#I'm still flabbergasted that they could have had a set up for a literal never ending goal of killing all the Untitled and didn't

[azol-otl]

Looking back on my experience reading rhato I'm still disappointed about one big thing.

(Yes, rhato made a ton of mistakes blah blah blah that's been talked to death since 2011)

But the thing I'm most disappointed in is that they never capitalized on that "Cheap Cheesy Saturday Morning Live Action Sequel to a B-Action Film" vibe it started with and force them into stupid shenanigans like chasing an Untitled to an American Idol-esque competition, joining it, only to realize on stage they never chose a group name before Kory goes to the mic and says, "We are.. Jason and the Pussycats".

[aurumacadicus]

You know what would be funny lmao

--

Tony hadn't been entirely enthused when Steve had showed up after a run with puppy eyes and said, "Just until his owners contact us? He's part husky, someone must be looking for him." He wasn't a dog-person. He was barely a person-person. But he'd conceded, since the dog was staying a finite amount of time, and Steve had promised to bathe it before letting it roam the apartment, and the dog turned out to be house trained already. He even got JARVIS scanning local social media to find its owners. It wouldn't be for long.

And then JARVIS had found a picture and gently informed them that 'Dodger's family had been among the casualties during the alien invasion and while he kept getting adopted, he also kept getting returned, because he kept running away.

"Oh," Steve had said, choked up, and Tony had miserably ordered a dog bed and monogrammed dishes. (He'd reached out to the owners' families, first, of course, but they'd admitted they didn't have the time or space for an escape artist dog that liked to run for hours.)

Dodger wasn't really so bad, though, Tony thought. Steve kept him very well exercised, and Dodger was a great running buddy because Steve never had to worry about tiring him out. He didn't get on the furniture unless they called for him. And sure, he was loud, but Tony found himself talking back to him as if he was a person, and Steve was apparently smitten about it, if Natasha was to be believed.

And, Tony couldn't help but think smugly, Dodger liked cuddling with him better. It was probably because Tony was around more (Steve still went on missions that could last for weeks, but he'd set up an account with a dog-walking service so Tony didn't have to worry about that either). When Steve was there, Tony tried to stay hands off, but when he was gone, he and Dodger got to sulk about it together, and it was a very uniting endeavor. So most nights Steve was gone, they'd lounge together on the couch, Tony watching old movies that didn't require too much attention and Dodger with his nose buried someplace a wet nose was particularly annoying, like on his stomach or the back of his neck.

"I'm home," Steve called, and then, "Really? Neither of you are coming to greet me?"

"You were supposed to be home three days ago," Tony grumped, not looking away from the TV. He'd told Dodger that he was giving Steve the cold shoulder yesterday, and Dodger had yelped back something sounding like 'woo woove woo,' which Tony had decided meant he agreed with him. He knew he'd break eventually, but he decided Steve had to work for it this time, especially because he hadn't wanted him to go undercover for a month anyway.

"Hydra was literally chasing me all over Sweden," Steve said, flabbergasted, as he finally came over to the couch. He frowned at Dodger. "This is no way to treat your main owner."

Dodger lifted his head, mouth opened in a grin, and let out a 'wowyow!'

"I'll remember this when you want to go out for a run with me tomorrow," Steve groused, then scowled at Tony. "And you too. I'm gonna leave him in while I run so he can just bother you."

"I'll cuddle him instead," Tony told him flatly.

Steve let out a wounded noise, then couldn't swallow back an amused huff, leaning over the couch. "Yeah, well, we'll see about that." He waited a beat to see if Tony would take the bait, but he'd been stewing over his safety for three days, so he got nothing. Sighing, he rolled his eyes and sat up a little, reaching out to lay a smack to Tony's ass, because he knew that, at least, would get a reaction.

Tony barely had time to jump in surprise before Dodger was up, barking at him. "Oh my god????"

"Dodger oh my fuck," Steve spluttered, rearing back with his hands up.

Dodger hunched over Tony's body protectively, still barking, loud, assertive noises that left them both absolutely gobsmacked. Finally, though, Tony came out of his shock and turned, wrapping his arms around Dodger in an effort to soothe him. "It's okay, sweetheart, Daddy was just trying to rile me up."

"It's not like he hasn't seen me smack your ass before," Steve exclaimed defensively.

"Maybe if you'd spanked me three days ago, he wouldn't be barking," Tony scoffed.

"Unbelievable. I didn't want to lead Hydra directly to my boyfriend and you're scolding me," Steve said in disbelief. Then he rolled his eyes and sighed, turning to head for the bedroom. "I'm going to shower. Maybe we'll both cool off."

"I'm fine," Tony said sternly.

Steve tossed an unamused frown over his shoulder. "I meant me and Dodger."

"You're both very anxious dogs," Tony agreed sympathetically, then squealed when Dodger shoved his cold nose against his throat, covering Steve's gleeful 'you deserve that!'

[bbygirl-aemond]

All the Laws Viserys Violated by Making Rhaenyra His Heir

Hi hi! I'm in the midst of writing a post about Otto's motivations throughout HotD and the portion about why Otto was so sure Alicent's sons would end up as heir when he pushed her to marry Viserys got wayyy too long so I'm just going to write it here.

I cannot emphasize enough how crazy it was that Viserys kept Rhaenyra as his heir. He has literally no law or precedent to back him up; every single possible precedent actually works against him. Full disclaimer, I genuinely think Rhae would make a good queen and support her over Aegon, but I don't think Viserys made her heir for the right reasons and I think because of the following he was setting her up for failure.

First, Westerosi laws of inheritance say that a woman cannot inherit if she has a trueborn brother. This has always been the case. Remember that as of right now Dorne is NOT a part of the Seven Kingdoms, so the Seven Kingdoms unanimous in its institution of male-based primogeniture. There is literally no region under Viserys's domain where a woman is allowed to inherit if she has any trueborn brothers. You'll never find any instances of a woman being made heir when she has surviving trueborn brothers. When we see women in power, like Jeyne Arryn or even Sansa Stark, it's always because they either have no brothers or their brother is occupied with another title. And honestly, in like half of these cases the title gets passed to a woman's uncle rather than going to her if she's the sole child.

Second, the Great Council of 101 set the precedent that even if a woman is the rightful heir to the Iron Throne, she should be passed over for a male. Rhaenys was Jaehaerys's heir according to Westerosi laws of inheritance as the only child of his previous heir, so she was even backed by the actual law and precedent. And the threat of war was dangerous enough that it forced the literal King of Westeros to concede matters of his personal inheritance and violate precedent just to pass over a woman. That's how sexist they are!!! They literally broke the law so that they could be MORE sexist!!

Third, Widow's Law specifically stipulates that it is not meant to be used to allow a woman to inherit over her trueborn brother. I know a lot of people think this law can actually be used to support Rhaenyra, but I think this ignores the context of the time. Remember, even though Alysanne wrote the law, Jaehaerys is the one who implemented it and is the only one who had the final say in its wording. And, as mentioned above, Jaehaerys straight up does not have the power to allow women to inherit, even when the law is backing him up. He's also a super misogynist and has proven unwilling to listen to Alysanne on feminist matters. So I'm not sure why people think he'd have the desire or the power to instate a law that says a daughter from a first marriage gets to inherit over a son from a second marriage. The lords would never allow something like that, because most of them use and discard their wives for the sole purpose of gaining male heirs and I guarantee there would be a moral panic about women getting too much power the same way there eventually was with Rhaenys and Rhaenyra. And not just the lords, but Jaehaerys would never allow something like that: They're all grade A misogynists, remember? That's why Widow's Law specifically placates the lords by assuring them that their precious eldest son can still inherit before even introducing the new law. Because Jaehaerys knew he wouldn't be supported if he said that women could inherit when they have trueborn brothers, so he made sure everyone knew he wasn't trying to do that.

So Viserys has 0 laws and precedents backing his decision, and 3 laws and precedents that his decision outright violates. And he keeps Rhaenyra as his heir anyways, out of guilt to Aemma. This is why I think Otto was genuinely flabbergasted by Viserys's decision; because he demonstrates remarkable awareness of the misogyny in Westeros and is fully aware that this WILL incite rebellion. He says it himself: It doesn't matter to the lords of Westeros how good or kind Rhaenyra is. They've demonstrated, time and time again, that they will not allow a woman to inherit a title, including the Iron Throne, if there are ANY trueborn male relatives available--AND that they have the power to force the King to let them decide his inheritance!

TLDR: Viserys really did Rhaenyra dirty. He made and kept her his heir out of guilt about Aemma, not out of love for Rhaenyra. And he did this knowing that it violated every single precedent or law relating to inheritance out there, and knowing that previous kings weren't able to uphold their female heirs, even when they had a stronger claim than Rhaenyra would have, because the lords threatened to start a war over it. And that's not even getting into how he completely failed to teach her about politics and did nothing to prepare her to become Queen.

This is also part of why people say it's not just about Rhaenyra's bastards. I fully agree that having them weakened her claim even further, but what you need to understand is that Rhaenyra was doomed from the start. She was doomed by the misogynistic laws, and by the misogynistic precedent, and by the misogynistic lords who never tried to hide that they'd start a war if a woman inherited the throne. And Viserys put that burden on her anyways, and put her and her children's lives in genuine danger, all so he could feel better about his decision to butcher his wife.

[learningfromlosing]

Omg??? So I have been terrified to work out because I just know that it's going to fucking hurt so bad because of my chronic pain but because of the pain I don't move around a lot and that makes it worse!!! And I've been on yt shorts and I just came across this guy who's doing like, beginner stuff for working out and when I saw it my ADHD ass was like oh my god that looks like something I'd do anyway when I have an energy burst?? And I tried it because it looked so low maintenance and I was SO SUS like NO WORKOUTS work for me I have always hated it and it hurts so bad and I want to be strong so bad like I was as a kid but I just lost it because of this pain. But this .. looks different like maybe I could do it it looks fun? And not hard? So I tried it and ???? It was fun? It was easy??? And i could ACTUALLY FEEL IT WORKING MY BODY and finally RELIEVING SOME OF THAT SHOULDER/NECK/AND BACK PAIN I CAN NEVER GET RID OF!!! it literally only took like 2/3 minutes because like hell fucking no I'm not going to be working out 10 FUCKING MINUTES no I can barely take my laundry to my bedroom. So I only did a few sets but it was so helpful I was flabbergasted . And I kept looking though his stuff...... Dude these are the easiest workouts I've ever done! I was like so ready to give up on the idea and try something else like yoga but it's like a mix of all of it! And it's SOOOO easy for me especially when I can barely hold my shoulders back on a good day and my posture needs a brace and it RELIEVES SO MUCH TENSION! I was maybe working out for like 15? Minutes? And that's like with lots of break baby I need to sit down for a second watch you do it and become comfortable with it. But still with all that in-between time and actually doing the workouts I was really getting my heart rate up and I could feel my muscles loosening up and I could feel the relief in my shoulders and neck and it was like I had a religious experience. I have never wanted to continue a work out I have never wanted to follow anyone on yt or anything that's doing that but this one is genuinely helping me and I'm ... Actually a little excited to try and do it everyday? To try and help me move around? And relieve so much of the pain I have and can't relieve without my medication right now.. And maybe even lose weight if I'm so brave? Become the strong person I was and have wanted to be? This is kind of super new for me like I'm 25 and I have really thought nothing was gonna get better for this because of my situation and it was just gonna get worse but.. this is so helpful.. I have fallen so far because of my illnesses and I have really not seen much hope for getting onto something that seems attainable and like could actually have a positive impact on my life. Something truly beginner that doesn't make me feel like I can't even do a beginner workout and give up. This is helping me so much and I'm honestly thankful for it. I actually.. think I want to try and do this more?

[forcebewitht]

i'm the same anon that requested the athletic MC for Leona!! if you'd allow me- can I give one or two more prompts? The first.. how is the entire Savanaclaw (or Heartslabyul) dorm gonna view MC after this?? because holy f u c k. The second is, I like to think Leona —and if not Leona then his entire fucking family would— just straight up asks MC if they'd marry him after hearing the story; MC says yes, that was the plan already, because they'd never risk THAT for someone they didn't wanna marry,,

Nice to see you again, anon! Glad that you asked such questions because I already had ideas on it!

Now, I'm sure one recalls the power that the deemed more.... I guess you could say "alpha" animals within a clan, whether it be hyenas, lions, whatever- would have over the rest of them? Yeah- the entirety of the Savanaclaw dorm is like t h a t. If they thought you were a weakling before, regardless of your gender, that sure as hell changed once Ruggie excitedly (and terrified) relayed the story of you literally SOARING through the air to stop their dorm leader from Overblotting like that. Like, I mean- if one of them dares to try and purposefully piss you off after that, you can guarantee that as least half of the dorm is gonna snap at them. They tried making you the vice dorm leader on the spot- but, what with Ramshackle and Grim and all, that conversation soon was cut incredibly short (RIP Ruggie's constant hard work-). Jack quietly seems to keep an eye on you after such events so as to protect you for his dorm leader, which you definitely would need in events to come with a certain aquatic dorm...

As for Heartslabyul, they had already seen your hidden power since you had taken down Ruggie when he Overblotted just before Leona- but this only solidified something...that you were truly not somebody to be messed with. Cater starts trying to ask what your workout routine is- and you have to stop him before he tries to post your feats from Leona's Overblot all over magicam. Oh yeah- he was recording. Are you kidding? Of course he was recording. You instead had to offer to do your usual leaps and soars in the cafeteria off of things instead to avoid him posting that. And- occasionally, some outside or around the various dorms. Trey genuinely.... doesn't seem to know how to react? Is it the shock? It's probably the shock. He'll just see you doing some stunts for a recording for Cater and just whisper "....And we're sure they don't have magic-" under his breath. Riddle, however, just solidifies the thought he had to experience firsthand about your abilities- you may not have magic, but that doesn't mean that you were helpless (like he might've thought originally). Deuce and yourself take up a little thing of going to work out pent up energy together...and you may or may not begin to show him how to do what you do to make him more self confident. Ace watches all the while, making his usual offhanded comments, but there's something about the glint in his eyes when he looks at you now that you know he doesn't view you the same now as he did before. Overall, the Heartslabyul dorm is just as shook as the Savanaclaw one- but theirs may be less out of a generalized respect and more out of genuine questioning now.

All Leona knows- and well....all he needs to know? His S.O. is now starting to become one of the most questioned and sought after people in the halls for their abilities. Does this boost his ego? Ohhhhhhh you surely bet it does. In fact, it boosts his ego SO much, HE is actually the one to set up some sort of call with his family just to brag about how awesome you are (TAKE THAT, FARENA)- not just to himself, but as a whole. Cheka cutely soon is heard piping up over the line something about "ARE AUNTIE AND UNCLE GONNA GET MARRIED?!?!" to which Leona was actually left flabbergasted for but a moment- but it was long enough for you to confirm the small lion cub's suspicions....but not right now. There were things to do still, after all.

Let's just say you didn't escape Leona's grip that night with a proclamation like that. ✨💕

[bokutosbabe]

Hey! It’s the same anon that asked about Iida, thank you for answering my question! While I personally disagree with your stance, I can definitely understand how he rubs you the wrong way with his hypocrisy. I actually used to hate him too, until a couple of fics on AO3 made me look at his motivations/reasons in a different light.

That does have me also wondering, do you have any other possibly controversial takes on MHA that you’ve never had the chance to share?

Hey anon! I understand how you feel about Iida and I think may look into his character to try and understand him a bit more!

Now what you actually came for!

airybcbyy 's controversial (?) MHA opinions!

CW; MHA SPOILERS!! and controversial opinions.

1; All Might

This man deserves a whole section to himself atp. I genuinely dislike all might's characters so much!!

Maybe it's just because I'm such a big izuku fan, but ever since the first episode it's always seemed like all might had seen izuku as a burden at first!

Of course as we know izuku wasn't the first pick that all might have had! But I do think that when you see a kid on a roof you should be heroic! Especially with him being the number one hero and you would assume that he would try and help seeing this distressed kid on a roof!

But no! He just leaves. And I guess you could say he had other motivations or other issues to go solve but to me it just seemed like a way of saying “you're on your own!” after this kid just poured his heart and soul out to you about how much he wishes he could help like you did. And of course all might of all people should understand how that felt, being quirkless himself at first!

I can say that his character has gotten better over the course of the anime/manga, but it's still not right with me you know? Like when his power finally diminished and he immediately pushed it onto izuku. Yes, I know you inherit the same quirk, but to me it's like-he's still a child? You have so many more pro heroes who are willing to fight this battle! Putting that emotional stress and turmoil on this kid was unnecessary!

I know OFA is definitely necessary to beat AFO but I personally don't see why izuku couldn't grow his quirk more before having that burden.

2; the Dabi reveal wasn't all that shocking

This one is a toss up for me to be honest, because I guess it was just all the foreshadowing that I just automatically assumed that dabi would be a todoroki- but at the same time it was so shocking to see how he revealed himself!

When one of your shows main characters is someone whose family is inherently meant to have fire powers, when you see a villain that has blue flames (the strongest type of flame) you can kind of attach them to each other, or at least I did.

Also with dabi being so set on taking down the hero society, I know many villains want to but his motivation would have been so clear if he was a todoroki! His father being the pos he is would give him a clear motive!

While I did expect him to reveal it to endeavor in person, I would never expect it to be like how Dabi's dance was! I would have expected the more you know close up and personal approach, like meeting him in a random alley and just saying it and then proceeding to burn him like he did in the manga, but doing it in the middle of a fight seemed so much more interesting to me!

Even though obviously the manga is on paper, it still showed so much emotion that flew throughout the pages and honestly it had me flabbergasted at the way that horikoshi's mind came up with how to have dabi's dance written out.

While Dabi is literally burning himself to the point where he will probably feel this physical pain so much more than he already does just to prove a point to his father and hurt shoto, while also asking endeavor to dance with him in hell?

It was pure genius!

3; The class 1-A kids would not be top heroes immediately if not for plot.

As we all know my hero academia literally follows the story of izuku becoming the number one hero, and yes while his quirk is amazing and he does train it properly, I just don't think he'd be number 1 so fast.

I've previously made a post that kind of went a little deeper into this and it was about how people say bakugo is most likely to be like number two hero after they graduate, but you have to recognize that most heroes don't get their own agency after they graduate, they have to start out as a sidekick.

And well yes all of the class 1-A student quirks are fairly amazing you also have to remember that they have the big three two years ahead of them, which would give them more time to build their own hero agencies and work their way up into the ranks before the 1A students are even involved in hero work!

Mirio as a third year is already considered to be the most likely to become the number one hero next, because he is number one in UA and he, even ranked up to the pro heroes, could easily beat out endeavor!

But as I stated earlier, this story isn't about how izuku works his way up, it is about how he becomes the number one hero, most likely implying that he graduates and just becomes the number one hero. Yes, while izuku will become the next symbol of peace, I just think that if it wasn't because he's the main character and because class 1a is like the main setting and the people that everyone wants to watch, those students wouldn't have a chance of making top 10 heroes, maybe not even top 20.

Heroes have to take time to grow and I think that if they weren't the main characters it would easily be Mirio at number one and a bunch of other heroes across Japan in the top rankings!

As we saw at the exam episode there are so many high schools that train heroes and all the kids had amazing quirks! If it simply weren't for the character development and to move the plot of the story along, I don't believe any of those children would have a chance at making top 10 immediately.

Those are just a few of my very controversial (?) Opinions that some people may not agree with but feel free to you know make your own assumptions and put your own opinions in on what I think!

[kdramabrainrotstation]

If KinnPorsche, The Devil Judge and Vincenzo existed in the same universe - A)I would combust and B) I think that Yo Han and to a degree, Ga On would be jealous of how physically close KinnPorsche are while KinnPorsche would be jealous of how 'emotionally' close Gahan are. And Vincenzo would be rolling his eyes in the background thinking why did God put me in the middle of these insufferable gays?

okay so a) 10000 percent right there with you anon. i think i smell smoke coming out my ears already just thinking about it hnnnn

and b) i have so many feelings and i'm going to try and condense them down and not give you a whole ass novel like i keep giving people lmfao

so the concept of these three things existing in one universe is actually not??? terribly??? impossible??? vincenzo is literally a part of the italian mafia and just a couple tweaks might put the cassano family after kinn rather than the group we get in the show--just...with less creepy gross comments from old mob bosses please.

there's also the alternative of kinn following his father's orders to work with vincenzo on dealing with yohan. could be they were hired by the chaebols to get the job done--we all know how loaded the lot of them are, and money is one of the fundamentals of the organized crime world. in a dystopia, i imagine the underworld is even more volatile, too.

but i'm not gonna get into all the details because that's a lot more kinks than i care to work out and i just want to talk about the stuff you mentioned for now. if i go off, you'll never get me back lmfaooo.

i think that vincenzo and kinn would get along surprisingly well. on some level, vincenzo would have some respect for kinn's boldness and his tendency to take matters into his own hands while at the same time still trying to operate as a responsible heir to the family. he gives off that same badass energy that vincenzo has too, plus the comedic aspect of being easily caught off guard by extremely simple things (see also: love interests doing ridiculous shit that leaves them flabbergasted).

porsche wouldn't like vincenzo at all. he might fancy him a bit of a badass, but unlike kinn, vincenzo doesn't relax as easily. in canon, vincenzo literally has to be dragged into group settings with everyone before he finally starts to unwind and accept that he's a part of their family. once he does, he's committed to them with his whole heart, but the difference between him and kinn is that kinn has an easier time relaxing even when he should be maintaining an appearance. porsche would not have warmed up to kinn as quickly as he had if not for how chill the guy was, regardless of if there was alcohol or tea involved lmao. but i digress--porsche would probably identify vincenzo as a coldhearted torture machine and be heavily against the operation he's being dragged along with kinn to help out on.

that said, i feel like porsche would be very protective of gaon. he can literally see the same naivete his own brother has in the way gaon views things, as well as the big heart gaon has that reminds him of porchay. if there's drama and second thoughts about how they're going to deal with yohan, it starts because porsche is trying to convince kinn to rethink their plan. if he winds up meeting/learning about elijah some way or another (with how protective yohan is of her, i doubt it), he'll be even more insistent.

and considering kinn is very aware of porsche's feelings about things (the torture scene in ep 3), he would begrudgingly give it some thought. on that same note, i feel like kinn would have some level of respect and admiration for yohan. depending on how deep in the tdj canon we are here and if the live courtroom is still a thing, i feel like kinn would appreciate and respect many of the verdicts yohan has come to in those cases. on top of that, yohan is a man who gets shit done, which is a trait kinn respects about vincenzo too.

on top of that, whether you headcanon yohan bisexual or gay, kinn would appreciate the representation. he seems to have a decently strong gaydar lol.

that said, i do agree with you that there would be some envy from both sides of those ships about the other. gaon and yohan are so very strongly emotionally invested in one another but so busy with what's going on during the course of the drama to actually do anything about it. it's obvious that you could cut the tension with a knife, but who has time for that right??? and kinn and porsche on the other hand have no issue getting handsy, close, talking intimately with one another. however, there are barriers keeping them from getting too emotional about it, and it makes perfect sense that they'd want a little of both worlds. it gets me in my feelings tbh.

and then there's vincenzo lmfao: the poor dude was just trying to do his job when these other people and all their feelings and attachments started happening, and depending on if any of the canon vincenzo storyline has happened, he might be forced to reevaluate things himself because now he too has attachments.

i know for sure he doesn't like porsche. they're probably at each other's throats constantly. and by that, i mean porsche says a little too much and gets incapacitated and kinn has to drag his unconscious ass out of the room and explain to him why he should stop risking his balls to argue with a member of the cassano family.

we already touched up on his opinion on kinn, but i also feel like vincenzo would have some level of respect for yohan. they wouldn't get along because yohan would probably already know he was a target and he simply doesn't trust like that, and vincenzo evaluates him as a target and keeps him at arms' length because he also knows yohan isn't just any old bullseye. there would be a mutual understanding that they're both businessmen and have work to do, but they wouldn't ever cross that line and allow much in the vein of friendship.

especially considering vincenzo likely can't stand gaon. gaon is a liability to yohan, and vincenzo can't for the life of him understand why yohan would keep him around with how reckless his emotions are. unless, of course, he's already gotten feelings for chayoung/hanseo (you decide lmfao) and not unlike kinn, understands the way yohan looks at gaon.

i definitely think that vincenzo would feel like he has his work cut out for him, but i also know they ain't leaving with a dead kang yohan as per their mission. if anything, kinn and porsche would have a greater understanding of what an emotional bond looks like through gaon and yohan and kinn and porsche would have done the drama equivalent of the "now KISS" meme to try and get them to just fuck about it already. while vincenzo tries to figure out what they're going to do about their failed mission when they get home or how they can make it look like they didn't fail.

but let's not talk like he doesn't get something out of all of this either. kinn, porsche, yohan, and gaon all have their redeeming and their frustrating qualities, but they all also have something to offer in terms of learning. vincenzo probably picks up a great deal of experience from the lot of them. as well as an appreciation for just how normal the plaza crew is compared to them lmfao.

i had fun with this. it still turned into a novel, whoops...

[vannybarber]

Prank Backfired

Summary: This idiot plays too much.

Christopher Jamal Evans x Black Reader

Warnings: cursing, weaponry, mentions of cheating, threats of christopher jamal evans' life.

Chris, the most mischievous man you know, decided to upgrade that status and play a prank on you. A stupid one might you add.

You walk through the door after a long day of work. Even though you loved what you did and it paid amazing money, it could drain the hell out of you. You set everything down and kick off your shoes in the hall, heading towards the couch and plopping down.

Chris comes through into the living room and identically plops down beside you. You slackly move over to kiss him.

"Hey bubba", you say, but before you could reach his lips, he quickly leans back with a hardened look on his face. Confused you lean back as well.

"Chris, what's wrong?" He takes a deep breath, which does not help your racing heartbeat whatsoever, and starts talking.

"I'm just gonna be straight with it. I've been seeing this girl, well sleeping with her, for a few weeks now."

If looks could kill, you'd be sentenced life without parole for murder in the first, second and third degree. But hearing his words had you feeling all types of emotions. Angry, hurt, confused, flabbergasted, scared even, just to name a few.

"It was eating me up inside and I just had to come out and say it. I couldn't hold it from you anymore." He was fiddling with his hands and not even looking at you. It was quite strange because if he had something important to tell you, he would always look you in the eye.

"Who is she? Do I know her?" Your leg is bouncing and you're cracking your knuckles trying to hold it together.

"It was that waitress from Durty Nelly's on Blackstone. When you went to the bathroom, she slipped me her number."

"That bleach blonde, trailer-park trash, cousin-fucking tramp with those ugly cut out shorts and uneven boobs?" Oh there was no way in hell he cheated on you with that. Something was up.

But then you remembered. You never went to that bathroom because ew. You were considering it and you got up only to make 2 steps before sitting back down. And that girl was 2 booths down from y'all. There was no way she 'slipped him her number'. This motherfucker was lying.

"Yep.." he bites both lips. "That's her. Look babe, I'm sorry. I truly am. I don't know what I was doing. You know I have a habit on hopping from one thing to another." The fucking nerve of this fool. He finally looks at you and he honestly deserves all his success because he's really pulling this prank off.

"Well, I don't really have anything to say to you right now. I'm just gonna get my shit and go. You cheat on me with the literal definition of vile and expect me to forgive you like that? I mean out of all the people in this world, Christopher."

Still playing into his prank, you get up and walk towards the bedroom. He follows suite, totally thinking he's the shit pulling one on you, but things were about to get interesting. You turn into the bedroom going straight for the closet.

"Listen Y/N, I don't want to lose you okay? I just can't seem to let go of her. She's addicting, if I'm being honest." You just shake your head and chuckle. If you didn't know this was a prank, he'd probably be in intensive care right now.

"Baby boy, that is fine. You don't gotta worry about me anymore."

You move around his duffle bag and your never ending boxes of shoes until you find the one box you're looking for. You pull out the Yatch Club Vans box and set it on the island in the closet.

"You know, I don't know how you could cheat on me. I mean, besides the fact that I'm literally the best person over, look at me. Look at this fine black queenyou got standing infront of you. This shape is unique and very much rare. It don't get no better than this, honey. That's a fact."

You open the box and stare at your Glock 19. Yes, you had a gun. No, he didn't know about it. But he was about to find out now. You pull it out and insert the magazine. In the process, you hear Chris very audibly gasp and you smirk to yourself.

"Y/N Y/MN Y/LN! What the hell are you doing with a gun?" He absentmindedly backs up out of fear, for you were a very unpredictable person that it was actually scary.

"At first it was just for safety. I learned how to use it and everything. But since my mans wants to go out and have an affair, don't you think we should end it with something for you to truly remember me by?" By the time you're done talking, the gun is loaded and ready to be used. Only you had it on safety, of course.

"Babe listen calm down. For real Y/N. Look okay I was just joking. It's-it's just a prank. I didn't cheat I swear!" He has his hands up like he's surrendering, but pushing you away. Probably because you have the gun pointing to him. Gosh, this was so fun.

"Yeah sure it is. You can't even lie right. Well, one of us isn't making it out alive and I'm sure it's the one without the gun." You evilly smile and move closer to him. You lowkey feel really bad because your puppy is legitimately scared out of his little mind.

"Baby please listen to me. I was just joking! I would never cheat on you. I mean look at you. Why would I want that walking Pacific Ocean when I have you? I would never hurt you like that. You gotta believe me. I promise, just put the gun down please."

You tried to hold on for a few more minutes, but he was near tears and it tugged at your soft heart. You lower the gun and take it back apart.

"That didn't feel so good did it? I knew it was a prank. I just wanted to get you back." You close the box and put it back in it's place. You turn to him with your hands on your hips.

"Y/N, that wasn't funny. Why would you do that?" He moves closer to you, now angry. But oh well.

"That feeling that you had in your chest, that anxiety and fear. That's what I was feeling when you told me you cheated. You know I have trust issues and that wasn't funny at all. I wanted you to feel the same way. Maybe I went too far, but it's a done deal now."

You brush past him and back into the room. When you get into it, he is right behind you and grabbing your arm.

"I'm honestly sorry okay. I was just messing around and I wasn't being considerate of your feelings. I didn't think it would affect you like this. I didn't mean to put you in that position." You smile at his apology, knowing he was truly sorry.

"I will admit, I went a little overboard, knowing full well it was a prank from the start. You're a smart man. You know what you got right here." You trail your hands down your body playfully and pose. He giggles and wraps his large biceps around you.

"I won't do this again. I promise." He leans down and connects your lips, finally giving you what you wanted since you stepped foot in the door. You pull back and look up at him.

"To redeem yourself, you can order me take out and grab that foot massager I just bought and get to work, peasant," you giggle out while he rubs your sides.

"Your wish is my command." He grovels at your feet.

"As it should." And with that you sashay away like that HBIC you were 💅🏾.

This scenario came up in my head this morning and I wrote all of it tonight. How great is that? Now I shall work on my Andy Barber fic 😌

masterlist

[i-am-a-closet-fanfic-fiend]

Relationship Stahl ~ Charlie Conway x Adam Banks

A/N: Hi all, I'm on my Mighty Ducks bullshit, so sorry not sorry. This is just for fun. It's postcanon - could be canon with the show. I don't specifically go against anything. But yeah. Enjoy this fic for a movie that came out over 25 years ago. *Posts fic and runs away*

Summary: Charlie and Adam are idiots. And they finally figure that out thanks to Charlie's pen pal.

Characters/Pairings: Charlie Conway/Adam Banks, Charlie Conway, Adam Banks, Connie Moreau, Guy Germaine, Fulton Reed, Gunnar Stahl

Rating: T

Word Count: 2800

Warnings: Language ( I think that's it)

^True love if I ever saw it ;)

Charlie grinned at his laptop as he fired off his enthusiastic response to the latest email from his pen pal before flipping open his phone. Instead of scrolling through his contacts, he dialed the number he knew by heart.

“I literally just dropped you off,” his best friend laughed when he picked up on the third ring.

“And I couldn’t bear to be without you,” Charlie quipped back.

“What do you want, Charlie?”

Adam’s voice was undeniably fond and it made Charlie’s stomach flutter.

“How do you feel about going to the Wilds game on Saturday?���

“How’d you swing those tickets?”

Charlie shrugged even though Adam couldn’t see him. “I know a guy. So are you in? We can grab drinks with some of the ducks afterwards.”

He could practically hear Adam shaking his head and it made Charlie’s smile widen. He knew what his answer would be.

“Yeah, I’m in. Of course I’m in. I’ll pick you up at 5?”

“Sounds good.”

“Are the other ducks coming?

“I’m gonna see who’s around.”

“Alright. Can’t wait. I’ll talk to you tomorrow?”

Charlie smiled at the question in his voice.

“Of course. I’ll call you after work.”

“Good night, Charlie.”

“Night. Banksy. Text me when you get home, alright?”

“Will do.”

Adam was wearing a Minnesota Wilds Jersey and a pair of tight-fitting jeans, when he knocked on the door of Charlie’s house.

He checked his watch. He was early.

He was always early.

Charlie probably wouldn’t be ready for another half hour, so he was surprised when the door swung open – at least until he saw Casey Conway’s smiling face.

“Adam, honey, how are you?” she cooed as she pulled him inside and into a tight hug.

“I’m great, Mrs. Conway. You’re looking lovely this evening.”

She swatted at him, but he saw her genuine smile. “Always a charmer.”

“How are you? How’s the diner?”

“I’m great. The diner is doing well. Business has really increased since we reopened after the renovations. We still have our regulars, but we’re getting more of a younger crowd too.”

“That’s awesome. And so well deserved.”

Adam could still remember when Charlie had sprinted into their college dorm room talking a mile a minute. He’d gleaned that there was a long lost uncle who’d passed and left his mother a rather large inheritance, and she was going to use that to buy out the diner that she’d been helping run for years.

Charlie had been so excited he’d nearly fell over because he forgot to breathe. Adam had spent the summer helping to paint and decorate the newly renovated diner.

“It’s been way too long since you’ve come over for dinner. Are you free next week?”

“Would Tuesday work?”

“Perfect. That’s my early night. And I’ll make your favorite pot pie.”

Adam grinned at the ceiling as he rocked back on his heels.

“You’re the best, Mrs. C.”

“Well, I won’t hold you up. I’m afraid I’ve already made Charlie late. I’ll see you Tuesday.”

“See you then.”

She gave him another quick hug before scurrying out the door.

Adam sighed as he checked his watch.

“Hey, Spazaway. Hurry up or we’re gonna be late!” he yelled up the stairs.

“I’m coming! Relax, cake-eater!”

There were several thumps as Charlie hopped on one foot to get his shoe on and then a slam of his bedroom door, but by the time he made it downstairs he looked perfectly disheveled in a cool way instead of a sloppy way. Classic Charlie. It’d be irritating if it wasn’t so attractive.

“Hey, Banksy. See, 5:15 right on time.”

“I told you I’d pick you up at 5,” he pointed out.

“Yeah, but we both know that at this point you tell me you’ll pick me up 30 minutes before we actually have to leave. So technically, I’m 15 minutes early,” Charlie grinned and slung an arm around his shoulder.

Adam huffed but couldn’t argue. Charlie was right. He’d learned a long time ago never to trust Charlie to be punctual, so he had started telling him earlier times in the hope that they’d actually arrive places before the events were over.

“It’s gonna be a great night.”

“Are any of the others coming?”

“Connie, Guy, and Fulton. Everyone else was busy.”

“That’ll be fun,” Adam admitted as he climbed into the car.

Secretly, he’d kind of been hoping that it would just be him and Charlie, but he shoved that thought away. It would be good to go out with some of his oldest friends.

“Yeah. It will.”

The five ducks were happily chatting and catching up, laden down with food as they waited for the game to start.

Guy was the first to notice the name after the national anthem.

“Do you think Stahl is the same one we faced from Iceland?”

“I don’t know,” Adam shrugged. “How common of a name do you think it is?”

“Remember when you had that massive crush on Gunnar, Charlie?” Connie teased before taking a sip of her soda.

“I didn’t have a crush on Gunnar.”

“You so did,” Fulton laughed, nudging. “How many hours did you spend watching tapes of his signature shot?”

“That was research,” Charlie insisted, though his cheeks were slightly pink.

“Yeah, you definitely needed to spend all that time on just Gunnar Stahl and not the rest of Iceland,” Guy faux agreed with an exaggerated wink.

Adam remained quiet. He remembered Charlie’s “not a crush” all too well. He wasn’t proud to admit it, but he’d been jealous at the time.

At first it had been, look at this shot. Or look at this play.

And then after the games it was, he’s so nice and cool. He called me ‘Captain Duck’.

Charlie hadn’t shut up about him until they were on the plane home and he promptly knocked out on Adam’s shoulder. Number ninety-nine didn’t have it in him to be jealous when he got to have a sleeping Charlie Conway on top of him.

Tuning back into the conversation after his quick jaunt down memory lane, Adam realized they were still ribbing Charlie.

“Okay, fine. I might have had a little crush on him. I was young. I was still figuring myself out,” Charlie admitted.

“Figures your first crush would be on a hockey player,” Fulton pointed out.

“Who said he was my first crush?”

Adam swore Charlie’s gaze darted to him, and he felt his cheeks heat up.

“Well you literally never talked about anybody else like that before him,” Guy said.

“Except Banks,” Fulton added.

The three of them looked at Adam and he knew he was bright red. They all knew he’d had a crush on Charlie when they were kids. And that he still sort of had a crush on him. He could kick Fulton right now, and he would have if Charlie wasn’t sitting in between them.

“I still talk about Banksy all the time.”

“I’m right here,” Adam finally managed to grumble.

Charlie grinned and nudged him with his shoulder, before throwing an arm around him.

“Are we really gonna sit here and argue over who I did or did not have a crush on twenty something years ago?”

“Yes.” The other three nodded emphatically.

Charlie rolled his eyes.

“Alright fine. Yes, I had a crush on him. But laugh all you want. You have that crush to thank for these seats,” Charlie reminded them smugly.

“What do you mean?” Adam choked out as the others gasped.

Charlie looked at the four flabbergasted ducks in confusion.

“Gunnar got me the tickets. I thought you guys knew.”

“We didn’t know that,” Guy nearly shouted.

“You kept in touch with him all these years?” Connie asked softly.

Their captain shrugged.

“We were pen pals. And now we email every few weeks.”

Adam’s heart clenched in something that felt a lot like jealousy – a lot like when he was 14. He turned his attention to the game, Stahl was on the ice. Adam couldn’t help but track his movements. It had been years since he moved like that. Another squeeze.

It was going to be a long night.

Charlie noticed the instant Adam went rigid, but he couldn’t understand why. After all, he was the one being teased for a 20 year old crush that only lasted for a minute.

He tried to nudge his best friend and get a response, but Adam’s eyes were glued to the game. That wouldn’t have worried Charlie, but the tight set of his jaw was nothing like his usual relaxed joy at the games. That was one of the reason Charlie had made it a point to go to as many hockey games with Adam as he could. He loved to observe him while he watched the game. But right now, his expression was stony.

When Gunnar managed a hat trick early in the third, Adam abruptly excused himself, saying he needed to go to the bathroom.

“What’s up with Banks?” Fulton voiced Charlie’s question aloud.

Charlie shrugged. “No clue.”

Connie rolled her eyes.

“Boys. He’s jealous.”

“Of what?”

“God, Charlie, are you that oblivious?”

His brow furrowed and he stared at her.

“What are you talking about?”

She huffed and shook her head.

“Nope. If you can’t figure it out after 25 years, you’re on your own.”

Adam was less grumpy, but still pretty sedate when he returned with only a few minutes left to go.

“You alright?” Charlie asked in a low voice as he settled back into his seat.

“Yeah. All good. Long line for the bathroom.”

Charlie didn’t believe him, but shrugged it off as the Wilds managed a late game comeback and beat the Anaheim Mighty Ducks and they were all on their feet cheering.

The five of them waited outside the side exit where the players would come out for Gunnar. The former Iceland captain signed a few autographs before he caught sight of Charlie and waved, flashing him a big smile.

“Good to see you, Captain Duck!” he shouted as he pulled Charlie into a tight hug.

“Good to see you too, Gunnar. Nice playing tonight.”

“Thank you.” Gunnar turned his attention to the rest of the Ducks. “It’s good to see you all too.”

There were various murmurs of agreement, before an awkward silence fell.

“Drinks?” Charlie finally suggested.

“Definitely.”

Drinks helped. Everyone loosened up by the second round. Even Adam, though he was not that talkative. He could see why Charlie would have kept in touch with the Icelander. He really was quite charming.

That did not help.

When Charlie stepped away from the table to get another pitcher, Gunnar slid into his vacated seat. Adam panicked for a moment. Guy and Connie were deep in conversation and Fulton had gone to the bathroom, it was just the two of them.

“You know, Captain Duck still never shuts up about you.”

“Still?” Adam asked, fixated on the word.

“At the Goodwill Games, when we spoke for the first time at the closing ceremony, Charlie wouldn’t stop raving about you. How he’d been worried about you being hurt. He even glared at Sanderson. And in his letters, he always talked about you. In every single one. I think I knew more about how you were doing than I did about him.”

“Sorry?”

Adam had no idea how to respond. Gunnar chuckled and shook his head.

“It’s sweet. I’m glad the two of you have made it this far. You’re a good pair.”

Adam’s jaw dropped and he floundered for an answer.

“Thanks?”

“Thanks what?”

Of course Guy chose that moment to resurface from his conversation.

“For saying I played well back in ’94,” Adam lied unconvincingly.

Charlie’s return halted the conversation, and Adam couldn’t help but think about what Gunnar had said. Why would Charlie be talking about him? Did Gunnar think they were together? Why did Gunnar think they were together?

His head was spinning. And it definitely wasn’t the alcohol. Per usual, it was all Charlie Conway’s fault.

Charlie was playing with the edge of his jersey when Adam pulled up to his house.

“Do you want to come in for a bit?” he offered.

“Yeah, sure,” Adam agreed.

“Oh. Okay. Cool.”

Charlie had been expecting him to bail. That was what Adam did when things got tense between them, so his easy agreement caught him off guard.

He pulled two beers from the fridge and took a moment to steel himself before rejoining Adam in the living room.

“It was a great game.”

“Yeah. Ducks were smart when they got Gunnar.”

“Definitely.”

“So, why didn’t you tell any of us that you were still talking to him?”

The former captain tried to gauge Adam’s mood, but he was surprisingly nonchalant.

“I didn’t really think about it. When we were writing actual letters, I’d get one maybe three times a year. So it just never came up. And then we started emailing and it was just something I did. It never seemed like a big deal.”

“So it’s not because you’ve been carrying a torch for him all these years?” Adam asked shyly.

The laughter that bubbled out of Charlie was loud and somewhat alarming.

“Of course not, Banksy. I mean, yes, I had a crush on him. For what seems like five seconds at this point in our lives. He’s just someone I liked to keep in touch with. Another person to talk hockey with. Honestly, I thought we’d last like two letters and then never talk again.”

“Have you seen him before?”

“No. Tonight’s the first time I’ve seen him since we left the games. This isn’t some big torrid affair I’ve been hiding. It’s a pen pal. Who got us tickets to a Wilds game.”

“That was pretty cool.”

“Are we good?”

Adam nodded. “We’re good. Sorry, it was just unexpected.”

“That’s fair. I really thought I had told you guys at some point over the years. Sorry I sprang it on you… unintentionally.”

“No worries.”

It was comfortable for a bit. Charlie put on ESPN and they caught the highlights from the other games that had been played. Somehow he ended up leaning heavily into Adam’s side.

“Was he your first?” He asked as the commentators went over the same play for the third time.

“Was who my first what?” Charlie asked, letting his head loll to the side so he could look at Adam without pulling away.

“Was Gunnar your first crush?”

It came out in a sigh.

“No. He wasn’t.”

“Who was it?”

“Guess.”

“Charlie.”

“I’m serious. Guess. I’ll even give you 5 questions to try and figure it out.”

Charlie wasn’t going to admit it without a fight, and Adam knew it. Curiosity got the better of him.

“Fine. Was your first crush a hockey player?”

“Yes.”

“Someone on our team?”

Charlie nodded, sitting up so he could watch him more closely.

“Boy or girl?”

“Boy.”

“Peewees or Goodwill Games?”

“Met him in Peewees. Realized I had a crush on him during the Goodwill Games.”

“Did he go to Eden Hall?”

“Yes. I even roomed with him at one point. That’s five. Time to guess.”

He was certain he’d know now.

“Fulton?” Adam asked innocently.

Charlie hung his head.

“You cannot possibly be this obtuse, Banksy.”

“What? You met him in Peewees, he was with us at the games and at Eden hall and you roomed with him sophomore year.”

“Christ,” he huffed. “It’s you, Banksy. Not Fulton. God, definitely not Fulton. He’s like my brother. It’s you.”

“Me? You had a crush on me?”

“I mean, can you call it a crush if it lasts 25 years?”

Adam’s jaw hit the floor.

“You still have a crush on me?” His voice was small, so much like that 10 year old who’d been forced to leave the Hawks. But there was hope.

Charlie, momentarily panicked before resigning himself to his fate. It had to come out.

“No, Adam. I don’t have a crush on you now.”

His best friend deflated slightly.

“I’m in love with you now. I have been for as long as I can remember. Even if I didn’t realize it. And I know you probably don’t feel the same way –“

“I do. Feel the same way. God, Charlie. I’ve been in love with you for ages.”

“Seriously?”

Adam nodded once, resolutely before Charlie’s lips were on his.

The kiss was quick and hungry and it left them both wanting more.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Charlie demanded in a whisper as he pulled back, touching their foreheads together.

“Why didn’t you?” Adam sniped back.

“Touche. God so much lost time.”

“We didn’t lose anything, Charlie. We were together. That’s never a loss.”

“I love you, Banksy.”

“I love you too, Charlie.”

A/N: Yeah so I love them. I hope you enjoyed this. I stand by my theory that Charlie had a brief infatuation with Gunnar Stahl. Thanks for reading!

[helloliriels]

Prompt #2: Allergies

February 2021 Johnlock prompt challenge, hosted by @ohlooktheresabee. Daily entry by 🐝 @helloliriels🐝 *** 🐝🐝🐝 Gonna have to cheat on this one, down sick, but since bees & allergies go together, here it is. Enjoy! 🐝🐝🐝 ***

Do Bees Kiss? or just Sting? 

Q: Do bees "kiss"?

             Why do bees "kiss"?  I went to Wikipedia.

A: When bees "kiss" they are actually passing nectar to other bees.

*******************************************

Sherlock kisses John.

It was early morning. And John was getting ready for work.

Sherlock bloody Holmes of course, pays no attention to people's privacy or morning routines, and can't be bothered to explain why he's standing in John's way as he makes his toast and goes about his business...  but there he is. Every place John needs to be. Waiting for something.

John is just about done and ready to head out the door - No thanks to Sherlock for making him late again - when he gets the shock of his life.

Sherlock kisses him.

A small peck on the lips. Almost chaste. Like those kisses you give to your crush in kindergarten. Or to your mum. When she insists.

John thinks it's an experiment. He knows it is. 

It must be. 

He gives Sherlock a 'you done now?' look, then goes around him when he gets no reply. 

Sherlock heads off to do his own morning routine. John sighs. Dropping the butter knife in the sink with a loud clank. Exasperated. He doesn't have time for this shit. 

Why do I bloody put up with it? 

He fumbles with his keys and jacket. Noting now that the genius has decided to get OUT of his GOD damn way of course, he is twice as late!!

He heads out the door in a rush. Slamming it, just a little in revenge on the way out.

***

Talking to Greg later that evening - around the corner from a crime scene where Sherlock is currently arguing with Anderson - he tells him about it off-hand. Confession of a sort. Get it off his mind. Greg will think it's damn funny.  "Pompous git, gave me a kiss earlier..."

"Wha???!!!....," Greg mouths a mock 'O' in awe as he turns to look at John, eyes wide in amazement...  a look that fully says, 'finally! It's going down!'

"I know right?" Playing it up, John laughs it off. Great joke. Were not a couple! He shrugs.

"What else happened?? What did he say?" Greg was dying to know now, taking his hands out and shaking John for more details. The man wanted details?! John could see this was the happiest moment of Papa Lestrade's life. It was almost a bummer to have to disappoint him...

         🐝   ***REST UNDER THE CUT***   🐝

"No, no, nothing like that." John reassured, "God I wish!" (It came out before he had time to stop himself). And Lestrade looked taken aback.

He added a little "Haha," like he had meant it as a joke after all.

He really didn't.

         Sobering thought.

Thinking better to explain himself, he added - "Hey, don't tell Sherlock I just said that?... by the way. Bit not good. It was just an experiment after all, I'm sure. You know how he is."

Greg was still just... flabbergasted. A balloon deflating. Open mouthed staring at John. No words.

John's half sad-smile said more than he probably intended. Shouldn't have mentioned it after all, he thought. "Well!" He added cheerfully, slapping Greg on the shoulder. "Was a fun case tonight. Sherlock will be happy. Solved it in under 5 minutes!" He prepared to leave, and shot off a parting, "See you round." With a half-smile. He bowed his head and walked off to follow Sherlock who was now leaving. John had his hands in his pockets now. Quite unlike him. Shuffling along. 

Greg watched as John kicked some debris in his path in frustration, mindlessly, as they left. He had never seen the man looking so downtrodden...  

At least, not after such a brilliantly resolved case! John was usually on cloud nine after watching the curly haired genius work. It was rather embarrassing really. The puppy eyes that looked up in worship at Sherlock as he dished out deductions, it was almost criminal. But lately he was getting more and more moody... Greg wondered.

And here, with this new evidence, Sherlock had managed to...   He stopped. Shaking his head. Unbelievable. Just unbelievable...

Greg took one last look over his shoulder at their retreating forms, before heading out himself. 

 "Unbelievable."

*** 

The week goes on.                       

Sherlock continues to kiss him, Randomly. Small pecks mostly. But sometimes a smooch. Nothing more. No explanations. Just kisses.

Experiment.

Must be. John kept telling himself.

Experiments require further data. It was the only possible explanation...

Sherlock had never shown any signs of wanting... relationship in his life. Mister 'girlfriends aren't his area' and 'married to his work', and... 'alone protects me'...  had never expressed any interest in any men either (that John knew of?). Hell, he'd even turned down some of the most bloody gorgeous ones they had met so far, both men and women. So John doubted that he was interested in that sort of thing. Some people just aren't.

The only really odd thing about it, is - Sherlock isn't saying anything to address the kisses.... 

It must be like having toes on the kitchen table, to him. John thought. A dummy hanging itself from their rafters. Or penicillin growing in the bread box. I'm just a thing. A dummy for this latest experiment.

At that last thought, a realization dawned on John. A horrifying, terrible realization. How had he not seen it sooner?!

Was Sherlock going to break out some rare dye, or some insane chemical powder he'd concocted - to dust and test John's lips for lip prints left at a crime scene next?? John could just see himself going to work with purple lips and a chemical burn that would take weeks to heal. Perhaps even suffering an allergic reaction...

All because Sherlock did not realize the exotic stuff would not COME OFF!!! and was actually quite dangerous.

He pinches the bridge of his nose at the thought. Exasperated. 

His brain hurts now. 

    This was happening a lot lately. 

The thought of what he was going to be subjected to next....the worry. Was almost worst. Well, it is worse - than the kisses, John thinks.

The kisses. 

Damn. Need to stop thinking about this.

John did his best to push it out of his mind. Not wishing to upset the equilibrium of their friendship. Crazy as it might be right now. At least this is one way, he was getting what he wanted? Or something like it. Gift horse and all. One doesn't ask...

He is tempted to ask however, about how you would go about setting up a mind palace? Just so he could keep the memories locked forever away in there to return to. But that would be more than telling.

So he just closes his eyes most of the time, when he knows it's going to happen; and stores it in the best way he knows how. Memorization. Skills learnt in public school. Repetition. 

Sherlock was certainly giving him that. 

John smiles despite himself. He gives it about a week before the worst will come out.

           He isn't wrong.

***

The height of ridiculousness comes one morning, almost exactly a week later. 

John is there in the kitchen, fork in hand - eating his breakfast, and reading the paper out of the corner of his eye. Completely non-plussed, while Sherlock continues to dive in for a small kiss. Between. Every. Single. Bite. The paper rattles a bit each time. 

John isn't even looking at him anymore.

Or acknowledging that this is happening.

At all.

He's got his back to the cabinets, facing out. And his slippered foot keeps tapping away.

Sherlock, as anyone watching would have seen - was acting as childishly as could be imagined. Not unlike when you see two kids who won't stop hitting one another, while say 'I'm not hitting you". If he hadn't been the recipient of it, John might have thought it was quite funny.

He wasn't sure how long this was going to go on. And clearly had decided to take the saint's role and be above it all; when Sherlock dives in for one more kiss. 

This time, he presses in deep, and opens his mouth a little. Holding it there. Breathing his air. 

  Waiting.

  Watching with a perplexed furrow of his brow,

                  for John's reaction.

Oh god. John thinks. Feeling the warm breath, and the warmer lips pressed up against his own.

What is now a very REAL, albeit awkward, kiss.

Sherlock does not have much experience in this area, after all.

John's breathing stops. He swallows hard. Tries to remember not to drop his fork.

His heart has just jumped out of his chest. And is now screaming at him. Pumping and pulsing like it's running a marathon. And his eyes scan around the room, as if someone might materialize from thin air, who could help, or at least explain all of THIS to him?!!!

     ...WHat the HeLL wAs GoiNg On??!!!

Lips still connected, breath shared, he looks up at Sherlock at last. Unable, really to avoid it at this point. He makes eye contact. 

His eyes full of fear, his eyebrows raised in question.

And showing... Honestly showing something else entirely, he hadn't meant to show at all.

Longing.

He looks like he is about to cry. He is about to cry. This. THIS. Is too much.

Sherlock can't have THIS from him. Not without a relationship. 

He pulls away. And turns his head, his lips out of reach. Closing his eyes. His signal, that he is DONE.

Done with this bloody experiment. Done with his stupid, unfeeling, selfish flatmate. Just done.

***

He feels, more than sees, Sherlock grin his way out of the kiss. Backing off just the slightest bit. But still not going away. 

When he looks back a few moments later, having calmed down his own breathing. And collected his feelings. Sherlock is still standing there. Looking down at him. A wicked grin on his face. At that look, John is stunned. Has this all been a JOKE to the man?!! 

He has only a moment to think before Sherlock's lips are on his again.

John drops everything this time. Throws, more like. Literally - newspaper, plate, fork, all of it - down. And pulls down on Sherlock's neck, forcibly dragging him closer. If Sherlock wants to kiss, then GOD DAMN IT, he is going to get fucking KISSED! And John releases everything that has been pent up inside of him, all week. All month. All of the years he has known and been in love, with Sherlock Holmes.

Sherlock was now holding onto him also, arms wrapping around his middle. Keeping him upright, somehow. While John was snogging him senseless.

That should teach him. John thinks as he pulls away. Completely out of breath and panting with the exertion he had just enforced. And glares up at his flatmate. Absolute daggers.

But Sherlock...  is now blushing, and looking pleased as punch. The response John sees, is also the kindest, and gentlest look in his eyes.

More love than he has ever dared to hope for from anyone, let alone, from his companion. More love than John thought the man standing before him, was capable of feeling. 

Contrary to everything Sherlock had tried to tell everyone, loudly, since the day John had met him. This was Sherlock being human. 

And it was all for him.

It was like a wall had come down. And the great genius' emotions were laid bare - exposed before John, for what they really were. Insecurity. Inexperience. He was offering himself up as a gift to be taken. A student to be taught. And John had... Oh.

Oh.

John blushes. He had just taught. Hadn't he?

Sherlock smiled. Glad to see John finally catching up. A puzzle at last, solved. 

A sweet little shrug of, forgive me? but this was the only way I know how... accompanied his smile. And John found himself laughing with relief at the expression. Giddy with it.

He pulled Sherlock back in to himself, gently this time. And gave him more of a sweet, first-date kiss.

With Sherlock's permission, it deepened it into a full, gorgeous, lovers kiss - His hand gripped tight in the expensive fabric of Sherlock's shirt, to keep him in place. Buttons be damned.

This kiss was;

Full of all the things John had wanted to say; 

Full of all the things Sherlock had been trying to say;

Full of all the things they had both held back for so long.

When it ended, John felt Sherlock lick a tiny bit of honey off of the corner of his mouth. Humming as he did so.

A little like a buzz.

🐝🍯🐝 Not unlike a bee.🐝🍯🐝

John shivered in anticipation. As Sherlock led the way...

If this was what loving Sherlock Holmes was going to be like... Watson smiled, then sign him up as beekeeper.

***************************************

posted on AO3 by helloliriels

More great fics and daily updates under the February 2021 Johnlock prompt challenge from ohlooktheresabee on AO3

[ineedrelationshipadvice]

Hi, I have a maybe strange problem - I keep having the urge to check the social media of my boyfriend's ex. This is not a jealousy/suspicion thing. For context, she was abusive towards him. I think I am trying to understand how someone can be like this. I have resisted for many months by rationalising that it's unhealthy and a waste of time, but the urge itself persists. How can I stop this urge? I'm not sure exactly why it exists. Thanks :)

I think this is a normal interaction. Is it healthy? That's a good question. Is it a waste of time? Most definitely. But I don't think this is an inherently bad thing that you're doing.

You're in a unique scenario. You are with your partner, you probably think they're pretty awesome, and you've probably heard quite a number of really awful things that this person has done. If this is the first time you've heard of someone being abusive to someone in your immediately sphere of influence, or if this is the worst example of it that you've seen in your personal life, it can be a bit shocking and confusing. How can someone have been SO HORRIBLE to someone I care about so much? Lots of thoughts can run through your head. Is it something my boyfriend did that made her act that way, and maybe I'm missing a red flag? Is she just that horrible of a person in general? If so, what made her so horrible? What is a red flag that I can look for in her behavior so I can see abusive behavior from people in my life in the future?

You said the right word in your message: rationalizing. This is you attempting to rationalize how an abuser can continue on in their life despite the terrible things they've done. You're trying to rationalize how this was even possible. And that's fine, because it means you're thinking critically. And I think everyone does this from time to time when they see something so GALLING that they just can't understand; your brain goes brrr at the very concept about how awful something is.

How can you stop the urge? Again, I don't think there's inherently anything WRONG with scratching this itch. You're not doing anything as long as you're not harassing anyone; if you're just looking on from afar and studying this like a zoologist of abusive exes, then that's not a bad thing. Just make sure you stay uninvolved and don't interact with this ex, and also don't talk about it at all with your partner, because they should have no more contact beyond anything he personally wants to engage in.

That being said, if you believe that your obsessive tendencies to analyze this ex is becoming problematic, then yeah, it's probably best to stop. How do you recognize if you've gone too far?

Are you losing sleep over this? If so, stop.

Are you becoming angry or frustrated over things she is doing? If so, stop.

Is this affecting your mood any time you engage with her? If so, stop.

Do you have better things to do? If so, stop, at least until you're finished with those things.

Another thing you can do is considering writing a small essay for yourself about their behavior, and what you've learned. It's fine to rationalize things in your head. But putting that shit on paper and properly trying to logic the whole thing out can help you put some finality to the "research" you've been doing, and what you've actually learned from the whole thing.

If you want to continue this analysis, just make sure you're setting limits upon yourself. It's fine to be curious, but don't devote time to this stupid person. Because you're a busy bee, and have plenty of things that are way more important to worry about that are not a crappy person from your partner's past. But again, don't feel weird for trying to rationalize things as you're doing.

To show you how to write an essay about your experiences analyzing someone, to show you that what you're doing isn't actually that strange, and mostly for my own selfishness, I'm going to write a brief essay below about a time where I did exactly what you are doing to someone who affected me in a similar way. You don't have to read it if you don't want, but it can show you how obsessive I got over it, and also is an example of how trying to force that shit into words through summary and recollection can help you put the situation to rest so you can move on with your life.

_________

An example from my own life. I wanted to teach in Japan. I applied for the program that would allow me to do so, and almost got in, but I eventually got turned down. I then heard, a year later, that a random person got into the same program, at the time when I would've been hired. They were kicked out of the program summarily after. Why? How did they get into a program I really wanted to get into, yet I didn’t and they did; furthermore, how were they KICKED OUT of the prestigious program I wanted to be apart of? How could they have been so irresponsible?

Turns out that they had extreme schizophrenia and BPD (two major health conditions that are supposed to be taken into account when applying for the program), and while in Japan working at their elementary school, they decided to go off their meds. When they went off their meds, they decided they had a crush on a co-worker, and started dating them. They got into an argument one day, and it upset her. She decided to go to her partner’s house and sit on the porch until he made up with her. He obviously found out about this after he got off of work, and noped the fuck out of there, because he was being actively stalked at his home. The police were called, and the girl called the police "fascists" and accused them of being "pedophiles" and "raping her" because she was sitting in a manner where her full-ass pussy was exposed because she wasn't wearing underwear under her skirt (you can't make this shit up). Obviously, the cops called her job, and she got deported.

I was aghast. Here I am, imminently qualified for this job, but she got it instead, despite her health conditions. Then, not only was she irresponsible in the position, but she literally stalked someone, got reported to police, lost her job, and deported from the country. How could I not get this job but she could? What did she do right that I didn't, because everything I'm seeing, she did many obvious things very wrong.

So, like you, I irrationally followed her on social media. Instead of going home to USA (where apparently her family had disowned her), she went from Japan to Russia, making her way to Moscow, and then to central Europe where she apparently had some friends. This led her to Germany, where she got in trouble with the police for illegal substances and being intoxicated in public. She bounced from Germany to The Netherlands, where she found a place to live. Stayed there a bit, getting high on all manner of drugs, until she apparently got kicked out of her friend's place. She lived homeless for awhile, until the police picked her up, and sent her to a sanatorium. She claimed she was being unlawfully held against her will, even though she was literally ranting and raving on social media about all manner of racist, homophobic, and sexist shit, pooping on the floor, refusing to wear clothing or cooperate with the doctors, clearly off her meds, completely lost to the world, only occasionally having lucid moments during 12+ hour livestreams from her sanatorium.

She was eventually let out and deported, but this time she was forced to go back to her home in Georgia, USA. She was told to report to the local police department, and then to the doctor to renew her medication (which the sanatorium prescribed her). She got to the USA, threw her medication in the trash (she had apparently been faking taking the medication for some time), and went to her friend's house in Atlanta. There, she got in a fight, and got kicked out. She was homeless for a long time, but instead of letting that get her down, she was screaming racist things at black people in the public parks, and somehow attended MomoCon even though she said she was broke and had no money??? She got taken to another sanatorium at some point, was eventually released, and then somehow got inducted into a master's program at the local university (even though she still had no home or money). And that's where I last checked in on her.

What did I learn from that fuckin' wild story? Because you probably lost the point somewhere halfway through, as did I. The reason I got so obsessive about this chick is because I was upset that she got a job and I didn't. So through all that rationalizing I did what did I actually LEARN? 

Well, I learned that she's crazy, obviously. And I learned that I was jealous of her for getting the job I thought I deserved, and was watching her ongoing failures in some weird manner of spite. And I was also just flabbergasted, because it was like watching a trainwreck, and I couldn't look away, because I've never seen someone like her bounce around between so many crazy adventures, failing every step along the way, and still somehow succeeding? And how did she get all these prestigious decisions despite being homeless, off her meds, and doing terrible things? Likely because she lied about her qualifications and never got caught in her lies. It was a time.

[araminthe-ispwitch]

I'm in love with a fairytale

Chapters: 1/1

Fandom: Yuri on Ice

Rating: K+

Pairing/s: past-Georgi Popovich/Anya

Summary:

Once upon a time, there was a man named Georgi Popovich. Somehow, his story is trying to compete for the title of "Greatest Romantic Tragicomedy of All Time."

Alright, here we go, my late birthday fic for my stupid emo son! (Still can't believe they made his b-day the 26th.)

As I've mentioned in The Accursed Tale of Viktor Nikiforov, Georgi's oneshot is the literal side of the song "Fairytale" by Alexander Rybak (y'all should really watch his live performance of this seriously you won't regret that handsome man). Whereas I've waxed lyrical on the life that Viktor had to choose for the career he has taken, I've... uh... pretty much just did a short play on Georgi and the disaster that was his love life during the anime.

But no worries. Remember that woman he went on a date with in Ep. 10? :D

Cross-posted in: AO3 (don’t bother with the FFNet version because FFNet rejects songfics so I had to edit out this poetic fiction of mine there—but as if that’ll make me stop writing them because of the music industries’ logic)

Important Stuff to Note: 1) This is a song fic, in which I've closely followed the lyrics to portray Georgi's life. Which means you really should watch/listen to "Fairytale" by Alexander Rybak. (not just because it's the greatest song of 2009 what are talking about)

2) Envision the structure and flow of this fic as an AMV about Georgi. Makes better sense considering how short this is compared to Viktor's oneshot, right?

3) Those lines centered, bolded, and italicized all together are the lyrics... and other stuff. ;D

4) A lot of short flashbacks in here, too.

5) This is not my usual writing style, oh no. But nevertheless, hope you enjoy and appreciate this minimalist approach I did for this oneshot.

6) Did you listen to the song yet? :v

I'm in love with a fairytale

Part 2 of the Two Sides of a Fairytale series

Once upon a time, there was a little boy who dreamed of romance.

He dreamed so hard.

Like, really, so damn hard.

All his life.

Oh, god, this boy...

Years ago, when I was younger

I kinda liked a girl I knew

Georgi adjusted his collar for the fifteenth time, straightening the lapels as he stood in front of his floor-length mirror. Everything must be perfect today.

It was just another date with his beloved, most precious Anya—their 13th date, actually!—but everything must still be perfect.

Georgi Popovich wouldn’t settle for anything less when it came to his one true love.

She was mine and we were sweethearts

That was then, but then it’s true

Georgi’s jaw fell and so did the bouquet he bought on the way to his date.

His Anya—his precious, most beautiful Anya—was in the arms of an interloper!

This cannot bE—

“ANYA! GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY ANYA!”

He was about to hit the stranger where it really hurts, but then suddenly, his angelic Anya—

“Let go, you idiot!"

Three seconds on the leaf-covered ground later, Georgi looked up at his girlfriend with a flabbergasted look on his slapped face.

“A-Anya, my love, why are you—!”

“We’re through, Georgi.”

I’m in love with a fairytale

Even though it hurts

Georgi stared at his fallen bouquet. It hadn’t been trampled in the wake of the chaos that happened in the last few minutes, but Anya might as well have trampled on them the same way she trampled on his tender heart.

‘Cause I don’t care if I lose my mind

I’m already cursed

“ANYA, NO! IT CAN’T BE TRUE! WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE’S BETTER THAN ME?!”

Every day we started fighting

Every night, we fell in love

Groaning, Georgi crossed out Procedure Number 16 on his list. He looked back at the tabs of articles open on his laptop as he repositioned the ice pack on his head.

Surely there was a way to get Anya back? She couldn’t possibly be satisfied with that oaf!

There must be a way.

No one else could make me sadder

But no one else could lift me high above

“Anya, my love, I—!”

“SECURITY!”

I don’t know what I was doing

When suddenly, we fell apart

“His theme is what?”

“Coach, don’t you think he’s getting way into this…?”

Georgi ignored the others as he repeated his routine on the rink. He knew they were all watching him and pitying him—largely because he’s been crying non-stop while practicing—but he won’t let their opinions get to him.

He’ll show that wretched woman!

Nowadays, I cannot find her

But when I do, we’ll get a brand new start

Georgi practiced with renewed vigor after hearing Yakov’s news. Viktor was gone! He was now the top skater they have and he has a shot at reaching the Grand Prix Finals!

Finally, he can show the world the fruits of his labor!

And he’ll get to rub his victory at stupid Anya’s face, too! Now she’ll regret dumping him!

I’m in love with a fairytale

The setting couldn’t be more perfect. Anya will also be competing here in China! What a marvelous way to display his intrinsically artistic program to the world!

Just she wait... He'll prove that those... those... stupid Instagram photos of her and him kissing don't mean a thing to him...!

Even though it hurts

I’ll hunt you to the ends of the earth, and I’ll find you! I will cast an eternal curse on you!

‘Cause I don’t care if I lose my mind

Never mind! I’ll save you with a kiss right now, my princess!

I’m already cursed

Never mind… I will… take a break for… now…

She’s a fairytale, yeah

Georgi watched as Mickey landed another flawless jump. There was so much more emotion in his performance now that it wasn’t hard to deduce what he was skating for.

The scene tugged at his cold heartstrings and he had to smother a sob.

He promised himself that his Free Skate at the Cup of China was the last time he’d cry for her.

Even though it hurts

“And you are…?”

“Georgi! Georgi Popovich! You looked beautiful out there, Anya!”

“… Why, thank you~!”

‘Cause I don’t care if I lose my mind

“Dinner?”

“Y-Yes! My treat!”

“Hm… Why not?”

I’m already cursed

“Will… Will you be my girlfriend?!”

...

..

.

“Georgi! I’m so sorry!”

Teal-colored eyes blinked into focus as a familiar blonde woman came running towards him. “Ekaterina, are you alright?!” he asked, standing up with hands outstretched, ready to steady her if she wasn’t.

Ekaterina sat down on the park bench with an exhausted huff and flashed him an apologetic smile. “I didn’t think… it would take me so long…”

“You didn’t really have to hurry so much… I could have waited,” said Georgi with concern as he sat back down. Try as he might, he was too busy guiltily reminiscing what happened a year ago at this very same park anyway.

But Ekaterina just waved him off with a chuckle. “But I didn’t want you to wait.” When she peered up at his face with those sparkling gray eyes of hers, Georgi couldn’t find it in himself to chastise her any further—not when she looks so happy.

Why was she looking so happy?

“Here…” She then passed the small box she had brought to him.

“Hm? What’s this?”

Georgi’s eyes widened when he found a variety of sumptuous-looking cupcakes inside. “Try one,” Ekaterina urged.

He chose a cream-colored one and took a bite. “Oh, wow, these are delicious, Ekaterina! Where’d you buy them?”

“… I made them…”

Georgi had to thump his chest to avoid choking, but when he finally calmed down, he looked at Ekaterina like she had revealed herself to be an angel.

“Y-You did?! Really?!”    

The blonde looked down at her lap, but she was glowing red with pride and joy. “W-Well, I… I didn’t want to not bring anything for you like last time so…”

Georgi blinked in confusion. “Oh, you didn’t have to. I mean, I’m fine without anythi—”

“But it’s our date and I wanna bake something for you!” she cut him off loudly—before turning even redder as she realized what she had just squeaked.

Georgi, on the other hand, tried to still his thundering heart and chant to himself that he ought to take this new relationship slow. Because… Because…

He glanced at the beautiful woman next to him, fiddling with her bag’s zipper as she avoided his adoring gaze. Because this time, I want her to want to stay with me.

But it seems… he won’t need to worry much about that, he thought in awe as he took another cupcake.

“Thank you, Ekaterina… They’re really good!”

“O-Oh! Y-You’re welcome!”

“I guess this means you’d make a great housewife, then!”

“…!”

“Ack! Sorry! I-I… F-Forget I said anything!”

“N-No! It’s… It’s fine…”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“… Maybe I can make you some Stroganoff next time…”

“…! E-Ekaterina…!”

“Eh?! G-Georgi?! Are you alright?!”

… Crap, I’ve been cursed again.

The End. . . ?

Perhaps not.

But at least this little boy is still dreaming with all his heart.

A/N:

Okay, so unlike the other oneshot, this doesn't need much explanation 'cause, well... it's literally the song itself.

We can say that Georgi's been in love the fairytale that is Anya herself, yes. But my preferred symbolism here is that Georgi's been in love with the idea of love and romance itself. Honestly, I actually believe that the situation with Anya with hadn't been the first one. (Perhaps he had a crush that didn't do so well back then) With this, the chorus makes so much more sense: that even though Georgi's been hurt, he just loves it and wants it so much--almost like he's cursed--that he doesn't mind trying again, even if it means he might get hurt again. In conclusion, my son is a gutsy risk-taker and I just love him so much. (which is why i sprinkled this with comedy because he just inspires my funny bone so much)

I've taken the liberty of calling that blonde woman in Ep. 10 "Ekaterina" as a placeholder name, and I've gone ahead and interpreted a possible persona for her. I already have so many headcanons for her... Crossing my fingers that she's finally The One in S2... >~<

Also, if we'll compare my two oneshots in this series, Viktor's is more about his whole life while Georgi's is just specifically about his love life. AND Disclaimer: Just because Viktor's is longer doesn't mean he's my fave between the two, okay? :v

I'm gonna go ahead and announce this: if I do oneshots about these two again, Georgi will have more because he hasn't gotten his happy-ever-after yet (while Viktor already has Yuuri in canon lol). Also, why did I try to compare them with this songfic series? When Georgi has enough trouble being in Viktor's shadow? Simple. Georgi is supposed to be Viktor's foil in their story. By exposing Viktor's flaws and "ordinariness", Georgi shines more as a likeable and relatable character. Either way, I just hope what I wrote made you guys root for him more.

Belated happy birthday, my stupid son. Easy with the romancing, alright? :v

And with that, Two Sides of a Fairytale is finished. :)