#IM LYING DOWN WHY

[coffeefromvoid]

POV: u wanna work on your patches for your battle jacket and patch pants but the sudden allergy outbreak fucked up your skin and your limbs feel heavy as fuck

[beaulesbian]

I don’t have the luxury of being afraid to make tough decisions. I have to choose. In order to protect the things that are dear to me.

[plan-3-tmars]

Is this what Happiness is?

- hey so I haven't seen an interpretation of the bar scenes in Half that I fully agree with, so I wanted to throw my own two cents out there into the void and pray that it makes sense !!!

so, in the bar scenes in Half we see what I interpret as a hangout with old friends (or, hangout with old friend + his wife.) These scenes used to be the biggest piece of evidence for the cheater theory, but now that that's been debunked by the man himself, I have a new way of looking at them

~ before I go any further, I just wanted to say that I'll be calling the brown-haired woman whiskey for simplicity's sake

In this scene, Kazui turns to look at Whiskey, saying the lyrics:

"laughing together, side by side, this distance in our relationship is misleading me, is this what happiness is?"

With my guess (cuz that's really what it is there's no evidence for it) that Whiskey is the Bartender's wife i think this scene is Kazui being conflicted with what he's been told is true, that marrying Hinako is "true love", versus what he feels is true, that marrying Hinako has brought distance into their relationship.

He looks at Whiskey, a woman happily married, and wonders why his relationship with Hinako isn't like that.

~ shout out to @prisoner-000 for the following screenshot

in this post he points out that Hinako and Kazui's rings are silver in Cat, not gold like they were in Half, yet Bartender's ring colour stays the same.

For the sake of this writing I'm going to go with the first meaning they put out, that Bartender's ring is gold because his marriage is genuine.

But wait!! I hear you ask. This is Half and Kazui's ring is still gold in Half!! EXACTLY MY FRIEND!!

Kazui's ring IS still gold in Half because at the time of these scenes he's still fooling himself that this relationship is good, that he will eventually garner real romantic feelings for Hianko.

"laughing together, side by side, this distance in our relationship is misleading me, is this what happiness is?"

Remember this lyric that plays during the Whiskey -> Hinako scene. You know what other scene in Half this lyric reminds me of?

laughing together, side by side,

this distance in our relationship is misleading me,

is this what happiness is?

He's beginning to doubt if what he believes is true, he's beginning to believe the feelings telling him something's wrong (and remember, the scene right after this one is when he confesses (?) his secret to Hinako) ARE infact true, and that maybe the logic he's been following for so long has a couple holes in it.

I think these scenes are meant to show Kazui gradually realising that his relationship with Hinako will not work out. It just won't, no matter how hard he tries.

He's able to laugh together and talk with Whiskey because she's his friend, yet he can't do the same with his own wife? Even though, according to his gold ring, their relationship is supposed to be real and true and genuine?

[helianskies]

so a recent discussion i had led to a revelation about one of the things that, at the heart of it all, i love about engspa. one of those big things that compels me most about these two. and it boils down to something relatively simple, now that i've reflected on it.

antonio as spain is a romance nation, and over the years that label has been one he has worn not always willingly. it is indeed a tiring thing, that expectation he feels from others. there's a pressure to that label to be someone who takes the lead, takes initiative, instigates, courts, performs the gestures, has the ideas - and it weighs him down after a while because it all feels so one-sided. he wonders why it has to be him. why the label of 'romance nation' means that he has to take the lead with romance when maybe he wants someone else to do that for him. when he wants to be the one who feels loved, pursued, wanted, and so on.

enter arthur. someone who wants to be seen as a gentleman, as mature, as good. i think he takes to romancing in a way no one else has for antonio and the label that antonio bears just... disappears. their romance and their love feels more like duet than a solo. arthur shows he is willing to be a romantic from the very start and, though perhaps a bit baffling for antonio at first, he falls fast for the man who shows he cares. the man who asks how he is, who learns his music, who listens, who spends time in private with him, who'll pick him a rose - or a whole bouquet - and who kisses him not out of obligation or performance but out of instinct. because he wants to and loves to and also understands that physical contact is important to antonio.

arthur alleviates some of that pressure for antonio, and has found someone willing to let him be the romantic he is at heart. arthur can be himself with antonio, just as antonio can be himself with arthur. love is in every gesture and word and moment that they share. and antonio feels that love without having to search for it. for each other, they are a breath of fresh air.

i think that's just one of many things i love about them. arthur, the romantic, the gentleman, the understanding. antonio, who loves loving someone who loves loving him, too. their love is made easy. it is easy to love each other. and that makes their love strong.

[corvidaedream]

me to my coworkers: when you request time off, you should not give the assistant dept head any additional info on why you're requesting it, it's none of her business and may be used against you

me requesting time off after my requests keep getting denied/overlooked the past few months: telling kelly explicitly that this one is an oncology appointment bc i want her to feel bad :)

[bogkeep]

i forgot how long it takes me to work on comms these days

[fairyhaos]

the extreme missing joshua feeling hasn't gone down btw,,,, never felt so low-energy in my life

[espers-n-espurrs]

sometimes you can both simultaneously feel your bones while also not feeling like your fully in your body and thats okay.

[rapidhighway]

also picking raspberries turned out to be.. really fucking hard

[handweavers]

i love my mother to death but if she doesn't keep trying to talk to me and ask me questions exclusively when i'm lying down to rest due to chronic fatigue and then getting mad when i'm grumpy about it i will jump out of a window

[wolfisland]

dgmw i dont give a fuck if people do drugs, or what drugs they do. not my business. but id rather actually have the choice rather than feeling like i have no other option but to be a stoner bc doctors dont wanna fucking medicate me for my pain

[shrimp1y]

Hey chat is it normal to feel the need to lie down every couple of hours

[beansnpeets]

Jon: buys a project car

Also Jon: is mad his project car needs work

[immamapletreekid]

ok movie thoughts time

[delicatetaysversion]

i just came out to a real life person and i think im having a heart attack

[djungleskogs]

.