#LOOK idk where this came from but i really just wish someone gave him a hug and told him its okay

[tastefulstars]

after starcourt, after the russians and the mindflayer, Billy isn't doing well. His body has healed, faster than it should - the kids say it's a gift, Billy says it's a curse.

the group has gathered at harringtons house, the kids discussing the latest world ending events. You can't blame them, they're kids and they've been through so much, too much. They need to decompress somehow. You let them talk until one of them says an thoughtless comment about Billy, about how he killed half the town, and you see the moment Billy shudders, see the way he hunches in on himself and his eyes slip downwards.

"I mean this with no respect but shut the fuck up" you snap, anger welling in your veins.

The older teens try to placate and settle you, and the kids get worked up from being yelled at. You ignore them and move to Billy.

"Don't you dare listen to them. Everything that happened, whether you were in control or not, it happened, and everything you did, you did to survive. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. He tortured you, Billy, and not one of them -" you jab your finger at the group, "- could have held together as long as you did. Don't you dare listen to them when they have no idea what you went through, what you survived."

There's a stunned silence over the group as you finish speaking, you keep your eyes on Billy. Waiting for your words to sink in, his eyes drift up to you - watery and glassy, just like the ocean on a clear day. He leans towards you, seemingly seeking comfort from your presence.

"I couldn't- I couldn't stop it. Couldn't stop him." His voice cracks, breaks and waivers. Tears begin to fall and you reach for him, trying to hold him together.

"He kept showing me -" he cuts himself off, shuddering and gasping for air. You pull him in, wrap yourself around him, and let your own tears fall.

Billy clings to you as he silently cries into your neck. You shift slightly, glaring as best as you can and mouth 'fuck off' to the group.

They leave, some of the kids whispering questions at the older teens, and you just cling to Billy tighter, let his tears soak your shirt, and his fingers grip bruises onto your skin.

[babygirl-000p]

So I’ve met an incredible guy that’s makes me feel like I could take over the world💞 I think I owe some of you a story time for being so quiet for a while. And also i really enjoy writing them for you. So I’ll tell you about a day with this man (I asked what he wanted to be called in this story and he said Mr. O, O for orgasm🤪). Here it goes:

He lives in another town and we couldn’t see each other longer than a few hours during the day, so he drove an hour to visit me. First he picked me up and we decided to go a gallery and to have some lunch. He brought a bag of vibrators that he showed me before and told me we were using later.

I’m always so filled with emotions and so wet whenever I’m around him, and he says things like that he’s proud of me for being who I am and that I should listen to my heart and that he thinks I’m so beautiful and wonderful. I sort of wished for him to touch me in public but he just kissed me and looked at me with his really sexy eyes and told me that he couldn’t wait to make me cum for him later in the car.

As soon as we sat down in the car he gave me a wand and told me to use it while he was driving. So I spread my legs and put the vibrator between my legs. He told me I was being a good girl and that I should continue. We tried to find a place to park so we could have more fun, and since he doesn’t know this town I had to give him instructions while I was moaning and trying to focus.

He never lets me cum only once so when I came the first time he immediately told me to keep the vibrator where it was. I struggled a bit to keep it there because I’m a bit sensitive right after I orgasm, but I like it when he encourages and challenges me so I did my best to keep it there. I came two more times before we parked the car. When I was done he said “and what do we say?” And I said “thank you”.

We arrived to a place where we could park. It was next to a gardening center which I was sure was only open during the summer. So we parked there and he folded the backseat and covered it with blankets and pillows. He then asked me while I was still wearing clothes, so I got undressed and put my arms around his neck. He put his fingers inside of me and he said “wow” and told me I was really wet. He then put his now wet fingers in my mouth so that I could taste myself.

He fingered me until I came a few times, constantly telling me I’m a good girl and that I’m making him proud and such (I love that, it makes me crazy in the best possible way). Then we hugged and kissed and he made sure I had a minute of rest and some water before he spread my legs apart and got on top of me and started fucking me. While he was fucking me I got to have his fingers, and sometimes my own, in my mouth. We often keep eye contact during and it’s so intense. He then came inside of me while holding me really close to him💞

We then rested and talked for a while until he told me it was time for me to cum for him again. He then gave me a vibrator to hold while I had his fingers inside of me. I’m so comfortable around him and it feels so good that I can’t resist being loud. I catch myself almost screaming sometimes because I can’t control it at all.

Probably idk many orgasm later while I was resting my head on his chest, I saw something move outside the window. We looked more closely and saw that someone was sitting nearby just watching and having a cup of coffee or something. We immediately started getting dressed and trying to leave as fast as possible. It was cold and sunny and we had fogged up the car so bad that we had to use a shirt to try to get the windows dry before we could leave.

We then went and bought ‘fika’ and drinks (he had me put a vibrator inside of me and walk around with it while we were shopping) and then we went driving around the place where I grew up. I showed him places and told him stories from my life. We talked about memories, old lovers, sorrows and so on. He also made me cum a few more times in the car before we stopped by the water so that I could have a cigarette and so we could hug for a while.

He then drove me home and made me cum a few more times before kissing me and dropping me off. It was a perfect day with a perfect person💞

The picture is taking at his place, the mirror says “there’s no one like you”💞

[multi-fxndom446]

6 Months

John ‘Soap’ Mactavish X Reader

Summary: Johnny would come to your rescue any time you needed. He is thoroughly protective of you.

Warning: light angst, fluffy. Not much tbh. It may be a little rushed?? Idk anymore😭

Word count: 2.6k

•

This is Johnnys part two to his ‘You came? You called.’ Series.

His part one is here

Can’t tell if I hate this or not so hopefully yall like it🫶🏻

6 months.

6 months was how long it took before you introduced Johnny to your boyfriend. He wasn't sure if it was because he was deployed or because you were nervous about how he’d react to him

Because it was safe to say Johnny hated your boyfriend. It took him 6 months to meet him and less than 6 seconds to decide he hated him.

He didn’t like the way your boyfriend looked at you, or talked to and about you. He didn’t like the way your boyfriend's eyes would roam to other women when you weren’t looking. But he especially hated the way you smiled when you talked about him.

He hated the way your eyes would light up whenever his name left your lips. He hated the way you would blush when he would give you any sort of attention after ignoring you the whole night.

God if only you knew, Johnny would spend his days making you blush any chance he got. He’d give you so much attention you’d never have to beg him for a simple kiss on the cheek.

You’d never even worry about his attention being anywhere else but you because where else would they be if not you? His attention was already always on you, it had been since you two became best friends.

He tried to like your boyfriend he really did, or at least he wanted to be okay with him. Because your happiness topped anything he was feeling in the moment. He tried his hardest, he put on his best smile and was ready to lose you until he saw the cocky smirk your boyfriend had on his face when they made eye contact for the first time.

Johnny shook his hand stiffly as the other man sized him up. It was like he knew he had something that Johnny could only ever dream of having, your love. And what’s worse was the asshole never deserved it.

But he bit his tongue. Kept his opinions to himself, kept the harsh comments he had ready at bay.

Oh but how he wished he could hit your boyfriend, just once. One time would suffice. One time and he’d have it out of his system, one time to let him wipe the smug smile off his face.

That was all before your phone call though.

Now he was sat on his couch, knee bouncing anxiously as he tried to calm himself down. It was nearing the end of the second week of you staying with him and currently you were fast asleep in his bed, tears still staining your cheeks.

You were glad you left and he knew that but he also knew it was one of your longest relationships and when you loved someone you loved them with your whole heart.

Not only had he abused that but he tore it to shreds when he even suggested the idea of you cheating.

It made Johnny clench his jaw even tighter when he recalled the words. How would he think you were even capable of cheating when your whole world was him?

He couldn’t even fathom the possibility of ever laying a hand on you and it just made his body shake in anger the more he thought about it.

Although he didn’t really understand where this wave of anger came from, the moment his eyes landed on his phone he knew.

His phone was open on the coffee table in front of him, showing the text conversation between him and Price. His captain had just made him aware he was needed back at base in the next few days.

He never replied to it because instantly his mind was taken over with what he was going to do for you. The stress of trying to find a solution that would make you happy and keep you safe gave way to the thoughts of why you were hurting in the first place.

Then down the rabbit hole he went.

He stared long and hard at the message before he ultimately reached over and turned off his phone, leaving it there when he got up to go check on you.

You were still fast asleep when he reached his room and he took a moment to admire the scene in front of him. A scene he was sure he’d never have the pleasure of seeing everyday.

A scene of you wrapped up in his blankets, head resting on his pillows, on his bed. He couldn’t help the flutter he felt in his chest when he noticed you were also in one of his shirts.

His arms were crossed as he leaned against his door frame just taking you in when he noticed your phone buzzing and you rolled over to ignore it. He wasn’t trying to be nosy but he couldn’t help it when he caught a glimpse of your exes name from where he was.

Instantly he pushed himself off the doorframe and came closer. He stared down at your phone for a few seconds before declining the call and it was then he noticed the multiple missed calls and texts he had left you.

“Bloody Christ.” Johnny muttered to himself in distaste. How could the man not grab a hint?

“Johnny?” Immediately his attention was back on you. You, who turned to see who was bothering you while rubbing the sleep from your eyes. “Is everything okay?”

“Course Bonnie.” He soothed as he sat down on the edge of the bed next to you while his hand came up to run through your hair as you laid your head back down completely content. “Didn’t mean to wake you.”

“‘S fine.” You watched him, noticing the way he wouldn’t meet your gaze.

“I need to talk to you bout something.” He said softly while he moved his hand to hold one of yours. “Price called me in early, I have to go back to base.”

You shifted so you could see him better and he could see the worry starting to creep inside you. “You need me to leave?”

“What? No. No Bonnie, that's not what I’m gettin at.” He shook his head and held your hand tighter. “I want you..I want you to come with me.”

“Johnny-“

“There’s some apartments near the base that we can rent. You’ll have the space all to yourself for the most part when I’m away on missions, but this way I’ll be closer to you and I’ll come home to you every chance I get.” He could see the way your eyes widened at his words before his words even registered to him.

‘I’ll come home to you.’

Suddenly he was pulling himself away from you, “or if you want to stay here, you’re more than welcome to stay in my apartment but-“ you cut him off as you sat up quickly to grab his hand in yours again and it made him pause to take a breathe. “But if you stay here I can’t protect you like I want to. If you come with me, you’ll be far from him.”

He studied you, waiting for your reaction but all you did was play with his fingers. He felt like the silence was going to consume him until finally you met his gaze again.

“Okay.” You nodded, “when do we leave?”

The amount of relief that flooded his veins was unparalleled. He squeezed your hand again, “Few days.” And just like that you were getting up from the bed to go pack the little things you had taken with you.

~~

6 months.

6 months was all it took for you to uproot your life and move with Johnny closer to base.

6 months was all it took for you and him to settle into this new normal. You both agreed on just renting a one bedroom apartment considering he would be gone most of the time.

You had even Invested in one of those pull out couches so he could sleep on that whenever he would come home.

But you never put up a fight when he one day he would start coming home to you and crash into the same bed as you.

You never put up a fight when he’d unconsciously, (or consciously. You weren’t sure anymore) wrap an arm around you and pull you as close to him as he could before falling asleep.

6 months was all it took for you and Johnny to fall into a normal schedule. Even when he was gone for days or weeks at a time whenever he came home it was like nothing changed.

You’d have the apartment cleaned and have dinner ready for him. It all felt so normal for the both of you.

He’d always greet you with a smile and a kiss on the head or if he had an extra strenuous mission he’d hug you and hold you for what would feel like hours.

The first few times he’d come home after a long time away you were always worried there would be some awkward tension there, especially when you started putting more and more of your things out.

He never complained. He loved that you made the small space feel like home and he wouldn’t admit that he loved coming home to a place that made him feel like he was surrounded by you.

6 months was all it took for you to forget about your ex boyfriend.

It was such an easy thing to do when Johnny had now surrounded your every thought. Any which way you turned you were reminded of the fact that your best friend cared for you.

Any time he could sense you were starting to fall back into bad memories he’d be right next to you giving you a new happy memory to cloud the old one.

Anytime he knew he’d be away for longer than a few days he would use every chance he got to call you or text you, anything just to check on you and make sure you were okay.

You were sure you hadn’t thought of your ex way before 6 months because how could you? It was so easy to forget him when you had Johnny. Between the late night cuddles, the forehead kisses he had gotten so used to giving you and the more soft intimate moments of just being in his presence.

Moments like this, with his hand around your waist and the other grasping your hand softly while he swayed to some song he put on in the background.

All this happening because of a comment you made, during dinner, about never having danced with someone before. Something Johnny couldn’t let just go unnoticed.

Next thing you knew he was on his feet, hand extended to you. You laughed him off at first but he made a grab motion before he just ultimately grabbed your hand and yanked you up.

The both of you already danced through a few songs while you talked about things you would normally talk about during dinner but dinner was on the table long forgotten for this moment.

He told you all about his task force and about Ghost who he said he hoped you could meet one day along with Gaz and price.

“They already know all about ya.” He had said it so cheekily with a smug grin on his face that you couldn’t help but laugh.

“Talk about me a lot do you Johnny?”

He nodded immediately and tightened his hold, “everyday.” Your eyes widened at his response and you decided to leave it there while he swayed you through the next few songs.

He spun you around once before pulling you back into him and you smiled brightly at him before realizing how long you had been doing this.

“Johnny you don’t have to do this anymore, I think I got the hang of it after the first few songs.” You laughed at him softly, your cheeks turning a soft shade of pink when he looked down at you with a fond smile on his face.

“Course I do.” He grinned. “You been through enough recently, least I can do ‘s give you a night to remember.”

You shook your head in disbelief, your hand holding onto his tighter. “You’ve already been doing that since that night.” Your voice trailed off as you recalled when he had come to your rescue.

Johnny frowned when you wouldn’t meet his gaze and he moved the hand from your waist to grip your chin softly and have you look at him again. “And I’ll do it as long as I’m breathing.”

Your breathe caught in your throat when you saw the intense sincerity. “Johnny..”

“You know that don’t you?” His eyes searched yours, looking for something you weren’t sure what. “You know I’d do anythin for you?”

You nodded softly as you whispered a quiet, ‘I know.’ You moved the hand you had wrapped around his neck to cup his cheek, your thumb smoothing over his cheekbone.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breathe in. “What’re you thinking about?” You practically whispered and he opened his eyes again to look at you.

By now there was hardly any space left between the both of you and the hand he had holding your chin moved so he was also cupping your cheek. “Doesn't matter.”

“Matters to me. Please Johnny, what are you thinking about?” His eyes searched yours again before he seemed to find exactly what he was looking for and he moved forward slowly until his lips just barely brushed yours.

“How I don’t wan’ any o’ this to change.” He muttered against your lips. He loved the way he could see your gaze drop to his lips the second he did. “How I wan’ to have a life with you Bonnie.”

Your eyes met his again. “And how I really want ta kiss you.” You watched him swallow hard while he waited for your move.

“Then do it.” You whispered and it was all he needed to hear before he pulled you even closer and closed the gap.

His hand on your cheek moved up to tangle itself into your hair while the other moved down to your waist to pull you closer against him.

You couldn’t help the gasp of surprise by the intensity of his kiss, like he had been waiting to kiss you for as long as he could remember. Which he had.

When he kissed you it felt like everything was right with the world, like everything was as it should be now and you couldn’t help the way your hand moved to clutch onto his shirt for support.

He only pulled away when he felt your tremble against his hold and he was quickly scanning your face to make sure you were okay but you were already pulling him back down to you.

“I love you Johnny.” You muttered when you pulled away to breathe. The smile that broke out onto his face was a site you could get used to.

“Been waitin to hear those words for ages, lass.” Then he pulled you into a hug like he couldn’t believe this was actually happening. “I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember.”

You were smiling too as you ran your fingers through his hair while he hugged you.

6 months could feel like a lifetime when spent with the right person.

Because 6 months is all it took for you to come to terms with the fact that you were irrevocably in love with John Mactavish.

And you had been all along.

~~

The end

Also should I add more Ghosts characters to my scenarios? Like Logan and Hesh?

Also sorry if I disappear for a lil while again, gonna try and get more then one thing written before I start posting so then I can give u guys more content❤️

[squib-2006]

Dr pt2 spoiler warning

This was a fantastic set of episodes

• Kai and wyldfire are everything. Kai having to deal with someone who acts like he did in the earlier seasons is poetic justice and funny as hell.

• I also like how they kinda tried to explain why Kai seemed calm after sea bound and nyas seaifcation. I guess Kai meditating with wu would make him calmer. At least it confirms that Kai was upset (even if they didn’t show it)

•I am kinda upset that nothing from skybound was brought up with the Djinn. I personally don’t really like skybound but I still find that it could be used more than just oh yah that happened right wink wink. I mean we had to suffer through skybound for something right?

• I actually really liked sora and nyas whole plot with the Djinns curse. It was fun and had a nice conclusion.

• Coles return is great I love his little gang in the land of forgotten things. My favorite has to be the skeleton girl (I forgot her name probably cuz they only say it like 2 times) she’s funny.

• I do wish there was a scene where nyas like btw I found Cole and the other ninja react. I mean she does mention it at the end but no one except Zane has any real reaction.

• Beatrix going off the rails was really funny. It felt like someone gave a teen with daddy issues an insta death weapon.

• rapton switching sides kinda came out of left field for me. Like the guy isn’t the brightest bulb in the box I think it would be more likely for other characters to switch sides. Also how did he recover from being tased so quickly? Man was out cold and not two minutes later he was up and walking around.

• kinda felt that the whole being sucked into non existence should have had more lasting effects (totally not because I want to traumatize or brutally injure Kai no why would I want that /s) tho fake out deaths are pretty par for the course with ninjago, this one actually didn’t make me feel all that much cuz I knew the moment wyldfire got pulled in that this was a fake out. They wouldn’t kill one of there new characters that quickly.

•so wus just legitimately fudging dead. Never thought we would see the day when this old mad would just peace out. Also ghost wu legit looks like he’s slowly loosing his form or something cuz in the first half he appears with his full body but in the last scene he’s in he’s just a chest and a head. It might have just been a stylistic thing tho.

•I’m not mad jay only showed up for around 30 seconds (this just might be my bias tho cuz jays probably the ninja I care the least about, not that I hate him or anything he’s just not that interesting to me) it’s kinda refreshing for me cuz nya gets to be her own character for a bit and not be completely attached to Jay and Jay gets to take up less screen time (if I am being honest Jay had so much focus in the wild brain seasons it kinda got annoying to me personally) idk if he’s actually lost his memories or if that leak is wrong cuz it would make sense cuz he has not searched for the ninja (specifically nya cuz that man is a simp for his gf) Arin missing him by a second is hilarious to me.

•not sure about how I feel about Lloyd being the linchpin for the entire thing. Part of me thinks that it would have fit the shows themes better if all of them used their elemental powers or something else to power the cores to fix everything. But another part of me understands that Lloyd get main character privileges cuz he’s the son of ninjago god.

•still kinda frustrated that they are changing how elemental powers work. Originally they were from the first spinjitzu master, but the whole source dragon being the source (for lack of a better word) of the elemental powers, it completely retcons and nerfs the first spinjitzu master. It would have made more sense if they still came from the powers of the fsm and were gifted through the source dragons to people.

•the implication of the cursed realm merging with the rest of the realms brings up the question if the departed realm merged to? Does that mean no one can die??? Or is there some sort of force that still keeps the departed realm separated from the rest (like how the people in the land of the forgotten can’t leave) or can some dude just wander in to the departed realm and see like there dead grandma chilling with the fsm having tea or some crap like that.

•Lloyd going I forgot there are two of them now towards Kai and wyldfires antics is peak writing. And all the arson and explosions the two created is just beautiful.

•I think the Kai and wyldfire duo should be called like the arsonist or the kaboom duo

•THE HUGGG!!!! My boi was so happy looking when the tackle hug was done.

•I just cant get my brain to shut up about these two. They give off tired dad who sometimes gives in to his old chaotic ways he’s sworn he’s grown out of and living embodiment of chaos and fun daughter who drags her dad into crazy things.

Tdlr I loved this second half and had a few issues with it but it was still really good.

[youremyheaven]

What are your thoughts on men with prominent Venus nakhatras? Ngl, I feel from personal experience that Purva Phalguni men have an inclination to be more promiscuous compared to other nakshatras 😂 Do you feel Bharani and Uttara Phalguni are similar as well?

my FAV question 😍bc I'm a Venusian men connoisseur, enthusiast and expert 😤🤭

God has given me the exquisite privilege of having known many Venusian men and women and let me tell y'all 😍I love them😍 this is gonna be a bit of a storytime as well so buckle up.

Fair warning, these experiences are a bit of a mixed bag 🤧😤

1. Purvaphalguni Moon guy, super duper sweet, would bring me chocolates, drop me home in his car whenever I asked?? just all around super considerate?? he always did that tall guy thing where they bend forward a little bit to hear you better and idk it always made my heart skip a beat 😌he once saw me argue with a guy and he intervened and then also told me to let him know if this other guy ever gave me trouble (im really into this kind of performative masculinity 😌) he always defended me in front of others?? and always took my side and made me feel comfortable. he asked me out one night and confessed that he had a thing for me for 5 years (i been knowing but I played it cool 😎) but then got all pervy and said he wished I was in bed next to him??? 🤮🤮🤮Imagine waiting 5 years to confess and then u fkn ruin it like that ??? Gave me the ICK big time. I stopped talking to him, 6 months later, he texts me again and says he misses me and wants to ask me out again and I was seeing my ex at that point so I told him I'm seeing someone else and he said ?? it doesn't matter ??? 😭😭 and that he's never ever felt this way ever before and that he wanted me to think this over ??? (I never texted him after that)

2. Purvaphalguni Moon man in his 30s- I worked with him a few years ago. He was super shy and kind of awkward but extremely intelligent and good at what he did. He was married and had a kid. He always gave me mixed signals?? one day I was working with him and it was just us and he said that he's been intrigued by me since the first day and that he usually never initiates conversation with anyone but really wants to talk to me (he seemed genuine and he legit did not speak to anybody there and he had a very warm gentlemanly demeanor so none of this sounded creepy to me) and he told me that I seem very different from everybody else and I was like 😏😏but then he said "you seem to carry a heavy emotional burden" and I was like 😳😳how u know that and I said (we were talking in our mother tongue and I said this using very formal language??) "I don't deny that" and he responded (in similarly formal language) "Even if you do, I won't believe you" and trust me y'all my heart was 😭😭😭he always helped me?? always did little things to make things easier for me?? even when we weren't directly working together, i could always tell he was watching me?? He always indulged me?? I remember how I'd do something stupid and look at him with a 🥺🥹poor me kind of expression and his face would soften and he'd help me out in a very warm genuinely sweet way?? the first guy I mentioned was also like that, the eyes chico, they never lie

3. My ex had Venus atmakaraka so I'm gonna include him 🤪

Y'all the man was obsessed with me. He'd come all the way over to my house, just to see me stand on my balcony 😭 he came all the way over to my house to give me a love letter he wrote for me?? He knew I loved dark chocolate so one day out of the blue, he bought me a big bar for no reason?? along with a book because he knows I love to read 😭😭he loved giving head 🤪i associate being a giver with Venusian men ngl and he always told me he was so fond of it. He always video called me bc he missed seeing me and whenever we went even a little while without talking on call, he'd call me and then say "God I missed your voice, please keep talking, I just want to hear you" 😭😭😭and he'd buy me little gifts 🥺 and we'd do this thing where he kissed me all over my face, even on video?? like I'd point to my forehead and he'd kiss that, then cheek, other cheek until my whole face was covered. I have a lot of moles all over me and he remembered them all and he'd give kisses to them as well 😭😭😭he always told me how pretty I looked and whenever I got shy, he'd do these cute hand gestures that you'd do to coo a baby?? and he'd say "awwww ur sooo cuteee when ur shy" and give me kisses 🥺and he always told me how he wants to see me make art etc and he'd call me after every therapy session to know how it went 🥺🥺 a million things were wrong with our relationship but all the goodness i associate with Venus tbh 😍

4. my Purvashada Moon male friend

he was in a relationship when i was friends with him but again, he was sooooo fond of me 🥺I was chilling with his gf once and he ran up to us with a DSLR and took pics of me and not her?? (I always felt like he didn't enjoy being with her but this moment really cemented that) he always included me in everything and he loved it when I'd make my jokes or tease him or whatever,, I'm the type of person who loves to be taken care of and he was the kind of guy who loved taking care of people,, he was always gentlemanly and sweet and would compliment me randomly?? again, he's never been a creep to me but I always felt awkward about how he seemed to treat me better than he treated his gf (he ended up cheating on her and breaking up with her so 😬😬)

5. Bharani Moon failed talking stage

He was super duper sweet. Extremely gentlemanly and considerate. One thing I've noticed is that all these Venusian men have complimented my voice/said they love to listen to me talk. I used to sing this man to sleep ya'll 🥹and he always said I put him in a trance?? lol? One time I told him that I'm such a boomer and I only know how to use my phone to text and make calls and he said "that's all you need to know cause if you need anything else, you have me" (for context: he was a software engineer) he helped me set up my LinkedIn??? one day we were on call and he asked me "oh the xyz internship you mentioned, can you tell me more about it?" and i thought it was a general question and i started yapping and he did that with my other internships and finally he said, "okay check your WhatsApp" and he had sent me a summarised bullet point list of everything??? and he said "okay now just copy paste this to LinkedIn" and i was so shook?? lol, he stayed on call with me until I was done, i asked him a million dumb questions and he was patient af and literally held my hand through the whole process (setting up a profile is really not that hard at all, it's just filling up a bunch of stuff and he was helping me out with that) after things ended between us, we spoke one more time and he said "I made xyz dish" (a dish that I had told him was my fav and which he didn't know how to make and promised me he would learn) and i was like "why?" and he said "because I was thinking of you and promised you I'd learn to make it" 😩😩😩😩i s2g these Venusian men really know how to get into ur heart bc wtf

6. Bharani Moon, the guy who I think might be my twin flame

First of all, UFFFFF he was obsessed with me. For over a year, he'd just follow me around like a lamb and stare. Even after he asked me out and I said I wasn't interested, he still didn't give up??? he seemed so obsessed with me , it was crazyy, he told me he just wanted to see me and talk to me (I don't know his personality at all but getting those texts kinda creeped me out but maybe he was as genuine as all the other guys?? 😶 Idk) he was always so intense?? like he never shied away from expressing his interest in me, i never expected him to be so forthcoming lol. he came all the way to my uni for no reason than to see me not once but TWICE 🥺🥺wish i could've interacted with him offline to gauge his personality bc based on how he was on text and call, I was put off by his intensity

edit:

7. bc i remembered another guy who was a Purvaphalguni Sun, Purvashada Moon

he was super sweet to me, he always wanted to talk to me, we'd spend hours talking and he always complimented me, he always asked me if he could bring me snacks??? and he lived like half an hour away and he always said "yk you just have to call and ill be at your door" whenever i spoke about wanting to travel, he'd always say "i'll take you" (i had known of him for a long time but we'd only been talking for a few days so i thought it was too much and kinda gave me the ick???) and he was always just doing THE most and then he got super pervy which made me uncomfortable. i told him off for it and he said sorry and then literally in the next conversation when i asked him "what are three things you'd want to do before you die?", he said 2 things and then said "you" and i was like 🙄🙄and he said "dont hold it against me, im a dying man" ICKKKK anyways we stopped talking lol

im actually only now realising that ive had less than positive experiences with Venusian women lol lmk if you want me to talk about that tho 😶

[starrrlights]

A winter wonderland

Mile morales x reader

A/n : This is based during winter. Maybe around Christmas? Idk. Sorry I haven't been posting... I got really burnt out and had writers block. I don't live in/anywhere near Brooklyn, so if this doesn't seem like it is placed in Brooklynn, please just imagine a large city then. I didn't do any research for this so... yeah

I used "____" for your name, so I hope thats okay

And in the story, you don't know Miles is Spiderman, but there are a few parts in the beginning of the story that kinda implied that he was being Spiderman ig?

I hope you like it 🤭😋

You rubbed your hands together as you waited for miles to meet you at the bus stop. You two were supposed to hang out for a while and walk around, looking at everything there was to look at in Brooklyn.

It was currently snowing. Not hard enough to where you were too cold, but just enough to where you wish you had brought warmer mittens. The ones you had on definitely weren't made to keep you warm enough in this weather.

You stood by a street lamp that was by a bus stop sign. You looked around for the 10th time to try to find a familiar boyish face. But you couldn't find him yet.

You tugged your coat closer to you, salvaging any warmth you had standing to the snow. People walked past you but the only thing you could hear over the footsteps crunching the soft snow that fell to the ground was someone shouting your name.

"____!"

Miles.

You turned to the direction that he was shouting in, and you saw him jogging over. He seemed put of breath and a little out of place.

'Did he run all the way here or something?' You thought to yourself. Miles tugged his hoodie up a little as he got over to you.

"____! Hey." He took a few deep breaths before continuing. "I'm sorry I'm late." He then gave you the boyish smile that you loved so much.

"It's fine miles. You're fine". You smiled widely as you reassured him. You and Miles had been dating for about a year now, and you could only feel your love for him grow stronger. Butterflies still invaded your stomach whenever he was around, and you could feel you face heat up every time he smiled.

Miles nodded as you reassured him and gently took your hand into his, giving it a small squeeze.

"Ready to go?"

You nodded, feeling your face flush from the small physical contact. You both started walking to the streets of Brooklyn, passing by parked cars and lit up street lights that highlighted falling snow as it fell from the sky. The sidewalks weren't as crowded as the weather grew colder and snow fell. You felt your hand that was in miles' hand become warm from the shared warmth.

You and Miles had talked about whatever that came to mind. Recent tests at school and what was happening at home. Miles had then brought up about why he had run late. Apparently, some destruction was happening by his apartment because of a villain, and Spiderman took a little while as he fought the villain.

You nodded in understandment, believing him. "Okay. I'm just glad you're safe, miles."

You gave miles a soft smile as you looked into his eyes, something you could never get tired of.

You both continued to talk about what had been happening in your lives until you had reached a small park. There was a small playground that contained swings, a slide, and a few other things. Snow covered everything that was available. Covering a once green park in the summer to a soft white park in the winter.

You and Miles wiped snow off of the swings and sat on the seats. It was a bit cold and slightly wet from melting snow, but that didn't bother you both much. Snow continued to fall onto you and miles. Covering your hair in small snow flakes and your coat. You and Miles continue to talk about anything and nothing. You then gave miles a good look at how he looked at that moment.

Soft snow covered his curls and clothing that he was wearing. His soft brown eyes that seemed to carry a loving gaze as he looked at you made your heart skip a couple beats. His boyish smile and charm made you forget anything bad that had happened recently to you and made you only think of one thing. Miles.

your heart swelled at every thought of him. You couldnt deny that you thought he was pretty. A soft smile creeped onto your lips as Miles continued to talk. The moment couldn't be any more relaxing than it already was.

The sounds of the wind and cars driving soon consumed your ears. You both stopped talking and sat in a comfortable silence as you watched the snow fall. The silence wasn't uncomfortable or awkward, but it was peaceful. It was something you needed after a long day.

You then turned your gaze from the grey sky over to your boyfriend. Which who was already looking over at you.

You felt your face heat up from the unexpected eye contact, and you quickly looked away. Saving yourself from feeling more embarrassed.

While you were looking away, Miles was having a similar response. Since he was caught staring at you, he couldn't help but also feel his cheeks heat up in embarrassment. He darted his gaze to the ground, not wanting to make you uncomfortable.

After a moment of awkward silence, you silently decided to look Miles again, who was now looking at the ground and fiddling with his coats' pocket. Even when he was awkward and shy, you still thought he was pretty.

You carefully move your foot over to Miles and nudge his foot. It didn't seem to startle him, but he did look back it you and smiled. He then nudged his foot against your foot, and you smiled.

The moment seemed to last for a long time. You didn't even notice that Miles had his hand out to you, wanting to hold your hand again.

"Do you want to start heading out? It's getting late."

You nodded your head as to answer his question. "Sure, let go."

He nodded as well as you took his hand and stood up from the swing set. The snow had slowed down, and the soft sounds of your guy's shoes stepping on the snow was the only thing that you heard as you walked hand and hand back to your apartment.

Everything now was beautifully covered in snow. Making it look like a true winter wonderland in your opinion. You both again passed parked cars and lit up street lamps, the highlighted falling snow. But it was all quieter now. Even with cars and people going past the two of you.

You walk down your street and find your apartment easily. You stop and you thank Miles for the time you both had.

"Thank you."

You smiled at Miles and leaned in to kiss his cheek, which was cold from being outside for so long. You felt your heart flutter from your own gesture and you wouldn't doubt Miles felt the same.

"Yeah.. no problem. I'll see you soon?"

He asked, you nodded and gave his hand one last squeeze.

"I'll see you soon."

You gave miles one last kiss before turing to your building's door and going in. Leaving Miles outside with a smile on his face, looking like he had just seen the most mesmerizing person ever.

"...god i love you."

[kookieswan]

Red Light - Tea and Crumpets

Nightmare!Hoseok x Psychologist!Reader

Word Count: 2.2k

Genre: Horror AU, Monster AU, Psychological horror, kind of angsty? A little fluff? Idk?

Warnings: Jimin. Talk of biting off appendages, blood, bad language, all the good stuff. It should be noted that this story will contain themes of horror/psychological horror and also explore obsessive behaviors and codependency. Many characters are morally gray. Please be warned!

Summary: Gearing up for your second session with Jimin, things seem to be going surprisingly well until a surprise visitor arrives.

Notes: WOOOOO more Jimin finally (and another character teehee). This takes place a few days after Dripping Clouds!

This Part 28 of the Red Light series. Find the Masterlist here ♥️

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“Jimin, it’s good to see you again. I’ve been informed that there’s been a number of happenings since we last met?” Walking into the room, you plop down with as much elegance as you can muster into the chair that sits in front of Jimin’s cell. He’s curled around himself, eyes in slits as he pokes his tongue out to wet his lips.

“Nothing you need to worry yourself with Doctor. Just a few minor inconveniences that came about. Blame those bastards if you’d like.” Jutting his chin out, you turn in the chair to see two guards peering in. Raising a brow, you gesture for them to shut it without a word, glare intensifying when they don’t make much of a move

There’s a sudden violent slam, causing you to flinch as the guards finally getting into gear. Turning back towards the reptilian Nightmare, you see that his tail has stretched out, now smooshed up against the wall. Well… At least they’re gone. Giving Jimin a small smile, you dig into things as carefully as you can, pulling out the incident report folder Williams not so gently shoved into your hands.

“Let’s see here… You bit someone’s finger off, managed to break some of the most expensive equipment that’s kept down here, called Dr. Williams a ‘piss baby’…?” It takes everything in you not to lose your mind, your lips making an odd shape as you cough to hide the laugh. You really wish you could have been there to hear it.

“All very fucking warranted considering the situation I think. But hey, what do I know? I’m just a man kept in a cage.” Sighing a sympathetic sigh, you adjust your papers and pen, knowing that he’s right. They’re all right honestly; being kept against their will is a horrid thing. They’re not humans, but they’re sentient. They’re people, and they deserve better.

“Although I cannot personally connect to it, I understand where your anger is coming from Jimin. I’ve been sent in today mostly to reprimand you, but that’s not what I’d like to focus on. If you cooperate, that would make both of our lives a lot easier.” You think he gets that though; he’s already been a lot more docile than he’s been in the past. Jimin shrugs his shoulders with a sigh, inching forward a bit until he’s relatively close to the wall. You write down that you gave him a thorough talking to even though you certainly did not.

It’s quiet as you jot down some more quick notes, a moment of time you take to look the Nightmare over again passively. He’s definitely the least human looking in appearance with his tail, not even wearing a top, just going completely bare. You wonder if it’s odd to think that his scales look almost pretty in the light.

“Well? Ask whatever you want to ask Doctor. I’ll answer the best I can.” This makes your raise a brow. Not only is he being relatively docile but he’s also letting you do what you wish. A curious thing, but it leads you to believe even more now that your initial meeting was more of a front. That, or he was just extremely pissed off.

Jimin raises his hands up, tongue poking out yet again to wet his lips…? Or perhaps to smell the air. Twirling you pen, you wait for him to reply. He smirks a little as he speaks, though there’s a bit of caution on his voice.

“Don’t look so shocked. I’ve heard some things along with what you’ve personally told me. I don’t want to be on your bad side, and it’s not like I can leave.” So maybe he knows of your relationship with Hoseok? As far at you know though, he’s had every little interaction with any of the other Nightmares. You hum a little, tugging on your skirt as you ponder his words.

“I already know why you’re causing an uproar; it’s because you’re angry. Angry that you were stolen away from your life and locked in a cage. So, instead of exploring that, I’d like to look into your background.” It’s something you haven’t asked the others yet, but you wish to ask them all. Starting out with Jimin might be the best way to tackle that he stares for a minute before giving in, a bit of a hiss in his words.

“There’s not much to say. I was a wanderer, never really settled down anywhere after my life began. I had no ties I guess is what I’m saying… So plucking me up out of a back alley in New York was easy for those fucks.” New York? Quite a large city, an odd place to be if he were to look like he does now. It’s likely he took on a more natural form, but then again…

“I killed from time to time, never caused a fucking massacre though. I still have no idea how they found me out; I blended in pretty damn well when I wanted to.” You don’t know how they found out either. You don’t know how they go about capturing Nightmares, but they’ve got to have some sly way because they’ve managed to capture the others and they’re certainly not dumb. Deciding against leaving a paper trail, you store away the information.

“So you chose to try to integrate yourself into the human population? For at least some of the time?” He had to of blended in somehow. Nightmares can take on grotesque forms but many chose to blend in to get closer to their prey. Jimin tilts his head back, looking toward the ceiling.

“Yeah. I liked to go out, liked to party and have fun. I liked to get high, liked to find a good fuck. I liked it all, and now it’s been taken away from me so I can be ‘researched’ and tested on.” So he was just living his life like any other young person. It makes you frown; Jimin is the newest patient here, sure, but you also think he’s the youngest out of the group. Perhaps you’re wrong but he can’t have many years on him, not with this mindset.

“… Have they hurt you at all?” Jimin looks far away at first before focusing back in. He slowly shakes his head, and a sigh of relief leaves you. If any of your Nightmares get taken down there, it’ll be the day you turn into a Nightmare.

“No. Even if I’ve been having some issues, I’ve been trying to be a good egg. Sometimes there’s yelling from the guards but that’s about it. They don’t like when I spit in their faces.” You’d imagine not since his spit seems to be acidic. There wasn’t a mention of him burning anyone’s face off in the report though thankfully.

“You don’t mind having a room to yourself? From what you’ve said, I would guess you like company. I don’t want for you to feel completely isolated or lonely.” At this Jimin scoffs, tail whipping out behind him. He can scoff all he wants but something tells you that he craves more, that he really craved attention… Perhaps that’s why he acts out. Down here though, it’s not going to get the best response.

“I like the company of my choosing. I’m not sure the other Nightmares and I would get along. I can be a little brash as I’m sure you’ve noticed.” You’ve already made a mental note to keep him and Yoongi separated. The other three would likely be alright with him, but his anger mixed with Yoongi’s ruthlessness… No thank you.

Before you can continue on, there’s a knock on the door. Turning, you see none other than Taehyung Kim popping his head through the entrance, bright boxy smile on his face as he spots you. You can hear… a sob..? From outside the door before Dr. Kim slams it shut behind him.

“I hope you don’t mind Dr. _____, I wanted to sit in and observe one of your sessions. Well, that’s a lie. Williams wanted to but I told him to bugger off in much nicer words.” You don’t doubt he did. If there’s anything you’ve learned about his man, it’s that he doesn’t care about consequences. Mostly because you don’t think he faces any. Gesturing for him to come in further, you shake your head.

“Not at all Dr. Kim. I’m sure Jimin doesn’t mind either?” Glancing at the Nightmare, he’s not even looking at you. His eyes are trained on the other doctor, slowly looking up and down as if sizing him up. Interesting.

“As long as you don’t try to cut my fucking tail off or something, you can stay. Too many of those other douche fucks like to get handsy.” Taehyung shakes his head, thankfully not interested in cutting any tails off. Looking down at your mostly blank notes, you decide to change things up for now. The past is something that can be revisited another day when Dr. Kim isn’t present.

“Now, is there anything you’d like to talk about specifically? Anything troubling you?” You’re curious to see what happens if you give him complete free reign of the situation. Especially now that you have an audience, and an apparently relatively powerful one at that. Jimin looks back toward you finally, eyes narrowed.

“You’re the only psychologist down here? There aren’t any others?” You’re sure there are others, just none that you’ve met. You’ve only had the terrible displeasure of meeting all the other doctors and scientists on this floor.

“I’m the only one on this floor specifically. I don’t see to any other Nightmares, only the ones on level 13.” You don’t see it but you’re not sure if you could handle more. Five seems to be the magic number, one for every day of the week to focus on. Jimin just nods, eyes sliding back to where Dr. Kim stands next to you.

“What about you?” The man adjusts his glasses before walking closer to the clear wall. So close that they’re face to face, Jimin staring in what almost looks like disbelief. You still don’t know exactly what Taehyung’s position is down here but it’s obvious that he’s very comfortable with Nightmares.

“I see to all the floors technically, though I usually stay in the deeper levels but I became bored. As I’m sure you can guess, I’m not from here originally, but I craved change. So here I am.” Bored… It’s not that shocking. If you were to guess based on what little you’ve analyzed, Dr. Kim isn’t used to being told no. Instead, he used to free reign and being able to do what he wishes without question. Jimin snorts loudly, hand slamming up against the wall, clawed fingers scratching the material.

“That’s why you came here from tea and crumpet land? Wanted a change in scenery? Wanted to rule over this shitshow?” Well, they seem to be making fast friends. Jimin’s mood is quickly turning sour, and you know the rest of this session will be going no where but south. Oh well, you got to know a little bit more about him at least.

“Tea and crumpet land hasn’t been home in a while. Let’s say I’m up here for number of reasons; a new doctor and a new patient being a few of them. Color me surprised when I heard we got ourselves a competent psychologist and a pretty pet snake.” Avoiding the question is one way to go about things. You can’t help but to wonder too, most of the other Doctors seem to be from the states although you know there’s other facilities scattered. Jimin hisses loudly, face nearly smashed up against the wall as he spits his words out.

“I don’t think pet snakes usually have terribly homicidal thoughts about their owners.” Dr. Kim hums, raising his hand up to meet Jimin’s. The Nightmare stares back in a mixture of anger and confusion, quickly ripping his hand away and backing up from the wall.

“But apparently small little Nightmares do… I’ve decided that I like you very much. Try not to misbehave Jimin, I don’t want to be seeing you on the deeper floors.” With that, the doctor turns around and looks your way. You stare back at him, not really sure of what to make of the interaction. It was odd… And also revealed a lot about both men.

“Dr. _____, when you’re done I’d like to have a word with you. Nothing extreme, just a few things I’d like to discuss. Pip pip cheerio for now.” An overwhelming urge to laugh is back, this one a single strangled giggle as Taehyung exits the room. Looking back to Jimin, it’s apparent he won’t be giving you any more information today.

“Well… if there’s nothing else, then I’ll-“ The snake man cuts you off, voice not nearly as angry as you though it would be. On the contrary, he sounds almost… Delighted? Happy?

“I want him at our next session.” And then it clicks. He craves attention even if it’s not positive. Maybe Taehyung’s attention wasn’t positive but it’s got to have been better from what he’s been getting. Giving him a nod, you can only begin to imagine the bargaining you might have to go through with the eccentric doctor. The things you do for your patients…

“Consider it done.”

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Tags: @parkdatjimin @sugarflywme @pamzn @mizz-kraziii @hiii-priestess @winkii @noonas-magicshop @xuxibelle @lookhere-2seok @m1sss1mp @jukoo @thickemadame

(If you’d like to be tagged, send an ask/comment. All I ask is that your age (18+) is somewhere on your blog! 🌸)

[sorryimananti-romantic]

One Day At A Time

seonghwa x reader, yunho x reader

royal?au plus seonghwa and yunho are soldiers so idk what to call this lol

genre and warnings: fluff, angst, suggestive, mention of death and violence, trauma

word count: 18.5k

synopsis: loving seonghwa was like loving the moon. loving yunho was like loving the sun. the story of how you fell in love with seonghwa, one of the king's trusted agent, married him, had a daughter and then lost him forever- and how you fell in love with yunho- also the king's trusted agent, seonghwa's best friend, a loving father to your daughter, and a husband who gave you enough space to grieve seonghwa, and enough time to make you fall in love with him.

You were used to looking out of your window on a whim, as if you would see your husband walking back in his uniform any second now. Of course, that would be a rare coincidence- if you did look up and see him actually walking home. As the wife of a soldier, you were used to feeling disappointed when you would see the empty road that led to your house.

You were also used to the feeling of your heart sinking whenever someone else in uniform stopped by. You couldn’t help the feeling- as someone whose husband was one of the eight trusted agents of the King, you had to be prepared for the worst- even though you knew nothing could ever prepare you for the bad news that was bound to come one day.

But you still weren’t used to opening the door to the man who wore the same uniform as your husband, bore the same titles- both at work and at home.

“Yunho,” you breathed, your heart twisting painfully but you managed to put a smile- the least you could do to return his bright smile. “Come in, it’s cold outside.”

Yunho patted your back- a gesture that had taken you months to get used to. “How have you been?”

“I’ve been well, I was just out collecting berries today,” you said to distract him from scanning you- a habit of his. “You want some?”

Yunho glanced at the small basket that held fresh cherries and he popped one in his mouth, nodding. “Where’s Byeol?”

As if on cue, Byeol, your three years old daughter came rushing in with her usual shout of ‘dad!’, jumping into Yunho’s arms who swung her around and kissed her cheek before hugging her tightly.

You still weren’t used to your daughter calling someone else her father. Every time you saw Yunho and Byeol interacting with each other as if they really were father and daughter, you wanted to go in a corner and cry your heart out. It wasn’t that you weren’t grateful to the love Yunho gave Byeol- he really lived up to being Byeol’s father, he always made sure of that- but it was only that you wished Byeol’s real father had gotten more time with her.

Seonghwa. Byeol’s father. Your first and only love. Now he really was a star, up in the sky, far away from your reach, just like his name. 

You broke out of your trance when Yunho looked at you, mumbled something about how you were going to set the table and almost rushed to the kitchen. You took out the hot pot from the oven- a dish you had learned from Seonghwa’s mother-  just in time to save it from burning. Setting the plates, you took a few deep breaths, pushing the thoughts of Seonghwa out of your mind- for now. 

You could never push him out for long. Something always reminded you of him. Byeol was a living reminder of him too- with eyes just like Seonghwa that made you wonder if he saw the world differently. His eyes just had a different sparkle to them, something you hadn’t seen in someone else’s eyes. 

Even Yunho reminded you of Seonghwa at times- especially with his subconscious gestures like patting your back, wiping your mouth if you got something on it, rubbing your hands when it was cold, or just… 

Looking at you like he was now. As if he was trying to read you. You could never meet his gaze when he did that. You used to shy away from Seonghwa when he did that as well. You finally looked up and raised your brows, pointing at his plate where you had put a big chunk of the pasta. Yunho exhaled, pouring himself water and taking a few gulps. 

“Is everything alright at work?” You managed to ask. You weren’t allowed to ask much, and asking wouldn’t get you answers anyway- Yunho wasn’t allowed to say much about work. You knew that from Seonghwa too- you always teased him and pushed him into telling you something, but he would always laugh and shut you up with either a glare (rarely) or a kiss-

“Yep,” he answered, just like Seonghwa would, with a sideways glance that said he definitely was hiding something. Before you could say anything, Byeol pushed her dark hair back and looked at Yunho.

“I made a gift for you, all by myself!”

Yunho smiled warmly, turning away from the food and shifting all of his attention to Byeol. “Really? What did you make?”

“Do you wanna see?” Byeol’s face lit up and Yunho nodded, laughing when she rushed off and you called after her to at least finish her food before running around. You avoided looking at Yunho, playing with your food instead of eating it. Yunho noticed that. 

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I just don’t have an appetite,” you sighed, resuming eating slowly so he wouldn’t ask you to finish your food. Yunho nodded, resuming eating as well until Byeol came back and handed Yunho a drawing she had made.

“This is me,” she pointed at a little girl she had drawn, all colourful. “This is you, and this is mommy!”

“I see I am in my uniform,” Yunho laughed, ruffling Byeol’s hair, “When did you get so good at drawing? Is my little girl all grown up now?”

“I have always been good!” Byeol pouted.

“But why is mommy not smiling here?” Yunho asked and you stopped eating as you peeked at the drawing. Indeed, the drawing, even though only better than stick figures, you could clearly see the big smiles Byeol had drawn on herself and Yunho.

“I don’t remember how she laughs,” Byeol said, “so I gave her a little smile! She always looks pretty when she smiles!”

You went back to memory lane- a brief moment you recalled when Seonghwa had first told you how pretty you looked when you smiled as he handed you a bouquet of red roses- the first thing he’d ever gotten for you.

“She does,” Yunho smiled at Byeol and glanced at you. You really couldn’t take that look in his eyes- the look that said he was being cautious but also taking a step towards you.

You always pushed him back.

You finished eating the last bite and got up, walked to the sink and dumped your plate, telling the two to call you from outside when they finish eating, leaving Yunho’s eyes following you until you disappeared outside the door into the chilly air of winter. You took a few deep breaths, your breath materialising in the air. You were sure Yunho was disappointed once again, as you had disappointed him so many times in the almost two full years of your marriage with him. 

You knew Yunho did not deserve any of this. He had been nothing but a loving father to your daughter, and had tried his best to be a loving husband to you- as far as you’d allow him to go, which wasn’t much. In fact, there wasn’t much ‘love’ in the marriage at all. You two hadn’t even kissed- you refused to count the time you had pecked his lips when you had been in a rather emotional mess. You had asked him to forget about it and he had lived up to the promise, never bringing that moment up again.

Yunho was more of a companion- a friend, if you must. He didn’t come home for long- only on some weekends, and he spent most of that time with Byeol, since you always made sure you were busy doing something when he was here. You were indebted to him though. He was providing you two with a home, with protection from Seonghwa’s enemies who had also taken his life and had threatened to harm his family. In these times, especially with the growing threat on Kingdom of Wonderland, single mothers couldn’t do well on their own, usually taken and sold off to another nation by the enemies that had infiltrated Wonderland in the past decade. The little children met a worse fate. 

One reason or another, your and Yunho’s mutual friends, especially Seonghwa’s mother, insisted you marry Yunho. Apparently, he hadn’t really objected, the reason why, you still couldn’t ask him. Perhaps out of love for his comrade and closest partner at work, perhaps because Seonghwa had died while carrying out an operation with Yunho and had taken his last breaths in Yunho’s arms. Maybe Yunho felt guilty about Seonghwa’s death, wondering if he could have prevented it. Maybe, out of guilt, he offered to be a father to Byeol and a husband to you.

You were still thinking about Seonghwa when you felt a jacket being draped on your shoulders- you hadn’t even heard Yunho approach. He gave you a tight-lipped smile as he stood next to you, and you looked at the jacket- the same as Seonghwa’s- then up at him, so tall as he looked ahead at the stretching farm.

“I won’t be home next week, but I expect to return the week after,” he said, “We have to carry out an operation in the neighbouring nation- code red.”

You gulped- Seonghwa had been in a code red operation when he passed away as well. The most dangerous operations were code red. Plus, Yunho didn’t mention which ‘neighbouring’ nation exactly was he going to- there were 3. “Is the whole team going?”

“Yes,” Yunho nodded, “It’s going to be one week there- we move out in three days.” He glanced down at you, his eyes softening when he saw the worry on your face. It gave him a sense of comfort- that you cared, even if it was just a little. “Don’t worry. We will be… fine.”

“I hope so,” you almost whispered, and Yunho knew then that perhaps it was a night like this when Seonghwa had told you he wasn’t going to be home for a while, only to never return. It wasn’t that code red operations meant casualties- sometimes it only meant trespassing the border and meeting up with the spies for an exchange of information. Sometimes it meant engaging in a fight. No one was allowed to share the details with outsiders, so Yunho couldn’t really assure you that it wasn’t going to be dangerous- even exchanging information could go very wrong.

“It’s… going to be okay,” Yunho said and cringed, wishing he hadn’t said that. You didn’t respond, and he continued. “I need to go to the town tomorrow- do you want to tag along? We could get something for you and Byeol and maybe have dinner?”

“I don’t really need anything, but yeah… Byeol has grown taller so we need more clothes,” you hugged yourself. “Should I not cook dinner tomorrow then?”

“Let’s go have a fancy dinner,” Yunho said with a grin, “I’m going to miss that the next few days.”

You smiled- Yunho always managed to earn a smile when he joked around. You wished you could relax more around him, but somehow whenever you were alone with him, you started feeling vulnerable. You did not want to feel that- not for now.

“Sounds good,” you finally said. “How’s Hongjoong?”

“Finally getting used to how loud Wooyoung and San are,” Yunho laughed, “He’s not used to dealing with kids.”

You stifled a laugh- you knew all of Seonghwa’s friends to some extent, and were very well aware of just how loud San and Wooyoung could be. Even Seonghwa, the oldest of his team, would turn into a loud kid whenever they were over. “You should bring them over some time. It’s been too long.”

Yunho raised a brow- that was new. “I should, huh? Maybe next month?”

“Yeah, I’m fine with that,” you nodded. “It’s time I see the team without Seonghwa present.”

Yunho fell silent, looking away. “Even I haven’t gotten used to the absence.”

You looked up at him- he rarely talked about his feelings when it concerned Seonghwa’s absence. Perhaps he, too, was just as traumatised as you, if not more. Perhaps, he had it worse- you wished you had put yourself in his shoes too. You were always so selfish with Seonghwa- as if he had only belonged to you.

“I still feel him,” you whispered. Yunho sighed, putting an arm around your draped shoulder, rubbing. You were stiff for a few moments before you relaxed. 

“I do, too,” Yunho whispered. “I sometimes accidentally call out Seonghwa’s name instead of Yeosang’s- he’s been my partner for three years now, you’d think I would get used to it.”

“You don’t,” you wiped a tear, “you can never get used to it.”

Yunho couldn’t stop you as you handed him the jacket and stepped away from him. He frowned, “So what do we do, y/n?”

“I don’t know,” you smiled sadly as you looked back at him. “We keep pretending we’re okay when we’re not. Just like we have for so long. I do it better now, don’t I?”

Yunho wished he could hug you and tell you you didn’t have to do that. That you were allowed to break down and cry for him for as long as you wanted. But your grief… it was like a part of you now. 

Yunho recalled the time he had returned from the operation that cost Seonghwa’s life. He had fallen to his knees in front of you, held your hands and cried his heart out. You hadn’t moved until he stopped crying and looked at you, to find your eyes filled with anger.

He still couldn’t get that moment out of his head. You had explained later that you hadn’t been angry at him- you could never be- but you were so angry with Seonghwa for leaving you and his daughter behind. For risking his life when he had just become a father a few months ago. You hadn’t cried properly as well- you always held it in, for Byeol. You had no time and luxury to be emotional. Seonghwa had always told you to be strong if something ever happened to him, so you did just that.

You probably sucked at that. You were anything but strong. The littlest things reminded you of him, and the memory of him followed you everywhere. You sometimes wished you hadn’t met him at all, hadn’t known what it was like to love him and be loved by him. You missed being in his arms, you missed his scent, his touch, everything. 

But he had left you with Byeol- a copy of him, both a blessing and a painful reminder of your time with Seonghwa. You sometimes wondered what it would have been like if you didn’t have Byeol- you would have no reason to live.

That’s what you got for loving someone who didn’t know if he would be alive the next moment. Though Seonghwa had taken the initiative in your relationship, he had also given you several chances to back out. He had told you again and again that his work would be a priority. That he would risk his life for Wonderland at any moment. You hadn’t understood the gravity of the situation until it was too late.

And now you were married to practically the same person- Seonghwa’s partner. You couldn’t bring yourself to get attached to him. Not now.

—--------------------

"I really don't think I can wear something like this…"

"You're making it sound like I chose something bad for you," Yunho raised a brow. "Come on, it's just a dress. I'm getting one for our daughter, I'm getting one for you."

Our daughter. Sometimes he said it so spontaneously that for a moment you would forget that Byeol was anything else but his daughter. You looked at Byeol who was pulling at your dress with pleading eyes with hope that you'd agree to buy the emerald green dress Yunho was holding for you.

You supposed Byeol might not be his daughter but Yunho really was her father. She knew none other. It made your heart break-

"Hey? Are you okay?" Yunho asked gently and you blinked, nodding.

"Sorry, just got lost for a second. Now let me see that," you pursed your lips as you held the emerald green gown. It was plain but somehow, the buttons of the same colour running down one sleeve from the neckline gave it an elegant flair. You glanced at Yunho who was looking expectantly at you.

You rolled your eyes in defeat. "Fine. That's the only thing I'm getting."

"Yay!" Byeol immediately held out her hands for Yunho to high-five her and you smiled at their interaction. Yunho took your dress and Byeol's midnight blue dress to get them packed and you looked around, noticing two women, their eyes following Yunho. 

Yunho had that air to him, you supposed. A presence that could fill the room. You recalled the time when you had first met Yunho- the first time Seonghwa introduced you to his group of friends. The tall man had stood out not just because of his handsome height but also his personality. You had immediately liked him and found him easy to talk to.

Why was it so difficult to talk to him now?

You wondered that, especially when you came to your bedroom after wrapping up everything in the kitchen, finding your husband reading a book half-lying on the bed. 

Probably the fact that you now shared a room had created a distance between you two. 

You went to wash up, the memories from 2 years ago making way. After almost a year of grieving, Seonghwa's mother who had spent most of the time with you in his house told you she had to go back now. She had been a great help around, and at times you'd feel like she filled the hole left by your dead mother. She had been no less than a mother to you and had helped you raise Byeol.

It had been a night like this when she had first asked you to move on. You'd looked at her as if she had said something ridiculous, but she sighed.

"I am a soldier's mother, and you are a soldier's wife. We spend most of our lives fearing the worst. When it happens, we don't give in, dear y/n. We grieve but then we stand up, straight. We go along with the flow of life. We keep them in our hearts and we move on."

"But I…" you wiped your tears, "How can I ever move on, mom? How can I stop grieving?"

Seonghwa's mother touched your face gently. "If we actually started grieving… the world would have no more soldiers."

That had made you cry your heart out and then the next day, you were brighter than the day before. The first step you took to move on. For yourself. For your daughter.

And a month later, when his mother packed her bags, promising to visit often, she made you sit with her with a cup of tea.

"I really think you should marry again," she said and the teacup almost fell from your hands. "Byeol needs a father. You need a husband. You cannot do this alone- especially with Wonderland in this state."

"Remarry?" You scoffed. "I'm sorry but I cannot imagine living with someone else, mother. I can't even think of someone else. What gave you this ridiculous idea?"

She gave you a side-eye, but sighed as she began. "I think you should really think this over. You're still so young. And Byeol… if Wonderland was in a better state and we were safe, I would have supported your stance of being independent and single for the rest of your life. I would have let you go at your pace, maybe meet someone and fall in love again and so on. But with our enemies targeting the soldier's families, and especially the circumstances of Seonghwa's death… I can't let you be alone anymore."

"I understand your stance, mom, but I simply cannot imagine myself with anyone else. And I can fend for myself. I can try. I will move somewhere else if I have to-”

"No… stay here. Seonghwa's house is yours now," his mother said. "but… Seonghwa would have wanted you to move on, y/n. And what I have in mind for you… I'm sure he would be happy for you and him."

"Him?" Your heart sank. "Don't tell me I'm the last person learning about this."

"It isn't anything like that-"

"Who did you talk to?"

Seonghwa's mother matched your glare but then gave in, sighing. "I didn't exactly talk, mind you. I was just talking to him about you and your situation and wondered out loud about who you could marry. And then…"

"Who was it?"

"Yunho," she sighed and you exhaled, looking away. "He's always visited in his free time. Byeol is so attached to him- she doesn't recognize anyone else but Yunho, out of all of Seonghwa's friends. He's been a father to her, you have to admit."

"I agree that he's doing his best, but I'm pretty sure part of it is out of his guilt and trauma other than the friendship he had with Seonghwa. And how could you even ask him something like that! What would he think of us!"

"He actually didn't hate the idea," Seonghwa's mother smiled knowingly. "He didn't really give me a reaction-"

"He's a soldier, mother," you rolled your eyes. "He's trained not to give reactions-"

"Shush," she slapped your hand lightly and you gaped at her. "He would have said no if he didn't like the idea- he's known me all his life. But he didn't really say anything. That means he's considering it."

"Pretty sure he's trying to find a way to turn your offer down politely," you muttered, groaning and hiding your face in your hands. "I am mortified. How will I face him when he comes to visit?"

"He said he'll talk to you," she got up, leaving you mortified right then. "He's coming next week."

The whole week had been disastrous for you-, trying to find and memorise the words to politely turn him down if he suggested this as well, trying to be less mortified and humiliated by the whole situation, finding yourself spacing out more often.

And then Yunho finally came. The awkwardness in the air was making you suffocate. Yunho and you used to be comfortable enough that he'd play with Byeol and you'd disappear somewhere in the kitchen or in your room, or sit and watch them with a book in your hand, or you'd hear him tell stories about Seonghwa to Byeol-

Really, he was telling you. You'd silently cry or laugh, and then he'd inquire about your health, tell you that he worries about you two a lot.

That night, when Byeol fell asleep in his arms, you took her to the bed and that's when Yunho finally cleared his throat and asked if Seonghwa's mother had said something about him.

You considered lying but decided to address the elephant in the room. You nodded, and Yunho asked you to take a walk with him. 

"I thought about it, and to be honest, for once I don't know what to do," he laughed a little. "So I just thought I'd talk to you."

"Honestly, I cannot imagine being with anyone else, Yunho," you said.

"Of course," he nodded, understanding.

"But Byeol… she's attached to you. She doesn't know who her father is. She won't understand that she doesn't have a father for a good while. I fear the day that she would start to mourn her father, but I think it would be easier for her if she had someone like you by her side… someone to fill the gap. Even without being my husband, you're doing an exceptional job."

Yunho raised a brow as he smiled. "I never intended to be that for her, but somehow… holding Byeol in my arms makes me feel like I'm making Seonghwa proud."

You smiled at that. Seonghwa would definitely be glad for all the love his friends showered Byeol with- not just Yunho. The others visited every other week as well. "The only reason I'm agreeing to remarry is because of Byeol. I gave it a lot of thought. I don't really need a husband, but Byeol needs a father."

"I understand."

"But Yunho," you paused and finally turned to lock eyes with him. "You're young. You have a whole life ahead of you. I don't want you to be bound by me and Byeol. I can't do this to you. I can remarry, yes, but it doesn't have to be you- I just can't do this to you because I don't think I can give you the love a wife is supposed to give her husband-"

"Hey, hey," Yunho rubbed your shoulders and you looked up at the night sky, tearing up when you saw a single bright star. "I know. I don't expect you to love me. I don't expect anything from you. And if you really don't want me, I won't do this. But I'm so attached to Byeol. Is there anyone else who could love her the way I love her?"

That made you sob harder. It was the first time Yunho hugged you after the day Seonghwa passed away. You let yourself cry in his arms, shaking your head but he held you, firm, secure, and surprisingly but maybe not so, you felt safe in his arms. 

"If you allow me to, I can be a friend to you, nothing more, but a father to Byeol. I'll make sure she learns all about Seonghwa and how brave her father was."

You cried harder again and he laughed a little as he drew you back, shaking his head. "Don't cry. Seonghwa always hated when you'd cry."

You nodded, wiping your face. "You're right- I can't think of anyone else who could do justice to Byeol and be her father. But Yunho… I can't do this to you. You deserve a loving wife. Your own family."

"You are my family, even now," Yunho leaned down and squeezed your shoulder. "It's your decision. Honestly, I was conflicted as well, but now I'm sure I can do this, if you allow me to. I've made my choice."

You looked at him- really looked at him for the first time. "You'll be shackled to me. Why are you doing this to yourself, I'm wondering."

Yunho stood back up, a faint smile on his face. "I think I won't have a problem with that."

2 years passed and you still wondered what exactly he meant by that, because never did he actually make a move on you. He never initiated anything, and neither did you (if we forget about that one time). He had been nothing but patient, especially during the first few months of the marriage. It was just like before- him visiting on weekends-

Except that now, he stayed. And you shared a room with him.

Perhaps, this was something you could never get used to. Him, in the same room as you, the four walls making the room feel smaller than it was whenever he was present. Even now, he was only half lying on the bed and reading a book but you…

You could never get used to this. Especially when he glanced at you and his eyes would stay on you a second longer than usual before going back to whatever he was doing.

You sighed, sitting in front of the mirror and drying your hair, watching him through the mirror, your eyes accidentally meeting once. After spending a few minutes there, you finally came to your side of the bed.

For better or for worse, Yunho was actually aware in his sleep. He'd never invade your space and never make your bed feel small. As if he was trying to make sure you didn't feel his presence when you slept. You used to have Byeol with you both in the middle since Byeol used to wake up at night quite often, and Yunho was a great help. He'd offer to hold Byeol and put her to sleep and do anything to help you. It was the reason why sleeping with him wasn't awkward at first, not that much, since technically, it was just like taking a nap and taking care of Byeol. 

And then Byeol got big enough to have her own room, and you two found yourself alone in your room. Yunho offered to start sleeping on the couch if it was too awkward for you, just like he had when he first got here.

But you stopped him for the same reason you did later. Your terrifying nightmares. The cherry on the top.

All you asked of him was to tell you what was real whenever you woke up unable to breathe. And he did without fail. He would hold your hand, push your hair back and tuck them behind your ears and hold your face if you shook too hard. He'd tell you what was real. And then he'd hold your hand as you cried and went back to sleep, sometimes closer to him than you would actually like.

And you'd always apologise to him. He only came on the weekends and he wouldn't even get to sleep peacefully. 

"I'm never sleeping peacefully, I have to be on my toes even when asleep," he would laugh and dismiss your apology. "I'm okay with this."

You turned off the lamp on your side and Yunho gently asked if you wanted him to turn off his lamp too, but you insisted you were fine, drawing the covers on yourself.

"Thank you for the dress," you finally said, realising you never actually thanked him earlier. "It's beautiful."

Yunho smiled, not looking away from his book. "Thank you for accepting it. I wish you'd accept more."

"I have improved, you have to admit," you said and Yunho raised a brow, surprised to find you teasing him. You kept a straight face but he always saw through you.

"Can you wear it the next time I come home?"

It was your turn to raise a brow and look at him. "I guess I could. Should I expect someone else?"

"Only me," his voice was thick- like it was at nights when you two talked lightly. It overwhelmed you sometimes.

"Uh… yeah. I could. It's only a dress. Let's pray Byeol doesn't decide to improve the dress this time, huh?"

Yunho laughed, recalling the time he'd bought a beige dress for you and showed it to Byeol, planning to gift it to you on your birthday and Byeol had, on her own, decided that the dress missed something, and had sketched flowers with your lipstick. You all had a good laugh over it and thankfully, after two washes the dress was saved.

"How have you been, y/n?" Yunho asked and you knew he was asking about your nightmares and insomnia.

"Better, but they still come sometimes, the nightmares," you sighed. "Last night was the first time I slept properly this whole week."

You didn't know but when you said stuff like this… Yunho felt a sense of pride. Was it his company that made you sleep better? He wished he had contributed to your better quality of sleep in some way. "So no nightmares this week but you stay up late? What do you do?"

"The usual- paint or read or just stay up and think."

Think about Seonghwa. Think about Yunho.

You had been thinking about Yunho a lot too. You wondered if you had made the wrong decision in marrying him sometimes. You looked at Yunho. "Can you tell me something? Truthfully?"

Yunho nodded and you continued. "Do you regret marrying me? Do you regret anything about this… marriage?"

Yunho took a deep breath and looked away, thinking. "If there's one thing I regret… it is that I am unable to make you happy."

Now that was something you did not expect and you found yourself speechless. Yunho smiled sadly, putting the book back on the side table and before he could turn off the lamp, you tugged at the sleeve of his shirt, drawing his attention. 

"You… you've done so much for me that if there's any way to sum it up, I have to say that I am in your debt." Yunho was about to protest when he heard that but you put a finger on your mouth, indicating to him to hear you out. "When I see you interact with Byeol, I am the happiest mother. Whatever you do for me and have done for me… it's more than enough."

Yunho held your hand, caressing it. "I always gave you whatever you wanted. Space. A friend. A father to your daughter- our daughter. And at times, a husband to you. I want you to know that whatever you ask from me… it's never gonna be too much. I haven't done enough for you."

"But you have," you smiled sadly, trying not to cry because how could he be such an angel?

Yunho shook his head furiously. "You can ask anything of me, you know that. And I'll give you all the time in the world to open up to me. We've come a great way these past three years, haven't we?"

You nodded. He continued, "I just wish you'd talk to me more. I'm only here on the weekends and we only get to talk at night time. Even if you miss Seonghwa and want to talk about him, you know I'm here."

"Thank you," you nodded. It was unfair to him when you didn't even talk to him much, you realised. "I'm sorry, I just… his death anniversary is approaching soon. You know how it gets."

He nodded, shifting so he was sitting now. "Will you come here?" He patted the space next to him and you paused for a moment but then figured you needed a shoulder tonight and sat next to him. He put an arm over your shoulders.

"Seonghwa… When he loved someone, he loved them with his entire heart. People like you and me… we think we gave him all our heart too, but really, no one loves like Seonghwa does."

"That's true," you smiled. "He was different."

"He was," Yunho nodded. "He spent all his life giving and receiving love. That's a life well-lived, isn't it?"

"Definitely."

"I never told you, but Seonghwa said something to me right before his last breath," Yunho said and your eyes went wide as you looked at Yunho. "He told me to take care of Byeol and you."

"He did?" You sighed, biting your lip to stifle the emotions making way.

"Actually, he only mentioned Byeol," Yunho said and you looked at him, shaking your head.

"That makes it more believable, yes. He used to tease me about how he forgot all about me after Byeol. In fact, he started calling Byeol his first love."

Yunho laughed lightly. "He mentioned Byeol, but I saw the worry in his eyes was for you."

You took a few deep breaths, finally putting your head on Yunho's shoulder. "Do you feel burdened by it?"

"I think I would have done everything I did either way."

You wiped your eyes and Yunho held you closer, letting the few silent tears drop. "I used to wonder what I did to deserve Seonghwa. Now I wonder if all the good I did is what got me and Seonghwa together. Then what did I do to deserve you, Yunho?"

Yunho only ran his hand through your hair, comforting you, not meeting your eyes when you kept looking at him. You took a deep breath, your hand slowly and hesitantly going to hold his face and turn him to meet your eyes, finding his eyes damp as well. "You probably hate me. I make you feel like we're going somewhere and then I push you away. I'm sorry."

"I don't hate you, I could never," Yunho held your hand that was still on his face. "Don't ever think like that."

You nodded, the two of you staring at each other, the electricity thick between you two. You unconsciously licked your lips, making his eyes fall on your lips and then as if coming out of a trance, he drew your hand down and looked away from you.

You had always suspected somewhere along the way, Yunho had started liking you. Genuinely like you as his partner. Were you ready to return your feelings for him? Would acting impulsively be a mistake? You didn't want to take a step, give him hope and then draw away from him. That would be cruel.

So you only leaned forward and lightly kissed his cheek before drawing back and turning off the lamp. You heard him lightly groan as if it was too much for him.

"I'm sorry- I should have asked."

"It's not that… it's okay, y/n," you heard him shift and turn towards you. "I won't be home for two weeks… can I hold your hand tonight?"

You knew what he meant. He was like Seonghwa, in that sense. 

After your marriage with Seonghwa, when the first time he had to leave for a code red operation, he had held you all night, more closely than you thought possible. You later asked him what happened with a laugh but he shook his head with a sad smile. 

"Before I met you, I had nothing to be afraid of. I would go to sleep like any other night, even before the most dangerous missions. But now… I can't seem to calm myself."

You narrowed your eyes at him, "Are you saying you're afraid of me?" 

Seonghwa laughed- he liked it when you made joke of his misery "It's not that, stupid. You know what I mean."

You laughed, spreading your arms and he came to hug you. You rested your head on his shoulder. "Do I finally make you worry about your life?"

"Exactly," he hugged you tighter. "I don't want to lose you."

Perhaps Yunho felt the same way as Seonghwa. Perhaps he too, was scared of losing his life now, not for himself but for you and Byeol. 

"I should have known," you said to Yunho. "You should tell me when you're afraid or scared, Yunho. It's the least you can do for me."

He only held your hand tighter. "I didn't use to be. It wasn't always like this."

"That's exactly what Seonghwa said. You're afraid you'll lose us, isn't that so?"

"Yeah," Yunho sighed.

"Do you want to know what I told him? The same thing I'm telling you now. That if anything happens to you, I'll be the one losing everything. So make sure you return."

Yunho was silent for a few moments and then he brought your hand up to kiss it. "Thank you for telling me that. It means… a lot to me."

Your heart swelled when you heard that. You decided then that what he needed tonight was you, so you shifted closer, burying your head in his chest and he hesitantly hugged you as the two of you tried sleeping.

—-----------------

It was the next weekend that the knock on your door gave you a little scare- it was almost 8 pm. For a second, your heart jumped, wondering if Yunho got an early leave, but then it followed by fear that it could be someone to deliver bad news or someone else entirely-

You were surprised to open the door to a face you had almost forgotten. You frowned but then you gasped in realisation. “Dani?”

“It’s really you, y/n!” She smiled, stretching her arms and you immediately hugged her. “It’s been years!”

“It has! How come I didn’t hear that you’re back? Come right in-”

“No, my son’s waiting for me, look over there,” she pointed to the carriage across the road. “I’ve only just arrived, I hope to see you at the dinner we’re having soon- we’re inviting all of the neighbourhood on dinner two weeks from now, I came to personally give you this message and ask you to join-”

“Mommy?” Byeol’s voice rang and when she appeared in Dani’s vision, she looked at Byeol in surprise.

“She looks just like Seonghwa! Congratulations! I can’t believe you didn’t tell me you had a daughter!”

“I’m sorry, things had been rough,” you bit your lips, noticing the boy get off the carriage and wave at you. You gestured to Dani and she sighed.

“I have to go. Let’s catch up on dinner. I want all three of you to come, you better bring Seonghwa with you!”

Before you could protest or give her another news, she rushed back with a wave. You laughed at how she was just the same as three years ago- hyper, funny and bright. As soon as you shut the door and looked at Byeol, you realised that the dinner was going to be tough.

Dani was one of your oldest friends, and one of the few people who knew about your marriage with Seonghwa. After a year of your marriage, she moved to another town because of her husband’s job, but you two kept in touch through letters.

A year later, you had Byeol- you had wanted to give her a surprise after your child was born. But only two months later, Seonghwa passed away. You never replied to any of the letters and then you moved here, in Yunho’s house, a year after your marriage with Yunho, telling Seonghwa’s mother to use the house as she pleased- you couldn’t live in Seonghwa’s house with all of the memories and not see him but Yunho instead.

It was a huge coincidence that Dani somehow became your neighbour and found you. You did not know how to explain what happened after she left. You thought about writing her a letter, but that wouldn’t be fair to her.

You spent the next week stressing over it, running across Dani while doing grocery and about to break the news to her, but then she asked if Seonghwa was doing well, and you couldn’t help but nod and leave it at that, regretting it later. But you did not want to break the news to her in public.

It was finally Friday afternoon. You got Byeol ready, having a little fun with her when she took a bath, drying her hair and styling it into two braids which made her look the cutest, letting her run along to her room where she played with her toys. Meanwhile, you stood holding the emerald gown in front of yourself and looking at the mirror.

Was it the first time you were going to dress up for Yunho? 

It wasn’t the first time he had brought you a dress, no. But it had been the first time he asked you to wear it at a specific time- his arrival. It made everything feel different, especially with how the two of you opened up to each other after so long. One step closer.

With a faint smile on your face, you decided this was the least you could do for him. You always wanted to look pretty in front of Seonghwa. With Yunho, you hadn’t really paid much attention to how you looked- but you could start.

Especially because Yunho was, if you were honest, always a sight for sore eyes. He looked incredibly good in his uniform, in all black, just like Seonghwa did. 

After changing, you turned around, admiring how well the dress fit. Yunho had a good eye, it seemed. You pinned your hair back from the front and decided that would do, applying a little makeup like you usually did. You looked much better than usual with just a little effort and that made you wonder if you should put in more effort from now on.

When the knock sounded, Byeol ran to open the door and you called her, laughing at how she rushed. She opened the door after peeking through the window, hugging Yunho immediately and he picked her as he came inside, kissing her cheek repeatedly and tickling her. 

You waited for him to drop her down and when he finally did as he was standing up, he paused for a moment before smiling and walking towards you, stopping in front of you.

“Have you been well?”

“I have,” you nodded. “I hope everything went smoothly?”

“It did,” he nodded, hesitating before cupping your face with one hand and caressing it for a moment. “You look beautiful.”

Your heart did a few jumps and you thanked him. He turned to Byeol, motioning her to come to him and she did, doing a little twirl along the way.

“How do I look?” She asked. 

“Let’s see… the cutest I’ve ever seen,” Yunho announced and she did a little happy dance. You went to the kitchen and called them, serving dinner. Yunho told Byeol the story of his journey- he said he made it up, but you were sure it was some truth mixed with a little imagination. It made Byeol feel very adventurous, as if there was nothing that could stop her from going on the same path as her father-

As Yunho and Seonghwa. Both.

You sometimes wonder if she really would decide to go on the same path. Would you stop her? Would Yunho stop her? You weren’t sure.

After wrapping up the kitchen while Byeol and Yunho sat in front of the fire and played, you noticed Byeol was half asleep in his arms. It always made you smile- how safe Byeol felt in Yunho’s arms when she wasn’t the type to open up to everyone. 

Yunho noticed you and motioned for you to help pick Byeol up and you did, going to her room and tucking her in. Yunho kissed her forehead before turning on a small lamp and leaving the room with you.

“Tea?” You offered.

“I’ll make it,” Yunho said and you sat in front of the fire, recalling the time you had first dressed up for Seonghwa and he had looked at you with such love in his eyes that you had almost cried. And then he had called you beautiful- just like Yunho had tonight.

Yunho cleared his throat, breaking you out of your trance and you took the teacup from him, taking a sip while Yunho settled himself on the couch in front of you. 

"The boys are coming over tomorrow," Yunho reminded you and you nodded- you had been making sure everything was perfect for the past two days. 

"Let's see who manages to win Byeol's heart this time," you smiled.

"Is there anything you need for tomorrow? I could get it in the morning-"

"No, it's alright. I’m fully prepared. I didn't have anything to do anyway so I just made sure we had enough food and wine for tomorrow."

"Sounds good," he sighed. "It's really been a while since we all gathered like this, hasn't it?"

You nodded. The boys hadn't paid a visit together, they would come alone or in pairs. You didn't mind either way. You liked having someone who would share Seonghwa's memories with you. In fact, that was the part you liked best.

"Anything happen while I was gone?"

You considered telling him about Dani, but figured you could tell him later and shook your head. "Nothing important. Just some neighbours being nosy, as usual. I shut them up with an apple pie."

"Good move," Yunho laughed, and the two of you drank the rest of your tea in silence, staring at the fire. 

Being with Yunho, sitting in silence like this gave you a sense of comfort but also made you a little nervous. Your eyes trailed from his feet up to his outfit- black pants, black fitted shirt, the half sleeves really proving how well-built he was. You noticed a little scratch that ran down his forearm, and another down his neck-

Yunho caught you looking at him. To save yourself, you pointed at the scratches. Yunho hadn’t even noticed the scratch on his arm. “Would you believe me if I told you it was from a cat?”

You gaped at him. “There’s no way. Cats love you.”

Cats did, in fact, love him. Dogs did as well. It was the reason why there were so many cats and dogs around your house- Byeol would always spend hours in the afternoon playing with them. Sometimes you wonder if everyone but you loved him-

“I got too friendly with a cat, if you can believe me,��� he scoffed. “Didn’t go well.”

“That’s unbelievable, actually,” you crossed your legs. “But if that’s true, you might want to get a bit too friendly with the cats outside. Byeol has made it her life’s mission to adopt every cat that even looks this way.”

Yunho laughed. “It keeps her busy, doesn’t it?”

“Keeps me busy too,” you nodded. “We leave the door open so they come and go as please- or I shoo them off.”

“And the dogs? I saw a really large cute one earlier-”

“You’ll instigate a war between cats and dogs at this rate, Yunho,” you gave him a side-eye, “Byeol is always trying to make peace and I get scared sometimes.”

“Oops,” Yunho pretended to look sorry but failed. “I’ll… do something about it.”

“Do tell Byeol whatever you plan to do because if one cat or dog goes missing, she raises hell.”

“That’s very much like Seonghwa,” Yunho laughed. “When we used to camp on the border, he’d share his ration with the animals and then steal food from us.”

You scoffed but smiled. “No wonder. Like father, like daughter. She keeps stealing something from the kitchen if she thinks one of her friends is hungry.”

“Let’s hope she shows the same spirit tomorrow with the animals coming…”

Byeol didn’t, at least for a while.

“She’s so shy and cute, I love it,” Wooyoung said, munching on a piece of garlic bread as he settled back on the sofa in defeat. “Mark my words, she’s gonna get the most friendly with me first.”

“No, it’s gonna be me,” Hongjoong slapped Wooyoung’s hand, drawing Byeol’s attention as he motioned her to come to him but Byeol only hid further in Yunho’s arms, making everyone laugh.

“She’s being mischievous, look at that smile!” Mingi said. Indeed, Byeol was passing sly looks to everyone. 

“Let’s place bets,” San announced. “I’m betting on myself.”

Jongho scoffed. “Wooyoung’s going to win, San.”

San watched in horror as Wooyoung and Jongho clapped. Hongjoong betted on himself out of spite and Yunho betted on Wooyoung as well. Mingi followed, which left Yeosang and you.

“I wish I could not bet on Wooyoung, but it is Wooyoung,” he said and Wooyoung yelled in victory. Everyone looked at you to hear your final verdict as the mother.

“Well,” you scratched your chin, smiling. “It’s hard not to love Wooyoung, isn’t it?”

The silence that drew made you raise your brow. Hongjoong nodded slowly. “Did Seonghwa say that?”

It took you a moment to realise that indeed, you were quoting Seonghwa. You nodded and Wooyoung sighed, looking up, Yeosang rubbing his back. You were scared for a moment but then Wooyoung looked at you.

“He was very right,” Wooyoung grinned. “I am very hard not to love. Which is why… I win! And I’m gonna prove it! Byeol-ah, let’s play with the cats!”

That immediately caught Byeol’s attention and she hesitantly made way to Wooyoung and he took her outside. Hongjoong, who was sitting next to you, patted your shoulder. “You want to take a walk?”

You followed him outside, watching Wooyoung and Byeol play like old friends in the garden for a while and having a laugh over it before resuming walking. Hongjoong glanced at you, watching your feet with every step you took.

“How have you been, y/n?” He asked, and you knew what he meant.

“I’m… better. Sometimes I think I’m better and then something happens and I’m back to where I was.”

“Is it still too hard to think of him?” He asked. 

“I don’t cry every time I think of him, that’s definitely an improvement,” you looked at Hongjoong and he nodded. “But then something reminds me of him so intensely that all of it comes like a crashing wave.”

“I understand,” he sighed. “I’ve gotten better too, especially since San and Wooyoung joined my team. They don’t even let me breathe.”

You laughed. “One thing I know is that you can’t push the memories back and shut them in a box. You… live with them.”

“That’s true,” Hongjoong asked. “And… How's Yunho?”

Hongjoong had never asked anything about you and Yunho before. Even though he was probably your closest friend, he had never done that, perhaps fearing it would be interference since you were a married couple now. So you raised a brow in question. “What exactly do you mean?”

“He’s had it tough too, being Seonghwa’s partner for the longest time. Does he talk about it to you? Because he hasn’t been talking much to us either. I’m actually worried about him.”

You frowned- Yunho always looked so optimistic, so cheerful. His presence could lift your mood, even when you did not want it. You wondered if he hurted more than you- but perhaps, you couldn’t weigh it. What he had with Seonghwa would never be the same as what you had with Seonghwa- they were two different relationships, and you couldn’t say one mattered more.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked-”

“No, it’s okay,” you shook your head. “I’m just… surprised, is all. Yunho’s always so bright and cheerful at home, I never noticed that it was because he’s keeping it all in. I thought he talked to one of you.”

“And we were thinking he’d finally talked to you,” Hongjoong smiled. “We were all wrong, eh?”

You sighed, nodding. “I… Yunho and I… we don’t really talk much about Seonghwa. We do talk- we don’t pretend the ghost of his memory is not with us, but… I guess you could say we haven’t really had a heart to heart conversation yet. He’s only home during the weekends and I really don’t wanna spoil the time he gets to rest with me being a mess and whatnot-”

“You both need to talk, dear,” Hongjoong said. “Yunho's been a bit distracted at work recently. You know it could cost his life- being distracted. I thought something happened between you two, maybe a fight or something, but it seems like everything’s just the way it always has been?”

“Yeah, you could say,” you nodded. “I actually asked him if he regretted marrying me.” Hongjoong narrowed his eyes at you and you slapped his arm. “Just listen. He said he did not. He only regrets that he can’t make me happy. He…”

You recalled what he had said that night-

"I just wish you'd talk to me more. I'm only here on the weekends and we only get to talk at night time. Even if you miss Seonghwa and want to talk about him, you know I'm here."

“I’m realising that maybe I really should talk. I’ve been such a bad person and wife, Hongjoong, I don’t know what to do about it. The shame, the disappointment in my own self, it eats me up sometimes. And everytime Yunho does something that reminds me of Seonghwa, I just…”

“Hey, it’s okay to feel that way,” Hongjoong rubbed your back. “You haven’t been a bad person or wife, you just needed time to heal and so did he. And Seonghwa… he’s always gonna come back in your head. But you don’t cry anymore. You smile when you think of him, okay? Can you do that for him?”

You laughed as you wiped a few tears away. Hongjoong continued, “You also shouldn’t feel pressured to do anything. Just… go along with the flow. It’s been three years since Seonghwa passed away- it’s time you stop crying- it breaks my heart that it still hurts you like it happened yesterday. Think about how sad and sorry Seonghwa would be if he learned you’re in this state even now.”

“I know that,” you stifled your tears. “I just… I’m trying. I’m getting there. I’ll get there.”

“I believe in you. And next time you open up to someone about how you feel and how you miss Seonghwa… it should be Yunho.”

“But you’re my big brother, aren’t you?” You said, laughing because you used to call him that when Seonghwa was alive. Seonghwa called Hongjoong ‘little brother’ and you’d team up with Hongjoong to tease Seonghwa. 

“I still am, and you can still talk to me about anything,” he shook his head, smiling. “But Yunho… he needs that too. Do you understand?”

“I do,” you nodded. “I’ll really try. God, Yunho reminds me so much of Seonghwa, it just gets strange sometimes.”

“But Yunho is very different from Seonghwa too, isn’t he?” Hongjoong smiled.

He is, you knew that. Even though he was much like Seonghwa, he was very different as well. Perhaps it made it harder for you, or perhaps, that was just an excuse to justify the reason you found it hard to open up to him.

But it wasn’t about you anymore. You needed Yunho to open up to you. As a friend, you had to do that. As a wife, you should do that. He needed a shoulder as much as you needed one.

That night, you asked Yunho how it felt to have everyone home but Seonghwa. Yunho raised a brow, as if he should have asked this question. And he said exactly that.

“I’ve been seeing the boys without Seonghwa for a long time now- I guess it was a little different now that they were all here. How do you feel? Are you okay?"

"It was a good idea to have them all over,” you smiled. “It felt like Seonghwa was there too, didn’t it?”

Yunho smiled, looking down and he nodded. You scooted closer to him, putting a hand on his arm. “Hongjoong tells me you’re distracted at work. What’s the matter, Yunho?”

“Hongjoong said that?” Yunho was surprised. “I’m not exactly distracted. I’m fine-”

“You know you can talk to me, right?” You tugged his sleeve, making him lock eyes with you. “I know I haven’t been the best person ever and I don’t talk about myself much, but I want to start, Yunho. I also want to be someone you can talk to about anything. Can you do that?”

Yunho was confused, if he was honest. He always felt like everytime that you two made a little progress, you’d have some sort of a realisation- or worse, breakdown- when he was away, and you’d turn into the same old person who watched everything but said nothing, who never talked about her feelings, never opened up. He sometimes wondered if you hated him. 

“I can, but… I’m also afraid of being hurt, y/n, by you.”

It felt like a wake-up call that you needed. So that’s how he thinks.

“I- I never thought about it like that…” you admitted, hugging yourself. “I’ve been selfish, haven’t I?”

“You are allowed to be selfish,” Yunho wore a sad smile as he said that. “About Seonghwa, at least. But… I don’t know. I know I said I’ll give you all the time in the world to open up to me, but I… I want to get closer to you because everytime I go on a mission, I realise that I don’t have the luxury of ‘time’.”

You nodded, biting your lips. Seonghwa didn’t have the luxury of time either, which was why whenever he was with you, he always made the most out of every moment. You two never wasted time on useless arguments (unless it was for fun’s sake) or fights. 

“Sometimes I think I have you, y/n,” he tucked the hair that hid your face behind your ear and you felt overwhelmed by the emotions in his eyes. He dropped his hand. “And sometimes… you’re gone, just like that.”

“I’m sorry,” you whispered.

“You don’t have anything to be sorry for, that’s what’s funny about this situation,” Yunho sighed. “I feel like the bad guy everytime I talk about myself-”

“You’re making me feel like the bad guy now, thank you,” you laughed and Yunho shrugged. You crossed your legs, taking his hands and playing with them in your lap- it was the first time you really looked at his hands- how long his fingers were, how pretty his hands were. The callouses, the toughness of his hands… it was just like Seonghwa’s, yet at that moment, you didn’t really think of Seonghwa. You only saw Yunho- his hands that made you feel so safe these days. 

“Can we put away our past, Yunho? Can we start new? I want to try being your wife, and by that, I mean… an actual wife. I want to be your friend. I want you to open up to me, and I want to open up to you too. I want to cook your favourite food when you come home, I want to take walks with you. I also want you to hold me if sometimes I miss Seonghwa too much and break down. And if I push you away again, I want you to run after me. Can we do that?”

Yunho’s hands trembled a little. He didn’t say anything, just watched you as your small hands held his, caressing them so delicately. 

“You can take your time too,” you said. “But tonight… I want you to talk about Seonghwa. I want you to tell me if it’s hard at work. I want you to tell me if you miss him, because you always listen to me, but you’re keeping it all in, and it’s killing you, I can see it now. Why haven’t you talked to the boys, Yunho?”

“They all miss him too,” Yunho sighed. “But I… I’m burdened by his last moments. I’m burdened by the fact that I was leading the team and Seonghwa died during that mission. I always wonder if I had done one thing different-”

He looked down and his body shook. You pursed your lips to stifle your own tears and pulled him into a hug. “Let it all out. You can cry here.”

Yunho did, and it was the most heartbreaking thing ever. You couldn’t help but cry along with him. You told him again and again that it wasn’t his fault. 

“It’s foolish to think of different scenarios that could have prevented his death. He was a soldier- one day or another, soldiers all meet the same fate. He was one of the King’s most trusted agents. He did his job. And he died a proud soldier, Yunho. Don’t ever think that it was your fault.”

Yunho nodded, breaking the hug and wiping his face. You rubbed his shoulders. “You’ve been so brave, going back to doing the same job again. You’re so strong. You’ve been so strong for me and Byeol too. So when you feel like this again… you talk to me, okay? I’m here for you like you’ve been here for me.”

Yunho nodded, and you leaned forward to kiss his cheek, lingering for a moment and then Yunho scooted to rest his back, holding you in his arms. “Thank you for tonight.”

You rested your head on his chest, feeling his steady heartbeat. “Thank you for everything, Yunho. Let’s be… best friends. That’s the least we can be, isn’t it?”

Yunho chuckled. “What have we been till now?”

“Housemates, I like to think,” you giggled, and Yunho thought it was the loveliest sound he had heard. 

“I love that you tease and joke with me now. Please… let’s stay like this, y/n. At least like this.”

You nodded, and the two of you fell asleep in each other’s arms after more teasing.

—----------------

It was the Friday of the next week that you remembered that you had forgotten about Dani and her housewarming dinner. And… you had forgotten to tell Yunho too.

Yunho wasn’t going to be a problem- he would love to visit Dani, you were aware of that. The problem was, Dani still thought Seonghwa was alive. She wasn’t aware of Yunho’s existence. And tomorrow night, when everyone in the neighbourhood will be present… you prayed that Dani could hold herself from a loud reaction, at least. The people who knew about your situation already looked at you funny.

Yunho was going to arrive in a few hours on his weekly break. You contemplated telling him about the situation- maybe you could visit Dani earlier with Yunho and let her know everything, but…

You really couldn’t handle telling Dani everything, was what you were afraid of. 

To be fair, you hadn’t really sat and talked about everything that came to happen in one sitting. And you were afraid you were going to create a scene when you finally did. Just thinking about it made your chest tight and want to break down all over again. 

Your train of thoughts were broken when you heard the kettle boil. You sighed, turning off the stove and staring into space until you felt Byeol tug at your dress. 

“It’s time to feed the cats, mommy.”

You nodded, patting her cheek and she rushed outside with a giggle. You shook your head, smiling faintly as you mixed your tea and followed her outside with the leftovers from last night, asking Byeol to do the deed.

Byeol, happy with the responsibility, took the box from you and gathered the bowls- and the cats- and started putting equal amounts of food in the bowls. You heart swelled with adoration, thanking fates for blessing you with a sensible and lovely daughter, wondering how lucky you had been to have raised her right, but you knew-

The credit… It went to Yunho. If you were honest, the reason Byeol was such a nice daughter and person was because Yunho raised her right, always showering her with love, always being patient with her and you. You knew firsthand how kids felt if their parents weren’t on good terms with each other, and your heart swelled with pride that Yunho had never been frustrated or angry with you- not even in private. If it had just been you, Byeol wouldn’t have been such a pure soul. You didn’t even want to think about the possibility of her having an unloving father.

As if Yunho had heard you thinking about him, he popped in front of you, making you put a hand on your heart as you breathed. “You scared me!”

“Sorry,” Yunho grinned. “I didn’t realise you were daydreaming.”

You passed him a sideways glance. “You’re early today. That’s surprising.”

“Got lucky,” Yunho sat down next to you. “When do you think Byeol is going to look away from the cats and notice her poor father came home to see her?”

You let out a short laugh, shaking her head at how Byeol stood with her hands on her hips as she watched the cats, making sure none of them fought over food. “She’s a soldier on duty right now, you of all people should know that look.”

Yunho laughed as he nodded. “I promised to take Byeol with me to the forest, show her some archery and let her try. Do you want to join?”

“Let’s see…” you stifled your smile, deciding it was your turn to surprise him. “Should I? Maybe you could teach me how to shoot as well.”

Yunho glanced at you, narrowing his eyes. “Why do I get the feeling I’m in for a surprise?”

He found out he was right soon after. He let Byeol try first, a small bow and arrows made just for her. She wasn’t bad and you both applauded her, and then Yunho handed you his bow, teaching you how to hold it, adjusting your arms and back. You let him, pretending to be totally unaware.

“So you hold the arrow from here,” Yunho folded your fingers around the arrow. “Chin straight, like this-” he adjusted your chin. “And back straight- yes. Now, breathe. Aim. Let go.”

You nodded, aiming for the bullseye. Yunho stood wondering how far you would miss, but you hit only an inch away from the bullseye, making Yunho’s jaw drop. You flipped the stray strands of your hair, grinning shamelessly at him. 

“I knew something was fishy the moment you asked me to teach you!” Yunho laughed in disbelief and Byeol finally let out a wow after having held her breath, looking at you with admiration.

“Seonghwa taught me how to shoot,” you admitted and Yunho laughed, saying of course it was him. “But I have to admit, you’re a better tutor than Seonghwa.”

“Really? How?”

“He just told me to ‘visualise’ when I couldn’t shoot properly the first two times. It didn’t end like it was supposed to,” you laughed, recalling how Seonghwa had been patient at first and then the teasing had started and you two had ended up aiming arrows at each other, betting on who would actually shoot the other. Of course, it ended with Seonghwa giving up first and then doing what he did best- shut you up with a kiss and more.

“That’s funny, since he’s the one who taught us all how to shoot,” Yunho rubbed his chin. “I guess his patience ran out with us.”

“Definitely did,” you muttered and Yunho laughed.

“Let’s go for another round. Let me see how good you are.”

You and Byeol shoot arrow after arrow, Yunho encouraging Byeol after every shot and applauding you. Your shots weren’t hundred percent accurate but they were more than enough. 

That night, after dinner, washing up and putting Byeol to bed, you asked Yunho about the first time Seonghwa had taught him how to shoot.

“We were 10, I think. Seonghwa’s father was an excellent shooter so he followed in his steps. He would steal his father’s bow and come to the forest and teach us all how to use it. Hongjoong has a good eye so all it took was one look at the arrow for him to carve them himself. All we needed was the bow, and he’d bring it every other day, until his father caught him and all of us got an earful and a slap to the butt for thinking we’re better than we actually are.”

You scoffed. “I’m not surprised. How did you continue?”

“Do you think we’re the type to give up just like that?” Yunho raised a brow and you understood, nodding.

“So you continued doing the same thing? No wonder all of your parents decided the military was a good place for you lot.”

Yunho laughed and you joined, shaking your head. “Did he tell you about how we all got recruited as the King’s agents?”

“Yeah- it was you. The King chose you and Wooyoung announced either he hire the whole lot or he give you up,” you smiled. “You’re lucky to have such friends.”

“Incredibly lucky,” Yunho nodded. “Don’t you have some old friends? I don’t think you’ve ever mentioned someone-”

“Good heavens, I forgot to tell you,” you sat properly, sighing. “Dani is my old friend and neighbour- Seonghwa knew her. She moved away when Seonghwa was alive and she came back two weeks ago, stopping by shortly to tell me to come to her housewarming which is… tomorrow.”

“We can go,” Yunho nodded.

“The thing is,” you sighed deeply. “She doesn’t know about Seonghwa and… you. It’s gonna be hard for her to digest this, and with everyone being there tomorrow…”

“Are you scared?” Yunho asked and you bit your lips, nodding. Yunho’s fingers brushed yours and when you didn’t pull away, he held your hand, caressing it, urging you to tell him what exactly were you scared of.

“I’m afraid I’m gonna break down when I tell her, because honestly, I haven’t really narrated all of this yet to anyone,” you shrugged, trying not to break down right then as well. “It’s going to be hard for both of us. I’m thinking up excuses to not go-”

“Hey, it’s going to be alright,” Yunho squeezed your hand. “Dani… she’s going to find out one day. It’s better if she hears it from you, isn’t it? And… I’ll be with you, y/n. You have nothing to be scared of.”

You spent the longest time staring at your intertwined hands, trying to recall what it was like when Seonghwa held your hands. You couldn’t remember how it felt anymore, and it made you cry and take your hand away from Yunho’s grasp, folding in on yourself and hugging yourself as you cried.

You were lying on the bed and Yunho only caressed your head, waiting for you to let it out. You wouldn’t open your eyes and the tears kept falling. When you finally did, you looked guilty.

“I sometimes try to recall how Seonghwa’s hands felt when he held or caressed my hands. When you do that to me, Yunho… for the shortest moment I’m with Seonghwa all over again. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

Yunho stopped caressing your head as he realised just why it was so hard for you to accept gestures like these from him. He gulped as his heart sank. “Do you think I’m Seonghwa? Do you make yourself think that? Because if you do-”

“No, no,” you shook your head. “I got my lesson when I did that- if you remember from the time I kissed you.”

Yunho remembered- oh yes, he did. It was something he had never been able to forget even when you both pretended that never happened, simply because he had never seen someone look at him with such longing and desperation in their eyes. It tore him apart when he realised that you did that while thinking of Seonghwa, letting yourself believe it was Seonghwa in front of you, not Yunho. 

This time, you took Yunho’s hand. “I want to be able to touch you without thinking of Seonghwa. And when I finally kiss you… I want it to be because I want you. Seonghwa was my first love but he is gone now. No one can replace that. But you… you are Yunho, not Seonghwa. And loving you, I’m finding, is very different from loving Seonghwa.”

Yunho squeezed your hand, out of breath because of your admission. You smiled faintly when you looked at him. “I have always loved you, Yunho, from the moment you became a father to Byeol. You have raised her into a beautiful person, and I give you all the credit for who Byeol is today. But now… I want to love you as my husband, not my daughter’s father. And tomorrow, when I tell Dani about you… I don’t want to break down. I want to be proud of you, my husband.”

Yunho couldn’t hold it back anymore. He pulled you in for a hug, your arms looping in his shoulders. He buried his face in the crook of your neck, breathing in the scent of you and sighing as he squeezed you. “I’ve always been proud of you, from the moment you put Byeol first and decided to marry me. I would have died happy even if you did not love me, because you gave me a family. I don’t want you to do anything out of obligation-”

“You’ve been so patient with me,” you told him, caressing his head. “I want to return it. It’s not just because we’re married. It’s because I got to know you through the way you raised Byeol. I got to know you when you gave me space. I got to know you when you talk about Seonghwa. And I like that person. I want to get to know you now. Just Yunho, not the husband, not the friend, not the father… just you.” You drew back, holding his face and taking in his features. “Jeong Yunho. I want to get to know you.”

“I didn’t realise you’re so poetic, y/n,” Yunho shook his head, smiling uncontrollably.

“Well, that’s what happens when you spend too much time alone,” you scoffed. “And one thing I’ve got to know about you, Jeong Yunho, is that you really can’t stay serious, can you?”

Yunho laughed, “I was serious!”

“I mean,” you laughed, pinching his cheeks, “you always make a funny comment when you’re shy or embarrassed, when I do something like this. And then you start blushing.”

Yunho frowned, touching his cheeks and finding out he was, indeed, all hot from blushing. You giggled, pinching his flushed cheeks again. “I find it cute, so don’t shy away now.”

Yunho pouted, pushing your hands away and burying his face in the pillows, making you laugh and lie down next to him. “Let’s see how long you can hold your breath.”

Yunho shifted, staring at you, and you found his eyes flash for the briefest seconds. “Do you want me to find out how you blush? Because I don’t think I’ve really seen it, and now I really want to-”

“Okay, okay, Jeong Yunho is also a tease. I should have known,” you muttered, ignoring his question because you could already feel a blush creeping on your cheeks from the way he had looked at you and the way his voice was so low when he said that. You started towards the book at your side table but when you turned, Yunho’s face was inches away from yours and the book fell in your lap out of surprise, Yunho’s gaze making you sink down into the bed until you were lying flat and he was on top of you.

“Yunho,” your voice barely came as a whisper and you marvelled at the effect he had on you just because of his gaze- but to be fair… this gaze was too much. It was hot. He no longer had flushed cheeks, and you were pretty sure your whole face was red as he scanned it. The faint smile on his parted lips didn’t help either. He was on top of you, and you were trapped.

“Revenge is sweet,” he scoffed but his eyes shifted again as he caressed your face once. He leaned forward and for a moment you thought he was going to kiss you, and perhaps he was. He stopped right when your noses brushed, as if it brought him back to his senses. He drew back, surprised to not see you panicking like you used to whenever he looked at you differently or initiated physical contact. Rather, it looked like you wanted something from him. 

So Yunho only planted one kiss on your cheekbone, letting his lips trail faintly down and planted one final kiss on your jaw, lingering before drawing back and caressing your face. “You’re red as a tomato.”

That did it for you. You pushed him off of you, laughing. It was your turn to hide your face in the pillows.

—----------------

The smell of roasted meat hit you as soon as you saw the bright lights of the outdoor setting Dani had done for the housewarming dinner. Byeol was a little shy as she spotted kids her age all playing together and she hid behind your dress. Yunho pinched her cheek as he chuckled, urging her to go and interact with the kids once they greet everyone.

Dani was busy grilling meat with her son- you greeted the two of them, glad to see how grown up her son was now, already a teenager. Yunho, as planned, had disappeared into the crowd of husbands, waiting for your signal so you could finally introduce him to Dani.

“Seonghwa must already have disappeared over there,” Dani tried to search him in the crowd but you shook your head. 

“He’s not here,” you said and Dani frowned, but you dismissed it as you promised to tell her later about it. “Tell me, how has your life been?”

So Dani told you all about what had happened in the past few years. Some other ladies from the neighbourhood joined as you all ate, sharing stories over drinks. You felt good- you were laughing more than you usually did, you weren’t worried about anything. You decided you would meet up with people in your neighbourhood more- they were all such kind people.

When you all were done eating, you and Dani walked to where the kids all sat, playing with pebbles. Dani sighed happily. “Kids grow up so fast. I can’t believe my Channie is already at the age where we think our parents are our enemies.”

You scoffed. “I fear the possibility of Byeol being that teenager, but I know no matter how good kids are and how good their parents are, they go through that. It’s natural.”

“Yep. I feel sorry for my poor mother who had to deal with hot headed teenage Dani,” she pursed her lips, grinning. “She must have had a blast.”

“Definitely,” you chuckled, watching Byeol play her turn and throw the pebbles in the air and then catching them. “Dani… I have something to tell you.”

Dani raised her brows at your sombre tone. “What?”

You took a deep breath, turning to face her, hugging yourself not because of the chill breeze but because you needed it more. “Seonghwa… passed away two months after Byeol was born.”

The faint smile fell from Dani’s face and her eyes widened in horror. “But- you-”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t have the strength to tell you,” you smiled sadly. “You came in such a rush, and I was surprised, and honestly… It has been hard even talking about it. But I’m getting better now.”

“I… I am so sorry, y/n,” Dani’s eyes were wet with tears that finally fell when she hugged you and cried. “Seonghwa… He was like a brother to me, you know that. He’s in a better place now, isn’t he?”

“He must be,” you hugged her back. “Watching over Byeol, a star in the sky.” You broke the hug, wiping her tears. “I’m sorry I didn’t return your letters. It was… really hard.”

“I understand, you have nothing to apologise for,” Dani wiped her face. 

“I also want you to meet someone,” you smiled and Dani frowned in confusion. You looked back at the crowd, finding Yunho already looking in your direction. You nodded and he hesitated before coming forward, joining you. 

“This is Jeong Yunho. Seonghwa’s best friend, my best friend… and my husband. Byeol wouldn’t know the love of a father without him.”

Dani smiled, greeting Yunho. Yunho looked at you, “Y/n’s told me a lot about you, Dani.”

“All good things, I hope.”

“All good things,” Yunho confirmed with a smile. “I hope you’ll come over for tea soon. It’s a lovely dinner party you’ve hosted.”

“Thank you, Yunho, and I… will. Soon. She and I have a lot of catching up to do,” she winked at you.

Yunho nodded, patting your back before leaving you two. Dani wiped her tears, laughing in disbelief and happiness. “I… I’m proud of you, y/n. It must have been such a difficult decision to make. Tell me you’re happy with him.”

“I am,” you admitted, wiping your own tears. “I’m so grateful to him. He’s loved Byeol like a father even before we were married.” 

You told Dani about how you had known Yunho since you met Seonghwa’s group of friends. You told her about how Seonghwa passed away in a mission with Yunho and Yunho blamed himself out of guilt, how he loved Byeol even before your marriage and how it was Seonghwa’s mother, of all the people, who arranged this marriage. You told her about how it was so hard at first but you couldn’t think of a better partner and father of your child. 

“I was so unfair with him, Dani,” you sighed, resting your head on her shoulder. “All he’s done is given me space and love and all I did was push him away. I finally realised how stupid I’ve been.”

“You needed time, don’t beat yourself over it,” Dani patted your shoulder. “And he’s a good man if he gave you all the time and space you needed. You don’t have to push yourself.”

“I’m finally moving on with life. Saying that I’m moving on from Seonghwa… that wouldn’t be fair, would it?” You thought. “Seonghwa will always be in my heart. But Yunho… I think I love him too.”

“Seonghwa would be happy for you two, and he would be so proud of his best friend and his wife,” Dani smiled. “See that? The brightest star? That’s definitely Seonghwa, twinkling because he’s pissed at you for thinking all the negative stuff-”

“Shut up,” you laughed. “He’s twinkling because he’s happy for us, and he’s watching Byeol.”

“Definitely,” Dani nodded, noticing the guests calling her over. “Let’s do the rest of catching up later. It’s time to see everyone off.” She got up, taking your hand and squeezing it. “Just for the record… Yunho better be ready to spoil me like Seonghwa did.”

You laughed, letting her know that you’ll have to tell Yunho just what he was in for.

—------------------

Seonghwa’s mother dropped by the following Wednesday. She had informed you by a letter two days before and you had been preparing for her arrival, and Byeol had been the most excited, running around the house because ‘granny’ was finally visiting after months. 

And Granny was pleasantly surprised to see how much brighter the house looked- not just in the decor that had changed a lot since her last visit, but the mood. She was pleased inside to see the positive smile on your face this time as you hugged her.

“It’s been far too long, my daughter, I’m sorry for being late,” she kissed your cheek and smiled before looking at Byeol. “Let me see… who is this kid? I don’t remember Byeol being so big!”

“I’ve grown!” Byeol clung to her grandmothers’ knee and the two of you laughed over the gesture. 

You let the two catch up while you set the table. After dinner and a lot of playing with Byeol, after which she passed out in her grandmother’s arms, you put her to bed and sat by the fireplace with Seonghwa’s mother, a cup of coffee in both your hands.

“Is it time I finally comment on how happier and healthier you look since the last time I saw you?” Seonghwa’s mother smiled knowingly. “For the first time, I feel relieved.”

You looked down, smiling. “I realised a lot of things in the past few months, things I had turned a blind eye to.”

“How did it happen?” She sighed happily. “What changed you, y/n?”

You stared at the fire. “I don’t think there’s one moment that changed it, mother. A lot of small moments collected in my heart, until it was so full of all the love Yunho gave me. Until all the space he gave me… ran out. He made me really look at him.”

“And how do you feel about all of this?” 

“I have finally figured out what to do with my heart,” you laughed. “Seonghwa… he’ll always stay. I had been trying to forget him, but I realised I didn’t have to forget him to move on. I have to remember him. He’ll always be a part of my life. Having Yunho… that won’t change anything.”

“Finally,” Seonghwa’s mother groaned uncharacteristically and you gaped at her as she flipped her hair haughtily. “You’d think me telling you the same thing over and over would have done the trick, but no. I guess it must be Yunho who somehow made you realise that.”

You smiled sheepishly and she gave you a teasing glance. You shook your head, “It’s like you’ve been far too eager for this to happen, haven’t you?”

“I just want to see you all truly happy,” she smiled. “I’m glad you finally understand that you can still be happy, y/n. I’m sure Seonghwa is also as relieved as I am.”

“He must be, right?” You looked up, trying to push back the tears. “I miss him so much, still.”

“I do too,” his mother smiled. “It’s not something we have control over, is it?” 

“Not really,” you wiped your eyes. “How did you… cope with it, mom? After your husband passed away?”

“Ironically, like you,” she laughed and you gave her a sideways glance, smiling. “The first few years were horrible. Seonghwa had a tough time too, he was only 14. It took us both some patience and time because we strayed away from each other too. We realised later that we were on the same boat. Then, we stopped hating each other. We became each other’s comfort.”

“And did you never consider remarrying?”

“I did, actually,” she admitted and you were surprised. “But not because Seonghwa needed a father. No one could replace that anymore. I guess I was lonely. I needed someone to love. I only talked about the possibility once with Seonghwa, and it didn’t end well. He told me I didn’t need anyone as long as he was alive. Well, 14 years old think they have everything, don’t they?”

You scoffed. “I can’t believe Seonghwa said that. I thought he would have encouraged you.”

“The Seonghwa you know would have encouraged this, yes,” she laughed. “But the teenager Seonghwa? I’m glad you didn’t meet him.”

The two of you shared a good laugh. You sighed, “You must have been lonely.”

“In some ways, yes, I was. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t,” she relaxed back. “But I got used to it. And now that Seonghwa is no more… I feel like I’m all alone in this world. Thanks to Byeol and you, I’m not completely hopeless. And Seonghwa’s friends… they all make me forget about Seonghwa’s absence whenever they visit.”

You nodded- having them over really felt like Seonghwa was there too. You told her about their visit and how Hongjoong knocked some sense into you too. 

“Yunho’s my son too,” Seonghwa’s mother finally said when you stopped talking. “And if you two are really going to move forward together… I would be the happiest mother.”

—---------------

“Checkmate.”

“Checkmate to you,” Yunho knocked the very piece you had knocked Yunho’s with, making you gape.

“How!”

Yunho showed you just where you made the mistake. You only shook your head. “It’s your stupid luck that always makes you win. Seonghwa said you’re one lucky bastard.”

“He was right,” Yunho laughed, wrapping up the chessboard and pieces off the bed. “I always win.”

You folded your arms, your jaw tense. Yunho noticed that, snickering to himself. “You want to go again?”

“I’m good,” you huffed, straightening your legs and resting your back, not looking at him. Yunho decided it was a good time to poke your stomach and you jumped more because of the surprise, putting a hand over your mouth as you crawled to the opposite side of the bed.

“Yunho! Mother’s in the next room with Byeol, don’t make me shout at you!”

Yunho laughed, running a hand through his dark locks and you crossed your legs, glaring at him. “You want some snacks? I’m craving something.”

“Mom brought a box of chocolates, it’s in the kitchen.”

Yunho nodded, disappearing out of the room and you leaned back, resting your back against the bed, crossing your legs and smiling to yourself, wiping it immediately when you spotted Yunho coming back, realising that you must look lovesick smiling like that to yourself- but you had been doing that a lot.

“These are good,” Yunho tossed you two and you unwrapped one, popping it in your mouth. “I don’t need to save them for Byeol, do I?”

“She gets a separate box,” you rolled your eyes. “You’d think mother would get me a separate box too- she knows I love chocolates!”

“You’re not her priority anymore,” Yunho teased, sitting in front of you.

“I am no one’s priority, it seems,” you huffed.

Yunho watched you for a moment too long before he put his head in your lap and looked at you, upside down. “You’ve always been my first priority. You’re stupid if you don’t realise that.”

Your heart did a dangerous swoop and you put a chocolate in his mouth to shut him up, which he ate, grinning. You gave in, smiling and running your hands through his hair.

“Thank you, Yunho.”

“For what?” His eyes were shut, relaxed as you caressed his head.

“For being… you,” you laughed. “You know what I mean, right?”

“Uh… no. I don’t think I do. You mind telling me clearly? Just so I can memorise it properly?”

You slapped his cheek lightly, making him smirk harder. “It’s hard to put it in words, you just… you’re…”

So good to me. So lovable. My strength. 

You caressed Yunho’s cheek and he lay there so peacefully, in your lap. He fit right there, as if he was made to. Your heart longed for him even though he was so close to you. Words failed you, so you-

You leaned forward and kissed his lips, a short but sure one so he’d know what you meant without the words. 

When you drew back, his lips were parted and his eyes were still closed, as if he couldn’t believe what had just happened. For a moment, irrational fear gripped you-

“What are you thinking?” You whispered.

Yunho finally opened his eyes and looked at you- the gaze gripping you. “You know what you did, right?”

You nodded- if he needed any confirmation, you’d give him. You’d clear his doubts. So you pecked his lips again, still upside down. Yunho sighed and then he got up, turning and crawling so painfully slowly on top of you, his gaze pinning you down. He kissed your forehead first, lingering there as his hand cupped your face- so small in his hand. He looked at you each time he kissed your cheeks, a faint smile on his lips. 

“Can I kiss you?”

The fact that he asked, it broke your heart. You put your arms around his neck. “You never have to ask again, Yunho. I’m all yours.”

Yunho nodded as if he still couldn’t believe it, caressing your face so lovingly that it made you groan- the longing in his eyes… you couldn’t take it anymore. He finally kissed you then, and it wasn’t an innocent peck. It made you moan into it right away, made you hold him tighter, made him groan into it as well as he kissed you passionately, cupping your face with both his hands now, each kiss deeper than the previous one until you two broke apart, gasping not only because you were out of breath.

You wrapped yourself around him and he pulled you up so you were sitting in his lap and hugging him. He buried his nose in the crook of your neck, swaying you back and forth ever so slowly. He breathed once, and then he pecked your neck. You subconsciously tilted your neck, allowing him to draw your hair away and really kiss you on the neck like he had wanted to for so long, planting some everywhere until he found the one spot that made you shift in his hold, and he decided that was where he was going to keep kissing you until you were a mess and your breath hitched.

When you moaned his name, he pushed you back to bed again and kissed you, this time soft and so incredibly slow that it made your legs weak. You lay there, with only the strength to caress his hands that held you. 

“I’ve wanted to do this for the longest time,” he laughed a bit, kissing your cheek. “I’m sorry if it was too much-”

“No, it’s perfect, Yunho-” you bit your lips. “Keep going.”

His eyes flashed and he nodded, joining your lips again. The two of you fell in a rhythm, kissing like you two had all the time in the world, and at that moment, you really did. You soon shifted, making him lie down so you could get on top of him and return the favour. 

The two of you fell asleep planting lazy kisses on each other’s faces.

—--------------------

“Hello, Seonghwa.”

The cool breeze blew your hair to one side and you tucked them behind your ears, taking a deep breath. You smiled.

“I hope you’re still watching over me and Byeol. It’s been three years without you, but it feels like yesterday.”

You put the single red rose you had plucked from your garden earlier on his grave and stood back up, looking at the clear evening sky.

“I miss you everyday. I think about you everyday. I hope you don’t think I’ve forgotten you- I could never.”

You recalled the time Seonghwa and you had been on the hills right at the outskirts of the town. Seonghwa had been holding you in his arms, half lying down. The two of you were star-gazing. Seonghwa asked you what you would do if he ever died on a mission.

“First of all,” you got up and turned, slapping his arm, “Don’t stay stuff like that!”

“I’m just asking,” Seonghwa laughed, putting his hands in the air, surrendering. “I just… you know how it was a big decision for me to marry you and even be in a relationship with you in the first place. After looking at my mom’s life, I thought I would never do that to someone- never love and leave them hanging. But you, you just…”

“Yeah, am I to blame?” You teased, “I mean… it was the both of us. I knew what I was getting into when I said yes.” You stared at your wedding ring.

“So that’s why I’m asking,” Seonghwa put his hands on your waist and pulled you back in your original position, your head resting on his chest. “If something happened to me, what do you think you would do?”

“Let’s see… move on? I mean, three days of mourning are enough-”

“Can you stop teasing me?” Seonghwa laughed and you sighed, looking up at him. You cupped his face, tracing his cheekbone and taking in how lovely he looked illuminated by the moonlight.

“Do you think I could ever move on? After loving you? After knowing what it feels like to be loved by you? I would break. I would shatter into a million pieces, but yes, I would still have to be strong for you. I would put back all my pieces and glue them, but a broken thing remains broken even when it’s glued back.”

Seonghwa sighed, kissing you deeply and lingering as he drew back. “I wouldn’t want you to give up on life and love.”

“Well, what would you do if I died first?” You raised a brow. “Sure, you knock at death’s door everyday, but I could very well be the first one to die. What would you do?”

That made Seonghwa understand- he wasn’t sure if he could even glue himself back if he broke. Seonghwa nodded, hugging you. You rubbed his back. “I would also want you to move on, to live and love. That’s who we are, Seonghwa. To live and love again wouldn’t mean that our relationship meant nothing.”

How ironic it was that you, who said those words, forgot them altogether- or rather, forcefully shut them away. 

“I’m sorry for being someone you wish I wouldn’t be, for the past three years,” you stared at the rose that lay on the brown dust, a striking contrast. “And also… thank you for giving me Byeol. I don’t think I would be standing here, happy and healthy if it wasn’t for your one last gift.”

Seonghwa didn’t think it was practical to have a child in his field. He had seen so many examples- men leaving their children to their mothers and dying. The children broken, the wives helpless. Especially in this era, with the ever growing threat of war- he thought at least soldiers should be single. 

He didn’t realise how wrong he was, until he encountered you in the hills when some enemies were after him. You were plucking daisies with the most innocent look on your face, and his heart was beating louder than ever in fear that his enemies would take you instead of him if they saw you. So he took your hand and ran, the daisies dropping. The sound of arrows whooshing past you two shut you up when you shouted for help, realising that the man who was running with you wasn’t the threat but the saviour. 

You two hid behind a tree and Seonghwa feared that this would be the end- at least of him. He was defenceless. But you- you looked him in the eyes and knew immediately that you could trust him. You handed him the sharp knife you’d brought with yourself and he frowned- this wasn’t one to cut flowers or fruits.

“You never know what could happen in the forest,” you whispered, shrugging, and bent down to fist some dirt in your hands.

As soon as Seonghwa heard the men, he put himself in action- you were mesmerised by the way he moved. You threw the dirt on the man’s face who thought he got Seonghwa, saving him. In a matter of moments, the three men were dead.

Seonghwa swept his dark hair back and looked at you, shaking his head as he smiled. “Thank you- you saved my life.”

“I’m pretty sure you would have been okay without my help too,” you gulped as you looked at the bodies. “Can you take me back? I don’t know my way around here.”

That was the first time he met you. He searched for you around town for months, hoping to become your friend at least, and finally, he saw you one day in the market and gave you a bouquet of roses as a thank you gift. 

After marriage, it was Seonghwa who asked you if you wanted a child- you knew Seonghwa wasn’t a fan of having children with his job, but when he asked you, you were surprised.

“What changed?” You asked.

“Now that I have you, I finally understand why people have families. They have something to live for, something to fight for. Something to come back home for. And also… you’ll be less lonelier too, isn’t that right?”

You laughed, hugging Seonghwa. “I knew you’d change your mind one day, that’s why I didn’t insist on having children.”

“You know me well,” Seonghwa laughed, hugging you back. “So?”

You drew back, thinking, the smile on your face growing wider. You kissed him long and hard. “I’d be fine either way. It’s up to you.”

And if you ever thought Seonghwa would be an awkward parent, you were so wrong. For the two months that he was with his daughter, you found him to be a natural parent. He made it his life’s mission to not let you even frown or get tired or overwhelmed by the baby. You’d always laugh and ask him to give it a rest, but it was like he knew that he didn’t have much time with the baby.

Byeol was so loved, you realised. So blessed to have Seonghwa as her father. You prayed she’d grow up to be like Seonghwa too. Especially since Seonghwa’s last wish was something along those lines-

“My little star,” Seonghwa kissed Byeol’s forehead, “Don’t make mom too tired, okay? I know you’re going to be a patient and loving daughter. You’re going to be just like me.”

“Come on,” you teased Seonghwa, “Just like you?”

“Just like me,” he smiled and placed Byeol back on the bed, turning to you and spreading his arms. You wrapped your arms around his waist, listening to his heartbeat. He didn’t break the hug for the longest time, his face buried in your neck. 

You were the first to break your hug and you swept his hair back as you held his face, “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, it’s just…” he sighed. “I’m scared to go now that I have Byeol to worry about too.”

“You’re so brave, Seonghwa,” you straightened his collar, resting your hands on his chest. “You make Byeol and I proud every time you go to fight for your country- so that your wife and child, so that other mothers and childrens have a safe place to live in. You have nothing to be scared of.”

Seonghwa nodded. “You always know the right thing to say.”

You only smiled, the two of you leaning forward for a kiss- Seonghwa took his time kissing you, and if you had known that was the last time he was going to kiss you, you would have never let him go.

You came back from memory lane, taking a deep breath. “This is the first time I’ve come with Yunho. He loves me, Seonghwa. He loves Byeol like you loved her. And I… I’m doing what you told me to. I’m alive again, Seonghwa.”

You wiped the tears that threatened to roll down your face. You looked back, where Yunho and Byeol waited for you and you motioned them to come. Yunho picked Byeol in her arms and stood by your side. 

“Look at Byeol- how loved she is. You have nothing to worry about, Seonghwa,” you smiled. 

Yunho handed Byeol to you and you were about to give him some space as well but he held your hand, urging you to stay. He sat down beside the grave, rubbing the mud of his grave.

“I’m sorry for blaming myself all these years,” Yunho began, “I know you told me that it’s not my fault, but I know you would have been the same if it was me in your place.”

You sighed internally- Yunho really had it hard, just like you. Yunho placed the pebbles that he held in his hand around the roses.

“We’re soldiers. We live short, meaningful lives- and if we’re lucky, we live long. You lived so well, Seonghwa. I admired you for having the courage to start a family. Then I kind of hated you for leaving them so broken- but now… now that I’ve known the joy of a family… I admire you even more.”

He got up, putting an arm around your shoulders. “I loved Byeol the moment I saw her. I hope I can be a father she can be proud of, and I’ll make sure she’s also proud of you. I’ll tell her about your life, and hope she can get to know who her father really was. And I…”

Yunho looked at you, smiling. “I don’t know when it happened, but I fell in love with her too. I hope we can heal each other and be each other’s comfort for as long as we live. I hope you’ll be proud of us, Seonghwa.”

You smiled back, leaning into him. 

—-----------------

It felt like you were a little teen who was dating again.

It felt stupid- that you cared so much about how you looked, that you blushed again. It was bittersweet, this feeling of getting to know someone more with each passing day and falling deeper in love. Of being anxious- did he love you back? Did he love you like you did?

You never thought you’d be happy again, but you were. Sometimes you got scared- if something happened to Yunho, you wouldn’t make it this time, you didn’t care whether you had a daughter to worry about too. Of course after what happened with Seonghwa, you couldn’t possibly heal if you lost Yunho too. So you only prayed for one thing- to live a long, happy and healthy life with Yunho. 

Yunho was… handsome in every way- in his appearance, in his manners, in the way he talked, the way he laughed. He was heartwarming, a ball of sunshine in your life. Where Seonghwa had been like loving the moon, Yunho was like loving the sun. He made you love things that you once hated, and you couldn’t believe how he did that.

Yunho was someone you hugged more and couldn’t get enough of it. His hugs made you feel safe and warm. His kisses made you feel loved and beautiful. His touch made you feel hopeful.

You wondered if this was fate’s play- what a mysterious thing it was that you were meant to love Seonghwa and Yunho. Everything felt right with Seonghwa, and everything felt right with Yunho too.

“Tell me what you’re thinking,” Yunho, who held you in his arms in front of the fireplace, whispered in your ear, trailing kisses down your neck.

“If I told you,” you said, smirking, “I’m not sure if you’d blush and leave or take me right here.”

Good thing Byeol went to stay with her grandmother- your grandmother insisted you two needed some time alone now that you were finally moving on and oh, she was right. Byeol was big enough to stay with her grandmother- she loved it there because she had friends her age too, and her grandmother was ‘more fun than mom and dad combined’ according to Byeol. 

“You wanna bet on it?” Yunho challenged, tilting your chin so he could lock eyes with you. You swooned at how hot his gaze was. “What, exactly, are you thinking, my love?”

“Let’s see,” you sighed. “I’m thinking about this,” you kissed the edge of his lips. “And this,” you got on top of him, straddling him and kissing his lips briefly but surely. “And this,” you rolled your hips over him, making him groan. “What do you think?”

Yunho chuckled, shaking his head. “I can’t imagine you doing this if Byeol would have been home-”

“There you go. You lost the bet,” you grinned. “You always try to distract me when you feel shy. It’s not gonna work tonight, Jeong Yunho.”

Yunho only did that because he needed a moment. And then he tucked your hair behind your ears, his large hands cupping your face as he kissed you like his entire being urged him to, with a force that made you arch back and back until you were on the floor, and he, on top of you. Where he belonged.

“Should we take this to bed, or is this more thrilling?” Yunho whispered, not even waiting for a response as he started trailing kisses down your neck and unbuttoning whatever prevented him from being skin on skin.

“I’m good,” you moaned, helping him out and then kissing him again. “I’m all yours.”

[followmetoyourdoom]

I have now watched Megamind Rules! and have been pleasantly surprised...

I usually do my reviews as a good first bad last but since there's so little bad, let's start with that this time.

Megamind and Roxanne's relationship and the insistence on friends grates a little, it's not the worst thing in the world, but I could use some more soft looks or touches, they were dating! They saved the city together! That counts for something!

Only other negative thing is that ep1 has some of the lack luster writing from the new film and goes hard on the 'oh look an older generation all person who doesn't know tech' when Megamind is a technical genius. Him not knowing the internet? Sure fine though they're supposed to be buying their Tesla coils and blinky dials from a warehouse in Romania, how if not online? But the insistence at him not knowing what a TV is when he has a bunch in his lair as monitors, idk, didn't like that aspect.

Now then for the good.

The quips are really on it, the writing once it settles into 'this is the scenario we have' is really enjoyable and compelling. Machiavillian is so good, the whole game being an elaborate set up was such good writing. Bringing back the Binkey, as a source of power, yes please. Megamind's backstory being that he accidentally killed him? Excellent, love that for the blue idiot, very in character.

Speaking of Megamind being in character, oh my god was he. He was amazingly chaotic and insane and a nice mixture of genius and incompetent. The body swap ep with him running the city was astounding. Hats off to the new voice actors, they really managed to let you know that this was Megamind looking like Roxanne and Roxanne looking like Megamind.

Roxanne came into her own, I'm not happy with *how* they got to her being the mayor, but she is killing it in the role she's been handed. Her dealing with Megamind and Christina bickering is an excellent call back to her having to deal with Megamind and Metro Man quipping back and forth. The cake baking scene was hilarious. I do wish she had been involved more in the investigation side of things, and I do wonder if that's why they gave her the role as mayor, so there's an excuse for her being so busy and no longer a nosy reporter. So that a certain someone else can share the spotlight.

Speaking of that certain someone, Keiko started to grow on me as her push for social media eased off and she became more of an apprentice and a member of the team. I think having a kid who looks up to Megamind but who isn't perfect and struggles to find her place in the world fits in really well with the rest of the cast. Just, let her be that rather than an annoying social media star.

Minion is perfect and has never done anything wrong ever. Except change his name, but we're ignoring that. (Though more on that later).

The Doom Syndicate in this was very good as their antics were more background or focused to one or two eps, it let them breathe as characters and showed them being competent at times, and useless at others. An excellent balance for Megamind's old team.

Overall, when the writers were saying 'this is the story we've been wanting to tell for a long long time' and I saw the film I went 'no, surely not, surely this isn't the story that has been swimming around in your head for 15 years' and it's bc it's not. It is very clearly the build up to ep8 that is the focus. The big show down, the big game across the city, the gaslighting the entire city into believing that Megamind has returned to villainy, that excellent and compelling writing is the core of Megamind and is exactly what I was hoping for. I just wish they had had more time to think about exactly how they wanted to get there instead of crowbarring it in.

To me, they shouldn't have started with a film, they should have done a star wars style summary of this is where we're at now along the lines of "After a long life of villainy, Megamind is now the hero of Metro City. After two long days hard at work as this new hero, Megamind's old team, the Doom Syndicate returns... With the city in chaos, Roxanne takes a step away from the TV camera to the Metro City white house to become the new mayor, while a young internet savvy tween called Keiko joins Megamind's team in the hopes of becoming a superhero herself one day. We return as Megamind is, once again, getting his blue butt kicked." And then cut to the end of the film and have that as ep 1.

No nonsense with Minion leaving, again, or if he does, have it be over something new! Maybe include the name change but in a compelling way such as.

Mn: Sir, I've been thinking-

MM: Now now Minion, I do the thinking around here

Mn: I know Sir, you're very good at it Sir. But I- I don't think I want to be called Minion anymore...

MM: Don't want- but... That was the name my mother gave you, your name is one of the few things we have left from home...

Mn: ...I know, Sir, but, I don't want to be just a minion anymore- I'm not just a minion anymore! I'm your friend! I've been thinking about this long and hard and-

MM: well clearly you haven't thought long enough!!! How could you throw away your name like that? If mother had given me a name I...

Mn: I'm sorry Sir, I don't want to throw away such a gift. It just doesn't suit me anymore...

MM: well... Well, maybe, maybe we don't suit each other right now...

Mn: Okay Sir, I'll give you time to think about it.

And then have him working in the donut shop, and hey maybe the donut guy has called him Buddy. Have Roxanne talk to Megamind about how names define who we are and if he wants a new name, he should be able to pick out a new name. Make it a queer analogy! Have Megamind realise his mistake and talk to Minion about it, like:

MM: Mi- hello, old friend.

Mn: Previous Sir!

MM: Previous- oh, oh I see.

Mr Donut: Hey Buddy! Nice to see you settling in.

MM: Buddy?

Mn: My new name... It's not... Ideal, but I'm trying it out.

MM: Oh. Well. I'll leave you to try out new names then...

Mn: Sir, wait! You didn't let me finish what I wanted to say earlier. I don't want just any new name, I'm asking you to give me a new name, a name I can be proud of! If the name comes from you, doesn't that still come from home?

MM: I... I suppose it does old friend! No! Ol'Chum. Do you like that name? Chum?

Mn: it's perfect!

And like then it has sentimental value, Minion leaving has a point! It has new character growth! It's about growing and learning and changing and adapting and how sometimes you have to let the past go, no matter how sentimental it may be, to move on to the future. I might write this fic.

Anyway! I got very off track. My point is that, the end result of the new Megamind stuff is amazing, I love it, and I am excited to see where they go to next and for the love of everything - Dreamworks, give the team more money and more time! The next installment should be a new movie, now is the time for a proper movie budget, the set up is there now!

[diorzs]

hello! idk if you’re currently taking requests but if you are can i request a scenario where you’re watching horror movies with gon and killua?

# SLEEPOVER

pairing(s) — platonic!gon & killua x reader

genre(s) — fluff

cw. nothing

masterlist. note : modern au ! this is also definitely not the best, i’m exhausted writing this.

“STOP CHASING ME! SOMEONE HELP!” i exclaimed, running around holding a pan filled with chocolate brownies. “GUYS YOU’RE NOT GOING TO GET ANY BROWNIES IF YOU KEEP CHASING ME!” as i said that, they immediately paused in their tracks. i scoffed, and grabbed a knife from a cupboard then cut the brownies in square pieces. “now you guys can have some!” i smiled, pushing the tray to where they were seated.

“thank you (y/n)!” gon said with a mouthful of brownies in his mouth, and gave me a thumbs up. “yeah thanks!” killua added, i scoffed playfully at the half-hearted ‘thank you’, but took it nontheless. “yeah im taking these inside kil’s room before his brother devours these,” i muttered, taking the remaining brownies and putting them in a bowl, and walking towards the albino’s room.

“wait for us!” the duo said together, following me towards killua’s room. i laughed at them before practically kicking the door down and entering his room. i gently placed the plate of chocolate goodies on a table kil had in his room, and plopped onto the navy blue sofa that adorned the cream colored room. just then, a loud ‘thump’ came from either side of me.

“so…” i started, glancing at the two i was squished in between. “what do you guys want to watch?” gon continued for me as i glanced at the tv mounted on the wall and then at the remote beside the brownies. i looked at the albino sitting beside me for a split second before quickly grabbing the remote before he could. “HEY! I WAS GOING TO GRAB THAT!” i scoffed playfully at killua’s childish nature, before i responded, “we should watch a horror movie!” with a grin on my face. “ABSOLUTELY NO-”

after a lecture from killua’s older brother, illumi, and a fight between me and kil, we’ve decided to watch the horror movie. “i hate you.” i laughed as i heard him say that, and started the movie without hesitation. “c’mon killua! i’m sure it won’t be that bad! besides, what’s a sleepover without a horror movie?” gon commented, snickering as he noticed kil’s horrified expression, before he turned to the tv.

“WHAT. WAS. THAT??” the albino screamed into my arm, turning away from the giant clown that appeared on the tv. i laughed out loud, turned away from killua’s angry face, and chortled loudly into gon’s shoulder. “YOU- YOUR FACE!” i shouted, pointing at kil. before i knew it, the whitette chucked a pillow at me. “NO YOU DID NOT.” i screamed, throwing a pillow back at him.

“that…that was fun.” i say, my chest heaving up and down from the exercise i just received from a pillow fight. “i completely destroyed you two.” gon says, and i can practically hear his smug smile. i scoffed, “absolutely not! i was 100% beating the both of you.” the voice of the albino rings in my ears. i feel my eyes shutting ever so slightly as i try to stay awake, yet i can’t help but feel exhausted.

i can hear the two bickering in the background as i softly ask, “guys im ready to fall asleep, can one of you grab my sleeping bag?” the voices stop before i hear small whispering. before i can ask what they’re talking about, i feel myself being lifted. “what are you guys doing? i just wanted my sleeping bag.” i slowly open one eye, and as i do, i’m plopped down and laying on killua’s bed.

i’m slowly falling deeper into a sleep-like state when i barely feel a blanket cover me. “goodnight (y/n).” i smile softly at the two boys wishing me goodnight. “goodnight, this sleepover was really fun.”

posted — 8 / 9 / 22

© diorzs all rights reserved 2022

[the-dendrophile-bookdragon]

hi there! I recently read the illustrated bool based off 2015’s cinderella and it made me miss kit so much! anyways, in the book, they said that cinderella was stuck in that room for a few days if I’m not mistaken. so I was wondering if you’d write hcs or something about reader being in cinderella and after they see the shoe fits, kit gets all more protective once the captain tells him how long she told him she was left there with no water/food. idk, I just think he’d lose his shit even more and it’d make some really angsty hcs. that is, if you are up for it.

A/N: No problem, love. Hope you like it. Haven't written angst in a long time.

Fragile

Pairing: Prince Kit x female!reader Warning: angst with a happy end, locking someone up, abusive stepmother

“Please no! Please don’t do it! I won’t say a thing. I will hide if you want. I won’t be in your way. But please don’t trap me. Don’t lock me in my room.” You cried, begged and bargained with your stepmother. But everything fell on deaf ears.

She pulled you on your arm up to the attic. With a harsh push she threw you into the room. “Don’t make any noises or you won’t leave this room. You don’t want to ruin one of your sister’s futures.” You whimpered as she shut the door harshly and locked it.

You crawled over and hammered your fist onto it. “Let me out!” you shouted for a long time. Your throat scratching and hurting. You laid on the floor silently crying and hugging yourself. You wished someone would come and rescue you.

Your wish came true in form of the prince himself. You sat up abruptly. You felt dizzy but it didn’t matter to you. Kit was here. Or where you so exhausted you fell into a cruel dream. Only when Kit touched you were you curtained he was real and here.

You let out a small whimper as he helped you up and over to the old sofa. He held out the other shoe you lost at the ball. “May I?” You nodded shyly at him before lifting the hem of your dress. The shoe slit on perfectly. Kit shot a charming smile up at you which you retorted with a shy one. “I knew it.” He slipped the glass shoe off and replaced it with your worn out one.

He stood up from the floor and reached out to you. You took his hand hesitantly. He had to steady you a bit as your knees nearly gave out from a mix of relief and exhaustion. You walked down the stairs carefully. Kit had a strong and steady grip on your waste. You felt safe like at the ball were you danced together.

Your stepmother waited at the foot of the stairs. She had a fake happy smile on her face. “Oh my dear, I forgot about you. I am so sorry.” The captain stepped in front of you while Kit pulled you softly behind him. He slightly stepped around his guard, still touching you as to show you he won’t leave you. “I don’t think this was an accident. Or do you lock your other daughters into a room?”

He paid no mind to the cruel women tormenting you for the majority of your youth. He softly pushed you to the front door. You never looked back again. Leaving your father’s house, your old house, your good and bad memories to make new ones with the man you dreamed about so often.

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[cutepastelstarsalior]

Hazbin hotel review part 2

Episode 5

Ok, before I start the episode I want to say, when these episode first came out I saw the YouTuber Sarcastic Chorus made a video about episode 5-6. And he brings up a lot of good points. From the fast paced, to the telling us info rather then showing, to Charlie’s apparent Daddy Issues, the issues about Alastor’s appearance in show wise vs audience wise.

I know Hazbin only had 8 episodes and it only has 1 season. Idk if they will have a season 2, but the way this show is handling storylines and time lines is really bad. Like in episode 3, the story of Sir Pen (snake guy) being a spy for the Vees. That could have been so interesting! But because of time, that “plot” was immediately revealed and rushed. Sir Pen being a spy has no impact on the show. Not to the characters or to the story. Sure they had that “I’m sorry song” and Angel distrusting Pen for a bit, but besides that?? That whole plot could have been removed and the writer could have Pen be actually wanting to be redeemed. Pen not trusting the others is fine, but it also doesn’t matter??? Story wise. We can’t tell if everyone actually hates him because of the reveal or because they just assholes.

Eghhh, haven’t even seen the episode and I’m already rambling. Ok, let’s go.

“He (Lucifer) led the extermination happen to beginning in the first place) no?????? Charlie what the heck are you talking about???? All Lucifer did was fall in love with Lillian and gave Eve the apple. HEAVEN was the once that decided to kill sinners??

“That’s it, Almost there” SIR, SIR, DONT DO THAT. God my heart just skip a beat….😳🫣

God the way the characters with shouldpad look from behind….little twig arms coming out of nowhere..

Circus music yippie!!!!

“Hey bitch” IF X WAS WRITTEN BY VIZIEPOP. Like who father actually called their daughter/kid a bitch; like casually. Like yeah my dad called me a bitch when he’s angry at me? But never casually???

“Take that depression” ok, that got a little laugh out of me.

Lucifer is tiny….call that transmac swag.

Why is Alastor immediately starts to fight Lucifer??? Like Alastor, that like you’re freaking GOD of hell???? You literally king????

Vaggie and Charlie are girlfriends?????? You they do NOT act like it. :/ kind of wish it was a slow burn romance? I feel like that would work so much better.

Lucifer called Vaggie, Maggie. That like so much better then her actual name???? Wish it was her real name 😫😔

Alastor think of Charlie as his daughter. Yeah that’s total bullahit. They literally never interact with each other outside the pilot?? Sure as hell don’t do much for the hotel, again, outside the pilot…

“Someone also on a leash” and the whole husk on a leash thing? I don’t care. I literally DONT care. ~oooohh scary alastor and a glowing leash ooohhh~ 😒🙄

“He’s defending the hotel. He’s doing it for me.” No the fuck he’s not????? He literally said he’s doing it to show why people shouldn’t mess with the radio demon.

I don’t care about Mizzy. She’s kind of boring.

Ejemsnwiwnsejwndjsissnw Jeremy and his sing voice…I love you ❤️

Love the song, but just like YouTuber Sarcastic Chorus said in his video, this song and Charlie and her dad reconnect, it doesn’t feel earned. This is literally episode 5. Where TOLD Charlie has daddy issues, but never shown. Why don’t Lucifer not reconnect sooner? It seem like nothing was physically stopping him? Was it because of his depression? Was it Lilith? There too many things happen and not enough time or character grown or developed to have THIS big moment. It feels rushed.

Score 1-5, I give it a 2.

Episode 6

6 episodes and this is the first time Charlie and Vaggie kiss. Yay/sarcasm.

CHERRY AUSTRALIAN NOW?????

I still don’t know how to feel about Lucifer being still Abel to contact/portal to heaven. I feel like she shouldn’t have that ability.

Why. Are angels cursing??? Is this allowed??? I feel like that shouldn’t….

THATS SAINT PETER???????

Emily is a Seraphim. God I love Seraphim <3 they are SO cool. Also wow is this girl literally like Charlie…

Peter is a twink/j

HES MINE NOW. YOINK. my oc now. Gonna make him a French human ballerina + ice skater who has a model boyfriend. <3.

Her name is vagina…..why the hell would you keep that name Vaggie. Ehhh gross.

V being an angel, it really surprising. But she getting her eye and wings IMMEDIATELY after sparing a child????? It’s stupid. Like, head that Lute person is cruel but to immediately cut her eye and wings off and leave her in hell???? Aren’t you guys like, scare of heaven. Don’t you think leaving an angel in hell could like, I don’t know, backfire???? V could have betrayed you and immediately go to Lucifer or something. She could have gotten kidnapped and tourter for information???

Also V having Ichor blood <3

Why does Adam know who Angel Dust is? Didn’t Charlie mentioned him during their meeting before? I forgot if she did…

Oh my god this episode is SO long…

“It thought you were better than that” BOOO TOMATO 🍅🍅🍅🍅 BOOOO YOU DID NOT YOU LITERALLY CALLED ANGEL A LOSER 2 episodes ago??? Literally had a song about being at the bottom together????

Again. Weird that Adam and angels can curse. Weird how the Seraphim aren’t stopping it. Aren’t they more powerful than Adam???

😬😬😬 Niffty being drunk scene. I got major Infantilization vibes. It’s bad when people on TikTok say this scene is like Angel and Husk are Niffty’s dads or older brothers. Like yeah, people can be lightweights or cry when drunk, but the way this is handled??? Idk. Some people on TikTok also said Niffty age regression, and hmmm. I don’t think age regression can be influenced by alcohol..

WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY DONT KNOW WHAT GETS PEOPLE INTO HEAVEN?? HELLO THE 10 COMMANDMENTS?????

Sarah knows about the extermination. Others angels and non-sinners don’t. Emily is to keep the peace. Sara didn’t want Emily to keep asking questions or she can call like Lucifer…..Then why did Emily have the same ideas and views and Charlie before meeting her? How does she know about sinners?? What made her have these thoughts??

Score 1-5. I give it a 2,5.

Episode 7

Vaggie calls the hotel her home. Cute.

Charlie angry at Vaggies secret of being a angel. They known each other for 3 years. Charlie tells Vaggie everything Idk why, but it felt like Charlie is putting her own needs before Vaggies? Like yeah she’s knows know that vaggie is an angel and part of the extermination but she never killed anyone? Idk I feel like Charlie isn’t looking at Vaggies POV?

Rose is ok. I like the way she’s talks! She definitely one of those character that makes the episode more better/entertaining.

If the pilot is canon to the story then CHARLIE WHY THE HELL DID YOU MAKE A DEAL?? YOU KNOW THAT YOU SHOULDNT HAVE?? DIDNT YOU ASK ALSTOR TO HELP IN THE PILOT??? HIM TELLING YOU INFO FALLS UNDER THE HELPING CATEGORY???

Rosie saying Charlie has moxie….i guess? Idk I don’t really see it.

Oh god alastor and Rosie saying Charlie is like their daughter….that Rosie is Lilith theory might be true…

“I had faith in her” or whatever the quote was, bullshit. Alastor join because he wanted to watch Charlie fail/was bored. Oh, yeah he totally beloved her and he totally wanted to use her power or whatever. 🙄

The vaggie and Camille scene was fine. Kind of weird that Camille is so chill about Vaggie being an angel and training/fighting with her, even though she literally killed an angel to protect her daughters. Didn’t like the song, I literally muted it.

Husk, Angel, Nifty, and Sir Pent fortify the hotel. That caught me off guard:

Score 1-4, I give it a 2.5.

Episode 8

Last episode baby!!!!!

Christ.

Sir pen dies. :/ bummer

Alastor and Adam fight!!! ADAM WAS WEARING A MASK?????

Vaggie I don’t think you sparing Lute is good. Like she gonna kill you. Vaggie kill her.

The fight scenes are ok.

Adam died, thank god.

Then rebuilding the hotel is ok? I don’t know what to think of it? The Vees being happy about this is??? Why???? Also for Alastor, him trying to find a back door on his deal. I guess he was hoping if he killed Adam, then he could be free from being a sinner??

Nifty killing Adam, neat.

Also Pen getting redemption and being an angel now! Good for him.

Wait, wait WHY is Lilith in Heaven???

For this ending. It’s VERY rushed, plot wise. It’s just one battle and BAM everything is ok. Kind of. Will they get a season 2? I hope not. This first season is rough, mediocre.

Score 1-5. I give it a 4

[fcknstar]

,, what i need to do "

harryosborn x gen!reader

a.n : uhhh uhhhh uhh idk how to feel abt this lmaooo

warnings : idk how to uhh specify, jealousy

**lowercase intended**

looking at photographs of you thats pasted around his dorm room, harry couldnt help but sigh. hed broken up with you just due to long distance and couldn't bear knowing how youd stay up late at night to call him, how worried youd be if he doesnt reply on time ; not that you needed him to reply straight away, but at least needed answer within a day or so so youd know hes safe. harry didnt want to carry the burden of making you facing such conditions just for him. this led him to make choices he wished didnt force him.

after breaking up, there was a mutual agreement between you two that it was fine if either of you started talking to someone else, or even start dating. harry swore that his heart wont start swelling at the thought of you at someones side. you looking at another guy the way you used to. the kind of dress you wore for him. whether hes holding onto you so tight.

so, why did it hurt and stun harry after watching your recent instagram story thats filled with pictures of you and another guy. surely you two were just friends, he reassured himself. he had to wait just a few more months to be out of this hellhole and see you, even if it meant as friends.

harry wouldn't admit it ever, but he was sure he was getting obsessed with the idea of you loving him all over again, tryinv his best to relive the moments you shared with him. and he wanted it, even if it meant hurting you and the people around you. he had wrapped his heart around you so tight like an elastic band that if he tried to let go, it would be difficult for him to embed his soul to one like how he had previously embedded his soul into yours.

after finally reaching new york, he realized how there was a new superhero in town who goes by the name of ‘ spiderman ‘ and god oh god does he give people hope. he wished spiderman was there to give him the same hope he gave others. he hoped and prayed to the stars that you and that guy had nothing serious. he really didnt want to but it was as if his heart pulled him, and his legs led him back to your apartment, it being a regular thing where hed come over with a snack, a drink or even a meal to make sure you werent starving.

lifting his fist and landing it on your door, you opened the door not even a second after he had knocked once.

“ oh god- harry? oh my god! “ you looked even more pretty in person, you had really nice layers which shaped your face well, you had a more elegant style then you had the last time he saw you. jumping into his arms, he caught you like a feather.

“ oh god ive missed you- so so much! why didnt you tell me that you were coming back? “ you whispered. its been such a long time youve seen harry. by the looks of it, he had ditched that gel and let his hair roam free. his hair wasnt totally parted by the side, probably in between side and middle parting. he looks the same with sharper features which suited him. it was as if you were looking at an old picture of him.

“ hi (name). ive missed you too. sorry i came here unannounced-”

“ (name) ? who is this? “ a curious voice broke the comfortable yet needed silence that had to sail the boat gently. it was the same guy he saw on your story.

releasing you from his grasp, harry stood at the side as he felt like an intruder.

“ oh theo, this is the guy live been telling you about, harry. “ you offered a smile, walking up towards him while bringing harry to theo.

you told theo about harry? was it good things that shaped the guy he was, like how he was rich and was the son of a ceo who owned a big company, how he was arrogant but liked to spend money like water on whoever? or was it bad things that left you up at night crying, like how hed left you and broke up with you with a pathetic excuse.

" nice to meet you harry! " theo offered a hand to harry and harry accepted out of unwillingness.

harry became bitter instantly but forced a tight smile which you easily recognized. your smile dropping as soon as you realized what was happening.

" you too. i should get going, dont want to.. uh interrupt you guys. " harry was about to walk away when theo suggested that-

" harry can join us for lunch, right (name)? " you didnt want to make it seem like you hated harry all of the sudden but agreed. you knew how harry would act around new guys you met and didnt want it to repeat because you thought that had something good that you ware able to keep for a while.

harry looked pleased with your answer and followed you and theo to the cafe down the block. you and harry caught up with theo who seemed like he was enjoying the interaction you both had. theo was there when harry broke up with you and comforted you throughout, while not picking sides because he knew better. and you loved theo for that. although you still had feelings for harry the same way he still had feelings for you, you didnt want to ruin the spark you felt with theo. you saw harry in theo but less of a rich city boy. theo was hardworking due to growing in a poor family but persevereed until he found himself at a well paying job that allowed him to treat you whenever without forgetting to send money to his very own family. harry on the other hand was hardworking despite growing up in a rich family and was able to have everything he wanted. but having no one to be around for him or even get him gifts he found interests in, he would spend his money spending time with you and even buy you gifts hed know youd definitely like. you just didnt know who to choose, the two boys had great qualities but would be unfair to theo considering he may start seeing you as someone who values money more than love even though you pushed theos offers of getting you something.

" ill go pay first, you two talk or something. " you sighed contently after eating you desert.

both boys nodding at your instruction.

" so.. (name).. you like her? " harry smiled welcomingly, his calm expression masking his jealousy.

" you like her dont you? " a tinge of jealousy breaking through his question and his eyebrow rose.

" woah no i dont, i have well moved on, theo. i was just asking because im curious. besides you two look like a good pair dont you think? " harry laughed while turning around to have a glance at you, where you waited patiently to get in the front of the line.

" i don't know.. i dont want it to be a one person thing you know? im afraid that she cant let go of the past or something. " theo sent a sad smile. harry took it to his advantage.

" well, she is hot. not only that but shes like the definition of heaven on earth, shes kind and sweet. we compliment each other and it was really thoughtful that you were here for her when i werent. youve done.. a good job. but i can do better. "

theo was speechless, he didnt know what to think and had his mouth apart slightly. his eyes darkening before smiling innocently.

when you came back, you noticed theo frozen in his thoughts, trapped in his own world.

" theo, you alright? " you were going to place a hand on his shoulder to shake him but harrys voice stopped you, his eyes focused on you hand which neared theos shoulder.

" hes alright. we were just talking and he remembered that he needed to meet him mother urgently, but he didnt know how to break the news to you. " harry pouted, eyes glaring at theo.

" oh right yea- "

" what? i thought you said that today was the only free day you had? and that your mom was going to your grandmas? " your shoulders slumped.

" yea but my mom needs me and you know i cant deny her. ill make it up to you! " theos last statement made harry snap his neck towards him. it was obvious that harry was starting to get angry, but tried to calm himself down when he tried to conclude theos next move.

theo then scrambled to find his wallet, pulling a couple of bucks to repay you. before you could even answer, theo dashed out of the cafe leaving you and harry alone. alone at last.

[merchantarthurn]

all i have to say about the miraculous special aside from incoherent happy noises is that it's exactly like every fanfic i hold dear in that it felt so self-indulgent when it came to fun "what-if" scenarios and also really hit on like. actual fun character beats (okay turns out i have things to say, so here's a spoilery read more)

starting immediately with the alt theme song with gabriel was so inspired i had to immediately pause and lose my mind.

gabriel as a significantly better dude who is just failing to connect with his son during their very different grieving periods is legit so much more interesting than i expected from a "character morality flip" moment

alya and nino being still on the resistance team fills me with a lot of delight for so many reasons - character related, but also for the alt-universe actually not being a 'everyone is a different alignment' universe. the overall universe and characters perceptions of themselves or how they dealt with their grief is clearly completely altered for the ones we see changed. like... gabriel seems to have started off in a similar spot but the specifics of the universe meant he changed teams for the better. emilie seemingly dying much more suddenly and the general turmoil of the universe (and presumably not going to school with the other kids?) leading adrien to not process his grief in the same way. marinette never meeting alya and not finding the courage to stand up for herself without threats and power. damn...

betterfly is a stupid name and i love that. just remember that his name is just "butterfly" and not "hawkmoth" in french okay.

shadybug is also very silly but it's a pretty perfect alternative for 'toxinelle' and also so funny

the only knock i will give the episode is she changed her hairstyle at the end. shadybug's whole look was 10/10, she could have just shifted the colour scheme for the friendly vibe. i also think chat should have kept the green hair and maybe just gone with green eyes.

on cool outfits: the butterfly + ladybug combo looked gorgeous imo i will not argue on this

i was not expecting the episode to make me feel things but it was genuinely very sweet how both AU-duos got a mutual pep-talk. like this was a perfect time in s5 for it to be set - marinette's still struggling to find belief in herself and adrien is freaked out about what his power could do to someone, and his own self-control about that. and their chats with their alternate selves help them settle something (at least for now) in addition to helping the other!! their AU selves definitely have more to deal with given.. everything, but that's for another time im sure >:) i really do like that despite their Attitude they are just treated like kids with problems y'know? honestly i wish adrien had longer to talk about his grief cos i think that's a really valuable bit of telly for young'uns who've lost a parent y'know?

there's some #Logic you could do about identity reveals but honestly i do not care, because an actual fanfic where they're like "hey butterfly man if you told us who you were we could stop monarch way faster" and that resulting in some good!gabriel and chat/adrien chatting with him knowing who hawkmoth is like... ARGH. imagine. i feel like there's so many reasons he wouldn't want to expose his identity even to allies and we didn't need a scene where that was explained and i'll fight anyone who insists it's a ~cinema sins plothole ding~ that it didn't happen. if it's not in the show you get to fanfic it in many flavours. this is a WIN actually.

generally ive been so happy with season 5 and this just. ah. idk i was just very happy the entire time. im sure there'll be a lotta folks bemoaning this that and the other and that's fine! please have fun doing that cos i know people do but man mlb is to me my fun baby show for babies but season 5 feels like it went "what if this show was everything you already loved AND it gave you catharsis on like 30 different things on a show you've been watching since episode 4"

[leovoid]

Hello. I was wondering if you read Naoki Urasawa's "Another Monster". If so, I had a question and I thought an analyst like you could give me your opinion about this.

So very little is stated about Kenzo's family in Another Monster. Let alone the mother.

Tenma's old friend said that it appeared as if Tenma was trying to isolate himself from his father and brothers, but what about his mom? It was said that she was harsh on him and favored her step-sons instead of her own flesh and blood, Kenzo, for no apparent reason. I don't get it. As a stepmother usually one would think they'd favor the child they gave birth to, so why would she so harsh on him and adamant to get rid of him? I know there's no definitive answer for this, but I would like to know people's theories about this. A theory I heard from someone else is that Kenzo might've been "too clingy to mommy", and another one said Kenzo reminded the mother about her ex-husband, but that kinda doesn't make sense because wouldn't the other siblings remind her of the father as well?

Let me know your thoughts, pleaseee

Thank you for the ask and I hope you're having a good day so far ^^ While I did read Another Monster, Its unfortunate to say that I can't really give you a satisfactory answer to the question due to the extremely limited information we have in regards to this. Kenzos mother preferring the stepsons over him for no apparent reason is all the details given to us, but I suppose I could theory craft here and try to rationalize the reasons... At the risk of sounding as if I advocate her behaviors, I believe it was due to how distant Tenma was towards not just his peers but his own family as well "Throughout his life in Japan he made very few friends and didn't forge strong bonds even with his own family, which is one of the reasons given by Dr. Takahashi to explain why Tenma came to Germany and never went back." - Monster Wikia As a child Tenma always stood out for being extremely bright and this caused his father to take deep pride in him, dedicating his hospital to soon be inherited by Tenma once he grows of age. I can only assume that due to this, a lot of attention from Tenmas father was soley on him and not the rest of his offsprings. Due to this I can only imagine that Tenmas mother had very little time to bond with Tenma due to the fathers infatuation of his talent. As such, this lead Tenmas brothers to be shunned and ignored, leaving the mother to be the only one relied on by her step sons while she could have felt Tenma had no need for her since her husband is so hyper-fixated on him. Because of this, I would believe there was a wedge between Tenma and his mother because of how little she has had an influence on his growth and their relationship as mother and son. Adding on to this, it doesn't help that Tenma is so disconnected from everyone purely by choice. Whatever his reasonings are, are factors that were not shown to us but thats another rabbit hole to go through It could just be his mother was a jealous bitch or something idk? LOL It could also be because Tenma for his entire life felt the expectations placed on his shoulders to be unfair and overbearing to what he actually strives to do in his life. It was mentioned that Tenma stood up against a teacher to defend a punishment taken too far by a fellow student, so I can only imagine that Tenma has an opinion of his own as to what injustices are. In an act of rebellion he went to Germany ON A WHIM, and worked in Eisler Memorial hospital where he wished to conduct his research on Alzheimers dementia. Now if we take a look at Monster the series, its clear that this research he dedicated his life to was thrown away from a motivation and purpose he set for himself when he saved Johan. To save all the lives he could, no matter who they are. I believe Tenma up to that point was operating in a rebellious phase towards the expectations put towards him by his father, where the first thing he heard was an opportunity of neuro surgery and decided to drop everything to pursue a goal given to him purely off inspiration whom he thought was written by Dr.Heinamann. Until he met Johan, Tenmas true purpose was given a stable foundation.

[navysealt4t]

HELLO BLUE!! ^_^ i am back in your inbox to peddle my wares (fic concepts that are plaguing me actively)

BASICALLY for further context: this fic is like. how i have it in my head is the first chapter is a wishful-thinking type of thing. where clown is intentionally out of character (and specifically more in-line with zam's perception of him, being strong willed and close with the thing plaguing him. accepting it and emerging unharmed from the process of becoming one with [in his case] the void.) and celebrated. it's a fantasy. which is part of why that's specifically referred to as abacināre; to be blinded (typically by a red-hot iron rod or basin). because it isn't the truth.

"wind up the music box, look at the book again. whose story is it really?" is a call to the correct story, the one that zam was hiding behind this dream of being someone else.

currently i haven't fully finished zam's part. but. i gave him moths as a manifestation of trauma & paranoia & fear ^_^ because i just. something in my brain makes that click. (i've used that in previous fics. i can't remember where it came from but i like it, i use it). zam's spend his life trying to kill his fear, or hide away from it, only for it to come fluttering in through the cracks. so harmless, yet absolutely soul-destroying for him. he's tearing himself apart by proxy, since he's killing a part of himself with those moths.

something something trauma acceptance... i dunno it's a flowery metaphor for admiring people who've learnt to cope with trauma (or at least, what you've perceived as such. this is untrue in the case of what zam's seeing. clown was never bothered or hurt by the void, it was just a part of life to him. making this goal completely unachievable and unreasonable on zam's part) and not knowing how to, since their example doesn't apply to what you experienced. so instead you try and follow the example and it just brings you back to square one time and time again.

also, hence, spērāre, which can mean any of the following: "to hope, expect", "to await, anticipate", "to fear, be apprehensive", "to assume, suppose".

ALSO LASTLY, the fic's title being Asomatous, meaning without a material body; incorporeal. is just the icing on the cake that is this horrible angst riddled fic. because like. zam's assumptions aren't based in anything real, they have no grounding to them. and honestly? in this... zam may as well be a ghost. and the moths as well. they aren't real, they're a manifestation ^_^ (i can't go ten minute without giving my blorbos issues. and i just like making them Like Me yk yk)

(if i give this fic a nice/happy ending then we'll get a little healing. otherwise uh. self destructive tendencies the curse yet also my beloved as a plot device.)

ogugffbhjnkfmk i have. so many thoughts...... this is supposed to just be a random fic concept that i write and never think about again. im thinking about this one a LOT. i hope you've enjoyed my nonsense ramblings because i didnt realize i could talk this much until i just. started. talking.

oh. also. song ^_^

ooiugh pitting all of this In my Mouth <3333 i LOVEEE this idea clown being intentionally out of character and idk why but i LOVEE ‘whose story is it really?’

AND MOTHS!!!! AS THE MANIFSTATION OF FEAR AND TRAUMA AIUHH <3333 i love bugs as like metaphors and in writing it’s sooo 💥💥

FUCKING . HOLD U IN MY HAND I LOVEEE HOW UR BRAIN WORKS <333333 oughh the title i love it i LOVE this 🫶🫶🫶🫶

i loveeee the nonsense rambling <3 just getting lil bits of ur brain i love words fuck yeah !!!!!