#INSIDE JOKE TEXTING HIM WORKS THE LINK WORKS- IT'S JUST ME

[seepy-sucker]

misha that isn't how that works!

[onelittlespiral]

FML: Process Heavy

It started off so simply. A friend emailed me a link to a YouTube video promising to teach me about how to get some quick muscle. We had been swearing for months we were going to get on a consistent schedule to go, we just never did. I watched the 20 minute long video quickly. I hardly even noticed when it was over. But I felt energized enough to go on a run. That’s how it would start. I would watch the next video in the series and time would simply slip away. 20 minutes. 30 minutes. An hour. I started noticing changes, little things out of place. My water bottle half drunk in my car. Tee shirts in the laundry when I swore I washed them. Some new supplements I didn’t remember buying. It wasn’t until I popped one on Friday night and came to Monday morning fresh from the shower that I really started to get concerned.

At that point, I began noticing the physical effects. My previously smooth body had begun sprouting hair all over: my chest, my face, my arms, my ass. My voice easily dropped two octaves, deep and bellowing. And the muscle. They were not joking about growing muscle quick. My arms swelled as biceps, triceps, and forearms strained against my taught skin. Abs formed a cobblestone path down to a deep V. Firm pecs we’re established, but not for long. They continued to swell and stick out, heavy and juicy. They were almost hypnotic, the way they would jiggle as I walked. But that was nothing compared to my butt. Bubble would hardly describe it, they were pillow-like. A soft mix of muscle and fat filled out a rear that you could bounce a quarter off. Every part of me swelled and filled with power. That was when the smell really set in. No matter where I was, what I was doing, or how much I would wash I would catch this smell coming off of me. It wasn’t bad, in fact it was deep and masculine in a way that I couldn’t quite describe, but it drove me wild none the less. And I wasn’t the only one. Other bros around me would kind of drift off into their own worlds, with a distinct outline pushing against their pants. I’m not kidding dude, my boss drug me into a meeting last week. He started complaining about how my work was slipping but after just a few minutes he was basically in his own world as he just kinda leaned back in his chair and let it all hang out. I asked if I could go and he just kinda waved me off. There was a faint moan behind me as I closed the door.

At this point whole days were slipping by before I even registered they had started. It was this weekend that I somehow came to during one of my episodes. I was in the sauna in a gym I didn’t recognize. Two bros were in there, zonked out of their minds on my scent. But I realized that wasn’t all. In their state, laid back, sprawled on the bench, mouths hanging open, I saw a stream of liquid dribbling out of one guys mouth. Thick and viscous, I immediately knew the sight of jizz. I stumbled out of the room, leaving my towel behind. I texted my friend who sent me the videos in the first place. I hadn’t seen him since this had all began and I needed answers. I felt my scent catch up with me, tickling at my brain to go back into whatever trance I had been under. I wrapped a fresh towel around my nose and threw on the stringer top, shorts, and sandals I had in my locker. When had my feet grown so big? Free balling, I stormed out to my car and drove towards my friend’s place. When I arrived, the door was almost suspiciously unlocked. Who greeted me inside though was not the curly-haired, lanky, nerdy friend I knew.

He was ripped, oozed confidence, and passed a beer into my hands before I could even process.

“What, not what you were expecting? You didn’t think I would let you have all the fun did you?”

I knew then that this was all his design, his plan for me. I wanted to leave but, every small twitch of this man mesmerized me. Instead, he pushed me onto the couch, covered in his sweaty workout gear, and I began to sip on my beer. He looked me up and down, assessed me like a piece of furniture he wasn’t quite sold on.

“Well, I think you’ve processed long enough. I think it’s time to see what all that training has done.”

He pulled his shirt off and sat facing me in my lap. I was glued to my seat as this man tore my top off of me and pressed our exposed bodies together. My mind tried to to resist but my body betrayed me, as he raised my chin, slid his hand around my neck, and pulled my lips to his. I was enraptured. Our tongues danced as he began exploring my body with his hands. Quickly, he had my arms thrown behind my head as sweat trickled from my pits. He buried his face in and gave them a good sniff.

“Fuck babe, you’re ripe. Not as ripe as these though.”

He threw an arm back and guided my face to his pit. If my scent was good his was pure heroine. It consumed my mind as I felt my cock strain against my shorts. As I worshipped that stench, it kept growing and throbbing. My mind shut down, giving into raw pleasure. Nothing else mattered, I could live on this high alone. In this state, he pulled me out of his pit and asked:

“You want to live like this? You want to be controlled by your master’s scent?”

Fuck I did. Anything, I begged him, please. He gave me one last kiss as he walked out of the room, a video now playing on the TV.

“Then watch”

I felt myself slowly draining. A familiar voice droned out of the speakers, and I was throbbing for the release he would give me. In moments I was floating on nothing but the instructions of my master, and the scent of his used jockstraps lying around me…

Anyone who met you now would have never guessed how you started. A scrawny guy, stressed day in and day out at your corporate job, and cripplingly lonely. Any memories you had of that life were left somewhere in an apartment, nothing but dried cum on the floor and wall. The new you was sexy, outgoing, and confident. You worked out non-stop and did everything your master said to. You are dumb and obedient, with not a thought behind that flirtatious wink. But above all, you are horny. And guys can smell it. They can’t do anything but relax and submit, prostates being milked as they moan for more. The best get brought home and watch a few videos before being sent out into the world. Flex, fuck, propagate.

[kivino]

I DON’T CARE WHAT’S IN YOUR HAIR || ROOMMATE!JOHN ‘SOAP’ MACTAVISH X GN!READER

Word Counter – 1.9k

Tags/Warnings – Some friendly banter, can be read as both platonic and romantic, fluff!

Summary – Your roommate Johnny comes back after his deployment and his hair looks like it needs a little trimming.

A/n – I AM ON MY ROOMMATE!SOAP AGENDA AND I WILL SPREAD IT FAR AND WIDE. let me know if you guys would like to see more roommate!Soap things on my blog, i'm very interested in different opinions!!!

ao3 link!!

Soap couldn’t wait until he was finally back home – several months had passed since his last leave and he was getting restless and antsy without the very much-needed rest. And, well, your company, which he missed more and more each day. You’d constantly be on his mind, plaguing his every thought with your presence, from a rather simple, passing “Oh, they’d like this joke” inside his head to talking the ears off of anyone who’d listen to him ramble about his lovely roommate, who he affectionately called “my dumbass back home”. Slowly, but surely, the number of people willing to lend an ear to restless Johnny became less and less, with each day of him staying on the base. So really, it was more of a favor extended to all the resident soldiers there.

Soap could almost feel the buzz of excitement itching under his skin, the commute back to your shared apartment was really long and tiring; the huge duffel bag filled to the brim with dirty laundry and a variety of clothes he shoved inside in a hurry didn’t help with the soreness in his body either. Soap, thankfully, didn’t forget to tell you earlier this week that his leave got approved, which you didn’t seem too excited about over the text, but he knew that you were screaming and jumping from joy. Maybe.

The last time he forgot to do that ahead of time he came back to an absolute disaster inside the apartment, with you trying to cook dinner while doing laundry, vacuuming, and cussing him out for not telling you earlier. Truth be told, Johnny didn’t mind if the apartment was messy, with undone dishes and whatnot, he’d help you do everything, but you were fixed on the fact that you should do it yourself and it’s absolutely crucial that everything has to be perfect by the time he’s back. Ghost joked that you had some military spouse mentality when Soap mentioned it to him (among countless other times he’d tell the big guy about you). Maybe there was some truth to this joke. Just maybe.

Regardless, Johnny could feel the bounce in his step and the same lightness in his chest when he was finally within a short walking distance of the apartment, and he just simply couldn’t wait to see you, even if you were a bit tired after all the cleaning you’d have to do in the apartment to keep up this image of a “perfect roommate”, despite being to him much more than just that. Seconds drag out unbearably long when he’s going up the steep stairs in the building that have certainly seen better times than the 21st century, and Soap thinks he could combust when he has to rummage through his pockets for the keys he hasn’t used in months. Johnny could hear the vacuum moaning from exertion from his place outside the door and an unintentional smile grazes his lips when he hears you cursing something out in your native language. Johnny finally fishes the key out of his pocket, hurriedly unlocks the door, and goes inside, as quietly as he can, which you can still hear even over the sound of a working vacuum.

“Johnny, you ass, you’re finally back.” You’re immediately distracted from the home appliance, as you turn it off and focus your attention solely on Soap, running up to him across the room and helping him with the giant duffel bag. “Thought you died out there with long they held up your leave.” You mumble with a chuckle that turns into a rough shriek, courtesy of Johnny squeezing the life out of you with a tight and warm embrace.

“Aye, there we go, bonnie, let’s hug it out!” If you could hear over his loud booming voice you were sure you’d hear your bones snapping from how tight his arms wrapped around your torso. You’d probably hug him back if you could free your arms out of Johnny’s hug too, but that didn’t seem to be an option at the moment.

“Johnny, for fuck’s sake, you stink!” You only hear a hearty laugh in response to your dramatic delivery. You tried to seem annoyed with Soap, which was a bit harder than you initially thought. You kind of missed him, the apartment felt cold and empty without his chatter.

“And that’s how you treat me after we haven’t seen each other for months? You wound me so deep.” The man says in a mock-sad tone. Deep inside of him, he felt that – you’re not being serious and just messing with him. So, he only continued squeezing you in his arms, without much thought. “When did you shower last time anyway?” you ask with a light groan. “Not in the past 24 hours, I’ll tell ya that.” Johnny’s chest rumbles with a low laugh and you can feel those vibrations going right through you, from how close you were.

“Oh, fuck off. And what’s with the hair? Decided to take some fashion advice from those edgy lads down the road?” You finally look up at Soap and he looks…Interesting to say the least. It’s obvious that someone probably helped him trim down the sides, since they didn’t appear much longer than they were several months ago when he left last. The longer part of the mohawk, however, made him look like he decided to go full mullet, with parts of his hair cut in certain places, like there was an attempt to make it shorter. It wasn’t bad-looking by any stretch of the imagination (in fact, you were sure, that Johnny can make look good just about anything if he managed to pull off the fucking mohawk in the first place), but you had to take the piss at him while you had the chance.

“Everyone’s a critic. Help me cut it then, will ya?” The man asks, slightly loosening his iron grip on you to look you in the eyes with an infectious smile.

“Only after you wash.”

“Naturally.”

And that’s how you find yourself in the cramped, tight bathroom of your apartment, Johnny sitting in front of the mirror on a stool, back hunched over the sink and you standing right behind him, with a pair of scissors and a clear goal in mind – sort out whatever mess was on his head. If it was up to you, you’d find a person who decided to make Johnny the next victim of their questionable fashion choices and cut off their fingers so they can never hold anything that can cut hair in their hands again. But for now, you just have to figure out what to do with Soap.

“You look like a feral rat on steroids, Johnny,” You say, as your fingers slowly drift through the longer, very grown-out parts of his mohawk. You look at his reflection in the mirror and your eyes meet, despite the weird angle his head was positioned at, just to rest on your stomach. Soap gives you a lopsided smile and closes his eyes with a relaxed sigh. That bath must’ve been good, you scrubbed the shit out of the bathroom yesterday.

“Well, somebody’s gotta be the pretty one outta the pair of us.” If you were meaner than you already are you’d yank his hair to teach his ass a lesson. But you don’t. And he knows you wouldn’t do that, which is why you can see one barely open blue eye staring back at you from the mirror. He’s such a pain in the ass, but you love him. The world will collapse the day you actually acknowledge that though.

“You’re butt-ugly.” You mumble instead, playing with the damp strands of hair that refused to stand up the way they did before his deployment. You didn’t know much about the military dress code but you’d be surprised if he wasn’t violating any regulations with how his hair looked.

“Yer mum would disagree.” Johnny gave another hearty laugh and leaned more into you with his back. It really felt great to be back home. He could’ve still lived with his parents and sisters back on that farm, but as much as he loved them, relatives were too much sometimes. Maybe he should visit them soon with you. That’d be great. Johnny just has to explain beforehand that you’re only roommates, so it doesn’t turn into a big mess, that he’d hate to sort out.

“You don’t even know my mum, you wanker.” You slap Johnny on the shoulder lightly and he doesn’t even flinch. “Come on, straighten up.” He reluctantly obeys and gets up from his unusual resting position, you hear no verbal protests from him. With a light, gentle motion your hand ruffles his hair in approval.

“I’m sure she’s a woman of refined taste.” This earns Soap another slap to the shoulder, to which he laughs like a damn schoolboy. Your eyes are glued to his hair, studying it carefully. You didn’t have much experience even trimming it on somebody else, so this was a bit nerve-wracking – you didn’t want to mess up and make Johnny look worse. Although not a lot of things could look genuinely bad on the man, you were willing to admit that. You finally take the scissors that have been sitting on the edge of the sink for the past half hour and pinch the longer stand that fell over Johnny's eyes between your index and middle fingers. “Well, what are you waiting for? Cut it.” He tries to hurry you, and you can’t even see the way he observes your expression - brows tied together in a thoughtful frown, Johnny thought it looked quite cute.

“Shut up, I’m thinking.” Your eyes rise to the mirror again and he playfully rolls his eyes. He doesn’t say anything though, letting you take your time, as you put down the scissors. You start ruffling Johnny’s hair again and you see the way he closes his eyes in the reflection, a warm smile stretching his lips. Your hand rests on the side of his face for a moment and not even a second passes, before you feel Soap’s palm rest over it in a gentle motion. But it doesn’t end on it, when he rubs his cheek over your skin, his stubble scratching you slightly. You let him have this moment though.

You look at his hair, as you ruffle and play with it using your free hand, and your realization makes you want to bash your head on the wall. You like it better like this. This is stupid and you feel like an idiot. At least you had an idea on how you can tell Johnny that you changed your mind about cutting his hair. Your fingers dive into his hair again, scratching the scalp lightly with the nails as you give your final verdict, looking at his reflection in the mirror.

“I don’t think I can make it any worse than it already is, to be honest. Somebody fucked you over real good with that one.” You lie right to his face. Johnny opens his eyes and gives you a mischievous smile when he hears that.

“So, what I hear is you’re chickening out?’ He asks with a light, airy laugh that makes even the cold bathroom feel warmer.

“Johnny, get out of here before I shave you bald”

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[talltalesandbedtimestories]

“If You Don’t Look Good, We Don’t Look Good” - Dean x Reader

Rating Explicit

Dean x Reader

Tags: Fluff, Angst, Humor, Shameless Smut (I got carried away), Cameo Appearance by Soft!Dom Dean, Unprotected Sex

Word Count: 4200

You and Sam had decided on a code to use in the most grievous, world-shattering of situations.

Full Dean Meltdown

Neither one of you have had to use it – until you get a text from Sam. A case has gone all kinds of awful for Dean. You are not ready for the version of Dean you have to face in the aftermath.

Notes: This is total self-indulgence because I miss This Dean.

I'm participating in @jacklesversebingo and this part will fill my "Hair Pulling" square.

Image created in Canva (links for photos used - found on Google: Jensen Ackles, Liverpool Comic Con, 2023; Jensen Ackles Photo Shoot

66

You stare, mid-muffin chew, at Sam’s text.

“Fuck me.” A few stray crumbs and a rogue blueberry land on a page of lore you should probably be more careful with. But you can’t be bothered with MOL reference handling procedures at the moment.

This is Red Alert. Defcon 5. Designated Survivor Mode Activated.

You and Sam had decided on a code to use in the most grievous, world-shattering of situations.

Full Dean Meltdown

“Fuck.” There’s no point in continuing to curse to yourself. “Fuck.” But you can’t help it. Neither one of you has ever had to use it before. You’d come close a few times.

The book is forgotten, pushed to the side on the table surface. Your fingers glide over the phone’s keyboard.

Is he alright?!? What happened? Please, tell me this is a joke?

I wouldn’t joke about this. Sam’s words bubble up, line by line. Well, I made the mistake of joking right after it happened. It’s gotten progressively worse the entire drive back. He hasn’t said a single word since we got in the car. IDK what’s gonna happen.

“Fuck.”

Should I evacuate? How much time do I have?

Just pulled into the garage.

Shit, Sam! Do you not understand how a code word for disaster preparedness works? One needs enough time to actually prepare for the disaster!

You wait. More bubbles. Then nothing. Maybe Sam didn’t make it out alive. Maybe you should make a run for it through the war room and up the stairs. Save yourself.

I received some communication. He’s headed straight for the showers. Meet you in the lab.

“A what?”

“Musca.” Sam sighs. “Ever seen ‘The Fly’?”

“On cable years ago, filtered through my fingers.”

Sam continues. “They secrete this sticky goo to build a nest.” His mouth crinkles. “Dean landed in it.”

“The nest?” you ask.

“The goo. A puddle of the stuff. Monster fluids freak him out.”

You shiver in disgust at the thought. “Fuck creature feature fluids. 100% in agreement.”

“So, we tracked the musca to its hideout in an abandoned factory. We split up when we got inside…”

“Why do you always split up?” you ask, following it with a frustrated groan.

Sam purses his lips and then proceeds. “When I found him, he was basically glued to this massive conveyor belt holding the goo like it was a kiddie pool. I had to cut him out of most of his clothes to free him.”

The thought of a half-naked Dean has you shiver for other reasons. “Poor guy,” you add in an effort to express sympathy over your dirty thoughts.

Sam chuckles.

You straighten with worry Sam has figured out your crush on his brother. Ready to dispute any yearnings, you add a grumbly edge to your voice and the question. “What was funny about any of that?”

Sam fists long strands on the right side of his scalp high in the air. “Even his hair got stuck to the belt. I had to hack half of it off.” He fingers his bangs back into effortless waves. “Once we killed it, Dean mumbled, ‘Vidal Sassoon you ain’t, fucker.’”

You shrug, confused. “Well, I mean, I get the trauma from the nasty gnat excretions. But that doesn’t explain why you had to warn of a possible Dean disaster.”  

Sam’s gaze tears from yours to stare at the floor by his boots.

“Sam?”

He lifts a shoulder. “I might have said something like, ‘We can’t all be masterful hunters with glorious locks.’”

You frown. “Sam…”

Sam raises a hand in defense. “Hey, maybe now he’ll finally shut up about my hair being a liability. I mean, hello, I’ve still got mine.”

The temptation to knock on Dean’s bedroom door is great. But you refrain, hiding away in yours instead. He’ll be better in the morning, you decide. Especially if you fry up some bacon.

A light rap of knuckles against mahogany distracts you from the latest show binge on your laptop. You pause the action. “Yeah?”

“Got a minute?” Even with the question, Dean’s tone sounds like a command.

You gulp. “Sure.” Rotating in the seat, your hand grips the top of the backrest. You’ll try to hold the line against the Dean Winchester Offensive.

The door swings slowly on its hinges. Dean slinks into your space. It’s the opposite of his usual bluster and humorous bellows that lead to inevitable laughter on your end. His slippers shuffle along the tile. He’s wearing roomy sweats and a dark t-shirt that hugs his torso. A folded towel is wedged into the crook of his arm. 

Your brain locks onto two things that appear off about Dean. The first thing totally out of place on the masterpiece before you is the baseball cap.

In the next second, you remember why he’s wearing it. It’s not because he’s undercover as a delivery driver or Fish and Wildlife Game Warden.

Dean does not want you to see his hair in its current state.

The second thing makes your pulse quicken. His beard is… gone. You can’t remember the last time you saw him even close to clean-shaven. You forgot what that sharp jawline used to do to your insides.

“Hey.” You don your best don’t-let-on-to-anything smile.

Dean scrutinizes you as if you are a witness in his rapid-fire way and then huffs. “Son of a bitch told you, didn’t he?”

You decide not to remind Dean he and Sam share the same mother. “He did. I’m sorry. You okay?”

The door clicks shut. “I’ll live. Sam might not see the light of day, though.”

You ignore the murder threat, instead focusing on a new scent in the air. You sniff, nostrils flaring with the deep inhale. Dean smells like he’s working on an amazing beach tan.

He nods at your reaction. “Coconut Oil. I had to use all that was in the kitchen for…” He circles his lower body with a finger and eventually points to the baseball cap.

“Did it do the trick?”

“Better than I hoped. I even got all that nasty shit out of my hair.” His weight shifts from one foot to the other. “But I need a favor.”

“At your disposal.” Still seated, you somersault your hand as if addressing royalty.

That at least cracks a tiny smile into his serious veneer. “I had to take a razor to my hair and cut it pretty short. Can you clean me up in the back?”

You clutch your chest and gasp in the most dramatic fashion you can muster. “You trust me to touch your hair?” 

“I trust you with my life, wiseass.” Dean smirks. “Can the sass and help a guy out, would ya?”

A warmth blossoms in your heart at Dean’s words. The heat spreads to your skin. You wave a hand at the towel and clear your throat. “Those the accouterments?”

Dean quirks a brow and grins. “Croutons?”

“And you call me the wiseass.” You sigh.

He shrugs with a nod in agreement. He drops the towel on the desk and lifts one of the corners to reveal the electric razor inside.

“Okay. Here’s as good a place as any, I suppose.” You rise from your seat, close the laptop, and move it to your dresser.

“You sure? We can go to the bathroom.” He thumbs at the door.

You wave a hand at the chair you vacated, now standing behind it. “Here’s good.”

Dean sits. The wooden chair creaks.

“Towel.”

Dean grabs the razor before passing the towel. You flap the fabric, channel your inner toreador, and let it billow over Dean’s frame like a sail. When it settles, you wrap and tuck it into the back of the collar.

Moments like this are pure indulgence. Getting within close proximity of Dean years ago left your brain unable to process the simplest tasks. Breathing. Blinking. Talking. Eventually, you got a handle on your senses. Now, you could treat yourself to the experience of him on occasion in a myriad of ways. No one had to be the wiser that the mundane helped create many fantasies.

“Razor.”

Dean chuckles, presenting you with the razor over his shoulder. “It’s not surgery.”

“Hey, appreciate the seriousness with which I’m embracing this endeavor.” You step to his left. “Dean?”

He lifts his head to peer up from under the brim of his cap. “Yeah?” His blinks emphasize the question.

All that does is force you to focus on his pretty lashes and the eye color he’s daring you to try and describe in your head. The cheekbones and the manicured five o’clock shadow aren’t helping matters either. You swallow and remember what’s supposed to happen next. “Can’t do much with that hat on your head.”

“Oh. Right.” He sighs. “Just, no laughing, alright?”

You place a hand on his shoulder and squeeze softly in confirmation. “No laughing. Promise.”

Dean exhales. You suck in your lips and hold your breath. He closes his eyes and peels the cap off.

You stare dumbfounded.

“Say whatever you gotta say,” Dean mumbles with scrunched features and shut lids.

Your vision clouds. Heart races. “It’s…”

“Awful,” he interrupts.

“Perfect,” you whisper.

Eyes open at the word. His gaze shoots up to meet yours. “Huh?”

Gone are the 90s dreamboat bangs he’s been growing out and tending to since 2020. In their place are a couple of directionless inches that need gel after the scrubbing, clipping, and hat matting. The Musca goo must have done most of its damage around the sides and back. In those areas, he’s shaved it short and close, done his best to fashion a fade that you imagine was muscle memory for him even after all these years. You eye the spot at the base of his skull that needs to be cleaned and tapered.  

You’re blinking, fighting back tears, utterly speechless.

Dean stares, total confusion lining his face. “Are you crying? Why the hell are you crying?” He taps the top of his head. “Shit… is it that fucking of a fiasco?”

“No.” You cover your mouth at the possibility a nervous laugh might spill out, which will only irritate him further. Moments pass as you struggle to steady your breath.

“Well, what the hell is it then?”

Dropping the hand covering your mouth, you beam down at him. “It’s you.” You could care less about what you were supposed to do with the razor in your hand. Instead, you perch your ass against the desk so you can lean back and take him in.

Dean’s eyes widen. You’ve seen that look of concern many times. “Yeeaaah. It’s me. Who else would it be? Do I need to get Sam?”

Your head shakes in amazement at the vision. “I haven’t seen this Dean since… damn, since before the pandemic. Since you and Sam made that bet, remember?”

“Gonna have to be a little more specific. Sam and I make lots of bets.”

“The one about you being unable to resist the temptation to take a razor to your hair during lockdown. I don’t even remember what the stakes were.”

Dean contemplates. “Hm. I haven’t got a clue. That was like, what, four years ago.” His lids shade the dark green of his irises. “This Dean?”

You nod. Your breath hitches at the swell of emotions rising. “The guy I first met.”

Dean shifts in the chair and leans forward. Every furrow and crinkle on his face melts away. His eyes appear to double in size as he waits for you to continue.

“My hero.” The whisper is a physical manifestation of how vulnerable and exposed you feel at Dean’s silent interrogation method. You press on. “The one that risked his life to save me… forever ago.”

He lifts one side of his mouth in a lopsided grin. “Sam was there, too, you know.”

You laugh. Cheeks warm at the adorably smug reaction. “Yes, you’re right. He was.”

Dean shakes his head. “Sam’s had the exact same haircut for years. I don’t see you crying every time you lay eyes on him. He’s a walking reminder of the guy you first met.”

“But he’s not you.” In your haste to provide an explanation, you realize you’ve said too much.

Dean’s mouth opens a fraction. His brows downturn. He’s working it out in his head in real-time.

You’re terrified.

A new smile forms. You think you spot a blush on his cheeks. “What else do you remember about this Dean?”

You shrug and tear your gaze from his. You don’t want your words to betray you again.

“Hm.” Dean rambles off a laundry list. “A lot of brooding back then, wasn’t there? I was a really good brooder. Hard to figure out? Distant, too, right? Definitely knew what was best for everybody. Stubborn jackass.”

You remain silent.

“Okay, still a stubborn jackass.”

You giggle. He joins in with a chuckle. Your anxiety eases and you find courage to look at him again.

“We’ve all changed in different ways, I guess. You, for example.” Dean gestures in your direction.

You stiffen. This could go many ways. You aren’t ready for any of them.

“You don’t take any of my shit, for one.” He raises a finger. “You're confident. You speak your mind. You have a life outside of these bunker walls.” Four fingers are on display for a while. He smiles and elongates his thumb. “But you still make this your home.”

“Every second of the life I’m able to live is because of you guys. I owe you everything. I’m lucky you let me make this my home.” You reason.

Dean’s smile drops. The open palm clenches into a fist and rests on his thigh. “You don’t owe us anything.”

“You and Sam did all that for me without batting an eye. You didn’t expect anything in return. You and Sam gave me so much more than I could ever repay. You gave me a second chance. You gave me a home.” You shrug and smile. “You became my home.”

He studies the floor and smirks, stating more to himself, “Not the only long-standing bet I’ve lost to Sam today.” Dean inhales and sits tall, focusing back on you. He nods, slow and calculated. “So, perfect, huh?” 

You roll your eyes. “Don’t get a big head.”

“A little late for that.” He grins and reclines back. “Would you go so far as to say this Dean” – he sweeps his hands in front of his figure in a dramatic gesture – “is irresistible?”

You exhale. “I don’t know if I’d say irresistible.”

He licks his lips. “Whew. Well, that’s good. I mean, otherwise, you’d have the same problem I have.”

You drop the razor on the desk and cross your hands over your chest. “What problem would that be?”

A heated gaze, beginning at your socked feet, rakes over you with his answer. “How much I find every fucking thing about you irresistible. You could shave your head and wear a potato sack, and I’d still have to keep my feelings in check.” You're practically on fire by the time his eyes lock with yours. “Every goddamn second of every day I’m around you.”

“This would be one of those times I don’t take any of your shit,” you scoff and squint back.

It’s his turn to clutch his hand to his chest. “You think I’m lying?”

“I think you’re having a little too much fun at the expense of my soul-baring.”

“Wanna bet?” 

Dean’s voiced that question countless times. Tonight, though, certainty laces his words.

He seems to take your silence as the only needed response. “Kiss me.”

“Wh-hat?”

“If you think you can resist, kiss me, and it’s a one-and-done.” His brows lift. “But if you can’t… Well, I might not leave this room anytime soon.”

“That doesn’t sound like a wager. More like a dare.” You straighten your stance. “Besides, you’re assuming…”

He grumbles out an interruption, “Sounds like somebody’s stalling.”

Your mouth snaps shut.

“Maybe we both take the armor off for a night. Take a chance on something that could be awesome.” Dean posits. His hands rub the cloth atop his thighs. “I can make it awesome.” The tone is low and promising. “If it helps, I’m this Dean tonight. We can worry about that Dean tomorrow.” He smiles, reaches a hand out to you, and nods in encouragement.

He’s struggling to play it cool, keep his emotions in check. You’ve seen this Dean before. He’s inhaling and exhaling fast through his nose. His jaw clenches and it cracks your resolve even further.

You drop your shield and let this Dean win you over. 

You melt, wrapping your fingers over his. This Dean’s touch electrifies every cell and awakens every dormant hope you had put to rest. He tugs you into his space. His lead forces the parting of your legs in order for his thigh to slot between. You hover. Your chin drops to your chest while his chin tips up high to hold your gaze. His body heat pulses off him like a vibrational energy. “Kiss me.” It’s the sweetest and softest request you’ve ever heard this Dean utter.

Your fingers trace along the freshly shaved hair over his right ear. It’s slippery and smooth in one direction, scritch-scratchy in the other. You can study every battle scar on this handsome canvas. No bangs of curtains or overgrown beard can hide them from you now. 

His lips part and release a deep sigh. Your fingers slip down his neck. Warm hands rest on the curve of your hips.

“I won’t be able to resist you,” you whisper.

“Good,” he hums. He’s guiding you with a firm grip to straddle his thigh. Then, there’s an encouraging push with a large palm and splayed fingers against the middle of your back. The sweet smell of coconut hits. Your gaze zones onto that bowed top lip. The way the plump bottom one parts from it to grant entrance.

Dean huffs an impatient groan you are all too familiar with. “You don’t kiss me in the next five seconds, I’m gonna kiss you.”

“Is that supposed to be some kind of threat?” you tease.

“More like a warning.” His voice is gruff and deep.

You hold back a moan at the sound, then dip down and do as you’re told.

Everything about the kiss is eager and rushed. Together you’re a tangle of limbs and fever pitch need. You’re pressed tight and right to his body - all muscle-tense and trigger-ready. His lips respond in kind to your every brush, swipe, and nudge for more and more.

“Gonna take such good care of you,” he murmurs through the kiss.

You gasp in satisfaction at the intention. 

His lips skim to your jaw, under your ear, then down your neck. “I gotta know that’s what you want.”

“Yes, Dean.”

Another hum thrums against your skin. You shiver as fingers creep under the hem of your t-shirt. His nose nuzzles along the frayed v-neck collar. He cups your breasts under the fabric. A thumb and finger twists one of your nipples even more erect. Teeth scraping and tongue lapping over the other fabric-covered nipple draw a strained moan out of your throat.

Soon the shirt is tugged hastily over your head for removal. Then you feel his mouth and hands all over your breasts again, unencumbered.

You’re a panting, heaving mess riding his thigh like you’re on an X-rated carousel. You arch your chest into his face. He’s slurping and sucking your nerve endings into the stratosphere. He pops a tit out of his mouth long enough to order, “Yeah, come for me so I can fuck that nice wet pussy.”

Dean staring at you, commanding you to come for him, is the tipping point you need to orgasm hard and fast.

“Yeah.” He grabs a fistful of your hair and clamps his mouth to yours. “Gonna feel so good around my cock.” He steals every gasp of air you expel with his inhales.

You’re tingling all over. He peels you off his thigh to sandwich his standing body to yours. He towers over you. He’s stiff and erect in his sweats, pressed into your lower tummy. His hands sweep up and down the channel of your spine.

“This Dean’s got a lot to make up for.” His tongue licks at your lips. “But I gotta be inside you right now.”

You nod. “You got five seconds to get me naked and on that bed.”

Never let it be said that Dean Winchester is not up for a challenge.

The chair behind him is now careening towards the bedroom door on all four legs. You scream-giggle as he lifts you into the air while he twirls, then tosses you onto the mattress, bouncing at the impact.

The sound of the chair crashing and toppling into a corner does nothing to distract you from watching Dean tunnel out of his t-shirt, kick off his slippers, and hopscotch out of his pants and boxers. His hard, thick cock springs to attention.

Fuck. You want every inch of that deep inside you.

He hooks his fingers onto the hem of your pants and manages to pull your socks off along with them. Kneeing onto the bed, he croons, “Been wanting you for so long, baby.”

Your head falls back into the cushion of the mattress, woozy from Dean’s actions and confession. “Probably been wanting you longer.”

Your panties are off and tossed over his shoulder next. “You don’t gotta wait anymore.” He grips under your knees and drags you to him. He slides over the wet heat of your folds and hisses, “Wanna fuck you without a condom.”

You whimper, “Just fuck me already.”

He smiles, grabs his cock – that must be fitted with a pussy homing device – and pistons into your entrance without any further mother fucking ado.

You gasp at the searing heat and sharp pain of him stretching you open. But he doesn’t stop fucking you. He’s minding how your facial features accept the brunt of each thrust and the agonizing slow release of his cock. Over and over. His descent is just as slow as he fucks. But eventually, your legs clamp around his waist and he wraps you in an embrace. Chests plastered together, moaning into each other’s mouths.

Your fingers inch into what remains of his bangs. You pull at the hair and Dean groans out, “Yeah.”

It’s lovely and languid for however long you both have the patience. The feel of him everywhere and inside is something you don’t ever want to end. But there’s a second orgasm building. The thought of Dean spilling into you has your walls clench in impatience around his cock.

“Fuck,” he grunts, face tucked along your neck. You lift your head up to enjoy the view of his undulating back and curvy ass clenching and raising as his fucking gains momentum. You pull at his hair again. “Fuuuck.”

He stills, turns to stone, and you feel his cock pulse and warmth spill inside. Moments later, a hand wedges between your bodies to thumb your clit and trigger your second orgasm.

You cry out his name.

“I got you, baby,” Dean whispers into your ear. And he does. Not letting go and practically swaddling you with his body. The sexiest weighted blanket on the planet.

You smile and stroke – instead of pulling – at his hair. “Who’s got me exactly? This Dean or That Dean?”

He sighs, sounding winded. “You get all the versions. Whether you like it or not.”

“I’d like that very much.”

He leans back to stare at you. “Yeah?” He’s red and flushed and the happiest you’ve ever seen him. “Even if I grow my hair out again?”

You nod. “Yeah. More for me to pull.”

Dean groans and flops to his back beside you, chuckling.

You listen to the rhythm of your collective breathing slow down and regulate. His fingers brush along the flesh of your thigh. “Dean?”

“Hm?”

“Earlier, you said something about losing two bets to Sam today. What was the other one?”

“Asshole told me you had a thing for me years ago. Let’s hold off on telling him he was right, or I’m doing his laundry for an entire year.”

“I don’t think we have to tell him anything, Dean. I’m pretty sure he heard everything.”

“Hm. You’re right.” He’s up on an elbow, staring down at you. “Maybe text him that code thing? That might get him out of the bunker for a while.”

You blink. “Code?”

“Don’t play coy now.” Dean shakes his head. “But what’s the ‘66’ mean?”

You bite your lip.

He waits.

“It was Sam’s idea.”

He waits.

“The 66 Seals.” 

Dean cringes.

You shrug. “Too soon?”

“And he says I have a twisted sense of humor.” Dean yawns. He finds the edge of the comforter you both are lying atop and tosses it over your naked bodies. “So, will you still clean me up in the back? Maybe wait until morning, though?”

“Absolutely.” You snuggle into his chest, secure that Dean will wake up next to you in the morning. “If you don’t look good, we don’t look good.”

It takes a beat before Dean responds with a teasing smack to the back of your head, followed by a kiss on your forehead. “Wiseass.”

[zukkacore]

I’m not a Jace stardiamond is a good teacher truther or a Jace Stardiamond is a bad teacher truther I’m a Jace Stardiamond realist. He’s good at being endlessly supportive to shy and scared sorcerer freshman, his reflexes on counterspell or dispel are insane, he spends most of his day making sure the kids in his class aren’t doing the fantasy equivalent of jumping the chain link fence and biting their classmates so even if he did lesson plan (which he doesn’t) he wouldn’t even have time to get to the curriculum anyway. Everyone thinks he’s barely a “teacher” but the fragile ecosystem of Aguefort Academy would easily crumble without him bc he’s so covert about making sure everything looks as easy breezy cool as ice and making sure nobody is poking their nose in his classroom (stupid wizards). He’s good at making connections with his kids but overly familiar with them to the point of being more teacher as friend and. He’s very good at magic and is very good at making sorcery seem appealing and cool and unscary and not a curse (I’m not a perfect teacher but please stick around bc this will literally save your life and by the end of four years you’re gonna love it and yourself) but he’s also personally naturally so good at sorcerery and never learned how to like, work and build on skills to achieve goals that giving the upperclassman actual useful feedback is beyond his reach, and they are frustrated by his limitations but at least he lets them text in class. He has inside jokes with his students which includes the whole “we only talk about how great innate magic is all day” but also if you’re a student who struggles to pick things up he doesn’t know what much more to do to help beyond just. Being supportive. Listen. I don’t know how to help you. The girls who get it, get it. Jace loves when the girls who get it, get it because he was always a girl who got it. He’s the Permissive Parent who thinks he’s Gentle Parent to Porter’s Tough Love, but the one thing they have in common is that when they think a student has promise they’re honestly shameless in their ability to play favorites. Half of his former students send him postcards and invite him to their college graduation and half of them are like Jace stardiamond? Fuck that guy, he literally never taught me a single thing while I was at Aguefort

[thefallennightmare]

Fika-Joakim 'Jolly' Karlsson: 2/2

*made by @madomens. check her out!*

*gif created by me. feel free to use, simply give credit*

Pairings: Joakim 'Jolly' Karlsson x OFC.

Warnings: some angst, swearing, lots of fluff, smut, mentions of death.

Summary: To appease her dying father’s wishes, Astrid takes over the family coffee shop: Fïka. Plans to restore it to its former glory: setting her dreams and ambitions aside- that is until she meets an unexpected stranger. This very stranger changes the trajectory of her life.

Authors Note: Here is part two my lovelies!

Tags: @thescarlettvvitch @sammyjoeee @somewhere-diamond @concreteemo @ladispo0p @to-be-written @lilmonster218 @whenthesummerdies @lizzieseveride @blackveilomens @malice-ov-mercy @lma1986 @klutzy-kay24 @baddestomens @cncohshit @jilliemiw86 @cookiesupplier

ASTRID

Straightening out my black floral sundress, I knocked on the front door and waited patiently. Surprisingly it was a warm February evening in Los Angeles but I still wrapped my jacket tighter around me and then tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, opting to leave it down tonight. Exhaustion crept into my bones after a long day of running the cafe but at about seven, I left Jessica and Tori to close up so I could come here. 

All day, I could only think of mine and Jolly’s kiss and the way it made me feel so alive. Yes, it made it harder to work today but it was worth it when I remembered how his lips tasted or how he smelled. Every part of him had absorbed into me with our kiss and I craved more. 

Earlier today, Jolly texted me the address to his house and a time of when to show up. So here I was six p.m. on the dot shaking out the nerves just as the door opened, the music from the house spilling into the street.

“Hey, Astrid!” 

I smiled at Jesse. “Hi!” 

He waved me inside. “Come on in. Make yourself at home. 

Stepping over the threshold, I did my best to calm my nerves again when I noticed a lot of unfamiliar faces and I felt very out of place. I was two seconds away from turning on my heels and leaving until Y/N stepped into the living room from a hallway. 

“Astrid, hey!” Her cheery voice waved me over. “Jolly told me you were coming. I’m so glad because I’m so over being the only girl at these things.” 

“Yeah,” I chuckled, then held up a bag. “I-uh-brought some sweets from Fika. It was the batch that didn’t sell today and I figured you guys would enjoy them more than being tossed out.” 

Y/N’s eyes lit up as she took the bag. “Oh my gosh, you know the way to my heart. Let me introduce you to everyone.” 

She linked her arms with mine, and that simple action washed away every anxiety I had tonight. I couldn’t explain it but Y/N seemed to be the sunshine in a dark room, making everyone forget the bad in their life for a few moments. 

First, she pointed to a couple that was leaning against the kitchen island, hand in hand. 

“This is Malcolm,” Y/N motioned to a tall man with long auburn curls and hazel eyes that mirrored my own. 

“And his boyfriend, Chase,” then she pointed to a man next to Malcolm. 

His head was buzzed, only fuzz of his blonde hair, but his bright blue eyes were striking. 

“They’re also my best friends and roommates,” Y/N informed. 

“Nice to meet you, Astrid,” Malcolm smiled. 

Chase nodded. “Jolly hasn’t stopped talking about you all night.” 

I shuffled my feet, wondering what exactly Jolly had told them about me. “Oh?” 

“It seems as if someone is smitten,” he smirked behind the cup as he brought it to his lips, taking a sip. 

Y/N waved them off before leading me toward another group of guys that sat at the kitchen table. 

“Geez, you weren’t kidding about being the only girl here,” I joked with a smile. 

“Tell me about it so if I seem a bit clingy, I apologize. It’s just nice to have another female here.” 

I patted her arm reassuringly. “You’re fine, Y/N. I don’t mind at all.” 

As we stopped in front of the table, six sets of eyes stared at me. All of them had a wide variety of tattoos but warm smiles. 

“Okay so,” Y/N started rattling off names as she pointed to everyone. “That’s Nicholas, Nick but you can call him Folio, Matt, Davis, Michael, and Bryan.” 

“Sorry, it’s a lot of names thrown at you at once,” Folio apologized. 

“If I couldn’t remember names, I wouldn’t be good at my job,” I shrugged with a laugh. 

“Oh, that’s right! You own that cafe on W. 9th? Fika?” Matt asked. 

I wore a proud smile. “That’s the one.”

For the next few minutes, I chatted with all of them until movement out of the corner of my eye caught my attention. Peering up to the sliding glass door of the house, I noticed both Noah and Jolly standing outside on the back deck, grilling some sort of food. It seemed like they were having a deep conversation, Noah running his hand over his face a few times and Jolly listening intently. 

Almost as if he felt me staring, Jolly glanced away from the grill, his dark eyes immediately finding mine. I gave him a small wave, one he returned before going back to his conversation with Noah. 

“I hope you’re hungry,” Nicholas said, pulling my attention back inside. “Jolly insisted on cooking tonight for all of us.” 

I played with the straps of my purse. “He cooks?” 

“Out of all of us, he’s one of the best. Noah likes to cook but if it were up to either of them, it’s always Jolly,” Matt said. 

“The rest of us just eat,” Folio finished with a chuckle. 

As I continued to talk with all of Jolly’s friends, a genuine smile on my face, I felt someone's warm embrace encased around me as a gentle hand rested on my lower back. 

“Käraste,” Jolly’s deep voice breathed into my hairline.

Gazing up at him, my breath caught in my throat when I met his dark eyes. I’d seen them up close many times before but every single time, they took my breath away. The tan long sleeve he wore did wonders for his skin and half of his long hair was tied back into a bun so I was able to fully see him. 

“Hi,” I turned towards him. 

He motioned to everyone behind me. “Are they being nice?” 

I patted his chest, fingers messing with his necklace. “Yes, very welcoming.” 

“Good,” he hummed and laced our fingers together. “Are you hungry?” 

Suddenly the smell of fresh food filled my nostrils and my stomach growled, something Jolly picked up on because he chuckled. Pulling out the stool at the kitchen island for me, I sat with a smile of thanks and watched as he grabbed a plate. 

He motioned to the wide spread of chicken and steak shish kabobs with a variety of different veggies. “Anything a no on this list?” 

“Nope. I’ll have a little bit of everything please,” I said. 

While Jolly filled my plate with food, Noah motioned toward the open fridge. “Would you like something to drink?” 

“Water is fine, thank you.” 

After he set down a bottle of water in front of me, Y/N was trying to make herself a plate of food but Noah quickly smacked her hands away. 

“Noah, I can-,” she started. 

“Not a chance, angel. Sit down and I’ll bring it to you.” 

I watched the two of them interact with a faint smile, Noah brushing back Y/N’s hair after he brought her a plate and lay a soft kiss on her lips. 

Jolly set down my own plate and I thanked him with a wide smile. “Thank you, Jolly.” 

We sat in silence for a few moments as we ate while everyone else had their own conversations but when his rough fingers grazed over my knee, I turned my head to look at Jolly. 

“Did you ever figure out why the alarm went off last night?” 

I groaned while setting down my fork. “I’m not sure. When I checked it out, every door was locked shut so I’m unsure why the alarm went off.” 

“Maybe a glitch?” Jolly suggested while taking our plates to the sink. 

“Hm, maybe,” I tapped my fingers on the edge of the counter. 

He quickly returned to my side to grasp my hand and led me toward the evergreen sectional couch. He pulled down with him and I crossed one leg over the other and his hand immediately rested on my knee, tracing random shapes on the skin there. 

“You look beautiful,” Jolly mused. 

I tried to hide behind my hair so he couldn’t see the way I blushed at his comment. But he brushed it away, tucking it behind my neck to fully expose myself to him.

“Don’t hide, Astrid,” he said. 

I ran my hands over my thighs. “I’m a little nervous.”

“Because of me?” Jolly wondered, almost removing his hand from my knee but I placed mine over it. 

“Of dating in general, I suppose,” I admitted with a long breath. “This is the first time in a long while that anyone has shown any interest in me.” 

“I find that hard to believe,” he said while turning his body inward towards me. 

I shrugged, not wanting to meet his gaze. “I’ve been so busy with school before having to drop out to take over Fika that dating took a back seat.” 

Jolly’s fingers grazed over the back of my neck and I leaned into his touch. “So you never had time to focus on yourself?” 

“I guess, yes in a sense,” I agreed with a shrug. “I’ve never put my feelings first before anything so it’s a bit new.” 

“What are those feelings telling you right now?” He wondered, one hand on my knee and the other resting on the back of my neck. 

Swallowing thickly, I turned my face up towards him so our lips were meters apart. I watched as his gaze bounced from my eyes down to my lips to trace every movement of my tongue as it glided over them before resting on my eyes once again. 

“I would like to kiss you again,” I breathed while tracing a finger over the stubble on his chin. 

Something flashed in Jolly’s eyes before he peeked over my shoulder to see that everyone else had been preoccupied with other things then he linked our fingers together and gently but quickly pulled me up from the couch. 

“Would it be alright if we go up to my bedroom?” 

My heart skipped a beat at his question. While it was clear that Jolly was filled with anticipation for kissing me again, he still wanted to make sure I was alright with going up into his bedroom with him. 

A little too eagerly, I nodded which caused him to grasp my hips and lead me up the stairs, away from the small group of friends that pretended to ignore us slipping away. But quickly glancing back, I saw Y/n who was sitting on Noah’s lap on the couch, giving me a playful wink. 

In the seclusion of the upstairs hallway, Jolly stopped in front of a closed door but made no effort to open it. Instead, I felt his warm breath over my ear right before his lips pressed a tender kiss to my neck. 

“Are you sure?” He asked. 

With his hands still on my hips, I turned in his embrace to lock my arms around his neck. “I’ve been thinking about kissing you all day.” 

Not saying anything but keeping me in his embrace, Jolly opened the door and led me backward into his room. It was dark but my eyes quickly adjusted to his face as I heard him kick the door shut. There was an eerie silence in the confines around us but our heavy breathing seemed to break through it. My name was hushed on his lips as his hand grasped my cheek, the roughness of his fingers tracing over my bottom lip. I pressed a kiss to them causing him to suck in a breath. 

Jolly swallowed hard, his chest heaving with shaky whispers as he spoke again. 

“Nu när jag har dig vill jag inte släppa dig.”

Blinking up at him, I was rooted to the ground, spinning while standing straight. Dizzy in my blood and my soul. I was breathing like I was Icarus when he finally felt the air between his wax wings as he flew towards the sun like I’d been inhaling a special kind of oxygen you could only find in the clouds. I was trying to keep myself from breaking the spell between us to ask him what he said in Swedish. 

With his hand still caressing my cheek, Jolly leaned in so carefully all while breathing but yet not breathing. Our hearts beat between us and he was so close now, I could almost feel the softness of his lips. While our first kiss seemed to have a rushed start, it was as if Jolly wanted to enjoy the build-up; and take his time with me. 

I couldn’t feel my legs, my fingers, or the cold emptiness of this room because all I felt was Jolly everywhere, filling everything in and around me. Then all at once, Jolly’s lips were on mine, softer than anything I’d ever known. My hands found his chest, grasping his necklace between my fingers while one hand tangled in my hair and the other grazed up the bare skin of my thigh.

His lips were soft like the first snowfall of the season. They tasted like biting into cotton candy for the first time and the explosion of sweetness filling your mouth; so effortlessly sweet. I felt weightless while floating in the water when his tongue slipped between my lips and I moaned as our kiss deepened. Slowly, Jolly backed me up towards his bed and when I felt the edge of it smack against the back of my knees, the two of us fell into a heap of tangled limbs and tongues. 

I giggled into the kiss as he muttered a slew of curses. 

“I meant to be more suave with that,” Jolly admitted while marking my neck with tender teeth. 

I titled my head to the side, giving him more access. “I appreciate the effort.” 

Leaving the mark on my neck, he attacked my lips once again with such fever it made my head spin. Our teeth smacked against each other as our tongues devoured each other with such hunger. Jolly’s calloused hand grazed up my leg to my thigh before resting at the end of my dress. 

“Astrid,” he breathed when my hands slipped underneath his shirt. 

His skin was a blaze as my fingers danced across the waistband of his jeans which made him break away from our kiss, resting his forehead against mine. 

“Hang on,” Jolly muttered before untangling himself from me. 

“Did I do something wrong?” I asked, suddenly worried. 

Suddenly, a lamp clicked on, painting the room in a faint golden hue and it was then that I got a good look at Jolly. He was standing at the end of his bed now, while I lay on his bed on my elbows, and his dark eyes stalked me like a hunter with prey. His chest rose and fell with each deep breath and his lips were swollen from the force of our kiss. When I trailed my gaze down the long length of him, I nearly choked on a breath when I realized that I had done nothing wrong; his cock was prominent in his jeans, straining for release. 

Licking my lips, I locked eyes with Jolly again to see him take out the top half of his hair from its elastic, the strands falling to his shoulders in waves. 

“No, you didn’t do anything wrong, käraste,” he ran a hand over his face. “I just want to slow things down in case this isn’t something you wanted.” 

I sat up now and shook my head. “Jolly, if I didn’t have the slight inclination something more than just making out might happen tonight, I wouldn’t have agreed to come up here with you.” 

He nodded but still made no move to come back to bed, instead stuffed his hands deep into the pocket of his jeans. So briefly, I faltered and pulled my knees closer to me. 

“Unless this isn’t something you want?” 

“Käraste, all I want is you. The thought of you has overtaken every one of my thoughts the last few days,” Jolly admitted while taking a tentative step towards me. 

My heart beat wildly in my chest with his admission so I extended my hand towards him, inviting him back to his bed. The familiarity of his hands grasped mine as he knelt on his bed, towering over me. The knuckles with tattoos grazed over my cheek just before his lips met mine again. I allowed him to slip his hands now underneath my dress to pull it up over my head then tossed it to the floor. 

Pulling away from our kiss, Jolly sat back on his knees to gaze down at me wearing nothing but a pair of black panties; me kicking off my shoes when she tumbled to the bed together. 

“Fuck,” he sighed, eyes going dark with lust as he continued to stare at me. “You’re beautiful.” 

I cast my eyes downward with a blush which made Jolly lift my chin with a knuckle so I could peer up at him. 

“Don’t hide, Astrid. I want to see all of you.” 

I wasn't sure why I was nervous in front of him. I’d never been shy when it came to sex, knowing what I liked and being vocal about it, but now sitting in front of Jolly like this, I couldn't stop myself from hiding. 

He was gentle as his lips found mine again, this kiss slower, more sensual, as I leaned up into him while rising to my knees. I made quick work of taking off his shirt, only breaking our kiss for a moment, and scratched my nails over his chest, up to his shoulder. Jolly hissed in pleasure and then began to lie me back on his bed, the warm comforter bringing a sense of comfort to my chilled skin. 

Jolly began kissing over the tattoos across my chest, his hums of approval etched into me, and I leaned farther back into the mattress, exposing all of him to me. My pussy ached with such force, I needed some sort of pressure to alleviate the pain, so I grabbed Jolly’s hips to bring him closer to me, the rough material of his jeans brushing over the thin material of my underwear. 

“Shit,” I groaned.

Breaking away from littering my chest with tiny marks, Jolly sat up to quickly remove his jeans, joining the growing pile of our clothes on the floor. As he stood at the end of the bed, I assessed his tattoos the same way he had done mine. His entire left arm was covered in a sleeve of various designs. His chest had a woman with a mask and winged helmet, roses, and directly in the middle of his chest was a shining diamond. Gazling lower, I noticed he had a tattoo on his right knee. 

I licked my lips when I took in the full sight of Jolly, standing in front of me in his gray briefs, hair a disheveled mess from my hands running through it, and lips bruised from the force of our kiss. 

“Astrid.” His deep voice made my eyes snap up to his. “Are you sure?” 

“Please,” I nodded once, my voice hushed due to being lost in lust. Weeks of flirting, stolen glances, and soft touches had led up to this moment and I was in dire need of release. “I need you, Joakim.”

Darkness shadowed his eyes and slowly began crawling up my body, leaving small kisses along each of the tattoos on my leg, the one on my thigh, and my ribs. He linked his hand with mine which had the Medusa tattoo and locked it above my head. 

“Say it again,” he groaned into the crook of my neck, his cock pressing to the inside of my thigh. 

My nails raked down his back. “Joakim.” 

His chest rumbled low with a noise I’d never heard before as he quickly slipped off my underwear so now I was completely bare for him. Jolly’s finger brushed between my folds, gathering up the wetness between my legs, and I shivered underneath him. 

“So wet.” 

He slipped one finger inside of me then began a languid pace of fucking me with his finger. My eyes fluttered shut only for the briefest of moments until Jolly’s deep voice rasped in my ear. 

“Look at me, Astrid.” 

Snapping my eyes open, I watched him through hazy vision as Jolly peered down to my pussy, watching his finger disappear inside of me. 

“Faster,” I breathed. “Please.” 

All at once, Jolly’s pace quickened and when his warm mouth covered my left nipple, tongue and teeth teasing, I bucked my hips into his hand. My knees buckled when he added a second finger, spearing me wide open. 

“Joakim,” I moaned while grasping at the back of his head, keeping him in place. 

His actions on my nipple halted briefly. “Fuck, say it again. I need to hear you say my name again.” 

I did, like a mantra when my orgasm began to crest then all at once washed through me in a tidal wave. Just before I could scream out my release, Jolly swallowed them with a kiss so spellbinding, I couldn’t feel the pad of his thumb on my clit to work me through the aftershocks. With the heat of a second orgasm building, I ran my hands down his stomach to pull on the waistband of his briefs. Jolly understood because, with my help, he shimmed out of them before kicking them off to the side. 

Breaking away from the kiss, I stared down between us and let out a groan. His cock was long but thick and I licked my lips, suddenly wanting a taste. Using my strength, I pushed Jolly on his chest so he was lying on the bed now. 

“Käraste,” he warned. “I’m not going to last-.” 

I hushed him by grabbing his cock with a tight grasp. “Just a little taste.” 

Jolly jerked when my hand started to move up and down, spreading the precum around the head with my thumb. Glancing up at him through the strands of hair that fell into my face, my breath stuttered at the sight. His head was buried in the pillow, long forearm covering his eyes, but his lips were parted. The muscles in his stomach contracted as he forced himself to not let out a breath, anticipating my mouth sinking around him. 

So that's exactly what I did. 

Wetting my lips, I hollow my cheeks before taking Jolly in my mouth all at once, never once gagging. His guttural groans broke through the otherwise silent bedroom when I held myself there for a few seconds, my tongue pressing on the underside of his cock. Then my lips parted around his thick, veiny cock, tasting the salt of his precum in my mouth. I hummed in sheer approval, loving how he tasted and needing more of him. I slid down his shaft until my nose was buried in his dark hairs and his crown struck the back of my throat. 

“Fuck. Shit,” Jolly choked out and held my face in place with his hands before he began fucking my throat. 

I moaned around him as the tears gathered at the corner of my eyes and drool dribbled down my chin. But I refused to let him know I couldn’t handle it because I knew I could. 

“Astrid,” my name was strangled on his lips. 

Suddenly, his hips writhed underneath my nails as I clawed at him before I was pulled off of him with a loud pop and I squealed when he shifted our positions so now he was kneeling between my legs. Jolly leaned over to his bedside table to rummage through the drawer, immediately pulling out a condom. I swallowed thickly when the realization of what was about to happen sunk in. 

We’d already come this far, there was no way I’d deny us this. I wanted it just as much as he did. 

I needed this. 

But the fear of how it would change things between us lingered in the back of my mind while I watched Jolly roll the condom on his cock, hands shaking slightly. I noted that he was also nervous but opted to not say anything. 

Spreading my legs wide for him, Jolly angled the head of his cock towards me, and with a fast gaze up at me, I nodded. My back arched off the bed as my hands grasped at anything I could to keep myself centered when he sank his entire length inside of me. 

“Oh,” I whined a moan when the thickness of his cock filled me. 

“So tight,” Jolly grunted as his hips stilled, nipping his teeth on my breasts. 

We stayed like this for a few steady beats, our breaths syncing as soon as our bodies did. He lifted my thigh to my chest so he could bury himself deeper and I squeezed around him. 

“Please,” I husked while moving my hips. “I need you to move.” 

His eyes were blown wide with lust as leaned down to crush his lips to mine, immediately forcing his tongue in my mouth. Jolly’s hips began to move with such fever that the mattress beneath us began to creak. 

“Fuck, I forgot how loud my bed is,” he chuckled into the crook in my neck as he sucked on the tender skin there. 

In turn, I giggled but then hissed in sheer ecstasy when the head of his cock hit that perfect spot. The fire spread from my gut through my veins and when I clenched around him again, Jolly’s teeth grazed my ear, hips still holding his sensual, steady pace. 

“Touch yourself,” he urged. 

My fingers quickly the swollen nub between my legs and worked in the pattern I knew all too well; the one that would grant me the release that was about to break free. But I sensed that Jolly was holding back so I brushed the sweat-matted hair away from his face with my free hand, his dark eyes gone from pure bliss. 

“I need you to go faster. Please,” I sighed. 

While my body reacted in the most euphoric way to him, I needed him to hurt me in a sense. The harder and faster his cock slammed into me, the better it felt. 

Jolly laid a kiss on the inside of my palm. “I might not last long, käraste.” 

I paused my fingers against my clit to press a tender kiss on his lips, one he returned without a missed beat. 

“Neither am I. I’m so close, Joakim.” 

His head fell to my shoulder and nuzzled the side of my neck with his facial hair for a brief moment before pulling himself completely out of me. Before I could whine in protest, he flipped me to my stomach and dug his nails into my skin to hoist my hips up in the air. One large hand pressed against my back to keep me against the mattress while his other lined up his cock again however this time when he slipped inside, he was anything but gentle. 

My screams were muffled into the pillow when Jolly slammed into me from behind, over and over again with such force the headboard banged against the wall. Neither of us cared if anyone heard downstairs; only we mattered at this moment. The sound of skin slapping on skin tangled with the sounds of our moans of ecstasy and I thrived in the way his cock seemed to perfectly fit inside of me. His thickness filled me up completely. 

Reaching around, Jolly’s fingers found my clit and matched the pace with his hips, drawing fast circles in both directions and when his cock twitched inside of me, I knew that this was it. 

“Du är underbar, Astrid. Jag kan inte få nog av dig,” Jolly spoke into the skin of my back as he left a variety of kisses along my spine. 

I was gone in a haze of ecstasy that I didn’t even pick up my name in between the Swedish words. My toes curled with a scream when my second orgasm slammed into me without warning; without care to who heard us. 

“Joakim,” I writhed underneath him, my arousal coating the condom. 

Wrapping an arm around me, he lifted me so now I kneeled on the bed so he could fuck up into me. His fingers pinched and pulled on my nipples and I rested my head against his shoulder. 

“So warm. So perfect. Mina,” he promised with a kiss to the side of my head before Jolly finally emptied himself inside the condom.

We fell into a heap of exhaustion onto his bed then slowly, he slipped away from me so he could dispose of the condom. I lay there, clutching the pillow close to my chest as the exhaustion weighed heavy on my eyes. With all of the Swedish words Jolly had spoken to me, the last one was one I recognized. 

Mina. 

Mine. 

The bed dipped behind me and strong arms pulled me into a warm chest and I sighed in content. 

“Are you alright?” Jolly asked, pressing a kiss to the back of my shoulder. 

“More than alright,” I hummed while shifting closer to him; his cock twitched against my bare ass. 

His fingers traced up and down the skin of my ribs while we lay there in complete but comfortable silence. I looked around his bedroom noticing for the first time how boxes were scattered about and it was vaguely decorated. 

“We just moved in a few weeks ago. Haven’t found the time to unpack everything,” Jolly answered my silent question. 

“Well, maybe if you weren’t coming to a certain cafe every day, maybe you would find the time,” I teased while linking our hands together and kissing the tattoos on his knuckles. 

“I can’t help it. She makes the best kanelbullars,” Jolly retorted. 

“You know,” I began. “Never mind, it’s silly.” 

He tilted my head back so I could look at him. “Nothing you say is silly, Astrid. Go on, tell me.” 

Biting my lip, I turned in his embrace so now I was laying my head on his chest and my left leg was thrown over his hips almost locking him in place. The touch of his fingers along my back brought chills to my skin so he covered us with a black throw blanket that honestly, only covered me but he never complained. 

“When I first took over Fika after my father passed away, I had every intention of selling it. It took a toll on my grandparents when they owned it and they nearly got a divorce. Thankfully they were able to make it through but my parents weren’t so lucky,” I admitted. 

Jolly remained quiet as I continued. “They divorced when I was young and my mom wanted nothing to do with me or Fika claiming it was cursed, so she left. I stayed with my dad and helped out there every day until I went away to college.” 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered into my hairline. 

I shrugged. “College wasn't for me anyway so when-uh-when my dad got sick, I came back home to help him. His mind wasn’t right so he nearly went bankrupt.” 

“Sick?” 

Resting my chin on Jolly’s chest, I looked up at him. “Alzheimer’s. It took him pretty quickly so he didn’t suffer but as a result, he left me with Fika which was days away from closing. If it wasn't for my mormor investing more of her money into Fika, there’d be no way we’d be open right now.”

The corner of his mouth tilted up in a smile. “Mormor? So you do know Swedish.” 

I patted his chest with a snort. “Very little.” 

Jolly brushed a kiss along my forehead. “I’m sorry about your father.” 

With a tight-lined smile, I decided to continue with my original train of thought, not wanting to go into too much detail about my father and his death. 

Since you were the one who found him slumped over in his chair, pill bottles askew. 

“When my grandparents moved back to Sweden, all I had was my dad. It was the two of us for a long time so when he died a few months ago, I felt lost and alone. It made me realize how afraid I’d always been of being alone. I’ve trusted people too easily because of this fear and ended up getting my heart broken.” 

Jolly’s body tensed underneath me as I continued speaking, running my fingers over the tattoo on his chest. “With you, though. It’s been a nice breath of fresh air; something different. I haven’t had that fear since you walked into Fika that morning.” 

“You don’t have to be alone anymore. I’ll always be here for you.” 

I glanced up at Jolly. “But what I was getting at originally was that I had every intention to sell, ready to get rid of the place that held too many negative thoughts.” 

“But?” He caressed the side of my face. 

“But,” I smiled. “There have been far too many positive thoughts lately that outweigh the bad.” 

I kissed his chin, the stubble scratching my lips, and Jolly squeezed my hips. “I’m glad, Astrid.” 

Now I pressed a kiss to his lips, suddenly finished with talking, and straddled him. I pinned his hands above his head with one hand while I reached for his cock with the other. 

“Jolly!” 

Persistent knocking on his door made me hastily crawl off of him and reach for the first piece of clothing I could find; his tan long sleeve. Jolly sat up in bed to now cover both of our bottom halves with his large comforter. 

Giving me a quick glance, I nodded as he ran a hand through his hair. “Yeah?” 

Tentatively, the door opened and in walked Jesse, who had a container of blueberries in his hand, popping a few in his mouth as he stared at us with raised brows. 

“Oh, shit. Am I interrupting something?” 

Jolly ran a hand over his face with a groan. “Do you need something?” 

“Astrid left her phone in the kitchen and I think someone’s been calling her,” Jesse informed while tossing my phone on Jolly’s bed. 

Thanking him with a smile, I reached for it and sucked in a breath when I noticed all the notifications and missed calls; Jese and Jolly having a conversation amongst themselves. 

“Noah wants to know if you’re still up for working tonight.” 

Jolly nodded before looking at me, running a hand down my back. “Everything alright?” 

Ignoring him briefly, I looked towards Jesse. “How long has my phone been going off?” 

“Just a couple of minutes,” he said while popping a few more blueberries in his mouth. 

Glancing over at Jolly, I sighed. “It’s the cafe. The alarm has been going off the last few minutes. I disarmed it but should go over there to look to make sure everything is alright.” 

“I’ll come with you,” he said. 

I rested a hand on his arm. “It’s okay. It seems like you have work to do. Plus, Tori and Jessica are there with the police officers. I won't be alone.” 

Just then someone walked past Jolly’s room and scolded Jesse who was still leaning against the wall, stuffing handfuls of blueberries in his mouth. 

“Jesse Cash! What is your obsession with not only fruit but interrupting people?!” Y/N scolded while crossing her arms over her chest. 

“I was bringing Astrid her phone,” he defended. 

It didn’t matter to her because she waved him out of the room. “You’re unbelievable.” 

I did my best to giggle at the two of them but the worry about what could have tripped the alarm weighed heavy in my mind. Eventually, Jesse left the room but Y/N briefly peaked her head in. 

“Not trying to interrupt because I understand the feeling,” she chuckled before speaking to Jolly. “Um, Noah is ready to get to work whenever you are. Just because of the deadline-.” 

“I know,” he nodded. “Give me a couple of minutes. I’ll meet him there.” 

I was so lost in my own thoughts that I didn’t bother to ask Jolly what kind of work pulls him away this late. 

“Astrid?” 

Glancing away from the text I had been working out to Jessica, I smile at Y/N. “Yea?” 

“I’m leaving in a few minutes. I can walk with you to your car if you’d like,” she offered. 

“I’d like that, thanks Y/N,” I nodded with another smile. 

Closing the door behind her, both Jolly and I slipped out from underneath the blanket to get dressed back into our clothes. While I was stepping into my vans, I finished the text message I’d been trying to send Jessica for the last few minutes. 

Me: I’ll be there as soon as I can! I’m so sorry I wasn’t near my phone. Any idea what set off the alarm?

Jessica: No idea! We checked every single sensor and door, there should have been no reason for it to go off. Thankfully, Tori and I were still in the parking lot when it went off. We didn’t see anyone. 

“Käraste.” 

Glancing away from my phone, I hummed in response to Jolly who was handing me a sweater. “Take it, it’s cold outside.” 

When I reached for it, he pulled me into his embrace to lay a kiss on my lips. His tongue briefly brushed against my bottom lip before he pulled away. 

“Be careful,” he muttered to them. 

“I will,” with another peck, I stepped away from him to slip on his sweater. 

But before I could leave his bedroom, his fingers wrapped around my elbow to stop me. 

“The next few days I’ll be busy but maybe we can officially go on a date this weekend? Friday night?” 

“I’d like that,” I said with a wide smile but cursed under my breath. “I forgot Friday is my late night at the cafe. Saturday?” 

Jolly’s shoulders fell. “I have this thing for work. But I can bring you dinner Friday if you’d like. Keep you company.” 

My heart fluttered in my chest at the thought of that and I answered with a kiss to his cheek. 

“I’d love that. I’ll text you when I’m back home tonight.” 

With a small wave, I finally slipped through his bedroom door to make my way over to Fika. 

JOLLY

I lounged on my bed with my phone on my chest, aimlessly flipping through the channels, trying to find something to watch on the television. It'd been a long day of media press so I wanted to spend a little while decompressing before heading out to dinner tonight. 

For what seemed like the third time this last minute, I checked my phone to see if Astrid had texted me back. 

She didn’t. 

She hadn’t texted me back in four days. 

And it was all my fault. 

We texted earlier in the week almost non stop when we weren’t busy with work, talking more about our date for Friday. However by Wednesday afternoon, it ceased when I had to cancel because of last minute media press that showed up. With the recent debut of our third album, Bad Omens was one of the most sought after artists for podcasts and interviews. Hence what we’d been doing all weekend long. 

That wasn’t the reason why she stopped talking to you, though. 

Groaning at the thought, I looked back at the text thread between Astrid and I. 

Käraste: Oh, that’s okay. I understand that work comes first. I’m free most nights next week since Jessica is comfortable with closing up the cafe for me. 

Me: I’ll let you know what my schedule looks like. 

Käraste: Okay :)

Read at 3:32 pm on Wednesday. 

Käraste: I made a fresh batch of kanelbullars if you were planning on coming by tonight. 

Read at 5:03 pm on Wednesday. 

Käraste: I thought I’d let you know that I made it home safe and the alarm company fixed the glitch with my system. So finally, it’s all figured out. 

Read at 10:21 pm on Wednesday. 

Me: 👍

Käraste: Not sure if you’re planning on coming in today but I have a lot of office work to get through so if I don’t see you that's why. 

Read at 10:00 a.m. Thursday. 

Käraste: I could always work in your booth, if you don’t mind my company. 

Read at 10:03 a.m. Thursday. 

Then with a shaky breath, I read the last message Astrid sent. 

Käraste: Message loud and clear, Jolly. 

Read at 11:47 p.m. Thursday. 

It was Monday now and I had every intention of replying back to her with my schedule for next week. Y/N mentioned in passing that she and Astrid had been texting and while she was hurt about me canceling our date, she understood why I had too. 

Did she though? You still haven’t told her who you are or what you do. 

The guilt of lying to Astrid and having to cancel ate away at me that it hindered me unable to respond. I found myself deep within my own head on if I’d be enough for her. Especially after our night together, I knew she deserved someone that would be home all the time and not on the road most of the year. 

That night replayed in my mind all the fucking time. All I could think about was the way she felt underneath me, the way she smelled; her scent still lingering on my pillows days after. The way she looked coming apart on my cock was stuck on a loop, so much so that a little while ago I was in the shower with one hand leaning against the wall and the other wrapped around my cock. 

A stern knock echoed in my hotel room and with a sigh, I turned off the television and dragged my feet over to it; already expecting who it was on the other side. 

“You have some explaining to do, Jolly,” Y/N scolded as she pushed her way inside my room, Noah trailing behind with a sorrowful smile. 

“What did I do?” I asked, shutting the door behind them. 

“What did you do?” Her eyes widened before she ran a hand through her brown hair. “Astrid told me you’ve ghosted her?” 

I stuffed my hands in my sweater pocket before falling into my computer chair with a huff of breath. “It’s complicated.” 

“How?” Y/N demanded while tapping her foot on the ground. “Because from the outside looking in, I see someone that was hurt by the choices you made. You hurt her, Jolly. She thinks she did something wrong and pushed you away. ” 

“She didn’t,” I sat up, resting my elbows on my knees. 

Noah sat on the edge of my bed but Y/N instead let out a long sigh before sitting next to him. 

“We know that,” Y/N pointed between her and Noah. “But Astrid feels that since the two of you slept together, you got what you wanted and now you don’t want anything to do with her.” 

“That’s not-,” I began. 

“Hang on,” Noah spoke up for the first time, shaking his head. “You and Astrid slept together?” 

My cock twitched in my sweats when the memory of the two of us tangled in the sheets came to mind. 

“The night of the housewarming party,” I admitted. “How did you know?” 

Y/N shrugged. “Girl talk. She needed someone to confide in and with my own experience, I felt like I could give her the advice she needed.” 

“Your own experience?” Noah raised her brows at her. 

“Ok while I don’t have experience of being ghosted, per say. I do have experience on what happens when you don’t talk about the things bothering you,” she said while rolling her eyes

“I didn’t expect for it to end up like this. But with how busy we’re going to be the next few months, it won't work. This is a perfect example. We have been busy the last few days with media bullshit. Astrid doesn't even know who we are. I had you guys keep Bad Omens a secret from her the night of the party. What kind of relationship starts off with lies?” 

“So you think it’s better to ignore her after having sex with her?” Y/N’s voice was raised. 

I winced at her words. “I didn’t mean to.” 

“Jolly, while you didn’t physically leave her to go somewhere, you left her emotionally. You ignored her and expected what? To have a positive outcome?” 

“No,” I shifted in my seat. “I just don’t want to disappoint her with always having to leave for a tour. She’s had a rough life from what she told me. She’s all alone.” 

“Exactly why what you did was a dick move,” Y/N said sternly but then apologized when Noah gave her a look. “I’m not trying to be a jerk, Jolly. But can you see it from where Astrid is coming from?” 

“I understand,” I nodded. “It was wrong of me to ignore her the last few days. But I was afraid of not being enough for her; being what she needs.” 

“You’re projecting a feeling that doesn’t even exist,” Noah said.

I snorted. “The two of you see a shrink once a week and all of a sudden you have PHD’s.” 

“We’re just-,” Y/N began while leaning forward. 

I waved her off. “No, I know, I’m sorry. You’re right. The irony of all this. Here I thought I had it all figured out, when I tried pushing the two of you together and now here I am doing the opposite of what I thought.” 

“You’re only human, you know. And that’s okay if you might have not learned from your mistakes.”

“I know. I’m not usually the one that wallows in my mind. I’m the one that helps people out of these situations. So, thank you guys for being here; pulling my head out of my ass.” 

Y/N smiled while resting her head against Noah’s shoulder. “It’s what we’re here for, Jolly. Think of it as returning the favor.” 

Noah left a gentle kiss on top of her head before looking at me. “You should at least call Astrid. Let her know that you’ll explain everything to her, but you just need time because this way of thinking or feeling is new for you.” 

To lighten up the mood a smidge of guilt in her chest. “Calling the kettle black here, it doesn’t have to be complicated. You deserve happiness too Jolly, don’t- don’t do that. Call her.”

I sighed while leaning back in the chair. “What you two did, whatever you went through to get where you are, it’s different. I’m not sure if this, whatever it is, will work. It’s easier for you both because you understand this life, Y/N. I can’t expect Astrid to drop everything like that to come with us, or be with me like that. Fika is her life, she cant leave that behind.” 

“You don’t know that,” Y/N reassured me with a warm smile. 

Noah rubbed her back. “We can’t sit here and say anything that hasn’t already been said. But, if we can say one thing; communicate. Talk with Astrid and tell her the truth. You’ll never know if you don’t. You deserve happiness, just as much as anyone else and I think she really adores you. So just at least if anything, talk to her.”

“Just don’t take 6 months to say something,” Y/N added in with a chuckle. 

I snorted while rising to my feet, going about my room to gather my phone and wallet since we were about to head out to dinner.  “Your telenovela was enough for me. I’ll use my words.” 

“I’m shocked you even pronounced that word so well,” Y/N mocked. 

“Kiss my ass Joakim, we use words,” Noah nudged my shoulder when he stood. 

“Yeah, most of them start with don’t and end with stop,” I shot back with a smirk.

Y/N gasped while smacking the back of my head. “Okay now you’re being an ass for real.” 

“Don’t pry in my love life,” I playfully pushed her. 

“Oh, I see how it is, ” Noah chuckled. 

For the first time in a few days, I felt lighter in my steps and felt as if things would be alright with Astrid and I. Just as soon as I talked to her. Making a mental note to swing by Fika after dinner, I retreated down stairs to the living room where Nicholas and Folio were waiting for us; the five of us meeting the others for dinner. 

“Jolly,” Y/N grasped my wrist to stop me from following everyone outside. “Don’t let your worries ruin this because you deserve happiness too. You do.” 

I wrapped my arm around her shoulders in a hug, pressing a peck to the top of her head. “Thank you, Y/N. But who’s to say she’ll even want to talk to me after how I ignored her.” 

“Don’t start that. I know that kind of thinking all too well. Just go with the flow. Let it happen naturally. You’d be surprised to find out how Astrid feels about you,” she patted my cheek before running to catch up to Noah, jumping onto his back. 

ASTRID

No. 

No. 

No. No. No. 

Glass crunched underneath my boots as I walked farther into Fika, everything in disarray at my feet. Plants overturned with dirt spilled everywhere, glass from the front door shattered into hundreds of little pieces, coffee machines and the turbo ovens were destroyed. The safe in my office was broken into with $5000 missing; I planned on going to the bank tomorrow morning to make the deposit; like I did every Tuesday. 

But through all the destruction, there was only one thing that I was the most upset about. 

My grandfather's guitar. It was stolen. 

I continued to stare up at the guitar wall, four out of the seven guitars missing, and I swallowed the burning tears, refusing not to cry. 

When I got the call at about eleven this evening from the alarm company that yet again it was tripped at Fika, I thought nothing of it so I disarmed it from my phone and took my time getting here. So when I walked into a scene of pure chaos and destruction, immediately my heart sank to my stomach. Someone had broken into Fika by breaked the glass of the door and stepping through it. They trashed the entire place; cups and plates thrown against one of the walls and couches ripped apart by what I assumed was a knife. 

I had been in such a state of shock that I had yet to call the police to report it because as soon as I saw the missing guitar, I became in a catatonic state. The last few days had been incredibly rough with Jolly ignoring me so when I walked into this scene, it was the very last thing I could handle. 

I’d been plagued with the worry that I’d done something wrong to push Jolly away, even saying my thoughts to Y/N. But she tried to reassure me that he didn’t mean to do what he did and I should talk to him about it. 

But the thing was, I did try to talk to him. I continued to text him for days after he canceled our date but even though he never sent a message back, I received it loud and clear; although it didn’t stop me from continuously checking my phone and almost sending a few texts to him. 

The noise of glass crunching caused me to swirl around in defense, holding my breath. However when I saw those dark eyes staring at me with shock, the tears I’d been holding finally broke free. 

“Käraste.” 

I shook my head widely. “N-no.” 

Jolly took a tentative step farther inside, doing his best to step over the destruction at his feet. “What happened?” 

I scoffed and outstretched my hands. “What the fuck does it look like, Jolly? Someone broke in and vandalized the place.” 

“Are you alright?” He asked while reaching for me. 

“Oh, now you give a shit about me? Where the hell have you been the last five fucking days?” I sneered, taking a step away from him. 

“Kär-.” 

“Stop!” I snapped, pointing a finger at him with tears falling. “Stop fucking calling me that. You don’t get that right anymore.”

He scratched at the facial hair on his chin, it was thicker than the last time I saw him, but I tried my best not to fall into his embrace again with one look into his striking eyes. 

“I know. I owe you an explanation,” Jolly ran a hand through his long hair.

I wrapped the sweater tighter around me; his sweater. The one he gave me that night. 

“You don’t owe me anything, Jolly. You made it clear how you felt about me after fucking me.” 

His jaw ticked. “Don’t say it like that, Astrid.” 

“It’s clear that’s the only thing you wanted,” I shrugged. “So now that you got it, you can leave.” 

Turning my back on him, I went to work cleaning up the mess, but when gentle fingers wrapped around my elbow, I ripped myself from his grasp. 

“Don’t touch me,” I seethed with a choked breath. 

The depths of Jolly’s eyes faltered as he gazed over my broken appearance. Hair thrown up into a very messy bun, his gray sweater, bright green sweats that were my pajamas, and my black rain boots; literally rolling out of bed to come here. My tears were red and cheeks blotchy from crying. But I didn’t care how I looked in front of him because my livelihood was destroyed. 

Fika was destroyed. 

Jolly’s eyes glanced away from me up to the guitar wall behind me and I could see the air leave his chest. 

“You’re grandfather’s guitar,” he noted. 

“Yep,” I popped the ‘P’ while kicking a knocked over plant. “Whoever did this also took the bell above the door; the one my grandparents brought over from Sweden.” 

He looked over to the front door, the glass from the panes shattered so the cold air seeped inside, and let out a sigh when he noticed the missing bell above the door. Then when Jolly turned back to me, I quickly averted my gaze to the mess around me. 

“Astrid, please,” Jolly begged. “Let me explain.” 

I narrowed my eyes. “There’s nothing to explain, Jolly. I bore myself to you physically and emotionally that night. I felt betrayed by you!” 

“I didn’t-.” 

“I told you how afraid I was of being alone. You told me that you’d be here for me but you fucking left. You lied,” I blew out a shaky breath while running a hand through my hair. 

“I trusted you and you still hurt me.” 

Jolly went to reach for me again but I smacked his hands away, the sound of skin on skin echoing around us. 

“You need to leave; now,” I motioned to the broken door yet again. “I want nothing to do with you anymore.”

“Astrid-.” 

“GO!” I pushed his chest, tears streaming down my face. “There’s nothing else between us. We fucked and that’s it. You can leave and forget all about me.” 

Jolly grasped my hands on his chest, keeping me close to him. “I don’t want to.” 

“I don’t care, Jolly. How can I trust that you won’t do that again?” I slipped my hands out from his hold and hastily wiped away the tears. 

Even though he looked so inviting dressed in his sweater and sweatpants, I kept myself from not stepping into him and running my hands through the waves of his hair. 

“Please leave,” I sobbed. 

Jolly didn’t move. 

Letting out a frustrated groan, I pushed him again towards the door. “Fuck you! I trusted you.” 

Another push. 

“That’s all you wanted, right? Just sex?” 

Another push. 

“Well congrats. You got it and now you have no other obligation from me, so you can leave!” I cried with the final push out the open door. 

Not once did Jolly fight me, simply letting me get my anger out with my force against his chest. When he was finally back on the sidewalk outside, I slammed the door in his face, which did absolutely nothing since he could walke through the part of the door where the glass had been broken. But it was the sentiment before the slamming of it in his face. 

With my back to him, I ignored him calling after me with my nickname and disappeared into the back area of the cafe to wallow in my miseries before figuring out what the fuck I was going to do now. 

ASTRID

Humming a tune to myself, I tapped the sign to the newly fixed front door and tapped it for good luck. 

Closed for a private party. Will resume normal hours tomorrow. 

I stepped back inside of Fika and gave a small smile to the blonde man as he paused setting up tables to meet me halfway. 

“I really do appreciate you letting us use your place for this, Astrid.” 

I waved Matt off before stuffing my hands in the back pockets of my jeans. “Oh, don’t even worry about it. I’m glad I’m able to help out for this pop up event. You said it’s for a band you manage?” 

“Yep,” Matt said while adjusting his hat. “They recently released their third album and we wanted to promote it so we invited fans to this event to meet the band, buy some merch, and get a signed poster.” 

“That’s pretty fucking sweet,” I smiled. “Which reminds me, I had my manager Jessica put together a playlist for today. You said the band's name is Bad Omens?” 

He shifted on his feet while clearing his throat. “Yeah.” 

“Perfect, just let us know when you want us to play it and I’ll have it come through the speakers.” 

With a small wave, I missed the look that Matt shared with Bryan, who was also here helping set up, as I met Jessica behind the counter while she adjusted her new nametag to make sure it was perfectly straight. 

Jessica. Manager. 

After the break in a few weeks ago and realizing how much work I’d been putting on my shoulders, I decided that I needed help for the back of house things. With Jessica’s prior experience at management, she was perfect for the job. 

Jessica, Tori, Sean, and I spent a few days putting things back together and replacing what we could in Fika. And once news hit the city that someone had broken in, people donated items or showed up to help fix things that I couldn’t. I remember trying my best not to cry at the sincerity of the people from this small community. Fika opened a week after the break in and business had been insane since.

But when I received an email from Matt last week wondering if he could rent out Fika for a private event, I immediately agreed even though he was friends with Jolly. The money Matt offered to book out the entire cafe was exactly what I needed to build up the savings that were stolen from the safe. 

Jolly. 

I hadn't heard from or seen him since he stopped by that night of the break in and I knew I should have been fine with it since I told him to leave; to never speak to me again. But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t hurting on the inside. 

Jessica, Sean, and Tori often wondered why he stopped showing up and not wanting to go into much detail about what happened between us, I kept my answer simple. 

“He’s busy with other things.”

Other guys tried to flirt when they came in, tried to get my number, but every time I declined and told them I wasn’t interested. Which was true. But another reason was because none of them were Jolly. He was all encompassing, always on my mind even when I forced myself to think of something else; anything else. 

My mind wandered to Jolly and the darkness of his eyes. The way his lips tasted or the way he sounded when I had my mouth wrapped around him. I found myself missing the way he smelled, the way he tasted, and the light that encompassed around him whenever he walked into Fika. My heart yearned to see his smile once more and my soul was desperate for the connection it missed. 

He fucked you then ignored you for five days. 

Yeah but-.

No buts. You told him how afraid you are of being alone and he did the exact same thing.

Deciding not to argue with my thoughts any longer, I forced a smile at Jessica. “How are things going?”

She nodded. “Good. Sean is in your office finishing up the playlist and Tori is helping Matt and Bryan set up.” 

“Perfect. The three of you can head out if you’d like. There’s no need for you guys to be here today.” 

Jessica’s eyes lit up and Tori popped up from the front of the counter. “Wait, really?” 

I chuckled at Tori. “Yeah. It’s a beautiful spring day outside. You guys should go enjoy the rest of your Saturday.” 

Tori and Jessica shared a look before they scurried to the back to gather their things, their giggles echoing far behind them. Shaking my head at them, I decided on running a fresh pot of coffee for Matt and everyone else who was here setting up for this event. Sean came bounding up to the front counter with a wild look in his eyes until they landed on me. 

“Jeez, where’s the fire?” I joked with a hand on my hip. 

“Astrid,” he took a few deep breaths. “I need to tell you something.” 

“Hey, Astrid?” 

Pointing a finger at Sean, I turned around and smiled at Bryan. “Do you guys need something?” 

He adjusted the camera that hung around his neck. “I was going to snap a few shots and wanted to make sure you were ok with it? Since it’s your place.” 

Immediately I nodded. “Definitely. You don’t even have to ask, Bryan. Although, any bad shots you get of me you delete right away.” 

“Deal,” he chuckled. “Is it alright if I get a shot of the guitar wall? The lighting from the sun casting over it looks sick.” 

I nodded again and watched as Bryan walked over to the wall, a stinging pain digging deep into my heart. Over the last few weeks I’d been able to replace all but one of the guitars that was stolen; my grandfathers. So there was still this empty spot still in the middle, like the empty spot in my heart that was left due to Jolly’s absence. 

“Astrid,” Sean urged. “I was looking into this band, Bad Omens. And you’re not going to believe what I found. They’re huge in the rock scene right now; super popular since they released their third album.” 

“Fuck, that reminds me. Can you go hit play on the music? I think they’re going to be here soon and want to make sure it’s perfect,” I said, turning my attention back to the coffee. 

“The members of the band, there’s four of them-,” Sean tried again. 

I tilted my head at him. “I didn’t realize there was going to be a pop quiz about them?” 

He ignored my sarcasm and ran a hand through his bright blonde hair. “The guitarist is-.” 

“Better late than never! Fuck, you do realize that this thing starts in like ten minutes? We have the fans lined up in the back parking lot,” Matt chastised the group of people that just walked through the door; I was still getting used to not hearing the bell go off every time the door opened.

“Look, Sean, you can tell me all about them later. But I have to get to work. Go enjoy the rest of your Saturday,” I tapped his shoulder, dismissing him. 

His eyes darted to the group gathering in the dining area and with a sigh, Sean nodded before retreating to the back. 

As the conversations were hushed over the music that began to play, I moved along to the lyrics, finding myself drowning under the hypnotizing spell of the voice from the vocalist of Bad Omens. I set up a row of paper cups and with the pot of fresh, hot coffee, I turned on my heels ready to offer everyone some but froze in place with what I saw. 

Noah. 

Nicholas. 

Folio. 

The three of them were gazing at how everything was set up, smiling with pride. But none of them had my attention, it was the man that stood directly on the other side of the counter in front of me. His long hair was pulled back in a tight bun, those dark eyes and sharp cheekbones on display. The faint nose ring caught the overhead light and I bit my lip at how gorgeous he looked. 

“Käraste.” 

I blinked, breaking free from Jolly’s spellbinding gaze and glanced over to where everyone else was watching us. Next to the table where Bad Omens would be sitting was a large banner behind them that had a picture of all four of them. My mouth ran dry as I continued to bounce my eyes back from Jolly to the large banner, my brain slow to catch up that he was part of this band, along with his friends. 

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” I spat with furry. 

My grip around the pot of coffee slipped causing the burning liquid to spill on my hand before crashing to the ground. 

Glass shattered and I hissed out in plain while clutching my hand to my chest, quickly scurrying to the back in such a haste. Tears brimmed at my eyes for not only the pain but also seeing Jolly again, finding out that he was part of this band. A pretty popular one according to Sean yet I had never even heard of them. 

Had they all lied to me about who they were when I went to their party? 

Well, technically you never asked what any of them did.

Ripping open the freezer door with force it slammed against the wall, I rummaged around for an ice pack to apply to my hand.

“Astrid?” 

“No! No!” I spun on my heels to face Jolly and dropped the ice pack in the process. “I don’t want to see you.”

“You hurt yourself. Let me help you,” Jolly’s comforting voice carried in waves as he stepped farther into the back area of the cafe as I fell onto the stool that was in the break area. 

I wanted to cry so fucking bad because of the pain in my head, it red and angry because of the burn, but I refrained. I couldn’t.

“I don’t need your help, Jolly. Please. I’m still upset with everything and now finding out about-,” the words died on my tongue when my bottom lip trembled. 

“I know.” He bent down to pick up the ice back and a towel from the rack, wrapping it up. 

Slowly, almost afraid to push me farther off the edge, Jolly closed the distance between us. Then he reached for my hand, calloused fingers turning it over to inspect the burn. I was in too much pain to fight him and frankly, exhausted from arguing with him. 

I missed him. His presence. His aura. His smile. The way the room lit up when he stepped in it. The positive aspect he had on everything. 

But I was still upset with him. 

I hissed in agony when he gently pressed the ice pack to the burn but grumbled a thank you under my breath. Silence fell between us for a long moment and I kept my gaze straight past him at the door that blocked us from everyone up front. 

“I know you’re surprised, and unhappy to see me here today,” Jolly’s voice broke through the tension.

“Understatement of the fucking century,” I snorted while bouncing my knee up and down. 

He sighed while setting the ice pack down on the table next to me. When I realized he was looking around for something, I pointed to the rack of shelves behind him. “First aid kit is on the third shelf. Burn spray, ointment, and wrap should all be in there.” 

I was glued to his form as he closed the distance with two wide strides to do his long legs and I couldn’t stop the way my bottom lip caught between my teeth when I realized how perfect his shirt hugged the muscles in his back or the way his jeans fit the perfect curve of his ass. 

Focus, Astrid. You’re supposed to be pissed at him. 

Jolly set the first aid kit on the table and began rummaging through it to find what he needed to wrap up my burn. Once he applied the spay, his warm breath fanned over my skin and I shivered at the feeling. 

“Can I explain everything?” He asked as he began wrapping my hand, after applying the ointment.

I kept my gaze on my feet. “What’s there to say, Jolly? You were pretty clear when you ignored me.” 

“And that was a mistake.” 

I sniffled. “Ignoring me or having sex with me because it feels like the entire thing was a mistake.” 

Once my hand was wrapped, Jolly cupped my face so I had no choice but to look up at him. “No. Ignoring you was a mistake and I’m very sorry. When I had to cancel our date for work, I felt so guilty because I knew with my career that it won’t be the last time that happens.”

“Why did you?” I asked, meek and quiet. 

“Well as you see out there,” he threw his thumb in the direction back outfront. “I'm the guitarist in Bad Omens and with how often I’m gone on the road touring or doing media, I was afraid.”

“Afraid of what?” I held my injured hand closer to my chest in a way to protect myself from Jolly. 

I couldn’t allow myself to open up to him again if his intentions weren’t pure. 

He hesitated while holding his breath before letting it out and running a hand over the thick hair on his chin. “Well, these things-romance. They can be complicated for people like me. I didn’t want to start something and then have you find out I won’t always be around.”  

“Jolly, you could have just talked to me. I would have understood,” I said. 

The corner of his mouth lifted as he chuckled, his hands now grazing up and down my arms. “I know, you’re right. I should have. I’m sorry, I never meant to ignore you. It was wrong of me to do.” 

“If you talked to me about it, be honest with me, we could have figured out the logistics of us later on. You didn’t have to hide who you were from me. I would have still fallen for you just the same,” I admitted. 

It was true. 

Now knowing that he played guitar in one of Los Angeles’ most popular bands, I didn’t think differently about him. My heart still beat wideley in my chest as his dark ember eyes drank me in. 

Jolly brushed a few strands of hair away from my face, fingers lingering on the side of my neck. “I liked being Joakim for a little while, not Jolly from Bad Omens.” 

“You’re still Joakim to me.” 

He smiled then lifted my injured hand. “How does it feel?” 

“It’s better than what it was. Thank you,” I did my best to smile despite the pain. 

Moments before he dropped my hand back in my lap, he pressed featherlike kisses across the bandage and I sucked in a breath, his name falling from my lips.

“I hope you can forgive me, Astrid. That night was special, it was one of the best nights I’ve had in a very long time. Being with you has been a breath of fresh air that I didn’t know I was looking for.”  

“It was for me too,” I bit my lip. “ I-I forgive you.” 

“Really?” Jolly eyes snapped up from the ground, full of light and hope.

I wrapped my good arm around him while opening my legs so he could step between them as I was still sitting on the stool. Almost quickly, his hands clasped around the back of my neck. 

“I’m fine with figuring things out as we go, Jolly. But, please don’t hurt me like this again. Just talk to me,” I rested my chin on his chest to peer up at him through my lashes.

“I can do that. I swear I can,” he brushed his lips over my forehead in a kiss. “Thank you, käraste.” 

Stepping up to close the distance, I pressed my mouth to his and breathed in content as the feeling of finally being home crept deep into my blood. I missed him so much, more than I’d ever admit. Yes, he may have hurt me but he apologized and proved that he was willing to change. 

We’ve all made mistakes but our mistakes didn’t make us. 

Jolly’s tongue brushed along my bottom lip before meeting mine in a lazily fight for dominance, one I was quick to win; not that he was complaining. He hummed into the kiss and his large hands skidded underneath my shirt to set the skin of my back a blaze. 

“Astrid?” 

Swiftly pulling away from Jolly, I wiped my mouth before glancing over to Noah, who was resting against the wall next to the door with a smug smile. 

“I see the two of you made up.” 

Giggling, I buried my face into Jolly’s chest to breathe him in, his voice vibrating against my cheek. 

“Do you need something, Noah?” He asked. 

“I’m sorry to kill the mood but the police are here. They want to speak with Astrid.”

Jolly tilted his head down towards me. “The police?” 

I nodded with a sigh. “I filed a police report because of the break in. I wonder if they finally have some news for me.” 

With a kiss to my cheek, he let me jump off the stool and hooked his fingers with my good hand as we made our way back up front; not before Noah ruffled Jolly’s hair as we walked past. 

Two officers were excitedly chatting with Nicholas and Folio when I walked up but turned serious when they saw me. 

“Astrid Akerman?” The taller office asked. 

I nodded while still holding onto Jolly’s hand. “Yes?” 

The bald officer spoke next. “We just wanted to stop in to tell you we found the group of kids that broke in here a few weeks ago. Turns out they trashed a few other places around here the last couple of months. We were able to arrest them last night as they tried to break into the therapist office next door and we found the items you claimed were stolen.” 

My heart leaped into my throat. “Wait, does that mean you found my grandfather's guitar?” 

The taller office points to the table behind us where there lay my grandfather’s blue Teisco Del Rey ET-312. Choking on a sob, Jolly went about thanking the officers while I hastily reached for the guitar, afraid it would slip through my fingers. 

“Astrid,” Jolly’s fingers grazed over my lower back. “Do you want me to hang it back up?” 

With tears in my eyes, I nodded. “Please. It hasn’t felt like Fika without it.” 

Standing in between Noah and Nicholas, I grinned watching Jolly as he stood on a chair with Bryan’s help to hang the guitar back on the wall. Once he was back on his feet, he pulled me back into his arms and I swung on my feet with him. 

“Thank you,” I pressed a kiss to his chest. 

“Anything for you, käraste.” Jolly breathed me in. 

When I first took over Fika months ago, I had every intention of selling. That was until one of my regulars not only changed my mind but also changed the trajectory of my entire life. 

“Jeez, the crowd out there is insane!” 

Spinning in Jolly’s grasp, I beamed at Y/N as she stepped inside, the ends of her olive green sundress trailing at her feet. She took one look at Jolly and I before breaking out in a wide smile. 

“Well, this is a sight to see.” 

Rolling my eyes at her, I stepped up on the tips of my toes to leave a tender kiss on Jolly’s cheek. “I’ll give you guys a few minutes to get settled before opening the side door for your fans.” 

He gently patted my ass to dismiss me and I squealed before walking over to Y/N, hooking my arm through hers after she greeted Noah with a kiss. 

“Would you like some mochis?” I asked. 

Her eyes widened with a bright gleam. “Yes please.” 

[justkpopjokes]

Seventeen As 7 Ways to Say “I Love You”

A/N: This has been in my wips since 2017 lmfao it has taken me 5 years to clear out my drafts

gender-neutral!reader and a mix of romantic and platonic!

Seungcheol 🐻

Bear hugs

Warm hugs

Spooning hugs (any hugs at this point)

Holding you tight so you feel safe

Stealing clothes so you smell like each other

Letting you fall asleep on him during train/bus rides

Walking you home to make sure you’re safe

Jeonghan 🌸

Sweet (literally) dates at cafes

Kisses on the tip of your nose

Bringing you flowers or bringing you to the flowers

Staying in bed with you under a warm blanket

Falling asleep on your lap

Knowing when you need to take a break (and making sure you relax)

Calling you his baby

Joshua ✨

Fancy dinners

Bringing your hands up to his lips to kiss them

Serenading you

A hand always around your waist

Asking you to double check his outfit every time you go out together

Going along with your shenanigans

Memorizing your order at every store

Junhui 🌙

Cheesy flirts

Complimenting how you look every damn chance he gets

Blowing up your phone with the most random things “effervescent”

Bad sweet puns

Leaning on you (so you can’t see him blushing when you finally flirt back at him)

Head pats

Picking you up and spinning you around

Soonyoung 🐯

Cheek kisses

Cheek squishes (and calling you cute afterwards)

Holding your hand(s) all the time

Dancing to music in the kitchen

Losing track of time from laughing too much

Trips to the zoo! to see the tigers, duh

Showing his goofiest self to you

Wonwoo 🍵

Intwined fingers when holding hands

Cuddling up on the couch with tea and a book

Letting you lie on his chest

Rubbing your shoulder absentmindedly when you’re beside him

Bringing you to libraries and bookstores with him

Too many inside jokes

Listening to you ramble

Jihoon 🎶

Kissing the side of your head

Lovestruck humming

Dedicating music to you

Letting you sit on his lap while he works

Taking your advice/words to heart

Letting you hear the snarky comments he makes under his breath

Putting you first, always, even if he’s busy

Seokmin ☀️

Gifts in tiny boxes

An overload of kisses

Staying in bed longer than you should

…Then forcing you to come back and cuddle for a bit longer after you get up

Always trying to make you laugh

Being there to cheer you up whenever you’re feeling down

Making every mundane part of life fun

Mingyu 🐶

Driving you home when you’re too tired to take the bus or drive yourself

Cooking your favourite food when you’re having a bad day

Holding your head close when he hugs you

Drifting to sleep whilst holding you in his arms

Resting his head on yours

Walks in the park while listening to music

Trusting you to patch him up whenever he hurts himself

Minghao 📸

Making time to see you every chance he gets

Painting and museum dates

Taking pictures/videos of you all the time

Keeping an album on his phone of his photos of you

Coordinating outfits

Gazing over at you to admire you constantly

Holding all your things when you need to do something

Seungkwan 🍊

Buying you things you want, even if you try to keep them a secret

Yelling your name across the room just to say that you look gorgeous af

Linking arms/holding hands without thinking

Touring cities together

Watching the sunset

Taking you on vacations to Jeju

Telling you “happy birthday” at midnight, every year

Vernon 🙈

Texting a greeting to you first thing in the morning

Pulling his arms around you even without thinking

Touching your noses together

Soft kisses

Whispering jokes to make you smile

Getting distracted listening to your voice

Sending memes (ofc)

Chan 💫

Meaningful gifts

Late-night snack escapades

Letting you hear all his new ideas

Asking for cuddles once he gets home from work

Cute laughs at your jokes

Long calls that last until long past midnight

…which end with falling asleep on the phone together

[mmst4rz]

'a change of mind'

"FUCKED ME SO GOOD I ALMOST SAID 'I LOVE YOU'."

about. public safety, special division 4 was having a welcome party for the new recruits, being obligated to go, you went, but left with someone you yearned yet loathed, aki hayakawa.

pairing. toxic!aki hayakawa x fem-bodied!reader

genre. fic, explicit, angst (maybe)

things to note. toxicity (duh), nsfw themes but no smut, reader is delusional asf, drinking, h*meno and m*kima, mentions of canon typical violence, implied dubcon.

🎧 : normal fucking rockwell, lana del rey

mm's note. i was literally watching an aki edit with 'les' by childish gambino and i was like...toxic aki. (lets be fr he wouldn't ACC be toxic)

Tokyo Special Division 4 was having a welcome party for the new recruits, inviting everyone out for drinks. Originally, you had planned not to attend it to avoid him, but from Ms. Makima's orders, 'every devil hunter in the division must attend to get to know one another.'; which you found pointless because it was more than likely that most of them would be dead and gone in weeks' time. you slipped on your work pants, deep in thought. You knew you would see Aki Hayakawa there, after all he was one of the 'most trusted' devil hunters in the division and was even apart of Makima's 'special squad'.

You and Aki went years back, knowing him when he first joined public safety and when he had his hair short. Hell, even knowing him before he started his smoking habit. He was much more pure back then, despite watching his family flash before his eyes, he still had that glint of innocence reflecting off of his midnight eyes. Now he was gloomy, uninterested in everything around him besides his reason to strive, to dedicate his life to destroying the Gun Devil once and for all. His personality dimmed as well as his eyes, always staying lidded with a stern facade to hide the trauma from his cold past. After all, working in public safety, you were bound to lose your spark of clarity.

;;

To put it simply, you and Aki had an unprofessional relationship, starting out with light flirting, to late-night drinks at the best bars, to seeking out each other for comfort when work got too intense, looking for a stress reliever to wash all the horrid thoughts away. At first, he showed much love and care when you started linking, cooking breakfast for you before work, or running a bath with you while massaging your tense shoulders from the night before. He typically wouldn't do this for a link-up but he thought he cared about you more than others, and you did too.

Time went on, and he lost his desire for you, just wanting a quick fuck, not caring about your well-being as before. Now, the night typically would end with Aki shuffling to put on his clothes and leaving without a word nor a glance of acknowledgment while drawing a cigarette from his back pocket. As much as this sent warnings to avoid him in your head, you couldn't help but still be drawn to his deep midnight hair and his aura, heart yearning for more than just sex.

Aki eventually stopped responding to your advances, he ignored your late-night texts at 11pm or later, he ignored you as you tried to talk to him as he walked by, and he acted as if you were mere strangers. The devil hunter, found himself around Makima more, discussing his daily report of the latest devil to be slaughtered. Aki also found himself accompanying Himeno, taking a lengthy smoke break as she cracked some jokes to pass the time. You buttoned up your blouse more agitated than before, grimacing at the thought, shaking your head at the thought of him whispering how good you felt around him as he sunk into you, it was in the past, he didn't care like you thought he did. You slipped on your shoes before grabbing your keys, phone, and wallet and walking out the door.

;;

You walk inside, the bell clinging as you pushed the door open to one of the most familiar bars in Tokyo, the scent of alcohol charring your nostrils, leading to eyes wandering to your figure. "There she goes!" Himeno beamed as she saw you head toward the area the devil hunters resided. "Hey," you say in a neutral tone, feeling those dark eyes of his glance at you. You refused to meet his eyes, refused to fall deeper into the deep sea they withheld. "Glad you could join us," Makima says, her head resting against her palm. "Glad I could make it." you smile slightly, a lie. You sat down on the cushion between Himeno and presumably, a new devil hunter. "You can order what you'd like, the bill will be taken care of by me," Makima states as she takes a sip of her beverage. "Thank you Ms. Makima," you hum gratefully as you placed an order for your desired drink. A multitude of conversations was erupting amongst everyone at the table until Himeno slurred out, "Wait a minute, where the hell is Fushi's rookie at?" "Unfortunately, they were killed yesterday," Fushi responded. The scared faces of the rookies almost made you feel bad for them, but what could they expect? Your drink finally came out, taking a slow sip, savoring the burn it provided to your tastebuds.

The night grew older, the sun setting behind the clouds, nearly everyone was tipsy, including yourself. Some had even gone home already including Himeno as well as a new recruit named Denji. "Can we talk, outside." Aki said, clearly directing it at you. It sounded like a command and as if it was not a question. Avoiding causing a scene, you stood up, smoothing out your pants, and walked outside, him following behind you. "what do you want Hayakawa?" you glare at him, you put on a front as if you didn't care about Aki ignoring you, in reality, you wanted him back in your small apartment, laying beside you as the sun shone through the blinds, trying to sneak a few more minutes in bed before you both had to get ready for work. you attempted to avoid him to the best of your ability, which thankfully wasn't hard to do. The burning embarrassment of being let down hurt more than you'd like. The only time you had to come face to face with him is when you were paired up for missions, which in itself, was rare. Though you were not in the best state of mind at the moment, you still had enough consciousness not to tell him how you truly felt.

"You wanna come home with me?" He said, pulling out a cigarette, as well as his lighter. "For what?" you already knew the answer, but you wanted to believe differently. "To fuck, what else?" he said, putting the cigarette between his lips you wanted to kiss oh so bad. He lit the cigarette, slipping the lighter back into his back pocket, taking a deep inhale. "seriously? after ignoring me for months, you ask to fuck?" he was unbelievable. "Yea." was all Aki said, short and simple, how he preferred things. "I'm not going home with you." another lie. "we'll see" he grinned slightly, looking up at the now midnight blue sky, he didn't believe you for a second, he knew how tonight would end. You walked back into the bar, your mind racing as you thought with your brain and heart. Your heart yearned for him and his sweet touch, yet your mind was telling you to ignore him, he just wanted you for your body. you sat back down at the table where only 4 of your coworkers were left. "what happened?" one of them asked, earning a nudge from another, clearly perceiving it wasn't anything good. "nothing." you said, all you wanted to do was drink your thoughts away.

;;

Several drinks later you were spent, the sting of the booze did not help with your thoughts, just made them worse. You down the last of your drink, grabbed your things, and slurred out. "imma head home." Hearing a few words of acknowledgment from the devil hunters, you swayed out the door meeting those same midnight-blue eyes of his. "headin' home?" Aki said, puffing out a cloud of smoke. "mmhm..." you hummed out. "Let me take you there, yeah?" he said, flicking out his cigarette onto the sidewalk and crushing it under his foot.

You let him wrap his arm around your shoulder, leaning into it, cherishing it, because it didn't matter to you at that moment how long he would be there, you would cherish him as if it was the last time you'd see him, maybe it would be the last, who knew when he had a change of mind again.

BACK TO NAV. | © MMST4RZ 2023. please do not repost, modify, copy, use or translate my works on any platform.

[shanardo13]

Obikin College Au - RA/Don! Obi-Wan/First Year! Anakin - Part Three

Honestly, at this point I should probably just start writing it, but I keep thinking of little ideas for this au and want to keep track of them, so I present to you: Part Three 😈

Link to Part One

Link to Part Two

At this point, they are becoming inseparable - Ahsoka would say insufferable. Both are applicable.

Whenever Anakin has errands to run, he texts Obi-Wan to come with him. Obi-Wan has started to do the same. Now most of their outings involve running errands for each of them.

Anakin: u free? I gotta hit Walmart and get supplies for my project.

Obi-Wan: yeah I’m free. Think u could get it from staples at the mall instead?

Obi-Wan: I wanna go to Sephora and Hot Topic. Need eyeliner and I wanna look at band shirts.

Anakin: omfg 🙄

Anakin: jk jk that sounds perfect! Meet outside subway station in ten?

Obi-Wan: sounds good!

And then they meet in front of the subway station like they planned.

They both bring earbuds to the subway, so really they could listen to their own music, but they never do. Instead they share a pair and sit huddled up together, taking turns picking songs.

They can both be kind of pretentious with music, so they work well together. Despite their differences, they impress each other with their knowledge and love of the same music.

“Anakin, Wings is leagues better than Plastic Ono Band, and anyone who doesn’t think so is just stupid.”

“Oh, McCartney is just bubblegum pop and we both know it, Obi. At least Lennon had substance.”

“Substance abuse issues, maybe.”

“Can we at least agree that Harrison’s work is significantly underrated?”

“Oh definitely. All Things Must Pass is the best post-Beatles solo album in my opinion.”

“Yes! Thank you! Do you want to listen to it?”

When they get to the mall, they immediately head to their favourite little coffee shop in the centre of the food court. Obi-Wan always buys, so Anakin usually makes it up to him by finding him a little gift.

“You just want your regular?”

“Obi-Wan, I’ve told you numerous times. I can afford my own coffee. You don’t have to buy it for me.”

“Shut up, I want to.” He turns to the employee and repeats their drink orders. “And a strawberry danish please!”

They sit in the food court while they drink their beverages and Anakin eats his danish, conversation flowing endlessly. Lots of inside jokes and giggles are shared. Then they continue on with their shopping.

They go to staples first, as Obi-Wan has dubbed it the ‘not-fun’ part of their trip.

“Anakin, you’re getting office supplies for a school project. Boring! Let’s get it out of the way first!”

“Okay, fine.” Anything for you! Literally anything you ask, any time, I would say yes. I’m at your mercy

They grab what Anakin needs at Staples and then head to Sephora.

Obi-Wan spends far too long sifting through various shades of black eyeliner. They all look the same.

“Anakin, which is better? ‘Midnight’ or ‘Jet Black’?” He holds up two pencils.

Anakin studies them. He tries really hard to spot a difference between them and to subsequently make a decision.

“Uhh… I guess, ‘Midnight’ ?” He suggests, pointing to ‘Jet Black’.

Afterwards they head to Hot Topic to look at the band shirts. This has both of them captivated.

“Anakin, it’s buy three get the fourth free. If we each pick two we can get the deal and then just split the cost for the rest.”

“Yes, Obi-Wan, I understand. But what if we each picked four?”

“You don’t need four new shirts!!!”

They settle on each getting two. When Anakin buys Obi-Wan a cool chain necklace with a scorpion on it that he had been eyeing, it’s only as a repayment for the coffee. Nothing else.

When Obi-Wan buys Anakin a pair of dangly sword earrings, it’s only because he thinks they would look really good on Anakin and he’s not too bashful to admit it. He wasn’t going to spend any time thinking about what that might mean.

“Please put them on! They totally suit you!”

“Oh fine!” Anakin obliges. They’re in the washroom after leaving Hot Topic. He puts the earrings on, as Obi-Wan watches him in the mirror.

“See! You look hot, Ani.”

“Oh, fuck off.” He mutters, blushing a fierce red as the two of them maintain eye contact in the mirror. You can’t just say something like that and expect me to be normal about it!

So Anakin walks around the mall, sword earrings proudly on display.

They go to Indigo because Obi-Wan is an English major and is passionate about literature. He wants to buy a book for Anakin to read so they can talk about it.

“I think you’ll really like Slaughterhouse-Five. Vonnegut is a very satirical author, and I think you’ll appreciate his dark sense of humour. Plus, it has science fiction elements! He uses aliens and a warped concept of time to highlight the trauma and impact of war. You’ll love it!”

“It sounds cool! I’ll give it a go!”

Anakin likely would have never picked it up on his own, but the way Obi-Wan’s eyes lit up and the pace of his speech quickened as he spoke with great passion about the novel made it entirely worth reading.

After the mall, they go to the park together. They sit down at a spot under a tree. Obi-Wan leans against the tree. He grabs a journal from his book bag and begins writing in it - just lil poems and thoughts. Definitely not about Anakin.

Anakin stretches out and rests his head on Obi-Wan’s lap. He starts reading the copy of ‘Slaughterhouse-Five’ that Obi-Wan bought for him.

They sit there for a long time in silence, each focusing on their own task but enjoying each others company.

Eventually Obi-Wan stops writing, putting his journal away in his bag.

The sun is starting to set, and as he glances down at Anakin, he notices how it highlights his features.

He notices the warmth of his skin brightened by the light - the gold of his curls enunciated in the glow.

He reaches down and rakes his fingers through the curls as Anakin continues reading.

“Thank you for today. Trips like this mean everything to me.” You mean everything to me.

Anakin stops where he’s reading and folds the corner of the page. Obi-Wan winces - he would never damage a book like that.

Anakin looks up at him, leaning into the fingers in his hair, practically purring. It’s enough to stop Obi-Wan from cursing him for folding the pages of a book.

“Of course, Obi. Things are always more fun with you.” He hums.

Obi-Wan smiles down at him, giving his scalp light scratches. I’m not thinking about kissing him.

“You’re like a little cat.” He ruffles his locks before pulling his hand away. He gives Anakin’s nose a boop.

Anakin huffs and pulls himself into a sitting position so they’re face to face. He stares at Obi-Wan for a moment, a devilish grin spreading across his face.

Suddenly, he stands up, reaching for Obi-Wan’s hand. “C’mon.” He says.

“Oh, what now?” Obi-Wan groans and grabs the offered hand, allowing himself to be pulled up.

“You’re going to buy me ice cream from the stand over there!” Anakin beams, interlocking their fingers and pointing to an ice cream cart in the distance.

Obi-Wan rolls his eyes but can’t control the smile tugging at his lips.

And so they go to the cart. Obi-Wan buys Anakin an ice cream cone. He wouldn’t do it if it didn’t make him happy - or rather, if it didn’t make Anakin happy which in turn made him happy.

As Anakin devours the cone they make their way back to the subway station. Their hands stay intertwined the entire way.

Mindlessly, Obi-Wan rubs his thumb up and down against Anakin’s palm.

All in all, it was quite a perfect day.

I promise at some point I’ll actually start writing this - I can’t promise I won’t post more of these before that though. 😎

[gretavangroupie]

Bloom (Chapter 4)

Chapter 4

Chapter 3

Warnings: Angst, Smut.

“Why else love, if not to feel stars exploding in our veins” - Butterflies Rising

You and Amelia arrive home around early afternoon and you quickly do your few work tasks for the day, so that its not a total loss. You hear Amelia put an album on the record player, and you hum along with her selection. You are fighting the urge to text Josh and see what he is up to. You wonder where they are going next. You wonder the next time you will get to see him, or even if you will. Next thing you know you find your self googling Greta Van Fleet. You see pictures of the guys in various stages of life. You see Josh with many different haircuts and you giggle to yourself. You open Spotify and pull up their artist profile and begin your deep dive into their music. As you continue your google searching you find out that Jake and Josh are twins, they are older than Sam and Danny, and they are from Michigan. You click on a link that takes you to a video of them performing in 2015 and you laugh at how far they have come since then. The next link takes you to twitter, where there are hundreds of people talking about Josh and the other guys. They are clearly huge fans, posting selfies with the guys and reposting photos of them all throughout their careers, along with jokes and various other things.

You begin to wonder if you are in over your head, you’re suddenly very overwhelmed when you spot a photo of you and Josh. You quickly click on it to make it larger. It’s a photo of you two walking out to the van last night. Josh’s arm linked through yours. Both of you smiling at each other. The caption reading, “Who is this????” With multiple comments of people speculating or asking the same thing.

You quickly close the computer screen shut and sit there and stare into space. You realize you should probably send the picture to Josh if he hasn’t already seen it. Maybe that’s why you haven’t heard from him, however you quickly talk yourself out of it.

You reopen the computer, take a picture of the screen and you text it to Amelia instead. She replies almost instantly.

Amelia: Aww! That is so cute! Better get used to it!

You: Not aww! I haven’t heard from Josh since yesterday morning and I am wondering if this is the reason! I don’t think he wants anyone to know about this “thing”. 

Amelia: That’s show business babe, and from what Danny told me I don’t think that is the case.

You: What do you mean what Danny told you? Why am I just now hearing about this??? Come in the office right now!

A few minutes later Amelia steps through the door.

“Im sorrrrry, I didn’t want to say anything because technically it was a secret, but I don’t want you to worry.” She said.

You shoot her an icy look. 

“Lets hear it.” You demand.

She sighs, “Okay so Danny told me that Josh hasn’t really dated anyone in while, and that this is the first time that he has ever had a girl back stage with him, let alone share his hotel room with. He said that he has been talking about you non stop, so I really wouldn’t worry about that picture…” She says reassuringly.

You let out a deep breath and spin around in your computer chair thinking about this new information. You find yourself biting the inside of your cheek.

“Well, it doesn’t change the fact that I haven’t heard from him since.” You say pointedly.

“I haven’t heard from Danny either if it makes you feel better. Let’s go grab some dinner.”

Dinner and the rest of the evening were relatively quiet. Knowing you both had a full day of work tomorrow, you decided to turn in early. You settle on watching a movie in bed and just relaxing until you fall asleep. Half way through ‘The Time Traveler’s Wife’ you hear your phone buzz on your night stand. You pick it up. It’s Josh.

Josh: Hey pretty girl, I JUST got service. We have been driving through the mountains all day to Virginia and we finally just arrived. I have been thinking about you all day.

Your heart leaps out of your chest. You aren’t sure why your brain always assumes the worst but you have to stop listening to it. You reply quickly.

You: Hi! I have been thinking about you too. Glad you all made it safely. Have you seen this?

You attach the picture you took from your computer earlier and hit send.

Josh: I had not since I didn’t have any service, but I have now. It’s a cute picture. I think I’ll save it. ;)

Another text comes through right after.

Josh: I wish you were here.

You: Yeah, It is chilly here tonight, I could go for another good nights sleep with you to keep me warm. 

Josh: I wish I could say it won’t be long, but I don’t think I will be home for a break for at least another month. We have already had quite a few ups and downs with this tour and having to cancel a few shows. I am hoping the rest of it goes smoothly. 

You: It’s okay you’re worth the wait. ;) Sorry to hear about the cancellations. Im sending good vibes for the rest of the tour.

Josh: You will let me know If you want to come to any of the shows right? You can come to any of them. I’ll even let you share my hotel room…

You: Yeah, I will let you know. The last part sounds nice…

Josh: You know I never use my phone this much, my brothers are already making fun of me. Usually I can’t even find it. What have you done to me?

You: I can let you go…

Josh: NO! Im just saying, its nice to have someone of my own to talk to for once. Usually the guys call their girlfriends around this time every night, and I just hangout by myself until they are done. I am happy I can participate in the group activity now.

You: Happy to be of service. :)

Josh: I can think of a few things you could service…

You: Oh really? Like what?

Josh: Well, just use that beautiful mind, Im sure you can think of a few things. ;)

You: I will think about it, but will you?

Josh: I have been all day pretty girl. In fact I haven’t stopped thinking about it since we left the hotel. I’m going to get some sleep, our manager has a whole day planned for us tomorrow… 

You: Sounds like fun! Goodnight Josh

Josh: Goodnight angel, sleep well. I will talk to you tomorrow.

You place your phone back on the night stand and finish your movie, but you haven’t watched a minute of it. You drift off to sleep replaying your favorite night with Josh, over and over, wishing you could cuddle up next to him right now.

You woke up the next morning feeling happier than usual. Something about knowing that you would talk to Josh again today made you that way. Like nothing could ruin your mood. 

That is, until your little spat with your boss. After that, the rest of your day was uneventful.

Around 6:30 you receive a text from Josh.

Josh: Hey beautiful, we are about to start doing pre-show warm ups for tonight. I will call you after the show, before we hit the road? If it’s not too late? I don’t want to keep you up. 

You respond immediately knowing he is going to put his phone down any second. You decide to keep it short and sweet.

You: I’ll be up, and looking forward to it. Break a leg. :)

You spent the rest of the night anxiously awaiting your phone call with Josh. Around 11:30 you are staring to doze off while waiting when you feel your phone vibrating on your bed.

“Hello?” You answer groggily.

“Hello lovely” Josh says with a raspy voice. “You sound like you were asleep?” he asks.

“I… wasn’t… fully asleep.” You say coyly. “I was just resting my eyes” you joke.

“How was the show?” You ask.

“It was great, it was a good one tonight, the crowd was really receptive and we all had a good time.” He says proudly.

“Aw, wish I could have been there. I have been brushing up on lyrics.” You say.

“Ah, I can give you a private lesson if you want. Just say the word. I happen to know them all.”he jokes.

“I’m sure you would be an excellent teacher.” You laugh.

“How was your day, did you do anything fun?” He asks.

It’s so weird that Josh, a literal rockstar, wants to know about your average and mundane everyday life. When his is the complete opposite.

“No, I had a small tiff with my boss over a scheduling conflict but other than that it was a pretty normal day for me. I was talking to Amelia about possibly going to one of those co-work office spaces just to get out of the house more but still be in a working environment. She told me about a couple and I may check them out next week. Fun stuff I know.” You joke.

“That sounds very efficient, but still communicative. That is probably where I would end up too. I like to talk to new people.” He says.

“No, not you!” You joke at his expense.

“We are on the road all night tonight to go to Pennsylvania.” He says.

“Do you play again tomorrow or do you have a night off? Im not sure how all of this works.” You say.

“Yes, we play again tomorrow, then we have a two days off, with traveling of course, and then we play another two nights in a row. It’s a little confusing, i’ll send you the tour schedule. That way you can count down the days until I get to come home for a break.” He says.

You can hear the excitement in his voice. You get butterflies in your stomach at the countdown statement. He wants to see you again when he gets back? Why you? You’re not complaining though…

“When are you supposed to have that break?” You ask.

“We are supposed to have a long break after the Bangor show around the beginning of October. Almost 10 days I think, before we hit the road again for another month.” He says. “And the minute I get home I’m coming to see you.” He announces.

“Oh hey, they are calling for us to get on the bus. I have to go for now, but maybe I can call you again tomorrow?” He asks.

“Of course, you can call me or text me any time you want. You know that.” You say.

“I do now.” He says. “Goodnight sweet girl, I will talk to you tomorrow”.

You can hear the sentiment in his voice.

“Goodnight to you too, whenever that will be, safe travels and I will talk to you tomorrow.” You reply.

“Bye babe” he says. “Bye” you reply right before you hit the end call button.

You spend yet another night dreaming of being wrapped up in Josh.

The next several days went about the same. You did end up going into a co-work space in East Nashville and it was really nice to be around others, also working remotely. 

You and Josh texted a few times throughout the day but every night he would call you right around 11:30. You could tell that he likes to talk on the phone more than he liked to text. He would send you picture of random things that he would see in the cities they would visit but he really had a lot more to say over the phone. You talked about the shows on show nights, the funny signs he would see and the outfits people would wear. And on non show nights he would want to talk about your day and random topics he would choose. Every day you felt like you were getting to know him better and better becoming closer with each other. Each night he would tell you how many days were left until he would see you. And the number was officially down to one. Looking at their schedule they had a show tonight in Bangor, and then he would fly home for almost 2 weeks. He had already told you all of the things that he planned for the two of you to do together when he got back. You could hardly wait to see him, even though it had barely been 2 weeks since the last time you saw him. 

He had texted you a few things today, his normal good morning, something funny one of the guys did at lunch and just a little while ago he texted you telling you they were about to go on and that he would call you after.

Around 11:30 you waited for your phone call with Josh. 11:30 turned into midnight, which turned in 12:30, with no phone call. You worried a little but chalked it up to Josh probably being tired and that you would just talk to him tomorrow. You decided to go to bed, knowing that tomorrow night around this time you would hopefully be intertwined with him into the early morning.

*Bzz, Bzz, Bzz* you wake up to your phone vibrating on your night stand. The clock showing 2:41AM. It’s Josh. 

With squinting eyes you read his text.

Josh: I know its late, I’m sorry I didn’t call you babe, I fucked up really bad.

After that bombshell of a text, your heart drops for a second. You read it again. You contemplate replying now, or in the morning. If he is awake right now, something must be wrong.

You: What’s wrong Josh? Is everything okay?

You nervously wait for his reply, your hands starting to get clammy. You see the three dots begin to move and stop before starting back again.

Josh: Something happened at the show tonight and I am in horrible pain. I don’t want you to worry but I will text you when we land tomorrow. 

That’s right, they are supposed to come home tomorrow.

You: Im so sorry, I understand if you don’t want to talk about it. I hope you can get some sleep tonight. Goodnight Josh.

Josh: Night angel

You try to go back to sleep but you toss and turn all night wondering what could have happened at the show. You finally fall back asleep thinking of the possibility of seeing Josh tomorrow.

The next day you pace around nervously wondering and waiting to hear from Josh. You are dying to know what happened but you refuse to check social media. You want to hear it from him.

Around 2:30 your phone rings. It’s Josh. 

“Hello?” You  answer.

“Hey babe, We are back in Nashville. Jake is going to take me home if you want to come over?” He says.

“Sure, just text me your address. Also, are you feeling okay? Are you sure you’re up for me coming over? I completely understand…” he cuts you off suddenly.

“Yes, Im sure. You’re the only person I want to see right now.”  He says.

“Okay, well I will see you in a little while…” you say

“See you then.” he replies.

Once the phone call ends you rush around trying to freshen up and decide on something to wear. Josh texts you his address and you see that he only lives about 10 minutes away.

You head over to his house around 3:15 to make sure that he has enough time to get back from the airport and settle in a bit. You are shaking with nerves. You haven’t seen him since that day in Knoxville, where seemingly everything changed. Mentally and physically.

You pull into his driveway and see his jeep sitting there. You notice lights on inside the house and you know he is home. You wipe your sweaty palms on your jeans and turn off your car. 

You get out and begin to walk to the door. Josh opens the front door before you make it there, leaning against the door jam, looking just as beautiful as you remember.

“You found me” he says.

“Well google found you, I just followed the directions” you joke.

He ushers you inside and you’re met with the very faint aroma of incense, a type you can’t quite put your finger on just yet. It smells just like Josh. 

“Okay I can’t take it anymore, what’s wrong? What happened?” You beg.

“Ahhh…..” He lets out an exasperated breath. “Lets sit” he says falling into his leather couch.

“So the show was going great, nothing out of the ordinary, we were at the very tail end of the set. I decided to go stand over by Jake while he did his thing, and honestly I am not super sure what exactly transpired but I was standing too close to one of the pyrotechnic machines and when the fireworks shot out at the end of his solo, it felt like someone shot me in my left ear. I thought my in ear monitor was malfunctioning so I pulled it out quickly but the pain was searing through my head. We still had about 20 minutes left in the show, so I just pushed through it. Jake knew something was up. He didn’t take his eyes off of me the rest of the show, and Sam and Danny picked up on it not too long after him” he said.

You rubbed his arm as he continued his retelling, and he leaned into your touch. You could tell he wasn’t feeling great.

“Anyways, I finished the show the best that I could. As soon as we got off stage I went to see the Aid that travels with us. It took her all of about 5 minutes to come to the conclusion that my ear drum was ruptured.” He finished.

“Oh no” you say with sad eyes, still rubbing his hands between yours.

“It hurts so damn bad, it feels like there is an ice pick lodged into my ear canal” He says rubbing his forehead.

“Is there anything you can do?” You ask.

“That’s the worst part. No. There is literally nothing I can do except let it heal which could take weeks, months even.” He says. “The aid said that I need to keep loud noises to a minimum to help speed up the recovery which brings the tour into play.” He states.

You stare at him, unsure of what to say. 

“I am going to take the next 10 days to do absolutely that. Im going to go get a second opinion. We have had some bad luck with this tour, I swear its cursed. This is the last thing I needed to happen.” He jokes.

“Well if there is anything I can do, please just tell me” you say lovingly with a gentle smile.

“You already are. This is just what I need. It’s also all I have thought about for two weeks.” He smiles at you. 

His hand reaches up and brushes your cheek and weaves through your hair as he pulls you in for the most gentle and desperate kiss. The kiss you’ve been waiting for and imagining for days. This is not exactly how your reunion played out in your head but you’re here now and it feels more right than you imagined it would.

Your lips both part simultaneously to allow the other access and your tongues begin their familiar dance.

You break away “Is this okay? I don’t want to hurt you” you ask.

“It’s worth it” he says tackling you down to the couch.

“You’ll tell me if it’s too much right?” You ask.

“No probably not…” he laughs continuing to kiss you between remarks. “Do you want a drink?” He asks.

“Sure what do you have? I know you haven’t been here for a bit” you say. He gets up and walks into his kitchen.

“I think I might have bottle of wine Sam left here.” he says looking around his pantry.

“Yep. Here it is. Will this work?” He asks.

“Anything is fine, really.” you reply. He removes two wine glasses from the cabinet and pours the glasses half full. He corks the wine and delivers your glass. “Im not really a big red wine guy, but it will work. Anything to stop this nagging pain.” He says.

“See I knew it, let’s just relax and hang out. You need to rest.” You state.

“You’ll stay tonight, right?” He asks with longing eyes.

“If you want me to, but I will have to borrow some clothes again.” you smirk.

“Please, yes, I want you to stay and of course you can borrow whatever you want. Just go in the closet, and whatever you find, is yours.” He says.

You decide to order in dinner since Josh’s fridge is practically empty, life of a rockstar I guess. Once you both had eaten you decided to watch a movie, which you will now be calling films at Josh’s request. About halfway through you look over to see Josh sound asleep with your legs in his lap. All the traveling and time zone changes has finally caught up with him. He looks so peaceful, head slung back onto the back of the couch, his mouth slightly parted and you hear small breaths escaping. You could stare at him forever. He just has that something that makes you never want to look away. Like you’re in a trance. You find yourself absentmindedly running your fingers through his curls when his eyes flutter open a tiny bit and he sees your staring at him.

“I think dozed off there for a second.” He smiles.

“About 30 minutes actually, but let’s go to bed. You need to sleep.” You say.

“I would love nothing more.” He says, standing up to head to his bedroom.

You’ve never seen his bedroom but imagined what it may look like. Once you arrive down the hall, you step in and its almost exactly as you pictured. It’s calm and serene and cozy and you know that this is his safe space where he can wind down and forget the chaos of his life. He points to a door and tells you that that is where the closet is and to take whatever you want.

You walk into the closet and find rows and rows of shirts, pants, shorts, coverall type suits, etc. you look around for just a plain t-shirt to sleep in and once you find it you quickly shed your clothes and slip it on. You find a bin with all of his boxers, and grab a pair of boxer briefs that are navy colored with tiny pink flowers. You slip off your thong and slide the briefs on instead.

You walk out of the closet to find Josh already in bed, the room dimly lit by a lamp on his bedside table. He pulls the duvet back motioning for you to get in. He seems happy with your selection of clothing based on his smile.  You crawl in next to him and snuggle into his side. He wraps his arms around you pulling you in even closer to his side. He holds you there for for a few minutes before turning to look at you. This is exactly what you pictured every single night as you fell asleep, for the past two weeks. It finally real and its sinfully good. 

Your hand begins to migrate down from Josh’s bare chest down to his waist until your hand meets his happy trail and you realize that he is completely nude and hard as a rock.

“You’re naked!” You say playfully.

“Well I always sleep naked when I am home, feels better to be completely free in these linen sheets” he says almost like a song.

“Im not complaining” you say as your hand finds his length gripping around the base. 

A small hiss comes from his mouth and his body tenses.

His hand begins to feel up your body sliding under your shirt and grasping and kneading at your breast. You take this as a sign to continue as you start to move your hand up and down his rock hard dick. His mouth is on yours quicker than you can even register and his tongue is exploring every inch of your mouth. His lips, soft and plush against yours heightens the arousal between your legs as you begin to rub your legs together just to feel a bit of friction.

He takes notice and removes his hand from your nipple and begins to make his way down to your center. 

“Baby I have thought about this for days” he says. “I need to taste you.” he begs.

You feel a bead of pre cum form at his tip and smooth over it with your thumb before bringing it to your mouth and dragging your thumb along your tongue slowly while staring him right in the eyes.  That is his final straw and he grabs you and pushes you up the bed. Your heart is beating out of your chest as he rest between you parted legs. He shimmies the boxers down your legs and throws them across the bed.

“Open for me pretty girl” he says. You know that you would do anything he asks when he uses those words.

He rubs his hands up and down your thighs slowly to help you relax, it does just that and you find yourself opening up to him. He begins to kiss his way up your thighs starting at your knee and making his way towards your center, your hands gripping the sheets underneath you.

“Josh, please” you beg. Desperate to feel something, anything.

You suddenly feel his warm tongue slide right up your already dripping core. You feel a spark of electricity travel from your toes all the way to your head. He circles around your clit with his tongue and you are positive that this has never felt this good before. He continues to lap away at your center until you are shaking in anticipation of your release. He slides a finger inside of you and gages your reaction. You slid your hand into his curls letting him know to continue. He pumps in and out and then adds another finger.

“Josh I’m gonna cum” you cry out.

“Do it. Do it for me baby.” He says in a husky voice. “Right here on my hand, show me pretty girl.”

As if they were magic words you begin to unravel, right there, in a moment you’ve thought of for days. You look into big brown eyes, but they aren’t just eyes, they are his eyes and that alone is enough to be your undoing.

As you begin your decent back down to earth Josh slowly removes his hand and makes his way up to your face. “How beautifully you come apart for me” with a soft kiss on your panting chest. You reach for him and he stops you, feeling a pang of rejection he slides his hand to your face. “Tonight was for you” he says. “Now, we will sleep and tomorrow you can have your way with me” he laughs. He reached over to turn off the lamp and rolls back into your side. He pulls you into him. Your bodies fitting perfectly together, he places his hand on your hair and smoothes it into place around your shoulders, petting your head and humming a familiar melody very softly as you both drift off to sleep in pure bliss.

[https-harlow]

Lips Of An Angel- 4 Memories, good and bad

Summary- Jack spends the night at your apartment after you ask him to and when he can't sleep he starts to think about some of his memories with you.

Word Count-4.9k

A/N- Didn't plan on this being quite so long but I wanted to give some context to Jack and the readers relationship since I didn't originally plan on this being this long of a series and I would have normally shown these moments in the first or second part. Can't link the previous parts, but they are on my master list!

Warnings-cheating, lying, divorce, toxic relationship

You and Jack made small talk all night, catching each other up on little things that you’ve missed in each other’s lives, everything either of you could think of. For once, you weren’t fighting. You two had a small fight on the phone, but that was it. You weren’t sure if it was going to last, but you were both enjoying it while it did.

You ended up cuddled in your bed, and even though you two agreed on only talking, you broke that awhile ago. Though you only shared one kiss, before you both stopped from going any further. Jack did keep his arms around you, rubbing your back softly as you slowly fell asleep, your head on his chest with your arm laying over his stomach. Jack smiled softly at you, gently pressing a kiss to the top of your head before laying his head back to try to fall asleep himself. 

Jack couldn’t sleep though, he couldn’t stop thinking about all the memories he had of your relationship.

The time you surprised him on tour.

7 months into your relationship Jack had to leave to go on tour. Jack wanted you to come with him, but you couldn’t join him, not for the first month and a half. Though a month in and your schedule changed making it so you could join him sooner. You had made a plan with Urban to fly in 2 weeks early to surprise Jack.

Somehow Jack hadn’t caught on to your plan, even though you had slipped up and left your suitcase out in the background of one of your nightly facetime calls with Jack, while he did notice and ask about it, you played it off as if you were starting to get ready to leave in a couple weeks, you were supposed to be joining him for the last month and a half of his tour so he believed you. 

It was difficult, but Urban managed to distract Jack while you were on your flight and then made sure Jack was in his hotel room when you arrived. Jack was just getting ready to facetime you when he heard a knock at the door. He thought about ignoring it, if it was important enough, they would knock again or if someone needed him, they could text him. He decided to just answer the door though, the sooner he got whatever it was over with, the sooner he could facetime you.

Jack opened the door, and it took him a second to process that it was you, but as soon as he did his arms were around your waist, lifting you up as you wrapped your arms around his neck and your legs around his waist.

“Wait, what are you doing here?” Jack asked. “I’m so happy you are though.” Jack said, holding you with one arm as he used the other to pull your bag inside the room before closing the door, before holding you tighter against him, burying his head in your neck, making you giggle.

“I heard you missed me.” You teased Jack.

“I only tell you that every night.” Jack joked, laughing softly, pulling away to kiss you, you kissed him back before pulling away.

“I got off work 2 weeks early and I decided to surprise you. Urban helped me plan everything.” You told Jack, running your fingers through his hair. 

“Well, I’m glad you did.” Jack set you down gently on the bed before sitting next to you, lying back on the bed before pulling you gently on top of him. “Are you tired baby?” Jack asked.

“Yeah, do you have anything today?” You asked Jack and he shook his head.

“Nope, day off, so I’m all yours, I was just about to call you when you showed up actually. Let’s order food and then take a nap?” Jack suggested, and you nodded. 

“Sounds good to me.” You smiled, kissing Jack softly, and while eventually you did order food and take a nap, you both let yourself get a little distracted before you did.

When Jack told you he wanted to marry you.

Jack had 2 weeks left of tour, and to say he was excited for a break was an understatement. He loved tour and preforming, but it was a lot. The only thing getting Jack through the last few weeks was knowing that he had 2 weeks after with absolutely nothing planned, no shows, no interviews, no studio time, the only plans he had was to spend the whole 2 weeks with you.

The second Jack would get off stage, he was looking for you, finding you almost immediately. Jack ignored everyone else that tried to get his attention as he walked over to you, wrapping his arms around you.

“You did great babe.” You told him, hugging him back. “But you’re all sweaty.” You said, both of you laughing softly before he pulled away from the hug.

“Sorry baby.” Jack smiled at you softly, leaning down as you reached up to kiss each other. “Thank you though.” 

“You’re welcome.” You smiled. “You always do great.” You reminded him and Jack smiled, kissing you one more time before grabbing your hand.

“I’m going to change, and then do you want to go back to the hotel?” Jack asked you, and you nodded. As soon as you nodded, Jack was leading you to his dressing room, his hand moving from yours to around your waist. Jack had been extremely clingy recently, not wanting to go anywhere without you, but you didn’t mind. 

10 minutes later you and Jack were climbing into the van to drive you back to your hotel. Jack’s hand immediately laying on your thigh, you laid your hand over his, intertwining your fingers, smiling softly. You leaned over to lay your head on his shoulder, Jack kissing the top of your head, wrapping his arms around you before laying his head on top of yours.

“Tired babe?” You asked, but you already knew the answer. You felt Jack nod. “We’ll go to sleep as soon as we get to the hotel.” You felt Jack nod again as you felt him relax next to you, and even though you couldn’t see him, you were pretty sure he fell asleep for a few minutes before waking up when he felt the car stop.

You got out first, waiting for Jack, who got out and wrapped his arms around your waist, walking behind you as you both walked to your hotel room. Jack pulling you gently to the bed, making you laugh as he laid down, pulling you next to him, keeping his arms around your waist as he buried his face in your neck.

“Baby, I love when you’re this cuddly, but I have to get changed, you should to.” You told him, running your hand through his hair. Jack sighed but loosened his grip on your waist. “2 weeks left then you get a break, you can do it, I promise.” You said, kissing Jack softly.

“I know. I’m just tired.” Jack said, sitting up as you did.

“I know you are. You don’t have a show tomorrow, we can sleep as much as you want, we don’t have to leave the hotel room at all if you don’t want to. If you get up to change.” You teased and Jack laughed softly at your bribing but nodded and both of you got up to get ready for bed. Jack laying down first, you laying down a couple minutes after he did. Jack pulling you back into his side as you laid your head on his shoulder.

“I love you, so much.��� Jack told you, running his hands through your hair.

“I love you too.” You leaned up and kissed him softly, Jack kissed you back before you laid your head back on his chest.

“I’m going to marry you one day you know?” Jack told you, kissing your forehead.

“Oh yeah? Have you been thinking about that?” You asked, you would have been lying if you said you hadn’t been thinking about your future with Jack yourself, you just didn’t think Jack had been. Especially with how busy he had been recently.

“Yeah, I have, I think just having you here with me made me really start thinking about it.” Jack explained, making you smile softly.

“Well, I’d love to marry you someday.” You told Jack and he smiled, kissing you once more.

“Let’s get married then.” Jack suggested. “Not right this minute obviously, but if we both want to get married, we should.”

“Okay, let’s get married.” You agreed, kissing him once more. “But let’s go to sleep first.” You said, both of you laughing softly before Jack nodded. “I can’t wait to be your wife one day.” 

“And I can’t wait to be your husband.” Jack kissed your forehead before both of you fell asleep.

When you two got married.

Two weeks later and Jack’s tour was over. The two of you ended up at an after party, both of you taking a few shots, but not enough to get drunk. Neither of you drank often, but it was a celebration so why not?

After spending a couple hours at the club the after party was at, you and Jack ended up walking back to the hotel with a couple of your friends. None of you felt like waiting for a car, and it wasn’t a far walk.

About halfway through the walk, your friend, Charlotte spotted a 24-hour wedding chapel. 

“Hey, if anyone wants to get married there’s a place.” She said, completely joking, not knowing about the conversation you had with Jack 2 weeks ago.

You and Jack started whispering to each other, occasionally looking over at the wedding chapel. Urban noticed you both stop walking as the rest of the group slowed down once you did.

“Guys, come on, we have a flight early in the morning.” One of your other friends said as you and Jack looked at each other before looking at the rest of the group.

“We want to get married.” You said, and Jack nodded in agreement. 

“Uh, what?” Urban asked.

“We want to get married.” Jack repeated what you said. 

“No, I heard what you said.” Urban said, looking between you and Jack.

“Have you even thought about this?” Charlotte asked, and you both nodded.

“Yeah, we have.” You answered her and Urban sighed, looking at you.

“You know I love you, and I love you guys together.” Urban looked in-between you and Jack. “But I don’t think anyone should be getting married tonight. Let’s just go back to the hotel, and if you guys want to you can get married once we get home.” Urban suggested, hoping you two would agree and have more time to think about your decision.

“Urban we both know we want to marry each other, what’s the difference if we do it tonight or wait.” Jack argued.

“Because your families are going to be pissed if you guys get married without them knowing.” Urban said.

“We’ll do an actual wedding at some point, but this is what we want.” You told Urban and Charlotte, who both sighed.

“I never thought I’d be the responsible one.” Urban muttered underneath his breath.

“Me neither.” Charlotte agreed, pulling you to the side as Urban pulled Jack to the side.  

They both tried to talk you out of your decision, but you were both stubborn and knew what you wanted. No one was going to talk you two out of getting married, even if they didn’t think it was what was best for you. They had a right to be concerned, you two had only been together for 9 months, and they really did just wanted the best for you, and as much as they both did support your relationship, they both didn’t think either of you were ready for marriage. 

30 minutes later and you and Jack were picking out rings, Jack telling you he wanted to get you both other rings another time, so you both just picked random rings. Even though Urban and Charlotte didn’t exactly agree with your decision, all of your friends came with you, they were still going to support you.

Another 30 minutes later and you and Jack were married, after reciting the typical wedding vows, deciding to save writing your own for when you two had your other wedding, and kissing underneath the arch after the officiant said to, you walked hand in hand back to your hotel. In that moment you didn’t think that either of you could be happier, no matter what your friends opinions were about it. All that mattered was the fact that you loved each other.

When you both woke up the next morning, neither of you could believe you got married, not in a bad way though. It wasn’t like either of you to make last minute decisions, and while yes, you both did think about it, both of you had to admit it was something that you were thinking about for the future, not quite as soon as you did it. That didn’t mean you regretted it though, you were both still happy about your decision and even if you had the opportunity to go back and change it you wouldn’t. You would marry Jack again and again if you could, and you knew he felt the same way.

It stayed like that for the next 4 months.

But Jack didn’t just think about the good memories he had with you, he also thought about the bad ones.

When you found out he had cheated.

You couldn’t join Jack for the first week and a half of his international tour, you had an issue with your passport when you were changing your name that you couldn’t get fixed in time. As soon as you were able to join him though, you did. What you didn’t know though is a couple days into Jack being away he slept with another girl. He wasn’t sure why, but he knew he regretted it.

You noticed something was off with Jack when you showed up and Jack wasn’t as touchy and clingy as he normally was. You didn’t think anything of it at first, he seemed to be completely focused on his work, which wouldn’t have been a problem if he wasn’t acting so different in general. 

Every time you would sit down next to Jack, he would either find a reason to stand up, or he would scoot away from you, and if you would try to hold his hand, or rested your hand on his leg he wouldn’t reciprocate it like he normally did. When you two were alone Jack would find some email he had to respond to or scroll on social media, telling you he had work to do. 

Two weeks into you being on tour with Jack, you and Jack were in your hotel room before his show, Jack was scrolling on his phone after claiming he had work to do. You sat down next to Jack who didn’t acknowledge you. 

“Babe?” You asked as you sat down, not getting any sort of response. “Jack.” You called again.

“Yeah?” Jack asked, not looking up from his phone. He wasn’t ignoring you to be rude, he just felt guilty, and he didn’t know if he could look at you without telling you what he had done or breaking down. 

“Are you okay? You’ve seemed off since I got here.” You asked, reaching out to run your fingers through his hair, something that normally he loved and usually calmed him down. Instead, Jack pulled away from you as you laid your hand back into your lap.

“I’m fine.” Jack muttered. 

“I just want to make sure your okay. You can talk to me about anything.” You reminded him, which he knew was true, he could talk to you about anything, except for this.

“I said I’m fucking fine.” Jack repeated, raising his voice slightly, standing up from the bed. “I’m sorry I can’t fucking spend every second with you because I have work to do. You’re so needy sometimes.” Jack said, finally turning to you, instantly feeling even worse when he looked into your eyes, seeing them start to water.

“Fuck, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that.” Jack apologized, reaching out to touch your cheek, but you pulled away from him, Jack feeling what you had felt for the past two weeks. Jack sighed, running his hands through his hair. 

“I’m just trying to help you, Jack.” You told him, letting your tears fall.

“I know. I know.” Jack sighed again. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. You know I love you, I didn’t mean it, I love you so much.” Jack said, and he wasn’t even sure if he was apologizing for the comments he made, for the cheating, or both. “I need a minute.” Jack said before leaving the hotel room.

Once Jack left the room you started sobbing, finally letting the emotions out that you’ve been holding in for the past 2 weeks. You couldn’t stop thinking about what Jack had said. Were you really needy? Did you expect Jack to spend every waking second with you? No. You made sure Jack knew that you understood he was busy, but you did like him to spend some time with you, you knew he might not have time especially on show days, but in the past, he always made sure to spend time with you. Even if it was just 30 minutes, not because you expected him to, but because he wanted to.

You didn’t see Jack for several more hours. He had texted you to let you know he was going to the venue, if you wanted to meet him there you could, but he also understood if you didn’t want to. 

Jack was sitting in his dressing room with Urban, at this point he assumed you weren’t coming. 

“I messed up Urban.” Jack sighed. Urban didn’t even know what Jack had done, but he had noticed how he had been acting differently towards you, but he didn’t want to get involved.

“What did you do now?” Urban said, laughing softly, not expecting what Jack was going to say.

“It’s not funny, I’m serious.” Jack said, his back to the door, not noticing you stop in the doorway. Urban seeing you, but not thinking anything of it.

“I cheated. I fucking cheated. She didn’t mean anything to me, I don’t know why I did it. I shouldn’t have, I know that. I can’t tell her, but I can’t keep it from her at the same time. I don’t know what to do. Then earlier we got into a fight because I’ve been so distant because I feel so bad about it. What if she leaves me?” Jack continued to ramble, Urban trying to get his attention to tell him you were behind him. 

Jack didn’t notice until he heard someone walk away, turning his head to see you walking away from him, towards the exit.

“Wait, I can explain.” Jack called after you, getting up to follow you. You stopped, turning towards Jack, eyes filled with tears again.

“Can you? Because I don’t think you can. I thought you loved me, Jack.” You let yourself cry even though you usually wouldn’t let yourself feel this vulnerable in front of everyone backstage who were now staring at you two.

“I do love you. I love you so much. She meant nothing to me. I promise. I’ll never do it again, I’ve felt so guilty these two weeks keeping it from you, I know I shouldn’t have done it, I don’t know why I did. Please don’t leave me.” Jack begged. “I need you.”

“You don’t cheat on someone you love Jack. If you loved me, I should have been enough for you. I’m going home, we’ll talk then. I just need space. I’ll be out of the room by the time you get back. Have a good show.” You told him before turning around and walking out of the venue.

You kept your promise, something that Jack clearly couldn’t do himself. You were packed and waiting for your flight home before Jack was even done performing. Jack calling you practically nonstop until he had to go on stage, and as soon as he got off, he was calling you again. He wasn’t sure how he performed that night, he knew it wasn’t his best show ever, but at that point he didn’t care about the show, he only cared about you. He would have canceled if his show didn’t start 30 minutes after your argument.

He didn’t think you were going to fly home, so when he got to the hotel as soon as he could after his show, and you weren’t there he started to panic even more. 

“Where are you? Please let me know your safe.” Jack texted you, and you thought about not responding, but you at least wanted to let him know you were safe, it was the least you could do, and you didn’t want him canceling shows to try to find you. You knew how hard he worked to make the shows happen, and you didn’t want to be the reason they didn’t happen.

“I’m going home. I can’t act like everything is okay for the next month. We’ll deal with it when you get home. Please enjoy the rest of your tour, you deserve it, but please don’t make any other stupid decisions.” You responded.

“Let me know when you land?” Jack asked you, he desperately wanted to send you all the apologies he could think of, but he just got you to respond, he wasn’t going to push his luck.

“I will.” You responded.

“I love you.” Jack sent, sighing when he saw the read message come up, staring at the texts as he saw the typing bubble come up, but sighing when it disappeared with no message following. You wanted to respond, but you didn’t know if you wanted to tell him that you loved him, or to fuck off, because you felt both emotions at the moment.

Even though it didn’t make sense to you, part of you still loved him, that’s what made it hurt so much because that feeling didn’t just go away as soon as you found out he cheated.

When you told him you wanted a divorce.

As soon as Jack had a couple days off, he was on the first flight home that he could find. He had been texting and calling you every day, you would respond occasionally, only when it was something important that you needed to respond to. Jack didn’t tell you he was coming home though, he didn’t want you to tell him to stay.

 You had both kept yourselves busy during your time apart, not wanting to think about the situation you were going to have to deal with eventually. 

Jack had come home in the middle of the night, you were already asleep. Jack knew you probably would be, so he made sure to be as quiet as he could walking in. Jack left his suitcase by the door, he didn’t want to wake you up by wheeling it through your apartment. Jack gently laid down in bed next to you, waking you up when he did.

“Jack? What are you doing here?” You asked quietly.

“I had a couple days off, I wanted to come apologize, but we can talk tomorrow, go back to sleep.” Jack told you and you nodded, laying your head back down. Jack sighed softly when you didn’t cuddle into his side like you normally did, but he also didn’t know why he thought you would. Even though you didn’t fall asleep cuddling, somehow you woke up with your arm laying across Jack’s chest and your legs were tangled together. Even though you were mad at Jack, and you had every right to be, you slept the best you had since you left tour, and so had Jack. The presence of the other, even though you two were fighting, still made you both somehow feel safe. 

Jack had woken up first, his sleep schedule messed up from traveling. He noticed you were awake when you started to move away from him, untangling your legs from his and lifting your arm off his chest.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know if I should move you, but I didn’t want to wake you up.” Jack apologized.

“It’s fine.” You said, moving so you were facing away from him. 

“Baby.” Jack sighed, looking over at you.

“Don’t call me that.” You muttered, getting out of bed, and walking out to the living room, sitting on the couch. Jack sighed, he wanted to follow you, but he wasn’t sure if that would make things worse. Jack let you sit by yourself for a few minutes before walking out into the living room, sitting down next to you.

“Can we talk?” Jack asked, looking over at you.

“What are you going to say that could possibly make this better?” You asked Jack.

“I don’t know, I don’t think there is anything I could say that would make this better. I know that, but I want to try to fix us. I don’t want to lose you.” Jack told you. “I love you. I know I messed up, I don’t know why I slept with her, I shouldn’t have. It was a mistake that I’ll never make again, she meant nothing to me, and no one will ever mean as much to me as you do.”

“It wasn’t a mistake. You made the decision to have sex with someone else and cheat on me, knowing that it wasn’t a good idea, and you still did it.” You looked over at him. “Were you ever going to tell me? Or were you going to try to keep it from me?” You asked.

“I was going to tell you. I just didn’t know how. I knew you weren’t going to take it well, and I didn’t expect for you to. I was just hoping I could figure out what to say first.” Jack explained. “It probably would have helped if I was the one to tell you instead of how you find out.”

“I’m not sure it would have. Maybe, I don’t know.” You sighed. “I loved you, Jack. I really did see us spending the rest of our lives together. It’s not the cheating that hurts the most, it’s the idea that I have to give that up.” You explained.

“You don’t have to. We can make this work, I don’t want to just give up.” Jack said

“Of course, you don’t. What am I supposed to do next time you go somewhere without me? Just hope you aren’t cheating on me? You broke the trust I had in you.” 

“I haven’t even gone out since you left, you can ask anyone.” Jack told you.

“Oh, yeah, because that makes it better.” You rolled your eyes.

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to say.” Jack sighed.

“Well, you haven’t even apologized. You haven’t said I’m sorry. All you’ve done is try to explain why what you did is okay.” You ran your hands through your hair. “Jack, I think I want a divorce.” You told him, sitting in silence for a few minutes before Jack spoke.

“Do you really want a divorce or is that what you think you should want?” Jack asked, this time you didn’t talk for a few minutes. You didn’t truly want a divorce, you still loved Jack, but you also felt like you couldn’t trust him anymore.

“I want a divorce.” You said.

“You don’t even want to try to make things work?” Jack asked you and you shook your head.

“No, not right now. I can’t. It’s not fair to either of us. You should be able to do what you want to do, and I shouldn’t have to be afraid every time we’re apart that you might cheat on me.” You said. Jack understood where you were coming from, but he didn’t want to lose you.

“I’ll get my stuff out then and we never have to see each other again.” Jack said, standing up from the couch.

“I’m sorry.” You told Jack, you were sorry, but you weren’t sure why, yes you were the one who wanted the divorce, but you weren’t the reason for the divorce.

“Are you really?” Jack asked, looking back at you as he was walking towards the door and you nodded, feeling your eyes start to water, but this time Jack didn’t feel bad about you starting to cry, he didn’t feel the need to try to make you feel better. 

“It doesn’t feel like it.” Jack told you, turning walk out of the apartment.

“Just like how I don’t think you’re sorry about cheating on me.” You argued, Jack walking out of the apartment instead of responding to your comment.

As soon as Jack walked out, you hugged your knees to your chest, letting yourself cry once again. You weren’t sure if you were ever going to see Jack again, and you weren’t sure if that was a good thing or not. 

As Jack laid with you in his arms, back in the apartment he once walked out of, he realized he would do absolutely anything to get you back. No more fighting, no more lying, no more cheating, and no more hurting each other like you have in the past. Jack wanted your relationship back to how it used to be, when you loved each other and nothing else mattered. 

[mammons-best-boi]

Here's Belphies for the post I made earlier

Warning; somnophilia, he's given consent but doesn't know that you have the toys, don't know how to tag for that so be careful, gn reader, Minors dni.

One day you wake up to discover something new on your desk. Now you may have failed your demon bio class, but you definitely remember this lesson.

If a demon truly falls in love with a human, whether or not that love is reciprocated, two toys will appear to the human. These are only visible to that human and are linked to the demon.

The odd part is that Belphie's set showed up first.

He's been begging you to try some somno with him, telling you to just do it whenever he's fallen asleep. Smiling to yourself,yo think "There's no better surprise than this for him" as you grab the pocket pussy off of the desk.

It's one in the morning, plenty of time to get up to shenanigans and go back to bed after. >:3

You slowly work one finger into the toy and realize that it's not self lubricating, but it doesn't seem to be a problem. Your finger glides through almost as if it's made of water.

You slide another finger in and start stretching the toy out for the dildo. It makes you pause for a second about what you're doing. Realize that you have the perfect thing to make this everything he's ever wanted.

Setting the toy down, you dig through your bottom drawer and grab your vibrator. Slotting the vibe into the toy, making sure that the two motors were pressing against everything just right,you turn it to the lowest setting and set the two of them on the charging pad.

You grin when the vibe lights up saying that it's charging.

Looking at the dildo, you start to wonder if you've got anything to stimulate that as well..

Well, you have told him to go fuck himself before, joking as it was, but now he really can. You slide the dildo inside the pocket pussy before going to sleep for the night.

In the morning, you check your setup. Just as you thought, it wasn't nearly enough to get him to cum. Feeling a bit sadistic, you turn the vibe off but keep it inserted.

You say a shrinking spell and stuff the toys into your pocket. Time to wake up the slothful demon.

Making your way to the attic, you hear the whimpering and begging from the top of the stairs. "Please… felt so good… please…" the moans and please float to your ears as you hold the remote to the vibe in your pocket.

Since he begged so pretty, you take pity on him and turn the vibe on again. He gasps and starts babbling thanks and praises.

If only you could see him.. see how he's reacting to the vibe. You slowly start turning up the vibe and he starts to whimper about being close. You cut the vibrations when he starts to give warnings that he's close. "NO! Nononononono! Please…. So close please!!"

You can't stand it anymore and you have to see him. You creep into the attic. The first thing you see is him spread out, tears flooding his face as he desperately fists his red cock.

Silently you turn the vibe to max and watch as he cums so hard his whole body shakes and twitches. You switch to the sporadic pattern and watch as he twitches in sync with the vibe.

He starts begging again and you turn the vibe off completely. He sighs and curls around a pillow.

"Hey Belphie!" You say cheerfully as you close the attic door behind you. "Time to get up! Beers already started eating and…" you tail off, as if you just discovered the state of the demon.

Belphie whimpers and opens his arms to you, silently begging you for cuddles. Happy to provide some much needed aftercare,you separate him from the sweaty and soiled blankets and hold him close.

"Did you have a good dream, Belphie?" He nods into your shoulder and mumbles about it being the best dream ever before falling back asleep.

Smiling softly, you pull a clean blanket over the two of you and send a text to the group; "I've got a case of Belphie paralysis lol, save me and him some food?" Before falling asleep next to him.

[didhewinkback]

Thanks for linking me to “wanna do something illegal?” ask. “I said that to you while you were inside me and you put it in a song?!” - haven’t listened to the album in awhile so trying to figure out what song this could be. Also, just thinking on his part, the number of times he drafted a text with “wanna do something illegal?” but never hitting send cause I feel/know he didn’t want to break tradition.

oh anyyyy time!! thanks for reading !! i think its part 4, she says a line thats a lyric from daydreaming, something along the lines of give me something to dream about. writing more underneath about the rest of this ask ! teensy tiny mini expansion on what u said

yeah those months leading up to the wedding were really all over the place for him. he definitely thought about doing the tradition with you the way you always did but you both hadnt spoken in so long for reasons he couldnt get to the bottom of (because you were desperately attempting to distance yourself, to accept the reality that he was going to marry someone else, but he didnt know that). he would go to text you and then open the thread and see that his last several messages had gone unanswered and felt so overwhelmed by what that could mean that he didnt send the text at all. he tried to convince himself that this is what happens when you grow up and get married, and while erin and you had seemingly always gotten along, she always got a bit cagey when there were things just the two of you, when there were inside jokes you would reference that she could never get inside of.

he knew this isn't how he wanted to do it and the second you walked into the studio that day, barely looking at him, he knew he made a mistake but by that time it was too late. he had too many people to cater to, to many expectations to rise up to. he felt unmoored, uneasy but pasted a smile on his face, acted like everything was fine. bc it had to be. even if he felt seconds away from a breakdown with a little voice in the back of his head slowly getting louder and louder, telling him this isn't the way any of this is supposed to go. any time his eyes snag on you for too long, the way you're keeping your features as neutral as possible. he'd rather you scream at him, give him anything to work with, slowly realizing that one of the things he looks most forward to when he's writing music is getting to play it for you afterwards, to see your reactions, the way you always grab onto his arm, nails digging into his skin when a lyric or note hits particularly hard, always unable to keep the smile off your face but tonight, with all these people, with his arms around erin's waist, you're giving him nothing. only polite applause and nods. he tries in vain to chase after you once it's over and you beeline out of there, speeding for the tube like it's about to close, he calls your name but you don't stop, apologies on his tongue that you'll never hear. and he stands in that parking lot, watching your retreating figure get smaller and smaller in the distance, tears blurring his vision though he can't quite figure out why and then the studio door's opening and there's erins voice, calling him back in. and he goes.

[preciousthingsareprecious]

With a Heart of Scars Chapter 11

Strolls in over a year late with Starbucks, new chapter anyone?

Links for those who are new, or need a refresher:

Chapter 1 | Previous Chapter | AO3

“You really had no idea I was back in town?” Tim asked again as he adjusted his grip on Dick’s wrist.

The two of them were in the middle of climbing the manor’s staircase to the second floor. It was Tim’s way of making sure he rested. Especially since his brother was apparently insistent on still working the case that had landed him under a building.

He’d thought he could leave Dick safely downstairs for a bit while he got situated back in the manor, the man was injured and had promised to rest, but apparently Dick had picked up more Batman habits from Bruce than he cared to admit to. It was baffling, especially since Tim knew for a fact everyone else in the family was hard at work investigating things in some way or another. So here they were with Tim in charge of getting Dick upstairs without tearing stitches, while Alfred was busy making sure the room was presentable, clean, and free of tripping hazards.

“Nope, I can show you my phone when we get upstairs. Last text from you was--” Dick winced as he put his leg down wrong.

Tim hefted him a little closer to his side.

“An update on just how tasty the food really is in Paris.” his brother finished, just as they reached the top.

“I know I sent you a message.” Tim said, his brows furrowing.

His brother waved him off, “It’s not a big deal either way, Timmy.”

Except it was. Dick had been in such straits Damian had needed to go save him. Damian who hadn’t been in the field yet. Damian who as far as Tim knew was still two seconds away from taking off someone’s head instead of knocking them out. Even if Dick promised the kid was leaps and bounds better than that now. Besides, Tim was Robin, he should have been there to back up Batman.

Even not considering the most recent disaster, Tim hadn’t been around nearly as much as he should, and it was showing. Dick was exhausted. One bad night didn’t create the deep purple bags under Dick’s eyes or the exhaustion lacing his voice.

Tim should have known. Should have been on the lookout for those tell tale signs. It didn’t matter who wore the cowl, Batman was going to keep secrets from his Robin. It was Robin’s duty to figure those out and keep him safe, yet Dick had pulled the wool over Tim’s eyes completely because he hadn’t been there. And of course he had, Tim was spending most of his time looking for a different Batman. When he wasn’t doing that, he was keeping himself busy with the Titans. Anything to be out of the house that just kept reminding him of the second dad he’d lost.

Alfred had left the door open for them, and was waiting inside when Tim helped Dick into the room. Together, he and Alfred got Dick in bed and settled in. As his brother leaned back against his pillows he sighed with relief.

“Perfect. Thanks guys.”

Alfred hummed and adjusted Dick’s blankets again, “Would you like some tea?”

Dick shot him a blinding grin, “Please.”

“You know he’s probably going to drug it right?” Tim joked after Alfred had left.

His brother snorted, “He only ever did that to B.”

Mostly when Bruce had been shutting everyone out and overworking himself. In fact, Tim remembered seeing Bruce looking an awful lot like Dick did now. His heart squeezed at the comparison, at the way he missed his dad, at what Dick seemed to be silently pushing himself through.

“Hmm.” Tim said, and pulled his phone from his pocket to check his text history with Dick. “Oh.” he blinked down at the phone.

“Oh?” Dick asked.

“I forgot to hit send.” Tim felt his face heat up.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw a hand flash, and jerked his head up in surprise. It wasn’t a dismissal, but instead Dick was holding his arm out in invitation.

“Want to join me? I don’t really care to sit here alone all day.”

Tim rolled his eyes but smiled, “That’s the most obvious comfort attempt I’ve seen in a long time.”

“I don’t have to trick you into giving hugs.”

Something about that made Tim think not only of Damian, but of Jason too. He chuckled, and settled on the bed next to Dick, and leaned into his side.

“Glad I can be the agreeable brother.”

He received a tight hug for that as Dick tugged him closer to his side, before leaning over to press a kiss into his hair, “And I thank you so much for that.”

“Now, tell me all about your adventures. Any more leads on strange bat symbols?”

Tim entertained Dick until Cass came in to take over for him, and he headed downstairs for a late lunch. He found Damian in the kitchen, picking his way through a bowl of salad. Tim stood for a moment and watched the kid spear a couple cherry tomatoes with his fork and then stare at them for a few seconds before popping them in his mouth.

“Hey.” Tim said, not wanting to make him think he was spying.

Damian looked up at him and scowled. No surprise there. They weren’t close, but Tim had thought Damian had cooled towards him lately. He’d even apologized for challenging Tim to a duel when he’d first arrived. The apology had been stiff, and most likely initiated by Dick, but honestly the fact that he’d done it at all had been progress.

“Dick’s in his room now.” Tim said, trying to find some common ground as he ducked into the fridge.

Bless Alfred and his legendary meal prepping skills. Neat little tupperware lined the fridge, pre portioned meals that were filling and basic enough to meet any of their pallets for a quick meal. He snagged one at random, lifted one corner of the lid and popped it into the microwave.

“Are you sticking around?” Damian demanded.

“What?” Tim turned to blink at Damian surprised.

The boy crossed his arms, salad forgotten. He looked fierce, not angry, but protective?

“Are you finally going to take your duties as Robin seriously, and watch Grayson’s back?”

Oh. That made sense. Dick had gone on about Damian with such affection earlier it had made Tim a bit jealous, and now he saw that the feelings were mutual. Gone was the Damian who had no time for anyone, now replaced with a tiny protective pit bull of a kid who had latched onto his oldest brother.

Tim frowned, “I’m sorry I wasn’t there last night, I feel terrible.”

Damian opened his mouth to berate him, but Tim held up a hand, “Let me finish. I’m not trying to make an excuse, just explain. If he wants me to stay, I’m staying. I shouldn’t have spent so much time away.”

His heart was torn even saying that. Tim loved Dick. He loved his brother desperately, but he also loved Bruce, and he couldn’t picture up and abandoning his quest. Except he couldn’t be in two places at once, and he just---he didn’t know what to do.

“Good.” Damian gave a sharp nod, “He needs a partner, and if you were not up to the task I was going to insist on taking up your slack.”

“Oh really? And has Dick okayed you for field work yet?”

Damian’s scowl returned, “He will have to eventually. His lessons are growing repetitive with nothing new to test me against.”

Tim doubted that, but did agree that eventually Damian was going to have to go out on patrol. It’s all he wanted, and even with him apparently gaining new interests since Tim had been gone, his goal was still to join Batman on patrol.

The microwave beeped. Tim turned his attention to his food. He opened the door, tugged his sleeves over his hands, and pulled out the tupperware. Quickly, he took it over to the bar and set it down before he returned to the microwave to close it and find a fork.

When he sat down again, Damian had returned to picking tomatoes out of his salad.

“You know, even if I join Dick, I think he’d appreciate having more than one partner. He’s used to working with a team.”

“Like you are?” Damian asked, not looking up, “Grayson tells me you have been splitting your time between the Teen Titans and searching for Father.”

Tim hummed, and gently lifted the lid off the food, letting the steam escape slowly. Inside the tupperware was a mix of rice, diced chicken, and an assortment of vegetables. A warm, spiced, scent came up from the container that made Tim’s mouth water.

“I have.” he nodded, “Most of my time’s been spent looking for Bruce though.”

He gave the food a good stir with his fork, and glanced up at Damian, “Your Grandpa’s even tried to help.”

Damian snorted, “I doubt what Grandfather has been doing is helpful.”

A chuckle escaped Tim’s chest, and he let it turn into a full laugh, “Yeah, he’s the worst.”

Damian gave him a half smile at that and hummed. He turned back down to the salad, now stabbing at cucumber slices, “Do you have any solid leads on Father?”

“Some.” Tim said, “Jay’s been helping too, hunting down locations from here in his spare time. So far it’s been a lot of nothing, but I’m sure we’ll find solid evidence soon.”

“And if you do?” Damian asked.

Tim shrugged, “Use it to start triangulating a location. My running theory is that Bruce is stuck somewhere in time, though there's also the possibility he could be in an alternate universe shifted slightly from our own.”

Damian didn’t ask about Tim’s plans if he didn’t find evidence. Instead he nodded, and stirred his salad, accidentally sending a slice of red onion sliding out of the bowl. He glared at it, before lifting it and dropping it in his mouth. It was actually really cute.

They spent the rest of their meal in comfortable silence. Tim devouring his rice bowl, while Damian continued to pick his salad apart, ingredient by ingredient. Tim remembered Bruce doing that sometimes if he was working out a puzzle. Normally it had nothing to do with a case, but instead was work or relationship related. One time it was over something Dick had snapped at him before storming out. It had taken him the whole meal to sort out Dick was mad that he’d forgotten about a lunch they’d had planned. He wondered what Damian was trying to puzzle out.

He didn’t get another chance to hang out with Dick alone until the next evening. Everyone else had insisted on crowding him to make sure he rested and didn’t do too much. Jason spent time reading silently close by while Cass played games with him on his DS. Tim would watch movies with him while Damian sat with a sketchbook perched on his knees, sitting in the bed just far enough away from Dick that no one would suspect him of trying to be comforting --his little ruse fooling no one.

Dick at last managed to convince Alfred to let him out of bed and move down into Bruce’s office to get some WE work done if he promised to have someone with him. Tim volunteered, eager for some quiet time with his oldest sibling.

They sat together for a while in comfortable silence. Tim worked on some of his own long overdue WE projects, and then wrangled some away from Dick to devote a fresh set of eyes to.

It was nice, just sitting there and working. Tim was settled by the book shelves, a laptop perched on his lap, and Dick was seated at the desk proper, with one of his legs propped up on a stool. Tim had been so busy, so in a rush to go off and do things, he’d missed the quiet. It was odd, thinking of Dick as quiet, and another marked change from the last time they’d sat in this office working together. Dick hadn’t interrupted him for anything but work in almost an hour. He’d settled in, brow furrowed, and just...worked.

Tim didn’t think he liked it.

As little as he wanted to admit it, Tim had begun to realize Dick needed more backup here, and he wasn’t sure he was the one to give it.

They worked for a while longer, Tim’s discomfort growing with each minute that ticked by until he cleared his throat to get Dick’s attention.

“Hm?” his brother glanced up from his computer.

“Can we talk?” Tim asked.

Dick really looked at him this time, studying his face for a few seconds before nodding. Tim dragged his chair over to the desk so Dick didn’t have to get up, and then sat down unsure of what to say, or how to bring up what he wanted to talk about.

For his part, Dick looked nervous too. He was leaning forward in his chair, his good leg raised up to rest on the edge of the seat. One of his hands fiddled with the corner of a notebook, lifting the pages and letting them slide down his thumb making a thwiping noise.

He tapped a finger on the arm of his chair, “I’m sorry.” he said at last, then before Dick could respond charged ahead, “I know I apologized already and we had a whole talk, but I’m talking about more than just the other night.”

“Tim, we talked about that too. I’m happy you’re out looking for Bruce, and being with your friends. I know how much they benefit from having you there.”

“Yes, but I’ve left you without a proper partner.” Tim said, “And it’s obvious you need one.”

Dick scoffed, “You too? Damian told me the same.”

“He’s right. And actually, that’s the other thing.”

This was what he’d been fighting with himself about. Handing over his partnership with Dick to someone else. He could say Damian could pick any name but Robin, but Batman needed a Robin. Tim knew that better than anyone. Gotham needed to see Robin out there as much as they needed Batman.

Tim could pretend that things wouldn’t be any different when he got done with his quest (however that ended), he could pretend he’d be able to slip right back into being Batman’s partner the same way he’d been prior to all this, but that was a lie. Even now he and Dick were more comrades than hero and sidekick, and that gulf would only grow if Dick and Damian started patrolling together. The two were already practically joined at the hip.

“I think you should make Damian Robin.” he said.

He found that it wasn’t as upsetting as he’d thought it would be, to imagine a different Robin. To picture the little gremlin in that role. To just, hand it over like that.

Dick visibly relaxed, his hand flattened on the book, “Really?”

Tim shrugged, “I’ve been thinking about it. More than just being here. I told Damian that I’d stay and be your partner if you wanted. But I honestly think he’d be better taking over, he can be here all the time, and doesn’t have a team or the distractions I do.”

“I’d been thinking about it too.” Dick sounded almost guilty, and he slid the book over, flipping it to a page with a corner folded down.

A few sketches filled the page. There was a full sketch of a new Robin uniform, with pieces doodled around it, a hooded cape, and combat boots instead of Tim’s old style.

The irritation Tim thought he wasn’t going to feel suddenly rose up. Dick had wanted to replace him? He’d told Tim that he wasn’t going to give Robin to Damian, that they’d pick something else.

Dick seemed to read the change in his mood, “I wasn’t going to give it to him until I’d asked you.” he reached out and put a hand on Tim’s, “I wouldn’t take Robin from you, even if I did think you were ready to spread your own wings.”

He flipped the pages back, showing Tim other uniform designs, one with a motorcycle helmet type mask and a fathered cape called Red Bird, another that looked a lot like a Nightwing uniform but with more armor and a scalloped cape. Tim’s irritation settled a bit at that.

“But you did consider Robin too.”

His brother shrugged, and looked a little chagrined, “You can’t really get mad at me for imagining it. You were never going to stay Robin forever.”

Tim sighed, “Yeah. I just, I don’t know. It’s dumb, I shouldn’t be upset when I said the same thing just a minute ago.”

“So, you’re still okay with it?” Dick asked.

“Yeah, yeah I am.” Tim nodded, “It’ll be good for the Gremlin. He’s already grown leaps and bounds just training with you.”

Dick smiled, “Thank you, Tim. You know I've still got your back no matter what right? Whatever name you pick or outfit, and hey!” the smile turned into a full grin, “I can even help you pick out a new uniform. Maybe break out the old disco wing outfit?”

Tim pulled a face, “No way, Damian might have to suffer through your fashion decisions, but I’ll make my own. Besides, I’ve already picked out a new name and outfit.”

“Oh?” Dick’s eyes lit up, “Do tell.”

So Tim did. He pushed his brother over and pulled up his directory on their shared drive to show him some rendered images. He’d been excited to finalize the idea, and he was even more excited to share it with Dick.

They spent the rest of the evening looking over Red Robin images, with Tim defending the name choice to his brother.

[wario-speedwagon]

"It's the summer of 1973, and Jack has nowhere else left to go. No one else left to turn to.

Peter is ridden with his own feelings of grief and betrayal. But he still has to answer the knock at the door."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Greetings, DSAF fandom. I come bearing a freshly microwaved angst one-shot, so come get it while it's hot!

Cuz as that one out-of-season movie said, "Never, ever let it cool!" Also, yes, I am drinking hot chocolate right now, no reason in particular. *disgusting slurp*

Jokes aside, I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it! <3

Full text below the cut if links aren't your style :)

Hot Chocolate

He had nowhere else to go; his house was seized, he didn’t have his wallet on him–he must’ve pocketed it while he was out–he was wanted for some reason if the Reno Gazette headline was to be believed…

The long journey here was a hazy memory as he looked back on it, probably because he spent most of it lost in his own head.

But he made it. This was Peter’s address.

He eagerly knocked on the door in front of him, but instead of anticipating relief, he became self-aware: how would Peter even react to how scarred he was all over? He hadn’t even been able to shower–other than the heavy rain right now–he was still in his bloodstained uniform–

The door began to click open and Jack hadn’t even thought of what to say.

Peter appeared behind the door. He looked worn down himself, but his face became incredulous as he surveyed his visitor.

“Peter… I failed… I couldn’t save her.”

Peter still looked back at him like a stranger.

“I don’t know what to do. I… I need help.”

His voice had come back, but it was still quite inconsistent.

“...Jack…?”

The man’s humbled silence seemed to confirm it.

“Jack, why are you here?”

“I have nowhere else to go– I don’t know what to do–”

Peter was afraid of his answer, but he had to ask.

“What happened to you?” It came out with more disappointment than concern.

“I…”

Jack didn’t know how to start. He realized just how outlandish the words that came to him would sound if he said them out loud.

“I don’t think you’ll believe me…”

Peter didn’t know how he should feel. Should he want to believe what he has to say? Was it naïve to hope he’d say that none of this was true? Should he believe him if he did?

“Just try me.”

Jack again tried to conjure the words to explain.

“...I was– i-it was Henry–”  No, he should start with Dee– 

“I l-left her behind, I didn’t mean for–  S-So I– I got a job there to– to find her–  And then he– H-H-He– He– It was h-him– He–” Dizzying nausea and an involuntary hand over his own mouth stopped him from continuing. 

Peter was flabbergasted. This person was so unlike his brother; he’d never seen Jack even remotely nervous like this before. He didn’t know what the appropriate response should be.

“Come– Just come inside.”

Jack nodded, mouth still covered as Peter ushered him out of the rain with an arm around his back. He was drenched and cold to the touch. He was shaking, but given the sorry display he just witnessed, Jack probably wasn’t shivering from just the rain.

He sat Jack down onto the couch.

“Hold on…”

Peter disappeared around the corner.

Time had stopped as Jack sat in that living room alone. He took in his current situation. 

…He was home now. Or close enough to it. He was safe for the first time since...–even if just for now.

Peter came back with some towels.

“Dry yourself off. I’ll go make us some hot chocolate. Does that sound fine with you?”

“Yeah…” It unintentionally came out as a voiceless whisper, but his nod answered for him.

Peter disappeared again to the kitchen. He figured Jack would need time alone to settle his nerves. But honestly, he also needed it for himself.

You shouldn’t be doing this. That man’s a criminal!… right? You just let a wanted criminal into your home–!

Faith, Peter. Hear him out first, he’s your brother for Christ’s sake!

Jack felt bad. The pale grey towels were turning a sticky maroon where he wiped. Dear lord, he hadn’t even checked a mirror since… that. What did Peter see him like right now?  The deluge of thoughts was creeping back again.

Who was he right now?

I’m dead. I’m a dead man walking.

Jack felt deeply unsettled again. 

He remembered the still-searing lines outlining his body with persistent, sensitive pain. They had closed after just a couple days untreated but they still weren’t fully healed. Nor were a couple of his bones either.

After those nights, this is nothing.

He made the mistake of pulling up a sleeve. He was disturbed by a reddish purple line down the under- and outsides of his forearm, but the rest of his arm had also assumed an unsightly jaundice.

Fuck, this was reality, though, wasn’t it?

You’re like them now.  Dead.

No, this isn’t real.  None of this is! This is all just a dead man’s fantasy.

That voice, that conversation, Fredbear– Heh– Fredbear.

I’ve gone insane, haven’t I?

Am I really dead, then? What’s going on? What is all this?

Can you do this for us?

Stop that, Jack, not now.

I need you to promise that you’ll save everyone. Please. Make the world brand new.

Jack, you’re insane, that never happened! It couldn’t have. You’re not here anymore.

No, I chose this.  I chose this.

“Here we are–…”

His voice snapped him out of it, and a nostalgic aroma carried Jack back to the living room around him. Peter had walked in, mugs in both hands. 

Peter carefully handed one to Jack who took it with both hands. While Peter pulled the coffee table toward them, Jack contemplated the mug that he held on his lap. He could feel its intense warmth course throughout his hands and thighs. 

It felt nice.

Peter moved the bloodied towels aside for room to sit.

“S-Sorry about…”

“Oh. Don’t… worry about it. They were cheap.” Not especially, but whatever.

Peter seated himself, and then the two sat there in a moment of silence.

Peter thought of how to break the silence, but seeing that Jack was transfixed on the hot chocolate he wasn’t drinking, he figured he’d respect the quiet for a couple minutes until he seemed more at ease. 

Peter began to drink from his own mug which subconsciously inspired Jack to start drinking his as well.

He tried to resist the urge to steal rude glances at the person right next to him. Jack’s gaunt, beaten appearance was incredibly concerning, enough to warrant a call for the hospital if he weren’t a wanted fugitive. 

Peter wanted to ask a million questions about what he’d been through, but Jack was woefully unprepared last time he tried to answer.

He’d need to ask simple, specific questions, or else Jack would probably bite off more than he could chew again.

“Jack, I’m sorry, but I need to ask you this directly.  Don’t... explain yourself, just ‘yes’ or ‘no’:

Did you abduct Dee?”

“No, b-but–”  Peter stopped him there.

“So someone else abducted her then?”

“Yeah.”

Some of Peter’s tension was relieved.

“Good… good, I’m glad… Okay, now tell me–slowly. What happened the day she went missing?”

He could see Jack becoming visibly upset.

“Y-You’ll never forgive me…”

Peter considered carefully how to respond.

“I’ll never forgive myself.”

“...You made some mistake… and she got abducted because of it, is that the general idea?”

“I… I guess, yeah…”

“What was that mistake? You and Dee went to Fredbear’s for her birthday, right?”

“I left her there alone. I assumed it’d be fine–”

Jack was losing his cool again.

“–it’d be fine, her friends, the adults were all there, th-they told me it’d be fine–”

Jack remembered who “they” were.

“I just left her there with HIM!”

“Who?”

“Henry!”

“Henry?”

“Peter, what’s going on?”

Caroline was standing midway down the stairs, holding a sleeping baby in her arms.

“Sorry, did we wake you?”

“Who is this?”

“He’s a-an old friend of mine. He’s having a bit of a… crisis I’m trying to work him through.”

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.  I’ll leave you two in privacy. Holler if you need me for anything.”

“Thanks, hon. Good night.”

“G’night, love. Oh, and tell him he’s allowed to spend the night here if he needs.”

“Will do.”

She yawned back up the stairs.

“So… Henry?”

“...Henry Miller.”

“Miller. That’s right, he’s the owner, right? They kept getting statements from him on the news every so often.”

“It was him.”

This was serious. 

“You mean he abducted Dee?”

“Positive.”

“And how do you know this for sure?”

Jack didn’t respond. He looked deeply conflicted. Hesitant.

“…Jack, you’re my brother, but it’s still your word against the authorities’. I can’t just believe you if you don’t tell me what happened.”

That turned out to be the wrong thing to say, as Jack only retreated further from talking.

There was no way he could begin to explain what happened in that room.

“Okay…um…”

Peter tried to think of a different question.

“Then why don’t you explain how you got so banged up?”

He could see Jack’s brain trying to come up with something to say, but still no dice.

“Okay…then–”

“...He…”

“Hm?”

“He… killed me…”

“...What?”

Jack was afraid to elaborate.

“He… killed you?”

“...”

“O-Okay, how did he… kill you…?”

He was visibly unwell again. 

“... Springl–”

“...Spring?”

No, there was no way Peter would know what that was.

And he desperately didn’t want to explain.

Before he knew it, Jack’s left ankle felt warm and wet, and he realized the mug slipped out of his fingers onto the floor.

It wasn't unlike how his blood felt oozing down his impaled calves.

He couldn’t collect himself to apologize. He just stared blankly at the spill, barely registering how Peter rushed to get some paper towels.

When Peter entered his gaze to sop up the spill, Jack attempted an apology.

“I– I’m–”

“Don’t worry about it.” He said it through a sigh.

He didn’t know what the right thing to do was. Jack was clearly shell-shocked, so he felt bad wanting to get answers out of him that made more sense. 

But if he couldn’t believe in him without a shadow of a doubt, then he couldn’t in good conscience harbor him in his home.

No, what am I thinking? It doesn’t matter what I think; if the police ever find out I interacted with him without alerting them– 

“Jack… I have a family to think about. You– You know you’re wanted… F-For her murder.”

He barely responded.

“I want to have faith in you, but no matter what I think, it’s dangerous for us if you stay here for long.

…If you won’t explain anything more, th-then I’m afraid I’ll have to ask you to leave now instead of later.”

He didn’t visibly react, but Jack was gravely considering Peter’s ultimatum.

“Here. Finish my hot chocolate, and if you’re not feeling up to it after then, then…”

“Can– …Can I at least spend the night…?”

Peter carefully calculated his request.

“...Fine.  But I’m dropping you off at a bus stop early in the morning, alright?”

“Could I borrow some money, too? Henry… took my wallet. When he killed… me…”

“Y-Yeah, sure.”

Jack was really insistent on saying that Henry “killed” him.  It was… disturbing. 

“Jack, if you’re up to it, could I still ask more about your injuries?”

“No, p-please… I’m tired…”

You won’t believe me anyway.  He couldn’t say that to him. Peter would always hear him out, and Jack couldn’t bear to be proven right.

*sigh*  “Okay, you’ve had a rough night. Why don’t I get you a change of clothes and a blanket and pillow? You can shower in the morning.”

Jack dreaded the idea of seeing all of his wounds bare, let alone putting soap to them. No, he’d also have to confront them tonight just to get changed.

For now, he just focused on finishing Peter’s lukewarm mug.

[terrainofheartfelt]

i’m reading your lovely jenate fanfic rn and one of the details i’ve really been enjoying is the way you characterize the sibling relationship between jenny and dan! and it has me wondering, more generally, how do you picture dan and jenny’s relationship playing out as adults? we don’t really get to see jenny post going to london on the actual show, and i’m curious how things might have changed or evolved between them with them both being on more equal relational footing, so to speak. (i also think i remember you mentioning here that you yourself have siblings, so as an only child i can imagine you probably have a much more nuanced picture of this than i do lol)

ohhhh thank you so much!!! this is something that I actually explore in the next chapter (posting forthcoming), but I'll talk about it now just to get ahead of that lol

I am thinking, in show canon -- and in the canon i construct in this au in which the show ends after Despicable B ;) -- that Jenny sort of...gives herself a clean break from all things New York, including Dan. and Dan, with all his abandonment issues, takes that harder than she probably sees at the time, but completely removing herself is what she needs the most in that moment. and then, a couple years later, they gravitate closer, but virtually.

with their work being so time-consuming and not really on the typical layman's schedule (like, writer and fashion designer lol what free time) they don't really have time to full on talk on the phone or facetime, but they text regularly, often over an inside joke or a link or a meme they need the other to see (because their partner wouldn't find it as funny)

I think Jenny as a grown up would find it easier to talk to Dan first about things over their parents, and vice versa, because their is this sibling kind of thing were no other person quite understands you the same way, and has known you this long and loved you this long. but the love is different from the love you feel with your parents. i'm not sure if this is entirely accurate...but the love feels...more unconditional somehow, because a sibling has more choice in loving you, but less failures of doing so.

and yes! I do have an older brother, our age difference (3 years) is slightly larger than Dan & Jenny's, but my relationship and experience with him informs - consciously and unconsciously - a LOT of how I write Jenny & Dan. Disclaimer: our pasts are not nearly as traumatic as these fake people, and our parents are still together (over 30 years WOOT WOOT), so our life experiences don't exactly line up

but that being said, I look up to my brother so much. and I switched school mid highschool (like jenny but for less fraught reasons) so I went from being "Andrew's Little Sister" everywhere I went to being just Liz, just myself. and that's an adjustment, from always being the little sister to growing into your own person, and I wouldn't have gotten that opportunity without moving schools, and Jenny probably wouldn't have without moving to London.

and my brother and I have followed our own paths and live in different timezones (and regularly different countries, he splits his time between the US and Canada it's a whole thing), but I never don't feel like he isn't there for me. I know with him I always have a place to crash and someone to send me cute pet pictures when I'm sad and someone who is just as worried about my dad's health as I am (again, whole other thing, not gonna get into it bc privacy but yeah). and I am never entirely lonely as long as he is existing someplace in this world. shit I'm gettting emotional just talking about it but,

he's the guy that drove me to my piano lessons and teased me for my music taste and took me to my first punk show and said "that was so good!" after every performance even though he knows nothing about opera. and when I had a 3 month contract in florida and couldn't take my cat with me he fostered Steph and now Andrew is Steve's favorite person and when I was unemployed I crashed in his apt while he was organized for the 2020 Iowa caucus and he crashed on my couch to visit me after I got my job and moved and we smoke weed and recite monty python and joke and laugh together and I can be a version of myself with my big brother in a way that I can't be with anyone else.

so to bring it back to your meta question, lmao, I imagine and attempt to write Jenny's relationship with her big brother in the same way. it's never the same as when they lived in the same house, and that's hard. (because they stopped living in the same house when he was 18 and she 16 and you can never really go back to that), and they each have their own lives and careers and loves that keep them where they are, but they are still always just...their for each other. and, if given the choice, they are the first person to hear the other's good news.