#IVE EVEN READ THE AWFUL ONES (not a good experience)

[sea-of-eden]

IANTJE!!!!!!!!! GRGBWHBBBDGAHHAHH

[commanderquinn]

a list of canon ways in which lillian hart is The Fucking Worst that cora coe deserves financial and emotional compensation for:

-the basis for the big divorce counseling mission is that cora's worried for her mother's safety. that means, before going on a deep cover operation with smugglers known to kill rangers, marines, or anyone else caught trying to interfere with their business, lillian didnt leave her daughter a heads up much less a lead. once the fuck again, this woman decided that her career was more important than her daughter's mental and emotional health. once the fuck again, this woman decided she could just disappear from cora's life and then come back out of the blue without consequence

-when you go to lillian's office to look for her at cora's request, the guy working the desk knows SAM well enough to know his name and give him shit like they've got a personal history, but he??? isnt sure about????? cora's name???? word for word, he looks at her and says "it's cora, right?" you're telling me that this woman doesn't talk about her kid enough for her fellow INVESTIAGATIVE rangers to be sure about her name??? are you SHITTING ME??????? get the fuck out of here. you cant push "ranger family values" and the close ties they have in one breath then claim she likes to keep a professional distance at work in the other. you wanna have the conversation about what fresh hell it is being a working mother in a position of power, lets go, ill have that conversation all day long. but lillian hart is not a fucking example of a working mother and im gonna be pretty fucking insulted for working mothers everywhere if i catch wind of ppl trying to pull that kind of defense card. the woman's an awful parent and should be held the fuck accountable for it. you wanna know how i know????

she doesn't say cora's name enough for the ranger watching the door to be confident in it, but he remembers alllll the stories of the captain her ex is cozying up to. and lillian is the one to confirm during the quest that she has been getting the stories from cora, so there's some clear "oh she already likes the stranger more than me." i know im reading into it because its fiction and none of these people are real, but ive also, y'know been in cora's shoes, so i can tell you from real life experience that shit does exist. idk if that was the writers INTENT, but it sure does a great job at reflecting a very sad reality

-sam points out its dumb that lillian wants to speed the ship, with her daughter on it, directly at the sydicate. idk abt y'all, but my ship was pretty dinky at that point bc i was focused on outposts, and we got ambushed by like 6 ship waves once we landed for that fight. again, i get it. game mechanics get a higher priority than realism. but this whole "we have to finish this because theres a chance you were spotted trying to rescue me" shit is so. nauseating. theres no demand to drop off cora somewhere safe, theres no "lets call in the cavalry." its this fucking egomaniac looking you dead in the eye and being like "i know i just traumatized the shit out of my kid but i need you to drive us into an ambush while she's still on board. hope you're a good shot because sam and i cant kill them ourselves." and so what that we did that????? YOURE TELLING ME IT WAS JUST THOSE SHIPS???? the rest of the organization is just going to LET IT GO???? like no fucking wonder sam sees himself as the better option even through all his fucking doubt. at least he knows when to turn the fuck around because shit is above his paygrade

-she has custody rights. she is a decorated and respected ranger. sam being a smuggler wasnt public knowledge, but point out one person in akila who wouldnt believe her in a heartbeat over it. everyone in town gives him nothing but shit, and they all side with his dad who was definitely no picnic to live with. im guessing big emotional detachment there, lotta interrogation and persecution rather than teaching and understanding. HELL, sam would probably own up to his past if lillian outed him for it, he's that type of idiot. at literally any point she could put in the effort to get legal council involved. if she's SOOOO by the law, whats the hold up there???? i agree the kid shouldnt be on my ship while im in the middle of a space fight. ive talked with sam about it, and im not even the kids parent (as of the personal quest). what the fuck are you doing about it lillian????????? oh thats right. we cant get lillian on the phone. whomp whomp.

-she made cora cry. hyper independent, "big girls dont cry" cora coe. multiple times. worse, she made cora cry because she made cora feel like she wasn't as important as lillian's career. i dont give a fuck what criminals are doing. i do not give a fuck. i give a fuck that that little pixel child got her heart broken and there isnt a dialogue for me to call out her mother for being a huge fucking cunt to her own daughter but theres a thousand and one options for me to tell sam he's parenting wrong. he is, and i have no problem using them when they're appropriate, but where the fuck are they for lillian??? why am i not allowed to tear this woman a new asshole at any point, but there's like 20+ extra dialogue options added to every single npc you have a persuade option with???? todd my head hurts and its your fault

-"im sure sam's told you all about me. go on. ask whatever you want." yet there is no option to ask what the fuck her problem is. so, clearly, i cannot, in fact, ask whatever i want.

-"but the looks i got from my fellow rangers reading alexander dumas... we do strange things for kids." yeah hart??? thats your standard????? THATS your idea of going out of your way for your kid??? literally how did sam fall for this woman oh my god i cant even listen to her speak without wanting to use the power of bitchhood i inherited from a long line of angry irish women to ridicule her to tears. maybe then she'll fucking understand how small she makes her fucking kid feel every time she turns a moment of bonding into a little "woe is me and my comfort zone oh how unfortunate i am to have a brilliant daughter that wants to connect with me through her greatest passion"

-she openly admits that she dumped the cargo sam was smuggling not because she felt any connection or sympathy or just didnt want to destroy someones chance at life in a capitalist society, but because he was a good pilot and she didnt want that talent to "go to waste" so she could recruit him. thats not really a thing against cora i just really fucking hate that and the picture it paints of her priorities as a human being

-"if we're going to be really honest here... back when we were a team... cora would follow you everywhere, like a little adoring dog. i... just fell out of it. long before we separated."

i literally. do not have words for how fucking disgusted i am by that line of dialogue. oh my fucking god. oh my fucking god. i. i TRULY would not even know where to start. the dog comparison makes me violently angry and if you'd given me a punch interrupt at that moment, i would have broken my keyboard punching the accept option

-go replay or watch a recording of that divorce counseling mission one more time. while you're doing it, imagine the roles reversed. imagine youre romancing a character thats a mother bringing cora into space, and the ranger standing in your cockpit asking to finish the mission is her father who took off to live at work once it was clear his little girl liked mommy better. imagine THAT while you listen to the (imo) out of fucking pocket dialogue where sam constantly praises lillian for being "a good ranger/woman." then you come back and tell me how comfortable you are with the concept of lillian hart as a character.

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

i adore reading your analytical posts abt soc so much jts not even funny; stumbling upon your account was like a coming across a goldmine 🙏 ALSO I RLLY WANT TO ONOW ABT THE SHE TREATS US LJKE MARKS ESSAY IVE NEVER THOIGHT ABT THAT RLLY also i loved the mr crimson post anw im sorry i’ll shut up now

Thank you so much, I’m so glad you like them!!

This is the first time someone’s submitted a question so bare with me because if there’s any way to do this wrong I’ll probably manage it, but here are my thoughts on the red herrings :)

She’s treating us like marks - an analysis of Leigh Bardugo’s use of red herrings in Six of Crows and Crooked Kingdom

*warning: CONSTANT SPOILERS AHEAD!*

I happen to be an absolute sucker for a good bit of foreshadowing, I think if it’s done well it’s one of the best literary techniques out there, so it’s something I always like to try and be on the look out for when I read. With books that I go back and reread, in this case many many times (seriously I’ve never specifically counted but I’m pretty sure I’m at over ten times each for the duology, it’s ridiculous), I like to find the things I didn’t realise were foreshadowing the first time round. When rereading six of crows and crooked kingdom, I realised that a lot of the things I expected to be foreshadowing didn’t actually come to fruition whilst other, seemingly less important, details were the actual foreshadowing. I LOVE IT! It’s genius, because it leaves the reader worrying about one thing so they’re too distracted to realise the groundwork is being laid for something else. But you know what that makes me think of? Kaz’s ideology of “What’s the easiest way to steal a man’s wallet? […] Tell him you’re going to steal his watch,” and “you have to let the mark feel like he’s won”. Leigh Bardugo literally cons us, and she tells us that she’s doing it in Crooked Kingdom when the group are certain that they know where Inej is being kept, but Kaz says “Too obvious. He’s treating us like marks”. GENIUS

So I compiled a few of my favourite examples (in no particular order), if you know of any I’ve missed please add more I would love to see them!!

The cannon at the Ice Court. When the Crows first arrive in Djerholm they see a cannon built into the the cliff face, a defence mechanism for the Court, and Kaz says what might be one of my favourite underrated lines of his: “I’ve broken into banks, warehouses, mansions, museums, vaults, a rare book library, and once the bedchamber of a visiting Kaelish diplomat whose wife had a passion for emeralds. But I’ve never had a cannon shot at me”. Jesper jokes that “there’s something to be said for novelty” but then continues to say that a cannon would be useless against a ship as small as theirs and that it’s designed for “invading armadas”. They don’t mention the cannon again, but it stuck in my mind when I first read it as a looming threat, a reminder that the danger wouldn’t end when they left the court. So when they arrived in the harbour was I expecting soldiers, or a heartrender, or for Nina to take parem? Nope, I was too busy worrying about the schooner being blown to pieces - especially when the Crows all have such specific painful and/or traumatic experiences linking to water, with 4 out of 6 of them being drowning related. But that isn’t to say that the waiting soldiers at the dock weren’t foreshadowed. All the way through Leigh Bardugo constantly reminds us that Matthias had never seen black protocol in action, and that his time in the prison sector had been brief, but she lulls us into a false sense of security by letting us believe that the secret bridge onto the White Island was all Matthias was hiding. We trust him by this point, so we don’t expect anything to be different to what he’s told us, even though this is an aspect he couldn’t possibly have predicted. Bonus points for the fact that Nina’s poor well-being in the aftermath of the drug is foreshadowed by a joke at the awful Inn they go to before the job; the food is disgusting and she says “when I don’t want to eat, you know there’s a problem”, and in Crooked Kingdom it’s many times emphasised that she’s unhealthily losing weight and her appetite has vastly decreased, with Matthias buying her chocolate biscuits “in the hopes she’d eat something”.

The poison pill. Leigh Bardugo worked very hard in Crooked Kingdom to make us think that Nina might die. We went into that book knowing there was a strong possibility that she wouldn’t come out the other side; we knew very little about how she was coping with parem withdrawal at the end of soc, but we had seen around a minimum of five grisha being destroyed by the drug so far. (That’s a guess I haven’t actually counted). So we went in with the idea that she was already in a precarious situation, and even though we begin to see her regain herself she struggles throughout the novel both physically and mentally in the aftermath of the drug. Matthias begins to dream of being lost on the ice in the worst storms known to Fjerda, knowing that she was out there somewhere and that he could not reach her. This sounds like it’s foreshadowing her death. Then when the pair go to the Ravkan embassy, Tamar gives Nina a small yellow pill that Genya made; she explains that it kills instantly and painlessly, saying “we all have them” to make sure they cannot be drugged and enslaved by the Shu government, who are hunting for grisha with the Khergud at the time. Matthias is terrified by this, but Nina just slips it into her pocket without a second thought. At that moment I thought that Nina would almost take the pill only to be stopped by someone else, because it felt too obvious that it would kill her, but I did wonder if the Khergud would be the ones to stop her and so she would still be lost. But the pill never gets mentioned again, except when the Dime Lions come for Nina at Sweet Reef and she briefly remembers that it’s still in her pocket. Then never again. And Matthias’ dreams were, of course, actually foreshadowing the FESTIVAL OF PAIN AND TORTURE that is chapter 40.

Mr Crimson. I’m so glad you like my Mr Crimson idea! Basically I posted saying I think that he represents death in the novels and I’ve also talked before about how I think the Komedie Brute costumes that the characters usually adopt are representative of their character; Kaz the Madman, Nina the Lost Bride, Inej and Wylan the Grey Imp, and Jesper and Matthias Mr Crimson. I won’t go into detail about all of them but if you’re interested the post is on my page, but with the idea that Mr Crimson represents death it’s very important to me that, although all of them wear his cloak at least once, he is the only Komedie Brute character taken on by Jesper and Matthias (at least to my recollection, feel free to correct me if I’m wrong). So of course I would argue that Matthias taking on the image in Crooked Kingdom foreshadows his death, but in that case what does Jesper’s represent? I came up with two options but I actually think you could combine them into one: it’s a red herring to make us align him with the literal death of Matthias, whilst actually foreshadowing the metaphorical death that his addiction and mental well-being are driving him towards as he tries desperately to stop them - in his own words to Colm “I’m dying anyway, Da, I’m just doing it slow”

Oh god sorry that this is yet another long post I hope y’all enjoyed this enough for it to be worth the time it takes for you to read all my ramblings 😭

Tagging people who asked for this one in the replies to my essay titles post - @the-magnificunt @flerkenkiddingme @luridorangeandviolentviolet @snowblack-charcoalwhite

[syrikif]

Gamer Etiquette

Kodzuken x Streamer!Y/N

Pairing: Kenma Kozume x Fem!Reader

Genre: SMAU, Written Elements, Strangers to Lovers, Romance, Fluff, Humor, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Streamer/Youtuber AU

Upcoming content creator/streamer, Y/N, has gone viral for lots of things. Her infamous dumb moments, her blended cookie recipe (which tastes better than it sounds), the way she rages at her friends during games, and about a hundred more.

But her most recent viral moment? Accidentally knocking famous streamer, Kodzuken, off the Bedwars map and making him lose his two year winning streak.

Now with more attention (and hate) than she ever asked for, her only option left is to go to the source: the man himself, Kenma Kozume.

Previous | Masterlist | Next

Chapter 2 (a): Bedwars

Word Count: 2171

“Hey guys,” you smile at your webcam, “How’s everyone’s night been so far?” You adjust to get just a bit more comfortable, wrapping your favorite blanket around your legs as you observe their responses in chat. 

“Oh my god you had sushi for dinner? That sounds so good.” You lean forward to get a closer look, “Awe thank you. I tried so hard to do my makeup today,” you inform everyone when you see a compliment fly past. “It took me like four business days to finish my eyeliner,” you roll your eyes at the memory. 

You start humming softly as you read through chat, prompting everyone to start spamming for music and making you smile. “Okay okay, I get it guys I’ll put some music on.” 

You pull open Spotify, selecting one of your favorite non-copyrighted playlists, “Is that loud enough? Oh- too loud?” You turn it down by about twenty percent, “Is that better?”

You grin, letting yourself relax against the back of your chair. “I don’t really have a plan for the stream; I just wanted to kind of chat for a little bit, explain why I was in the hospital and stuff.” 

YOU WERE IN THE HOSPITAL????

You laugh when you see the message, realizing too late that you’d probably just dropped a bomb on everyone who doesn’t follow you on any of your other social media. “Oh yeah, sorry guys.” You suddenly snort, “Did someone just say I was in hospice for being dumb?” 

You shake your head subconsciously, “Even funnier though is that they’re kind of right.” 

You reach forward to grab the bottle of water resting on your desk, “Don’t worry it’s not anything serious. Like at all.” You pause to take a brief sip of the iced liquid, cringing at how cold it is when it enters your mouth. “Holy shit,” you shudder, “That was so fucking cold.” 

You take a deep breath to regain your composure.

“Anyways, so basically I fell and hit my head yesterday and my friends just wanted to take me to the hospital to make sure I didn’t get a concussion or anything. And then it turned out that I was actually - like - super dehydrated so they wanted to give me an IV drip to get some fluids in me.” You lift your water bottle pointedly, “Hence the new addition to the stream.” 

Normally you’d rarely ever have water during a stream, and if you did it was kept in a much smaller bottle. It’s different now though (your roommate made sure of that) since your current water bottle is big enough to cover your entire face if you were to hold it up. 

“But now I am a-okay and in perfect condition. Well, mostly anyways.” 

You spend some time just singing along to the music and responding to some of the messages you see in chat. You feel yourself relaxing as you talk with everyone, your tense shoulders loosening and your voice growing just a bit louder as you get more comfortable. 

You’re always nervous to stream at first, despite having done it hundreds of times by now. You don’t think you’ll ever not be nervous to be completely honest. It was such a surreal experience, to be able to be so closely connected with so many different people from so many different places, that you were terrified of ever losing it. 

“Oh my god you guys. So I made some pumpkin muffins with chocolate chips in them the other day and they are literally like the best thing I’ve probably ever baked in my life.” 

Better than your blended cookies?

You roll your eyes, “Oh ha ha; you guys act like you’ve tried it. I promise you all that it’s literally ten times better than it sounds. I’ll have to post the recipe at some point because I genuinely think a lot of you would love them.” 

I can attest to that ✋

“Sho,” you excitedly exclaim as you see your friend’s username. “You guys know Shoyo right?” You feel your head tilt, watching the varying responses flood your chat box. “Well if you don’t know who he is, he’s literally - like - famous for playing volleyball.” 

I love Hinata! I met him once and he was so nice.

You nod rapidly in agreement, “Yes! He’s seriously gotta be the nicest person I’ve ever met.” 

“Do you want to get on call with me?” You direct the question towards your close friend, subconsciously biting your lip as you await his answer. 

Still at practice unfortunately 🙁

You pout, “Oh no.” With a small sigh, “I just don’t know what to do now. You got any suggestions, chat?”

You read as many messages as you can, eyebrows furrowing further the longer you sit there. 

“I’m seeing a lot of minecraft; do we wanna play a bit of minecraft?” You hum in thought, swaying in your chair as you consider the idea. “How about Bedwars?”

Chat practically erupts at your words, capitalized letters and emotes flying by so fast that you don’t get any chance to read a single one. “Okay okay,” you laugh, “I get it.” 

You set your water bottle back down, adjusting your keyboard to sit properly before grabbing your mouse. “Let’s play some Bedwars I guess.” 

~~~

“Fuck you!” 

You groan as you release your mouse, throwing your head back in annoyance as you die yet once again. 

“How the fuck do I keep on dying? Literally what the fuck!” You chance a glance at your chat, hiding a smile at their reaction to your raging. You’ll admit it, while you are actually frustrated with the game, you’re definitely playing it up just a little bit for your audience. 

You don’t wait for the round to end after you die, leaving the game and immediately running to join another one. You’ve been playing in teams of three, hoping that having the extra assistance would help you stay alive longer. 

So far it’s proved to be completely futile. 

“We’re definitely gonna win this one you guys,” you say just as the round begins. “Me-,” you pause to look at your teammate’s usernames, “PinkyFluff_22 and Kodzuken are going to absolutely demolish everyone else.” 

What did she just sayyyyyyy 😳

I’m sorry you and WHO????

No way she’s playing with who I think she’s playing with

One in a million chance lol

Wtf

“What is everyone freaking out about?” You question as you patiently wait to collect some iron and gold, watching one of your teammates begin to cover the bed with a measly defense of red wool. “Kodzuken?”

You buy some wood and Endstone from the villager before purchasing a slightly better sword than the wooden one you were given. “Oh they stream?”

Girl 💀

How do you not know who he is?????

“Bro I don’t know,” you shrug, “I just work here okay.” 

You sprint over to the bed, breaking the wool to replace it with the Endstone, layering the wood on top, and then finally placing the wool around it again. “I guess I’ll be bed defense then,” you say as you notice that you’re the only person left on the island. 

“Oh shit someone’s coming!” You duck behind the giant cube of wool, watching the name tag get progressively closer to your island. You jump out as soon as you feel like they’re close enough, attacking the unaware oncomer and knocking them off the island within a few easy hits. 

“Fuck yeah!” You jump around excitedly, proud of the way your plan was actually successful this time. “See that? I told you I’m not bad!” 

You abruptly flinch as your character turns and comes face to face with another player. “Holy shit!” You release a sigh of relief as you realize it’s only your teammate, Kodzuken. “That scared me so bad. Oh my god,” you release your mouse briefly to place your hand on your chest. 

While you’re distracted trying to calm your heartbeat, Kodzuken suddenly stops before you. “What is he doing?” But before you even have time to be suspicious he suddenly drops a pile of diamonds and emeralds on the ground. 

You blink.

“Huh?” He looks pointedly at the gems then back up at you and back down, lightly tapping the block they’re floating on. “Is he giving them to me?” 

You glance over at your chat, your character finally going into motion when you realize they’re all screaming at you to go pick them up. “Jesus, sorry. I got them, see? Look, I’m picking them up right now.” 

You collect everything on the ground, crouching and un-crouching multiple times as a way to thank him. “Oh- shit,” you pause as a popup suddenly appears, “Stupid sticky keys!” 

By the time you manage to exit out of the window, Kodzuken is nowhere to be found. “Well,” you look at your webcam, “That was unexpected.” 

You quickly open game chat to send him a private message as fast as you possibly can. 

“Thanks :)”

It’s the best you can do with the little time you have but you hope he appreciates it nonetheless. 

“Okay, I’m gonna up our bed defense.” You repeat the earlier process all over again, only this time you add obsidian and make the outer layer made of wood. “Now that’s like literally impenetrable.” 

You upgrade your sword to a bow and arrows before purchasing some TNT and fireballs and buying the Miner’s Fatigue trap. “Now the real question is whether I try to attack the bases next to us or not.” 

Attackkkkkk

You’re gonna die

Kill them

We believe in you

“I guess it’s decided then,” you quickly shake out your hands. “Okay,” your voice fades as you run across the bridge you could only assume one of your teammate’s made. 

You’re extremely quiet as you make your way across, keeping your eyes on the island next to you and turning back every now and then to check on your own. You’re biting your lip as you slowly make your way across the rival team’s bridge, crouching the entire time to hide your name. 

You’re roughly twenty blocks away when you take the next step. Still crouching, you aim a fireball at their seemingly wool covered bed. “Yes!” You cheer as it makes its mark, blowing up the wool and revealing wood below it. 

You know that you’ve alerted the players at this point (there’s no way you haven’t) so all you can do is run into the fire. 

You’re panicking as you place some TNT around the bed, running away and into a player from the enemy team as it explodes. You use your mediocre sword to hit them away from you, mentally sighing as they get hit back enough for you to run away. “Oh my god oh my god oh my god,” you sprint towards the now revealed blue bed. 

“Blue Bed was destroyed by Soft_Paws!”

You squeal out of both fear and excitement, adrenaline racing through you as you’re attacked by two of the blue players at once. You throw a fireball at them, shouting for joy when one of them is successfully knocked off the island. 

“Holy shit!”

The next player is harder to kill, your health rapidly deteriorating as you battle with nothing but a stone sword and your adrenaline. 

You have one heart left when it finally happens.

“Ecstasy.png was killed by Soft_Paws”

“Yes!” You kick your feet out, jumping up from your chair with your excitement before remembering that you’re still in a game. “Holy fuck I did it. I actually did it, you guys!” 

She’s CRACKED

LETS GOOOO

WOOOOO

YEEEEESSSSSS

~~~

Roughly five minutes later, you’re still in the round. Everyone’s bed has been broken at this point but there are still three teams that are yet to be eliminated, yours included. 

You’re sort of just hiding at the base, watching the chaos from afar as your one and only teammate left (Kodzuken) goes on a murder spree. 

He’s running back to the team’s island when the incident occurs.

All you see is yellow leather armor and a yellow name tag, sprinting on the bridge connecting your base to the emerald island. You don’t even consider the fact that they’re currently being chased down by your teammate, you just aim. 

Your aim is exceptionally good, so good in fact that the explosion knocks off both the yellow player and Kodzuken. 

You freeze at the realization, your mouth falling open in complete horror as you piece together what you’d just done.

“I did not just do that,” you whisper, mostly to yourself as the events replay in your mind. “Oh my god,” you facepalm - forgetting (once again) that you’re still actually alive and participating in the game - and completely missing the person running towards you on the other bridge. 

You hear the sound of something being attacked, echoing through your headphones and making your eyebrows furrow with confusion. 

You abruptly gasp, but by then it’s too late. 

You’re dead. And your team has lost.

Taglist: @crazy-people-are-here, @existential-traveller, @peachesncats, @royalz658

Any names in bold are unable to be tagged.

[stellar-constellations]

ive got 0 idea if you takes reqs, but i recently finished your yuri briar x reader AND IM IN LOVE

so.

we got a slightly sick yuri, but what about an extremely ill y/n that yuri has to take care of ? with his stubborness theres sure to be some aruging

of course, if youre not feelig up to oneshots, some cute headcannons for them whould be awesome !!

youre such a great writer mwah i hope you have a good day !! :3

        Sick! Fem! (Y/N) x Yuri Briar

        This can be read with or without reading my Yuri Briar x Fem! Spy! (Y/N) series: An Alliance (part 1).

Beware! This fic DOES contain SPOILERS for the manga and for the Yuri Briar x Fem! (Y/N) series: An Alliance!

        Setting is AFTER the reader rejoined WISE (so Yuri and (Y/N) are married and [Y/N] becomes an official double-spy).

        I rarely get sick. I think part of that is because of all the viruses and infectious pathogens I've been exposed to growing up. Growing up in the poor side of Luwen, Westalis. Joining the Westalis military and watching as doctors with not enough medical experience or knowledge bullshit their way through life-threatening procedures or even unknown viruses from Ostania get tons of syringes jabbed in their shoulders. Traveling through countries and hiding in sometimes very unhygienic places as a spy. All of those factors has probably helped with my strong immune systems.

        There's been times where I've been sick that it's completely left me bedridden for days, sometimes even a week or two, at a time. Every once in a blue moon, I'd get a common cold or sore throat, but if I can walk, then I can work.

        I figured today must've been one of small common cold days when I woke up with a foul taste in my mouth. You know when you're sick and you have that awful taste when you cough? It's taste like that sour, off-putting taste.

        I ignored the system and buried my head back into my pillow, hearing the annoying alarm shut off thanks to Yuri.

        "(Y/N), it's time to get up." Yuri spoke.

        We've both grown used to this routine now. Yuri spends a good ten minutes trying to drag me out of bed while I lay motionless, purposely ignoring him as I try to go back to bed.

        Today, however, I feel even more tired than usual. It feels awfully hot under these covers and my body feels really sore, almost numb.

        "Come on. Don't start this today! You know we have an important meeting with the Director!" Yuri groaned, getting back on the bed to crawl over to my side and grabbing my arm.

        Right, the meeting with the Director. I'm supposed to go over there and discuss any new information on WISE in correlation to the chase with Winston Wheeler (and Twilight).

        Me and Yuri finally healed up enough to where we can be sent back to work. I was getting real sick of that liquid diet, I never want to have soup for breakfast, lunch, and dinner ever again (Yuri can agree with me on this). My broken nose is also healed too so now I can stop wearing that stupid bandage.

        Apparently, there's been a security breach in the SSS's latest website and I'm supposed to narrow down a list of potential suspects that could've caused the breach. I contacted The Handler last night and had her conduct a list of unfortunate Ostanian civilians to place blame on. I don't like having to bring innocent people into such matters, but I don't really have a choice. If the SSS finds out I'm still working with WISE, I'm royally screwed. The work the agents in WISE are given is far too important to sacrifice, so unfortunately I'm going to have to trade in unsuspecting civilians in order to keep the peace between Ostania and Westalis.

        I already know the true perpetuator of who caused that security breach; it was me. I needed information on Winston Wheeler so I hacked into the SSS's security files and emails and got information, then I snuck into city hall and got some public files of Ostanian citizens with the information I learned and was able to identify WISE's mole with just a tad bit of luck. The whole operation almost costed me my head with how I almost got exposed as a WISE agent to Yuri in the sewers along with almost dying to Winston (I'll never say this to her face, but thank God that Nightfall came when she did).

        "Fine, fine..." I groaned, moving my hair out of my eyes and slowly sitting up from my bed.

        I stood up from the bed and felt lightheaded, whiteish-black dots appearing in my vision as my body temperature raised and a nauseous feeling came over me, my ears ringing as I felt the dull thud of myself collapsing onto the carpet.

        I saw nothing for a long time, but a short time as well. I was able to regain my vision and found myself on the floor with Yuri hovering over me.

        Damn, I fainted.

        I've fainted a lot in my lifetime to the point it's probably unhealthy now. Exhaustion, extreme sickness when I'm bedridden, and sometimes even just from changing position too fast or standing in the same position for too long. By now I'm very aware of the symptoms, I just usually believe I can fight through it and continue on (the amount of times I coaxed myself into believing this then fainting afterwards is absolutely foolish of me by now).

        "(Y/N)? Are you okay?" Yuri questioned, a concerned expression on his face.

        "I tripped over my feet." I lied.

        "You sure stayed on the ground for a while. You weren't responding to me." Yuri responded, a bit suspicious.

        "I was hoping you'd leave me alone so I could go back to bed." I lied, again.

        "Seriously? Come on, we've got work to do." Yuri sighed, grabbing my nightgown's sleeve.

        Luckily my sleeve was covering my arm so he wouldn't come into direct-contact with my skin and feel how hot it is.

        "Do we want to cook breakfast or go grab some?" Yuri questioned, lifting me up from the ground with ease, placing me on my feet as I mumbled a "thanks".

        "Let's go out. I don't feel like cooking. I'm still sleepy." I responded, watching as Yuri walked to his closet and grabbed a pair of mundane office clothes.

        "I was thinking the same thing. It'd be quicker too." Yuri commented.

        I inhaled deeply, feeling as though I couldn't breathe through my nose. I still felt light-headed and I feel like I'll topple right over if I take a step forward.

        "Can you choose my clothes today? I don't wanna." I breathed out, crawling back into bed and staying above the covers since it felt too hot to get under them.

        "Don't plan on falling back to sleep. I will drag you into the car with you still in your nightgown if I have to." Yuri grumbled, shooting me a glare but walking to my closet nonetheless.

        He looked through the hanging clothes before grabbing a green sweatshirt and finding a pair of blue jeans on a shelf. He threw the clothes at me as I worked up the energy to get today started.

        "You better be dressed by the time I'm done changing." Yuri emptily-threatened, grabbing his own clothes and walking into the bathroom.

        I huffed, wanting to do anything but get out of bed, yet I decided to listen to him. He's right, today is an important day. It'll help me prove my innocence to the SSS (and I have to make sure I keep Donnie's little trap shut in case he decides to put his two-bits in and expose that I was gone during the whole mole hunt.

        I stood up from the bed, ignoring my wobbly head and aching head as I changed into the clothes Yuri picked out for me. It's funny that even though we're both basically married now (just without throwing a real wedding), we still change in separate rooms. I'm completely fine with that though, it's nice to take things slow.

        I grabbed sock and brown boots and slipped them on, then immediately fell back onto the bed to get at least an extra minute or two of rest.

        Yuri came out and looked at me, crossing his arms as he stared at me with his laser eyes.

        "Are you sure you're okay? Your throat sounds sore. Do you want a cough drop?" Yuri questioned.

        "I'm just really tired." I spoke, adverting eye contact.

        "Should we get coffee too?" Yuri asked, tying his boots on.

        "Yeah, that's a good idea." I nodded, raising my hand up in the air for Yuri to grab.

        He grabbed my hand without question and lifted me off our bed, allowing me to plant my feet back on the ground. I reached for my glasses on the dresser (if you wear any) and grabbed my wallet, shoving it into my pocket.

        "You're really hot." Yuri commented.

        "Thanks." I smiled, still having some energy to mess with Yuri.

        "I meant your skin is hot. Are you really sure you're feeling okay?" Yuri questioned, his concerned expression appearing.

        "I'm fine! I'd tell you if I feel off, so don't worry about it, love." I spoke, giving him a smile in hopes to reassure him.

        His shoulders released some tension, but they still weren't fully relaxed, so he doesn't believe me just yet.

        "I just have a small cold, nothing I can't handle. Now let's go, we still have work to do." I spoke, grabbing his hand and leading him to the door through blurry vision.

        I bumped into the door and huffed, feeling around for the handle.

        "(Y/N), that's a wall. The door is behind us." Yuri pointed out.

        On normal days, he'd chuckle about how much of a dumbass I am, but today he seems really in-tune with my physical state.

        "My vision is still blurry 'cause I'm tired." I spoke, coming up with that stupid excuse on spot.

        "Here, let me help you." Yuri spoke, guiding me over to the bedroom door as he opened it, pushing me through before walking out and closing it behind him.

        "I got the rest." I reassured, taking a few steps forward to go to the front door.

        I stopped once I felt my stomach start to turn and my vision start to blur once more. My ears started ringing and it felt like I was swaying from side to side.

        I took silent deep breaths to calm myself down and hopefully settle my immune system, all while Yuri stood behind me, closely observing me.

        "Are you sick?" he finally questioned.

        "No." I huffed stubbornly, gathering my energy to take another step.

        It was a terrible idea as I immediately fell forward, my body going limp as I couldn't control my feet or hands or anything any longer. Even though I was unconscious, I felt pressure under my head and on my wrist. I saw darkness again and waited for it to pass, before finally regaining my vision once more.

        Yuri had his hand under my head, checking my pulse before making eye contact with me as the waves of blurriness started to fade from my sight. He gave me a look I'd never think I'd get shot my way for fainting, he gave me a scowl.

        "I'm not sick." He taunted in a high-pitched voice.

        "Oi! I don't sound like that!" I huffed.

        "You told me you weren't sick. You said you'd tell me if you were feeling off, you little lying brat." Yuri huffed, moving his hand from under my head and allowing it to hit the ground with a thud!

        "Ow..." I groaned, reaching up and grabbing my head as my head ached, probably a headache forming. "Jerk! I didn't treat you like this when you got sick!"

        "I didn't lie when I got sick!" Yuri retorted.

        "Y-yeah... but..." I paused, thinking of something to say. "Just shut up and help me!" I huffed.

        "You're lucky I'm a nice guy." Yuri muttered, grabbing my hand and picking me up, throwing me over his shoulder.

        He opened our bedroom door and placed me back down on our bed, making sure to keep the covers off me. He walked up to his separate nightstand and picked up the phone, sliding the rotary wheel to his desired digits until he raised the phone up to his ear.

        "Hello, Director? This is Yuri Briar speaking. Me and (Y/N) Briar are going to take the day off, she's terribly sick and I don't trust her to be by herself. We can reschedule the meeting another day?" Yuri spoke

        "Oi! I hear you!" I huffed, throwing a pillow at him (albeit weakly).

        "Yes, that was her. She sounds terrible, huh?" Yuri spoke, now just taunting me.

        "You're a horrible man..." I grumbled.

        "Yes, sir. Thank you so much." Yuri spoke before hanging up the phone. "Looks like you're going to get your shut-eye after all."

        "Thanks, Yuri!" I smiled.

        "Do you think you can stomach anything? Do you want some soup?" he questioned.        

        "Yeah, I guess." I sighed.

        "I'll go make you some. Now, you change into some more lighter clothes so you won't be as hot, then you can go back to sleep." Yuri ordered.

        It really wasn't something I'd fight him on as I nodded, taking the pajamas I was wearing earlier from Yuri's hands. Yuri left the room as I changed, then got back into bed. I closed my eyes (taking off my glasses if needed) and listening to Yuri's command on some shut-eye.

        Yuri woke me up sometime later, gently shaking me awake.

        "Hey, wake up." Yuri spoke, coaxing me to waking up.

        I opened my eyes to see Yuri's face. He picked me up from the bed and took me out and into the dining room, sitting me down on my dining table seat. A bowl of simple broth sat in front of me, something simple that I wouldn't throw up.

        "You can eat on your own, right?" Yuri questioned.

        "Nope." I smiled.

        "Of course..." Yuri grumbled.

        He grabbed his chair and pulled it up close to me, our knees touching as he lifted my chin up and grabbed the spoon.

        "You should keep your distance if you don't want to get sick." I spoke.

        "Don't worry about it. The only time I get sick is when Yor is out of town." Yuri spoke.

        Right, I remember having to take care of him when Yor left a few days for her job at city hall. He's surprisingly easy to take care of since he doesn't talk as much when he's sick due to his aching throat. I thought.

        "Open up." Yuri commanded.

        I didn't put up a fight as I opened my mouth, taking a sip from the spoon.

        "It's pretty good, Yuri." I complimented, opening my mouth for another spoonful.

        "I got the recipe from a cookbook." Yuri admitted, scooping up some more and putting it in my mouth.

        I finished the bowl and thanked him as he picked me up and carried me back to our room, placing me down on the bed.

        "I'll be back. You just hang on a second." Yuri spoke, walking out of the room.

        He came back with a towel and some medication in hand.

        "Do you like medicine?" Yuri questioned.

        "No, who does?" I questioned, looking at him funny.

        "I mean, will you put up a fight?" he questioned.

        "...I mean, I guess not since it's for my health?" I muttered.

        "Good." Yuri smiled, twisting open the cap and pouring the dark red liquid into a small medicine cup.

        He raised the spoon to my mouth as I sighed and opened my mouth, drinking the liquid. It tasted disgusting and I hated every drop of it, but I understood it was for my health.

        "Thank you for taking care of me, Yuri. You didn't have to take the day off too to take care of me, but you did anyways. I appreciate it greatly." I smiled.

        "It's the decent thing to do." Yuri muttered, not taking the gratitude.

        "Don't underestimate your kindness, Yuri. I was just messing with you when I said you're horrible." I admitted.

        "I know that much, dummy." Yuri huffed, flicking my forehead with his finger.

        He pushed my chest for me to lean back on my pillow, then grabbed the cold wet towel and placed it on top of my forehead.

        "Now get some more rest, I'll come check up on you in a bit." Yuri spoke.

        "Thanks again, Yuri. I love you." I smiled, watching as his face started to match his eyes as he covered his mouth with his arm to hide his smile.

        "Whatever... I love you too." He muttered softly, but I could still hear him.

        The whole day Yuri tended to my needs as I got my well-deserved rest. It's nice to finally be able to sleep all day again, the last time I did that was years ago.

        I can't remember the last time I was cared for when being sick. Before the war when I was a kid, I remember being bedridden for three days and being unable to do nothing. My dad was out working and my mom was sleeping because she worked night shifts as a nurse (she was able to find a hospital that allowed married women to work there), so she slept during the day and went to work at night.

        My younger siblings couldn't take care of me because they were too young to have any medical knowledge. My older sister was out collecting rocks and my older brother was out with his friends. Even if they weren't busy, they still wouldn't be able to help me since they've never gotten sick (or at least didn't remember it).

        Even after joining the military and ending up getting the Spanish Flu I wasn't care for. It was actually a miracle I survived it because of my age and size. I must've found a lucky penny or something around that time because I luckily didn't have any severe symptoms, but after seeing all the people dying around me from the illness, I took absolutely no chances to being transported in the crowded nursing tent. I stole a small tent and ran far out into the woods along with a bottle of medicine, eight water bottles, four cans of tomato soup, and a blanket, spending five nights out there before I finally felt better.

        Because I didn't allow myself around any others to worsen my sickness, my Memory T-cells were able to identify and grow an immunity to the disease and I was able to overcome it.

        Even when I became a spy, the first few missions I got sick pretty often because of all the traveling and sight-changes I had to endure, but I soon grew accustomed to the constant change in scenery all around Westalis and Ostania that my immune system was eventually able to get used to it.

        But even then, it's nice to be cared for and pampered. The last time I got fed by someone was when I was two. The last time someone tucked me in for bed was when I was three. I never did have someone make me soup for when I'm sick, or give me a wet towel to place on my head, or even just give me a bottle of medicine.

        Even those the gestures might be small and "what a decent human being does" as Yuri said—it means the world to me. To be swaddled in the warmth of protection and love, something I was once sure I'd never be able to experience again until I met Yuri Briar.

        The ring on my finger isn't just a ring; it's an everlasting vow between two lives now connected through life and death, sickness and health, wealth and poverty. It's a pledge of undying adoration, sincerity, unwavering loyalty, and shelter; all of this for Mr. and Mrs. Briar to share with one another.

        BONUS: Headcannons about Yuri and (Y/N):

        Yuri and (Y/N) have their own seats at the dining table they silently assigned to themselves. Yuri's seat is the closest to the front door, he chose this seat in case (Y/N) ever does try to run away to go back to WISE (in actuality, it's so he can protect her if an intruder ever breaks in from there).

        Believe it or not, Yuri and (Y/N) aren't much of physical lovers. The love languages in their relationship is quality time, acts of service, and (shockingly) words of affirmation.

        (Y/N) can't detect sarcasm despite being sarcastic herself at times.

        (Y/N) used sleeping as a coping mechanism growing up. She used it to escape from reality; the hardships of money and war, deception and betrayal. She slept so much she learned how to lucid dream on her own. Now she sleeps because she's tired often due to work.

        (Y/N)'s always tired no matter how much sleep she gets; 30 minutes to a day. She once slept for 22 hours once and woke up feeling miserable. She slept for twenty minutes while waiting for a target during a mission and still felt like total shit; so no amount of sleep can truly make her feel 100% awake.

        (Y/N) has problems with memorizing people and their names so she focuses on a certain attribute that helps her recognize a person (ex. someone's hair color, the shape of their eyes, their jacket).

        (Y/N)'s memory isn't good either, she'll be in the act of cooking then forget she's cooking and walk away. Yuri now supervises (Y/N) to make sure she doesn't wander off and let the smoke alarm go off again.

        If (Y/N) had the option to go to the past, future, or stay in the present, she would choose staying in the present in a heartbeat. She believes if she goes to the past she might mess something up that would make it so Yuri and (Y/N) never met, and she doesn't want to go to the future in case she discovers something then accidentally messes up the future by going to the present and changes actions that would've led her to something happy in the future to something disastrous instead.

        Yuri's side mission in life is to try to discreetly find out (Y/N)'s favorite flower without being caught. He wants to surprise her but refuses to ask her for the answer. So far it's been a month of trying.

        (Y/N) has absolutely no idea when she's being flirted with by someone other than Yuri because she doesn't believe it's possible that someone could actually have interest in her (she still secretly questions if Yuri's proposal was true or if it was a gig to gain trust for their contract).

        Yuri has memorized every speckle of color in (Y/N)'s eyes because of how often he stares into them. He is a firm believer of giving someone his attention when they're talking with him.

        Yuri does, indeed, like to mess with (Y/N) because he thinks it's cute when she gets frustrated.

        When (Y/N) gave Yuri's mother brownies as an offering he cried in his car the entire time that (Y/N) talked to Yuri's mother. That day was the day Yuri started to lower his guard without even realizing it.

        Even though Yuri and (Y/N) bicker a lot, they're very aware of their true feelings since they always look at each other's eyes when talking (the eye is the window to the soul after all).

        It's a known fact that Yuri and (Y/N) always work with each other at the SSS. They help each other with listening to bugged rooms, Yuri listens and (Y/N) writes. Whenever they do interrogations, they're always in the room with each other in case one of the interrogators decide to get hostile. During raids, (Y/N) prefers to be lookout while Yuri heads into action. Even though (Y/N) doesn't like Yuri fighting with the possibility of getting injured or possibly even killed, (Y/N) doesn't like fighting up close due to the hostility she experienced in the military (the same applies with guns due to this).

        Yuri learned about (Y/N)'s dislikes towards guns and does his best to get them both out of raids or missions that involve them. He doesn't want to have her forced into a situation that makes her uncomfortable or feel threatened.

        Yuri and (Y/N) have come to the comprise that Yuri cleans and (Y/N) cooks after Yuri complained a lot about (Y/N) doing all the housework. Yuri doesn't like the thought of using (Y/N) like that, even if they live in the 1950's.

        As previously mentioned in this fic, (Y/N) got the Spanish Flu. She got the Spanish Flu by walking into the nursing tent to bring a sick comrade in. While she was in there, she saw someone have a terrible reaction to the vaccine they were given, foaming through their mouth and blood pouring out of their eyes and nose, that started her intense fear of needles (want to know how Yuri helps? Check out this fanfic along with the head cannons in it!)

        Yuri and (Y/N) like watching sci-fi movies and debating whether the events could one day be true or not. These debates get very heated, logical, and serious; some are still ongoing to this day.

        Yuri's ([Y/N]'s really) teddy bear (teddy bear is introduced in the Yuri Briar x Fem! Spy! Reader series, part 9) is named Graham Cracker because of the fur's color (Yes, [Y/N] named it).

        (Y/N) once had a dream of being an astronaut because she loved the stars so much. Now, she's not exactly sure what she wants to be career-wise, but she wants to be truly happy and have an ordinary life (which means ditching the SSS and WISE).

        Yuri once took (Y/N) out on a roadtrip to go to a space museum out of Ostania. In the middle of the night he stopped the car on a hill and prompted (Y/N) out of the car and pointed up at the stars. Yuri's mind has the image of her stargazing engraved in his mind. (Y/N) had never seen as much stars as she did then and she started crying hysterically because it was the most considerate and romantic thing anyone had ever done for her. Yuri now takes (Y/N) out to see the stars at the same hill at least once a month.

        Sometimes Yuri goes on complete rambles about Yor, specific adventures he had during missions, some biology facts he remembers from school, or even just Ostanian politics and (Y/N) would look at him with the world's brightest eyes and soft smile. Once he notices, his voice becomes softer and he stumbles over his wording a lot. (Y/N) will bring him back to with a soft "go on, love" despite hearing this subject hundreds of times before, and it'll officially explode Yuri's mind and heart.

        (Y/N) got Yuri into Frank Sinatra and Doris Day songs. Yuri's mood could be terrible but if he hears any one of their songs he'll immediately start cheering up because of the memories their songs bring. His favorite is "Fly Me to the Moon" from Frank Sinatra and "It's Magic" from Doris Day. (Y/N)'s favorites are "Blue Moon" from Frank Sinatra and "Dream a Little Dream of Me" from Doris Day.

        (Y/N) absolutely loves Christmas music. She loves decorating the apartment with festive lights and baking holiday foods. Yuri used to be indifferent about the holidays but now he can't wait for the next Christmas because of the first Christmas they spent with each other and the Forger family.

        (Y/N) was given the code name "Vixen" because of how she lured and deceived others. She stuck to using her looks as a form of deception since she had a hard time switching personalities due to her morals and how opinionated she is.

        (Y/N) hates receives gifts because it feels like she's indirectly using someone for money, being too needy, and now has a debt she needs to pay.

        (Y/N) and Yor meet up every weekend after work to talk about work, their family, and get to know each other better since they're in-laws. (Y/N) still finds Yor scary, but now she's determined to protect Yuri because of how kind-hearted and nurturing she is. (Y/N) makes sure to walk Yor home so Yor doesn't get into any danger (unbeknownst to [Y/N], Yor is the true danger).

        (Y/N) meets up with Camila and Yor once a month to teach Yor a new recipe. It's a really good bonding experience and it gives (Y/N) a healthy amount of social interaction without having to try and lie to anyone for ulterior motives. (Y/N) loves being able to call therm her friends since growing up she didn’t have any (that are still alive, that is. Twilight and Franky are like brothers).

Thank you so much for requesting! I love writing for Yuri, especially because of how dry the Yuri train is on Tumblr.

Want more Yuri content? Check out the Yuri Briar x Fem! Spy! reader series: An Alliance! Or perhaps something short and sweet? Check out another adored request WITH more head cannons!

        Have any other requests? Check my masterlist to see the characters I write for: Masterlist

[maiswrld222]

To Have You 14.02.2003

H. Hyunjin x Male Reader

Y/N is a new student at Hyunjins school and they meet on the bus. Hyunjin then realised the friendship between the two ruined his popularity image so he distances himself between him and y/n. But when Hyunjin realised he was blind all along and tries everything he can to win male reader’s heart, it becomes too late and Y/N’s heart belongs to someone else.

Genre: Angst, fluff (if you squint)

Songs to listen to while reading this book: 기다릴게 - Taekwoo

A/N: please listen to that song while you read this book :( i promise the experience will be rlly good

Hyunjin Pov:

How. How did I end up here. Standing lifeless as tears filled to the brim of my eyes. Seeing you.. with him.

A few months earlier~

Hearing my alarm clock singing to awaken me from my slumber was a signal for me to get ready. I hopped out of the thin sheets and did my routine for school as usual - brush my teeth, wash my face, brush my hair, and get into my school uniform. nothing too important as I don’t really mind how I look. walking down the stairs to greet my single-hard working mom and my little sister, I exit out the front door of my small house and walk to the bus stop.

Boarding my bus I sit where there were only two seats left. those seats being at the very back of the public vehicle. Watching the lifeless trees and boring people of the town pass by, the bus suddenly comes to a stop. the bus door then opens to the most beautiful boy I have seen in my entire life. you walked down the aisle and had no choice but to sit next to me. I stared at you in awe as you placed your black tote bag in between your oxford shoes. You turn to look at me to wave and introduce yourself.

“Hi. I’m y/n” accompanied yourself with the sweetest smile one has ever seen. Trying not to make the situation awkward I say hi and introduce myself back. “um I’m new to this school… do you mind if you show me around?” you say with shyness evident in your voice. “Of course. I’d love to.” I say back while giving a smile.

Showing you around was fun as we slowly got to know each other. being in this moment with you felt like a dream. though we’ve only met I’ve slowly come to realise that I like you.

Time skip to many months later~

we’ve been best friends for a while now. although those moments of friendship were deserved to be cherished I’ve come to realise this isn’t right. I’m straight. I’m a guy who is supposed to end up with a beautiful girl. I now start to notice the stares everyone gave us during our time of being friends together. well I mean I’m the most popular boy in school. And to be with a new student who’s a feminine boy, I couldn’t have let myself come to like you.

I asked to meet in the courtyard to have a talk. after the gut-wrenching talk i left you by yourself in the courtyard and left you all alone with tears brimming at your eyes. Even though this was for my popularity and image I did this for the better and to distance us apart.

A few weeks later~

Although I promised myself to distance from each other, I couldn’t help but stare at you between now and then. I was more that delighted to see you now with your new friend group. seeing you laugh and smile around them made me crazy for you. I also couldn’t help but pleasure myself often thinking about you. Deep down inside me ive always wanted to hold you, care for you, love you, and treat you like the you’re the most precious thing in the world.

We glanced at each other once and whilst you quickly looked away, I stayed in my position staring at you. I love you. so 1 day later until valentine’s day and it’s surprising that i’m the most popular boy in school with no valentines I had my eye on you. I was planning on proposing to you as I speak into my mind right now. It had to be perfect. The most perfect proposal ever.

Valentine’s day~

It was the day when I have come to my senses and propose to you. I had bought a $200 bouquet full of pink roses and a letter accompanied by it. it said :

Dear Y/N~

You held me close, you touched my skin, you brought more joy than you'll ever know. My soul was breach on a daily basis by your love. The sound of your voice made my heart swing on the stars. Your eyes were truly the window to my souls contentment, evolving every way possible. The life I had with you was golden and no man can ever take away the love I felt for you. Giving is a selfless act, one that doesn't happen often, but you made it a thing of beauty as well as a regularity. A sensuous smile to a passing glance, the mood was always perfect because you made me feel so happy. You made me laugh in a way that only babies can laugh and feel pure. Those were the happiest times of my life because of you.

I walked towards the corner you were at until I saw a boy in a grade above us named minho. I quickly hid behind the brick wall and peek while you and him conversed between each other. Then I saw him kiss you. My eyes widened at the sight of what was going to be mine, belonged to another man. So how. How did I end up here. Standing lifeless as tears filled to the brim of my eyes. Seeing you.. with him. I dropped the bouquet and letter and ran away from the school as fast as I could and to my luck it started to pour from the sky.

Thinking about what we could’ve been I walked for miles on the road wondering if you ever liked me the moment we met. My thoughts came to an end when I felt my body crash into what felt like an inevitable force. And all I saw was black.~

maybe part 2? ;)

- Mai 💋

[eliasiis]

can you do a scaraether fic? like one where aether makes him admit he likes being tickled

so this was................ sent after i said requests were closed. but the funny thing is ive just gotten fucking covid and lee scaramouche is all i need in life rn so i was like fuck it we ball. anyways this was.... an experience to write.like it was fun but generally also really like..... idk.............. maybe that was because i didnt really have motivation but here it is anyway

admit it

pairing : scaraether ( read it as romantic or platonic i do not care )

word count : 1.4k

Scaramouche can not catch a damn break around here.

Since that idiot traveler found out about his only existing weakness, he just won’t quit it with his stupid antics. It’s like he just has an irresistible urge to almost kill Scaramouche every time he sees him. 

And that makes purely existing quite hard, because he sees him every single day! There is no escape. There’s absolutely nothing he can do about this to make it stop.

( He could just stop seeing the traveler every day, but he refuses to even acknowledge that as a possibility. ) 

It’s unbearable, it’s absolutely awful, he’s never hated anything more and before this he hasn’t gotten the chance to be touched like this, so affectionately playful, in so long and he can’t bring himself to seriously tell Aether to stop. He really can’t stand being reduced to such a humiliating version of himself that by all means he wanted hidden, truly, he can’t.

And that’s what he’s desperately trying to communicate to Aether right now.

“Oh, shove it with your excuses, I know you like this.” Aether trails spidering hands up the sides of his unwilling victim. His grin looks like it might split his face in half and Scaramouche hates the fact that he’s enjoying his suffering.

His hands are gripping Aether’s as hard as he can, pushing and pulling and trying anything to get him to stop just for a second so he can breathe, but those tickling fingers are determined in  their quest to make Scara pass out.

“You- You don’t know anythihihing! GAH, STOP! Fuhuhuuck-!!” Scara twists and turns, bucking his hips and smacking and pushing at Aether’s shoulders. For one blissful moment, it stops.

Panting, Scara wraps his arms around his torso and tries to kick Aether off of his thighs with the remaining strength he has, but even at his full energy that’s nothing compared to Aether. Which is to say– He fails. Despite his continued struggling, Aether doesn’t move and just starts running his mouth again.

“Say it.” That grin of his almost looks sadistic. He wiggles his awful fingers above Scara’s stomach, where his shirt has long since rode up far past where it originally sat fully protecting his sensitive skin. Now, though, he trembles and grabs both Aether’s hands on instinct. The blonde gives him a stupidly charming grin, but it’s still terrifying, the way Aether doesn’t even attempt to move his hands out of Scara’s grip, like he knows Scara knows that Aether will stop when he feels like it.

And Scara does know that. He flushes deeper, and trembles more. “Piss off! I don’t like this. I don’t like you! In fact, it’d be absolutely wonderful if you could get off- Nononostop!!” Aether drops his hands back down to Scara’s stomach, kneading at the soft, ticklish skin there and Scara howls, squealing with high pitched laughter. Trying to fight Aether off hasn’t done him any good up to this point so he slaps his hands over his mouth, trying to stifle the embarrassing, delighted squeaking and cackling. “Mmmhmph-!! Nnnh..!” 

To be completely truthful, Scara does like this. In fact, he’s not sure if he’s ever adored a physical feeling more. Aether’s hands are warm and the way he laughs with Scara feels less as if he’s making fun of him and more like he’s just enjoying making Scara laugh and that knowledge gives him fluttery feelings that he refuses to think about. Even so, that flustered, giddy feeling is just as delightful as the rest. The only part of this he can say he hates is that Aether’s trying to make him admit it, and even then- That’s merely because the prospect of admitting something like that is embarrassing.

“I hate you, I hahahate you so muhuhuhuch! No, nononohoho!! Not, not that-! Aether!” Scara pushes at Aether’s shoulders and bucks as much as Aether’s position will allow him, but none of that stops the traveler from digging his fingers into his hips, massaging in circles. Sometimes slow, sometimes fast, or both with either hands. He keeps the pattern completely unpredictable and combined with what he knows is Scara’s worst spot, he’s really trying to completely murder him. At last, he’s going to get rid of Scara forever and it’s going to be by way of tickling.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m sure you do, and that’s why you’ve never stopped me once.” Aether’s sarcastic tone paired with his completely false and not at all correct accusations make Scara gasp with offense and not because he’s being mercilessly tickled within an inch of his life. “That’s also why you’re not admitting you like this, right? If I didn’t know better, I’d say you won’t do it so I’ll tickle you more!” Aether says, pressing all ten fingers into Scara’s hips and just above them, targeting both his sides and his hips while he evilly vibrates his fingers into the skin. The feeling makes Scara jolt and cry out with hiccuping, gasping laughter, squeezing his eyes shut and really pushing at Aether’s hands this time.

“Aether-! I cahahan’t, I, I, Ple-” Scara cuts his own pleading off, still too embarrassed to let go of his pride just like that. He won’t plead. …Not again, anyway.

“What, you can’t take a little tickling, Scara? Weren’t you all high-and-mighty just a second ago? I’m sure you can handle it, right?” The teasing only makes Scara’s desperate squirming increase, and he just starts babbling incoherent half-sentences, possibly along the lines of ‘I hate you,’ and multiple repetitions of him just yelling protests that aren’t really words.

Aether isn’t that sadistic, and moves his hands to lightly scritch in the middle of Scara’s stomach with a measly two fingers, giving him room to breathe while still tickling. He’s such a generous tormentor. 

Well, is it really tormenting if the victim likes it? Still giggling, Scara purses his lips into a tight line, muffling it just a bit. His grip on Aether’s hands goes slack and his purple eyes shine with unshed tears when he opens them to glare at Aether. “A-Ahahare you done?” He asks, gasping in between his words.

Aether, still moving his two fingers in tandem on Scara’s poor, twitching skin, doesn’t drop his smirk. “I’ll be done when you admit you like this.” His head tilts with an innocent smile present on his face all of a sudden, as if he’s not doing anything wrong at all. 

Scara doesn’t speak. For once, he just doesn’t have any sort of insult or comeback to spew at Aether for daring to do such a childish, stupid thing to him.

Aether’s evil smirk returns and he raises his hands again, only to lower them back down to idle at Scara’s sides. “Are you completely sure about this decision, Scara?” 

He’s still met with nothing but silence. 

Well, it’s not Aether’s funeral. He squeezes at Scara’s sides, laughing along with him when Scara jumps and squeals, those unshed tears starting to fall. Scara’s squealing, shrieking laughter goes silent and his squirming just increases tenfold, flailing and kicking and bucking- Anything to make it stop, but he still refuses to just say what they both already know is true.

( Aether was right before, of course. He wasn’t ready for it to stop, not yet. Now, though…)

Limits reached, Scara finally uses what he’d been acknowledging as a last resort and only that. “Okay! Okahahay, I’ll- Mmph! EEK-!! Stohohop, I’ll sahahay it!! P-Please!!” 

Lifting his hands, Aether climbs off of Scara and folds his hands on his lap, just the picture of innocent patience. 

Taking a second to breathe, Scara puts his hands to his face and mumbles something mostly incoherent. 

Aether’s smirk only widens, an evil shine in his eyes. “What was that?” 

“I said I like it, okay?! I like- I-I like when- Urrghh…” Scara rolls onto his side, scowling at the ground beneath him. It’s like the word itself is poisonous to him- Like he’ll just roll over and die if he says it.

“Come on, Scara, I believe in you!” 

“Oh, shut up! Just… Give me a second, okay?!” 

Aether waits patiently while Scara squirms and bites at his lip. “I, I like… Being…T-Tickled…”

Aether scoops Scara up into his arms, cooing and smiling at the boy now in his lap. “Awh, Scara! That was the cutest thing I’ve ever heard anyone say, ever! How can you be so precious, huh?” 

Completely flushed and embarrassed out of his mind, Scaramouche pushes at Aether’s face and kicks, trying to get out of his grasp. “Ugh! Let me go, you vile creature! Augh, Stop!”

…Though, he supposes the affection isn’t too bad either.

[muffinsin]

Hello muffin tis i, deluded anon with another ask. Tw for ablism i think? I am autistic and get called slurs and mocked for it by my family n friends, such as the r word n whatnot. If theres any issues that cause me stress like putting the cutlery away- they are too loud and hurt my head. Or if my clothes and everything touching me burns n pricks me, being mute on occasions i get told to get a grip n to shut up- then told off later if i was in public. They treat other autistic people differently from me n reassure them that its ok n valid but its not ok for me to be like that. Anyways i dont really do people and am attached to my teddies n plushies- they have feelings. I always take the most care with them n i dont want them to be uncomfortable, they all call me delusional and a not right for loving my plushies (and fictional women)more than them.

So what would happen if the reader were to be autistic and a maid in the castle struggling with some certain tasks and the rest of the maids treating the reader like how ive been treated (if that makes sense. Idk if i’m making sense) so readers kind of like the laughing stock for them, unbeknownst to the sisters until some maid rips a teddy or comfort item.

How would the sisters react to this? I dont think theyd like it nor tolerate it due to cassandra being autistic and daniela having adhd.

I’m sorry this is such a long ask and quite frankly too much of a self centred one. I have no idea if this makes sense- i apologies sincerely if this makes you uncomfortable in any way. Please dont feel pressured to write this.

I can 100% see the rendition of lion king being played out with dani 😂 she would without a doubt try n blag her mother into making her sister make up for being mean to her, like forfeiting a maid to her.



Of course! I’m very curious about this ask tbh and hope I’ll do it justice :)

A few things first up under the cut, if anybody wants to skip to the start of the HCs, it’ll be marked for you😊

TW: ableism, bullying

Let’s get into this! :)

Masterlists

Tbh I’m hoping I’ll be able to get this right! I’m not autistic myself and am only going off what I’ve read here and experiences I’ve been told about by friends.

First thing I want to say hon, is that you are absolutely, 100% valid.

Nobody- and this includes you- deserves to be called slurs or treated wrongly for such reasons. There is no justification to it at all. To treat you differently while claiming to be accepting with others is awful, and I sincerely hope you will find people decent and good enough to accept you, friends especially :)

Also- plushie superiority honestly XP What are their names?👀 Have you got a fav? Or is it an I-love-them-all-equally- situation? Honestly, regarding what you’ve said about plushie love not being okay? I call bs on it. I find plushie love is one of the sweetest there is, even when I don’t have that many myself, I greatly treasure the few plushies I still have. Heck yeah XD

Is the autism and ADHD for Cassandra and Daniela canon? Or a HC?👀 I’ve never heard of it

(Lion king drabble mentioned: here)

Aight that’s it from me! This all probably made little sense, because ironically I cannot comfort at all, I suck at it in most cases, but I hope I still got the key points across somehow XD

Let’s get into it!

(Beginning of the ask)

Bela

She adores you, with all her heart

Bela loves you so much, each part of you

She tries her best to make life as comfortable as possible for you

Even if she can’t always relate to your struggles, she always attempts to ease them

The moment you open up about some of the things troubling you, Bela takes action

She takes special care to ensure the new uniforms are made of fabrics you approve and feel comfortable in, and orders them as soon as possible

Until their arrival, Bela has taken it upon herself to declare to everyone that you are not obliged to wear the old ones

Nobody dares to call you out for working in a shirt instead of the uniform, the order comes from Bela, after all, one of the highest of your superiors, right after Alcina

When the new uniforms are delivered, you can’t help but smile. They’re perfect!

Bela has the old ones disposed of, thrown someplace she can’t be bothered to know

Next, there are the tasks appointed to you

While she normally doesn’t get involved all that much in the staff’s business and shares a mutual respect with the grand chambermaid, she does interfere here

She requests that you are not given tasks in the kitchen as to not get overwhelmed by the loud noises

Nor does she wish for you to work anywhere near the basements

Of course, your lover would never allow you anywhere in the basements, even outside of work, even when she is lurking down there

It’s for safety purposes, most of all

Instead, you are usually appointed calmer places, such as the library or even the castle gardens or greenhouse at times

Bela is flustered whenever you remember to bring her a flower from the outside in winter

Aside from all these things, Bela is your shoulder to cry on, and your pillar to lean on

She never fails to reassure you how much she loves you, and how things you consider as flaws are endearing to her

She knows, sometimes you tend to be quiet, if not entirely mute

After a quick check in whether you’re all right, and you reassure her, she smiles widely

Bela treasures such silence, really

She enjoys to spend time with you, and sometimes silence is just what she needs

After all, the castle can be loud already, especially to her

Wrestling her screaming, kicking and bickering younger sisters all day and night often gives her a migraine

She loves simply cuddling in bed or sitting together, reading together or simply relaxing

Bela doesn’t mind your quietness, and she can easily either make conversation by monologing, or bask in it, even go as far as to close her eyes

She finds these moments precious

She knows nearly everything about you- all except one thing

Life among the staff

Bela doesn’t know of the torment you face, not quite

She doesn’t notice your anxiety when they make fun of you, doesn’t know about how uncomfortable you become when they poke you for fun

She doesn’t know an old uniform has been retrieved from the storage and switched with yours specifically merely to amuse the other staff members

You grit your teeth at the wrong fabric on you, the uncomfortable one that feels entirely too heavy and scratchy

No matter how much you search for the new uniform, it’s hidden far away beyond your grasp

Only when all your duties are done can your change out of it and back into your normal clothing, just in time for Bela to finish work and greet you with a warm smile

You don’t dare tell her, too worried what the other maids will do

After all, Bela can’t dispose of them all

Then there’s the noises…

How often you are brought to the edge of feeling overstimulated and overwhelmed when maids laugh and mock you, forks and knives in their hands as they slap them together

Like sticks hitting a drum, maybe

You are not oblivious to their laughter as you bury your head in your brown teddy bear and fluffy, blue arm sized blanket

Soon, you are indirectly appointed to the kitchens

Not by the grand chambermaid, nor by Bela

You feel uncomfortable at the hands grabbing you by the arms and leading you there

Their reasoning? If you don’t clean up, maidens will be hurt, and it will be your fault

Aside from this, with more hurt maidens and their panic increasing, so will the stress your girlfriend will have to face over trying to manage the castle

They know of your love for Bela, and often use it to have you do things you dislike

Such as picking up all the silverware from the wet sink, drying it in a towel of a texture you dislike, and putting them in the drawers

Their laughter and mockery rings out behind you while you’re made to finish their work

Still, as torturous as all of this is, their newest stunt is incomparable to it

As you find yourself hugging your stuffed bear yet again and cry into its fur at the loud laughter around you, you suddenly feel it tugged from you

Naturally, you try to hold on

Slurs are thrown at you. Mockery

You hear a particular loud cry, a maid calling you a baby, just before you’re suddenly sent back on the bed

You’re holding your teddy- as is the maid tugging it

Tears well up in your eyes as you hold its body, your eyes scanning the unattached leg now dropped to the floor

You feel someone snap their fingers right next to your ear and jump

More laughter

The women around you laugh and mock as you sink to the floor, your teddy and blanket held tight to you as you attempt to grasp the leg

It’s kicked in the corner of the room, and more laughter rings out when you crawl after it quickly

More harsh name calling, until eventually you grasp it

Unsurprisingly, you can’t just push it back on

You aren’t sure how much time passes until your girlfriend finds you

You aren’t even sure when you wandered off to Bela’s room. It’s as if your feet just automatically carried you to your safe place

She immediately swarms to you, her hands hovering by your arms

With a nod of your head, reassuring her it’s okay, she touches you

She immediately feels the change of fabric of your uniform. She knows, this isn’t the right one

Still, golden eyes set on the damaged teddy bear in your hands

Again, she waits for your permission before she pulls you on her lap, knowing you’re so distraught now

She grasps your hands and dries your tears, and gently holds the leg one one hand, the remaining teddy in her other

“He’s broken”, you sob, and Bela is quick to assure you

“Damaged, my dove, not broken”

She promises, she can fix your friend

And true to her word, she does

Urging you to change, she allows you to search her closet for anything that suits you

You watch with wide, hopeful eyes as she takes a sewing kid from one of her many shelves

Thankfully, your beautiful girlfriend enjoys branching out and learning so many new skills…

You watch with wonder as she adds stuffing back into the leg, and even allows you to pick a color to stitch it back together in

Dressed comfortably in her larger clothing and holding onto her pillows and your blue blanket, you watch as slowly, but surely, your friend’s leg is reattached

“He’s on bed rest now, you know”, she teases, hoping to bring a smile to your face

Bela portrays this picture of calmness for you, but rest assured, the moment she knows you’re completely calm and happy again, she will personally see to it that such actions are punished

She demands to know what has been going on with the staff, and offers you your own room, should you not want to move into hers

Bela smiles in self satisfaction as she hand picks the new recruits for cadou experiments, hunts, and, of course, Cassandra’s birthday presents ;)

Cassandra

She cares a lot about you, and is incredibly protective of you

Cassandra tries her best to make you comfortable

She knows, her fast, often dangerous and hectic movements can intimidate or scare away most. She doesn’t want that to happen with you

While Cassandra isn’t the best at listening, she takes in all you say whenever you are made uncomfortable by something

Such as the clanging of her weapons when she carelessly drops them all on a big pile

Her heart breaks a little when you cover your ears at the loud noise caused by metal hitting metal

Was she a dog, her ears would droop down

Instead, she immediately apologizes and tries to still the rocking blades

She makes sure not to clank them against one another again, instead is careful to place them down one by one

She grins widely whenever this earns her a kiss and a smile of yours

Her efforts are certainly not dismissed and ignored!

Then, there’s of course your like and dislike towards certain sensations

She can’t help but giggle when you fall into her bed the first time you touch it

She has all the perfect fabrics!

Cassandra is very picky as it comes to them, too

Her dress is tight, but soft

It doesn’t scratch along her skin and isn’t too soft to make her feel droopy. It’s just perfect to her

Her bed equals this

Soft, satin sheets she likes, and a few large pillows. Not too much, just enough for her to sleep comfortably

You love wearing her clothing. It’s perfect and doesn’t irritate your skin

In return, Cassandra doesn’t mind lending it to you, even if you don’t quite fit into it

All her clothing is custom made, such as Alcina’s dresses and the typical black dresses all three sisters like to wear

The crafter? None other than the famous other Lady of the village

Cassandra makes it a point to ask Donna for clothing made in your size. In return, she is ready to send across a few of the castle’s finest cooking ingredients

It’s working out well, and often she likes to surprise you with a new clothing item of your choice, made of a fabric of your choice

Cassandra doesn’t care for fabrics, merely the feel of them

She allows you to take charge whenever it comes to picking the right ones out

In the beginning, you worry Cassandra will mind your occasional silence

You’re all too happy to notice: she doesn’t

Cassandra talks often, but isn’t quite one for conversation

She likes monologuing, knowing you’re listening to her as she rants about her hunts and her sisters

She doesn’t take your silence as disrespect, though at times randomly reminds herself to check in whether you’d like her to keep talking or stay silent as well for some peace and quiet

She likes to bask in such silence sometimes, to have her head on your lap and play with a few of her flies while you stroke her soft hair

Another thing she’s surprised you by is regarding your stuffed animals

While she hasn’t quite got the connection to them you have, she respects it

Though, she will not allow all of them in her bed. She wants that space all to herself

Still, she is mindful to keep a corner of the bed empty for your stuffed animals, and only growls playfully when you shower them in love, subtly reminding you to place a kiss to her forehead, too

She can’t help but be a little clingy sometimes, after all

Cassandra doesn’t fault you for preferring plushies to humans. She isn’t exactly a fan of them either and rather sees them as nuisances or means to an end, after all

All except you. You’re her precious little human

And Cassandra wants to keep you safe at all times

Yet, there are things even she cannot seem to keep you safe from

Such as the staff members

You know, Cassandra doesn’t get involved with the maiden’s affairs unless to drag one to the basement

She is therefore unaware of the pokes and laughter that follow you sometimes

The slurs whispered your way… you know Cassandra would have their heads for it, yet you can’t seem to bring yourself to tell her

And they know it all too well

Your heart hurts when they talk to you, and in time, you know the only reason for this are dares

Dares, from one maid to another, to talk to you

Entertainment, as they chat and mock you subtly, trying to see how long it takes you to notice

You try to brush it off. To not let it bother you

Cassandra surely wouldn’t let it bother her! She seems so powerful…

Their words regarding this sting. How she could be with someone like you

When you’re allowing them to walk all over you

Some freak, as they say

Their words haunt you hours later even, when your shifts end and you’re cuddled up against Cassandra as she monologues about this and that while showing you her newest dagger

Then, there’s the little stuffed turtle you like to keep in your pocket

It helps you stay calm sometimes, even with the uniform being scratchy and uncomfortable

Often they laugh as they snatch your turtle from you, instead throw her through the air, right above your outstretched hands as you attempt to catch your precious friend

All other stuffed animals are kept safe in Cassandra’s room. All but this one

No one would dare venture into her territory merely to taunt you

No maid is this foolish

You gasp when the turtle is thrown yet again, high in the air in the main hall, right above your hands even as you jump to reach it

Your eyes widen when your precious stuffed animal lands right in the fireplace

Thankfully, not a lit one. It’s summer, thankfully, and the castle is warm enough as it is

But it’s hot, and dirty, and smears black dust and ashes all over the green fur

“Freak”, they taunt as they pass you, crying and attempting to wipe the dirt off

Cassandra finds you easily, having heard your fast heartbeat indicating your panic attack even from the basement

You can merely look up at her as she kneels down, her gloves easily pulled down by her teeth as she holds the little turtle

She’s very careful no blood is smeared on it or you, and opts for staying a little distant upon realising she’s covered in it nearly from head to toe

You don’t seem to mind, you can only look at the turtle, impossibly small in Cassandra’s large hands as strong fingers rub over the dirt gently

A stain remains, and you smile watery. A battle wound, maybe?

The thought comforts you only slightly

You suppose, a scar, a battle wound, wouldn’t be the worst thing…Cassandra has them, after all, scars littering her backside from challenging fights

She won, in the end

Upon demanding what happened, and hearing your tale, Cassandra sees red

She wipes the back of her hand against her lips to clean her bloodied lips, then presses a small kiss to your forehead before she swarms off

In the days to come, plenty examples are maid

Maidens are set free only to be dragged back screaming and badly hurt, begging for forgiveness as they are killed in front of the others

Others are immediately dragged to the basement

And the remaining two that have started it all, are devoured alive in front of the rest of the staff, Cassandra’s warning screamed from their lips

Never, never, will she allow someone to mistreat you again

She keeps a close eye on you, and often opts for having a few flies buzzing around you when you aren’t with her

Daniela

Daniela is a hyper little thing, full of energy and love that she wants to shower you in

She’s very clingy with you, but also incredibly perceptive

More so than her other two sisters, even

She picks up on your slight grimace when it’s dinner time and the rattling of silverware irritates your ears

Without having to tell her, Daniela is more delicate in her movements with her fork and knife- she was the main source of this noise after all, smacking them together because she is generally too energetic to sit still

Instead, she merely swarms around excitedly and annoys her sisters until the food is served

She also notices- you don’t like every clothing item she has to offer

Some just- don’t take your pick, and at first she is a little hurt

She doesn’t understand why, and worries you might think she has horrible taste

Or perhaps don’t want to wear a gift of hers altogether

Daniela tends to overthink fast, and quickly becomes a little hesitant to shower you in gifts when you don’t seem too happy with the two dresses she’s brought you

While she is all for comfort, Daniela doesn’t mind scratchiness of her gowns

Being put in so many of them for balls and events hosted by Alcina, she has learned to ignore the urge to scratch and the annoying itch caused by scratchy sleeves

Overall, she still loves gowns, and isn’t bothered by differences in textures

When you explain to her that you feel differently about this, it’s a little difficult for her to understand

However, Daniela cares about you, and if you tell her this fabric is bad fabric, she’ll tear it to pieces for you, as though you’re her fair maiden and she is the knight protecting you from the fierce dragon!

She often makes slashing noises as she does though, a little too invested in her fantasies

You don’t mind

You think her creativity and fantasy endearing, even

Daniela is curious, though. Often she will randomly swarm to you to ask whether something is good or bad, just out of curiosity, and maybe because she’s turned it into a game

She wants to see if she is getting better at telling what is good and what isn’t, so her surprises and gifts for you are ones you can actually enjoy

She brings you fabrics of gowns and shirts, food and drinks, and even once a very grumpy Bela to question whether her sister feels bad too

She claims she does, with a large, shit eating grin on her face, and you smile as her laughter is heard through the halls when she is chased down for such behaviour, likely made to sit and listen to another lecture of the blonde should she be caught

You find, you look forward to hearing Daniela complain about it

While Daniela can be very loud and hyper at times, and often enough you join in, she doesn’t mind times you’re quiet either

She had no trouble at all leading a conversation, either monologuing or talking for so long and so fast, there’s no way for anybody else to join in anyway

Often, when she notices you’re in a quieter mood, she’ll take control of the conversation until the other person leaves

In return, she only expects a smile, and a kiss to her face

Yet, as much as Daniela dotes on you and coddles you, there are others who are not as sweet

Others, who do not make you feel as welcome

Others, who dare make you feel as though you aren’t normal. Not “right”

The maidens at Castle Dimitrescu can be ruthless, sometimes, especially to outsiders

Being Daniela’s partner has made you an outsider

And having autism has made you their target

They thread carefully at first, knowing you are not only under Daniela’s protection, but by this also under Bela and Cassandra’s

Should they hurt you, it hurts Daniela, after all. Alas, you have three murderous fly women on your side

However…what they don’t know…

It starts off with a group of four who take, seemingly, immense pleasure in taunting you

Their hatred comes from being small minded, and jealous, yet knowing this does nothing to help you

They don’t understand- how come you get to wear a different uniform than them?!

How come you never have to clean up the table and wash the dishes and silverware?

How come you get to work in quiet, reserved locations and get to take so many breaks, while they are to work near the entrance to the dungeons, the screams of their fellow fallen maids taunting them

How come they fear for their life, and you never need to?

You are a target by far too soon

You often find yourself crying and hiding at your bed as they laugh and bicker about, silently wishing Daniela opts for a random visit and slays them all

She doesn’t, and won’t. She isn’t allowed into the maid quarters

Their shrill laughter and loud voices hurt your ears, and as you find yourself clutching one of the stuffed animals not tucked away in Daniela’s room- a grey, knit bear- they laugh even more

Soon, you are titled as a baby and inhuman for your affection towards the stuffed animal

You feel fear shoot through you whenever you don’t find him sitting at your pillow

Often, they wave the teddy in front of you, snickering and commanding this and that

They’re playing God, and for moments you feel as though they are the predators of this castle

With the wish to receive your stuffed animal again, you clean their beds and bring their plates, silverware and cups to the kitchens after supper

Usually, you receive your bear again

Not yet this time, it seems

“Go and get it, if you dare” they snicker as they throw it down the stairs to the basement

You gulp. You know, you aren’t supposed to go down there

No maid is, but especially you

Even Daniela has forbidden you from stepping in the cellars

You shudder at the memory of her truthful description upon being asked what lies down there. Monsters with swords and sickles, mold and blood, pain and the reek of the dead, corpses and torture chambers

But…your bear

You venture down as they snicker, and jump when the door clasps shut behind you

As tears sprint to your eyes, you hear a lock. No going back now, either way

You gulp at the loud whimpers and cries, and the distant screams and groans of the undead

It’s dark, and you can barely make a thing out

You jump when you hear a loud gasp from one of the cells and a hand reaches through the bars, as though to reach you

Immediately, you keep on running

More hands shoot out, some grazing your arm and dirtying your uniform, others mere inches away from your skin

You nearly trip a few times, the floor stony and littered with buckets, thrown over tables and chairs, dull knives and what not

It’s so dark, so that you can barely make out your own hands and the ones reaching for you

You shriek as a body bag drops in front of you, immediately taking off to run another direction

Again, you scream, when you run into something

A monster?! It’s so dark you-

“Uh-“

You blink at Cassandra’s voice, and upon opening your eyes, you find golden ones staring down at you

She seems almost unsure. You aren’t supposed to be in the basements, and were you anybody else, she would have already dug her sickle into you and called you a foolish prey for running right to her

But…you’re Daniela’s

You jump at a second gasp, and whine when another pair of golden eyes sets on you

Thankfully, these do not belong to Bela Dimitrescu. You recognize the light green colour shining through gold in them

Daniela!

She gasps when you run into her, quickly adjusting her hand so you don’t run right into the scalpel you can’t see in the dark

Immediately, her shock is covered by concern when she smells the fear surrounding you

She demands to know what you’re doing her, even if she feels flustered upon thinking you might have missed her and wanted to see her bad enough to venture into the cellars

Upon opening up about the bear, you feel her grasp your hand tightly

She promises, she’s going to find it with you

You nod shakily as Cassandra grins, having just received a reason to go upstairs and cause some more trouble along the maidens

With a lit torch held tightly in Daniela’s hand, it’s by far easier to navigate the dim basement

You realise the hands reaching out were maids, now backed far in the corner of their cells to avoid Daniela’s gaze

But the redhead doesn’t mind them. She is focused on finding your bear

And find him she does, after a while of searching

You nearly whimper when she holds it up between two fingers, the fabric soaked in blood and dirt and a rat having already started to eat away at its side

She hugs you tightly as she explains, it must be disposed of

It’s a major health risk by now, having been exposed to the mold of the basement and who knows what else

You spend the next couple of days entirely in her bed, cuddled up under the covers and crying your heart out between your other stuffed animals

At last, Daniela enters, a nervous smile on her face

You notice her hand behind her back, and lift your head curiously

“So, I know it’s not the same, but I told Bela what happened and asked her to fix it…”, she trails off

You can’t help but smile and cry as she pulls her hand to the front, a bear, knit nearly perfectly and in the exact same colour as yours, sitting in her palm

“She’s actually really good at this stuff. I made her make me an octopus. I named her Sally”

[flimflamfandom]

Washboard Blues, and other Vignettes

Vignettes (I guess they call them Imagines these days?) I wrote in the Lackadaisy Discord, plus one that’s original on here.

There are 4 on offer: -You’ll Thank Me When You Grow Old (Discord) -If Only She Knew (Discord) -Washboard Blues (Discord) -You’re Gonna Look Fine (new for this post)

I also allude to an original character from @ladybugkisses ! I don’t really include her, it’s mostly about Rocky, but she’s there so I’m tagging it and mentioning Ari. Give her a follow if you haven’t already!

You’ll Thank Me When You Grow Old

Rows of sunlight snuck through the blinds in the dorm. It was cold - drafty, and wet outside, with typical dorm room quality insulation (that is to say - bad insulation) made for a rather frigid experience. 

Still, Helen was wrapped up in the covers, Olivia was in a thick bath robe - And Ivy was nowhere to be seen. That is, until the door crept open, revealing a rather bleary eyed Ivy, still in clothes from the night before - party clothes, with a hastily thrown on tweed jacket. 

Olivia peered up from her glasses while reading, like a disappointed mother. "You're home early." She said, a snide lilt in her voice. 

"I...stayed at a friend's place." 

"Sure you did." Olivia stood. "And I bet you sat there and played dominos all night, too?" Olivia walked over to her bed, and got a few things from the shelf nearby. 

"Olivia, what does it matter if-" 

"It matters that you're out so late! I was worried sick!" 

"Freckle is nothing to worry about, he's a good man!" "He works at that no good, low down Daisy-whatever. I bet he'll die in some awful shoot out anyhow." 

"Olivia!" Ivy gasped, as she removed the jacket, and her evening sleeves, "How dare you say something like that!" 

"It's true! What's next? He gets you tied up in it?" 

"...well..." 

"...IVY. MICHELLE. PEPPER." Olivia seemed mortified. "You're NOT gonna keep doing that! You'll get killed!" 

"What does it matter to you!?" 

"We're your FRIENDS, Ivy! Don't we mean ANYthing to you?" Olivia fought on a sweater, and got her shoes on. "...I'm going to class. I don't want to hear about...mobsters or whatever." Olivia put her hands on Ivy's shoulders. 

"You'll thank me when you grow old." 

Olivia walked out the door. Ivy stood there. She sniffled. Helen rubbed sleep from her eyes. 

"...oh, morning Ivy," She yawned, "Did you...see Oli? She wanted to talk to you." 

"...how did you sleep through that?" 

"Sleep through what?" 

"Nevermind.”

-

If Only She Knew

Calvin sat there as the record player warbled. Something about a washboard. He sat, nervously, in Mitzi May's office. Ivy was there, too. The two seemed to be in fairly hot water. Calvin and Ivy'd been caught by Mitzi in the broom closet as it were. Ivy, still in her green dress, looked up at Freckle. 

"Think you'll have to stop working for the Daisy?" 

"Maybe." 

"Well. Always the Marigold." She said. 

"Not in my life." He said. "If I'm forced into retirement I'm going-" 

The door opened. Ivy gripped Clavin's hand. Mitzi stormed in. "I must admit, I'm awfully cross you two chose to do this on the clock." 

"Mitzi, with all due respect, Calvin's hands were hardly near my-" 

"It's not about that!" Mitzi said. "I do NOT want to hear the details! What's important is that you should NOT be doing that at work!" 

"I'm NOT on the job!" Ivy remarked. "It's my night off!" 

"Calvin is very much on the job." Mitzi replied. 

Calvin looked down. "...I, eh...I was...staking someone out." 

"...why didn't you say something!" 

"I tried, but you kept kissing me before I could say words!" 

"I do have a nasty habit of that." Ivy said. 

"I like that nasty habit." Freckle went a bit red, and drooped his ears. 

"Aww, Calvi-" 

"Excuse me." Mitzi said, sternly. "...I'm not gonna make you two stop seein' each other, that'd be too much. But Ivy, you ask me if Calvin's workin' next time." 

"...fine." 

"And you, Mr. McMurray." Mitzi said. "What are your intentions for my daughter?" 

"...beg...pardon?"

 "Your intentions." 

"...for your daughter?" 

"No, I haven't got a daughter." 

Ivy blinked. "...you said daughter." 

Mitzi's ears stood up. "...I said Ivy." 

"You called me your daughter!" Ivy gasped. "Does that mean-" She smiled brightly, "You love me like a mom!?" 

"Ivy, please, I-"

 "Does THAT mean I'm Ivy may? I like that! I like Ivy Mcmurray more, though~" She cooed. 

"Ivy, I-" 

"You two GET OUT!" Mitzi nearly chased them out with a stick. She sighed. 

"...that girl..." 

If only she knew.

-

Washboard Blues

Glitz. Glamor. Fame. Fortune. All these things came with running the newly successful Daisy. The dresses, the drinks, the fine friends, the gorgeous parties. 

And Mitzi was stuck washing clothes, before such a party, because Wick was 'indisposed'. 

"...You've got 3 maids and a secretary." She grumbled as she scrubbed. "And none of 'em could come to help with things?" She hung something else out. She huffed, and let out a sigh. "I ain't some dainty little housewife, Wick," she spoke, to no one in particular, "if you're not even gonna marry me why make me wash the clothes?" She sighed. "Atlas never made me do that." She grumbled. "I bet ZIB wouldn't! She yelped. "I bet he'd LOVE to wash the clothes from time to time! Closest he gets to a goddamn bath." She sighed. 

"...no, no." She shook her head. "Wick's...injured." She rolled her eyes. "Here I go again, cursing the sick and needy." She got back to scrubbing. She hummed to herself, and sang. 

"Mornin' comes with cloudy skies and rain...my poor back am broke with pain....My man's sleepin', I just scrubbin', chillin', weepin', I do rubbin' age a-creepin', clothes a-tubbin', all day long..." 

She sighed, alone in the back yard, stretching her back and grunting. Her joints cracked. And then... 

"...You know, Zib," She looked over to him, "You really don't have to play that on sax." She said. 

"How am I not gonna play Hoagy Carmichael?" He walked over, and put his instrument down, carefully. 

"What're you even doing here?" 

"Band's entertaining here tonight...I see you've got a bit of the washboard blues, huh?" 

"He's got a bad back, his maids are all sick, and Lacy is already on cooking duty..." She shook her head. 

"Just bad luck on his part." 

"Hmm." Zib shrugged. "You're right, you know." 

"Hm?" 

Zib cupped her chin. "I wouldn't make you wash nothin'." 

"...su...stop." She batted at him, playfully. She smirked. "You're too much." 

"If you say so."

-

You’re Gonna Look Fine

“...Rocky?”

“Hmm?”

“You’ve been looking in the mirror for something like 30 minutes.” Mitzi said, crossing her arms. “What’s got into you? You got a court date or somethin’?”

“Not a court date,” Rocky said, “A REAL date!”

“With who?”

“Ari!” “...it doesn’t ring a bell.”

“You wouldn’t know her, anyhow.” Rocky said, dismissively. “She’s beautiful! She’s got this fiery red fur, and white tailtip, like a...fox or something! How wonderful she is, how delightful, how-”

“Rocky,” Mitzi shook her head, “I understand you got a date goin’ but frankly there’s an awful lot of work to do and I don’t want you mussin’ that suit beforehand. I-...where are you even goin’ at this time’a day that requires that sorta dress?”

“Why, only the finest establishment in town!”

“...”

“HERE!” Rocky said. “For pancakes.” He suavely straightened his tie.

“...for pancakes?”

“She never had ‘em.”

“Rocky-” Mitzi pinched the bridge of her nose. “I do hope she likes you, because I can’t imagine a lotta other women doing so.”

“Do I look okay?”

“You’re gonna look fine.” Mitzi said. “Maybe a little over dressed for a breakfast...you look like you’re on your way to your wedding!”

Rocky sighed dreamily. “I suuuuure aaaaam...”

Mitzi chuckled a bit, and batted his arm. “You really are perplexing.”

“Is that her in the window?”

Standing there was a girl, with...fiery red fur, and a white tailtip. She looked reluctant to enter. Mitzi looked over. “Well, Rocky, you know how to pick ‘em, I’ll give y’that.”

“What if she thinks WE’RE talking though?”

“...despite my better efforts I look like I could be your mother, Rocky. Go ahead, open the door for her!”

“Alright...wish me luck, Miss May, ol’ boss ol’ pal o’mine!”

“Mhm.” Mitzi walked up to the office, and sat in her desk.

“...if THIS doesn’t work out for him, nothin’ will.”

[gingkos-eldritch-secret]

Fanfiction commentary and recommendations: Lex Luthor´s ascend from supervillainy to fatherhood Part IV (chapters 16 to 20)

The Original story can be found here.

The previous parts of the commentaries can be found here:

Part I

Part II

Part III

Part V

Part VI

Part VII

So, the classic silly rambling before the actual commentary part is surprisingly part that´s the hardest to do. Go figure.

Well. At least aside from formatting. I may have found out how to make links into hyperlinks, but I still have a problem with getting the HTML code to do what I want and just center the line break. And I´d also love to do blocktext, so that there are the most even edges of text possible on both sides, but I know the second one just WON´T work because different devices and different formattings so it would just look awful. I could still center. But my brain hates HTML code rn. Why is HTML so much easier on AO3?

But to build anticipation: I know that the next few chapters will be kind of wild. Or. not really 'kind of' but actually a bit wild. As in: The Joker´s involved. I mean, with all of the foreshadowing in the past few chapters I was really not surprised, but damn, do I hate the man.

With the knowledge of not being with that knowledge: back to the regularly scheduled program.

○○○••○○•••○○••○○○

So? Which topic do you think chapter 16 starts with? Ding ding ding! You´re right! Lazarus Pits! Or rather: the price some people have to pay for the boon. In Jason´s case? His sanity.

And also the helpless feeling of just. Not knowing. Not knowing why or how he was the only one that suffered such harsh side effects when the rest of the family got away more or less scot-free.

I … can´t imagine how hard it must be to know all the darkness that dwells in oneself can just … erupt like some kind of volcano. Even worse if you wake up after such an eruption and just. Don´t remember. It´s frightening. And that Jason has endured that for years now? Oooof. He needs more hugs from his friends and family ASAP. Especially because he seems to feel like such a burden …

But how did we get to such deep introspection from him? Because he finally feels as if he´s getting back from the pits. You remember what I said about Jason feeling a lurch in his chest?

Yeah. It´s still happening, again and again and it´s kind of crawling up his throat.

And as I can´t imagine that feeling all too pleasant - he just kind of. Slowly falls onto the floor. Or. He would have, if Dick hadn´t caught him, good older brother that he is.

It doesn´t help that Danny collapses as well.

And then he throws up something green and goopy and it starts to move towards Danny and ugh. It sounds so digusting and horrifying I kinda had to take a moment to get a drink because god damn, that was not a comfortable experience to read about and any time I reread this for corrections I feel this imagine return to my mind.

Thank god for Alfred saving the day, because as the only one with his faculties intact he just puts a bowl over this … thing. And it helps! Whoooooo!

But now we have an exhausted Jason, a collapsed Danny and a very worried family. And not just any worried family, but a worried batfamily. Good god that can´t end well, can it?

Because of course, after the discussion about his health problems the family gets even more worried when his heartbeat slows further. And since he´s not awake, he can´t even veto going to a hospital. Thank god for Duke though, because he got them to go to Dr Thom(p?)kins instead.

And of course they´re suspicious now. Probably more of Lex than Danny, but still.

Tim, bless his soul, wants to tell Lex what just happened because any parent should know what happened to their child. Especially since there could be allergies or traumata involved.

But no, bruce just wants to get him to a clinic. It will come back to bite him in the ass - that I can promise.

And where does it come back to bite him in the ass? Right at the clinic. Jason may be fine, but Danny? In the eyes of the doc? Fuck no, he´s not. I mean, he never is, but they don´t know that, do they?

And because of all the radioactivity and the health problems and because he´s a sus mf - what does Bruce do? He wants a blood sample.

Now. We know how Danny is about his blood. It´s a dangerous thing. Thank god for Leslie and her ethics though. Because I don´t think neither Danny nor Lex would forgive him for that breach of trust and bodily autonomy.

Bruce and Damian are both deeply suspicious because the matter seems quite close to Lazarus pits and fear that Lex may be experimenting on him … and also Damian kinda lowkey hates Danny because he has hurt his family twice already, however unintentional and who says he won´t hurt even more of them?

And after that whole ordeal? Danny just decided to take his legs into his hands and get the hell out of dodge.

Can´t blame him tbh. Really, really can´t blame him.

So where does the baby boi end up? At a random roof in Gotham where Harley finds him. Predictably she thinks he maybe wants to jump though our Boy quickly reassures her that that´s not the case.

Doesn´t change the fact that he´s still spooked though. Mainly because he thinks he did something wrong and now the Waynes won´t want him as a friend anymore, because why would they? He hurt them and then they even had to get him to a clinic and Harley, please do something about this, it´s just sad to read :')

And now Danny doesn´t even wanna call Lex, because of the situation because he fear he´ll never be allowed to go anywhere again because he was 'right' and just. Danny I understand your fear, but comunication please.

Of course he deflects by asking if the Joker was around, which somehow leads to Harley taking him to her and Ivy´s place? Don´t ask me how it happened, the only I way I can condense it is if I say: they ranted.

This leads to this part of the conversation:

“Really? Then why did… you know,” he said, looking her up and down. “I know it couldn’t have been just the Joker that made you this way. He’s your… origin story, not your love interest.”

And I think that just endeared danny to her forever.

So while Danny cuddles with Bud and Lou on the Couch, the bats are freaking out because they lost Danny. And what do the bats do best when they panic? Suit up and spread out. 

Lex is finally being called. Suffice to say the conversation does not go well. At all. And Lex is now on the way. Because of course he is. Especially after Bruce basically insulted him by insinuating he´s a bad parent. Way to put your foot in your mouth, Bruce.

And what else does happen on this lovely day? The Joker gets out, because of course he does. Why not make bad things even worse? That´s what this man does best after all.

Meanwhile Ivy is exasperated at Harley´s antics, seeing as she wants to steal Danny from Lex and yeah. Just a typical start to girl´s night i guess? Catwoman will have fun with this situation, i can already tell xD

Now if only I knew what Damian would want those bolt cutters for?

Selina arrives! And instantly thinks Danny was kidnapped as well.

That topic quickly shifts though. And what does it shift into? Bruce´s batdoption problems. It´s just such a good meme and I´m not even mad about it.

It also seems a put a few things into perspective for Danny since she tells him that some people don´t think Lex to be a good parent. For very good reasons to be honest, but I guess it still stings a bit ...

In the end girl night starts with them just trash talking Bruce and his furry tendencies. As well as his hypocrisy when we consider his dating history. How a man with such a moral compass can deal with dating people such as Talia or Catwoman I will never understand. I know, I know. Sexual Tension. But Sexual Tension does not cause you to conceive a child together (that´s just trash as well. I gotta be solidary xD)

So in the typical girl night fashion, they talk about feelings and who may have a crush on whom and how oblivious some people (*cough* Danny *cough*) are and there´s many an adive to be had. They´re just gal pals having fun :D

Meanwhile Lex is annoyed at the Gotham airspace seeing as he can´t get into the city without changing vehilces because a certain clown blew up some buildings.

Meanwhile girl night changed into poker night and well. I don´t think any of them play fair xD

The conversation that follow are easily put under the "What happens on girls’ night, stays on girls' night" category as Ivy suitably calls it.

The bats and birds still haven´t stopped searching. Joker´s still a crazy piece of work and Danny? Danny is just losing at Uno and living his best live.

[monsterblogging]

So I rewatched Pacific Rim: The Black to refresh myself on how bad it was, and once again I am just kind of in awe at how god-awful it is.

The Black very literally takes the magic out of Pacific Rim. You know how "drift hangover" refers to a persistent psychic connection between pilot and jaeger? Welp, here "drift hangover" is used to refer to a headache after drifting. Ghost drifting (you know, when pilots get psychic with each other) is turned into ghost piloting, which is when a pilot drifts with the memory of another pilot. Like, it's understandable if most people don't clock the mysticism and animism underpinning Guillermo del Toro's vision of Pacific Rim, but this is a very deliberate effort to erase where humans can just have funky psychic shit happen to them sometimes.

The Black doesn't really seem to understand how drifting works. Two characters have a heated argument without falling out of alignment. Another character functionally has a mind-reading ray. There's no real comprehension of what drift compatibility is and how it works.

The child soldiers are younger than ever. Taylor looks like he was maybe twelve at most when he was taking his pilot's test. Like. Actual twelve year olds are getting certified as jaeger pilots in this world. And this is framed as a good and desirable thing. Literally what the fuck.

The Black calls Horizon Brave "Horizon Bravo," and claims it's a Mark IV jaeger. If you have literally any access to any information about Horizon Brave at all, you know it's a Mark I jaeger.

The jaeger piloted by the children (Atlas Destroyer) is claimed to be a Mark III jaeger, yet uses the type of fuel cells introduced in Uprising. Like it was a whole fucking plot point that Lady Danger was a nuclear jaeger. Literally all they would've had to do was make Atlas Destroyer a Mark VI. It would have been fine.

Atlas Destroyer has a bunch of features Mark IIIs definitely didn't have. Remember how Raleigh and Yancy needed a crew to help them into their drivesuits? Atlas Destroyer just automatically tosses 'em on itself. Remember how Lady Danger's AI mostly just gave status updates? Atlas Destroyer's AI holds entire conversations. Again, you could've just made it a Mark VI, show.

And speaking of Atlas Destroyer's AI, for some goddamn reason the PPDC gave her an emotion chip. Because it's not hard enough to be a pilot already, now your jaeger gets to have anxiety.

The Black claims that Trespasser "smashed the Australian wall in the first attack." This is wrong on every conceivable level. Trespasser attacked San Francisco in the first attack, in 2013. The first kaiju to attack Sydney was Scissure, in 2014. The kaiju what smashed the wall was Mutavore, in 2025.

There is one queer-coded character. He is murdered in gory fashion.

There is one Indigenous-coded character who studies kaiju and their biology. He is depicted being into New Agey woo and wrongly believing that the kaiju he raised can love him. He dies when one of his kaiju eats him.

A major antagonist is depicted as a ruthless man who will kidnap, mindwipe, exploit, and even murder children. Then the show attempts to give him a redemption arc and we're supposed to actually care.

The PPDC refused to let the children's father retrieve them and the other survivors left behind in "the Black." (Read: Australia after the PPDC literally bombed it from space after a bunch of breaches started opening all over it.) Yeah, the PPDC can bomb an entire continent from space, but they can't spare a goddamn rescue helicopter.

Despite all of this and the aforementioned child soldiers, the PPDC is framed as the good guys and the only respite from the horrors of the Black; getting to the Sydney shatterdome is an unambiguously happy ending.

Early on we're lead to think that the PPDC might be getting its hands dirty with kaiju genetic experiments/bioweapon development. Later on we learn that it's the local kaiju cultists doing it. Now come on, which suspect actually makes sense here; the PPDC who can afford to build a killsat, or the kaiju cultists who apparently can't even afford a sterile room to perform a blood transfusion in?

The kaiju cultists are pretty obviously inspired by far right conspiracy theories about evil cults, rather than the actual behaviors of actual cults.

The kaiju sisters recruit by kidnapping women, turning them into kaiju hybrids, and forcing them into their hivemind. For some reason they kill all men. Despite this they are really obsessed with the idea that the half-kaiju smol, who for all appearances is a boy, is going to be their kaiju messiah. It really doesn't make sense, but then again, what can we expect from a slapdash job of far right conspiracy theories?

By the way, this is the PPDC banner literally hanging from the PPDC training center, in the show that is very firm in insisting that THE PPDC IS THE GOOD GUYS WHO PROTECT YOU:

[shimamitsu]

if u ever wanna complain abt blue flag id be all ears. ive had it recommended a ton but never got around to hear abt it

ah, the old blue flag. every few months i remember this manga and i feel pure anger deep in my heart. long post incoming! i know a lot of people like it so i'll preface this by saying that this is my opinion, you can still like it, let's hold hands and read manga together. anyway, blue flag. my main problem is that it feels like something that was written for heterocis people to sympathize with lgbt's people's existence instead of something that actually included lgbt's people's experiences and opinions. all you have to know is that there's this scene where a character makes a list of lgbt songs or smth like that and one of them is shake it off by taylor swift. yeah. i said this yesterday but it's not like i think it's bad for lgbt manga to be educational, that's totally ok. there are works like 'i think our son is gay' that are very good at that. the whole plot of the manga is that a mom finds out her son is gay and it follows how she learns about sexuality, lgbt issues, etc etc (it's also told from her pov). its purpose clearly is to be educational for a non-lgbt audience. with blue flag... it felt like they were trying to explain lgbt 101 to me and failing. it raised a lot of questions about sexuality that in the best of cases the author couldn't give an answer to (and sometimes it's ok not to, but we weren't dealing with queer theory here, the question was like. do gay ppl deserve rights), and in the worst of cases just fumbled the resolution completely. the best example for that is how a character's outing got handled. spoilers here ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ but man. the mc gets outed by his homophobic friend, later it is revealed that this friend is homophobic bc he got assaulted by a man (wow gay predator trope, never seen that before), and the manga could've taken 10000 different directions to deal with that but what did the author decide to do? yeah -> homophobia is just a different opinion! we have to understand where both sides are coming from <3 hell no. die. (it was awful and heartbreaking to read btw). more big spoilers ‼️ another thing that made me violent (and i mean it), was how the manga handled another character's sexuality. one of the main characters, a girl whose name i can't remember, spent the entire manga rightfully struggling with coming to terms with the fact that she liked women. she explicitly said she couldn't like men if i remember correctly. well. here comes a time skip. she's married to a man. how. what. and ofc i'm not saying she can't be bi, but she was clearly written as a lesbian. why on earth is she married to a man then i wanna KILLLLLLLLL. anyway the ending also sucked. in the time skip it's implied the main boys were dating (idek how we got there, ig we skipped the entire sexuality journey of one of them) but it was told from a 1st person pov for some reason so we literally don't see them together (i wonder if it was too gay for shonen jump). when this manga was ongoing, even when it ended, people were promoting it to hell and back, saying how good the "representation" was. i assure you i never saw a manga that centered lgbt characters be talked about THAT much, except maybe shimanami tasogare. it seriously was huge. it was a lot of people's first approach to lgbt manga as well. why people think lgbt manga peaked with ao no flag is beyond me. last year a mutual made a post talking about it and they made a great point which was that blue flag would've never gotten that popular if it wasn't a shonen jump manga and i totally agree. and i'll be bitter about it being licensed where i live while shimanami tasogare isn't until the day i die. but yeah that's a summary of my issues with it. obviously i don't recommend it lol

[calronhunt]

didnt want to be extra annoying and ask this on your art blog so ill settle for just being annoying.. was anything in wac inspired by the life series? like designs or well, anything! discovered ur stuff on youtube and went ooooh and then snooped through all the art i could find and was repeatedly reminded of the sillies that occupy my brain. sorry 2 be weird! ik its the worst question to be asked sorry but its hurting my brain wondering and not knowing

Aw shit ya caught me. I was gonna reveal this fact much later down the line bc ive been kinda open that WAC started out as an AU just not for what. Primarily the reason for secrecy is bc i don't want people to look at this story i put a lot of myself and my experience into and go "I can't believe you tricked me into reading about minecraft men" bc the story has expanded a lot past these intial inspirations.

So before i go into all the inspirations, I wanna make this perfectly clear. WAC's plot is almost completely original, baring some small scenes inspired by events in the Life series and the basic set up. It's a three act story that is mostly about me and my partners problems regarding abuse and personhood. The Life Series au was a starting point and it kinda spiraled out from that lollll.

(Also I saw your other ask and it doesn't bother me at all! Its been something ive wanted to talk about anyway simply bc i find the inspirations funny. Plus I promised myself if someone realized and asked I would talk about it. Also i just love talking about inspiration and seeing how you got from one thing to the next, maybe others would like the same.)

1. "Why are they cats?" This started as an au once again but i felt too embarrassed talking about it publicly as a mcyt au so I gave them cat designs. That's the only reason lol

Lain - Inspired primarily by 3rd life and lim life martyn in regards to both his devotion to the king (ren) and mariner (scott). Lain and Mariner originally started as Majorwood shipping cats but then became more about their unhealthy power dynamics and two people being stuck together it spiraled into what we have now! Especially since I believe Martyn killed Jimmy (Canary) in 3rd life? Or at least scott accuses him as such so that's where that came from.

Mariner - 3rd/lim life scott! His obsession with the sea, his name, his relationship to Canary, his ties to Lain, and his design is pulled from scott. That's about all that's similar now though. His personality is completely different. Hes a shitty fuckinh dude.

Canary - 3rd life Jimmy Solidarity but like fucking barely and just bc hes married to mariner (flower husbands). Took his name from the fandom calling him a canary because he always dies first and that's basically it. Also worked with the bird name theme i was starting to go with

The King - 3rd life ren but again fucking BARELY except for his relationship with Lain and being a king and trying to conquer shit. That's like. It.

Condor - he's just mr good times with scar. Hes like, the closest to his mcyt counterpart probably and im not even sorry. Took primarily from 3rd life and lim life once again though in regards to his relationship with Crane (Cleo), Warbler (bdubs), and Scout (Etho) (and also the fact the group is called the flock is a cheeky callback to the family being called the clockers)

Crane - stated above, Cleo, but only bc shes mom in the clockers family. Nothing else.

Warbler - limlife bdubs but again fucking BARELY. I think the bdubs skin is the most i drew on for her design with the fucked up eye and teeth.

Grouse - mr 3rd life grian. Dating condor because desert duo and feeling indebted to him for that as well. And just. Generally little guy vibes.

Scout - etho. Just for chill vibes. Dating Crabe because hes "dad" in lim life and dating Wolf (Joel) bc of double life halfslab.

Wolf - Primarily last life joel with the living alone in the woods thing and joel just being a like. Maniac in the life series with the murders and such. Dating scout again bc of double life. The her having canary's skull thing is just for my friend who is a big fucked up smallidarity shipper.

Sycamore, coal, and aster are original characters i made specifically for the story.

I would again like to state that the story is BARELY tied to things that happen in the life series, and its mostly my personal experiences and silly thoughts. The silly minecraft men were just the jumping off point and all of their arcs are original so there ya go <3

[heartbeatbookclub]

I absolutely adore all of your analysis so far, they are so indepth and it feels like you’re able to explain stuff that I’m only able to vaguely think in an abstract sense when it comes to ddlc and dhdhdj so so good

I do wanna say that for you mc analysis, there’s one thing missing. I’m someone who got into ddlc cause of plus so I have hyperfixated on all the lore. While the employees imply that Monika made MC, I don’t think that’s actually true based on what we know about Monika. If she could make a whole character then why couldn’t she make herself a route? Heck in one of her act 3 convos, she can barely change the music before saying “well I just break everything anyway”.

So I believe based on other emails, that it was Ive Laster who made MC since they were the one who wanted to make ddlc a game. In the first meeting notes, we are told that Ive tends to ramble a lot. But in the next one when MC is mentioned in a meeting, they are silent. Another thing is that in one of the ddlc plus trailers, ive is the name of the MC.

It could be said that Ive based it on the stuff in the control group, but the control group was made AFTER the main vm (That’s not how a science experiment should work but ya know, I don’t think they are smart). So really the control group is based on main game first. Honestly so much of the issue of the plus lore is how it’s so convoluted to get, but reading it all on the wiki helped me alot.

Plus seemed to add a new sense of horror to the og, the horror of knowledge that one plagued Monika is now plaguing the player as we have all this information but can do nothing to help them. I think the idea of MC being made by someone else adds this new layer to him along with this new layer of horror. But that’s more just my own thoughts on it that I thought you may find interesting along with all the lore from above.

Anyway, I hope you have a good day! Your post are great and I’ll make sure to keep up with coil more!

aw, thanks anon! i often find it difficult to find the exact way to explain what i'm thinking when i do analysis like i have on this blog, so i'm glad i can at least help to put it into words for other people who have even more trouble with it than i do.

as for the rest of your statement...i think you make a compelling point. full disclaimer; a lot of my knowledge on what's presented in + outside of the full text of the side stories is secondhand, and when talking about the original game, i think it's important to keep in mind that my reference for most of this is my playthrough with my friends back in like...2017-18ish a little after the game came out...? aheh, i won't lie, though i am rather obsessive in the course of scouring information i remember via the wiki/elsewhere to verify i'm not just making it up, putting off my replay of the og game has not been helpful for me.

i think it's very much up in the air as to how much influence that Monika actually has over the game, which is something i talked about in my analysis of Natsuki in the Side Stories. in my opinion, what + demonstrates more than anything is that in whatever she DID do in the main game, she mostly worked with material that was already there to make things easier on her. one of the things i based that claim on was the reference of the Protagonist in the Side Stories, but it's not a necessary claim, and in fact, i think you do make a good point in how it's unlikely that she'd be able to do this (at the very least, by herself) based on what's been shown of her ability in the game.

i think, in regards to your comment on the reference to MC in the Side Stories, it's important to consider the wider conceit of DDLC--i have a deeper analysis i'm tinkering around with on terms of it as an exploration of fiction vs the concept within the "universe", but that's another story--namely, all of the girls aren't (or at least, are heavily implied not to be) just static fictional characters following a pre-written script, they're genuine artificial intelligence!

this is part of what i meant when i said that the Side Stories demonstrate the raw character of each of the girls independently of any 4th wall shenanigans--within the world of Doki Doki Literature Club, they're essentially just people living in the confines of a computer, and therefore have essential, largely immutable character traits which exist within some fundamental essence of what makes them who they are. i think there are a shitload of really, really terrifying things this opens the door to if you really think about its nature (independently of DDLC, i've personally had longform discussions with a friend about the morality and potential horrors which would exist within a similar universe concept, and it's somewhat ubiquitous in a lot of sci-fi universes), but like i said, that's a different discussion entirely!

what i'm trying to suggest here is that it's likely that Sayori's relationship to the Protagonist is something inherent to her character, so it doesn't necessarily have to be something gleaned entirely from the Side Stories.

of course, this is all post hoc reasoning with what we're given! occam's razor suggests that it's actually just likely that (given that DDLC was written and released a long while prior to the Side Stories) they didn't necessarily plan every part of this from the outset, so some things just naturally seem to fit together a little weirdly, with little details added here and there just for flavor! i think that given the nature of the entire thing (and how Dan Salvato has talked about DDLC and the statements he's given with about in universe details in the past), it's unlikely that every single element of this was planned out from the word go.

this might be a bit of a controversial opinion, but there's a lot about how + handles the lore of ddlc that i didn't really like, just because it adds a whole new layer of lore and context, which soured a lot of my impressions, because the original game really flourished in its simplicity. that said, with all that's been given in the Side Stories and the deeper layers to the actual horror which are now visible in the original game, i think it pretty well makes up for it!

awa, i didn't plan for this to become an entire essay in itself...but i do appreciate this kind of thing! i really like digging deep into what's explicitly provided in canon to get a deeper understanding of the characters and universe as it's actually been shown, so any encouragement and correspondence related to either my analysis or my opinions in general are welcome! honestly, i'm also welcome to read others' analysis like this, because i like to see when people read deep into it like i do! typically it ends up reshaping how i see the entire thing, and it sorta just makes my heart happy to get people thinking about this stuff!

i think, as a last thought, if MC is actually conscious in any way similar to the other girls (which I think is a definite possibility, given his ability to respond in contexts impacted by Monika's manipulation, even if barebones), it actually makes him a very interesting character in his simplicity. i know that Dan Salvato doesn't see him as one, but i think it'd make for an interesting study in a fanfic or something.

i hope you also have a good day anon (even though it's 2 am here as i'm writing this...) and you BETTER KEEP UP W/IT I PUT MY HEART N SOUUL INTO THAT BABY (/lh /hj i'm just glad other people are liking it, even if it's just silent kudos :))

[docilepillow]

MARCH 2024 MEDIA DIARY 2

I ran out of embed space on the first post i had slotted in for this!!! So i'm making two posts!!!!!!! They belong together!!!! Okay!!!!!!! PIZZA TOWER < this game is soggy goop >

Even though I cleared a good portion of this game nigh a year ago now, i still feel compelled to put it on my media diary now, as i've only just got around to finishing the game properly! I believe the point i dropped off the game before was at Pig City, which, i think , is kinda understandable given how big that level is, but, was probably a real bummer for the whole of my friend group who were super into the game when it was new and i probably missed out on talking about it alot with them... POOP!!!! just because this game is popular enough to actually warrant talking about it with my friends later, instead of saying stuff like how i enjoyed the silly cartoony art stlye and the games general charm, im just going to post a level tier list i made the second i beat the game at like near midnight kinda hazy-minded without thinking on it too hard without thinking too deeply in a way thatll be completely inflamitory bc im mostly satisfied with the experience i had and dont really feel the urge to P rank anything --

The stats are saying my total hours round up to 6 hours 50 and pepinno is pointing at me Aughh

My , , Errr, " CRITISISM " of this game is that the funny pizza man is a little, erm, STICKY? Kinda gross. a little weird. Partially my fault. I'm sowwy. I'm not very good at this game but i absolutely respect everyone's opinion on it . Go watch my friend @shoppncart's speedrun, by the way, it's cool :

Speedy! THE MARIO MOVIE < the bario boooby geheheheheheheh >

this is probably a tired opinion but since i was subjected to this movie for the fifth time in a voice call my take is thaat this is probably more enjoyablel then the safeass illumination film. like. yea. that films probably objectively better but. id rather watch something thats an actual adaptation. like this movie. where basically nothing mario happens outside names . Aw. i honestly think this movie has intrigue to it genuinely maybe im saying this bc its one of the movies ive actually watched repeatedly before, like roger rabbit, but i think the history behind this movie and the old anamocity turned-endearment are what make it worth watching. that and its a little goopy You Guys Wanna See Some MM2 Proggys? not a new piece of media technically but ive been playing a fuckton of MM2 recently still as of the end of the month and its absolutely dominating my time as of late, and i kinda wanna show off a small amount of the progress ive made on it, as much as the world map, at least --

It's a media diary. it exists to document MY gaming life. Deal. anyway in regards to it i'm almost finished with the world 4 castle, which is crazy, because before i hadn't even finished world 2, but now i got all of this creative energy in me... If i finish this soon enough, i'd be able to upload it on NSO, so keep your tumpler eyes peeled, mutrals :J I personally like it because theres a theme of aescending on the world map. The space theme in this looks the best, i think.. THE ALCHEMY OF US - HOW HUMANS AND MATTER TRANSFORMED ONE ANOTHER < what the fuck ????? a book ??????? >

yea thats right im reading books this ones actually pretty good apparently a 2020 bestseller though im not in the habit of reading those often so i'll just have to take their word for it on that aspect. i think lifes all about trying new things so around halfway through the month i picked up this cool book i found at my library and got a library card. After reading through it all, i think anecdotally that this book is a very neat read. theres a few sentences that're a little offputting to my young mind but overall the book is filled with alot of cool insight i reccomend checking out if youre the boooky type of person! i think its very good and im glad i picked it out :) i donnu how many of these will be going onto my media diary in the future or anything , but maybe i will if i end up reading more! I'll have to make it up to a friendd for waiting till now to put up something i read here first before that thing she likes. oops.

Volp. OUTSIDE of the traditional media format again, also, are things i largely started on this month but don't think i'll be making all too much more progress in, or if i'm unsure i'll finish what i was doing all in one month- CASTLEVANIA THE ADVENTURE- REBIRTH

POINT OF DROP OFF - STAGE 4 END BOSS REASON BEING - UMMM SORRY I GOT DISTRACTED AND DIED TOO MUCH

castlevania rebirth is a really really cool game. its really cool and im not typing this as fresh as everything else because it was something i picked up for one big sitting earlier in the month. i probably couldve finished it at any point during the week, but simply was too distracted and wanted to do other stuff. It's very cool though, i love the vector sprite art, and there ARE silly stock sound effects everywhere, which is always a big positive for me . I mostly just like how snug the wii classic controller is , and this is a cool game to play it with considering its one of the only non virtual console or old game collection style games available for wii in this exact style ( Not counting the good handful of games that choose to use the wiimote on its side instead. )

over all ill probably sit down and finish this someday soon i just gotta like find time for it whenever next my wii u is plugged in ( it fights for an hdmi slot with my switch and ps4 all the time...! ), and ill probably end up trying to play punch out wii at the same time, given one doesnt dominate my attention over the other. From my understanding they're both short, though, so it shouldnt be too big a deal or obstacle no matter how long i put this off. RANDOM TERRARIA PLAYTHROUGH terraria playthru 1million

ii just really want to see the new terraria update Waaaah... i stopped having fun because i self imposed myself to not use setbonus armor sets at the part of the game where that stops being acceptable anymore so im stopping i think i did get to make another terraria pet though that makes me happy POINT OF DROP OFF - the mechanical bosses

also the most recent thing is

i got too tense and needed to excuse myself after like an hour 30 i cant take too much tension in movies i was really uncomfortable and had to leave to take a breather bc the main character gets put in a really really shitty situation and it was getting hard to watch for my autistic ass

thats enough i think thanks for coming see you next month lol

[boxwinebaddie]

yoooo so Ive read that one post about how you work with kids and I was like "omg literally same !" and I was wanting to lyk that even though some kids can be little shits, a lot of the time if youre patient with them, joke with them and, heres a big one, talk to them like theyre friends and not just kids theyll treat you wayyy better. I also know you said you work with first to second graders(at least Im pretty sure you said that) and I work with fourth to fifth graders so there probably is a difference. I thought youd wanna know just in case you needed advice or anything. My question is how has that been going so far? Like are you enjoying it, regretting it, that typa stuff.

P.s. im not a really old guy who's a teacher sitting at my laptop, im in my last year of high school and Ive done a lot of volunteer work with kids in it. Hope youre doing amazing!!!<<333

hello, my dear!!! no, thank you so much for the advice -- tbh i have been Struggling lately...this job is stealing the light from my eyes.

( this is a long ass post that is probably too personal but i am honestly not vibing At All so i'm answering this honestly. you do not have to read this message, it is me bitching for several paras. :// </3 )

but i digress!

that is not to say that i dont love working with kids/teaching, but the particular job i work is not...totally within my wheelhouse and is not that fun for me...per say. also, as far as first and second graders go, 1, 2 and kinder are actually the grades that i want to work w/ the most! and are unfortunately the kids i get to work with...sigh...the Least.

my particular position deals mostly with middle school and high school students which is NOT!! what my teaching credential is in btw. so i am suffering, omg. please free uncle nina from high schooler hell.

i also took this job because i weenie hut jr'ed out of taking an Actual Teaching position at a school because i got really nervous ( bc kids in 1st grade have to read A LOT, like without context, they start at the begining of the year reading a level books and have to finish the year reading i level books WHICH IS A LOOOT OF LEVELS )

and that bc ur first year of teaching is the hardest year ( a lot of ppl drop out/quit ) i would fuck up bc idk what i'm doing yet and a bunch of kids would end up behind bc i didn't teach them how to read correctly. like, when i tell you that sitting here in the lounge typing that literally makes me want to cry like...that would Devastate me. :(((

but anyways, i am...trying to be chiller w/ the older kids. bc i came out the gate being Strict ( because no jokes, every other school i worked out the kids had to be HELLA quiet like they could not talk or be rowdy ) but i guess…the school i'm working at is not like that? and a lot of my coworkers...don't press the kids that hard? WHICH!!!

OKAY FUN FACT NO ONE TRAINED ME HAHA!!! they just dropped me in the middle of this goddamn school and were like good luck! so no one gave me insight onto the kids, where the classes were or how they were interacting with them...so...HSLDLSKH SIIIIIGH.

this...job.

like i said though, i'm trying to chill more with the kids because HOOOOOLY SHIT SOME OF THEM ARE SO MEAN!!!! WHAT THE FUCK OHHHH MY GOD!!!! when i tell you i saw 17 boys on their phones, walked past them 3 times and only took ONE PHONE???? BECAUSE ITS LITERALLY MY FUCKING JOB????? and all 17 boys like twice as tall as me heckled the SHIT out of me??? :'((((

like made fun of my dye job and Everything abt me??? </3 for taking One Cellphone that a kid wasnt supposed to be on Bc If I Didn't I Would Get In Trouble that the kid could have probably just begged to get back and would be gotten back immediately?!!! thats how UNSERIOUS they are about bustin the kids at this school!!

WISH SOME1 WLD HAVE TOLD ME THAT! LOL THX!!!!!

but like it was sooooo....it made me so stressed out and it was so awful, i also had really gnarly experiences w/ bullying in high school and middle school, so being back in it is honestly kinda triggering? needless to say, i did spend the rest of that period crying in the teachers lounge like it seriously sucked; i was rlly embarrassed. :c

that's so fun ur working a lot with 4th/5th though! i student taught in 5th this time last year and it was sometimes hard ( i am so stupid like i can only teach k-2, i'm too dumb to do any math harder than that ) academically and socially but i had a lot of fun!

when i wasn't dying!

i am not dying as much rn as i was doing that, but it was certainly more rewarding? like tbh this position is basically me being a human punching bag for middle and upper kids all day long and is really kind of...demeaning? which is annoying bc ( not to be like that ) but bc i literally have my teaching credential i could Be A Teacher In An Actual Elementary School Class, but bc i took this job/chickened out...

i am doing this lowk whack job that i'm both underqualified and overqualified to run. i Do get to work with the littles very early in the day & in the evening and thats...worth getting my shit kicked in by 14 year olds all day long. truly love the k-2 kids; its my happy place.

THANK YOU FOR ASKING THOUGH!!! this is unprofessional, obvi, hopefully will not bite me in the ass later but at thiiis point? idk. respectfully fuck this job lol. i am so tired every single day and there are only brief moments of sunshine. i would not wish this on anyone.

high school boys stop being mean to me challenge! very whack! however, elementary school children! you are so lovely!!! i had a girl make me a little origami flower and give it to me <3 like okay little pep stan! i see you! there is like a kgarten boy who gives me a hug every day, a girl whose shoes i tie every morning -- all of them remember my name which is more than aaaaa lot of the older kids will do for me.

( which!!! they're just kids you know!! its not their fault that they're being a lot!!! their brains are still forming and u know!! i was in mid/hs and it does suck and its hard and stressful! i am not really even mad at them its just...unfortunate. it's also not an age level that i rlly connect w/also discipling them or...not ig idk, is not really something i'm passionate about...like man i just want to sing the fucking calendar song and clap call and response and count on my fingers again. ;-; )

i'm sure as the semester goes by i'll feel better but right now, i am having a pretty rough time and wish i just bit the bullet and started teaching because this is seriiiiiously humilitating, fml. <///3

-uncle nina who is really bad at my job ig? lol i hate this

p.s. this isn't even really a request because every single one of you is kind and wonderful to me, but idk if i seem stressed or it's annoying that my asks are building up/i'm not updating my fics, know its bc i am here from like 6am until like 4:30pm, get my shit rocked, and then go home and sleep for like three hours and repeat every day. just b gentle w/ me if u can; i'm Very Depressed. :(

p.s.s. also unfortunately i cannot take a different job; i signed a contract that keeps me here until june, so i gotta tough it, smh.