#I understand the appeal even without that canon material

[loverboy-cc]

There’s something so strange about starting to hate a ship I adore bc of its popularity. I’m usually at worst uninterested in ships but I’m growing an actual tangible hatred, it’s so odd.

[alastors-antlers]

Being someone who sees a lot of talk about shipping Alastor (sexually, romantically) in fanworks, I just want to take some time to talk about both sides of the issue. It's long, I know - please, please bear with me until the end, and I hope you'll understand what I mean in a bit.

I hope this helps someone, but as an aroace person who understands the frustration and hurt, this is often how it feels to me:

Alastor, being one of the limited cases of aspec rep that I've seen and one of even fewer which I actually enjoyed, means a lot to me.

That being said, his canon rep establishes that he's aroace but not much about how this factors into his life or relationships at all -- and when there's a gap in canon, I turn to fanfiction, which tends to spotlight characters' queerness even when the source material doesn't or can't. Don't we all want to see ourselves in the media we engage with?

When I pull up AO3, there are already a good number of fics about him. Great! Some of them are definitely incredible; but as I read on, it starts to seem like a lot of fics I see acknowledge that he's asexual or aromantic in some way but don't really factor that into the story. It reads like you could have written the story without keeping his queer identity in mind, and it would've come out the same.

Even when representation that does resonate with me exists, it starts to be exhausting to pick through the slash tags to see which ones are written in an aspec-coded way, so I wonder if it would be easier to not read anything with slash at all. On the other hand, when you filter ships out completely, only a tiny fraction of the fanworks are left.

People often respond that aspec people can have relationships, and I think we tend to know that. They can have sex, some can experience sexual attraction in select situations, they can romance others beyond romantic attraction -- any combination of things. But some aroace people don't want either, and sometimes we're struggling to see ourselves in how Alastor is typically portrayed.

Out of all of the fics, sex-repulsed, totally aromantic Alastor isn't seen much. And when Alastor's limited canon seems to be pretty supportive of a reading where he is those things...

Sometimes, you start to feel lost. If fics were evenly distributed along the aroace spectrum of experiences, wouldn't you expect more fics of him being the "totally uninterested" brand of aroace? But there aren't. People seem to have a preference toward seeing him in relationships. Even if they mean well, it can make you think: what does that say about how we view asexuality/aromanticism as a whole?

Is there something less interesting about Alastor, when romance is taken out of the picture? Do others find him less appealing as a character if they can't see him dating, or in love, or having sex or wanting it? Why do we need romance, when romance is already everywhere else, when it doesn't even feel like he was originally really interested? It brings to mind a struggle to be societally accepted, even today.

Even when it's not technically wrong to write Alastor as you see him, being told that we should all be able to ship him however we want can feel like this:

It brings to mind people who try to swing in with misinformed good intentions, telling us "oh, you're aromantic? but you can still have romantic relationships, right? so you can still be normal." when all we want is to be okay outside of the normal.

Or trying to find a partner who can be with us, out of everyone who tells us "I know you don't enjoy sex, and that's okay, but I can't have a romantic relationship with you without it." and being so tired of hoping for someone who gets it.

Or talking with peers, and hearing them all commiserate and fawn over their experiences with love, then telling them about someone you like non-romantically and getting "aww, it sounds like somebody's got a crush!" but not being believed when you tell them it's not like that at all.

Alastor is not a big deal, not really, not in the grand scheme of things. But in an allonormative world, it can feel like a sudden splash of cold water when we were expecting a warm fire to sit around. Even within this ecosystem, we squint to see ourselves reflected.

Society isn't built for us. It can be exhausting to be reminded of that.

~~~

I hope to support people writing Alastor as any variation of aspec, or not even aspec at all. At the end of the day, I think that fanon is really whatever you want it to be, and everyone has their own reasons for writing what they find enjoyable. They should be allowed to do so, and I want to believe that people do what they do with good intentions.

They want to imagine scenarios with the templates of characters they love, and that's okay; even beyond sexuality/queer identities/etc., fan interpretations of characters can be incredibly, wildly different from who they really are in the story anyway, and that's what I try to remind myself. But still, I also can't help feeling disappointed about the aroace representation we could have seen.

(Is Alastor canonically sex-repulsed? Uhh, maybe. If I had to guess, that'd be my top guess, but this might be a hot take: I wouldn't really say there's enough to go off of considering that this view is supported by Angel propositioning him both times, and it's not like Alastor is a particularly big fan of Angel at those points anyway lol)

To my fellow aroaces struggling with Alastor's fandom rep: if you need a break from it all; if you need to block the tags that you hate; if you need to talk to someone about how you're feeling; that's okay. It makes sense that you'd want more representation in a way that helps you feel seen and validated and less alone. I can't speak for everyone, but I think I get it.

I don't have any solutions for how you're feeling, because sometimes I'm feeling the same way. I understand that you want others to get your position and you have the right to express your feelings, but even if you're correct, often being angry or frustrated won't help change others' minds, so let's try to save our energy and take care of ourselves.

Something that helps me to think about is that even now, asexuality is gaining more visibility. We're gaining support. Real change is happening in the world that's helping incredible amounts of aspec people feel freer to be themselves. And maybe one day, we won't be reaching to protect our scraps of representation.

Let's fight until that day together <3

[brassrosepetals]

ash & honey (h.a. x reader) [II]

Part II: Champagne Supernova

Part I

A.N.// Big moves being made both in this project and a super secret second thing in the works. Get excited, squad. With graduation coming up, though, it make take me a minute so sit tight// title track

warnings: canon typical violence/tragedy, drinking, bloody imagery

Summary: Haymitch and Y/N fall apart

word count: ~4k

President Snow had us in his office by the next morning. The 74th reaping was creeping towards us, and the sticky summer air forced revolutionary ideals to sweat from the pores of those in the districts. Everyone knew it, no one better than Haymitch. Really, I thought, he must know it better than Snow. Back when he was the young hope for the revolution, he felt it too.

The warm breeze whispered calls against tyranny in the ears of the rising, hungry generation. He had heard it once, too. Money had never been harder to come by in the districts, and Twelve faired the worst. Even people in town lost their jobs with no demand to supply for. Most money moved through the Hob but it never went far. They were itching to hear from the Capitol with the quiet understanding that they never would. They would have to, though, if President Snow wanted exports. Without the raw material mined from Twelve, how would he furnish his master suite or develop new high-tech surveillance systems or fund his victory tour after parties? A miners strike, perhaps, could be the spark that catches this time.

So, like he couldn’t help but do whenever he felt threatened, he sent someone to silence them. Unfortunately, this time he’d sent us. It was odd, we’d never been particularly cooperative with him and we had the scars to prove it. There was something about us, though, that Snow found desirable. We were cold and metal and hollow then, trained to comply but bearing our teeth the whole way. We’d been muzzled by the Capitol, and every time he forced us on stage we lost another ounce of our dignity. He used us to appeal to the districts. That spark he saw in us, that waining appetite to do something huge, tricked the districts into thinking they still had a voice in the Capitol. Our obnoxious, cynical attitudes gave them a mirage of hope. That betrayal of the people who trusted us would sometimes manifest in the most violent outbursts, the most crushing sorrow, and the least restful nights’ sleep. But most often, we would collapse into each other like asteroids colliding in hidden corners of the universe where no one would hear them scream, behind closed doors. We had so many plans and nothing to show for them.

If I had ever indulged in the self-pity for too long, wondering what I had let them do and thinking, for a moment, that the second and successful rebellion would miss my lifetime, my anger would flare at the glaring injustice of it all. What have I done I’d ask myself. How did I let this happen? After everything they did, what am I doing? On my best days, I would find reasons to punish myself by staying isolated, hiding in the crinkles of our bedsheets and locking doors and pushing Haymitch away. On the worst days, he would take all of my heart break in whatever form I chose to give to him. Screaming, howling sobs that I could tell embedded themselves under his skin. Pounding on his chest in a futile attempt to expel fire from my veins. Unkind words, misdirected anger, and he just stands there accepting the brunt of me in my most disgraceful form.

They’d always be followed by exhausted apologies. “I’m sorry,” I’d cry, “I love you. You didn’t deserve that, I’m so sorry.”

And every time, I got the same answer. He said that he wanted nothing more than to be anything I needed. He said that he wanted to be someone who I could trust with the worst of myself, and that he would always be there to pick up the pieces no matter how disorderly they fell. That he’d been there, and that he wished for all the world that he had someone to take it all out on— to let it all out with. This answer squeezed my heart within an inch for explosion. I hated how willing he was to suck the heartbreak from my bones and inject it straight into his own veins. I hated doing that to him, so more often I hid.

That day, there had been no time for that cycle in the morning. Instead we skipped breakfast to sleep in and delay the inevitable. We were carted off to the president’s mansion and sat in two velvet-lined chairs across a heavy oak desk. My right leg crossed protectively over my left, my tingling hands running back and forth, up and down my thighs to stop them from shaking before they were replaced by the weight Haymitch’s hand to still them. Snow noticed the gesture like he noticed everything else, with a cryptic glance and a subtle smirk.

“Welcome to the Capitol,” his eyes traveled between us with intentional informality. A shiver rolled down my spine like thunder booming over the horizon.

“We’re very happy to be here.” The pressed-lip smile couldn’t climb to his eyes. It was obvious bullshit, but it was bullshit that kept us alive. All three of us knew it, and Snow dropped his head slightly with an earnest chuckle.

“Haymitch,” he asked, “must we greet each other with such… dishonest affection?” He stays very still, eyes fixed on the sharp toothed, grey haired monster in front of him. Snow had never been quite so candid with us. There was always an understanding from him that the two of us found him to be less than admirable, and there was an understanding from us that he simply didn’t care. So for him to have to say it out loud must have meant he wanted something.

“Well, Mr. President, I figured I’d match your energy.” Another laugh. Snow felt safer the more he vocalized. If he was laughing or speaking or even condescending he couldn’t be organizing your slaughter in secret.

“That’s true,” he conceded, “I am guilty as well. Well, at the risk of being direct, you two will be participating in a sort of project of mine. With the upcoming Quarter Quell, I’ve decided that, in order to get the Capitol and the districts primed for such a momentous occasion, that the two of you conduct some archival research.”

At the mention of the Quarter Quell Haymitch turns to ice in his seat. If he was lucky, he’d melt into a chilly, dripping puddle on the floor. His hand on my thigh stilled with his heart. I could see him repress a shiver from the corner of my eye, but for now he would have to keep it together with the quiet understanding that I saw him. I wished I could project my thoughts directly into his brain. I know, I would say in the tone reserved only for his most fragile moments. The one with the sugar and the honey. You’re okay. A few more minutes, I would remind him. Soon we would be out of there and I could hold his hand all the way back to the apartment where my heart would be his for as long as he needed it.

“What kind of research?” My voice spoke for the both of us. Snow was acutely aware of Haymitch’s subtle change in demeanor, of course he was. A smirk barely tugged at the corner of his mouth.

“For the year leading up to the big event, we are hosting a segment on Caesar’s show: A Celebration of Victors.”

There was only one way I could be of any use to this. I knew it right away, he was hardly presenting me with a riddle. He wanted Margot. Only Coriolanus Snow was venomous enough to even imply for a moment that there was something more he could have of her. Only he, evil incarnate, could even ask me to poison her legacy further with propaganda slop. No matter how much he wanted to gnaw on her bones like a rabid animal, she had nothing more to give. If I was truer to the girl I used to be I would have reached out with talons, sharp as the diamonds they cut to incrust in his watch face, manicured on his dollar, made dangerous by the flaming rage behind my eyes, and twisted his neck until I heard a gratifying snap and the delicious thud of his body hitting the ground. At the very least I would die trying. But that girl was gone, and my panic and my fury and my dread were neatly tucked away until I could get behind the soonest available locked door.

He went on to explain, in the voice he used that dripped with acid, that we were to compile footage, photos, memories, secrets, and intimate moments of her life to be televised in a series of victor highlights. We would work with other victors, other mentors to create a cohesive image of the honor of participating in the games. Our silence screamed through his cavernous halls, echoing into the cracks of each brick, every marble slab, and reverberating off of all the glass vases. His eyes biting into our skin and drawing stinging red blood. Of course, he let us simmer in our despair for a sufficient amount of time before twisting the knife.

“You’ve grown particularly fond of an Opal Lochwood in recent years, have you not?”

The final nail in the coffin. The last rose petal plucked from the stem in case I questioned for even a moment that he loved me not. Then he sent us away before we had a chance to gather ourselves from his ornate rug and hardwood floors. The walk down his marble-lined hallway felt infinite. There were no words exchanged as we were far too deep in enemy territory, but Haymitch’s knuckles must have turned white with the grip on my waist, tugging me impossibly closer but lacking the familiar hunger for affection. Instead, this closeness was a survival instinct, as if I was in danger of slipping through his fingers at any moment. Maybe I was. Maybe if I tried hard enough I would sink through the floor and into the cold, dark earth.

When we pulled up to the apartment there was a crowd outside the front doors. Our eyes met, wordlessly agreeing not to stop for a single one of them. They would write about that, about how we gave gushing Capitol citizens the cold shoulder. That was fine, good even. Maybe just what we needed, actually, for Snow to decide we were no longer fit for the job. We walked side by side, heads bowed to escape the demanding eyes. Once the flashes started his arm darted around my neck and his hand covered the side of my face, gently guiding into his shoulder. They would get no photos of us today.

No words had been spoken yet, neither of us even knew what to say. The door had a keypad, the combination particularly haunting today. With shaking hands Haymitch struggled to punch in the numbers. He tried once and failed with a quiet curse, twice, and before he could attempted a third time I reached out for his hand and held it in mine. He looked startled, his whole body jerking when he snapped his head in my direction. His eyes were wide, his mouth slightly open, his features soft and round. He looked so small in that moment. I forced a smile, trying to change his expression even though mine couldn’t have been any better.

“I’ll get it.”

I looked back down and the numbers were blurry and delicate water droplets fell down my cheek when I blinked away the obstruction. 5068. Haymitch and Margot’s games, because of course it was. We practically fell through the door, the weight of our pain and anger forcing heavy steps from our feet. We barely made it to the couch before collapsing in on ourselves like dying stars.

Haymitch sat first, rocking back and forth while digging into his eye sockets with the heels of his hands, rubbing in self-soothing circles. He wasn’t in a place to talk, that much was obvious. There was no amount of reassurance, no pearled string of words that would fix it. There was just nothing. We each felt the familiar void that followed presidential meetings. First the void, then the tears.

My hand found a gentle perch on his shoulder, squeezing subconsciously with the soft pads of my fingers. He didn’t react and that was okay. It was my turn now, to take care of the both of us. So, I did what I knew how to do. I slinked back into the kitchen, watching him out of the corner of my eye the entire way, listening for sounds of discomfort, feeling his energy for any drastic changes. When I reached the bar cart I took a moment away from Haymitch. I held onto one of its posts and squatted to the ground, keeping my feet flat on the floor but tucking my head into my knees under the pretense that I was searching the bottom shelf. A hand flew to my mouth desperate to muffle the rolling-thunder sobs that oozed from my mouth and threatened to spill out onto the floor beneath me. I stilled my shoulders, not letting them tremble with fear.

In through my nose, out through my mouth. It was my mantra that I repeated for as long as I could before my silence became suspicious. You can’t do this. You have to be there for him. Get up.

With a final breath I rose to my feet, hopelessly swiping at my cheeks to dry them. The two glasses clinked together, ringing out in the way only genuine crystal does. I filled them with the first brown bottle I could find, neither of us with the wherewithal to be picky in a moment like this, all the way to the brim. My shaking hands spilled sticky drops to the floor on my way back to the couch. Without looking at him I placed his glass on the coffee table and took a sip of mine before plopping down next to him. The taste was awful, smokey and citrus-y with a repulsive woody aftertaste. Fuck, tequila. Still I drank it, letting it run down my throat past my raw vocal cords to settle into a volatile compound that sat like a rock in my stomach. We’d had nothing to eat. This would surely help us numb the pain.

The clank of my glass against the table drew his attention. He turned to look at me, at my red-rimmed eyes and my my bottom lip wedged between my teeth. I looked at him, too. In this state, I thought, he looked the most like himself. He was authentically damaged and was able to express it truthfully, a rare luxury for him. We were each overwhelmed with the magnetism of the other. His head ducked as he leaned into me, and I tucked it gently under my chin and into my chest. His arms gripped around my waist like it was a life ring in the most turbulent seas. In that moment I was the only thing keeping him afloat. My tender hand combing slowly through his hair held his head above water for as long as it could. For a while I just held him while he shook. I didn’t know what else to do or how long I could keep my walls up. A dam cracked under the pressure of tears building up in a reservoir that was nearing its limit, and by holding him together I held us both together. For a while, I was strong enough for the two of us.

With a sniffle and a clearing of his throat he sat up, reaching for his glass and pretending he didn’t falter. In his head, he was the strong one. The one who wore impenetrable armor and rode a valiant white steed. Some twisted ideal of masculinity, I figured. Usually, and overwhelming amount of the time, he was. But he wasn’t always. For as many times as I held him, shielding him from the monsters creeping their way into him, he had done the same for me two times over. Today though, if nothing else, I got my own small piece of heaven in knowing that I took even a moment of pain away from him.

He picked up his glass, throwing back at least half of it in one go and barely scrunching up his face afterwards. He turns to me, struggling to look me in the eyes for a moment. When he did he asked, “What are we going to do.”

I stared blankly back at him, blinking through my confusion. “What do you mean?”

“I’m not doing it, Y/N.”

What did that mean? How could he not do it? Obviously were were gonna do it, what did he think we would do instead? My eyes searched him for an answer, gaze still soft and trying to understand.

“I’m not doing it,” he repeated. “I won’t, Y/N, I can’t.” His eyes rimmed with tears again, and my thumbs were there to catch and brush them away as quickly as they began to fall, holding his head firmly between my hands. He wasn’t thinking clearly, he was too upset.

“Haymitch, baby, we’ll figure it out. It’ll be okay, we’ll-“

Before I knew what was happening his hands grabbed my wrists away from him face. Stone-gray eyes locking onto mine with a sort of sternness I’d only seen from him in his more dire moments. The hairs on my arms stood at attention, surprised but never afraid of him. “No! I’m not doing it, I’m not doing this for him!”

“We have to, Haymitch. Let’s not think about it today, we’ll figure out how we handle this just like we do everything else. We’ll talk about it and we’ll stay alive.” My wrists miss the heat of his hands immediately after he drops them. Standing now, he paces back and forth across the floor, hand dragging roughly down his face. He was at his limit and I couldn’t help him now. I could see in the way that he practically fell back on his heels, how his eyelid barely twitched with each word, and how his voice took on a tone that was never meant for me that it was too late to calm him down.

What he didn’t know was that my dam was breaking too. At one wrong word it would burst and the flood would wipe out anything in its path, taking down hundred-year-old oaks and any helpless animal unlucky enough to cross its path. He was in too deep to consider this and he was only diving deeper into the chasm of his anguish.

“How could you say that, Y/N? After everything he did to you— to us —you’re gonna help him rewrite history?”

Crack.

I stood now to feel less vulnerable. “He’s threatening the Lochwoods. He mentioned Opal by name. What else am I supposed to do?”

“You think he she won’t suffer anyway? You think that her name being in his lexicon isn’t enough?”

Crack.

“I think I want to be able to tell her mother that I did everything I could to keep her safe.”

“Safe how? Safe like Margot?”

He changed the moment it left his mouth. His eyes grew wider and his offensive aura melted into something horrifically apologetic almost immediately. He let out the breath he didn’t know he was holding, his own words knocking the wind out of himself. No more thoughts ran through his head and he waited for my response, waited for me to combust or to disintegrate or to otherwise self destruct. Whatever situation he was faced with he would respond to accordingly.

My knees would have buckled under me should I not have reached the arm of the couch in time. If I was still breathing, I wasn’t aware of it. All external stimuli was gone. My vision blurred, the feel of the upholstery disappeared from under my fingertips, and I lowered myself carefully into a sitting position. I couldn’t hear his apologies at first, couldn’t smell his cologne as approached. My mind was filled with her, with my Margot, before things went so wrong. Before Snow had taken her and systematically destroyed her, pulling her apart brick by brick until she toppled over, spilling onto the ground where she was discarded. He dissected her with probing eyes and infected her with Capitol culture until there was nothing left of her.

Even the thought of that happening to Opal was enough to pull my heart out of my body. That’s the unfortunate reality of getting attached: You relinquish control. My heart, a piece of it, anyway, was in her hands. I had considered the possibility of Snow targeting her and her family before, of course, but I had never been threatened quite so explicitly. Haymitch had too, but he'd never been quite so blunt about it.

The dam had broken now and the flood waters washed away all sense of obligation to keep it together. I knew he didn’t mean it, at least not the way it came off. What was meant to be critical commentary on Snow’s hypocrisy was somehow mutated into a criticism of my ability to protect the most precious thing in my life. He didn’t mean it like that but it hurt just the same. The tears poured freely now. The worst part was that he was right. My efforts to keep Margot safe, however relatively that word can be used, had failed. No matter how many midnights I spent replaying events, going through every action since her reaping all that time ago with a fine-toothed comb, I couldn’t change that. It hit Haymitch just as hard. He loved her too in his own, convoluted sort of way. He missed her.

He was sitting on the couch when I came to, my legs pulled over his lap and body cradled into his. There was no way to know if his subtle back and forth rocking was to help calm himself or me, but it was comforting just the same. He rested his cheek on the crown of my head. The pressure of his hands on me was soothing, grounding me in reality. He didn’t vocalize his apologies anymore, instead choosing to say it with hands gripping tightly at my shirt that begged me not to go anywhere. He said it in the heat of his skin against mine, hoping to thaw the parts of me that hardened with his words, and in the way that he centered me in his lowest moment. By the time he leaned his head down, whispering “I’m sorry” into the shell of my ear I had already forgiven him. I’d forgiven him long before he’s lifted me delicately off the couch and through the door to the bedroom, and I’d certainly forgiven him long before the tears stopped flowing, either of ours.

We spent the rest of the day in relative silence, no more needed to be said. We were both been skinned by Snow and all be could do now was hang ourselves out to dry. Haymitch ran a bath and we spent hours soaking in each other, gently washing each others hair from the sweat and the tears and the gutting despair. We didn’t speak about what our next move was. If we were lucky, the president would let us get through the reaping before he started the project. There was only so much we could do at one time, so many ways we could hold ourselves together. With any added layers, the tape and glue and running stitches would fall apart. We agreed to strategize in the morning. We agreed that we wouldn’t let him take another life if there was anything we could do about it. And we agreed that, before anything else, we would stay alive. All I could do then was relax into his chest under the cooling water and prepare for the days ahead.

Part III

[cozymochi]

With all this Nyoka talk, are you lowkey tired? I fear with all these Nyoka asks might become annoying to you. 💔 Or when there’s too many asks about a specific thing or person.

WAAAAA?? If anything, I have the exact opposite fear. Everyone else being annoyed by seeing him so much from me.

I bring it up and allude to it sporadically, but It’s not like I’m unaware that the majority of people would much much rather have me go back to posting art about the canon cast. It certainly has more mass appeal.

Though if anyone followed my bluesky or looked at my kofi they would see all the WIPs of that exact thing. But, that’s not my main, so it probably doesn’t count, does it? (I don’t really like posting WIPs on main.)

It’s a very VERY high privilege to be able to indulge in a non-canon character at all, more specifically at the behest of other people asking for it. Like, genuinely.

I never really bought the idea from a few people calling me “big” or “popular” given I never really talk to anybody off my own posts (sans IRL friend), and the only art that ever seems to truly pop off and cycle everywhere that I can see tends to only happen when when Malleus or Leona is in it (mainly the former, regardless of the quality im disatisfied with). In a way, I still don’t fully buy it.

Those two are already popular with built in fanbases, so that’s a given.

But then Nyoka dropped and he’s popping off to nearly their levels and I haven’t gone too long without somebody asking about him or his mouth

SO THAT’S A WAKE UP CALL.. Something that made me go “huh. maybe they were right about me…” or at least… Something happened with him specifically that clicked for whatever reason. I MEAN. MY TOP POSTS SPEAK FOR ME.

LOOOOK! He’s playing with the big boys??

One oF MY FRIENDS WROTE AN “X READER” FIC UNDER MY NOSE. AND IT DID WELL ouTside of our goofy asses. ThAT’S INSANEEE

Understand this though, while I do have the autonomy to not answer asks about him— If I was really tired of it, I wouldn’t keep answering. I answer so long as I receive them.

Cuz, Idk if anyone’s noticed, but I’m not the best at bringing up my own stuff on my own accord. If I do, there was a high chance I was pushed into it by somebody else, or I might have liked the art a little more than I should have to the point I think giving it it’s own post is justified.

I’ve always had Tia as my defacto Prefect, but she’s the Prefect. A character that can be anything and anybody (and almost everyone has one). And I never really brought her up willingly too much. I don’t even bother making her cameo in scenarios where she could be there. I just use Grim as a stand in. I don’t even post or talk about 80% of her junk out of nervousness and fear.

I AM GRATEFUL AND THANKFUL FOR ALL THE ASKS I RECEIVE AND THE ENTHUSIASM 💖 I know I’m not the best at showing it since I haven’t ascribed to the keyboard smash + crazy image in a while, but i AMMMM. I go feral.

(ALSO bear in mind, I had Nyoka for almost two years before he ever went public. 😭👍 I think we’re good.)

…Still, with all that said: The self-inflicted-but-possibly-justified pressure still exists. With every new ask I answer about Nyoka or some other non-canon guy, I feel like the others who only really followed me for the more canon specific art are certainly getting annoyed watching it unfold and are just waiting for me to get back to it.

(Again, haven’t stopped. Bluesky/Kofi.)

I mean for example, I doubt it was intentional, but I got one reminder the other day when I was asked about updating a Leona WIP after that whole gacha pull bet thing.

That shows me somebody is waiting for something not Nyoka related. Though, given the nature of the material, they’ll probably be disappointed (its not even all that big). I took it in stride the other day but upon reflection it’s starting to gnaw at me. I only really posted the WIP to break up all the Nyoka stuff so people don’t get upset. Otherwise, I would have kept it under wraps properly.

So, I can only imagine what others are not saying.

And if I’m paranoid enough (which i am), it’ll only be a matter of time before somebody hits a wall and decides that enough is enough on my behalf. Hype backlash is a real thing, and while I don’t know when it’s coming, It’s inevitable. So, if anything I should slow down.

But then I get left in a position where I’m not posting any art at all.

Granted, not posting enough art and especially ones that are more generalized gnaws at me all the time regardless.

Getting Nyoka or other non-canon character stuff is honestly the most freedom I can get. There’s a lot less stakes involved, and I just have an easier time. I do genuinely like thinking about them!!! I LikE DRAWING THEM!! Again, being prompted by OTHERS IS especially a high privilege to be able to do.

Don’t get it twisted though (no pun intended), I also enjoy the canon cast and I put them above my own junk any day. Heck most are easier to draw than the non-canon freaks, but... Idk I do more self comparison to other artists more than people think, and it mostly comes down to me believing that I can’t draw them that well nor can convey anything high-concept or even LOW concept about them in an appealing enough way.

There’s just sooo many other artists to choose from. And better stuff at that. It’s also why I don’t fully believe people if they value me above other ones. With the stuff I put out, it doesn’t make any sense as to why that would be the case.

And while I am trying to compile a bunch of work *cough kofi/bluesky cough*, I get stumped really quickly while working on them. There’s a bar of quality I want, and with each characters built-in fanbases and stans it’s very taxing trying to not potentially let anyone down.

With Nyoka and the others no such bar exists. He and the others fall into a category that most people don’t put much stake in to begin with.

I think it’s a different beast when following an artist who sticks to drawing or writing about the same canon character all the time. There’s a niche for it and a built in audience who wants that, so nobody is going to get up in arms. (Well except maybe a bad apple who gets territorial about two cakes.)

As opposed to a non-specific artist/writer who suddenly posts an OC and for the next few weeks that’s seemingly all they post about, even if it is mostly from asks. There’s nothing backing that up. They came for cakes, why tf is this chef making stir fry?!

Yeah, some people may be cool with it since it keeps being asked for and I like making it. But, sooner or later someone is going to go “when are you go back to baking cakes? Wasnt this the whole point?”

TL;DR: NO, IM NOT TIRED OF HIM. I don’t exactly lose drive for my own little batch of chaos and I’m super thankful for it 💜💜💜💜💜 But I do have a very real fear of others getting annoyed by it.

Even this ask has me raising my eyebrow a little. I can’t imagine anyone being tired talking about their own stuff.

…But I can imagine the opposite.

And I know I get this reply constantly with “Oh just post what u want it’s your blog” I can only give a look that I can’t translate into text. 💃

[a-big-apple]

pls can we get your most niche tlt headcanons/ canon points you think are too overlooked or unappreciated/ fanon you see too often mistaken for canon/ juicy background bits on the babytrap or skater AU or otherwise.. the ppl are starving

omg this is exactly the treat i deserve after doing so many chores today, im gonna hit all these categories just for funsies

niche tlt headcanon: this is maybe more a theory than a pure headcanon but i think someone in Camilla's direct family line, either a parent or a grandparent, was from outside the Houses. Hect is an arithmonym, but it's not Sixth, it's a prefix meaning 100. as there's no 10th (or 100th) House, i like to think this is meant to indicate that someone in her recent family tree was an outsider! also she's hot enough for the Alexandrites, which suggests at least one of her bio parents or grandparents was hot enough for the Nireids and perhaps scored some out-of-House genetic material to spice up the Sixth's diversity. also Silas questions her eligibility to be cav primary, and since she's brilliant and badass and the Sixth don't base these things on bloodline/inheritance, there's no reason for even a prig like Silas to disqualify her other than some kind of citizenship issue. anybody with at least one Sixth parent is considered Sixth, that's their whole deal, but maybe the Eighth take a dimmer view?

smaller but purer headcanon that has no basis in anything except my gut: i think the "very silly" description of herself that Dulcie sent to Pal and Cam, and the drawing Cam sent back (mentioned in TUG), is a reference to this classic of ancient tumblr

overlooked/underappreciated canon moment: at this point i dont think there's anything i have noticed that i haven't seen at least one person blog about, but one of the tiny little things that gives me shrimp emotions is Gideon in the pool scene, after she's had this intense thing with Harrow, and then Harrow starts waxing about her beloved in the Tomb: "[Harrow's] voice had the quality of someone in a long dream. She stared through Gideon without looking at her, and Gideon gently took her hands away from Harrow's jaw. Instead she sat back in the water, buoyed by the salt, her eyes starting to sting from it." she's suddenly being told that Harrow is into someone else, she assumes these feelings she's been slowly catching are doomed before she can even really examine them, she pulls back from the very intimate position they've just been in, and she has a quiet lil cry about it that she won't even acknowledge in the narration. BUT I KNOW WHAT THAT SALT STINGING YOUR EYES IS GIDEON NAV

fanon you see too often mistaken for canon: GIDEON ISN'T STUPID T^T she's not a himbo jock, she's just a jock who doesn't care about necromancy! she also can't sense it, so she naturally has less information than Harrow about what's going on in GtN. she has a baller vocabulary, she's strategic, she's observant, she's super good at what she does, and she adapts to a completely novel situation VERY quickly.

also? i understand why it's visually more appealing to draw Kiriona with her chussy out, or modern au Gideon showing a lot of skin, i dig it, im hot for her too. but Gideon is canonically shy. she doesn't even take off her robes to duel in GtN, and is so constantly hooded that nobody even knows she's a redhead until halfway through the book. Kiriona is buttoned up to the point of wearing a goddamn ascot to cover her neck hole. i definitely understand au situations where her upbringing was different and so she's a little different, that's part of a good au for me, but it still always crosses my mind when i see her with her shirt wide open or her tummy out or in booty shorts or something. she's hot and she wants everyone to think she knows it, but deep down she does not know it and doesn't really flaunt it, except those guns

juicy background bits on babytrap or skater au: hmmmmm. Kiriona would deny it's the reason she hasn't named the baby, but she IS waiting for Harrow. she doesn't feel like she has the right, and she has complex feelings about both the names her own parents gave her. she has a deep-seated sense that Harrow, who is smart and cares a lot about doing things the right way, will be better suited to this responsibility.

in the figure skating au...a minor character from early in the story is going to be very important in the sequel fic, i think.

[twstyuna]

i wish i loved skully the way you do. there's a special lil freaky dude in your brain that doesnt exist the same way in mind, but i like yours so much more he seems so much more vivid and alive when you describe him.

i think that's why i like fanfiction so much. it adds so much to these characters that i'm too afraid to dive into like that. like im too scared of what they could become if i let them roam free, that i won't like them anymore, or they'd become something so unlike their canon selves and what's the point there?

or maybe that's precisely the point and the appeal? to create something very personal with these characters as a foundation to spring from?

Ah. Despite lamenting it in the void of tags I am once again briefly reckoning with the Horror of Being seen. I do appreciate the ask though.

This ended up longer than I anticipated. (Like 1k words haha)

I'm not going to defend myself or act coy, Skully sparks an unreasonable amount of joy in my heart and brain for character I did not care about for a month and who is twisted from a character that I also have no particular attachment to from a film i have never watched in its entirety. That ending though man that END. My soul rejected Skully's fate and circumstances at the end of the event so violently that it overcorrected into copium and now seesaws (still very violently) into "HE'S FINE GUYS NOTHING'S WRONG" and "EVERYTHING IS WRONG ARGH THE TRAGEDY" and this is just the state I'm in now I think. The longer the rot stays, the deeper he's burying into my brain wrinkles. Mayhaps one day the love will shrivel and I will look upon this time fondly but for better or worse I do not think that time is nigh.

Skully and Yuu (whatever versions I have made of them) just live in my brain rent-free now. Because I have unfortunately got a never-ending supply of poison. You see, I like yandere content. What you should take away from this is not my questionable and/or concerning taste in fictional characters, but that I can live off the same vibes with mild differences for an eternity and thus with the building blocks that the sick, sick twst writers gave, there is just enough material for me to keep going over the same angst and friendship just in different flavors without getting sick of it. And so my brain keeps jumping between aus where Skully's a ghost, where he's alive, where he's childhood friends with Yuu, where he overblotted, so on so forth.

Honestly I kind of feared coming across as cringe because of just how much he's kind of taken over my blog but you know, might as well admit that rather than skirt around it. Also if I can impart even part of this plague and pain upon others, I think I will be happy from the schadenfreude of it. Please also suffer as I have from stupid sad sweet skeleton boy disease. PLEASE I CAN'T KEEP HAVING TO MAKE MY OWN CONTENT I mean who said that

I truly did not understand the blorbo disease or the creative crack that a Character could be until Skully, but that (sopping wet pathetic puppy) BASTARD (affectionate) is the reason why I have written so many of the twst fics I have now, because somehow that Skully brainrot has spawned Crewel brainrot and occasionally other character brainrot but I am getting off-topic.

I don't know how canon my Skully is.

The biggest headcanon difference probably being that despite being able to accept and enjoy a flashier, more extravagant, Halloween, I choose to think he still liked his drab original one to some degree. I assume he forgot Halloween town's events like the present day cast did, but that's not a certainty. I like him also having amnesia for angst reasons though, because there is something tragic and horrifying to me about one day waking up and the thing you love more than anything in the world has changed a little and you don't know why. It's like a cuckoo bird, like a parasite laid something in your heart and one day you find the original thing you love has died and what remains isn't the form you loved and cherished for so long though you have nurtured it into what it is. And you can love this strange new thing but the remnants of the old still linger in the back of your mind. There's just so much horror and tragedy that could be in him and we are stuck with nothing but the knowledge that he was a lonely boy who was very attached to Halloween and Jack Skellington and the worst he ever did to someone who played along with him instead of fighting him on his practices was kidnap them for a sort of date I suppose and leave them with snacks. He was so lonely and kept trying to make connections like saying things were fated and finding kinship in the smallest things he was so happy to have a Halloween together with others that even if he didn't remember why, that love and desire to share Halloween haunted him the rest of his life even if it meant his original Halloween which he grew up with for 16 years would eventually die. Because Halloween should evolve etcetera etctera. Well he's become quite like his original Halloween in that he's basically forgotten by the wider population of Twisted Wonderland and that stuff is just so painful.

And also the fact that he's barely known, that he didn't like attention, that there's barely any paintings of him. Why did he have to be invisible in present day? Does he not want to be seen??? Did he want to stay forgotten so his friends of a few nights could enjoy Halloween without missing him??? Is there something wrong with his soul??? His painting can't talk even if other portraits can. What happened to his soul I need to know but I have nothing but theories that it's split between a roaming spirit and the painting, or got fractured if he overblotted, or that he's just so old he forgot. I need ANSWERS but I also have to make them up.

Anyway, I think the point of fanfic is to do what you want with characters if that makes you happy (even if in a masochistic way). Sometimes that means making them OOC or making them tooth-rottingly sweet or sticking them in the Angst Chamber. Someone else out there may enjoy it. If they don't, at least you will enjoy it, If you don't enjoy the character anymore, then move on. If the character mutates beyond canon, file off the serial numbers, change enought o make the Character an OC, there is no fandom police to stop you. If you have your own freaky little dude, cultivate him and let him run free like a cognitohazard. The world is your oyster. If you're afraid of being too strange, make a sideblog or another ao3 account or something.

I think fanwork is undeniably personal. Whatever Skully that ends up in my fics and ramblings probably says something about the things I like and am drawn to. Things about angst and pain and guilt and friendship and connection and affection and self-sacrifice that walks the line between selfish and selflessness and all that stuff. I don't have a psychology degree to pick apart my brain exactly, but using his character the way I do makes me happy and I'm just gonna enjoy it as long as it does.

I do have some faint fears about what will happen if Skully's story is continued in a future NBC event, but even if that Skully ends up being different from the way I picture him in my head, it's not gonna change the one I've already made up. Maybe I'll like his canon form more, maybe I'll like it less, but the fanon one I've made up isn't gonna disappear and I am a believer and appreciated of the 2 cakes thing. If his names is localized as Scully I'm keeping my k-Skully and britishassistant can pry that spelling from my cold dead hands.

[northwest-cryptid]

What I say: I dislike that you can't have opinions anymore without being attacked over it. Like you literally cannot have a difference of opinion from the popular norm without being made into a bad person.

What assholes on the internet seem to think this means: I'm clearly saying something bigoted, racist, sexist; or in some way offensive and just playing it off as "opinion" and not a moral failing as a human being.

What I'm actually talking about: I got attacked for saying that I don't personally care for fanfiction because of the simple fact that if I like a piece of media enough to seek out fandom related to it, it's because I like the media. You know, from the source. Very often, in fact almost entirely; I've found that fandom creation around media I enjoy enough to seek out fandom around a media; portrays the media I've come to love almost entirely excluded from the canon in which I love it. I've often heard people say "this fanfic is better than the canon" so I read it, and what they mean is "this fanfic more closely aligns with what I personally want the canon to be." Not necessarily that "the fanfiction is objectively better than the canon." I happen to enjoy media within the canon that the media is created within because it's how I'm first shown the media and it's the source of the media's existence. If you remove a character from their setting, story, and basis for their entire concept to put them in the shoes of an early 2000's cafe barista job AU that ignores everything about their story in favor of focusing on a romantic plot related to a character they canonically have absolutely no chemistry with... Well I'm glad that people get enjoyment out of that but it's not going to appeal to me personally. I'm not saying it's objectively wrong, or morally bad or something. I'm saying that I personally don't enjoy it, which only got brought up because I was specifically asked for my opinion on fanfics and then attacked for saying they aren't my cup of tea because I'd rather engage with the actual canon material that the media I enjoy exists within; since that's why I enjoy the media in the first place. I really do personally feel like if you strip a character, or world setting of it's canon source material in favor of redesigning the whole thing in your vision, you would be better off making your own original creation to begin with, because outside of having some familiar names and faces; you're not adhering to anything the source material actually offers. If you're just tweaking one or two things about it, I can understand it a lot better but it doesn't mean I'd like it personally, which is fine. I don't have to like it; it's your fanfic. I'm of the belief that you should at least try everything once or else you don't really know for sure if it's "for you" even if it's just in the privacy of your own home, you don't need to talk about it; you don't need to go out and share your opinion with the world. However you should try it at least once to know if it's something you would actually enjoy in practice and not just in concept; again just my personal belief. I've tried reading fanfics and the like and I can understand the appeal for others, but it's just not for me. I didn't realize that stating that opinion and personal feeling, when prompted to; would result in people being literally audibly and visibly upset with me for "being so negative about something they love so much" when all I said was that I didn't personally enjoy it.

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

what is your second most favorite otp from any series?

AAAAAAHHHHH, DON'T DO THIS TO ME! There are some many pairings I love in so many books, movies, series, soap-operas, etc.

*sighs* Okay, gun to my head, there's three, in no particular order that I absolutely ADORE, have made me cry, and that I legitimately don't understand how anyone could watch these shows and not ship them (spoilers for Friends, How I Met Your Mother and The Borgias, respectively)

Monica and Chandler

Because I was just 4-years-old when Friends final season was aired, I already knew these two were going to be endgame when I watched the show - and it didn't take long for me to see the appeal, even when they were still supposed to be just friends.

They're just so affectionate with each other right from the start, cuddling on the couch, helping each other out - and Chandler just casually says stuff like "If neither of us is married when we're fourty, I'm totally willing to marry and have a kid with you just so you get the family you want" and actively tries PROVE to her he is boyfriend material and they make a game out of it??????? Genius. Perfect. Amazing.

And then it happens, they hook up and right away they're couple goals. Can't keep their hands off each other, are super clingy, all of their friends find them ridiculously adorable, Chandler matures A LOT and Monica is very patient with him because she knows he's used to hiding any emotional turmoil behind a sarcastic joke, and they can joke about and tease each other without either of them being too mean or too sensitive.

Also their conflicts never last more than one or two episodes and they never break up after first getting together, and it was a breath of fresh air coming from the same show that gave us Ross and Rachel.

Barney and Robin

They have INSANE chemistry, Robin was the only woman Barney was truly willing to change for, and Barney was the one guy Robin was with that ever truly liked her for who she was.

They. Deserved. So. Much. Better.

Seriously, I can't get over how unfair their ending was. There's a reason I tell Zutarians to give this show a watch before they complain about how their ship, that was never even canon, was "robbed of it's happy ending."

We see Barney and Robin being teased as potentially having at least a fling someday as early as season 1, they finally hook up in season 3, season 4 is all about him struggling with being in love with her, seasons 5-7 are all about them dating then breaking up while still being very much in love yet never properly reconciliating because life gets in the way, season 8 is them getting engaged and being adorably happy together, the 9th and final season is THE WEEKEND OF THEIR WEDDING and them working through every last issue they still have to make sure they will a long, happy life together as a married couple...

Then the finale goes and says "Actually, they divorced off-screen because their hotel room had no wi-fi. Sorry." WHO THE FUCK DOES THAT? It's really no wonder the network cancelled the planned spin-off right after the finale aired.

Cesare and Lucrezia

Ah yes, a Nichya list of great ships includes a pair of siblings, specifically Older Brother X Young Sister, who would have thought? This time a kind of, sort of historical one! (Seriously, The Borgias is the kind of over-dramatic, historically inaccurate period piece I love wasting my time with, and the aesthetic is incredible).

Even as someone who is very into that kind of dynamic and that knew the show was gonna go there, I was still SHOCKED at how unsubtle is right from the start - especially once I found out the writer didn't want to play up the sexual tension originally.

Somehow, the first time we see these two on screen, Lucrezia is spying on her brother as he has sex and once he notices he playfully chases her around the garden, berating her for spying on him AGAIN, and then when they're on the ground together he just casually admits to loving her more than he loves God????????????????????????????? NORMAL SIBLING BEHAVIOR, EVERYBODY! NOTHING WEIRD GOING ON HERE!

I adore how protective (and possessive) Cesare is of her, ready to commit murder at the very thought of a man mistreating her - yet he is still willing to step aside when he thinks she found a good man, because nothing matters to him more than Lucrezia's happiness, not even his own. It just so happens that he always has to step in again because nobody loves her quite to insane degree he does, and thus she only feels truly safe, happy and loved with him, hence her saying "Only a Borgia can truly love a Borgia."

And they, legitimately, are insepareble. They're always close to each other, holding hands, hugging, cuddling, KISSING - all long before they're ready to admit, even to themselves that they're in love.

They are so clueless about what level of physical affection is normal between relatives that they made out in front of her husband and were surprised he found out about their incestuous affair.

And more importantly, thanks to the show being cancelled after season 3 instead of getting the planned fourth season, they never broke up! The show literally ends with them in each other's arms, accepting their love. I couldn't have asked for literally anything else.

[d34dlysinner]

An old trophy and a lost treasure

I wanted to write some angst. Made a poll and Bimet had the highest score on the poll. So here’s the ‘angst’.  Remember this post is made BEFORE the game release and thus can’t be seen as canon. It was made to feed my mind and other minds before the game’s release.  TW: violence No one knew how you did it, neither did you. Somehow you managed to capture Bimet’s heart without money being involved. In fact, you weren’t even rich enough for his standards. He would normally glare harshly at anyone that he deemed poor, which was a lot of people. So it was no surprise that everyone was shocked once Bimet asked for a more serious relationship. One where you both would actually put each other first. Not like the previous one where he only talked to you when he needed something, contract-wise. You don’t know why you accepted his request or confession, but a part of you wanted to know him way better than anyone else does. The start of the relationship was awkward. Both of you would talk to each other or hang out with each other as if it were some business meeting. He would talk your ear off about how you could use tricks to make more money and how to see if a product would catch certain audiences. If you learned something by then, it was how to handle things in Hell’s market, but apart from that you didn’t know anything about Bimet. You know that he loves money and how he handles things, but nothing about his favorite food. Or what he does when he isn’t doing money-related stuff. You knew nothing about pets or anything else about him. The business meetings which were masked as ‘dates’ increased to the point that you had to speak up and tell him that you’d rather want to know other things about him. He wasn’t pleased with hearing this, but he did understand that he can’t act as if you were his business partner. He started to do what you asked for, a relationship that went deeper than being business buddies. He would plan out expensive dates which he pays himself, because he knows that you can’t purchase anything that suits his tastes. These dates would range from an expensive dinner to a vacation to some spa resort. He would also amuse you by joining you on the smaller dates you planned yourself. He really didn’t see the appeal in joining you on some ice cream or picnic dates, but he did like to see you happy and comfortable. After some time you felt comfortable enough to stay at his place, though it took a while longer for Bimet to feel comfortable at your place which he described as a “claustrophobic shed”. You were patient with him and allowed him to open up at his pace. Eventually he was comfortable enough to even spend an entire week at your place. You were proud to see him feel comfortable at your place and you were proud to see that he was comfortable with you. He would also sometimes flaunt how you were at his side. The human that came to Hell to help the demons was his and his alone. You felt treasured by him. You felt more loved since you arrived in Hell. It was really funny to you how both you and Bimet started from a relationship that was purely transactional. It now blossomed into one where you trusted each other and where you could depend on each other. You both helped each other out. He was your knight that would save you from the dangers of both Hell and Heaven, while sometimes judging you. You were the more affectionate person in the relationship that made him feel at ease and showed him how being “cheap” is good once in a while. Everything was fine. Until he lost something he deemed more precious than you. That precious thing he lost, that piece of metal that he worshiped for centuries stood above you. It felt embarrassing to know that he would choose some material over an actual living being. You knew that he could be materialistic and you knew that it was something he cherished from the start. You weren’t angry, but you always felt this ‘pang of sadness’ in your chest whenever you see him being so focused and careful with the material. The memories he revisits whenever he has it near him and the look on his face when trying to remember those moments would often make you feel invisible. It was as if the material knew Bimet better than you ever could. And you accepted this thought. You were human after all. You didn’t see him from the very start. It took centuries for you to come into existence and it took another few years to meet him. You couldn’t blame him for cherishing something this deeply. One evening you decided that you needed some fresh air. You told Bimet that you will walk on the main street. The main streets were safer after all. The human world is dangerous and Hell is way more dangerous than earth. He only allows you to walk alone on the main streets. Whenever you want to explore he needed to be there with you. He is strong enough to fight for both of you if danger were to arise. On your walk, you didn’t notice some figure following you leading to you being dragged into an alley where you were robbed, you tried calling Bimet once, only for it to go to voice mail. That’s when you received a punch from the demon that was robbing you. A punch from a human may hurt a lot, but one from an entity that’s stronger than a human was like getting hit by a truck. Your head was struck and you started seeing double. Because of your will to live you tried to run out of the alleyway, but you passed out before you could reach anyone that could help. Bimet was still at his home. He wanted to go and look at his cherished trophy again before waiting for your return, but it wasn’t at its usual spot. Did he misplace it? Did he take it with him?... No, that can’t be. He would know. His mind raced and that’s when he remembers you. Angry he took out his phone and he noticed the one miscall. He decided to call you. Wanting to know where you dared to move his treasure to, but it went to voice mail. He called again and again while turning the house upside down. His anger getting worse by the second. That’s when he got a call from a maid. Telling him that they moved his possession to his safe room since they were doing some maintenance in its previous room. He fired the maid before storming out of the safe room. He entered the room and there it was. His treasure, his cherished trophy. He yet again thought about his past and the good and bad memories. After a while, he left his possession in the safe room. He remembered your miscall and saw that you haven’t replied to his calls yet. “Weird”, he thought as he waited for a call from you. That’s when he saw that Morax was calling him. “A noble that wants to do some business again?”, he thought as he picked up the call. He awaited what Morax had to say as his eyes widened at the news. They found you in an alleyway… Unresponsive? How? Why were you somewhere you weren’t allowed to be in? He didn’t waste any time as he rushed out the doors and towards your location. And there he saw you. In a bed, bandaged and sleeping. He was grateful that you were breathing, but seeing you in this state made him rethink his choices from a few moments ago. He started to feel regretful that he didn’t hear your call. He started feeling bad that he was blaming you for moving his treasure. He waited there for you to awaken. He didn’t care if it took hours, days, or weeks. He’ll wait for you. And that’s what he did. Sitting by your side. Making small conversations that he knew you couldn’t respond to. He did that all while waiting for you to awaken. When you woke up from the deep slumber you were hugged by him. The embrace felt warm and familiar, but you couldn’t remember this man hugging you. You softly pushed him away, resulting in you getting a confused look from him. You opened your mouth and the first words you muttered after your slumber was “… Sorry, but… Who are you?” Bimet gave you a hurtful look as he realized that you forgot him. He didn’t know what to say. What he did know was that this time, it was him that would wait for you to get comfortable. And he knew that this time he actually lost something that he should’ve treasured more from the start. He lost you.

[snarky-magpie]

You are one of the few people who ship prongsfoot and Jegulus. How do you keep that up in the fandom and what is so appealing for you about both Jegulus and Prongsfoot? Elaborate

Hi nonnie, thanks for such an interesting ask (and also thanks for confirming my vague impression that most people choose one or the other ship but rarely both), and I apologize for the incoming wall of text.

How do I keep that up in the fandom��well, tbh, mostly by staying in my corner and not interacting with the fandom all that much. Connecting with people doesn't come naturally to me in general (hello undiagnosed autism), so this is my usual mode of operation anyway. However, Jegulus shippers have been mostly lovely, even though they don't seem to engage much, which I'm guessing is partly because they have so much material to choose from, so it can get kinda overwhelming and impossible to interact with everything and everyone. I did meet a few great people through Jegulus, though, and I treasure those friendships highly. When I tried to interact with the prongsfoot people, I was quickly taught that Jegulus shippers are not welcome. (I mean come on, this is ridiculous, it's just making imaginary people fall in love, it shouldn't be this divisive). It almost soured me on the ship altogether, but I love James and Sirius too much, so I just decided to stick to my lane, quietly write about them, and not get involved in this part of the community. It makes me a little sad, but that's the way things are.

Anyway. Now onto the more fun part, what I find appealing about both of these ships. To me, they're two different sides of the same coin, sort of. I believe I already mentioned this once, but Jegulus has a lot of inherently popular tropes going for it:

Enemies to lovers

Dating/pining in secret

Best friend's brother

Grumpy x sunshine

Sport rivals (quidditch or any other sport in modern AUs)

Second chances (in case Regulus joins the DE and then changes his mind)

Starcrossed lovers (pun intended)

Redemption arc

Tragic endings (if that's your thing)

So despite the characters never interacting in canon, there's a lot to build on and that's what makes the ship so attractive to a lot of readers and writers, myself included. Also, precisely because these two characters never really interacted in canon, we have so much room for interpretation, and almost nothing of it can be called wrong (I mean, it's fic, so it inherently can't be wrong, but still.). If you squint, you can even imagine Jegulus IS canon. Do we know who James dated before Lily? Nope. Him so obnoxiously crushing on a popular girl could very well be overcompensating. So yes, there's a lot to play with.

Prongsfoot, on the other hand, has a lot of basis in canon (I know this doesn't have to matter, but my OCD brain kinda likes it when things align with canon. That doesn't mean I agree or support JKR. She can rot for all I care.) James and Sirius are canonically besties. And not only besties, they're completely unhinged about each other. We only see them interact rather briefly, but it's clear they're devoted to each other. (I particularly love the moment when a girl eyes Sirius hopefully and he completely misses it because he's too busy ogling James.) Sirius is the only one who can make James behave. James is the one Sirius runs to when he needs sanctuary. They created freaking two-way mirrors to communicate when the other was in detention because they're so co-dependent an hour or two without speaking to the other is just too long. I know people argue with "yes, because they're brothers" - excuse me, do you actually have siblings? This is not sibling behavior :D (Also, they're not. Sirius lived with the Potters for about a year when he was 16 before moving out, and that's that.) Tbh, I don't understand why this ship isn't top-tier popular because, in any other fandom, it would be, but here, Wolfstar stole their spotlight, and the rest is history. Probably partly because we don't actually see James and Sirius both alive at the same time. (That's just my guess, though.) Speaking in story tropes, they're the epitome of friends-to-lovers, (possibly bi/gay awakening), soulmates, oblivious idiots. I'm generally a big fan of the friends-to-lovers dynamic, so that's probably what attracts me most to this ship.

So for me, as a writer, it's fun to explore these different facets of the characters—because the James from prongsfoot is not the same James who loves Regulus (although sometimes it's confusing to keep all these headcanons separated in my brain, and they start to influence each other, lol). It's also fun to write the different dynamics, so I don't get bored.

TL;DR: Both ships are great for different reasons, I wish people were more tolerant of other ships (and characters), and I've got a long prongsfoot and jegulus story coming in case you're interested. Cheers, and once again, thanks for the ask.

(PS. this is what happens when someone tells me to elaborate.)

[porchtart]

one summer, when i was about seventeen, there was this ship that i encountered that had exactly two people writing for it, and a handful of pieces of fanart and collages. i had for a couple of years mostly been into ships where there were proper archives being run for them - hundreds and thousands of stories at my fingertips, such an abundance that no matter what kind of story you wanted to read, there was almost certainly at least several oneshots and a couple of multi-chapter fics with upwards of fifty chapters. i was spoiled for choice, largely because the ships i was reading had a lot of source material to work with, even they none of them were canonically romantic/sexual.

that summer when i was seventeen, trawling through fanfiction.net, i was fascinated by the longer story that i found by that one person in this canoe of a fandom, exploring a scenario that i had not considered with the primary ship being between two people that had not spoken to each other, but knew of each other. the way that the relationship blossomed in their fic really grabbed me, and i have a lot of memories of laying on the couch in the living room at my parents' house, reading and rereading this story on my ipod touch. i've always really liked reading about dynamics that are underexplored in the source material, but i think that might have been the first time that i was really gripped by a pairing that wasn't explored at all beyond a handful of people who saw more.

what has always been appealing to me about fanworks is the transformative nature of it - letting your imagination run wild, and yes, thinking about what could be, but also loving something deeply, seeing something deeply. diving into the psyche of characters that are left underutilized, or thinking about how as people we have a profound effect on one another, how loving someone (in all sorts of different ways, not just romantically) can change the way you see the world. for me, my relationship with fiction has always been about trying to understand my relationship with people, trying to learn how to interface with the world outside when all of it felt so alien. there is much to be said about seeing the potential in characters and their relationships, and considering more deeply what you yourself want and need - holding up a mirror to yourself and to your desires through a safe conduit, imagining what could be.

i think since then, i've grown very fond of those sorts of ships, and telling those kinds of stories in fanworks. as i've been writing stuff for terretory, i find myself thinking of that little fandom a lot, how seeing a small and dedicated fanbase moved me. there are other folks writing for terretory (yay!!) and i desperately hope that there will continue to be more, but as far as my contributions to this fandom, i really want to make stories and art that look at the pair of them and what they could be a little differently - which i think will include putting them in a lot of different scenarios to highlight the potential for both characters, and what their dynamic could look like across different circumstances and genres.

open arms is without a doubt my most sentimental work in general and even though it's a very weird story for me to write and i think it has a lot of flaws, i am very proud of it - i hope that other people like it too. it's the longest fanfic i've written (so far) and has been a huge undertaking for me during a very emotionally fraught time this winter, and i think that is a big part of why it is what it is. my life has changed dramatically over the last year and a half, and for the first time in my life, i feel like i can breathe. for the first time in my life, i am healing from wounds that have been slowly draining me for decades. if i were not where i'm at right now, perhaps terry and tory would have been appealing to me, yes - but maybe not in the same way that they are right now. i love their dark parts, the sharper points of their dynamic, the juicy betrayal and terror - but what really appeals to me is seeing these two people who have so much darkness within them and so many horrors and triumphs in common learn to love and appreciate each other on a deeper level. the appeal is what could be.

the way i see it, open arms is my little love letter both to a softer version of two characters with a lot of hard edges that i fully believe they could bring out in one another, and to someone who means the world to me, who has been my primary creative partner for a the last few years, and who has been my dear friend for almost a decade now - someone who i see a lot of both tory and terry in. i hope that someone picks up my weird little story years from now, and that the love and affection that i feel both for axon and for these characters shines through, and that maybe their perspective on art and fanworks shifts just a little bit.

that's all i have to say about it right now, i guess. there's not much of a point to this post, other than to say that to love and to be loved is to be changed.

[junk-thrillz]

cody x ed (looks around rapidly...who said that...i didnt say that...) they both are chasing after other people (their approval, their trust, for their protection [[if not for their protection, their trust, if not always their trust, for their protection]]- isabel and jeff) only to find themselves and one another accidentally and incidentally. Ft. ed poorly drawing out spirits for cody to see. ft have they even interacted in canon dont dont ask me that . watching lightning bugs at night. missing and transformed moms. one who is never truly family, and finds freedom without purpose, one who is stuck with family and looses free will. the true perks/punishment of a small town is that one random guy in your middle school class suddenly becoming the guy you always knew in highschool. color palletes that look cool together. Bye

No no come back, I want to hear more-

AND YOU KNOW WHAT!! It doesn't mattered that they've barely interacted in canon!! The world is our oyster!! They're canonically friends!! I think that's part of why they're so appealing to me as a pair. Like, what's their story? How did they become friends? How do they talk to each other? What do they talk about? It feels right to see them next to each other, or even just in the same scene, but there's so little canon material about them to go off of that I wonder why I get that feeling about them. There's so much left unanswered about their dynamic and I WANT TO KNOW!! I want them to have a moment alone together!!

I think it's easy to forget, sometimes, that Ed has an entire friend group separate from the Activity Club, a group with people who they actually have a lot of chemistry with. Because we have very few scenes in comic where we actually get to see that group in action. But they are!! They are friends!! And I want to see Cody and Ed hang out even if it isn't in a romantic context!! (But also it being in a romantic context would be cool too-)

I already shipped them on account of my belief that their entire friend group has something gay going on, but your ask is making me realize how perfect they are as a thematic pair. I can't help but latch onto the comment you made about their families... how neither Cody nor Ed have probably never been to the other's house, because their situations are both less-than-ideal in wildly different ways. The way Cody and Ed have the potential to understand in each other in a unique way, but also have the potential to miss each other like two ships passing in the night.

I've actually written Cody x Ed fic before. Just for you (and everyone else who ends up seeing this post), I'll post it under a Read More. It was written mere months before the reveal that Cody's heart isn't in his chest, so it's been thoroughly decanonized... but that also makes it funnier to look back on. We really had no idea huh? Anyway, here's some short Cody x Ed.

Cody’s heart beat slower than the others’. Ed knew why. Ed knew why, but they weren’t sure they liked the reason. There was always that fear, that someone like the Cousinhood would come to take Cody away. That Cody’s dad, an example of what a spectral could become, represented what Ed could become. That someday, maybe the Cousinhood would take everyone away. 

Ed sighed, adjusting their legs so that they wouldn’t fall asleep. Strewn out half on top of, half beside Cody, head resting against his chest so that they could hear his slow, rhythmic pulse, Ed had never felt so peaceful and so nervous at the same time.

Cody opened his eyes for a moment, to peer at Ed with stupidly blue eyes. “That can’t be comfortable, with your glasses on like that.”

Ed hummed. Cody was right. It wasn’t. But Ed was in a sort of trance; they didn’t want to stop listening to Cody’s heartbeat. They didn’t want it to peter out, while they weren’t paying attention. It was just too slow.

One of these days, Ed would ask Cody to listen out for their heartbeat, too.

[grayintogreen]

Pinned Post II: Electric Boogaloo

Hi, I'm Chris! I'm updating my pinned post to be more streamlined so here we go.

I liveblog Critical Role every week and tag with "cr spoilers" up until Monday. This tag also gets used for Candela Obscura and any one-shots. Dimension 20 spoilers are labeled “d20 spoilers.”

This is primarily a Critical Role and Dimension 20 blog, but I contain multitudes. You will see a lot of random shit depending on my mood. I’m really into Hazbin Hotel right now, for example, so my blog is kinda inundated in that. Honestly I might as well admit I am also a Hazbin blog at this point. Sorry, women.

I write a lot of fic, which can be found on my AO3 here. I primarily write fic centered on minor/supporting characters. I'm also the author of the life in the margins of redemption and red roses and dead things series- more about these below.

I have a ko-fi if you'd like to give me a tip for any reason.

I am the assistant manager of a convenience store that is part of a large retail chain and if you tell me that you shop there because “Wal-Mart is crooked” I’ll kill you. Mine is worse.

My two big series are as follows:

red roses and dead things (or Roseverse), a canon divergent Hazbin Hotel (goes AU after 1x06) series that deals with working on continuing the story while I wait for new material. It is lore-heavy, Team as Family, and redemption-focused with focus on Huskerdust, Alastor and his deal, Lucifer and his relationship to Heaven and Hell and his family, and Charlie continuing to pursue her dreams. Also contains significant amounts of Helluva Boss because we’re not beholden to copyright here.

life in the margins of redemption (or LitMoR), a For Want of a Nail CR2 Canon Divergent series, is a duology (with additional side stories) that takes the alternate path outlined in the Harvest's Close session notes- Cree rescuing the Nein from the Gentleman's wrath should they betray him- and takes it a step further with Cree reviving Molly on the Glory Run Road and traveling with the Nein in the hopes of finding a way to bring Lucien back. It is extremely Canon Divergent, but does feature CR2 plots under radically different circumstances and with additional characters. It's worldbuilding heavy, character-driven, often dark, but has a guaranteed happy ending. You may heard of it as "that 1.5 million word fanfic series."

It is not canon compliant with TNEOL as I had finished OUADYA before TNEOL came out. While I use some elements from the novel, the backstory presented for Lucien and the Tombtakers in the series is entirely different.

More details, including links to the fics, beneath the cut.

THE MAIN STORIES.

Note that while the series features Fjorester, Beauyasha, and Widomauk as primary ships, it is above all a gen fic that focuses on the platonic relationships even more than the romantic ones. I cannot in good faith rec this fic to you if you HATE any of those ships, but I can say if you're indifferent/just want a plot and platonic relationship focus, this fic will appeal to you.

once upon a damn-you-all. Cree saves Molly on the Glory Run Road, sending the Nein's trajectory off the rails in a story about redemption, change, fate, and team-building. Also Molly having to contend with the Somnovem.

you can't deny high noon. The Nein continue their journey with an additional member- a reluctant, captive Lucien- as they continue to face numerous challenges while enemies lurk in the background. While OUADYA is mostly original plotlines, this fic follows the majority of the major plot beats of canon albeit a bit twisted around and out of order.

THE SIDE STORIES

While not necessary to read in order to understand the main duology, I feel like not reading them causes a loss of impact, as often events/characters from them are referenced in the main narrative and having more perspective on the events adds more oomph. This is an extremely detail-oriented series and barely anything goes in without some thought put into it. For the sake of not overwhelming my audience, I'm only listing the side stories I think are actually important to the overall narrative, but please do read the others if you have the time.

there's something divine in the way screams can sound. The events of OUADYA as seen through the eyes of someone trapped in the Astral Sea- or Lucien's utter breakdown, now with context. Introduces several backstory elements that become super relevant in YCDHN.

as in the painted parlor, ophelia dreams. The story of how Ophelia came to the Run, became a Mardoon, and gave up her son.

all of the dreamers defying convention. A fic that takes place in the two month gap between the two duology stories and bridges the two narratives.

OTHER LINKS

original character guide. A guide to the many original characters featured in the series.

[darkpoisonouslove]

1, 8, 19, 22?

Thanks! I'm just worried about this because I'm so rusty when it comes to the OUAT fandom but let's see.

1. the character everyone gets wrong

You know what? I'm gonna come out and say it - Facilier. The sheer amount of people I saw hemming and hawing about whether or not he was good for Regina because "he's a villain" and "has some hidden agenda" is absolutely appalling. Like, wtf do you mean is he good for her? He's literally the best! He is the only person on the show that's consistently put Regina over himself and his own wants. Like, I know he didn't have a lot of time to mess up but honestly, I don't think that even the writers understood him. He was giving off such strong Rumplestiltskin 2.0 vibes, which is the reason why I think the fandom had this reaction to him, and the writers really kind of went that way when he was even killed by Wish Rumple for wanting the dagger. It was a total waste of a perfectly good, intriguing character, not to mention husband material. Facilier deserved better treatment by everyone. Shadow Queen also deserved better!

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

Oh, god, I have no idea what's common.

Oh... Oh, fuck, now I wish I hadn't thought about this but...

People hating on season 7, usually without even having seen it. I think season 7 is my favorite season. There were plot lines that were unnecessary or got derailed or just didn't go anywhere but there was so much fresh stuff in there as well.

Usually, people don't even want to give it a chance because most of the og cast isn't even in there and I understand that because I hate big changes in my shows as well but the truth is that the writers had no idea what to do with the og cast since around the end of season 3 and they were clearly unwilling to spin a different angle to these characters and they were bringing in a new set of characters every half season. It only made sense to get more new characters and let them stay for a longer time.

Really, Henry, Ella and Lucy are precious, Wish Killian and Alice are one of the best parent-child relationships on the show, Alice and Robin are perfect and I think that Lady Tremaine and Gothel are some of the most ruthless villains of the show. There's a lot of raw emotion and fun twists and even if it doesn't end up being people's favorite, I think they should at least give it a chance.

19. you're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like...

I'm kinda mad that I was into the Cruella x Isaac clusterfuck of a relationship (if it can even be called that). On the one hand, they are not compatible at all. But on the other hand, he is so much of a slimy worm that he somehow manages to match her in horribleness and villainy; he's just on the other side of the spectrum, the pathetic wet cat side. There were clearly feelings. Extremely fucked up feelings. It really is like you're preparing to watch a car crash in slow motion but then you end up being ran over by the car instead, which is a perfect description for them. And that leads me to the fact, that her signature car was actually his first? Oh... oh, I hate the writers for this. Now I'm sold and there's no getting out.

22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

I guess the tension between Regina x Rumple. Now this is kind of the opposite of question #8 in that the majority of the fandom is correct that s6 Golden Queen was a mistake and, frankly, kind of disgusting and I am saying this as someone whose first ship from the show was Golden Queen. Season 6 absolutely ruined everything that I enjoyed about the ship in favor of what? Them having sex? With zero of the actual appeal of their relationship being involved? And they still could have done something good with that! The fact is that Rumple was treating the queen like a puppet for his plans and that's exactly what she was! That's why he created her. But they should have added more about her being more of a mirror reflection of his. I don't want to write a whole analysis of their dynamic here because I was actually saving that for a meta post (as soon as I find the time to work on it) but the truth is that Regina learned all of her weapons, all of her villainy from him. Even her mannerisms. And now that the little remaining good inside her is gone and there's no conscience to hold her back, she could be even more like Rumple. But at the same time, she's a broken reflection of the situation with Baelfire, who was trying to help Rumple only to be abandoned. And Regina discarded the Evil Queen like trash. Also, another good angle here because Regina practically decided that everything she learned from Rumple was useless. They could have shown him be at least a little attached to the queen on merit of that.

But the thing is that the tension between Rumple and Regina comes from her good parts, the ones that remained with Regina after the split. And that tension has been there all along. He had to take every last thing from her in order to force her to cast the Curse, no matter how bitter and evil he'd managed to make her over the years. He had to crush her hope completely until the only thing that could rekindle it was casting the Curse. Which is the exact same situation that he's in - the Curse is his only hope to find his son. And even after that, Regina is still doing better than he is! And he knows that! The best example of that is his line in 2x09 when he says "One day maybe they'll even invite you to dinner". Because she did what he couldn't - put her own feelings aside to do what is best for her child. There is a tiny bit of goodness inside her persisting no matter what he's doing and that is driving him insane because it is a constant source of problems for him. It took him years - decades - to make her cast the Curse, her trust in Henry really slapped him in the face with his failures where his own son was concerned, her interference in getting revenge on Zelena for killing his son, her sacrifice for Henry undoing his happy ending in 4x22, her splitting herself eventually leading to even more issues between him and Belle. And on the other hand, Regina's attachment to him has gotten her in so many problems but, ultimately, his mistakes and schemes are what got her Henry - the biggest happiness in her life (and he almost killed Henry several times but that's the point exactly). Still, after all of that, they both gravitate towards each other and there's this kind of understanding between them because in certain ways they're similar, but there's also resentment because of the ways in which they're different. It makes for an extremely compelling dynamic and people are so quick to brush it off.

make me choose violence with these asks

[bookwyrminspiration]

Okay, actually, all the feminine clothing sucks. They have absolutely no reason to wear so many layers. Why are they wearing leggings all the time? They don’t have air conditioning, presumably the temperature between rooms is consistent. And they spend a bunch of time outdoors. The girls also almost always have a jacket or some sort of over layer on in art? They don’t wear sun glass or veils or anything that darkens their view, which is extremely needed considering their entire society is built around as much light as possible. They wear their hair down. Again, it’s warm everywhere, keratin (because presumably their hair is made of keratin) makes your neck freaking sweaty.

Also, all their clothes are so plain? Why? They presumably have lots of leisure time and enjoy pretty thing, get yet embroidery is minimal? They wear jewels sewn onto their clothes I believe ? Which isn’t practical? They don’t seem to wear anything under layers except a skin layer and maybe a fabric skirt support? Do the jewels not make the fabric warp and sag?

How does anything get washed because they don’t have washing machines, and their formal stuff is ballgowns? Do they wear linen next to their skin to prevent washing? Where is the material for the clothes coming from? How is their clothing woven? How is it dyed? Who sews the clothing? How can you just buy dozens of dresses casually? Why do the dresses fit?

Why are they not wearing as little clothing as possible to get as much sun?

(Sorry for the rambling, nothing about their clothing makes sense)

No no, I like rambles! I think its Like That because the target audience is 8-12, but that doesn't mean it's the best choice. Can you recall any moment when a character wore shorts or had exposed legs at all? All I can think of are Fitz's running shorts that once in Nightfall, and maybe the deleted swimming scene in Neverseen. Like why do they need 100% covered legs 100% of the time, 8-12 years olds also wear shorts and skirts without leggings under them. Sometimes their calves show. Quite frequently actually. It's so odd.

So its not made to match their world, but to fit with our world. Being careful about how they dress 12-16 year olds. To the point that it's unrealistic. Sure, some 12 year old only wear leggings, but a whole society like that?

The feminine' clothing's definitely worse (in my opinion), though I dislike all of it. I could understand it more if it was decorated! Though full disclaimer, that may be more the art itself than what was described in the series; but, to me, it doesn't seem like much of it is too fancy even in canon? Unless you count jewels sewn in as fancy--which it can be! But it's all they do, and there doesn't seem to be any pattern or artistry to it? It's just "jewel encrusted" like what does that MEAN give me MORE

I think the answer to "how is it washed?" "who makes it?" "where do the materials come from?" and all that is probably: the gnomes. The elves really are completely reliant on their species. Except for the dresses fitting, which can be answered with plot convenience.

Realistically, elves lives in all sorts of different climates. I'd expect a range of styles to represent that--or, since they have rapid world wide transit, for their clothing to be very layered/easily added to or subtracted from or altered to suit whatever environment they're going to. Though I do very much like the detail about them wearing little to absorb the light--in that case, I'd fit right in. And I'd also expect that the jewels on their clothing would be more elaborate than just "encrusted", it feels cheap

Overall, I think it's because of the intended audience. Though whether or not their attire appeals to 11 yos I don't know. But the modesty I can understand, even if I think it's taken a step too far (they deserve shorts, skirts and dresses without leggings beneath them goddamnit). it's soft world-building, which is fine, I just prefer rigid worldbuilding. and this particular gripe is exacerbated because the clothing is actively hostile to my personal likes and needs

[spongyllama]

sorry in advance for my rant here lol

But yeah I get it, it's a bit frustrating for me occasionally as a fic author who tends to write longfics about Anakin, near the end of which Palpatine faces a timely and well-earned demise... And absolutely no shade or dislike toward anyone who has commented anything similar to what I'm about to say!! But it always frustrates me a bit when people say, ever since THAT movie came out, something like "we all know you can't kill a Sith that easily so he must still be alive!" or "I don't believe he's dead because he's come back before!". And I totally get it, some people are able to compartmentalize and/or enjoy things I don't and that's great, but it just makes me go a bit urrrgghhhh because I hated THAT movie so much and every shred of disrespect that it showed to its source material and particularly the prequels and ROTJ, and for people to think of that in reference to my fics is like... it's not a big deal, but I cannot lie that it irks me a little bit

(but again absolutely no shade whatsoever to anyone who did comment something like that because I love my commenters and I am grateful for them all even if maybe we don't have the exact same opinions about the direction that Disney Lucasfilm took, those opinions being utterly despising the sheer fact that Star Wars is still being milked and will be milked for the rest of time as long as capitalism exists)

The other frustrating thing is that when I'm talking about Star Wars to someone in real life, they just don't understand why I'm simply not interested in the new Disney shows and movies. I'm pretty out as a nerd to people that get to know me a bit, and like these people absolutely cannot accept that I just...don't want to watch the new Star Wars? I will watch Ahsoka exclusively to see Hayden's beautiful face, and I did watch Kenobi due to a sort of obligation, but like...nothing here appeals to me? I'm into Star Wars for like, 4 characters and the set of circumstances in which they live, and that's...it? I don't care what happens after ROTJ, I don't care what happens in between ROTS and ANH, I didn't even watch Rogue One because I just never needed an explanation as to how Leia got the Death Star plans and I DEFINITELY did not need a Han Solo origin story...

(actually my opposition to Rogue One is because I really, really hate that plastic CGI Carrie Fisher at the end, and even more I hate that they didn't ask her to be involved, used someone else's voice, and did all that while she was still alive. idk it just seemed rude to me and sort of offensive even after decades of people calling her fat and old, which is a load of horseshit because women simply aren't allowed to age and have problems. smh)

okay I'm sorry I don't want to rant forever but yeah long story short in case anyone was wondering, canon for me is the 6 movies, TCW, plus the Utapau Arc which I will die mad about not being included in season 7, and on that note I did really like the Siege of Mandalore arc because IMO they were already drafting it when Lucas was still there and always intended on it being the series finale, and The Phantom Apprentice is probably one of my favorite episodes of the entire show because it's literally about Anakin without him ever being in it and that appeals to me greatly. But I did not like the rest of season 7 and did I mention I'm still mad about Utapau? I'm just afraid that the kids newer to the fandom don't know about it and I won't let it be forgotten

Welcome! This blog is dedicated to the original six Lucas Star Wars films, aka the Real Skywalker saga.

What I consider CANON (aka the complete Lucas saga):

The Prequels x Original Trilogy (+ certain deleted scenes and novelizations)

What I consider EXPANDED UNIVERSE (aka optional supplementary material that is informed solely *by* the Lucas saga):

Lucas-era Clone Wars, including the 2D Tartakovsky series as well as the 3D animated series (2008-2013 seasons ONLY).

Other Lucas-era EU material, including various tie-in novels, comics, concept art, art books, and so on (but only that which aligns with and/or supports the primary canon).

Occasionally, I may reblog the odd bits of 'new canon' I watched prior to distancing myself from Disney's Star Wars (ie Rebels and Rogue One).

**PLEASE NOTE: I do NOT accept Disney's version of Star Wars as canon and regularly share anti-Disney views.