#I'm part of three working groups and each of them is named after a country or a linguistic category

[kaiserin-erzsebet]

I'm going to complain about a specific academic thing:

Nothing makes you aware of the way national categories are the default in history like trying to work outside of or across them.

It's such a trend for people now to say that they want to see more transnational, global, or transatlantic history. But the infrastructure of the discipline is still built around geographically designed categories.

As someone who works across two different geographic contexts and whose argument hinges on taking both equally seriously, there are questions that are hard to answer. Which Conferences should I apply to? What do I call my specialization? Which working groups do I join? Which journals (either geographically defined or methodologically defined) should I send my articles to? When I try to turn my dissertation into a book, what do I tell publishers it is? Which shelf does it go on? The two contexts I work on are shelved on different floors at my home university's library.

If we truly want the discipline to get better about moving beyond national contexts, the way it's categorized needs some introspection.

[nerdy-novelist017]

Apologies (Benny Cross x Shy!Reader pt 6)

Ahhh don't come at me for the lack of updates lately! 😅 I've been so distracted with watching the Olympics and my job. I'm not meant to work a ful-time job, your honor. I just wanna write silly fanfics all day and read all night pls and thanks ! Anyway, enjoy! 🩷

Benny x Bunny Masterlist

Word Count- 3.4k+

Summary- The last person you expect to be there to dry your tears is that stubbornly persistent biker of yours.

******

Pete never showed up to your fundraiser. You had waited the whole afternoon in the hopes that you’d see him, but he wasn’t there for your event. He wasn’t there for the bake sale, or the picnic. He didn’t even show up for the auction which you were sure he’d be interested in that since one of the items to be sold was an expensive golf club set. He must have had other plans, you tried to tell yourself. He must have been too busy. 

You hadn’t seen Benny after that either, but you tried to find that as more of a relief than disappointment, after all, he was the reason you and Pete had a bit of a disagreement anyway. Part of you wondered if he only showed up for your tent since you hadn’t seen him anywhere else at the charity afterwards. Regardless, the hours passed at the picnic and you eventually helped everyone pack up before you left too, riding home on your bicycle. You tried to call Pete when you made it home, but his mother answered and told you he wasn’t home. You asked her to have him call you when he could. You ate dinner with your family and tried to not look too hopeful every time the phone rang because it was never Pete calling you back. You expected to go to bed with a sense of dejection, but instead you were surprised to feel something closer to  . . . relief. 

So the next two days went by quickly. You were too busy with work and household chores to notice that Pete hadn’t called you back. It was only when you had gotten up early to start on breakfast on the third day that he finally did ring you. 

“I’m sorry I haven’t seen you much,” he told you over the phone. “I miss you.”

“It’s okay, I’m sure you were busy,” you mumbled as you stirred the pancake batter, phone receiver balancing precariously between your cheek and shoulder. 

“I want to see you this weekend. I can pick you up around noon on Saturday if you’re free.” 

You agreed a bit reluctantly, but he didn’t seem to catch it. 

******

“Oh, are you going to teach me to golf?” you asked excitedly as Pete pulled into the country club parking lot. He’d been quiet to tell you where it was that he was taking you today, but you wanted to trust the spontaneity of the moment so you let him drive you to the mystery location. Out of all the places he could have surprised you with, this certainly wasn’t what you were expecting. Part of you was confused because you hadn’t expressed a particular fondness for the sport, but another part of you felt warmth that he wanted to share his hobby with you. 

“Yeah, I thought you’d like to join me and the boys today.” He smiled at you as you both exited the car. “Sit in the cart and look pretty while you cheer us on.”

Oh. So he wasn’t even teaching you his hobby. You wanted to say something back, to tell him that you were willing to learn if he taught you, but his friends came over then, interrupting your chance to speak. Pete introduced you to them, five in total and you struggled to remember their names. But it didn’t matter much since all chances of you speaking were thrown out the window when they bear hugged each other, and turned to go out onto the field. You followed behind, quietly trying to find a place in their obviously-tight friend group. And that’s how you spent the next three hours: awkwardly existing in their world, sitting on the cart and watching them play. You were the only girl, and it was clear that they didn’t know how to involve you much in their conversations. And when you were able to pull Pete to the side for a moment, you asked if he could let you take a swing once, just to try it out. He nodded but said, “Well, maybe in the next game, this one I’ve got a bet on and every shot counts.” You didn’t ask again. 

Even though you were still technically spending time with him, this didn’t feel in any way fun or exciting. You tried not to, but your mind drifted to your night spent at the bar with Benny and how fun that was, despite it being a bar full of bikers – a scenario you would have never thought you’d be in, let alone enjoy. As you sat in the golf cart, having nothing better to do than to watch Pete with his friends, you wondered if this was all he wanted you for. Were you really just a doll to him? A trophy? You didn’t get to play? 

After the next game ended, you asked Pete if he could take you somewhere for lunch and he seemed almost reluctant to leave his friends. But in the end, he did agree, and you said goodbye to the band of golfers. You walked back to the parking lot together and when you spotted his car in the distance, you figured this was your chance to actually talk with him, not just listen to him speak. 

“What do you want out of life, Pete?” you asked quietly as you slowed to a stop on the sidewalk.

“What?” He paused a few paces ahead of you, glancing back. “What kind of question is that?” 

“I mean,” you struggled to gather your jumbled thoughts. “What kind of life do you want?”

His brows pinched together in confusion. “Well, I’m going to school for engineering so I’m going to do that.”

You waited for him to continue, but he just shrugged and motioned for the car. “You coming?”

Not seeing the conversation over quite yet, your feet remained firmly planted in your spot. “But what do you want out of life? What do you want for me in your life?” 

“Geez, (Y/N),” he laughed humorlessly. “Where is this coming from?” His expression darkened suddenly. “Is this because of that dirty biker?”

It was your turn to look confused as you opened your mouth to speak, but he cut you off. “Have you seen him again, hmm?”

“I . . . he was at the fundraiser–”

“What did I tell you?” He asked rhetorically as he closed the distance between you. “I don’t want you around that deadbeat again.”

“It wasn’t like I sought him out,” you defended, trying to ignore the rush of agitation at his choice of description. “I had no clue he would be there. I thought you were going to be there.”

“Well, I couldn’t be. You can’t just expect me to drop everything for you at such a late notice.”

“What was more important that you needed to be at?” You frowned.

He rolled his eyes, turning back to the car. “I have my own life.”

That’s when you realized that he was so . . . disconnected, uninterested. He may have wanted you but not in the way of getting to know you. His want was selfish, only born out of lust. He didn’t care about your hobbies or interests. You weren’t even listened to when you spoke to him. The realization was painfully obvious and you felt like a fool, like he had played you. And maybe he wasn’t even aware of it himself, but you could see it now: he didn’t care for you, not in the way you longed for. 

You wrapped your arms around yourself, shaking your head as you watched him approach the driver’s side door. “I know that, but . . . I was just hoping to spend time with you.”

He turned back and threw his arms out dramatically. “I’m spending time with you now, aren't I? Will you just get in the car?” 

You took a deep breath, looking down at your shoes. “I think I’m gonna walk home.”

“Are you serious?” His voice grew colder as he yanked open his door. “Because I didn’t go to your bake sale?”

You shook your head. “No, I like walkin’ and I just want some time to think–”

“You’re going off to find that biker, aren’t you?” 

“What?” Your gaze shot back up to his. “No, I–”

“I knew this would happen.” He shook his head, an unamused smile flashing on his face. “He’s filling your head with all these dangerous ideas. He’s poisoning you against me. Me.”

“I’m not–” 

“Get in the car.” You didn’t realize that it wasn’t a request anymore. 

“Pete, I just don’t–”

“Get in the fucking car, (Y/N)!” He shouted, slamming his hand on the roof, and you jumped at the sound. 

You stared at him, wide-eyed like a deer in headlights. You’d never seen any man act like this, especially not Pete. Panic turned the blood in your veins to ice and you were suddenly painfully aware of just how fast your heart was beating in your chest. Seconds ticked by, and he finally reacted to your speechlessness by rubbing a hand over his face, sighing loudly. 

“Look, just get in the car,” he tried again, his voice barely controlled. “We came here together and I don’t want people to talk about how I’m leaving without you, okay?”

No, it wasn’t okay, you wanted to say, but your throat was suddenly too tight to speak. All you could do was stare at this man who you thought you had a pretty good understanding of, who you never thought would raise his voice at you, who would never command you to do something you very obviously denied. You shook your head, hand holding over your chest in an attempt to even out your heart rate.

He called your name, but you turned and forced your legs to walk, to move away from him. You just wanted to get home to the safety of your bedroom. Behind you, you could hear his car door slam shut and the engine whine as it fired up. He drove over to you, nearly hitting the curb as he weaved.

“Fine, walk home then!” he yelled and revved the engine, tires peeling out on the blacktop as he zoomed away. 

That’s when the tears started falling. You sucked in a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding and a sob choked into it. The sidewalk blurred from the stream of tears but you trudged on, wanting nothing more than to escape the prying eyes of the neighborhood. The action of Pete slamming his hand against the metal proof of his car replayed in your mind and something unpleasant gripped your heart at the realization that what you saw was his reaction to not getting what he wanted the first time. This was supposed to be the exciting moments of you relationship, the time when you were still discovering who each other were. If he could be so easily angered by you now, what would 5 years of marriage look like? What would 10? 

And as you approached the intersection, a thought came to you and you felt sick at the possibility that maybe this is what your mother felt before she married your father. And your grandmother before she married your grandmother. Like a chain, these women with hearts and ambitions and dreams all just got married and became something their husbands wanted, lived a dream their husbands had. And maybe that was their dream, but what if it wasn’t yours?

The revving of an engine broke you free from your all-consuming thoughts and fresh fear spiked through you. Was it Pete coming back? But no, you realized. The engine was coming from the gas station you were passing on the corner, and it wasn’t a car, but a motorcycle. The rider pulled up to one of the free parking spots, cutting the engine and kicking out the kickstand. His back was turned to you, but you knew who it was already by the messy blonde hair and signature blue jacket lettered “Vandals” across the shoulder blades. You groaned because he was the last person you wanted to see right now but you needed to walk right by him to continue on your way home. And as ridiculous as it was, you wanted to cry harder at the thought of him seeing you crying. 

When he dismounted, you quickened your pace, putting your head down in the hopes that he wouldn’t notice you. But of course, you heard him call out, “Hey, Little Bunny.”

You sniffed hard, quickly swiping your fingers across your cheeks as you heard him approach. Even though you didn’t slow your pace, he caught up to you quickly. 

“You walkin’ home again?” His voice was light, teasing but you didn’t dare to look up at him. “You must really like–”

But he must have seen your tear-soaked face because he stopped, his hand gently grasping your upper arm. “What’s wrong?”

You bit your lip, and against your better judgment, you glanced up at him. That was all it took before his shoulders visibly stiffened, and his jaw locked tightly. “Who did this?”

“Nobody,” you muttered softly, voice cracking. “I’m fine.”

“Was it Pete?” his grip remained firm on your arm.

“Please, just leave it alone, Benny,” you whispered desperately, and his eyes softened as he released you. A painfully long beat played out between you as you watched him decide if he wanted to press you further for details. But to your surprise, he dropped it, instead, reaching out, his calloused thumb brushing away a solitary tear from the apple of your cheek. You flinched at the contact, not expecting him to touch you so intimately. As quick as he was to make contact, so was he able to let his hand fall back to his side, leaving you wide-eyed at the act. 

“Let me give you a ride home, please,” he asked, his voice so quiet, so compassionate that you were honestly dumbfounded that this was a biker in a notoriously revered club standing before you. “I don’t want you to have to walk back when you’re upset like this.”

You glanced down the sidewalk, knowing you still had a few miles to go before you’d see your house in the distance. You sniffed again, “You won’t try to propose to me again, will you?”

“No strings attached, I promise,” he replied quietly. 

You relented, nodding slightly, and you didn’t protest when he slid his hand into yours, lacing your fingers together and gently tugged you back to his bike. 

******

Benny drove slowly back to your house, and you just buried your face against his jacket the entire ride, focusing on the gentle rhythm of his heartbeat. It gave you time to settle your breathing, to dry your tears, and when he finally did pull up to your house, a disappointed wave surfaced over you. He put both feet down to balance you both, but he didn’t cut the engine, and you didn’t release your arms from around his torso.

“Can we . . . keep going?” you asked hesitantly, unsure of just how patient he was willing to be with you.

“You wanna keep going?” he questioned over his shoulder, and you responded with a brief nod. “Where?”

“Anywhere, just not here.”

He pushed off the ground, revving the engine slightly and the bike picked up speed as you left your neighborhood. You tightened your grip as he drove you out of the city, down the long country roads, past barns and farms, out by the lake and through the winding back roads which cut the woods. He drove until the sun began to make its descent over the far wheat fields, the last warmth of those golden rays catching the two of you like a spotlight, like you were the only two people on stage. And you realized that’s what riding with Benny felt like: solidarity together. You’ve felt a strange sense of loneliness most of your life, even when you were surrounded by others who loved you, but with Benny . . . it was like you were finally being seen. No, not just seen, it was like you were finally being heard. 

But reality came back too quickly when Benny pulled up to a stop light, hand moving to brush across yours as he asked, “You ready to go back now or d’you wanna keep going?”

Keep going, your heart wanted to shout, keep going and let’s drive until we hit the sandy beaches of California. But your head always won the battle in the end, and you only nodded mutely. 

When Benny pulled up in front of your house again, he cut the engine, but remained seated. He held his hand out for you as you dismounted, and he wanted to say something – anything– to make sure that you were okay, to help you. But Benny’s not known for his good communication skills so he clenched his jaw tightly, frustration building in his chest. You needed him, you needed to be consoled, and he was so pathetic that he wasn’t even sure how. 

Sure, he knew how to have someone’s back, especially in a fight. He knew how to throw punches and get back to his feet after getting knocked down. He could do that all day. But you staring at him with your Bambi eyes and heartbroken expression, he couldn’t take it. He just wanted to pull your tiny frame to him and kiss away the tears, to tell you that everything would be okay because he’s got your back. Then a horrible thought clouded his mind because what if he was the reason you were crying? A bitter taste filled his mouth at the possibility. And my god, how stupid could he be because of course he had to dig himself deeper into that hole when he had told you that he wouldn���t apologize for his conversation with your date. At the time he said it, he had no guilt or shame for his actions because he saw nothing wrong with it. He wanted you more than Pete did, he was sure of that. But now as he glanced at your sweet face, he realized that his actions could have hurt you. And all for what – his pride? That seemed so insignificant now.

“Thank you for the ride,” you said ever-so-politely. 

Before you could turn to walk to your front porch, Benny’s hand reached out to lightly touch your own, and he blurted out, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for what I did to Pete. That was wrong, and I see that now. I’m sorry if what I did has hurt you in any way, that was never my intention.”

Your frown deepened, and Benny’s heart sank. But then you said, “I’m not upset with you, Benny, but thank you. That . . . that means a lot to me.”

He was at a loss for words, struck by your angelic voice and unwavering benevolence. He could only watch as you slipped from his grasp and turned away. You were walking away from him, but Benny couldn’t help but feel it meant something more than just putting physical distance between you. His mind raced with thoughts, trying to find something he could say to get you to stop, to be able to see your face again. 

However, it seemed that fate had other plans because you halted in your tracks, hesitating a moment before spinning back around and approaching him again. He opened his mouth to ask if you were okay, but you cut him off as you leaned up and planted a quick kiss to his cheek. His heart skipped a beat at the gentle touch of your soft lips, and he widened his eyes as you pulled back, a shy smile on your face. He grinned because every time he thought he had you figured out, you continued to pull stunts on him. You were the most entertaining thing he knew. 

You took a few steps backwards, but maintained his eye contact as you spoke, “Maybe . . . next time we could go a little faster?”

He knew you were referring to the bike, but God help him because heat burned in his lower belly, and he wanted to pick you up over his shoulder and carry you into your house where he’d show you just what speed he was capable of. He wasn’t sure you even knew what effect your words had on him, or if you even knew the sexual implications, but he felt himself losing a battle of will. “You want there to be a next time?”

You nodded and that adorable rosy color tinted your cheeks. “Yeah, if-if you do.”

He shook his head in disbelief that you were finally giving him a chance. Though looking at your sweet smile now, he didn’t seem to mind the extra effort he had to put in. “You wanna go fast? Look who’s the trouble now.”

You fought to control your smile. “Goodnight, Benny.”

“Night,” he replied as he watched you walk back up the steps to your house, his fingers ghosting over the spot on his cheek that you kissed, wondering if apologies were really that easy. 

-Tag List-

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[joeliz99]

"You, Always." - Danny Ramirez

Warnings: Slowburn, RPF Fic, Multi-part series

Part One

Time to start over.

Danny and (Y/N) hadn’t seen each other in almost three years—since the day he graduated from college.

Honestly, they’d started growing apart even before that. But it all escalated after a conversation they had right after the graduation ceremony. That was the last time they spoke, and after that, the silence settled in—a strange, unnatural distance, only broken by occasional mentions of each other’s names through mutual friends.

They both focused on themselves. For some time, it felt like a lot was left unsaid. But, there was not much any of them could do when pride and hurt weighted more than anything else. It was over, and after some time, they accepted the idea and moved on. For good.

At least that's what Danny thought, until he learned that he was going to see her again.

Amelia and Yason, still close friends to both of them, were getting married. And of course, that was the perfect reason to reunite the whole friend group. Amelia had always been the glue in their circle, and she was determined to bring everyone back together—even if it meant flying people in from different states and countries to celebrate.

She was on the phone with Danny, making sure he’d confirmed his attendance when she casually mentioned something that caught him off guard.

"So, you're for sure coming, right?" Amelia asked, her voice relaxed but unmistakably friendly, the conversation now going on for good a while.

"Would I lie to you?" Danny grinned, though she couldn't see it. "I'll be there."

"Okay, perfect. So… should I add a plus one to your RSVP or…?"

"No," Danny replied, a breath of laughter escaping him while finishing up the last lap of his afternoon run. "Just me. No plus one."

Amelia’s voice shifted slightly, more upbeat. "Awesome. I’m working on a little hangout before the wedding. Trying to coordinate everyone's schedules. If I'm lucky, I can get the bridesmaids to come a couple of days earlier. (Y/N) and Reiny are supposed to stay with me for a couple of days, but I’m not sure about the others.”

“(Y/N)?” Danny asked, a hint of curiosity in his voice as his jog slowed.

“Yeah, (Y/N). She's one of my bridesmaids...” Amelia’s response carried a tone that suggested it should’ve been obvious.

"What? Cat got your tongue?" she teased.

"No… No, it’s just… it’s been a while since I’ve seen her. How’s she doing, anyway?"

The conversation shifted. Amelia wasn’t one to keep things to herself, but she also felt it wasn't the right thing to vent about (Y/N)'s life without her knowing. So, instead, she made sure to make it clear that her friend had being doing well, thought her life had changed in the years since. And at last, she ended up with a single expression.

" I think you two have some catching up to do. Just... Try not to waist it."

Unlike Danny, (Y/N) hadn’t known he would be at the wedding. She couldn’t say she wasn’t surprised when she found out—he had been busy with his acting career, blowing up in ways that kept him constantly moving. She figured he’d be wrapped up in projects and rehearsals, so his presence at the wedding seemed unexpected but not completely shocking.

Two days before the wedding, the closest friends and loved ones of the bride and groom met at a restaurant in SoHo. The rooftop section was packed with people, surrounded by familiar faces and the kind of easy camaraderie they tend to have. The music played, laughter floated through the air, and the evening felt just as alive as it ever had.

Danny showed up an hour late, but that didn’t stop Yason from spotting him immediately. He walked over, pulling Danny into a warm hug like nothing had changed.

As the group noticed Danny entering, the attention shifted toward him—especially from those who had been closest to him back in the day. (Y/N)’s gaze lingered a little too long as he moved through the crowd. Her heart skipped when their eyes met, and she quickly looked away, pretending to focus on the menu at the bar. The nerves started to bubble up.

But Danny, feeling that same familiar pull, walked toward her, moving through the crowd with a calm confidence that made (Y/N)'s heart race again.

"Hey." A light tap on her arm brought her back to the present. She looked up to see him standing there, smiling like no time had passed.

"Danny, hi," she greeted, trying to sound casual, though her voice betrayed her nerves.

"Been a while, huh?" Danny’s voice was light, but there was something tentative beneath it. He sat next to her, glancing around at the group before his focus shifted back to her. "How’s everything? How’s the family doing?"

The conversation flowed easier than (Y/N) expected, like they’d never been apart. It felt natural, comfortable, yet full of the kind of unspoken tension only old friends—or maybe something more—could share. That last conversation they had, the one that shifted things between them, lingered in the air, but neither of them was ready to address it. They chose to ignore it, for now.

Danny noticed how (Y/N) had changed. She was still the same person, but there was something different now—something that made him pause before speaking. He didn’t want to sound like he was only noticing how much she'd grown, but it was hard to ignore.

"This one’s on me," Danny said, trying to keep things light after they both ordered another round of drinks.

"No, really, you don’t have to," (Y/N) protested.

"I know." Danny grinned, but his gaze flickered to hers before darting away. "So, you graduated! What’s next for you?"

"Well..." She took a sip of her drink, rolling her eyes with a laugh. "Good question. I moved to Miami. Been trying to get my name out there as a songwriter. You know how it is—saturated market, fewer opportunities. Just trying to stand out."

"I get it," Danny nodded. "With acting, it’s the same. Gotta stay consistent, keep pushing through… But hey, Miami? That’s my hometown!"

"I know," (Y/N) replied, a knowing smile pulling at her lips.

Danny leaned in slightly, lowering his voice just a bit, as though making the conversation more private. "Well, listen… I’m not living there right now because of projects, but if you need—"

Before he could finish, Amelia appeared out of nowhere, slinging her arm around both of them. "Sorry to interrupt, but we’re about to order food. You guys can keep talking after that."

The flow of the night continued, and soon enough, (Y/N) and Danny were seated at opposite ends of the table.

Amelia leaned over to (Y/N) once they were settled. “Saw you two talking,” she said, an amused look on her face. “How’d it go?”

“It was good,” (Y/N) said quietly, more subdued than she expected. “I just... wasn’t expecting him to be here. You didn’t mention it.”

"I know," Amelia replied with a small, knowing smile. "I didn’t want to make it weird. It’s been a while, but I think you both deserve a second chance."

"A second chance for what?" (Y/N) raised an eyebrow, but there was a slight churn in her stomach at Amelia’s words.

"Chill," Amelia said, her smile soft and teasing. "What I mean is, there’s no need to act like strangers. You two were close—really close. Don’t let time or any other thing ruin that."

“We’re fine,” (Y/N) said quickly, her gaze avoiding Amelia’s. Her stomach twisted again, but she didn’t want to admit that part of her was unsettled by the idea of facing Danny again.

"Exactly," Amelia agreed, her voice gentle. "Just relax and enjoy tonight. That’s why we’re here."

The rest of the night passed in a blur—laughter, more drinks, and conversations that ended drifting from one hangout spot to the next one. By the time the energy started to fade, only six of them—the core group—remained, still hanging out under the soft glow of the city lights. Everyone was tired, and instead of catching a ride, they walked back to the hotel after realizing it was past 2 am.

Amelia, who'd been a bit tipsy for most of the night, leaned on (Y/N), who was trying to keep it together but clearly feeling the weight of the exhaustion, too.

“I swear we were almost there 20 minutes ago. How much farther is it?!”

Reiny, already annoyed, replied, “You’ve been saying that for the past five blocks, Amelia. I can’t believe we actually listened to the drunkest person in the group. I just want to be in bed by this point.”

"Bro, we used to pull all-nighters and still go out for breakfast. This is a warm-up. We’re 25, not 60," René interrupted, not missing a beat of the conversation.

" Speak for yourself. I was an old lady at heart back then, and I still am now." (Y/N) replied after an instant, sensing how Amelia giggled and leaned on her more heavily than necessary, making her stumble a little.

“Baby, why don’t we leave (Y/N) alone? Come lean on me,” Yason said, picking up the pace a little before both girls ended up on the floor.

“But she's fi—” Amelia started to complain.

“No, actually?” (Y/N) cut her off. “You go do that. My feet are killing me, Ame. I’ve been wearing heels since 3 pm, and I can barely feel them by now.” (Y/N) practically shoved Amelia toward Yason, who was right next to her.

As (Y/N) shifted her weight, trying to keep steady, Danny picked up the pace to walk beside her, glancing at her shoes before his gaze met her face.

He didn’t say anything for a moment, then casually stopped forcing the guys to do so too and pulled off his sneakers to hand them over to her. "Here, these’ll probably be more comfortable," he said, his tone completely unbothered, almost as if it were no big deal.

(Y/N) looked down at the sneakers, slightly taken aback but not wanting to make it awkward. "What? I— No. That’s kind of... I don't know. You don't have to."

"So, you’d rather get blisters than take up my offer? It’s only like 10 minutes more before we get to the hotel."

"You know how dirty the streets of NY are, dude?" (Y/N) raised an eyebrow, still not believing what he was doing.

"I have socks on. You’re not going to last two more minutes more in those. C’mon, just take them. Don't overthink it."

Her hesitation lasted a moment longer before she gave in, still unsure of what in the world was happening right there. "Alright, fine. Thanks."

Danny didn’t make a big deal about it, just slipping his hands into his pockets as she changed shoes for all of them to continue their way. The guys, still trailing behind, and having noticed the exchange, passed a few quiet chuckles between them.

Yason muttered low enough for only the guys to hear, his grin broadening. "Oh man, I missed this."

René chuckled under his breath, looking sideways at Danny. "Classic move, man. Taking one for the team, huh?"

Danny shot them a look, rolling his eyes with a small smile on his face, but didn’t say a word as they kept walking.

Meanwhile, (Y/N) pushed herself to go back to Reiny's side, grateful for the offer but still feeling the oddness of the situation. She couldn’t quite shake the feeling that she didn't know how to act around him, and for the mean time, it was just something she had to live with.

As the group finally took the last turn to get to the hotel, the faint sound of laughter and quiet chatter filled the air. The night felt light again, the easy rhythm of old friendships slowly falling back into place.

Second part now available here!

Still wanting to read more? Here are some other Danny's shots to read. You're welcome!!!!

[illarian-rambling]

Day three: Will Anarac get reunited with those he lost if not what lays beyond end?

Ok so this is gonna be spoilery fr, but in a weird way, since I'm not sure if this is actually gonna be included in Starbreaker. Let's get into why the Araunian desert is the way it is and probably way more lore than you ever wanted >:)

(For this askmas game)

Beyond End, there do indeed exist the last of the Araunians, in the form of eternally preserved bits of magic. Why are they stuck like that? Well, a few centuries after Anarac kicked the bucket, there was this really important historical figure named King Pashuar IV. He was the elected king of Araun, having taken the name Pashuar upon his coronation. Before becoming king, though, he'd been a mage - and he most certainly did not leave his mage ambitions behind.

In all of Illari history, only one mortal has used the Veil to ascend to something like a god: the Gloaming Queen. King Pashuar IV intended to be the second. However, instead of concentrating the power of the Veil within himself, he screwed up and essentially ripped the soul out of every person in his country and bound them within the Veil instead, doing the same to the already dead souls of his people as well. The resulting vacuum of magical potential ripped a hole between the Veil and reality, which is why the Araunian desert is so polluted by rotting magic.

So where does that leave the Araunians? Every Araunian, living at the time or long dead, is now made of magic, essentially. A lot went insane, a lot still haunt the Araunian desert, but a few realized that they have a lot of potential as beings of magic. Namely, End doesn't care about magic from the Veil, only from the gods. So, a decent amount of Araunians decided, fuck it, we're starting over beyond End.

They've kinda just been chilling out there for a while. They've learned how to fabricate spaceships (of a sort) and how to erase their nonessential memories every so often so they don't go insane from eternal life(ish). They've learned how to shape the Veil and live within it. They sort of just wander now, searching for other bastions of life since, if they're gonna be here forever, might as well have a hobby, right?

The important part of this is that Baerdyn and Finlay, Anarac's sons, are a part of this spacefaring group. They've been around so long that they're adults in a mental sense, though they still look the age they did when they died. Baerdyn works as a news anchor, announcing daily goings-on aboard one of the Araunian space stations. Finlay is a researcher, still trying to untangle the mystery of how exactly his and everyone else's souls are bound to the stuff of magic itself. Both are coping pretty well - they go to therapy and keep in close contact with each other and stuff. They can erase their nonessential memories (schedules and meetings and boring stuff) while keeping the important ones (friends and lovers and, importantly, their lives as mortals) so they don't go insane under the weight of their own minds like their father is busy doing.

So yeah, this is what Anarac and the crew of the Starbreaker will find beyond End - several ethereal space stations of an ancient people stuck in time. It'll definitely be strange for Anarac, reconciling who his kids are now after several thousand years of them living their own lives. Baerdyn and Finlay have had a lot of time to heal, but that doesn't mean being murdered by their possessed father wasn't, you know, traumatic. And even if it ignores them, that doesn't mean they aren't still highly wary of End and any residual connection it might have to Anarac. Baerdyn will be a little more welcoming of Anarac, whereas Finlay will be more suspicious since he actually had to watch Anarac do all the killing and dismembering and such.

Either way, I'm optimistic. No matter how they've grown up, Anarac would never be anything but overjoyed to see his boys and finally get a chance to apologize. And he's got the rest of his crew at his side.

This was probably, like, way more lore than you wanted but hey now you know what's up with Araun! Thanks for the ask <3

[wonderful-magician]

DAROACH HEAD CANNON RAMBLING???

More likely than you would think my friends.

Ok so I worked on the drawing above for maybe 10 hours and I'm very proud of it! And I felt like this post would be a good transition into elaborating MY VERY LONG LIST OF HEAD CANNONS for this rat.... Since he has very little backstory canonically similarly to most Kirby characters who have like a sentence of backstory. And unlike Meta knight or King DDD who have a general concept or idea. We know nothing about the silly rodents!! Nothing!!

( NOTICE THIS IS ONLY FOR MY GIJINKA VERSION OF HIM!! )

So I'm here to basically write a whole damn book for these guys. But specifically daroach because... I'm biased. Lmao. SO I decided to give him something! The life of a poor child from 1920!! ....woohoo?

I believe I've said this before, and I don't think it's that crazy- but I enjoy playing with the fact these characters are for the most part from different planets and have different cultures and experiences because of this. And I love to write little things about it. And just like many others. We have no idea where daroach is even from in the first place.

I like to think the original species of squeaks/squeakers originated from the forgotten land. But at some point they all moved to different planets and locations. You can find them on different planets, and they have a unique culture to each other. The only thing they all share is the bells! Which I shared on my post all about the bells!!

Anyway I figured I would have two bulletin lists about the fun head cannons of mine! But put both of them here for simplicity. And I hope this is coherent and doesn't come off too ... Wow! Tragedy! Daroach is really a chill, happy guy despite some of the things that happened to him in my personal canon...

Despite the events I list here, Daroach actually has a very positive attitude and outlook on life! Despite how his homworld has shitty living conditions and child labor.

Daroach lived with his father until he was ten, when his father was drunk and shot by an officer for being openly against the current mayor.

Daroach never met his mother. But he worries about it little. He cared about it more when he was younger. He also has no known extended family.

Daroach had to live in the streets for a while because of this. Working as a newspaper boy.

He met Storo during this time. The two quickly became good friends. As Daroach was fast and Storo was ... Big. Even as the two were only 10-12 year olds.

The boys became familiar with a lot of the adults in town. Knowing the baker or the locals well. Storo liked to speak to a specific man named doc, quite often.

One harsh winter. Daroach gets sick. And Storo starts to feel under the weather as well. Storo, worried for their well being. Begs doc for help one morning. Doc, after seeing the full conditions of the two boys. Let's them stay with him.

While this was originally temporary, doc ended up enjoying their company. And the three live together like a family. But none of them want to call it a family.

Daroach starts working at a factory and so does Storo. Doc trying to revive his career as a scientist. ( and failing.. miserably. ) around this time doc also takes in spinni. Who's only 7.

Daroach starts to become a more intense thief. While he was always good at it, he did live on the streets for two years after all. But he gets... Very good at theft. For he learns how to float and teleport.

As they all get older. They form a early version of the squeak squad. But it's more like a group formed against the current situations and political climate. As a civil war is occuring in the country and the city is very divided.

Daroach gets himself into a lot of fights. But is both loved and hated by the press. For his hatred to the government but attractive looks by squeak standard.

After daroach is wounded in a fight. They get money, and leave on their newly made airship. Never to return to this planet. As it's just miserable there.

Ok that was a basic outline of his story on my end! Time for more basic head cannons that can be applied much easier !!

Daroach has been smoking since he was like 13. This was normal for his planet. But nowadays he mostly understands his mistakes. But he still smokes, even if he's polite about it and smokes outside it matters little. Meta knight likes to absolutely mock him for this...

Daroach hates being hatless for an extended period of time. It's just ...weird...

Daroach is the only squeak/squeaker to stand on his tiptoes constantly.

Won the triple star in a bet with a certain wizard who plays star stacker.

Used to have a alcohol problem, as his father originally did. But he did actually recover from this.

Dated meta knight for a couple months before they broke up with no explanation.

Nobody but them and galaxia know why.

At the age of 11 he developed a limp and still to this day he doesn't even understand how he got this mysterious limp.

Owns like three of the same outfit and does his laundry often. Pure comfort

Hates not being formal. You won't find this man in public wearing slides and a T-shirt. Must be a poet shirt. Or something alike that.

Totally not weird that he dated meta knights reflection. When he broke up with the real thing.

Okay this better post correctly 🙂

[thatonerylan]

Ice On My Teeth

Warnings: mature, smut, angst, death, violence, non-con

Summary:

When the mafia ruled most of the country, three boys found themselves stuck together, However, all were in rival mafia gangs. All ruling a part of Korea. One in the north, one in the middle, and one in the southern islands of South Korea. Will there be a Selfish Waltz between the three or will they be able to show their Crazy Form to each other while trying to keep their factions a secret?

Words: 1k

Being from the Seoul mafia is one thing, but ruling all over the upper part of Korea up until the 38th parallel, ranging from Gyeonggi-do all the way across to Gangwon-do had been another. Made normal activities difficult, Especially for Yeosang. Having the main headquarters in Seoul, and little meeting areas across Incheon, Suwon, and Chuncheon, he was out mainly most hours of the day especially since it was to protect their area from different mafias. He is Sector A, the most prestigious faction to ever start in Korea.

Being the lead in Sector A -Paradigm as most know- made the day interesting, considering he had to meet up with the other two factions. Sector Z ruled the middle part parts of Korea - Cheongu, Daejeon, Daegu, Chungcheongnam-do, Chungcheongbuk-do, and Gyeongsangbuk-do- and the Southernmost region that didn't have a name but ranged from Jeollabuk-do which held Jeonju, Jeollanam-do holding Muan and Gwangju and Gyeongsangnam-do which held Changwon, Ulsan, and Busan. Jeju Island as well.

However, there was a disagreement between Sector A and Sector Z. Sector A was known to be neutral against trivial matters that didn't evolve them and keep their space from the other two factions, however, Sector A had two men killed over Daegu which made news between the two factions. They were meeting in Busan to discuss the meeting since it would be in foreign land.

But Sector A, Sector Z, and the southern factions had been in cahoots together to try and get the leader out of hiding. Which they successfully managed to do when Sector A declared a meeting. A meeting that required all three sectors.

After what seemed centuries, all three Sectors would be meeting together. To either discuss a peace treaty between them or keep being at each other's throats. A peace treaty would be rare between the three Sectors, but it would be the first in 400 years since the Emperor had a peace treaty with North Korea.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Twirling his finger on the rim of the glass during his morning meeting with smaller groups in the area, Yeosang leaned back in his chair heavily. Unamused at the propositions he was hearing, his hand constantly waving with a flick of his wrist to send them off if he found them uninterested. What lay heavy in the back of his mind had been the big sector meeting. It made his stomach churn thinking about it. The meeting wouldn't be for a while - more like later in the day-, but it kept his mind going. Ultimately zoning him out when there was a man in front of him discussing how they could start smuggling in weapons from Jeju or other countries by boat so that way they could have more resources.

"What I'm saying could work- we get a few men to go on cargo boats at night to wherever the boats go- load them up and come back-"

The man waved his hands trying to describe the situation, Yeosang sat back watching and looking unamused at the whole thing, waving him off while the man was explaining mid-conversation.

"Bland, Boring, and how will this benefit me in any way?. If it can't benefit me and my men, then I will not see to it!"

He slammed his hands down on the desk, the anger getting to him. He had just lost two men in 24 hours and this was what he had to deal with? Having the man be escorted out, he downed the strong whiskey that lay bare in his glass, a subtle groan leaving his mouth before turning his head to look out the big window in his main office.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He tilted his head with a slight glare when he got told that he would be picked up to be taken to the meeting place since it would be dangerous to go on the main highways and strips of the road... It didn’t seem like much, but he had to do it. Ether now or never, and if it didn't get done, who knew how many more men would die or if they would eventually come for him

“Where am I going to this boring meeting? Sector Z or something like that?”

"Actually, it is in Busan. Farther south than normal. It will take a few hours to actually get there."

The mention of where it had been located -which wasn't in Sector Z and somewhere that he hadn't been before- audibly made Yeosang groan. He didn’t want to go all the way there for a couple of hours. Besides nobody there he even liked, so most times he would always catch up later since he would get the message from a different guy that went. 

But this time he actually had to go alone. No ands, ifs or buts. With a sigh, he turned on his heels, going to actually change into professional clothes. However, he decided he wouldn’t show all his face. 

Grabbing his silver phantom mask, he buttoned up his lace black shirt, brushing his hair back before slipping on his silver mask. Part of his face covered as he smiled to himself before turning on his heels, adjusting his sleeves, and closing the door behind him. Going into unknown areas and revealing his whole face could deal bad things to his faction since the others could use it to slander his name, put hits out on him for no reason, or send men out to stalk him and go as bait for a hit and murder spree.

Once he reached the discreet black car that carried a fake license plate over the original one, he climbed into the backseat, closing the door behind him. Mentioning to the driver where he was headed. 

The rumbles of the car underneath came to life as it pulled out of the hidden drive and onto the main streets which would soon turn into backroads and different routes to get there since they needed anyone tailing them that seemed suspicious of where they were going. 

Glancing up into the rearview mirror, a slight smile raked over Yeosang’s face. Only half was seen since a chrome silver mask covered half of his face.

It would be amusing to him to see an old friend… one that took over Sector Z after disappearing off the face of the earth years prior, never reaching out or making any effort to contact him. Always ignoring his calls and letters that he would send or deliver. 

The childhood friend was none other than his ex-bandmate… Jeong Yunho. 

[doingbackflipsonit11]

I'm Back with another OC!!! This time it's an older member of the team and one that both me and @stinkass0 both love so much. I can't wait to get into it and hope y'all like him!

Meet my favorite fuckhead

Jack Donkey

Call Sign: Ass

Age: 38 (Born 2034)

Height: 5'11

Texan 🇺🇲

Dumbass

Preface

-Jack is part of the Special Ops Team in the year 2072. This team is composed of many different people from many different walks of life but with one thing keeping them together. They each have been victims of an extreme war against a large terrorist organization. They have been injured and have had to have parts of their bodies replaced with Bionic replacements that enhance their abilities and make them super soldiers. This team now travels by Helicarrier to provide relief to targets of the terrorist group, perform recon/gather Intel on the terrorist group, and attack the terrorist group in major ways.

Country Roads

Jack Shayne Donkey was born in El Paso, Texas. His family was very well off and owned a horse ranch where they would raise and rehabilitate horses and cattle. He grew up gentling wild horses and bonding with the horses that were staying on their Ranch. He was often called 'Horseboy' by his school friends because that's what he rode to school in and what he rode home. His best friend, Pepper, an Appaloosa that Jack himself had helped Birth. He did everything with her, rode her around the property, ate breakfast with her, and helped her through many illnesses. His mothers noticed his affinity towards horseback riding and signed him up for private training in equestrian. There, Jack excelled, he caught on quickly and was passing up many kids that were his age. He would come home after school every day and instead of homework, he would go practice for the next time he would have training with the instructor.

One Big Ass

As Jack grew older, his passion for equestrian riding only grew with him. He signed up for the Equestrian team at school and took many Agriculture classes. It was the summer before his Junior year when he competed in the 2050 FEI Jumping World Championships and the end of his Junior year when he made the US Olympic Team for Equestrian. He was officially pronounced the youngest Olympic Equestrian Competitor and he made it clear he was playing to win. With all the hustle of trying out for the Olympic team, Jack pushed aside his schooling and was barely scraping by. His moms instantly jumped on his case about slacking in school and only playing with his horse. They threatened his spot on the Olympic team if he didn't shape up and pass Highschool. Jack didn't worry too much and passed his senior year, not with the best grades but with the best memories. Jack had no downtime after graduation though, he needed to get to work both physically and mentally but also the paperwork. Again, without missing deadlines, he certified his spot on the team and flew to Aukland, New Zealand for the 2052 Olympic Games.

Summer Days; Drifting Away

The three weeks that Jack Donkey was in Aukland were the greatest. His event was one of the first to compete and Jack took home Gold for USA, making him the Youngest Olympic Gold Medalist in Equestrian. Jack had really made a name for himself and gained quite the fanclub for his looks. It was the day of the closing ceremony and Jack Donkey was seated to watch when the 2052 Olympics became the last. The one event that brought the globe together, no longer peacefully celebrated. The first terrorist attack occurred, and Jack had just missed the initial bombing. He instantly kicked it into high gear once the smoke had cleared. He raced to where the closing ceremony was occurring and started helping remove still living people from the wreckage. It was a gruesome sight and got worse when another batch of planes flew over the arena and sent more bombs, right where Jack was standing.

Adjusting

When Jack woke up, he was in a hospital bed being experimented on, having a needle poked into his arm. He looked down at where he was being poked and what he saw was a metal arm where his forearms should've been. He demanded to know what had happened and if Pepper was okay. She didn't make it and neither did most of the Olympians. It was a global cold war. Nobody was going to do anything and everybody wanted answers. That's where Jack and his new teammates came in. They were to receive excruciating training and work for an independent company to figure out who bombed the Olympics and many other places that night in repayment for his new arms. "Hell No" Jack stated many times, very clearly. He refused and refused, but strived to be set free from his hospital room, so he agreed and cooperated, under one condition of course, they got a cool ass boat. The company caved in and ordered a yacht while the team endured training. During this training, Jack requested many upgrades in his new arms. He wanted them to shoot fire, bullets, a lasso, and contain a full body shield. He was then asked where all of it would fit and he caved in with it shooting bullets, Having a collapsible riot shield, and retractable blades. This demanding and getting his was garnered him the Call Sign 'Ass' because he was as stubborn as one.

[farasen]

regarding the ethnicity ask: since Markus' family is portrayed as being old money – old ass house, butler, insane wealth, a last name that suggests nobility (he technically is Markus OF Theumer) – it is unlikely that he (at least from his father's side) is anything else than German. The generational wealth the Theumers seem to have has pretty ugly implications about the family's past if you think about it for too long, and Dad Theumer navigates the world in a way that suggests that he and his family have faced very little adversity in their lives (= he acts like he has a right to be there). Though obviously this all says nothing about the background of Markus' mom!!! And I don't want to diminish your headcanons or anything, feel absolutely free to ignore this (this is your space after all)!, the idea of Markus being part of groups that have historically been very persecuted in Germany/Europe just gave me a bit of a pause for the reasons I mentioned. And I have admittedly spent too much time thinking about the Theumer family and where their money even comes from and all that. I really hope this doesn’t come off as rude or anything... I LOVE reading all your headcanons, and I love the idea of thinking about these characters’ backgrounds a bit more, since there are only three relevant characters who are not white on the show (Erol, Deniz, Kong), and it could use a bit more diversity for sure. Speaking of: do you want to share more about your headcanons about Erol’s past? (The episode about the special shoes also solidified in my mind that he grew up in Germany as the child of guest workers, so I’d love to hear more of your thoughts!)

I'm not familiar with all those nuances in the surnames, nor am I really interested in Markus to be honest. But if you think about it yeah, his dad's bloodline is most likely purely Germans. But then again we have his mom! Though she doesn't really look poc or anything, but still. Don't worry about being rude, you aren't! I like reading others ramblings after all.

Speaking of poc characters, I also thought about Hadschi. He's not dark-skinned, but I'm pretty sure he's Turkish too. Or he could be just Muslim. Or both. The cartoon gives very little information about his past, not to mention his upbringing, so it's up to fans ig. Pretty sure he is Turkish in the films tho.

I've already made a few posts regarding Erol's character, so I'll just kinda summarize it there. First of all, yeah, I believe that he was brought up in a family of guest workers, which might be the reason he lived pretty poor as a child (since he mentioned not affording those fancy shoes when he was younger). I also like to think that he struggled to speak German and integrating into country's culture in general as child. That's when a nice girl showed up and helped him with that. The girl would be Deniz' mother eventually. And they were good friends and all, so the feelings for each other just naturally grew up on them.

However, let's nor forget that Erol is most likely a teen dad. He started giving high hopes for his soccer career, because he was interested in sports since he was a child, but that didn't help his relationships with Deniz' mom. So he and the girl realized that they don't work for each other that well and fall out. His hard work paid off eventually and he became a football superstar and lived wealthy ever since. And just because he had it rough, Erol's probably that controlling over Deniz for the same reason with his "being with the best". He just doesn't want his child to feel the hard kicks from this world, as edgy as it sounds.

[sapphic-courtship-for-dummies]

ok ok ok so. i'm in a very complicated situation rn. lemme start from the beginning: -so i'm best friends with this girl for years -our friend group talks abt sexualities, me + other girl come to conclusion that we're bisexual, the best friend thinks she *might* be too -realize i'm in love with her -confess to her later -she doesn't like me that way

-i don't think she's straight????? -time passes -we're both in a religion btw -she asks me one day abt our religion's views on homosexuality -i tell her one of the views, that it's alright -she says ok -she's still questioning btw -i think she might be bi/pan leaning towards guys

-i move to a different country -i leave the religion, not out yet to anyone tho -but we still text -she sends me a post one day abt homosexuality -it's that other view, that homosexuality is wrong -she believes in that view and is trying to persuade me to undo my bisexuality in some way or ignore it -getting strong indoctrination and internalized homophobia vibes here -she thinks i'm still in the religion and is trying to convince me on her views on homosexuality -i try to argue back carefully since i can't let her know i've left -anyway we fight -and apologize a few days later -and she suggests we don't talk abt religious stuff because we always fight abt it

-i say ok -i do flood my insta story (that she sees) with lgbt posts out of passive aggressiveness -i know i know, but i couldnt help it because i have very liberal views and i feel very strongly abt religious homophobia and sexuality -i sort of wanted to punish and test her -'this is me, this sexuality is a part of me, not a test by god, and i'm gonna show it and make it obvious, and you have to choose between remaining with me despite it or not.'

-we don't speak for three months.

-our only interaction is viewing each others' stories -she texts me with something random a few days later -we're talking again -i've forgiven her at this point -after all, before i left, i was just like her, i believed the same things she did -i want to believe that just like me, she'll come around and see things for what they truly are. -idk what to do till then

-i'm still in love with her -i still feel elated whenever she texts -i still feel that spark when i hear her name

-i want to get over her, over it -but still remain her best friend -it's hard because a huge part of getting over someone is to cut them off completely -and for those three months i did not think of her, so it worked a little -but when she texted it all came flooding back.

-i'm so, so, so fucked. what do i do?

Hello dear anon. I am so, so sorry about your situation, and even more sorry I wasn't able to respond until now. I know it's been quite some time, but in the case that you are still struggling with this or that anyone else can benefit from hearing your story and my two cents about it, here's my answer.

It can be really complicated navigating relationships with people who do not share the same values or outlooks as you do, and not everyone has the ability or desire to cut ties with those people. My best friend growing up was one of those people who was very indoctrinated in her religious upbringing and beliefs, which led to the two of us having more frequent arguments as we got older, and eventually ended in a painful split and end in our friendship. I don't regret our separation, looking back I think it was for the best because we just valued, believed, and wanted different things in life. I still wish her the best, but if what allows us both to live our happiest lives is being apart, then so be it.

I understand your pain, and your conflict, however I know that I personally cannot tolerate any kind of...well, intolerance, like that in the people I associate with. I just don't have the energy. Ultimately it's up to you whether you believe your lives will be happier together or apart. That also includes whether you decide to move on from her romantically or not. I can attest that--at least in my own experience--it's not impossible to get over being in love with someone while still interacting with them or being friends with them. That's my track record so far anyway, having two exes that are still friends of mine and even speak to regularly. That isn't to say that it isn't still hard sometimes, or that it doesn't take a certain type of strength or maturity to be able to maintain these relationships and let go of the expectations and hopes you once had for what they could have been, but it is certainly possible and even worthwhile if you can stomach it.

I don't have a straight answer for you, as easy as I wish it could be. I see three main potential roads that you could go down, those being: continuing to wait and see if she'll ever come around to your side of things, letting go of your romantic expectations and moving on while trying to maintain the friendship, or just letting go. I don't know how much things may have changed or not since you sent this ask, but if you're still at a crossroads then there's a chance that you had a gut feeling reading those options. Only you know what you really need, and sometimes you don't know until you get it, or you start walking down that path. All I know is that you have to do what's best for you, as painful or difficult as that may be.

Change is possible in all people, you're living proof of that, but sometimes it takes people lifetimes to open their hearts and minds to learn or unlearn what they need to. Whatever you decide, I hope you are able to prioritize your own happiness in this short life that you have now. You deserve to live proudly as your most authentic self, to love freely surrounded by people who accept you for who and what you are--all of you. Time is precious, your time here is precious, so use it wisely. Use it to do right by yourself, your heart, and your values, to live the life that you truly want.

So, my friend, I leave you with a final question to ponder:

In the long run, what do you truly want?

I hope that this can be of some help or comfort, my DMs are still open if you ever need a friend. <3

All my love and best wishes always,

Your friend,

Sappho 💓

[aulga]

The show is called Detentionaire! It has a surprising amount of diversity for something made in 2011. Although it didn't really age well it's still a good show overall. Also I was totally rooting for Lee and Biffy to get together before I remembered "Oh yeah! 2011." It doesn't have a lot of reviews but the ones that are there are almost all 4-5 stars! Anyway now that I got that out of my system, onto the actual description!

Lee Ping is a newly 10th grade kid (so like 15 I'm guessing) who gets framed for the biggest high school prank ever and gets popular but also gets a year of detention and grounding that he doesn't want. In detention he meets Biffy who helps him break out of detention every day so he can find proof of who actually did it and clear his name. As he pursues (persues?) the truth, he ends up finding more truths than he wanted to about the school, his family, etc but is more than willing to pursue to get to the bottom of it.

Lee is written pretty differently from the regular teen boy protagonists that were written at the time I think. Y'know, obsessed with hot girls, wanting to become popular, perverted, willing to sacrifice his friends and individuality before realizing he made a huge mistake and trying to get them back and that being their character development, etc.

Lee likes one girl in particular, TINA KWEE!!!! MY GIRL!!! She is a reporter for the school news who is also investigating the school and has a rivalry with her flamboyant co-host: Chaz Monteranian(?). She and Lee often work with each other to do just that and really respect each other. The best part is, her character isn't dependent on Lee! She's not constantly just trying to get with Lee but is still allowed to be upset and bitter about other people trying to get with him. She fights back even with Lee! She can get openly mad and communicate with Lee! She can have other romantic and platonic rekationships with the other characters that actually mean something! (I wasn't too crazy about her in the beginning because I thought she was going to be a classic uninteresting love interest but as the series progressed I starting rooting for them too. Even if Biffy and Lee were my otp.

They were queer coded to me with them being catdads, Biffy having a whole thing about them not being seen together for fear of people talking about them, then a kid walking by after that and giggling at them while passing by, Lee going "Guys, I already have a girlfriend" with a flirty tone when three of the 16th (15th?) graders pinned him to a locker and one of them giggling afterward (That dude is an adult so I don't support what he did. I just put the example there because of the implication. Like I said, this show didn't really age well.), and Lee telling Biffy in a kind of loving tone "I love it when you say 'we.'"

ANYWAY BACK TO LEE AS A PROTAGONIST SINCE I GOT SIDETRACKED!!! Lee isn't actually that interested in popular groups like the Glamazons, Jocks, etc. He is interested in making friends though and doesn't discriminate which is why he and his friends are outsiders (probably not coincidently both of his long-time friends were from another country). He's not perverted, like, at all from what I remember. He actually gets annoyed when Biffy purposefully misleads him through the vents into the girl's bathroom and apologizes a lot while running out. He actually has pretty strong values about not being stereotyped and never tries to be someone different unless it's literally a disguise. He doesn't really understand why other people DO care. It's stupid to him. He tends to drop whatever he's doing to help his friends (and they do it back too!) no matter how annoyed or close to the truth he might be. I don't think it's ever a competition which he chooses: solving a mystery or helping/saving his friends.

Each character is smart in their own way and aside from MAYBE Biffy and Lee, no one in the main cast is smarter than the other. Even if it does seem that way, they have enough chemistry with each other to where you don't really notice until they point it out.

Even though the prank is what made Lee popular, as the show goes on people start realizing that "Hey he's actually a genuinely cool person! I trust him!" and I love that! He deserves it!

You could probably start finding clues as soon as episode one while watching it unfold. Other than the main plot point that episode I mean.

Yeah I really love this show! It's on youtube on the Retro Rerun channel. The theme song is cool too, along with it's visuals.

Hi. I see you're a fan of mystery shows with teenage casts and horrific undertones that progressively get worse throughout the series. Can I recommend you a show I found on youtube that REALLY needs more love and, y'know, a fandom?

I'm always ready to hear about cool things

[rottenappleinthebox]

Scooby Do gang Redesign

Since everyone was dropping their own takes on the characters bc of that show-that-shouldn't-be-named, I thought I should try to do my own too!! :D

Some thoughts:

So, I made Fred half Korean and half American, he was born in the US but then his family moved to Korea when he was 8yo, and then after hs, he came back to the US for University (I'm not sure what kind of degree he's doing though). I like to imagine him as a sports nerd, specifically interested in strategy and teamwork (which would ultimately connect with his passion for the traps and plans he'll make trying to catch monsters).

I made Daphne Uruguayan. I wanted a latine in the group lol, but I also wanted to have a Korean x Uruguayan/latine dynamic bc I love how fun it could be a dynamic between such opposite cultures! (there are a lot of videos of cute and funny Korean x latine couples/friends I love watching). So, Daphne grew up poor in Uruguay, then she moved to Argentina for a degree (fun fact: a lot of latines from other countries come to Argentina for free education). After getting a degree in journalism, she was gonna move back with her mom but it turns out her mom had a rich fiancé and they wanted to move to the US together.

In the US, Daphne started taking English classes at a nearby University since she only knew the basics of the language. Fred also was taking English classes bc he hasn't kept in contact with the language and that's how they meet, though they have a rocky start bc of the cultural shocks they have interacting with each other.

Velma is african-american and she lives with her single dad. Both of them are mystery lovers, her dad would read her Sherlock Holmes, Arséne Lupin, and others as bedtime stories. Her dad owns a small library and she works there on her summer breaks. She goes to University for a forensic degree.

Velma keeps casually meeting Fred in the mystery section of the Uni's library until they actually strike up a conversation. They become mystery buddies, and eventually, they also start having study sessions together too.

Velma meets Daphne once at the cafeteria and Daphne immediately goes "this is my friend now". They hang out a lot in their free time.

Shaggy is American, he's white but his skin is tanned. He lives with his grandparents and his dog Scooby-Doo, he has a part-time job at a cafe near the Uni where he's also studying forensics. Velma and he had been friends since middle school. He wasn't sure what to study but he decided to follow whatever it is that Velma went for. Velma is one of his closest friends and he thought it would be great to start Uni not being all alone.

He met Fred during his study sessions with Velma, and the three of them bonded over their shared love for mystery fiction, which leads them to make an unofficial book club.

He met Daphne during his job at the cafe, and he was taken aback by how overly friendly she was, even when she was just going off her broken English but they become casual friends. Then Velma and he make the connection and they started inviting Daphne to hang out with them.

Eventually, they also start inviting Fred. Daphne and Fred are a little awkward around each other but they eventually become friends too (their relationship is very slow burn lol).

I'm not sure how they'll become a real mystery-solving gang alongside Scooby doo so I'll just leave it there :)

[localcactushugger]

Is anyone else amazed that Hawks was only "undercover" with the Leauge for 6 months at the most.

Not only that, one and a half of those 6 months were spent just trying to gain enough trust to infiltrate.

I know it seems like much longer since Hawks made his Manga debut 2 years ago. But he had such a short amount of time on this mission. Hawks was introduced in the manga with his role being the "double agent". We literally have not seen Hawks outside of his "spy" role. Even when he is interacting with other characters outside of the Leauge, his "mission" is still happening in the background.

It seems Hawks made contact with Dabi right before the Hero Billboard chart, this is when he starts trying to infiltrate. His interaction with Dabi in the warehouse begins immediately after Endeavors fight with High-End:

During this time, Dabi is testing out a High-End Nomu for doctor Ujiko. Which means by the time Endeavor fights High-End, the My Villain Academia arc is already happening. Hawks is assumed to be one of the "members" Dabi is trying to recruit:

The Leauge has already made contact with doctor Ujiko, and the Doctor sends Dabi to test his High-End Nomu out on Endeavor (even though Dabi didn't know it would be Endeavor) while the rest of the Leauge battle Machia. At the time, Dabi still doesn't trust Hawks at all and he keeps the hero at arms length. While Dabi and Hawks are sharing ominous phone calls, the Leauge is hauling ass and it take's Shigiraki a month and a half to finally beat Machia. (The MLA is "defeated" too):

After a month and a half of phone calls (while the Leauge gets their asses handed to them by Machia in the background) Hawks is finally allowed into the Leauge when the battle of Dekia City is finally over. Dabi let's him in because Hawks "kills" Best Jeanist.

But there's a problem. By the time Hawks is let in, The Leagues numbers have drastically increased. They have an army at their side, multiple High-End nomu, and are now called the MLA:

Hawks blames himself, saying that he was "too late". That so many civilians would be alive now if he had been faster. He couldn't round up the Leauge when they were a small group, and now they have an army. A powerful one:

He's in too deep now. And you can see the stress on his face. I bet he never expected to be part of an army. He was simply tasked to round up the Leauge members while they were a small group, but the MLA was completely unexpected. Still, he decides to improvise and do the best he can with the shitty cards he's been dealt. It's not like he has another option at this point.

So he slips a coded message to Endeavor ASAP. Basically saying "yo, in four months shits about to go down. Ttyl I'll keep you posted lol". He can't tell the guy in person now, because to make things harder, he has camera's on his wings. (and even though he's being watched by camera's, he also gets followed by guards at the mansion):

After Hawks relays the massge, he stroles around the mansion with his bodyguard and heads towards the cafeteria. With a little eavesdropping (courtesy of his feathers) he also finds out that the Leauges plan is to "Destroy Everything" in four months:

After he relays the massage to Endeavor, he listens to the Leauges plans of destruction as his thoughts run a thousand M.P.H.

Because now "capture the Leauge" has turned into "Holy shit I now only have 4 months to take down a full fledged terrorist organization/army from the inside-out by myself while I'm being monitored 24/7 with absolutely no privacy & also a full time job as a hero + a public image to maintain. And I can only contact my fellow pro's about this mission through code because if the villains find out I'm a double agent I could be killed and Japan could be destroyed. Also some heros have even joined the MLA so who on my own side can I trust? Only a select specific few for now I guess."

If you thought things couldn't get worse your wrong.

Because around 2 months before the raid Hawks' heart (that wants to be free & has a genuine desire to help people) takes shit a bit too far when it makes him get attached to a certain powerful villain.

Hawks quckily finds out that Twice is easily the second most powerful villain in the Leauge after Shigiraki. He's an S ranked villain and he'll kick your ass with the power of friendship anyday. He's a great guy, but him and the Leauge are still planning on doing horrible things within the next 2 months. Twice is going along with it because he wants to stick by his friends, which y'know, is a cool motive. But considering that fact that the people Hawks is trying to protect ALSO have friends, and family's, this makes shit difficult and sends Hawks on some major guilt trips. (I would show all the panels of Hawks sadly smiling as Twice calls him a "good guy", but alas- Tumblr has informed me that I've reached my 10 image per post limit)

And tbh who wouldn't feel bad about suddenly getting attached to such a golden retriever of a man and then realizing you'll have to double-cross him at some point! I'm not surprised Hawks would feel this way, especially considering the fact that he never wanted to take on this mission in the first place.

Hawks is very much a people person, and he HATES lying even when he has no other option. This is a man who got "shivers up his spine" when he had to put on a serious face while handing Endeavor a book with coded messages inside. He literally felt icky and thought "this is low even for me" just because he had to use a deadly expression so that Endeavor would get the gist.

And when the Commission made their "proposal" about this mission, Hawks' first reaction was to call them out on their B.S. for asking him to put civilian lives at risk. He even admitted that he was feeling bad about sending Tokoyami away while talking to Deku, Shoto, and Bakugo. Hawks felt guilty about not being able to spend more time with his student, but considering that things with the MLA were starting to get riskier, and that Hawks literally handed Endeavor a book with a coded message inside about an uprising 2 seconds later, I can see why he wouldn't want to risk Tokoyami being around him. The fact that the camera's on Hawks' wings caught his interactions with Endeavor & the students also makes the creep‐factor worse. The MLA saw everything AND talked about it in a meeting later. Continuing to train with Tokoyami would put him at risk.

I love the complexity of Hawks' character, he's incredibly intelligent, logical, and intuitive. But at the same time throughout this entire mission his heart is constantly battling with his mind. Even when he knows he has to grit his teeth and do something shifty, his heart never fails to put up a fight with his logistics. Honestly it's been a pattern for a while that Hawks' sympathy always "Trips him up" in some way, so idk why I didn't see it coming around to bite him in the ass later.

(Tbh it's hard for me to see Hawks as a this super "Morally Gray" person that the fandom likes to paint him as because of a mission that he only spent 6 months on. I personally, kinda see Hawks as a "good person" who works for a "morally gray" agency. But that's a whole different meta)

Basically, Hawks getting attached to Twice wasn't a surprise. But considering how powerful Twice was, along with his role in the League's destructive plans (He was a lieutenant in one of the MLA's "Units") the discourse going on in Hawks' mind makes sense. By this point Hawks has already figured out all of the MLA's "Units" along with the three "bosses" that support the lieutenants of those "Units". It's noted that those "bosses" are extremely powerful and can match the strength of the heros as well. It took Hawks an entire month just to figure out all of the "Units" members. (I would show the panels explaining all of this but I'm at my photo limit)

All of these members were tasked to follow their lieutenants and bosses, and the plan was to attack all of Japans major cities at the same time. Once the cities were destroyed and chaos had set in, Redestro and feel good inc. Would distribute support items to the remaining citizens in the name of "self-defense". It would create a country full of discourse and destruction where Redestro and Feel good inc. Would rule from the shadows. But Shigiraki would be the main leader. He would become "king" and sit upon a "throne of rubble". (At least this was the MLA's plan, Shigiraki himself just kinda wants to destroy everything. But I suppose this would make things easier for him to do that.)

needless to say, the stakes have been upped excessively. But it took Hawks an entire month to gather this info.

This post is honestly just me marveling at what an M.V.P Hawks is

My guy literally only had 4 months to take down an entire terrorist organization for the inside-out. AND he was being monitored during that entire time. He figured out the MLA's intentions within the first month of being there. And it took him another full month to go into detail and figure out all the members, bosses, and lieutenants, for each of their "Units". Hawks even went as far as to immerse himself in the MLA's ideology, and he had in-depth discussions with the MLA's members. HELL HE EVEN FAKED HIS CO-WORKERS DEATH JUST TO GET IN.

AND HE PRETTY MUCH IMPROVISED ALL OF THIS SHIT!!! The original plan was to capture the Leauge when they were a small group! But by the time Hawks managed to infiltrate, The Leauge already had an army! They were a full-blown organization! And Hawks just kinda rolled with it??? He just kinda bullshitted his way through??

Like, "okay I'm now apart of an army I guess. The Leauge is now an entire organization and they're planning on destroying Japan in March. Let's see how this goes. I'll just have to make this work"???

LIKE HOW THE FUCK IS HE NOT DEAD! WHAT A FUCKING MADLAD

[pedropascalunofficial]

Pedro Pascal's father says: "Everything that happens to him he deserves it enormously"

Lun.com, January 7 2021

IMDb site established the Chilean actor from "The Mandalorian" as "the most popular star in the world"

The doctor José Balmaceda remembers the difficult beginnings of his son and the current situation that he faces today. “Everybody told him they liked the way he acted but that he was too dark or too blonde for the parts," he says.

At the beginning of the year, the Internet Movie Database (IMDb), a massive international film and TV portal, raised a Chilean to entertainment heaven. It was the actor Pedro Pascal (45), who was crowned by the media as "the most popular star in the world’, according to searches by users of the site itself (which exceed 100 million visits each month). His was explained basically by the resonance of his latest projects that had him starring, for example, in the series "The Mandalorian’ (where he plays the mandalorian, Disney+), the movie "Wonder Woman 1984" (where he plays a villain) and the tape "We Can Be Heroes" (Netflix, in which he plays a superhero). Such a trio of productions — rang, according to the portal, the best professional moment for the actor

"Everything that is happening to him he deserves enormously", José Balmaceda (72) reacts to the information, an expert fertility doctor, proud father of Pascal. “I remember his tough stages, coming out of college, when he started auditioning to have problems. That had many ups and downs, it was almost a lot. Everyone told him that they liked the way he acted, but that he was too dark or too blonde for the parts. That stage lasted like 10 or 12 years. That is why | think he deserves this success very much, he was very persistent to work on what he likes. He stood firm until he was given his chance and showed his worth as an actor, "he adds.

-How do you perceive that your child is facing so much exposure and success?

-| think he is behaving like a super mature person, he continues to keep his feet on the ground, he is a good friend of his friends, very familiar. | have not seen any gesture that tells me that Pedro is behaving in a different way. The way of life he has is the same, in fact, he has not bought any ostentatious or gigantic house. He continues to live in the same house. He lives in Los Angeles Venice Beach (California), which is a simple neighborhood, without fuss, and | think it will stay that way. | think his family history and upbringing have made him act consistent with that.

Born in Santiago on April 2, 1975, Pedro left Chile at nine months to settle with his parents first in Denmark and then in the United States, where he studied and became an actor. And although he had dozens of appearances in TV series such as "The Good Wife’ (2009-2011), only after his role as Oberyn Martell in "Game of Thrones" (2013), did his name reach remembrance on a planetary level.

Don José takes up the word: “When Disney Plus arrived in Chile (November 17, 2020) I took the opportunity to see The Mandalorian right away. It took me two days to do it. Pedro likes Star Wars and that show is for young people. | see it as a western for young audiences, and in that case Pedro would be Clint Eastwood. He is very good in his role, but if | had to choose | would stick with his performance in Game of Thrones, it was magnificent. "

-With so many projects and things your child has to do, how do you communicate?

-We have a family WhatsApp group called "Abuelo Pepe", where Pedro and the rest of the family communicate. There we discussed things, we send each other photos, we talk from grandchildren to politics.

-And calls?

-Of course. When he was in Croatia and in Budapest filming a movie with Nicolas Cage ("The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent"), we talked many times, because he was locked up for a long time and alone because of the pandemic. Besides, I'm an intruder and | love knowing what he's doing. | ask you to show me the sets a bit, etc ... | am very cinephile and very Tevito, to the point where it has caused me problems with my _ partner, hahaha.

-| imagine that being a movie fan it must be powerful to see your son as a movie star.

-It is a very great honor, although one begins to get used to it. In any case, it is always exciting to see him on the screen, to be able to recognize his performance between his gestures. | find it interesting to watch.

-When does he come to Chile?

-Pedro usually comes to Chile a couple of times during the year, generally the longest is during Christmas. At that time we usually take a family trip, in the last five years we have done it like that. But this year we did not do it because of the pandemic ... | do not know when he can come, but I am going to take care of making him come in February (2021), although I do not think he will be successful.

On January 3, the Twitter user @illicitaffers published a video dedicated entirely to Pedro Pascal, which until the closing of this edition had more than 255 thousand views. In it, reference was made to the actor's relationship with Chile, through interviews, television appearances and some jokes, where the actor is ripped off Chileanisms (the account has since been deactivated). "| saw the video, as always | was a little late and it's funny, without a doubt he has a very close relationship with Chile,’ says Don José Balmaceda, Pedro's father.

According to him, this closeness is due to the trips that the actor took as a boy to the country. He continues: “While the children were in basic education (in the US) we always sent them, every summer, up to here... We had a relationship with Chile," says Don José Balmaceda, Pedro's father.

According to him, this closeness is due to the trips that the actor took as a boy to the country. He continues: “While the children were in basic education (in the US) we always sent them, every summer, up to here... We had a friend pilot who helped us, and they spent two or three months with the Balmaceda family or Pascal". "Besides that (his love for Chile) is a translation of the affection that we had for the country, continues the father, who declares himself somewhat responsible for some very Chilean expressions that the artist uses. "That is the influence of the father, who is quite a scribbler,’ he ends.

[cocobeanncteez]

ATEEZ San- Confessions (oneshot)

Genre: Angst, fluff, suggestive, high school au, enemies to lovers au.

Pairing: San x Reader (fem)

Warnings: profanities, alcohol.

On a scale of one to ten, you'd rate your life at your prestigious boarding school a nine.

You loved KQ Academy: a boarding school for the rich, spoiled brats of the country. The teachers were highly experienced and the other staff were really nice. The cafeteria food was great and the vending machines always had your favorite drinks. The bathrooms were clean and the classrooms, laboratories, and other activity rooms were large and spacious. There were three different sports fields, a large swimming pool, and a large athletics field. The dormitories were also really comfortable and overall impressive. Basically, your school was lit.

So why did you rate your great life here a nine? Two words: Choi San.

San was the only person here who got on your nerves. Not only was he a rich, spoiled brat, but he was also the most popular guy at school and the captain of the volleyball team. His pretty face screamed of nothing but trouble... for you.

You don't understand why San doesn't like you; ever since he joined your school in ninth grade, you both never got along despite being in the same friend group. Your friends tried their best to make you both decently talk to each other, but they gave up eventually when it clearly wasn't working; you both always argued about the smallest, stupidest things.

"Should I get another piercing?" Hongjoong asked, opening his strawberry yogurt.

"Where?" Yunho questioned. "Please, not on your ear! Let the poor thing breathe!" You chuckled, glancing at the many piercings on your twin brother's ears.

"I swear Hongjoong hyung is a masochist," Yeosang stated, making Mingi and Wooyoung burst out laughing.

"And he likes exhibitionism," Seonghwa said. Hongjoong rolled his eyes, quietly eating his yogurt; he was used to everyone teasing him.

"Hey guys!" you heard Choi San greet before he took his usual seat beside Wooyoung. You glanced at him, immediately noticing his disheveled hair and swollen lips.

"Oh god, San, who was it now?" Eunhee, Hongjoong's girlfriend, questioned.

"Na Yuri," San said with a smirk. "She took me behind the auditorium. There were no cameras there." You heard Jiwoo mumble a 'not surprise' from beside you, making you chuckle.

"And you managed to get off in less than five minutes?" Wooyoung asked, raising an eyebrow.

San fake gasped in shock. "What! Wooyoung, you know I don't fuck these girls. I've only made out with them."

"What, really?" Jongho asked in surprise.

"Yeah, I haven't slept with anyone other than my ex, Jina," San said, taking a bite of Yeosang's ice cream sandwich, earning a glare from the boy. You were quite surprised at this new information; the entire school thought San fucked a new chick every week. You wondered why he never said anything about it despite all the false claims.

"Y/N," you heard someone call you, catching all your friends' attention. You saw Kim Yonghee approach you with the sweetest smile on his face. He handed you your notebook that you had given him two days ago. "Thank you so much. Your notes really helped."

"You aced your test?"

He smirked. "Of course." He opened his mouth to say something, but one of his friends called him for football practice. "Well, I'll see you in math," he said with a wink before walking away.

"Oh, someone's blushing!" Eunhee teased.

Yunho chuckled. "Wow, Y/N, I wonder what's got you all pink."

"Yonghee is so fucking cute! I kinda want to date him," you squealed, earning a scoff from an unamused San. Yeosang raised an eyebrow at San who only shrugged. "Do you have an issue, San?" you asked, annoyed by his reaction.

"No, why would I?"

"Well, your reaction doesn't seem like it."

"Why would I care about you and that piece of shit?" he spat, looking away.

"You don't even know him!" your voice was raising.

"Here we go again," Yeosang muttered under his breath.

San glared at you. "As if you know about the way he screws around with—"

"So what? I'd rather be with someone like him than with someone like you," you stated in a cold tone. San's face fell, but he immediately put his pokerface on.

Seonghwa sighed. "Can you two stop fighting for once?"

"It's his fault," you said, crossing your arms over your chest.

"No, it's yours," San retorted. "You could've ignored me."

You were about to say something, but the bell rang. You glared at San before dragging Wooyoung and Mingi with you to your next class.

A month later, you ended up in an FWB relationship with Kim Yonghee. So far, things were going really well.

You were at Seonghwa and Hongjoong's dorm with everyone. You noticed how San has been really quiet and sulky these past few days. Despite always arguing with him, you felt worried for him. You wanted to ask him if he was all right, but you knew he'd just roll his eyes or make a sarcastic comment.

You nudged Yunho who was sitting beside you. "Is San all right?" you whispered in his ear.

Yunho shook his head. "No, he's not okay. I don't know what happened, and he said he doesn't want to talk about it." You nodded, but you felt like Yunho was lying to you.

"Y/N, how are things going on between you and Yonghee?" Mingi asked.

"Good," you answered with a smile. "He's an absolute gentleman."

"Yeah, I could tell from last night," Eunhee teased, making you choke on nothing in particular, wondering how she found out about you sneaking Yonghee into your suite style dorm. "You're not as sneaky as you think you are, Y/N."

San slammed his can of sprite on the table, startling a few of you. "Sorry, I'm a little tired," he mumbled. "Yunho, I'm going to our room. I'll see you all tomorrow." You noticed Wooyoung and Seonghwa share a glance before Seonghwa nodded.

"I'm heading back as well. Good night guys," Seonghwa said, quickly getting up and following San. There was clearly something up with San and you really wanted to find out.

-

While you were having lunch with your friends, Yonghee came to your table. He kissed you gently, earning an 'aww' from Eunhee and Jiwoo.

"Hey, hey, hey, no kissing in front of her older brother," Hongjoong said sternly. You rolled your eyes; he was only older by eight minutes.

"Sorry, man," Yonghee chuckled. "Here," he handed you a few sheets. "Seunghun told me to give this to you. It's his part of the assignment you both are working on. He said you can arrange it however you'd like."

"Ah, tell him I said thanks," you said.

"Will do, doll." he kissed your head before leaving.

San witnessed the entire scene and he lost his appetite. He pushed his food around with his spoon, feeling heartbroken.

"Step up your game, bro," Mingi said to San in a low tone so that the others couldn't hear.

"What do you mean?" San questioned.

Mingi rolled his eyes. "We all know you like Y/N. Don't give her up easily."

"Well, she likes Yonghee."

"They're only friends with benefits," Hongjoong said, joining the conversation. "They're just fooling around. I know it might seem like she has feelings for him, but trust me, she doesn't."

San bit his lip anxiously. "But she hates me."

Hongjoong rolled his eyes. "I know my sister well enough to say that she doesn't hate you, Sannie. In fact, she was really hurt 'cause she thinks you hate her. You both should really stop fighting and assuming shit."

"She doesn't hate me?" San asked in surprise.

"No, she doesn't, you idiot," Mingi muttered with a sigh. "Now step up your game, San, before someone else sweeps her off her feet."

You were watching the volleyball team practice for an upcoming inter-school match. San and Yeosang were on the team, so your entire group was here as well, watching them practice 'cause there was nothing else to do.

You had to admit, San was a great captain. He was so sweet to them and hyped them up every time they did well. It was even more fascinating to watch him play. When the team decided to take a break, he approached you, taking his water bottle from where you were sitting.

You couldn't help but check him out in the team uniform. The blue tank top and shorts exposed the muscles on his arms and thighs. He titled his head back, pouring the water into his mouth. You watched his Adam's apple bob with every gulp, and the way a few drops of water rolled down his lips and chin. His jawline looked sharper, and you saw a bead of sweat travelling down the side of his face. San looked undeniably attractive, especially with his new eyebrow piercing and dyed black hair; he already looked so good with his previous brown hair, and now he looked irresistible.

"Y/N, I asked you something," San said, snapping you out of your thoughts.

"Oh, uh, I'm sorry, what were you saying?" you hoped he didn't notice you checking him out. San and you have surprisingly not had any fights recently, and he wasn't making any comments to piss you off either. You wondered why he suddenly changed his behavior towards you after years of getting on your nerves.

He smirked, pointing to his little red bag. "Could you open my bag and give me the green towel?" You did as he said, unkowingly blushing. San noticed everything, but he didn't say anything about it yet. He wiped the sweat off his face with the towel, suddenly leaning in close to your face. Your eyes darted between his eyes and his lips, and your heartbeat sped up. San reached behind you to take his bag, shoving the towel and his water bottle inside. You let out a breath you didn't know you were holding, mentally reminding yourself to get your shit together. You glanced at your friends, relieved that they were too busy talking to notice the little scene between you and San; you knew they would tease the shit out of you if they saw what happened.

"Y/N," Yeosang called out. "You're coming for the party tomorrow night, no?"

"Of course," you said, a little confused as to why he suddenly asked. "Jiwoo would kill me if I missed it."

Jiwoo turned her head at the mention of her name. "Damn right, I would," she said with a nod.

Yeosang smirked. "You're coming in my car."

-

"I have to sit on San's lap?!" you half-yelled at Yeosang.

"Yeah, Yunho is sitting in the front with the Pegasus glass figurine he got for Jiwoo. The painting I got is in the backseat, and our bags are in the trunk. So you don't have a choice."

You bit your lip. "Fine."

You waited outside the car until San and Yunho came from their dorm. You wondered why San wasn't surprised when you told him you had to sit on his lap, but you brushed it off, assuming Yeosang would've told him earlier.

San was dressed in all black: ripped jeans, a leather jacket and a black t-shirt underneath it. You sat on his lap, closing the car door. He looked irresistible and his Chanel perfume made him smell so good, you didn't know how you'd survive the half an hour long car ride to Jiwoo's mansion without him noticing you inhaling his scent like air.

San gently wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you closer to him so that you could sit comfortably. Yeosang started driving and you hoped time would go really fast.

Unfortunately, time seemed to be going really slow for you.

San pushed your hair to one side, making you lean back a little so that your back was pressed against his chest. "Sit comfortably, I don't bite," he whispered in your ear.

Yunho was talking about something, but you paid no attention. The only thing you could focus on was San's beautiful voice and laughs while you blankly stared out the window.

San noticed you weren't paying attention. He leaned forward a little, his lips coming in contact with the bare skin of your shoulder, making goosebumps arise on your skin. "Are you cold?" San teased when he saw the goosebumps on your bare thighs; you cursed yourself for wearing a short off-shoulder dress.

"Yeah, I am," you lied. San rubbed his palms together before placing them on your thighs. You gasped softly at his warm touch. He gently rubbed your thighs, trying to warm you up like as if he didn't know why you got goosebumps in the first place.

"We're here, guys," Yeosang announced, pulling up into Jiwoo's mansion that was lit up with a lot of LED lights.

You quickly got out of the car once Yeosang parked, running to hug Jiwoo.

"Happy eighteenth, Jiwoo!"

She chuckled. "Thank you, Y/N!"

"I can't wait to see you drunk!" you said with a giggle, excited that your friend could finally drink. She playfully rolled her eyes, dragging you inside to where half your school was while she told you which room you would be staying in. You were sure there were nearly two hundred people here, but you weren't surprised; Jiwoo's birthday parties were always like this.

"By the way, you're sharing a room with San tonight," Jiwoo said.

Your eyes widened. "What?! Why? Wasn't I supposed to be sleeping in your room?"

"Yeah," she said. "But, um... Yunho might be there and I don't think you'd want to witness us—"

"Okay, okay!" you half-yelled. "Why can't I sleep in Eunhee's room?"

"Ask Hongjoong if he's willing to switch with you," she chuckled and you groaned, knowing very well your twin brother would rather sleep next to his girlfriend than next to his friend.

But maybe he would agree? After all, he's quite protective of you and he wouldn't let you sleep next to a guy.

"Absolutely not," Hongjoong replied when you asked him to switch places with you.

"Joong! How can you let your baby sister sleep with a guy?" you whined.

He shrugged. "I trust San more than any other guy here. Besides, I need some privacy with my girl, you know? The dorms aren't a very great place to—"

You slammed your palm over his mouth, shutting him up. "I get it! I'll just deal with it."

You walked over to the bar, getting a whiskey and coke. You didn't have an issue with sleeping next to San; you just didn't know how you'd control yourself around him, especially after what happened hardly an hour ago.

After Jiwoo cut her huge birthday cake and popped a bottle of Champagne, some people from your grade sat down in one of the rooms to play truth or dare. Wooyoung and Mingi literally begged you to play and of course, you couldn't refuse.

"All right, I'm gonna spin it," Jongho said, spinning an empty beer bottle. It landed on Yeosang. "Truth or dare, hyung?" Jongho asked.

"Truth," he answered.

"I got one!" Seonghwa said, turning to smirk at Yeosang. "Do you like a certain Japanese girl who's in your economics class?" You chuckled, glancing at the Japanese girl who was sitting right across Yeosang.

Yeosang smirked. "Of course I like my girlfriend." Your jaw dropped and so did many other's. You glanced at Mayumi who was clearly blushing; she reminded you so much of Yeosang.

"Kang Yeosang! You sly shit!" Wooyoung yelled, playfully tackling his friend to the ground.

"I knew something was happening between them!" Hongjoong stated with a laugh, making Mayumi turn pinker than she already was.

After a few more rounds, some people left, making the circle of people smaller. Eunhee spun the bottle and it landed on herself.

"Truth or dare?" Mingi asked.

"Truth."

"Is Hongjoong hyung a dom or a sub?" Mingi asked with a smirk.

"Both, but mostly a dom," she answered, unbothered.

"I'm not even surprised," Wooyoung said before spinning the bottle. It landed on you.

"Truth or dare, Y/N?" Wooyoung asked, a smile dancing on his lips.

"I'll go with dare."

Wooyoung grinned mischievously. "I dare you to . . . give San a hickey." You choked on nothing in particular.

"In front of you all?"

"Obviously not!" Hongjoong said in disgust. "I'd rather not witness that."

Your friends cheered for you when you got up and dragged San along with you to the room you both had to share tonight. Your heart raced with every step you took, and when he closed the door, the only sound you could hear was your pounding heartbeat.

San removed his shoes before sitting on the middle of the bed. You took off your heels, getting on the bed as well.

"Where do you want it?" you asked, avoiding eye-contact.

"Below my collarbone or here," he pointed to an area of the left side of his neck. You decided to give it on his neck because you've never given a collarbone hickey, so you didn't want to screw it up and embarrass yourself in front of the man who was currently driving you crazy.

San sat against the headboard of the bed, letting you straddle his lap. You placed a hand at his nape and the other at his shoulder, leaning in to place your lips on his neck. You gently brushed your lips against his skin before kissing around the area for a while. Your hand at his nape moved into his hair, tugging on it. San groaned softly, hands gripping your waist while he tilted his head to give you more access. You started to suck on his skin, making sure you bit him gently and gave him a few little licks. San's hands pushed you down on his growing bulge, making you moan against his skin. You pulled away from his neck, eyes instantly locking with his. You glanced between his eyes and his lips, unknowingly biting your own. San freed your bottom lip with his thumb, running it over your lip.

"I'd like to bite that lip," San said in a low tone. You couldn't control yourself anymore. You crashed your lips onto his and he responded just as eagerly as you. San took your bottom lip in between his teeth, gently pulling and biting on it, making you moan. He smirked, pulling away. "You have no idea how long I've waited for this."

"Don't you hate me?" you asked, shocked by his little confession.

San flipped you onto your back, hovering over you. He pressed his bulge against you. "What do you think?" he whispered, making you blush. "Y/N, you drive me absolutely crazy. I've liked you ever since ninth grade." Your eyes widened; he has liked you ever since he joined your school?!

"But— Then why were you always fighting with me?" you couldn't help but ask, even though right now wasn't a very... appropriate time.

"Remember how I was back then? I was so nerdy and you liked guys who were the complete opposite of that," he said, cupping your cheek. "No matter how hard I tried to get you to like someone like me, it just never worked. You always liked seniors and dated playboys. And then when I started screwing around, you still didn't like me. I guess... I guess that's why I fought with you a lot and it got worse over the years."

"San, you were perfect," you murmured. "I always thought you were way too good for me, that's why I never really bothered." you ran your hand through his hair. "I'm sorry for making you change yourself..."

San shook his head, lying beside you on the bed. "It's not your fault. I was fifteen and stupid, Y/N. Besides, I'm used to being like this now." You bit your lip, not knowing what to say. "Y/N, I hated seeing you with Yonghee. I know you guys aren't dating, but the thought of you with him or with anyone else... I really hate it," he looked like he wanted to say something, but he was hesitating a lot. You cupped his cheek, giving him an encouraging smile.

San took a deep breath. "Um, Y/N, do you... feel the same way about me?" You immediately kissed him as an answer, making him blush and sigh in relief.

"Well, my dare is complete," you murmured, fingers running over the hickey you had given him. You leaned in, placing a soft kiss on it. "How about we continue from where we left off?" you whispered in his ear.

San smirked, pulling you close to his body by your waist. "Mhmm, I'd like that."

[dragon-kazansky]

Til death do us part | Helmut Zemo

Bodyguard AU! 🕶

Gender neutral reader

Collage by @realremyd

[Next chapter]

Part 1

You drive into the parking lot for Stark Industries. You had worked here for the last three years. Hiring out bodyguards was just a small service he provided among other things these says, but you guys had a whole floor to yourselves, so you weren't about to complain.

You parked, got out, and needed straight indoors. You greeted the receptionists at the front desk and made your way up to the elevator.

Over the past few years you had been working as a bodyguard. You had done many little jobs, providing security for celebrities at award shows, or being hired out to watch over parties and events here and there.

The pay was good and you loved your job. Granted, not every job is exciting and action filled, but you have met lots of wonderful, crazy, and questionable people over the years. You have kicked people out of parties, prevented crazy fans from getting too close, and one time had secure a lockdown for a client whose life was considered in danger one time.

You had plenty of stories to tell.

Today you were on your way in to receive your next assignment. Apparently this was a big job and Stark had put your name on the list. He needed the best he had, and you were one of them.

No doubt he had put Natasha down too.

You took the elevator up your floor and walked out. You headed into the changing rooms to put your suit on. It was important you looked smart for the job.

Once you were ready, you met up with the others in the meeting room at the time they asked you to be there.

Steve Rogers was the first one to greet you.

Steve was the head of the group. He, and his buddy James Barnes, were professionals at this job. They had been bodyguards much longer than you had and had secured the rest of the team over the years. It was Steve who trained you in the beginning.

"Glad you could make it," he says, smiling at you.

"I was told it was important."

"You're right about that. This is probably the biggest job yet, and could be quite time consuming too."

"Well, I'm ready to hear it out."

You take a seat. Bucky joins you. Steve slides a file across to you and you open it. You are presented with a photo and a document.

"This is Baron Helmut Zemo. Sokovian royalty. We've been requested to send bodyguards over while he travels through Europe to better his connections or something. We're not privy to all the details. Sam and Nat are already out there, flew put three days ago. You'll be flown over with Bucky and I'll join you in a couple of days. This is going to be a time consuming job, so keep your wits about you."

"Alright. I'm ready whenever," you say, looking at the photo.

He was handsome, that much you could tell. Brown hair, combed away from his face. Dark brown eyes and a confident aura surrounding him.

"A Baron, you said?"

"Yeah. You'll be situated as Castle Zemo. They'll provide rooms. You'll receive your schedule from Natasha when you arrive."

"Alright."

"You can keep hold of the file," he nods at it. You close it and pull it closer to you.

"When do we fly?"

"First thing in the morning," Bucky replies.

"See you tomorrow."

Steve dismisses you and Bucky. You both leave together. You tuck the file under your arm and walk in sync with your dear friend.

"Royalty. That's a new one."

Bucky chuckles.

"It's definitely going to be a job for the books."

"What's he like, this Baron?" You ask, glancing up at him.

"I don't know much. We're not suppose to."

"Yeah, I know. Aren't you a little curious though?"

"Yeah, I am," Bucky laughs, "but I'm a professional, and I'll keep it that way."

"You say that now."

You both knew you would both look him up because you always did. You both just liked to know a little about the person you were hired to protect. You never let anything you knew get out though. You were both professionals.

"I'll see you later, go eat and I'll be round in the morning."

"See you, Bucky."

You part ways and you go home, picking up some food on the way. When you get home you pull out your laptop and sit down in your living room. You lay out the file beside you and look him up.

Baron Helmut Zemo.

His picture popped up again. Yeah, he was definitely handsome. He lived in Castle Zemo in Novi Grad, Sokovia. That's where you would be stationed tomorrow before he flies out.

There wasn't a whole lot of information online. Just a little backstory on his family line and where Castle Zemo was located. Being a Baron, he was only a low form of royalty. Most of the news was about the decline of Sokovia. The country was struggling, hence why Baron Zemo was making a trip to strengthen connections here and there.

You felt like you understood him a little better, not that you were going to let this affect your job.

You close the laptop and finish your meal.

You wake up to constant buzzing on your phone. You reach out and grab it, answering the call and bringing it your ear.

"Hello?"

"Finally, I'll be there in ten," you hear Bucky say.

"Ten?"

"Ten minutes, get up!"

You sit up and check the time on your phone, its5later than you anticipated. You give a hurried 'see you later' down the phone and hang up, scrambling to get dressed and make some coffee to start your day.

By the time Bucky arrived at your door, you're ready and have a coffee in hand. Even have an extra for him.

Bucky actually looks impressed.

"Let's go."

You both hop into the car and he drives you to the airport, sipping your coffees as you went.

"We'll be spending the night in his home tonight, neither of us are on night duty, we'll be swapping out with Nat and Sam when we get there. We fly out for Paris tomorrow."

You listened to Bucky explain.

"What will happen in Paris?"

"The Baron will be escorted to the hotel, all guards will be present on that floor. Steve will meet us there with the last of the group and the Baron will be taken to his meeting spot."

"Just follow the routine, got it."

"You nervous? This is a big job after all," Bucky glances your way.

"A bit, but I'm going to prove to you all that I have what it takes. Nat trained me herself."

"Hey, we know you're capable. For what it's worth, none of us have ever done a job this big before. It's a first for us all," he smiles at you.

"Then we can do this together."

You both nod at each other.

You settle in for the rest of the ride. At the airport, you both quickly manoeuvre through the building. Bucky has the passports and boarding passes on him. You're both at the gate in time and board the plane with ease.

This was your first time to Sokovia. Your first time in the presence of royalty.

You were beyond nervous.

Bucky places a hand over yours and smiles at you. You smile back. It's all the reassurance you needed.

The plane takes off without delay.

This was going to be the biggest job of your life, and perhaps, just perhaps, your life would change too. You just didn't know what to expect when you got there.

@thesuitkovian @justfangirlthingies @belle82devart @zemosimp420 @anteroom-of-death @silverlambcaptain @that-stupid-head-tilt-thing @lieutenantn @daniielbruhl @awesomesauce-abbie @latenightartist-author @lazygurl05 @rumblelibrary @nonamec0s @shura-gorl @ginger-abreu @caligrl1992 @livvyshmiv @luciadiosa @vverliebt @tatooineisdry @charistory @somethingthatsaysbubbles

[zephycluster]

Precolonial HWS SEA Rant Post, feel free to ignore

If you're still reading, then you're probably looking for evidence or some juicy tidbits to throw back at me or to try and find dirt to cancel me, like typical Tumblr/Twitter. Go ahead, I don't really care.

First off, let me just say that If you like Precolonial South-East Asia AUs, feel free to keep enjoying them. I will respectfully support your passions from afar. This post is just to explain why I don't like it, especially the way they keep insisting/portraying PH in it.

Still here? Then let me begin.

Since the recent confirmation that the ASEAN Six Majors (Can't really say ASEAN 10 atm since it's still missing some people) Were completed and the Ma-Phil-Indo Trio was included, there has been a large surge in 'Precolonial' fanarts and portrayals of South East Asians, those three especially.

Even long, long before, circa 2010's ish, a rather well-known fan universe known as 'Maaf' dealt with their story and how their Author thought their intertwined histories went. Written by (my best guesstimate) an Indonesian writer who wants to explore the old, SEA bond.

When I first stumbled across Maaf (I was in Highschool at the time, around age 16-ish), I took a casual interest in it and tried to read it through. But, I will wholeheartedly admit that at the time, Pre-Colonial cultures of South-East Asia in general, let alone Philippine, did not really interest me that much. The focus (I think) was mostly on Indonesia, a country I didn't really know back then, and the liberal use of 'ancient' names and artwork just made it feel like an entirely Original Work (that needed a degree in History to really appreciate) and not something from Hetalia. I also completely disagreed with what I could gather was the story's portrayal of PH but I'm getting ahead of myself.

Do I hate 'Maaf'? No, I don't hate it. Do I wish I never came across it or that it didn't exist? Of course not. Just because I didn't enjoy it or appreciate it that well doesn't mean I wish any ill toward it, its fans, or its creator.

Fast forward to April 2021, the long awaited inclusion of South East Asia to the canon Hetalia verse. I was happy, the other fans were happy, all was good.

Then started the questionable fanarts, fan theories and fan pairings.

Especially the expansion of Precolonial! PH.

Let's go back to Maaf for one moment. From what I understood of Maaf, PH there was a character who once was like all the other South East Asian cultures, trading with them, all around being a nice family.

But all that changed when the Spaniards attacked, so cry the precolonial buffs. They destroyed everything, ransacked and marginalized the tribes, erased everything that PH was!

Did that happen? ABSOLUTELY. The Spaniards had this vision in mind that they must spread Christianity to all of the 'savage, unchristian heathens' of their realm. :V /s

But back up a second, back to PH's portrayal in Maaf. The way she (yeah, she) was portrayed there was that she was slowly losing her memories of being a 'true' South East Asian and grew more and more westernized in the process, like some sort of Culture-specific Alzheimer's or something.

Firstly, that is seriously depressing, and secondly, I just really don't see that happening.

Here's why.

Point 1: Even before Colonial Masters, Filipinos as a people cannot agree on anything.

I'll just begin this segment with a Philippine proverb that outlines what Filipinos call 'Crab Mentality' or 'Crab Bucket Mentality'.

"You don't need a lid for a container when you're keeping multiple crabs. If you keep at least two crabs together, they will just pull each other down instead of helping each other up."

I don't know how it goes with Indonesian or Malaysian history class, but what I know of my homeland, both pre- and post-colonial history, we were never really 'united' or 'together' in the sense that Indonesia and Malaysia were (from what I assume).

Let me pull up a somewhat related question on r/AskHistorians.

The reason I brought this up as it shows the reasons why, in my opinion, a single entity that is 'Precolonial Philippines-tan' is an impossibility.

The answers are long and would extend this already long post to stupid proportions, so I'll just quote relevant sentences. The link is here for those that wanna deep-dive into the answer.

"All this to say that there wasn't a name used for the entire Philippine islands before the Philippines that people now would agree to. An interesting comparison would be the Holy Roman Empire, which might also be characterized as disparate politico-geographic groups of relatively small size that had a history of relations between each other, but one thing they had that the Philippines did not was a common language, or at least a family of mostly mutually intelligible languages, so that the name Deutschland or Germany isn't terribly offensive to anyone. If you called the Philippines the 'Lupang-Tagalog' or even 'Lupang-Tao' the other ethnic groups would protest."

For those in need of translation, 'Lupang Tagalog' means 'Land of the Tagalogs' and 'Lupang Tao' means 'Land of People', specifically. The first one is already exclusive and offensive, as the Tagalog peoples are but one of many ethnicities here.

And for the 'Lupang Tagalog' suggestion specifically, it's even more offensive as they are the majority ethnicity (not by much, just around 28%) From this chart from Geography Now! It would basically be alienating everyone else in the 72% remainder that isn't 'Tagalog'.

And even 'Lupang Tao', the most generic name in a local language you can think of, would be met with contempt because the name itself is in the Tagalog language.

Just travelling between two individual island groups today would sometimes require a translator because the words can change very rapidly and very drastically. Here's a sample of some differences coming from a friend living in Visayas (in Red) vs. the words I know living in Luzon (In blue).

Ate vs. Manang = Older Sister

Ibon vs. Pispis = Bird

Tumawa vs. Kadlaw = To laugh

Takot vs. Hadlok = Fear

Kain vs. Kaon = To eat

Ngayon vs. Subong = Now, at this point in time

Iyak vs. Hibi/Gibi = to cry

Talampakan vs. Tiil = Foot (in Tagalog, the word retains its 'body part AND unit of measurement' meaning)

Tulog vs. Tuyo = to sleep (Tuyo in Tagalog is either a dried salted fish or 'to dry')

The kicker is that just like Tagalog is just one of many languages here, so too is the language my friend speaks. Ask an entirely new person, like someone from Mindanao, they'll probably have an entirely new set of words.

It's not just Luzon vs. Visayas vs. Mindanao, either. Here's a map listing some of the ethnic groups here.

Even the way they're written differs from location to location.

While we're on the subject of Island divisions, a casual skim across Twitter and Tumblr has shown that their Precolonial PH has been one of the following ancient civilizations: Tondo, Butuan, Sugbu, Namayan. There may have been others but that was what I have found.

Notice how even today, the posters of Precolonial PH can't seem to agree on what he's supposed to be? With Indonesia it's either Majapahit or Srivijaya and Malaysia it's usually Malacca iirc.

What is the big deal? Well, let's go back to the Ask Historians post. "Why didn't the Philippines ever change its name to remove the colonial mark that being named after a Spanish King has?" The answer: "If you suggested something dating to precolonial times, the other ethnic groups would protest."

Since we're on a roll with maps, let me bring this up.

As you can see, the precolonial PH posts have a reason to not be able to agree on one thing, as there is a LOT of options. Do you also see how THAT list is also split up?

It's split up into those aligned with China (Sinified), aligned with India (Indianized), aligned with the Middle East (Islamicized), and no alignment (Animist). Now, let's go back to the main suggestions for which Kingdom/Polity/Civilization/whatever Modern Philippines used to be.

If the Filipino peoples' couldn't agree on something as simple as WHAT TO CALL THE LAND THEY'RE LIVING ON, what more a living, breathing, walking, talking entity that is supposed to be a beacon of all of their 'unified' culture? ESPECIALLY if that entity used to be a currently existing Kingdom/Polity/Rajahnate/Sultanate/whatever.

Tondo? "Of course, always the damn Tagalogs. Tagalog this, Tagalog that. First the capital city, then the language,* THE REST OF US EXIST, YOU KNOW! What about us in Visayas? Mindanao?"

*The national language known as 'Filipino' is just standardized Tagalog*

Butuan? "Wait, you want Butuan to represent us? They're they only Indian-aligned city in the Islam-majority Mindanao! They're not even that many of them! I'm not gonna change my religion!"

Sugbu, the other name for the Rajahnate of Cebu on the map? Lemme bring back my Visayan friend again. According to her, she hails from the Hiligaynon part of Visayas.

"Sure :v and the other islands are what?

Chopped liver?

Not to mention the language and writing barrier helloooo"

And Namayan? Well. I'll let this pic speak for itself.

To summarize, no matter who you pick as Modern PH's previous identity, it will not end well nor be accepted by the other Kingdoms at the time.

"So where does that leave Modern PH, he had to have been ONE of them, right?"

Well, not really. He doesn't HAVE to be one of the Ancient Kingdoms that lasted till the modern day. I mean, predecessor representatives exist in Hetalia canon, after all. Like Modern Greece is a different character from Ancient Greece, Ancient Egypt and Modern Egypt, heck even England and his brothers have a canon mother that was the rep before them.

Or you could even use the same logic that Germany does, in that each specific region has/had its own representative and that Modern!PH is just the 'mediator' between them (cause gawd does PH need one). There could be a Tondo, a Namayan, a Butuan, and a Sugbu, all arguing and this Proto-PH is just trying to make headway in making them all satisfied.

But, even after all this, there is another reason why I personally don't subscribe to the 'Precolonial PH' idea, and by tangential extension, the Indo x Phil pairing.

Point 2: Even without intending to, Precolonial Indo x Phil just comes off as patronizing

This second point is just ENTIRELY personal preference and barely has any facts to back it up.

Again, if you like the pairing and disagree with me, You do you. I will respectfully support you and your passions from a distance.

But for me, Indo being Phil's seme/bae/boyfriend and consistently bringing up precolonial times just comes off as patronizing.

Just one more time, I'd like to point out that I am NOT bashing Indonesia, its people or the subscribers of Indo x Phil. This is just how the pairing feels to ME specifically.

The way I see it, Indo x Phil as a pairing, especially if it extends back into precolonial times, reads the same way as a long-since married couple where the husband/wife CONSTANTLY brings up that ONE outing you had together, or that ONE prom night where you kissed while dancing, even it happened like 30 some-odd years ago and so much more happened since then.

Even in a platonic sense, It reads like two besties where one ALWAYS mentions stuff like 'Yeah but you looked so much cooler back in High School' or 'Back in Grade School you would've known that', or 'Remember back in Pre-school we did X? How could you forget that?'

How does one respond to the notion that no matter what you do now, it will never compare to a past you've already forgotten or barely remember? That the best version of 'you' is already long gone?

"That's because the westerners made you forget your culture! You gotta take it back!"

While it is true, yes, as a collective we barely remember the Kingdom that commissioned the Laguna Copperplate, or created the Banaue Rice Terraces, or created the millennia old bonds that we still share with Indonesia and Malaysia.

But to keep pushing the precolonial identity would be to neglect and cast aside the one REAL binding belief and culture that spans the entirety of these islands we call the Philippines.

We take on all the bad stuff that happens to us, conquer it, and make it our own. Be it natural disasters, foreign powers, or negative stereotypical mentalities.

Yes, we've forgotten the ancient kingdoms of old and are just now digging through the closet for those remnants of the past. Yes, the colonizers imposed that on us, and made us forget. But in the process we've also taken everything that they left behind, everything that they threw at us, and created something that can only come from us.

The lanterns that the Spaniards used to light the way to the morning masses they made us attend became our globally known symbol of Christmas. The junked vehicles that the Americans left behind in World War 2 are now rolling works of art that announce themselves loud and proud on the streets (for better or for worse). The iced dessert recipe that the Japanese forced us to learn while they were occupying the country is now so distinct and famous it is synonymous with us, and is so delicious even Italy has taken notice.

Even after all this? Even after all the 425-ish years total we have been under a foreign power, with all the progress we've made as a country, a people, and a nation, you would still imply our fragmented, jigsaw puzzle state of being in the past was better just because it was pure 'South East Asian' like everyone else?

We might not be as well put-together as Indonesia or Malaysia, but we made this melting pot of angry, leg-pulling, dogpiling, Native, Mestizo, Chinoy, and Fil-Am crabs OURS, damnit!

It's now 4:30 AM and I have work in 5 or so hours. I'll be going to sleep now.