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#I’ve just been feeling really sad lately
igotanidea · 21 hours
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3 minutes: Jason Todd x reader
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Warnings: SMUT MDNI! swearing
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Hey Jason, can I ask you something?
Y/N and Jason were cuddling and kissing on the couch, things started to become a little heated and then, out of the sudden, she got into a questioning mood.
Obviously, Jason wasn’t exactly content with the unexpected shift, but gritting his teeth and fighting the urge to just continue with the steamy make out session, he nodded with the calm expression on his face.
If only she knew how much it took from him to keep it.  
“Sure thing, babe. What’s on your mind?”
“Which girl would you prefer: a skinny, pretty and a little sad, shy one or a little heavier, sassy, funny and energetic one?”
“Well…” he muttered, considering the answer. He was going to be as honest as possible without hurting Y/n’s feelings. “While I suppose initially a pretty girl would get my attention I do like when there’s more depth to people. And sassy humor is pretty much essential for me?”
“Was that a question or an answer?” she teased, catching up with his hesitant tone.
“Don’t you know me? I think that by now you should realize that looks are not everything.”
“Duh!” she chuckled, kissing the tip of his nose playfully “Did you think I was with you cause you are handsome?” she repeated her action “Cause you are not.” The seriousness of her tone was bellied by a grin. “At all.”
“Oh really? And here I thought I was your personal male supermodel.” He laughed wholeheartedly pushing her away as she teased him. “But hey, it’s on the inside what counts. And when it comes to that – you got plenty going on.”
“So I’m like your kinder joy?”
“That’s actually quite an accurate description. Sweet on the inside if you are patient enough to tear through the foil.”
“Wow. Um- I didn’t actually expect you to use such an illustrative comparison….”
“Yeah, that’s me.” He smirked with a face full of complacency. Always in your corner when you are feeling down.”
“Thank you… I guess I’ve been feeling a little insecure lately. Except not the little. And not lately.”
“Good thing you got me here then, huh? Now can we please forget about that and focus on us?”
“Mh. Where were we then?” she whispered seductively leaning forwards brushing her lips over his softly.
“Right where we belong.” He responded by pulling her to him, kissing passionately, trailing lips down her neck, feeling the heat rise again.
“Yeah… Yeah, I think I’m starting to remember something…”
“What do you remember, baby?” Jason whispered against her skin, caressing her shoulder, pulling the strap of her top down.
“Something good…” she hummed, closing eyes and letting him continue his ministrations “Something so good…”
“Care to share?” In a blink of an eye she was laying on the couch on her back, Jason’s hands moving over her belly “or would you rather keep it a secret?” he leaned down nipping at her earlobe.
“Isn't it exciting to know that there are some things that stay just between us...?” She moaned softly, tilting her head and caressing his chest.
“Definitely.” Jason nuzzled his nose into her chest, inhaling her scent “Just you and me having something special.” Once more he captured her lips, tangling fingers in her hair, keeping her head in place, not that she was going anywhere.
The soft sigh that left her lips only aroused him more when he rolled on his back, pulling her with him so she was on top, straddling him.
“And I wouldn’t have it any other way, princess.”
She laid on top of him, her full body weight pressing him into the mattress, tracing hands down his sides, reaching for the hem of his T-shirt. The effect was almost immediate. Jason arched into her touch, his cock hardening at the feel of her fingers on his bare skin.
“You drive me crazy…” he grabbed her waist and pulled her closer, grinding against her, though still in clothes. Regardless, the undeniable need for friction was too much to just lay still. “But I wouldn’t want anyone else doing it to me…”
“I sure as hell hope you wouldn't...” She kissed his neck, grinding her hips on him as well.
“Fuck, I don’t even want to imagine another woman-“ he gripped her hips, continuing the movement.
“Don’t ever mention another woman when we’re together.” She almost hissed, cutting his sentence in the middle, biting on his neck, leaving a hickey and licking the stinging place.
There was no way to deny that her possessiveness and marking the territory attitude only turned him harder.
“I’m not planning on it.” He responded, tangling fingers in her hair, guiding her head lower on his neck. “Besides, I already got the only woman I need.”
“The only one you’ll ever need.” She corrected, raising her gaze on him.
“The only one I’ll ever need…” his tone was hoarse and sultry as he leaned to her again.
Being stopped with Y/N’s grip on his chin.
“Be a good boy and strip for me, will you?” She gave him a look full of fire that left him lost like a little puppy, ready to follow the orders of the owner.
“Well since you asked so nicely—” Y/N moved away from him to give him space to undress and the sudden loss of contact made him almost tear his clothes away. Anything to get her body against him again, not that he was going to let her win this. “But remember, baby, payback’s a bitch…”
“Well then, how about I make it up to you then?”
She slid down, standing on the bed foot, starting to take off her clothing piece by piece. Turning it into a sensual striptease. Tracing her body while removing her shirt, inch by painful inch. Shaking her hips while taking off the skirt. Bending down in a little provocative manner during the removal of her tights.
Almost daring him to make a move on her.
But Jason was hypnotized with her every gesture. Eyes wide with desire, hands clutching the sheets, wanting both to pin her underneath him and to watch this show forever. Evidence of his lust was obvious in his naked body, not that he would ever do much to hide it. If anything – the hardness was rather supposed to be exposed for her to lure her in. 
Nonetheless, Y/N seemed to be lost in the world of her own, continuing her dance. Caressing and playing with her breast before unclasping the bra, sliding it off her body, freeing her chest from confinements, and finally -- sliding down her panties. The moment they both were waiting for, one more than the other.
“Fuck, Y/N…. You do know just how to turn me on, don’t you?”
In response, she crawled to the head of the bed, leaning on all fours, while searching for his lips.
“I can’t get enough of you…” his hands slid down her back, all the way to her butt, kneading the flesh there.
“That’s kind of the plan…”  she pressed her chest to his torso, brushing over him like a wild feline, tracing kisses down his neck, unrestrained by anything.
“Yes, kitten… show me how you want me…” he slapped her ass playfully, one hand kept on palming her butt, while he used the other to start stroking himself.
“Oh now, you’re doing my job for me….?” With a gentle pat, she removed his fingers from his cock and wrapped her own around him.
“Fuck… fuck, Y/N, yes… keep doing that baby….” He groaned, closing eyes and moving against her hand. “Make me yours…”
“You’re going to be a good boy for me?” she stroked him harder, focusing her eyes on him.
“Yes, yes ma’am, I’ll be whatever you want, just don’t stop…”
“Don't worry my pretty baby... I’m not stopping any time soon...” She flicked her thumb over the head of his cock, gathering the pre cum and pulling it to her mouth, licking the droplets with the tip of her tongue.
“So goddamn hot…” Jason groaned from the back of his throat.
“You can touch me too, my little bird…” she whispered in his ear, sliding a little closer to him once more, making it more than obvious where she wanted his touch.
“Like that?” he cupped her breast, letting the familiar weight adjust to his hand. Squeezing and twisting her nipple in a way that made her squirm and gasp for air. The way he knew she liked.”
“Oh yes…”
“That’s right, kitten. You enjoy my touch, cause it’s the only one you’ll ever get for the rest of your life. You’re mine.”
“Fuck, I love it when you get a little possessive.” She placed her hands on his on her chest, showing him to touch her harder.
“And I love it when you get so vulnerable and open with me…”
“Oh I am open.” She smirked, hooking one leg over his hip, straddling him, but not taking in yet “I am so open. And so wet.”
“I can tell.” He grabbed her waist, trying to pull her down, kissing like a wild man, unable to stop even though she kept on pulling away from time to time. Purposefully. To leave him wanting and needy. “Don’t fucking do that, kitten.” He groaned chasing her lips, his tone both a threat and a pleading and with the sudden pressure on her body she knew she would be sporting bruises the other day. “You know exactly what you’re doing to me, don’t you>?”
“Yeah, I do. But don’t worry, I will abuse my power in all the pleasurable ways.” Y/n hummed lifting her hips, hovering mere inches over his shaft.
Jason’s eyes darkened with desire.
“Abuse me all you want. Just … don’t… fucking… stop…  Please…”
“Oh my pretty boy... My heart is breaking seeing you hurting...” She slowly sank to his length. “Is it better now...?” She tenderly brushed hair from his sweaty forehead, observing his eyes falling closed feeling her wrapped around him like that.
“So much better…” he gasped, caressing her back, wanting so much more, but frozen in this moment. He buried face in his hair, breathing in her scent. The smell of her shampoo, the musky aroma of incoming sex and the individual one of her body. Irreplaceable. Hitting all his olfactory sensors, bringing out the feeling of home. She was his home. His everything.  “Y/n….” he whispered “fuck…”
 “Is it warm for my little bird?”
“Yeah, it’s getting warmer, all right. And most of that heat is because of you.” He nibbled on her neck, leaving love bites on the entire length.
“Cause I’m so hot?” she started rocking her hips on him
“You have no fucking idea.” He grabbed her waist and started thrusting forwards with almost extraordinary energy and enthusiasm. “And I fucking love it.”
As the unexpected force of his movement made her jump and stumble forwards, she instinctively reached for his shoulders to find balance and purchase.
“I got you kitten. Hold on tight.” He catches her easily, pulling her down on him easily, digging fingers into her flesh, guiding their movements together. “That’s right. Ride me, kitten.”
One of her hands rested on his shoulder blade, the other on his chest as she picked up the pace. She closed her eyes, throwing her head back, allowing him to control the movements of her hips while thrusting upwards. His eyes were focused solely on the way their bodies unite, making sure to his just the right spot inside her, to make her yearn, burn and shudder with need and pleasure. So fucking beautiful towering over him, lost in the tryst.
Just like him.
There was something erotic about the way she takes him inside to the halt, and then lets him out. Her body opening to him like a wild flower opens to the sun, allowing its warmth and love kisses to caress its petals.
That’s what she meant to him.
She was like a rose – beautiful but not helpless, with thorns.
Like a poppy – vibrant and standing out amongst other flowers on the meadow.
Like a  cherry blossom – magical, soft to the touch but also so ephemeral and fragile if not looked after properly.
He was going to take care of her.
Forever.
“Jason…” she moaned, pressing his head into her chest, running fingers through his hair “Jason…” in the last surge of desire she grabbed his cheeks and looked straight into his eyes.
“Don’t ever stop Y/N—”
“Never-“ she gasped, not breaking eye contact for even a second, seeing the universe in his eyes. “Never-oh!”
As their climaxes approached and hit them like a tsunami wave, bringing the breath of freshness and coolness, but also threatening to wash them off the face of the earth, they held tightly to one another. Like she was his lifeline and he was her rock.
Just like in the biblical parable, that says you cannot build a house on the sand, Jason and Y/N were one’s another solid foundation. A base to build a house on.
For house is not a place, but a person.
Even when he fell back on the bed, exhausted and sweaty, facing the ceiling with mind reeling from love, pleasure and inexplicable need to lock her away from the world, his hold on her waist did not falter for a second. Only now, it was much more tender, softer, though still needy. The irony of the situation was truly textbook. She couldn’t be closer to him and yet, he was still missing her.
After a moment of heavy breathing she climbed off his lap (more like rolled off) and took the rightful spot on the side of the bed, which was hers by design. Even though they were both on their backs, their bodies found a way to one another as she reached for his hand entwining their fingers. Simple gesture, nothing really, and yet amongst lovers sharing true love, if that thing was to ever exist outside of novels, it meant everything.
After a moment, as on cue, they both rolled over to look into each other’s eyes.
“Hi.” She smiled cupping his cheek
“Hi yourself, kitten.” He responded by taking her wrist and kissing her knuckles softly.
“Did you know that statistically the round between couples lasts 3 minutes?”
“Way to ruin the mood with your nonsensical facts, Y/N!”
“it’s not nonsensical. I’m only saying that you are far more than stereotypical to me.”
“Because of how long I can last?” he raised an eyebrow  incredulously, but it was quickly followed by a glint of amusement in his eyes. Despite everything he loved being praised on his performance skills.
“Because of everything-“ she whispered lovingly.
“Oh, stop now.” He grunted, pulling her to his chest, forcing her face down onto his skin so she wouldn’t notice the tears brimming in his eyes. “Otherwise I might think you love me or something.” A single tear escaped his eye at the feeling of being complete.
“I’d hate to implant false beliefs in your head.”
“That would be such a mess, right?”
“How about we keep on cleaning it together?” her soft voice reached his ears, serving as a counterpart for his feigned gruffness.
“Now that doesn’t sound so bad.” He smiled, pulling the covers on their entangled forms, allowing himself to fall asleep, knowing she was there to stay.
A comfort that made him feel warmer than under the blanket.
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undercoverpena · 2 days
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I’m about to get mushy and sweet and grateful so if you’d prefer to skip that, meet my new plant.
june isn’t usually a good mental health month for me.
which sucks cause it’s pride and the sun comes out, but somehow there’s always more grey clouds for me even if the sky is blue.
one year ago, to try and combat it, I began a series that was the most “me” thing I’d shared since coming back to tumblr. a thing which both terrified me—in some ways, helped me find myself again after a slew of bad june’s and bad brain times.
making javi peña fall in love with a girl through texts was like rekindling a relationship with an old version of me from before and allowed me to take that version (and all I’d learnt) forward.
this year, I’ve just wrapped up the final scene of my current series where frankie works in a hardware store. now, it’s not edited, but it’s all written, all of the scenes so I have less pressure each week and all the little moments I’ve envisioned since february are down.
and, understandably, I was sad, but also like really fucking proud? like look at me go. in one year look at how far I’ve come? the stories I’ve managed to tell, the writing I’ve been able to do that not only helps me but has brought smiles to all of you, the lovely people who continue to show up even if I shy, quiet and very anxious.
my usual routine when I finish the draft of a series is to go get cake. a thing I do on the final posting day too.
and while that had been my mission, then I saw this plant.
I kill plants. it isn’t a thing I intend to do, but I do. but this one caught my eye. in a plant plot in a shade that friends often call jo-pink. and I knew that had to be my gift to myself for finishing.
not cake (like usual), not a big iced drink that I’ll love until half way down and then feel sick from, but a plant.
I wanted to call it rainy, but the name didn’t fit. anyone who names plants will know there’s a vibe.
so meet gilbert, or gilly/bertie (we’re still workshopping), and while I water them, and post this and run, thank you, for showing up even though you don’t need to. thank you for bringing a smile to my face on the days it feels really hard.
and thank you for allowing me to have a place that I feel safe to share, because while my brain will create stories, it’s you all showing up that makes it feel safer to get my finger to press the post button each week.
i’m so happy one year ago I shared late night texts, and I’m really happy that today I finished the first draft of do me yourself.
I love you all.
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soft-dollie · 2 days
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vent post!
ive been having a really hard time lately with having the desire to detransition, even though i know im trans. i am a guy and im very comfortable with that, but ever since coming out and starting my (social) transition, i’ve lost friends and family members. its really lonely. i have a high tolerance for being alone, so im not always sad about it, but my younger brother has been having a lot of parties lately and hanging out with his friends, and i guess im jealous.
it sounds kind of lame to be jealous of my younger brother, but i am. he’s cis, and i feel like high school has been so much easier for him because of that. i’m absolutely glad he hasn’t been bullied, i never want that for him! but i can’t help but feel slightly bitter and jealous? although im not always upset about it, it flares up when he has these big parties.
i know i’m trans, i know im a guy, but i do always wish i was cis - female or male, i don’t care - just cis. being trans isn’t something i’m proud of, and although i hope i get there at some point, it’s been really hard trying to navigate high school. i don’t understand how to interact with boys the way that cis boys do, and even though i don’t HAVE to do that, the boys at my school aren’t accepting or very supportive of trans people. so i either have to act like a girl and be miserable, or awkwardly stumble around trying to “act like a cis guy”.
being trans feels like a performance a lot of the time, like i have to put on this weird mask and act like something i don’t understand. it doesn’t help that im autistic either.
logistically i know i would NOT be happier if i detransitioned, but the loneliness gets to me sometimes and i get that compulsion.
i’m not sure if this makes sense 😓, it’s kind of late and i’m having a hard time sorting through everything going on in my life right not.
long story short - high school sucks.
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sturniolo-simp4life · 18 hours
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Hard to say- pt. 3
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overview- you and the sturniolo’s have been best friends since you remember, but you’ve always had a thing for Matt. When a new girl, Abby, moves into town, things between you and Matt change.
warnings- crying and a little angst.
pt.2 pt.4
it’s been about a month since Abby came to the school. Somehow her and Matt have become closer.
thankfully Chris had been there to comfort you. He would say ‘he’ll come to his senses eventually,’ or ‘he doesn’t know what he’s missing out on.’
but did he really?
Like, Abby was looked like a goddess in human form. You couldn’t blame Matt if he did like her.
still, the thought of the two of them together made your stomach clench.
-
You were at the triplets house right now. You and Chris were supposed to have a ‘study session.’
you knocked on the door and Matt answered. “Oh hey y/n.”
“hey,” you said. “Is Chris home?”
Matt tensed a bit at Chris’s name but you didn’t notice. “Yeah he is. Come in.”
“Chris y/n is here!” Matt yelled. You sat on the couch. “Why don’t we study together anymore?” He asked.
You shrugged. “These days you’re always with Abby. Whenever we make plans you always just blow me off.”
Matt felt bad after hearing this. “I’m sorry,” he muttered. You shrugged again. “I’ve gotten used to it.”
“So… you’ve been hanging out with Chris a lot lately.” You smiled at his name.
“I mean yeah. He is one of my best friends after all.” Matt’s heart sank a little. Did you even still consider him as a close friend anymore?
“Hey y/n/n!” You looked up to see Chris grinning at you. “Hey Chris. You ready?” “Yeah let’s go to my room.”
you got up. “Nice talking to you Matt.”
you sighed as you entered Chris’s room. “I’m not sure if I can do this anymore Chris. At this point he doesn’t even know he’s avoiding me. It’s like Abby has him on an invisible chokehold.”
Chris gave you a sad look. “I’m sorry y/n. I wish he would open his eyes and see the amazing person you are.”
you sighed and shrugged. “There not much that can be done now. Now, where is your science notebook?”
-
when you got back to your apartment, you saw your mom sleeping on the couch.
after your dad died, she had made sure to work extra hard to provide for both of you. She was your true best friend.
she would always listen to your problems and help you solve them. She deserved a break.
you kissed her forehead and walked to your room.
-
when you walked into English the next day, you already saw Matt and Abby laughing about something.
you decided to expand your social boundaries and sit with someone new today.
you scanned the classroom until your eyes landed on a boy looking at his computer with an EarPod in.
you walked over to the desk and sat down next to him. He glanced up at you, a little confused.
“um, I’m just gonna sit here today. Is that okay?” You asked. “He just shrugged. “Do want you want, I don’t care.” He went back to watching his screen.
you couldn’t help but look at it. “Are you watching bridgerton? I love that show.”
He looked up at you and smiled. “Really? I just started watching it recently.”
“oh,” you said. “What season are you on?” “Season one. Episode 4 to be exact.”
“oooh. You have a long way to go.” He chuckled in response. “Y’know, I haven’t seen that many guys watch bridgerton.”
he shrugged. “I don’t know. I like it.” You laughed. “What’s your name?” “Logan. Yours?” “Y/n.” “Y/n..” he repeated. “I like that name.”
“thanks.”
you and Logan continued to laugh the rest of class period, gaining attention from Matt. He felt jealously bubble in his stomach.
You didn’t laugh that way around him anymore.
he shook the thought from his head. Why was he thinking about you so much all of a sudden?
“I feel like we have other classes together,” Logan said. “Yeah me too.. I think we have this class, history and science together?”
“yeah that’s it.” The bell rang. “I’ll see in our other classes, yeah?” You smiled at him. “Yeah.”
-
in Math, you were sitting with ally. Abby and Matt were sitting at another table.
“Matt, I have something to tell you,” Abby said. “What?” He asked curiously.
“it’s about y/n.”
his eyes widened slightly. “What is it.” She hesitated a little before speaking. “I’ve heard her talking to a guy in the hallway the other day… apparently she pays guys for sex.”
Matt’s eyes widened. “W-what?” “It’s true,” she continued. “That day she was practically begging the guy to fuck her. Apparently she’s done it with a lot of guys in this grade.”
Matt was still in shock. Y/n wouldn’t do that. Would she? “I mean, she has been acting kind of distant lately..” he trailed off.
Abby shrugged and glanced at you. “I just wanted you to know.”
-
“hey guys,” you said as you approached your usual lunch table. You were met with hi’s and waves.
you sat down across from Matt. “Hey Matt did you get the notes in math?”
he didn’t even look up to acknowledge you. “Matt?”
“what,” he snapped. The blinked at him. “Are you okay?”
he huffed. “Can we talk in private please?” “Okay…” you said a little unsure.
you followed him into an empty hallway.
“Matt what’s wrong?”
he sighed and shook his head. “Abby told me that you pay guys for sex. How long y/n? How long have you been doing this?”
your eyes widened. “I would never do that Matt! You should know this.”
“Should I?” He asked. “It makes sense- you have been pretty distant lately.”
you laughed in shock. “I’ve been distant? You’re the one who spends every second of your time with Abby.”
Matt just rolled his eyes. “You know that I’ll only have sex with the person i love. I’ve told you this!”
Matt just scoffed. “are you saying that Abby is lying?” “Yes I’m saying that. Who are you gonna believe? Someone you’ve known all your life or some girl you meant less than 2 months?”
Matt paused for a second. He had only known Abby for a short while, but he should believe her, right?
“I don’t think we should be friends anymore y/n.”
that was enough to crack your heart. Tears started rolling down your cheeks before you could even comprehend it.
Matt looked hurt for a second, but he just walked away from you, leaving you to slide down the wall, holding in your sobs.
-
the rest of the day was blur.
when you got back to your apartment, your mom was on the couch watching something.
“Hey sweetie!” she said. “How was your day?”
that was enough for you to start crying again. A look of concern washed over her face as she got up and hugged you.
She led you to the couch where you cried on her should. “Don’t cry sweetie.” She hushed you and patted your hair.
she waited for you to calm down a bit before talking. “Let me guess- it has something to do with Matt and Abby?”
you sniffed and nodded your head. She cursed under her breath.
“that bitch,” she mumbled. “Mom!” You laughed. “Don’t tell her I said that. Anyways, wanna tell me what happened?”
you sighed. “Abby made some rumor about me and she told Matt. Apparently he’d rather believe her than someone he’s known his whole life.” Your mom frowned.
“listen y/n. If he can’t see the amazing person in front of him then he’s not worth it. Trust me, he’s going to see it one day.”
“thanks mom,” you said. She kissed your forehead. “Any day. Anyways, legally blonde and popcorn?”
you grinned. “Always.”
tags- v4mp1r3c4t sturniololvrrr sturnssan blahbel668 arleanka futuristicladywonderland iloveneilperry sturnstvr jetaimevous britishamerican11 alicejwebster sturnsforlife ldrloverrrrrr
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humblebumble001 · 11 months
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youtube
This song makes me cry every time.😭💔
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ropebuny · 6 months
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I want a dad so bad I’m going to cry and throw a tantrum. I don’t want to be an adult, I want to stop thinking and be taken care of like a kid & feel safe and cared for again
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fakeoutbf · 13 days
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five stages of grief but it’s five stages of social anxiety
#walk with me#this morning i got a bouquet delivered to me at work randomly out of nowhere#the note basically said that i could count of the person even if for just some words of advice or a gesture that could make me laugh or mad#count on the person**#i immediately knew it’s from one of my coworkers and ngl i have a very charged?? relationship with them#in the sense that it’s very intense and we can be laughing joking and teasing or we can be really angry and pissed with each other#it can have very extreme emotions even if we just chill most of the time#idk why i think this whole year i’ve been leaning on them more?? and we started texting more often too#so we’ve been more properly friends lately#and for one i was SO EMBARRASSED for getting flowers bc my coworkers tease the shit out of everyone myself included and i’m not used to#gestures like that so obviously they were on my ass all day about it#and everyone asked about them and it’s EMBARRASSING to get that much attention#(me: i wanna be a singer / also me: can’t stand to be the center of attention)#anyway the person that sent them avoided me yesterday out of nowhere??? idk if they thought i was mad bc i didn’t reply to their texts all#weekend but i literally never reply to anyone and pms was a bitch and i just wanted to be alone#so they didn’t talk to me on monday i was mostly just working listening to music bc i was still emotional whatever#and today i did talk to my other coworkers bc it’s the day when my favorite coworker comes in and i talk to them a lot so i engaged more#and they were still ignoring me and then the flowers came in and we didn’t say a single word to each other today we just texted#they told me they sent them and that ‘they forgot’ what they sent and that it was just meant to be a nice gesture#and that bc they wanted to ‘surprise’ me and make me feel better bc i said i was sad at one point?? idek#i literally just want to tell them I HAD PMS ITS FINE I FEEL SUICIDAL ALL THE TIME and move on#bc now i’m second guessing everything they’re saying bc i thought we were friends and there’s no reason why friends can’t send each other#flowers or whatever but they’ve been avoiding me and then they keep answering my texts really weirdly and i always misinterpret flirting bc#i’m never outright romantic with anyone?? plus we’re FRIENDS i should have no reason to think that’s changed#but they’re being so weird and why get me FLOWERS??? idk get me a chocolate or a coffee i don’t NEED flowers#and then i said it was random to give me flowers out of nowhere and they’re like no it’s serious bro what’s serious??????#your feelings towards me?? or just your will to cheer me up???#if they don’t reply straight up in their next texts i’m gonna flat out say but it was a platonic gesture right???#so yeah i’m overthink getting flowers bc what’s the social code for that and what is one supposed to do when they get flowers from a friend#delivered to their joint workplace where everyone can see them and think they’re from a partner or something
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werewolfoffeverswamp · 10 months
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there’s something so alluring about the idea of living in a perpetual horror movie to me. like a time loop. specifically a paranormal one where you could never make it out alive. in the same sense of “heaven is a place where nothing really happens” (from the talking heads song Heaven), being trapped in a story where there’s only one ending and you suffer through whatever horrors are laid out for you (but they are laid out exactly as they are and always will be, and they are laid out for YOU) sounds like. morbidly peaceful. no need to worry what happens next, you already know. and you’ve done it a hundred times. of course you’re in pain but it’s intimately familiar and maybe you don’t even register your suffering anymore. and you’re not preoccupied by your performance in this dance anymore either— it feels like whatever you do, the same events occur, but you’re an actor in a story and you never had free will to begin with. anyways. it just sounds kind of nice 👍
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mymelodyisme · 1 month
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Happy Tuesday 😭 my tumby hurt
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sandinthepipes · 9 months
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No but hear me out. Because good omens and ofmd are fulfilling basically everything that they need to, I’m LOVING aus.
I’ve never liked alternative universe or headcanons that were too far out of the canon compliant because i needed the basics to be fully accomplished first. I needed fiction to fix and complete what canon didn’t so I read mostly canon compliant, but that need was never getting filled because canon still wasn’t fixed, no matter what.
Now? Oh baby I’m having the time of my life. For the first time in my life I get what you all saw in flower/coffee shop au long ago. IT’S EXHILARATING. I feel like this is too much power, I’m never gonna stop.
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goldeneclipsee · 2 months
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I’ve become afraid of death. which is actually improvement for someone who was suicidal but also. scary :(
this is all your faults /pos /pos /pos-
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floral-hex · 3 months
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woke up at 4am feeling the weight of my life crushing me, so I’ve been sitting out in my car for the last couple of hours because I just need. to. be. somewhere else.
#tumblr ate something like this but I think I deserve to shout uselessly into the void#shits rough dawg#I know it’s rough for everyone. I feel shitty even talking about myself. still… compelled to vent… big butts#haven’t really been on here much since it hasn’t really scratched that itch lately & just makes me feel lonelier#it’s cold#saw the Jazzercise studio open across the street. 5am for Jazzercise? wow. early.#and then everyone left an hour and a half later. lights out. everybody gone. weird schedule. I am perplexed.#went down the road and got a soda and I’ve been sitting in my driveway contemplating for the last 2.5 hours#guy at the gas station tried to talk to me but I just half assed a smile and nod and left#even though I know I’d love to just… talk to someone. I suppose it has to be ‘on my terms’ whatever those are#I miss having a therapist. or even just when my little brothers would talk to me. when anyone would. blegh#my insurance is still a mess and I’m about to run out of one of my blood pressure meds this week#maybe I’ll have a stroke. scary to think about. I think about dying a lot but that potential feels too real. just… pop! and I’m done.#I’ll try today to finally push to straighten it out but everything feels daunting#woke up with so much anxiety. about my health. my hearing. no money. my life. had to get out of the house even if it’s just right outside#hate to say it but I need(want) thc. haven’t wanted to spend money on it but I could have really used it this morning#can’t be sad if you can’t feel anything (jokingly but also not. whichever is less sad sounding)#actually treated myself to Dune 2 last week and it was so so good. wish I could go again. but it’s drugs food or movie right now. so…#I know. dumb priority but BIG SCREEN. maybe it’ll hit theaters again for the next awards season hopefully. just a real nice loud experience#anyway… I should go inside. almost 7am. need to take my brothers to school then drive my mom to her daily appointments#I’ve felt so hollow and angry and sad for so long it feels like. I feels so weak and sad and I’m tired of it. I’m so tired.#I’ve been eating about 1 meal a day and sleeping a lot. this is the worst my body has ever been. I feel like I’m just waiting to die.#is this relatable?#just have to look past it. it is nothing. this body is nothing. just enjoy your soda.#gonna look at pictures of butts now#ok gotta go I love you goodbye forever#you can ignore this#text
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hannahhasafact · 5 months
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I truly hate all of my art right now including the thing I’m currently working on, but damn it I’m still going to finish it and post it because the concept is cute to me and maybe other people will also think the concept is cute
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stargirlrchive · 6 months
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rosicheeks · 23 days
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4:35 and I'm thinking about putting a baby in a certain sexy Tumblr mutual
👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀
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spinetacks · 3 months
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3am feelings be gone into tags 🚮
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