#late diagnosed adhd

[genderimpala]

anyone else stay home for a while and be like "hmmmm been acting fine lately. maybe i'm not autistic." and then you have one (1) social interaction and you're like ah. the Autism strikes again.

[visciously-face-fckd-by-a-cactus]

ok. imma do this again because im so sick of this neurotypical label-centric world we live in and the inability that people have to understand individuality, masking, and nuance in presentation of disorders.

edit: this is not meant to exclude all the various neurodivergence diagnoses other than just adhd and autism- this poll was created first and foremost because i was curious about those two in particular, but also because there's not that many button options for the poll itself and if i added more than those variables the permutations would skyrocket

[clove-pinks]

A series of 8 tweets on the experience of being autistic and ADHD (AuDHD) by @pot8um on twitter, image descriptions below cut.

I saved these shortly after being dx + medicated with ADHD last year. It was the first time I began to seriously consider the possibility that I was also autistic. 1/8

AuDHD is a constant tug-of-war— contradictions that exist simultaneously that I feel equally strongly about.

[image description: Two-column text inside orange arrows on left, and blue arrows on right. Title “What ADHD & autism feel like…” L column is ADHD; R column is autism. 1st row, L text: “Making spontaneous plans”, R text: “Getting very upset if those plans are interrupted” 2nd row, L text: “Struggling to organize”, R text: “Having a strong need for order”. By @autistic.qualia]

Each of these are so familiar to me, but I could never articulate my experiences with the right language. Also, if you don’t know what you’re experiencing is AuDHD, you don’t know what questions to ask. You didn’t know you were even supposed to *have* questions! 2/8

[image description: Two-column text inside orange arrows on left, and blue arrows on right. Title “What ADHD & autism feel like…” L column is ADHD; R column is autism. 1st row, L text: “Impulsively making purchases for a new hyperfixation”, R text: “Hyperfocus on researching the products” 2nd row, L text: “Struggling to be on time”, R text: “Upset when others are a few minutes late”. by @autistic.qualia]

I have phases of hyperfixation with certain things, and lifelong interest in others. Successfully executed plans / tasks is always my goal. (The perfectionism is too real.) I always get frustrated when I inevitably miss steps, regardless of my attention to detail. 3/8

[image description: Two-column text inside orange arrows on left, and blue arrows on right. Title “What ADHD & autism feel like…” L column is ADHD; R column is autism. 1st row, L text: “Hyperfixating on a wide variety of topics”, R text: “Also having long term special interests” 2nd row, L text: “Forgetting steps in plans”, R text: “Needing plans to execute perfectly”. by @autistic.qualia]

I *love* trying new foods… until it’s a bad experience, then I clam up and am reluctant to try again. When it comes to food, consistency is vital to me. My brain is far more active than I have spoons for. Most of my ideas strike when I’m freshly overloaded and spoonless. 4/8

[image description: Two-column text inside orange arrows on left, and blue arrows on right. Title “What ADHD & autism feel like…” L column is ADHD; R column is autism. 1st row, L text: “Enticed by novel foods”, R text: “Hypercritical of food taste and texture” 2nd row, L text: “Wanting new experiences”, R text: “Wanting to stick to what I know I like”. by @autistic.qualia]

I tend to hyperfixate on things that aren’t central to the task at hand. (I don’t want to say “on the ‘wrong’ thing” because I’m on my self-compassion shit ) Discovering my neurodivergence during the pandemic was surreal. Severe boredom, severe overload, severe whiplash. 5/8

[image description: Two-column text inside arrows. Title “What ADHD & autism feel like…” L column is ADHD; R column is autism. 1st row, orange arrow, L text: “Misses details and makes mistakes on boring topics”, blue arrow, R text: “Notices small details and points out others’ mistakes”. 2nd row, purple arrow, L text: “Becoming easily understimulated”; Yellow arrow, R text: “Becoming easily overstimulated”. by @autistic.qualia]

Overthinking the stages of your emotional dysregulation is its own personal hell. When I’m lowest on spoons, I tend to ruminate the most. My thirst for knowledge is met by my shoddy working memory. I try recalling a fact that *I know* I read up on. Can’t. Frustration ensues. 6/8

[image description: Two-column text inside arrows. Title “What ADHD & autism feel like…” L column is ADHD; R column is autism. 1st row, purple arrow, L text: “Struggling from emotional dysregulation”. Blue arrow, R text: “Being a logical and analytical thinker”. 2nd row, orange arrow, L text: “Struggling to retain information”; Yellow arrow, R text: “Wanting to learn everything”. by @autistic.qualia]

It’s hard for me to Start the Thing. Once I start, I NEED to ride that wave! If I’m taken out of the moment, idk when I’ll be able to start back up. If I don’t say what I’m thinking *while* I’m thinking it, it’ll be forever lost. (Trying my best to work on this. It’s hard!) 7/8

[image description: Two-column text inside purple and yellow arrows. Title “What ADHD & autism feel like…” L column is ADHD; R column is autism. 1st row, L text: “Having difficulty sitting still”, R text: “Hypersensitive to other people fidgeting”. 2nd row, L text: “Interrupting others when they are busy”; R text: “Hate being bothered while in hyperfocus”. by @autistic.qualia]

Please note: • These traits are infinitely more nuanced than a few tweets can possibly cover. • I do not speak for the entire autistic community. From @autisticqualia on IG, an outstanding AuDHD awareness account.

[image descriptions: a box of text at left reads “Having both ADHD & autism can sometimes feel like there are contradicting forces within you. Traits that seem incompatible on the surface can exist in the same person.” A box of text at right reads  “Everyone with ADHD & autism is different. These are the contradicting traits that I personally experience as someone with both ADHD and autism.”]

It's uncommon for me to see someone discussing the experience of being both austistic and ADHD, and this was articulated so well, I feel like it also describes my experiences. (The author is also an advocate for late diagnosis AuDHD adults, who has shared her experiences about working with dismissive, misogynist doctors.)

Bearing in mind that every individual is different, as noted by the tweet author, I feel like I am more autistic than I am ADHD, despite my ADHD diagnosis (and these two developmental disorders have many overlapping traits, of course).

I have never, ever understood the experience of "ADHD boredom" that I have seen some people describe. I am perpetually overstimulated, not understimulated, and I stuggle to process experiences and find enough time and space. Executive dysfunction also prevents me from starting/enjoying activities, as is typical with ADHD. It's not just a thing that makes it difficult to work on stressful or boring tasks; it prevents you being being able to commence fun things, like reading for enjoyment or watching a TV show you want to watch. And when I do manage to start the book/TV show, the stimulus is often overwhelming and I don't get very far.

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

Late Diagnosis of ADHD in Women

Future ADHD

[itingtmywly]

as a neurodivergent teen, adults does it ever get better?

[lizleeillustration]

***Trigger warning for diagnosis discussion***

HAHAHA -seriously though am I a person or a pack of neuroses-HAHAHA

*high fives my fellow late diagnosees*

(Please don't repost but feel free to leave me a tip!)

[identitty-dickruption]

advice for recently diagnosed/discovered autistics/ADHD-ers:

yes, it's normal for your symptoms to become more obvious in the weeks/months following diagnosis. this is part of your brain adjusting to the realisation that those symptoms are... symptoms

yes, it can take a while to adjust to this information. the unmasking process can take years, and that's okay!

it is also normal to have a "doubt stage" in the months following diagnosis as you move past the "realisation stage". your doubt does not make your disorder any less real

if you can, it's really important for you to try to find community. even better if the community is in-person, but there are also plenty of online communities

it's OKAY if you find that the stereotypical/common ADHD/autism coping skills don't work for you. if you don't like stim toys, that's okay! if you hate the post-it note trick, that's cool! there are many tools and coping skills out there, and not all of them are going to work for everyone

your experiences are not unique! there will be others out there who understand you (refer back to the point about community)

your experiences are not universal! there will be others out there who have very different symptoms, backgrounds, intersecting identities, etc... and those different experiences ALSO deserve to be listened to

congratulations on the autism/ADHD! welcome to the community!

[lesbian-disaster-academic]

Okay, I have a question for all the neurodivergents out there. A few mins ago, I was interacting publicly (reblogs, comments, etc.) with someone on another one of my sideblogs. And it occurred to me that, even though it's somewhat to a lesser degree, I'm still masking while on Tumblr dot com (a.k.a., Neurodivergent Central).

[genderimpala]

curious to know abt the correlation between neurodiverse folks and tattoos. bc i as an audhder would simply Never Get A Tattoo because i hate the idea of something being on my body permanently.

(this is also why i want to go on t and have the ftm surgeries but also don't want to anything permanent bc What If I Regret It)

so like nd people. what's y'all's opinions on tattoos.

[chronic-invisibility]

Fellow autistics: do y’all ever do echolalia in your head? I know it’s a thing but I’m curious if people do it more internally or externally. For example, I frequently get the names of medications I saw at work (I work in a pharmacy so I see medication names ALL DAY) stuck in my head and will just be sitting there hours after I get off work going “Acetazolamide” over and over in my head, which can sometimes be funny but also gets kind of annoying after a while.

[exclusivelyhomosexual]

Having late-diagnosed adhd is weird.

(CW internalized ableism)

Realizing that what I always thought was a “normal” source for motivation was really just shame, guilt, fear, self-judgment and a whole lot of “shoulding” (apart from the rare hyperfocus where the motivation was actually my own)

What I thought was “self-discipline” was just constant self-berating and guilt for being so “bad” at it when other people seemed to pick it up so easily

I always felt so ashamed whenever someone credited their success to their parents raising them to have a great work ethic. How come *I* didn’t turn out the same way, when my dad spent most of his waking moments working to provide for us? How did that not teach me a great work ethic?

Even if no one said it to my face, I internalized deeply the notion preached in every corner of society that people who aren’t self-disciplined are lazy and don’t actually care

I never thought I had adhd because I didn’t fit the stereotypical symptom profile. And I believed so deeply that I just had to “work harder” even though I was mentally deteriorating from how hard I actually was working. But that’s normal for everyone, right?

And now that I’ve deconstructed a lot of this shame and guilt (after years and years of therapy that I’ve been lucky to have), I see it as it is and have stopped using these toxic things to motivate me. And I’m realizing just how little “natural” motivation I actually have. Any motivation I do get is sporadic, for super random things, never consistent and not usually for “productive” tasks.

I’ve finally come to the place where I don’t feel even slightly opposed to trying out adhd medication either. But it has come at the *very* opportune time when I’m unemployed, searching for a job (with the aforementioned lack of motivation in a shit job market), and uninsured.

BuT aT LEaSt it’S a gReAt pRaCtiCE iN seLf cOmpAsSiOn!!! 🥴

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

Late diagnosis of ADHD in Women

Future ADHD

[kaija-rayne-author]

Would you recognize an autistic or ADHD person if you saw one?

What about an autistic or ADHD fictional character?

Many of y'all will say, of course.

And you'll be wrong.

I'm not talking to hatched autistics and ADHDers. We can usually spot others like us and autistic/ADHD coded characters in fiction.

Definition: A 'hatched' autistic or ADHDer is someone who knows they're one or the other or both, AND they understand and accept that pretending to be neurotypical is bad for us.

It actually kills us, so, yeah, bad. The leading causes of death for autistics is unaliving or heart attack from the stress of living in a world that was most certainly not created for us. In some ways, this world is antithetical to us.

We also experience the stress of what's known as 'masking'.

Our average age of death is 36 years old. Think about that for a second. 36. And the rates of unaliving in autistic and ADHD kids is utterly obscene. The suicide watch for parents of autistic kids starts at 8 years old. 8.

(I don't say this for everything, but self-diagnosis is absolutely valid for autism and ADHD. In a world where people can still be institutionalized or lose their kids because of an autism diagnosis--this is fact for Britain and several US states. France is awful for autistics-- self diagnosis must be valid so we can figure ourselves out without endangerment.)

Masking is where a traumatized autistic (and I've also never met or even heard about an untraumatized autistic/ADHDer) will create a, persona, almost, that lets us function in the world.

It's rarely intentional, my youngest son started masking at 4 in pre-kindergarten because he wanted other kids to like him and want to play with him. Even though our home is very supportive of diversity, especially about autism and ADHD, y'all... he was *4*.

Being autistic and/or ADHD is so damned lonely. Especially if you don't know why you're different. So we do our best to adapt. That can cause issues.

Masking isn't meant as a lie. It's survival instinct. Because even though the world absolutely doesn't treat us like we're human beings, we still are. We want to survive and thrive as much as the next hominid. We have all the same needs and desires as any other human.

But what about the rest of all y'all? Can you recognize us?

Last week, a music teacher banned a 6 year old autistic kid from the school concert because 'they would ruin the experience for the other children' this is after making the autistic kid learn and practice the songs for weeks. 6 years old and that kid already has scars from discrimination about a genetic condition he can't help. It's cruel and so damned inhumane. At worst, the kid probably sang off key and maybe fidgetted a bit. But that would 'ruin' the concert. It's not the Estonian Philharmonic Chamber Choir, lady, it's an elementary school concert. It's absolutely not worth scarring that poor kid over. It also happened back in 2022, and again in 2017.

People will have seen 'Atypical' or 'The Good Doctor' or, gods forbid, Rainman and think they know what autistic people look like. (You should probably know that the majority of autistics loathe those shows because the rep is so bad.)

But here's the thing.

You can't see autism or ADHD. Not just by looking at us. It's purely a brain wiring difference. People don't even believe me when I tell them I am if they've seen me in person. And I'm professionally diagnosed as both autistic & ADHD.

Sometimes, there are co occurring issues, like intellectual disability, that are confused with autism, but they aren't actually the autism or ADHD part of things.

I'm an autistic and ADHD advocate. I have a consultant option on my Patreon for people who want advice either for themselves or so they do the right thing by their kids. I'm autistic/ADHD, my kids are too. I've been researching and learning about the topic for close to a decade at this point. I truly know what I'm talking about. I understand the different flavours and experiences of these two types of neurodivergency extremely well.

As an aside, while I have you here, ABA (Applied Behavior Analysis) is never the right thing. You know how gay conversion therapy is bad? The same person (Ivar Lovass) came up with ABA, and it's meant to do the same thing. To torture people, most often children, into pretending to be what someone else wants them to be. It doesn't support or help the autistic person.

Almost unilaterally, ABA causes a PTSD breakdown of self coming into our 30s. I say almost, but I've never even heard of an autistic person who has been tortured by ABA who hasn't developed severe PTSD.

If you tried to use the methods used in ABA on a dog, you'd be guilty of extreme animal cruelty.

Yet, because it's practiced on human children, it's fiiiiine. Big money lobbying has even made it so that ABA 'therapy' is the only one covered by a lot of insurances.

We can thank Autism $peaks for that. They are a hate group. They fit every bit of the definition of one and then some. (So please don't donate to them at the till. They love to pollute stores like Toys 'R' Us.)

Adult autistics have been speaking out against them forever. But since most autistics (80%) are under or unemployed, we don't have the kind of financial sway we'd need to get rid of them. Yes, this even counts for 'the new ABA'.

You can't save ABA. Putting a 2 year old human child through 40 hours weekly of 'training' so that they can look and act neurotypical is just flat out torture. Making a child 'extremely hungry or thirsty' so that they will do what you want is torture. There's just no other way to slice that apple. It's rotten to the core.

But back to my point.

Recently, someone disagreed with my opinion on a fictional character. I feel the character is autistic/ADHD coded, the other person disagreed.

That's cool. Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one. And it's fiction, whatever. I'm not mad or upset. (I'm slightly insulted, because if you're not autistic/ADHD, [and a comparison they suggested made me think they definitely weren't] it's definitely not your place to disagree with one of us who says a character is autistic/ADHD coded. It's disrespectful and more than a little ableist. Simply because so many people have the completely wrong idea about both conditions.)

Regardless, the important part for a fictional character is that a person was able to see themselves in the character, to empathize with them. So it's not a big deal.

But it got me thinking about this.

Would most people recognize the subtle signs? They're almost always extremely subtle.

Ever hear of 'resting bitch face'? It's an incredibly common autistic trait because we either emote less or we emote differently than neurotypicals. In our world, it's known as 'flat face effect'. I have it, and I've been harmed many times because it looks like I'm pissed off even when I'm having a good time or I'm just deep in thought. I've got a firey temper, trust me when I say you'll know it when I'm pissed off.

So. You see a character (or even a person) who doesn't emote a lot? Or emotes extremely subtly? Wellll... that's a good clue.

So, X fictional character (or person) has odd or esoteric knowledge or hobbies. That's a good clue.

Are they nerdy or geeky in some way?

Most autistics and many ADHDers experience what's known as hyperfixation on special interests. Ever see someone get so fascinated by a topic or skill or activity that they get lost in it?

Forget to eat or drink?

Learn to do an obscure craft just because they wanted to know how it's done? That person is likely autistic or ADHD or both. It applies to fictional characters too.

Are they stand-offish? Many of us are for various reasons. One is that we're trying to figure out the 'rules' of wherever and whoever we're with.

Why all y'all insist on staring creepily at each others eyeballs is beyond me. I find it either too intimate, painfully so, or just ridiculous.

That quiet character (or person) who warms up slowly? There's a hint.

Another reason we tend to be cool with strangers is that ever present trauma thing. So many autists and ADHDers get to the point in life where we just don't have it in us anymore to keep trying to make social connections. A very common trait of both autism and ADHD is a lack of understanding of neurotypical social rules. And trust me, y'all have them.

Does the character or person fidget? Either subtly or more obviously?

It's called stimming. I had to learn to do it unobtrusively, so I'll suck air through my teeth (my dentist isn't impressed by this), circle my pointer finger around my thumb, tap the pad of each finger on my thumb in a rhythm, count silently to myself... the list is probably endless. I intentionally leave the cuticles on my thumbs rough, because I often rub the forefinger or ring finger of that hand over the rough cuticle as a stim.

Maybe they rotate their ring around a finger?

Play with their hair?

Stimming is something that calms us down and helps us regulate our emotions. (It's also one of the first things ABA robs us of. It's called 'quiet hands'.) It's really bad to deprive an autistic or ADHDer of stimming.

I used to click the button on a pen so much that I banned myself from having clicky pens because of how annoying it can be to others.

There are healthy stims and unhealthy ones. (Head banging is an example of an unhealthy stim.)

So a character or person who is just, always moving somehow? There's a hint. Or they're rhythmically moving a body part? Tapping fingers? Wiggling a foot or leg? Fussing with their clothing? Rocking?

Is the character or person 'a walking encyclopedia'? In other words, do they know a lot of information about either one or two topics or about many topics?

That character (or person) is often stereotyped as being a computer genius who can make any computer work just by looking at it for a few minutes. But it can honestly be any topic or combination of topics. That's another clue.

Many autists are almost hard wired to be painfully honest. Unless we've been traumatized into it, we tend to be shitty liars. I'm, unfortunately, a very good liar. It's not something I choose to do, because I don't want my trauma to change something so innate to me as my honesty. I had to learn to lie to survive. I don't recommend it.

Does the person or character truly believe in things like honour? Justice? Mercy? Peace? (Many neurotypical people will call these things social lies that keep the world working.) I'm talking a bone deep belief in honour etc. Are they a shitty liar?

I think I've blathered enough for now. I want to make it clear that I don't speak for all autistic and ADHD folks. I'm just one person attempting to share some of the more common traits with whoever wants to read about it.

A final thought.

Nothing can make someone autistic or ADHD. It's a genetic condition. Which is why so many parents find out they're autistic or ADHD when their kids are diagnosed. It's not more prevalent now, it's just that more people are learning about the actual parameters of it. Diagnosis is easier now than 50 years ago. It's been around since ancient Egypt and probably evolved as a way to keep the clan safe in prehistoric times.

We often have heightened senses. Sometimes we have what I call 'predator vision' which sounds awful but just means that my gaze is automatically drawn to movement. Our sleep cycles are also commonly very different than a neurotypical's. We probably ended up being people who would take night watch, stare at the stars for hours, or warn people when food has gone off so no one eats it.

I think we evolved right alongside neurotypicals because we're both needed for a successful society.

Many, many of the world's famed thinkers/creators are considered to have likely been autistic/ADHD based on records about them.

These people include:

Leonardo DaVinci

Michelangelo di Lodovico Buonarroti Simoni

Nikolai Tesla

Albert Einstein

Thomas Jefferson

Charles Darwin

Emily Dickinson

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

William Butler Yeats

Vincent Van Gogh

Benjamin Franklin

People who are autistic or ADHD these days that you may not expect?

Dan Ackroyd

Darryl Hannah

Anthony Hopkins

Jerry Seinfeld

Eminem

Courtney Love

David Byrne

Wentworth Miller

Satoshi Tajiri (creator of Pokemon)

There are also many, many people who have shown autistic or ADHD traits and haven't confirmed or it's impossible to confirm because they're deceased and we don't have the right records.

It's considered a massive faux pas to assign a diagnosis of anything to a living human being. So everyone living I've listed has in some way confirmed it. There are many, many other people (especially in creative industries or hobbies) I believe are likely one or the other, but I wouldn't label. That's for them to do.

If you enjoyed this or learned something and you can, please consider a tip or becoming a Patron. My work of words is my only income.

Every historical person is just a 'likely' because we'll never actually know. All we can do is point at the exhibited traits via records and say, probably.

[petrichor-moss-and-lightning]

I’m full of rage I’m battery acid I’m gnashing my teeth spitting venom at the gates of hell (i have to wash my emotional support bra)

[chronicsymptomsyndrome]

Having ADHD does not mean what people think it means. It’s so exhausting having to explain that all the time