#I'm glad that the first chapter is finally done though

[dangus-doo]

Quickswitch Chapter 1

[emberuby]

in your arms forever — chapter two. | p.js

chapter one | series masterlist | chapter three.

pairing: park jongseong x fem reader

chapter summary: you fully accepted your love for jay, and you two lived in quiet bliss in the background of your family drama. your love did not falter even when your dear sister came to visit you and tell you what a danger you put yourself in by falling for him. little did karina know, the danger never lied with jay but instead with his corrupt staff. a horrible and dangerous revelation will make jay question your entire relationship.

warnings: somnophilia, oral (m and f receiving), unprotected sex, creampie, mentions of semi-public sex, vaginal sex, jay is insanely horny all the time, heavy breeding kink, dark content, brief depiction of sexual harassment, heavy angst, betrayal, some fluff in the beginning, toxic and possessive jay, violent content, blood, murder, blood covered sex, hard dom! jay, sub! reader, mentions of body weight.

taglist: @nshmrarki, @strxwbloody, @anittamaxwynnn, @heeheeyeoiizz01, @star4rin, @yohanabanana, @lilyuwon, @delvziion, @tinyteezer, @partiallyderived, @liebe-love, @honeybunnee, @tmtxtf

note: yes the title of this fic is based on a shower sex scene, what about it? anyway, i'm glad i was finally able to get this done. i will be taking a break until the third and last chapter to write a few wips i wanted to work on, but the third chapter and epilogue is already mostly mapped out. ~ feedback is greatly encouraged and always feel free to ask questions ^^

wc: 14k

That night, you slept peacefully and dreamt of your future with Jay. While in reality, your future was nowhere near as certain, in your fantasy world, the two of you moved into a smaller estate outside the city, where it was quiet, natural and felt like home. 

You were looking out the window, and you saw two children running around in the yard playing tag. The taller one was a girl, who looked so much like Jay, and the shorter one, who looked like he had just barely begun walking, still resembled his father more than he did you. You found that amusing, just how strong Jay’s genes were that your children looked barely like you. You wouldn’t mind it though, considering you thought of him as one of the most beautiful creatures to ever grace your life. 

Just like that, your fantasy began to shift. You were transported to the dining table, a glass of pink champagne in your hand, but just as you were about to take a sip, your husband grabbed it out of your grasp and spilt the contents of it into the sink. His eyes darkened and he furrowed his brows. He threw the glass onto the ground and you heard the sound of it shattering erupt on the wooden floors. 

You winced as you felt a shard of glass slice you on the shoulder and you began bleeding out. Doubling over, you grasped your shoulder, letting out a sob of pain. Jay immediately bent down and cradled your head. “I’m so sorry, my love. Fuck. I’m so fucking sorry. Please, please let me make it okay. Please forgive me.” He was sobbing now, holding onto you so tightly you began to feel dizzy.

Your fantasy faded away as you slowly regained consciousness. At first, you were highly confused about what the wet feeling was on your inner thighs. You felt soft but strong hands gripping your flesh, spreading your legs open. The figure started gently lapping at your clit with his clit and it felt like bliss all over again. Your mouth flew open before your eyes could, and you gasped as you felt the pre-orgasm tingles running up your spine. 

Your pussy was sensitive from last night, so when your eyes fluttered open to see Jay leaning over your cunt and eyes boring into you, you whined pathetically, “B-Baby…Please, I-I’m really…really sensitive.”

Jay halted his movements but didn’t stand up, instead smirking at you and peppering a few kisses onto your inner thighs, “I know I should probably pace myself, but you’re so irresistible. I couldn’t help it, after I got a taste of your pussy last night it’s all I’ve been thinking of.”

Your face heated up at his crude words, and you put your palms over your face to hide your embarrassment, “Don’t say things like that, Jay.”

Jay chuckled and released one of his hands from your hips and intertwined his fingers with yours, “No need to be shy. I’m just being honest, and communication is everything in a marriage, right?”

A marriage. So that’s what you two are now. You were a real couple. It only made sense. You loved each other and you were wearing his ring. I mean, for fuck’s sake, he almost got you pregnant last night, so it didn’t make sense for you to deny it any longer. You were Park Jongseong’s wife now. 

“Yes, you are,” you heard Jay whisper. Your eyebrows raised in surprise, and he grinned at your adorable reaction, “I guess you didn’t mean to speak your thoughts out loud.” 

You shook your head, “I’m just trying to process all of this. It’s a lot.”

Jay hummed in response, rubbing his thumb over your hand. You felt comfortable just being like that until Jay abruptly tightened his grip on your thigh and plunged his tongue back into your sopping wet cunt. Your mouth flew open again and you arched your back off the mattress, your head becoming light and dizzy. Your whole body ached, especially your cunt

Mixed in with your moans of pleasure were sobs from how overwhelmed you were, “Baby…Jay, please…p-please slow down,” your hand reached down to grip at his hair, hoping to maybe control his movements. That didn’t work though, as Jay interpreted it as a sign to go even deeper. He inserted two fingers into your sopping hole and continued licking your clit, incredibly precise with his movements.  

The pleasure was getting to your head and you began fluttering your eyes closed. You felt a harsh sting to your left thigh as Jay spanked it, and you screeched.

“No, open your eyes,” he warned. He went deeper into your pussy with his fingers, and you became flustered at the wet noises your cunt was making every time he’d entered you.

You refused, closing your eyes even tighter, feeling your eyes well up with tears, “I-It’s t-too…,” you paused to breathe, “It’s too much!” You yelped when he curled his fingers inside you, hitting your sensitive spot.

You felt another harsh slap on your thigh, making you wince. He said in a threatening tone, “Open your eyes and watch yourself cum in my mouth. I’m not asking.”

You weakly opened your eyes and were allured by how dark and mesmerising his expression was. While you were struggling to compose yourself, Jay looked as if he was just doing his job, and he was a professional at it. It made you fantasise about what it would be like to suck his cock, and if he’d be so dishevelled as you were right now.

The feeling of his tongue and fingers inside you was becoming mind-breaking and you felt like you were going to ascend. 

Jay enjoyed the knowledge of his effect on your body. To be fair, you were incredibly sore from yesterday, your body adorned with purple love bites he left on you and your voice hoarse from the noises of pleasure. You were bound to be more reactive because of your exhaustion. With that being said, he loved how little effort it took him for you to be lying beneath him like this, withering like a leaf, glistening with sweat and glowing from the inside out. 

You felt the pressure begin to rise in your tummy, knowing that at any moment you would fall over the edge. 

“You’re so gorgeous,” Jay beamed.

“Baby, I’m go-going to…c-cum,” you cried out, much to Jay’s approval. He didn’t say anything, instead quickening the pace of his fingers and tongue. You could only see the top of his head now, as he was bent over and eating you out as a man stared. 

You saw specks of white as your climax washed over you, and your hands were clawing at the pillows lying underneath your head. The fat teardrops were streaming down your face and your jaw became unhinged as you cried out, “Fuck, Jay! B-Baby…Please d-don’t stop.”

He fingered you through your orgasm, helping you come down from it by gradually lowering his pace, “You’re so beautiful when you cum. I should keep you in my bed forever,” he was facing you now and his mouth was glistening with your arousal.  

Your chest rose and fell as you struggled to catch your breath, “We should be more productive in the mornings, Jay."

“How was that not productive? I mean, we have an heir to make,” his eyebrows quirked up and his lips curled in a mischievous smile. 

“I don’t know what school you went to, but eating me out isn’t going to get me pregnant.”

He was now lying beside you, his hand pulling up the covers to help warm you up, “Haven’t you heard? The semen is stored in the spit.”

“That is an absolutely batshit crazy thing to say at nine in the morning,” you threw a pillow at his face. He erupted in a fit of laughter and leaned down to pepper kisses on your cheeks, making you giggle and squirm. 

“It’s noon, my love. You were out of it for a while.”

Your eyes flew open in shock. That means you’ve been asleep for well over ten hours. Getting fucked by Jay has exhausted you enough to fix your broken sleeping schedule. You haven’t gotten a decent sleep ever since you moved in, and even before that you had frequent insomnia, so the fact that you were able to get a full night’s rest and then some was delighting you. “Well, how long have you been awake?” You asked. 

“Honestly, I couldn’t get much,” he laid his head in between your breasts. You were quite ticklish to the feeling of his hair brushing on your chest, but you didn’t say anything and just began running your fingers through it. 

“Why is that?”

“You told me you loved me, Y/N. Any man would go sleepless.”

You suppose you did, however, you didn’t expect him to be so affected by it. You brushed the hair from his forehead and asked, “Do you?”

“Do I what?”

“Do you love me back?”

“There must be nothing in that beautiful head of yours if you need to ask me that. I’ve been in love with you for a very long time,” he chuckled. He pressed a kiss to your breast and began squeezing it like it was some stress ball. You were amused at how nonchalant he was about it like it wasn’t turning you on all over again. 

“How long? I mean we barely met a month ago.”

Jay fell silent for a few moments. He suddenly felt a wave of guilt come over him as he realised how little you truly knew about him compared to how much he knew about you. He couldn’t tell you that he’s been practically stalking you for the past two years, but he already has been revealing things that his mother would have killed him for telling you. He decided to tell you the half-truth, “We met before.”

“Yeah, at events and stuff, but we’ve never talked before that.”

He shook his head, “I’m quite offended you forgot about our meet cute, my love. Three years ago, at the New Year’s Gala.” You raised your eyebrow, not recalling what he was talking about. He pressed another kiss on your skin and continued, “I found you crying outside of the venue. You told me you got into a fight with your boyfriend.”

It suddenly all flashed back. The dim lights of the hallway surrounding the gala venue, your ruined make-up, your crying so intense you could barely breathe. You may or may not have been a bit intoxicated. It wasn’t clear to you what exactly that fight with Sunghoon was about, but all you were certain of was that he was going to break up with you. 

You were so messed up that night that you buried the memories in the back of your mind, quickly dismissing them after Sunghoon apologised and took you back into his arms. 

Jay knew from your silence you were thinking about Sunghoon, and his annoyance and jealousy led him to flick your nipple, making you yelp.

“Ow! What was that for?” You responded by flicking him on the forehead, however, disappointed at his lack of reaction. 

“Nothing,” he mumbled, pressing his face back into your chest. You rolled your eyes. You couldn’t believe how he was acting like a baby as if it wasn’t he who mentioned your ex. 

“Wait so, is that when you started liking me? That’s like three years, and you didn’t say anything? Didn’t you have a girlfriend—,” You were stopped when you felt Jay’s finger pressed up against your lips.

“Shh, let’s not talk about that,” he whispered. You giggled at his action, even as he continued, “And she wasn’t my girlfriend. Just someone who refused to leave me alone.”

That made you happy for some reason. You didn’t think of yourself as jealous or possessive but you grinned with the new-found knowledge that he fell for you so quickly and couldn’t care less about the women following him around.

He placed one final kiss on your breast and stood up from the bed, stretching his arm out for you, “We should go take a shower.”

You looked at his hand with suspicion etched on your face, amusing Jay. “We should just go shower, right?”

Jay smirked at your insinuation, rubbing his hands over his face to try to hide his expression, “I just need to wash you up, I didn’t get the chance to yesterday since you were so out of it.”

“I can wash myself,” you said stubbornly. You had an inkling that Jay would pounce on you the moment he got you into the shower, given how many hours it took for him to be satisfied last night. The look in his eyes alone screamed insatiable. Your body however was too sensitive and you wanted to give your poor pussy a break from his abuse.

“Alright, then stand up,” he ordered. His menacing smirk was pissing you off, and you were determined to prove him wrong. You shakily climbed towards the edge of the bed, barely being able to balance yourself on your arms, unaware of how much Jay’s cock hardened at the sight of you crawling towards him with your naked and love-mark-covered body. 

You managed to stand up on wobbly legs, a pain shooting up your body at the awkward movements. You looked up towards Jay’s eyes, annoyed that his smirk was still there. “Now walk,” he added, and you felt yourself become wet at his stern and dominating tone.

You were nervous about your ability to do so but tried not to show it on your face. You took one step and you began to fall, too weak and shaky to make it any further. You didn’t hit the ground due to Jay grabbing you up by the waist. He picked you up in a princess style and you wrapped your arms around his shoulder, giving up your ambitions and accepting that you’d need his help.

“Fine, fine…We can shower together. Just shower though, you know I’m exhausted” you scolded him.

He smiled at you, placing a peck on your lips, “Just shower,” he agreed.

“You promise?” You looked up at him with your lovely and hypnotising eyes. 

He nodded back, “I promise, my love.”

He lied. Obviously. You were an absolute fool for believing him. 

The steam of the hot water was fogging up the glass of the shower door, as well as making it hard for you to properly think. Jay had you bent over, palms and tits pressed up against the cold glass. Your whines and the sound of your skin slapping were loud as he pounded into your cunt from behind you, and you were dizzy at the feeling of his cock splitting you open and the water hitting your back. You could feel the tip almost hitting your cervix. He was pounding inside you with no mercy. 

“Doesn’t this remind you of yesterday? When I took you in the rain,” Jay boasted. You couldn’t bring yourself to respond, but you agreed. This was much better though, given the water was warm and you weren’t afraid of someone catching you in the act. 

He reached forward to begin playing with your clit, causing a whimper to erupt from your mouth, “J-Jay. Slow down, ‘m gonna c-cum…” 

“So quickly? We just started, my love, surely you can hold out for longer,” he chuckled, fastening his pace on your clit and gripping tighter at your hips.

You sobbed out in pleasure, shaking your head, indicating that you aren’t going to be able to hold it in and will cum at any moment, especially with the stimulation from your clit as well as the inside of your cunt.

You heard him tsk behind you, and he began slowing his movement, eventually coming to a halt. You whined, “No…please, Jay. Please, let me cum.”

He harshly spanked your ass, making you hiss, “Didn’t you just tell me to slow down? Have I fucked you so dumb you can’t even make up your mind?”

You felt tears streaming down your face at the sudden loss of friction and pleasure, your cunt clenching painfully on his still cock. You subconsciously started moving your hips up and down on his length, trying to relieve your needs yourself, before Jay grabbed you by your neck and pushed your back flush against his chest. 

You felt him strike you again on your hip, hissing at the soreness of your skin, “Fuck, you’re such a desperate whore. Would you even be able to live without my cock?”

He used one hand to grip your waist, halting your bouncing on his cock. You shook your head, knowing that he had now ruined you for any other person, and you couldn’t imagine a life without him anymore.

“Answer me,” he tightened his grip on your waist. You, however, were far too disoriented to reply to him, given his fingers wrapped around your throat, the feeling of his skin on your back, the steam and the hot water hitting your body and his cock still deep inside you. You incoherently babbled something back to him.

You wailed again as he bent you over once more and thrust his cock back inside you. Your insides felt like they were on fire. Your hands began to shake and your palms slipped down from the glass, so you reached behind you to grip Jay’s biceps. 

“Tell me, Y/N. Tell me how much you love my cock. Tell me you could never live without me.”

You nodded weakly, “Yes, b-baby. F-Fuck, I love y-your…your cock! You’re it f-for me.”

You couldn’t see him, but you were sure he was smirking to himself at your words. He placed a kiss on the back of your head as a thank-you. 

“You can cum now, my love.”

Your eyes rolled back and your legs started shaking as you felt yourself cum around his cock. Jay wrapped his arms around to help steady you and groaned at the feeling of your clenching cunt. He came a few moments afterwards, mind melting at the feeling of you milking him dry.

You were in bliss at the feeling of his warm cum spilling inside you, filling you to the brim. You wished you were facing him so could kiss him and thank him for making you feel so good. You loved him immensely and wished you could be like this for eternity. Forever in his arms, just like this. 

“Don’t let a single drop go to waste, okay?”

You weren’t sure how you were going to do that, given you already felt some of it spilling out of you, but you nodded nonetheless. 

The next few moments were a blur. Jay washed you up. It was quite a weird experience getting shampooed with a dick inside you, but your mind was far too hazy to care. 

You then remember sitting on the bathroom sink as Jay wrapped you around in a towel, drying your hair and skin, making sure to go slowly and softly to not overwhelm you. He picked you up and brought you back to your bedroom.

He grabbed a body moisturiser from the nightstand and began rubbing your body with it. He wanted to help relax your muscles, soothing away the soreness that resulted from yesterday’s activities. 

He messages the lotion onto your legs, trailing up to your abdomen, and then finally to your breasts. You began to notice he had a weird fixation on your tits. He was palming at them, taking a longer time than he did with the rest of your body. When you looked at his face, you felt amused at the look of seriousness on it, as if he were taking a final exam.

“Jay, I swear if you’re getting hard over this I will—”

“I’m not, I promise,” he grinned childishly, “They’re just so fun to play with, can you blame me?”

You lifted your foot and placed the sole of it on his crotch, feeling how it was getting hard and stiff. You murmured, “You lying bastard.” 

Technically speaking, he was an actual bastard, but Jay decided not to make that comment. He instead threw his head back to laugh, “Okay, okay, I lied. I swear I’ll leave you alone this time. Just let me massage you, so you won’t be so sore later.”

“Alright then, go ahead.”

You laid there as he kept massaging you. He was so gentle with you, completely in contrast with how he was earlier. It was as if he thought you’d break if he was pressed any harder. The way he held you was incredibly intimate, making you feel warm inside. He looked so beautiful. You didn’t feel any sort of discomfort at being bare and vulnerable in front of him, instead you felt completely safe.

You raised your hands to try to brush his hair away from his face, but he pushed it away, telling you, “Relax, my love. Please.”

You obliged, letting him have his way with you.

It was the first time you and Jay sat together in the dining room. The space was devoid of any staff, as they left after serving your lunch. You were quiet, looking down worriedly at your food.

“Why aren’t you eating, my love? Do you not like it?” Jay voiced, reaching over to grab your hand.

You shook your head embarrassingly, “I just…I feel like the staff is ignoring me. When I walked here, none of them even looked at me.” You were aware that the servants generally didn’t acknowledge you much, but they never looked so flustered around you as they did today.

Jay threw his head and began laughing loudly, making you even more embarrassed, “I guess you weren’t quiet enough, but who can blame you? I’m amazing in bed.”

“Jay, I will throw this tomato at you,” You fumed, your eyebrows furrowing in a way that made Jay gush at how adorable you looked. He couldn’t stop laughing after you put your face into your palms and groaned. 

“Y/N, it’s fine. They’re probably surprised at your change of heart since you’ve been treating me like the plague for all of last month,” He had a point, but you still felt ashamed that the poor staff had to witness your blaring sex noises. 

Jay on the other hand wasn’t feeling nearly as sorry. Most of the staff staying late into the night were the guards, and he knew a few of them to share unsavoury glances towards you, especially your personal guard, Marco. They made it disgustingly obvious how much they would take you if you were to give them the chance. 

He smirked at the thought of them having to hear all your noises throughout the odd hours of the night, not being able to do anything about it. That should teach them to never look or breathe your way unless necessary. He placed a kiss on your knuckles and decided to change the subject to help distract you from your embarrassment, “What do you think about having your sister come over?”

Your eyes lit up. Gods, you missed Karina. It was killing you to not know how she was doing, “Yes! Please! Let’s have her over for dinner tonight, yeah? Oh Gods, I missed her so much,” you slapped your palms together and squealed. 

Although your mind was mostly preoccupied with Jay, you never forgot how you didn’t get to bid farewell to your sister because she was on a trip during the whole moving process. You were sure she was distressed with not knowing how you were or how to reach you.

“I’ll go call her then,” Jay smiled at you and left the room to go find his phone. Jay thought it’d be better to call her as soon as possible given how long the drive is from your former family home to his. He, however, wasn’t looking forward to the conversation.

“Park Jongseong?! Oh, you have a lot of audacity calling me now. You steal my fucking sister in the middle of the night and now you’re calling me acting like nothing happened? Where is my sister?! I will kill you, motherfucker!” Karina was belting so loudly that Jay had to stretch his arm out to not burst his eardrums. 

He sighed and rolled his eyes, very much expecting this reaction from her. Karina was known for her protective nature when it came to her little sister and was high up on Jay’s list of the most terrifying women in the world. He was lucky he proposed to you while she was away, not even wanting to think of the tantrums he would have to deal with. He had a feeling she would have barricaded you to stop you from having to leave if she could.

“Nice to hear from you too, Karina,” he muttered sarcastically. 

That made her even more infuriated as she continued yelling, “You fucking prick! You’re lucky I’m not there because I’d rip your throat out with my bare hands if I could, you bitch! Do you think because your mommy has all the power in the world you can just go around acting like you own the place? Give my sister back you asshole!” 

“Karina, I suggest you calm down. I’m calling because your sister wants something from you. And just for your information, my mother was the one that arranged all this, blame her.”

He could hear Karina’s breathing relax. She answered with a shockingly soft tone, ignoring the last part of his words, “She needs something? Of course, I’ll be there. Tell her that.” 

Jay found it far too hilarious how quickly her demeanour changed. “She wants you to come over for dinner tonight. Is your schedule—,” he was cut off by her excited gasp.

“Of course! I’ll free up my schedule. I’ll be there. Give me the address,” she beamed.

He was amused at her sudden change in demeanour, chuckling to himself. 

“What the fuck are you laughing at? You cunt!”

He ignored her, “I’ll be away running errands tonight which should leave you two plenty of time to catch up.”

“Oh, so what? You’re too much of a coward to face me?”

She wasn’t necessarily wrong. He wasn’t interested in dealing with Karina’s drama today, but even if he were to stay for the dinner, she’d probably be pissed and ask him to leave so there was really no winning on his part. He sighed.

“I will let your sister know you’ll be coming.”

“Wait, why doesn’t she—”

He hung up. 

You saw the car drive up to the entrance, and from the front, you saw your family’s chauffeur. Then came out Karina, who smiled so wide she shined like the sun. She came running towards you and you almost fell over when she tackled you, embracing you tightly. 

“Y/N! I missed you so much,” she began showering her eyes through your body, then tightly grabbing your shoulders, “Are you hurt? Did he hurt you? Tell me exactly what he did to—,” her voice was rushed and desperate.

In contrast, yours was calm and collected as you tried to ease her worries, “I’m okay. We’ll discuss everything once you’re inside.”

You could tell in Karina’s eyes she couldn’t quite believe your words. For all she knew, you were being held hostage, being threatened by Jay not to say anything. 

You hooked your arms around hers and walked her through the manor towards the dining room. It was beautifully decorated as per your request, wanting everything to be absolutely perfect for your sister. 

“Any preference for your drink?” you asked softly.

“White wine is fine,” she murmured, glaring at all the servants walking around the room. 

You both sat down, and Karina still had a heavy layer of suspicion etched on her face. She almost flinched when Sara came up behind her to pour the wine into her glass. You clapped your hands and declared, “My sister and I would like some privacy for the evening.” The servants scattered out of the room, and you noticed Karina’s shoulders deflate in relaxation. 

“I don’t want Jongseong’s spies to be listening in on our conversations,” she muttered, glaring at the silver platter of food in front of her.

You were quite amused at her attitude, although knowing she wasn’t exactly wrong. You knew your actions made it back to Jay through the watchful eyes and listening ears of the servants and guards, much to your frustration. “Tell me how you like the pasta, I asked Minseo to make you your favourite—”

Karina stabbed her food with a fork and groaned, “Y/N, I’m not here to talk about fucking pasta,” you flinched at her tone. Her eyes softened at the look on your face, “I’m sorry. I’ve just…This entire month I’ve been feeling insane. I cried every night because I was the reason why all of this happened to you,” her voice cracked at the last part.

Your eyes flew open, “Karina, what are you talking about? None of this is your fault.”

Karina’s eyes were welling up, “I never should’ve gotten involved with Heesung.”

You knew from the beginning that your sister’s relationship with such a dangerous man from the underground of Olympus would get the family into trouble, but you never wished for it. Karina being the heir to the family company made it especially more tricky.

Although your dad loved you both equally, you were only the spare in case something happened to Karina, so he never particularly cared about your entanglements, such as the fact that you were in a relationship with a low-class man. 

As far as you remember, your father had no idea about Karina’s relationship, but ever since the Parks began their siege, you don’t doubt your father has been made in the know and gone to great lengths to end it.

“What happened to him?” you asked.

“To say Dad was upset would be an understatement,” Karina chuckled through her tears. “He threatened to send his men after Heesung and his family if he ever went near me again, so we cut off contact. Haven’t heard from him for over a month.”

You pressed your palms on your forehead, appalled at the state of your family right now. Your father was not known to be a violent person but you could imagine with the state of the company and family right now, he goes to any lengths to protect them. Compared to what your father and sister were going through, the past month has been peace and bliss for you. 

“I’m going to get you out of here soon, Y/N, trust me.”

You looked down, too afraid to meet her pleading eyes, “I don’t wish to leave.”

Karina stopped all her movements and the look she sent your way sent a shiver down your spine, “What?”

“I’m fine here.”

Her eyes were bulging in shock at your calm tone, “What do you mean you’re fine? You were threatened to marry a man you didn’t even know. You were going to get engaged to Sunghoon, I mean what—”

“This is what I wanted to discuss with you, Karina,” you put your wine glass down. Karina furrowed her eyebrows, but with a slight bit of patience left in her body, she motioned for you to keep going, “My engagement to Jay is the least of your worries right now because I’m fine. I’m not hurt, I’m safe and Jay will protect me from—”

You heard the floor creak as Karina stood up from her chair, “Protect you?! From what, his own family? Y/N, what the fuck are you talking about?”

You sighed, wishing Karina could just understand where you were coming from, “I’m just trying to tell you that you don’t have to worry about me. Jay cares about me, he—”

“This is fucking insane. Is he making you say all this? Is it Stockholm syndrome?”

You began walking up towards her, “You don’t know him, Karina. I trust him completely.”

“Then he manipulated you! Him and his bitch of a mother. Y/N this isn’t right, he is a monster, he does not care about you because why else would he take you from us? Keeping you locked away in a fortress is not a sign that he cares about you, he wants to control you. They have complete control over Dad because you’re here. He thinks that if he steps out of line against the Parks, they will kill you!”

You never thought of it that way, assuming you didn’t have a particularly large part to play in the war between your and Jay’s families, however, you still felt the utmost trust towards Jay.

“Karina…please,” you put your hand on her cheek, brushing away her tears of frustration, “Jay would never let something like that happen to me. Please, believe me.”

Karina's eyes squinted as she looked like she was thinking. She fumed, “You’re in love with him, aren’t you?” The look on her face was terrifying, reminiscent of all the times she contemplated killing someone for hurting you. You stayed silent, not being able to look into her scowling eyes. She shook her head and sighed heavily, placing her face into her palms. “You stupid, stupid girl. How can you not understand that he’s not a good man?”

“He doesn’t have to be a good man for me to trust him,” you whispered. You knew you sounded insane, but you were honest. You knew from the gossip around high society that Jay was not a kind man, there often being rumours of him being just as violent as his mother, if not more. 

Maybe it wasn’t logical, but all the times he told you that he loved you, you believed him and knew in your heart he would never hurt someone he loved.

Karina sighed, sitting back in her chair and wrapping her arms around your torso. “They took you from me, Y/N. They made me think I was the reason you were suffering.”

“I understand Karina, but look at me now. I am safe.”

Karina wasn’t letting go of the suspicions she held for Jay but knew you were going to be stubborn. Generally speaking, you did look okay. In fact, you were glowing from within, utterly in love and happy. She remembered the dark circles that used to adorn your face back when you struggled with insomnia, that were beginning to fade. Not to mention how your body looked fuller and healthier compared to how sickly you looked before. 

Karina trusted you were doing well, but didn’t trust Jay to not betray you. She wasn’t sure what she was going to do about him but decided to leave it for now. 

“I’ll kill him if he lays a hand on you,” she lied. She was far too weak to hurt Jay and knew there was practically nothing she could do given the power of his family.

“Karina…,” you sighed, cradling her head.

“I love you, Y/N. I don’t want what happened to Mom to happen to you,” she began sobbing.

“Don’t you dare say that,” you tried to comfort her. 

After you managed to calm her down, you sat back in your chair and tried to continue your dinner normally, pretending like your lives were the same as they used to be. You asked her about her trip, and she asked you what books you’ve been reading. The sky became dark, and eventually, you and Karina called it a night. 

Standing at the entrance, you watched as Karina walked down the marble steps towards the car. Before she could step into it though, she quickly ran back up and embraced you once more. 

She desperately wanted to stay, spend every waking moment protecting you from the dangers of the world like she used to. 

“We’ll see each other again, Karina,” you whispered.

“Of course. I’ll just miss you so much.”

Once she finally left, you stood there in front of the doors to the manor, your hair blowing in the wind of the late evening. You were still trying to process everything Karina told you. As of now, the people you trusted the most were your sister and your husband, but what were you to do when they were on opposing sides?

You were rubbing the serum into your face, staring intently at your reflection in the bathroom mirror. It had been about an hour since Karina left, and your mind was reeling at the events of the night, still conflicted inside you. 

You saw Jay’s figure walk into the bathroom, stalking slowly behind you. He pressed his chest against your back and leaned down to kiss your neck. He was trying to ignore the feeling his crotch pressed up against your ass. 

You were getting ready for bed, so you were only in your panties and an oversized shirt that you found in Jay’s closet, hoping he wouldn’t mind you taking his things. He wrapped his arms around your stomach and asked, “How did it go, my love?”

You knew you shouldn’t have lied, but you didn’t wish to worry Jay, and maybe a small part of you was trying to be more careful about the things you said around him ever since Karina reminded you just how untrustworthy he was, “It went really well,” you grinned into the mirror. 

“I’m glad,” he whispered. He sounded tired, and although that was true, he was also lying about his interest in your day. He couldn’t care less about how things went with Karina as long as you were okay. He understood he wasn’t being the best brother-in-law, but he didn’t invite her over because he wanted to feel closer to his family. All he cared about was your happiness, but didn’t concern himself with anyone that involved in it that wasn’t him.

“What’s that?” he nudged his chin towards the bottle of moisturiser you picked up.

You raised your eyebrows, “you’ve never used face moisturiser before?”

He shook his head, taking the bottle from your hand and inspecting it, “I kept wondering why Minseo bought these little bottles for you.”

You rolled your eyes, “you’re telling me you don’t do any skincare?”

“Nope, I just know you put that cream over your body after you shower.”

You threw your head back in frustration, “How on earth is your skin so clear then? That is so unfair,” you were utterly envious of just how perfect he was.

He chuckled into your shoulder, turning you around to face him, “Why don’t you put some on me?” 

You felt him grip your waist and pull you close, close enough to hear the sound of his breathing. You took a fingerful of the moisturiser and began rubbing it into his cheeks. His smile was loving and warm, mesmerised by your soft touch and your intense focus on his skin. 

His skin was so smooth, it almost made you want to cry. Fuck, he was truly the most gorgeous and flawless man in the world. How did you think you wouldn’t have fallen for him so deeply?

Once you were done, he did the same to you, gently rubbing the cream into your face and neck. You could tell he wasn’t used to doing this, his technique being very sloppy, unlike the one he had when he was rubbing your body that morning. 

You both stood there in silence as you stared at each other, and he could tell in your eyes how affected you were by the intimacy of it all. Your body was hot, your nipples were hardening at the pressure of his chest against them, and your panties were beginning to dampen. 

You gulped as he lowered his hands down to your hips and pulled you closer, your body now completely flush against his. It was impossible to ignore the feeling of his bulge pressed up against you.

“I want to make you feel good tonight,” you whispered in his ear, trailing your hands down his chest. 

He tightened his grip on your hips and said, “You always make me feel good.”

You shook your head, leaning down on your knees, looking up at him with your doe eyes that could’ve melted him into a puddle, “Not like that.”

His breathing became heavier as you unzipped his dress pants and pulled them down. Your back was arched and your eyes were focused solely on how large his bulge had already gotten. You followed by slowly trailing down his boxers. His cock sprung up, hard and already leaking with precum. Gods, he was so greedy for you that it was almost embarrassing how much you affected him. 

You wrapped your hand around his cock and began pumping it up and down as Jay groaned at the pleasure. It was slightly sloppy, much to your embarrassment. “I’m not very good at this,” you said sheepishly. Your eyes were shiny and your face heated up at the admission. Although you weren’t a virgin, you were not very skilled at blowjobs.

Fuck, you were like a nymph that was brought into this world to make Jay go completely mad. You looked so beautiful, and oddly innocent as you were pumping his erection while looking softly into his eyes. He wanted to ruin you. He wished he could keep you around him forever. Even with how inexperienced you seemed, he had to hold himself back from not cumming right then and there.

You finally wrapped your lips around his tip, worried at how much of his cock you could truly take. He sighed in relief as you began bobbing your head up and down, sucking him off as your life depended on it.

He was going to let you take control and be gentle with you because of how timid you seemed, but he couldn’t wait to imagine training your throat to take him properly. He wanted to take you like this over and over again, fucking your face and decorating it with his cum. That would be for another day, though, and he prided himself on his patience. 

You couldn’t manage to take his entire length, gagging at only the halfway point, so you used your hands to pump the base of his cock. He smirked knowing your mouth could barely handle his size yet. 

His groans were loud, his hands were running through your hair, trying to move it away from your face. He felt his orgasm nearing and told you as much. 

He tried to push you back, not wanting to spill himself inside your throat so as not to shock you, but you whined and shook your head. There were tears brimming in your eyes, but you held kept pumping his cock inside your mouth and in your hands, your face hot and your eyes sultry as you desperately wanted to taste him. You wanted every part of him inside you, including his seed, so you weren’t about to let him go.

Jay was shocked at your persistence and desperation. He finally spilled inside and you felt his cum coat your throat. It was warm, and you swallowed every last drop. 

Once you were satisfied you let go and bent over, palms on the floor. You were trying to catch your breath and relax, and felt Jay embrace you and began rubbing your back in an attempt to soothe you like he always does. “You were amazing.”

“I tried my best,” you managed to say in between coughs.

“You were incredible,” he reiterated. “I was just shocked that you swallowed, you seemed like you were really struggling,” he chuckled.

You rolled your eyes at how he was practically boasting about the size of his cock. You lightly slapped him on the shoulder and said, “I wasn’t about to let you cum all over my face and ruin my skincare.”

He grabbed your head and placed a kiss on your temple, “Another time, then,” you felt the smirk on his lips against your skin.

For weeks following that, you and Jay were completely inseparable. You couldn’t imagine living a life without him, and he couldn’t handle the thought of you being out his sight for even one moment.

Jay stopped visiting his father at night, instead choosing to spend it with you, doing whatever it was that you wanted, taking you wherever you wished. 

You were physically tired almost every day due to your ever-so-active sex life. Jay took you anywhere that he felt like. 

One day, you two were playing pool and Jay couldn’t help but focus intently on the way you bent your body over the pool table. The game ended with your chest pressed up against the fabric of the table, your skirt lifted up to your waist, and Jay’s cock pounding away inside you.

He would frequently take you back to the gazebo where your love for him blossomed to what it was now, and he fucked you there in practically every position you could think, and each time you felt fearful and yet also enticed by the risk of someone catching you two.

When he took you to restaurants, it was not uncommon for him to slip a vibrator inside you and increase the setting every time the waiter came around to check on you, making you shake in nervousness and stutter in response.

Although it was rare, he would sometimes let you be on top. Just a few nights ago, you two were watching a film by the fireplace when an intimate scene came on and you couldn’t hold yourself back from getting on top of him and desperately riding his cock. Your moans were loud that evening, and you got so exhausted that Jay had to help you by gripping your hips and guiding you. It didn’t take long for him to flip you over though, and take control away from you, but you greatly enjoyed your brief moment on top of him.

It was an understatement to say you two were utterly insatiable for each other.

You were now getting ready for bed, your body wrapped in a bathrobe after your hot shower. Jay was in his office, you believe he was making a few business calls, but weren’t entirely sure. After doing your skincare, you went into your bedroom and began changing into your pyjamas.

Right as you were about to start buttoning up your silk sleeping shirt, your personal guard came into the room, making you gasp and grab a nearby pillow to cover your chest. The material of your clothes was thin and you weren’t partially comfortable with him seeing you like this. 

“Marco?! What are you doing here? Is everything alright?”

Marco nodded, not doing anything to soothe your worried reaction to him intruding on you. You were appalled at his lack of manners, because what man doesn’t knock before walking into a lady’s room? “Mr. Park just wanted to let you know he’ll be up here in about fifteen minutes.”

You nodded nervously, “Yes, of course. Thank you for letting me know. You can go now.”

He didn’t listen, instead, he slowly walked up to your shaking body and asked you, “May I?” pointing at your shirt. He gently took away the pillow from your hands, and even though you held onto it for dear life, his strength made it all too easy to leave you bare for him. 

You placed your arms over your chest, trying to cover it, but he placed his hands on them and tried to calm you, “Could I just button them up for you?.”

His grip on your arms was tight as he managed to spread them open. He began buttoning up your shirt slowly and making sure to brush his hands against your bare skin. Marco did not think very highly of you, although being mesmerised by your beautiful body. It was getting harder for him to ignore his desire to fuck you open in your marriage home. He used to wonder about what it would be like to be your paramour, given how little seemed to like Jay in the beginning. 

You were disgusted by his touch and sternly said, “Marco. Leave, right now.”

Right as he finished with the last button, he stepped back and your breathing intensified at the events that just transpired. You sent a glare at him, and began raising your voice, “Get the fuck out!”

Marco had no reaction on his face, no remorse for disrespecting you, and just as he was at the door to leave, he turned around and with the most frightening tone, said, “Mr. Park is a lucky man to have you as his bride.”

Once he left, you ran up to the door and shut it as hard as you could. You pressed your back against it and loudly sighed in relief now that he was gone. You immediately ripped off your clothes and threw them in the laundry bin, not wanting any bit of Marco touching your body. You thought you would have to burn it once you had the chance.

You turned off the lights and laid yourself in bed. Your breath was shaky and your mind was heavy. 

After a while, once your body managed to calm down and you began forcing yourself to try and sleep, you felt the door creak open again. You flinched.

“Jay?” you called out, wanting to make sure you weren’t in danger again.

“Yes, my love?” he replied. He sounded exhausted. 

You felt him lay beside you and you immediately turned around to wrap your arms around him tightly. You weren't sure how you were going to tell him about Marco, or whether you should tell him at all. You were now terrified of living in this house.

Jay felt your heavy breathing in the crook of his neck and knew you were thinking about something that worried you, “Is everything okay?”

You nodded weakly. “Yes. I’m okay,” you lied.

“You know you can tell me anything, right?”

“Of course, baby.”

That night, Jay felt a sense of dread as he felt you distancing yourself once more. He knew you weren’t telling him something. Although he understood it would take you longer than just a few months to fully trust him, he desperately wanted to know what it was that was hurting you. 

Before Jay could step foot out of his office, Minseo came into the room rushed and ever so slightly dishevelled. She looked as if she saw something terrible transpire. 

“Mr. Park, a word alone please,” she said breathily, “It concerns Mrs. Park.”

Jay’s eyes flew open, “What? Is she alright? I saw her just half an hour ago, what happened?”

Minseo looked down, her face red in a mixture of fury and worry for you. “I witnessed something bad happen to her last night.” 

Jay furrowed his eyebrows. He knew it. He fucking knew it and he was appalled that you hadn't told him about it. He stepped closer to Minseo, “Tell me what happened, please. Don’t leave a detail out.” Who do I have to kill? He didn’t say the last part out loud, but Minseo knew already the dangers that came the way of the man who laid his hands on you.

“It was Marco,” Jay’s eyes darkened at her words, “I saw him enter her room while she was changing. She begged him to leave, of course, she was practically naked. He forcefully grabbed her and placed his hands on her chest. He left after she screamed at him one last time,” Minseo’s breathing was uneasy as she imagined the stress you might have been under. She could tell from Jay’s body that he felt murderous, but was holding himself back from losing his cool in front of her.

She couldn’t bring herself to look Jay in the eye when she continued, “I am so sorry, Mr. Park. I wish I could’ve gone in there and stopped him, but I was afraid of his strength. You hire such strong men to protect you I was afraid he would’ve used that strength against me. I know it was selfish, I beg you to forgive me. I am so sorry your wife had to get hurt under my watch,” her eyes were brimming with tears, and she didn’t calm down as Jay awkwardly patted her shoulder to calm her. 

“None of this is your fault. Please find Marco and bring him to me,” he said through his clenched teeth and reeling mind. 

“Right away,” she said but before she could leave he said one final thing.

“Stay close to Y/N. As of now, you’re the only one in this house I trust to be around her.”

It had been a few hours since Jay suddenly left the manor, much to your surprise. You didn’t get the chance to ask where he went, and when you asked Minseo, she gave a vague answer about him wanting to visit his father once more.

You felt suspicious regarding her answer but decided to leave it alone. You thought you would have eaten dinner alone that night but Minseo decided to join you. Although it was odd, you did appreciate the company.

Minseo stayed close by to you the entire night, right as you went to bed. For hours you just laid on your mattress, awake and wondering what it was that had Jay missing for so long. A part of you was embarrassed by how dependent you had become on him that a single night away was causing you to act this way. Another part of you went back to the words shared by your sister the night she came for dinner. All about the dangers that come with entailing yourself in Jay’s life. 

You heard the whispered sound of running water in the bathroom across Jay’s bedroom and stood up to begin walking towards it. In the dim lighting of the hallway, you saw Jay’s silhouette bent over the sink and washing his hands.

“Baby? How did your visit go?” you asked timidly. He didn't say anything, and as you walked closer you began to feel confused at his white shirt that was no longer white. It was covered in massive pools of red and his skin. His hair was wet from the sweat and by Gods, he looked like an absolute mess. Your eyes widened and you placed your hands over your mouth in shock. “Jay?! What happened? Are you alright?” you said, reaching over to grip his bicep. 

He stared at your reflection in the mirror, and you felt a shiver run up your spine at his terrifyingly dark stare. He again stayed silent for a while, letting your shock wash over you. 

Then he began, “I had to hear it from Minseo of all people.”

Your hands were shaking ever so slightly, eyes trailing over his body and noticing he had no cuts or wounds, leading you to believe this was someone else’s blood. “What?” you whispered. 

You flinched as he turned around and slammed the door shut behind you. He grabbed your shoulders and forced you to look into his eyes, “A man laid his hands on you,” his breathing was hard, “he hurt you and I had to hear it from fucking Minseo?” he asked. His voice was rough but not loud. 

You began putting the pieces together and realised the blood on his clothes that was now transferring over to you was belonging to your old guard. You had no words, focused solely on his murderous stare. 

You managed to muster up, “Why did you kill Marco?”

He growled, “That’s a stupid fucking question, but I’ll entertain you,” his voice was menacing, “No man who lays a hand on my wife will make it out alive. I made sure that bastard suffered until his last dying breath.” 

There were tears brimming in your eyes. You’ve never been so terrified by the man standing before you, and a part of you desperately wanted to leave his grasp. You gently cupped his face with cold hands, “You shouldn’t have done that, Jay. I was going to tell you eventually. You could have fired him, but now—”

“Fire him?! Are you mad? Fire him so he could go work with another family and assault their women?” He was fuming, “I do not believe you would have told me anything because I know a part of you still doesn’t trust me. I’ve tried to make you believe that I’m not a monster, but I’m done with that bullshit.” 

You did trust him. Gods you trusted him to an illogical point, but fear was not the same thing as distrust. “Of course I love you, but this is not the man I fell in love with.”

“Oh, you know damn well that’s not true. Who the fuck do you think is responsible for executing my family’s enemies?” Your mouth flew open at the revelation, your mind flashing back to the warning words of your sister.

He sighed, his fists clenching, “If you love me, then show me. Don’t keep secrets from me. Why would you keep that from me?” He turned over his palms and you saw the red streaks of blood and the purple bruises adorning it. Even after he tried washing it, it was still obvious what happened. “Do you see my hands? They’re covered in the blood of a man who dishonoured you, and I’d do it a million times over again. I need you to understand that.” 

This was the real him. Although your presence in his life has made him infinitely times warmer than he used to be, he was built on a foundation of darkness and violence. You were what finally made his cold heart beat to life, and he would do anything to protect you and keep you by his side. 

“Jay…,” you embraced him, not wanting to keep looking at his blood-covered body, “I am so, so sorry. I should have told you everything, but I was in shock. I felt ashamed that I let him touch me and I…,” your trailed off.

He pulled you towards him and began rubbing your hair, feeling guilty now that he didn’t have enough time to process how you may have felt about all this. His insecurities led him to believe you didn’t say anything because you were afraid of him. He imagined resurrecting Marco and killing him over and over again for making you feel this way. 

“You are mine,” he murmured.

“I am yours,” you reiterated, your eyes were shining and pleading.

“I almost went mad, Y/N.”

“I think you did go mad.”

He shook his head, the corner of his lips raising, “You haven't seen me go mad just yet. That was nothing.” He grabbed your jaw and roughly kissed you. Your grip on his shoulder tightened and you felt ashamed by how aroused you became. What he did terrify you to no end, but a part of you, a sick and depraved part of you, liked the possessiveness of his actions and words. You were his, mind and body, and you enjoyed seeing him prove to you as such. 

“You are mine,” he repeated, low and furious, “Every part of you belongs to me.”

He raised his legs to force your cunt on his thigh and began grinding against it, making you whimper. “Y-Yes, baby. I’m all y-yours.” 

He slapped the side of your thighs, which were bare as you wearing your pyjama shorts, making you yelp in pain, “You do not keep secrets from me, do you understand?” 

You nodded, your shorts dampening at his roughness. Your face was heating up and you began to sweat, ashamed at how little control you had over your body. You would have done anything for Jay, and let him take you however he wanted.

Now, you were about to let him fuck you open while covering you in the blood of his enemy. 

“Get on your knees,” he demanded. You rushed to the ground with no hesitation, your face now facing his pelvis. After that night two weeks ago, you hadn’t gotten the chance to go down on him, and you felt yourself leaking into your shorts at the excitement of getting to do it again. “You know what to do.”

You immediately unzipped his trousers all too quickly you wrapped your mouth around his cock. It was all too overwhelming to you how badly you wanted to make him feel good, a part of you hoping to use this as a way of asking for forgiveness. Jay was amused at your desperation, “Gods, look at you. You’re such a slut for my cock.”

You whined around his cock, as you’ve always loved when he talked down to you. Jay’s style of lovemaking was usually a mix of roughness and intense movements alongside soft and reassuring words. However, you never did mind him degrading you. 

Like before, you were struggling to handle his size, but instead of going gently on you, Jay grabbed a fistful of your hair and began gradually fucking himself into your mouth. Your throat desperately tried to take him in smoothly, but you were becoming lightheaded at the abuse on your poor mouth. 

Jay was enjoying seeing you like this, desperate and exhausted, with your cheeks adorned with fat tears from your struggle to take him. Your throat felt incredible, and he made it his goal for you to be able to take it fully eventually. To be fair, you were doing better than last time, but you still had a ways to go. You were slobbering and gagging at the feeling of his tip hitting the back of your head, and Jay knew he would cum soon enough. 

Jay glared when he noticed you trail your hands inside your shorts, taking your own action to relieve the pressure in between your legs. He pulled your face away and you began pumping him, letting his seed spill all over your face. Fuck, the way you looked made him want to devour you whole. 

He leaned down to pick you up and placed you on the sink, taking a handful of your ass and slapping it in fury. You cried out before he grabbed your hand and lifted it up in front of him, seeing it covered in your essence. “I didn’t say you could touch yourself, now did I?” 

You shook your head, “I’m sorry, I…I just…I’m sorry, baby.”

He spanked you again, making tears well up in your eyes once more. He growled, “You don’t get to call me that tonight.”

You nodded nervously, “I’m sorry, sir.”

“You do not do anything unless I tell you to, understand?” 

“Y-Yes, of course. I’m so, so sorry,” your voice was desperate and submissive. 

He turned you around and pulled your shorts down, your ass now on full display for him, already pink from his rough strikes. “I forgive you, my love,” he whispered, “But I’ll have to make an example out of this. I don’t want a bad girl to be under me.”

His hands came back onto your ass, but he didn’t just stop once, instead striking you a few times until your legs were shaking and your skin became sore at the feeling. He plunged his cock inside your pussy with no warning, making your double over in shock and pleasure.

He pounded inside of your cunt, grabbing the hair on the back of your head and pulling it up so you could look at your reflection in the mirror. You were embarrassed at how you looked, so pathetic and desperate and at the whim of Jay’s commands. Your pussy clenched around his cock as you felt it his your cervix, “S-So deep. You’re s-so deep,” you stuttered. 

You felt his balls slapping your clit and your mind was spinning at the mix of stimulants. Fuck, it would take Jay practically seconds to make you cum at this point, and you were indeed right. You clamped around him as you felt yourself climax, but that didn’t stop Jay. He kept rutting himself into you, pulling your hair once more.

“Look at yourself. You look like a whore who was made to take my cock. A desperate and pathetic slut,” you clenched at his crude words, much to the soreness of your pussy from your recent orgasm.

He brought you up to stand and flipped you over once more. He lifted you up by your waist and you wrapped your legs around his torso. Just like before, he wasted no time shoving his cock deep inside you. He brushed away the tears of overstimulation that were brimming in your eyes. 

All the times you’ve taken him, and yet you still couldn’t get used to his size. It truly felt like he was splitting you open every time, and it didn’t help that he was practically treating you like a rag doll right now. He was filled with utter adoration and love for you, so much so that he couldn’t handle the weight of it. 

He placed a kiss on your lips, making you breathless. “I-It’s too much, s-sir. I’m go-going to…cum!” you yelped. You were incredibly sensitive but you could feel your second orgasm nearing itself. You held him as if you were going to fall into a deep tunnel, and your life depended on his stability. “It’s too much, Jay.”

Jay sucked on his teeth and looked at you with mock disappointment, “Oh? It’s too much? What a shame. You’d think after all these nights you’d be able to handle a bit more but here you are, weak and pathetic as ever.” 

You shook your head, wanting to tell him he was wrong, but your voice was stuck in your throat. You were determined to prove to him you could handle his intensity, but how could you when he was right, and you were losing your mind before you could even cum a second time. 

“Do you still want me to slow down?” he asked with a smirk. He was putting up the front that he was testing you, but he was becoming worried this may be too much for you as he felt his sanity come back alive. “Say the word and I’ll stop.”

“Not a chance,” you declared, your stare filled with lust and determination. You were going to prove to him that you could handle anything that he sent your way and tightened your legs to pull him closer inside you. You heard him groan at the feeling and you began seeing stars at his cock going deeper than you were ever used to. 

You are incredible, Jay’s mind was reeling. You never failed to leave him amazed at how much love he could feel for one person. 

He kept pounding on your sensitive cunt, bringing his hands down to start playing with your clit, causing you to moan louder than you had the entire night. Your body was shaking, sweating and glowing. 

Jay was close, and you were even closer. You came around his cock once more, a few thrusts before you felt him spill his warm seed inside you once more. Your clamping pussy was milking every last drop of him, satisfying the desire for Jay to fill you up and get you pregnant. “I’m going to get you pregnant, yeah?” he whispered.

You nodded, your doe eyes shining with the dim yellow lights of the bathroom, “Yes, I beg you.”

“You beg me?” he smirked, “You beg me to fill you with my heir? You don’t have to ask, my love. I can already imagine you swollen with my babies. You would look so beautiful. Fuck, I can’t even imagine how you could look even more beautiful than you do now.” He decided not to mention how he wanted to show every man who encountered exactly who you belonged to, and who was your rightful life partner. 

Gods, he couldn’t breathe at the thought of you two raising a family together. He would do absolutely anything to protect them and would go to the lengths of the world the same he would for you. 

You slumped over and rested your head in the crook of his head, closing your eyes in rest. 

After he washed you up and changed your clothes, he took you back to the bedroom, deciding to deal with the bloodied bathroom another time. 

As you laid on the bed, looking peaceful and in bliss, Jay kissed you on your temple, “You will never understand the extent to which I love you,” he whispered. However, you weren’t awake to hear him. 

Karina had her arms intertwined with yours as you were walking through the lush garden of your backyard. The sun was blaring and the sky was perfectly clear. 

You asked Jay if your sister could come over once more because you missed her presence incredibly, and although you were telling the truth, you left out the part about you still being terrified of what Jay has done to your old guard.

Since that night, Jay had fired your other personal guard, as well as many other staff, believing them to be reckless enough to let Marco slip through the cracks and hurt you. He had hired two new personal guards for you, and one of them was a man he trusted with all his life. His name was Jake Sim, and he was a childhood friend of Jay’s who had previously worked as a guard for the mayor of Olympus.  

Jake was not too far behind you and your sister, a common occurrence whenever Jay was not around you. It was honestly annoying, but you understood why Jay was paranoid. 

“I can tell something is wrong, Y/N,” Karina said lowly, afraid of Jake overhearing what she was saying. 

You looked down at the ground, “Something bad happened last week.”

You explained everything to Karina, only leaving out the part where you came on Jay’s cock two times mere minutes after being told of the death of Marco. Your face heated up at the reminder of your blood-soaked pyjamas.

Karina’s jaw fell at the revelation, and although she fully believed him to be capable of such murder, a part of her hoped you wouldn’t be subject to the horror of his ways. She immediately wrapped her arms around you and began tearing up. 

“That bastard!” Karina screamed, not caring anymore about the fact that you two were not alone.

“Jay just wanted to protect—”

Karina’s head snapped at you and she looked appalled, “I don’t mean him, you dummy! I meant your guard. A horrible, horrible man assaulted my baby sister and I wasn’t there to protect her.” You heard Karina’s voice tremble in fear and worry.

“Karina, stop it,” you gripped her hands, “Stop blaming yourself.”

Karina couldn’t help it. Her mind kept going back to all the mistakes she made that led to you ending up in this situation, living in the same house as a murderous monster. She imagined she would’ve wanted to do the same thing if she found out you were hurt, but chose to ignore that. 

“Y/N, don’t you see? This is why I don’t trust you living with Jay,” Karina began rubbing her forehead.

“Karina, I told you to drop it.”

“He didn’t even hesitate to just kill a man, that is psycho behaviour. You know well enough that was not his first body either,” Karina was fuming. “Y/N, Dad and I have been thinking of how we could get the upper hand on the Parks and get you out of this situation.”

You were confused and a little frustrated at Karina’s refusal to understand you wanted to stay with Jay but nodded your head to let her continue because living in bliss with the love of your life was at the expense of your family's suffering. 

Karina whispered, “Jay’s mother is going on a business trip next week, so the Parks’ manor will be empty except for servants. Dad has a spy who is currently working for Aphrodite and he tells us that Mrs. Park is keeping her blackmail material in a safe in the manor. You will go there with Jay and find it, I will tell you as soon as possible the code and location once I get more information but tell me, can you do this for me?”

You were hesitant, but replied to her, “I will try, but don’t you think this is reckless? The Parks are going to find other ways to control us.”

“Y/N, it’s worth a try. The files they have aren’t only about me and Dad. The things they have about you are horrendous,” she was trembling.

“What?”

“Look, I don’t know the exact details, but you could be in great danger. Please, I’m begging you,” she looked at you with pleading eyes. She didn’t want to admit it, but a part of her felt safe putting you up to this because she knew Jay would never let something bad happen to you. 

You nodded nervously, “I’ll do it.”

You and Jay were walking hand in hand through his mother’s manor, heading towards the dining room where you first met her personally. Jay was confused from the very beginning as to why you wanted so badly to come here, not believing any of your odd and vague reasonings. 

The manor was empty of most servants after his mother went overseas, except for a few that weren’t in your vicinity. 

“Should we have a drink?” Jay quirked his head towards the wine cellar.

“I wouldn’t mind a wine,” you smiled his way, but before he could pull you towards the room, you exclaimed, “Oh! You don’t happen to know if your mother keeps that strawberry champagne, would you?”

Jay’s movements stilled. His soft expression that was plastered across his face dropped immediately and his heart felt like it dropped to the soles of his feet. Surely you weren’t talking about what he was thinking. “What?”

“Oh, I guess you don’t. It was this pink and glittery champagne that your mother infused with strawberries, it was really good,” you said completely unaware of the turmoil inside Jay’s heart.

“Uh…yeah, why don’t you go to the dining room? I’ll go get that for you,” he rushed out of your grasp much to your worry and confusion.

You watched as he tensely walked away from you as though he were running out of time.

You were nervously swaying from leg to leg as your mind was focused on the files that were currently in your purse. While Jay was talking to Jake about something unbeknownst to you, you quickly excused yourself to head to the bathroom and as quickly as you could, you found the safe and managed to take the blackmail files.

The code was still engrained in your mind: 200402, Jay's birthday. It filled you with guilt knowing you were doing this without his knowledge, but you had to help your family in any way you could. You knew Jay would do almost anything for you, but his fear and love for his Mother were heavy; she was where he drew the line.

You didn't get to take a proper look at the files, but you were practically sweating at the thought of stealing something from one of the most dangerous women in the world. Gods, you hoped you didn't royally fuck this up.

At the other end of the manor, Jay’s mind was racing, and his hands were sweating, but he tried to calm himself until he saw the proof. When he entered the cellar, he immediately headed towards the dark brown cabinet behind where all the champagne was stored. His mother commonly kept her most dangerous weapons in there.

When he opened it, his heart dropped as he saw it. The one thing he never wanted to imagine. A vial half-filled with pink syrup, with a white label on the front of, ‘Philtre for the Love of My Son’. 

Jay was fuming, and he violently grabbed the vial before smashing the vial on the ground. He fell to the ground, his hands resting atop the shattered glass of the vial, not caring if his palms began to bleed slowly.

“Drink this.” Jay placed a glass of green-tinted liquid in front of you. You looked up at him and his look instilled fear in you. His eyebrows were furrowed and he was focused solely on the glass. He was furious. 

“What is it, baby?” You asked unsurely. 

“Just drink it.” He looked into your eyes and he was pleading, his eyes shining with a mixture of frustration and despair. It has always been so difficult for you to know what was going through his mind. However, you had an endless amount of trust in Jay and knew in your heart that he would never do anything to hurt you. 

You slowly took a swig of the drink. Once you gulped it all down, you keeled over at how disgusting it tasted. It tasted of bitter and unripe berries, sour and bitter. “Jay, are you trying to kill me?” You tried to make a sarcastic joke to help lighten the mood, but it didn’t seem to help. “What was that?”

“It was an antidote.”

“Antitode?”

“My mother poisoned you, Y/N.”

Your eyes flew open, in both shock and confusion. “I haven’t seen her in over a month how is that—”

“That is exactly when she did it,” Jay turned around and now his back was facing you. Even though you couldn’t see him, you could now tell the inner turmoil that was raging within him. 

Jay had been angry before, but never like this. “There is no such thing as pink champagne, Y/N. At least not in our house. What my mother gave you was…” He trailed off, dropping his gaze to the ground and sighing deeply.

“Whatever it was that she gave me it clearly didn’t work. I’m still alive.”

“You drank my mother’s philtre.”

“A philtre? You mean a—”

“A love potion, Y/N. Meant to artificially induce a feeling of love towards someone. That someone being me, obviously.” His voice was shaky at the end. It dawned on you what this all meant, and why on earth Jay was acting so odd and distant ever since you mentioned the champagne.

“Philtres aren’t real, Jay. That’s all just folktales, your mother was being stupid,” you said, but weren’t even sure if you believed it. As much as you didn’t want to think of his words as true, you knew Jay wasn’t a foolish man.

Jay shook his head, now turned once again to face you. His eyes were glassy now, and you noticed his hands were clenched. You couldn’t stand to see him in such a distressed state. 

“They are real, Y/N. They are all too real.”

You shook your head, not wanting to believe it for a moment. You knew magic and alchemy were a common practice in Olympus hundreds of years ago, but laws surrounding their usage have made them practically a myth.

Jay continued, “My mother never had the physical strength to physically hurt her enemies, let alone would she let blood stain her carefully chosen clothes,” his fists clenched, “so she resorted to poisoning them. Eventually, she realised that controlling people is much more powerful than simply getting rid of them.

She began following the recipes of ancient alchemists and eventually perfected them. It’s how she has so many powerful people under her thumb. Her logic was that if it’s not fear that makes them act in her will, she can just take away their will.

Philtres are another thing completely. I know her to be cruel but,” his voice cracked ever so slightly, “this is monstrous.” 

Jay felt disgusted with himself.

Tears began to fall on your cheeks as the reality of everything began to fall on you. He didn’t believe you to be in love with him, and this entire time he was using your unawareness and intoxication to his favour.

“I mean, I should’ve known. Why else would you have acted so differently after the dinner?” Jay asked. He remembered noticing your shift in demeanour, but a selfish part of him didn’t want to investigate further because he enjoyed your attention and your newfound love for him, as much as it made no sense. 

You immediately got up from your seat, rushing over to get in front of him and place your hand on his shoulder, “I am in love with you, Jay,” your voice was in heavy breathing, “I mean, this is insane. Why would your mom even do that? It makes no sense. She drank the champagne with me, so how did it only effect me? This must be a mistake.”

“That's not how alchemy works, Y/N. When you brew the potions, you can control exactly who will be intoxicated by it," Jay's fists were clenched in anger but his eyes shined with tears. "How could I have not known? She wants to control you. She wants it to hurt when she unleashes her fire on you because that would mean you would lose the love of your life,” he couldn’t look into your eyes. “I’m setting you free now.”

Your face fell, “No, Jay. You don’t mean that.”

“My mother is too much of a danger to you. I need you to leave.”

“I am not leaving, Jay. Please, I need you to understand I love you.”

“It is all fake. You never loved me, how could you love a monster like me?” He remembered the night he confronted your former lover. Sunghoon thought of Jay as an animal and an evil man, and Jay couldn’t help but agree with him now.

You cupped his face, your hands shaking violently, “Jay. Don’t leave me.”

“My mother hurt you, Y/N. I hurt you. I can’t keep having doing it.”

“You will hurt me if you leave me, Jay. I don’t know what your mother fed me but it didn’t matter because I love you. Nothing in that bottle measures up to the true love I have for you. Please believe me,” you said in between hiccups.

Jay gently grabbed the hands that were wrapped around his face, and put them back down, sighing in disappointment. “You have to go, Y/N. I can’t send you back to your family when my mother would just go after you, so I’ll go somewhere far and you can stay back at my manor,” you didn’t fail to notice how he didn’t say ‘our’ manor like he used to.

“Baby…” you trailed off, not knowing what to say. You could barely see anything with how thick the tears were that were flooding your eyes. “Baby, I don’t know what to do to make you believe me. Why can’t you believe that I love you?”

“Because there’s nothing about me that you could love,” his tone was of finality like he couldn’t bring himself to look or speak in your presence ever again. Your heart felt like it shattered, and your breathing became hard. 

Jay had to use all his strength to not come to you and hold you as you let your tears out on his shoulder, and instead picked up his phone.

You watched in despair as Jay turned away from you and placed his phone to his ear, “Jake, I need you to come take Y/N home,” he paused to hear Jake’s response, “No, I won’t be coming.”

[ozzgin]

wtf HOW WAS ROMULUS OZZIE Hello??????? I CANT WAIT TO WATCH ITRTR i miss david 8 tho 😓😓 “you finger and i blow” ok gorgeous whatever you say

Ok ok, I let it sit overnight so I could formulate a less feral opinion. I'll do my best to be objective, though you should keep in mind that I'm very biased when it comes to the Alien franchise.

Alien: Romulus First Impressions

Plot. The movie takes place between Alien (1979) and Aliens (1986). If you've seen the old Alien movies, you will notice it follows the same formula: somewhat slow beginning, a grand reveal, a lot of high-stake escape attempts, shady android behavior, and the classic, speedy succession of plot twists where you think you're safe, only to be surprised the very next moment.

While this movie is meant to behave more like the pre-2000 releases, it does bring some novel elements, which, in my opinion, helped build its own authenticity. Additionally - and without spoiling you - it will involve its own Xenomorph variation. Fantastic idea, and I cannot believe it hasn't been done earlier.

The cast is a group of orphaned youngsters who want to escape their space mining colony. You're introduced to a dystopian, grimy world of overworked humans who've never seen the light of the sun. The main character, Rain, is accompanied by her "brother", Andy, an android programmed to take care of her after the death of her parents. Here's another aspect I enjoyed: an anxious, imperfect android who seems to display an emotional bond with his human.

Rain's friends discover a shipwreck which may contain enough sleeping pods to take them away from these unbearable conditions. Their plan is to sneak in, take the pods, and speed away to a more humane station while in cryosleep. The twist? It's not just any regular ship. They have stepped into the Romulus and Remus research station, operated by Weyland-Yutani, and haunted by yet another failed attempt to contain the Xenomorph horrors.

Characters. Let me tell you, this was a breath of fresh air. Prometheus and Covenant have left me rather skeptical when it comes to a competent cast, yet from the ashes of pathetic military personnel rose a bunch of kids who are built for survival. Rain reminded me so much of Ripley - extremely intelligent, efficient, and strong. Her friends are equally brave in the face of disaster. This was a 10/10 cast, and I'm so glad they finally found the balance between being terrified and still navigating the situation without catastrophic mistakes.

Visuals. The imagery was an absolute treat. They seamlessly combined modern special effects with throwback, retro detailing. The futuristic equipment and locations reminded me a lot of Alien: Isolation. Upon further research, it seems that the director was indeed inspired by the game! It made everything so nostalgic and immersive. The Xenomorph design was flawless as usual, involving a lot of body horror.

Audio. I am desperately waiting for the album to be released on Spotify, because the soundtracks were amazing. The music was composed by Benjamin Wallfisch, who seems to have rather big movie titles under his belt, such as It, and It: Chapter Two. Safe to say this man knows how to instil terror in you. They made sure to incorporate some of the classic pieces, then expanded on that. The alert beats reminded me of Covenant, while other tracks provided their own take on the story. The intro of the movie is aided by dissonant chanting in the background, hinting at the ancient, religious imagery used for the Xenomorphs.

Conclusion. Overall, I'd say this is a must-watch for any Alien fan. It is a tribute to the classic movies, but it still offers a brand-new take to the Alien Universe. The movie had some moments of complete silence - staying true to the "In space, no one can hear you scream" quote - and everyone in the cinema held their breaths. It will keep you on your toes.

[choccy-milky]

Random but when you post something I always get excited thinking it's a new chapter 😭 I'm literally waiting by my phone for it

BAHAH IM SORRY ANONS ITS COMING SOON I SWEAR!! but im glad ur looking forward to it!! my damn outline ALONE is 21k words (tho im really happy with it and im excited for yall to read it) and although i still have to finish it + the drawing, HERES PART OF THE WIP IN THE MEANTIME🥹💖(also anon, who cares if u think youre terrible at art... DRAW ANYWAY!!!😤& ILY TOO💖 )

im definitely gonna write them as adults, and have ideas for some side stories i wanna do!!! the one i mentioned in the wattpad comment would be in writing, because i wanna write about seb and clora finally deciding to have their first kid (along with the process😏😏😏😏) and how sebs breeding kink ass will react to doing the devils tango with clora when its ACTUALLY gonna make a baby LMAO. plus how his overprotective ass will act when he finds out clora is LEGIT pregnant while theyre travelling/on the JOB, rather than just a pregnancy scare like last time BAHA. so yes, overly excited seb will defs be a thing in the future LOL. (though there are things i am just gonna keep in comic form, like their kids and stuff, bc i dont rly have ideas for any sort of epilogue with that. so if ppl wanna know about seb and cloras kids, they can just look at my art once i finally draw and post them ^^)

IVE THOUGHT ABOUT THIS TOO and the hairclip would defs be different!! i just havent decided what it would be.... (bro's about go buy her something bedazzled from ardene or claire's or some shit 💀💀LMAO) as for the mascots, the snake for seb would defs still apply bc ive decided its their mascot for the school football team. but for clora no, i dont think bird/raven imagery would be a thing......tho maybe the school mascots can be the snakes AND ravens LMFAO. and then i can have seb look directly into the camera and say "well, clora, looks like we really are The Raven and the Snake."

@4ever2000lover BAHAHA YOULL SEE YOUR NIECE AND NEPHEW SOON I SWEAR!!! i have the sketches but i plan to finish them + post them once im done the last chap of my fic. but they ARE coming, i promise👀👀(and im rly excited for everyone to see their daughter and her name, bc im so proud of it LMAO. i used up my entire big brain quota for the year on it +the reasoning behind it🧠)

also @blue-space-dragon TYSM IM GLAD U LIKE MY ART AND HOW I DRAW MY BLORBOS🥹💖AND ALSO THAT U FIND IT APPETIZING LMAO😋💖

[kaiser-author-san-iii]

Star Light, Star Bright | Fatui Harbingers x (Fem)Creator!Reader

A/N: holy Tsarista, I did not think that it would be this popular. Thank you so much!! It's been a couple months since I got into Genshin, but I'm glad that the Harbinger trailer dropped cause otherwise, this probably wouldn't have existed lol. I apologize for the late update. I have been quite stumped in the plot and just taking a moment to come up with one. If I didn't tag everyone, I'm sorry! DM or reply to be added to the taglist! :3

Summary: Caring for children is hard, but it's especially hard when around the Fatui. Getting isekaied was the last thing on your mind after landing in the icy tundra of Snezhnaya all while your nephew is with you. What will happen when you encounter not only a Fatui Skirmisher but a Fatui Harbinger?

Tags/warnings: female reader, God!reader, Cult AU,

Not edited or beta read, we die like Signora.

First>> Next>>

Masterlist>>

Chapter 2: The Creator's Welcome

Silence.

What could be said while the entire palace and the surrounding area waited with bated breath for their Grace to awaken?

They were fervent - they waited to leave and search for the "meaner" that has done harm to their Beloved but that would leave their Previous Grace with only the Heir for company and guard.

The Precious Heir - they have heard of them only from what was written centuries ago. He was beautiful - he was innocent and was crying for their Grace to wake up all while the Harbingers stood by with the Tsarista finally making her appearance, rushing towards the bed that their Grace rested in, bending the knee and holding their hand.

"Your Grace. Your Excellency. Oh, my Beloved Creator. What has that Meaner done to you?"

Nugget never left your side as he clutched onto your waist, but being careful with your arms as he was told by the blue-haired man with the mask. He was a doctor and clearly knew what he was talking about so the little one made sure to listen well. The Doctor man and the others gave them a room which is what his Auntie expected and though he was focused more on taking care of you, it was nice to wander around the room all while the Harbin Gingers (It was some word that he had trouble saying) always came to check on him and his auntie and even gave him coloring books and sweets and fruits. It was all so good and he made sure to save you some whenever you were going to wake up.

But he especially loved the Tsarista and Columbia (Colombina)

They were very nice. They held him when you were still asleep and he couldn't be there for the operation.

For what seemed like forever, when it was only a matter of four days, the bed shifted as Nugget was reading the latest book that the guy with the funny hat gave him. He wanted to read it to you when you woke up and his wish was soon coming true as he felt movement and looked over to see your [E/c] eyes. He gasped and immediately snuggled into the sheets and wrapped his small arms around your waist.

"Auntie! You're awake! You're awake!"

Soft wet globs of tears started to stain your shirt as you looked down at the child who held you tightly and didn't want to let go. It would have been endearing if it wasn't for the fact that you had almost died from possible blood poisoning from ignoring your wounds. Your Nephew remembered seeing a lot of gold and despite still learning, he knew for a fact blood was red.

Carefully holding him up and ruffling his hair, you kissed his forehead and wiped his tears away.

"I'm sorry I made you worry, Nugget. I promise, I'll be sure to look after myself but my main concern was you."

That response earned a pout but your nephew thought it was good enough for now. If you weren't healthy and in one piece, how are you supposed to find a husband or a wife?!

"Just don't go to sleep anymore or at least for a long time. You made everyone worry!"

"Everyone?"

At the mention, your Nephew saw the clear confusion on your face and smiled brightly, but with a glint of mischievousness as he swiftly, with his small feet could go, hopped out of bed but careful to stay clear from your arms, rushed to the door and yelled out.

"Auntie [Y/n] is awake!" he said with a bright smile that was quite contagious, but it was last minute that you saw a figure by the door, or make it two figures. They had hoods over their head but it was the masks that covered their identities - the sheer happiness was clear from their body movements and one of them rushed out to who knows where while your nephew ran back to your side and started to share all the books he's read while you were recovering.

He's always had trouble reading so it was a feat itself to see him now reading at his supposed grade level. He still had trouble with certain words but nothing to worry about.

While trying to process all that was happening around you, you heard multiple footsteps before the door flew open, and in walked in about a dozen people.

Your face heated up at seeing all the gorgeous faces quickly surround you, pulling your nephew close to your side, weary of what else could happen. But you could have sworn that there was a hint of sadness in their eyes from your pull away from them.

"Don't be scared. They helped us! They helped you! Especially the Doctor man." Your nephew grinned as he held your hand and decided to make you sit up and face the group properly and pointed at the Doctor. The Doctor that he mentioned was practically preening from the praise like a peacock showing off its feathers.

The grip on his hand lessened as you looked at all twelve people one by one. It didn't take a rocket scientist to distinguish the power that they all radiated. Though at the time, you didn't know of the power you held yourself.

The elegant lady with long white hair, icy blue eyes, and who seemed to scream 'Ice Queen', slowly walked up to your bedside with a gentle smile as her hand moved to slowly hold yours. Now, you wouldn't have minded if it was your nephew or family, but this was a stranger. A stranger with a very firm grip despite how delicate it was.

"Now. How shall we punish the meaner that's done this to you?"

Eh?

-x-

It was... a change to have people cater to your every whim despite half of them being just jokes like bringing you the finest gem. The honor of bestowing such a gem was by none other than the 9th Harbinger, Pantalone.

Your nephew was having a great time, especially when he got to get along with a majority of the Harbingers and the Fatui, who took the mission of entertaining Nugget very seriously.

Once your arms were good as new, you asked for the group of Fatui soldiers that you and your nephew first encountered. At first, they were adamant about having you and Nugget leave the palace but you needed to get back to your car and get the rest of your things.

But funnily enough, you don't remember a palace or an organization going by the Fatui in your life...

Not to mention, these people seemed to recognize you and your nephew despite you two not knowing any of them.

If you thought of it more, a headache occurred and the Tsarista was adamant in asking you to save your energy and that it didn't matter if you recognized them. That all that mattered was that you and the Heir were fine.

While bedridden, your Nephew had the privilege to waltz around like he owned the place and even got you some books to read in the meantime. You saw mentions of a Divine Creator, a God-like figure that was first in creating the world around you and beyond, the one that made the stars and skies. A Divine Creator from the Beyond gave life to a speck in the skies and named it Teyvat and thus, its first child was born.

During a certain period when the Creator was roaming freely, they announced that their sister was with child and so, the Creator named the unborn babe the Heir to Teyvat.

The book was quite the read and wanting to know more about why the people around you and Nugget called you the Divine Creator and the Heir, you took it around with you.

"Your Grace, you must bundle up. Snezhnayan winters are quite brutal. People freeze to death here, quite literally in fact." announced a Fatui sniper, the one that first saw you and Nugget as he came behind you and placed a coat, courtesy of Pantalone of course, on your shoulders and your nephew too.

Stepping out to the brutal snow, instead of the harsh snow that you were expecting, it was a light snowfall that shocked the group of Fatui that decided to travel with you.

[Nephew's Name] stepped out from behind you and cheered happily as he rushed out to the snow and started to play, making snowmen and snow angels with, of course, the Fatui looking out and being won over by the child's heart-felt giggles.

They were all trying to make sense of why the snowfall was reduced to just light snow instead of the blizzards they're used to until they recalled that their Divine Grace and the Heir were right here with them. Teyvat was the Divine Creator's first child and as the loyal child it was, it could always sense where they were. Though Snezhnaya was the domain of the Tsarista, the Cryo Archon, the Divine Creator's word was Law.

Ehe.

Everything came to a slow stop as the world first heard the giggle from the Creator and with each step that you had taken, noticeable patches of green started to appear and grow more and more. The chilled winds of winter called down as the grey skies parted to make way for the rays of the sun.

The Tsarista felt the pause of winter, looking out that the frozen lands of her region have warmed up to what it had been long ago before her ascension.

Her Grace has given warmth back to the frozen tundras of Snezhnaya to the point that the flora and fauna basked in the sunlight. "Nugget. Be careful. The snow is melting."

And like that, the snow stopped melting just enough for your nephew to enjoy making snow angels.

'Welcome to Teyvat, Divine Creator!'

TAGLIST:

@lizzhearthz, @yoshikuno , @anonclyde , @khalhaimdad, @ellenoir

@yunsblog030 , @lsleepysimpl, @potol0ver, @kitty-chan33

[imaginespazzi]

Part 5: One Perfect Day

Masterlist - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 6 - Part 7

Let me photograph you in this light (in case it is the last time that we might be exactly like we were)

(In which a procrastinating writer procrastinates giving her ship happiness)

Pairing: Paige Bueckers X Azzi Fudd

Themes: Angst, Pining, Some Fluff

Words: 7.5K

TW: Swearing, Alcohol, Alludes to Sexual Content

A/N: Good evening my lovelies <3. As many of you have reminded me it is indeed Friday and so here we are, nobody needs to yell at me! I know I'm years too late with this but I hope y'all like it anyways, even though this is very much mainly hurt with very little comfort. But for things to get better, they have to get worse and remember, it's all for the plot! There's plenty of creative liberty taken this chapter with how hotels and post-championship celebrations work and other logistics but I wrote it how I needed to so just go with it. Did I edit? Yes. Are there typos and errors anyway? Probably. As always, tell me what you liked, what you disliked and what you'd like to see next. Have a wonderful weekend lovelies!!

March 2019 

The final buzzer echoes through the Williams Arena, and the disappointment of the last couple of years is finally drowned out as the Hopkins Royals win the state championship. Surrounded by the cheers of her teammates, Paige doesn’t know if she’d call this the happiest moment of her life, the stomach flu symptoms haven’t quite faded yet, but she knows it’s definitely on her mount rushmore of times when life was great. 

For a second, as she’d been crouched over the toilet with Azzi’s hands soothingly rubbing her back, feeling her soul leave with the remnants of last night's dinner, Paige had almost lost hope. But she’d never been taught to give up without a fight. And so it hadn’t mattered that she definitely looked a little green or that standing up was taking twice the energy it normally did, Paige was going to play today. It hadn’t been a flashy scoring night but she’d done everything else her team needed. And as that lead had built and built and built, Paige knew, the moment was still hers. 

“Paigeyyyyy,” Drew is the first one to find her after her and her teammates break apart, launching his tiny body into her legs, “you won!”

Paige laughs, lifting her brother into her arms and spinning him around, “I told you I was gonna didn’t I?”

One by one, her whole family, the epitome of a modern family, pull her into hugs and then they gather into one large group hug, with Paige at the centre of it all. Her siblings look at her with pure admiration while her parent’s eyes are filled with pride. And it fulfils that part of Paige that has always lived a little more for her family than for herself. 

As her family moves away slowly, Paige finds herself face to face with Azzi’s shining smile and her heart skips a beat. And she doesn’t really know when it started or even how really, but it gets a little more difficult every time she sees Azzi, for Paige to convince herself that that fluttering in her chest is nothing. 

“You look a little pale white girl,” Azzi teases, taking a couple of steps towards the blonde, “glad you didn’t vomit all over the floor.”

“Nah no bullshit flu is stopping Paige Bueckers. The flu is scared of me,” Paige juts out her chest with a smirk, earning her a patented eye roll from the younger girl. 

“Oh yeah, you’re real scary,” Azzi indulges before pulling Paige into a bone-crushing hug, “I’m proud of you P.”

Paige smiles into the crook of Azzi’s neck, basking in the glow of the compliment. It’s these little moments they have in between their constant banter, where they let themselves be each other’s biggest cheerleaders, that makes them Paige and Azzi. They pull away, still grinning. and Paige’s eyes roam over the Team Paige jersey framing Azzi’s body. It makes her feel some type of way to see the younger girl wearing her name across her chest, but it’s not a feeling Paige is quite ready to accept. Perhaps it’s been written in their destiny that someday things will change, that eventually they’ll both have to confront the something more that’s simmering underneath it all, but for now, Paige just wants to protect what they already have. 

“That’s a pretty jersey,” she says with a wink, fingers rushing over the soft material. 

“I was forced at gunpoint to wear it,” Azzi sighs dramatically, “I was actually cheering for Stillwater. Their pg’s kinda cute.”

Paige bristles at the comment, the queasiness from this morning returning with vengeance, “she’s mid as hell on and off the court.”

“Don’t be petty Paige. You think she’d let me wear her jersey instead?” 

“You know what,” Paige fights a losing battle with the quick surge of anger that’s taking birth in her stomach, “how about you take off my winner’s jersey and go to the loser’s locker room and beg for her jersey instead.”

She knows Azzi’s joking, knows the point guard on the other team isn’t even really Azzi’s type, knows that even if Azzi’s being serious, Paige doesn’t have a right to feel this way. But that green eyed monster is clawing at her heart, squeezing it and making it hard to breathe. 

“Oh- hey hey hey,” Azzi’s quick to grab at her when Paige tries to storm off, “chill dude. You know I’m just kidding.”

“Well it wasn’t funny,” Paige pouts, aware that she’s being unnecessarily childish. 

Azzi opens her mouth, about to make some smartass quip but there must be something about how genuinely frustrated Paige looks that softens her expression, “I came to watch you P. I have no idea what that other girl was doing. I was cheering for you the whole time.”

“You’re so sappy,” Paige snorts, throwing a handful of confetti at Azzi, but inside, the ice cold jealousy melts into something warm and lovely, spreading through her heart into her veins. 

“Can’t even say nice shit without you being a dick about it,” Azzi rolls her eyes, as she links her arms through Paige’s,  “now come on, let’s go celebrate you.”

***

It’s almost 2 a.m. when Paige’s teammates finally begin to filter out of her house, leaving with droopy eyes and tired smiles. She and Azzi stand in the doorway, waving goodbye to every last one of them and it feels a little domestic, like a couple after a dinner party. Paige shakes that thought away the minute it begins to form, forcing herself to ignore the burst of wouldn’t that be lovely that blooms in her chest.

“What if I just fell asleep here?” Paige sags against the doorframe. 

“You’d probably fall flat on your face and I’d get an epic video of it.”

“You’re so fucking mean to me.”

“Oh yeah right because you’re so nice to me.”

“Am to,” Paige retorts, before she makes grabby hands towards Azzi, “carry me?”

Azzi swats her hands away, “Absolutely not lazy, it’s one flight of stairs.”

“That’s like 20 steps,” Paige whines. To be honest, she’s not that tired. Out of the two of them, she’s probably closer to being a night owl. But Paige is nothing if not a little bit of nuisance, especially when it comes to Azzi. 

“Are you an athlete or not,” Azzi chides, rolling her eyes. 

“Bro I just won a championship AND I had the flu. And you won’t even carry me? What kind of best friend are you?”

“Paige.”

“Azziiiiii.”

“Paige I’m tired.”

“Pleeeeeaseeee.”

The younger girl sighs, a sign of her caving in, before turning around so her back is facing Paige's front, “fine, get on you big baby.”

“YES-”

“Dude shut up, you’re gonna wake everybody up,” Azzi groans, always the responsible one. 

“Sorry, sorry,” Paige whispers as she jumps onto Azzi’s back, the force of it causing the brunette to take a couple steps forward, “fucking hell Azzi don’t drop me.”

Azzi lets out an indignant squawk, as she regains her balance,  “with that attitude, I should drop you.”

“If you’re too weak to carry me, just say that,” Paige teases, wrapping her legs firmly around Azzi’s torso.  She buries her shit-eating grin in her best friend’s neck, as she loops her arms around Azzi’s shoulders.

“It is not my fault you’ve put on like a hundred pounds since I last saw you.”

Azzi squeals when Paige pinches at her ribcage and the blonde immediately slaps a hand on her best friend’s mouth, “what happened to being quiet? Now, onwards horsey- OW! Did you just fucking bite my hand!?”

“What happened to being quiet?” Azzi mocks, adjusting Paige’s weight on her back as she begins to walk towards the staircase, grumbling something under her breath about ‘ungrateful best friends’ but Paige knows she doesn’t mean a word of it. She snuggles further into Azzi’s neck, letting herself breathe in the scent of the younger girl. 

When Azzi had first left Minnesota, after they’d spent every second since the plane ride back from Argentina, Paige had thought that that hollowness in her chest was temporary, that it would fade once she got back into daily life. It didn’t. And the thing is the word miss had existed in Paige’s dictionary before too but she doesn’t think she really understood what it meant til she started to miss Azzi. 

As soon as they reach Paige’s bedroom, Azzi’s already swatting Paige off her back. The blonde falls back onto the pillows on her bed with a content sigh, watching with a cheeky grin as Azzi pretends to stretch out the muscles on her back and her arms.

“I think that might have broke my fucking back,” the younger girl groan, face scrunching up in mock exhaustion, “and I have to sit on a plane again tomorrow.”

That wipes the smile straight off Paige's face. It’s so easy to get lost in the moment with Azzi, so easy to forget that they spend less time together than they do apart. They haven’t bothered with the actual lights but even in the dim glow of the moon through Paige’s windows, Azzi sees her best friend’s change in expression clearly, her own face becoming melancholic. Sighing, she climbs onto the bed herself and lies down next to Paige, intertwining her hands with the older girl’s. 

“You could stay a little longer,” Paige says after a moment, eyes resolutely focused on the ceiling. 

Azzi let out a wistful sigh, “I wish. But you know I can’t.”

“You can, you just won’t, little miss goody-two-shoes,” the light-hearted teasing eases some of the mood as they both let out soft giggles. They dissolve into a comfortable silence before, “I can’t wait til we’re playing for UConn together.”

Paige misses the way Azzi stiffens a little next to her, too enthralled with imagining a future where she and her best friend could conquer the world together. She knows Azzi, with all her indecisive tendencies, hasn’t quite come around to being anywhere near ready to pick a college team yet but Paige still has time to convince her and Paige Bueckers is nothing if not persuasive. 

“So it’s definitely UConn then?” 

“Yeah. I mean it’s UConn dude. The UConn. They’re the best. All these other programs are nice but when UConn calls, you don’t say no to that shit,” and Paige means that with all her heart. As the number one recruit in her class, there had been no shortage of offers and of course Paige had entertained them for a little while. But the minute Geno Auriemma had given his offer, everything else had become obsolete. She hadn’t committed yet, still maintaining a façade of being in the decision stage, but all of that was just a front. Paige knows she’s meant to be a UConn husky, there’s no way around it. 

“I think you’ll make a pretty damn good Husky,” Azzi says with a soft smile, as she absentmindedly plays with Paige’s fingers. 

“We’ll make damn good Huskies,” Paige affirms. 

“I don’t know P, California’s pretty tempting,” it’s said teasingly but a hint of seriousness slips through the cracks anyway. 

Paige scoffs, “cause it’s hot? Bruh that much heat would be boring. Connecticut gets all four seasons. We’d get the heat and the snow.”

“I get all of that in Virginia already,” Azzi points out with a huff, “maybe I want something different.”

“You do get something different. You get to play with me. That’s different.”

“Yeah but-”

“Dude why are you fighting me on this? Do you not want to be on the same team as me or something?” Paige asks agitatedly, suddenly feeling frustrated with the turn the conversation had taken. 

“Okay breathe,” Azzi gives her a stern side-eye, “I was just saying California’s nice. Of course I want to be on your team. Did the shirt not make that obvious?”

Involuntarily, Paige has to smile at the memory of Azzi’s jersey, the team Paige that had been loudly imprinted across her chest, “right, sorry got a little carried away. I just always want you on my team, you know?”

“I’m always on Team Paige. I always have been. I always will be,” Azzi says firmly, as if it’s the most obvious truth in the world.  

When Paige turns her head to look at her best friend, the younger girl is already looking back at her and the sincerity in Azzi’s eyes makes Paige’s heart stutter. The moon shines against Azzi’s face and Paige swears she can see every little detail in the dim light. And the thing is Paige has always known Azzi’s a pretty girl, she’s not blind. But it’s different tonight. Tonight Azzi’s the kind of beautiful that Paige wants to memorise until it’s imprinted in the back of her eyelids, the kind of beautiful that she wants to lock away in a treasure chest and preserve only for her own eyes to ever see again. The kind of beautiful that Paige knows she isn’t allowed to think of Azzi as. But still, right now, Azzi’s the kind of beautiful that makes Paige want to try and see if maybe, just maybe, there’s the possibility for something more. 

That night, when she finally falls asleep to the sound of her best friend’s quiet breathing, Paige dreams of UConn and championships and at the end of it all, kissing Azzi under the confetti. 

***

April 2024

There’s 14 seconds left in the National Championship game and UConn is ahead by eight points. Adrenaline courses through Paige’s veins as that one elusive dream of hers seems to finally be coming closer and closer to fruition. Winning a National Championship had been on her mind since she’d first picked up a basketball. The minute she’d committed to UConn, it had felt inevitable and yet year after year, her team had fallen just a little short. But this afternoon, it seems like it’s finally within grasp. 14 seconds to go. 14 steps closer to having her perfect moment. 

Except, every time Paige had imagined this moment, she’d expected her best friend to be there. In the beginning, before everything, she’d dreamed of them being on the court together, running into each other’s arms the minute the buzzer sounded. And then, until the last second today before she had to take the court, Paige had just assumed that when she’d look in the stands, somewhere in the crowd, there’d be the one face she wanted to see most in the world. But no matter how much she squinted, that face had been nowhere to be found and Paige had forced herself to compartmentalise her disappointment, and focus on the game. She hadn’t looked at the crowd since. 

The ball is in the other team’s hands, their point guard, diligently calling out plays before she inbounds it. Coach’s words echo in Paige’s head, try for a clean steal but don’t under any circumstances foul. Their pg inbounds the ball and the shot clock starts to count down. The ball bounces through the hands of different players on the other team but the UConn defence is stifling. Their coach is out of timeouts and it isn’t until the last millisecond that they heave up a prayer shot. And it doesn’t matter if it goes in, it’s a two point possession game, but Paige’s eyes are glued on the basketball anyways. 

The shot is an airball. The buzzer sounds through the arena. UConn wins their 12th national championship. 

For a second, everything goes silent around Paige. The normally over-excitable girl, known for her insane golden retriever energy, is perfectly still. It takes a couple more seconds for the adrenaline to hit. And then she’s screaming, pummeling her body into the rest of her teammates as the bleed blue crowd goes wild. She loses herself in the noise of her teammates cheering and the bright lights of cameras flashing nearby. They did it. And it doesn’t erase just how fucking hard the last couple of year had been, but it makes the burden significantly lighter. 

Paige rushes through the handshake line, the opposing team’s coach giving her an appreciative review of her performance before she’s recaptured into a group hug by her teammates. It’s a surreal feeling really, one that’s far better than even her most wonderful dreams. For the first time since the game began, Paige lets her gaze wander over to the family section who are all tearfully hugging, smiling at her parents and then her siblings and then- 

When her eyes meet Azzi’s, it’s like the last piece of the puzzle has finally settled into its rightful place, completing the perfect picture of Paige’s perfect moment. A #5 UConn jersey hangs loosely against Azzi’s hips as she smiles shyly at her best friend. And Paige is scared to blink, scared if she looks away, the girl in front of her will disappear. It takes everything in her to not rush into the stands, pull her best friend into her and kiss her under the confetti. 

Azzi doesn’t budge when the rest of the family and friends crew start to move towards the court. There’s too much attention, too much media, for that to be a feasible option. Paige wishes they would all just disappear, let her have her moment the exact way she’d pictured it. She thinks she’d like to fulfil that dream of hers, kiss Azzi in the confetti, twirl her around, and between it all, let the world know that she was Paige’s. 

As always, Drew is the first person to reach her. He’s a little too big for her to pick up, but she spins him around anyway. 

“You won Paigey,” her little brother squeals and he might be older now, but that innocent admiration of his older sister is as palpable as always, “I knew you could do it!”

“Thanks for always believing in me, little dude,” Paige says softly, leaning her cheek against the top of Drew’s head.

Over the top of her brother's head, Paige realises with sudden panic that Azzi’s not there anymore. Dread filters into her bloodstream, the voices in her head screaming it was too good to be true. The way her body tenses doesn’t go unnoticed by her mother who’s quick to hold her. 

“She said to tell you she’d see you at the hotel later,” Amy Jo says with a knowing smile, before letting Paige’s body sag into hers. She rubs her daughter’s back as relief settles into the younger girl's features, “proud of you Paigey.”

Paige smiles into her mother’s chest. Last year had been the hardest of her life and for a while the light at the end of the tunnel had been hard to see. Today, she feels the light surrounding her, washing away all the darkness from the last few years, bathing her in the glow of happiness. 

***

“I always knew you’d look good in a UConn jersey.”

Azzi’s eyes fly open and Paige smirks, leaning her body against the wall. The last couple of hours had been a whirlwind of media, champagne and excited chatter about what the after party would be like. Paige’s focus had been on celebrating, but the thought of getting back to Azzi had been a constantly lingering presence in the back of her mind. And as the bus had gotten closer to the hotel, anxiety had creeped in because what if Azzi wasn’t there? What if she’d changed her mind? 

Paige had smiled for the fans outside the hotel, diligently posing for pictures and signing autographs, ignoring the heaviness in heart. But as soon as she was far away from prying eyes, she was bolting towards her room. And then everything was okay. Paige has heard a lot of cliché things about love, about how it makes you hear violins and see stars and all of that, about how it increases your heart rate and makes you flush. But Paige thinks all of that can’t quite be right. Because when she’d seen Azzi, curled up in her sheets, #5 jersey crumpled but still fitted around her body, Paige had only felt a sense of calm. And that Paige thinks, is probably the actual truth of love, it’s about finding peace and to Paige, Azzi has always been her peace. 

“I’d look great in any jersey,” Azzi claps back groggily, moving to sit up. 

“But you look the best in mine. You always have,” Paige tries to keep her voice teasing, but it comes out sounding rather wistful, and the next words are even softer, “you came.”

Azzi bites her lips, looking down at her fiddling thumbs, “you asked me to.”

Those four little words carve themselves into a little crevice in Paige’s heart as if they’ll stay there forever, as if they’ll echo through her entire body for the rest of time. She practically throws herself onto the younger girl, the force of it pushing Azzi back down into the pillows, as she buries her head in the crook of Azzi’s neck. Their legs slot together of their own accord and it’s a little bit like they’re trying to meld into each other’s skin the way they press themselves as close as possible, til there’s barely space for air in between them. They lie like that for god knows how long; it goes by in a rush and yet ever so slowly. 

“I’m really fucking happy you’re here,” Paige whispers into Azzi’s skin, “really fucking happy.”

Azzi doesn’t say anything, humming into Paige’s hair as she tightens her grip on the blonde’s waist but Paige can tell by the way she stiffens underneath her, that Azzi’s holding herself back from something. Her heart hammers in her chest as she lifts her face from Azzi’s neck to inspect the younger girl’s face. 

“What aren’t you saying to me Az?” she whispers quietly with a sinking feeling.

“Paige,” Azzi closes her eyes. And just that is enough for Paige to understand exactly what’s going through her best friend’s head and suddenly she wishes she’d never asked, just let them have this moment. 

“Never mind, I don't want to hear it.”

“That’s not how that works. I- I wanted to wait a little but we- we need to talk.”

“No we don’t,” Paige retorts stubbornly, fighting the tears threatening to spill, “I don’t want to.”

“Paige-”

The girl in question pushes herself off of Azzi, rising to sit on her knees, “this is meant to be the best day of my life Azzi.”

“I know- I’m sorr-”

“What game are you playing, Azzi? Why even fucking come if you were never gonna stay?” Paige spits out. 

“Maybe I shouldn’t have,” Azzi says softly, as she sits up “maybe- maybe I should have stayed away. But it’s you Paige, it’s you and I- I’ve never been that good at staying away from you. And maybe I’m just really selfish but I- I told you once that I wanted to be there when your dreams came true and so- here I am.”

They’d barely known each other when Azzi had said that, when they had just been young innocent girls with a tentative friendship, lying in the grass and sharing their dreams. Back then, the words had thrown Paige off. She hadn’t quite understood why they had meant that much to her, why they had filled her with more warmth than the sun shining above them. But she’d tucked them away in a little corner of her heart hoping she’d understand it better when she was older. She’s older now and she understands. Except every single emotion she’d felt at fifteen is heightened with the realisation that the words had meant something to Azzi too. And-

Paige surges forward to kiss Azzi. She’s pretty sure this bipolar act of theirs will be the death of them someday but it’s the only thing in the moment that makes sense. Azzi is hesitant at first, clearly too in her head, always the overthinker, but she gives in when Paige squeezes at her waist. It’s not as if they’ve kissed that many times before but it feels familiar, a little bit like coming home. She moves to straddle Azzi’s hips and they can’t get any closer really with every bit of their bodies pressed together now, but Paige tries anyways, tries to etch please don’t leave me into the other girl’s skin. And she isn’t sure if the salt she can taste is from the tears steadily streaming from Azzi’s eyes or the ones free-falling from her own. 

The minute Azzi pulls away, Paige misses her. 

“We can’t-”

“Don’t finish that sentence,” Paige cuts Azzi off immediately, resting her forehead against the younger girl’s, “please.”

“Paige,” Azzi breathes out, “I have to go.”

“No you don’t,” Paige says stubbornly. 

“Paige please-”

“Stay- fuck please- Azzi- just give me tonight. Tomorrow we can talk and you can-,” Paige swallows, not wanting to say leave out loud, “but please- tonight can we just pretend? Can you give me that? Fuck- can I just have tonight? Please- just- stay.”

Azzi lets out a shaky breath, “it won’t make it hurt less.”

“I know- fuck- I know but I just don’t want it to hurt right now.”

“Okay,” Azzi whispers slowly, thumb caressing Paige’s wet eyelashes, “okay, I’ll stay tonight.”

Paige kisses her again. 

***

The UConn team falls in love with Azzi in a matter of hours. No one had been shocked when Paige had shown up to the after party a.k.a everybody gathering at the hotel bar, fashionably late and with a nervous Azzi teetering behind her. It had been awkward at first; everyone was a little unsure of how to act around the new presence. Not only was Azzi from a rival team, but everyone was at least a little aware of her tumultuous relationship with their star player. But then KK had wanted to film a tiktok that needed someone to do random camerawork and when everybody else had groaned, Azzi had quietly volunteered. Much to KK’s delight, Azzi turned out to be quite the cameraman. And that apparently was all that was needed and Paige marvels at the way Azzi just fits.

She moves around Paige’s team as if they’re just as much hers. One second she’s timing some stupid drinking game that KK and Ice are playing, the next she’s sitting in a corner laughing with a more subdued Ash and Q. 

Aubrey and Ayanna gush over their girlfriend and Azzi’s coos over their pictures, a hint of wistfulness on her face when she meets Paige’s eyes. 

The team does their routine of teasing Aaliyah’s about being vegetarian and Azzi diligently backs the Canadian up with a spiel of how tofu isn’t actually that bad. That gets her a hi-5 from Aaliyah despite the eye rolls from the rest of the team. 

Despite being a little tipsy from having been dragged into doing shots with Amari and Carol, the two other people she knows pretty well, Azzi diligently lets Inés and Jana teach her little bits of Portuguese and Egyptian. 

Even Nika sheds her frostiness, amused by Azzi’s curiosity to learn her native language beyond just the curse words, and teaches the younger girl a couple of words. Azzi rolls her eyes fondly when she realises she’s been taught to say UConn is the best team ever in Croatian and amidst Nika’s laughter, Paige knows is a hidden acceptance. 

But the best part of it is that although Azzi’s suddenly being pulled in all different directions by various UConn girls, she never really leaves Paige’s side through it all. There’s always a little bit of them touching, whether it’s their shoulders or their knees, even when they’re both involved in completely different conversations and activities. It feels oddly domestic and Paige is reminded of the part after her state championship all over again. The burst of i want this forever that stirs in her chest makes her want to sob because it collides head first against a wall of this is only for tonight. And Paige knows that one night won’t ever be enough for her. 

“Aye Paige’s girl, come play truth or shots with,” KK’s loud voice breaks through Paige’s cloud of distress and it’s eclipsed by the implication of those two words. 

Paige’s girl. The phrases makes itself home in Paige’s heart, sounding so fucking right. She hasn’t let herself acknowledge it truly ever but that’s how it’s always been in Paige’s mind. It’s how she’s always thought of Azzi. As hers. Her Azzi. Her girl. 

“I’m not-that’s not-” Azzi’s cheeks are tinted pink as she stutters through her words, withering under KK’s cocked eyebrow. 

“Uh-okay if you say so,” KK rolls her eyes, holding her hands up in a sarcastic defensive position, “guess we’re starting off truth or shots by lying.”

The rest of the team laughs as Azzi’s blush grows even deeper and Paige can’t even try and hide her smile, her own neck tingling a little bit as she tucks herself into Azzi’s side. And it’s not real, they’re not anything, but in this moment it feels a little bit like they’re everything. 

“You guys are sickening,” Ice accuses when she notices the two of them cheesily smiling at each other, “it makes me gag.”

“They’re cute. Leave them alone,” Caroline chastises, ever the supportive friend. 

Azzi leans back against Paige’s arm as the group goes around the circle, asking each other ridiculous questions, cheering like little kids when their teammates opts to drink instead of answering a vaguely invasive question. When it’s her turn, Paige can already tell by the glint in KK’s eyes that her menace mini-me is about to cause trouble. 

“Paigey cakes, when’s the last time you had sex?”

Next to her, Paige can feel Azzi stiffen immediately. The shot feels heavy in Paige’s hand as she seriously contemplates taking it. She knows why KK asked the question, probably having concocted some idea of exposing Paige and Azzi. She’d known by the waggling eyebrows that the whole team had thought the two of them were late because they’d been fucking but that couldn’t be further from the bitter truth. 

Paige chances a look at Azzi’s face as she bites down on her lips. The younger girl’s face is stoically devoid of any emotion and Paige knows she’s thinking about the night of the crash (or as Paige likes to call it, the most terrifying night of her life) except- 

“November, last year,” Paige says slowly and Azzi whips her face around to look at her, lips falling apart in shock. 

“Don’t play, there’s no fucking way,” Ice guffaws and Paige shrugs. 

“It’s the truth.”

“Bruh what the fuck,” KK looks a little shell-shocked, “how the fuck did you survive that long?”

“Some of us actually know what to do with our own fingers,” Paige quips defensively, trying to ignore the butterflies dancing in her stomach at the way Azzi’s still looking at her. 

“I bet Azzi knows all about your fingers huh Azzi?” and even that, KK’s unhinged commentary, isn’t enough to get Azzi to pull her gaze away from Paige. It’s almost as if she hadn’t heard it all. 

“You didn’t- that night?” Azzi manages to get out. 

“Couldn’t do it,” Paige mumbles, “she wasn’t you.”

Despite the horde of people around them, they’re in their own little bubble now. There are a multitude of questions swimming in Azzi’s eyes and Paige wants to answer all of them if it means that maybe just maybe, she could prevent the inevitable misery tomorrow would bring. 

“Okay Azzi, it’s your turn,” Amari’s voice draws Azzi’s attention away and Paige feels cold without the heat of it. She doesn’t know how she’ll survive tomorrow. Living in the present isn’t working and Paige finds herself already feeling the emptiness she knows will become her reality in a couple of hours. Her fingers tap an incessant pattern on her thigh as she tries to keep her focus on the game, 

Azzi swallows nervously before mustering up a grin with false confidence, “I’m ready. Hit me with your best, I’m not drinking.”

“We’ll see about that,” KK smirks, diabolically rubbing her hands together, before she turns to Nika, “all yours Nik-Nik.”

The other girls “ooh”, knowing  Nika’s reputation for being notoriously good at this game. The Croatian grins at Azzi, as she sits up from where she’d been lazily lying on the love seat, a glint of mischief in her eyes. And then her eyes meet the forlorn ones of her twin and something shifts. When she looks back at Azzi, there’s a more serious look on Nika’s face. 

“Have you ever been in love?”

There’s pin drop silence once the gravity of the question registers. The light-hearted air in the room is replaced with anticipation, as all of Paige’s teammates look back and forth between their point guard and her best friend. Paige isn’t sure if she wants to know the answer, doesn’t know if there’s an answer that wouldn’t break her heart just a little bit. For a second, it looks like Azzi’s going to drink until she puts the shot down on her hand rest until- 

“Yes,” she confesses in a whisper, and Paige feels her heart begin to race, “I have.”

“How many times?” Nika prods

“That’s not how the game works. I already answered your question.”

“Different rules for newcomers,” Nika shrugs. It’s a blatant lie but nobody says anything. Paige is still caught up in her own head and the other girls won't challenge Nika, not when they’re just as curious, “I get to ask questions til you drink.”

Azzi narrows her eyes, knowing it’s all bullshit and maybe if she wasn’t a little bit tipsy and competitive, maybe if she couldn’t feel every inch of Paige’s side pressed against her, she’d walk away but she can’t. 

“Only once,” she answers. 

“With your ex-girlfriend?” Nika asks. The way she raises an eyebrow suggests there’s only one right answer to the question. Paige doesn’t know if there’s a right or wrong answer, only that there’s an answer that would shatter her. 

“No. I was never in love with her,” Azzi directs the answer towards Nika, but everyone knows it’s meant for Paige’s ears. And despite the tornado still roaring in her body, the blonde lets out a sigh of relief. 

Nika’s intimidating demeanour cracks a little bit when that answer makes her smile, “are you in love with someone right now?”

Even if it’s not said out loud, the implication of Nika’s question, the someone, is clear. And suddenly Paige doesn’t want to hear the answer, not right now, not when they’re both a little tipsy, not when they’re surrounded by all her teammates, not when their future is so unclear. 

“Drink,” Paige cuts in, holding the shot in front of Azzi, “don’t answer it.”

“Paige-”

“Drink Azzi,” Paige says firmly. 

Azzi looks equal parts relieved and frustrated as she downs the drink, happy to have gotten out of the uncomfortable round of questioning but a little annoyed at losing in front of the UConn girls. 

“And you said you wouldn’t drink,” Nika sneers, as she hi-5’s her teammates. 

“Because you bent the rules; she did great,” Paige defends immediately and everyone snickers, the mood in the room returning to something more casual.

“So fucking pussywhipped,” Ice teases. 

“Shut up,” Paige whines, hiding her face against Azzi’s shoulder as everybody else laughs. If the voices in head screaming this is just for tonight would shut up for a second, Paige thinks maybe she could fall in love with this moment, surrounded by her found family. 

It’s almost 3 am when the team decides maybe they should start going to bed, knowing they have a morning flight back to Connecticut. Everyone else is still in a jovial mood, sufficiently drunk of both alcohol and the high of a championship but Paige’s stomach pools with dread. Every minute is a step closer to a goodbye, she’ll never be prepared to say. 

They get to the lobby of the hotel when Paige turns to Azzi, ignoring her anxiety to be a nuisance instead. 

“No,” Azzi says immediately when she sees Paige making grabby hands at her, “there’s literally an elevator Paige.”

“So? That just makes it easier for you. This is tradition.”

“In what world is this a tradition?” Azzi sighs exasperatedly. 

“Since I won the state championship,” Paige grins, “pleeeeease, I’m tired, my feet hurt.”

Azzi gives her an unimpressed look, “you’ve been sitting for the last couple of hours.”

“And before that I was winning a championship, after beating your team by the way,” Paige’s smirk widens when Azzi guffaws at catching a stray. 

“Oh fuck off. Reminding me of that is not the way to get me to carry you by the way.”

“C’mon Az, you know you’re gonna give in anyway. You know you wanna sleep, stop wasting time.”

Azzi rolls her eyes with a dramatic sight before doing exactly what she always does, giving into Paige, “hop on then you big baby.”

Paige cheers, latching on Azzi’s back as her knees circle around the other girl’s waist. Unlike when they were younger, Azzi’s doesn’t stumble anymore at the additional weight. She’s stronger now, completely solid and steady underneath Paige and that absolutely doesn’t trigger any inappropriate thoughts in the older girl’s brains, absolutely. 

“Y’all are so cringe,” KK crinkles up her face when she turns to look at them as they wait for the elevator, but there’s a certain amount of fondness in her voice, “but Azzi’s cool. Much cooler than you P boogers. You should bring her around more often.”

Paige’s smile vanishes in tandem with Azzi letting out a strangled noise. KK looks between the two of them, slowly realising maybe she’d just put her foot in her mouth. 

“Yeah, maybe,” Paige answers noncommittally, trying to keep her voice steady. 

Much to her relief, the elevator dings open, saving her from having to say anything more. She wraps her arms tighter around Azzi, burying her face as far into the other girl’s neck as she can and closing her eyes, trying to lose herself in Azzi, instead of in the jail of her own mind.

She doesn’t look up from where she’s nestled into Azzi’s skin, when the rest of her teammates start towards their own separate rooms, telling Azzi how lovely it was to meet her. 

“Can you get off her back, so I can give her a hug?” Ice pinches Paige’s arm but the older girl just shrugs her off. 

“No. Go hug someone else.”

“Bro you’re so fucking annoying,” Ice groans and Azzi sends her an apologetic wink but it doesn’t go unnoticed that she doesn’t try to shake Paige off like she normally would. It heals something in Paige to know that Azzi doesn’t want to let go either. And she doesn’t understand why they’re doing this, why they’re fighting this, when neither of them want to. 

“I think your teammates might like me better than you,” Azzi teases when they finally get back to the room and Paige climbs off of her back. The blonde is too lost in her thoughts to come back with a smart quip. And of course her best friend notices it immediately, nudging her quietly, “P? You good?”

Paige blinks up at Azzi, and even before she says the word, she knows Azzi’s already read them in her eyes, “I don’t want you to go.”

“Paige,” Azzi sighs tiredly, “what happened to pretending tonight?”

“Fuck pretending,” Paige blames the alcohol for how loud her voice comes out, guilty only because it makes the girl in front of her flinch, “I don’t want just tonight. It’s no where near fucking enough. I want forever. With you.”

“That’s not- Paige- we live on different sides of the country.”

“For now, but we can make it work. It’s us,” Paige pleads desperately. 

Azzi scoffs, stepping away from Paige, “you say that like it a good thing.”

“What-”

“Us! We don’t- it’s not- being ‘us’ is not a good thing Paige. May us from before but us now? Us now is complicated and messy and hard and I just- I can’t do this Paige.”

“You can- we can- Azzi- just- think about it okay- sleep on it- you’ll see. You’ll see, I’m right.”

Azzi shakes her head, closing her eyes as a single teardrop leaks out, “you’re making this so fucking hard Paige.”

“I don’t want to- I’m sorry- I’m so sorry baby,” the term of endearment slips through Paige’s lips before she can catch it, “but I need you to think about it once please.”

She moves to cup Azzi’s cheeks, thumb caressing away the tears, “please.”

“Okay, okay,” Azzi nods, resting her forehead against Paige’s, “I’ll think about it.”

They’re quiet as they get changed for bed, thinking about the same thing. Co-existing together comes naturally to them after years of inhabiting each other’s space and the. there's no getting in each other’s way, even if they’re both dead silent. It’s awkward when they finally get into bed, both of them lying on their back, resolutely staring up at the ceiling. Paige is the first one to move, turning onto her side so she can face Azzi. The moon shines against Azzi’s face and Paige thinks that so much has changed, but Azzi’s still that kind of beautiful, the same kind of beautiful Paige had thought of her as since the state championship. 

“What was your answer going to be,” she asks quietly. 

“To what?”

“To Nika’s question. Are you in love with someone right now?”

Azzi hesitates a little bit, before turning her own body to face Paige, “you know the answer Paige, you don’t need me to say it.”

Paige doesn’t prod, knowing they were too volatile for her to keep pushing. Instead she reaches over to intertwine their hands together. 

“Do you know what my answer would have been?”

“Yeah,” Azzi says softly, squeezing her hands, “yeah I do.”

Maybe there’s peace in knowing. Or maybe there’s only more pain. Paige doesn’t know if the truth sets her free, doesn’t know if she could ever even be set free from the shackles that bind her to Azzi, doesn’t think she even wants to be set free. But at least Azzi knows too. Maybe there’s peace in drowning together. 

***

Paige wakes up in a panic when she reaches over and finds the other side of the bed empty. She gets up with a jolt, eyes frantically searching for Azzi, until they finally land on the girl sitting on the couch next to the bed. 

“Fuck,” Paige’s voice is still wracked with sleep, “I thought you left.”

“That’s more your style,” Azzi says and Paige flinches at the reminder, “how’d you sleep?”

“Pretty good. How about you?”

“Pretty shit actually” Azzi admits, “I woke up every two seconds, scared you’d be gone.”

“Az-”

“You asked me to believe in you- to believe in us and I-” Azzi draws in a sharp breath and Paige knows she’s not going to like where this is going, “I want to- I really, really, wish I could. But I don’t. I can’t- I can’t be with you Paige- not when I’m scared you’re going to break my heart every second.”

“Azzi,” Paige scrambles across the bed, stopping when the girl in question holds her hands up. Everything in her feels like it’s on fire. There are no burn marks on her skin but she swears she’s been turned to ashes underneath. 

“And you deserve better than that too Paige. You deserve someone who- who’s not scared. Who can give you all of herself without- without holding back and I- I can’t do that.”

“You can- fuck- Azzi you can- please,” desperation leaks through every syllable as Paige fights what she knows is a losing battle. 

“Not right now. Too much has happened between us and we can’t- we can’t just ignore all of that and start something new- maybe someday- but not right now.”

Azzi stands up from her seat, hesitantly walking over to Paige’s side of the bed. She cups Paige’s face, watery dark brown eyes meeting crystal blue ones that are glistening with tears. 

“Azzi please,” Paige begs, feeling everything slip away before she’d even had a chance to fight for it. 

Azzi presses her lips to Paige’s forehead, holding them there for what feels like the briefest of seconds until she’s pulling away, “I’m sorry P.”

And then she’s gone and every part of Paige’s heart is gone with her. 

[deathbxnny]

Alright! Here it is!

Can i request the Hashiras (Kyojuro, Giyuu, and Sanemi) reacting to their s/o reader giving him a lock of their hair to him? Historically, giving a lock of one's hair to someone has been considered a sign of love and devotion, especially before an impending parting. So what if the reader is giving their lock of hair bc they know their lover will be on a particular long mission.

I hope this is a good request to start of your return. Also yeah, i’ve been doing well! Although i cant lie im not worried on some stuff (Chainsaw man’s new chapters worries me, also did you know that Reze’s arc will get a movie and idk if im ready for the heartbreak T.T)

But regardless of that, hope you have a good day/night though!

- Flower Anon 🌸

Hello there, Flower Anon! Thank you for your cute request, I love it so much! And yeah, I'm getting very worried over Dennis myself and have heard about the movie. I'm actually a manga only reader for CSM and will probably not watch it, because the heartbreak was bad the first time, but it's cool to hear about! Also, I'm glad you're doing well otherwise and hope you'll like this!<33

Content: Small angst, fluff, Reader is not a demon slayer, established relationship, sfw

Reader has no mentioned pronouns!

((Not fully proofread))

☆Rengoku Kyojuro☆

Kyojuro, despite his passion for his work, hated leaving you behind for longer missions. He knew it hurted you more than any wound could ever hurt him and yet, the call of a crow meant his next departure was near. He tried dragging it out for as long as he could, showering you in affection and making sure you're well taken care of whilst he's gone. But eventually, you two found yourself standing at the estate's gates together once more.

He frowned at your teary gaze, when you suddenly held out something to him. "Oh!" He blinked, noting with ease that it was a lock of your hair, wrapped in a red ribbon. He chuckled, as he grabbed it carefully and made sure you saw the way he pinned it to the inside of his haori, right over his heart. He felt an even stronger fire burn through him, his heart full and heavy with his love for you. It was the first time, he ever considered abandoning his duties just to stay with you for a while longer.

But the impatient call of a crow made him refrain only barely and sigh. He put on a wide smile, a kiss pressed to your lips, before he finally turned and began leaving. He waved to you, the sun setting and making his bright eyes shine for you.

"Thank you for this beautiful gift, my love! I'm bound to come home even faster now, with you even close to my heart!"

☆Tomioka Giyuu☆

Giyuu sighed to himself in defeat, when the crow told him about his next mission. He didn't want to leave the peace he had for the last three weeks with you. But duty calls, despite him wishing it would just stop already. He moved slowly, his hands calmly fastening his Nichirin swords to his waist, dark blue eyes meeting your solemn and sad one's. He knew, that you didn't want him to leave either.

You got closer to him then, your hands replacing his, as you began helping him. It's what you often did before his departures, a way of spending time with him for one last time, just in case it took longer than it should. It was a grim reality you two didn't like facing, but reality kept you from getting too far away.

Giyuu's eyes widened ever so slightly when you suddenly tied a small charm to one of his swords. But on further inspection, he realised that a lock of your hair was attached to it. He looked up at you, but you didn't meet his gaze, perhaps out of fear of crying the moment you did.

His hand grasped yours once you were done, his lips pressing against them in a silent thank you. His heart warmed at your gesture, despite him not fully showing it. There was hesitation in the way he let go of you afterwards, but the soft words he spoke, before departing at last, said enough, even if not alot.

"I'll return to you."

☆Shinazugawa Sanemi☆

Sanemi was in a frustrated hurry to get ready, his hands quick to grab all necessary gear and clothing items for his immideate need to leave. There was an emergency mission in a far away village and he had to be there, much to his secret dismay. He had just come back from a longer mission two weeks ago and now he's forced to leave you again? He hated it, you ofcourse did as well, despite never voicing it.

He hissed out a string of curses, when he couldn't find his Haori, until you suddenly appeared next to him with it in hand. He gave you a thankful nod, as you helped him put it on, but also slipped something into his hand, whilst he finally left in a hurry, which he shoved into his pocket quickly. Thankfully he was able to steal a kiss on his way out, secretly noting to spoil you once back ofcourse.

He only looked at what you gave him, when he finally had the time to take a break. His hand reached into his Haori, humming in confusion at the sight of a silver locket. Carefully opening it, he froze when he saw a lock of your hair. Scarred fingers carefully reached to brush against it, before he sighed and shook his head.

He missed you.

Getting up, he felt restless and frustrated again, as he gathered up his things once more. He needed to get this mission over with. He can take a break, once he's in your arms again. Pushing the locket back into his pocket, he continued on his way, motivated for his need for you.

"I'm going to personally send that damned demon back to hell for you, I swear it..."

Thank you again for the great request, Flower Anon! I absolutely loved writing this and hope you enjoyed it too!<33

[scoonsalicious]

Unwanted: Chapter 2, Unwanted - Pt. 5

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Fem!Reader

Summary: When your FWB relationship with your best friend Bucky Barnes turns into something more, you couldn’t be happier. That is, however, until a new Avenger sets her sights on your super soldier and he inadvertently breaks your heart. You take on a mission you might not be prepared for to put some distance between the two of you and open yourself up to past traumas. Too bad the only one who can help you heal is the one person you can no longer trust.

Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language,

Word Count: 1.8k

Previously On...: While on a mission with Steve, you two finally begin the process of healing and clearing the air between you.

A/N: This closes out Chapter 2! I have to say, I cannot wait to post Chapter 3; it's my personal favorite, and you'll see why soon enough! I hope you're all enjoying the story so far, and I'm so grateful for all the likes, comments, and reblogs-- you don't know how much they mean to me! You guys are the greatest! <3

Banner By: The absolutely amazing @mrsbuckybarnes1917

Taglist: (Please let me know if you’d like to be added!)  @blackhawkfanatic @les-sel @marcswife21 @buckybarnessimpp

When the Quinjet landed back at the Avengers’ Tower, Bucky was waiting for you in the landing bay. You'd only been gone for four days, but as soon as he saw you start down the gangplank, he ran to you, picking you up and spinning you in circles until you squealed.

"Buck! Put me down before I throw up on you!"

"Can't, Pocket," he said, though he did stop spinning you. "Missed you too much. Physically impossible to let you go."

Steve followed shortly behind you, rolling his eyes at his best friend's theatrics. "No love for your old war buddy, Barnes?"

Bucky laughed, finally putting you down to give Steve a brief, one-armed hug. "Glad you're back safe, too, Stevie," he said. "And thanks for bringing my Pocket home in one piece."

Steve pulled you close in a side hug, the earlier tension that had existed between the two of you having faded since you had a chance to clear the air. "You should be thanking her for bringing me home in one piece. The girl's deadly with plastic explosives."

You shoved him away from you playfully. "Please, Stevie," you teased. "If you just learned the first thing about computers, you could have done the whole mission on your own, you wouldn't even have needed me."

"Always gonna need you, Pocket," Steve said, ruffling your hair. "You're family." You gave each other stupid grins before he hefted his go-bag over his shoulder. "I'm gonna go grab a shower and get some sleep. I'll see you kids later." He walked off into the belly of the tower, leaving you and Bucky alone.

"Ugh, I can't wait to get out of this tac-suit," you moaned. "I always feel so filthy after a mission with explosives, you know?" Bucky gave you a curious look as he leaned down and grabbed your go-bag for you. "Such a gentleman," you smiled at him as you led the way back to your room.

You went straight into the bathroom and unzipped the top of your tac-suit, pulling it down over your arms until it was hanging from your waist. With a sigh of relief at being freed from the confines of the heavy poly-carbonate blended fabric, you washed your face and started brushing your teeth.

"So, how was the mission?" Bucky called from where he was sitting on your bed.

"Goo!" you managed to get out around a mouthful of toothpaste.

"Good, good." He paused. "So, um, it's not really my business or anything, but did something happen... between you and Steve? While you guys were gone? Like, did you guys, I dunno... sleep together?"

You nearly choked on your toothpaste and quickly spat it out in the sink before coming out of the bathroom.

"I'm sorry," you said, pointing your toothbrush at him accusingly. "Did you just ask me if I had sex with Steve Rogers?"

He wouldn't look at you. "Like I said, it's none of my business. It's just that, before you guys left, you were always kind of, I dunno, angry at him? And then you get off the plane and you're hugging and he's got his hands in your hair and you’re calling him ‘Stevie’. So, I was just wondering if something happened."

"And your brain immediately jumped to us sleeping together?" You asked him, incredulous. He looked up at you. "Seriously? We just talked. Lanced some bad blood that had been festering between us since Berlin, so we can work on being good again, be a family again." You noticed he was staring at you, mouth slightly opened. "What?" you asked him.

He motioned vaguely toward your chest, and you looked down to realize your tac-suit was still hanging half off of you and you were standing in front of him in just a purple push-up bra.

"Oh for fucks' sake, Barnes. They're just tits." You stalked over to your dresser and pulled out a t-shirt and slipped it over your head. "Better now?"

He shook his head as if a spell had been broken over him. "Uh, yeah. So, you didn't sleep with Steve," he reiterated.

"No, I did not. To begin with, he's family. There's a major ick factor. And second--, no. That's really it. The idea is super gross."

"Good," Bucky chuckled. "I love Steve like a brother, but I didn't love the idea of sharing you with him."

You started shimmying yourself out of the pants of your tac-suit and tossed it into your hamper. "Yes," you deadpanned, "because you know how much I love being compared to an object that can be owned and thus shared among friends. Not emotionally triggering for me at all."

Bucky had the decency to look chastised. "You know that's not what I meant."

"Relax, Barnes," you teased as you stepped into and pulled up a pair of shorts. "I'm just giving you shit." You ruffled his hair. "I may be emotionally scarred and have more baggage than the cargo hold on an airplane, but at least I can laugh about it."

Bucky rolled his eyes at you, but there was a smile on his lips. "You're something else, you know that?"

You grinned at him. "I'd like to think so. Makes your life so much more interesting, don't you think?"

Bucky nodded in agreement. "Definitely. You're never boring, that's for sure."

You chuckled and flopped down on your bed next to him. "So, what about you? Any juicy drama while I was gone?"

"Hmmm, let's see..." Bucky thought for a moment. "I'm pretty sure Nat and Banner were fucking in the lab the other day."

"No!" you gasped, sitting up.

"Yeah; I needed some calibration done on my arm, and since you weren't here, I went down to Bruce's lab to ask him to help, but the doors were locked. I was about to turn around and come back later, when the door opened up and Nat came rushing out, won’t acknowledge me or make eye contact, and I swear her shirt was on inside out. I get inside and Banner's actively tucking his shirt back into his pants."

You cackled at the mental image, kicking your legs in the air with delight. "Oh, that's amazing. Finally, those two crazy kids got together. I'll have to find some way to get Nat to give me all the dirty, dirty details."

"Ugh, if you do, please keep them to yourself," Bucky moaned. "Last thing I need is a mental picture of Banner's mini-Hulk."

"Hey now, I'm sure Bruce is perfectly proportionate," you teased. Then you got serious. "I gotta admit, I'm a bit jealous."

"You have a thing for Bruce?" Bucky asked, eyes wide with astonishment. "I would never have guessed he's your type."

"What?! No!" You playfully shoved him. "Same reason I'm jealous of Tony and Pepper, Wanda and Viz, Clint and Laura. You and your left hand, Sam and whoever he's dating this week. It just must be nice to be in a relationship, you know? To have someone to share that part of your life with."

Bucky cocked his eyebrow, but nodded, understanding your meaning and letting your joke about his left hand slide. "So, what's stopping you from going out and getting one for yourself, Pocket? You're smart, funny, gorgeous. You could date anyone you wanted."

You leaned back, making yourself comfortable against your pillows and heaved a heavy sigh. "Oh, you know, just the usual: Trauma, trust issues, fear of abandonment. All of that fun stuff." Bucky gave you a look, and you knew he wanted you to take the conversation seriously, for once.

"Finnne," you whined. "After I... Once I started out on my own, I was... Well, I did everything I could think of to try to reclaim sex for myself, you know? It wasn't healthy, it wasn't smart, but I was young and stupid and I didn't know what else to do. I can fuck someone without having a panic attack now, which, trust me, is a vast improvement from where I started, but making myself vulnerable for that emotional connection? To transcend something from just sex to a real relationship? I have no idea how to do that. It's like, I can open up one way, or the other; I can't do both. It's too much. If there’s even a hint of an emotional connection with a guy, I shut down. Close myself off. Like, it’s not worth the risk of getting hurt.”

"I understand," said Bucky, softly and simply, and you knew that he did. Your traumas were different, but the scars they had left on you were so similar. "I haven't been with a girl, physically, since 1944," he confided. "I don't know if I can trust anyone to be that open with, to share that part of me with. Not after everything that's been done to me. And I worry that I can't trust myself to let go, not without hurting someone."

You let out a long, low whistle. "That's gotta be some kinda celibacy record." You clapped your hand over your mouth. "You're a reborn virgin, James Buchanan Barnes!"

"Reached your quota for serious conversation, have you?" Bucky asked with a piqued eyebrow.

"You know it's not my strong suit," you conceded. "But seriously, man? 1944? Oof. Your balls must be black by now."

He gave you a look of disappointment, causing you to sigh.

"I know, I know," you said eventually. "You're trying to have a meaningful discussion with me and I'm being an immature ass, again. I'm sorry."

Bucky wrapped his arms around you and rested his chin on your shoulder. "You're not an ass, Pocket. You're just... I wish you could talk to me without feeling like you have to fall back onto your defense mechanisms, that's all. I want you to feel safe with me."

You turned your head to look at him. "Buck, I feel safer with you than anyone else on this entire fucking planet. You're my best friend and you know all of my deep, dark secrets. You know me better than anyone, but I’ve spent a lifetime building those defenses; they aren't all just going to fall down in a day, so that means an inappropriate joke or two is going to slip through every now and then.”

Bucky smiled at you and squeezed you a bit tighter. "I know, Pocket. And I adore you for it. But if you ever want to talk about anything serious, know that I'm here for you."

"I know," you said, leaning into him. "And thank you, for being so patient and understanding with me. I get that I can be... a lot."

"No, you're just enough," he said. "Never think otherwise."

<- Previous Part / Next Chapter ->

[httpiastri]

PERFECTLY FINE – CHAPTER THREE (MELBOURNE & IMOLA)

genre: angst, fluff, comfort, etc.

word count: 6.6k

warnings: more heartbreak but that's probs it

author's note: hello again !!! i've been meaning to post this for several days now but never found the strength to proofread it all. decided to fit melbourne and imola both into one chapter because they were kinda short on their own, and they are about a lot of similar stuff so i think it made sense. hope you enjoy, thank you for all love on this <33 monaco chapter is like maybe halfway done so it shouldn't take too long !! (& i like that one more hehe)

series masterlist

MELBOURNE

"ollie, put on your sunglasses," dino tells his friend, doing the same with his own reflective sunglasses before flipping his cap around. "let's look tough and cool."

you roll your eyes, shaking your head at the boys in front of you. ollie does as he's told, both of them crossing their arms over their chests as they lean their shoulders against each others. "is that really the pose you're going for?" you ask, and you're instantly met with a string of protests from the impatient swedish man, making you raise your hands in defense. "as you wish..."

you lean back slightly to fit the whole wall behind them into the frame, all works of graffiti apparently important to include, according to your friend. you're glad that you were quick to press the button to take the picture since, of course, they can't keep the pose for more than a few seconds before breaking into a fit of laughter.

you may be complaining a lot about having been dragged around melbourne the entire day, taking photos of your friends, and being forced to socialize. but really, you're thankful for this opportunity to take your mind off everything that's been going on. during your entire break since jeddah, you've been mourning your feature race and dwelling on everything about paul. it's easy to get stuck in your head, to only remember the bad things. and in those times, you're glad to have people around you to pull you out of the darkness.

melbourne will be different. that's what you've been telling yourself ever since you got out of the car in jeddah. you got your first f3 win here last season, and despite how it's still a fairly new track to you, you have a lot of confidence driving around it. you have faith in your car, and you know you have the skills to perform well. you just need to actually score some points again to keep up in the championship.

"can you two losers stop laughing already?" you huff, slipping your phone into your pocket. "i'm starving, and i refuse to have dinner in the f2 hospitality before the race weekend has even started."

"blah blah blah, you're just picky," dino says as he strolls up to you, one of his hands coming up to mess up your hair. you shoot him a glare. "whatever, let's get going. i'm really hungry myself, actually."

you rake a hand through your hair to fix the chaos he caused, before hurrying to keep up with the long-legged boys who've already started walking away. as you squeeze in between them, ollie reaches for your hand, fingers slipping between yours. you let out a content sigh; not only because you're finally getting some food, nor because of the way ollie squeezes your hand.

like this, it's like you don't seem to have a single care about anything in the world. like you've just flown across the world to hang out with your best friend and your boyfriend, to just have fun and relax in the sun.

dino and ollie pick up on the change in your mood, too; it's hard not to. though you haven't spent any time with them during the break, with the trio split up between england and italy, your slump has been so palpable that they could tell even from so far away. so seeing you this lighthearted and happy makes them satisfied, too.

the calm before the storm, as they say.

"and you said i was the picky one?" you ask as dino sits down at your table in the hospitality, nothing but some plain pasta and some kind of meat pie on his plate.

"you're not much better now, are you?" he asks back, glancing down at your empty plate and then up at your face again. the little baguette you've already eaten was not nearly enough to fuel you for the upcoming qualifying session.

you sigh. "i miss the fish and chips we had yesterday..."

"that was definitely not a part of our diet plan."

a scoff passes your lips and you shake your head. "maybe it wasn't the best possible food for my performance," you start, looking over your shoulder at the long buffet table. "but at least it was edible. my muscles may not have grown, but my heart sure did. isn't that important, too?"

dino chuckles as he chews down some pasta, shrugging his shoulders. "speaking of your heart," he says before taking a long sip from his water bottle. "i was surprised to see how lovey-dovey you and ollie were yesterday."

you raise an eyebrow at him. "aren't we always like that?"

"yeah you are, that's the thing."

you pause for a long moment. "and what's that supposed to mean?"

a sliver of regret makes its way onto his face, so slight you almost don't pick up on it. "well..." he tries his best to play it cool, even pulling his phone out of his pocket to check his notifications, but you see right through him. "i may have heard something, but it doesn't mat-"

you can't stop yourself from cutting him off. "tell me. now."

now it's dino's time to let out a sigh, pulling a hand through his hair. "i heard that you and ollie were having problems. but clearly, that's not the case."

"and who told you that?"

"well, here's the thing, i-" dino's voice cracks just like it always does when he's nervous or when he's lying. he takes a second to clear his throat, and you intervene.

"it was paul, wasn't it?" you ask, and he doesn't answer. the fact that he doesn't immediately deny it, along with his blank expression, gives it away. "that idiot! oh my god..." dino is just about to speak up again, to explain himself or make up an excuse, but you give him no space. "why are you listening to him and not me? why would you not ask me if it's true before assuming something? is he really more reliable when it comes to my relationship?"

"y/n, you know i'm stuck between you three. you're all my best friends, and..." he drags a hand down his face, shaking his head. "how should i know who to trust and who to talk to? i can't even mention him around you."

when his words kick in, your expression softens from the infuriated frown you were earlier displaying. you understand what he means; it must be hard for him to be in the middle of this ongoing cold war. "i get it, i get it," you finally say with a dismissive hand gesture. "just... tell me the details. tell me exactly what he said."

to be fair, the things paul had said to dino weren't as bad as you had expected. it had just been a tiny comment, something along the lines of how paul wasn't sure if you and ollie were still as comfortable around each other since you weren't spotted with him in the paddock in bahrain.

a full-on lie, but not the worst thing to ever happen.

though, what dino then tells you about, is the fact that paul wasn't the only one he heard about it from. kimi had confided in him, too; just like gabriel and dennis.

kimi's story had been pretty much the same as what paul told dino, but dennis said that he had heard that you and ollie had broken up already. and according to gabriel, paul has been telling people that you and ollie are only dating for publicity.

what a joke.

the weight of the rumors sits heavy on your shoulders, but you refuse to let them break you. and despite how much you loathe the thought of even looking at him, your body is bubbling with the need to confront him. this can't go on.

how are you supposed to not think about paul and ollie all day, every day after that?

when you know your ex-boyfriend has been spreading fake rumors about you, how are you supposed to look at his stupid smile when he's walking through the paddock and not punch him in the face?

you manage to restrain yourself, with some help from pepe subtly grabbing your arm to hold you back whenever he notices that paul is near. the negative thing is that it means you don't get an outlet for your emotions.

you have yet to find any positives to it.

you were always told to not mix your driving with romance. now, you understand why. you're so distracted that pretty much everything gets messed up your entire weekend. you aren't able to prepare well for your sessions, so you end up with a weak 15:th position in the qualifying, along with one dnf in the sprint, in what's probably one of the fastest cars on the grid this weekend.

not even the feature works out for you. after a lucky start with five positions gained, you were finally fighting for points again. though, stalling in the pit is apparently not the most optimal thing to do when looking to climb the ranks, which was something you learned the hard way.

the worst of it all is the fact that of course paul ended up with yet another podium. where's the karma in that?

just when you've gotten out of your car and made your way back to the paddock, you spot him. he's on his way to the podium from the cooldown room, climbing a staircase and loudly chatting with zane maloney about the race.

this time, you can't hold back. he ruined your race; he deserves your anger.

"you're a complete idiot, you know that, right?"

your voice startles zane, who looks at you with a guilty expression for a moment until he takes in paul's reaction, realizing that he's not the one you're mat at. "yeah?" the estonian chuckles.

"yeah, you are!" the volume and intensity of your voice rise by the second as you make your way to the foot of the staircase. "where did you find the audacity to run around spreading false rumors about me and my boyfriend?!"

zane slowly steps away, not wanting to get caught in this crossfire, and ascends the steps towards the podium. paul's amused expression doesn't change at all. "what false rumors?"

you gawk at him, completely dumbfounded by his entire way of acting. "that we're having issues."

"well, you are."

"we are not!"

"come on," he starts shaking his head as you take a quick couple of steps up the staircase. "it's easy to see that you're not happy with him."

it doesn't take long for you to reach the landing he's standing on, and for the first time ever, you find yourself hating how tall he is. the way he looks down at you only furthers your aggravation – it's like you're smaller, like you matter less, like you aren't as strong. "and how would you know that i'm not happy?"

he sighs, as if he's completely uninterested in this entire conversation. like your anger doesn't affect him the slightest. "because i know you." he shrugs. "you don't smile like you used to. ollie isn't right for you."

"oh, but you were?!" you scoff, not believing your ears. "you're so conceited, holy shit! you just ruined my weekend, you ruined both of my races, just- leave me and ollie alone!"

when you turn around to descend the stairs again, you notice the crowd that's started to form below you. great. you haven't exactly been subtle, and you wouldn't be surprised if your yells could be heard all the way back to the campos garage. the sight should scare you – any other day, you would've been so embarrassed you'd want to melt through the floor. but right now, you're too full on anger to care.

"maybe you would be driving better if you were still with me."

paul's voice stops you just as you're about to walk down the first step. you slowly turn back to him, mouth gaping wide and eyes blown up.

"something about being with him is clearly bothering you. you weren't like this when you were with me." you're at a loss for words, which he notices and takes advantage of. "you're prioritizing him over your own racing. you did it in bahrain, you did it again in jeddah. it's not good for you."

"maybe what's not good for me is you, have you ever thought about that?" you walk up to him, a finger pressed up to his chest as you stare up at him. "maybe the reason i'm distracted because you won't leave me alone! you keep on spreading these stupid rumors about me and-" you have to pause for a moment to force down the tears that threaten to spill from your eyes. "i can't take it! just back the fuck off!"

you feel like you could explode any second – if that isn't what you just did – and the fact that paul still looks like he doesn't give one single fuck about this makes you want to give him that beating he so deserves. but you hear pepe's voice in the back of your head, reminding you of how the fia wouldn't appreciate having a driver on the grid who gets into fistfights, and so you back off. with one last shake of your head, you turn again, storming down the stairs.

the sea of people at the end of the staircase splits open for you and you hurry away, not taking any time to see if you notice anyone you know in the crowd. you hear a familiar voice call out for you, one you can't quite identify, but you continue running towards your truck.

paul is an idiot – there's no denying in that fact.

but why was there more passion in these two minutes of fighting him than you've had in your entire relationship with ollie?

he can't be right, you decide. you really are in love with ollie, but not in a way that makes you compromise your racing. it's a great relationship, no matter how different it is from the one you had with paul. he may not believe it, but you will make it work.

he can't be right. you won't let him.

ollie heard about the fight between you and paul just minutes later. of course, there are people around the paddock who loves to run around and gossip – and how could they not tell the story of this huge fight to the man who was the topic of it?

in hindsight, he should've come to you instantly. he thought that the wise thing would be to give you space, to give you a few moments to breathe before he came in with all kinds of questions.

but then, when you finally come out of the campos truck over an hour later and make your way over to where he is waiting for you, he can't say anything. he sees the redness of your eyes and hears your heavy sighs loud and clear, and he knows you won't want to talk. he's too late; the wound may still be far from healed, but he still doesn't want to rip off the bandaid you've so carefully applied on yourself.

all he can do is wrap his arms around you, let you rest against his chest and kiss the top of your head, hoping to bring you at least a little bit of comfort.

next time, he will be quicker. he will be there for you right when you need it.

ollie sleeps soundlessly next to you when you pull out your journal from the bedside table. he hasn't had the most flawless weekend either, but at least he scored his first points of the season, which is a great start.

you usually can write paragraphs upon paragraphs about paul. any other day, you're jane austen and nicholas sparks both in one body. but today, there's only one thing that comes out of you.

paul aron is an asshole.

after a few seconds of just staring at your blank journal, another sentence comes to you; one you just can't bring yourself to write down.

but what if he's right?

maybe what you have with ollie isn't true love.

but maybe it's enough.

yourusername just posted!

yourusername not the best weekend race-wise, but alright off the track. we will come back stronger, thank you to the team for all of the hard work :)

show all 54 comments

user keep pushing y/n!! don't let this weekend affect you ❤️

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎

user .....what is pepe doing in the last slide?

→ yourusername wish i knew 🤷‍♀️ he sure looked silly doing it, that's all i know

→ user ollie and dino then?

→ yourusername 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎

user pretty embarrassing weekend tbh

→ user send your hate somewhere else

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user did anyone else hear those rumors... about her and paul....

→ user omg what rumors

→ user check your dms 😘

IMOLA

melbourne was not a good weekend in any possible way, and having it be the last weekend before a long break? not exactly what you had hoped for.

in times like these, you do the one thing you're better at than anyone; distracting yourself.

hours upon hours in the red bull simulator, mornings and evenings at the gym, rewatching old f1 and f2 races all night. anything to get your mind off your love life. pepe is a lifesaver too, since he's good at picking up on the little hints about your current mood and he understands which of your buttons not to push when you're like this.

though ollie understands why you're behaving the way you are after melbourne, he still doesn't enjoy the fact that you're much less open and harder to get hold of. there's a long period of time where you don't answer his texts as often as you usually do, where you cut your face time calls short for random reasons, and where he just can't get through to you. and it hurts him so much more since he's several hours away in italy, not able to properly talk to you about it.

that's why he was overjoyed when you arrived in imola a few days earlier than you needed, just so the two of you could spend some time alone before the weekend started.

it's currently wednesday night, and you just need to swing by your hotel room before heading out for dinner. "i'm to be really quick," you say as the light on the door blinks green and you enter, shuffling over to your suitcase. "i just need to find my purse..."

ollie strolls around for a few moments, almost as if inspecting the room, before just standing to watch the sun set over the city through your balcony door. eventually, you hear his voice from behind you. "what's this?"

when you turn around, you find him staring down into your open duffle bag on the floor – and on top of all your clothes lies your journal.

shit.

"it's... nothing."

he chuckles. "it's clearly not nothing. it looks like it's been used quite a lot," he says, eyes moving over to you. "is it a novel? a calendar?"

you turn back to your suitcase, pretending like it's no big deal, that you're just much more interested in finding your purse. "well, something like that."

"something like what?" ollie frowns, bending down a little to take a closer look at the outside.

"found it!" you reach for your handbag, pulling it out and holding it up in the air as you step away from the suitcase. "we can go now."

"why aren't you telling me? is it secret?"

ollie is stubborn; it's one of the things you like about him, one of the things that makes him the person he is. without his determination, he would've never made it to f2 nor the ferrari driver academy – and he wouldn't be your boyfriend. so, you aren't surprised that he's not letting go of your journal.

he can clearly tell it's a big deal for you, despite the fact that you try to hide it, and he can't help but feel a bit of worry creep into him when you don't answer him instantly. he regrets pushing you for an answer, but he's also immensely curious – and he's a bit tired of you still keeping secrets from him, despite the fact that he would never tell you that.

after a few more moments of silence, he takes your hand, leading you to sit down on the edge of the bed with him. and with the way he's looking at you, there's no way you can hold back from telling him.

you tell him about when you first bought it, that rainy day back home in cambridge and that little bookshop near your elementary school. you tell him about how it just called for you, begged for you to buy it, how the dark blue color felt like it was chosen just to attract attention from your eyes and your eyes only.

and you tell him about your therapist and the amount of time you've spent trying to work out all of your issues. you tell him about how when she suggested that you find an outlet for your emotions that's more easily accessible during race weekends, your mind instantly wandered to the little journal you'd bought but found no use for yet.

but you make sure to leave out all of the details, only filling him in on the major issues. you don't tell him about just how bad your performance anxiety gets, or about how close you've been to just quitting racing when your imposter syndrome thoughts cloud your mind. you can't let him know too much, get too close.

you try to brush it off as something casual, like it's no big deal; but you also make sure to tell him how extremely secret it is and about the many ways you would kill him by if you found out he'd read in it. your tone is one of levity, of course – but in reality, you weren't really kidding.

paul knew about the journal, too, and you knew how much he longed to know more than the color of the wrapping. you'd often find him with pleading eyes as he watched you write, tiny pout on his lips and a joking comment along the lines of "you're not cursing me out in that, are you?".

but despite how curious he was, paul never overstepped his boundaries. he would never – and you trust that ollie won't, either. he's far too good for that, too kindhearted and empathetic to go against your wishes. especially with how fragile and vulnerable you look to him in this moment.

he makes sure to listen to every word that leaves your mouth, nodding understandingly and letting you finish pouring your heart out before he speaks up.

"you know, you could also use me if you want to,” he starts, a gentle hand coming up to caress your cheek. "to talk to, i mean. or rant, or anything. if you think being vocal about it instead of writing could work."

of course he would try to find a way to help you out. to him, it's a win-win situation – if venting to him works for you, then that's great, but it would also mean that he could maybe finally work himself past that wall you've built up around yourself. if you start telling him about your feelings for your own sake, maybe he can finally get to know you better and get closer to you.

but that's the thing. opening up means being vulnerable, letting your guard down. you do trust him, you really do; so why can't you just do it?

ollie smiles at the little nod you give him – it's not a promise, but it's a good start. you've started talking to him, and he thinks that maybe the momentum will keep you going.

you realize that he's still holding your hand when he gives it a soft squeeze, standing up from the bed. "enough of that now," he says, trying to ignore the slightly somber expression taking over your features. "let's go to that restaurant, hm?"

you intertwine your fingers with his and rise next to him, slinging your purse over your shoulder with another nod. "let's go."

seven missed calls.

that's the sight you're met by when you scan over your phone notifications after your post-qualifying debrief with the team. you don't even need to check who they're from; you knew your dad would be dissatisfied with your results from the second you stepped out of your car halfway through the session.

before today, you hadn't spun out in a qualifying session since your karting days – but apparently, there's a first time for everything. another qualifying outside of the top ten means that yet again, you will be starting in the lower ranks in both races. missing out on the reverse grid always sucks, but it sucks a little extra when you know you could've, and should've, performed better. with pepe's third-place finish, you know your campos car was good enough to end up in the top of the timings. if only you'd kept the car on the track, maybe you could've proved something.

proven that you're capable, proven that you belong here. proven that you actually can handle the pressure.

if you know your dad right, he's definitely not calling to give you his condolences or cheer you up. it's not exactly his style. chances are, he's not just going to criticize your performance, but also compare it to a certain someone else's.

ollie managed to snatch that second place for the starting grid on sunday, which is something you should only be happy about. but as much as you adore your boyfriend and wish him all of the joy in the world, it's upsetting that he needed to perform so well this weekend. it's like the fuel to your dad's "you should've gone to ferrari"-fire he wanted so badly.

pepe knows that look on your face by now; he's been a first-hand witness to your fights with your father too many times to count by now. his hand on your shoulder gives you a quick squeeze after he's watched you flip your phone upside down on the table with a sigh before slumping further into your seat.

"did someone die in here or what?" sebastian's voice spreads through the room when he walks into it and catches a glimpse of you. the air is so thick with tension that he fears he will choke on it if he doesn't try to lighten the mood a bit.

"nothing except my weekend, i guess," you mumble back, not giving into his attempt that easily. what's he so happy for, anyway? his result of qualifying 25th isn't exactly something to celebrate, either.

"hey, cheer up," sebastian says. "we'll have an overtaking party this weekend!"

when you stay quiet, pepe says something quick in spanish to sebastian who just nods, eyes flickering between you two. you let out a groan – it's ironic, really, since you're a driver for a spanish team, but you hate it when people speak spanish around you since you can't understand it. especially when you know they're talking about you but not with you.

pepe apologizes instantly, but the smile on his lips never falters. not even your behavior is enough to stop him from beaming over his own qualifying results. for the first time in a while, he is actually happy after a session – and he won't let you ruin it.

"okay, come on. i have the perfect plan to save this night," pepe starts. your phone buzzes on the table with what you assume is another angry message, and you're just about to open it when he interjects. "and that starts with giving me your phone."

"that seems pretty suspicious…" you say, though you understand immediately why he does it. pepe knows you far too well already.

you reluctantly place your phone into the hand he holds out for you. "i promise to let you know if ollie or anyone on the team texts you. but i think you need to stay away from this for a while." he nods toward sebastian, whose eyebrows shoot up in surprise. "could you run out to get some kind of candy? anything that could work as poker chips is good enough."

"and i suppose that means my deck of cards is needed, too?" you ask, not able to hold back from smiling anymore at your friend's silly attempt to cheer you up.

"you bet."

call it childish, but your poker session really did serve its purpose. it ended up being the first time you've been able to properly relax and just have fun in months. it didn’t matter that none of you three got a lot of sleep – just getting to enjoy the moment was good enough.

however, the next day, it was all back to square one again.

the sprint race was indeed an overtaking party, as sebastian had suggested – but six overtakes from p20 is still not enough for any points, not even when about five drivers crash in the first lap. despite all that, you still had some hope for the feature; even more laps to work your way up the ranks and the possibility of having a good strategy were the only two thoughts on your mind.

but yet again, you left the race having scored exactly no points. and to your biggest annoyance, the winner was the one person you prayed would not get the win. one pretty much no one had expected.

just like spa last year in f3, paul was insanely lucky with his choice of strategy. with a perfectly timed late pit stop when the safety car came out, he came out in the front of the field on his new option tires. pretty much the entire field behind him had opted for the opposite strategy, which meant he soared away at the safety car restart and took the win quite easily.

at least, now the championship can't possibly get any worse, can it?

celebrations are always due when paul wins, and this weekend is no exception. you honestly wanted nothing more than to stay back in your hotel room and forget about the weekend even happening. but after some combined begging from ollie, pepe and jak, all saying something about how "you're no fun anymore" and "it's been so long since you partied with us", you finally gave in.

"and i promise, you won't be left alone for even a second," ollie whispers into your ear as he wraps his arm around your waist, guiding you through the door to the club of the night. "i'll be right here, and all of your other friends. okay?"

your answer comes in the form of a hum and a quick nod as the loud music floods all of your senses the second you step into the club. your boyfriend gives you a squeeze, just about to speak up again, when he spots pepe waving at you both from a table a few meters ahead.

"you actually made it!" he exclaims when you join him, reaching over to give your shoulder a gentle squeeze before letting his hand drop to his side again. "and you look great. i was scared you'd show up wearing your race suit or pyjamas just as a form of protest."

"trust me, i wanted to," you tell him with a shrug. "but someone stopped me. said it wasn’t appropriate."

"what, i was just supposed to let you make a fool of yourself?" ollie scoffs from next to you. "isn't that why i'm your boyfriend? making sure you don't embarrass yourself in public?"

"of course, what else?" you say back without missing a beat, giving him a pat on the top of his head. you then turn to greet dennis, zak and gabriel, who are also standing by the table. the discussion around the table easily falls into a race debrief, before morphing into a debate about the f1 race of the night. but it doesn't take long until the group is split up, with pepe and gabriel deciding to go for a round of dancing on the dance floor, and dennis and zak both running off toward the bathrooms.

you have to confirm to ollie about five times that you indeed will be alright standing alone for a few moments as he walks the twenty meters away to the bar to get you both a drink before he actually goes away. the way he's treating you feels somewhat strange; like you're some kind of fragile glass sculpture, like even the slightest hint of turbulence will make you break.

but then again, maybe you've earned it. your recent months definitely haven't been making you any stronger, that's for sure.

you don't really mind it at first; the slight tipsiness you already feel from the shots dennis had ordered for the table and the throbbing bass from the random house song playing on the dance floor doing a good job at drowning out your thoughts. except, that's only until something out on the dance floor catches your attention from the corner of your eye.

paul has been gone all evening, busy celebrating his win probably, and your heart flutters momentarily at the sight of him out there. but when you turn your head towards him to take him in fully, your heart drops instead.

he's with someone. and not just anyone – a girl.

a girl who's got her arms draped around his neck, while his hands hold her hips close to him.

the smiles on their lips can be spotted from miles away, and you can hear the sweet sound of paul's laughter ringing in your ears when you see her lean in to whisper something in his ear.

who is she? what's she doing with her arms around him? why is she-

your thoughts all go silent when paul places a hand underneath her jaw, leans down, and gently presses his lips to hers. it's like the entire world goes silent; like everything else is just a blur of blinking lights, but the spotlight is on the couple on the dance floor. your eyes can't help but follow their lips, their hands caressing each other's bodies...

goosebumps spread across your skin in an instant and an eerie feeling passes through your body. you finally manage to pull your gaze off paul and the girl – who is she, anyway? – and you turn away, making a beeline to the restroom. thankfully, a woman exits through the door just as you arrive, and you're quick to lock yourself in.

once you're inside and pressing your back up against the wall, it's like everything that's been building up in you is let loose. the walls are broken down, and every thought and emotion you have comes crashing down onto you. rivers of tears are flowing down your cheeks before you can react, and you slide down the wall, knees coming up to your chest as your hands come up to cover your face.

there's this strong, heartbreaking feeling spreading through your chest. is it jealousy? is it disappointment? regret?

what you do know is that this aching feeling in your heart is stronger than ever.

is this how paul feels when he sees me with ollie?

it can't be, you think – it just can't. paul can't be in this much pain...

does this mean that you still love him? does this mean you still aren't over him?

you know you should be over him already. you've tried so hard, put so much energy into your relationship with ollie. and yet, you still feel like this.

it's not fair. not to you, and especially not to ollie. he cares about you, respects you, supports you – hell, he's probably out there right now looking for you and wanting to make sure you're okay. he really likes you, and he thinks you like him too. but here you are, crying about another man.

when you're all out of tears, you use your last piece of strength to push yourself up from the floor, standing up and leaning over the sink. wearing non-waterproof is both a blessing and a curse; the trails down your cheeks are straight out of a nightmare, but they're also easy to wash off with a little water and some paper towels. the redness in your eyes isn't as easy to erase, unfortunately, but it'll have to do. you hope to be able to blame it on being tired, or having too much to drink.

you take a deep breath before stepping out of the bathroom and making your way towards the crowd on the dance floor again. the music is just as loud as it was before, and the crowd is just as sweaty and chaotic as a packed summer festival. thankfully, you don't see paul anywhere, but you find ollie quite easily. he's standing by a high table with gabriel and dennis when you approach, eyes lighting up when he spots you.

"there you are!" he exclaims, throwing an arm around your shoulders. "i've been looking for you–" ollie cuts himself off, his eyebrows furrowing a little. his voice lowers a few notches. "what's wrong?"

he noticed. in hindsight, how could he not? he's always been extremely attentive. "it's nothing, i..." you start, looking down at your feet. "i'm just exhausted from the day."

but he isn't stupid. he knows, he understands. even if he doesn't know who or what caused it, it's easy for him to tell that you've been crying. he nods, arm dropping from your shoulders to hold you around your back. "okay," he says, hand giving your waist a soft squeeze. "let's leave."

you look up at him again. the last thing you want is for him to have to cut his night short just for you. "no, i can go alone-"

"i don't mind. we came together, so we're leaving together." and before you can interject again, he's already said his goodbyes to the boys and pulled you along through the crowd.

the cab ride back to the hotel is mostly silent. you play the "exhausted" card, while ollie plays the "naive boyfriend" card. but just because you're both quiet doesn't mean your heads aren't absolutely buzzing. your mind is racing with the memory of paul's lips on that girl, kissing her and holding her like he used to kiss and hold you. but your thoughts are also clouded by the guilt you feel for being this much of a mess, and making yourself so unavailable to ollie.

ollie, on the other hand, isn't exactly rolling his thumbs, either. it takes his everything not to push you into telling him what's wrong; he wishes you would tell him because you want to, not because he's pressuring you. he's so worried about you, but at the same time, he hates the fact that you won't confide in him.

what's he doing wrong? why don't you trust him?

ollie is fast asleep next to you in your hotel bed when you pull out your dark blue journal from the bedside table.

the journal is not a secret from him anymore per se, but you still waited until this moment. the guilt of writing about another man when ollie is the one in bed with you is too big to face with his brown eyes looking up at you, so you'd rather do it like this.

yet another round of the championship, yet another bad weekend. no points, bad results as always – and that's not even the worst part.

paul was with another girl. someone i've never seen before. but he was acting like they were attached by the hip. like they've known each other forever. like i wasn't even there.

he must've known i would see. and yet, he had no issues kissing her like his life depended on it.

is it only this painful to see paul because we haven't spoken in weeks?

or is it going to be like this forever?

and just like in melbourne, there's one more thought that springs to your mind that you just can't find in yourself to write down.

i wish it were me.

yourusername just posted!

yourusername a weekend to forget, focusing on monaco instead. thanks for your support. ❤️ #foreversenna

show all 47 comments

user you did the best you could 💙

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎

user honestly what is she doing?

→ user bad results over and over even though the car is on fire, what even

→ user awkward

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎

user are she and ollie even a couple anymore?

→ user just because she doesn't post him, they've broken up? 🤨

→ user no no it's just because i've heard things... 😶

→ user omg pls tell me

→ user she'll delete the comment probably 🤪 but lemme dm you

[silverynight]

Welcome home

<---Previous

Chapter 2

Since Katsuki goes really often to Izuku's side of the building, his coworkers are now used to his presence and don't even react when he's there. The first few times though, they were slightly scared because of his reputation; sure, when he gets angry he can be scary, but he's not really a bad person.

"Almost done, nerd?" Katsuki leans over his cubicle, looking particularly smug that day.

"Yes," Izuku smiles back at him; Aizawa texted him back about the other pro hero and said it didn't matter if they didn't have a name yet. He mentioned something about calling the new head of Endeavor's agency himself.

The green haired man shakes his head at his computer; he knows Aizawa is irritated about not having everything ready for the new mission, even though he says it's fine.

"Did you like it?"

Katsuki's words bring Izuku back to the present, and he looks a bit confused when he notices the red eyes staring at his neck.

But then he remembers the device.

"Yes!" He grins before his momentary excitement disappears. "How did you know about this?"

There's a moment of hesitation, but then Katsuki smirks again.

"Who doesn't?"

Izuku presses his lips together, having the weird feeling that he's missing something, but he has a few files to write.

When he's done, he makes sure everything in his station is in the right place before picking his backpack and hoodie up; with a smile, he walks out of his cubicle and says goodbye to his coworkers.

"Finally! You took ages!"

"You could've gone to your apartment, you know," Izuku smiles, watching as Katsuki shakes his head at him.

The pro hero could've left, but Izuku is glad he didn't; he finds it oddly sweet when he waits for him. He does that every time their schedules aline, which is not that often.

"Midoriya!" One of his coworkers stops him, prompting Katsuki to narrow his eyes at her immediately. "I was wondering if you'd like to–"

Katsuki puts an arm around Izuku's shoulders then, and she stops mid sentence; her eyes notice the necklace.

"Yeah? What is it?" He insists kindly. Perhaps she needs help with something; Izuku likes to help his coworkers. He has time, Katsuki can wait a bit.

She shakes her head while blushing.

"It's nothing! I'll see you tomorrow!"

"Alright, if you're sure!" However, Izuku is already being dragged towards the exit. "Kacchan, you're really impatient today..."

"I don't like her."

Izuku rolls his eyes, but he's glad they're heading to the parking lot now and she can't hear him.

"So where are we heading today?" He asks, feeling himself getting more hungry within each second.

"Wherever you want."

"I chose the last time we went out."

"So?"

This is exactly one of the reasons most people online get everything wrong about pro hero Dynamight; Katsuki is actually very kind and always puts Izuku first.

He's grateful they decided to start over, and now they're good friends.

"Kacchan..." Izuku trails off as he notices the scratches and bruises on the pro hero's arms. Even though he can't see his back, he knows he has a couple there as well. "Why didn't you let the paramedics patch you up?"

As they get out of the parking lot, Katsuki looks at Izuku momentarily with an amused smile on his face before facing ahead again. He takes one of his hands off the steering wheel to pinch Izuku's cheek.

"They usually take ages," he says as if that's a good response. "Besides, I'm fine."

"They are there for a reason, you know?" Izuku sighs. The concern is obvious in his tone. He doesn't like it when Katsuki doesn't take care of himself. "If they're just scratches, they probably wouldn't have taken too long."

"I wanted to see you."

The sincerity in his voice makes Izuku blush and look away; of course, it's normal for a friend to worry about him, but sometimes Katsuki has this look in his red eyes... it's so intense it makes Izuku feel warm and fuzzy inside.

"I'm not going anywhere," Izuku says after a while. "Please, let others take care of you."

"I leave that to you."

Izuku sighs, and Katsuki chuckles in response before stroking the other man's cheek with his thumb.

"Fine. We're going to your apartment then," he mumbles after a while.

"So you can patch me up?" Katsuki has a triumphant smirk on his face that makes Izuku narrow his eyes. He shouldn't be happy about getting hurt! "Nice. I'll make katsudon then."

"Really?" The asks, feeling his bad humor vanish in seconds.

"Of course, nerd."

***

It's a good thing he has done this a couple of times, otherwise he'd be really flustered at the moment.

Katsuki has taken a shower, and now he's patiently waiting for Izuku, sitting at the edge of his bed, with only a towel around his waist.

Even though they are friends, Izuku is not blind and admits the pro hero is very attractive; it seems the years of training and working as a pro hero had paid off because Izuku is sure his chest and back are only muscle mass now.

He's also taller and broader than Izuku; of course, Izuku goes to the gym, but he's still thin and small compared to his friend.

To push those thoughts away, Izuku goes to where Katsuki keeps his first aid kit before walking back in the bedroom, relieved that the bruises and scratches are only on Katsuki's back this time. That way he doesn't get to see Izuku's blush.

Actually, it's not only that, but the way Katsuki goes quiet and keeps staring at Izuku whenever he cleans his wounds that make him flustered. Despite being loud and grumpy when it comes to someone patching him up, Katsuki calms down and relaxes when Izuku does it.

And those red eyes never leave Izuku's face, which is why he's glad this time Katsuki's back is the only part that is hurt.

When he's almost done, he hears Katsuki sigh, and for a moment he worries he has another injury he hasn't told Izuku about.

"I'd like for you to patch me up for the rest of our lives."

"Of course, Kacchan!" Izuku smiles, taking a few steps back and moving around so he can finally face him. "We're friends after all!"

Katsuki doesn't smile back, but he nods, looking more tired than ever.

"I think I should leave you to rest; you had a long day at work..."

"Nonsense! Do you think I can't handle a simple katsudon?"

He's back to normal, Izuku thinks, relieved. Maybe he imagined the whole thing.

Chuckling, he goes back to the living room and sits on the couch while Katsuki changes. Izuku is kinda relieved when he sees him wearing pants and a shirt.

"I think you should stay," Katsuki mumbles then, rubbing the back of his neck.

"If this is about my apartment I–"

"No. I mean, I hate your place," the pro hero admits, cutting him off. "But this is not about that; I think it'd be nice for you to... sleep over tonight, like we used to do. And tomorrow you can go back to your shitty building."

Despite the numerous insults to his apartment, Izuku smiles back.

"That'd be nice! No, wait, I don't have extra clothes with me..."

"That's okay, I'll let you borrow some of mine to sleep in and we can throw that into the washer machine, I have to wash a couple of shirts too anyway. They'll be ready for tomorrow."

"Can we watch an All Might documentary while we have dinner?" Izuku asks, already excited about the plan.

Katsuki rolls his eyes.

"Sure, you nerd."

"Great! I'll take a shower!"

He chooses one of the guests' rooms; yes, Katsuki's apartment has a couple of those, a laundry room and three bathrooms. He has never told Izuku how much he had to pay for his apartment, but he can definitely take a guess.

When he steps out of the bathroom, he finds a black shirt and shorts. They're really comfortable, even though Izuku is swimming in the shirt.

The kitchen smells delicious already.

"Do you need help?"

A couple of things happen when Katsuki turns around to look at him; he drops the chopsticks he's holding, curses and turns bright red as Izuku rushes towards him.

"Are you hurt, Kacchan? Do you need to rest?"

"No," he grumbles, looking away from Izuku. "I just got distracted. I'm fine!"

"Do you want me to help you?"

Katsuki's cheeks turn pink again, but this time he narrows his eyes.

"No, you're just a distraction."

Izuku pouts, but he leaves and sits on the couch. His mistake is making himself too comfortable because the next thing he knows is that someone is calling out his name and stroking his cheek.

"I didn't spend my time making this so you didn't eat it," Katsuki mumbles, irritated. Although Izuku notices concern written all over his face as he blinks his eyes open. "Besides, I know you haven't eaten anything since breakfast."

Izuku is too tired to ask him how he knows that; he moves a bit before taking the bowl and chopsticks in his hands.

It smells delicious.

"Thank you, Kacchan!"

"You're welcome," the pro hero smiles fondly at him before adding: "Now scoot over!"

"Do you have tea, Kacchan?"

"Already made you a cup."

"You're the best!"

"Of course I am!"

After he finishes his katsudon, Izuku curls up on the couch; he must've been more tired than he thought because he only manages to watch half of the documentary.

When he wakes up though, he's back in the guest room, lying on the bed. There's a mouthwatering smell of pancakes coming from the kitchen so he walks out as fast as he can.

"Good morning, nerd!" Katsuki smirks; Izuku can tell he's in a very good mood. "Your hair looks like a bird's nest."

"When does it not?" He mumbles, moving closer to the pancakes. He's not hundred percent awake yet so he's not sure the chuckle he heard came from Katsuki. "Honey?"

"Yes, baby?"

Izuku suddenly feels very much awake now. His face turns pink as Katsuki starts laughing like the devil he is.

"I-I meant the bottle of honey!" He stammers. "I want to know where you k-keep it!"

"I know, I know," the pro hero grins, still enjoying his little joke. Izuku pouts at him, but that makes him laugh again. "Third cabinet, nerd."

Izuku forgives him because he put blueberries in his pancakes and those are his favorites.

***

He has a meeting with Eraserhead or Aizawa (as he knows him) that morning; the first time he met the man, Izuku got really nervous, but he realized quickly that even though he's a strict boss, he's fair and kind.

"Midoriya, there's been a change of plans," he says as soon as he walks into his office. "Pro hero Shoto is coming in a couple of hours to learn about the missing students' situation, and I want you to gather all the information you have on the case and explain everything to him."

So the pro hero they chose to send is Todoroki Shoto himself.

"Sure! Do you have his contact information? I need to select a few documents so he can–"

"Actually, I'd like for you to explain it to him in person. Time's running out and I think you're the one who knows more about this case at the moment. You can use this office."

"Oh," Izuku mumbles, slightly nervous. He's about to meet the number two and he doesn't want to make a fool of himself. "Sure!"

It's alright, he has to push his fanboy self away for a moment. He needs to be professional about this.

***

As he gets all the information necessary for the case ready; he makes sure to reread the key points so he doesn't miss anything important during his conversation with pro hero Shoto.

Alright, he's slightly nervous about it; the pro hero with mismatched hair usually looks serious during his interviews and even though Izuku has the feeling that he doesn't quite know how to interact with the public, he's also afraid that he's a person with very little patience.

And Izuku tends to get on people's nerves when he rambles, or at least that's what his old classmates used to say about him.

He was a very solitary person during high-school because of that; he knows it's different now and that people actually like him, but sometimes his insecurities come back, especially whenever he remembers how some of his classmates treated him for being quirkless.

He's glad Katsuki wasn't there to see that.

Izuku closes his eyes for a moment, reminding himself that he's not in school anymore; things have changed. People don't treat quirkless individuals like that anymore.

Well, most of them don't.

He's sure pro hero Shoto doesn't; so far all heroes he has met have been really kind and good to him.

Especially Katsuki, but that's not a surprise since they're friends now.

"Are you alright, Midoriya? Do you need to go to the infirmary?"

Izuku blinks his eyes open again and mentally thanks Bushida for talking to him; he's at work, he should be focusing, pro hero Shoto will arrive soon.

"No, I'm fine!" He smiles, making a dismissive gesture with his hand. "How can I help you?"

It's weird to see her there, since she's from human resources.

"I don't want to bother you, but they told me you got your device," she mumbles, pointing at the necklace. "And I just wanted to remind you of the agency policy regarding relationships. Surely, my coworker mentioned you had to fill certain documents in case you started dating someone working for the agency as well, right?"

Izuku blinks a couple of times and tries to process the information she just gave to him. Yes, he knows about that already, but he's not sure why she's bringing it up now or what his device has anything to do with it.

"Yes, I know, but I'm not dating anyone at the moment."

She chuckles, just like Hatsume did when he asked about Dynamight's symbol.

"Good one."

"No, I'm not joking..." He insists, trying to make her understand with a look. "I'm single."

"But Dynamight gave you a device to keep you safe!"

He blushes. This is a serious misunderstanding he needs to fix immediately.

"No, this is from the agency! Hatsume put it on me the other day, I'm sure everyone has one–"

"No," she shakes her head and shows him her own bracelet, the one she said was a gift from her fiancé, another pro hero working for the agency. "These are benefits the agency offers pro heroes in case their families and significant others need help. They can get the standard ones for free, but if they want to design their own to make it original or romantic, like my fiancé did for me, they get charged extra for it. Yours looks even more expensive than mine."

The blush deepens and spreads down his neck. Izuku shakes his head. This is about his apartment, isn't it? Katsuki is still worried about that.

He needs to have a serious conversation with him soon.

"L-Listen, I know what this looks like, but Kacchan... I mean Dynamight! We are just friends. He just... gets overprotective sometimes!"

Bushida looks at him like she can't quite believe what he's saying.

"Well, okay. But if you two start dating, tell him you need to fill the documents I sent to your email, sign them and then send them back to me, alright?"

"Sure!" Izuku nods. "But that won't be necessary!"

"Whatever you say, pretty!"

He wonders if he should text Katsuki telling him he wants to talk as soon as possible, but then he gets Aizawa's message.

He's here.

I'm coming! He texts back before grabbing a few files he printed beforehand... he thinks those will be enough to show pro hero Shoto.

His conversation with Katsuki can wait.

***

Next--->

Patreon

[jazjelspen]

leaving on wild charted waters [pt.4]

(what if our mc got tired of Night Raven College and all it's inhabitants?)

(what if our beloved mc has...(voluntarily) been helping with decorating for the ball that will be happening in the next few days!?)

(just a “filler” chapter but it's just pure fluff and our mc having a great time with their new RSA friends + fleshing out some RSA students that I may use in future chapters/will get back to angst but as many of you know: our mc needs to be happy!

p.s Neige is actually a nice person in this series, he just doesn’t mean to come off as fake. I just wanted to write a nice version of the character for this!)

(fluff/splash of angst but it's very short)

the ball: part 1

you couldn't be more relaxed. you are currently chilling with your new friends and Rielle on the same shore you stepped your shoes in on your first day here. you all decided that after a long day of studies, activities, and fun ballroom decorating that it'd be a great idea to just relax beside the waters with everyone having each of their favorite snacks and drinks.

you and your friends were quiet since all you could all do was take in the refreshing sea air and the feeling of the breeze kissing your faces, the sound of the water sloshing and splashing also added to the calm ambience of the scene, and of course it wouldn't be complete without the screech of a seagull or the cute chirps of birds. I just can't forget to mention the same beautiful sunset that came upon your first day here also appearing in this exact moment, it really did always take your breath away. 'god, nothing could beat this view' you thought.

you noted how this time when you volunteered to help out with ballroom decorating, that no one actually ever left you on your own or ditched you. everyone did their part, some mishaps here and there, but it wasn't anything none of you could fix. you actually felt as if the work was much less with everyone actively doing their job and not slacking off or disappearing when they have the chance... these guys actually sticked by you and didn't let you down in the slightest. it was as if a splash of the freshest water just hit your face and took off a lot of stains that you had from NRC.

you all reveled in the moment until someone finally spoke up, "today was no joke." your friend, Alex Underlan, spoke in an exasperating tone as he laid with his arms and legs spread as if he's about to make a snow angel in the sand. "it felt as if this day would never end."

the next to speak was Neige Leblanc "we did take awhile to set up the decorations for the ball. thankfully we managed to finish just in time before the setting sun left!" he spoke with a smile as he looked up to see his little blue bird friends sitting comfortably on his hat. "we have to admit we did do a pretty good job on the decorating."

Chenya, an acquaintance from NRC and now very good friends with in RSA, stretched his limbs out in the sand with a loud yawn "beats me, I'm just glad that the hard part is over and we can now nap like kittens!~..."

"I agree with Neige though, we did do a pretty great job with decorating! along with the help of our fellow animal friends too it made the whole thing a bit more hectic yet fun." Rielle chirped in "I do have to admit-- Raps and _____ did an amazing job painting the ceiling and walls for the occasion! it's like those really detailed murals from waaay back then!"

Raps then replied with a bit of a sheepish smile "aww thanks Red, but obviously I wouldn't have been able to get it done in time with my favorite assistant _____ here!--" Raps shook your shoulder gently with the entire group chuckling with each other.

"hey! I'm your only assistant!" you replied with a light giggle "Raps I seriously have no idea how you're not afraid of falling from such a height-- you have immense trust in your hair." you paused " but then again i was hanging onto your hair while painting-- so I actually can tell why you have immense trust in your hair." you all just fell into a fit of laughter together in harmony at the hilarious memory of you freaking out a bit while clinging onto your friend's hair over how high you were to then feeling confident and relaxed while painting the ballroom walls and ceiling with Raps.

after you all calmed down the excitement for the ball started rising in your chest once again "honestly... i'm so excited for the ball. mostly because it's the one ball where I most likely won't have to deal with any people that have underlying personal issues that I have to deal with." you let out an almost happy sigh.

Chenya snickered, knowing well what that referenced to "nahh, no overblots here. don't remember there ever being one since I first came to this rabbit hole." he then closed his eyes as to take a light cat nap.

"me either!" chirped in Neige "but no need to fret or fear, in case an issue does come up we won't ask you to have to take care of it for us. with what you've told us you have seemed to have gone through so much already--" he spoke this next part more lowly " I should've... noticed it back when the VDC event was happening..." Neige sulked a bit but then gave you a small smile "I'm just glad you still came all this way to give RSA a chance _____!.."

"thanks Neige, that's actually... very kind of you to say." you smiled back as one of Neige's little blue birds landed on one of your knees and chirped a small song for you.. how cute and charming. "actually back then at the VDC event I honestly thought you were probably hiding under some super cute and friendly facade but turns out that it's really just you being naturally kind and well... friendly!" almost everyone either choked on their drinks or giggled, basically all collectively agreeing that everyone else thought that too in the beginning of meeting Neige at some point.

Neige paused a bit and looked at you with wide eyes and a genuinely confused smile, processing what you just said as he let out a very confused "huh?--"

"Raps Belleflowe!"

a loud interrupting and snarly voice boomed from behind the group of six, so loud it caused the little birds that rested on you and Neige to fly away! you all simultaneously turned to look at the tall and dark figure with voluminous black curls awaiting for one of you.

Raps sighed in immense disappointment as he packed up any snacks he had out back in his satchel, now looking all gloomy. "well- I'll see you guys tomorrow!.."

Chenya then turned to look his long haired friend with an almost disappointed look too "leaving so soon blondie? not staying over to grab some full grub with us?"

Raps shook his head "ahh...not today guys! maybe next time--" he was about to walk out before he quickly faced the group who all groaned in disappointment together " hey how about to make up for it I treat you all to lunch at school!" everyone still seemed disappointed yet each still gave Raps a thumbs up at his idea.

you all watched him scurry to his father who seemed to be less than pleased, almost scolding him before they both walked seemingly back to the dorms.

"I don't like Raps's dad... always gave me the heebie jeebies, keeps Raps from us outside of school-related stuff, and always gives me low scores on my biochem tests!..." Alex grumbled as he looked up at the sky.

"he is an intimidating individual.. but he seems to be very attentive to Raps and always seems to help him with all the countless hobbies he has!.." Neige tried to seem a bit positive, but he does agree with Alex on the first two things.

"a bit too attentive, I know a helicopter dad when I see one." Rielle huffed before he yawned. "well let's get a meal before we all head our separate ways and sleep like sleeping beauty."

Chenya and Alex both seemed to agree very much with this idea with how quickly they both to stood up in a weirdly comedic way.

you chuckled at this "guess we don't have to tell you two twice."

Alex laughed at your comment "you really don't!"

while the other three got up Neige gently tapped on your shoulder before you got up as well. "hey _____! if you don't mind-- could we take a photo together for my Magicam? I've posted photos with everyone except you, and I wouldn't want to leave you out!" he gave you these puppy dog eyes as he asked, you couldn't help but chuckle at this and nod.

"of course Neige, I'd love to be in your Magicam." you spoke before a bright smile grew on his face and you both set up a pose together in front of his phone's camera.

"1...2..!" and right when he was about to say three he clicked on the camera button and now he has a memory of you two! he looked over the photo "look at us! we look great!"

you nodded in agreement, genuienly impressed with how good you two looked "huh!.. we really do don't we!"

you both giggled together before a loud and sharp 'ahem!' interrupted you both. both pairs of eyes looked up to see all three of your standing friends waiting for you.

Chenya groaned "let's get going slow pokes! Im starting to mistake Alex's stomach growls to that of a lion's roar." the cat tittered before Alex gasped and punched him on the arm, not hard enough to actually hurt him.

"no they do not! fleabag.." Alex sneered.

"awwe! that hurt, blondie #2..." whined the cat.

the rest of you three lightly laughed at the scene before you as Neige and yourself got up together. once the two wrapped up their play fight you all as a group started walking to the nearest shop for a quick meal.

guess you didn't realize that with Neige posting the picture of you two later on in the day that it'd rise hell onto the campus of Night Raven College-- unbeknownst to all of you.

(really short compared to other parts but next chapter will be when the actual ball will happen and all the silly funzies stuff too. as mentioned once again this chapter and the next are basically just fluff and "filler" and to flesh out most of mc's new friends +adding sprinkles and splashes of angst here and there to at least keep it interesting!)

[gargoyleandgremlinpress]

Sudden Nature by everbrighter

This MDZS fic/series is a modern AU that's mostly without magic... except there's a heavenly bureaucracy. And every once in a while, it makes a mistake, and sends someone who's died back to earth. This is rare, but frequent enough that hospitals have resurrection wards just in case.

If you're at all familiar with canon, I think we can all see where this is going.

Wei Ying is a a whistleblower on the Wen Corporation in this one, who's adopted baby A-Yuan. When he's killed in an accident, Lan Zhan raises Lan Yuan and lives with his grief... and then Wei Ying comes back. This is a story that's emotional and heartfelt, and very funny in bits, about grief and loss and family, and getting something back you never thought you would, much like canon.

The series is a bunch of interconnected short fic with two long segments. The first one is from one from Lan Sizhui's point of view: "Lan Yuan has lived most of his sixteen years not knowing the man who raised him as a toddler. So when Wei Ying suddenly comes back to life, both Lan Yuan and his dad, Lan Zhan, work to make room in their lives for him. Too bad he has a science project due this week..."

The second one is from Wei Ying's: "Wei Ying comes back from the dead, all of a sudden. Over the course of a week, he remembers what it is to be alive, and what it is to be in love." (Not gonna lie, I kind of love the parts where Wei Ying is adjusting to no longer having the body of a twenty year old, in terms of sleeping for a week on the couch now has CONSEQUENCES.)

But it was the very first part of the series that hooked me, where Lan Zhan falls in love. And it's not who you think.

"Aren’t there classes for this? Aren’t there books a person is supposed to read for this? Should he have done research? Shouldn’t he have prepared? But ah, it’s too late now, and there’s a baby in his arms, face to the shoulder of Lan Zhan’s cable-knit sweater."

I finished the typeset for this fic back in the fall of 2022, and it was in my pile of text blocks to finish binding for Binderary, an annual fanbinding challenge, in February, 2023. It was the last one left. I looked at the text block. I looked at my bookcloth and paper options for the cover. I pulled out two options... and couldn't decide. It turns out, I just didn't have the right combination of colours.

In the interim, I obtained some Duo book cloth, a particular line that has a two-tone colour shift to it, gorgeous in person, but really hard to photograph. The company that makes it, sadly, has gone out of business, and the final group orders for it obtained near epic status among @renegadeguild circles. (It has its own lore. And fic.)

Which is to say, the spine of this book is Duo Dragonfly, and the cover is chiyogami paper. The endbands were my first time trying a double core, in sewing thread, and are a little bit shaky as a result, though I'm pretty happy with the colour combo. Lettering stencilled in gold acrylic paint.

I was going for an ethereal, heavenly feel with the title page, and a shout out to the Toronto setting with the spread on the table of contents. (Hello, fellow Canadians!)

A few interior shots here, and a vaguely Lan cloud used for the section breaks. I did a bit of formatting to mimic a newspaper column for the article that starts off "Thirty-Seven," the long section from Wei Ying's point of view.

I am pretty happy with how it turned out, and glad I held off to get the match that felt right for the cover materials!

And behind the cut for spoilers... the last sentence in the short chapter right before Wei Ying's death gets me RIGHT IN THE FEELS every single time I read it.

Lan Zhan held onto A-Yuan! He held him for fifteen minutes, and then for the next sixteen years it took for Wei Ying to come back from getting milk at the 7-11! Oh my heart. Nnngh.

(Also, I slid in a fan art illustration for the fic from GreenTeaPikachu, so enjoy the drunk!LanZhan Does Parkour as an added bonus for clicking through!)

[skania]

Akane Nation, how are we feeling at seeing this scene finally getting animated? 😭

Personally I quite liked it! On a week where the manga gave me absolutely nothing to work with (thanks for nothing Aka 🤡), I'm glad that the anime is there to give us some wins.

In particular, I'm glad they confirmed what I've always said about this panel:

While the manga keeps it subtle by mostly showing memories that are about Akane rather than Akane herself, the anime forgoes all subtlety and keeps Akane front and center throughout the sequence. So that was pretty nice to see!

On another note, the anime has also confirmed that Aqua's smile was always meant to be just him smiling at his happy memories rather than him smiling at Kana. Just like the first episode confirmed that the scene where he's looking at her and Taiki was never meant to be about him being jealous lol In this manga of playing at filling-the-blanks, we win some and we lose some. So I'm glad I interpreted these three scenes correctly, at least.

Plus, little details like these are nice to see because Aka is working closely with the anime, so I believe we can trust them to make Aka's intentions behind each scene even clearer than they were in the manga.

Case in point, right after we get Akane telling Aqua that she will bear the painful things together with him, we get this anime-original easter-egg mentioning Hikaru and Ai (Hoshino):

Moving onto the manga, it is interesting that Memcho's chapter was also about her dropping her façade and being more honest. So it seems that we will continue with the "Making amends, overcoming regrets and moving towards the future" theme that was established in Chapter 152.

Aka's pacing remains as frustrating as always, though. The Nino reveal is done in half-a-chapter, but Memcho gets an entire chapter to herself and we get a break right after 🤡

Sadly, this confirms that the anime connection Aka had in mind was just Akane dropping the Ai act right before she goes at it full force in the anime. It'd have been soooo cool if we had gotten a flashback to Akane finding out about Nino this week to match Akane finding out about Ai being Aqua's mom in the anime, but that would've been too much to ask for apparently 😭

Guess now all we can do is wait for Akane to show up in the manga again. At least we will have another Akane-filled Episode to look forward to next week, so there's that!

[maiko-san]

TADC x Robotic Jester! Reader (Part 3)

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

Continuation of the previous parts :D, I literally forgot one character that is Kaufmo. Even though he's not in the pilot, the poor guy deserves love! I know this is a short chapter but Kaufmo kinda deserves one tbh. Too many Jax x readers around lol.

ft. Kaufmo

Warning : slight angst

There's nothing much to do around the circus as of late, Caine had been busy with his work/project and the others are doing their own things or minding their own business.

You're in Gangle's room and watch her draw characters from anime, even though she couldn't remember much about the characters or how they used to look like. Every time she draws, she feels that she is getting the characters so right!

"Look, here (Y/o/n)!" Gangle smiles as she holds up her finished drawing of an animal with a large red hat.

"A raccoon?" you questioned tilting your head to the side. "No, silly! It's a reindeer! A doctor too!" Gangle said. "Hehehe~ I'm just messing with ya, Ribbons!" you said.

"Hey, look what I've drawn!" you said. Holding up a badly drawn of yourself with Gangle with the word 'Weeb Besties' on top with hearts all over. Gangle gasps and takes the paper from you, "I'm going to pin it on my wall!" she said, hugging the drawing. She walks over to her board and pins it on the large board filled with all kinds of arts she had done.

"(Y/o/n), let's play mario—" before Gangle could finish, both of you were teleported to the stage.

Turns out, there were new people on the stage.

Kaufmo

A clown?! Gasps! A stage buddy! Yippe :D

Kaufmo, a name that was given to the newcomer by Caine. At first, the poor guy was in a panic mess, well who wouldn't when you enter a whole different dimension in an instant.

"What—wh—where am I?! Why can't I get this thing off?????!!!" Kaufmo shrieks as he begin pulling on his face, Jax snorts "Try pulling harder, maybe you could rip—" you instantly slaps your hand on the rabbits's mouth to shut him up.

LICK— "Waa! Eew! Gross!" you cringe when Jax licks your palm as the purple rabbit gives you a smug grin.

Caine had taken Kaufmo on an instant tour around the place.

The clown didn't take it too well.

The guy was in a nervous wreck and running around the tent to find an escape from the digital realm.

"Exit! Where's the exit!" he shrieked. Jax on the other hand kinda had enough with his screaming and left, leaving you and the others.

"Alright, let's calm down and take a deep breath" Ragatha said as she walked over to Kaufmo to calm him down.

Due to Ragatha's expertise at calming people, Kaufmo finally calms down.

Everyone introduced themselves to the clown and it was your turn, "Hello, there Kaufmo! My name is (Y/o/n) the robotic jester! Hey, wanna hear a joke?" you said with a grin.

Somehow both of you became partners in the circus!

You and Kaufmo would do tricks together and tell jokes to each other, even Kaufmo's jokes weren't the best ( most of his jokes were consists of dad jokes btw ). Being a good partner, you help him improve!

Like Kinger, Kaufmo sees you as a good friend. Like you do with Gangle, you protect him from Jax's pranks and mockeries.

But even when you try to get his mind off the exit, it won't stop him or change his mind. Kaufmo were glad that you wanted to help him but....

He really wants to go home.....

"(Y/o/n)....I'm thankful that you want to help me but...I miss home and...my family. I know they are waiting for me" Kaufmo said. with a deep frown on his face. You stare into his black beady eyes as you rub your arm and look away.

"Don't you miss yours, (Y/o/n)?" your eyes widen slightly at Kaufmo's question, "I wish I could be like you, ya know....Like don't worry about anything at all? All of your feelings are so genuine unlike the others, like you belong in this place....." Kaufmo said, fiddling with his gloves.

"Well, I— uh" you were cut off by a voice.

"Now, what's with all of these frowning I see?" a voice echoes, both of you look up to see the moon looking down at the two of you.

"Oh, w-we were just talking...." you said, rubbing the back of your neck "I-I I think I want to go back to my room, see you tomorrow I guess..." you said as you speed your way back to your room. On your way, you see Jax walking by and he sees you. He folds his arms behind him and extends his leg once you got close.

He trips you as you fall on the ground, but you were too deep in your thoughts to even bother about Jax tripping you.

A question mark appears on Jax's head as he watches you enter your designated room, slamming the door shut. Jax's grin left his lips, he never sees you acting like that before and it kinda bothers him to see you like that.

"Pft....they'll get over it" he snorts as he walks away but he still couldn't shake off the feelings.

Once you're in your room, you lock the door and lean on the wooden door before sliding down and sit on the floor. You cover your face with your hands and cry.....

Now that Kaufmo said it, "I u-understand how it felt...." you mumbled to yourself. Yes, you also miss your family.

Especially your beloved uncle, you couldn't remember what he look like anymore and every time you want to remember, it was all a blur in your mind.....

He was the only family you had left.....

You'd hope that he's doing alright....

You look up at a drawn picture of yourself (avatar form) and a man with a question mark on his face, both of you are holding hands.

There is a word written, "Greatest Uncle in the world".

"I...I miss you" you sobbed, rubbing away your tears.

[quirkwizard]

Battle Report: A Retrospective on the Final War Arc

The Final War Arc is finally over. It's been a wild ride. And while I had my issues with it, I ultimately think was a good arc. I think it may go somewhere in the 7/10 to 8/10 range for my tier list of arcs. Who knows though. With all of that done though, I wanted to take a chance to look back on this arc and talk about what's transpired. Now, is this a little premature? Kind of. At the time of writing and posting this, the epilogue is still going on. The series has not ended and any of my complaints may be null and void after all of this is over. However, the arc is massive. It's eighty chapters long with dozens of plotlines and characters all mashing up against one another. I want to take the time out of focus on everything that has happened and leave the epilogue to it's own post.

And with that context, it is a lot to cover. Even if it's not the epilogue, it's still everything from chapter 343 to 423. So this post is going to be more disjointed, stream of conscious writing about my thoughts on specific parts of the arc that are worth talking about instead of doing some deep dive on the whole thing. Sure, I think the civilian stuff with Eri and everyone else in the bunker is nice in it's own way and I think how the pilots are used is hilarious, but that isn't enough for me to talk about. If you want me to discuss something in particular or expand on something here, I may talk about it later or add it to the post. With all of that being cleared up, my retrospective on the finale of the Final War Arc.

Shoto vs Dabi: This is the first fight of the arc, and we are definitely starting strong. I've already gushed about how much I enjoy this bit ever since it happened, so I will keep this brief. Of course, seeing Dabi back and all of his spiteful glory is great. Though, if we're being honest, the real start is Shoto and his new Super Move. The Phospher reveal is such a cool power-up for Shoto, and it works great in so many ways. It's a unique and clever way to counteract Dabi's firepower without just trying to overpower him. And it all leads to this beautiful and distinct art of flowing ice. It's so cool. And the best part is that it acts as the perfect cap to his character arc of trying to define himself, combining the two halves of himself into a combination that is completely his own. That's not even getting into the numerous references to phosphor, giving this even more depth.

All For One vs Endeavor: In spite of having a lot of focus, I don't have a lot to say about the forest fight. It's a lot of the same stuff as the Tomura fight, though not as egregious. I will say that I think Enji's bits in this arc are rather underrated. Having Enji fight All For One is a good way to wrap up that part of this character, finally growing past his own insecurities relating to Izuku and All Might while still achieving something that would make him worthy of being the top pro. The flashback about his father dying saving someone adds so much context to who Endeavor is as a person, and I'm really glad we got it. And having Endeavor burn away the past version of himself is such a cool image and a good moment for his character. Honestly, I think Enji continues his hot streak as one of the best written characters in this story.

Tomura vs Everyone: I didn't much care for this part. It felt very repetitive. Characters attack Tomura. It doesn't do anything. Tomura starts monologuing. Repeat. They couldn't do anything to Tomura, but as Hori has shown, he's reluctant to kill off named characters. It's why, despite getting ragdolled, none of them died. It didn't feel like the threat of death was looming over any of them, making this big battle feel relatively low-stakes. So we're stuck in this cycle of Tomura beating all of them up for dozens of chapters, only for neither side to really get anywhere. It feels like we're stalling. That Hori simply needed Izuku out of the picture to delay the final fight for him and Tomura. Which, sure, I get, but he could have at least made what was happening with Tomura more interesting. What's worse is that this is so much time spent with AFO Tomura. A character who isn't nearly as interesting as some of his parts and is a watered-down version of both.

Spinner's Assault: This is by far the worst part of the entire finale. Let's ignore the politics and message and how they may or may not apply to the real world. This mini-arc is focused on Koda, Shoji, and Spinner. All characters I like to varying degrees, but none feel like they have earned this kind of focus. The whole mutant discrimination plotline feels woefully underdeveloped, so having it be the center point of this part feels jarring. And saying it only happens outside the city is such a handwave. Not only does that make no sense, as bigotry can happen just as much, if not more, in metro areas, but it has little showing within the world. Hori, if you wanted to set this up, maybe you should have actually had some major focus on stories out of the city. So having so much time dedicated to it just feels wasteful and frustrating. I could go on a longer rant, but I will save it for another time.

Bakugou's "Death": What a waste. Come on now, did any of you really think Bakugou died here? Or would stay dead? And having his resurrection tied to his clustered sweat feels like a slap in the face of Edgeshot. The guy who reduced himself to a thin string just to save Bakugou's life. On that note, having Edgeshot be the one to save Bakugou feels… out of place. Edgeshot is a pretty minor character with no connection to Bakugou. Many figured that this sudden change would lead to some boost for Bakugou, but it didn't. So why Edgeshot? Why couldn't Best Jeanist be the one to do it, the one that is more important to both Bakugou and the audience? And this doesn't feel like a major change for Bakugou. If you have your character die and come, there should be some greater change to them or how they act, but it doesn't. At least, nothing as major as a death and resurrection should have. The biggest effect it has is on Tomura, bringing him out of the control of All For One, and Izuku, showing that he wouldn't lose control and break again. Once again, Bakugou's grievous injury is more important to the characters around him.

Rewound All For One: One of the more controversial parts of the arc. Is it a reach for Garaki to make the drug? Kind of. Is it annoying to still have All For One around? To a degree. Does it lead to some frustrating moments like All For One not unleashing his biggest area-clearing attack to start with when he knows he's on a time limit? Yes. However, I ultimately feel as though this does more good for the story than bad. By giving All For One this timer, it gives him a more definitive weakness to exploit and a ticking counter in the form of his body degenerating. And by keeping him around, it gives him a chance to go against Endeavor, Toshinori, and Bakugou. That way, they're completing their own arcs without feeling like any of their efforts are wasted or overstepping each other's time in the ring with All For One.

Dabi's Quirk: This is going to be a more personal annoyance, but I'm really frustrated with how Hori handled Dabi's Quirk. First off, him instantly using Shoto's technique against him is such nonsense. You're telling me that seeing it is enough for him to replicate it with no training?And him suddenly making ice for himself also makes zero sense. He hasn't shown anything like that before, and nothing about his power implies that he could. And don't tell me it's literally Rei's Quirks, but that makes even less sense. I could explain that as an evolution of his ice resistance, but that's more me trying to make sense of it. Could you justify it as being Shoto's sibling and their powers having similar mechanics and traits? Sure, but a lot of it comes across more as a convivence to keep Dabi's corpse moving. At least his design is cool.

Wasted Students: While the manga actually does a good job of distributing attention, there are some students that I feel were shafted. A special mention goes to Sero, Ojiro, and Sato, whom Hori pretty obviously just shoved together to get them out of the way. The ones I'm thinking about are Iida and Momo. Momo was one of the 1-A characters who had some arc, so having her be relegated to a living printer feels wasteful. However, I can at least forgive this a little. Her moment was during the PLF War, and her position makes sense. But shoot, Tenya was done dirty in this arc. He doesn't have any really cool moments of his own and very little in the way of character moments. I thought he was going to have something done with Stain, but no. Most of his time in this arc is spent supporting Shoto, quite literally in the case of the Ice Jet maneuver. Wait, why was he even fighting Dabi? Tenya himself admits he's a bad match for this, so why was he there? 

Shiketsu Students: This is one of the few moments in the arc that actually surprised me, and it's a welcome surprise at that. As someone who thought that the Shiketsu students were interesting but underdeveloped, it was cool seeing them act as reinforcements. What was even a better surprise was Camie's "Glamour" trick with the fake Hawks. That has got to be the funniest movement in this entire arc, bar none. Of the three, Inasa gets the most focus, and I think he does pretty well with it. While I do like his soft cap on his arc with the Todoroki's, reflecting his growth as well as their own, I really enjoy how much he just shuts All For One down this arc. All For One is trying to do these big speeches and one-liners, and Inasa is out here yelling him down like any other two-bit criminal. It's equal parts hilarious and awesome.

Tokoyami:  On the flip side of my statement about students, I think Tokoyami is really good in this arc. Tokoyami is one of the less prominent characters in terms of development and actual emotional moments to support him. The arc did a good job of giving him some kind of arc for his character. About how he sees his powers and how hard they are to control. And I'm going to be totally transparent here, I just think full-power Dark Shadow is really cool. There isn't anything deep or nuanced here. Seeing this giant shadow mecha loom over the whole battlefield and make All For One go pale is super sick. It's not just all action and character, either. He probably had one of the best reactions to anything ever in the whole series when illusion Hawks "died". So in spite of my issues with the other students, at least Tokoyami was done well.

The Big Three: Yeah, I didn't really care for what was happening with a lot of the Big Three. They ultimately fall into the same issues as everyone else in the UA Battle Zone that I talked about before. And while their massive railgun attack was cool on paper, it all amounted to nothing. It all feels like such pointless fluff to tide the user's over. It's not even like they have anything interesting going on character-wise, either. Mirio is easily the biggest victim of this. Ever since Mirio got his Quirk back, he hasn't really been given any chance to act outside of the costume or really be his own character. Seriously, the biggest moment he has is him acting as the butt of the joke in order to distract Tomura so Izuku can get in. Was there really no better way to do that? And as much as I want to remember him for other stuff he did, like yelling at Izuku, there really isn't anything else that sticks out.

Gearshift: Again, a more personal gripe, but one that bugs me a lot. I really don't like "Gearshift" as a power. Like "Fa Jin", it doesn't feel like it expands on any of Izuku's capabilities, only doubling down on what is already there. Unlike "Fa Jin", this had way more potential that went unused. Being able to alter the speed of an object or person is such an interesting concept. And for all of the hype surrounding it, it doesn't feel like it's used to its full potential. Really? We couldn't think of a better Quirk for him. Or at least come up with something more interesting for this one to do? All it's used for is to give a power boost to Izuku and make him go faster. The only time it's used to do anything else is when he uses it to speed up Bakugou. Why couldn't we get more stuff like that? Or at least maybe giving it a chance to interact with Izuku's other quirks for combinations?

Gigantomachia Battle: I like this well enough. As much as the reappearance of what's his face frustrates me, that's more of a carryover from my problems with Midnight's death and not the fault of this arc. It's a good follow-up for the brief arc with Mina and I like how much her new move ties into their growth with its name. Plus, it gave Shinso a cool moment that felt natural without stepping on anyone else's toes. I will say that I'm pretty confused at the sudden turn with Gigantomachia, who only really seems mournful over what All For One did once. And the one time he did, it seemed more regretful that someone as pathetic as Tomura was the successor. Otherwise, he just seemed like a loyal thug without much personality.

Todorokis vs Dabi: For the dramatic resolution of the Todoroki family storyline, I find myself having very little say about it. It's good. I really like seeing the feral, demented version of Dabi who is barely held together. Enji's lines about people watching him and taking responsibility become twisted with Dabi's view of him and his actions. I like the monologue Shoto gives as he's flying to stop Dabi. I guess my issue is that the rest of it doesn't stand out as much to me. And the actual resolution doesn't feel any different from the way Shoto fought him. It came across like the earlier fight with him was just there to keep him occupied so Enji could fight All For One and didn't serve any real purpose for the characters. That there needed to be this resolution for everyone else in the Todoroki family and for Dabi as well, but doing it like this lessens some of the punch. 

Uraraka vs Toga: One of my favorite parts of the arc. This entire section was such a dark horse for me, someone who didn't put a lot of stock in the Uraraka and Toga storyline. It shocked me how invested I was in the fight. Just seeing how hard Uraraka fights is so enthralling to watch, going through so much to help Toga. And this is one of the few points in the series where Awakenings work, with an Awakening that actually feels earned and relevant to the character at that. All because she wanted to help and connect with Toga in order to save her. And if Toga did die here, I wouldn't mind because I think it fits. She was able to live and die as her own person, making her own choices. All in all, it's a highlight of the arc and a great capstone for both of the characters.

Aoyama's Section: Why does Aoyama have so much focus on him? I don't dislike Aoyama, and I'm glad one of the more minor characters is getting attention in a way that feels relevant to who they are. I just don't think he really needed this much space to himself, having his own battlefield and major villain to fight, with little to no other focus on other characters. Having him stand up against All For One felt like more than enough of a final beat for his character arc. It was him acting in spite of his fears, facing down the scariest person in the entire series. Hagakure's presence bugs me here as well, since it just reeks of convivence. And man, giving out yet another Awakening? Were these not supposed to be rare? It's yet another example of an Awakening that barely feels any different from before and doesn't feel earned.

Toshinori Yagi vs All For One: Unlike a lot of fans, I wasn't as bothered by this part. On paper, Toshinori fighting All For One with a massive mecha suit kind of flies in the face of one of the core ideas of the series. That people without Quirks cannot be heroes. However, the story makes it clear that this is something that cannot stand up against All For One, requires all the resources of his decades of hero work, has decades of experience as the top hero, and he's only doing as well because he's fighting All For One because he's acting irrationally. My only reservation is that All Might is using parts inspired by the students. While I think these are cool, it seems like this is supposed to be his big moment as a teacher. And... I guess the story wants us to believe that. I don't know. It feels like Hori hasn't really put in enough work to have this be a satisfying payoff. He only really has two or so scenes involving the other students outside of Izuku. I believe he's a proper mentor to Izuku, sure, but as a real teacher for the whole class? Not really. Don't get me wrong, the idea and execution of it were fine, but the set-up needed more legwork.

Stain's "Moment": Yeah, this is something I can't forgive. Stain is such a major figure in My Hero Academia, both in and out of universe. He's the guy who changed the whole trajectory of the story and brought a whole new level of respect for the story. Hori brings him back to restore Toshinori's motivation and give them plans for All For One. And then he comes in for a big moment in the final fight. Only to be ragdolled, having accomplished nothing. There was no final moment of sacrifice, no heroic last stand. Just slapped aside and exploded. Not only does All For One's escaping feel like a mass convenience, just so happening to have a Quirk to push all the blood out of his body, but it's so disappointing for Stain. It feels like an afterthought. Like Hori remembered that Stain was around and threw him in to die. He doesn't even get a moment in the ghost realm. Come on, Hori. If you went through the trouble of having his Quirk stolen, why not do something more with it?

All For One's Backstory: Yeah, I still think this part of the story is hilarious. This is so over the top and dark that it comes full circle into being funny again. All For One's backstory feels like some edgy teenager fanfiction. Like he was born to a drug-addled mother, literally drained the life out of her to the point she died. He was nearly eaten by rats at birth, he was the real first Quirk user, he's been killing people since he was four years old. It was to the point that I thought All For One was lying about it to make himself seem cooler or more inhuman than he really was. But no, we're actually supposed to believe all of this and take it seriously. I really have to wonder what Hori was thinking with this. Is it supposed to show All For One as evil to the core? But doesn't that go against the idea that it's nurture over nature? Or maybe it's to show that the worst circumstances made the worst evil? Okay, then why is All For One so unapologetically evil, supposedly even before he was born?

Bakugou vs All For One: I find myself having very little to say about any of this. It's a big-ole fight scene with Bakugou and All For One. It doesn't feel like it really completes anything from Bakugou arc outside of his hang-up with All For One and All Might retiring. Yeah, I'm glad it got tied up and that Bakugou got to save Toshinori, but it hasn't felt all that relevant to his overall arc. Maybe I'm downplaying this a lot more than I should, but that's just how I see it. The only major hangup I have is with the whole "people wanting it bad enough changed the future for All Might." I chose to interpret this as more metaphorical than literal. Like everything that's motivating Bakugou is pushing him forward, or that all of the steps everyone took up to this point defied fate. Otherwise, we are getting into some stuff the series never talks about and never explains. At least this fight gave us the "Bakugou deals bonus damage to children" meme.

Dream Hawks: Okay, this isn't so much a real problem, but I feel like this is a big missed opportunity: why isn't Stain the one getting the vestiges to rebel? You know, the guy who had such focus and determination that he was able to ward off an entire squad of top heroes from attacking him with sheer force of will. The guy who ironically sparked a whole villain renaissance with his words about the rot at the core of the world of heroes. It'd give his death some purpose and give him one final amazing scene against All For One, giving him a chance to redeem himself after all the problems he caused the world with his dogma. Ironically, he'd be dying a hero and stopping one of the biggest threats to the world. But sure, give another scene to Hawks. It's not like he's been already been a heavy focus of the arc.

Izuku vs Tomura: We've been waiting for this fight for a while, and it did not disappoint me. Not only is the part where we finally get Tomura back, immediately making this fight far more enjoyable, but the fight itself is so cool. You can feel the struggle, exhaustion, and desperation in each of Izuku's panels. We get to see more of feral Izuku. Who doesn't want to see more of feral Izuku? What's better is that we actually get Izuku using some interesting strategies against Tomura, like pushing up the rocks to stop the spread of "Decay" while using it as cover to perform a counter attack. And having this be topped off with the sacrifice of "One For All" makes this all feel that much more harrowing of an experience, with Izuku piece and piece of himself just at a chance of victory. It's one of the few final fights of a series where I was actually worried about the main character.

Shared Dreamspace: This might just be my favorite moment in the whole arc. We get all the shared visions as our two protagonists begin to understand each other more. And for all of this talking, it never once tries to excuse Tomura for what he did. Even Tomura talks about how he doesn't regret what he's doing or why he's destroying everything. He's doing it all for himself and the League. And while Izuku can understand this, he can't condone it, and it doesn't excuse what Tomura did. It's a good way for both sides to get their points across in order to get some kind of resolution without feeling like it's breaking either of them. It's all about understanding and learning from each other, which is what this conflict has been all about. It's all so well done and pretty much exactly how I imagined a confrontation like this would go down between these two.

All For One's Return: Is it kind of frustrating that All For One has returned yet again? Sure. I can understand people getting sick and tired of him, now more than ever. However, I think it's explained well enough not to bother me, and ultimately, the only way for the story to have its cake and eat it as well. It's a clean way to remove Tomura from the story without having to dirty Izuku's hands. Tomura has made it pretty clear that he has zero intention of ever stopping, and redemption was not on the table for him. It also gives Izuku a final fight against All For One, who, while not as personal to Izuku, is the biggest evil in the series. On top of that, it fits with the idea of everyone coming together to be the greatest hero by getting their licks in on All For One. It's what the story has been pushing for the whole time: One For All fighting back against All For One.

Oboro, Aizawa, and Yamada: As much as I wanted to get excited about this part, it did feel woefully undercooked. Oboro's condition and Aizawa and Present Mic's reaction to it feel pretty minor in the grand scheme of things. They only get one chapter to hash things out, and it feels very rushed. Which is odd because it has some of the biggest impact on the arc itself, with Kurogiri teleporting everyone around and being the lynchpin in the two major paradigm shifts in the arc. It's Spinner's whole motivation for attacking the hospital, it removed Aizawa from the playing field at UA, and it ends up sending all of the doubles from the island to the fight in the forest. What we got was nice, especially Kurogiri saying he wants Tomura back when they are all fighting All For One, but sadly, it wasn't enough.

The Final Run-Up: Look, I am the biggest sucker for moments like this. Izuku is still standing in spite of losing both arms. Then everyone is coming out of the portals to the final fight, all firing out their attacks to go down. It's like Endgame, but actually thematically relevant to everyone coming together to beat the greatest threat to the world. And the part where all the good guys are helping the protagonist forward just so they can deliver that final blow. I can't help but feel hyped up as each of the other students and heroes fight back against All For One. We get All For One going out like a total punk. And we can share a final vision between Tomura and Izuku. I cannot say anything analytical or in-depth about this. I just think it hits all these different sweet spots in me while still ending things on a good note, and it brings me so much joy.

[hwaslayer]

project: make you love me (jyh) | five.

♣︎ spotify playlist | series masterlist

—summary: yunho can’t stand how you’re so wrapped up in the notorious campus fuckboy, park seonghwa. he would gladly love you the way you deserve, despite being shy, awkward and the complete opposite of seonghwa. thus, when he finds himself spending more time with you over literature reviews and random study sessions, he decides to take on the challenge to win you over.

—pairing: jeong yunho x f. reader x park seonghwa

—genre: (18+ - minors dni) strangers/friends to lovers, college au | fluff, angst, smut

—word count: 4.5k

—chapter content/warnings: some cussing, witty & sweet yunho,  seungmin being the true best friend that he is, college mcdonalds runs lol, yunho and oc talk a bit about the past, they also talk about seonghwa a bit, quick flashback scene - crying & heartbreak :/ , yunho really thinks oc is the cutest, i promise we are making progress even though it seems slow!! 

It's been a couple of days since you last heard from Seonghwa, and to be quite frank, you don't really care much for it. It does suck, and it does hurt. But, at this point, you've done enough on your end and you can say you've always tried.

Seonghwa? Not so much.

"I'm fucked." You let out a heavy sigh as your face falls into the palms of your hands, stressing about your literature paper due.

You barely have the two paragraphs done, and your notes are all over the place.

What are you even saying anymore?

You're going in circles, and Dr. Nelson will know you didn't even try to make this work. The best part? This wasn't the only major paper assigned for the semester— you're not even sure how you'll tackle the other ones without leaning on Yunho for help.

"Doing okay there?" You hear a familiar, husky voice, followed by the sound of a bag being placed on the shared tabletop. You look up to see Yunho, and you're really relieved he's here. Even if you weren't going to try and bother him much about this paper, his presence was comforting.

"I don't know."

"That's not good." He chuckles before sliding his laptop out of his bag. "How can I help you?"

"Well, first of all, I'm really glad you're here."

"It is the booth I frequently work at." He teases with a smirk. "I see you've grown a liking to it."

"It's nice and quiet. Plus, I know I can find you here." He smiles and nods. "Second, it's Dr. Nelson."

"The paper?"

"Yes." You whine, again placing your head down onto the desk. "Why is this so difficult? Words are not coming to me, and even if they do, do they even make sense? I don't even know—" You mumble on and on, and Yunho can barely make out what you're saying. But, it's clear you're distressed and Yunho can't help but be a little endeared seeing this.

At least you care enough to do your best.

"Y/N." He calls for your name softly. "Slow down, it's gonna be okay. Let me know how I can help you." You finally look up with a pout.

"I don't want to rely on you."

"You're not relying on me when you ask for help. It's okay." He tries to lighten the mood. "Now seriously, how can I help? Do I need to run and buy you a mochi donut?" You giggle and shake your head.

"No, no." You pass along your laptop to let him view the screen. "Read this introduction. Does it make sense?" He furrows his brows a bit while reading your paragraph but nods to acknowledge what you've written so far.

"It does. Why do you think it doesn't make sense?"

"I guess I'm just not sure where to take this."

"Hm. You should give yourself more credit than that." He smiles at you. "You've already stated a couple of general ideas here. Why don't you take those and develop your body paragraphs that way? Those obviously stood out to you the most, so I'm sure you'll remember where to find it in the book."

"True."

"Don't second-guess yourself. I know it's hard because Dr. Nelson is in your head, but you really have the right idea. You just have to give him more than what he knows. Almost like—" Yunho tilts his head for a second as if to show he's deep in thought. "—Like okay, do you journal?"

"Yes, sometimes. Not all the time."

"You don't have to give me details, but what do you journal about? Just in general." Yunho patiently waits and keeps his eyes on you while you think. 

"Feelings. Thoughts. Emotions."

"Right. When you're sad, you talk about why you're sad and how it affects you, your day, mood. Everything. You write about all these details and elaborate on the feeling."

"Yeah, exactly."

"Then, it's just like that. You already write about these things in your personal life. It's the same elaboration, same kind of thought process." You nod as Yunho pushes your laptop back towards you. "What I'm trying to say is, don't think much about it. Just write what comes to mind and don't overthink it."

"You know what, you're right. I need to stop overthinking and just do it." You grab at your laptop, feeling better after Yunho's advice. "Thanks, Yunho. I needed that." 

"Happy to help." 

"Are you going to leave soon?" He shakes his head.

"I was hoping to get some work done." You look at him and he catches the way your eyes light up. 

"You're going to stay?" You ask him again for some kind of reassurance.

"Mhm." A smile tugs at the corner of your lips just as you start to type away more confidently.

"Sorry I took over your booth." You say with your eyes glued to your screen, making Yunho chuckle.

"I'll share it with you." You let out a tiny laugh at this response.

During the entire two hours you spent with Yunho at the booth, he was diligently finishing up his own paper before switching gears to focus on the remaining aspects of his other project. In between, he would patiently read your paper when you asked, giving you his feedback and some areas of improvement. You took them positively, adding in Yunho's tips into your paper and finishing off a good chunk before it could get way too late in the evening.

Of course, there comes a point where you get hungry and restless. That moment feels like now, especially when the words are starting to blur together in the last bit of the body. Oh well.

Yunho must be good at reading people though, because he picks up on the dwindling excitement, the dying energy, your tone change; the way you restlessly shake your legs and shift in your seat.

It's time to call it a night. 

"Did you drive today?" You shake your head.

"No. I'm stuck here until Seungmin is done with his group project. But, I guess it's good since it'll force me to work on more things."

"Do you have to work on more things?" You giggle.

"Yes, but not really? They're due next week, and they're quick assignments."

"Cool. Down for some McDonalds, then? I can drive us. I can bring you home afterwards too, or back here. Whichever works." Yunho zips up his bag and patiently waits for your response. "No pressure, though."

"I'm down for some McDonald's." You chuckle, packing up your things. "I think I've done enough, right?" Yunho laughs a bit while watching you.

"You've done more than enough for today, Y/N. You're almost done with your paper. That's big progress."

"Thank you." You smile at him while zipping up your bag. "Alright, I'm ready." Yunho gestures for you to slide out of the booth first, with him following behind. He twirls his keychain around his finger as the two of you walk out of the library— the air hitting your face just as the doors swing open; cold, but refreshing. 

"Cold?" Yunho looks down at you, almost ready to shed off his light jacket in order to keep you comfortable.

"Um, no. I should be good." You look up at him. "Besides, I don't wanna keep taking your jackets." He chuckles.

"I don't mind. Just let me know."

"Okay." It falls silent for a bit before you break the silence, kicking the rocks beneath your shoes. "How's your project coming along?"

"Hm." He hums. "It's going. As good as it gets for now, I guess."

"You and Yeosang don't team up for these things?" He laughs.

"Not really. We've talked about assignments before, but it's not a hot topic in the apartment. I think I might have brainstormed around Yeosang but he doesn't do much besides give off the usual 'sounds good to me.'"

"Mm, I see. He's quite the mystery." You gently nudge his arm. "You both are."

"Yeah, can't deny that." He lets out a small breathy laugh, flashing his key fob towards his car so that it unlocks. "Got lucky with parking today."

"That's always the best." You chuckle. 

"Speaking of roommates, Seungmin knows you're coming along right? Don't want him to go looking for you."

"He knows. Trust me, even if he didn't, he wouldn't look for me." He smiles a bit when he sees your phone light up in your hands, signaling a text coming through. "Actually, speak of the devil."

"Oh, so he wouldn't look for you?" Yunho asks in a teasing manner, making the heat rise to your cheeks.

"It really must be your lucky day cause he doesn't always do this."

"He's your friend, he wouldn't leave you."

"He wouldn't! But, he'd also assume Chaery or Soobin might have already picked me up before asking." You laugh. "Can't stand him, but love him."

"Cute." Yunho says just as he drives off to the nearest McDonald's. It's only an exit away from where campus us located, and it's a quick drive being that it's pretty late in the evening. 

seungmin: bro where r u

seungmin: r u with park seonghwa

you: noooo! sorry i was gonna text you but you surprisingly beat me to it

you: i'm with yunho, gonna grab mcdonalds then he'll take me home. want anything?

seungmin: oh, did you guys end up working together in the library? and i'm good on the mcdonalds. ty ☺️

you: mhm! alright. did you finish your project?

seungmin: almost, was looking for you because i wasnt sure if you still wanted to stay and i was gonna take you home. i truly think we'll be here till closing.. 

seungmin: rip me

you: aw seungmo

you: almost done! goodluck! don't worry about me 😬

seungmin: don't worry i'm not

you: lol sick of you, go away

You giggle to yourself as you tuck your phone away and return your attention to the road ahead.

"So, what are you getting?" You turn to Yunho, who is focused on driving carefully with you in his passenger's seat; one hand placed on the wheel, while the other rests on his lap.

"The entire menu at this point." You laugh. "I'm starving."

"You didn't eat today?"

"Barely. Just grabbed something small in between the break I had."

"Yunho." You look at him with concern. "That's not good! You have to eat."

"Yeah, I know. Trust me, I'll never pass up the opportunity on purpose. Just had bad time management today, I guess." 

"Should I send you reminders?" You joke, but he shrugs.

"No, but that'd be cute if you did." He laughs. "But seriously, I'm usually better."

"Okay, Yunho. I'm holding you to it." You give him a toothless smile just as he pulls up into the McDonald's drive-thru. 

"You know what you want?" He asks as he momentarily stops in front of the menu before pulling up to the main drive-thru speaker.

"Mhm. Can you please just get me the 10 pc nugget meal?"

"Anything else?" You shake your head and wait patiently while Yunho relays the orders. He pulls up to the first window to pay before he heads to the second to grab the orders. He gently hands the two bags over to you before setting the drinks down in his cupholders. "How much do I owe you?" You ask as he pulls out of the lot.

"Don't worry about it."

"Yunho? Stop. Let me pay."

"Nope." He glances over at you as you cross your arms and furrow your brows. "Still a no." He laughs.

"Come on, really?"

"It's not a big deal, Y/N. I got you." You sigh.

"Fine. I'll just have to get you brunch again."

"Don't. Please just let me treat you to something. You don't have to repay me." You look at him and find that he's serious. So, you nod and let it go.

"Where are we going?" You ask when you realize you're traveling in the opposite direction of your apartment complex.

"Oh, sorry. I know this view, and I thought I could take you there while we eat. I-Is that okay with you?" He clears his throat again and taps his fingers against the wheel. "I-I mean, I don't mind driving back. Really, it's whatever you wanna—"

"Yunho, please." You giggle. "I would love to eat at a view."

"Okay. Cool." He simply says, relieved that you're down to eat with him at a view. It might sound really cliché and pathetic, but he loves coming here when he just needs a moment—

A moment to breathe,

A moment to just be.

And right now, he feels like you could use that. He doesn't really know what else happens in your personal life, and he doesn't wanna ask unless you start that conversation yourself. But, shit happens. Life is life; we're all going through it. He knows you've been stressing over classes, over Park Seonghwa [even though he damn well doesn't deserve it]. 

Yunho just wants you to relax.

He pulls into a very tiny spot off to the side near a residential and backs into the open area. In front of you is the view of the ocean; the sound of waves crashing against the rocks, the shore. Stars dotting the night sky.

It was a perfectly clear night. A perfect night.

"Hm, I never knew this existed." You say observing the almost hidden, tucked away area of this part of the beach. "It's really pretty."

"I come here if I just need to be away for a second." You nod.

"Perfect place to have your me-time."

"Mhm." He agrees. 

"When are you seeing your mom next?" You suddenly ask as you both dig into your bags and start chomping on a few fries.

"This weekend actually."

"Aw, no Yunho for the weekend."

"It's not like you'll be missing much."

"Hey, don't say that. You're great company, I told you. I meant it." You dip a nugget into your cup of honey mustard sauce. It makes his heart melt when you say things like this, when you unknowingly reassure him in many different ways— when you're so full of positivity and all you do is share it with him, your friends. 

How could Seonghwa be so dumb?

Oh well.

One man's 'trash,' that's another man's come up.

"Thanks." 

"Course." You smile at him before eating some more. "I'm glad you're seeing her this weekend. I'll try not to bother you during family time."

"You're never a bother."

"Still. I want you to give your mom and aunt your undivided attention."

"Ah, they always have my undivided attention." He chuckles and sips his drink. "Are you feeling better, by the way?" Yunho sticks a fry or two into his mouth before looking back out to the view.

"Feeling better?" You tilt your head before it dawns on you. That's right, the call. The fucking call where you whined about Seonghwa even though you really didn't have to, especially to Yunho. "Oh, right. Honestly, yeah. I think I'm okay."

"You sure?"

"Yeah." You sip on your drink. "It was a spur in the moment kind of thing. I didn't really think much about it at the time and acted on what I felt at that second. But you're right, I didn't need to feel guilty. There was no reason to."

"There wasn't." He looks at you. "Have you two talked?" You shake your head.

"No, we haven't. It's fine, though. I'm surprisingly.. not bothered by it like I used to be." You let out a small sigh. "I used to be really bothered by not hearing from him. I used to cave during every disagreement we had and I'd run back to him."

"Maybe this is you moving on." Yunho shrugs. "Like I said, I wouldn't know much about things like this. But, I can only imagine it gets tiring."

"Yeah." Is all you respond with before calling his name. "Yunho?"

"Mhm?" He responds at the same softness as you do, doe-eyes glancing back over at you just as you chomp on a nugget.

"How were your past relationships, if you don't mind me asking?"

"I don't. But, past relationships?" You furrow your brows a bit in confusion, but Yunho lets out a laugh. "My only serious relationship was in high school. We dated since freshman year, then we broke up right before we went to college."

"Oh, I'm sorry. That must have been tough."

"It was. But, it was for the best. I didn't wanna hold her back and vice versa from a new chapter in our lives, plus she was going to college overseas. There was no way it was going to work."

"I'm sure it could've since you two loved each other."

"Yeah, but I think at that point love meant letting her go and letting her experience things freely. I would've felt selfish and guilty about it." Yunho thinks back to that moment, and the feeling settles in his gut a bit. Not like it used to, no. But, those times weren't his favorite, and they've always left a mark on him.

♣︎ FLASHBACK

"Hey." Yunho says lowly, already not wanting to be here. He looks at Hayun with sadness in his eyes, and it's clear that she already knows where this is going too. 

"Hi." She quietly says, head dropping as she steps aside to let him in. It's quiet in the house and Yunho hates it. It's quiet, even though his thoughts are extremely loud.

He hates this.

Hayun shuts the door and leads the way up to her room. Yunho is so familiar with this, but today— it feels oddly unfamiliar, awkward. Hurtful. Sad.

Different.

She steps inside and her movements are small. She sits on the edge of her bed just as Yunho shuts the door and takes his place next to her. He lets out a breath, hands dug deep into the pocket of his hoodie. They both stare out her window, admiring the view together knowing this is probably the last time they'll get to do so. But, Yunho breaks away first, looking over at Hayun and admiring her features.

She is beautiful. She is sweet. She is everything to him. 

But, he knows he has to do this. It's only right.

"You're leaving this weekend, right?" Hayun meets his eyes and nods with a tiny smile creeping at the corner of her lips.

"Mhm."

"You're going to enjoy it there. I know you will."

"Maybe." Her head falls again, eyes now focused on her hands as she fiddles with the thread of her pajama pants.

"You don't sound too excited."

"How am I supposed to sound excited when I know you're here for a specific reason?" She looks at him, and he sees the tears welling up in her eyes. It breaks his heart, but he knows he has to do this. It's only right.

"I'm sorry." He says lowly. "You know it's for the best, love." The tears are welling up in his eyes now— he truly, truly hates this. "I'm so sorry."

"Then, why?" She cries. "Wouldn't we be able to make this work? I'd call, and I'd come home to visit and—" He shakes his head and wipes her tears, thumb caressing the surface of her cheeks.

"See, that's exactly why. I don't want you to make this experience about me. You should be enjoying yourself, you should be experiencing everything you wanna experience out there. You shouldn't be shaping college around me."

"But I'm not, I can do both. I can—"

"Love, listen." He says close to a whisper. "You and I both know we're only prolonging what'll eventually happen. We're so young, we have so many things yet to experience. Being this far apart, we'll outgrow each other, and we'll end up hurting each other in so many ways." Her bottom lip trembles and pokes out, tears continuing to streak her cheeks. But, she doesn't say anything. She knows this is what needs to happen. She knows Yunho is only doing the right thing. She knows that everything he's saying is true. "I'll never be able to forgive myself if you don't experience all of this at your full potential. You have so much ahead of you, Hayun. And because I love you, all I want is for you to be happy. That's all I want for you."

"Yunho." She cries. "I'm so sorry. I hate this. I'm so sorry." She repeats, over and over again; though, Yunho isn't sure why she's apologizing. He doesn't want her to regret anything about them, about this. Yunho pulls her into his arms, hugging her tightly while repeatedly kissing her on the top of her head. He whispers sweet nothings against her head, reassuring her that he loves her, that he just wants the best for her.

That he's okay.

Even though, he's far from okay.

♣︎ END

"True." You pause to nibble on your food some more. "You haven't dated anyone after your ex?" He shakes his head.

"No. It wasn't really a priority for me. Plus, we had been together all throughout high school. I needed the time to myself." You nod.

"Understandable. Have you talked to her since then?"

"Not really. I ran into her one summer, and she acted like she didn't really know me. Kinda sad, but it's whatever."

"It's not whatever. You can be sad about that."

"It's just sad how people go from doing everything together and being really close, to suddenly being strangers again. We were very different when we ran into each other." He shrugs. "I just hope she's doing well."

"And I'm sure she wishes the same for you. Maybe she just didn't know how to approach you after so long."

"Maybe."

"Maybe." You repeat as you trace the lid to your drink while you sip on it, Yunho watching your small movements while remaining quiet for a bit.

"What about you?" He chimes in, finally having the guts to ask you.

"Past relationships?" You shrug. "I did date two people in high school. Came to college and was seeing someone I met through mutual friends. Never got super serious though, and we eventually agreed to just stay friends." 

"I see."

"We're still good friends so it's nice we were able to actually get past that." 

"That's good. What about Seonghwa? How did that start?"

"He came up to me after one of my performances, exchanged numbers then.. viola." You make a gesture with your hand. "This mess started." You chuckle to yourself, slightly in a more pathetic sense because yeah, it is a mess. Has been.

"It's alright. We live and we learn. Just unfortunate he's too immature to realize what's in front of him." 

"Yeah, well." You set your cup down. "I think that's done with."

"Good, that's a relief." It is a relief to Yunho because that means many things:

One, you won't be with Seonghwa.

Two, you won't be with Seonghwa.

And three, you won't be with Seonghwa.

He's not even sure of his own feelings when it comes to you, but he does know that he really enjoys your company and he feels comfortable with you. It's easy to fall for you and Yunho might be heading in that direction— he just doesn't wanna scare you off, especially if you don't seem to feel the same way. Before Yunho can do a whole deep dive of his thoughts next to you, he clears his throat before stumbling on his follow-up: "I-I mean, it's good because he doesn't deserve you at all. You shouldn't continue wasting your time on him or anything." You giggle.

"Thanks, Yunho. You did help me realize that over the phone."

"I didn't say or do much. You're making your own decisions and doing what's best for you." He gives you a small smile. Another comfortable silence falls between you two as you look out at the view and appreciate the stars that are visible in the night's sky. 

"Hey, Yunho?" You finally break the silence again, and it's clear Yunho doesn't mind. He truly doesn't mind all the questions you've had, and he likes hearing you say his name the way you do. It's cute. 

You genuinely want to know more about him, to learn about him.

"Mhm?" 

"Would it be weird if I said that I really like being with you?" He lets out a small laugh.

"Well, I would hope so." He gives you a soft smile while you giggle. "But no, not weird at all. I feel the same way."

"That's nice to know."

"Yeah, it is." He crumples his napkin and throws it into his bag, reaching out a hand for yours. "Finished?" You nod and hand him your trash, watching as Yunho makes his way to the nearby trash can.

"Thank you." You say just as he walks back towards the car.

"My pleasure." Yunho stretches.

"Hold on, I wanna see the water up close." You step out and head towards the railing, leaning over to watch the water crash against the rocks, the wall. Yunho smiles to himself and digs his hands in his pockets, slowly coming towards the rail. He looks at you from behind, watching as you admire the sea, the night sky.

Meanwhile, he's admiring you.

He lets out a breath and shakes off the thoughts, coming next to you and letting his arm brush against yours. He also leans over to watch the water more closely, foot resting on the lowest rail for more stability.

"It's so pretty." Yunho looks at you and he can't help but agree— because yes, you are.

"It is." He responds outloud.

"This was really nice, Yunho." You look up at him with a tiny, toothless smile. "Thanks for sharing this with me and for taking me here."

"Just wanted to see you smile." You feel the heat rise to your cheeks, and Yunho feels his ears getting hotter. How embarrassing. But, thank god it's nighttime and you can't see him visibly getting shy, embarrassed. "Ready to head back home? You must be exhausted."

"I am." You yawn as you start to walk back towards the car and get settled into the seats. "But, I did get lots done."

"You did." He starts up the car and starts heading back towards the apartment complex. "What are you gonna do when you get home?"

"Probably just lie down and talk to Chaery in the room." You chuckle. "You?"

"Hop on a game or just watch some stuff."

"I wanna see what your apartment looks like." He laughs a bit.

"One day."

"Promise?"

"There isn't anything special about it, Y/N. I promise you that."

"But, I just wanna see what Yunho's space is like." You say in a playful tone.

"Yunho's space is boring." He retorts.

"I'm sure it's not. So, promise me? One day I'll get to see it?"

"Sure."

"Say it, please." You pout, making Yunho shake his head. 

"Promise."

"Better." You giggle, settling more into the passenger's seat. You and Yunho continue to talk a bit about the remainder of the week, not realizing that the weekend was quickly approaching.

By the end of the conversation, Yunho is pulling into the complex parking lot and effortlessly parking into his usual spot. He grabs your things from the trunk and hands over your bag, following behind you as you walk towards your building.

"Yunho, I'm just here. You don't have to walk me."

"I sure do." He replies. "It's fine, I need to make sure you make it to your door in one piece."

"I appreciate it." You give him a small smile. "Thanks again for today. I really enjoyed it, well— minus the work that had to get done first."

"Of course." Yunho smiles, stopping at the stairs. He digs his hands into his pockets, watching as you reach the top of the first flight and turning to face him.

"More McDonald's runs in the future?"

"Sounds good."

"Goodnight, Yunho."

"Goodnight, Y/N." You give him one last wave before you make your way to your apartment. When he hears the door shut, he turns on his heel to make his journey to his own apartment.

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