#I’m actually so proud of this I think it’s my best writing to date

[weaveandwood]

Midwinter in Waterdeep: Part One

Gale/Tav | Angst & Pining | Read Part Two | Read Part Three | Read on AO3

Summary:

After the Netherbrain defeat, she thought her life with Gale was all wrapped up in a neat package with a beautiful bow. Life in the tower with its schedules, routine, and walls ended up not being for her. So she left.

Over a year later, she finds herself on a job in the city again near the Midwinter Festival, searching faces in the crowd.

She found herself searching faces she passed on the street. None of them were him, of course, but did she want them to be? Had his schedule changed in these many months? She purchased a sweet roll at a food cart, her favorite one he had taken her to almost every tenday. Some things don’t change. She thought once that she could, that she could adapt to living in the city for him, for love, thinking adaptability was her strong point. She was mistaken.

AN: A quick one shot inspired by a song. I don't know if this is a sad AU standalone or if it will work its way into my main fic. I've had this idea rattling in my head for about a week. Nothing but angst and some pining. EDIT: This is now the first part in a three part story

She didn't know why she took a job in Waterdeep of all places. It was the one city she wanted to forget about in the entirety of the Sword Coast. Her memories of the place ran the gamut, from the highest, happiest bliss to the lowest, most soul-wrenching sadness. 

“Will you join me in Waterdeep as the newest member of the Dekarios clan?” He asked in the Elfsong Tavern, on one knee, more nervous than he needed to be. 

“This is my tower, welcome to your new home, future Mrs. Dekarios,” he said with a smile, crossing the threshold.  

“Is everything okay? You feel distant ever since Withers’s party, my love.” He had a sad look on his face, knowing the inevitable was coming. 

“Let’s cancel the wedding.” He entered his study, barely acknowledging her.  

She had left not long after that while he was teaching at Blackstaff Academy, a note on the entryway table for when he returned. The silver ring he had purchased for her upon their arrival in the city acting as a paperweight. 

I’m sorry. I can’t do this. 

That was over a year ago. Now, she found herself back in the city after signing a contract for what turned out to be a relatively easy job for some quick gold. Desperate times, desperate measures. Turns out being the “Hero of Baldur’s Gate” didn’t go far outside of Baldur’s Gate. Her contract paid for one more night of lodging, so she went on a stroll from her inn down the main street toward the docks. 

Dangerous. Tempting. Stupid. 

She found herself searching faces she passed on the street. None of them were him, of course, but did she want them to be? Had his schedule changed in these many months? She purchased a sweet roll at a food cart, her favorite one he had taken her to almost every tenday. Some things don’t change. She thought once that she could, that she could learn to love living in the city for him, for love, thinking adaptability was her strong point. She was mistaken.

She pulled her thin wool coat tighter around her as she kept walking toward the waterfront. Waterdeep was cold this close to Midwinter. Snow was starting to flurry, people were hurrying around with packages. She turned the corner onto a street lined with large houses, his tower near the very end. 

Dangerous. Tempting. Stupid. 

She looked in windows as she walked by, illuminated with the golden light of candles as families and friends got together for celebrations. If she had never left, would she be at one of these parties, laughing as Gale’s arm draped over her shoulders? Would he be regaling everyone with tales of their grand adventure, or of something an apprentice had done at Blackstaff Academy? Would he finish the story by kissing her hand or cheek, as he loved to do in public? 

Had he found someone else? Moved on? A new future Mrs. Dekarios in the tower, one who is best friends with Tara and Morena, slotting into their life with ease and grace, much better than she ever had a hope to? Is he better off not knowing her anymore? 

She didn’t let her thoughts wander to him often, if at all. Tears threatened to form in her eyes - from the memories or the wind she could not say for sure, but she’d blame the wind anyway. The sun was starting to go down, and her inn was in the center of the city. She could handle herself when it came to physical threats, but the cold was getting more and more biting without the sun to lessen its sting. Just a couple more, then I’ll turn around, she thought. The houses down here were so pretty with their decorations. She smiled to herself halfheartedly. This could have been her life. 

She could hear the celebrations from the house two doors down. That would be the one she turned around at, she decided, wanting to attend their celebration from the outside, if only for a moment. She looked in the window from across the street. The front room was indeed full of people, each with drink in hand, laughing and cheering for someone. She laughed to herself as she saw the illusion of fireworks inside the room, setting the room alight with sparkling magic fit for a midwinter celebration. She missed magic. She saw the crowd part, presumably for the subject of the cheers. 

Her eyes widened. Her breathing quickened.

His hair was longer, a little more grey at the temples. He still tied it up halfway. He still had his beard. The creases by his eyes were a little deeper. 

He was looking right at her, frozen, his brown eyes just as wide as hers. 

She turned quickly to make a hasty escape. She knew it was tempting the gods to come down this street, but hadn’t that been the point? Hadn’t she become addicted to the if only during her time in the city?

“Stop!” she heard his voice behind her. She got three houses down before she felt a hand grab hers, stopping her in her tracks. “Wait. Please,” he said, panting.  

Dangerous. Tempting. Stupid. 

She turned around.

[mrsbarnesblog]

Mattheo Riddle headcanons

masterlist ko-fi ao3

Summary: what is it like dating Mattheo

Word count: 1.5k

Warnings: fluff, no mention of y/n, you can be in any house, spicy content under the warning

Author’s note: For all my Bucky fanfic readers, I'm sorry that I haven’t posted in almost a month. This December is just too overwhelming, and every time I tried to finish my fic, it felt like I was wasting my time. I literally just miss the ending, and I hope to finish it as soon as possible.

For my possible new followers and/or HP stans, Mattheo is my current obsession, and I’m literally head over heels for him. And you know what they say: if you can’t find a fanfic that you like, write it yourself. So yeah, I'm trying something new, and I have a few ideas that are poisoning my head every single minute lmao.

sorry if there are any mistakes. hope you’ll like it💘🎀

Mattheo was never that much of a playboy because he didn’t like to share his space and, well, communicate with people in general

Due to his family, he was really reserved and refused to be weak

You weren’t that popular in school, so he had never really noticed you but one day, you suddenly started hanging out with Pansy and he could not get you out of his head anymore

He hated it

He hated that you occupied all of his thoughts for at least a few weeks 

Tried to ignore his feelings for you as long as possible, but from the moment you two had to work together on the project, everything went downhill 

He was scared to ask you out, not ready to be rejected by the only person he genuinely liked and thinking that maybe you secretly hated him like everyone else

At the beginning of the relationship, Mattheo told you that sometimes he might get cold and distant, but it wasn’t your fault and that you should just give him some time 

Mattheo is romantic and for his favorite girl, he always arranged the best dates

He was nervous to kiss you after the first date when he walked you to your dorm

Little did he know, but that sexy smirk and the way he looked at you all night drove you insane

So you just pulled him by the tie, connecting your lips

Since then, Mattheo has been addicted to you

Hands are always on you, holding your hand, your waist or your thighs

Looks at you as if you hung the moon and the stars

He kisses you in front of everyone to make sure that they know that you are his, and he is yours

Likes to pull into into his lap while he’s talking with his friends in the common room

Holding you close, slowly strokes your arms or your back, unable to keep his hands away from you

Whispers sweet nothings

Loves your smell and always buries his nose into your hair

He wears rings and allows you to steal them

His hoodies and t-shirts too

Secretly likes to be little spoon or lay on your chest while your hands are playing with his curls

Buys you everything you might possibly like, even though you always tell him to stop spending his money on you

Likes to study with you because you can actually get ready for the lessons while he has another opportunity to stare at you 

So overprotective and always snaps back at people who, even in the slightest way, disrespect you

He never lets you go to the parties alone in case some creepy guys decide to hit on you

Possesive

When you’re wearing revealing clothes, one part of him is proud and wants to brag that his girlfriend is the sexiest woman on the planet, but the other part wants to cover you with big blanket and keep you to himself

Always sarcastic and sassy

Fights a lot 

He had never gone to the medical wing because he wasn’t used to asking for help, but since you started dating, he let you heal his wound 

Loves when you scold him for those fights, just because you look so cute when you’re angry and he has an excuse to kiss and spoil you 

He has anger issues, but he has never raised his voice at you

Actually, you are like a sedative to him because only you can calm him down in a matter of seconds 

Will never make you feel uncomfortable or insecure

You don’t like something or someone? Mattheo will make sure to get you out of the room and won’t let that person come near you ever again

The way you call him “Matty” turns him into a literal puddle

Can’t sleep without you in his arms

spicy

During your first time, he was super attentive and always checked whether you were okay or not

Praises. A lot of fucking praises

“You’re taking me so good, my love”, “you look so pretty when you cum around me.” 

He likes every position, but prefers when he can see your face

There is literally not a single place in his dorm where you two haven’t had sex

Gets turned on literally by everything you do

He’s risky. As soon as he finds out that you actually liked it, he always teases you under the table, pulls you into the storage rooms, and talks dirty while there are a lot of people around

Got you two in detention a few times for getting caught kissing at night by Snape (you were lucky that he caught you before Mattheo���s hands slipped under your skirt)

His personal favorite is sex in the astronomy tower. The way you’re trying to hold back your moans drives him crazy

Also bathtub in the prefects’ bathroom, where you love to sit with him deep inside of you  

He usually dominates, but sometimes likes to let you be in charge and see how you ride him

He has a big appetite, and what is the best way to deal with it? Right, you.

Mattheo would’ve spent hours in between your legs if you allowed him

He never asks for anything in return, but still seeing you on your knees for him is a fucking miracle

Your hair are around his hand, while you’re taking as much of him in your mouth as you can

Eye contact

He’s willing to try in bed anything that you want, except things that might get you hurt

He likes to keep his hand on your neck while he’s thrusting into you but never actually squeezes

Can be rough and fast or really gentle and slow, depending on the mood

After someone pisses him off or if you had a small fight, he always fucks you into the bed with your hands pinned above you until you’re literally crying from pleasure

By the way, when you don’t have time to put a spell on the room, it gives him satisfaction to know that everyone hears the way you moan for him

He always makes sure that you came, and if you didn’t, he’s more than happy to go down on you

Love confessions 

Aftercare is a must

Hugs, kisses, food, baths—anything you might want

He always keeps you close until you fall asleep and then just stares at you, wondering how he could be so happy to have you  

[anadiasmount]

just friends? or more? - jude bellingham x reader.

quick sum: interviews and late night talks. but it’s always hard to see your best friend leave for his away games. no matter the distance or duration.

wc: 3k | masterlist | jude's masterlist

psa🗣️: happy new year everyone, hope everyone is doing okay! 🤍 mixed a request with my own imagination. this was supposed to be a small blurb but I ended up writing more. best friends to lover trope 🫂 🧟‍♀️ hope you enjoy! 🤍

“it must be an excitement to see him play at this level and talent?” the journalist asked you, to which you nodded and smiled. “it’s quite a pleasure honestly. it’s what he’s always wanted and we couldn’t be more proud,” you replied calmly not knowing where exactly to look at. 

your eyes glanced from her, to the camera and then jude who was walking back from the tunnels. “recalling all his goals from this current season, which one has been your favorite? could there be a sort of muse to inspire and motivate him to this level?” she asked curiously, leaving you thinking. 

“my favorite probably, okay wait actually i don’t know if i wanna say because i don’t want to get dragged, but it was special to see him win his debut here in the bernabeu, even if it was a tap in,” you laugh, “his goal against napoli and barcelona are one for the books as well.” you kept glancing behind her to see jude standing there cockily, arms crossed with a smirk plastered on his face. 

“as for a muse, i’d say himself and the people around him whether it’s friends or family even the fans. with the constant support and wins, seeing how the team reflects, how he can do more. overall i think it’s just him and the healthy mentality he has,” you say shyly, nodding your head as you spoke, jude then decided to intervene. 

“erm excuse me? this is my interview,” you say in a teasing manner, stepping on your tiptoes to reach his hug. “i apologize. just wanted to come over and say hi,” jude says playfully making everyone smile. “we were just asking y/n about if there could be a certain muse to make you perform at this level. is there anything you would like to say about that?” the journalist asks. 

jude scratches his brow and looks down smiling, “well to be honest there is someone…but for privacy reasons or maybe to not jinx it, i’ll keep it hidden… they’re truly wonderful and inspire me to do my best every time,” he says with a huge grin looking down to you where you stand. your eyes connected and for a second maybe he was dedicating this to you? you thought. 

as the journalist wrapped up her interview the two of you teased and joked around, answering her questions politely and respectfully, making sure to wish her the best of luck and a small be careful. the thoughts of him having a ‘muse’ still didn’t go away from your head.  if he was referring to you or if there was someone he had yet to tell you about. 

jude was always private with his life, but around you he couldn’t stop yapping, always with a smile in his face when he spoke about him. but this had you questioning just a bit, if there was more to your close friendship. to his longer and more intense stares towards you, his touch on your waist when out together, always asking to stay longer and cuddle. 

it wasn’t just you who had noticed it, his teammates as well, often teasing both of you especially jude as you would hear it when he called you after training. don't even get started on the media, replays, and many comments on the two of you when together, always asking if you were dating, or saying they lived for your friendship.

there was something different and you couldn’t avoid it any longer, being left confused with your feelings. it began to feel like love. you can’t love your best friend, you couldn’t take a risk like that.  

“you’re awfully quiet? something in your mind? i know something’s up so don’t say it’s anything,” jude remarked, squinting his eyes. you let a soft chuckle out and turned to face him, “i’m just tired… also i was reading some of the comments from our interview,” you lied offering a quick smile and showing him your open instagram page. he raised his brow and got out the car. 

you trailed behind him to where you were greeted to a quiet home. jude quickly slipped on some slides and dropped his bag in the mud room. you took of your shoes and walked into the kitchen to prepare some dinner for the two of you. as you glanced around you felt jude hug you from behind, his face leveled next to yours making you jump. “fridge is full?” he asked.

“oh yeah. i went grocery shopping and brought the necessities! refilled the fridge, got toothpaste, and i also got you those scooby doo cookies you love so much,” your hand interlocked with his that was around your waist as you pointed to the cabinet above you. just then you realized how close the two of you were. 

it felt like you had moved in, and shared a house together. you never ever had shared a bed, but for the past month you had, waking up with jude on top of you or your back next to his chest. having breakfast daily together and him waiting for you to come back from uni or work. hanging out more than usual, cuddling more than usual. the his and hers titles applying to the two of you, when brushing your teeth, your mugs, sharing clothes, having your shoes aligned by the door. 

jude felt you tense asking what was wrong but you shook your head, “after dinner, i might go home,” you tell him watching the smile disappear from his face. “what? why? do you want me to go with you? you should just stay it's already late, i want to you to stay” jude insisted, making up different reasons as to why you should stay the night. 

it’s not that you didn't want to be with jude tonight, you did, to feel him hold you and kiss your head at night. but the thought of acting like a couple, with no label, with your best friend made you freakout, because what if how you felt wasn't how he did? what if you read the cards wrong and it was only you who fell over heels for your best friend? what if he didn't love you like you did? 

“i’ll think about it, i said i might go, still debating, i haven't seen the roomies in a while and we want to have a girls night,” you said trying to calm the panic that overtook his body. “i don’t mind joining, you guys just do spa night, drink wine, and talk, i’ll be like one of the girls…” jude shrugged jokingly, making your eyes roll playfully. 

“okay decide what you want to eat so we can start cooking,” you recalled, grabbing a pan and heating up some oil. jude played his old songs playlist, singing along to the songs you remembered, your arms wrapping around his shoulders as he led you to dance in the middle of the kitchen, his soft brown eyes never leaving yours as he sang happily. would this be what it felt like to be a couple? 

the tv show played softly on the background, jude fast asleep on your chest letting out small snores. he refused to let you leave as the time you had finished eating and talking was super late, leaving with no choice but to stay once again. it felt like home, jude felt like your home, they way you fit perfectly in each other's arms. you turn the tv off, squinting your eyes in confusion as you saw his phone ping. 

jocelyn:

thanks for the other day! hope we can see each other again, had so much fun! 

your heart sank looking back at jude who was still sound asleep on your chest, feeling your eyes burn with tears and your stomach sink further down. you controlled your breathing, feeling stupid and naive for actually believing and falling for him. it wasn't his fault, it was you for letting yourself believe there could be something. you would never be his, there was already someone else in his life to fill your spot. 

you were able to manage to sneak off the next morning without a word or budge from jude, feeling trapped and claustrophobic around him when he hugged you from behind. you couldn't stop thinking about his words from yesterday's interview and his ‘muse’, the way his touch still burned on your skin, the way he hid a girl from you. it felt like you were the other woman even though you had no clue who she was. 

you fiddled with your keys, opening the door to a silent home once again, darting straight to your room where you fell onto your beg with small whimpers and sobs, crying over a boy. you weren't able to sleep last night, so you didn't even feel when you fell asleep, forgetting about reality for the day. 

jude was left confused and curious as to why you weren't there, next to him. he called and called, texting you over and over again, becoming worried when there was no response from you. he was unable to focus during recovery and training session, thinking of how you suddenly left, and how distant and tense you were yesterday. he wondered if you had school, or if you something came up with your roommates. 

jude wanted to hang out before he had to travel away for the weekend. spend as much time with you. his head should be focused on winning and on the team to advance in the ‘copa del rey’ but he couldn't when he hadn't heard from you. 

jude was deep in. as every day went by his love for you grew more and more, knowing it could be risk for your friendship. he had the urge to just yell out how much he loved you, how badly he wanted to call you his, to finally stop playing around and put a label. it was hard to read you and that killed him more. feeling hopeless and desperate, he called again quickly listening to your voicemail. 

you had jude’s head spinning, heart skipping beats at the thought of you, and he was left with no choice but to show up the day before he left at your doorstep. your eyes frantically roamed jude who stood with a serious look on his face, almost shutting the door at him out of nervousness. jude let himself in, turning to you quickly brows drawn in. “is there a reason why you are not answering your phone?” he asked seriously, no taint of playing around. 

“i needed to catch up on some uni work. i have so much to do still, and i wanted to focus on getting the hard part out first,” you say unsure, as his brows draw in with bewilderment. 

“but yet couldn't answer one phone call from me?”

“jude-”

“i’ve been left worried, thinking if you were okay after you randomly left without saying anything? i don't like you shutting me out y/n, i understand you were busy but a text even would’ve taken me out of my misery,” jude huffed letting out a sign of disappointment, walking to the couch and staring at your study layout. books and books, open pages of your notes, and your laptop that sounded louder than usual. 

“i just wanted to give you space and time for yourself. i don't wanna seem clingy or attached because all we've done for the past month is be together at house. i just thought you might’ve wanted to do something else with your teammates or other people,” you say embarrassed, daring to spill the girls name from the other night. 

“well you thought wrong, the only person i want to be with is you. i wanted to see you before i left tomorrow,” jude said with a small frown, hands digging into his hands. ‘the only person i want to be with is you’ should have not stung like it did, the ache in your chest as you heard him say that, bitting your lip to hold back the tears that wanted to build up. though you were stronger than that. 

“what about jocelyn?” you asked carefully being met with a quiet jude, giving you a questioning look. “what about her?” maybe it was the way he had said it or the fact he was upset but you now regretted bringing her up knowing it had triggered something. “didn’t she mention-” you were cut off by jude.

“jocelyn is my stylist when i’m here in madrid. she invited me to have brunch with her and her girlfriend when you were taking a midterm this week. I didnt mention it because it was a fast meal, just food and talking,” jude said. you felt utterly stupid and left more embarrassed than before, wanting to punch yourself for quickly making up assumptions instead of asking for clarification. 

“oh.”

“wait.. how do you know about jocelyn? did you think something else?” jude asked, lifting his head from his hands. you rubbed your shoulder anxiously not knowing how exactly to respond, “you mentioned her the other day, i just assumed,” you lied quickly, “also i saw her message the other night i stayed over.” jude had caught you, and now he wasn't going to let the opportunity to go to waste. “

“so that's what this is about?” 

“i don't know what you're talking about…” you shrugged quickly, dismissing his tone. 

jude ushered you to come over, and like a puppet you quickly followed his request. you stood in the middle on his legs that were spread, shifting your weight from one foot to another, contemplating what to say or where to look. “you thought jocelyn meant something else to me didn't you…” jude asked to which you nodded slowly. 

“would have it bothered you if it did? if she did mean something to me?” he asked softly, watching as your eyes looked around and landed on his, you let out a small “yes” in a quiet tone, jude smirking. 

“well, it’s a good thing you don't have to worry about that. jocelyn doesn't mean anything, and the only person who does to me is you,” jude spoke softly, you shuddered a breath as you felt his fingertips trace from your calves all the way up behind your thighs, making you lose balance and grip his shoulder to regain it. “jude-” you warn again, but quickly gulp as he repeated his actions. 

“the way you smile, the way you hold my hand, the way your eyes glimmer when you let me rant about anything. i love it all. the only person who makes me feel like that is you… all i want is you, y/n. to have and to hold, to love and cherish, to protect and kept by my side forever,” jude gripped your thighs and pulled you onto his lap where you gasped. 

“can’t you see that? hmm? can't you see how much i love you? how badly i want to make you mine and call you my girlfriend officially? they say it's forbidden to fall for your best friend, but who cares about those rules when what we have is real. a genuine love.” 

your lips pursed open, letting out a shaky breath before speaking again. he had that effect, leaving you breathless even if it was a small action. “this whole time i thought i had it wrong, and that it was just me who saw the sudden shift in our friendship. who felt the feelings. i know it was wrong from me to have assumed that when i have no right, but i thought there was someone else,” you reply. 

jude’s hands roamed your thighs, making you relax to his touch, “it drove me crazy two nights ago as i rethought our whole friendship. it felt not weird but it felt like we were living a life with no label placed, acting like a couple because we just felt the need to or we had just gotten that close. not only did it confuse me but also scared me, and it made me distant,” you continued. 

“what you feel here,” you pointed and touched his heart, “is what i feel here,” you then pointed to your heart, which was beating like crazy not only at revealed feelings but also the proximity you two were. “i want you to know that i can't stop thinking about you no matter where i am or if i’m this close to you,” you reassured him and yourself. that this was reality.  

“you have no idea how long i’ve waited to hear you say that… to say that you love me. everyone could see it, everyone teased us for it, but we were scared. but i’m not scared to take this risk, because it means i get to have you here and forever. to love you,” jude said making your eyes go glossy. 

“is this actually happening?” you laughed and sniffled, “because if it's not and i’m dreaming i’m going to be mad,” you say. “it's all real, i could pinch you if you want, to make you believe it? or i could kiss you to seal our relationship?” jude offered with a huge grin, making you raise your eyebrow. “you haven't even asked me to be your girlfriend yet,” you remark. 

“my beautiful y/n… do you want to be my girlfriend?” instead of replying, you sealed your answer with a kiss. a kiss that sealed also promises and your love forever. jude’s lips molded into yours, tugging him closer by his broad shoulders as his hands delicately rubbed along your thighs. he tasted like honey, not having enough by how gentle and passionate he was being with you. “my jude. my jude forever,” you say still kissing his lips as he smiled into it.

“i love you princess.”

[pedrithink]

delicate ✩ jude bellingham

about: the massive hate you are getting on internet and the way jude stood by you, supporting you.

couple: jude bellingham x reader! singer

request: hey babyyyy! what do u think about a jude x reader (maybe olivia rodrigo fc) ?? xxx love u

face claim: olivia rodrigo

NOW: Jude’s Bellingham talks ‘Real Madrid’, His first World Cup’s impressions & His favorite Y/N’s songs.

comments ⬇️

user1 he’s so perfect 🥹 yn and him seemed like soulmates

user2 I REMEMBERED WHEN YN POINTED AT JUDE DURING GORGEOUS AND HE TOOK A PHOTO AND SHE WAS ALL GIGGLY

user3 yn once said “you’re so gorgeous, it actually hurts” and “they say home is where the heart is, but that's not where mine lives. you know I love a london boy.”

user4 @user3 im yn

user5 imagine being jude bellingham and having yn write her best love songs and best title tracks about you a DREAM

judebellingham has added to their story

ynusername

Liked by judebellingham, selenagomez, and 5.682.972 others

ynusername vampire song and video out now 🧛🏼. writing this song helped me sort through lots of feelings of regret, anger, and heartache. it's one of my favorite songs on the album and it felt very cathartic to finish. im so happy it's in your hands now and I hope it helps u deal with any bloodsuckers in your lite. all my thanks 4ever 🫶🏻

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judebellingham proud of you, vampie 🧛🏼🩸🥹🫶🏻

ynusername @judebellingham love u babs

user1 vampire is one of the best songs ever

user2 another song about another ex 🥱🙄

user3 @user2 literally let people write out their feelings or WHATEVER they want. obviously yall can only attack women for this tho...

user4 people calling yn boring or overrated for writing songs about her ex does not sit right w me …. like let her write about whatever she wants?? she’s 20??? all singers have songs about their ex’s???? stfu

user5 @user4 SPEAK. ON. IT

user6 "yn makes too much songs ab her ex" "all she write is break up songs, she’s so obsessed"

ok then stop listening to her songs 🤷🏻‍♀️

user7 whaaaaat 😭 why are there so many people mad that yn wrote some songs about her ex. meanwhile, there are men who only write songs about fucking hoes and using drugs and yet they still get praised for it 🥱

judebellingham

Liked by ynusername, masonmount, and 7.899.082 others

judebellingham date night with vampie to celebrate all of her achievements, proud of u ❤️‍🩹

View all 34.872 comments

ynusername 🧛🏻‍♀️🩸❤️‍🩹🧛🏼

user8 JUDE CALLING YN VAMPIE >>>>

user9 i hope i find someone who supports me the way jude supports yn

user10 ill always be soft for these two. its amazing how jude supports yn in any way he can and yn never forgets to save jude a seat. fucking POWER COUPLE!!!

user11 @user10 i just love them

user12 lets talk about the fact that at the 2020 grammys she didn’t feel like there was someone to celebrate with and now she has one and he helps her and supports her and take her on dates when she achieves more and more in her singing career 🥹

user13 yn and jude be like: happiest relationship of my life, so let’s go cheer for my breakup songs together 💕💞💓💗💖💘

ynusername

Liked by judebellingham, arianagrande, and 10.927.526 others

ynusername delicate is out now 🫧 surprise song for y’all, hope u like it 🫶🏻

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user14 delicate video really speaks to me. yn let go of the world's expectations of how she should act, smile and behave. once she did that, she was able to find who she was looking for. i’m shaking and crying, so so proud of our baby!!!!

user15 @user14 it’s already my favorite music video of her!!!! i love the lyrics 2

user16 these pics were taking by jude i’m CRYING and the lyrics… I JUST LOVE HIM EVEN MORE

user17 @user16 yeah 🥹 i’m so happy that she found someone that makes her feel like that

user18 delicate is one of the most beautiful songs yn has ever written, it’s so GENUINE.

[going-to-ikea-for-the-fries]

Mi Querida Esposa || Alejandro Vargas

For @glitterypirateduck's “Amor a Alejandro” writing challenge! I used prompt 16. "Nothing is ever simple".

Rating: G Words: 2.6K Tags: f!reader, you/your pronouns but no Y/N, Spanish terms of endearment, best friends to lovers, forced marriage (but not like THAT), friendly bickering, drinking, kissing, no smut. Summary: Alejandro's parents have been pestering him to settle down and get married. He lies that he and reader (his best-friend) are dating. The lie snowballs. a/n: I imagined that both Alejandro and reader are Mexican! Only curse words and terms of endearment are in Spanish.

a/n #2: I wrote a follow-up for this one shot: Check here

“Please, it’s just dinner!” Alejandro said as he stood in your kitchen at 6 P.M.

You had just gotten home from work, and barely had time to kick off your shoes and start on dinner when the front door to your apartment opened and your best friend came strolling in.

Not even a minute later, he was groveling (on his feet, because he’s too proud to do it on his knees) for your help.

“Are you drunk, Ale?” You ask him as you continue stirring the pasta in the boiling water so it doesn’t stick.

“No, I’m not.” He replies loudly as he gets as close to you as possible, leaning his hip on the counter next to him. “Please.” He pleads again. “It’s really simple, I promise you!” He continues.

“Simple? Ale, nothing is ever simple with you!” You retort as you use your hand to pinch the bridge of your nose. “You’ve just asked me to marry you!” You ask him as you look up at him.

Sometimes you resent yourself for being such a good actress. It’s part of the reason why you find yourself pretending not to like Alejandro as much as you do. You swear you want to be a bit more caring and affectionate toward him… but you always end up bickering with him and giving him attitude.

“Please!” He turns you away from the pasta pot and puts both hands on your shoulders, staring at you like a deranged, desperate man. 

“Vato [dude], nobody is going to believe that we’re dating, let alone wanting to get married.” You tell him as you give him a deadpan, unconvinced look.

There was a time in the past when you would’ve bent yourself over backward for an opportunity to date (or say that you’re dating) Alejandro. But that was ages ago, a crush you have long since outgrown… Or so you think.

“Ay carajo [For fuck’s sake], they don’t have to 100% believe it! Just have to instill reasonable doubt!” He attempts to reason. “Please, flaca [skinny girl*]!” He tells you.

You shake away his hands from your shoulders and set your hands on your hips over your apron. “Why don’t you just go out and find yourself an actual girlfriend, for once?” You retort.

“This, again?” He grumbles. “I. already. told. you!” He says while slapping his right hand against his palm to punctuate his sentence. “I don’t have the time or the patience to go out and meet someone!” He groans in frustration. “I’m busy with work!”

“Ale, you’re a grown man and an Army Colonel at that.” You remind him. “You’re telling me you’re scared of telling your parents you’re focused on your career?” You add in a teasing, mocking tone.

“Oye! I’m not scared!” He denies it as he points a finger in your face. “I just wanted them to stop annoying me!” He adds as he looks away and grumbles under his breath.

“And you think lying about being in a relationship with me would make it better?” You scold him and nod your head in an act of defiance. “Your parents know me, Ale, they’ll realize that we’re not dating the moment they see us!”

“They kept pestering me to get married, loca [crazy girl], I had to lie.” He grumbles in reply as he throws his hands up and turns away. “And it did make it better!” He retorts and waves his hands in the air. “They were off my case for the last 6 months!” He adds.

“SIX MONTHS?!” You ask as your jaw drops. “You told them this SIX MONTHS AGO and didn’t think to tell me before?” You scold him. He turns to look at you like a naughty kid being lectured by his mother, his face set into a grimace. 

“What if I crossed paths with your mamá [mom] at the market, huh?!” You ask in shock as you point at yourself with both hands. “What would’ve happened then? What if someone had seen me on a date with another man?!” You add in surprise.

“But you didn’t! And I know you would’ve had my back if she started asking questions!” He adds, which causes you to glare at him angrily.

Alejandro hangs his head before taking a long, deep breath. “I’m sorry, okay?!” He ends up saying earnestly. “I just wanted them to stop acting like I’m a disgrace for being 38, single, and, allegedly, ‘miserable’!” He justified himself.

“But you are miserable and single!” You retort. As punishment, he wraps an arm around you and gives you a noogie. “Ay, puta madre [for fuck’s sake], Alejandro!” You demand as you slip away from the headlock, smacking at his arm in the process.

Alejandro takes a step toward you again and sets his hands on your shoulders once more, his eyes locked onto yours. “Please, cuata [twin/bestie].” He pleads. “Just this once.” He requests.

“Just ‘this once’? Are you serious?” You ask as you dip your head to the side, looking up at him like he’s lost his mind. “You just told me your parents invited your entire family over for dinner to celebrate our ‘engagement’ and start planning our wedding, Ale!” You remind him. “How is it going to be ‘just this once’?” You add.

“We can pretend to break up after this!” He retorts, making you sigh loudly and rub your eyes with your fingers. “Or… we can get married… for the tax benefits!” He adds, which causes you to look at him sharply, eyes widened and your hand raised to smack him.

“Okay, okay! I’m joking!” He adds while raising his hands defensively. In a lot of ways, you and Alejandro behave like siblings, always at each other’s throats… Only to turn around and have each other’s backs… like now. “Please.” He pleads again.

You take a long, deep, desperate breath and exhale sharply before turning around to strain out the water of your cooked pasta. “Fine…” You grumble under your breath. “But you owe me, big time!” You add.

“YES!” He shouts excitedly and shakes his fists in the air. “Thank you, thank you…” Alejandro says thankfully and wraps his arms around you in a bear hug which, definitely, makes you hear some bones of yours cracking.

“But!” You add, interrupting his celebration, which causes him to let go of you. “It’s only this dinner thing! And after that… in a couple of months, you’ve gotta tell them we ‘broke up’!” You demand.

“No, absolutely. I’ve already got a plan for that and everything!” Alejandro nods earnestly. “Just trust me.” He adds.

-

“I still can’t believe this.” You grumble as throw yourself onto the leather couch, which creaks as you sit. You feel exhausted. Your feet hurt, your cheeks are sore from smiling so much, you’re sweaty, your make-up is a bit messy, and you drank a bit more tequila than you should.

Alejandro sits on the leather couch beside you, rubbing his forehead and eyes with one hand while the other clutches a lowball glass of tequila. “You’ve said that 12 times now.” He grumbles.

You turn to look at him, your brow set low and your lips twisted into a pursed scowl. “And I’ll keep saying it!” You exclaim. “Because I can’t. believe. this.” You add.

Alejandro looks up at you before shooting the tequila shot in his chilled glass. “You’re the one that let our mamás talk you into this.” He retorts.

“Shut up.” You grumble defensively as you shuffle over, the gown rustling as you slide closer to him. He fills the glass with another double shot of Don Julio, and this time hands it over to you, which you take, gladly.

For the last 3 months since that dinner party at Alejandro’s parents’ house, you’ve dreaded this moment… The wedding itself, sure, but the moments after, the days after… When you’ve been freshly married and have to move in together and have all those changes to your routine…

But, right now, the dread is mostly gone. You could probably blame it on the tequila and the culmination of the stress, but right now, it almost feels… relieving to be here, in this hotel room, with your best friend/husband.

“That suit makes it look like you’re going to meet the President.” You grumble after taking a sip of your drink, your eyes set on his formal dress uniform. It’s your first time seeing him in his dress blues… He looks nice.

The suit itself is a dark teal blue-adjacent color, and he has a ridiculous amount of medals over his left breast, which you almost mocked him for, before biting your tongue, knowing they’re important to him. 

The green beret with the Fuerzas Especiales insignia, which he wore for the better part of the day, sits on his lap. His suit jacket is unbuttoned and so are the top buttons of his white button-up, revealing his white undershirt and the gold crucifix necklace he always wears.

“And you look like you’re celebrating your quinceñera. Why would you pick such a poofy dress?” He retorts with a raised brow while leaning back on the couch and crossing his ankle over his knee. His eyes are glued to the ball gown wedding dress you’re wearing.

“I was already being forced to marry you, I was going to enjoy what little I could. I wanted to feel like a princess.” You reply and shoot him an annoyed look. Alejandro’s arm slowly slips onto the back of the couch, resting it there, behind you.

“Excuses.” He says dismissively and smirks playfully at you. “You wanted a dress that big so you’d have a built-in way of distancing yourself from me, so I didn’t have to kiss you or dance with you.” He quips and nudges you with his elbow.

You nudge him back, the two of you bickering like little kids. “Shut up!” You complain, which makes him laugh, and so do you laugh with him. “God, we had to kiss in front of everyone…” You grumble as you knock back the rest of the tequila shot.

“You say that as if I’m some sort of disgusting monster.” He retorts, causing your tongue to click in an annoyed, dismissive way. “C’mon… You didn’t hate it all that much.” He replies.

“Pelo amor de Dios [for the love of God], shut your mouth!” You demand defensively, your whole face warming up as you remember the cheers that came upon your kiss during the ceremony… and all throughout the reception to really ‘sell’ that you two are in love. “It was weird…”

Alejandro chuckles. “Not as weird as moving in together after tonight, eh?” He quips, which causes you to groan audibly. “Hey, think about it this way… Killed two birds with one stone…” He says as he scoots closer and looks you in the eyes.

“My parents stopped pestering me about getting married, your parents stopped pestering you too…” He reminds you. “Plus, now you don't have to pay rent, and we get tax benefits and better healthcare through the Army.” He adds.

“You and your stupid benefits.” You retort. “You know, we’re only in this mess because of you.” You complain and nudge him with your elbow as you look up at him.

“I know…” Alejandro grumbles and winces away from your sharp elbow to his ribs. “You’ve made a point to remind me of this every waking moment of every day since we tried to ‘break up’ and you let my mamá talk you into ‘staying with me’.” He adds and laughs a little.

Your face contorts into a grimace and you groan loudly yet again. “Your mamá has always been very demanding and scary, okay?” You retort.

“So you understand why I lied in the first place, huh?” He adds, causing you to nudge him and smack him upside the head.

“Shut up, Ale…” You retort while he chuckles a bit, rubbing the back of his head with his hand. “The woman basically begged me to stay with you because, in her eyes, if your best friend of 10 years can’t keep you tied down, then you really are a disgrace to the Vargas family.” You tell him. “What was I supposed to do?”

Instead of groaning, he simply smiles broadly and shakes his head. “Well, mi querida esposa [my dear wife], it’s over and done with. We’re married… and she’s thrilled.” He remarks and chuckles.

For some reason, you find yourself getting a bit flustered, your face flushing a bit warmer. Something about the way he called you his wife caused your heart to race… You never gave much thought to the idea of marriage… But now that you think about it… Being called someone’s wife is strangely nice. And… being Ale’s wife? It’s even nicer. 

“Don’t remind me…” You remark in an attempt to sound disdainful, but it only ends up sounding soft and gentle. “Next thing we know, she’ll be pestering us into having grandchildren… My mamá too.” You say before groaning once more.

Alejandro’s face winces a little at the idea, but then, he breaks into a grin again, seeming playful and interested. “Groan all you want… But I’m sure you’d like the process of making them.” He quips and wags his eyebrows mischievously, earning another smack upside the head from you.

“I hate you…” You tell him playfully and shake his head, annoyed and amused at him… as usual.

“No, you don’t.” Your husband says and slowly leans closer. “You love me.” He adds playfully.

“No, I’m pretty sure I hate you.” You retort as you hold your ground, remaining in the same position.

“Hm… no. You love me.” Alejandro insists and leans closer.

Your eyes sparkle a bit. “No, I don’t.” You reply while your eyes narrow at him in a mock annoyed way.

Alejandro licks his lips and slowly rubs his nose against yours. “Yes, you do. You love me… Just like you loved kissing me after the ceremony.” He quips with that shit-eating grin of his.

Something in the air makes you feel even more flustered and you look away once more. Licking your lips too, you gulp down a breath in your throat. “Maybe...” You end up admitting.

Alejandro’s smirk grows bigger. “It’s okay.” He assures you with a nod. “I didn’t mind kissing you either.” He admits, which makes your eyes widen a bit in surprise and you look back up at him.

Alejandro’s lips then brush against yours… And he presses them together into a soft, gentle kiss that, this time, doesn’t feel like a performance. It’s not a rushed little peck done only for his family, and yours, and the guests at your wedding. It’s slow and sweet, just for the two of you in this hotel room…

After a moment, Alejandro pulls away and locks eyes with you, his brown eyes softened and almost too calm… You know he’s not drunk and neither are you… And tomorrow morning, any attempts to blame this kiss on tequila are simply not going to be truthful.

You wanted to kiss each other and you did. And, in fact, you want to kiss him more.

You press your lips against his again, your hand raising to wrap around the back of his head, your fingers slipping into his black hair, tugging the strands away from their slicked-back style. His hands grab onto your waist around the bustle of your wedding dress as you both surrender to the kiss.

The moment your lips pull apart again, he leans against your ear and you hear it. “We’re going to be alright...” He murmurs reassuringly. 

You take another deep breath, allowing yourself to inhale the scent of his cologne and sweat in his body, the alcohol in his breath, and the laundry detergent in his dress blues… It’s a comforting scent. He comforts you. So you nod in agreement and Alejandro gently kisses you one more time. 

Of all people to be stuck in a sham of a marriage for both of your families’ sake… it being the man you’ve maybe harbored a crush on for a decade is not the worst of options…

End note: Although “flaca” means “skinny girl”, it has nothing to do with the reader’s actual size, most of the time. It's just a term of endearment.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

[ Amor a Alejandro Masterlist ] || [ My Masterlist ]

[ipseitydelrey]

Could you maybe do a fic about Carmy and the reader where they dated all through high school and carmy asked the reader to marry him and she says no bc she doesn’t want to hold him back from going to NYC ?

THIS TOOK SO LONG IM SORRY

as they go by ☆ c. berzatto

ship carmen berzatto x fem!reader

warnings angst with an ambiguous ending (sorry babes <3), slight manipulation?, a hell of a lot of arguing, possible break-up (choice is yours), not beta-read

word count 1.5k

summary initially, you were fine with having a long-distance relationship with carmy while he was in new york city. after all, you’re just his girlfriend; you were happy with that, and that’s how you want it to stay when he’s gone.

a/n this took so insanely and unnecessarily long and i am so sorry for postponing this fic. took a while and it was difficult to write, but i felt determined to finish this. disclaimer: not my best work but i legit tried

The proposal came as a shock. You were sure it had been many seconds, maybe even a minute or two since Carmy had uttered the words “Will you marry me?” as if it was a common phrase, thrown out into the open.

To be fair, you both did discuss the possibility of marriage in the future. But you were naïve high schoolers, merely seventeen and blind to the problems you’d have to face in your personal and shared lives.

You weren’t annoyed or angry that Carmy had gotten the opportunity in New York City; on the contrary, you were happy. It’s a great thing for his career in the culinary world, and seeing him be so excited about the prospect made you feel so proud to see how far he had come.

Granted, maintaining your relationship while he was in New York and you stayed in Illinois would be hard. You told him to expect a lot of phone and video calls, as well as a bombardment of messages, but you didn’t know at the time that he would be gone for a year at least. Still, you both agreed to try.

You could handle being a long-distance girlfriend, but being a long-distance wife?

“I don’t know,” you default to as no other words could come to mind.

Carmy looks at you confused. “You don’t know?” he parrots. “What do you mean?”

You open your mouth, but no words come out.; you don’t even know why you couldn’t just say a simple “yes” or “no.” It’s hard to look him in the eyes, especially when an argument is now inevitable, so you keep your eyes glued to your fidgeting hands in your lap.

“Well, um,” you stammer, struggling to find your verbal footing, “I don’t…wanna move to New York.”

Although you only see a blurred version of him through your peripheral vision, Carmy nods slightly and purses his lips. “I know that already.”

You sigh softly, thinking of what to say next. “I’m comfortable here — I like it in Chicago. It’s just…I don’t know if we can make a long distance thing work if we’re married. I’d be busy and I’m sure you would be too, I don’t know how we would be able to see each other in person if our schedules are so full.”

He sighs; you don’t know if this is actually how he feels, but you swear that he’s annoyed that you didn’t say yes. “Is that it? Y’know, I can just stay here if it worries you—”

“No,” you’re quick to cut him off as you snap your head to look at him. “I don’t want you to give up on an amazing opportunity just because of me.”

“There’s other Michelin star restaurants in Chicago,” he reasons. “I can apply to one of them and stay here.”

“But New York!” You didn’t mean to say it that harshly, so you breathe and try to regain your composure. “I don’t know why you would want to give up being a chef in New York just for me.”

Carmy buries his face in his hands, but his mouth is still exposed. “I’m not…giving it up; I’m just relocating, that’s all. Why are you trying to put my career ahead of you?”

You scoff at the notion. “I’m not.”

“But you are,” he counters exasperatingly. “Why?”

Your lips form a line and you look down. The words are hard to conjure, but they come eventually. “You’ve just loved to cook for so long…and now you have a really good offer and I want you to take it.”

“I’ve loved you for longer.” You can’t really argue when it’s kind of the truth. But then again, he’s always had a interest in cooking — and you’re sure that he developed an interest in you after that.

Knowing that you won’t win this portion of the argument, you sigh, and try to change the topic…sort of. “There’s also another thing,” you mention, and he looks at you again. “I don’t think I’m ready for that sort of thing.”

His tone has a tinge of frustration. “You mean marriage?” he asks sarcastically.

“I didn’t mean it like that.” You’re starting to grow annoyed at his stubbornness; of course you knew he could get like this, but he’s really not letting this conversation go for another day. “You know I didn’t mean like that.”

“Well it’s the implication.” The hell does implication have to do with anything right now? “You’re saying it like it isn’t important for our relationship.”

“You couldn’t have waited until you got back from New York to pop the question?”

“I’ve waited and I’m impatient.”

“Carmen.” The nickname is no longer effective. It’s clear to him now that you’re genuinely pissed with him and have had it. “You’re not listening to me; I’m not ready. Please drop it.”

“Last time we talked about this, you were excited,” he says. “What changed?”

“Well, for one, age,” you retort. “We were, what, seventeen? It’s just teenage talk, and we were too young to be thinking about marriage already.”

You tiredly sigh, looking down at your hands again. “There’s more, isn’t there?” He doesn’t ask it like a question, but instead he says it like a statement for you to confirm.

Hesitantly, you nod. “Just— I’m not ready now, but that doesn’t really mean that I don’t want to get married ever,” you try to grasp at any rational explanation you can, struggling to try to explain why. “If you loved me, then you’d wait, y’know.”

Your eyes shoot wide at the realization of what just slipped out of your lips; did you really just say that? It sounds as if Carmy is thinking that exact same question. “I didn’t mean—”

“You think I don’t love you?” His voice carries a sliver of anger and insecurity as he asks that.

“No, Carm—”

Your words force him to look away from you, his brows furrowed and his nose scrunched. He breathes once through his nose deeply before abruptly getting up from the couch and making a beeline towards the bedroom. Worried, you follow his path and find him harshly opening the closet door and pulling out an old suitcase.

You stand there, a few feet away from him, realizing what he’s doing. “Carmy—”

“You want me to drop it, I’m dropping it.” He doesn’t even so much as glance at you as he tosses the suitcase on the bed and starts to grabs his clothes. “You want me to go to New York, I’m taking the fucking offer. I know you don’t want me here anymore; that’s fine.”

“That’s not true.”

The way he packs is haphazard, rushed and angry; much like how he tends to cook when he gets too emotional. He doesn’t even take the time to fold some of the clothes, opting to instead stuff them in and hope they fit well enough to get the zipper closed. “You have all these excuses and you keep delaying it. It’s clear — you’re fine with marriage, but not with marrying me. You keep saying that you’re not ready, but you’re just too scared to say no. And now I have to do it for you.”

He does manage to close the suitcase and he’s fast to collect it and move past you. “Carm, please,” you turn to follow him, the initial annoyance from earlier flowing out of your body and being replaced with some sort of anxiety bubbling up in your stomach. “Let’s talk about this.”

“We did.” He’s white-knuckling the handle of the bag and he looks at you for only a second. You see a flash of anger, disappointment, and something else you can’t quite put your finger on in his eyes. He unlocks the front door.

“Carmen—”

And you’re interrupted by the abrupt slam of the door closing and the absence of him. Just like that, he’s gone; not even giving you a chance to change his mind or even explain what he means to you — what he meant to you.

You’re supposed to cry, but you can’t even try to force any tears out. You’re just numb and bewildered at how fast the situation unfolded.

You consider for a moment about chasing him like the end of an early 2000’s romcom, but you know that this isn’t like a movie. This isn’t fiction, it’s reality; he wouldn’t just accept you back into his arms like nothing happened, he’d be bitter and loathsome, even more so than he usually is.

You’re not sad. You can’t bring yourself to be sad over him, especially when he couldn’t try to understand how you felt. No, you’re…angry? Would that even be the right word for how you feel now that he’s gone?

You don’t need to think about that; you don’t want to right now. Instead, you drag yourself back to the couch where this all started and you fall onto its cushions, tired of him and tired of this.

The next step to take isn’t clear to you at the moment. You could call Carmy, you could wait, or you could not speak to him ever again. The choice is yours to make, but you don’t want to choose right now. Your eyelids grow heavy, and so you let yourself fall into a cold sleep.

would y’all want a part 2 or not? i’d only write it if y’all wanted it.

[greenorangevioletgrass]

fever pitch (b.b.) - part two

previous part | series masterlist

soundtrack: lavender haze - taylor swift pairing: footballer!bradley x popstar!reader synopsis: you and Bradley go on a date. they say the wrong things --or right things-- and surprise each other as they get to know each other better. warnings: language, so much unresolved tension, mentions of character deaths, fluffy heartfelt stuff, but also like sexy stuff 👀 notes: i had so much fun writing this! special shoutout to @gretagerwigsmuse who had to deal with my annoying thots at all hours. comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated as always. happy reading! <3

✨I do not have a taglist. Please follow @ficsbygreenorangevioletgrass and turn on the notification to get the latest update on my fics✨

Subject: Guest Attendance Confirmation From: management@annabels.co.uk

Dear Madam,

Thank you for confirming your information regarding your upcoming visit to Annabel’s.

It is our pleasure to host you for your dinner reservation on the 23rd of March, 2023, as a guest of our member Mr. Bradley Bradshaw. We hope that you have a wonderful experience dining and entertaining at the Club with us.

In order to ensure your positive and memorable experience with us, we kindly ask all members and guests to be aware of a few key rules of the Club:

DRESS CODE. We encourage individuality and style in your smart attire. After 6PM, gentlemen are required to wear jackets. Read the full dress code guidelines here.

PHONE & PHOTOGRAPHY. As a Private Members’ Club, we kindly ask Members and Guests to refrain from taking photographs within the Club’s premises. Posting content to your social media from your visit to the Club is not permitted. Phones must be kept on silent at all times and are only permitted for use in limited areas of the Club.

For guidance, read the Rules & Bylaws of the Club here.

If you require further information or assistance, please do not hesitate to reach out through this email address or by phone at +44 20 7946 0011.

Thank you and see you soon.

Best wishes, Maude Adams Floor Manager.

***

You’re not sure why you’re bracing for something to go wrong.

The restaurant is rife with opulence, with rich chartreuse and bronze walls and Japanese-style paintings over classic British architecture. Bradley booked a little corner booth just off the fireplace, the privacy still granting a nice view of the grandiose bar across the room. He pulled up your chair and told you that you look beautiful—a good three or four times, and it feels just as genuine as the first. With your show and his training the next day, you both had to pass on the booze and settle with some green tea to go with your food. Conversation flows effortlessly, exploring easy topics like your shared love of old movies, the Venn diagram of your music tastes, the novelty of the sport that he plays…

“Okay, but how did you get into soccer—I mean, football?” You smile sheepishly as you correct yourself. “Sorry. Wouldn’t wanna get maimed to death by the locals.”

He laughs. “Don’t worry. You’re safe with me.” And then he takes a deep breath as his finger toys with the condensation on the side of his glass. “It’s… uh, my dad, actually. He bought me a soccer ball for Christmas when I was like 2 and… it’s most of the memories I had with him, playing kickabout in the backyard.”

“Oh?”

He smiles—diplomatically, all things considered. “He died when I was 4.”

Your face falls. Fuck. “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry…”

“Nah, don’t be. It was a long time ago. And I feel like he’s with me every time I step on the pitch.” Bradley nods, ever so reassuring. He’s had enough ‘I’m sorry’s’ for every time his dad comes up in conversation, and he doesn’t want you to feel obliged to do the same.

“But hey, I think it’s wonderful… that he’s right there in spirit with you every game.” You smile back, trying to save this slip-up in conversation. “And I bet your mom’s really proud of you, right?”

To his own surprise, he chuckles. It really is true that tragedy plus time equals comedy. “I mean, I like to think so.” He notices your questioning look, and realizes he needs to let you in on the joke too. “My mom died when I was 17. Cancer. I moved out here and lived with my godfather. Got scouted for Arsenal.”

And there it is.

You’ve been so worried about all the external factors going wrong, that you didn’t consider that the faulty one might be you. 

The clinks of plates and cutleries suddenly become so loud. The subtle piano playing over the speakers sound garbled, like you’re underwater. And the salmon sashimi in your mouth tastes like lead now. How the fuck does lightning manage to strike twice?! 

“I’m sorry, I…” and now you can’t even muster up a proper apology, because what do you even say?! The only thing that comes out of your mouth is a lame excuse, “I… thought it was a good idea not to Google you.”

His heart catches at the sight of you, all wide-eyed and dumbstruck. You wouldn’t believe it if he told you, but he thinks he might have just fallen in love with you there. Foot in mouth and all.

But you… you think you must’ve looked so stupid right now. “Fuck. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have assumed—”

“No, no, no. It’s alright!” Bradley quickly interjects, that twinkle of amusement in his eyes still lingers. “I appreciate it, actually. I’ll take awkward moments with you over anything else you can Google about me.”

“Really?”

He nods. “Of course. I mean… it’s not like you killed them, did you?”

There’s a split second of silence, when you meet his playful gaze, and his mouth pulls into a grin over your petrified look, and then… the tension simply melts away in a sigh of tentative laughs. The garbled underwater music has come up to the surface, the dining noises dissipates, and everything turns back to normal… ish.

“Anyway, what about yourself? How did you get into… all of this?”

“Oh, it’s all I’ve ever known, really. Pretty sure I sang before I knew how to talk. I was always pestering my mom about ballet and piano lessons and living room concerts… I was that kid, you know?”

The image makes him smile, and it sends butterflies to your stomach. “Your mom must’ve been thrilled.”

“Eh.” You shrug flippantly, and that non-answer is enough of an answer for Bradley. “But she knew I was stubborn as hell, and she’s better off letting me tire myself out than trying to stop me, so…”

“But you didn’t.”

You shake your head. “By 5, I was on Broadway—”

His jaw falls open, and he looks at you like grew a new head. “I’m sorry. Five years old?”

You raise your hand in defense, not wanting to oversell yourself. “To be fair, though, it was mostly luck. My mom was working in the theater company and they needed a kid, so I volunteered to stand in—I mean, naturally,” you roll your eyes at yourself, “And they liked me. So they put me on. But I didn’t have to do anything but pretend to be asleep while the adult cast carried me around.”

“Still. That’s more than most people can say. You continued doing it afterwards, right?”

“Mm-hm. Stage, commercials, TV, the occasional movies… anything I could get my hands on.”

Bradley studies you with this look of awe—not an unusual reaction, he’s sure; it’s a pretty impressive feat. But he also catches a lost sense of melancholy in the way you say it, and he can’t help but ask, “Did you have a childhood at all?”

And your heart catches. That’s something nobody ever asked you before… “What do you mean?”

He pauses, realizing he may have inadvertently touched on a sensitive subject with this line of questioning. So he tries again more carefully. “I just meant… you’ve been working most of your life. Did you ever just get to be a kid?”

“I…” you trail off, considering your answer. You want to say yes, of course you did, but the little sting in your throat makes you question yourself: did you?

And with the soft look in his eyes, you know he knows the real answer to that. Both of you do.

It’s alarming how disarming he can be, and you would hate it… except you don’t. At least not enough to make you run off. “I guess, being in that kind of environment, I didn’t really know how to be a kid…? If that makes any sense.”

Bradley nods, understanding. He’s not entirely sure how to respond, but he wants to be empathetic.

“I went to school and made friends for a while, but…” Normally this would be an uphill point in your story, but tonight… this part is tinged with distant sorrow. “I got a record deal when I was 15, and suddenly I was living in LA and working in the studio or going on tours and… I just wasn’t a kid anymore.”

It breaks his heart, the thought of a childhood lost on you like that. “Wow. You really have lived a life, haven’t you?” He can’t resist but reaches out for your hand. 

The touch makes your heart catch, and it feels overwhelming. It feels like you’re gonna burst, so you chicken out with a lame joke. “Haven’t slept in 22 years.”

Bradley can’t help but smile at that, squeezing your hand three times in comfort. And just like that, the bubble bursts and the world continues on its axis once again. He finishes his last slice of tuna tataki and washes it down with his konacha.

“You know, for how much you’ve done since you started out, I thought you’d be more… Hollywood.”

You raise an eyebrow in amusement. “Hollywood?”

“Okay, that came out wrong,” he admits bashfully. “I just… you’re very down-to-earth. And real. I guess I expected more, like, an attitude?”

“Oh? I can have an attitude…” you smirk coyly over your tea, “...if you can handle it.”

Fuck. You’re gonna be the death of him. It’s insane how easily you switch from being sweet and vulnerable, to flirty and borderline devilish. But he wasn’t born yesterday, and he knows he’s well-equipped to handle this back-and-forth.

“I think you’d be surprised by what I can handle.”

Oh, here comes the fun part. “Is that right?”

He nods, leaning into you a little bit from across the table. “I think you’d find a lot about me surprising.”

If the whiff of his Tom Ford Black Orchid catches you off-guard, you don’t show it. Instead, you mirror his body language, propping your chin on your knuckles for good measure. “Like what?”

God, he really wants to kiss you… but it’s way too soon, and he doesn’t know how you feel about public displays of affection. “Like… I’m a pretty decent cook. And I like reading.”

“An athlete who can read? My, my…” you smirk teasingly.

Bradley laughs. He walked right into that one. But he’s not ready to admit defeat yet. Instead, he makes use of that bedroom voice girls like so much to push the point further. “That’s right. I know how to use the washing machine, too.”

You bite your lower lip and sigh, shuddering a little from his low rasp but definitely playing up the dramatics. “You do? Mmh…” 

Jesus. If that’s you faking it, he can’t wait to make you all wet and needy for real. “And you wanna know the best part?”

You meet his gaze, and for a moment, the lustful tension is real. “Yeah?”

He leans in just a little closer, head tilting as if he’s moving in for a kiss. Maybe if he throws it out there… “I can put together Ikea furniture.” 

You throw your head back and feigns a quiet but dramatic moan for your one-man audience. “Oh my gosh, I think I just came in my pants a little.”

Fuck. He really wants to make you come now. With his fingers, his tongue, his cock—

Your gaze drops to his mouth, the stupid 80’s pornstache you’ve never been into before this, the soft inviting lips underneath. The ball is in your court now, and you know he would kiss you earnestly if you close the distance…

But you burst out laughing instead. Bradley releases the breath he didn’t realize he was holding, although your bright laughter doesn’t deter him from thinking dirty thoughts about you. If anything, it just makes you ten times hotter in his eyes.

“Well played. That was a good one,” Bradley concedes, his face turning just a little bit pink.

“We should probably stop before the staff kicks us out for having too much fun,” you lean back into your seat, looking around the restaurant, making sure no one is listening. Squeezing his hand three times as the next course arrives… not entirely putting the kiss off of the table either.

Bradley recommends the vanilla mille crepe to close the meal, and you come up with the idea of sharing a slice. The dessert arrives, a lush little golden brown thing with thin layers of cream in between, so simple and so intricate at the same time. He lets you take the first bite—insists upon it, actually. It’s the gentlemanly thing to do.

That, and he wants to watch your face twist in pleasure again. Eyes fluttering closed, chest falling in a sigh, lips parted ever so slightly... God, he can’t wait to be the one responsible for it.

“Amazing, right?” He beams at you, very pleased with himself.

“Mm, it truly is,” you hum in agreement, watching him take a bite. It gives you a naughty idea… “It’s so amazing, I might just hijack this whole thing.” You jokingly pull the plate a little closer to you.

Bradley playfully holds the plate back, looking faux offended. “Hey! Come on. You know I’m a little bit stronger than you, right?”

“Please. That’s never stopped me before.” 

“Really?”

“I have my ways…” your finger reaches out just enough to touch his, just slightly.

Between that and your eyes darkening in mischief, Bradley fights hard not to turn into goo under your slightest touch. He bites the inside of his cheek to contain himself. “You’re really making me earn this, aren’t you?”

“Why? Girls never gave you a hard time before, Mr. Big Time Football Man?”

He laughs. “No. But you’re probably the only one giving me this hard a time for a bite of dessert.”

“Is that all we’re playing for? A bite of dessert?” you smirk, egging him on.

“What else do you think we’re playing for here?” He takes a second bite, maintaining eye contact as he does so.

You take another bite and lick the cream off of your fork. “I don’t know. A bite of… something else?”

Ah. So we are interested. Bradley is unfazed as he gently warns you, “Careful. I might take you up on that.”

“Good. I was hoping you would.”

The tension rises as reality sinks in. You both want to fuck, and looking at the trajectory of the evening, there’s a good chance you will. And it sobers you the hell up, pulling you both straighter in your seats. Sharing the slice of cake in quiet civility. Keeping a completely respectable distance, as if worried you don’t trust yourself not to climb over the table and kiss him senseless. 

But the game… oh, the game is on.

“I don’t know about you, but… I was thinking maybe a few bites, though.”

“Oh?”

“Oh, yeah. I intend to explore every part of this… dessert.”

You stop chewing for a moment. There’s something so hot about how he says it so casually. “That’s… very optimistic of you.”

“Not optimistic enough to decide if kissing you out here was a good idea,” he admits sheepishly.

“Why is that?”

Bradley shrugs. “Just a hunch.”

He’s right, of course. He didn’t choose an ultra-exclusive, members-only establishment with a no-phone policy just for kicks. He sees the security detail that follows you around, lurking at a safe distance—from back at the club. And tonight, you’re traveling light with just two bodyguards, each strategically posted near you and the exit, but it’s still more than he’s ever encountered. There’s no way you would risk a first kiss in public, no matter how discreet the place is. No matter how much you like him.

And you like him a whole lot.

“Tell you what…” you put the fork down as quietly as you can. This is the moment of truth. “I’ll let you kiss me all you want back at my hotel, hm?”

Bradley’s eyes light up instantly. He takes a moment, not so much to consider his options, but to process what’s about to happen. “I would like that very much, yes.”

“Alright, then. Shall we?” you smile brightly, flagging the waiter for the check.

“Uh, yeah. Totally. We shall,” he stammers a little, recovering fast enough to snatch the check and slips his credit card in the tab. Barely addressing the waiter as they walk back to the till.

It all happens so fast, and you whine in complaint. “Oh, come on!”

“What, was I supposed to let you pay or something?”

“You were supposed to let me pretend to fight for it, at least…” you huff.

He smiles in amusement. You are so adorable, it makes his heart fucking swell. “Okay. Next time I’ll let you pretend. I’ll even give you a little pushback for good measure, how about that?”

“Perfect.”

“Now, let’s go back to your hotel and… I don’t know, pretend you have to try really hard to resist my charms.”

“Yeah, okay.” You chuckle in agreement. This is really happening. Wow. And just as the excitement sets in, another point of concern pops up in your head, like a really annoying notification. “Did you drive here or…?”

He nods. “You wanna take my car?”

“No, I got a car waiting for me…” you smile apologetically, glancing at her bodyguard. There’s no way they’re gonna let you jump into some guy’s car. “And there’s gonna be paps out front…” Here comes the tricky part. “Would you… mind if we… go separately and meet up at my hotel?”

Oh. Bradley’s face falls a little upon realizing that he can’t just walk out the door with you. He sees how this works. You don’t want the media to jump on this first date, and it’s actually a smart move. Besides, what’s a few more minutes to a whole night of complete privacy? “Sure, no problem.”

You nod tentatively. Well, that was surprisingly easy… “And just to be clear, this has nothing to do with you. It’s just… this whole thing can be a circus, and I don’t want you to deal with anything you didn’t sign up for.”

He smiles at you. Bless you for being so thoughtful, but it does make him wonder if other people have had trouble with it. But maybe that’s a question for another time. “Hey, I totally understand. We’ll just meet up at the hotel and leave it at that.”

“I’ll text you, okay?”

You squeeze his hand gently before you get up, making your way out of the restaurant. Powering through the camera flashes as soon as you walk out of the front door. Giddy because you know something these vultures don’t.

Meanwhile, Bradley sits. Waits. For one minute, and two, and three. Looking at people walking in and out, wondering how inconspicuous he would be if he walks out now.

And then…

His phone buzzes.

[cinnajun]

ᵕ̈ ೫˚∗: zb1 and long distance relationships

a/n: this was a fun request :) just in general, i think these guys would be pretty good at it (save for a few of them), mostly bc they’re young and very online

notes: yujin is not included due to his age!

wc | 2.5k

from worst to best at handling it

jiwoong

long distance with jiwoong is just point blank difficult

like i’ve said before i feel like relationships with jiwoong are long lasting so

when you receive whatever opportunity that requires your presence overseas, you’ve been dating for at least a couple of years

your routine is set and there’s a high probability you’re living together

so it’s a major disruption in the flow of your lives

and it’s not to say that jiwoong doesn’t want you to go, nor does he want things between you two to end

it’s just hard to wrap his mind around not having you around for dinner or having to sleep alone :(

so yeah safe to say this is going to be a very difficult time in your lives

depending on how far you are, jiwoong will absolutely be visiting you and staying in whatever apartment you’ve found yourself in

if you’re close enough (aka flight less than 5 hours) he’ll visit multiple times, but anything more than that he’ll probably end up only going once

it’s hard to get time off when you’re a working adult </3

it’s the most difficult for the both of you during holidays

there are days off you had in korea that you don’t have off now, so you physically hurt knowing that jiwoong is sitting at home instead of being on your celebratory day-off dates

and it’s just hard to keep him updated on your life

you fall into a routine of when to call each other and whatnot pretty quickly though

you also write things you want to tell him down in your notes app so when you’re talking you don’t miss anything

and really the main thing that gets you through this is those little sort of habits that you learn to have along the way

but man. you cannot wait to go home

hanbin

this might be a hot take but i think hanbin would hate being in a long distance relationship

in the beginning, he’s absolutely convinced that everything will be fine and nothing will change

his mindset is “i kept my friendship with matthew up while he was in canada, so what’s stopping me from keeping up my relationship with my s/o”

and then a week passed without you and he got really depressed

i think being in a relationship with hanbin means spending a lot of time together, holding hands, and staying near him

so when you’re so far that he can’t even fly to you easily it’s just so difficult for him

but his last resort is breaking up with you

like it’s seriously his worst-case scenario

when hanbin loves someone, he loves them very, very hard

so he will do everything in his power to keep your relationship going, but relationships are a two way street

so you need to put in the work that he’s putting in, too

obviously you’re likely abroad because you’ve taken an opportunity (aka a job) so you can’t be online all the time but

call him when you’re free, tell him when you’re going to be busy, and let him know about every single little victory that you have so you can celebrate together

and, for the love of god, do NOT bring up the fact that you can tell he hates long distance

i’m so serious with this one

hanbin absolutely will not tell you that he doesn’t like it

because, if he knows you know, he’ll feel like you feel like he’s not willing to fight for your relationship (does this sentence make sense)

but just know when you get back you’ll watch him finally relax after like 50 years lol

taerae

i’m going to keep it short: taerae’s heart shatters into a million pieces when you break the news to him lol

like obviously he tells you he’s proud of you and that he couldn’t be more excited for you it’s just that he’s actively crying as he says that

with taerae i think you actually almost reject whatever offer you’ve received, but you pretty quickly realize that doing that would make him feel worse so you decide to muscle through it

the worst part of long distance with taerae is the like week before you leave

he cries a lot and then feels bad for crying but he doesn’t want you to go you know

when he drops you off at the airport you have to take hanbin with you because he’s crying too hard to drive back to his apartment

he hugs you outside the airport doors for like 5 minutes and hanbin has to be like okay … let’s go now … okay … we need to let them get on their flight …

and then you ugly cry for half the flight … like someone reports you to the flight attendant and they’re like is everything okay ?? and you’re like no i just left my boyfriend in korea

after that i think it’s not nearly as bad as you both thought it was going to be LOL

he’s a lil bit (incredibly) clingy at first and gets rly butthurt when you don’t update him on your every move, but then he cries to hao and hao is like “here are some tips!”

then he’s very sweet

taerae will send you videos of him playing the guitar or of him just screwing around with the boys

he also sends you cringy little paragraphs about how much he loves you and how proud of you he is

obviously taerae misses you but tbh it’s like you never left

the only reason he’s not higher up is the pure agony you went through for that week before

taerae the man that you are

gunwook

graduated from taerae school of how do i deal with my s/o going abroad for a bit

he acts all cool with it

when he drops you off at the airport he gives you the gunwook bear hug and is like “i’ll see you later! love you!”

then you get off the plane 10+ hours later and you have like 17 texts from gyuvin describing gunwook going through the 5 stages of grief

it’s actually kinda funny ngl because it’s like a picture of him hugging a pillow with a pint of ice cream in his hand while he watches your favorite movie and cries

also like taerae, everything is absolutely fine within like a week

gunwook’s really cheesy while you’re gone though and that’s how you tell he really misses you

he’s making playlists and posting old cute pics of u on his story with the caption “10,000 km away”

gyuvin also told you that he giggles and kicks his legs every time you text him when he’s not expecting it

he also just hangs out with your family while you’re abroad

he’ll text you like “damn y/n your mom made the most delicious dinner tonight” and you’re like ??? without me????

you later find out your mom invited him over so they could be sad and miss you together which is soooo embarrassing

gunwook will mail you random items from your room and with a note that says “why didn’t you take this” as if you didn’t meticulously pack every single thing you brought with you

so then you have to spend money to mail it back because you don’t want to have to buy another suitcase (you end up having to anyway, but you’re still glad you mailed the things back)

when you get back he cries in your arms for like an hour lol

gyuvin

gyuvin acts like it’s not a big deal but lowkey it’s the biggest deal in his life

he’s like “omg congrats do u wanna get dinner”

that night he cries in hao’s arms like a little baby and then he gets over it

he’s genuinely so happy for you, and there are no strings attached to that excitement

one of his closest friends left his home to pursue his dreams so he should let you leave to pursue them too, you know?

the only reason gyuvin isn’t higher actually is because the other three are long distance from everyone they know LOL

long distance with gyuvin is remarkably similar to just being there with him

when he’s hanging out with friends you’ll be on the phone (albeit muted) just in case you need to contribute to the conversation

and he gets really excited when you have him on the phone while you chill out with your (new) friends

assuming you’re studying abroad because gyuvin’s not old enough to have an s/o with a job that has overseas opportunity, a lot of your time is spent in your dorm so you can call him </3

gyuvin is very popular with your overseas friends and they all follow him on instagram

any time someone hits on you they let him know and also let him know that they told whoever hit on you that you’re TAKEN!!

obviously he doesn’t enjoy knowing that people are hitting on you and he can’t do anything about it but he appreciates that your friends shut it down

all in all i think this is a healthy era of your relatioship and it strengthens your trust in one another a lot

but he prefers you being there with him so come home soon pretty please <3

ricky

yeah long distance with ricky is barely an issue

like when you tell him he’s like “oh…okay” and then he’s sad for a little bit

but then he’s sending you off like nothing is wrong!!! and truly nothing is wrong

i think actually you’d be more sad than ricky is but that’s not to say he’s not going to miss you at all

of course he is

but ricky is a seasoned misser and knows how to keep up relationships from far away (even if he’s never had experience with it being a romantic relationship) so he’s mostly concerned with brainstorming the best ways to like keep things going in a way that isn’t jarring

he consults pretty much everyone he knows on what they think he should do, almost like he’s collecting data or something

so once you actually leave ricky is pretty interactive and prepared for your escapade!!!!

he texts you at specific times of day he knows you aren’t busy and you schedule daily calls at the same time once you know your every day schedule

like gyuvin i’m assuming you’re studying abroad, so your class schedule is on ricky’s home screen (it’s a picture widget) but it’s been translated into his timezone

sometimes he texts you during classes he knows you don’t like and you’re like … isn’t it 4 in the morning

he doesn’t answer that question

but to be fair you do the exact same thing so can you really talk…

like gyuvin, your overseas friends LOVE ricky

sometimes he will sponsor you doordashing dinner and by extension your friends (except you make them pay him back LOL)

and they think he’s the funniest guy ever

bonus: sometimes gyuvin will text you pictures of him scrolling through old texts </3

hao

is this at all shocking

he’s so perfect

doesn’t even bat an eye when you tell him you want to go away for this opportunity you have

“okay! how long until you leave? are they paying for your flights? do you want to start packing now? do we need to get clothes for different weather?”

once you’re off he does get a bit sad but he promises himself that by the time you’re off the plane he’ll be feeling better

he breaks the promise but you don’t know that because he acts like everything is just fine!!!

throughout the duration of your time away, communication with hao is very steady and consistent

you’re each putting in enough energy for a perfect 50/50 split <3

when you start making friends overseas, you show them hao and they’re in awe that you managed to bag the most perfect person on earth

this makes you sad, not because you’re jealous, but because hao would say they should be more surprised he managed to bag you </3

like ricky, he will also sponsor your meals from time to time!! sometimes he doordashes stuff to your place without even telling you like its that serious

hao is the champion at curing your homesickness, mostly because he figured out how to cure it for himself first

if you ever feel like things are too much and you need to leave, he will drop everything to go out there and get you feeling back up to things

he sends little presents every time you have a big achievement or an exciting event

and he’s the number one endorser of getting yourself little treats when you’re feeling proud of yourself

he’s so proud of you

and he’s so happy you got to experience something so exciting

but he can’t lie, it is a big breath of fresh air when you get back lol

matthew

tbh for the sake of this let’s pretend you went to canada bc

why can i see you moving in with matthew’s family idk

you tell him about the opportunity and he’s like My mom will host you

you end up living with his sister LOL

because of that it’s barely like you’re gone

i mean he can come visit you for an extended amount of time and he gets to see his family so its like 2 in 1

in all actuality it doesn’t matter where you go, long distance with matthew is EASY PEASY!!!

i can see him being really trusting in a relationship and that makes things so much easier than not

the first time you get invited out you ask him “hey i got invited to a party tonight, is it okay if i go” and he’s like “ya why wouldn’t it be?? why are you asking me??”

okay feminist

he makes you watch anime with him over like teleparty or something </3 but it’s cute bc his chat reactions are like adorable

#3 of the “your friends love him squad”

they all ask you how you managed to find him because he literally doesn’t care what you do as long as you’re not cheating on him (and you would never do this)

and he’s all happy go lucky every time you talk

when he visits they’re in love with him (PLATONICALLY)

they all ask about his friends in the “haha do you have a brother” way and he’s like “my friend hanbin!”

so now all of your overseas friends want to date hanbin which is awkward

he will also make you buy like presents and things for his friends’/family’s birthdays

obviously with his money but he’s like “can you go to (store) and pick up (item) and then wrap it up and give it to my mom”

it’s very silly

all in all matthew is the long distance relationship you DESERVE!!!!

thank you for reading!

[gatorbites-imagines]

Hey gator, can you make a fic of Homelander dating a trans reader?

(Also you’re doing amazing, I’m so proud of you, and you’re flipping cool :D)

John Gillman/Homelander x ftm reader

Headcanons

Im gonna ignore the fact that Homelander would definitely be transphobic in canon, and write this in my canon where I make the rules.

John probably wouldn’t get it in the beginning, as he was definitely raised not being told about the LGBTQ community by vought, outside of the fact that it didn’t meet Americas standards. So, imagine his surprise when he starts having feelings for you, a man.

You weren’t even another hero, you were just a member of the marketing team who worked closer to The Seven than the rest. Maybe it was the fact that you didn’t fawn over them or fear them, or how you didn’t seem to put up with their shit when they made impossible demands.

The only one you seemed to get along with in the beginning was Black Noir and Starlight, as they were both polite in their own ways.

John couldn’t figure out what it was about you, and it would take some time before he realized you were trans, which he’s able to figure out pretty quickly with his x-ray vision. Whether you wear a binder, have top and bottom surgery, or a third thing, he can spot it, since you would look different than cis guys.

He doesn’t know what to do with that information, especially since he’s already attracted to you and has tried to woo you in his own, showboaty way. Its kinda like watching a peacock strutting around trying to attract a mate.

Homelander is very bad at it though, and is kinda obvious about it too, maybe only to you though. Hes cute in his own way though, as he reminds you of a puppy at times, a very dangerous puppy with laser eyes, so in the end you make take the step and ask him out.

John would sputter and blush, but agree to go on a date. Hes never been one for privacy, so expect a lot of questions about being trans, even very intimate ones that you wouldn’t normally ask a stranger.

I can’t say hed be a great boyfriend, but that’s not because you are trans or anything. It’s mainly because he’s just not a good person in general, and he’s very busy as the leader of The Seven and keeping up his ratings.

But if your fine with both of you having busy schedules, him breaking into your apartment at any time of the day, and him not being public about your relationship as it would ruin his ratings, then I say go for it.

I don’t think he would go out of his way to research the trans experience, as he has you to answer all his questions if he has any. John doesn’t end up caring much about gender as a whole, but he will finance any surgeries or treatment if you want any, because he loves you and shows it through pampering you any chance he gets.

If you have breasts though, he would mourn if you got top surgery, since hed want them in his mouth all the time. But just give him something else to fixate on, and he will be fine. Be it your fingers or your next chest, or something third.

If you just wear a binder, expect him to keep a very close eye on your ribcage with his x-ray vision, and expect to be scolded if you wear it for too long, or if he can see it damaging your ribs. He would probably go out of his way to rip it right off you If you have worn it too long, he will just buy you a new one anyways.

All in all, he’s supportive in his own ways, even though those ways can be… questionable at times. He never actually questions if you are a man or not, and never misgenders you, and lashes out as anyone who does, but he does lack behind in certain areas. John does his best with what he’s got though.

[rose-tea-and-strawberries]

Return To Sender

Reader/Yuu is female

To Me Mr Deuce Spade,

Hello. How are things going? I’m not sure if you remember this but during your first year we all wrote letters for our future selves to read once we graduate. Y/N said that this was something she did back in her world so Professor Crewel thought that it would be a good idea for our homeroom class to do it as well.

To be honest, I don’t really know what to say to - which is weird because I have a lot of things I want to say to my past self. I’m sure you know all about that, we really were a complete idiot back in middle school. Does the guilt ever go away? Did our wish come through? Do we become better? Do we make mum proud and become an honour’s student? Is Y/N proud of us?

I don’t think I need to tell you about Y/N. She’s not someone you can forget. She and I just got together actually! I asked her out and we kissed and it was amazing! I still can’t believe that this is the life I have and knowing me I don’t think you do either. I’m actually really scared. This whole boyfriend-girlfriend thing is new and I really don’t want to mess this up. I’m really good at messing things up.

I don’t know what happens in the future and whatever happens can’t be changed by you. There’s a chance that Y/N has gone back to her home but if she hasn’t, if she’s still there then I’m going to remind you how lucky we are to have her in our life. We both know that we’ve made a lot of big mistakes in our life, mistakes that hurt people we care about and that’s hurt we can’t ever take back but please don’t ever make any mistakes when it comes to her. Don’t ever disappoint her. She’s been through a lot and she deserves so much more than what she’s got.

So cherish her. Spend every day making sure she knows how much we love her. Buy her flowers and take her on dates and do everything that they do in the books and movies. Let her know how much we adore her laugh and that her smile is brighter than the sun and don’t take a single second for granted. Let her know that you’ve loved her ever since the egg incident at the beginning of the year. Listen to her because she’s usually right. Support her just like she’s always supporting us. She feels safe with us. Don’t change that.

Please marry her.

Growing up changes people and every day I’m doing my best to be better so you have to be better too, okay? Don’t make her cry like we made mum because if you do I swear I’ll bash your head in. Don’t be the idiot we both know we can be. Don’t let her get hurt more than this world already did. 

Oh, before we started writing, Y/N told me to tell you that she’s proud of you. She said that she hopes that you're happy and that she’s cheering you on. She also said a bunch of other stuff  but I’m not writing that down.

I hope that we get accepted into the police academy. I hope that we achieve our dreams and make the world a better place. Y/N’s not the only one who believes in you. I do too. I’ve been told that I should love myself so just know that I love you too.

I’ll see be you soon

Deuce Spade (16 years old) 

[lightsoutletsgo]

mimi congrats on 500, i’m so happy for you! 🤍🧸✨🫶🏼 i never send anything for these kinds of things but i need to do it now because i trust you 👀 so okay. . . can i request 2 ships please? and ofc i wouldn’t mind a little nsfw. i’m an aspiring actress, my favorite food is pasta and always will be. i’m a little introverted and shy but once i’m comfortable around people i’m able to get out of my bubble. i’m a perfectionist and don’t like not having control over my life. i have a hard time expressing my feelings :( and may come across as a cold person but i am extremely sentimental, i just wanna be held and loved. i like going out as much as i like staying in watching a movie or doing anything, really.

congrats again baby, love youuuu. <333

ahhh gwen! I'm so honoured that you trust me to write this request hehe I hope you enjoy it - this was literally so fun 🤭 happy reading! love mimi 🤍

MAX VERSTAPPEN ᝰ.ᐟ₊ ⊹ (everyone pretends to be shocked) - calls you schatje or lekker ding (when he's being silly) - loves loves LOVES feeling your hand in his!! it keeps him grounded - his love language is physical touch - he loves surprising you with flowers and buying you flowers. doesn't even need to be for anything, he just loves showing you how he feels through the language of flowers (omg fic idea?)

max relates hard to feeling like a perfectionist and while he also wants you to be the best version of yourself, he doesn't allow you to be hard on yourself. if he sees you getting too into your head, he's quick to hold your face and make you look at him. he'll remind you that he loves you and that he's proud of you. the way he looks at you makes you feel like you could make a million mistakes in the next few minutes and you'd still be okay - because you have him by your side. both you and max are often called the ice couple. no one means anything by it! they just think it's kind of funny how you're so short with others (especially if you're upset or stressed) but then you look at each other and it's like you do a 180. max won't ever admit this but it actually turns him into such a melt knowing that he's the only one who can turn you that mushy.

max loves taking you with him on race weekends and he will never not get butterflies seeing you there waiting for him in the garage with his name and number on your shirt, but nothing makes him get butterflies more than you sleepily curled up on his chest at home. he's a sucker for at-home dinner date nights and he loves cooking with you in the kitchen, it's fine if it gets super messed up because then he's telling you to get dressed and he's taking you out for dinner at one of the nicest restaurants in monaco where you know there's no way that he would have gotten in if he wasn't the max verstappen.

he loves that you have your dream of being an actress and he does as much as he can to support you in that, even if he's on the other side of the world. helping you look for workshops and audition opportunities, introducing you to your favourite actresses and inspirations when they're at the f1, helping you learn and run lines. you support him so much in his dream and career, showing up to as many of his races as possible that he can't wait for the day he gets to return the favour and stand on the red carpet as your trophy husband for the night! he's actually really excited by the thought!

max is absolutely addicted to the noises you make for him and only him as he loves to remind you. nothing satisfies him more than seeing your eyes roll back as he murmurs to you, his voice low, "who's making you this messy schat hmm?". he relishes in the way you squeeze around him when he's pushing in for the first time and you love the way he grips your hips as he does his best to control himself, the ache of his fingers digging into your hips a delicious reminder over the next few hours of just who you belong to. max is possessive, highly possessive. there is no way you're not leaving his bed, couch, apartment, car, driver's room, without him leaving a pretty mark in at least one or two places. he never does it where it can be captured by the cameras, instead choosing spots that only the two of you know about or spots that he can gently press when you're in public, the brief sting sending tingles down your spine.

"schatje?" max's voice prompts you to open your eyes from where you'd been dozing on the couch with the cats, "what do you want for dinner tonight?" you crane your neck to look at him as you gently scratch under sassy's chin, giggling at the way you feel her starting to purr against your tummy, "hmmm..." you look at him and bite your lip with a smile, max chuckles and nods, "pasta it is then!" you let out a cheer as max crosses the room and gently lifts your head to create a space to sit. as soon as he's sitting, he's placing your head back in his lap, one hand automatically soothing over your hair, his other hand snaking down to link his fingers with yours. you hum happily and he gazes down at you with so much love and adoration you swear you could cry. he leans down to press a soft kiss your forehead. you're not even aware of your eyes closing and drifting off to sleep but when you next open your eyes, you're cuddled into max, the cats nowhere to be found. it's dark outside and the lamp in the corner is switched on, casting a dim golden glow over the room. "how long was I out?" max stretches before pulling you closer to him, burying his nose into your neck and inhaling your cosy sleepy smell. "a couple of hours..." you sigh contentedly, hands sneaking under his hoodie to gently scratch at his lower back soothingly and he shudders next to you, "fuck... I missed you this weekend schatje." "I missed you to..." "I really don't wanna get up to make dinner," you giggle, "me either..." he sighs as if he's making a life altering decision, "then I guess we're just gonna have to order from your favourite italian restaurant." you give a little excited squeak as he rolls on top of you, softly grabbing one of your calves to wrap your leg around his waist, leaning down to press a kiss to your neck before he whispers in your ear, his voice gravelly, "think I could make you cum before dinner arrives?"

࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ

LANDO NORRIS ᝰ.ᐟ₊ ⊹ - calls you baby or sugar (when he's being annoying) - is addicted to your lips! like he loves kissing them but sometimes he gets so distracted just staring at you talk - his love language is acts of service - lando really isn't a good cook but he'll learn to make your favourite pasta dish just for you! lando is known for being that happy smiley, golden retriever around everyone whether he knows them or not. but you're not and he understands that! whenever you're in a new environment or meeting new people, he's gently linking his fingers with yours and squeezing once, twice, three times just to remind you that he's there if you need him. he'll happily stand slightly in front of you if it makes you feel better but as soon as you've warmed up and you're in your zone he's stepping back with a proud smile (and totally zoning out because your lips look so good when you smile and laugh)

lando is not a chef in any way, but he is determined to learn how to make your favourite dishes just because the way your eyes widen and you smile at him when he presents dinner to you is worth any amount of time or fails or tiny burns he gets in the process! he loves being able to surprise you after a long hard day or at any point! sure the presentation might be lacking and sometimes you have to add a little extra salt when he's not looking, but he does it with so much love and care. even taking the time to set the table up with a candle and some flowers. he'll pull your chair out for you to sit down and serves you as if you were dining at a michelin star restaurant (the only difference is that you pay him in kisses not cash!) he loves when you sit on stream with him and he loves watching you interact with the fans, asking them questions and passing on their questions to him. fans have made many compilation videos of the two of you and the titles and contents never fail to make you giggle watching them when lando's away and you miss him. "lando and his doberman gf" "golden retriver bf x black cat gf" "lando and his gf being the sun and moon for 10 minutes" lando loves how your lips look when they're smiling and laughing but he also loves how they look wrapped around his fingers as he slowly rolls his hips into you while you whine and moan underneath him. he loves the way they look around his cock and sometimes all you have to do is bite or lick your lips before he's clenching his jaw and closing his eyes, desperately trying to stop himself dragging you off to a quiet corner or his room - he usually fails! lando loves sloppy kisses while he fucks you nice and slow and deep, smirking into the kiss as you let out the most lewd whines and whimpers, drooling and cock drunk. he sometimes gets so turned on that he's begging you to sink to your knees under his desk. he's stopped a stream early before now, just because he couldn't wait any longer!

"hey sugar," you roll your eyes with a smile as lando slides onto the bed next to you, "come here often?" "you're ridiculous," you laugh and shove his arm. he wraps his arms around your waist and rolls onto his back, dragging you with him, "lando!" he cuddles into you, firmly tucking you into his side so you can't escape, "I was looking at an audition!" he sighs, "look later..." you wriggle slightly but he's unrelenting, "you're so needy!" you coo at him and you can practically feel his cheeks heat up, "yeah well... been missing you today..." he mumbles and one of your hands comes up to play with his curls absentmindedly, "ohhh yes please," you snort, "your fans are right, you're literally like a puppy..." he pulls away to look at you, "I'd be a good puppy for you," he says with a wink as you scoff and flick his forehead, "don't be such a whore, babe," "can't help it..." he shrugs, "just gotta look at your pretty lips," his face gets closer to yours and you can feel his breath on your lips, "just one look and I need to feel them."

he's murmuring against your lips at this point and your thighs squeeze together with no warning, he fucking giggles and presses a line of soft kisses along your jaw, teasing you. but you're not in the mood, "lando?" your voice is hushed as you look up at his pretty eyes, watching the way the lust and love he has for you swirl in them, "yes baby?" "kiss me." you don't need to ask him twice, he'll gladly kiss you anytime.

[stay-tiny-ville]

Seo Changbin

Summary ~ what you can catch me daydreaming about when I think is Seo Changbin ☺️ (or just dating head cannons for my first bias of Stray Kids; Seo Changbin)

A.N - I don’t know why but my phone, which is what I edit and write on a small portion of the time, always autocorrects Changbin to CHANGBIN and I can’t tell you how many times it has auto capitalized and I’ve had to go back and fix it smh

A.N. 2 - Binnie is and was my bias when I first discovered Stray Kids and was my best friend’s too at the time, and while I lean more now towards OT8, Binnie will always be my first love

A.N. 3 - at this point I’m just doing all the Stray Kids members before I move on to Ateez, and while I’m in my current Atiny obsessed phase, I’m still trying to figure out who they are and what they’re love is like. But I’m getting there :)

———————————————————

A hot take that some may not agree with - I don’t think he’d date someone taller than him. I know short kings and tall queens get together a lot but I don’t think Bin is someone to date someone taller purely on the fact I feel like he’s made fun of a lot, and while he acts like it doesn’t affect him much—dating someone taller would definitely amp it up

Just my thoughts 🤷🏻‍♀️

Love, sweetheart, lovely, sweets, baby, are what I think he would call you

Holds his arm around your neck and ohmygod he knows what those muscles do

Whenever you’re waiting for something/someone or just hanging out around the dorms he brings you to him by your waist and sits you between his legs, back facing him

Would ask you to go to the gym with him and never in the “you need to workout” way, he’d only mention it once asking if you want to workout with him and depending on your answer he never asks again

He only asked at the beginning for company for him :)

If you started to workout while dating he would ask to be your trainer and would be so gentle with you and not hurt your body

Plus he’s extra protective on the equip where you could hurt yourself

Would tell you he is so proud of you when you progress :(

Pays for absolutely everything and steals your card and hides it (tells you about it so you don’t think it’s actually stolen lmao)

Sometimes he just kneels down in front of you to give you a piggyback ride or sometimes (a lot) he just turns you to face him and lifts you and you wrap your arms and legs around him like a koala

Does it so much that you instinctively lift your arms when he moves to lift you

He brings you to the studio and has a sort of kit of his hoodies and blankets for you to lay on the couch with

You normally stay awake with him and he knows you’re awake by your tapping noises on your phone

But when the noises fade slowly he turns his chair around to you drifting and his rolls his chair over to you

You look at him and he softly smiles at you before he lifts you onto his lap

You sit so you’re straddled him and your head rests on his shoulder

If you’re awake when he does that sometimes you play with the hair on the back of his neck and he kisses your head

If you sleep he takes frequent breaks from working to kiss your head/neck or he just sits back and wraps his one arm around your back and the other rests on the back of your head

When you wake (because he wouldn’t dare wake you by getting up) he stops all work and sits back to watch you wake all the way up again

His hands going back to their place on your back and head

He smiles and says “There you are” when you smile back at him

He kisses your forehead and you fall back into his chest

He always makes sure you are healthy and eating/being hydrated

Personally I struggle with staying hydrated and I know he always carries a bottle with him for you

The absolute biggest baby girl but the biggest scary dog privilege too

If you dress up for date night in dresses he would gasp, eyes wide and have you do little spins :((

Will bark at people if he has to

If it isn’t obvious I just want to be held by him

But laying on his lap omfg THOSE THIGHS

Like Maniac got me in a chokehold

Poppin fr

Loves your laugh, your smile, your bright eyes, and would do absolutely anything to bring out any of it

Honestly in no way shape or form is Changbin loved as much as he should be and it hurts my Binnie beloved heart and I will die before he thinks he’s not as loved as the rest of the group

[infranuz]

“ MY GF’S FAMOUS ” — tokyo revenger headcanons ( x fem )

where tokyorev boys s/o is a kpop idol,, female reader,, draken, mikey, baji, mitsuya, chifuyu ,, modern au

— IVE BEEN WANTING TO DO THIS FOR SO LONG, just thinking abt it always had me thinking of ideas to how they would all have their kpop idol s/o im so glad to finally be writing this &lt;3

warnings;; none I think (hopefully..) most likely bad spelling and a lot of grammar mistakes (not proofread bc it’s late and I’m too sleepy,, hopefully everything is right tho..)

ryuguji ken “draken”

surprisingly he actually knows a thing or two about kpop and idols. Was surprised to see you pop up on tv when he stayed over with Mikey because Emma actually likes ur group. “Woah Ken-chin!! isn’t that [name]??” Draken seriously had to double check to see if it was actually you.

When you actually told him you were a kpop idol he kissed your forehead and said “I know” so proudly. Believe it or not he brags about it to his friends “my girlfriend is a kpop idol, you should stream their music!!”

ALSO he once dragged you along to a party (mitsuyas bday party) and everyone was there, when I tell you hakkai froze and almost fainted at the sight of you. #3 biggest and supporter right there (according to draken) you had to kind of step out for a second with draken before hakkai had a heart attack.

still he was so happy to meet you (his bias btw..) many congratulations and nice to meet you’s from him.

at some point paparazzi actually noticed you with him out on a date (thankfully they didn’t get to snap any pictures) draken dragged you out of the park as fast as he could covering you with his hoodie. he protects you from paparazzi you can’t tell me otherwise &lt;3

BONUS: whenever he hears your songs pop up on the radio (no matter where he is) he turns it all the way up. If anyone is around him he recommends your unit to them. “They’re really good specially [name]!!” (Of course he also looks up to your group members he just likes to brag about you a lot <33)

sano manjiro “mikey”

Once again,, surprisingly knows what kpop is all because of his sister. (I’m telling you Emma is a kpop Stan u can’t tell me otherwise) when he actually gets into your music he’s hooked

He would steal Emma’s photocard collection of you or pretty much anything with your face or name on it. Wouldn’t even feel guilty abt it, not one bit “she’s my gf I think that’s enough explanation!!” “WELL I BOUGHT IT SO ITS MINE” yeah they would both argue until you actually gave Emma new signed merch

MOVIE NIGHTS WITH HIM AND HIS SISTER and many Shinichiro.. you can’t tell me otherwise. You guys would have pop corn and snacks before watching the movie all while having your groups music playing on the background (supportive bf I love him <;3)

He hates paparazzi sm, I feel like he would be really jealous of other people taking pictures of you specially when you’re just trying to have a nice time at some cafe. Anytime paparazzi came to bash you and take pictures with you he would cling onto you and cover you from their view. “Only I should be able to take pictures of you” with a pouty face

You would take him to meet your group members and he would ask for autographs from each of them (to brag to Emma ofc). The dude doesn’t even know their names.. it’s okay tho because he’s now best friends with them!!

He actually stayed on set once you guys were filming an mv for your recently released song. Your group tried to get him to try and learn the dance (he actually made it to the behind the scenes videos which was him dancing with your group)

he reads those [name] x reader fan fictions, hee proud of it actually. Others can keep imagining while he can actually have the real thing, im almost sure he would actually have a fan account just for you.

he 100% goes to your concerts with Emma, you actually reserve him and his sister seats. Most of the time you’re always looking at him when you’re performing. if you send him kisses or winks while you’re dancing he’ll immediately go insane.

he gets backstage privileges. yes he does indeed get that privilege. always congratulated you and your group mates for your amazing performance. is extremely clingy after you guys leave for the hotel you booked. he ends up staying with you because he’s too lazy to drive back to his own house.

BONUS: CUDDLES, the best cuddles you’ve ever received in your life, specially after an exhausting performance. he takes care of you <33 “you did great today”

baji keisuke

he has some idea what kpop or idols are.. the moment you told him he just said “cool” Chifuyu would be the one to explain it to him. Afterwards he would be happy to listen to your songs and even buy your albums

100% convinced his mother would listen to you, idc idc fight me she would. His mother loves you i know she does, the moment you visited baji to meet his mother she cried tears of joy. give this woman free merch SIGNED, dude you would go as far as to take her to your group members so she could meet them all sobs.

once you were tired like really tired since you were coming from endless hours of practice so all you wanted was to spend time with your bf.. you knocked on the door and when he let you in all of his friends were there playing a board game

chifuyu who had begged baji to let him meet you immediately greeted you, bro was fascinated, astonished, flabbergasted to finally see you in flesh and bone. that day you stayed over and played games with them by the end of it you fell asleep. baji tucked you into his bed and afterwards fell asleep hugging you.

HE LOATHES ABSOLUTELY HATES PAPARAZZI. he almost punched one of them once because you were caught completely off guard as they took pictures of you with the flash on. “Piss off cant you see we’re busy??” Most of your fans actually think he’s rude but he’s a sweet guy who just wants to protect his gf <;3

No but fr he would go as far as to break some cameras just so you could have some relaxing time without having to worry about paparazzi. although many attempts have failed because there is abt 100 pictures of you and baji online having dates and picnics.. let’s just say he’s pretty pissed off abt it

baji would 100% teach you how to protect yourself from weird people, pervs and all that stuff. “There’s weird people out there so you need to know how to at least land a punch” you actually ended up sending some perv to the hospital for kicking him where it hurts. baji was proud yet disgusted at how the man even tried to make a move.

BONUS: yk how cats often come into his room, you always take care of them with baji when you stay over. it’s as if the cats were your children and you and baji were their parents.

mitsuya takashi

mitsuya actually listened to your songs even before you started dating. he was quite lucky (as he claims) to have met you that rainy day that you had forgotten your umbrella and he had offered his. “excuse me? here you can use my umbrella if you want” he was so sweet about it “ah, thank you so much I can’t afford my papers getting wet, will you be fine?”

you were surprised he didn’t bash you with questions and asking for an autograph so you guessed he didn’t know who you were. you ended up giving him your personal number so you could return his umbrella. he was shocked when he found out who you actually were,, the rest is pretty much history

his sisters love you, you always make sure to bring them some type of gift before visiting. mitsuya actually tries to get you to not buy them anything because he thinks it’s a lot but cmon now mana and luna deserve love. they wanted your groups albums for Christmas and they got that and more, you got all your group members to record some type of video and greeting they thanked you profusely afterwards

he’s a designer and you are an idol.. guess what that means. HE MAKES YOUR OUTFITS,, he totally does I know it. anytime your group and you come up with a theme for your mvs Mitsuya always offers to make your outfits. you always proudly wear all of his creations,, like for an interview?? red carpet?? music video?? or just an outfit overall Mitsuya is your guy.

paparazzi would be asking you who the designer is and all you have to say is “This is a piece made by my boyfriend, Mitsuya Takashi.. thank you for asking” he gained a few hundred of followers that day.

dates a lot of dates with him whenever you have free time, even tho paparazzi may sometimes ruin it’s okay because there’s a few 20 new pictures of both of you online showing the world how in love u are.

BONUS: movie nights with him and his sisters, it’s pretty much basically just you and Mitsuya since mana and luna always fall asleep on the first 10 minutes of the movie. anyway it’s more time for you and Mitsuya so win win??

matsuno chifuyu

now this little silly he has a whole shelf full of your groups albums, magazines and posters. he listens, streams, quite literally enjoys your music (he stans new jeans and wonder girls you can’t tell me otherwise)

your relationship is pretty much public, all of your fans know who he is. I believe they follow peke j’s Instagram account, (it’s what they love most abt your bf) like his cats account has more followers than his own main acc😭

every time you stay at chifuyu house you always make sure to bring some type of treat for peke j, he absolutely adores you. cuddle peke j and leave chifuyu outside his own bed quite literally

LIBRARY DATES,, you both go to the library to check out/buy manga and other books you may like. you guys have those cute little cafe dates where you guys either spend your time reading or just talking about your day and life

he watches your interviews, AND he was once invited to go into one. like a couple interviews or yk those interviews where couples get cards with questions that only they know abt each other. or just cute games for couples,, yeah those basically. fan base went crazy after that interview dropped

you planned on adopting a cat once so chifuyu recommended some adoption centers. sadly you didn’t end up adopting a cat but you did get a date at a cat cafe so a loss and a win?? “look at this cat!! her name is bee she’s so cute” so many cats surrounded him it was cute <33

he’s neutral abt paparazzi tbh, he just dislikes it when you feel uncomfortable being bashed by so many people at the same time. sadly he can’t do much about them,, but when you’re both out of their sight he treats you to whatever you want a lot of comfort from his part

BONUS: since you’re friends with a lot of other kpop idols you invited chifuyu once to meet some of them. he got to meet a lot of his biases and got a shit ton of autographs and merch,, afterwards he thanked you endlessly,, lots of kisses <33

©asalamis ,, please don’t copy, steal or plagiarize my work in any way, reblogs and likes are appreciated,, hope you enjoyed ty for reading <;3

[hanasnx]

diff anon but what fandoms did you meet your close moots through? i don’t know if that counts as indy lore

that counts! more under the cut. i wanted to talk about all my mutuals

@its-clockwork-princess one of my best, oldest, and dearest friends. years and years of friendship, roleplay, fanfiction, writing. every time i see a duo on screen or in any media my first thought is always her and my second thought is always “us.” we went through a thousand different fandoms and i can’t remember our first but we definitely bonded heavily over fandoms like marvel, dc, and fnaf at the very early stages of our friendship. her dad was actually dating my mom for a long time, which gave us plenty of time together. literally cant even summarize everything we’ve gone through together, everything we’ve built, seriously been friends for a decade and i plan on staying that way for the rest of my life. i cant imagine my life without her, how bleak and colorless it would’ve been. i’m honored to know such a generous and kind person, and someone who helped shape me into who i am today. a love truly unconditional.

@ohgodmyeyes loved his takes on anakin, thought he was so real and so down to earth even though he could stand to be more egotistical considering how talented he is. i think about a certain post he made about anakin -> vader's dick literally once a day. i'm not even exaggerating at all when i say it was my roman empire. in just that small amount of time i was taught his quiet confidence, his exquisite way with words, and his unapologetic thought process. i maintain a distance from him because i'm playing the long game and from what i've seen on his personal posts i feel like he might be overwhelmed if i come on too strong, as i often do. but that doesn't stop me from grinning every time i see him in my notifs and i get to think, "this message was approved by ohgodmyeyes." very proudly.

@somuchfrstardust we talked in the comment section of anakin edits on tiktok i feel like and then i was like "hey wanna be friends" and we haven't talked in a while but that's totally cool, that's just how i am. i still consider them my friend i think they're a rly cool person.

@banakinbabygirl was one of the first anakin/hayden blogs i followed, i love how they write smut. it's a very emotional way of writing, very heavy on the descriptions and realistic reactions that drew me in and kept me there.

@starmanskywalker is one of my favorite writers in general. anything on her masterlist is an instant recommendation from me, instant like, instant reblog, instant indy review. i'm such a jealous person in general but the way i feel about alanis' writing is beyond jealousy. it's admiration, it's fondness, it's awe. i don’t feel envious i feel fulfilled. i was very proud to become her mutual, her friend, be on a first name basis with her, and write fanfiction with her. we have a collab we've been working on for a while but because we're both so busy and it's such a big project it takes a lot of time and a lot of love, but i'm still so excited for the day it's finished and can be published.

@xstarkillerx is so much more than a person i met on the internet. truly one of my best friends, and i can’t imagine not having him in my life. there’s so much i can say that i have actually already said on this blog before. donnie has a way with seeing the world i just love to hear about. i’ll ask his opinions and experiences on everything simply to hear what he, specifically, has to say about it. when we have conversations inhibitions are left at the door for the both of us instead of just me. i feel skinless, muscle-less, body-less with donnie. an entity obsessed with him on discord as we write novels to each other, sonnets about how we view the world and its fictions. donnie is my bread and butter, and i’m so glad i found him and stalked him and forced him to be my friend and now he’s reliant on me just like i want.

@weixuldo such a sweet person and very understanding of me and my boundaries. i first found wei’s blog through their fanart of darth vader which i loved so much i sent every single one of their posts to my best friend who i mentioned at the beginning of this post. i still go back to look at those works every so often to brush up on my love for them. such a talented artist i’m very happy i’m worthy of a follow back, and that we enjoy each other’s content.

@mcondance i met through hobie brown back in june 2022. i loved how they kept luring me to their page by mentioning me and my hobie works they kept reading, i swear they were using my vanity as bait and it worked. they are, genuinely, so fucking funny. i only have friends that are funny don’t get me wrong, but there’s something about jupie that when i’m talking about them to other people, that person is like “omg jupie is so funny.” like. jupie just transcends my sense of humor to other people’s. they’re funny to the masses. i’m very bad at texting, but jupie is a person i try to reach out to so they know i’m virtually loving on them. they like the attention. another writer i’m so pleased to be mutuals with when they’re so skilled at the part of writing i always feel like i’m most wooden at. the side of smut writing that takes feeling and sensation and even an edge of genuine horniness, jupie is so good at translating that onto a page.

@murdrdocs is another mutual i gained from the height of the hobie brown era and i believe i saw her content through jupie’s page. now we don’t get to talk too much but that doesn’t mean i don’t think she’s not a super cool person. i don’t read much, but the things i do get to read specifically on icarus’ page make me very proud to be her mutual. not only is she an accomplished and gorgeous writer, but her blog designs are always envy-inducing. she shifts her aesthetics so seamlessly—even tho i know how changing a theme can be draining and time-consuming—and it’s always easy on the eyes. her navigation is especially creative and i’ll never forget her newspaper clipping themed announcement for last kinktober.

@princessbrunette another writer i’m constantly in awe of. i met her through her anakin works, and invited myself onto her kinktober taglist when she was still a relatively new blog that’s how much i was instantly attracted to her work. her style is so distinct and so refined, i can overlook non canon work because hers is just that good. she’s also very funny, and has a gifted silver tongue. i’m always impressed with how she’s able to paint a picture in her pieces using nothing but the most concise and visualizing words. it’s not often that i watch something because a friend watched it, but i watched obx for her so i could still enjoy her work that’s how much i love it. our universes we create in our dms are so special to me.

@empiresheir was someone i met through their anakin one-shot about order 66 which i’ve reblogged several times and it’ll never be enough. it was such a good piece i gave live updates to my best friend who was reading it too. i sent those screenshots to her orc cos she deserved to know what i had to say. she was also an essential help when i was writing my kinktober project, kind enough to read my pieces and give me line by line feedback just like i like so i wouldn’t go crazy from lack of attention on pieces i couldn’t post til october. not only another talented and powerful writer (capable of dropping my jaw at how insanely good she is at wording things), but such a sweet person to talk to. and though she’s not active in the fandom anymore i think of her fondly and i hope she’s having such a good time with baldur’s gate.

@darthvvder had a collection of anakin drabbles that i found on wattpad of all places and i was amazed at what i read. thoroughly impressed by the physical reactions her works were eliciting in me. got me to care about smut tropes i hadn’t cared about before simply bcos she was so good at writing them. i posted about a line that gripped me and she commented that it was her, i followed and the rest is history.

@jarebare99 is my boyfriend :) he gets an honorary mention. i wrote him an entire book of poetry and my thoughts on him so he can read that if he’s feeling left out from everyone getting paragraphs. i met him in irl not through a fandom but idc.

@ddejavvu was someone i’d see in my notifications including my inbox every so often and she was very recognizable. i really can’t remember how us being mutuals happened? i’d like to say i somehow discovered she wrote and wrote well and once i began noticing i consistently liked her content then i followed and lo and behold she was following me too. mei is very respectful of my space and i like that she texts me without expecting an answer back bcos i like to read her updates and don’t always know what to say. i have some of her inbox messages i gatekeep and i go back and read them every so often and think about how diabolical it would be if i answered them and floored the world, but i have yet to be ready to share the genius.

@anakincentric technically through anakin. even though we don’t talk much bcos both of us have really similar no-contact ways that doesn’t mean i don’t think she’s real sweet. i like when she pops in, drops a banger, and then peaces out. like a disney cameo appearance.

@harrisonbrainrot i wanna say han/indiana. i feel like i was already following his blog because i got to read some of his stuff when i was in a han mood and was like, “yea, this guy gets it.” and then when we reconnected in the comments of someone else’s post, i told him i was a big fan which was true, and then wham bam thank you ma’am mutuals. i have no idea if he knew who i was before or if he was following me, but he’s cool asf. not only is he hot and chill, he’s also really kind with me about not texting. a very generous soul who let me use his crunchyroll to watch jjk out of the goodness of his heart, which i am kissing him for. one of the rare writer’s on here who’s unapologetic in the shit they say, which i always admire and prioritize in who i choose to follow. love his han characterization, so when he’s reblogged a han work of mine, i believe it’s been christened by the harrison ford pope.

@anitheus tagging this blog bcos it’s what i followed first but i also follow her other account @silxani because i love her art style. i love how she draws anakin every time. her spider-sam fanart, and her nsfw anakin works are my favorite, as well as the fanart she made of us for my birthday. gorgeous art style i could look at all day, and i like her personality when we text.

@ivysangel i wanna say it was dc comics but i can’t remember the character, might’ve been jason todd. she came for the dc, and stayed for the other stuff including my general tomfoolery. she flatters me with kind words about how i’ve influenced her, which always makes me soft. we have a lot in common, which is always so much fun to compare, and i love that she watched batman beyond when i recommended it even though i wasn’t expecting her to a) do it and b) love it. she’s aware and respectful of my boundaries when it comes to sharing my ideas which i appreciate, and i love seeing her in my inbox. we haven’t had enough time together for me to nail down everything i like about her, but i will.

@loveliestlovelygirl eloise caught me by surprise bcos it’s not often i get instantly hooked, or at least it hasn’t been that way for a while. i haven’t been in an anakin mood for a while, but i still reblog her works instantly so i can get to it later because i know i’ll like it even though i haven’t read it. idk much about her, but her theme makes me bonkers jealous. it’s so beautiful. like her chapter HTML for her fallen angel au makes me drool.

@psuedosis newest mutual. her reaction towards me made me instantly endeared, and i loved her jet works. some zuko pieces as well! hit at the right time bcos i just finished atla animated. very excited to get to know her more.

boom. indy lore and extensive thoughts on tumblr mutuals.

[webslingingslasher]

It Would've Been Fun, If You Would've Been The One.

requested off this prompt list, i changed it up some to flow better with the story, but same idea. (i am on my period and off an edible but i fucking cried writing this. sometimes we have to leave things behind and it's hard and fucking sucks.)

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Warnings: angst/SAD

Summary: you love peter, he doesn't love you, he loves his girlfriend.

Word Count: 3k

Women support women. 

Unless that woman is Katie Klournox, then women do not support all women. 

Her head is thrown back while she laughs, it’s a delicate laugh. It’s a laugh you could overhear at the booth next to you in the restaurant and smile at. There was something so innocent in the sound, a twinkle of real joy, it was utterly contagious. 

At least it has to be, because Peter seems like he’s thinking the exact same thing while he looks over her. Proud of how he’s made her laugh, her hand grips at his bicep, painted, ringed hands clutched his jacket. She leans into him, her joy takes over the space. 

You nearly choke on it. 

Peter can’t contain it, cuteness overload, how did he get so lucky? He pressed a kiss to her temple, “Wasn’t that funny, was it?” You followed her hand with your eyes as they rested on his chest, she leaned up, his lips followed, he placed another on her cheek. 

Katie’s flush matched Peter’s lip color. 

“I have never laughed so much in my life, I swear.” 

Peter wraps his arm around her shoulders and pulls her in, he rolls his eyes at her remark. “One of these days I’m gonna get a massive ego and you’re going to wonder where it came from.” Katie poked his side, he giggled. “Never, if you get a massive ego on me I’m gonna be the proudest girlfriend ever.” 

The title stung every time you heard it. 

Peter moves to pull at her waist, you can’t help but watch and dare to imagine if it was you. He pulls her in slowly, you watch each second scared to blink, you didn’t dare miss it. His lips rested on hers, she fluttered her eyes shut, you watched as they both smiled for a moment before pulling away. 

It’s been ten minutes and they haven’t acknowledged your existence, you can’t remember why you opted out of Flash’s offer for lunch. 

You assume you’re a masochist, nothing like self torture. 

Peter whispers something and she slaps his chest, you watch her carefully. She’s happy, and so is Peter. 

You can’t decide if you hate her because you want to be her, or because she was braver than you were. 

Peter could’ve been yours, he was yours. You had him and lost him, best friends from the start, and instead of coming clean you watched as another girl scooped him up and you couldn’t even hate her for it. 

You hated how good she was for Peter. 

It made you sick how good Peter was for her. 

It’s been fifteen minutes, they’re lost in their own language and smiles. You’re not even hungry, you stand and no one says a word. 

As you calmly walk away a part of you wonders that if even for a second, did either of them notice you sitting there? Either answer is just as unsettling. 

—-----------------------

Saturdays are for the boys. 

That was the joke, anyway. It was actually you and Peter hanging out but it’s been a while, at first you were able to ignore the fact he was dating Katie, you could just pretend that wasn’t real and dream about mutual pining like it was before he met Katie. But then Katie started coming too, an invite from Peter each week started to leave a sour taste in your mouth. 

It was your day. 

You had Saturdays, she had the rest. 

It was the one day you could pretend that this was an alternate universe where she never existed, but now she had to watch someone kiss Peter in the kitchen, and on the couch, and that one fucking time you caught them in his room, the time where his shirt was off and hands on her bra, the first time you ever felt a piece of your heart die. 

You tested the waters a few weeks ago, a simple text. 

‘Can’t make it tonight.’

He read it, he just never replied. You assume he meant to but got interrupted by his girlfriend calling, or texting, or sitting on his lap. 

Peter never asked about it either, you stopped going after that. 

He hasn’t mentioned it. 

—--------------

You were a woman of routine. 

Peter always stopped by your locker in the morning, until he didn’t show up one day. He didn’t say anything about it either, like the thought never crossed his mind, you weren’t the priority, Katie was. 

Sometimes you wonder if you hadn’t encouraged him what could’ve happened. You just remembered how excited he was, the pure joy burned into his face when he was hit on, when he was asked on a date. 

They shared a computer science class, she was two people down on his right, one day she stopped him after class and asked if he wanted to go out with her. He was so ecstatic, the hot girl in his class asked him out. 

You couldn’t help yourself, he was too happy. He wanted this and you told him to go for it, she was able to get there first. It was a race you didn’t know you were competing in, and you couldn’t match the energy. There was no point in discouraging him because you couldn’t build any yourself. 

But you told him to do it, and now he has a girlfriend and his girlfriend actually genuinely loves him. You bring yourself back and can’t help but wonder if one thing had been different, would everything be different today? 

—----------------------

It’s been a month of no contact with Peter. 

Was a part of it you not wanting to see them be miserably happy? Yes. 

Was it also part of Peter not trying to keep you in his life either? Yes. 

You thought it would be harder, and it was at first. But then the realization came. 

You had no one to blame but yourself, you couldn’t be mad at Katie for doing what you couldn’t and you couldn’t blame Peter for going after it, and you sure couldn’t blame either of them for being a happy couple. 

You could blame yourself for being scared, you could blame yourself for being bitter, you could blame yourself for hoping it crashes and burns so Peter has no other option but to come crawling back. 

Alone in your room you realized all of the blame fell entirely on you, and you had no one to share it with. 

If it weren’t for class you would forget the way his voice sounded, sometimes you wish it could forget the way he says Katie’s name, like it’s his favorite word. You nod and hum while pretending to listen, you don’t care to learn more about her than you have too, you’re scared you’ll like her too much. You count back in your head when the last time either of you have had a real conversation, you feel sick when you can’t remember. You shake your head and blink when Peter snaps his fingers in front of your eyes. 

He laughs, “Are you even listening?” 

You blink blankly, “Honestly? No.” 

Peter’s shoulders slump, “Oh.” 

You feel bad. You’re sick with self pity but still want him to feel better. 

Love is a sick monster. 

“I’m sorry, Pete. I’m just out of it today, say it again?” 

You smile at how his eyes light up, it dies when he begins to speak. 

“Ok! So Katie was telling me-” 

You look at him and nod, instead you’re thinking about wanting to lie and bed and never get out of it again. 

—---------------

You should miss Peter more but you don’t. 

You miss how it used to be with Peter, how Peter used to be with you but how it is now there was no point to miss him. 

If you were to hangout with him the conversation or attention always falls back on Katie, and the part that sucks the most is you can’t blame him at all. Because if he was yours you would only wish he’d act the same. 

Is it wrong of you to dodge Peter? Maybe, but you also didn’t have the mental capacity to deal with him much anymore. 

That’s why you’ve been ignoring his calls. 

You watch his contact photo appear, you count the vibrations and watch as the screen falls black. It’s lit with his face again, after the third round you finally pick up. 

“Hello?” 

“You’re hard to get a hold of, you know that?” 

Funny he says that, he hasn’t called or texted first in over a month. 

“I’ve been busy, what do you need?” 

Straight to the point, on Peter’s end he furrows his brows. You know he’s not calling to chat. 

“Can you come over? I need you for something.” 

It shouldn’t make your heart race but it does, he’s choosing you over her for once. Unless she’s busy, but you refuse to think about that, he’s choosing you, you’re sure of it. 

“Now?” 

“Yeah. Please.” 

He did choose you over her. 

But only because it involved something she didn’t know about. 

You’ve never heard silence quite this loud before, his bathroom is so empty of sound the reminisce drops of his earlier shower echo on the tile of his shower. You hold his skin taught as you pull the needle and thread through, you hear him hiss and can’t help the sadist in you as you tug tighter. 

He’s called you over to help patch him up. Not because he chose you but because you were his closest means of service, you had a tugging suspicion he knows you’ll do anything for him and he’s using that to his advantage right now. 

Normally you’d ask him what happened and tell him he needs to be more careful, this time you didn’t even say hello. You saw what he wanted immediately, what was understood didn’t need to be explained. 

Peter can’t stand the silence, he breaks it. 

“I know it’s late, were you doing anything?” 

The question makes something ache in you. It’s Saturday, it was your day once upon a time, doesn’t he remember? You never replaced the day, instead you sat at home and did something for yourself, a new hobby or even setting the day away to hang out on social media, projecting yourself into other people’s life. 

“No.” You counted four more stitches, then you could leave. 

“I would’ve called Kate, It’s just, you know.” He lets out a dry laugh. 

You settle your movements for a moment, he admitted what you knew but didn’t want to entirely admit. He asked you not because he wanted you, not because you’ve done this a million times before, not because you’re his best friend, not because he missed you. 

But because you weren’t her. 

You stay silent until you’re done. You’re calculated in your movements, you pull your gloves off, wrap the needle in them and toss them. Normally you’d wipe it off and patch it, he can do it himself. You stand calmly and walk around him. 

He waits until you’re in his room, he notices you gathering your things to leave, he stops you confusingly. 

“Thanks, by the way.” 

You nod. 

“Wanna stay? We can hang out if you want, Kates coming over at nine but-” 

There’s no need to let him finish what he considers an offer. 

“No, I’m just gonna head home.” 

He pauses, he can’t recall when there’s been this much tension before. He thinks before trying again. 

“You can get some pizza if you want, I haven’t ate yet today and Kate-” 

You squeeze your eyes and breathe deeply through your nose. You shoot the words out, venomously and quickly, almost amazed you have to spell them out for him. 

“I don’t think we should be friends anymore, Peter.” 

He looks down. 

He plays with his fingers. 

He breathes slowly. 

He blinks with tears in his eyes. 

He whimpers the words quietly, you have to search to hear them. 

“I know.” 

You bite at your cheek and nod. 

You know he knows now, he’s let you slip away and you know it. It was a mutual break up, you just didn’t know until now. 

“You know?” 

He knows what you’re referring to, he sighs and sits on the side of his bed. They say break ups are bad, imagine losing your best friend because you don’t love her how she wants. 

“Yeah.” 

You cross your arms, you look towards the door and imagine bolting. You can’t afford to lose the closure. 

“How long?” 

Peter sniffles and runs a hand through his hair, “I think after that saturday you canceled, I just had this feeling and the more I talked about Kate the more it sunk in.”

“It was hard, Peter. It was really hard. I couldn’t bear being around you, but I couldn’t bear being without you. I was watching myself lose you in real time, I just couldn’t handle it anymore.” 

The conformation hit Peter, he was right. The one time he didn’t want to be right and he was, he was holding out on one last line of hope that he had it all wrong, that this wouldn’t have to end with losing you. 

“I don’t want to be right this time, Y/N. Tell me it’s not true.” He doesn’t know how to be a friend without you. 

You smile sadly, you both have tears in your eyes. 

“I’m in love with you, Peter Parker. And you don’t love me back, there’s no other way this works.” You blink a tear down your face. 

Peter blinks out his own, his voice cracks. “I’m sorry, Y/N.” 

This isn’t how it should be, it should be different. But neither of you are sure who should change their mind. 

You shake your head, you give a teary smile and blink more tears away. 

“Don’t be. You loved me the best way you could and I can never forget that.” 

Peter cracks. He sobs, his chest carries broken cries. “I don’t know how to be without you.” 

You cry just as hard, “I don’t know either.” 

He wipes tears and breaths shakily. You follow suit. 

“But we’ll figure it out.” 

He nods, he has no words. He can’t offer you anything and knows it. 

“I don’t want you to think I’m ending this with resentment. I really like her, Peter, and I really wished I didn’t. It would make hating her a lot easier, and you’re good for her and she’s good for you and I get why you love her and I understand why she loves you. I just can’t watch you love someone the way I love you and know it will never be me.” 

He wants to apologize for not loving you how you want. 

“Can I have a hug before you go?” It’s all he wants, he just needs to feel safe for one last second. 

You oblique, you lean into him one last time. His skin is warm and flush, you forgot how sturdy he felt. His hands spread across your back, you close your eyes and melt into his touch. You can feel him one last time, it feels better savoring the moment. You miss every time you’ve taken his presence for granted. You wish you could replay a movie night one more time, or a bunk bed sleepover one more time. A grilled cheese and scrabble night, a night before May’s birthday, cake making night, just one more night where you were able to both forget how things are now. 

You pull away and smile at him, it’s going to get harder the longer you wait. 

Peter misses the days you both lived in delusion, always praying on hidden hope. He misses that secretive privacy with you, he wants one more with you. 

A lie you’ll both share. 

He catches you at the door, “Hey, you think maybe after some time we can get over this and go back to normal?” 

You turn and give a small smile. 

One last secret. 

“Maybe.” 

[reasonsmandy]

You matter to me

Eddie Roundtree x Fem!Reader

✧.* requested by @itzajeanspears — Hi!!! Love your writing so much!! Not sure if you’re still doing requests lol, butttt I have a really specific one so if you’d be able to do this I’d like actually die omg. Okay so I’m a fashion student from LA and I was thinking, the reader is like basically siblings with billy and Graham, (her dad and their mom started dating when they were kids so they were practically raised together) but she’s closest with Eddie in particular. They’re best friends. They’ve basically been attached at the hip since they were kids. They’re both secretly harboring feelings for each other and everyone knows it but themselves. She’s been there for them since the band started, like Camilla, making them outfits for gigs and stuff. and Eddie even takes her to prom when her date ends up being a jerk to her. Butttt the reader ends up moving to LA to go to fashion school (maybe eventually she can be their costume designer for the aurora tour 🙏) and Eddie slowly stops talking to her god knows why. Fast forward- The band moves out to LA and they stay with her until they’re stable enough to be out on their own. The tension is super high between her and Eddie and EVERYONE notices. Super Angsty. Ends in fluff and love confessions 🫶 maybe angry billy lol. AGAIN THANK YOU!!! I know that was super complicated. YOUR WRITING AND EDITS ARE AMAZINGGGG !!

✧.* you're reading part two, here's the part one — A letter?

✧.* summary — Eddie was waiting for your response, and when it never came... A wall was built between you.

✧.* warnings — none.

✧.* word count — 3.5k

✧.* 🎸 — Eddie's masterlist

✧.* mandy's notes — I know it took me forever!!! I'm so sorry, please enjoy! And let me know your thoughts about it :)

I have no idea how to start this, my head has been a mess since our last conversation. I'm sorry for the way I left, I should've been more polite involving all we've been through in the last couple of months. I confess that I don't understand why you thought I couldn't support you in this situation, I've seen you dreaming about this day since I was ten years old, where we chatted about school and unattainable plans for the future… Seeing you achieve everything you dreamed of is like being hit by a ray of sunshine, I am deeply proud of you.

I wish you all the best on this new journey in your life, you are great and your talent is not left behind! Know that you wouldn't be there if it weren't for all your extraordinary talent. There is something in everything you do that exudes originality and no one can take that away or dispute it from you.

I decided to respect your choice and not go to see you on the day of your departure, I confess that this is demanding a lot from me, but I do everything to see you well. I hope you have a great trip and a great life there too.

I don't want to lie to you, I really hope you write me back, I have a huge hope that you'll give me another chance and we can work things out... I'll understand if you don't want that, I just want you to keep in mind that I love you. Fly towards your dream, and when you miss home, maybe my words will warm your heart.

Yours, Eddie Roundtree.

The bassist seals the letter with trembling fingers, he knew you would leave tomorrow and he still had his doubts about what he was going to do.He wanted to come see you before the match, kiss you gently, hug you as if you were going to escape at any moment... But he couldn't, if that was your choice he would respect that.

He knocks on the Dunne house three times, his hands trembling as he waited impatiently with the letter in hand.

"Eddie? What are you doing here so early my dear?" Mrs Dunne's sweet voice asks, she was quiet, probably because she was the only one awake in the house.

"I— I came to give this to Y/N." He extends the paper to her, confused, the older girl takes the object.

"Do you want to come in?" She asks, opening the door for him.

"No no, thank you." He seemed nervous, afraid that you would show up at any moment. "I really just came to leave this"

The madness was crazy the morning you were going to leave, you waited in secret for Eddie, a hope that he would appear was growing in you even though you wanted to kill it. Everyone else had made a point of saying goodbye, even Warren had stopped by to leave you some chocolate for the flight, but nothing from your boyfriend.

That's what you were, right? After all, there was no ending, not formally in so many words... Anxiety made you fear that when he left that had been your final point.

You open your arms to hug your considerate mother, Mrs. Dunne had been very present to you since she came into your life and saying goodbye was harder than you thought.

"I'll miss you so much." Her choked voice says, and you hold her closer.

"Oh honey, I'll miss you too." She answers, still holding you. "Anytime you need us, you just have to call. You have a family here."

At this point you were already in tears, and you let the hug go to wipe them away.

"Look." She starts to say, opening her bag to hand you something. "Eddie asked me to give you this."

Your eyes widen, you take the letter in your hands and leave for your new life.

…

You open the drawer of the nightstand next to your bed and return the letter to the place it always rests still not being able to open it, a sigh leaves you as you relive the night you had just had. Now that you were in the same city everything was more vivid, it was like living your teenage years again and it was frustrating. Of course you missed your friends and your brothers, but feeling Eddie's look at the back of your head was a huge distraction that kept increasing many questions in the same.

Eddie let the air out of his lungs as his body collapsed onto the bed he had fought for hours with Warren for, He lights a cigarette while staring at the ceiling and gradually sees the smoke draw your face, He hated how all the feelings he had put so much effort into hiding returned like the tide flooding over him, it was frustrating how you could make his heart race in a way no drug could ever manege to.

He knew that maybe all he had to do was just get over it, and that's all he was trying to do since you left Pittsburgh and him. Eddie was never the kind to get attached to relationships easily, he was used to having one night stands or just casual dating, so when his heart was captured by your gaze and the funny feeling of falling in love... He didn't know what to do.

The cigarette had come to an end and sleep had not even threatened to arrive, Roundtree sits on the bed regretting it before even finishing what he planned to do. He might not have talked to you during the party, but he was a good listener, something he didn't know if it was a blessing or curse until then.

He puts his leather jacket over the blouse he had worn to the party he attended hours ago, also grabbing some cigarettes before going down the stairs of the new house towards the keys to Rojas' van. He considers going to the drummer's room to tell him that he had borrowed the vehicle, but settles for writing a note in letters large enough for him to notice while he looks for it.

He let in his breath once again, shaking his head as he starts the van and heads towards what haunts his mind.

...

The three rings on the door make you lazily get out of bed, your arms go to the blouse thrown on the table before answering.

"Eddie?" You say between shock and yawn, your hands fix your hair automatically.

He avoids your gaze, looking directly at the ground as if he is very anxious. You wait for an answer, but nothing comes out of his mouth, you take a step forward taking his hand and leading him inside.

"Is everything okay?" You ask, after you both sit at the table in your living room.

"I don't know." He lets it out, wondering if he should actually do what he had planned. "I wanted to talk to you about everything."

"In the middle of the night?" You let out a weak laugh, trying to lighten the mood.

"I couldn't sleep, sorry I woke you up." He looked embarrassed, but it was as if being there was more comfortable than anything he had been doing before knocking on the door.

"We can talk, no problem.”

"With us moving here I imagine we'll see each other more often than we have over the years." He looks you in the eyes, the red of the cigarette in them. "And I don't want there to be a fight between us, I don't want there to be things that aren't clear."

You let the air out, trying to look as if you were mature for this situation. "What do you mean by that?"

"Even with our history, is everything ok between us?" He wanted to tell you that the answer was no, that he hadn't forgotten you, but it stayed in his throat just like the growing knot.

"For me yes, but for you I'm not sure." You are honest, letting the frustration go with your words. "You were the one who ignored me the whole party, I felt seventeen again."

"You don't need to be sarcastic." He says rolling his eyes.

"Since when do you call the truth sarcasm?" He arches his eyebrows at your response, you click your tongue against the roof of your mouth. "What I meant is that I'm over it, I just don't know if you are."

"You know what..." He gets up, adjusting his jacket on himself. "I think we've cleared that up, let's just be polite to each other and that's it. I see you around."

"You're kidding right?" A mocking laugh is let out by you, disbelief shines through. "Is that what you consider resolution?”

"I'll see you around." He says, you get ready to close the door. "Let's just keep things between us, like before."

Your eyes roll back and you slam the door shut, anger and confusion rising in your chest. How can he just show up in the middle of the night to turn your life around like that? You only feel the tears when they fall on your arm, was it frustration? You preferred to believe so, but seeing him treat you with so much indifference was painful.

Still angry, you go to the nightstands and open the drawer to take the letter in hand. Your vision blurred with emotions growing, you tear it apart and as soon as the first cut is made the rest are just a trigger for the pieces on the floor. You cry, regretting it and at the same time wanting to disappear... It hadn't even been twenty four hours since he had returned to your life and everything was chaos.

You collect the pieces and place them inside the box you found, trying your best not to glue the pieces together to read something that could be your answer.

...

You had done a good job of trying to forget about Eddie Roundtree, you had gone out with a few people and avoided running into him as much as possible when you met the band. But that became impossible when his brother went to rehab and his niece was born.

You moved into their house to help with the baby, Camila had never been so vulnerable and you couldn't feel more angry at Billy than in those first few months. Of course, you knew he wasn't one hundred percent to blame, addiction wasn't easy and it made you very sad to know he was like this.

Your move wasn't complete, you slept there some nights and other nights you went back to your house or studio to create some pieces of clothing. It was hard to face Eddie every day, but you two made a point of avoiding each other as much as possible.

It was hard to remember why you didn't like Eddie much when he was being so kind every day by your side, you start to remember why you fell in love with him in the first place. He was kind, funny, he helped everyone, but he was still the one that left you. And that was certainly the impasse for you to sympathize with him once again.

Night fell on the horizon as you leaned over the counter, a cigarette between your lips as you thought about everything at the same time.

"I see you still like the sunset, sunshine." The nickname makes your spine shiver, you don't turn around, you just let him get closer to you. "It always reminds me of you."

The chill comes to your belly, you turn away in disbelief. "What are you doing?"

He rolls his eyes, “Trying to get along with you, is it that hard?"

You let out a sigh, avoiding his eyes. "You want us to be friends?"

"What's the harm on that?" he asks, resting himself.

You shrug, trying your best not to ask every single question that haunted you over the years.

"You made yourself pretty clear that day in my place." That's all you say.

"Why are you acting like I'm a bad guy?" He's confused, upset in his eyes.

"You can't just keep doing this to me, appearing in my life and just leaving me!" You let out your frustrations, he looks at you without understanding. His gaze fixed on your eyes was overwhelming.

"What do you mean?" His voice was trembling, he took a deep breath. "Look, I know I acted childish that night, I shouldn't have just popped at your place and said those things. But I mean what I'm doing right now, I made one mistake... You're really going to blame me for the rest of my life?"

"One mistake?" You tried your best to hold back your urge to cry. "Look Eddie, it's been a long time. I understand if you forgot everything we've been through, I don't want to..."

"You're acting like I didn't care for you. Like I don't care." His voice was calm, it left you disconcerted.

"How can you say that you care for me if you haven't even reached for me all these years?" You turn to face the sky, trying to keep calm.

"I was respecting you!" He avoided coming closer, even though he wanted to take your hand in his. "I told you that! I—...

He stops when he sees your confused eyes, concern takes over his.

"You didn't read the letter, did you?"

You swallow hard, he waits for your answer but you open your mouth and close it without saying anything.

"Did you receive it?" He asks, you nod your head. "I don't understand..."

"I never read it." You confess, looking at your feet.

"Why?" He felt exposed, hurt.

You don't answer, he seems devastated.

"Fuck." He says passing his hands through his hair. "I can't believe this."

He left, leaving you alone with the sunset.

You made a point of coming home that day, there was no way you wouldn't go back to read that letter, your heart was aching with all the emotions that came up this afternoon. You were overwhelmed and feeling guilty, but at the same time confused... You needed answers.

When you managed to put the pieces together it was difficult to tell what was there, but your body softened and your heart tightened. There was your answer.

...

Daisy Jones was responsible for the band's growth after Billy's relapse, 'Honeycomb' was a masterpiece and the whole world knew it when those chords sounded on the radio. You were happy and proud for all of them, it was great to see them all achieving a dream that you followed from the beginning.

You were really excited to go on tour with them, You had already made many different pieces and I'm really looking forward to seeing them using what you created for them from the beginning. Today was the day of the first show, if you weren't even going to be on stage, you were nervous, you couldn't imagine how they were.

You couldn't contain the tears of emotion when you saw them there, the fans screaming excitedly and a long-time dream coming true, it was an amazing feeling and you were so happy to be part of this somehow.

It wasn't easy to deal with the information about the last situation you had with Eddie, of course, Billy had returned and you had spent less time together but that whole scene never left your mind. You tried to expel the flashes as much as possible while pretending to listen to what Camila was saying.

"Swetie, are you paying attention to me?" She says between a laugh, the music from the celebration party made it hard to hear her.

"Aham." You lie, watching Eddie talk to Warren and another girl you didn't know a few steps away. Camila follows your gaze, and turns with an arched eyebrow.

"What's going on?" She asks, her voice softly.

"I feel like I'll never be able to leave what we had behind me." You felt the words leave your mouth with honesty for the first time in a while.

"Have you told him that?" She asks, looking between you and him.

"I'm pretty sure he hates me, so..." You let out a breath, trying to hold back your tears.

"Eddie could never hate you Y/N."

"How can you be so sure?" You take a sip of your beer, avoiding looking at the distant group.

"Oh honey, if you only knew how many times he told me how he felt... How many songs I heard—

"Songs?" You cut her off, holding her arm. "He wrote songs about me?"

"Many." She responds, stroking his hand with a motherly affection. "You should talk to him."

You gather all your strength to follow her advice, and little by little you get closer to them. Warren is the first to notice you, waving in a comical way for you to come closer, Eddie avoids your eyes, the girl greets you with a small smile.

"Hey guys, the show was amazing." They smile at your congratulations. "I'm really proud of you guys."

"Thank you sunshine." Eddie says, almost regretting using the nickname. "I'm sorry..."

"It's okay." You say under your breath. "Look, can we talk alone for a second?"

"Sure." He turns to Rojas and the curly-haired woman. "I'll be right back."

Automatically you take his hand and guide him to a more private place, it's a few seconds of silence before you know how to start. He doesn't rush you, he just waits for you to feel good to begin with what you had planned.

"I read your letter." That's all you can say, he swallows hard. "I'm sorry it took me so long..."

"It's okay, it doesn't matter anymore." He tries to say, but you cut him off.

"It does! It matters and you know it." Tears manage to fill your eyes. "We matter for each other, you matter to me... And I don't know about you, and I know it's probably too late but I can't forget you."

He takes a step closer to you, never taking his eyes off of you. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying I love you." A choked laugh comes out of you, it was impossible to contain it all longer.

"Fuck." He holds your face in his hands, touching your foreheads together. "Please, don't mess with me." He jokes.

"I'm done building this wall between us." Her voice was honest, her eyes never stopped staring into his. "I just want to be with you."

He kisses you, a kiss you've missed for years, a connection of souls, an inexplicable feeling. His hands cupped your cheeks and caressed your skin, you pulled him close to feel him after so long. He would always be your point of comfort.

"I love you too." He whispers against your lips, your eyes closed. "I love you so fucking much."

"I know it took a while but I kind of want to stay with you." You joke, he lets out a laugh.

"We can tell our children that we've been dating all this time, they don't need to know about this hiatus" He says while caressing your hair.

"Children?" Rojas' voice made you jump in fright. "Damn, you guys are emotional, huh?"

...

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