#I’m going to be so insane in the tags bc this episode had me on my knees

[nebulaika]

How about episode 2 huh?

[kuroshika]

the teacup in hannibal is such a big metaphor. it’s there quite literally since the first episode, all the way until the last. jack treats will like a fine china tea cup, hannibal breaks teacups on purpose, the teacup he shattered has come back together. 

first, one could argue that it’s about family. hannibal says that he breaks some teacups on purpose, waiting to see if they come together again, but they never do. like with mischa, his teacup had been broken, and he lost her, knowing that no matter how hard he wishes, she won’t come back, and the teacup won’t come back together. the same can be said about how he breaks jack’s teacup, by making bella’s life rely on a coin flip and sentencing her to die of cancer. and his own family— will, abigail, and himself. the teacup had been broken when hannibal framed will for abigail’s murder, and it only came back together when will came to warn them about the fbi. he’d shattered will’s teacup with molly and walter before, and now his own was coming back together. his first teacup to come together, and his last.

or, it can refer to his person suit. he breaks the cups on purpose— pushes people out of their shells to embrace their darker parts of themselves. he’d done it with bedelia, and she’d never learned how to put her person suit back up. he refers to will as a teacup in s1, saying “jack sees you more as a fine china, suited for special guests”. maybe it’s because jack only sees the persona will puts forward, his teacup. hannibal shatters will’s person suit throughout the show, and at the end, when he learns that will has given him up, he believes that teacup has come back together, which would be the one time hannibal was dead wrong. it could be interpreted as the reason when will says “it’s beautiful”, hannibal resigns himself to allowing will to toss them both off the cliff, because oh, it hadn’t come back together. i don’t think it’s this one, because he said he did like to see them come together again, and this would be the time where it hadn’t. maybe he meant it in a “no one has been able to do it, so i’m morbidly curious to see if anyone can”?

on that point, though, the whole “no one has been able to do it, so i’m morbidly curious to see if anyone can” — maybe that holds more truth than i thought. it could back up the claim of meaning he wanted to see if someone could put their person suit back up, because the line “do you believe you could change me, the way i’ve changed you” holds some sort of sway here. hannibal has been pushing people to embrace the darker parts of themselves for a long time, and none of them have had any affect on him like will does. when will comes along, and does manage to change him just as much as hannibal had him, maybe that’s when hannibal’s ‘teacup’ for will came together.

or the teacup could mean will himself— or people like will who have held hannibal’s attention before. will is the only one actually referred to as a teacup, if i recall correctly. he’s jack’s teacup, alana’s, hannibal’s. hannibal has broken teacups before to see if they’d come back together— he’s pushed people to the brink of insanity to see if they’d bounce back, the way he had. he shattered their teacups (or, in this case, their sanity), and wanted to see if they’d be able to find themselves again. will was the only one able to, hence the “the teacup i’ve shattered has come together”. he’s pushed will until he thought he was going crazy, then found a grip on himself, using what laid behind his person suit to pull himself out.

i dunno. i like analyzing these things even when i can’t figure them out.

tags bc you asked me for it :: @lesbian-hannibal​ here’s another analysis for you <3

[riacte]

rria . ria dont convert the timestamp of receiving this ask to est but i finished false episodes and i get it i understand the devotion and the homies and the protectiveness hoyljjy fuck save me 🦅🐕save me. beware of dog reapers watch out rendogss about false false false you won💥💥💥😺💥💥💥💥💥💥

RIGHT. THEY ARE SO SWEET IT MAKES ME WANT TO EXPLODE.

When I was watching the first part I was like ohhh she sounds SO soggy when he’s not talking to her. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her this soggy. And then it was slowly building and oh we’re really in it now.

BUT THE REUNION SCENE IS SO!!!!!! They’re so happy for each other 😭😭😭 False saying he deserves the win even though it’s her who won 😭😭 Ren coming in like YOU WON!! YOU WON!! :DDDDD

And I was already screaming and dying. But you can really tell how fond they are of each other. And False being more excited for the cool hat than the Demise prize and he literally promised to give it to her tomorrow when things had calmed down— and she won!! All the dots are connected.

And the end. MAN. “Watch out, Rendog is about” in all caps. Her putting his name and head on her build. And the giggle before the cut. And I’m left sitting here like OKAY THAT JUST HAPPENED. WOW.

I feel slightly insane because it’s like …??? It’s so obvious how core and special their friendship is to both of their contents on HC. Take a quick scroll through their thumbnails and they pop up every now and then. All the collabs. AND STANDING NEXT TO EACH OTHER IN GROUP RECORDINGS (this always happens). We even have major standout events like Blue9 and BRR and S6 neighbours. And now Demise because DUDE. THAT WAS CRAZY.

And still Tumblr (and both of their Twitch chats) seems to be the only site in which people majorly care about their bond? Does that make sense. Tumblrinas screaming and crying and filling up the main tags. Actually Twitch chat is the mvp here because I feel like every single stream of theirs has a mention of the other and chat is like :DDD we love you and the other person :DD. They’re invisible on blue bird site and THANK GOD and STAY AWAY. Orange app is a bit better bc at least the Mc Championship guys recognise them but you know when there was a post back in HC Reddit then asking for “underrated” duos and we had to post FalseRen because other people weren’t. Are they underrated? Do other people think they’re popular. Like Ren isn’t usually paired with False in fanon but I think most people have the awareness to include bits about their friendship? But still? I would’ve expected more… why aren’t they more popular like some other duos even after the five million obvious / dramatic / cute / wholesome stuff 😭 Ren’s favouritism gets worse every time I check in 😭

(I know. It’s because fandoms tend to like same gender pairs. But it does notttt explain why everyone happily pairs up Stress+Iskall and Joe+Cleo and it’s all recognised and these two are like …? oh yeah they’re friends. Right. They’re friends.)

Anyways this got long. That vid makes me soooo happy and it’s sooo good. I know Ren is probably going to make his next ep thumbnail his really cute hut but if False is also on there or it’s titled after something like “WE DID IT FALSE” I would further explode into millions of pieces. 🥺

[gardenerian]

#i could write an entire essay on that 7th gif

What would your thesis statement be?

j/k, not assigning you hw based on some tags XD

(unless you do want to expand on the topic)

please always assign me homework based on my tags, it is a hobby of mine to do Too Much and be Very Annoying about it 😇

so like. okay. the basic thesis statement would be that this moment is a TRAGEDY, alongside 3x06, 3x12, and 5x10. it is a moment of lost opportunity for them and could have changed the trajectory of this episode. 

here is ian’s face when he says you’re not free. it’s a face we’ve seen pretty often this season. hardened, intense, rigid. so sure of his convictions and certain he’s doing the the Right Thing.

but then..... mickey says the makes me free line heard around the world and we immediately get this face! unguarded, surprised, moved, and - afraid? this is a face we have not seen from ian so often this season. it almost mirrors the face when mickey pulls him out of the house after the kenyatta ordeal.... like he’s on the edge of understanding that something’s not right.

then he has this series of expressions - where it’s like he’s about to say something? he’s searching mickey’s face and opening his mouth before shutting it again.... it’s so brief, but it’s like something is bubbling up there. he wants to say something and the shift in energy rolling off of him is SO STRONG.

instead of the constant move move move fight fight fight go go go energy... it just? he deflates a bit. he looks tired, he looks frightened. he looks like he wants mickey to take him home. i am not sure he’d admit HEY I THINK I’M BIPOLAR bc i don’t think he’s there yet.... but i feel like he could have been on the edge of saying that something’s going on. 

that mickey also makes him free from whatever is happening to him. that mickey makes him free after whatever did happen to him while he was away. that he’s so in love it scares him, that he’s afraid of losing mickey while he’s feeling so strange. that maybe he’s feeling out of control. or he doesn’t want mickey’s dad to take away what they have, especially now.

LIKEEEEEE:

OMGGGGG!!!!!!

and it’s like mickey thinks something might be about to change as well? ian takes a big breath and mickey puts his hand on his shoulder. a bracing little rub because he sees this shift in ian. he knows that ian needs something solid and comforting. like he wants ian to know that despite all this hiding, he’s here for him!!! he sees him and will hear him!!! and then iMMEDIATELY the door busts open and ian’s angry again.  

everyone has seen the change in ian this season - we get some insight that ian might sense it too, but ian hasn’t said anything about it. other than “tons of energy”/”i quite smoking” etc... like he hasn’t come outright and said that he feels WRONG. i think the last few episodes of the season see ian starting lose the “fun” of mania and start to get a little scared. i wonder if it was like that with the helicopter situation. 

anyways. i really feel like this tiny moment was tragic because i think it could have changed things - maybe not drastically, but i feel like ian was on the verge of expressing something. fear or pain or need. he might have been more willing to go home and wait for mickey had they had just a few more moments of conversation. we don’t even hear him admit something’s wrong until the end of the next season. after this TINY moment of vulnerability, it’s bottled back up. and it makes me INSANE! 

ultimately i think mickey was destined to come out - that this moment, like those other moments, was probably always going to be ripped away from them. but DAMN if cam’s tiny little facial expression’s don’t make me want to scream into a pillow 😭

[casualavocados]

alright, here comes the long ass super personal and sentimental post absolutely nobody asked for (you’re welcome)

i watched episode 1 of bad buddy the day it aired (1 year ago today!) out of sheer luck. i dont even remember how i discovered it, but my initial thought was: “im bored. it’s 11pm and i dont want to go to sleep. this trailer looked fun. oh it came out today? sure what the fuck.” and i watched it in bed, on my phone. completely fucking unaware of what was about to happen to me and my life - and this honestly amuses me so much when i think about it because let me tell you...

i am NOT one to watch romance for romance’s sake. i really couldnt care less for it tbh. i’m not what i’d call a shipper at all (though i used to be, and if you remember my blog back then i owe you financial compensation bc tbh that whole spectacle exhausted me ANYWAY-). 

romance is just something ive always preferred as a side dish to plot, bc i only tend to like it when it’s super well done, and ive never found any of it very realistic. this was actually pretty unfortunate for past me bc fun fact, i am a little bit of a hopeless romantic, and romcoms are my guilty pleasure. the problem is i also dont like any of them enough to care about them after ive satisfied my initial “i want to watch something cheesy and cute” urge. i’d seen a few other bl’s over the years but only bc i was bored or wanted to watch something gay, and none of them had ever stuck in my mind after i finished them. i actively avoided those fandom spaces so i definitely wasn’t keeping up with what was new. 

(now listen, i have very specific thoughts on bl itself, but im not gonna get into that here (and actually miscellar said yesterday that the bl difference between 2020 and 2022 is unrecognizable and that basically sums it up so i dont have to lmao <3)).

- and ep1 of bad buddy is pretty typical bl! i adore this about it tbh because i was completely unprepared for everything the show was about to pull. my initial reaction was that it was something fun to look forward to every week.

so then-

I dont!! i dont even know how to explain it! ive tried too many times!

but it really is That Bitch, and truly feels like something i’d been waiting my whole life to see. a romantic comedy that was incredibly realistic in the sense of being overwhelmingly human, and also overwhelmingly queer. it’s so effortlessly fucking funny, while simultaneously a very (very very very) layered and emotional story. i will sing its praises to the end of time. it is quite literally the most well crafted show i’ve ever seen, and every time i rewatch it, or go back and reread old meta, im reminded that im not insane believing that. it just literally is that good. it’s such a simple story done so. extremely. well. it’s so ordinary, and that makes it extraordinary, and that was the intention from the start.

but i also have to say, one of the best things about having this show, is getting to be apart of the amazing community i found here loving it alongside me. bc i avoid fandoms. i stick to the places and the people/mutuals i know. i drift through edit tags more than i follow individual blogs. i block people like lightning. i have always had anons and replies off and i enjoy my privacy!!!

and i have talked to more people and made more friends and have had more fun this past year than i ever have before on this site. 

it took me until after bb finished airing to start following people back, but by then i knew which blogs posted what and what i’d want to see more of on my dash - and there are still many many people im not following, or who arent following me, that i talk to! i love each of you so very much, and i want to do a couple special shoutouts, if thats okay. ♥️

SO, in no particular orderrrrrr:

@mrdumpling nuria you were the very first bl-centric blog to follow me, and as such gave me a little bit of a heart attack that day, because i knew you were a popular blog and i Was Not Ready For Attention lol. but im so glad you did! ik we don’t talk often, but i love lurking on your blog and following what you’re interested in, and most especially, sharing this show with you. to say your edits are beautiful is an understatement! i always love to see what you make!! 🧡

@actually-yikes SORA I MISS YOUUUUUU!!! 🌹 i love talking to you, i love bonding over warrior pran with you, i love the edits you make. i think you’re very funny and delightful. seriously. ...im kind of at a loss for words here bc you’re one of the blogs i went to the most while bb was airing, and the first person i followed after it ended. i really just think you’re wonderful, and idk how else to say it! ily!!!💕💕

@miscellar you have some of the best takes ive ever read, and you somehow seem to read my mind and write (in much better words than i ever could!) exactly what im feeling on so many different topics. i love reading your analysis, your criticism, and just in general whatever you have to say. you impress me very much tbh and im always a bit amazed whenever you talk to me. i love sharing meta with you! 💚

@pranparakul KATIIIEEE when you’re not on my dash i miss you. even if you’ve got posts in your queue ill be like 🥺 where’s katie? is she having a good day today? literally it doesnt matter what you post abt, bc your enthusiasm for whatever it is always makes me so happy. keep doing you <3♥️🌸💗💕💜🌸❣💗💜♥️💕

@snimeat GEI. okay we dont talk OFTEN but when we do we talk a LOT. your excitement is sooooooooooooo contagious and it always matches mine and i feel SO SEEN. i think your edits have such a mystical vibe to them...they always make me feel very wistful (in a very good way). luv u 💛

@pranpats Kit!!! your gifs are GORGEOUS. and you are one of the sweetest people on this site. you always say such lovely things in the tags, and i love occasionally coming to talk to you about gifmaking things. you are such a warm presence on my dash! 💜

and of COURSE @grapejuicegay - kk i think we speedran our friendship in the last 6 weeks. idk how we never really talked before, now that i know we were BOTH lurking on each other’s blogs this whole year. i don’t even know what to say that i haven’t already said in our dms. i fucking love talking to you. there are some people you just click with and im so glad you’re one of them. 💙💌💗💖💜💙💕💛♥️🌹💌💖💙💕

there are so many more of you i want to mention here!! and if you read this far please know im probably also thinking of you, and i want you all to know that i have loved every minute watching and sharing this show with you.

im constantly blown away by everyone’s kindness and how welcoming all of you are. this is truly my favorite place to be online. thank you for all the tags on my gifs and meta. thank you for being so warm.

im so happy this little show means as much to all of you as it does to me. happy one year everybody. 🎆🥂💚❤

[willgrahambf]

I posted 1,025 times in 2022

377 posts created (37%)

648 posts reblogged (63%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@willgrahambf

@peoplesoup

@willgrahamscock

@bloodstainedlamb

@dogmotif

I tagged 969 of my posts in 2022

Only 5% of my posts had no tags

#ask - 188 posts

#txt :my thoughts are not often tasty: - 112 posts

#hannibal - 104 posts

#nbc hannibal - 81 posts

#hannibal funnies - 71 posts

#hannigram - 51 posts

#hannibal meta - 47 posts

#hannibal comparative - 40 posts

#hugh dancy - 38 posts

#hannibal art - 36 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#if i did a review for every movie i watched it would take way too long bc i think too hard and can’t be concise and i don’t have enough time

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

hannibal crossing his legs when he sits is hot bc it works on a number of levels. it’s the elegance of the way that he carries himself, it’s the sensual lines that the body inherently makes in that position, it’s the refined repose that masks the predator underneath, it’s the departure from hyper-masculine posture, but most of all it’s bc he is bisexual

1,788 notes - Posted January 25, 2022

#4

i know that the shot of will laying his head against hannibal’s chest in twotl is one of the most iconic images of the show but like…. sometimes i think of it and it takes my breath away bc it’s one of the only times that will seeks physical touch from someone beyond touching a hand and bc i think laying your head on someone’s chest is one of the most tender and romantic things that you can do. it’s pure intimacy, and they really gave of us that between two men on cable television in 2015. it flies in the face of generally socially accepted ways for men to touch each other in american culture, and i know we rage against there being no kiss, but that’s bc to us as lgbtq people it’s obvious what’s between them, but i think it was radical in a way. a kiss would have been a distraction to the general public viewers bc all they’d be able to think about is the fact that it’s two men kissing. but will laying his head on hannibal’s chest, peaceful at last….. that is everything bc hannibal is his everything now, all else has been stripped away, and for the first time, in the entire show will rests without guilt in the only place that can offer it to him. not to go all “their relationship is something deeper than romance and sex” but like it really is. obv i’m of the belief that romance and sex is part of their relationship, but that would be nothing without the simple yet heart wrenching core of it — that they are the only ones who understand and see each other truly for what they are and they are the only ones who can change each other until they fit together perfectly. they made a place for each other there in each other, and the embrace is the physical representation of it. nothing fits like a head against a shoulder or an arm around the waist

2,032 notes - Posted January 26, 2022

#3

See the full post

2,084 notes - Posted June 28, 2022

#2

people who still get scared by hannibal trending on tumblr of all places are so funny like babes the show has been over for 7 yrs there’s not gonna be a s4 there was never gonna be a s4 we are all just mentally ill having ball up in this bitch with our funny little cannibal men and our silly little gifsets don’t even worry about it

2,213 notes - Posted April 5, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

no no no bc will asking hannibal, “how do you see me?” in episode one is so insane bc he wouldn’t have asked just anybody that. he was not inviting the scrutiny of anyone and i mean anyone. he didn’t want people to perceive him. the way he dresses, his glasses, his biting wit, his teacher persona… they’re all methods of self-protection to keep people from looking too closely. but he asks hannibal what he sees bc he really wants to know, and hannibal, who he has just met, doesn’t even hesitate to tell will something that no one else ever has before. something dangerous, something powerful said with admiration. with a smile.

2,608 notes - Posted September 2, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[dokiyeom]

THE TAG IS SO SO CUTE ILL END IT 💥💥 u should send me more asks & ill give u an emoji hihi 🫶🫶 IM EXCITED TOO YAY i have so many fic & smau ideas so im glad i can work on them then! (maybe i should tell u a few of them 🤭 ....)

that sounds so nice!! i think i recently ate sukiyaki (?) && it was so so good! baking and mahjong 💔💔💔 im glad u had so much fun because i also completely get what u mean?? i don't have any family here nor do i have any cousins/family members of my age + the distance is just 👎 so im not in contact with any yk

im still . flabbergasted like i want to go 2 japan too hello 😭 tbh at first i thought u lived in maybe japan or IDK but then u said u would show ur friends ur motherlands? so i was like ??? and also I WANNA KNOW UR TIMEZONE PLSPLS pleaseee yes im dutch & french but was born in the netherlands and lived there for 10ish years before moving to France!!

OK I WILL WATCH AN EPISODE SOON THEN!! pls this is so funny YES ik jay + me = twins hihi i hope so too!! that would be really cool but im just waiting impatiently for the official announcement rn so that i can mark it on my calendar, BOOM! ill also go to a big city just before my bday so maybe MAYBE if I have some pocket money i could buy myself a cute dress for the party and or an album teehee YA I HOPE U FIND IT IN JAPAN OMG im curious do u alr have some albums or like merch

i LOVE sudoku omg ,, it's so cool that ur using photoshop like u made ur carrd thingy with that right? it's so pretty i will never not say that. im sure ur gonna do v well hihi 🫶

i will !!! try to drop by ur ask box more frequently !!! unfortunately i’m,, a tiny bit awful at coming up w ideas on what to say but i will try !!!! and hello yes ??? u should 100% tell me abt ur smau ideas !!! or fic ideas in general && in return,, i’ll share some of my horribly messy notes app full of fic ideas w u <3

aagg i’m so happy u enjoyed sukiyaki !! if u get the chance,, i highly rec kansai style sukiyaki unless eating a bit of semi raw egg feels unnatural or intimidating !! i feel like i should b more loyal to kanto style bc i’m from the kanto area,, but kansai sukiyaki is just. wow. && aagg yea i feel u :(( i think it allows for u to b a lot closer a family friends bc they end up sorta being a proxy,, but it does kinda suck not being close or in contact w extended family <//3

i hope ur able to go someday !!! && my time zone is pacific standard time !! or pacific time atm bc of daylight savings,, but i did live in japan for a while &’& am considering moving back there after uni !! and woa hello u live in france ?? that is so cool omg,, i def want to visit france at some point for the fashion museums and exhibitions wraaaa :0 also fun fact,,, i took a plants/human welfare course last yr && the only thing i really rmbr from that was tulip’s apparently caused an economic recession in the netherlands during the early 1600s :D

EXCITED FOR U TO WATCH !! and omg what if the cb announcement is after woozis done posting all the album pics on his instagram :00 but oo what sort of dress would u get ? lw i’m so insanely picky w dresses that for prom i’ve just decided to get a lower costing plain dress && alter it + sew on an egregious amount of accessories

&& yes i have albums !! for merch i have a candy bong && moa bong that i got for the twice n txt concert i went to,, but unfortunately i stood in like for like an hr and a half at the svt concert mercy line only to reach sort of the front area && hear a staff member at the truck yell that carat bongs were completely sold out <//3 i do have. a pc binder that both brings me sm joy && shame for realizing how much money i’ve spent on. silly little pieces of paper w people taking silly little selfies tho. what abt u :0

RIGHT SUDOKU IS SO <3 but it’s also caused me like. sm headaches omg. and thank uu <3 i did make it on photoshop !! but i’m considering making a new one w more of a powerpuff girls/ diff take on a retro cyber theme :D

[exquisiteagony]

i was tagged by @pastlink! thank you!!!

rules: list your top 5 favourites of your fics, what they're about, and why you're proud of them, then tag some fic authors to do the same!

this got long so it’s under the cut

1. ‘i’ll tear you apart’

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29901996/chapters/73591080

summary: To most, a butcher’s work was messy. Crude. Unrefined. For the ordinary person - however much of a relative concept ordinary way - to butcher something was to fuck it up in a manner unclean and unrepairable.

this is the first dead dove fic i ever wrote! it was inspired by a photoshoot wednesday 13 did dressed as a butcher, and to this day its still perhaps the nastiest thing i’ve ever written! i remember writing it at a rather unfortunate moment, and certainly some of the aspects of it were written out of spite, but i still adore it!

2. ‘carnival days’

https://archiveofourown.org/works/35199232

summary: “I still don’t like this,” Joel said quietly as they watched the gates open for them.

The Carnival was perhaps one of the strangest places Johnny had told them about. He’d spoken of it like it was something miraculous and contradictory, intangible despite the assault on the senses, feeling eternal and yet somehow as brief as a mayfly.

inspired by the shiraz lane song, as well as the book ‘the night circus’ i think this is one of my best fics to date. i was trying to create a vibe of wonder with some underlying creepiness, and i’m still so happy with how it turned out!

3. ‘prometheus into the flesh you carve the pledge’

https://archiveofourown.org/works/35963878

summary: Niko took a steadying breath as he raised the shotgun to his shoulder, the weight of it against him almost comforting. It was so cold the air hurt his lungs, but he’d only have one shot at this. The deer was too large for him to be able to take it down with an arrow, but the shotgun was so loud, and the deer so easily spooked. Running after it would be a waste of energy, and going at a more leisurely pace would run the risk of something else deciding that deer would make a tasty supper.

And the more shots he fired, the easier it would be for the crows to find him.

this was inspired by a rob zombie song, ‘crow killer blues’. i had it plotted out for a short while before i sat down to actually write it, and wound up developing an au i now have two sequels planned for. it’s certainly got one of my lower hit counts joel moment sorry but i think it’s some of my best work

4. ‘salvation a far cry which i will return’

https://archiveofourown.org/works/40570605

summary: Pelle held his breath so it didn’t mist the air, barely daring to blink lest something happened during that brief moment when his eyes were closed. Beneath him, the cold of the snow began to seep in through the layers of his furs, and Øystein’s weight above him was firm, pinning him down with as much mercy as the hard, wintry ground.

Øystein’s hair hung down, tangled with twigs and dark and lank, the strands clumped and feathery.

recently i’ve been feeling a bit burnt out and frustrated with my bc works, so i decided to take a mini break from them. i didn’t want to completely stop writing, however, so i started writing for mayhem on a whim after listening to a podcast episode. the little break has helped a lot, and i came up with some ideas i never would have without it, this being one of them. i’d probably lump it with the ‘prometheus…’ fic in terms of vibe, just a little bit creepier

5. ‘blooddrunk you call me insane, degenerate blooddrunk with a razorblade’

https://archiveofourown.org/works/36665743

summary: Niko Vilhelm was reviled in vampire circles, and for good reason.

Vampire hunters were infamous in vampire circles anyway, because no vampire looked forward to what awaited them after death, but Vilhelm had a particular reputation for cruelty.

who knew that a children of bodom song would inspire perhaps my greatest au? born out of a crappy mood like some of my other nasty fics, ‘blooddrunk…’ is one of my best fics to date. whilst i don’t think it’s my first time writing torture or vampires, it was the first time i’ve written actual major death, and i left it on a purposeful cliffhanger, not expecting febuwhump to give me the inspiration to make it the expanding series it currently is!

and a special mention to ‘belladonna and aconite’ (https://archiveofourown.org/works/38767368/chapters/96934908) for being my longest fic to date, and the first time i’ve really written original characters and have them play a major part. this fic ties some loose threads together and sets up the next few fics, all from the point of view of shiraz lane!

and a final shoutout to my murder channel series (https://archiveofourown.org/series/2556715) for being my first favourite project in the bc fandom! it’s been a fun journey to write it, and whilst i’m sad to see that journey come to an end, it’s pretty much fun it’s course

tagging @outcastedang3l , and as far as i know everyone else has now been tagged, so i’ll leave this open for anyone who hasn’t been tagged but still wants to participate!

[staliasjeronica]

Riverdale S5 Ep16 Thoughts *Spoilers*

Thoughts under cut to keep tag clean!

- Archie feeling guilty about his platoon :(

- “Considering you always screw things up…” GO OFF QUEEN!

- Oh thank you for stopping the random musical number but still fuck you Penelope. ‘A young man of few words’ the writers coming after themselves wow

- Jughead 🥺🥺 but what was the point of that scene with Alice (though I’m glad to see her) like—they could’ve just waited for Betty to be available…

- Jughead apologizing to Principal Weatherbee for his apology tour

- Hermosa and Reggie ew but also Veronica’s reaction is priceless. "What KIND of thing?"But it’s sad yet telling that she had more reaction to Reggie x Hermosa than Barcheating. Fuck these writers smh

- I mean Penelope should be in jail but we’re gonna skirt over that huh… but anyways lets upstage her for the millionth time

- THE ANIMOSITY IN VERONICA’S VOICE ASDFGHJKL;

- God poor Archie…

- “I don’t think it’s a war you can win.” “Maybe not, but it’s a war worth fighting.” YES ARCHIE GO TAKE DOWN GENERAL TAYLOR!

- Hiram being dumb enough to not change his locks after his previous co-worker (?) goes to work with his daughter/rival

- OMG CHERONICA?! FUCK. bugdead really helping everyone actually get screen time together we love to see it! fuck bhva <3

- Jughead wearing purple, Jeronica’s color muah

- Jabitha in Pop’s <3

- Betty sabotaging Jughead in whatever way possible without even truly meaning to r.i.p.

- I hate this ministry cult church bs plot but Cheryl’s outfit is *chef’s kiss*

- Archie being Archie and doing the good thing by asking him to step down, hoping/believing that he would be as good as him and step down :(

- … He’s still a solider who WENT TO WAR? Saw awful shit? The army is not some elite group you freak

- Better opening wounds than to let some asshole gets away with murdering many men and therefore CREATING those open wounds...

- Jughead don’t use her novels… don’t do it… I know you will and that you’ll end up not going through with it but PLEASE

- God seeing the boy in the hallway all messed up is amazing cinematography, but feels kind of out of place for Riverdale. They can only write and shoot well when it’s a character and plot focused episode instead of an insane all over the place episode

- LMAO VERONICA SAID FUCK YOU HIRAM AS SHE SHOULD HAVE! Not Hiram calling Veronica petty…??? He’s the petty child, aka a little bitch as Josie puts it.

- Of COURSE Nana Rose was a beekeeper…

- That coptercab thing sounds like an awful idea asdfghjkl;

- Veronica finally getting rid of Chad from her life as she should!

- Jughead drinking alcohol :( He was clean for a week my poor baby, but it’s so hard to kick… hopefully the writers actually allow him to grow and get better

- I know bh don’t have sex or anythning but this music is so… suggestive?? Why make it sound like they’re gonna get together again stop babying the Bughead’s after all they’ve done to everyone and this show??? Let them whine and cry

- The guilt Eric must feel for doing that FUCK “let me bring this home for you, it would be my honor” stop this is so 🥺😭

- Penelope decides to stop them after they’ve done two “miracles”??? okay… lol

- WHOREMONGER AND ESCAPED CONVICT if you want her gone just send her back?? QUEEN OF TTHE BEES BROOOO her making her mother flinch damnnnn

- ERIC GOING WITH ARCHIE AWW what a G though

- VERONICA IN PINK MUAH! “If you’re gonna bee a big boy, you gotta party like a big boy.”

- “You’ve impressed me, Chad.” ew over an awful idea fajsdlfahsf okay

- “probably not, Jughead, but-“ the way they’re speaking is so awkward

- Why does Jughead have to apologize for the voicemail when he said nothing wrong?? Sure it was a bit much and toxic but he was RIGHT why can’t people call out Betty?

- “I’m in recovery”Jughead says, drinking alcohol...

- Betty’s not gonna apologize for cheating huh… oh yeah lets also bring up the fact that you stole Yale from Jughead.

- Betty’s more comfortable with serial killers than being a normal person… yeah we know Betty

- Betty choosing a serial killer over Jughead BUGDEAD!

- Jughead she’s never taken accountability, she’s not going to stop

- Jughead admitting it wasn’t his novel. Good for him, even though he’s gonna lose his career :(

- BETTY JUST LEAVING LMAO OKAY—

- “my boysenberry is blowing up!” asdfghjkl; Veronica sabotaging Chad MUAH WE STAN! YOU’LL NEVER BE AN ALPHA, CHAD, YOU’RE A BORN BETA.

- So now everyone knows that Chad crashed the helicopter and nothing’s gonna happen bc of it huh

- JABITHA GOT A POP’S HANDHOLD OH MY GODDDD

- “Why are you so nice to me?” Jughead never being able to tell when anyone (aka Tabitha and Veronica) is into him what a babie

- It’s so telling that Betty sees Jughead drinking and says absolutely nothing and only talks about what’s going on with her, but Tabitha immediately makes sure that he’s going to continue going to AA and get better. Jabitha eating Bughead up (which isn’t hard to do considering Bughead was never anything good)

- THEY TOOK GENERAL TAYLOR DOWN!! And Eric isn’t in trouble 🥺🥺

- Tabitha going to help Betty muah we love one of the best girls in Riverdale!

- Not Cheryl thinking she’s a witch… like sure I’ve thought of this for a CAOS/Riverdale crossover but—

- “I’ve got this bad feeling about what happens next.” me after every episode of Riverdale bc of thee dumb ass plots

- When the two miners are Archie and Eric and we get Betty digging him out despite how dangerous it is!

- “If Archie dies, you die.” We stan Veronica Lodge <3

[meetmeatthecoda]

Hey Coda! It's me, the venting/ranting anon that didn't want spoilers!

I stopped after the "pumpkin/Tuscan sunset" episode. I decided that I don't want to watch it anymore, but here and there if I'm eating and nothing interesting is on I will pull it up on Netflix but I'm so disgusted and disappointed with the daddy-daughter thing. There's no WAY with all they have shown us in season 1 and season 2 and the first half of 3 that he should be made related to her. With the comments, the LOOKS my word, and what is said....

Anyway, I found out that this show is based off of a man in real life named Whitey (yes, NOT witney lol) Bulger and he committed crimes with his long-time GIRLFRIEND. So hopefully the show will have it's proper end, I hope they do justice after the season 8 finale which I haven't seen but I heard about. I've already mourned and haven't seen it yet!

P.s.... "There was a WOMAN I loved...." That's NOT a daughter thing. 😔😪

Hey there, Venting & No Spoilers Anon!! 😄 I'm glad you decided to pop back into my inbox!! 🥰 It makes me sad to hear you stopped after the infamous pumpkin ep (obligatory @codewordpumpkin tagging, though I think she's left her TBL tumblr as promised for bigger & better things 🥲🧡) but I completely respect your choice!! I know I stopped watching for a while after the 4.22 "reveal"... until there was another "reveal". I know you don't want spoilers & - regardless of how the show has turned out - I 1000% agree with you on being disgusted by everything after seasons 1 through 3A... But I do want to tell you that the f*ther crap... doesn't last for too long. I mean, there's always hints of it... & it's always helpful to ignore context... but I certainly would not have watched until the end of season 8 had they not... made a change. And the "reveal" that disgusts you so... doesn't turn out to be... so long-term. Idk, I'm trying not to give you spoilers as requested & - while I totally respect your choice to stop watching - I just think that since you're low-key watching a little still anyway... you should know that there's a tiny bit of light at the end of the tunnel, at least where the season 4 "reveal" is concerned. So... yeah 😬 Also, omg, yes, I remember reading about the Whitey Bulger parallels early on in the show & insanely fangirling with everyone when Red & Liz went on the run together bc we thought OMG iT's HaPpEnInG!!! cause obviously, hello, subtext??? but alas. Not so 😐 And while I admire your optimism in regards to the end of the show & the season 8 finale... I won't say anything since you haven't seen it, but I find a Whitey Bulger-esque ending... rather unlikely, unfortunately 😭😭😭 P.S. I KNOW, YOU'RE SO RIGHT, A N D A WRITER/SHOWRUNNER CONFIRMED VIA TWITTER AT THE TIME THAT RED WAS, IN FACT, REFERRING TO LIZ & NO ONE ELSE. AND LANGUAGE LIKE THAT??? PROOF #842051 THAT LIZZINGTON E👏X👏I👏S👏T👏E👏D👏 😓😓😓 Anyway, I very much appreciate your follow-up ask here, anon, thank you for popping back in & please feel free to do so again to update me on your TBL journey, or lack thereof, if that's the route you choose to go!! 😊😊 Thank you again for this ask & much love to you, my friend!! 🥰❤️

[kittyprincessofcats]

RWBY Volume 8, Episode 13 (Worthy)

Well, wow. That sure was an episode that happened.

Thoughts under the cut.

Anyone who leaves spoilers for episode 14 on this will get blocked.

- First of all, I want to now talk about the spoiler I saw for this episode last week, to put the anger from my last post into context: After I had just finished watching episodes 8-12 and started writing my post about them, I went into one of the RWBY tags bc I’m dumb and saw a post that said (I don’t remember the exact words, but more or less): “I’m so glad Yang is finally dead, so now her fans can shut up about her and everyone can ship Blacksun instead.”

… Yeah. Imagine seeing that when you haven’t seen the actual episode and have no idea what really happened. I honestly completely panicked for a few minutes, before remembering I don’t actually know anything and this might just be a “Weiss gets impaled in Volume 5, but one episode later it turns out she’ll be fine” situation. So then I had to look up what actually happened to Yang, because otherwise I wouldn’t have been able to sleep. So, to the person who made that post: Fuck you. Not only did you freak people out for no reason (because come on, there’s no way falling into the void actually kills you – and even if it does, we at least definitely don’t know that for sure after episode 13), but even if Yang had actually died, it’s super shitty that your first reaction to a beloved queer character’s death would be “yay, now people can ship my m/f ship instead”. Like, I don’t care if you personally dislike Yang/ dislike Bumbleby/ prefer Blacksun – show a little bit of decency.

Phew. Sorry, I had to get that off my chest because it really made me angry. Now let’s get into the actual episode:

- “Worthy” as a title pretty much already made me predict that Cinder would succeed in her plan, since “you have to be worthy” was what Watts told her in his speech. She’s gotten the message and is now back to efficient plans – and while I love to see it, it also very much scares me when it comes to our heroes’ survival chances. The last time Cinder was doing well, we lost Pyrrha, so… help.

- And gosh, this whole episode was so intense! I feel like it mostly set up a bunch of very intense situations that are going to escalate in the last episode that I’m very much not ready for.

- I still think the whole central location between the worlds is really beautiful, if dangerous. (They should have specified to Ambrosius that they want handrails or something.)

- Nora using her hammer like a witch’s broom was amazing.

- I also loved the scene with Jaune and the people at the train station; that was really funny.

- The middle of the desert might not have been the best place for the exit. Didn’t the group consider that there might be a sandstorm or something else unpredictable out there? Couldn’t they have picked a better exit point?

- Cinder causing an explosion in the middle of the evacuation that throws multiple people into the void was bad and all – but it was still one hell of an entrance!

- I love that now that Cinder realized that she has to rely on teamwork, she’s suddenly being so nice to everyone. Apologizing to Neo, complimenting Watts on “tearing the kingdom apart with nothing but his intellect”, that soft “You deserve this, Arthur”, complimenting Team RWBY on their plan, thanking them for teaching her “one last lesson”. Yeah, maybe she’s just talking to Neo and Watts like this because she needs their help, and to Team RWBY because she’s confident she’ll win – but it’s still amazing to see the shift in her attitude and how she’s clearly changed her tactic.

- It’s insane to me that some people correctly predicted that Cinder would ask Jinn the last question based JUST on the fact that there’s a part in the opening where everyone else freezes in time while she walks past them. Holy hell! I love trying to guess stuff based on the intro, but I would have never thought that far.

- Cinder’s question to Jinn seems like a waste considering it was Jinn’s last question, but maybe it just seems that way to us as viewers because Jinn didn’t reveal anything we didn’t already know. Was it the right thing for Cinder to do? I don’t know, to be honest. Yes, it did give her the chance to ruin the heroes’ plans, but I have a feeling Salem won’t be happy about the question being gone. Pretty sure Salem was going to ask Jinn how to get the Beacon relic, and now she can’t do that. (Cinder ruining Salem’s plans for the beacon relic? Let that be foreshadowing, please.) I mean, maybe it’s worth it from Salem’s POV if it gets them the staff and then she’ll have 2 of the 4 relics – but they could have still gotten the staff later, while I don’t know if Salem has any plan B for the beacon relic. And I’m a little worried about Cinder now. I always thought that Salem wouldn’t kill Cinder no matter what, because she still needs the Fall Maiden for the beacon relic – but if she now has to wait another 100 years for the beacon relic anyway, I’m not sure if she’ll have a reason to keep Cinder alive. (And I’m still worried about that “Some lives will end much too soon” line playing over that scene of Cinder clutching her Grimm arm in the opening.) I also wonder if Cinder even knew that this was Jinn’s last question. Did Jinn even tell her that? Also, when will the 100 years even be up? Do the questions just reset every 100 years regardless of when they were used? So maybe we’re already at year 80 or something and will only have to wait 20 years?

- The cut from everyone at the central command place screaming to them being dead was kinda funny in a “very dark humour” way.

- When Harriet first jumped onto that ship with the bomb, I, like an idiot, thought that she was finally being sensible and trying to get the bomb as far away from Atlas and Mantle as possible, not that she was trying to still drop it on Mantle. She and Ironwood might as well be working for Salem’s team at this point, because they’re doing everything to help the villains’ plan. And the villains are even counting on it! Watts freed Ironwood from his cell and is piloting Harriet’s ship. Those two are just straight up helping Salem’s team in their attempts to… what was it? Save Atlas?

- Ironwood killing Jacques was awful and proves once again that Ironwood has zero morals left. And I didn’t like Jacques, but that was the kind of death that absolutely no one deserves. He had no way to escape or fight back, he was defenseless, locked up in a prison cell with nowhere to run – that’s not just a murder, that’s an execution without a trial. And Jacques wasn’t even a threat, he wasn’t in the way of any of Ironwood’s plans. Ironwood killed him literally just because he could. And no one who thinks they’re the good guy (and Ironwood still thinks he’s the good guy) should go around just killing people who aren’t even a threat.

- And then we have Yang falling into the void. Honestly, as heartbreaking as Blake’s sobs and anger are, I kind of love this from a “supreme angst, let’s see my faves suffer” perspective. That said, Yang better actually be fine or else.

- Actually, my prediction is that the rest of team RWBY will jump into the void to save Yang in the last episode. Because they’re all falling in the opening, and because “Sometimes it’s worth it all to risk the fall and fight for every life”. That’s pretty much the only prediction I feel somewhat confident about, for the rest I have no idea.

- I wonder if it would have been better if Penny had just gone through the doorway and gotten the staff to Vacuo. I get why she didn’t, because Yang just fell and her other friends were in danger… but at the same time, she was supposed to protect the population and the staff (and she has the maiden powers that I’m sure Cinder still wants). If she had just gotten out of there, at least the group in Vacuo would have had some help against the sandstorm and the Grimm. But then again, it would have also severely weakened Term RWBY’s chances against Cinder and Neo… it’s a tough call, really.

- “Why didn’t you just learn your lesson?” “Oh, Penny… I did.” Okay, but that’s the thing: She really did! Just not the lesson Penny wanted her to learn. And notice how Cinder called Penny by her first name again? She didn’t use to do that. I still think somewhere down the line Penny has earned her respect.

- I wonder if Penny’s technically weaker now because she’s human (?? is she??). She’s definitely not used to fighting without her robotic parts (as you can see when she tries to reach for her swords and realizes they’re not there anymore). I summoning those swords like she then did her semblance or another maiden power?

- Blake now has to choose between helping Ruby and helping Penny and Weiss – gosh, the suspense…

- I’m glad Vine at least finally tried to stop Harriet now! (Better late than never.) But I really wouldn’t blame Qrow and Robyn for crashing into their ship. It’s not like they had any way of knowing that Vine was trying to talk sense into Harriet. Also, Qrow crashing through Harriet’s windscreen was amazing.

- Winter and Ironwood are going to fight to the death and I’m so scared of it. (I just need Winter to survive, please…)

- When Weiss described the doorway as a “one-way ticket to Vacuo” last episode, I briefly wondered if that meant they wouldn’t be let back through, but then I brushed it aside and didn’t think about it too much anymore. Oh, damn. You really do have to be very specific with Ambrosius.

- I’m not even sure which location is the best to be in right now because they all seem very unsafe: Atlas and Mantle are unsafe because Atlas is falling, because Mantle might still get blown up by Harriet, and because Salem might still come back any time. The place between worlds is unsafe because of the void and because there’s a big fight happening right there. And Vacuo is unsafe because of the Grimm and the sandstorm. So really, they’re all awful for the civilians right now.

- And now I’m thinking the volume might actually end with the protagonists split into three groups as well: Team RWBY in the void (that they’ll spend Volume 9 finding their way back from), one half of the other characters in Vacuo (Oscar, Ren, Emerald, maybe more?), and the other half still in Atlas/Mantle (Qrow, Robyn, Marrow, Winter, maybe more).

- I’m super nervous about the last episode. I haven’t seen any spoilers at all so far, and I plan to keep it that way. I’ll probably completely ignore anything RWBY-related until next week because the anxiety would kill me otherwise. I’m really worried we’ll get a character death or even several. And ironically, my first prediction on who might die this Volume (Penny, Nora, Winter, Cinder) hasn’t changed all that much. I’m worried about Penny because she has the Maiden Powers and the staff, so Cinder will come after her (but I really think it would be an awful writing choice to kill her off after we just went through so much to save her). I’m very worried about Winter because she’s engaged in a duel to the death with a man who has a big canon that he just blew someone up with. I’m worried for Cinder because of the opening and because Salem might be pissed at her for using the last question. I’m worried for everyone who’s still on Atlas and might get blown up by the bomb (Qrow, Robyn, Marrow, Winter again). And I’m very worried for the characters who are in the in-between realm. Not so much Team RWBY, but I’m worried about Nora, Jaune, and Penny. So yeah, I’m pretty much worried about everyone and very much not ready. Now let me ignore RWBY’s existence for a week – or only reblog posts I already have saved as drafts – because it’s the only way I’ll know peace.

[whencallstheheart]

I’m majorly disappointed, angry, and absoutletly confused beyond imagination with that S8 Finale - but let me rant to get over my enduring nausea. Beyond the storyline, I find the BTS drama of it all so intriguingly telling. And sadly for us Nathan Fans the drama may be the only WCTH thing left for us to even connect to without watching this increasingly sadistic show.

Everyone knows it was the wrong choice and Lucas fans are coping hard with their win (not sure why they need to) by behaving like the most pompous, egotistical, pretentious, sore winners that I’ve ever witnessed. I see many comments from them that suggest: “Nathan wouldn’t take no for an answer”, “Elizabeth never gave him signs of romance”, “it was always very obvious it was Lucas” or my FAVORITE one... and just wait to hear this BS... “If you don’t keep tuning into WCTH, Nathan Fans, you never liked the show anyway”... 😒 The disrespect that Nathan fans have received is unfathomable, especially when we are told we are “throwing tantrums bc Lucas won” or “we wrongfully believed the world revolves around us”. But look, the reason Lucas fans are acting terribly is because they didn’t expect to ‘win’. They know deep down the chances after S7 of Elizabeth being with Lucas were lower than they could have ever gotten (the hug and all). The best part is scrolling back through the WCTH tag on tumblr.... I have read various posts from Lucas fans that fully expected to “never watch again if Nathan was picked”... It’s so annoying because both sides were going to be upset either way, but in Team Nathan’s circumstance: we were continuously beat down this season by the writers. It became bigger than who was going to win. It’s the disrespect of dragging us along for S8 to get ratings and to secure a S9 renewal - because let’s be real they weren’t going to pair her with Lucas in episode two and expect people to keep the good ratings going. Nathan fans in every poll I’ve witnessed (fb polls or even the one Erin did for Direct TV the other day) averages 70% Nathan and 30% Lucas EVERYTIME with no fail. Here’s the next thing: the Post-Finale interview with Erin, Chris, and Kevin was even worse. The first thing they do is basically pop open the champagne and throw the kiss in everyone’s face (btw ew, it’s like an adult film...) and celebrate that she picked Lucas. Of course, Erin attempts to play it down that she “had mixed feelings about the ending” but ya know all with a big Cheshire Cat grin on her face. I have a feeling she just picked the guy she’d best like to make out with for S9... 🙄 Lord knows that’s all Jack and Elizabeth ever did was fight and make out. Anyway, only Kevin addressed any remorse for Nathan fans and even then I don’t for the life of me understand why he accepts being the second choice when he’s lead material. Honestly, I say, Kevin should leave the show, bc he deserves more than this phony unwanted story its been hijacked into. Sadly, from the interview I get the sinking feeling that the next angle they have been just waiting to take is that “Nathan put himself in this situation by not backing down (though imo he did way too little of)”. Why would they do such a thing, you ask? To hype Lucas fans up (with delusion) and to possibly attract a newer audience (post-Nathan fans departing the show) bc they wouldn’t know the BTS details on how they settled on Lucas and the baggage that came with. Who knows if that will happen, but it wouldn’t surprise me they would go that below the belt after the writers made Elizabeth suggest that ‘Nathan would just never obtain Jack level qualities she would look for in a man’... All in all, these people used Nathan fans and honestly I feel my kindness abused with all the support I’ve given the show and taken advantage of all for some cheap a$$ ratings. Next step forward: Hope #TeamNathan sticks to their word about not watching the show, bc why reward sadistic nonsense???? Heck, forget the sadistic nonsense, it’s just terrible writing. Support FanFiction writers when it comes to Nathan and Elizabeth, not WCTH. THOUGH if I were the glass-half-full kind of gal I would say... ya know what, maybe they have tricked us into thinking the love triangle is over? Maybe next season an old lady friend of Lucas’ strolls into town to share his deepest secrets or a new lady catches Nathan’s eye and makes Elizabeth insanely jealous. Heck, a girl could dream, bc Faith?!? SNOOZE 😭

Oh there’s always the “you’re not a true Heartie” bullshit after something happens that people are even mildly upset about.  There’s definitely the notion that Hearties should NEVER have anything negative to say about the show and if they do then they were never a true fan.  It’s ridiculous.

Nathan has been the punching bag this whole time.  He got so much hate for being involved in Jack’s death.  Fans blamed him for killing Jack as if he’d shot him himself or something.  They hated on Allie constantly because she was merely acting her age.  It was awful and pathetic.  Nathan fans had to endure all of that and for what?  The character got fucked over in the end.  He’ll go on to better things, surely, but that’s not the point.  None of it needed to happen if he wasn’t going to end up with Elizabeth.  Bottom line.

They should just give Nathan and Allie a spinoff.

[mego42]

As always, thanks for all of your thoughts on the episode in tags and posts! I think I'll need to re-watch before finalizing thoughts (except that I hated the way the arrest was handled and the pointless threat), but I always enjoy reading a variety of other opinions.On a positive note, I think the plot for Dean the last few episodes is kind of ideal for him, leaning heavily into him as a hapless idiot. Since the Boland marriage is supposed to be decided this season, any way you see it surviving

ahhhhh ty muchly, i’m just over here trying to sort through my own feelings bc boy howdy are they complicated! and confusing! rio? have rights? like all of them? what is this??? 

this is a total aside but @bethsuglywigs and i were just talking about how while this isn’t the first time the show’s put beth in the wrong, this is the first time she’s been shown to have been fairly unambiguously unsympathetic in comparison to rio who got the full sad!boi treatment complete with tragedy prince backstory and i am reeling tbh. not bc it like, upended my view of him or anything bc i v much think the show has always (done a debatably successful job) walked the fine line of keeping him sympathetic and complex (at least, since s1, he was p flat and stereotypical in s1 tbh, the combo of manny’s energy and his chemistry with christina and james did p much all of that heavy lifting) while still a believable threat, but bc i didn’t think they were going to go quite so hard and so explicit with it. like they literally said RIO IS THE GOOD EGG. GET IT??? GOOD! EGG! 

anyway. beth and dean which is what you’re actually asking about. 

i still think they’re gonna collapse tbh. while the show has moved away from dean like, actively and dramatically transgressing against beth (think like, cheating and lying about cancer, not like going rogue and buying hot tubs and installing them in the living room which i personally think is the strongest argument for the death penalty ever made, i also recognize i’m, you know, insane) they have not done like, literally anything to reinvest in the boland marriage. if anything, the opposite. beth is openly disdainful and mocking of him, she got him thrown in jail (i mean like, he got himself thrown in jail bc he’s a dumbfuck who won’t listen to his wife, but beth created the circumstances in the first place), he’s constantly talking about moving across the country, something beth is never gonna long term (not ruling out a short blip but i’m thinking like, vacation, not actual move) do no matter how much she smiles and nods, and he’s apparently gonna go full MRA. 

but meg! she reached for his hand post-arrest! i think the show’s done a p solid job repeatedly underlining that in many ways dean is beth’s security blanket and for as much as typing that out makes me taste burning in the back of my throat, i get it! he’s been her person for 20+ years! that’s a HUGE emotional investment! that’s really hard to just like, not feel the remnants of so it makes total sense to me that when beth’s at her lowest and most adrift (post 213, post lucy, post this) she goes back to dean bc dean is what she knows, dean’s the only thing she’s had to lean on apparently her WHOLE LIFE and if that isn’t one of the most tragic things about the show, idk what else is.

so yeah, tl;dr, as of right now i still think the boland marriage is on track to be toast. check back in like, 4 eps though bc that’s enough time for literally anything to happen, hahahaha. 

[dokiyeom]

DORI DEAREST 💔💔😭😭😭💔💔😭😭 mmm i will have a lot of free time & since it's the last trimester of the school year and most exams are alr done, it will be less stressful + more fun so yay! but i will still have to study for my two last exams but i hope i can get more into writing & prepare for uni!! im also planning on throwing a bday party for my 18th bday in april so yayaya 🥳🥳

aww no :( i hope ur doing better and that ur well!! SENIOR TRIP??? hello that sounds so cool ! ive always wanted to go to japan so that just sounds super fun 2 !! no no igu it's the same where i live, u basically only see Dutch people during the holidays because they (+ english tourists) love this area LMAOO

NO NO ITS ALRIGHT HAHA i was only sure because he posted a bunch of other pics without the mask yk so don't be embarrassed 🙏 ok and what if i watch an episode today . what then . BUT YES DO SO!! i love it when people ramble about shows or other stuff 🫡

YAYAY scoups said they would have a cb in april and another one this year during caratland but he didn't mention the exact date so im just patiently waiting for the official announcement 🤭🤭 since im an april baby ill just ask my friends to get me that & ask my 1 kpop fan friend (that sounds funny idk why) to organize it since it's pretty complicated to buy an album with all the versions 👎👎 IM AN ARIES .. or a taurus?? april 20 baby here so it's right between them yk? but i did some research about zodiac signs and personality and bla bla bla && decided im more an aries hihi 😇 also why are u losing ur mind over photoshop im curious, tell me all about it!!

dori dearest indeed :D ykw i should start making individual tags for my moots so i can tag dori dearest on these :DD and aagh excited for u to have free time !!!! i’m vv much looking forward to reading whatever u write !!!

thank uu !! i just hung out w family friends && we had malatang && sukiyaki + milk tea & a strawb matcha chiffon cake that i baked + two whole tomahawk steaks && played sm mahjong !! i don’t have any cousins/extended family where i live,, so my family friends have really grown to feel like my family ?? and i literally love them sm,, like hanging out w them today has absolutely made this month exponentially better :D

&& yesyes im actually going back to japan for a bit next month,, so hopefully i’ll b able to buy some tickets to more popular exhibits n stuff domestically in advance for the trip w my friends :D ticketing there is literally insane if ur buying them internationally omg,,, vv much a nightmare process && DORI UR DUTCH ?? woah omg :000

if u watch an ep,, PLS LMK LMAO i need people to talk to abt hospital playlist bc it’s my literal fav thing ever,, like istg it’s the only thing keeping me sane rn :0 AND ALSO HELLO UR BORN ON 420 && SHARE A BDAY W JAY FROM ENHA,, stop i’m so jealous i literally share a bday w,, noah centineo,,, && aagh i hope it’s released around a time that’s convenient for ur friend to buy the album as a gift for u !!!!! tbh if it’s that time too,, mayb i can find it for slightly cheaper in japan :00

and dori. i’m like. constantly losing my mind over photoshop and sudoku. and digital magazines that require paid subscriptions to read their articles. but photoshop is just,, vv difficult to navigate atm bc i’ve only started using it a month ish ago to learn graphic design !!! so i still have a long way (and many more headaches) to go until im comfy && can use photoshop fluently <//3

[alovesongshewrote]

Jolene | Hisirdoux Casperan x Reader

Plot:  Douxie teaches you how to play the guitar after a nasty break-up.

Word Count: 1,794

Warnings:  Angst, descriptions of being in a toxic relationship, break-ups, crying, cheating, the gif has nothing to do with the plot i just like it

A/N:  So, while this is cute towards the end and everything, I just want to apologize for anything that might be triggering.  I got out of a very nasty relationship recently and I needed to vent.  Thank the gods for the wizard boy, amirite?  Anyway, thank you so much for reading, AATY will be updated soon, it’s just taking longer because I want to stay accurate to the actual episodes of wizards.  Love you guys, please enjoy <3

(Also, try reading this while listening to Jolene and tell me what you think, bc I never did that and I want to know)

Tag List: @furblrwurblr​

Looking back on it, you should have broken things off sooner.

Literally, every flag in that relationship had been red, but you ignored them all hoping that he’d get better.  That he’d start to listen to you without responding in a resentful way, that he’d stop trying to control you, that he’d learn to respect your boundaries without a fight.  It never happened.

You tried to bring up your grievances with him, but he always tried to turn it back on you, making it seem like your fault.  It didn’t work.  You were smart enough to recognize manipulation and gaslighting, but you weren’t smart enough to leave.

And then he cheated on you.  That was enough.

You ended things as respectfully as possible, even though he really didn’t deserve it.  You didn’t even mention his infidelity or the fact that he had never respected you.  All you did was tell him that it wasn’t a good time for a relationship.  He tried to make you feel guilty, but he never once asked you to stay or told you he loved you.  You did the right thing.  You knew that.

But you felt like crap after it was over.

All you did for the next two days was lounge around in your pyjamas and listen to ‘Jolene,’ by Dolly Parton over and over again.  It wasn’t productive, but it was what you needed.

It made your friends a little nervous though.  

Throughout your little break from society, you'd received a decent amount of texts from concerned friends who weren’t super sure what was going on but wanted to support you nonetheless.  

Douxie was the first person you’d told.

He was the friend you trusted the most.

Of course, he was concerned for you.  So concerned, in fact, that he straight-up ran to your apartment to spend time with you.  And you really appreciated that.

You’d let him into your small home, which was surprisingly clean for the spiral you’d been going down.  The only thing that a person could find odd was the music you were listening to.  It was just ‘Jolene’ by Dolly Parton, over and over again.

It wasn’t exactly his type of music, but he respected your coping mechanisms.  And he had to admit, the guitar was really nice.

“So, how’re you holding up,”

“I’m okay I guess.  Better than I thought I’d be.  It just kinda hurts, y’ know?”

“I know, darling, I know.  Here, sit down, I’m making you some tea,”

“You don’t have to-”

“I’m going to,”

You smiled, watching him walk into your kitchen before you flopped down onto your couch.  The tea didn’t take long, and before you knew it, Douxie was on the couch next to you.

The warmth from the cup was nice, simulating human contact.  You missed human contact.  And now you had no one to give it to you.  Not like you did before, but still, the thought stung.

You didn’t realize there were tears in your eyes until Douxie’s hand was on your shoulder.  His hazel eyes peering into yours.  You hoped he didn’t see how hurt you really were.

He did.

“Oh, love, come ‘ere,”

More tears came to your eyes as Douxie came closer, wrapping you in the best hug you’d had in months.  He didn’t say anything, and neither did you.  He just held you close and let you cry into his shoulder for as long as you needed.  And this was what you needed.  

It took you about ten minutes to cry yourself out.  Douxie didn’t mind.  He was going to be there for you, no matter what, and if that meant his shirt got a little damp, he didn’t care.  You were more important.

“Thanks, Doux,”  you said, voice rough from crying, “Oh, god.  I’m sorry,”

“You don’t need to apologize.  You needed to vent your feelings, I’m just glad I could help,”

“Me too,” you pulled back, just enough to see his face, “I’m still going to apologize for getting your shirt wet though,”

Douxie laughed, “That’s fine, (Y/N), I care more about you than the shirt,”

You didn’t say anything.  If you did you’d cry again.

So, you just sat there, relaxing with your friend, drinking tea and listening to Jolene on repeat.  Your eyes were closed, your head on his shoulder, and his arm around you.  It was nice.  Really nice.  Better than anything in your actual relationship.

And then you had an idea.

“Hey, Douxie?  You do music, yeah?”

“Yeah, why do you ask?”

“Do you think you could teach me how to play this on the guitar?”

“If you want me to I can,”

“I think I’d like that.  I want to make something good out of this.  It can’t be all heartbreak,”

“You’re right, darling, it can’t.  We won’t let it,”

You smiled at him, making his whole being feel warm, “Thank you,”

“It’s my pleasure.  I can pick you up tomorrow if you’d like?”

“That sounds good,” you said, relaxing back into your place at his side.

The two of you stayed like that for another hour.  You could have stayed there forever, but you wanted Douxie to get home before it got too dark.  Weird things happened in Arcadia at night, and wizard or not, you’d prefer it if he stayed safe.  

You said goodbye in a moment of tension.  Not the same angry tension you’d known with your ex, but something new.  Something much softer.  You realized then that you wanted to kiss Douxie.  That kissing him wouldn’t be a chore, something you did to keep up appearances.  It wouldn’t be something that was done to you because someone else wanted it.  This would be something you did because you wanted to.  But you didn’t kiss him.  Not yet.

The next day, Douxie was at your door, ready to walk you from your apartment to his.  It wasn’t a long walk by any means, but it was enough to fit in some quirky banter.  It was more than enough for you to feel safe again.

“Do you think pigeons have feelings?” you asked as Douxie unlocked the door.

“Probably.  We could ask Archie, he might know?”

“That sounds like a plan,”

He let you into his home, which was just as you remembered it.  Comfortable, a bit scrappy, but in a way that made you feel comfortable.  Right now, Douxie’s apartment felt more like home than yours did.

“You get the guitar, I’ll make tea,”  you said, turning to face him.

“You don’t have to-”

“Ah, yes, but I’m going to,”

He smiled as you walked away.

One pot of tea later, a guitar was in your hands.  It was taking you a hot minute to get the chords right, but you were nothing if not determined.  Douxie was an amazing teacher.  He was patient, calm, and not at all condescending.  It was a nice change from what you were used to.

“Here, let me,” he said, moving his hands to rest over yours, positioning your hands properly, “Like this,”

“Thank you, Douxie,”

“It’s not a problem, love,”

“No, I mean, seriously.  You didn’t have to do this.  Thank you,”

He moved his eyes from your hands to your eyes, “(Y/N), of course I had to do this.  You deserve the world and better,”  he took a deep breath,  “Love, I’m so sorry that that bastard hurt you.  He did so many awful things to you, and you’re incredible for handling it the way that you did,”

“Really?”

“Uh, yeah?  You handled it like an adult.  I think I would have killed him,”

You laughed.  You wouldn’t mind it so much if Douxie fought your ex.  You didn’t want him dead, but if your wizard friend could kick his ass a little, that would be nice.  Of course, the first one who got a chance at knocking some sense into that slimy git would be you, but after that Douxie could have his turn.  The thought made you laugh harder.

It only took a minute for both you and Douxie to be on the floor, laughing.  It wasn’t even that funny, but crying from laughter felt a lot better than crying from heartbreak.  Eventually, you picked up the guitar again, but it took a while.  You couldn’t get enough of Douxie’s laugh, and he couldn’t get enough of yours.

Before he walked you home, Douxie grabbed your shoulders, “You know you deserve better than him, right?”

You grinned, wrapping your arms around his waist, “I know.  But it’s nice to hear someone else say it,”

“I’m glad I could be of service,”

You giggled again, still wanting to kiss him.  But you didn’t.  Not yet.

It took you a little while to learn all of Jolene.  Some parts were harder than others, but eventually, you got it.  Douxie had never been prouder.  

After that, you were addicted.  You got Douxie to teach you other songs.  It didn’t take much convincing.  He loved listening to you play.  He loved a lot more than that, and you loved a lot more than the guitar.

It had been a few months since the break-up.  

You were in Douxie’s apartment, Archie curled up by the window, the wizard himself in the kitchen, and you on the couch, trying to get a chord right.  It wasn’t going well.  You groaned loudly, waking Archie.

“You don’t have more questions about pigeons, do you?  Because I told you, I will not be speaking with them again-”

“No, Arch, it’s not that.  It’s just this freaking chord is driving me insane,”

“Ah,” the familiar said, looking between you and the guitar, “I’d help if I had hands.  Good luck, though,”

“Thanks, Arch,”  you returned your focus to the chord, still frustrated.  Then Douxie’s hands were on yours.

“You’ve almost got it, it’s just-”  he adjusted your hands.  As he did, you noticed how close he was, seated behind you on the couch.

“Thank you, Doux.  Not just for this, I mean for everything, you’ve been amazing the past few months, and I-”

“(Y/N), I would do anything for you,”

You turned as much as you could, facing him, “Really?”  you asked, hearing your own smirk in your voice.

Douxie laughed slightly, “Really.  I-”  he bit his lip, driving you more insane than any guitar chord ever could, “I think I love you, (Y/N),”

This was it.

You (finally) kissed him.

And it wasn’t a chore or something that was done to you, it was something you did that you both wanted to do.  It was soft and safe, and it felt good.  It felt like you were loved the way you deserved to be loved.  This was the world and better.

“I love you too, Douxie,”

[buttercupbuck]

I saw what you said in the tags of an ask about season 4 being so strong and then...yeah, I feel the same way. For me, season 4 was all about growth. Like Maddie and Chimney were starting a family together, something both characters have dreamt of since forever, you know, that kind of security; Eddie was learning to move on from Shannon; Buck was going to therapy and trying to get to the root of his issues; and then we had the lingering issue of Athena's attack in her relationship with Bobby, etc. The latter wasn't explored well imo. I adored their argument, it was long overdue and one of my fave scenes but one conversation afterwards was not going to fix their problems. Sure, they talked about the effect of Athena's attack but how about the way Athena feels about Bobby as a recovering addict? It's the first thing she thinks when he's secretive and she admits she doesn't understand his past. The writers started Maddie's ppd storyline in the two final episodes of the season...and then had a time jump at the end 🙃. We've barely heard about Buck's therapy since his parents visited and by the looks of it, it's not going as well as the audience thought since he intentionally put himself in harm's way in the finale. And I've heard that Tim said Eddie getting shot was to build Buck's character and storyline. No wonder the sniper storyline was so underwhelming. Which is truly a disgrace since Ryan puts so much effort and care into Eddie's character. Idk, I just feel like it all started out good and then fell apart truly.

i completely agree! i really hope that we continue to see them work through the issues that were brought up in the argument, because while their scenes together reaffirmed their love and understanding of each other, i don't think that it really resolved the issues still at the core of their marriage? but im also not holding my breath because the writers don't drag things out. even still, it'd be interesting to see him continue to be a sponsor to the driver and how that might affect/develop their relationship.

and yeah, for now i'm trusting that they'll handle maddie's ppd storyline with care, so i'm not trying to despair about that too much yet...and ig we probably would've had a time jump anyway since that's how they always start the season, but still...

and as for eddie, tim can talk out of his ass all he wants but i'm just praying the writers have something else planned for him in s5 that doesn't completely ignore the fact that he got shot (for the second time). im upset we didn't get a recovery storyline but i wasn't really expecting one since they never do that, but just?? don't completely sweep it under the rug?? like are you insane???? if it was purely for buck's development and we don't get to see how it affected eddie at all, idek...like that's genuinely awful

i think the main parts of the finale that felt really satisfying were buck and hen's storylines imo? like with buck, we know he's in therapy and working through his trauma, but it doesn't stop him from falling into the same spirals he used to (and lowkey i appreciate that we still see him having these insecurities, bc it would've felt really untrue if they were just resolved after buck begins), but i did appreciate the moment at the end where something finally gets through to him and he lets himself start to understand that his life matters. and then i loved all of hen's stuff with toni and that moment with evangeline, and it was just such a good cap to this season for her. idk why im saying all this but i just felt like i was being really negative so im just trying to offer some balance ahahha