#I wrote down what I wanted to leave behind in 2023 and what I wanted to learn and needed in 2024

[greppelheks]

happy new year, my loves 💖 I'm doing my little new year's ritual of cleaning everything, cleaning some bad energy in the house, and journalling. Hope you all had a good new year's eve!

[sunflower-lilac42]

𝗵𝗼𝗺𝗲 | 𝘩𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘦𝘴 𝘣𝘳𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘴 ♔

➪ summary: afer many milestones of her brothers, she finally comes home for the first hughesbowl

➪ warnings: none (surprises?)

➪ word count: 2.6k

➪ file type: fic + one insta post

➪ sunny's notes: i'm pretty sure this was the first hughes bros fic i wrote so i definitely had to go back and rewrite a bunch of it. for a little context you're a famous youtube vlogger :) also i would definitely reread this one because a lot has changed and i wrote like a thousand more words for this one

nhl masterlist || taglist || navigation

⟹ Sunday, December 3, 2023 @ 3:30 in the morning - Naples, Italy

“Hello everyone, my name is y/n, and welcome to my channel if you are new here and welcome back if you’re not! It is currently,” She pauses to take a brief look at her watch, “3:30 in the morning on Sunday, December 3. I am very much still in Italy, but not for long.”

The video cuts and now her camera is sitting on her desk, the windows are opened and the lights are adjusted to be a little bit brighter. She smiles brightly at the camera before she starts talking again, “So you’re probably seeing this mid-December ish whcih means you kind of already know what is going on, but. I am officially flying and moving back home.

“Italy has been such a great experience and I’ve had so much fun here, I’ve learned a ton of new things and I am so grateful for everyone I’ve met. If you know, I’ve been here for almost three years now and I think I’m starting to realize how homesick I am. It’s super nice and amazing here but if I’m honest, I kind of miss ‘the land of the free’. That was a joke, the land of the free part, trust.”

She laughs and continues, “Anyway, the main reason I have decided to come home now is because of my brothers. If you also don’t know, I have three younger brothers, Quinn, Jack, and Luke who are professional hockey players. Quinn plays for the Vancouver Canucks and the other two play for the New Jersey Devils. I honestly have missed so much of their careers, Luke especially and I just really want to be there for the first ever ‘Hughesbowl’ I think they’re calling it.” 

She wipes her eyes, trying not to let the tears fall. She looks around at her room and then back at the camera, “So, I’m flying into New York this morning, my flight leaves at 7 so I should probably get going in a little bit. But yeah, I’ll see you guys when I touch down in New York!”

Videos play of y/n getting ready for the airport, all of her luggage behind her. She navigates her way through the airport, stopping to get some food at the Starbucks and a small drink before sitting and reading her book. After the montage, she is now in a car looking a little tired but her smile is still plastered on her face. 

❛ ━━･❪ ❁ ❫ ･━━ ❜

⟹ Sunday, December 3, 2023 @ 10:21 in the morning - New York City, New York

“So as you can see, I am now in New York!” The camera pans to a girl in the driver's seat, “This is my American homie right here. Oh, it’s so weird being back, everyone still can’t walk and drive to save their lives.

“Anyway, Julia and I are heading to drop my stuff off at her place and then we’re going to go get some brunch, I think? We’ll, or I guess, I will go sightseeing. I leave for Vancouver tomorrow night so I can rest up before the shorter flight. It’s honestly, kind of fun being back home, everything is kind of like how I remembered. I might also break into Jack and Luke’s apartment to steal some Devils merch so I can wear it to the game, but yeah.”

“Do the boys know you’re going?” Julia asks, pulling into the parking lot of her apartment complex.

Y/n shakes her head, “Nobody knows except for you and Tiffany, my friend who lives in Vancouver. So that will be an additional bonus to the game. I’ve set up some things with the arena and I guess, actually, some of the team know so Brock, Petey. I think Jesper and Nico know too, we were talking a little bit earlier together when I got here. Alright, I will see you guys sometime soon!”

Another quick montage plays, Julia and y/n are out and about, going from store to store while y/n gapes at all the things she remembered about visiting Jack before she left. At one point, there was a video of her successfully sneaking into her brother's apartment and stealing one of their beanies they kept on the countertop. 

The next video was of her collapsing onto a bed, “We’re home! It is now almost 10 o'clock here and I am going to get some much-needed rest. Tomorrow I think we’re going to meet up with a few more of our friends which I don’t think I’m going to vlog. Which means, I will see you all when I am headed to the airport!”

❛ ━━･❪ ❁ ❫ ･━━ ❜

⟹ Monday, December 4, 2023 @ 7:00 in the evening - John F Kennedy Airport

“It was already 5 and I am here at the airport,” Y/n pans the camera around before focusing it back on herself, “I am actually starting to get so nervous about this. I mean in a little over 24 hours I get to see my little brothers for the first time in almost 3 years. Wow, that is crazy to say. I ended up going out to an early dinner with some of my friends so I am definitely full for this plane ride. I am going to be landing in Vancouver around 10, basically, I’m going to be falling asleep when I get there.

“I also finished this book which will be in a different video but it was so good and I’m so glad I got to read it. I’m rambling too much, I will see you guys in Canada.”

Footage of the plane played, looking down at the ground below. In the middle of those clips, were videos of y/n either trying not to fall asleep and also her reading. Then, clips of her dragging her luggage through the airport and out the doors to find her friend's car. 

❛ ━━･❪ ❁ ❫ ･━━ ❜

⟹ Monday, December 4, 2023 @ 10:13 in the night - Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada

“Oof! It is nearing my bedtime. Also, Tiffany just mentioned to me how weird it looks that I’m coming all the way from Italy with just a suitcase and carry-on. Don’t worry, I didn’t leave my stuff in Italy. I shipped most of my things here to Vancouver because I’m planning on living with Tif over here for a while until I can afford my place. And who knows, maybe Quinn will kidnap me and force me to come live with him.

“That is completely beside the point there. I have now been in three different countries and two different continents in basically 24 hours theoretically if we look at it from completely one time zone, Pacific. I’m going to cry actually, whether that is because of exhaustion or because I get to see my brothers in less than 20 hours, I don’t know. I will see you guys tomorrow, probably somewhere close to the time I leave for Rogers Arena. Tomorrow is the day.”

The video ends with her sighing with a smile on her face, both happy and nervous for the upcoming events to happen. She went to bed that night, comfortably in another bed instead of an airplane seat once more. Tomorrow was going to be a lot and she could only hope everything went to plan.

❛ ━━･❪ ❁ ❫ ･━━ ❜

⟹ Tuesday, December 5, 2023 @ 6:23 in the evening - Rogers Arena

“I am now standing outside of Rogers Arena on this very cold day in Vancouver. I am really wishing I brought another coat, somehow I still have not trained my body to be adaptive in the cold.” She rolls her eyes but smiles nonetheless, “We’re going to go meet with some of the people who are helping me pull this off and if everything works out you should be seeing the video Tiffany is taking from behind me mashed with another video my friend is taking from the stands.”

『••✎••』

Y/n stands nervously in the tunnel, playing with her fingers and picking at the skin around her nails. She bounced slightly on the balls of her feet as she listened to the skating come to a halt. It was like her eyes were trained to find her family no matter where she was or where they were. As soon as everyone stopped and got into their lines, she let out a deep breath when her eyes focused on Quinn standing alongside the others. 

His hair was longer, that was for sure. He looked older, more mature than the last time she had seen them. The last time she had actually talked to them was a few days prior, probably about a week ago. She had texted them a few times but other than that, she was too nervous she would accidentally slip up and tell them about her plan. 

Her eyes moved and they zeroed in on Jack who was conveniently also standing next to Luke. Her eyes widened a bit when she saw Luke, he was taller, much taller than she remembered. Jack almost looked the same in her opinion, the only thing different was his hairstyle but even then, he looked like the younger brother who used to pester her when she wouldn’t make his Mac ‘n Cheese the way he wanted her to. 

On the other hand, the boys were standing, looking at the ground while their feet shuffled back and forth to help keep them steady on the ice. Jack and Luke shoved each other once or twice playfully throughout the opening speeches. Quinn had a million thoughts racing through his head. This would be his first time playing against Luke on big league ice, his first time playing his brothers as captain of his team, the first time they would all be playing together in the NHL on the same ice and she wasn’t here. 

He would never hate or relent his older sister for wanting to go off and study in another country, it was an amazing opportunity. He was, however, upset about everything that she had missed of his. Luke’s draft, Luke’s debut, Luke’s first goal, the start of Luke’s rookie season, Jack’s record-breaking season, him being announced captain, his first game as captain. 

While Jack and Luke weren’t thinking about this, Quinn couldn’t help it. Y/n was his big sister, the person he had looked up to for his whole life, the person who took care of him when he took a big hit on the ice, the person who helped him through his first relationship, the person who made him soup when he was sick. She was practically everything to him. And it hurt that she wasn’t here. 

“This isn’t something we normally do, but we figured since it was a special occasion we would make an exception.”

Everyone in the arena had practically gone quiet at the words, no one knew anything extra was happening tonight. A lot of friends looked at each other in confusion, the teams eyed one another - some knowling and some just as confused as the fans -, y/n got even more nervous as the words she had drilled into her head were spoken out loud. 

“As everyone knows, this is an incredible thing happening tonight, three brothers playing against each other.” The said boys rolled their eyes once more but still had smiles on their faces, “We do know that there is one person missing however.”

Many fans of y/n who happened to be in the audience knew almost exactly what was happening at this moment. While she hadn’t hinted at coming back home, who else would they have been talking about? She was the only Hughes in question who wasn’t here. 

“As she told me when she got here, she couldn’t miss another big milestone for her brothers. So after being away in Italy for 3 years, please welcome famous YouTuber and older sister of Quinn, Jack, and Luke Hughes, y/n Hughes!”

Cheers erupted as she stepped out onto the ice and she waved a little to the fans before being almost knocked to the ground by a body tackling her. Luke’s arms wrapped around his sister tightly, his head resting on hers. She smiled softly and wrapped her arms around him as well, “Hi Lukey.”

His voice was soft, “Hi.”

“When’d you get so tall?”

“I’ve always been tall, you’re just short.” He pulled away, his hands resting on her shoulders as he looked at her. His eyes slightly glistened with tears before he pulled her into another hug. He murmured something at first, causing y/n to have to ask him to repeat it, “I’m really really really really really happy you’re here. I don’t think I could’ve gone another six months without you.”

She frowned and squeezed him a little tired before he ultimately pulled away and let Jack scoop her into a hug as well. Compared to Luke’s, Jack’s hug was relatively short because he was now antsy. This would be the first time in years that he would be playing in front of her and he wanted to make her proud. So when he pulled away about a minute later she looked at him confused. He only smiled at her before speaking, “I got the zoomies now.”

She threw her head back as she laughed, shaking her head at him. Her eyes moved round once more to see Quinn standing a foot or two away from her. When she opened her arms, he all but dove into them like Luke had done earlier. He, however, shed a few tears as his head buried into the shoulder. She patted his back and suddenly she realized how many eyes were actually on them. So while she wanted to continue her reunion with the three of them, she whispered something into his ear and he pulled away nodding. 

She waved one more time at the fans as the applause and made her way to the stands where her parents were. Once she was even slightly near her parents, Ellen pulled her into a hug, asking her a bunch of questions about when and how she got there. 

『••✎••』

After the game, y/n stood with Jim and Ellen as they waited for the boys to be done. She was in the middle of catching them up on her trip here when someone came from behind and hugged her tightly, slightly lifting her up. She squealed and turned around to hit Jack on the arm, “Hey!”

“What?” He said innocently as he threw an arm around her shoulder, “Can I not hug my sister who I haven’t seen in three years?”

“Of course you can.” She wrapped her arms around his torso and side-hugged him, “You just can’t pick me up.”

He scoffed a little, “Someone’s picky.”

“Where’s Luke and Quinn?”

He shrugged, “I don’t know. I was too excited to see you.”

At that moment, Luke and Quinn made their appearance right behind Jack and hit him over the head. Y/n rolled her eyes before hugging each of them, Quinn’s being a little longer than Luke’s. They all stared at each other once they stopped hugging and then they looked at their parents. 

“Can we go get dinner?” Jack asked.

She rolled her eyes, “Only if you’re paying rich boy.”

He shrugged before walking ahead of them. Y/n looped her arms through Quinn and Luke’s, walking down the hallway out of the arena, “Ah my favorite boys.”

“I heard that!”

❛ ━━･❪ ❁ ❫ ･━━ ❜

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 『 instagram 』

yourusername

liked by jackhughes, _quinnhughes, lhughes_06, and 42,391 more

yourusername: home <3

tagged: _quinnhughes, jackhughes, lhughes_06

*comments on this post have been disabled*

[folkloresthings]

❛ HEAVEN KNOWS ❜ ❨ lando norris x singer!reader ❩

📻 track two: wendy.

in which the they were the perfect couple, until they weren’t. or in which we take a look back into what made heaven itself fall apart.

. . . SEPTEMBER 2023

INSTAGRAM. september twenty—seventh.

liked by niallhoran, lizzymcalpine and 761,320 others

yourusername first song from the good witch! i wrote wendy after a day huddled under my duvet rewatching every adaptation of peter pan that exists. it’s all about falling for lost boys and trying your best to see the best in them even though your heart tells you better. it’s about not making sacrifices even though you want to, learning to put yourself first despite how much love might blind you to do the opposite. what about wendy!

view all comments

user STOP these songs are going to tear lando apart i just know it

charlottesiine wendy darling 🤍 lock the windows!!!!

user is lando her lost boy 😭😭😭

REWIND… AUGUST 2022.

for just under three years, heaven was all you knew. lando was a dream, all wrapped up in his love for you and forever devoted to your attentions. maybe the effect of being locked up together for months as the pandemic reigned had given you both a taste of stockholm syndrome and left you with nothing else to focus on. or maybe it was just time.

the beginning of summer break was when you felt the first shift. every other year, lando whisked you away on a holiday to the sunniest place he could find. he wined and dined you, making up for all of the lost time between the racing season and touring. only, this time, he had booked a trip to ibiza with max and his friends.

“what about me?”

“i don’t see them that often either, you know that,” he defended.

it was understandable, you supposed. he liked those kinds of places, you didn’t. so while he partied there, you spent a little extra time in the studio. but then it was a week in spain with carlos, another in croatia with daniel. the compromise came in the form of monaco. you would take some time off, leaving your london flat behind, and come stay with lando in his monte carlo apartment.

you were all excitement, until you realised your time there was scheduled around lando’s meetings and dj sets and boys night out. the desperation to be close to him trumped all else and so you followed him around like a lost puppy, forever blinded by the sweet kisses and doting promises.

“i’ll take you to dinner tomorrow night, just me and you,” lando would murmur in your ear, letting your frustration subside long enough to let him go back to his friends.

it took that whole month in monaco to realise that this is what lando wanted: someone to follow after him and live for the short term magic, only to be let down by the endless maybe’s, trusting that he’ll catch you when you fall. it terrified you, and yet your undying love kept you playing along.

“i have a show in brixton next week,” you told him on your last morning in monaco, shoving the last of your clothes into your case. “it’s low-key, for some of the really devoted fans. i got management to put your name on the list.”

lando zipped up the last of your belongings, soft thumbs caressing your cheeks. “i wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

you grinned happily, uncaring for whatever doubt sank in your stomach when it was just the two of you, his lips soothing on your warm skin. he loved you, truly.

INSTAGRAM. august twenty—first.

liked by nicolacoughlan, hozier and 780,629 more

y/nupdates y/n in brixton tonight! 21/8 🤍

view all comments

user the intimate shows w her are my fav 🥺🥺🥺

user mother!

user was lando there? i heard she gave him a shoutout

⤷ user she sang feels like this and dedicated it to him!

⤷ user yeah but it seemed like she was looking out for him in the back when she said it and it didn’t look like he was there ☹️

⤷ user ouch 🥲

“are you alright?”

it’s the first thing you ask when he answers the phone, and you know it’s horrible that you hope something bad has happened — but it’s better than the truth that weighs heavy on his lips.

“i’m so sorry love, i meant to call you earlier,” lando groans through your speaker, your dressing room door clicking closed behind you. still in your stage outfit, you await the excuses. “the flight was delayed and then cancelled. i would get the next flight but i’ve got that thing tomorrow evening.”

“oh, i see.” your eyes sting.. “are you back in the apartment now?”

“huh? oh yeah, i just got an uber back from the airport and i’m ordering some food now.”

if you had the energy to scoff and argue you would, for you can hear the distant bouncing of club music on the other end of the phone, most likely muffled by where lando has hidden away in the bathroom.

“that’s nice,” you whisper, picking anxiously at the skin around your nailbed. “well, the show went really well. i think that—”

“babe, you’re breaking up. i’ll call you tomorrow okay?” lando’s voice raises as the bathroom door on his side opens to let the loud music peek in. “i’m sorry again.”

“okay, bye,” you sigh, but the call ends before he can even hear it. sinking into the small sofa of the dressing room, curling into yourself, the tears flow over your perfect makeup — fading the lipstick you’d chosen just for him.

you couldn’t live like this, is what your friends told you when you spent your evening crying on their sofa. but you loved him, and you would follow him to the ends of the earth. you could be married soon, waiting up at night for the sound of the door unlatching. it’s a life you could have and you knew it — even if it wasn’t what you wanted.

INSTAGRAM. august twenty—second.

liked by charles_leclerc, taylorswift and 722,784 others

yourusername a week in neverland

view all comments

user boyfriend lando pics!!!

carlossainz55 so great to see you!👸

⤷ yourusername time for you to come to london now!!!!

⤷ carlossainz55 ✈️🏃🏻💨

user ofc lando brings her to the track even on summer break 🙄😅

landonorris my wendy darling ❤️

⤷ user does this make lando peter pan?

⤷ yourusername 🤍🤍🤍

user still sad we didn’t see lando at the london show :(

writers note: did i promise this new chapter ages ago? yes but just be happy you guys have it now 🫶❤️‍🔥

taglist: @openthenyoor01 @racingheartsworld @celestialend @cha-hot @gr1mes-cc @allywthsr @imsorare @youdontknowmeshh @bellewintersroe @orangetreekid

[anantaru]

DAY 14 —YANDERE CORRUPTION

kinktober 2023. — masterlist | ao3

a/n. the albedo one got quite long and i adore how i wrote him there, i will definitely write a separate fic on this version of him in the future, enjoy!

𖧡 — including — lyney, albedo

𖧡 — warnings — fem! reader, angsty, yan! genshin men & manipulative genshin men, possessive, albedo without emotions, unhealthy behavior, unprotected syx, nipple play/tit play

𖧡 — LYNEY

lyney strangulates the sweltering tension linked on your bodies when he towers on top of you— and he proceeds slowly when he leans into your ear, certainly impressed that his calculations were proven to be right once again.

"i knew you'd come back to me." he breathes out a laugh, that for some reason harbored deep parallelisms to horridity, the tiny hairs around the back of your neck standing tall when you realize that, yes, quite frankly, you had returned to him even after you originally forced yourself to leave him behind.

with a planted kiss on your forehead, lyney steadies both hands around your thighs before feeling up your glistening pussy, his cock head roughing up and down your naked folds, leisurely gathering your arousal on his shaft to mock this situation more notably— the way you were already soaked without much required touches of him only further proved his point.

his rasping groans were continuously deepening but glimmered with an added pitchy timbre, yet were certainly nothing in comparison to the heavenly whines and whimpers you had hoped you'd be able to keep hidden in your chest.

"no, no, no," he mutters, distraught, and you flinch when he prods his rosy tip over your slit to make you sob at him, yet he still wouldn't move himself inside. "you need to be vocal with me, okay?" clearly, you weren't capable to see the danger of the situation, and it's ominously lurking like a frightening shadow on top of you, manifesting in the darkness of his eyes— his pupils lost on the brilliant twinkle around them that you originally fell in love with, his light bangs sticking to his forehead when he, at last, slides himself inside your cunt.

you toss your head into the pillows when he penetrates you, your legs instantly clinging around his waist as he fucks into the solidity of your slit, eagerly awaiting your noises whilst suffocating his own.

lyney cannot be louder than you right now, he had to hear you first— now, that your pussy was so tightly wrapped around his dripping cock, a brew of your arousal and his white pre trickling down his balls and seeping onto the silken bedsheets, staining the clean linen.

you drawl out the bundling moans in your throat all shakily as he carries on to pistol his thudding erection into you, the squelching noises only growing louder by now, buzzing through the darkened room as you lose any form of possible regret in you— his hands continuously tightening around your hips, lusting after wanting to feel more of you, the growing yearn for you, especially of how you're clamping down on his shaft and taking him like a second skin, sucking his length in as he grinds at the spongy patches on your sweet spots.

"that’s right, keep showing me how you feel, baby," lyney groans into your lips, eyes glazed with lust, "because— ah, fuck, you know i need to hear it." and you don't answer him with words, far too embarrassed that it had gotten to this point again, instead huffing out a pitchy weep, being unable to hear anything besides the ever-growing slap,slap,slap of your bodies colliding against each other, finding the skin so effortlessly well as lyney leans into your neck to meet your shoulder, mouthing over the wet spots before reaching your ear at last.

"because you know i'll never be able to let you go."

𖧡 — ALBEDO

"oh, when you look at me like that, my darling, what did you expect?"

with infinite tenderness, albedo kisses your chest after speaking with a weary resignation enlaced around his words, directly taking notice of the rapid thuds behind your ribcage— you're nervous, hanging on every word he said and each move he made.

the soothing trace of his lips prancing on your skin ignited the nerves of your body— the tranquil look on your soft features signalizing such, not to mention your high-lifting noises all together pulled his soul back inside of him, his cheeks bathing in a valentine-red when you squeeze your hips into his groin.

it makes albedo tilt his head with a small smile dancing on his face, all whilst his sunny, kind expression was silently melting off as his focused gaze shadows over your tied hands pushed above your head— an experiment, he might add, something he had originally proposed to you a while back, and thankfully you did give him your agreement to it, a shimmering layer of your sweat touching up your forehead as your breath stammers inside of you the moment he rolls the flat of his tongue over your nipples.

"i noticed—" he stops in midst his sentencing, his hot breath tickling the wet spots on your breasts before he hums to himself, "you like my usage of alternative names for you, am I correct?" he wraps his mouth around your tit before hollowing his cheeks whilst your heels dug into the mattress due to the sheer roughness of it— it's not like it doesn't feel nice, but it appears as if there was no sort of emotion webbed into his handle on your frame, yet your back arches like a bow despite your worry as he traps your nipple between his lips, all the while suckling harder until he lets it go with a loud 'pop'.

you paw around his soft locks before softening your fingers inside his hair, half-lidded eyes unable to ponder around the continues red flags ringing across your entire nervous system, "yes.." you huff out, his calculated ministrations coaxed twitch after twitch from your body, "it.. feels nice to hear it."

you're already so sensitive albedo cannot believe it, besides, he hasn't even laid his fingers on you that much— your soaked cunt was still untainted for the night, although fluttering around nothing but air and practically awaiting him bare and open.

"i will remember that." he says, stoic, and he always did, the most important tool in his life being knowledge and understanding more, understanding you or humans for that matter— just as during his experiments, you so happen to be of perfect help to him, your tits also always so extra reactive when albedo had them inside his hot mouth fusing his saliva with your fluids, it makes you shiver beyond any repair when he digs his tongue against the perky nipple while holding the other breast in his hand, perceiving the immediate kindness and obedience of your returning touch.

with the drawn out foreplay, you're on the brink of a sharp edge, bracing yourself before tangling your hands further into his silken hair, "albedo," you mutter, a blazing heat pummeling on top of your cheeks as his gaze meets yours instantly, "c-can you kiss me again?"

it's silent for a second, yet it felt like an eternal state of being before he props himself up by his hands and curves one palm around your cheeks, moving closer, his facial expression not showing much but he slants against you so close that your lips almost brush against each other, even though they ultimately didn't.

"for what matter?" he asks, and his question seemed genuine, almost as if he was only waiting to receive an answer and write it down somewhere, so he can further study human emotions and perhaps even copy some samples and integrate them in his life, to appear more normal, like he was a mortal being with functioning feelings.

"no reason at all." you bite back a whimper when his grip on you suddenly tightens a little, but then ultimately softens again, pushing himself off your body before resting his weight on his knees, keeping himself slotted in between your quivering thighs— the outlines of his growing erection were obviously drawn on his pants, his chest exposed with his shirt lazily dangling around his shoulders, his skin glimmering golden with no ounce of imperfections in sight.

"i must decline," the man coughs out into his fist, and you can feel the growing awkwardness inside of your chest but also the increase of irritation as to why he was removing himself all of a sudden. for whatever reason, you brace yourself again to ask him, instantaneously covering your naked chest before propping yourself up by your elbows and tilted your head to the side.

"why?"

"—that would give off the assumption, based on books I've read," he stammers, but quickly recollects himself, "that we are harboring some kind of romantic feelings for each other, which, is not the case."

—at least from my side."

your heart sinks into your chest at the realization of what his words truly meant— wow, who would’ve thought? even after all the countless situations you had aided him in his research, have even given him your body to continue his work and sometimes looked after him when he would forget to do so himself— only to be met with the bitterly cold, numbing feeling which was referred to as reality that the man in front of you, albedo, the chief alchemist, had no single sense of human emotions inside his body, besides the ones he acted out spontaneously, almost too perfectly, to make himself fit in.

©2023 anantaru's kinktober do not repost, copy, translate, modify

[akimiiyo]

-> KISSES

⌗synopsis : how genshin men kiss.

⌗characters : diluc, kaeya, albedo, zhongli, childe, baizhu, xiao, thoma, ayato, heizou, wanderer, kazuha, tighnari, cyno, alhaitham, kaveh, neuvillette, lyney, dainsleif, dottore, pantalone, capitano, pierro.

⌗cw : gn!reader, lowercase intended, probably ooc.

his kisses are full of love, but mostly happen behind closed doors. he’s often busy and caught up in his own duties, left craving for your affection all day long before he can come back home to you where he’ll finally get to hold you in his arms and shower you with the love that has been building up over the hours. still, when you’re out together, he refrains from doing anything more than walking hand in hand or letting you link your arm around his. perhaps a quick peck on the cheek here and there, but that’s how far he’ll go when you’re in public. he thinks that everything other than that is too intimate to be done in front of others. not to worry though, in private, he’ll be sure to show you how much he cherishes you.

diluc, ayato, alhaitham, neuvillette, pantalone, pierro.

his kisses are playful and teasing. he has always loved kissing you, no matter if it is a fleeting kiss or a passionate one, he firmly believes your soft lips were made for his. although your kisses are definitely considered a blissful experience for him, what he really adores is your expression after you pull apart. he simply can’t get enough of the small glint in your eyes and the faint hue on your cheeks. he takes it upon himself to kiss you when you least expect it to enhance such reaction. at work? he’ll swiftly turn you around and plant his lips on yours. out with friends? he can’t go on without getting a small peck from his darling. minding your own business? he’ll interrupt your train of thoughts by quickly placing his lips against yours. he’ll leave you wanting for more as he walks away with that usual mischievous smile of his, acting as nothing ever happened.

kaeya, childe, heizou, cyno, kaveh, lyney.

his kisses are sweet and calm. he’s simply a peaceful soul whose current wish is to make you feel as if you were the most important being in the entire world and it’s working. the delicate and gentle way he touches you has your cheeks flaring up, the way he looks at you with such fondness has your heart racing while his kisses make you feel as if you’re floating above the clouds. he’s truly a gentleman at heart, kissing the back of your hand every time you go out or your forehead to reassure you wherever you need him to. it also doesn’t matter how long you’ve been together, he’ll always look up at you before asking for permission to kiss you, only looking out for your own comfort. he would never miss his chance of kissing you as it’s the fastest way to calm him down no matter what.

albedo, zhongli, baizhu, thoma, kazuha, tighnari.

his kisses are hesitant and rare. this poor man is too unfamiliar with affection, especially physical, to be open about his feelings. he loves you dearly, maybe way more than he had first thought when he had started to fall for you, but it’s simply too complicated for him to show you all that and he hates himself for it. he wishes he could be more forward with making his feelings for you clear, however, he is scared that everything will come crumbling down as soon as he gets too used to your warmth. nonetheless, he is genuinely convinced that you deserve everything and more, so he musters up the courage to actually reciprocate your display of affection, and he tries to pour all of his deeply felt emotions into it too. give the scarred man some time, he’ll eventually cave in to your touch.

xiao, wanderer, dainsleif, dottore, capitano.

⌗a/n : can you tell this is my first time writing smth like this?? LMAOO pls tell me if this is cringe pls pls pls 😞 also, im sorry if this makes no sense, i wrote this at 1am 🙏🏻 do tell if i made any spelling mistakes tho!!

want to read more? take a look at my masterlist!

©2023 akimiiyo. do not repost, translate, plagiarise, or modify in any way, shape or form.

[urrockstar-xe]

mistletoe mishaps - j.t x fem!reader

posted dec 2nd, 2023 11:47 am

Anon asked: HII!! Happy holidays! I was wondering if I could request Jason Todd with the prompt “reader has been caught up in the stresses of the holiday, character has been spending the day trying to get them under the mistletoe” Thank you!! 😊

here you are my love! thank u for requesting :D happy holidays!!!

masterlist

wordcount: 0.9k

“Are you sure you don’t want any help with that?” Jason asked for the third time in the last 20 minutes, a mixed look of confusion and concern on his face as he watched you try to untangle Christmas lights.

With a sigh you shook your head no, despite probably needing his help, he had just been shot in his side a few days prior. Finally complying with your request that the Red Hood take the next few days off, an early christmas present for his girl is what Jason was calling it. 

Besides, you were too stubborn to accept the help you had so confidently denied needing to begin with.

so now you were left to untangle lights, make family/friends present lists and unpack boxes of Christmas decorations all on your own.

Although getting out the boxes was something Jason insisted on helping you with despite your efforts to stop him.

Deciding to give up on the lights for now, you abandoned them, tossing them aside somewhere near the tree box and pulling your notepad into your lap, resuming your list of present ideas.

“What are you getting Bruce?” You asked, not looking up from the book as you wrote down some ideas for Dick and Tim. “Hell if I know” Jason shrugged, chuckling to himself as you urgently wrote things down, both of you knowing you’d hate yourself for the messy writing later on.

“What do you even get for someone who has everything?” “Plus the batmobile” Jason added, earning an exaggerated groan from your lips in response. 

“Oh my god, I’m forgetting something” You sat up, eyeing all the boxes in front of you before standing up, discarding the notepad on the couch by Jason. “What are we missin’ babe?” Jason flipped through channels on the TV, knowing he’d probably get scolded for trying to help as you searched through the boxes. 

“Mistletoe!”

you ignored the way Jason’s eyes lit up with an idea, opening another box. “I’ll go get you some, okay? it’s an easy errand for me to run, and you’ll have one less thing to do.” Jason explained, standing from the couch and pulling on one of his discarded hoodies that littered your apartment. You reluctantly agreed, sending your boyfriend off with a quick kiss and instructions on what kind to get, and then he was out the door, and you were left with the mess surrounding you. With no idea where to even start.

After what felt like ages but was really only an hour, you heard the front door open as you set a snowman cookie jar on your counter. Jason was only partially surprised at how the apartment had barely changed when he was gone but he also didn’t really care as all he had in mind was the mistletoe in the small paper bag. 

“Hey, Jay. Do you think that garland by the door looks dumb?” You asked, mindlessly taking the bag, setting it on the counter unbeknownst of the small extra mistletoe in his hands. 

“It looks good, babe, you’re doin’ a good job.” Jason shrugged, softly grabbing hold of the soft material covering your shoulder, effortlessly spinning you around, and holding the mistletoe over your heads. You gasped, taking note of the grin on your boyfriend's face but not noticing the way it dropped when you reached up and took it from his hands. “Awh, you got extra? thank you, love.” You smiled at him appreciatively before turning back around and taking off, careful to not trip on any boxes as you worked away in the living room, leaving a rather flustered Jason behind. 

Jason shook his head, disbelief covering his face as he turned to follow you but opted out of that when he came up with a plan B.

The eerie silence from Jason concerned you far later than it should have when you tilted your head as if to listen better just as a painful groan exited your boyfriend’s mouth. Instantly you ditched the tree ornaments finding Jason clutching his side as he leaned against the counter, mistletoe now attached to the entrance of the kitchen. Sneaky Bastard

“Jason, I told you not to help!” You said, worriedly removing your boyfriend’s hand from his waist and lifting his hoodie to check if the bandage was bloody and for any hints of stitches ripping. 

“I’m okay” Jason huffed out, setting his hand on your shoulder as if the counter didn’t provide enough support. You sighed, looking up at him with worried eyes before taking his hands and leading him into the living room, with no arguments from Jason when you sat next to him on the couch.

Feeling his arm snake around your shoulder, this time you decided to just breathe as you leaned into his good side, examining the mess of your apartment before seeing Jason grab something from the side table in your peripheral view. 

“What is that?” You asked, curiously, and as if on cue he held out the small extra mistletoe. You gasped quietly at yourself in realization. “Oh my god, I’m sorry, Jay, I didn’t even realize. I’m so dumb” You covered your face with your hands while rambling, earning a laugh from Jason, followed by a kiss on your hair. 

“C’mon, doll, let me see you” he smiled at the sight of your face, now holding the mistletoe just slightly above your heads.

Jason palmed the mistletoe, still holding it in his hand when he hooked his finger under your chin to place his lips exactly where they belong

on yours, of course.

[lixzey]

Letters

The Sixth Letter.

Timothée was about to open the sixth letter when his phone rang.

"Fuck," he muttered before answering the call.

“Timothée, are you ready? The car's already here," his manager said over the phone.

“Oh shit, I forgot," he mumbled. “Give me ten minutes.”

Timothée silently cursed himself. He forgot he was going back to New York.

He ended the call, then proceeded to get ready. He took a quick shower and put on some sweatpants and a sweater. He wasn't in the mood to dress up.

“Hurry up, Timothée!” His manager yelled from outside his hotel room. “Your flight is in an hour!” 

“I'm coming!” He yelled back as he tried to fit his clothes in his suitcase. “Geez, you can't wait for a few minutes?” Timothée muttered under his breath.

“Timothée Chalamet, if you don't drag your ass out here in two minutes, we're leaving without you!” 

“I'm here!” Timothée yelled, dragging his suitcase and backpack outside of the room.

“What took you so long? No, don't answer that. Come on, let's go!”

Timothée passed his suitcase to the hotel staff that was with his manager. The three then descended down to the lobby.

As Timothée was getting into the car, he realized something.

The letters! Y/n's letters!

He couldn't leave these behind, no matter what. 

He hadn't finished her letters. He would be betraying her if he did't finish her letters. 

“I'll be right back!” Like lightning, he quickly ran back into the hotel, back up to the receptionist. “I left something in the room!” 

“What toom were you in?” The receptionist asked lazily.

“Room 1238.” He quickly answered. The receptionist gave him the keycard,

“Don't forget to bring it-” Before the receptionist could finish, Timothée was already dashing towards the elevator.

As soon as Timothée entered the room, he quickly searched the room. There it was: the basket of eighteen letters, Y/N's letters. He grabbed the letters and tied them up with the ribbon.

In a matter of seconds, Timothée was out of the door. He practically threw the keycard at the receptionist. He hopped into the car, the letters clutched in his hand.

It was funny how he already felt a sense of loyalty to this girl. He had never met her, yet he feels more than obligated to know her.

Timothée went through the letters, sorting them again by date. He opened the sixth letter, dated July 1, 2023.

Dear Timothée Chalamalabingbong,

Hey, did you miss me?

Yeah, as if.

I'm too damn delusional, sorry about that.

Anywho, I just saw the new trailer for Dune Part Two. And it's absolutely amazing!

I am absolutely excited for it! I can't wait to see it in theaters. Paul Atreides, my Lord, you can ruin my life if you want to.

Timothée loud out aloud, earning a weird look from his manager. “What's that?” she asked.

“Oh, nothing. Just fan mail.”

Did you know that you're fancasted as Regulus Black? I was shocked when I saw a video edit of Paul Atreides as Regulus Black.

I wasn't even interested in the younger Black brother, but boy, you changed everything.

Now I'm absolutely obsessed with a character you didn't even portray.

I can't wait for the Wonka trailer! I can't wait to see you as Willy Wonka.

You in a top hat? Boy, I'd fight a kid for a golden ticket.

You're so gorgeous, it actually hurts.

God, I'm getting sinful thoughts.

Forgive me.

Not.

All my love,

Y/n. 

Timothée felt his cheeks burn. He was used to his fans thirsting for him. But this felt different.

Maybe it's because she only wrote eighteen letters, or maybe because she was pouring her heart out into her letters.

He wanted to find this girl. He wanted to understand why she stopped writing.

But how would he find her?

Timothée sighed as he put the letter back in its envelope. He silently vowed to find this mysterious girl.

No matter what.

[sweetheart-satoru]

ethereal

you wanted him, but you knew he could have so much better

author's note: omg guys i literally never write angst and i haven't written in soooo longggg, i got lazy in the end. i first wrote this october 8th 2022 and now im editing and adding more (and writing pt 2) on july 27th 2023 😭 😭 😭 

part two here !!

he's one of the prettiest people you have ever seen. it's not fair how he can't be yours. gojo satoru. the strongest jujutsu sorcerer. your best friend. you love him, but he doesn't love you like that. "y/n-chan!" he walks and waves towards you.

it hurts to know he isn't and most definitely won't be yours. you're weak, he's strong. he's beautiful, you're not. he's everything you want and needs. but you aren't what he needs. you know someone else can fulfill the job of being someone who he actually needs. not you. never you.

"hi. how was your weekend, were you busy? you didn't reply to my texts." he pouts. "hi." is all you say back to him, grabbing your books and closing your locker. how is he so energetic this early? he squinted his eyes in confusion before a couple of girls approached him. you don't bother trying to listen to whatever they say.

you've read all his texts, just purposely turning off the read receipts so he doesn't notice. you've gotten many texts such as;

satoru: hi (nickname)

satoru: we should go out and watch horror movies >:)

-

satoru: helloooo?? it's been days :((

satoru: did you get your phone taken away??

-

satoru: y/nnnn i saw you post your dog on ig

satoru: are you ignoring me?

satoru: are you mad??

-

and lots more plus missed calls.

you stand right beside him as he talks to girls much prettier than you. most of them have the ugliest personality you have ever seen, but you know how your best friend goes for the prettier things.

you bite your lip and walk away to your next class. once he notices you're gone he calls out to you, "don't leave without me, y/n-chan!" god, even his voice is beautiful. how could you ever be friends with someone like him? why would he ever want to be friends with someone like you? you don't deserve him.

you don't say anything, you just hug your books closer to your chest and continue your way. "y/n-chan?" he asks, slowing down behind you, "hm?" you turn around.

"are you mad at me?" you shake your head, "no." you don't bother giving him any type of reaction. "yes, you are." you shake your head again, "i'm not." he frowns.

"liar." he pokes your cheek with his finger, "you haven't looked or talked to me since last thursday, it's wednesday." you push his finger away, "i'm not mad." he rolls his tongue into his cheek, grabbing your wrist. you turn to pull away but he gives you a look that reads, 'don't bother, i'm not letting go.'

"just tell me what is it. did i do something?"

"no."

"well, i clearly did something to make you not want to talk to me." you shrug, "i'm just tired." now it's his turn to shake his head, "no, it's me, isn't it? every time you see utahime, nanami, haibara, suguru, or ieiri you're happy but whenever i try and open my mouth around you, you just look the other way and ignore me. what's wrong?"

"i said it's nothing." you pull your wrist back, "let's just go to class." you two walk in silence as he tries to remember if he did something wrong.

[javier-pena]

interlude: compersion

Pairing: Katie x f!reader (Katie x Javier Peña)

Word Count: 3.6k

Rating: Explicit (🤭🤭🤭)

Summary: Katie comes home from work with a story to tell.

Warnings: established polyamorous relationship (and navigating what this means) | fingering | dirty talk | a bit of hair pulling | mentions of alcohol | semi-public sex (mentioned) | unprotected p in v sex (mentioned)

Notes: So the thing is I actually wrote this in August 2023, and I wanted to not post it right away for reasons that are too complicated to discuss in this short note. This is set after Triumvirate, Part 4 which I obviously haven't written yet, but I woke up this morning with this strong urge to post this short drabble, so here it is. As always, I want to thank Dani @alexturner for encouraging me to work on this story, and for still indulging something that started as a hungover idea literally years ago. I had a lot of fun reading through all your excited comments this morning that you left almost a year ago!!

masterlist | join the taglist

***

“It was fine.” That’s the answer Katie gives you to the question whether she had a nice day at work. “No, not really,” she answers whether anything exciting happened. “He’s going to be late … paperwork.” It’s curious how her voice breaks when she says that.

You’re in the kitchen, chopping vegetables for a light salad. Katie is there too, still in her office attire, nursing an ice-cold beer bottle, nervously picking at the label. Your gaze definitely isn’t fixed to her throat every time she takes a sip, and it most definitely doesn’t get stuck on the exposed flesh that appears between the silk fabric of her blouse when she stretches her back.

Katie is agitated tonight, as if there is something on her mind she wants to tell you but can’t find the words for. You’ve been there before – the first time she killed a man, coming home terrified of you looking at her differently now. The one time her estranged best friend from college died and she couldn’t handle the grief on her own. And the one time Javi shouted at her in front of the entire team and her heart cracked a tiny bit (this one was easily fixed – Javi made it up to her and it hasn’t happened since). It just takes her a while to say the words, but you know she’ll eventually find them, and you’ll be there for her once she does.

“I picked up this at the market today,” you change the subject, holding up a borojó. “I thought we could try it after dinner.”

Katie looks at the green fruit warily, and her calculating gaze makes you laugh. “What?” Katie challenges.

“Nothing … your … you look at everything like it’s a problem to be solved. It’s endearing.”

Katie’s cheeks darken with a flush. “I was just wondering how we should go about cutting it open.”

“One step at a time,” you say, putting down the knife you’re holding and wiping down your hands. “Did something happen at work today? Something you need to talk about?”

Katie grimaces. “I can never hide anything from you, can I? I mean, Javi is … that’s one thing, that’s his job. But you …”

“Call it female intuition.”

Katie rolls her eyes, but settles them on you with a loving gaze. “Later,” she says.

You nod. “So something did happen then?”

“Oh my God.” Katie laughs one of her mesmerizing laughs that doesn’t leave anyone cold. “You bitch.”

Your heart skips a beat. “Thanks. That’s something I learned from Javi.”

Katie smiles at you, but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes.

“Are you sure you don’t want to tell me now?” you try again.

Katie stands up from the small kitchen table with a sigh, leaves the bottle of beer behind. “It’s nothing bad,” she says, leaning against the kitchen counter next to you. “I’m honestly not even sure why I feel so nervous talking about it.”

You watch her, waiting for her to continue.

“Javi and I … we …” Katie takes a deep breath, lowers her gaze to the kitchen floor.

This beginning could be followed by a million different outcomes, infinite possibilities. Your heart beats faster now, some of Katie’s nervousness rubbing off on you. You feel her naked arm next to yours, her bare skin hot to the touch. She rubs her neck, brushing against your arm in the process.

“Today,” Katie starts again, “Javi called me into his office.” She lowers her hand, grips the kitchen counter behind her like she needs all the support she can get. “We did it.” She stumbles over the words, and then her gaze is on you, searching your face for any kind of reaction.

You’re not quite sure how you’re supposed to react. “You did what?” you ask.

“Oh,” Katie whispers, pulls a grimace, buries her face in her hands. When she looks back up, she’s bright red. “We had sex.”

Several things happen at once. You laugh out loud with relief because you had expected the worst, even if you didn’t show it. You laugh because Katie, your Katie, the most confident, the most outspoken, the sexiest woman you know, struggled to admit she fucked her boyfriend. And you feel a tingling sensation at the base of your spine, one that wasn’t there a second ago.

“Okay,” you say, licking your lips. “Okay,” you repeat.

“I know we agreed to be open about it all.” Katie is stumbling over the words again. “I don’t want you to think I was trying to keep it a secret.”

“I wasn’t thinking you were,” you assure her, trying to ignore the tingling that’s growing stronger. “It’s not like I don’t have sex with Javi when you’re not around … it’s not like we don’t have sex when he isn’t.”

“I know,” Katie sighs. “But it’s …”

You know what she can’t bring herself to say. It’s the first time Javi and Katie had sex and you weren’t there, something that was bound to happen sooner rather than later. And yes, you were scared of it, at least to an extent, scared of them discovering they don’t need you around at all, scared to become the third member of a pair. By the looks of it, Katie was also nervous about this moment, about your reaction to it.

Your reaction is not what you had expected it to be.

“What was it like?” you ask, leaning in so closely you can feel her nervously exhaling.

“What?” she asks, her breathless voice not so different from what she might have sounded like in Javi’s office today.

“Go on,” you say, kissing her neck right where you can see her pulse quiver, “tell me.”

You feel her swallow hard beneath a second kiss. “I …”

It’s such a rare thing for Katie to be at a loss for words. It’s such a rare thing for you to have the upper hand. You grab her jaw, move her head, so more of her neck is exposed, and relish her sharp intake of breath. She shifts against the kitchen counter, her hands searching for purchase, as you kiss her skin softly, slowly, trying to show her that there is no reason at all to be nervous about your reaction, no reason to be ashamed about letting your boyfriend fuck her.

“There isn’t much to tell,” she finally says, a rasp in her voice. “It’s not like we planned for it to happen … it just did.”

You nip at a tendon in her neck. “How did it happen, Katie?”

You using her name like that makes her tremble. “He wanted to see me about some reports that had been misfiled.” She groans as soon as the words are out of her mouth. And you know what she’s thinking – there are sexier ways to tell this story. You let go of her jaw, place your hand on her naked thigh just below the hem of her skirt, and stroke her lightly.

“Was he very angry at you for misfiling those reports?” you tease, unable to stop yourself from smiling against her neck.

An airy laugh escapes her throat and you feel her relax against the kitchen counter. “I would never misfile anything. It was someone else.”

“And did you tell him that?” you ask automatically, feeling lightheaded from breathing in Katie’s perfume, lightheaded from the happiness you’re feeling right this very moment.

“I did, and he …,” She giggles when your fingers on her thigh brush against a ticklish spot. “… He looked at me with that funny look he always gets when someone tells him he’s wrong.”

You know that look all too well, the furrowed brow, the slightly parted lips, as his brain is trying to process what he has just heard. Katie has her eyes closed now, as if she’s right back there with Javi in his office. She shakes back her hair, her dark curls tumbling down her back, and you kiss your way along her jaw, toward her lips.

“He …,” she clears her throat, “he walked around his desk, past me, and shut the door. I vividly remember the sound of the lock snapping shut because it was so quiet after that. And it was clear I wasn’t leaving until we had resolved the issue.”

“Do you think,” you start between kissing her chin and the corners of her mouth, “that the whole thing was just an excuse to get you to come to his office?”

Katie laughs again and your heart summersaults. It’s your favorite sound in the world. “No, he had the reports right there on his desk.”

You huff in disappointment.

“But I’m sure he knew I hadn’t been the one to misfile them,” she adds.

You want to kiss her so badly but you know it would break the tension between you. And you would be giving her what she wants without her having given you anything so far. With a heavy heart you draw back, even remove your hand from her thigh, and lean against the counter. She opens her eyes, the lids fluttering with confusion.

“What happened then, Katie?”

You watch as a flush creeps up her neck and into her cheeks. “He came closer to me again, still asking about those reports.”

“And you …?”

“I was also focused on the reports.” The sly grin on her lips tells a different tale.

“I’m starting to think nothing happened after all,” you say, mirroring Javi in her story, stepping in front of her so she’s trapped between your body and the kitchen counter.

Katie’s sly grin grows wider. “Oh, you’re mistaken.”

“Then why not just tell me?” you ask. You pop open the highest button on her blouse, revealing some of that flushed skin.

Katie lowers her eyes to your hand hovering above the next button. Doubt flickers across her face before she answers, “It really wasn’t all that interesting.”

The next button comes undone, and now you can see the top of one of her black, lacy bras. You wonder if you’re the second person to see it today. “I still don’t quite understand how you got from talking about those reports to …” You’re absent-mindedly tracing the outline of one of Katie’s breasts over her blouse, and before you can finish the sentence, she suddenly flinches.

“Please.” Her whimper sets the base of your spine on fire.

You cup her breast, not surprised to find her nipple rock-hard beneath your fingers. “Quid pro quo, Katie,” you whisper into her ear.

“Okay.” Katie exhales shakily, but you still notice how she straightens her back just a tiny bit so your fingers come a tiny bit closer to squeezing her nipple. “He kept going on about those stupid reports and I began to feel frustrated because he didn’t believe me. So finally, I snapped, ‘This isn’t about those reports at all, is it?’ And he just stood there, right in front of me, and I could watch the penny drop.”

You reward Katie by squeezing her breast, rolling her clothed nipple between your thumb and forefinger. She rewards you with a strangled moan.

“I don’t know if it was all a set-up or if he really had no idea what he was doing,” Katie goes on, “but the next thing I knew he had his hand wrapped around my wrist, and my wrist pinned to his desk behind me, and he said, ‘You should be more careful how you talk to me’.”

You kiss her neck, just below her ear. “Did that turn you on?”

“Yes,” she admits breathlessly, and you have to fight hard to keep down a whimper. “But we were in his office and I … I didn’t think … we had never …”

No, of course they hadn’t. They didn’t want to start any rumors about Javi cheating on you with the new, pretty girl at the office. But you also didn’t want them to hold back on your account. You let go of Katie’s breast just to place your hand back on her thigh, your fingers brushing her skin under her skirt, higher than they had been before.

“What did you tell him?” you ask, feeling as if you’re right there with them in Javi’s office. If you focus, you can even smell the cigarette smoke on her.

“He … I …,” Katie stammers, then bites her lip as your fingers brush the inside of her thigh. “I told him I’m going to talk to him whichever damn way I please if he keeps accusing me of lying. And then …” She’s bright red now, a sheen of sweat is covering her brow. “And then he …” She swallows. “He pushed his hand beneath my skirt and right between my legs and when he pulled it back out, his fingers were … they were coated …”

Your fingers are right there too, brushing up against her underwear, then pushing the fabric aside to find her soaked. She moans loudly at your touch, right into your ear, and when you pull away her eyes widen in protest until she sees it's to show her how wet she is for you.

“Did you make the same pretty sounds for him?” you ask.

She shakes her head. “I couldn’t. He … he was kissing me.”

“Was he now?” You kiss the corner of her mouth, and her hand flies up to wrap itself around your arm. You kiss the other corner and she squeezes.

“God,” she groans. “What more do you want from me?”

“The whole story.” You kiss the tip of her nose. “Every.” You kiss her temple. “Little.” You kiss her cheek. “De -” Before you can finish, she has the collar of your shirt bunched up in her first, and her lips are on yours, hungrily taking and taking and taking. You push up against her until your bodies are molded together by forces much stronger than you. You feel her shake against you, you feel mounting pressure between your legs, you feel her tongue brush up against yours like she hasn’t kissed you in years. All you can think about is grabbing her hand and shoving it down your pants but … not yet.

You push yourself off her and she immediately follows, so you grab her hair at the back of her neck and pull her back. “Come on, tell me the rest.”

Fire flickers in her eyes for a brief moment as she considers protest, rebellion even, but then she realizes there’s no use. You have the upper hand. “There isn’t much … I don’t know …,” she says between deep breaths. “It all happened so fast.”

Your lips are back on her neck as you kiss a trail toward her chest, toward the skin you exposed there earlier. When you cup and squeeze one of her breasts lightly, she arches her back.

“The reports, they … he just pushed everything off his desk,” Katie continues. “I think I … I flinched because it sounded so loud, I was sure someone would come … or maybe I should’ve thought that, I don’t know. I don’t remember, I just remember him lifting me onto the table.”

You reward Katie by reaching under her skirt and pressing two fingers against her clothed clit. She presses herself into the touch, rolls her hips, her eyes firmly closed now.

“He just … his pants were undone, he pushed them halfway down his thighs, I was shoving my skirt higher up. He … he didn’t even take off … he just pushed my underwear aside and then he was inside of me.”

Now you do whimper at that image, as you think of Javi’s naked butt, his tie that is coming undone, of Katie’s feet wrapped around his waist, only one still stuck in a shoe, of them both eagerly pushing and pulling at each other.

Katie opens her eyes and looks at you, waiting for your next question. It doesn’t come to you; you have no idea what else you could ask, your brain preoccupied with what she has told you already, your body preoccupied with screaming for release. Her hand finds its way past the waistband of your trousers, between your legs, and now it’s your turn to lean into her touch. She doesn’t tease, pushes past the waistband of your underwear too, and makes you tremble with her fingers on your clit. You’re soaked, you know you are, and it doesn’t seem to surprise her. She just rolls your clit beneath her fingers, mimics your movements between her own legs. When you slow down, she slows down, when you push the tip of your finger inside of her, she does the same. It’s utter bliss and torturous hell at the same time, and if you’re not careful, you won’t get to hear how the story ends.

You grab her wrist, pull her hand out of your pants. “Later,” you say, kissing the tip of each of her fingers, tasting yourself on her skin.

“He put his palm over my mouth,” Katie continues, “because I couldn’t keep quiet.” Her eyes are bright and shiny with arousal and they don’t leave yours for a second. “I had my hands on his shoulders, I was … he kept pushing me up the table with each thrust. I could hear the drawers rattle. It was … I think we were too loud.”

“But that’s how you like it, isn’t it?” you tease, pushing two fingers into her at the same time.

“Yes,” she moans so loudly you can probably hear it floating out of the open kitchen window and down onto the busy street below. “But he was so quiet. Just a few grunts. I wanted to hear him, I … But before I could do anything, I was …”

Now she averts her gaze, and you see the tips of her ears turn pink.

“He just … God,” she groans, and you’re not sure if it’s because you hit that spot inside of her or because of the memories. “He let go of my mouth and kissed me and called me his good girl.”

“You are a good girl, Katie,” you tell her and kiss her sweaty brow. “You’re always so good for us.”

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” she curses, gripping your shoulders. She’s about to come, you can feel it, you can hear it in the way she pants, so you slow down. She whines, a sound that happens completely involuntarily, but she doesn’t complain.

“What about Javi?” you ask, your voice quiet now. You can feel your mouth go dry, and you’re not quite sure why.

“He pulled out and lifted me off the table. I thought we were done.” Somewhere between those pants there’s an airy giggle. “We weren’t.”

“Of course you weren’t,” you say, and kiss her brow again.

“He turned me around, pinned one of my wrists to my back. I could feel him shove my skirt back up my hips, and then he …” Her breath hitches.

“You’re saying the words this time, Katie.” You brush your palm softly against her clit.

With a steady voice, she says, “He pushed into me, then pushed my chest down onto the desk.”

You feel her flutter around your fingers at that memory, and your body responds with an aching emptiness of its own. “Did he come inside of you?” you ask.

She nods.

“Say it,” you demand.

“He fucked me in that position but it didn’t take long. He … It was just a few thrusts and then he was coming.”

“What did it feel like?”

Her eyes widen as she stares at you, shock and arousal lighting up her eyes.

“What did it feel like,” you repeat, “knowing anyone could have walked in on you at any time?”

“Please,” Katie whimpers, pushing down onto your fingers with trembling hips.

“Tell me, and I’ll let you come.”

She’s so fucking close, you can feel her tighten around your fingers. But she nods and licks her lips. “Liberating,” she says, and you know exactly what she means. “I came again when I felt him come inside of me, when he finally let go and swore and gripped me tighter. I could hear voices outside on the corridor, and he could hear them too, and he thrust up into me a few more times to get me to make some sounds. He …”

You’re so close to Katie now you’re practically straddling her leg. She holds you close with a hand on your hip.

“Please let me come.”

When you had woken up this morning, there had been a nagging unease in one of the chambers of your heart, one you couldn’t quite explain. Now, in the evening, you’re not only able to name it, you see it was entirely unfounded.

When Katie comes, she holds your gaze, encourages you to rub yourself against her thigh. She makes the prettiest sounds, whispers your name. Kisses you.

Nothing has changed.

You’re still trembling against her when her breathing is calm again, you’re still swallowing hard when she is fixing her skirt and buttoning up her blouse. Then she moves you so your back is against the kitchen counter, and kisses you slowly, putting everything she can’t say into the way her lips move across yours.

“You’re both always so quiet when you watch me come,” she whispers into your ear, and now it’s your turn to feel your cheeks heat up. “Let’s see if I can make you let yourself go.” She bites your bottom lip, then sinks down onto her knees in front of you, pulling your pants and underwear with her.

And just when she places your leg around her shoulders and licks through your wetness, you hear the key turn in the lock.

***

triumvirate taglist: @1andthesame | @acdeaky | @bangaveragewhitewine | @batdarkladyvampir | @beskarprincessjenny

@chippedowlmug | @darksber | @darnitdraco | @deliriouslybewitching | @desir-ae

@dobbyjen | @fireproofmarta | @for-my-satisfaction | @girlbossnancy | @jennaispunk

@jettia | @justanotherblonde23 | @kirsteng42 | @knivesareout | @lavenderluna10

@lawfulgranola | @letaliabane | @lexloon | @lovesbiggerthanpride | @nembees

@omgreally | @paintlavillered | @pedropascalsx | @pedrostories | @pennyserenade

@phoenixhalliwell | @pilothusband | @rebel-fanfare | @reluctantlyresponsibleadult | @skyshipper

@spacenerdpascal | @tacticalsparkles | @tae27 | @the-blind-assassin-12 | @theorganasolo

@thesmutslut | @trickstersp8

javier peña taglist: @almodovarispunk | @burdenedwithchaos | @cjillian97 | @daimyosprincess | @giggly-otter

@hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmsstuff | @mandalaur | @pookipedia | @sin-djarin | @welcometoshiphell

perma taglist: @alexturner | @amneris21 | @din-jarhead | @harriedandharassed | @martellthemandalor

@nobodys-baby-now | @od-ends | @pedrorascal | @radiowallet-writes | @xoxabs88xox

[magicalbuttertarts]

Backstage at All Out (18+)

Adam Page x Reader

AEW Masterlist

Wrote this quickly. Not been proofread

Warnings: Smut under the cut. Oral (m receiving) cum swallowing

©️ magicalbuttertarts 2024: do not repost or translate my work. This is the only place I post my work.

Summary: Giving Adam Page a blowjob before his match against Swerve at All Out 2023.

You meet Adam in his dressing room, telling the security guards to wait outside. They tell you they can't leave, but you just tell them to enjoy the show.

You drop to your knees, quickly undoing Adam's pants, and the security guards leave the room, slamming the door behind them.

You pull his cock out of his pants and put your mouth around the tip, slowly taking him into your mouth.

You don't stop until your face is in his pubes and you can hardly breathe through your nose.

You don't move, you wait for him to place his hands on the back of your head, letting him take control.

He slowly pulls your head back, and you make sure to look up at him, as you knew what he wanted.

Adam craved eye contact during these moments.

He held your head in place as he fucked your throat and face.

He didn't stop his brutal pace even when he say the tears streaming down your face.

He would pull out of your mouth here and there to give you a chance to catch your breath.

But that was never long enough.

He would fuck your throat once more.

His movements getting more and more frantic.

Until he stilled, groaning your name loudly as he came down your throat.

"Swallow it." He grunted, and you made sure you did.

Once he pulled his softening cock from your mouth, you opened your mouth to show him that you swallow all his cum.

He seemed to be more relaxed.

And that is all you wanted before his big match.

Tag list: @lghockey @nicoleveno14 @madhatterbri @legit9thlunaticwarrior @hooks-martin @wwenhlimagines @melissahausen @faerieofthenightcourt @tahiri-veyla @crowleysqueenofhell

[writingsforwhatever]

Part 1: Love letters to Matthew (m.s.)

summary: matt never felt the same way until he finally did.

warnings: very very slow burn. this is a long read, go get a snack! if you don't like reading, don't read it. ALSO, i have one shots based of this story. Their little moments leading up to the reader and matt confessing their feelings for each other. Let me know if you all are interested! enjoy my little bored mind.

A/N: Hi, before you continue reading this story, please be aware that I wrote this work of mine two years ago for my creative writing. It's my baby, and I hold it close to my heart. I lost inspiration for it a while back, but now I'm sharing it with the world. This is a long read because it's the entire story in two post. (Part 2 is posted). It's in no way connected or affiliated with Matt Sturniolo. I just made him the character because he fits the character's personality, and I needed to envision someone while I continued writing it, so I thought, why not?

word count: 27,231k

"If I could choose to live anywhere in the world, I would still choose to live here," she remarked, passing the bowl of Cheetos to Matt. "I mean, I could also pick a place in Sweden, somewhere in Northern Europe, but who could leave Massachusetts?"

Matt, sprawled out on the couch with the TV playing in the background, shrugged. "You could," he replied, smiling down at her. "Come on, don't be so negative. You can't possibly stay here forever."

"Why not? What's wrong with here?" She asked, standing up. She was now facing Matt, and a change of heart suddenly took hold. "I mean, I guess you're right." She flopped down next to him once more, sighing. "Do you think we'll ever fulfill our dreams and go to Europe together?"

"Of course, you idiot. We will, don't worry about it too much," he reassured her, glancing at her. It was the 19th day of December, a snowy day in the Bay State, and excitement was in the air. Airports were busier than usual, which meant one thing: Christmas was just around the corner.

September 2023

"Damn it," she cursed as she unpacked her suitcase. It was September, with summer in the process of ending and fall about to arrive. She couldn't believe her parents had thrown a "party" to welcome her back from her two-month long vacation. Before leaving, she had made it crystal clear that she didn't want any crazy shit, but it turned out that Luke had talked to her parents behind her back while she was spending time with him abroad. She glanced at the poster on her wall once again and whispered with a smile, "That idiot."

Luke.

The boy with light brown eyes reminiscent of autumn leaves, the one who swam throughout college, briefly dropped out, and then returned to college. He was the boy she met at Samantha's birthday party, the one her little cousin had a crush on - Luke.

"I'm so sorry," she apologized frantically, searching for the green tissue pack in her little bag while setting the glass of beer on a nearby table. Her white shirt was now stained with liquor, which was just great. The embarrassment of the situation was overwhelming, leaving her unable to think straight.

"No worries," Luke chuckled, clearly taken aback by the unexpected encounter. "I should've been more careful."

She handed him the tissues, her cheeks flushing with embarrassment. "That was so embarrassing. I'm truly sorry," she said with a sheepish smile.

"Don't worry about it. It’ll dry," he replied with a reassuring smile.

In that moment, she wished she could vanish into the ground, hoping some higher being might intervene and make it happen right there and right then.

"I’m going to miss you so much," Luke sighed, embracing her from behind.

She turned to face him, her expression softening. "Me too, but we'll see each other again on Christmas, okay?"

"That's a long time. I'll really really miss you," he admitted with a sad smile.

"Oh, shut up. You're probably tired of seeing my face every day," she giggled while still unpacking her suitcase.

"I could never. I love you too much." He chuckled, shaking his head.

"That's a nice touch," she pointed at her wall, changing the subject.

"You like it? Your mom helped me," he replied, smiling at her.

"Ya’ll are so dramatic," she chuckled.

Welcome back! – Haley, Mom, & Dad

After that fateful night in March when she met Luke, she had slowly stopped composing letters to Matthew altogether. The dynamics of her relationships with him had shifted, leaving behind a stack of handwritten words that now belonged to the past.

Matt.

Matt, with eyes as blue as a warm sunny day's sky, was someone she could lose herself in. He was the boy she loved so deeply that if her heart were torn from her chest, his name would be etched there. Matthew, the only one she had ever loved before Luke.

During the summer of ’20, she came to the realization that she had developed a crush on her best friend. On the night he drove her home, she silently prayed for God to make her feelings for him disappear. It seemed absurd; this was Matt, her very own Matt, her dearest friend in the world, and she was in love with him.

As they both grew older, she began to perceive him in a new way. He underwent changes; growing out his hair became something she loved. His height increased too. Whenever she sees him, a permanent smile adorned his face, and she found herself deeply and irrevocably in love with him. Everything he did captivated her, particularly the moment he slept on her shoulder in the car. It was ridiculous how loudly her heart throbbed at that time.

"Do you think they'll mind if it's just the two of us, Matt?" she asked, settling into the passenger seat.

"Why? We've done this plenty of times before; they'll be okay," he reassured her, quieting her with a gentle shush as he started the car.

On the day they left for LA, tears streamed down her face, staining Nick's shirt. "We'll be back for Thanksgiving, you goof," he reassured her.

No matter if it was for Christmas or her birthday, she didn’t care but the fact that her best friends were leaving at that moment weighed heavily on her. "You’re moving to the other side of the country, and I’m heading to college," she sniffled, the airport surroundings continued to add to her gloom.

Chris, empathetic, offered her a comforting a hug. "The other side of the country is crazy,” he said. "You can visit us, you know."

Her response came with a hint of frustration, "I'll be in college, Chris."

With a warm smile, Chris reassured her, “You can visit us during breaks. We're just one flight away."

She gazed at Matt, noticing his pink cheeks. "Everything's going to be okay. We'll see each other again in no time," he smiled sadly at her. She wanted to believe Matt wholeheartedly, as she always did, but deep down, she knew that things would never be the same.

August 23, 2021

Dear Matt, I miss you all so much. Mom and Dad just dropped me off at college, and my roommate, Samantha seems nice. She's from San Diego. You don't think my Boston accent is interesting, do you? She keeps saying it is, but I don't think so. I hope you're having a blast over there. I know you are. I really wish you were here. I miss you the most. Massachusetts sucks without you guys.

September 15, 2021

Dear Matthew,

I already miss you. It's funny; we just spoke on the phone, and here I am writing you a letter already. You sounded really happy, which makes me happy too. By the way, I just realized I brought Nick's shirt with me and your white hoodie too!! I didn't mention it earlier because I thought you might want them back. Haha.

Anyway, I can't wait for Fall; maybe we can visit a pumpkin patch. I know how much you love those. I'm looking forward to seeing you and everyone. Homesickness is setting in, and I miss home, especially you. I miss you the most.

P.S. Samantha thinks Nate is cute, but I don't think she’s his type.

The days went by, and she found herself missing him even more. The calls and texts lessened, she became busier, and Matt was texting her when she was at class and would reply to her when she was face down on the bed, asleep.

She struggled to admit it, but the Instagram posts featuring their new friends tugged at her heartstrings with a sense of longing. She couldn’t shake the feeling of being left out, as if life was in full swing without her presence, playing out somewhere in Southern California with her friends and the love of her life, while she sat alone at UMass, eating a sandwich in the cafeteria. She yearned to turn back time to those carefree 9th-grade days, where she’d laugh at Chris’s antics in class or when Matt and Nick would whisk her away for impromptu beach adventures.

September 28, 2021

Dear Matt,

I saw a guy today who I thought looked just like you in an ice cream shop while I was out with my friend. I think I might be losing my mind. College is going pretty well so far. Alahna sent me a snap from early 2021 last night, and it was of you getting annoyed at Nick because he had the megaphone while we were in the drive-thru. It was so funny. I thought you looked great that night, but then again, when did you ever not? Congratulations on hitting 4 million!

Oh, and does Chris have a crush on Natalie? Never mind, I'll ask him about it later. I miss you guys so much.

Years had passed since she last laid eyes on the photos that adorned the walls of her childhood bedroom. The pink and white paint of the room served as a poignant reminder of the unrequited love that had once consumed her heart.

The photos of her, Matt, and their friends playing in the snow, or the selfies Nick snapped during sleepovers when Chris and Matt would crash on the floor of Nick's room - memories she cherished dearly. The thought of past Thanksgiving gatherings tugged at her heartstrings, recalling how he'd tower over her at the table, his tender touches igniting a warmth in her skin. She loved Matt deeply, more than words could express.

October 11, 2021

Dear Matt,

I got my hair cut today. It felt weird. I was going to take a selfie to send it to you, but I got shy. I hope you're doing well over there. I heard you guys went to a party; Nick won't stop talking about it, lol.

I can't believe it's been months since I last saw you in person, even though I saw you the other day through a video call, it's just not the same... Time is flying by.

Also, Chloe just passed her driving lessons. I wish you guys were here to see it. I know she texted Nick about it, but still, I miss you, Matthew. Anyway, I'll text you later. I have this professor who's very old, and he hates late students.

She did see them on Thanksgiving, and she couldn't forget how Matt looked. Those moments made her question how she could go on with her life, knowing he was completely oblivious to her deep feelings for him. She hated herself for falling in love with him. It was a realization that left her feeling stupid.

November 30, 2021

Dear Matthew,

You looked absolutely handsome at dinner last week. I couldn't help but wonder how LA gets to see you like that every day without turning the whole state upside down. You mentioned missing me, but I'm pretty sure I missed you even more. It's odd that Mom keeps talking about how much taller you've grown, because she should have expected that. Yesterday, when you brought up about meeting a girl, my heart sank. I believe you genuinely like her. I didn't want to ask more because I didn't want to be too obvious, but I think Chris saw my smile disappear. He was kind enough not to ask about it though so it’s all good.

Why do I still miss you even when you're sleeping right beside me on the couch? It's as if you're so far away.

It was early August 2022 when she paid them a visit in California for their birthday. She could recall every detail – the weather, the ride from the airport, and the woman in his arms.

She had faced numerous challenges before, like the time she had to carry Samantha, who was far too drunk for her own good, or when Chris begged her to retrieve his backpack in subzero temperatures. However, this situation felt entirely different. As the doors swung open, she yearned to be anywhere but there – perhaps back in her small dorm room in Boston.

From within, she could hear the voices and music, the uproar of celebration and delight. Outside, the soft hum of Los Angeles traffic persisted as cars rushed by. Yet, above all else, she swore she could hear the unrelenting rhythm of her own heartbeat, as if it were the only thing keeping her grounded in that moment.

The woman was already there, wearing a warm smile, eagerly awaiting her boyfriend Matt's arrival. She couldn't help but admire Matt's taste, as in that moment, she found the woman to be stunning. With her dark blonde hair, brown eyes, and a height of 5'3, she gave off an endearing aura that she effortlessly carried with her. The woman greeted everyone with an open-hearted smile, embracing her as if they were long-lost friends reuniting after a decade apart.

"Hi! It's so great to finally meet you. I've heard so much about you," the woman's voice was flawless, yet there was a hollow feeling within her. She genuinely liked the woman and had an inkling that she would become a significant presence in their lives for quite some time to come.

Her gaze fixed on Matt, a mixture of confusion and hurt in her eyes. How was it possible that he hadn't disclosed that he had a girlfriend? Those nights when he would call her, those were the very nights she longed to be in his arms, not realizing they had already been spent with someone else.

That night was etched in her memory, a vivid recollection of the moment she had realized it was impossible for her to remain friends with him. She couldn't maintain their friendship, not while she was overwhelmed with sadness while he was immersed in happiness.

December 6, 2021

Dear Matt,

Today, I spent the day baking cookies with Haley but the real takeaway is being back in Boston and just one car ride away from you.

Weird, Nick brought up the name of the girl you're talking to, and it took me by surprise a little because you never mentioned her to me. I could sense Chris was giving me the stare, like he knows something, but that's just Chris, right?

It was a scene she had seen countless times before, both in movies and in real life – the clichéd tale of falling in love with your best friend and the inevitable heartbreak that followed.

There he sat, a picture of handsomeness in the midst of the kitchen, so immersed in what he's doing that he only noticed her staring when he looked up and playfully asked, "Any boys I should know about?" She chuckled, finding Matt's question entirely characteristic of his random sense of humor.

"No one, Matt," she replied, rolling her eyes with a smile. Inside, she thought, "It's only you. It was only ever you."

"I find that hard to believe," he said, casting a shy glance her way, his smile never wavering.

She pressed, "And why is that?"

"Because you're..." he started, his voice trailing off, leaving the unspoken feelings hanging in the air between them.

"…because you're amazing. You're good at baking cookies and-"

"Please, shut the fuck up, Matthew," she blushed, looking away.

"It's true! Ask Chris. He thinks you have a college boyfriend you’re not telling us about," he defended himself.

"Well, Chris is stupid," a small frown appeared on her face.

"Hey, I heard that!" She looked toward the boy sitting on the couch in the living room. "Shut up, Chris, Nick is sleeping."

She was standing over the kitchen counter, finishing the gifts she had prepared for her cousins and parents. She rolled her eyes, feeling a bit exasperated. "You're all so dramatic; I'm trying to do something here, fucks sake.”

"Let me help you with that. I'm almost done with this," Matt offered, standing beside her. His proximity alone nearly sent her into a frenzy.

He was incredibly touchy with her, and it only added to the intimacy of their connection. His frequent and intimate touches with her left her in a state of confusion. She couldn’t help but wonder if it was normal for best friends to share such physically intimate moments like this.

"You're terrible at this," he chuckled.

"Whatever Matt," she grumbled, continuing to tape the wrapper.

He leaned even closer, almost putting his entire weight on her. "Matt, you’re so annoying! Get off me," she exclaimed.

Years later, she learned that Chris had glanced at them, shaking his head in bemusement, and thinking about how oblivious his brother Matt was to her feelings. Chris couldn’t help but realize how deeply in love she was with his brother, even if she had never voiced it. She didn’t need to, Chris thought.

August 2022

She felt stuck in place. In that moment, she felt like time had frozen. Her feet glued to the ground.

The realization hit her like a ton of bricks - he had a girlfriend, all this time, and no one had told her. It was a profound sense of betrayal and feeling forgotten, it didn't matter that their relationship is just starting, she had loved Matt for years!

It was as if she wasn't worthy of knowing this crucial piece of information about the person she had secretly loved for so long, even though he didn't know he was the love of her life. The waves of emotion threatened to make her sick, but she managed to maintain her composure.

Chris remained by her side throughout the entire party, his friendly nudges and conversation attempts providing a comforting presence. "You know, I still can't believe you're here," he remarked, genuine surprise in his voice. "It's only been a couple of months, right?"

"Only a couple of months, Chris," she confirmed, her gaze fixed on her drink.

"I missed you so much. We all did. It felt like forever since the last time I saw you," Chris continued, offering a playful smile.

She managed a smile in response, though it didn't quite reach her eyes. She kept her thoughts to herself, silently yearning for the familiar comforts of Boston, even though it no longer felt like home. In truth, nothing felt like home as long as Matt was in the arms of another. Chris could see through her facade. He understood the reason behind her dull mood, realizing it was linked to the presence of two specific individuals in the room. However, he respected her feelings enough not to confront her about it here and now, choosing to let her navigate her emotions in her own time

The days seemed to stretch on, with summer taking hold. Matt's girlfriend had flown back home to Florida, they were back to their old routine, but her heart couldn’t forget the feelings she had buried deep within.

They drove her to their favorite restaurants and shops in L.A., but the nagging ache in her heart persisted. With her pretending to enjoy the days while ignoring the sinking feeling that gnawed at her treacherous heart, she tried to be as cheerful as possible before her return to the East Coast.

Until one particular car ride with Nick and Chris temporarily absent and inside Ralph's, she couldn't keep her feelings bottled up any longer and decided to have a heart-to-heart with Matt. It was a brief respite from the facade of happiness she had been trying to maintain.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you. It all happened so fast," he said, his eyes pleading for her to meet his gaze.

She cut him off, "It doesn't matter, Matt. I guess I just felt really sad that you didn't tell me. I'm your best friend, for heaven's sake." She fought back the urge to cry, keeping her emotions expertly concealed.

"I'm sorry, okay? It all happened in a whirlwind, and suddenly, you were on a flight from Boston to L.A.…," he trailed off. "Plus, I wanted it to be a surprise." He sheepishly smiled.

"God, Matt," she whispered, genuinely taken aback by the revelation.

She continued, "It's okay, it's all in the past now. I was surprised, no doubt."

She smiled, rolled her eyes, and forced a lighter tone into her voice. "So, tell me about her. Where did you guys meet?"

He chuckled, sensing that things were somewhat getting back to normal, but it was never quite the same, she thought to herself.

The night before she left for Boston, they drove and explored the city once more, just the two of them. Chris seemed too tired to join, and Nick had editing work to do.

"I wanted to take you here. It's one of the best viewpoints in L.A.," Matt explained, his excitement palpable.

"What, Griffith Park?" she replied, laughing. "You mean the spot from GTA, right?"

"Yeah, exactly. We used to play that game, remember?" he smiled down at her, feeling nostalgic.

How could she forget?

After several minutes of driving, Matt parked the car, and a heavy silence hung between them, no one seemingly wanted to step out. "Thanks for spending your summer here. It means a lot... That you're here," he expressed, looking at her with his blue eyes that shone through the Los Angeles darkness, seemingly even brighter than the city lights.

"Of course, anything for you guys," she replied, breaking their eye contact, and shifting her gaze to the dashboard in front of her. How could he do this to her? How could he not know? She wished she could freeze this moment in time, his face looking so soft in the gentle glow of the traffic lights. His tired eyes and tousled hair that had always made her heart leap and now, she felt like she could cry right there; she loved him so much and he didn’t know. She also wished she could tuck this memory away in the pockets of her thrifted yellow dress.

Tonight felt different, marking the end of summer, and they were both a year older. They weren't 19 anymore, and yet, she remained deeply in love with him.

~

Nicolas Sturniolo was a smart man, and his brothers secretly admired him for it, even if they would never openly admit it. Of course, he noticed the lingering glances she directed at Matt but never said anything. Nick believed that Matt had informed her about his girlfriend months before she arrived in LA but was shocked upon learning that his brother didn't. That explained the sudden change of mood he'd seen with her at the party.

The older brother had always had an inkling about it since they were young, ever since Matt hadn't asked her to prom. He remembered how she had waited for Matt to notice her new hairstyle, and when Matt already did compliment her, Nick swore he saw her smile so big it could light up the entire school that day. Nick thought his brother Chris was dense, but Matt was on a different level.

He had brought up the subject with Matt once, while they were in line at TSA, just before a flight to California, a mere 7-hour journey away. "You do realize she's in love with you, right?"

"What?" Matt's brows furrowed; genuine confusion etched on his face.

"Come on, Matt. We all know she's had a crush on you since high school," Nick exclaimed, adjusting his backpack.

"That's not true, Nick," Matt responded, shaking his head in disbelief. He found the idea ridiculous.

"Whatever, Matt. You guys are both stupid. I see the way you look at her, and I see how she looks at you. What's holding you back?" Nick shrugged.

"Because we're just friends, Nick? Can't two people of the opposite sex be friends?" Matt retorted, feeling exasperated.

"Okay, Matt, we get it," Chris chimed in, adding his two cents. "We're just telling you what we see."

As Nick appeared impatient and tired of the conversation, and Chris pretending to not care, Matt pushed the thought to the back of his mind.

December 18, 2021

The sight of you on my porch brought me immense happiness. Dad was yelling, which woke me up, and he said you guys were at the front door. Honestly, that pie was incredible; I couldn't believe you three made it.

I wanted to thank you for joining me today. I understand you're not a fan of walking in the snow, but I loved every moment of it.

Christmas is just around the corner, and it's only a matter of days now.

I often wonder if you notice how frequently I steal glances at you whenever I have the chance.

As I sit here writing this, I’m looking at the Christmas gift I got you. It's a necklace. It might seem cliché, but I genuinely hope it brings a smile to your face whenever you see it.

~

She held onto the memory of that day, those tense days after learning he had a girlfriend and before the car confrontation.

"Are you planning to sleep on the couch?" Matt asked.

"I am," she stubbornly insisted.

"Come on, you're our guest; you can sleep in my bed," Chris mumbled with a mouthful of chips.

"And have you sleep here on the couch? No way, Chris," she replied firmly.

Nick chuckled, watching Matt's obliviousness. How could his brother not realize that she was upset with him?

"Alright, then we'll both sleep in my bed," Chris suggested, glancing at Matt for his reaction.

Matt was puzzled. They always shared his bed, so what was the issue now?

Snatching the blanket Nick had given her, she hurried downstairs to reach Chris's room.

Matt's jaw hung open. "What did I do?" he mumbled, frowning at his brothers.

Nick shook his head, grinning. "I'm off to bed. Matt, quit being stupid."

"What?" Matt looked to Chris for answers. Chris shrugged, "I guess she just wanted to sleep in my bed tonight, Matt."

"But-"

"Goodnight, Maaaatt," Chris sang, leaving Matt bewildered and hurt.

"But she always sleeps with me," he whispered to himself, still trying to make sense of the unexpected change.

Lying in Chris's bed that night, she silently yearned for divine intervention. Avoiding eye contact with Matt as she passed by him on her way downstairs, she couldn't ignore the confusion and hurt etched across his face. Deep down, she desperately wanted to pull him into a hug and tell him that things were alright.

It was unusual for her to sleep in Chris's bed, given that she always slept in Matt's, so the sudden change had caught Matt off guard. She was aware of it, but at that moment, her anger towards him outweighed her care.

Earlier that day, Madi had teased her about her apparent coldness toward Matt when they were getting tacos in Melrose. It seemed that everyone had noticed her subtle avoidance of his touches and comments, leading to hushed discussions among their friends.

She was also certain that Chris was a light sleeper. He didn't snore, but he definitely woke easily.

"Couldn't sleep?" Chris whispered, turning to face her.

"Yeah, too much on my mind," she replied, exhaling wearily.

The stillness of the night, combined with their exhaustion, allowed for a comforting silence to settle between them. A beat passed, "Why don't you just tell him?" Chris suggested, his voice barely audible. She couldn't see her best friend, but she sensed the sadness in his gaze.

"Tell him what, Chris?" she deflected, shutting her eyes.

"You're not fooling anyone, you know? You might fool my stupid brother but you can’t fool me and Nick," he remarked, adjusting himself under the covers.

Silence descended once more, but this time, it felt oddly reassuring knowing that one of her closest friends was aware.

"It doesn't matter. He would shut me out."

"No, he won't. He genuinely cares about you, and you know it," Chris assured her. While Chris might not be privy to his brother Matt's true feelings, whether he reciprocated them or not, one thing was certain: Matt cared deeply for her, more than she could ever comprehend.

"It's also different now that he has a girlfriend. I don't think she'd appreciate me sharing a bed with her boyfriend. It's more about respect," she added.

Chris disregarded her attempt to change the subject and pressed on, "Matt loves you, bro. If he ever shuts you out for telling him how you feel, then he's an idiot. You have me and Nick by your side forever. If you never tell him, you'll never get the chance to express your feelings."

“You guys should talk.” He added.

"I don't think I'm ready, but I'll think about it," she replied, her exhaustion evident in her voice.

Chris nodded, even though she couldn't see him. He understood the weight of the emotions she was carrying.

"Of course, at your own pace."

"Chris?"

"Hm?"

"Thank you."

"Anything for you, kid."

In the quiet of that night, as dreams and sleep intertwined, she found solace in the knowledge that Chris, her closest friend, understood the depths of her emotions. It was a small source of comfort amid the uncertainty that had clouded her heart.

As they both drifted into slumber, she imagined a future where everything would fall into place, where she could openly express her feelings to the boy upstairs. In the warm embrace of their Los Angeles home, she held onto the hope that the friendship that she shared with Matt would weather these feelings she has for him.

January 10, 2022

Dear Matt,

I have to say, you can be pretty stubborn. I warned you not to visit me and bring me food because I’d probably end up puking it all out (eww), and now you’ve gone and caught the cold too. Now everyone’s infected!

 But you know what? You bringing me food made my heart leap, I’m pretty sure you know how to make me fall in love with you even more. Nick texted me earlier that he and Chris have lost their sense of taste because of Covid, but you seem to be fine already so you’re making them try different drinks.

I’m feeling a lot better now and I’ve tested negative for Covid, thankfully. Still, I’m dreading the day I go back to school. Ugh.

Alahna mentioned about wanting to visit you guys, but I know deep down she just wanted to see Chris. Haha.

Just so you know Matt, I love you. I think you probably know that already, but I wanted to say it anyway here.

She was certain that Matthew Sturniolo was going to be the death of her. The mischievous boy had cornered her against the kitchen counter, removing the chocolate residue that Nick had playfully smeared across her forehead. It was a sticky, gross mess, but Matt was attentively cleaning it up with a wet face towel. And there he stood, in all his splendid glory – tall and handsome. Nick and Chris's laughter in the background only intensified the fluttering of her heart.

"There, all gone," he confirmed, a warm smile gracing his features, the kind of smile that always had the power to weaken her knees.

"You're such an idiot, Nick," she scowled, avoiding Matt as she walked toward the center of the room.

"What? It kinda suits you," Nick replied, and the hearty laughter of Chris and Matt filled the room.

She flashed a playful smile. "Whatever. Are you guys ready to go?" she asked, her impatience showing.

The car ride proceeded as usual, with Matt behind the wheel and Chris in the passenger seat, en route to Chloe's house for a swim and to meet their other friends. The broken AUX meant the soft tunes of the radio filled the air, harmonizing with the breezy Boston weather.

"Matt, if you don't put me down, I'll kill you!" she screamed.

"Come on, it's not that serious," he laughed, making his way towards the pool.

"I don't care! Seriously, Matt, don't do thi-" But before she could finish her sentence, she found herself submerged in the pool.

"You're such an asshole," she grumbled, retaliating by splashing water at him. He chuckled and swam away.

A few feet away, Chris was engrossed in conversation with Nate about an Amazon package he had ordered, while Nick sat nearby, casually nodding and occasionally chiming in.

When she turned her attention back to Matt, he quickly splashed water on her face again. "Stop it. I mean it," her voice carried a trace of laughter.

"Okay, okay." Matt gazed at her for a moment, his smile fading.

"What?" she grumbled, feeling a twinge of self-consciousness under his gaze.

"Nothing. You're just really pretty," he said.

Moments like this only added to her confusion about where she stood in his life. Her heart skipped a beat, and she was momentarily taken aback, but she was swift to respond and hide her feelings. "Yeah, pretty annoyed at you," she said, pinching her nose to hide the forming blush.

Matt shook his head, a warm chuckle escaping his lips. He decided not to delve further into the matter. Why was he acting like this?

They lingered at the pool for a few more minutes. Matt's intimate touches making her melt, and his constant glances at her lips only added to the simmering heat of the Massachusetts summer.

The ride back home was interesting, she couldn't ignore the flutter of anticipation mixed with uncertainty that had settled in her heart. The day had been filled with subtle gestures and flirty remarks, leaving her wondering if their friendship was tiptoeing towards something more.

That night, when everyone had returned to the boys' home and a drowsy Matt lay beside her, she allowed herself to sleep soundly, knowing that something was undeniably changing between them.

February 3, 2022

Dear Matt,

I watched with Sam your new video. Chris mentioned about a little dinner you guys will have later, I’m so sad. I wish I was there. Anyway, Nick is Sam’s favorite. I couldn’t help but agree. Haha.

I know you’re busy with like stuff there and me too. My professors are killing me with these projects and assignments, also, I learned matcha helps with anxiety. I’ll have you taste it next time we see each other.

Also, you keep asking me why I’m sad, I didn’t think you would notice. How do I tell you, Matt, that the reason I’m sad is because I love you?

March 14, 2022

It has been so busy lately, oh my god. I lost my trusty pen because we moved dorms, but it’s all good now. I got so much work to do with finals coming up as well.

Anyway, I saw your tiktok with Nick today. You looked really cute with the Eeyore shirt, and I’m glad you’re still wearing that necklace I gave you last Christmas.

I miss you Matt. I’ll text you later when I’m done with class.

The car ride to IHOP proved to be quite intriguing, to say the least. Chris had evidently concocted a few surprises before their departure to California and before Spring break came to an end, forcing her to return to Morrissey Blvd.

Matt seemed unusually cheerful that day, expressing his desire to take her out, as well as everyone back home, for a little treat.

In that moment, it almost felt like things were back to the way they used to be. She occupied the passenger seat, engaged in a playful argument with Chris over control of the aux cord. Out of the corner of her eye, she caught a glimpse of Matt, his amusement evident as he fought the urge to break into a broad smile.

As Nick and Chris hurried to enter the house after Matt had parked the car at their Somerville home, he prevented her from getting out. Matt fixed his gaze on her, a gentle smile dancing across his face, as he softly uttered, "I really missed you."

There he was again, stirring emotions within her, clouding her thoughts. "Me too," she responded shyly.

"Truth is, I wanted to spend the day with you, alone," he admitted, rolling his eyes playfully. "But I couldn't say no to them."

"That's okay."

A brief silence settled between them.

"What's on your mind, Matt?" She furrowed her brow, sensing that he had something he wanted to say something.

"Nothing. I'm just happy I'm home..." He trailed off, his voice carrying a hint of longing. "Seeing you, being here... with you."

Inside, she silently pleaded with him, "Don't do this to me, Matt. Don't say these things and expect me not to fall in love with you."

"Why? Has LA not been treating you well?" She pressed.

"No, no, LA's great," he replied, offering a smile before shifting his gaze towards their small garage at home.

"What is it?" she whispered softly, just loud enough for him to hear.

"I really don't know," he confessed.

Meeting his gaze once more, she couldn't help but smile. "Okay, then tell me once you've figured it out." She chose to lighten the mood, knowing that he was dangerously close to unraveling her with those looks he kept giving her.

April 8, 2022

Dear Matt,

Today you asked me what I want.

to be with you, that’s all I want.

September 2023

When Luke left for the San Diego, she looked around her room.

She gazed at the framed photo that hung beside her closet. In the picture, she and Matt were watching a movie, and slowly, they had leaned on each other. As they grew more comfortable, she had briefly considered adjusting her posture, but she couldn’t resist a sleepy Matt. The next thing she knew, his arms were wrapped around her, and they were nestled together, fast asleep. Neither of them had acknowledged it, but Nick had managed to sneakily capture a photo of them when he woke up at 4 a.m. to turn off the living room lights.

A bittersweet feeling loomed over her. She remembered the day all too well. With his mom waking them up for waffles and before things took a turn for the worst.

May 13, 2022

Hi Matt,

Only a few more months till I visit you guys in L.A. I’m kind of nervous but Chris assured me that everything would be fine.

I’m also excited to meet Madi, Nick said she’s nice, so I feel like we’ll get a long pretty well.

Everyone around them can see how much they love each other, from her mom and his mom to her dad, her sister, and even the entire Sturniolo family, including their grandmother. But a silent understanding prevailed; no one uttered a word about it. Perhaps they were all waiting for the day when Matt and her would finally act on their feelings. That's why when Luke entered the picture, it took everyone by surprise. Her mom, Elizabeth would drop hints about Matt’s brothers, mentioning that she saw their mom at the grocery store, and asks about Justin's new girlfriend, in which were all met with her silent nods. From behind her, her parents shared a knowing look.

Luke was the safe choice. He didn't make her feel like she had to beg for his love. He was dependable, polite to her parents, adored by her cousins, and fulfilled all the checkboxes of what she needed. He was unafraid of public displays of affection, and constantly tells that he loves her. Luke wasn't bothered by the story of her intimate friendship with Matt; he remained indifferent.

As time passed, the difference between Matt and Luke became more apparent. Luke, with his warmth and openness, brought stability and security to her life. Their relationship flowed smoothly, and the world seemed to accept them as a couple without question.

Yet, the blue-eyed boy who had once held her heart had an uncanny ability to infiltrate her thoughts. No matter how much she had tried to move on and embrace this new love, Matt remained an enigma. He was the unspoken part in her life, a book she couldn't close. She always wondered if he ever thought about her as she did about him.

It had been a few months since she had made the choice to be with Luke, months of happiness and contentment. But the heart has a way of keeping secrets, and hers held a special place for the blue-eyed boy in Los Angeles.

June 9, 2022

Dear Matt, two more months! God, I’m so over these classes, I swear. Samantha got really drunk two nights ago, it was so funny. I should’ve taken a video but whatever. Mom called me earlier today asking for my flight details, I guess she’s as excited as me.

July 16, 2022

Summer is finally here! I mean, it's been here for a while, but I'm looking forward to seeing all of you for your birthday next month. You better bring me to the thrift shops Nick was talking about the other day in the call.

August 17, 2022

I still can't quite believe you never told me about her. So, she was the girl Nick mentioned the last time you guys went home.

I couldn't help but notice the way you looked at me, and how I instinctively recoiled when she introduced herself. How did I not know? And why does she seem to know so much about me when I didn't even know her name?

Chris tried to console me that night, and I appreciated it. I also noticed how Nick was glancing at me, likely gauging my reaction to it all.

Matt, you don’t know what I’d give to stop being in love with you.

As the months passed, the girlfriend revelation of Matt was soon forgotten. She became increasingly immersed in college life. While Matt would text her from time to time and they would occasionally have video calls with Nick, she learned to accept the way things were. She had to make a conscious effort to push aside the memory of that night in Griffith Park when they had laughed and hugged, with her secretly gazing at his face and him giving her that look she adored. She came to the realization that if this was how things were going to be, she would be happy for him, even if it meant breaking her own heart. She contemplated Chris's words, but they didn't matter; what mattered was that Matthew was happy, and that's all she cared about. It seemed like everyone had forgotten about it too.

Matt was a private person, subtly posting little reminders of his girlfriend, but it didn't escape her notice how much it hurt her heart.

The longer she suppresses her emotions, the easier it seems, she believes. Suddenly, seven months have passed since that fateful night in LA, and March ‘23 is approaching steadily. Deep down, she's aware that she hasn't been honest with herself throughout this entire period, but she resigns herself to the reality of the situation. It is what it is, and she's compelled to carry on, masking her true feelings.

September 20, 2022

Dear Matt,

It's been a month since that night in LA, and Chris has never brought up our conversation again. I trust him. Life has felt quite mundane lately. I still have my moments, but I'm doing okay. I'm trying my best not to dwell on it too much. I suppose I felt betrayed, you know?

Yesterday, Chloe and Alahna came to visit, and we ate burgers. When I finally admitted my feelings to Alahna, I broke down. She told me she had always known I was in love with you, and with Chloe agreeing, both of them sharing the same sentiments, it left me wondering just how oblivious you can be.

October 5, 2022

Dear Matt,

I don’t know why you look at me that way, as though you could genuinely love me, even though deep down, I know you don't, and I know you won't.

Nick mentioned your plans for a trip to Florida to visit her. I tried to convince myself that it wouldn't hurt, but my own curiosity led me to check her Instagram. It was a mistake. I stumbled upon a photo of you two kissing on the beach, and I felt like such a fool for thinking this was something I could handle. I ended up in tears, obviously, poured my heart out to Samantha. I desperately wanted to forget, to stop these feelings.

I truly did try not to love you.

I really did.

November 3, 2022

"You know I hate these types of parties," she grumbled. "Do I even look good?"

"Girl, please, you look good every day," Madi assured her.

The night was still young, and everyone was on their way to this party the boys had been invited to. Chris was practically bouncing in the front of the car, and Matt, always effortlessly handsome, drove with calm and cool confidence.

Nick tried to comfort her. "You'll be fine. They're actually nice."

But she tuned out Nick's words as they entered the venue. The booming music only heightened her nervousness amid the lively crowd.

When Nick, Madi, and Chris entered the party, she found herself walking closely beside Matt. He was well aware of her uneasiness at these kinds of gatherings. With a gentle touch on her lower back, Matt guided her towards a group of people. Leaning in, he whispered into her ear, his face mere inches from hers, and for a moment, it felt like they were the only two people in the entire party. "You look really good tonight. Don't worry too much. I'm here."

A thought crossed her mind – he's such a flirt without even realizing it.

Under the party's red lights, his lips looked incredibly inviting. If only he didn't have a girlfriend living across the country, she might have kissed him. Of course, that's only if he wanted to kiss her too.

She sighed, as the party continued to buzz around them and the night progressed, surprisingly, she found herself genuinely enjoying the evening, engaging in conversations with Madi. However, she couldn't help but notice that Matt kept stealing glances at her. Fueled by newfound confidence, she walked up to him. "Hey, stranger," he greeted her with a smile, her savoring the sight of that familiar grin.

She could feel his warmth. "Shut up, Matthew. I'm so hot right now; you guys weren't kidding about Los Angeles being intense."

"You are hot, sweetheart."

"Yeah, this leather jacket Madi lent me—"

"No, I don't mean your outfit."

Before she knew it, their faces were inches apart, his eyes locked onto her lips. This was it, she thought. He was going to kiss her. After all those years of pining for him, the past didn't matter anymore. What mattered was now.

He was driving her crazy. And then it happened – he kissed her, and the world stopped. Their lips met in a passionate, consuming kiss. Sure, she had kissed boys in high school, but this was different. This was Matt. She could feel his hands on her neck and waist, his lips following hers when she needed to breathe. This was how it was supposed to be, she thought, her lips on Matt's. Her best friend, the boy she had loved since they were 18, kissing her beneath the Los Angeles night sky. As their lips remained locked in a passionate kiss, she felt an electric charge surge through her. All the inhibitions, the uncertainties, and the fear of what might follow were momentarily forgotten. All that mattered in that heart-pounding moment was the taste of Matthew Sturniolo on her lips, a forbidden but intoxicating sensation she had yearned for since they were teenagers.

“Five years of friendship flushed down the drain just so I could know what Matthew Sturniolo tastes like.” (Ifykyk. This is one of my favorite lines from a book!!)

When their lips brushed again, a soft moan threatened to escape her swollen lips, and her head began to swim with desire.

"Oh my god," she muttered senselessly, her mouth still locked with Matt's.

His touches ignited a fire within her, the heat of his mouth overwhelming her senses.

"Fuck," he breathed, pulling away from her and running his hands through his unruly hair. "Fuck, I shouldn't have done that."

Her stomach sank as embarrassment washed over her. She didn't speak for a moment, still reeling from the intensity of the kiss. "I'm sorry."

"No, I—" He choked on his words. Horror painted his expression as he struggled to make eye contact with her. "I shouldn't be kissing you."

His internal conflict was palpable, and the emotions on his face left her feeling utterly perplexed. They were both breathless, caught in a state of shock. She was about to cry when Chris walked in with a cup full of soda.

"Are you guys ready to go? Nick's about to beat a bitch up-" Chris asked laughing, seemingly oblivious to what had just transpired. "What happened, Matt?"

A concerned look began to appear on Chris’ face as he assessed the aftermath of the situation.

"Just let it go, Chris," Matt muttered, looking at the ground.

"Let's go," she insisted, taking quick strides past Chris to find Nick and Madi, eager to get away from the confusing situation and head back home. Meanwhile, Chris tried once more, his voice hushed as he approached his brother. "What happened, Matt?" Seeing Matt in such a shocked state had him deeply concerned and worried about his brother.

November 29, 2022

I never should have visited again and allowed you to kiss me the way you did because I couldn't stop thinking about it afterward. The pure shock and regret in your eyes were enough to shatter me into pieces. We never discussed it when we got back to your house. Chris, with his knowing glances, probably figured it out, and I know you told him but thankfully, he didn't press the issue. The morning after was just as uneasy; you didn't come out from your room until 4 pm. Nick was concerned, but I was too nervous to say anything, feeling like a colossal mistake that had happened.

But I knew, when you looked at me to say goodbye at the airport, that I was hoping it meant even a fraction as much to you as it did to me.

We didn't speak for two weeks following that day, but today you sent me a text saying you were sorry. Our conversation resumed, but neither of us mentioned it again. I didn't ask if you had told her; that was none of my business.

You have to understand, Matt, that before you kissed me, I was always yours, if only you had looked closely enough to see it.

Christopher Sturniolo had never appeared shocked in his entire life. It was as if the heavens had granted him this shocking revelation.

Nick's voice echoed, "Okay, what the hell happened between you two at that party? You've been moping for days, and you didn't even take out the trash when I asked you to!"

"We kissed!" Matt lashed out at Nick. “Happy now, Nick?”

"Oh, shit. This is good. I mean no, this is bad, you have a girlfriend," Chris winced.

Matt's thoughts raced to Florida. His girlfriend’s going to be furious.

"I know," he muttered, feeling a headache coming on.

Days had passed since they dropped her off at the airport and her departure making Matt more confused as ever.

He groaned, unable to believe he had allowed that situation to unfold. He had also been ignoring her.

"Get your shit together, Matt. Seriously, you can't just kiss her and pretend it didn't happen!" Nick's frustration was too intense for Matt's liking.

"This is bad, Matt," Madi's voice sounded small as she contemplated the situation, her thoughts divided between the girl in Florida and the other one in Boston. This was undoubtedly going to be a messy affair, she thought.

Their comments offered no solace to Matt's torn heart, a whirlwind of suppressed feelings from his teenage years. He didn't genuinely regret the kiss, but he had a girlfriend, someone good who trusted him, and he had shattered that trust by succumbing to his feelings for his best friend.

"Okay, okay, Matt, breathe," Chris tried to comfort his brother.

"I can't do this," Matt said, standing up in frustration. "Let's not talk about this again. It's too much."

He stormed off and slammed his bedroom door shut, leaving Nick, Chris, and Madi in stunned silence.

"I don't understand why he just won't admit that she's always been it for him?" Madi questioned, her gaze shifting between the two brothers.

"Because he's an idiot, Madi," Nick replied, his annoyance evident in his tone.

The situation was complicated, and he couldn't shake the feeling that he was playing with fire. His relationship with his girlfriend was hanging by a thread, and the unspoken tension with his best friend was driving him to the brink of frustration.

Matt knew he had to make a choice, a decision that could alter the course of his life. The pain of knowing he had hurt someone he cared about and the fear of losing the person who had been his confidant for years weighed heavily on him.

He was at a crossroads, and there was no easy path to take. He couldn't escape the truth, unsure of where his heart truly belonged.

December 20, 2022

Dear Matt,

It seems like things have returned to normal. Nick has stopped bombarding me with constant texts, asking if I'm okay, and Chris's late-night calls have ceased. I heard you broke up with her, I know you'd never share all the gritty details with me, but it probably was for the best. I can't help but feel like a terrible person for playing a role in your relationship's downfall. Alahna said it wasn’t my fault, but I feel like she’s just saying that, you know? I can't shake this feeling, I keep thinking I wasn't worth the risk. But then, you had a girlfriend at the time, so I understood. You'll have to forgive me, because I've never stopped thinking about that night since you kissed me.No one will ever be able to knock the wind out of me again. Not like that, not like you, Matthew.

January 2023

Matt clung to the familiar comforts of their Boston home, the very thought of remaining in the same bed that had cradled him in warmth and surrounded by the cherished memories of his childhood with his brothers offered solace to his melancholic heart.

Despite the fact that it was only the second week of January, the jarring noise of Nick's suitcase scraping against the floor downstairs served as an unwelcome reminder of the imminent reality awaiting him in just two days.

He yearned for the days before their move to California when life was different. He pined for the crisp, cold embrace of winter and the warm, welcoming smile she had for him whenever she would visit. Without a doubt, summer was his least favorite season.

Three days ago was her birthday, yet she was still in Nantucket, enjoying a vacation with her family. She texted him just two hours ago, explaining that she would be busy exploring the place with her aunt.

He had also gifted her a necklace, a token of their shared memories, as she had once given him last Christmas ago. The necklace was a heart-shaped silver pendant, a symbolic representation of his heart. He had chosen it with such devotion that Chris had teased him, saying he was like choosing an engagement ring. Matt silently agreed, but the truth was, he couldn't forget that night, the kiss they had shared, and how she had looked painfully beautiful beneath the soft, dim lights of the party.

His mom offered a comforting hug upon their arrival from the airport; Nick had probably told her over the phone about what had happened last November. As he looked around, everything had changed, yet he always felt the same.

He noticed it, as did everyone else, when Alahna and Nate visited; she didn't come. She was distant, and he couldn't help but feel guilty. It was all his fault. He had kissed her and pretended it didn't happen, only offering a sorry that didn't even comfort his own heart. Matt couldn't help but recall the conversations he had with his brothers late at night, in the car, about her being in love with him. Had he been so foolish not to notice the longing glances she directed his way?

It was four days after Christmas when he finally got up and entered Chris's room, the brightly lit space giving him a headache.

He found his brother scrolling through his phone, stress evident on Matt's face.

"Wow, you look like shit," Chris said, looking up. "What's going on? Nate has been bugging us to go to his house. Apparently..."

"Chris," Matt whispered, frustrated.

Chris leaned in, his concern evident in his eyes. "What's eating at you, Matt?" Matt had now settled on his bed, his legs touching Chris's sock-covered feet.

Matt sighed heavily, his emotions bubbling to the surface. "It's her. Something's not right, and I can't ignore it anymore. I kissed her, and then I acted like it never happened. I gave her this weak apology that didn't even begin to cover it. Now she's distant, and I can't shake this feeling that it's all my fault."

Chris listened attentively, his brows furrowing with understanding. "You've been worried about this for a while, huh?"

Matt nodded, the weight of the situation pressing on him. "Yeah. I mean, remember we've had late-night talks about her having feelings for me?  And now, I can't help but wonder if I've been too blind to see it. Maybe I've hurt her more than I realized."

Chris put a comforting hand on his brother's shoulder. "Look, you can't change the past, but you can talk to her, try to understand how she feels. Maybe it's not as bad as you think."

A beat passed as Matt solemnly gazed at his brother.

"I think I'm in love with her, Chris. Nick was right. I am in love with her," Matt said, eyes heavy from lack of sleep.

With Matt's confession hanging heavily in the air, Chris finally broke his silence. He leaned forward, a half-smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. "Congrats Matt, you're the last one to know," he said. "We've known for a long time that you felt this way."

Matt sat up, eyes widened in surprise. "You have?"

Chris nodded. "Yeah, it was kind of obvious, the way you'd light up every time she walked into the room. Mom mentioned before that you guys are two peas in a pod. She said it was only a matter of time before you realized she had always been here."

Matt sighed, unsure of himself. "I have no idea what to do, Chris. I'm just so scared of messing everything up."

"Well, technically you already did, idiot," Chris grinned sheepishly. “Just tell her how you feel. What's the worst that could happen?"

January 19, 2023

Chris was being weird, big time. He kept asking if I have talked to you. We talk every day, don’t we? Does he not know that?

Anyway, Chris being Chris, I guess.

You wanted me to visit for Spring break again, but I don’t think I can, but I’ll see you when you fly for Nate’s birthday in June. I cannot wait.

You seemed different these days, Matt.

As days turned into weeks, Matt struggled with his emotions in silence. He couldn’t bear the thought of losing her and making things awkward between them. His ex-girlfriend didn't handle his confession well. She said had expected it and firmly told him not to contact her again.

This situation took a toll on Matt because he never intended for things to become so complicated. He was willing to do anything to prevent it.

Realizing he was in love with his best friend left a bittersweet feeling in his heart. He had been fooling himself all these time with him ignoring the intimate moments they shared and him being clueless as to why she reacted the way she did when she found out he had a girlfriend or when he kissed her.

He wanted nothing more than to fly to the East Coast just to see her, but he felt like it wasn't the right time, especially with college going on.

Matt appreciated the updates from her about school and life, but he can't help but feel things have changed in the air between them especially when she turned down the suggestion of her visiting again for the upcoming spring break. Matt understood and he knows that she too, was processing her own feelings just as he was.

Chris, talkative and ever supportive, insisted that she had always loved Matt too, with Nick joining in on the teasing, he couldn't help but feel hopeful. All of his loved ones reassuring him that things had always been this way. Two peas in a pod.

His Mom also called the other day after Nick had shared the details with her. “Oh, honey, we’ve always known,” her sweet voice comforting Matt. “Don’t worry about a thing; I’m certain she has loved you since the day she laid eyes on you.”

February 14, 2023

Dear Matt,

Samantha teased me today about not having a Valentine's date, but I told her I didn't need one. Anyway, seeing all the couples around campus makes me miss you even more and I know I might sound negative but it's a bit overwhelming.

I remember 2 valentines ago when you made me that pink cupcake with a heart on it. You were so excited to give it to me that you had a little argument with Nick in the car because he was taking too long to get ready, and you couldn't wait for me to see it. I also remember that rainy Valentine's Day when you stopped by my house just to give me the flowers you had bought earlier that day. The soft look on your face, the sly smile and damp hair was enough to make my knees weak. I also remember how Chris snickered from the passenger seat when you said the flowers reminded you of me. I miss you so much Matt. I wish you could have been here with me today, but you're in Palm Springs having a blast.

It's already February, Matt and I don't know how many more seasons I'll spend loving you.

February 14, 2019

"Hurry up, you idiot. Holy shit, I've been sitting here in the car for 20 minutes, and you're still not ready," Matt complained, clearly annoyed.

"Wow, Matt, what's gotten into you? Sorry, holy fuck," Nick responded, taken aback by his brother's sudden outburst.

Chris chimed in; his teasing tone evident as he laughed. "Calm down, Matt, I'm sure she'll understand if we're a little late."

"Shut up, Chris, it's not that. It's just the fact that Nick always does this," Matt retorted, starting the car.

"Is this what this is about? You being excited to give her your cupcake?" Nick teased, making a face at Chris and smirking.

"You're stupid, Nick." Matt grumbled, proceeding to drive down the familiar road to her house, a route he had taken many times before.

February 14, 2020

"Chris, come on, wake up!" Matt's voice boomed through his brother's room. It was 3 pm in the afternoon, and Nick had already been pestering them to go out. "I'm up, please get out of my face, Matt. I'll kill you," Chris grumbled sleepily.

With Chris in his usual grumpy state and Nick being overly excited, Matt found himself stopping by a nearby flower shop in Somerville. As he stood in front of the various types of flowers, his focused remained on a bouquet of tulips. He had heard from their mom the other day how exceptionally pretty tulips were.

Unbeknownst to Matt, Chris had slipped out of the car to join him. "You're getting flowers for her?" Chris asked, his tone laced with teasing.

"Yeah," Matt replied with a nonchalant shrug.

"Huh," Chris remarked, flashing a smile at the elderly woman behind the counter before turning his gaze back to his brother. "Why?"

"Because" Matt rolled his eyes, "why not?"

"Fair enough, geez, I'm just curious."

"Do you think she'll like tulips?"

Chris grinned and gave his brother an incredulous look, as if he found Matt's question amusingly strange. "She'll absolutely love them, Matt."

"Great," Matt said, clapping his hands together. "I'll get it," he cheerfully declared, already making his way toward the old woman.

With his usual teasing, Chris added, "Why don't you pick up some chocolates and write her a love letter too while you're at it?" He couldn't help but shake his head and chuckle.

"Shut up, Chris," Matt said dismissively.

As the rain began to pour, Chris watched his brother buy the flowers and wondered how unaware Matt can be with his own feelings.

March 2023

It was the week of Samantha's birthday, and she found herself contemplating on going. She didn't want to come across as a buzzkill for considering not attending, but the truth was, she often found immense joy in staying in on Friday nights. However, there were moments when she felt sad while lying in bed, especially upon hearing from Madi that all of them was heading to a party. Her thoughts would drift to Matt, wondering how he was doing or if he met someone. She tried to push the thoughts away still.

Matt would text her late at night updating her that he was already home, and she would read his messages in the morning. She hated how different their lives now were, with her being in college and him having the time of his life in California.

Sadness washed over her again when she remembered the kiss, they had shared last year. It saddened her to think that it might not have meant as much to Matt as it did to her, but it felt too late to bring it up now. He had apologized, and she had told him to forget about it.

With a change of heart, she confirmed to Samantha that she would indeed attend her birthday celebration. It was time to step out and have some fun, she thought. If Matt could do it, so could she.

The backyard of the Airbnb is transformed with colorful decorations and fairy lights are strung along the trees. The little bonfire in the center, surrounded by Samantha's friends chatting and laughing made her anxious, there is a lot more people than she thought.

She spotted Samantha and approached her cheerfully. "Samantha! Happy birthday!"

"Oh my gosh, you're here! I've been waiting for you. I'm so glad you made it."

"Me too," she replied, enveloping the curly-haired birthday girl in a warm embrace.

"Please, enjoy yourself tonight, alright? We have drinks and food in the kitchen, and I think Lorraine is around here somewhere," Samantha mentioned.

"Yeah, of course. You don't need to worry about me. I'll have a great time," she reassured her. "Go ahead and mingle."

"Alright, I'll catch up with you later, okay?" Samantha planted a peck on her cheek and continued welcoming other guests.

When she surveyed the crowd, she mentally reminded herself to grab a drink to avoid just standing there awkwardly. The party was in full swing, and despite her nagging desire to be in her cozy bed, she was determined to have a great time.

"Hey girl, how are you? I didn't see you come in. Have you seen Sam yet?" Lorraine greeted her with a warm hug, while Hannah waved.

"Hi, Lor, I'm good. And yeah, I just did. I just got here too so," she replied.

"That's great. You didn't get lost, did you?" Lorraine said with a playful grin.

She chuckled, “No."

Lorraine is Samantha's best friend from high school, she has long black hair, sharp eyes, and legs for days.

"Do you drink?" Lorraine asked, as Hannah busied herself mixing drinks at the counter.

"Uh, sometimes," she admitted, although deep down, she wasn't really fond of alcohol but tonight was different, though. She was feeling bold and what's a little alcohol after a rough week?

"We've got plenty here—tequila, beer, vodka, and all that jazz."

"I'll take a beer, please," she decided, opting for a more casual choice.

As the night wore, she took small sips of her drink and appreciated the light-hearted conversations with Lorraine and Hannah, which kept her from constantly checking her phone. Two hours ago, Matt sent her a text about whatever, but she ignored it. Truth is, she still feels a little hurt and awkward with him because of everything that has happened. Just for the night, she allowed herself to clear her mind of thoughts about the blue-eyed boy in California.

"I need to use the bathroom. I'll be right back," she informed the couple, receiving only nods in response.

Aware of the dangers of drink spiking, she was cautious and brought her beer with her.

The hallways were narrow, and she wondered how many people had made out in these halls. There were many rooms too and photo frames with inspiring quotes that adorned the walls. Her trip to the bathroom was going fine until she bumped into a guy.

“I'm so sorry," she apologized frantically, searching for the green tissue pack in her little bag while setting the glass of beer on a nearby table. Her white top was now stained with liquor, which was just great. The embarrassment of the situation was overwhelming, leaving her unable to think straight.

"No worries," The guy chuckled, clearly taken aback by the unexpected encounter. "I should've been more careful."

She handed him the tissues, her cheeks flushing with embarrassment. "That was so embarrassing. I'm truly sorry," she said with a sheepish smile.

"Don't worry about it. It’ll dry," he replied with a reassuring smile.

“"I'm really sorry," she winced as she saw him examining his now alcohol-soaked shirt.

"It's okay," he smiled softly, causing her cheeks to turn pink. When he noticed her freezing in embarrassment, he spoke up again, "Hey, apology accepted. Please don't worry about it. I can just wipe this off, and I'll be fine."

She nodded and whispered, "I'm so embarrassed."

"Really, I'm over it now. Besides, it's my fault for not looking. You got drenched too," he chuckled, glancing at her blouse.

"Yeah, don't worry about me. It's not as bad as yours. Can I at least help you with that?" she offered.

"What? Help me wipe this beer off? Nah, I'm good. You go do your thing," he dismissed her with another friendly smile.

Feeling somewhat defeated, she simply nodded and said, "Alright."

In the bathroom, she found herself shaking her head in embarrassment while trying to wash off the small beer stain on her top. The night is not going well, and she was starting to regret not staying home. Why did embarrassing situations always seem to find her at parties?

After a few minutes of recovery and self-reflection, she returned to where Lorraine and Hannah were. But before she could reach the couple, she spotted the guy she had bumped into earlier. Hannah was chatting with him and giggling, while Lorraine wore an amused expression that made her feel even more self-conscious. Great, he knew them and had definitely shared the incident with them.

Hannah noticed her approaching and said, "Oh, I see you've already met our friend, Luke!"

The mischievous glint in Hannah's eyes confirmed that he had indeed told what had happened.

"Yeah," she replied shyly, smiling. "I think he has already told you how we met."

Luke laughed while Lorraine snickered. "Don't worry, he's not upset with you. In fact, he thinks you're cute, right Luke?"

"Oh..."

"Ignore Lorraine. Nice to meet you," he said, flashing her a warm smile and offered his hand. She couldn't help but notice the dimples in his cheeks or how perfectly curled his hair was.

"You too," she replied with a smile, shaking his hand, feeling her embarrassment vanish little by little.

Matthew Sturniolo was confused once again for the millionth time in his life, and his brothers found it funny.

Just five minutes ago, Nick mentioned she was at a party. Matt's head shot up upon hearing what his brother said.

"So, that's why she wasn't replying," Matt said, fingers fast on opening Instagram. "She didn't mention about going to a party."

With furrowed brows, he watched her story, where a girl with jet black hair was seen pouring a drink into a red up. The background confirming that she was indeed at a crowded party.

"She doesn't have to share everything with you, you know?" Nick rolled his eyes, as if Matt should already know this.

Chris chuckled, rising from his slouched position on the couch. "Yeah, you guys aren't dating, so why should she keep you in the loop about everything?"

Chris was teasing him, and he was aware of it. Nick gave Chris a look that said, 'who does he think he is?'

But Matt didn't care. It bothered him that she didn't even tell him knowing how much she disliked parties. He reopened their text conversation and stared at his unanswered message.

He sent another text:

Hey, just checking in. Saw your Instagram story. Hope everything's ok 😊

Turning to his brothers, who were now grinning, Matt asked, somewhat annoyed, "What?"

"Come on, Matt, lighten up. She can take care of herself," Chris teased again.

"She's a grown woman, Matt," Nick shrugged.

"Fine, I don't care," Matt grumbled, shifting his attention to the TV in front of him.

"Except you do, lover boy," Nick replied, and Chris laughed.

Matt stayed quiet, ignoring his brothers' teasing. He didn't need to know every detail of her life, and Chris was right. She could manage on her own but tonight he just felt uneasy. Was she ignoring him on purpose? Is he losing her?

He did his best to shake the thoughts as he stared at his empty notifications bar, hoping it wouldn't bother him as the night wore.

“Trouble in paradise?” Luke asked curiously, a playful smile gracing his beautiful face as he observed her reaction to a text message she had received, which seemed to elicit an anxious sigh from her, if Luke were to point it out.

She nervously chuckled and replied, "No, it's just my best friend asking how I'm doing," explaining helplessly. Luke nodded, choosing not to press any further.

They were now outside, surrounded by the soft chatter and faint music coming from the house. Lorraine and Hannah had left them 15 minutes ago to mingle with the other guests.

"So, is Sam a good roommate?" Grateful that he was attempting to initiate conversation and maintain a lighthearted atmosphere, considering what happened earlier. Lorraine had already explained that they had all been friends since high school and that Samantha was her roommate.

She chuckled and replied, "Yes, she is, thankfully. Although she tends to dance when she's drunk."

Luke laughed and shook his head, agreeing, "I heard she could be a handful when drunk," recalling a conversation he had with his own friends years ago.

"What do you study, again?" She asked, changing the subject. Realizing she couldn't quite remember what he had mentioned earlier, as she had been preoccupied with trying to forget the awkward bathroom encounter.

"Oh, I study business at SDSU, same school as Lorraine," he replied. “You’re studying computer science, right?”

She nodded, unwilling to discuss her major further. "How's Boston treating you? Do you enjoy it here so far?"

"Well, I've only been here for three days, and I've still got two more to go, but yeah, I like it. Just not used to the weather, that's all," Luke replied, looking down at her.

"Oh, yeah, I completely agree. Boston's weather is moody, unlike California's. It's very different," she said.

"I don't mind," Luke shrugged. "It's my first time here, after all."

"Really?" She turned to face him fully.

"Yeah, don't tell anyone, but I've never actually been to any state other than where I live," he chuckled, taking a sip of his own drink.

"Well, I think you deserve a proper tour from a native!" She looked up at him, smiling.

"You think so?" Luke grinned at her knowingly, his eyes twinkling with playfulness.

"Yeah, I mean, I've got nothing to do. I'm finished with most of my projects."

She couldn't pinpoint the source of her newfound confidence, whether it was the influence of alcohol or perhaps Luke’s casual smiles and affectionate glances throughout the evening.

He laughed, obviously amused by her eagerness, and she couldn't help but notice how nice his teeth were and how his curls looked.

"What's so funny?" She raised her eyebrows at him, a faint smile on her lips.

Still smiling, Luke replied, "Nothing, you're really cute."

She went silent, a blush forming on her cheeks. She was about to speak when he continued, "But yeah, a tour would be nice. Maybe we could get some lobsters?"

She snickered, the alcohol giving her confidence once again. "Are you asking me out on a date?"

"If you want it to be," he shrugged coolly, his eyes never leaving hers.

"Well, it's not a date. I'm just a new friend touring my new friend in the city," she declared.

He chuckled once again, his voice ringing in her ears. "Okay then, it's not a date."

She didn't even realize how engrossed they were in each other until Samantha approached them with a wide smile. "I see you two have already met," Samantha said, her eyes holding a hint of mischief.

"Sam!" She turned her attention away from Luke, her surprise evident. "Hi. Yeah, it's kind of a long story," she said, offering a sheepish smile.

Luke chuckled. "Your roommate here seems eager to show me around the city."

"Is that so?" Samantha looked between them, clearly amused.

The atmosphere remained light-hearted. Samantha’s playful smirk hinted at her enjoyment of the situation.

“Well, if she’s offering to be your tour guide, you’re in for a treat,” Samantha said, looking at Luke with a playful glint in her eye. “She knows all the best spots in Boston.”

Luke nodded with enthusiasm. “I have no doubt about that. I’m excited.”

Samantha winked at them both. “You’re in good hands.”

She understood that Samantha was insinuating something else. She wasn't stupid and she very was certain that tomorrow, the birthday girl would pester her about this encounter with Luke.

Samantha and Lorraine gave them knowing looks after Luke offered to walk her home and after a moment’s hesitation, she agreed. It was just a 10-minute walk to campus, after all.  She didn’t want to be rude, but she also didn't want to walk home all alone at night.

She couldn’t help but remember Matt. Her Matt. The Matt she had been ignoring for hours now.

It had been an eternity since someone had taken the time to do this for her. She remembered from their high school days, how Matt used to walk her to her door, the way their hands would touch a little while walking, and her secret hope that he would kiss her goodbye. Of course, Matt never did.

“It’s been so long,” she whispered, her heart aching, unintentionally saying it out loud. Luke stopped mid-sentence.

“What?” He asked, confused.

She shook her head, caught off guard by her unexpected outpouring of emotion. “Oh, I’m sorry. I got a bit lost in thought. Please continue, what were you saying?”

“You did seem a little distracted all night. Is this still about the drink you spilled?”

“No, something else,” she replied, stealing another glance at her phone. Matt’s unanswered goodnight message, sent 20 minutes ago, weighed on her. “Just a lot happening in my life,” she chuckled, attempting to make it sound light for Luke’s benefit.

“Like school?” Luke asked again, his gaze steady.

“Yeah, something like that,” she answered, slipping her phone into her jeans pocket, concealing her suppressed longing.

Matt rose from his bed, finding no solace for his troubled heart in its confines. He headed downstairs to see if Chris was still awake.

"Hey, you up?" Matt opened the door to find his brother engrossed in his phone.

Chris looked up and said, "Oh, hey. Yeah."

Matt let out a long sigh and flopped down on Chris's bed.

"Uh-oh," Chris turned off his phone and turned his full attention to Matt. "She still hasn't replied to your texts?"

"Nope," Matt grumbled. "I want to call her."

"Matt," Chris frowned, "Don't. I'm sure she's fine."

"This is just not like her," Matt added, feeling stupid.

"I thought you didn't care?" Chris teased.

"Of course, I care," Matt sighed, rolling his eyes.

"Damn, you’re really down bad.”

"Chris, what's keeping her so busy at this party? Tell me, have you ever been so engrossed at a party that you forget to check your phone all night?" Matt asked, sitting up as he tried to calm his racing mind and heart.

"Uh," Chris tried to think, but honestly, he wanted to say no. There was no plausible reason she would be so absorbed unless she was actively ignoring Matt.

"You see?" Matt widened his eyes, attempting to convince his brother. "What if something happened to her?"

Chris intervened, "Whoa, we're jumping to conclusions here. Look, Matt, I'll call her."

Matt watched hopefully as the seconds passed by.

Five rings, and then her voice came through the speakers. "Chris?" Her voice sweet as a honey to Matt's ears. She must have made it home because he couldn't hear any background noise.

How could she answer Chris and not even reply to his texts?

"Hey, look, I'm sorry. Did I wake you? Matt here has been worried sick about you. You're not replying to his texts—"

Matt snatched the phone from Chris's hand. "I'm sorry. Chris is an idiot. I'm not worried, trust me."

There was a brief silence, and Chris facepalmed, whispering, "What are you saying, Matt?"

When she didn't reply, Matt continued, "I mean, I am worried. Just checking in, you know?"

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Sorry, no, yeah, I'm good. I just got caught up with friends, that's why I didn't get the chance to reply." A lie.

Matt paced slowly in Chris's room, trying to imagine her face. Chris gave him a look that said, 'What are you doing? Get it together.'

"I was a little concerned," Matt admitted chuckling, downplaying his worries.

"I'm fine, Matt. I just got home 20 minutes ago," she replied, her voice a whisper. She must be smiling, Matt thought, though he couldn't see her.

"Thanks for checking in, and sorry for not answering your texts," she added.

"That's... that's okay. I'm glad you're home and safe."

"Me too. This guy was kind enough to walk me home. I mean Samantha's friend from the party, Luke."

Matt and Chris exchanged surprised glances. "Luke?"

"Yeah, he was really nice. Offered to walk me. Also, I didn't tell you, but I spilled beer on him, which was embarrassing, but he was sweet about it, so we're good."

Chris snickered, and Matt shot him a hard stare, his stomach sinking by the minute. Who the hell is Luke?

"You can't be serious," Matt chuckled, trying to conceal his concern. “What?”

"No, I'm dead serious. We talked all night, and then, yeah, that's it. I offered to show him around Boston tomorrow, just to make up for what happened, I guess." She continued her story, seemingly unaware of how it was affecting Matt.

Matt couldn't hide his unease. "You just met him like 3 hours ago, and now you're spending the day with him? Who is this guy?"

"No, he's really nice, I swear. Plus, he's Samantha's friend, so..." She was quick to defend.

"I'm just saying, you don't know this guy well enough to spend your whole day with him," Matt said, growing more upset by the minute.

"Well, how am I supposed to know him if we're not going to hang out?"

Chris chuckled, shaking his head, while Matt tried to keep his feelings in check.

"Up to you. I'm just looking out for you, you know that. Again, just saying. Be careful," Matt replied, struggling to hide his true emotions.

"Yes, Dad," she teased, rolling her eyes, though she was likely fighting off a smile.

"I'm serious. I'm just looking out," Matt insisted.

"I appreciate that, Matt. Don't worry, I'll update you guys tomorrow. Also, do you still remember the address of that pasta place we visited a year ago where Chris fell in love with the chicken alfredo?"

"I'll ask him," Matt's voice sounded small. He felt like he was losing her by the second. Who was this guy? Were they going on a date? He can already feel a headache coming and a lump forming in his throat.

"I'll text you the address," Chris shouted from across the room.

"Alright, I think I'm going to bed. I'm really tired," she said, still painfully unaware of Matt's feelings.

"Okay, then. Go to sleep. Text me tomorrow," Matt pleaded, his voice carrying a sense of desperation. "Please."

"I will, Matt. Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Chris."

"Goodnight!" Chris cheerfully replied, clearly enjoying the situation way more than Matt was.

Deep inside, she felt a bit guilty for distancing herself from Matt, ignoring his texts, and even considering dating other guys, possibly including Luke in the future.

However, she loved Matt for a long time, but he never felt the same way. Some days it felt like he did, especially that time he had kissed her, but it was never enough. She believed that if he had ever felt the same way about her, she would have been aware of it by now.

She was becoming tired of constantly holding onto false hope, longing for a love that would never happen and yearning for a touch that seemed always just out of reach. She desired to be consumed by his fire, even if it meant getting burned.

She craved the warmth of his affection, the reassurance of his reciprocation, and the simple comfort of knowing that her love was not in vain.

Truth to be told, she knew that Matt deserved to know the depth of her feelings, even if it meant facing the harsh reality that he might not feel the same way. Love, after all, deserved to be known. On the other hand, she feared the potential fallout – the awkwardness, the possibility of rejection, and the damage it could do to their friendship.

She couldn't escape the fact that she had held this love within her for so long, it had become a part of her very being. It was like an unspoken truth that lingered in the air whenever they were together.

"Love has a right to be spoken. And you have the right to know that somebody loves you." - Ursula K. Le Guin, A Fisherman of the Inland Sea

From the moment she pushed open the imposing wooden doors of the campus, she spotted Luke, leaning against a tree. The sunlight played upon his brown hair, making it appear lighter, and his eyes took on a golden hue.

It was undeniable, Luke was handsome. Every time she looked at him, it felt like a breath of fresh air on a crisp morning. Maybe it was something about the way his eyes locked onto her when she told stories, or how effortlessly he could reply with clever comebacks that always seemed perfectly timed. It was the way he carried himself that caused her poor heart to race a little.

When he caught sight of her, his face lit up. "Hey you," he grinned, his hands tucked into his pockets.

She returned his warm smile. "Hey yourself," she replied playfully, her eyes sparkling with excitement. “You ready?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” he said, extending his arm, inviting her to link hers with his.

She shot him a look that said, ‘I’m not doing that,’ but she rolled her eyes, still smiling and continued walking.

Luke caught up with her, shaking his head with amusement.

Walking side by side, Luke kept his hands in his pockets, while she tucked hers inside her jacket to shield herself from the chilly air. She couldn’t wait for March to be over.

The curly-haired boy was surprised when he noticed a list of places on her notes app. Luke found it incredibly cute that she had taken the time to jot it all down for him.

“Oh my god, I can’t believe you’ve listed everything,” he chuckled, glancing at her phone to catch a glimpse of their planned destinations. “You’re really committed to this, aren’t you?”

Despite his best efforts to meet her eyes, she remained engrossed in her phone, her gaze fixed on the screen. “Of course. I did say I’ll show you the city, remember?”

Luke’s curiosity was piqued, and his eyebrows raised. A small smile played on his lips. “Do you always do this?”

She couldn’t help but laugh at his question. It was quite out of character for her to agree to tour someone around the city, especially when they had only met the night before. But Luke had proven to be a pleasant distraction from the strange texts she had been receiving from Matt lately plus he was really cute.

“To be honest,” she began, looking up from her phone to turn to Luke, “no. I just felt like doing something different today.” Her gaze softened as she spoke, and for a moment, her thoughts drifted to what Matt had texted her earlier that morning.

‘You do know that’s a date, right?’

Her response was that it wasn’t, explaining that she was simply acting as a good friend, and this left her message without a reply.

As the day went on, she found herself more and more drawn to Luke. If she were to describe the distraction from her unrequited love, who was miles away from the East Coast, it would undoubtedly be a flirty man with curly brown hair, coffee-colored eyes, and a smile that could light up any room he walked into.

With a playful tone, she leaned in and asked, “So, what’s one more thing on your Boston bucket list, aside from the lobsters?”

They sat together at a cozy coffee shop near the school, where a handful of students were studying. The shop’s walls were adorned with rustic brown bricks, and colorful flowers added a touch of charm. As the sun began its descent, the interior was bathed in a golden hue, creating a warm and inviting atmosphere.

Samantha had just texted her asking how the date with Luke in which she replied again that it was not.

Luke paused for a moment, considering the question. “Well, I’ve heard Fenway Park is pretty iconic.”

She agreed, reaching for her cup yet again. “That’s a fantastic choice! You’ll get to experience the true Boston sports culture.”

Luke grinned, appreciating her enthusiasm for everything he says. “And what about you? Any more must-see places you’d recommend?”

She thought for a moment, remembering the restaurant Chris loved, but chose not to mention it, as if she were safeguarding a secret that the world couldn’t know, the restaurant symbolizing memories that were now part of the past. Instead, she decided to keep their conversation in the present, allowing it to flow naturally.

She smiled shyly, a glint in her eyes, as she playfully remarked, “If I didn’t know any better, I think you’re just finding reasons to see me again.”

Luke's grin widened, his charm shining even brighter. "Ah, you've caught me," he admitted, "guilty as charged but who could resist an opportunity to explore Boston with such beautiful company?"

Her shy smile only added to the allure of the moment, and he couldn't help but appreciate the twinkle in her eyes. "Well," he continued, his tone dipping into a more flirtatious register, "if this is me saying I’d like to see you again, then what do you say? Perhaps you could be my personal tour guide for a while longer?"

She couldn't help but blush at him. "If that's your way of saying you'd like to see me again, then I say you're in luck,” she teased.  “I wouldn't mind being your tour guide for a while longer."

Luke laughed, his face lighting up at her response, and he couldn't help but shake his head amusingly. "That's fantastic news! I supposed I'll have to come up with even more reasons to see you then."

Her smile remained coy, eyes locking onto his. "I look forward to it."

“But on a Saturday, in a café, she watched it begin again.”

(ifykyk haha)

May 2023

Nick Sturniolo couldn't tolerate it any longer; once again, his brother was wallowing in his room, shrouded in darkness with the covers pulled over his head. It seemed like Matt's sole agenda was eating and sleeping these days.

"That's enough," Nick's voice reverberated through Matt's room, with Chris trailing behind him. "This has to stop. Seriously, you need to get out."

Matt grumbled, squeezing his eyes shut. "No, Nick."

"Dude, come on." While Chris empathized with his brother's emotions, he knew that spending five days holed up in bed was far from ideal. "Have you even talked to her?"

"No," came the quiet, dismissive reply.

Exchanging concerned glances, Chris and Nick understood that Matt was avoiding them once again. Unmoved, Nick reached out and yanked the covers away, leaving Matt exposed from his warm cocoon.

"Nooo, Nick," Matt whined, rising from his bed, and walking past them into the bathroom. "Can you two just leave me alone?"

"Matt, please, this needs to stop," Nick pleaded, following him. However, Matt shut the bathroom door before Nick could utter another word.

Chris shook his head, deeply concerned. "This is getting out of hand."

"I'll call her," Nick declared, determined to mend his brother's broken heart as he headed toward the couch to grab his phone.

Chris halted him in his tracks. "Don't, Nick."

"Why not? This is ridiculous. She needs to know what's happening to Matt, you know?"

While Nick loved her just as much and empathized with her feelings for her brother, witnessing her heart break over the same guy repeatedly over the past few years, he also loved Matt and understood his reasons and he would go to great lengths to ensure he never saw his brother like this again.

"Don't do it, Nick," Chris warned again.

"Why not?" Nick persisted, challenging Chris, his frustration mounting.

"Because what are you going to tell her? That Matt's been depressed as shit because she went on multiple dates with this guy, and it all went well?"

Matt, listening from the other side of the door, emerged and interceded between them. "No one's going to tell anyone anything, okay? I'll be fine. I just want to be left alone."

"You have to tell her, Matt," Nick said, speaking more softly this time.

Chris gazed at the side of Matt's face, his heart aching at the sight of his brother in such despair. "Before it's too late," Chris added.

It pained Chris to see his brother like this, but he couldn't help but consider that maybe Matt had missed his chance with her months ago when he failed to understand why she was so upset about him having a girlfriend. Chris also couldn't deny that she had pined for Matt for years, and it had taken a long time for his brother to realize his true feelings and he also knew that even time would not wait for Matt.

In the weeks that followed, their household was like wrapped in an atmosphere of melancholy. Matt's isolation continued, and it seemed like there was a cloud of sadness hanging over them, especially when she announced that she plans to make it official with Luke.

Each day that passed without Matt addressing his feelings felt like a missed opportunity, and Nick couldn't help but wonder how much time they had left before those feelings became irrevocably entangled with regret.

He knew Matt's heartache was genuine and real. It wasn't just about a date gone well; it was about missed chances, miscommunication, and the unraveling of a connection that had been there all along. Nick also couldn't shake the nagging feeling that time was slipping through their fingers like grains of sand. It was an unspoken truth, a silent echo in the house, that they were running out of chances to mend the rift between Matt and her.

Meanwhile, Chris wrestled with his own conflicted emotions. He remembered that moment when Matt had failed to understand the depths of her pain when he had kissed her and pretended it didn't happen, his brother's lack of action when she needed him the most. It had been a missed opportunity, an oversight.

March 29, 2023

Dear Matt,

Spring’s break over. Been over for a few days. Everything is back to normal, and the air is getting warmer, which makes me a little happy. Mac Demarco’s song came on shuffle earlier on my way to class and it reminded me of when we were listening to it during the car ride back home. Remember the mint ice cream I let you try, and you hated it? Yep, that was the day.

I’ve already told you about Luke. He’s okay. He’s nice. I think I like him. I mean, what’s not to like? He flew back to San Diego, but we've been talking non-stop through FaceTime and texts. I think he might like me too, though I don't want to assume anything. You did say to get to know him better before rushing into anything.

I feel like things are changing, Matt. I don’t know if it’s a good thing or a bad thing. I miss you so much. I wish you weren’t so far away.

April 7, 2023

Hi Matthew,

I’m just struggling with my feelings right now. Luke admitted last night after nonstop calls and texts, that he likes me more than a friend and he wants to take things further but slow.

I was frozen for a few seconds. I like him but I don’t know. I guess I’ll see where it goes.

I texted you about it, but you didn’t reply, Chris said you were out with Nick and Madi. I’ll tell you all about it later. I wish you knew, Matt. I wish you knew.  That it has always been you.

It was the second week of June of 2023 when Matt Sturniolo landed in Boston, Massachusetts. After being gone for months, he was immensely grateful he was back home. The weather was warm which made everything feel just right. Things had improved significantly with him compared to the previous month, following a heartfelt conversation with Nick and Chris. They all agreed that confessing his feelings while she was entering a promising relationship wouldn't be fair, and his brothers supported this decision.

The way she would light up when talking about Luke during their video calls was enough for Matt to accept the situation as it was. He also realized that the opportunity had already passed him. She had already met someone else, and he believed, or at least liked to believe, that this person makes her happy and that was more than enough for him.

This newfound understanding brought a sense of peace to his heart, but he couldn't deny, not even to himself, that he was truly heartbroken. Despite the acceptance, there were moments when the weight of the unspoken emotions, the timing, and the distance bore down on him.

Remembering their intimate moments together leave him with a lingering ache in his heart. Matt had been in love with her long before he could put a name to his emotions, but by the time he understood his own feelings, it was already too late.

"Yo, Nate just texted me," Chris said while munching on chips and leaning against the kitchen counter. "He said shit’s ready."

"Wait, I need to take a shower first, and then we can head out," Nick shouted from the other room.

Matt appeared from the laundry area, a sock on one hand, and asked Chris about his outfit, "Do you think this looks good?"

"Yeah, that's alright. I really like that shirt," Chris replied.

Matt smiled and said, "Me too."

Impatient, Chris sighed and yelled, "Can you hurry up, Nick? Alahna just texted me, she said they already pulled up to Nate’s house."

Nick shouted back, his words somewhat unclear, "Yeah, I'll be quick."

Silence enveloped them again. After a moment, Chris whispered, "Are you sure you'll be okay there, Matt?"

"I'll be fine, Chris. It's Nate's birthday," Matt responded, still engrossed in his phone.

Chris sent him a half smile. “You know she’s never going to replace you right? Your friendship with her is already special in its own right.”

Matt looked up, his expression softening but still uncertain. He nodded, agreeing with his brother's words, though not entirely convinced.

"Alright, I'm ready to roll," Nick announced after 20 minutes, already heading for the door.

Chris could sense Matt's tension and placed a reassuring hand on his brother's shoulder. "Hey, Matt," he began, his tone gentle. "It's gonna be okay."

Matt leaned on him, nodding. "Thanks, Chris."

With a nod, Chris turned to Nick who's already impatiently waiting by the car. "Let's get going then. Nathan's waiting."

Hands on the wheel, Matt did his best to focus on the familiar road ahead of them. Nick sang along to the radio in the backseat, while Chris stared out of the window. Deep down, Matt wanted to turn around and retreat to the safety of his bedroom, but he hid his anxieties by remaining silent.

As Matt parked the car and they approached Nate's house, he couldn't shake the nervousness that had been building inside him. Chris and Nick walked ahead towards the sliding door in the backyard, where they greeted Nate's family.

For Matt, however, it was as if time had slowed down. As he scanned the gathering, he saw familiar faces - people he had known since middle school, some high school, and some he forgot the names of. Life appeared to have moved on for them, unaware of the feelings he was facing with.

With his hands in his pockets, he looked timid and shy. But then, as if the universe conspired to grant him a moment of relief, he saw her. It had been seven months. Seven long months since he had seen and kissed her, and it felt like finally witnessing the sun after a cold winter night.

Nick was approaching her first, and she welcomed his brother with a big smile on her face. Matt couldn't help but notice the subtle changes in her appearance - her hair now cascaded just below her collarbone, framing her face beautifully. Her smile, however, remained as radiant as ever, perhaps even more so. The way she held onto Nick, the carefree way her hair danced in the breeze, the sunlight gently touching her face made her seem almost unreal. The summer air had given her a healthy flush on her cheeks, making them pinker than he remembered. Her laughter like music to his ears.

After what felt like an eternity of hugging and catching up with his brothers, she began searching for him in the crowd. Her eyes eventually found him, standing there in all his handsome glory. With knowing smiles exchanged between Chris and Nick, his brothers left them alone. Matt approached her slowly, his hands still tucked in his pockets. "Hi," he greeted her with a shy smile.

She looked up at him, biting her lip, her voice now softer compared to when she had greeted his brothers. "Hi."

Subtly and unwittingly, her body leaned towards his, just like old times, and reached out to embrace him. Matt couldn't help but notice the familiar scent of her hair, the same fragrance that used to linger on his pillow for days after she had slept over.

As always, good things must come to an end, and she reluctantly pulled away, her eyes sparkling with happiness as she looked up at him. They were so close that they could feel each other's breath.

"Missed you," Matt blurted out, unable to contain his feelings. He had truly missed her more than she'll ever know.

"I missed you too, Matthew. How are things?" Her affection for him was evident in her words. Matt, who had been the love of her life for years, was now back home.

"Things are good," he replied, his voice carrying a mixture of emotions. "I'm so glad to be back home."

"Finally," she murmured softly, the word laden with longing and spoken with an intimacy meant only for his ears. Her gaze remained locked onto his, they were so absorbed into each other that they didn't notice that their friends were watching them, both oblivious to the hushed whispers in the background.

"Yeah, finally," Matt whispered, eyes steady with hers.

Observing this interaction, Nate nudged Chris gently, nodding towards them. His eyes wide.

"Oh no, Matt," Chris whispered, seeing Luke, who stood a few feet away and had seen everything. Her and Matt are standing really close, almost as if they were about to kiss. "Don't do it, Matt." Fearing his brother would do something stupid, again.

A faint clearing of the throat from behind them interrupted their moment.

"Luke," she whispered, surprised and wide-eyed. Luke responded with a polite smile, concealing his uneasiness.

Watching from a distance, Chris's heart continued to race.

Feeling embarrassed, Matt wished he could disappear. He had let his emotions get the best of him and now found himself in an awkward situation. Sensing her pull away, Matt watched as she moved closer to Luke's side, putting some distance between them.

"Luke, this is Matt," she introduced them, her voice slightly small. She gestured towards both of them. "Matt, meet Luke, my boyfriend." Matt hid his true feelings behind a polite greeting and shook Luke's extended hand but from a distance, Chris and Nate could see the sadness in his eyes as he glanced back and forth between the new couple.

"Nice to meet you, Matt. I've heard a lot about you and your brothers." Matt couldn't help but find irony in the situation, as he remembered the night in Los Angeles when he had introduced his ex to her, and his ex had offered similar words of welcome.

Matt smiled and nodded, his gaze lingering on the way Luke held her waist.

Luke started a friendly conversation, trying to ease the obvious tension in the air. "So, when did you guys get back from L.A.?"

"We got back just two days ago," Matt replied casually, shifting his gaze to Chris and Nate a few feet away from them, who was now stopped dead in their tracks, watching their interaction unfold. "What about you? I heard you're from California, right?"

Luke, keeping things relaxed, replied, "Yes, San Diego. I've been here for a week. Planning to stay for the rest of the summer."

"Oh," Matt struggled to find the right words. Spending a whole summer, indicating a serious step into their relationship.

"That's cool. Boston has nice beaches, although they might not compare to the ones on the West Coast." 

Her gaze remained locked on his, searching for a reaction. Nathan, Matt's best friend since they were 13 has always known the right words to say. He swooped in just in time to save Matt from a potentially explosive situation. 

"Hey, you guys, do you mind if I borrow Matt here for sec?” Nate asked casually, offering them his playful smile. "We need help with the ice and stuff." He said cooly, earning a knowing glance from Matt.

This was Luke's first time meeting Matt, and he couldn't help but wonder if there was more to the history between her and her best friend. After witnessing their intense interaction moments ago, he wondered if it has always been like this.  As Nate led Matt away, a moment of silence settled between Luke and her. She could sense the curiosity in Luke's eyes. Finally, he broke the silence with a gentle tone, "You guys seem very close. Is there more than what I know?"

She took a deep breath, her fingers fidgeting with the fabric of her skirt. "We've been friends for a long time, you know that." she replied, her voice a mixture of apprehension and vulnerability.

"I just never expected you two were that close," Luke chuckled lightly, making an effort to lighten the mood.

When she didn't reply, Luke gently continued, "Hey," speaking in a softer tone this time, he turned his entire body to face her, ensuring she could look into his eyes. "I'm not worried about anything. If you say you guys have been nothing more than friends all this time, then I believe you."

She smiled, feeling grateful that Luke had gracefully dropped the topic. But there was no lie in that statement; they were just friends. Matt had never reciprocated her feelings, and it had always been that way. She should be happy that she has a love like Luke's. A love unwavering, ever-present affection that wraps her in a sense of security and even though this love was just starting, it's here. It wants to spend the whole summer with her. It kisses and hugs her at night. A love that loves her back.

Chris followed Nate and Matt into the house and found them already engaged in a conversation. "Dude," he began. With Nate, deeply looking into Matt's eyes Chris knew he was helping calm his brother down. “What was that?”

Matt snapped, growing irritated with Chris, feeling the situation become more increasingly awkward and cringeworthy. "Just be quiet for a second, Chris."

“You need to keep your feelings in check before it gets complicated,” Chris informed, arms up in defense.

Matt sighed, realizing the truth in his brother's words. "Was it really that bad?"

"Bro," Nate gave him a sideways glance.

"Matt, with how close you two are, you might as well just kiss her," Chris whispered loudly, scanning the room for any guests who might have overheard them.

"It was like you guys were the only ones in the room," Nate chimed in, to which Chris nodded in agreement.

Matt hung his head in shame, anxiously sighing once more and burying his face in his hands. "I can't handle this."

"Yes, you can," Nate reassured him, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. "You're here for my birthday, nothing else and you're gonna go out there and we're gonna have fun. Look, look, Karl's already setting up the barbeque."

Matt can only nod. Tonight was all about Nathan, and no boyfriend was going to ruin it for them.

Truth was, Nate was hesitant when she asked the question of whether she could invite Luke as her plus one. Deep down, he understood that she was slowly unveiling to the world the fact that this charming, curly-haired brunette with captivating brown eyes is going to be in their lives whether they like it or not. Nate was also aware of the feelings Matt is dealing with, feelings he suspected had been simmering beneath the surface ever since he witnessed them sharing a slice of pizza in his very own backyard three years ago. He feared that Matt wouldn't take this well, and the feelings of regret over missed opportunities might shadow him as he watched her with Luke. Yet, despite these, Nate couldn't bring himself to say no. He firmly believed that she deserved to show her love, just like anyone else and to Nate, this love was something his best friend would ultimately need to come to terms with.

The night proved to be a blur for her, with Matt's presence lingering nearby like a shadow. Just the knowledge that he was only a few feet away made her stomach churn. It hadn't always been like this; typically, she had a firm grip on her emotions and could maintain her composure, but the situation earlier, with the three of them – herself, Matt, and Luke – had left her wanting to go home and avoid talking to anyone ever again.

It had been a slip, a slip that should never have happened. The way she had clung to him, waiting for any sign, anything that might reveal his disapproval of her relationship with Luke. But when he walked through the door with Chris and Nate trailing behind him, she realized she had been fooling herself once again.

Matt had calmed himself down, thanks to Nate and Chris. With Nick giving him raised eyebrows as if to say, 'What the hell just happened? We'll talk about this later.' he shifted his focus to the food that was being handed around, attempting to divert his thoughts.

The night progressed smoothly, and the final blow came when Matt sat across from her in the group circle. Chloe, who had joined them, shot knowing looks her way as she sat beside Matt. "So, what are your plans for the summer?" their friend asked.

Various answers were heard from the group. "What about you and Luke?"

"We're going on Europe with Luke's friends from New York," she blurted out, her eyes finding their way back to her hands, avoiding Matt's piercing eyes.

She could hear the excitement and wows reverberated around the circle.

Luke chimed in, adding, "Yeah, it's going to be fun. I’m excited."

The conversation continued, with the group asking about when they will leave, and some were sharing recommendations for must-visit spots in Greece. She tuned them out, feeling smaller with each passing moment.

A European adventure was Matt and Her’s secret dream, a dream they had shared only in the quiet of the night, under the covers, with Nick sleeping on the couch nearby. It symbolized another significant step in their relationship, something that Matt couldn't help but notice.

Matt felt his heart break a little more with each passing moment, like a series of painful stabs. Of course, he didn’t forget the plans to elope in Europe and here she was fulfilling those dreams with another man.

When their eyes met, he masked his pain with a faint, forced smile.

Finally, the night ended with Chris giving her and Luke a friendly hug. With Matt already in the car avoiding the couple and Nick in the back saying his own goodbyes to Alahna and Nate.

Matt went straight to his room, shutting the door firmly behind him. Chris stopped Nick in pestering Matt and asking him about what happened at the party, he insisted that they give their brother space to work on his feelings.

~

"You're awfully quiet," Luke nudged her gently. They sat in the living room, surrounded by her sister and cousins, watching cartoons as the warm Boston summer air flowed in through the open windows of the house.

"Just lost in thought," she sighed.

"What's on your mind?" Luke asked, rubbing her hand while his gaze remained fixed on her face.

"Nothing much, just a bit nervous about meeting your New York friends," she chuckled, trying to keep her tone casual.

"They're not that bad," he reassured her, his fingers now absentmindedly playing with hers. "They'll love you. Who wouldn't love you?"

One person, she thought, but she managed to smile at Luke, appreciating his warmth. It had been a week since Nate's birthday, and Matt hadn't reached out. Part of her was secretly relieved; she wouldn't know what to say to him anyway. She knew Matt tended to withdraw when things got awkward.

This had been her problem since they were young. Matt always looks at her like he could love her, and she fell for it every time, only to have her heart broken again.

She knew she was lying to Luke about her old feelings for Matt, but she was determined to bury those emotions and start fresh with Luke.

"What if they don't like me?"

"They have no choice but to like you; they're going to spend two months with you in Europe," Luke chuckled before giving her a sweet kiss.

"I guess," she replied.

Silence settled between them once more. "Is everything ready for you? We leave really early tomorrow," Luke asked, mentally checking if he had brought everything he needed in his head.

"Yup, all packed and ready. Actually, I think I'm going to visit Nick and the boys later, you know to say my goodbyes," she shrugged.

She could feel the mood had shifted between her and Luke.

Luke straightened up, letting go of her hand. "Oh. Do you want me to come with you?"

"No, that's fine. Nick has been bugging me to hang out since they got back. He wanted to catch up and stuff."

"Alright," Luke nodded, smiling at her, not pushing further.

Setting foot in her lifelong friends' house brought a wave of nostalgia; it felt like an eternity since she had last visited. Nick welcomed her at the front door with a cheerful smile, the sounds of a heated argument between Chris and Matt can be heard from the kitchen.

"You just don't get it. I didn't know it was yours," Chris defended himself, dressed casually in shorts and a white shirt.

"Well, you should've asked me! Can't you leave a soda in the fridge for 24 hours max?" Matt shouted, clearly agitated. "Geez, you're so fucking grumpy today, is this because-" Chris replied, and Nick cleared his throat, worried that Chris might say something she should not hear. Chris noticed her presence first and practically lunged at her, almost knocking the air out of her. "Oh my god, I missed you so much."

She smiled and patted his back, returning the hug warmly. When he released her, he continued with a mischievous glint in his eyes and a playful tone, "I'm so sorry we couldn't talk much at Nate's party. You were so busy."

"Chris," Nick warned with a pointed look. Chris shrugged, still grinning.

"I missed you too and no, I wasn’t," she chuckled, glancing between Nick and Chris, offering a reassuring smile.

"Yes, you were. You were busy with your new boyfriend," Matt snapped, his tone cutting and bitter, causing her smile to slowly vanish. He wasn't looking at her, not acknowledging her presence and not even trying to hide that he doesn’t want her there.

The room fell silent, Chris and Nick exchanging shocked and speechless glances in response to Matt's outburst, making the atmosphere tense.

"In fact," Matt added, his voice sharp as knives, "you were so busy with your new boyfriend that you forgot we had plans to go to the beach with Chloe yesterday."

His words were meant to hurt, like venom injected into her heart. "Matt, please." Chris intercedes, but the tears and the lump in her throat were already starting.

"Shut up, Chris. It's true! She's Miss College-this and Miss College-that. Why are you even here? Aren't you supposed to be in Europe with your boyfriend?" Matt sneered, his blue eyes piercing through her soul, oblivious to how much his words were hurting her.

"What the hell, Matt?" Nick glowered at Matt; his eyes wide, unable to believe that his brother was speaking to her like this.

"No, it's okay Nick, leave us," she whispered, stopping him. She swallowed hard, attempting to hold back the tears and keep her composure.

Chris, sensing that this was a necessary conversation between her and Matt, guided Nick out of the kitchen. He believed in her; if anyone could handle this, it was her.

"What's your problem?" She approached Matt slowly, keeping a comfortable distance, with the kitchen counter acting as a physical barrier between them.

"You! You're my problem," Matt mumbled, avoiding eye contact, turning his head, and looking towards the window.

In the years of friendship with Matt, they never once had an argument like this. Matt had never been this upset with her, especially over missed plans. She had missed one or two in previous years, but he had never been this furious.

Her heart ached trying to understand Matt’s current level of distress. She was not understanding why the boy in front of her was seething with frustration, his cheeks flushed, hair disheveled, and his eyes usually so warm and inviting now looks exhausted and empty.

This was not the Matt she had grown so close to.

"How am I your problem? Are you seriously this fucking upset because I forgot about our plans to go to the beach yesterday?" She was getting angrier, and her voice was rising.

Matt finally looked at her again. "Just forget it."

He tried to walk away, but she blocked his path. "No. Tell me. What's wrong?"

She peered into his bloodshot eyes; he looked so done. But before she could speak again, Matt beat her to it. "Nothing's wrong. Everything's just great. Go back to your perfect boyfriend; he must be worried about you."

"He's not worried about me, Matt. Are you kidding me? What did I do to make you this upset? Look, I’m sorry, okay? We had to pack-"

Matt didn't answer and brushed past her, bumping her shoulder in the process, his back turned to her.

"Seriously, you're just going to leave? So this is about Luke? Are you jealous? Do you think I'm too busy for you guys now that I have a boyfriend?"

"I'm in love with you, okay!" Matt turned around, facing her. His blue eyes now on the verge of tears.

She stood there in stunned silence, her feet rooted to the spot. She couldn't believe it — Matthew Sturniolo, her best friend, and the boy she had secretly pined for over the years, was in love with her.

Meanwhile, in the other room, Chris and Nick listened in wide-eyed shock, their brother’s confession echoing through the house. Chris exchanged a surprised glance with Nick, who couldn’t help but roll his eyes, muttering, “Finally,” under his breath.

Matt continued, his voice frustrated, "I cannot, for the life of me, forget the day I kissed you and how much I still wanted to. How much I wanted to chase after you that night, to kiss you again, I cannot stop thinking about it."

[sihtricfedaraaahvicius]

Hey, you just posted my request about Reader from the future and medieval Sihtric. And let me tell you, girl, you've exceeded all my expectations. I can't wait for the next part! I'm smitten haha. Love all the changes and touches you added. I have no words but Thank you.

I love how you wrote me this message just in time so I can use it to post the next part. Thank you for your kind words! I once again hope you will enjoy this one until I have the next part ready to publish ;)

Warnings: a little suggestive again, not much else.

Pairing: Sihtric x modern!you (f)

Summary: part two of this request. You try to accept your new reality and Sihtric was always closer than you thought.

Word count: 3k

Note: /

Taglist: @clairacassidy @finanmoghra @uunotheangel @hb8301 @bathedinheat @neonhairspray @anaeve @bubblyabs @travelingmypassion @sylas-the-grim @heimtathurs @bubbles-for-all-of-us @valeskafics

Chapter 2.

'Burn the place.'

*******************

Sihtric had taken you to meet and speak with his lord, Uhtred. Turned out the man really was a Lord, and you had to say you were a little disappointed that your sex dungeon fantasy would not become a reality.

Lord Uhtred was joined by an Irish man called Finan and a monk called Osferth, but the Irish man said the monk's name was 'baby monk'.

After hours of conversation you eventually all agreed and believed that, somehow, you had travelled back in time. You told them what year you came from, to which everyone was a little superstitious of and spooked at for a while, as they had just dealt with some woman called Skade, something to do with a curse, you couldn't remember what exactly they had said, except that Finan said you looked better than the previous witch. It took you a while to convince them that you had no bad intentions and were just as confused as they were.

You made it clear that you really didn't want to be there, and all you wanted was to just go back home as soon as possible. And unbeknownst to you, those words had smashed Sihtric's heart into smithereens. 

Uhtred told you that he had no idea how to bring you back, if that was even possible, but regardless, he said you could stay in Coccham, and you were offered to help the Lady Gisela, Uhtred's wife, who had recently given birth and could use extra help around the house. You felt like you were to become a slave or something, but you had nowhere to go, so you reluctantly agreed before you stormed off.

*****************

Sihtric had followed you quickly, and found you hidden away, curled up in his cloak, next to a small enclosure that held a few sheep and he sat down next to you. He was quietly fidgeting with his rings, looking down at his feet as you wiped your last tears away after the heavy conversation.

'You really wish to leave, my lady?' he asked eventually, his voice soft and hurt.

'I don't belong here, Sihtric,' you shrugged, 'of course I want to go back home.'

He was silent again for a while.

'Is it better where you come from?'

'I wouldn't say it's better,' you scoffed, 'the world is still a shit show in 2023.'

You looked at Sihtric and found him frowning at you with a slight smile.

'A… shit show, lady?' he chuckled.

'Yeah,' you smiled, knowing he probably hadn't heard that term before, 'it means that… there is still a lot of chaos.'

'I understand now,' he said, and his heart was beating with such force upon seeing your smile, he thought he wouldn't live to see another day.

'I'm not saying that it's bad to be here,' you continued, 'but I have nothing here, and no one, really. No home, no friends, no money, I don't even have decent clothes,' you buried your face in your hands out of frustration.

'I- I can,' Sihtric stammered, 'I wish to look after you, lady. I can take care of you.'

'Take care of me?' you frowned, 'I don't need to be taken care of, Sihtric,' you said harshly as you got up. You took off his cloak and threw it into his lap before you walked away, leaving Sihtric behind, completely bewildered for a moment.

Finan had watched the event unfold from a distance and walked over to Sihtric as you walked away. Finan whistled softly as he nudged Sihtric's shoulder with his knee.

'Ye kept all that hidden from us under yer cloak?' the Irish man grinned as he watched you walk away, all fishnet tights and ripped dress.

'Don't even think about it,' Sihtric huffed as he got up, running after you like a little puppy.

You felt a little offended. Back home, you had built a successful jewellery business all by yourself, you didn't need anyone to take care of you, as if you were some helpless little thing. You murmured to yourself while you had no idea where you were walking to, and you glanced over your shoulder when you heard someone rapidly approach. You rolled your eyes at the sight of Sihtric. Yes, he was adorable and meant well, but you were simply overwhelmed by everything. You didn't want to answer any more questions.

'Lady,' Sihtric called behind you, 'lady, wait.' You stopped and turned to him.

'Sihtric, please, I-'

'You shouldn't be out here dressed like that,' Sihtric said shyly, pushing his cloak in your hands again, 'other men,' he hesitated, 'they will look.'

You frowned, 'Yeah, that's another thing men still do in my day. So?' You held his cloak and you fought the urge, but you were freezing, so you quickly hid underneath the warm fur again as he spoke to you.

'I- I don't want them to look at you, lady, not the way I know they will.'

'Isn't it the same way you look at me?' you raised an eyebrow and crossed your arms, which he couldn't even see, as the cloak was way too big for you, covering you entirely, neck to toes.

'Maybe,' Sihtric mumbled, 'but… but I found you. I saw you first, lady,' he showed his adorable smile again.

Found you first? What did that mean? Did he think you belong to him now? Was finding a woman in the woods the medieval olympics and they get to keep you as a price? Was he claiming you? You surely weren't going to be claimed by anyone. You gave him a mean look, but your body betrayed you when you felt yourself blush lightly at his words. He was right in a way, he had found you, and he had been helping you, and… he was still so damn cute.

'You don't want them to see me?' you questioned him again.

'No, lady, not like that,' he said shyly again and looked down at his feet.

You decided to taunt him, probably your coping mechanism coming out, by sticking out your fishnet covered leg from underneath his cloak, 'You mean… you don't want any other man to see this?' you fluttered your eyelashes as you slowly pulled the cloak higher up your thigh. 

Sihtric's eyes grew wide upon seeing your uncovered leg and he swallowed hard as his cheeks coloured. That boy definitely had a leg kink, you chuckled lightly to yourself.

'Or... do you not want to see this?' smiled playfully, pretending to drop the cloak back over your leg, but you stopped your movement when Sihtric began to speak.

'No, I- I do, I… I mean, no, I-' Sihtric couldn't bring out much more, his mind was simply clouded with all the things he'd do for you, just so you'd allow him to kiss your legs up and down completely. Gods, he was desperate for your legs.

'So you are allowed to see it, but no one else is? I understand now,' you grinned and fully covered yourself again. 

Sihtric shifted uncomfortably and couldn't look you in the eyes right now. And as he looked down at his feet again, he told you it's best to go to the Lady Gisela, she will have clean and warm clothes for you. He pointed you in the right direction before he shuffled away, awkwardly wishing you a good day and apologising if he had offended you today.

****************

Lady Gisela was pleasantly kind. Uhtred had informed her about you already and she never questioned you or your appearance, instead, she immediately gave you a few of her own dresses you could keep. You cleaned yourself up while a servant made you some food. You had to laugh when you remembered that the food you were given, bread, cheese and some wine, was considered peasant food in your day, while you actually loved it. You felt a little better after everything and enjoyed Gisela's company. 

You asked her where you were supposed to stay, and she told you that Uhtred already arranged a small but cosy house for you to stay at. It was across the town, and as it was already dark out, Gisela asked Clapa to walk you to your new home. Clapa was a huge man of little words, but friendly nonetheless.

After a short walk you found your house. And it was small, yes, but it had a bed, buckets to get water to wash yourself with, a table, some chairs, a little kitchen with a cooking pot and a bunch of furs in front of the fire pit. A fire pit! What a luxury. You didn't even have a fire pit back home, which you always wanted. 

The place had everything you needed, and for a moment you felt like you were on holiday. But that feeling quickly faded when you instinctively reached for your backpocket, which Gisela's dress obviously didn't have, to find your phone, which you also didn't have. 

And you hated to admit it, but you cried yourself to sleep that night, feeling scared, lost, confused and very lonely. And you secretly wished that Sihtric, the sweet boy he was, had been by your side at that moment.

***************

You woke up at the crack of fucking dawn when a rooster woke up the entire Burh. You had no idea what time it was, as clocks weren't a thing and neither were phones. You sighed when you realised it wasn't all a dream and you were still stuck in Coccham. But you decided to try and make the best of it. You got up and picked one of Gisela's pretty dresses to wear.

You wanted to wash your face before you went over to Gisela, to assist her with her newborn. When you looked outside, it seemed as if it was still freezing and you remembered you still had Sihtric's cloak, which you wrapped yourself in before you grabbed the large bucket and went to find a water source. 

As you closed your front door and turned to walk away you immediately saw Sihtric. A sudden adrenaline rushed through your body and you felt flustered. He was still cute this early in the morning, whereas you probably looked like a goblin. Nevertheless, Sihtric's face lit up as soon as he saw you.

'Lady,' he smiled widely as he came over, 'you live there?'

'Eh, yeah, I suppose I do now,' you chuckled, awkwardly carrying the large bucket with you, 'why?'

'I- I live here,' the boy pointed to the house behind him, which was, of course, right across from yours. You could literally look into each other's windows if you pulled away the fabrics that made for curtains.

'Oh,' you said, not unpleasantly surprised, 'well, that's… close.'

'I know,' Sihtric smiled, 'so, i-if you ever need anything-'

'I'll know where to find you, yes,' you smiled back, 'thank you.'

'How did you sleep?'

'I slept… a little.'

'It's something,' he said, 'do you need help with that?' Sihtric pointed at the empty bucket.

'I just wanted to get some water, is there a well somewhere?'

'There is,' Sihtric said, 'but it's frozen.'

'Oh.'

'You'll have to go to the river.'

'How far is the river?'

'The whole journey? Half a day's walk.'

'What?'

'Half a day-'

'Yeah, I heard you,' you said, stunned, 'I don't have time for that. Gisela expects me soon.'

'I still have some water left,' Sihtric said quickly, 'you can use what I have, I will take my horse and fetch more water later. For you as well, if you wish?'

'Are you sure?'

'Of course, lady.' And his sweet smile appeared again before he disappeared inside his house. 

You waited, a little flustered still, until he soon came back out and handed you the bucket with clean water. Your fingers brushed against his as you took the bucket out of his hands, and for a moment you feared you'd spill the water all over your dress, but luckily, you managed to compose yourself in time. You thanked him and made your way inside, fixing yourself up as best as you could before you went to the Lady Gisela.

****************

Your day with Gisela was nice but quite uneventful. You helped her with the baby, not that you had any experience, but the Lady didn't seem to notice that and gladly handed you the little child as she took care of her own tasks. You were basically a medieval babysitter. And before you left, Gisela told you to have dinner with her and Uhtred. You had pleasant conversations with them, especially with Gisela, who was not very focused on the fact you came from the future. She just wanted to get to know you, as a person, and she didn't seem to judge. You felt Gisela was a very free spirited woman, which surprised you, seeing the year you were in. 

After dinner, Uhtred gave you one coin of silver, which you thanked him for, having no idea what to do with it.

By the time you went home it was dark once again, so Clapa escorted you back. It was winter, so the light made place for darkness rather early, but you still had no idea what time it was and it felt incredibly disorientating. It made you dizzy when you thought about it for too long.

You shivered at the harsh winter cold and you suddenly felt bad about still having Sihtric's cloak, he must be cold too and you didn't know if he had a spare. When you arrived at your house, you saw there was a faint glow shining through Sihtric's curtains, and you decided to return his cloak once Clapa couldn't see you anymore.

Your 2023 brain made you search for a doorbell, but when you remembered that those things didn't exist, you knocked. After a few long seconds Sihtric opened the door, surprised but happy to see you. You told him you felt bad about his cloak and handed it back to him, which he initially didn't want to accept, but you simply insisted. He then told you he had fetched you water, and the bucket was next to your door, it would be frozen now so he told you to bring it inside and place it near the fire pit. You thank him for his advice and you felt yourself smile as you walked into your own home.

After a few hours of warming yourself near the fire, you went to bed. Only to be awoken at some point by a weird scratching sound. You thought you had imagined it and tried to fall back asleep, until the sound occurred again, louder this time. You jumped up and lit a few candles as fast as you could. You really wished you had a flashlight right now, but alas. You took the one candle and followed the scratching sound. It led you to your little kitchen, under the kitchen to be more specific, and suddenly you laid eyes upon a huge, round, brown rat. And the scream that left your mouth was demonic. You almost dropped the candle as you ran over to your bed. You jumped up on it, panicked, not knowing how to rid your home of that creature. Until you remembered Sihtric. He lived across and had told you that if you needed anything… and you needed something now. In all your panic you didn't even get properly dressed and you ran outside in your halloween dress, which you used to sleep in now, and you rapidly knocked on his door.

It took a moment before Sihtric opened the door, and when he did, you were greeted by his sleepy face, his messy hair along with his shirtless and very muscular torso. And it may have been winter, but your body temperature went up to the Bahamas summer heat at the sight of him.

'Lady?' his voice was raspy from sleep, which did not help you cool off.

'There- t- there is a- a,' you stammered, 'a rat! In my home! There is a rat!'

'A rat?' Sihtric asked, a little confused.

'I need you to get rid of it!'

'What?'

'Sihtric, please! I am terrified. It needs to leave!'

Sihtric blinked rapidly a few times and groaned lightly, 'y-yeah, okay. I, uh, let me grab my boots.'

It wasn't much later until you followed closely behind Sihtric as he inspected your house, holding a candle. Luckily, he saw the rat too, and agreed it was a large one. As he was about to try and chase it away, you suddenly saw another rat appear, to which you screamed and clung onto Sihtric's broad shoulders, which he didn't seem to mind much.

'Oh, god! Another one!' you cried. Sihtric couldn't help but chuckle at your fear, and he made it worse by saying you probably have a nest in your home somewhere.

'Burn the place.'

'What?'

'Burn it!' you said, 'all of it! The whole house!'

'Lady,' Sihtric smiled, 'you can't just burn your house because of some rats.'

'I am not staying here! I- I am leaving.'

'Where to?' he frowned, clearly amused.

'I-,' you paused, 'I don't know. To Gisela!'

'They don't have room for another person after their newborn,' Sihtric smiled.

'Oh, god! I don't know, I just have to go!' you exclaimed and ran out the door.

Sihtric was quick to follow and grabbed your hand, pulling you back towards him with a little force, causing your hands to settle on his bare chest. And what a feeling that was.

'Listen, little goddess,' Sihtric spoke softly, and your insides completely melted, 'calm down,' he hushed you as his hands settled on your upper arms, 'I guess, if you want… you can sleep over at my place for the night. Tomorrow, when there's more light, I will rid your home of the rats. Okay?'

'O-okay,' you mumbled. 

You just wanted to get away from the nasty creatures, you had no intention of staying over with him, but you didn't mind it at all. That is also why you were a little disappointed when you realised Sihtric would not sleep in his bed with you. He was to sleep on the floor, while you took his bed. You thought it was sweet, and not the kind of behaviour you were used to by men. And for a moment you thought maybe living here wasn't that bad afterall. Except, you really wouldn't have minded if he had tried to fuck you that night. But he didn't, causing you to lie awake for hours, a little frustrated.

The next morning when that damn rooster woke you up again, you noticed Sihtric was gone. And as you peeked through his curtains, you saw he was in your home, getting rid of the rats. And when he returned to you, he confirmed there had been a nest living under your kitchen, but he also reassured you that they were all gone now, to which you joked that he should add a few new lines onto his fingers, which he thought was funny, and made him adore you even more.

You thanked him with a quick kiss on his cheek before you ran off to the Lady Gisela. You didn't want to be late. And you left Sihtric behind with red cheeks, trembling hands and a huge smile on his face.

[allwaswell16]

Fics by allwaswell16 📖 2023

🍄 Louis/Harry 🍄

Bitter Ends Turn Sweet (series) [E, 34k, kid fic, fic post]

Part One: Bitter Ends Turn Sweet [E, 30k, fic post] It had been four years since Harry first heard the song his ex wrote about him and far longer since they broke up. He forgave Louis long ago, and now his life was focused on his career, his family, and especially his son, Max. But Louis was back in Chicago, after all this time, and he’s not an easy man to ignore.Or a songfic inspired by the song Chicago Part Two: In Time [M, 2k, fic post] Harry's uncertainty about their relationship began before he ever stepped foot on the plane to Amsterdam.A prequel/timestamp to the fic Bitter Ends Turn Sweet Part Three: Yours and Mine [T, 1k, fic post] Louis goes to the library with his favourite people, his boyfriend Harry and his son, Max.A Bitter Ends Turns Sweet timestamp

Heart Beat [E, 33k, kid fic, fic post]

Hideaway Haven is the place that Louis has always called home. It's also the place that Harry had tried to leave behind him. When Harry returns to start a music academy in his hometown, he finds himself face to face with his high school crush—and his charming daughter who wants to learn to play the drums.

Ace of Spades (series)

Part Three: Ace of Hearts [E, 10k, fic post] Louis Tomlinson, the alpha Duke of Yorkshire, had returned to England to stay now that he’d married and mated. But since his husband was also the omega he’d once held captive aboard his half-brother’s pirate ship, he held back from pushing Harry into parenthood.With the Ace of Spades now docked in London, Harry spent time with his friends from the crew and remained a bit oblivious to his alpha’s deepest desires. What he was aware of was his best friend’s hurt and his mother-in-law’s wish for more than friendship with her oldest friend.

On That Note [E, 6k, coworkers, fic post]

Louis’ office job on an omega only floor would be absolutely fine, if not for the alphas he and his friends have to deal with in the building. But although they’ve never met face to face, the friendly notes sent between him and Harry in Purchasing help him get through the day.

Do You See What I See [T, 2k, pets, fic post]

Harry may or may not be rescuing stray animals as an excuse to see the very hot local veterinarian.

Or an absurd pet fic inspired by She Is Beauty We Are World Class

All This Time [T, 1k, a/b/o, fic post]

Louis Tomlinson had been best friends with flower shop owner Gemma Styles for years. It wasn't until she suggested he date her alpha brother that he ever thought of Harry that way. Maybe it wasn't such a bad idea...

Netflix Original [T, 1k, neighbors, fic post]

Harry's hot neighbor overhears that he doesn't have Netflix.

Walk of Shame [T, 1k, meet cute, fic post]

On a cold, rainy autumn morning Louis meets someone else doing the walk of shame.

A Deal [T, 898 words, Potter Direction, fic post]

Slytherin Harry Styles spends his free time drawing down by the lake. Unfortunately, he can't show anyone what he's drawing because they're all of Gryffindor Louis Tomlinson.

🍄 Rare Pairs 🍄

One [E, 4k, Louis/Tommy Shelby (Peaky Blinders), fic post]

When omega Louis Tomlinson becomes pregnant after an unexpected encounter, he decides his only option is to flee his pack. But Tommy Shelby, pack alpha of the Peaky Blinders, might not be willing to let him go so easily.

Daydream [T, 2k, Louis/Zayn, fic post]

Every Thursday, Louis nods hello to her fellow regulars at Horan’s Cafe, one of whom is the woman of her dreams.

Crush [T, 1k, Louis/Niall, fic post]

When Niall stops smiling around the office, his co-worker Louis sets out to lift his mood with the help of their office mates.

[tonberry-yoda]

Down - Luffy

notes - @thatoneartistinthecorner THIS ONE IS FOR YOU! I FINALLY WROTE YOU A LUFFY FIC! I just saw an art on Instagram of him hugging Boa and wanted to give the boy a hug, so I wrote this! I hope you enjoy it! I loved writing this little fic, so I hope my Luffy lovers love it too!

word count - 450

WARNINGS - angst (sad luff), spoilers for one piece (mention of a character's death) [it's a well known death, but spoilers are spoilers lolol]

"You doin' alright?" you asked, walking out to the deck with a plate of food in your hand. You gave it to Luffy, who was sitting in the cold, wrapped in a blanket.

He just nodded and didn't even look down at the plate. He had been acting off, which was very noticeable for Luffy. He was always the goofy guy who knew that he was going to be king of the pirates, but for some reason, he's been down. Like just looking like... not Luffy.

"Are you sure?" you tried, pushing a piece of his hair behind his ear. "You only had one plate for dinner. Sanji made me bring this one to you." You giggled, but Luffy didn't even smile.

"Say thanks to Sanji for me." he said, his voice low. The wind blew and Luffy held his hat down over his eyes, completely covering them as if the night sky wasn't doing that for him already.

"Luffy, do you wanna talk?"

"No."

"Alright... Well, I hope you feel better. Make sure to eat, okay? Goodnight."

You stood up and left Luffy be. You didn't want to pry. Life has been weird for you and the rest of the Strawhats since you had all just got reunited after two years. It was crazy to be away from each other for so long, but now you were back. Maybe all the stress he had faced losing you all and just now seeing you had finally hit him. Or maybe he was just having thoughts of Ace. That was an occasional thing that happened. You weren't sure, but you definitely didn't want to be in Luffy's way, so you decided to head out.

"Wait," you heard just as you were leaving the front of the Sunny. "I don't wanna talk, but... can I at least get a hug?"

You turned to see Luffy in front of you, a light from above showing tears running down his cheeks.

"Of course you can." you told him, opening your arms for him.

He fell right in and wrapped his long arms around your shoulders. He held you tight and just cried. It was hard to see Luffy like this.

You rubbed his back and pressed him to you. "I'm here if you need anything." you whispered softly, pressing a kiss to his forehead and playing with the back of his hair.

"Thank you."

You two stayed hugging for what seemed like hours before you both fell asleep even though at least one of you should've stayed up for lookout.

But it didn't really matter, because when you woke up, you found Luffy with a smile on his face fast asleep on your chest.

~~~~~

one piece masterlist | pinned post

2023 @tonberry-yoda – do not repost or claim ANY of my work as your own! likes, reblogs, and comments are not only welcome, but appreciated

~~~~~

[mywons]

❛ pixelated love. drabble

▸ ִֶָ tags [ boyfriend ] heeseung x reader, fluff + really just something short and cute i wrote a while ago + gamer!bf heeseung bc im in love with him + happy babies + sweet reader brings bf some snacks. warnings! && none ✿ 0.3k words —

You knew Heeseung’s gaming was a big thing for him. He loved it, one of his hobbies outside of being an idol. There were a few days where his replies to you would be lesser and lesser, leaving you wondering if you’d done something wrong. As you got used to your relationship, you realized that he was nowhere near upset with you, just immersed in his favorite video games.

This time you’d decided to surprise him by stopping at his apartment, with some of his favorite snacks.

You’d gotten there pretty quickly, it was only around 12PM, so you figured you’d probably be staying there for the rest of the day. Using the key he’d gotten especially personalized for you, the door’s lock clicks loose and you slide it open, glancing around briefly—his place is still rather clean from when you’d last been there.

You slip your shoes off and next to the now closed door, bag of snacks still in hand as you make your way towards his bedroom door.

Heeseung’s focus is still on his screen as you creep up behind him, setting the goodies on his bed. Your hands find his shoulder, squeezing gently and he doesn’t hesitate to pull his headphones off and spin his gaming chair around to face you.

“Hey, what—“ his eyes dart between you and the door a few times, a thought of how he didn’t hear you crossing his mind, “what are you doing here, baby?”

You shrug, “I just wanted to see you. I brought some stuff,” you gesture towards the bag and his hands quickly trail up your sides to your waist, pulling you to sit down on his lap.

Seeing that he’s immediately being affectionate with you, you mentally gather that he’d probably not even checked his phone yet. With a smile, you tell him you’d been texting him and his face drops.

“Ah, I’m sorry. I completely forgot. I’ll get off the game now, you hungry?”

You quickly shake your head and thank whoever was pulling the strings of earth that you’d quite literally fallen into the arms of the sweetest boy on the planet.

mywons © 2023 ## please do not plagiarize my works.

[ailendolin]

Here are my first thoughts after finally having watched the 2023 Christmas Special for the first time:

Positive:

Baby Mia is absolutely adorable and Alison and Mike are wonderful parents. They've grown and matured so much throughout the series and it's lovely to see that in the way they are with Mia and take care of her

and speaking of growth: I think it's lovely that in the end, the ghosts are ready to let Alison and Mike go. They've really come full circle from trying to get them to leave in the beginning to begging them to stay in series 5 and finally, to encouraging them to leave because that's what's best for Alison and Mike's family

I love that Alison looks like the tired, exhausted mum she is. These days, characters often look picture perfect in film and TV, no matter the situation, and Ghosts has always felt like a breath of fresh air because people are allowed to look normal. It's little things like Alison's yellow coat that she's worn throughout the show hanging by the door, her wearing Mike's flannels or having bags under her eyes that make it feel beautifully real down to Earth, and I'm glad the downsides of having a child didn't get glossed over

one of my favourite moments was the shrug Humphrey's body gave when everyone was looking for its head. That genuinely made me laugh because of course the body would not care whether the head would get exorcised or not

and omg, the exorcism scene was so well done! I love the music in the background (I so hope we'll get a soundtrack one day), the panic on Mike's face when he quite literally runs to warn Alison, the panic on Alison's face when she's faced with the possibility of losing the ghosts, the fear when she can't find them (which parallels 5x01) and finally the relief and smile when she hears their voices. That whole sequence was just perfect

I love that it's Thomas who says, "Because they just can't help being who they are," because it's not an excuse for his behaviour but an explanation - and a recurring theme for him. Right in the beginning of the show, he said, "We stay how we die," and I think for him, those words have proven to be true. He is heartbroken and he'll stay that way. He can't help that. He does not want Alison to go ("Why did I vote for this? I hate it.") but in the end he knows it's what's best for her and for himself, even if it breaks his broken heart a little more.

seeing Button House in all its glory in the end. It still being called Button House. Fanny and Humphrey's portraits on the wall (and the third one might be Kitty's?). Higham Suite (which was the thing that made me tear up because my first thought was that it's meant to honour Isabelle and I love that (although I realise it's probably meant to honour Kitty but I'm choosing to ignore that)). Thomas still complimenting Alison even though she's grown old and thus making a point that his affections for her were never just about her looks

Neutral:

I would have preferred if Alison and Mike had stayed at Button House because for me, the show has always been about family and I don't think they had to leave the ghosts behind to find their own way. BUT the way the Idiots wrote and executed it - with the ghosts encouraging them to leave, establishing that Alison and Mike regularly come back to the house and with details like Higham Suite that clearly show that Alison and Mike had the ghosts in mind when they made the contract for sale - makes it okay for me.

I'm a bit sad we did not get to see more of the ghosts interacting with baby Mia but what we saw - Pat and Cap especially - was very sweet

Negative:

the pacing. I am so sorry but I think they crammed too much into the episode. They either should have cut the exorcism storyline (as much as I loved it) or gone for a 60 minute special. There's just too much going on for 30 minutes, and too many time jumps (I wasn't a fan of them in the 2021 Christmas Special either) that sadly make the whole episode feel very rushed

and because it felt so rushed a lot of plots did not have the impact they were meant to have, at least not on me. Robin's feelings about Christmas for example.

also what was going on with Kitty and the baby at the beginning? Her being jealous is obviously not a new thing but the issue did not really get resolved, did it?

the latter also goes for Thomas's feelings for Alison which brings me to my biggest criticism of the whole show: he never got the character development he deserved (and, to an extent, neither did Fanny). The whole baby storyline would have been the perfect set up for him to move on from Alison (including discussions about different types of love and him realising that Alison does love him platonically and that that's enough) but it never happened. I feel like he was done dirty in that regard because every other character except him got to grow

I have probably missed a ton of moments - and I will rewatch the episode once I've rewatched series 5 - and likely repeated things here that others have said before. Since I had blocked all tags blocked when the Special aired I have no idea how the fandom's reaction to it was but if anyone still wants to talk about it, my asks are open.