#I wish there was more I would have paid any price for more songs by Brooke

[misslavenderlady]

Listening to Brooke McCarter's song sample list and coming across that one part where he lets out the most sensual moan ever heard

u killed me brooke i'm dead now

[wave2tyun]

make your heart stop | ☆

pairing: yeonjun x reader

genre: friends to lovers, fluff<3

prompts: - “are you jealous?”

- “you’re blushing”

- “stop looking at me like that”

warnings: mentions of alcohol

word count: 1.1k

a/n: comforting kitty anon THIS ONE actually goes out to you!!!!😼😼💖 i don't know if you had a chance to see my silly little mishap- i think my brain was just not working properly in the morning asbdhjab i was looking through my old docs trying to find something when the realisation hit and my face dropped.......😭😭

☆ = repost from my old blog!!

you don’t know how, or when, but late-night karaoke with the tubatu boys somehow became a regular friday thing. ordering unreasonably priced alcohol, sharing food, screaming your lungs out as you sang trot songs together- it was possibly the best activity to shake off all the stress accumulated throughout the week.

the owners already recognised you as regulars; every week, they would make sure to have at least one booth free for the six of you, catering to all your needs. it was heaven- and you could barely bring yourselves to leave.

this time though, you ended up parting ways quite early, the reason being beomgyu drinking one can of beer too much, falling down to his knees whenever he tried to take a step. he insisted on singing to you all one last song, despite stumbling over each and every word he said even in casual speech. soobin and taehyun were the ones to carry him out, shily apologising as they exited through the door. meanwhile, kai took videos of the drunken boy, the joy of teasing him in the morning already bubbling up in his chest. 

yeonjun, however, remained with you and walked you home. he ended up staying over at your place, as neither the singing nor the alcohol were enough to tire you out. turning on the tv, you decided to end the day by watching a movie together, hoping, that at some point, the two of you would doze off.

slumping onto the couch, you searched for the movie you agreed on as yeonjun took care of preparing the caramel popcorn. 

“taehyun killed it tonight” you exclaimed, eyes gleaming as you reminisced the earlier events “like seriously- his voice suits that song even better than the original singer. and that high note at the end? how are his vocal chords even able to do that?”

yeonjun stared at his reflection in the microwave, shifting his focus to the popping sound coming from it rather than your voice. he loved hearing you talk- but now? his left eye was twitching, and he didn’t get why.

a mixture of anger and something he couldn’t quite pinpoint was spreading throughout his chest, starting from the heart, then all the way down to his stomach, creating an almost nauseating feeling. was it jealousy? hm, no. he knew very well himself that his fellow members were great singers, their capabilities were definitely worth praising- he just wished that you’d have paid more attention to the way he, too, sang his heart out in that tiny karaoke room. okay- maybe yeonjun was, indeed, jealous. maybe, just slightly- actually more than slightly, he was quite very jealous. 

yeonjun seemed a bit out of it ever since he returned to the living room with the popcorn bowl, his lips were stuck in a pout even while talking or eating. at first, you didn’t give it much thought, assuming that the exhaustion was beginning to take its toll on him. 

15 minutes further into the movie, he still had that same absent-minded expression on his face, now combined with a frown. it was clear as day that his attention towards the plot had simply perished, eyes preferring to watch his own fingers fidget with the blanket on his lap. 

did you say something out of pocket? it was never your intention to make him feel bad in any way. you backtracked a little bit, thinking about your earlier conversation. you got to your apartment, picked a movie and snacks, then waited for the popcorn to be ready. did you talk about anything else during that time? hm- you scratched your head, trying to concentrate better. then, it was like a lightbulb had been turned on inside your head.

“are you jealous?” you said, almost shouting the question. (how discreet-) the realisation hit you like a truck, and you spoke without thinking. the chances of finding out the truth from him could be close to zero now.

“no” yeonjun was quick to give you the answer you expected. he jolted out of his seat, like a cat taken by surprise. for a second there, he actually wondered whether you were able to hear his thoughts, or whether he had been unknowingly speaking out loud this entire time. 

unconvinced, you continued to stare down at him. that ‘no’ was a pitch higher than his usual voice and it was only adding more to your suspicions “i’m not jealous-” he spoke again in that same tone “y/n, come on- stop looking at me like that” he whined, giving your shoulder a slight push as he sat back down on the couch.

“jun? you sure you’re not jealous?” you inched your face closer to his, yeonjun moving his head back at the same time. he was unaware of his surroundings, too focused on keeping some sort of distance. you cupped his cheeks to stop him from slipping away any further, afraid that, at some point, he would fall off the couch. his cheeks were squishy, and you pinched and stretched them like a kid playing with pizza dough. his constant yearning for your attention was becoming -somehow- fulfilled, and he didn't know how to handle it.

as his heart felt close to jumping out of his chest at any given moment, he placed his hands over yours, muttering a quiet “stop that” before breaking eye contact with you.

“you’re blushing” you chuckled, your fingertips brushed against his soft, reddened cheeks. yeonjun wasn’t one to easily get flustered. he wasn’t a great liar either- not in front of you, at least. 

“you were sitting too close to me- it was suffocating me” he attempted to defend himself.

“oh?” you tilted your head, as you reduced the gap between the two of you once again, a sly smile tugging at the corner of your lips “since when does me sitting close bother you?” his chest was beginning to raise up and down more rapidly underneath you. yeonjun gulped, the audible sound giving away his sheer nervousness. it didn’t bother him- he liked it. in fact, he was more bothered by the fact that he didn’t have the guts all night to just hold you in his arms.

your tongue darted out to wet your lips, taking away all of his focus. he couldn’t take it anymore- it was getting too much, too overwhelming: the scent of your perfume, the warm breath on his face, the rosy lips sitting just a few centimeters away from his. sighing, he gave in, his hand coming to the back of your neck as he closed the gap that kept on tormenting him. your eyelids fluttered shut, taking in the slow rhythm of his kiss, indulging in the way your lips felt against his.

and once he parted away, he admitted, completely out of breath: 

“okay. maybe i was a bit jealous”

taglist: @huekalover3000

[cookeybg]

Gotham Possesses

A cryptid Batfamily AU in which Gotham is the main character and follows its journey to consciousness as it follows its Bat and Birds. Chapters are short and a bit gloomy.

Main Characters: Gotham, Bruce Wayne, Alfred Pennyworth, Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Tim Drake, The Joker (more characters pop up later, will add them then.)

No romantic relationships

Stuff to know: Cryptid Batfamily, grim, Melancholic mood, Angst, (let me know if I should add more tags)

Word Count: 584

[Here's my table of contents]

Chapter 7 - Gotham Transcends

She watched them swarm, at the behest of their white skinned jester whose hair was the same toxic color that painted her sewers. Born in a vat created by the corrupt, from the same poisonous liquid she tasted regularly. Whenever he appeared he stained her soil in the warmth of the living. Her Bat right behind him, protecting her, called him Joker.

And the jester would laugh.

A sound so chaotic, alluring, her attention captivated, ripped away from her Bat. Something in him resonated with the souls that walked her streets, that lived in her buildings, that wished for change. They would gather, hold him up and then recoil. He danced with her Bat unlike any other, fluid and unpredictable. His whispered thoughts, his actions, always directed towards her Bat. The jester needed him, loved him, loved her, wanted her changed. Her shadows played with the soundless song he wove. Enjoying their game.

Nightwing, her oldest bird went too far, in protection of the youngest, in reaction to the second. Her Bat had been gripped by something indescribable. Fear was at the forefront, determination followed closely. Her eldest bird sat hopeless, her youngest shocked. With rhythmic movements her Bat pounded his chest trying to bring him back. Her Bat could not, would not, let the jester die. Like with the others, she gave her Bat what he wanted, a helping hand. She plucked a bit of shadow and when her Bat cracked the Jester’s chest, she slipped in. Disoriented and confused he shot up, clutching at his chest, his laughter echoing, filling her with new sensation.

She had not known. She had been unaware.

She? …I?

I had not known?

The excuse fell flat. Ignorance did not justify the consequences of that night. What would transpire would be devastating. How would I have known that it was not love, what the jester felt.

No.

It was love, but it was twisted. It was obsession but more consuming. It was jealousy, but it was sinister. He wanted my Bat. His full attention and our birds would, have, paid the price.

Later, bound and imprisoned, he spoke to the shadows. He spoke to me in sweet hushed tones. Disappointed that his plan had failed, regretful. I could feel the thrill run through me, from him, when I would inadvertently respond. A flicker here, a subtle movement there. He saw me, followed me with his mismatched eyes and when he could, he would grasp the tether, trying to pull me in. The jester was dangerous and now he was aware, his connection to me, to my Bat.

It was hard resisting, but I would not be swayed. He was not brought back because I wanted him, his life is held within the hands of my Bat. All he had to do was let me know and I would cut the string, let the jester collapse like a marionette. Though he did not know the power he held, though he did not speak to me directly, though I brought him nothing but torment. My Bat still had faith in me. Cared for me.

I settled on him, dark tendrils wrapping around his neck, adoringly watching him work. I watched him fight, watched him run ragged for me. I curled in tighter, burying myself in his back. I smiled at the feeling, a laugh escaping, unheard.

Gotham is me. I am Gotham and the Bat is mine, the jester an after thought.

I had finally, fully, awakened.

This one was difficult to write. I like the Joker as a villain but now he has a bit of Gotham in him, like the robins, and that cannot bode well. Also, why does the last bit sound menacing? This is where the story led me T_T

I'm afraid to follow the path, but I must march on.

[royallyprincesslilly]

Title: Message My Heart {One Shot}

Lewis Hamilton x Famous Reader

Warning: Cursing, Heavy Angst, Some Fluff, PLENTY OF WORDS,

Words: 8.2k

Summary: You are a famous and jaded singer. You’ve closed yourself off from others and even experiences. However, one unexpected comment changes everything.

Note: Let's pretend we all can't recognize or man in .2 seconds from a super pixelated shot of his forehead alone. Let's pretend that we never followed this man a day in our lives. LOL

As always, thank you for reading! I appreciate it!

If you enjoyed this, please, LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG!!!

***NOT Edited/Proofread***

~~~~~~~~

You'd posted this on a whim, as a joke and nothing serious. It was a night you should have been kept away from your socials, a night of heavy drinking, illicit smoke passing your lips, and hours and hours of dancing until your legs were sore and the bottoms of your feet were numb. A night of laughs, tears, anger, and joy. A night all in the hopes of forgetting the loneliness of your existence.

Though you were never alone you always felt it. You were always surrounded by at least 10 people at any given time, always having someone snap your picture, scream your name, begging for an autograph, for you to smile, for you to pose this and that way, for a moment of your time, your voice, your heart, your life.

It was exhausting always being on display like you were 24/7 entertainment and not a person. Everyone believed you belonged to them and hence you had no right to privacy, no right to be human or left alone. Everything was always so intense and fast-paced, so sexualized and impersonal. You guessed it was the price to pay for the life you chose because of the vocal talent you possessed and oftentimes you believed you had no right to complain because you had chosen this, though you had no idea what this really was all those years ago.

You groaned, wrapped your fur blanket around your naked figure then took a heady sip of your mimosa. Then you scrolled through the comments underneath your post. You rolled past comment after comment of men giving you their sexual fantasies which ranged from mild to very depraved. You were beyond shocked that people would actually speak filth like this on social media for the world to see and not feel shame.

As you scrolled, you also noted how most of those sexual fantasies were deleted. That told you that your social media team was on it and doing the job they were paid handsomely for.

Your ringing phone drew your attention and without looking you knew it was your manager. You sighed then answered.

"Yeah."

"What were you thinking posting that? What did you think would happen?"

"I wasn't thinking."

"Damn right you weren't. The ways that statement could be taken."

"It's not like it was meant the way it was taken! Look I am not going to apologize for the depravity and lewdness of most of the male population. I will not take responsibility for that, nor do I deserve you calling me to belittle me about it."

With that, you ended the call. He was on thinner ice than he'd ever been before. You were ready to fire his ass before but now you were past ready. Your anger tried to overtake you but you recited the mantra you'd learned from your Balinese getaway where had a strong spiritual awakening that made you confront just how bad a shape you were in.

It took 7 repetitions but at the end of them, you felt more rooted in your strength. You continued scrolling rolling your eyes at comments that were weird or cringe then your finger hovered over the screen as a particular comment caught your eye.

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: Take you away from everyone who makes those beautiful eyes empty and sad so I can gently caress and love away the pain that shines through wrapped around the lyrics of every slow song you put out that your voice so hauntingly expresses to the world. I would just simply love you for all you are that you hide from the world and all you wish to be that you fear you can never be.

For a very long time, you sat there staring at the words in a complete daze. You sat there so long that you actually forgot to breathe. When your chest burned and your head got light, you gasped filling your lungs. You then read the comment again.

Holy shit, you thought.

Who was this person? So many things raced through your mind. Was this just some random person, some random response? Did they know you? How was everything he said so on point? They'd seen through your eyes. Heard the pain. Slowly you began hyperventilating but quickly you got yourself under control. Who was this?

You clicked their name but found their account on private. You contemplated messaging them but quickly decided against it. It was stupid to do.

So you went about your day fulfilling your obligations and doing everything you normally would. Smiled for the cameras, posed for pictures, signed endless autographs, chatted with fans, kept everything PC, shook hands, and gave the people what they so thought they were owed. Every bit of yourself.

However, as your day progressed and winded down you couldn't stop thinking about the comment, and the more you thought about it, the more your curiosity increased. So by the time you were on your way home for the night, you went back on social and sent a follow request before you chickened out, then closed the app.

Though you tried to forget it, you didn't. So as you ate dinner, watched TV, showered, did a little work then wrote some lyrics you had it in the back of your head. When you checked it you couldn't help but smile as you found your request had been approved. However not much was posted in the way of a face. There were plenty of animal pictures, landscapes, and abstract things but nothing to tell you who this person was.

So with nothing to quell your curiosity, you backed off of their page ready to close the app all together when a red '1' appeared indicating you'd received a message. It took all of 5 seconds for you to open it.

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: Didn't imagine this would be the end of my day when I started it.

You smiled. Hell neither did you.

You: Me neither.

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: To what do I owe the pleasure?

You thought about your possible response. You couldn't just tell the truth...could you? After some minutes you bit the bullet.

You: Why did you comment that?

You watched the three dots appear and disappear 5 times as you anxiously waited for their reply. You imagined all the things they could say, all the ways you'd possibly misread the situation and made a wrong decision. Just when you thought you couldn't take it anymore, came a lengthy response.

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: I was just being honest and some more honesty would be that I've been following you for a long time and been a fan for about the same time and there is something about you. Something ethereal, something poetic and hypnotizing.

You: Ah. Another fan of my looks. Okay. I get it.

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: This has nothing to do with your looks and everything to do with your aura. To be truthful I am convinced you look 1000 times better without the layers of makeup and lashes. It cheapens your beauty. The glow around you has changed over the years. It began beautiful and golden and has morphed into copper, then rust, now it is barely visible and just a shimmery black as if you are a former shell of who you were.

Talk about a stab in the gut. You read their words over and over and thought back to something the Dali said in Bali. It was something similar, something just as profound. A shiver rushed through you producing goosebumps along your flesh.

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: I posted that comment because I saw you and wanted you to know it. I wanted you to know that while the world wants something--everything from you I want nothing but to give something to you.

The tears in your eyes made your lids heavy. You fought the inevitable struggling to keep them at bay.

You: And what's that?

The reply was lightning quick as if he knew you'd ask.

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: Safety and love.

That was it. That was all it took for your bottom lid to give up and release the floodgates. Your tears cascaded down your cheeks and they didn't stop for long minutes that turned into hours until you'd cried yourself to sleep.

~~~~~

-12 Weeks Later-

A stranger's kind words to a random drunken post ended up being a gift from the universe. Every time you talked which was every day now he put you at ease. It was like having the worst case of poison ivy that nothing soothed but that one salve you decided to try on a whim. He was that salve and every time you spoke his effect was one that mystified you.

Your moods improved, intrusive thoughts decreased, and depression staved off. Hell, even your outlook had changed. Once everything was bleak. You saw the worst in everyone and everything. You were Ms. Pessimistic always with the defensive wall because you expected everyone you encountered to be trash. Now, that outlook had changed and because of the chance you were giving him and him not fumbling it was slowly changing your mind about people.

When you asked him what his motives were, he simply said to be your friend because you looked like you needed one of those more than someone to tell you how beautiful you are or break your back. That answer floored you. Never had you had a man who wanted to be your friend as opposed to something else--something more.

So friends was what you became. He became one of your biggest supporters always cheerleading you on through social media. He was the ever-present positivity your negative mind craved. His light and vibe were contagious and soon they'd infiltrated your whole outlook. He even got you into jogging, which you hated. Every morning at the ass crack of dawn you were jogging together sending snapshots of the view you were zipping by, short text messages throughout, and even voice messages.

You often decompressed together either watching a movie, playing against one another on gaming platforms, or just doing the same activities in your own towns. Through it all, you still didn't know what he looked like still didn't know who he really was and though you were curious, you also were afraid to rock the boat.

When your friends found out about him they often badgered you into figuring out who he was. They even offered to do a deep dive investigation on social to figure it out. You knew they could crack the case in a few hours but again the fear told you not to.

"What are you afraid of?"

It was a good question that one of your best friends, Alaana, asked as you sat with both of them in your theater room watching the latest release on Netflix. Twiddling your fingers, you avoided her eyes.

"Do you think he's a perv?"

Your other friend, Takia, gasped as she shot upright. "That he's a catfish?"

"Who is he catfishing as? She doesn't even know who he is let alone if he looks like who he says he is," Alaana pointed out.

"So what is it? Afraid he's butt ugly?"

The two cackled together as if they were the best stand-up comedians alive while you gave them your best unamused expression.

"Just tell us," Alaana whined.

"Rocking the boat."

They stared at you in confusion which made you even more frustrated. With a kiss of your teeth and a sigh you continued.

"Disillusionment. What if finding out who he is or what he looks like rocks the boat and destabilizes everything? What if things change and not for the better? Like I have no idea how this man I know nothing about was able to--"

"Bring back the Y/N before you got famous and jaded?"

The three of you nodded and sat there in silence for a few moments as if giving that silence to your former self as a show of sorrowful recognition.

"He hasn't even done anything. He's just been...there."

"The universe usually brings us what we need at the time we need it. What if he is what you need?"

"I've thought about that the last few weeks. I don't know how but somehow the way I think of him has changed. I daydream about him and get giddy when I think of him. I don't remember this with anyone else and it's weird because I don’t know him in the slightest."

"You like him," Takia accused.

"I don't know him."

"Girl, please. You've been talking to this man every day for the last 3 months. Every day. You know his routine, know his likes, dislikes, and dreams. You know him so just take the next step. Maybe you guys can make things work past friends. His first initial message to you was that he would love away the pain and love all you are that you hide from the world and all you wish to be that you fear you can never be."

Hearing his earliest words spoken made goosebumps skirt across your skin. They still affected you, still made you weak.

"No lie at first I thought it was creepy but seeing how pure and innocent it has turned it doesn't make me cringe anymore. I think at least find out who he is then decide."

"What if he's some normal guy who is like a doctor or teacher?"

"Would that make you think twice?"

"Normal people don't do well in this world. It's hard to understand and adjust to."

"Or maybe he is in this world."

"Making anything work in this world sucks especially if they are already in it."

"Which is the more appealing one?"

Just then your notifications went off. Checking it, you found a new message from him.

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: I'm sorry I'm on a business trip and it has been a crazy day. I'm all yours now. How are you?

You smiled and typed out a reply.

You: No need for sorries. I can't expect to have you all to myself 24/7

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: And why not? It's nothing short of what you deserve.

Lite fluttering butterflies took over your stomach making you burrow deeper into the couch.

You: So are you saying if I want you 24/7 then you're mine?

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: Even if you don’t want me I’m yours.

"Oh my god," Alaana squealed.

Glancing back, you found Alaana peeping over your right shoulder and Takia over your left. Both had literal heart eyes.

"Ask for a picture," Takia badgered.

"Tell him you'll send one too," Alaana backed up.

Shaking your head, you chewed your bottom lip trying to stick to your guns though the curiosity was killing you. Just then, another message came through.

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: Scared you off?

You chewed more intently on your bottom lip as you thought over his words. You weren't scared in the slightest.

You: It takes more than that to scare me.

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: Good to know. So the real question is, could you--would you want me?

Seconds later, an image came through and you sat there dazed staring into the most beautiful pair of brown eyes you'd ever seen.

"Wooooow," Alaana and Takia said in unison.

"That there is a beautiful man," Takia added.

She was right. Though you could only see his eyes you could see that they were kind eyes and kind eyes said a lot about someone. It had been a long time since you'd looked into a pair of kind eyes and now faced with his, you wanted nothing more than to stare into them for the foreseeable future.

"Holy Shit," you exclaimed.

"Right. Girl, I can tell he fine. I can tell these things. You can see it in the nose bridge. That's a nose bridge of a fine piece of man," Alaana said.

"The nose bridge? Come on Lana, I would have said the eyebrows and the lashes. Like, did he go to the lash bar or something? I'm jealous," Takia added.

You heard them but nothing was registering. His eyes held you captivated.

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: Take your time. I'll wait.

And wait he did. Your friends booed you for not answering with a resounding "hell yeah", but you didn't let it phase you. Tucking your phone away, you tried your best to focus on the rest of the movie while ignoring the big elephant trunk sticking out of your phone as if to remind you what was happening in it. You didn't need the reminder. Your mind was already thinking and overthinking the exchange.

By the time your friends had gone to sleep it was almost 2 in the morning and no matter how you tried, sleep evaded you. So with your phone in hand, a bottle of wine in the other you trekked to the pool and set yourself up. It took less than 5 minutes for you to end up back on your messages. 6 hours had gone by since his last message. 6 hours you'd left him on read. 6 hours you'd thought about his words. You pressed the audio record button then sighed.

"Even before you sent that picture...I could and would want you."

Your finger hovered over the send button and it was fear again that stood in your way. So as you did 12 weeks ago, you took a deep breath, closed your eyes, and pressed send. After, you dropped your phone on the lounger, grabbed the bottle of wine, and took a hearty gulp of the sweet red liquid. This brand had a higher alcohol content than most of your whites which meant it would be the best 'no thinking' wine for you. It would make it easy to relax and just exist in the moment. You leaned back and gazed into the sky. You were far enough away from the lights and glitz of the city that you could see the stars and tonight you were glad for it.

Releasing a sigh of contentment, you realized it had been years since you felt this calm. It was easy to get lost in the view which is what you did. By the time your notifications went off again, you'd had half the bottle of wine. It was a voice message.

His normally deep voice was even deeper now. He sounded as if he'd just woken up or was very intoxicated and in the mood for nothing but sin. You pressed your knees together as a sensation you hadn't felt in years washed over you--desire. Who in the fuck was this man to have this power, you wondered incredulously.

"Wow. I honestly didn't expect you to reply. I'm pleasantly surprised."

Smiling you took another mouthful of wine.

"Sorry it took so long."

"It's all good. No need to apologize. I understand you better than you think."

"How exactly? You've never met me."

"I actually did, once. It was in passing and I guess I didn't make an impression so..."

Your eyes bugged as you wracked your brain trying to figure out if you'd seen his eyes before. There was no way you'd forget eyes like those.

"Trying to think over all the people you've met through your life to see if you remember me?"

He sounded amused.

"I was trying to figure out how I could not remember eyes like yours. Since I don't think it's possible I'm going to say you're full of shit."

The recording that came next put the biggest smile on your face and set those butterflies flapping again. His laugh was a thing for masturbation.

"Real talk though."

"So safe to say you're not a teacher or CEO of some major company."

"Ha, no not a teacher. As for a CEO of some major company...that's pretty accurate."

You continued to think over who he could possibly be but nothing was sticking. The only thing that was sticking was more and more curiosity and confusion.

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: As I said before. You'll know when you're ready and when you are ready...really ready for me I will be there.

You stared at his words. They were words he’d sent before. Words he'd patiently abided by. Words he apparently meant. Your heart in your chest purred as of it were blissfully soothed and content. Staring back up at the stars you gaped in wonderment.

"Wow."

~~~~~~~

-4 Weeks Later-

You: I'm ready.

You stared at the message you'd sent 30 minutes ago. You couldn't believe you'd mustered up the courage to send it let alone actually meant it. In the last 16 weeks, there had been more than enough things that were working for him than against him. He was kind, funny, patient, funny, gentle, honest, gracious, spoke of his faith in things in such a way that instilled faith in you. You'd gone from not seeing the point in continuing if emptiness was all that awaited you to wanting the next day to come so you could experience new things through and with him.

Takia asked you a week ago if you'd fallen in love with him and though you were apprehensive to give her any response your heart lurched and thudded even more strongly within your chest. Since then, you'd thought even more about meeting him.

Today you woke with a stronger desire to meet him, touch his skin and see if he smelled how you imagined, like vanilla, cedar, spiced and fragrant musk, an open field of lavender, and lemon thyme and ripe citrus. You just wanted to be in the same room to see if you were romanticizing a stranger for his kind words or if there was really something there.

"You'll be late if we don't leave now," your new manager Iyla said.

Since firing your old manager and having Iyla come in who was always in his shadow because of how obnoxious he was you'd felt better and better about your career. She'd really stepped up in the past few weeks and showed you what you already suspected, that she was good at what she did and was a much better fit for you.

Once you were out of the hotel and in your car on your way to the venue you were set to perform at, you harmonized your new song trying to make sure you had everything right. It was partly because of how much of a perfectionist you were but also to distract yourself from the silence on his end from your message.

You tried not to think that he'd seen it and left you on read or that he was not on the same page as you anymore or that he'd changed his mind about you. There were so many thoughts and possibilities running through your head that work was the only way to quiet them.

20 minutes later you arrived at the Versace show where you were going to perform. This would be a first where live music was used for the models to walk the runway rather than backtrack. When Donatella had approached you with the idea you leaped at the chance. Half of your closet was filled with Versace so there was no way you'd pass this up.

"This is so iconic," Iyla said as she readjusted your altered vintage Versace dress. The material fit you like a glove and accentuated all your striking features.

"You will be the first ever to perform at a Versace show, hell any show that isn't the VS shows. You are about to break into another layer of this atmosphere, forget the stratosphere," Iyla said with a wide smile.

There was something about her that always made you comfortable. Her vibe always gave off excited and caring big sister and you loved that.

"Are you nervous?"

You wiggled your hand to show her how in the middle of the fence you were.

"Don't be. You look amazing and we already know your voice is sublime. Talk about an Indica trip."

You smiled already feeling calmer. As you walked the black and gold carpet you smiled for the cameras and did a few interviews. Overall everyone was looking forward to the performance and the show. Across the way, you heard a commotion. The photographers went into a tizzy and fans that were mingled together across the street looking on screamed. It sounded like a K-pop concert instead of a fashion show. People loved fashion but they didn't get this crazy for it.

Carning your neck you tried to see what the fuss was all about and instead saw fans losing their ever-loving shit.

"Oh my god, it's Lewis Hamilton," one screamed.

You'd heard the name plenty of times but you'd never paid much attention. All you knew was he was British and did some kind of sport. You watched on as he stepped up on the carpet and posed in his all-black outfit. You watched on for a few moments curious as to what all the hype was. He was too far away for you to make out much of his features but from what you could make out, you had to admit he was attractive.

Though you felt Iyla tapping you to tell you it was time to move you couldn't. There was something about him that was so captivating. Alas, you had a performance to kill. You turned and saw Donatella approaching you with a huge smile.

"You look even better than I thought you would."

"That's kind. Thank you but I am only the vessel for this beautiful piece of art you've created."

The photographers screamed for you both to pose so they could get the shot and that is what you did for almost a full 10 minutes. No amount was good enough for them, they wanted more and more and more.

"Ah, Lewis. Come, come, come. Join us!”

You spun and found the same man from a few minutes ago approaching. His smile was wide as he looked at Donatella but when they shifted to you his smile slipped. At the sight of that for some reason, your belly sank. Did he know of you and didn't like you?

As quickly as the smile disappeared it appeared again. He embraced Donatella kissing both her cheeks as he exchanged pleasantries. You caught a whiff of a scent that couldn't be cologne. It had to be him. It was strong but not in an overpowering way. Though he didn't stand too close to you, you could catch notes of spiced wood, and rich floral undertones that smelled as if fragrant flowers had been gently smoked over a fire to unlock their deeper fragrance. He smelled good--mouthwatering even.

Donatella turned to you, "Do you know Y/N? Have you met?"

Your eyes met and instantly the feeling of familiarity washed over you.

"Uh--,” you began.

"No, I've never had the pleasure, Lewis said holding out his hand for yours.

You placed it in his palm and felt the familiarity shake you again in the form of a sharp but almost comforting jolt. Neither of you budged though.

"Are you sure? I swear I feel like I've seen..."

"Trust me if I had ever been properly introduced to you, I'd remember."

His eyes held you locked in place. There was something familiar about them but you knew you'd never met him before. He was right. You were sure you'd remember eyes like his. Lewis suddenly dropped your hand, then slipped to the other side of Donatella to take part in the photos. Then like a thief in the night he was gone. Who was that you thought to yourself.

As showtime approached, you tried to forget the strange encounter and the way your body came alive from his scent. The more you tried to forget the more you focused on it but instead of thinking of the man you'd just met you kept thinking about the one you'd been talking to for the last several months.

A notification came up, sending you to your DMs.

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: Ready for what exactly?

Seeing his message your belly fluttered. It truly had been a while since you'd had a reaction like this to anyone.

You: You know what. Ask me again.

30 seconds ticked by, then a minute, and the whole time you tried not to chew your lip. When another message came in, again your belly flipped.

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: Do you want me?

Seeing the rephrased question instantaneously brought up your anxiety. It was direct on purpose because he wanted an intentional answer. Not a possible or hypothetical one. Oh, you thought. This man was different from any other little boy you'd encountered and every fiber of your being said take a chance.

Unable to resist, you bit down on your bottom lip and chewed forgetting all about your plum-painted lips, and prepared to type your reply but before you could get a letter down Iyla called your name telling you it was showtime.

5 minutes later, you were backstage waiting for your cue. You would be the first to walk out and down the runway as if you were one of the models. You'd then take your seat and begin. You should have been nervous about it but you weren't, you were more nervous about the message you were about to send.

A few of the models gave you hugs and thumbs up for support just before the stage manager gave you a nod for you to go. Once you stepped through the threshold, you took note of just how many people were there. The creative director had done amazingly on the set and ambiance. The large pool in the center of the runway space really was a vibe. The audience instantly erupted in applause as you stuck your beginning pose for dramatic effect.

What a dream you thought as you took your first step down the sleek white platformed runway. There were plenty of little girls who dreamed of this moment and here you were living it. It had been a while since you were open enough to feel gratitude but here and now you felt it in full force. Another thing to credit the man who still hadn't revealed his name for.

As you walked you noted the plethora of celebrities that sat around the runway at their posh-looking garden tables watching every move you made. You saw singers, actors, models, and even athletes from varying fame levels. On your turn, you saw Dwayne Wade who was seated next to Lewis Hamilton. Both men gave you an appreciative and polite head nod as you passed. When you got to the end of the "U" shaped runway you stopped and the audience again applauded you.

Once you were seated behind the piano, you adjusted your microphone and got ready to get down to business. As the first chords of the piano played for the intro you fully gave yourself to the track. A few lines in and the models began walking showing off the art that had taken months to prepare.

The song you'd chosen tonight was new. It was something that had come to you since you'd begun your interactions in your DMs. It was softer than the songs from your last album which was quite heavy. The lyrics were flirtatious, the melody fun and soothing but it was still somehow all you.

20 minutes later you'd sang 4 new songs and was in the middle of a piano solo that would close out the show. When Donatella stepped out after the model precession went by, you added some flair to the solo giving Beethoven and Bach a run for their money. The audience clapped and whistled as you showcased your musical abilities, abilities that had gotten you your current fame and status. Upon the grand finale, you hit the perfect ending chords making Donatella laugh.

The two of you walked on either side of the line of models toward the center of the "U" shaped runway to meet and join hands. She gestured to you making the audience applaud and cheer. You did a dainty curtsy then motioned to Donatella and cheered loudly which promoted those around you to do the same. You stood there allowing the photographers to take pictures for a few moments. When you glanced down you realized you were standing directly in front of Lewis whose eyes were glued to you. The smile on his lips was soft and the look on his face was endearing. You wanted to ask why but you shook it off.

2 hours later after endless pictures, interviews, autographs, and tens of flirtatious men trying to either get your number, get you to give them your number, or convince you to leave with them for the night; you finally had time to yourself. You finished your glass of champagne, leaned on one of the 9-foot tall hedges, and scrolled through your phone.

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: Your voice is still haunting and amazingly beautiful, but your eyes are no longer sad and empty. God, you are gorgeous like this.

Smiling, you took a deep breath.

You: I want you.

You were sure of that now.

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: Are you sure?

You: Yes. I've spent the night having CEOs, oil tycoons, actors, models, athletes, artists, and men from every other profession you can think of flirt with me, attempt to spend the night with me, and try to create some sort of connection only to fail miserably because all I can think of is you and the fact you haven't once flirted with me or tried to convince me to spend the night with you.

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: I didn't know you wanted me to.

You: I didn't either. Now I do. I want you to. I want you to do all of that.

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: What if I don't want to convince you to spend the night with me? Spending the night with you is the least of what I want to do with you.

You: What do you want?

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: I want your days. I want your afternoons. I want your trust. I want your honesty. I want your vulnerability. I want your mind. I want your heart.

Once again he'd stolen your breath.

You: And what do I get in return?

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: I will give you smiles. I will give you laughter. I will give you joy. I will give you honesty. I will give you my days. I will give you my afternoons, my nights. I will give you my loyalty. I will give you trust. I will give you vulnerability. I will give you my mind, my heart, and only when you are sure you can match me I will give you my body and all the passion and fire you can stand.

Wow, you thought.

You: I'm in Cannes for a few days. I fly out the day after tomorrow. How can we meet?

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: Depends. How badly do you want it?

You: I'm not thirsty or anything but a hard 9.

A voice message came through of him laughing. Then another.

"I'm glad you can hide your thirst but I won't. Not anymore. I'm at 100."

It was your turn to send a voice message of you laughing.

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: Glad you find my suffering funny. I'm currently in Cannes too. If you trust me enough we can meet tonight.

Your brows rose. He was in Cannes too? What a coincidence.

You: Tonight then.

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: Tonight.

You felt all sorts of giddy now. It overshadowed the nervousness that was trying to overtake you. Fifteen minutes later, as you left the fashion show venue, another message came through.

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: Vieux Port, 12. Tell this to your driver and they will know where to go.

You smiled then attached a photo of yourself from the night and sent it.

You: Me now so you don't miss me

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: Jeez. You're beautiful Y/N.

You: It is a bit unfair that I still don’t know your name.

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: You'll know when you see me.

You dropped Iyla off at the hotel with an excuse of wanting to sightsee then you took the drive to the port. On the way you texted her the location you would be in case you bumped into trouble. With the window down, you relaxed into the scents of Cannes. Baked goods, salty sea air, citrus, and sand. It all smelled wonderful. You'd been here tens of times before but this was the first time you'd taken time for yourself to mellow out. You were in a completely different headspace than you were on previous trips and it felt so freeing.

15 minutes later, your driver pulled up to find 2 people, a man, and a woman, already waiting there. Your phone vibrated with a notification.

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: I sent Verona and Linus to escort you. They are waiting at the port. I promise you're safe.

Another message came with 2 pictures and vouching credentials. Sighing, you relaxed again. He had thought of everything. As you approached the two they smiled.

"Verona? Linus?"

"Yes. Ms. Y/L/N?”

"Yes."

"Wonderful. Please follow us we will take you to the vessel," Verona said.

As you walked behind them you couldn't help but wonder what vessel and how he'd pulled all this together in less than an hour. Who was he exactly? It took all of 3 minutes until Linus and Verona both stopped in front of a lavish yacht that looked like it was at least 3 stories.

"Whoa."

"Ms. Y/L/N, after you," Linus said with an outstretched arm pointing to the boarding plank ahead.

You stood there for several moments thinking about things again. Were you really going to get on this yacht with someone you’d never met before? Were you really going to be this trusting?

Blessedbeyondmeasure44: I had Verona and Linus provide your driver with the details of this yacht before he left. I've told him to give it to your manager so they know where you will be and how to contact authorities if you aren't returned safely. I’ve also asked them to check in with you every 30 minutes using a code word they choose. I don't want you afraid of me Y/N. If you are afraid I won't think anything of you turning around and we can try this another way, a more public way with your manager present. Whatever you're comfortable with.

You didn't know if it was game or not but his words calmed you. Maybe it wasn't his words and the fact that he thought ahead and provided these securities for you to feel safer. A call from Iyla came through then.

"OMG, Y/N. Wow. I have so many questions and I want all the details later but your code word is Calamari. I will call every 30 minutes."

She sounded excited and you had no idea why.

"Got it."

Just like that, she ended the call. Why was she so excited? You wondered if she knew something you didn't as you put your phone in your bag. With a breath, you crossed the plank and allowed a man dressed similarly to Linus and Verona to lift you onto the yacht.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. He is waiting on the top deck. Follow this hallway to the steps at the end and up you go," Verona instructed.

With a nod, you were off. As you walked you noted just how luxurious the yacht truly was. Did he own this? If he did he was possibly in or close to your tax bracket. You weren't sure if you should be happy about it or leery. If he was in your tax bracket it could mean he was a celebrity as well. At that thought you paused on the 4th step on the stairs.

You thought about celebs that you'd tried to get to know or date and cringed. All of them were slightly weird with quirks you couldn't handle on top of your schedule and responsibilities. A celebrity relationship took a lot and you didn't know if you could give any of it.

"You're getting ahead of yourself, Y/N."

You took a breath and continued. When you reached the top of the stairs your jaw dropped. There were candles and flowers everywhere. Slowly you looked around and realized they weren't just any flowers, they were your favorite flowers.

"Oh my god," you whispered.

With a step forward you took in your 360 view and you knew that no matter who he was you wanted to try for him. As you looked behind you, you walked backward distracted by the beauty surrounding you. He'd somehow managed all of this in under an hour. Somehow he'd filled the entire top deck with all your favorite things. Your favorite flowers were covering every surface of the floor. Your favorite scented candles were lit and their scent wafting in the air. Your favorite snacks and treats lining the railing on the left. Your favorite fruit lining the right railing.

"He's really been paying attention," you softly said.

"Of course I pay attention. You're important to me."

You stumbled to a stop but kept your back to the voice. You recognized his voice. You recognized it from your messages and even tonight. Suddenly, everything swirled in your mind as it slowly came together.

Hi, Y/N."

You took a deep breath and turned. Your jaw dropped while everything fell into place as you looked into eyes you'd seen before this moment. They were eyes you'd looking into mere hours ago.

"I'm Lewis."

He smiled and your heart skipped a beat but words escaped you. He didn't speak again, he waited with his hands clasped behind his back. He wore the same full black outfit from earlier but he looked even better in it now with the candles and flowers as his backdrop.

"I--you--oh my god. You're--”, you began.

"Blessedbeyondmeasure44? Yes, I am."

The silence stretched for a long moment before you snorted.

"Bullshit."

Lewis chortled in return then let out a chuckle.

"I've said it before but God I love that you have no censor and say the first thing that comes to your mind."

Your eyes bugged. He had said that before.

"No. You're not."

Lewis smiled and took a few more steps to you, "How can I prove it to you?"

"Prove?"

You wracked your brain trying to make sense of this and come up with a way he could make you believe this.

"What was the first thing I said to you in DMs?"

Without hesitation, Lewis spoke, "After you sent a follow request I said I didn't expect that this was how my day would end and you said me neither."

You raised a brow. "What was the last thing we did together?

"We went to the beach. You went to Crystal Cove in Laguna Beach and I went to La Concha because I was in Spain at the time. You sent me a beautiful picture of a cave and said it was one of your secret spots. It was called--.”

"Dana's Point," you finished as he proved his point.

"I can show you the messages, and our pictures including the one you sent earlier so I wouldn’t miss you. I wouldn't miss you though Y/N. You stand out no matter what."

He took another step to you leaving only a few inches between you. He reached out and took your hands.

"I have missed you though. I've missed you in so many moments that I wished you were with me, so many experiences I wished I had with you. I missed you every time a message of yours came in. I even missed you in my dreams."

You lifted your hand and cupped his cheek while staring into his eyes.

"I knew I saw those eyes before. I felt it."

Lewis smiled. "I'm sorry. I didn't want to do this in front of those cameras and the crowd. I'm sorry I wasn't 100% truthful."

You smirked.

"Your message."

Lewis cupped your cheek in return. "Your voice is still haunting and amazingly beautiful, but your eyes--," he paused then cupped your other cheek. Using his thumbs, he softly slid them across your cheekbones. "Your eyes are no longer sad and empty. God, you are gorgeous like this."

Tears welled your eyes and you scoffed.

"Now you flirt with me."

A chuckle fell from his lips and if you hadn't fallen for him before you definitely had now. You hung your head and shook it.

"I am so stupid. This whole time."

"You're not."

"You're Lewis Hamilton. I am sure any other woman would have recognized those eyes. I had no clue. Hell, I don’t know the first thing about you, not really. Yeah, you're a racer but other than that..." you shrugged.

Lewis lifted your head his hands now cupping your skull. It put you on high alert at just how large his hands were. "Hey, love that you had no clue. I love that you don't know me. It was refreshing. I loved these last few months of you knowing me and me knowing you without the extra stuff."

"We know the extra stuff now. Oh my god, from the ruckus on the carpet of the Versace show you're a huge celebrity. How in the world---."

Before you could continue your freak-out Lewis' lips were on yours. It was like you’d stuck your finger in an electrical socket. Your entire body came to life as if his touch was life itself. His soft lips slowly pressed against yours before he opened them enough to take your top lip between his. From there all thought escaped you.

When one of his hands slipped around your waist you moaned unexpectedly. Where had that come from? Your body had no trouble following along. You pressed yourself closer to him relishing the tingles that skirted across your lips and everywhere he touched. Just as you were going to sink your fingers into his braids, Lewis pulled away keeping his forehead to yours.

"Do you want me?"

His voice was low and deep and it wrapped around you pulling you closer to him.

"I-I don’t see how I can have you."

Again Lewis kissed you. This time he delved his tongue into your mouth wrapping it around yours, teasing you to open more for him. When you did it was because you moaned. He took advantage of that opening and kissed you in a way that said he was not letting you go. His moan melded with yours and you felt his other hand tighten as he held your skull. Tearing his lips away, he panted as harshly as you were.

"Do you--want--me? Because I want you Y/N. I want you even knowing the obstacles in our way. I want you more than I have wanted anything in a long time. I want you in ways that surprise me and make me year all at once. I'm not saying this will be a walk through the park. I'm saying I want to walk together with you from this night on. Do you want me too?"

He had to be kidding. Who in their right mind would say no after that? You snorted then laced your fingers together behind his neck thrusting yourself flush against him.

"I want you more than anything. I want you in my life. I want to really run with you though I hate it. I want to go to beaches together and have movie nights truly together. I want to see the same sunrise and sunsets you see. I want to touch your skin like this whenever I want instead of thinking about it. I want to smell you every day. Yes, Lewis. I want you too."

The look in his eyes held you in place as did the tightness of his arms that were now wrapped around your waist holding you possessively against him.

"I can't wait to give you the world Y/N," Lewis said in such a way you knew he meant every word.

"I don't need the world, nor do I want it. I just want you."

His smile was the cutest thing and you knew you'd never get tired of it.

"You have me. Next up...the world."

You smiled then giggled when he lifted you in the air and spun you around. You laughed louder loving the way the sound came from the very depths of you and how authentic it felt. When he put you down you were at the railing looking out to the ocean.

"Started from a DM now we here," Lewis said making you snort.

"Started from a DM soon the whole world will fuckin hear bout it."

Lewis threw his hands up.

"Ayyyy!”

You laughed loudly and soon he joined in. When he wrapped his arms around you again he gazed into your eyes but said no words. Slowly both of you moved closer until your lips softly touched. Neither of you moved. You took the time to savor the feel of your skin connecting in a way your minds and souls already had. A way that he had retaught you, a way that he so patiently and diligently worked for and it all started when he messaged your heart.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[madaboutmunson]

Ok because the other two little fics were so well liked my brain could stop thinking about it.

So we've got how the song in question was written, the song when Corroded Coffin make it big, so consider this one the last time that song is ever played live by Corroded Coffin.

It starts with a little shocker so I've hidden the story under a read more so people don't accidently read it, in case it upsets anyone, but trust me when I say it's not all doom and gloom 😉 I got you 💚

The day the news of music legend Eddie Munson passing breaks, it plunged the world into deep, dark despair. A shocking departure that stopped newsreaders in their tracks to announce it.

The bombshell news was plastered everywhere for weeks, billboards, posters, newspapers, magazines, murals, tv show opening monologues, and this thing slowly emerging, the internet, had its forums full of theories as to what had happened, as no announcement had come from the Corroded Coffin camp as yet.

There was no sign of illness or injury. No accident or crime details. He seemed to have just...died.

The outpourings of condolences from countless heavy metal icons, hundreds of celebrities, some of which you would never have even guessed, liked Corroded Coffin, millions of fans worldwide held candle-lit vigils and sang their songs sombrely acapella in meeting places all around the world.

A week later, the band finally released a written statement.

"It was during the hellish times of high school that Eddie found us, protected us, guided us and forged this band of brothers that would go on to conquer not just our fears but the entire world. Impossible dreams came true countless times over, but now we sit in a waking nightmare at the loss of our leader, so now our time must come to an end.

A band is a sum of its parts, and with any one of us gone, this is simply not Corroded Coffin anymore. So it is with the deepest sadness but no regrets we have to say goodnight to you one last time.

Thank you for sticking by us all these years.

Remember to look out for one another.

HFC 4 Eva

The Remains of Corroded Coffin"

With the statement is an announcement that there will be a tribute show organised by Corroded Coffin, but they declined to play all but one song, which a special guest on guitar.

A month later, the tribute show goes ahead, but no stadium can hold it due to demand, mainly because the band had to fulfil Eddie's final wishes.

One of which was causing the most problems, Eddie wanted every member of the Corroded Coffin fan club to get the first refusal on a space at the tribute show. So no matter where in the world they were from, they were invited and their travel expenses paid, or something set up so they could join the live feed.

Eddie had jokingly set up the fan club at a merch table in the early days. It got you a Corroded Coffin badge, a hand-painted d20, a poster, access to a monthly newsletter/comic and a hand-drawn membership card signed on the back by the band, all for the price of five dollars. As the band grew, the fan club pack stayed the same, except the merch was better quality, it had to be mass-produced, and the price was lowered to one dollar.

The band also often had membership cards on their person or gave them out for free to fans that wanted them through their music charity for kids living in low-income areas.

So as you can imagine, there were thousands of potential attendees, but if you didn't have the card, you weren't getting in, no matter how much money you had or how famous you were.

The crowd is a sea of Corroded Coffin fans of all ages and all walks of life.

The first people out on stage are Corroded Coffin.

All of them.

The three band members wheel out an enormous coffin encased in rusted metal sheets with haphazardly driven rivets to keep it together, standing up tall, onto a platform at the back of the stage. They do this in absolute silence. The crowd is so hushed that on the recording, you can hear the ting of someone dropping a can.

Then the chants start, "Eddie! Eddie! Eddie! Eddie!" Hauntingly fierce like an army ready for battle, they know they can't win.

It spreads across the ocean of fans like a ripple of deafening voices.

Then the concert begins. Not only is the lineup littered with some of the most famous musical artists in the world, but also many of Eddie's favourite bands, and to introduce each of them is a celebrity pairing.

Nancy Wheeler and Robin Buckley. Prize-winning journalist and film director, respectively.

Tech Whiz Kids Dustin Henderson and Erica Sinclair.

Internet entrepreneur duo Jargyle.

Jim Hopper and Joyce Byers. Heads of a missing children's charity.

Award-winning scientists Mike and Will Byler.

Novelist Lucas Sinclair and Skateboarding legend Mad Max.

Then lastly, a fan favourite, Eddie's Uncle Wayne. He had made a cameo appearance in every video they had ever made, was on every concert video and was always thanked in the album notes.

"It is my greatest honour that the boys chose me to introduce the last performance of the evening. I know this song was his favourite, and many of yours also. So without further ado...Sadly, for the final time, Ladies and Gentleman, I give you Corroded Coffin," he shouts finally over the crowd's roar as flames shoot out of the sides of the coffin on stage, and the three remaining members walk out.

They say nothing and launch into the heaviest song Corroded Coffin ever wrote.

A lead guitar joins in but with no guitarist to be seen.

As the song draws to a close, a man walks out in a denim battle vest a little too snug for him, his hair voluminous but dishevelled. He's holding the prop guitar.

He swings it around, smashing it into the floor behind him, and with an almighty swing back in front of him, the guitar must know this is its last show because the body splits in two. The man rips the neck of the guitar out of the body and holds it above his head. The fake blood spills out of his mouth, and the tears flood down his face as he punches the air in time with the Eddie chants before he blows a kiss at the crowd and then one at the coffin.

There is a curtain call for all involved as pyros and flames fill the air around the stage until the last fan leaves the area. Then the curtain finally drops.

Everyone heads backstage or to the trailers behind it for food and drinks. 

All except one person. Steve Harrington.

He looks around to ensure the coast is clear, approaches the giant coffin structure, and puts his hand on it, still warm from the flames.

"I never did find the right time to tell you this, and it looks like I'm too late." The tears prick his eyes again, and the first one that escapes down his cheek causes the rest to follow in droves. 

His sobs are so loud he covers his mouth to quiet them for fear of anyone overhearing, "I love you, Eddie. I just didn't know how to say it, I-I d-didn't know if you felt the same, so I'd act like I didn't care and hoped you'd make the first move, but you didn't. And then you got famous, and were gone. I saw you a handful of times, and every time I wanted to tell you, something got in the way, or I chickened out, you know, because...well, because maybe you'd reject me and hate me or worse, you'd want what I did, and the press would eat you for breakfast. It would have ruined everything you built, and I couldn't handle that." 

He runs his hands through his hair, bows his head, and presses his forehead against the warm sheet metal. "I couldn't take that chance because I loved you so much, so very very much, Eddie." He plants a kiss on his fingertips and presses it against the name plaque on the coffin. He lets out a final guttural sob. "See you on the other side, Munson", he manages finally and walks away.

He takes a last look back over his shoulder as he wipes the tears from his eyes, and Steve swears he sees the thing move.

He shakes his head and takes a few more steps, he can hear Eddie cursing under his breath in his mind, and it makes him smile.

But then Steve freezes to the spot because there is a loud clang behind him. He doesn't want to turn around and fix Eddie's coffin, but who else is going to do it, right?

"Well, that was suffocating!" Eddies voice rings in Steve's head.

Steve steels himself and prepares to see the worst as he turns back towards the coffin, only to find the front of it completely off its hinges, and standing draped in his guitar, with crumbs in his hair and hat with two beer cans in with straws, is one, very alive Eddie Munson.

Steve cannot move. He mutters, "Oh god, I've finally lost it."

Eddie looks at Steve with a perplexed look on his face, "Ah, yeah, you have" he puts his hands on his hips, "Keeping a secret like that from me for like a decade. First of all, how fucking dare you wait until I end everything to tell me, and secondly, get over here, you big stud, and give me some well overdue sugar."

"What...the...fuck..." Steve fearfully whispers to himself, "I'm actually insane."

"Eddie!!" Dustin's excited voice rings out behind Steve as he charges forward, embracing him.

"Hey, watch my guitar, you little shrimp!" Eddie giggles and Ruffles Dustin's hair.

"Wait a second now," Steve says, finger pointed out in front of him, slowly stepping forward, "You can see him?"

Now it's Dustin's turn to look confused at Steve. He scoffs out a laugh, "Well, of course, I can! Are you feeling ok, Steve?"

"But...but...but he died...again...is he like... immortal, or something. Like a-a vamp.. vampire?" Steve tries gingerly, moving closer, one hand still stretched out in front of him like he's trying to ward off something evil.

Dustin and Eddie look at one another in confusion and start laughing.

"Steve, have you sampled some of the special backstage treats?" Eddie asks and turns back to Dustin, "I mean, that might explain why he also just confessed he's had a massive boner about me for over a decade!"

"Really?" Dustin says curiously, and Eddie nods as he takes off his guitar. "Wow."

Then the others start piling onto the stage, all of Eddie's nearest and dearest, and all of them are smiling and laughing and joking, except for Steve, who is watching this happen around him until he erupts.

"How can you all be so god damn normal about this??!!!!! He's just come back from the dead. Not like last time when he passed out. He's been dead for like a fucking month, and your all just-just fucking OK WITH THAT??!!" Steve is yelling at the top of his lungs, hands gesticulating wildly at them all, still keeping his distance, and the group falls silent.

"Oh, no, honey," Joyce says soothingly, walking towards Steve. "It's ok, it must be really scary to see this kind of thing, but you remember, right? It's all just for show." She turns and whispers to Hopper, "I knew all those bumps to the head needed looking at."

"FOR SHOW?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN FOR SHOW?! IT WAS EVERY-FUCKING-WHERE" Steve starts counting on his fingers, "It-it was on the news, and-and in all the papers, and-and the fans did all those vigils" He points accusingly at the band, "You were at least three of those!!"

Robin's eyes go wide "Steve, it's me, Robin. Hi!" She approaches him slowly, "I'm real. We're all real here. Everything is ok" Once Robin is within arms distance of Steve, he pokes at her and squeezes her arm to make sure she is, in fact, real, "OW!! Jesus!!!"

She bats Steve's hands away, "Ok, enough. Listen, did you open the fan club mail this month?"

"The fan cl-? What the hell are you talking about?? Is this a nightmare? Am I dead??!! Is this Hell??!!!" Steve shouts into the air.

"In this month's fanzine, it explained everything. The band wanted to stop and spend time with their families and start new projects, but the press was getting to a fever pitch with them. Gareth had his bins rifled through. Jeff couldn't even take his kid out for his birthday without getting hounded. So Eddie came up with this plan. That way, no one gets blamed for breaking up the band. It just is no more." Robin explains compassionately to Steve.

"So the whole crowd, all of you and the bands, they all knew it was fake?" Steve asks quietly whilst everyone is still staring at him and Robin.

Robin nods but then adds, "Well, not the other bands. We couldn't risk it, but we and the fans are loyal enough to keep a secret. Plus, if anyone even tries to say they've seen him, they'll be labelled like those Bigfoot-spotting people."

Steve shakes his head, "But I'm not a member of the fan club?!"

"The absolute audacity!!! What, you fucking love me, but you're not a member of my band's fan club? What kind of half-assed groupie are you?" Eddie shouts, astounded and a little insulted at Steve.

Jeff turns to Eddie, "You knew he wasn't, man. You made him that special membership card at the hideout for valentine's day, but you never gave it to him, remember?"

"Shut up!" Eddie says through gritted teeth at Jeff.

Steve stands more confidently, his hands on his hips, "Oh, is that so?"

"Yeah, that's right", Gareth laughs, "And then when we were talking about this, you said you'd call him and tell him yourself, Eddie, remember?"

Eddie bites his bottom lip and tries to look as innocent as he can from under his hair, smirking over at Steve, "Did I say that? Really? Funny thing that... I don't remember"

Steve's eyes go wide, "Why, you little shit!!" Steve runs and lunges for Eddie. Eddie is laughing and yelling as he's being chased around the stage by Steve, who eventually captures him in a bear hug when he runs the wrong way around the drum kit.

"urgh...god...let me..." Eddie struggles angrily and tries to wriggle free as Steve squeezes him.

"Oh-hoh no, you are going nowhere, you little prick!" Steve says, squeezing him tighter, making Eddie's face screw up, "What you did, was so not cool!"

"I...only...did...it...cus..." Eddie tries to talk, but it is difficult. He can hardly breathe.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Excuses. You wanted to make me look like an idiot!" Steve says with an unimpressed tone.

Eddie's face is turning pink as he frantically shakes his head in a no.

"Oh, you didn't? Then why?" Steve says, loosening his grip enough for Eddie to take a breath.

Eddie's body sags a little as he takes a deep breath, "Because... I wanted to see if you'd be sad if I died." Eddie says quickly, "I mean, I didn't expect you to agree to headline and the whole speech, you know?" Eddie says, trying to hold back an adoring smile.

Steve squeezes his eyes shut and shakes his head in disbelief, "You made me go through a month of grief to see if I would be sad if you died?"

"Well...it was supposed to be just a day, but then I got genuinely distracted by everything, and then it was two weeks later, and then I thought I could surprise you by jumping out of the coffin, and you'd be overjoyed and I'd say something romantic to maybe win you over, like..." Eddie looks everywhere but at Steve as he details everything.

"Like what? What could you possibly say to make up for that, you complete shithead!" Steve says with an angry squeeze, making Eddie wince and groan.

"That I fought an army of angels and the hordes of hell for one kiss from your sinfully perfect heavenly lips because you're my muse, my love." Eddie manages to get the words out with a struggle.

"What?" Steve says, lessening his grip.

"The songs I write, the ones with my name next to them on the albums, they're all about you," Eddie says as he catches his breath.

"What?" Steve says again, wholly bewildered and fully releases Eddie.

"Our first number one, the one that got a Grammy, and was used in a bunch of movies. That's about you. The um, slow one with the choir on the unplugged album, that's about you. The one we close the shows with, the one with no words, that's about you too. And loads more," Eddie says, adjusting his clothes, looking back up at a dumbfounded Steve, "What? You had no idea? You don't remember? in the garage? You corrected the spelling of sleeve, but it was supposed to be Steve. I just forgot to cross the t" Eddie looks between Steve's eyes for a glimmer of comprehension.

"Ohhh", Steve says finally and points at himself and smiles.

Eddie smiles back at this lovable weirdo and nods.

Steve claps his hands together and looks pleased as punch, turning to the others still pointing at himself with a look of happy surprise. 

Everyone nods at him except for Mike, who throws his hands up, "Are you kidding me? The song we danced to at our wedding was about Steve??? Oh my god!" Mike has to be consoled by Will and Nancy.

Steve eventually turns back to Eddie with a massive smile on his face.

Eddie plays with his hair and looks coyly up at Steve swaying from left to right, "So I dunno, do you maybe wanna come live on a secret island with me for a few years until people forget about me, maybe? I mean, I'll have to get my hair buzzed first, and um, lose the whole rockstar get up" Eddie looks up hopefully and gives a cute little shrug.

Steve folds his arms and taps his lips thoughtfully, "Hmmm."

"OH, MY GOD! Could you grown-ass idiots just kiss already? I could be solving the mysteries of the goddamn world, ok? But instead, I'm stuck here waiting for a long-haired freak and his little ex-sailor boy bride to figure out what everyone else knew years ago!!" Erica shouts, exasperated.

"Apart from Mike", Dustin whispers.

"Yeah, except Mike, who is also on team dumbass!" Erica adds.

"Hey!!" Mike says, annoyed, and is immediately swamped by Will, Joyce and Nancy as Hopper pats Erica on the shoulder with a smile.

"Get offa me, sasquatch!" She says, rolling her eyes.

"Well, you heard the lady," Steve says with a smile walking with an over-the-top swagger towards Eddie.

Eddie grins mischievously, jumps up to grip onto Steve like a koala on a eucalyptus tree, and kisses him, once on the lips, with an audible mwah sound.

Steve looks at him with a laugh, "I hope you've got more where that came from because you've got a lot to make up for, Eddie Munson."

AO3 Link

[theoblivon]

Hello there, it has been a while but life has been a little bit to hectic lately. But my first love Loki brought me back. So here is the beginning of a -hopefully- long Loki x Reader series. And apologies in advance for any mistakes, English is not my first language.

TW: Abusive parents

Word Count: 1409

Song: Happier Than Ever by Billie Eilish

WICKEDEST MAN IN ALL REALMS

You have never been an obedient girl or at least that’s what your parents kept saying. When the example of obedience was your mother, it was indeed tough to beat that. She has only a mouth, but never an opinion. She doesn’t talk much unless she is spoken to and the only time that she does is to say: 

“ Yes, my Lord! I agree my Lord!” 

You don’t think that she has the knowledge that she is a free woman and indeed not a slave. So you, Odin forbid, having opinions about your life was an outrageous characteristic. You read countless books, some to enhance your mind and some merely for your enjoyment. You wrote poetry and sang. These were accepted by your mother - except the books you read on important matters, of course- because they were feminine hobbies however riding horses and practicing swords was an entirely different situation. Your father did not allow it. He even sent you to prison for three days without any food or water as a punishment when he found out. After three torture days, he said:

"Practicing swords would make your arms look like a man. Nobody would want to marry you. They have to like you from afar since once they speak to you they will find you intolerable and not want to marry a wretched little girl like you.”

Needless to say, it didn’t stop you. You only had to do it in the middle of the night when everybody was asleep. The only other person who knew about your midnight adventures was a knight named Stenn. He was the only person who had ever looked out for you. Your father only appointed him to you because the knight was known to be an awful man. He was at first, but he grew to like and care for you deeply.

So when your father asked you to his chambers, you think that the only person who ever looked out for you has betrayed you. That Stenn told your father about your swords practicing. You wish that was the truth after you learned the real reason as to why your father has summoned you. The entire interaction played in your mind. 

“ Come here, wretched thing.” 

“ Yes, my Lord.” 

“ You know I have tried to tame you to mold you into what you were meant to be, a perfect wife for Noble man, but you are incapable of learning. You are like a wilding.” 

He looked at me with utter disgust. 

“I was speaking to the All-Father Odin, He also knows one or two things about having a disappointment of a child. The most repulsed man in all of Asgard or I dare say in all nine realms The Prince Loki... As everybody knows he’s an evil man. So when he talked about possibly marrying him in the hopes of fixing him, I got on my knees and begged him to let me give you to Price Loki. In all honesty, I would pay him to take you but The All-Father was generous. He paid me handsomely. Prince Loki may be the worst husband one can have in all realms, but at least you will be a Princess. Not that you deserve such a title. However, that means that my blood will be connected to the Royal. It will add to my power. So you will be sent to the Golden Palace tonight. And you are to marry Prince Loki  in two days' time.” 

You were crying. You hated crying, especially in front of people. But the distress, terror, and rage made it impossible not to. He came close to you and wiped the tears that were wetting your face. With a fake innocence,

“ Hush now, you can be sure that I wish nothing more in the world that he is as dreadful as they say he is. You deserve the misery that I am sure he will put you in.” 

He leaned in and whispered into your ear, 

“ I heard that he relishes in hurting people. In fact, the only thing he does for amusement is to hurt people.” 

He gave you a chagrin smile. It was a smile of victory. Knowing that not only, do you loathe the idea of marriage in general but the thought of marrying a man who enjoyed hurting people was terrifying. And he knew it.

“ Now go back to your room and get ready” 

You looked at your mother, who was in the room, silently begging her to help you, save you. But she never did. Your father faced you once more and said, 

“ Oh and if you get any foolish ideas in that tiny head of yours, erase them at once. Because if this marriage doesn’t happen for any reason at all, I will cut your little knight into a million pieces and send them all across the Nine Realms. You are not going to ruin the only good thing you will ever achieve. Now go. Go at once.” 

Everything looked blurry. Your whole body felt numb. You sat at your bed and thought back to everything that happened in the past few hours. You know what he said about Stenn wasn't an empty threat. You have no choice but to obey your father. What hurt you the most was your mother. She sat by your father's side like a lifeless doll when he was saying all those things. It was nothing you didn’t expect from her, but it still did hurt. You were pulled out of your train of thought by the maid, announcing that the Lady had arrived.

“ My lady” You curtseyed.

“ There is no such need for formalities now.”

You were shocked to say the very least. Your mother always referred you by your full title and requested you do the same. You don’t think you ever called her mother. 

“ You know this is not as bad as you think it is. I was a little younger when I was sent to marry your father. I never told you this before but there was someone I loved before I met your father, a stable boy. We tried to run away with him, but we got caught. My father ordered his men to kill him in front of me. As I was staring at the pool of his blood, he said to me “This is what happens when you disobey.” As I kept on crying and screaming, staring at his lifeless body, his guards took me and put me into the carriage to send me all the way to here. First, I was very unhappy, but once you do everything your husband tells you to do, you will have no problems at all. You’ll see that the marriage is not that hard.” 

She paused for a second and lifted her eyes that were fixed on the fireplace to my face. You were too shocked to breathe, let alone speak. 

“ Prince Loki may be the worst man in the nine realms but at least he is a prince and if you play your cards right you can make him the king. You are many bad things, but one thing you’re not is an idiot. Remember my words. Farewell child” 

She left your room. You couldn’t move for some time. Tears rolled uncontrollably down your face. You didn't know whether you cried because you felt sorry for your mother or because you felt sorry for yourself. The tears didn’t stop until the maid walked in and told you that it was time for you to go to the Golden Palace. You were a nobleman's daughter, so you lived practically at the palace, but since you weren't royalty by blood, you lived in a completely separate part of the Palace. You saw Prince Loki only once. He was handsome to be sure but you’ve never heard one good thing being said about him. All the rumors about him were always so gruesome. Other than the rumors that involve his activities in his bed chamber. You were brave and confident, but you were also clever enough to recognize the fact that he is by every measure and every sense of the word more powerful than you. You have nothing or no one to protect you from the most wicked man and all nine realms. And you were completely at his mercy.

To Be Continued…

[mac-lilly]

BTTMW4 recap

Well, here we go ...

General

As most of you heard, last year's con, BTTMW2, with 14 guests was a fucked-up fiasco. This one ... wasn't anywhere near as bad.

(Though, tbf, there was no way for a con to be worse than last year's edition. Even the DI staff said that.)

There was better communication and fewer delays. And the cast didn't look like they were about to keel over any second.

There were even actual JATP panels! On both days! With all of the cast being present! All the time! And they actually got to talk about their show and other projects.

After three years, there wasn't much new information. The cast talking about the props they received (in Owen's case: stole) from the set was the most interesting thing.

Though Charlie talking about how he got sent to community theater bc he kept playing air guitar at his hockey games was so freaking adorable. And it felt so Luke.

The party ... and the "JATP concert"

So, while BTTMW4 was a fantastic experience in general, the party was a huge disappointment.

We already had a bad start. One of my friends is in a wheelchair, and the main access to the room was via a few steps. What kind of genius idea was this, DI?! It took them quite a few minutes to figure out how to get her down to the room. On the way back, I followed her. It was like an escape game.

So, yeah, not the ideal start.

And it didn't get much better. After last year's experience, I stayed away from the food. As cute as it looked, I wasn't keen on getting a Sunset Curve experience again.

Now the "JATP concert"

Well, it wasn't a "JATP concert". It was mostly Madi performing her own music. The closest we got to a JATP concert was her singing along to "Stand Tall" - the song was playing while the cast entered the room.

It was obvious that the guys didn't want to get on stage and sing. That's absolutely understandable. But then DI shouldn't have advertised it as a JATP concert. There were people who paid €220 for this party just to see the JATP concert. I'd be fuming if I had paid for that. (Please, don't get me wrong. Madi has an amazing voice. Unfortunately, her music doesn't do it any justice. And the terrible playback made it worse.)

So, anyway, yeah, not a good concert. The party got slightly better after the concert. Brenna D'Amico saved the party by getting on stage and doing group karaoke with the fans.

Random thoughts and occurrences:

Owen saying that this year was the first time he didn't get a gift for Nikolaus was heartbreaking

Owen with his giant emotional support candy cane - adorkable

The Chowen meeting room was exactly as messed up as a friend and I predicted - two independent conversations in one room: The French fans chatting with Charlie and the rest of us talking to Owen in English. (How the French girls actually understood Charlie's archaic French - no clue. Magic.)

I got nervous when I gave Charlie his ghosties. He squeezed the bag, noticed the content was squishy, and asked if he should keep his dog away from it ... RIP Ghosties - they'll be Koa's snack.

The ones who actually looked into their bags (Sacha, Madi & Owen) said they liked the ghosties.

We got a video message from Kenny, saying he's working on some theatre productions. (I really hope he didn't ditch us bc of Zac's star on the Walk of Fame, though.)

The hotel charged €14 for a footlong sandwich. WTF?! I didn't buy one, but I kinda want to know what was on this sandwich. €14 ... even at overpriced train station shops, I get 3 sandwiches for the same price. The hotel was pretty fancy, though.

Today is Bart Johnson's (Coach Bolton) birthday. At the closing ceremony, right after DI said again that it would be the last con, he got a birthday cake, and he was asked to make a wish. So he said: "BTTMW5"! The faces of the DI bosses were priceless.

Honestly, it looks like DI might cave and do another edition. But who knows.

Fun fact: While my souvenir is COVID, all my friends got influenza. WTF?!

There are probably more things to talk about, but my brain is too foggy to come up with more stuff. So that's what you get for now.

[aonoexpat]

10-01-2024

Happy new year everybody! And as the previous submissions highlighted (thankss friends ❤️), yes, it's been a while, and I do apologise for the radio silence. My mental health has been a bit of a rollercoaster the past month and a half, and I've had to prioritise other things. But I'm not about to let the daunting task of summarising 6 weeks in 1 post discourage me! Let's go.

The talks of politics and philosophy at home have continued, occasionally with extra participants. They sent me down a pretty depressing and nihilistic spiral for a little while, but I feel like I've really managed to climb my way out of that again. I was finally brought to a bit of an epiphany that's made me able to at least pick myself up by my bootstraps, and though I'm currently not very comfortable in any hard political or philosophical positions, I seem to have a bit more grip on a general framework again. And that helped me stop moping around and start enjoying my time here more again. Though I'm still quite fragile mentally and quickly overwhelmed, sometimes to extremes that I haven't experienced in years, all in all I feel like this has been an incredibly humbling experience that has helped me grow tremendously. Who knew the last leg of my journey would be one of this kind? I spent four months exploring the South island, and now I've spent the next two exploring my own mind. Though I think that's a journey that will never truly be over, which is both exciting and terrifying.

I have been extremely lucky to be able to live this last bit of my journey rent-free, thanks to my wonderful housemates (and their adorable little dog):

Which meant that I could get away with only working part time. I still thoroughly enjoy my job and my coworkers (we love singing along at the top of our lungs to broadway songs as we clean up after close), but it's great to have a lot of free time around work to meet up with old friends and eat sushi or go to the beach...

...Play board games...

...Celebrate Sinterklaas...

...Organise all my marked road maps, give myself manicures and haircuts, and, with deep deep pain in my heart: sell Elrond 💔 I will say I was extremely lucky to be able to sell him for DOUBLE what I paid for him back in May 😱 I definitely did improve upon him, with the brand new solar panel, newly constructed bed and shiny new rear brakes. Still, I hadn't expected to get my asking price for him, but I got lucky having two interested buyers who wanted to compete. I can barely believe it, but this means I have almost fully earned back my entire South island trip, car costs and fuel costs combined! And now I don't have to worry about the scenario in which I wouldn't manage to sell him, and would have to leave him with friends. All that was definitely the silver lining I forced myself to focus on as I gave him one last deep clean, both to be able to present him properly to his new owners, and as a sort of closure ritual for myself. I cleaned out all the dead sandflies, dusted all the surfaces, vacuumed the floor mats, and gave the kitchen a thorough wash. Saying goodbye is never easy, and I definitely had to fight back some tears when his new owners came to pick him up and take him away. But they are absolute sweethearts (they already sent me a photo from their adventure with him), so I can rest assured that he is in good hands! Farewell my darling, you were the best first car I could have wished for, and you will not be forgotten ❤️

Aside from all that, I was also very glad to have the chance to go on two more spectacular hikes in this area!

Patuna Chasm

This GORGEous ~3-hour hike definitely justified my bringing my Teva active sandals with me from home, as almost three quarters of the walk was through knee-deep river water. It was a cold and windy morning as we got driven to the start of the track in a 4WD car by the owners of the land, and were told to be back at the drop-off point in three hours to be brought back to our own car. If we were to miss that car, we'd have to wait a full hour for the next ride. So with our route map in hand, we set off on the first leg of the hike, which took us up the hills and back down to the chasm. The views were stunning, with spectacular rock formations and the grass on the hill faces waving in the wind like a green ocean:

Down at the river, we got our clothes and bags ready to get wet, and stepped into the water. As we followed the river, first upstream towards some serene waterfalls (where I may have given myself a brain freeze and mild hypothermia by deciding to stand under them):

And then downstream to start making our way back to the car, it started to slowly rain, but that didn't stop us. We saw eels:

We clambered up muddy hills and over huge boulders, down ladders, through deep and shallow sections of the river, explored caves:

And when we finally got back to the section of the track that would take us to our starting point, two of my friends were kind enough to carry mine and our fourth friend's backpack, so we could go down the alternate route: the last stretch of the river, which required us to swim through neck-deep water. I couldn't feel my feet or forearms by the end, but the adrenaline drowned that out as we sprinted up the riverbank to make it back to the 4WD car, only to catch it right as it was about to leave without us! It was absolutely exhausting, but so much good old childish adventurous fun, and one of the most spectacular hikes I've done in the country! (Photo credits to Liv :) )

Escarpment Track

This was the last hike my friend and I did together, which was a sad fact I tried not to think about too much as we walked. The track took us about 10km along the East coast, and it was quite the climb. The view was stunning though, the path itself was very well laid out, with stairs and ropes to hold onto, and benches along the way, which we happily used to take a lunch break about halfway through.

We were very happy to have some cloud coverage that day so we weren't constantly exposed to the sun. My favourite parts were the two rope bridges that were bouncing wildly in the wind. Standing on them felt a little like flying!

And for most of the track we were flanked by immense amounts of fennel, which gave the whole walk a wonderful background aroma:

I was so amazed by the thought that this hike was literally 15 minutes from my friend's home. That type of easy access to incredible nature is definitely something I'm going to miss when I go home. But that made me all the more grateful I got to do this while I still could! (Photo credits to Liv :) )

Soon enough my birthday rolled around, which was an incredibly emotional day for me. I had to say goodbye to my dear friends, one of whom I won't see again before I leave the country. I gifted her a little hand made photo album of our adventures together, which had taken me a lot longer to make than I had anticipated, but luckily I had managed to finish it the night before:

She told me this wasn't a 'goodbye', but a 'see you next time', and though I'd happily believe that, the next time will be at least a long time from now. She has meant the world to me during this trip, has helped and supported me more than I could thank her for, so I had to bite back tears as I watched her walk away. After that I had drinks at work, where my super kind coworkers surprised me with vegan chocolate and doughnuts, making me struggle not to cry for the second time that day. In the evening I had a video call with home, during which I remotely participated in their game of Memory, and still WON 💪😤

After my birthday my housemates and I went straight into Christmas mode, running around decorating the house and cooking all sorts of dishes! It was very odd to have Christmas without the associated weather/season, and without getting to see my family. My housemate introduced me to Tim Minchin's song White Wine in the Sun, which makes me cry like a baby every time I listen to it. So I took a photo of myself and my housemates, drinking non-alcoholic sparkling white grape juice in the sun, and sent it home along with a link to the song to make my parents cry as well 😈 We spent our days here enjoying all the wonderful food and the company of the neighbour and his family, and I even got to sing some songs which I hadn't done in a long while. I also got to give Christmas presents to my housemates, which I worked quite hard on: matching cowl scarves for the two of them and the dog 😊

Of course next on the calendar was New Year's Eve. In honour of my family traditions, I got some non-alcoholic sparkling rose and cocktail fruit from the supermarket, and a couple of minutes before midnight a musician friend and I combined them into portable cups, so we could cheers to 2024 at the waterfront as the fireworks lit up the sky!

I had a wonderful night of music, dancing, playing on the beach, walking in the woods, and eventually sheltering from the rain, and didn't fall asleep until 6 in the morning. My sleeping rhythm still hasn't recovered! The next morning I woke up from my alarm at 11:55, and quickly got up so I could listen to the last minutes of the Top2000 and wish all my Dutch people a happy new year at noon. It felt so odd to do this in the sun in the middle of the day, but in a way that felt more real than the midnight before!

The next days I spent some time looking back at my highlights and achievements from 2023, and I created my own makeshift "Spotify wrapped" by analysing some statistics from my offline music player app. It turns out that (besides Asha, which is the music I play to fall asleep nearly every night) Ghost was my top artist of the year 🎧 Oh and I caught a big spider in my room!

For Sinterklaas, my parents had gifted me a metaphorical voucher to spend where I wanted to, so I got myself a ticket to a tour at Wēta Workshop, the SFX and other movie magic studio behind the Lord of the Rings trilogy, the Avatar movies, and many more. I dragged one of my housemates and a mutual friend along, and I'm really happy we got to go! We were shown around the different stages in the SFX process, we got to hold some movie prop swords, and got to see the original weapons and armour used on-screen in a plethora of different movies. Unfortunately for copyright reasons we weren't allowed to take photos inside the studios and work stations, but I snapped some photos outside!

And while I'd much prefer not to face it... By now I have had to start focusing on my upcoming homebound trip. Slowly plans for when I get back home are trickling in, which feels very surreal. I can't believe it's actually only two weeks until I go home, a fact that I like to hide from as much as I can. It's not that I don't want to go home, I've been looking forward to seeing my family again, eating all my familiar foods, seeing my neighbourhood and getting to hug my friends again for so long now. And I am genuinely excited for that. Part of the reason I enjoy traveling is that it reminds me of what I love about home, and allows me to miss it, and return to it more grateful than before. But it also feels like returning to 'normal life'. I'm afraid of going from a time of adventure to a time of stagnation, even though I know that's not a fair or reasonable thought. I suppose something I was afraid of is happening, which is that I feel at home here now, and happy, and have found the right people, and am enjoying the summer, and so going home (to winter 🥶) actually doesn't sound very attractive at all at times, at least not the way it did when I was living in Elrond. Back then I was struggling a lot more, I felt alone and lost, and so the thought of going home felt like such a relief. Now that I've grown accustomed to the luxury of living in a house again, and being surrounded by a social network I feel safe and appreciated in... the contrast is a lot smaller. And it almost feels like I'm going to feel homesick towards here when I go home. Like this upcoming flight is my departure, not my return.

This thought was solidified even more when my housemate asked if I'd be willing to wear a sweater that I'm not going to take with me as much as I can for the last two days or so, so that it will smell like me and I can leave it for the dog 😭💔 I really struggle not to cry at that thought, and I'm wondering if maybe (i.e. am pretty sure actually that) I'm even procrastinating with booking the trip between here and Tāmakimakaurau out of pure denial. I don't want to leave. I don't want to say goodbye, and never come back. Much more than I ever felt with Australia, I want to return here. I don't care when, maybe that will be when I'm old and retired and have no family left in Europe to miss, or when the most important people to me come with me, or if I find out I have been irrevocably changed and flee back here in a year or two. But I want to come back.

I have procured a second suitcase, and am slowly working on getting all my possessions sorted. I've sold my busking amp and microphones to a good musician friend after we'd used it for a last busking hurrah at the harbourside veggie markets last Sunday. It was a fantastic end to this busking season for me, as we connected with the crowd, the weather was wonderful, and I got to sing all the songs that were important to me. I can't bring my guitar with me, so I'll bring it to my friends' house for safekeeping, and maybe they can get it back to me some day. And the big pink bear who was riding shotgun with me in Elrond? It would break my heart to leave him behind, so I stuffed him into one of those vacuum seal bags:

And I'm going to break my back trying to fit him into the new suitcase! He means too much to me, even if I only paid $10 for him.

My to do list is shrinking slowly but steadily, and I really have to plan well to fit everything that's left into the little time I still have here. I am going to make the most of it, spend time with the people here that have meant the most to me, immortalise the memories and when the time comes, I will get on that plane with a fond smile ❤️

[fumblingmusings]

Do you have any music that you associate with characters when you write or in general?

My music taste is objectively bad I hope you know. I like Eurovision and K-Pop (BEFORE IT WAS 'COOL' I HAVE STANNED GIRLS GENERATION SINCE 2011 GET ON MY LEVEL BTS ARMIES OR WHOMSTEVER) so my choices are... bad. Basic. Melodramatic. Problematic? Another adjective ending in tic.

So uh. Music. You can guess if you like which songs refer to whom. I think many of them are generic enough to span many nations at one point or another. They're all far more dramatic than canon I can say that much. :|

Melanie Martinez - Void

Pipe down with the noise, I cannot bear my sorrow / I hate who I was before / I fear I won't live to see the day tomorrow / Someone tell me if this is Hell / I gotta escape that void / There is no other choice, yeah / Tryna turn down the voices / The void ate me / Look at the mess I've done / There is nowhere to run, yeah / Holding a loaded gun / The void / Like a priest behind confession walls, I judge myself / Kneeling on a metal grater / Bloody, like a body that has died and it's myself / Tangled in my own intestines

Konata x Generdyn - Fight Back

Nah, this ain't hate speech, this is faith preached / This is Shakespeare mixed with Banksy / This is screaming out until you can't breath / This is I don't care how long it takes me, yeah (I don’t care) / 'Cause I know freedom reigns here / Already overcame fear / So if I wanna see it then I gotta be / Imma be the change (Yeah) / I'm defiant, I rise in a crisis, I know what the price is, I'll show 'em what a fight is / I'm the leader of the pack / I'm here, where you at? / Set the flame light a match / I will fight back

Rina Sawayama - Holy Til You Let Me Go

Tried to pray the pain away / Just like you taught me (But something had changed) / Came to shelter from the blame / But I left taking all the shame / Oh, you saw a light starting to shine / Wanted it only for your eyes / Older and wise, God on your side / I was the martyr who paid for your life / I was innocent when you said I was evil / I took your stones and I built a cathedral / Found my peace when I lost my religion / All these years I wished I was different / But, oh, no, now I know / I’m holy till you let me go

Chelsea Wolfe - The Waves Have Come

Creation was the only word that made you feel you never were / An endless hope is all it was and holding sacred all were / And don't forsake the way we were and don't tell me you never would / And we don't need physical things to make us feel and make us dream / When earth cracks open and swallows then / We'll never be tired again / And we'll be given everything the moment we realize we're not in control / And all you know gets older when the sun goes down and everything / Begins to fade away the waves have come and taken you to sea / Never to return to me

Lana del Rey - National Anthem

It's a love story for the new age / For the six-page, we're on a quick, sick rampage / Winin' and dinin', drinkin' and drivin', excessive buyin' / Overdose and dyin' on our drugs and our love / And our dreams and our rage / Blurrin' the lines between real and the fake / Dark and lonely, I need somebody to hold me / He will do very well, I can tell, I can tell / Keep me safe in his Bell Tower Hotel / Money is the anthem of success / So put on mascara and your party dress / I'm your national anthem, boy put your hands up / Give me a standing ovation / Boy, you have landed, babe, in the land of / Sweetness and danger, queen of Saigon

Marina - Immortal

I wanna be immortal like a god in the sky / I wanna be a silk flower like I'm never gonna die /I wanna live forever, forever in your heart / And we'll always be together from the end to the start / That's what we do it for, to reserve a place / It's just another part of the human race / That's what we do if for, to reserve a space / In history it's just part of the human race, race / I'm forever chasing after time but everybody dies, dies / If I could buy forever at a price, I would buy it twice, twice / But if the Earth ends in fire and the seas are frozen in time / There'll be just one survivor, he memory that I was yours and you were mine

Loreen - Under Ytan

I often think about you / As if you were my own brother / I have changed too / Into a merciless monster / When I see all the evil / That we, as human beings, have unleashed / The senseless suffering / Then I find it harder to understand / That we all were children once / And we all were helpless once / We loved without limits / We loved unconditionally / Under the surface / We're all small / Under the surface / A good soul can be lost

[mintacle]

Tag Game

(Tag people you want to get to know better)

I got tagged by @1dragon-mustard1 and @benbamboozled, thx guys!

I apologize kinda for my recent inactivity, study assignments have been piling atop me like it is their mission to crush my soul. (They will not succeed) And I’m also mourning my broken digital pen. But I’m back with just a little something fun.

fave colour: vivid colors, but I’m especially biased to sunrise orange.

currently reading: I wish I was actually reading something atm. I do have a long list of books I want to get for christmas. 

last song: American Pie. I was feeling nostalgic, sigh.

sweet/spicy/savory: Savory/spicy. I don’t really like sweet stuff. My affections can’t be won with chocolate.

fav alcoholic drink: Wine.

traditional or modern: Best of both worlds. Never give in to any binary.

favourite writer: hm, off the top of my head: Rainbow Rowell, Terry Pratchett, Benjamin Alire Saenz, but there are def more.

favourite dessert: ah, well. See I don’t really like sweet stuff, right? Umm, cheese and grapes is actually nice.

fav rapper: Cardi B, Post Malone

favourite soccer/hockey/tennis player: I dislike sports. I’d rather play than be forced to only watch. I don’t think any younger siblings whose older sibling is a gamer can enjoy watching sport anymore. Too similar to only being allowed to watch while they get to have the fun.

colours of my bedroom: Student housing :/ If I could pick I would paint a mural on my wall and then also cover it in pictures and stuff.

favourite politician: HHhAahahaha, no.

loyalty or lust: Loyalty. Like a dog. To be admired and to be pitied. 

pizza or pasta: Pizza. 

vegan/veggie: I’ve been vegetarian for 6 years now. I’m actually thinking about trying meat again, but only like one time, don’t really feel the need to return to meat. I think it’s ok for people to eat meat as long as they are aware of the reality of what they are doing and don’t treat it as a disembodied product and forget the larger context of its production. Every cent you save on the price of your meat, is paid by the suffering of the cow whose steak you are eating. Be responsible is all.

favourite time period: pre-civilization

love or hate: Despite everything, I don’t actually hate anyone. But because of everything it is hard to freely say love anymore. I still have a lot of decades before me, but for now I will have to go with Caring, if not Loving

last series watched: Our Flag Means Death

classical or rock: Definitely both, but I listen to more rock. (I’m partial to Halestorm)

fairy or dragons: Dragons.

GOT or LOTR: oh, uh. Don’t come at me tumblr, but I don’t really actually care about either. Sorry. Sorry.

And that’s a wrap! I’m doing an umbrella tag for all of my followers, so if this is on your dash then feel invited to participate and you can @ me so I’ll see your answers too. :)

[low-key-theatre]

I’m realising I haven’t really talked about one of my my favourite series shows on here because it hard to slot into my masterpost

PortAventura always has a show on that’s got pop songs, performers, backup dancers and a variety of circus type acts, at Halloween it becomes Halloween themed. I go see it every year I can manage to and it’s honestly iconic.

Like I guess you can call it like a duke box musical with circus acts but honestly what plot there is usually picked up by context clues and the songs. I first saw it when it was Mystery Rock Symphony but since then it changes name every few years. I’ve seen it as Halloween Escape, Halloween Forever, Halloween Factory.

There are uploads of it but it’s obviously not the same, the show has nice tech and I usually see it multiple times since it’s hard to watch the main acts, the singers and the backup dancers at the same time.

Like for a show included in the price of admission I’ve heard some write it off thinking it cheap entertainment to distract you from the fact you’re taking a sitting down break in a theme park you paid to enter but no, it’s magical, the venue is huge, the makeup and costuming is the correct amount of extra for Halloween, there’s a lot of dancers most of the time, even if the act is unable to come on they slay, the international acts always have those skills where you’re like “how and where did you even learn how to do that do well without dying”.

It is in Spanish technically but there’s usually barely any dialogue, most of the songs are in English and they character act enough you get the vibe regardless.

If I could learn more about the show I would, I wish I’d gotten to see this show even more over the years but the pandemic and years where I was studying in October made it hard. I once tried going in the summer but it just wasn’t the same and I don’t think I could go more than once a year because I’m already pretty desensitised to the rides and going multiple times a year would make that worse.

The other main show is Bang Bang West’s Halloween variant Bang Bang Halloween. I’m not going to comment on the plot for reasons. It’s a stunt show and the performers are good at their jobs. The monster’s makeup and costumes are solid and practical.

Beetlejuice is the main villain which people think means I’ll automatically love it but I like more Beetlejuice The Musical and Discontinued Theme-park Beetlejuice where that’s going more for kid friendly toned down movie Beetlejuice (like the one in the cartoon) and that’s just not the same.

It’s a show I like to see once a visit for the stunts and costumes.

PortAventura is way more affordable than somewhere like DisneyLand Paris so it’s quite a good option if you’re based in Europe.

[tonkiip]

The journey back to me soul reflections volume i

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Prices and availability subject to change without notice.

The journey back to me soul reflections volume i download#

Looking for one specific arrangement? Individual selections from this title are available for download at Poem For #15 (The Saga Of Harrison Crabfeathers) Once I Loved (Amor Em Paz) (Love In Peace) Nobody Knows You When You're Down And Out It Don't Mean A Thing (If It Ain't Got That Swing)Ī Man And A Woman (Un Homme Et Une Femme) If You Never Come To Me (Inutil Paisagem) I Wish I Knew How It Would Feel To Be Free The Girl From Ipanema (Garôta De Ipanema) Looking for a particular song? Check out the Real Book Songfinder here. and hundreds more! Editions also available in B-flat, E-flat, and Bass Clef.You won't even notice the difference, other than that all of the notorious errors have been fixed: the covers and typeface look the same, the song list is nearly identical, and the price for our edition is even cheaper than the original! Every conscientious musician will appreciate that these books are now produced accurately and ethically, benefitting the songwriters that we owe for some of the greatest tunes of all time! Includes 400 songs: All Blues Hal Leonard is very proud to present the first legitimate and legal editions of these books ever produced. The problem is that the books were illegally produced and distributed, without any regard to copyright law, or royalties paid to the composers who created these musical masterpieces. Since the 1970s, musicians have trusted these volumes to get them through every gig, night after night. The Real Books are the best-selling jazz books of all time.

[author-morgan]

"I won't let anyone hurt you, you're safe with me" with eivor please... Maybe he rescues reader from the order after they had been used for different experiments or something

i am so sorry for how long this took, but I had to come up with the right plot bunny to pair with the prompt for some angst(tm). here you are, i hope you enjoy and don't mind the touch of Havi and Frigg, or in which Havi makes a promise to his sweet Frigg and keeps it even in the next life.

m!Eivor x fem!Reader

SÝNIN CIRCLES IN the clear sky above the longhouse of Ravensthorpe, and then you know your husband is not far now. Soon Eivor Wolfsmal will be back in your arms, where he belongs. The raven descends, coming to perch on your shoulder, nudging his beak against your temple —as much as you’ve missed Eivor, you’ve missed Sýnin in equal measure. Things could get surprisingly lonely without a tetchy raven around to croak at all hours of the night, steal your hairpins, and beg for treats. Reaching up, you scritch the blue-back feathers on his belly and are rewarded by a low, gurgling croak. “Have you been behaving yourself?” Sýnin bobs his head, but you have a gut feeling he’s lying for the chance at a few extra treats.

Taking to the docks, you watch along the river bends for the sail and masts of the longship. The blue-and-back sail and shields turn from the west —squinting, you can see him standing on the curved scorpion tail, looking onward to home. With a nervous smile, you rest your hand over your belly, knowing soon it will start to grow. You’ve much to tell him since he’s been gone the past weeks, building alliances with Saxon nobles across England.

“Eivor, my love,” you call, meeting him at the edge of the dock as he steps off the longship. His smile is tired but relieved when he looks upon you with Sýnin perched upon your shoulder —the best ‘welcome home’ he could ask for. You open your arms, embracing him as the crew disseminates among the settlement. Eivor pulls back, his hands —rougher than you remember— cupping your cheeks.

There’s something different in your expression, a new glow surrounding you that he cannot place. Regardless of his racing mind, he leans forward as you urge him down with a hand at the nape of his neck. It’s been weeks, and he sighs against your mouth, the burdens of the world washed away by your touch and kiss. “Walk with me?” You ask, holding fast to his hand. He nods, offering his arm. Word of the recently secured alliance can wait; he has been parted from his wife too long.

You lead him past the longhouse, the people of Ravensthorpe smiling as they see Eivor has returned and know what it is you’re going to tell him. Once Valka confirmed your suspicions, it hadn’t taken long for word to travel by way of two mischievous children.

Everyone is happy; and happy for you and Eivor, knowing you two had tried to conceive many times. Stopping beneath the great tree past the Seer’s Hut, you turn with a smile —hand settling on your middle. “I’ve good news to tell you.” Eivor lifts his brow, and your smile only widens as you reach for his hand, pressing it against your belly. He sucks in a deep breath, heart thudding in his chest and ears as he looks to you, his clear blue eyes wide with joy and surprise. You nod, resting your hand over his. “I am with child.”

Eivor is silent for a moment, gathering his words and emotions. He looks down at your belly, then back to you —overjoyed and uncertain. This is a moment you’ve only ever talked about; that he’s dreamt of when the gods were kind enough to let him have a good dream. “I’m going to be a father?” Eivor breathes, though it sounds more like a question. You nod again, eyes gleaming with tears as he rests his other hand on your stomach too. His smile too large to be hidden under his shaggy golden beard. There’s another moment’s pause, then Eivor slips his arms around you, bringing you into a tight embrace —his face tucked into your neck.

You lose track of how long Eivor holds you in his arms as if it all is only a dream and he may wake at any second. Stepping back, he takes your face into his rough hands, brushing away the tears streaking your cheeks. Eivor dips his head down, his nose brushing against yours before your lips meet —gentle and loving but still burning with fervor from the weeks of being parted from one another.

“You’ve made me the happiest man in Midgard,” he admits. You lean into him again, taking another kiss before he settles onto one knee in front of you, level with your belly. Eivor rests his forehead against your front, his hands loosely holding onto your hips. “Rest easy, little one.” Smiling, you brush back his golden hair —half-unbound from his warrior’s braids and knotted. “I will protect you and your mother.” It’s a promise.

“EIVOR,” RANDVI CRIES as he enters the longhouse, tears still fresh on her cheeks. She should not have let you go riding outside of Ravensthorpe alone, especially knowing you were with child. He clasps onto her shoulders, steadying her so she can gather her senses. “It’s Fulke.” The script is fresh in her memory, having read it a dozen times over to be certain of the ill-boding tidings. Randvi shakes her head, unable to meet her friend's concerned gaze. “She’s taken more than just Sigurd.”

“No,” Eivor breathes, but Randvi presents the scroll as proof. He skims the words —his worst fears coming to fruition. Not only did Fulke hold his brother captive, but now the conniving bitch had stolen you away too. You. His wife. The mother of his unborn child. He’d sworn to protect both of you with every breath in his lungs, and now it is an oath broken.

The sudden anger boiling under his skin is so hot it burns the fear freezing him, turning to determination. Eivor crumples the parchment, his expression twisting —no god can save you now, Fulke. “Send word to our allies.” Randvi nods, stepping back to the writing-table at the edge of the map room. “I will burn all of Wessex if I have to,” Eivor grits out, hands turning to fists at his sides as he leaves the longhouse to gather his men —a part of him feels as though he has walked this path before.

HAVI STRIDES THROUGH Fensalir with a deep sadness in his heart, but his agony cannot compare to that of his sweet Frigg. For three days and three nights, his queen has asked for solitude, and though it pained him to keep away during such times, he and the others respected Frigg’s wishes. Though Havi would not leave his dear wife to grieve alone, sending Huginn and Muninn to keep a watchful eye over the Queen of the Æsir. The two ravens are perched upon a stone bench at the edge of the fen. Thor glances over his shoulder at the approaching footsteps —his expression is weary and grief-stricken as he looks upon his father.

Gently, your son releases you from his tight embrace and rises, stepping back with a silent promise to return soon as he greets his father with a solemn nod before leaving. Havi pushes back his hood, seeing the white flowers spring from the earth with your tears. Baldr will be remembered —in deeds and songs and the blossoms brought forth by his mother’s tears. He kneels, reaching for your hands, and slides the bloody sprig of mistletoe free from your grasp. Through weary eyes, you look upon your husband —his expression twisted into the same display of forlorn grief. It makes your heart ache even more to have pushed him away, for he too lost a son. “Frigg,” he sighs.

“Havi,” you cry, falling into him. He swathes you in his black cloak, tucking you against his chest and holding you tight —a vow of retribution on his tongue. Loki would be punished for this crime. For all the realms felt the bitter void left by Baldr’s absence, and all wept, save for a giantess whose unshed tears doomed your son to Hel. The grief and anger simmering in his blood turn to something else —determination. He will not have his sweet Frigg endure this pain again; his one-armed embrace tightens as he cradles the back of your head. “I will not let another of our children fall,” Havi swears, lips brushing over your temple. “Not until our twilight has come.”

HE TWISTS HIS hands into Fulke’s leather-and-cloth armor, throwing the madwoman to the muddy and blood-slick ground. Fulke spits blood, pulling herself away from Eivor Wolfsmal on hands and knees only to find herself surrounded by his men and allies. All their weapons drawn, trained on her. The price for taking the Jarl of Raven Clan and Eivor’s wife is one to be paid in blood, and there is nowhere for her to run. She will have to suffer the wrath. “Where is she?” Eivor roars, kicking Fulke onto her back. He kneels, knee pressing into the bloody gash on her side, one of his throwing axes withdrawn and held high above his head —ready to strike.

There is no fear in her eyes, only bliss. Her work in this world now complete. “You made a choice,” Fulke laughs, choking on blood, “you chose Sigurd.” She coughs, blood-tinged spittle spattering against Eivor’s face, washed away by the pouring rain.

He roars, teeth bared and eyes burning hot with the rage of the gods. Lightning splits open the sky, thunder cracking like a great whip against the earth. “I will flay the skin from your bones and feed your eyes to my raven,” Eivor hisses.

Her smile is bloody —victorious. She knows you are leagues from here, and now the only ones who know are dead or dying. Eivor Wolfsmal could search the land for years and never find the seaside cave on the shores of Cent. “You’ll never find her,” Fulke says. One final victory before relinquishing herself to darkness and her wounds.

Eivor rises, his shoulders heaving and expression twisted. There is no time for a reunion when Sigurd limps from the fortress —clutching the stump where his hand and wrist once were— reinforcements from Wincestre draw nigh. The cry of war horns and drums echoing above the storm. He turns to Dag and Hrefna, eyes flitting over to his brother, unfit to fight in the coming battle. “See him back to Ravensthorpe,” he tells them before shifting his attention back to his allies. The day is not won yet, and Eivor will not rest until he has his beloved back in his arms.

ABOVE THE BREAKING waves of the sea, there is a whisper on the howling wind. Eivor looks to the sea below, then to Basim —his scouts working tirelessly since the siege of Portcestre nigh a fortnight ago to find leads. The culmination of their work leads him and Eivor to the southern edge of Cent to a cave guarded by Fulke’s acolytes. Eivor knows the gods are with him this day, as plain as if the Allfather whispered the affirmation into his ear.

The echoes of battle fill the air, and through the slivers of light above, you see shadows moving and hear the unmistakable cry of a raven growing closer —Sýnin. Rousing from uneasy rest, you clamber to the upturned bucket at the cell’s center, dragging chains behind you. Trembling, you clutch your swollen belly, then step up onto the bucket, fingers finding purchase on the metal grate above, slick with blood and excrements. Sýnin appears at the edge of the grate, his beady eyes staring down at you in the darkness, tilting his head this way and that. He hops up and down —talons clinking against the metal— before squawking wildly.

Eivor’s focus shifts from the dead littering the beach when he hears Sýnin inside the cave, and for the first time in weeks, you hear your name in his voice —a desperate plea. “Eivor!” His name is only a soft, airy rasp, not strong enough to carry with the raven’s calls. “Eivor!” You cry, this time louder, but your voice is broken, throat raw from days screaming and crying at the hands of Fulke and her enforcers. Sýnin’s squawks grow louder, mingling with footsteps.

The wave of relief almost shatters him when it hits and washes over his body and mind when he sees you —alive. Eivor reaches through the lattice, his fingers brushing against yours. “I’ve got you now,” he breathes, the torchlight showing the tears glistening in his clear blue gaze. You nod, smiling with cracked lips —thanking Frigg and Freyja that your prayers did not go unanswered. Eivor urges you to step down and aside, and when you do, he rears back, slamming the butt of his axe against the rusting lock, breaking it. With a sharp cry, he throws open the grate, sliding down into the darkness with you.

Hands trembling, he unlocks the manacles around your wrists and the shackle around your ankle. Each has left your skin red and raw beneath. Eivor gathers you in his arms. “Let’s get you out of here,” he says, lips brushing against your temple. You nod, eager to be rid of this damp and foul hole in the earth. Sýnin takes to your shoulder as soon as you are free, nudging his head against your temple and cheek. With a tired smile, you lift a hand to scritch the dark feathers of his underside as Eivor pulls himself free of the cell.

Eivor kneels, reaching for your hands, his thumbs brushing just above the broken skin on your wrists, and as you lean toward him, he swathes you with the coarse wool of his cloak —forehead pressed against yours. He feels the dampness on your cheeks as you press your face against his scarred neck. "I won't let anyone hurt you again,” he vows, “you're safe now.” One of his hands settles on your stomach, and you cover it with yours, holding him tightly with the other. “You’re both safe,” he whispers, and it’s only when he feels a light twitch against his hand that the realization breaks him. “I’m so sorry, my love,” Eivor chokes.

You draw back from his embrace, seeing the tears streak his face and the guilt clear on his expression. “Don’t blame yourself,” you plead, cupping his scarred cheek. “Please, don’t.” Eivor nods, though guilt still weighs heavily on his heart and will until he sees you safely returned to Ravensthorpe and tended to. He turns farther into your hand until his lips brush the center of your palm —a soft kiss, another promise.

Sýnin croaks, splashing in a puddle, and breaks yours and Eivor’s trance, reminding you both that you’re still in a cave, far from home and where you belong. He slides his arms beneath your knees and around your shoulders, rising with you. “You’re safe,” he repeats, more for himself to hear than you. Eivor breathes a deep sigh when he steps onto the beach, holding you close in his arms. Sýnin flies overhead, as do a pair of ravens — the same pair Eivor has seen in dreams of late. He smiles as he sets on the path carrying you up the cliffside, knowing Havi and Frigg had both heard his prayers.

[taglist:  @angstygunslinger @vanillabeanlattes @withered-poppies @ananriel @itseivwhore @maximalblaze @dynamicorbit @theelvenvalkyrie @xxdearlybeloved @elizabethroestone @elluvians @letsloveimagines @finick94 @wallsarecrumbling @kitkitvm @thedragonqueenfan @callmemythicalminx @edelae @darkravenqueen98 ] if your name is italicized, tumblr would not let me tag you. if you’d like to be added to my Eivor taglist, just let me know!

[cinebration]

Give Me Peace (Geralt of Rivia x Reader) [Request]

I always had a vision of the witcher where reader is a siren (alternative, land walking type that can still enthrall ppl with her beauty) and her and Geralt always bump into each other over the years. Ppl are always hunting her since sirens are worth a lot of money so he decides to help her. Geralt refuses to admit his feelings are real for her until he figures out that witchers are immune to siren songs. Basically, lots of angst but a fluffy ending! — Requested by anon

I know this was supposed to have a fluffy ending, but it turned into something else, and I couldn’t bear to change it.

Tagged: @bichibibi​

Warnings: death

Gif Source: august-walker

Over the span of five decades, you and Geralt crossed paths more times than he had ever crossed anyone’s, Jaskier and Yennefer included. The hand of destiny seemed to be at work, nudging you both into each other’s path every ten years or so.

It started first by the ocean. You had spent much time there in that first decade, drawn to the sea and your marine cousins, the sirens of the water. You were a siren of the land, beautiful beyond measure but lacking the enchanting voice of your sea cousins. You did not call men to their deaths as they did. Instead, your beauty drove men to madness.

Perhaps you were the more dangerous breed.

For the first few years, your beauty kept you safe, as no man who laid eyes on you and met your gaze was safe from your spell. You could topple kingdoms if you so felt with that kind of power.

But there came men and women who coveted the prize of a slain siren, especially one poisoning the minds and hearts of their very best.

Thus came your first encounter with the witcher, Geralt. Hired by the townsfolk, he sought you out on the shores of the sea, where you sat on the rocks in low tide and gazed out over the choppy waters. Careful to avoid your gaze, he drew near, armed not with his sword but with his wits, ready to be enthralled.

Hearing his step on the sand, you glanced at him and paused, stricken by his rugged beauty. Never had you seen a man whose looks could entice you as you enticed others. Though he averted his eyes, you saw their vivid yellow irises glinting in the setting sun.

“Witcher,” you called, “have you come for me?”

He grunted.

“You would kill me for something I have no power over?”

“You’re driving the town mad.”

“They are driven mad by their own desire. I can’t hide myself.”

“They don’t see it that way.”

“How do you see it?”

He cleared his throat, glanced over his shoulder to see if any of the townsfolk had followed him.

Slipping down off the rock, you approached him. He took a step back, shifting into a defensive stance. You ceased, bare feet digging into the cooling sand.

“If I paid you more than they did to protect me, would you?”

The muscle in his jaw flexed. “Only if you leave.”

With a sigh, you looked back over the ocean. You would miss it, but forests and mountains were your home; to them you would return.

~~

The following decade, Geralt heard news of a beautiful woman bewitching men near Brokilon. At first he thought she belonged to the druids that populated the dangerous forest, but as he heard report after report of men driven to madness, raving of beauty and unearthly eyes, he knew the woman to be a siren.

He knew it had to be you.

The villagers sent him forth to kill you. Traveling through the forest on the outskirts of Brokilon, careful not to trespass, he found a small hut near the road, partially obscured by the trees but by no means invisible.

Through a half-shuttered window, he glimpsed you brushing your hair. In the light from the fire burning within the hearth, he glimpsed the faint lines of sealed gills. He had heard that land sirens had come from the sea centuries before, but nothing had offered so much proof as the vestigial, malformed organs on your neck.

“Witcher,” you called, seeing him through the window, “have you come for me?”

He grunted.

“You would kill me for something I have no power over?”

“The villagers don’t see it that way.”

“What am I to do? I can’t hide myself.”

“You could do a better job.”

“Come into my home, witcher, and warm yourself.”

Shaking his head, he unsheathed his sword.

“If I pay you double what the villagers are paying, will you spare me again?”

He considered for a long moment. You stared at his face, but he refused to meet your gaze. Out of his peripherals, he saw something of your beauty. It was stellar, he would agree, but it stirred nothing more within him than he expected when seeing a beautiful woman.

It almost made him want to meet your enchanting gaze.

Discipline and strength won out, but not entirely.

“Yes,” he answered. “Just leave.”

Sighing, you put out the fire and gathered your things, amounting to nothing more than a small sack over one shoulder.

“Witcher,” you called, “I have been attacked twice now.”

He nearly met your eyes, so sharply did he turn back to you.

“Men shot arrows through my window, tried to set fire to my home.”

“You are a monster to them.”

“So are you, but you are allowed some peace.”

“No, I’m not.”

“Few men think they can kill you. Every man thinks they can kill me. There is peace in the former.”

Shouldering your sack, you struck off down the road, fixing your gaze on the mountains.

Geralt watched you go until even his enhanced vision no longer saw your figure, your words echoing in his mind.

~~

In the third decade, Geralt came upon you by chance. He passed a hunting party made of hardscrabble men practically frothing at the mouth with anticipation. They rained arrows down into the ravine from their position on the mountain face, arrows with fire burning at the ends. Geralt would have walked on if one of them had not cried, “Burn, enchantress!”

Geralt paused to look down into the ravine. A small shack leaned against the wall, situated by a thin stream. You stood in stark relief among the basalt, knocking away the arrows with a poor shield. One arrow caught in your thatch roof, caught fire.

Geralt hauled the nearest archer off his feet, slamming him against the cliff face. The other men spun, glimpsed his white hair and murderous glare. They fled, screaming obscenities in your direction.

“Witcher,” you called, “have you come for me?”

He didn’t answer, unsure how to.

Running into the burning shack, you stumbled out with your bag and watched the rest of your ramshackle home burn. By the time it had been reduced to a pile of ash and cinders, Geralt had made his way down into the ravine. He avoided your gaze but stared at the curve of your neck.

“They grow bolder every year,” you informed him. “See?” Slipping off the shoulder of your tunic, you presented a livid scar not many months old. “They will be the death of me—and I have not driven any of them mad.”

“Sirens have gone up in price.”

“I have no money to pay you, witcher, to spare me.”

He grunted. “I wasn’t hired to kill you. This time.”

“Until next time, then.”

“Wait.”

You obliged, dropping your gaze slightly so he could look on your face. Wary, he only glimpsed it before averting his eyes.

“They’ll keep coming,” he said.

“Yes.”

“What…will you do?”

“Nothing. We all die at the hands of men.”

Geralt felt something strange constrict his chest. “You can go to the Edge of the World.”

“The elves have no love for my kind. We are as dangerous to them as we are to humans. But thank you for the advice.”

Geralt watched you follow the river through the ravine and wondered why he wanted to tell you to stay.

~~

The fourth decade, he was hired yet again—by you. You tracked him for miles, following instructions given to you by a man in the town. No one had been bewitched therein, for you had bound your eyes with cloth, preventing them from being enthralled.

Only as you navigated the unused road did you remove the cloth. After a day of unceasing travel by foot, you approached Geralt’s campsite. Roach whinnied as you drew near, but she did not rear or cry out in alarm. Geralt sprang to his feet.

Having blinded yourself again with the cloth, you stood at the edge of his campsite.

“Witcher,” you called, “I have come for you.”

“Why?”

“I am being pursued.”

“By?”

“A group of armed men. They seek me out especially, not solely because I am a siren, but because I am the siren.”

Looking on your face, he saw weariness and fear lining your features. The tops of your eyebrows were drawn together, indicative of your distress.

“I have no coin,” you told him.

“You have to pay me.”

“I feared as much.” Pulling tight your threadbare coat, you asked, “May I at least share your fire? I have a penny to pay you for some food.”

Geralt hesitated. As much as he wished to help, felt compelled to—a feeling that worried him—he couldn’t help but wonder if it was a trap. A slip of his guard would be all you needed for you to enthrall him and make him do as you wished.

“I will wear the blindfold,” you assured him. “You won’t be afflicted.”

Grunting reluctantly, he tossed you a hank of meat from the spit roasting over the fire. You ate ravenously with less grace than he expected. Only then did he notice how frail you seemed beneath your coat, how few plentiful days you had seen since he last crossed your path.

A surge of feeling coursed through him, one he identified with an urge to protect. Protection wasn’t strictly in his purview, as he was more of an offensive weapon than a defensive one. Yet the urge remained as he watched you warm yourself in front of the fire, eerie with the blindfold covering nearly half your face.

“Have you found your peace?” you asked in the quiet.

“No.”

“A pity. But neither have I.”

“You don’t actually expect to find peace.”

You smiled thinly. “Surely I do. In death.”

Geralt nodded.

“There is a madness in driving men mad,” you said. “I can find no solace among people, and so, living alone in the most terrible of ways—among others—I know what it feels like to be driven mad.”

Geralt watched you as you spoke. The firelight flickered shadows across your beautiful face.

“Few sirens know it themselves. They live free in their youth, reveling in their power. Few make it beyond that. But those that do begin to run, and that marks their end.” You shook your head. “None of us choose this.”

Geralt tried to quell the emotions rising within him. He hadn’t chosen his path either, his life. Destiny had worked hard to bring him here, with all of life’s misery and suffering multiplied tenfold for his status as a witcher. If only the rumors of the elixirs and Grasses were true, that they could make him an emotionless monster.

Instead, he silently suffered beside a land siren who knew suffering intimately.

You disappeared by morning. The band of men pursuing you crossed paths with Geralt a few hours later. Choice words and a rough scuffle sent them back home.

~~

In the fifth decade, Geralt felt drawn to the sea. There was no work there by the ocean, but he drifted there anyway, away from the turmoil of the interior. Two miles away from a fishing port, the beach was unblemished, free of humans.

Only you were there, seated upon a rock at low tide, overlooking the serene waters.

“Witcher,” you called, “have you come for me?”

“I have.”

Geralt mounted the rock beside you, sat down on the rough and slimy surface. You stared out at the horizon, knees held against your chest.

He dutifully avoided your gaze.

“Witcher,” you said, “you shouldn’t fear me.”

He grunted.

“I do not affect your kind.”

Frowning, he glanced up, found himself staring directly into your eyes. They were gorgeous, truly enthralling—but though his heart rate spiked at being exposed to your naked gaze, he felt no different than he had upon arriving at the beach: pained and joyous. He couldn’t believe it.

“See? You are unaffected.”

“I…why didn’t you tell me?”

“What good would it have done? You needed something to fear to still consider me a monster.”

He cleared his throat. “You’re not a monster.”

“Neither are you.”

He wanted to say otherwise, but you were staring at him again. Fighting the feelings in his chest, he reached up and brushed away the hair from your eyes, curling the strands around your ear. The faint gills on your neck revealed themselves.

Leaning forward, he pressed his lips against yours. You kissed him back gently. You tasted salty, much to his surprise.

When he pulled back, he discovered it was because of the tears streaming down your face. He brushed them away, but you shook your head, holding his hand.

“Give me peace,” you whispered, “and return me to the sea. I was never meant for the land.”

Geralt avoided the ocean for five decades after, but the salty taste of your kiss never left him.

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[blu-joons]

The Making Of ‘You Calling My Name’ ~ Im Jaebum

Tears spilled onto the paper as he wrote down the lyrics, only hating himself further for ever making you cry. His mistakes had left him with heartbreak, and a catalogue of lyrics to put together to create his next masterpiece. It was the last thing that he wanted to write about, he never imagined he’d be left with the lyrical scars of you leaving.

As he sat at his desk, as he often did, he expected to hear you walk through the door. It became a habit for you both whenever you came home from work, you’d call out his name and let him know you were home and have a look at what he’d been working on.

“Jaebum!” You yelled, closing the door behind you as you stepped into the apartment. You followed the sound of his murmur back at you, opening up his studio door to see him slumped at his computer. “How’s it all going?”

“It will get better,” he mused, tapping his lap for you to sit in. “My inspiration is back with me now so I should be able to get back on with things.

Your eyes lit up, pressing a kiss to the tip of his nose. “So, who might that be then?”

“You of course, silly.”

The silence killed him as he looked back at his laptop, the inspiration had left him now, the only memory he had of that inspiration was the fatal mistake he made that tore his life apart. The studio felt like it was closing in, the pressure of trying to come up with something.

As he began to think about all the things he done, he managed to scribble down page after page of regrets, plenty of comments of wishing that he’d never done what he had done.

“Y/N, please,” he mumbled, following you down the stairs as your suitcase crashed down behind you. “Where are you even thinking of going?”

You spun back around on your heels to face him, “I’m going anywhere away from you Jaebum, I’m fed up with being here and crying again and again. I’m worth more than this, you don’t deserve to treat me like this Im Jaebum.”

The last time he heard his name come from your lips still haunted him. He always held onto the fact that you’d come back to him and that it would be the last time he heard you call his name, but the anguish and torment was just a small price to pay for breaking your heart.

After hours sat at his desk, the lyrics all finally pieced together, completed, unlike the state he currently found himself. He never imagined missing his partner would hurt so bad, he wished and hoped that you’d come back and piece him back together again, but even he knew that you weren’t going to cave that easily.

With the song finally complete, the day finally came for the boys to debut the song on Music Bank. The list of artists performing was given to the boys as they made their entrance, JB’s eyes darted through it, spotting one familiar one at the bottom.

“She’s here,” he mumbled under his breath causing Jinyoung to turn back at him.

He reached out and pulled the piece of paper out of his hand, “she’s performing her song, don’t cause any trouble for her today,” Jinyoung warned him.

“I don’t want to cause trouble, I just want to hear her call my name,” JB sighed, snatching the list back, brushing his thumb over where your name was written before pressing the paper against his heart.

The corridors and the stage were places he’d walked several times before, he still remembered the last time he was at Music Bank, supporting you for your comeback, living the dream. He had the clearest memories of that day, and best of all, being with you at the moment you won.

For the rest of the day, his eyes had been hoping to fall on you, but you were nowhere to be seen. You’d also caught onto the rumour that the boys were performing, making sure to keep your distance so that you didn’t bump into him.

You crept around backstage as you noticed that the boys were next on stage, you looked next to the name of their song. ‘You Calling My Name.’ hit you like a tonne of bricks, as you glanced up at the stage and saw him for the first time, you paid close attention.

Throughout the entire performance, JB’s mind was only filled with thoughts of you, how bright the days used to be with you, the smile you always had whenever you heard him perform, how he wished that he’d be able to hear you call his name for one last time.

Your heart pounded as the song came to an end, quickly wiping under your eyes before anyone around you caught onto the fact that you were tearing. Your eyes focussed on Jaebum as he walked off the stage, completely unaware that you’d been at the other side all along.

Your head and your heart were still conflicted even once the show had come to an end, you were the first to admit that your performance wasn’t quite as you hoped, fogged by the vision of JB being in front of you for the first time in months.

As you closed your dressing room door, you glanced up the side of the corridor, spotting all seven of the members of Got7 leaving the dressing room just three doors down from you. Just as you tried to turn away, your eyes locked with Youngjae’s, noticing his eyes widen the second he saw you there.

Your body froze as he stepped aside so that JB was in your vision. You closed your eyes momentarily before looking across, staring at the back of his head.

“Im Jaebum,” you called out.

His body tensed up the moment he heard the familiar voice calling out his name. It took a moment before he turned around, feeling his eyes meet yours as soon as he spotted your figure down the corridor. Slowly, he began to step towards you, cautiously placing one foot in front of the other.

“Y/N,” he whispered once the boys were out of earshot.

Your head shook at how shy he had become, “I liked the song you guys performed, I could tell that you were into it.”

“Well, that’s all down to you,” he sighed, brushing his hands through the back of his mullet, “you’re the reason behind the song after all. You’re still a part of me, and somehow even thought you’re not around you’re still the biggest inspiration of my life.”

Your head nodded, leaning against the wall as you tried to keep your composure. “Are you really as regretful about what happened as the song suggests?”

“Even more so,” he assured you, finally bringing himself to meet your eyes. “You and me, we’re still one, we always will be, whatever happens won’t change that. You’re my reason Y/N, somehow even when you’re not a part of my life, you’re still there.”

You sighed gently, noticing the empathy that was in his eyes, a quality that you missed so much in him when he first decided to break your heart. Your body was pulling you in two different ways, he was still Jaebum, but still the one that had torn you apart.

“I want to hear you call my name again Y/N,” he confessed before you even had the chance to speak again. “I didn’t think I’d miss you this much, but all I’m asking is for one more chance to be able to prove myself to you.”

“You really think you can change my mind with one more chance?” You asked him.

His head nodded back at you, “say my name and I’ll prove it to you.”

“Im Jaebum,” you giggled, taking a step closer towards him.

“I’ll never make the same mistake again, just please come back to me Y/N.”

---

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