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kahlanmars · 11 months

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BAD FEELING 14

I am so early it's getting annoying, you know, but I feel so happy when I write this! Also, I'm a GREAT Taylor Swift fan so if you think "Uhm, that's a funny coincidence" it's not lol.

Comment if you want me happyyyyy! I don't know if it's worth it to keep going, I don't know if people like it or not!

MASTERLIST

gif not mine

14. One kiss, one page

The first days in District Thirteen are far from perfect. The suit they gave you is the most horrendous piece of clothing they could ever choose, and make up is forbidden. It is like they want to erase all the pretty things from the world.

You asked to be placed in Haymitch’s room, but they told you it wasn’t possible if you weren’t married.

You are in quarantine, which means no mom, no Effie and no Katniss, you are all in a room with a lot of beds and parasols and grey curtains. They love grey, from what you’ve seen. Perla and Lora are still asleep, they are worse injured than you, and Finnick is working with something technological speaking with someone, but you can’t sleep.

The bright side is that for a night you still have your man. Tomorrow he is sent to rehab, a violent and deeply wrong kind of rehab you can’t quite put a finger on. Are they trying to make him feel worse? Because he is a spectacular asset in the revolution, but even a genius can’t think straight with tremors and headaches.

«Can I tell you something without sounding ungrateful? Because I am. I am deeply grateful that you saved me.» You say, while Haymitch is in your bed. His hands are already shaking from the addiction, but you like to think your caresses can make the situation a little better. He hums in pleasure in response so maybe you are right.

«Go on.»

«I don’t like this place.» You whisper. «All these rules are weird. I am not saying I would go back to the Capitol, but…»

He shuts you up with a kiss. «You made your point.» And he made his. You couldn’t speak freely, not yet. From the Capitol to District 13 you are still in the game, just with another character.

«Maybe I will like it better after quarantine.» You humour him. «I really hope I’ll be able to visit you.»

«Perhaps you shouldn’t. They explained what will happen, and they mentioned rage, hallucinations, there is a reason why I’m in isolation.» You’ve seen him in bad places before, but hallucinations… that scares you a little, you have to admit it.

«I can handle it.» You murmur looking at his blue eyes.

«You don’t have to.»

«Yes I need to.» You shake your head. «You are not my mentor anymore.»

«I know but-»

«No. You are not my mentor anymore, or my employer for what it matters. You don’t need to protect me from the world, what have I told you before? I am an adult just like you. I took care of you before, I cleaned your mess and stayed with you. I’m strong, Haymitch. And I like you. And if we want to continue what we have, and of course you want to because I’m flawless and stunning, we have to take care of each other. Fifty fifty.»

He is silent. You didn’t want to give him a lecture, but at the same time he has to understand that he is not your boss. The power dynamics in your relationship are fucked up, but you are not a damsell in distress.

But maybe you overstepped. «If, if you want to keep going with it, of course.» You add, and now your eyes are on the floor.

«I wouldn’t have begun something with you if I didn’t know about the revolution.» He whispers.

«Funny, I thought I was going to die in a week.»

«I knew you weren’t. I mean, there was a chance, but not a high one.» He lifts up your chin, forcing you to watch him in the eyes. «I’m not good with those things.» He confesses.

«I know. I just want to know if you want it. Because if you don’t want it’s okay, but if you would like to be with me, without any label of sort, just you and me… Well we know we work well together.»

«I’m a mess.» He argues.

«Do you want it?» You insist.

«You are twenty four and I’m forty one.» He retorts.

«Do you want me?»

«I’m not a relationship type.»

«I never asked for a relationship but if you don’t want me I deserve to know.»

He shuts the hell up for a moment, and you can’t help but think of the worst. «Are you tired of me?»

He takes your lips in a kiss so fierce and powerful that is almost violent, all of his strength is on your body, all of his weight on you. «Never.» He answers between kisses.

You smirk. «I have broken ribs, you savage.»

«Oh fuck sorry, I didn’t think.» He tries to get up but you immediately take him and push him down to you. He didn’t think. Not “I didn’t think about it”, he didn’t think because he was so whipped by you.

«Nah-ah, mine.» You purr in his ear. «Is that a yes?»

He just nods. You get it’s hard for him, after his parent’s and girlfriend’s death. He was isolated from the whole world, he said it himself he didn’t want to get attached to you. You managed to keep him tied to you nonetheless.

«I like you so much. You don't have to tell me anything but I want you to know.» Because he thinks he doesn't deserve this. And maybe, just maybe, if you keep repeating it he will believe you.

«You have to get some sleep, sweetheart.» He kisses your forehead. You giggle at this exposure of tenderness.

«I don't want to waste time. What if there's a cute doctor and you fall in love with her?» This time you joke, but he rolls his eyes.

«Given the fact that I have been living like an hermit since I was seventeen, I think you are pretty safe in that field.» You hope. You tend to be the jealous type, you were with Clark and it wasn’t a sensual situation, you don’t know how you could react to jealousy in a relationship. Even if yours is not a relationship.

«They will have their claws on you. You are handsome, you know?» You start peppering kisses on his neck. «All the girls want to be me.»

«You are delusional.» You aren’t. As much as Perla can joke about it and Finnick can says he is old, he is not even fifty, he has strong arms and blue eyes, and he is magnetic in everything he does. You feel a little safer just because he is in disguise as this drunk grumpy crazy man who doesn’t want to talk to anyone, but it’s a charade. And even when he was playing the part he used to go to every shop in District 12 to buy something, just to help the people who worked there with his victor’s money. During Christmas he sometimes gave candies to the kids, or he gave you the money to do so without his name on it. He has a great heart. You hope women don’t notice it too much.

«Oh c'mon! Maybe this drunk character you've created is not that appealing, but you must know you are good looking.» Even Katniss said it, when he was younger he was a looker.

«I was. When I was sixteen. At your age I was already a wreck.»

«No you weren't! And you are not now.»

You stay silent for a moment, and you stroke his hair.

You hate Snow for what he has done to him, and you can’t help but wonder why you are not a wreck. You should be, you killed two people. People who had a family, dreams, ambitions. You always thought you would have been traumatised for that, thinking they had mothers who cried for them, children maybe, as for the Capitol man. In reality it didn’t happen. You can sleep at night. The Capitol man was a rapist and he deserved it, and you repeatedly asked Clark to be in an alliance with you, you begged him, and he was actively trying to kill you from the start.

Are you just evil? You know Haymitch is not, and he tries so hard to be. Maybe you try so hard to be good because you are evil.

«How was she?» You suddenly ask.

«Who?» He frowns.

«Marjorie.»

You are sure he will stand up and go away, and you see in his eyes he is about to do this but he squeezes your hand.

«We were very young. She was the baker's daughter, like Peeta. She was beautiful. All the boys wanted her, you know.» He indulges himself to be a little proud of his younger self, who succeeded in conquering the most beautiful girl in the district. You ignore the sting of jealousy, because it’s nonsense. She is dead.

«Did you love her?»

«I was sixteen. Sneaking in the meadows to have sex is not exactly love.»

«It is at sixteen.» You press a kiss on his cheek. «I'm not going to say it.» You didn't deserve this, you were a kid in a game stronger than you. And she didn't deserve it either, barely in a young love. It is not your fault. Not everyone you love will die. It is not a curse. You are not the problem.

«Thanks.»

He takes your face in his hands and he gives you a long deep kiss.

«You survived.» You can read his mind: you managed to survive despite him, it is a miracle, he should probably leave you alone because a miracle doesn’t happen twice.

«I'm pretty hard to kill. Thanks for the water.» You want to keep the conversation on a lighter note. He is done talking about his late girlfriend, it’s a great gift he even agreed to this at all.

«No problem, gorgeous.» He pats your leg. Oh if you weren’t in a room full of people you would have know how to spend the last night with your man.

«Would you read for me?» You suggest, «Since we are not sleeping. I want to read all the books you have, I've always been envious of your library.»

He laughs. «I clearly remember you stealing my books while you were cleaning.»

«What can I say? Now I've read all the books beside your bed. We know each other better.»

He nods, amused by your ability to speak your way out of any situation. «Little thief. Good thing you are so beautiful.» He is in a playful mode now, so he leans down for a peck.

«Shhh, read the book. Pleeeease.» You blush a little, but two can play at this game.

He takes a book from his bed and goes back to you. “Tales of Panem”, you didn’t read it. He is right, you borrowed several of his books. He had Capitol books, and the little school library in the district has four or five books. You had to.

«One kiss, one page?» He suggests, but your hands are already on his chest.

«One kiss, one line.» You debate.

«We will never finish the first chapter.» He laughs, but he kisses you anyway. You won.

«We have all night. Are you complaining?» You pat his arm, and he bites your neck. You should be more aware of marks now that you’ll live with your mother again.

«Never.»

The separation is not messy because he is not here when you wake up. There’s a note instead.

See you later, gorgeous. Take care of yourself, and visit when I’ll be better. Not before. Trust me, I’ll miss you.

Of course, he avoids the big goodbye. Maybe it’s better this way, you would have said something bad about the District.

«Can I get up?» You ask your nurse when she comes, and she caresses your cheek. You want to say to her you are not a kid, but it’s actually cute.

«You’ll take medication. Your body will be in shape in two or three days, ok?»

«Three days?» You whisper in disbelief. In Twelve everything was a big deal, you had a tiny hospital but it wasn’t so good and nurses here and there, like Katniss’s mother, who did what they had to do. Holly took care of pregnancies, for example. You didn’t want to be sick in Twelve.

«A lot of Capitol doctors are rebels, so now we have their medicine.» She explains. You nod, thinking how the hell doctors could know about the revolution.

There are a lot of things you have to catch up on.

«Thank you for saving me.» You add, and you know she didn’t do anything but it’s her home, and as much as you don’t like they still saved you. «I’m Daisy.»

«My name is Inez.» She greets you. There is something weird in her tone, though. Something like an accent. Yours.

«You… you have my accent?» You are surprised you see that, but after two weeks in the Capitol and one in the Games you are not used to your accent anymore.

«I used to live in District 12 when I was a kid.» She explains, a sweet smile on her face. She looks like your mother’s age, maybe they know each other.

«What happened then?»

«I became an orphan, I was in the system, I was in danger and… it was another time, another life.» She strokes your hair. «I’ve seen you in the Games.» She murmurs while she takes care of your medication. If she wants to change the subject you are fine with it. «How you saved the girl from Eleven and the girl from Four.»

«I also killed the boy from my district.» You have to add. She was in an orphanage? That’s the life Holly spared you.

«Wasn’t he going to kill you first?» She finishes it. «Do you really want to become a teacher?»

You are not sure anymore, if you have to be honest. You like kids and the prospect felt good in Twelve, but now you found out new labels of yourself. You like clothes, you like creating outfits, but in District Twelve it’s not really useful.

«I think so, yeah. I mean a week ago I thought I was going to be dead so I didn’t think much about my career, but since I’m not, yeah.»

«We have a lot of District 12 kids and we are actually looking for a substitute teacher. Would you be interested in that?» Well, it’s a way to settle down for the moment. You are not a tribute anymore, you obviously are not a maid anymore, you might as well be what you wanted to be for twelve years.

«Yeah, I would like that.»

She seems satisfied with the answer.

«So I’m sorry if I overstepped but… it is real?» Oh, the question. Everybody has The Question. Was it real? Was it for the cameras? Are you in love with a victor who won when you weren’t even born yet?

«Very real.» You confirm. She looks a little worried. That’s the prelude for your mother’s reaction.

«Isn’t he a little old for you? You are, what, twenty?»

«Twenty four. And no, he is not a little old for me.» You sound cranky now and you get that it’s not good manners, but that’s not that nurse’s business.

She gets it, luckily. «He seems like a good man.»

«He is the best.»

She ties your hair in a ponytail and she caresses your face. «Are you ready to get up?»

Turns out you weren’t so ready to get up, because you have to sit down after five minutes. You don’t have any resistance and you just want to rest.

The bright side is that you get to see District 13 and it sucks. There’s no silver lining for that, it’s horrendous. You are grateful you don’t have to fight to the death, but the place scares you. Everything is grey, there are a lot, a lot of tunnels and all the rooms are the same. You will get lost, you already know that.

Inez is near to you until you go to a room that looks like a cafeteria, and then she is gone again and you are alone.

For a moment.

«Daisy!» You’d recognize that voice everywhere.

«Mommy!» She hugs you tight, a little too tight given that you have broken ribs. You shouldn’t call her “mommy”, you are an adult, and truth to be told you almost never call her mom, but you really thought you’d never see her again.

«You are safe. You came back to me.» She strokes your raven hair, like you are a baby, and she refuses to let you go until you have to sit.

She looks twenty years older. You are not going to tell her, but she has a lot of wrinkles on her skin and white hair in her locks.

«I thought I’d lost you.» She repeats, and now she is crying.

«You didn’t.» You are vaguely aware you are making a scene, and you don’t want Perla or Lora to see you. They don’t have their mom here. You didn’t even see Chaff, you don’t know if he is here or captured in the Capitol. «I’m here.»

«When you were in the games, I- I didn’t want to watch it but I wanted to see you, and…»

«I think I nailed it, didn’t I?» You try to take a lighter note, but she seems upset.

«The poor Undersee boy.»

The poor Undersee boy wanted to end your daughter’s life, but before you could say something like that to her you are hugged again, and this time you scream too.

«Effie!» You are beyond happy to see her. She was your light in the Capitol and you can be her light here, in a place that you know better.

«My darling girl!» She winks at you and you hug her again, you want to keep her close.

She is so different. She doesn’t have her signature wig, but she covers her hair with a foulard. Grey, of course. And she doesn’t have any makeup on. «Your wig…»

«I am a political refugee, darling. Can’t ask for much.» That is deeply wrong. She helped you get out of the games alive, she saved you as much as Haymitch did, and now they repay them with a violent rehab and insufferable rules.

«You are still beautiful, it’s not something they can take away from you.» You try to reassure her, and it’s the truth. Even in a grey jumpsuit that is made to look bad she shines.

«Well, let’s say we are here and safe. And you are my roommate.»

You almost jump before you remember you can’t because you are bandaged. Inez would kill you. «That is fabulous! If we have any ashes I think we can make black eyeshadow.»

«You genius girl, I missed you so much.»

Holly is there, looking a little confused. Well, she doesn’t know how much you became close to Effie Trinket during your time in the penthouse, but she will understand. Effie is a good person, people in District 12 need to understand that.

«Mom, can I lie down now? I’m a little tired.» You still call her mom, because you missed her. You missed her hug, and you desperately needed her when President Snow decided you were a target.

You called her in your sleep when you killed a man, and it’s not her fault she didn’t hear you.

Still, Effie was there.

«Of course honey, can you handle going into your room alone?» You don’t think so, without Capitol medication you wouldn’t have been able to walk at all, but you don’t want to look spoiled or weak so you are about to say yes, when Effie snorts in a way that is somehow still ladylike.

«Nonsense, we can ask someone to carry her.»

«If she says she can, why bother someone?» Your mother argues.

«Because she’s turning blue.»

«Actually,» You interrupt them. «I don’t think I can do it alone.» You don’t want to portrait Holly like the villain, but it’s true you are turning blue from the effort.

With a satisfied glance Effie manages to ask a boy from District 13 to accompany you, but before you get to be in your bed, your mother stops you.

«Can we talk later?» She is worried, and a little angry maybe. You don’t want to deal with it right now. You know what she wants to say. You killed an innocent guy, you fraternised with the enemy, Effie Trinket is vain and shallow, and you admitted on national television you had sex with a guy who shared my class in first grade.

«Later.» You promise.

When she goes away it’s Effie who caresses your hair. Your room is the same as all the other rooms, narrow, poky and grey, two beds with white blank sheets and a little tiny toilet with a door - thank all the gods.

«I don’t feel safe here.» You whisper, and she just nods. «Can you stay with me?»

You and her are both stuck with you, you remember Haymitch’s words. Your loyalty is with them, and Katniss, and Peeta and your friends. And your mom, of course. You have to remember that.

She kisses you on the cheek and tugs your bed before sitting on your sheets.

«Always, darling girl.»

#fanfiction #haymitch abernathy #haymitch x fem!reader #bad feeling #haymitch abernathy x reader #haymitch imagine #haymitch abernathy x you #haymitch x reader #the hunger games #woody harrelson #daisy pinecone

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withacapitalp · 1 year

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Tell Him (Nothing) Everything Pt 3

Part One Part Two Link to Ao3

Chapter Three: Three Reunions

“Oh, I’m in so much trouble. I need some help, and I couldn’t think of anyone else to go to. So here I am to bug you again. Congratulations, you get to listen to my problems. Again. Too bad you can’t even stop me!”

Silence. Nothing but silence. There wasn’t even the sound of birds.

“I brought you flowers. Violets and white roses. I went to that florist you really liked. I actually know the people that own it now. Well, Steve knows them. Apparently one of their kids is friends with his little brother so he got me a hookup. I didn’t tell him why I needed the flowers, but I think it was okay. He’s good at not asking. It’s nice.”

Eddie could write a song about this. The quiet, the silence that was both freeing and confining. The way the violets and roses were held together with a soft blue ribbon that matched her eyes.

It wouldn’t be like any other song he wrote, but that was good. A song for Chrissy was going to have to be special, maybe the most important one he ever sang.

“I haven’t told you about him. Steve. He lives here in Hawkins, if you can believe that I fell for a small town hick. That’s a joke, and it’s not really that nice. I shouldn’t say that. He’s not a hick. He’s actually really sweet, and thoughtful, and funny, and… He owns a cafe in the middle of town called Claudia’s. I bet you went there when we came home to visit, it’s totally your kind of place. Maybe you even knew him. He’s only a few years younger than us, so you might’ve been in school together or something. You were the Prom Queen, and he was apparently a big time jock. I hope you guys never kissed or anything, that would be so weird.”

The good thing about going to the cemetery early in the morning was that it was always empty. Eddie was the only person there, so he could sit with his back against Chrissy’s headstone and babble freely without any worries of who might be listening in.

“I really like him, Chris. Like actually really like him, not just really like him because he’s giving me attention and I’m lonely.”

That was the thing she always worried about. She was viciously protective of Eddie, and she approached every one of his potential partners with high scrutiny over their intentions.

If only he had done the same.

The band even had a joke about it. No one Eddie ever went out with got the ‘Chrissy Stamp of Approval’. None of the dozens of men and women who wanted her best friend were good enough for him in her eyes.

Steve would’ve passed her test. Eddie was sure of it.

“You know that thing you always told me? About how I was going to find someone who just made things easy? I think I finally did. I’ve been so tired since… since everything, and when I’m with him I’m not tired. I’m- I’m happy. I don’t know if I deserve that. Actually, I know I don’t deserve it, but I am happy. Really happy, Chrissy, which isn’t fair, but it is true.”

Chrissy would have hated to hear him say that. She never liked when he put himself down. But without her around to check him on that, Eddie’s mind had no reason to stay away from the dark thoughts that lingered on the edges of his psyche.

“He’s just so kind. He always has time for me, even when things are busy. And he never pushes, even when I can tell he wants to. He’s raising his little brother, who is a huge fan by the way, and he takes care of this entire horde of kids that Dustin is friends with. I’ve never met any of them, but I can just tell they love him as much as he loves them.”

Eddie could tell by the hand drawn cards that littered the back wall of Claudia’s and the endless photo albums that Steve had on his phone. He could see it in the soft smile Steve wore any time he spoke about any of the kids, and the way he always saved extras of their favorite treats.

Normally, Eddie was terrified of people with children, petrified by the thought of fucking someone up like his parents had fucked him up. Wayne had healed most of those wounds, but ultimately Eddie had still sworn that he would never have any kids. He even got a vasectomy when he was 19 just to be a hundred percent sure that there would never be an accident.

Now all he wanted to do was meet Steve’s kids and do a solo show, just to rock their socks off.

“I can practically hear you in my head. ‘Why not just ask him out already then, Munson?’ Well, he doesn’t know me. I mean he knows me, but he doesn’t know that I’m ‘The Eddie Munson.’”

He could practically hear her groaning, begging him to come down from his inflated ego trip and realize that he was the same as any other person.

“I’m not the same as any other person though, Chris. You know what it’s like. Anyone who dates me gets put through the ringer. The paparazzi, the fans, the gossip rags, the YouTube channels, the Instagram stalkers. Steve’s life is so- small isn’t nice to say, but that’s what it is! He has this good little life that he’s carved out for himself and his brother in this small town world, and dating me would implode that. And it’s not like I can just walk away forever. I’m going to have to go back eventually. The band needs me, and the fans need me, and…and I don’t know who I am anymore if I’m not ‘The Eddie Munson’.”

He was someone Steve liked, he knew that much. They had been flirting pretty much the entire time but since his mini-freakout in the cafe, it had taken on a much more serious air, and their casual touches were starting to linger.

One of them was going to make a move soon, and Eddie needed to figure out what he wanted before that.

Well, not what he wanted. He knew what he wanted. He just didn’t know if that was the best option.

“I wish you were here. You’d know what to do…”

But she wasn’t. Chrissy wasn’t here. She was in the feeling of strumming a guitar, the sound of rain outside, the smell of Steve’s baking. Chrissy lived in a thousand different ways, she just wasn’t here anymore, and the closest Eddie could get to talking with her was sitting by her grave and talking to the air.

In other words, he couldn’t talk to her at all.

“I have to tell him first. I’ll tell him everything, and then I’ll let him decide if he still wants me. Today’s a good day for it anyway, right? It was supposed to be a special day. Now it’s just special for a different reason.”

With that Eddie stood up, stretching and rubbing at the spots that had gotten locked up from sitting on the ground too long. He put the flowers down where he had just been sitting and lighty ran his fingers over the top of her white marble headstone, reading the same inscription he had read a thousand different times.

Christiana “Chrissy” Cunningham

December 25th 1996- February 14th 2022

“And we wept that one so lovely should have a life so brief.”

Wayne had helped him pick it out. He was the one who suggested burying her here in the first place. Chrissy hadn’t had any family left but him and Wayne, and no one would ever look here to disturb her. They had a private funeral and everything, only the two of them and the rest of the band. Not another living soul knew where she was buried, and Eddie wanted to keep it that way.

After everything, Chrissy deserved a place to rest where no one would ever hurt her again.

Well, he wanted just one more person to know.

“When Steve knows everything, I’ll bring him here. Then you can give him your ‘Stamp of Approval’.” Eddie whispered, a soft smile flickering across his face as an unexpected gust of wind pressed against his back.

He didn’t believe in God, or the Devil, or any of the things the world tried to push, but he did believe in Chrissy. She lived, even if she wasn’t here, and when he was able to look past his own grief, he knew she wanted him to live too.

“Happy Not the Start of Tour Day,” Eddie called back towards her grave as he walked away. He was starving and only a certain man’s beignets would be enough to fill his belly right now.

And, like Eddie had called upon the God of Beignets himself, Steve was walking towards him just a few rows away, carrying a pink Claudia’s box. The naive part of Eddie was focusing on how cute Steve looked this morning, but the rest of him was instantly on guard.

How did Steve know he was here?

“I didn’t know you did deliveries,” Eddie called after he had strategically walked about a dozen gravestones away from Chrissy. Just minutes ago he had wanted to show Steve where she was, but now every red flag he had was lighting up.

Steve looked up when he heard Eddie’s voice, furrowing his brow and quirking his head to the side.

“Eddie?”

If he was putting on an act, then he was doing a very good job of being completely confused as to why Eddie was in the cemetery too.

“In the flesh,” Eddie said coolly, jamming his hands into his pockets and inching a little bit closer, still keeping a safe distance away. He had put his trust in Steve so far, but maybe that was a mistake. “What are you doing here?”

“What are you doing here?” Steve echoed, staying right where he was.

“I asked you first,” Eddie challenged.

“I’m uh, visiting someone,” Steve said after a hesitant pause, playing with the twine bow on the top of the box.

The hesitation was another red flag, but Steve’s body language was the thing that really set Eddie on edge. His shoulders were hunched, and it looked like he was trying to make himself small enough to disappear. Worst of all, his eyes were downcast, which meant Eddie couldn’t get a read on them.

Steve was an open book, but only when Eddie could actually see that book well enough to read it. Currently he could only get half the story, but it wasn’t a good half.

“I would hope you’re here to see someone. The only other explanation is that you’re stalking me,” Eddie said bluntly. There were only a few things to do with stalkers: Ignore them, which was a bad plan; Get a restraining order, which was a bad plan; Confront them, which was a bad plan.

There were only bad plans in this scenario and anxiety was starting to press down on Eddie’s chest, making it hard to breathe.

“Because you’re someone people are always stalking,” Steve said with a roll of his eyes. The casual bitchiness that Eddie usually loved was now a threat, and he bristled at the comment. By his count, Eddie had gone through at least twenty three stalkers, and those were just the ones that had been serious enough to merit intervention. He had no idea how many people were actually stalking him at any given time.

And if Steve was number twenty four, then Eddie might really just stop trusting people all together.

“Seriously, why are you here?” Eddie asked, trying his best to stay calm.

“Dustin had food poisoning yesterday, so we couldn’t come see her. I asked Heather to look after the store for me while I came to bring these. I don’t really like coming here, but Dustin is adamant that a sweet tooth is eternal, so we have to bring her treats,” Steve explained, holding up the box with an affectionate roll of his eyes.

That sealed the deal. It wasn’t often that Chrissy got on camera or took the spotlight, but she had been a frequent face on Eddie’s instagram, usually for food pics when they went out. He even had a story that was called ‘Chrissy’s Confectionaries’ just for all the candids he had of every dessert they had shared.

But how did they find her? How did they know she was here?

This was supposed to be a safe resting place. It was supposed to be sacred. Now it was destroyed the way everything was. There was nothing secret, nothing that didn’t belong to the world. This was supposed to be the one special place no one would ever bother her again.

“How do you find out where Chrissy is?!” Eddie demanded, stomping over and getting right in Steve’s face. Steve was pretty, and Eddie thought he was nice, but this was an absolute violation of trust and privacy, and he would not let Steve think it was okay just because his little brother wanted to do it.

If he even had a brother.

“Chrissy? Who’s- Eddie I…I’m here to visit my mom,” Steve stuttered out, grief coating every word in sticky black tar. He stepped back, clutching the box close to his chest with one hand and gesturing down to the headstone between them with the other.

It was a solid granite headstone, a soft red that stood out in the early morning sun. There were yellow tulips planted on either side of it along with a bunch of rocks, a few metal angels, and some tiny cat figurines sitting on the ledge. It was the words that caught Eddie’s eye though.

Claudia Marie Honore Henderson

November 11th 1979 - October 28th 2019

If pies were books,

Yours would be Shakespeare’s letters.

Eddie read it once, then twice, then a third time.

Still there. This was still real.

“Wow,” Eddie whispered, blowing out a harsh breath before letting out one incredulous laugh and pushing his hair away from his face. “I am a complete and total douchebag.”

A small smile broke through the hurt expression on Steve’s face and he gently nudged his shoulder against Eddie’s with silent forgiveness.

“Not complete and total, but I’ll give you two douchebag points,” Steve joked, lowering himself down to kneel on the grass in front of Claudia’s grave and patting the spot next to him, “You can share these with me to make it up.”

Eddie sat down quickly, crossing his legs so they wouldn’t bounce and looking at her grave again. There was nothing on Chrissy’s but the flowers he brought with him. Before, Eddie had thought it was kind of classy. The smooth blank white marble with nothing but the words he and Wayne had chosen.

Now it felt almost barren, empty, missing the homey touches that Claudia’s grave had. Claudia’s showed how well loved she was, personal things that still made her real. Chrissy’s was just empty.

“Not pie?” Eddie asked as Steve untied the string and opened the box to reveal three tiny brown cakes with dollops of whipped cream and drizzles of caramel sauce on top.

“She chose that quote, not me,” Steve replied, handing Eddie a napkin and a cake. He chose one for himself and put the last one in between the angels and the cat figurines.

Eddie bit into the dessert, automatically closing his eyes and savoring the flavor. It was spicy and sweet, ginger and brown sugar colliding on his tongue in an explosion of deliciousness. The caramel stuck to his lips, messy and oh so good.

It would be his favorite thing yet if Steve didn’t look so miserable.

“I never make pies anymore,” Steve murmured, not touching his own cake. He was staring off somewhere in the distance, lost where Eddie couldn’t seem to reach him. “They just don’t taste the same.”

Eddie knew that feeling. He had it every time he picked up a guitar now. He could play a song perfectly, hit every note at the exact moment he was supposed to, but it didn’t sound the way it should. Music was almost hollow now, a missing element that he couldn’t find no matter how much he practiced.

He briefly considered telling Steve, empathizing with the loss, sharing the secrets that were weighing him down.

“Henderson?” He asked instead, hoping that changing the subject would draw them both away from their thoughts.

“That’s um,” Steve trailed off, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth and staring down at his lap. Eddie’s heart ached for him and he briefly hated himself for the foot that had apparently taken up a permanent residence in his mouth.

“Steve, you don’t have to tell me anything, I shouldn’t have-”

“It’s okay, I want you to know.” Steve said softly, cutting Eddie off. He still didn’t look up, but some of the tension in his shoulders faded. “It’s a really long story though, so maybe another time?”

“Whenever you want,” Eddie offered, taking the leap and reaching over to take Steve’s hand. Steve looked up with glossy eyes, squeezing his fingers and brushing his thumb against the side of Eddie’s hand.

“And Chrissy?” Steve asked hesitantly.

Eddie could tell him. They could sit here for the whole morning talking back and forth, sharing those long stories. He had planned to tell Steve the truth today anyway. Now was the perfect time. He just had to open his mouth and start.

“Also a really long story,” Eddie sighed, mentally screaming at himself.

He was such a coward sometimes.

“Whenever you want,” Steve echoed, bringing their joined hands up and kissing the back of Eddie’s hand. It was a bold move, the boldest either of them had gotten so far, but it only cemented what they both already knew. Whatever was going on between them was more than just friendship, for both sides.

Eddie could pull away now, and maybe that would even be the smart thing to do. In the long run, they would both only get hurt by this, so maybe he should just stop it right here and now.

Instead, he scooted over so they were sitting leaned against each other, putting their hands in his lap and tapping a melody on Steve’s arm as he finally picked up his cake and began eating it.

Steve apparently didn’t talk to Claudia like Eddie talked to Chrissy. He just sat with his eyes shut, taking the moment to breathe deep and be present. Normally, Eddie hated silence, needing to fill it with music or words or just about anything, but this was peaceful, nice even. The sunshine that Chrissy now lived in kept them warm, and the breeze that held her spirit brushed past them, and Eddie could just hold the moment instead of needing to understand it.

He wasn’t sitting by her but he was close enough, and he had Steve, so things were okay.

“Let’s go back to the cafe, huh?” Steve said after a while, gently butting his head against Eddie’s. “I’ll make you a coffee.”

“I want a decaf nonfat white mocha with extra caramel chunks and oatmilk,” Eddie joked. Steve groaned, standing up and holding out a hand.

Every day there were at least three or four people that came in with absolutely ridiculous coffee orders, and every day Steve and Eddie would try and decide what the most outlandish one was. Eddie tried to get Steve to be grateful, because LA had about thirty or forty thousand people who had orders like that, but Steve always just gave him the stink eye and said that no one should be asking him for oatmilk in Hawkins, Indiana.

Sure, he had it, but it was the principle of the thing.

“Bye Claudia,” Steve said as they straightened up, “Me and Dustin are being safe. I promise.”

“Don’t worry he’s got me to protect him. Well, me to call 911 if anything goes wrong,” Eddie amended, giving the headstone a two fingered salute. Steve laughed his first real laugh of the day, shaking his head and rolling his eyes as he tugged Eddie away by their still connected hands.

They continued to hold hands for the entire walk from the cemetery to the cafe, chatting about nothing and everything in the way they always did. By the time they were turning the corner towards Claudia’s, both of them were extremely relaxed, free of any tension or stress that might have lingered if they went on their own.

“Hey! Eddie!”

Nevermind. Eddie was rigid as a board.

“Who’re they?” Steve asked, tilting his head to the side as he looked at the three men sitting at one of the tables in front of his cafe.

“No one,” Eddie blurted out, pulling his hand away from Steve’s and bouncing on his heels, filled to the brim with nervous energy, “On second thought I think I might skip coming today. And tomorrow. And maybe next week.”

“Eddie-”

Steve didn’t get a chance to say anything else before there was a body slamming directly into Eddie, the smell of Gareth’s cologne overwhelming his senses.

An unexpected hit of homesickness came right along with him and Eddie found himself holding onto Gareth in a death grip, burying his face in his oldest friend’s shoulder and shaking ever so slightly in his grip. Jeff and Frank quickly pushed themselves into the hug, and for the first time in months the part of Eddie’s heart that belonged to his bandmates quietly slotted back into its place.

“It’s been 84 years,” Gareth groaned after their way too long hug, holding onto Eddie’s upper arms and shaking him. “Never again man, never again. I can’t be stuck with these two sticks in the mud for that long. It’s been so boring.”

“What are you doing here?” Eddie asked for the second time that day, in much higher spirits than he had been the first time, “I told you guys not to try and find me.”

“Well maybe if you answered your phone every so often we wouldn’t have to go halfway across the country chasing you,” Jeff scolded lightly, Frank nodding sagely along with him.

“How did you even know where I was?” Eddie asked, wracking his brain. The answer immediately popped into his mind and Eddie’s eyes narrowed.

“Wayne,” He grumbled. Curse his big-hearted, too good, meddling, loving uncle.

“Eddie, we knew you would be here without him telling us,” Frank said with a roll of his eyes, “But when we dropped our stuff off at the house, he said to go to the bakery in town because the cute guy you’re obsessed with owns it.”

The other two broke into smirks, and all three turned to look at Steve with mischievous grins.

“I hate you guys,” Eddie said, blushing furiously and wishing that the ground would open up to swallow him whole.

“Obsessed, huh?” Steve said. His cheeks were dusted with a rosy rouge, but his eyes were locked onto Eddie’s, and he was wearing a very cute, very annoying, smug little smile.

“He is pretty cute,” Jeff said in mock appraisal.

“Cute enough to completely blow off a country wide-”

“Steve, these are my friends. Gareth, Jeff, and Frank,” Eddie said, cutting Gareth off before he could say anything else. “Guys, this is Steve, my…”

Eddie trailed off, unsure of how to end that sentence. Friend? Crush? Something more?

“Employer,” Steve decided for him, holding out his hand for the rest of the band to shake.

“Employer?!” Jeff practically shouted as Gareth took Stvee’s hand and began wrenching it up and down.

“You don’t pay me?” Eddie asked, just as stunned as the rest. Steve had just kissed his hand not even a full hour ago, and that was the word he chose to explain them?

Employer?!

“You sit in my cafe all day long eating and drinking for free. I think that I deserve at least a little manual labor in return,” Steve said in explanation, giving Eddie a full shit eating grin.

Oh. He was being messed with. Eddie snorted, holding back his laughter as he tried to give Steve a dirty look. Judging by the way Steve was slowly graduating to a full on beaming smile, he was failing pretty spectacularly.

“I am so confused,” Frank said from behind them. “Eddie, he does know that-”

“Well, Mr. Bossman,” Eddie quickly interjected, throwing his friends a look that told them to shut their mouths or face the consequences, “Would you pretty please feed my friends while we catch up a little bit?”

Steve, never one to do anything half-assed, brought out enough mini-quiches to feed an army, an entire tray of ginger cakes, and even some of Eddie’s favorite coconut cluster cookies. The rest of the band had apparently been traveling all night long, and they dug into the food with glee, praising Steve until the tips of his ears were red and he had to walk inside to ‘make coffee’ just to escape the flood of compliments.

The perfect time for Eddie to come clean.

“What do you guys think?” He asked, softly opening the question up to his best friends. They were the make or break now that Chrissy couldn’t be.

“He seems nice,” Frank said politely.

“He’s a great fucking cook,” Gareth said less politely, picking up the crumbs left on his plate. Jeff rolled his eyes and turned to Eddie.

“How long have you been dating?”

Great. They were jumping straight into the hard questions.

“We aren’t,” Eddie said slowly, making all three of them stop short and stare at him with increasingly incredulous looks.

“Well, I assumed the employer thing was a joke but now I have to ask,” Jeff said, sighing deeply before continuing, “Are you banging your boss?”

“No!” Eddie immediately shouted, shutting his mouth with a snap and shooting his gaze towards the inside of the cafe.

Steve was futzing around with something on the counter and either hadn’t heard Eddie’s shout or had ignored it, too used to Eddie’s tendency to be as loud as possible. The tip of his tongue was poking out of the corner of his mouth as he carefully placed caramel drizzle on some concoction he was preparing.

God, he looked so fucking delectable. Now that the thought of banging was there, he couldn’t escape it. The thought of what that tongue might do-

No. Nope. Stop.

Eddie was so weak.

“We’re not- I don’t- it’s not like that,” He finished weakly, groaning and letting his head rest on the table in front of him.

“Have you asked him out?” Gareth asked.

Eddie shook his head, keeping his forehead still pressed down against the metal. A brief pause from above him as the band had a silent conversation, and Frank spoke in a very hesitant tone.

“Does he know?”

‘Does he know’ was such a blank statement. Does he know you have feelings? Eddie was pretty sure he did. Does he know that you watched your best friend die? No. Does he know why you’re in Hawkins? No.

But Eddie knew what they were asking.

Does he know that you are ‘The Eddie Munson’?

He shook his head again ever so slightly.

“He doesn’t know you’re a world famous rockstar?!” Gareth burst out. Eddie’s head flew back up and he gave Gareth a death glare.

“Keep your voice down!” He hissed, looking back in the cafe. Steve was still by the counter, now ringing up a little old lady, giving her a gentle smile as he handed over a pretty pink box.

“Does he live under a rock?” Frank asked, staring at Steve through the window like he was from another planet.

“Be less obvious,” Eddie complained, rubbing at his temples. “He doesn’t live under a rock. He lives in Hawkins fucking Indiana and he hates social media. Steve barely even uses his Instagram, and that’s only to look at pictures of his best friend who’s traveling the world right now as a guitar player on some lesbian cruise.”

Remembering all that truly was a testament to how much Eddie liked Steve. He had never laid eyes on Robin Buckley, but he already knew she was Steve’s other half; she co-owned the cafe, she spoke five languages, and she played four instruments- one of which was guitar, hence the whole ‘running away for three months to play guitar on a lesbian cruise’.

Chrissy would have adored her.

“You have to tell him, Eddie,” Jeff said softly, giving Eddie a look. “He can’t find out from tabloids or paparazzi or something. It’s a miracle no one’s recognized you yet.”

“I know. I know. I’ve tried,” Eddie said, slightly desperate. He ran his fingers through his hair, pulling on the end of his curls. “I tried more than once, but every time it gets close I just-”

Tears pricked at the edges of his eyes, and the next breath he sucked in was unexpectedly shaky.

Fuck.

“If I tell him, then I have to tell him everything,” Eddie said, his voice breaking into a whisper halfway through, “and I can’t- I don’t know how-”

“That’s why we came here, even though we knew you didn’t want us,” Frank said, cutting off Eddie’s weak attempts at explaining himself.

“Because of Steve?” Eddie asked.

“Because of Chrissy,” Jeff clarified, making the lump in Eddie’s throat grow three times bigger. “Today was supposed to be the day.”

The day. The start of their big tour. The tour that was going to lead to a new album, that was going to get them that Grammy, that would put Corroded Coffin in the history books forever.

The tour that Eddie had completely screwed up.

“Guys… I’m sorry,” Eddie started, getting cut off by Jeff’s hand on his arm and Gareth shaking his head.

“Don’t start down that road, man. Once you let that monkey on your back, you’ll never get it off,” Frank said easily, spitting wisdom like it meant nothing to him. “She was your best friend.”

Best friend. What a stupid way to categorize Chrissy. Steve said Robin called him her platonic soulmate, which felt better, but not quite right. Steve just called Robin His Person. His Person, always in a way that you could physically feel the capitalization.

His Person.

Chrissy had been His Person.

“I can’t talk about her yet,” Eddie admitted quietly, feeling shame and smallness covering him like wings. “Hell, I can barely even say her fucking name.”

“You needed time. We were happy to give it to you,” Jeff said, pulling Eddie down off the cross he kept trying to nail himself to.

“But seriously, stop shutting us out. We miss her too,” Gareth tacked on, rubbing fruitlessly at his eyes. He had always been a sympathy crier, and even the hint of any of them breaking down sent him into tears. “We miss you, dude.”

Eddie had missed them too. He hadn’t realized it, but the entire time he had been in Hawkins, he had been looking for them. His bandmates had been with him since they were teens, all of them scared and unsure of the future, but so full of hope it hurt to look back and think about it. They had put their faith in him, and he put his trust in them, and they had made something amazing.

Something Eddie had pushed away the second he could, because he was so sure he didn’t deserve good things, so sure the universe would take them away anyway.

Maybe that was why he couldn’t tell Steve yet.

“And if you don’t lock this guy down, I’ll be missing his amazing goddamn quiches too,” Gareth said after they had all taken a second to cool down. He lifted the last one up and shoved it into his mouth in one bite, immediately coughing as he choked.

“Chrissy would want you to be happy, Eddie,” Jeff said softly as Frank pounded on Gareth’s back trying to dislodge the pastry. “If Steve is gonna make you happy, she would say go for it.”

“I know,” Eddie replied just as quietly. He had said the same thing to himself a dozen times, but hearing it from Jeff somehow made it even more real.

Speaking of Steve, he was walking over with a full tray of drinks.

“Alright I have one black coffee, one latte with a pump of hazelnut syrup and skim milk, and one iced matcha latte,” Steve rattled off as he put down drinks in front of Eddie’s bandmates. He paused after Jeff, giving Eddie a tricky little grin and putting down a colossal cup that was dripping whipped cream onto the saucer it was on.

“And for you, a decaf nonfat white mocha with extra caramel chunks and oatmilk,” Steve declared, both of them breaking into giggles at the sight of the monstrosity.

Just like that the weight that had been holding every single cell captive was gone, erased by the light that Steve brought with him everywhere he went.

“This is disgusting,” Eddie said after taking an experimental sip.

Steve slid into the open seat next to him, dipping his finger into the whipped cream and dabbing Eddie’s nose before licking it up. This led to an inevitable war of whipped cream till they were both sticky with caramel and laughing breathlessly, the rest of Corroded Coffin watching silently.

“Hey Steve,” Gareth said, catching the younger boy’s attention, “Wanna go on a date with Eddie tonight?”

It was like the very air stopped still.

“I’m sorry?” Steve asked, his voice raising up about five octaves. Eddie placed his palms flat on the table, giving his former best friend a triple layer death glare.

“Gareth!” Eddie hissed.

“You’re being a baby bitch about it,” He said, shrugging unapologetically and looking far too casual for the absolute chaos he was creating.

“Eddie thinks you're nice and hot,” Frank tacked on. Eddie let out what could only be described as a primal screech, mentally preparing to murder his bandmates right after Steve got up and ordered them all to leave his cafe and never return.

“He’s scared to make the first move, so we’re making it for him,” Jeff stated, driving the final nail into Eddie’s coffin. “Please go out with him. He’s a mess and he needs someone who can force him to eat a vegetable every once in a while.”

“Oh my god,” Eddie said quietly to himself, burying his face in his hands. He was going to have to throw himself into the Quarry, or let a semi run him over. There was no coming back from this. None.

“Eds?”

He didn’t want to look up. He just wanted to just stay right here until he actually turned to stone. Maybe he could. Maybe he just never needed to move again.

But he did look up, because it was Steve, and Eddie was a total goner for him.

“Are your friends fucking with me, or do you actually want to go on a date?” Steve asked shyly, looking at Eddie with those stupid big eyes that made him want to give Steve the entire goddamn world.

He couldn’t give him the whole world. That wasn’t possible. But, Eddie could give him the truth.

Or, he could give Steve a part of the truth, at least.

“I actually want to go on a date,” Eddie admitted, taking the leap. He wrapped a curl around his finger and chewed nervously on his ring, unable to look Steve in the eye. “But only if you want to, I mean.”

There was a full fifteen seconds of silence in which Eddie was sure he was going to lose his mind. Then a gentle hand pressing at his jaw, turning his head so he was looking Steve in the eye.

“Well, I have to check that Joyce can watch Dustin, but if it’s okay, why don’t you meet me at The Hawk tonight at 7:00. I’ll get the tickets if you buy the popcorn?” He offered, cheeks a deep red.

“Sounds good,” Eddie agreed breathlessly, feeling his heart attempt to leap straight out of his chest and into Steve’s hands.

“Then it’s a date,” Steve said, biting on his lip to try and hold back the huge smile trying to make its way onto his face. “I’m gonna get you a real coffee.”

Steve was up and gone in the blink of an eye, practically flying into the cafe and disappearing into the back despite all of the coffee supplies being right up front. Eddie watched him go, dazed and shocked as the rest of his bandmates shared victorious high fives and happy whoops.

“What just happened?!” Eddie practically screamed the second his brain came back online.

Tags: @dangdirtydemons @excaliburstark

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4littlefishies · 24 days

Text

The 36th Floor - The Mandarin

satoru gojo x suguru geto

warnings: Just in case anyone is sensitive to talk about throwing up, it is mentioned very briefly in this chapter! It's pretty short tho so don't worry.

wc: 6.9k

previous chapter here

note: link to story on ao3 at the bottom!

Wednesday and Thursday go by mostly with nothing of note happening. Suguru is on time Wednesday morning, and comes with a coffee for Shoko, like he had promised her the day before.

“Good job being on time today.” She teases as he passes by before he turns around and presents her with the drink over the wall of the cubicle. “Ooh, thank you!” She says, happy to have the drink that she was expecting.

“Nothing for your favorite trainer?” Gojo whines, causing Suguru to turn his chair around to face Satoru, whose head is visible over the top of the cubicle walls. Satoru has a big smile on his face, waiting to hear the response that Suguru will come back with.

“Yeah, I already got one for Haibara.” He jokes back, causing Satoru’s face to immediately feel like the surface of the sun with how hot it is. He quickly turns back to face his monitor and lets out an uncomfortable chuckle. “I’m just kidding Satoru, I just promised Shoko that I would get her a coffee yesterday morning, so this is me repaying her.” Suguru explains. Satoru smiles at himself, amused at how Suguru’s comment made him feel.

Calm down, Satoru, it was a joke. He thinks to himself as Suguru walks up to his cubicle. “Ready to start?” He asks, a smile on his face, his jacket draped over the back of his chair already.

Both Wednesday and Thursday training for Suguru goes by without any hitches. On Wednesday, Satoru finally asks the question he’s been thinking about asking since Monday.

“Did you want to walk to the cafe? Only if you were planning on going today.” Satoru says, pulling his jacket on. Suguru spins around from his own cubicle, pulling his hair out of the back of his jacket to allow it to flow freely after putting it back on.

“Hm?” Suguru hums, raising his eyebrows, not hearing Satoru’s question the first time.

Satoru clears his throat. “Yeah- did you want to walk to the cafe with me?” He asks. He’s extremely thankful that Shoko is already gone and not here to see this disaster of an interaction. “I was just about to leave, if you wanted to go?”

“Oh, yeah! Definitely!” Suguru says, putting two thumbs up. “Just let me grab my wallet and we can go.” He pulls open a draw before pulling out his wallet and slipping it into his back pocket. “Alright,” He says, stepping towards Satoru. “Ready?”

Satoru nods his head and smiles, leading the way out of the office and into the long hallway that leads to the elevators.

The elevator ride is quiet between them as there are a few other people in there, presumably also heading to lunch somewhere. Satoru and Suguru make eye contact and suddenly are nearly unable to contain themselves. Saotru pulls both of his lips in between his teeth in order to contain his laughter, while Suguru pops his hand over his mouth, trying to be quiet.

The elevator finally reaches the ground floor and everyone files out into the lobby, leaving Suguru and Satoru in the dust. “What was so funny?” Suguru asks, a calm laugh as they walk off of the elevator and into the lobby, towards the front doors.

“I don’t even know,” Satoru bursts out laughing. “But it’s always impossible not to laugh in situations like that, you know?” He continues on, still laughing. Suguru smiles as the white haired man, laughing as they walk through the busy lobby and finally out onto the busy sidewalk. Satoru can’t believe that he actually asked him, finally. It’s asking a coworker to lunch, it’s not much to be amazed at. Satoru smiles to himself at the view of Suguru walking next to him. Whether it’s by accident or not, both of their hands brush slightly as they sway with the walking rhythm the two have. Satoru immediately shoves his hand into his pocket, not wanting to make Suguru uncomfortable in any way.

Suguru notices and puts his hands into his pockets as well. “So how did you find this place?” Satoru asks, breaking the short silence as they approach the cafe.

“Well honestly I just started walking and I saw a sign.” He responded. Satoru smiled at his answer, no matter how simple, he just wanted to hear anything Suguru had to say. They quickly make it to the front door where Suguru grabs the handle, opening it to allow Satoru to walk inside. He smiles a silent thank you at Suguru, the tops of his ears turning red and his face getting hot at having the door opened for him.

The two of them order and take their food back to the back corner and sit in the same seats as they did the day before. “Okay, right off the bat, I’m getting spoiled rich kid from that guy over there.” Satoru says, motioning to a man sitting across the cafe, typing away on his computer.

Suguru turns his head subtly around to see the man who Satoru is talking about and has to suppress a laugh as he turns back around to face Satoru, the two of them nearly cackling over the assumptions that they make during their lunch break before they have to make the walk back to the office.

Both Thursday and Friday go similarly in regards to Suguru’s training, as well as the two men walking to the cafe for lunch. They like to sit in the back corner and people watch for as long as they can until they have to go back to work. On the walk back after their lunch on Friday, an idea pops into Satoru’s head.

“Hey! Uh, if you don’t have plans after work, Shoko and I get drinks every Friday.” He explains, continuing to look in front of him as he walks. “You should come… If you want. Think of it as celebrating being officially done with training. Utahime might come too.” Satoru says, trying to sound more nonchalant about the invitation.

Suguru’s eyes go wide, not expecting the invitation. “Oh… Yeah, definitely! I’d love to.” He says, sounding slightly flustered.

“Nice! Just meet Shoko and I after you’re done for the day with Yu and we can all head over there together.” Satoru explains, opening the front door to the building for Suguru, similarly to how he opened the cafe door for him. Satoru smiles at the ground as Suguru walks in front of him, suddenly very excited for the work day to be over.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Shoko! Is Utahime coming?” Satoru whines out, spinning in his chair, waiting for Suguru to come back to his desk so that they could all leave together.

“No,” Shoko calls out, not looking up from her phone. “She said, and I quote, ‘I would go, but I don’t want to associate myself with that snow-haired idiot outside of work unless I am required to.’” She reads off the text message from Utahime on her phone.

“Ouch.” Suguru says as he rounds the corner. “That’s rough.” He says, chuckling. Satoru jumps up out of his seat, suddenly full of energy at the sight of Suguru.

“Well, normally, it’s no outsiders allowed anyways, but we bent the rules a little for you.” Satoru says, joking to Suguru.

“You mean to say that you bent the rules?” Shoko calls out from her spot at her desk. Satoru feels his face go hot as Suguru looks over at him and smiles his normal soft and gentle smile. It makes Satoru melt, but he can’t say anything about it to anyone.

“Should we get going?” Satoru says, looking down at his watch and breaking the silence.

“We going to Mandarin?” Shoko asks, pulling on her coat and grabbing her bag.

“If you’re okay with that?” Satoru adds, looking over at Suguru. Suguru nods his head yes as he looks between the two in front of him. Satoru smiles and starts towards the front doors.

“Let’s go then! I need a drink.” Satoru says, heading quickly around the corner and into the hallway. Suguru follows closely behind him and Shoko trails behind, shouting after him.

“You don’t even drink!” She shouts as she rounds the corner. “Unless you’re gonna actually drink tonight.” Satoru turns around, starting to walk backwards with his hands in his jacket pocket.

“Hey, a drink with no alcohol is still a drink.” He shoots back, scrunching his nose back at Shoko, Suguru watching him do so before turning back to look at Shoko. Satoru doesn’t see her roll her eyes, but he does hear Suguru let out a laugh. He smiles to himself at the sound of it. After reaching the front doors and getting out into the hallway, they make their way towards the elevators.

Satoru presses the down button with a long slender finger before putting his hands back in his pockets and turning around to face the other two. Suguru brushes his hair back over his shoulders as he comes to a stop next to Satoru, waiting for the familiar elevator ding before the doors open to a completely empty elevator.

“Oh, nice!” Shoko calls out as she follows the two into the elevator. Suguru presses the L button and the doors close. “What are you guy’s gonna get?”

“I’ve been thinking scotch.” Suguru answers, earning a look from Satoru, who raises his eyebrows, seeming to be surprised by his answer.

“How very sophisticated of you, Suguru.” Satoru bravely teases as the elevator starts to move. Suguru smiles and shakes his head.

“Maybe if you’re 17.” Shoko buts in. Satoru shoots her a fake glare and she sticks her tongue out at him, Suguru smiling at their sibling-like dynamic. Satoru shakes his head and smiles down at the floor.

The elevator quickly reaches the lobby and the three of them are quickly out and heading towards the front doors of the building. “So where is this Mandarin?” Suguru asks, following the lead that Satoru and Shoko are very urgently taking. Satoru pushes open the door and is quickly out onto the sidewalk.

“We have to get on the train and go towards where Shoko lives.” Satoru calls out, slowing down slightly to allow Suguru to catch up. He smiles, now walking in between Shoko and Suguru as they head towards the train station. “It’s not too far, but it’s a lot faster to just take the train.” He continues explaining, looking slightly over at Suguru as he walks, trying to also focus on where he is going.

Thankfully, the train is pulling up to the station just as the three of them make it to the platform. “Perfect timing!” Satoru shouts out, turning back to look at Suguru with a smile on his face. Suguru smiles back at him and shakes his head. The three of them make it onto the quarter-full train car and easily find seats. Satoru sits down, Suguru taking the seat next to him, causing Satoru’s heart to flutter in his chest. Shoko chooses to sit across the aisle from them, facing the two men.

“You know, Gojo, you’re usually much more annoying.” Shoko says as the train starts to move.

Satoru’s mouth falls open at her sudden comment and he gasps dramatically, bringing a hand to his chest to clutch his metaphorical pearls. “I am not!” Satoru shoots back in a defensive tone.

The rest of the short train ride consists of more of Shoko and Satoru arguing like siblings while Suguru smiles and laughs when Shoko teases Satoru. Their stop quickly approaches, causing Shoko and Satoru to stand up, followed by Suguru.

“So do you guys go to the same place every week?” Suguru asks Satoru as they walk off the platform and up a short set of stairs. They quickly reached the top of the stairs and were back onto a much busier sidewalk.

“Not always, but we have a few places we prefer over others. Mandarin is one of our favorites.” Satoru explains, taking long strides in time with Suguru, seeming almost reflexive. “It’s not too crazy and Shoko likes that the drinks are relatively cheap.” He continues explaining, Suguru listening intently as if he would be tested on the information later.

“Hey idiots!” Shoko calls out, finally loud enough for the two to hear over their conversation. They stop and turn around, seeing Shoko about half a block behind them.

“Why are you calling us idiots?” Suguru questions as Shoko hurriedly walks towards them.

“Why did you turn around?” She shoots back.

“Touché.” He says with narrowed eyes as she finally catches back up to the two of them.

“You guys are too tall, you walk too fast for me.” She criticizes as they start to walk again, the sign coming into view, a neon orange slice on the front of the building.

“Isn’t it cool?” Satoru says, looking at Suguru with amazement, excited to see his reaction.

Surugu nods his head as they get closer to the bar with the neon sign reading The Mandarin in the shape of an orange slice. “Yeah, it is really cool, Satoru.” Suguru says, Satoru’s name rolling like honey off of his tongue. Satoru is unable to contain his smile as they walk up to the front door. The security guard at the front checks their IDs and they head inside.

“Okay, I need a drink now.” Shoko says, pointing towards the bar. She takes the lead this time and Satoru and Suguru trail behind. By the time they make it up to the bar with her, she’s already talking to the bartender behind the bar, who has a smile on her face. “Geto, this is Hana, she’s our favorite bartender.” Shoko says, happily, earning a giggle from Hana behind the bar. “Okay, can i just do a gin martini, and, I’ll let these guys tell you what they want themselves.

Suguru steps up to where Shoko previously stood and leans over slightly. “Do you guys have Ballantines?” He asks, his voice slightly raised to make up for the chatter and background music of the busy bar. Hana shakes her head yes and Suguru continues on. “Can I just get that on the rocks please?” He says with a smile. Hana nods at him with a smile before finally looking over to Satoru.

Listening to Suguru order his drink, Satoru decides that he would also like his drink to be on the rocks. “Can I just get a Shirley Temple with extra grenadine and extra cherries?” He says, earning a look from both Shoko and Suguru. “Oh and can I get it on the rocks as well?” He adds, earning a giggle from Hana and a chuckle from Suguru as he shakes his head in disbelief.

“It’s like going out with a child.” Shoko says, shaking her head and crossing her arms.

“I’m sorry I like it sweet, Shoko! What’s wrong with that?” He asks, throwing his hands up in the air.

Hana quickly has the three drinks made and Satoru hands his card to her to keep on file. “If you think you’re paying for all of us you’re crazy.” Suguru says as Satoru turns to walk away from the bar. Shoko lightly elbows him in the side and side eyes him.

“Shut up, Suguru.” She says through gritted teeth. Satoru does nothing but smile at the two of them.

“It’s my treat tonight.” Satoru says with a smile. “Get as much as you want, I’ve got it.” Suguru looks at him like he’s crazy as Shoko takes a large sip from her drink and lets out a quiet cheer.

“You can’t be serious Satoru, come on, I can get my own, really.” Suguru says, trying to convince Satoru to change his mind.

“Like I told you, this is because you’re done training, Suguru. Just let me buy your drinks. You can get mine next time if it makes you feel better?” Satoru says, raising his eyebrows at Suguru, hoping he’ll take the compromise. He takes a deep breath and furrows his eyebrows for a moment, looking like he was thinking about it.

“Fine. Deal.” He says, shaking his head. Satoru sticks his hand out to shake and they shake hands for only the second time since their first meeting. Suguru’s hands are much warmer than Satoru’s icy cold ones. He speaks up as soon as they touch and his fingers wrap around Satoru’s hand. “Holy shit, your hands are freezing!” He says, grabbing Satoru’s hand with both hands now, completely forgetting about the handshake. Satoru is unable to do anything for a second at the feeling of Suguru trying to warm up his hand in his large warm ones.

Satoru’s ears grow hot as Suguru holds onto his hand until it’s warmer than it was a few seconds earlier. “Thank you.” Satoru says with a smile as Suguru lets go of Satoru’s now much warmer hand.

“Sorry.” He says, his eyes flickering nervously down at Satoru’s hand and back up to his face.

“There’s nothing to be sorry for!” Satoru says as he brings the straw in his glass to his lips. He smiles as Suguru looks to calm down slightly at his response. Satoru takes a sip of his disgustingly sweet drink and lets out an obnoxious sigh. “This is super good, you want to try?” He asks Suguru. Surugu politely declines.

“I think I’ll stick with my scotch, but thank you.” He says in a polite tone. Satoru smiles at him. Shoko was back at the bar, talking to Hana and seemingly already getting her second drink of the night. “It looks like she’s really taking you up on your offer though.” Suguru points out to Satoru, gesturing over at Shoko as Hana hands her a drink.

Satoru smiles at the sight. “As long as everybody has fun, I’m okay with it.” He says,taking another sip from his drink. “Should we sit down?” Satoru asks, pointing out a table against the wall. Suguru nods his head and Satoru leads the way back to the table and takes a seat. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Satoru asks as they settle into their seats, a mischievous smile on his face.

“That the guy at the end of the bar is definitely into the girl that’s next to him but will never say anything to her?” Suguru responds back, the smile on Satoru’s face growing even wider.

“You read my mind, Suguru.” Satoru says. Suguru smiles back across the table at him when Shoko joins back up with them.

“Guys, stop ditching me to hang out with each other.” She says, sitting down at the end of the table and setting her drink on the table. Satoru and Suguru make quick eye contact with each other before Satoru speaks up.

“You were the one that left us to go get another drink!” Satoru replies back.

“Whatever.” She says, blowing off his come back. The three sit in silence for a moment until Shoko pipes up again. “So how are you liking the city so far?” She asks, looking over at Suguru.

Suguru raises his eyebrows trying quickly to think of an answer. “It’s definitely different from home, but also the same in a lot of ways. My apartment isn’t very homey yet, but it’ll get there eventually. But I’m really liking it so far.” He finishes, flicking a glance at Satoru as the words leave his mouth. Satoru stares at Suguru as he talks, looking over the features of his face. His eyes, his nose, his hair and how it hangs in his face. Suguru’s face is leaned in the palm of his hand propped up on his elbow as he focuses on Shoko and her question. Satoru smiles as he looks between the two, continuing to look over Suguru’s features.

“I need another drink.” Shoko says, putting her empty glass down on the table.

“Don’t you think you should slow down?” Satoru asks, watching her stand up from the table. Suguru takes a sip of his drink, trying not to get caught in between whatever is about to happen.

“Why? I don’t feel a thing yet, this will only be my fourth.” She says, looking between the two of her friends. Suguru chokes and starts coughing at the sound of that.

“Your fourth?” He asks, patting his chest after coughing. Satoru can’t help but snicker as it happens. Shoko shakes her head yes with a wide smile on her face. “I don’t know how you do it.” Suguru continues on, shaking his head. She turns around and makes her way back up to the bar again and Suguru turns his attention back to Satoru. “She’s crazy.” He says, pointing with his thumb towards Shoko.

Satoru chuckles and looks over in her direction before looking back at Suguru. “You’re just now figuring that out?” He teases, a smile on his face.

“I guess not, no.” He responds with a light laugh. Music to my ears, Satoru thinks before looking down at his now empty glass.

“I’m actually gonna go get one more, you want me to get you one of those?” He asks, pointing towards Suguru’s glass.

“I’m good,” He says, shaking his head. “Thank you, though.” Suguru adds, his smile and his eyes with that familiar softened look in them, making it hard for Satoru not to melt into a puddle on the floor.

“I’ll be right back.” Satoru chirps out as he stands up from the table and quickly makes his way over to the bar. Hana is busy with another customer, so he waits with Shoko as she sips on her fourth drink of the night.

“Getting another one?” Shoko asks, raising her eyebrows at Satoru and his glass of ice and cherry stems.

“Obviously.” Satoru replies dramatically. Shoko sips on her drink and Satoru looks over towards their table, only to see Suguru already looking in their direction. He quickly averts his eyes though, and Satoru does the same, feeling a blush creep up onto his cheeks and the tops of his ears. He wasn’t looking at me, right? Satoru tries to keep his cool as Hana finally makes her way back to him.

“Same thing?” She points at him, eyebrows raised in question.

“Yes please!” He shouts over the ambient noise surrounding them. She smiles and begins making his second drink. Satoru turns over to Shoko whose eyes are locked on the tv that’s mounted behind the bar, her straw in her mouth, mindlessly sipping on an empty glass. How? Satoru shakes his head with a grin. “Hey.” He calls out, trying to get her attention. He eventually has to tap her on the shoulder to get her attention away from the tv, playing nothing more than the news, subtitles rolling underneath.

“What?” She answers, sounding slightly annoyed that he took her attention away from what she was focused on. Satoru breathes out through his nose and continues on, glancing back over towards Suguru who is now scrolling on his phone.

“How come you never mentioned Suguru?”

“So I have to tell you about all my other friends?” She hits back sassily.

“No- you know that’s not what I'm saying.” He tries to clear it up. “Forget I asked.” He adds in, quietly. Shoko takes a breath, about to speak when Hana places Satoru’s new drink down in front of him with a smile. “Thank you.” He says, quietly with a smile.

Shoko clicks her tongue as she’s just about to speak up. “My parents have been friends with his parents since way before both of us were born. He’s almost like a cousin? In a way?” She explains, trying her best, somehow, she also now has a fresh drink that Satoru did not see come from anywhere. How does she do that? He nods at the response, waiting to see if she’ll continue.

“Let’s go back to Geto!” She says, suddenly changing the subject. Satoru sighs as he watches her slightly stumble as she starts heading back towards the table. He follows closely behind as they walk through the maze of people until they make it back to the table. Suguru looks up as they approach.

“More drinks?” He asks, wide eyed looking at Satoru, but also over at Shoko. Shoko doesn’t seem to hear it and sits down with her drink in hand. Satoru smiles down at Suguru and he swears he feels his eye twitch.

“Yep.” He says in a sarcastic voice, faking a giant smile on his face as he sits back down in his original spot. He puts his hand up to hide what he’s saying from Shoko. “This one’s gonna be a problem.” He whisper-yells to Suguru who’s laughing from his side of the table, still leaning his chin in his palm. Satoru puts down his hand and can’t help but smile for real at the sound of that laugh. Put it in headphones and I’ll listen to it forever.

Time quickly passes and 8pm turns into 11pm and into 1am. Satoru is on his sixth Shirley temple, but he stopped counting after two. Suguru stopped after 10 o'clock, and Shoko is all but blacked out.

“We need to take her home.” Suguru says to Satoru. The two of them look over to see Shoko talking to a stranger to try to get them to buy her a drink. “I told Hana not to give her anymore so now she’s trying to get other people to buy her drinks.” Satoru shakes his head as he watches Suguru speak.

“Her apartment isn’t too far of a walk from here, thankfully.” Satoru says as the two start to make their way towards their too-drunk friend. Suguru makes sure to grab Shoko’s bag on his way out.

“Good because I don’t feel like she’s going to make this easy, is she?” Suguru asks as the two get closer to Shoko.

Satoru chuckles and shakes his head as they finally approach her. “Only if we’re lucky. Hey,” He says, tapping Shoko on the shoulder, causing her to whip her head around. “Come on, we’re taking you home.”

“Oh my God, Gojo! Where have you been?” She says, ignoring what he just told her. Suguru starts to try to move her towards the front door, and thankfully, her legs move without much thought. “Why are we leaving?” She whines, continuing to follow Satoru towards the front door, Suguru following closely behind.

“It’s late, and you’re absolutely trashed.” Suguru says as they finally make it to the front door. The cool air hits their faces and it’s a shocking change from the warm air of the bar they’ve been in all night.

“It’s not that late.” She argues, crossing her arms, but continuing to walk.

“Shoko, it’s after 1am. That’s late.” Satoru quickly defends Suguru. She pouts and furrows her eyebrows.

“Can one of you carry me?” She suddenly whines out. The three of them stop, Satoru turning around to immediately make eye contact with Suguru. It felt like they could read each other's minds in that moment if they had tried hard enough.

Suguru sighs and turns around, slightly crouching down to allow Shoko to crawl onto his back and grab onto his shoulders. She giggles excitedly as Suguru stands back up and grabs onto her legs to hold her up. Satoru smiles as he watches the two of them, Suguru walking with Shoko like a backpack. He sticks his hands in his pockets before pulling out his phone and snapping a quick picture, wanting to remember the moment. He doesn’t notice, but Suguru sees him snap the picture and has to hide the blush making its way onto his face and the uncontrollable smile.

“Go left here.” Satoru calls out. “Then her building is right there.” He notices that Shoko hasn’t said anything in a while and is resting with her cheek on the back of Suguru’s shoulder. He smiles at the sight. “She’s asleep.” He says, walking with his hands in his pockets. Suguru can’t help but chuckle.

“Of course she is.” He says as they approach the front door of the building. Satoru opens the door for Suguru whose hands are currently full. “Thanks.” He breathes out. Satoru runs up ahead once through the door and presses the elevator button. Thankfully, the elevator comes quickly and the doors open to an empty elevator. Once inside Satoru clicks the button for the 14th floor. He looks down into Shoko’s bag that he’s holding for her house keys. He quickly locates them.

“Good thing these are in here.” He says, holding them up as the elevator reaches her floor. Suguru smiles in response.

“That definitely would’ve been a bad time.” He says, the doors opening to a wall with a mural and the number 14 painted on it. “I’m following you.” Suguru says, waiting for Satoru to lead the way.

He steps out and takes an immediate left and thankfully, Shoko lives just a few doors down, so the walk is short. “I wonder if Kai will say hello to us.” Satoru says, excitedly looking over his shoulder at Suguru as he puts the key into the lock and turns the door handle. He pushes open the door, walking inside and making sure to hold it open for Suguru to follow him inside.

“Who’s that?” Suguru asks quietly, stepping into the dark apartment. Satoru flicks on a lamp and turns on the light in the kitchen.

“Shoko’s cat!” Satoru exclaims, whipping his head around to look at Suguru, causing a chuckle from him. “Maybe put her on the couch for now?” Satoru tries to help, but he hears a grumble from Suguru’s back.

“What was that?” Suguru asks, not able to understand what she’s saying with her face smushed into the back of his shoulder.

“Baf-rm.” Is all he can make out.

“Bathroom!” Satoru calls out, realizing what means is coming next. Suguru’s eyes widen as he turns around, but he realizes that he doesn't know which door leads to the bathroom. He starts to panic.

“Which one?!” Suguru shouts, knowing that time is running out.

“That one! That one!” Satoru shouts, pointing to the first door down the hallway. They scramble to get the door open and carefully get Shoko off of Suguru’s back and in front of the toilet. To both Satoru and Suguru’s relief, they made it in time and the only place Shoko gets sick is into the toilet.

Satoru steps out, not wanting to see it, but Suguru stays in the bathroom as Shoko kneels in front of the toilet for the next fifteen minutes, regretting drinking so much more than she would on a normal night.

“Let’s try to remember this for next time so you can listen to me when I tell you to slow down a little, yeah?” Satoru says, peeking in from where he’s sitting in Shoko’s hallway while Suguru leans against the sink, making sure that she’s still alright. She lifts up a middle finger behind her as her head hands above the bowl.

“Love you too!” He says with a smile before looking up at Suguru, and meeting eyes with him for a fraction of a second. Suguru hands Shoko a glass of water and she finally decides that she feels okay enough to make it to her bed. Suguru holds out his arm to her as she stands up. Satoru holds out his arm for support on her other side as they come out of the bathroom and walk towards Shoko’s bedroom. The three quickly make it to her room where Satoru pulls back the blankets so that Shoko can climb in. She lets go of her hold on Suguru and climbs into her bed, a sigh of relief as her head hits the pillow.

“You gonna be okay?” Satoru asks in a sweet voice from where he’s standing in her doorway. Suguru stands up as she replies with a simple mhm with her face already shoved into the pillow.

Suguru turns back to look at Satoru and Satoru nods his head, trying to assure him that she’d be fine. They quietly back out of her room and close the door before making their way back to her living room and taking a seat on the couch.

“Do you actually think she’s gonna be fine?” He asks, still obviously worried about their very drunk friend. Satoru lets out a breathy laugh and shakes his head.

“If you think this is bad, just wait until the holiday party next month.” Satoru says, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees, rubbing his hands together slowly. Suguru watches Satoru as he does so, taking a deep breath through his nose, trying to think of things other than how good Satoru looked in this moment and definitely not about how much he wanted to grab his face and just kiss him.

“Um- I hate to do this, but I really have to get home and feed my cat.” Satoru says, breaking Suguru away from his thoughts.

“That’s alright! I was planning on staying here anyway to make sure that she’s okay.” Suguru says, leaning back on the couch and looking forward to the white haired man in front of him. Satoru turns his head to look at Suguru for a moment, a playful look on his face.

“Let me give you my number,” He says, sitting up, no longer leaning on his knees. Satoru’s heart feels like it’s going to beat out of his chest. Suguru stares at him, a blank surprised look on his face for a moment before he pulls his phone out of his pocket.

“Uh- yeah!” He stutters, nervously. Satoru smiles to himself, surprised that he was able to just say it outright like that. We’ve known each other for a week, I’d say that we’re friends. Having each other’s numbers is normal! Satoru holds onto Suguru’s phone carefully once he hands it to him. Satoru makes sure to check it over a couple times to ensure his number is correct. He hands it back to Suguru and he reads it to Satoru.

“Perfect!” Satoru confirms. Suguru saves his number into his phone and slides it back into his pocket before both of them stand up. “You’re a really good friend, Suguru. Shoko is lucky to have you” Satoru says, smiling back at Suguru as they stroll towards the front door. Sugaru smiles back at him, unsure of what to say, other than a soft “thank you.”

Satoru pulls open the door and steps out into the hallway. “Do you want me to walk you down? I can walk to the station with you if you want?” Suguru suggests, not wanting Satoru to have to walk by himself, but also not wanting him to leave yet. He’s just being nice, Satoru tells himself

“I would, but I actually ordered an uber like 10 minutes ago and it’s just now getting here!” He says, slowly migrating towards the elevator, but not wanting to leave Suguru just yet. Suguru stands in Shoko’s doorway with his hands in his pockets.

“Like I said, I gotta get home to Shiro, but call or text me if you need anything or anything happens, okay?” Suguru nods his head yes before Satoru smiles at him and backs up into the elevator, disappearing from Suguru’s view. Satoru quickly makes it down to the lobby and out onto the street where his uber driver is waiting. The drive is short, but Satoru makes sure to chat with the driver. He loved getting to meet and talk to and learn about new people every day, so he would talk to anyone that would talk to him.

‘Have a good night!” Satoru calls out to the driver as he closes the door behind him, now standing in front of his apartment building. He quickly makes his way into the desolate lobby and into the waiting empty elevator. He clicks the button for the 36th floor and hums along to a song playing quietly through the speakers, waiting for the short ride to be over.

“Thirty Six.” The automated voice says as the doors open. Satoru pulls his keys out of his pocket and picks out the one that goes to his front door. He turns the handle and pushes open the door, revealing a dark apartment, only lit by the lights from the streets below. He turns on the main lamp in the living room and as he does so, Shiro stretches from her place on the couch with a yawn.

“Hi Shi!” Satoru says, looking down at the white puffball that’s now jumping off the couch and following him into the kitchen. When he pulls the half can of wet food from this morning out of the fridge, she starts meowing louder, knowing that she’s getting food. “I know, I know, I’m sorry I’m home so late, Su-Shi.” He coos at her using one of his many nicknames he had for her. He makes sure to sprinkle a couple extra treats in her bowl before he sets it down in its normal spot, Shiro immediately devouring it. As he’s washing his hands and turning off the living room lamp, his phone starts ringing from his pocket.

He pulls it out and stares at the number on his screen, a number not saved in his phone. It can’t be. He thinks to himself. He lets it ring for a couple more times before he finally decides that he’s going to answer it. He presses the green button and holds it up to his ear. “Hello?” He asks, unsure if it’s Suguru calling or another random number.

“Satoru?” The familiar voice asks. A giant smile makes its way across Satoru’s face as he pulls the phone away from his ear and puts it on speaker, turning off the last light and heading into his bedroom.

“Suguru?”The smile was apparent in his voice. He hears Suguru chuckle through the phone and his smile grows even bigger. “Is everything alright? Did something happen?” Satoru asks, suddenly remembering that he’s with Shoko. Why else would he be calling? He stops at the foot of his bed, waiting for Suguru to respond.

He doesn’t hear anything but a light chuckle and a deep breath from Suguru before he starts. “Shoko’s fine, I just- I just wanted to make sure the number worked.” He says with a certain shakiness to his voice that Satoru wasn’t able to fully pick up on through the phone.

Satoru smiles uncontrollably to himself. “It definitely works.” He says, earning another tired chuckle from Suguru. “You should get some rest Suguru, you sound tired. Shoko will be okay.” Satoru says, continuing on with his routine, shedding off his layers and turning off the lamp in the corner. He steps over to the armchair by the window and takes a seat, listening to Suguru’s voice coming through the speaker of his phone, filling his room which is otherwise silent.

“You’re right, you’re right. Did you make it home alright?” Suguru asks and Satoru swears his heart skips a beat.

“Yeah, Shiro was pretty mad at me though. I deserve it though.”

“Yeah, you do.” Suguru teases back, knowing how Satoru will react.

“Hey!” Satoru calls out, quietly, but expressively. Suguru lets out one last laugh that sounds exhausted. “Okay, go to bed.” Satoru says. He gets up out of his arm chair and climbs under his covers into his bed, his head sinking into the pillows. “You sound like you’re dead.”

“Yes sir.” Suguru says in a tired gravelly voice which immediately makes Satoru’s face turn hot and his cheeks turn red. The line is quiet for a few seconds with nothing but the sound of the other’s breathing coming softly through the speaker. Suguru finally speaks up, on the verge of sleep. “Goodnight, Satoru.” He says with the sweetest voice Satoru swears he’s ever heard. Say it again, please say it again. He begs in his head, wanting to hear his voice one more time.

“Goodnight Suguru.” He finally says back into the silence of his bedroom. The pillows make a quiet noise as he turns his head to look at his phone screen, seeing the call still going.

“Goodnight Satoru.” Suguru repeats, even softer this time. Satoru stares up at the ceiling, feeling like his head is going to explode. What is happening right now? He doesn't know what to do, so he says it again.

“Goodnight Suguru.” Satoru says, also more quietly this time, as if someone else might hear it. He smiles, clutching his phone hard in his hand, not knowing how else to react.

“Goodnight Satoru.” He whispers through the phone, just barely audible, and before Satoru is able to respond, Suguru hangs up the call. Satoru continues staring up at the ceiling, eyes wide. A smile that is, at this point, painfully wide is painted across his face.

“How the fuck am i supposed to go to sleep after that? Satoru says into the silence of his bedroom, nothing to answer him except for the sound of traffic on the streets down below.

chapter 4

#satosugu #stsg #gojo satoru #satoru gojo #geto suguru #suguru geto #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #office au #4littlefishies #the 36th floor

16 notes · View notes

cqsuanla · 3 months

Text

My little fucked up OCs which started as a dark nat au LMAO here’s another. Expect me to disappear again 😘

Tw: violence, hints of stockholm syndrome, cigs

“Hi.”

You rouse, blinking up at the static your punisher calls constellations.

She leans over you like an eclipse and waves a tightly bound bundle of grapes over you. “Hungry?”

You clear your throat with a nod. “Y-Yeah. Thirsty too.”

A happy hum. She conjures up a vase of water from somewhere. “Open up, honey.”

You do so, but not without a quick glance downward to the sword wedged between your rib cage. Yep. Still there.

She feeds you with an almost adorable amount of concentration. Adorable were it not for the fact that she had impaled you on some piece of shit antique and left you to rot for a day.

“Can I-” She shoves a grape between your teeth and you dutifully chew and swallow before beginning again: “Can I go home now?”

Home being anywhere but here. The big ugly house she lives in and, you suppose, also you now. Or—a pipe dream, really—home in the distant, clouded lands of your maker. Tabletops full of power tools, blue-papered designs you can’t even fathom. The smell of life and movement, and a view of spilled light, pinpricks of stars. Oh, stars.

You glare up at the static.

She winces at that, cricking her head back in an unnatural way. “Still not right? Damn. What about now?”

The sky suddenly sharpens up as if she had clicked the Smart Sharpen button in Photoshop. “Forget it. Take the fucking sword out.”

Now, she pouts.

“Sorry,” you say automatically, clenching your eyes shut. You feel like you’re made of wax. Maybe you are. Maybe she did that while you were asleep.

A cold hand cards through your hair, nails scraping pleasantly at your scalp. “Forgiven,” she sings mildly—it is quite literally music to your ears. She thinks she’s funny for things like that. “I’ll take you home in a couple more hours. How about that?”

“Hasn’t he seen enough?” And you will freely admit you’re beginning to sound desperate. You can’t even feel the sword. You’re really just going a little stir crazy. “Isn’t this punishment enough?”

She slants you a look. The whole point of this shit is that it’s never goddamn enough. She’s said this to you countless times and you never seem to get it.

“Could I have a smoke, at least?” you finally grumble out.

A long, thin line of tobacco wrapped in delicate pink paper. Blueish smoke spirals away from the tip.

“Come on,” you groan, “enough of this old timey shit.”

And you’re registering the stinging pain of it before realizing she’s slapped you across the face. Then, the agony. The searing red-white-blacking out pain of a sword jammed into your chest. You scream, sweat beading out your pores, limbs locking up in a shock.

It dies as quickly as it came and you feel a small part of you dislodge and follow that pain to the eternal nothing. You wish the whole of you could go. You wish nothing of yours would ever touch those final gates, peering up at the blank eyes above. The glassy eyes above. Something hot splashes across your cheek.

“It’s all I know,” she whispers angrily. Embarrassed. The smoke has been bent, paper jutting out smoothly and impossibly around the corner to patch it up. “It must be enough for you.”

You sigh through ragged lungs. “Okay. Just. Fuck, imagine it shorter and, like, this- this thick.” You hold apart your thumb and forefinger. “The paper is white except the filter, which is orange. No holder-thing, please.”

The cigarette transforms accordingly as you instruct it. The little piece of metal she typically uses to grip her smokes dissipates in a mist. She hands you the lit cigarette and straightens up, conjuring up her own to match.

There’s the sensation of muted horror echoing in some part of your mind as you watch her lean on the hilt of your sword. It slices further into the left side of your chest and more blood lurches out. You puff at your smoke, glaring daggers at your own predicament.

“Yum,” she says after a while. Eagerly, she produces another cigarette. “Want another?”

You give her a shaky thumbs up, spitting the butt out from the corner of your mouth.

She puts her cigarette out between your collar bones where a small, red pool has formed. You hear the sizzle, though you don’t feel it. She relights and sticks it in your mouth.

“All right, then,” she says, kissing your cheek. “I’ll see you in a bit.” And she leaves, pixels above you blurring at the edges as her mind wanders away.

#mw #exciting stuff but I’m getting tested today so I can start HRT🥺🥺

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ask-serendipity-sky · 1 year

Note

I really agree with your last post.

I felt similar after reading narratives from TKKrs trying to debunk Taennie in Paris. I laughed at first because I thought they were ridiculous. Then they went from ridiculous to offensive. Particularly the one narrative of Taennie being a PR relationship to cover the gay relationship TH has with JK.

It made me think of Holland (one of very few out K stars) and all the shit he’s been through trying to advocate for equal rights for LGBT folk in South Korea.

I thought - imagine being in the biggest boy band in the world from the same country as Holland (I doubt they’d be unaware of him), and then go ahead and agree to be in a fake hetero relationship to hide your actual gay one. That would be heartbreaking to me in context of the work trying to be done by people without even a fraction of his influence.

I just can’t see someone of Tae’s standing being gay and agreeing to do a fake hetero relationship. For what? For who?

Comparing that to jimin and his subtle attempts to reveal to us who he is 🏳️‍🌈. It just doesn’t line up.

The more you discover of these desperate narratives, the way less funny they become. They’re insensitive and harmful.

Hi anon. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

I agree. The absurd theories are funny until they are not.

I had heard of Holland but wasn't aware of his complete story so I looked him up for those who want to read a bit more:

I also found this on koreaboo but I found it interesting and it gets you thinking in the right direction:

For the companies, the end is all business. The companies make money with ships and that's what matters to them. It's not about the artists (those in the ship and those used as part of the "plot"), the minds of vulnerable teenagers and adults who often live unfulfilled lives and, therefore, live intensely through these ships, but also, in my eyes, the mocking of those who are still unable to live and love freely.

Holland, being completely unknown, took a stand. Now, I'm not saying that all artists have to do this. I'm not saying that at all. Each person does what they can, how they can, when they can, if they can.

It's an issue that is hard to fix but you got to start somewhere. If you are not going to be part of the solution, don't be part of the problem.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

#asks #jikook #Holland #queerbaiting #vermin

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apoptoses · 11 months

Note

21. If you wrote a “missing scene” in Blood Sanation what would it be?

29. What songs would be (or are) on a playlist for Come Pull My Strings in general? Explain your choices if you want!

Bonus if you want/have time: 50. Answer any question of your choice, or talk about anything you want to talk about!

I'm going to disappoint the hell out of you and admit that I can't hear lyrics 90% of the time, so it's hard for to me to pick songs to relate to fic. I have severe audio processing issues, it takes me like twenty repetitions of a song to even realize the singer is saying words most of the time. And even then I don't understand correctly lol

To make up for that! I have a missing scene from Blood Sanation that I'll give you right now. It's Armand and Daniel returning home to NYC. It just didn't fit in the narrative so I cut it, but it's not a bad scene I think:

Armand rested heavy against Daniel’s shoulder, eyes on the screen embedded in the back of the seat in front of them. Daniel kept scrolling through the movies again and again in wonder. Beside them passengers pushed their way toward the back of the place, bags thudding into their overhead compartments. The flight attendant reached over Armand and slammed shut the compartment above them.

“The seats suck compare to the flights we used to take, but the little tvs are an improvement I guess,” Daniel said as he pushed a button on the menu and found the games.

“Have you not been on a plane since I last saw you?”

Daniel shrugged. “Yeah but I wasn’t really in the mood to play games. I think I stared out the window the whole time.” He put his arm around Armand’s shoulders and squeezed. “I didn’t have you there to hassle me and keep me entertained.”

Armand smiled. Funny how they could make light of that time now, if only to keep from dulling their mood.

Flying home commercial had been his idea.

Skipping the private jet and going to the airport like normal travelers had only seemed natural after reliving the early days of their relationship. True, the airplanes were different now. The seats even in first class were more narrow, and the lounges upstairs were gone. But now Armand could curl up against Daniel’s side freely and not worry about what anyone thought. He could nap against his chest the whole way home if he wanted.

“I’m kind of nervous about going back, to tell you the truth,” Daniel said suddenly.

The plane pulled back from the jetway. It shuddered as the pilot took it out of reverse, changed gears, and turned toward the runway for takeoff.

“What about?” Armand asked.

Surprising for Daniel to say this now, when he hadn’t seemed to worry the entire trip. Armand sat up, craned his neck awkwardly to look at his face without removing Daniel’s arm from his shoulders.

“It’ll just be different, not having you all to myself,” Daniel said. “And I’m not against you having your own relationships outside of what you have with me. But I can’t say I’m not nervous about how it’ll all work out.”

“I don’t think either of us can say how it’ll work out,” Armand said slowly. “We can only try our best. Especially if you’ll be living outside of Trinity Gate.”

“Right.”

The plane rumbled as the engines turned, gaining speed. It rolled forward slowly and then, with a great leap that jerked them back into their seats, roared down the runway and into the sky. Daniel always used to sweat at this part. He’d drink a glass of whiskey before boarding and then request another the moment they’d sat down to get him through the anxiety of take off. As an immortal all Armand could offer him was his hand.

Outside the window the lights of the city grew smaller and smaller. Daniel closed his eyes and laced their fingers, holding his hand tight.

“But just think, the nights I come to visit you we’ll be all alone together. I can get in bed with and sleep away the day, and when I go back home you can text me as much as you like,” Armand said to distract him. “I can send you all sorts of things now when we’re apart.”

Armand shifted closer. He leaned across the armrest to whisper into Daniel’s ear above the roar of the plane.

“I can send you photos. Videos. Louis loves to go to the symphony. I could slip away to the bathroom and send you all sorts of things and he would hardly be the wiser. Or would you like him to know?”

Daniel’s adam’s apple worked in his throat. Armand grinned.

“You want him to know. You like nice, proper Louis knowing that I’ve left my seat to send you photos of my cock.”

Daniel glanced over. “Jesus, Armand, we’re in public.”

“That’s never stopped you before. I remember what I used to do to you under the blankets on these planes when the lights were out. If I could still get in your mind I’d put the image there but- then again, I don’t have to, do I? You can imagine it quite well.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I remember,” Daniel said, voice low and rough.

While no one seemed to be paying attention Armand dropped his hand. Reached over and gave his groin a quick squeeze.

Daniel made a sound as if the breath had been punched out of him. The plane evened out and hit cruising altitude.

“Nice to know I still have such an effect on you,” Armand said and snuggled back up against his side. “Really though, Daniel, Louis will understand.”

Daniel dragged his hand over his face. He was so red under the harsh fluorescent lights in the plane. “I just don’t want anyone jealous or putting you in the middle and making you feel like you have to choose. Or making you feel like your whole job is running back and forth between guys and you never get time for yourself.”

“But I like spending time with each of you. And we can all spend time together, can’t we? Surely you and Louis can survive watching a movie in the same room with me.”

“Yeah, I mean more like- if you spend a couple nights with him and I’m missing you. Or the other way around. Does that sound silly and insecure?” Daniel asked.

Armand nestled into the warm space of Daniel’s underarm and bit back a smile. When Daniel glanced out the window he saw the reflection of his face in the plastic. His hand went still on his shoulder.

“What’s so funny? It is silly and insecure, isn’t it?” he asked.

Armand shook his head. “No. I was only thinking I haven’t had men openly jealous over me since I was a boy. The idea of you and Louis arguing over me is entertaining, that’s all,” he said. “It’ll be fine, really. If you need me all you ever have to do is ask. And besides, Louis may return to Auvergne with Lestat.”

Daniel’s hand resumed rubbing its slow circles into his arm. Armand closed his eyes. They were high enough in the sky there were no lights to look at now, only clouds and endless dark sky.

“And are you worried about that?” Daniel asked.

“Of course. But there’s nothing I can do about it, is there?”

The idea made his chest go tight, caused the lump to try to creep up and constrict his throat. But Daniel’s big hand on his arm helped to push it back down. Over the hum of the engines he could hear the slow beat of his heart and the rasp of his lungs. Armand tried to breathe with him, to exhale whenever Daniel did and keep his airway open.

Louis might leave. But Louis might also stay. Louis and Daniel might one day live with him, all three of them together with whoever else chose to remain at Trinity Gate.

Or perhaps he’d live with Daniel again, just the two of them. There was no way to know. But they were going home now, back to New York, where they could begin again and find out.

Daniel touched the computer screen again. He scrolled through the movies until he found a film with Meg Ryan, one they’d seen together shortly before they’d split. When Harry Met Sally. He felt for his headphones in his pocket and plugged them in, giving one of the earbuds to Armand.

Armand placed the thing in his ear, curled up at Daniel’s side and watched the opening credits roll.

“Daniel?”

“Yeah?”

Armand smirked. “Do you think if I ask the flight attendant for a blanket she’ll bring one?”

Daniel rolled his eyes. Reached up and pressed the call button. It lit up with a soft ding.

“I’m never flying commercial with you again.”

#apoptoses answers #armand/daniel #blood sanation

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elvesandlanterns · 1 year

Text

Reacting to the DC- Verse

DC-Verse Theater

A Theater appeared in front of more than a dozen heroes. They were seemingly teleported in the middle of the day, none of their phones worked past the camera and the bats were slowly starting to tear the building apart. All of the doors were locked and none of them could open them, even with kryptonian strength.

The most concerning part was that they were all dressed as civilians.

Everyone in the room; Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman, GL Hal, Green Arrow, Flash Barry, Aquaman, Dick, Jason, Tim, Stephanie, Cassandra, Damian, Duke, Barbra, Wally, Roy, Jon, Konner and Bart.

“Well we might as well raid the concession stand,” Wally could hear the other heroes eyes roll and can’t find it in him to care. Impulse beats him to the popcorn maker and screams as he opens the cabinet.

“Bart!” There on the floor hair tangled on the edge of door of the cabinet splayed out was a girl. She wasn’t breathing. “What the fuck what the absolute fuck.” Wally had seen plenty of horrible things in his job both of them but this entire situation unsettled him completely. “Barry I think you need to see this.”

The heroes knew better to crowed a body and allowed Barry and Batman to pass freely… they still stared tho. She looked short, half of her body still stuffed into the drawer making it hard to tell. Barry reached out and flipped her over. He need to check if maybe just maybe she was breathing. Flash stopped at his colleges intake of breath. Face up everyone could see a stained patch of her black hair was white.

Jason cussed up a storm.

Before Barry could begin touch her, the body arched up and gasped loudly.

“Holy shit back up man.”

Oh she was a live. That some how left the group with more questions.

She contorted, pulling her body out of the space. She looked …normal. Short, black hair, black eyes, tawny skin scarred. She stood up and stretched.

Clark blanched, “She’s breathing.” They got a few looks, “She definitely wasn’t breathing before.”

Jason couldn’t take it, “What are you?”

She stopped mid stretch, and shrugged, “I’m a chimera.” Her grin was all teeth.

“Well then let’s get this over with.”

“Get what over with, do you perhaps know why we are here miss -?” Journalist powers go!

“Well to watch the multiverse of course! Or at least that what I assume my boss wants me to do, can’t really think of another reason you lot would be here.”

“The multiverse? What’s that…” Clark asked.

The girl stopped and stared at him, “Tugh, you can all drop the act. I know who all of you are.”

“I don’t know-“

She pointed them out, “Superman, Batman, Green Lantern, yadda yadda yadda. Come on the faster we do this the faster you get sent home.”

The heroes started spewing outrage.

Diana spoke directly to her first tho, “Who are you? What is your bosses plan?”

The raven haired girl walked up to a seat and sat down, “Like I said I’m Chimera, and my boss probably wants me to show you guys the multiverse so you guys can I dunno learn a lesson or become stronger or some bull crap like that.”

Diana nodded, “And you have that ability? The ability to just see these things?”

“ I’d be a pretty bad Watcher if I didn’t!”

“Watcher?”

“Yup it’s like my title and rank, the infinite cosmos to watch and no one to share it with. “

Diana was growing concerned sure the girl knew things she shouldn’t but-

“So no worries about me spilling any secret identities, I’m entirely constrained to this dimension.” Her voice got softer annoyed, “Trust me I’ve tried.”

Diana really didn’t like the way that sounded.

“Oh and don’t worry about your world catching on fire without you it’s on pause till you get back.” The girl said flipping the screen on her phone, that presumably worked.

The heroes all looked around at each other, were they really doing this?

Roy was done, “As intriguing as this all is what if I don’t want to? Time being paused or not I have a baby at home to feed.”

She kept on scrolling, “Funny you say that as if we have a choice.”

“We?” Diana shared a look with Clark, she really wasn’t liking how this all sounded. Did they need to save this girl?

“Yup,” she made a popping sound on the ‘p’, “We, what part of this being my job do you not understand ?”

Diana didn’t have a response ready for that.

Jon floated over to the girl and sat down in the seat next to her, ignoring his dads whispers (and Damian’s yells) not to approach.

“What are you doing?”

“Looking at our options.”

Note: Feel free to send me anything you’d like them to react to!!!

#batman #justice league #batfam #dc x dp #dc multiverse #DC-Verse Theater

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marley-manson · 1 year

Text

good things about Bug Out:

- Hawkeye nervous about performing a delicate proceedure he’s never been trained in and snapping at people, always one of my favourite things

- Hawkeye freely and emphatically telling Margaret he’s terrified when she points out he’s not acting scared

- uhhhhh Hawkeye’s parasol

bad things about Bug Out:

- it’s a bad episode bront

- Potter

- “This is the US army, if we want land, we don’t buy it we take it!” with 0 condemnation from the narrative.

- the military march version of the theme complete with asian stereotype riff

- WHY does Margaret stay with Hawkeye, and why does Hawkeye only offer one token protest????????? she is useless here.

- even more emphatic WHY DOES RADAR STAY???? Hawkeye doesn’t even say a word, he’s just like ‘k cool’ when Radar says he’s staying too, wtf lol. He should be picking him up and throwing him into the nearest truck, not buying him a drink at Rosie’s. it’s so arbitrary and stupid, clearly a nonsensical plot contrivance for the sake of like, padding the 2 parter out with the bar scene

- Potter makes Klinger give up all his dresses, no reimbursement or anything, and then it turns out to be pointless in the next scene anyway

- bad attempted dramatic references to wartime rape esp when we got Rainbow Bridge to compare it to. Rainbow Bridge is good because it’s a brief acknowledgement of harsh reality that’s accepted as a risk. Hawkeye makes a quick joke that I’m fine with bc it serves as an ic expression of nervousness, then we move on. In Bug Out Margaret brings it up in a serious enough way suitable for the tone, but Hawkeye dismisses her concern for some reason, telling her “there’s no reason to be afraid,” before the conversation shifts away onto him. Then the more slapstick-y panic at the end (like this scene features Radar trying to hide behind a pole, c’mon) includes Margaret screaming about being ravaged ft a dismissive Hawkeye joke (”tell them you’re with me”), and later exaggerating the danger they were in to Frank. And it also bugs me that Margaret specifies “female prisoners” when Rainbow Bridge acknowledged male rape. It’s like it’s trying to be a serious moment to draw attention to the danger of the situation, and then falls flat on its face.

- the overall plot doesn’t really make sense? is it just a coincidence that a bug out drill turned into a bug out rumour that was denied and then turned into a real bug out? considering they bug out like twice over the course of the show that seems pretty improbable lol.

- honestly I find the humour in this episode mostly bad. more racist jokes than usual, a few homophobic moments (Potter calling some singer a sissy, BJ’s “I’m staying with you but don’t get me wrong” no homo, everyone calling Frank Alice), and an offputting tone that doesn’t successfully balance its humour and its drama imo (see that paragraph about rape up there for an example)

- oh also why tf does Klinger immediately tell Frank about the bug out thing, without even mentioning the fact that it’s just a drill? I get that Klinger can’t keep a secret, that’s a fairly consistent thing, but why immediately go to Frank and Margaret of all people? Did he intentionally want the camp in an uproar? Why, if so? If it’s a prank we should’ve had a scene where he laughs about it, but nope.

- Hawkeye parking the car to wax poetic about the MASH good lord. serves you right that it stalled out. I don’t necessarily think it’s that ooc since it wasn’t positive, just ‘we spent a lot of time here, lots of ppl died here, hmm’ but i do think it’s dumb as shit and I don’t think Hawkeye lacks that much self-preservation

- no good gay jokes either :/ literally the best we got is Hawkeye saying, “You finally realized I have a beautiful body” after Margaret says she’s staying, which is the mildest of feminizing jokes.

It’s funny honestly, I remembered disliking this episode for Potter and the pro-military flavour and the lack of decent gay jokes, but upon rewatching there are so many more aspects to hate in addition to that

#mash #marley on mash #mash s5 #i needed to complain lol #it's bad in comparison to most of mash tbf it's still a decently entertaining episode of television that's mostly ic #but boy it's one of my least faves and it's in such a bad position - ushering in a new showrunner like oof #i mean i think of season 5 fondly with this as somewhat of an egregious anomaly but still

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licensedqueerio · 2 years

Note

IK u've already done Fred Benson x GN reader confession stuff but...more please?? maybe reader leaving Fred anonymous love letters until the truth comes out??😳😳

I'm obsessed with Fred x jock reader. Apparently, I'm a sucker for the nerd/jock trope. I thought I was more interesting than this!

Also, this is different from my usual works. I kind of just want to see how it does in comparison to all my other pieces that have happy endings. This was fun to write anyhow :) I think I’ll write a part two eventually. Just depends tho if anyone wants one.

(also I’m kinda in a romance slump if that makes sense. I need to read more romance books, so if anyone’s got any recs, lemme know)

—

Word count: 2.7k

Pairing: Fred Benson x Reader

Warnings: N/A

Request Here

—

It started small. A slip of notebook paper shoved into his locker during passing period.

Dear Fred, your hair looks really nice today.

It wasn't anything romantic. It was barely even a compliment. And it definitely told nothing about your identity, you wanted to stay anonymous. Especially when you kept doing it.

It wasn't a daily thing. It wasn't even a weekly thing at the beginning. But sometimes you thought he looked extra nice, or that something he said in class was really funny. Sometimes you didn't even compliment him, you just said something pointless about your day and asked him about his.

It was a fun little thing you got some serotonin from doing. And you didn't have to face the awkwardness of ever saying any of it in person. It's why you started writing the notes in the first place, words came more freely when you wrote them down. Something to do with not having to see the person's reaction to your words. It’s why you'd never said more than a word to Fred.

You knew how he was. You heard he once made a newspaper kid cry without even touching him. You didn't want to risk being torn to shreds with just a few words, so you stayed anonymous and just shoved the notes in his locker for him to find.

But one week he disappeared and something…changed with you. You began writing him more. Every day he was missing you slipped a note in his locker. Saying you missed seeing him around. Or that you missed his witty remarks in class. You were secretly worried about his well being.

Dear Fred,

You probably don't want to hear from me considering I've left you about six notes this week alone. It's the most I've written to you, actually. I guess I was worried. Not I guess. I was worried. A lot. You just disappeared off the face of the earth for a week.I suppose that’s your business though.

I really did miss you in class, I didn't lie about that. It's boring without you picking fights with everyone. But you're back. I saw you in the hall earlier. You looked like actual hell, no offense. I think I saw a cut on your face but I’m not sure, you walk too fast. Are you okay? Getting into actual fights after school too now?

I'm glad you're back anyhow. And I'm glad you're in one piece.

It was longer than usual, but you slipped it in your locker like normal and that was the end of it.

Until it wasn't. That single note seemed to open some sort of door in your mind that green lit a different sort of note.

Dear Fred

So that cut scarred. I noticed it in class. If I'm being honest, I couldn't stop looking at you. Even with a scar, you're beautiful to look at. I couldn't tear my eyes away from you, the way people can’t look away from the TV or something. Not in the way someone looks at a car wreck or something.

You distracted me in a way I enjoyed, like the TV. Consequently, I’m definitely going to bomb out next test, but tis a small price to pay. One I’m likely going to keep making in the foreseeable future.

I don't know how I ever got work done in the past with you sitting in the same room as me. It's as though my eyes are finally open and I can see you for how attractive you really are.

You distract me in the best possible way, Fred Benson.

You hesitated to send that one, so you nearly got caught. You kept turning it over in your hands as you walked back and forth in front of his locker. Debating on if you should leave it or not. Weighing the pro’s and con’s and taking into account the heightened risks.

"Can you move?"

You turned, staring at Fred with wide eyes. And wow was it nice to actually look him in the face. You were usually stuck staring at his side profile because of where he sat and where you sat.

"Uh, hello? You're pacing in front of my locker. So if you could go have an existential crisis about—" he looked you up and down, eyes lingering on your letterman jacket, "some brainless sport, I'd appreciate it."

You blinked. Wow. "Uh, yeah," you intelligently said, stepping to the side. "My bad," you added and very quickly walked away before you could further humiliate yourself.

After a few paces, you looked over your shoulder to find him already staring at you, eyes narrowed and firmly fixed on you. You whipped your head around and walked faster.

You left the note in his locker later, but stopped for about a week and a half. You didn't want to run the risk of him suspecting it was you who was leaving the notes. So, you stopped leaving them for a bit.

When Fred finally stopped giving you looks in the hall, you slipped a new note in his locker. You even taunted him and asked him who he thought was leaving him these notes.

After that one, you waited another week before leaving the riskiest one yet.

Dear Fred

I have a crush on you now. Fuck you and your irresistible seduction techniques, I feel like a middle schooler who just learned what a crush is. This wasn’t supposed to happen. I was just supposed to leave you notes on occasion to maybe make you smile because you always look so grumpy.

But it was inevitable, really; all that time spent staring at you. If I had a type in people, you would fit it like a glove.

You're incredibly smart, passionate and driven, witty, (kind of mean), and very nice to look at. You're a catch. At least in my book.

I get butterflies when you walk in the room, I can barely stand to look you in the eyes without feeling warm and fuzzy. Even though you don't realize the impact you have on me, I can't help but hope for even a small chance with you.

I want to get to really know you. I want to know what makes you, you. I wanna know what gets you going and what you hate. I want to know you.

But alas. Here we are. Maybe one day I'll scrounge up the courage to sign my name at the end of one of these notes.

—

Fred slammed the piece of paper against the table with a loud smack that echoed through the empty paper room. "Look."

Nancy looked up from her lunch and stepped away from the counter she was leaning against. It was then he saw Robin, sitting on the floor next to her. She sprang up though when Nancy walked away.

"What's going on?" She asked as Nancy took the piece of paper from Fred. "Ooh, what's that?" She asked, hooking her chin over Nancy's shoulder to read over her shoulder.

Fred scowled at her. He wouldn't have brought it up if he knew she was in here. It was bad enough Nancy knew. (Actually, it was nice Nancy knew. He could talk about it with her). Robin on the other hand, was a whole other story.

"Fred's been getting notes in his locker all semester," Nancy filled in. "He's got a secret admirer," she teased with a smile.

"Fun," Robin nodded. "Oh wow. 'I get butterflies when you walk in the room', they're so into you!" She excitedly exclaimed, hooking her arms around Nancy's middle.

Fred ignored that. No way was that possible. It was a prank. Some douchebag who thought it was funny to mess with him. He was getting sick of it.

He very firmly ignored the part of him that hoped it was genuine. That whoever was leaving these notes in his locker genuinely liked him.

He didn't like to listen to that part of his brain. It usually led him to crushing disappointment, so he learned it was best to just shove those feelings down until they dissipated. They would, eventually.

"You still have no clue who's giving you these?' Nancy asked, handing Robin the note when she made a grab for it when she tried to give it back to Fred. Robin pressed a kiss to her cheek in gratitude.

"Nope," Fred answered. "One of my English classmates. Or maybe math, that's usually when I find the notes," he shrugged.

"You don't have anyone who seems the type to do this?" Nancy pressed. She was very involved in trying to find Fred someone so he didn't have to always third wheel her and Robin.

Fred did, actually. You. He didn't think you would be the type to write anything as sappy as a love letter considering your jock reputation, but that day you'd been lingering around his locker was suspicious. Plus he didn't get a note til later in the day. It made sense, but also, it confused him a lot more.

Why would you write him a love letter? Was he right? Were you just screwing around with him and you and your other jock buddies were getting a good laugh?

"No," he answered anyway. "No one. I don't even talk to anyone besides you two."

"That's sad," Robin deadpanned. "You don't have any friends? I think that's worse than Steve," she jested, jostling Nancy with a grin.

"Steve has friends," Nancy began, distracted from the topic at hand.

"That are children," Robin finished. "Anyways. Freddie, we need to find you friends. Besides us, because while we are wonderful company…"

Nancy elbowed her with a tight smile.

“Fred,” he corrected for the umpteenth time.

The door suddenly slammed open, making Nancy and Robin jump away from each other. When Fred looked up to see who had arrived, he found himself staring at you, frozen in the doorway. Your hand was still on the doorknob. You quickly hid your other hand behind your back.

When your eyes met his, you very quickly broke eye contact and looked at Nancy and Robin instead. Then your eyes found the paper in Robin’s hands. You opened and closed your mouth a few times before managing a choked, “sorry.”

“Oh, hey, Y/N,” Nancy politely greeted and Fred suddenly remembered that you two were friendly with each other. You had a mutual friend: Steve Harrington.

“Nancy,” you said with a nod of acknowledgement. You stepped back, safely out of the room.

Fred watched you, making eye contact again and frowned when you immediately avoided it. But he said nothing.

“I’m gonna…go,” you said, taking another step backwards and letting the door close as you walked away.

It was silent between the trio for a few moments.

“Dude,” Robin exclaimed. “It was them. They’re writing the letters, one hundred percent. I mean—did you see the way they looked at you!?”

“No,” Fred denied. “Why would it be them? Have you seen them? They hate people like me. Them and their buddies make fun of people like me on a daily basis.”

“Not all jocks are Jason Carver,” said Nancy with a ‘for-your-information’ tone. “I think it could be them, just based on their behavior. They were really avoiding eye contact."

"Maybe they just hate me and don’t want to look at me,” Fred countered. “Maybe they were doing something they’re not supposed to and that's why they were avoiding eye contact. Why would they be here?"

"Maybe they were gonna deliver another letter," Robin suggested with a grin. “And then they seen you and you like, totally ruined their plans.”

“No,” Fred denied again. “Can we stop talking about this now? It wasn’t them. They’re a stupid jock who would mkae fun of me the first chance they got,” he said sourly, snatching the letter back and haphazardly stuffing it into his back pocket.

—

“Ow, what the fuck!?” You furiously hissed, rubbing the back of your head that had just been rudely knocked against the wall. You squinted at whoever had just pulled you into the paper room and proceeded to shove you against the door. You found yourself staring at none other than Fred Benson. You blinked at him. That was unexpected.

“Sorry,” he said, but didn’t at all sound apologetic. “But it’s not easy to find you without your jock buddies and I need answers. Now.”

“Y’know, Benson, you could have just asked to speak with me. No need to assault me,” you said calmly, straightening up and fixing your jacket. You folded your arms across your chest and stared at him. “So? What do you want?”

Your heart was pounding inside your chest and you felt warm low in your gut. Just being this close in proximity to the boy you’d developed a crush on was driving you crazy. But you had to seem calm and collected so he didn’t suspect anything.

“You did it,” he said bluntly. “Didn’t you? The notes in my locker?” He thrust the newly written letter in your face.

Your facade cracked as you forced a laugh, “am I supposed to know what that is?” you asked, glancing at the paper then staring back at him, ignoring the heat rushing to your face in embarrassment. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t lie,” Fred said with a frown, lowering his hand. You could see the doubt crawling into his expression though. “You’ve been writing them for the past few months, haven’t you? You’re the only person who makes sense.”

“I haven’t written anything,” you denied, stronger this time. “Why would I leave notes in your locker? That’s just ridiculous,” you forced out, even though it hurt to say because it wasn’t ridiculous and fuck, you didn’t want to hurt his feelings.

Fred’s frown turned into a scowl.

“I have to go,” you said, clearing your throat and twisting to open the door. But before you could, Fred's voice stopped you.

"Wait."

You paused with a quiet sigh. You turned back around to face him. "What?" You expectantly asked.

You weren't expecting Fred to press his lips against yours and keep them there in a lingering kiss. And you weren't expecting to like it so much.

You pulled away abruptly, your arms coming apart to hold his shoulders. "What was that?!" You exclaimed, shaking him a little. You were just surprised and flustered. And happy it finally happened.

Fred's eyes went wide and fearful. He tensed up beneath your hands and tried to shy away from you.

In an instant, you dropped your hands, stepping back and bumping into the door, but you didn’t care. You showed him your hands, palms out, “shit, Fred, I’m not gonna hit you or anything,” you said quietly, unable to raise your voice.

Fred didn’t look confident that you wouldn’t as he stepped backwards. “I’ve been beat up by your friends before,” he said, finding his voice. “Look, just go. Clearly I was mistaken.”

“No—”

“Go!” He said louder, turning his back on you.

You opened your mouth, but no words came out. So you sighed in defeat and turned around. With your hand on the door knob, you glanced back at him. You watched as he rubbed at his face before turning around. You turned the knob and opened the door, stuffing your free hand into your pocket where it crushed the letter folded up inside. You walked out of the paper room and didn’t look back.

#ransomswriting #reader insert #ask box #reader #stranger things #stranger things season 4 #answered asks #fred benson #fred benson x gender neutral reader #fred benson x reader #x reader #nancy wheeler #robin buckley #ronance

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vad-hander · 2 years

Text

NO NAME

Pairing: Johnny (NCT) x reader x Jinyoung (GOT7)

Genre: Series | Smut | Angst | Fluff

Warnings: abuse, depression, toxic friendship, established relationships (?), mentions of self harm, messed up everything (you’ll get it as you read it), cheating, best friends to enemies, lovers to strangers

Words: 8k

Jinyoung walked precisely behind you, sighing heavily when you pressed the elevator button.

“So you had fun today? Feeling better?”

“I did… have fun, though I wish the night ended differently.” you looked at him quickly but Jinyoung was staring at the number plate mindlessly.

“It always seemed to me so weird or impressive, I don’t know which one, when I think how you can freely kiss someone or even sleep with them, like you are just doing it boldly. I would have so many concerns and everything, it just makes me think how really different we are.”

“Are you trying to insult me?”

“I don’t know. Just…” he moved his eyes at you and you got caught up in them. “Go in.” he said making you snap back and realise the elevator is here.

“If your thinking bad of me just say it.”

“I don’t.”

“I’m not jumping just at anyone. He’s actually nice and he might be my boyfriend when the time comes, who knows?” you tried to not seem upset in front of Jinyoung.

“You’re right, but if he was someone else you probably would’ve been somewhere else right now.”

“Are you…” you didn’t know if he was going this way or was just concerned about your mental stability and all in all safety “are you not okay with me having sex with whoever it is…?” you just blubbered it out since it was sitting right at the tip of your tongue. You were just hoping he’d say yes and then you’ll just be convinced he loves you. The door of the elevator opened and he just walked out of it, leaving you without an answer.

“Which way?”

“Oh, here.” you walked with him now, getting in front of your door.

“Sleep tight, then…?” he asked unsure.

“Can you come in? I feel dizzy. You’re probably right, I drank too much.” your fingers grabbed onto his wrist as if he’d run away.

“So…”

“Sona is sleeping, I don’t think she’ll wake up any time soon if you’re saying she’s drunk.”

“Okay… just for 5 minutes.” you nodded in reply and opened the door to walk in.

“So what you think? I think it’s better than my old one.”

“It’s pretty here.” his eyes ran around when he walked forward.

“I should give you coffee.”

“It’s fine.” he protested quickly, catching up with you and holding onto your shoulder when you tried to get to the coffee machine.

“Jinyoung…”

“What?”

“Please take the dress off me.” he chuckled taken aback and looked at your serious face.

“Not funny, Y/n.”

“I’m not trying to be funny. I’m just loaded with cocktails.”

“And…?” he asked and took a step back which you found funny.

“Don’t you ever just look at me and think fuck everything? Don’t you ever want us to be together again?

“Y/n just go to bed.”

“Not answering automatically means you want me.”

“If I’ll say yes, I have thought of it maybe once, it’ll give you hope and saying no will get you upset. There’s no right answer.”

“Don’t do something right once.”

“Well I did it once, when I decided to go out with Johnny, now I’m just not ever trying it again.”

“So does that mean you’re just hiding your true feelings?”

“No, it doesn’t necessarily mean it.”

“Let’s be honest? I want you, I always want you. I miss you, I love you so much. Nothing ever changed for me. I don’t know how it works, I never was in love for real before and maybe it’s just the way I am, but I can’t fall asleep without you. Sometimes I feel like someone hit me with a rock right Into my chest and I can’t breathe because I realise I don’t have you next to me. I really want to tell you sometimes please forget everything and come back, but I know you can’t be like that. I’m… I just don’t know. You’re the only reason I’m still breathing. You’re the only reason I’m still going outside even if I’m scared to. I love you, Jinyoung.“

“God, Y/n.”

“Can you at least hug me?” he nodded quickly and took a step back to you, but you were quicker, closing the space between you two. Your arms wrapped around his waist, tucking your face into his chest. “I promise, I will stop with this, I just need a little more time.”

“It’s okay.” he whispered quietly and caressed your hair.

“I want you so badly too. Even now.” you pulled back a little and felt your mind being completely blurred. “Can’t we have sex? Just this once? I won’t tell anyone, I really need it. Jinyoung, please? Didn’t you tell me I can come to you with everything, you promised to help me with everything. I’m soaked just from a single thought of you fucking me. I swear to God it’s hard to even stand straight, Jinyoung, I’m not lying. See, I’m shivering from how much I’m turned on.” you forced his eyes to run down your arms. Somehow you convinced your own self he’ll give in and you were practically waiting for him to drug you on the couch behind him.

“Even if I wanted to do it badly, you know I wouldn’t.”

“Break up with her.” you blabbered quickly.

“Y/n.” he said strictly but it made you want him even more.

“I know you won’t cheat even if you’d be wasted. I have a better plan, we can masturbate looking at each other, it’s not cheating but it’s something. You can blame me for everything later.”

“Please, just let me make sure you’re in bed and leave.”

“Let’s go to bed.” you held onto his wrist fiercely and dragged him to your room. It was almost empty and unpretty yet, but he probably wasn’t able to see anything in the dark. You lowered yourself on the bed quickly and Jinyoung sat next to your laying body.

“Are you going to sleep in this?”

“No.” you shook your head quickly and raised your hands towards the buttons. Jinyoung stared at your fingers or maybe at your chest, you couldn’t know for sure, but when you undid two more buttons, the next one leading to your bellybutton, Jinyoung’s fist laid atop of yours.

“Want to help me?” you asked innocently knowing damn well he’s not. “Don’t act like you never liked my body.”

“I didn’t even say anything.”

“You can just get me off with your fingers. It’s not even anything serious, it’s just fingers. Jinyoung, please, we’ll never speak again if you’ll reject me. I’m embarrassing myself too much right now.”

“So what?” he spoke louder than before.

“So what if we never speak again?”

“No, so what do you want. Want me to finger you, sleep with you, whatever, it doesn’t matter. What’s next? You won’t stop after once, you’ll just want it all the time. You’ll want me to leave Sona, get back with you, or even better. You’ll start sabotaging me to sleep with you and what’s next? If you went home with that guy you’d be moaning his name now and wouldn’t even think of me, but because he rejected you you’re trying very boldly to make me fuck you. It won’t happen.”

“Jinyoung.” you gulped. “Just say it.” you pushed his hand off you and sat up, holding onto two pieces of the dress to keep it together.

“Say what?”

“That you hate the thought of me, that you’ll never want me. That all of it is just out of pity. You called me a whore already so just throw it all at me.”

“It’s not even what I’m saying.”

“Add up to all this that I never understand you and please leave.”

“What are you saying? What is all this?”

“Just go, Sona is waiting.” you wiped tears off your cheeks.

“Y/n, please, don’t make me feel terrible.”

“No, Jinyoung. You don’t understand that I can’t be your friend. It’s impossible, I just can’t take it. It’s the end, bye, have a great life, please send me a wedding invitation when you’ll have one. Go.”

“I don’t want to lose you when I just found you.”

“Jinyoung, but I can’t. Can’t you see that I can’t?” you broke down again and hid your face in your palms.

“Oh, please, Y/n, I love you so-so much too, you’re taking all of my mind and heart, but just no.” you felt Jinyoung pull you in to hug.

“Why?”

“I just can’t do all of it once again, I want to keep on the low, keep it quiet and simple with Sona.”

“You’re just saying I’m too much?”

“No, I’m not saying you’re too much.”

“But you just can’t take me.”

“I have a girlfriend.”

“I’m so tired.” you felt heavy and he allowed for you to lie down on the bed, lowering his body with you. “Can you stay until I fall asleep?”

“What if I’ll fall asleep too? Sona’s in the car.”

“If you love me so-so much, can you at least kiss me goodbye?” he shook his head a strict no.

“I meant like a friend.” you closed your eyes hopelessly and let go of him. You thought he’ll leave immediately but he didn’t move at all. You opened your eyes and noticed him looking at you. You could practically feel how somewhere in parallel universe he smashed his lips against yours, but here he was sitting and looking at you. “What you’re sleeping in?”

“This.” you ran with your hand under the duvet, getting a simple pair of pants and a shirt.

“Want to change into them?” he asked and you suddenly realised you were laying in front of him in a half-undone dress. He didn’t even take a single glimpse at you and it made you feel humiliated.

“I want to take shower first. You can go, I’m fine.” you forced a smile and expected him to leave.

“I’ll wait for you, okay?”

“If you want to…?” you said confused and he moved himself away, allowing for you to stand up.

You got out of the shower in less than 10 minutes seeing Jinyoung in the same position as before. He seemed to be sitting there like that this whole time. You walked back to bed planning to get into it when you felt Jinyoung’s cold fingers on yours. It wasn’t even cold in your room, you couldn’t understand why he was freezing.

“You want the truth?” you gulped and froze. Whatever he was about to say would probably bring you more pain than before. “I was obsessing over you, not sleeping at all or actually, I slept in your bed for a week maybe because I was hoping you’d come home at one point. Then I came once and the code wasn’t matching, I knocked on the door but someone else lived there now. I was furious, I couldn’t believe I missed out on you just like that. I couldn’t believe you moved away like this. Everything was just adding up and I was just furious and heartbroken. How could we brake up like this? I thought to my self all the time. I just couldn’t believe it and felt like we’ll meet anytime. I just believed you were my one and only. I lived like this for what feels like forever. When this semester came, we got a new intern, it was Sona, I couldn’t even remember her name at first because I was only focused on you, I couldn’t even notice she was flirting with me because I’d replay in my brain constantly the way you talked with me. When my birthday came I realised I’m living it wrong, you’re not going to pop out of nowhere on the street, I pushed you to the back of my brain and suddenly realised there’s life. Sona asked me out and I agreed because I finally wanted to move on, then I just realised I should ask her to date. You know what’s funny? When I bumped into you, it’s been not even a month since we began dating. When I gave up, you actually popped out of nowhere, when I tried to live without you, you are in front of me asking for love. But I just can’t, I really can’t. Because of Sona, because maybe it was Gods plan after all? He broke us off and the both of us took it hard, I was allowed to move on and met you afterwards maybe just like a sign that look, you were never meant to be together? You’re fine without her too. She’s here and you’re okay just like that.” you felt him pull your hand closer to his face and he laid it against his cheek. You squeezed your eyes to not cry loudly. “But now I just know nothing. I might be wrong, you might be wrong. I don’t know if we should find it out ourselves or keep on living the life we’re living right now. Y/n, I really don’t know. I just don’t want to do anything bad towards you, towards Sona too, it would be just wrong, you know it, right?”

“I know, Jinyoung, I’m so sorry. For everything I said today and wanted you to do. I’m wrong and I know I’m making it all hard for you. I’m so sorry, I really am.” he didn’t reply leaving the room quiet.

“I really need to go, it’s super late, my first lecture is at 10.” he stood up and let go of you completely. “No need to walk me out, I’ll just close the door. Good night.”

“Good night.” you whispered back and sat on the bed only when you heard him lock the door.

from: Jinyoung

“did you pick the cartoon we’re watching today?”

You looked at your phone confused not expecting at all to receive any texts from Jinyoung. Since the night of embarrassment you felt like he left for good and neither of you tried to reach out and you took it as a silent goodbye.

The only texts you were getting these days were from Junwon and seeing Jinyoung’s name on the screen made you feel uneasy once again.

to: Jinyoung

“you still want to go…?”

from: Jinyoung

“I thought we agreed on it”

to: Jinyoung

“are you sure?”

from: Jinyoung

“what do you mean? why would I be not sure?”

to: Jinyoung

“never mind”

“no, I didn’t pick but I’ll”

from: Jinyoung

“just let me know what time”

to: Jinyoung

“k”

“What’s up? You look quite burdened.” Junwon’s fingers moved your hair off your bare shoulder, placing his lips against it.

“Just a message I didn’t expect.” you chuckled and pushed back to lay. Junwon’s hand laid around your shoulder and he explicitly stared into your phone.

“Cartoons?” he asked sarcastically and pressed his face against your ear. Having only slept with him three times you noticed his habit of getting affectionate after sex, and even though you kind of liked it, the rest of the time the both of you were barely a couple and the fact that you didn’t really like him that way wasn’t adding up to that.

“Want to go?”

“Watch the cartoon?”

“Yeah.” you turned to look at him.

“Okay.” he moved in and you could feel his other hand snake down your waist.

“Wait, I have to look up the time.”

“Do it after.” Junwon’s hand pulled your phone from yours, leaning over you more to put it onto the bedside table and drag you under him.

“Hello.” you smiled brightly at Jinyoung.

“Y/n, hi! It’s nice seeing you again.” Sona looked at you moving her eyes down onto your fingers that were intertwined with Junwon’s. “And who’s that?” she smiled cheekily and your eyes moved to Jinyoung who stared at you confused. You wanted to hug him at first but then thought that it might be the wrong idea.

“That’s Junwon, he’s a friend of mine.” you told her quietly. “Junwon, that’s Jinyoung and Sona, you saw them at the club where we met.” you smiled and pointed at them with your intertwined hands.

“Hi, hi.” he smiled politely and you regretted the idea of this double date. You thought seeing Jinyoung one on one would be awkward but this all was as awkward too.

You sat next to Jinyoung with the idea of him maybe willing to talk during the cartoon in your head. Taking quick glances at him every now and then, you took in how he sat calmly being consumed into the cartoon completely, founding it adorable how his eyes were running over the screen. Jinyoung turned his head and caught you staring, turning to look at you too. You tried to pretend you didn’t see it but his body moved closer and you had to turn back to see him.

“What?” you moved your head like you didn’t expect to catch his attention.

“So you’re dating him now…?” he whispered lowly and moved his shoulder closer to yours, accidentally touching Junwon’s fingers that were laying on your shoulder with his and moved back immediately. You wanted to reply but Jinyoung looked so distant you killed the idea of doing so.

Your eyes still tried to catch a glimpse of him and Sona, seeing her leaning in to lay against his shoulder.

“Anyone’s hungry or is it just me?” Sona laughed walking into the hall. “It was such a great idea of yours, Y/n, to watch a cartoon. Are you doing this often? This is really refreshing.” you smiled back at her.

“Thank you, I’m glad you enjoyed it.” you turned your eyes to look at Junwon that stared into his phone now. “Did you like it?”

“Yeah, that was fun.” he smiled and kissed your temple leaving you startled. This probably needed to be discussed, you probably should talk with him about your relationship.

“So no one’s hungry?” Sona said cutely to Jinyoung and you had to look away awkwardly. Junwon’s eyes met yours holding in a giggle he hid in your hair.

“I’m kind of hungry, but we really have to leave you, I’m sorry.”

“Huh, we are?” you looked up at Junwon confused.

“Yeah.” he nodded and you didn’t know if you felt thankful for that decision or disappointed because you would have to leave Jinyoung’s side.

“You wanted to leave, right?” Junwon asked you when the both of you walked into his apartment with bags of take out. His dog ran up to the door barking excitedly.

“Hi baby.” you sounded too high pitched and thought of Sona immediately. “I don’t know actually, but maybe I’m glad we did.” you smiled at him and stood back up with the puppy in your arms. “I’m surprised you could sense that.”

“I’m observing.” he smirked and leaned in to kiss the top of his dogs head.

“Very sweet of you.”

The both of you walked into the living room, placing yourselves onto the floor next to the couch. Junwon’s apartment looked spacious and modern, you only been here once before, but you loved everything about this place. It didn’t look anything like Jinyoung’s, you just couldn’t throw the thought out of your brain.

Junwon felt like a friend that you knew for years. Spending time with Junwon felt like you were with Johnny but maybe even better. You missed Johnny, you needed him in your life and it pained you to even have the thought of wanting him after everything. Sometimes you wondered what he was up to but it only lasted for a minute, before you’d get to the part where he probably hurts you.

Maybe, just maybe, you thought to yourself before you went to bed in those past couple of weeks that what you needed was not Johnny, what you needed was someone who could listen to you and understand you. What happened and what was now happening between you and Junwon was something that was meant to happen between you and Johnny. You couldn’t help but wonder what was wrong with him or you, or just the whole situation that you couldn’t take him in so lightly the way you did with Junwon.

“You know, I actually wanted to tell you something” Junwon’s hand pulled your face back from his lips when you felt like kissing away the thoughts of Johnny from your brain after your dinner.

“What is it?” you smiled and licked your lips.

“I really have to be straight up with this probably.”

“What? Are you sick or something?” you asked him confused, you’d rather hear that than a love confession.

“Jesus, no.” he chuckled and looked weirdly at you. “It’s about you and me.” you closed your eyes in fear and anticipation. “You’re really fun, I’m glad I met you, and those couple of weeks they were just wonderful… I love your company, I love hanging out with you, I love the sex and I can’t believe how beautiful you are.” you opened your eyes quickly to look at him. “It’s just that I don’t love you like you probably want me to and I just had to let you know, before you get your hopes up too high.”

“What?” you chuckled not believing your ears.

“I’m sorry if I hurt you, I just had to be honest. I should’ve said this earlier, I wasn’t looking for a girlfriend but you were just undeniable. My ex just chose New York over me and I’m honestly just not ready to try something with…” you stopped him mid sentence by raising your palm up.

“You don’t what? Please say it once again.”

“I don’t love you like that. I love your company, but not… you know.”

“And you think I’m in love with you?” you bit onto your lip trying to hide your smile.

“I can’t be sure but you act kind of like it?” he looked at you very confused and you just couldn’t hold back but giggle.

“Oh my god, Junwon, I really thought there for a second you wanted to confess your love to me.” you kept on laughing holding on to his shoulder.

“What? Why you’re laughing?” he asked confused and you had to put in all of your strength to stop laughing.

“I don’t know how to not sound mean while saying it, but I don’t love you either. I love same things about you, but I don’t love you like a boyfriend or whatever.”

“Somehow you make me want to feel offended.” he chuckled and silence fell over the room. “Wait… so does this mean we can continue everything as it is…?”

“Only if you’re sure you won’t fall in love with me. I kind of don’t want to deal with those problems.” you smiled widely.

“I’ll try my best, promise to do the same.”

“Oh, on that, you don’t have to worry about it.”

“Why?” he stared at you and you looked over the room. “You love Jinyoung, right?”

“What made you think so?”

“How you stare at him, how you don’t really like Sona and just everything mixed together really screams you’re in love.”

“Annoyingly observing you are.”

“But I’m the one who gets to sleep with you, why?” he took the wine glass off the table, taking a sip.

“It’s a very long story.”

“I love long stories.” he pulled you in for a kiss.

“But should I take your affectionate behaviour as a sign of you falling in love with me?” you tried to joke around to change the subject.

“I’m not a teenager, we’re not teenagers. We can be responsible fuck buddies, I don’t need to push you away every time you’d like to kiss me. We can be affectionate to a crazy point, what matters is that the both of us know what all of this actually means.”

“Mmmh, Junwon, the way you think it’s just so… stop or I’ll fall in love.” you whispered into his lips, caressing his chest slowly. His hands pulled you onto his lap and now you could freely rock your hips against his.

“Honestly, I don’t think I’ll be able to do it once more today, it happened too many times for just 12 hours.”

“Looks like a picked the wrong guy if he can’t keep up with me. I thought we were on the same page.” Junwon rested his head against the couch hopelessly.

“Your eyes kind of look like turned to the side commas.”

“What?” he laughed.

“When you look in specific directions, they really do.”

“Shut up.” his fingers pulled your face in.

from: Jinyoung

“hi”

“we haven’t talked in a while”

to: Jinyoung

“oh, hi” you texted startled. Your last message in this conversation was dated from three months ago.

from: Jinyoung

“It’s Sona’s birthday this weekend. She wants you to come.”

“With your boyfriend.”

“I don’t know if the two of you are still together but I thought I should still ask you to come even though we don’t really speak.”

to: Jinyoung.

“it’s fine (:”

“We’ll come if you’re not against it”

“should we bring a gift or something?”

from: Jinyoung

“why would I be against it!”

“it’s up to you, I don’t really know.”

to: Jinyoung

“Will you send me the address or…?”

from: Jinyoung

“Sure.”

“I’ll be very glad to see you.”

to: Jinyoung

“cool”

You dialled the number, dropping your head back onto the pillow.

“Mmh?” Junwon murmured into the phone.

“You’re not sleeping yet?”

“I’m at work.”

“At this hour?”

“Yeah, the codes won’t write themselves.”

“Okay you nerd, when will you be free?” you mumbled into the phone.

“What happened?”

“Come over.”

“After midnight.” he said after a long pause, probably checking what time it was.

“Okay, I’ll wait for you.”

“Okay.” you could feel him hang up.

“Wait, wait.”

“Yeah?”

“I might fall asleep, come in yourself.”

“Okay, I will.”

“Thank you, bye.”

“Bye-bye.”

“Ugh, damn.” you could hear him hit his foot on the tripod you left next to bed. “Hi, are you sleeping?” he whispered slowly, propping his body on your bed.

“No.” you mumbled still half asleep, moving your body to lay against his.

“What happened, why you wanted me to come?”

“Maybe I just missed you.” you tried your best to get back to life and open your eyes.

“Very not true.” he leaned in and left a kiss on your forehead.

“I just wanted to release stress, but it kind of went away itself. Maybe you can just stay the night.” you sighed heavily.

“You hate when I just stay to sleep.”

“No, who said that?” you cackled and moved your head up, finally being able to move your body. “You’re my boyfriend, aren’t you?” you smirked unstoppably.

“I said it once,” he exclaimed on the last word “Because my younger sister is annoying, you will never let me live off it?”

“No.” you giggled and hugged his waist. The room fell quiet.

“I’ll take a shower then.”

“No, wait.”

“Huh?”

“Are you free this Friday?”

“Yeah, in the evening.” he nodded.

“Will you be my boyfriend for the night?”

“What’s up?”

“Jinyoung said Sona invited me and my boyfriend to her birthday this Friday.”

“Okay… why you agreed?”

“Because he added ‘I don’t know if you two are still together’. He thinks I can’t date someone? Or does he think no one will date me? We’ll go there and shove our happy ever after right into his arrogant face.” you felt yourself getting worked up.

“I love how he gets you excited in just a second.”

“Oh, you, shut up.” you slapped his shoulder.

“Why should I agree?”

“I’ll try to ignore the fact your sister thinks we date.”

“Swear?” he asked serious making you laugh.

“Pinky swear.”

“No way.” Junwon said amazed.

“That’s pretty insane for a grown up birthday party.” you chuckled.

“Don’t you call her a child?” he chuckled at you.

“Dude, she’s 26 now.” you took a quick glance at him, walking towards the big mansion in front of you. You guessed this gigantic house was rented, balloons and all the lights made the place looked like there was a fancy party going on. You sighed and felt Junwon’s palm against yours.

“Whatever it is, we’re here to have fun, right?” you looked at him again and he squeezed your hand reassuring.

“Right.”

“Don’t be nervous over Jinyoung. You’re doing great without him and we’re here to shove our happy ever after into his face, remember?” you giggled and shook your head agreeing.

“I love you.” you laughed mindlessly.

“Huh?” Junwon’s grimace made you laugh even harder.

“I mean like a human, Jesus.” you rolled your eyes, trying to punch him in his shoulder. His hand caught yours mid action, pulling you in quickly to kiss. “What, what are you doing?” you tried to pull back because kissing was not something that was in your routine now.

“Y/n, hi!” Sona sang behind you, sounding like she still walked towards you and you realised what he was doing. “Oh, Jinyoungie, look at these lovebirds, they just arrived and already are glued to each other.” she giggled and you thought it’s time to say hi maybe since it seemed like they stood next to you now, but Junwon moved his hand to your cheek and kissed you more. “That’s what I meant, when I asked you to kiss me when they’ll bring out the cake.” Sona giggled awkwardly and you tapped Junwon’s shoulder so he’ll move back.

“I’m sorry, he’s just very annoying…” you giggled and looked at Sona. Junwon moved his hand to lay over your shoulder.

“Hi.” he said politely, shaking Jinyoung’s hand.

“Happy Birthday, Sona.” you said excitedly and she jumped clapping her hands, suddenly pulling you in for a hug. Your eyes met Jinyoung’s in action and you froze in Sona’s arms.

“I’m glad you came, the more guests the better. We’re going to have so much fun tonight.” she giggled into your ear. You felt Junwon pull you back and caress your side. “I rented this house for my sleep over themed party.”

“Oh, Jinyoung didn’t say anything about the theme.” even saying his name made you feel like you had little weights on your tongue.

“It’s fine, you don’t have to worry, we have pyjamas for everyone at the entrance, let’s go, it’s going to be so much fun.”

“Yeah, let’s go.” you chuckled too, letting Sona pull you with her.

You couldn’t hold back a chuckle when Jinyoung protested politely over putting the pyjamas she had prepared, only making you accept the pj’s ever so excitingly.

“Ya, Junwon, you actually look cool in these!” you chuckled turning to see him.

“It’s fine on you too.”

“Thanks.” you stretched out a smile.

“Jinyoung probably won’t wear the pj’s.” you said it not knowing exactly what you wanted to hear from him in reply.

“If he loves her, he’ll give in.” Junwon said mindlessly and extend his hand to get the bag with your clothes. He put both of them into their designated place with your names written under. His hand pulled you out of the room and your eyes immediately met Jinyoung. He stood there in his own clothes looking as handsome as ever. This was something you could never understand. You loved being with Junwon, you found him attractive and pretty, but Jinyoung just standing there not even looking your way made you feel breathless and insane.

“You think they fought?” you asked when Junwon pulled you towards the other side of the house.

“I don’t know. Let’s see what drinks they serve.”

“Should I find Sona?”

“No, she’s not even half close to being your friend.” he furrowed his eyebrows not understanding.

“But it would be just nice of me to do so, isn’t it?”

“No, you’re just trying to get your nose into their business, aren’t you?” you moved your eyes to the floor. “I’m right, so just let me distract you from your favourite Jinyoungie.”

“He’s not my favourite.”

“Sure.” he chuckled to himself.

“What are we going to do?”

“Drink first, then we’ll see what this sleepover party have in store.”

“Okay.” you nodded and walked calmly next to him.

“Everybody!” you heard Sona’s loud voice turning towards her to see her standing on the stool. “It’s time to play some sleepover classics, so everyone please gather in the living room that is on the right in 5 minutes.”

“We’re not going.” you cackled and turned back to Junwon.

“We are.”

“Why?” you furrowed your eyebrows and pulled him to sit back down when he began standing up.

“Cause I’m tired of sitting in this corner. You’re fun and all that but if we’re at a party, we might as well enjoy ourselves, right.” you couldn’t hold back your smile with the way he said it. “Are you standing up or what?”

“Will you carry me there?” you extended your arms towards him and made a childish face expression.

“No.” he laughed.

“But please?” you tried to act cuter but he ignored you completely, pulling you up to stand. You stood up and when his fingers pulled you to walk you stood there not moving, making him startled. Junwon turned around and looked at you confused while you were coming up with a plan in your head.

He walked around you and you thought he’ll push you from behind, when his hands squeezed your waist and raised you from the floor. “Wait, it hurts.” you giggled uncontrollably. He crossed the room quickly, allowing for you to stand back on your feet when he entered the living room Sona talked about. “Junwon, seriously.” you giggled loudly, hugging his waist in some sort of appreciation.

“Anything for my girlfriend, right?” he chuckled sarcastically and you kissed him slowly.

“I don’t want to play that, I’ll just watch.”

“Jinyoung, you already refused to wear the pj’s I prepared for you! Can you at least do something for me? It’s my birthday!” you heard Sona shout at him and pulled back immediately.

“Sona, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you.” his hand caressed her cheek. It caught your eye he was kind of drunk but tried to act like he wasn’t. “It’s your birthday, let’s not fight.” she nodded in reply quickly. Her hands wrapped around his neck and he kissed her quickly. “You know these things are not for me.” she looked at him with probably all of the cuteness she had in store. “Just this once, okay?”

“Yay.” she jumped excitedly again and pulled him to the centre of the room. “Everyone who wants to play, please sit down. We have a couple of games prepared for the night, but we’ll start with a classic. Seven minutes in heaven yall, please sit down in a circle!” she announced as if it was a big deal.

“We should probably sit in front of each other to get a chance to be picked by each other?” You suggested when Sona’s hand grabbed your elbow.

“You two are sitting next to us.” she giggled and practically forced you to sit. The circle formed so quickly you didn’t have the time to force Junwon to sit somewhere else.

“If you’re going to kiss someone there, I’ll kill you.” you giggled but still tried to make your voice sound like you are threatening him.

“Same goes to you, loser.” he kissed your temple and looked at Sona.

“Okay, simple rules, in case you don’t remember. You spin the bottle, whoever the bottle stops on goes with you for 7 minutes to another room. No phones, lights are off. You can do whatever comes to your mind, but please remember, we’ll come for you in 7 minutes.” she giggled. “You can’t disclose what went on in that room nor can you stay for any longer.”

She sat back down and gulped. “I almost said as a party owner I’ll spin the bottle first, but I’m already taken so I probably shouldn’t.” she giggled and turned to take a glance at Jinyoung who pursed his lips.

“Nah, Sona, you still can spin the bottle, it’s not necessary you do sexual things in that room, it’s your birthday, just start the game.” Junwon spoke up and you opened your eyes wider than before, turning your head to look at him confused. “My Y/n, is next to me too, so if I’ll get to spin the bottle I’ll probably have to go there with someone else too. Just spin it.” he said and made a weird movement with his hand.

“What?” you giggled and moved your face closer to his.

“I just said what I thought.” he chuckled

“Okay.” you nodded turning your attention back to Sona, who was placing the bottle in the middle now. She made a weird scream before spinning it and closed her face with her palms. You internally were hoping for her to do bad things, but you knew everything you wanted was wrong. The bottle stopped and you raised your eyes to see it land on one of her girlfriends. You sighed disappointed making Junwon giggle on your side. “It’s going to be boring 7 minutes.” you sighed.

“Probably because you’re thirty and not thirteen.” Junwon said rhetorically.

“Excuse me? You’re even older. It’s just that probably it would’ve been fun if I at least knew those people. Or if Sona went there with a guy. At least we could’ve felt excitement.”

“Cheating makes you excited?” Jinyoung’s low voice ran through your body in a second. “Interesting.” he made a low giggle. You pulled yourself together and turned to face him.

“I didn’t mean your girlfriend. Just in general.” you said annoyed.

“Okay.”

“I’m sure she loves you so don’t worry.”

“I’m not worried. She doesn’t make me worry all the time.”

“Okay…” you nodded “I didn’t ask though.”

“Right, it’s because you only ask things when it’s in your favour.”

“Are you trying to fight with me because you’re drunk and brave all of a sudden?” you blinked multiple times.

“Whatever.” he turned away from you and left you disappointed and upset. This didn’t look like the conversation you planned in your head.

“He fought with Sona, forced to do something he didn’t want to, I guess he’s just upset.”

“Why are you on his side?”

“I’m just trying to make you feel better.” Junwon’s hand pulled you in to lay your head against his shoulder. You kissed the spot where his jaw met his ear and closed your eyes. “I’m trying to come up with a mathematical way of spinning the bottle so it’ll stop on either of us.” he said in a minute making you smile.

“How’s it going?”

“Pretty shitty.” you giggled and closed your eyes back.

“I’m not giving up and trying to come up with ways to make this game fun for both of us.”

“But do you think… you’ll kiss someone there or more…?” you asked suddenly and raised your head.

“I know no one, so I don’t know. You?”

“Me too.” it suddenly hit you “I mean, are you discussing with your girlfriend who you’d kiss?!”

“Oh, sh… no.” it looked like it struck him suddenly. “I’m just kidding, you asked the question.” you sighed and just hoped Jinyoung didn’t try to listen to your conversation. “Sona’s back.” Junwon whispered quickly.

Everyone got excited and Sona sat back down giggling, laying her hand atop of Jinyoung’s knee. “It’s nothing.” she smiled at him and got back to the game.

Her friend spun the bottle and went away with a guy, the guy spun the bottle next and it stopped in front of the girl Sona went in the room with. You couldn’t hold back the boredom and began chatting with Junwon about everything and anything, trying to keep it quiet but failing miserably every time he made a joke.

“Hey, lovebirds, it’s on you.” Sona tapped your shoulder and the both of you realised every person in that circle was staring at you two.

“Huh?”

“Junwon, it’s on you.” Sona spoke again and your eyes landed on the bottle that directly pointed at him. You turned your head to look at him and pouted. You now genuinely wondered if he’d kiss the girl that was about to go in the room with him.

“Have a great time.” you smirked being startled by him kissing the top of your head when he stood up.

When you tried to fish your phone out of your pocket Sona pulled in to you.

“This is nerve racking, right?”

“No, why?” you looked at her confused.

“Wow, you trust your boyfriend so much.” she said amazed and you felt genuinely confused.

“Do you not trust yours?”

“No, no. I do, I thought maybe because you don’t know anyone you’d feel worried, I’m glad you don’t. All these people are my friends so I’m very calm if Jinyoung will be picked.”

“Cool.” you smiled and tried to end the conversation there.

“You two look very cute together, I’m glad you’re happy. Jinyoung said you had a very hard time and that he was worried, I’m just glad you’re doing great.”

“Oh, he did? What else did he say?”

“Oh, no, don’t be worried, he didn’t say anything in particular, I wouldn’t want him to disclose your secrets. Don’t worry.”

“Okay.” you nodded and turned away.

“Hi.” you felt Junwon’s palm on your shoulder in a minute.

“Hey.” you tried to see signs on his face but he looked casual.

“You have to spin the bottle!” the girl he went with exclaimed.

“Oh right.” he sighed. “Let’s change the rules.”

“How?” Sona asked confused.

“I’ll spin the bottle, but twice. Once for a boy and once for a girl, it’s boring to go there twice like that. The ones that’ll be picked will go there.”

“Oh, okay.” she nodded.

“This sounds like so much fun.” someone said and Junwon spun it pleased. You watched the bottle spin and get slower and even more slower when it stopped in front of you.

“Is this your mathematical way to get us there together?” you squeezed your eyes and he chuckled.

“I’m not sure, let’s see.” he spun the bottle once again. You didn’t realise you were squeezing his palm harshly until he laid his other hand atop. “Hey, what’s up?”

“I’m hating you for picking me.” you said annoyed when the bottle slowed down a little too far to stop on him.

“I’m sorry.” he chuckled and you sighed hopelessly, closing your eyes when the bottle almost stopped at a random guy you didn’t even know the name of. “Or maybe I’m not.”

“Oh my god!” Sona exclaimed and you opened your eyes confused. “Jinyoung, Y/n - leave.” she said quickly.

“Did you do it on purpose?” you wanted to kill Junwon very badly.

“How would I? It’s a given I guess.” Junwon patted your back. “Won’t you kiss me? Don’t forget I’m your boyfriend.”

“I’ll kill you when I’m back.” you slapped his hand away.

Walking up to the small closet, that Sona referred to as a room, you three were quiet as ever. You sat on the floor in the corner, watching Sona lock the door behind Jinyoung.

“Time start! I’ll come back in 7 minutes!” she giggled and walked away.

You could see nothing in this darkness, only hearing Jinyoung’s heavy breathing.

“Something happened?” you asked when silence began choking you.

“What? No.”

“You’re good then, right? You seem upset.”

“I’m fine.” he said shortly.

“Okay, why did you get drunk like that then?”

“Am I not allowed to drink?” he asked pretentiously.

“It just doesn’t seem like you.”

“People change.”

“Maybe you’re right, you wouldn’t speak to me like that if you were the same.” you concluded and stopped talking.

“Looks like I can finally ask you the question you asked me before.”

“What question?” you said confused.

“How did it feel when you realised you don’t love me anymore? Refreshing?” he said sarcastically and you couldn’t understand what this all was about. He spoke like he blamed you for something. You wanted to talk back at him, maybe fight but then realised he was just doing exactly the same you did to him. He probably just tried to make you understand how you made him feel. You snapped back to reality and felt yourself get upset. You felt a single tear pave the way for all those others, making them stream down your face.

“Didn’t I disappear and let you live your life the way you wanted to? Why would you invite me here? Why would you talk to me like this? Why would you make me realise all over again how much I love you?” you wiped the tears off your face, standing up. “I’ll just knock on the door so they’ll let us out earlier.”

“Wait.” Jinyoung held onto your wrist, forcing for you to sit down again. The space was too small and even though you tried to sit back you still kind of sat on his legs. “What about Junwon? Why you said this?”

“Why you care?”

“Just tell me, isn’t this room created for this.”

“No.”

“Why?”

“You just want to hear that I still love you.” Jinyoung moved his hand from your wrist to your waist, his other hand landed onto your cheek.

“You do?”

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