#LISTEN i know i havent been active here on this blog

[hauntedtrait]

URGENT MUTUAL AID‼️⚠️PLEASE HELP A DISABLED TRANSGENDER LATINO MAINTAIN HOUSING⚠️‼️

remaking an old post of mine from a different blog because this one has way more followers and I am in an extremely desperate situation.

my work situation still has not improved, I’m only earning about 440$ a month, which is about half what I need to pay rent, bills and take care of me and my cats. I may lose my apartment come april and have no place to live, especially if I can’t make up my late rent for this month and the next until then.

I need 212$ to cover rent for January, and once February comes around I’ll be short at least 470$, possibly more due to bills.

There are a few ways you can help me:

SHARING THIS POST. regardless of what you are able to do, PLEASE PLEASE share this post and spread the word. I am DESPERATE in need of help.

Donating to my GoFundMe: https://gofund.me/1edd7f44

Sending money to my c*shapp or v*nmo ( both usernames are deadmallgoth )

Sending money to my p*ypal: judasvalentine@protonmail.com

Hiring me for Graphic Design work ( I am a part time Graphic Designer also looking to get into Freelance work, if you need any kind of graphics for whatever reason please feel free to email me at judasvalentine@protonmail.com and I can share examples of my work and discuss price. )

[cheesecake-the-chicken]

official intro post!

🪽goodmorning!! i go by Cheesecake but you can call me anything you like :7

🪽he/him please!

🪽genderfluid lesbian

🪽minor

🪽white

🪽plural

🪽able-bodied

🪽Gemini sun, Sagittarius moon and Leo rising

🪽PTSD, OCD and possible ADHD, please be patient

🪽Pacific Standard Time

🪽日本語もできる！8年ぐらい勉強したのがあるのでまあまあペラペラだけど、もっと練習したいです！

🪽bird therian, mainly Moluccan and Umbrella cockatoo but also cockatoo cladokin. fnaf fictionkith/synpath. awakened 11/2023

🪽i LOVE fnaf, and i’m very partial to Madoka Magica, SCP, TADC and Vocaloid! i mostly listen to Vocaloid especially Maretu. i’m also always looking for new interests, i’ve always wanted to get into Sonic the Hedgehog and DSAF,,,,,,

🪽my main hobby is music but i also draw and make friendship bracelets! i sing (im a choir kid 💔), and i play the guitar, piano, drums and a little bass!

DNI LIST

🪽please DNI if you’re

bigoted (-phobic, -ist etc)

terf/swerf/radqueer, transID

anyone who doesn’t support he/him or mspec lesbians

ECTA/RCTA

proship/profic

pro-zoo, pro-MAP, l*li/sh*tacon, etc

discourse/syscourse

NSFW/k*nk

anti-otherkin, anti-therian, i’m not in the loop about KFF but just let people have fun or be serious about kinning as they want

13 or under (for my comfort and your safety, this blog isn’t nsfw but i would like to swear and make jokes)

🪽feel free to ask about anything not listed here!

misc blog stuff

🪽dms and askbox will always be open, i’m very extroverted so i will always try to follow/reach out first :7

🪽i may begin edit/moodboard/meme requests sometime!

🪽tag system (please feel free to help me improve it 😭):

#cheesecake’s perch: text posts/random thoughts

#cheesecake’s progress: journaling my otherkin journey; probably gear, shifting, activities etc!

#cheesecake’s enrichment ipad: image posts/memes

#cheesecake’s chicken scratch: any edits/moodboards/art i make!

🪽(I KNOW I HAVENT BEEN TRUE TO THIS YET please be patient 💔)

🪽other therians, especially aviankin please interact!

🪽i will edit this post over time as necessary

🪽thank you !!

[study-core-101]

Hii your blog is so inspiring and helpful ❤

I don't know if you already posted about this but I want advice :D

I'm studying the equivalent to High School in my country (two years only) and I'm trying to strive more. Lately I have realised that I never have free time. I spend the afternoons studying, then I have dinner with my parents, watch something on TV, go to sleep and at those hours I'm so tired that I don't have the energy to do anything else I enjoy. Meanwhile, I see my friends and others at my class going out, going to extracurriculars, getting things done faster...

I've always had the feeling that I only do the things I like during summer break.

I can't help but wonder how am I gonna do when I'm in collage (if I actually get there)!

I would like to ask you if you had any advice, or tips about managing time etc

Pd: sorry if this was too long, personal or if I made any gramatical mistakes lol

Hii, sorry it took me so long to answer! From what I heard, it sounds like so kind of burnout. I'm no expert on this topic, so I'm going to leave the links of the sources just in case! (x) (x)

One of main components it's exhaustation. Feeling tired all the time and having no energy. Not only it impacts the mental and physicial health, but the perfomance. This usually stems of being always "on", overwork culture/mentality, pressure (whether internal or external) and the dislike of the tasks. What I recommend is:

Actually rest. Do activities that make mentally rest or dont do any activity, just take some time for yourself. Listen to your favourite music, take a bath, do some breathing exercise. Relax. Here are some more mental rest activities.

Dont beat yourself for resting. A lot of times, we "rest" but it isnt actually rest, because instead of focusing on yourself you are worrying about not doing anything productive 24/7. That looks like rest, but it isnt, it is just more tiring. All the toxic productivity mentality has to go.

Schedule time to do nothing. Establish clear moments for resting.

Take breaks.

Prioritaze tasks. Yes, we all want to have everything done perfectly and complete, but sometimes that is just impossible. The best way to classify them in order is 1) urgent and important; 2) not urgent but important; 3) urgent but no important; and 4) not urgent not important.

Have a good sleep schedule.

Drink water and eat all your meals

Find a hobbie or something you are passionate or at least midly interested on. Something that fills you with joy and seek to. At the beggining it will feel like a waste of time, but once you find something, well, let's just say, try it.

Another thing is the mindset. Negative thinking is unmotivating and tiring. Switching to a more possitive mentality does wonders.There are a lot of ways to reframe negative thoughts, I'm not familiar with most of them so I cant really explain, but here is an article that explains on detail how to do it.

Even though exhaustation and mentality are key to feeling burn out, inefficiency also has an important role. There are millions of study methods, but not a single one works for every person. Maybe you use a "good" study technique, but it isnt the right one for you. I'd recommend trying new ways of studying you havent tried before, see if at least one works for you. I'm going to honest with you, I dont know a lot of methods, since i found the one that works with me I havent tried new ways, here is a list of study methods with explanations that I'm using to draft future posts. Here are the links for the posts are posted about blurting, feynman and pq4r, if any of those sound helpful.

SELF CARE!!!!! Self-care is so important. It's been a common theme in this post, but I will repeat it once more, take care of yourself.

If these are also helpful, I'll leave the links for previous posts about motivation to start, motivation in general, and a reward system for motivation. Not all the tips in those posts will work, actually, some of them may contradict with what I just said, but I posted them with a different situation in mind. Take the tips that will help you and ignore the ones you think will just make it worse.

Hope this helps and good luck!

[eirian]

im abt to say something that may be very controversial abt kinning

prefacing this by saying ive been a kinnie for 11 years. it started with just being a demon otherkin, but then it branched into fictionkin and from there it got a Little out of hand which is obvious by my old kin list lol.

so this is an observation from my personal experience as a fictionkin. not saying this 100% applies to everyone and im not looking to debate or start an argument or anything, im just expressing some thoughts abt my own experience.

BASICALLY, from the many years ive been a kinnie, ive come to the conclusion that while general otherkin/therian stuff is connected to spirituality for most, it feels like when you get into fictionkin stuff (namely kinning cartoon/anime characters and such), its less of a spiritual thing and more of an "i want to be this character" thing. idk how else to say it but i think we (fictionkin) collectively have identity issues and we project/identify as fictional characters to combat that and maybe "fill a hole" that we have in our identity, like we dont like our core identity to the point of where we want to replace it with someone else. str8 up

like i said before this is just my experience; i definitely 100% had identity issues for many years, and i couldnt bring myself to really Like my core identity. in fact i didnt really know what my core identity even was until recent years. and yknow what makes me think all this, really? as soon as i found and accepted who i truly was at my core, the kinnie shit totally went out the window. like i dont actively kin anymore, i havent thought about it in years since coming to this acceptance, and i think thats absolutely wild. the only kin i truly believe i still identify with is the demonkin, because it feels like it transcends identity and really is more of a spiritual thing for me. like i have dreams of being my demonself and it gets insane

now listen this isnt me denouncing fictionkin as "not real kinning" or anything, im still a fictionkinnie supporter as ive been one myself for a long time. im just saying that maybe fictionkin is a branch of kinning that kinda sorta stems from having issues with identity :x WHICH AGAIN isnt BAD necessarily, i think it does have its purpose and place and i dont think its necessarily Unhealthy as a means of exploring yourself! it certainly helped me get to a place where i can love myself as myself nowadays which im thankful for

so ya. thats my thoughts on being fictionkin. for me it used to feel like a spiritual thing but i think i was misinterpreting it and it was actually bc i wasnt confident in my own identity which ended up being the case lol

forgive me if this upset anybody im just voicing my Thoughts on my own blog is all

**EDIT: when i talk about fictionkinning in this post im referring to ppl who like, take it seriously. like the "no doubles" people and such (i also used to be one of these people). to an extent also the "i am sans irl" people but that borders on actual delusion which isnt what im talking about here, thats a different issue**

[auggietopia]

i started this blog in december 2019. it was the first tumblr i was ever truly active on, and i had no idea how tags or anything worked. i was freshly 16 and at the age where i was just starting to discover who and what i was, and a lot of it came through in the poetry i posted here. i had very rigid ideas of what literature and poetry was, as i had stopped doing it for a very long time. i wanted attention. i was eager, although i didnt know it then. i was hopeful.

covid hit three months later, in march 2020. i was in the year group whose gcses were cancelled. i posted one poem right as covid hit, in march, and then my last poem i posted in september of 2020 around when i started sixth form, after the longest summer i will ever have in my life. it was also the best summer i have had in my life. i spent 5 months calling with my best friends so constantly to the point i woke up at 6pm and went to bed at 9am just to talk to them. i realised my identity and tried to come out to a mother i would quickly find out was transphobic. i made a lot of friends. i started to gain some real footing on who i was.

i blinked and i am in march 2024. it is four years and a few days since i posted my second to last poem, which is a number that feels truly shocking to type out as it feels like it has been a year at most. in 2019 i turned 16, but in 2024 i will turn 21. this fact upsets me as the absolute formative amount of ageing i went through between the ages of 13-16 feels like it was my entire life and that there isnt room for anything else worthwhile to occur. on my 18th birthday, i held the frog teddy i bought for myself and listened to lord huron at full volume to block out the fear blurring its way into the edges like a migraine. on my 19th birthday, i was alone and terrified in my university dorm. i can't even remember my 20th birthday because of how insignificant it was. ageing, past the age of 18, went from being something exciting to something terrifying in a way i told myself it never would. and yet i am still here, and yet i still age. in a few months, it will be my 21st, and it will likely be at home, and it will likely be alone.

in the space between 16 and now, a lot happened. there were some pretty good things. they sit tiny next to the fact i lost my best friend in 2021 because they turned out to be quite literally the worst person i have ever known on this planet. i will never forgive them for what they did. realistically, every problem i hold against them is so small in the scale of the universe that maybe it isn’t worth holding onto at all, but i have not learned that lesson. i am aggressively refusing that lesson, in fact. at least for right now.

my mental health also took the biggest nosedive it has ever taken. sixth form shut down all sense of self discovery i had once i begin to nosedive in my academics and lose all of my friends. i still havent regained my footing. it has been 2 years since i left sixth form, and i still havent regained my footing.

but it is nice to look back over this blog and not regret a single thing i wrote.

all of this is to say i am going to start posting here again. and, in the most cliche way possible, i am going to do it for me this time. and i am going to post whatever i want without caring whether or not it is refined enough, because life is scarily fleeting and i can do whatever i want.

i was first allergictodrowning, and when i thought that was stupid i became autumndrowns, and now i will be something else that i havent decided yet but it will definitely be equally as stupid. :)

[erasawordsmithofsorts]

hey everybody! (an intro post)

howdy! i wanted to make a little post to talk about myself. let you get to know me a little, like what my interests are outside of 5sos, fun facts about me, etc! c:

introduction to me:

so, you can call me era! that isnt my real name, but we're gonna call it a penname for now. im sixteen, and currently i live with my mother. my favorite color is red (and two very specific shades of brown and blue), and i am in ashton's lane. i've been in the 5sosfam for around ten years now, obviously i havent been active in the fandom for ten years but i have been listening to them for that long! yes, i have been in ashton's lane since the very beginning.

my musical interests outside of 5sos include bands like slipknot, metallica, foo fighters, all time low, lana del rey, ac/dc, ad infitium, palaye royale, ashton's solo stuff, luke's solo stuff, twenty one pilots, and many more! i play the piano, ukulele, i took vocal lessons for three years, and i'm learning guitar and drums :). i'm starting a band with one of my closest friends, and we haven't really decided on a name yet.

i LOVE supernatural. it is one of my all time favorite shows. i have every season up to the last one memorized word for word. you give me a synopsis and i can recite it. i love twilight, i have almost all of the books. i am so normal about greek mythology, sooo normal. i totally do not rant and rave about how hades is NOT the god of death, he's the god of THE DEAD. i would NEVER.

i think that covers everything about me! moving on c:

introduction to this blog:

so! i wanted to finally dive back into the tumblr side of 5sos. i don't know exactly what i want this blog to be about, but i think i want it to have everything. i'll do photo dumps of the band, talk about the band, i might repost fics and stuff on here, who knows!

send in confessions relating to the band and i'll post them! this blog is gonna be a safehaven from everyone. i dont care if youre new to the family or what, youre welcome here. no matter your gender, race, sexuality, religion... whatever, youre welcome here as long as youre a decent being.

im mainly gonna post about old 5sos! but i will post about everything 5sos related, just mainly old stuff :)

welcome to the blog guys c: -era

[dearkyeom]

Hey , are you a kpop lover ?

If yes

I have a question.

I don't think you have the same dream as me but I want to become a kpop idol .

attending dance classes since 12 years old, got inspired from kpop dances and songs , started getting passionate about dancing and singing, I practice it everyday.

just the worry is about my backup plan , what if I fail ? what then? Guidance needed please help.

Care to solve my problem?

I will be very grateful

hi, so ngl anon—you sound like a bot, either that or you're like. super young. i thought your message was a spam chain message, but i checked out my recent follows, and i think i know which account sent me this. you're only following me and like one other person so.. maybe you are real. i checked with caratblr and showed them your message and no one has seen it before so? 😭 idk man. operating under that assumption and remembering our sweet lil joshy hong was on tumblr during melona dungeon days, i will go ahead and answer this sincerely? though i suppose it may be good advice for anyone thinking about things like this. still though, if you are real how the heck did you find my blog and why did you decide i would be the best person to ask this LMAO. i don't mean this ill manneredly, i'm just baffled esp considering i havent been active here. 😭

consider going into fields adjacent to the kpop industry, like songwriting, choreographing, producing, etc., not just as a "backup" but as smth to genuinely pursue. we've got plenty of great producers, dance studios, etc. out there who also can get some time in their own spotlight, like dean, junny, adrian mckinnon, to name a few, while (to a certain extent) getting to avoid the pitfalls of kpop idol life. sure, a good chunk of the fandom don't even pay attention to the artist credits, but know that ppl like me will LOSE MY SHIT to see like ldn noise as one of the producers on a song bc they're fantastic and i know and love their work. please don't fixate on one path thinking that's going to be the only one that fulfills you. i speak from experience when i say that you will be able to find so much joy in other paths you may have never even considered; it's one of the best things life is capable of.

kpop is not a great industry. i'm not saying don't go for it, but know that it is one that is riddled with inevitable heartbreak. be prepared to have every single one of your traits, good and bad, magnified to a microscopic level by total randos. you won't have much control over what you say and do, no privacy whatsoever, bc everything you say and do will literally become a part of your career. do you want your livelihood to be dependent on who you are as a person, distilled and condensed and concentrated, sometimes wrongly so and/or against your will? it's great that you're passionate. but passion will only get you so far before you burn out or, god forbid, something comes along that tanks your career, whether it is by your own doing or not. this is an extreme case, but please look into the case that happened with tablo if you haven't already if you don't know how bad kpop can get as an industry. listen to the podcast "authentic: the story of tablo" and please just. settle for a bit and think about it.

proceed with caution is all i'm saying potentially-real-and-not-a-bot anon. but also remember all the awesome, talented people who help make these idols who they are because we wouldn't have much of ANYTHING were it not for them. personal shoutout to adrian mckinnon, ldn noise, kenzie, yoo youngjin (can you tell i'm an sm stan) for making some of the greatest songs i still keep on repeat after years of listening... btw anon if you do make it, i expect a shoutout to tumblr user dearkyeom at your debut showcase xo.

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

sometime in this last week, or this week coming, my blog has turned/turns 10. god. a decade old. a whole ass chunk of my life i’ve spent on this hellsite. when i began on here, i was a kid. a lost, lonely, depressed and anxious 15/16 year old kid. a kid scared of her future. a kid confused about her future. what to do for uni. to change schools or not??? to do drama/acting at uni or english/philosophy or to move 8hrs away to another regional uni to “escape” her “washed up, dead end hometown” that was so typical of all the pop-punk music that she was listening to at the time.

she was a tad overdramatic, loud, “funny” (as described by her school friends) and terribly forgetful in regards to homework and school assignments. she was angry at the world, most especially the catholic school she was fucking sick and tired of attending. but she was convinced that since she was the so-called “funny girl”, that she simply couldn’t be depressed or anxious. she believed herself unloveable because she didn’t look like a weird mixture of hayley williams and emo-pop queen lights. but now, i no longer believe that i have to look like the women that i looked up to in the ~emo scene~. fuck beauty standards. i am loveable.

in the years since joining tumblr, i’ve managed to get through business college, my undergrad degree and, well, failed out of postgrad due to obvious burnout and health issues amongst other things. although i’ve lost many friends irl and many followers/mutuals online on here. for those who’ve stuck around to see me get through all of this, thank you. to all the friends/casual mutuals that have since deactivated or only followed me for a short time then unfollowed; thank you.

like obviously i was never/have never been a massive popular blog on here, like thebootydiaries or vampireapologist (who has since deactivated a couple of months ago) with tens of thousands of followers. my follower count is still close to the 8,000 range at 7,892. obviously that’s still a lot of people (and of course, porn bots lmao and many, many non-active blogs), enough like one super old post from like 2012 tumblr pointed out, enough for a small to medium sized city or town, or something like that. i don’t know how many people i’ve really reached. i really don’t know how i actually amassed this small army of people.

i am aware though, that on other platforms like snapchat (lmao does anyone even use it anymore in 2021???)/instagram/youtube/tiktok etc, i’d PROBABLY be considered as some type of ~micro influencer (🤮🤮)~. hell, i actually had a bot slide into my notes about being one on here on this hellsite back in 2019. i don’t know if i’ve ever actually ~influenced~ anyone on here with my shitposts (when i started making some) or my personal posts. i don’t know my reach. even though, now, i do occasionally get featured on buzzfeed listicles (although pay me buzzfeed along with the OPs of those original embedded posts), i still don’t know how many people i’ve reached… and even with my very occasional checks of google analytics lmao. on top of this, grappling with the loss of followers at times is much, much easier than it was when i began on here and the first few years following that. i know that my follower count doesn’t determine my worth and stuff.

but over these 10 years, i have grown. i turn 26 this year. back in 2011, 15/16yo me never thought she’d be here. she was partially down the suicidal thoughts hole, with things about ~picturing her funeral and wondering who’d bother to turn up. if only she could pretend to be dead for a day to see who’d give a fuck~ and 16-18yo me was defs down it with her HSC hellscape thoughts in 2012/2013. that 3rd floor tafe/tech women’s bathroom window drop and the thought of scarring her class for life (and that cool dude from catholic school that she crushed on who ended up at tafe with her) with jumping out of it onto the concrete below. instead, she just posted on fb about ~being a failure~ etc which ultimately did lose her a bunch of facebook friends lmao. it was practically the same thing. her mental breakdown after the end of her hsc, where she let her earrings go green and get infected in her ears because “fuck self care, bc what the fuck is it??? i’ll never get better! let me fucking wallow in my self loathing bc it’s the only thing that i’m fucking good at!!!” so i no longer have my ears pierced. oh! it was just all too fucking much!!

i am happier today. i no longer have those semi-suicidal thoughts. hell, i almost died in 2020 from a fucking bowel aneurysm, after my stomach tumour excision surgery. that forced me to put things into perspective. i appreciate the little things . i appreciate the very few friends that i actually have. yes. i’m still depressed and anxious. some days are still shitty and hard. but nowhere as hard and shitty as they were back when i began on here 10 years ago.

how the fuck last 10 years have gone past, with my ass on here; clearing out my blog and caring more about doing that than my uni work (lmao whoops); having made some lifelong friends both internationally (from the US) and long distance domestically in australia, it’s been a long ride; i honestly have no fucking idea. obviously over these past 10 years, i’ve debated with myself over and over and over again whether i should delete/deactivate this account or not. would it make me healthier??? more than likely. but then when i have meltdowns or just inner ramblings i have to get out somewhere, where else to post??? on fb?? obvs not. it’s “attention seeking” or the like on there. no one will read them. no one will resonate. but on here??? even if i got/get one “like” in the notes or one “yo i feel this” response in the tags or replies, it feels like i’ve reached someone??? okay yeah. i know this place IS NOT therapy and i’m not using my followers as amateur (or probs even actual professional) armchair psychologists…. which is a thing i think people need to stop doing internet-wide: but that’s a whole other post that i reblogged a few days ago lmao. i really need to get another therapist, actually lmao.

but it’s the community i’ve found hard to leave. i have what feel like friends, when i’ve never been employed (still as of yet); and when all of my irl friends/acquaintances are working and doing the whole ~adulting~ and ~grown up life~ thing right. it’s also the frenzied rabidness of spite with hating staff’s godawful ideas. the memes. oh the memes. and also the RaWrInG 20s XD emo scene reemergence on here that’s kept me here. the messy petty drama from time to time of big blogs fighting it out.

this place really is bizarre and fun sometimes. and also the fact that i can still hide behind the ridiculous “roaring pikachu” URL that i made all those years ago. i am anonymous. it’s freeing. but on fb it’s all like “WHY WONT YOU ADD A BANNER IMAGE AND TELL US 20 FUN FACTS ABOUT YOU!!!!!???? LET PEOPLE WHO HAVENT SPOKEN TO YOU IN 10 YEARS KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU BECAUSE WE’RE ALL FRIENDS HERE!!!” and the same goes for Corporate Hellscape Facebook™️ (linkedin) but in the professional sense instead. y’all know fuck all about me really. besides my posts. and i love that and live for that. okay yeah. y’all know more about my mental health than my fb feed obvs… which is probably a terribly unfortunate thing. but still.

over the last 10 years then, my superiority complex for being ~so original and intelligent~ or whatever the fuck i had in high school, has all but ebbed away. i’m not that smart just because i went to uni. hell, i literally did NONE of my in-class work and none of my philosophy readings in uni….. so i have fuck all idea of how i got through undergrad like that lmao. i’m not original when so many people can articulate the same thoughts that i have, but like, sometimes better, on a post (even though sometimes/most of the time the Tumblr User Hot Takes Tuesday™️ takes on here are fucking awful lmao). but still. originality is not something i really have anymore. or really had in the first place lmao.

so will i deactivate after these 10 years, like i’ve been saying for so, so long??? i honestly have no idea. but just know. thanks guise. have a nice gpoy selfie day XD. grab your wands. your tardises. grab your war paint. grab your whatever the fuck other fandom specific stuff that was one that hella cringe post from 2011 til 2015 random tumblr. that relic is as old as time itself. just as this mysterious roaring pikachu is for someone whose too loyal to leave this W E B B E D H E L L S I T E that’s just as much of a train wreck as she is. lmao.

[wri0thesley]

many many anons under the cut bc i didn’t want anyone to feel like i was ignoring them and i wanted to respond to u all! warning for small text too, it was so long i wanted to make it look smaller fgbnjkgkjn

Anonymous asked: NAT... you can write WHATEVER you want! It's your blog, and I hope that rude anons can learn to respect that. I used to be on your blog just for jjba content too, so when you started getting into jjk I was indifferent but eventually you dragged me into jjk so hard!! I already like bnha, so seeing you write for it only made me happier! I hope that you continue to write whatever make YOU happy:) ❤and yes, longer fics certainly doesnt mean it's better, quality over quantity

ahh i’m happy that you are here for all three!! i always feel so accomplished when someone is like ‘your constant screaming made me think about jjk <3′. all three of the fandoms are fairly popular and i tag everything v carefully so i hope people who do use the filtering find that useful!!! 

Anonymous asked: Goodness gracious. People really be out there thinking they're entitled to dictating what kind of content you should be making

i think part of it might be that i do take requests so people feel like they have like . . . a certain right to certain kinds of my content? i take requests mostly bc they keep me motivated, i like making content for ppl who cant find what they want bc i’ve Been There, but maybe people think i am a pushover? idk i am just trying to have a good time!!!

Anonymous asked: Hi. I only started following you a few days ago but please ignore that rude anon. People are so fucking entitled towards writers it's insane. I recently had someone throw a fit for "spoiling" something in my fanfic, even though the fic was about a manga-exclusive character, so what did they expect?? Overall I've really enjoyed your writing so random assholes coming to guilt you is just a shitty thing that happens. Keep going with what you wanna do.

ah gosh anon i’m sorry about that :(. i’m always super careful tagging spoilers and stuff but like, if someone clicks on a fic about say, naoya or the steel ball run boys and is mad that i spoil something they havent found out yet . . . yeah thats on them fgbnkjgfkjn

Anonymous asked: That...that anon had the nerve to say "we". The fuck?! No no no anon, YOU'RE the only one talking and you're just talking for yourself, don't you dare try and lump us other anons/followers up with you to make yourself look like you're right. We love you nat and we appreciate you. It's your blog, you're allowed to write about whoever and whatever. This brain dead anon just needs to either go read someone else if they're that salty or write their own stuff if they're that impatient.

gosh i WISH some of my mad anons would just write their own stuff honestly. idk if this anon thought they were talking for everybody but i guess they expected anons to agree with them and not be mad at them. i appreciate u anon ;_;

Anonymous asked: Just want to say that ily and you’re one of the best jojo fanfic writers in my opinion 💗 I don’t think you’re half assing jojo fics and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you being multi fandom. A lot of jojo blogs have started posting about jjk so it’s not as if you’re the only one. I’m not sure why you get hate like this but I think it’s just because you’re one of the popular writers and that makes people bitter for whatever reason. Keep being you and posting about the things that make you happy 💕

honestly after so long writing for jojo - i’ve written well over 200 jojo reader insert fics - sometimes it feels like i’m retreading stuff, and that’s when i take a break bc i dont wanna half-ass stuff!!! i love all of my fellow jojo friends who are posting about jjk too, i appreciate them <3. 

Anonymous asked: Hey my dude, ur writing has really grown since the jojo days and its better and awesome seeing u become happier to branch off and write in different fandoms 🤌🤌 those stupid anons are just boring farts that couldnt be bothered making their own content 😤😤 is it possible to block them to ease ur mind?

hello anon!! i run a statcounter for IPs but it doesnt always work for ppl who access through the tumblr app, i don’t think; a lot of the anon hate i get i just use the ‘block’ option, but last night got to me because i’ve been getting that kind of writer a lot which is . . . a bad look for the jojo fandom who are, as a whole from the ones i’ve interacted with, lovely!!! <3

Anonymous asked: People often forget, the person behind art or writing, is just another regular fan. You deserve to be happy with what you create and we should be thankful you share your talent with us. You also have right to change your main interests, and it's very normal thing. Jojo is one of the MANY things that you write for and all you get from that is a like or share. Its not your job. It's your fun thing to do, in spare time. You haven't betrayed anybody. That person was just rude, selfish and bored.

i am just a person doing my best!!! anime fanfic is one of many interests i have and i already devote a lot of time to it honestly, i love when people tell me they’ve enjoyed something i made bc it makes it feel worthwhile but equally it gets to me a lot when people are rude because i am usually trying my hardest. 

Anonymous asked: Bro that jjba anon... the entitlement🤮 Fam, you write whatever you want to write😤 -Saturday

dfnjbkjnkgf i find most fic readers are NOT entitled at all and are just grateful but when they are . . . oof. 

Anonymous asked: It's funny how people throw "we got you popular" and they think you start apologize and cry. Your writing and passion made you gain few numbers on a follow counter, nothing more. I think I'm too old for stuff like this, we are nothing more, but +1 on a number scale. You ow us nothing, we ow you nothing. Popular... Funny word. You just write for fun of it, fake scenarios about someone's manga characters. It's not that deep. Have fun and don't listen to people like this. I knew it's not that easy, but they are really not that important as they think they are.

extremely fun fact for people who think ‘popularity’ is important to me: i would 100% rather have 10 people who regularly comment, reblog my fics with tags and interact with me than 100 people who read my fic and either leave a like or simply move on. i think this is true for the VAST MAJORITY of writers tbh. i’m glad that people think i am a ‘popular’ blog (i am not in the grand scheme of things, one of my ex-best friends used to run a kpop reader insert blog with like 30,000 followers) bc it gives me an ego boost lmao, but i really just want people to read and enjoy the stuff i write!!! 

Anonymous asked: I followed you a while ago for jojo and when my friends started getting into jjk i was like...eh sounds like work...but now that I see you writing for it I feel really motivated to get into it!!! I really enjoy your writing and I want to be able to read the new stuff too!

ah anon i really hope you like it!!! it’s only one season rn if u wanna watch the anime and there isn’t too much of the manga to catch up on either but it is a lot of fun and it’s nice to be in a fandom that’s like, excited about a new chapter and new plot developments every week!

Anonymous asked: Pls dont reply if u dont want to! <3 I'm not sure if this will be of any help to you or not but this is the kind of thing that often helps me and is the only way I know to try comfort others so I wanted to give it a go~

Now im not gonna say 'dont feel bad pls' bc I know that's not really useful but what I do think is useful is just discussing why that anon and many others feel the need to respond that way. As someone who follows a lot of writing blogs myself and have done for a long time, i've seen my handful of favourite writers come and go for different reasons, lose motivation for a while, gain motivation for a while, go from multi to single fandom, or single fandom to multi. Often times as a reader it can be upsetting when things change but it's also important as a reader to understand that some things aren't in anyone's control, I can't control what my favourite writers become a fan of or lose interest of, I can't control things in their personal lives that may motivate or demotivate them to write, but what I can do is support them as long as they're active, and if they move on to do things i'm no longer interested in or i'm the one that changed interests, rather than being upset that they're evolving to do other things or that they're not evolving with me, I think it's important that I still feel thankful for the works that I enjoyed while we were still on the same page and this is how I personally deal with those negative feelings. I think the anons that lash out at you probably just dont know what to do with themselves, maybe they got attached to your works while you were still only a jjba blog and now that you're evolving they're upset, while I understand how they feel, they're going the completely wrong way about it. I've learned to take these things and turn them into something positive for myself or at least something bittersweet that I can move on from but the anons that lash out at you for whatever reason probably haven't learned this yet. Maybe it's because i've moved on and changed interests a lot myself that I know how these things go for both writers and readers but those anons maybe haven't experienced this as much so they dont know what to do with themselves other than complain that you've changed and throw insults at you in an attempt to get you to revert back. None of this is because of the quality of your writing like they want you to believe, it's literally just because you've evolved and while some of your old followers might not like the new content for no reason other than it not being their cup of tea, it's definitely not regressed at all. You are pumping out a lot of content right now but every single thing i've read has just been better than the last. Things that really stand out to me is how well you get characterisation down to a T and all of your dialogue is just on point and from the pov of a reader I think those things seem the hardest to get right so I am such a huge fan of your stuff at the moment and I can tell you're really putting so much thought and care into each and every fic no matter how fast you're producing it, I think the fact that you're also proud of what you're writing at the moment really shines through as well and I just adore the passion that radiates from every completed request as well as in the responses for the subsequent thirsts resulting from these works that appear in your ask box later (I know i've sent quite a few by now~)

Just to be clear i'm not defending those anons in any way, while I can understand what they might be feeling/why they're reacting in the way they are I still believe it's just so immature to be hateful online point blank. Even during a time where I still got upset with writers if they started doing something else I still never targeted that negativity directly to the writer and sending rude or hateful comments whether on anon or not never something i'd stooped low enough to do even when I still had an immature way of thinking, however, I hope that it might make it a little easier to brush them off if we try and understand what they're really upset about, and that they're just putting the blame for their negative feelings onto the wrong thing rather than coming to terms with change themselves.

hello anon!! i appreciate the long message. i do feel bad for people who have no interest in what i’m currently producing and i get that they feel upset about it; i’ve watched a lot of fellow jojo writers move on completely or just stop posting, honestly. this kind of thing is why i was so intense about asking people if it would be better if i made a separate blog but the resounding answer seemed to be ‘i’m just vibing with whatever happens and i’ll block tags as needed’. 

i often return to works by my favourite reader-insert writers who no longer write for the fandoms i like (and i read stuff bc it sounds interesting or i trust the person who writes it), but change can be difficult and i guess at this point i’ve - whether u like me or not lmao - been a fixture in jojo reader-insert tumblr for a While so it’s probably kind of jarring. 

anyway i really appreciate you and the nice words! <3 

Anonymous asked: hi nat! I just wanted to pop in and say that regardless of what fandom you write for, the love and care you pour into your writing and into interacting with followers who care about your work as well is really obvious. you're doing this for FREE and people should appreciate what you've given us so far, since ultimately this blog should be for you, whatever that means to you at any point in time. it's ok to jump fandoms! the important thing is that you feel good about what you're producing and that it makes you happy. everyone else is just a bonus - but, seeing you on my dash certainly makes me happy : ) I hope you feel better soon!

thank you anon! i’m feeling much better and happier today. birthdays are very difficult for me (i did not think i’d be alive at eighteen, much less 25!) so this event is definitely kind of a way for me to concentrate on something else, and i’m a little bit extra sensitive atm. i appreciate you so much, thank you for the kind words!!! <3

Anonymous asked: Hello! I just wanted to say, write what YOU want and make YOUR writings as long as you'd like. 💖 To the anon who is like "We mAdE yOu FaMoUs dOnt HalF asS iT" stfu, let people do what they wanna do. If you think they half do it, write something better and longer you asshat.

this is an open invitiation to that anon to send me a link to their writing blog and i’ll hype them up i promise <3 

Anonymous asked: nat i'm so so sorry about that ask please know that your older followers don't share the same opinion :( sometimes people forget about the living, breathing person behind the screen smh. you are not a machine. you absolutely should not restrict yourself to posting about one fandom forever. yes, we're first pulled in by your amazing content, but we stay for your wonderful personality and work ethic. please just keep being you, taking up projects you feel comfy with! <333 bless u

ahh thank u anon! unfortunately i actually am a writing robot, i’m sorry u had to find out this way. my jojo chip has been removed, please send it back so i can continue to not half-ass my jojo work. fgnjkbgjkfn thank you so much angel!!! i appreciate you ;_;.

Anonymous asked: i don’t think it’s fair for other people to say shit about what you choose to write about because on tumblr and other writing platforms, writers are constantly developing how they write and the fandoms that they write for. it’s not fair for someone to criticize that “you don’t care about jjba blah blah blah” because you can enjoy new shows/manga. and like you said you’ve grown so much!! proud of you nat and im glad that ive been able to read your works (sincerely other nat)

i am STILL waiting for you to come and fight me other nat fgnjkbnf. it’s nice to be enjoying different things! i am constantly learning new things and reading new works and making new friends and improving and i think that’s important. i do care about jjba - a lot! but i can care about other things too! <3 

Anonymous asked: I may not be one of your oldest followers, but i've been here for almost 3 years. Yes, i started following u for ur jojo content, but let me tell u, ur newfound motivation and enthusiam for other fandoms was honestly contagiuos for me. And i say this as a person who finds very difficult to move from one interest to another. Jojo is great, but so are other fandoms. Please don't let some faceless scum rob u that motivation. This is ur blog and u r always free to write whatever u want.

honestly, i have been there! i am autistic and i have special interests and watching other people move on to stuff i’m not vibing with has made me sad in the past, but i want people to be happy more than anything and sometimes that means new things and change! <3 

Anonymous asked: Hi Nat! I saw that rude anon message & I just wanted to pop in & say that they're wrong. You're not betraying anyone & you should write whatever it is you want to write. I followed you for jojo & I'm not familiar with the other fandoms that you write for, but personally it makes me SO happy to see you enjoying new things! It's always good to find joy wherever you can, so keep writing what you're interested in. There a lot of ppl who want to see you happy and healthy <3

honestly the idea of it being a GRAND BETRAYAL is so funny, i am just writing anime fanfic here and thriving!!! tysm anon! <3

Anonymous asked: Those anons can piss off! They have no right to judge how long or how short your writing is. If they want longer content write it their damn selves. I think your writing has improved wonderfully and I originally followed for Jojo and I'm enjoying all the content period. I don't even watch jujutsu ( not my cup of tea personally) but I love seeing the creativity and the interactions. You write what makes you happy Nat and that's on that! You don't owe anybody anything! I know how hard writing is and when your consuming new content it's hard to make content for something else. That doesn't mean you don't like it any more your just doing something different for a while. Love you and your content and I'm enjoying the love your putting into your content whether long or short. ♥♥💕 Sending love your way!

honestly my idea of ‘short content’ is still over 1k words, i’m not good at reeling myself in! i guess it’s bc they see like, 1.5k jojo fic versus 5k jjk fic but it’s not that i didn’t enjoy the first fic, just that the point and the story came a lot quicker and so did the natural end! thank you anon, i appreciate you ;_; 

Anonymous asked: Hello! Just wanted to let your know that I think your writing is awesome, and that you should write for whoever and for whatever you want to! You dont have to stay loyal to one fandom or anything, and your followers shouldn't expect that from you! It's not like they are paying you to write, you are doing this for free, and because you enjoy it and it makes you happy! If they dont like your stuff, they dont have to follow you, they can go to other blogs that cater to their taste, and they definitely don't need to be sending you such hurtful comments, and they dont get to make you feel sad about your writing! Just because they followed you during your earlier stages of writing, doesn't mean you owe them some type of loyalty or compensation! You can write literally whatever you want as long as it makes you happy! That's what your hobby and your blog are for! I hope you know that alot of your followers love your work and think that you are an amazing writer and are down to support the work that makes you happiest! 💖💖

ahh thank you so much anon!!! i am always so bowled over by how many people are nice to me when something like this happens, i am sending you my love <3

Anonymous asked: don’t listen to them!! we love you as a writer no matter what you write, because you’re a good person and a talented writer!! you shouldn’t have to change what you write to please a bitter person, and if they only want jjba, they can go to another blog instead of bringing you down. you’re doing amazing and they should be thankful you grace us with your talents!!

to be totally honest, if i was half-assing or not vibing with content i was making i just. wouldn’t post it. like you’d be able to TELL when i was half-assing stuff just to get words out (source: i have re-read my own nanowrimo works). there are lots of great jjba blogs who could do with more followers n interaction!!! i hope they do find them and i hope they’re nice to them :(. 

Anonymous asked: Please don’t pay attention to that anon. People only have that confidence when they have anon turned on. Them looking through your blog despite feeling that way is peak fan behavior and speaks to how addicting your writing is. Naturally, you can’t please everyone and there will be people who are irrational and feel entitled to tell you what to do or what to write no matter what. Trust me when I say they’re a small minority and are more likely probably passing viewers rather than regulars. I check your blog about three or more times a day because I love reading not just your fics but also your takes, banter with other anons, or even random updates. Brainrot posts? LOVE TO SEE IT!!! Desk update? AMAZING!!! With that being said, don’t feel pressured to continue pushing out content for others. Write what makes you happy! You’ve been writing for JJBA for 4 years and it’s completely normal + healthy to get into new media. I’m not sure if it would mean much, but your love for JJK has gotten me excited to start it too!!

anon i really hope you enjoy it!!! sometimes these anons remember stuff i’ve posted and said better than i do tbh, i am living in their heads rent free i guess! 

Anonymous asked: I've been following you for a couple of years and honestly it would always be a joy to see when you posted. Your writing has improved and I'm very happy you're enjoying yourself ! I know it hurts hearing and seeing stuff like that but I'm happy you're here. I'm honestly blessed everytime you post. Your writing is phenomenal. I love reading it even if its characters that I dont care for. You capture their essences so well and weave an amazing tale within the prompts and whatnot. You're amazing nat!

wehh thank you so much!!! re: the improvement, i really don’t feel like it has and then i re-read something i wrote when i first started and i’m like oh my god maybe it has. did i really write about jotaro acting like that. 

Anonymous asked: Hi Nat. I recently became a follower of yours and I'm really saddened to see you get hate. You seem like a genuinely sweet person with amazing talent! I'm a writer myself and, unfortunately, get the same kind of comments. And when you get those comments, it doesn't leave you feeling motivated. People need to understand that people can and will, at times, grow out of fandoms. (1 Not just that but you're doing all of this for free. Again, I'm sorry you got such a comment. But please know that I'm proud of how far you've come. I'm proud that you're living a life that makes you happy. And no matter what fandom you may find yourself in next, I will always enjoy your writing. Take care of yourself. (2 end

HELLO NEW FOLLOWER I LOVE YOU (i get a lot more a day now than i used to and i feel guilty about not being able to look through so many blogs but i do try and follow back other writers for my fandoms!! ;_;). i’m sorry you get the same kind of comments! i’m always just happy to see people i like enjoying new things, even if i have no interest in it (hello to all of my mutuals who write for hunter x hunter and haikyuu, not interested but i’m sure you’re having a great time and i support you!!!). 

Anonymous asked: I'm sure you're getting a barrage of supportive messages now (at least I hope so) but I figured I'd add my voice, because I'm a longtime follower. Your writing is, and always has been, wonderful. I've been so happy to see you and Haz get to a place that works for you both. Idk if it's obvious for everyone, but you seem like you're emotionally in a pretty good place most of the time these days, and it makes me really happy to see that. I followed years ago for JJBA content, but I stayed because regardless of what content you put out, I find your wit delightful. And I'll stick around even if you move fandoms entirely, because whatever content or editorializing you produce is going to be worth reading, regardless of what it's for.

ahh, anon!! thank you for sticking around so long, sorry if you’re old enough to have been around the vore and jorts and spider rohan fiascos! <3 i am definitely a lot more stable than i have been and - barring the Pandemic Related Mental Health Issues - happier! i’m glad that it’s noticeable! <3

Anonymous asked: It actually makes me mad how entitled some people are. Nat, you're not a content creating machine and those who expect you to be are not worth wasting a thought on. Your love for something is not measured in word counts and for you to write every day without getting burned out in the slightest you really must have a burning passion and huge dedication to your craft. If others decide to send hate then allow me to send admiration because I can feel your love and hard work in each post you make!

i try and write every day bc it’s super good for my little ocd/autistic brain to have routines and distract itself, so i’m glad other people can enjoy them because that makes me motivated to carry on! like, i write for myself mostly bc the content i want i sometimes get find, but filling requests and writing for other people also leaves me with happy warm fuzzies too! i appreciate you!! <3 

Anonymous asked: If people only care about your writing for the jojo porn that’s on THEM, not you. Your writing was amazing when I followed about a year ago, and it’s only gotten better and will continue to get better! I think it really comes through when you enjoy what you’re writing and it adds a whole other layer of worth to it, because not only are you making free content but you LIKE that content and we can all gush about it together!!! More than just fans, I think you’ve created a community here and we don’t just stick around to read smut, I promise you that. -Reronon

i do miss having a discord community bc it was nice to talk to everyone in real time but it was hard work, i am glad that people feel like they can just come into my askbox and gush! i’m not very friendly in real life and people tend to think i am cold and stuck up so i work very hard to try and seem friendly and approachable online, which is much easier for me because i get to think and re-draft before i type! <3 

Anonymous asked: Hi Nat! I’m sure you’re getting a lot of messages like this right now but I just wanted to say for what it’s worth that, as a person who originally followed you for jjba content and hasn’t watched/read any of the other series you’re currently writing for, I’m honestly still along for the ride. This is your blog and you’re allowed to do what you want with it and put out what content you feel like writing. Sometimes??? People acquire new interests??????? Shocking! I know absolutely nothing about jjk or bnha but out of curiosity still read some of your posts about them and even though I might not Get It, I still enjoy them because I think you’re a very talented writer! Honestly, as long as you’re still writing, I’m still down to clown, and whenever you take breaks (which are important!) I’ll still be waiting for your return or supporting and respecting your decision to stay away longer. Don’t let the entitled assholes get you down. Utilize YOUR blog and YOUR space however YOU choose. Your talent and kindness speak for themselves. Love you!!! ❤️❤️❤️

anon i care about you and i am so appreciative of you and everyone for sending me such nice messages! i am running out of ways to say it but it’s true, it really does mean a lot to me ;_; <3

[horde-princess]

SPOP has been my comfort show for the past two years (wich were particularly difficult for me) and now that I'm starting college it always makes me feel at home and brings back good memories. And since the fandom is becoming less active, it always cheers me up to see your posts and your interactions with other people who are still fans. You seem very kind and funny and I hope your doing great ❤️

😭❤️❤️❤️❤️ anon im emotional? tysm.. its so cool to hear how she-ra has impacted you. and listen it might FEEL like the fandom is dying just bc a lot of what we used to do was theorizing about canon, but maybe our experience with the show isnt ending just.. changing? :) i still see so many incredible fic writers and artists out here making content and thats how the story will continue now in our hearts 💖 for example one blog im loving rn is @scrawnycatra bc shes SO excited about her fics and it gives me the same kind of feeling as being on a hiatus or smth. i havent even read them but just like seeing her on my dash is comforting (lsjdkdkdj dont be offended i PROMISE i plan to read them SOON im just not a big fic reader lolol. just accept my blog rec and go)

anyway im soo excited for you that youre starting college!!! thats awesome!! ❤️❤️ it sounds like you moved away for it? which is probably both a lil scary and exciting 🌸 but its an opportunity to reinvent yourself, discover who you are / want to be, find a good supportive community etc.. its a big adjustment but youre gonna do amazing fam :) biggest piece of unsolicited advice = pay attention to your physical/mental/social health and dont be afraid to ask for help if you need it!! literally no one in college knows whats going on ever. also become best friends with an academic counselor. WERE GONNA WIN IN THE END 💪✨🌈

[punk-rock-uncle]

A final good bye and final log out

This is not a suicide not so no need to worry. Many of you that follow me probably barely remember my blog, it wasnt very big or fancy. I barely know how to code or make my blog look like anything but, that is neither here nor now. I wanted to say good bye I have a bad habit of leaving without saying anything and disappearing for weeks at a time. I guess abusive relationships will teach you that. I went silent on this blog around 3 years ago when I started college. But I wanted to talk about why I started this, the ending will be saved most obviously till the end. I started this blog in a way to find friends, in 2012 internet friends were all the rage and I wanted to be a part of that so I started a tumblr. But was not active on it till 2014. In high school I grew a bit of a following around sophomore year 2015. I would constantly rant on this account and people would watch but not say much. It bothered me a bit that I was never “Tumblr Famous” but I knew people who were, so I would live on through them. Tumblr a lot in high school, I was too afraid to do anything but I knew in the back of my mind that I would get there in my own time. Tumblr, in that sense was kind to me and never made me feel like I had to be pressured to do anything and would constantly educate me from maters of social justice and the Black Lives Matter movement, sex education, gender expression, sexuality, art and astrology. I saw all the drama and surprisingly enough stayed away from the super toxic side of tumblr pushing minors to do more and more and more.  It was safety net and whenever my parents would do what they do best I always had the arms of my blog to run and cry to. It made the darkest days a little brighter, people reblogging free movie sites and calming gifs were my saving grace when I was 14 and suicidal. As high school went on I found myself in a relationship and put all my time, money, effort, energy, my whole being into this one person who would end raping me an using my past against me. I was still active and would talk about him on here including our fights. But as the fights got more violent and heated, the less I would post about him and one day all together I stopped posting on here, for what I thought was for good. I wanted to reach out on tumblr and ask “is any of this normal?” “why do we fight so much?” “is it normal for your partner to make you feel this afraid?” “is it normal for them to talk about sex 24/7″ “is it normal to feel afraid and cry during sex?” I wanted to reach out so badly. I knew I couldn’t and it was a stupid reason why I couldn’t. I was afraid of the judgment, because no one here talks about the small intricacies of domestic violence and how it breaks down every part of you. So I went quiet, I stopped talking about him, stopped posting him and he never care. I was put on meds after he raped me, stopped sleeping and eating. After the meds failed to stop the development of PTSD I started smoking and drinking heavily. After all of that I stopped being on tumblr because things were not the same and stuff that made me happy before just stopped bringing me joy. I thought no one here would care about what I have to say and his words and actions confirmed that even more. Eventually I broke it off 8 months later and my friends never believed me that he was abusing me. Life is better now, I lived abroad, I have an apartment with a new boyfriend, hes nice we have our ups and downs but we came from a hard life so someone loving you is a hard thought to accept for both of us. We both have toxic cycles we need to break but he’s good and he’s teaching me to be kind. I would love to continue on this hellsite but I have other things now, bigger and better things. I am just simply a ghost now of a website where I used to poor out all of my traumas and for one last time I will do that. For any 16 year old who stumbles across this post please read through till the end (if you can) because I want to tell you things I wish someone told me at 16/ entered my first relationship.

Your bf, gf and/or partner should never do/say these things and other small warning signs of DV 

1. if sex hurts a lot for you it is because you are not comfortable, communicate this and if they refuse to understand why leave 

2. If your partner scares you so much to the point where you have a panic attack thinking about them, then leave 

3. you will fall out of love in your first relationship, as shitty as it is, it’ll happen. It’s okay, you can leave. Just like you out grow clothes you will outgrow people. 

4. let people leave, I know this is hard to accept but people will leave and the universe will have something in store for you 

5. YOU DO NOT NEED TO BE HAVING SEX AT 16 IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO I LOST MY VIRGINITY AT 19 IT IS NORMAL!

6. it is normal for you and your partner to have conversations about what to say when people constantly ask you if yall have done the deed it is not normal for your partner to tell you to lie and say you have (when you havent); leave if they do this trust me 

7.If your partner is asking about sex 24/7 and its making you uncomfortable then say something, maybe they don’t mean any harm by it! but if once you’re done with the convo and it didn’t make you feel better you should leave 

8. its okay to leave 1st relationships aren’t meant to last 

9.something my mom said that made me feel better: just because you’re breaking up now doesn’t mean you’re breaking up forever 

10. please don’t force yourself to have sex it’s a very toxic cycle. Easy to get into but hard to break out of 

11. you can be alone, you don’t have to date all the time

12. if your partner's parent is bullying you tell your partner that it makes you uncomfortable talk to them about it. Now I understand parents are hard especially when your 16 and younger (hell parents @ 21 are still tough to deal with) and if your partner says “well I can’t tell them off because of xyz” then make a compromise on how to deal with the situation. If your 1st partner’s parents don’t like you it’s not the end of the world and if bugs you that much YOU CAN ALWAYS LEAVE 

13. on the other hand if you tell your partner, they don’t take it seriously and they still beg you to visit their family then leave, you’re not married you’re young I will probably say this a thousand more times BUT YOU CAN ALWAYS LEAVE 

14. YOU CAN ALWAYS LEAVE, YES IT WILL SUCK, YES YOU’LL CRY AT EVERYTHING BUT IT IS OKAY NOTHING IS PERMANENT AND THAT IS A GOOD THING 

15. do not waste your first relationship on couples counseling ( yes I did that and he still owes me $250 for the session I was dumb & 17 don’t get mad @ me) 

16. if your relationship makes you extremely angry leave, that anger means something, listen to it. 

17. if you are like me and was raised in a very abusive household with parents that constantly abuse you just know that not every relationship is like that and you won’t be like them but, you have to actively work on it not just say it out loud (BUT it does help saying it out loud, v comforting) 

18. if you break up, stay broken up (sometimes it works out for the better if they really want you they’ll try) 

19. NEVER LET YOUR PARTNER’S MOM DICTATE WHERE YOU GO TO COLLEGE TRUST ME YOU WILL REGRET IT 

20. if you are begging for the basics leave 

21. if they ignore your food allergy leave 

22. if they’re a mama’s boy please leave 

23. if they ignore your fears leave 

24. if they think violence is casual and necessary for relationships leave 

25. listen to their ex’s even if you take it with a grain of salt please listen 

26. if you need to come up with an escape plan you’re in a toxic and possibly abusive relationship 

27. it’s okay if you don’t have the courage to leave right now but know, you can’t stay forever 

28. if they use past trauma against you, leave. 

also a word of advice for friends who know people who have been in DV situations

1. if we trauma dump just know we are sorry but please stop us and talk through it later (if you can) 

2. don’t ask why they didn’t leave sooner it’s not your buisness 

3. we don’t know we are being abused, if you know but we don’t please be patient. The mind is a tricky thing. 

4. DO NOT SAY “how did you not know” “you’re stupid for not knowing” “you’re making it up” “told you so” or anything else condescending, we feel stupid and we just want support 

well that’s all I have folks! Thank you tumblr for all the laughs and all the cringe.  I hope this post is insightful and please feel free to add on.

love <3 

Punk-Rock-Uncle :) 

[lgbtpolitics]

Why do you hate the terms exclusionist and inclusionist?

Many reasons:

1) It sems this idea that exclusionist and inclusionist are Very Important Worldviews, like conservatives v liberals, facist v anti facist. It is one opinion on a very niche topic. Even if you broaden it to correlated attitudes towards gender and sexuality such as whether you should just pick labels or do they have concrete meaning, it still is a drop in the ocean when thought about relative to the depths of politics and social issues. People will be making a perfectly good point about something unrelated and you'll see "OP is an exclusionists dont rb" as though it matters, as though their position on this one issue is fundamental to whether we can listen to their opinions.

2) Its all very "pick a side and defend it". I mentioned on here a few days ago about how I dont really know why inclusionists are so convinced it is a good thing for the two communities to be considered as one. No one ever actually seems to talk about this because they're so engrossed in defending their pre chosen position, they dont really stop and evaluate it either. I also think this is why so many people defend really weird stuff like demiromantics being lgbt, because it came from "their side" so not agreeing is "conceeding with the other side".

3) There is a huge amount of unnecessary, and frankly harmful hostility between these two crowds - coming from, imo, this idea that they are two camps, no overlap no nuance. This is a problem because, as above, it just leaves no room for contemplating your own opinions or thinking properly about what the other person said because that is "losing", also some of the topics discussed are actually quite sensitive and really need to not have this hostility.

The example that jumps to mind is the "Can/should asexuals have sex?" - not inclu v exclu by definition but highly correlated. If you're discussing the intrecacies of sexual consent and how it affects people you need to be compassionate and empathetic to the person you are talking to. I see far too often asexual people saying they have sex so clearly they can have sex, exclusionists then start shouting that that is rape, they are promoting rape rhetoric... And like do you realise what you are saying? You are talking to someone who you apparently believe has had sexual trauma, telling them that they have sexual trauma but not out of concern and certainly not with any gentle touch but you're actively angry with them and telling them they've been raped to win the argument. Lesbians also just get tossed around like pawns in this argument "Are you saying its okay for men to have sex with lesbians? So lesbians should get raped" countered with "Are you saying if a lesbian ever sleeps with a man she should be thrown out of lesbianism? Gold star terf much..." which basically is saying yes lesbians can want sex with men, but wording it in a way that is an impossible to respond to strawman, its honestly all just fundamentally BS and nasty and that kind of nastiness has no place in a discussion around these kinds of topics.

4) People view these like communities where everyone is connected with each other, I frequently get comments like "take that up with your own side bc they say this thing!" and I'm just like who on earth is 'my side'?? I see things from people like "if they arent bigots why havent exclus/inclus deplatformed x blog" and these are typically people who would consider me one of the opposing side and again I'm like who is this? How am I supposed to deplatform them? I say something like I dont wanna be called the queer community and people get the impression that I'm in some kind of exclusionist hit squad. I'm really not.

[kolsmikaelson]

@kempe- okay i love you so much, you deserve the whole world, youre so kind, and talented, and i love your writing,and smart, and funny and so much more you deserve the whole entire world

@jackiesquinn i know you havent been active in a few days and i dont know when you’ll be back on but i love you so much and in always here for you bubby, youre such an amazing writer and i cant wait to see more of what you write in the future!

@calesykar- you make me so so so happy!!!! i love your writing so much!!! youre such an amazing human and you deserve the world. im so glad we met!

@hymarners - babe! im super glad you found my blog! we’ll definitely be friends for a long time! youre so sweet! i cant wait to get to talk to you more!!

@folkloreflyers - we havent interacted too much butttt we definitely will in the future and im glad we met!

@bestestbenn i literally love you so much although we haven’t spoken too much youre one of the sweetest people!!

@vinceduhn i’ve known you for so long and seeing all your writing is amazing im so glad i came across your blog when i did! youre the sweetest!

@mxltifandoms06 i love you so much! i’ll keep interacting and showing you the pops i get from my calendar every morning!! you’re amazing!!

im so stunned any of you want to be my friend but im so thankful and i love you all so so much if any of you EVER need anyone PLEASE talk to me i can listen anytime!!!

[chrospw-doodles]

When the Ink doesn’t flow

So... for starters this is a rant I wrote somewhere between september and november of 2020, it was intended to be posted in my main blog @chrispriceway back then, but I decided to put this here to avoid being too too personal there, I mean it is supposed to be a happy place to goof around and show you cool stuff, that’s why I made this side blog, to be more personal and less awkard so, yeh.

Chris-Jan.2021

What's up everybody, I know I haven't posted anything in a while and I wanted to adress my abcense and some other stuff that I wanted to talk about but never knew how to bring it up.

So, to those who follow me and dont really know who am I as a content creator:

hi, the name is Christian, you can call me Chris, I'm somewhat of an artist and like to post my stuff here.

Now, even if you have been following me for a while you may have noticed that I really don't post very often and that I haven't been around for a while even if I claim that I'm trying to be more active, well I think it's about time to talk about the issue and make some big changes around here.

But first of all, why does it even matter?

Well, to be honest the past three to four years I haven't really seen my online connection as serious business since I am primarly a student, and school does suck all of my time, the problem with that is that I really feel like I havent been respectful to you, the audience, not that I owe you anything but since I am now trying to make a living from my art, it is necessary to take this connection between the audience seriously and with a bit more respect.

In those three years all I've ever did was too much talk and too little deliver, so I apologize to those people who were really invested into the stuff I do, I really appreciate you guys.

So with that aside...

I wanted to talk about mental health.

well MY mental health

I know what you may be thinking, "what the heck Chris? What does this have to do with you being a lazy ass biss?"

Well, it's kinda simple as it is complicated so I will be putting here some bullets to make it easier to you to navigate through and to let you know how long it is going to be to those who really really just want to skip this post already

Introduction

Danplan Drama

College is a biss

When job becomes priority over school

How did all of this affect my mental state

And how I feel about it

Final thoughts

I'm not okay

Well, was, not anymore (mostly), or at least not as serious as I was some monts ago. Listen, shit went down, it's 2020 and that was inevitable, but I really want to go trough some points to give you context.

This year has been specially rough to me because of some circumstances that a few may know, but for context I'll be telling you about it.

The danplan shit did a lotta damage my bros

Ah, yes, long story short, I was an animator in that channel before the figgin drama

But it wasnt really that bad, you see, I really think that it was inevitable that it was going to end like that because of how are those two, but at the time I had to shut a lot of stuff because I didn't wanted to make it worse as the other animators did... but in retrospective, If we had talked about how we felt about the issue in that moment maybe it could have been better, or maybe not, I don't know and maybe I'll post a rant about it some other time (or maybe I wont), the point. is.

It was emotionally taxing, and to be honest it screwed me very bad. You see, I know I am not that good of an artist in comparisson to the others, nor have the best management of my social media, or another project to keep me on the public eye for a while, and since I went back to school I couldnt possible be hired by another channel because of my lack of time; so loosing my job at danplan was a HUGE deal to me because I knew that none of the jobs available in my country could pay off as good nor be as flexible as being an animator was, so that whole ordeal was really, really frustrating.

Then school became a living hell

Since I escentially lost that job I did try desperately to find anything as good to fill the void (it sounds dramatic but believe me, it felt really bad fam.) So the opportunity presented itself and I took a bone in stephen's channel.

In all honesty it was a good job and it was quite fun, but I didn't really stayed as a full time animator, I believe it was due lack of time or maybe my style wasn't really what they were going for, and tbh fair game... but it was still bad news for me because I was that desperate to find a new job, and I was so inmersed on doing that so I wasn't taking good care of my grades.

So now I had two problems, no job, and I was doing terrible on school because of my obsession with the job hunting.

And at the time I was still part of the community...

I was very active in the dp community and in Pau's server, I found great people and did some art because I really felt happy about it...

But honestly, that didn't last long.

School started to be a real problem and I did fail two of my school subjects, at the end of the semester I was burned out, and sleep deprived, so there was that.

One of my finals was a video talking about the drama and stuff and I've never finished it because I ran out of time and eventually I didn't felt it right abaut it, because it was like opening a grave again, like it was something too disrespectful even if it was originally intended for the sake of the animators, to give them, us, some justice at the end of the day... but I couldn't do it. It wasn't fair to everyone else because they moved on.

And that was the beginning of this crappy thing I've been carrying around.

I just. Can't. Finish. Anything.

I just overthink everything and fail before I begin any of the pieces, or Im about to finish but change my mind because Its. Not. Good. Enough.

I have a TON of pieces that never saw the light of the day BECAUSE I'm not in the right state of mind, and it is painful, because I love doing art as much as I love engaging with you guys, even if you are a few to maybe 10 people, I enjoy it. And It sucks to not be able to do stuff because I feel crappy.

And I know for fact that feeling crappy it's a crappy excuse to not do anything

But I don't mean that to anyone else but myself, because I feel like I could be better and do better, but... it isn't working, the global situation did some damage too, and I've been manageing, still, I haven't been able to finish a lot of stuff and honestly, I just want to come back before I become a ghost account.

So what's up? What's poppin'?

The plan is to try to force myself to finish at least one piece per week to keep this alive until I find the will to work normally again.

Maybe it's not the best solution, but I think this will motivate me a little since I really want to materialize some projects that I have had on the back of my head for a long time now, and I really want to start em' and share it with you along the way... so yeah, that's basically it.

Well, that was a long one, and if you happened read this far, thank you, I really appreciate it.

I hope I will be seeing you soon...

Stay creative, my dudes.

[ateezgf]

about me tag ✨

tagged by @lsygf 😌💗 

rules: answer the questions and tag people you’d like to get to know better (under the read more)

what do you prefer to be called name-wise?

either mika or miks works with me !!! mika is my actual name and miks is a nickname my friends call me~ 

when is your birthday?

sept. 29 :D 

where do you live?

southern cali <3

three things you are doing right now?

procrastinating, talking to my bffie, thinking about my gf <3

four fandoms that have piqued your interest.

UHHH i’ll just say this as like.. groups, but: enhyphen, black swan, secret number, and alexa :D these are groups i’ve been wanting to check out but am also.. procrastinating on <3

how has the pandemic been treating you?

UH... i guess it’s been alright? i feel like not much has changed tbh. like i havent had a huge gloup or anything crazy. OH !! i guess it’s been good since i learned how to use photoshop/make gifs~ hehe

a song you can’t stop listening to right now?

it just is by eaj x seori 

recommend a movie.

scott pilgram vs. the world !! it’s my favorite movie ever. i could watch it over and over hehe

how old are you?

21 !!!

school, university, occupation, other?

im a full-time college student & part-time worker </3 the full early 20′s package

do you prefer heat or cold?

i like cold weather bc i can always get warmer, but i’ve also lived with warm weather my whole life so hmhmhmhmhmmmmm 

name one fact others may not know about you

a lot of people think im kind of scary when im genuinely mad/upset NGKSDFJNG. like alex is like.. the only person on here to see me go completely blunt/mad & it’s very unexpected. 

are you shy?

tbh yeah?? but it doesn’t rly translate that much on here because well, it’s easier to talk to people. but irl, i have to work up a lot of courage to talk unless i can see the other person is MORE nervous so i put up that front because i like making people ✨comfy✨

pronouns?

she/her !

biggest pet peeves?

HHH just like.. blatant disrespect and when someone is super rude unprompted?? 

what is your favourite “dere” type?

hen-dere-y 

rate your life from 1-10, 1 being crappy and 10 being the best it could be.

 currently... i’ll give it like... a 6-8? depending on the day. 

what’s your main blog?

@ateezgf !! :D 

list your side blogs and what they’re used for

i have one active sideblog where i write with my bffie, but aside from that it’s just saved urls that i have 

is there something people need to know about you before becoming friends?

IM REALLY BAD AT REPLYING/TEXTING BACK GNSKDFJG. i promise it’s just me, but also ur like... 100% allowed to just message me whenever if you feel like it & i will respond~ even if im like... super late with it GKNSFDJ. also mutuals can ask for my kkt or discord if they want it :D !!!!!! 

tagging: @sanshine / @doyounged / @shuhuas / @wonhaoz / @jeong-wooyoung / @handongie / @shotarao-main / @jadethirwall / @jacksonyees / @99yh / @babieyangs 

[mindthewitch]

Okay out of pocket and may be too soon to say but I think I'm getting better.

Heres a list of why I think that:

I'm opening up more

I'm actually able to contribute to convos on the spot(normally id have to think bc anxiety, and I still do if its someone important or an iffy topic)

Ive been happy since my last panic attack(which is like 2 weeks and its really weird)

Ive been more willing to get work done(but one day I was super tired and didnt do a thing which was also nice)

From above^, I didnt badger myself for not doing anything

I'm practicing self-appreciating humor

I'm trying to be more confident and tell myself that I deserve to be treated better

I'm not hiding my feelings as much(unless my feelings will directly hurt someone)

I'm not falling back on my trauma when things are hard anymore, im thinking about how much better things will be when I get through it

Confidence is my goal atm and then I'll move to healing(but theyre kind of one and the same)

I wasnt really able to be the kind of friend I wanted to be when i was sad(because I was too focused on my sadness) but im trying to help my friends more, be brighter with them, call them cute names, be there for them, because they deserve that and I havent given them what they deserve

On cute names^ , its really hard for me to call someone a cute name bc I dont want them to be uncomfortable but I'm saying to myself, "its a term of endearment, and I want them to know they are loved"

I am liking my body and myself more(which is SUPER weird bc I hate myself) and im trying to do right by myself by eating better and not wallowing in my own self pity(I'm on the chunky side and I would like not to be)

Though it still needs work, I'm more confident in my ability to have a (romantic) partner, although im not good at long distance or anything so I wouldnt be able to keep it up

^^^^I'm also working on taking initiative and texting people first, starting conversations, making (jokes) icebrakers, being more interactive in classes, taking risks

Talking to people I like(am comfortable with) and avoiding people I dont like(those who make me uncomfortable, I just think theyre rude, or I think they dont like me)

I'm actually interested in learning again

I'm still struggling with motivation but im making movements to change that

I'm listening to some happier music(I LOVE sad songs and rock and everything but I never really had any music to suit a happy mood and now I do, but that rock shit still makes me happy)

I'm trying to get around assuming that people dont care, such as with this post. I'm posting it to get it off my chest and "I know no one cares, but why should I care? Its my blog." Thats what I'm saying.

I'm trying to step away from bad habits

I'm trying to grant myself fun where I can

I'm still struggling with the juggling of life but I'm going with the flow a bit more

I'm trying to get less annoyed at the little things

I'm exploring more of the media that makes me happy

I am actively seeking out methods of making myself happy; researching faith, ways of coping, meditation, grounding, nature(and natural remedies), just being in the moment, taking that time to just stand there( I did this recently: I had just come out of barnes and noble where I made a purchase I quite enjoyed(see the leaning ladies), I had a London fog latte, and I was just standing in the rain talking to my mom and laughing)

I am telling my mom more things, seeking out her advice and help rather than trying to do it myself so I'm not a burden bc she has told me she gets annoyed when im ALWAYS sad.(but sometimes I think shes annoyed when im happy and shes not too)

I'm being more vocal about who I am, what I like, who I like, why I do or dont like something(of course only with people who want to hear it, I'm not just spouting shit, although that may seem like its not the case bc of this post haha)