#Laughed a lot. I still feel the residual happiness from it. It's rare to enjoy myself as much as I did.

[builtbybrokenbells]

Gold Dust Woman | iv

Driven to the brink of insanity, y/n turns to her best friend for advice in her time of need. A Sunday brunch paired with day drinking leads to a world of new information she hopes will help her to better understand the new world she is caught up in.

Read part three here

Pairing: jake kiszka x f!reader, sam kiszka x f!reader

Word Count: 12.5k

Warnings: sexting, sort of phone sex I guess, dirty talk, name calling (ish?), pet names, touch of praise, teasing, drinking, swearing, gossip (is that a warning? idk anymore guys), mentions of cheating, but nothing super heavy for this chapter! sorry if i miss any!

in my hungover state I present you with this! I’ve been waiting to write this chapter literally since I’ve started this. it’s super important to the plot and I think clears up a lot of stuff!! plus it’s a good little summary of everything leading up to this chapter. also id just like to say a super sincere thank you for the love i have received on this series. it was a big step out of my comfort zone and i was really worried that it wouldn’t be enjoyed, but you guys are so kind and supportive. i <3 you all. as always, enjoy, be kind, and don’t mind any grammar mistakes 🫶🏻

The tiny diner was overcrowded for its size, but still as welcoming as ever. Cheer and comfortability radiated through the air from the minute you stepped inside, never failing to brighten spirits. The small booth in the very back corner was routinely reserved for you and Danny on your Sunday outings. Brunch, always, but it was normally followed by some sort of wholesome activity to fill the afternoon. Then again, it didn’t matter what you were doing; time spent with Danny was always wholesome, and quite fulfilling. His friendship was one of your most prized possessions, mostly because you never really experienced anything like it before him. The conversation was never dull, radiating a type of safety that made you feel like you could tell him anything. Jokes were always well timed, advice was free-flowing, and a gesture of comfort was routinely available if needed.

Sundays were your favourite day, because you got the opportunity to spend time with him. Sometimes, the other boys would join, but that was rare. Even if they opted not to, you were fine with that, because you knew that the booth in the very back would always be reserved for two. That day was no different; you picked Danny up from his apartment at the usual time, and you both showed each other new music discoveries from the prior week. After the high stress of the weekend, you were happy to return to some type of normalcy, even if your regret for your careless decisions were constantly looming over you. When you arrived at the diner, the familiarity of the scene wrapped you up in a warm hug.

When you settled in to the seat, you placed your purse beside you and your phone face down on the table. The morning had started in a strange way, still leaving you frazzled hours later. After yesterdays activities, you had woken up tangled in the bed sheets and wrapped around Jake Kiszka. You never thought you would find yourself in such a state, but the reality of it was all too overwhelming to ignore. Although it wasn’t a bad start to the day, you were still aching with residual stress from the entirety of the situation. When he woke, too, the feeling seemed to wash away. There was a few hours where things seemed perfectly right, instead of troublesome; laughing and kissing your way through the earliest hours of your day, cooking breakfast and sharing cups of coffee along with stolen glances and smiles. It was beautiful in its own twisted way, making you genuinely believe you could spend the rest of your life doing just that. Once he’d left you on your lonesome, the guilt creeped back in like a disease, eating away at every part of you and taking you for its own. It had yet to satiate, even with Danny in front of you and a promise of a good day.

“You look terrible.” He stated, taking a sip out of the coffee mug the waitress had quickly delivered. Your eyes snapped up to him, shocked at the blunt statement.

“Thanks?” You furrowed your eyebrows, a small laugh stuck in your throat.

“No, not like that.” He corrected, placing his menu on the table. There was no need for it; you both had tried the entirety of the menu the restaurant offered, settling on your favourites long ago. “You always look pretty. I mean, you look like you just saw a ghost.” He was right, you couldn’t deny it. The bags under your eyes were darker than ever, skin pale and eyes distant. You were a mess, definitely looking like yourself but a mostly just a shell of it. It didn’t take a detective to figure that out.

“Yeah,” you chuckled, unsure of how to respond to his statement. “Guess I just haven’t been sleeping well.”

“Penny for your thoughts?” He shot back, his gaze unwavering. You shifted under the stare, feeling like he had already picked up on your predicament. You hated that about him; he always seemed to know there was something on your mind, even if you exhausted every way to hide it. It was just a Danny thing, and you had picked up on that long ago. He cared too much, noticed too much. Secrets didn’t exist around him, and perhaps that was why you were so excited for this particular outing, subconsciously hoping you might be able to get at least something off your chest.

“I don’t know if there’s enough time in the day.” You grumbled, taking a long sip of water from your cup. “I wouldn’t want to make your ears bleed.”

“I’ll strike you a deal.” He offered, causing you to look up at him. “Bottomless mimosas on me, and a shoulder to cry on.” You eyed him, nervous to agree but comforted at the thought of speaking your mind. “What’s said at brunch stays at brunch. I’ll drive home.” His invitation was very tempting. As much as you felt like you should keep the turmoil to yourself, the idea of advice or even just to confess your mistakes was overwhelmingly alluring. After a moment, you decided you would have to say something, even just an elusive idea to get some kind of answer to your internal debate.

“Deal, but it stays between us.” You finally said, realizing that if you didn’t speak your troubles aloud, they would eat you alive. Besides, there was nobody in the world that you trusted more than Danny. You knew you could probably confess murder and he would only ask how to help. “But my lips are sealed until those mimosa’s get here.” You smiled.

When the waitress came to check in and take orders, you both settled on a meal and Danny was sure not to forget your drinks. As you waited for her return, you struggled to arrange the thoughts in your brain. You had no idea how to explain the situation to him, or even where to begin. You were scared he would think differently of you, even though deep down, you knew he wouldn’t. The whole thing was sick and twisted, and you were so on edge that you thought you might combust. The last thing you wanted was to lose your friendship with Danny because of your inability to understand your own feelings. When the champagne flute was finally in front of you, your stomach churned with unease. You looked up to meet his eyes, but found he was already waiting in anticipation.

“So, what’s going on?” Before answering, you grabbed the glass and made quick work at finishing the liquid in one go. You figured you’d need the courage to tell this story.

“Remember that lesson we were talking about?” You asked, checking the flute to make sure you didn’t miss any alcohol before setting it back down.

“Vaguely,” he smirked “but I don’t think you ever told me exactly what it was.”

“Yeah, because I still have no idea what the fuck it is.” You let out a nervous chuckle. “I made a really big mess of things, and I have no idea how to fix it.”

“Okay, don’t panic. We can work through it together.” Your heart warmed at his words, feeling a little better just at the thought of his input. Even if he were to tell you that you were an idiot, you knew you deserved it. There had never been a time where advice from Danny hadn’t helped, even if it was only for a moment. And, although you hated to admit it, he was almost always right. “What kind of mess?”

“A big one.” You said, unable to find a better way to describe it. “I guess I probably have to go way back to the start for anything to make sense.” You sighed, placing your head in your hands. Your plan for keeping your feelings quiet had crumbled long ago; if you were going to tell him anything, you would have to explain it all. “The lesson was Sam. I’ve been in love with him for months.”

“Mhm,” Danny nodded, pausing his response as the waitress walked over to replace your drink. Once she was out of earshot, he spoke. “I had an idea.”

“Was it that obvious?” He quickly averted his eyes, not wanting you to see his face as he reacted to your question. You could tell he was trying not to laugh, finding your inquiry quite funny. “Oh, god.” You groaned.

“No, not exactly obvious.” He lied. You let out a groan, embarrassed that everybody seemed to know about your crush. “I don’t think he did, though. He’s pretty oblivious.” He comforted you, the second part of his statement much more genuine. “Why is that such a big deal?” You audibly laughed at his comment, realizing that he had no idea the extent of the problem.

“He never gave me any idea he liked me back. Flirted with girls at my house, acted like I was just another one of the guys. I never really felt like I meant anything more to him.” You explained. “And I was too much of a coward to say anything. Thought it was better if I kept everything a secret. I didn’t want to risk losing you guys as friends. I like you all too much.”

“We like you too, y/n.” He smiled, finding your worry silly. He knew that whatever happened, he still wanted to be your friend. You were his solace away from the chaos of his band mates, and to him, it was the best thing in the whole world. You gave him a soft smile, taking a moment to sip at your drink again. “No matter what, you’re always going to be my Sunday brunch date.” He assured you. You let out a long breath, now preparing to get into the deepest part of the conversation.

“So that night, after you and I talked, I figured that I had to snap out of it. I spent every weekend watching him, hoping he would make a move, or even give me some sort of hint that he acknowledged I existed in any way other than a friend. I was tired of waiting. I wanted to have fun, so I asked you to play beer pong.” He hummed an agreement, letting you know he was following. “And I partnered with Jake.” And what a grave mistake, that was. “I was drunk, and at first it was friendly, no different than usual. Then he started looking and talking to me different. It wasn’t bad, obviously, but he was very clearly flirting.” You paused, noticing the small smile he was fighting back. You tried to ignore it, not liking the way he was looking at you. “I was really drunk, and it felt really nice to be noticed. I shouldn’t have entertained it, but I did. I played along with him, thinking it was harmless. The game ended, we went out separate ways, and I figured that was the end of it. It should have been the end of it.”

“It wasn’t, though, was it?” You shook your head at his words. The conversation was stopped by plates of food in front of you and another replacement for your empty mimosa. You took a break from the grievous topic to have a bite to eat before continuing. After a few moments, you answered.

“Nope,” you sighed, popping the p to accentuate the impact. “We talked for a little while longer, then I went to the bathroom. Heard someone playing my guitar in my room, so of course I had to check.” You cursed yourself for not knowing better. “There he was, playing so well that it draws you in without a second thought, looking as pretty as ever.” He got a laugh out of your statement, never hearing two compliments sound so much like insults. “I joined him and we talked for a while, completely normal stuff.”

“You guys hooked up?”

“Ah!” You snapped, pressing your finger to your lips, silently telling him to keep his voice down. He let out a hearty laugh at your dramatics, knowing that nobody in the vicinity gave a single care about what you were talking about.

“So that’s a yes?”

“Yeah, sort of, I guess!” You said, exasperated at the thought of recalling that moment aloud, especially to someone so close with Jake. You took another long drink, hoping the alcohol would calm your nerves. “I went to bed, and I didn’t know what to think. Part of me was thrilled, but a bigger one never wanted to do it again. I felt so guilty, almost like I cheated on Sam even though he had no idea I liked him. How stupid is that?”

“It’s not stupid, y/n. I think it’s pretty normal, actually.” He shrugged. “We live in our own head, and when we like someone so much, especially for a long time, it kind of starts to feel real. I think you feeling guilty is actually more normal than not caring. Means you really do like him, and it’s not just a surface level thing.” The confirmation was nice, but also made you feel even worse. You felt as though you shouldn’t be allowed to have feelings for Sam anymore, especially after how you spent your morning. “I take it that’s not the end?” He chuckled, picking up on your sullen expression.

“No,” you groaned, burying your head in your hands again. “I wish it was, but no.” He reached over, looping his fingers around your wrist and gently pulling your hand away from your face. You glanced up at him through your eyelashes, noticing his smile.

“It’s okay. What’s said at brunch stays at brunch.” He promised. You gave a slight nod, letting your hand fall into his. He rested them on the table, giving yours a reassuring squeeze.

“When I woke up and only saw you three in the living room, I kind of thought he regretted it, too. Figured he sobered up and… yeah.” You laughed, not feeling a need to get into your insecurities. “I was nervous, still feeling pretty guilty, but we were all hungover so I just blamed it on that. Things felt normal for a minute, when we were all just sitting and falling asleep. Then he came back. From the minute I saw him, I knew he didn’t regret any of it. He gave me my coffee. My coffee, exactly how I order it. He remembered, and I don’t even think I’ve ever told him.” You mumbled, feeling a blush rise at the memory. “We ended up going to the basement, and nothing happened, really. We kissed and talked, and we kind of agreed he would stay after everyone left.”

“That doesn’t sound bad.” He reassured you. You narrowed your stare, causing him to back down instantly.

“Aside from the feelings thing, no.” You admitted, feeling bad for giving him such a harsh look. “While we were playing songs, everything felt fine. It was fun, I wasn’t nervous or worried about anything, and I thought that maybe things would be fine. I know Jake isn’t the bad guy; he’s not someone I wouldn’t want to fall in love with. I think I’d like it, actually, if the situation were that simple. He’s always been kind to me, he’s funny, he remembers things about me that nobody bothers to. He cares about the little things. He pays attention.”

“And Sam doesn’t.” He affirmed. You nodded, agreeing wholeheartedly.

“He never has. I feel like I wasted months loving someone who didn’t give a shit whether I was around or not.” Danny looked like he wanted to protest, but bit his tongue instead. It was your time to vent, and he wanted you to say what you needed without interruption. “I went to the kitchen to get more coffee, more comfortable with everything. I thought maybe if Jake and I spent enough time together, the feelings for Sam would just be… obsolete. I’m sure it would have worked, too. But, he just had to follow me.”

“Sam?” You nodded, giving him a bit of clarity. You were so worked up that you were rushing yourself through the story.

“Yeah, we just chatted for a minute, both drank our coffee like normal friends. Then he tried to hold my hand! And then tried to hint around that he liked me, too!”

“He did not,” Danny sat back in the booth, letting his head slump against the seat, internally cringing at his best friends terrible timing.

“Sure did! The whole confession was pretty funny, actually. Not to me, but definitely to someone! It was like god was sitting up in the sky laughing at me while it happened.”

“He’s so stupid.” Danny groaned, clearly exasperated himself. Danny was so unapologetic about his secret love of girl talk, and it made you incredibly happy. He really was your best friend in every sense of the word.

“Yeah, and I was a little pissed off! It made me feel like I was only worth loving when he was afraid he couldn’t have me. We argued for a few minutes, and he basically pried the confession about Jake out of me so he could use it for his own personal agenda! Then, he got this grand idea that he’d make it into a competition between him and and his brother to see who can win me over.” Danny gave a wince at the thought, already aware of Sam’s thought process before you even said it aloud. “I told him it was a bad idea, and I meant it. It is a terrible idea.” You clarified before telling him any more. After a few moments of silence, his eyes were urging you to continue. “We kissed.” You sighed. He let out another laugh, like what you had said was a joke rather than something you deeply regretted. His hand squeezed yours once more, another gesture of comfort. “What’s so funny?”

“No, no. You tell your story, I’ll talk later.” He assured you. With an air of discomfort, you accepted the deal, deciding to purge yourself of the last bit of the story so you could get it over with.

“It was fantastic. Something I’d been waiting forever to do. It almost felt wrong because it felt so right. So I planned on ending things with Jake. It was the right thing to do; I know if Sam had kissed me even a day sooner, there would have been no problem or conflict. I would have been over the moon.” Danny gave a hum, understanding what you meant, but not certain he agreed with it. Still, he held his thoughts back until you were finished. “You guys came in, and Sam left. Jake was still in the living room, because I told him to stay after everybody went home. I went in to talk to him, fully prepared to end things, but when I saw him, it was like it disappeared. He’s just so… captivating. Like, when I’m around him, he’s the only thing that exists.”

“Yeah, he does have a pretty big personality. Hard to ignore. He’s quiet, but I think that’s part of the charm.”

“Yep, because everything that comes out of his mouth is perfectly thought out.” You snipped, angry at the thought of his perfection. “He started talking, and he knew Sam and I had done something in the kitchen. I didn’t even have to say anything to him. There was a lot of back and fourth, kind of unimportant. I don’t even think I could explain it, anyway. But, he basically said that they both had feelings for me and they decided that they should both have a fair shot at winning me over. Isn’t that fucked up? That they decided that on their own, and didn’t tell me?”

“Yeah,” he nodded.

“That’s what I thought! Anyway, whatever. Doesn’t matter now, I guess. He said some cryptic shit and I told him to leave, but it was mostly just because I was pissed off. I don’t think I really wanted him to go. Like I said, it doesn’t matter, because he stayed the night, last night. He left before I came to pick you up.” You sat back in your seat, defeated still, even after talking through the whole thing. The words being spoken into the universe only seemed to make you feel worse about the predicament. The only hope you had left was that Danny would have some sort of miracle advice to help you out, but you didn’t want to keep your hopes too high. “I think Jake’s been feeling the same way about me as I feel about Sam.”

“Okay.” Danny said, showing you that he was sufficiently aware of your predicament. “My turn?”

“Please.” You urged, finishing the last of your drink. You barely had the glass back on the table before the waitress was there to replace it. You were starting to feel the buzz of the liquor, realizing that you were genuinely getting day-drunk just to forget about your own mistakes. You were at an all time low, you decided. Your usual attitude towards relationships had continually assured you protected yourself, never letting anyone get to close, and never falling for anybody too hard. It was lonely, but loneliness was much preferred to how you were feeling in that moment. Now, in addition to a broken heart and a guilty conscience, you were scared you were going to lose the only true friends you ever had.

“I’ve known Jake and Sam for a long time. It’s a blessing and a curse. I love them to death, they’re family. Fun to be around, great friends, all that mushy shit. But, after so many years, you pick up on the bad stuff, too.” You were intrigued, now. As the fourth glass of the heartache remedy slid down your throat, you felt yourself leaning in closer to the table, not expecting a response like such. You thought Danny would call you on your bullshit, tell you that you were an idiot. You prepared yourself for that, still, because the conversation wasn’t over. It was still a possibility, but you certainly didn’t think his advice would lead in with the Kiszka’s baggage.

“You mean to tell me they’re not perfect? That god didn’t hand craft them and put them on earth just to make the rest of us feel bad?” He had another hearty laugh, finding your tipsy smile hilarious. Your ability to joke even through your turmoil was heartwarming.

“Seems that way sometimes, but no. At least I don’t think so.” He reassured you. “Jake and Sam are a lot more alike than everyone thinks, and not just physically. Sometimes, they’re more alike than Jake and Josh, which is incredibly hard to do. I mean, they’re brothers, so it’s expected, I guess. I didn’t notice it when we were in high school, but Jake wasn’t around as often. Once we all graduated, we started making music and spending a lot of time together. I think that’s when I realized how similar they were.”

“Mhm,” you agreed, wholeheartedly believing him. The two were strikingly similar in lots of ways, despite a few blatant things that offset their shared traits. You could even tell through their touch, or the small interactions that left you guessing if they previously conspired what they were going to say to you, or if it was just their Kiszka nature.

“Their taste in girls has always been one of those things. Over the years, girlfriends or flings caught interest in the other brother, or vice versa, and it was always a bit messy. It seemed like if you fell for one of them, you’d eventually fall for both of them. Or if one of them fell for you, the other would, too. It’s really fucked up, actually.” He gave a little chuckle, trying his best to explain the observation. “They caught on to it pretty soon, and fought over it once or twice, but it never seemed to cause an issue between them. They’d be mad for a few days, then they would move on like it never happened. I don’t know if they accepted it, or if they just didn’t care. Personally, I couldn’t do what they do. It would drive me crazy.” He added, clearly letting on that whatever he was leading in to was common, very deeply rooted and still pressing. You could see in his eyes that the idea was unsettling to him. “For a year or so, whichever way it went, the other just admitted defeat and moved on.”

“Oh, wow.” You breathed, trying to wrap your head around his words. It felt like you were learning deep lore about them that you weren’t supposed to know.

“I wouldn’t be telling you all this if I felt like I shouldn’t be, but it seems like they’re back to their old ways. Trust me when I say it’s much harder on you than it is on them.” You nodded, agreeing with the statement. The whole twisted relationship had given you nothing but turmoil since it had begun, and you were desperate for insight on how to fix it. To them, it just seemed like another day’s work. “Our first real tour, Sam fell super hard for a girl we met at a bar one night. Like, I mean head over heels, stars in his eyes, the whole nine yards. He got her number, and they were in love before we even left the bar. They ended up getting together, and things were really great between them. She even came along with us for a few weeks. They were happy for a while, but then Sam let tour life get to him, I think. He fucked up, hooked up with a random girl and threw the whole thing in the garbage. It was absolutely his fault, and I’ll never defend him over it, but he was young and had no idea how to handle the fame, even if we weren’t that big back then. He seemed to cling to every bit of attention he got. I know he regretted it as soon as he realized what he did, but obviously it was too late. I don’t blame her for leaving.” He shrugged. You were watching intently, immersed in every word.

“Now, I don’t know for certain what happened. Nobody talks about it anymore, and we never really did back then, either. It’s in the past, and everybody wants to keep it that way. But, that girl ended up in Jake’s bed after the big blowout. I don’t know if she initiated it, or he instigated, but it didn’t really matter, anyway. Sam found out and went insane, and he wasn’t interested in knowing who started it. They fought, like really fought, fists and all. We thought that would be the end of the band; they didn’t speak to each other for weeks. Rehearsals and concerts were constantly tense. The girl wasn’t even in the picture, anymore, Sam just felt betrayed and Jake didn’t want to admit he was in the wrong. Before, I don’t think he was ever really in love with anybody, so it didn’t matter as much. But that time, Sam reached his breaking point.”

“Holy shit,” you didn’t care about anything else happening around you. The story was captivating; both boys were very closed off, never giving too much away about themselves. They’d always answer questions if asked, but you never really heard much about the past, especially relationships. You were realizing why, now. “Poor Sam.”

“I guess.” Danny shrugged. “In that situation, yeah, but he’s not innocent. After they made up, he never let it go. He wanted to get back at him, and he did. Ever since then, Jake never had a chance to have a relationship. The minute he showed interest in someone, Sam was already trying to win her over. At first, I think it was just a coincidence. They’re similar, they like the same type of girls, obviously that can cause some issues. After that, it was different. Clearly intentional and meant to be hurtful. I stopped feeling sorry for them a long time ago. They know what they’re doing, and neither of them want to be the bigger person and apologize. Over the years, it’s just grown into a big mess.”

“So that’s why they’re doing this?”

“Yeah.” He felt no need to lie. “They’ve always been competitive. It’s a brother thing. Sam more than Jake, really. I think it’s because he’s younger, maybe feels inadequate sometimes. But to be competitive over girls with real feelings… I don’t like it. After so long, they learned to take the loss and move on. Better luck next time, to them. They mope around for a few days and then they’re back to best friends like nothing ever happened. The girls always end up getting hurt in the end, and that’s the fucked up part. They can hurt their own feelings as much as they want, but I don’t think it’s right to do it to anyone else.”

“That’s why Jake knew what happened in the kitchen. And Sam was so certain he was going to win me over. They’re masters at the game.” The whole wicked, devil-like persona’s were making more sense, now. Every move was thought out, meticulously planned and executed with grace. They’ve been playing this game far longer than you’d even been a part of it, and you were curious if they even had real feelings at all, or if it was just a part of the spiteful process.

“Masters, I’m not sure about. Cocky and annoying, absolutely. I don’t care what they have against each other. They have to settle that between themselves, not bring anyone else into it. All of us consider you a friend. A best friend. What they’re doing hurts everyone, but clearly it’s been hurting you the most.” You finished your drink, looking around for the waitress to get another refill. You were in information overload, more questions and worries filling your head with every second that passed. He picked up on the nervous energy, giving your hand another small squeeze to bring you back to reality.

“Do you think they even care about me, or is it just to piss each other off?” His eyes widened, realizing how easily you could have interpreted that from his story.

“No, y/n, not like that. I can’t speak for certainty on everything, but I am pretty sure Jake’s head over heels for you. He always perks up when we talk about you, and he’s the first one ready when we’re going to your place. Most of the time, he’s begging us to hurry up. I can see it in his eyes. We all see it, and I think that’s why I got so excited when I saw you guys flirting on Friday. Hoped that he’d finally get the courage to make a move.”

“Okay,” you whispered, scared to ask anything about the other boy, unsure if you even wanted to know the answer.

“Sam likes you, too. He told me himself, and not just yesterday, either. I’m not picking a side, or trying to get you to choose. Just telling you what I think you need to know so you can stop beating yourself up.” He explained. “I don’t know why Sam didn’t speak up, sooner. I told him you liked him, gave him encouragement, but he never said anything. He acted like he was oblivious, but he knew. Everyone knows you have feelings for Sam. I love you, but it was obvious.” Your cheeks turned rosy, embarrassed at your own inability to hide your emotions. “I think they both really like you, and they were scared of the same thing. They didn’t want the other to steal you away, but they fell into routine again and they’re doing exactly what they wanted to avoid. When Sam saw you with Jake, It probably lit a old fire in him, which is why it all happened so fast.” As much as you wanted the knowledge to give you reassurance, it only made the dread grow even larger.

“I don’t know what to do, Danny.” You sighed, closing your eyes to ward off the stress headache. You retracted your hand from his, missing the comfort of the hold almost immediately. You brought your fingers to your temples and gently massaged the area, satiating the ache slightly. “I never should have started anything with Jake. I had feelings for Sam. It was selfish, and I know that.”

“I think you had feelings for him, too. Maybe you just didn’t realize it.” He offered. “It’s not like you to start something like that without any reason. Plus, like I said, if you like one of them… history tends to repeat itself.” He said, keeping the truth light.

“If I didn’t, I sure do now.” You let out a humourless laugh, pushing the food around on your plate with your fork. “I feel like I maybe put Sam on a pedestal because I had such a big crush on him. I always thought I was in love with him, but I was never with him. I didn’t know anything beyond the surface, never experienced anything more than friendship. Not even an idea. Now, I’ve been with Jake. I know him, and I feel like maybe what I felt for Sam was just infatuation.”

“Could have been.” He shrugged, unable to answer that one for you.

“But when I’m around him, both of them, actually, they have this pull, like the earth is forcing me into their arms. It’s impossible to think clearly with them around, and I think maybe I just have to take a step back to figure it out.”

“Good luck with that.” He joked, eyes drifting to your phone on the table. “Your phone’s been going off all day, and I’m pretty sure I have an idea who it is.” You couldn’t deny anything, mostly because you knew he was right. Intermittently, another vibration would sound, and you knew if you picked it up, it would be one of the brothers you were trying so hard to ignore. “I don’t care if you ignore them, as long as I still get to see you. Wouldn’t give up our brunch dates for the world.” He sent a playful wink your way.

“Let’s just run away, get married and have mimosa’s for the rest of our lives on a cute little porch while we watch the sunset.” You grinned. “Don’t have to worry about anything ever again.”

“Don’t tempt me,” he smirked. “If I get involved in this, I’m definitely winning.” You both shared a fit of giggles, happy to ease the tension with light jokes. “But seriously, if that’s what you want to do, do it. I know how hard on the head they can be normally, so I can’t imagine what it’s like being in your position.” He sympathized. “It’s not fair to you. I think maybe that’s why Jake tried to be so secretive about it, he wanted to make the move and start something before Sam could get involved. But, it’s like some weird brother thing; they can always tell.”

“I don’t know what to do. I feel like I ignored too many lessons, and the universe is super mad at me right now.” You sighed, your attention grabbed by the waitress dropping another drink off. You mumbled a small thank you before she disappeared again. “I like them both, but I don’t want to hurt either of them. I don’t want to get hurt. The whole thing is fucked up.”

“May I offer my opinion?” He asked, mischief laced in his tone. You gave a nod, figuring that anything would help at this point. “I don’t think you’re going to hurt them nearly as bad as you think.” He assured you. “Yeah, obviously, however this goes, someone is bound to be disappointed, but they’ve been playing this game for years. If you like both of them, play the game with them.”

“Encourage it?” You were in disbelief that he would even suggest it.

“Yep.” He confirmed, no hesitation in his voice. “Listen, they started this whole thing. They think it’s okay to play with your feelings, so play with theirs, instead. Maybe teach them a lesson.” He explained. “Don’t let them run things. You’re in control here, even if you don’t think you are. Have fun with them, and hopefully they’ll see what they’re doing is wrong.”

“You’re evil, Daniel.” You contemplated the idea while finishing your final mimosa, feeling positively tipsy.

“No, just think it’s time they got some karma. They have to learn eventually, they can’t do this for the rest of their lives.” He said, throwing his cutlery and napkins on his plate. “As long as you think you can do it without hurting your own feelings.”

“I’m so pissed off at them that I don’t even care about that.” You chuckled, but it wasn’t funny. The statement was completely truthful.

“So teach them, and then we can eat our brunch in peace. When you do, hopefully they’ll never do it again.” You weren’t expecting Danny to side with you in the matter, but you especially weren’t expecting for him to cheer you on. As you listened to his story of the years he spent dealing with them, you understood why he was telling you to do it. Knowing Danny, you could only assume that there had been many instances where he had to do damage control because of Jake and Sam’s childish behaviour, and he was sick of it. Plus, he seemed quite annoyed with the amount of broken hearts that have ensued because of the brothers tyranny.

Part of you thought it was crazy, that there was no way you could do that to the boys. The other, angrier part of you thought it was a great idea. After only two days of turmoil caused by their behaviour, you were in shambles. Now, knowing that they were completely aware of their own actions, you had no issue handing it right back to them. “Okay.” You agreed. The liquor definitely had an impact on your decision making, but not enough for you to worry about it.

“There. Problem solved.” He smiled. “Maybe that lesson you were dreading wasn’t really your lesson after all.”

You both left the diner with a little more pep in your step than before. Your fears were settled, but not fully resolved. Still, the sense of doom that was looming over you seemed to ease up, and you accredited it solely to Danny. Without his words, you would still be drowning in your own misery. You spotted your car, making a move to get in the drivers seat. As you reached for the handle, you paused yourself, realizing that you were in no state to drive. You reached into your purse, fishing out your keys, and turned to see Danny already holding his hand out for them.

“All yours,” you said, dropping them in his palm. “Forgot.” You let out a giggle.

“Whatever,” he rolled his eyes, sending a playful smile your way. You walked to the other side of the vehicle, getting in to the passenger side. Once you had your seatbelt buckled, he began the journey home. You connected your phone to the speaker, clumsily tapping the screen to unlock it. You hit shuffle on your playlist, not having the mind to scroll through and pick a song.

You turned your head towards the window, letting your eyes take in the sights as you passed by. Your mind was spinning with thoughts, but none stuck out as they passed through. Most were a jumble of topics from the previous day’s events, no coherent nature to them. You wanted to check your missed messages, just to see what they’d been saying, but you couldn’t find the strength to do so. You were angry, still, upset that they had no issue involving you in their mess and seemed to have no remorse over it. Even so, the urge to talk to them, to be with them, touched by them, was growing more urgent by the second.

Danny was right; it would be impossible to ignore them. That left you with two choices; play along, or let them play with you and get hurt in the process. You still weren’t certain that the first option would keep your feelings safe, but it was worth a try. Even if it didn’t, hopefully it would ensure neither would pull a stunt like such ever again. “I think I drank too much.” You stated, another giggle laced in your words. He glanced over at you from the drivers seat, giving you a grin.

“Guess that was my fault.” He chuckled.

“No,” you shook your head, smiling softly. “You helped, a lot.”

“I’m glad.” He replied, turning down the street your home was nestled on. “I’m always available for free therapy and alcohol.”

“I always appreciate it. I appreciate you.” You said, watching your driveway creep into sight.

“I appreciate you, bug.” He shot back without missing a beat. The pet name made your heart warm with affection. He really was your best friend, always your biggest comfort and favourite person. Nobody else compared to him, and you hoped that no matter how the situation played out, you’d still have him by your side. A small, selfish part of you wondered why you couldn’t just fall for him; he was funny, sweet, and genuine. Any time spent with him was worth more than the world, and he was beautiful, too. For some reason, it was written in the stars that he was to be your best friend, but that was more than okay. A life with Danny as your best friend was a certain promise of a good one. As much as it sucked dancing with the devil, or the Kiszka brothers, rather, it was meant to be. Even while you wished it away, hoped you could fall out of their grasp and into someone else’s, there was a part of you that loved being loved by them.

He parked your car in its usual spot, getting out to open your door for you. He walked you to the house, stepping inside and closing the door behind you. You both went to the living room, collapsing on the couch with exhaustion, as if you’d just ran a marathon. “You’re stuck here.” You laughed, finally realizing that he didn’t have his own car with him.

“I’ll call a cab, don’t worry.” He assured you, grabbing his phone to do just that. As he found himself busy telling the company the address, you reached over to the chair beside the couch, grabbing the acoustic guitar Jake had been playing earlier that morning. As he hung up the call, you plucked at the strings mindlessly, eventually switching to a chord progression that you had grown to know very well. “Dinner and a show?” He teased, still in awe that you had hidden your talent for so long.

“You know, it would be a lot of fun to come with you guys.” You thought aloud, dismissing his joke.

“You should.” He affirmed your idea. “Even if you just came for a part of the tour.” You let out a low hum, letting him know you heard him without having to respond. Instead of pushing you further, he leaned back into the couch and watched you as you played. Once you were certain he wasn’t going to speak again, you began to sing along to the music, to the song you loved so much. Jake had pegged it as your nickname, and at first it was endearing, but the more you listened to it, the more the words resonated with the ache settled deep in your chest.

“Rock on, Gold Dust Woman

Take your silver spoon, dig your grave” you looked to the fretboard, feeling the need to focus harder because of the alcohol swarming in your system.

“Heartless challenge, pick your path and I’ll pray

Wake up in the morning, see your sunrise loves to go down

Lousy lovers pick their prey but they never cry out loud.“

You sang the rest of the song, breathless by the time you were finished. Danny had a smile stuck on his lips, understanding that sooner or later you would agree to their offer. He could tell how badly you wanted to say yes, but your anxiety was holding you back. You were thinking of the offer, too, but something more pressing came to kind in light of the song choice. Or the mimosas. Or both, maybe. You weren’t sure. Either way, Jake Kiszka had inevitably made his appearance in your thoughts once more, but it wasn’t like he had left in the first place. His presence was always existing within your brain somewhere, even if it wasn’t at the forefront.

It was horrid, never being able to escape him, but it was phenomenal all at the same time. In the last twenty-for hours, he helped you feel more alive than you ever had before. His touch was still lingering in your skin, electrifying every nerve. The memory was fantastic, but nothing compared to the real thing. He was addicting; his company was no longer a want, but necessary for survival. You wondered if you would ever be able to live without it, quickly realizing that you never wanted to find out. Before, the thought of not having Jake around was terrifying, but after having him so intimately, the idea was debilitating, stealing the air from your lungs and crushing you under its weight.

“I could listen to you sing all day, but I gotta run.” Danny broke you from your thoughts. “Plans for tonight, can’t get out of them.”

“Cheating on me, Daniel?” You let out a tsk, showing your displeasure. He let out a laugh, shaking his head.

“Could never do that to you, darling.” He said, as dramatically as possible. You put the guitar to the side, standing up with him so you could give him a proper goodbye. You pulled him into a hug a bit tighter than usual, catching him off guard. It only took him a second to return the gesture, wrapping you in an aura of comfort.

“Thank you for everything. I feel a lot better.”

“That’s what I’m here for.” He assured you. “I love you, and I’ll talk to you soon?” You nodded, head still pressed to his chest.

“I love you.” You said, parting ways with him. “And yeah, I’ll update you.” You smiled, your secret plan solidified by your words.

“Give them hell.” He said, a tone of pleading hidden in the joke. With a wave, he disappeared around the corner and the front door sounded a moment later. The second the door shut, the emptiness of the home already started to seep in.

You gathered your thoughts, shaking away the haunting feeling of seclusion, and made your way to your bedroom. Once inside, you switched the power on to your record player, resuming whichever vinyl you had left from this morning. You let your eyes flutter closed at the hum of the song cutting through the silence. Another vibration from your phone caught your attention, suddenly remembering the messages you had intended to ignore. Now, with Danny’s words sounding in your mind, and your first chance at alone-time, you channeled a new courage to reply. Your fingers pulled the phone from your pocket, eyes immediately drifting over the screen. There were a few texts from your own band mates, and when they could come over to practice. You made a mental note to respond to them later. You moved on, seeing Sam’s name adorned on a missed call. You opted to focus on him later, your eyes seeking the contact you wanted to deal with first.

The notification bar from Jake had three messages. When you tapped them, you expected to be met with filthy words to fuel your desire to get back at him. Instead, the first was a small message of thanks for letting him stay the night prior, confessing his enjoyment. It was simple, not detailed, but enough to make your heart beat a little faster and a blush to make its way onto your cheeks. The second message was a well wish for your lunch date with Danny, saying he hoped you had a good time. The third was much different, more on par with what you had expected from him.

Jacob

Let me know when you want to share some more secrets, Gold Dust Woman

You felt a surge of emotion rush to your stomach, the words so simple, but the feeling so large. It was so easy to give in to him; he barely had to look your way and you were jumping at the chance to be noticed by him. It was crazy how fast the dynamic changed, how quickly he became so important to you. Without a second thought, you were already typing a response.

You

What kind of secrets would you like me to share, Jacob?

You hit send, not expecting a response considering you had waited so long to reply. Before you could even shut the screen off, the text bubble appeared on the screen, signifying his presence in the chat. A smirk pulled at the corner of your lips, happy to see that he was on your hook just as much as you were on his.

Jacob

I can think of a few

You

I’m sure you can. Care to elaborate?

His response was almost immediate, as if he’d pre-typed the words in anticipation of your question.

Jacob

Still wearing that red thong from earlier, or was that just to show off?

You enacted a plan as soon as the text was delivered and you processed what it said. You threw your phone on your bed, quickly shimmying out of your clothes and discarding them on the floor. The alcohol was still buzzing through your veins, your decisions heavily reliant on the false confidence the champagne bestowed upon you. You retrieved your phone, making a move to stand before the mirror on the opposite side of your room. You pulled up your camera, taking a few pictures from different angles, clearly showcasing the red fabric he was so curious about. The pictures that included the matching bra was just out of generosity.

You sifted through the pictures in your camera roll, picking the ones you thought were the best. You swiped back into his chat, reading his message over again. Instead of saying anything else, you sent the few photos you deemed acceptable. You went to the kitchen, unable to find a care to put your clothes back on, and turned your phone screen off. You scoured the fridge, finding a bottle of wine unopened and patiently awaiting your arrival. As you poured yourself a glass, you listened to the repetitive vibrations of incoming text messages. You looked to the clock on the wall, noting the time. Then, you took a seat in a chair and enjoyed the beverage you had fixed for yourself.

After a few moments, the texts ceased, leaving you to sit in silence and ponder your actions. You sipped away at the bitter liquid, refusing to give in to the temptation of answering him. When your glass was half empty, the vibrations resumed. This time, it was an incoming call. The ticking of the clock caught your attention, realizing you’d left him on edge for about fifteen minutes. You figured if you let it go much longer, he would show up at your front door. The thought itself wasn’t terrible, and you certainly wouldn’t mind the company, but you decided you wouldn’t push him that far. His incoming call ended, but it wasn’t long before another one sounded. With a smile on your lips, you picked up your phone and accepted his attempt to reach you.

“Hi,” you said, cheerily, as if you had no idea he had been blowing up your phone. “What’s up?”

“Ignoring me, sweetheart?” His voice was low, no angry tone or hint of annoyance. The soft inquiry sent a rush of arousal through you, just knowing that you had bothered him so badly was enough to send you spiralling.

“Why would I do that?” You asked, tipsiness laced in your voice. He picked up on it almost immediately, thinking your new-found confidence was a result of the alcohol. In truth, he wasn’t completely wrong. Although you and Danny had devised the plan, the execution was heavily reliant on intoxication. For some reason, sobriety did not help your case with either brother. Their charm and wit held you in a chokehold, any time you had the courage to retaliate, they made another move to make you submit. Despite your lack of control, it was still quite enjoyable. Now that tables had turned, that he was the one sitting and thinking about you and slowly driving himself to insanity, you had to admit that it was enjoyable, too. Maybe even more so, if you had to choose.

“Don’t be a tease, angel.” He hummed, the sound of his voice through the phone sending a shiver through you. You thought you might give in, throw the act away and beg for him to come over, but you bit your tongue and powered through.

“I thought that’s what you wanted to see, baby.” You played innocent, taking another sip of wine to keep the spirits high. Your head was buzzing, swimming with many thoughts. Most were filthy, focused mainly on how badly you wished he was in front of you, rather than on the phone. It was ridiculous how fast he consumed your entire being. Thoughts of his hands, his tongue, and how good they felt when they were on you. You missed him, even if you opted not to say it aloud. It had only been a few hours, but it was much too long for your liking. “Was that what you wanted, Jacob?”

“Fuck,” he muttered under his breath, bothered by your use of the pet name, bothered by the sultry tone you were speaking in. A smirk formed on the corner of your lips, cocky enough to know that you had power over him, too. “Yeah, it was, baby.” He conceded, unwilling to argue the point. “You still didn’t answer my question.” He stated, not willing to let you off the hook so easily.

“What was your question?” You asked, one last attempt to get under his skin. He let in a long breath, trying his best to stay calm while you made it a point to piss him off.

“Why were you ignoring me, angel?” He was heavy on the terms of endearment, leaving you unsure if it was because they were genuine, or if he was using them to coerce an answer from you.

“Wanted to piss you off.” You admitted, feeling no need to lie to him. “Did it work?”

“Mhm,” he mumbled his response wordlessly. Even without an explicit affirmation, you could tell it did just by his tone change. He had expected the answer, but it didn’t seem to make him feel any better. “Didn’t know you were such a brat.” He noted.

“Maybe you just bring out the worst in me.” You snipped back almost immediately. He let out a chuckle, but it wasn’t because he thought your words were humorous. It radiated a tone of shock, as if he was trying to tell you that you had no idea what you were getting yourself into.

“Careful, sweetheart.” He warned. “Don’t make me come over there and fuck that attitude out of you.”

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” You teased. He could hear the smile on your lips through your words, making it difficult for him to keep up with the act. He found your joy infectious, and the teasing fun, in a greater sense than just sexual. He enjoyed all conversations shared with you, even if there was no sexual gratification. He just loved being around you.

“I would, but I don’t think you would.” He said, simple enough to get the point across, but powerful enough to worsen the growing ache between your legs.

“Maybe you’re the sadist.” You theorized, throwing his own idea back in his face. If only he knew how badly you lived to please him, his previous accusations of sadism would be laughable.

“You’ll have to wait and see. I’m sure you’ll find out soon enough.” His voice was soothing, even if the topic was filthy. You could listen to him speak all night and never get bored. He was devastatingly perfect, and he made it easier to fall for him every time he opened his mouth. Without thought, you opened your mouth to speak, letting the wine take control of the conversation.

“I miss you.” The statement was quiet, but impactful. In reality, the three words were barely loud enough to catch a normal listeners attention, but the sound was deafening, to him. When you were met with silence, a fizzle of regret formed in your chest, wondering if you took it too far. You would take it back, pretend you never said it or bury it so deep down that could never surface again, just to ensure he wouldn’t hang up the phone; the last thing you wanted was to scare him away.

Although drunk, your feelings were true. You did miss him: you wanted to stay wrapped up in him forever, whether it be just with basic comfort or with sexual nature. You didn’t care, as long as he was with you. In three days, his presence had not only caught your attention, but made home within the walls of your house. Feelings for him were blossoming from every angle, immersing you within them and tying you down with their roots. It only took three days for Jake to make you a fool for him, three days to produce a feeling that rivalled your feelings for Sam. If you thought you were in too deep before, you were drowning, now.

That’s the funny thing about love; it cares little about who it’s next victim is, only about the fatalities it leaves in its wake.

Despite equal consent to the game, fatality was most definitely the prize. By choosing to be ignorant to risk, all three of you willingly sealed your own fate. No amount of repent could save you from the consequences. Deep down, you were well aware of that fact, but the sin was so pleasurable that it no longer mattered.

“I miss you, Gold Dust Woman.” The words only solidified your desire to ignore the risk. It was the most beautiful statement you had ever heard, and it was laced with sincerity. Imbedded with so much emotion that it made your head spin, wondering if it was even possible for someone to speak with such unwavering clarity. As if he, too, realized the extent of his vulnerability, he quickly spoke to cover it. “I miss being inside you, more.” The sweet tone quickly turned into one of desire, but both of you knew it was a lie. He desperately missed the mornings activities, his arms wrapped around your waist with a kiss placed to your neck while the smell of coffee lingered in the air. Smiling and laughing, singing along and poorly dancing to the hum of the record player. Taking turns playing guitar for each other, him dedicating every song to you but leaving it unspoken. He missed the moments of silence, more comfortable than any other, where he could hear your breathing steady while your eyes fluttered closed, enticed by the idea of falling back into a slumber. He missed the fleeting feeling of you being his, and his alone. Even if the idea wasn’t wholly truthful, he liked to pretend it was.

And in a way, you were. Every part of you belonged to him in some sense, even if other forces were trying to pull you away. But neither of you would ever speak those thoughts aloud, scared of the same things, even if the ones you focused on were not the biggest threats. Instead, you played along, sad that he felt the need to discredit such a genuine confession, but relieved that you didn’t have to explain your own. You both fell in step with the devil once again, ignoring the ache in your hearts and covering it with animalistic attraction and half-truths. If only you could both hear how loud he was laughing, pleased that you carried on just how the devil intends.

“You know there’s always a place for you between my legs, baby.” You whispered, the low tone shaking him to his core, settling in his bones and breaking them under the weight of the statement. It was unspoken that the confessions of emotion would be ignored, as always. It was just the way things were. You could practically hear his need for you through the phone, even if he didn’t say anything.

“Is that what you want?” He posed the question in a derogatory manner, as if he was trying to make you to feel shameful for wanting him so badly. You could see through it, knowing that he just wanted to hear you admit your desperation for him. “You want me, baby?”

“Mhm,” You nodded, even though he couldn’t see you. As you realized that, you also realized how badly you wished you could see him. Before responding any further, you clicked the FaceTime icon on his contact. Within seconds, he accepted. The screen lit up with his face, immediately giving you a sense of relief. You took in the sight, noting he was sitting in his living room. You had only been to his apartment a handful of times, but you knew it well enough to recognize it. “Hi,” you smiled, almost forgetting the nature of the conversation.

“Hi, beautiful.” He disregarded the vulgarity for a moment, too, just so he could admire you. The blush that spread across your cheeks caused a smile to break out on his lips, too. He noted the wine glass in the frame before his eyes inevitably landed on your attire, the adoration in his eyes quickly fading into lust. The distant look let you know that he was already imagining what was beneath the flimsy red fabric. Remembering what lie beneath. As much as his expression enticed you, you couldn’t let him get away with it without making a comment.

“Eyes up here, Jacob.” You scolded, catching his attention again.

“Expect me not to stare when you look like that?” He asked, a smile still lingering on his lips. “Sadist.” He smirked, the word bouncing between you both, accompanied by pointed fingers and accusatory tones. Perhaps both of you were the sadists by continuing your entanglement without caution or worry about the future.

“I know how much you love the red, but I think you’ll love what’s underneath it, more.” You said, eyes never leaving his face. You could see the muscle in his jaw tense at the thought, proving you were correct.

“I think red is your colour, sweetheart.” He noted, disregarding your words. As bad as he wanted you to remove the clothing, he’d be caught dead before admitting you were right. “Sit back, baby. Let me see the rest of you.” The order was firm, making sure you knew that it was not a request. You propped your phone against the wine bottle, obeying the instructions and leaning back in your chair, allowing him a better view. He let out a sigh, content with the sight of your mostly exposed upper body.

“Like this?” You asked, bringing your hand to your chest and gently running your fingers over the edge of the cup on your bra, gently pulling it down in the process. It was enough to tease him, but not enough to show him what he was hoping to see. You let your finger linger for a second before releasing the hold. The fabric drifted back to its original position and you let your fingers trail down your bare torso.

“Just like that.” He affirmed, visibly bothered by the show you were putting on. “Be a good girl and take that off for me.” His plea was covered with dominance in attempt to hide his neediness, but it wasn’t working. Part of you wanted to give into the request; with the way he was looking at you, it was hard to want to deny him of anything. But, that little devil in your head was as angry as ever, now fuelled by the knowledge Danny had given you.

“Come over and take it off yourself.” You replied, trying to remain unbothered by his pet names. His eyes flashed with discontent, fed up with your continuous disobedience.

“You want me to come over?” He asked, playing into whatever game you were trying to start with him. You gave a nod, knowing that he wouldn’t be able to withstand the temptation for much longer. “You need someone to take care of that ache between your legs? To make you feel so good that you can’t remember your own name?” His tone was soft, sympathetic almost, but the flame ablaze behind his pupil and the slight tension in his jaw led you to believe he was being quite misleading.

“Yes, please.” You pleaded, ignoring your worry about his honesty. The arousal pooling between your legs was beginning to feel uncomfortable, like a constant, dull pain that would eventually drive you crazy. Something about Jake always led you to believe that life without him would lead you to the brink of insanity. The constant talk of want, or desire was quite minimal compared to how you truly felt about him. Necessity was closer to correct, depending on his touch more than your own heartbeat to keep you alive.

“You need someone to take care of that pretty little cunt,” he deducted, taking in a long breath at the sound of his own words. He was just as worked up as you, debating throwing his plan in the garbage and getting in his car that instant. “And you know I’m the only one who knows how to do it right.” He finished, finding the strength to stay seated and continue his merciless taunts.

“Please come over, baby. I need you so bad.” The words slipped out easier than any you had said before, the strength you had to endure his words was breaking apart every time he opened his mouth.

“I know, angel.” He hummed, soothing you for just a moment. You thought he was going to give in, to tell you he would be there in a minute, but when he spoke again, you wish you’d never started the battle in the first place. “I want to help you out, but you haven’t been very good for me. Being a tease doesn’t get you what you want, baby. You know that.”

“Jake, please. I’m sorry.” You begged, that feeling of familiar dread filling your stomach. “I’ll be good for you, I promise.”

“If I give you what you want, you won’t learn anything.” The irritation that grew from the smirk he was wearing was unbearable. You couldn’t genuinely believe that after the entire call, he would have the nerve to deny either of you the pleasure of spending another night together. “Go take care of yourself, sweetheart. Just think of me when you do.” Your teeth were clenched, frustrated that your efforts seemed to have no effect on him.

“Just come over, baby.” You tried once more, but his mind was made up.

“If you do what I say and behave, I might come and see you later.” So that was his plan; like always, he was willing to give in, but he felt the need to ensure you would suffer, first. “Another picture might help, too.” He sent a wink your way, so subtle that you almost missed it. Before you had a chance to respond, he had ended the call and you were met with the disappointing sight of your screensaver, wishing you had one more minute to admire the sight of his face.

You had two options: deal with the issue yourself, wait it out and hope he would feel generous enough to pay you a visit after a while, or call a cab and go to him, first. As much as the second option was tempting, you knew if you did so, it would only fuel his ego even further. He was well aware of the power he held over you, and running to him would only solidify the idea in his mind. Waiting to see if he would come over might do the same, but at least you would have the upper hand. By the time he showed up, your overwhelming need for him would have time to simmer. Then, you could give him a taste of his own medicine.

So you sat, sipping away at your wine, thinking that it wouldn’t be too difficult to wait it out. The closer the bottle got to empty, the more confident you felt about the situation. If he wanted to be an asshole, you could be, too. His request for more pictures would go unanswered, and he would have to give in. Even in your drunken state, you were aware of the power you had over him, too. Confidence did not equal satisfaction, though. You nursed the last of your wine until he showed up, or until you found something better to do, quickly realizing that time would not satisfy your craving for him. With every minute that passed, you hoped the feeling would fizzle away, but the more you ignored it, the worse it seemed to get.

Eventually, as you drained the last few drops of your glass for the second time (you had to make sure it was completely empty, of course), you heard a knock sound at the front door. A jolt of energy surged through you, realizing you had won the battle without putting any effort in at all. You stood, leaving the empty bottle on the table for decoration, and wasted no time following the sound of the knock. When you reached the front door, you ran your hand through your hair, straightening yourself out to look the best you could for him. Before opening the door, you ever so slightly peeked through the blinds.

In your drunken state, it seemed blatantly obvious that it was Jake standing outside. The tuft of brown hair that caught your eye was so familiar, immediately showering you with relief. But, if you looked for a moment longer, you might have clued in that opening the door in your current attire was a mistake. Had sobriety been in the question, you would have noticed the distinctive difference, how the body was taller, a bit more slender than the boy you were looking for. Maybe, it was possible you did notice, but we’re too blinded by excitement to cognitively understand that Jake was not the one knocking on your door. You wished to see him so badly that you overlooked any possibility of it not being him standing there.

When the door creaked open, you had a smirk on your lips, ready to throw his bluff back in his face. Instead of grasping the feeling of satisfaction for Jake’s failure, dread bled into every nerve in your body. It took a moment for both of you to understand exactly what scene you had found yourself in, but when you came back from the shock, you couldn’t even find the right words to express how you were feeling. Your limbs were frozen, unable to shut the door again and your heart was stuck in your throat. Sam’s wide eyes and parted lips showcased his matching emotions, also void of a proper response. Even in his complete surprise, he couldn’t help but feel his gaze drifting over every exposed part of you that was offered. If you wanted to be dramatic, you could even go as far as to say he was drooling at the sight of you.

After a moment of staring, you took a step to the side, covering as much of you as possible behind the solid door. “Do you greet everyone like that, or am I interrupting something?” He said, clearing his throat, joking to subtly to pass off his blatant gawking.

“Um, no… and no, I guess.” You squeaked, cheeks red enough to match the fabric that was barely concealing you.

“Expecting someone else?” The corner of his lip upturned into a smirk, finding humour in the awkward moment. He knew you were likely expecting his brother, but his cockiness allowed him to use the knowledge to his advantage.

“No,” you said after a long bout of silence, trying to sound confident. The alcohol was sending the devil in your head into a drunken rampage. Your plan to play into their game was bouncing around within your skull, urging you to take the embarrassing greeting and make it into something better. If Jake wasn’t willing to give you what you needed, you were sure that Sam would have no problem helping you out. If they wanted to involve you in their mess, you should have no issue using it for your own benefit. You were both playing with fire, but the heat was gradual; welcoming at first, and only burning you after the fact, once you were too far in to turn around.

“So I showed up at the perfect time, then?” Your anxiety washed away, even finding yourself able to produce a genuine smile at his ridiculously childish response. Your eyes drifted over his face, taking in the details of his expression. He had recovered from his nervous state, too, but his eyes were still glistening with appreciation at the beauty of you before him. You could have shut the door, turned him away with an apology and let the memory die, but his beauty was captivating, and you were drawn in by the way he was watching you. If you had found yourself in the situation with a lower blood-alcohol content, the whole thing would have been ridiculous and terribly wrong. Maybe it was the wine, or the brunch conversations that lead you to the conclusion in which you were headed towards. It didn’t matter, anyway, because you had already made up your mind. You didn’t want to turn him away; you were eager to let him inside.

“I think so.” You agreed, playing into him.

“Red’s your colour, princess.” He noted, trying to catch another glimpse of what you were trying to hide from him without being too obvious. Just another blatant show that Sam and Jake were in fact brothers, and brothers indeed. Too alike for their own good, and too foolish to see the problem. “You should wear it more often.” His voice was quiet, much different than his usual chipper tone that sounded through an entire room. You had never heard him speak in such a way, except for the small moment shared in your kitchen. It was enticing, perfectly alluring and dangerously gratifying.

“You should come in,” you stated, not as a request, but a fact. He watched you for a moment, attempting to convince himself that you were serious and not just pulling his leg. When you kept your composure, no hint of anything other than a genuine nature, he made a move towards you. Once he was inside, you closed the door behind him with little thought.

Perhaps too much carelessness for such a grave decision that would ultimately seal your fate.

Lousy lovers pick their prey

but they never cry out loud

TAGLIST: @itsdannysworld

[zoeykallus]

Hi again! Thanks for taking time out to read this. I have two requests so feel free to do both or either. First one is a little odd. Falling in love but with 99 as a virgin? Does not need to be sexual. Second is washing your bad batcher in a bath after they had a rough day and really taking care of them? (Maybe lots of sweet kisses for tech without his goggles or working out cramps in crosshairs hands from holding his rifle all day?)

Aloha! I did a take on your first idea in a way before, here. Not sure if this is what you had in mind. And as for your second idea, I really like it :)) The boys can certainly use some relaxation.

The Bad Batch x Reader HCs - Everyone Needs Someone Who Cares

Fluff/'Slightly' Suggestive

___________

Hunter

He sighs in relief, tired and relaxed at the same time, as he leans back in the hot bathwater you've poured for him. Hunter has had a hard day, his muscles and headache. You've taken extra care to make the bath additive as odorless as possible to relieve his senses a little.

You invited him to your apartment, where you have a real bathroom and a real tub, something Hunter rarely gets to see unless he's visiting. He has his eyes closed, enjoying the warmth of the water, the quiet.

Your gaze travels along his wonderful, toned body, over and over, looking at him like this, you can hardly believe he's real.

You hear his smoky voice gently, teasingly ask, "What are you looking at so closely?"

As you look up into his face, startled, his eyelids are half-closed, and a small smirk is on his lips.

"I'm just looking at this incredibly handsome man lying there in my bathtub," you say with heated cheeks and a shy smile.

Hunter laughs softly.

Your hands move to the back of his neck and gently caress it, then your fingers move into his hair. You take some shampoo and massage it into his hair. You take your time, massaging his scalp.

Hunter's eyelids flutter, he sighs softly, pleasurably, he's putty in your hands. You're not in a hurry, not at all, you take your time pampering him a little. When you finally wash his hair, grab a sponge and continue with his shoulders, he finally opens his eyes and says smokily, "Take off your clothes and come in here."

Echo

Actually, he has gotten used to the prostheses, at least mentally, but his body still has its difficulties with them. Incorrect posture and weight shifting often result in every remaining muscle in his body aching in the evening when Echo comes to rest.

Of course, you know about it, you can see it in his posture and furrowed brow. He doesn't complain, he doesn't talk about it, but you know it anyway.

One evening, you run him a hot bath, but Echo looks rather critical.

"I'd have to take off my prostheses for a proper bath with bath additives, soap residue can damage my joints. I don't know if I'm ready for you to see me like this," he says quietly, a little unsure.

"Echo, I love you just the way you are, with or without prosthetics doesn't matter to me, I knew about it from the beginning and it never bothered me."

He takes a deep breath and sits down on the edge of the tub, he looks at you hesitantly and asks you very softly, "Will you help me?"

You nod and say softly, "Of course."

Together you remove his prosthetics, legs and arm, then you carefully help him into the tub. Echo's pulse races, he pays close attention to your face, every reaction, the fear that you will now see him with different eyes, almost chokes him in the first moment.

But you smile at him, happy, loving. He blinks, then he smiles too.

"The water is perfect," he says softly, "The warmth will relax my muscles."

"Good, that's what it's meant for"

As Echo really relaxes for the first time in a long time, you gently wash his body. With a sponge, you stroke his skin as he surrenders to your tender care.

Wrecker

He is a big, muscle-heavy guy. Wrecker regularly has back and neck pain because wherever he goes, his surroundings are rarely adapted to his size, and in general, thanks to his enormous strength, he often exaggerates when lifting things. Of course, occasional aches and strains are bound to happen.

One evening you have massage oil and preheated towels ready when Wrecker comes to visit you in your apartment. He looks at the prepared utensils and asks with a smile, "What do you have planned for me today?"

"You'll see," you reply with a smirk, "Jump in the shower and join me in the bedroom."

While Wrecker is showering in your bathroom and you can hear him happily, singing loudly, you have covered the bed with an extra sheet to protect your mattress from the massage oil.

As Wrecker comes out of the bathroom, clad only in a towel around his hips, you can't help but admire him, his height, his broad stature, but more importantly, the loving, broad smile on his lips as he looks at you.

He flings himself springily onto the bed, almost throwing you off balance.

"So? What are you up to?" he asks with a sweet smirk.

You ask him to lie down on his stomach and Wrecker complies, stretching with pleasure and waiting. As you spread the warmed massage oil on your hands and start massaging his shoulders and back, he moans with pleasure.

"Mmmh, Mesh'la, that's a wonderful idea".

Massaging Wrecker is pretty hard work, his muscles are so massive and firm that you have to use a lot of force to massage them effectively. But it's worth the effort to give your beloved giant some relaxation. He is always so affectionate and considerate with you, he has thoroughly earned your care.

Tech

He rarely admits that he is tired, but some days it is still obvious. Tech solves at least a dozen problems of various natures every day and is usually up longer than his brothers.

On one of those days, already late in the evening, you're asleep on the sofa when he comes into your apartment.

"Sorry, I know I'm late," Tech says, smiling tiredly at you as you wake up and sit up, "I didn't mean to wake you."

You stretch, gently kissing his cheek and carefully reaching for his goggles. Tech leans back on the sofa, you can tell he feels leaden and tired. You move closer to him and gently pull off his goggles. Wearing his goggles for hours has left deep marks. His hair is a bit tousled. He blinks tiredly and rubs his eyes.

"But now I can hardly see you," he says wearily and wants to take the goggles from your hand, but you put them down out of his reach for the moment.

Tech blinks and feels for you, half blind.

"Where did you put them?"

You say gently but firmly, "Forget your visual aid for a moment."

"I- okay"

You lean closer to him, gently caressing his temples and kissing the marks of the goggles around his eyes. You hear him sigh softly, his shoulders slowly sink down as he relaxes and his eyes close.

One of his arms wraps around your middle as you lean so close to him. He enjoys your gentle touch with small soft sighs.

"You are so good to me, Cyare".

"My poor darling," you purr to him.

You continue to gently massage his temples, covering his face with soft kisses. Of course you notice that he is slowly drifting away, he is terribly tired. But that's okay, he has definitely earned some rest.

You can hear him whisper softly, "I love you", just before he falls asleep.

Carefully, you tuck him in and snuggle up by his side.

"I love you too"

Crosshair

He had been lying in wait all day with his rifle, and in the end he had not fired a single shot. He had lain in the dirt on the hill for nothing. Crosshair's shoulders are stiff and his hands ache.

He sits at your dinner table in the evening, rubbing his palms and fingers with a furrowed brow, letting his shoulders roll over and over.

You've just eaten, and you've cleared the table when you see him sitting there like that.

"Are you okay?" you ask cautiously.

"Sure."

You put your hands on your hips and look at him silently.

"What?" he asks reluctantly.

"The truth please"

He rolls his eyes but finally answers, "Muscle tension in my hands and shoulders, that happens a lot when you lay in wait all day with a rifle"

You lead him into your living room and ask him to sit in the large armchair. With a critical eye, he does as he is told, and he watches what you do. When you put a heating blanket around his shoulders, he looks at you questioningly.

"It's not cold"

"The heat relaxes your shoulder muscles."

You sit down on the armrest of the chair and taking one of his deft hands, start massaging it. Crosshair blinks, at first not sure how to react, but finally he leans back with a sigh.

"That's not bad at all," he admits, closing his eyes.

As you massage his other hand and kiss the tips of his wonderful, long fingers, he opens his eyes and shifts a little restlessly in his chair.

"Kitten, this is no longer relaxing but arousing".

You look at him and ask, "Does that bother you?"

His reply is a cheeky little smirk.

Ko-Fi (If you feel like giving me some coffee)

@rintheemolion

@andyoufollowyourheart @clone-whore-99

@brynhildrmimi @kaliel2310

@misogirl828 @tech-deck

@meshla-madalene

@chxpsi

@thebahdbitch

@nahoney22 @ladykatakuri

@darkangel4121

@ttzamara

@arctrooper69

@padawancat97

@agenteliix

@allsystemsblue

@palliateclaws

@either-madness-or-brilliance

@ortizshinkaroff

@andy-solo1

@hunterssecretrecipe

@heyitsaloy

@greaser-wolf

@extrahotpixels

@hated-by-me

@hunterxcrosshair

@malicemercy

@bebopsworld

[nehts]

Huh .

[brutal-nemesis]

E&T-Caring For Your Tiny Test Subject

Welp. (⓿ ◡ ⓿) I made more. Maybe real content will resume soon, but until then...tiny Erebus

←Previous - Masterlist

Ingredients: noncon partial stripping/nudity, noncon touching (unsexy)

“You know,” Neteri mused as she turned Erebus over in her hand, “you’re kind of filthy from your little adventure. Maybe I should-”

“No-”

“Yeah.” She tightened her grip as Erebus squirmed, looking down at him with a devilish grin. “Let’s get you cleaned up, lil guy.”

“I-I can do that myself Neteri you don’t need to-”

“I do need to because it will be so absolutely adorable.”

“That’s the dumbes-” Erebus’s protest was silenced as she placed one of her fingers over his mouth. He glared at her, debating biting her for a moment. She’d only have herself to blame if he drew blood...still, the last thing he needed was for his situation to get any worse. As per usual, Neteri was going to get what Neteri wanted and he’d just have to suffer through it. Even so, this...this was not going to be easy. Already, an awful feeling was stirring in his gut at imagining her…bathing him. He shuddered, trying to just put it out of his mind for now.

Once they got back to her office, Neteri plopped him back into the jar and screwed on the lid before taking him back to his cell. She set the jar on the desk and crouched down to his level. “I’m going to go get everything I need, and then I’ll be back, so you just chill until then, okay?” Erebus just quietly nodded from where he was seated with his arms wrapped around his folded legs. He tried to take deep breaths once he was alone, trying not to let himself get freaked out before it even started.

He would be fine. Neteri was always gentle with him as long as he was cooperative, so he wasn’t too worried about this experience hurting. He was far more worried about how much she was going to be touching him, about how exposed he was going to be, about how helpless he was going to feel. Not that he wasn’t already helpless right now, stuck inside a glass jar, but there was a whole new level of powerlessness in being held tightly in her hand. When he’d been his real size, he could always take comfort in his significant height advantage over her, the vague idea that he could easily overpower her if he tried. But now, she could do whatever she wanted with him with just her bare hands, and there was nothing he could do to fight back.

By the time she had returned with a relatively shallow bowl and a large cup, he had steeled himself for what was about to occur. Still, when she reached her hand in the jar, he pressed himself back against the glass, because he didn’t want this. “You’ll be alright little guy, the water’s nice and warm for you.”

“T-that’s not what I-hey! I can take that off mysel-”

“I’m sure you can,” Neteri said as she pulled his shirt off over his head, his struggles doing absolutely nothing to slow her down. “But this is more fun.”

“Not for me.”

“Who owns who here, Erebus? Now stop wiggling or I might take off more than your pants, and neither of us want that.” Erebus grumbled but stopped trying to resist, feeling his face flush at her bare hands against his skin. She poured some of the water from the cup into the dish before gently setting him down in it. He felt himself relax despite everything; the water did feel good and it’d been so long since he’d had a bath. Probably not since...since he’d lost everything. Maybe this would be alright…

Yeah, it felt sort of nice as she poured the warm water over his head with a thimble and started to wash his hair with two of her fingertips. He leaned into her touch just a bit-no no no wait this was Neteri she’d shrunk him and this was humiliating he wasn’t supposed to enjoy it, and even if he did, there was no way he’d let her catch on to it. He put on his best glare and hugged his knees close to his chest. Neteri laughed. “You always look so cute when you’re angry, but now that you're tiny it’s even cuter! You’re just perfect like this, huh?” She tilted his chin up, and he tried to turn away, but she forced him back. “Keep your head tilted back, I’m going to rinse your hair and I don’t want it to get in your eyes.”

“Fine.” She was always so unfairly tender with him, and part of him wished she would be rougher, that she would stop making it so hard to hate this. Even when she pried his arms away from his legs and forced him to uncurl so she could wash the rest of him, she was never anything but gentle. Fortunately (or maybe unfortunately? He wasn’t sure), the feeling of her fingers scrubbing his body ended up being more uncomfortable and invasive than nice, and it was easier for him to hate it. 

And he...he hated it, really hated it, so much so that he didn’t know how much more he could take, because he just wanted her hands off of him, not all over his bare skin, over all of his scars, at the same time. Erebus tried to squirm away, but there was firmness behind Neteri’s gentle grip, rendering his attempts futile. He was just as helpless as he had feared being, and he could hardly bear it. She was almost done, she had to be, she’d gotten just about everywhere and he wasn’t sure if his face could get any redder, if the awful feeling in his stomach could get any worse.

He fought back an audible sigh of relief as she started rinsing him off, glad that this experience was almost over. Once she was done, Neteri slid her thumb under his chin, tilting it up. “There, you’re all clean now.” She stared at him a moment more, stifling a laugh. “You’re all embarrassed it’s so adorable. I do wish I could keep you like this.”

“You’d better not-”

“No, no, I can’t, that would use up far too much of my magic power, shrinking you every day. And doing procedures on your tiny little body would be way more difficult and not worth it at all. But, a girl can dream,” she sighed. He rolled his eyes, relishing the fact that she’d have no idea that he did it. She released him, looking around on the desk. “I forgot to get a towel for ya; let me go grab one from your bathroom.” 

Erebus eyed the edge of the bowl as soon as she turned around. The sides weren’t that steep, and he could probably climb them, which would earn him a little moment of freedom, not stuck inside anything or held back by her giant hands. He stood and sloshed towards the edge, deciding it would be best to just try to crawl up the sloped sides. He stepped out of the soapy water, feeling confident enough in his first step that he immediately tried to take another, trusting all of his weight to his foot on the sloped side of the bowl.

A mistake he soon paid for. 

Still coated in soapy residue, his foot slipped on the smooth surface of the bowl, and his forehead immediately slammed into the ceramic. He managed to catch himself before his face slid into the water, and he just stayed on his hands and knees for a moment, staring at his reflection in the water as his head throbbed. Of course he couldn’t even escape from a bowl. Of course. Tears of frustration welled up in his eyes, but he quickly wiped them away as Neteri returned.

“What was that sound, Erebus? You okay?” she asked as she picked him up, examining him.

“It was nothing. I’m fine.” He crossed his arms, hoping she’d just drop it.

But this was Neteri, who rarely dropped it, and seemed to have a sixth sense for this sort of thing. “I dunno bud, you have a lil red spot on your forehead. Did you-” a mischievous grin spread across her face, “did you try to climb out and hit your head?”

“I-so what if I did? It doesn’t matter.” He looked away as she laughed, his face once again burning an unfair amount.

“It does matter ‘cause that is the cutest thing, oh you poor little dear.” She ruffled his hair with one of her fingertips before picking up the cup of clean water. “Alright, close your eyes while I rinse you off one last time.” When she was done, she set him down on the towel she had brought over and got to work drying him off. He let her, just wanting this whole thing to be over with. The towel felt so much rougher now that he was small...that was another thing he missed about home, how soft the towels always were. His sheets and pillows had always been so comfortable, too...he missed his father and everyone, of course, but sometimes he couldn’t help but think about all of the little things. 

Once he was dry, Neteri dropped him back in the jar before throwing a set of small, clean clothes on top of him. “Here, I shrunk those for you, and I think I was able to do it so they’ll get big when you do like your other clothes shrunk with you the first time. Just let me know when you’re done.” She held out her hands to cover the side of the jar facing her, eyes squeezed shut for good measure. 

“You’re good, Neteri,” Erebus called once he’d gotten changed. “Are you going to leave me alone now?”

“Absolutely I will not.” She picked up the jar, holding him at her eye level. “You are at your most cutest ever in the world and I want to be here for every second of it.” Her stomach growled. “Also I have just realized that I forgot about food and neither of us have eaten since this morning and it is definitely past lunchtime so I am going to go get us some food.” She grinned as she set the jar down. “I can give you tiny food oh I’m so excited!” She dashed out the door, calling “I’ll be right back!”

Erebus couldn’t say he wasn’t happy to get something to eat, but he could do without the way Neteri watched him the entire time, occasionally gasping at stupid things like him ripping off part of the chunk of bread she’d given him. She’d shrunk most of his food, so he ate it like normal, but for some reason she tore off a piece of her normal sized flatbread and gave it to him, and there was no way he was just going to bite into something so big. He’d lost a lot of his dignity over these past few months, but he still wasn’t a savage. Besides, she was making him drink out of a thimble, which was demeaning enough. 

She put him back in the jar while she took care of their plates and cleaned up from bathing him. He laid on his back and stared at the ceiling, wondering what stupid thing she had planned next. It would be foolish to assume she wasn’t going to spend the rest of the day bothering him and teasing him and holding him in her hands, since she’d made it very clear how much she was enjoying this. Nothing would be worse than the bath, though. He hoped. 

Once she returned, Neteri picked him up from inside the jar and just stared at him intently. Erebus narrowed his eyes. “What are you thinking?”

“I’m just trying to decide what to do with you next.”

“You could put me down.”

“Or I could hold you in my hand forever.”

“No.”

“I think I will do that.” She sat down on his bed and laid back, pressing Erebus against her chest, her hand on his back pinning him down on his stomach. His wiggling was, as always, completely useless. He sighed, trying to make himself comfortable and pretending he was just lying on a bed or something. Neteri rubbed her thumb soothingly up and down his back, and soon enough he...found himself...getting tired...

~~~

Neteri resisted the urge to jump up in delight as she watched little Erebus fall asleep on her chest. She’d just wanted to lay down and hold his tiny body for a few minutes, but she’d expected him to struggle longer or glare at her the whole time, not take a nap. Not that it was unwelcome, not at all, he was so precious like this, and there was no way she’d move until he woke up. She continued stroking his back, smiling down at her little test subject. 

She was going to enjoy every moment she had left while he was small.

Tags: @as-a-matter-of-whump @yet-another-heathen @galaxywhump @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi @whumpasaurus101 

[kasey-writes-stuff]

Woo fic 3 of 3! This was really hard to write ahh I just struggled a lot because I had the proper idea it was just rough executing it ahh I hope you all enjoy it! There’s not a lot of dialogue so ahh anyways enjoy!

Punz had come up with a new mod that was meant to add new mobs to the game but little did everyone know they were a very special kind of new mob… To be specific they were tickle mobs! They basically replaced all the violent mobs with mobs that would simply tickle you instead of hurt you! There was one where it was very feathery all over and it’s finger nails were replaced with feathers. One with a very fluffy tail and wings, it’s finger nails were claws not overly sharp but still pointed enough to tickle like crazy! Another which had pockets on its body filled with all kinds of tools and so many others but these are the main three!

Punz was very excited to have people try out his new mod! He just knew it was going to be so fun to watch everyone’s reactions as they realize just what the new mobs do! He bounced on his heels a bit as he waited for everyone to show up suddenly he saw George approaching in the distance! He waved trying to hold back his excitement and seem more like his casual laid back self “hi George!”

George waved back excitedly “hi punz!” He quickly gave the taller a small hug “so what’s this new mod?” Punz smiled softly as he hugged him back “oh you’ll find out once the others get here and once night time hits” and just as he said that up walks karl smiling happily as he waves at the two

“Hi guys!” They both wave back as they tell him hello, he engulfs each of them in a hug that should not feel as bone crushing as it is given his small size either way though they are very happy and grateful each and every time they get a Karl hug, Karl bounced up and down very slightly as he asks “so what’s the new mod do?” George shrugs “Punz said we’ll see once everyone else gets here and once it’s night time!” Karl nods understandingly as he says “okay! How long til everyone else shows up?” Punz now shrugs as he says “I’m not sure probably not much longer we’re just waiting on Eret”

Just as he says that up walks eret, smiling softly as she waves to everyone “hi guys!” Everyone smiles back as a chorus of hi’s break out, “So what’s the new mod?” Punz holds back a smirk “Well everyone’s here now but we just have to wait a little longer for it to turn to night time and then you’ll all see what it is” Eret nodded “Alright sounds cool so what are we gonna do until then?” Punz shrugs “uh I don’t know truth or dare?” Karl nods “Yea sounds good to me” George also shrugs “Yea sure” And so in no time at all it seems it’s already night!

Punz stands up clapping excitedly “Okay guys it’s officially night time! That means the mod should start working anytime now!” Karl tilts his head “But punz you still haven’t even told us what the mod is!” George nods “Yea how are we supposed to be prepared if you don’t tell us anything” Punz smirks a bit “Well that’s part of the fun is keeping you guys off guard! Don’t worry I can tell you guys it’s nothing that will hurt you or make you cry or anything-“ he paused and corrected himself “Well I take back the not making you cry because you might cry from laughter”

Suddenly there was a loud rustling in the trees behind them all, everyone turns towards them looking curiously waiting to see what might come out suddenly out comes the creature with feathers for finger nails, a fluffy tail and wings! The guys eyes widen as they turn towards punz, Karl quickly asks “Punz what the honk is that thing?!” Punz laughs softly “Oh you’ll find out soon enough” suddenly the creature has flew right behind Karl it’s tiny feathers begin wiggling on his neck making him squeak before falling into giggles as he twists his head around “EEKK NO hehehehhahahahHHEHEHhahhahaha wwwwwhhhyyyy ihihihisss IHIHITTT dohohihihinnggg tthhihihisss!”

Punz grins excitedly seeing the mob functioning properly “Because Karl that’s what it was made to do, the mod I made replaced all hostile mobs with tickle mobs!” Eret and George both nervously shout “WHAT?!” George shakes his head “Is that the only one or is there more?” Punz shakes his head “Theres more but most are rare so there’s probably only two others you guys will get to see for right now, oh look there comes one now!” Eret and George turn suddenly seeing a creature with many pockets surrounding its body and they couldn’t see inside the pockets due to being so far away but inside the pockets were plenty of tickle tools! George quickly pushed Eret towards the creature causing for Eret to yelp and stumble right in front of it!

George wasn’t getting out of anything though… because a final monster emerged from the shadows! One with a fluffy tail and wings, and claws instead of nails which we’re sure to be extra tickly!

And so with that the real fun began! Karl was laid on the ground the monster sitting beside him as it’s feather tips danced in his armpits making him giggle squeakily as he squirmed around! Eret wasn’t much different the monster sitting beside him as well as this one fingers danced along his ribs, at times rubbing in between the bones making him squeal through his laughter! George’s monster also opted to sit beside him! One hand held both of George’s above his head as the monster curiously was swirling a claw around George’s tum button making him shriek as he fell into loud cackles!

Punz sat idly by enjoying his creations and seeing them work so well, suddenly he felt a tiny feathery sensation on his neck! He quickly covered his mouth in an attempt to hide his blush and giggles but it was no use as the sensation seemed to multiply causing for more giggles to slip out as little snorts escaped when the sensation migrated to his ears and cheeks! He forgot about the tiny nearly unvisible feathery bee like creatures! That must be what’s currently attacking him! Never the less he sat there not actually minding the sensation too much…

On Karl’s side his monster switched to now curiously squeezing his sides making him squeal and jump as he fell into soft laughter! Eret’s monster had grabbed two electric toothbrushes and held them in Eret’s armpits! Eret shrieked with laughter as his arms were involuntarily locked to his sides as he rolled back and forth! George’s monster now had switched to blowing raspberries on the poor boys neck while also vibrating into his armpits! George was a mess of snorts and squeals as he babbled out protests!

Punz monsters monsters had begun to move to the back of his neck making his giggles die down slightly as he wiggled non stop at the ticklish feeling! His giggles didn’t stay quiet for long though…. Karl’s monster sensed him reaching his breaking point and began to slow to a stop, as it did it realized it was still hungry! It looked around and noticed punz not giggling much and decided to go after him! Karl gratefully took in air as he giggled residually before sitting up, did he see the monster going straight for punz? Yes, was he going to warn him? No, not because Karl is cruel but because he wanted to see Punz’s reaction! Okay so maybe he’s a tiny bit cruel…

Punz’s eyes widened as he looked up and suddenly saw the monster previously on Karl was now directly in front of him! The monster smiled at him as without a single sound it reached out and took punz into a gentle backwards hug! The small bee line creatures moved in front of punz, the bigger monster smiled at them as he lifted Punz’s shirt! Punz immediately began wiggling and babbling protests as he giggled in anticipation but it was no use! The small be like creatures swarmed his stomach! A couple even dipping into his tum button making him squeal before falling into laughter!

As if that wasn’t enough suddenly Eret snd George’s monsters sensed them reaching their limits and they too were still hungry so they each slowed to a stop leaving George and Eret all giggly like Karl was earlier! Eret’s monster looked through its pouches looking for just the right tool and it found it! I feather tipped pen! It grinned as it began writing on Punz’s cheeks making squeaks join in with his loud laughter! The monster wrote “ticklish cheeks” on both sides of his face! George’s monster took place at Punz’s legs! One hand began squeezing his thigh while the other scribbled at the back of his knee!

Punz let out a small screech before falling into silent laughter and that was the monsters cue to stop! Looking at the sky it was nearly day time! And seemingly as quickly as they came they were gone! Karl,Eret and George all surrounded a curled up giggling punz smiling happily and brightly flushed faces and all! Soon enough his giggles finally stop and he uncurled himself, suddenly Karl broke into giggles “ahhahaha” Punz turned to look at him “what? What’s so funny?” George and Eret then noticed as well and began giggling their ownselves! Eret through their giggles pulled out a small mirror and handed it to punz, punz quickly took it and looked at his face… his cheeks flushed a bright red as he grumbled and handed Eret back their mirror

Karl couldn’t help himself as he noticed a stray feather on the ground, he curiously ran it along Punz’s left cheek making him squeak and giggle “eek! Kahhahrrrll!” “Hehe sohohorryyy punzie I just had to see if what the monster wrote was true” he dropped the feather a few moments later and Punz’s giggles stopped once more and he rolled his eyes fondly “So did you guys enjoy the mod?” They all blushed embarrassedly as they nodded and shyly mumbled a chorus of yes, punz smiled nodding “I guess I did too…” They all awed and karl quickly pulled all of them into a group hug! George smirked a bit an idea coming to mind “You know we should have dream, sapnap and Quackity come try this mod soon..”

Eret nodded in agreement “We should! What about tomorrow night?” Punz nodded “sounds good to me if you all can get them rounded up I’m down” George nodded “alright it’s settled then tomorrow night it is!”

And so they all went their separate ways excitedly thinking about what was to come

[imaginingmyloki]

A Shift in Reality

Fandom/universe: Marvel

Pairing: LokixReader

Timeline: AU marvel where its after Ragnarok so Loki keeps his character development and no one dies because infinity war/end game never happened :)

Word Count: 2140

A/N: So this is the first non-requested fic I have written in a long time. Reader’s powers are essentially Daisy Johnson’s powers (earthquake/vibrations for those who haven’t seen agents of shield- if you havent seen it I HIGHLY recommend it!  If any part of reader’s powers being used for certain things get confusing I’ll try to link a youtube video of Daisy using her powers doing the same thing to see a visual of it! But here’s an overview video of her using her powers to do a lot of really cool stuff if you’re interested :) not at all relevant to the story but I have a MAJOR crush on daisy haha). I’m already working on part 2 and it should be posted early next week! Anyways, I hope you guys like it :) and requests are open so if you have any let me know!

“Kid, where are you?” Stark came over coms sounding like a frantic father. “I’m fine, Tony. I’m 26 and I don’t need a babysitter.” I had only been with the team for a couple months. Tony had found me in rough shape, running after escaping from Hydra. After a few weeks healing and training, I had been allowed to go on a few easy missions with the team but always had to stay with someone since I was still learning to control my abilities. Hydra didn’t teach me control, they only taught me to use anger as the driving force behind my power and with powers like mine, that could get dangerous quickly. This was my first mission where I wasn’t instructed to stay with someone the entire time. I still ended up walking with Loki for the first few minutes after everyone splitting up. He and I had become friends since I had moved to the compound. He was the only one who didn’t look at me like he was waiting for me to break or pestering me to talk about what I had been through before joining them. It was supposed to be a simple mission just to gather some intel from an old shut down Hydra base. I turned down a hallway that had a door at the end as Loki turned down one on the opposite side of the corridor. He gave me a nod before we went our separate ways as if to reassure me that I could handle this. I made my way towards the door and realized that it was slightly open and I could hear low talking inside. I paused just outside the door to listen, “There’s at least 6 of them here and probably more outside for backup. We need to hurry up and wipe the server and blow the rest of it.” 

I tried to warn Loki over coms but didn’t get an answer so slowly made my way into the room, staying out of sight of the two men sitting at the bank of computers. As I snuck around a large shelf, something came into view. A bomb that had a timer on it and was counting down. It was hooked to multiple, smaller impact bombs that would go off after the initial explosion disturbed them.This would cause catastrophic damage to the building. We had 2 minutes until it would bring the building down on top of everyone inside. Giving up on staying hidden, I stepped out, hands at the ready, and said “Stop the bomb. Now.” The man at work on the computer continued what he was doing and the man who had an air of authority about him slowly turned to face me and the air in my lungs suddenly went cold. His name was Nelson and he was the man that had been in charge of me when Hydra had me captive. It took everything in me to remind myself that I was in control of myself and I didn’t need to tell him that I was ready to comply with whatever orders he would give me. I was free now and there would be no punishments for disobeying. “Well now if it isn’t my most promising weapon of mass destruction. We’ve been looking for you. The boss is not happy with me for losing you. You took out quite a few high value assets on your way out.” He was smirking and the look on his face made me feel like I was missing a piece of the puzzle. With coms still silent and no sign of anyone coming to help me, the fear started to sink in and the room around us started trembling as I began to lose control of my powers. Nelson chuckled, “Still having trouble controlling the fear, I see. Guess we didn’t quite beat that out of you yet, huh?” I glanced quickly at the timer, a minute and 15 seconds left. Loki suddenly came running into the room, a knife in both hands. Before I could say anything to him, the knives left his hands with a swift flick of his wrist. One took out the man at the computer and the other landed in Nelson’s shoulder. “Go, Loki. Get everyone else out of here.” He ignored me and sent a warning out to the others over coms. Mine was apparently the only one not working. I heard Nelson let out a short laugh at my confusion. “Of course we knew you were here, 9213. We may not be able to hack all of Stark’s tech but we can manage to fry a single com unit.”  Hydra didn’t refer to any of their assets by names. It was either “soldier” for those that they tried to replicate the winter soldier on or by your file number. I was file number 9213. Just as I was about to respond, the bomb went off. Without thinking, I dove towards it and used my powers to contain the explosion. Loki punched Nelson, knocking him out. The exertion of trying to hold the explosion in place was starting to get to me. “Loki, I need to let this go. Is everyone out?” he nodded and I told him to go as well. He didn’t move but I couldn’t hold it anymore so I pushed it as far as I could in the opposite direction of Loki. The force of the explosion threw me into the shelves and just before everything went black I realized that Nelson was nowhere to be seen.

                                              --2 weeks later--

I sighed in frustration as I rolled over and adjusted the pillow for what felt like the hundredth time. Every single time I lay down and close my eyes to sleep since we got back from the mission, I can hear a rhythmic humming noise but when I open my eyes to try and find the source of the noise, it disappears. Giving up on sleep, I made my way to the kitchen for a midnight snack. “Oh for fucks sake, why does Thor keep putting the Oreos on the top shelf?” I grumbled to myself as I climbed up on the counter to reach my favorite cookies and heard a low chuckle behind me. “Need some help with that, Love?” I turned around with my arms crossed and looked down at Loki from where I was standing on the counter. “You could have offered before I climbed up here...” I pouted. After grabbing the Oreos and Loki helping me down from the counter, we sat on the couch together. Loki was almost always awake late at night so we had developed a sort of routine. We sat and talked for a few hours about everything or we sat and read together. Tonight was a reading kind of night but after a few minutes of comfortable silence he said “So what’s been keeping you up this late, Darling? Sleepless nights are my forte but before recently, I rarely saw you up and about after midnight.” I didn’t know how to explain the nonexistent noise that was plaguing me and keeping me awake without sounding crazy. After a few minutes of quiet contemplation I sighed and said “Ever since we got back from the mission a couple weeks ago, I hear this humming noise whenever I am trying to sleep but its almost like I’m hearing it through a wall. It’s muted but loud at the same time.” He gave me a look of concern “You hit your head pretty hard on that mission.. you were knocked out until we got back home to the compound. You should talk to Banner and make sure you’re ok.” I told him I would talk to Banner when he came down from his room. The sun was just starting to rise and I wanted to go up to the roof to enjoy the peace that always comes with the way the sun slowly chases the darkness away. 

I had been up on the roof for an hour, enjoying the quiet with my eyes closed and my face turned towards the sun. This was my favorite place to meditate and destress. After relaxing and getting my mind to go blank, I started to hear the noise again. Instead of immediately opening my eyes like I had been at night, I tried to focus on the noise to see if I could tell what it was. The humming noise started to die down some and I started hearing a slight beeping in its place. Just as I was about to give up, I heard a familiar voice say “(Y/n)? Can you hear me?” but when I opened my eyes there was no one on the roof with me. With the addition of hearing voices added to my list of problems I decided to give up on meditating and head down to the clinic to see Bruce. When I got to the clinic and told him what was going on he gave me a concerned look. After he ran a few tests, Banner came back into the clinic and I could tell by the look on his face that he was just as confused as I was. “Nothing in the tests suggests that there is any residual damage from the hit you took and you passed the hearing tests with flying colors so I don’t think that it affected your auditory cortex.” he said as he sat back in the chair across from me, rubbing his chin in deep thought. I could tell it was truly bothering him that something was wrong and he couldn’t figure out what it was or how to fix it. There was a knock on the door and Loki peeked his head in, “Are you alright, (Y/N)?”  I smiled at him and gestured to the seat next to me, inviting him to come sit. As he sat down Bruce said “So you said you only hear it when trying to sleep or when you let your mind go blank while meditating?” I nodded and he said “OK so I have an idea. What if we try giving you something to help you sleep? You can sleep here in the clinic so we can monitor everything and maybe get some answers on what’s going on with you.” He must have seen the hesitancy on my face because he was immediately reassuring me that I would be 100% safe and looked after at all time. Loki grabbed my hand and said “I will sit by your side while you rest and look after you myself.” This calmed my nerves a bit and I reluctantly agreed. After Bruce administered the meds and I got comfortable, I was beginning to feel pretty drowsy. Loki and Banner had pulled the comfortable couch from the library into the clinic and put nice cozy blankets on it for me. Loki had set up a chair next to me and was quietly reading out loud because he knew it helped to calm my nerves. As I drifted off to sleep the sound of his voice slowly faded and in its place was the humming. I started to notice more noises added to the humming. A steady beeping noise, hushed voices that I couldn’t quite make out, and I swear I could hear someone snoring. I reached up to scratch my nose and heard a gasp. “She moved. (Y/n)? Are you awake? Can you hear me?” I knew that voice. Why did I know that voice? I slowly opened my eyes and looked around. “What the hell is this?” I asked. My hand immediately went to my throat, surprised by how raspy and dry my voice sounded and the harsh feeling in my throat as if I hadn’t used my voice in a very long time. I was surrounded by strangers in white coats. “Who are you? Where am I?” I tried to move but realized I was hooked up to machines. Wires and IV lines getting tangled as I moved. The beeping was coming from a heart monitor next to my bed. I was in a hospital. Did Nelson find a way to take me away from the compound? I raised my hand in an attempt to use my powers and make a run for it but nothing happened. I looked at my hand in confusion and then searched the room for any kind of clue as to what the hell was happening. There was a small tv on in the corner that caught my attention. The team was on the tv. It was in New York and they were fighting aliens. “Is that the news? What happened?” everyone was looking at me. A small woman slowly sat on the end of the hospital bed and put a hand on my foot. The familiar voice from earlier came from her and said “(Y/n), honey, thats just a movie. Its your favorite movie. Remember? The Avengers?”

[the-goddessfighter]

[ Alien vs Predator Batarou AU - Part 1 ]

by: Little1993lamb

for: Temperans-sama / @the-goddessfighter Word count: 7252 Warning: Background characters' death. Some violence and gore mentions, but not too explicit.

Not exactly a fanfic but more of a long scenario AU headcanon. Caution for bad English and very limited vocabulary as I'm not native English speaker and still not fluent enough, OOC characterizations, and lots of inaccurate concepts compared from the movie plotline as this headcanon is just loosely inspired by it, so please forgive me if this not so good I'm so sorry 🙇💦

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This AU headcanon was based on my weird "Alien vs Predator" movie-like dream I had weeks ago. But for this AU, the story has slightly modificated to fit Batarou situation:

• Badd as a Spaceman, working for the extraterrestrial research scientists organization, unexpectedly met Garou in one of his mission.

• Garou as one of the Yautja/Predator warriors, aiding Badd on fighting against the Xenomorphs Aliens.

The other headcanon concepts, like Garou's concept designs for the AU, are written on the notes at the end of story below.

As I promised before, this is my present for you to begin the year 2021, Temperans-sama (and of course also everyone in the fandom). I hope you enjoyed this AU headcanon!

Let's get started! 😊😉👌💖

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Badd was working for Space and Extraterrestrial Research Organization as their Spaceman. Not as the researcher because he hates to work in a lab, he rather to do some actions in the field or outdoor works. There were several divisions for Spacemen jobs in the Organization, but what Badd specialized was the ones who could do fighting or combat. Basically like security guard to ensure the safety of Research Organization members. Sometimes he also being included in a rescue team when there was something life-threatening emergency situation happens.

One day, he got a mission along with his other coworkers in rescue team to save their crewmates, who previously were sent to investigate an unknown spaceship that was approaching Earth's orbit but then they were trapped in there.

Just after arriving on the ship and navigating their crewmates' location, they found a bunch of terrifying monstrous Xenomorph aliens attacking them. Battle was ensued, many of them died because they weren't expected these creatures' presence in the spaceship. None of the hostages crewmates informed them because turned out either they were already dead or incapable to send complete information to the base.

In the middle of fighting inside an alien spaceship, Badd finally met one of the hostage crewmates who is also one of his bestfriend and he joined to fight along with his friend against the creatures.

At the end of exhausting battle, Badd and that one friend survived on escaping from the ship along with some few other crewmates. When Badd asked him on a private room, "Why didn't you send help request more sooner?", the friend just answered, "Because I was waiting for this moment".

Badd saw his friend's appearance changing into an unknown stranger figure: a spiky white haired humanoid alien with heavily intricate armored body. Surprisingly, he is not so hideous like the other alien creatures but still has an otherworldly figure.

Badd was stunned when the stranger alien explained his intention using some language translator device on his helmet armor,

"Initially, my warrior troops were gonna invade your precious Earth but unexpectedly our spaceship was infested by those creatures you've seen before. I'm the Leader and the only survivor during the ambush and that's when your naive crewmates coming to our already wrecked ship. They sent SOS signal to your base when they were under attack. Because I want a chance for long-term survival, I borrowed your dead friend's appearance by shapeshifted as him".

He continued, "Luckily, you found me and think of me as your friend! I must gained your trust by playing along as your crewmate the whole time so I could hop into your ship together with you, thus fulfilling my intention to invade the Earth. Thanks for bringing me along, tiny human..".

The alien warrior ended his speech with a growling voice into the still stunned Badd's ear. Then he reached on his armor helmet mask and slowly took them off, revealing the true face of him:

A humanoid monster-like face with wide ridged forehead, intimidating-looked narrow hollowed eyes in which have round big golden-coloured irises, no nose, has these huge mandibles complete with two sets of long pointed tusks on them, and when they opened a bit Badd could see rows of sharp teeth inside. This alien warrior also has swept-back long spiky white hair, it was the most eye-catching feature on him.

Realizing Badd was observing his unmasked face, the white-haired alien suddenly snarled by opened his mandibles up in front of Badd's face to scare him. He wanted to test if this human would weirded out or cowering in fear from seeing his real appearance or not. But Badd only jolted back in reflex from getting surprised, without any hints of fear detected in his eyes. "You.. aren't scared by me?"

Badd was taken aback by the question, "Huh? Nah. I've seen much worse and it wasn't you, obviously".

"Not for a little bit? Nothing at all?", the alien didn't convinced by Badd's statement at all.

"Yep. 'Sides, I rather looked at your face than have to witness those Lovecraftian abominable creatures in that spaceship before. Hey what are you trying to do, by the way, huhh??", Badd could swears this white-haired alien just wanted to make fun of him. 

The white-haired alien just humming and nodding to himself, "Hmm.. You're indeed an interesting one.", as he placed his hand under his chin and rubbing it, it seems like he found some amusement in Badd.

Although he was indeed caught off-guard by the surprise snarl, Badd didn't afraid of him on a slightest, instead he actually was mesmerized by the alien's charm. Badd blurted out, "Are you gonna eat me?".

The white-haired alien just giving a funny look for a second and then grinning widely after hearing that silly question, showing all of his sharp teeth and fangs inside his mandibles, "No, not yet. Not until I know you better..", a chuckling sounds like a cat's purr was heard from him as he caressed the human's soft cheek with his long claws.

Badd frowned on what the alien had said, 'So in the end he will devours me if I'm not useful anymore?'. He didn't wanna think what he should explain to Zenko when the time has come.

When Badd said he didn't afraid to die, it doesn't mean he wanted to leave his beloved little sister alone, not when she hasn't finished her education in college and reaching her dream! Also, sure as hell not by being eaten by this strange alien!

Seeing Badd was slightly affected by the threatening words, he retreated his hand back. "Well I'm just joking, I never and wont eat humans, don't worry. They make a good prey but totally not good for consumption at all". Then he laughed loudly at Badd's dumb-strucked face. Badd started to feel pissed off: they both had just met and this alien already have the guts for teasing him twice??

The laughing finally ceased, "I think we should cooperating from now on. What is your name, little human?", the alien curiously asked, those bright yellow irises staring deep into Badd's rich dark chocolate eyes, searching for any hints of fear emotions but instead found some fire ablaze in them.

"Badd. My name's Badd, just remember whose human who had saved your sorry ass", he answered while removing the clawed hand that caressed his cheek, boldly swatting it away from him.

The charming white-haired alien quickly caught Badd's hand and clasped it with his palm, "Ooh a feisty one! Seems like I was right for choosing to fight along with you minutes ago, you're quite strong for a mere human. I like that. And you can call me 'Garou'. Nice to meet you, Badd..".

From the corner of his eye, Badd saw 'Garou' took something from his pocket. It was a small piece of the Xenomorph's sliced finger. He squished it a bit until the green-ish blood residue leaked out from the cut, then slowly moved it closer towards Badd's face.

"Stay still, Badd", the warrior instructed him.

"WHOAA NONO NO NO, GET IT AWAY FROM MY FACE!!", the young spaceman tried to swat that finger thing from Garou's hand and moved away as far as possible, refusing Garou's request.

"I said stay still! Calm down it's just a quick little brush", Garou insisted as he keeps holding Badd's hand to prevent Badd from swatting and moving too much.

The moment Badd's forehead being brushed by the blood as Garou carved a symbol on him, his skin sizzled from the contact of corrosive acid fluid and those left red scratched marks as the result.

"OUCH OW THAT HURTS! IT BURNED MY SKIN, JACKASS!!", Badd shouted then grimaced at the burned sensation on his forehead, he let out pained moaning. "Uuh.. What's that for?"

"I'm 'marking' you. You fight along with me, you even managed to kill those creatures despite being a human. Therefore, you earned my respect to bear an honourable mark from me," Garou smiled proudly at Badd, genuinely happy to find such a strong fierce human at the first meeting.

Badd didn't know how he should reacted at the explanation, but after seeing Garou's genuine proud expression he thought maybe it was actually a very rare honourable thing to be given outside his clan. From the spaceship window glass reflection, Badd could see the fresh carved scratched-like mark. He was admiring how neat the mark Garou has carved onto his forehead. An honour mark.

"Umm.. Honestly I didn't expected it, but.. Thank you, I guess?", Badd muttered while caressing his freshly marked skin.

"You're welcome, tiny human. So, right now we are heading towards your precious Earth, right? Do you have any spare room in your house for me, hmm?", Garou grinning confidenty, expecting for more interesting things from Badd after they live together.

Badd felt an impending huge migrane forming in his head, as well as the sudden urge to facepalm so hard, "... Goddamnit."

This would changed his normal daily life.

----------------------------

As the consequence of accidentally helping Garou, Badd must hide his existence from the Research Organization. So, after arrived back to the Earth, Badd must gives false-report for the base that their rescue mission was failed and only a few of team members were survived.

During that time, Garou made himself invisible but also could shapeshift into anyone for more advanced stealth tactics. Badd allowed Garou to live temporarily in his house, as long as Garou wont harming his beloved little sister Zenko and his cute cats.

At first, Garou forgot to shift into his human form in front of Zenko when Badd sneakily brought him into his house at late night. He didn't know Zenko was still awake at that hour because she was waiting for his comeback.

Badd wanted to smack himself after noticed Garou's big mistake, but after staring intensely at Garou for a full minute, Zenko just nonchalantly said,

"So you've got back from the space and you're bringing an alien boyfriend home? Hmm.. Not bad. Nice choice by the way, I always know your type, big bro", and she gives Badd thumbs up of approval.

Garou takes a liking on Zenko's bravery, maybe he could get along with her more easier later. On the other hand, despite his attempt at correcting Zenko that Garou isn't his alien boyfriend (yet), it makes Badd feels relieved that his little sister doesn't really mind of him bringing an extraterrestrial being as a new roommate in their house.

Garou spending most of his time at Badd's home by trying to learn human's behaviour and any other knickknack Earth-y things out of curiousity, that he slowly forgetting his original intentions and getting more interested on building a newfound relationship with Badd.

Badd also slowly growing fond of this charming alien, especially when Garou becomes more protective to him and his family, not to mention Garou actually learning humanity better than actual human. He was actually surprised that Garou had decided to develop a new "adaptive" form, in which a mix between his real form and human form, to help him communicate better with Badd while still maintaining most of his real appearance. Especially when it requires him speaking by human language more fluently.

Sometimes when Badd wasn't working or taking a day-off, they would spending time together at home and exchanged stories of their life. After Badd promised Garou that he wont tell any information to the higher up in the Organization, Garou explaining his life as a Warrior from his own planet, the secret history behind the invasion mission toward Earth and the super advanced technologies they owned compared with what human have currently.

It's kinda fun to have someone from another world to talk casually with, since Garou himself didn't have many close friends in his own troops. Not even to the old Elder warrior, Bang, who Garou regards as his adoptive father and his former trainer.

In return, Badd telling Garou about his favorite things, his childhood stories, his family including his late parents, everything about Zenko as he adores her so much, also about the reason why he took such adventurous yet dangerous job as Spaceman for the Research Organization. If Garou ever curious for some Earth-y stuff that he still didn't understand (as he called those things "outdated ancient stuff"), Badd will also explaining about them to him.

On special occasion, Badd would brings Garou and Zenko out to go shopping together or having fun on amusement park. He thinks it's good idea to take Garou with him and introducing many fun things humans usually do in daily life. It feels good to have a sense of having a full family again after he lost his own parents years ago. Besides, seeing how adorable Garou trying to enjoy human's entertaintments or bonding with Zenko was amusing.

To blending himself in public when they're going outside together, Garou usually shifted onto his "human-persona" so he wont attracts unwanted attention from people. But when he's around Badd's house, Garou just shifted back to his original form or his adaptive form since Badd loves it so much and wants Garou to be comfortable as himself at home.

Fortunately, it seems Badd's neighbourhood was inhabited by chill people. They never questioned further or suspicious about who Garou really is, especially after Zenko purposely introduced him as "her big brother's new boyfriend who just moved in from another city". Badd immediately blushed or flustered everytime they mentioned his "handsome boyfriend", as they also greet Garou warmly and saying that Badd was so lucky to have this gorgeous man as his lover.

Garou persistently asking Badd what is this "boyfriend" supposed to meant and why did Badd always deflecting his genuine questions while being all bright red faced with higher heart rate. Despite never got the answer, Garou likes to tease the cute little spaceman that he adores so much.

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After staying on Earth for months in Badd's home, Garou started to questioning himself.

Garou wondered if his original mission is really worthy or not, because in truth what he had said to Badd about the reason why he comes to Earth is not entirely true.

The real story was, Garou was just wanna visit the Earth for sportmanship and training himself to become the best hunter warrior. He was going to prove the Elites that he is worthy enough to get more superior rank that the one he currently is. That's why he also brought the Young Blood packs along with him to train them once they arrived on the Earth.

Until that accident happened because of a miscalculation: the Xenomorph alien larvaes that supposed to be used on humans, the supposed hosts, for initiation and hunting ritual were infesting his packs when they were still in the middle of their journey towards the Earth. Garou's plan was destroyed spectacularly, he lost all his pack members before he reached their destination. At least on the better side, because of that accident he could meet Badd along the way, so it feels not too bad.

On the other hand for personal fulfillment, he wanted to seek different challenges in another planets to polish his hunting skills and adding new experiences. So, the invasion plan was actually just his secondary mission, in fact it was actually just a bluffing. But it sounds like a more cooler way to threatened Badd back then. 

Not that he ever cares about human civilization and the entire human population in Earth, as he remains indifferent for them and regards them as mere weak prey for hunting sport. But he found out this one particular human is very fascinating to him: Badd. The more he interacted with Badd, the more he gets attached.

Not to mention lately Garou sensed something wrong with himself that only occured everytime they spend time or hanging out together, like there's warm feeling in his chest or sudden protective instinct whenever he is near Badd.

And while Garou considers humans are ugly, for some unknown reason he thinks Badd, in human's expressive language, is "beautiful". Inside his fierce hot-headed appearance, Badd has the kindness and all the sweet personality package in his heart. Which is total opposite with Garou, who is ruthless and cunning. Those contrasts has really melted Garou's own cold heart, surprised that he could managed to find such special human being.

Badd was supposed to be his prey, not a companion. If only Badd were born as the same kind like him, without doubt Garou was 100% sure Badd would be a perfect Warrior partner to fight along with, as he had already seen Badd's remarkable strength as a human. Such the best dream-like scenario ever that will never happens to them, but still very good 'what-if' situation.

The moment Garou saw Badd could kill the Xenomorph aliens alongside him in a combat and capable to defend himself, he respects Badd so much. It made Garou wanted to initiate Badd as one of his kind, a honourable strong Warrior. Or taking Badd with him to train as his personal human Apprentice.

For his bravery and incredible fighting abilities, Garou presented Badd a gift as a sign of respect for him. It was one of his exotic Yautja warrior's weapon collections that he managed to bring along in last expedition: an unbreakable metal bat.

Garou thinks it suited Badd's brawler fighting style, and because the bat made from special metal from his planet it can't be destroyed with anything on Earth. Except if it was smeared with corrosive acidic Xenomorph alien's blood, it would slightly melt. Whoopsie. But anyways, still an honourable thoughtful gift! Garou hopes he can witness the day Badd will using the metal bat in a combat.

Maybe it's not really bad he prolonged his stay on Earth for the sake of Badd and Zenko, although just for a bit. Garou wanted to have more "connection" with Badd before he continued the original plan. He wanted to know more about this special human, always being near him and protected him.

At least before the old man Bang realizing Garou has been missing for awhile after last Xenomorph attack and doing some search party for him by sending reinforcement army towards the Earth. 

------------------------------

At the same time on his workplace at the Research Organization, Badd was contemplating his life decision.

Badd was thinking why should he still insisted to hide Garou's existence? He could just secretly reported the truth to the Organization behind his back, handed him to them as new research subject and thus ended the Earth's next possible threat.

But that's so wrong!

Just thinking about Garou being treated as a test subject like some lab guinea pig made Badd's blood boil. Not that they can ever catch Garou and managed to survive from him, though, as he knows how strong Garou is. Surely Garou is an extra-terresterial being, but in reality he's not so different from human. There's also alot things that separated him from another Alien species he had encountered before.

Garou has a good heart and moral despite being an asshole sometimes. He's super intelligent and quick to learning something new, willing to cooperate once they're bonded over mutually trust.

Speaking of morality, Garou has better grasp of humanity than most people. Although he is a ruthless warrior, he wont bringing harm to those who are already weak or sickly people, unarmed opponents, childrens, or females especially the pregnant ones. Those are basically the Yautja Clans' Warrior Rules, as they only do fair fights. Badd thinks Garou's own kind are very cultured people, that's cool.

One thing Badd didn't expect before was the fact Garou is kind of "nerdy guy". He thought Garou was a ruthless jock-type warrior who only likes hunting or chaotic things, but in reality he is just the biggest nerd Badd ever known. Garou has always been curious about anything he deemed interesting enough, like human's lifestyle, social classes, education, or even the cuisine. Currently Garou is obsessed with martial arts and his homemade food, also when they're going out together he always asked for buying some fast food preferably with Cola for the drink. Truly an example of alien with unique taste.

The more Garou learned from Badd and observing people around them, the more he understand what human and their "humanity" is, both good side and bad side. Garou said he considered himself on grey area. But he would try to be on the good side, just for Badd.

About Garou's appearance, Badd never got scared of Garou's real form. In fact, he finds Garou in his full warrior armory looks charming and kinda handsome. He had seen Garou in the middle of daily training to sharpen his instincts during his stay at home, surely Garou got a lots of cool fighting techniques and movements, both bare-handed or with weaponry. Truly showing a professional experienced Warrior skills. Or when Garou shifted into the adaptive form so he can spar with Badd more comfortably without really hurting him.

Not to mention his unusually bright golden irises when Garou stares intensely at him, the way Garou tilted his chin up with those long slender clawed hand, that teasing smug grin with those sharp teeth show-off, and those surprisingly soft slicked back spiky white hair..

Yeaah okay, Zenko was totally right about him being into monsters. Fortunately to Badd, she wont and never judges his taste on men.

And Garou is actually a very good friend.. Or maybe more, if only his feeling ever reciprocated. Badd wondered if he could asks Garou to just stay forever on Earth together with him.. 

------------------------------

Badd was just coming home early in the afternoon from the work, as he only finishing yesterday's home paperworks and delivering it to the office. Time to get some rest after working the whole night filling the mountain pile of papers, Zenko still in school at this hour anyways so he would take a brief nap before picking her up.

Strangely, the house was too quiet. He usually hear some noises from across the room, whether it was Garou watching some tv programs or news or movies, or sneaking around the kitchen as he attempted to raid Badd's fridge contents (nowadays he often found out all the meat stocks or even any of homecooking leftovers in his fridge vanished thanks to Garou's huge appetite).

Badd tried to calling for Garou and checking on his room upstairs but there still no sign of him. He guessed maybe Garou went to their sparring place in the woods, training by himself to polish his hunting skill. Or maybe Garou was lurking on city downtown again?

Badd wished it was the former, he doesn't want Garou to make some trouble with humans when Badd was not with him. Even if Garou indeed goes to town he hoped he just do sightseeing or observing people from afar. Whatever, Badd will take a nap while waiting for Garou.

Just as Badd started to sleep, he heard the bedroom window clicked open suddenly. He immediately jumped out of the bed and grabbing his metal bat, ready to whack anyone who dared to sneak into his house like this. Nothing on sight, though, until some invicible force putting down Badd's metal bat and revealing it was Garou in his "adaptive" form, who just deactivated his invisibility cloak after entering his room from the window.

"Yo Badd!", he grinned widely, happy for successfully surprising Badd again. 

"Oh for fuck's sake Garou, please just use the front door! I already gave you my spare key, right? What if someone sees you and thinks you're a robber- Forget that, you were in invisible mode nobody could ever see you anyways, Mr. Ninja Warrior". Badd flomped down on the bed again, feeling ridiculously tired by Garou's antic yet relieved that his favorite alien is back. "Where did you go?"

Garou sets his knapsack down while explaining his disappearance, "I was so bored doing nothing in your house and my instincts will slowly dulled if I don't practice my routines, so I sneak out to nearby forest hoping to get some good prey for hunting practice. But it seems like Earth's creatures are not challenging enough to become my prey. It's either too small, too tame, too weak, or too pitiful it can't satisfy my hunting urge".

Garou sat beside Badd on the bed and stared at him, "Why can't I fight your people? It would makes alot things more interesting..", he whispered the last sentence with a naughty shit-eating grin on his face.

Badd propped himself up from the bed to grab Garou's arm and pointing his index finger in front of Garou's face, "No, I wont allowed you to do that! No hunting on humans, not on my watch. If you want some fight you can spar with me like what we always do. I'll take you on in a fair fight. Was that still not enough?". Was I'm not enough for you, Badd left it unsaid. He frowned at the though of Garou not satisfied with his effort.

"Ugh, what a let down, I would love to add human skulls on my trophy room when I get back to my planet soon. But your wish is my command, Badd. I promise not doing that for your sake", Garou huffed and rolled his eyes, but his tone softened. "About our sparring, while yes we can still spar with eachother, it doesn't fullfil my hunger for hunt. That's different", he shifted closer to Badd and gazing deeply into his rich dark chocolate eyes.

He continued, "You're not a prey anymore and I hate to see you getting hurt everytime I went overboard in our fights. You're my human companion, I only wish to protect you. But thank you for letting me spar with you every week, it was really fun", Garou touched Badd's forehead, where an initiation mark as fellow Warrior was given by him after their first encounter. Then slowly he put his clawed hand on Badd's cheek, caressing the soft skin gently while looking at Badd with much tenderness.

Badd just averted his eyes from Garou's uncharacteristically tender gaze, face heating from blushing too much as his heart-rate spiked. Of course Garou would know he was flustered by his touching words, he could see it by his vision, by the way. Not that Badd hated to be treated like this, in fact he felt so happy that Garou considered him as a human companion, a "someone special" for Garou.

"Umm yeah you're welcome, then.. Don't worry I know you will never really hurt me. Besides, I'm a tough guy, y'know? I can totally revive through fighting spirit and have another go with you", Badd placed his own hand on top of Garou's, letting the charming alien caress his face more. It's very comforting he loves it when Garou showing some rare affection to him.

They enjoyed the heartwarming moment until suddenly Garou moved away from Badd, "Oh I just remember something! Wait here", he let go his touch on Badd as he rushed to get his knapsack on the floor, picking its content and shoved it in front of Badd's face. "Here I got this for you, accept it!".

It was a flower bouquet. A simple makeshift one, but what made Badd astounished was Garou's choice of flowers: all of them were rare exotic flowers, which only grows on mountain or on the deepest part in forest. All of the flowers were wrapped by a wide green leaf as replacement for plastic wrap ('is that a banana leaf??'), and tied together by a thin rope.

"Wow.. Thanks, Garou, these are very pretty ones", Badd carefully took the beautiful bouquet from Garou's hand, still mesmerized by the exotic colourful flowers. He cradled it close on his chest. "Where and how the hell you get these flowers? I didn't even know that they grow or ever existed around our sparring place??"

Garou scratched his head, "After I got bored by pitiful failed attempt of hunting and start heading back to your house, I saw one kind of wild flower plant growing at hidden small valley near our sparring place. I though you would like it so I took some then continued searching for more wild flowers in the middle of forest until on the top of hills. Worth it for a passing time aside from going hunting", he shrugged like it was no big deal.

"But why?? What's the real reason?", Badd was honestly baffled by Garou's whole effort to flatter him.

"I saw from TV or on the street when we were going outside that you humans like to giving and receiving flower present as, what is that, "courting attempt"? Also you always go 'Aww that was so sweet~" or swooning like a fool everytime you and Zenko watched that scenes in some sappy drama movies. I don't understand why humans feel an enjoyment from getting a reproductive part of plant. Is that something meaningful behind that?", Garou raised his non-existed eyebrows in honest wonderment.

Badd tried to answer him, "Well.. It was--".

Garou continued his rants, effectively cutting Badd's explanation, "On my planet everyone courting their companion with a head or remnants of deadly dangerous prey, showing how great their hunting skills are. The more kill count the better. While your people giving a flower bouquet, a plant, really? You humans are just weird", he was shaking his head.

"So.. You didn't deny that you were courting me, right? You realized what I like and tried to do it for me even though you didn't understand the meaning of it, so that you can make me happy. Was that true, Garou..?", Badd slowly connecting the dots and stated the conclusion to Garou. He clutched the flower bouquet tighter, as once again he feels warmth in his heart. Not expecting the ruthless alien warrior has a soft spot.

So this meant his feeling is reciprocated? Garou feels the same as him? 

"What-- I'm-- Okay, you're right I was! There you have it now. Happy? Damn, this still weird to say..", Garou awkwardly confessed to Badd, not sure what should he says next. If he were in human form at that time, Badd was sure he was flustered heavily.

"Mmhm..", Badd hummed in agreement, as he placed the pretty flower bouquet on the nightstand carefully. Then Badd clung his arms around Garou's neck and pulling him down together with him on the bed, so now Garou was on top of Badd.

"Whoaa what are you doing?!", Garou propped on his elbows not to crush Badd directly with his weight. He wanted to protest but stopped himself when he saw Badd smiling softly full of fondness at him.

From very close distance, Garou could see how Badd's eyes are twinkling and the pinkish blush on his cheeks made Badd looked more prettier than usual. Those are something that made Garou was at lost of words when he tried to describe how beautiful this human is. His own companion.

Without saying anything, Badd released his hold around Garou's neck. He was caressing Garou's jaws and then cupping his face gently, before pulling Garou down towards him to peck his forehead. Looking briefly at Garou's softened eyes, Badd smiling again then finally kissing his lips. It was a light kiss but also a lingering one.

After a minute that feels like eternity, Garou released himself from the kiss and asking Badd in a soft whisper, "What was that for?". Not with the tone of rejection but instead searching for confirmation.

Beside the "human's courting", Garou also had seen this kind of acts on TV dramas or in real life, where a couple of "lovers" touching their lips onto eachother's for the purpose of showing their affection. So, he wanted to know if Badd was also meant it.

"Do y'know, when someone accepting the other's courting attempt, they would hug or kiss them. To show how much they loved and appreciated the other. I was doing the same to you, Garou.. You don't understand how long I was waiting for this moment", the raven-haired human answered while caressing Garou's face, the adoring smile still haven't leaving his face.

"Huh, I guess this proved what Zenko told me weeks ago was right, you have the hots for monster guy", Garou was smirking in victory, glad he was the one who captured Badd's heart.

"Don't be such a bighead, you silly alien warrior", chuckled Badd while he ruffled Garou's spiky hair. "You were the one who fell so hard on me, as far as making me your companion, swore to protect me in the name of warrior honour and do the whole 'weird human courting' for me. While noone ever dared to do the same as you. Admit it, you're a dork".

"What did you say?! A dork?? How dare you--", Garou offended complaint was halted as he processed Badd's entire words. "Wait, you said noone ever trying to court you before? Why? You seems more than average people in appearance or attitude", he showed pure confused look to Badd.

Badd gladly took Garou's appreciation remark before answering, "Have you seen my temper? Or listening on my way of speech? Or knowing my habit on ditching someone for Zenko if I'm not very interested in them? Nobody could handle that, Garou. Maybe except you, you're the only one who ever wanted me..", he pulled Garou down again for more soft kisses.

Garou hummed in their kiss, "Hmm, then it was their loss. For not considering you an amazing person". He swept the wild strands of Badd's hair away from his forehead, peppering kisses on it gently. Garou has learned it from Badd and now he tried to do the same for him.

"Aww thank you, Garou. Besides, I like my man being tall, strong, dangerous, loyal, and have lots of adorable soft spots behind the whole cocky bravado", Badd purred in bliss from Garou's affection.

"Says the one who said he hates skyscraper-like tall man. Which was the truth, hmm, Short-stack?", Garou lifted one of his non-existed eyebrow in amusement. He likes to tease Badd with that endearment term.

"Sssh it was for the public, lemme have my preference in secret. And don't call me a Short-stack, say that once more I'll bash your head using your metal bat gift!", he pushed Garou aside then hit his sternum hard enough before closing his eyes and snuggling his head on Garou's chest.

Garou just let himself being pushed aside while chuckling, "Whoa okay Short-stack, I wont call you with that name again-- Badd?", he found his companion looked sleepy.

"Mmmh lemme take a nap for awhile, there's still 2 more hours before I have to pick Zenko up at her school. Please staaayyy with meee..", Badd slurred the last line from sleepiness, he curled his body against Garou's own big body, snuggled even more closer to him.

Garou just taking Badd into his embrace, made sure his human companion feels comfortable in his sleep. He caressed Badd's soft silky raven hair, "So, are we 'boyfriends' now?".

"Whut are you talkin' 'bout? I already introduced ya as mah 'boyfriend' to our neighbours, right? Always has been..", Badd tried to answer despite getting more sleepier.

"Oh right", Garou nodded at the memory. So Badd was really meant it that way? Glad to know.

Badd purring at Garou's caresses on his head, "Mmhm.. Love ya, Garou". After the unconsciously big declaration of love, he finally went to sleep, peaceful smile still plastered on his beautiful face.

Garou was at lost on words again. He heard the Love word and his mind just exploded. Badd loves him. The human loves him, an extraterrestrial being.

Thinking about it again, is that even allowed? To love someone from different world and different species? He wasn't sure if the Warrior code would let him taking a human as anything else outside as a prey, an apprentice, or a companion.

Honestly this is the first time Garou received a romantic love, not a friendly love or familial love. Because as a warrior who dedicated himself to be the best hunter, romance is not even listed on his priority list. He can't say for other fellow Elites who seek love interests by charmed them with their hunting abilities, but for himself Garou doesn't even interested on that thing back then.

But with Badd? How can he rejects his love, not when this special kind of human is compassionate, wonderful and not to mention worthy of his full respect. Badd is also the only human who doesn't cower in fear in front of him at their first meeting. Even as far telling him that he adores his soft side.

Him, a ruthless hunter, a "monster", was loved by a kindhearted human.

"... I love you, too, Badd."

Garou whispered it softly into Badd's ear, he embraced the sleeping boyfriend's body tighter before following him into the dreamland.

Both were smiling in their sleep.

-----------------------------

-Few months later-

There was another new exploration mission from the Research Organization to obtain alien egg or larvae samples from the same wrecked spaceship on the previous expedition, so they could studying and observing the newfound alien species.

The newest mission was successful as the researchers team bringing the samples with them and be able to come back with minimal casualty. Thus Badd didn't need to join because he is working in rescue team.

At first week, everything was okay according to the plan. It seems the autopsy of larvae samples was successful as the Organization researchers have gotten some new informations from it.

Until an unexpected accidents occured during the second week of research.

The alien eggs samples in the special laboratory room were suddenly hatched and bursting out the new "facehugger" larvaes. Some of the lab staff were infested by it, while the other larvae strays were killed on the spot to prevent any infestation happening on more victims. Therefore the research was cancelled and the lab staff who became its alive hosts were quarantined until further notice.

The higher-ups were tried to keep it down so nobody outside The Organization know about this accidents. All the scientists and other staff members also tirelessly forced themself to solve this emergency situations. They tried to save the victims who currently become the alien's host, as far as preparing extraction operation for them hopefully it will have successful result.

But just a few days after that incident happened, all of the matured embrios inside the alive hosts bursted out from their body when they were still in the middle of intensive body examinations. The victims were died immediately, leaving a bunch of terrifying creatures that emerged from the wounds and crawling out attacking people in the laboratory.

Everyone was shocked by those horrible gorey sight, some of them were panickly calling for help while the others trying to escape from the room but stopped by the juvenile aliens' quick attack. When the security team came to rescue, most people in the room were either already dead from fatal wounds or barely alive still struggling to avoid getting attacked by the creatures.

The team quickly eliminate the rest of juvenile aliens by shooting it all, ensuring it wont leave past the entrance door. After ensuring no more alive aliens detected, they immediately sent the survivors to the hospital while the dead ones were sent to the Organization's morgue.

By this horrifying incident, the Organization executives hold the emergency meeting on that day They discussing how to solve this unexpected catastrophe during the research, how they should tell to the victims' family about the incident, or if this research are really worth it with these casualties. The higher-ups commanded them to call or reaching everyone who were involved on the newest expeditition mission, to make sure if there is nobody else got infested among the crew members.

Someone reported that most of expedition members along with other spaceship passengers on that mission have gone missing for days, and a few of them were found dead at their home with the same wide gaping hole wound on their chest. Two recordings from CCTVs on one dead victim's home clearly showed 3-4 Xenomorph alien younglings that just born or bursted from the victim's body, crawling outside the house towards neighbourhood area.

From those reports and evidences, it was confirmed that the crew members who participated on the newest exploration mission actually contained alive Xenomorph larvaes before they landed back on Earth, and somehow the infestation itself couldn't be detected because it was still on very early stage at that time. By the calculation of every "chestburster" larvaes that would be born into juvenile Xenomorph aliens from the total 30 suspected victims, it could be up to 120 individuals. And one of the juvenile aliens could be the next Queen that will reproducing new batch of eggs on somewhere else right now.

The plan has failed. This accident has shaken the Research Organization to the core as they prepared for worst scenario: the Xenomorph alien has already reproduced and multiplied itself inside or outside the Organization building complex. Not to mention they haven't managed to supervise the suspected victims current whereabouts prior the incident. Thus, as for the first step action to prevent bigger fatalities happens, they alerted all of the Research Organization members.

At home, Badd got the emergency messages from his higher-ups as he also explaining Garou about what was happened at the moment, that there was infestation of Xenomorph aliens among the researchers in the Research Organization. The higher-ups already deployed all of their hunter squads towards several different locations based on victims' last sighting or their home address. The higher-ups also instructed him to join the hunter squad for outside building complex area or near the suburban area to search the rogue Xenomorph aliens or at least for any survived suspected victims.

Garou suggested that he will also doing the hunt with Badd as it's the Warrior's duty to banish those alien species' existence, as it was their main prey. He asked Badd to always stay near him during the hunt so he wont get hurt by those beasts. Garou promised Badd that he will protect him, no matter what. But he wont promised to do the same for the others, no guaranteed he will helped them. Mostly they will be on their own. 

Both had agreed to eachother, they set their own combat gears. Garou wore his warrior armor and brought all his hunting weapons. Badd also did his part, not forgetting to bring Garou's metal bat gift, he couldn't wait to finally trying it out to smash those aliens' head off. He strapped it on his backpack, shoving all of other combat equipments on his car trunk, then driving his car out along with Garou towards their destination.

Before they go to the mission location, Badd dropping Zenko first to their neighbour family house to make sure someone watching over her and keeping her safe during dangerous situation. Garou shifted into invisible stealthy mode on their way to the squad assembly point, secretly blending with the rest of Badd's hunter squad members.

They started to investigate the forest near the suburban area which was previously has been reported for most recent Xenomorph alien sighting.

----- ⭐To Be Continued⭐ -----

--------------------------------

Notes:

So I made this headcanon because I had a dream which was strangely similar like the movie's plot, although not exactly same. Still don't know why and how I got that kind of dream since I haven't watch the movie again for so long 😅

The dream was about where I was accidentally saving the Queen of Xenomorph who infested my friend and took control of her mind, then turned out I must ensured the Queen's next survival 😱😰

But the difference between my dream and this Batarou AU is that I met a Queen of Xenomorph alien, while in the AU story Badd met one of Yautja warriors as I've decided to make Garou as The Predator instead. I thought it would be cooler than him being a Xenomorph alien, lmao! ✌😁

Coincidentally, besides getting an inspiration from my own dream, this AU especially for Garou as Predator also inspired by the fact we getting his Awakened Monster form from Murata 😳✨

Combining both the ideas, his Murata-styled Monster form and the amazing Predator figure appearance, WHAM, we got badass concept of Predator Warrior Garou! 👏👏😤

By the way, because I've made Predator Garou and his entire clans can do some shapeshifting as the more advanced hunting skill, he has 3 forms in this story:

1. Original form:

Exactly like the Predator in the movie, but the differences are the hairstyle, body build, and the ability to speak human language. Instead of dreadlocks, his hair is swept-back long spiky white hair. His body is more on slender-built than buff as Garou is an agile-type warrior, but he is so much taller than his canon-self, approximally 200 cm, unless he was shapeshifting into another form. He can speak human language in original form, but a little bit difficult to do it because of his mouth's structure so whatever he spouted when he talks would sounds like either growling or hissing. 

It's Garou's default form when he was among his own kind. Showed this form the first time he met Badd in rescue ship to threatened him (but failed as Badd didn't afraid of him at all), or when he was facing off some Xenomorph aliens in combat during the research organization's incident catastrophe.

When Garou revealed himself in front of the Organization executives at the next part (spoiler!), he refused to show his true face as they aren't worthy enough to see it, unlike Badd and Zenko. Hence he only shifted into adaptive form at that moment before Badd comes to defend him.

2. Adaptive form:

After living together with Badd for months, he has adapted into a new hybrid form, a mix between his own original Yautja form and human form. The result is like Monster Garou in Murata's style! No more arthropod-like mandibles with tusks, but instead human-like jaws with rows of sharp teeth and fangs (just imagine it like Murata's Awakened Garou). His hair is just like his canon-self with the iconic long horns-like spiky white hair, but at some point Badd cuts his hair shorter for more easier maintenance, so it now looks like Awakened Garou with short hair-style.

Mostly Garou showed this adaptive form when he was around Badd and Zenko at home. He knows Badd likes it so much thus alot of teasing, so he decided to make this adaptive form as a new default appearance during his stay on Earth. More practical to use as he doesn't do much hunting at that time, also the new set of jaws makes him easier to communicate by human language with Badd without his tech-armor helmet mask.

In this form, Garou still in his super tall self even though the height can vary around 185-190 cm, depends on the situation, ex: sleeping as he's a big boy Badd's bed or couch wont fit, so he'd shrink a bit. Sometimes Garou and Badd would spar at their secret place in the middle of woods using this form.

Despite the adaptive form is not quite suitable for hunting strong prey like Xenomorph aliens, Garou prefers to use it whenever he was training with Badd. Also, he can kiss Badd while in this form. Actually even more easier when he was in human form, it's just Badd loves this form more. Don't kinkshame Badd, he is one of monsterfucker, lmao. 

3. Human form:

Because he has shapeshifting ability, Garou can create his "human persona" everytime he blends into human crowds, especially when Badd asked Garou to go outside with him, occasionally also along with Zenko. Exactly like Garou in canon, but now with short-hairstyle as Badd said it suits him more. Garou interpreted it as a way to say "You look more handsome" but denied profusely by Badd.

He still maintained his lean-muscled physique like his other forms, but Garou shrink his height down into 177 cm because not only being too tall would catch many attention from people (Garou: "It's not my fault you all humans are just so goddamned short!"), Badd hated it when he was being towered by his own "boyfriend" when they're walking together in public. Although Badd accepted his tall monstrous height when they're only with eachother.

Badd's neighbours were successfully charmed by this "camouflage" appearance, Garou in a very cocky way tried it on Badd but it seems Badd only tolerates Garou's human form. Honestly, Badd loves his adaptive form as it shows Garou's own will to connect more with Badd while still maintained personal aspects of himself. Badd also totally didn't mind his original form as it was Garou's true face, and to be shown the real Warrior's face behind the mask is a great honour for Badd.

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I just remember that I've been in Batarou fandom for a whole year since January 2020, so you can think this headcanon AU as a new year gift and a thankful gift for the fandom 😆😚🎂🎁🎉🎊

Special thanks for:

🌸 @kaincuro​ and @the-goddessfighter​

Thank you so much for being huge inspirations! You guys introduced me about the beautiful side of Batarou ship via your awesome blogs and encourage me to also participating by sharing ideas to the fandom. Because of you, I managed to stay in this fandom for 1 year full despite 2020 being a hard year.

Thank you Cain, for being a wonderful person and providing us the Good Quality™ Batarou contents, both headcanons and arts! Whenever I'm on bad days and want to read Batarou stuff, I always go to your blog, it never fails to makes me feels alot better! Seeing your fluffy Batarou drawings and your amazing explanation on headcanon about them are absolute mood booster, it really helped me going through my hard days, seriously. So I wanna thank you from the deepest pit of my heart, because of you I could passed a difficult year more easier.

Please keep running your amazing blog, you're great and we love you! 😉👍❤🌸

Thank you Temperans-sama, for being one of greatest Batarou artists I've ever known in the OPM fandom and for your dedication on always working hard making many beautiful Batarou drawings to deliver to the fandom! Everything you've made are PERFECTION, really a God-tier artstyle. Not to mention your Batarou art always the Softest and Fluffiest! 😚👌💖💖

Thank you for kindheartedly willing to listening my super random headcanons or AUs, even as far liking it and drawing the illustrations for it, all of the arts are magnificent I'm so grateful for that AAAAA thank youuuu- *sobbing happily* 😭🙏💕💖 I feel so happy for being able to talk and sharing ideas with an incredible artist like you waaah THANK YOUUU!! Please accept my promised thankful gift for this year, I hope you like it 😚💕🎁♥

Biggest respect, support, and neverending love for you~ 😘❤💜💙💖💝💐👏

🌸 @lovelybutnot-ablankcanvas​ and @guby1620​

You guys are such very good friends during my stay in the Batarou fandom throughout the year, thaaaank youuu! Both of you deserved the best! *hugs tightly and never let go*

Thank you Eir, for being one of the most talented Batarou fanfic writers and most supportive understanding friend! I feel blessed to ever know you through your first Batarou fic a year ago, I still remember being one of your first reviewer and we shared alot of new ideas or random stuff. Now you already become a multitalented artist on both as fic writer and art drawing I'm so proud of you! 👏👏😤✨

Also, thank you for writing so many Batarou fic gifts last year, all of them are my favorite stories until now I really appreciate them! Keep being awesome, Eir, and yes you have my endless supports~ 😉💖✨

Thank you Ruby, for being a very talented Batarou artist with the most loveliest artsyle and I really admired you for that! You always have fluffiest ideas for arts and I love your handsome Garou + adorably sweet Badd drawings. I always enjoyed our interactions whenever we talk about our HCs, you're very easygoing and fun person to talk with, also you always successfully cheer me up with your cutest Batarou art 😉👍💯✨

I should thank you for liking my AU stories, even making one of them into a Doujin THANK YOU SO MUCH I didn't expected you would included the Reincarnated Demon/Angel AU into your long project I feel both grateful and honoured AAAA THANKS A LOT! *died from happiness* 😭💞💖💝

Undying supports and greatest appreciation for youuu, Ruby! I will always waiting for your new creations 👏💝🌸🌻💐

🌸 @garous-nipple​

I wanna say thank you for being one of the most talented Garou-centric fanartists in the fandom, you're amazing and I always love seeing your progress on evolving your artstyle throughout the time. You have great drawing skill and trust me you have already on the path to become next Murata! May this year will becomes Garou year as his inevitable comeback in the manga is near, so you will get loads of new art inspirations 😤👍💯🌟

Thanks alot for always accepting my requests or art idea suggestions! You absolutely deserved all of the best appreciation for your hardworks, we the OPM fandom are loving you 😉👌💖

I hope you enjoyed Garou's "the Predator" concept design headcanon as a humble new year gift from me 😆💝🎁🎉

And lastly for special mention:

🌸 @himbo-in-limbo​

I know we haven't interacted yet, but knowing that you love both Garou and AvP after stumbling into your lovely blog, I've decided to include you, too! As someone who only saw AvP once and not too familiar with the story, I honestly kinda embarassed of myself and afraid if my headcanon wont makes any sense so I apologized if there's alot mistakes and inaccuracy in here or if it's too OOC, please forgive me 🙇💦

I realized it's not perfect but I hope you like my concept design of Garou being a Yautja! Also sorry for the Batarou hints I hope you wouldn't really mind about it 😅😉💕💝🎁

(btw, all of your OCs are fantastic and very thoughtful-made! ❤)

----------

Once again I'm so sorry if my writing sucks, I wanted to share the idea but I don't have good writing skill at all please forgive me.. 😭🙇

I hope I can continue for the second part which is also the last part, it's currently on 1/4 way of completion. I'm currently stuck on the action scene why does it so hard to write battle scenes heeeelpp! 😫💦

So please wait for me, yeah? Wish me luck I could finished the story 😅🙏

Thank you so much, we will see again on the final part! 💖

-Little1993lamb-

-------------------------------

Temperans:

Anon! Thank you very much for sharing another fantastic fic for this fandom! Sorry for taking time to post it here. You know? My vacation will be over soon and I'm getting ready for TuT school

I would like to have dreams as interesting as yours, I hardly dream anymore, and it is nice that you can capture an idea from that. Honestly I've been a bit off these days, I miss our guys a lot and the way the webcomic is unfolding really distresses me (I'm so scared for Badd X'C). But your fic lifts my spirits every time I read it! So I wanted to reward your hard work with a drawing. I really like H. R. Giger's art and I tried to give that vibe to my art (I tried X'D). Thank you anon for always being there to support the fandom unconditionally! I hope you have a better year and health! 😘❤💜💙💖💝

[seokstrivia]

Sulit | jhs

(adj.) something worth it.

✽ Summary: He was your best friend which is why you didn’t think things would take a clumsy, and very messy turn of events, when you gave in to his endless pleads of pretending to be his girlfriend.

or, that au where you’re invited to Hobi’s sister’s wedding

✽ Fake dating!AU | M.list | word count; 6.4k

✽ Jung Hoseok x Reader; fluff, angst, mutual pining, smut, Hoseok has a big and loving family, jealousy, soft, slowish burn, best friends to lovers au, cliché

A/N I would like to apologize if this is a mess, I am a little rusty after coming back but I hope it is still enjoyable! 

↝ How you fell down the rabbit hole

When you said ‘yes’ to Hoseok, when you gave in to his endless pleads of playing pretend with him, you didn’t think you would fall in love.

Other than that, you didn’t think you would get into a heated argument with his ex.

↝ How it came to be

It all began a month ago when you were in the midst of a movie night with Hoseok. The both of you were halfway through a box of pizza with another movie playing on tv from your long, seemingly never-ending, list when Hoseok broke the silence.

He cleared his throat, tossing the hardened crust into the box before glancing at you, once, twice. He took a deep breath.

“Y/n, can you do me a favour?” After a moment of arguing with himself, his question finally left his lips. “Please?”

Your eyebrows furrowed in concern, asking for favours was very rare from Hoseok. He enjoyed doing things by himself, challenging every inch of his body and mind until he snapped.

Placing your own, unfinished, slice into the box, your eyes focused on Hoseok, “what is it?”

Hoseok gulped, eyes back on the screen ahead, this was harder than he thought it would be. But, then again, he never expected it to come to this when he told his parents. When he lied. Now, here he was, palms sweaty and continuously arguing with himself.

“I—I, er,” he took another deep breath. “Will you pretend to be my girlfriend?”

You stared at Hoseok in utter and pure shock, he wanted you to do what? Pretend to be his girlfriend? Was he thinking straight?

“What—Why?”

He was fiddling with the sleeves of his hoodie now, completely ashamed he’d let it get this far. Letting himself fall deeper and deeper into his white lies—lies that weren’t supposed to last this long. Go this far.

Hoseok sighed. “I might have told my family we’re dating.”

You couldn’t believe what you were hearing, he told his parents you were dating? Mr and Mrs Jung? Two wonderful parents, you grew up knowing? And they believed him?

There had to be a reason, right?

“Why did you do it, Hoseok?” You finally asked.

He’d been waiting for you to ask this question the moment he asked you the ‘favour.’ Even though he knew he was going to tell you the truth, and nothing but the truth, it didn’t help his nerves. At all.

He licked his lips.

“My mum was bugging me about getting a date for Dawon’s wedding, and I lost it when she mentioned my ex,” Hoseok ran a hand through his hair, getting angry as he thought back to the argument with his mum.

“So, I told her we were dating, which she was extremely happy about, but. But then came the endless amount of questions, and I couldn’t help myself from lying,” he told you with sorry eyes.

It was a lot to take in, but you supposed it made sense.

One, you were attending Dawon’s wedding anyway because you were invited. Two, Hoseok had been your best friend since you could remember. Three, it was the perfect alibi, and you hated that even you were convinced about how solid and easy it was.

“I can’t believe you,” you finally said after moments, that felt like hours to Hoseok, of thinking. “It makes sense—perfect sense, i’ll give you that, but seriously? Me?”

Hoseok cringed at the slight irk in your tone. He could tell you were upset, annoyed even, that he’d lied.

“Look, y/n, I’m really sorry for lying and bringing you into this, but please help me,” he whined, clasping his hands together while shuffling onto his knees and inching closer. “Please?”

Was he seriously begging?

“Please, y/n. Please.”

Yes, yes he was.

You sighed. “I need time to think about this,”

Hoseok eagerly nodded his head, your hands now hidden in his as he held onto you for the life of him.

This was not good.

↝ How you responded 

A few days went by and, as patient as Hoseok was, he couldn’t stand the idea of waiting another day for a response. All he needed was for you to say yes, that was it. It was that easy.

He sighed.

“If I hear you sigh one more time, i’m going to lob this muffin at you,” Jimin scowled.

Jin chuckled at the younger males dispute before glancing over at Hoseok, who had sad eyes and an evident pout formed over his lips, as fun as it was to watch his friend struggle, something obviously had to be done.

Lucky for Hoseok he had Jin.

“I don’t blame y/n for taking this long to get back to you,” Jin said gaining both males attention. “She’s clearly so appalled by the idea of pretending to be—“

Jimin stuffed the chocolate muffin into Jin’s mouth. Cringing at the words he was hearing, there was no need for him to take it that far and hurt their friend, he thought while wiping the chocolate residue off his hand.

Jin laughed as he swallowed the muffin, “I was kidding.”

The shorter male glanced over at Hoseok—who hadn’t said anything after telling them what he’d done. There was still a pout formed on his lips while he stared at nothing in particular.

“Hoseok,” Jimin sighed with a shake of his head, hand on his friend's shoulder. “She’ll get back to you, just give her some time.”

The said boy finally breathed out all the air he was holding in his lungs and glanced over at his friends. They both held sympathetic smiles, but, their genuine gazes let him know that they were here for him whenever he needed them. Hoseok knew that, and he knew it well.

Fortunately, Jimin was right when he said you’d get back to him with an answer. You were at his front door with a box of cookies in your hands and an annoyed scowl on your face.

“Mum made cookies,” was all you said before pushing past him. “She wanted me to let you know that she made them with you in mind.”

“She did?”

That was all Hoseok could utter out. He was still nervous about your response, what would he tell his family if you said no? ‘Y/n and I broke up because we were never actually dating?’ Yeah right.

You opened the Tupperware lid without saying anything and pushed the container over to your friend. There was a small smile on your lips now, eyes gazing into his with a slight undertone of, ‘you know I can’t stay mad at you.’

Hoseok took a cookie and smiled in return before taking a bite. They were as light and rich as he remembered them to be, your mum would always bake cookies whenever he came around. He missed those times. A lot.

“What’s the occasion?” He asked mid-chew.

Hoseok also remembered that your mum baked cookies when there was a special occasion.

“It’s a congratulatory gift,” you told him, staring at the crumbs perched on his bottom lip before glancing away.

His eyebrows furrowed in confusion, eyes moving from the cookie in his hand to the variety in the tub, and then to you.

“For what?”

You bit your bottom lip, sheepishly rubbing the back of your neck before finally making eye contact with Hoseok. With your best friend.

“For you—us. Our ‘relationship’.”

Hoseok’s eyes widened comically as he stared at you in shock. The sight itself would have made you laugh if you weren’t so nervous, nervous and scared to see where this trip would lead the two of you.

A screech, of what you think was happiness, parted his lips—drawing you out of all your current worries. You watched Hoseok drop the cookie and immediately reach for your hand to pull you into his chest.

“Thank you, y/n,” he muttered against your hair. “You really saved my ass.”

You laughed in turn, “you owe me big, Hobi.”

↝ How it made you feel

The flight to Hawaii, Hawaii of all places, was filled with silence, mind-numbing worries and long sighs. Hoseok, on the other hand, slept ever so soundly next to you, and you were jealous over how peaceful and calm he was.

A huff parted your lips as you continued to stare out the window. Maybe you were nervous because you were stepping into, ‘out of bounds,’ territory. Maybe you’d been there once and didn’t want to go back, maybe you were too afraid to venture further into the dark and endless cave.

If you said you hadn’t thought of Hoseok being more than a friend at least once, you would, of course, be lying. Hoseok was the sun on a hot day, he was as sweet as cherry flavoured ice cream and peached ice tea. Hoseok was like a handful of flowers and summer picnics, he was everything you desired and craved.

However, he was out of reach.

Hoseok would always and forever be nothing but your best friend, and you were okay with that. Well, you thought you were until he decided to lie to his parents and drag you down with him.

Idiot.

Hoseok moved next to you, stretching whatever limbs he could before glimpsing out the window. There was a sleepy smile on his face which had you rolling your eyes in exaggerated annoyance.

“You look dead,” he joked mid-yawn.

“No thanks to you.”

Hoseok raised an eyebrow at your harsh tone and evident irritation, “what’s got your knickers in a twist?” He argued.

As much as you adored your best friend and absolutely despised arguing with him, sometimes you just couldn’t help, or rather stop, your anger from over boiling within you.

He could just be so... stupidly oblivious.

“It’s not easy to sleep when I have to lie to your family, Hoseok.”

He cringed at the sound of his name falling so coldly off your lips. Of course, you had every right to be angry, but if you could just be, even a little bit understanding, it would help. A lot.

Hoseok twisted his body away from you and closed his eyes, however, he didn’t miss the way you sighed so softly, as if regretting arguing back.

You didn’t say anything, couldn’t bring yourself to, but you did lock your pinky with his. A small wordless apology, but also a promise to relax and not overthink about every little thing that could possibly go wrong.

There was a smile on his face, however, you were too distracted to notice it.

Hoseok didn’t say anything when the plane landed, he didn’t say anything when he grabbed your suitcase for you, he didn’t say anything when he interlaced your hand with his, and he didn’t say anything when he led you towards his mum with a smile on his face.

He didn’t help calm your worries because Hoseok knew you would have nothing left to worry about if he let your mind continuously spin. And he was right, Hoseok knew you better than you knew yourself.

You smiled.

↝ How it should be 

“It was difficult, but I convinced Hoseok’s dad to let you both share a room,” Mrs Jung playfully winked at you before looking at her son. “Be good.”

Hoseok chuckled at her assertive tone and playful warning, glancing over his shoulder he clicked his tongue and squished the bottom half of your face, then frowned.

He didn’t suit frowns.

“Stop sulking,” he scolded, his warm hand let go of your face and reached into his pocket. “Here, our room should be down that way. I’ll be there in a minute.”

Without saying anything, you took the key from his hand and proceeded towards the direction he pointed out.

The beach house was smaller than the ones you drove past, but it was nice. There were five bedrooms, four bathrooms, a huge kitchen and dining area with a lounge. And then, then there was the deck which was an open area that led you towards the beach.

It was beautiful.

While you were in the room admiring the view, Hoseok stepped into the kitchen to speak to his mum. A smile on his lips as he kissed her cheek and bound his arms around her waist.

“This is amazing,” he beamed.

His mother agreed with a soft hum, a smile gracing her own features while she began preparing dinner for the night.

“Hoseok, promise me one thing while we’re here,” she said after a moment too long of silence. “Promise me you’ll look after y/n.”

The said boy let go of his mum as an evident blush adorned his cheeks, he avoided eye contact and cleared his throat.

“I plan to, ma. She’s my girlfriend.”

His mum raised an eyebrow in return, “yes, but she’s your best friend first.”

Sometimes Hoseok was so sure his mum knew he’d been lying all along, but decided not to say anything— which he was very thankful for. The boy nodded his head and said something about taking you to the beach, it wasn’t a lie because he’d planned to take you, just... not so soon.

You were lying on the bed flipping through a magazine when Hoseok stepped in. He closed the door and finally let out the breath he’d been subconsciously holding in.

“I didn’t think you were coming back.”

It was a joke, and Hoseok knew that, but he still felt bad for leaving you alone for longer than he’d attended to. There was a soft smile on your face, hair in a messy bun and eyes dark and tired from the lack of sleep.

“I’m here now,” he replied quietly, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “We can do whatever you want.”

You retired your chin on your hand as you watched him lie down next to you. His eyes said, ‘sorry,’ and smile said, ‘I’ll make it up to you,’ but you knew more than that, you knew he felt terrible for dragging you into the deep end with him.

Still, you’d forgiven him.

“I kind of want to take a nap, but also kind of want to watch the sunset with you.”

Hoseok gazed into your eyes, he had a lot on his mind, a lot he wanted to say, but couldn’t bring himself to share his thoughts— he didn’t know how to.

So, instead, he nodded his head and rolled off the bed, holding out his hand for you to take. Hoseok led you out the glass door in the bedroom, shoes left behind along with your worries, and admired the sunset with you by his side.

The way it should always be.

↝ How he made you feel

You woke up burrowed in a new warmth, a warmth you’d never experienced before, but one you knew you could come to cherish. You woke up in Hoseok’s arms, legs intertwined and bodies closer than they’d ever been before.

You woke up with a beating heart.

Scanning his features, your fingers moved through his hair. It felt so natural being in arms, being held by him and just, being with him.

Was this all pretend too?

Hoseok keened into your touch, body sinking further into yours as he found sanctuary in your hold. Sometimes, you wondered what it felt like to be loved by someone like Hoseok, to belong to someone like him.

Sometimes you wondered what it would be like if you had crossed the line, all those years ago, and ventured into the dark cave of hidden feelings.

“Why are you awake so early?”

Hoseok’s voice was laced with sleep, however, it was light and airy. Like a warm summers breeze.

He opened his eyes to look at you, a lazy smile laced his features and he chuckled at the blank but confused expression on your own features.

“You were playing with my hair,” he explained, nose nuzzling into your hair while sleep came back to take him to dreamland. “Feels nice.”

A shy smile appeared on your lips, thoughts swirling like a hurricane in your mind. Waking up next to Hoseok every morning was something you wouldn’t mind doing for the rest of your life.

Too bad it was all pretend... You closed your eyes.

A few hours later, when the sun was fully awake and shining through the sheer curtains, Hoseok woke you up with a wide grin and dishevelled hair.

“Morning, sunshine,” he beamed. “Breakfast is in ten minutes.”

You groaned in return, rolling over to sleep on your stomach instead. Sleeping for a few more hours, to catch up on missed sleep, seemed better than getting up to eat breakfast.

However, Hoseok didn’t agree.

He kissed your forehead, slowly coaxing you out of sleep, “come on, baby.”

The prompt skin-ship, the use of the pet name, the soft tone— it all had your heart racing. Racing faster than ever before.

This was so unlike him.

You opened one eye, immediately making eye contact with his sister, who was standing at the door with her arms crossed and a wide smile across her lips. That was when you realised Hoseok had started his act of, ‘fake boyfriend,’ you would be lying if you said you weren’t disappointed.

Of course, it was all an act.

He moved your hair away from your face, bringing his own into view with a smile of his own.

“There she is,” he beamed.

You rolled your eyes and pushed his face away, a grumble of incoherent words leaving your lips as you did so. You could hear Dawon chuckle before walking away and leaving you alone with Hoseok.

“What time’s it?” You yawned, finally kicking off the duvet and sitting up.

“Breakfast time,” was the response you received from your retreating ‘boyfriend.’ “I’ll get you in the kitchen.”

He didn’t look at you before leaving, didn’t make eye contact or smile again. It was weird and you didn’t like it, it was so unlike him. This fake relationship better not ruin your friendship with him, you thought as you got out of bed.

Everyone was already in the kitchen, hustling and bustling to get breakfast down their throats before starting the day. Mrs Jung was brewing coffee while Mr Jung was frying an endless amount of bacon and eggs.

It made you smile, how everyone fell so perfectly in harmony with one another, but then, then there was you. Where did you fit in? Would you have felt differently if you weren’t playing pretend and standing on thin ice? 

Hoseok was talking animatedly to his sister, he didn't seem worried or scared he would get caught red-handed about lying. The smile on his lips was genuine and happy, maybe it was because he fit in better than you ever could or would. 

“Y/n, my love,” came Mrs Jung’s voice. “What are you doing just standing there? Come and eat, dear.”

You forced a smile over your lips and hastily nodded your head before proceeding towards Mr Jung and taking the plate of freshly cooked breakfast from his hands. 

Hoseok was watching you now, the smile on his lips hidden away with a pout, “sit with me,” he spoke, voice soft but grainy like sand. 

And your heart flipped into your stomach. You felt sick.

“Are you okay?” Dawon asked when she noticed you hadn't made a move to sit down. 

Her delicate voice drew you out of your neverending thoughts and brought you back to reality. There was a genuine smile on her lips while she gazed into your eyes, forcing your mind to calm down. 

Maybe she knew something you didn't. You smiled. 

“I’m fine,” was what you told her as you sat next to Hoseok. “Jet lagged, I think.”

And she giggled, in turn, making you smile. 

“Nothing a hearty breakfast can’t fix,” came Mr Jung, a fatherly grin over his face. “Eat up, little one!”

↝ How you forgot about all your worries

The ocean waves created playful rows of lines into the sand as the sunset beyond the shore. Mr and Mrs Jung were enjoying a cocktail, watching you and Hoseok build a sandcastle from the deck. There was a smile on your face, and they could tell you’d finally relaxed and let yourself go since you got here. 

Hoseok pulled out his phone to take a few pictures of the beautiful creation the two of you had created together, as well as, taking the opportunity to snap a few of you without you noticing. 

“This has got to be the best sandcastle we've ever built!” Hoseok proclaimed before tugging you to stand up with him. “It’s beautiful!”

A chuckle parted your lips at your best friends over-exaggeration but, he wasn’t wrong, “it’s pretty amazing, isn’t it?” You asked, turning your head to gaze at the male next to you. 

There was a huge grin on his face as he squeezed your hand, “we make a good team.”

You nodded at his words, silently agreeing with what he’d said. 

At that moment, you noticed the sun had slowly begun to set beyond the sea, creating hues of pink and golden yellows across your best friends features causing him to glow under the light. 

“Have I ever told you how much I love your smile?” Hoseok’s voice was soft when he spoke up again, his eyes gazing deeply into yours when you shook your head, ‘no’ in response to his question. “Well, I do. A lot.”

A rosy red blush spread across your cheeks and you felt yourself grow warmer than the sand, Hoseok, on the other hand, however, felt confident in himself and kissed your cheek before he lost this opportunity. 

He giggled as your eyes widened in surprise. 

“Hobi, your parents are watching!” Your tone was playful and your eyes were gleaming under the sun as you watched him chortle in response. 

If only every day was like this, carefree and full of nothing but happiness. 

“Come on, let’s walk along the shore before calling it a day,” his voice was like music to your ears.

When Hoseok held out his hand, you didn’t hesitate to intertwine it with your own. Accompanied by a smile over your lips, you let him lead you towards the sea and into the sunset. 

↝ How you fell in love 

As the days went on you noticed that most of the time the sky was saturated with soft pinks and dusky blues when the sun passed to set over the ocean. You noticed the palm tree leaves grow darker and heavier while they waved ‘goodbye,’ to the ball of fire and ‘hello,’ to the moon. 

You noticed the way Hoseok would gaze at you from across the room. 

As the days went on so much changed in such little time, but it felt right as swift touches hindered instead, as stares altered to longing gazes, and as your heart racing in fear of getting caught grew into the desire of falling in love. 

It made you wonder if Hoseok felt the same, it made you wonder how long you’d felt this way without even realising and, and it made you hope that maybe one day this fake relationship would become something real. 

You watched Hoseok as he moved swiftly passed his parents to find his seat next to you, a seat which you saved for him, and only him. There was a small smile on his lips when he made eye contact with you and a sigh of relief parted his lips as soon as he sat down.

Finding comfort with you next to him. 

“It’s been such a long day,” he spoke suddenly but softly. “I don't know if I’ll survive the wedding.”

A chuckle parted your lips at his joke, “stop overreacting.”

He stuck out his tongue before retiring his head onto your shoulder and closing his eyes. You listened as his breathing became lighter and the ocean waves grew heavier, it made you wonder if you were his safe space just like he was yours. 

And just when you thought he’d fallen into the rabbit hole of sleep, he opened his mouth and said, “promise me something.”

You felt your heart race against your chest and thump, as well as, feel the eruption of butterflies cause slight dizziness, however, you still found yourself nodding your head for him to continue. 

“Promise me that we will always be together,” his words were quiet as if they were a secret between you and the ocean. “No matter what.”

There was determination in his eyes when he raised his head off your shoulder to make eye contact with you. To be honest, you didn't really understand the meaning behind his words but you couldn't stop yourself from saying, ‘I promise.’

That was when you realised you’d fallen in love with your best friend. 

↝ How your confession lost against another

There were two days left before the wedding, the one main reason why you were in Hawaii the first place— the reason why you were pretending to be Hoseok’s girlfriend. 

More family and friends were beginning to arrive, more familiar faces you’d become to love and get to know, but then, then you saw her. The one person you were dreading to see and it only made it worse when Hoseok’s eyes rose in delight and his arms wound themselves around her figure. 

It made you feel small and irrelevant, especially when Mrs Jung had to introduce you as Hoseok’s girlfriend because he was too lost in her eyes to do it himself. More so, it made you feel angry and hurt. 

Of course, it wasn't his fault you'd fallen in love with him, but he was the one who started it. This whole fake dating ordeal was a bad idea from the start and you knew that, yet, you still gave in to him and went ahead with it. 

Now, now you were left feeling broken and lost. 

What were you supposed to do? Confess how you feel? Ignore your feelings until the wedding was over? Break off everything? Tell the truth? Your mind was reeling with so many thoughts, you felt like screaming and shouting. 

But that wouldn't be fair on anyone— including Hoseok. 

So, you gave out an agitated and wearied sigh before calling it a night. 

➴➶➴➶

“Y/n?”

It was funny, you didn't realise you were packing your suitcase until Hoseok walked in and asked you what you were doing. It wasn’t until your figure stopped moving and your mind stopped racing, you realised what was happening. 

You were leaving. 

“What’s going on?” Another question.

A defeated, sad chuckle hastily left your lips as you threw the cardigan in your hand onto the bed and sat down, “what are we, Hoseok?”

When you raised your head to look at him the first thing you noticed was the confusion etched across his face, and it made you wonder if you were over-exaggerated or if you’d read the situation with his ex all wrong. 

Whatever it was, it still hurt.

“What do you mean? We’re best friends.”

Another chuckle parted your lips, this time, however, you stood up and progressed to stand in front of him, “what if I told you that I wanted to be more than that?”

“What are you saying?”

You took a step further, “I love you, Hoseok.”

Hoseok didn't reply to your response, he didn't even look at you as his head sank into his chest. You were right when you thought he wouldn't feel the same, you were right when you thought that pretending to be in a relationship would ruin your friendship, and you wanted to cry. 

The door behind him opened and in came his ex, her hand found sanctuary in his and her eyes stared intensely into yours. There was more behind this than you thought, something didn't feel right, but you didn't know things would spiral out of control so fast. 

↝ How you left without a word 

The airport floor was cold—a huge contrast from the warmth outside. It kept your wild thoughts at bay and stopped them from running a riot in your mind. It stopped your tears from spilling down your cheeks and your heart from breaking into what felt like a million pieces. 

Maybe leaving without explaining a single word to Dawon or Mrs Jung wasn’t a good idea, but you couldn't stop replaying the image of Hoseok choosing his ex over his friendship with you. A woman who hurt and broke him over someone who was here for him and with him through everything. 

Everything. 

It took you a few seconds to realise someone was sitting next to you on the floor, it made you laugh that someone like Mr Jung knew you so well. Someone who wasn’t with you all the time, but was there watching you grow up along with his dumb-wit of a son. 

“Where do you think you’re going a day before the wedding?”

That was when you let the tears slip down your cold cheeks. 

Mr Jung didn’t hesitate to draw you into his fatherly embrace nor did he question why you were crying, perhaps because he knew why—something he’d most likely knew everything all along. 

“Let’s go back to the villa, my dear,” he voice was full of love and you couldn't find it in yourself to argue against him. “Mrs Jung has a nice ol’ cup of tea waiting for you.”

And he was right, Mrs Jung was seated at the dining table with two cups of tea—one for herself and one just for you. Seeing her made you miss your own mum, it made you want to curl up in her arms and cry over a stupid boy who broke your heart. 

There was a sympathetic smile on her features as she motioned for you to come over, Mr Jung, on the other hand, left the two of you alone—but not before leaving your suitcase in the room you were sharing with Hoseok. 

It made you wonder if he’d been worrying about you. 

“Now, are you going to tell me what happened?” Spoke Mrs Jung as soon as you sat across from her. There was a stern look on her face and you knew you were in trouble. 

It made you laugh. 

“Hoseok and I, well... we weren’t really dating, to begin with, it was all a lie to get you and Mr Jung to stop mentioning his ex, yet, as soon as she showed up I didn’t seem to exist anymore,” you sighed, eyes staring into the cup of tea. “When I realised I was in love with him, he’d already chosen her over me.”

Mrs Jung reached for your hand, “tell him again.”

You laughed and shook your head, eyes meeting hers, you smiled sadly and called it a night. 

➴➶➴➶

Unfortunately, Hoseok was wide awake when you entered the bedroom. He was sitting on the bed, head in his hands murmuring something to himself, but as soon as you opened the door, he’d leapt up and held onto you for dear life.

“What the hell, Hoseok,” you protested. “I can’t breathe.”

However, he didn’t seem to care as his grip tightened around you. 

“Where the fuck did you go?” He argued, moving you back to stare into your eyes. “I was so worried!”

Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion as you pushed out of his hold, “I didn’t think you would care since your first priority is your ex.”

He sighed in frustration as he watched you undress and put on your nightgown. Why the fuck was being around you so agitating? Why did you make him feel things he’d never felt with his ex? 

“She isn’t my first priority,” he said after a moment of silence. “You are.”

“Then why did you choose her over me? Why did you let her say those horrible things to me? Why did you push me away? Why—”

Your argument came to an end as your lips were met with Hoseok’s. He kissed deeply yet, desperately, pushing you into the wall while coiling his arms around your figure. 

His breath grew heavier and you silently asked for more. 

Never once in your life had you felt this way before, never once had you been so urgent for someone's touch. But this wasn’t just anyone this was Jung Hoseok—your best friend, the very guy you fell deep into the rabbit hole for. 

“Don’t think I forgive you, Hoseok,” you breathed against his lips. “You still owe me an explanation.”

He nodded his head before nosing against your neck and biting into the flesh, sucking to leave a mark. A mark to let everyone know exactly who you belonged to. 

“Let me make it up to you, baby,” he pleaded.

The air was full of nothing but arousal, more so, you couldn't bring yourself to deny him. 

Hoseok kissed you again, this time slowly but intoxicatingly, his hand moved down your form and slipped under your dress, exploring and touching everywhere except where you needed him to touch you.

“Hobi,” you muttered against his lips. “Please stop teasing me.”

His eyes were cloudy and glassy as he stared into yours with so much lust, want and needs. An exhalation escaped your mouth when he connected his lips back to your neck, hand slipping into your pants, taunting your clit.

You heaved at the ministration, writhing beneath him, silently asking for more. For anything, for something. He removed his hand, pulling your dress up along with his hand that progressed towards the back, reaching for the zip.

“Take it off,” he whispered in your ear in a low moan. “Let me see you.”

Your breathing got heavier as you watched him stand back, allowing you to move and take off your cotton dress. Just like that, in slow and precise movements, the dress slipped off and hit the floor.

Hoseok took the opportunity to undress before pulling you towards the bed and pushing you to lie down, so he was on top, so he could assert dominance and let you know that he was in charge and always will be.

It didn’t bother you, not when he knew what he was doing; when he was so confident in the way his hand wandered down your body, towards your heat.

A moan parted your lips, music to Hoseok’s ear. He decided there and then, after hearing you call out his name breathlessly into the night, that it would be his favourite sound.

“Let me show you how sorry I am,” he muttered into your ear. 

You could only nod your head, afraid that your own words would get stuck in your throat due to the pleasure he was causing you.

There was no uncertainty in Hoseok’s movements when he slipped a finger and then another into your heat, he revelled in your moans and whines, urging you to get louder the faster he pumped his digits in and out.

His free hand played with your breast, his lips nipping the skin, forcing you to squirm under his ministrations, it felt so good— amazing even, but you wanted more, needed more.

“Hoseok,” you gasped out, pulling at his hair to gain his attention. “Please, just fuck me already.”

There was a grin on his face, and a glint in his eyes as if he’d been anticipating for you to say those words. As much as he loved teasing you to no extent, he needed to feel you, to be inside you just the way he dreamt about.

He didn’t hesitate to pull off his boxers, to yank your pants down your legs, to line himself and without a single warning, push himself deep inside. Hoseok left you feeling breathless that night, he had you coming undone more than once and he left you feeling fully satisfied as he came deep inside.

There was still so much to talk about to many unanswered questions but those could be left till the next morning, especially after hearing the words, ‘I love you too,’ part from his lips. 

↝ How it worked out in the end 

The next morning the sun was shining brightly through the sheer curtains, it took you a good minute to realise you were still nude and pressed up against Hoseok’s chest. Arms gripping tightly with no intention to let go and snored filling the serene room accompanied by the sound of the waves. 

It was peaceful but your mind was reeling with so many questions. 

So, without a single sound, you twisted around in his arms to face him and worked to wake him up. Thankfully it didn’t take long. There was a smile on his lips and a knowing look in his eyes, he knew what was coming and he was ready to answer any and every question. 

“Hobi,” you started without hesitation, earning a hum in response. “What are we?”

A chuckle parted his lips and your cheeks grew red, “we’re best friends,” were the first words that parted his lips. “But I’d like to be something more.”

You gulped, “what about your... ex?”

“What about her?”

His teasing tone was not appreciated which is why you slapped his chest earning a grunt in return.

“Baby,” Hoseok pouted. “I was kidding.”

You rolled your eyes before frowning, “then answer the question.”

A chuckle parted his lips before kissing you on the forehead, “she means nothing to me,” he spoke softly. “It took me losing you to realise that. When you left with your suitcase, I immediately explained everything to my mum and dad, we told, you know who, to leave while my dad left to pick you up and I absolutely hated myself for siding with her instead of you.”

“I am so sorry I hurt you,” he finished, eyes gazing into yours.

“I forgive you,” you smiled. 

Hoseok kissed lightly kissed your lips earning a giggle from you in return. 

“I love you, y/n.”

That was when you knew your friendship grew into a little something more.

“I love you too, Hobi.

➴➶➴➶

A/N okay this was hectic but thank you for reading!

[pikapeppa]

Felassan/f!Lavellan: Braids

Chapter 23 of The Love That Grows From Violence (post-Trespasser Felassan x Tamaris Lavellan) is posted! WITH ART THIS WEEK by the inimitable and glorious @elbenherzart​!!

~5900 words; read on AO3 here instead. 

The next day, after their usual morning routine of breakfast and sparring, Felassan decided to finish reading This Shit Is Weird. He settled one of the plush sofas in the study while Tamaris stripped the wallpaper from the study walls, and he made his usual cheeky comments on the book as he read, which kept her entertained for a time.

It wasn’t long before he really sank into the book, however, and Tamaris understood why: he was reading the section about the Temple of Mythal, which was followed shortly after by the tale about going into the deep roads and discovering the existence of Titans — the two parts of the book that Felassan had been anticipating the most.

By the time Tamaris’s stomach was clamouring for lunch, Felassan was still reading in a very intense silence. She padded over to him and tapped his shoulder. “I’ll make some sandwiches,” she said quietly. “Is grilled cheese and ham all right?”

He looked up at her with a smile and took her hand. “Kiss me first. To help me concentrate.”

Her belly did a little leap of pleasure. She gave him a chiding smile. “I thought kissing you helped you with your magic, not your concentration.”

“It helps me with a great number of things,” he replied. 

She tsked, then bent over to kiss him. He slid his hand into her hair and gently nipped her lower lip, and when he finally released her, her heart was fluttering like a hummingbird.

He smiled and stroked her jaw with his thumb, then lowered his hand. “Try putting some mustard in the sandwiches,” he said. “Mustard and apricot jam. Just a small amount of both.”

“You’ll take your sandwich how I make it and you’ll be happy,” she scolded.

Felassan’s easy laughter followed her out of the study, and she couldn’t help but grin in response as she made her way to the kitchen.

When she returned to the study twenty minutes later, Felassan was sitting cross-legged on the sofa and reading with a stunned look on his face. Tamaris set the tray on the sofa and sat on the floor. “Which part are you reading?” she said quietly. 

He looked up at her. “You were inside of a Titan? Actually inside of it?”

“Yes,” she said. “It was…” She shook her head at the memory. “It was fucking vast. Cavernous, literally. If not for the heart, we wouldn't have known it was a living—”

Felassan interrupted her. “The heart was intact, then?”

He looked very serious, and Tamaris eyed him cautiously. “As far as I could tell. Valta didn’t seem to see anything wrong with it, and she was connected or tapped into the Titan, or whatever it was that happened to her...” She trailed off as Felassan’s eyebrows rose.

“Valta tapped into the Titan?” he said quietly. 

Tamaris frowned. “Yes. Have you not finished reading that part yet?”

“Not quite.”

She waved at the book. “Go on then, finish reading it!”

“I will, once I’ve eaten,” he said. He put the book aside and picked up a sandwich.

Tamaris watched guiltily as he took a bite of his food. “Felassan, it’s okay,” she said. “You can read while you eat. I promise I don’t mind.”

“I mind,” he said. “I would prefer to talk to you while I eat.”

His expression was warm and open, and it lifted an answering warmth in her chest. “All right,” she said, and she picked up her sandwich.

Felassan took another bite and hummed approvingly. “You put in the mustard and jam.”

She rolled her eyes. “I wasn’t going to argue with the thousands-of-years-old chef.”

He chuckled. “It’s nice to know you respect my age, if nothing else.”

She wrinkled her nose playfully and took another bite, and Felassan swallowed before speaking again. “I see that Fen’Harel is notably absent during this adventure. He decided not to come?”

“Oh.” Tamaris pulled a little face. “Um, no. I… told him not to come.”

Felassan raised his eyebrows, and she shrugged awkwardly. “He broke up with me when we were on our way to the Storm Coast to deal with the deep roads collapse. So I told him to go back to Skyhold.” A sudden flash of a memory crossed her mind: the way Solas’s expression had melted from tender to tragic, right before he told her he had distracted her from her duty and that it would never happen again. 

Don’t look at me like that. Don’t you dare fucking look at me like you ever loved me. Her own furious words rang in her ears, and for a split second, she felt like a stone had dropped onto her diaphragm.

“Ir abelas,” Felassan said quietly.

She blinked and looked up at Felassan — beloved Felassan, with his clear purple eyes full of tenderness and truth. 

She took a deep breath. “Don’t apologize,” she said softly. She took another bite of sandwich and shrugged. “Honestly, it was for the best.”

“How so?” he said.

“If he didn’t trust me enough to tell me the truth after a year, he was never going to trust me,” she said. “I couldn't see that at the time, but it’s obvious now. We would never have worked out with that many secrets between us.” 

Felassan didn’t reply right away. After a few seconds of silence, Tamaris looked up to find him watching her with a little smile. 

Her heart leapt at the obvious fondness in his face. She bashfully tucked her hair behind her ear. “What?” she said. 

His smile widened slightly. Then he tilted his head. “If it is any comfort to you, you are not the only one he didn’t trust.”

Tamaris nodded. Felassan had mentioned before how strict and withdrawn Solas had become around the time that he began developing the magic to make the Veil. “What happened exactly to make him so suspicious?” she asked. “I saw some of the memories in the Vir Dirthara slandering him, but… was it really just that? The propaganda against him?”

Felassan’s expression started to sober. “I suspect I’ll be telling you and Varric in detail tonight. Which reminds me: we should invite him over, if you wish for him to know about the Titans.”

“I’ll send the raven after lunch,” she said.

Felassan nodded. “I’ll be sure to make something non-spicy for him.”

Tamaris mock-pouted. “What about me?”

Felassan’s smile chased away the melancholy in his face. “I’ll make you something spicy tomorrow.” He playfully tweaked her hair. “You are getting terribly pampered. How did you survive before you met me?”

“By eating a lot of shitty food, apparently,” she said dryly.

He laughed heartily. “This sandwich is far from shitty, avise.” He inclined his head in that regal way he had. “Thank you for the lunch.”

She smirked at his manners and took another bite, and they spent the rest of their lunch break comparing ancient Elvhen and Dalish dishes and marvelling at the similarities and differences between their cuisines. When their lunch was finished, Felassan stretched out on the couch and went back to his reading, and Tamaris sent a raven to the Viscount’s Keep before starting to wash the residual glue from the now-stripped walls. 

Washing the walls was sweaty work, and she eventually stripped off her shirt and put her hair up into a messy bun to try and be a little more comfortable. Some time later, she glanced at Felassan to find him lounging lazily on the couch and watching her with a little smile on his face. 

She wiped some sweat from her forehead. “Paint a picture,” she said teasingly. “It’ll last longer.”

His smile widened. “Come over here.” 

She raised her eyebrows. “Are you finished reading?”

He nodded. “Varric has no further reason to resent me,” he said. He patted the couch and gave her a winning smile. 

She padded over to the couch and sat beside his outstretched legs. “So? What did you think?”

“I think that Varric has spun a fine story here,” he said. “I hope to spin one for you tonight that is just as entertaining.”

“He wasn’t spinning a story,” she protested. “He was just… beefing up some parts and downplaying others.”

Felassan lifted one eyebrow, and Tamaris smiled sheepishly. “Okay, fine, he was spinning a story.”

He chuckled, and Tamaris poked his belly. “But you’ve gotten to hear the real version.”

He took her hand and laced his fingers with hers. “I do get to enjoy that rare boon, yes. Insofar as any version of a story can be real.”

She shot him an odd look, and he casually waved his hand. “Oh, I’m not questioning the veracity of your and Varric’s telling. Just commenting that there are versions of every truth.” 

She frowned. “Yes, but there are also objective facts. The facts of a story are just as important as the way they’re interpreted.”

He tilted his head. “Would you prefer for me to stick to the facts in my telling of ancient history, then?”

She hesitated. Her instinctive answer was to say that yes, she just wanted the facts. But she didn’t want Felassan to feel like she was just pumping him for information. Whatever he told them tonight was sure to put that look on his face, that anachronistically world-weary look that made her heart ache, and it would be cruel for her to force him to turn that heartache into an objective report.

Besides, she had heard what ‘just the facts’ sounded like in Felassan’s voice: his telling of the time he’d spent as a Tranquil. She didn’t ever want to hear him sounding so flat and lifeless again. 

“No,” she finally said. “You should tell us however it makes sense to you. I just… I just want answers.” She sighed. “I’m not going to like them, but… I need to know.”

“I’ll do my best to make your answers as entertaining as possible, then,” he said softly. Then he lifted his shoulders in an elegant shrug. “What is the objective truth, anyway? It is like the humans’ Maker: something that everyone insists is real, but the more you seek it, the more gaps and questions you’ll find instead.”

She snorted a little laugh. “Now you’re just trying to cheer me up by making fun of the Chantry.”

“Is it working?” he said. 

“I hate to admit it, but yes,” she said dryly.

“Good,” he said. “I haven’t lost my wily words, then.” He pushed himself upright on the couch, then leaned forward and playfully nibbled her neck.

She wrinkled her nose and waved him off. “I’m all sweaty.”

“Is that meant to deter me?” he said. He nipped the juncture of her shoulder and neck, then reached up and released her hair from its bun.

“Ugh, why?” she complained. She pulled her hair away from her neck. “You’re just going to make me sweatier.”

He playfully smacked her hand. “I’m going to braid it.”

“That’s so much work,” she protested.

“It will be worth it,” he said. “You have beautiful hair.” He shifted slightly so he was sitting on her left side, then gently combed his fingers through her hair: enough to smooth out any snags without breaking up her curls too much. 

She scoffed. “Are you jealous of my curls?”

“Very,” he said with a smile. He began carefully parting her hair to the left. 

She sighed and relaxed into his capable hands, but she couldn’t help one last playful dig. “If you leave my hair as a tangled mess, you’re going to be the one picking out the knots.” 

He tsked, to her amusement. “Don’t insult me so. I know exactly what I’m doing.” He began twisting a braid into her hair on the exposed left side, keeping the braid tight to the scalp. “In ancient Arlathan, the braiding of hair was an art. Some people spent their days coming up with elaborate hairstyles with curls, plaits, ornaments and feathers, and even horns.”

Tamaris huffed. “Just goes to show how much time you ancients had on your hands.”

“Don’t be rude,” he said drolly. “We were not so different from this time, really. Think of the Orlesians and their masks. The Antivans and their clever tailoring. Extravagant beauty of some form is a mainstay of every culture. And as with every culture, such elaborate beauty was more than just an art. For my people, elaborate braids were a sign of status.” He smoothed his fingers over the braid he’d made, which now spanned just behind her ear. “The more ornate the style, the closer you were to the gods.”

“Of course,” she muttered. Then she shot him a curious look. “What did your hair look like in the past?”

“For a long time when I was young, I wore simple braids and styles, not unlike what I do now.” He shrugged. “Simplicity befitting of an Evanuris’s household staff, you know. Then, for a time, I had no hair.”

She blinked in surprise. “No hair? Like Solas?”

His answering smile was a little crooked. “Not quite. Fen’Harel shaved his head of his own free will. The Evanuris forced us — the slaves, that is — to shave our heads.”

Tamaris frowned. “Why?”

Felassan paused in his braiding and tilted his head. “Can you imagine what it would feel like to be forced to shave your head against your will?”

Her mind conjured an image of her lustrous black curls being shaved by force by a human, and her stomach lurched. She took a deep breath. “It would feel like being stripped in public,” she said quietly. “It would be… humiliating.”

Felassan nodded and continued braiding her hair. “The Evanuris said it was to help us stay clean and hygienic. But those of us who were freed knew the truth. It was a means to subjugate us. To make it easier for them to use and discard us, once they had shorn us of that which was seen as a sign of beauty and closeness to the gods that we all revered.”

His voice was hardening as he spoke. Tamaris turned her head slightly to look at him. “Ir abelas,” she said softly.

He met her eye, and the anger in his face softened slightly. “Ma serannas,” he said quietly. He smoothed his fingers over the braid he’d made along the left side of her head, then gently squeezed her shoulder. “Turn so your back is to me.”

She did as she was told. Once she was settled, Felassan lifted a small section of her loose hair and began making a small plait. “Once Fen’Harel freed us, we could grow our hair again and wear it however we wished,” he told her. “Some choose to keep their heads shaved as a reminder of what had been done to them, and a reminder of what they had overcome. Others wished to wear marvelous hairstyles like those of the Evanuris, because why shouldn’t they? But many of them did not know how to create such styles anymore. Those of us who remembered, like myself and Fen’Harel, helped them with this.”

Tamaris raised her eyebrows. “Fen’Ha— I mean, Solas helped people to braid their hair?”

“Yes,” Felassan said. “He was highly skilled in the braiding of hair, in fact. Did he never offer to braid yours?”

She shook her head slightly. “I very rarely wear my hair in braids, though. I can’t be bothered.”

Felassan huffed in amusement. “I don’t blame you. I can rarely be bothered to do more than the simplest styles myself.” He continued plaiting small locks of her hair. “Regardless, Fen’Harel was very good at braiding hair. He had elaborate hair himself for a very long time, you know.”

Tamaris snorted. “You’re lying.”

“I would never lie about something so glorious,” Felassan said. “At one point, he had long beautiful braids reaching down to his waist, studded with beads and rings of gold.”

Tamaris turned around partway to give him an incredulous look. “Braids with beads and rings? You’re fucking kidding.”

He grinned. “I promise you, I’m not. I wish I had some of those beads and rings, in fact. They would look exquisite on you.” He eyed her hair wistfully, then shrugged and began making another small braid. “I shall ask Varric to find some for us.”

Tamaris scoffed at the frivolous request. Then she sobered. “But you said he chose to start shaving his head. Why…?” She trailed off with a frown and thought for a moment, then glanced at Felassan again. “He shaved his head out of solidarity?”

He gave her a small and slightly melancholy smile. “In support of those that he freed, yes. And in defiance of the elaborate styles of the Evanuris. He sought to divorce himself from the Evanuris — to show clearly that he was not of them. And many of the freed slaves felt more comfortable in his presence when they saw that the famed Fen’Harel looked like them, even if he had never been a slave himself.”

Tamaris nodded slowly. Then she shot Felassan a little frown. “Do you think it’s odd that Solas was the leader of the freed slaves, even though he wasn’t one of them?”

He smiled. “Do you think it odd that you were the leader of the Inquisition, even though you do not believe in Andraste?”

“Every single fucking day,” Tamaris said flatly.

Felassan laughed. “Fen’Harel did, as well. For that reason, he was always very insistent that each freed slave’s life was their own, and they owed him no fealty. I chose to become his spy, but others simply chose to live in peace in Arla’fen, or to flee to the outer edges of the empire to start a new life outside of the Evanuris’s reach — or as far from their reach as possible, in any case.” He sighed. “I have long felt that this is part of what made him so lonely.”

“What do you mean?” Tamaris asked.

Felassan lowered his hands and looked her in the eye. “Imagine an elf who was once a spirit, standing as the favoured companion of one of the Evanuris, but not being one of them. An elgar’venathe who spent much of his time freeing slaves in secret, but he was not one of them, either.”

She frowned slightly, but with a pang in her chest. Felassan smiled faintly, then stood up and sat on her right side. “The Dread Wolf trod carefully and skillfully in many worlds, but he did not truly belong to any of them,” he said. He lifted another lock of her hair and began forming another small plait.

Tamaris was quiet for a long moment as she remembered Solas’s solitude, and how he had always kept himself apart from the rest of the Inquisition…  No, wait. That wasn’t true. There was one person he’d always seemed far more comfortable around — someone other than Tamaris herself.

Cole, she thought. Solas had always been particularly fond of Cole, and particularly loquacious with him. Then there was Solas’s spirit friend in the Exalted Plains — the only old friend Solas had ever spoken of. 

She glanced at Felassan. “I think he wished he was still a spirit.”

Felassan met her gaze. His expression was pensive and a little bit sad. “I have often thought the same thing.”

“Why did he become an elf, then?” she asked. “Or, um, take a… what did you call it? Take on a corporeal form?”

“Because Mythal asked him to,” Felassan said. 

Tamaris blinked in surprise. “Seriously?”

Felassan nodded, and Tamaris gazed at him with wide eyes. “Why?” she asked. 

He gave her another sad little smile. “I will tell you tonight when Varric comes.” He leaned back slightly and smoothed his hand over her hair. “In the meantime, you should find a mirror and look at my work. You are even more stunning than usual.”

She rolled her eyes. “Uh-huh.” She stood up and made her way to the elaborately-framed mirror in the front foyer, and when she caught sight of her own hair, she stopped short in surprise. 

The left side was bound in a perfect tight braid that coursed along the side of her scalp and behind her ear, then flowed down over her shoulder. The rest of her hair lay in loose tousled curls as usual, but sections of it were caught up in tiny braids that looked like ornaments in and of themselves. 

She raised her eyebrows. She wasn’t used to seeing her hair in such a fancy style, and the contrast between the sleek left side and the wild right was… interesting. In a good way. 

In a really good way, actually. She glanced at Felassan, who had followed her into the foyer and was leaning casually against the wall with his arms folded. “I like it,” she said.

He smiled. “I’m glad I didn’t snarl your hair into a mess of tangles for no good reason, then.”

She winced. “All right, fine, what I said before was rude. I’m sorry. I really like how this looks, though.” She patted the sleek braid on the left, then frowned; there was nothing fastening the bottom of the braid, yet it wasn’t unravelling.

She looked up at Felassan again. “How is this staying in place?”

“Magic,” he said.

She gave him a chiding look, then paused; he was smiling still, but his expression wasn’t jocular. 

Her eyes widened. “Wait, are you being serious?”

He nodded, and her jaw dropped. “How…?”

He shrugged. “It just… came to me without thinking. An automatic pattern of the fingers and the mind, it seems.”

She gaped at him with growing wonder. “But that’s… that’s good, right?” She gestured at her hair. “This was exactly what you mean to do, right?”

“It was, yes,” he said.

Her belly leapt with excitement. “It came to you naturally like breathing,” she said. “You did exactly what you mean to without thinking about it! That’s how magic is supposed to feel to you, right?”

He chuckled. “Yes, Tamaris, it is.”

“But that’s — Felassan, that’s incredible!” she exclaimed. “That’s…” She gaped at him in awe, then suddenly flung her arms around him in a hug. “That’s incredible!”

He hugged her back, but his words were cautionary. “This was just a small feat, avise. Don’t get carried away.”

“I’m not getting carried away!” she protested. “This is incredible! And it doesn’t matter if it was just a small thing. It felt the way it was supposed to. That means everything you’ve been doing is working!” She leaned away and poked his chest. “You’re on your way to getting your magic back, see? I knew you would!”

“Everything we have been doing is working, you mean,” he said. “I would not have reached this point if not for you.”

“Well, neither would I,” she said. “I’d still be a bitter drunk mess if not for you. Fair’s fair.”

He gave her a chiding look. “You discredit yourself so quickly. You would have found your bearings in time.”

“So would you,” she retorted.

He gave her a slow and breathtaking smile. “We are a well-matched pair, then,” he said. “Two non-broken people who helped each other to become even less broken.”

She gazed at him, wordless with pride and adoration, and in the warmth of his smile and his brilliant violet eyes, she could see the reflection of the feeling that was making her heart pulse with happiness. She and Felassan were more than just two people who had helped each other. Through each other’s eyes, they’d rediscovered something in themselves that they’d each thought was lost, and over the course of that discovery, they’d twined their lives together in a way that Tamaris would never have thought possible with someone she’d known for so little time. 

She smiled helplessly at him, then pulled him close for a kiss. He immediately sank into her kiss, parting his lips under the coaxing pressure of her mouth and sliding his tongue sinuously along the length of her own. He gently nipped her lips with that exquisitely gentle care that told her how much he was savouring the taste of her mouth, and by the time he gently peeled his mouth away from hers, she was panting. 

He ran his thumb across her cheek. “We have a pocket of time now before Varric comes,” he murmured. “I wonder what we should we do with it?”

She smirked; she could tell exactly what he had in mind from the heated and mischievous look on his face. All the same, she playfully tilted her head. “What did you have in mind?”

He chuckled. The sound was more of a purr than a laugh, and it sent a lovely shiver down her spine. He leaned in and brushed his lips to hers, and his silky reply was a whisper of warmth over her lips. 

“I believe we should… go finish washing the walls in the study,” he murmured.

Cheeky ass, she thought happily. Then she hopped into his arms.

Felassan caught her with a laugh of surprise as she looped her legs around his waist. “Later,” she said huskily, and she kissed him once more. 

He kissed her back and carried her to the sofa in the study. And for a lovely, blissful time, they indulged themselves in a discovery of a more carnal kind.

***************************

Late that afternoon, Varric arrived with a box of fine Antivan chocolates and a wry smile. “Hey,” he said, and he handed the chocolates to Tamaris. “These arrived at my office this morning. They’re from Ruffles.” He took his usual seat at the dining table. “Thought we might need them if Jester’s going to be telling us some horror stories tonight.” He glanced at the kitchen, where Felassan was finishing up dinner. 

“Good thinking,” Tamaris said. She sat across from him and shot him an apologetic look. “Listen, I was being an ass last night. I shouldn’t have just stormed off like I did.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Varric said. “Honestly, Cuddles, I don’t blame you. It’s a tough time for everyone.”

“That’s kind of my point, though,” she said. “You’re so calm. How are you so calm through all of this? Aren’t you angry?”

Varric shrugged. “Honestly, I don’t see the point. This isn’t our first disaster, remember?”

“I know, but still.” She leaned her elbows on the table. “Tell me your dwarven secrets. How are you so fucking pleasant all the time?”

He huffed in amusement. “You don’t know that I’m pleasant all the time. Maybe I spend my evenings gnashing my teeth and wailing before I go to bed.”

Tamaris clicked her tongue. “Seriously. How are you coping with this so well?”

“Honestly?” He leaned back in his chair and folded his arms. “I’ve been writing something.”

She raised her eyebrows. “Really? What are you writing?”

He tugged an earring. “It’s… something really stupid.”

Felassan piped in. “It’s smut, isn’t it?” He slid a platter of fragrant salmon and rice onto the table, then headed back to the kitchen.

“Is that all you ever think about?” Tamaris called after him. 

“It is a solid third of everything I think about, yes,” he called back. 

Tamaris snorted in amusement and turned back to Varric. To her surprise, Varric was looking vaguely embarrassed. “I hate to admit it, but he’s right. It’s a trashy romance thing.”

“But I thought you didn’t like writing those!” Tamaris said in surprise.

He shrugged again. “Eh, I’ve changed my mind. They’re not so bad. It’s less pressure too, since almost nobody reads my romance serials.”

“So why are you doing it, then?” she asked.

“Because it’s relaxing, Cuddles,” he said wryly. “You asked me how I relax, that’s how I relax.”

She peered carefully at him. “Are you saying you… you know? While writing them?” She raised her eyebrows suggestively.

Varric rolled his eyes. “You’re just as bad as Jester. The two of you need to find a new hobby.”

“I take offense to that,” Felassan said as he re-entered the room with a platter of grilled vegetables. He gave Tamaris a chiding look. “I wouldn’t make such a crude suggestion to our esteemed writer. Varric is obviously writing another romance serial for Cassandra.”

Tamaris scoffed. “No he’s not.” She turned to Varric. “Are you?”

Varric grimaced slightly and tugged his earring again, and Tamaris’s jaw dropped. “You are?” 

“Of course he is,” Felassan said. He began serving everyone’s food. “He said almost no one reads his serials, and we all know who his most avid fan is.”

“All right, fine, I am,” Varric grumbled. “But it’s just for fun. Honestly, I think the Seeker gets more out of it than I do.”

That makes it even sweeter, Tamaris thought, but she didn’t want to make him uncomfortable by pointing this out. 

Felassan, as usual, had fewer qualms than she. “That’s very considerate of you,” he said. “Exceedingly considerate, in fact. I was just telling Tamaris the other day that we should invite Cassandra to visit sometime.”

Tamaris kicked him under the table, but he didn’t even bat an eye. Varric, on the other hand, raised an eyebrow. “Visit Kirkwall? Why?”

“Why not?” Felassan said. He waved his arm in a vague gesture. “We have this large empty house. She would be welcome to stay. Wouldn’t she, Tamaris?” He shot her a very innocent smile.

“Of course she would, Felassan,” Tamaris said through clenched teeth. “But she is pretty busy with, you know, rehabilitating Tranquils and the Seekers and all that.”

“Everyone needs a break sometimes,” Felassan said cheerfully. To Varric he said, “Do you think we should invite her to stay?”

“I mean, you could,” Varric said. “Cuddles is right, though; she might be too busy. Wouldn’t mind seeing her, though.” He popped some salmon in his mouth and eyed Tamaris thoughtfully. “Your hair is different. It looks dressed up.”

“It does, doesn’t it?” Felassan said. 

Varric smirked at him. “Your handiwork, I’m guessing?”

“It certainly is,” he said with a smile. Then he snapped his fingers. “Ah, forgive me; I forgot the sauce for the salmon.” He rose from the table and leaned in to kiss Tamaris’s cheek, but as his lips brushed her cheekbone, he whispered to her. “Take note that he changed the subject.”

Smug fucking spy, she thought, but of course she couldn’t say a word. Felassan sauntered away to the kitchen, and Tamaris smiled tightly at Varric, whose eyebrows were quirked in a quizzical expression. 

“Um, yeah,” she said lamely. “I look fucking fancy now.” She speared some vegetables and salmon on her fork. “Be careful that he doesn’t offer to braid your chest hair. I don’t think he’s above it.”

“I heard that,” Felassan called from the kitchen. 

Tamaris smirked, and Varric chuckled. Felassan returned to the table, and they spent the rest of their meal chatting casually about local goings-on and a book that all three of them had read when it came out about ten years ago. 

When their meal was done and Tamaris had finished tidying the kitchen, they retired to the library with Varric’s chocolates and Tamaris’s sending crystal so Dorian could be included in the discussion. Varric sat in an armchair while Felassan plopped onto one of the plush couches and stretched out his legs, and Tamaris settled herself cross-legged on the floor by Felassan’s couch and swept her thumb over the sending crystal. 

A few moments later, Dorian’s voice floated through. “Tamaris! I was just thinking of you. I had hoped you were missing the mellifluous sound of my voice.” 

“I missed you desperately, Dorian,” she said dryly. “Felassan and Varric are here too.”

“A whole party of people who miss me dearly!” Dorian said brightly. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

Varric replied. “It’s storytime with the ancient elf. We thought you’d want to join in.”

“Oh, is Felassan telling us tales of the past?” Dorian said. “How amusing.”

“Amusing is what I always strive for,” Felassan said. He tilted his head thoughtfully. “Disturbing is what the result will likely be, unfortunately.”

“Even better,” Dorian said.

Tamaris raised an eyebrow. “Really? You want to be disturbed?”

“I want to be accurately informed,” Dorian said. “What Abelas told us at the Well of Sorrows has never left my mind, you know. To know that my people were scavengers, not conquerors… it means something. We should never have striven for that reputation of the glorious conquerers in the first place, and to know that we never were is humbling, in a good way.”

Felassan’s smile was soft. “You are wise beyond your years and your race, my friend.”

“I do believe that was a compliment,” Dorian said. “If so, I will happily accept.”

Tamaris rolled her eyes. “Do you two need some time alone to bond?”

Felassan playfully tugged her braid. “Don’t be jealous, avise. You know you are always my favourite person the room.”

Varric groaned, and Dorian tsked. “If that’s what this call will be like, then give me a moment to find a bucket to vomit in.”

Tamaris smiled goofily and scratched the back of her neck, and Felassan chuckled. “Enough idle small talk, then. Don’t let me hold up this storytelling time.” He rubbed his hands together. “What do you wish to know first?”

There was a brief pause. Then Dorian, Tamaris, and Varric all spoke at once. 

“Why was Solas so angry about the archdemons being killed?” Tamaris asked. 

“How did red lyrium get the Blight in the first place?” Varric said.

“I’d like to know more about that orb that Solas had,” Dorian said.

A slow smile crept over Felassan’s face. Then he started to laugh. “So you wish to know everything, then. I suppose I ought to start from the very beginning. Of what I know, at least.” His expression grew serious. “Much of what I will tell you happened long before I was born. The knowledge I have isn’t as first-hand as the facts you would get from Fen’Harel himself, if he had ever been so inclined to share it with you.” He sighed. “I also have strong suspicions about things that… that Fen’Harel did not want his people to know.” He looked directly at Tamaris, and his gaze was soft and utterly serious. “Things he would not have wanted you to know, for fear of corrupting the woman he loved with that which eventually poisoned our entire empire.”

Her pulse began to rise at this. “Just tell me what you feel comfortable with,” she told him. 

He nodded. Then he smiled and laced his fingers casually behind his head. “All right. I should probably start by telling you what — or rather, who — the archdemons really were.” 

****************

An important note: Felassan’s anecdote about the importance of hairstyles in ancient Arlathan, and the terrible meaning of slaves having their hair shaved, was heavily inspired by the IRL history of European slave traders shaving the heads of West African people when they took them as slaves. The sources I referred to for this are here and here – two sources that corroborate each other, both of which I recommend. My fiancé beta’ed that section for me as well. If you recognized the inspiration for this anecdote, I hope it came across as it is intended: a respectful homage to black history in North America.

[onlycags]

Yenilgi | Çağlar Söyüncü

English Title: Defeat Word Count: 1,413 Description: I started writing this back when Turkey lost 0-1 to Hungary on 3 September. It’s angsty - you’ve been warned. Enjoy xx

- - -

You and Çağlar rarely disagreed when it came to supporting football teams - you’d been a Leicester fan all your life, so you never had to choose between supporting your boyfriend’s team or supporting your childhood club - but when it came to him playing for the national team, you had some conflicting feelings, especially when Turkey played Hungary.

Your father’s parents were Hungarian and you loved your only-living grandparents with all your heart. You rarely got to go visit them, which was why you loved watching the Hungarian national team play - it was your time to videochat with them while the match was on. Of course, you’d have to endure hearing them talk all about how Barnabás Bese would be a good match for you or how Tamás Kádár was thirty and still unmarried and that five years wasn’t that big of an age difference. Before you and Çağlar started dating, you would entertain them and comment that they should put in a good word for you on whichever player you thought was more attractive; now, you’d just roll your eyes and laugh and reiterate how happy you were with Çağlar. Your grandparents had met and loved Çağlar, but they also just wanted you to marry a Hungarian man and continue the bloodline. You knew they would support you and whoever you ended up marrying, but that didn’t mean they couldn’t have a little fun in the interim. 

For this match, you’d flown to Turkey to be with Çağlar. He wanted you by his side, win or lose, and you wanted to be there. You didn’t mind, as it meant that you could be there for Çağlar when he came home. You’d visited briefly with his parents and siblings, but you wanted to be by yourself in the Airbnb for the match so you could FaceTime with your grandparents while the match was on.

“You’ll be wearing my jersey, yeah?” Çağlar asked that morning during breakfast and you didn’t miss the nervous look on his face. 

You got up from your seat at the table and walked over to him, sitting down on his lap as you wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed his cheek. “Elbette!” Of course! Çağlar audibly sighed and buried his face in the crook of your neck. You played with his hair, running your fingers through the soft strands, enjoying his little grunts of pleasure. “You know that I’ll always be cheering for you, even if I’m also cheering for Hungary, right?” 

“Biliyorum,” he replied, nodding. I know.

“İyi.” Good. You leaned your cheek against the top of his head, the two of you staying like that for a few minutes just taking each other in. You and Çağlar rarely needed words, which was something you loved about your relationship with him. 

Çağlar left almost an hour later, but not before you gave him a goodbye kiss to last him for the next few hours. “İyi şanslar, prensim,” you whispered, pressing your forehead against his. Good luck, my prince.

“Seni seviyorum, prenses,” Çağlar replied, giving you one last needy kiss before walking out the door. I love you, princess. 

***

You phoned your grandparents an hour before the match, wanting to catch up with them before the three of you were focused solely on the match. It was good to hear their voices again and to practice your Hungarian. 

The match was intense, scoreless until the 80th when Dominik Szoboszlai got one past the defense and put one in the back of Uğurcan Çakır’s net. You didn’t know whether to celebrate or cry, but your grandparents’ cheers had you celebrating with them. 

“You know, Szoboszlai is twenty and unmarried,” your grandmother said, giving you a knowing look.

“He’s twenty, Nagymama,” you replied, rolling your eyes. “In case you’ve forgotten, I’m twenty-five.”

“Çağlar is younger than you, isn’t he?” Was her retort, and you couldn’t help but laugh and shake your head.

“Yes, he is, but not by five years!” You exclaimed, looking to your grandfather for help. “Nagypapa, aren’t you going to help me here?”

Your grandfather shook his head, looking at your grandmother with love in his eyes. “When your grandmother gets something in her head, who am I to stop her?” Was his response that had all of you laughing.

The last ten minutes of the match were fairly uneventful and you celebrated Hungary’s win with your grandparents while your mind raced as you thought about Çağlar and how he must be feeling right now.

A few minutes after the match, you were ending the video chat with your grandparents, promises to video chat again soon and words of love exchanged as you stopped the call. 

***

Çağlar didn’t get back to the Airbnb until almost two hours later and you weren’t quite prepared to see him this defeated after a loss.

“It’s all my fault,” he mumbled, trudging into your arms for a soothing hug. 

“Oh, Çağlar,” you whispered, tears springing to your eyes as you tried to comfort him. “There was nothing you could have done - that ball was going to the top corner on a free kick. Yeah, you were running for it, but not even Çakır could have saved that shot. Without you, the score would have been a lot higher.”

“I hate letting my team down,” he said, shaking his head. He was stoic but you could tell he was hurting deeply. Çağlar, like any other footballer, took the losses incredibly personally, but the national team defeats just cut deeper than losses for Leicester.

You knew there was nothing you could do to cheer him up, opting to be there for him however you could. Just your presence did wonders for his mood, but there was something about this loss that had him acting differently than the others.

“Come here, Çağlar,” you murmured, pulling his head into your lap. He let out a soft sigh as you started to run a soothing hand through his hair, your words and your touch calming him yet sending shivers down his spine.

When it was time for bed, you helped your sleepy boyfriend to bed. You climbed into bed wearing nothing but a pair of panties and his jersey.

The darkness brought all his demons rushing back and Çağlar couldn’t take it anymore. You were still awake, pressed into his side with a leg hooked over his hip as you traced circles over the centre of his chest. When you felt him stiffen beneath you, you knew something was wrong. “Çağlar.” You said his name softly, lifting your head off his shoulder.

“Turn around,” he said, his voice tortured.

“Baby, please. Whatever it is, let me try to help.”

“I said ‘turn around’.” Çağlar’s voice was strained, the tone letting you know not to argue with him.

Without another word, you turned on your side so your back was to him. Seconds later, the bed shifts and you felt Çağlar’s arms around you tightly. One of his powerful legs knocked yours apart and his face was pressed against his jersey that you were wearing. His shoulders shook with sobs and it wasn’t long before you felt tears soak through the jersey as he cried. 

All you could do was let him cry, your heart breaking with each sniffle or shaky inhale. You laced your fingers through his and pressed his hand to your chest, wordlessly giving him support. Çağlar never liked to lose control like this in front of you, but he’d done it enough times to know that you’d never leave him because of it and for that he was grateful. 

When he’d stopped crying, you let him compose himself before getting up to help him. You got him a glass of water from the kitchen and handed him some tissues, turning on the bedside table light to illuminate him in a soft glow. He didn’t meet your gaze as he set the now-empty glass on the nightstand and blew his nose. 

He was sitting up, his back propped up against the headboard as he played with his hands. “Çağlar,” you whispered, climbing onto the bed and straddling him. You took his face in your hands, lifting his chin up to meet your eyes. You ran the pads of your thumbs across his cheeks, drying his residual tears. The soft kiss you placed on his lips held promise and you felt him shudder under your touch. “Buradayım.” I’m here.

Çağlar nodded, sniffling. “Biliyorum.” I know.

[crimsonbluemoon]

Working for Love: A TerrorMoo story 16/17

Hello hello! Happy Saturday to everyone reading this. This story’s been a lot of fun to write, and I’m happy to get this final part out. This is the technical ending to the story, but per Grace’s request, I’ll have an extra scene for people looking for a mature epilogue. 

But for those who don’t, this is the final one! So please, enjoy.

OH! And also make sure to come to my new Discord’s Podcast tonight at 8pm! ‘The Creativity Corner’ is for writers and authors who want to have others to connect with, or fans that wanna help support their favorite content creators. We’ve got a happy little community right now, so come join us! 

Our Podcast tonight will be about Burnout and Artblocks and how to push through them. 

If you need the link, here it is. <3 

Now enjoy the story!

Previous Part

Start from the beginning

Brian couldn’t keep the smile off his face if someone punched him (Tyler had already threatened to once, due to how ‘goofy’ his grin looked all day). Why?

Because he and Brock were together. 

Well, sort of. 

After comforting Brock during his breakdown, he’d spent a week sleeping at Brock’s place. Cuddling and kissing Brock every morning before life dragged them out of bed had been the best part of his day, and he felt high from the sensations that thrummed through his body each time Brock murmured his name with fondness. Sex hadn’t been talked about yet, which Brian understood. Brock had taken two hours to fully explain the negative effects his ex had on his body image, as well as his mental health. Just hearing how Brock’s previous boyfriend handled the situation was disgusting and left a bitter taste in his mouth. He’d split a pizza with Craig on Brock’s couch the next day, letting Brock catch up on sleep he’d been struggling to claim due to his anxiety. Mini looked rightfully spiteful when speaking about the ex, pointing out that the emotional abuse he’d provided Brock had been going on long before Brock even realized it. 

Brian had made sure to cuddle Brock even tighter that night, hoping his warmth could chase away any residual pain left behind. 

“You still didn’t ask him to be your boyfriend? You’re literally worse than Jonathan and Evan. I didn’t even think that was possible.” Tyler’s blunt statement made Brian laugh and Evan shrug, arms leaning on the front desk.

“There’s no expiration date on love.” 

“You saying you love Jonathan?” Brian asked, forcing himself not to pump his fists when finally getting a hint of a blush on Evan’s face. 

“I’m just here for the pizza man, not to get dissected.” And to prove his point, Evan reached forward to snag a piece from the box in front of him. The tradition of the gym was to provide pizza every first monday of the month as an incentive to get fair-weather members in for a work-out. The likelihood of them signing up for a class once there was higher, especially after the guilt of eating four slices of pizza came into play. It was a smart marketing move on Tyler’s part, Brian would give him that. 

“Number one, you’re here because I still pay you for some fucking reason.” Tyler smacked the back of Evan’s hand, scowling when Evan only clutched the crust harder and took the pain in order to rip a bite off the piece. 

“You can’t separate a man from his true love.”

“Funny, I don’t see Jonathan here.” Brian quipped back, snickering.

“Look who’s talking!” Evan’s childish reply didn’t deserve a response, so Brian ignored it by stuffing his own piece of pizza into his mouth. 

“Number two,” Tyler continued, glaring at both guilty parties. “Stop eating the customer’s food.”

“It’s closing time; the only one whose gonna come in now is Brock,” Brian said, glancing to the clock. It was close to 9:30, meaning they only had a half hour before the place officially shut down. A quick sweep of the gym saw two, maybe three, people inside. 

“And it’s so good.” Evan said, or that was what Brian thought he said, since pizza was muffling his words. 

“Number three; you both are hopeless losers if you can’t get the balls to ask out the men you’re in love with. I barely even tolerate Mini, but I was smart enough to make it official.” The last piece of information made Brian choke on his slice. Tyler and Craig were dating? Since when?! What alternate reality was he living in? And were they fucking, because Tyler still was just as grouchy as he’d been during his dry spell. Brian was going to have words with Craig. “And for the last fucking time, Brian, put your hat on.”

“Can’t,” he coughed out after swallowing the ball of dough lodged in his throat. “Gotta go get the weights ready for Brocky, bye!” 

“I’m going to fire you!” Tyler’s threat barely left a scratch on Brian as he tuned him out, humming when jogging through the gym to get to the weight rack. He’d set up time for Brock to work with him on free weights, which really was just a ploy to watch Brock’s bicep flex up close. All of Brock was handsome, but there was something about the transformation of his arm that really made Brian’s stomach heat with arousal. He wasn’t planning on getting anything out of it (other than a nice little image to think of in the shower), but Brian had already accepted that Brock could read a newspaper and he would somehow find it sexy. At least during this particular activity, he’d have a reason to ‘fix his form’.

“Hey.” Brian paused in moving one of the bars to the side when he heard a new voice call out to him, glancing over his shoulder at the newcomer. The man wasn’t out of shape, though the lack of definement on his muscles proved the gym wasn’t the first place he thought of going after work. It may have explained why he was calling out to Brian; he probably needed help with something he hadn’t learned to use yet.

“What can I help you with?” Brian asked, caught off guard by the once over he got. Sure, this wouldn’t be the first time someone had checked him out, but most did it from the corner of their eyes or behind machinery. The guy was bold, Brian would give him that. 

“I’m new to this gym. Was wondering how to sign up for training lessons.” 

“Most of our sessions are between the hours of 9am and 5pm; we rarely do one this close to closing. You can talk to Evan or Tyler at the front desk and see what trainer fits your timeframe,” Brian answered, giving a polite smile that stayed rigid with professionalism. Flirting was nice when he wasn’t dating someone, but Brian knew how to turn off his charm when he needed to. Here, seeing the obvious interest in Brian, he made sure to keep an appropriate distance from him when pointing out the front desk. “They’ll tell you all of our availability up there.” 

“Are you free now?” Persistence did not look good on this man, and Brian had to stop himself from rolling his eyes. From the corner of his gaze, he caught a familiar face, and his smile was much easier to throw out when seeing Brock giving him a wave.  

“Actually, I’m not. My boyfriend’s coming over to work out with me.” He’d said the title hundreds of times in his head, but it was the first that he’d let slip from his lips. And damn, did it feel good. He added a nod behind the man, who huffed and turned to inspect who Brian was talking about. Brian didn’t get to see the man’s reaction, because the joy that drained from Brock’s smile was far more important. Brock had never turned pale so fast in Brian’s presence, his wide eyes and quickened breathing both signs that something had gone terribly wrong. And fuck if people were watching (really it was just this one guy in the gym now), Brian needed to soothe him.  “Brock? Sweetheart, you okay?” 

“That’s who you’re dating?” The unnecessary bite to the man’s tone had Brian snapping his head back, his glare already reved up. 

“That a problem?” 

“He’s my ex-boyfriend.” A sentence had never made Brian’s stomach drop out and boil with rage at the same time. 

He was going to give Tyler a reason to fire him, after all. 

“You fucking asshole.” Brian’s hands grabbed the man’s shirt before slammed him into the mirror, fists shaking from how hard he was pressing into the other’s chest. “You fucking waste of life.” 

“Brian!” Brock’s cry of his name was heard, but for once, he didn’t feel soothed by it. Instead, the hatred and anger blistered in his skin, his teeth clenched together between scalding words of disgust.

“You vile dick. You, you, think you have any right to say shit to Brock? That you deserve anyone close to his calibre? Are you fucking crazy?” His arms slammed the man back again when he tried to respond, not wanting to hear his response. “I should knock every one of your stupid teeth out-”

“Please stop!” Brock’s chest was warm when he grabbed Brian from behind, his forehead pressed to the back of Brian’s neck. The arms around Brian were strong, but shaking, and it was the fact that Brock was trembling that made Brian finally let go of the other’s shirt. Brock pulled him back a couple feet before another hand grabbed him, turning him to face Evan and Tyler.

“Yo, calm down dude,” Evan tried to be calm about the outburst, but Tyler’s anger palpable in the air. 

“What the fuck was that? You can’t attack random ass people in the gym!” 

“He’s not random!” Brian snarled back, sending a scathing glare toward the man now staring at Brock. Brock, who was now pressed to his side, hadn’t noticed the look, too busy grabbing Brian’s hands to check his knuckles for bruises. But Brian had, and he wanted to rip the man’s eyeballs out of his head for even thinking he had the right. “That’s Brock’s ex.” 

“Oh shit.” Evan’s voice was quiet, but it seemed to echo from how silent the gym had become. Brock flinched next to him, but stayed silent on the topic, shaky fingers rubbing circles into Brian’s knuckles. 

“Jesus fuck, what is my life.” Tyler’s groan was followed by his hand sliding down his face, but Brian picked up on some of his ire washing away. He wished his anger had lowered at all, but seeing Brock’s ex open his mouth made fury rise through him again.

“Brock, you… you lost some weight.” It was insulting to hear Brock’s accomplishment said with such a surprised tone. Brian’s spine was ready to snap with how stiff it was, but he held himself still when Brock’s hand slipped to his lower back and rubbed along the vertebrae. 

“I’ve been working on being healthier,” Brock answered quietly, and Brian hated how hard it looked for Brock to make eye contact with the man who’d crushed him months ago. “It’s not really about the weight; just trying to be happy.” 

“That’s what I meant, that’s what I’ve always been telling you-” 

“No.” In an uncharacteristic rudeness that had Brian’s pride swelling, Brock steadied his feet and took a slow breath before continuing. “No, that’s not what you did. You tore me down and picked out everything you felt was wrong about me. It wasn’t about me being happy, it was about being good enough for you to date. You supported change; you just… you didn’t support me.”

“Well, I-” 

“But now,” Brock’s hand paused in its movement against Brian’s back, and he didn’t need any incentive to lean down and kiss Brock’s temple for reassurance. He felt Brock lean into the connection for a moment, as if trying to absorb Brian’s confidence in him. “I’m with someone who will.” 

“He’s only with you because you lost weight. If anything, I helped you. You’re never going to get better than you are now, which you only got to because I left you.” 

“Brock’s been the same fucking person since day one, you prick. Do you really think losing weight made him different somehow? How blind can you be? I swear to God- say something stupid like that again-” Brian was ready to launch across the floor to tackle the man to the ground, but in a blink of an eye, the man was yanked out of sight. Surprised, Brian glanced over to see that Tyler had the guy by the scruff of the neck. Using his height and strength, he manhandled the ex to the front of the gym, his scowl fierce. 

“Okay, I’m done with this. I have a no douchebag policy in my gym, and you’re well past that line. You’re done.” 

“Excuse me? I have a membership-”

“I’ll mail you a fucking refund.” Evan let out a cheer when Tyler tossed the man out of the gym, the doors slamming shut behind him. Brian wanted to feel anything but anger, but his blood was boiling. 

“Fuck!” Frustrated at himself for not chasing the man down, Brian pulled away from Brock, shoulders stiff when storming into the locker room. He barely made it past the door before he shouted again, hands slamming into the row of steel lockers lining the wall. His palms stung from the intense contact, but he didn’t care, needing to feel something other than pure rage. Why had that guy thought he had any right to make Brock feel worthless? All the emotional scars, the times Brock had lost sleep, the tears poured over that beautiful face were because of a piece of garbage like that? Another heavy roll of emotion washed over Brian, who clenched his hands and pounded against the lockers again. He leaned his forearms onto the cool metal, head no longer supported by his neck when he dropped it against the solid surface. Closing his eyes, Brian could feel his trembles trickling down his back, coasting along the skin light enough to create goosebumps in their path. 

“Brian.” The voice was cautious and soft, and Brian wanted to curl into it and never come out. He didn’t move from his tense position against the locker, hearing Brock move closer. “Tyler said to tell you he really did revoke his membership. Just deleted him from the database, too.” 

“Probably so I wouldn’t look up his address and beat the fock outta him.” And deep down, he knew Tyler’s caution was right on the money. 

“You wouldn’t really-”

“I would.” He took his time lifting his head to make sure that Brock could take in the serious expression on his face. “I would do it without a second thought.” 

“You shouldn’t do that.” Brock didn’t flinch away from the violence, but his concerned look was enough to settle some of the anger in Brian’s stomach. 

“After everything that focker did to you, I’d be more than happy to rearrange his face. Give me one reason I shouldn’t.” 

“Because that wouldn’t make me happy.”  Brian felt his lungs release the final wisps of tension at Brock’s soft touch, palms sliding over his cheeks to cradle his face in his hands.  “He’s a coward who would press charges, and then I’d be the one punished again. It’d just hurt me in the end.”

“Don’t want that,” Brian admitted without a fight. His shoulders slumped, leaning his weight onto the lockers. How did Brock ease his soul like this? Seconds ago, he’d been ready to tear through every house in the town in order to find the bastard who’d hurt the nicest man Brian had ever met. Now, nuzzling his nose against the soothing touch, he just wanted to hold Brock. But his body still shook with anger, and he didn’t trust himself to stay soft yet. Not the way Brock deserved. So he kept his forearms still, letting Brock take the lead in bringing their mouths together for a kiss that only lingered for a second. When Brock continued, the words caressed his lips like a whisper for nobody else to hear. 

“Neither do I. So we need to put this behind us.” 

“But he-”

“All that matters is that I’m here with you right now, not chasing after him to blow up his ego and make excuses for why other guys are stronger than him.” Brian could tell from the wistful way Brock’s tone shook that he’d been in those shoes far too many times before. “He can’t hurt me anymore. Maybe a year ago, seeing him would have ruined my confidence for days. But you helped me find my self-worth. I love myself too much to let him break me down again. And giving him any more of our time just feels wrong. So we’re not going to go after him; let his last memory of me be standing tall by your side without him. That’ll be worse than any bruise you’d give him, because it won’t ever fade. He’ll know I’m...” 

Brock’s confidence faltered, and Brian’s focus zeroed in on the quiver of the thumb that brushed over his cheek again. Brock was trying to be so strong, to be the support that Brian needed after he lost his cool over the ex. He was so amazing, and it shook Brian how often the beauty of Brock’s personality was hidden to make others feel better. Like Brian, right in this moment. And playing the bull-headed gym idiot others tended to see him as, he’d forgotten something important. 

“He’ll know you’re mine, sweetheart.” Brock’s face dusted with red was always Brian’s favorite image, and he felt a genuine grin catch the side of his lips at the sight. Still, he didn’t feel clear enough with his words. There was no way he was going to let Brock walk out of the locker room without knowing exactly what Brian wanted. Feeling in control of himself, Brian dropped one arm from the locker, his fingers roaming over the curve of Brock’s hip to pull him closer. Their chests met as Brian turned to face him, crowding him between his body and the lockers. “Tonight, he’s gonna go to sleep with the knowledge that I’m the luckiest son of a bitch in this town, because you’re my boyfriend.”

“Really?” The wide eyes and parted lips only lasted until Brian nodded. Then, like the first hint of sunlight over the horizon, Brock’s face bloomed with awe. His cheeks were stilly rosy, rounded and perfect to cradle the cute nose between them. His lips couldn’t hide his teeth from how brightly he smiled, eyes aglow with a warmth that would make fire jealous. Hands that others could find too clammy or pudgy were soft silk holding Brian’s cheek tightly, their foreheads meeting in the middle without words. Brian couldn’t stop himself from kissing Brock once, twice, three times more, his own relief growing with each second Brock didn’t deny the claim. And when he needed to pull away (because lungs didn’t care about romance), he made sure to use the space to answer Brock’s silly question.

“I’ve been head over heels for you since I saw you singing on the treadmill.” 

“Oh my God, Brian. You're the worst.” But the pure joy that came out of Brock’s watery laughter proved he didn’t mean it at all. Brian wanted to feel that giggle on his mouth, but before he could lean in again, a crackle shot through the air.

“Attention, love birds! Tyler and I would like to go home sometime before Christmas, so please stop fucking in the locker room. And clean any sex messes you make!” Mini’s loud cackle after the comment could be heard outside of the loudspeaker, and Brian laughed at the absurdity of their lives. Brock didn’t seem to find the humor in it, groaning before dropping his head onto Brian’s shoulder.

“I take it back; Craig’s the worst.” Despite rubbing Brock’s back to show sympathy, Brian couldn’t wipe the grin off his face if he tried. 

Because he and Brock were together.

No doubt about it.

And look at that; happy ending! I love these two, theyre so fun to write. <3 So I hope you’ve enjoyed this! Don’t forget about our Podcast tonight, come join and hang out, and as always, like, reblog, and let me know what you think! <3

[captcas]

Worth Fighting For (7/?)

WORTH FIGHTING FOR by capthamm

Killian “Hook” Jones is a dominate up and comer in the UFC while Emma “The Savior” Swan’s career was cut short. When Hook’s manager moves up and the office brings in UFC’s youngest legend to keep him in check, will either of them be able to handle it?

read on ao3 // tumblr: ch 1/ ch 2 / ch 3 / ch 4 / ch 5 / ch 6

[CHAPTER 7/?]

The meeting with Regina is largely pointless, so when she gets an urgent phone call and politely asks them to leave the office Killian is more than happy to oblige. He can tell Emma still feels a bit awkward around him, but he knows that’s probably just residual from their chat earlier. He’s doing his best to be a friend now that she’s made it abundantly clear that’s all she wants– he’s pretty positive she said the word “friend” at least three times in their short conversation. He can do “friends”– it’s not at all he wants with Emma, but he’ll take what he can get.

They’re walking towards Emma’s cubicle and he hesitates only slightly before speaking up, “Would you like to, uh, grab an early dinner?” He has to mentally tell himself not to scratch behind his ear. Friends get dinner, right? Wrong. (If the look on her face is anything to go by.) “Or, uh, nevermind, Swan. I didn’t mean to–”

“No, no, no. If it were any other night, I totally would but I–”

He can’t help his sigh. He’s a bloody idiot to think she wouldn’t be busy. Probably someone else she met at their gym, or maybe the coffee shop. Lucky bloke. “Aye, lass, it’s alright. Another time then.” He gives her a forced smile and turns away, hopefully putting both of them out of their misery.

“I have a son.” She practically whispers it.

He did not expect that.

Killian turns on his heels, walking into her cubicle to give her some privacy for a topic she seems to have kept entirely under wraps. “I have a son and, uh, no one knows– well I mean Regina knows– but I try and keep him pretty low profile so his life is as normal as possible and so he doesn’t think I’m some superstar… not that I’m a superstar... and he usually has soccer after school, but the coach is out of town so I have to pick him up earlier than usual. So, it’s not that I wouldn’t go to dinner because I would… I just–” She’s looking at him but her hands are doing a number on the loose string attached to the end of her blazer.

She’s babbling again and he smiles before cutting her off. “I understand, Swan; I’m sorry. I didn’t know— obviously. We’ll plan for lunch another time, my treat.” He does his best to seem unphased by this important information, knowing his curiosity would be less than helpful right now.

She looks utterly stunned. Her face shifts slightly and he catches a small smile before relief washes over her. “I’d really appreciate that, I mean, I’d like that. Thanks? I’m sorry?”

She’s chuckling awkwardly and he’s pretty sure she’s never looked so vulnerable and trusting– so beautiful. “It’s quite alright, Swan. As I said, I understand, and I’m sorry for making you feel like you had to tell me.”

She dips her head slightly, quickly breaking their eye contact, before speaking softly, “I wanted to.”

His chest tightens, knowing her confession means more than she’s letting on. Emma wanted to share a piece of her world with him. A large piece of her world– with him.

Wow.

He has to take a second to process that before answering, “I appreciate your trust, Swan. Tell the lad I say hello.” She meets his eyes and smiles softly. He doesn’t want to push so he decides now is probably the best time to make his exit. “Enjoy your night, love. I’ll see you Thursday, aye?”

She nods, the smile never leaving her face, and Killian swears he could walk on water or maybe even fly.

As he enters the elevator, selfishly stealing one more glance of her before the doors close, realization drenches him like a cold rain.

He could love her – may already be well on his way to loving her.

So how in bloody hell is he ever supposed to be friends with her?

. . .

As Killian walks away, she expects regret to hit her like a ton of bricks. When it comes to her profession, she has kept Henry’s existence on a need-to-know basis for almost ten years.

Suddenly, Killian feels like he’s part of need-to-know.

That’s terrifying.

She shakes it off, not ready to deal with the emotional weight of what just happened. She checks the clock and quickly responds to a few emails before heading out to get Henry from school. Emma rarely gets to pick him up and she’s excited for a bit of mom/kid time before her weekend away.  The look on Henry’s face when he sees her standing in front of the school is worth everything she’s ever sacrificed. He runs down the sidewalk, a piece of posterboard flapping in the wind behind him, before barreling into her legs. “Mom!!! You’re here?!”

She can’t help but laugh with his contagious enthusiasm. She hugs him a bit closer, “Yeah, kid. Thought I’d play hooky and we could go get some ice cream.”

His head perks up at the idea of ice cream, “At Granny’s?!” Emma nods and grabs his hand to start the few block walk to their favorite restaurant. “Will Ruby be there? Ruby is always there and she makes the best sundaes– no offence, mom.”

Emma chuckles as their arms swing back and forth, “None taken, I can’t be the best at everything.” Henry rolls his eyes in a way that is just so herthat she almost stops in her tracks. She knows he’s her son– obviously, she was in labor for almost 13 hours and has the c-section scars to prove it– but something about telling Killian today makes her hyper-aware of just how much of Henry is her. When it comes to looks, he’s all his father: brown hair, brown eyes, and that nose, but the more his personality blossoms, Emma realizes he’s got a lot of her in him too. She smiles at that thought, and how Killian would probably laugh at the way Henry rolls his eyes, while Henry explains whatever art project is supposed to go on the poster board.

Emma asks a few more questions about Henry’s art project and– riding the high from smoothing things over with Killian and simply loving her son– she doesn’t really think about the implication of the next sentence before it leaves her mouth, “Oh, Killian says hi by the way!”

Henry’s jaw drops more than she thought possible. “Hook knows I exist?”

Shit. Emma has always been upfront with Henry as far as her career goes. As soon as he was old enough to start asking questions, Emma answered them as honestly as she could for a 6 year old. Henry knows she didn’t go public with her pregnancy because his father wasn’t around and she wanted him to have a normal life, as he got older he realized that means most people in the UFC world don’t know he exists. Emma continually reassures Henry that it’s not because she doesn’t love him or is ashamed of him and he continually rolls his eyes and tells her he understands.

He’s an extremely smart almost-ten year old.

“Yeah, buddy. He asked if I wanted to grab a bite to eat and I had to tell him I was busy.”

Henry eyes her skeptically, “Well, you can tell him I say hi back.” His stomach rumbles and he grimaces in embarrassment, “Can I get some grilled cheese too?” She smiles to herself at her son’s ability to turn any conversation towards food and is silently relieved at the change of subject.

“Sure, kid.” She pushes on the door of the diner and with the ring of the bell feels the stress of the day leave her body. Since the first day Ruby and Ms brought her here, Granny has made it feel like home– not to mention all the discounted meals when she was pregnant with Henry. It also helps that Granny makes the best onion rings in Boston. She feels Henry leave her side and it snaps her out of the nostalgia. She looks up to find Ruby at the counter talking to a customer and Henry subsequently interrupting their conversation.

Ah, there’s the nine year old in him– she was starting to get worried she missed a birthday.

She catches up to him, apologizing to the man she recognizes as Archie (another regular at Granny’s) and practically dragging him to the booth while he yells something about extra sprinkles to Ruby.

This is her life and she wouldn’t have it any other way.

They order their dinner, dessert first at Henry’s insistence, and Ruby eventually joins them as they eat. They chat about nothing in particular until Emma mentions going to Maine practically in passing. Ruby knows this is anything but “no big deal” but Emma brushes off her questions, eyeing Henry next to her. Ruby nods and Emma thinks she’s out of the woods until she mouths, “We’ll talk later,” and gets up from the booth. She ignores her friend and turns to Henry, asking about his day at school until he’s finished his meal.

They gather their things and head to catch the train home. Emma feels better than she has in a long time; shocked at how much the tension between her and Killian was affecting her mood. She’s not sure when he became such an influence on her, and to be honest, it’s another terrifying fact about Killian Jones. Doing her best to ignore it, she focuses on the renewed energy she’s feeling and can’t help but let excitement for the weekend lull her to sleep.

She wakes the next morning to find that energy just as present– Henry gets to the bus stop early – and channels it into booking appearances for Killian over the next four weeks and laying out his entire social media plan for the lead up to his fight night. This level of adrenaline is something she hasn’t felt since she stepped into the ring, and while it's a slightly different feeling, the intensity is just the same. Before she knows it, it’s Thursday night, and (while effectively dodging all questions from Ruby) she’s packing for her weekend away.

. . .

Killian was disappointed when Emma cancelled their meeting that afternoon, claiming she has been swamped and they can discuss it on the car ride to weigh-ins. He’s picking her up at 9am tomorrow and he’s been distracted all week.

This has been the longest week of his life.

He schedules an impromptu training session with Robin to fill the void in his schedule, desperately trying to keep his mind off the next day.

He promptly gets the shit beat out of him; Robin easily noticing his mind is elsewhere and punishing him accordingly.

Bloody hell.

Killian heads home and immediately grabs a bag of peas from the freezer to ice his face. He’s not sure the last time he’s been beat this bad, but if he doesn’t regain focus soon he’s sure these peas will be used again. He sighs as he collapses onto the couch, some muscle in his lower back screaming at the movement. He’s only got one bag of peas so he figures he’ll just alternate between his face and back— you’d think an ultimate fighter could invest in some ice packs. He grabs his phone to add it to the shopping list he always forgets to check and is surprised to see a text from Emma on the screen.

Swan: I’ve never been to one of these before, do I need to pack anything special?

He guesses she’s nervous and he chuckles to himself before typing an answer.

Killian Jones: Nothing special, Swan. Just your usual self :)

He hits send before he can double guess himself.

Swan: Ok, thank you.

He ignores the wave of disappointment at her ending their conversation– maybe she really just needed to know what to pack. Killian’s thoughts are interrupted by another text:

Swan: 9am, right?

So she is nervous. He can’t say he blames her, the last time she was at weigh-ins was probably almost ten years ago and he’s not sure if she’s ever attended a Fight Night without fighting in it. He’s also pretty sure this will be her first public appearance since she left the league.

Nerves? Justified.

Killian Jones: Aye, love. I’ll pick you up at your apartment. Let me know if you need help carrying your suitcase.

Swan: Ha. Ha. You know I’m more than capable of that, Jones.

Killian Jones: Just trying to be a gentleman, Swan.

He calls back to their first kiss inadvertently and isn’t surprised when she doesn’t answer. Mentally kicking himself, he grabs the remote to flip through the channels, attempting to distract himself from the lack of activity on his phone.

He practically throws it at the wall when it lights up.

Swan: Yeah, yeah, Always a gentleman. I know.

She’s totally rolling her eyes right now. He’s about to answer when another text comes through.

Swan: Sorry, was checking on Henry and then got sidetracked by the dishes in the sink.

Killian Jones: Happens to the best of us, Swan. He can’t help the swell of his heart as she gives him more glimpses into her world.

Swan: Do you have a nine year old who refuses to go to bed at a normal time that you’re not telling me about?

He can’t help but laugh out loud. Nine must be a fun age.

Oh. Oh.

So that’s why The Savior left the UFC. He decides to file that in his Emma file and ignore it, she’ll tell him when— if— she wants to.

Killian Jones: Not that I know of, love. I was referring to the dishes.

He’s stunned she’s even still responding at this point. So when she answers with a laughing emoji, he decides not to press his luck. He lands on SportsCenter and half listens as they discuss the college football matchups for the weekend. Apparently Alabama is playing Wisconsin for the first time since 2015 and it’s a big deal.

He couldn’t care less.

He continues to half watch, pretending he’s not waiting for his phone to light up– it doesn’t make him less shocked when it does.

Swan: Are you watching SportsCenter?

Killian Jones: Aye, lass. Although I couldn’t care less about American football, especially the uni league.

Swan: God, you’re so British.

He knew that’d get some sort of reaction out of her– that was the point.

Killian Jones: Since June 12, 1988.

Swan: You’re 32?!

Killian actually laughs out loud. If he had roommates, they’d think he was a maniac.

Killian Jones: As my manager, I feel like you should know this.

Swan: I just knew you were old, but I didn’t think you were that old.

Killian Jones: Oi, you wound a man, Swan.

Swan: Nah, that’s your opponents’ job. I’m just trying to keep that ego in check. ;)

He can’t help but smile at how easy their conversation is and he’s wary of continuing it, the fear of ruining something good taking over. He decides to answer simply, knowing a response won’t be required.

Killian Jones: Anytime, love.

Swan: You can count on it. :D

He smiles at the fact she responded anyway, and their natural banter flowing easy even over text. Killian doesn’t have time to respond before another text flashes across his screen.

Swan: Thanks for chatting but I need to crash or I’ll be a nightmare tomorrow! See you at 9am!

He smiles; their conversation apparently worth enough to her to end it properly. There’s a million things he’d like to say, but he holds back in fear of wading too deep into these new waters.  

Killian Jones: Aye, I’ll be there. Goodnight, Swan.

Swan: Night, Jones.

With her final text his smile widens, ignoring the gut feeling that longs to end each night this way– preferably in person. He drifts off to sleep hoping this conversation is a hint at the weekend ahead of them and wakes up to nerves replaced with unbridled excitement.

[shwnus]

Big Mistake (A)

Genre: Angst 

Characters: You/Jaebum (x Jinyoung)

Summary: Just one call from Jinyoung could destroy your relationship with Jaebum.

Word Count: 3,494

Warning(s): None

A/N: I noticed I rarely write angst, so I came up with this on the spot, and boy did I get into it lol. I hope you enjoy! I’m pretty pleased with how it turned out :)

“Pieooreuneun Sunrise~”

You felt your phone buzzing in your pocket as Sunrise played. Jinyoung was calling you, to which you furrowed your brows.

Hm, isn’t he with Jaebum? I wonder what he wants..

Jaebum, your boyfriend, had texted you earlier and let you know that he was going out with Jinyoung. You were perfectly content with that, enjoying a night to yourself. You weren’t sure exactly where they went, or what they’re doing, but that wasn’t a big deal to you. You’re a very easygoing and understanding person, especially when it comes to your boyfriend. Of course you would occasionally get jealous, but you wanted him to have space and to enjoy himself, even if it meant without you.

You answered your phone, “Hey Jinyoung, what’s up?”

“Y/N, hi.. how are you?”

“I’m fine, hun, what about you?”

“Uhm.. I’m alright. What’re you up to?”

You paused for a moment, wondering why Jinyoung was calling and asking all of this while he was out.

“I’m just sitting at home, why?”

“So..,” Jinyoung took a deep breath, “JB and I are at the bar, and…”

You were confused, he made it sound as though that was a bad thing. They were both adults, they were free to do whatever they pleased. You grew more concerned as Jinyoung’s voice was fainter, and a bit shaky.

“And?” You asked, coaxing him to continue.

“Right, sorry. And, well.. you may just want to come and see yourself..”

“Is JB okay?” You asked, your hands becoming sweaty.

“Just.. get down here, okay? Do you know where to go?”

“Yeah, I’ll be there soon, Jinyoung.”

“Great, I’ll meet you outside. See you in a few, Y/N.”

You hung up, your mind flooded with questions. You couldn’t even begin to imagine what could possibly be wrong. It was just the two of them, out having a couple drinks, like they have in the past. What made tonight so different? You grabbed your keys, your jacket, and left your apartment, not bothering to take your car. The bar was in walking distance, and the weather was perfect tonight. The wind blew through your hair as you walked down the sidewalk. You threw your jacket on as the wind picked up.. The closer you got, the more that Jinyoung’s figure came into view. He noticed you, smiling and waving. You waved back, picking up your pace to reach him. He held out his arms, and you gave him a quick hug. You looked up into his eyes, and could see they were filled with worry and concern. You frowned slightly,

“So, why am I here?”

Jinyoung didn’t respond, he just took your hand and led you into the bar.

“Jinyoung, why are you being so cryptic? Can’t you just te-“

Your eyes were scanning the room as you spoke, and they had found Jaebum. He was obviously drunk, a smug look smeared on his face. And there was a girl with him.

On his lap.

She was tracing her hands up and down his chest, her chest practically in his face as she teasingly moved her hips on him. The girl pressed her entire being onto Jaebum, her lips crashing onto his. Your eyes welled at the sight, you couldn’t believe that he would let this happen. You thought he loved you.

The moment her lips landed on his, Jaebum’s eyes were wide open, and he saw you. His eyes grew even more, and he quickly shoved the girl to the side.

“Y/N… I…”

His speech was slurred, he couldn’t form a proper sentence. He began to walk towards you, stumbling slightly. You turned away, walking out the door and down the road, not wanting to face him. Jinyoung ran after you, grabbing your shoulder and turning you to face him. Tears were falling down your face at this point, and Jinyoung sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I’m so sorry, Y/N, I thought it would be best for you to see it for your own eyes..”

You balled your hands into fists, your nails digging into the skin. You lifted your head up to look at Jinyoung, your eyes were red and puffy. You messily rubbed away the residue as you attempted to control your now unsteady breathing.

“Can I take you home? Please?”

“Wha.. what about JB..”

You croaked, you could barely get out a word without wanting to burst into tears.

“I’ll come back for him, I promise he’ll get home safe. I know you’re only a couple minutes away, but please, let me walk with you.”

You nodded, needing his company more than ever. Jinyoung was the one you turned to when you needed a best friend’s point of view. Anything Jaebum knew, you could guarantee that Jinyoung knew as well. The two of you had a strong bond, he was basically your big brother.

Jinyoung took your hand in his, gripping it tightly and squeezing. You gave him a half hearted smile, your eyes still dripping tears. He wiped one away as it fell before the two of you began walking back to your apartment.

“Do you need me to stay over?”

Jinyoung and you were at your door, and he didn’t feel comfortable leaving you alone. You thought for a moment, you knew you would do something stupid if you didn’t take him up on his offer.

“Yeah, actually, I would really appreciate that..”

Your voice was still weak, your throat sore from all the crying. He smiled at you, pulling you into his embrace. You tried to keep yourself from falling apart any more as your arms held him against you tightly. He squeezed before pulling away,

“Let me take Jaebum home, make sure he’s okay, then I promise I’ll come back. Okay?”

You nodded, finally being able to smile, “Thank you Jinyoung.”

“Of course, Y/N, no need to thank me. You know I love you, you’re my best friend.” Jinyoung flashed his teeth at you, and you couldn’t help but chuckle.

“That’s what I wanted, a little bit of happiness.” He pinched your cheek before leaving to go and take care of JB.

You walked in the door, tossing your keys on the couch. You went straight to your room, falling face first into your bed. You started sobbing again, not being able to control your emotions. You let yourself go, let all of your emotions free, and cried for what felt like ages. You gained control again, taking a deep breath and wiping away any leftover tears. You went into your bathroom, splashing cold water onto your face. You looked into the mirror, your eyes were even puffier and bright red, your cheeks showed a pink hue as well. You grabbed a towel, patting your face dry. As you hung the towel up, you heard a knock on the door. You made your way to the door, opening it and letting Jinyoung in.

“Welcome back,” you said, smiling weakly.

“How are you feeling?” He asked, closing the door gently behind him.

“I just saw my boyfriend, the boy I’ve loved for years, have some slut grind against him and make out with him. So I’ve been better.”

“I’m sorry I asked..” Jinyoung said, his voice growing softer.

“No, it’s okay..,” you sighed, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.”

“I understand,” he said, “You should try to get some sleep, Y/N.”

You couldn’t agree more. The longer you would stay up, the more that these thoughts would haunt you and drive you insane. You needed to rest and try to push forward to tomorrow, where you can really decide on what to do.

“Are you okay with sleeping on the couch?” You asked, and Jinyoung nodded.

“I don’t mind, I just want to be here in case you need someone throughout the night.”

You grabbed Jinyoung, burying your face in his chest. He rested his chin on top of your head, his hand trailing up and down your back. You held onto him for a while before mumbling, “Thank you, again.” You pulled back, looking up at your best friend, “I guess I’ll try to sleep now.”

“Good idea!” He said, giving you a thumbs up.

You laughed, gently pushing him, “You’re such an idiot sometimes.”

Jinyoung shrugged, “Can’t really argue with you, there.”

You both laughed before you told Jinyoung goodnight, and made your way back to your room. You tossed on your pjs before slinking into your bed, pulling the sheets tightly around you. You fought back tears as you attempted to get some rest. Knowing Jinyoung was only a few feet away made it a lot easier for you to calm down and feel safe going to sleep. You were horrified to confront JB tomorrow, but you had to. You needed to know the truth, you weren’t going to ask him tonight while he was shitfaced. You had to wait until tomorrow, which made things even worse for you. Your eyelids grew heavy the more you pictured her, chest in your boyfriend’s face, her lips on his. You couldn’t help but get worked up again, and ended up crying yourself to sleep.

You woke from your slumber, the sunlight pouring through the window. You squinted, trying to search for your phone to see what time it was. 10:23, not too bad, you thought. It took you for what seemed like years to fall asleep, but once you did, you had no trouble staying asleep. The moment you stepped out of bed, your heart dropped to your stomach, images from last night already flooding your mind. You sleepily walked to the bathroom, brushing your teeth while looking at yourself in the mirror, tears already beginning to form. You sniffled, finishing up in the bathroom and quickly getting dressed.

You walked out of your room and heard the TV, and you smiled to yourself. You had almost forgotten that Jinyoung had slept over. As you stepped into the living room, Jinyoung turned his attention to you and grinned.

“Morning, sleepyhead,” he said, pushing himself off the couch and walking towards you. He ruffled your hair,

“Nice bedhead.”

You shoved his arm away lightly as he laughed, and you pouted. He looked at you, a slight frown forming on his face.

“How did you sleep?” He asked, guiding you to the couch and sitting you next to him.

“It took a while to fall asleep,” you began, “but once I was asleep, I was knocked out.”

“That’s good I suppose,” Jinyoung commented, “So..”

You paused, waiting to see if Jinyoung had more to say, but he trailed off, his eyes now adjusted on the floor. You had decided to wait until this morning to ask Jinyoung for his side of the story, hoping that maybe there was a misunderstanding. Maybe Jaebum was the victim in this situation. You wanted to believe that was true, but you wouldn’t know unless you got the story from Jinyoung, and Jaebum.

“Jinyoung, can you tell me exactly what happened last night?”

“Ah,” he rubbed the back of his neck nervously, his eyes now on yours, “I was waiting for you to ask that. I’ll tell you everything I can remember, and I’ll be completely honest with you, okay?”

He held out his pinky, and you chuckled, wrapping your own pinky around his.

“We got to the bar around.. I wanna say, maybe, midnight? Jaebum and I sat at the counter, making small talk, nothing new. I took a couple shots but that was all, I wasn’t planning on drinking a whole lot. Going to the bar was his idea, really. Jaebum drank a lot more than I did, obviously, he was drunk by the time you got there. Before you did though, some girl walked over to Jaebum and started flirting with him. I tried to tell her to go away, but she wouldn’t listen. She just kept touching his arm and whispering in his ear. Of course, JB was shitfaced, so he hard a rough time taking action, and forming a sentence to tell her to fuck off, but he kept looking at me, and I could see it in his eyes that he wanted her to stop.”

A tear fell down your face as Jinyoung was telling the story. He noticed, his eyes widening, and he quickly wiped it away.

“Did you want me to stop?” He asked, resting his hand against your arm and gently rubbing it.

“No, please,” you sniffled, “Continue, I’m just.. still sensitive. I want to hear everything, though.”

He nodded, continuing,

“By that point I went outside to call you. I told JB before I went out there that I was going to do so. I mentioned you being his girlfriend, hoping that chick would back off after hearing that. She didn’t, of course. Then you showed up and, well, you saw the rest.”

You took a moment to process everything Jinyoung had just told you, the scene forming in your mind again. It was still fresh, you could hear and see everything that had occurred. You took a deep breath, running a hand through your messy hair,

“So, Jaebum didn’t actually do anything?”

Jinyoung shook his head, “That was all her, she took advantage of him being drunk, knowing she could get away with that bullshit because he couldn’t think straight. I’m so sorry I didn’t do more, Y/N, I never thought she would go so far as to kiss him.”

You waved your hand, “No, please, Jinyoung. Don’t blame yourself, it isn’t your fault. You tried, it’s not like you didn’t..”

You voice trailed off, your body was flooded with so many emotions. You were happy to know Jaebum wasn’t cheating on you, but you were pissed off, wanting to find that girl and knock her teeth out. You still felt depressed as well, imagining the scene over and over again. It was like the player was broken, and you couldn’t stop it from replaying what happened.

“I need to go and see Jaebum..” You said, your voice breaking.

“Did you want me to drive you?”

You shook your head, “You’ve done more than enough, thank you so much.”

You reached over and hugged Jinyoung tightly, “It’s the least I can do, Y/N, I know how much he means to you.”

Jinyoung pulled away, “And trust me, he loves you more than anything. I can guarantee that.”

You smiled, your cheeks turning red. Jinyoung chuckled, and patted your shoulder.

“I should head out.. Oh! I texted JB earlier. He’s at home, he doesn’t feel like going out today. I’m going to grab lunch with the others. Do you want them to know?”

You nodded, “Yeah, actually.. Well, not everything, exactly. I trust you to share the right amount of information.”

Jinyoung gave you a thumbs up, “Of course! I’ll text you later to ask how you’re doing.”

You walked with Jinyoung to his car, giving him one more hug before he got in and drove off. You took another deep breath, calming yourself before getting into your own car and driving to Jaebum’s.

You knocked on JB’s door, your hands already sweating. Your heart was pounding inside your chest, it was difficult for you to stay calm. Even after knowing what actually happened, you couldn’t help but feel nervous. What if what Jinyoung thought was wrong?

The door opened, revealing Jaebum with his hand against his forehead. You could tell he was completely out of in and hung over, but the moment his eyes fell on you, they lit up.

“Y/N!”

He exclaimed, pulling you against him. You patted his back, not actually wrapping your arms around him. You were still hurt, you didn’t feel like you could show him much affection right now. Jaebum noticed, and pulled away, frowning. He leaned down in an attempt to kiss you, but you moved back.

“Sorry..” He mumbled.

“It’s okay,” you said, “Can we talk?”

Jaebum nodded, gesturing to his sofa. You followed suit, sitting next to him. He placed his hand on your leg, gently drawing circles into the fabric of your jeans. You looked down at his hand for a brief second, but didn’t push it away. You wanted some form of contact with him, but your heart was still hurt, and you didn’t have the strength in you to return the feelings.

“Y/N, I.. I’m so sorry. This is all my fault, I shouldn’t have drank so much. I don’t know why I did, I’ve just been all over the place lately, and I didn’t even think to control myself. You probably hate me right now,” His head was now in his hands, “and I don’t bla-“

“I don’t hate you, Jaebum.” You stopped his rambling, and he lifted his head, making an “oh” shape with his mouth.

“You don’t?” He asked, his voice unsteady.

You shook your head,

“I never have. I may be pissed off, but I never thought to myself that I hated you.”

Jaebum sighed in relief, pausing for a moment before he responded,

“Did Jinyoung say anything?”

You nodded, and told him about Jinyoung calling you, and how he explained the events of that night. Jaebum listened intently, his eyes never leaving yours.

“Well uh..” Jaebum moved his hand to hold yours, and you allowed it, “Do you, uhm.. do you believe him?”

“I have no reason to think Jinyoung is lying to me, but you’re the one who was actually involved. He can’t read your mind. So, you tell me. Do I have any reason to not believe him?”

Jaebum quickly shook his head, “Not at all,” he began, “I don’t even know who that girl was. Everything’s a blur, to be honest, but I just remember her trying to flirt with me.. She couldn’t keep her hands to herself, even after Jinyoung and I both attempted to stop her. It was like she couldn’t hear either of us, or accept ‘no’ for an answer. I think she was almost as hammered as I was, honestly,” he rubbed the back of his neck,

“By the time you had stormed out, I was upset, and ended up yelling at her. I didn’t say much though, she wasn’t worth it. I went outside, and saw that both of you were gone.. I think by that point I passed out by the side of the building? Jinyoung woke me up and drove me home, and I threw up.. Then fell asleep. Now here we are.”

The room fell silent as you thought about everything that was said. Jaebum never meant to hurt you, you could see the pain in his eyes. You knew he regretted last night, even Jinyoung could tell he didn’t want any of this to happen. Things got out of hand, and the word “no” meant nothing to this chick. A weight was lifted off your shoulders, having the truth given to you made things a bit easier.

“I love you, Y/N.” JB said, breaking the silence,

“I always have. Please don’t forget that. I’m so sorry about all of this.. I never meant for any of it to happen..”

Jaebum’s eyes fell to the floor as his voice trailed off. You held Jaebum’s cheek, finally having enough strength to do so, and his eyes instantly flickered up to yours. You leaned closer to him, and he quickly followed, his lips crashing against yours. You smiled against his lips from his urgency as his arms snaked around your waist.

You’ve kissed Jaebum plenty of times before, but this felt different. The amount of love and passion in the kiss was overwhelming, you could feel how upset he was. You moved closer to him and tangled your fingers in his dark locks. Your body was now pressed against his as he tilted his head to deepen the kiss. You tried to pull away to catch your breath, but JB’s grip tightened on your waist, not wanting you to pull away so soon. You held the kiss for a few more moments before Jaebum allowed you to pull away, your breathing slightly heavy. He smiled at you, his eyes sparkling, and he placed another kiss on your forehead.

“God, you have no idea how much I’ve wanted to do that..”

You laughed at him, “It’s not like we haven’t kissed before, dork.”

“I know but..,” his cheeks showed a pink hue as his eyes fell,

“When I saw you walk out that door, I was so scared I lost you.”

“Jaebum..” You mumbled, pushing a strand of hair out of his face.

He shifted his gaze back on you,

“I’m not leaving you any time soon.” You told him, grinning.

He flashed his teeth at you, a wave of relief falling over both of you. He pulled you back in for another kiss and mumbled against your lips,

“Thank goodness.”

[pcyheartgirlx]

In The Bleak Midwinter - [CH 1]

Genre ;; Angst/Smut/Fluff/Romance

Pairing ;; Chanyeol x Reader x Seokjin

Word Count ;; 10.5k

Summary ;; “We’re all whores, we just sell different parts of ourselves.”

You own a multi-billion dollar company, servicing the biggest names in kpop, in more ways than one. Under the name “Starlight Catering”, you, your best friends, Damon and Maya, and your hundreds of workers provide stress relief for idols.

You have partially retired, not because you didn’t want to, but because Chanyeol was your muse. He was all that you had time for and all you needed. Until Jin came along.

So what happens when you mix fire and ice?

You get smoke and all the lines are blurred.

A/N ;;  Now we’re getting started ;) This one is a Jin chapter. Don’t worry, Chanyeol is coming next and boy. I had fun writing this. Enjoy <3

[PLAYLIST] [BACKSTORY] [PROLOGUE] [CH1] [CH2] [CH3]

The sound of your heels clicking on the floor flooded the hallways of your apartment complex. Soon after, the sound of your keys jingling out of your blazer pocket accompanied the rhymatic strides of your heels as you approached your apartment door. Suddenly, your other senses started to alert as you smelled something burning. It was coming from your home. You picked up the pace in your walk and fumbled with the keys at your door as you barged into the house. You dropped your leather briefcase and made a beeline to the kitchen where the odor of burning meat was seeping from.

    On the stove were charred pieces of what could have been bacon, and directly adjacent to it was your best friend and business partner, Damon Daniels, slumped on the stool. He was hunched over the white marble island with his right arm stretched out and his left tucked under his head. Your first instinct is to grab the pan, discard the wasted bacon (it killed you deep down inside to waste such good food), throw the pan in the sink and possibly kill Damon somewhere in between that.

“Are you fucking kidding me, Damon?!” you screamed as you turned the water on letting the pan cool down. This barely even startled the sleeping man as he just groaned, slowly peeling himself off the marble. You started for the window to pry them open to let all the smoke out. “It looks like Snoop Dogg had a fucking cyph in here; you could have burned the whole fucking building down.”

“I’m sorry (Y/N), jeez you don't have to be so goddamn one eyed about it,” he mumbled as he rubbed the residual sleep from his eyes. “Not all of us have the pleasure of being Miranda Preistly, walking around being a boss bitch.”

He watched you walk over to him with your hands on your hips and a glare that shot right past him. Damon was rarely affected by any of your nagging at this point. It’s been 15 years of friendship. He was immune. “Don’t give me that fucking look, okay? Some of us are still working class citizens.”

    You rolled your eyes and him and propped yourself on one of the two vacant stools that were right next to him, playfully nudging his shoulder.

“C’mon, don’t be like that. I still work too,” you put your head on his shoulder, hoping that some skinship would soften him up even though it never did. He simply just brushed you off and sighed to himself. He folded his arms and let his head sink down on top of them. “Long night?” you asked. Frustration coating the sigh that escaped his lips.

“No,” he huffed. “It’s just that Sehun and Jongdae were so reckless tonight. I mean, yeah, I got paid double and holy shit they just felt so amazing. I swear they are unstretchable,” he cocked his eyebrow and finally faced you. “Not to mention they are addicted to this dick.”

“Okay, so what’s the problem?”

“It’s these new girls and guys we got! They’re so needy.” He propped himself up and put his hands in an awkward t-rex position, as if to demonstrate some kind of condescending motion. “Oh Damon, he got cum on my dress. Oh Damon, the hotel is too trashy. I didn’t have time to refresh. Oh Damon, which enema should I use? Oh Damon this, Damon that. You know, I thought prostitutes were going to be lower maintenance than the pretentious bitches I used to work with in the fashion district back home, but fuck was I wrong.”

“First of all Damon, they’re escorts. Not prostitutes. And don’t say that about our babies. They work hard!” You tried to hold in a small chuckle but failed. Damon hated when you laughed at his misery. Good thing he didn’t notice. He groaned and once again, plopped his upper body on the counter.

“If it looks like a duck--”

“Damon!”

“Alright fine!” he said throwing his arms in the air and then crossing them. “You know I love them, and I’m so grateful that the business has expanded beyond just us three, but it’s stressful. We have the three biggest record labels in Korea to cover.” You adjusted your pencil skirt and looked at him with empathy.

“I know, Damon, I know,” you started. “But we’re blowing the fuck up, us three. A bunch of ratchets from New York City, in this million dollar estate with hundred of workers and hundreds of clients.” You jumped off the stool and walked over to the counter. From the stainless steel fridge you pulled out a bottle of champagne and then grabbed three glasses, placing them on the counter. “Speaking of us three, where the fuck is Maya? I have really great news.”

“Honey~, I’m fuckin’ home!” yelled a voice thickly coated in a distinguished English accent. The door slammed and familiar sound of clicking heels echoed through the hallway, but these strides were different from yours. They were lighter, with a touch of grace. And there she was. Maya glided through the kitchen towards you and Damon. Her 5’2” stature seemed to have shrunk as she was almost slouching. She leaned on the island for support. “Ello, bitches. What’s all this mess on the fuckin’ table? You realize it’s only one o’clock in the fuckin’ afternoon and you lot are already hitting the booze.”

“Well, shit, hi to you too, you horrid bitch,” you shot at her playfully. She just smiled and mirrored Damon’s earlier posture, sitting on a stool letting her upper body collapse on the white marble, creating a beautiful aesthetic against her olive skin.

“And where were you?” Damon asked with curiosity.

“You were wearing that last night, Maya.” You shot back with the quickness. Your eyes widened as you awaited her response.

“Relax, I didn’t spend the night,” she said, putting her hands up in defense. “I was over at The SM building with Xiumin, then The JYP building with Jackson. Then I had to wait for my bloody twit of an uncle to call me about those legal documents, because naturally the time difference.” Her eyelashes resembled those of a fluttering butterfly as she blinked multiple times as if to stay conscious. “I was waiting in this coffee shop since six this fuckin’ morning, which by the way, was absolutely adorable. Anyway, if I came home, I would have passed out and slept until next Sunday.”

A wave of relief washed over you. Part of the conditions of working as a escort was to never spend the night at a clients house. For discretion, of course. Paparazzis were worse than sesaengs, now a days. They were always camping close by in the early mornings to capture a walk of shame, so they may boost their own credibility while destroying others.

“Great,” you said flatly. You walked over to them changing your expression into one of excitement and glee. Your two friends on the other hand were clearly running on empty. “Now I can get to the good news!” You started to pour champagne into their glasses.

“Oh for fuck’s sake (Y/N), I’m not going to be drinking a drop of that watered down fizzy piss,” Maya hissed. “Also, why the fuck does it smells like a bloody scorched hog in this house?”

Damon busted out cackling and shoved Maya playfully. She muttered something under her breath before adjusting the straps on her lavender dress.

“Okay, okay, okay, enough guys. Listen for real, please?” It seemed like begging got both of their attention.

“Starlight Catering just got booked for the KBS Gayo Festival after party! Our girls, our boys, and us. We are going to make a fucking fortune.” Damon let out a flat “yay” while Maya scoffed on about fake industry parties with fake agendas. “C’mon guys I worked really hard to book this, especially on such short notice.” It was visible that you were bothered by their lack of enthusiasm.

They both awed in unison and rushed over to you to embrace you in a hug.

“We’re so sorry, Eomma,” Damon said in a baby voice.

“Really, we are so happy to be working our genitals to oblivion,” Maya chimed in soon after.

“You guys are dicks.”

“Yep, but you love us,” Maya said as she placed a peck on your cheek. She grabbed her glass and smiled sweetly at you. This odd display of affection to others was completely normal in this household. Suddenly, you feel a fierce vibration in your blazer pocket that startles all three of you.

“Look at this bitch, keeping a vibrator in her pocket during business meetings,” Damon chortled.

“Honestly (Y/N), have you no shame?” Maya added, high fiving damon while both of them cackled and doubled over. Only they found their jokes to be funny.

“Guys, hush!” you studied the number on the screen. It was one you didn’t recognize. “This could be a potential client, so shut the fuck up!” The continued to giggle to themselves, silently.

“Starlight Catering. This is (Y/N). Can I help you?”

“Uh..Hi, how are you Ms. (Y/N)?” a voice deep as the ocean and as smooth as the finest swiss chocolate echoed into your ear.

“Oh, I’m fine, thank you. May I ask who’s calling?” Usually you would have snapped at this voice for not identifying themselves immediately but their voice was so sonically pleasing and you were so very tired that you just let it slide.

“Oh yes, I’m sorry. My name is Kim Namjoon. I’m the leader of a group called BTS. We are signed to BigHit Entertainment.”

This was it. The final music label conglomerate was in your hands. It was time to turn the charm on. You repositioned yourself and stood up straight. Your voice rose an octave in a well met attempt in landing this deal. “Of course! I’ve heard very good things about you and your boys, Mr. Kim.”

“Oh thank you, Ms. (Y/N). I’m very grateful to hear that. I also have heard equally good things about your company.” You could hear him almost fumble with his words. It reminded you of every other first call you've gotten.

“Well,” you said smiling coyly, “I’m glad I’ve upheld my reputation.” You look over to your two friends who were peering at you in anticipation. You mouthed the words “BangTan Soenyodan” to them. To say the least, they almost lost their shit.

“So, what can I do for you, Mr. Kim? I’m guessing you need some services provided for your boys.” You heard a nervous chuckle coming from the other end of the phone.

“Actually, it’s just for one of us at the moment,” his voice lowered a bit. “You see, our Yoongi has been rather stressed lately. Well, all of us have, but he seems to be carrying the grunt of it.”

“Tsk. Aw poor dear. I’m sorry to hear that,” you purred.

“Yes well, I was hoping that maybe you could possibly assist him with...stress relief.”

You immideiatly shot a glance at Maya. If she wasn’t losing her shit now, she was going to by the end of this phone call.

“Understood, Mr. Kim. I know just the perfect person for him! Man or woman?” Please say woman, you thought. This was basically Maya’s dream come true.

“With all due respect,” he said, still keeping that smoothness to his voice. “You may not have heard me correctly. As I said, I was hoping you could assist him with his troubles.”

Fuck.

“Me?” you said, completely taken aback. “Surely you can understand that I cannot. I am after all, the CEO and those kinds of demands--”

“Listen (Y/N),” the softness was replaced by a stern and sharp treble. Oddly enough, you kind of liked the bite. “We are both business people. I just want to ensure that everything goes smoothly and I know that with you being the CEO of a respected establishment and with us being the only company you haven’t added to your impressive list, you will make sure that this goes the way it should.”

Suddenly, you heard glass shattering. Realizing it was a figment of your imagination, you silently sighed to yourself and without the slightest change in your tone, you said “I understand completely. What time would you like me to be there?”

“Tonight, soon after 23:30,” he continued. “I will text you the details shortly, Ms. (Y/N).”

“I’ll mark you down for 23:30 then,” you were extremely annoyed. “Oh, and Mr. Kim, this does go without saying, discretion is a necessity. I trust that you can maintain that on your part.”

“Absolutely. It’s been a pleasure, Ms. (Y/N). I’ll see you tonight.”

“Likewise, Mr. Kim. I look forward to working with you.” After hanging up, you violently stuffed the phone in your pocket and started pacing back and forth.

“This man really got me fucked up,” you were almost yelling at yourself.

“Oh shit,” Damon said, “The NY ratchet is coming out.”

“What happened, Love?” Maya asked desperately. You made your way over to the island, putting your hands on the counter and hanging your head low. Clearly stressed, you decided to rip it off like a bandaid and just tell her.

“Listen Maya,” you said in a low tone. “Don’t be mad at me please.”

“What?” Her deep brown eyes were watching you intently.

“Promise me first that--”

“Oh for the love of god, out with it!”

“Okay,” you looked at her. “That was Namjoon. He said he wanted me specifically to go over there and perform a service.”

“Right, so why would she be mad about that?” Damon retorted.

“Well,” you folded your arms, cocked your head back before looking at her and just outright telling her. “It’s for Yoongi.”

“EXCUSE THE ROYAL FUCK OUT OF ME, BUT WHAT?!”

“Oh damn (Y/N), you a real foul bitch,” Damon chuckled.

“Um, were you guys not in the same room as me when I was talking to him? Clearly I tried to avoid it but fuck, it’s BigHit and maybe I can talk to him about you going over next ti-”

“Are you fucking kidding me? Are you fucking serious?” she stopped suddenly. “You know what? You enjoy your little night with the man I’ve fantasized about for years. How do you think I fucked the Johns back in the day without my wild imagination? But no! You go right ahead and when you get home, I’m gonna slit your fuckin’ throat and take over this whole damn business!” Maya turned on her heels and stomped all the way back to her room. “I’m not fucking playing with you either, hoe.” The sound of the door slamming sounded like the firing of a pistol in an empty alley. The echo bouncing off the walls and into the ear drums of the two that were left in the kitchen.

“Well that went well, don’t you think?” you said cheerfully looking over at Damon, a shred of guilt in your voice. Damon just shrugged.

“You know she’ll get over it. Maybe not for a few days but hey, she’ll be fine. She’s not mad at you...well she is, but it’s petty as fuck. You, just need to land this fucking client and get her that ‘next time’ you promised because I don’t think she was kidding about slitting your throat,” he laughed.

You groaned and buried your face into Damon’s arm when you heard your text tone go off.

“You better get that because you need to get this shit over with now. When the gay guy is not down for drama, you know the tea ain’t worth it.”

“Ugh!”

As you walk into the building, you can’t help but let your thoughts run wild. You weren’t even thinking about Maya’s graphic temper tantrum. It wasn’t that you weren’t concerned but you knew that it’ll all blow over. It was just that mobster mentality that was embedded into her DNA. It was your performance that you were worried about. BTS was no stranger to you. You loved them to the point where you already had an idea of what their personalities were like. It was the same reason as to why you weren't surprised when Namjoon exhibited some coldness in your conversation.

Anyway, back to the thought at hand. It had been awhile since you accepted a new client. Not because you didn’t want to, but mostly because of the success that was brought to you over the few past years. Moving away from your home in New York and giving up the business you had there, to start a new, but similar business in Korea was no easy task. But you did it. You fucking did it. Even in this moment in your life where you were under the impression that you had all the major labels under your feet, there was the last one. All the time you spent whoring yourself to individuals who were clearly beneath you, just so you could buy enough groceries for you and your best friends in this new country, is finally paying off. Your business was booming under the guise of a legitimate business. Granted, that was all thanks to Maya and her own family connection to the underground gangs in Southern Birmingham, but fuck. You didn’t need to fuck until you felt raw and used. You didn’t need to drown your own demons out with angel dust. You didn’t need any of that shit anymore. Things had finally changed. You only offered your personal services to Chanyeol from EXO and…well, that was it really.

As quickly as these thoughts raced into your mind, they were gone. You hadn’t realized that you had reached your destination. You double checked the number of the apartment in the text and let yourself in. The second door on the right.

You approached the door, but before you entered, you pressed your ear closely against it. It was quiet. Namjoon did mention that Yoongi would be sleeping, so you quietly made your way inside. The room was pitch black and the only light that was visible was the light of a game console that allowed you to see the outline of the furniture in the room. You scanned the room until you found his bed. Yoongi was laying on his side, peacefully sleeping. You almost didn’t want to wake him up. Although you couldn’t see what he looked like, you imagined his facial expressions to be soft and tranquil.

Quietly, you kicked off your heels as you approached the bed. Still trying to keep a silent demeanor about you, you pulled the covers over you and laid on your side so you were facing his backside. The warmth of his body almost caught you in a trance. It had been a while since you laid next to someone who wasn’t trying to fuck you. Even though it wasn’t going to stay that way, you enjoyed it for a moment.

But back to business.

You inched closer to him, pressing your body against him. You wrapped your arms around him and your glossed lips made their way next to his ear.

“Oppa,” you whispered. “It’s time to wake up,” you purred.

No answer. No reaction.

“Oppa,” you repeated. “Wake up, I wanna play.” You felt him shift in his sleep but nothing other than that. At that moment, you decided to try a different approach.

“Oh, Oppa, I know you wanna play. Namjoon-ah told me everything.” Your hands started to travel from his surprisingly broad shoulders to his chest. They coasted down his defined abdomen. You stopped right at the waistband of his boxers. “I wanna make you feel good, and take your stress away, ” you cooed.

You didn’t want to waste anymore time. His cock was hard and you could feel it through the cotton fabric. Gingerly, you grasped his clothed member and started rubbing him, creating hot friction in your palms and in his crotch. Finally, a small moan escaped his lips and you felt his body quiver against yours. You pressed against him, closing any space between you so he could feel your breasts on his back.

“I know you need it, Oppa. Let me take care of you.”    At that moment, you decided to get straight to it. You slid your hands under his boxers and wrapped your fingers around his shaft.

“Don’t be shy,” you breathed into his neck as you started to pump slowly, leaving a trail of small kisses along his neck back up to his ear. You circled the tip of his member, letting his precum coat your fingers glazing it around the rest of his head. As you teased him, he exhaled in pleasure and shivered again as you brought your lips to his ear lobe and nibbled them for a second before you said, “Because I’m not.”

It happened before you could even blink. Within seconds, he moved feverishly and you find yourself pinned underneath him. At this moment, you knew he was completely awake. The darkness in the room still made it difficult for you to see him but you could feel his gaze because you knew that look from a mile away. He was ready to devour you.

You felt him coming closer to you, closing the space between you once again so you threw your head back, allowing him to feast upon your flesh. You knew Yoongi was an animal, and that he would bite and tear at the skin on your neck and chest. But he did the exact opposite.

His lips, which felt full and plush, were like snowflakes falling on your warm skin. With every collision, they were so tender and delicate, melting onto you, one not mirroring the other. He let his lips travel everywhere, to your neck, to your chest, and all of the spaces in between. He peppered kisses on your breasts, along your jaw, and onto your chin until they met yours. You met his steady pace with the fast and animalistic desire that you thought he loved so much. But he stopped you by cupping your chin and pulling away. It didn’t take long for him to meet your lips again. It was then that you realized he didn’t want to devour you. He wanted to feel you. Every single part of you. Fully and completely understanding that aspect, you kissed him back gently. He groaned against your lips and moved  his hand away from your jaw. He ran his hands down your arms, up your sides and stopping at your chest. Yoongi placed his hands over your clothed breast, squeezing them and rubbing them to his enjoyment. He pulled away from your lips and started trailing kisses down your jaw and neck once again, stopping at your breast. His hands pulled all the fabric back, trailing his tongue from the space between your breast until he was finally swirling his tongue around your nipple. Without leaving your other breast unattended, he stuffed his hand under the fabric, running his thumb along your nipple, squeezing it softly. This sensation caused you to let a soft moan escape from your lips.

“Yoongi oppa,” you breathed. “You weren’t what I was expecting.”

Suddenly, he stopped. You couldn't see his movements but you could feel him reaching over to the nightstand next to the both of you. As much as you wanted to see his face, you knew the minute he turned that lamp on, guilt was going to wash over you. Except..

“Maybe it’s because I’m not Yoongi.”

You didn’t know whether to scream or slap him. At the same time you were completely frozen. Never in your life did you imagine that you would be in the same room as Seokjin, much less having him hovering on top of you, eyeing you like he wanted to taste every inch of you.

“I’m so sorry,” your voice was trembling. “But I think I should leave,” you murmured, trying to keep your composure as you looked him in the eye.  

“No!” He pleaded and his eyes widened. “I mean,” he tried to adjust his tone. “Please...you’re so much more beautiful than what I thought you would be and…” he closed his eyes and sighed. “I haven’t fucked in such a long time.”

You studied his features in the soft light.

I can’t believe I didn’t realize it sooner, you thought. His skin had a sheer glow to it that made him look ethereal. His lips were parted slightly, pink and swollen. They glistened in the light, resembling a ripened juicy fruit that you wanted to bite into. Resistance clearly wasn’t an option today.

You looked up at him with your (e/c) orbs, your demeanor changing instantly. “I came to play didn’t I?” you hummed and bit your lip.

It was like a fire ignited inside of you both. He grabbed the hem of your dress and brought it over you. You didn’t even notice him pulling your panties down. Hell, you didn't even notice him taking his clothes off. You felt the burning sensation growing in your lower abdomen.

He crawled on top of you, you spread your legs apart, allowing him the space. You were expecting him to insert himself inside of you but instead, ran his fingers up and down your womanhood. He began making circles with his thumb on your clit, maneuvering his fingers the same way you had just done to him.

“You shouldn’t play with oppa like that, baby girl,” he growled as he got closer to you. Jin removed his hand from your clit and brought it up to your mouth. “Oppa doesn’t like games,” his breath tickled your face as he inserted his digit into your mouth, tasting your own juices. This only made you wetter, and he noticed. He pulled his finger out and the suction like pop your mouth mad put him over the edge. He kissed you deeply and ran his hands all over you one last time. Jin propped himself between your legs, grabbing his cock and lead it against your slit. He looked up at you and in that moment, time stopped. Jin was a fucking tease. All you could think was, who gave him the fucking right? The tip of his cock rested in your entrance for a while. You whined and thrusted your hips up towards him, wanting to engulf him. Instead, he pushed your hips down. Leaning his upper body down so that he’s only inches away from your face, he flashes you a devious smile.

“Fuck me, Jin.”

His erection invaded you without warning. You couldn’t control the loud moan that escaped your lips. He swiftly brought his hand up to your mouth and hushed you, reminding you not to wake the other members. But you couldn’t control yourself. What was happening to you? Meaningless sex was your forte. It didn’t phase you. But Jin was different. Every minute felt like an hour. It’s because his thrusts weren’t fast and hungry. They were slow and desperate, with rhythm that was like a ballad. He wanted to feel the walls of your womanhood engulfing him, imprisoning him in with pure desire. But it was you that was being imprisoned. You were locked beneath him, unable to make a sound while he pumped inside you, hitting your spot with every thrust. You were so close and he knew it.

“Ahhhh jagiya…” he moaned as he threw his head back. “Come for Oppa, jagi. Come for me.” Finally he removed his hand from your mouth and placed both of them on your breasts for balance. His paced quicked and you felt his cock throbbing inside you.

“Hyung!” a booming voice called out from the opposite side of the door. “Jin hyung, get the fuck out here!” You recognized the voice. It was Yoongi. Jin groaned but never stopped. Your hips were perfectly in sync as you were both reaching your climax.

“I...ahhh...busy Yoongi. Please...give me a minute,” his whole body began to quiver. You reached up and grabbed at his broad shoulders, letting small soft moans escape your lips.

“Fuck! Hyung! Get out here or I’m gonna come in!”

“I’m coming!” Jin called out as he pumped faster and faster. He wasn’t lying. The fire in your abdomen was burning and your walls suctioned his throbbing member with each and every thrust. A wave of euphoria ran throughout your body as you came all over him and the sheets. He let out a low grunt as he emptied his load inside you, slowing his pace.

“Hyung, I swear to god--”

“I came! I-I mean, I’m coming! Relax!” Jin said as he collapsed next to you. He didn’t rest long before he got up, searching for the clothes that you both had ripped off each other. Quickly he passed you a towel, your dress and panties before he dressed himself. He bolted for the door but stopped and turned to you. He looked at you for a second, laying there naked trying to catch your breath. He quickly made his way towards you, cupped your face in his hands and kissed you deeply. When he pulled away, he looked into your eyes. His face looked different than it did before. He glowed brighter, smiled wider. It was entrancing. As quickly as the moment came, it went. Yoongi started pounding at door, hollering all kinds of swear words. He ripped away from your glance after swearing to himself and ran for the door, disappearing behind it.

You propped yourself up to clean yourself as quickly as possible. Grabbing your dress, you made to the door, carefully listening to the words being said. You didn’t want to come out just yet. A) you definitely fucked up and that’s not something you usually did. B) how fucking embarrassing.

But being in the business that you were in, cleaning up messes is something you were accustomed to.

“Why is she in your room?” Yoongi said coldly. Jin sighed. You could hear him pacing back and forth.

“I...I don’t know.,” Jin stuttered.

“You don’t know?” Jins footsteps became still. “So you’re saying she just appeared in your room?”

“I was sleeping Yoongi-ah. She thought I was you!”

“So you just fuck her?!”

“Aish. I’m a man too! She thought I was you and she was touching me, it felt sooo good—“

“You know what Seokjin, fuck you”

“Yah! Who do you think you’re talking to like that? I’m your Hyung—“

“I don’t give a fuck if you’re my—“

“HEY! What the fuck are you yelling like this while she’s still here?” That sultry deep voice could be from no one other than Namjoon you thought to yourself. The time to intervene was now. You quickly threw your dress on, patting your hair down to try to look like you weren’t just getting plowed. At the end of the day, you were a CEO of a company.

“Excuse me Namjoon. We need to talk. Now.” You hissed at him as you walked out. He looked up at you standing in between the two men with a slightly panicked expression. He wasn’t alone. Behind him was a Jungkook who stood there in shock.

“How?” Was the only think Namjoon could say. You couldn’t tell if he was mad or confused. Probably both.

“Second door on the right?” You said as you flashed your phone at him. He stood there for a minute and realized his mistake.

“You two fuckin relax for a second while I fix this.” Namjoon walked toward you and brought you down the hall into what seemed to appear to be his room.

“Why did you fuck Jin? Are you fuckin crazy? What kind of unprofessio—“

“Okay, no. Stop right there because what you’re not going to do, is blame me for all this shit!” You were hoping this would give you time to make this not your fault. But he wasn’t buying it.

“You. Fucked Jin,” he said making an air diagram as if you were stupid. His arrogance was showing. As much as you wanted to put him in his place, you decided against it because he was right. You fucked Jin.

“Well, it’s not my fault you guys don’t empty your balls into some pussy every now and again!” Namjoon was taken aback by how blunt your statement was. But there was a glint in his eyes, it was guilt. I got him, you thought.

“It’s not easy, okay. We don’t have time to go out and meet people and when we do—“

“Look, I know,” you inched closer him. “I don’t need the whole story because I’ve heard it a thousand and one times. That being said, I can call  my co-owner to make up for this. Free of charge.”

“No,” he put his hand up to cut you off and lowered his eyes at you. “I’ll pay. And I’ll pay triple the agreed amount.”

“Triple?” You said with an impressed look on your face. Crossing your arms, you looked up into his eyes and you spotted it once again. The look. He wasn’t like Yoongi or Jin. Namjoon was a business person. He used intelect to maneuver in this world as opposed to his emotions. You had almost met your match. You had to ask, “Why triple?”

He bit hip lip and put a hand on your cheek, “Because, I wanna hear you scream under me too.” There it was.

You smiled genuinely at him, giving him the sweetest look before biting your lip. It was obvious he couldn’t resist you. Moving in closer to him, he goes in to kiss you but at the last second you dodge his lips, bringing a hand behind his head to pull him in closer so you’re by his ear.

“Too bad I don’t fuck the leaders,” you hissed. You pulled away from him and observed him. Not only was he confused but also a tad bit frustrated.

“That’s a shame,” his gaze fixated on you.

You shrugged and pulled out your phone, his eyes studying your every move still. What you really wanted to say is that he was a douche bag for trying to get you alone while his members were out there at each other’s throats but you knew when to pick your battles. Ultimately, you knew Namjoon was a good guy, but something was going to happen in this dorm. One by one, they would give into their burning lust and you had to be there when they did. This is how your business expanded. Namjoon was a businessman, but you were better than that. You were a businesswoman.

“If you don’t mind, Joonie,” you put a hand on his shoulder. “I believe you should tell Yoongi the new plan and I’ll be in here, making my phone call.” Namjoon laughed a bit before he turned and started to walk away.

“You’re definitely something else, (Y/N).” was the final thing he said before he left.

Crisis fucking averted, you thought and mentally pat yourself on the back. You pulled out your phone and immediately dialed Maya. No answer. You tried one more time. Still no answer. The third time is always the charm...or not. You could only think of one other person.

“Hey bitch, how was Suga’s suga?” You could already see that cocky smile plastered on his face.

“Damon, first of all, fuck you. Second, where’s Maya?” You tried to stay as hushed as you could. You could almost feel Damon shrug through the phone.

“She’s sleeping? Maybe? I don’t know,” he said flatly.

“Well go find out for, fucks sake! I need her here, now.”

“Need her where? And yes, she is sleeping in her room.”

“At the BigHit dorms.”

“Why?” His curiosity was piqued.

“Damon please just wake her up and bring her here.” You sighed and pinched the bridge of your nose.

“You did something, didn’t you? Oh, you fucked upppp! See, I knew your guilt was gonna get the best of you. Unless you did it on purpose because if you did, you a real bitch. But I doubt you—“

“Just for once, please, Damon can you just do what I ask you without the extra commentary?” You were almost at your breaking point. Had the sex not been phenomenal, you would’ve lost it.

“Just for once please,” Damon mocked you and laughed.

“I’m serious!” you snapped before lowering your voice. “I fucked up, like really fucked up. Namjoon texted me the wrong info and I ended up in Jin’s room instead.” You massaged your temples before continuing. “These boys haven’t had a good piece of ass in a while and he practically begged me to give it up to him. Yoongi was so pissed.”

“You dead-ass?” Damon continued to laughed at your expense. Putting two and two together he figured out the new plan. “Alright fine. I’ll bring her in a few. Bye.” As soon as you heard the phone hang up, you found a wall to lean on. Those thoughts started swimming in your mind again. Thoughts you kept buried deep in the back of your mind.

Back to business.

You sat on one of the chairs, opposite to the couch. You felt seven pairs of eyes boring into you as you scrolled through your phone, patiently waiting for Maya to arrive. You weren’t sure if their gaze was due to curiosity or lust, or both. You were just happy that this situation was taken care of.

“So are you really a gang affiliated prostitute from New York City?” Jimin asked breaking the silence, causing you to look up. His six other members’ faces dropped in unison. They all looked at him. Hobi whispered something like ‘oh my god” but you just laughed.

“Jimin, right?” He nodded at you. “Yes, I am.”

Jimin smiles a bit before Hoseok spoke. “You didn’t have to answer that, you know?”

“I know,” assuring him politely. “But what do I gain from denial?” You peered over at Namjoon, who you were sure told Jimin that cute little anecdote. Namjoon had his arm draped over  the armrest of the couch, his index finger caressing his bottom lip. He looked at you with that look again. “My story, is a story of success, so I’m not ashamed,” you smiled.

You studied their faces. Yoongi looked impatient. His eyebrows furrowed as if he was stuck in a deep, troubling thought. Next to him, Hoseok was dumbfounded by the situation they had gotten themselves into. Jimin sat there almost eloquently. His features were so soft and almost pure, looking around as if to find an opportunity to ask another invasive question.

Taehyung and Jungkook were the most uninterested out of the group. Exhaustion took over their faces as they sat there stealing glances from each other. And then there was Jin. Oddly standing out to you, his dark locks were tousled over his forehead and the white shirt he wore hung loosely around his neck. You studied his features as if you were trying to memorize them. His neck was long and slender, with enough surface area for you to let your mouth roam. You started thinking about how it would feel like to be on top of him, holding onto his broad shoulders while you were grinding against him.

“Do you like what you do?” Jimin’s voice shook you out of your thought. You looked at his face. His inquisitiveness seemed to shock his other members.

“Jimin, that’s rude!” Taehyung retaliated.

“Yeah,” Jungkook said. “You don’t ask those kind of things.” The curious boy put his hands up to say something, but the leader interjected.

“No more questions, Jiminie,” Namjoon snapped.

“It’s fine, guys. Really, I don’t mind.” Trying to diffuse the situation, you looked over at Jimin and smiled sweetly.

“(Y/N), I don’t think it’s very appropriate for him to be asking you these—“

“I appreciate the sentiment, but if he wants to know, he should at least hear it from the source itself,” you tilted your head, lowering your gaze at Namjoon. “As a business person, you can respect those facts, right?” You heard a chuckling coming from the other men. Namjoon shot them a glare as a result.

Jimin spoke again. “I’m not trying to be disrespectful at all, (Y/N). It’s just...well I’ve never met..uh...s-someone like you,” with that, Hoseok nudged his chest and shook his head at him.

“That’s real tactful,” Hoseok said sarcastically. You could tell Jimin was trying really hard to find the right words without saying what he really wanted to say.

Why do you fuck for money?

“Honestly, a lot of people have asked me that question,” you assured. “My answer is kind always the same too.” You stopped, mostly for dramatic effect. “Do you like sex, Jimin?” He was taken aback by your question.

“Well...yes,” he said, nervousness coating his words.

“Okay…and do you like music?” You leaned forward and your eyes locked with his, awaiting his answer.

“Of course,” Jimin replied in a matter-of-fact tone.

“So, you could say music is an expression of your passion, yes?” Your (e/c) eyes never left his and you slightly cocked your head. You often used this tactic during business meetings with new clients. It almost forces them to believe that you actually care about what their saying, when in reality their answers were being quickly analyzed and guiding you towards success. In this case though, you were genuinely intrigued.

“Well that’s what music is! At least for me, it’s a personal expression of passion and love,” Jimin added. You nodded your head in agreement and continued.

“I completely agree!” He smiled at your confirmation. “But, if you think about it, that’s what sex is as well. Which is why we like it so much; your body craves it.”

“They’re a bit unrelated don’t you think?” Yoongi interjected. His voice almost surprised you considering this is the first time you heard it. Previously, he had been screaming, and living with Damon and Maya, you learned how to tune it out. He had been quiet since then.

“Yes, you could say that,” you replied. “But the factor stays the same. Passion drives you to create something. It brings embodiment to that passion, so you can share it.”

“That’s a very vague justification,” Yoongi said bluntly. In just a few minutes of meeting him, almost everything he did reminded you of Maya. This is fucking rich, you thought. They’re made for each other. You ignored his comment just as you would Maya’s.

“Your dorm is lovely, by the way. And I’d like to add that you guys have become a force to be reckoned with,” you looked at each one of them. “Singers, songwriters, producers, dancers. Your passion takes many forms and when you convey it, you not only touch the heart of millions but you make an unbelievable amount of money. I believe that’s admirable.”

“Thanks, (Y/N). I’m glad you see that in us,” Taehyung said cutely. Jungkook nodded in agreement.

“Yeah, we appreciate those words,” Hoseok added, finally breaking silence and shooting you his well-known toothy smile. “But I’m curious now,” he chuckled a bit. “Where are you going with this?”

“My achievements are not as monumental, but I live in a similar dorm with my business partners, as you do. I wear the same designer clothes and I’m blessed with the thought of financial security. All because I sell...my passion to others who enjoy what I do. Just as BTS sells their musical talent, correct?” you pushed your (h/c) hair out of your face so they could see you clearly. “In the end, we’re all whores...we just sell different parts of ourselves.”

It was quiet for a moment. Your words were a thick glaze on their minds like syrup, spreading and descending into the confines of their own thoughts. The only one that kept their eyes on you, though, was Jin. You locked eyes with him and you saw something that you hadn’t seen before. While the other boys expressed some enlightenment, Jin conveyed something else. You’d seen his smile before in pictures, on TV, but in person it crippled you. Those same lips that left you undone underneath them, curled into a smile that sent violent chills up your spine filling you with a familiar warmth. Before you could admire it more, the silence was broken once again.

“Have you ever killed anyone?” Jimin piped up again. He said it swift but clearly, as if it took him all the confidence he could muster. Your eyes darted to him. This fuckin guy is adorable you thought. The other boys scolded him in unison and you couldn’t help but laugh. The bond that they had was just as beautiful as they made it seem.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door. Namjoon jumped at the sound and made his way to the foyer. You looked over to Yoongi and watched him change before your very eyes. His hands travels from his thighs to his kneecaps slowly, then back up. He parted his lips and let out a composed but deep sigh. He’s nervous, you thought. He noticed your gaze and looked away just as quickly. You smiled to yourself.

Maya’s light strides matching Namjoon’s echoed in your ear. You looked up and saw the brightest smile on her face. A complete 180 from this morning.

“Ello, love,” Maya bubbled, her voice filled the room like a beam of light. She made it a point to run over to you, breasts bouncing out of her top. She bent over to give you a peck on the cheek toward Yoongi’s directions, her skirt barely going past her bottom. You couldn’t help but look in his direction. A wide eyed Yoongi had his hands clasped over his mouth. His left knee started to bounce up and down lightly as if trying to control his nerves. You giggled to yourself as you caught Hoseok also catching a peak. Before you could get a word in, Maya found a way to thoroughly embarrass you.

“Well aren’t you sporting the properly fucked look,” she teased, flashing you a devious smile. Jin croaked at her words after all, she indirectly called him out. You stood up quickly and put your hands on her shoulders.

“Don’t be coy now, we all know what happened,” Maya chuckled.

“And heard,” Jungkook added.

“Why don’t you meet Yoongi, Maya?” You quickly interrupted, motioning your hand behind Maya. Yoongi darted up and wiped the sweat from his hands on his side. Maya eyed him up and down and smiled.

“Nice to meet you, Yoongi,” she purred. He licked his lips at her while he walked over to her.

“Come with me,” his voice was low, almost like a growl. He grabbed her wrist and dragged her into the second door on the left. You couldn’t help by chuckle to yourself, replaying Maya’s wide eyed gaze as she was being whisked away to his lair. Everyone watched for a second, stunned at Yoongi’s impatience.

“Anyway,” Taehyung chimed as he stood up and yawned, rubbing his eyes in an adorable fashion. Afterwards, he turned to you and smiled. “It was nice meeting you, (Y/N). Thank you for being so kind.”

“Yes thank you so much,” Jimin added. His face gleamed with admiration. “I’m sorry if my questions were to invasive.”

“Don’t be sorry, Jimin-ah. It’s quite alright,” you assured.

“Yea, It’s pretty late, guys. We should all be heading to bed. We have schedules tomorrow,” Hoseok said as he as well got up. The other men agreed in unison except one.

“I think I’ll stay up and do some work,” Namjoon stated. Shit, you thought. I can’t be alone with him.

“Jin,” you called out to him as he was starting for his room. “May I speak with you privately?”

He cocked his head but grinned at you and nodded. “Of course,” He said motioning you to his room. You darted behind him, trying to avoid Namjoon’s gaze as he lingered on the couch.

When you walked into Jin’s room, you were fascinated by the details you weren’t able to see earlier. His Super Mario collectibles brought you a wonderful sense of nostalgia. The papers scattered on his desk indicated he was still in school and you admired them. Sometimes, you wish you would have gone back. How things could have been different.

“What did you wanna talk to me about?” Jin’s soft voice brought you back to reality. You looked at him and bit your lip.

“Well,” You started, twiddling your fingers nervously. “I wanted to apologize.” A confused look was plastered on Jin’s face.

“What are you apologizing for?” He said as he walked a little closer to you. Your stomach was in knots and you didn’t know why.

“I didn’t mean to wake you and then...I touched you without permission,” you shook your head and looked down. “It was really embarrassing.”

You heard him chuckle softly. It tickled your very core. “(Y/N), I would be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy it,” Your body became tense as he continued to walk over to you and put his hands on your shoulders. “Water under the bridge. I’m happy it happened. Because you have no idea how bad I needed that and You…” he smiled wide and put a hand on your cheek. “You were amazing. I’m lucky it happened with such a beautiful girl.” He ran his thumb over your cheek softly. “Are you feeling less embarrassed?”

“No,” You giggled back. “But your attempt is cute.” You smiled at him studying his features again. You could get lost in his angelic aura all day. But you had another point to address.

“There’s something else I wanted to talk to you about,” You said softly. Jin just raised his eyebrows at you, listening attentively. All of a sudden, faint high pitched moans and low growls muffled through the walls followed by the violent taps of a bed rocking back and forth. You and Jin laughed a bit, he scratched the back of his head.

“Wow, did we sound like that?” He chuckled nervously. You just smiled and bit your lip.

“No I don’t think so,” you admitted. He gave you a puzzled look. “Yoongi sounds like he fucks like an animal. You fuck with your heart,” your statement caused Jin’s cheeks to stain slightly pink.

“I believe I fucked you with my dick,” he joked, laughing at himself. Although it wasn’t funny, you smiled anyway. He looked the best in this moment, laughing breathlessly.

“You know what I meant, Seokjin,” you retorted, getting lost in his smile some more.

“What else did you want to talk to me about?”

You wanted to ask him if he wanted to see you again. A thought that confused you greatly because you weren’t like this. Men begged you for your time, you never had to ask. Keeping that in mind, you decided against it.

“Oh to be honest, it slipped my mind,” you lied. “I guess your humor distracted me, huh?” Jin sighed in approval.

“You know, you’re not the first to tell me that,” he boasted playfully as he put his hands on his hips. “I’ve been told I’m a quite the comedian.”

“I don’t doubt it,” you giggled. “You probably bring so much joy to the people around you.”

“I just like making people smile,” he admitted. “Which by the way, yours is very beautiful. I hope I’m allowed to say that.” You could feel the blood rushing to your cheeks. Keep it together (Y/N), you thought to yourself.

“Thank you,” you said sweetly, as you twirled your hair with your fingers.

“I have a question as well,” he said as he walked over to his bed and took a seat.

“Shoot,” You replied as you watched intently. He slid his body backwards until his broad back was leaning against the head of his bed. His body slid over, creating a space next to him.

“Can we finish?”

Your face contorted as you were taken aback. Can we finish? You thought.

“Well I was under the impression we had, dear,” you shot another sweet smile at him trying to hide your confusion, even though he saw it.

“I mean we finished having sex but,” he tapped the bed next to him and grinned. “We didn’t cuddle.” He said softly.

Cuddling? That’s what he wants? You thought. You never cuddled with anyone. I mean, you did momentarily after a long session of being devoured in the throws of passion but you never just outright cuddled with anyone.

“Plus I don’t feel I got my money’s worth,” he cocked his head. “I mean we were on a time frame. I know Namjoon paid for an hour and a half and I only got a half.” His face pouted a bit. You couldn’t help but smile widely and look down nervously. A sudden thought popped into your head. Maybe you never cuddled with anyone because no one asked you. Did you even want to?

“Fine,” You said surrendering. You walked over to him and plopped your body next to him. Inching closer so you can feel his side against the front of yours. With an arm draped over his stomach, and his arm collapsing on your shoulders, you looked up at him and finished. “But on one condition.”

He raised his eyebrows at you but pulled you in closer to him, taking his free arm so it could meet with his other one and lock you in an embrace, his eyes never leaving yours.

“And what’s that?” He asked. What you really wanted to to do was sleep in his arms. To bury your face into his chest and wrap your legs around his like you were starting to do so now. That warm feeling was coming back, except this one wasn’t in your abdomen. It was in your chest. His scent permeated into your nostrils and you almost forgot to speak. You looked around the room to find a distraction. Right across from you, was his Wii console.

“My condition is that we play MarioKart,” you exclaimed, pointing at the system. Jin’s face didn’t change. Eyebrows still raised with a serene look of joy plastered on him. That look fit his elegant features so well. He exhaled sharply before speaking.

“Mwooo Jinjja? Mario Kart?” He inched closer to your face, letting his forehead rest on yours before continuing. “Fine, but I’m not going to just let you win.” You let your hand travel up to his neck, cupping it in your palm before letting out a wide smile.

“I don’t need you to let me win. I can kick your ass all by myself,” you stated confidently. With that he closed the space between your lips. Your lips collided, exuberating such tenderness and sweetness like honey coating your lips. He parted your lips by running the tip of his tongue along your bottom lip. Right as you anticipated this kiss to convert to something more racy, he pulled away.

“We’ll see about that.”

The time passed rather quickly. The two of you played a few rounds intently. He was better than you thought and you were thanking yourself for not betting anything on this game like you usually would. You were sitting between his legs, so that you could see the tv screen while still cuddling like he asked. His long arms still embracing yours, holding his controller in your lap. The back of your head was resting on his chest; pressing your controller against your own chest, trying your hardest not to lose.

“No!” You exclaimed as you watch Princess Peach coast off the road and into the starry abyss. “This is sabotage!” you groaned in frustration. “I told you I was bad at Rainbow Road.” Even though your eyes were fixated on the screen, you could feel Jin’s chest bouncing up and down against your head. He was laughing at you for what seemed the millionth time.

“A true masternim can conquer all stages,” he said in between laughs. “Just admit that you suck, Baby girl.” You playfully bit his arm and he winced exaggeratedly.

“Ahhh!” He screamed lightly. “This is a foul. I get a penalty.” He dropped his controller in your lap and embraced you closer to him. Your heart skipped a beat causing you to laugh as well.

“I didn’t even bite you that hard,” you crooked your neck back so the crown of your head leaned against and you could get a better look at him. “Don’t be a baby,” you teased. He raised his eyebrows and his mouth hung open. Just as he was about to say something, there was a knock at the door.

“Come on out, lovey,” Maya’s voice was muffled on the other side of it. “It’s about time we go home.” You sighed then pouted at Jin.

“Guess I’m going to have to kick your ass another day,” you teased as you pulled away from his embrace, getting up from the bed and stretching a bit. Jin remained dumbfounded on the bed.

“But I was winning!” He exclaimed, soon following your example by getting up himself. You smiled at him and stuck your tongue out. He just pursed his lips at you and watched you walk to the door.

“Ready?” You said opening the door as you were greeting but a delighted Maya. Yoongi leaning against the wall behind her.

“If you are anyway,” she piped up craning her neck to look behind you. “But if you’re busy—“

“We were just hanging out, Maya. Quit it,” you said shooting her down. You felt Jin creep up behind you. “Let’s go, Nagaja!” Maya nodded at your words not before shooting Jin a mischievous look then back at you. You rolled your eyes as you followed her, the two men trailing behind her.

“Bye Yoongi,” she purred softly and she took his hand in hers and toyed with it. He bit his lip and squeezed her hand before she let go. You turned to Jin who had his hands stuffed in his pocket.

“Call me anytime. I really enjoyed my time with you today,” you said as you placed a kiss on his cheek and inched closer to his eyes. “All of it.” You cooed. You felt his body shiver under you.

“Me too,” He exhaled. “Take care of yourself in the meantime.” He added.

You nodded at him and smiled, walking away with Maya at your side. You both felt the men watching you leave, their eyes glued to your behinds as they closed the door to their apartment. You two linked arms and delightfully made your way toward the elevator.

“Oh my dearest sister,” Maya said breaking the silence. “I’m so very lucky to have you in my life.” She pulled you in closer and rested her head on your shoulder.

“Dearest sister? What happened to ‘I’m going to slit your throat and take over your company’,” you scoffed as you push the down button, calling the elevator to you both. Maya gasped and clutching your arm tightly.

“What a horrid thing to say! I couldn’t imagine anyone saying that to an angel like you,” she nuzzled her face into your arm and you rolled your eyes.

“You’re a real fuckin’ piece of work, you know that?” You declared, annoyance laced in your words. You heard a small throaty chuckle coming from the smaller woman. The elevator dinged and you both entered but as you entered, you noticed something different about her.

“Wait a minute,” you studied the fabric around her neck. “You didn’t come in with that scarf.” She looked down and smiled a nervous laugh at you. “Take it off Maya! You know we can take things like that from them!” She stomped her foot and whined.

“But it’s Yoongi’s! It smells like Yoongi!” She continued to whine but you just shook your head.

“No, let’s go give it to me, I’ll give it back to you at the house,” you extended your hand out and motioned for her to take it off. She stomped her feet again and pouted. I swear she acts like a goddamn child, you thought to yourself as you watched her take it off. That’s when you noticed. She had purple welts all over her neck, chest and even traveling down to her breasts. You gasped and changed your tune.

“You fuckin’ whore, keep it on!” You panicked and threw the scarf back around her. She looked down and smiled.

“That’s what I thought,” she said as a matter of factly before adjusting the scarf again.

“And how the fuck are you supposed to work looking like that?” You exclaimed. Maya just sucked her teeth and put her hands on her hips.

“I’m allowed to take a few days off aren’t I?” Her voice was shrill, echoing off the walls of the elevator and into your ear. The elevator dinged again and both of you made your way into the lobby. “Plus it’s not like I’m missing much anyway,” she added. You just rolled your eyes at her and continued to walk through the lobby with her and out the door.

The crisp cold air bit at both you and Maya’s exposed skin. Even though you two were accustomed to being severely underdressed in this mid-December weather, you both scurried across the street where Damon’s car was parked. He was slumped in the driver's seat, sleeping as usual. You and Maya taped on the glass to wake him.

“Come on, you cum dumpster! Let us in,” you exclaimed. He rubbed his eyes and unlocked the car. Both of you plopped yourselves inside, Maya in the front seat and you in the back.

“It’s about fucking time,” he snapped. “I thought I was going to die here.” Maya shoved him playfully.

“You’re lucky I even came back,” she teased. “That was the best dick I’ve ever had.”

“Better than Yixi—wait a minute,” Damon stopped abruptly and pulled her scarf back. “Jesus fucking Christ, Maya. Did you fuck or did he try eating you?” You let out a loud laugh as Damon examined Yoongi’s artworks. Suddenly, your phone purred slightly in your hand as you received a new text. Ignoring your friend’s dialogue, you opened your phone and examined the text. Your fingers dashed across the screen and you smiled deviously.

“Alright let’s get the fuck home,” Maya sighed.

“Actually,” you leaned in closer as Damon started the car. “Can you drop me off at the EXO dorm?”

The two of your friends let out a nasally “ayyyy”, looking at each other before turning to you.

“Someone is working a double today. What a dedicated little peach,” Maya chimed. Damon laughed and added to her commentary.

“And she had the nerve to call ME a cum dumpster.” You rolled your eyes and slumped back, ignoring their comments.

“Damon, just fuckin’ drive!”

[you-are-worth-the-wait]

reflecting back...i may been a little off when i was talking with you for the first time and actually seeing you.  you asked me if i was intimidated by seeing you.  i don’t know if intimidated is the right word.  i was anxious and happy.  i was nervous.  i honestly didn’t know what to expect or why you wanted to see me to chat when we could have just kept talking on the phone.  maybe there was a little intimidation.  i don’t know.  i did wonder what was going through your mind as to why you wanted to see me to chat.  not that i didn’t want to.  i did have a lot of thoughts going through my mind.  i know that it felt good to finally see your face after such a long time.  i wanted to try my best to at least get you to smile.  i really miss seeing you smile.  i know you always looked beautiful but seeing you “in person”...i forgot how truly beautiful you are.  in that sense, that’s where i could have been intimidated.  your eyes searching for words and your body language.  seeing you brought back all my feelings in a rush that i didn’t really know how to handle it throughout our call.  i have your pictures but after seeing you today, the pictures don’t do you justice.  

as amazing as it was to see you, i think a lttle part of me kind of “died” inside.  because at the same time in seeing you and realizing how much you mean to me, it also reminded me of what i am missing out on right now, what i’ve been missing out on since we stopped “seeing” each other, and what i may possibly be missing out on and will never have for the rest of my life.  that is something that is extremely difficult for me to accept.  sometimes, i do think and feel i am being stupid and delusional because i think in terms of “our future, you and me, us” but i don’t get anything back.  i know why you dont, but at the same time, i kind of wonder if i should even be thinking or talking like that anymore.  no one else knows or believes it and i feel like i’m like that crazy person standing on the side walk believing and preaching that the end of the world is coming but no one pays him any mind or thinks he is stupid or crazy.  

truth...there have been times where i kind of feel like it’s deja vu.  you and i talking and communicating the way we are now as compared to when we were trying to communicate before at almost every chance we/you had.  almost as if we are still right there in that moment where you and i are stealing every possible moment we can just to be together and feel/stay connected to each other.  it’s liek the lengths you and i will go to just to have the other in our lives somehow.  i still get that excited feeling when i see a message from you and i do check my phone to see if i have/missed a message from you if i don’t hear from you.  it’s moments like those that make me feel that you and i are more of a reality instead of just a possibility.  like i feel the reason we do and are doing what we are doing is because, ultimately, we both know what we really want.  the only thing stopping us is this “situation”.  so i get into my head and i battle with my fantasies and reality and i’m right back where i started.  

i hate how stubborn and driven i am because when this all blows up in my face, i know that the people who know what is going on will still be sad to see me hurt and devasted but i know that they also will say, “i told you so”.  as if i should have been smarter and known from the start that i would lose everything because they warned me about everything i’m doing and yet i still kept on the way i am/did.  my thoughts are all over the place and i’m jumping from topic to topic.   

“ ...you felt more alive between 2018-2020 when you and I were intimately involved, yes?”  why did you ask/phrase it like that?  was there a follow up or a sentiment you wanted to express from your side?

like i started saying, it wasn’t even the intimate part that made me feel alive.  i know that there was a part of me that was somehow secretly and deeply attracted to you in one way or another.  i don’t know what the exact pull of it was, but i do know that i did enjoy your company.  i did enjoy getting to know you and finding out little bits and pieces of you here and there.  i did wonder why you asked so many questions and what was the reason/purpose behind those questions, but at the same time, i did try to answer them for you as openly and honestly as i could or allowed myself to and your reactions made me smile and i found myself drawn more to you.  like i said, if it wasn’t you who made a move, it may have been inevitable that i would have made a move first.  i was the one who pulled your body into mine and held you closely when we walked to our cars after karaoke.  it took every fiber of my being in that moment not to kiss you.  i know i wanted to.  but i didn’t know how you would react.  telling somone you like them is one thing.  grabbing their body and holding them close to you is kind of a different thing.  if you didn’t feel anything at that time, then i would have thought i got away with holding on to someone who i could see myself being attracted to and wishing i didn’t have to let you go till i could figure out what it was that made me do what i did.  kissing you in that moment would have been a whole other level.  but then again, it seems like a lot of things that i did to “start” things didn’t really proceed the way you’d think it should normally proceed.  although maybe i should have clued in to certain things evne way back when.  like how when i randomly ran into you at taco y taco.  we had neverr intereacted as much or whatnot but i was genuinely excited to run into you and even though i had no idea what to talk to you about, i walked away from the interaction pleasantly surprised.  when i first saw you at the jail, that brief but apparently not so brief moment when we just stared at each other.  i still don’t know till this day exactly how long we stared at each other.  but the fact that a part of my decision of accepting the position at the jail had to do with hope/chance that i’d be able to run into you.  there were other factors but you actually were a factor mixed into my decision.  when i let slip that people would find your clumsiness endearing.  i thought it was embarrassingly cute and funny and entertaining.  not in the “haha, what a dork” way but “aww...she made such a mess and she stained her clothes for the rest of the day.  that’s something that i can use against her in a teasing way to make her laugh.”.  there were little things about you that even though i didn’t really know you, i found myself wondering what else would i notice about her?

all these experiences and moments that i’ve been able to have since we stopped seeing each other, they are nice.  they are welcome distractions and i’m able to say that i do enjoy the moments when i am in them.  but i don’t know if i can honestly say that i’m “happy” or that i’m “living”.  i look on and i smile but all my mind can think of is, “i wish she was here with me.  i wonder what she would think about this.  i know she’d enjoy this.  i wonder what we would do at this moment.”  and then the moment is gone and i’m left alone with my thoughts again...wondering.   

grrr...it frustrates me so to see how “arguements” start between my parents over the way they “speak/communicate” with each other.  then i think about you and him and your arguements.  i think about other people.  then i think about you and me.  it’s rare to be able to speak as freely as we do and to still enjoy talking to each other with respect.  like, we could have fun, we can have arguements/misunderstandings, we can tease each other, but we know that everything we say is never with the intent of hurting each other or to be said with malice.  we understand that about each other.  so if one of us were to hurt the other, we both know that wasn’t the intent, and figure out where things went wrong, and come out of it for the better.  other fights/arguements i see, there’s usually now resolve, and the next arguement will just be a bit more intense because it will have some residual from the previous arguement.  

i don’t know.  i just wonder how much longer are we going to live our lives without each other in it.

did i answer all your questions/ponders?

[everlarkbirthdaydrabbles]

My birthday is April 28th. I don't maintain a blog on Tumblr though. I created an account just to follow the fabulous fellow Everlarkers here. If you can, I will take anything I can get but if possible, some smut please. *bambi eyes*

Happy birthday! Here is a little something special cooked up just for you by @katnissdoesnotfollowback. Have a wonderful day and enjoy the read!

Have Your Cake and Eat It Too

Happiest of birthdays toyou! I hope you enjoy what I’ve cooked up for you and it adds to to yourcelebration. Thanks to @peetabreadgirl for prereading this sucker.  

TWENTY-FIVE

“I’m gonna be late. Please tell me you made somehot water for tea this morning,” Peeta says to his brother as he rushes intothe kitchen and tosses his bag on the counter.

“Gotta move faster, old man,” Ryen teases, butlowers his newspaper enough to point to the kettle sitting on a siliconetrivet.

“You’re two years older than me,” Peetagrumbles, not bothering to look at what he is sure is a self-satisfied smirk onhis brother’s face, choosing instead to focus on pouring the water into histravel mug and dropping in a tea bag to steep.

“Yes, but nothing good happens aftertwenty-five. They expect you to be an adult after twenty-five. For real,” Ryencomplains and Peeta curses as the hot liquid splashes over the edges onto hishand when he moves it a little too forcefully towards the spot where he leftthe lid.

“Graham would disagree,” he mutterssarcastically as he shakes the tea droplets off his hand and wipes the residueon a towel. His skin stings, but he doesn’t have time to deal with it.

“Graham is an idiot,” Ryen returns, but hedoesn’t say the rest of what they’re both thinking.

Their oldest brother is currently racked out ontheir couch, having crashed there and made himself at home a month ago when hiswife filed for divorce and their parents insisted that Peeta and Ryen needed to‘take care of their poor, stressed out brother in his time of need.’ Grahamhasn’t budged to find himself a new place since, choosing instead to revert tohis bachelor lifestyle and mooching off his two younger, single brothers.

But lately, in addition to the aggravation oftheir parents’ coddling of him, he’s been driving both Ryen and Peeta insane bydispensing what he calls ‘pearls of wisdom,’ which is basically theirbrother’s idea of life advice, but they both know it’s really Graham’s way offeeling better about himself…by making them feel inferior about their lives.For Ryen, it’s the promotion he didn’t get – and didn’t want because it meantmoving to another city. For Peeta, it’s the fact that for the past two years,he hasn’t had a steady girlfriend – and hasn’t wanted one since every datehe’s been on in that time has felt like a betrayal.

“Since he’s so deep in divorce attorney billsthat he apparently can’t even spare a twenty for a birthday present, he’sdetermined to get you laid tonight,” Ryen warns, making Peeta jump and bang theback of his head on the fridge. He winces and sighs when he sees that they’reout of milk. Slams the fridge shut to glare at his brother.

“His idea, not mine,” Ryen insists, holding hishands up in what’s meant to be an innocent gesture.

“You expect me to believe you didn’t have a handin that suggestion? Right. Well, tell him that I’m not interested,” Peeta saysand slings his bag over his shoulder, grabbing his tea and his blazer, andrushing out the front door, thumb entering a reminder into his phone to pick upmilk and a few other essentials they’ve run out of on his way home from work.He’ll have to stop by the school’s cafeteria to get some milk for his tea, andput himself even further behind schedule. His lunch break will simply need tobe sacrificed to finish grading papers for his afternoon classes.

“Tell him yourself, old man. And have a niceday, Dipshit!”

“You too, Asshole,” Peeta shouts over hisshoulder and then comes up short at the sight waiting for him out on theirdriveway. His best friend, leaning against his car door with a brown paper sackin her hands, her car parked out on the street. His lips automatically curve upin a smile that she returns.

“Happy Birthday, Peeta,” Katniss says as sheshoves herself off his car and steps aside so he can toss his things inside.

“It is now,” he replies, missing the slightflush that spreads across her cheeks while his head is in his car and hisattention on getting his tea into the cup holder without spilling more andburning himself again.

When he stands upright to focus on Katniss, shebrushes some lint off his shoulder and he tucks his hands in his pockets so hedoesn’t do something stupid like haul her against his chest and kiss hersenseless.

“Any big plans for tonight, birthday boy?” sheasks, oblivious to what her melodic voice and words do to him. Usually theywould’ve made plans by now, but they’ve both been so busy at work, they haven’thad a chance to talk about it in more than a general capacity.

“Avoiding my brothers’ schemes to spice up mylife,” he says and Katniss laughs. “Care to help me with that?”

“Sure,” she says and reaches out to straightenhis tie and ruffle his hair a little. He’s not sure what was wrong with itbefore, but Katniss seems satisfied with his appearance now, and that’s goodenough for him. “Netflix and dinner? I know it’s not exciting…”

“Sounds great,” he says with a smile, alreadyrelaxed at the idea of spending his birthday lounging on the couch with hisclosest friend.

“Since it is your birthday, I’ll cook.Johanna has a date tonight, though, so I suggest your place,” she admits with aquirk of her lips and Peeta has to smother a laugh.

The last time they hung out at her place,Katniss’ roommate had brought home a date and gave the pornography industry arun for its money in the erotic noises department. Katniss had been soembarrassed until Peeta suggested they head up the street to MidnightMilkshakes, an ice cream place that stays open until well into the early hoursof morning. They’d both been exhausted at work the next day, but it’d beenworth it to spend the time talking and laughing with her over a shared caramelapple milkshake.

“I’ll get rid of my obnoxious brothers. Sixo’clock alright?” he asks and Katniss nods, shoving the brown sack at hischest. “What’s this?”

“Breakfast,” she says and he smiles as he peeksinside to find one of his favorites from his family’s bakery, a savorycroissant wrapped around a slice of ham, some cheese, and eggs. When he looksup to thank her, her mouth bumps into his. He freezes. His heart thuds wildlyin his chest as she pulls back, too soon for his brain to register anything importantlike texture or taste or reality. Her cheeks flush bright red and she looksaway from him faster than the kiss lasted.

“Um, so, yeah. See you tonight, Peeta,” shemumbles as she practically sprints to her car.

He waits until she’s turned the corner before hedrops heavily into his driver seat. His brain makes no note of the drive towork, too occupied playing the moment over and over in his head, trying to makesense of why Katniss kissed him. Of what makes today so different from anyother day they’ve spent together, and desperately trying to not get his hopesup. She didn’t look too excited about kissing him, after all. She basically ranfor the hills as soon as it was over.

“Ah, fuck. Stupid, stupid stupid,” he mutters tohimself, thumping his head onto his steering wheel after he’s parked in theteacher’s lot and the truth punches him in the gut. She was aiming for hischeek. Of course she was aiming for his cheek. That would make sense,since she’s kissed him there before, but Peeta lifted his head at the wrongmoment and instead accidentally forced her to kiss him on the mouth. No wondershe was so embarrassed.

With a heavy sigh, he shoves himself from hiscar and grabs his things. Now he’s going to have to figure out how to apologizefor the faux pas of kissing his best friend in front of his house, withoutletting on that he’s madly in love with her.

Happy Birthday, indeed.

**************************

TWENTY-ONE

‘Just let these little leaves fall off yourbrush. All kinds of little things happy. And go out sometime in the woods andstudy trees. Talk to trees. Whatever it takes. The tree needs to be your friendif you’re going to paint him.’

“Hey,” a smoky female voice says in his rightear, making him jump and tug out the earbud from his left. “As much as I enjoywatching you paint along with Bob Ross, you might want to pay attention. She’sabout to tell us what’s gonna be on the test on Friday.”

Peeta doesn’t turn around because Professor Coinis inspecting the rows of students, steely eyes looking out for anyone notpaying attention or talking. He ducks his head, pauses his video, and switcheswindows on his laptop before typing madly for a second or two. When Coin turnsher back on the class again, he angles his head enough to mutter over hisshoulder at his thoughtful neighbor. “Thanks.”

“No problem. Paint me the cabin by the lake nextlecture and we’ll call it even,” she says and he can hear the jaded smile inher voice. He wonders what she looks like, but Coin’s throwing rapid fireterminology and concepts at them to review so he remains facing forward.

He hates this class, and he rarely ever hateshis classes, but economics is just so boring. There’s no life to it andhe took up painting in a drawing app in one window while Bob Ross’s sonorousvoice calmly talks about happy trees and other far less stressful things inanother window to get him through the hours of drudgery. Still, he didn’t wantto be called out as a slacker, so he was always careful to only use one earbudso half his brain could pretend to focus on the lecture.

As the list of material to be covered on thetest lengthens, he keeps stealing looks at the clock in the bottom right cornerof his screen, counting down the minutes until he can finally talk to the girlbehind him. His curiosity is piqued and he wonders if she’s been watching himpaint for the past two months. It should bother him, having someone look overhis shoulder like that, but if it’s gotten her through the dull lectures too,he can’t be sorry about it.

He wracks his memory for an image of her, but healways gets to this class a little early since that’s the way the bus schedulesworked out, comes in through doors that enter the massive lecture hall from theupper level and walks down the stairs to his seat, and then doesn’t really lookbehind him during the class. He’s certain he’d remember if someone was sittingright behind him when he arrives, so she must get to this class after him.

Finally, Coin wraps things up and Peeta twistsaround in his seat to catch her before she leaves, she’s bent over her bookbag, stuffing her textbook and a binder into it, her dark hair in a braid, partiallyobscuring her face from him.

“Hey, thanks again,” he says, catching herattention as she sits up and looks at him with pewter gray eyes. A distantmemory sends bells ringing in his head, but he extends his hand to her anyways.“I’m Peeta.”

“Katniss,” she says, but makes no move to shakehis hand.

“Katniss Everdeen?” he asks and hopes his voiceisn’t as squeaky and stunned as it sounds in his head. Her eyes narrow a littleand he shakes his head, clearing the fog that seems to be obscuring his abilityto think. “We went to Panem Twelfth District Elementary together. I’m PeetaMellark? Dad owned the bakery?”

“Oh. Yeah,” she says, and he’s not convincedthat she remembers him. Why would she? She didn’t even know he was alive backthen, but he had the biggest crush on her until the mines closed when they wereeleven and her family had to move away because her father had found a jobacross the country.

“Okay, well, um, thanks. For the warning aboutthe test. Again,” he says and wipes his palm on his shirt for something to dowith his hand, which she still hasn’t touched.

He turns back around, a little humiliated andcloses his laptop before sliding it into his bag. Ten years later and he stillcan’t even manage a passable conversation with Katniss Everdeen. Pathetic. Sohe’s more than a little surprised when he stands with his things and she’sstill there, watching him.

“You used to bring in cupcakes for the wholeclass around the first day of spring every year,” she says, startling him thatshe’d remember that.

“Yeah. I did. March 20th. It’s um, my birthday,”he says and shrugs, because that also happens to be today. It’s always kind ofsucked anyways so he figures what harm can come of him telling his childhoodcrush what today is.

“Then Happy Birthday, Peeta,” she says with asmall smile that sends his pulse skittering for a second. “Any big plans forthe night?”

Wait. What? Isshe flirting with him?

He’s not sure what to make of this unexpecteddevelopment and takes a second to find his bearings in this unknown territory.“Nothing special. My brothers are taking me out for my first legal drink,because what the world really needs is one more obnoxiously drunk guy in abar.”

She laughs. She actually laughs at somethinghe’s said, the sound musical and beautiful. He’s heady with it and that surelyis the reason he keeps speaking like the idiot he is.

“You wouldn’t want to come celebrate with us,would you? You could bring a few friends with you, if you like.”

Katniss examines him for a moment, chewing onthe corner of her bottom lip in the most adorable way.

“I don’t know. Maybe. I’ll have to see what myroommate has planned for the night,” she says, but she asks for the name of thebar just in case.

Despite his brothers’ encouragement later thatnight, he manages to nurse his drinks and keep his head. Should Katniss showup, he doesn’t want to be wasted. As the night wears on with no sign of her,though, Peeta mentally berates himself for getting his hopes up. Eventually, hisbrothers drink themselves deep enough that Peeta knows he needs to get themhome before they do something dumb, like get themselves arrested.

He approaches the door, with both brothershanging off his shoulders, and of course, that’s when she walks in with a groupof friends. For a moment, he watches her twirl the end of her braid around onefinger and scan the crowds. When she sees him, she drops her braid to wave, andhe shrugs, giving his brothers annoyed looks. She seems to understand, becauseher friends say something to her and instead of stopping to talk with him, sheheads straight for the bar with one last shy wave of her hand.

So much for that.

But on Friday, when they’re packing up aftertheir economics test, and he’s more confident than usual about how he did, sheleans over his shoulder to whisper a reminder in his ear that he owes her acabin by the lake. He smiles, still facing forward so she can’t see his goofyexpression, and makes sure to have the video queued up at the start of Monday’sclass.

************************

TWENTY-FIVE

It isn’t until his third period class is filingout the door on their way to their next class that he manages to fire off atext message to Katniss. Part of that is because he’s been debating about howto handle the accidental kiss. Eventually, he settles for acting like it didn’thappen, just to test the waters, see how she’s feeling, before he brings it up.

P: Thanks for the breakfast this morning. It wasdelicious.

K: Anytime. I figured you’d be running lateafter I kept you up last night with my venting.

P: Did talking it out help you sleep better atleast?

He feels a little guilty for waiting until nowto ask her how she slept last night after they spent hours on the phonediscussing a research grant she applied for and was having second thoughtsabout taking, since she’d be working for a colleague she’s butted heads withalready. It’d be good for her career, but Katniss is worried that the stresswon’t be worth the rewards. Here he’s been tied in knots over an accidentalkiss that he’s probably overanalyzing while she’s dealing with life alteringdecisions.

K: Sort of.

Peeta’s brow wrinkles at that. Usually she tellshim that his empathy when she unloads her problems on him and his calm voice asthey talk her through to a solution are exactly what she needed to help herrelax and lull her into peaceful slumber. He worries that maybe he wasn’t thefriend she needed last night, although he’s got no idea what he could’ve saidor done wrong. Since their friendship is the most important thing in the worldto him, he needs to be sure he didn’t give her a half-assed effort or saysomething bone-headed last night.

P: Am I losing my touch? ;-)

The first few students of his fourth periodclass wander into the room and he tucks his phone back into his pocket, even asit buzzes with a new message, to focus on greeting them. Katniss knows hisschedule; she’ll understand if he doesn’t respond for the next fifty minutes orso.

Pushing his rolled up sleeves a little furtherup his arms, he smiles at his class and gets back to work, shoving thoughts ofKatniss and worries about that not-a-real-kiss to the back of his mind. Itworks until his lunch break, when he takes a look at the text message she sentback to him.

K: Actually, it’s the opposite

What the hell does that mean?! He’s on the vergeof being a wreck for the rest of the day, and it’s a good thing he’s busybecause otherwise he’d fire something back, demanding an explanation. At theend of the day, he settles on something simple, deciding that this is aconversation to be had in person rather than over text where inflection andnonverbal cues can be lost or misinterpreted.

P: Are we still on for tonight?

K: See you at six

Relief and dread mingle in his middle as heleaves the school and heads for the grocery store with his short list. Reliefthat the last text from her sounded more like she’s acting like herself again,dread that they still haven’t even mentioned what happened this morning.

************************

TWENTY-TWO

Someone is pounding on his door, and all hereally wants to do is tell them to fuck off, but immediate guilt at theunkind thought sweeps through him and he opens the door.

“You’re taking me out for milkshakes, birthdayboy,” Katniss says, charging him and shoving him back in the apartment andtowards his room.

“Katniss, I–”

“No excuses. It’s your birthday, and while yourmother might be a complete bitch and an incompetent parent, I forbid you tomope.”

“It’s raining,” he says, tugging nervously onhis ratty t-shirt. She crosses her arms and scowls at him. With a sigh, heducks inside his bedroom and changes into jeans and a nice shirt. One with acollar and no holes in it, shoves his arms into the sleeves of his jacket andlifts one eyebrow at her, requesting her approval.

“Better,” she says with a perfunctory nod andopens the door before marching out like she’s royalty.

By the time they reach the new dessert parlor,Midnight Milkshakes, they’re both drenched and decide they want hot chocolateinstead. She gets marshmallows on hers while he asks for whipped cream andcinnamon. When they take their seats, she surprises him by sitting next to himin the booth instead of across from him.

He laughs lightly when she snuggles into hisside and drapes his arm around her, nearly making him spill his drink. She mustbe cold, but he’s not about to make her stop what she’s doing and rubs his handup and down her arm to work some warmth back into her.

“See?” she asks as he takes his first sip ofcocoa. “This is much better than a cruise in the Caribbean, right?”

There’s still a tiny part of him that’s angrywith his mother for taking a cruise over his birthday with her new husband, andhurt over his mother’s roll of the eyes and exasperated sigh when he brought itup. ‘You’re twenty-two, Peeta. You don’t need birthday parties anymore.’No, he doesn’t, but those cruises leave every few weeks. She could’ve picked adifferent date. Plus, he’d still like it if someone at least tried tomake the day special for him. Like Katniss is doing right now.

Sometimes, he still can’t believe the stroke ofluck that placed them at the same university, in the same economics class. Orthat led her to sit behind him the first day of class and find herself absorbedin his digital paintings. She’s his best friend and the one person he canalways count on, so he ignores the flip that his stomach does when she smilesup at him, moaning in delight at her cocoa. Again when they’re curled up on hiscouch beneath a blanket, Katniss in a pair of his borrowed sweats because theirclothes got further drenched in the rain on their way back here. And again whenshe yawns and rubs her cheek against his shirt.

“Keep talking, Peeta,” she urges him, her voicedrowsy with pending sleep. “Your voice is soothing.”

He’s not sure what he talks about, but when sheslips into slumber with a faint smile on her face, he wraps his arms around herand smiles himself, content with the way his birthday turned out. When he wakeswith Katniss still curled in his embrace, he sighs and decides the aches in hisneck and lower back from sleeping propped up on the couch like this are totallyworth it.

************************

TWENTY-FIVE

“So here’s the plan–”

“No,” Peeta cuts Graham off before his brothercan even get started. “Whatever crazy idea you’ve got in your head, expunge itright now.”

“Oh he’s using the AP English words. That’s howyou know you’re losing this fight, right, Graham?” Ryen laughs as he loosens histie and takes the milk from Peeta to put in the fridge and grabs three beers,passing one to each of his brothers.

“You got a better plan?” Graham asks as hetwists the cap off his beer and chucks it across the room into the trash can.

“Yeah,” Peeta says after taking a sip of his ownbeer. “You two get lost so I can actually have a pleasant birthday spent withmy best friend.”

“Oh christ,” Graham mutters and Ryen shakes hishead.

“What?” Peeta asks indignantly.

“You’re spending your twenty-fifth birthday withher?” Graham asks, sounding highly offended.

“Of course I am!”

“That’s a terrible decision,” Graham mutters andPeeta’s the one offended now.

“He’s right, Peeta,” Ryen says and they bothstare at him. “Well he is!”

“Thank you,” Graham says smugly.

“Don’t think so highly of yourself. I’m sayingthis for Peeta, not because I think your broke and almost divorced ass shouldever be listened to. Peeta, listen to me. Go fuck someone. Seriously. Maybethen you’ll get over this unrequited love you’ve been harboring for Katniss foryears.”

“Excuse me for wanting to spend my birthday withsomeone I actually like being around rather than some horny stranger you twodig up out of a misguided sense of taking care of me,” Peeta says and moves tofinish putting the groceries away. “And since it is my birthday, I suggest youtwo finish your drinks and get lost. She’ll be here any minute now.”

“Fine, fine, but only because it’s yourbirthday,” Ryen concedes, dragging a protesting Graham towards the living room.“Come on, ya bum, let’s go see if you’ve actually got decent bar hoppingclothes before we raid my closet.”

“Just pick up the living room before you go,will ya?” Peeta shouts after them.

“Just kiss her already, will ya?” Ryen returnsand Peeta’s cheeks burn with the humiliating reminder that he kind of alreadydid. And it was nothing like the first kiss he’s imagined a hundred thousandtimes.

Thankfully, though, his brother’s are busygetting ready to go by the time Katniss shows up with a bag of groceries in herhands and unable to humiliate him in front of her.

************************

TWENTY-THREE

He opens Skype ten minutes early, plugs in hislaptop and sets it to never sleep when plugged in. Just to be sure. Then hewalks away from his computer, certain that he won’t be hearing from her, eventhough she was very specific in her instructions. She’s got precious littleinternet time where she is, and he doesn’t want to miss it, but he’s trying notto get his hopes up. So far, he’s gotten Happy Birthday greetings and giftsfrom his brothers, but otherwise, twenty-three is indistinguishable fromtwenty-two. Peeta’s in the midst of preparing himself mentally to be let down whenhis laptop starts beeping and blooping with an incoming call.

The chair nearly slides out from under him inhis haste to sit down. He runs his hands through his hair and smiles beforepressing the green circle to answer. Immediate joy rushes through him when shesmiles at him.

“Happy Birthday, Peeta,” she says and his heartdoes somersaults, just so happy to hear her voice for the first time in months.

“Hey, beautiful,” he breathes out and sheblushes a little. He kicks himself for his blunder but keeps going in the hopesthat she won’t drag him on his birthday for it. “How’s the research going?”

She’s spent the past six months on a researchtrip for her masters degree in anthropology, somewhere in the AustralianOutback. Her passion is bringing to light the stories of people forgotten orerased from history around the world. While he couldn’t be more proud of herpursuit of her dreams or her success at securing the coveted grant that tookher to another country, he still misses her terribly.

“Great,” she says, and he takes the opening toask her a thousand questions he’s been saving for when they get to talk face toface. They’ve been restricted to e-mail and one very static filled call on asatellite phone due to the time difference and her rare access to the internetor postal services. After several minutes of conversation, she glances down ather wrist and shakes her head. “I’m almost out of time and we’ve barely talkedabout you!”

“Trust me, anything I have to say right now isfar less interesting. Grading papers, writing lesson plans, rereading ToKill a Mockingbird for the twelfth time.”

“You love that book,” she says with a lift ofher eyebrow.

“Maybe,” he shrugs.

“I got you something. I’m sorry I couldn’t getit there on time, but I want to carry it back myself. Not sure I trust ourpostal runners here with it.” She lifts a flat stone covered in colored dots –yellows, browns, reds, white, and even some greens – that form a sun shiningin a vibrant sky.

“Is that…?”

“It is. Ochre artwork,” she confirms.

“It’s beautiful, Katniss. I love it.”

“I thought you might,” she says as she sets itdown beside her and then gives him a grin. “But wait! There’s more!”

He laughs at her gameshow host imitation andnearly cries when she shows him the cover of a book, all about art techniquesof the aboriginal peoples of Australia. He has to scratch at the corner of hiseye to keep from crying. She’s over ten thousand miles away and still managedto find the perfect gift for him. Something that’s both her and him.

“I’m sorry it’s going to be late,” she murmurs,her face losing some of it’s happiness, probably because he’s a nitwit andnearly crying at her gift.

“No, don’t be. It’s perfect and I can’t wait tosee it in person because then you’ll be home, too,” he says, his voice soundinga little hoarse even to him. They manage a few more minutes before she has togo, but before she does, Katniss sings Happy Birthday to him, her voicesultry and soothing and perfect all at once. Perfectly wonderful and perfectlytormenting him.

When they hang up, he slowly shuts his laptopand then heads to bed early, needing to end his birthday on the best possiblenote.

************************

TWENTY-FIVE

“You sure you don’t want to join us,” Grahamasks as he and Ryen stand in the doorway that leads to the garage. “BringKatniss with you. She could be your wingman.”

Peeta grips tight to the edges of his temper.They probably don’t notice the way Katniss pinches her lips together in a scowland turns away to vigorously chop the vegetables for their dinner. It’s a suresign that she’s upset, and given what happened on his birthday last year, hewants this line of conversation to end quickly.

“There’s only so much that flying solo can accomplish,”Ryen joins in with a rude hand gesture and Peeta chucks the kitchen towel atthem to get them to leave. The rosy flush on the back of Katniss’ neck tellshim that she saw the gesture out of the corner of her eye, so now not only isshe upset over something, she’s also embarrassed. She never did like talkingabout physical intimacy.

“What’s that all about?” Katniss asks tightlyafter they’ve finally gone.

“Nothing important,” Peeta says and standsbeside her to help. She bumps her hip into his to try and move him away fromher, but he persists, snatching the vegetables and taking over the task ofchopping as she moves to slide the meat into the oven. “Graham’s decided thatsince he’s going to be a bachelor again, he’s dragging the rest of us intodebauchery right along with him.”

“They wanted to find you a one night stand foryour birthday?”

“Yeah,” he says and turns to ask a questionabout the food. He knows she’s curious but won’t like following that line ofquestioning. Talking about food distracts her, though. Within minutes, he’s gother smiling and laughing again, the discomfort of his brothers’ plans andcomments momentarily forgotten.

Once their dinner is ready, they take theirseats on the couch and Peeta scrolls through options until Katniss settles oncatching up on Outlander. For him, she insists. She’ll never admit thatthe love story intrigues her, especially the aspect of Claire’s torn loyaltiesbetween her husband and the man she’s clearly falling in love with.

************************

TWENTY-FOUR

“What the hell, Peeta?” she yells at him and hetries to shut his mouth, but can’t get over the shock at her unexpected fury.“You have a date tonight?!”

Her eyes ignite and he holds up his hands,unsure where exactly he went wrong. She’s been seeing some guy she works withat the university for the past four months and he didn’t think she’d care.They’ve gotten serious and it’s been slowly killing him to listen to her talk,to sound so happy in the arms of someone else. Hoping it would help him move onor forget, he asked Jackie, the red-haired girl at his book club, if she’d goon a date with him and didn’t tell her that the date was on his birthdaybecause he wants to forget and didn’t want to put that kind of pressure orexpectation or weirdness on a first date.

It’s his birthday, after all. Shouldn’the get to do what he wants?

Katniss sputters angrily when he vocalizes thatlast thought to her and throws something in his arms before she storms out ofthe house. He thinks about chasing after her, but he’s angry, too. Angry thatshe didn’t bother to make plans with him or mention anything about his birthdayuntil right this second. And yes, he’s to blame too, for neither asking herabout it nor bringing it up. But she’s been the one person the past four yearsto actually make his birthday special, and he had himself convinced that nowthat she’s got a boyfriend, she wouldn’t want to make a big deal out of Peeta’sbirthday anymore. Or maybe that she’d even forgotten. Her silence on the matterin the past few days only helped confirm that in his mind. He never dreamedshe’d be this upset over him having a date.

Fueled by anger and hurt, he leaves his place tomeet up with Jackie, but he’s distracted through dinner and lags in theconversation. Besides, his heart isn’t in it. He gave his heart to his bestfriend a long time ago, and is just pathetic enough to have never taken it back.

At the end of the date, he heads home andchanges into something to sleep in, although he’s probably not sleepingtonight. Not with thoughts of Katniss wreaking havoc on his mind. Finally, hesits on his bed with the thing she threw at him and carefully peels away thepaper, staring down at the butter soft cover before flipping it open andsighing. She put together a scrapbook of sorts. Pictures of them through theyears, a few of his sketches that disappeared and he’d wondered where they’dgone off to, ticket stubs that she’s saved, a few napkins with his doodles ortheir games of tic-tac-toe on them, pressed flowers from their hikes and otherassorted outdoor adventures. It’s perfect, beautiful.

With another deep sigh, he picks up his phoneand calls her, expecting her to ignore him, surprised when she answers with awavering voice.

“Hello?”

“Katniss, I’m sorry,” he says immediately. Shesniffles a little.

“I’m sorry, too, Peeta. You were right. It’syour birthday and you should get to do what you want. I just thought, well, Iguess I thought you’d want to do something with me.”

“I did. I do, Katniss. But you didn’t mention itonce. I assumed you had plans with Darius or something.”

“No. I should’ve said something to you soonerit’s just he… Well never mind what he said.”

“Okay, what did he say? You can’t drop a bomblike that and not tell me whether or not I need to go kick his ass for you,”Peeta says and Katniss laughs, because they both know that Peeta’s methods ofrevenge are far less direct but far more effective than a fist to the face, nomatter how much he’s wanted to punch any number of her sleazy ex-boyfriends inthe past.

“It doesn’t matter,” she says. “We broke up thismorning anyways.”

“What? Why didn’t you tell me that?”

“Because it’s your birthday, Peeta, and I didn’twant to ruin it for you with my drama,” she says and he shakes his head,stunned that she hasn’t figured out yet that he would drop everything for her.In a heartbeat.

“I’ll be there in two minutes. Do you have stufffor hot chocolate?”

“Maybe? I don’t know?”

“Make it ten minutes then,” he says.

“Thank you, Peeta,” she whispers.

Fifteen minutes later, they’re curled up on hercouch, sipping hot chocolate and watching some dumb comedy that was queued upin her roommate’s Netflix. Katniss rests her head on his shoulder and he wrapshis arm around her, allowing her to get closer to him. He savors the momentswhen she laughs and he can both feel it and hear it, lets his hand skim up anddown her arm. Eventually, she starts to nod off and he carefully extricates hermostly empty mug from her grip before setting it on the end table.

“Stay with me tonight, Peeta,” she murmurs as hecarries her to her bedroom. She nuzzles her way further into his embrace. It’snot an unusual request of hers. They’ve shared a bed before. And even thoughthey didn’t do anything big to celebrate his birthday this year, there’snowhere else he’d rather spend it than right here with her.

“Always,” he whispers when they’re settledbeneath her covers and her body relaxes beside him as she slips away intoslumber.

************************

TWENTY-FIVE

“So maybe we should do the cake now,” Katnisssuggests as Peeta hands her a few more plain candles. “Why do you have so manyof these?”

“Leftovers from Ryen’s last seriousrelationship. Something about seduction by candlelight on Valentine’s Day.” Helaughs when Katniss drops them on the counter like they’re hot coals. Shegathers them back up as he shuts the cabinet and climbs down from the stepstool, pointing the way with the flashlight as they work their way around theliving room, setting up the candles and lighting them.

A chill works its way down Peeta’s spine as thethunder rolls and rumbles outside. The rain lashes the windows in a crescendoas the wind picks up, then gradually softens. A freak storm rolled throughbefore they were even twenty minutes into the episode they were watching andknocked out the power. He’s already checked on his brothers, who made it safelyto some hip bar Graham wanted to check out before the storm hit.

Once they’ve got enough light in the room, Peetaflops back down on the couch and Katniss resumes her spot from earlier, tuckedinto his side with one hand resting on his thigh. He shifts nervously,listening to the storm and wondering what they should talk about. This usuallyisn’t a problem for them, so he starts by asking about her day at work.

The candles cast a soft glow over the room asthey talk in soft tones, which would usually help him relax and make himdrowsy, but Katniss’ hand keeps drifting up and down his thigh. And it’s havinga disastrous effect on him. His jeans grow tighter by the second. For now,she’s oblivious, but he doesn’t want to make her uncomfortable with how turnedon he’s getting by a little innocent cuddling and conversation.

When her hand travels a touch higher than herprevious passes over his leg, he shifts to keep her hand away from his groin.Katniss turns her head to look up at him. “Are you alright, Peeta?”

“Yeah, sure. Why wouldn’t I be?”

She shrugs slightly and chews on her lip. Peetasighs, sensing that they’ve finally gotten to the point where they’ll need totalk about that awkward kiss.

“Katniss, about this morning,” he says,reminding himself of how irreplaceable her friendship is in his life. “It wasan accident. I didn’t know you were…anyways, I don’t want things to getawkward between us because I moved my face at the wrong time.”

“It’s fine, Peeta,” she says, sounding irritatedand looking away from him. He can’t even manage an apology for kissing herwithout offending her, how can he possibly expect to actually kiss her? And headmits that he’s been thinking about it. More than usual, at least.

“I’m just sorry you got stuck here with meinstead of having a passionate fling,” she mutters. “Not the best birthdayever, is it?”

He stares down at her, thinking she’s lost hermind. Katniss squirms a little under his scrutiny until he speaks. “Believe me,there’s no competition. There’s nowhere else and no one else I’d rather be withright now.”

He hopes his voice isn’t as husky and adoring asit sounds in his mind. She blinks slowly and for a second, he thinks she dropsher gaze to his mouth, but this is Katniss. His best friend. His best friendwho was annoyed ten seconds ago when he brought up their sort-of a kiss. Thenshe slowly licks her lips and he follows the path of her tongue as it retreatsback into her mouth before her teeth tug on the glistening surface he wants sobadly to taste.

“Who says you can’t have both?” she whispers.

His brain comes to a screeching halt, completewith clanging metal and shattering glass. Because if he didn’t know any better,he’d think that his best friend whom he’s been in love with for at least twoyears, probably longer, just suggested that they have sex. Tonight. On hisbirthday.

He searches her eyes for some sign that he heardher right. Her gray eyes remain focused on him, wide and uncertain. Her chestrises with quick breaths that puff through her parted lips. She leans towardshim and every few seconds, her body trembles.

“Peeta…if it hadn’t been an accident…wouldyou have…wanted to kiss me?”

He’s expecting a strategically placed clap ofthunder to announce his impending doom, because he has no idea how or why thisconversation has taken this turn. Slowly, so he doesn’t frighten her or disturbthe threads holding them together, he nods.

“Show me,” she whispers, and that’s when hestops thinking and acts on whatever the hell mood just struck the two of them,lifting his hand to cup her cheek. She smiles tremulously and leans into hispalm. He nearly shouts with joy and caresses his thumb over her lower lip,watches the plump flesh respond to his touch. Her eyes flutter shut and heswears he hears her sigh.

He lowers his head to hers, still expecting tobe rudely awakened and realize that he fell asleep on the couch and the pastfew minutes have been nothing more than another dream. More wishful thinking.Or for her to shove him away and yell at him that he completely misreadeverything.

But then she makes a noise of frustration, grabsa fistful of his shirt in her hand and tugs on it. His body and his mindfinally come to a consensus and he caresses his lips over hers. Once to hearthe sharp inhale of expectation. Another for the soft whine that tells him shereally does want him to kiss her. Then he tilts his head the smallest amount sohe doesn’t crush her nose when his lips join with hers and he wraps his armtighter around her, turns so that her chest smashes into his.

She doesn’t run or push him away. Doesn’t remindhim that they’re friends. Instead, Katniss winds her fingers through his hair,meeting each movement of his lips with one of her own. For a moment, he thinksto pinch himself, to make sure that this is real, but that would require him toremove a hand from her, something he’s not willing to do. His head spins withquestions and desires.

Eventually, Katniss moves to lay back on thecouch, dragging him down with her. They shift limbs and hands awkwardly, stillfused at the mouth. He tries to focus on one sense at a time, to memorize hertaste, the feel of her lips on his, the sounds she makes in the back of herthroat, the scent of her soap a familiar tether to reality as they kiss. Andkiss.

Without much space, his knee slips off the couchand he has to brace his foot on the floor, even as she lifts her legs to wraparound his waist, firmly pulling him down on top of her, fingers skimming overhis neck, scraping his scalp. She moans and opens her mouth beneath his, lettinghim feel the sound as it ripples across his tongue. He returns it as theircores align, the grip her legs have on him pulling him flush against her. Hecan’t help the quick thrust into her, can’t help but revel at the heat thatsurrounds them and the friction between them, can’t help the quick leap tothinking about what this would feel like if they were both naked.

She gasps and backs away from the kiss. Peetamentally berates himself.

Too fast. Much too fast.

“Sorry,” he mutters, trying to leave herembrace, but she clings to him.

“For what?” she breathes and he stares at her,lips swollen, eyes glassy, cheeks flushed. A thrill of arrogance runs throughhim, clouding his better intentions to slow things down. He did that. He madeKatniss look like this, ripe for loving.

“For…rushing things?” he asks uncertainly.

“I don’t feel rushed,” she admits, her fingerstoying with the hair at the nape of his neck.

“You don’t,” he whispers and she shakes herhead.

“Unless…unless you don’t want–”

“No,” he says in a rush. Her brows snap togetherin a scowl and he hurries to fix the damage his haste has created. “I want to.You have no idea how much or how long I’ve wanted this, Katniss. But that’sjust it. I don’t want to scare you.”

“Why do you think I’d be scared?” she asks,still scowling. He hears his brothers’ taunts in his head, calling him ‘oldman.’ He’s not old, not even close, but an image of him and Katniss in rockingchairs, gray and wrinkled with five feet of space and no words of love betweenthem hits him just then. Screw it. He’ll find a way to repair friendship laterif he’s wrong. He can’t take the chance that he might miss out on this becausehe’s afraid.

“Because I’m helplessly in love with you, Katniss.I have been for years,” he murmurs. She smiles. Astonishing and radiant. Hisheart thunders to life at the sight of that expression. Her hand slowly bringshis lips back down to hers.

“Then stop trying to run off when I’m trying tokiss you,” she says and he laughs lightly for a second before kissing heragain.

This time, he doesn’t hold back, taking the timeto kiss her deeply. To let his hand wander up and down her side, to slipbeneath her sweater and skim the smooth skin of her belly, up to her ribs anddown, ever so slowly working his way higher.

Shock jolts through him when his fingers brushthe underside of her breast and find no bra barring the way. Lust followsswiftly behind as he cups the perky mound in his hand and she arches into him,moaning desperately. Loud enough to muffle the thunder overhead. Her legs clamparound him and after that, he loses track of who touches where and when. He’slost in the need to feel every inch of her because it is better for him totouch and discover than lose his sanity in thoughts of wasted time.

He kisses her cheeks and eyelids, nibbles on herears and neck, moves his hips to the rhythm of her gasping moans and quietpleas of nothing but ‘yes’ and ‘Peeta.’ Her hands move to his jeans to unfastenhis belt and slip the button through its loop. The release of pressure when shelowers his zipper snaps him back to some semblance of thinking and he pullsback to halt her hands.

“Don’t you want…?”

“More than anything,” he whispers, kissing herlips swiftly before turning them on the couch so she’s reclining against theback and he’s kneeling before her on the floor. Because he’s still not surewhere this is going or how much she’ll allow him, and he refuses to waste his chanceto do the one thing that has driven his fantasies of her for years.

He frantically undoes her jeans, ignoring theclank of his own belt as it flaps freely. Gripping her jeans, he tugs them downher legs, urging her to lift her hips to help. When they’re off and discardedto the side, he glances back up at her, notes that her smile still flirts withher lips. As he reaches for her panties, though, he freezes with his hands inmidair at the image of her like this. Katniss shifts her legs impatiently. Orperhaps nervously.

“Beautiful,” he whispers, fingers tracing overthe sunset hued flowers on her panties. His favorite colors. He wonders if shewore these on purpose today or if it’s coincidence. When he looks up at herface, she’s holding her fists near her mouth, chewing lightly on her thumbnails. He wracks his brains for a way to get her to laugh, to relax again.

“For me?” he asks with a cheeky grin. “Youshouldn’t have.”

Then she laughs, a little breathless but it’sstill one of hers, and helps him slide the panties down her legs. He lifts oneleg by her ankle and drops soft kisses to the delicate skin. Up one centimeterat a time, stealing brief glances at her face to make sure she’s still withhim. When he reaches her knee, he drapes her leg over his shoulder and keepsgoing. Kisses. Soft bites. Slow licks. The higher he travels, the faster andlouder she breathes until he reaches his goal and she releases a singing sighof relief. Her hips undulate beneath his mouth, her hands curving over the backof the couch to anchor herself.

He’s drunk on her taste in seconds, lost in thehooded gaze she bestows on him when he looks up at her. With a teasing dip ofhis tongue, he moves to the side and down her other leg. Katniss whimpers androlls her hips towards him again and he holds back his chuckle, still stunnedthat she seems to want this as badly as him.

“I love the way you taste,” he whispers as henuzzles her thigh and kisses down to her knee before returning where she wantshim. “I love everything about you.”

When he makes it back, she lets loose a moanthat sounds more like a song to him. He makes it his life goal to get her tomake that noise endlessly until she comes on his tongue. One hand grips hishair, and she begs him not to stop as her nails scorch his scalp. He risks aglance up at her face, twisted in effort. Peeta shifts enough to slide firstone then a second finger between her lips, nearly coming right then at theincredible warmth that greets him, the gentle tug of her walls that tells himshe’s close.

Her body bows on the couch as she wails hisname. Then she snaps back and curls in on him, legs clamping down and holdinghim in place as she pulses against his fingers and tongue. It’s everything he’sdreamt of and more.

Katniss flops back on the couch when she’s done,panting and flushed with her release. Slowly, he pulls his fingers from her andplants one last kiss on her before sitting back as her legs fall away from him.Her eyes flutter open in time for her to watch him lick his fingers clean ofher. She shudders and then covers her mouth, but not before a giggle escapesher. And then another from behind her hands.

“What’re you thinking?” he asks, scared of theanswer.

“We should’ve done this sooner, birthday boy,”she says and his cock jumps at her sultry tone. Her eyes widen and she sits upon the couch. “You weren’t supposed to do that!”

“Do what?” Peeta’s heart sinks at her words, andhe stands up to put some distance between them. But her hands grasp at his jeansand pull him towards her instead.

“It’s your birthday, not mine,” she says,confusing him because she sounds annoyed with him, but at the same time, she’syanking his clothes down.

“I wanted to,” he insists. And then her lipswrap around him and his assertion that he’s wanted to eat her out like that foryears gets lost in his strangled curse.

He tangles his fingers in her hair and tries toslow her down, but time and months of celibacy and the taste of her still onhis tongue and years of fantasies work against him. It only takes a few hardsucks of her mouth before the sensation becomes too much. He manages to pullher off of him and cup his hand over himself just in time.

As soon as the euphoria passes, the shame takesits place. He grabs his clothes and tugs them up just enough, turns away fromher in embarrassment, mumbling an apology before retreating into his bathroomto clean himself up, taking one of the candles with him. He’s a little moreharsh with his body than he needs to be, humiliated that he blew his load likea fucking teenager the second she touched him.

“Peeta,” she calls to him through the door andknocks softly before opening it. He curses himself for not locking it andfocuses on tucking himself back in his shorts and washing his hands and face sohe doesn’t have to see her disappointment with him in her eyes.

Her hands slide beneath his shirt, startling himas she embraces him from behind. “Are you mad at me?”

“No,” he says, stunned by her question. He meetsher eyes in the mirror, peeking over his shoulder. “I’m mad at myself.”

“You shouldn’t be,” she whispers. “I likedmaking you lose control that fast. And I especially liked what you did to mebefore that.”

They stare at one another for a minute, andPeeta wonders how they proceed from here. The awful thought occurs to him thatshe meant this as a one night thing. After all, that’s what his brothers hadintended, and all of this started with her saying he could have both. Both hotsex with a one night stand and a night spent with his best friend.

But now that he knows what she tastes like, whathis name sounds like flying off her tongue when she’s in the middle of coming,he’s not willing to let that go.

“Katniss, I’m still helplessly in love with you.I want to spend every possible minute of the rest of my life with you.”

“Well then come to bed, Peeta,” she whispers.She doesn’t let go of him as he lets his jeans fall to the floor and kicks theminto the corner. Even as he brushes his teeth, she keeps one hand on him whilebrushing her own with the toothbrush she keeps in his bathroom. She doesn’t letgo of him as they clean up their dinner mess, extinguish the candles, andeventually, she leads him to his own bed, crawling beneath the covers first andlooking back at him expectantly.

“We should maybe take things slow, yeah? So noone gets hurt,” he says quietly. She lifts one shoulder but doesn’t look awayfrom him.

“Okay. But we’ve shared a bed before, Peeta,”she reminds him. He laughs, although it sounds nervous or maybe hysterical tohis own ears. He runs a hand through his hair and then climbs into his bed.

As he settles beside her, she wriggles into hisarms and then cups his face in her hands before kissing him. The kiss soothesmany of his fears, but he knows they’ll still need to talk a little in themorning.

************************

TWENTY-FOUR

Bright May sunshine warms the earth, greetingthe newly bloomed flowers in the yard. Guests mingle and Peeta adds hiscarefully chosen present to the small stack before making his way over towardsthe grill where Katniss is engaged in a heated discussion with a tall,dark-haired guy he doesn’t recognize.

She looks up and smiles at Peeta, sending hisheart tripping over itself before she meets him halfway and throws her armsaround his neck.

“Happy Birthday, Katniss,” Peeta murmurs intoher neck.

“Cut the crap. What’d you bring me?” she asksand he laughs, but points out his gift on the picnic table. She hurries overand tears into it.

“Aren’t you supposed to wait until after we singto you?” he teases.

Katniss scowls at him, but the glint of mischiefin her eyes tells him that she’s not truly angry with him. She flips open thesmall box and he holds his breath, waiting for her reaction. Her hand tremblesas she runs a finger over the delicate silver locket with the bird engraved onit. Carefully pulling the necklace from its cushion, she holds it in her palmand opens it, gasping slightly when she sees the pictures.

Lately, she’s been missing her family more. Herparents and her sister. Peeta managed to get his hands on pictures of them, allsmiling and happiness, and tucked them into the locket to remind Katniss thatshe’s never alone. To remind her of the people who love her when she’s off onresearch trips or responsibility and distance conspire to keep her from herloved ones a little longer than she’d like.

“For when you miss them,” he says quietly,hoping he hasn’t stepped over the line. But she looks up at him with glisteningeyes and hands it to him before turning her back to him and lifting her hair.

“Help me put it on?” she asks.

“Of course,” he says and gently lays it acrossher throat. Once the necklace is clasped, he squeezes her shoulder and she letsher hair fall back into place.

“I love it, Peeta,” she says, turning to facehim again. She rests her hands on his shoulders and rises on her toes, pressinga kiss to his cheek. “It’s perfect.”

“Good, because I’m pretty sure they don’t takereturns,” he says to cover they way he’s flushing and trembling at the firstever brush of her lips on his skin. She laughs, but then Johanna shouts for herand Katniss leaves him with a sigh.

He wishes he could have more of her time, butthe gathered crowd demands much of her attention. When he does get a momentwith her, he points out that she’s clearly got droves of adoring friends. Shecomes back claiming they’re all there for the free food, a typical Katnissresponse that makes him laugh.

Halfway through the meal, he’s sent to thekitchen to grab another container of potato salad from the fridge. On the wayback, he’s stopped dead in his tracks before he rounds the corner of the houseby the conversation he hears.

“You’re not even the least bit upset that hecame here with Madge and they’re now sucking face?” Johanna asks, and Peetaknows she’s talking about Darius, Katniss’ ex-boyfriend, who showed up to theparty as Madge’s guest. Which means Johanna is talking to Katniss. He shouldannounce his presence rather than eavesdrop.

“God no. He can suck face with whomever hewants,” Katniss responds without a trace of anger, malice, hurt, or evenjealousy in her voice.

“I knew it. You’re in love with him,” Johannacrows.

“I am not,” Katniss insists.

“Not Darius, Brainless. The one that caused yourbreakup with Darius,” Johanna drops her voice and Peeta’s ears perk up asKatniss speaks again.

“I don’t know what you mean,” she insists, butthere’s a hitch in her voice that tells Peeta she’s lying. His heart plummetsto his toes and he braces a hand on the side of the house. Katniss is in lovewith someone. It was only a matter of time, but he thought he had more of it.

Ever since she’d broken up with Darius, Peetahas been working up the courage to finally tell her how he feels about her. Itwouldn’t be easy or simple, he reminded himself. Their friendship means theworld to him, and to her too, he hopes. Risking it on a romantic relationshipmight kill it or hurt them both. So he planned on being delicate about bringingit up, emphasizing that he’d do everything in his power to keep theirfriendship alive, to include burying his feelings as deep as necessary if theyturned out to be as one sided as he suspects. But now it sounds like it doesn’tmatter anyways. He waited too long.

“Oh come on. We both know Darius dumped youbecause he knew it, too. It’s all over your face every time you’re around him.You need to get on that before someone else does,” Jo keeps going despiteKatniss’ protests. “I’m just saying, there’s any number of ladies who wannaclimb him like a tree. Plus, he’s head over heels for you.”

He’s heard enough and back tracks to open theside door to the house before slamming it shut to give them a warning andwalking back around the house with a smile on his face. He manages to smile atthem both as he walks by on his way to take the salad to the buffet table.

Five minutes later as Katniss fills her platewith seconds, the tall and dark-haired guy from earlier rubs elbows with herand talks to her quietly.

“Oh, Peeta, this is Gale,” she introduces them,a pretty flush on her face. “Gale and I went to the same high school together.”

“Yeah?” Peeta asks as he shakes Gale’s hand.

“Ran into one another back in February, was it?”Gale says, glancing at Katniss for confirmation. Peeta misses whatever shesays, his mind caught on the timing, so close the day she and Darius broke up.And this is the first he’s heard mention of Gale at all. Which means they’vebeen seeing each other and Katniss hadn’t seen fit to tell Peeta, her bestfriend, about it. He swallows the lump of hurt this revelation causes.

They talk for a minute, but when Katnissfinishes her food and tosses her plate in the trash, any miniscule hope Peetahad left is smashed to pieces. Gale leans down towards Katniss and murmurssomething that makes her laugh, her head thrown back and a satisfied smile onGale’s face as he leads her off to the side, away from Peeta.

He’s not blind. He can tell Gale’s handsome.Tall, dark, taciturn, and brooding. Mysterious. Traditionally masculine basedon his conversation about archery and backpacking through Peru, fishing andhunting. The classic literary hero. And Katniss seems so at ease around him,that Peeta now knows Gale must be the one Johanna was referring to.

He reminds himself that his feelings are hisproblem to get over, and for the next few months, focuses on being just herfriend. Like always. It’d hurt far more to have her cut him out of her lifecompletely should her relationship with Gale escalate, so Peeta concentrates onbeing the best friend possible, making sure she knows he’ll always be there forher, no matter what. All the while, he braces himself for the blow to hisheart. But it never arrives.

Sometime around New Years, Gale starts datingone of Katniss’ coworkers instead, reawakening his hopes.

************************

TWENTY-FIVE

Peeta’s not sure what wakes him. He lays in thedark trying to place the sounds. There’s movement beside him in the bed andthen a sharp inhale.

“Katniss?” he asks, reaching out to turn on thebedside lamp, grateful that the power’s been restored, before rolling over tocheck on her. Sometimes she has nightmares about a car wreck that nearly killedher entire family when she was a teenager. Her eyes are wide and hazy as shewatches him, her cheeks stained with heat, her entire body rigid. “Are youokay?”

“Fine,” she gasps. “Just couldn’t sleep.”

“You don’t sound fine,” Peeta says and scootscloser to her. She flinches back away from him. His brow furrows in confusion,but as the seconds tick by, the appalled look still on her face, Peeta acceptswhat he feared earlier. That whatever happened between them was not some grandconfession of her love for him after all, but just a one night stand. And nowshe probably regrets it. “Okay. I’ll just go sleep on the couch. Give you somespace.”

“Graham sleeps there,” Katniss says, promptingPeeta to look at the time on his phone. It’s not even midnight yet. Rain stilldrums on the roof, steady and heavy, although he doesn’t hear any thunder.

“They won’t be home for a few more hours. He cansleep on the floor,” Peeta says and moves to stand from the bed.

“Wait!” Katniss says and grabs his arm. Peetastares down at her hand, at the two fingers glistening in the faint light. Hecan feel the sticky moisture coating them. Slowly, he lifts his gaze to her asthe realization of what she was doing dawns on him.

The very thought that she was doing that besidehim, in his bed, coupled with her tight grip on his arm sends desire screamingthrough his body. She huffs before releasing him, but he grips her wrist andbrings her hand towards his face. It’ll probably scare the shit out of her, buthe’s already told her that he’s in love with her, so what’s one more gamble?

He can smell her arousal on her fingers andwatches her eyes turn limpid with desire as he opens his mouth and sets herfingers on his tongue before sucking. The taste confirms his suspicions. He’snever forgetting this taste as long as he lives.

“Were you touching yourself, Katniss?” he asks,the lack of sleep removing his usual filters. She licks her lips and flexes herfingers, her wrist still in his hold.

“Maybe,” she whispers and he waits for furtherexplanation. She seems to come to a decision and scoots closer to him, leanstowards him. “I didn’t want to bother you, but I…I was thinking about you,Peeta. I always think about you.”

His stomach flips over and his cock stirs tolife at her confession. These aren’t things Katniss would share easily or withjust anyone. She guards her heart and her desires like they’re gold in FortKnox most of the time. Too many dates and boyfriends who claimed to love herfiery spirit only to try to douse it once they had her has made her cautious.Peeta wants to destroy every last one of them for nearly destroying one of thethings that draws him to her.

“But there’s more,” she whispers and he smilesslightly at the memory of his birthday two years ago. “I feel the same way.”

It takes him a moment to catch up, but when hedoes, his heart soars. “You’re helplessly in love with me?”

“I am,” she says with a slow nod. “I have beenfor a long time. I’m not sure how long, but I know that I don’t want whathappened earlier tonight to be the last time we do those things together.”

Peeta shifts beneath the covers to move in onher and Katniss reaches out to palm him through his shorts, making himimpossibly hard. “I thought we were taking things slow.”

“Slow? We’ve both wanted this for years, Peeta.Don’t you think that’s slow enough?” she asks, one eyebrow climbing up herforehead as her lips curl into a smile.

“Fair enough,” he says, relieved when she twiststheir hands so she’s gripping his wrist and pulls his hand straight to hercenter. She moans at the first touch of his fingers, the sound needy enoughthat he barely registers that her panties are nowhere on her body. “Fuck you’realready so wet. Next time you can’t sleep…wake me up and I’ll gladly help.”

“Oh, okay. I will,” she whispers. A thoughtoccurs to him and he needs to know, another piece that would mean she didn’tmake this choice on a whim.

“When I asked you earlier today if I was losingmy touch–”

“Oh my god,” she moans, gripping his arms as hecurls his fingers inside her. His cock jumps eagerly when he feels just howaroused she already is.

“What did you do after we hung up last night?”

“This. Oh, Peeta,” she admits breathlessly.

He hasn’t even made a wish on birthday candlesyet today, and here his wishes are all coming true. He strokes her folds andlatches his mouth around one nipple after she tears her shirt from her body.Her hands claw at his shirt too, but he waits until she’s writhing and pleadingwith him, telling him that she needs him, before he stops kissing and touchingher long enough to remove his clothes. His hands fumble around in hisnightstand before he finds a condom. He squints at the expiration date, hisvision clouded as Katniss’ teeth tug on his earlobe and her body writhesbeneath him.

“Hurry. Now,” she urges when he’s able to makeout that it’s still good, if only just. Once he has it on, their hands grip andtug, bodies shift until he’s sliding inside of her.

“Finally,” she sighs when he’s buried all theway, his pulse thrumming madly and his arms shaking in the effort to keep frompounding into her mindlessly.

“You love me,” he whispers as he pulls out tilljust his head is still inside her.

“I do, Peeta,” she gasps as he plunges back in.

“Why’d we wait so long?” he groans as he gripsthe sheets beside her ribs and moves slowly, so he doesn’t hurt her.

“I don’t know anymore,” she says threading herfingers through his hair and bringing his mouth to hers. They kiss as he moves,building her up to the point she can’t take it anymore.

He can’t decide if he’d rather kiss her orwatch, and ends the kiss to rest his forehead on hers and do the latter, awedby the open desire and need in her gray eyes. “God Katniss, I wish I’d beenbraver sooner. Had spoken up a year ago when I wanted to.”

“Shut up and make up for it now,” she orders.She writhes beneath him, tangling the sheets around their legs, moaning witheach thrust until she bends upwards and grips the slats of his headboard withone hand.

“Please. Peeta, please,” she whines. “Don’t makeme wait any longer.”

He moves faster, encouraged by the singing wailsof delight that fly from her throat and dance through his senses along with theecstasy of being inside her. She demands everything from him and he gives it,gripping the headboard with one hand next to hers, to give himself betterleverage, shouting when her nails rake over his shoulder and back, trailing firethrough his blood with her eager moans and desperate thrusts meeting his. Thebed squeaks and the headboard keeps time against the wall. Their slick skinslides and sticks and burns at every touch. It’s never been this loud, intense,or uninhibited with anyone before and he shoves aside regrets that he didn’tspeak up sooner to live fully in this moment, to focus on her first tremors onhis cock.

“Like that. Ung! Just like that, Peeta!” sheexclaims, her eyes locked on his, and then her words dissolve into incoherentsounds of elation as he twists his hips until her walls cease their clenching.His arms shake and she practically purrs as she moves her hips against his,whispers to him to keep going, to come for her.

The headboard once more thumps against the wallin time with his desperate grunts. He tries not to pound her like an animal,but her claws in his skin and the things she whispers to him drive him out ofhis mind with need. He’s hanging off the edge until she demands that he ‘letgo’ and he thrusts twice more, releasing a gut wrenching shout as euphoriaburns through him. Peeta falls still as he fills the condom, his orgasm lastinglonger than any he can remember. He practically blacks out from the intense pleasureand has to roll to the side to keep from crushing her when he collapses.

He lays there with his eyes closed and theirlegs entangled, catching his breath and trailing his fingers through the sheenof sweat on her skin, listening to her ragged breathing as they slowly driftback down.

“Happy Birthday, Peeta. Told you that you couldhave both,” she whispers as she rolls over to cuddle into his side. He holdsher there and smiles, opening one eye and checking the clock on his phone,surprised when he sees that the time is 11:58. So it is still his birthday.Setting the phone down, he gathers her in his embrace and kisses her, slow andsavoring each touch, each soft smacking sound of their mouths. The thoughtdrifts through his mind that his brother was wrong. The best thing to everhappen to him occurred on his twenty-fifth birthday, and he’s certain that itcan only get better from here.

“I never gave you your present,” she pouts atone point, making Peeta laugh.

“You mean there’s more?”

**********************

Although Katniss staying the night is nothingnew, they’re careful about their appearance the next morning as they wanderinto the kitchen for breakfast, not wanting to give his brothers anything toantagonize them over. Peeta’s surprised to see both of his brothers awake,leaning against the kitchen counter and drinking coffee, a plate of muffinsfresh from the oven sitting on the island. Both of them appear cheerful and notthe least bit hungover.

“Morning,” he says as Katniss slides into one ofthe stools at the island and he starts the water for tea.

“Good morning indeed,” Ryen says, making thehair on the back of Peeta’s neck stand on edge. He turns to say something, buthis brother cuts him off. “We didn’t get a chance to give you your cake lastnight. But last minute changes needed to be made to the message, so I guess itturned out better this way.”

Katniss lifts the lid off the plastic cakecaddy, her face almost instantly turning a splotchy red before she drops thelid back in place and stares up at Peeta with wide eyes.

He’s by her side in two steps as his brothersboth double over in laughter. At first, Katniss tries to stop him from looking,and he’s now a little scared of what he’ll find beneath the lid, but then shesighs and shrugs, flipping the lid off for him herself and smiling wryly.

“Guess they got home earlier than we thought,”she says and Peeta looks down at the messy frosting job that clearly indicateshis brothers scraped off the original icing and replaced it with the four wordsin bright blue.

Congrats on the Sex!

He opens his mouth to yell at his brothers forbeing insensitive assholes, but Katniss laughs and then yanks his head down tohers, stopping his words and his annoyance at his brothers with her lips onhis. He loses himself quickly in the kiss and only vaguely hears his brothers’reaction.

“So does this mean you’ll have an open bedroomsoon?”

“Oh fuck no. Don’t leave me with him, Peeta,”Ryen whines.

Peeta lifts his head and pushes the cake towardshis brother. “Have some cake, Ryen. It’ll make you feel better.” Then hedeposits the plate of fresh muffins in Katniss’ hands, scoops her out of herchair, and carries her and the muffins back to bed…so they can have both.