#It's a monotropic thinking problem

[rorah]

What are your favorite ships for Edelgard and Claude? I think your favorite Dimitri ship is obvious

🤔

hummm.. Ok, first of all, how do you know which one is my fav Dimitri ship? lol I need silliness in my life, okay? I actually don't have any favorite ship for those two (sadly). I mean I've tried to think about which one i like best or if the dynamic hit my interests/taste, but I still haven't reach that point tbh 😅. SO I essentially could be okay with any of their ships?(more or less). Except for my NTPs regarding those 3 lol. But I rather avoid talking about NTPs 😅😅😅 (just in case someone here, likes them) I think the main issue is that I am not really a person who focus on ships too much (or don't care much abt shipping) But when a ship knocks my door, most of my energy and time will be invested in that thing 😅

[bravegrumpy]

-- Edited:

Replaced the screen-capture images with a much higher resolution image

[conceptuma]

I love fucking my OCs I mean I love my OCs fucking each other I mean I fucking love OCs

[ittybittybattyart]

Finally beat everything from Pokemon scarlet and I’m hyperfixating on it haha, I’ve always loved Pokemon and I’m so glad I got to play this, the last gen I played was 7 (moon(Guzma my beloved)

There’s a lot of characters I like from this game that I’m hoping to draw (Rika, Geeta, Jacq, Hassel, Brassius, Ryme, Carmine, Drayton, Amarys, Giacomo, Eri) but I thought I’d start with one of my absolute faves Kieran! (Tied with Arven)

I really resonated with Kieran and Arven, it’s so cool to see the improvement in the storytelling/character writing with Pokemon, I hope they keep it up and keep improving too!

Semi personal rambling of why I relate to this dude under the cut

If this game had come out when I was a tween/teen I would’ve resonated even more with Kieran than I do now, since I was dealing with a lot of similar stuff at that time.

I’ve gotten to a much better place with myself and situation in the last five or so years, most of these unless otherwise said aren’t things I really struggle with anymore but I was so reminded of my younger self while playing through Kierans story

The self esteem problems and wanting to prove others wrong about what they think of me, the passive and overt bullying from others, the need of validation from others, especially those I admired/envied. Additionally the constant setbacks in life and trying to achieve my goals despite it and the envy of other people’s lives that seemed easier than mine

… also some of the obsessive tendencies just like generally, I'm extremely monotropic so its VERY difficult to get me to focus on something I'm not fixated on already, I will talk about it without even realizing and do it for days/weeks/months its still something that really effects me, I'll fixate so hard i dont sleep much for weeks and forget to eat/drink kind of levels, I've always been like this (AuDHD)(I'm working on taking breaks and self care in this regard tho)

Therapy really helped/helps (Kieran please go to therapy lol)

[scrawlingwithstyle]

I am a tangled-up yarn ball of stress & anxiety today.

My boss wrote me up yesterday bc I keep missing when customers come in.

Today, I missed one again.

I use my phone to keep myself occupied when there are no customers bc in the afternoon, there is No Other Work to do. But if I keep getting distracted I'm gonna lose my phone privileges.

The problem is that the real problem isn't my phone. It's my inability to split my attention, and my very unfortunate talent of shutting out the world (dissociating).

So even if I don't use my phone, and I have nothing to do while I watch for customers, what will likely happen is this: I'm gonna stare at the door & think doing-my-job thoughts. I'm gonna get bored. Then I'm gonna dissociate So Hard that a customer could walk in while I'm looking at the door, and I still won't notice that they are there until they wave in my face or ring the bell.

My ADHD coworker does not have any of these problems, because she for not suffer from monotropism like I do.

AND I have classes starting in 10 days. How tf am I going to have time for homework if I can't do it at work like my coworker?? I'm gonna have to go to the library or something until I get all my homework done, and THEN go home, 'cause God knows I can't actually do homework at home.

[valadren]

I got a 202 and I don't know why I keep taking these things. I feel like reading all the material on monotropism I just did, or the very, very close to home details in the pamphlet on internal presentations for autism have been precluded by a longstanding paranoia about confirmation bias. I cannot feel like I can ever truly trust an assessment of my own mental health because I can't prove beyond a reasonable doubt that there's some part of me that has fixated on this as some kind of profound answer to all of my life's problems and am therefore subconsciously manipulating the data to prove this. I think this may be why I struggle to be direct in any self-diagnosis publicly. Among other things.

hey I want to see something

take this quiz (https://dlcincluded.github.io/MQ/) and then tell me about your score.

if you're autistic plus another overlapping type of neurodivergent, choose the autistic option. self diagnoses are valid.

choose other neurodivergent if you are neurodivergent but not autistic. again, self diagnoses are valid.

check out the monotropism theory of autism (https://monotropism.org/)

[mirandamckenni1]

AuDHDer takes the Monotropism test Monotropism, a cognitive theory explaining autism, suggests that autistic individuals intensely focus on singular interests, leading to deep expertise and unique problem-solving skills while often struggling to shift attention to broader, less engaging tasks. In this video, I take the monotropism test and see if that aligns with my own cognitive style. Take the test with me: https://ift.tt/gMye4sH Original study: https://osf.io/wpx5g/ Yo Samdy Sam LINKS ✨ WORKBOOK "So You Think You're Autistic": https://ift.tt/Ame1CZ4 Mailing list: https://ift.tt/6LMo9O2 Work with me (ND business owners): https://ift.tt/2l5Tt4y Merch store: https://ift.tt/dBe4nTZ via YouTube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H4LWdyhRxIQ

[soysaucevictim]

Now just thinking about how a recent psych appt did have OCD being discussed.

But I just think I'm just generally an anxious person w/ autistic traits like monotropism. I don't have have the need to do rituals Or Else Something Bad Will Happen (like is case w/ most forms of the condition). I don't think I have Pure O - in that I don't really experience scrupulosity or highly distressing, repetitive catastrophizing spirals (though have occasional twinges there - it's not a severely ego-dystonic Problem for me). *Shrugs.*

I do give credence to what it probably looks like to the clinician. But I've almost always have had some kind of anxiety and/or depressive disorder on my charts. Sooo-

[strawberrykaon]

Yeessss

Distracting is a common coping mechanism. In small amounts it can be a positive. But for a lot of people with ADHD it often become a significant problem. Ruminating being one of the main problems for adhders. Distraction can honestly keep your mind from jumping to negative thinking patterns. Which can just throw you through emotional hell. (Emotional impulsively is a thing in ADHD too!)

(It's actually pretty common in autism too, probably something to do with monotropism. And unlike usually where my ADHD and autism try to fight for dominance. They sure do work together with ruminating.)

(x)

Unfortunately I'm all that familiar with fulgrim. I get the jist. But not enough to understand his inner workings. (So yeah don't worry too much at not having the most knowledge on everything 40k/HH. I do the same thing with Mortarion and the DG.) But I thought it was important to leave here.

Fulgrim I believe after the emperor found him struggled to fit in as a high lord. Feeling inadequate as just a factory worker turned planetary leader. He wanted to live up to his father's ideals of him.

Perfectionism probably started early back to his childhood. Mixed with feelings of proving his right to allowed to live and environment if you screwed up, your entire community could just not eat that day. Not an environment to lose focus. Probably more but as far as I know fulgrim's background before the emperor can only be summed up in a paragraph. Unfortunately.

But yeah he probably could mask exceptionally well. Party due to being a primarch.

But something more concrete is his demon possessions. Lore always states it's a traumatic as hell experience and suggested to change you on some level in the warp. That few survive being freed from. And in fulgrim's case, lead to the death of the brother he was the closest too.

Is it any wonder that Fulgrim fell into addiction as well? Distractions to block out rumination of what happened to him? What he did?

Drug addiction is unfortunately pretty common in ND people, including ADHD. Depressants to reduce everything down. Then stimulants. These drugs are god send for people with ADHD. Even being able to have a positive benefit on other mental disorders for an adhder. In depression it is actually recommended. (I believe it can reduce symptoms up to 50% but I can't find the article again.) But that's under care of a dr.

For the EC and Fulgrim it could have started out as self medication. Then spiralled from there.

Unrelated but not really. Executive dysfunction I find gets worse with other health concerns in the background. Including mental illness. A reason we might not have seen Fulgrim till recently is how bad it currently is.

EC (along with some of the other primarchs like Mortarion) in general can be a pretty good starting point on how the Imperium treats disability. It's tolerance (it is tolerance, Imperium is pretty eugenic outside of admech stuff), varies on how well it can feed you to the meat grinder. As well as your position in society. The Imperium is pretty happy to replace a comisar's arm. But a low level soldier, they'll throw right onto the street, often to become homeless. It's easy enough to replace you. Attitudes/treatment towards the mentally ill probably mostly fall around 1900-1960. Anf a lot of attitudes towards disability did pass onto ex-imperuim chaos.

(edit: I think I worded this ph a little weird and didn't explain this well. So if you think this is off it probably is.)

OCD could also come into play. I find the reason why my OCD developed was partly as a checking compulsion to manage my ADHD. It could come into with the perfectionism. I don't know if the EC fall into any Obsessive thinking patterns. Intrusive thoughts. Which could be pure O. Then with typical or atypical compulsions.

This graph from nocd is a pretty good place to start to identify it it characters. (Unrelated but Guy Haley deserves the world for creating a non cleaning/order OCD character. But a religious OCD character.)

Also combat stims are Adderall for an astartes.

(Wow this got longer and technical than I thought it would be. Not that is a bad thing. But yeah this post started out as a think piece but it's becoming something more personal as time goes on. I'm audhd with dyslexia. My dyslexia was helped pretty well. But ADHD it's just the P L A N N E R and meds. Then I was diagnosed with autism till I was 18. So I only got a few months of help. But not really as it wasn't the program's main focus. So yeah not getting adequate help has definitely affected me. Don't want to get too long with this on this post. But yeah.)

I think autistic primarchs would present very differently than in a baseline human. Its so much easier to cover up or explain away.

Like if Mortarion goes semi- verbal, he still sounds normal. But very stilted for a primarch. Its different from when I can only maybe say three words at a time. Usually I can only go "I don't know" or "no", or "go away". For him it's still full length sentences, like "I think I just need to be alone now". That can easily be explained to be exhaustion. But in reality he can't vocalize anything more complex right now.

Guilliman has be scripting since a child but no one notices. He just has over 100 scripts memorized for any occasion. Any question or change in the conversation. He already has a script lined up. He's capable of memorizing it. Conversations happen so naturally, you can't even tell the difference.

Even the way they stim can be so different to a baseline. Probably in ways a baseline can't comprehend. Traits like increased pattern recognition are standard in a primarch. All primarchs are far more "higher functioning" than any baseline.

Being behind their brothers developmentally by a few weeks is nothing compared to a baseline. What's walking at two months when most humans are closer to a year old when they start. Sure the other primarchs were walking much sooner. Some right out of the pod. But they often reached adulthood far sooner than any human. What constitutes a development delay to a primarch. If an apothecary can't tell what's a high blood pressure level in Guilliman. How can you tell?

Exhaustion that so many autistic face is so off from a baseline. They need less sleep. They can go through periods without rest for far longer. I think in cases like Mortarion, he can just push through an autistic burnout. Sure he's a bit more irritable, among other things. But hey, the point of a shutdown won't hit him till a few decades later. So therefore he must have high energy levels then even his brothers. Despite the toll on his mental health. Plus their recovery times are far shorter. Guilliman needs just a few days to feel normal after a year long campaign after all. Doesn't matter how he was acting prior. Any strange behavior can be hand waved away.

Mental conditioning can be used to suppress sensory overload. No point in having your super solider curl up screaming because he has super hearing. And you threw him into an active warzone. Lets make sure you can't process that information in way that would harm you. (Plus I think as a rule primarchs have a tendency to be more sensory seeking than sensory avoidant.)

Hell even their positions in the imperial society could make it easier to mask. If Perturabo wants something done in a certain way, you are going to do it that way. You're just some 25 year old iron warrior or serf that needs to follow command. Plus you don't know best compared to a primarch.

Of course they mask in typical ways. Mortarion hasn't rocked when upset since he was young. Because Nacrae told him that he should avoid such weakling behavior. Or still show more obvious traits like Dorn's flatter speaking style. (IDK how true this is but everyone says this and I'm not too familiar with Dorn to say otherwise.)

Also I like to imagine that the Emperor intentionally placed Autism into some of his designer babies. Thinking he could "avoid all the negatives but only gain those traits that would benefit them greatly." Only for his patience to slowly be drained. Like Perturabo having a meltdown while Dorn is trying to get the two of them to work together. But he's lost the ability to mask what little he does. And is just going, "We are to conclude this activity in an hour. I have to calibrate the ships sensors in an hour and half. You have already wasted 10 minutes. We must refocus so we can conclude in an hour..."

The problem start when understanding what's going on under the surface. Or when you start comparing them to their brothers. But hey you're below understanding what a primarch is thinking. And all the primarchs are little off. They're demigods. What makes these one's so different. Doesn't help they themselves won't consider it themselves. Or even be insulted by the implication. I'm not an invalid. Don't be ridiculous.

(I used Perturabo, Dorn, and Guilliman here because they're the common ones head cannoned as autistic. I went with Mortarion as well because I decided to just go with it. I know him the best. Plus this is all just headcannon. Just to be clear. Reasoning being his kids tend to present with a flat personality anyways. Also heard Mortarion was always behind his brothers, so developmental delays?? Idk yet where they got that in lore yet. Trying to get through all the books is a lot. Plus his other strange behaviors. But it could just be poor socialization as a child mixed with mental illness. Could also just be all three too. But more than these four could be autistic is my point. Sorry if this post was rambling or unclear. Or if anyone has done this before. I just wanted to get my thoughts out on the subject.)

[kayas-kosmos]

Autism Symbol Dragon.

This is the autism symbol as a dragon. I did this to represent the influence my autism has on my art. This is a public domain drawing and anyone can use it for any reason.

I really like the infinity autism symbol over all others, especially the Godawful puzzle piece. It really encapsulates the diversity of our community and how unique every autistic individual is. But I wanted to do a little spin on it by turning it into a dragon to add some extra meaning. A dragon to me is the symbol of the imagination itself, since dragons are so diverse in of themselves and can look like or represent anything. But as well as imagination, I think the dragon also represent resilience and a ferocious passion.

My webcomic is absolutely full of different types of dragon. Here are just a few examples:

(Can you tell dragons are one of my special interests?)

I was diagnosed at about 3 and I've had a very mixed relationship with being autistic until recently. There was a time when I really hated having to bear the label of “autistic” and tried for years to erase that part of me because of the stigma. Being an artist allowed me to get away with being a bit weird because I could chalk it up to just being "an eccentric artist," but there was also the side of me that needed extra accommodations and help, the less glamorous side. I would often push myself to be as neurotypical as I could in these areas and I developed a debilitating fear of becoming a burden on others, to the point where it started damaging my mental health. Eventually, I developed panic attacks due to overworking myself (and struggles with accepting myself as queer), autistic shutdowns became more frequent and this lead to further humiliation and a further disgust towards my autism.

It wasn't until I became a freelancer a few years ago that I realised how much damage trying to hold myself to neurotypical standards was having on me. While being able to work remotely was a dream since it meant not having to deal with the sensory nightmare that is using the local bus service, it also meant I experienced autistic burnout more frequently. Then I came across the autistic community on Twitter, where I started to discover so much about myself and how my brain works.

I also made a lot of incredible friends through this and even had the courage to publicly come out as queer. Now I fully embrace being autistic, even the parts that society deems “unacceptable” like stimming and not making eye contact. I am happy in who I am and no longer see myself as a burden.

Sadly, there is often a discussion about whether autism should be cured or not, a discussion that should absolutely not be happening because autism is not a disease. If you "cured" my autism, you would also remove my art. My art and my autism are inseparable and one does not exist without the other. Autism has given me the ability to think outside the box and traits like my monotropism allow me to hyperfocus on a project until its completion. Having spoken to many autistic creatives throughout my life, a good chunk of our struggles do not come from being autistic itself, rather society’s refusal to accept or accommodate us. Many of us could achieve great things and truly innovate society, but there are too many systemic barriers in the way preventing us from doing so, and no amount of “hard work” or “conquering our disability” (fuck inspiration porn, seriously) can change that because individualistic solutions do not fix systemic problems. Simple solutions such as disability benefits that actually properly cover our living costs, a higher wage for carers of disabled people and proper work accommodations (including the option for remote work) would mean the world of difference for us.

Now personally, I am a bit more radical in my thinking and I believe the current system of Neoliberal Capitalism needs to be done away with entirely because ableism is built into Capitalism itself. This is what has drawn me to ideas such as anarchism and the Solarpunk movement. In particular, I try to live by the "12 principles of Permaculture" to the best of my ability. I think "Embrace Diversity" and "Produce No Waste" can be applied to living as a disabled person, since disabled people are often seen as a waste product under this system and embracing our differences means we are not wasted.

For those of you who have followed me for a while, you may have noticed that my art, like me, is weird. I love to embrace the weird and the quirky. My creatures are whimsical and bizarre. My characters all tend to be quirky outsiders. I have always been drawn to surrealism and absurdism, the work of Salvador Dali in particular really caught my attention.

Art has always been a safe way for me to explore the unusual and alien, and it has been a voice for me when speaking words fail. I use it to explore the things that frighten me and to help process a chaotic world. As weird as my art is, I think the weirdness and absurdity is a reflection of how weird and absurd our modern world is and how little sense it makes to me anymore.

There are often themes of environmentalism and the profound beauty of nature, influenced heavily by growing up in an area of natural beauty. Furthermore, the theme of "empathy for monsters" is a personal favourite. Maybe the reason why there are so many weird, twisted and grotesque monsters and creatures with tragic backstories in my webcomic universe is because I see myself in them - just weird little off-putting things that want compassion and to be understood.

As I have grown as a person, so has my art. The more I learn about my autism, the more I can open up and the better I can express myself.

On a final note, if you would like to support me and the work I do, please consider donating a Ko-Fi. It would really help me push towards my goal of finally launching my webcomic, plus it would also allow me to talk more about important topics surrounding disability, sustainable living and art/creature stuff.

Happy new year, everyone! And especially to all of my autistic and neurodivergent comrades out there.

[stimpunks]

Six Things Educators Must Know About Neurodivergent People

Six Things Educators Must Know About Neurodivergent People

Here are six things we think every educator must know about neurodivergent people. By understanding these, we make “all means all” more meaningful. Spiky Profiles Monotropism Double Empathy Problem Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria Exposure Anxiety Situational Mutism Table of ContentsSpiky ProfilesMonotropism & the Double Empathy ProblemExposure Anxiety, Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, and…

[cl0udpup]

Autism and developmental delays

I asked a question on Autistic Twitter yesterday, and got a ton of response. I will share my post and some responses here.

The post

Is it possible to be autistic if you didn’t have learning, speaking, or movement delays as a child?

The responses

“It is possible. Processing differences leaning towards monotropism is a core component though that type of processing doesn’t always show up as delays. Most Autistics I know do have “spiky profiles” where we have some major strengths but some foundational skills are low.

I was a late reader but had a hyperlexic vocabulary. I was in reading and math special ed. I didn’t read at all. Then one night my mom was in the middle of reading a book to me and lost her voice. I picked it up and just started reading. 0-60.”

“Definitely! I didn't have those problems & whilst I wasn't diagnosed until 55, in hindsight it was obvious from early childhood. The DSM diagnostic criteria badly need updating & too many alleged professionals still rely on stereotypes like "All Autistics have X & can't do Y".”

“The ways I am "advanced" showed up earlier than the ways I am "behind" average development. Probably in part because the "bad effects" of autism are cumulative little abuses, so I had less to battle against just to exist back then.

It seems like a lot of autistics become aware of it/first start feeling a major increase in disconnect when other kids start growing out of 'kid' behaviors and start looking at the autistics weird for just...continuing on the same path that had been fine before.”

“You can be hyperlexic or dyslexic, have a good command of words+expression, but the difference (from my understanding) is: lack of sense-perception filtering, monotropism and social codes. Anything else stems from these in variations and intensities add personality.”

“Delays are more commonly signs of intellectual disability which is often comorbid, but you don't "need" them to be autistic.”

“I don't think of delayed vs nondelayed development as a central or essential part of how DSM5 approaches autism.  Language and communication differences include pragmatics which often flies under the clinical radar.”

“Yes, I had no apparent delays as a child. I spoke early, am hyperlexic so my reading ability was beyond my classmates, academically I was quick.  I did struggle with pretend play but no one noticed. My eye contact was poor and I was just seen as shy.

I struggled more in secondary. I took things literally and was rigid about schedules. Most of my issues came out as an adult. I struggled with transition to work, didn't get work place banter. I developed really bad OCD and I burntout at 24. I was diagnosed at 25. A psychiatrist noticed I was autistic.”

My personal context

I was talking and reading early; books at age four, and conversing at 18 months. No issues with crawling, walking, waving hello when I was supposed to. I did toe-walk, but that’s all I remember being pointed out.

Once I got to preschool and kindergarten, I was extremely shy, anxious, but wasn’t marked as having special needs. I was smart, but bored by school.

As I got older, I liked other kids, liked making friends, extremely nice, empathetic, didn’t easily clock bullying. I still struggle w that as I take things at face value, don’t notice if someone’s being mean with sarcasm, passive aggressiveness, or having an ulterior motive.

Even though I liked other kids, I always felt like there was this wall I couldn’t get past. I felt like an outsider, like more like an observer in groups than part of it.

Older people and adults called me mature for my age, or said I seemed depressed, or teased me for being sensitive. I think I was detached, ending up compartmentalizing the “real me” and the one who had to be strong.

I had violent meltdowns as long as I can remember. It felt like everything was spinning, and I was alone, overstimulated, like everything I kept hidden would come to a boiling point and I just burst at the seams. It felt like nothing would ever be okay again.

I’d get punished for these meltdowns (and hit as a toddler.) I eventually started turning my outward chaotic energy inward; SH, dissociation, withdrawing. This made me even “weirder”, but as a teen I guess I tried to embrace it.

I was extremely rebellious, always in trouble, picked on, did not understand authority, could not stand being patronized, felt like an alien, did not understand why I had such huge emotions, or what they meant, or how to reckon w them. And no one would put up w them.

I started using drugs and alcohol at age 13. I barely made it through high school. I planned on dropping out at 16, when it was legal to do so in my state, but managed to stick it out.

I stayed in party scenes up until age ~30. I felt like less of an outsider surrounded by other “weird” kids, especially because we were always intoxicated, so the ND behaviors were masked by, or attributed to, being high/drunk.

I bounced around friend groups, at my school, and random people I met partying, online, or through other friends. I was extremely outgoing, and definitely see now that connecting people was part of sensation seeking for me. I was direct, and had no problem asking random people to hang out.

It was even easier because I always wanted to share my drugs/booze, and found this to be a great method of breaking the ice. Because of that, most of my friendships (all of them once I got into high school) were based around using.

I’m realizing now that I could be very “head in the clouds” when it came to noticing when people found me weird or didn’t want to be around me. I never understood it back then, but would get very hurt when I’d frequently be left out of things. It didn’t end, even through my twenties.

There were all these people I thought I was friends with, but I’d consistently be left out when the groups got together. I wasn’t a part of it. My therapist said this is common for people with ADHD, as inattentiveness, boredom, sensation seeking keeps us moving around and not as easily committing to one group or person or scene to stick with.

I really didn’t understand back then why I’d get left out, and it led me to having bad feelings towards groups that would exclude me. So, I withdrew, and found new friends, and continued bouncing around. I tried to be very “not give a fuck” and keep it moving.

Once I graduated high school, I quickly went into my career (sex work) and totally absorbed myself in that. It felt great to have something that no one else I grew up around was involved in. It was easy for me because sex work is acting! I fucking love acting. I researched the type of character I wanted to portray, studied body language, dialogue, took notes, read books, took online courses, it became my whole life. I have a lot to say about that, but will save it for another post.

One last point on my lack of perception on myself in high school. In my 20s, I ran into a woman I went to school with who was now in the same greater social scene as me. She was intoxicated and blabbing and told me “Yeah, you know, I used to think you were sooo weird, but maybe you actually had things figured out back then.” So, that’s that.

Now that I’m sober, I’m starting to get some real perspective. Now that my real self is not clouded by substances, I feel I’m able to understand myself better, and analyze my life for answers.

Thanks to anyone reading, for accompanying me on this portion of my journey.

[frances-kafka]

The autists I identify with tend to also be ADHD, or were dx'd ADHD before autism, but also tend not to fit the "female autism" pattern. I think that certain autistic styles tend to hang out in specific places. I relate to autists I meet in open source culture and some harder sci fi spaces. I do not relate to many of the autists I meet on Twitter. AT ALL. I do not relate to women who identify with modern writing about autistic women. AT ALL. I DO relate to writings by autistic women *during the 1990s and early 00s.* I don't even present the same way and don't even feel like I have the same primary deficits/disabilities. I'm not emotional, I am not hyperempathic (let alone empathic), etc. I am able to comprehend social dynamics and I was quick to pattern-match them from a young age. Actually this was problematic because you're not supposed to point out that you see the people around you as phonies and social climbers or that people suck up to some people while downgrading others. A giant chunk of my social learning has felt like learning to hide what I know. I can be intelligent enough about social situations to have been able to write stories about them as a child, and analyze what was going on between adults. But it doesn't translate to being able to include myself, because of the processing and the deficits I have that bar my participation in many actual group activities, and the issues with spontaneity/rigidity and certain strong personal preferences that keep me from doing certain other activities. Monotropism *is* the dominant social issue I have, which can make it difficult to interact with autists who *don't* share the same monotropism about the same things. I experience it as a functionally impairing issue given it's been a problem at many jobs when I can't actually work in something I can focus on. At the same time, the thing I'm monotropic about, is like a connective tissue that holds my whole psyche together and which acts as a connective mesh for everything I learn. I experience it as relationally impairing when I lose friends and don't even notice, or look up and I've been emotionally distancing from my partner for 4 months, because I've been so involved in my thing. Literally everything I experience as socially impairing with allistics is also socially impairing with autists. Sometimes it's worse, because it's two sets of persnicketiness to accommodate, and having my social support net be based upon other autists is not... a reliable life way tbh. I haven't honestly been able to get meaningful support from other autists because they're way too often also down at the same time.

selection effects on perceptions of autism

i think the emphasis on social behaviors in autism is probably way overblown.

if you’re interacting with someone whose cognition and perceptions are unusual, you don’t have the opportunity to directly observe their cognition and perceptions. but you have lots of opportunity to directly observe their social behaviors. so if their cognition and perception have any sort of effect on their social behaviors, it’s going to look like whatever weird thing is going on with them is inherently social.

and that’s not the only bias we should expect if our model of autism derives primarily from the observations of clinicians.

imagine you’re a therapist of some kind, and an autistic person shows up in your office. what is there to notice about them?

there’s the way they greet you. they way they talk, their vocabulary and sentence structure. the awkward feeling when they respond in unexpected ways to your non-verbal social signals, or fail to take turns in conversation. the way they move, how they rock back and forth or flap their hands or make other repetitive movements. the way they tend to repeat everything you say. the way they keep talking about horticulture session after session despite your every attempt to change the topic. the way they cover their eyes and start yelling when you turn the lights on or forget to hide your yellow jacket, but don’t react at all to the sound of their mother calling their name from the doorway. the way they melt down when you ask to meet at a different time next week.

you see the same behavior patterns over and over in this certain group of clients. so autism appears to be a condition characterized by 1) social deficits in emotional reciprocity, nonverbal communication, and social participation in general; 2) repetitive movements and speech patterns, 3) unusual intense focus on highly restricted interests, 4) something really odd about how they react to sensory inputs from the environment, and 5) insistence on sameness or rigid adherence to ritualized behavior patterns.

i have blind-men-touching-an-elephant feels about this description of autism. or maybe even looking-for-your-keys-under-the-lamp-post,-even-though-that’s-not-where-you-dropped-them,-because-you-can-see-here,-and-over-where-you-dropped-them-it’s-all-dark feels.

…except like it’s not even an elephant but instead some kind of enormous dinosaur with parts that are way too high up to reach. if people try to figure out what it is by touching its feet, one person says “it’s a thing with claws”, and another person says “no, it’s a thing with feathers”, and a third person who’s very clever responds, “the underlying truth is that it’s a thing with both claws and feathers”. eventually everyone agrees that whatever the thing is, it has claws and/or feathers of various types and to varying degrees. (which just clears everything right up, yeah?)

when you can only touch its feet, there’s no way to draw a picture of anything like the real animal, because nearly all of it is out of reach. your drawing will be all feathers and claws, and no torso or tail or head or teeth. you’re not *wrong* that dinosaurs tend to have feathers and claws, but you’re missing the true shape of things anyway.

importantly, a dinosaur would have a hellofa time recognizing itself in your drawing. especially an unusually tall dinosaur, or a dinosaur with few feathers, or one who’s been filing their claws way down since age five.

autism is a cognitive/perceptual style that *impacts* socialization, movement, speech patterns, conversation topics, reactions to sensory inputs, and preferences about order and sameness. but *none* of those factors carves reality at its joints.

[thecpdiary]

Others working with me

It is important others understand and work with me, around my autism. Something I also have to do. My being autistic was made worse because I never understood that’s what it was. I was always expected to conform. It is important that everyone who isn’t autistic understands those who are. Having and dealing with autism is made all the more difficult and confusing for us, because we don’t always understand how we present. We just know how we are and that's not something we can change.

With autism coping with more than one information stream is difficult. If my mind is focused on something else, and someone is talking to me, I don’t always take in what they’re saying. If I am focused on something for too long, I need to mentally rest, so my brain doesn’t switch off trying to take in too much information.

When it comes to conversations and communication, people automatically assume gestures, tone of voice and eye contact are something I can do with ease. They also assume I have an ability to hold other things in mind, such as social rules, social context and relevant background facts. For most people this works most or all of the time; but can cause endless confusion in conversations between autistic and non-autistic people.

I find it difficult to let go of issues that concern or upset me, my mind is always drawn back to those. Because of autism, I can’t let those go, other times I filter issues out completely. Filtering is an active process, and it becomes much less effective when my attention or resources are consumed elsewhere. When I’m tired my filters tend to work at their worst.

Filtering is difficult. I find it difficult to switch between tasks. It takes time and effort for me to change direction. In other words, my autistic brain has a lot of inertia and resists a change in state. A sudden change of plan means I have to completely reset and work out how to deal with a change in circumstance and that can make me panicked, particularly if I’m asked to deal with someone I hardly know.

I experience things intensely, usually related to concerns, to the point of making me feel panicked. When my attention is fully focused on something, my brain throws everything it can at it. My senses are more intense than others. For example, unexpected input unnerves me. It might be something sudden, or something doesn’t seem to fit.

I find it impossible to let go of concerns that I can’t find a resolve on, so I find it hard to let things drop, or to wait to see how things go. Someone’s reassurance doesn’t help. Situations or conversations can be confusing, so I often have lots of unanswered questions. Sometimes a question might have been answered, but with a delayed reaction it means I don’t always hear it, so I have to ask again.

Things that drop out of my awareness usually stay dropped. It’s hard for me to keep tabs or my attention on lots of things at once, multi-tasking is impossible. I across as indifferent, awkward just because my brain fails to acknowledge, understand or act on things.

All of these features are a manifestation of a monotropic thinking style, because I have autism. It’s no wonder I have anxiety, confusion and often feel overwhelmed. If people don’t accommodate my needs, problems accumulate. When that happens, with brain overload that’s when I shut down.

For more inspirational, life-changing blogs, please check out my site https://www.thecpdiary.com

[mirandamckenni1]

Why Can't You Find a Job as an Autistic Person? | Autistic Advice I have a new Patreon! Join before the 12th of November and I'll send you a membership badge: https://ift.tt/s3nyPrm If you want to learn more about the Patreon community, I have a video tour!: https://youtu.be/ClgG_9J9cTE 💛WATCH NEXT💛: If you missed last week's video (someone on Reddit threw away their partner's Squishmallows 😩): https://youtu.be/EdByHssKrgA If you haven't heard of the theory of Monotropism, it's a great way to understand the autistic mind. It could be useful to share this video with friends and family members: https://youtu.be/3mBbOOzhoGQ 00:00 I can't get a job 30:52 Is self-employed better? 34:20 Executive dysfunction & creativity 📹 My Videos mentioned 📹: Introducing... THE ANTI-SOCIAL CLUB!: https://youtu.be/ClgG_9J9cTE The Best Theory of Autism you've probably NEVER heard of...: https://youtu.be/3mBbOOzhoGQ So you think you might be Autistic...Now What?: https://youtu.be/sQ102wzqaXY 📖 Books Mentioned 📖 : 80,000 hours: https://ift.tt/sx4JGVj *The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris: https://amzn.to/3u7WQSp *On Writing by Stephen King: https://amzn.to/3SpjdNl *Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert: https://amzn.to/45Vcuhv *Save the Cat Writes a Novel by Jessica Brody: https://amzn.to/45Vcuhv 📒 Sources 📒: New shocking data highlights the autism employment gap: https://ift.tt/udpKP6c. Outcomes for disabled people in the UK: 2020: https://ift.tt/ZWyBRcJ Public awareness of autism spectrum disorder: https://ift.tt/TZi5SOM. 80,000 Hours Book: https://ift.tt/sx4JGVj Books and Quills: https://www.youtube.com/@booksandquills Bags of Taste: https://ift.tt/UWuEvIi Decision-Making Problems in Adults with ASD: https://ift.tt/udF8NL1 Writers’ earnings have plummeted – with women, Black and mixed race authors worst hit: https://ift.tt/LqYbZkd NHS talking therapies: https://ift.tt/mgrYTMI Cognitive behavioral therapy may be only mildly effective for anxious, autistic children: https://ift.tt/k0hjzbl *The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris: https://amzn.to/3u7WQSp Elizabeth Gilbert on Distinguishing Between Hobbies, Jobs, Careers, & Vocation | Acumen Academy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0g7ARarFNnw&t=15s *On Writing by Stephen King: https://amzn.to/3SpjdNl *Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert: https://amzn.to/45Vcuhv *Save the Cat Writes a Novel by Jessica Brody: https://amzn.to/45Vcuhv Big Magic Podcast (episode 207 with Neil Gaiman is the one I recommended!): https://ift.tt/vFqwU2Q 📖 *Books I'd Recommend about Autism 📖 : Aspergirls by Rudy Simone: https://amzn.to/3xSZ6Mg Different not Less by Chloe Hayden (read if you want to cry): https://amzn.to/40fKx2m Unmasking Autism by Devon Price: https://amzn.to/3LhMV3j *These are affiliate links. The channel will receive a small commission if you buy anything on Amazon after clicking through with this link. There's no extra cost to you; any money will go towards putting out more content. I'd love to post twice a week and put more time into research for these videos. Thank you so much - I really appreciate every like and comment! DISCLAIMER: I am a second-year psychology student and a late-diagnosed #actuallyautistic individual. I am not a qualified healthcare professional. via YouTube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y9aoG-NrF6A

[lifeofademisexualtransboy]

I started a new blog so I can blog about my new creative works.

Follow @bravegrumpy if you want to see the creative ramblings of a guy who recently learned "Why am I like this"

Huetopia is the name of a fictional world I have been noodling on, for about as long as I've been away from tumblr.

My new blog will be focused less on my queer journey of self-discovery, and more about expanding my creative outlet, and juggling my need to be creative, my neurospicy lack of understanding time, and my dislike of capitalism.