#Lupin | musings | | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pregnant-piggy · 1 year

Text

April

The Artist’s Muse series (one part left!!)

Remus Lupin x reader

word count: 4.1k

summary: James and Sirius try to convince you Remus is in love with you and you don’t believe them. but buried feelings are bound to explode one day and when they do...

warnings: some nice making out ;)

check out the playlist here

A shy sun was falling through the store-front window of Muses on your shoulders, warming up your body through your cardigan. You looked at the mess around you, a pair of scissors and left-over scraps of paper, a string of fairy lights, yesterday’s newspaper of the 29th open on the advertisement for Muses’ one-year anniversary tomorrow, May 1st , the remnants of Remus’ breakfast, the cardigan that you’d thrown aside. You figured you’d clean later and looked up.

“You’re wrong, Rem.”

Remus turned his head, looking down at you, and quirked an eyebrow. “Wrong?”

“Yes.” You got up from the ground, where you had been cutting flyers. “It would look better above the check-out.”

Remus let go of the banner that was still waiting on Sirius’ offer to be painted and crossed his arms over his chest. You tried very hard not to stare at his biceps in the t-shirt he was wearing. You were sure you were doing a very bad job.

“Would it now?” Remus asked and the smirk he gave you told you that you had in fact been doing a terrible job trying to hide your gaze. “And why, if you think so, didn’t you tell me before I climbed on top of this wobbly chair?”

You shrugged. “And miss out on this view? I don’t think so.”

Remus jumped down and stood in front of you, a little too close for friendly innocence. You looked up at him through your eyelashes, biting back a smile when his eyes flickered down to your lips.

“Fine,” he said, his voice so low you could feel it in your chest. “But we’re switching positions.”

He pushed the banner into your hands, leaving sparks wherever he touched your skin. You took a deep breath and turned around, heading straight for the check-out counter so Remus wouldn’t see how flushed you were.

This was how it had been going for a month now, shameless flirting, lingering stares, always being a little too close together. You were treading dangerous waters, crossing boundaries you had set for yourself, but it was so fun. You loved seeing the blush on Remus’ cheeks, loved the elevated feeling in your stomach when he let his hands linger longer than necessary, loved how despite the insecurities and fears it brought along, it felt safe because it was Remus.

That didn’t mean that it was all sunshine and blue skies, however. Because while you didn’t know where Remus was standing, you were falling hard. With each smirk, each gaze, each nickname and joke, you were falling more and more in love with him and there was no way you could stop it.

You were unsure what Remus thought of you; if he considered you as a friend and just went along for the jokes or if there really was something more to his smirk and glances. The constant doubt was tiring and on top of the already long and exhausting days you were having while preparing for the one-year party at Muses, you ended most of your days in a deep sleep as soon as your head hit the pillow.

After positioning the banner above the counter, you looked over your shoulder at Remus, who was too late to pretend he hadn’t been staring. You ignored the burst of butterflies in your belly and tilted your head to the side.

“And?”

Remus leaned back on his elbows, watching you. “You were right.”

“I told you it would look better here.”

“Sure, that too.”

You rolled your eyes at him and lowered the banner, dropping it on the floor next to the check-out. Then you turned around and pursed your lips as you looked down on the ground. Climbing on top of the counter had been fine, but you weren’t so happy to jump off it. You’d probably twist an ankle and with the party so close you didn’t want to risk it.

It turned out you didn’t need to. Within a few seconds, Remus was standing in front of you, hands wrapping around your hips. You barely had the time to hold yourself onto his shoulders before he lifted you off the counter and you were up in the air.

You tried to fight it but you couldn’t and a loud giggle slipped from your lips as Remus placed you back on the floor. Your hands slid from his shoulders to his arms and heat flushed your cheeks as you touched the arms you had been staring at all morning.

“Thanks,” you mumbled, staring at Remus’ chest before looking up into his eyes.

He gave your hips a soft squeeze. “No problem, love.”

You were sure you were melting under his sweet smile so you quickly pulled away from him and picked up the banner. “I uhh—I’ll bring this to Sirius. It’ll be… It’ll be done tomorrow morning.” You glanced over your shoulder on your way out of the store and caught Remus watching you with an expression that you couldn’t place.

“Alright,” he said, his tone strangely flat.

“Should I bring anything? Coffee? Tea?” You raised your eyebrows. “Orange juice?”

A smile broke on Remus’ face and internally you did a little dance. He shook his head. “Have you watched Notting Hill again?”

“Of course,” you said, opening the door and stepping through. Then you peeked back in and smirked. “There’s just something so sexy about a man owning a bookstore.”

- – - – -

After Sirius had put away the banner with the promise he’d paint it as soon as he got home, he started on your coffees and asked you, “How’s it coming along?”

You groaned and dropped your face in your hands on the counter. “There is so much we have to do. No way we’ll finish in time.”

“Sure you will,” Sirius said, laughing at you over his shoulder. “If you stop flirting all the time.”

“We’re not flirting all the time,” you huffed, lifting your head.

Sirius turned around with the first coffee. He placed it in front of you but as you went to grab it he held it back. “Darling, when I look through the window there is always one of three things happening. One, you are staring at Remus—”

“I am not!”

“—Two, Remus is staring at you.”

“Sirius!”

“Or, three, you’re both staring at each other and we can feel the sexual tension all the way back in the kitchen.” Sirius looked at you intently and then pushed the coffee over. “And I’m not saying that to make fun of you. Or… maybe a little, but what I mean is that it’s obvious you like each other.” He got started on the other coffee.

You shook your head. “I appreciate you saying that but I’m sure Remus doesn’t feel the same way. It’s just fun.”

“Okay.” Sirius dropped the coffee beans he was filling the machine with back into the jar and turned around. “Listen up now. We didn’t want to get involved because it’s your life and your choices and whatever, and as much fun as it has been watching you and Remus make fools of yourselves these past months, it stops now. Remus is in love with you, darling, and it’s about time you finally realise that.”

You blinked at Sirius, opened your mouth to react, but then closed it again. You took a deep breath and said, “What?”

“Remus. Loves. You.”

“No, he doesn’t,” you quickly said. He couldn’t, could he? Could Remus, the person you’d been falling for hard and fast, your best friend, could he love you back? “No. You’re joking.”

Sirius sighed dramatically and pointed at the door that led to the kitchen. “In. Now.”

Quickly you ran into the kitchen, where you nearly collided with James. He looked up from the cookies he was decorating—you recognised Muses’ storefront on them—and frowned. “What’s going on?”

Sirius, who’d followed after you, gestured at James. “James will explain that Remus loves you and I will not let you out until you accept it.”

“But—”

Sirius lifted a hand and silenced you. “I know you have a lot to do, so you better hurry up.”

He left and you stood there in the kitchen, mouth open and head a chaos. You spun around to James. “What the hell is going on?”

He watched you with a funny smile and gestured for the stool next to him. “You might want to sit down for this.”

- – - – -

The walk back to Muses wasn’t nearly as long as you needed to sort everything out in your head. There was no way. Just no way.

Of course you had let the bud that was planted inside of you on New Year’s Eve grow out into a full flower of hope, but that did not mean you had actually expected it to happen. It was more of a fantasy you’d kept alive, nothing more than a what if.

But now Sirius and James had thrown the truth into your face, or at least tried to. You still weren’t sure if you believed it. Not because you thought they were messing with you, but because your head couldn’t wrap around the thought of Remus loving you.

James had tried to explain it but you’d sat through his monologue in shock, only getting half of what he told. Your mind was full of doubt. If Remus remembered the kiss on New Year’s Eve, why hadn’t he spoken to you about it? And if he had been hurt by you going on a date on Valentine’s, why had he seemed so happy for you? If he was in love with you, really loved you, why hadn’t he shown it? Why did he pull away from you, looked away, kept you at a distance?

Before you had any answers, you’d reached the door of Muses again and you took a deep breath before plastering a smile on your face. As long as you didn’t have clarity, you couldn’t show anything was off. First there was the anniversary party, and then you’d deal with the mess in your head.

You pushed the door open and were met with the familiar scent of books, the smell of home. In the past year, Muses had grown from the place you worked to a home that you loved even more than your own apartment. Stepping inside was like having a blanket thrown over your shoulders on a cold day, a hug from a loved one when you were feeling down. You adored every single corner and shelf, the books with their colourful spines, the dust collecting on the top of the bookcases because you couldn’t reach it but were too proud to ask Remus to do it, the plants on the windowsill and the check-out and the shelves and the floor. There wasn’t a thing that you didn’t love, but maybe what you loved the most was that it was your and Remus’ all alone. You had built this together. You had gone on this wicked adventure and now it was a year later and it was better than you’d ever imagined.

And there he was. Your best friend. Your companion. The person you were meant to have in your life forever.

He turned around upon hearing you enter, somewhat of a worried expression on his face, but it cleared quickly. “What took you so long?”

You swallowed, felt the heat creep up but bit it back and flashed a smile. “You know how Sirius is. He wouldn’t stop talking about his ideas for the banner. But I got a free coffee out of it, so…” You shrugged and walked over to Remus to hand him his drink. His fingers brushed yours.

“If it’s that easy, you should always be the one to get coffee,” he joked, wrapping his hand around the paper cup to feel how hot it was. Considering it had been well over fifteen minutes since Sirius had made it, you figured it was almost iced coffee now.

“It’s a gift,” you said, tearing your gaze from Remus’ hands. “You couldn’t do it.”

Remus took a drink. “Hmm,” he hummed before swallowing. “I wouldn’t be so sure about that.”

“No? So if you walked over there right now and asked for a free coffee, you’d get one?”

He looked from the coffee in his hand to Hot Stuff across the street and then to you. He grinned. “Why would I do that if I already have someone who can do that for me?”

“You’re just scared,” you huffed. “You know you can’t do it. You don’t have the gift.”

Remus’ pupils grew bigger as he looked at you. “I don’t need to. I have you.”

You took a big sip to hide your fluster.

- – - – -

By the time you closed the door of Muses it was dark outside. Everything was as good as done for tomorrow. You had reorganised the space so more people could fit inside, set the table for the caterers—James and Sirius—and box with the last-minute short stories that Remus had written stood in the corner, waiting to be shared with your guests. Tomorrow morning you only had to set everything outside and you’d be ready for the party.

You watched Remus as he locked the door, appreciating the golden shine of his curls in the streetlight. As if everything wasn’t stressful enough, you hadn’t been able to shake Sirius’ and James’ words. Yes, being around Remus did not go without a smile or a stare or a joke, but could he really be in love with you? He didn’t seem as plagued by the butterflies as you did.

“Ready?” Remus asked, holding out his hand to you.

You took his hand and as you did said butterflies began to flutter lively. Internally you sighed; whether Remus was in love with you or not, it was impossible that he had not noticed how you felt about him. And if he, according to James, was in love with you too, why had he never mentioned anything?

It wasn’t hard to draw the conclusion. James and Sirius were wrong; Remus didn’t love you. The flirting was all just fun to him and he had never said anything about your obvious crush because it was too awkward.

Even though you knew, had always known, that falling in love with your best friend was the worst thing you could do, the realisation hit your stomach like someone kicking you.

“Are you alright, love?”

You looked up at Remus, felt his hand still in yours. “I’m fine.”

His eyes scrunched together so slightly that you wouldn’t have seen it if you hadn’t been so close to him and you knew he didn’t believe you. Of course he didn’t—he was the one and only person in your life who could always tell when you were lying.

“Because you’ve been kind of off all day,” he went on, giving your hand a little squeeze. “What’s going on in your brilliant mind?”

You gave a flustered huff. “Nothing much. Just… thinking about tomorrow.”

If you hadn’t known better, you would have said the expression that crossed Remus’ features was one of disappointment, like he had expected a different answer. “Okay,” he said slowly, examining your face a little longer before smiling at you. “Let’s get you home then.”

Remus walked you home and while you appreciated the company, you felt your heart break a little more each time he looked at you, each time he called you “love”, each time his hand moved in yours but never let go. Yet you also knew that there was no one else whose company you could have endured at this moment. Even when he was the cause of your heartbreak, Remus was still your best friend and he knew exactly what to do to cheer you up and make you laugh.

When you reached your front door, you felt strangely light and delicate, like you were a ball of glass dangling from a thin thread, not yet broken but close to falling and shattering on the ground. You didn’t want Remus to go yet, afraid that you would fall apart as soon as you were alone, so when you fished your key from your bag, you looked up and said, “Come up with me. I’ve finished that book you lent me.”

If there was any hesitation in his mind, he was good at hiding it, because there was only a smile on his face as he watched you unlock the door and followed you inside.

By the time you’d reached the third floor of your building, you had convinced yourself that inviting him up was the worst decision you had ever made, but it was too late to go back now. You stepped inside your apartment, said something about the book being in your bedroom, and went there without looking at Remus.

But your apartment wasn’t so big that going to another room meant you couldn’t communicate with each other anymore.

“What did you think of it?” Remus asked. “The book?”

In your bedroom, you stood with the paperback in your hands, staring at the cover, feeling all sorts of emotions swirling inside of you. You were sure you were going to be sick.

“It’s—I thought it was alright. Bit strange. Not a big fan of the ending.”

Remus’ deep laugh echoed through your apartment and you tightened your grip on the book. You couldn’t do this. He needed to leave so you could freak out on your own.

“I thought you’d say that,” Remus’ voice went on, unbothered. “I never expected you to love it, but I thought maybe you would appreciate the backward character development. I know you love villains.”

The chuckle that fell from your lips was so dry that it hurt your throat. He knew what you loved. In books, for breakfast, when listening to music. He knew what season you loved the most, what film, which jumper, which flower. He knew everything, but did he also know who you loved?

“Love?” His voice was getting closer and you realised you hadn’t answered. “Is everything okay?” Remus appeared in the doorway with a worried look on his face.

You looked from the book in your hands at him and back at the book. You held it out.

“Here. You are right. I liked that part.”

He took the book and you quickly turned away, pretending to be busy with something on your dresser. Your hands shook as you straightened the stack of magazines on top.

“y/n…”

“I said I’m fine.”

“Except you’re obviously not. What’s wrong?”

You spun around and were met with Remus’ golden eyes suddenly so close you could count the darker specks in them. He reached for you and cupped your jaw with his hand, thumb caressing your skin softly.

“Tell me what’s wrong. Please.”

You thought you saw real concern in his eyes, but you weren’t sure you could trust your own brain anymore. It’s what’d gotten you into this mess in the first place. You wanted to turn off you thinking for a moment, tune down the static that never silenced.

But by shutting off you logic, your body came alive. Fire spread from Remus’ hand all over your skin, gathering in your lower stomach. There was that pull, the urge to be closer, the tether between your bodies pulling you together. The air around you grew electric and even if you had wanted to, there was no more hiding it for you.

You wanted to give in, to throw all caution into the wind, and see where it’d get you. You wanted to give your body what it had been craving for all this time. You were tired, so tired, from trying to hold everything back. With every word, every gaze and touch it was harder and harder to keep your walls up, when the life was bursting behind them.

So what was the point? You were bound to break anyway.

Remus’ hand was still on your jaw, his thumb stilling when you leaned into his touch. He sucked in his breath and stared at you with wide eyes.

Maybe his expression should have rung the alarm bells in your mind, but there was only a soft sizzling in your ears as you stared at each other. It was everything of New Year’s Eve amplified threefold.

It could have been a minute. It could have been an hour. You could have been staring into Remus’ eyes all night, you weren’t sure. All you knew was that your body unravelled when he breathed out and closed the space between you.

Last time you’d kissed Remus it had been noisy. There had been loud cheering in your mind, a thousand thoughts and feelings bouncing off the walls. You hadn’t really known what you were doing until you’d pulled away.

But now everything was silent and you only thought one thing; Remus.

It was him. Always would be. Even if everything between you two fell apart, even if he never wanted to see you again, it would be him. He was your person. Now and forever.

Remus’ lips were soft but determined, moving against yours in a way you felt in the furthest vein of your body. He tasted like coffee and vanilla and every memory you shared together. His hand on your cheek had slipped to bury his fingers in your hair and his other hand was in the small of your back, pushing you flush against him.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer even if it wasn’t possible anymore. You didn’t think, your body moved instinctively, like it had always been made for this.

When you pulled apart, Remus took a small step back, hands never leaving your body. He stared at you in shock, eyes wide, cheeks flushed, lips parted. He was breathing heavily, chest rising and falling. You were sure that your expression was similar.

For a long second you stared at each other, but your body ached for more and you were in no state to deny it.

“Remus—” you started and he was kissing you again.

His hands travelled to the back of your thighs and he lifted you up on the dresser. “Tell me,” he said hoarsely against your lips. “If you want me to stop, tell me.” He caught your lips in another kiss, hands all over your body. “Because I don’t think I can stop myself.”

You clasped your hands in his shirt and shook your head. “Don’t stop.”

His lips moved, wandering down your jaw, your throat, to the crook between your neck and shoulder. His teeth brushed your skin and you couldn’t help the needy shiver that ran down your spine.

“One word,” he breathed against your skin. “One word and I’ll stop.”

You pulled on his curls while his mouth worked wonders and closed your eyes. You didn’t even realise you’d given no answer, until Remus pulled back.

“Love?”

You opened your eyes. His pupils were wide. You nodded.

“Don’t stop. Please, Rem.”

He groaned so deeply you felt it in your chest. “That name,” he muttered, kissing you so hard you had to hold onto him to not lose your balance.

His hands gathered the fabric of your shirt and he pulled it over your head. His eyes darkened as he looked at you, shaking his head as if in disbelief. “You have no idea,” he said, following each word with a kiss, “how long I’ve wanted to do this.”

You threw your head back, giving him space as he travelled lower. “I know,” you sighed. “I haven’t stop wanting you since New Year’s.”

“No,” he thrummed against your skin. He pulled your head back by your chin and brushed his lips over yours before deepening. “Longer.”

His shirt came off and you took your time exploring his chest, remembering every line and curve until you were sure you could sculpt it from memory. He was gorgeous, fitting to your hands like he was made for you. The invisible string holding you together had wrapped around your bodies, tying you to one another, never to let go.

You let yourself drift away in the heat, tearing the defences down one layer at the time until there was nothing separating the two of you anymore. He was all over you like a starved man and his words rung in your head as you built and came apart together in the dark of the night, getting familiar with all the parts you had never known before, realising that even after all these years there was so much you could learn about him, so much you were dying to get to know.

No. Longer.

- - - - - - - - -

series taglist: @fluffybunnyu @kissmeunicornbaobei @ell0ra-br3kk3r @diorgirl444 @fanfangying1304 @fanboyluvr @ishanispoems

hp taglist: @kingalrdy @missswriter @awritingtree @ananad1 @secretsthathauntus @izzyyy-1@nyotamalfoy @xxinvisiblexx @idli-dosa @lacunaanonymoused @kitkatkl @d22malfoys

marauders taglist: @tomshollandz @fific7 @cheoco @natashxromanovf @springflwer07@marauderssimpcuzwhytfnot

MASTERLIST

#the artist's muse #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin imagine #remus lupin #marauders imagine #marauders x reader #marauders #harry potter x reader #harry potter imagine #harry potter #remus x reader #remus imagine #moony

248 notes · View notes