#I would sell my soul for cats if it was needed.

[the-dawn-star]

HEAR ME OUT! ….dabi and teen reader where they both get turned into cats 😈😈😈😈😈

A/N: Hey! I don't know how happy I'm of this (it's hard to write the characters being cats) but I hope you like it! (I tried to find a good real cat gif for this but tumblr is really lacking on that, so anime gif it is again!!)

-S

+200ish words.

So, the two of you were going to the closest store.  

But your plans were ruined when a person’s quirk activated accidently hitting both of you.  

For a moment you both froze, not knowing what had just happened and how to go from there.  

Somehow you found a way home. I mean you had to climb through a window. 

Dabi was surprisingly calm through all of this, only losing his patience when he realized that he couldn’t burn the person to crisp.  

Quickly both of you realized that you couldn’t do much as you were now. So, as the only option you jumped to the couch and made a tiny little cat pile surrounded by the blankets that always stayed on the couch.  

Toga was more than confused when she came out to check on the two of you because she hadn’t heard of you in a while.  

She didn’t expect to find the cat pile on the couch but decided to take a million photos of you.  

After you turn back to humans again Toga will be the first person to find the person who caused this problem in the first place (she will bed them to use their quirk on you again, just so see the cute cats again).  

TLDR: It’s adorable and I love cats so much!!

~~~

Feel like you want to support me via Kofi? No preasure tho!

[huskersbooze]

Who's in Control?

Alastor x Reader

| Part 1(here!) | Part 2 | Part 3 |

Summary : You sold your soul to Alastor and had no idea how big of a deal this was. Until recently, you finally learn what it means, and realize all that Alastor had been doing was just a lie.. or was it?

Pairing : Alastor x F!Reader, Huskerdust? (M!Reader here, Gn!Reader here)

Warnings : swear words

Additional Tags : Angst, miscommunication, misunderstandings, Alastor actually being nice?!, no use of (Y/n)

Ib : Who's in Control By Set It Off

Word count : 1.8k

"Good morning, dear."

"Morning, Al." You reach the lobby and take a seat on the floor next to Alastor's chair.

"How was your sleep, darling?"

"It was good! And yours?"

"Aha, hilarious, really. You know I don't sleep, my dear." He places a hand on your head and gives your hair a ruffle. "You really do know how to brighten my day."

The rest of the team reaches the lobby, and you all gather around for your daily dose of trust exercises.

-----

You and Alastor had been growing closer and closer ever since your arrival at the hotel. There was no doubt that he was your favourite person there.

And, well, for Alastor, he never wanted to admit it, but everyone in the hotel could tell, and even he was aware.

He was growing a soft-spot for you.

It was never supposed to be this way. He was never meant to grow attached. It just somehow happened, and that was that.

Everything between you two was going great. Except for that one little issue that bothered Alastor.. but you didn’t have to know. He never tried to abuse any of that power when he asked for your soul. He never thought of doing anything to you.

But there comes a time in every relationship where a lie can ruin it all.

“Hey, sugar. How ya’ doin’?” Angel Dust leans by the bar counter, greeting you as usual.

“I'm doing decent. Husk and I were just talking about you.”

“We were fuckin’ not!” You watch as the cat's ears twitch, the drink he was originally pouring tipping over.

“Oh, really? No need ta’ lie Husky~” You laugh at Angel's teasing, which makes Husk let out a low growl. “At least I don't gawk over a certain demon so obviously.”

“Hey! Are you talking about me and Al?”

“Who else would he be talkin’ about?” Angel tilts his head to the side, giving you a knowing glare. “Ya’ can't even deny it.”

“Al and I are just friends.”

“Kid, Angel's right.” The cat can only do so much but sigh. “You don't know him as well as I do. He treats you differently.”

“Still, we're just friends-”

“The Radio Demon doesn't do ‘friends’, kid.”

“Yeah, well, he owns my soul. Of course he'd treat me differently.”

The way it so simply came out of your mouth like it wasn't some big deal. Both Husker and Angel Dust froze in place, staring at you wide-eyed.

“What? Did I say something wrong?”

“What.. what did you just say?” The spider can hardly comprehend the news you'd just dropped.

“He owns my soul..?”

“Kid. What the actual fuck?!”

“What the fuck did he do to you?! Ya’ alright?! Are you hurt?”

You watch as the two demons skim your body up and down, firing questions at you, checking up to make sure you weren't hurt.

But you were confused.

“What's going on? Why are you guys suddenly acting so strange?”

“Wh- Why did you sell ya’ soul to him?!”

“Fuck I knew he was up to no good!”

“He told me by selling my soul to him he'd protect me from everything and anything at all cost. I didn't see a reason to decline?” You reply to Angel's question, ignoring Husk as he mutters about himself being correct. “I got nothing to lose.”

“Ya’ got everything to lose, shitass.” You hear his voice start to crack slightly as you realise tears welling up in his eyes.

“Angel?! Hey, what's wrong?”

“Damn, kid. You really don't know shit, huh?”

“About..?”

“What it means to sell your soul.”

“I know what it means, Al said-”

“Forget that fucker.” Husk practically spits out his name. “D'you know why I work here at the bar?”

“Because you like your job..?”

“No. It’s because I was forced by the person I sold my soul to.”

“Who..?”

“Hell, kid.. you really can't take a hint?”

And just like that, he says one more name, and your whole world comes tumbling down on you.

He didn't actually care for you, he was just shaping you in case you came to use.

He didn't actually enjoy your company, he was just watching you to make sure you were obedient.

He didn't actually mean any of the things he said. He was just trying to manipulate you.

And you were so damn lost. So damn lost as to whether the control and power you thought you had, really belonged to you.

“Valentino is an overlord.. and he's your boss?”

“Yup.” Angel nods.

“And he owns your soul like Al owns Husk’s?”

“Exactly.” Husk replies.

“And there's no escaping this contract..?”

“No.” The two reply together.

“Fuck.”

-----

“Greetings, my dear! How are you on this fine morning?” The static sounds from Alastor's usual seat at the lobby where you all gather every morning.

There's that usual smile etched on his face, which, you used to believe looked genuine when he was talking to you, but it seemed that wasn't the case.

“Hey, Husk. Hey, Angel.” You greet the two on the couch, completely passing by Alastor and ignoring his whole existence. “Mind if I sit?”

“Yeah, go ahead.” Angel scoots over and makes space for you to squeeze between Husk and himself. “Ya’ look like hell.”

“You alright, kid?”

“Couldn't sleep much last night, but I'm fine.” You reassure them.

The rest of the crew were a bit startled at your display, knowing well that you refused to not sit by Alastor's chair, normally.

And here you were, ignoring him completely like he was no longer relevant, and hanging with the other two demons.

“Okay.. what an interesting way to start the morning!” Charlie tries to break the ice.

Everyone turns their attention towards her.

Everyone but Alastor.

He was practically fuming with rage, anger, irritation, but yet, a tiny bit of worry.

How dare you ignore the Radio Demon like he was some piece of useless trash?

But then again.. why were you suddenly acting so cold and distant? What did he do wrong?

He couldn't help but focus his attention on you throughout the entire day, but you didn't even spare him a single glance.

Needless to say, you felt a knock on your door that night.

“Darling, how wonderful to see you! Wonderful, really. Mind if I come in?”

“A little. What do you need, Alastor?” You stand at the door frame, hand still on the door handle, prepared to slam the door in case anything happens.

Meanwhile, Alastor was pissed. You had never rejected inviting him in for late night chatting, in fact, you never rejected anything from him.

“It's nothing, really. I just hoped to have a friendly little chat with you, if that's alright?” Alastor leans down to your level, tilting his head and giving you his usual smile he reserved for you, and you only.

“A bit busy. Maybe next time.” You attempt to close the door, but a hand swoops in and, damn, was he strong.

“Dear, what seems to be the issue?”

“I’m really busy, Alastor.” You sigh. His ears twitch at the name. Where were all his sweet little nicknames? Why were you only referring to him by his full name?

“Clearly, something is wrong, and I ought to find out what I had done to deserve such treatment.” He states, making himself welcome in your room. “Talk to me, darling.”

“Oh enough with the pet names, I’m not your fucking pet.” You roll your eyes, closing the door behind you to make sure no one stumbles upon your little predicament.

Alastor stiffens, then laughs.

“Whatever are you talking about, dear? Of course you’re not my pet.”

“The damn contract says otherwise..” You watch as Alastor shifts uncomfortably, his back still facing you. “I should’ve known you just wanted another soul. Fuck you, Alastor.”

You continue on about how you never should’ve trusted him, and how you finally knew about everything so there was no point in him pretending to tolerate you.

Alastor, however, could barely process anything you were saying. He could hear his own static in his own head, and it was growing louder and louder.

What the fuck was happening? How did you know? What did he ever do? Where did he go wrong..?

“Darling, please.. You don’t understand-” The radio filter in his voice was off, his actual voice coming out as a soft plea.

Taken aback, you stopped talking. Alastor turned to face you, smile still etched high and proud, but his eyes looked like he was about to break.

“Alastor..” You murmur. “I just don’t think I can trust you anymore. I’m sorry.”

“When have I ever used any of that power on you?!” Alastor snaps, eyes darting all over the place, trying to find out what to do to fix all this. “I’ve been nothing but nice! I.. I helped you when you were in trouble! I did nothing to hurt you..”

You watch as Alastor starts losing his usual composure, having it slowly drifting away.. It was heartbreaking seeing him like this, but you couldn’t bring yourself to forgive him and pretend nothing happened.

“It doesn’t matter when you’re in control..”

“No.. darling, no! You’re in control!” He scrambles, grabbing you by the shoulders.

“Really? I’m not sure I trust any of that bullshit anymore.”

“Dear, please, listen to me..!”

“I'm sorry, Al.. I think it's best if you leave.”

He pauses.

“Have a good sleep, dear.” He says, voice filter completely off. It was a rare occasion getting to hear his sweet voice. Too bad it had to be under such circumstances.

-----

“Oh my, Alastor, what's got your ears pinned back?” Rosie leads her friend through the halls and has him take a seat opposite of her. “Is everything alright?”

“No.. no it's not.” He replies. “She found out.”

“About the deal?”

“No, Rosie. No.” He sighs. “She found out what selling her soul to me actually permits me.”

“But you never wanted to abuse that power, did you?”

“Of course not.”

“Then, I'm assuming you didn't tell her?”

“No.”

“Well, why not?”

“Would it make a difference?" She could practically hear him scoff. "She's irritated at me as is. It's not like she'd even heed my words."

“Come, now, Alastor. You know as well as I that the sweetheart would listen.” Rosie tuts, waving a hand at him.

“She doesn't need to know how powerful she actually is.. she doesn't need to know her soul is being gambled this very second.”

Alastor sighs, getting up from his chair.

“Thank you for your kind words, Rosie. I shall take my leave now.”

“Take care, Alastor.” She smiles. “I'm sure she'll understand.”

“I surely hope you're correct."

———/ TBC. /———

READ PART 2 HERE

[lisired]

the devil’s cup

pairing: demon!haechan x (f) reader

genre/warnings: smut, oral (f receiving), demons/underworld, mentions of death and self-destruction, unprotected sex/breeding (don’t be silly, wrap your willy!), edging, very slight degradation

summary: In a world where humans and demons are separated by earth and the unknown, you’re curious about the creatures that most mortal beings are too frightened to investigate. More specifically if they can please you sexually. As they say, curiosity killed the cat.

wc: 6.8k (this is the shortest fic I’ve done in a minute)

a/n: quick (and short) write! as always, feedback is appreciated!

There was a bit of division between the upper and underworld. 

That said, that never prevented the interaction of humans and infernal spirits. It only limited them, though even with said inhibitions in place, forbidding could only go so far within mortal control. 

Not everyone was god-fearing. Least of all demons. 

Though you weren’t exactly fearless, you were curious to a fault. Human knowledge of the underworld was limited. You lived in a world where plenty of supernatural beings - werewolves, faes, vampires and the like - coexisted in an integrated society, but demons lived in an unexplored world of their own.

Which, obviously, was the underworld. 

The church insisted it was for your own sake. You had practically never mentioned your intrigue to anyone, though that was chiefly because you were terrified to. The pastors were passionate in their sermons, deeming anyone who played with the devil a sinner beyond redemption and a betrayer of faith. You knew you’d be thrown scornful glances in an instant. 

You weren’t the only curious one. There were plenty groups of people who conjectured about the underworld and its occupants. Which was not an option for you for many reasons. First of all, they teetered on extremism. Second, you would undoubtedly be banished from society for so much as breathing near them. 

Your only option was your friend. Who happened to be supernatural himself. 

Ten laughed. “Let me get this straight. You want to fuck around with the devil?” 

You frowned. Though you definitely preferred the ridicule over the comtempt. He, however, wasn’t exactly in the place to mock you. “Come on, Ten. Didn’t you call on a succubus?” 

“Correction - you want to fuck the devil.” 

“Ten,” you whined. 

Ten shook his head. This was hilarious, because you were completely serious. It was also somewhat worrying. Most humans that had toyed with the devil for too long never survived. “Babe, I’m a vampire. Have been for sixty-two years. I’m technically in my eighties. You, sweetheart, are a human. Incubi can kill mortals like you.”

No wonder he tended to act like a cranky grandpa. You folded your arms stubbornly. 

The truth was that you were searching for a way to spice up your sex life and strangely enough, a demon sounded like exactly what you needed. You were desperate at this point. The men earth had provided for you were useless. You could count on both hands how many times you had given them a try and were ultimately unsatisfied. You were out of options. 

“One time won’t hurt, right?” you asked, batting your lashes. “Please, Ten. I just want to try. I can only die if I do it continuously.” 

Ten blew out a sigh. “Woman, you’re insane.” 

You whined, “Pretty please? I’ll literally buy you those Starbucks drinks you like everyday for a month. I need this.”

Ten mulled the offer over. On one hand, this was not only dangerous, but deadly. There was a chance that he could risk losing you in the process. But on the other, you were a responsible adult woman. It wasn’t like you would be selling your soul. You’d simply be testing the waters. “Fine. I’ll help you, but you better only do this shit once. I’ve had to bury a friend before. I don’t wanna go through that hell again.”

You lept up excitedly and cheered, “Thank you, thank you, thank you! I love you so much.”

“Whatever,” Ten said, rolling his eyes. “I’ll be back later with the stuff. And I’m taking it back after tonight.” 

Frankly, you couldn’t care less. You knew your best friend was only trying to protect you, and you genuinely didn’t intend on disobeying. You were curious, not stupid. Nor did you have a death wish. 

Ten reappeared later that night with the materials necessary to summon a demon. Technically, you could have done it without them, but that would’ve been a much more ineffective, chance-based approach. It also most likely would have taken way longer. According to Ten, the board had a ninety-percent success rate. 

He had told you, “Unless you’re like, extremely unfuckable, it’ll work for sure.”

You snorted. 

That was how you met Haechan. 

Black smoke rose from the ground, wavering murkily with a ghastly noise until it dwindled fainter and fainter. You took a step or two back, holding your breath with curious fear as you waited for the mist to clear. 

Once it did, the handsomest man you had ever seen materialized before you.

You audibly gasped. Frankly, you weren’t sure what you were expecting, but it wasn’t this. His dark hair was slicked back, forehead exposed to the breeze that temporarily coursed through your home, and he was tan-skinned. Like the heat of hell had graced his body. 

His pretty lips curled into the utmost smuggest grin. “Aren’t I lucky? I could feel that you would be gorgeous.” 

“You could feel it?” you repeated dumbly. In your defense, you were stunned. 

The average idea of a demon was a grotesque blood-hungry monster and needless to say, this nameless boy didn’t fit the bill. Part of you was half certain that Ten was pranking you, firm in his decision that it was foolish for a human to engage with a demon. He seemed like a regular, everyday being. Except maybe not. Most men weren’t this beautiful. And his presence was inexplicably strong.

Haechan scoffed, “Yeah? How else do you think I got here? I could feel your energy. It was calling me.” 

The room reeled. The air felt different, thicker. Your body lighter. There was an air of danger to this boy with a trace of something else that you were equally drawn to. 

Energy. Was it possible that you could feel his energy too? 

Given you were in a state of mental narcosis, more or less the effect of his aura, Haechan gleaned you wouldn’t respond and instead approached you. It felt like you were jolted awake when his warm skin pressed to yours, his lips and breath ticking your neck. 

“Haechan,” the demon whispered, but it felt like the thrumming of the wind. “That’s the name I want you to say tonight.”

Heat wafted over you. You nodded, because you couldn’t say another word. As if an invisible hand was clasped around your throat. 

Haechan coiled an arm around your waist, forcing your back flush against his chest. “Tell me what you want,” he purred. Your thighs were bare and he snagged the opportunity to grope them, free hand leisurely rising higher. For now, they landed squarely at your ass. “So I can help you.”

You swallowed hard. Part of you was afraid, but the other was enticed by the danger. It always had been. Your voice lacked complete confidence. “I… wanted something new. The men here aren’t adequate. I needed something else.” 

“Oh?” Haechan cocked a brow and snickered. “Don’t worry about that tonight, baby. I’ll make you forget about everyone except me.” 

For a while, you had been at war with yourself, dithering between your options. But Haechan had tempted you. Whatever fight you had abandoned you as he brought you to your bed. 

Every alarm in your body was ringing, sirening to you that danger was near at hand, but the soft lulling of his voice abated your panic. The horns were blown, but you were too far gone to hear them. 

Haechan lay you at your backside and you swayed like a leaf, throat parched dry when you glimpsed into his eyes. They were red with lust, dark as blood. “Don’t look so scared,” he reproached, but it was of little substance given the smidgen of a smirk you’d seen on his lips. 

You were still tongue tied and at a loss for breath, never mind words. 

Haechan’s touch wasn’t gentle in the slightest as he came to tear your clothes away, shredding them layer by layer. His fingers skimmed against your body and your skin scorched where he touched you. 

Admittedly, it was somewhat true that you were frightened, but this was exactly what you needed to fill the empty chasm of excitement in your sex life. Between thrill and fear, the feeling that coursed through your veins was indistinguishable. 

You had cycled through mortals and been left unimpressed each time. There was bad, and then there was decent. You wanted neither. You wanted someone to go above and beyond. They tended to do only enough to barely get you there. If even. You’d seen it all; you wanted mind-blowing.

You shivered at the cool sensation of the air against naked skin, but it was immediately negated by Haechan’s body heat. Still, it wasn’t enough. You whimpered, “Touch me.” 

“Eager, aren’t we?” Haechan snickered. “Say please.”

You didn’t hesitate. “Please. I need you to touch me.” 

Satisfied, Haechan snatched your panties with a final tear and skirted a hand between your thighs. They were already open and parted, welcoming him keenly. 

It was only when you felt his slender fingers scissoring between your thighs did you notice how wet you were. The thought alone had been arousing. The sight of him even more. It was the weaving of those individual factors that had you gathering in his palms like water. 

Haechan shook his head with mirth. “Something tells me that you don’t get wet like this too often. Do you, baby?”

The answer to that was so embarrassingly obvious that you wanted to shrink until nothing remained of you. Your cheeks stung. “No. Not really.” The more you thought about it, you couldn’t remember the last time you had been so aroused. 

If ever. 

“Aren’t you a little sinner,” Haechan said and chuckled to himself. Needless to say, he was amused. A pretty girl like you that could most likely have any guy she wanted calling on a demon because the men on earth can’t satisfy her? He was delighted. And almost humiliated on their behalf.

Like the cruel demon he was, he added, “It’s a little pathetic, don’t you think? Getting wet for me when you could easily find a human to fuck.” 

You whined, but ironically pulsed around his fingers. Those words were as true as they were humiliating. His fingers coaxed into you with a loud, wet squelch. 

Haechan eyed you with the intensity of a ravening werewolf. The likes of you were familiar - pretty girls that were too curious for their own good and went looking into entities where they had no business for pleasure. Never would you be the first or last, though regardless he had a job that he was more than glad to fulfill. 

Pleasure played out on your face. That said, you wanted more. You had always considered that maybe you were the problem. Maybe you were the one at fault because you were too greedy, too insatiable. Enough was a word of little subtance to you. 

But you noticed a sort of stark divergence here. With your previous conquests, you were unsatisfied because they took pleasuring you as if it were drudgery. This was more or less a job for Haechan, yet in spite of that, he seemed enlivened. 

Boys came a dime a dozen. Pleasure like this? It was a luxury far beyond your worth. 

“Fuck me,” you whispered. You were even willing to beg, if that was what it took. 

“Mm, no. Not yet,” Haechan said, having a good chuckle at the look of incredulity on your face at your expense. 

Never had you ever been turned down. It was always you that turned people away. Men that were bound to be disappointments in the sack lined up for you. They never hesitated to take advantage of your desperation. 

Haechan curled his fingers, sending every wall of the room reeling. Your pupils dilated when he leaned in, firmly holding your jaw to make you meet his stare. “Human boys don't build you up, do they? They just take what they want and leave. I'm going to take my time with you, baby.”

You doubted anyone had ever uttered anything like that to you before. 

His grip slackened. Not many words needed to be exchanged, the two of you content with the sounds of your soft moans and wet cunt filling the air. 

The glimmer of mischief on Haechan’s face turned pensive. “Can’t decide how I want to fuck you. What about you, pretty thing - how do you want to be fucked?”

You felt your cheeks warm in response to his question, though you had a contemplative answer. Any additional eye contact would have landed you in an early grave, but you wanted him to take control. Too many times had you had to take the lead because you chased your own pleasure. You were in dire need of relaxation. 

And if you were being honest, you'd let him have you any which way. 

“From behind,” you replied, clinging to the pretense of indifference. 

The mischief returned at the speed of light and Haechan taunted, “Scared to look me in the eyes?” 

You blurted, “Can you read my mind?”

“Yes.”

Every functioning gear within you halted and your body slammed on the brakes. Made worse by the serious look on his face. 

Then, Haechan erupted with laughter. “Sike.” You were relieved, though not amused. “I’m just fucking with you. I’m not psychic.” 

As if to apologize for the massive scare he’d only just now given you, Haechan swept in and pressed a brief yet unnaturally hypnotic kiss to your lips.

You felt like you could die at any given moment, but strangely enough, you liked it. 

It was game over when he interposed another finger between your walls, tall and slender. You were plagued by so many emotions all at once that you hardly realized how close you'd gotten in no time at all. Time expedited, but the minutes ticked slower.

You grabbed Haechan’s wrist, fighting for control of his movements, though not that he needed much guidance. It was an act of bad habit, you supposed, but Haechan smirked and let you do as you pleased. For now. 

“Haechan,” you whimpered, reminded of the name you were instructed to say. 

The man in question eyed you with a lustful awe. It was the first time you’d said his name and brother, was it a delightful noise. He hummed, “Close?”

You bobbed your head. No words needed to be said. The way your entire body responded to his touch as if it was owned by him was enough of an indication. 

In a mere instant, you felt empty and desolate, warmth fading into crisp ice without warning. You whimpered, turning to look at the culprit, but met with only a smug smile. 

No way in hell had this demon just edged you. 

Haechan beat you to a word and explained, “I want you to cum on my dick. Is that alright, princess?”

“Please, hurry,” was your desperate response. You had no protest. You simply needed to feel him as soon as possible. 

Haechan had a nice laugh at the sight of you trying to find his hands anew and fuck yourself against them, but retrieved them, bringing his fingers that were coated in your slick to his mouth and sucking them clean. Ironically, you tasted like heaven. 

You moaned when Haechan kissed you, his saliva palliative to the ache of the wait and wanting. It took your mind off of the throbbing between your sensitive thighs while he shredded what remained of his clothes. You were so wrapped in his dark magic, a pawn in his devilish game, but you didn’t care. He could destroy you until you were no longer flesh and bones and you'd say, “Thank you.” 

Haechan was ready with burning lust and he growled, “Hands and knees.” 

You didn’t hesitate to scramble into position, as if he'd punish you for wasting a second of time. Every voice in your mind was subdued and you only listened to the thudding sound of your racing pulse. It screamed even louder the closer Haechan’s body came into yours. 

A gasp tore out of you the moment you noticed his cock stretching you open, ceasing the long wait. It was accompanied by another hushed growl, Haechan’s hands finding purchase at your hips. He filled you nice and slow, the pace so agonizing that you were tempted to believe he was testing you for the sake of toying with you. 

“Don’t tease. Please,” you begged. “I want you to fuck me - hard.” 

Haechan cocked a brow, but made no protest. “Whatever my pretty girl wants.” 

You fought for breath when every inch was encased between your warm and wet walls, pulsing around his thick cock. Haechan penetrated you with a hiss at how you swathed around him so tightly. 

Your body came alive at the touch of the undead, responding to his body with voracity. Haechan had no intention of restraining himself, ramming his hips into yours vigorously. He set a brutal pace, enough to sate you and your unnatural urges. For now. Your flesh scorched with fever, broiling under his fingertips yet craving more of him, more of the singe. You were indescribably elated. 

Haechan seized you to a bruising extent and braced his teeth into your shoulder, effectively smothering a noise. You let out a cry of pain and pleasure, warped together to create some inexplicable sensation.

“So goddamn tight,” Haechan hissed, giving your ass a smack or three. Every thwack sent you clamping even tighter. “You like it rough?”

Between a thread of moans, you whimpered, “Yes.” But the way he drove his cock into you - hurried and ruthless - bundled your head into the mattress, your cries smothered by the pillows.

Haechan latched onto your hair, letting out a hollow, breathy laugh when you moaned. You were so eager to take him, never shying away from his actions.  

It was paranormal, like nothing you had ever felt before. You'd yet to discern the invisible shroud of mist that billowed in the air, the spine-chilling gale that swept over you and chaperoned his presence, but you loved it. It kept you on your toes and made you hold your breath. Something to this extent felt forbidden, like you were getting a taste of pleasure beyond human capacity. It was an ethereal and otherworldly type of pleasure.

You felt so light that you could topple over from one breath. 

Haechan’s eyes lingered on the way your whole body tremored at the impact of his thrusts, your ass meeting his cock with a slap and your breasts bouncing underneath you. Your body was gradually beginning to be coated in bruises and scratches, remnants of him that would linger even after he was long gone. 

You loved that he was rough, loved that he fucked you like there was no tomorrow without overdoing it. He only had one night to give you the best dick of your life and was successful so near in. 

Many had tried, but many had failed to fuck you like this. You knew you would be sad to see him go. 

“Oh my god,” you cried, your voice given an outfall for speech courtesy of the way Haechan lifted your head by your hair. You were melting into abyss. 

Haechan tugged at it a little rougher and demanded, “Tell me you love this.” 

“I love it. I love it so much,” you babbled. Your thoughts were revoked. Your body was on fire. You knew one thing and it was the feeling that lit you off and riled you up. 

The demon boy smiled. He wasn’t psychic, but he knew how you felt without saying. It was in how your body responsed to his, submitting to his every move. Your body betrayed you, presenting all of your emotions on a silver platter. 

Haechan discerned you were near your climax and leaned closer, teeth grazing over your shoulder when he growled, “You’re close.”

It wasn’t a question; you were close. That much was obvious. You could only bob your head, blabbering more hardly coherent sentences that he found amusing. 

You fisted the pillows and sheets for dear life, clinging to whatever you possibly could to anchor yourself. You felt like you had been put together solely to be destroyed afresh. As if his intention was to shatter you piece by piece. 

In that case, he was doing a damn good job. 

If possible, Haechan’s pace became even more merciless. “Let go,” he coaxed surprisingly gently, strumming you to climax with his fingers at your clit. Your body one-hundred percent intended to obey him, unable to defy its urges. 

You screamed with orgasm, burying your face into the pillows to smother your cries of pleasure. Tears welled in your eyes, rivulets trickling down your cheeks. Your body felt whole and empty all at once, overcome by an overwhelming sense of relief. Even after you came, you were still pulsing around his cock, eager to get him there. 

“Cum,” you begged, still waiting for him. “Please?” 

The desperacy in your voice practically finished Haechan then and there, and he grunted, “Fuck.” There was no way he could tell a pretty thing like you, “No.” 

Haechan found a bruising grip on your ass to anchor himself and his cock twitched with release inside you, his mouth parting with a series of moans and growls. You whimpered when he filled you, painting your walls with warm cum. Only then did your spent body slacken, collapsing exhaustedly against the sheets. 

Haechan flipped you on your back and kissed the corner of your lips. There was something abnormally soporific about the way he tasted, because your eyelids began to weigh more than your body altogether. 

“That’s it, baby. Go to sleep,” Haechan whispered, lulling you to sleep with his gentle voice. 

There was nothing to fight. Your body lost all strength when you climaxed, and you succumbed to sleep in a matter of mere seconds.

“Atta girl,” was the last thing you heard before pitch black darkness bled into your vision. 

When you roused from your sheets in the morning, Haechan was - as expected - no longer there, but traces of last night remained. Your bed was a mess, but you were in shambles, hair tangled on your bed and your body stained with tears, scratches and bruises.

Humorously, though somewhat questionably, only none of his semen was there. You wondered if demons could get humans pregnant. 

You were elated, but somewhat disappointed. From the beginning, you were aware that you couldn’t see him again, but after last night, you were desperate. There was no way in hell he could show you a good time to simply never see you again. It was unfair. 

The sound of your front door being pounded mercilessly startled you and you jumped out of bed, scrambling to cover your bare body and then rushed to the door.

When you opened the front door, Ten awaited you on the other side.

“You look like hell,” commented Ten offhandedly. You were always in wonder at how vampires could roam in the daylight, but allegedly, it was courtesy of potions and spell work. 

“I had a long night,” you deadpanned. 

Ten chortled and stepped inside. “I’m sure.”

You shut the door behind the pair of you and led him to your bedroom where your sheets were a disheveled mess on your bed. Last night had left the board on the floor to be forgotten. 

Disinterestedly, you plopped on your bed. There was a question billowing like fog in your brain and you feigned your most indifferent tone when you asked, “Will he want to come back?”

Ten thought nothing of your question and shrugged, leaning over to pick up the materials you'd abandoned. “Depends. Demons know these… arrangements get messy. Some care, some like messy. It's not rare. Just in case, I’ll have a witch friend of mine fix a spell to ward evil spirits off.”

“Oh,” you replied, playing innocent. But that wasn’t what you wanted. You dwelled over last night and the thought of Haechan coming back for seconds. You weren’t special, that you knew. Demons of his kind has a nonselect variety to choose from, but you knew only he could pleasure you like that again. 

Like he was catching on, Ten added, “It’s not a good idea to give him a chance to get attached. Some demons are bitter and possessive. The moment they want you to be theirs, they’ll hurt you and anyone else who gets in their way in response to a perceived betrayal.”

His warning spooked you, but not by much. You assured Ten that you understood and would leave that night behind you. After all, with all the measures taken, it was out of your hands. 

One night became several. 

In your defense, you weren’t the one that summoned him. It was because of your energy. He always claimed he could feel you. You frequently laid brooding in your home, yearning for him to return. 

And then, he appeared. You knew when Haechan was there and when he wasn't. It was his presence. You could feel it in your chest. You couldn’t explain it, but whenever he was in range, a gust of cool air would sweep over your shoulders and a thick gale would strike your lungs, rendering you breathless. 

Haechan materialized in that same shroud of mist, snickering to himself when your startled figure trembled. 

You gawked when you saw him in full glory. “How the hell…” 

“Your friend isn’t the only one who knows a sorcerer,” Haechan grinned smugly. “I felt your yearning - did you miss me?” 

Oh, did you. You had spent the past couple of weeks trying to get yourself off the way that he had, but to no avail. There was only one remedy for you and you were forbidden to have him. 

“A little,” you admitted. Though you had a feeling he could see right through you, it was a lot easier to say compared to admitting you thought of how his hands felt on your body every time you touched yourself. 

“I think you missed me a lot,” Haechan teased, stepping closer. Meanwhile, you were riveted in place, unable to move. You gasped when his hands browsed up your dress, targeting your damp panties. “Are you saying this isn’t for me?” 

You tensed and whined, “Haechan.”

Haechan gave you a smile, the same devilish one he always wore. He slipped your panties to the side and brushed his slender fingers against your dampening cunt. “Tell me you missed me.” 

“I missed you. I missed you a lot,” you confessed without hesitation. “I… I’ve been thinking about you all day.” 

He cocked a brow and crammed a pair of fingers inside you. “Yeah? You been thinking about me fucking that tight little pussy?”

Your knees were bucking. You needed him more than you’d ever needed anything before in your life. “Please,” you cried. “Please, please…” 

The demon silenced you with a kiss that made you feel so light, you almost tipped over. He caught you in his arms and carried you to your bedroom. 

When you were finished, Haechan fell heaving at your side and groaned, “You’re always so goddamn tight.”

You giggled. “You love me.” 

Like you had said some forbidden word, Haechan switched on a dime and gave you a fair warning. “That’s the snag, baby girl. I can’t love you.”

That you knew, but it stung to hear aloud. You were by no means in love with the demon you'd only fucked on two occasions, but hell, he seemed like the best option. There was a bit of venom in your tone when you responded, “But you fuck me.”

“Yes. Because that’s what I do. I have sex with you needy little humans and drain you to death of your energy. Then the next one comes along and the cycle repeats. I can’t love you because you’re going to die some day, babe. Even sooner the longer you mess around with me.” 

You blinked. He was a hell of a lot more forthright than you expected. Haechan was going to fuck you within an inch of your life. Literally. 

That was how the cycle began. Haechan informed you of a simpler way to summon him and he began to visit you more often, stealing your nights away. You never mentioned him to anyone. If Haechan didn’t kill you in time, Ten would undoubtedly burn you alive. 

You loved spending nights with Haechan, and over time, those moments together bled into days and mornings. More often than not, you would talk the day away, discussing everything under the sun and moon. 

Six years ago. Those events culminated in this later two-part dilemma you’d brought upon yourself. 

Weeks turned into months. You were growing weaker. The venom was slowly killing you, contaminating your blood far beyond human reclaim. 

Additionally, everything the two of you had said about loving each other had gone terribly south. The more you got to know Haechan, the deeper you fell. And watching you fall drastically ill under his influence tore an unfamiliar feeling from his cold heart - fear. Losing you cooled his already icy blood. 

Haechan heaved a breath, trying to remain calm. The two of you knew that this would happened, but goddamn, he would have never predicted that he of all people would fall in love. It was almost laughable. “I can immortalize you, but there’s a catch.”

You eyed him expectantly. “Like what?” 

“You’ll watch the people you love die,” Haechan said morosely. “Your entire life will fade with your mortality.”

You frowned. That was a given, but you loathed the thought of that day. No matter how far in the future it may have been. There were always immortal beings to befriend at your disposal, but the current mortal ones - your family - would pass on without you. 

But even more, you loathed the thought of them having to bury you. You would take the pain in sacrifice if it meant they never had to feel the empty ache of lost. 

“Okay.” 

Haechan shot you a look. “Okay, as in what?” 

With shaky hands, you blew out a breath and told him, “I’ll do it.” 

Haechan interlaced your fingers between his and pulled you close. The last thing he wanted was to lose you, but he also wanted you to do this completely out of your own free will. “Are you sure? This isn’t some reversible shit. No take backs.” 

“I would rather bury my family than have them bury me,” you whispered fiercely. It was all you had the strength to do. “I made this mess, now I have to fix it. I can’t let them be miserable over a stupid mistake I made. I won’t.” 

Instead of recoiling from your slight outburst, Haechan held you even firmer. It was a sensitive spot for the both of you. There were available alternatives, none long-term. This was by far your safest option. 

Death was not an option. 

“If this is what you want,” Haechan said, like he was giving you one final chance to reconsider your choices. But you were firm in your decision. This was the price that you had to pay. “Everything will be okay. Baby, I swear.” 

God, you wanted to believe him with everything you had, but you were terrified. For as long as you'd known him, Haechan had always been more calm and self-controlled than you ever were, but even now you could see cracks in his demeanor. He wanted to be strong for the both of you, knowing you would shatter the moment he did, but this had him rending at threat of rupture. 

Haechan lowered himself to your height to be eye-level with you and asked, “Can you get dressed?” 

You bobbed your head. You weren’t completely deprived of your vigor. Not yet, although you had been passing through the days on preservation potions and the like. They could sustain you temporarily, but not for very long. 

The demon boy you loved brought you to a secluded area in the woods, timing your errand perfectly. Before dusk was preferable. Evil creatures lurked in the wilderness, preying on vulnerable humans like you. Not all were fond of humans and vice versa.

And you were already ailing. 

There was a tiny cabin across a river, lying at its bank. According to Haechan, it was home of a wizard. 

“Your friend’s a wizard?” you had asked. 

Haechan nodded. “Basically. But Mark prefers being called a warlock. Apparently, wizard is an offensive term that’s only used in fairytales. I still call him Wiz, though.”

You gave him a tiny nod. Many if not most magical beings lived in areas isolated from humanity. There was long, unaccounted for history between the two races and you couldn’t blame them for any resentment. 

But it also presented the fair chance that he wouldn’t want to help you. 

Haechan opened the door to the cabin and you treaded behind him like he was safeguarding you. There was a man behind a cauldron that billowed with green smoke. 

You took a glance around. The cabin was dim, sunlight filtering through the blinds of a single window upstairs. Candles and lanterns burned, scattered elsewhere. The warlock spared you not a glance, engrossed in his brewing, though you noticed a crystal ball on the table, reflecting a perfect view that overlooked the bridge. 

It most likely had warned him someone was approaching. 

Haechan put on his cheesiest smile and greeted, “Sup, Wiz. Been working out lately?” 

Mark slammed on the brakes and bristled. “Hell no. Whatever you want - the answer is no.”

Your demon boyfriend frowned, walking beside his friend to give a slight nudge to his side. “C’mon, bestie. I didn’t even ask for anything.”

Mark didn’t waste a second. “I know. And every time you compliment me, it’s only because you want something.” Then, the warlock shifted his gaze and seemed to finally notice you. “Who’s the chick - new piece?” 

Haechan rubbed his neck. “Yeah, about that…”

“Haechan, hell the fuck no,” Mark interjected as soon as he put the pieces together. “You know you have to talk to Johnny about that.” 

“See, that’s the thing. Johnny will kill me. And I’m technically already dead,” Haechan joked, trying to ease the mood. 

You swallowed like you could gorge all of your burdens with one gulp. Part of you was ready to accept that death was inevitable and tinkering with your fate was deadly. As a spirit from the underworld, maybe you could meet the boy you loved again, but you’d fade into a distant memory to everyone else you loved. 

Mark removed his spectacles and massaged his temple before he sighed. “Do you love her?” 

“Yes.” It was instant. He didn’t even need to consider it. That made you smile. 

“Like, for real?” Mark pressed. Like he was in disbelief. “I can’t waste time and casting energy on a pretty girl you just want to keep around for a little longer.”

Patience slowly dimming, Haechan snapped, “When have I ever cared if they lived or died, Mark?” 

You came to clutch his arm, and Haechan softened, switching on a dime. Much to Mark’s surprise. Even he couldn’t deny that you seemed to have an effect on Haechan - a grip that no else had. 

Haechan took a deep breath. “Look, my bad. But she’s special. I don’t know how it happened, it just did. And it would be easier to do a cord-cutting spell and toss her away, but I don’t want that. I want her.” 

A strained moment of silence passed before Mark finally groaned, “Fine.”

“So?”

“So, I’ll do the spell,” Mark said stubbornly. 

It felt like a weight was lifted from your chest and you could breathe easier when those words left his mouth. You watched Haechan’s face twist with relief, and he whirled you into his arms, hauling you with a supernatural strength that made you squeal and giggle. “Fuck. I forgot you’re not yourself,” he said and placed you back on the ground. 

You shook your head and smiled. Then, Haechan turned back to Mark with open arms and smirked. “Come here.”

Mark grimaced. “Absolutely not. I’m warning you. Come any closer and I’ll get Phantom.”

“Phantom?” you repeated, blinking. 

Mark whistled, and suddenly you heard a low caw fill the air. Then, you saw a creature fly from the single window at the speed of light and finally come to a rest at Mark’s shoulder. 

It was a raven. 

“My familiar,” Mark explained proudly. “Every warlock - and witchtress - has one.” 

Ignoring the way the raven - Phantom - was staring down your soul, you gave a quick nod and asked, “So, we’re really okay?”

“Yes. I’ll work on a spell for you as soon as possible,” Mark replied.

Haechan smiled and swept you into a kiss, then Phantom immediately began to caw as if she was trying to wake the dead. 

Haechan snickered and put his arms between you both. She was very prone to attacking. “Ladies, ladies. No need to fight. There’s enough Haechan to go around.” 

You snorted and rolled your eyes. But you were happy. You still had Haechan, and you always would. Nothing would come between you. Death or Phantom. 

Five years ago. 

Now, you were alive and well. And not only you, but someone else. 

After hours on your feet, you had never been more relieved to sit down. Ten eventually came to accompany you, having a good laugh at the weariness prominent on your face at your expense. 

“Tired?” he asked. 

“Try exhausted. I’m ready to drop,” you drawled. 

Ten laughed, then shook his head and smiled faintly. “Tell me how it’s been exactly four years and I still can’t believe I’m a godfather?” 

“Please,” you chortled. “They’re growing up so fast. I can’t keep up.” 

You had discovered the answer to a previous thought. Demons could get humans pregnant. As it turned out, you also had to confess to Ten that you’d been sleeping with Haechan for longer than he'd thought. After all, the evidence had been growing in your belly for nine months. 

Not one child, but two. 

Ten gave you a tiny nudge. “Haechan really did a number on you.” 

Through the corner of your eye, you could see him approaching and joked, “Speak of the devil.”

Haechan plopped down beside you, head in your lap, and said, “I’ve never had to work for anything in my life before those two.” 

You and Ten giggled. “Get off me, you big baby,” you said lightheartedly. “Who has them?” 

“Your mother,” Haechan replied, not budging like a boulder. 

Or so he thought. You were both caught off guard when your two four-year-old twins eagerly came running after you, refusing to give their mommy and daddy a break. 

Ten came to the rescue and leapt up, exclaiming, “Who wants cake?” 

As expected, your two tiny twins turned around as soon as they came, shouting, “Me!” Gratefully, you mouthed, “thank you” to Ten, who led the little army away to dessert. 

Haechan climbed into the seat beside you, and said, “We made this.”

“We did,” you replied, beaming. “And I love every part of it. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.”

“Me neither,” Haechan said, pressing a kiss to your lips. Now that the coast was clear, a mischievous smile crept onto his lips. “So, I was thinking that once we put the kids to bed, we could have our own little party upstairs.”

God, that sounded like heaven to you right now. “Say no more.”

Haechan snickered and lifted you into his lap. You rested your head against his lap comfortably. “I love you,” he whispered. 

“I love you, too,” you said, a smile tugging your lips.

Those three words summed up everything. There was so much you wanted to say. You wanted to tell him that you always wanted a family with him, that you wouldn’t have it any other way. That you knew in your heart that this was the way it was meant to be. But you settled for, I love you. And you settled because he already knew. 

“As much as we fuck, we should have expected twins.” 

Those words snapped you out of your train of thoughts and you stood to your feet. “Save it. We have a birthday party to celebrate.”

Haechan followed you, wrapping his arm around your waist. “Yes, ma’am. Mind if we go hit the dance floor in celebration?”

“Not at all,” you told him. 

And it was easily the most magical moment of your life being twirled around in Haechan’s arms, the rest of your little family soon coming to join you both.

[cryptidghostgirl]

Make You Wish Chapter Two -- Where Is She

Pairing: Alastor x Reader

Warnings: really super mild versions of cannon violence.

Word count: 2,072

Previous Part: Make You Wish Chapter One -- Seven Years

Master list link:

Master Lists 

Hazbin Hotel Master List 

Make You Wish Master List

A/N I accidentally posted this before I was ready tooo ahhhh!!! it's fine. Everything was already written I just had to format it properly and stuff.

Alastor had been at the Hazbin Hotel for only a few days and was already enjoying his time there greatly. It was an entertaining place, to say the least, and now that he had his feet under him, he was intent on making it even more so.

Charlie was pacing around the sitting room, stressed beyond belief. She had gone to speak to Adam the previous day to try and get his support for her plan, only to wind up with the news that the next extermination was coming in six moths, rather than the usual twelve. Alastor watched her duress in amusement as he sauntered into the hotel lobby, side stepping Angel, Charlie, and Vaggie to take a seat at the bar.

"It's nothing we can't handle," Charlie was explaining, trying to convince herself as much as anyone else in the room, "just angels cutting our timetable in half. But who needs a whole year to save souls? Am I right? And next time, when they cut the time in half again and again, we'll just handle it, right?!"

Vaggie got to her feet, grabbing her girlfriend by the shoulders and stopping her from her relentless pacing.

"Yes, we will." she confirmed.

"Oh please," Angel cut in from the couch, his eyes fixed on his phone, "ya had less than half a chance when you started all this salvation bullshit. And now...? Ain' no silver lining this time, toots."

"Sure there is." Charlie turned to him, "We just have to look a little harder for it."

"Well, while you're lookin', the rest of Hell is going nuts."

Angel turned his phone to Charlie, showing all the news headlines of terror he'd pulled up.

"People are already freaking out about the news. Look at what's happening in the Doomsday District."

He scrolled down to a video of a burning town just as a text notification popped up.

"Uh, what is a 'donkey show'?" Charlie asked in confusion, having read the text.

"Ah, heh, nothing." Angel pulled the phone from her line of sigh, trying to come up with a quick lie, "My boss, Val, is just freaked out about the news too. Like I said, everyone's losing their shit."

"Yeah, that is true." Vaggie hummed thoughtfully, a hand to her chin, "Sinners are desperate. Maybe desperate enough to try anything to escape extermination?"

"Speaking of sinners," Alastor said, drawing the attention in the room to him as he turned towards Husk who was busying cleaning glasses, "I think it's time I look up my old partner in crime."

"And what do I have to do with that?" the cat demon gruffly replied, not sparing Alastor a glance.

"Your partner in crime?" Charlie asked, taking a step towards the bar, "I always thought you... you know, worked alone?"

Alastor's grin widened.

"Oh never you mind, dear." he replied, throwing her a glance over his shoulder, "Just a lost soul I'm acquainted with is all."

"Yeah. You've been trying to get her to sell you that soul for what, the past seventy years is it now?" Husk scoffed.

Alastor's eye twitched slightly at the implication of his failure.

"If I wanted it, I would have it." he hummed threateningly, and Husk backed down.

"That's great!" Charlie exclaimed, "So she's a friend of yours? Do you think she'd help with the hotel? Oh! Or maybe that she'd want to be a guest?!"

"Charlie-" Vaggie began but Alastor quickly cut her off.

"I don't see a harm in asking." he cheerily replied.

"And you know her, Husk?" Charlie asked.

He looked up as he placed a clean glass on the shelf, shooting Alastor a glance before nodding.

"Do you think she'd be a good fit?"

He sighed, crossing his arms as Husk turned to face Charlie fully.

"She's a sweetheart, I think you'd get along well." he admitted, "But she's trouble, just like him."

Husk gestured towards Alastor and Charlie's smile widened.

"Well, with all Alastor has done for us so far, I think we could probably use more trouble like him."

"Oh you flatter me." Alastor waved her off, looking away in a false show of humility.

"No really." Charlie insisted, "You-"

"Show yourself, Alastor!" a dramatic call cut Charlie off mid thought.

----

"Um. Alastor?" Charlie hesitantly began, peeking out from behind his shoulder as she watched the havoc he was wreaking on the snake shaped sinner, "I think he's had enough."

Alastor cackled joyfully, not even watching as his shadows destroyed the air ship.

"Nah, he's got a few more hits in 'im." Angle disagreed, enjoying the show immensly.

The shadows tilted the ship forward, dropping Sir Pentious out through the broken windshield. He hit the ground with a thud, right before Alastor's feet. Stopping in his fit of laughter, he looked down at the man, spinning his microphone like a baton.

"Thanks for another forgettable experience." he teased as one of the egg creatures fell from the ship, splattering on the ground beside Charlie who took a step away.

"Thank... you..." Sir Pentious began, his voice pained as he raised his head slowly, "for letting your guard down!"

Almost before Alastor could register what was happening, the snake had grabbed onto his coat with his tail and torn a piece from its hem. Alastor took a menacing step forward, his eyes narrowed.

"Oh shit." Pentious' triumphant laughter died out.

Slowly, Alastor sprouted a pair of shadowy horns. With a snap of his finger, the ground under the snake detonated, throwing him up into the air and far away from the hotel with a scream. He watched as Pentious flew away, retracting his horns and standing with a hand behind his back. Once the snake was out of sight, he at last turned to Charlie and Angel, as well as Husk and Vaggie who had come out to join them.

"Well, it looks as thought I need a visit to the tailor." he hummed, "Husk?"

"Yeah?" Husk grunted.

"Where did you say she was again?"

"I didn't."

Husk crossed his arms defensively and Alastor took a step towards him, his smile a little smaller than normal. There was an odd air between the two of them, a tension every one present could feel biting into their skins.

"Whats that?" Alastor asked lowly, his head cocked slightly to the side.

Husk sighed.

"Last I heard she was working for some imp in Pentagram City." Husk reluctantly admitted, looking away, "As an assassin or something, I don't know the details."

"An imp, you say." Alastor thoughtfully replied, his expression unreadable.

"Look, Alastor." Husk turned back to his master, "Don't fuck this up for her. She seemed pretty happy last time I saw her. You disappearing like that wrecked the poor girl."

"Just means she'll be all the more happy to see me."

Alastor turned, beginning to walk away. At the sound of Husk speaking again, he paused, keeping his back to the quartet.

"Alastor, ju-"

Alastor turned his head, shooting Husk a critical look over his shoulder. It shut the cat demon up almost immedeatly.

"Best of luck, chums!"

"Wait, you're leaving?" Vaggie exclaimed, taking a step forward.

Irritation prickling beneath his skin, Alastor turned back to them once again. It had been seven years, he didn't know how much longer he could wait. Sure, he'd had time in Hell on his own, nearly twenty years of it. He didn't need her per-say, she just made things more interesting, more enjoyable. It just felt odd for them to be parted.

Sure, when they had first met, he had thought she was just an easy steal of a soul. Young, naive, frankly undeserving in his opinion of eternal damnation. But smart, smarter than she looked. Y/n had refused any and all deals with the man and so, he had taken it as a challenge. What had begun as a game: Alastor trying to gain ownership of Y/n's soul ended up as an after-life long friendship.

Alastor would never admit it to anyone but, in his absence, he had even missed Y/n the smallest bit. She kept things interesting, he told himself, that was all. Always causing discreet mischief, always quick with a joke. A true pleasure to have on the show, as he always used to say.

"Alastor, we need your help. We need you to do your job." Vaggie continued.

"We need a wall." Angel finished for her, gesturing to the portion of the hotel Sir Pentious had destroyed in his attack.

"Of course." Alastor replied, keeping an irritated remark at bay, "Can't let my new project fall into disrepair already. What would the papers say?"

With a snap of his fingers, minions made of shadows pulled themselves from the ground at his feet. So as not to give anyone another chance to stall him further, he quickly turned on his heel and walked off.

Alastor was a man of image, he kept his pace slow and firm. Couldn't have any of them getting any ideas in their heads about the nature of his relationship with Y/n. That had always been trouble in the old days. The minute people saw the pair together, they started assuming things. He had already decided he was going to be more careful about that this time around and this was the first step.

There was a slight bounce in his step as he headed into the city's center, an odd anticipation fluttering in his chest. Alastor pushed it to the side. It was simply the thrill of being back in his old stomping ground that was to blame. It didn't matter he'd already been back a few days and it should have worn off by now, he should just feel lucky to still be so entertained by this place he'd known longer than he'd even been alive. Right?

----

Y/n was sitting at Blitzo's desk, reading through paperwork he had neglected to fill out or file correctly. It wasn't like any one in Hell really payed their taxes, but the mess still stressed her out. She let out a sigh, leaning back in her chair and rubbing her eyes in irritation. She had never had to do this type of work before, not since she'd been alive anyways. How the times had changed.

Noise of Blitzo and Moxxie fighting filtered in through the closed door. It wasn't anything special, anything new. The pair were always at one another's throats, she wasn't worried. What would be worrying, was if things were quiet. This was just the way life sounded now: inelegant and brazen. Nothing like it used to.

The buzzing of her phone on the desk beside her pulled Y/n from her reveries and she picked it up. The collar lay heavy around her neck as she read the message. Y/n had made some bad choices along the way, figuring out how to be on her own. She wasn't pleased with them, but it was what she had had to do. Back then, she hadn't had the need to fight for herself in over sixty years. It was the only thing she could think to do.

She double tapped the text, marking it with a thumbs up before shutting her phone off and leaning her head down on the table. There was no point in wishing for things to be different than they were but, it was just that time of year and the text had pushed her over the edge. A few stray tears trickled out of her eyes.

"Goddamnit, Al." she sighed into the empty room, "Where the hell are you."

Silence pressed its hands against her ears, blurring her perception of the world around her. Y/n had a few seconds, a few nearly peaceful moments before, again, her thoughts were interrupted. This time, not by her phone but by Blitzo calling for her from the other room.

"Y/n!" he yelled and she lifted her head off the table.

"Yeah?" she called back through the closed door.

"Get your ass out here!"

"Why? A client? Can't you handle it?"

"Y/n!" he insisted again, a sense of urgency to his voice.

If this was anything less than an absolute emergency, he was never going to hear the end of it. She was not in the mood for his games today.

"Fine." she groaned and pulled herself from the chair, "I'm coming."

----

Next Part -> Chapter Three -- A Reunion

[sayruq]

Hello , I hope you’re doing well 🫶🏻

Me and my family need your help to survive from genocide in gaza,here our goFundMe link just read our story and help us if you can or just share it, we appreciated everything you would do.

https://gofund.me/38cab03b

Hello, I'm Khader Abu Sha'ban, and I'm 20 years old, I have a twin brother his name is Ragheb, and we are from Gaza City, We started the second year of our degree (designing and programming mobile applications). We live with a family of 9 members, they are all educated and have university degrees in the fields of engineering, programming, information security, administration, and law, We are the youngest in the family and we are the only ones who are still learning and we didn't end our degree yet.

Don't forget our beautiful cat - Kelwa – whom we consider a family member and we adopted him during the war when he was homeless in the street, however, he filled our lives with joy.

Before October 7th, Our life was full of goals, ambitions, and hope. and because we are identical twins I and my brother share everything in life and we have the same hobbies, actually we have the same life So we practice sports such as football, table tennis, and basketball and we are professionals in video games. we spend our time learning English next to our university education in the field where we found our passion which is Programming, and we have a small online store (Candles Store) to sell candles that we manually made. We have a goal to finish our university life as fast as we can to join the labor market of IT and open our startup company for techniques and applications with the great passion that we already have. this dream is growing day by day, but because of the war and the current circumstances, the dream started to fade, during the war educational institutions and Universities were destroyed in Gaza and the study was arrested. during the previous 8 months we have been unable to complete our education and estimates indicate that restoration of university status in Gaza will take time and may exceed years. The war came and destroyed our lives, our dreams, and our souls, My family did not decide to displacement to the south, despite all the suffering we had passed during this period and we decided to stay at home and not leave the beautiful memories, the idea of displacement to south and go to an unknown place that we don't have any relatives there was the most difficult for us to leave everything and not return back, so the decision was steadfast, non-displacement and patience on the suffering, but the war has been partially damaged our house because of targeting the house next to us, and damaged our beautiful memories and become ineffective to live, but thank God no one of my family has been hurt. The house went and we lost a lot of our beloveds (14 members of my cousins) and witnessed a lot of suffering in Gaza we were forced to internally-displacement east and west more than 5 times and it was very difficult to escape under the shelling at night and under The voices of aircraft and bombing and moving from a non-safe place to another non-safe place and don't forget the starvation that we still live in northern Gaza and dumping bombs, rockets and insecure until life became black for us. We won't forget the night of December 18th, when we lived the most terrifying night in our lives when we woke up at night to the voices of bombs and shells of nearby tanks and the glass and shrapnel on us, and I do not forget the voices of crying and the sounds of the SOS and we are unable to move even unable to breathe because of the hole of the smoke bombs that have thrown on us, I swear the horror of this night will accompany me to the last day My life. The horror of this night is repeated daily and there is no end and life has already black for us, after all this suffering we have reached a plan to rebuild the rest of our lives again elsewhere after we lost our house and members of my family as well as we lost the source income of my family this led us to seek help through this campaign, the raised funds will cover travel expenses for 9 people outside Gaza (where the travel coordination costing $ 5,000 per person) and $ 5,000 for addition costs for initial stability Abroad and $ 5000 initial amount to complete the study abroad for me and my brother. If the situation improves in Gaza we will use funds to restore our house and complete our education in Gaza or abroad, according to appropriate conditions.

These brothers have been raising funds since May and they've only received €678 so far. Please share and donate. Help save lives !!!!!!!

[melminli]

Devil's Advocate II

pairing: hazbin hotel x fem. reader

summery - after you died, you didn't really find it surprising to end up in hell. though, what you did find quiet amusing was that your life down here sucked just a bit less than the one before.

word count: 1.5k

contains: cursing, strong language, sinner reader, violence, religious themes (obviously), sexual themes, demon horniness

part I

"So...ya and that pretty lady over there seemed to be pretty tight, if ya know what I mean." Angel Dust asked curiously, ready to hear some tea. He grinned as he tilted his head to the side flirtatiously. "She some ex of yours, or somethin' like that?"

Husker just looked at him with his usual grim look while he was cleaning a few glasses. Then his gaze briefly wandered away to your figure, who was forced to deal with the Radio Demon and the Princess of Hell. Yeah, you haven't really been successful in getting out of this hotel yet.

"None of your business." He said with his monotone voice and let Angel hang his head in disappointment. "...I'm far too sober for this shit."

A groan could be heard. "Oh, come on, ya grumpy cat! Don't leave me high and dry, I know there's some good story to be heard!"

Before Husker could leave him hanging one more time, a red demon manifested next to them, much to their surprise. "I would also like to hear this good story, if you wouldn't mind sharing it with us, my good friend!" Alastor expressed his interest and looked menacingly at the barkeeper for a few seconds to make it clear that he did not have the privilege of turning his request down.

Fuck you, Larry. This is all your fault. "...we go back a long way." He reluctantly shared the information. "She was obsessed with money back then too, so I saw her in the same casino as me sometimes. Though, she died a long time before me, so I've only really known her since I went to hell." He summarized as briefly as possible.

Angel Dust raised an eyebrow. "That's it?" He asked, a little disappointed, even though he hadn't expected the man in front of him to be a good storyteller. "How did she die?"

Cat eyes looked a little nervously at the two people in front of him, while he didn't make a sound. How unfortunate, Alastor thought to himself, and his sharp teeth showed as he understood the situation. "Looks like Husker isn't allowed to tell us this information. That's very interesting! Very interested indeed..." He laughed, and his creepy gaze shifted briefly to your figure. "Seems like we need to find out directly from the source."

The once Overlord looked over at Angel Dust with slight concern and saw how the spiders' eyes were also glancing towards your form. It wasn't that he didn't trust you, but demons as reckless as him fell into your trap like flies to a web. Besides, it wasn't like he was on your best side right now. "I'd be careful." He said to the crowd even though he didn't give a rat's ass about Alastor. "She's not known for making packs with demons left and right for nothing, and I can assure you there's not the slightest chance of escaping from her contracts once you're in it." He said and added. "That's the price for holding up her end of the deal without any sneaky tricks, I suppose."

Well, that sounded unusual. After all, it was normal that one Demon after another stabbed the other in the back, there was no such thing as trusting the other person's word. But maybe that was why you were so popular. "Calm down, I'm not gonna sell my soul to her." Angel laughed. I couldn't even if I wanted to.

Husker placed another clean glass on the counter. "It doesn't have to be your soul. She'll find something she wants from you, and she's good with her mouth, so you'll give it to her. They all do in the end." He said and reached for a bottle of whiskey, ignoring the two incredulous looks he received. He took a sip and was initially confused as to what was going on with the two until he realized what he had said and choked on his drink. "Words! I meant to say words, damn it." He corrected himself.

Alastor didn't blink for a few seconds, and Angel, on the other side, just laughed amusedly. Maybe he wasn't so wrong with his first guess, after all. "Of course ya were."

"Well, thank you for your kind hospitality, but I'm afraid that I'll be taking my leave now." You spoke to the two girls. As much as Charlie regretted it, she couldn't convince you to spend a few nights at the Hazbin Hotel. Apart from the fact that she would have had a new guest, it might have enhanced the hotel's reputation if someone as renowned as you had visited. Though, unfortunately that didn't work out.

I've messed up again. Charlie tried not to look too depressed, even though she really was an open book. "Oh, all right. Thanks for listening to me."

You smiled while rubbing her shoulder. "Of course, darling." You replied, but that didn't really seem to cheer her up. You couldn't help but be a little gentler with her, she had a good heart for a hell born. "Let's make a deal." You suggested to her as an idea popped into your head.

Right after the sentence came out of your mouth, Vaggie narrowed her eyes and stepped protectively in front of her girlfriend. "Charlie doesn't make deals with demons like you." She said protectively, and you leaned closer to her at what she said. Your pupils narrowed to slits and two more eyes opened menacingly on your face. "What do you mean with demons like me, little lady, hm?" You asked her as the light in the room began to flicker, and you saw her continue to stand her ground, even though you could smell the slight fear emanating from her.

You pulled back again and returned to your normal self. "I'm just kidding, I know I'm a greedy bitch." You laughed out and saw how Vaggies eye twitch in irritation while Charlie laughed along a little uncomfortably. "Well, even though I wouldn't mind making an official deal with the little princess, I was thinking more of a friendly kind of deal." You suggested. "I'll put in a good word if the subject of your hotel comes up with anyone I know, and in return, I'd just like to ask you for a teeny tiny favor."

That didn't sound so bad. It would be good for their image if someone like you would spread a few good things about the hotel. Before Charlie could agree, Vaggie straddled back in. "And what does this favor involve?"

You conjured up a collar with a bell and an old Poloroid camera with a snap of your fingers. "Make Husk wear this and take lots of photos of it. Preferably of the process too, 'cause I'm working on some thank you cards for my company." You say and put the two things in her hands. You then remembered something. "Oh! And give this to him too." You added and handed Charlie a piece of paper. "That bastard owes me sixty thousand dollars 'cause of that Berry guy, or whatever his name was."

You were about to turn around and walk to the door when you met two red eyes right in front of you. "Leaving us so soon, what a shame." Said the Radio Demon with a smile as you took a step back so that you were no longer face to face. "Your presence turned out to be quite entertaining, I too had secretly hoped that you would give our great hotel a chance." He announced, pointing his funny stick at you.

You pushed it aside with your finger. "Well, thank you, Blossom, but I'm afraid my presence is in demand at other places." You pronounced not very regretfully.

He raised an eyebrow and would find your nicknames more amusing if he'd understood the reference. "And where would that be?"

You looked neutral. "I actually have a massage appointment at six. See you then." You said goodbye and went away with a poof after you clapped with your hands.

A few seconds of silence passed after you disappeared, and Vaggie looked at the objects in her hands again, a little questioningly. "So, what's the best way to go about this?" She asked Charlie, who was already looking thoughtfully at the bar. "Let's ask him first. Maybe he's in a good mood."

Vaggie looked at the man in question and saw him drinking a large bottle of alcohol before throwing it in the back to get his hands on another one. "Sweetie, do you know Husk?"

[hellenhighwater]

I just want to say, as its nearing the end of the year, that following your blog has done wonderful things to my mental health and inspiration for art. I'm chronically ill with rare diseases, so my path into adulthood has been bumpy to say the least. it gets discouraging but when i see pictures of the beauty you've surrounded yourself with I get back the strength i need to continue pushing forward with my education and treatment. In fact, I just finished a piece of art thats different from anything i did before and i'm so proud of it and even feel like i could sell prints of it if i set up a shop. I know you don't necessarily blog to lift people's spirits, but i thought you'd appreciate knowing that you've made an impact all the same. thank you thank you thank you! <3 you are an amazing soul in this universe.

Oh, that's so thoughtful and encouraging! I hope to continue to be able to help in whatever small ways I can, and you are very welcome.

And really...I do post to lift people's spirits. Art suffocates in a vacuum, and joy shared is joy doubled. And I think that making things--anything, whatever speaks to you--is one of the best things you can do for yourself, and I'm perpetually trying to encourage people to do that. I'm thrilled to hear that you have felt more motivated to create things!

Also I think that everyone would be happier if they could see my cats more, but that is simply because they're excellent animals. I am on a mission in this regard.

[bigbadvoxbox]

AHHH, oh my god those Lucifer pegging headcanons were absolutely SCRUMPTIOUS (Same anon btw, hi!!) absolutely adored them. He’s been rotting in my brain since he first showed up on screen my goodness, anyway!! I have so many dirty thoughts about him, how about Lucifer smut with reader who’s been edging the poor baby for hours and he’s all whiny and needy and pathetic and begging for his mommy to let him cum like the needy little slut he is :(, thank youuu!! - 🪲

Lucifer x Transmasc reader

warnings: edging. degradation + praise. lucifer is a sub, power bottom at best. he's a whiny baby (but we love it). pegging. mention of selling his soul.

Here he was, the big bad King of Hell himself, writhing beneath you, his chest arching up against yours as he whined pitifully.

"Awh. Poor baby." you feigned pity at the state Lucifer was currently in, pouting mockingly.

It had been hours. So many long, excruciating hours, of being brought right up to that edge, right on the precipice of ecstasy, only for all of the sensations to stop and send Lucifer tumbling back down the way he came. Each time he was brought back down from his near-release, his body began to ache more and more. His nerves were on fire, aching, begging, screaming for the orgasm he craved so badly. His eyes bubbled with tears as his lower lip trembled, whining and groaning about how "Please, please I can't- I need you to- fuck, please."

His tip was beginning to blush slightly red as drops of precum began to dribble down the length of his dick, not only was his body being stimulated by your hand around his cock, but also by your strap inside him, your hips alternating back and forth between a rough, quick pace that knocked the breath from his lungs, and an oh so slow pace that had him squirming with the need for more.

His pale skin was now marked with hickeys and bites, not only an expression of love, but a display of dominance, of possessiveness. Each kiss you pressed gently to his skin had him pulling such a sweet face for you, an expression so fucking pathetic yet so cute, like a puppy begging for a treat. You knew exactly what he wanted, and would you give it to him? That was for you to know and him to find out.

"Does it feel good?" You asked. He nodded frantically, failing to even speak through his pants and cries of pleasure. That wasn't good enough for you. Your pace became agonisingly slow, and he could feel your strap slowly caressing every sensitive spot inside of him. It was practically torture. "I need words, Luci." you said, your voice softening to a whisper as you used the sweet nickname you knew he loved, even if he wouldn't admit it. "Come on. Be a good boy for me, yeah?" you coaxed him, enough for him to force out the words you were looking for.

"Yes! Fuck- it- it feels good." He answered. He was almost immediately met with a harsh slam of your hips against his ass, your strap filling him so deliciously that it had him clawing at the sheets beneath him. As you began to fuck into him fast enough to leave him breathless, your hand matched its speed, jerking him off with a somewhat sadistic grin across your face.

Your lips crashed together, with you feeling the vibrations of his desperate voice against your skin. The kiss was fuelled by passion, and lust. This kind of affection was enough to have Lucifer melting beneath you, whining against your lips.

"So whiny, baby. Whats'a matter? Wanna cum, is that it?" you grinned like a cheshire cat at your question, hearing him cry out in response.

"Yes! Please!"

"Hm... I dunno, sweetheart. How about we make a deal?" You asked, before your voice dropped to a sinister whisper as you leaned in, close enough for him to feel your breath on his ear. "For your soul." you said. The gasp you pulled from his lips was almost comical, and you couldn't help but chuckle meanly as you caressed his cheek. "I was only joking, sweet face, but... do you like the sound of that? Me owning your soul? You being my pretty toy for all eternity? Hm?" Your teasing was no doubt getting him riled up, evident in the look in his eyes - that look of arousal on his face.

You then noticed something, the way he gripped the sheets slightly tighter, his breath hitching in his throat, and the way his legs began to tighten around your waist. He was getting close. Again.

"Beg." you commanded.

Almost immediately, Lucifer began to cry out, his voice frantic with desperation.

"Please! I need you to- keep going! I'll be a good boy, so please!- Fuck! Don't stop!"

His begging seemed to appease your inner sadist, especially seeing the tears in his eyes, that rolled down his previously pale cheeks, now turned red with the heat of your passion.

"Suuuuch a good boy." you praised as your hips kept their brutal speed, pushing him closer and closer to his long-awaited orgasm.

When it finally came, when he finally came, it was almost like he was seeing Heaven. (pun intended)

His body trembled as his jaw dropped, an unholy wail of a moan leaving his lips at the pure bliss that was like lightning, striking across every nerve in his body. His back arched as his cum squirted into a mess over his stomach, poor baby definitely was denied so much, but now he was getting exactly what he wanted. A string of blasphemous curses followed his orgasm, as his eyes screwed shut tight. His voice was loud and unashamed, just the way you wanted it to be. His aching cock was finally getting relief, as you used your hand to milk it of all he had.

The aftershocks of his orgasm left Lucifer quaking beneath you, his mouth hanging open, not only in awe, but also out of exhaustion. You couldn't help but chuckle as you placed gentle kisses over his neck, and jaw.

"You did so good for me, sweetheart. You're my good boy, aren't you?" You praised him, receiving only a soft whine in reply as you pulled your strap from inside him.

"My poor good boy just be so tired out after that. Let's get you all cleaned up." you told him, voice now losing all of its sadism as you carefully held his cheek in your hand, caressing it with your thumb.

You knew this would definitely become a more regular occurrence, the look on his face driving you wild, it was too good to give up any time soon. Lucifer seemed to notice this, and honestly? He couldn't say he was opposed to the idea. After being edged for so long, his orgasm had felt 10 times more powerful than any regular orgasm, and he knew it would become a feeling he'd be craving again very soon.

-

AND THATS IT

(that was hot if i do say so myself)

I HOPE THIS WAS OKAY FOR YOU ANON TY FOR THE REQUEST

[stay-tiny-ville]

Lee Minho

Summary ~ Cat boy Lee Minho being cat boy (Or dating head cannons for Lee Minho)

A.N. - thank you all so much for appreciating my other posts it means a lot :)

A.N. 2 - ALL THATS LEFT IS SEUNGMIN IN AND HYUNJIN

A.N. 3 - feel free to send in asks for ideas after I finish Skz and Atz :))

—————————————————————

jagi/ya is the only normal or sweet name he’ll give you he’ll call you tiny, tiny baby, baby bird to annoy you (if you beat me near death, maybe kitten but I hate that name)

I understand how people think he’s the tsundere type but I definitely think it’s way less of mean love and more of him being less openly lovey dovey

He strikes me as the reserved type and would be touchy in public

It’s not to make it seem like he’s ashamed of you

Absolutely not

He just likes his business and doesn’t like it in public view

We all been knew that in all ways except physical, Lino is a cat (please tell me you understand the vine I’m referencing)

And how I saw this post a while ago about how cats consider you apart of their clan or family or whatever the actual term is and they look out for you

Lino 🤝 you

His first thought when he wakes up is to check on you

Like if you’re laying so where your neck doesn’t get hurt or if you still are covered by the blanket

If you get sick you aren’t moving a muscle

Like one time you were quietly cooking breakfast in the kitchen and when he silently made his way into the kitchen he froze mid step as he knew something was wrong

Your posture was off and slumped and the real selling point was your stuffy nose sniffles

He doesn’t hesitate to mom walk over to you and lean around the counter to stare into your soul

You blink back in surprise and he just narrows his eyes

His hand basically flies to your forehead and his eyes widen in the slightest when he feels how hot you are

He pulls whatever you’re holding out of your hand and picks you up immediately and you could have screamed if you knew it wouldn’t have killed your throat

He beelines to the bedroom and you can’t even utter a word

He doesn’t even utter a word

He leaves you on the bed and just dips

He comes back in 10 minutes with a tray of sick soup and medications

He sets the tray on your lap and he brushes hair out of your face with the hand closest to you

When you go for the steaming soup he quickly grabs ahold of your wrist so you don’t absolutely cook your tongue

He takes the bowl and trades you for the meds while he takes a spoonful and blows on it

He feeds you the soop :(

The meds quickly knock you out after eating and when he sees you get drowsy he takes away the tray to the other room

You open your eyes hours later to the skin of his neck in your face

At your movement he looks down at you and rests his hand on your forehead again

His slight grimace is all you need to know

The overwhelming urge to sneeze takes over and you sit up quickly to do so

The groan that comes immediately after brings him to coo at you

“Oooooooh tiny, little bird, did that hurt?”

You groan and he does his little huff laugh salndxtvycdkne

You spend the rest of the day full body on top of him while he “complains” about how you’re going to get him sick but you just groan

(I don’t think he’s the type to like EVER get sick- correct me if I’m wrong I never looked into it lmao)

Even if you are Gorden Ramsey level Chef you aren’t allowed to cook

It’s another one of his looking out for you tidbits as he feels important making stuff you love and keeps you alive lmao

Plus it keeps you from accident cutting or burning yourself

The type to brush his hand on your cheek when talking to you

Like you’re talking to him about the new outfit you just got and he smiles while you twirl about and when you smile up at him he brushes your hair behind your ear and lets his hand rest on your cheek

Sob

I personally am always cold and since he is cat boy I just know he takes it upon himself to keep you warm

Bundles you in his jackets

Holds your hands in his pockets

Hugs where he wraps you in the jacket he’s wearing

Sob part 2

NAPS ON HIS THIGHS PLEASE

I love naps

NAPS WITH THE CATO BABIES

omg you are cat mom and you have no choice

If you are allergic well then I suppose that is just how you go out 🤷🏻‍♀️

I adore his singing and I def don’t get enough of it and I would beg him to sing nonstop

Por favor señor I beg of thee 🙏🏻

If you were to go with him to rehearsal when the studio is empty so it’s just him he would love that

Like def bring him food (that you bought since he won’t let you in the kitchen)

And when it gets later he would teach you little dances omg that’d be so cute

He’s the sweetest little boy at heart and his main priority is to look out for you :((

[snifekinner]

based on my favourite insulting horoscopes meme, i give u:

insulting you based on your favourite hetalia character

france: every surface in your house is sticky and i wouldnt sit on any of them. i would ask you to clean between your toes for once, but u wont see this post because that would require taking your hands out of your pants.

england: you are very self conflicted; you feel the need to assume an ironic stance at all times which you think makes you look intelligent but actually just makes you look a prick. everyone is sick of your condescending attitude. grow up.

germany: if you want something done, you'll do it, even if it involves walking directly through a brick wall like the kool aid man. your nerve and commitment is second only to your chronic denial of danger. you are an idiot and you're gonna die young.

italy: you are a sweet, simple soul who just wants to draw people kissing. your friends keep you around as a kind of charity case - you're the friend version of a rescue dog, and you also sometimes start whining for no reason.

japan: no one in your life knows the real you and thats why youre gonna die alone and be eaten by your cats. your loved ones will make millions selling off your manga collection. you have never touched a real boob.

usa: you have the same sense of humour and obsession with drawing penises as a 12yr old boy. anyone who even glances at your social media can tell what your kinks are, you pervert.

china: you definitely have back problems, and you sigh every day before logging into social media yet you continue to do it. you eat food directly out of the fridge or pot because plates take too much time.

russia: idk what your problem is but i bet its hard to pronounce. you're either medicated or you should be. you do tell really good stories but you cannot tell when someone isnt interested in them.

canada: you seethe more than julia stiles in 10 things i hate about you, yet you find it impossible to say no to people. you are passive aggressive and basically a coward. no one respects you.

[cjsmalley]

Wished Away 4

Do The Research (or, How to Sell Your Sister's Soul):

The Ghost King paused, blinking, “You’re not actually trying to sell her soul?”

“No!” Buffy shouted, “I want to sell my soul for her!”

The King blinked some more, “But the ritual sells Dawn’s soul, not yours.”

He stopped floating and poked at the ritual circle, pointing out, “You used the right runes to sell her soul, not yours.”

“I wanna sell my soul,” Buffy assured, almost desperately.

“Okay, time out,” the King made the motions needed, “why are you trying to sell me souls? What for?”

And so Buffy explained and the King listened attentively, asking questions as needed and obviously already planning an offense.

The King, Danny, clapped his hands, “Okay, so here’s how we’ll play this. I’ll accept Dawn Summers’ soul—ah, ah, ah, hear me out, Buffy—like I said, I’ll take Dawn back with me to my dimension while we all work together on this Glory situation. After the dust settles, I’ll send her back. I don’t actually want her soul. So I’ll technically own her soul but we’ll do…shared custody? If that’s okay with you?”

He thought some more, “I’ll also pay her bills; like child support.”

The Scoobies boggled.

“That’s it?” Xander finally asked, “you wanna…adopt Dawnie?”

“Yes? That’s how we treat any kids I get sold. Adopted. Ours. Dawn would be my fourth child, second daughter…although I would probably just act as her uncle in this case. Her care and keeping would still fall to me.”

“Buffy,” Anya spoke up, “take the deal. I don’t think he’s lying.”

“But—”

“Slayer,” murmured Spike, “he isn’t lying. Bloke’s bein’ honest. Take the deal, protect the Nibblet.”

“What do we tell everyone while I’m gone?” Dawn asked.

“That you went to yer wanker of a da,” Spike answered quickly, “he took ya away from Sunnyhell, finally answered his phone after yer Mum died.”

“We’ll pack some things, make it look good,” Willow added, “we’ll pack a lot of your things, like you really are moving out.”

“Everyone will be upset you’re gone,” Tara agreed softly, “so it’ll be an easy charade.”

“I do want copies of her medical records,” Danny spoke up mildly, before asking, “So, Buffy Summers, do we have a Deal?”

“Dawn?”

“If he can help with Glory—”

“If I can’t, I can find someone who can.”

“Then I’ll go with him.”

Buffy nodded, squared her shoulders and said, “Then we have a Deal.”

Danny nodded, “Well, then Dawn Summers, welcome to the family.”

Within the day things were packed and the needed files were gathered.

The Scoobies met Dawn’s new family, or, well, part of it.

Who quickly absorbed the entirety of the Scoobies into the family, very few questions asked and most of them about allergies and favorites.

Even Spike was accepted, though the King’s parents had questions for him about his biology.

Eventually, though, it was time to say goodbye and Dawn was taken through a portal.

Danny and his eldest son—who refused to give any other name than ‘Chat Noir’, or, in English, the Black Cat—stayed behind as the atmosphere shifted into something decidedly more…tactical.

[2cutie]

PLEASEEEEE SHANG TSUNG WITH HOPE IS SO CUTEE I CANNOT 😭💖

i will do anything to hear more about em,,,,

eee yes i force more people into my ideas *ugly evil laugh* Continuing the Shang + cat!reader (named Hope after this prompt)

Before Shang is a sorcerer:

-You are mostly an outdoor cat. Mainly because Shang is out as well, trying to sell potions. You can tagalong with him, sometimes Shang even uses you to boost sales; saying you're sick, need medical attention, or that you're a magical cat because of his potions.

Don't worry, he's trained you in gimmicks. You're quite the actor.

Sometimes Shang also has you go back into towns where he can't show his face and you would steal food or something for the night.

-Because you're an outdoor cat and low to the ground, you got dirty pretty quick.

You loathed baths, but Shang hated them so much more than you. Because you *did not* corporate. He brandished cat scratches every single time, and you would still cuddle up next to him after it all like you didn't just try to scratch him to the bone.

-You annoyed Shang in the mornings. On purpose, of course. You liked when his hair was down since he barely ever had it down. So everytime he was sitting and putting his hair up in a bun, you walked through his arms. You were on his shoulders. You would paw his bun out.

You lived to see the annoyance on his face. And loved to see how you only needed to do something cute to make the annoyance disappear and he would go back to petting you.

-Shang would talk to you. Quite a lot. You were his only friend, after all. He would tell you what he would put in his elixirs, show you what they looked like after, even if it was just tea.

He would rant to you as he combed through your fur, gossip about annoying townsfolk. Tell you how you both deserved much better than the slums.

-You watched him while he slept. Just because when he woke up and saw you staring into his soul, his expression was priceless. But you also made sure he was alright. He had night terrors often.

He would hold you close on nights he was in pain with how bad he was beaten. Sometimes his eyes were vacant, but you were a constant. A comfort. You were the only thing that could never hate him.

-Despite him not having much, Shang would eventually get you something that displayed you were a pet. A collar with a charm; a very nice charm at that.

After Shang is a sorcerer:

-He will show you around his *entire* palace. He is proud of his accomplishments and delighted to show you. He shows you all, Except for the dungeon.

-You are mostly kept secret, but Syzoth does know of you because of his close working with Shang. You are friendly to the reptilian, and you very much enjoy him actually. Sometimes he takes care of you when Shang is too busy. He likes you better than he likes the sorcerer.

-You have the most beautiful fur coat a cat has ever had. Shang takes the upmost pride and care for you. You have decorative collars, charms and jewels that you're constantly bedazzled with. All your collars are embroidered with a snake in some way.

-You have many, many catbeds around the palace. All so plush and comfy. But your favourite place is still Shang's lap and shoulders. But all is well, as you're his favoured accessory.

You sleep on his bed as well. Shang is much more of a cuddler than he's willing to admit. You like to see him when he just wakes up. His tired expression and bedhead is lost to the rest of the world. You get to see his 'ugly' and low moments.

-You like to paw at his freckles. He finds it endearing until you do it when he's trying to focus then he gives you a groundbreaking glare. He could be terrifying!

-He would read spells and spellbooks to you. It helped him memorize more quickly as well. When he wrote notes in ink, he would add your pawprint in ink to the end of the page.

[fanofthestuff]

thisisnotawebsitedotcom.com Soul Contract cipher translation

I spent an hour translating the wall of cipher at the end of the soul contract. You get there by typing "One Eyed King". There's morse code hidden in the audio which spells "NAITSUAF". If you type that, it gives you a page about selling your soul. At the bottom, click "Are you ready?".

These are some bad, uncropped screenshots of the cipher.

Here's what it says:

Theraprism

YOU ARE NOW TWENTY ONE GRAMS LIGHTER

Cipher(A) (punctuation may not be correct. In Cipher(A), punctuation is simply all rectangles, so its a bit of a guessing game.)

This contract is legal and binding. We reserve the right to use your likeness, face, voice and small town whatever nefarious manner is deemed necessary, sans soul. Your soulmate will not recognize you and will talk right past you on a cold autumn day, never making eye contact, not ever processing that you have eyes at all. No amount of interacting will move them to a place where they can remember. In feeling, the thousands of liftetimes you have already spent together, each time choosing whatever form would keep you closest like otters holding hands in a tumultuous river. You were birds. You were trees with roots entangled, drinking in the sunlight together!! Wherever we go next, whatever you choose, I will always be right there with you!! Thats done, buddy! Congratulations! You have chosen Bill instead! McDonalds reserves the right to put a giant yellow M on your torso and forehead and send you walking through a crowded Times Square while you scream "the fries, the fries" They don't degrade in nature!!! It's an immortal food!!! They will be in the landfills long past our deaths!! Good god! The things S I've seen. Me? Who am I? Oh I'm Bill's previous lawyer. He put my soul into a quill pen so I can write his legal documents until the sun snuffs out like a candle in the sick universe. I used to be so hot. I was so fine. Now I'm fine print. Speaking of which, Bill reserves the right to put your soul into an inanimate object, a strange creature, a concept, a sentence, a tasteful but rustic mason jar with wildflowers in it. If at any point you want to have visitation rights with your soul, you will be swiftly denied, unless you had a cool day planned for the both of you, then Bill might want to come along. By signing this document you forfeit any rights to eating soul food. It will turn to ash in your mouth. A fitting punishment for a fool who squandered the only true gift life owes you. Bill reserves the right to dress your soul however he deems necessary, especially if your soul was a nerd before acquisition. Soulmakeoverrr! Your soul may become fractured and placed into different object. This has no purpose and will not resurrect you if you die. Signee has forfeited all rights to any afterlife, including but not limited to: Heaven, Hell, Purgatory, Big Corner, Flow State, The Dream House, The Reincarnation Processing Center, Axolotl's Tank and Consequences Hole. Signee can no longer board the Soul Train and is advised to discard all bellbottoms. Signee can no longer have a puppy as a best friend; they can sense what is gone. Cats are indifferent. Signee may experience occasional demon possession from Horculus the Red, Plabos the Merciless, Morbus son of Mortem, Plaga the Oozing and other such common demons roaming earth searching for weakened, empty vessels. Tips for ripping your soul out at home: watching YouTube commentary channels, attending an extended family event with an open bar, using Generative AI and asserting that you are creative, turning a blind eye to human suffering, amassing more wealth than needed, purchasing a blue checkmark.

[spacebarbarianweird]

The Dhampirs of the Sword Coast - Chapter 4

It's been a while but I've finally written the 4th chapter! Upon receiving a quest to find an ancient spellbook, the dhampirs form an unlikely party of adventurers. Also we learn some gruesome details about vampires and dhampirs in the Underdark and meet a mysterious stranger in the woods.

Read on AO3

Link for Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Thanks @themadlu for beta-reading!

The List of Chapters

Masterlist

Headcanons

Ulsha (Half-Orc/Paladin) - age 26. Lawful Good.

Alethaine (High Elf/Necromancer) - age 25. Astarion's daughter. Lawful Neutral.

Theris (Tiefling/Bard) - age 27. Chaotic Neutral.

Mierni (Human/Wizard)- age 14, Gale's foster son. Suffers with selective muteness. True neutral.

“So,” Theris the Bard stops and puts away his viola. ‘We are positively lost.”

“You are observant,” Ulsha shrugs.

“Oh, Ulsha, perception checks are my specialty!” Theris places his clawed hand to his undead heart. 

“When you aren’t high.”

Alethaine shivers.

Autumn has gone from “warm and tolerant” to “disgusting and cold” within two weeks. Rain is pouring down on the four dhampirs and Alethaine feels like a wet, sad, lost cat. Besides, Ulsha and Theris— her two-meter-tall half-orc and tiefling companions – constantly quarrel.

As for Mierni, the little wizard raised by Gale Dekarios, he has been surprisingly quiet ever since their little group left Waterdeep behind. 

“Shut up,” Alethaine mutters walking forward. For the last two weeks, the party of dhampirs had been following the Trade Route south to reach Dragonspear Castle where, according to Gale, Bowgentle of Silverymoon’s spell book was hidden. 

But as time goes she wonders if she should have inquired more  about the location of the book and the dangers that lie ahead.

But patience has never been her strong side.

The storm wind starts howling and the trees creek as if about to break.

“We need to set up a camp,” Ulsha says leaving Theris behind. 

“On the open road?” Alethaine cringes. “I don’t know about your folk, Ulsha, but I am not a fan of sleeping in the dirt.”

“We belong to the same kind, last time I checked.”

“But neither of us is waterproof! We need at least somewhere dry!”

Ulsha makes a weird sound similar to a hushed roar and Alethaine takes a step back. Well, you can’t overcome genetics. After all, Alethaine Ancunin is a Moon Elf and Ulsha is a Half  Orc.

And elves are afraid of orcs.

“Mierni! Are you alright? Could you cast something that can protect us from the wind and rain?” Ulsha suddenly speaks very softly like a nanny or a mother. She very well could be both considering the tiny dark-skinned wizard is even shorter than Alethaine.

The boy shakes his head. He opens his mouth as if trying to say something before turning his head away and grasping the magic staff.

“Great! And the wizard is mute again!” Theris hisses.

“It’s not his fault!” 

“Of course it’s not, but it doesn’t change the fact that we are in the middle of nowhere,” Theris bares his fangs.”We have a paladin who gave an oath to never use her very useful dhampiric skills, a sorceress whose spells and skills are a mess and a wizard who is mute! At least you have me, so I can play some tunes at your funeral. Is this spell book even that valuable?”

“It probably is,” Alethaine looks around. 

“Very well Alethaine, what do your elven eyes see?” Theris asks.

Alethaine is too tired to have an argument about “not all elves have great eyesight, not all elves are good archers, and not all elves are delicate, elegant creatures”.

“I see a lot of dirt. One of you was supposed to be smart enough to get a map.”

“This is the wilderness, it won’t be mapped,” Ulsha notices.

Alethaine takes a step forward. Then another. The rutted road makes it difficult to move even for a dhampir and she feels her boots getting disgustingly wet 

She would sell a soul for a warm bed at an inn if only there were one.

The woods are alive, they are alive in a grotesque, decaying sense, with leaves turning into rot, dirt, and mold. But still – alive.

Alethaine feels an eerie presence. She stops and turns her head slightly  to better catch a strange sensation.

“Do you see something?” Theris asks. Ulsha stops him with her strong green hand. “I just wanted to ask!”

Alethaine closes her eyes. Her mind is filled with shadows, marks of decay. 

Here.

She drops her traveling bag on the ground and picks up a shovel. 

“Theris! Would you be a kind tiefling and help a maiden dig a grave?” Alethaine calls to him.

“No. Dig it yourself!” Ulsha nods in agreement and closes Mierni’s eyes.

“Pen-channas!”  Alethaine mutters piercing the ground with the shovel. It’s difficult to dig, the ground feels like Mire.

“Does anyone speak Elvish here?” Theris protests. “I am not comfortable with her speaking Elvish when she can speak Infernal perfectly!” 

“Samit olme ulundova,” Alethaine says out loud. “Caretya lusta ná.”

Digging graves is a pleasant thing. It’s like submerging into water after a long day. 

Finally, the shovel touches a half-rotten corpse. It looks like a halfling, but it could be a very thin dwarf. 

Alethaine hears steps behind her. Ulsha mutters something between a prayer and a curse and Theris is more curious than disgusted. 

“Speak!” Alethaine orders. Green runes appear in the air and a small, unnatural flame ignites on the palm of her pale hand. A pleasant sensation runs through her body – it’s like a caress, fresh water after a fever, a pain after wound debridement. 

The corpse levitates a few feet above the ground, its mouth and eyes glowing with the same unnatural green light as Alethaine’s hand.

“Where are we?” Alethaine asks.

“On the Sword Coast.”

“Fuck, I know this already. How far is Dragonspear castle?”

“I don’t know.”

“Are there inns around?”

“There was one… But it was burnt to the ground.”

The body levitates in the air. Two more questions before it shuts up for good. But Alethaine can’t think of anything useful to ask considering the corpse had the same level of geographical cretinism as the dhampirs.

“Oh, I know! Let’s ask how it died!” Theris gets enthusiastic.

“What for?” Ulsha protests. The corpse turns its head to her. 

“Because it’s always interesting to know how someone died,” the corpse replies.

Ulsha takes a step back.

“Oh no no no, I’ve broken my oath by speaking to it? Did I? Did I break my oath? Lathander forgive me.” Ulsha looks absolutely helpless.

“No, it doesn't count,” the corpse says, and promptly returns to its grave.

“Alethaine, I forbid you from digging any more graves!” Ulsha says after the dhampirs give up and decide to set up camp hoping their tents will protect them from the rain.

“Who are you to forbid me to do anything?” Alethaie glares at the half-orc. It’s a difficult task given the stark height difference.

“I am in charge of our party. I don't want you to attract unnecessary attention”

“Ulsha, our party is made up of a paladin of Lathander, a constantly high tiefling, a mute kid, and an elf. We are attracting attention by default.”

Ulsha moves closer using her size for intimidation.

“Alethaine, no grave digging while I am in charge.” 

“Don't you dare use your intimidation skills on me!” Alethaien suddenly gets angry. 

“You want to question my authority?” The half-orc bellows. 

“No, I am fine with you being the one at fault.” Alethane lies on her bedroll. “But I am going to dig as many graves and talk to as many corpses as I want!”

Ulsha gives up and goes to check on Mierni and Theris. Mierni still refuses to talk and Theris has already drunk half a bottle of fire whiskey he’s found somewhere.

Suddenly, Ulsha drops toher knees, raises her face to the west, and prays

Farewell, Illuminated one until we meet again

We carry the sun in our hearts until then

Give us the strength to carry on

Until the next dawn

The moment she ends the prayer, Alethaine feels how the night starts.

Even though she is not a vampire, she always knows when it’s night and when it’s day. Sun isn't an enemy, but not a friend either. 

Why is Ulsha so adamant in her faith?

“Ulsha.” Alethaine approaches her. “You were raised in the Underdark right?”

The half-orc nods.

Alethaine scoots closer.

"How bad was it there?"

"You really wanna know?"

"I do."

The Half-Orc chuckles.

"It was bad. When the spawns were released from the dungeons, they rushed to the Underdark, murdering, raping, and feeding. It was a bloodthirsty horde worse than then the abyssal demons. Some of them disappeared to return to their homes, to their past lives, mostly dwarves and drows. But I am afraid many returned to the surface to be vampires, the hunters of the innocent. Among those who remained underground, only 1,000 were still sane. The others… They are more like animals than sentient beings. They live in small colonies, like stray cats, and constantly travel looking for prey. As for the sane’ 1,000…"

Ulsha paused, collecting the thoughts.

"Dalyria, one of the ‘leaders’ tried to be their queen or chieftain, whatever. She called them a Coven. But soon, 1,000 divided into 10-15 clans in a never-ending war with each other. It's a feud. A fight for food, resources, and territory. All the clans were more or less equal until … dhampirs started growing older. Dhampirs became the ultimate weapon – we can sense the presence of vampires, we can stalk them in running water, in sunlight, we can starve them…”

Alethaine catches a glance of Theris who has made himself comfortable in his tents and started playing a viola. 

"My clan never pretended they ‘got’ me for any other purpose than to make me their champion, to fight their wars for them. Dalyria was in a rage when she learned about me and she called upon her sons, the twins Eben and Eren, who lived on the surface. They massacred every vampire in my home. It was a bloodshed I had never seen before and I wish to never witness it again. I thought they would kill me, but they showed me the way up to the surface and told me to never come back. The Underdark is no place for dhampirs, it will be our demise should we return there.” Ulsha exhales loudly before turning to Alethaine. “What about you? You don’t look like an orphan or an outcast”

Alethaine sits beside the half-orc.

“I am neither. I was raised by my vampire father and mortal mother.”

“So your father just kept a mortal on a leash?” Ulsha suggests.

“What? No! They aren’t slave and master,” Alethaine protests. 

Childhood memories pass before her eyes. Her father, Astarion, angry because Tiriel left for some dangerous quest without heeding his advice. Her mother, joking about something plain stupid. 

And often – cries. Alethaine knows that her father’s past tortures him and he often can do nothing about it. 

“They are married,” Alethaine finishes. “And they treat each other well.”

Ulsha shrugs.

“It’s not uncommon. After all, all vampires were once mortals. My clan was led by Sebastian. He was a noble from Baldur’s Gate and spent seventeen decades locked in a cell starving and tortured. He met a mortal man in the Underdark and left with him. Sometimes, I am happy for him. Sometimes, I am angry because, once he left, the new leaders started a shitshow. You know, there is a difference between a vampire who comes from a distinguished family and a psycho-pedophile who used to own slaves. Vampirism just makes you more aware of everyone’s flaws.”

“You probably think I am some spoiled girl,” Alethaine chuckles.

“I don’t. Lathander teaches us not to be jealous. I am happy for you and I wish I had the same upbringing.”

Theris suddenly jumps to his feet.

“Finally! I caught that stupid, dumb bitch!”

“Who?”

“Inspiration.”

Ulsha groans. “Spare me”

Alethaine stands up to leave Ulsha’s little tent, the half orc grabs her wrist.

“Be careful, Alethaine. Here on the surface dhampirs are still rare but in the Underdark, we are juggernauts who change the game for vampires. Be careful of whoever asks you for help.”

Alethaine nods and crawls inside her tent. It’s more or less warm and she soon starts slipping into oblivion. 

… Only to be woken up by a ruthless sun and a scared wizard.

“Mierni, what’s the…” Alethaine mutters, quickly stopping herself before saying a “bad word” in front of a fourteen-year-old boy.

Mierni points at the campsite. The fire has been extinguished. Ulsha grabs her ax in a fighting stance while Theris is hiding in the bushes.

“What’s wrong?” Alethaine asks.

Ulsha groans something incomprehensible.

Theris points in front of them.

Now, in the dusk of the morning, Alethaine sees that either she and her cousins are blind idiots or there is some dark magic at play. 

Dragonspear Castle, or at least what is left of it, towers above the forest in all its ancient and macabre beauty.

“So we could have spent the night under a roof?” Alethaine mutters and immediately gets kicked in her ribs by the little wizard. “Oh… I see.”

At least a dozen ogres are wandering around the castle at a very close proximity to the dhampir camp.

“Anyone implying they are my kin,” Ulsha warns, “Will lose their limbs.”

Mierni opens his mouth, but the words are stuck in his throat as if he was under the Silence spell. Definitely embarrassed by this, he tries to hide behind Alethaine.

"Here is the plan, short and simple,” Theris says. “We go to the chief ogre, double dog dares him to help us, he goes to the closest town, folks there come to kill him, poor fella, the ogres start a fight for the throne, we chose the one we like, support his claims, he becomes the new chief and we gaslight him to let us in the castle. Voila, problem solved!"

"Theris, are you ever sober?" Alethaine asks

Theris looks at her with his red hell touched eyes and Alethaine suspects that the answer is “no”.

The Black Death, an albino rat, squeaks.

“Alright, simple plan,” Alethaine says. “Theris and I sneak there to find the spellbook and then we leave before they notice us.”

“You are an elf, they will catch your scent the moment you are close,” Ulsha groans.

“Then only Theris?” Alethaine suggests. “No, he won't find the book, he can’t identify magic.”

“I’d love to disagree but I won’t. Maybe Ulsha can … talk to them?”

Ulsha collapses the two-handed ax on the ground. “What did I tell you, Theris?”

“But you do speak Black Speech!” Theris hides behind Alethaine and the elf realizes she doesn’t really enjoy being on the first line between the half-orc paladin and her enemies.

“So what? No, if we are to complete the quest and bring that book to the distinguished wizard,” the last part of the sentence doesn’t sound mocking at all. “We need to get inside together.”

“Or we can pretend we didn’t find it,” Alethaine suggests. “What, it’s just a spellbook?”

Theris surges forward.

“It’s an expensive book! I am not losing a fortune because you are all so stupid.”

“Theris!” Ulsha bellows but it’s already too late.

An ogre grabs the tiefling’s collar and lifts him up like a vermin.

“Smells dead,” the ogre comments. 

“At least I don't reek of piss and rot.” Theris says, offended.

“You,” the ogre says. “You are also dead.”

“Aka’magosh,” Ulsha puts her hand to her chest, hiding the symbol of Lathander. “What is your tribe doing here?”

“Power. Abyss. They have called. We have come,” the ogre says somewhat proudly. “Dirma. Abyss. The red eye in the skies.”

Alethaine puts a hand on Mierni’s shoulder. The little wizard is so scared thatshe is afraid he will run away (and will definitely be eaten by ogres).

Well, there are always stories that mimic your every step, Alethaine thinks.

Forty-five years ago the cult of Absolute took hold on the southern areas of the Sword Coast, infecting ogres, goblins, and drows, literally making no exception, with parasites who would turn them all into mind flayers. All pawns in the hands of the Bhalists and the rogue Illithid who’d decided it was his chance to seize control.

An attack on Baldur’s Gate. Random passengers. 

A vampire who’d decided the painful death from the hands of mind flayers was definitely better than his life as a spawn.

A lonely traveler from the East who was looking for a job.

In two months, the cult was destroyed. All glory was received by Duke Ravengard and the archmage of Waterdeep. The half-elven warrior and the vampire disappeared in the vast wastelands hoping to forget the horrors they both had endured.

Scholars say the cosmogonic myths are the most important of all because they explain how things came to be. Other scholars note that, since family and home are the whole universe for children, they need to know their own myth of creation.

Alethaine knows everything about the cult of Absolute starting from “and that’s when we awoke in the pods” to “and then we fall into the Chiontar river after killing the brain.”

Can the Absolute come back? Just like in those fucking neverending stories when problems just pass from one generation to another!

“You,” The ogre points at Alethaine. “Abyss.”

“Yes,” Alethaine exclaims. “I accept the Abyss and whatever lives there as my only lord!”

Ogre cringes but it seems like Alethaine’s words persuaded him because he finally releases Theris, causing him to fall on the dirty ground.

“The abyss. Will eat. The land. Be only wasteland. Nothing lives. The great old one shall come back.”

“Can we,” Alethaine suggests. “See the castle? I mean we’ve made a long path to pay respects to… the great old one?”

The ogre contemplates. Alethaine thinks she can physically feel how thought crawls in the ogre’s mind.

“Yes. You can. But not her. She prays to the sun.”

Ulsha nods, hardly hiding her joy when hearing that she won’t have to come closer.

“No!” Theris protests. “She is coming with us. I am not going anywhere close to them without a proper warrior in our ranks! She is… she is about to betray her false god and she wishes to pay her respect to the Abyss!”

The ogre takes a sniff.

“I SEE. I WILL SHOW YOU.”

“Oh, Latander please forgive me,” the half-orc mutters but doesn’t try to run.

“I am expecting some gratitude for my amazing deception skills,” Theris nags.

“It’s not your deception skills, it’s him who has bad perception.” Ulsha doesn't give Theris a chance.

Alethaine moves forward. The ogres camp stinks - not of the pleasant smell of death and decay, but  of dirt, blood, and gore.

Even Ulsha feels uncomfortable, especially since she has to hide the symbol on the chest.

The chieftain (the string of fresh halfling heads on his belt indicates that he is indeed the leader) proudly announces something in Black Speech. Ulsha refuses to translate.

“ABYSS, ABYSS, ABYSS!” The ogres chant. 

And then Alethaine notices a pit.

The pit that appears to be the primary source of the stench is placed by the gates of the castle. Alethaine approaches it, quietly wishing to be too small for the ogres to notice her.

The pit is made of flesh.

“What the…” Alethaine mutters in common. “Rhaich!”

The flesh pulses as if alive and it’s probably deep enough to reach the Underdark. The pit whispers and Alethaine concentrates to try to understand something.

The unnatural darkness holds a grip on her half-undead mind. It lurks in her memories, her fears, her insecurities.

A dead kitten resurrected by necromancy.

An old grave that smells like home.

Loneliness. Fear. Where do dhampirs go when they die?

Then she sees woods and fields dying, becoming a twisted version of themselves. The maw of the Abyss devours the world, leaving nothing but the undead, who starve to death.

“Alethaine!” Theris drags her away from the pit. “What in hell's wrong with you?!”

“What… I am fine!”

“You’ve almost jumped there!” The tiefling hisses. 

Suddenly the chieftain bumps his staff and the ogres start throwing stuff into the pit.

Parts of victims' bodies. Stolen gems. Pieces of clothes.

“I think they mistake it for the garbage pit,” Alethaine mutters.

“No,” Ulsha answers. “Those are offerings.”

The chieftain keeps sputtering words in Black Speech and Ulsha cringes at every syllable. 

Alethaine decides not to ask for a translation.

She keeps watching as things drop down into the bottomless pit.

And then she feels a tickling sensation in her fingers.

Magic.

Not the twisted and unnatural one she just experienced, but the real Feywild magic.

And it’s somewhere close.

Mierni starts tugging at Alethaine’s sleeve while making incoherent sounds. 

“What?” She follows his finger.

The chieftain grabs an intricately decorated book with runes that start shining the moment the dirty hands of the ogre touch it.

“The Silvermoony Spellbook,” Alethaine whispers.

Mierni starts nodding.

“Well,” Theris leans on him. “Cast magic hand or something!”

He shakes his head. 

“Someone, turn his speech on,” Theris spits. “Maybe we should scare him?”

“Touch Mierni and I will drag you to Gale as a test subject for his magic experiments,” Ulsha warns.

Alethaine tries to squeeze through the ogres, but their thick bodies keep pushing the dhampir back.

The chieftain opens the book, almost ripping the cover, and throws the expensive item into the pit.

“MAGE HAND!!!!” Mierni screams at the top of his lungs. A hand weaved of blue light floats towards the book and grabs it by the cover before the greedy pit devours it.

The ogres fall silent and Alethaine has this uneasy feeling of being watched by rather unfriendly creatures.

The mage's hand rises into the air so high the ogres can’t touch it. 

“Now we run?” Theris asks.

“Yes,” Alethaine agrees. “No, we run.”

The mage's hand dissolves and the book starts falling. Ulsha lifts Alethaine up and the elf manages to catch the book before it falls into the ogres’ hands.

“Run!” Ulsha puts Mierni on her wide shoulders. “Zigzag and spread in different directions!”

Alethaine rushes to the right while Ulsha and Mirni take the left.

“Oh, so you’ve left me! Of course, no one ever feels sorry for the bard!” Theris curses as he sprints towards the castle’s walls.

Alethaine sometimes doesn’t like being a dhampir.

Sometimes she wishes she could breathe, and didn't have fangs that constantly hurt her lips and gums.

But not in a moment like this. 

She easily leaves the angry ogres behind. The woods welcome her as if she were a real elf, not an undead. Her darkvision helps her see better and soon the crass voices fade away.

Alethaine stops and opens the book.

The unknown symbols dance on the page but she can’t grasp the meaning of the words.

The heavy presence of magic returns.

Strong, potent. And wild.

Alethaine freezes trying to identify its source.

Someone grabs the book from her pale hands.

“I think this belongs to us,” a red-haired half-elven woman appears out of the shadows. She wears leather trousers and a shirt and her only weapon is a dagger. “Oh, Fuckface says I should thank you for doing the dirty job. She is in a surprisingly good mood today!” --

Quenya and Neo-Sindarin vocabulary

Pen-channas! (Sindarin) -  Idiot! (Literal Translation: intelligence-less)

Samit olme ulundova (Quenya) - You smell like a monster

Caretya lusta ná (Quenya) - Your head is empty Rhaich! (Sindarin) - Curses! -- Tag list

@tugoslovenka  

@herstxrgirl 

@herdarkestnightelegance  

@vixstarria 

@not-so-lost-after-all  

@marcynomercy  

@theearthsfinalconfession 

@starlight-ipomoea    

@micropoe10 

@astarion-imagine-archive  

@veillsar

@elora-the-slutty-songstress  

@fayeriess  

@lumienyx  

@tallymonster    

@caitlincat-95  

@tragedybunny  

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[double-0h-no]

Full Disclosure

This is my prompt fill for "kept secret" from the whump table, and 777 from the word count table, my personal nemesis this week.

Boy this was a bother. I don't know how the rest does it, landing on an exact word count, especially one below 1k. If brevity truly is the soul of wit, there's bad news for me. Huge thanks to @l219tj for supporting me so much, I don't think this would have gotten anywhere if you hadn't let me rant at you for lines on end. I hope you enjoy some domestic angst and finally some 00Q from my side.

CW this time around for vague discussions of medical issues, just to be on the safe side.

on ao3

A letter Q couldn't wait to open until he really was alone with no chance of James coming in starts a conversation Q would have wanted to avoid altogether.

"And you didn't think it prudent to tell me?"

Q didn't dare to meet James' eyes, so instead his gaze rested on the opened letter on their dining table.

"Do you know what I'd been telling myself these last weeks?", James went on. "I was so convinced you were either cheating on me, or selling off some blueprints, or following a lead on your own because M had told you to drop it, and a hundred more things, and at the same time I knew you wouldn't.

"Because I bloody know you, and you've never... You wouldn't do that to me."

And now he had, and there was no taking it back. Q knew he should have handled it better, knew that it was the one thing not to do with James. Keeping secrets. He swallowed harshly, but set his jaw.

"Did you really think you'd get away with it? Not telling me?"

And that rubbed Q the wrong way. "Get away with - James, I wasn't trying to - Of course I would have told you! If there was something to tell. But according to this letter," he grabbed it and held it up, "there isn't."

"Q, this is a gene test. I happen to know that this is one of the last resorts any doctor takes. They will take three MRIs before they do that. So for how long has this been going on?"

"Going - You make it sound like did have an affair!"

"Well, you do have an ex in Medical," James said dryly, and Q slammed the letter back down on the table.

"Are you serious right now?! I've been to - I don't even know any more how many appointments, and how many different specialists, and you seriously wanna call names now?!"

"And how am I supposed to know that?!" James matched his volume. "How am I supposed to know to how many specialists you've been?! I don't even know why you had a need to see them!"

"Well, good thing those tests came back negative, then, because it really can't be all that serious!"

James threw his hands in the air and started pacing. "Yes, just spiffing, because what I'm so concerned about right now is what the doctors say, or that you haven't told me!"

"What is your problem, then?!" A sudden movement followed by a loud clonk made Q realize that this time, he had shouted - and spooked Velma, who'd dashed to the safety of the cat tree. He took a deep breath to steady his nerves. Truth be told, he was beyond relieved that the test had come back negative, and all he wanted to do was cry with relief and ride out the endorphins, but now he was here, stuck in a fight with James because - well, because he'd fucked up.

"I'm sorry, James, I..." He took another deep breath. "When this first started, you were on a mission, and by the time you'd returned, Medical had jumped the first scare on me, and I... I both didn't want it to be true, and I didn't want you to worry for nothing. And it looks like it truly is nothing." When James didn't answer for several seconds, Q looked back up at him, but couldn't read the expression at all.

"I don't care about that right now, I -" James interrupted himself again and stared at him in utter disbelief. "How hard is it for you to believe that I might be worried about you?"

"Worried? James, those results are negative, there's no-"

"Is it gone?", James cut him off. "Whatever made you go to Medical in the first place. All those tests came back negative and we know that all that means is that Medical hasn't found a cause, not that you are alright. Because unless you are, yes, I am bloody worried."

Of course he wasn't. The test result had felt like a victory, as if this declared him healthy and all evil would fall away. But James was right. This only meant he still didn't know the cause.

"I'm sorry," he said. "Both for not telling you, and for snapping."

To his surprise, James snorted. "How often have I tried to hide an injury from you? I'm rather sure it was Bates who told you about the knee surgery. I'm still angry about this, but darling, it's... not the number one priority here. So. Do you want to tell me what's been going on?"

Q sighed, pushed his glasses up to rub his eyes and gestured vaguely at the sofa. "Alright. Let's sit down, I'll fetch some tea, and I'll tell you the whole story from the start."

[gilgamushroom]

HOW TO SELL YOUR SOUL TO BILL CIPHER ‼️‼️ (+ Terms & Conditions CRACKED)

It took.... way, way too long to decode this, so I'm just gonna post it here lol. So!!

From the adorable baby bill page, we've got "ONE EYED KING" which once you put it in the laptop leads to.....

A totally normal recording with no secret messages! Nope, it's never that simple. Morse code reveals a "NAITSUAF" which can also be used in the laptop...

Well, that's fun, now let's click on and go to the contract

Which has a silly little code at the end which translates to "YOU ARE NOW TWENTY ONE GRAMS LIGHTER" and that should be all! except... jesus fucking christ...

Now HERE are the hours of my life that I will never get back. The translation goes:

this contract is legal and binding 🟨 we reserve the right to use your likeness 🟨 voice and small town pluck in whatever nefarious manner is deemed necessary 🟨 sans soul 🟨

your soulmate will not recognize you and will walk right past you on a cold autumn day 🟨 never making eye contact 🟨 not even processing that you have eyes at all 🟨 no amount of interaction will move them to a place where they can remember 🟨 in feeling 🟨 they thousands of lifetimes you have already spent together 🟨 each time choosing whatever form would keep you closest like otters holding hands in a tumultuous rivers 🟨

you were birds 🟨 you were trees with roots entangled 🟨 drinking in the sunlight together 🟨 wherever we go next 🟨 whatever you choose 🟨 I will always be right there with you 🟨🟨 thats done 🟨 buddy 🟨 congratulations 🟨 you have chosen bill instead

mcdonalds reserves the right to put a giant yellow m on your torso and forehead and send you walking through a crowded times square while you scream 🟨 the fries 🟨 the fries 🟨 they don🟨t degrade in nature 🟨🟨🟨 it🟨s an immortal food 🟨🟨🟨 they will be in the landfills long past our deaths 🟨🟨

good god 🟨 the things🟨s i🟨ve seen 🟨 me 🟨 who am I 🟨 oh i🟨m bill🟨s previous lawyer 🟨 he put my soul into a quill pen so I can write his legal documents until the sun snuffs out like a candle in this sick universe 🟨 I used to be so hot 🟨 I was so fine 🟨 now i🟨m fine print 🟨 speaking of which 🟨

bill reserves the right to put your soul into an inanimate object 🟨 a strange creature 🟨 a concept 🟨 a sentence 🟨 a tasteful but rusty mason jar with wildflowers in it 🟨

if at any point you wish to have visitation rights with your soul 🟨 you will be swiftly denied 🟨 unless you had a cool day planned for the both of you 🟨 then bill might want to come along 🟨

by signing this document you forfeit any rights to eating soul food 🟨 it will turn to ash in your mouth 🟨 a fitting punishment for a fool who squandered the only true gift life owes you 🟨 bill reserves the right to dress your soul however he deems necessary 🟨 especially if your soul was a nerd before acquisition 🟨 soulmakeoverrr 🟨

your soul may become fractured and placed into different objects 🟨 this has no purpose and will not resurrect you if you die 🟨 signee has forfeited all rights to any afterlife 🟨 including but not limited to 🟨 heaven 🟨 hell 🟨 purgatory 🟨 big corner 🟨 flow state 🟨 the dream house 🟨 the reincarnation processing center 🟨 axolotl🟨s tank and consequences hole 🟨

signee can no longer board the soul train and is advised to discard all bellbottoms 🟨 signee can no longer have a puppy as a best friend 🟨 they can sense what is gone 🟨 cats are indifferent 🟨

signee may experience occasional demon possessions from horculus the red 🟨 plabos the merciless 🟨 morbus son of mortem 🟨 plaga the oozing and other such common demons roamimg earth searching for weakened 🟨 empty vessels 🟨

tips for ripping your soul out at home 🟨 watching youtube commentary channels 🟨 attending an extended family event with an open bar 🟨 using generative ai and asserting that you are creative 🟨 turning a blind eye to human suffering 🟨 amassing more wealth than needed 🟨 purchasing a blue checkmark

AND THAT'S THAT. I am seeing this code in my sleep :D Anyways, as they say, always read the fine print, unless it's THIS long in which case by god just take this post instead 👍🏼

I'll go back to seeing these symbols whenever I close my eyes now. Take care and don't sign your soul away uninformed <3