#I'm not ace or aro but I don't even know if that has anything to do with it

[cielpansyhive]

I've noticed the past few years that some people tag platonic relationships with ship names. I'm trying to understand the reason for it. No judgement, I just don't get it. I see it mostly in the Voltron fandom but I have seen it in others.

On AO3 there's the slash option but also the & option. So if a friendship is important they could use "Person A & Person B" instead of "Person A/Person B." With the ship name they'll tag as "platonic (ship name)." So for example, I'll use sheith, it would be tagged "platonic sheith."

At first I thought maybe if there was an actual relationship but it wasn't sexual...but then there's still romance so that's not quite right. Platonic is platonic. Is there such a thing as a relationship that isn't sexual or romantic but it's more than a friendship? Because to me that just sounds like friendship. There are friends that become family, there are best friends, there are platonic soul mates, but it's all on the friendship scale somewhere. I ask only because I don't understand, once again not judging.

Another thought I had, if somone uses the ship tag but isn't making real shippy stuff, are they saying while they don't write it themselves they aren't against it? Kind of like saying, "you're safe here." There are plenty of things I don't write myself but I enjoy reading other people's work with it.

Maybe in a later work set in the same AU there is a relationship, but it's not there in that work. Like, "warning: this series will eventually have this ship."

Or is it just that they don't know how to tag things? I'm not a tag snob, I'm not perfect with tags either. I just want to know if these are people that would be welcoming or not. I would think if they hated the ship they wouldn't use the ship name even in a platonic way. But I just don't understand the intention behind it, so I don't want to risk things. I've seen it done so often that I feel like I've missed out on something.

[astriiformes]

Might actually cry a little bit (in a good way) - the new bill that just passed here in Minnesota granting paid medical leave to people caring for sick family members has such an intentionally expansive definition of "family" that biological and/or legal ties are not actually a prerequisite to qualify for the program. In fact, there's a portion of the bill that specifies anyone designated as family by the incapacitated party can receive the benefits.

Apparently this was done in part to make the policy as inclusive as possible of queer family structures and I am absolutely floored; as someone with a seriously chronically ill queerplatonic partner I worry a lot about my options as a primary caretaker, seeing as the fact that we are not legal partners bars us from so many other benefits, but the fact that this particular one would be inclusive of us (and poly partners, and single queer people with no ties to their biological family but close friends willing to help them out, etc) has given me more hope that may change someday than I think anything ever has.

This is how you do policy that benefits the entire queer community, including poly, ace, and aro folks for whom same-sex marriage has never offered the same legal rights (and plenty of other folks besides, like disabled people or people with terrible biological families -- you don't have to be LGBTQA+ for it to be a seriously important option). This is genuinely incredible. I was excited to see this pass even without knowing it would potentially apply to me, too, but now I'm a total grateful, emotional mess.

[verosikastrikerstellaexcuser]

So I am honestly stupidly heated at this whole pride thing.

I don't like that 2 of the only het characters are Striker and Stella all because they are mean to the wrong main character (Stolas). Like, its so transparent. Mammon despite abusing Fizz gets to be there. Chaz is a dead villain but gets to be there. Wally doesn't appear to be LGBT from what I can see?? But, yk, as a pet fave he gets to be there still even if straight.

"[Do you think Stella] would come anywhere near a pride parade" Well, yeah because her pointless misogynist fuckass brothers gay and from what we've seen she still works with him quite willingly? Like huh? And don't even get me started on Striker, I made a separate post ranting but how in the hell was this scene heterosexual in any way. Striker specifically is the one to initiate this scene as well.

Andrealphus is also here too. Instead of us getting say Lesbian Stella, bi Stella, aro Stella, no, we get him. It feels more and more like an excuse to replace and erase Stella's place in the story; Viv didn't like that people liked Stella too much because Stella is one of her non favorites and supposed to be a mean-to-Stolas Stolitz drama plot device, so she made a totally cooler better gay male bird instead. He's gay and cunty~ so hes better because female homosexuality is so less interesting and fun. Andrealphus gay male bird is still a piece of shit morally but he gets to be there and be LGBT. He also gets to be the brains behind the whole operation to fuck Stolas over, hes the actual fun antagonist being evil with style and swagger. While Stella went from in S1 being a ruthless hyper aggressive woman pushed to her breaking point working to kill her husband to now in S2 a tool controlled by Andrealphus while being demeaned and told her only use is her looks. And ykw else? I saw someone twitter point out something interesting.

The HB store has sold an awful lot of sexualized merch of Stella, all the pinups etc. And... man. Yeah, it begins to paint a horrible picture. I know they do a lot of sexualized merch of other characters, but those characters have also gotten to be characters and not just plot devices for men. While Stella has been sidelined for another male attracted male character instead of explored. All the men in her life have used her for her body, her looks, her being female, as a baby factory and a wife, shes been unpersoned by them. And then, the merch fucking reinforces this by heavily sexualizing her. They'll sell sexualized merch to Stella fans. But they won't flesh out her character, they won't make her lesbian or ace fans happy by making her rep, nah, none of that.

I'm sorry but this is just not how you write a victim of an arranged marriage made to have a baby with a man who couldn't stand to look at her as she did it by her parents and brother!? And before anyone comes at me, again, if Mammon and Andrelphus get to be a celebrated LGBT character why the fuck does Stella not? If Wally gets to be here despite not being LGBT why doesn't Stella? Why did Stella never get to have her childhood and past explored, her relationship with Octavia explored, anything? Why is her interest in others/sexuality never really shown outside of not being into Stolas? Why do we never even get maybe a fun arc in which she realizes shes so angry because shes aro and romance repulsed? Or shes a lesbian and craves a relationship with a woman? Or loves another man but didn't cheat then Stolas did so she lost it? Something? Anything? Anything at fucking all? Oh. Right. No. Shes just a token straight woman who exists to be a body to be used and drama for Stolas and Stolitz's story. Why would they give her an LGBT identity? Those only exist to be tacked onto nice or cool female characters that bully characters its ok to bully like Blitz and Moxxie - all of these pan female characters consistently only ever really show male attraction anyway, to boot. Because gay is only fun and cool when its male!!!!111

[bloggingboutburgers]

Do you have any thoughts on how old a person "has to be" to realize they're aro/ace? I'm an adult, but realized I was ace at 14, and anytime I say that, people jump to tell me that's too young and that I couldn't have known. It frustrates me that other queer people are willing to say something like that about something that brought me comfort and community when I otherwise would've felt alone, but I don't know how to put into words how hypocritical and irritating it is, or whether being told that is even an experience other aro/ace people have had.

Eyooo- 👉👉 I'm also an adult who realized they were ace at 14! And yeah, I got the same reactions. I think it's bullshit. 14 is an age people hit puberty and start heavily figuring themselves out romantically and sexually, and I might be wrong but I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of people were pretty sure they're gay or bi or pan or at the very least not straight at 14, so why not aces, right? I remember personally my experience was... "Welp, everyone's obviously horny and I'm obviously not, so I'm obviously asexual", and honestly it was clear enough to me. Never occurred to me that I could be a "late bloomer" or whatever because like... Really I didn't miss it, if anything I was VERY happy to give it a pass.

So... Yeah. It's insensitive and diminishing and we get that A LOT and it's annoying af. Society makes it hard enough for us to figure ourselves at as is without people, straight or queer, telling us "nah actually your experience isn't really real and you don't know shit". I think it's one of the hardest and most universal struggles we have, and you're right for feeling irritated about it.

[thalfbloodloser]

i wish we had alloaro representation in media. a charming character who fucks - both literally AND aesthetically. one that makes other characters go "wow! they're so cool and good in bed, but ultimately un-datable, because as soon as they sense any romantic intention on you, they flee" (kinda like lucifer morningstar from "lucifer". he's aroallo in my heart)

a character who's funny and has a horrifyingly 80's sense of fashion (they have a curly combed-out mullet and mismatched earrings. you'll find them at pride wearing a corn costume because it "matches the aroallo flag" and they're "being subtle") or one who's the embodiment of a 60's greaser (their motorcycle helmet is themed after the aro flag and the back of their leather jacket says "LOVELESS / LOVE LOSES") or one who's a girly fanfiction writer that has more ships than a star wars movie (their fics are muntifandom-ly famous and most their stuff is covered in yaoi/yuri patches and stickers. everyone thinks they're a hopeless romantic because of it, but that's exactly why they're so big on the fiction ≠ reality discourse) or...

anyone else, really. just ultimately a HUMAN who's casually aromantic. one who doesn't make it a parade but isn't subtle about it, either. will they hold other character's hands? maybe. kiss their cheek? perhaps. hang out with them, on picnics and walks along the river? can't see why not! but platonically. or maybe have them be genuinely romance-repulsed & not so eager to participate in anything socially perceived as romantic. that would also be amazing.

let them express themselves sexually! let them fuck. give them a..."fuckbuddy", if you must. or a best friend who's sexually involved with them - classic romcom material, i know - but without it being "complicated"; because there's no romance involved to complicate it.

give them funny scenes. another character tries to kiss their lips or ask them on a date? they laugh nervously, the scene cuts and we get a hilarious shot of them escaping through the bathroom window. or audibly saying "ew" and then regretting it. another character is struggling to write a romcom/romance book without it being corny? we get a scene where our character casually describes the most romantical (and, to them, unappealing) plot ever - because, much like aces acing the smut department, they're far from misunderstanding what is or isn't heartstopping for alloromantics - only to have the other character stare at them like "?????????? HELLO????". give us a scene of them being confused as to why their hookup is yelling at them for acting "so casual" and responding with a quotable shitty line ("just because we had sex last night i can't call you "bro"? / "what? expected me to marry you or something? get off my bed, it's 9AM" / "would you rather have me mad? sad? what's happening here. give me a hint")

but give them complicated scenes too. scenes portraying the loneliness that comes with being aromantic but not asexual, the lack of community. them talking about how hard it is to maintain sexual relationships just sexual. the painful "breakups" because one of their friends declared their undying love for them but they cannot possibly match that energy, even if they wanted to. have them weep because somehow that keeps happening. the unfairness in being accused of heartlessness and selfishness by other queers. the shame on being told they're fetishistic and the reason why queer men/women/people are seen as sex-crazed or impure.

...anyways, i'm rambling- do y'all have any aroallo ocs? or ideas for alloaro characters? maybe aroallo headcanons? i'd love to know what you think! :)

(don't tag as #ace / #asexual / #asexuality)

[aromantic-diaries]

Yknow I feel more represented by characters who aren't confirmed to be aro/ace or even written as such, but can still be interpreted that way because of how they're characterized, rather than characters who are confirmed to be aro/ace through word of god while the actual story has no implications of that character being aro/ace beyond them not having a love interest. The latter kind of waters it down to not wanting to date or have sex which isn't really all there is to it. I get that not all representation has to be a 100% accurate, deep and touching depiction of the aro/ace experience, but that doesn't mean completely ignoring the character's identity beyond not giving them a love interest.

I will elaborate with two examples under the cut

So for the word of god representation, let's take Lilith Clawthorne from the owl house as an example. I think she's a great character, I liked her, and I think the owl house is a fantastic show that deserved better. However I don't think of Lilith as good representation because the only real confirmation we have is outside of the actual show. It's not in the canon material, she doesn't have a love interest but she's not even the only character who stays single so that doesn't mean much. She isn't shown to be any different from anyone, her being aroace isn't really relevant in any way. I'd say the best word for describing this type of representation is Passive. We know she's aroace because it was confirmed outside of the show, she doesn't have a love interest, but it doesn't really go beyond that. I get that the show was cut short and maybe it would have been elaborated on more but that's just a generous assumption on my part. My point is, I don't really see any real aro or ace experiences reflected in her character, neither mine or anyone else's. She doesn't really represent any actual aspec experiences at all which is why I don't consider her to be good representation. I still understand the community's attachment to her though, we take what we can get and what we get is very little. So while I love the owl house, the aroace representation is pretty dissapointing compared to the great representation of other queer identities and I'm kinda bummed that the aroace character still gets sidelined in an otherwise very queer friendly show

For another example I'll bring up my all time favorite, Rudy Waltz, protagonist of the book Deadeye Dick by Kurt Vonnegut. Deadeye Dick is not a feel good story. The story is dark, bitter and the conclusion is no different. Still, I would describe it as oddly comforting and pretty funny at times. So what does that have to do with anything? Well, our Rudy can very well be interpreted as asexual and probably aromantic as well. He isn't referred to as such, he describes himself as a neuter, the author states in the preface that the protagonist's disinterest is a metaphor for his own declining sexuality, and the book was written before the term aromantic was even coined. However, as an aromantic asexual reading the book, I could not help but deeply relate to Rudy's lack of interest in ever having sex or finding a romantic partner. I felt kinship with him as he described knowing how many people there are who are just like him and yet they go unnoticed by most people, because I was one of those people. I related to him and the way his disinterest in sex was met with such confusion from another character. Despite not being described as such, Deadeye Dick is very much in part an asexual and an aromantic story because the protagonist's experiences line up with that of someone on those spectrums. You could argue that calling him aroace is problematic due to him fitting a negative stereotype due to his emotional detachment, or that he only fits the label because of said detachment, but that does not change the fact that he is still better representation than a character who was confirmed outside of the story with no real implications. I see myself in Rudy more than I do in Lilith because Rudy actually feels like an aroace character

Anyways, rant over. Feel free to disagree with me

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Aita for not making any of my characters, that I have to crank out daily, pansexual/polysexual/omnisexual specifically and only making them bi?

🏳️‍🌈👶🏼 so i can recognize this later lmao also I'm not panphobic or anything, this isn't about the validity of the label, pan is fine.

So i (20snb bi) have a project I'm working on where I take all the characters from a specifc media I'm into and pair them up with each other to make every possible ship kid from every possible ship(excluding characters who are kids themselves or are related or something, that shit is gross). Basically taking every character and pairing them up with another and creating a kid I think they'd have. Its a big project with lots of characters and I'm easily over 400 at this point. I really enjoy this, even if I'm not even 25% complete.

However I set a schedule for myself that at least one ship kid needs to come out each day which, considering I draw them, color them and give them some development and some even have siblings, (The refs themselves easily take me an hour to an hour and a half) I have to make lots of them quickly to keep up with my daily grind. I've been doing this project for over a year and although it's stressful, I can get them out quickly with breaks for myself.

Their character sheets all have some pretty basic info like their name, gender, pronouns, personality and more but it also includes their sexuality/orientation. I have a pretty basic list of options for what their sexuality will be: straight, lesbian, gay, Enbian, bi, Aro, ace and aroace with a few random things like polyam, WLW and a good amount of the something-loving-something/juvelic terms. I did this because, well, there's not many entirely unique orientations outside of them and although I love mogai/xenogenders and complex identities, I dont want to potentially drag up discourse or bring problems to my budding art blog over it. Its just not worth it to me to turn something I really care about on its head, even if I like microlabels.

In this case, I'm using bi as an umbrella term as most of the other terms share the same definition with slight variations in wording or action but not much difference in practice. We all like everyone, it's basic stuff. However, apparently this is a problem.

I've gotten one or two anons asking me questions about my guides asking some kind stuff like is this lesbian ship kid a butch or femme or Is this picture of them now or just at the age you put on the ref and other harmless stuff. Then things got rude with some Nbphobia but thrice now I've gotten asks:

1. Asking snarkily if im a panphobe

2. insulting me for not specifically writing pan or Omni and just writing bi.

3. Saying that I "clearly dont care about pansexual representation." Then brought up how my primary oc is native american so i clearly care about representation but that oc used to be a sona and I'm native?? Its confusing. (And Lowkey racist shit to just assume any native character is a "diversity quota" character instead of just a person existing but I digress-)

Im not pan, im bi so ig these people assume I'm not cool with pan people which isnt true? I have nothing aginest them, they are just pretty similar and I dont feel like it matters if they are specfically bi or pan or poly or any other label. I don't go into details like that for any other sub-group, not even pronouns and I included combinations and some common Neopronouns. I understand the importance of representation but my project has less than 50 people looking at it every day, Im not netflix or something. I'm one guy on the most LGBT blogging site with a big project and very little audience, I'm not showing people who wouldn't already know what pan is that pansexuality exists.

This project isn't that deep considering the characters in question aren't human/dont have human characteristics.(no it's not hazbin/helluva) Also ive never spoken about lgbt discourse or stated anything remotely close to it beyond the guides just passively having characters who are an LGBT identity. I've not even mentioned all the potentional orientations they could have so I'm not sure where/why this came up in the first place. The most politcial things ive said are calling out a creator in my fandom who outed themselves as a transphobe and mentioning im pro-palestine. That's it.

I mean this is pretty low stakes, I can just block these people and be done with it and this some seriously online shit but I just wanna check.

Am I being an asshole for just writing bi instead of specifying their mspec label because I have to produce characters quickly and I don't see enough of a difference to warrant a change/specification that would ultimately slow and clog an already stressful and complex project?

I dont think I am but idk lol

What are these acronyms?

[loveless-arobee]

While I know the angry-aro blogs are from a troll (just blog them, really. They're an incredibly annoying individual who has just made a new blog to block-evade...), I do want to emphasize that my notes are not a safe place for ace-phobia.

While I did make a pose critisizing sex-negative and anti-AlloAro sentiments I've noticed in aspec-spaced, that does not mean I hate aces or would in any world agree that aces somehow oppress aros.

Yes, there are quite a few asexual people who do not question their own internalized anti-AlloAro rhetoric, and some (not a lot, but we won't get anywhere if we act like they don't exist) who openly agree with this sentiment and are extremely sex-negative and aromisic, the number of aces who try their best to listen, understand and include alloaros in aspec spaces is much greater. A lot of the people who reblogged and agreed with the post I mentioned above were asexual!

We won't get anywhere by acting like everyone will always be the worst possible. Assuming all aces hate AlloAros won't make the community any better, and aces assuming all AlloAros hate them won't either. Because none of that is true.

We also won't get anywhere by ignoring anti-AlloAro rhetoric in ace-spaces, or anti-ace rhetoric in AlloAro spaces (and also not by assuming anything AlloAros say about themselves without mentioning aces is somehow ace-misic...)

The reason I criticize aces for AlloAro-misia is not because I believe all aces are somehow more arophobic than any other given person, but because I try to make the aspec community a safer place for everyone, and AlloAros are part of that community, and a part that has been very often excluded from aro communities in the past. (One example I can think of being the aromantic subreddit implementing a rule that forced aroallos to tag even just mentioning sexual attraction without ever going into detail as "NSFW" and when they tried to fight back, because simply saying they're allosexual is not NSFW, being told to go to the AroAllo subreddit instead because they made the AroAces uncomfortable (there were also a bunch of AroAces speaking out against that, though. A few of them being assholes doesn't mean all of them are, even if the assholes happen to be the ones in charge in this case.) The rule is gone, afaik, but I'm not on reddit anymore so no clue what's going on now.)

Some aces being bigoted assholes does not give you the right to attack all of them nor to be bigoted back at them.

[elsa-fogen]

What are your 3 most and least favorite Hazbin characters and why? I love reading your thoughts on things. <3 Awesome work btw!

Favs are easy

Alastor. Well, you could've guessed lol. He's the reason i'm in the fandom. I don't know why i like him that much. Maybe because he's creepy, powerful, but also not the MOST powerful (although in my head i want him to be teehee), also cool voice and the fact that he was almost cut in half and had a mental breakdown. I started liking him AFTER the season ended, so, i guess, seeing him being destroyed by Adam was Important. Also he's ace (and most likely aro) so i don't have to worry that he'll be involved in some ungodly ship in the future (I DON'T HAVE TO WORRY, RIGHT? RIGHT????). I want to see him suffer, i want to see him broken, i want to see him rise and conquer Hell.

Rosie. HOW CAN YOU NOT LIKE HER? She's amazing on her own, but i guess she didn't have enough screen time to be my favorite on her own. But her dynamic with Alastor worth a world, PLEASE I'M BEGGING, I WANNA SEE MORE OF THEM IN SEASON 2. LET THEM BE MARRIED FOR TAX REASONS AND RUB IT IN LUCIFERS PATHETIC FACE

Angel Dust?? Maybe. I'm not sure. He COULD be my favorite, he has incredible angst, it's delicious... But the problem is - he's too horny for my ace ass and his angst mostly revolves around sex which i don't like.

But it's harder to choose which characters i dislike, because i either like them or just don't care enough. but...

Valentino. I mean. He's great antagonist for Angel, and i would LOVE to see him being murdered in the most brutal way... But still, when i think about Val i don't have anything positive about him.

Lucifer. Don't get me wrong. He's fun (his line about depression is iconic), he's silly little guy. But he's TOO silly for my liking. And i wouldn't care about him at all, if it weren't for the... *sigh* the fandom and the fucking r*dio*plle. I hate this ship so much (BECAUSE IT'S EVERYWHERE AAGGHHPGFRRGFG) that it makes me dislike Lucifer too, and be suspicious about any art where i see him and Alastor interacting which is a pity because they have really fun dynamic in canon and i would love to see where it goes. But the fandom ruined it. Thanks, hazbin fandom.

It's hard to choose third one. Because other characters... Well, i don't care about them and i don't feel anything negative about them. Adam? I actually like him, he's fun and his relationships with Lute actually my second fav ship in the show (first being platonic radiorose). I like Lute too (how can i say no to a warrior girl who's little bit fucked up) (and also if she's gonna have revenge arch... Alastor may have to move a bit and share the first place with her)

Ehm, anyway... i can't find third character i dislike even slightly. Maybe i'll remember something later, maybe not, maybe season 2 eill have someone i'll add to the list haha

But for now i'll stop here.

[omegalomania]

What are some of your favorite aro-/ace-coded fob lyrics?

oh fuck yes a little bowl of seeds just for me

boycott love from disloyal order of water buffaloes is a personal favorite of mine. its a lyric i really really want tattooed at some point. that's not the only lyric i latch onto from an aro perspective but it's probably the biggest one

basically the entirety of it's hard to say "i do" when i don't but a special mention goes to you are appealing to emotions that i simply do not have as well as the only ring i want buried with me are the ones around my eyes

it's true romance is dead / i shot it in the chest and in the head from the music or the misery is also a favorite of mine, also just that whole song in general

i thought i loved you but it was just how you looked in the light in hum hallelujah resonates with a lot of queer folks i've found, and it's no different for me

same goes for it's a strange way of saying that i know i'm supposed to love you from g.i.n.a.s.f.s.

i'm outside the door, invite me in / so we can go back and play pretend from alone together brings me back to when i was trying to perform heteronormativity/amatonormativity even if it was making me miserable

i also hold to a very similar vibe with she said "i love you 'till i don't" / i am just playing house, no idea what i'm doing now from sunshine riptide and also most of burna boy's verse, frankly. i fell in love but i didn't fall down and feel like i'm bulletproof, baby in particular

american beauty/american psycho, particularly the first verse. i think i fell in love again / maybe i just took too much cough medicine

golden is a big one for queer folks in general i've found. the chorus especially hits hard from an aro and/or ace reading. and i saw god cry in the reflection of my enemies / and all the lovers with no time for me

i've got a dark alley and a bad idea that says you should shut your mouth is a heavy song no matter how you slice it. but that chorus gets to me in particular: we can fake it for the airwaves / force our smiles, baby, half-dead / from comparing myself to everyone else around me

the kids aren't alright reads to me as one big anthem for platonic love above anything romantic, which resonates super hard with me. the second verse has a lot of good lines that i latch onto from an aroace lens too. your love is anemic and i can't believe / that you couldn't see it coming from me

pretty much the whole chorus of HOLD ME TIGHT OR DON'T does it for me, and those verses have got some good aroallo vibes too! i never really feel a thing... confidants but never friends...

the whole of fake out is a gimme. that chorus rings real true. starts with love is in the air, i just gotta find a window to break out and finishing with but it was all a fake-out

i've got all this ringing in my ears and none on my fingers is one that has another highly applicable title but the whole refrain of the truth hurts worse / than anything i could bring myself to do to you paired with the one-two punch of that second verse REALLY gets under my skin

and of course, the culminating one: you are what you love, not who loves you from save rock and roll. obviously there are a LOT of ways to read that line

there are a couple other songs i latch onto - wilson (expensive mistakes); a little less "sixteen candles", a little more "touch me"; the (after) life of the party to name a few - but the ones listed above are the big lyrics that resonate with me on a personal level

just in general i have a shitton of fob over on my aro playlist (which doubles as a general aroace/queer playlist but has a lot of emphasis on aromanticism) in case i forgot to mention anything but like i said those are the big ones

[harocat]

One thing that really bugs me is how over and over I see all these blanket posts about what 'fandom is supposed to be', and they always have so many notes and like... fandom is not supposed to be anything? I'd argue it's supposed to be fun, but beyond that, there's never been a set 'thing' fandom is supposed to be. So you always have people arguing that their approach to fandom is the one true way, and that fandom used to be like this (as a fandom old I can confirm this is 95% of the time not true), and it's almost always just what their personal preference as an approach is.

A small example; people in fandom did not 'not used to care whether their ship was canon or not'. Large swathes of fandom have always cared about that, because people have always shipped in different ways and for different reasons. For some fans what is in the text is most important, and they enjoy this!!

People did not used to just ignore it if you had different character and ship preferences. There were entire communities decided to defending characters that got a lot of hate. I'm sure we all know about the anti character communities and sites too.

Antis are also nothing new. While I do agree there has been a big uptick in moralizing shipping preferences in recent years, I remember having the most vanilla ass ships in the world repeatedly called 'abusive'. I ran a community for the most canon, most 'wholesome' pairing you can imagine in the early 2000s, and I got doxed for it. Fandom has always been like this!! The moralizing is worse, but it is not new.

Fanfic has never just meant to be an exploration of what canon did wrong, or even what canon left out. These are two common approaches, but just as often it boils down to 'idk I want more with these characters' or even 'this is a love letter to canon.' There's a mindset that fanfic is meant as a fuck you to canon, and sometimes sure, it is. But that's only one approach, and many, many fans approach it differently.

Also, since very early on, kids have been in fandom. If it 'used to be an adults only space', it was only at the very beginning. This isn't me berating people who want adults only spaces in fandom, by the way, or telling people they need to make things kid friendly (you absolutely do not). It's just saying that kids are not interlopers. They are meant to be here as well, and they should be treated kindly when and if we do need to interact with them.

I think most of what I mentioned in this post is good. I think it's great that there are fans who care about what ship is canon, as well as those who don't. I think it's great that people approach fic with totally different mindsets and goals. I think it's great that for some people, fandom is a place to explore fetishes, and for some it isn't (this isn't inherently moralizing either, some people just have other interests in fandom, or they're ace/aro/etc. and it affects their preferences). I think it's great the kids and teenagers find joy in fandom. Obviously I do not think the ship wars and doxxing are great.

I just don't like when people say 'fandom is supposed to be' or 'fandom used to be' because as always, your experiences are not and never will be universal.

[woofwoofwolf]

That which matters more (part 1)

Tighnari x reader.

EDIT AS OF AUGUST 29TH: I'm still working on this fic, but it's going to be longer than I initially thought. (I'm currently at 20.000 words on chapter 9 out of a planned 18, but that will probably become more.) So you can see this as the first draft of chapter 1.

I know I keep saying this but I will most likely be posting soon ish, with weekly updates! I'm working really hard on this fic, so please stay tuned.

Warnings: Fem!reader, (though I think there is no gendered language in this chapter, but I might have missed something so fair warning) reader is aro/ace, (but again idk yet how big of a role this will play.) Minor injuries

1580 words

This is chapter one of a series I'm working on right now, and although I don't think I'm going to be able to finish it anytime soon, I think if people like it on here it might motivate me more to actually finish this? I currently have 5 chapters planned and I've started chapter 3, but I constantly go back and change stuff in previous chapters (the reason why I never post anything tbh) soooo... who knows. This first chapter might also get changed in the future, but I'm actually decently happy with it so far?

Let me know what you think! I'll post this to AO3 in the future.

“Be careful, please,” Collei nervously clasped her hands against her chest, eying the ivy covered ditch you were standing over. “You’re going to fall!”

“I almost got it, just stand back and don’t worry-” You gasped out. Your left arm was fully outstretched, while your right grabbed on to a branch sticking out from the ledge right across from the flower you were trying to pick. “After this we can go back to Gandharva Ville, I promise-”

“Got it!” You said when you finally had the stem of the flower between your fingers. However your  wide smile soon turned to shock as the dry root you were grabbing onto cracked and snapped, and sent you tumbling down a hole, right through the dense ivy.

Collei screamed as a dull thud sounded at the end of your tumble. “Oh my goodness, are you alright?!?!” Her knees fell to the ground to peer into the hole you just fell into, which was thankfully a lot less deep than she had thought it to be. What surprised her tho, was the big yellow cloud that hit her face, completely surrounding the both of you, while you were splayed out on a bed of moss, entirely covered in ivy and pollen. Around you were dozens of the mystery flowers you had just picked. “O-oh no- What do I do!”

A cough signalled that you were still alive. “A rope would be nice,” you groaned.

“Right! A Rope!” Collei sprang into action, quickly looking for a rope in her satchel. “Can you climb out on your own? Oh.. I don’t know if I’m strong enough to carry you.”

“I’m fine, I’m fine… I only scraped my knee a little bit,” You said as you tried to stand up on the slippery moss. Ugh, your leg was going to be sore for a while… “There’s so many of them!”

“I’ll bandage it as soon as I get you out!” Collei said as she secured the rope to a rock.

“No, not that! The flowers!” You pulled the ivy of your arms, making the pollen fly off you, making you cough again. “They sure produce a lot of pollen too… You think holes in the ground like these are their preferred habitat?”

Collei sighed with a small smile. “Well… At least you’re well enough to still be talking. You could’ve hit your head, you know? Master Tighnari isn’t going to be happy.”

She was right, you knew Tighnari was going to lecture you on your detour from your regular patrol, but you hoped that seeing this mysterious flower would distract him enough to not go on for too long.

You grabbed onto the rope, thankfully still able to climb out of the hole yourself. You triumphantly held up not only the flower you plucked earlier, but also two other samples, WITH roots attached. “They’re BEAUTIFUL! I bet not even Tighnari has seen these flower before!” Observing it a little more closely, it was very similar to a Sumeru rose, but the interesting thing that had drawn you closer to it in the first place was the fact that not only did it glow brighter than a regular similar rose, it had also been changing colours from a soft yellow, to a regular Sumeru rose purple, all the way up to a deep red. But it seemed to have stopped now that you had plucked it. Interesting, you were going to have to examine why that was.

Collei sheepishly smiled, but quickly worried herself over your bruised and bleeding knee. You tried not to worry her further by suppressing the coughs that were coming from your irritated throat, but she noticed nonetheless.

“It must be the pollen,” Collei said worriedly. “Oh no, What if it’s toxic?”

You pensively shook your head. “This flower doesn’t have the usual characteristics for that.” You explained. “Besides, you breathed in a good amount too just now, and you seem to be fine..?”

A bit of anxiety crept up in your chest. If Collei got sick because of you, you wouldn’t be able to face Tighnari ever again, nor would you be able to forgive yourself. You were going to have to hurry back to Gandharva Ville and ask the expert to be sure.

Said expert Tighnari was not very amused when you returned that evening, but before the lecture, came first aid. He quickly had baths filled for you and Collei. While Collei went to wash the pollen out of her hair, Tighnari went to re-examine and properly clean the wound on your knee.

“I collected samples of the pollen in some flasks, and brought a few complete specimens with the roots intact. They’re really quite unique flowers. I haven’t seen them in textbooks, nor have I ever seen them on our regular patrol routes. If you bring me a map, I can point out where we found these. If we figure out what made them grow there, I’m sure we could find more of them. I-” You were cut off by another coughing fit.

Tighnari watched you worriedly, taking out a stethoscope. “Could you lift up your top? I’d like to examine your breathing.”

You awkwardly did as he said and breathed in and out as he instructed. “I’ll be fine, really! I just took in a big gulp of dust and pollen, it’s only natural my lungs are irritated a bit. Collei breathed it in a small amount as well and she wasn’t coughing at all. This plant doesn’t have any of the usual characteristics present in flora that produce toxins.”

“Maybe.” Tighnari answered curtly, a blank expression on his face. “I’m going to have to examine the pollen to be sure.”

You were silent for a bit as Tighnari noted some things down on a clipboard. The lack of the usual annoyed and sassy lecture was spooking you a little bit. “Tighnari, I… I’m sorry…”

He sighed and finally looked you in the eye, looking for signs of sincerity. “At least you have the decency to know what you did wrong.”

You nodded. “I shouldn’t have put Collei in that position. Next time… Next time I’ll note the location on a map and ask for you or other forest watchers to come with me.”

“Good.” Tighnari said with a nod. “I know you didn’t deliberately put Collei in danger and that’s the only reason I can begin to look past this. I also agree that from the looks of it it’s part of the same genus as the Sumeru rose. If anything I’d be worried this points to an issue with the Ley lines, but I haven’t heard of any incidents that would point to this… They sure produce a lot of pollen though,” He was more so muttering to himself, than he was explaining anything to you.

“However-!” He pointed his pen right in your face, interrupting his own rant. “Although I’m very happy to see some enthusiasm from you, endangering yourself like that is still absolutely unacceptable.” Ah, there came the lecture. One you absolutely deserved, mind you. “Had you fallen unconscious, Collei would have had to go back to the village on her own to get help. Worst case scenario you could have broken your neck and died. The first and most important skill for a forest watcher to learn, is not the ability to secure the safety of the forest and its visitors, but the safety of themselves. Do you understand?”

“You guys talk as I’m not useful to have around at all.” You both turned to a pouting Collei, leaving your response to Tighnari unsaid.

“Your time as a full fledged watcher will come, Collei,” Tighnari calmly explained. “You’re still young, and besides that we have your condition to worry about. Beyond that you know you have my full trust.”

You self-consciously looked away from the two. You wondered what you could do to earn Tighnari’s trust like that. Maybe the flower you discovered really was a new species? Would that get him to talk to you about it?

“Oh I know,” Collei answered, timidly plucking at her nails. “I’m just saying.”

You interrupted the sweet scene with another set of coughs. “S-sorry.. my lungs and throat feel sore, it must’ve all gotten really irritated by all the dust…” Tighnari hummed in thought. “Best you go wash off all that pollen. I’ll have it examined as soon as possible. If that cough hasn’t gone away by tomorrow evening, please come and see me again. And we’re going to have to schedule you in for more forest safety training.”

You cleared your throat. You were hoping he was going to forget about any punishment. Then again, this probably didn’t count as such in his mind. “Alright. Thank you Tighnari.”

“And, (name),” He said after some hesitation, just before you were to leave the hut. You turned to him, met by his soft gaze.  “Please do know there’s nothing you have to prove to me, okay?”

You felt a warmth bloom across your chest. “…Okay.” With that you turned around to leave, but not before having another coughing fit. You quickly dashed out of Tighnari’s hut trying to muffle your cough with your hand. When you removed your hand you saw that you had coughed up a soft pink coloured petal covered in spit. Gross. Though, you supposed that this petal was what was stuck in your throat and that your cough would let up soon.

[eggcats]

I'm fairly sure that in my Housewife Vox AU, Alastor knows he's asexual (and maybe aromantic) because there is NO WAY Vox isn't logged the fuck in and celebrating pride in hell (he's also the embodiment of corporate pride tbh, if he can use it to scam people out of money he WILL)

The second Vox learns what being bisexual is, he immediately did research on everything for both him and Alastor, since none of this information was available when he was alive and Alastor doesn't care enough to look it up for himself (he doesn't feel the need, he's fine with his afterlife and where he's at and his relationship)

However, they're both fucking idiots who will always be bad at communicating, so when Vox DOES learn about being ace/aro it causes a Category 5 Incident because, rather than TALKING with Alastor about any of that, he just ASSUMES that this means that (somehow) he's forced Alastor into their relationship together and that Alastor secretly hates having to kiss and have sex with him

And Vox, of fucking course, doesn't SAY any of this to Alastor, so he just stops initiating anything and any time Vox does want affection or intimacy and Alastor catches on, Vox shoves him away and avoids him

This, obviously, confuses and worries the FUCK out of Alastor because he has absolutely 0 idea what he even DID to make Vox mad at him (and doing his normal "get out of trouble" card of flirting with Vox and turning Vox on isn't working and seems to be making it worse????)

It only gets resolved when (OBVIOUSLY) Rosie forces these idiots to talk to each other, and it comes out that Vox thinks he's somehow manipulated Alastor into their relationship and forces him to do things he doesn't want to do

Vox: I mean, I tell you to kiss me, and when I want to have sex and intimacy, so clearly I'm forcing you to do it!

Alastor, eye twitching, trying not to strangle his picture box: Darling, I've told you since your first year here that I enjoy doing those things With You Specifically, and that I both need AND want you to tell me when you want so I can DO THEM since I don't have the desire to on my own

Vox, sheepish: Oh, right....

Alastor, being forced into doing breathing exercises by Rosie: Did you think you also, somehow, forced me to go into rut?

Vox, hiding his face: I GET IT OKAY

(Rosie smacks Vox for all this because, for once, it's not even Alastor's fault for not communicating, it's HIS. How they're both still so bad at this after years together, she'll never know).

After all that drama, Alastor does (eventually) learn about asexuality and aromanticism, but it took a while because Vox just read the baseline definition and Spiraled instead of talking with Alastor first. If Alastor could have banned the internet after this, he would have.

[flower-boi16]

sorry for the incoming rant.

(cw for: mainly arophobia but also mentions of acephobia and mentions of people shipping an abuser with their victim)

praying for the teens and pre teens who think hazbin is *the* show for queer rep or progressive in any matter. it scares me immensely. not only the blatant fetishism and sex negativity and whatnot, but the fact people are being taught that labels *don't mean anything* and that they can do whatever they want (with a character).

yeah, "i gave my characters labels but fuck those labels ship whatever you want" is SURELY a great sentiment to leave behind. surely nobody would erase or discriminate against labels and identity, right? surely people WOULDN'T repsect labels and identities, right?*COUGH* *COUGH*

seriously the amount of ace- but more aro-phobia in that cult/clusterfuck in that fandom is insane. i hate how the aro tag has been poisoned/infiltrated by red twink no. 45 because of shipping discourse, and these people are being enabled by their "leader", never being lectured correctly. these people will ONLY listen to anyone who either agrees with them or isn't part of said label/identity. im so pissed. aros have little to none rep AT ALL and even then people will erase existing rep or come up with shitty excuses (if i hear the phrase "b-but aros can still date!!" one more time im breaking something. you dont care about the AROMANTIC dating experience, you only care about your stickmen kissing. period.). its more than exhausting.

i am not the only aro and aro-ace severly pissed off by this but im afraid there's nothing we can do. these people ship a severly traumatized victim and their assaulter together so im not suprised. at all.

all i came to know is that nobody actually fucking cares about representation or labels- they're all hopping around in fanfiction-shipping wonderland and bullying people relentlessly if they DARE to think otherwise. and they're being enabled.

-an exhausted and "done" aromantic. (i'm also on the ace spectrum but that's not as important to me right now- even though striker- the only one that's not horny 24/7 and clearly sex-repulsed or at least disgusted, is played as a big joke, but i believe someone else already said that. but that alone should raise eyebrows.)

Honestly, I don't even know what to add other than...this fandom kinda sucks. Like first bullying someone into killing themselves over shipping stuff and now this? And the fact that Viv doesn't call out ANY of this shit at all makes it worse.

Look, I'm of the opinion that we should not blame a creator for having a shitty fandom, HOWEVER, Viv needs to stop enabling her fans and say SOMETHING about this behavior.....but she isn't. Like, she could just say "hey guys stop doing this pls" buuuuut no. She's too busy whining about people criticizing her shows to actually do that.

Alastor is aroace guys, stop trying to erase that part of him just so you can drool over him. Just do that for LITTERALY ANY OTHER CHARACTER. It's that simple.

[aromacaque]

Something I don't think a lot of queer people understand because the aro/ace community is very online-oriented is how little people actually know about aromanticism.

I feel like if you're predominantly in queer spaces (especially online) then of course you have at least heard of aro/ace identities, but IRL I have only met like 2 other aro people. Ever. In my entire life. Most people I meet tend to only know a little bit about it, or more than likely know nothing at all. Most people I meet have never met an aro person ever in their life (that they know of), and it Really shows. Because I think generally speaking most people know of other sexualities and trans people to some degree (i.e. gay, bi, trans). If they don't they definitely know of them. But that's not the same for aromantic people. So whenever I talk about myself, unless I explicitly give the label out to them so they can have a word to associate with my "abnormalities" or the things they think are strange (or even wrong) about me, then they just stare at me like I'm an anomaly.

I have been stared at like an anomaly. I have had many moments with people where me just being vaguely honest about my love life (or lack thereof) has been met with confusion and discomfort from the people around me. Multiple times where I can tell people are uncomfortable and HAVE A PROBLEM with me for either offhandedly mentioning I've never had a crush or just not having much of anything to contribute to a conversation regarding that stuff.

I have also had people claim they could be the exception or that they could "fix me." From both straight and queer people by the way.

My entire existence challenges so much of these people's concept of how social conventions work and so they immediately pinpoint me as being different.

To add to this, that feeling of alienation is very present in queer spaces as well. Being the only aromantic person in the room of other queer people, who claim to be accepting, yet you're always the afterthought? If even thought of at all? That's.. not really acceptance, is it? I don't think so.

I could get into more detail with this but the gist is that I've always felt more comfortable in queer spaces as a trans person than I ever have been as aromantic.

I genuinely don't think other queer people actually grasp how alienating and oppressive socially the experience of being aromantic is. They just see us as "basically cishet" or "QPRs are basically just dating!" when that couldn't be farther from the truth. The way I experience attraction is fundamentally different to the majority of the population, cishet AND lgbt sexualities combined. And it's really annoying to be treated as if we don't ever experience prejudice due to it.

[syn4k]

BREAKING NEWS: The queer-themed superhero Arrow Ace has been out on a justice-fuelled rampage this Valentine's Day Morning, sniping villains from above and appearing randomly to whack people who are being rude to the happily single on the day of love.

This is the first appearance that the Arrow Ace has made since October of last year, and we now go to our field reporter Devon, who has managed to get an interview with the enigmatic hero.

Devon: Thank you Gary! I'm here on the corner of 12th and 7th street in downtown Placeville and next to me is the Arrow Ace, who has graciously agreed to be interviewed. AA: Hello. Devon: Sir, many of our newer viewers want to know who you are and what you do. Do you have an answer for them? AA: Yes. Hi. I'm the Arrow Ace, but you can just call me Ace. I was the sharpest shooter in my archery class in college and later decided to make a pun regarding my identity and thus, the hero personality was born. Devon: So do you have any supernatural abilities or are you just really good with a bow? AA: None whatsoever. I'm just a normal guy 99% of the time. Devon: [short pause to listen through her earpiece] Ah. Yes. A question from the studio. Viewers, Ace is most likely referring to the pun his alias makes when talking about his identity. AA: Yes. I am indeed an aromantic asexual, commonly shortened to aro/ace. Devon: Could you perhaps elaborate on that for those watching who might not know what that means! AA: Of course! A person who is aromantic experiences little, decreased, or no romantic attraction to other people. This may manifest as them not getting crushes, not wanting to participate in dating, or being adverse to romantic activities in general. A person who is asexual experiences little, decreased, or no sexual attraction towards other people. They might not want to participate in sexual activities and may be uncomfortable when the topic is brought up in real life or in media. Devon: I see! Thank you for explaining. Does this have anything to do with your backstory? AA: Yes. I originally took up the mask because as a young man, although I didn't have a word for what I was yet, I was often excluded in school both intentionally and not for not having an interest in dating people. In high school, someone who heard I wasn't interested in sex but also hadn't tried it out yet assaulted me to try and "convince" me otherwise. Ever since, I've been trying my best to be a beacon of light for those going through similar or worse ever since to let them know that there's nothing wrong with them and that you can be happy without those types of relationships. Devon: I see! Is there any reason why you're out and about on Valentine's day specifically? AA: I get asked a lot when seen alone in public if I'm single on this holiday. Most of the time, when I answer with yes, the response is something like "oh you poor soul! May you find love soon!" While the person undoubtedly means well, it still annoys me, so I've decided today to be the guy every aro or ace person wishes they had during that conversation.

[B-roll footage filmed on someone's phone of two person having a conversation. The first person asks "So, got any plans this evening?" The second person uncomfortably replies, "No, not really." The first person responds with "Oh, no! Well, better luck next year. Maybe you'll find someone," promptly cut off mid sentence by the Arrow Ace running up behind them and pwhacking them over the head with a paper towel tube. "You're not less whole or less of a person for not having a romantic or sexual partner," he says to the first person, pointing the tube at them. "That is your business and your business alone. I love you. Have a good day." The two people having the conversation stare after him, perplexed, as he runs off out of view of the camera. The video cuts back to Devon and AA.]

Devon: One last question: how do you know if the person in those discussions is aro or ace? AA: I don't, and I never put them on the spot for it. However, whether you experience attraction to others or not, it's never fun to be judged based on the circumstances you may be in at the moment. Devon: A bit of wisdom for us all. Well, sir, it appears that my time is up, but I appreciate you coming to answer these questions. AA: Of course. And, to all who participate, Happy Valentine's day! The shops always have discounts on chocolate the day after. Go treat yourself if you have the means. You deserve it. Devon: This has been Devon of Lucky 7 News. Back to you, Gary!

Thank you, Devon. I have received reports that a new development is unfolding in southeast Placeville- the Nefarious Anglerfish's cat-fish army is leaping up from the docks to attack unsuspecting couples on their walks. I've been told that the Arrow Ace is on his way to get involved. We'll be right back after these advertisements.