#I’m happy we met

[itspossibleimadeyiuup]

I take off the hoodie she gave me a few weeks after we met. I’ve had it for months now but once inside out, a wall of text catches my eye. She’s in the room with me, we read it together. I thank her once again for giving me such a sweet gift.

Im happy we met

[sing-me-under]

Every so often, I think about love and my love life.

There’s something compelling about love. I love the idea of love.

Of shared spaces and shared memories, of wanting to be together and wanting to be, of outings and anniversaries and just living life

Of hardships and fights, of the pain and grief that follows heartbreak, of knowing you’re alive and that it was real

And I think about how I idealize this idea of love despite knowing that the reality is far more difficult.

I have been attracted and I’ve had crushes. I’ve fallen in like so many times only to brush it aside when I realize it’ll come to nothing. There’s no point in falling in love with a bad idea.

And I wonder if the problem lies with me. What I tried harder to reach out? What if I tried harder to be approachable? I am confined to the radius I cannot leave. I am confined to time I don’t have. I am trapped in a web of my own making.

I cannot reach out, so I show myself off in hopes that someone else reaches out to me.

And it’s not like it doesn’t work. I’ve made good friends (just three really), and if I lost touch with any of them, I’d always regret it.

But there’s no love there. Not just in the romantic sense, but in the platonic sense too. I adore the place these two people have in my life, but I am ashamed to admit that I’m always distant, too afraid to properly reach out. I try to keep them close, but I know that one day I will lose hold and it’ll drift away once more.

There’s always this little bit of fear at the back of my heart. There’s this like voice that says “They only pretend to like you” and that ever-present fear permeates through my entire being.

I look upon my teenage years fondly. I think of that time with rosier lanes than most. But this time of common outings and sleepovers and group gatherings at the mall and whispered hopes and shouted dreams is tainted by one memory that will haunt me forever.

I look upon my time fondly until I think of this one Memory.

Newly 16, only one person in our friends group could drive. She agreed to pick us all up from our houses at 4, so we could all hang out.

Excited to hang out and all dressed up, I sat in my bedroom with my bag and my shoes and waited. Then 4 hit and a couple minutes passed. I texted my friends with no response.

Then 5 hit and I was worried. Had something happened? Was someone hurt?

Then 6 came and I was scared. Still sitting in my bedroom. Curled up in my bed, shoes long taken off.

And I finally received a reply.

They had forgotten about me.

And all I felt was anger and tears.

And I cried a lot.

I don’t remember what happened next. I can’t remember if I told them to forget about me or if I vengefully guilted them into letting me join. I can’t remember.

I just remember that strong feeling of betrayal.

And I remember thinking “oh, so I was never wanted to begin with”

And the fear kept creeping in.

And I wondered if these people I loved so dearly ever actually wanted me in their life.

And when high school ended, I left. Just close enough to be reachable (not like they ever did). Just far enough to move on.

Not like that worked out well. I could never quit click with anyone the way those people who made up my entire teenage world did.

Now, closer to the age of 22 than 21, there’s only two people I can truly call a friend.

Yet there’s a whole host of people I’ve come to develop attachments to that probably never thought of me again.

Did I make an impact on their lives as much as they made on mine? Did they know that I feel so deeply and appreciate them all to the point where apathetic dissociation is all I have to prevent myself from falling apart?

I used to be a very touchy person. My love language is very much touch and always has been. When was the last time I hugged someone truly and without restraint?

I want to love and be loved. I want to be loved by someone I can love back, and I want to love someone who will love me.

I should try harder to meet people. I should try harder to get a chance. I should try harder to keep them close.

Do they know I’m alone?

March 16, 2022. 1:15AM EST.

[stuckinapril]

i literally have the bestest friends ever. like of all time

[larapaulussen]

[huntmavs]

yeah… so I met the man, the myth and the legend today…

[working-dreamer]

It’s wild how shipping culture has changed so drastically over time on the internet.

In the old days people shipped characters who either had only one line of dialogue with each other, never even met, or not even from the same piece of media. It was the wild west and sure some ships were uncomfortable but people had the mindset to just block the tag and stay away from ships they didn’t enjoy.

Nowadays? It’s more like people have to clarify that their ship isn’t canon compliant, character adjacent, and story irrelevant otherwise they get a flood of comments saying “but this character isn’t like this in canon” and some people legitimately get angry if you’re not following the canon.

Like- shipping and fandom culture from what I understand it is about engaging with media in a way that caters to you. And if you don’t like a ship or show just… block the relevant tags and don’t engage in the ships? The internet isn’t supposed to cater to us- we have to cater ourselves to our internet environment. And no matter how many times people may harass others over a fandom or ship they don’t like, those ships are not gonna disappear.

The internet has just been getting worse when people have decided to place morality in their opinions by saying things like “if you enjoy the ship then you support (insert horrible thing here that’s usually completely unrelated to the ship itself)” when it used to be “eh, not my thing” and people just moved on.

And for the record this isn’t about a specific ship or anything- just an observation of how fandom has evolved (and regressed) over the years and I find it fascinating from a sociological perspective cause we still don’t know how having the internet from birth affects the development of kids and how that affects how they interact with others- isn’t that scary?

I know that’s slightly unrelated but the way people engage in media has been changing over they years and that also involves fandom and the maturity level thereof in the internet space and someone smarter than me could probably write a whole thesis paper about fandom culture and how the internet has hindered the social development of people and how that affects community specifically from a fandom lens.

Just- for your sanity younger internet children: it’s not worth harassing others over something as trivial as ‘it’s not canon that this character kisses another character.’ Just find ships you like. Block ships you don’t. And just enjoy your time doing what you like!

You can’t control the internet but you can nurture your little corner of it.

[taylorrepdetective]

Since you like to say you’re always right, tell us what is next. You say you don’t make predictions, but you actually do, even if you don’t call them that.

Ok so I’m absolutely not always right. There have been some really big things I’ve been wrong about and a lot of small things too. And what I learned from that is to keep an open mind, and when I’m wrong about something, to figure out why I got it wrong and shift my world view in some ways to try to understand and guess better the next time. But it’s not even really about being able to guess. It’s about understanding when things happen. It is fun to be right on a guess though, when that happens.

The biggest thing I’ve learned, and luckily I learned it pretty early on in my time in this space, is that trying to figure out the timing something big will happen is absolutely a fools errand. And another thing to avoid is trying to come up with the exact, specific way Taylor (or others in her cinematic universe) will do something to get a point across. Like I can predict she will try to get a point across (set up a timeline, create a narrative, shore up a brand point) but I cannot predict exactly how or when she’ll do it. I also can predict she’ll set something up but then she never does. That’s because I think of lots of options. Some happen, some don’t. So this is the kind of thing I’m often wrong about. But I see them and always try to present them as options, not predictions. And if one of the options I think of happens, I have already spent time thinking about it, so it already makes sense to me.

I don’t know what’s next. She could drop TS11 at midnight. She could break up with Travis tomorrow, or announce her engagement next week. But I do not think any of those things is likely.

So here’s the closest thing you’ll ever get to me making a specific, timed prediction, because to me it seems quite clear:

What I do think is likely is that her jet will go to KC, ✅she’ll go to the game on Sunday✅, and her jet will then leave KC sometime between next Tuesday✅ and next Thursday. Why? Because it’s a home game, and she likes to go to home games and get the exposure and publicity that comes with that. She is working really hard at becoming an icon in KC, seem like her relationship is very serious for those who want to believe it’s serious, and she wants to shore up that relationship by spending time with him, his family, and his friends (also KC icons - the Mahomes mostly.)✅ All of this is so important to the story she’s creating. However, she won’t stay long ✅because that’s been her pattern. She also seems to be establishing that she also has her own busy, fabulous life✅ (she’s bejeweled and he lets her be✅) and when he’s busy with his football week (generally Tuesday-Sunday) he doesn’t have much time for her and she has her own life.✅This gives her the opposite option of the relationship being very serious. In other words it gives her an easy out for it to end. And Wednesday is her birthday. So she’ll either stay till Tuesday ✅and we’ll see or hear about birthday celebrations Sunday night/Monday, ✅then she’ll head out for further birthday celebrations with her other friends and family✅, or her jet will stay through her birthday, solidifying the seriousness of the relationship. But she will leave KC.✅ And then she’ll probably go to the game on Dec 17 in Boston✅. Why? Because it is a short hop from NYC, she has a huge fanbase there✅ and can expand it and shore it up, the patriots are bad so a win is likely✅, but they are a very popular team, so viewership (publicity) will be high✅. After that? Well she’s likely to spend more time in NYC✅/Nashville. Then she will probably go to the Christmas Day game in KC✅. This is a huge opportunity to “take the relationship to the next level” by spending the holidays together ✅, something the public absolutely loves to see and will further fuel the “engaged by the end of the year, after the Super Bowl at the latest” fire. Hopefully we’ll get something reputation-related for new years❌, so the extra publicity will help with that. Additionally all of this corresponds with the Eras film being released to streaming, another huge money making opportunity for her, and her attendance is an ad for the film.

After the new year, there will be some huge games with high viewership. They will be playing for playoff seeding. Then they almost assuredly will be in the playoffs✅. She will go to those games✅, which have even higher viewership, and will give her more free marketing for reputation and eras movie and anything else we don’t know about. After that, it will depend on how deep they go into the playoffs. They are no longer favored to be in the Super Bowl, but it is still a strong possibility✅. We all now know she can fly across the world after a concert to attend an event (she flew to the US during her time in SA, planned to a second time but couldn’t because of the events in Rio, and flew to London for 24 hrs for bey). The precedent has been set for her to fly from Tokyo to Las Vegas for the Super Bowl. ✅There is no bigger stage than the Super Bowl (outside of the World Cup final, if you’re thinking internationally.) The free marketing potential there is something that would be very hard for her to pass up. And if Travis isn’t playing, Jason’s team might be, and they can go together to support him. Imagine the potential of travlor in a suite together with mama and papa kelce cheering on a retiring Jason❌✅ . And even if neither of them are in the game, they could still all go together and stand in a suite as a big happy family in front of an audience of 115 million Americans. Why wouldn’t she do this?✅

Will all that happen for sure? Of course not. But you can see the logic, right? Will there be other things that happen that I haven’t thought of? Most likely.✅ I don’t actually have a crystal ball. What kinds of things could derail this? Well there’s always the possibility of the black swan, but a more likely scenario is they lose again against a team they should beat✅ and/or Travis has another bad game✅. There is a real danger of people turning on her as a distraction ✅and I think they have their fingers on the pulse of this very closely. As long as KC keeps winning, and there’s a good chance they will win the rest of their games, all will be smooth❌✅.

Also I am not even thinking beyond February. I have one interesting thought about it, but it’s just too speculative to even mention here. But as we move through the next two months, I’ll get clues to be able to guess at what will happen after she goes back on tour after the Super Bowl✅. And if I’m wrong about all of this, which I may very well be because she is notoriously unpredictable sometimes, I will simply take it as a learning opportunity to understand her better.✅

[munamania]

i’m sorry to be so serious (i know you don’t like my long face) but like you don’t understand. i can’t tell if they’re joking first of all but if not. like you don’t get it. you can’t.

[upsidedog]

before she and her mom moved into forest hills, max had a rule about lucas not calling her house, she would call him when she could. and more often than not “when she could” was the middle of the night. lucas was obviously not crazy about this, but he knew enough about max’s home life to figure the slap on the wrist he’d get for one of his friend’s calling late was disproportionate to whatever would happen if neil or billy caught max. max was never caught, lucas’ parents slept through the phone ringing the first two nights, but the third night the ring woke them up and lucas’ nonexistent volume control gave him away. his mom got up to tell lucas to get off the phone, but when she arrived at his door it was immediately clear lucas wasn’t talking to one of his party members. he was audibly nervous and throwing out shy compliments left and right. he called his mystery friend pretty, then apologized a moment after. “oh sorry, how about beautiful? handsome? cool? tubular?” he laughed, they agreed on cool then continued their conversation about video games. he was so respectful and kind and smitten and sue wanted to be upset but honestly couldn’t have been more proud of her son. she just went back to her room and explained it all to charles, they’d have normally been more strict about that sort of behavior but it was so sweet and lucas was such a little gentleman, it reminded them of the start of their relationship, if they’d called him out he’d just get more secretive. so they let it slide, shook their heads and laughed whenever they overheard lucas’ scrambling for the phone at two in the morning, exchanged glances when he alluded to the “cool new girl” he may or may not have liked and when he introduced them to his mystery caller sue cashed in her bet for what her personality would be like. after the summer starcourt mall burned down they stopped hearing ringing in the night, mystery caller stopped showing up around the house, but again, lucas was grown, he would come to them when he was ready.

[mywordsfortheuniverse]

A skill I thought I had long forgotten.

[cybercanadian]

Boys 🙄

[michaelnotwheeler]

I am absolutely fascinated with animatronics, they are literally so amazing!! It’s so cool that all these different people came together and made this life-like thing. It’s just so cool to see how it works, and yeah. I just went on a guilt free (mini) rant.

HOWEVER

You could not PAY ME to go near one :/

They are so fascinating and amazing, but I will never be able to be near one without feeling anxiety and DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED WHEN THEY MALFUNCTION-

[bisexualamy]

I am so deeply blessed to have so many trans people in their 20s and 30s in my life. To hear all of their different coming out and gender journeys and watch them become the people they were meant to be at the time they’re meant to be it. I used to feel so much imposter syndrome about the fact that it took going through nearly all of first puberty to learn that I was trans. That it meant my gender was fake, that the time had passed me by, that it took two years of slowly coming out as nb only then to realize that no, I’m a man, and by then I was 19. 19 is so young. One day 26 will be so young. You have so much time.

[goblingirlpicnic]

I’m gonna marry this woman I swear❤️

[dancedance-resolution]

bisexuality update! today i was getting ice cream and a guy walked in. extremely short, and looked like the type of guy who regularly yells at another guy on the streets of hoboken outside of the local deli about the yankees. and i thought you know what actually i might want to fuck him. !!!!!!!

[crenna]

omg omg my friend that i’m totally not interested in asked if i want to call like just us two sometime (my friend is in another country for a couple months rn) stay calm lili omg