Neo: What's Stopping me From from hunting down Little Red?
RK!Jaune: *Sharpening Crocea Mors* There are Many reasons why that would be a bad Idea. I will illuminate three.
RK!Jaune: First, as you well know, Just because She is Kind, does not mean She is unwilling or incapable of defending Herself.
RK!Jaune: Second, If you Hurt Ruby or any of her Teammates, I will find you. Make no mistake. Gods willing, You will not be leaving the Ever After.
RK!Jaune: Lastly, Waging War against good people is Bad for the Soul. This may not seem important to you now, but it is the most important thing I've said.
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𝔻𝕖𝕧 ℙ𝕒𝕥𝕖𝕝 𝕄𝕒𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕥
Characters: Sir Gawain (The Green Knight), The Kid (Monkey Man), Joshua Madika (Modern Love), David Copperfield, Sanjay Menha (The Wedding Guest).
[m]- mature, [s]- suggestive, [a]- angst, [f]- fluff, [c] - crack/comedy, • - headcannon
Sir Gawain
Opia [m], [f]
Joshua Madika
Black Tie [f], [s]
David Copperfield
[14:24] [f], [c]
Monkey Man
[21:54] [f], [a]
Requests are closed :(
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caramelizing onions (Dev Patel, preference)
Five Days Until Monkey Man!!!!!
a/n: inspired by an ask from @binickandros from forever ago <3 backbone of the fanbase with their gifs 🫡thank you for your service.
Anwar Kharral (Skins 2009)
I've got a headcanon that Anwar is a big soup enjoyer, specifically French Onion Soup, so I think Anwar could do alright caramelizing onions. As an adult, I think he can hold his own in the kitchen, but that's because he knows that the payoff is going to be worth it.
Sonny Kapoor (The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, 2011)
Sonny is blessed to be in the position where he can export the onion caramelizing to the hotel kitchens, where a professional can handle it. He has not been allowed in a kitchen since 2005, per his mother's orders. No, he will not tell you why.
Neal Sampat (Newsroom, 2011-2014)
In my head, Neal comes from a family of restauranteurs. He's inherited the family skill, he's out of practice. His stove has been broken since he moved into this apartment. The odds are stacked against him, but still, he busts out a hot plate and gets to work, you're getting your onions.
Deon Wilson (Chappie, 2015)
Deon has been eating hot pockets and adult portions of lunchables since he moved out of the house in 2015. He's barely familiar with vegetables, you're gonna have to teach him how to work the stove. Sorry girl, he's really cute tho.
Sheru "Saroo" Bierley (LION, 2016)
Sue Brierly made sure both of her sons knew how to hold their own in a kitchen, and Saroo is not gonna forget that knowledge. If you've got a hankering for French onion soup, you better believe that he's gonna do everything he can to get ready for you.
Jay Menha (The Wedding Guest, 2018)
Sanjay is tricky. The two of you travel so often for 'work', and it's kind of hard to not get takeout. However, once in a blue moon, Jay will make a nice meal for the two of you. He's romantic, he's sweet, and the two of you have a cozy night together.
Yes, he did call his mother to make it happen. Yes, he's gonna do everything in his power to make sure you don't find that out.
David Copperfield (2019)
I feel like David will need help the first few times he's in a kitchen. He's a man of means now, so he's able to pay his cook to give him lessons in the kitchen. This being said, I feel like David will want to cook for you, but tell you that the cook prepared it. You like it better when David cooks for you, even if you don't know it.
Joshua Madika (Modern Love, 2019)
Joshua can and will buy you every single onion in the world. He doesn't mean to be so 'much', but you love him for it! This being said, he will give Carmelizing Onions one solid attempt, and depending how it goes, then he'll get you takeout from all your favorite spots in the city. It's a win-win to be honest.
Sir Gawain (The Green Knight, 2021)
Oh, I'm sorry babe, he'd absolutely not be able to caramelize onions for you. I do, however, think, that he would be great at making smores. He is totally capable of putting a marshmallow on a stick and holding it over heat until it's golden brown. That is the extent of his food-gathering capabilities. God bless him for still being alive at age twenty-one.
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