#I’m about to give up every ounce of stability I have and move to a new city because I stumbled across a place that would take me right away

[tonysslut]

Hey!!

Could I officially request this?

Like, just older, dark-ish Tony carelessly overstimulating you over and over again (and being pretty rough too)

Hi! I hope this turned out how you wanted. I'm still figuring out how to write dark!tony lol. and the ending it kinda shitty but that's expected

Summary: Tony tried being gentle, but he just can't hold back anymore

Warnings: Smut, dirty talk, overstimulation, unprotected sex, choking, cream pie, slight size kink.

W/C: 1.1k

Tony Stark Masterlist

Seeing your small, naked frame sprawled out on his bed was a sight for sore eyes. You looked so fragile, almost like one wrong move would break you. That drove him completely wild. He used every ounce of his willpower to be gentle with you last night, but he doesn’t think he’ll be able to restrain himself today.

You feel his fingers dancing along your side, causing goosebumps to rise on your skin. He slowly woke you up, pressing opened mouth kisses on your shoulder, his thumb brushing over your hardened nipple.

“Tony.” You breathe out, feeling your clit starting to throb with need. 

He rolls over and spreads your legs to settle in between them. His heavy cock rested on your stomach, tip an angry shade of red with beads of precum leaking onto your skin. Leaning down, he leads you into a passionate kiss, his tongue slipping into your mouth as you moan.

He pushes your legs to your chest with his thighs, leaving you bare to him. Caging you in with his big arms, essentially trapping you. Your cunt glistens with your arousal. He groans, seeing how wet you are. 

“You want daddy's cock?” He says, voice laced with lust. You instantly shake your head, biting your bottom lips when he rubs his bulbous head in between your puffy folds. He tsks, shaking his head in disappointment. 

“What did I tell you last night? Use your big girl words, or have you already gone dumb?” His words go straight to your core, making you clench around nothing. 

“M’sorry daddy. I want you inside me, please.” You whine, shaking your hips to see if he finally sinks inside you. 

He gives you a quick ‘good girl’ before lining up with your entrance and slowly pushing into you. Tony circles his hips when he bottoms out, your nails digging into his biceps at the intensity. Pulling out, he leaves just the tip in before pushing back in, making you gasp and clench around him. He closes his eyes and tries desperately to recompose himself, but he loses it when he opens his eyes. 

Your eyes are glazed over, senses completely taken over by Tony. His aroma wraps around you, mind going blank. You notice his eyes darkening, a feral look that sends a chill up your spine. The speed of his movements increases, blurring the lines of pleasure and pain.

“T-tony. Slow down.” You rush out, feeling like he’s about to split you in half. 

He grabs your face, squishing your cheeks together as he speaks. “You take what I give you. Understood?” You try your best to respond, but between his grip on you and his thrusts, it comes out more like an incoherent mumble.

You feel him squeeze your cheeks, ‌parting your lips and spitting into your mouth. You moan at the obscene action, your walls fluttering as you swallow. 

“Dirty girl, I can feel your greedy cunt clenching around my cock. Gonna cum?” He says in a mocking tone. 

“Yes! Yes, please. I’m so close.” Tears fill your eyes at the intensity, jaw going slack when Tony presses two fingers on your swollen clit. The extra stimulation makes your orgasm rip through you, toes curling as your legs shake. Your cunt tightens around Tony’s cock, almost making it impossible for him to thrust into you. 

He throws his head back with a low roar at the feeling. The bit of restraint he had is now lost when he sees tears running down your cheeks. He places his hands on your waist and leans back until you're straddling him, your hands dropping to his chest to stabilize yourself. 

“Grind that pretty pussy on me, baby.” You do as he says, moving your hips back and forth, feeling the sparse hairs on his pelvis rub against your sensitive clit. “Just like that, good fucking girl.” 

Your legs shake as you move, still riding out your previous orgasm. Tony’s hand creeps up your front, pinching your hardened nipple before wrapping it around your throat. He watches as your eyes roll back, squeezing just enough to give you a head buzz. 

You wrap your hands around his wrist, lips parting at the feeling. Tony takes the opportunity to push two fingers past your parted lips. Your eyes widen, but you enclose your lips around his thick digits, moaning as you suck on them. 

“Look at you, sucking daddy’s finger while you ride me. Such a dirty whore.”

He pushes his fingers further into your mouth, causing you to gag around them. His fingers glisten with your spit when he pulls them out, bringing them down to rub your clit. You jerk away at the sensation, still feeling sensitive from your previous orgasm.

“Don’t run away from me, princess.” He growls, placing his free hand on your hip to keep you grinding on his cock.  

“Too s-senstive.” You whine, quickly feeling your release build deep inside you. 

He completely ignores you, only focusing on the way your cunt tightens around him. You throw your head back with a scream as you gush around him, your release hitting you without a warning. Your body goes numb, you feel hot and cold all at once but you keep your hips moving because it just feels too good. Tony looks down at his chest that’s now covered with your juices. Collecting some on his fingers, he shoves them into your mouth. You moan as you taste yourself. 

Without a warning, he pushes you against the mattress and flips you over, putting your ass in the air while your face is pressed against the mattress. He’s quick to slam back into you, fucking you deeper and harder than before. You can feel the tip of his cock kissing your cervix. It’s unlike anything you’ve felt before. The bed creaks with the force of his movements. You gasp as you desperately try to fill your lungs with air. 

“It’s fuck t-too much.” You rush out, hoping he’ll slow down. 

“Does it hurt, princess?” He says in a patronizing tone. You quickly nod your head. “Well, too bad, you’re gonna take it until Daddy's finished.” 

You whine at his words, hot tears soaking the sheets as you press your face into the mattress. Your limbs give out on you as orgasm after orgasm wash over you, thighs covered in your slick, a thin layer of sweat makes your skin glow under the sunlight. 

Tony’s thrusts start to become sloppy, his groans and moans fill the room, letting you know he’s about to cum. You use whatever strength you have left to turn your head to look at him. 

“Please cum in me. Fill me up daddy.” That’s all it takes for Tony’s orgasm to take over. He pushes you into the mattress, a bruising grip on your hips as his hot seed coats your velvet walls. 

He collapse on top of you, his weight pressed against you feels so comforting, causing you to pass out before he has a chance to pull out. You wake up when he picks you up, walking towards the bathroom to clean you up. 

“Don’t worry, princess, I’ve got you.” 

Taglist: @ccbsrms @athenastark18 @aetherneto @hiddlechive @raajali3 @rookiemartin @strangeions @esposadomd 

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What Are You?

A/N: All I have to say is I'm really proud of this fic, so much freaking fun to write. I am hopelessly devoted to Kirishima. Please let me know what you think! For the tags, I just tagged those that interacted with the post I made about starting this series, if you wanted added or removed just let me know!

Summary: A movie night gets a little out of hand, next thing you know you're losing your virginity to Kirishima.

Pairing: Pro Hero Kirishima x FemReader (you) both aged up 18+

Warnings: First time, virginity loss, virgin reader, experienced Kirishima, LOTS of consent, oral (female receiving) size kink, daddy kink, rough sex, spanking, choking, belly buldge, multiple orgasms, unprotected sex, degredation, dumbification if you squint, very mushy aftercare in the shower, I think that's all of them lmao.

Word Count: 9,304

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The movie you had started is long forgotten, the sounds fading into white noise as your eyelids drift shut. Your body feels like lead, and your brain is quickly turning off. You feel like you could melt into the bed and stay there for several days. You snuggle into Kirishima a little more, barely processing the contented hum he lets out when you do.

"You fallin' asleep sweetheart?" He mumbles against the top of your head, finishing his sentence with a gentle kiss.

"Nah, just resting my eyes." You lie, very aware of how quickly sleep is overtaking your exhausted body.

"Want me to drive you home?" He asks, one hand coming up so he can run his fingers through your hair.

You just shake your head weakly, not ready to remove yourself from his warmth. You really just want to stay, but you two haven't really crossed that line yet. You've been dating for a few months now, but you move painfully slow. You blame it on your lack of experience over all. Being a virgin in your first relationship has definitely come with a lot of caution and slow progress.

Kirishima has been absolutely incredible though, always letting you set the pace, always asking questions, and offering reassurance when needed. You've both definitely had some close calls though, with how much time you spend together and how irresistible he is, it's been hard to keep your hands off of him. You've had your fair share of handsy makeout sessions, but that's about it.

Today does feel a little different though, like there's been some kind of shift. Maybe it's the right time to take that next step, Kirishima has definitely proven himself to be worthy of your trust. You're confident that he would stop when needed, go as slow as you asked him to, and be there for you after.

As your mind races you wrap your arms around the wall of muscle beside you, cherishing the security his large body gives you. You sigh and shift your head so your chin is resting on his chest, allowing you to glance up at him. As always, you're floored by his beauty. His scarlet eyes meet yours as his lips twitch up into a fond smirk. He's definitely the rugged kind of handsome, small white scars litter his face from his few years of hero work.

The most noticeable scar is the one on his upper lip, about two inches in length as it travels up away from his pretty mouth. Your hand absentmindedly reaches up so you can run your thumb over it while you cup his face. He melts into your touch, turning to place a kiss on your palm. Your entire body lights up when he does, he's always giving you sweet little kisses, and you love it more than life itself.

"Whatcha lookin' at my busted face for?" He teases.

You smile coyly as you slide your leg around his hip, slowly bringing yourself up so you can straddle him. You slide your other hand up to hold his face as well, leaning down to press a kiss into his forehead.

"It's a beautiful face." You whisper as you sit back up so you can look down at him again.

God, the sight of him. Wild crimson hair falling across the pillow, stunning porcelain skin offering a marvelous contrast. Your hands slide down his neck, to his collar bones, then down his clothed torso. You mentally curse the black t-shirt that's currently hiding his skin from you, even though he looks incredible in it.

"What are you thinking about hon?" He asks quietly.

Your eyes flash up to his and he gives you a knowing look.

Does he feel it too? You've had plenty of long talks about it, he's always been open about how much he wants to make sure it's a safe experience. He offers you nothing but stability and assurance. The nerve wracking part is that he's so experienced. You're not jealous that he's been with people before you, just worried that you won't live up to them. Kiri has always been very open about his past relationships, just like you have with yours. It's just a matter of finding the confidence to take the next step.

"Oh, you're thinking too much." He says quietly, grabbing your hands to pull them apart.

You hadn't even realized you'd begun to pick at your thumb, but of course he's paying attention.

"Can I stay?" You blurt out, sounding a little too panicked.

"You can always stay." He says as he wraps his arms around your waist, then brings his mouth to press innocent kisses into your neck.

"Baby?" You say, hands carding through his hair.

He only hums, lips still working against your sensitive skin.

"Can we try?" You ask quietly.

Your eyes lock, tension builds, and hands tighten as you both silently understand your heavy implications.

"Are you sure?" He asks with all the sincerity he has.

"I love you, Kiri, I trust you." You breathe out, letting your head fall to rest your forehead against his own.

"If you need me to stop at any point you tell me, understand?" He says with a tone you can't quite decipher. It could be called firm, but that's not exactly right… convicted, he sounds convicted.

"Of course, Red." His body responds to his hero name in the most beautiful way. Muscles tense as he takes a deep breath in, steady arms pull your body towards his. Very suddenly, but some also not soon enough, your lips are on his. Brilliant, rose colored warmth spreads through your veins as he kisses the breath out of your lungs.

"Can I lay you on your back?" He asks against your lips.

"Please." You sigh.

In one swift movement, he scoops you into his arms and spins you around so he can lay you gently on the mattress. One hand stays on your waist, while the other comes up to hold your face.

"I love you, you know that right?" He asks, when you look into his eyes your heart aches when you see all the begging in them.

"Kiri, I've never been more sure of anything." You assure him.

He gives you his thousand watt smile and you can't help but return it. This man is something else. He's the kind that lights up a room, that gives when he's empty, and loves relentlessly. Most of all, he's completely, inexplicably yours.

Your head spins when he dips his head down to kiss your collar bones.

"I'm gonna get you real worked up, ok?" He says then presses one long kiss into your shoulder.

Excitement blasts through your veins. What a beautiful promise he's just made, and you can't wait for him to live up to his word.

"I need you to tell me what feels good." He whispers against your skin as his hands come up so push your tank top up your torso.

"Ok." You reply, cursing yourself for how basic the response is. He's probably used to people who can dirty talk like no tomorrow, and all you can manage are weak one word responses.

"You're thinkin' too much honey." He says with a deep chuckle, his hands halt once he has the fabric bunched at your ribs.

"Talk to me." He says.

"I'm just nervous. Insecurities and all that, worried I won't live up to other people. You know, stupid virgin thoughts." You stumble through the sentence, barely articulating the nerves buzzing around in your abdomen.

"Listen to me." Kiri says with his firm, guiding tone.

"It's just you now. Not them, never will be them again." He brings one of your hands up so he can kiss your knuckles.

"You're my girl, that's all that's on my mind."

The reassurance is short and sweet, but Kiri is always like that with his words. He says it like it is, but there's always immeasurable heart behind what he says, so it's enough to still your nerves.

"Can I make you feel good now?" He asks, face slightly mischievous.

"I think you know the answer." You can't help but giggle when his fingers meet your ribs again to finish taking off your tank top.

Soon he's got you panting and grasping at the sheets. Your clothes are long gone, and he is definitely staying true to his promise to get you worked up. Rough hands are on your waist, while his hot, wet mouth trails across the tops of your breasts. The more time he spends kissing your body, the easier it is to let the nerves die out. Every ounce of uncertainty vanishes the second his soft lips wrap around one of your nipples.

"Oh, baby." You sigh, back arching slightly.

"Like that?" He asks, breaking only briefly. Soon his mouth is back on you, tongue drawing lazy circles around your sensitive buds.

"Yeah…" You find yourself wishing you could respond better again, but your mind is mush.

"How bout this?" He asks as he slides his other hand up to pinch your other nipple.

You rub your thighs together to try and alleviate some of the pressure building in your core. You have to be embarrassingly soaked at this point. After just a few seconds of nipple play, you're already throbbing and it's maddening.

"Kiri." You groan, the friction of his fingers contrasting wonderfully with the smooth movements of his tongue.

You want to feel him everywhere, you want to be overwhelmed by him. The way his tongue is working, you can only imagine him using it somewhere else.

"K-kiri?" You say with a shuddering breath.

"Yeah angel?" He answers, his hand still playing with you a little.

"Lower, please?" Your voice is so shy and timid, and you feel the hot blush spread across your cheeks.

"You're so fuckin' cute." He mumbles before planting an open mouthed kiss between your breasts.

With the same slow, teasing pace, he kisses down your stomach. He stops right under your belly button and glances up at you through his lashes. He's fucking stunning from this angle, but you've found that he really doesn't have a bad angle.

"I'm gonna try something, ok? Tell me how it makes you feel." He says calmly.

"Aye Aye Captain." You say, earning a sweet little chuckle from Kiri.

Any motivation you have to joke is thrown out the window when he nips your sensitive skin. The brief pain sends a jolt of pleasure straight to your pussy, and your walls clench immediately.

"How was that?" He asks, hands running along your hips as he settles between your spread legs.

"More please." Is all you can squeak out.

Kirishima just smiles and kisses where he's just nipped.

"In a little bit baby."

You become suddenly aware of how exposed you are and you're plagued with thoughts of insecurity. As if he can read your mind, Kiri places a kiss to your inner thigh.

"Can I please taste you, your pussy is so fuckin pretty." He sighs against your skin.

Oh yeah, you have to be absolutely dripping. His words have you clenching around nothing, you're so worked up you're worried you might finish as soon as he makes contact with your core.

"Fuck- please Kiri- use your mouth on me." You moan, shocked by your own boldness.

"Oh good girl, keep talkin' to me." He sighs.

Without any further warning his mouth is just all over you. No gentle kisses around your clit like you expected, not teasing fingers on your lips. Just as sudden, blinding pleasure rocketing through your walls as his skilled tongue laps at your sensitive, swollen clit.

"Kiri! Shit!" You cry as your hands find a place in his hair, desperate to hold onto something that can keep you grounded.

"Baby, I'm too sensitive, I'm not gonna- oh fuuuuck." You try to warn him, but the words never stood a chance at leaving your mouth. In the middle of your sentence, he presses one thick finger into your slick hole, and that spells the end for you. With how big Kiri is, his finger might as well be the size of an average man's dick, and it feels incredible. You can't hold it in, and you don't fucking want to. Between the constant, white hot pleasure he's giving your clit, and the sudden intrusion of his finger, your inexperienced body never stood a chance.

"Fuck that was gorgeous." He huffs against your cunt.

Your walls flutter their way through your orgasm, warmth oozing into all of your appendages as Kirishima slows his tongue down enough for you to ride out all of the aftershocks.

You gather enough strength to look down at him, and your blissed out brain wants to shred the shirt he's wearing. Your hands reach down desperately to grab the collar of his shirt in an attempt to pull it off.

"Where'd my shy girl go?" He teases before helping you get rid of his bothersome clothes.

"She left when you made her cum in under a minute." You share a soft laugh with each other, but anything light-hearted disappears when you look down at his briefs and see the outline of his dick.

Kirishima isn't a small man, standing up he's roughly seven feet. You're a relatively average sized woman, but you still feel like a dwarf next to him. Judging by the outline in his underwear, he's definitely proportionate, and the terrifying realization that he's probably not even all the way hard yet makes your stomach drop.

"You want that?" He asks coyly, red eyebrows shooting up as he grins down at you.

"It- it's gonna hurt, isn't it?" You stutter, hands balling up the bedding underneath you.

"It's gonna sting just a little bit, but I told you I'll get you worked up, and it'll only last a second princess." He kisses your nose for reassurance, putting your bubbling chest at ease for a moment.

"Can I- um- can I touch you? Please?" Again, you want to kick yourself for sounding so bashful, but Kiri seems to be incredibly fond of it.

"Of course you can, wherever you want to." He whispers, he leans down to brace on his elbows, his breathtaking body closing the remaining distance between you two. With him looming above you like this, you feel absolutely tiny, like if he put his weight on you it might crush you. Something tells you tomorrow is probably going to consist of a lot of bed rest.

You cautiously slide your hands over his carved abs, adoring the way his muscles tense under your feathery touches. Your eyes stay locked on his and your heart blooms with exhilaration. Your hands travel down his body until your fingertips brush the waistband of his briefs. Kiri takes in a sharp breath when you dip your fingers under the material. You steal a glance down, and you can't help but let your jaw drop.

He's gotta be the size of your forearm, at least. Shit, how the hell are you gonna fucking take that? You remind yourself that Kiri promised it would only hurt for a second, that he would take care of you. You trust him, completely.

He helps you slide his briefs off, and when he's finally free it makes you see stars. His full length falls against your stomach, and he feels so damn heavy. His base is resting against your mound, and his head meets your belly button. His skin is nothing short of beautiful, soft pink tip with a pale shaft littered with veins.

"Holy shit." You pant, your hand looks pathetic when you go to wrap it around his swollen tip.

"It might sting more than a little." You whisper.

"I'll make it feel good, I promise." He says with all the confidence in the world.

He's so unbelievably hard and your hand can't reach all the way around him. There's about an inch and a half between your middle finger and thumb where they should meet. You never thought you'd be so intimidated by a simple body part, but then again, this is Red Riot you're dealing with.

Before you can stroke him, Kiri is grabbing your wrist as he shifts to lean on his side next to you.

"Next time angel, tonight's about you." He says before kissing the skin behind your ear.

His hand lets go of your wrist so he can skate his fingertips down your stomach. As soon as he brushes your clit your body jumps, still so sensitive from the sudden orgasm he's just given you. You take in deep breaths as your legs shift anxiously while he dips his fingers down so he can run them up your soaked lips.

"You're so wet for me." He sighs against your neck.

"Kiri- please- make me feel good again." You whimper, desperate for his touch.

"Gonna stretch you out a little bit, ok? Gotta get you ready to take me." He mumbles as he presses his middle finger into your quivering hole again.

There's no way you can respond, all ability to speak is stolen from you when he starts to pump his massive finger in and out of you.

There's no stretch with just one finger, it's no bigger than the toy you usually use on yourself, the stretch comes when he adds his index finger to the mix. It doesn't sting, but there's definitely some pressure. You screw your eyes shut and reach for his forewarn as he picks up speed, needing something to hold onto as the pleasure builds in your lower stomach again.

Then, the spectacular feeling of his thumb pressing against your clit makes you cry out. You're shocked by the broken moan that rips out of your throat, and the way your hips roll against his hand while he starts rubbing urgent circles against your sweet spot.

"That's it baby, tell me about it." He pants against your shoulder, it almost sounds like he's cheering you on, voice filled with something joyful that makes your heart race impossibly faster.

"Kiri- that feels so fucking good- shit."

Your cunt starts to pulse around him like it did a few minutes ago, your body is already right on the edge again by his capable fingers.

"D- da- Kiri." You moan, you almost fucking slip. You want nothing more than to call him 'daddy', that's what he is to you right now. You don't know how he'll respond to it, so you swallow the name and cry out against his broad chest.

He seems to have caught you though, both his thumb and his fingers pick up their speed slightly.

"Say it, please baby, say it- fuck." He begs against your head, offering you the room to call him whatever you want to.

Your hand claws at his arm, the other reaches up to hold onto his sweaty neck.

"Daddy, please make me cum again, your fingers feel so good." Your voice increases in pitch the more you beg, he sets a delicious rhythm then, reacting immediately to your pleas.

"You wanna be a good girl for me?" He asks as he shifts so his free hand can cradle your face.

You nod weakly as your abs starts to seize up and your core starts to clamp down on his pistoning fingers.

"Look at me." He huffs, your eyes flutter open to meet his.

Kirishima has a habit of knocking the wind out of you with his beauty, but he damn near kills you this time. He's positively enchanting with the blush on his cheeks, brows furrowed as he focuses on bringing you to your second orgasm.

"Cum for me one more time angel, then I'm gonna fill you up, gonna fuck your pretty little cunt." His voice is dripping with desire, and his vulgar words are all it takes to send you right into another trembling orgasm. Your body twitches and jerks as your core squeezes his fingers. He stops thrusting them into you and focuses all his energy on rubbing your clit with his thumb, making everything so much more intense.

You moan and shake against him as he whispers things like "good girl, just like that" against your ear while you come back down.

All you want is more, so much more. There's no such thing as nerves now. You have tunnel vision for Kiri and the pleasure he's giving you. Even after two orgasms, all you want is more, more, more.

"Daddy please- fuck my little cunt- fill me up like you promised." You grab at him wherever you can, you almost second guess your dirty talk, but Kiri eats that shit up.

"You sound so pretty begging for me princess. You want me to fuck you, huh? Want Daddy to make you cry?" Everything about his demeanor has a sense of urgency to it. Not like he's rushing, but like he's handling something vitally important.

You just nod and whimper, it's all you're capable of after being rocked by two incredible orgasms. He's moving so he can settle between your legs again, and his weighty length hits your stomach again.

"Listen to me sweetheart." He says, voice shaking slightly at the end.

"I'm gonna let you put it in ok? I want you to tell me when to move and when to stop, we can even stop here if you need to." He moves his hands to hold your face, thumbs brushing your cheek bones affectionately.

"I don't want you to stop, I want more Kiri, please." You say, completely confident in your decision to keep going.

"Then it's all you babygirl." He smiles down at you, all warmth and adoration.

You swallow thickly and reach down to grab his pink head, nearly drooling when you see the ridiculous amount of precum leaking out of his tip.

You tentatively spread it around with your thumb, the appendage barely stretches across the width of his massive cock. Kiri's breath speeds up above you as you move your hand around his head so you can push him down between your legs. Now, with a clear view of him, he's definitely the size of your forearm. Nerves are replaced by excitement, knowing that once he's inside you and your body adjusts to him, it'll feel absolutely amazing.

Kirishima shifts above you so he can brace on his hands as he placed them on either side of your face. All his intricate muscles shift under his pale skin, he's so broad and handsome, it makes your head spin.

With very little skill, you run his tip along you dripping lips, and both of you jolt as the erotic contact.

"That feels good baby, nice and slow." His words egg you on, a fuzzy feeling buzzes around in your chest when you hear him praise you, it's something else you just want more of.

His head teases over your silky hole as you slide him further down, his fingers definitely got you worked up, but it's still gonna be one hell of a tight fit.

"Can you- um- could you move your hips forward a little?" You ask with a shaking voice, your body is sparking with the anticipation of having him fill you, and you know he won't be able to slide in unless he helps by pushing.

"Want me to help you put it in?" He asks, his voice sounds so light and breathy.

"Please?" You blink up at him.

"Just keep talkin' to me, yeah?" He pants out.

"Ye- Oh fuck Daddy!" What's meant to be a quiet answer, turns into an erotic cry. Your body shivers as the name slips from your lips and your hands fly to his sides. He didn't give you a single second to respond before pressing himself into you, and it definitely hurts more than a little. The sting of the stretch is almost enough to make you tap out, but then you feel his thumb dragging against your clit again. It gives you just enough pleasurable relief to catch your breath.

"Sorry angel, had to get that part over with." He says before leaning down to kiss your forehead.

"Red, baby, please-" You choke on a moan when his thumb speeds up and he presses even more of his length into you.

"Please what?" He teases.

He can't even be a third of the way in, and you feel like you're completely stuffed. Your walls are being stretched to what feels like their absolute limit. Now you know why he gave you two orgasms beforehand, you need to be absolutely drenched in order to take him. Even then, it's almost impossible.

You glance down to see how much more you have to take. Fucking hell, it looks like it's just his head that's in.

"Tell me what you need, gorgeous." He applies slightly more pressure to your clit, but slows the pace down.

"More." You mewl, despite the pressure on your poor, tense insides.

"I'll tell you if it's too much, just keep going, please Daddy." Your hands paw at his back, desperate for him to move.

"Fuck baby- you're gonna be such a mess by the time I'm done with you."

You don't have any time at all to catch your breath or answer him. The sting is almost blazing as he pushes his hips towards yours. The dizzying sensation of his veiny cock dragging against your slick walls is enough to bring tears to your eyes. You whimper and sniffle beneath him while every muscle in your body tenses.

Then, you remember to breathe. You pull in a long, cooling breath, and on the release let your muscles relax. You look up at Kiri to see him looking down to where your bodies meet, mesmerized by the way he's splitting you open. He looks so wrapped up in his love for you, which only allows you to let go of more tension.

He keeps pressing into you, little by little pain is replaced by a warm ache, that warm ache then replaced by traces of something pleasurable. The hand pressing lazy circles into your clit slides up to grab your wrist. His bright eyes flash up to your as he brings your hand down to the bundle of nerves.

"Rub it for me, baby." He whispers before kissing your temple, his deep, rumbling voice makes your thighs squeeze his hips.

"O- ok." You fumble your words slightly.

"Is that how you answer Daddy?" He trails his open mouth down to the skin just above your collarbone, then teases the delicate skin with his pointed teeth.

Holy shit.

"Yes- yes sir?" You say, head spinning as you try to focus even a little bit. Your hand haplessly moves against your clit, wanting to listen but your motor skills are rendered useless by Kiri's dominance.

"Mhm, good girl." He praises before sinking his teeth into the spot he's been teasing.

Your entire body jumps, reacting exactly how he wants you to. All twitches and moans as he guides you through this.

"You're so fucking tight." He sighs, eyes fluttering shut as he pushes in just a little more.

"Well yeah, you're the size of a house and I'm a virgin." You say with a weak laugh.

If you and Kiri can do anything, it's laugh.

He looks down at you and raises his eyebrows, and he can't help but giggle in that beautiful chirpy way he always does. You take his hands in your face and bring him down for a messy, laugh filled kiss. Blinding love fills your chest, hearing him laugh, feeling him breathe, being this close. It's all giving you such unparalleled joy.

He breaks the kiss to press his forehead into yours, then he really starts moving. What started as another round of giggles turns into a moan as he stretches you more and more. Your hands grab onto his neck as your eyes screw shut and your head is thrown back into the pillows. The pressure is positively mind numbing in the best way. All you can feel, smell, and taste is Kirishima as he rocks your world.

“Fucking hell, Kiri.” You gasp before rolling your hips up against him, finally feeling somewhat stretched out enough to work with him.

“Oh now you’re gettin’ it, keep movin’ with me sweetheart.” He nods his head while he talks, urgent and reassuring.

He continues his glacial pace, finally bottoming out with the help of your needy hips rising to meet his. God, you feel so fucking full. You swear you can feel him in your stomach, in your ribs, in your throat even. He’s not leaving a single inch of you untouched, and you’re absolutely hooked. You gather yourself enough to open your eyes again so you can look down at where you two meet, almost nervous to find that he really isn’t all the way in even though you feel like you’re going to break at any second.

“Holy. Shit.” As soon as you glance down, your eyes meet the most erotic sight you’ve ever witnessed. There’s a large bulge in your stomach, that is very obviously caused by one thing. Kiri smirks above you as he runs a hand up your side so he can gather your breast in his hand and tease your nipple with his thumb.

“Ain’t that somethin’?” He muses, sliding his hand back down to grab your wrist so he can move your hand over the stretched out part of your stomach.

“Feels good doesn’t it baby? I’m right there, that’s all me.” He presses your hand into the bulge, and the feeling of his head under your skin, combined with the pressure on your cervix and against your walls, nearly sends you into another orgasm. Your walls flutter around him as your bottom lip quivers.

That’s when you see the tension in his body, you hear the strain in his voice. He’s holding back, he’s going easy on you.

Your walls are relaxing, growing used to the obscene stretch. You take a deep breath and focus on releasing any other muscles that might make it harder for him to do what he needs to. As you settle, you bat your eyelashes at him. You offer another small roll of your hips before egging him on with your needy words.

“Daddy, please, you’re not gonna break me, fuck me like you want to.”

He gives you a very serious, almost stern look. It doesn’t help ease your need for him in the slightest, it only makes you want to push more.

“I’ll tell you if it hurts, I promise, please just fuck me."

His whole body shivers when you run your nails across his shoulders.

"Baby you gotta, if you don't tell me I'm gonna keep rockin', I don't want to hurt you."

You nod and swallow thickly, your body is absolutely buzzing with the anticipation.

"Words sweet thing, use your words. You'll tell me if it hurts, yeah?" He brings his hips back, and the drag of his cock along your walls is exquisite. He only moves maybe an inch, but the tease sends you reeling.

"Yes Daddy, I'll tell you." Your promise is said so sweetly, the way you trust him so completely sends him over the edge.

Just like that, your entire world shatters. He pulls back slowly, just to send his hips flying forward with one brutal thrust. It doesn't hurt, but there's so much fucking pressure once he's all the way pressed in. Your head is sent back into the pillows, thrashing wildly as you cry out and cling to his tense back. He doesn't stay there long though, only pausing briefly to savor the feeling of being fully wrapped in your hot, wet cunt.

"Open those legs for me princess." Kiri pants above you as he pulls back again.

You realize how much you've tensed up after his words pull you back down to earth. Your thighs had clamped around his hips like a vice. Slowly, you breathe in, then drop your legs open when you breathe out.

Then he sticks to his promise, and he starts rockin'. He sets a beautiful pace, it's not rushed or hard, not slow or teasing, it's just fucking perfect. He plunges into you over and over, deep and persistent. He hits every sweet spot you have, from your sensitive opening to your aching cervix. You mewl and twitch under him, your whole body being jolted every time he bottoms out.

"You're doin' so good baby, bein' such a good girl for Daddy." His voice breaks as he picks up speed, splitting you open completely.

It's turning your brain to total mush, all you can manage is a half ass "uh-huh" while your body moves like a ragdoll. You feel so full, and it feels so fucking good. It's all so foreign, so much, so overwhelming. Now that you're feeling it though, the feeling of being well and truly fucked, all you want is more.

The pressure just keeps building at your core, brilliant and warm. Sending electric shocks down the nerves in your legs, up your stomach, even through your fingertips. He's everywhere inside you, filling your mind and soul, you're drunk on Kirishima and more than willing to become addicted.

You blink open and grapple at his damp sides, as soon as you see your body being pounded into the bed, you feel your walls begin to tighten. Can you even call it that? You're so stretched out by him it's hard to tell if you're even capable of tightening around him.

Kiri sure seems to notice though, letting out short, pretty moans from the back of his throat each time he sinks in. Then you both see it, your eyes lock on it, both under a perverted trance. Each time he thrusts all the way in, your stomach buldges out a little, his incredible size displacing your insides as he fucks into you.

"God that's- fuck baby- you see that?" He stutters out, placing his massive hand on your waist so he can lay his thumb over your stomach and feel his cock head poking out from inside of you.

All you can do is gawk up at him and let your body be jostled by him as he continues to break in your body.

"How's it feel angel?" He asks, voice gentle and coaxing.

"So. Good. Daddy- fuck." You stutter out, the words come out choppy, cut off as you jolt from his pace.

"You feel so perfect, so fucking perfect." He mutters before diving down to press his open mouth to your neck.

He attempts to kiss you there, but all he can manage is a sloppy, inconsistent tongue against your skin. With his mouth open, you can hear all his sweet moans unabashed, and it's fucking beautiful.

A particularly broken sounding moan reaches your ears as Kiri grabs the meat of your thighs with his strong hands, angling your legs upwards a little more. His hands slide up to secure themselves under your knees, pressing them upwards he successfully folds you in half.

The tops of your thighs press into your sides as he braces himself up a little more, using your crumbled body as leverage. The second he sinks in from this new position, your thighs tremble and your cunt spasms. You cry out as your hands fly to his abs, almost pushing him back, overwhelmed by the intensity.

Overwhelmed, but so enraptured. Tears prick your eyes as you watch every muscle of his ripple as he works hard to fuck you this relentlessly.

"Talk to me sweetheart, how's it feel?" He asks, voice strained and unsteady.

"Feels- so- fuckin- good- Daddy." You all but sob, blinking the tears from your eyes as your jaw drops.

"You're such a good little girl, you look so pretty on your back."

His words hit a nerve you didn't know you had. The filthy praise, the sounds of his hot skin slapping yours with each thrust, the crushing grip he has on you, it's all awakening something deep in your chest. More, you need more.

"M-more- fuck- please give me more- I'm so close." Is all you can manage as the tears start to fall, wetting your rosey cheeks.

"Shit- give it to me baby, let go, I'll fuck you through it, just let go." He eggs you on. One of his arms shifts to hook your knee over his elbow as he sets the other beside your head to brace himself.

As soon as he releases that one leg, bending the other up even more as his thumb gets to work drawing figure eights on your clit, it's fucking over. You shiver and sob and claw. The most spectacular sensation you've ever felt takes over your entire body.

It captures every inch of your skin, wrapping it in velvety ecstasy. Your nerves shatter like glass, sending shards of pleasure flying in every direction. You can feel it up your spin, in the backs of your legs, and deep down in your chest.

Your body goes limp as your walls pulse around him, and he sure does fuck you through it. Your head flops back as you take it all, cherishing every sharp hit to your abused cervix.

"Gimme one more princess, I'm almost there." He moans, pulling your brain out of its stew.

You blink up at him, finally realizing how hard you're crying. As soon as you make eye contact, your heart nearly flies out of your ribcage. He's so fucking beautiful. Brows drawn together in a look of pure determination, skin dewy and flushed, bright ruby eyes looking at you like you hung the stars.

"I love you- fuck Kiri- I love you, I love you, I love you." You babble, hands sliding up tangle in the hair at the back of his head.

His eyes flutter at the sensation, nearly rolling back into his head. Kirishima is a slut for gentle touches like that, a trait that makes your heart go all gooey.

"I love you so much more angel." He sighs, eyes full of fondness and what you can only describe as home.

He's still fucking going. Pounding into you just as before, and your cunt is somehow taking it so well. You feel made for him, nobody else.

"Poor baby." He says as he brings a hand up to your cheek to wipe some tears.

The slight mocking tone sets a fire in your belly, another feeling to add to the endless list of things you're learning about yourself tonight.

"Did Daddy fuck you too good? Can't help but fuckin' cry about it?" His voice is back to straining, shoulders drawing up again, like he's trying to hold back.

Oh hell no.

"Y- yes Daddy, fucked me so good, you ruined this little pussy." You shock yourself with the vulgarity of your words, almost embarrassed by it. It's short lived though, given the way Kiri huffs out a gorgeous, "oh fuck", as he buckels down on his thrust even more.

The sparks start to fire again as your nerves wind back up, not even fully recovered from your last orgasm.

The hand on your cheek twitches down, but halts once his thumb presses into your jaw. It all clicks when he looks into your eyes, a silent plea in them.

You don't waste a single second, nodding frantically as you seize his wrist. You bring his hand down so he can rest his palm against your throat.

"Please, I want it." You beg with a pathetic voice, sniffling at the end as more tears fall when you feel your walls start to contract again.

He looks almost relieved, eyebrows relaxing on his scrunched face as his shoulders drop. He tentatively presses his large thumb into your pulse before speaking with a harsh, authoritative voice. His hips slow only slightly, more rolling than thrusting now, but still just as deep, still just as jolting.

"If it's too much, at any point, you tap me three times, let me see you do it."

You offer three pats against the forearm of the hand on your throat, gazing up at him with pleading eyes, desperate for approval. Obviously, you've never done anything like this. Nothing even close, but with Kiri looking at you like you're made of porcelain, you'd trust him enough to try anything.

"Good fuckin' girl." His voice drops, a powerful, deep rumble as his hips start to work up speed again.

The hand teasing your throat starts to tighten, but not how you expect. There's little to no pressure on your actual throat, most of it is on the sides. His grip cuts off the blood flow enough to give you a wonderful, delirious feeling in your head. Your whole body reacts to the exhilarating sensation. You can't help but let out a strangled moan once Kiri reaches his previous pace once again.

He fucks into you so intently, chasing his own release now. Your muscles start to seize again, walls twitching as you moan out nonsense praises below him.

"Little baby likes bein' choked, huh?" He taunts, releasing his grip just enough for your head to fill up with clarity again.

Then it clicks, he's allowing you to respond, he wants you to.

"I do, I fuckin' love it." You assure him, your voice doesn't even sound like you anymore. All whiney and wanton, full of lust and desperation. That greedy feeling scratches at your insides again. It fills your chest with white hot need for something rougher, nastier, more shameful.

"Be mean to me, Daddy, make me your bitch."

It all happens so incredibly fast. Suddenly, Kiri fucking growls down at you as he rips himself from your overworked hole. The absence of his massive length makes you cry out, you want to argue but your words are stolen from you by his next move. His hands are on your waist in the blink of an eye. He flips you onto your stomach, the speed of the rotation makes you instantly dizzy.

He straddles the backs of your thighs. Rough, selfish hands slide up the backs of your thighs. He gathers the fat of your ass in his palms and squeezes, letting out a low chuckle when you jump at the harsh feeling.

"So, you wanna be my bitch?" He asks, the tone of his voice sends a chill down your spine. He sounds almost… sadistic?

You don't get a chance to answer before his palm cracks across your ass cheek.

You yelp and whip your head around to give him a pouting look as you wipe more of your tears. The sight of him makes your dripping pussy clench around nothing.

He's sat back on your thighs, almost lazily. He isn't truly sitting on you, though, he would absolutely crush you. He's just braced over you, one hand stroking his glistening cock as the other kneads as your plush ass.

You just nod as your hands stretch out in front of you, grasping at the pillows, the sheets, the headboard, anything you can get a hold of.

His eyes are wild, strands of scarlet hair stick to his forehead with sweat. His stunning, chiseled muscles all flex as he pumps himself. Seeing him like this, it hits that rebellious nerve. There's no such thing as first time nerves now, your Kirishima's bitch, and that's all you want to be.

"Please, give it to me Big Daddy." You bat your eyelashes and bring your thumb to your mouth so you can bite down on it.

His hand freezes, body rigid with what must be shock. The hand on your ass slides up your back at a torturous pace. Buzzing anticipation settles in your gut as he leans down so he can spread his finger through the hair at the back of your head. Gathering a handful, he tightens his grip so he can crank your head back.

The bite at your scalp distracts you just long enough for him to press his broad tip against your quivering hole again.

"You think you're cute, don't you?" He says, low and dangerous.

   You just blink at him, brain firing wildly to try and process every new addiction you're developing. Slowly, cautiously, you shake your head.

   "Oh but baby…" He leans down even more so he can press his lips under your ear. 

  "You are. You think you can say something like that and get away with it. It's adorable."   As he talks, he presses his length into you. You would think that after being fucked for so long that your hole would have been more prepared for him. You're so fucking wrong. The stretch is just like it was when he first put it in, but this time you're so ready for it, you welcome it.

  "When you talk like that, you're gonna get your shit rocked." He mumbles against your ear.

   You feel his hands at your hips, then you feel him hoist you up so your ass is in the air and your face is in the pillows. Then, all you feel is a shockwave of pleasure as he rams into you from behind. Within seconds, he has you squirming and screaming as he decimates your cunt over and over again.

   The hand buried in your hair pulls your head to the side so you can moan out into the air instead of into the pillows.

   "What are you?" He asks, the hand that isn't in your hair snakes around your waist so he can bring your torso up and press your back against his chest.

   The action has you reeling, because your knees lift off the bed in order for you to be high enough to be fucked in this position. That's not a problem for Kiri though, he easily holds you up with the arm around your waist. Your legs dangle as he falls forward, other hand leaving hair so he can brace on the headboard.

   "Daddy asked you a question." He pants against your ear. Hips still snapping into you impossibly fast.

   "I'm your bitch- fucking hell- I'm your little bitch." You cry out, tears falling as one arm flies to hold the back of his neck as the other grabs at the arm around your waist.

   His fingers bite your side as he sinks his teeth into your shoulder. He moans as he soothes the mark with his hot tongue. 

  "That's right, you like it don't you? You like bein' a little cry baby for this fucking cock. Don't you baby?" His words are dripping with the most sinful tone, even without any attention to your clit, your cunt starts to dance around him once again. Just his voice, his voice and his nasty praises are enough to start another fucking orgasm.

   "Oh I fuckin felt that- You really do want me to be mean, huh?"

   "Please- oh fuck- please, Daddy, please!" You sob.

  "'Please, Daddy, please.'" He says with a mocking tone, "I told you to use your words, brat." That does it, "brat", something clicks within you. It fills you with a sticky, sweet feeling. It's something more intriguing than anything else you've felt. Whatever the feeling  is, you're absolutely starving for more of it.

   "Use me, please, use my little hole, let me feel you cum." You finally conjure a reply, digging it up from your newly found well of obscene phrases.

   "Shit, princess, I'm gonna- fuck-"

   Your filthy words seem to be enough to send him into a frenzy. Again his hands are on your waist, pulling out just long enough to flip you onto your back before he plunges back into you after your back hits the mattress.

   He's so rough and fast now, all desperate, harsh hands as he fucks and fucks and fucks.

   "Look at me, fucking look at me." He grabs your jaw, eyes full of feral desire.

   "I'm gonna fill you up, you're gonna take all of it aren't you? 'Cause you're a good little slut." He commands before letting his other hand fly to your clit as you nod and stutter out promises that you'll do as he says.

   As soon as his fingers start rubbing, your body seizes. Your eyes stay on his, nails scratching down his back as you cry and shake and writhe.

   "That's it- fuck yeah- that pussy's gonna make me cum- you're gonna make me fuckin' cum- SHIT!" His voice breaks at the end, a crackling shout as his hips falter and he sinks all the way into your silky walls.

   Your eyes stay locked on each other's, he drops his forehead onto yours. The hand grasping your jaw moves to cup your face, his other hand coming up to mirror it so he can cradle your head.

   This orgasm is much softer than the others, all fuzzy and warm as it oozes through your limbs. Kiri rolls his hips into you as his cock spits hot cum deep inside of you. You both shutter and moan, hands loosening you finally feel him fill you up. Something you should have probably expected, is just how much he cums. He pulses again and again and again as your walls massage him. He fills you so much that he leaks out around himself, inevitably ruining the sheets beneath you both.

   The feeling is foreign, briefly uncomfortable, but it quickly becomes a comfort. As your bodies calm, his hips still with one final gush into you. His thumbs rub your cheeks, wiping the remaining tears.

   "You ok?" He asks with a scratchy, tender voice.

   "Perfect, baby, that was perfect." You sigh as you pull him down for a kiss.

   It's slow and feather soft, your lips work so reverently against each other, thankful for everything you've both shared.

   He inches his hips back so he can pull his softening length out of you. Both of you shiver once he's all the way out, then you feel the mess he made inside you spill onto the bed.

   "I should probably go get cleaned up…" You say as your cheeks heat, not at all prepared for what happens after something so intense.

   He just looks at you like you're growing a second head.

   "Princess, I'm gonna take care of that." He assures you.

   Before you can argue, he's got you scooped up into his arms. He carries you off to the bathroom, completely abandoning the wreck you've left on your bed. You wrap your legs around his waist the best you can and bury your face into his neck. You feel strangely dependent and needy. You suppose that must be normal after something like that.

   Once you're in the bathroom, he steps into the shower. He secures you with one arm around your waist so he can flip the water on with the other.

   You try to ease yourself down from him, but the second you move your legs you're made aware of the powerful ache in your center. Standing might not be an option right now, or tomorrow.

  "I gotcha, baby, don't worry." He says before kissing your temple.

   You don't answer, just hold onto him nuzzle into his strong chest.

   The shower is filled with gentle kisses and an abundance of sugary words. He tells you how well you did, thanks you for trusting him, kisses the parts that hurt. He makes you feel so explicitly loved, so abundantly cherished. It feels your heart with syrupy fondness. It's all so blurry, but all so distinct. Every soothing touch as he washes you lures you further and further into a state of complete relaxation. He puts lotion all over you afterwards, making sure he's careful with the tender spots. Soon you're wrapped in a plush towel, perched on the counter as he combs your damp hair.

   You let out a long sigh at the cathartic feeling, then lean forward to kiss collar bone. You rest your chin on his chest and look up at him. You snake your arms around his waist and pull his huge frame between your legs. He sets the comb down before bringing his hands up to hold the sides of your head.

   "You're my sweet girl, you know that right?" He says, his voice barely above a whisper.

   You nod and give him a soft "mhm" as you press your lips into the opposite collar bone.

   "Words please?" He asks, gentle and guiding.

   Your brain is still so incredibly foggy, you're having a horrible time trying to scrounge up any coherent phrases.

   One of his hands slides down the side of your face until it settles under your jaw, with the pad of his thumb against your chin and his index finger under your jaw, he tilts your head up so you have to meet his eyes.

   "What are you?" His eyebrows raise slightly, eyes full of adoration.

   "I'm your sweet girl." You somehow manage the admission with a hoarse voice.

   "Perfect, don't ever forget that." He kisses the top of your head then, breathing in as he pulls you against him even more.

   You love Kirishima, and he loves you. You both feel it in your bones. He has all of you now, and you feel like you have all of him. Regardless of past sexual experience, you've both given each other something new to cherish and learn about.

    "Let's get you to bed." He says before attempting to scoop you up again.

   "Uh- Kiri?" You say, pressing your hands to his chest to stop him.

  "Hm?"

   "I'm kinda hungry…" You admit, suddenly aware of the gnawing in your belly.

   He looks down at you for a brief second, an amazed look dances in his eyes before he throws his head back to let out a rich laugh.

   "Burgers, and then bed?" He asks fondly, head tilting down to kiss your forehead.

   "Oh fuck yeah." You say excitedly, the promise of a big nasty burger makes you giddy.

   It's not long before you're sat next to Kiri at a booth in your favorite burger joint. One heavy arm draped over your shoulders, the other holding a massive cheeseburger. You sit comfortably dressed in one of his hoodies, it falls all the way to your knees, drowning your body in fabric that smells like him.

   He takes one, huge, messy bite out of his burger. Lettuce and condiments flops onto his plate as you carefully bite your own.

  "You're an animal." You giggle up at him.

   He considers your statement as he chews, then leans down next to your ear once he's swallowed.

   "You like it." He whispers.

   Your spine goes rigid and blush heats your cheeks. Of course nobody heard, only a few others out at this hour, but you can't help but glance around the diner to make sure.

   You slap his arm and pout up at him.

  "That's not fair." You protest, but you can't help the smile that spreads when you see him beaming at you with all his pointy teeth on display.

   The rest of the night is spent full of laughter and teasing over milkshakes. You eventually wind up back home, tangled in bed together. After a change of bedding of course. You press yourself into Kirishima as much as you possibly can, though you'd both be content to melt into each other if it were possible. As you drift off, you thank your lucky stars for the man holding you, for the safety he provides, for such a dazzling first time. You're glad you waited, you'd do it again, you'd do it forever if it meant you could share it with Kirishima.     

[divinerulerluvr]

Womanizer

Summary - Warren Lipka picks you up after studying to have some fun and buy time.

Warnings - basic smut with a bit of a pain kink, breeding kink, that's the main things idk what else to advise you about.

A/N - I feel we need more warren shit on tumblr since he is arguably one of Evan's best characters outside of ahs. this fic has nothing to do with the plot of American animals so no spoilers ahead.

- - -

Warren’s car comes speeding down the road, skidding to a stop where i stand on the sidewalk.The window was rolled down, letting me see his pretty face. “Hiya there, stranger,” he jokes, a smile on his lips.

Chuckling, i walk around the car and get into the passenger side. It was late at night and i had just finished studying for my exam on Monday and who better to call at two in the morning on a Friday than Warren?

The moment I had buckled my seatbelt, Warren drove off. He always drove like he was in a car chase. It scares me sometimes but we’ve never been pulled over or gotten into a crash.

His music plays loudly, only making him drive faster. He tends to get lost in the moment. “What were you studying this time?” he asks, looking over to me as he pulls up to an abandoned intersection at a stoplight.

“The uh, Stonewall Riot of 1969,” I answer, looking over to meet his eyes. My minor was in Social Justice so of course, the Stonewall Riot was a topic we’d talk about. “Cool. That chick who was like, the leader of the riots was cool,” Warren replies, driving again when the hue of the green light filled the dark car.

I just nod, looking out my window. It was late at night so not a lot of people were out on the roads. The occasional drunk person or car was all you could spot. “Where do you wanna go?” he asks me.

It was always a dreaded question. Warren knew this, that’s why he always hesitated to ask. Sometimes he’d just drive around with no destination in mind because we had nowhere to go or be. I never wanted to go home and neither did he.

“I don’t know,” I say with a heavy sigh. Warren pulls into an abandoned parking lot, screeching the car to a stop and putting it in park. He grabs something out of the cup holder and I see he holds a joint.

He lights it, inhaling it first before offering it to me. “I stopped smoking weed,” I turn down. Warren smiles, a look of playful shock in his eyes. “My god, Y/n. Repenting, I see,” he jokes, taking another hit on the joint.

“I hope you don’t think you’re better than me now,” he comments, leaning back in his seat. He turns down the music a bit, silencing ‘Piano Man’ by Billy Joel. “How's college?” Warren asks me, his eyes studying my face.

The only source of light was from the dim street lamp that Warren had parked next to. I shrug, my lips pressed together. “Fine. Stressful but I can handle it,” I answer, resting my head back on the seat.

“You look tired,” Warren notices, his eyes evaluating my face like I was some complex math equation. I chuckle weakly. “Thank you for that,”

“College is bullshit, anyway. All the famous and rich people dropped out of high school. Let alone graduated college,” Warren tries to comfort. “All you need to succeed is money and charisma. And to be honest, Y/n, you’re already halfway there,”

I turn my head to look at him, a small smile spreading on my lips. “You think I’m charismatic?” I ask. Warren nods, exhaling smoke from his joint out of his rolled-down window. “Charisma is mostly how attractive you are and the other half is being nice so, yeah,”

“That is the nicest thing I think you have ever said, Lipka,” I say, almost surprised by his compliment. He chuckles, shaking his head as he looks away from me. “The weed makes me nice,” he excuses.

“I have to agree,”

“You are very pretty though,” Warren states, his voice lowered with affection. I turn my head back to face him, seeing the forlorn look in his dark eyes as he looks at me. “You’re pretty, too,” I compliment in return, reaching out and twirling a strand of his shaggy, brown hair around my finger.

Warren places his hand on my thigh in return, his eyes heavy on mine as his thumb rubs small circles on my inner thigh. “Third hookup of the month?” Warren suggests.

“That’d be the last one and it’s only the sixteenth,” I reply. He and I had this rule that since we were friends with benefits that we got three hookups a month. It keeps order in our friend group. Warren sighs, a look of disappointment on his face. “So?”

I roll my eyes playfully, feeling his hand creep further up my thigh and closer to my core. “Fine,” I say as if I were tired of arguing but in reality, I really wanted it as well. He leans over the center console of the car, his lips locking with mine without hesitation.

Kissing back, my fingers tangle in his hair as his fingers rub my clit lightly through the fabric of my pants. I moan into the kiss, my free hand going to his dick and palming him through his jeans.

Warren pulls from the kiss first, his eyes dark with lust and his cheeks red. “Backseat,” he instructs vaguely. With a simple nod, I crawl into the backseat, already taking off my leggings and tee shirt as he joins me in the backseat.

I help him take off his shirt, running my hand up his toned torso, feeling his warm skin. He does the same to me, his hand running down my bare leg. He lays me across the seats, pulling my panties off in one clean motion before settling between my legs.

Our lips meet again, my hands on his face to deepen the kiss. The kiss was hot and desperate. Sex with him was always like this. Like he was going to die if he didn’t fuck me in the next five minutes.

Warren was a very impatient man. Which causes for hot and oh so unholy sex.

His hand travels down between our bodies, slipping under my bra and playing with my breasts. I arch my back, my moans silenced by his lips. The car was already getting hot, causing a thin sheen of sweat to break out on our skin.

My hands go to his pants out of habit, undoing the zipper to his jeans easily. Pulling them down, I pull back the waistband to his boxers to let his dick out. I feel him smile into the kiss, impressed with my eagerness. He didn’t even have to make a snide comment about it, I just knew he was thinking it.

His hands move down my body, stopping at my hips where he holds me in place so he can push into me. His lips leave him, his eyes admiring the way my mouth falls agape as I feel his dick inside of me.

My legs wrap around his waist, my nails digging into the skin of his shoulder blades as he bottoms out inside me. He pushes some hair out of my face, stalling any movements to help me adjust.

“You look so pretty with me inside of you, pup,” he says, his lips grazing over mine in a taunting way. I whimper, a shudder running through my body as he moves his hips just so slightly. “Oh, you want more?” he asks teasingly.

I nod eagerly, giving him my best puppy dog eyes to hopefully make him cave. He runs his thumb over my lower lip before pushing it into my mouth. I gladly accept it, sucking on his thumb as he pulls his hips back and thrusts into me roughly.

I screw my eyes shut, my walls clenching as Warren sets a fast and relentless pace right away. My wetness made it easy for him, as he likes to say. Any noises I made were muffled by his thumb in my mouth.

My stomach tightens in knots as pleasure floods over me. Warren pulls his thumb from my mouth, his eyes on mine as he admires his work. Tears gather in my eyes, my skin hot to touch. He caresses my cheek, his hand falling down to my neck where he drags his nails down my neck and trails down to my breasts.

A whimper falls from my lips, my hips bucking to meet his as he continues to fuck me into oblivion. “Warren,” I moan weakly, my voice dripping with submission.

A groan leaves his lips, his eyes closing briefly as he indulges in his own pleasure. “You feel so good, baby. You’re such a good girl,” he praises, his words sending more arousal through my body.

I run my fingers through his hair, our eyes locked. Warren loves to keep eye contact during sex. Says that seeing the look on my face was better than the sex itself.

Already close to my orgasm, Warren runs his hand between our bodies, his fingers locating my clit effortlessly and rubbing slow circles on it to double my pleasure. I moan out, my eyes falling shut again as I bask in the feeling.

Warren removes his hand from my clit, moving to snake under my back so he could flip me around so we were now in doggy style. He quickly resumes his thrusts, hitting deeper inside of me than prior.

I rest my hand on the fogged-up window for stability, my head thrown back. Warren’s fingers tangle in my hair, pulling a handful of it. I cry out weakly, his grip on my hair being painful. Using my hair as leverage, he leans back as he fucks me roughly.

Right on the edge of an orgasm, I hold back knowing that Warren liked to make sex last due to my three times a month rule.

Using every ounce of willpower to repress my orgasm, my walls clench around his dick tightly. “Aww, is my baby gonna cum?” Warren asks in a mocking tone, just his mere words making me want to give up my fruitless battle.

I just nod, a pathetic moan leaving my lips as his fingers dig into my hips. “Go ahead, I give you permission,” he allows. With a sigh of relief, I give up everything and let the pleasure take over. With one last cry of his name, I’m falling apart.

The only way to explain an orgasm from Warren was like being able to sit down after running for days and days on end.

My entire body shakes and I find myself relying on his grip on my hips to keep me up. Soft pants leave my lips as my ears ring, my eyes screwed closed as pressure from my veins releases itself all at once.

Warren fucks me through my orgasm, leaving me a shaky mess as he cums inside of me. Ceasing his thrusting, he carefully pulls out of me, running his finger through my soaked slit to admire his work.

Panting, I sit back down on the seat, pulling my panties back on. “Shit. I gotta get to a bathroom now,” I huff, suddenly very aware of how uncomfortable having his cum in me would be. Warren smiles charmingly, shrugging. “Everything’s closed,”

I sigh, getting back into the front seat and pull on the rest of my clothes. Warren follows behind me, pulling his shirt back on as he puts the car into drive. I lean back in my seat, still catching my breath as Warren skirts out of the dark parking lot and onto the main road.

“Just don’t tell my boyfriend, ‘kay?”

“As always, friend,”

[gubler-me-up]

Face It

Request: Are your request still open? I have a really smutty dom!spence idea soo spencer is facefucking the reader while she is on her knees with her hands tied too. Reader starts rubbing herself against the heel of her foot because she’s impatient and spencer notices this and punishes her. He’ll call reader names (but only if you are okay with writing degradation!)

A/N: Thanks for submitting this request, anon! Like I said before y’all be real creative with these requests I love it. Y’all have some really ~spicy~ concepts and I hope I bring them to life for you every time. Sit back, relax and enjoy dom Spence to the fullest!

Couple: Dom!Spencer/Sub Fem!reader

Category: Smut (NSFW 18+)

Content warning: Swearing, rough oral sex (male receiving), masturbating (male and female), degradation, fingering, slapping, facial

Word count: 2k

————-

Spencer sat on the bed as he watched you take off the last piece of clothing you had on. He wanted to watch you carefully as you undressed for him. He didn’t want you to touch yourself or even touch him. He just wanted to see you strip. It was enticing to say the least especially since he was still fully clothed. It felt as if you were giving him a show at a strip club after he had finished a long day at work.

He looked you up and down as you stood in front of him. He looked at both your hands which were flopped by your sides. He looked back up at you with still no expression to indicate his next move but once he reached for his tie you knew. He didn’t even have to tell you anything before you turned around.

You placed your hands behind your back and waited. You soon felt him wrap his tie around your wrists. He made sure it was tight so you wouldn’t be tempted to touch him or yourself. It could get a bit irritating when he retrained you from using your hands but when it was only the two of you in the bedroom you surrendered all control over to him.

He slipped his fingers into the gap between your wrists and his tie. He jerked you back and you stumbled backward barely keeping your balance. You could hear a soft yet dark chuckle come from him. Your breathing increased as he stood up and pressed his body against you. He grabbed your chin and jerked it to the side so he could get a good taste of your neck as he kissed it all the way up to your ear.

He roughly played with your left nipple by squeezing it in-between his index and middle finger. You let out a long moan as you tilted your head back. He hadn’t even gone full dominant on you and you were already falling into extreme submission from his touch.

“I’ve trained my whore well,” he whispered in your ear.

“Yes you have, sir,” you replied.

“You know I like my whores fucking filthy and needy for my dick,” he whispered.

“I know, sir,” you replied.

“So I’m going to face fuck you and you’re going to swallow every ounce of my cum. Do you understand, whore?” He asked.

“Yes, sir, I do,” you replied.

He removed his hand from your breast. You soon felt the sting of a slap on your ass. You silently gasped so he didn’t hear you. If you reacted too loudly to him spanking your he wouldn’t hesitate to deprive you altogether.

“Get into your whore sucking position,” he demanded.

You immediately turned around and dropped to your knees. Your eyes looked up to him but you kept your mouth straight with your mouth gaped open. His darkened eyes sent chills down your spine and made you increasingly wet. You could hear him unbuckle his pants and then the sound of them dropping to the floor.

You stared at him with anticipation in your eyes. Your mouth started to become a bit dry as it waited for his dick to enter it. You were tempted to lean forward and try to engulf him whole but again you would get punished for it. The last possible thing you wanted to do was have him leave you high and dry for the night.

He grabbed your hair and finally shoved your mouth onto his dick. He tilted his head back as he let out a relieved groan. He held your head still and slowly started to buck his hips forward. You tried your best not to gag on his dick so early but it was always hard to do considering half of it took up your mouth.

“That’s a good cock sucking whore,” he said.

He started to buck his hips faster as you tried your best to take all of him. You wanted to be the best whore he’s ever had. By the look of sheer bliss on his face you believed you were being just that for him. He looked down at you. He licked his lips as he watched you repeatedly take his cock in your mouth.

“That’s how my whore takes cock,” he said.

You moaned a ‘yes’ before he kicked up his speed. You gagged as he adjusted his speed but you soon got used to it. You let the saliva dribbling from your mouth drip onto your breasts as he continued to shove his cock to the back of your throat.

You watched him ease his head back again as he lost himself to the feeling of your mouth on his dick. You had to admit the combination of his dick ramming into your mouth and seeing him lost in his pleasure made you jealous. You wanted to experience some pleasure as well.

You watched him carefully before you made any move. Even though he had tied your hands behind your back it wasn’t going to stop you from pleasuring yourself. You continued watching him to see if he was going to lower his head. You waited for a minute to see if he made the slightest move. He didn’t.

You slowly lowered yourself down so the heel of your feet was right under your pussy. You continued to look at him to see if he was going to look down. He didn’t. You took that as your cue to pleasure yourself.

You slowly moved your pussy against your heel so you could start rubbing it. You moaned out of relief as you fell into the pleasure of finally being stimulated. You relaxed your muscles as you continued to rub yourself against your heel. You never knew you could be this desperate for touch but he left you with no choice.

As you continued you closed your eyes to imagine Spencer rubbing his fingers up and down your folds. You then imagined two of his long fingers inside of you and rubbing them against your g-spot. He was so good at making you cum that way. The pure thought of what he could do to you with just his fingers made you even wetter.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Spencer said.

He swiftly pulled you by your hair to get your mouth off his dick. You looked at him with wide eyes, breathing heavily as you completely stopped rubbing yourself on your heel. He grabbed you by your face and squeezed your jaw tightly as he stabilized your focus on him. He looked furious and you knew exactly why.

“What were you doing?” He asked again.

“Rubbing my pussy against my heel, sir,” you answered.

He slapped you on your cheek before grabbing your face again. You knew that was just the beginning of your punishment. You knew exactly the type of punishment you would get for your crime. The look in his eyes sealed your fate as he looked down at you unimpressed by your mischievous behaviour.

“You couldn’t stop being a bad whore for a second, could you?” He asked before slapping you again.

You didn’t respond. You just stared up at him speechless as you thought about the right response to say. You couldn’t think of anything that would salvage what you had already done.

“Huh?” He said.

“No, I couldn’t stop being a bad whore, sir,” you replied.

“Get up and turn the fuck around,” he demanded.

You immediately got to your feet and turned around. He untied his tie from around your wrists. He then grabbed your arm to turn you around to face him. He grabbed your face and pulled you close to him, leaving minimal space between the both of you. You held your breath as you anticipated what he was about to say next.

“I’m not going to fuck you tonight. A whore like you doesn’t deserve my dick in your pussy. I want you to finger yourself until you cum. I want you to finger yourself so hard you drop to your knees and beg for my forgiveness. Understood, whore?” He asked.

“Yes, sir,” you said.

He pushed your face back. You stumbled backward but regained your balance quickly so you could start what he asked you to do. You spread your legs apart and inserted two fingers into yourself. You motioned your fingers in a “come here” movement. You could already feel your knees becoming weak.

You looked at Spencer looking at you carefully. His eyes were penetrated on the way you fingered yourself. He stepped out of his pants and pushed them aside with his foot without breaking eye contact from you fingering yourself.

“You finger yourself like a fucking saint. I want to see how a whore fingers herself for being bad,” he demanded.

You decided to switch up your rhythm by pumping your fingers in and out of you and then going back to the “come here” motion. Doing that made your knees extra weak and your pussy wetter. You looked at him stroke his dick as he watched you struggle to keep yourself up.

“Don’t you dare fucking stop either, you whore. I want you on your knees,” he said.

You had to please him. You needed to please him. You continued your pattern as you watched him jerk himself off. You started to have thoughts run by your mind again. You thought about how good a feeling it would be to have his cum dripping down your face. How he would call you a pretty whore for wearing his cum proudly on your face.

Your knees started to get even weaker and you kneeled on the floor. You could feel your orgasm creeping up on you. The tingle up and down your spine alerted you it was almost time. You watched as he walked closer to you so his dick was right in your face.

“I don’t hear your filthy whore mouth begging for forgiveness,” he said.

“P-please forgive…m-me for being a bad whore, s-sir,” you stuttered as you tried to restrain your orgasm.

“Don’t stop,” he said.

“Please forgive m-me for b-being bad, sir. I’m j-just a dirty w-whore,” you stuttered.

“Is your whore pussy worn out?” He asked.

“Y-yes,” you said.

“Don’t cum until you tell me what you’re not going to fucking do again,” he said.

“I won’t fucking do it again,” you promised.

“You won’t?” He questioned.

“No, I fucking won’t. I promise I’ll be a really good whore next time, I swear,” you said.

He smirked. “You’re desperate to cum, aren’t you?”

“Fucking yes,” you said.

“Then cum, whore,” he said.

He didn’t have to finish his sentence before your orgasm shot through your body. You let out a loud moan as you let your legs shake as it passed through your system. You closed your eyes as you took a few seconds to recollect yourself.

Before you opened your eyes you heard Spencer gasp deeply. What proceeded was the feeling of his cum on your face. You opened your eyes to look at his dick which had freshly ejaculated. You licked the remaining cum off of it like the good whore you were. You then looked up at him to see a small smile appear on his face.

“You’re such a pretty whore when you’re covered in my cum,” he complimented.

You smiled. “Does that mean you’ll fuck me next time?”

He chuckled. “If you behave next time I for sure will.”

He grabbed you by your face and leaned down to make out with you. You grabbed him by his neck to bring him deeper into it. He soon let you go however and looked at your face for a long second. He softly chuckled.

“Maybe next time won’t be so far away. I’ll get you all cleaned up and fuck you like the whore you want to be. Sound fair?” He asked.

You beamed a wide smile. “Yes. More than fair.”

He chuckled. “I love my whore.”

You smiled. “I love you too, sir.”

—–

MASTERLIST

Tagged: @shadyladyperfection, @slutforthegubes, @pinkdiamond1016, @spencerreidsthings, @itsmyblogandillreblogifiwantto, @slutforsr @bxtchboy69, @fallinallinmendes @haihappen5 @mgg-theprettiestboy @siltuz-png @ptrs-prkrs @tclaerh @agentadhd @alexmarie29 @closetedreidstan @mac99martin @blxckhearthood @jesspavlik0vsky @katexrichardson @keniaasf @reidbuck @corishirogane3 @thegoddamncrazycatlady @keniaasf @pastelbabygirl19 @shadybagelsludgecolor @bootycrackraisinjuice @vintagebeauty1496 @laneybobeczko-g @littlewierdalien @cynbx 

[soliavenne]

Between Naked Souls - 1 (Gaara x Reader R-18 Fanfiction)

Hiii, everyone! :) <3 This long fic had been my baby since early September. It took really long, but I think a part of me is in agreement that this story really needed that amount time to develop, and I'm really proud and happy of what it has resulted to. This work really means the world to me. It had exhausted me beyond measure but I have really fallen in love with it.

Warning: NSFW work ahead.

Word count: 26.6k (I know, self-control is not my best suit.)

I hope you enjoy! <3 

Cover art by yours truly. 

---

Gaara jolted awake with a choked gasp; the clawing sensation down his now hoarse throat as the strain caused by unintelligible growls for help that has been leaving his mouth for the past twenty minutes began to catch up with his dawning consciousness. He propped his elbows behind his back, his chest heaving up and down heavily as he tried to chase his breath. He continued to shift backwards until he felt the headboard press against his back in support to his weakening composure. Gaara brushed his forearms across his forehead, making him wince when he raked his fingers down his now, sweat-dampened hair. He really wasn’t able to conjure images just yet as his eyes were still adjusting to the almost pitch black darkness of his room, so he gasped in shock when he felt something touch the back of his hand, with his head automatically shooting towards the direction in which the surprising gesture came from.

“Hey…” Your voice croaked, followed by a yawn as you rubbed your knuckles against your eyes. “Gaara? Are you awake?” You slowly sat up, swinging your body towards the side of the bed to reach for the lamp above the nightstand. After turning it on, you returned your attention towards Gaara, whose chest was still heaving up and down, with his face angled towards the ceiling; eyes glued shut, skin pale and sweaty. Your blood ran cold out of panic, as his current state was unraveled to you. You quickly grabbed a fist of the blanket before throwing it out towards the floor to give him some air. The amount of concerned queries that rambled down your mouth without any sense of halting any time soon was cut short when Gaara placed his hand above yours, giving it a firm squeeze to snap you out of your agitated daze.

“Y/N,” Gaara breathed out as he was still trying to stabilize his panting. “there’s nothing to worry about...”

You leaned over towards Gaara, your knees pressed down against the mattress. You reached out for him and placed a palm against his forehead. “What do you feel, Gaara? Do you feel sick?”

“No,” Gaara let out a deep sigh as he crossed his arms against his stomach; palms sluggishly rubbing up and down his arms in hopes of calming the chills enveloping his body. “it’s just… another nightmare.”

Your eyes went soft at what you heard, and over the very sight that that was happening before you. He only had little to no time that was reserved so that he could take a proper rest, yet even that was being robbed away from him. You couldn’t help it, your stomach continued to drop in a bottomless pit of pity, as it felt like you could almost sense every fiber of fatigue and exhaustion from your lover.

Gaara doesn’t deserve any of this.

“Tsk,” Gaara groaned, as his head started to throb in pain. He pressed the pads of his index and middle finger against his opposite temples, massaging it in circles to alleviate the pulsing pain. “I’m sorry.” He sighed. “I didn’t mean to wake you up like that… I’m so sorry, my love.”

“Hey…” Your voice softened at him, as you reached out for the side of his face so that you could redirect it towards yours. “you have nothing to apologize for, okay?” You stroked his cheek as you smiled reassuringly before him. “None of this is your fault, Gaara.”

Another worn out sigh ripped from his chest. Gaara held your hand that was placed against his cheek, caressing it with his thumb before leaning his lips towards your palm to kiss it gently. “I will be alright, Y/N. You have nothing to be concerned about.”

“Well, that’s too bad… I’m kinda’ bound to be always concerned about you no matter what.” You chuckled at him, eliciting a small smile from your lover in return. You ran your fingers through his locks, a little surprised when you felt how soaking wet it was. “You’re so sweaty right now, Gaara. Let me grab some towel and water, alright?”

There was a sight of a slight pout on Gaara’s lips, his gaze anywhere but in direct contact with yours. “Stay…”

Your hand on his cheek travelled down his shoulder, and down on his hand, giving it a soft squeeze to ease him down a bit. “But you might suffer from colds if I let you go back to sleep like that, Gaara.” He seemed like he was about to speak another word, but he nodded in agreement after a minute of silence. You stood up from the bed, opening the closet and rummaging through his clothes before grabbing another pair sleeping garments for your lover; placing it on top of the mattress. Prior to walking straight towards the door, you went towards Gaara, who was now watching you from his side of the bed. You ushered his face closer towards yours by both sides of his jaw, before pressing a soft kiss on his forehead. “I won’t take long, I promise.”

“Promise?” Gaara mumbled, his soft voice feeling like he was tugging on your heartstrings.

“Yes, Gaara. I promise.” You smiled at him once again. “I will be back.”

The subtle sound of your footsteps echoed throughout the corridor as you walked towards the kitchen. Despite how dim it was, you somehow knew exactly where to walk through to get towards the switch; as it finally seems like you have already memorized the layout of Gaara’s house over the course of time you have spent inside it.

Gaara was indeed a busy man, he was the Kazekage of the village after all. He rarely comes home, as he never really found any reason to stay inside his house all by himself when he could just be doing paperwork instead inside his office. It did change, though, when the two of you had started dating one another. After a year of being together, Gaara finally invited you over to his house, and you swore that the whole vibe that it radiated off was as if his house was recently furnished, and was finally in commercial to be sold. It was spotlessly-clean, from up the ceiling, down the floor; a little monotonous and plain if you were to be honest; not entirely homey, as expected from someone who doesn’t really live much inside his own home; a decision with a much more deeper reason that you have just been recently informed of when Gaara offered you to stay with him for the meantime while you were looking for a new apartment to move in.

When you started living with Gaara, he offered you the luxury of having his bedroom to yourself, which something you disagreed wholeheartedly with. There was no way you were going to let him sleep on the couch when the two of you could fit snugly on top of his bed. The only thing that made you agreed to his proposition was when he said that he wasn’t ready to share a bed just yet; so as much as you wanted to tell him it was more than okay for you to sleep beside one another, the last thing you wanted was to put pressure on him.

It was when you woke up in the middle of the night to drink water, when you found him sitting alone in the couch in a sleepy daze, his elbows pressed on top of his thighs with his face buried into his hand. His hair was disheveled, and his breathing was labored. When you sat beside him, asking him what was wrong, the frustration and weariness in his voice was evident.

“I had a nightmare…”

According to Gaara, it seemed like he had started suffering from recurring nightmares a year after the Fourth Great Ninja War, confessing to you how he had been coping about it ever since. Gaara said that he tries to take short naps throughout the day in order to make up for little to no sleep that he gets at night. He tries to steer himself away from sleeping at the comfort of his home, because when the exhaustion catches up to him, he ends up losing control over the state of sleep, making him susceptible to another yet episode of a nightmare.

The next morning, you almost pleaded to Gaara to finally sleep beside you.

“Please, Gaara. If you were in my place, you know it yourself that you would do everything you can just so you could take care of me. We should always take care of each other no matter what.”

It honestly took a lot of convincing before you got Gaara to agree with you. He kept telling you that he didn’t want to disturb what should be a night of peaceful sleep for you, but you knew it yourself that having him beside you would not be the reason of you losing sleep, but the fact that you would always be worried sick about him. Who was he kidding? How could you even get an ounce of sleep now after knowing what he goes through at night? As much was you wanted him to give him the autonomy over his decisions, this wasn’t any matter that should be dealt alone with, and Gaara knows that himself. If you were to be the one in his place, he wouldn’t sit still about it as well.

After a minute of letting the kettle’s whistle tear through the quiet of the night, you wrapped a rug on the plastic handle before taking it off the flame. You leaned downwards to grab a small basin from the cabinet, filling half of it with cold water under the faucet before turning it off. You poured the hot water in intervals, feeling the water with your other hand now and then as you tried to bring it up to a proper temperature; the steam coming off of it feeling rather nice against your cold cheeks. You placed two bath towels over your shoulder, and just before you were about to lift the basin from the sink, you felt someone shift behind your back.

It was Gaara.

You felt his hands travel from your waist, towards on top of your stomach as he pulled you in for a backhug. “Let me carry that.” Gaara whispered into your ear before pressing a soft kiss on your cheek.

“You should be resting on the bed,” You mumbled, your voice laced with just a tiny bit of scolding. “I’m supposed to be the caretaker here, Gaara.”

Gaara smiled against your face, as he continued to plant gentle kisses upon your skin. “I will always take care of you… as much as you take care of me, even if I’m incapacitated to do so. We’ll always take of each other no matter what; that’s what you said, right?”

Your chest tightened with what you just heard, feeling a soft brush of warmth across your now probably flushed cheeks. Before you knew it, Gaara was already walking back towards the bathroom with the basin at hand, leaving you a flustered mess in the kitchen.

The windows were now opened, and the moonlight bathed the bedroom in a gentle, luminous glow. Gaara sat still on the edge of the bed that was facing the window, eyes trained on the side as you stood before him. The basin was on your right side, sitting above a wooden stool, with the bath towel now soaking the warm water inside it.

“Uhm… Would you rather have me take off your clothes, or you want to do it by yourself?”

After turning on the night lamp, you saw a clearer glimpse of Gaara’s face, which was currently laced with concern. After a minute or two of wondering why, that was when you realized what he had been thinking about ever since he sat on the bed.

“You have nothing to worry about, Gaara. I don’t mind… seeing you with your clothes off.”

Gaara’s chest tightened, as his face started to get as red as his hair. He pursed his lips subtly out of embarrassment, before pulling his dampened shirt over his head, folding it neatly above his lap before placing it down the floor. Gaara stood up from the bed, before pulling his pajamas down until it pooled down his feet. You redirected your gaze towards the walls behind your lover, your lips in a slight pout as you tried to release a subtle, drawn out sigh to ease your jittering nerves.

“I’m… I’m done.” Gaara murmured, his palms pressed down against the mattress on both sides of his body, as he was now left wearing nothing but black, cotton boxers, a messy hair, and a blushing face.

You smiled nervously at him before taking a sit beside him, the mattress sinking down a little in response to the movement. You reached for the bath towel lying on the bottom of the basin, and with both hands, you squeezed the excess water out, dipping it up and down as you continued to drain it just until it was damp enough to cleanse his body off of the stickiness of his sweat. Gaara rotated himself to face you directly, so that you could have a better access to his body. You grabbed him softly by his wrist, starting by his hands. You gently rubbed both of his palms, before cleaning in between of his fingers. “Your hands are rather pretty, don’t you think? They’re so soft… and slender.”

“I never took notice of that,” Gaara mumbled in between of trying his best to meet your gaze, but failing nevertheless halfway through it. “but, uhm… thank you, Y/N.”

You smiled back at him while you were rubbing the towel from his wrist towards his arm in firm, upwards strokes, doing the same thing with the other one before returning the towel into the basin, allowing it to soak up water for a minute or two before wringing it out once again, the sound of water dripping down the basin sounding rather relaxing as it consorted the quietness of the night perfectly.

“Uchiha… Sasuke, huh?” You asked curiously, as you were now rubbing the towel on top of his left shoulder, gazing intrigued at the huge scar just a few inches below the tail of his collarbone. There was an odd, circular looking-shape at the center, its edges jagged; seemingly appearing to be the epicenter of the attack. It seemed to branch out in different directions, some of it being three to four inches in length, finalized by extensions of smaller, thinner limbs of scar. The color of it was in between oleander and umber, rather a little glossy in appearance considering how old it was.

“Hmm…” Gaara sighed with a slight, amused smile on his face; remembering that he once considered his scar as a memento of the very day he met his first friend; Uzumaki, Naruto.

“What do you think about it?”

“…About what?”

“Your scar.”

You were now scrubbing the damp cloth against his chest, and you couldn’t help but get a little nervous.

Gaara wasn’t overly buff, his muscles were rather lean and well-defined. It wasn’t the type to put an exaggerated strain on the fabric of his clothes, as Gaara himself also opts for a looser approach of garments; so you were rendered surprised when you saw how toned his upper muscles actually were; specifically his shoulders and his arms, which may have probably been a result of the years he had spent carrying that heavy, large gourd on his back.

He really was… beautiful.

Gaara has been noticing how lingering your stare was over his body for the past few minutes, and he would be lying if he said it didn’t make him self-conscious. He tries to diffuse his embarrassment by answering your questions in return. “Well… it does bear some emotional significance to me, since during that day, a lot of what took in place changed my life forever.”

You nodded back at Gaara, knowing exactly what he was talking about since this wasn’t really the first time he told you about what happened during the final round of the chunin exams.

“Appearance-wise…” Gaara sighed in thought, “I guess I myself don’t really mind it that much, but…” Gaara trailed off, as he was now trying to avert his gaze away from you once again. You didn’t want to inquire further, even though the curiosity was killing you. If there’s anything that Gaara solidified in you, that was improving your ever short-lived patience. You smiled at him before dropping the towel once again, squeezing the water out as you hummed.

“Let me clean your face now.” You shifted closer to Gaara, as the side of your knee was now brushing against his. Since you have to lean a little closer to him, you ended up unconsciously placing your warm palm on top of his naked thigh, the abrupt contact eliciting an inward gasp from Gaara; his shock not visible at all to you with how excellent he was in trying to bottle every reaction he has behind his usual, stoic face. What he couldn’t hide though was how his other hand was clenched in a tight fist, his thumb rubbing against his folded index finger in hopes of calming down his nerves.

You pressed a palm against his forehead before flipping back his fringe towards his head, revealing his tattoo. You dabbed the towel softly against his skin, wiping in between. “Your hair’s getting a little long, huh?”

“Should I cut it?” Gaara asked.

“Well, that is up to you to decide. I think you look handsome either way.” You pinched his cheek teasingly before wetting the towel once again. Gaara couldn’t help how racy his heart was at this moment; he was still not used to positive affirmations.

“Close your eyes.” You whispered under your breath. You folded the bath towel around your index and middle finger, as your grip on his thigh got a little tighter as you continued to inch closer towards him. You started around the area surrounding his eyes. “I really think you have gorgeous eyes.”

Gaara, despite being a nervous wreck that he was, found humor in what you just said; as a gentle, chortle of laughter left his mouth. “I have… what…”

“You don’t agree?” You pouted.

Gaara sensed a hint of sadness in your voice, and he could imagine you pouting right at that very second. “It’s just… it’s the first time I have received such compliment. It surprised me, my love.”

“Hmm… well, I think it really strikes a very interesting contrast, you know?” You mumbled, telling him that he can open his eyes now. You smiled even more as you saw the literal proof of your statement just now. “It might sound odd to you, but I think your eyebags bring out your pale, seafoam eyes better. You have such unique-colored eyes.” You smiled genuinely at him.  Gaara tried to avert his eyes from the eye contact you were now trying to initiate, but you wanted him to know this wasn’t small talk; you were genuine about it, every bit of it. “Gaara?”

“…Yes?” Gaara flinched a little when you held him by the side of his cheek as you ushered him to face you once again.

“You’re beautiful.” You whispered quietly as your face started to inch itself closer to his. Gaara shut his eyes closed in response, a soft sigh staying behind his nervously, zipped-tight lips when he felt the softness of your slight pucker against him. “You are so beautiful to me, Gaara.” You grinned against his lips before pressing a lingering peck once again. When you pulled back from the kiss, Gaara’s eyes barely fluttered open; with the evident blush staining his cheeks red. He was rendered speechless of it all, and you were nothing but understanding of it. You grabbed the folded, black shirt behind your back that you’ve fished out from the closet. Gaara was still not speaking, but he nodded in agreement when you told him that you were gonna put his shirt on for him.

“Thank you…” Gaara mumbled under his breath.

“You’re welcome.” You grinned brightly at him before standing up to place the basin at the corner of the room, telling Gaara along the lines of emptying it out tomorrow morning. “Oh, you go change into your pajamas now. I’ll stand here for a bit until you’re done, okay?”

Gaara didn’t answer, but you heard him shift from behind your back. You hummed a tune to yourself as you allowed him to finish getting dressed, adjusting your shirt and shorts as well so that you can now go back to sleep afterwards. When you heard a soft signal from Gaara telling you that he was done, you couldn’t help but giggle at how cute he looked like; all tucked up on his side of the bed. A few minutes after you settled yourself underneath the blanket as well, you decided to change your mind, as you opted to sit instead; with your back pressing against the headboard. You couldn’t help but notice how awfully quiet Gaara was, lying on his side and facing away from you; not moving at all, but his way of breathing tattle-taled that he was still awake.

“Gaara?”

“Hmm?”

“We can cuddle, if you’d like…”

“…”

Gaara shifted in his position, the rustling fabric ringing to your ears as he rotated himself to turn towards you. He propped his palm against the mattress before situating himself closer towards you, earning a surprised reaction from you with his choice of position; before having it transition into a soft, endearing smile.

His cheek was currently resting above your lap, the back of his head pressing against your stomach. He laid on his side, his knees folded so that his legs weren’t going to dangle down the edge of the bed. Gaara felt a little stiff and awkward as he still wasn’t entirely used to being this close and affectionate under his very own initiative - but a part of him… a part of him wanted to reach out towards you at the moment.

He yearned to feel your warmth against him tonight.

Gaara sighed, his thoughts mixing in with the undecisiveness of what kind of words should leave his mouth right now, in contrast to the other side of him wanting to open up, because the last thing he wanted was to get you worried over him. You caught up to his internal plight, his eyes fluttering open gently to meet yours as you combed your fingerpads through his hair, softly cooing to him that he didn’t have to talk about it if he didn’t want to.

Truth be told, the obvious lack of communication skills on his behalf paved way towards difficulties; it had been a root to some of the problems you two have encountered during the earlier onset of your relationship. Of course, you weren’t devoid of the responsibilities over the dilemmas as well, and you are very much aware of that. The innate awareness itself, and the perseverance to let each other know which issues that you two have that render setbacks on the relationship is what made your connection be continuously resilient. On your behalf, you finally understood that you should not take personal offense over his predisposition to stay silent; as it was already an internal struggle that he himself acknowledges, and tries his best to overcome in order to be a better partner for you.

With his heart touched over your reassuring gesture, Gaara reached out for your other hand, which was currently resting above his hip, and held it in front of his face, eyeing it lovingly while he fiddled with your digits, as if he wanted to feel every bleed of comforting warmth that poured out from your skin. Gaara pressed the back of your hand against his lips, giving it a gentle kiss before placing it above his cheek, as his thumb continued to press and massage against your palm to return the favor. “Would it be a bother if I were to ask you to your read your book to me, my love?”

A slight surprise graced your face, as this was the first time Gaara had requested something like that. “Of course not, Gaara.” You smiled softly at him. “Would you like me to get something that you like? Do you have anything in mind?”

“You don’t have to,” Gaara trailed off, followed by a soft, fleeting whisper,  “I just want to hear your voice…”

Your chest fluttered at what you heard, and you could almost feel your stomach dropping in an unfathomable happiness. You reached for the book beside the lamp on your nightstand, opening it on a certain page you were reading into earlier. You cleared your throat, a little nervous, yet also wanting to give it your best shot. Gaara’s eyes were closed once again, a hint of anticipation gracing his peaceful face. “Rest for the meantime, okay?”

And with a slight nod from Gaara, you started to read to him.

"You are beautiful, but you are empty," he went on. "One could not die for you. To be sure, an ordinary passerby would think that my rose looked just like you−− the rose that belongs to me. But in herself alone she is more important than all the hundreds of you other roses: because it is she that I have watered; because it is she that I have put under the glass globe; because it is she that I have sheltered behind the screen; because it is for her that I have killed the caterpillars (except the two or three that we saved to become butterflies); because it is she that I have listened to, when she grumbled, or boasted, or even sometimes when she said nothing. Because she is my rose.”

And he went back to meet the fox.

"Goodbye," he said.

"Goodbye," said the fox. "And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."

"What is essential is invisible to the eye," the little prince repeated, so that he would be sure to remember.

"It is the time you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important."

"It is the time I have wasted for my rose−−" said the little prince, so that he would be sure to remember.

"Men have forgotten this truth," said the fox. "But you must not forget it. You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed. You are responsible for your rose..."

"I am responsible for my rose," the little prince repeated, so that he would be sure to remember.

“You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed.” You repeated with a soft smile, your eyes sneaking down a glance at Gaara through the slight gap between the bottom edge of the book and your chest; his fiery, red locks reminding you of the said vibrantly-colored flower in the story. “I am responsible for my rose.”

Before you spoke another line once again, Gaara pressed his palm against the spine of the book, hooking his index and middle finger in between the partition of the pages and pulling it softly away from you. He placed the book on the side before sitting up, the faint sigh that left his mouth fanning air against your lips.

Gaara wanted to thank you, but the shock barred himself to speak even a single syllable right at that moment. He had underestimated how close his face would be, and the short space in betweeen the two of you had robbed him off of his capacity to speak as his eyes unconsciously glanced down at your lips.

He wanted to kiss you.

He wanted to kiss you so much.

…But, he stood frozen before you, his stomach and chest tightening beyond belief as he couldn’t move even an inch to close the gap that was preventing him from feeling your lips against him. He just continued to stare, taking in every line, corner and curve of your soft, glistening pout. Gaara felt his breathing gradually quicken, as he found himself leaning closer and closer to your equally, blushing face.

“Can I kiss you?” Gaara whispered under his breath, his deep, husky voice sending shivers down your spine. “Can I kiss you, my love?” Gaara nudged his face forward towards you, basking in the emanating warmth from your face.

You nodded at him, your heart racing uncontrollably beneath your chest. “You can kiss me, Gaara.”

Gaara pulled back his face away from you, his almost shaking hand holding you by the side of your cheek, a thumb sneaking in soft strokes against your lower lip. His heart fluttered at how supple it was to the touch. He closed his eyes before leaning in towards you once again, that being the last sight before you shut your eyes in return. It wasn’t too long until you felt his lips brush gently against yours; a little hesitant, yet the intimacy of it igniting his urge to feel more. Gaara inched his lips forward with a deeper pressure; as your tender pout continued to bathe his body in a calming sense of warm solace that he couldn’t get enough of.

When he pulled back from the kiss, he immediately dove his face towards the crook of your neck, his arms sliding down on both sides of your body before wrapping them around your waist; ushering you closer for a hug. His breathing was rather erratic, slow and deep. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, your hand sneaking in a soft, rub across his scalp to ease him down. “Do you want to get some sleep now, love?”

Gaara hummed vaguely in response, his tone lingering with a hint of not wanting to let go of you just yet, coinciding perfectly with the fact that he just hugged you closer towards him.

“…”

“Do you want to kiss me again?”

Gaara buried his face deeper against your warm skin.

“Yes…”

You relaxed your shoulders against the headboard, your breathing almost hitching in anticipation as Gaara pulled his face back from the curve of your neck. His eyes fell down to the side, and just before you thought he was now going to lean forward for an another kiss, Gaara nuzzled his face towards your neck once again, his hug getting a little more tighter this time.

Gaara swallowed the lump in his throat, the beat of his heart getting tighter and deeper, like he could almost feel his chest sink as every pulse got heavier and heavier. He wanted to confess that his nervousness had skyrocketed beyond reach; and he wasn’t sure he could initiate another kiss once more with his weakening resolve. His jittering nerves were getting the best of him, making him mumble soft apologies against your skin as he cuddled closer towards you.

“I can kiss you, instead… if you want to.” You whispered to his ear.

Gaara faced you once again, his eyes glassy and heavy with anticipation.

“D- do you know how to kiss,” You scratched your index finger against your cheek embarrassingly before trying to meet his nervous gaze once again. “with our mouths open? Y- you know, using our… tongue.” The last word seemed to evaporate into thin air, as Gaara’s blush grew a deeper hue. “Don’t worry,” You chuckled nervously as you tried to comfort him. “I- It’s not like I’m an expert on that or anything. I have just… read about it,” You cleared your throat. “from the books I have.”

“I’m sorry… My lack of experience…” Gaara closed his eyes with a sigh.

“Hey,” You placed a hand on his shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “like I said, I have only read about it. I don’t know how it’ll actually be like in real life, or something…”

“You can… you can practice on me, if you’d like.”

You shot Gaara a surprised look in response to his newfound tone of voice. Despite being a flustered mess of pink and red, there was an evident determination in his face. “I want to learn about it, and I want to be able to… please you. So… if you may, as long as you’re comfortable… let me be your guest.”

You nodded at Gaara, “…Uhm, can I sit on your lap?” You mumbled softly.

With an anxious swallow and a shaky nod, Gaara piled three pillows against the headboard before laying on his back comfortably beside you. You thanked him under your breath before letting a sharp sigh of self-encouragement rip from your chest. Gaara couldn’t help but mentally curse inwardly to himself when he felt your supple body press down on him.

“Nervous?” You giggled, both asking Gaara and yourself to ease the tension just a little bit. “Our first makeout session, huh?”

Gaara gasped when you shifted your position, as inching closer towards him paved way for your crotch to grind briefly against his. He clenched his fists tight in hopes of not getting a hard on and making you uncomfortable.

“I’ll start now.”

You placed both of your hands on both sides of his cheek, giving him a soft, endearing smile of encouragement as you dove your face slowly towards him. Both of your eyes weren’t entirely closed; just enough for it to have a small peek of where both of your lips would land on. You pressed a teasing kiss upon his upper lip; pulling back a bit before brushing another peck against his lower lip this time. With a smile, you planted a full kiss on his soft pout; the pressure gradually increasing as Gaara tried his best to respond bit by bit.

“Open your mouth,” You whispered under your breath. Gaara swallowed nervously before allowing a slight gap part his lips in between. “if it feels too weird, just tell me, okay?”

“Mhm..” Gaara answered.

With your drooping eyes trained on his pucker, you inched your face forward, slowly sneaking in your tongue inside his wet cavern, eliciting a soft whimper from your lover. You ushered your body forward, as you leaned in for a deeper kiss; the teasing exploration of your tongue inside Gaara’s mouth not getting intense any time soon with how tensed he was beneath you.

You pulled back from the kiss with a soft grin on your face.

“So…” You asked shyly, “I- I guess that’s how it goes?”

Gaara hummed in thought, brushing his forearm against face as he was still processing what just happened.

There was rather an awkward silence brewing between the two of you, as Gaara’s gaze was fixed on everything but towards you. He couldn’t help it, his heart felt like it was going to somersault out of his ribcage at that very moment, and the fact that you were so close to him for the very first time was just adding fuel to the fire.

“We should get some rest,” You cooed. “There’s no rush about this, alright?”

“N- no, I-“ Gaara cleared his throat immediately, as his immediate disagreement made him blush even harder. “I can still manage, Y/N.”

“Are you sure?”

Gaara nodded in response.

With a soft smile, you ushered your face closer again, your heart beating faster and faster as you got closer to his haze-lost face. Gaara was surprised when you landed your lips upon the corner of his mouth, his confusion spiralling tighter when you started peppering pecking kisses across his cheeks. “Making out isn’t really just about open-mouthed kisses.” You whispered in between, as your other hand went to stroke the other side of his face adoringly. “There are other sensitive spots in our bodies that we can… please, like… here…” You kissed the spot below his ear, tracing the outer shell of it with slow, teasing kisses; enveloping Gaara in a shudder; which was suddenly reciprocated by your own body in return when you felt his hand travel down your spine as he loosely gripped you in place by your waist. You mapped a trail of kisses downwards once again, his grasp getting briefly tighter as your lips got lower and lower down his neck. You halted for a minute, the sensation he’s been feeling not stopping even for a bit as he still felt stimulated by your hot breathe tickling the skin of his neck. “Can I suckle on your neck?”

Gaara’s face had never felt so hot, the heat was nothing in comparison to even the hottest rays under the sun in Suna that has been reflecting over his face for years.

“Yes...” Gaara mumbled as he pressed his face against the plane of your shoulder.

You brushed a gentle pucker against your chosen spot, peppering it with endearing reassurance. Gaara shuddered once more when he felt your hand ran upwards his spine; a barely audible gasp leaking past his mouth as he felt your fingertips rake through the base of his scalp, your fingers slowly threading through his locks as you tilted his face sidewards with a soft grip. With a whispered warning, you took in the skin of his neck into your mouth, suckling on it softly and kissing it in between before sucking it once again a little harder with every try.

“Ahh, Y/N…”

…

Your heart felt like it missed a beat.

“Did I hear that right?” You whispered breathily to his ear. “Was that a moan?”

Gaara nodded bashfully in response.

“Does it feel good?”

“Yes…” Gaara mumbled under his breath. “Y- you’re so… good at this.”

“It doesn’t stop here just yet.” There was a faint smirk on your face. “There’s so much more you’ve yet to see,” You could feel Gaara’s labored breathing against you, his breathing hitching for worse when you brushed your crotch against his on purpose. “so much more you’ve yet to feel…”

“Y/N…”

“You can touch me too, if you like…” You mumbled suggestively, as you placed your hand on top of his hand that was resting upon your waist, giving it a soft brush of contact before dragging it under your shirt, the warm skin contact of his palm brushing against your bare skin making you bite your lip subtly in response.

You pulled back your face from the curve of his neck, initiating an effort to meet his shaky gaze once again. “Do you want to see me, Gaara?”

And with a nervous nod from your lover, you pulled your shirt over your head.

You reached for the clasp behind your back, unclasping it rather a little shakily as you were also nervous as well. You were kind of thankful that Gaara wasn’t there to notice how long you have been taking off the damned fabric off of you, as he was enveloped in a bashful shell of himself; with his eyes drifting towards the side out of respect.

With a satisfied sigh, you quickly placed your forearm below your chest in support before tossing the bra to the side.

“Y- you can look now…”

Gaara felt like the air he was barely breathing in was now taken away from him completely.

You quickly grabbed the discarded shirt, covering yourself in a frazzled mumble of words.

He was quiet, he was too quiet; his rapid breathing was the only response you were hearing from him and you would be lying if you said that the lack of verbal reaffirmations from him didn’t affect you at all. When Gaara caught up with how he might have made you feel, he quickly snapped back to his senses. Through his crippling bashfulness, he managed to look directly into your eyes.

…And with an adoring smile, Gaara spoke once again.

“You look so beautiful, my love.”

Gaara might be beyond a nervous wreck at this point, but so were you. He couldn’t help but coo soft apologies in reference to this thought, as he felt like all he did was sit back and let you do the work. You reassured him that it wasn’t anything like that, that it’s only natural to be high-strung at that moment since both of you had not done this before.

“Please,” Gaara said, although his voice was soft and endearing, you could still tell the deep-seated determination behind it. “if you’re comfortable with it… please, tell me how I could make you feel good.”

You tossed the shirt to the side once again.

“W- wait, let me… let me reposition myself a little bit, my love.” Gaara mumbled, as the squeeze of his hand placed on your waist got a little firmer in response to the movement. He straightened his back once more, allowing him to have a better posture; with a nod, you started to search for his other hand.

You guided his tad bit shaky hand towards your left breast, a soft sigh exiting your mouth as you felt the warm contact of his palm upon your nakedness. You tried to meet Gaara’s eyes, but a nervous tick sent him down staring intently down his directed hand as the brief eye contact with your heavy-lidded eyes sent shivers down his spine.

“Feel the weight of it first,” You mumbled. “Start slowly, allow your… fingers to wrap around the roundness of it…”

Gaara nodded studiously as he took mental notes deep into his brain. He was starting to get more comfortable around it, as the urge to please you was starting to get ahead of his tensing nerves.

“That’s it… Gradually increase the firmness of your grasp… Ahh.” You moaned softly under your breath, as Gaara’s firmer ministrations started to send jolts of pleasure down the rest of your body. Gaara felt like his breathing halted momentarily, but he knew better this time. You were now starting to feel good under his touch, and he would stop at nothing to ensure he wouldn’t keep you away from feeling that way.

“T- Touch my other breast too…”

With a swallow, Gaara followed through, repeating exactly what he had learned previously.

You tried your best to tone down your voice, but another pleasure-soaked moan ripped from your heaving chest as Gaara continued to play through his ministrations. He watched you in awe, as you stared lustfully down at your breast being toyed with by his very own hands. You knew he was starting to feel good as well, as you started to feel his protuding erection across your clothed slit.

“Wet your thumb with your tongue, Gaara.” The way you moaned his name at the very end of your sentence made him curse inwardly to himself. Gaara extended the tip of his tongue, licking the pad of his thumb diligently until it was appropriately wet. You propped your palms behind your back, placing them above Gaara knees as you arched back a little, allowing him to have a fuller view of your naked, upper body.

A budding, lustful sigh leaked past Gaara’s lips. Somehow, he did have a vague idea in regards to what was going to follow past your previous instruction, so out of instinct, Gaara rested his palm upon the side of your breast, and with a swift motion, Gaara brushed his lubricated thumb against your nipple, eliciting a sweeter moan from you.

“Not only a fast learner; you’re also quite the intuitive one, are you?” You mumbled with a smirk.

Gaara smirked back briefly, before wetting his other thumb to reflect the exact ministration on your other breast.

“Ohh, Gaara.”

Gaara flicked both of his thumbs teasingly, side to side, upon your now stiffening nub. Not depending entirely on your instruction alone anymore, Gaara went through his instinct as he rubbed the pads of his thumb in circular motions against your nipples; dragging out a drawn out, blissful mewl of his name from your lips as you started to unconsciously dig your nails against the skin of his thighs.

“Gaara, that feels so-“

Gaara’s hands went down your waist and without any foreword, he yanked you closer towards him, earning a surprised yelp from you.

“Can… can I put it in my mouth?” Gaara breathed heavily beneath you, his eyes glassy with impending lust. You raked your fingernails softly across both sides of his head, planting shivers all over his body at how stimulating it felt like for his hair to be played with like that.

“I’d love that…”

With a slight, nervous sigh, Gaara stared at your nub, a hint of curiosity pooling on his seafoam eyes. Gaara pressed a soft kiss on your left breast, his lips tiptoeing towards the other one as he kissed it just as endearingly. “You’re so… perfect, Y/N.”

Your chest and your stomach fluttered at his whispered compliments, as he continued to admire every bit of your nakedness.

“You look so beautiful, my love…”

You pressed a soft kiss against his head, as his utmost adoration continued to weaken every fiber of composure within your body… and after the lingering stare between the two of you, Gaara tightened his grip on your waist before parting his wet mouth; enveloping your nipple lovingly into his wet cavern.

Gaara shifted in his position, straightening his back better against the cushion of the pillow as the way he folded his knees towards his body elevated you a little, allowing you to tower over him even more. Gaara took back his mouth only to dive his face forward to your other teat, moaning adoringly against your naked nipple. Gaara used his forefinger and his thumb to stimulate your other nub in circles, eliciting strings of mewls from your mouth as you continued to moan his name selfishly.

“That’s so good, that feels so good,” You groaned above him, a blissful sight of you being thoroughly watched by Gaara as he shot his gaze towards your mewling stance.

Sneaking past your rational thoughts, your hips began to grind itself against his body on its own, as the pleasure of getting your tits suckled and toyed with by your eager lover’s mouth continued to stir your lust for worse. You pulled on Gaara’s hair, tilting his face upwards to face you, and with a swift motion, you initiated an open-mouthed kisses against his soft pout; your body feeling like you’re being enveloped in a feverish sensation as you continued to swirl his tongue around his mouth. “Touch me down there too…” You whispered in between your sloppy kisses as you redirected both of Gaara’s hand to fumble down your lower back, before shoving it under your shorts. The fabric was loose enough to give Gaara an ample room to massage and squeeze your backside, with the relaxing gesture passing a pleasured moan from your mouth to his. Gaara rubbed his palms across the roundness of your ass in circles before giving it a firm squeeze. The way he was touching you at the moment almost overwhelmed him to a certain point.

You shoved Gaara deeper into the pillow fort behind his back, lapping your tongue inside his mouth, eagerly intertwining it with his own; which was guided by his slight nervous attempt to kiss you back just as passionately. You smiled against Gaara, encouraging him with your soft whispers of approval in between your kisses, making his stomach flutter in a mix of slowly diminishing self-consciousness and the brewing desire to please you more.

You pressed your lips harder against him, deepening your sloppy kiss as you raked your nails through his messy, red hair; making Gaara shudder against you. You pressed your body closer against him, pinning and pinning him deeper into headboard. Dragging your lips past the corner of his lips, you planted pecking kisses towards his ear. “I’d like to… try something.” You whispered breathily, the hot air sending shivers down his spine.  

“W- what do you have in mind, my love?” Gaara asked back breathily.

“You need… stimulation down there as well, right?”

Gaara swallowed the lump in his throat with a slight, wide pair of eyes; processing exactly what you were trying to insinuate.

“I want to make you feel good too, Gaara.” You mumbled blushingly. With a coy smile, you started to grind your clothed slit across Gaara’s stiffened arousal; and the way it got harder and harder with every thrust almost sent you towards the edge.

“Do you want me to touch you down there, love?”

Gaara, although a little hesitant due to his embarrassment, nodded through his bashful stance; as he would be lying if he said that the way his cock throbbed harder beneath you wasn’t starting to feel a little touch-starved.

Gaara left a final, parting squeeze on your backside before allowing you to shift your position; as you were now sitting beside him, your palm propped upon his other thigh to support your composure. “Can I?”

Gaara nodded again with a soft agreement leaving his mouth. You hooked your fingers into the waistband of pajamas before peeling it off of him completely, leaving him in nothing but a new, dark gray boxer shorts. Despite being the one who’s pulling the reins at the moment, you were indeed just as anxious as your lover; as both of you tiptoed towards your very first sexual interaction with one another. Nevertheless, the trust that both of you had for each other made it easier to settle in comfortably under one’s touch, and as foreign as it may be, it still felt like there was a strong, innate connection that bounded you and Gaara together; an undeniable bond that envelops you and your lover in a sense of solace despite showing each other’s naked vulnerabilities.

Everything just feels like… it was meant to happen.

With Gaara’s notice, you slowly undressed him from the lone, remaining fabric that was covering his body; making you flinch in surprise when his aroused cock snapped against the spot just below his clothed navel. You couldn’t help but swallow in anticipation. You left his boxer shorts just above his knees; so that if ever he feels the need to cover himself up, he’d have no trouble looking for his clothing. Gaara couldn’t help but smile to himself warmly with your caring gesture.

You rested your palm upon it, making you gasp slightly with the contact. “Wow, it’s… hot. I mean, it’s hot to the touch... I- It’s so warm?” You stuttered confusingly.

“Y- yes… it really is like that.” Gaara stuttered back nervously with a pleasured sigh, as you used the area between your thumb and index finger to rub against his throbbing cock, the silhouette of his hardness pressing a defined outline against the skin of his lower abdomen igniting a fire of arousal in his body as he was continuously reminded of how rigid his dick was under your touch.

“Oh? It’s wet up here…” You mumbled curiously as you brushed your thumb against the tip of his cock, making Gaara moan softly as you rubbed the pad of your finger against it in circles.

“Ahh… i- it happens… when I am aroused.”

Truth be told, the way you were looking at his cock with wonder in your eyes made his cock even harder. How you looked nervous and in awe at the same time as you took in the sight of his stiffened cock made him choke on his own breath.

“Do you play with yourself?”

Gaara’s breathing hitched after hearing your question, seemingly not knowing exactly how to answer it as his shock sent his brain into a haywire. A minute or two later, he seemed to retrieve back a sense of himself, as he was now trying to conjure up an answer to satiate your curiosity.

“Before I met you… I only saw it as a way of releasing… pent up stress. B- but when I got to know you, and my affections for you started to develop more and more, I…” Gaara sighed, as his nerves started to shake him up once again. Deep inside, a possible answer did plague him as to why sharing his deepest thoughts felt so difficult; maybe it was related to the fact that he doesn’t talk about himself as much as other people tend to do. He appreciates hearing other people’s thoughts and feelings, and finds comfort that they trust him to tell him those kind of things, but for him to open up himself was still a little off to him.

It was different with you. Other people would just go off and respect Gaara’s wishes not to talk about himself, and proceed to an almost one-sided conversation with Gaara just nodding in response. You always asked him, you always wanted to know more about him, but in a way that was not laced with any ounce of condescending pressure at all. Your words were calculated enough to encourage him, not to force him. He found comfort in the slight taste of curiosity that you offered to him, and in a way, it had made him much more open in regards to his thoughts and feelings.

Despite of being a nervous wreck at the moment, and as much as how embarrassed he was to admit it to himself, Gaara wanted to continue the conversation. A part of him wanted to selfishly indulge in it. He just needed a little breathing in between to get through it.

“I found myself… thinking about you. T-  thinking a lot about you, actually…” Gaara’s heavy-lidded gaze landed upon his cock being stroked softly against his abdomen, and the way you looked so encouragingly gentle on the contrary of literally playing with his cock at the moment was almost a complex combination of funny yet sexy in his view. “We were still friends at that time, and I… I actually felt guilty about it… because I was starting to have inappropriate thoughts about you, and I just… Y/N…” Gaara moaned your name, no longer able to continue, as the way you were stimulating him at that moment and the added effort of opening up for someone as private as him rendered him speechless.

“Just sit back and relax, love.” You cooed, as you wrapped a full fist around his pulsing dick, pumping your fist up and down as you found yourself leaning your face closer and closer towards it, taking in the sight of the muscle throbbing within the hollow of your fist.

“Gaara?”

“Y- yes?”

“Do you know oral sex?”

Gaara’s eyes were wide in surprise as soon as he heard what seems to be a potential proposition you could be speaking of minutes later. A thought so alienatingly foreign, yet somehow, he had already envisioned you doing it while he jerked off his cock deep into the sleepless night of having nothing but fervent, erotic thoughts about you.

Oral sex, huh?

He had read about it, probably twenty pages into that green book that the sixth Hokage himself; Hatake, Kakashi, gave him during his diplomatic visit in Sunagakure before opening his cabinet and shoving it inside out of panic.

…But through his jittering nerves, he did pick up the book from the shelf to take it home, and the provocative imagery that the book embedded into his innocent mind as he took in sentences of nothing but pure, lustful sex, did make his trousers tight in response.

The deeper he got into the book, the more he didn’t realize that he was already stroking his cock while he laid back on the comfort of his couch, legs spread open, back pressed against the cushion sluggishly as he continued to pump his fist slowly up and down his throbbing dick, moaning your name in between the wet, skin slapping noises that ripped through the silence of his house.

In his mind, you were enthusiastically bobbing your head up and down in between his thighs.

“I am… I am aware of it.”

You gulped in response, as the sight of the tip of his cock starting to glisten more with the erupting lust from his cock ignited a hunger inside you, and with letting your instincts tore through, you wrapped your other fist in his cock, before taking in the one where your thumb is wet his pre-cum, and putting it in your mouth to taste.

“Shit.” Gaara shut his eyes closed in an exasperated arousal.

“Do you want to know how it feels?” You whispered seductively, as you placed your dominant hand once again to pump his cock up and down.

“A- are you comfortable with it?” Gaara asked with concern despite the lustful haze he was starting to get lost in.

“I am,” A small smirk made its way on your lips. “I want to… I want to wrap my mouth around it.”

“Around… what?” Gaara asked, eliciting a surprised reaction not only from you, but from himself as well.

“Around your huge, throbbing cock.” You teased, earning another yet breathy cuss from Gaara.

Just before you were about to take his throbbing member into your mouth, Gaara whispered your name softly to tug on your attention, and you were met by the utter gentleness in his eyes. Gaara tucked a stray hair behind your ear, before allowing his thumb to brush across your cheek. “You don’t have to do it… if you don’t want to… okay? You’re the one who gets to decide what you want to do, my love… You can stop anytime you want to, do not mind me at all.”

Your chest fluttered at his caring reminder. “Thank you, Gaara…” You leaned towards him, as you pressed another peck of kiss upon his lips. “Don’t forget about yourself too, alright? If you want me to stop, tell me right away, okay?”

Gaara nodded with a smile as he thanked you back softly in return. After telling him to lay down and relax, you started to trace a trail of downward kisses from his jaw, and down his sensitive neck. You peppered the plane of his collarbone with gentle pecks in between telling him how perfect he was. Gaara’s flushed face was angled towards the ceiling, his breathing a little loud and laboured as he tried to meet your gaze after telling him to look at you. “There’s nothing to be embarrassed about, love. Every inch of you is more than perfect to me.”

“Y/N…” A shocked, breathy gasp escaped his lips when you flicked the side of your index finger against his nipple.

“Too ticklish?” You asked gently, getting an embarrassed nod from Gaara as he tried to cover half of his face with his forearm. “That’ll be reserved for next time…” You mumbled with a smirk, making Gaara shudder as his thoughts began to run wild.

“I- I didn’t say I didn’t like it… I was just-“ Gaara parted his thighs apart, the ample space it resulted to allowing you to rest down on your breasts and stomach comfortably.  I- uhm, is your position comfortable? Don’t hesitate to tell me if you need a pillow, or if you want me to… uh change my position...” He mumbled caringly. You nodded at him, reassuring your anxious lover that everything’s fine at the moment, there was no need to worry.

“Ready?” You asked with a slight, coy smile on your face, as you eyed the sopping wet tip of his cock while you sluggishly pumped your fist up and down his shaft. With a breathy moan alongside a nod from Gaara, you started to get down on your business.

You extended the tip of your tongue, pressing it flat against the underside; dragging your tongue back and forth before encircling it around the circumference of his pink, sensitive tip. Your fist remained as a slight grip around the base of his cock, with your index finger and thumb wrapping a loose, jerking off motion so that he doesn’t get too overwhelmed right away. As the encircling stimulation of your tongue got lower and lower, that was when you decided to take in the whole, pulsing tip into your wet mouth; earning another breathy gasp of your name from Gaara.

You allowed the soft, innerside of your pout to envelop the tip in a gradually tightening massage, sneaking your tongue in between the slight, back and forth motions of your head. Your attention was caught by the sound of rustling fabric, with your eyes falling down on to the side; only to see Gaara’s knuckles turning white as he placed a tight grip on the sheets in response to the bliss you were serving him. With the free hand that was resting above his thigh at the moment, you reached for his hand, brushing your palm above the back of it before intertwining your fingers in between his digits, pulling it over to rest it above his thighs as you placed your palm flat down above it.

His lower lip gradually dropped down in anticipation, as he locked his eyes upon the sight of your face, slowly taking in his arousal deep into your wet mouth. He gasped even louder when you didn’t bother stopping midway, as you went on to take whole length of his cock deeper and deeper into you, only halting when a loud, gagging sound ripped through the dead silence of the bedroom. You allowed yourself to choke around his dick once, twice, before releasing it with a lustful pop right before Gaara’s eyes, the teasing hint of euphoria of your airway being cut off making you mewl his name dirtily as you tried your best to chase your breath. Gaara’s whole body bathed itself in prortruding goosebumps, a reaction you saw yourself after seeing his thighs covered with the said bodily reaction.

Just before Gaara gets to speak a query of concern, you fixed your hair out of the way before diving his cock right into your mouth once again; as you have now decided to put an end in your teasing touch. You gripped the tip of his cock around the inner swell of your pout in place as you pumped your fist up and down the body of his dick; allowing your face to gradually dip downwards, your mouth slowly taking in more areas to suck and lick on while the rest of what’s yet to follow was still stimulated by the hollow of your fist.

“Y/N… w-what are you doing… ahh…” Gaara moaned helplessly before you as the increasing bliss continued to send jolts of euphoria down the rest of his body. “That feels… so good…” He felt so embarrassed to be mewling like this, but what you were doing with him at the moment, toying on his cock expertly just had him crumbling apart desperately under your touch. Gaara hastily sat up from having his back leaning against the pillows, with his palms now propped flat against the mattress on opposites sides of his body in hopes of supporting his diminishing composure. He shut his eyes closed, but a part of him wanted to take a peek on the real life counterpart itself of what he has been lewdly jerking off to for months. There were so many aspects of such acts that no amount of heavily-vivid imagination could ever come close, details that he took in carefully and mindfully.

Apart from the mind-wrecking sensation itself of having his cock be sucked off by his beloved, the consorting sounds it bears alongside with aroused him beyond anything. The way you breathed out helplessly as you release his cock with a pop, looking up to him with gently-innocent, yet ironically lustful eyes as if you were silently asking for further reaffirmation to settle down that you were making him feel good just drives him towards the edge. The sound of spit, rub, slurp and choke; the raw sound of wet-slapping skin as you jerked his rock hard cock before your flushed, glistening face, only to swallow his dick whole once again robbed him off of the capacity to communicate.

“I don’t think I-“ An uncontrolled moan interjected at his crippling ability to speak, as the established pace of your head bobbing up and down his sopping wet member started to tighten his lower abdomen in a familiar, addicting sensation. This was it, this was the feeling that he finds himself losing even the slightest ounce of rational thought. He folded up his thigh while the other remain rested upon the mattress. You frantically searched for his hand, placing it above your head and instructing him to lock his fingers in your hair. Gaara didn’t want to inflict pain on you, so he wrapped a loose fist of your locks, his fingerpads sneaking in to rub against your scalp in hopes of returning the smallest amount of favor in contrast to what you were doing with his cock at the moment.

He finds himself shuddering even more, as the wet, gulping sounds of your mouth coming down on his dick up and down continued to get louder and desperate with every down and upwards thrust. With a nervous swallow, Gaara tried to look down at you; and a barely audible cuss left his salivating mouth.

The increasing knot of impending orgasm in Gaara’s lower abdomen started to get tighter and tighter; his body jerking out of shock when you slyly brushed a thumb across his nipple once again. You stared at him back, giving him a sly wink before focusing on the task at hand once again. As you felt your jaw starting to get sore, you pulled his cock out of your mouth; jerking him off with your now, sloppy wet fist as you pressed his now overly sensitive tip against your tongue. Gaara’s chest was now heaving up and down desperately, his face angled towards the ceiling as his mouth gaped in utter, pure bliss. He looked back at you once again, and despite his blurring, lusftul gaze being blocked by strays of his messy, red hair, he saw how you arched your back, with your body now bending over erotically before his feasting eyes; and before any word of warning could have ever leave his panting mouth, you felt the tip of his cock pulse uncontrollably against your wet tongue; only to be followed by streaks of hot, thick cum jolting out of his convulsing arousal.

Your eyes widened in shock, as you look up towards Gaara whose face was contorted in what seemed to be nothing but raw and primal look of euphoria upon his flushed, open-mouthed face; an interjecting moan of bliss ripped from his heaving, sweating chest as his body convulsed against you. Gaara tried to pull away out of embarrassment, and the said gesture had only resulted to his what remains of his cum being milked down by his drawn out throbbing orgasm to paint a streak across your cheek; making you widen your eyes even more as Gaara continued to cum all over your face and your hair. Out of an instinctive flight response, Gaara quickly grabbed the pillow behind him, covered his face with it, and slumped down his back on the mattress.

As surprised as you were; the blur of Gaara’s muffled curses and heavy breathing against the pillow started to ring clearer towards your ears; his bashful response making you chuckle in return. You squeezed yourself beside Gaara, sneaking your hand underneath the pillow he had been covering himself up before hugging him from his side; your thigh placed above his as you relaxed your face against the supple pillow. “Are you okay?”

“…”

Gaara couldn’t still bring himself to talk, but with a soft, “I’ll be back.” He placed the pillow gently beneath your thigh in replacement of his as he stood up from the bed, yanking his boxer shorts upwards before confusingly walking outside the room. You wanted to ask him if he was okay, but he was so panickingly quick that even before you get to a speak a single syllable, he has already bolted outside the door.

“So that’s what it tasted like…” You thought to yourself, as a feverish flush painted your cheeks warm; your stomach coiling bashfully as your buried your face deep into the pillow. You weren’t going to lie, giving Gaara his very first blowjob was something you have been thinking about before. The thought itself alone was fervently erotic, but the literal act itself that just took place earlier was beyond anything your mind could have ever muster. How he moaned your name breathily as you slurped his cock into your mouth sent you addiciting shivers down your spine.

You snaked a palm down your stomach, your curious fingers inching and inching closer towards your arousal; you sneaked your digits underneath the constricting fabric of your shorts and your underwear; and you cussed inwardly as your fingerpads were met by how sopping wet your slick was. You hooked your thumbs into the waistband of your shorts before lifting your ass from the mattress and swiftly discarding the said article of clothing off of you and tossing it on the floor.

Fuck, sucking your lover’s cock was indeed arousing.

Just after cleaning your face off of Gaara’s cum with your discarded shirt, Gaara entered the bedroom once again, both his hands busy as he carried a glass of water and a dessert plate on the other hand… containing a slice of… cake?

Gaara awkwardly tiptoed his way towards the bed. He placed the glass and the plate on top of the nightstand, his gaze and smile endearing yet still so… shaky. A soft creak of the bed responded as he sat on the edge of the mattress, facing you directly while you were now leaning your back against the headboard, your upper naked body covered up by the soft, fluffy pillow. Gaara placed his palm on top of your hand that was resting on your lap, his thumb giving an encircling rub. "I… uhm… I got you something.” Gaara mumbled under his breath. “I- I know that the taste of semen isn’t entirely too pleasing as I have tasted mine b- before-“ He almost choked on the last word of his sentence as he realized what he just said, making him whisper an almost inaudible “what am I saying?” to himself as he rubbed both of palms against his cheeks out of frustration.

Choosing not to inquire further to spare him the additional embarrassment, you chuckled to yourself as you reached out for the glass of water, drinking it halfway through before returning it on top of the nightstand once again; letting a satisfied sigh rip from your chest after the chill rehydration. “Thank you so much, Gaara. This was very nice of you.”

You leaned your body towards the nightstand, allowing Gaara to see the naked, graceful curve of your back as you unintentionally bent over before him, as you only wanted to have a bite or two of the cake; the decadence yet the muted sweetness of it rolling nicely upon your tongue. You sliced the fork into the dessert, placing a cupping palm below it in case it falls as you shuffled your way through the bed; facing Gaara once again.

“Have a bite, too.” You smiled softly at him.

Gaara’s blush grew a deeper hue, his eyes falling down to the side as he opened his mouth slightly to take in the slice of cake into his mouth. He chewed slowly as you watched him curiously while you took another sip of water before handing it to him so he could cleanse his palate as well; earning a soft worded gratitude from him.

You folded your thighs towards your chest, leaning your chin down against your forearms that was resting above your knees as you continued to gaze at him, and Gaara couldn’t help but be even more fidgety under your stare. “Gaara?”

“Hmm?”

“Are you okay?”

Gaara sighed before nodding slowly in response. “Yes… yes, I am. I’m really sorry… I’m just flustered.”

“Really? Why?” You inquired gently.

“It’s… it’s my first time. A- and I know that it’s your first time too… It’s just… it felt so good.” Gaara trailed off, as he gathered his scrambled thoughts with a sigh. “I’m sorry, I’m just worried that I’m going to end up doing something wrong, or in my case at the moment… I already did something wrong… I’m really sorry, my love.”

“Gaara…”

This time, you held his hand, tugging on his attention as his quivering stare tried to meet your eyes once again. Your eyes were full of warmth, a very inviting sense of care that he couldn’t help but be drawn to; and before he even realizes it, he has already pressed a soft kiss against your forehead. He closed his eyes, savoring the emotions he was bathing himself as he continued to display such adoring act that you utmostly deserved.  

“There’s nothing you should be saying sorry for.” You held his hand, brushing soft strokes against it before leaning your face closer to kiss it gently. “Also, please remember that we’re not in a hurry. We can always take our time.”

Gaara nodded with a sigh, his eyes expressing what seem to be a tad bit of loneliness and disappointment in himself.

“Do you want to talk about it?” You whispered carefully, following  up with another statement in order to reduce the pressure on your lover. “If you don’t want to, that would be fine as well… we can just cuddle and sleep. If you do need some space to think about it, I wouldn’t mind that, too. Anything you choose to do would be fine, okay? Anything, love.”

Gaara’s eyes softened, his heart and stomach warming and tightening up in a coil as he couldn’t help but feel so vulnerably comfortable with you.

Your eyes widened out of curiosity when you saw Gaara peel his shirt off of his body, only to put it over your head as he gently reached out for each of your hand to assist it towards the armholes of the clothing. “Thought you might start feeling cold…” Gaara mumbled with a soft smile on his face as he continued to gaze at you with a pair of adoring eyes.

“But now… you’ll feel cold.” You poked his naked, toned chest teasingly.

“Not entirely so.” Gaara chuckled. “Because I know you’ll be here all night to keep me warm.” He mumbled with a genuine smile on his face before reaching out for the blanket on the bedroom floor and covering himself from the back before tackling you down on the mattress playfully as both you giggled under the fabric.

“I’ll keep you warm for the rest of my life,” You whispered softly as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders before pressing a kiss on top of his head; his face nestled in between your now clothed breasts. Gaara eyes widened after hearing such words, and with the overpouring gentleness and warmth that you continue to generously offer to him, he couldn’t help but close his eyes to allow himself to bask it in; in ardent hopes that your affections was something he truly deserved. To be adored and cared for in ways that he had given up on a long time ago as means of atonement, he was still far from being forgiving of himself at the moment; but your adoring words, your caring gestures had allowed him to warm up to such idea bit by bit.

You made him feel that he was worth loving after all; and in a complex, innate response that he somehow ends up feeling; he begins to love himself a little more than he’s been robbing himself of for so long.

Every ounce of emotions that he has tried to repress for so long started to gush through his system; and it placed him in a spiralling haywire of everything else in a blur in exception of you.

You.

You…

“I love you.” He thought to himself as his hands started to travel underneath your shirt, his lips peppering soft, pecking kisses towards your neck as he mirrored it himself how you shuddered beneath him when you traced the length of his naked spine upwards to his nape with soft scratch of your nails. “I love you.” The words never left his mouth as he continued to spoke it inwardly, all alone in himself to hear such confessions, “I love you, Y/N. I love you so much it almost hurts to say it.”

With his eyes heavy and his breathing labored, Gaara brushed his lips teasingly against your wet pucker; taking his time slowly as traced the outline of your lower lip with pecking kisses. With a soft sigh, Gaara closed his eyes gently as he leaned his face forward. He suckled on your lower lip; and with a gentle bite that parted your mouth ever so slightly, Gaara inserted his tongue inside your mouth.

Oh, how he fought through his nerves.

Gaara placed his thumb and forefinger above your chin, his other hand resting above the side of your face. Gaara halted the kiss for a second, his heavy-lidded gaze taking in the sight of you before shoving himself towards you once again. You felt his thumb stroke your cheek softly as his middle and ring finger brushed gently against the skin of your ear; the endearing gesturing weakening your composure even more as you found yourself succumbing to his affectionate kiss. His tongue unraveled the depths of your mouth with a slow, loving pace; striking an interesting contrast, as despite his hunger for you, Gaara couldn’t help but still find himself savoring you as if he would never, ever run out of all the time in this world.

The longer his kiss dragged on, the more he realized that it was as if the gentle taste of your wet mouth imprinted a soul-numbing addiction into him. And if you were to directly ask Gaara about it, he knew damn well that beyond the red face and the shaky effort to avoid your penetrating gaze, he’s just too honest to deny that he’s beyond smitten at this point, and the lone thought that he only he could conjure right at this moment is you, and the fact that both of you were basically making out with each other inside his bedroom.

With a firm suck on your tongue, Gaara released you from his fervent, smothering kiss; a smile cracking on his lips as he pressed his forehead against you.

“Am I deemed to be lacking in your standards, or do I somehow… pass just enough?” Gaara chuckled.

“Don’t sell yourself too short now.” You giggled back, sneaking in a pinch on his cheek to tease him. “You’re an amazing kisser. You’re already beyond skilled, to be honest.”

“Really?” Gaara’s cheeks were now rose-colored in bashfulness, as your compliments never failed to make his heart race.

You nodded at him encouragingly, embedding a deeper smile on his lips.

“I love you.” You whispered lovingly to him.

Gaara shut his eyes closed as he felt his chest tightened.        

“Don’t say it again, not now; not yet.” He pleaded silently to himself.

It scares him.

It scares him so much at how weak feels like, at how needy he was of your love.

It scares him, it scares him so much.

“Please, not now.”

“I love you, Gaara,” You mumbled with the most endearing smile he had seen in the entirety of his life.

Gaara shut his eyes closed, squinting his lids tighter and tighter in hopes of cutting off the impending tears that was starting to swell in both corners of his eyes. His eyes were now glassy and heavy, as he started to smother needy, pecking kisses all over your face, down the path of your jaw; licking and suckling on the skin of your neck in shallow and deeper intervals; Gaara traced a linear path down the middle of your clothed breasts; the thin fabric of his shirt allowing a soft silhouette of your naked body underneath to show through.

Gaara threw the blanket off of his body before placing a loose grip on both sides of your hips, his thumbs sneaking a caressing touch on your skin as he began to plant kisses upon your clothed teat; the continuous surge of shudders painting the rest of your body as you arched your back a little with a soft moan when Gaara took in your fabric-covert nipple; suckling on it with a gradual increase of pressure; his face delayed yet in synonymous motion with how the tip of his tongue rolled over the nub in circles. He spat on the fabric, allowing you to feel the cold wetness of his saliva to peer through the threads. Gaara snaked his other hand upwards he placed a soft grasp above your other teat, flicking the side of his middle finger against the other nipple before wrapping it around with his index finger and thumb; encircling and tugging on it occasionally as your stiffened peak began to protrude through the fabric of his shirt.

As his hands went lower once again, hooking his thumb into the waistband of your underwear, he halted momentarily; before trying to meet your equally heavy-lidded gaze; “Can I?” He whispered ever so softly. You nodded in agreement; arching your back upwards as he began to pull away the sole, remaining fabric covering your bare body.

As bold as you may seem to be most of the time, having been seen naked by your lover for the first time had you conscious as well; as you tried to hide your worsening, flushed face underneath the cover of your forearms. As starstrucked as Gaara may be; he knew better now than to stay graveyard-silent this time; as worded expressions of adoration was something essential in establishing comfort during such acts of intimacy. With both hands, Gaara brushed his palms slowly underneath your thighs, stroking it upwards until he gripped you in place by the back of your knees. He pressed soft kisses against it, whispering stuttered, affirmations with a soft, breathy voice.

Gaara leaned downwards to brush a caressing touch against your jaw; smiling ever so gently at your adorable flusteredness. You felt him shuffle above you, and you flinched in surprise when you felt his hot breath fan against the side of your neck; as he was now laying on his side next to you.

“I figured… I should be closer towards you,” Gaara whispered into your ear. “So that you can tell me right away how you want my fingers to please you.” He mumbled breathily as he snaked his arm underneath the back of your head as means of support. “If you’ll allow me, please let me return the favor and make you feel good this time.”

You reached out for his hand that was resting above your thigh, placing it in between of your faces before giving it a soft kiss. You held his index and middle finger, a soft gasp escaping his lips as he watched you take his digits into your mouth; suckling on it with your eyes closed before fluttering them open once again, your eyes darting below you as you guided his hands towards the sopping arousal between your legs.

Gaara watched his guided digits carefully; as you parted his index and middle finger apart, before directing it to press softly up and down the outer lips of your lubricated slit. Gaara felt your arousal tense up slowly underneath his touch. You held his hand by the back of it before shyly commanding his fingers to brush briefly against the sopping center, allowing his fingerpads to trace a linear path upwards until it halted against your now, pulsing nub.

“T- that’s called the clitoris,” You mumbled shyly against him. “Penetrative foreplay such as fingering, or the penetrative act of sex itself,” You cleared your throat, “I- I guess it feels good… but the easiest way to make me cum is by rubbing my clit.” Your breathing went erratic when Gaara started to slowly rub against it under his own initiative. “It could be like… what I taught you earlier. Increase the pressure and pace gradually, do intervals with light and… ahh…” You clenched your thighs together slightly as Gaara’s skillful application of what he’s learning at the moment began to crumble you apart bit by bit. “a- and firm touches. The surrounding area might be less sensitive, but teasing in between would feel just as good,”

“Have you tried doing it on your own?” Gaara whispered, his voice sultry and deep.

“Y- yes…” You gasped softly under his touch.  “A lot…”

A grunt escaped his lips as his stomach coiled tight with the lewd imagery of you teasing your pussy with your own fingers.“C- can I kiss you?”

“Yes…” You moaned softly as he steadied his rounded, rubbing pace against your arousal, alternating between pressing up and down the sides before tracing the inner of your slick itself, only to massage your clit once again. “I- I would love that. You can also play with my breasts, if you’d like…”

Gaara shifted your body a little bit by snaking his forearm behind your upper back, propping his elbow against the mattress before elevating your body by your shoulders as you ended up inching your face closer towards his; with your panting breath now fanning directly across his lips. After a soft, fleeting kiss against your lips, Gaara whispered breathily into your ear, “Lift up your shirt for me, angel.”

You shuddered in response, biting your lips shyly as you hooked your index and middle finger into the hem of the shirt before pulling on it upwards, revealing your naked teats before his eyes. “Hold your breast closer to my mouth…” Gaara mumbled against your ear before leaning his face downwards, snuggling in the side of his face against the suppleness of your breasts before taking in the perk nipple into his hot, wet mouth; eliciting a jolt out of your quivering body. You couldn’t help but cuss under your breath with how erotic it was to the sight to hold your breast for him as he suckled on it greedily.

Everything was starting to feel like you were drowning in a euphoric trance; Gaara, as nervous as he was, was more than willing to compensate for his lack of experience by being an excellent, attentive lover, an enthusiastic one at that; with how he was working your body inside out as if he was desperate to deliver you the utmost euphoria. Every timbre of moan, gasp, a soft mewl or a lustful groan of his name in response to what he was doing, he takes in all of it calculatingly. His pace and pressure has been steady up to this point, his index and middle finger as it being continuously bathed lasciviously by your juices while he rubbed circles against your pulsing clit allowed him to start hearing soft, wet schlick noises, and how your cunt seemed get wetter and wetter by the time he started to toy with your nipples simultaneously aroused him beyond belief.

He wasn’t one for dirty talk, but at least not yet at the moment, but his genuine curiosity at how your body ticks and reacts was something he couldn’t help but wonder about.

“You’re so… wet…”

You couldn’t help but moan under his ministrations; half of it being your honest response with what he just said. “B-because… what you’re doing… it feels so good.” Your body jolted upwards when he used the hand that was holding you by your shoulders to sneak in a teasing, left-to-right flick of his index finger against your other nipple. “Gaara…”

Gaara built up his suckling on your hardened nipple before releasing it in a slow, erotic pop. “Yes, my love?”

“I want you to…” You moaned breathlessly before him as you started to rub your palm against the back of his hand once again. “I want you to finger me…”

Gaara’s breathing hitched in response, the hot air leaking past his panting, open mouth sending shivers down your spine as it continued to fan against your bare neck as he looked up to you. “How would you like me to do it?”

“Insert it slowly, just one finger at first.”

“Do you want me to proceed after every instruction, or would you like me to hear everything first-“

“Gaara.” You chuckled against him, pressing the tips of your index and middle finger to loosen the wrinkle on his forehead as his face started to get serious once again.

“I’m sorry,” He mumbled. “I’m just… worried that I might hurt you.”

“Well… slight discomfort might be something that should be expected, since… it is our first time after all… But, I mean…” You pulled your hand away from guiding his for a brief moment, tucking in a stray of hair behind his ear before pressing a gentle kiss against his forehead. “What I just want to say is, I trust you; I trust you a lot. I know that you will always take care of me no matter what.”

Gaara pouted slightly in response, as he couldn’t help but be so calm and comforted with how you talk to him like that. He just feels so at ease and loved throughout the whole process, at how understanding you were of him. “Tell me right away if you want me to stop, okay?”

You nodded at him with a smile. “I will, don’t worry.”

And with a reassuring nod from both of you at the same time, Gaara rubbed fleeting circles against your nub before slowly slipping in his index finger into your wet slick, sliding it inch by inch, with Gaara halting right at the middle. “You can go deeper.” You chuckled. Gaara followed your instruction, earning a soft sigh from you when it finally entered you fully.

“It’s so… soft.” Gaara mumbled, his voice laced with a hint of wandering curiosity.

“Yeah…” You whispered back with a sigh. “You can explore it, just be gentle and slow on making your way around.”

“Does it hurt?”

“Not really… since I’m very turned on at the moment…” You whispered shyly.  

“Oh.” Gaara chuckled, his voice low and deep. A slight ‘o’ shaped your pucker as a blissful mewl escaped it when Gaara started to trace gentle, stirring motions inside your pussy, having it in intervals as he also stroked the upper walls of your cunt. Gaara took your response as a positive affirmation, making him a little more confident this time.

“S- slip in… another finger…” You mewled.

Gaara looked up to you, his face mixing in both parts of hesitance and impending lust. “Are you sure?” He whispered.

You nodded at him before another yet breathy groan left your panting mouth, as he begun to slowly insert his middle finger into you; the gradual stretch that followed becoming much more evident to feel. A whispered cuss followed through when you felt Gaara grind his clothed cock slightly against your thigh, as it started to get rock hard once again.

You ran your fingers down his chest, snaking down your palm against the plane of his stomach, tracing it downwards until you felt the waistband of his boxer shorts against your fingertips. With a sly smirk, you began rubbing your palm across his boxer shorts; feeling in the silhouette of his hardening arousal protrude through the fabric, making Gaara groan in response.

“Do this,” You gestured a sluggish ‘come hither’ movement with your fingers before returning it on top of Gaara’s boxer shorts. You moaned against him when he started to follow through, going for the gesture once, twice and thrice; retreating it out to rub teasingly against your clit before doing it again and again.

Schlick.

Schlick.

Schlick.

Even Gaara’s knuckles were soaking wet at this point, and he couldn’t help but have the curiosity in regards to how the taste of your pussy would roll on his tongue if he were to insert his fingers into his mouth. Gaara retreated his fingers, inching it closer to his face; parting his index and middle finger apart to see how far would the string of your wetness stretch out. In a lusftful daze, Gaara shoved his fingers into his mouth, suckling on it fervently; licking even the smallest trace of your arousal off of his digits.

Fuck, you taste so good.

Gaara raked his fingernails through the base of your scalp with his other hand, inhaling the scent of your locks as he continued to swallow in the sound of your sopping wet cunt being fingered and rubbed by his very own fingers. A gasp escaped his lips as he felt your palm crawl down underneath his boxers, and before he could muster a mewl of your name, you were already palming the pulsing body of his cock.

“Gaara…” You mewled desperately, making him shudder in response as he kept drowning deeper in the sweet sound of your moans. “I think I’m cumming, fuck…” You darted your eyes down, your heavy-lidded gaze taking in the erotic sight of his fingers entering and disappearing back and forth inside your cunt. The pleasure was beginning to get the best of you, and it wasn’t long until it began to overtake your sense of control over your own body; as your bliss-soaked cries began to get louder and louder to consort the increasing rock of your hips, almost riding against the curved digits that was plunging inside and out of your now tightening pussy. You took your hand from Gaara’s cock, sneaking in a desperate, circular strokes against your clit to coincide with his steadied fingering, “I’m cumming, Gaara! I’m-“  and with a loud, selfish scream of your lover’s name, you bucked your hips upwards; allowing your thighs to writhe and shake as you rode the heights of your orgasm in reckless abandon, whimpering Gaara’s name again and again until you could no longer muster anything incomprehensible. “Yes, yes… ahh…” You slapped your palm against your mouth, muffling out the continous drip of cries until it almost felt like you were choking on your unspoken euphoria as the length of your orgasm continued to render your body weak and shaking.

Fuck.

That felt so good…

“Y/N…”

Gaara was in shock.

His face might not reflect it at the moment, but he was genuinely stupefied by the intensity of it.

“Shit,” You cussed breathily as you tried your best to stablize your labored breathing. “Shit… that was amazing.” There was a hint of utter surprise in your remark as well, and it wasn’t long until you slapped your palms against your flushed cheeks as you began to laugh out of shock as well. “Fuck, did that just happen?”

Gaara sighed loudly as he slumped his back against the mattress, the realization hitting him just as hard as well like a punch on the gut. “Fuck.”

“What did you just-“ The way he cussed for the very first time made you completely erupt in laughter. You clutched your stomach as a slight hint of pain began to stir it, but when you tilted your head towards his face and you met Gaara’s gaze once again, you laughed even harder this time. You grabbed his arm by the wrist as you rested your weight on the side of your body, shifting your position and making him hug you from behind since your back was starting to feel a little sore and heavy. “I can’t believe you just said fuck.”

Gaara chuckled back as he playfully buried his face into the crook of your neck, eliciting a tickled reflex from you. He responded back by nuzzling his face deeper into the curve of it, nudging it left to right until both of you were giggling childishly together. “I loved it…” He whispered softly against the skin of your neck as he hugged you closer towards his body. The way his labored breathing started to calm down as you felt the heaving of his chest subside against your back relaxed you.

“You loved what?” You mumbled back as you entangled your fingers in between his digits, basking in the warmth and suppleness of his palm. You held his hand in front of your face, taking the sight of it with a loving smile as you closed your eyes before pressing a soft peck upon the back of it.

“The way… the way you get so into it…” Gaara retreated his hand briefly to tuck your hair behind your ear and to gently brush the remaining scattered mane away from your neck so that his face was directly pressing against your skin. He returned his hand back to your grip, entangling his fingers with yours on his own. You felt his chin rest upon the plane of your shoulders; his hot breath tickling your ear as he leaned even closer towards you. “Like you can’t get enough of it, like you want so much more… from me…”

“Gaara…” Your voice almost disappeared into thin air as a sigh tore through your sentence; the familiar warmth spreading across your cheeks as you began to feel something stiff pressing against your tailbone. An almost inaudible yelp escaped your lips as he pulled you even closer to him; his embrace getting tighter and tighter by the minute as his breathing began to function erratically once again.

Gaara’s body felt like it was being bathed in the warmth of a calm, burning flame. He felt so hot, so bothered, yet somehow the rising temperature seeps into his skin like a slow, gentle embrace. His chest and throat was beginning to feel dry and constricted, worsening his desperation to breathe. He could feel the deepening timbre of his heartbeat, and he would by lying if he said that he wasn’t terrified. This was all so new… so foreign, to him.  Gaara didn’t know exactly how to respond to it; his rational thinking process wasn’t in tact, leaving him with nothing but a jumble of words and phrases that barely scratched the surface of how he really felt at that moment.

Underneath the shallows of his confusion, he somehow recognized that there was an epiphany beneath it all; its edges jagged and blurry, all because he tries so desperately to see his emotions through a concise, logical standpoint; the one he can easily explain, the one he can support with facts. He has a hard time allowing himself to feel something he can’t comprehend because it feels like it cripples his sense of control; and that alone scares him.

But that wasn’t what he needed, that wasn’t the one who’s going to help him at all.

He was now dealing with a language that his own body speaks for itself; a language that wouldn’t drip perfectly-worded explanations from the tip of his tongue.

He just needs… to feel it as it is.

Every last bit of it.

“I want it bare against me…” You whispered under your breath. Your remark earned an almost exasperated groan from your lover; the build-up of excitement coiling his stomach in an increasing grip making him bury his face deep into your shoulder. A gasp tore through your shallow breathing as you felt the familiar warmth of his cock embedding a girthy silhouette against your lower back.

“Ahh…” He moaned into your ear; the ring of pleasure bathing the timbre of his voice sending mutual shivers on yours and his own spine. He didn’t understand why, but it seemed like allowing himself to verbalize his carnal desires outspokenly somehow increased his sense of euphoria. The way that his bare cock grinded against the supple curve of your tailbone sent him towards the edge. “Y/N…”

You shifted your body upwards and deepened the curve of your back; offering your ass as an enthusiastic opportunity for luscious friction reserved for his private gratification. You stretched your hand behind you, your fingers tiptoeing lines all over his skin before planting a firm grip above his toned ass, giving it a sluggish, relaxing squeeze before resting your grasp above his hipbone as you helped him thrust his body forward. A deeper flush graced his face, the slight shock of having his backside squeezed and the fact that he moaned in response flustering him even more.

“Gaara?” You bit your lip, as you could you feel your heat starting to desire more and more.

“Y- yes…?” Gaara halted the grinding of his hips.

“Would you like to grind it against… me?”

“B- but I already… am…” The realization that chased his scrambled thoughts afterwards had hit him like a whiplash. “Oh…”

“Y- you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to, of course.” You quickly followed up as you felt him slightly tense up behind you. You placed his hand in front of your face before giving it comforting, repeated pecks.

“Y/N…” Gaara mumbled breathily against you. “I want it, too…”

“Gaara…”

“Tell me…” Gaara swallowed the lump in his throat as his mouth began to feel drier. “Tell me… where you want me to grind against… I- I need to know that I did not misunderstand anything.”

If it even was possible, the warmth in your cheeks continued to burn even more.

“Uhm… g- grind it…” The scalding heat enveloping the rest of your body was starting to make you feel dizzy. “Against my pussy…”

“Shit.” He cussed breathlessly, his barely audible voiced laced down with a mix of panic and arousal.

The way your heartbeat sank your chest deeper in every pulse paralleled his own bodily reaction; yours and his own breathing loud and labored. A subtle yelp of anticipation left your panting mouth when you felt his palm run a linear path down behind your thigh; halting upon contact against the back of your knee before parting your thighs apart; assisting you to plant your foot behind his body. You couldn’t help but blush even harder at the lewd nature of your disposition.

…And the fact that you loved it like that made it even worse.

“A- are you sure that you really want to do this?” Gaara cooed into your ear.

You hooked your thumb into the waistband of his boxer shorts to tug it down even lower.

“I am, Gaara…”

You darted your gaze down below, a bite on your lip tearing through your moan as you felt the stiff silhouette of Gaara’s cock hovered in between your sopping folds. You rested your back against Gaara’s body, tilting your face towards him to meet his gaze; with a slight nod from you, Gaara took a deep breath before thrusting his hips upwards.

Ever so slow… and almost unbearably shallow.

“Ohh…” You mewled as the wet, spongy tip of his cock brushed briefly against your still, sensitive clit.

I guess it could be said that there was almost a certain feel of fullness to it. His cautious pace allowed you to take a fleeting sip of what is yet to be unraveled and, it’s doing nothing but make you beg for more. “Grind it deeper, Gaara… Please…”

Gaara’s face was in a continuous wince of bliss; as he couldn’t help but almost salivate pantingly in response to the overwhelming affection and sensation that he was currently taking in all for himself alone. He could feel himself shudder in pleasure as you started to get dripping wet once again; making it easier for his dick to grind up and down your soaking slit. The starting point of his thrust would begin at the sensitive area just below the actual entrance of your slick before having his veined, thick-girthed cock separate the folds of your cunt ever so deliciously. The suppleness of your labia clung onto his stiffened member with a bare hint of grip as he continued to rub it lewdly against you. Gaara planted kiss upon the roundness of your shoulder before resting his forefinger and middle finger on top of opposite sides of your folds before spreading them apart, having your throbbing clit further out exposed; making it much more easier for the tip of his cock to grind against your nub.

Again and again.

“Fuck…” You shut your eyes tight before fluttering them open once again, groaning at the sight of the pink tip of his stiffness peaking through your groin.

“I- I’m a my limit, Y/N…” Gaara whispered weakly, his breathing rendered erratic for worse. “I think I’m going to cum again…”

You did notice that his thrusts were getting sloppier and shaky, but you wanted to keep the momentum and steadiness in tact so that your lover gets the best out of his impending orgasm. “L- Lay down… on your back…”

With a flushed face and a gasping mouth, Gaara nudged his face affectionately against your cheek before pulling the pillows closer to him. He laid on his back, a sense of nervousness and anticipation peeking through his heavy lidded gaze. You tugged on the fabric of his boxer shorts before peeling them all the way down. You planted your knees down against the mattress, straddling either side of his hips. The hem of his shirt hung way too low on your body, so you decided to pull the fabric over your head and set it aside. Gaara couldn’t help but sigh exasperatedly at such erotic sight of his fully naked beloved sitting on top of him. You leaned your body forward, placing your palm on top of the other as you rested it above his upper abdomen; the position of your arms rendering your tits squeezed together. “Y- you’re about to cum soon, right?”

“Y- yes, my love…” Gaara groaned as he began to feel your sopping flesh grind against him once again. The abundance of your juices rendered his groin and scarlet pubic hair to be glistening wet. You rocked your hips a little farther behind, allowing your cunt to not only stroke his pulsing cock, but his balls as well. A loud, uncontrolled moan tore through Gaara’s quiet cries when you began to thrust forward, the soft impact sending an electrifying jolt on his trembling body.

“K- keep going…” Gaara covered half of his face with his forearm, the intensity of watching you in such a compromising act becoming a little too overwhelming for him.

There was just something so… dirty and erotic about the whole thing. The fact that the act was nestling perfectly in between two, utterly separate things just felt so carnal. Both of you weren’t technically having sex, but at the same time, there was this bare feeling of your cunt being lusciously filled by the thick girth of his cock, and there was a teasing taste of what’s it’s like for his dick to be choked by the suppleness and wetness of your pussy. It was the state of not doing it but already feeling a rather addicting hint of it that drove both of you to the very edge.

“I’m cumming…” Gaara whimpered pantingly as he shrugged his shoulder tight, and with a firm, forward thrust of your body, Gaara shot his thick load all over his abdomen; some of it even reaching his chest. You retreated back your body to see how his dick trembled uncontrollably against his lower abdomen as it continued to spurt his thick cum before thrusting your pussy forward once again; earning a loud cry from Gaara’s panting mouth. His chest heaved up and down heavily, little breathy sighs of bliss escaping him as he let his orgasm run its course. “Ah… ahh… Y/N…” He mumbled in between his gasps.

Gaara flinched when he felt your index finger trace a line on top of his stomach. You brushed his forearm away from his hand so that he gets to see you tasting his cum of off your finger; the very sight of it covering his skin with goosebumps. Even with such an erotic face; you cracked a gentle, reassuring smile towards him before reaching out for his shirt, using the fabric to wipe the remaining cum off of his abdomen. Gaara’s eyes softened, the beat of his heart ringing with an affectionate and warm pulse as he watched you take care of him ever so gently. “That was great, Gaara…”

He didn’t understand why, his thought process at the moment was in deep shambles. Gaara thought that was all to it, but his chest was still getting warmer, and his stomach was still getting tighter. He was already begging himself to stop because it was becoming almost unbearable to feel, but his emotions still paced through and through. He was beginning to feel lightheaded due to his debilitating ability to breathe; worsening his impending meltdown, and with a soft caress of your hand on his cheek, and that ever so endearing, comforting smile; he might have shut his eyes tight as early as he was able to, but his tears were already streaming down his face.

A shocking jolt of panic sent your body to sit down beside him, your chest feeling like it was in a tight, choking grasp. “Hey, hey…” You whispered softly as you helped him sit down, relaxing his back against the headboard. You wrapped an arm behind his shoulders, cooing out affirming words as sobbed quietly into the back of his hand. You pulled him into a hug by the back of his neck, your other hand combing fingers through his hair as you pressed a kiss against his forehead. You felt his arm snake around your body from behind. “It’s okay, Gaara… I’m he-“

Your sentence was cut off when Gaara placed a soft grip on top of your jaw, gestured your face towards him, and pressed his lips against yours. Gaara’s kiss lingered with so much affection and longing that you couldn’t help succumb every bit of yourself to it. He propped his knee beside your opposite hip before shifting his position and situating his body on top of your lap without breaking the kiss even for a second. He was groaning audibly into your mouth as you were rendered almost drunk of how intoxicating the taste of his mouth was. You were already cornered by your lover as you felt the headboard press firm against your back, but Gaara was still shoving himself towards you, feral and starving as he lapped on your tongue selfishly.

“G- Gaara…” You whimpered breathlessly in between as he continued to tower over you, the sound of your wet mouth being explored by your lover’s tongue eagerly sending shivers down your spine. His kisses grew desperate by the minute as he chased the diminishing air in his lungs, and with a low growl, Gaara released you from his grasp; dropping his head down right away to his lap in order to avoid your gaze. The sound of his pants dominating over yours as his shoulder heaved up and down with his constricted chest. His knuckles turned white above his lap, a visible frustration being out in display as you stared at how he clenched his fists tightly into a ball. You reached out for it, stroking the back of his hand with your thumb. His eyes softened at the sight; your caring gesture making him hold your hand in front of his face before pressing a kiss against the back of it, and before you know it, he has already leaned his body forward; lips brushing against yours in a much more gentle peck.

“I’m scared…” Gaara mumbled under his breath as he buried the side of his head into your neck, his face angled towards the side so he could speak clearly.

“Of what?” You replied worriedly.

“Of this.”

His answer felt like it jabbed a sharp sensation into your chest, but you swallowed your reaction to allow him to speak his mind. You stayed quiet, the silence you offered paving way for his faint, nervous sighs to be much more audible.

“I’m terrified of this, Y/N.” Gaara said weakly as he reached out for your hand and rested it above his heaving chest. Gaara landed his gaze down upon your hand, stroking the back of it with his thumb as he allowed your palm to press contact against his skin. It was faint to the touch, but the familiarity of it made it easier for you to understand what he was trying to say. His heartbeat was slow, yet deep; the weight of its pulse making it harder to bear than a quick-paced one. It was a type that laced a hint of pain with how much love and affection it rung with.

You remained silent, but you brushed your lips on top of his sweat-dampened hair in hopes of relaxing him even just a little bit. He couldn’t help but shut his eyes tight as his chest hammered harder againt your palm; the smallest of your gestures enveloping him in so much tenderness that he had never had the luxury of receiving for so long.

“I had never felt something like this…” Gaara smiled to himself as he began to think of all the memories that you two had since the very beginning. “It’s so… warm… it feels like a lot of things all at once…” He chuckled as his words began to run out again. It was frustrating to not be able to express one’s self eloquently, but he was so flustered at the moment that he was beginning to derive the slightest humor in it. “I have never felt such joy, but at the same time, I have never felt such dread…”

You stroked his hair with your fingertips, not even a word leaving your mouth to allow him to speak comfortably.

“It feels like it’s reaching out to me, like it’s telling me that it was fine… it was a safe space that I can be vulnerable around with once again.” He breathed in before speaking once again.” That I can be happy without having to put up… so many walls…” His voice almost seemed like it was about to disappear into thin air. “But at the same time, I do know that once it disappears, I will never be the same again; and that terrifies me.”

“Gaara…”

“But… do remember that you don’t have to return my feelings for the rest of your life, you don’t have to promise me anything.” He mumbled with a weak smile. “I am already more than grateful for what you have graced my life with.”

Your chest got heavier and heavier by the second as you continued to listen to your lover.

“When the time comes… where being with me harbors nothing but pain and loneliness, you are free to be on your own.” He whispered faintly against you, his words becoming harder to discern in between his choked sniffle and heavy breathing. “I will not take that away from you, my love.”

“Gaara…” Your voice croaked as your tears began to swell up on the corner of your eyes. You knew it yourself that if he says another word, your crippled control over your emotions would fail completely.

“Either way, no matter where you choose to go,” Gaara pulled back his face from your shoulder, returning his gentle caress on the side of your cheek before pressing a kiss against your forehead. “For me, it will always be you.”

Your eyes fluttered open briefly before shutting them tight once again as your tears began to stream down your cheeks. In one swift motion, you pulled Gaara downwards and dove your face forward for a kiss. He entangled his fingers deep into your locks, his grip laced with a gentle firmness as you reciprocated it by wrapping your arms behind his nape to pull him closer to you. “I’m scared, too…” You whispered weakly in between his kisses. “But I can’t help it, Gaara. I just can’t.” You sniffled in between as you continued to tug his body downwards until you were once again in the same position as you were earlier; back pressed hard against the headboard, mouth wide open, breathless. “I love you, Gaara.”

Gaara growled lowly into your mouth as your words continued to set his body in flames. Hearing it again jabbed a crippling shot against his sense of control. “I love you…” You continued to moan pantingly beneath him.

“Please…” Gaara pleaded softly as he grew weaker and weaker by the minute, his voice cracking upon his pleas.

“I love you, Gaara… I really do…” Your voice broke as you stroked his cheeks softly.  

Underneath the entrancing, lingering stare he has you under, there was a deep-seated conflict that resides within himself. It was a beautiful imagery that he found himself embedding deep into his mind; the way your lips curved and parted as those three words left your mouth. He kept hearing it,; the exact, gentle timbre of your voice, despite the fact that you were now silently breathing under him as you stared back at him adoringly. It feels like he was nakedly vulnerable against it, it feels like a trance that’ll make him succumb every bit of himself just to hear it once again.

Gaara dove his face forward, his kisses emanating nothing but pure need, a raw desperation to remind himself that this was indeed happening, that this was his reality now; that after all the years he has suffered alone, he was now finally given the very chance to fall in love and to be loved back ever so genuinely. “You’re really here, right?” Gaara mumbled desperately in between his fervent kisses as he snaked his hand behind the back of your head, entangling his fingers through your locks gently as he angled your face better for a much more deeper kiss. He closed his eyes before leaning for another kiss, nibbling and sucking on your lip; swallowing your taste hungrily as if he wanted to own you all for himself. “When I wake up tomorrow, you’ll still be here with me, right?”

The further you swam in the very depths of his affections, the more you it terrified you; as his deepest conflicts and resolutions mirrored exactly how you felt about him; and to be so mutually entwined with one another almost felt too good to be true.

But, it was.

It was the truth.

“I’m never going to leave you,” You whispered back as you stroked the side of his face with your fingers, tucking in strays of his beautiful, red locks as you returned the urgency of his kisses ever so passionately. “When you wake up tomorrow, I’ll be the first one you’ll see. When you sleep tomorrow night, I’ll be the last one you’ll see. I promise, Gaara. I promise you that. You’re not going to be alone anymore, I’ll always be with you no matter what.”

His tears flew free now, basking in every ounce of emotions that he has repressed for so long. He was right, he thought to himself. Love really did feel like a lot of things happening all at once. He had never felt so free, adored, terrified, yet ironically calm at the same time. It was a complex emotion that so fucking consuming, and he no longer bring himself to stop. He had never felt so willing to surrender himself without any ounce of doubt.

A genuine smile graced his tear-stained face, a grin so truthful that he couldn’t help but bask it in with his eyes closed as he continued to press pecking kisses upon your wet face. “Take me as you please. I am yours, forever.” He held your knuckles in front of his face, fluttering his eyes closed as he dropped kisses on it endearingly.

“Take me as you please, too…” You mumbled with a soft smile before wrapping your forearms behind his neck once again, tugging his body down as you laid your back once again on top of the mattress. You raked your fingers through the base of his scalp as you continued to swallow his wet groans into your open mouth, moaning just as blissfully as his kisses continued set your body in fire. You pulled back from the fervent kiss, darting the tip of your tongue out to lick a path up his throat; making Gaara shudder breathlessly as he felt your pucker nibble and suckle the edge of his jaw before biting in softly the spot below his neck.

Gaara snaked his hand behind your nape, interlocking his fingers with your locks and planting a firm fist of it as he pulled it backwards, allowing him lap on the skin of neck your selfishly. A sudden moan from his wet mouth vibrated against your skin when you sank his hips lower and you bucked your body upwards to have a sly grind of your soaking slit against his now hardening cock. “Gaara…” You mewled breathlessly under him as he began to thrust his hips in return, the familiar feeling of having his member rub against you once again eliciting strings of curses from your lips. You halted for a moment, striking an unwavering gaze towards his own heavy-lidded eyes as both of you exchanged hot exhales of breath. “I’m… ready…”

The paralysing beat of his heart began to pound once again. “Y/N…”

“I’m ready, Gaara…” You smiled softly as you stroked his cheek. “I’m yours, forever…”

Gaara was not speaking, he was just breathing heavily above you; scarlet locks framing his beautiful face messily. His eyes spoke a thousand of words that will probably never leave his mouth, yet somehow, hearing it wasn’t something you needed at all just to understood what he wanted to say. His glassy, seafoam eyes continued to tear through you ever so seductively yet endearingly. It’s cripplingly intimidating yet ironically comforting at the same time. It was a pile of irony that you’ll probably never be able to explain in this lifetime. It wasn’t simply black and white…

He really was just simply a million of beautifully-threaded complexities.

“Make love with me…” You whispered lovingly underneath him.

Your words sent his brain into a haywire; the shock setting in making his chest heave nervously. Gaara swallowed a gulp before taking in a sharp breath. “Did I hear you right, my love?” He mumbled with an almost chuckling voice as manifested by a flustering panic.

You nodded before giggling back at his cuteness.

Gaara held your face by your jaw, his thumb gently rubbing against your wet lower lip. “Let me hear it again, my love… just so I am sure…”

You bit his thumb playfully; the surprised, wince of pain in his facial expression that made his one eye close making your heart beat faster. Gaara pulled back his thumb from your lips before plunging it into his mouth, sucking off the small trails of your saliva clinging onto it. “I’m listening.”

Your gaze drifted to the side before meeting his steady stare once again. “M… make love with me, Gaara…” The sudden realization hit you, making you whisper a soft “shit” under your breath, rendering your lover’s forehead furrow in confusion. “I… uh… That’s not really my decision alone. I mean, only if you’re ready. W- we don’t have to-“

Gaara pressed a firmer kiss this time, nibbling your lower lip into his mouth before parting your pucker apart with his curious tongue.

“You… really have the best way… of cutting me off when I speak…” You whispered in between his kisses, the way both his hands held either sides of your jaw in place with a gentle hint of possessiveness reigniting the warmth in your stomach.  Your amused, chuckling giggle against his kiss embedded a soft grin on his mouth as well. Gaara pulled back from the kiss with a gentle smile gracing his flushed face. He did not cry for long, but his nose was already flushed red; eyes a little swollen and pink. An embarrassed chuckle from your lover tore through the brief silence of just staring at each other.

“I am ready…” He whispered to you. “But are you… really ready, tonight?” His arms was starting to get sore from carrying the weight of his body so he nestled his body softly above you. Gaara traced a line upon your cheek with the tip of his nose, before speaking once again. “Are you on protection? I might get you…” His breathing becoming gradually erratic, his voice ringing even deeper this time “…pregnant.”

“Shit…” You whispered breathlessly, the warmth in your cheeks getting more botheringly scalding. Your cuss elicited a deep, amused chuckle from your lover. Knowing that a part of why he said it like that was to tease you a little, and you knew better than to not clap back. “There’s no need to worry. You can cum inside me all you want.” You mumbled seductively, easily eliciting a flustered groan from your lover.

“Y/N?”

“Hmm?”

“W- would it be okay if… y- you were on top?” He asked, his voice a little shaky and worried. “I just… I just thought that such position would allow you to have a better control on how you want it to go… I want to give you that choice; I don’t want to hurt you, my love.”

Your chest fluttered at his caring words. “Stop making me fall in love with you more, Gaara. I wouldn’t be able to get out of it if you keep doing that.”

“Well… that is the point.” He chuckled before laying his back against the headboard and gripping you softly by your waist as you sat down above his lap. Gaara asked you to bent over slightly towards him, the curve of your spine pushing your ass up in the air as you wrapped your arm around his shoulder and buried your face into his neck. “I’ll make sure you’ll never get out of it.” Gaara whispered to your ear before plunging his index and middle finger into his mouth, coating it abundantly with his saliva before reaching out for the increasing heat resting between your legs. Acting upon what you have taught him, Gaara teased the either sides of your labia first; his touch barely even hovering with how light it was. In every passing second, the pads of his fingers began to gradually sink a little deeper against your skin; a look of subtle wonder gracing his face as he felt the muscle tense up bit by bit as he continued to stroke it. You spat on your palm before snaking it towards his groin, and before Gaara could moan back, you were already working his cock with your sloppy fist.

Gaara began to rub the length of his digits from left to right upon the sensitive center of the slit, the sly gesture resulting to a wet, slapping sound that made his cock twitch harder in between your sensually-pumping fist. Gaara traced a vertical path towards your throbbing clit before teasingly flicking the tip of his middle finger upon it. It wasn’t long until he began knead circular strokes against your nub, the intensity of its pressure crawling gradually as he swallowed your mewls of bliss directly into his ear.

“Finger me…” You panted as you redirected your face towards him. “Please…”

Gaara’s breathing hitched after hearing you beg. With a soft nudge of Gaara’s face bumping against yours, he carefully inserted his index finger into your pussy, a jolt of euphoria shaking your composure when the side of the knuckle of his middle finger brushed against your clit as he allowed your walls to get used to the feeling of his lone digit nestling inside. It wasn’t long until Gaara plunged his middle finger inside as well, eliciting a soft sigh from you as you continued to play with his stiffening cock in return.

Although his fingering was still very, very cautious, he was starting to get the hang of it, and is now slowly getting the confidence in himself that he could make you feel good under his touch. He maneuvered his digits gently in a stirring motion, and the way your walls wrapped around his fingers wetly and tightly was a sensation he was starting to get addicted to. Gaara’s cock was now significantly erected at this point, its pink tip beginning to erupt with a clear, slippery pre-cum that made his cock glisten wet under the soft light in the room. When he began to the flick his index and middle finger to stroke your sensitive spot, you began to lose your focus on toying with his dick.

Surprisingly, Gaara wasn’t just shoving his fingers back and forth. It was as if his cautious, patient nature rendered him to not be impulsive on his foreplay. He was taking his sweet… sweet time, his hand on your jaw caressing your face as he whispered how pretty you were; the tender, endearing words leaving his lips coinciding erotically with how slow and sensual he was; the thrust of his fingers hinting enough firmness, curling it up as he applied the perfect pressure against to elicit your impending cum bit by bit from your cunt. Not being able to bear it anymore, you crawled your lips towards his ear and gave him your permission.

“Gaara… I’m ready…”

With his chest tightening even harder with your voice dripping off like a sweet honey from an overpouring pot, Gaara pressed a soft kiss against your cheek. “Thank you… for trusting me…” He whispered with sa smile. Gaara assisted you once again in a sitting position, his erected cock pressing against your lower abdomen this time. “I- I promise… I wouldn’t do anything that will hurt you. Tell me everything, okay?”

You nodded before him with a reassuring smile. You lifted your body off of his lap before gripping the base of his cock, holding it in place as you grinded your clit against the tip of it before redirecting its angle and slowly taking it in inside of you.

You sighed breathlessly as you dropped your gaze down his cock, with the pink, wet tip of it slowly disappearing into your tight, wet cunt. Gaara carefully held you on place with his faint grip on your waist, the contortion of pain upon your beautiful face rendering him worried; but he trusted you as much you do with him. You bit your lip as you began to sink your body deeper into his length, the thick girth of his cock beginning to topple immensely in comparison to what his fingers had to offer. “S- so… big… Gaara…” You mumbled erotically, your remark reddening Gaara’s face for worse as he felt his cock twitch harder with how you complimented him like that.

There was an immense pressure that pooled upon your lower abdomen; a hint of pain in it, a burning discomfort as you may say. You shoved two fingers into your mouth before snaking it down towards your clit, rubbing it slowly and simultaneously as you continued to swallow in his cock into your pussy in order to ease yourself off of the discomfort. Gaara’s gaze dropped to the side, still wasn’t used to seeing you it right before his eyes for you to play with yourself like that while you’re literally shoving his dick right into your cunt. When you finally took in the rest of his length, your upper body collapsed above him alongside a relieved sigh ripping from your chest.

“Take your time, my love…” Gaara cooed sweetly as he brushed your hair away from your face before dropping a kiss against your forehead. “Y- you’re doing great, okay?”

His last sentence made your giggle against his neck.

“I’m sorry…”

“Aww, I didn’t mean it like that...” You propped your forearms against on both opposite planes of his shoulder before bumping your forehead against his. “In fact, I actually felt incredibly motivated.”

Gaara had a small pout on his lips. “You are being… sarcastic…”

“I’m not!” You pouted back before nudging your face against him playfully. “And I’d like to say that you’re doing great, too…” You giggled before pressing a kiss against his nose. “So, uh… what do you think, about this?”

He hummed in thought and cleared his throat, the flush in his cheeks getting tad bit deeper. “It’s so hot… inside you…” Gaara mumbled, his voice hinting with curiosity. “Soft, and tight…” The fact that he was literally describing how his lover’s cunt felt around his dick was enough to sent him to the edge.

“D- does it feel good?”

Gaara nodded bashfully, a gasp tearing through his supposed shut mouth when you grinded your hips teasingly against him.

“You feel good, too…” You replied. The burning sensation was starting to dissipate bit by bit, a tiny presence of it lingering still but the feeling of fullness was starting to arouse you more. “I’m going to start… moving a bit…” You mused, and with a nod from Gaara, he helped you buck your body upwards, allowing your slick to grind against the girth of his cock to increase your arousal even harder. “S- steady your cock in place, Gaara…” The way your words rolled off from the tip of your tongue made Gaara groan in response. He gripped the base of it immediately, gaze straight upon as he watched your pussy sank down to swallow in his dick; the familiar warmth and wetness making his face wince in bliss; making him cuss even louder when he darted his stare upon your face, a trace of euphoria gracing it as you felt the gradual pleasure nestling in between the pressure of his cock reentering your cunt.

“Ahh…” You moaned shakily, a satisfied sigh exiting your panting mouth before both of you groaned almost in unison when you stirred your hips in a circular motion, allowing the whole length of it to grind against the unexplored, sensitive spots all over in one move. Gaara couldn’t help the soft hiss that left him as the tightness of your pussy choked his cock even more. You planted a firm grip on his shoulder before raising your body once again and allowing yourself to get used to the newly-discovered euphoria of having your pussy by stretched deliciously bit by bit by the scalding, thick girth of his veined cock. “Gaara… fuck…”

Although drowning in bliss at the same time, his concern for you didn’t even blur for a second. “D- does it still hurt?” His voice gentle and sweet.

“A- a little bit sore, yeah…” You murmured back. “But it’s… it’s beginning to feel better, I think…”

“Can I do anything… that might help ease the pain?” Gaara wanted to touch you; he wanted to play with your breasts or stroke your clit in between, theorizing that the pleasure of such acts might distract you from the pain. But initiation wasn’t something that has sat comfortably inside his resolve just yet, and the last thing he wanted was to do something that’ll make it harder for you to adjust. “Tell me anything, I- I’ll do it, my love.”

“Kiss me…” You mumbled breathlessly. “Play with my body… everything you did earlier to make me feel good, y- you can do it.” Towering over him, you began to initiate a kiss, your tongue eagerly exploring the rest of his panting cavern. You felt his grip leave your waist, the suppleness of his palm spreading warmth down your hips before wandering gesture began to squeeze your ass. The way his pressured knead sank into your muscle almost sedated you to utter relaxation. “I love that…” You mewled against his mouth before leaving a teasing bite on his lower lip. “I’m going to start moving now.” You mumbled before beginning to rock your hips back and forth.

“Damn it.” Gaara cursed under his breath as the sight of your naked, glistening body on top of him, and the way his cock disappeared into the wetness of your pussy flashed before his very own eyes. A sight so erotic, a sensation so pleasurable, that he was beginning to blur his sense of control as he began to grab your ass a little harder.

You were beginning to get the hang of it, as the thought alone in itself of making love with Gaara started to bathe your body in bliss. Apart from the literal pleasure that your body is going through at the moment, to hear him moan your moan, to see his flushed face; forehead furrowed, eyes shut tight and a firm bite on his lip was another form of indirect stimulation that made your body writhe in bliss. With your back starting to feel sore from leaning over, you arched your spine, hands placing a grip on his knees before planting both of your knees inches before the opposite sides of his hips, spreading yourself wide open for his eyes to feast on.

“Shit…” Gaara whispered with a shaky voice.

“It feels so good…” You kept mewling, your throat beginning to feel drier by the minute.

“Ahh… ahh, Y/N…” Gaara moaned louder as you began to rock your hips in a steadying pace that had his arousal being milked tight on a carnal static. The sight of your tits bouncing up and down was a very sensual visual that he kept swallowing all for himself, and an even louder cuss left his panting mouth when you caught a peek of your swollen clit protruding through your folds. Taking back a hand from your ass, Gaara shoved his thumb into his mouth, suckling and covering it abundantly with spit before pressing his palm against your groin, stretching his hand out so his thumb is able to reach your throbbing nub. A loud moan screa m of his name escaped you, sending him in a jolt-awakening panic.

“N- no no no, please… keep going.” You moaned above him, your nails sinking into his thighs as the sensation of your impending orgasm began to crawl. “Please, please. Keep going, Gaara.” You cried out.

With a firm gulp, Gaara resumed his gesture. He shifted his initial approach, with his hand now laying a grasp on your inner thigh as his thumb sneaked in lewd, kneading circles against your pulsing nub. The sensation of your clitoris being toyed with adding to his cock stroking the circumference of your entire sensitive cunt, the familiar knot in your lower abdomen began to thrive; the burning eagerness to chase it embedding itself so fucking deep into your skin. You repositioned your body, your hands now gripping the plane of his shoulders as every firm bounce of your body sinking him deeper and deeper into the mattress. The weight of your body clashing down on him was another yet sensation he was starting to get addicted to. The words that wanted to leave his mouth at the moment was something he’s barely holding on to suppress.

The urgency was getting the best of you, but the rougher you chased it, the easier it made for Gaara’s to feel his orgasm dawning upon him. It was too much, just too much. Every inch of his body was starting to feel immensely sensitive and you yourself began to notice that his cock was starting to swell so much harder inside your cunt. Gaara was trying his best, but overwhelming sensation was starting to cripple all kinds of autonomy that he had on his body. The rub on your clit was starting to get unsteady, and it was as if Gaara was almost starting to pull his body away from you with the mind-numbing stimulation that had him throwing his head back against the pillow as he unconsciously bucked his hips upwards. “Y/N…”

It felt like a never-ending stack of pleasure that continued to pile over one another until he couldn’t breathe. He was almost ready to beg his own cock to just cum already because it was starting to feel so much to take. The foreign euphoria that was penetrating every bit of pore on his skin for the first time almost broke him.

“Y/N!” He growled underneath you.

Your focus on your orgasm wavered as soon as you heard what was leaving his mouth.

His moans were so fucking hot.

His voice rang with utter haste, almost breaking in desperation as he tried to apologize profusely that he was going to cum earlier than you. You kept your pace steady and firm, more than eager to provide him yourself the very first coital orgasm of his life. “Please, please kiss me, my love.” He begged with an open mouth, a dribble of saliva beginning to stain the corner of his lip. Before you could even muster a reply, he had already pulled you down with his arms wrapped behind your neck, sloppily letting his tongue lick everything he could as his thought process began to crumble for worse. When you noticed him starting to lose his breath, you pulled back from his lips and pressed your forehead against him, allowing the hot, shallow inhale and exhales of air fan across your equally gasping mouth. His chest, throat and face were flushed bright red as he continued to writhe beneath you.

“I- I’m cumming, Y/N…” Gaara rubbed his face needily against yours.

“I love you, Gaara.” You whispered back.

And that was it.

The last straw of fervent intimacy that drove him straight towards the edge.

“I’m yours,” He mumbled desperately in a hush as his face contorted with the deepest form of euphoria that had him furrowing his forehead and shutting his eyes tighter than ever. He fluttered them open once again, his glassy, seafoam eyes tearing through you in a passionate daze. “please… please t- tell me that I belong to you, Y/N...” He pleaded, his voice cracking in desperation as he felt another wave of tears swelling on both corners of his eyes once again.

“You’re mine, Gaara.” You moaned back breathlessly. “Y- you belong with me, you belong with me forever…”

He cried out again and again and with the last downward thrust of your hips colliding with his, his body shook beneath you, his toes curling in bliss before dragging his feet towards his body, the rise of his thighs elevating you slightly. Under his orgasmic instinct, Gaara shoved his hips upwards, burying his cock deeper into you as strings of hot cum exploded deep inside your cunt. Your eyes widened at the sensation; his cock was at its most rigid state and it was twitching so fucking hard you can feel it pulse against your walls. The pure sensuality of having your lover bury his cum deep inside you was a whole new level of intimacy and affection. Knowing that your orgasm was just a nudge away from coming; you slipped off of his dick, the thick cum leaving down your pussy adding another form of lubrication as you began to grind your slit desperately against his girth; and with a firm, fifth thrust, a powerful orgasm began to wash over you. You gripped the base of his cock and reinserted his still cumming dick into your cunt, the hard, clamping motion of your walls choking his length eliciting some of the remaining cum from his arousal. Your body writhed above him desperately, not even a moan leaving your mouth as the utter, raw bliss was so intense that you couldn’t even muster a slightest sound. You collapse onto him, both of you panting heavily as the immense, euphoric shock continued to linger inside the two of you.

Both of you whispered each other’s name endearingly in content.

There was a comfortable silence that tied you both beautifully, a moment where everything just felt so raw and perfect that no words were ever needed to leave each other’s lips. A faint sniffle woke you out of your stupor, and before you could even redirect your face towards him, Gaara hugged you tight to his chest.

“I don’t know why… I keep tearing up like this…” He chuckled as he nestled his face into your locks, his voice cracking up a little.

You hugged him even tighter, and when he heard a barely audible sob from you; evidenced by the feeling of dampness staining his chest wet, his chest throbbed harder and another yet quiet cry he desperately tried to restrain had left him once again.

You shifted in your position, situating your self next to him as you laid your weight on the side of your body. Gaara proceeded to mirror your angle, as you two are now facing each other directly with both, gentle smiles upon your tear-stained faces. He held your hand against his chest; allowing you to feel the very beat of his heart; calm, deep, and genuinely affectionate. What he proceeded to do after a soft, weak smile shakened your entire resolve.

“I love you…” He mouthed silently before curling his lips in another yet genuine smile.

Audible words had never left his mouth, but if there’s one thing you almost heard, it was the beat of his heart that throbbed even harder after those three words as he held your hand tighter against his chest.

“I feel so scared that I can’t say it,” He slowly mouthed once again before chuckling weakly. “But I love you, Y/N…”

“I love you, too…” You mouthed back with a soft giggle as you used your other hand to stroke his tear-stained cheeks; your eyes barely fluttering open as you allowed yourself to bask in every ounce of emotions you were going through at the moment, and suddenly…

It was harder to breathe.

You were beyond stunned, the overpouring emotions you did not expect for had suddenly washed all over you, body and soul, and it has robbed you off of even the tiniest bit of chance to speak.

There was nothing, really.

Nothing but heavy breathing, a shared grace of a gentle, fulfilled smile between the two of you, an affectionate nudge of your equally-flushed cheek against his as you allowed yourself to have the warm of his face plant soft kisses upon your skin.

It was as if everything had stopped, and there was nothing in this world at this very moment that mattered but you, and him.

Gaara’s hands roamed, fingertips laced with prudence yet ardent need to know you, to feel you, to be one, with you.

The connection binding the two of you began to feel ethereally transcedental…

…And Gaara felt it, too.

“Do you feel it, too?” Gaara whispered weakly, his eyes gentle and loving as he reached for your wrist and held your hand in front of his face. He shut his eyes closed before placing an endearing kiss upon the back of it; his pucker brushing soft pecks upon every tip of your five fingers before carefully dragging his kisses down your palm. Gaara’s eyes fluttered open to take in the beautiful sight of your face as you watched him caress your wrist with his soft, wet lips.

Gaara had the utmost respect towards you. He viewed with the highest reverence, and he had always seen you as strong, independent person.

But tonight…

Tonight was different.

He never knew he could feel so much for someone until he met you, but at this moment, everything he had ever known was almost incomparable to what he feels at this very moment. You were a gift to him. To feel your warm, supple skin, to hear you breath, to listen to your voice… was a gift. He was looking directly through the uttermost tenderness inside of you, a sense of delicateness residing within your very soul that has ignited the fire inside of him to to love and protect at all costs.

“I feel it too, Gaara…” You whispered endearingly before planting a soft kiss against his lips and pressing your forehead against his. “If you’ll have me, I would give my life to protect you, too.”

Your words made his chest tighten, and before you knew it, he was already holding your body against him; an arm snaking in between the side of your head and the mattress as he pulled you closer towards him. Gaara caressed the supple, roundness of your shoulder, tiptoeing the tips of his digits down the blades of it before petting you by your hair and kissing your forehead gently. “I will always keep you safe, no matter what.” He whispered.

Noticing the slight shudder on your skin, Gaara reached out for the blanket laying messily in between your bodies. With a gradually increasing loudness of cute, annoyed grunts as he tried to yank it out freely under his body, he was finally able to cover the halves of both of your nakedness under it. You couldn’t help but chuckle in amusement, but also blush at how endearing his gesture was.

“I feel so sticky right now.” You giggled. Gaara had that “me, too” look on his face despite the lack of verbal reply. “We went to bed at like… 10 PM.” You stared at your fingers as you tried to count. “It was probably around 2 AM when you woke up… It’s probably quarter to four now.”

“I think so too, yes…” Gaara chuckled back weakly. There was an obvious heaviness in his lids, but he still wanted to talk about what just happened. He wasn’t one to ask such daring questions, but it was as if some parts of him had improved for the better; it felt like he was more than willing now to initiate communication with you. “So… uhm, Y/N…” He trailed off. “How did it… feel?” Gaara asked, his voice a little nervous.

You hummed in thought. “Hmm… how do I put it in words…” You thought out loud as you traced lines and circles upon his naked chest.

Truth be told, it was probably something you could never, ever explain justifyingly with words alone.

As you continued your inward search for the perfect word, Gaara began to speak.

“I feel so connected… with you.” He whispered lovingly, his eyes gentle and endearing. “Body and soul…”

With a soft kiss and on his lips and an easing caress on his face, you pulled him closer to you as he began to nestle his face against the warm solace of your skin.

“And I feel so connected with you, too…” You repeated softly before caressing the back of his head as he began to fall asleep. “Body and soul…”

--

Your head throbbed painfully when you fluttered your eyes open and the not so gentle rays of the sun began to peek through the slight gaps in between the curtains. You quickly glued your eyes shut; and with the increasing awareness of your surroundings as your system began to wake itself up, you were almost shocked at the fact that there was still a familiar warmth and weight pressing upon your naked body at this time of the morning.

You were now lying on your back, and when you tilted your head towards your lover, you couldn’t help but giggle softly at such beautiful, rare sight.

The side of his face nestled upon the upper part of your breast, a heavy hand and leg pinning you down against the mattress, almost leaving you with no chance of escape. He had never looked so etheareally peaceful to you until now, eyes not so loosely shut and lips in a soft, curled pout. On top of that, this might just be the very first moment that you learned that Gaara actually snores… A really soft, baby snore, though. You couldn’t help but giggle when you noticed how there’s new, darker ray of eyebags pooling below his eyes… which is probably mirrored by yours, too.

Guess that’s what you get, making love so deep into the night where the moon itself is already close to losing its shine.

A soft, inward groan never left his lips but it was audible enough to hear, carving a deep smile upon your lips once more.

Finally, a very… deep, undisturbed sleep that he utmostly deserved.

You stayed still, even though your body was beginning to feel sore, apart from the expected one resting in between your legs; just in hopes of maintaining the relaxation he was currently pampering himself with.

Gaara really needed that more than anyone.

When he began to shift his body, and turned his back on you in a still, deep stupor, you began to carefully sit up and grab your discarded shirt off of the floor to walk to the bathroom.

After refilling the glass with water to bring on your way back towards the bedroom to give to Gaara once he wakes up, you took a short re-route towards the living room and sat upon the couch; dialing Temari’s number on the telephone before pressing the cold metal disk of its diaphraghm against your ear.

“Oh, finally!” You heard the familiar voice on the other side of the line.

“Good morning, Tem!” You greeted happily.

“Good mor- Oh?“ Temari’s eyebrows furrowed in surprise. “Y/N?”

“Yep.” You chuckled.

Temari chuckled back meaningfully at the surprising revelation, the familiar, teasing tone becoming something that was easy for you to discern.

“Come on, is it really that much of a shocker?”

“It is.” She replied amusingly. “The earliest you usually get up from bed is 10 am. You have beaten your record,” she shot a look towards the wall clock on her living room. “it’s 9:50 AM now.”

“How do you even know that?” You tried your best to stifle your usual, kinda’ loud voice when talking with her.

“Just a hunch.” Temari grinned. “Gaara had been asking me lately if there was a way he could maintain the warmth of the pancakes and coffee he makes for you at 6 AM. He says he doesn’t want you to have it cold because it might upset your stomach, but at the same time, he can’t bring himself to wake you up or to leave it up to you to cook your own breakfast.”

You couldn’t help but blush when you realized another yet undiscovered ways of how Gaara tries to show how much he loves you.

“By the way,” She cleared her throat as she shrugged her shoulder towards her, pinning the telephone against her ear as she tried to pull half of her locks into a side ponytail. “I have been ringing you guys for the last two hours. I was actually about to go on my way there to check up on the two of you because Gaara usually leaves for work at 6:30. It’s weird that he’s late.”

“Oh… uhm,” You couldn’t help but smile giddily like a teenager to yourself. “I’m sorry for not being able to answer right away. I called, too, because I was about to ask you if Gaara could take half the day off.”

“Why? Is he okay? Does he feel sick?”

“No… he’s just, sleeping really, really good right now.” You slumped your back against the sofa. “Like, the kind of good that’ll make you feel guilty if you wake him up from it. Out of all people, you do know the best that his sleeping schedule is still troubled.”

“I see…” Temari smiled gently to herself, her chest warming up at the thought of her baby brother being able to rest easy as he thoroughly deserves. “It’s okay. I could run some of his errands for him to ease his workload for today. I’m really glad to hear that Gaara’s sleeping well.”

“Yeah…” You grinned softly as you raked your fingers through your messy bedhair in hopes of fixing it up. “He’s pretty tired.”

“Tired?” Temari asked surprisingly. “He didn’t have much to do… yesteday…”

As sharp as she ever was, it was almost scary with how good she was at deducing things.

“So… what baby names are you choosing from?”

“Tem!”

Temari laughed hard from the other line. “I have leftover waffles here. I’ll hang the bag on the door knob, you don’t have to get up to greet me if ever you end up going back to sleep.”

“Thank you so much, Tem…” You couldn’t help but feel so thankful for how kind she was to you.

“No,” Temari said with a soft smile. “Thank you, Y/N.”

“Tem…”

“Gaara loves you very much, Y/N.” Temari spoke so gently. “Thank you for giving him the chance to feel like that.”

After exhanging goodbyes, you flinched in your seat when someone grabbed and placed the telephone back on its cradle on your behalf.

“Do I have to carry you back to the bed?” Gaara mumbled, his voice a little grumpy. Before you could even answer, he had already made his way from the back the back of the couch, firm strong hands lifting you up from the cushion of the couch as carried you back towards the bedroom.

“Is this why you always try to wake up earlier than me?” You narrowed your eyes at him. “Are you one of those people who are grumpy as hell when they wake up?” You teased.

Gaara dropped your body onto the mattress, the surprising edge of roughness in his action making your chest flutter in excitement. The heat between your legs started to burn harder when he towered over you, the familiar weight of his body cornering you down against the bed. “When you said… last night…” A satisfying yawn ripped from his chest before he pinned your hand softly against the bed, his thumb rubbing soft circles above your palm; the other hand stroking the side of your face softly as he leaned his face closer. “That you will be first thing I’d see when I wake up, I took it to the heart. But what I saw… was my boxer shorts…” His sudden, surprising dominance broke as he ended up giggling softly against the skin of your neck. You snorted back with a laughter, the odd, funny noise making him chuckle again.

“I called Tem… I asked her if you could come in a little late today. You looked like you were having the best sleep of your life, and I couldn’t bear to be the one who takes it away from you.”

“It really did…felt amazing.” He sighed, the way he breathed out hinting satisfaction on his end.

“The sleep?” You mused. “Or what happened before the sleep?”

Gaara buried his now flushed face deeper into your neck as he began to remember everything that took in place night.

Vividly.

“I’m sorry, though…” You whispered gently. “I didn’t mean to have your unromantic boxer shorts to be the first one you see in the morning.” You felt a smile against your neck before he props his chin above your chest, the vibration of your giggle pressing against his skin. “Would you get mad if I do it again? What if I had to pee?”

“You think I have the capacity to be that possessive?” Gaara asked, his voice hinting with amusement.

“I think you’d let me pee.” You smiled at him before brushing the messy locks from blocking the view of his eyes.

“I will.” Gaara began to press soft, pecking kisses upon your breast before dragging his lips in a linear path towards your neck, making you tilt your head to the side as he began to suckle softly on the skin. “But I wouldn’t shy from tying you down if it means I’ll be able to keep you in bed as much as I want to.”

--

[blue-bird-kny]

first kiss headcannons for tanjirou zenitsu, inosuke and genya? plus any others you feel like adding.

Here you go, enjoy!~Amanda (also it was impossible to find an image with them all!)

Warning: Mentions of anxiety, fluff, angst

(2k+ words)

Tanjiro:

With Tanjiro, he’d be the one that would initiate the first kiss. Being the gentleman he is though, he’d only do so with your complete consent and after you two had been dating for a while.

However, he wouldn't spend time planning the kiss or creating a romantic scenario, he’d want it to be spontaneous and in the moment; he’s simple in that way.

You and Tanjiro spent the day training and, now exhausted, you both laid on the floor in an attempt to stabilize your breathing. “You’ve grown as a fighter so quickly (y/n), I’m impressed. Not that I didn’t think you could do it, of course.” Tanjiro commented from the floor, watching you slowly sit up. “Well I’ve had a great teacher” you winked, poking at his side causing Tanjiro to laugh. He sat up, smiling lovingly at his girlfriend. Girlfriend; he loves the fact he can call you that. It had only been a few weeks, but it seems like he asked you out months ago, you two were just so comfortable with one another.

Of your short relationship, the biggest obstacle Tanjiro’s has had to overcome is the ability to do normal relationship things without asking first, even if you’ve said it's ok. For example, the first time he tried to grab your hand without warning, his fingers shook and his face was red. It’s one of your favorite things about him, how endearing he is.

Today, though, he's able to do such simple gestures without worrying too much. The two of you sat in silence, breathing steady, as you sat facing each other. Tanjiro reached out to grab both your hands, tightly holding them in each of his own larger ones. He wanted to reach that next step with you, but he didn’t know if you were ready. “(y/n), Can I kiss you?” his question was quiet and filled with care, he didn’t want to make you unhappy by moving too fast.

What he didn’t know was that you’d been dying to feel his lips on yours, to feel how they molded together with his, to feel more of him. You didn’t need words to convey your confidence or trust in Tanjiro, so you simply shook your head yes. Eyes closed, heart racing, you hummed in delight as he started small, placing a firm kiss onto your forehead. He leaned lower, pecking the tip of your nose, making you smile fondly. Finally, he delicately placed a tentative kiss on your lips, cupping your cheek in the process.

It was slow and quicker than you’d have liked, but there was time for more later. He pulled away a bit, just enough so you both could lean onto each other's foreheads, smiling in content.

First kisses with Tanjiro are sweet and kind and very, very soft.

Zenitsu

No matter how much he may flirt with you, even after you two get together, this boy will in no way try to initiate the first kiss.

Underneath his crazy antics, lies a boy with horrible anxiety and little self-confidence, so it’d be hard for him to be the one to progress the relationship. That being said, it's not like he doesn’t think about kissing because he does...a lot, but his fear of losing you is far greater than his desires.

Whether it is his ability to take action in battle or training with the others, you try to encourage and praise him as much as possible. This has helped his confidence some, but when it comes to you, he has more to risk than sparring with Inosuke.

It was early in the day, just before the sun's first rays could break the silence of night. You were usually up at this time, early enough to get ready before having to wake the others for whatever the day called for. Usually, in the bed only a few feet from yours, your enthusiastic boyfriend would be snoring away, but this morning he was nowhere to be found.

You silently panicked as you tiptoed out of the room not wanting to wake the others as they slept, bursting into a full sprint once outside. It wasn’t long, though, before you found his blonde head peeking out from behind a bush. Silently, so as to not startle him, you walked over and took a seat next to him. You didn’t say anything, there was no need to, sometimes he just needed you there in silence. Instead, you grasped his hand in yours, giving him a reassuring squeeze and kind smile.

“You know (y/n), You are always saving me, but I never seem to be able to be there for you when you need it. How useless am I, right” his voice was hollow, eyes empty as they gazed into space. Sometimes it was tough to bring Zenitsu out of these spirals, but you had to try, you loved him and could’t stand the fact that he didn’t see himself the way you saw him; brilliant.

The movement of your body shifting in front of his pulled him from his empty thoughts. He was startled as you unexpectedly pulled him into a tight embrace, his hands hung in the air unsure of what to do with them. “Zenitsu, I wish you could see yourself the way I saw you.” you started softly, hand rubbing soothing circles into his back. “You’ve saved me more times than I can count, on the battlefield you never fail to protect me from harm even if it means getting injured. Us being together is something I cherish deeply and I’m grateful that we’ve come together, you make me really happy Zenitsu” you tried to convey every ounce of the happiness the boy has made you feel.  

Zenitsu began to cry into your shoulder, finally returning the hug you’d had him wrapped in. You two sat in silence again, save for the few sniffles that came from your boyfriend, as the sun's early rays began to penetrate the atmosphere. He pulled back after some time, his gaze switching from your eyes to your lips in a silent question. You chuckled as your hands hooked around his neck, pulling yourself significantly closer to the boy who you loved. “You can kiss me, you know”. Those few words were all the confidence he needed as he pulled you the rest of the way, lips meeting in a passionate kiss. His cheeks were damp from crying and his lips were slightly chapped, but none of that mattered because there was nowhere else you’d rather be than with Zenitsu  in the early morning glow.

Inosuke:

In a weird way Inosuke was a simple guy when it came to how he expressed his feelings and emotions; short and to the point. It takes a lot to make him embarrassed, so if he wanted a kiss from you, he’d get it. He sees no point in waiting for that ‘perfect’ moment, it's going to happen eventually so why not right now?

It was just another afternoon with your friends all being patients at the  Butterfly Estate. You’d all gone there after receiving some nasty injuries on the mission you’d all completed. You decided that the fastest way to heal was to sit outside in peace and quiet, allowing your body to do its thing while soaking in the sun and inhaling fresh air.

Well that lasted a good two seconds before your rowdy boyfriend came running around the corner, his boar mask on and swords waving recklessly. Irritated at the interruption, you shouted “Inosuke damn it! You’re supposed to be healing not running around like an idiot” . Your words captured his attention as he changed in direction towards you. “(y/n)!” he laughed, “I already healed, I don’t need any rest like you weaklings!” if you didn’t know better, you’d taken offense to his words but you knew it was all for show.

Inosuke couldn’t even begin running again before he groaned in pain, he’d managed to pull one of his healing muscles by running, “Sit Inosuke” you insisted. He begrudgingly sat cross-legged next to you, murmuring nonsense on his way down. You were the only person he listened too so easily and it amazed the others.

“Here” you moved toward him, “take this off so you can get some fresh air” you explained, removing his mask and gently placing it on the ground. His dark locks tumbled out onto his shoulders and over the bandage that was wrapped around his skull. You frowned as you noticed a small spot of blood that was slowly growing on his forehead. “Inosuke, you managed to open the wound on your forehead again. Aoi isn’t going to be happy about that.” you gently reprimanded, bringing your hand to the spot and slightly applying pressure in an attempt to stop the bleeding.

Inosuke watched in silence as you tended to him. He’d always admired you from the first time you two met. He was riled up by the strength you showed on the battlefield and was determined to fight you. Of course you’ve rejected every one of his requests since, but you didn’t mind the company as he seemed to stick by you like glue. Over time his admiration developed into something more romantic in the sense that he really liked you. So now, as you showed care and kindness towards him, he found it only appropriate to kiss you.

His movements were fast and dramatic as he squished both your cheeks and roughly planted a quick kiss to your lips. You were stunned after he pulled away, his mouth forming a smirk. “What just happened?” you asked nobody in particular. It wasn’t that you minded the kiss, quite the opposite as you’d been crushing on the wild man for forever now, but it was so sudden you didn’t even get to enjoy it. Releasing your face, he triumphantly raised his fist and shouted “(y/n) is mine now! She’s mine so if I see any of you weaklings around here I’ll beat you to a pulp”. Your small chuckled slowly built up to a loud fit of laughter, you held onto your stomach for support. “Oh Inosuke” you smiled playfully up at him. However sweet he was though, you were a woman of revenge and so before he could react, you held his cheeks like he did yours and kissed him, albeit much gentler and for longer. The roles from earlier reversed, as now you were the one smirking in delight and he was the one who sat in confusion.

Genya (This one is a little shorter/ more like a headcanon because I’m only just getting used to his charters so please, bare with me!)

On the outside, Genya looked like a mean, rude, and unapproachable guy, which in some cases was true. For you though, he was just a softy who wanted  love and affection sometimes more than he wanted water and you were more than happy to shower him with it.

Genya would be too embarrassed to initiate the first kiss, that oh-so lovable shy side of himself stopping him from making too many moves on you. It was a miracle he’d been able to ask you out without blowing a gasket, so this was hard for him.

Anytime he’d even get close enough where he could kiss you, he’d bounce away with red checks, almost like he’d been set on fire by your presence. However today you were determined to kiss Genya, even if it meant teasing him a little further than normal.

Your boyfriend had offered to walk you to your room like he does every night, the two of you walking in a comfortable silence. You looked to see if there were others around, happy to find nobody in the corridor. Outside of your door, Genya faced you to wish you a good night, but was caught off guard when you pushed him against your door with much effort and used your arms to trap him there. The scene was actually pretty ridiculous; you were much shorter than he was and if he wanted to, he could have easily pushed you away. “W-what the hell..mph!” he was cut off as you reached up and placed  a rough kiss onto his lips. He didn’t respond right away, and you almost pulled away regrettably, but after a moment he held you in place by snaking his arms around your waist. The kiss became smoother and gentler as time passed, you two quickly melting into one another. Eventually you had to pull away for air, a small string of saliva connecting you two as you both breathed in deeply.

Regaining your breath, you looked up to find his narrowed eyes staring down at yours. He scoffed in a way that would have been off putting if his arms weren’t still secured around you, “If you wanted a kiss you could have just asked” he said as red began to spread even further down his neck and up to the tips of his ears. “Ah Genya, you really are the sweetest” you cheered pulling yourself closer to his chest.

“H-hey you moron! We’re in public!” Genya panicked as you laughed at his failed attempt to pry you off his body.

Main Masterlist

I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did writing it, please leave a heart/reblog if you’d like. Thank you and please stay safe~Amanda

[diavolosthots]

DARK DECEPTION CHAPTER 18

READ CHAPTER 17 HERE

Warnings: fights, violence, blood, death

Pairing(s): lucifer x reader, diavolo, the brothers

Authors Note: this IS the climax but unless you want to deal with kinda graphic depictions of someones death, maybe skip this one if thats not your cup of tea.

Diavolo’s words didn’t register. Family? His family is fighting out there, somewhere. Leviathan will manage, he’s sure of it, and even with the piercing tip of his own blade against his throat, Lucifer knew he could manage as well. “I will find her, with or without your help.” No, he won't, Michael promised to keep you safe and that’s all that matters to him right now. “I will tear this world apart brick by brick.” Lucifer felt the blade leave his throat, feeling it drag through his wings instead; another cry. “Too bad you have to suffer for it. I really did like you, Lucifer.” The blade was digging into his upper left wing, way too close to the base and Lucifer could practically feel the blood gush out, forming a pool right where he was laying. “And I know she liked you too… I hope you said your goodbyes to her.” Goodbyes? Lucifer watches as Diavolo draws the sword back, an evil grin forming on his face but that’s when Lucifer remembered. “No… I promised.” A glare formed on his face right as Diavolo was bringing the sword down and Lucifer rolled over just in time, feeling Diavolo pierce his wing instead. 

“I promised!” Anger rushed through him and although every ounce of him was in pain, fearing the stability of his wings, Lucifer’s anger made him push through and fly up, using his full body weight to come down at Diavolo. The King grunted, falling down to his knees, but he still had the sword and he drew it back once more, “bad idea.” “No. It really wasn’t.” That last voice caught both of them off guard and they both turned their heads to see an angry Satan standing mere feet from Diavolo’s head. A growl escaped the latter and he’s quick to use his own magical powers to try and throw Satan back, “this has nothing to do with you, Satan,” but he dodged it just in time. One could see the anger radiating around him, forming a deep red hue, “this has everything to do with me.” Lucifer was proud, of course, but he also feared for the safety of his brother. Diavolo yanked at Lucifer’s hurting wing and yanked him off only for the eldest to be caught by Satan. 

“Listen to me. You need to put your all into this.” “what?” He glared at Satan this time, about to ask what the hell he meant when Satan yanked him back up on his feet and grabbed his hand tightly. “Just focus! I don’t have time to argue with you!” Satan’s tail wrapped around Lucifer’s waist, pulling him against his side as Satan mumbled something; a spell. Diavolo got up, growling and snarling at the two in front of him. The King barely had any scratches on him and he could see Lucifer was losing a lot of blood; he’s too weak to properly make out a spell. “Give up, Satan. He’s as good as dead.” Anger rushed through the fourth born and strangely enough, Lucifer felt all of it. The eldest was already angry, riled up from everything. “Think about what he did, Lucifer… hold onto that anger.” “Satan…” “Hold onto it!” Easier for him to say than for Lucifer to do, but the more he thought about everything, the more he thought about the fear and sadness in your eyes, the more he thought about what Diavolo did to you, about what he saw on Leviathan’s screen… the more he remembered Levi’s bleeding form in front of him, tossed carelessly by Barbatos… was he even still alive? Lucifer didn’t know. He’s been too focused on Diavolo. 

“Hghn…..aaaaahhh!!!” He cried out, almost animalistic. His deep voice resonated around the Devildom and it seemed more like a shrill echo bouncing off around him. He could feel Satan’s anger, his wrath, mixing with his own, and for a moment, it felt like Satan was back inside of him. All the anger, all the emotions he had surpassed for the past eons are bubbling over as he charges at the Demon Lord with enough force that sends a shock wave through the entirety of the Devildom. It sounded like a hammer coming down on a metal shield, a blast so strong not many could survive it, and not many did. Lucifer practically pushed Diavolo through the ground, creating a crater that the Demon Lord fell into. His wings, all four, snapped in half as Diavolo broke into the ground. Bone and blood were peeking out and he’s sure Lucifer broke more than that. The tightness of his best friend’s hand around his throat along with the pure hatred, the pure guilt, and the pure wrath inside Lucifer’s eyes, had Diavolo’s own eyes wide with fear and angst. 

“L-Lu….cifer….” The demon gasped out, but Lucifer’s grip only tightened. He’s sure that he broke at least a few of Diavolo’s ribs and there’s at least some internal bleeding, considering the blood that’s flowing out the Demon Lord’s mouth. And yet, none of that was enough for the eldest. “You took everything from me! You took my sister, my freedom…. You made me your pet!” Lucifer growled, his eyes flaring red as his hand continued to squeeze. His nails were digging into Diavolo’s flesh, who struggled to try and move away from the Demon above him, to no avail. His whole body ached. The force Lucifer used was too great and it could’ve killed him, “but none of that was ever enough for you, was it?! You got off on having me, the eldest, the Avatar of Pride at your disposal. You used my own guilt against me to reign me in… and you could never have me be happy. Happiness, to you and not for you, meant that I could leave… and father forbid I left, just like everyone else left you.” His words stung. Diavolo clenched his teeth, still gasping for air. Blood began to drip down Lucifer’s fingers, his nails having successfully dug themselves through Diavolo’s neck. 

“You took her….. You used her…. You forced yourself on her…” Anger rushed through him again and another shot of force rushed through him, “and you deserve to die for that…!” Another scream escaped the eldest, emotions rushing through him as he tore at Diavolo’s neck. The latter screamed, alerting all the demons not affected by the force that was used earlier, but it was too late. Lucifer practically ripped his head off, blinded by sheer rage and vengeance. Blood splattered his clothes and face as the King lay dead before him, his decapitated head in his hands. Demons gasped, Barbatos stopped in his tracks in shock and fear at the sight in front of him. This wasn’t Lucifer, or at least, this wasn’t the Lucifer everyone knew. This was a man blinded by rage and love, fearing for his lover’s safety and life. This was someone who’s many years of guilt and sadness, of grief and desperation finally spilled over and was let out in one of the most gruesome ways. But it was worth it. 

The head fell from Lucifer’s grasp and Lucifer fell sideways as the surge of wrath finally left his body. Exhaustion took over, the bloodloss his wings had suffered has started to become too great. “Lucifer…” He could faintly make out Satan’s voice behind him, his head barely turning to watch the fourth born crawl toward him, obviously exhausted as well. A smug grin tried to form itself on Satan’s face and only now has Lucifer noticed the many scars and bruises on Satan’s body from the fight earlier. Lucifer reached out his hand, a soft smile forming on his own lips, “what was that…. Satan….” but the blond shook his head, reaching out his own hand to brush along Lucifer’s fingers, “ a last resort…” he felt weak and he could see that Lucifer felt the same. That took everything out of both of them. Two forces that should’ve never been separated and lastly, should have never been united again. “I’m sorry….” It was a whisper, barely audible by Lucifer. Tears stung in the corner of his eyes and he wasn’t sure whether it was from the sheer amount of pain or the fact that he feels like all of this could’ve been avoided. “Not your fault…” And even so, Lucifer felt like it was. 

He didn’t know where anyone else was and frankly, turning his head the other way to see everyone else would have used too much of his already low energy. He didn’t know if anyone else made it. He didn’t know how many were dead, either. All he knows is that he freed you from your prison and he feels no regret toward that. Demons are ruthless and he always knew that, and yet, he has never experienced such betrayal and ruthlessness first hand. “Satan….” Lucifer pulled at the blond’s fingers, the latter only responding with a groan, “Satan…!” he feared the worst. Has this taken too much out of him? Was this too big for both of them to handle? He could feel his own energy fade as well…“Lucifer!” that sweet, sweet voice. His eyes felt heavy. He couldn’t keep them open. His hand still held onto Satan’s as he tried to concentrate on the air entering and exiting his body. He tried to focus on anything other than the pain and exhaustion. 

Just a little… rest…..

[scarlet-star-witch]

Fade Into You - Part 19 (Mandalorian/OC)

Summary: Din has spent a year grieving the love of his life. While he thinks he has lost her forever, she lingers in the darkness, her mind twisted and manipulated, with no memory of him or the love they shared. What will it take for Din to help her remember?

Warnings: SMUT (they just reunited, can you blame me?) and a whole bunch of fluff

First Part     Previous Part      Next Part

She didn’t leave his arms for the rest of the night. Din wouldn’t let her go even five feet from his grasp. Even when they landed on Nevarro, and Cara had announced their arrival, she could tell by the look on Iella’s face and the rigidity of Din’s body that they needed to be left alone.

Their solace was well needed. 

They lay tangled in their cramped bunk, Iella’s legs over his, his arm a comforting weight over her waist. His head lay on the pillow next to hers, his eyes taking in every inch of her as she did the same.

Her fingers gently traced every inch of his features, down the length of his crooked nose that she loved, the wrinkles around his eyes and the crease of his smile. Her eyes greedily drank in the sight before her as if she was still trying to come to terms that this was real.

Din was thankful the child was still tired. Once he’d woken from his deep sleep after using his powers, he refused to let Iella out of his sight, but he now lay sleeping peacefully on her chest, allowing him to finally take off his helmet and look at his wife without any hindrances.

“What was your mother’s name?” He asked suddenly, breaking the peaceful silence that surrounded them. 

“Nivaya.” Iella answered without hesitation. 

“How many siblings did you have?”

“Two brothers, both older.” 

“What’s your middle name.”

“Sakari. It means sweet in my native language.” She answered swiftly. “How many more questions do I have to answer?” She asked through a stifled yawn. 

Getting stabbed and healed within the span of one afternoon really takes it out of a person. And the throbbing in her head, in her now healed brain, hadn’t subsided just yet. She’d been seconds away from sleeping for the last hour, but she refused to let her eyes close, needing to see her husband, to take in his features, just a while longer.

But the need for sleep was quickly becoming too great to ignore any longer.

“Enough until I know that you’re really back.” Din answered, his eyes looking into hers intently.

She could see his fear, his intense need to keep her at his side. She knew he was suffering, that the day was laying heavily on him, and that he needed resolution. The only way she could give it to him was to just simply exist.

Just breathing was a relief to him.

“Din, I know you’re freaking out, I know this is a lot for you to go through, but you have to trust me. I’m ok. 

“I can’t take any chances.”

“I know, but I’m so tired, I just wanna sleep.” 

Din hesitated, his eyes watching her intently. He could see how exhausted she was and he felt guilty that he’d been keeping her awake, but after what they’d been through, after how terrified he’d been, he found it hard to let himself slip away into unconsciousness. 

He kept telling himself, just one more minute, until they had been awake for hours, drinking each other in for almost the entire night. 

“I’m sorry.” He whispered and Iella frowned, leaning in to place a soft kiss to his lips, which he eagerly responded to. 

“Don’t apologize.” She mumbled against his lips. “It’s not like I was ready to stop seeing your beautiful face any time soon.” 

Din blushed slightly. He hadn’t heard one of those flirty comments from her in what felt like forever. He’d been living with a shell of the person she had been, the person he had fallen so deeply in love with, and his heart felt like it was about to burst knowing he finally had her back.

“Get some sleep. We’ll take as many days off as we want to, go anywhere we want to.” 

“I don’t think Karga would be thrilled.”

Iella just scoffed. “I think we’ve more than earned a vacation.” 

“What about the kid?”

Iella paused, looking down at the sleeping creature snuggled into her peacefully. An involuntary smile grew at the adorable sight of him, though it stiffened when she realized they would soon have to work on finding his true home. 

“Vacation first, then work.” She answered the difficult question simply. 

Din nodded, agreeing wholeheartedly, and tightened his grip on her waist, nuzzling in closer in the crook of her neck, his eyes blissfully falling closed. 

“If you wake up first, don’t leave. Wake me before you do.” He whispered and Iella’s heart felt like cracking at the vulnerability she heard in his voice. 

“I promise.” She spoke softly, hoping he wouldn’t hear in her voice just how close to tears his words brought her. 

Knowing how damaged her husband felt from this, how terrified he was to even let her out of his sight now, it made her want to kill Voros all over again. 

The image flashed in her mind again, her master bleeding and panicked as the life drained from him. 

She swallowed thickly and began brushing her hands through Din’s curly hair, as if to ground herself. 

No more thinking about him, she told herself, the mantra repeating in her head as her eyes closed and she easily drifted off to sleep in her husband’s arms, feeling more content than she had in a long time.

~~~

Iella stirred awake, whining softly as she was broken from her sleep by the feel of soft kisses on her neck. Her eyes opened to nothing but darkness and she immediately began to panic as she no longer felt the weight of the child on her chest. 

“Din?”

“Right here.” His voice answered in her ear as he continued to plant soft kisses on her skin and she sighed in relief. 

“Where’s the kid?” 

“In his cradle.”

“Why? I wanted-” Her voice cut off as she felt the blankets being pulled from her, Din’s eager hands crawling up her thighs to the waistband of the sleeping shorts she wore.

He hesitated, his fingers gently teasing the exposed skin at her hips.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have woken you… I-I just…” He paused, taking a moment to collect himself of the emotion that threatened to choke him. “I need you. I need to feel you.” 

Iella’s heart began to race, the pure want dripping from his voice causing the hairs on her body to stand upright in eager anticipation. She leaned upwards, reaching out in the darkness for him. Her hands wound around his shoulders and she pulled him down so his body lay over hers, his weight a comforting reminder of what she’d missed for so long.

“Please.” She breathed out and she felt Din tremble against her, the sound of her hushed voice making him weak in the knees. 

His lips crashed to hers barely a second later. 

They moaned against each other as they kissed slowly. Iella expected it to be fiery and frantic, a coupling that was desperate and quick, portraying the overwhelming emotions they were both feeling, but it wasn’t.

Din was careful with her, pouring every ounce of relief and happiness and love into the kiss. He took his time, showering her with affection. He made his way over every inch of her body, revelling in the small gasps, light whimpers, and cries of desperation for more he pulled from her.

He slowly rid her of the remaining clothes she wore, his breathing becoming heavy as he felt her wet heat against him. 

He couldn’t wait any longer. 

Without any warning, he threw her legs up over his shoulders, making her gasp in surprise, which soon turned into a long, loud moan as his mouth began to devour her. 

Iella’s back arched as his tongue worked its way through her folds, her hand flying down to grip at his hair, chasing just the little bit of stability she could possibly have in this moment. 

He moaned against her, the taste of her driving him wild. He had missed this so much and he would cherish every single moment. 

Every one of her moans, every twitch of her legs, every tug on his hair, he would remember forever and never take for granted again. 

Her hips slanted upwards, her eyes squeezing shut as he moved his hot tongue over her wet slit. 

“Din!” She panted, her head falling back to her shoulders as pleasurable tingles spread throughout her body. Goosebumps arose where he held onto her thighs tightly, his fingers splayed against her skin in an attempt to keep her still.

But her need for him was too great to keep her grounded. 

She writhed underneath him, a litany of moaned curses and whimpered pleas escaping her parted lips. 

A sharp tug on his hair made him groan against her and he eagerly pushed two fingers inside her, desperate to get her over the edge. 

“Fuck, I missed you.” He groaned against her and she bit hard on her bottom lip to hold back the whimper his words caused her. 

Hearing the muffled noise, he added another finger inside her, desperate to get her loud, to hear exactly what he was doing to her. He wouldn’t stand for any stifled noises of pleasure.

Her mouth dropped open, a loud moan, bordering on a scream, escaping her without any warning as he worked her body like an expert musician with their instrument. 

The sound of her voice laced with ecstasy had him just about ready to explode. He doubled his movements, his eyes closing in bliss at the taste of her and the way she spoke his name over and over like a prayer. 

“Din, please, please.” She moaned, her body going rigid as he curled his fingers inside her at the same moment his tongue met her bundle of nerves. 

It only took a few more seconds before Iella was arching against him, her hips bucking upwards as she cried his name loudly. He moaned against her, only heightening her release that seemed to go on for ages. 

Her chest was heaving with each heavy panting breath that left her lips. Her head was swimming in a dazed pleasure and before she could even come down from her high, Din was hovering over her, his lips crashing to hers frantically.

“I love you so much, my beautiful Riduur. Never letting you go, never losing you again, Cyare.” Din babbled against her lips, his voice strained. 

She felt wetness against her cheeks, the knowledge of his tears bringing her own to her eyes. She cradled his face in her hands, kissing him gently, as if it could heal every negative thought in his brain.

“I love you, Din, more than anything in this galaxy.” She whispered to him reverently. “Nothing is ever going to take me away. I’m never leaving your side ever again.” She promised him and she hoped to every god that ever existed that her words would be true.

Her words had a shaking breath escaping him and before he could break down fully, he kissed her again as he slowly slid his throbbing length inside her. 

They both tensed and moaned softly, holding onto each other tightly as he settled within her. 

He moved slowly, taking his time and savouring every hitched breath and pull of her hands on his skin it earned him. His breathing became ragged, her name a groaned prayer in the quiet room. 

Iella blinked rapidly in a desperate attempt to stop her tears from falling, but it was no use. She held onto her husband like a lifeline, like he was the only thing keeping her tethered to reality. She never wanted to let go, she knew she would feel lost the second she did.

Her love for him, which had returned to her so overwhelmingly, and being back in his arms, making love to him again, made her break.

A soft sob escaped her, one she couldn’t hold back and the second Din heard it he was raising his head from where he had been placing greedy kisses against her neck and he leaned his forehead against hers, looking down at her worriedly. 

His thrusts stopped and he gently wiped her tears. 

“El?”

“Don’t stop.” She pleaded, her hands holding tightly to his hips, rolling her own against his to goad him into moving again. 

A choked moan escaped him, his eyes quickly squeezing shut as he tried hard to not lose it then and there. He kissed her firmly as he began to slide in and out of her slowly once again. 

They stayed there, intertwined, their foreheads rested against each other, their breaths intermingling as each moan echoed the others. He reached down, hiking her thigh upwards higher on his hip, allowing him to move even deeper inside her, causing him to grunt and move just the slightest pace faster.

Iella moaned loudly, her nails digging into skin at the toe curling feeling.

Din huffed out a heavy breath, his jaw clenching as he felt his end nearing all too soon. He was too worked up, too desperate for her that he couldn't hold back any longer.

“Iella,” He warned, his voice stiff as his fingers dug into her thigh tightly. The briefest of fears of bruising her flashed through his mind, but before he could even think of easing up, her walls tightened around him, turning his mind to mush and erasing any trace of worry. “Fuck!” He yelled out, his thrusts becoming jarring as he approached the edge.

Iella’s eyes rolled into the back of her head and with just a few powerful thrusts later, she reached ecstasy again. A scream of his name fell from her lips as she trembled against him.

His own echoing scream of her name followed just seconds later as he came hard inside her.

He practically collapsed against her, but she didn’t mind. He was a comforting weight against her. Their heavy breaths were soon the only thing heard in the dark room as aftershocks flowed through them like rolling clouds. 

She raked her hands up and down the length of his back that was still shaking slightly. 

As their racing hearts slowed, their breathing calming, their bodies becoming limp with pleasured exhaustion, they didn’t move from each other’s arms. The press of his lips lazily moving across her shoulder made her smile lightly and she hugged him against her tighter. 

They were perfectly content, something the both of them had needed to feel desperately.

~~~

The next morning Iella woke with a smile on her face and a pleasurable ache between her thighs from the night before.

Din was draped over her like a blanket, his hair tickling her nose, making her face crease happily. She looked down at him, biting her lip to stifle a laugh at how tightly he clung to her, even in his sleep. 

“Hey, baby, wake up.” She called out softly, her hands toussling his messy hair. 

He moaned tiredly, stirring slightly before waking with a displeased groan. He tightened his grip on her, nuzzling in closer to her.

“Don’t wanna get up.” He moaned and she laughed lightly at the childish whine to his voice.

The sound of her laugh had his own smile growing and he craned his neck to look up at her. Those beautiful eyes of hers felt like a gift to him. The relief that shot through him was so intense he could’ve sworn it stopped his heart. 

“We should stay like this for the rest of the day.”

“And who would look after the kid?”

“He has powers. He’s more than qualified to look after himself.” He shrugged, earning him a playful shove from her. Din huffed out a laugh and snuggled in closer to her, his eyes falling closed once again. “Just give me a few more minutes.” 

Iella was left unable to refuse. Being back in arms felt too good to give up just yet. 

The couple stay wrapped up in each other, indulging in a closeness that had been lost for so long. They were both content, more content that they had been in over a year, and were just moments away from falling back to sleep, when the muffled whine of the child stirred them out of their daze.

Din cursed lightly under his breath and began to slowly heave himself out of bed and away from his wife with a groan. 

“I’ll be right there, kid.” Din called out as he began to put his armour on, the helmet being the last piece he put on. 

Iella watched with a faraway look in her eye. She always admired how he looked in his suit. It portrayed a controlled figure, one she loved to be dominated by. It stirred something within her, even years later. 

The shining new beskar that adorned his body only heightened her admiration and attraction, one her manipulated self couldn’t appreciate fully. She didn’t think the suit could get any better, but she’d obviously been wrong.

“You look good in the new suit.” 

Din looked back at her and smirked, her compliment only sending him further into irresponsibility. He was ready to take off every inch of armour he’d just put on and keep themselves locked away from reality until the end of time.

“You better get out there before he tears the ship apart.” She spoke again, knowing exactly where his mind had wandered to and reminding him of what he had gotten out of bed to do. 

The mischievous smile on her face made his stomach flip pleasurably. She was her again. She was the teasing yet shy woman he loved and it continued to drive him crazy in the best way possible. He shook his head and opened the door of the bunk. 

I’ve missed that, he thought to himself fondly.

Iella slowly sat up, stretching out her aching muscles. She could hear Din tend to the child and the happy coos he received in greeting. Her smile grew, butterflies erupting at the noise. The feeling of completeness she felt being with both of them wasn’t something she expected to feel so greatly.

It always sent a thrill inside her, watching him with the child, but now, with her mind fully restored, her memories of and feelings for Din fully restored, it sent her into a tizzy. She remembered just how much she loved this man and it was the greatest feeling in the galaxy.

It still felt surreal, having all these memories back, finally having a past, a personality, a sense of self. 

She slowly crept out of bed, making her way to the fresher, the smile still on her face as she heard Din and the child get breakfast started. 

As she stepped into the fresher, not bothering to close the door behind her, her eyes met her reflection in the small mirror in front of her. She pursed her lips at the unkempt state she was in and grabbed a brush, working to undo the mess of tangles Din had caused the night before. 

As she pulled her hair back over her shoulder, a glaring red mark on her neck caught her attention.

But it wasn’t a mark left by her husband in passion.

No, it was the mark of torture, where her tracking device had been. The one she had Din cut out her first day back on the Crest, when she’d been… someone else. 

Her wistful smile fell, a blank expression overtaking her once bright features. She looked deeply at her reflection, at her eyes, not recognizing the haunted ones that stared back at her. 

Who are you?

No one.

Who do you belong to?

You, Master.

What is your job?

To kill. 

The words echoed in her head on a loop. Memories swirled in her mind so quickly it left her dizzy. Each one filled with blood and torture and violence, making her wince. Her chest began to feel heavy and tight with despair.

Letting out a shuddering breath, she turned the tap on, splashing cold water on her face, hoping it could lessen the anxiety she suddenly felt. 

Like a siren calling to her, she looked up again, meeting her own haunted gaze. It was like she couldn’t resist meeting her trauma, like she felt she needed to face it, like there was no other option but to face it.

Screams of pain and terror echoed in her mind, the screams of her victims, innocent people whose light she snuffed out mercilessly, without remorse. 

Now, the remorse was catching up to her and hitting her full force, it felt like it would suffocate her.

“Iella.” Din’s stern voice called out from beside her, making her jump in her spot, her gaze snapping to his. “I was calling you.” He said, slowly reaching out to turn off the tap she’d left running.

“Sorry, I was… zoning out.” She breathed out, plastering on a small smile in the guise of her stability that clearly was severely damaged. But she wasn’t ready to tell him that just yet and ruin this loving reunion they were both basking in.

“Zoning out? Do you think the child did something when he healed-”

“No, no, not like that. I was just lost in thought. You know how I get. My head’s always in the clouds.” She assured him, patting his arm as she passed him to leave the fresher that was suddenly feeling too small and cramped for her to breathe.

Din knew his wife was a dreamer, that she was usually lost in daydreams, but this was different. He had a feeling those clouds her head was in were dark and thunderous, shrouded with horrible memories. 

“You know you can talk to me, right?” He said slowly, slightly feeling out of his element as to how to approach the incredibly traumatic events she had faced. He didn’t exactly know what to do to help her, but dammit, he would try his absolute best.

“I know. But there’s nothing to talk about.”

Her side stepping of the situation made him roll his eyes and he walked after her, unable to let this be the end of the conversation.

“El, you were just brought back to life after the man that tortured you and wiped your mind for a year tried to kill you. No one would be ok after that.” He reached for her hand, making her stop in her tracks. The way she refused to meet his eyes was very telling and he could tell just what her anxious mind was telling her. 

“You don’t have to pretend to be strong. You’re allowed to have a moment of weakness.”

“I don’t need one. I just need you.” 

Din’s expression softened slightly. He didn’t want her to breeze through her trauma, to ignore it and let it fester, but he couldn’t deny that hearing her want him healed his aching heart. After so long of practically begging for her affection with her twisted self, it felt so good to hear her need him again.

To feel wanted by her again was all he wanted and it was such a relief to hear it again.

“Din, I swear to you, I’m ok. I’ll tell you when I’m not.” She told him genuinely, holding his hands tightly. 

He nodded, trusting that she would confide in him when she needed to and knowing he shouldn’t push her now. 

“So, where are we headed?” She asked, changing the subject. The promise of a vacation was enticing, something she desperately needed to take her mind off things that threatened to break her. 

“Where do you want to go?” 

“I don’t care. As long as I get a king sized bed to stretch out on.” 

Din laughed, he certainly couldn’t blame her for that. Their cramped bunk was something they had talked about replacing for years, but they had never gotten around to it. 

“I was thinking Naboo. I know you love the waterfalls there.”

Iella smiled widely and nodded. “Yeah. Naboo sounds perfect.” 

Din tightened his grip on her hands and leaned down, pressing his armoured forehead against hers, unable to resist the slightest contact.

He had just gotten her back and he would be damned if he didn’t indulge. 

“I’ll set the course.” He whispered, taking a few extra seconds to linger in her embrace before he finally forced his feet to move and he made his way up to the cockpit. 

It was only a minute later, when the Crest had taken off and was in hyperspace, that he jumped back down into the hull, refusing to be away from her, if only for a few minutes.

He didn’t care if he looked clingy. He was taking every opportunity to be with her he could get. It was the least he could get after what he’d been through the past year.

As Iella held the child in her arms, she leaned back against his sturdy frame behind her. She certainly wasn’t complaining about his closeness. 

She was as happy as him to have it again.

~~

Landing on Naboo was easier than they expected. Din had booked a small cottage, away from the city center, in the middle of nowhere. Perfect for them to lay low in. 

Iella was beaming as he led her inside. It was the sight of their own room, with their own full sized bed, that had her practically bouncing up and down in her shoes that made him unable to stifle his smile.

“You like it?”

“I love it.” She breathed out happily. “This is amazing. It reminds me…” She trailed off, biting her lip in hesitation.

“What?” He asked, a worried frown suddenly overtaking his features at her suddenly serious tone. 

“This cottage… it reminds me of Scarif, of where we stayed on our honeymoon.”

Din’s breath caught in his throat at her words. Just days ago she had forgotten about Scarif, about where they had gotten married, and now… she had memories of things he didn’t even need to remind her of.

It was almost too much to handle. 

Iella’s soft smile, one of happiness and pride for herself, for remembering, fell quickly as Din left the room suddenly. It was only when his heavy footsteps were heard just seconds later and he stormed into the room, throwing his helmet off his head, the child no longer in his arms, that she realized what he had been doing.

“If we keep putting the kid to bed at all hours, we’ll start becoming bad parents.”

“He’ll get over it.” 

Iella felt a shiver race down her spine at the heated tone of his voice and the look of hunger in his eyes. He was on her a second later, taking a few long strides before he was in front of her, his hands cradling her cheeks as he kissed her deeply. 

She lost all sense of the world as he kissed her hungrily and they fell onto the bed in a throw of fiery passion.

“I still can’t believe it. I can’t believe you’re here with me again.” Din babbled. He suddenly pulled away, taking in a deep breath, his eyes squeezing shut as he tried hard to ground himself, to not burst into tears with the emotion that flooded him so overwhelmingly.

“I’m right here.” She whispered, her arms winding around him, holding him closely. “I’m not going anywhere, not again.”

He crashed his lips to hers before he could burst into tears. As he kissed her deeply and stripped her of her clothes, he realized he hadn’t felt so right, so at home, since he’d lost her over a year ago.

As he touched her, as he made love to her, everything suddenly seemed right in the galaxy.

Hours later, they lay curled together on the large bed, barely letting even an inch between them. They had always been a couple that relied on physical touch, but now they were barely able to let each other go now.

Her head was perched on his bare chest, her fingers tracing mindless patterns on his skin. She felt a strange puckering on his side that she wasn’t familiar with and her brows furrowed. She raised her head, looking down intently at the scar on his ribs as her fingers brushed it gently.

“This is new.” 

Din looked down, following her gaze. “Oh yeah, that was a few months back. Some drunk Rodian got rowdy when I tried to handcuff him.”

“Hmm.” Was all she said.

A strange feeling overtook her at his explanation. It made her uncomfortable to know there was this entire year apart where she knew nothing about what he’d been through. They had been attached at the hip for so long, leaning on each other during jobs, being partners and best friends. It felt strange that there was now so much she didn’t know, so much she wasn’t there for.

“I’m fine. It was just a graze.” He told her, knowing from her silence where her mind had drifted to.

“That’s more than a graze, Din.”

“You know I’ve never been good with that medical shit.” He joked, making her smile and hug his side tighter.

Her eyes fell closed again as his hand moved to caress up and down the length of the back. A loud sigh left her lips as pure relaxation washed over her at his touch. 

“We don’t have any food.” Iella spoke up, her sleepy voice breaking the calm silence that coated the room. 

“I can go out and pick some things up.” He offered, watching with a small smile at the relaxation on her face, relaxation that he was causing her. 

Suddenly, a loud whine from the other room broke them of their loving daze. Iella sat up, moving to place her clothes back on to tend to the child, causing Din to frown as the heat from her body left his.

“You want me to leave him here?”

“No, you should take him with you. Let him get some fresh air. I’m sure he’s gonna be sick of us holeing him up in here.” She answered.

“If he knew how much fun we were having holed up in here, he wouldn’t complain.” Din muttered, only slightly sarcastically.

“Don’t you dare corrupt that sweet, innocent child.” Iella warned, making him laugh.

Iella bit her lip at the sound, one she would never tire of hearing. She hadn’t realized she’d drifted off into space again, though this time her happy smile gave away what she was certainly not thinking about, unlike last time.

“What?” Din’s voice made her focus again and promptly blush when she noticed his gaze on her and that she’d been caught staring dreamily at him. 

“Nothing, I just… missed you, a lot.” 

Din’s face softened and butterflies erupted within every inch of his body. He leaned forward and kissed her softly, not even having words capable enough to describe to her how much he missed her, how much he loved her. 

Suddenly, the door flew open and, thanks to his quick reflexes, Din practically threw himself from Iella and tossed the blanket over his head. Iella laughed loudly at the sight of the child standing in the doorway, his little hand raised, his eyes closed in concentration as he used his powers to open their door.

“Hey, buddy. What do you think you’re doing?” She stood and, as his grabby hands signalled, picked him up into her arms. “I’m sorry we’ve been ignoring you.” She told him and the way he nuzzled into the crook of her neck was enough to let her know he wasn’t mad.

“Can you hand me my helmet?” Din’s muffled voice from under the blanket called out. 

Smiling at the ridiculousness of the situation, she grabbed her husband’s helmet and held it out to him. His arm shot out and grabbed it, his form finally revealing itself once his face was covered.

“He’s part of our clan. Doesn’t that technically mean he can see your face?” Iella asked him, knowing to tread lightly when it came to questions of his creed which he adhered to very strictly. 

“It’s different.” Was all as he said as he stood to place the rest of his armour on. 

She nodded wordlessly, knowing this wasn’t a conversation to have now. 

“Now, you better be good for your daddy.” Iella spoke to the child as she rocked him in her arms. “No causing trouble and no stealing sweets. He does that, watch for those hands, he’s sneaky.” She told Din who nodded with a slight chuckle. 

“Got it.” 

Once he was fully armoured with his weapons strapped to him, he took the child from Iella’s arms.

“You sure you’ll be ok here by yourself?” He asked, a small, selfish part of him wishing she would cave and come with them, but he knew it was safer for her to stay here. 

“I’ll be fine.” She assured him, gently brushing a knuckle over the child’s head whose eyes closed in contentment. She smiled softly and moved to caress the bottom of Din’s helmet. “You make sure you’re careful. We don’t need rebels on our ass.” 

He nodded and leaned down, pressing the forehead of his helmet against hers as his hand covered hers. 

“I’ll be quick.” He promised, squeezing her hand and moved towards the front door, sparing a look back at her before leaving. 

Iella let out a long exhale as the door shut behind him and she was alone. She rubbed her hands up and down her arms, her fingertips tapping against her skin as her eyes roamed the empty room she stood in, looking for something to occupy her time. 

She sat herself on the bed, smiling softly at the fluffy pillows rested beneath her, something she considered to be one of the greatest luxuries. She grabbed a book she’d brought with her, one she’d found at the back of a shelf on the Razor Crest.

The book occupied her for a little while, allowing her just a little bit of reprieve from the real world. But it didn’t take long for her mind to begin to wander. She soon found herself rereading the same sentence over and over, the words on the page never registering. 

She let the book fall from her hands and she looked around the empty room once again, her nerves beginning to rise.

The silence that greeted her made her stomach turn.

She thought some solitude would do her well, that it would calm her nerves, but it was having the opposite effect. The silence soon turned to screams that echoed in her mind.

They were her own, hers that sounded while her mind was wiped. They were others, her victims that pleaded for their lives. 

They intermingled into a symphony of torture, one that threatened to break her completely. 

Without much thought, she raced out of the cottage, stumbling on her feet as she moved and slammed the door closed behind her. 

She took in a ragged deep breath, letting her eyes fall closed as she let the cool breeze wash over her. 

Images flashed in her mind, images of bloodshed and carnage that she had caused. Placing her hands over her face, she breathed deeply, forcing herself to calm down, to rid herself of the horrifying memories that plagued her. She could feel a haze coming over her, a familiar numbness taking over. A breath got choked in her throat.

That assassin was still in her, fuck, she was her. 

Iella stumbled over to the hillside and sat herself down in the grass, her legs dangling over the edge and her hands taking fistfuls of the earth below her, trying her hardest to ground herself, to not let that numbness rule her.

~~~

His mind was on her as he made his way back from the market. To be away from her on a foreign planet, even for just an hour, had him on edge. 

He finally had her back in his life, they had a second chance - well, a third chance he presumed - and he wasn’t going to take that for granted. He knew she needed her space, but it was killing him to think of all the horrible things that could go wrong in his absence.

Voros was dead, but the Empire was alive. They were still at risk and he wouldn’t rest until they were all dead and buried.

As he walked along the beach as he approached their little cottage on the hillside, he looked upwards, noticing her form sitting on the hill’s edge. He smiled softly at the sight of her. The way her long hair flowed in the wind was mesmerizing. 

Everything about the sight of her was mesmerizing. 

The child cooed at the sight of her, his face lighting up in anticipation of playing with her. 

Din rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, you’ll see your favourite person soon. Don’t need to rub it in.” He mumbled playfully. 

He was looking down at the child with a smirk, when his content face suddenly turned into one of fear as a loud cry of worry left him. Din’s head snapped upwards, looking for what had suddenly spooked him. 

His heart dropped, a feeling of terror as heavy as lead settling in his stomach as he heard the splash of water and saw the hill’s edge suddenly void of Iella’s figure. 

She had jumped into the water.

He screamed her name and sprinted as fast as he possibly could. As he made his way to the water’s edge, he hastily dropped the bag of food he was holding and snatched the satchel off his shoulder that held the child, placing it down in the sand.

“Stay there!” He yelled back to the child firmly as he raced forward into the water. He moved as quickly as the crashing waves would allow, eventually leading him to dive under the water, swimming as fast as he could to reach her.

His heart was racing, his body tense with terror that was beginning to feel all too familiar for his liking. 

With a slew of curses racing through his mind as his heavy armour slowed his movements, he eventually found her, her still form floating in the clear water. His heart jumped and he wrapped his arms around her, not noticing how she suddenly began to struggle, trying to push him off her as he hauled her to the surface.

Iella sputtered, coughing and heaving for breath as she pushed herself out of the grip she hadn’t realized was her husband’s.

She turned, ready to strike, but immediately deflated when she noticed the visor staring back at her.

“Din?” She asked breathlessly, her face creasing in confusion at the sight of him and why he was pulling her out of the water like a lifeguard. 

“What the fuck was that?!” He screamed, his grip on her waist tight, like he still felt he needed to keep her afloat. 

“What? What the hell are you doing?” 

“Me?! You jumped off the fucking cliff!” 

“Din, it’s ok. It wasn’t that far. It’s not like we’ve never done this before.” She argued back. There had been a time, when they were young and reckless (and a little drunk), that they’d gone cliff jumping in the middle of the night. 

She didn’t think this was much different.

Din obviously didn’t agree. He didn’t even have time to be relieved by the knowledge that she’d blatantly brought up a distant memory, something that, in any other circumstance, would’ve elated him. 

He could only feel the fear that was still buzzing within him at what he’d first thought. A loud, ragged gasp left his lips, one that sounded like he was struggling to breathe.

“You… you can’t just… fuck, El. You scared the shit out of me.” He spoke, his voice shaking.

Iella opened her mouth, ready to argue back, but no words came out. She realized what it looked like, what was running through Din’s mind. And the fear in his voice made guilt fester within her so deeply, it left her chest aching.

“I'm sorry. I didn’t mean for it to look…  like that.” She explained. She reached out, winding her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist so there was no space left in between them. “Din, I’m so sorry.” 

He held her tighter, his hands bunching the wet shirt against her back into fists, like he was trying to get even closer to her. 

“Why’d you do it?” He asked. He remembered that time on Corellia when they’d jumped into the water like a couple of energetic kids. He remembered she’d been terrified to jump. 

A change so simple wouldn’t have normally set him on edge, but now, after everything she’d been through, any slight deviation from the person she was all those years ago, sent terror coursing through his veins. 

His time with that wiped version of her made him paranoid over every little detail now.

“I just… I needed to feel something.” Iella said softly, as if she were reluctant to divulge the crisis she endured in his absence. “When I was that person, when I was on jobs, I would just feel numb. It was like I was walking in a daze, like I was watching everything happen from behind a screen.”

Din’s breathing hitched and his hands instinctively began a soothing motion on her back when he heard the crack in her voice as her emotions began to break. He stayed quiet, allowing her as much time as she needed to get it out. 

This was the most she’d spoken about her experience since he’d gotten her back and he wasn’t about to pressure her in any way.

“I started to feel that again.” She admitted, tears beginning welling in her eyes. “I jumped because I didn’t want any reminder of that… killer.” She spat the word with venom in her voice. 

“You’re not that person any more. You never were, not really.”

“I don’t think my psyche really cares about technicalities.” 

Din sighed at her cynical words and pulled her into him, letting her head rest against his shoulder as she hugged him tightly. The waves lapped at them methodically, effectively soothing both their racing hearts.

“I jumped because I needed to do something, anything, to not feel that anymore. I needed to shock my system or… I dunno, I just got desperate, I guess. It was the only thing I could think of.”

He nodded in understanding, his fear ebbing away the more he understood why she’d done what she’d done. It was finally sinking in that what she did wasn’t exactly deadly, tourists did that all the time in these waters, but because it was her and now, he couldn’t help but have thought the worst.

“Next time wait for me and I’ll be jumping right beside you.” 

Iella smiled softly, her love and gratitude for him blossoming to new heights she hadn’t even realized existed. 

“Deal.” 

All Din could do was hold her and hope tomorrow would be better.

~~

I hope you enjoyed some fluff before I put my OC through it again

Tags:  @cosmo-bear @lavenderl3mons @starfirette @the-feckless-wonder @kaelyn-lobrutto24 @lil-baby27 @promiscuoussatan @assassinsasha23 @killtherandomness @dartheldur @remmyswritings @boomtownboy@saramelcky @frietiemeloen @thefact0rygirl @fantasyfan4ever @thirstyb-ches @lilliannaansalla @starlite41​ @wantingtobekorra​ @moobaggg​ @altarsw

[13tinysocks]

Mini Mart Massacre

Nine Jeff X Reader One shot (3206K words)

Content warning for graphic gore, murder, mentions of vomit.

You’re covering for your shitty coworker’s shift again. Late night, it’s slow. A mysterious man comes in and starts killing your friends left and right. Will you live to see the end of the night?

Nine Jeff belongs to @killersnarl / @carnalhaus

“God, I can’t believe him.” You grumbled to your co-worker, putting twenty-ounce cokes in their place. 

“I know right.” Ricky mindlessly agreed. Understandable after hearing this sort of frustrated dribble from you for the fifth time this week. But you just couldn’t let it go, Shaun was really starting to piss you off. Didn’t even have the courtesy to call out of work or even ask for you to cover his shift. He just didn’t show up. Hardly had been for the past two weeks but the past few days he’d nearly dropped off the face of the earth.

Gabe said he got a text from the deserter, with a smile he told you that Shaun was in love. Good for him but if he wanted to run off with some prince charming then he better quit first so your personal time wouldn’t continuously be uprooted. Money was cool and all, you needed it to live but having to constantly cover the guy’s ass was fucking awful. You’d always gotten a weird vibe from Shaun, quiet, reserved, always stared so creepily at other people. If you didn’t know any better then you’d think he knew something about you and everyone else. Something bad. 

“Dude,” Tara called from the aisle behind you, “He’s happy. Give it a rest.”

“Well, I’m not. It’s annoying. I was gonna watch trash TV tonight but no, I gotta close with y’all. No offense.” The shift really wasn’t as bad as you made it sound. All you had to do was stock up the frozen food section with Ricky, sweep, and go home in fifteen. Tara would take care of the shelving in the aisles as there were only three that were mostly full. The Mini Mart only got enough business to stay afloat after all. Out in front was Gabe, last you saw he was leaning on the register counter and smiling at his phone.

“Some taken.” She snickered, “Really though, can you just stop being such a player hater?” 

“Yea,” Gabe called from out front, “Makes you seem bitter.”

“I am not- Whatever.” You just wanted to get home already, didn’t wanna argue about stupid shit. You could foresee yourself being short with your friends for the next few days since they were so adamant about being on Shaun’s side.

Ding-dong!

The cheerful robotic bell alerted of an unwanted customer.  From your position in the back, you couldn’t see them. A hush fell over the store, the place was closed. Little red and white sign hanging from the front door's handle said so. Guess they didn’t read it.

You could have sworn the blue fluorescents overhead started to burn a little brighter, buzz a little louder. The familiar pale blue tint only grew more saturated, the air felt thick. Dust discordantly floating about in the blue otherworldly shine. Owners really had to buy themselves better lights because this shit happened like clockwork. Every hour on the hour for nine minutes. 

“Hey, sorry man,” Gabe started at the thing that cast a long shadow across the floor, “We’re closing up shop right now. You can come back tomorrow.” 

There was no booming footstep, no quiet approach. Just a normal everyday sound of someone walking. 

“Hey dude, seriously. We’re closed. Put that down.” Gabe’s voice started to waver, hints of apparent fear bleeding through his stern intonation. 

“Would you have if they could have pleaded?” Deep and raspy, there was something about the way that man spoke. Something that didn’t sound annoyed or defensive but paralyzing instead. You could feel it deep in your gut, on the hairs standing up the back of your neck, on the goosebumps that’d risen from your forearms; He meant harm. Bodily. Psychologically. 

“What?” Gabe scoffed, “Ya’know what? I don’t care. I’m calling the cops.”

“You like that they trusted you, that they never thought to fight back. You like to watch them die.”

“I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about!” Gabe bleated back. The footsteps didn’t stop. You and Ricky glanced confusedly worried at one another. 

He started to pull out his phone when the mystery intruder spoke once more, “Why are you backing away then? Is it because you don’t want to drink like a thirsty dog?” 

“I- WHAT!?” A screech ripped from the front of the store. Morbid curiosity pulled you to crawl toward the nearest aisle and peak around it. Tera was staring, frozen and shaking at the sight. 

“PUT THE ME THE FUCK DOWN! FUCKING SQUARE HEAD!”

That man, that thing, was huge. Tall, broad, imposing. Only his side profile was available for viewing. Mostly obscured by long black hair, most of which had been tied into a loose ponytail. Stern browed, nose downturned, teeth showing through a tight smile. One hand about Gabe’s neck was all it took to lift the fully grown man two feet off the floor. Thumb jammed in the soft flesh where his jaw and neck met, forcing his head back. Gabe wiggled about, holding onto the man’s thick forearm for some stability but he still looked like a fish on a hook.

“SOMEONE! HELP!” Bulging brown snapped to you and the woman. No way that you were going to play hero against that fucking behemoth. Still, there was a slew of emotions kicked up by seeing a friend in that position. 

The man held a fat bottle of Bleach. Mostly used to clean out the nasty bathroom, sometimes the floor. Uncapped, tilting toward Gabe’s face. Getting what was about to happen, he twisted his lips into his mouth.

“You don’t want it?” His attacker cooed, "Aren't you thirsty after a day of hard work?"

Gabe vigorously shook his head, whining and struggling. All the three of you could do was watch. Ricky was on the phone with an operator, hopefully, help would be arriving soon but none of you wanted to brave running out the front door he was only feet away from. 

A yellowish liquid dribbled over the bottle's opening, right onto Gabe’s wide open eyes. You don’t think you’d ever forget the shrill, animal-like way he screeched. Mouth open, the man took his opportunity to jam the opening between his teeth. Gabe’s body violently revolted against the product cleaning the mucus from his esophagus. Another fat hand slapped onto Gabe’s flesh, this one squeezing his lips around the neck of the bottle. Forcing him to keep in a reactionary stream of vomit. Not without thumb and pointer pinching his nostrils shut.

"Honestly," The man started evenly, "This is so much faster than diluting it with water." Gabe violently twitched, no longer holding onto his attacker's arm but instead trying to pry to bottle away from his mouth. Nothing he did had any effect. "Hurts worse too, huh?" 

You jolted, nearly letting out a shriek when someone tapped you on the shoulder. Ricky had crawled up behind you, phone pressed between his ear and shoulder. Head jerking in the direction of a gray door. Backroom, concrete floors, ceiling hight storage shelves, always smelled vaguely if cheese. 

You caught his drift easily enough but Tera wasn't looking at either of you. Completely entranced with the two in front. As much as you wanted to bolt, you had to get her attention and get her to leave. 

Calling her over would get unwanted attention. You held up a finger to Ricky, no minimum wage worker with no healthcare benefits left behind. 

Slow and steady you got yourself off the ground. Step by step, closer and closer. Hands raising to give her a little tap while your eyes didn't leave his face. With your approach, you only got to see more and more of his face. It was something of the likes you'd never seen. 

He looked like he didn't know what moisturizer was at first. Skin warped, texture looking uneven and off-color. But it wasn't a bad case of extreme and crust from not showering. His skin shone too little in the bright light. Flesh stretched and shifted when his lips curled back into a wider, toothy grin. With the movement the indent of irritated flesh running across either cheek shifted, top and bottom moving slightly different from the other as tectonic plates of scar tissue.

Beady eyes focused on Gabe, twinkling softly hateful. You couldn't tell if all he had was a pupil or if his irises were that pale.

Please, you internally begged, don't stop looking at that shuddering body.

One finger was all it took to place a gentle tap on Tera's shoulder. 

Gasp.

She jumped and turned, unfrozen and wide eyed. So did he.

The wicked wretch drawled, “Oh, hey you.” You didn’t think someone could smile that wide. “It’s nice to see you again.”

His dubiously friendly gaze locked Tera in place. You were pretty sure she was about to piss herself. All she had to say was, “Jeff.” Applying such a human title to that thing felt very, very wrong.

“I wanna say the one and only but ya’know, common name.” Jeff flatly joked.

“I- I- I haven’t done anything else. I swear. Please-”

Jeff wheezed, fully whipping around, Gabe’s body sickly swinging in his grip. “Come on now Tera. You don’t think I haven’t been checkin’ in you? You really do think you're clever.”

THUD.

Gabe’s body lay forgotten on the floor. Bottle finally rolling away from his open mouth but it was too late. Consciousness had already slipped and judging from how hollow the container sounded as it nonchalantly rolled away, he was gonna be dead soon.

“If it wasn’t for me he would have suffered for hours. Was it the guilt you felt with yourself? Was that why you didn’t kill that poor vagrant? Or are you that pathetic to the point where you try to kill an unmoving target and fail?”

You didn’t know what he was talking about. Either way, you wanted out of there. Since you didn’t want to be guilt ridden for the loss of another, you tightly gripped her and tugged. Her shoulder was like pulling on the start of a chainsaw, after you did so, things were set into violent motion. 

Jeff lurched forward, brandishing a hunting knife that'd been yanked from it's sheath. Survival instinct kicked in fully and you let go of Tera, bolting away from the ground-shaking behemoth. She just watched him come.

Nothing was like the sound she made when the knife buried itself in her soft belly. Her body crumpled in on itself. People compared a car crash to something they couldn't peel their eyes from but this was more like a burning, three lane pile up.

You’d completely forgotten about Ricky until he grabbed you by the forearm and screamed, “Come on!” 

Jeff’s head robotically snapped up to meet your eye as you were being dragged toward the storage room door. “Hey, wait up!”

“No!” You screeched, stumbling behind Rickey, “You sick fuck!”

He sighed, exasperated by your rejection, “Your friend and I are the same, you know. You'd be better off with me.” 

Romantic implications and the sound of someone groaning in agony were never the best combo. A taste sweet yet vile like milk a few days past it’s expiration settled over your tongue. You’d never felt so disgusted and you just wanted him to, “Go away!”

Whatever Jeff was doing to her sounded distinctly wet. Mac n’ cheese that squelched so loudly that it could be compared to good pussy. But when he came around the corner to give chase, you found that he’d rearranged her guts in the worst way possible.

Balled tight in his massive fists were slimy pink ribbons. Sticking out between his fingers, tightly pulled over his knuckles. All leading back to a fat slit in Tera’s belly. Screaming and sobbing, she clutched desperately onto her own small intestine to try to pull it back. Nothing worked and she continued to be dragged along the floor like a dog on a leash.

“No,” He wouldn’t stop smiling, “I don’t think I will.”

Ricky burst through the storage room door, you in tow. You’d been back here more than a few times but what you hadn’t done was load stock into the room. It wasn’t like you hadn’t seen the doors before you sort of forgot in your piss-pants state of mortal terror. 

The shelves towered far over your head, compensating for the tiny space area. No sign of the exit was in immediate view. Ricky better hurry up and pick one of three possible paths or you’re dead meat.

If this was a badly directed horror movie, Ricky wouldn’t have known where to go. He hurriedly dragged you down a narrow pathway lined with half unpacked boxes. 

Tera and the backroom door screeched with Jeff’s entrance. His footsteps heavy and floor shaking. “The door's not going to work.” 

Ricky went to shove the door open with his side, it opened only half an inch. Again he rammed his body into the thing only for it not to budge. “Oh, no, no, no, no.” He kept at it while you looked for an odd lock or something obvious jamming the door. 

Tera finally stopped screaming. Passed out from shock, poor thing.

 The giant of a man cast a long shadow over the thin passage, backlit by pale blue. Giant hand relaxing, letting Tera’s stretched guts wetly flop onto the floor.

“There’s a way out for you, butcher.” Jeff spat out the title between grinding teeth. He was smiling so tender but his eyes didn’t reflect the sentiment.

“There is?” 

Wider. More teeth. “Look at you, hopeful little thing. Of course there is.” One step, slow, barely closing the distance. “An easy, free way out for someone who takes, and takes, and takes.” Two, three, four, faster. Knife bloody but not satiated.

You knew Ricky to steal chips from time to time but that's really it. 

Ricky quaked against the door. “No I- I donate to charities,” His eyes landed on the rosary idly hanging out of the pocket of his pants. “To the church! Thou shalt forgive or something, right?”

“Thou shall not kill.” 

“Yeah, that-”

“You haven’t been a very good boy, Ricky. God wouldn’t be happy with the bodies buried underneath your basement.” Five, six, seven.

You desperately looked around for something to defend yourself with. A pack of pudding cups within your immediate reach was snatched and thrown at the beast. “Shut the fuck up!”

Caught. “Thank you.”

Eight. Closing in. You pressed yourself into a corner and looked for an escape. There was none. All you had to cut him with was fear filled shouts, “That was meant to hit you, fucking hypocrite!”

Hand over his heart he sincerely sneered, “I am a hypocrite and I deserve to rot in hell. What does that change (Y/n)?” Morals did nothing for corpses.

Dread. Stone cold and heavy in your stomach. “You know my name?”

Jeff smiled fakely docile, “I know that you steal candy from isle two. I know that you’ve been working more hours lately.” 

All things Shaun would’ve known. Wait a second. “Are you Shaun’s boyfriend!? Did he send you to fucking kill us? I didn’t think we sucked that much dick!" You sobbed.

Jeff scratched the back of his neck, “Boyfriend is a strong word.” Ouch, poor Shaun.

The giant snapped back into his imposing demeanor, “I came to cleanse.”

Ricky quaked, “Okay, uh, fine, I can do forty-five Hail Mary’s! I can atone!” 

You didn’t understand. 

Nine.

Hot, heavy, chest heaving breaths wracked Jeff’s giant body. Icily staring down his prey/ Body so wide you didn’t have a hope of slithering passed. 

You don’t know how long you all stood in that tense limbo of inaction. Eventually, Jeff moved, slow and steady he tucked away his knife. It’s over. 

Ricky was off the ground in the blink of an eye. One of Jeff’s hand’s on either side of his head, thumbs pressing into his open eyes. Ricky kicked, screamed, and begged for mercy but judgment had already been decided.

Crraaaaccck!

Ricky’s head molded into Jeff’s fingers like cracking clay.

Yank!

Hot blood splashed onto your face, your work uniform, everywhere. Ricky wasn’t begging anymore. His voice box was ripped messily in half along with his head and upper torso. Pink and red squishy bits of gore started to slide out of place. Jeff toothily smiled at you from between the two foot gap in Ricky’s front teeth. 

Yank!

Ricky’s body flopped apart. One side hogged all his vertebrae, while the other had most of the brains.

Pleased, Jeff ran his tongue over his reddened lips. Loudly slurping as he sucked in an unidentified piece of gore. 

You vomited in your mouth, pounded your fists fruitlessly against the back door and sobbed. 

The two halves of human dropped from his hands. Landing with a sound like an egg breaking on tile floor. 

Jeff stepped over the body. You pressed yourself harder into the wall, hysterically shaking your head. 

His body heat radiated powerfully from his chest, few inches away at most. “You.”

Instead of playing the useless sole survivor, you decided to attempt to go with a fight. “Fuck off!” 

Your totally kick ass, defiant attempt to punch him in the face actually worked. He just took it. Didn’t stagger back or even yelp. Stare unbreaking.

“Eat shit!” Another punch. “Die!” Another.

The beast jerked forward with a throat-tearing roar, bloody hands coming straight for your face. You screwed your eyes shut and waited for a horrible death.

It never came. 

You popped an eyelid open to find him still as a statue. Hunched over, face so close you could smell the blood on his breath. He pinched your chin between his pointer and his thumb, tilting your head back and luring your eyes to meet his. Baby blue, sparkling with mischievous delight. 

Vile. 

You gathered all the spit you could and pelted him in the cheek with a soft slap. Clear-ish ooze dribbled down his skin, picking up a red hue as it went. 

Sirens distantly wailed. 

Jeff beamed almost affectionately at you, patted the top of your head, then kissed your forehead as you uselessly gnashed your teeth at him. “Be good.” Hands dragged off of your stained body with a sense of lingering desire, almost as if he didn’t want to leave the poor, broken, thing behind. Alas, the police were closing in and he couldn’t have you screeching like a banshee as he tried to get away. 

Mercy.

The wannabe angel began to lumber away. You didn’t hold your breath, waiting for the fake-out to end. He stopped. Here it comes. 

“Oh and (Y/n)?” Tender and kind he sounded like an old friend.

You raised shaking fists, “What?”

With one last lovely look, Jeff sweetly told you to, “Have a good night.”

Mental auto-pilot had you reply with a, “Thanks, you too.”

Nine steps and he was out of view. Three more and he was out the backroom door.

Traumatized, confused, out of friends, and caked in their blood you made a promise to yourself. Next time your paths would cross you’d have a better weapon than pudding cups.

[brandywine-tomatoes]

Dreadful Black

The Bad Batch angst

Prompt from the Discord! (@icedcoffee101, @twitchstoleyourbagel, @dragon-pups, @in-the-crosshairs, @angstkings)

Masterlist

TW: being shot, blood, falling, breaking of bones (I swear it's not as bad as it sounds)

Word count: 1,565

Prompt/Inspo: Challenge is you have 30 minutes to kill one batcher [it took me hours to outline it and actually wrote it the next day, sorry y'all ): ]

--

“You said the engines would hold until we got there!” Hunter yelled from his seat behind Echo. The ship lurched side to side, barely keeping it together. If the ship broke up in hyperspace... they didn’t want to think about it.

“I didn’t calculate one of them blowing up!” Tech yelled back, scrambling over the controls.

“One of them always blows up!”

“Would you like to try getting us to a safe planet while coming out of hyperspace?”

“Just get us out of here, Tech!” Echo shouted over the bickering. He had his own jobs of trying to keep the wings stabilized while keeping the ship balanced. All in all, not easy to do on your own.

Tech pushed up the hyperspace lever and the ship lurched forward, almost throwing everyone out of their seats. The tunnel disappeared and they were plunging to an orange and grey planet surface.

“We’re going too fast, Tech!” Echo shouted over the breaking ship.

“Then slow us down, Echo!”

“Then help me!”

Tech’s hands immediately flew to the yoke and gently pulled it back in time with Echo as they flew through the atmosphere, a trail of black smoke in the ship's wake.

“A fucking ocean! We’re gonna land in a fucking ocean!” Echo panicked.

“Calm down, there’s land over there!” Tech pointed left towards the land in the corner of Echo’s eyesight.

“I knew that!”

They swerved violently towards the orange land. It went on for miles, nothing but a rocky orange landscape. No vegetation, no life they could see. They narrowly crashed into the cliff where the land met the black ocean, but thankfully Tech pulled down the wings and lifted the ship just enough to get them over the side of the cliff.

The crew fell forward in their seats on impact, the ship dragged across the sand, every large rock making even more of a hack job of the hull. Hunter covered his ears at the sound of sand against metal and the rest braced themselves.

Everything went quiet. The ship was on solid ground, and they were surprisingly alive.

Tech took out his datapad. “Ephilia 78. Uninhabited. The troposphere is atrocious and there’s about 8 times more carbon dioxide than Kamino,” he looked up to everyone. “I’m surprised we haven’t died already. We need respirators.”

Hunter grabbed the respirators from storage and handed them out. Omega’s face was almost consumed by hers, making Echo have to stifle a laugh.

“Apparently there’s a pretty vicious rainy season-”

“Not like we haven’t dealt with a bit of rain,” Wrecker smiled.

“The ocean out there literally moves from basin to basin; this isn’t Kamino.”

Wrecker stayed silent, a look of concern on his face.

“Don’t worry, we’re 17-24 rotations away from it starting, we’ll be relatively safe.”

“Is it imperial occupied?” Hunter cut in.

“I don’t think the Empire even knows it exists, the information I found is written in Huttese.”

“Great, we’ll lay low here for a few rotations and get back to Pantora,” Hunter instructed, everyone nodding in agreement.

--

“Why is it so cold here? Aren’t deserts supposed to be hot?” Omega piped up, pulling the parka closer.

“The ocean lowers the temperature about 13 degrees,” Tech answered, his head and shoulders completely immersed in the engine. “The carbon traps what little heat there is. We’re lucky we didn’t crash someplace worse.”

“Oh, so the ocean is as cold as Kamino?” She pressed on.

“Somewhat. Though since the orbit of this planet isn’t similar...”

Tech and Omega went on and on about the conditions of the planet for some time, almost boring Echo to death.

Thankfully, Tech and Hunter delegated jobs after Tech assessed the engine. Hunter, Wrecker, and Omega went on a perimeter check and Echo was sent to do an internal diagnostic to see what was damaged in their recon mission for Rex.

He couldn’t help but think he’d been to Ephilia 78, the black waves of the vast ocean and the orange sandstone cliffs a stark contrast gave him major déjà vu. He searched his blurry memories of before Skako as he gathered an internal diagnostic from the Havoc.

He didn’t think he was stationed on any planets this far out from the core worlds. Maybe his brothers showed him photos? Maybe a General sent a holo from the planet? Maybe he really was stationed on the planet, but then again, the information about it was in Huttese. The Republic wouldn’t want to risk a terf quarrel in the middle of a galactic war. Maybe... oh. He’d seen the planet before. He’d fed the Separatists information on it for possible base locations. His shoulders sagged and the concentrated face was replaced with a grim look. His spirits dampened significantly.

He looked through the hyperdrive systems. They wouldn’t need urgent attention. The life support systems. They’d need those professionally fixed, but Tech could patch it up enough to get to Pantora. The cloaking device-

The cloaking device. It was fried, shot to hell. Their ship was completely exposed for tracking. Shit.

He ran to the doorway and slide down the ramp.

“Tech, we have a prob-”

A bright red bolt came from above, hitting the respirator at the perfect angle to knock it off his face. Only one person could make that shot.

“Echo, what-” Tech froze at the sight of an Imperial dropship landing close to them, the cargo doors open and a familiar sniper stepped out.

Echo gasped for breath, his throat freezing and cracking like an ice burg from the toxins he was desperately trying to inhale in exchange for oxygen. He clawed at his throat like ripping it out would solve the problem, black slithered through veins in his face, the whites of his eyes swimming with blood.

Crosshair advanced faster and Echo stumbled to the side, trying to stay standing while heaving in gulps of carbon and whatever lethal toxins were waiting for victims to breathe in.

“You know,” Cross’s cold and raspy voice was much closer. “There’s just enough oxygen in the air to keep you alive for 5 minutes, but the trick is not poisoning yourself while trying to breathe.”

Echo kept backing away, tripping over every pebble he could when he felt the first of a thick liquid hitting his cheeks. His shaking hands whipped it away to see pure obsidian sap smeared on the back of them.

“The maitotoxin is quite graceful. Your blood thickens and discolours, releasing from the tear ducks in the first 2 minutes. Your organs start failing in the next 7,” Crosshair shouldered his rifle as he spoke.

Echo tried whipping away the blood more rapidly as it flowed like sap from a tree. It was as if the fates wanted to watch him dance in his own blood bath.

As Cross neared closer and closer, Echo glimpsed the sea and the dangerous cliff edge he was backing into in the menacing green visor. He started hacking the obsidian sap up from his lungs, the blood blocking his airway made him panic even more.

He felt, for a few seconds, a free fall. His foot backed off the edge, the rocks under his boots fell to the black waves. Cross caught his arm before he fell to Echo’s surprise, but Cross’s grip on his forearm was his only salvation.

“Do you remember?” Cross asked coldly, any semblance of a person gone.

“What- what?” Echo painfully asked.

“When you were on Skako Minor.” Cross’s grip on Echo’s armour loosened.

Echo didn’t have any kind of leverage on the ground, he had to be pulled back by some ounce of Cross’s mercy.

“Some-” he tasted the blood running from his eyes into the corners of his mouth, frightening him and almost plummeting into the black, quite literally. He could feel the cold seeping in from the light spray of the ocean on his back. He’d known the cold like it was an old friend, and he would know it even more closely.

“Some of it.”

The green visor tilted to the hand holding Echo’s life.

“You’re a liability to the empire,” he smoothly said, like he spoke those words too many times, like he was programmed to. Like Echo was programmed to give up the Republic.

After a second of hesitation, CT-9904 released Echo’s arm.

His face was a light blue from lack of oxygen, his cheeks were smeared with pure obsidian blood, creating a mess of black tear tracks.

He fell, he dropped, he didn’t make a sound. He was unconscious before he hit the water, a peaceful death if you will. It shattered his spine and limbs immediately, the frigid water swirling over him, sucking Echo to the depths of the sea to be eaten by small fishes and a rather large squid-like fish.

The others had found a hiding spot behind an orange sandstone ridge and watched as the life was sucked out of Echo, then let go by their brother. Omega’s head was pushed below the ridge so she couldn’t watch, the others so desperately tried to hold back sobs, trying to keep quiet.

Cross searched the Batch’s ship quickly and speedily left back on the one he came in. Only when the Imperial shadow of a dropship darted through the thick, grey clouds did the Batch let their sobs go for Echo.

--

A/N: OMFG, that took forever!!! My outline for this is 613 words, I knew exactly how I wanted this to turn out, and I very much like it! I think Imperial Darkness will always be my favourite, or the one I'm writing with Ahsoka, Rex, and Maul, but this one turned out pretty cool!

ANYWAYS, I hope y'all liked it! I hated the process, but I love the final product! Go drink some water right now and go get a snack, you deserve it so much bestie 💓💓

[romeshifting]

Reflection

TW: shifting doubts, self-depreciation, religious doubt, parents mention, pandemic mention, panic attack mention

This is just a reflection on how I’ve grown as a person and a kind of vent--it’s not meant to be a judge of anything else. You don’t even have to read it, I just needed to get it off my chest. Hope everyone is having a great day! :]

Oh, and also a response to an anon who asked if there was proof shifting was real--I’ll answer your ask soon with other kind of proof! 

I’ve been trying to shift for about four months now. Since...I want to say the end of August. 

Back then, I wasn’t very spiritual. Sure, I was beginning to explore the wiccan philosophy--but I would eventually drop that because I wanted to focus more on manifestation and meditation--but I really wasn’t sure of my own religion. My parents forced on me the idea that there was no god, but day in and day out I would pray. Pray to what? I didn’t know. Since I was a young child, I asked for signs if there was something out there, anything that could help me...but nothing came. Er, nothing obvious.

For good reason too, I believe. I’ve said this before, but I believe that everything happens for a reason. It’s a cliché, for sure, but if something happens, there’s a cause. So me not finding any higher deity and going on my own path? That’s caused me to learn a lot about myself and my family (/neu), as well as what path I want to take in life. 

Now, I’m much more spiritual, and can confidently say I am pagan and go with the Universe. Even a year ago, I would have called myself weird or insane. Hell, I went into the pandemic thinking I was cis, bisexual, a STEM gal, using she/her pronouns exclusively--now I get pissed when someone calls me a lady and want to move to New York with every ounce of my being.

The point is, I’ve grown. I have new interests, identities, friends (shiftblr!), communities (again, shiftblr), knowledge, and so many other positive things. 

But I also have negative things too. I have a new fear of my parents, a new desperate need for therapy, a fear of talking to my IRL friends because of how much I’ve changed, self-depreciating thoughts that plague me every day (thanks mom and dad /neg) and a new relation to characters who specifically are confident with debilitating poor self-esteem. On that note, I hadn’t had a panic attack before the pandemic--now I can have three and then hide it so well.

And I’ve become so painfully positive! Sure, it brings me people who think my vibes are nice and people who are generally nice to me, but I know someone’s going to eventually turn on me or use me. And I can’t keep up the positive persona; I don’t have the spoons for that! 

I now know myself and what I’m living in, but at the cost of what mental stability I had left. 

That was actually my cause for wanting to shift a few months ago. My first script was horrifyingly real with my friends in it (I would never shift there but there are salvageable pieces), I wrote it all in the span of a few hurried hours locked in my room. And then I tried to shift. I tried every method in the book, then my own method mix, then no method. I joined shifting server after shifting server. 

As I was doing this, I experienced the same symptoms--even now. I always feel numb, I always feel so tired but not able to sleep, I always feel like I’m being pushed down, I always feel so weirdly comfortable, I always felt unable to move when relaxing during the day. But every single time, I always move for many reasons--because I can’t feel my heartrate so I’m worried I’m not going to wake up, because there was an itch on the back of my head, because the numbness was too much for my sensory issues, because my sister had fallen asleep already and began talking, etc. 

Part of me wants to say “I failed” and give up on this, like I’ve given up on so many other things. Could shifting be a passing hyperfixiation? I tried learning how to draw during the summer--I still haven’t finished the course because I gave up on it! I couldn’t delete this blog without getting rid of my sideblogs--but I suppose it wouldn’t be a big deal if I disappeared. Not from life, I’ve learned my lesson there, but online. It wouldn’t be a big deal if I just stopped trying to shift. It’s not like I’m in that deep well of mental woe anymore...it’s more of a river, constantly dragging me away now. I don’t need to shift anymore. 

But despite all of it, I know that shifting is real. How could I explain away the symptoms I feel? How could I explain the scream I heard, the tingling I felt, the tap on my forehead? How could I explain why so many people are interested in it? How could I explain why the government has documents on how to shift? How could I explain why two people have the exact same symptom/experience? How could I explain why more than one person on this site has shifted successfully? 

But most of all, how could I explain this community? Everyone helping each other out, teaching each other new things. How could I explain the forty-or-so shifting accounts I follow? 

I can’t. I can’t explain any of it. That’s proof that at least something about shifting is real. 

I used to be so strict, so “I have to see it to believe it” because of my parent’s teachings. But now I’m actually me. Actually Rome, the guy who realized that his love of analyzing films actually has a use. Actually Rome, the person who managed to cry alone--a great feat for someone who’s never done that before. Actually Rome, who’s created so many good projects and writings. 

And I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. It’s not great, it’s certainly not the happiest I’ll ever be, and I can’t call myself actually happy, but...I’m good. I can confidently say that I am alive and living life the best I can--which is more than I can say for 13-year-old me. And I’m turning 16 in a few months!

Things may not be good in my life right now--I’m not free to do much I want to do--but I have a reason to keep going with shifting and with how I’m living life--quite a few, actually! All I need to know is that I am myself, and I’m strong enough to hold out until I can move out, probably when I turn 20 or something (>:/). 

Anyone who’s actually read to this point, I guess thank you? 

[kingofthewilderwest]

Are you really happy without the conventional work? How do you deal with feeling like a failure compared to your peers? How the fuck do i adult i'm so tierd and stressed and don't know what i'm doing

I'm really sorry about how tired, stressed, and uncertain you may be feeling. <3 That's really hard stuff to feel. And I mean that with every ounce of sympathy I wish I could express better beyond this stiff text. Sending you all the love.

I am happier without doing conventional work. It might be less stable because my jobs are short-term, and the instability does make me nervous, but I feel like it has more pros than cons for my personal happiness. It will not be for everyone, though, and I would not recommend it for everyone.

I'm assuming when you ask about feeling like a failure, it's both in concern to how I feel with it, and how you might feel yourself. <3 <3 I hope that this answer ends up helping. It's the best I can try. <3

As for myself, I don't for a second believe I am a failure. I've always been a cocky bitch, and here the cockiness reigns supreme: I'm pretty awesome whether I do anything or not. When I'm exhausted and unhappy and Depression takes over (and hooboy Depression can take over like demon possession), my mind might stray to unbearable self-hate and self-deprecation, but I argue against those voices rather than let them enter my everyday language about myself. (It's a dangerous habit to ever repeatedly insult yourself; it ingrains those thoughts in you worse, it really does.)

There's nothing that makes me a failure compared to my old peers. They're pursuing jobs that society traditional deems "successful." So what? They're irrelevant to me and my life, and my life is irrelevant to them. Society's ideas of what is and isn't good has always been complete bullshit anyway... why should I care if I amount anything to what broader society feels? Broader society is stupid and I don't give a damn about it. I'm not saying this out of bitterness or rejection or something; I honestly don't care because it's irrelevant to me.

I'm here to pursue myself, pursue what I personally like. If I feel happier, if I make a milestone that's relevant to me and myself and I, then that's awesome. In many ways, if I'm different than my old peers and not following into their notion of success, then I know I'm doing right by myself. ;) It's proof of my own growth, isn't it?

The truth of the matter is, nobody is a failure for being different than someone else. Every person has a different life path. I know for many people, they are more self-conscious about how the world around them operates, how the world sees them. If the world doesn't find them successful, beautiful, etc., they feel like shit. Maybe you feel self-conscious about not meshing with society or being "as good as" other people around you. And I'm here to say: your life is your life. <3 <3 I know it can be hard to stop comparing yourself with others, but in the end, I do believe we have to understand our own innate value is permanent. Our value is there no matter what. You are beautiful. Period. There's no ifs, ands, buts, accomplishments, actions, or choices that will change the fact you are innately incredible. <3

The people whose heart meshes with yours, the people who lift you up, those are the people that matter, and those people will never believe you're a failure. Those people will see you as the diamond you are. If people judge you and are cruel to you for that, then their voices are the irrelevant ones to be discarded, because they aren't valuing you, and so they don't have good life advice or good values. There's no value listening to idiots, fools, and castigators. Now, that's not to say that good friends and acquaintances won't tell you you're doing something wrong or struggling or making a bad choice... a good friend is someone who protects you by speaking honestly and warning you if they think you're stumbling... but they aren't going to put you down as some failure, either. They're there to help you move forward with your life's journey for yourself.

We all struggle. We all stumble. We all fall. We all fuck up. We all get tired. We all don't know what we're doing. We all flail around aimlessly. We all make the wrong choice. We all look "better" to outside viewers than we see of ourselves. We see the sloppiest parts of ourselves whereas most others don't, so that's why it's easy to be the most critical with yourself and start bashing on yourself. But I guarantee that my peers, shiny as their PhDs might look, have probably had nights where they've cried into their pillows, or been frazzled, or been at bad low points, or wished they were anyone else. And I wish them the best and emotional security, but what it means is: we're all some level of fucked up anyway. Some people have worse struggles than others, and that needs to be respectfully recognized, but at the end of the day, we're all human and we all struggle and our pains are all real things we experience. The pain is real and it's valid to feel bad over it. The best we can do is give ourselves a break, stop tormenting ourselves internally over our natural inability to be perfect, and when we have the strength, to give love and support to others so they don't stumble as bad as we did.

I want to relate to you by saying... I think I was constantly clueless, confused, anxious, and apprehensive in the first half of my twenties. It sucked and I'm sorry if things suck for you.

Somehow....... I think a switch was flipped somewhere when I got more years of "adulthood" under way. The switch flipped from "I hate that I don't know what I'm doing" to "ehhh, whatever, life is life." Now, it's not to say I'm more organized. I'm not. My refrigerator has more mold than food. There's a horrible smell coming from the kitchen sink where water's been resting in a dirty pot for several days. My laundry is scattered all over the floor and I've run out of pairs of clean underwear... ran out several days ago. Don't ask what I'm wearing. I don't know the last time I've vacuumed and my place looks like a tornado zone. It took me several months to have the mental energy to schedule my first COVID shot, and I often have to cancel my banjo lessons like an unreliable buttfart because something Came Up In Life Just Now. In many ways, my life is still a chaos zone. I think I'm getting better (I've earned a ton of money in my savings account the last two years, victory!!! I'm no longer living month-to-month!!!). But I just want to say in all this.... it's okay. It's not preferable that my house is disorganized piles of crap on the floor, but I can continue to live. If we manage to wake up, get ourselves food, do hours of work, then we have achieved adulthood, and everything else is icing on the cake.

In the end, I think "stability" in adulthood is being semi-comfortable with instability. Adulthood just means handling unstable shit, and if we're novices with it, so be it. Maybe as your life goes forward, things will be less tiring and less confusing. Maybe things will be more stable. Or maybe not. Maybe the same problems will keep coming around. But I think adulthood is the ability to accept that these problems come around, and handle them, even if you aren't 100% a master at the novel circumstances.

And over time, I do believe it gets easier. <3 It takes more to rock the boat. It takes more to daunt you. The things that were initially anxiety-causing become a part of everyday affairs, and when a new novel circumstance comes up, you're more mentally prepared to try on something new. I encourage you to keep at it, my friend. I hope things feel better over time. It's okay that you aren't sure what you're doing right now. Maybe someone can help you in the present day. Maybe in the future you'll know what you're doing with tasks that previously confused you. Maybe in the future, the new weird tasks won't feel as daunting. Adulthood is weird and we don't know what we're doing, but that doesn't mean that life is going to fuck us through that.

In the end, you will still have beauty in your life. No matter what, beauty will exist in its simplest forms, and the simplest forms are the best. You don't need to achieve anything to get there. You don't need to be put together (although being put together is nice and something I want to help my friends feel <3 ). You don't need to look impressive in society. If you see a beautiful sunset, if you see a cluster of cute mushrooms, if you pet a cat or dog or animal of your choice, if you spend twenty minutes talking with your friend on voice call, if you read a good book for half an hour in the morning, if you buy yourself a tasty $4 drink to treat yourself, then your adult life is worth it, and your adult life is enough. <3

[ranposlittle]

hi!! i love your work! can i request a nsfw scenario with chuuya and fem s/o topping or pegging him ? thank you !!!

Genre: NSFW, Little Scenarios

Tags: Pegging, Femdom, Strong language, A bit of degradation

▮ ❝ Hello, anons~ I hope you don't mind that I'll collectively answer your requests. I'm truly not well-versed in the act of pegging and tbh it's not my cup of tea. But I wanted to challenge myself so I hope you'd like this~ (>︿<｡) ❞

It was no secret to anyone who has met you that you certainly are always on top of everything that you do.

You're ambitious, driven and independent. That's what magnetized him towards you in the first place, and he will never try to change that.

He's proud of who you are and to be honest, it kind of inflates his ego– because behind close doors, he gets to be the one with the most control.

That's how it is usually, anyway. Tonight, however, is anything but usual.

·⊹⊱— 「 𝙳𝚊𝚣𝚊𝚒 • 𝙾𝚜𝚊𝚖𝚞 」 —⊰⊹·

“Careful, my darling. You might hurt me with that.” Dazai chuckled nervously.

He spoke as if you're pressing a knife against his throat, but you really can't blame him. After all, you are pressing the lubed up tip of your strap-on dildo on his barely prepared asshole.

“Don't worry. Believe it or not, I've done this before.”

Dazai harshly sucked air through his gritted teeth as you slowly pushed your way inside the tight passage of his anus. Pain and pleasure instantly mixed and coursed within the blood on his veins, foiling his attempt to recollect the bridge of events that led him to be bound, naked and face down on your bed like a sacrificial offering. Which he probably is given the lack of foreplay and regard for his overall well-being, he's sure you're doing this as a punishment more than anything.

“I'm not stupid, Dazai,” you declared as you push the last inch of the dildo inside him. “I know that you keep flirting with other women in front of me to make me jealous, even if I've warned you multiple times.”

You don't have to be a detective to notice the side glances he would give you while running a finger on some other girl's jaw or how he would deliberately comment on someone else's beauty even if you're right beside him. He's been acting up like a spoiled brat ever since you got a big project that you've been working on most of the time and barely paid him any attention. You supposed that you underestimated how needy your boyfriend can be but you really wouldn't tolerate such bratty attitude from anyone. It's time for you to put him in his proper place.

Dazai scoffed arrogantly, preparing to give you a snappy comeback. But with just one hard thrust, his words dissipated into nothing but a pained groaned. You didn't really want to give your boyfriend a chance to sweet talk his way out of this, so you followed up with your actions. Blow after blow, thrust after thrust– Dazai was trying his hardest to keep himself stable while you recklessly plow him.

His cock was flushed against the mattress but it still manages to achingly twitch every time you hit that special spot deep within him. The small friction his erection is getting from your movement is enough to make him cream, and he's very conscious about the possibility that he has already stained your sheets with the pre-cum he failed to prevent leaking out.

“I hope by now you've understood that you belong to me as much as I belong to you,” you stated. “I can fuck you as hard as you fuck me.”

Dazai sneered, “That's for sure.”

Despite the beads of sweat rolling down his face and the awkward way his usual smirk is quirked up on his lips, it gave you much delight to know that your seemingly confident boyfriend enjoys being dominated over like this as much as you do. You smirked and gave one of his ass cheeks a stinging smack before re-adjusting your position and burying your dildo deeper inside him.

Dazai cried out, choking in between chanting your name and vocalizing his moans that won't stop escaping his throat.

“So good,” he said in a low whisper but somehow still made its way on your ears.

His moans began to be more relaxed now, he's definitely feeling more of the pleasure than the initial sting of being pegged. You pinned yourself in position by grabbing on Dazai's hips and began to pound him even harder than you already have.

Each one of your violent pushes knocked the wind out of Dazai's lungs, but he couldn't care less because, as your dildo reach the deepest parts of his hole, it sends him flying in to the sky. You're hitting the places he himself never knew existed; spots that makes his eyes roll so far back in his head and make his whole body numb from the overwhelming pleasure.

Dazai clenched his jaw hard as you hit a specific bundle of nerves over and over again, taking him higher and higher, further and further to the edge, and before he knew it– his defenses crashed down on him.

With your dildo still planted deep inside him, Dazai screaming out your name was your only warning before he tightly pressed his lips together and let his cum unload, spurting wildly out of his cock. Visible white lines are made after another, painting a some sort of pattern of strokes on your sheets that could be considered artistic if it was made by a different material.

You smiled proudly with what you've done, keeping your thrusts deep and controlled as you let your boyfriend finish his release. While Dazai is still dazed and high from such an explosive ejaculation, you took the chance to lean in to his ear. With the sweetest voice you could do, you gave him another threat if he ever decided to pull such an act on you again.

“Maybe next time, I'll have you wear a butt plug when you go to work and make you play with it while your co-workers are around.”

In which, your mischievous boyfriend replied with an amused chuckle.

·⊹⊱— 「 𝙲𝚑𝚞𝚞𝚢𝚊 • 𝙽𝚊𝚔𝚊𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚊 」 —⊰⊹·

“Shit,” he exhaled, tears collecting at the edges of his eyes. “Slow down, babe.”

Chuuya's soft plea was tantalizing but given the way he looks beneath you, slowing down isn't really something you'd want to do. Both of his hands are handcuffed on either side of the bed frame, trembling legs splayed wide open for you and his cock visibly twitching with every brutal thrust you gave him.

You smirked at him, eyes darkened with lust as you ignored his contorted face to go in an even faster pace. Chuuya growled and cursed, eyes shut tightly and fists clenched as he tries to get accustomed to being the one taking all the blows.

“What's wrong? Isn't this what you wanted? A little excitement?” Your tone was sharp like daggers and along with the burning sting on his ass hole, he felt a prick on his chest.

It's true that lately he had been neglecting you, he even thought about breaking up. He didn't think it was fair to keep all of this from you though, so he decided to tell you about it. The spark between the two of you is starting to die, he says. He needs a bit more excitement in his life, he says. Well maybe he just need a reminder as to who he's exactly talking to.

With every sputtering curses, shaky whimper and throaty groaned that Chuuya let's out, your pride swells up. Your attention dropped from his flustered face and down to his needy cock, its pre-cum already threatening to trickle down his shaft.

You grabbed it with vigor, instantly pumping it as mercilessly as your thrusts. Your reward came from your boyfriend's little cries and begs for a little break.

“(Y/N)... Please... I–” he choked out.

“What? Are you going to come? I guess you really liked being fucked hard, don't you?” You asked but Chuuya can't give you a coherent answer even if he wanted to. All he can muster is a string of broken curses and pleads.

Still feeling unsatisfied, you ordered him.

“Say it. I want you to beg me to let you come.”

You saw his frown deepened but nothing left his lips but drawn out moans. You gave him a particularly rough thrust before stopping everything at once. His eyes shot open, and looked at you with some degree of horror.

“Alright, alright. Fine,” Chuuya blurted out, taking a deep breath and then sighing.

“I–” another deep breath. He clenched his jaw on the thought of throwing every ounce of his pride as a man out of the window but his ache for a release prevails over his logic. “I– I want to come, okay? Wait, no. Please let me come.”

It made you scoff with how pathetic he sounded like, but you still didn't have him exactly where you want him to. So, you rub your thumbs along the swollen tip of his cock and demanded: “Again.”

Chuuya's face once again contorted in agony. Any residue of what once was his dignity is now wiped off as he let himself completely surrender to you.

“Just fuck me and let me come, goddammit!” He exclaimed. “Please just let me come.”

“See? That wasn't so hard.” You smirked at him, and he just clicked his tongue in annoyance. “Now, you get a reward.”

Once your hips started to move, Chuuya's head planted once more on the pillow underneath him. His abs constantly clenching and unclenching as his breathing gets more uneven with every one of your swings and strokes.

You remained silent as you picked up on your pace, letting your boyfriend's screams and moans occupy your ears. You let the hunger for lust and power blaze a fire in your core and consume you as you watch Chuuya's features tighten. His cock started to twitch wildly on your palm, his cried got louder and more desperate and as you gave another one hard push inside the walls of his abused anus, Chuuya came unraveling in front of you.

His voice rang throughout the four walls of the bedroom as ribbons upon ribbons of his white, warm cum squirted out his cock and decorated his own toned body.

The rest of his ejaculation was squeezed out of him by the shallow pulses of your dildo deep inside his ass, and he let out an almost animalistic growl as he spills every last drop that he have.

When he was done, he cursed you in the most loving way as he tried to stabilize his own breathing.

You pulled out unannounced, making him hiss for the last time. Without saying a word, you left him there to think about what he told you about his feelings. Maybe he'll change his mind whilst he soaks on his own cum.

[hyunjilicious]

Like any other night. Henry Cavill

A/n: since his bd was about a week ago, i saw a lot of blurbs of the reader treating Henry right, so i figured, it was her turn let loose and enjoy his skills

Summary: 0,1% plot, as after a house party, Henry decides to treat his girl right. In the kitchen.

Warning: SMUT

-

You know you’re in deep when even the smallest of gestures have you swooning and catapult your mind down an endless spiral, drowning in the sweetest of thoughts. As the party you had planned finally came to an end, you found yourself in the middle of the kitchen, wiping dry a plate that had no more droplets of water left whatsoever. You had a ridiculous smile on your lips as you stared into nothingness, a situation fueled by the simple kiss Henry planted on the side of your neck as he closed the door after the last guest left your apartment.

“What're you thinking about?” he asked amused, but his words flew right past your ears. At first, he too was too lost in his chores to notice you hadn’t answered, but as a few minutes passed by where you failed to reply, he finally turned to look at you. “Love?”

“Yeah, sorry” you said hurriedly, shaking your head to help you come back to your senses,  “What?”

“You alright?” he laughed, looking at you over his shoulder as he arranged the plates into the already full sink.

“Yeah” you smiled, throwing the cloth onto the counter, “I’m good, yeah, sorry”

“I say we leave these for tomorrow-” Henry suggested, pointing to the mess of dishes, bottles, plastic bags and over all mess around the kitchen, and cringed when he turned to you, “I know you hate to-”

“No, I agree” you shook your head, “I’m too lazy right now, but I’ll just clear the counter for breakfast tomorrow and then I’ll come to bed”

“I’ll help you,” he offered.

Before he got to work, Henry walked over to you and leaned down to press his lips to your forehead. You smiled and leaned into his hold, slipping your arms under his to press him closer to you. Your head now rested on his shoulder, fingers intertwined behind his back, “I could fall asleep right here”

“I’m not that flattered” he laughed, kissing the top of your head, “You can fall asleep anywhere”

“Oh, shut up” you giggled, pulling away from him and slapping him lightly against his chest, “Let’s clean this mess”

He shook his head in disbelief but obeyed. No one could call what you were doing ‘cleaning’, all you two did was throw the garbage out, move everything into the sink or hid it in some more hidden corners, and in the end, you wiped the surface clean and were ready to call it a day. As you threw out some paper towels, Henry walked over to you and wrapped his arms around your middle. 

“What are you doing?” you asked, leaning your head back. As you spoke, your eyes handed on Henry’s right hand, where he was holding one of the fancy bottles of wine you had bought during your last vacation to Toussaint. “Henry-”

“Let’s finish this” he whispered, leaning down, and proceeding to treat your skin with the kisses only he knew where to place in order to drive you crazy dangerously fast. 

The wine, his presence, his touch, the atmosphere and the buildup that was created all throughout the evening had you caving as fast as he expected. You raised a hand and placed it on the side of his face as he continued to treat your neck with the kind of rough bites that were damned to leave crimson bruises. The ones you wore so proudly around him. Even though when you went out you always did your best to hide them, when it was just the two of you, they were always on full display. 

Henry placed the bottle on the recently cleaned counter and pressed his hands onto your sides, bringing your body flush against his'. His touch burned right through the short, marine blue dress you chose for the evening, the material doing absolutely nothing to keep you from feeling the lust that dripped from his fingertips. 

It didn’t take long before you turned around in his embrace and forced his head up, so instead of your neck, his lips kissed yours. The situation quickly evolved into one that wouldn’t be dropped until at least one of you would have the other one screaming their name in pleasure. For some reason, right now you wanted to hear yours, to hear your name slipping through his lips as he couldn’t possibly manage to muster anything else. You wanted to have him hypothetically on his knees, even though you were the one ready to kneel in front of him.

“Babe...” you moaned against his lips, pulling away with a wicked smile on your lips. Before you got a chance to lean down, Henry grabbed your waist, and effortlessly pushed you up and right down on the counter behind you.

He looked at you with pure lust dripping through his lashes. You couldn’t help but attack his lips once again, the aggravation of your kiss matching the one building between your legs. When he pulled away, in one swift motion, he brought the wine bottle to your lips, motioning for you to drink. You did so, and grabbed the bottle from his hands for better stability, as he settled his palms on your thighs. He worked his way up, pushing your dress aside and exposing the soft skin of your legs. 

After satisfying your thirst, you put the wine down and leaned back, propping your weight on your elbows, parting your legs, clearly excited about what was to come even if it wasn't what you originally planned. His eyes left yours and traveled down your body, but you kept your stare fixed on his hungry features.

Just by massaging your thighs he already had your mouth watering, biting into your lower lip. One of his hands eventually crawled between your legs, making its way up to the cotton material that covered your opening. You couldn't help but shiver when his thumb brushed over your clit, and you were sure he felt how wet you were already. 

"Come 'ere, love" Henry sighed, calling for you. This time he kissed you and the longing passion that was previously present in the way he moved his tongue was now replaced by pure greed and need for domination. His teeth sank into your bottom lip, the stinging pain turning into waves of pleasure that propagated throughout your whole body and down to your clit, where his hand was still present, still motionless. 

In a desperate need to release some of the pressure, you tried to rub your thighs together, trapping his hand between your thighs.

"Baby girl" he smiled against your lips and grabbed your chin, "Let me"

You nodded eagerly.

Henry instantly pulled away and wrapped his fingers around the elastic of your underwear, pulling on them. Your pantries rolled down your hips just a little bit; he knew he could rip them off of you no problem, but decided to at least give you a heads up, and a chance to keep them in one piece. He tapped your thighs rapidly, and you pushed yourself up just enough so he could slip your underwear down your legs in a hurried motion. 

Henry shook his head in disbelief, feeling the dampness of the material against his palms. This simple gesture made you even wetter, craving his tongue against your opening up to a dangerous extent. 

You wanted to open your mouth and prompt him to stop keeping your waiting, but what ended up coming out of your lips was a choked gasp, as he forced your legs open. Taking a step forward, he settled at the edge of the counter, his hands on your hips. 

"Drink up, love" he commanded, and as soon as the bottle reached your lips, his fingers started brushing up and down your folds. All this teasing was sure to have you lasting a ridiculously short amount of time, but you were dead set on enjoying every last second of it. 

Henry worked his index and middle finger in and out of you at an agonizingly slow pace, pulling his hair out of the way with his other hand. During the lock-down, in the beginning he tried to keep up with the grooming and the hair and skin care routine he had gotten used to, but three weeks in, he started skipping days and ignoring the scruff that began showing along his jawline. Now he had curls falling down on his forehead, a light bear that decorated his chin and it was a sight you loved waking up to.

Eventually, he lowered himself between your legs and lodged his hands behind your knees, lifting your legs up and prompting the heels of your feet on top of the edge of the counter. At this particular moment you were spear wide open in front of his wandering eyes, this vulnerability making your squirm with excitement. 

Leaning back against your elbows, you threw your head back so that you couldn't see what he was up to. Getting ready to attack your clit with his lips, Henry still took pleasure in teasing you using only his thumb. 

"Come on" you moaned.

After this, you expected a snarky remark, or for him to prompt you to be patient and wait, but instantly you felt his hot breath against the ever so sensitive skin between your legs before his hot lips pressed against your opening. This forced a moan out of your lips, the excitement working your heart into overdrive. 

He flattened his tongue against your folds, carefully licking his way up. Your breath rate picked up his skilled movements attacking all the right spots. 

As the pleasure was building up, he circled his lips around your clit, sucking fervidly. For a split second, his tongue brushed against your bundle of nerves, making every ounce of pleasure in your whole being amplify. During this time, his fingers dug mercilessly into the skin of your thighs, applying there the force and pressure he felt pumping through his veins. 

The only thing audible in the room were your pained moans, as you felt yourself nearing a thundering orgasm. Just when you thought you reached the breaking point, Henry stopped.

"We're not gonna do this if you don't look at me" he grinned, and for some reason, his words were enough to mess up the rhythm of your heart beats. You forced your head up, and instantly met his eyes, now darker. His lips, damp with your juices were shining devilishly in the warm light of your apartment. It was easy to tell he was taking pride in making you lose control to this extent.

As you settled comfortably so you could also look down at him, Henry resumed his place between your legs. This time, as he sucked mercilessly at your clit, he also pushed two of his fingers inside of you, the combination making your head spin. You threw one hand into his hair, curling your fingers into his locks. It wasn't just that you needed more of him, that you wanted him to go deeper and harder, but it also gave you a sense of reality that did wonders in making you lose control.

"Henry…" you cried. Seeing the top of his head between your legs, lightly bobbing up and down as he treated your pussy in the best way possible, you felt your high start to envelop you. The incoming orgasm arched your back as you squirmed in pleasure. Although failing to stay still, Henry showed no signs of slowing down. Your toes curled as the whole skin of your body became covered in goosebumps. Uselessly trying to find something to grip into your hands, Henry sucked your clit into oblivion, the height of the orgasm finally fully enveloping you. 

Even when your legs stopped shaking so roughly and you fell back against the counter, he kept going for a few more seconds, making sure to not leave any part of your craving more. 

"How is it that you taste better every time?" he smirked, straightening his back and licking his lips.

All you managed to do was send him a weak chuckle, as you allowed your legs to slip down, your feet dangling next to his calves. 

"You feeling good, love?" Henry grinned, placing his palms down on your sensitive thighs, rubbing them carefully.

You nodded yes, and extended your arms towards him, signing for him to help you up. He did so in an instant, effortlessly pulling you up. Your face reached the same level as his and your eyes, hooded and looking somewhat lost were no match for the fire burning inside his'.

"It's my turn, H" you whispered, curling your fingers into the collar of his shirt and pulling him in for a kiss. You could feel your own taste on his lips and tongue, and the fact that he knew it and loved it, made you crave him all over again.

[river-bottom-nightmare]

I am incapable of writing ANYTHING BUT ANGST. but really this is all elle’s fault, she asked for the fic, I provided. it’s under the cut, have fun with it. it’s on ao3 here.

tag list: @anothertimdrakestan @comicsandhoney @yesboopityboop @dangerduckjpeg @astroherogirl @birdy-bat-writes @thebatsandbirdsofgotham​ @subtleappreciation​

Tim had never been afraid of his mind. His ruthlessness was sharper than blade and his detective skills were keener than a bullet. He wasn’t some sort of super-genius, but he didn’t have to be. He was enough.

Sure, sometimes the wide, disbelieving eyes of his teammates made him a bit uncomfortable. But at the end of the day, he was keeping them safe, wasn’t he? Their comfort was a small price for their lives.

And now? Now he was damn grateful.  

“Cloning attempt forty-five unsuccessful. Samples discarded.” The cool voice cut through the greenish-gloom, cold and mechanical. At times, Tim wished the voice held at least an ounce of warmth. He’d take any bit he could get, and wrap it around himself like a tattered blanket, just willing it to do its job and keep him safe. Other times, Tim was glad the robotic voice was frigid, impersonal. He couldn’t guarantee he wouldn’t break down at the first sign of kindness.

“Diagnostic,” Tim said, bent over a computer.

“Protein link breakdown at twenty-three hours and thirty-seven minutes. Full destruction at twenty-four hours and twenty-eight minutes.”

“Solutions?”

“Suggested stabilizer: trehalose.”

“Run it, next trial.”

“Cloning attempt forty-six initiated.”

                                                      _________

“Tim, come on! Cut me some slack!” Kon was trying to pout, but one look at Tim’s raised eyebrows caused him to double over laughing. “It’s not fair!”

“It’s totally fair. You just suck at this.” Tim was straightened up from Street Fighter II, arching his back like a pleased cat.

“You’re not supposed to use your superhero name on this,” Kon said, looking at the blinking line of text that said Robin at the top of all the scores.

Tim scoffed. “Why don’t you say that a little louder, Superboy? ” Kon’s own name was fourth, blinking a little less vibrantly.

“Whatever. I’m hungry,” Kon announced.

“Oh, so now you’re hungry? After losing for the billionth time, you finally want to get some food- hey! ” Tim let out a choked gasp as Kon grabbed him under his elbow, ruffling his head roughly.

“Perfect timing, huh?”

Tim could hear the laughter in Kon’s voice, so he elbowed Kon in the gut, roughly. “Mhmm, it really is.”

“I’m dying, Tim. Dying. You killed me.” Kon was still bent over, arm over his stomach.

Tim grabbed Kon’s other hand and laced their fingers together, thinking nothing of it, tugging to get Kon walking to the food court. “Yeah yeah, complain about it to Cassie. C’mon, I want nacho fries.”

Instead of responding with a laugh and a jibe about Tim’s taste, Kon just started coughing. And coughing and coughing and coughing before he was on the ground.

Suddenly, they weren’t in the arcade anymore. It was a field, calm and peaceful and quiet and Tim was about to throw up because he knew this field.

Kon was lying ahead, staring listlessly to the side with dead eyes.

“No, no no no no, ” Tim rushed over to him, too late, always too late. But the field kept stretching out longer and longer, and Tim couldn’t reach Kon. He made one desperate leap for him, and hit the ground hard.

There was blood all over his hands, Kon’s blood. Seeping into his skin until his fingers had turned dark crimson, spreading down to his palms, his wrists, his arms. He scrubbed at the colour desperately, trying to get it off. Itching and scratching and God why won’t the blood just go away.

Tim let out a desperate, wordless shriek, and the world tilted, turning on its axis and throwing Tim into the air. He woke up gasping, fresh tear tracks on his face.

                                                     _________

Tim was sitting in a rolling chair in front of his computer, cross-legged. His eyes were drooping, but he forced them open. He’d caught a lead in his search for Bruce, somewhere in north Chile. He’d take a week, poke around, then come back here.

Sighing, he turned his chair, back still bent in an awful crouch. There was a glass case right next to him, a black and red T-shirt displayed proudly. He had a couple, but they were all back in his room at the manor. This specific one was the softest, and his favourite. But he couldn’t bring himself to take it out of the case, bundle it up in his arms, and bring it close to himself like he so desperately wanted to. Taking it out of the case made it real.

“Cloning attempt sixty-two unsuccessful.”

Tim let out a near-uncontrollable cry, swinging his arms out wildly in a rare fit of anger. His fist flew towards the computer, and he managed to direct the hit to the wall next to it. The sting of pain brought him back to his senses, and he stared down at his hand, shocked.

Taking in a deep breath, he shook his hand out and shoved his hands through his hair, ignoring the flashing Trial Failed sign on the screen.

It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair. He always knew that he’d lose Kon eventually. Everyone he knew, everyone he loved always left him, voluntarily or not. He didn’t know why he played a losing game.

You know why, his brain told him. You’re selfish. So, so selfish. You just a part of him for as long as he could give it. But it was never going to be enough.

“No,” Tim said aloud to the empty room. “He’s not gone, he’s not .”

“Unknown command,” the automated voice system responded.

Tim held back another fit of rage, then bit out, “Diagnostic.”

“DNA synthesis failure at forty-eight minutes. DNA structural collapse at fifty-nine minutes.”

“Solutions?”

“Retry experiment. New strand of DNA recommended.”

“Run it.”

“Cloning attempt sixty-three initiated.”

                                                     _________

“Tim, come on! Cut me some slack!” Kon was trying to pout, but one look at Tim’s raised eyebrows caused him to double over laughing. “It’s not fair!”

“It’s totally fair. You just suck at this.” Tim was straightened up from Street Fighter II, arching his back like a pleased cat.

“You’re not supposed to use your superhero name on this,” Kon said, looking at the blinking line of text that said Robin at the top of all the scores.

Tim scoffed. “Why don’t you say that a little louder, Superboy? ” Kon’s own name was fourth, blinking a little less vibrantly.

“Whatever. I’m hungry,” Kon announced.

“Oh, so now you’re hungry? After losing for the billionth time, you finally want to get some food- hey! ” Tim let out a choked gasp as Kon grabbed him under his elbow, ruffling his head roughly.

“Perfect timing, huh?”

Tim could hear the laughter in Kon’s voice, so he elbowed Kon in the gut, roughly. “Mhmm, it really is.”

“I’m dying, Tim. Dying. You killed me.” Kon was still bent over, arm over his stomach.

Tim grabbed Kon’s other hand and laced their fingers together, thinking nothing of it, tugging Kon to get him walking to the food court. “Yeah yeah, complain about it to Cassie. C’mon, I want nacho fries.”

“No,” Kon was straightening up now, shoving Tim away.

“Kon?” Tim asked, a little confused and a little hurt.

“You killed me. You killed me.” There was a venom in his voice that Tim had rarely ever heard, and never directed at him.

“I, I didn’t mean to,” Tim was stumbling back now, wide eyed, as Kon advanced on him.

“Yes you did. You know what happens to people you loved, and you loved me anyway.”

Tim shook his head desperately. “I never said I loved you.”

Kon’s laugh was humorless. “You never had to. I knew. You really thought you could hide this from me?”

Kon was backing him against a wall now, arms on either side, effectively trapping him. Tim could get out, of course he could. But he couldn’t make his feet move, no matter how hard he tried.

“Don’t, please don’t,” Tim begged when Kon leaned closer. “Kon wouldn’t, not if I didn’t want to.”

This Conner, one with a cruel, angry glint in his eyes, tipped Tim’s chin up with his finger. “Well it’s a good thing I’m not your Kon then, isn’t it?” His lips were brushing Tim’s now. “Besides, you always had a penchant for torturing yourself.”

Then Kon was devouring Tim’s mouth, and it was everything Tim had ever wanted, and everything Tim hated. Kon was possessive, passionate, biting his lips with a hunger that took Tim by surprise before licking into his mouth hungrily. His fingers were gripping Tim’s jaw, rough and firm, tilting his head to get a better angle. Tim had melted into it, letting Kon take and take and take.

It was wrong. It was all wrong.

Because Kon would have been gentle. He would have cradled Tim’s face in his fingers like he was something precious. His first kiss would have been tentative but sure, letting Tim know much he meant to him. He would have pulled back and smiled at the wonder in Tim’s eyes before ducking down to give him another soft kiss, chaste and oh-so-loving.

Kon had just drawn back to sink his teeth into Tim’s collarbone when Tim woke up with a sob, out of breath and heaving.

He fell out of bed and ran towards the main room, ignoring the flashing light that noted the progress of the latest cloning attempt. He kept running and running until he reached the glass case, where he brought his fist back and slammed it into the glass as hard as he could.

It didn’t even crack. Of course it didn’t, it was reinforced. Tim threw another couple of punches, before spotting a spare piece of piping lying on the ground. He grabbed it and swung, with every mite of strength left in his body, and crashed it into the case.

The glass splintered. He hit it again and again, until shards rained down around Tim, leaving small cuts in his wake. He grabbed the T-shirt, yanking it out of its stand and bringing it close to him, hugging it the way he’d wanted to for so long.

Tim bent over the ground, letting his tears seep into the fabric.

He wanted everyone back. His parents, Steph, Bart, Bruce, Kon. He wanted them all back.

“I’m close,” he mumbled, voice muffled by the T-shirt. “I swear it, I’m close.” He didn’t know if he was talking about finding Bruce or cloning something close enough to Kon. One of them would happen, and it would be enough. He’d stop losing at this rigged puzzle that was his life, he’d stop trying to play this losing game, and it would be enough.

                                                     _________

“Cloning attempt eighty-nine unsuccessful.”

Tim was wearing the Superboy T-shirt. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d gotten out of it. His fingers played along the hem, twitching. His attention darted around from one screen to the next, taking in a map of Norway one second, and reading over the cloning file in the next.

“Diagnosis?” He prided himself on how steady his voice sounded.

“Proteins from Subject: Lex Luthor failed to fully integrate into Subject: Clark Kent, Kal-el. Possible problem: invulnerability of kryptonian genes.”

“Solution?”

“Kryptonite injections suggested.”

“Do it. Run it.”

Tim’s own voice had become as robotic as the computers. It was hoarse, raspy. He’d forgotten the last time he’d truly spoken, barring instructions to the computer and the cries torn from his throat in the middle of a night. Concerned messages from Dick sat unread on his phone.

“Just, run it again. Run it again, try again.”

“Cloning attempt ninety initiated.”

                                                     _________

“Tim, come on! Cut me some slack!” Kon was trying to pout, but one look at Tim’s raised eyebrows caused him to double over laughing. “It’s not fair!”

“It’s totally fair. You just suck at this.” Tim was straightened up from Street Fighter II, arching his back like a pleased cat.

“You’re not supposed to use your superhero name on this,” Kon said, looking at the blinking line of text that said Robin at the top of all the scores.

Tim scoffed. “Why don’t you say that a little louder, Superboy? ” Kon’s own name was fourth, blinking a little less vibrantly.

“Whatever. I’m hungry,” Kon announced.

“Oh, so now you’re hungry? After losing for the billionth time, you finally want to get some food- hey! ” Tim let out a choked gasp as Kon grabbed him under his elbow, ruffling his head roughly.

“Perfect timing, huh?”

Tim could hear the laughter in Kon’s voice, so he elbowed Kon in the gut, roughly. “Mhmm, it really is.”

“I’m dying, Tim. Dying. You killed me.” Kon was still bent over, arm over his stomach.

Tim grabbed Kon’s other hand and laced their fingers together, thinking nothing of it, tugging to get Kon walking to the food court. “Yeah yeah, complain about it to Cassie. C’mon, I want nacho fries.”

“Wait,” Kon’s fingers tightened around his own.

“What?”

“You don’t need food right now, do you?” Kon tugged him towards a corner, partially hidden by a column and an arcade game.

“I sure would like some,” Tim raised his eyebrows.

In response, Kon let out a chuckle, small but warm, the edges of his eyes crinkling in the way that made people fawn over Superman but made Tim fall even further and further in love with Kon.

“Well yes I know that, but I was just wondering...”

“Wondering what?”

Kon bit his lips before catching Tim’s eyes. “Maybe you’d like to taste something else?”

Tim stared at him for a second, stunned silence between them, before collapsing into laughter. “ Kon, oh my god!”

Tim looked up to see lips turned out in an adorable little pout. “What! I’m being serious, and it was a good line.”

“It most certainly was not a good line.”

“Cut me some slack here, Tim.”

“You mean like at Street Fighter? The way I cut you slack then?”

“Oh shut up. You cheat. I don’t know how you do, but you cheat .”

And suddenly Tim found himself in Kon’s arms, leaning into the taller boy. Kon tightened his grip around Tim, fingers finding Tim’s waist, and cradling him gently.

“It may have been a terrible line,” Tim smiled up at Kon, “but it worked.”

He leaned forward, placing a kiss to Kon’s lips, delicate but not at all fragile. Kon looked awestruck for a minute, before swooping back down and capturing Tim’s lips again. Passive at first, Tim soon pressed back, letting the push-pull rhythm come naturally. They slowed down, came to a stop while resting their foreheads against each other, Kon bent over and Tim on his tip-toes and arched back, but not uncomfortable at all.

“Okay but did my line actually work?” Kon asked against Tim’s lips, biting his own nervously. “Can I do this again? Because I’d really like to do this again.”

Laughter bubbled out of Tim, easy as breathing, and he pulled back to catch the other boy’s eyes. “Yes. We can do this again. But nacho fries first. Food, then kisses.”

Kon nodded. “Food, then kisses.”

Tim blinked awake, still curled up under the thin covers and swallowed by the pillows. This time, he could feel the tears pricking at his eyes, and he let them fall. “Take me back,” he wasn't sure if he said that aloud, but then again, there was no one there to hear it. “I want to go back.”

He squeezed his eyes shut in vain, trying to will himself back to sleep. Then, he remembered the little bottle sitting in the bathroom, sleeping pills Dick had given him once that he refused to use. He threw the covers back and found the thing resting on the sink. He tore it open and shook one, two, three, four pills into his hands. Tipping his head back, he swallowed them dry, then stumbled back into bed.

“The arcade,” he said to himself, burying his limbs under that T-shirt that still somehow smelled like Kon. “We were at the arcade.”

                                                     _________

“Cloning attempt ninety-seven unsuccessful.”

“Diagnostic.”

“Protein failure in link-”

“You know what? No. Forget it. I don’t want to know. Just run it again.”

“Suggested solution-”

“I don’t care! I don’t care, just try. Again.”

“Cloning attempt ninety-eight initiated.”

[reidetic]

Serendipity

Pairing: Spencer Reid/Reader

A/N: This is my first CM fic. I hope you enjoy! ETA: This is post season 12, pre season 13.

Content Warning: Drug use mention, alcohol mention

Summary: Reader has been away for two years, and she accidentally meets Spencer in a bar back home. Drama and angst insues. 

The first thing I notice heading into the bar is the lack of noise. There’s soft rock playing on the radio, and there’s smoke in the air that curls around like a spirit, but it’s empty. A few couples sit in the corner booths, and one lone man sits at the bar, back to the door. Dangerous, I think. To not see when anyone walks in, to have yourself so open and vulnerable. His brown hair curls over the collar of his shirt, his shoulders tense, and I can tell from here that he’s sweaty, his jack strewn haphazardly over the chair to his right. His head tilts back as the shot slides down his throat and I chuckle. He’s experienced.

 I let the door slide closed behind me, and shrug off my jacket. Charlie calls from behind the bar, “You want your usual, (y/n)?”

I shake my head. “Tonight’s a rough one. Surprise me.” I take my seat at the other end of the bar, giving the stranger some space. Besides, danger isn’t my thing and nor is vulnerability. Charlie slides a shot down to me and I toast to the air with a grin. “Here’s to a better night than I deserve.”

I glance down the bar to the man who’s now slumped over, top buttons of his shirt undone and sleeves pushed up like his skin can’t get enough exposure, like the air is the only thing keeping him calm. 

“You look worse than I feel,” I remark to the man, a small smile on my face, shot untouched in my hand. There’s something about him I can’t place.. He picks his head up at that and I stifle a gasp, and I know why he felt familiar. He immediately stands up and stumbles towards the door, trying to move faster than his drunken feet can keep up, and pushes himself out the door. I flash Charlie an apologetic face and chase after him, leaving my jacket behind. 

“Spencer!” I call out, my feet moving towards the car burned in my memory that I know well enough to know it’s his. “You can’t leave like this, please.”

“Why are you here?” He slurs out. “You left. You’re not here. I am.” He slumps against the parking meter, his hands reaching in his pockets for keys I know Charlie took from him. I reach out to him and he flinches away from me, as if my fingertips would unlock his heart more than he’s willing to allow.

“Spencer…” I falter, not knowing how to explain that his name has been inscribed on my soul for years, not knowing how to apologize for ripping away his stability. “I’m sorry.”

He laughs, a short bark and stares at me with piercing eyes as he lurches towards me. “You're sorry? For what? After all, you just saved yourself.” That hurts, that feels like a knife to my chest, and I know my face shows it because he sobers up, just a little. He steps back to lean against the meter again and stuffs his hands back in his pockets, this time as a shield instead of a search.

 “I had to.” I whisper, stepping back and wrapping my arms around myself. I find myself wishing I had my jacket, but not for the cold, wishing for something to protect me. “You weren’t there, you didn’t see.”

“I could’ve protected you!” He screams, and it’s half a sob and half a threat. His shirt is slipping off of his shoulders and he looks broken. His eyes have something behind them now, and I notice his weight shifts away from his right leg. 

“Let me take you home.” I beg, taking another step towards him, testing the waters. “Let me take care of you.” Another tentative step, and he doesn’t move. His eyes meet mine and all he says is a whimper of  “(y/n)...” before his knees hit the ground. I rush forward and hoist him up, as close to him as I’ve been in two years. I swear I can hear his heartbeat and his skin burns hotter than ever before. 

“Spencer, what have you done to yourself?” I keep the tears back and I walk him to my car, opening my passenger side door, unceremoniously shoving him in and closing the door. I step back for a second and shake my head. Two years and the man I once loved is a crumbling mess before me. Two years and my heartbreak isn’t the only one on stage. 

I climb into the car and he’s got his back against the seat, staring straight ahead. I get a good look at him in the light pouring in from the streetlights and I see the tell-tale signs for what they are. Jaunt cheekbones and bruises peeking out from his sleeves and dark veins and eyes that look like they’ve forgotten the bliss of closing. I bite my lip and hold back tears, and I mirror him, refusing to see, refusing to accept. I can hear his soft sobs and I think about saying something, about begging him to look at me and really see me for the first time in two years, but I don’t. I never have. 

When I do speak up, it’s simple. “Do you still live in the same place?” I think it’s neutral. I think it’s a small stepping stone. But Spencer explodes in a way I am not expecting, wracking sobs through his body and when I turn to look, his hands are over his head, defending and protecting himself. Through the cries I hear my name, “(Y/n)!” and I take yet another risk and pull him in, wrapping my arms around his shoulders and shushing him, running my hand over his hair, doing every last thing I can to bring him an ounce of peace. 

What have I done? My body feels like ice and fire, and he lets his hands drop and falls into my chest. His fingers creep across my arms like he’s asking for permission, and all at once he wraps his arms around me, and our bodies close the last bit of space left in the car. Our breath has fogged up the windows and I feel like laughing, remembering the last time we were here. He looks up at me and our eyes meet for the third time that night, and for the first time, he sees me. 

“Spencer.” I say quietly after his tears have slowed to a stop and his breath is the only thing left shaking. “Let me take you home.” I reach a hand out to wipe his face, and he flinches under my touch at first. “Please.” I beg.

He nods, and manages to say, “Do you still have your key?” and that’s when the laughter bubbles out of me and I feel insane. He stares at me slack jawed as I laugh and cry and let my tears fall over his shoulders. 

“I’m sorry, I just- of course I do, Spencer. What was I going to do with it?” We both sit in silence after that, picturing me tossing it off a bridge or mailing it back to him with no return address. Both things that I thought about doing, but never had the courage to follow through with. After all, it was an apartment key, not a wedding ring. 

He doesn’t comment on what I should’ve done. All he says is, “I never changed the locks.” and I crank the car. The rain starts pouring as I pull off the side of the street, and I almost smile. Rain. The start of something new, washing away the past. But we’re in the car, and the rain can’t touch us here. So I reach for the radio, and so does he. He pulls back first, and I flip to the station he always listened to in my car. You’d never know it, but he has a secret love for the top 40. I recognize the song, and a wry smile spreads over my face. 

I've missed your calls for months it seems

Don't realize how mean I can be

'Cause I can sometimes treat the people

That I love like jewelry

Neither of us talk the whole way home, but we both think so much that when the car door opens, I breathe a sigh of relief. He’s sober enough to walk now, so he opens his door and pulls himself out of the car. He leaves the door open for a moment and looks at me as if to say, “Are we doing this?” and I sigh, shut off the car, and get out. I follow him in the building, tracing the walls with my fingertips, up the stairs to the door, to his door, and just as I’m handing him the keys, he stops. 

“(Y/n/n), you don’t have to come in with me, you don’t have to take care of me.” Hearing my nickname, I look down at his outstretched hand, at the bruises dotting his arm, and I look back at him. 

“Yes, Spencer, I do.” And he takes that, for all it is. He takes the keys from my hand and he unlocks the door, and I gasp. It’s almost a mess. His things are thrown around everywhere, books lying open and takeout bags littering the kitchen counter. But my sweater is across the back of my favorite armchair where I left it, and my designated shelf of books has a fine layer of dust. I step in and my old blue peacoat is still on the coat rack. My old running shoes are neatly pressed in the corner, and his converse are scattered next to them.

He follows my eyes and says, “I couldn’t bear to move them. To move you.” I simply nod and seemingly tonight is the night I continue to choke back tears. I stand awkwardly by the door and he sits, perching on the edge of his couch.

“I don’t know what I’m doing here.” I admit, fidgeting with the strap of my bag.

“In our- my apartment?” He asks carefully. He looks hurt.

I wince. “In DC.” My toes curl in my boots and I find myself wishing I had worn more comfortable shoes. Truth be told, I didn’t expect to be wearing them this long. The intent was to pick someone up and forget all about potentially seeing Spencer Reid. After all, of all the bars in DC, he just happened to be at Charlie’s? He looks less hurt at this, but he still looks at his feet. The black converse adorning his feet are split on the sides and they don’t match his slacks and the open silk dress shirt he’s wearing, and it hits me why.

I gesture towards his feet and I say, “Are those…?” I trail off, but he knows what I mean.

“Yours? Yeah, (y/n/n), they’re yours.” He snaps, looking more sad than his voice sounds.

I flinch and it’s all I can do to whisper, “They’re too small for you.” And he almost laughs, but he just gives me a small smile.

“(y/n/n)?” He asks, testing the waters, and I inch closer to him. “Why’d you leave?”

I stop. “What?” My breath is cold, and for a moment, I think he’s joking. But then I see how small he looks, how scared. “You know I had to. I couldn’t…I couldn’t see her everywhere, Spencer.” I furrow my brow and take another step toward him. 

 “I could’ve helped you.” 

“You’re not that kind of doctor, Spence.” I say softly, letting my feet take yet another step. The nickname hits him and he closes his eyes, like he’s relishing in the pain. 

He looks at me and laughs. “The bureau has resources, I have resources, (y/n/n). You didn’t need to go through it all alone.” 

He’s right. I didn’t have to. But after my parents died, Julia couldn’t take it anymore. “Julia needed those, not me.” I bite, not meaning to lash out at him but finding myself unable to stop. Spencer stands, and he takes a step towards me, and without thinking, I follow suit. Somehow, he’s taller than I remember. He reaches out and tucks my hair behind my ear, and it’s nearly enough to bring me down. 

“You didn’t need to go through it all alone.” He echoes.

 I look him in the eyes and consider kissing him, but instead I blurt out, “When did you start taking Dilaudid again?” and he’s crushed. He steps away from me, turning around and pulls his sleeves down, and his body language changes. He shuts down again. 

“You weren’t here, (y/n).” I step towards him again, startled by the sudden change to my full name and he whirls around and screams at me, “You weren’t here!” Shocked, I stumble backwards.  He walks towards his bedroom, what used to be our bedroom, and he flings the door shut. 

“Spence, please! Please don’t shut me out.” I sink to the floor, my knees hitting the wood and for the first time since we got here I realize it is cold in here. It’s cold without him here. I’m cold without him here. I wrap my arms around myself and my eyes dart to my peacoat and then suddenly, his door swings open. 

He throws a cardboard box at me, and seethes, “Open it!” and when I don’t, he crosses to me, pulls me up by my elbow and says, “I said open it.” With shaking hands, I lift the flaps of the box and I am met with the view of at least 20 empty vials and more needles than I can count. I look up at him, begging him to tell me that this isn’t real, that I didn’t drive him to this.

“I made it four months without you before I was begging for the drugs, (y/n).” He spits your name out like it’s poison, but not the kind he fills his veins with, and lets go of your arm. 

“Spencer...I never wanted this, I never wanted to leave you.” Tears are streaming down my face and I drop the box, trying to move towards him. 

“You did! You left…you left me.” And now he’s crying, and we are both shuffling towards each other and he reaches out one hand to cradle my face. “I would’ve gone with you.”

“Spencer, I never could’ve asked you to leave, to leave the BAU, your family.” My breath is shaky and my body acts against my mind and closes the gap, my fingers reaching out to lace themselves behind the small of his back. 

He smiles a small smile, awkward and sad, and says, “You wouldn’t have had to ask. I would’ve given up everything for you. You gave up everything here, too.” I laugh, and his tears fall on my face.

“Spencer Reid, you idiot, you were my everything.” And he smiles again, a real, happy and love-filled smile, and he dips down to kiss me, and for the first time in two years, everything is okay. 

But I still know your birthday

And your mother's favorite song