#I'm really happy with how much I've gotten to accomplish this year. going to be able to do a year-in-review for art again

[everybodyknows-everybodydies]

lol

[whiskehorange]

Its been a very, very, long time.

I don't even really know where to even begin, thats how long it's been since I've a) posted and b) logged onto my Tumblr. It's been close to a year, even 2 since I've actively posted anything on here before taking that sudden break without any warning. It was much unexpected to me as I'm sure it was for those of you who were actively keeping up with me, but I do want to assure you guys that its nothing too devastating.

I've noticed I've only seemed to gain followers and interactions on all of my posts in the year and some I've been gone, and I not only want to thank you guys immensely, as I usually do, for that but also for such a warmer welcome than I thought I was going to see, and that eases my nerves a bit. I guess to jump right into it, aside from spending this entire post apologizing even though that's what I want to do, I'll start you guys off with a little update: I've moved! I'm in a much more positive and helpful environment than before. It's come with its very high ups and very low downs, but I've been able to accomplish more where I am right now that stuck in the depressive hole and mental health crisis's I was having a year ago.

That being said, I've gotten a stable job as well after a few months of very combative mental health issues and many doctors visits later! It's certainly a start but its decent income for me in the situations I'm in now.

On the sillier/less important side, I am still with my boyfriend, @horrormomshoe (although he hasn't touched his tumblr longer than I had) and as many of you remember my guinea pigs, I am sad to say that my poor Elon has passed away late of last year right before I moved. I do still have Eddie and he's just a silly as ever.

Other than that I can't really think of too much else that has happened besides really small things that honestly just wouldn't be fun for you guys to sit here and read, but the TLDR: I'm happy (debatable HAHA), healthy (also debatable), and in a much better position than I was before. And you know I can't end this off without another apology for such a sudden departure, and it's been stuck in the back of my mind and has harbored a lot of guilt for how I left. Now while I certainly can't guarantee I'll be spending as much time on here as I used to now that I have a full time job, but there will definitely be frequent check ins, posts, and whatnot like before. I've certainly got enough in my inbox to keep my occupied and I've really missed being on here as much as I used to. I really look forward to getting back into this a little bit at a time, I've been dying to get my energy out somehow <3

[sage-green-matcha]

Could you do something where reader has mommy issues and Ethan comforts her?:’) I love your work!!

PROUD OF YOU - ETHAN LANDRY 💕

Getting into an argument with your mom, but Ethan is there to make u feel better :)

Content includes: fluff! Argument with mom, sweet Ethan! Angst? Honestly idk!

A/n: Ty for the request! Sending love <3

<3

<3

<3

You were excited, to say the least, you had gotten into your dream college. You were beaming with joy, jumping up and down at the admission letter on the screen.

"I'm so happy for you, sweetheart" Ethan fluffed your hair, pulling you into a tight hug. "Thanks, E" You couldn't stop smiling, your face hurting from it.

"You should call your mom! Tell her the news" Your eyebrows furrowed at his words. You weren't sure if it was too good of an idea, she always hated the fact that you wanted to go out of state for college.

"Yea...I guess I should" You laid down on your belly, humming while Ethan rubbed your back. You were unsure of the idea, staring at her contact on your phone.

"It'll be fine" You found Ethan's words comforting, clicking on the call icon. Your heart raced as you waited for her to pick up your call, something she rarely did.

You smiled once she picked up, your words carefully tumbling out of your mouth. "Hey...Mom!" She was silent as you chewed on your lip, waiting for a response. "Hi y/n, what happened?"

"Well uhm, I got into Blackmore! Just thought I should tell you" Her response wasn't really what you wanted to hear, leaving you with a blank face. "Okay...are you going to transfer? You know I already paid your sophomore year, right?"

"Uhm, no. I told you not to pay it..." You felt uncomfortable arguing with your mom over the phone, and it was worse because Ethan was next to you. "Come on Y/n! Could you be a little appreciative? Now I have to take back the money and explain to the school that my daughter isn't doing what I want. Is that what you want?"

Your eyebrows furrowed, a frown forming on your face. "I...what? No, of course not"  Your breath hitched, a ball forming in your throat. "That's what it seems like. Go to Blackmore if you want, you're just gonna make a fool out of yourself"

She hung up and you held back a cry, Ethan looking at you with remorse.

"I'm sorry, Y/n" You shook your head, holding back tears. "It's okay. I should've known that's how she was gonna react" You didn't want to show him that you were crying. But he knew you were, he always did.

"Hey, look at me. Her opinion is irrelevant. I'm proud of you, and she should be too" his doughy eyes brought a small smile to your lips. But it was wiped away as her words replayed in your head.

"I just wanted to make her proud of me. That's all I've been doing my entire life. It's never enough for her" A sigh fell from your lips, feeling your lungs tighten up. You tried to catch your breath, your tears not allowing you.

"Breath, it'll be okay. I promise" His body was warm as he pulled you into his chest. "You deserve better. She's not worth it. Alright? You're doing everything you can" he ran his hands through your hair, rubbing your back. "It's not enough. I'm not good enough for her" his baggy shirt soaked up your tears, mascara making your eyes sting.

"She doesn't know what she's talking about. You're the smartest person I know Y/n, you're so much stronger than I could ever be. I love you, don't let it get to you. She's just jealous of your accomplishments"

You found yourself calming down, your breath slowly getting back to normal. "Thanks, Eth, I don't know where I would be without you. You're too good for me" he moved your hair out of your face, wiping the tears that stained your face. "And you're too perfect for me! I don't know how I got so lucky"

"Shut up" your voice was mumbled, hiding a smile. "I love you, yea?" His thumb caressed your jawline, admiring your smile. "I love you too"

[plscallmeeren]

HIS ASSISTANT

Severus Snape x Reader

Request: yep, by @Chloelouise02

Summary: (Y/n) was Snape's only friend back in their time at Hogwarts, but they had a falling out just before they graduated so he doesn't know how to feel now that she had been appointed as his assistant. This takes place during the golden trio's third year, or, more specifically - in their first lesson.

Warnings: a swear word or two?; dementors; shouting; pretty much just fluff

Word Count: 1.7K+

"Clean up that mess", he drawled lowly, and for the hundredth time that week I fumed at his attitude.

"Magic word?", I seethed, not moving a muscle to reach for my wand.

"If you wanted me to Imperio you, you could just say so", even through all this I heard his suppressed smirk that I would have loved to see after all this time, but apparently wasn't worthy of.

I couldn't help but roll my eyes in disbelief, and was inevitably reminded of our past shared moments. I'm not sure if it made me sad or happy thinking about. Maybe nostalgia is meant to have both.

"How about the other one?"

After a very long and over-dramatic sigh he gave in, boosting my serotonin levels drastically, at least that's what I think this feeling was.

"...Please."

"See? Was that so hard?" He didn't answer but his expression suggested it was indeed so hard.

I pulled out my wand reluctantly and swung the wood wordlessly, the puddle of rainbow-coloured failure vanishing in thin air.

I mean hey, at least it wasn't as bad as Seamus' rumored explosive draughts.

In fact, there were many rumours about all students of Hogwarts as well as teachers from other schools and Rosemary or someone of the likes from down in a Hogsmeade pub.

If I'm being honest, the teachers' room possessed more qualities of a gossip girls set-up, a talk show or a Comedy Drama movie than a teachers' room at all; but I wisely decided a while ago already to keep this to myself.

Severus apparently enjoyed the talk just as, if not more than anyone else, not that he would ever dare to admit it.

Sev...

It felt strange calling him Severus. It felt stranger calling him Snape, though, so to his dismay that's what he was going to have to put up with. We just weren't on good enough terms again for, well, honestly? Anything.

Now you may be wondering how we ended up like this. To keep it short: I'm the second-last week of our last school year he kissed me. And for whatever reason I kissed him back because apparently I had a stupid crush on him; but then he felt guilty because of Lily (am I a joke to him?) and just left and refused to talk to me again.

Great way to treat your best friend. Really. Wicked.

"Is it just my imagination or are you particularly moody right now? Because I could swear I made you laugh an hour ago and I've basically just lost all of my progress." His lip twitched upward as he positioned himself behind one of the front desks, but maybe it was a trick on the eyes.

"No. I am not moody. I am never moody. And I am most certainly not more moody than usual." Those were the most sentences I had gotten out of him in a row all day, but my accomplishment was quickly forgotten at the rubbish he had just made me hear.

"You're never- oh, I get it. I know you're not Mad-Eye. Believe me. You just haven't got the looks", I grinned, before my face fell and I grew serious for once.

"No, seriously. Have you got a bad relationship to the Potter kid or something? Everyone talks about him so much but never in relation to you. Is that it? Are you dreading him?"

I'm pretty sure if you held a really exact ruler to his eyes and you weren't shaking at the look he's giving me now, you would have seen they'd widened a couple of millimeters. But unfortunately I guess no one's gonna take over that job, are they?

He simply stayed silent until all the students had come in and positioned themselves at their desks, including the Potter boy, who was sitting next to who I think was a Weasley.

The lesson began and I watched in curiosity as his eyes flicked to Potter more often than not, although the possibility was still there that it was only because I had brought it up. I gradually regretted not saying so after the lesson more and more.

"This is my new assistant, Ms. (L/n). She will be helping me keep your dim-witted souls under control and prevent you from destroying anything as best as possible", he sent a sharpened glance at Finnigan as he said the last part, making the boy gulp. That has to count for something, right? He hadn't put it that way all the times he introduced me until now, so maybe he was warming up to me again.

I could tell the students wanted to start whispering, but their fear of Severus seemed to surpass even that.

Once he gave the assignment, however, and they started working, I heard my name mentioned in their conversations more often than i would have liked under any circumstances.

I can't believe how judged and pressured you can feel by a bunch of teenagers, even as an adult.

The amount of times it was suggested Sev and I were together or he had a crush on me or something was even more unsettling, yet aside from a casual blown up cauldron on Seamus' behalf the rest of the day went by rather eventlessly.

...

And so did the rest of the week. And the next. And the next. Although I did get rather invested in the drama of Mulligan's relationships, but who didn't?

The dementors on the grounds were becoming more and more annoying, and I was thoroughly sick of them to say the least.

One Saturday I dared to pass the lake and sit down on the edge of the Forbidden Forest. I wanted fresh air, and above all - I wanted to be completely undisturbed.

So, lying down on my jacket I pulled out Tiffany Aching: I Shall Wear Midnight and started reading.

I think I lay there for hours before something happened. Or more accurately, disturbed me.

The air grew cold fast but the wind stood still, as if balancing in the tip of its toes, threatening to plunge forward in one great gust.

As a familiar feeling of sadness invaded me it didn't take long for me to come to my senses and realize what was approaching me.

Dementors. Patronus. Quick. Now.

I spun around, just to look right into it's disgusting face - well, I wouldn't call it that, but then again, what else can one call it?

But before I could do more than draw my wand, before I could utter the words, before a clear thought could even fully pass through my head -

- someone else yelled the spell.

"EXPECTO PROTONUM!"

The voice was suspiciously familiar, so I wasn't all too surprised when I saw the figure of Severus standing on a rock, panting as he held out his wand. The questions that remained were why, how, where and when.

The dementor was being chased away by-

Something that couldn't possibly be true. Anyone who knew Sev - so, not many, I guess - knows that- no, it's can't be.

The figure of a tiger was attempting to pounce on the Dementor, which was gliding away as fast as seemed dementorly possible.

But- a doe- it can't be!

"What were you thinking!?", he raged, marching up to me, wand still raised, "Oh, yes, why not just lie around at the edge of the Forbidden Forest-"

"Severus-"

"-and read a book! Who cares about the dementors whirring around here like a pack of bees!"

"Severus!"

"And what-

"SEV!", I called, but he just yelled louder.

"How stupid are you!? You were never responsible, I guess that never changed, did it? I always have to fucking save you-" That's it.

"SEVERUS FUCKING SNAPE YOU WILL BE QUIET THIS MINUTE."

That seemed to do the job.

"Don't you go on about you saving me, and don't you dare try and embarrass me or something just because you felt embarrassed yourself back then when you were seventeen! How petty can you be? It was one kiss, I don't care!" My breath fell short as I shared the thoughts I had been dying to tell him. "And since when is your patronus the same as mine!?"

He stayed quiet yet again. God, I hate it when he does that. Well, no, I don't, but I hate it when he does it after I confronted him with something.

"I didn't-" Silence again.

"It's been a tiger since the day we kissed." He seemed to deem that enough said as he sulked and began turning away.

Oh, no you won't.

"Is it because you don't regret it?", I called, barely keeping control of my words at this point. "Because you still want to?"

He halted suddenly, whisked around in one motion, and walked up to me. He stood mere inches from me and for the life of me I couldn't tell whether he was about to yell at or kiss me.

The latter was the case.

He simply pecked my lips once before smiling slightly-

I repeat, smiling!

-and walking off yet again. But this time I didn't stop him. In fact, I didn't do anything much as I watched his cape hide him until he felt beyond the horizon.

And I had never minded as much as now.

———————————————————-

A/N:

Oh, to be an assistant...

This was fun, but my autocorrect is actually killing me. Like really. I have French, German, English and emoji keyboards on here and I'm pretty sure I'm gonna lose it

Like every time I'm writing in one language it is ALWAYS, I repeat ALWAYS in a different one.

Anyways, hope you liked this, I would appreciate every comment you can spare :D

-Eren

[fuckyeahhiccannamonth]

HIIIII HICCANNA NATION, long time no post!!!

Sooooo long story short, a bitch overcommitted HARD last year, and had like 17 Hiccanna month posts that I completely ran out of steam to finish. And then because I felt so guilty I didn't finish THOSE, I also didn't reblog all the incredibly awesome posts the rest of y'all made, and I'm really sorry for not giving my people the love and appreciation they deserve!!! And then, of course, my life from like October through like March became an absolute shitstorm, and I got semi-threatened with eviction and then friend-dumped by one of the most important people in my life D: It was a whole Ordeal™️, and sadly, my brain was too fried to think about my favorite awkward blorbos 💔

BUT BY GOD, THE TIME HAS COME FOR ME TO GET MY LIFE TOGETHER AND PULL THROUGH FOR ALL YOU WONDERFUL PEOPLE WHO HAVE MADE THIS FUNKY LITTLE EVENT COME TO LIFE!!! I WILL finish reblogging all of last year's Hiccanna Month posts before the end of this month if it kills me!!! And by god, I WILL have this event again, because it's what y'all deserve!!! I don't have the spoons to post much of my own stuff this year (except maybe some leftovers from last year lol), but I'm going to be more on top of my shit about hyping anyone and everyone who decides to participate :3 I'm so grateful for each and every one of you, and I can't tell you how happy it's made me that you all have made this event for my little rarepair OTP bigger and better than I ever imagined 💚🧡💚🧡

I am, however, following suit for some of the other RotBTFD ship months and cutting down from one prompt a day to two per week for 8 prompts total, with an overarching theme for each week. I honestly don't have the spoons to do a prompt every day this year, although for future Hiccanna months, that could change. The two-a-week format seems to work better for a lot of people anyways, since I've gotten feedback that 31 prompts in a row is, er…pretty overwhelming, to say the least ^^; So two prompts a week for this year, and we will see if people like this format better!

@gryffindorkxdraws a tag for you, as promised 🩵

AND NOW, the prompt list!!! Apologies for only giving you guys a couple weeks of prep time—I know it's usually more ^^; But y'all know I'm flexible about late submissions, and it's totally fine if you submit for Hiccanna month after July! And who knows??? If I'm feeling spicy, I might tack on a bonus week for the first week of August 👀👀👀

WEEK 1—MUSIC Special thanks to @lovestrucklyuniverse for suggesting a focus on music from Hiccup and Anna's movies—I'm enamored with that!!! Of course, these prompts are just suggestions, and if you'd rather make something inspired by a pop song, alternative rock jam, or Eurovision ballad that reminds you of Hiccanna, then have at it!

1. For the Dancing and the Dreaming—A re-imagining of our favorite Viking wedding song with Hiccup and Anna! They're certainly the sort of people who would do all manner of impressive feats and grand gestures to win each other over, but the joke is on them—they don't need to! Sometimes, pledging love and devotion is enough, and there's no need to slay monsters or gift troves upon troves of treasure to prove yourself worthy of someone.

2. More Than Just the Spare—One of my absolute favorite things about these two is how they rise above being overlooked and underappreciated and accomplish some truly spectacular things. This prompt is all about Hiccup and Anna showing that they can be more than anyone ever expected them to be—preferably together, while being madly in love!

WEEK 2—MOVIES AND TV Let's be real—we've all dreamed of seeing Hiccup and Anna interact (and adorably butcher flirting several times) on the big screen. Whether it's through an epic Disney-Dreamworks crossover (god, we all wish, right?!) or imagining Best Awkward Blorbos in your favorite TV show, this week is all about Hiccanna slaying in visual media!

1. Romcoms—Have you ever watched a romcom and gone "You know what would make this better? If it was about Hiccanna!"? Furthermore, have you ever watched a romcom and gone "Well shit, this is literally just about Hiccanna!"? Well, now's your time! Make something inspired by your favorite Hiccanna-coded romcom, or a romcom you desperately believe needs more Hiccanna energy in it! Or, hell, make up a brand-new cheesy romcom plot for these two and make us all swoon 💞

2. Dramas—We forget it sometimes, but not everything in these two dorks' lives is sunshine and rainbows. Hiccup lost a whole-ass leg! Anna almost froze to death! They both grew up lonely, friendless, and (relatively) isolated from their communities! For this prompt, take your favorite drama and Hiccanna-ify it—or aplify the Hiccanna you already see! It can be any subgenre you want—coming-of-age drama, period drama, weird avant-garde indie drama, you name it! Subject those guys to some Dramatics™️ and let us see :3

WEEK 3—LITERATURE AND TEXT PROMPTS This week is all about something so many of us long to have an excuse to do--write about the blorbos! Whether you're looking to try your hand at fic for the first time or you're coming back to add more much-needed Hiccanna into our ever-sparse internet ecosystem, these text prompts will hopefully get your fanfiction juices flowing. Pick your favorite(s) of the four for each day, and write away! If you want to try and do all of them then have at it, but don't stress yourself out!!! I wanna make sure this year's event is as chill and no-pressure as possible, since I know a lot of options can be overwhelming, especially for Anna and I's fellow ADHDers! And if you don't want to commit to writing anything, or writing just isn't your strong suit, that's okay too! Use this week to make something based on any literature that brings Hiccanna to mind, or any literary world you'd love to see our favorite awkward ship in. Happy creating! Also HUGE shout-out to @lilandraws for helping me narrow this down from 40 fucking prompts, because when I tried to just casually make a list of text prompts I liked, I got, um...a bit carried away ^^; Also for giving some absolutely hilarious commentary that singlehandedly got me through the workday, bless 💚💚💚 And thank you to @creativepromptsforwriting for the prompts themselves!

1. Pick your favorite(s)!!! a) “Two bros, chilling in a small bed…” b) “Someone just handed you a cat?” c) “Sorry I tried to kill you.” “It’s fine, but next time you should try harder.” d) “Takes one to know one.”

2. Pick your favorite(s)!!! a) He had prepared himself for all the different ways she could reject him. But what he hadn’t prepared for was for her to actually say yes. b) “Want to hear some random facts about geese?” c) “What are we?” “Human. At least I hope we still are.” d) “I can’t stop thinking about kissing you.” “And what are you going to do about that?”

WEEK 4—COMIC BOOKS And now, for the ultimate kick-ass combination of visuals and literature—the visual novel and comic book!!! Since Hiccup and Anna are, fundamentally, animated cartoons (as much as they are much more to all of us!), it seemed fitting to wrap up with this one :3 This week is all about comics, and what epic shenanigans and hijinks can come of Hiccanna-ifying them!

1. Sci-Fi/Fantasy AU—One of the things comic books and visual novels do best is exploring fantastical scenarios and limitless possibilities. The iconic superhero AU is probably the most well-known, but your options don't end there! Do you have a favorite comic about guys on spaceships exploring the galaxy and battling aliens? Or a comic about a party of DnD-style adventurers taking down an evil wizard? Throw some Hiccanna in it and let us see! The sky's the limit, and really, you don't even have to stop there! (Note: Using AUs for ANY of these prompts is real and valid and encouraged, so don't feel like this is the only place where you can use wacky AUs! This is just the one where they have a special focus/emphasis. But AU away whenever you like—Hiccup and Anna kinda require an AU to even be able to interact, so it sort of comes with the territory!)

2. Favorite Comic Book Adaptation AU—Many of us have been lucky enough to see a comic we like be adapted into something else, and can say with confidence that the adaptation kicks absolute ass,, whether it be a movie, TV show, novelization, video game, or whatever else! Like with the previous prompt, superhero comics might be the first thing to come to mind. Of course, I'd be delighted to see Hiccanna in the world of the Spiderverse, Invincible, or your favorite DC or Marvel movie, but keep in mind these aren't your only choices! Something like Scott Pilgrim vs. the World or Netflix's The Sandman would be a totally valid option as well! Have fun and go crazy :3

Aaaaaaand that's all for now! Tag those posts with hiccannamonth2024 or hiccannamonth24 so I can see them and reblog, and happy Hiccanna month-ing! Can't wait to see what everyone comes up with and shower all my love on it 💗💖❤️‍🔥 See you next month!!! We will go through all of July…and beyond >:3

As far as content goes, literally anything is welcome--edits, art, drabbles/fanfic, videos, interpretive dance you record yourself doing that has Hiccanna motifs, it is all fair game as long as it’s Hiccanna-related!

Your ever-determined Hiccanna month hoster person, Fuckyeahhiccannamonth 💚

[salemssimblr]

Hello there! I'm Eden :D I LOVE your renders! I've been rendering for well over a year at this point, however I only stuck to the super basic stuff since it took me a year before that to even know how to do it at all. I've wanted to up my game and get to where you are now. I'm SO SORRY if this question was asked already (I haven't gotten too far in your posts yet), but;

How do you personally edit your renders? I understand you use photoshop, but how do you do it exactly? Your renders have that kind of digital art style, like you drew them yourself. Feel free to be as descriptive or brief as you'd like!

Hi Eden!!! Thank you so much! 🥹😍♥️

I've followed you back and glad we're moots! I'd love to see some of your work!

I'm not sure if I've answered this before but I'm happy to answer it again! Also I haven't advertised it in a while (and I really need to try to get up a new tut, maybe soon), but my alt account is a Render School where I post tutorials, with plans to post editing tutorials in the future!

But honestly as far as my editing, I really don't do much.

Actions are my secret weapon, and I have a few favorites/go-tos I'll link! A few are by simmers and a few are just action sets. I'm in a family of photographers, so I have access to a wealth of resources for my editing.

Sonder set by @intramoon

Cold Water set by @intramoon

Retro Prime photoshop actions

Indie camera photoshop actions

But my "secret weapon," as it were, and the set of actions that I think most helps me accomplish that digital art style is a set of actions that are sadly expensive and hard to find now.

My favorite set is by Totally Rad! and I think in recent years it's been folded in to this Pixel Sugar product on their website. I know that's a steep price point but it's possible you can find it around the corners of the Internet for less, or if you can't, you might be able to find "dupes" of the better ones, which imo are:

Technicolor dream world

Super Fun Happy

Bullet Tooth

Grandma's Tap Shoes

As for my method, I know a lot of simmers paint over their renders, and I've done that a few times but find I'm too impatient tbh. My goal is always to have to do only minor touchups over my renders and some color/vibe adjustments before the finished product. My "raw" files are always exactly what blender spits out for me, unaltered in any way except to resize them for Tumblr.

To get that digital art style, I'd recommend rendering with alpha details if you don't already. If your computer can't handle alpha cc in the game, DM me and I can give you some pointers (sneak peek info for a future tut lmao) on how to accomplish it without bogging down your game.

When I go into photoshop I adjust the brightness and contrast, as I tend to personally prefer high contrast pieces that contain dark subject matter but you can still see the details. Then I'll paint/blur/clone/adjust anything that needs it, then I'll "stack" and adjust a handful of actions before applying edge blur and vignette and any other color adjustments (levels, curves, etc).

That's a very oversimplified rundown of what I do, but really overall my editing process is simple. The bulk of my work happens in blender itself. I find that the more time I take to perfect the lighting and shadows and angles in blender, the less frustrating the editing process and the happier I am with the end result. So, that said, be sure you're spending a lot of time in blender getting the light and shadows to be exactly where you need/want them to be before running it.

I know this is a bit long I'm sorry! If any of it is super confusing or you'd like a more in-depth look at any of it please let me know! I do plan to do editing tutorials for my side blog, but the latter half of this year has kind of run over me like a train, and for now I'm just trying to get by day by day. But I'm happy to help if you have more specific questions!

& thank you again!! ♥️

[anunusers]

Hiya love!!

Saw your post and though I would ask! 😁

Can I ask all of them? 1-36 lmao

Last question is: what's your biggest fear?

Love u, byeeeeee🩷

OMG this made me so happy!!!!! I'm a nobody and you want to know about me?!?!? 😭means the world to me!!!❤️I love you !!!!!

I did try to answer all of the questions and I thought I posted it but I am new with posting so please forgive me! Also, I'm an over sharer so I'm sorry in advance for that too!

What is your nickname?

Lately, my colleagues have been calling me Jay. Other times I'm Jen or Jenni.

When is your birthday?

4/3 :)

What was your longest relationship?

I've only been in one serious relationship and those were the hardest 4 years of my lifeeeee! Seriously, barely made out alive. 😮‍💨

What is your favorite book?

I have so mannnnyyy! It's so hard to pick one but I'll share a few that actually caught my attention and still have resonated with me:

A Man Called Ove by Fredrik Backman

Anxious People by Fredrik Backman

Tony and Susan by Austin Wright

It Ends With Us by Colleen Hoover

I'm thinking of ending things by Iain Reid

I honestly have so many more, but these are the ones I have read recently and absolutely loved. Also, Fredrik Backman is currently my fav author so I definitely recommend checking him out !

What is something you're insecure about?

My appearance for sure. I don't feel confident in my looks whatsoever haha. I feel like I am fugly most of the time but that just what has been embedded in my brain since I was younger. Also, I've recently have gotten insecure with my voice. Which is so random but I kind of hate my voice LOL.

5 Male celebrity crushes

Jake Gyllenhaal (obvy LOL), Pedro Pescal, Jaime Camil, Tenoch Huerta, Aaron Taylor-Johnson. I honestly have many more and they are all from Novelas. That is all I grew up watching with my mom hehe.

5 Female celebrity crushes

Elizabeth Olsen, Emma D'arcy, Scarlett Johanssan, Ana de Armas, Anne Hathaway and again, I am many many moorreee.

What is your dream job?

I always wanted to do something in music or theatre. A singer or actor. I was a huge choir nerd in high school. I even did piano lessons for a few years. On my last year of high school, I ended up doing theatre and it was so much fun! I did plays and that experience really made me love theatre. Maybe one day in the future... 🙏

What do you consider your biggest accomplishment?

I haven't accomplished much in life to be honest so I don't know what I would consider an accomplishment. Maybe being able to learn different professions throughout the years. I am a Certified Patient Care Tech and all though I am not even that work field anymore, I still very much enjoyed learning about the healthcare process and what different titles mean when it comes to taking care of patient and getting the help that they need.

What is a fact about you that nobody would believe?

I have no clueeeeeeeee......maybe that I'm from MX ?? LOL My accent is completely gone now from the 12 years that I've lived in the States. Which is so sad cause not only do I suck at speaking English, my Spanish is going down hill too.. I'm slowly turning into a sabo kid!! 😭😭

What were your highs and lows for this last month?

Lately, my lows have been just feeling very lost and out of place. I feel like I should be at a certain point in my life but I am so far from reaching it or maybe I won't ever come close but yeah, its a very crappy feeling. My high this month is definitely receiving this ask from you. Made my day 100% better! ❤️

Where is somewhere you'd like to visit?

I have sooooooo many places I would like to visit!!! In States, I would love to visit New York, Florida for Universal Studios and World Disney. Out of States, I would love to visit Sweden, Italy, Japan, South Korea.

How do you de-stress?

I nap like my life depends on it. I'm stressed, NAP. Upset, NAP. Happy, NAP. Sad, Nap. I could rot happily in my bed if I could get paid for it.

What are your favorite apps besides tumblr?

I honestly only mainly use Tumblr and Tiktok LOL they control my life right now. I don't think I use any other apps. Maybe Amazon and Barnes & Nobles 😁

Describe yourself in one sentence.

Lover girl in a world where love no longer exists. 🫠

What do you think makes you attractive?

I don't know actually... I would like to say my personality perhaps? I think I'm pretty cool I think I'm quite hilarious actually haha. I had someone once say that my eyes and smile was the most attractive thing about me, but I think the opposite.

What is something you're really good at?

Procrastinating. I procrastinate so good that when the deadline of something is like 5 minutes away, I overwork and stress myself out so bad that my work just comes out beautifully. I work amazing under extreme and stressful situations. Not healthy at all so please don't try!!!!

What is something you're really bad at?

Math. Which is funny because I was doing accountant work for a Retail store as my first job and I was amazing. Maybe it was the power I felt while holding thousands of dollars a night while making minimum wage 🥲LOL

A time that you told a lie.

I never lie, I speak my truth all the time but while I was in my first serious relationship, I lied ALOT about being okay and happy. It was such unhealthy relationship for me and I wanted to keep the peace at all times that I lied a lot to my family. Trust me when I say, even if they are older, does not mean they are mature. Learned that the hard way.

What's a totally random and useless fact that you know?

Our brain doesn't know our eyeballs exist and if they did know, they would attack them. You can permanently go blind if our brain was like, "wait a min, where did they come from??" Freaking GNARLY!

Who knows you the best?

My mommy ❤️

What is your most prized possession?

I am in LOVE with V for Vendetta. From the moment I saw it back when my dad would let us rent random movies from Blockbusters, I just love it. I read the comics and love the theatrics of how V is and how beautifully he was portrayed by Hugh Weaving. I ended up buying a screenplay book that contains the directors notes and small changes that were made that didn't make it to the movie and that is my most prized possession. Definitely fueled my love for acting and everything that comes from just being able to shoot a movie.

What is your longest friendship?

9 years but unfortunately, life drifted us apart :(

When did you first feel like an adult?

When I did my taxes for the first time. I was not ready to adult, and I still can't adult correctly but surviving!

Do you/ Have you played any sports?

Yes, volleyball!!!! My family used to play it all time when we lived in MX. I turn into a competitive monster.

How are you feeling right now?

Tired and hungry. I've been surviving on Moster Energy drinks these last few days.

Are you an early bird or a night owl?

I'm honestly neither. I used to be able to stay up all night but now, I can barely wake up early and can barely stay awake lol I'm old now.

Do you believe in love at first sight?

I do, I'm a hopeless romantic.

Favorite song lyrics right now?

I've been listening to sad songs lately. Currently have I Can't Make You Love Me by Bon Iver on a constant loop. "I'll close my eyes, then I won't see. The love you don't feel when you're holding me. Morning will come and I'll do what's right. Give me 'til then to give up this fight." UGH gets me every time! 😭

What does self care look like for you?

Honestly, a nice hot bath in a candle lit bathroom, bright enough to be able to read a book and because I love in AZ, thunderstorm sounds in the background. My definition of self care ❤️

Describe yourself with 3 singers.

This is on hard! I don't know. Ummmmmm can I say 3 of my favorite singers? Amy Lee from Evanescence, RAYE, and Beyonce.

What makes you nervous?

Knowing that we have only explore 5% of the ocean and ocean nearly takes 70% of our planet. Not sure what phobia that is but thinking about that makes me nervous. Also meeting new people. I'm very shy so I get super nervous and anxious.

What’s a pet peeve you have?

When I am with someone and I am sharing something or just telling them something and they are on their phone, not listening at all. Then they have the audacity to say, "Huh?" Like no thank you. The excitement is over and now I'm hurt. 🥲

What will always make you cry?

Thinking about my life. Kidding! I am a huge crybaby so it doesn't take much to make me cry. Show me a sad video, I'll cry a river.

What kind of first impression do you think you make on people?

I don't know, I smile a lot so maybe they form some kind of opinion based on that. I hope it's all good first impressions though. 😊

Special Question: What's your biggest fear?

I have a lot of fears and some may seem so little. I am afraid of never being able to accomplish or become the person I dreamt of being. I'm afraid that I will never get back on track with how I envisioned I would be right now at 24. It's dumb little things that scare me. Never finding love and having a family of my own or not being able to be fully happy. Sometimes it feels like something is missing and maybe that's why I have been feeling lost lately. Those are biggest fears.

THANK YOU SO MUCH AGAIN!!! I really enjoyed answering these questions and would totally love to see you answering them too!!!!!! Love you!!!❤️❤️❤️

[luvvictoria]

" Stupid jerks made us patrol until 11…" Power complains . You hum as you look over at Denji, you can see how tired he is. After all, this thing with the assassination thing is tiring for you all.

Slowly, their voices died down and you drifted off to sleep, even though you were curious to know what Denji said.

The next thing you know when you woke up, is that your head is on Denji's shoulder. He noticed you woke up.

" Doesn't it feel like, it's been a long time ? " You frown, not really understanding what he's saying. Denji peeks at you " How have you been ? " you let out an 'oh' put your head back on his shoulder " I've been fine, and everything's good " he hums " Nice to know…seems like you're doing well. "

You've known Denji before you two became Public Safety Devil Hunters. You had debts to yakuza he was working with, you met and the two of you just clicked together. You were getting along just fine at that time, but with years you've grow up and with your parent's death, you became a Public Safety Devil Hunter to get sweet revenge. You didn't hear anything about Denji since. But somehow, you meet again.

" I miss you… " he continues " It sucks that we can't be in the same division. " you hum in agreement. You wish you could be in the same division with him " But hey, at least I get to see you now ! " you smile softly, even if he can't see it " I'm happy I can see you again. " you say " We should really go out sometime ! " you look up at him, but he was already looking you " We still know each other and i don't stay far away from where you live. "

" Have you gone on any mission before this thing happened ? " you ask out of nowhere " Hm ? ah, I've been going on a few missions. Not that many tho . " you huff " like on 6 or 7, right ? " " Yeahh , I'm kind of okay with it , to be honest… the last couple of fights were wild…" you giggle quietly and close your eyes

" Hey , remember that one fight we had ? " you hum at his question " Are you talking about the fight we had with katana man ? " you look fully at him and, with excitement, he turns and looks at you too " Yeah ! And we let out that awesome combo ! " he talks completely amazed by what have you done by that time " I still bring it up time to time. It was such an accomplishing and satisfying moment ! " he giggles excitedly " And we were able to impress people who don't really get impressed that easily ! " you add with a smile on your face " That makes it even more cooler !! " he giggle again, but then lets out a sigh " I feel like everyone's been so serious recently… I don't know why… " the room fills up with silence " I think it's because of Makima. " Denji throws his head back, leaning on the wall behind you " I've ask multiple people what they think about her, if they think she's a nice person. Anndd, I've gotten mixed results. So I can't really make up my mind off of what other people think about her and to be honest, I don't know much about her myself…" and the room is silent again and he turns his head to you " All I know is that I can't wait 'till this Fiasco is over. "

Denji sighs again " So tell me " you look at him " How are you really doing ? " your face remains stoic but deep down, his question made you feel weird things in your stomach " I remember the last time we spoke to each other, you told me you were feeling alone. I'm not really an expert on emotions or feelings or… how to handle a situation, but the least I could do for you is to listen. " you look down at you feet " I wanted to tell you that day… to keep your head up. " he hugs you close to him by your waist, pulling you closer to him " Besides , you and me, we're always going to be close like this ! " he smiles and you chuckle. Denji knows you so well that you don't even need to say anything. He's just gonna figure out himself that there is something wrong. And to make you feel better he's going to talk with you like this. Balbering about life.

" Before I made it here, and reunited with you, and met everyone else, my life was kinda boring. I would always want to sleep, you know ? Sleeping off the trauma. " he awkwardly laugh " I don't want to sound sentimental but, this place, and everyone here… really means a lot to me. "

" I haven't told anyone this before but, I feel like in the past I used to hate my life. Nothing would ever make sense. I always wondered why am I so alone…is there any reason for why I'm alone, for why I have no one? But then…" you could feel his breath on your neck as he holds you even closer, he was kinda nuzzling om your neck " I met Makima, I met Power, I met other people, and I met you… " your breath hitches and you look at him, speechless yet, happy " And slowly… I started to be thankful for things I never knew I could apreciate. I guess that's the game of life. You don't know what cards life might give you…" Denji now looks at you, holding your shoulders. You were just speechless. You didn't know if that was meant to be a confession, or if he just wanted to make you feel better, but you felt butterflies in your stomach .

" I'm so glad that I never gave up… " he looks at you " And that you haven't either. " he smiles and hugs you tight to him. A hug you return, and hug his waist " We have to be there for each other. " he caresses your hair " There's always going to be some hard days… " he looks down at you " And just because we have people around us, doesn't mean that we still can't feel alone. " He really knows his way with his words " But when I'm with you… I never feel alone, I feel like you understan me the best out of all people " He was making you feel things. You grab his shirt tightly in your fist which, he noticed " Don't you worry. I'm not going anywhere " he now plays with your hair, stroking it " and I'm always going to be here for you, [name]. " you look up at him. Denji softly smiles and with his thumb he started caressing your cheek.

"… I love you "

☆ back to materialist

[antonnieely]

before our last stage of 2023...:D

hello! to everyone who might be reading this, hi! haha, i just felt that, while i am a native english speaker, as all of you must know by now, i haven't really had or taken the chance to express myself in english. so, as another year comes to a close, i wanted to write down some of the things i've been thinking about lately and also share my thoughts with anyone who bothers to read this. haha. I’m not someone who usually journals or writes down my thoughts regularly, but i do sometimes find myself doing so near this time, at the end of the year, as a sort of self-reflection on what i've felt and experienced over the course of the year. what have i accomplished? can i honestly say i tried my best? or maybe how i've changed, or haven't changed, and so on and so forth. so while i'm still only 19 years young with lots more to learn and experience, i think i can say with confidence that even when looking back many years later, 2023 will, to me, have been one of the most important years of my life. Thinking back to the start of 2023, i had been going through some turbulent times. i recently looked through some photos from around this time last year, and what i saw was a very different version of myself. changes happen naturally, big or small, so i'm not saying i'm surprised at how much has changed. but just last year, i was still a trainee, not knowing when i would be able to debut and unsure of whether or not things were going the way they should. i think i should've had more confidence in myself, given the fact that i had left my previous life behind to pursue this dream of mine. but what a relief it is that i've at least gotten to where i am today, and i am proud of myself for having seen things through to the end, although i have not yet felt the satisfaction i once thought i would after debuting. more than that, i think i've been able to realize more fully what it is i want to achieve as an artist and learned that it tends to be harder to be content. and more than anything, i've felt a lot of gratitude towards my family and friends who've always supported me and to the team i've been so blessed to be a part of. and of course, to the fans that have found us and have joined us in our "journey" to achieve great things. No matter how hard i might try, realistically i can only see things from my point of view and in turn only have the right to speak on the things i have personally experienced. so for that reason, i don't believe in assigning levels to struggle, as all people can only speak on the things they are going through. but if there is anyone out there who might be feeling their way through their own obstacles, i hope that they can at least find the strength to not give up. I think that all people perceive time quite differently, so a very long time for someone can seem very short to another. i, for one, feel that time flows very quickly, so right now, i can't believe another year has gone by so fast. but in a year so full of things to remember, i truly am grateful for all the highs and lows i went through. just about four months have passed since our debut. only four months? already four months? what might be some of my new year's resolutions... stay true to myself? and continue to work hard to fulfill my ambitions. and for riize to stay rising. heh. My rant. thank you, and happy new year 🧡

[suleikashideaway]

2023

So I see a lot of people around here with their various wrapped updates regarding the progression of their art. I never really considered that I had much to say, considering I'm such a baby writer and haven't actually published anything. Who am I to join the conversation?

On reflection, I do have a lot to say, and yeah, it's worth saying. 2023 was a big year for me as a writer. So for posterity's sake, I want it known here in my blog.

The big project: FF8

Technically I've been working on a final fantasy 8 fic for years at this point. The fact that it's so personal and complicated kept me from sharing it with anyone. It was for me. It made me happy. But this was the year I decided to at least start the attempt at making it publishable.

After several drafts of this story, early this year I finally reached a point where I could write THE END and mean it. At something close to 140k words, It felt like I had climbed a mountain. Of course, now I look back and see that it was a tiny little baby hill, but it was maybe one of the most important hills I've ever walked.

To my surprise, I found a beta right away, and from there my 2023 trajectory took off into the stratosphere. They know this already, but I have to thank my beta (and now one of my very best friends) @failed221b-chill for lifting me out of the solitude and teaching me so much about everything, but especially taking on the role of my personal writing tutor. Together we went line-by-line through part 1 of my 3-part story, and my little baby writing mind EXPLODED.

Lemme tell ya. The confidence I gained from that. Woof.

It was also made very clear that I had my work cut out for me. Not only did I decide to double the entire fucking thing (by adding in another POV that was initially going to be a separate work), but I realized I needed to rewrite pretty much all of my existing draft.

In the span of a few weeks, I drafted over 35k of the other POV for part 1. With my newfound writing knowledge, I'm going through, line-by-line, and making this story what I want it to be.

Though I feel like I've grown exponentially as a writer, I still feel like this fic, as it stands, is not ready for publishing. Part 1 is almost there...I'm inching closer every day...but I don't know how long it will take to get it done to my satisfaction.

And I'm okay with that. My original goal was to have the entire 3-part thing written and completely done before publishing. Now, I may consider sharing before that goal is accomplished. Stay tuned.

Another Project: Stardew Valley

Something I learned incidentally (that I bet a bunch of other people have already learned before me, and here I am trying to reinvent the wheel of course) was that I actually needed another writing project to bounce back and forth between. Before this year, in between writing my ff8 fic, I wrote an entire Stardew Valley slow burn romance harvey/farmer fic, probably around 150k words. It was extremely cathartic and fun to write butttt I reread it now and cringe, hard, at my lil baby writing skills. I'll never delete it, because obviously it was another little baby hill I needed to climb. But as it is, it will never see the light of day lol. I keep having thoughts of how to completely rewrite this piece, but at the moment it's pretty vague. Not sure I'll ever return.

Instead, I was wildly inspired by @not-poignant's take on Alex, and feverishly wrote my first-ever Alex stuff, somewhere around 12k words. This is currently sitting on a back-burner, awaiting my soul-searching to decide what I really want from the piece.

What's Next?

My ff8 fic will always have precedence. But it's a mammoth. And due to the nature of the content, it is sometimes emotionally very difficult for me to write it. Sooooo it may be a while. That's okay with me.

In the meantime, I'm super excited that the first @ffviiicharacterweek is happening in January!!! It's given me an opportunity to write much shorter pieces that I never would have gotten around to. Hopefully I'll be able to participate fully and enjoy the works that come out of that.

Overall, it's been a damn good year for writing.

So anyway, if anyone has given this post the time of day, thanks for sticking it out to the end! I'm certainly open for chatting about any of this stuff, or if you just want to talk I'm up for that, too! I hope you have a joyous new year!

[rebeccathenaturalist]

Happy 2024, y'all! It's a sunny day here on the SW Washington coast, and I'm off to a slow, sleepy start after managing to stay up until midnight in spite of myself. I hope you all are having a good start to the shiny new year.

I thought this would a good moment to reflect on the accomplishments of 2023, and look forward to what 2024 might hold.

Last year was, well, a lot of good stuff! Here are a few highlights:

--In addition to keeping my regular roster of online and in-person classes for various community colleges and libraries, I added a few new teaching venues. By far my favorite was the Sitka Center for Art and Ecology, where I had a marvelous time teaching my two-day Nature Identification for the Everyday Naturalist class amid an incredible coastal forest (they're bringing me back this year, too!). I also got to teach in my hometown in Missouri, with a mushroom foraging class at Rolla Public Library and a lichen walk at the Ozark Rivers Audubon Nature Center, both of whom I hope to work with again in the future. And I would be remiss if I didn't mention the series of classes I taught for Wildcraft Studio School in Portland--I'm looking forward to my next round of classes with them for 2024!

--I launched my guided nature tours business, offering ecologically-focused walks and hikes throughout the Pacific Northwest. This was very much a year of "throw things at the wall and see what sticks." Both scheduled hikes and private bookings were successful, though sometimes people thought I only did one or the other, so it was a bit of a challenge getting the word out that nope--I offer both! I'm hoping to expand the scheduled hikes to more locations, since I primarily offered them in the Long Beach, WA area, and I'm hoping to get some private bookings in places I haven't had a chance to explore yet. I do have to say I had a lot of fun taking people out onto some of my favorite trails, as well as some new places, exploring all the amazing flora, fauna, and fungi we met along the way. Here's to more excuses to get outside in 2024!

--With the help of my amazing agent, Jane Dystel of Dystel, Goderich & Bourret LLC, I landed a contract with Ten Speed Press (a division of Penguin Random House) for my book The Everyday Naturalist: How to Identify Animals, Plants, and Fungi Wherever You Go. This is an opportunity well beyond anything I had imagined, and I am super excited for the book to be released in Summer 2025. I've already gotten some excellent editorial feedback to help me make this book the best it can be, and I'm looking forward to this continued journey as I kick off the new year with a big writing session.

--I kept up on my quarterly chapbook schedule, producing four new chapbooks in 2023. It's a lot of work, but people really seem to enjoy them, and I relish the opportunity to dive deeper into topics than I can do in a single article. Speaking of articles, I didn't quite keep up with writing one weekly on my website, but I did alright. And I also kept up a good roster of articles in my Rainy Rambles column for the Coast Weekend paper.

And that's really what I'd love to see in 2024:

--More opportunities to teach and reach new audiences who are interested in learning more about nature identification, foraging, and other natural history topics. Since I do a lot of online teaching, I have plenty of options outside of my local area. And as I make my twice-a-year peregrinations to Missouri, I'm planning to do some teaching along the way.

--More tours, please! 2023 was a really great start, and I had such a great time that I just want to increase the number of days I'm out on the trails with folks. I need to do more promotion, especially outside the Columbia-Pacific region, and really work on getting the word out. Some of that will be online, but there will also be some time spent out in the world, too. It can be a very time-consuming thing, but here's to those efforts paying off.

--I already need to have the manuscript for The Everyday Naturalist turned in this April (I'm going to aim for getting it done early, but we'll see.) A lot of the process beyond that will be out of my hands, other than edits and feedback. Still, this will be another thing that I want to make more people aware of, so you can expect me to keep chatting about book stuff all year. And, of course, I'll keep those article sand chapbooks coming for those of you who can't wait for 2025 to read my work.

--I have some other projects behind the scenes that I'm planning--keep your eyes peeled here for updates! (Or you can join my monthly email newsletter here.)

Wishing you all an excellent 2024!

[liviavanrouge]

14 Birthday Boy Vignette

Oz: Happy birthday, 14!

14: Thank you...it's kinda awesome to hear someone say that to me..I haven't really celebrated it much before due to..certain circumstances

14: But it feels nice to celebrate with people who I've come to cherish and care for, I'm actually looking forward to future birthdays if it means celebrating it with them all

14: Epel, Ortho, Livia, Jade, Azul .everyone, I'd like to continue celebrating this with them

Oz: What's the most memorable present you've gotten?

14: Ah...Jade gave me this books bout emotions, it's been really helpful to me in reading the room or identify what I'm currently feeling. He told me, "If you want to learn more then this book will be great for you to flip through." He was right of course, I learned quite a lot!

14: Jade has always looked out for me regarding my lack of connection with my emotions, so I was grateful he thought of me and gifted me that book, I have it on me right now, I was gonna read it during the party while everyone celebrated

Oz: Any gifts from family?

14: My big brother Sam let me meet some of his friends from the other side, they gave me lots of gifts, voodoo dolls, necklaces with cursed or protection spells and a book all about cursed spells

14: Sam, himself, gave me this necklace that tells me what I'm feeling if I'm unable to describe it or realize what it is at the time, I appreciate the thoughtfulness placed into the gift!

Oz: That's nice!

~~~

Part 2

Oz: Do you and your dormmates go way back?

14: No, I've been alone for a long time...I also lived in Jubilee Port with Sam, so I never met Azul or the rest of the crew growing up. I was lonely as a kid due to being out into solitary confinement not long after I was born...I never understood why but I grew up to be a Yes saying child

14: Sam and family came to get me after I turned nine years old and so I've been with them since then, I felt out of place still though but I gradually warmed up to everyone as time flew by and I'm grateful to have my Big brother...

Oz: What comes naturally to you at school?

14: Cursed things, I guess, I have an affinity for cursed things and identifying most of them. Besides I can't really avoid them at times because sometimes the cursed objects find their way to me and attach themselves to my body...

14: It's been happening since Sam and his family took me in, and I wear this bracelet to keep things from getting on me, it works a lot and has been widely helpful in keeping me safe

Oz: Oh...haha...I-I see..

~~~

Part 3

Oz: I see you're in the Mountain Lovers Club, what made you join?

14: Jade, in fact, he said being in open spaces might help so I signed up and to my surprise it did help! I felt a whirlwind of emotions I never thought I'd feel, Jade says it was called "excitement", and he showed me more areas

14: I also felt what you people call "freedom" it was spectacular! Jade takes me out whenever he has off days from the lounge and we roam around wherever the wind takes us or wherever he plans to go!

14: I also started a little garden of flowers we found, according to the plant book they're called Hibiscus flowers, and I absolutely love how colorful they are!

Oz: That's great! Good on you for finding a hobby

14: Haha! Thanks!

Oz: What's your favorite hobby?

14: Finding things, of course! I like to search for things people loose, it makes me feel useful and accomplished when I find the lost person's things. It also makes me feel good to see the relief on their face when it's returned to them..

14: Lilia came to me the other day and asked if I could find Livia's lost diary, I found it in half a minute turns out she left it underneath the tree at her favorite spot, he was so relieved when I returned it to him

14: Although he asked me if I read it, which surprised me because who'd go through someone's personal writing without permission like that, it's also one of my pet peeves, invasion of privacy, I don't tolerate that...

Oz: You have your priorities straight, buddy, good on you!

14: Hehe, thanks, and don't be afraid to ask me to find anything you loose, I'd be really happy to help!

Oz: Thanks for offer! Now let's wrap this party up, happy birthday again, 14!

----

14: *Smiles wide, Sam's arm wrapped around his neck as Jade handed him three packets of hibiscus flower seed packs along with extra flower pots*

[amaiguri]

heyy, happy last STS of the year!! it's hard coming up with an original end-of-year ask, so I'm just gonna shoot off a bunch of questions, and you feel free to answer whichever you want/haven't already:D are you satisfied with where you're at right now in your writing journey? where do you hope to be at this time next year? do you have any Must-Accomplish 2024 writing goals? anything new you'd like to try in your writing (technique-wise, story-wise, scheduling-wise, structure-wise, etc.) next year? any stories you'd like to start? end?

My Yssaia writing is a hobby so I try not to put time-based pressure on myself long-term -- only short-term goals. If I'm not writing, it's probably because I'm doing something else "productive" -- whether that is other hobbies, hanging out with friends, or focusing on my health! Obviously, at my job, all my writing is dictated by the needs of the project -- so of course, I want to keep up with those.

I am perfectly happy with where I am -- and I have worked really hard to ensure I am generally content with myself and love the journey. So, I am proud of my mindset, even if that, too, has more to go. I have written more words this year than almost any other that I have tracked. I have ACTUALLY made new friends, just like I've wanted -- now I just gotten deepen my relationship with all of them! And I have reached by 1k subscribers on YouTube -- now I just gotta get those 4000 watch hours for the passive income. And eventually, convince all those subscribers to buy my games someday 🥺🥺🥺

I have started to frame my hobby goals as "accomplishments that I have pre-emptively listed". This makes it feel like there are no minuses if I don't make it -- I am Enough as I am. Everything more is extra. So, I have nothing I must accomplish because existing happily in this economy? That's the biggest and most important thing I can do.

In my dream world, I would finish the rough draft of Yssaia's whole 300k+ word plot but that's not gonna happen with my continued focus on YouTube and a full time job and my attempt to focus on my friends. So, I will just try to get to 150k words in this most recent act by July 2024.

(If you don't know, Currently Untitled Yssaia Game is about world of fated heroes and abyssal machines -- born both of Kings and Philosophy --, in which a burned assassin girl must find new purpose when the War ends. Right now, it's a writing project but it'll eventually be a narrative-focused, hand-drawn adventure where you navigate an assassin through her delicate, brutal world after the War annexed her homeland. You'll delve deep into political dealings, your past trauma, and the Abyss beneath the world!)

((How's the marketing pitch? I'm still workshopping it!))

I would like to try to write every day again, cuz in CalmWriMo November, that did, in fact, improve my productivity without spiking my stress. It didn't happen in December but as we leave the holiday season, I want to pick it up again. And journalling or daily posting, lol, I already slipped on that again 😭😭😭 It's so healthy for me. It helps me see time pass. I just need to do it.

Thanks so much for asking about my goals/pre-listed accomplishments! I look forward to a post about your goals floating across my feed 🥰

[the-cryptographer]

friend asked me how i felt about what i'd accomplished with my writing in 2023. i felt a little caught off guard at the time but having thought about it more i'd like to record my general feelings for posterity. pros: - got into the habit of regularly doing writing sprints in the evenings. it's not always quick going, but I'm glad to have made it more of a routine and i think me posting every month-two months was probably possible bc of this. - finished seboteur! finishing a novel length project always feels great. - was particularly happy with getting to write so much morrigan this year. neither merr/morri dubcon or morri/m.amell daemon character study did well at the kudos game, but they were my favourite novellas of the year. - other things i enjoyed a lot were sigrun/orlesian warden ficlet, fenders watersports, and the precanon au about fenris escaping tevinter against his will. - think i've learned more about paragraph organisation for a better reading experience, and gotten more used to receiving critique and making more major edits to my work.

cons: - too much fenders and not enough merders. not that fenders is bad, but- if 2023 was the year of fenders, want to make 2024 the year of merders 😤 - in general def did not write as many ladies as i wanted 🤔 ngl feel like i def let myself get bummed that my favourite of my f/f and f/m work seems to, uh, be really far from what other fandom enjoyers of wimin want. i guess another 2024 goal is to let that get to me less 😤 - also disappointed I didn't finish my merrill as falon'din fic this year. the last chapter (plus epilogue) are pretty long so I see why I wasn't able to get it together. making this a plan for the beginning of 2024 tho. let's knock another novel length project out of the park! - jfc, lork, write for another fandom pls! or some original work at least! (i'm sorry the dao and da2 hyperfixation has me for the fourth year running)

[wowbright]

I would really like to forget about that whole thing that happened with my neurologist last week, but ... I've had three migraines since. Usually, I just try to deal with them the best I can and move on. I mean, there are certain things that I am unable to do while having a migraine, but I've gotten pretty good at the behavioral things like not focusing on the pain, not catastrophizing or thinking about when my next migraine will be or why I keep getting them or other stressful things. Just keeping a neutral attitude about the pain and so forth.

But that used to be easier because previous to this neurologist, I've generally felt like whoever was managing my headaches is trying to be my partner in improving my condition. Not this guy. Last week, I don't think I wrote about the part where he told me that "having 10 to 15 headaches a month is really good" compared to how I previously was. And that statement, on its own, is not a bad statement. Like, if it was followed up by, "but having that many headaches a month is still pretty disabling. So let's figure out if there are ways we can get that down further."

Or simply, "how are you doing with 10 to 15 migraine days a month? What would you like to be able to do that you currently have trouble doing?"

But he really just seemed uninterested in any of that. It was "this is good" full stop. He was willing to discuss additional/different treatments after I basically forced him to, but his attitude was still "this may or may not help, don't hold out too much hope, you should be happy with where you are."

And that's just bad doctoring. Yes, it's good to point out improvements. It's good to set realistic expectations. But there are so many treatments still that I haven't tried, or haven't tried in combination with my current treatments, and he's just like, "oh well," and also, "when you say '10 fucking migraines a month' you are using the word 'fuck' and that kind of language is unacceptable in my office" which also means "you aren't allowed to express the depth to which this condition affects you in my office" which comes off as "I don't care."

Like, does he know that after you have a migraine, postdrome effects like fatigue and cognitive impairments can last for one to two days? Which means that if I have 10 to 15 headache days a month, I'm experiencing some level of disability throughout most of the month?

30 years ago I had one appointment with a new primary care physician who had been assigned to me. She came in super late because she had been doing a stress test with a cardiac patient--she told me this as her excuse, it was before HIPAA. I don't remember what my particular health concerns were, though they probably did include migraine and maybe fatigue? Anyway, she told me I should be glad that I wasn't having heart problems and gave no helpful advice. She did give some unhelpful advice, though, which was "gardening doesn't count as exercise." Ummm ... She clearly had never seen me garden.

I never saw that doctor again. And I don't plan to see this neurologist again, if I can help it. I'm working to find somebody better for me.

But this interval.

I don't want his lack of helpfulness or hopefulness to rub off on me. Still, these last few migraines, the thought does occur to me that I do not have a trusted partner in managing them right now. Which honestly does make it harder for me to maintain a neutral attitude toward my migraine attacks. Because there's the idea now that I may never be able to find a better combination of treatments, because he's only willing to try one or two of the forty-plus possibilities, and what if the next doctor I find (a process that will take a while to accomplish because of waiting lists) has the same attitude and I need to switch to a different one, and go through the waiting list again, and ... I mean, I only have like three doctors in the system I can try.

BUT! In the fall I'll have the option of switching insurers next year. Which is hopeful, but no guarantee.

And it's a long wait.

So ... Idk. What do I need to do to get my neutral attitude back next time a migraine hits?

I hate being emotionally affected by other people's bullshit.

[fieryphrazes]

🎀, 💞, and 🕯️(the first one)!

a compliment on my writing - a lot of people have said very kind things that i carry in my heart, but for me, i think what really impresses me is that when i read things back i'm just... happy with them. for the most part i accomplish what i set out to do, and it feels real and true. that certainly was not always the case with my writing (and it probably won't always be going forward!) but i feel like i'm in a really sweet spot right now where my skills match up with my tastes, so my favorite thing to read really is something i have written for myself <3

the most important part of a story - the characters and the EMOTIONS!!! that's what it's all about!!! i've noticed that when i'm reccing/commenting on fic, i tend to talk about "character work." honestly i don't know where that phrase comes from, but to me it means deep exploration of an inner world... emotional, moral, existential. not every story has to have those things, but the really exceptional ones are, in my opinion, about characters getting better acquainted with their own emotions, above all else.

how engaging with tumblr/comments/kudos creates healthy fandom experiences - so there are a lot of different ways to experience fandom, obviously! it's only been in the last couple years that i would say i have a real fandom community, with personal relationships and regular engagement. and i have to say - i'm a fan. i absolutely wouldn't have written this much without the conversations and feedback i've gotten from people on tumblr & ao3. i've written more and i've written better, because i want to give people something they can enjoy and hopefully sink their teeth into. it feels very different from my early fic writing, which was fully about getting something off my own mind. valid! but i find the culture of comments/kudos/fic recs so much more fulfilling than the sort-of isolated way i was participating in fandom before <3 but i also think in order for those experiences to be healthy, it's important to curate your online experience, whether that's by blocking or blacklisting or simply choosing not to engage with things that don't make the experience better. and figuring out what those things are can be tricky.

also, correctly diagnosed as not having social anxiety lmao thank you for seeing me