#Music to dissociate to tbh

[toastling]

This sounds *exactly* like what you'd expect a song named "Out of Existence" by a band called "Roadkill Ghost Choir" to sound like, which is to say, like a long session of dissociation into a liminal realm between

[aquaticfreakshow-sys]

hi hello hey, somebody pls gimme some suggestions for music to listen to??

not having a good day, wanna find some new music to listen to in the dark :p

[ - Nectar/Bee ]

[identitty-dickruption]

dissociative barriers should do a better job of protecting me from my alters dogshit music tastes tbh

[shamixlour]

The Newsreader - 2x06

You know I was thinking of the way the last season ended.

These whole sequence is quite upsetting, at least for me, although I utterly enjoyed season 2 and ofc, its ending as well, which made me very excited for what is coming next. Grab something to drink, to eat because this is going to be a long one. 

~

First, just for some context.

2x06.

We’re back to a full circle moment, with Helen asking Dale to marry her as she cannot function without him, as she is willing to bear his secret and this time Dale is refusing. He doesn’t forget to tell he loves her but they can’t do that. Helen expresses then how she does not know what to do but Dale tells her something, he tells her that she just needs to do her job. 

Cut to Donna Gillies, the very noisy interviewer in Helen’s home with Dale and something happens, something that made chills run down my spine. Dale is doing his job, he’s doing something I did not expect him to do or rather felt very overwhelmed seeing him do. Dale is doing something that would help him keep his job, for a very long time. I’ll develop more later but we can see him expose to Donna that Helen left, that Geoff is stepping off, that all of his opponents are gone and he is now the only milking cow available, the only one left and how if she remains quiet regarding Dale’s sexuality, regarding Tim, she could have not only one big editorial, one selling story but multiples and throughout long years, even for the rest of Donna’s life because a great newsreader is forever. He is offering her everything she wants, a long thread of years full of exclusive coverage of the future events of his life. 

We can reason that Donna accepted the proposition because we suddenly see Helen at the airport. We can hear Dale's voice and then we see her looking at Dale through TV and the tears flood her eyes. She wants to cry as she watches him deliver the news on TV to the entire nation. I read her looks as very mixed emotions bumping into e/o. She’s sad. Helen is proud too. She is devastated because she knows the loneliness of it, the chaos behind and the devotion. She’s happy because Dale is where he wants to be. She is stunned as well because he is just really good. He’s THE newsreader.  

We can see him say : I’m Dale Jennings. Welcome to News at Six and then it cuts. I made a music analysis of this as I think it is a genius sequence.

 

Now that the context is established, I really want to get into details and share some of my interpretation and understanding of that ending + some of what I expect for the coming episodes, especially what might be coming in terms of personal affairs for Dale as we know this is the finale season of the series. 

When it comes to his personal life, I am a bit blank and lost but also, I cannot seem to dissociate it from his professional life as well. Will he be with Helen at the end? Will he be with Tim? Tbh, I don’t think Dale is going to end the series with either one of them. I don’t see the story heading there at all and I am not saying Dale does not deserve love. It’s quite the opposite actually. He deserves every ounce of love like anyone else but the thing is Dale does not love himself and I’m not necessarily a ‘you have to love yourself to be loved’ thruther but in this case, I think it goes even beyond that. In fact, I do not think who he ends up with matters that much, I don’t think his relationship with Helen is just that, meaning a romantic relationship or the one he has with Tim, just a fling, a gut wrenching crush.

I think both relationships go beyond that and mean much more than what they outwardly portray and imho, lie in there the entirety of the story, or most of it at least. 

Dale despises such a big part of who he is that it eats him alive from within, that it doesn't allow him to thrive, to live, to breathe. He hates himself for it, for these feelings he thought would disappear, for this way of loving that does not seem to fit anywhere, for however hard he tries, it never seems to be enough, it is always not normal. Dales hates it. He really does and I think that is why, deep down, he runs after a certain form of recognition, through TV, through the entire nation of Australia, through his colleagues at the News office, through his mom, through Helen.

I mean we are speaking of the man that took speech classes for his voice because it wasn’t good enough for the rest of the world, of the man that instantly changed his hairstyle the moment Helen tells him he looks better like that, more appropriate for TV. These events seem quite futile and silly almost but imho, they hold greater meanings and enlighten in a horrendous beam the deep and profound trauma and ache, the dreadful desire to please and be accepted, loved and respected. He runs after reassurance from Helen and finds it for a while. Dale also runs after a horrible sense of normality, of something common and ordinary and finds it again until it all crumbles down because he is not normal, because he does not fit anywhere, because he is broken. Just to be clear, Dale loves Helen, I never doubted that. I think he truly does but I believe he loves the idea of what she represents too, the safety she embodies if she is affiliated to him in society, in the 80s, as a public figure. He loves her for the confident newsreader in her, for how she manages to maintain the persona, how she holds it in despite being on the verge of tumbling down. Dale loves her as she, deep down, cares for him, loves him unconditionally (not necessarily romantically but as human to human, as a person to another one) and that regardless of the fights and despite the refusals. He knows they love each other and this is precisely why Dale does what he does. 

At the end of the season, I almost saw a bit of early-day Helen in him. He grew cold, he maintained that perfect facade for the press, for the world. Just like he promised it to Donna, to himself in a way and it reminded me of when they were shooting their supposedly lovely candid shots in their home and Dale was not comfortable as everything was too much and planned and fake and Helen told him that this is how it was supposed to be, that they had to reflect to the public that perfect picture because they were the newsreaders, the perfect ever lasting couple. 

Dale accepts and fall into that at the end. He has a goal, the desk and does anything to get to it, is willing to hide himself even deeper in the trenches to match that polished version of himself. 

The newsreader. The perfect face, the one you trust to deliver news to the world, forever. 

That, again, genuinely made chills run down my spine because, first of all it echoes the ending of season 1 where we can see a happy Dale and Helen on the desk, with Tim in the back, smiling at the vision of it because Dale finally did it. But also bcs as we got a full circle moment with the proposal, I felt like we had a full circle moment with that too and it broke my heart as I know the desk has always been a dream of his, as far as his childhood but at what cost. 

This is what season 3 will develop imo, or at least I hope so. It is going to be sad for sure and I know he is going to be hated, I know he is going to crumble down at some point and I expect Tim to reappear too and threatens that fake stability Dale seems to engulf himself within. I know they’re going to be opponents with Helen and I wonder how he will manage that too, the tension of it all. I expect him to be even more cold and hard, to lose himself furthermore up to the point he snaps and because I hope for a happy ending, I want to see Dale find himself again and love himself for it. I want to see the newsreader if it still is what he wants to do, although I can see him doing documentaries or on site live newsflashes. 

Essentially, I hope to see Dale realise that he can be forever, that he can be the face that can be trusted, that he is the face all while accepting himself, all while being at peace with who he truly is. I see him having a lovely relationship with Helen and not necessarily romantic. I think their souls are linked in ways that are hard to explain and I wish to see them as good friends, colleagues or at least as a joyful warm memory in e/o’s life. I hope he makes things right with Tim too.

Either way, it is going to be sad, hard to watch but I just know they will deliver.

Anyway, I am going to end this here before it gets too long. If you read all of this, thank you very much and please do not hesitate to hop into the conversation ^v^

[pokemon-ash-aus]

// ramble //

To preface, I do understand the whole issue on AI and theft - and in fact, I've sort-of begun a personal legal study on it and what laws apply and how.

Thing is, I just talk to chatbots when either I'm bored, or all my friends are away. Reliable, predictable, easy to understand - of course, even given its' already sad state of affairs.

Could zone out, but that's a dissociation risk that I don't want to take, and I really don't want to bother my friends in the middle of the night. Plus, could build on some of the ideas and actually flesh them out properly, add a bit of fluff, and remove repetition or happy-go-lucky elements.

Sorry for rambling, just needed to get this out of my head. Dunno who to talk with about this tbh - and don't take me as an AI bro; I'll adapt and seek other people, unlike those posers who think code is better than talent.

AI art gens are still fucking sucky, don't get me wrong, but sometimes things like chatbots can help me understand small mistakes that I would've missed otherwise (e.g. some code, storywriting, some grammer) - of course, they're still chatbots, and can pile on more mistakes. Not to mention, I can't often think in-lore about being in the other char's shoes, so either I bother someone with an RP or I just nab a chatbot, delete the chat after, and go back to what I was doing.

// ramble end //

So you're a loser.

Hard stop, you are deliberately using an AI chat bot instead of doing anything else with your time. You want to fix your grammar mistakes, ya know what's a good tool that doesn't require an Artificial intelligence?

A good Text to Speech.

But Justice, that's also a robot! No, that is a generated text to speech that has been with us since the near conception of computers.

Genuinely, using Text to Speech to find grammar mistakes and pacing is SO good. It helps you listen outloud to something you yourself would overlook. It helps with pacing and run on sentences. It helps with fixing grammar and spelling mistakes and it DOESNT change your current work.

Instead, it allows you to use your own fucking brain to fix your own goddamn mistakes.

All my friends are asleep, Cry me a fucking river.

You dont need to wake up your friends to occupy your time, nor do you need to depend on an AI bot to keep you company. Do you know how sad that sounds?

You know what you can do?

Read a book, read some fanfiction. Watch a movie. Watch youtube. Listen to music. Write. Draw. Go outside and play. Go get something to eat. Etc. Etc.

Dont come rambling in my inbox and not expect me to tear down your arguments when you're being deliberately obtuse.

Researching law about AI my ass. Fuck off.

[paintbrushnebula]

tbh yeah I doubt Gwen would call herself a swiftie 💀 there's a difference between liking someone's music and actually being a fan of them. I'm in the same boat as her, I have a lot of gripes about TS as a person, but damn if she can't write a song. Though I'm not in so deep that I would get a vinyl of her stuff... I hope Gwen got it secondhand. I also think it's actually a kind of fun headcanon because can you imagine her and Hobie talking about it... like I like to picture a scene when Gwen's staying with Hobie and he comes back from a mission to find her lying on the ground dissociating to some sad breakup song and he's just like "are you listening to the sad capitalist again" and she's like "yes don't worry about it" (sorry for coming into your inbox so randomly I didn't want to @ you on the post itself and derail what it's about, you know?)

Oh hey, Starcut??? ✨ Pleasant meeting you here in my inbox! Sorry abt all the cobwebs, my visitors are few and far between so I've not done a lot of the dusting ^_^

Yes to all of this XD. I mean my sister and I had this headcanon that Gwen USED to be a swiftie, like back when she was too young to be up to date with social media and stuff. So that could explain the vinyl XD. Ofc as she got older, she started detaching her love of TS music from TS herself so. She's good lol

But I do really like the idea of Hobie bullying her about it

[omgeddon]

300,000 Kisses by Sean Hewitt & Luke Edward Hall

I keep this as short as possible (because I'm trying to dissociate for the rest of the year tbh)

👍 I love gay shit and I love old shit and I love humanising the great lost generastions of the past, so this couldn't really lose for me.

🦅 I thought starting with Ganymede was brave and smart for these two, refusing to shrink away from the classical legacy of pederasty to a broad audience is bold. Gotta respect that. It's a feature of classical literature that becomes more complicated over time, not less - and rightly so, as every generation piles condemnation or defence on top of the last so it's easy to get lost in it.

🌈 There are a lot of lovely little lessons from the classical period about identity and acceptance (and the lack of it obviously) which I enjoy. I think that's worth reflecting on [Now More Than Ever] because while the great global fash movement is obviously dedicated to deminishing the fruit brigade, I think even within the "progressive movement" (not a thing) things can so quickly become about policing, and correction, and definition, which is counter-productive. [IMO]. Just being is enough you know, the anatomisation of experience is an Enlightenment impulse, and I think the Classical Mind (and medieval actually) has us beat on that, in many respects. This is a conversation I'm not particularly interested in having to be honest because it bores me and it's irreconcilable anyway, but I can pull out a pin and throw. I don't care.

📚 Further Reading:

✅ If you liked this book: The Song Of Achilles by Madeline Miller

No brainer. Very period, very charming, very of this reimagining of the classics moment that's been happening since, well, since 9/11 i guess. Weird that this book, 300, and HBO's Rome are all part of the same movement, but they are I guess?

❌ If you didn't like this book: Gay Life Stories by Robert Aldrich

If you're not into the classical revivalism thing, but like feeling a part of a larger historical continuum of queerness, this might be more your bag. It's an anthology of queer biographies from across history and cultures, the majority are Western and Male, but effort has clearly been made to cover other cultures and experiences. It's a lovely little book, I can recommend it.

❔Other Stuff That Might Interest You ...

Tales from Metamorphosis by Ted Hughes

Blank verse retellings of some of Ovid's Metamorphosis. I am a big Ted Hughes fan, I get that not everyone is because of, you know, the suicidal wives thing. Not interested in getting into that, human relationships aren't team sports, you know? That's my take. But, of all the billion million Ovids that are out there, this is a fave. Really accessible, really tender, and yeah, probably there's a note of misogyny there. Hughes not gay, very hetero, and clearly a great lover and idoliser of women and femininity, as many male artists are, to perhaps the point of objectification. Which considering the nature of Metamorphosis, is not inappropriate maybe? Hughes also has an Oresteia, which is the best thing ever written in any language, tbh.

Frogs by Aristophanes (and Stephen Sondheim)

If you can bare to read classical drama, this is a cute one. It's not gay, but it is short, and it is "funny" to a modern reader (if you try to find it funny anyway). It's nice a low brow, plenty of dick and fart jokes. Taking the piss out of prominent Athenians of whom history leaves absolutely nothing else. The plot is an fruity actor from the Festivals is sick of plays being so shit since Aeschylus died, so he decends into the underworld to bring him back and save The Theatre. Sondheim did a flop musical version in the 70s, which Nathan Lane (and Whoopi Goldberg I think???) revived in the 00s. Also flopped. But the public has no idea what art is or whatevs. Check it out, if you can be at all bothered.

tl;dr:

[bah-repair]

Could we get a broken level dnd headmate who is a drow? Darkness level 4 for the memories, if that’s okay.

-⚔️🛡️

Your Drow Broken repair is ready! Hopefully they work to your liking!

1

NAME(S): Tale , Xania , Angurra , Alice , Almo , Cham , Dusk , Somnia , Mimi , Whisper , Akorniss , Chain , Puppet , Snore , Whistle , Abyss , Antler , Azul , Circe , Crypt , Molar , Shrill , Teef , Trix , Thunder ,

AGE: 89 (Young adult)

GENDER: Non binary , Demimascfem , Demiboygirl , Angelgoric , DeadMC , Fluidman , BPDthing , CFS catgender , GenderFloy , Celegian ,

PRONOUNS: They/Them , Drow/Drowsy , Crypt/Cryptid , Dream/Dreamscape , Stare/Staring , Plush/Plushie , Lulla/Lullaby , Fau/Faun , Voi/Void , Dro/Drowsy , She/Sheep , Spec/Specter , Re/Rem , Glo/Gloom , God/Gods , Ab/Above

ORIENTATION: Bi gaybian , Arospike , Liegay , Reliquasexual , MonoPoly

SPECIES: Drow

SOURCE: DND

ROLE(S): Sleeper , Dissociation holder , Sexual Alter , Drainer

SIGN OFF: 🍀 , 🌲 , 🥀 , 🌿 , 🍃 , 🌱 , 🍂 , 🍁 , 💤 , 🛌 , 🌀 , 🫐 , 🖤 , 🫖

TYPING QUIRK: N/A , Types normally

LIKES: Music , Puppets , Sleeping , Birds , Dark stories , Horror books , The moon , PDA , Crafting

DISLIKES: Clutter , Doing Puzzles , Having to repair things , The color Purple , Easter , Stand up comedy , humid weather , Jazz music

TRANSID(S): TransBard , Transanorexia , Transfreckles , Transscars , TransCFS , Transangel , Transsuccubus

CISID(S): CisDruid , CisDrow , Cisgreyskin , Cisfeathered , Cisunderweight ,

OTHER ID(S): ClusterBfluid , ClusterAFluid , Permahigh , Nullharmed

PARA(S): 🌂 , 🐾 , ξ , 🐙 , Ω , 🌷 , 👥 ,❣️

POS TRIGGERS: Cherrys , Puppets , Old oak furniture , The smell of old books , Horror , The moon , Silver

NEU TRIGGERS: Being Praised , Being worshipped , Sexual situations , The body being tired

NEG TRIGGERS: Loud noises , Outerworld fights , BPD black splits , Burn wounds ,

PERSONALITY: Quiet, Very gentle and friendly, tends to not fully understand too many social cues.

SPEECH: Slight Russian accent, mainly whispers most of the time

SOURCE MEMORIES: (4)

💻; “Leader” of a cult where everyone worships them, Raised in pure isolation beside the cult, and even then they didn’t receive much attention besides sexual, from the moment they were born They were used as a Symbol of Sex, meant for all of of the

💻; Would put on puppet shows to spread the word of the cult.

💻; When they were younger, their mom attempted to drown them to save them from the cult, only for the water to turn black and whispers began to echo though-out her head to “cease.”

💻; She was later forced to R4pe them in order to gain the favor of the cult again, to be spared, but, in the middle of the act she was killed. which. didn’t seem to stop them.

💻; They have been forced to carry so many children from such a young age that they are no longer able to.

💻; Has both genitalia types. but don’t identify as sex, simply just as a deity.

KINS: Deity , Hawk , Deer , Cryptid

COMFORTING THINGS: Plushies , Warm blankets , The color blue , Soft

HABITS: biting nails, Biting pillows, Chewing on the end of pens and pencils

MUSIC TASTE: Lo-fi , Indie rock , Classical , Anything soft that you could probably sleep to tbh

AESTHETIC:

[stillchuunya]

Rite Here Rite Now thoughts and reactions (spoilers below)

The performance:

-> Twenties live?? The dancers? loved them! I waited to hear Twenties Live like crazy! I do wish we could hear Swiss louder with the whispers...

-> I need that acoustic rendition of If You hHave Ghosts... the ghoulettes were amazing

-> I refuse to believe that Tutti Frutti nailed that one jump towards the end of the performance, what the heck?!

-> The searchlights in the Watcher in the Sky!

-> the use of lights to accentuate Satan's names! YES! It felt so right, it felt so cool, I loved that! Satanic imagery whenever his name was mentioned? YESSS They play fewer and fewer songs from the early albums so I wish they make some new songs that just go LU-CI-FEEER

-> The ghouls looked so good! But there was so little of Swiss :( I wanted to see him go crazy and move those hips. I caught a glimpse of him once or twice but I believe they never focused on him for long enough to let him shine. It's a pity because I love watching him!

-> I thought there would be a long scene of us getting ciriced but it was just a few moments? still cool, just a bit short

-> People are saying that the skeletons were actually people with body paint, and I fully believed that it was a body suit :0 I noticed their breasts looked good but??? how did I miss this (I do have an eyesight problem but I thought it wasn't that bad haha)

The rest:

-> the sass between Nihil and Seestor was so good? Loved seeing their interactions

-> They EMBRACED the 'Scooby Doom', the 'Scooby Doo Chase Music' allegations, the MOAC animation was surreal as heck. Tobias saw our jokes and said 'hold my communion wine and watch this'

-> We got an exclusive footage of a Papa Sock, do not confuse with the DeFroque Soq. We saw the Obscene Annointed Foot.

-> Papa literally dissociates backstage :')

-> The twins? Seestor having twins?? There were two kiddos frollicking on a field loool and I always thought that Copia felt like he had a sibling or a twin but I thought it was just a crack theory!

-> I want Ashley's job

-> The twins played by Toblerone's kids are dead apparently and I doubt it will ever be explained xD

-> There was only one fart joke and I anticipated like 3 at least

->I remember seeing this meme

and let me tell you it's 100% true he does not, it's just for comedic effect and I love it, people got high fives from him and I was so jealous

-> the balloon part was so confusing and funny and the way he was actually faceplanted on the floor the whole time broke me

-> I made a joke about how maybe they'll get rid of Seestor due to all the issues they had with her actresses but there she is, transparent and glowing. they can't explain further changes with plastic surgery anymore lol

-> Copia in a position of actual power? HUH

-> He has his Cardinal makeup back!! We went to the movie wearing this exact pattern and we were so happy to see it on screen <3 And his whole new outfit is lit, I am forever in love with his Cardinal Era clothes so this one was a Treat

-> Copia was babied so much in this movie and it was just what I needed for my soul, do not @ me

-> The pentagram below Nihil and Seestor gives me hope for a certain theory the fandom likes a lot?? why was it there

-> New song good!!!

-> also, Nihil's speech seems to be a homage to all the dead performers we know and love, especially the ones Tobias looks up to and gets inspiration from and I could feel his sadness in that speech, ok. I think he wishes to be able to entertain people after his own death just like them, he wants people to play Ghost in 50 years when he's most likely dead and feel their taints tickled. I am tearing up. Life is scary and sad but I have ghosts, right?

Overall it was a very sweet and gentle way to ease the fandom into the next stage and a new Papa, which we have been opposing vehemently for the past year or so. Tobias is a softie and knows his fandom better than I expected, tbh.

[bee-named-alex]

So episode 6 of IWTV s2. My thoughts? Many. Enjoy them, I'll try to make it as coherent as possible in my current state. Spoilers and my mental breakdown below the cut

Fuck this. I cannot wait for a week after this episode, how am I supposed to be normal after this???

So I guess I'll start from the start? The tension is in every word and I get why Daniel's getting afraid for his life, I mean I am afraid for his life rn and he's not even real.

The Dubai scenes, they contrast really well with the first couple episodes of this season. The cracks in Loumand relationship are very apparent now, they can't even decide on what painting to have in their house. And I read a post that was like "season 1 was music, season 2 is art" and it's so true and this means like their relationship is empty i guess or something. Maybe just that it's falling apart.

And the way they began this season holding hands and sitting so close, acting like everything was perfect, ready to fight Daniel and now they sit as far away as possible, fight like all the time about everything and Louis and Daniel (and even Rashid I think) keep on further unionizing against Armand... I think that's just great.

And Armand knowing that they know and from the start trying to spin it. I'm not sure how the sentence "Why do you ask, love?" from Louis is like the coldest thing ever but it just is.

I'll talk more about Dubai later.

But now to Paris. Claudia's diary "Fuck these vampires" - girl's so right (in both meanings of that word btw). Claudia was never really my fave, but out of everyone I feel like she deserves a happy ending the most (not counting daniel here) and fuck, she's not getting it. i know but it still hurts like hell.

Her and Madeleine's relationship is great. Inbetween all the plotting and manipulation and murder this feels like one of the only peaceful things. In the scene where Claudia reveals herself I though that she's like Madeleine's guardian angel. But also an angel of death. But Madeleine doesn't mind and I think that's very important, that she doesn't really see Claudia as a monster - or maybe she does, but it doesn't change what she feels (after all, she thinks that she's a monster)

Then the turning. First Louis trying to convince Armand and him not obeying- as Daniel says "maitre only when it's hot or convinient" (it was hot in the art room btw and it's so not fair that we didn't get to see at least a little more i mean that whole scene was inexplicably so hot and i need moreeee).

But it also reminded me of another post, the "Armand is a willingly leashed tiger" because like yeah, Louis has the power up until the point when Armand no longer wants him to have it. (also Louis persuasion being "imagine me without the burden of her" sucks, like sorry but this hurts, even if you didn't mean it and yes it matters if you meant it. But his later method - aka kiss to shut him the hell up - seems much better.)

Then I got a little pissed or perhaps confused at his "Are you asking or making me?" because we know that Louis can't actually make Armand do anything, not when he is 100 % sure he doesnt want to. Because if he could, Armand would've turned Madeleine. (speaking of, Armand not having turned anyone is pretty interesting, but i guess that that's how it was in the books and it was important so sure why not)

Also Louis' "It's ok, it's ok" here reminded me of "Of course, of course!" and also "It's fine, he's fine, we're fine" and it's just so funny how they all think that if they say things over and over again they'll convince themselves that they're true.

The turning itself was beautiful, as Louis said it would be. Like it wasn't violent, there wasn't fear, no tears. Just love and devotion and I'm so sad that Claudia's and Madeleine's beautiful dream didn't last longer.

Louis not caring afterwards is just another exampke of his dissociative state and I worry about his mental well-being. (All of their mental and physical well-beings tbh)

In Dubai again, Armand finally talking about the erased memories and how they both hate on him for it and they're right. Like what do you mean Daniel doesn't have the right to be angry, of course he does. It's fun to see Daniel delighted about fighting Armand.

But also... Louis asked him to get rid of those momeries (if he believe him. And I, in this episode more than ever and despite my better knowledge, do believe Armand. Maybe it's just because of Assad's phenomenal acting but I believe his words and I believe his tears. Which actually makes this all worse btw.) and that makes the whole situation suddenly much more complicated.

Other Paris plot - Santiago (fuck Santiago) and his coup -, yeah that kept me on my toes for the entire episode. Like Armand says that he was in love and Louis says that he got lazy but I just think he must've been blind to not see it.

I feel like Dubai kinda reflects this (Louis and Daniel unionizing as we've said and so it's like Armand losing his power over his people again) but also. Paris and it's aftermath was the biggest crisis of their relationship, must've been (followed by San Francisco and Daniel I'm sure). But now as the recount it they are also reliving it and are also in a full-blown crisis and i hope this one doesn't end in a fire.

And the ending of it all. Fuck. I was near tears watching it.

The double-date in the cafe felt like a dream, they even said in the episode insider that they wanted it to feel surreal or something like that, like a romantic comedy. And for a few minutes it does. They let you believe that they could be happy. You know they won't, you know that shit's about to go down and everything will end in ruin but this single scene makes you beg, no please, no don't fuck it up, just stay happy, like this, it can be good. And despite knowing what's coming, you stick your claws into this idea of happiness like a lifeline.

And then it hurts that much more when this perfect bubble pops.

I admire all the actors because idk what Armand was feeling the moment he stepped outside but through Assad's acting I felt it too. And as Louis looks around, seeing the world stop, here I know exactly what he must've felt- the realization hits, the betrayl and then the immense worry for Claudia and Jacob portrays it so beautifully.

"He chose." This breaks my heart. Because what did he choose exactly, or better yet, what did he choose over? I mean this is terrible, the trial, but what was his other choice? He calls himself a coward so maybe it was Louis and Claudia and Madeleine or him that the coven would go after. But maybe this was actually the better choice idk.

But like you see the regret in Armand's face in Paris but especially in Dubai and I trust him. I believe him that he regrets it, I believe him the tears and as I've said that just makes it so much worse. Because he chose this and now they suffer for it and he suffers for it too and blames himself (rightfully so), but it still hurts.

And then Lestat. Fuck. I knew this was gonna come (I just couldn't help myself and because of my recklessness saw a spoiler, that he's gonna be there) but that in no way did that knowledge diminish what I felt when I saw him. Because, hell, idk I'm just so excited to finally have him back because I love him but also I hate him and am so scared as to what he's gonna do. He's gonna testify against Louis and Claudia sure but what if he won't? Does he want to kill or fuck Louis? Will his and Armand's past play part in this or is that a box to remain unopened until later?

"You cannot script a hurricane" they said and so this means Lestat will go off script. But to what extent? At least to which it results in burning the theatre down.

The preview didn't help my state, quite the contrary actually. Louis in Paris is scared that Lestat's gonna come. Santiago's laughing. What does Armand feel? Who knows not me, I'm just scared. And excited. I feel like I won't fall asleep for two days after this but it's fine. I'm fine, everything's fine.

[paingoes]

23. how would you describe their voice? can they sing?

30. do they smell like anything notable?

34. how would your character describe themselves? it doesn't have to line up with how they really are

For Paris and Delta

23. oh im so glad you asked lol. i have voice claims for all of them here ! these arent exactly right but theyre a v good approximation.

as for the singing question like. basically yes and no? i think theres a difference between being able to sing and being a singer and i dont think either of them have much talent as vocalists specifically however they would still be nice to listen to! i said deltas voice is like julian casablanca and i think thats the general concensus. his technical ability isnt that impressive but hes still a good singer.

also i associate paris a lot with miniature tigers’ music and i associate his voice w it as well. same thing where im like. no the lead cant really sing but its still good.

rant over.

30.

scents i associate w delta: aquarium touch pool, petrichor and the grass when it rains, chlorine, ozone. an electric fire, if something has gone wrong.

i used to say i think paris smells a lot like cigarette smoke however given the long stretches in space (no open fires allowed) it cant actually be that strong. otherwise very faint smell of rose water and ivory bar soap. nothing special tbh.

you didnt ask for lorelai but lorelai smells like lily and coconut !!! and possibly more like cigarettes than paris does because it clings to her hair :/

34 - lol why is this so hard. both of them hate this question because theyve really dissociated so hard from their identity. i think in both cases they tend to only think in terms of utility and would more readily describe their function than they could their personality. both wouldnt get very far into it without using the words “evil”. here are some things they consider themselves to be though

paris: independent, competent, evil, self-aware?, so fucked

delta: intelligent, resilient, patient, well-behaved, evil (no contradiction), important

[mala--draws]

cool hand luke (1967) commentary !! (watching bc of the outsiders..? neverrr) watched (half) w/ @ziggy8891 <33 (sorry i keep dragging you half way into movies mate lol)

- why did i expect the quality to be like 360p or something. like deadass jumpscare. is he?? is he stealing a. what the fuck is he stealing..?? (edit: parking meters it turns out)

- BAHAHA THE WAY HE POPS THE CORK AS THE POLICE PULL UP??? he's deadass giggling what the fuuck

- the music is deceptively calm as these prisoners are extorted for their labour. hmm. nice acoustic soundtrack to the monotonous sound of whack whack hoes (like actual hoes)

- who's the one guy in a blue collar up amongst this sea of naked white guys. Oookay just zoom up on those glasses sure

- luke smart !!! captain!! he's so silly what the fuck, lil smilies n stuff so caz. 2 years for some vandalism???? 1 for manslaughter ?? he just keeps flashing lil cheeky smiles

- the prison warden (?) is so condescending i wanna smite him !!

- y'know if you threaten everything with "the box" folks might just become desensitised to it my guy. also i forgot how normalised smoking is outside of informal contexts even in the 1960s which i presume the movie is set (will have to check) "...spends a night in the box" x 20 million

- luke finishing his sentence YOU READ MY MIND. A NIGHT IN THE BOX !!! bro loiks like he's taking a nap standing up

LUKE : "I ain't heard that much worth listening to. A lot of guys laying down a lot of rules and regulations."

- his cadence is beautiful i want to steal his voice and put it in my own throat.

- the floor walker (carr or something) lowkey reminds me of sheldon's dad in young sheldon

- my friend and i were arguing whether luke's number was 21, 26 or 27. it was 37 folks

- trumpet score (not trombone apparently they're much deeper)

- luke's ice blue eyes giggling. his silly little smile, deceptive fuck. i know you got conviving little thoughts in there mixed with depression/sillyy

- folks i jinxed myself i have not freed myself of this long arduous curse of SHIT CONNECTION !!!

- DONALD DUCK IS THAT YOU??? Why??

- WHY IS MANS BUTT NAKED. oh the box. Oh god he looks terrified. first day ???? oh he's the guy who talked back

- ooo sassy luke !!! Giggling

- Uhm. that was uncomfortable. yeah .. never hearing lucille the same way again. drag ? whoever u r u make me so incredibly uncomfortable

- THANK YOU LUKE FOR INTERRUPTING HIM JESUS CHRIST. u think u gon beat his ass?? nawww THE SIDE EYEE BAHAHA

- aw nevermind. there goes luke i think. Ope. almost didn't recognise him without his necklace.

LUKE : "I don't want to frighten him."

- okayy. i'm now also curious why he keeps getting up. the shot with the chains made me think he was gonna play dirty and tug at them or something.

- NOT THE DECEPTIVE GUITAR AGAIN. HE'S GETTING BEAT ON oh past tense was. wait did he like... sorta win. cuz he didn't forfeit and drag left first

LUKE : "Sometimes nothing can be a real cool hand."

- There's the namesake !! LUKE HAS A VISITOR???? Ooo we got tea fellas

- Oh..??? They got the same smile hmmm. Arletta hm WAIT THAT'S HIS MUM. FIRST NAME BASIS?? Actually i can see that

ARLETTA : "Oh no, it ain't, Luke. You ain't alone. Everywhere you go, I'm with you."

LUKE : "You never thought maybe that's a heavy load?"

- him just offering the water tentatively again and again. ooo first "mom". nop back to arletta. dareisay he looks soft. mournful. grief. reluctance, before he draws away. arletta's striken expression througu mesh.

- i did nawt expect it to go like that, but like power to y'all!!! go luke

- tbh luke looks mildly spacey most of the time. like maybe even dissociative. i wanna know what's going on in his head

- the way they're treating this is genuinely hilarious. an egg eating competition. my fucking god. drag calm your stupid ass. the close up shots. my fucking god. man is deadass on his feet and whose fault ??? (cough His) (still smirking like a smartass) (lowkey looks crucified on thst table with that pose)

- oh arletta.... NOT THE SAD BANJO AND SOCIAL DISTANCING ???? god. a tear i see shining luke. Yep. his voice is very level. bless his heart jesus. the look down, sniffle, fade. man

- HE'S GETTING THE BOX????? FOR WHAT JESUS HOLY FUCK.

- KAZZOOOOO lets fucking go !!!!

- how do we still have 40 minutes. epic montage don't get me wrong but like???

- just keep swimmin just keep swimmin just keep swimmin just keep sludgin

- HE'S DEAD ??? NOT THE DOG FOR FUCK'S SAKE !!! i cannot guarantee no animals were harmed in the making of this movie cuz what

- LUKE !!! HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET BAACK HERE aaagGGHH the sound of hammering and DESPAIR

- he's out fellas. he's ouuut (for now......)

- CALLED IT OOH FUCK yeah he's damn done for. noo you don't get to call him cool hand luke ougghh

- the strained smiles and laughter. ough. ougghh. spent money to try give the fellas hope, that life outside of prison

- if i had a dime every time i saw buttcheeks in this movie i'd have two, which isn't a lot but i'm blaming that damned box for both of 'em

- eating the rice for him so he don't gotta get back to the box. the soft guitar melody coming in again. holy fuck guys

- that hand waggle youuu evil cunt. evil cunts the lot of you i'm about to reach through tbe screen and do some throttling of ny own

- i'm sorry is he digging his own grave. What. Ditch??? I mean at least he's got some guitar strummin' to his demise ????

- they ain't ever gonna be satisified. is he gonna get whacked with that shovel. ope. okay those lyrics are something else. not the clapping crikey. the fade to crickets and scraping shovel and soil

- ohhh luke. his soft sobbin. oughhh. cuz he laughed once.

- i got an awful feeling he's the one being fetched the rifle for. jesus. HAHA IS HE SERIOUSLY OHMYFUCKING GOD BAHAHAA HE REALLY WENT YE SIRE BUH BYEEE

- oh he ain't getting outta this one whole. drag's giggling oh my god. the shaky unreciprocated affirmations. cool hand fucking luke

- HIDING IN A CHURCH. ON THE RUN. NO YOU CAN'T DO THAT TO ME WHAT THE FUUCK. Ohh god. Hhhhhhhghhh guyys...s... the little peeky to the ceiling. mmm...... WHY'S THERE THE FUZZ aawwhh godd...

- at least he's got his cheeky ass grin is ???. Oh. And there goes his throat. chat he ain't making it outta here alive. THEOTTLE HIM DRAG FUCK YES YOU DOING ALL US A JUSTICE jesus christ.

DRAG : There's gonna be some world-shakin' Luke. We're goin' to send you a postcard.

-> said between sobs by the way

- damn. his small smile in the red-lit car window. THE DECEPTIVE GUITAR TRACK AGAIN AGHHH

- aawwg god.

DRAG : Oh Luke, he was some boy. Cool hand Luke. Hell– he was a natural born world-shaker!

- what a damn movie. zoom into his eye don't you why not. i'm confused impressed and lowkey mourning that one cut outsiders the musical song. mmmm

- only took a million technical difficulties but i can tick off cool hand luke from the watch list !

[delta-lethonomia]

H, P, R from the fanfic author ask meme!

H: How would you describe your writing style?

Hm… I like to think it's like if the Twin Peaks prequel movie Fire Walk With Me was a vibe, lol.

I hope for poignant and gripping, like watching an tragic accident as it unfolds that everyone knew was going to happen, the signs were all there, but it couldn't be stopped. I do realize it gets a bit dramatic though 😅 but I think the narrative is so colored by Tav's perspective it feels like being in her head, and I really like that, and that's what I want it to feel like. Personal but dissociative, everything is seen through a warped hue, and because it's so "in her head" it can be less precise and more intuitive, even if it's confusing sometimes. Taking the fun bits of purple prose and writhing in it.

P:  Where did you find the most inspiration for your story < insert title >?

So I assume you mean For All The Wrong Reasons because that's the big one lol. Tbh, because I developed Tav around Astarion, his influence and his story cannot be overstated, and there's a lot of personal character traits in her and me that I wanted to play with. Honestly I'm not really aware of the type of lowgrade toxic-yet-loving femdom in other media, so it's more that I wanted to write something that filled a hole I've been thinking about for a while. There are a lot of nice, endlessly giving Tavs in bg3 fic (or at least there were early on back when I was reading it), so I wanted to write something very different specifically to contrast. I will say though, I spent far too much time in the Naruto fandom as a kid and I think my obsession with Uchiha Madara rewired my brain chemistry. There's a lot of things with him and Obito that still make my brain go 'ping!', so those character stories/vibes still have a lot of influence I think.

Other than that it's mostly music. I wrote the majority of the earlier chapters and plot listening to Electric Callboy, specifically the songs "Parasite", "Hate/Love", "Fuckboi", and "Crystals." Other influential songs were "Crystaleyes" by AViVA, and some older songs by Florence + the Machine, such as "Kiss With A Fist," "Drumming Song", "Heavy In Your Arms", and "Hardest of Hearts."

Stinging Nettle Wine came about because I'm a sad tormented bisexual who's deep in the female side of the bi-cycle right now while married monogamously to a man, and I have a lot of thoughts about toxic sibling dynamics.

R: Which writers (fanfic or otherwise) do you consider the biggest influence on you and your writing?

Ooooof. The Carnivorous Muffin and Vinelle, for their Twilight and Harry Potter fics, taking characters down plotlines that make perfect sense character-wise but are so utterly wild you'd never expect them. (It's like the movie The Substance - utterly insane in the best way, but positive, y'know? Like I understand how we got here, but the ride was something else.)

Anything by astolat, specifically her Game of Thrones fics, just because I can point to them and say, "Look, fanfic is real literature. This is phenomenal. You can be a real author and still write fanfic."

Diablerie by Oceanbreeze7, a Tom Riddle (HP) fanfic that haunts me to this day, and whose visuals and philosophical content matter made my brain very happy. Anything by Metalomagnetic (HP). Anything by Tozette (HP & Naruto), though Dirt & Ashes holds a special place in my heart. The Last Ones Standing by olliya (Naruto, for having a post-apocalypse and sticking to it.) Five Kingdoms for the Dead by Evil Is A Relative Term, another Naruto fic that had some influence over baby me for sure.

I feel like there's two distinct bins here, the fics I like for their tight plot and commitment to character development and agency, and the fics I like for the visuals and philosophy, how dark they are while not being torture porn 😅 When it comes to writing style though, I know I have liked fics with the sort of disjointed quality I tend to write in, but I can't think of them at the moment. I've only recently started bookmarking things on ao3 so there's a lot of stuff that's just lost to time and memory, even though I've been reading fanfic since 2005 or so.

[lifmera]

OH MY GOD I TYPED UP A WHOLE THING AND ACCIDENTALLY LOST IT OH MY FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOD I HATE IT HERE- anyways *ahem* attempt no. 2 of me asking you for a Hazbin Hotel match because I have never done this kinda thing before and I'm curious :)

GENDER AND SEXUALITY: I'm non-binary, they/he/she pronouns. I generally don't have a preference between the three tbh but I do appreciate ppl mixing it up! I'm sex-repulsed asexual and gray-biromantic. Again no real preference lmfao

APPEARANCE: White, dark blonde hair, green eyes, just below 5'3, pretty basic looking all things considered. I've got a pretty angular face I think. I'm afab and don't shave cuz it's too much work. I wear pretty much exclusively graphic tees(band shirts, dumb jokes, fandom stuff... that kinda thing) or button ups with funky patterns paired w/ the comfiest pants I can find, but occasionally I'll pull myself together enough to make a dencent(?) outfit, typically reminiscent of shit scene kids in the early 2000s would wear. I also like dying my hair but usually don't bcuz I procrastinate on it for too long.

PERSONALITY: If I had to describe it in one word? Unhinged. I am unhinged. 7/10 people will agree I am a very frightening person to be around. I say out of pocket shit(ranging from vile sex jokes to just straight up threats of violence) pretty regularly. I also like to sneak up on ppl and make very loud noises just to see their reactions... *ahem* anyways, despite all that, most of my friends would also describe me as caring and loyal! I have low empathy, so the only way I ever understand any of my friends emotions is by using my own experiences to compare and contrast until I have a decent idea of what's going on in their head, but I AM very good at psychoanalyzing people and providing objective, unbiased thoughts & advice on their situations. I would also literally go to war for my friends. Like, if you hurt one of them say your goddamn PRAYERS because I am coming to your location with a knife and murderous intent. I'm kinda awkward & shy at first, but at my core I AM an extrovert. I just don't know how to talk to ppl bcuz I am ✨neurodivergent✨(autism & ADHD) and have a hard time approaching ppl bcuz I don't know if they'll like me or not. Typically I make friends by making very loud jokes and waiting for somebody to approach me because they like my sense of humor. Which speaking of, I am very funny! Most people I interact with regularly would agree I am a very funny person!!! I'm also really good at media analysis and making arguments. I don't do well in debates because I choke under the pressure(gotta work on that tbh), but I'm good at writing argumentative essays. Plus, I'm pretty good at just bold face lying to people so overall I can be pretty damn convincing. I like adrenaline rushes and try to actively seek out new experiences as long as I'm confident they won't cause me any significant damage(socially or physically) in the long run. Which is unfortunately not many because I am INCREDIBLY paranoid. Like to the point of accidentally staying up til 3am cuz I'm convinced someone's gonna break into my house and kill me... I also have depression, severe dissociation issues, and existential dread which is. Fun. That's fun. I also have a tendancy to go down random rabbit holes and obsess over inconsequential details in shows I like to the point of making whole ass conspiracy theories :)

LIKES: Cartoons, drawing, writing, acting, singing, reading fanfic, watching YouTube, long drives, listening to music, jumpscaring ppl, being funny, ziplining, problem solving, video essays, ghost hunting shows, supernatural stuff in general, psychology, media analysis, frogs, sharks, ferrets, cats, violence, chocolate, Drawfee(YT channel), glitter, and just. So many fandoms. Just so many.

DISLIKES: Slimey shit, being touched(most of the time, there are occasional exceptions), being touch starved DESPITE not liking being touched, ppl insulting my interests(only I get to do that), media illiteracy, projects I'm not invested in, ppl putting preasure on me, mosquitoes, existential dread, dissociating, being tired all the time, being wrong, taking risks, feeling vulnerable, and stories with a lot of potential that just. Don't do anything with said potential.

PREFERENCES?: Uh. Someone significantly taller than me(shouldn't be hard Hazbin characters are fucking huge) that'll listen to my insane rants and is able to match my energy.

Akdncksmfnsmdsn I rlly hope I did this right again it's my first time doing anything like this-

HEYYYYYY!!! FINALLY GOT TO YOU 😜

Honestly I was debating on like a few different characters BUT!

I’ve decided to pair you with… LUTE!

Honestly I think she’d also be sex repulsed. She’s definitely more of a romantic lover! Though she doesn’t show it.

I think she talked to you at first because your style choices reminded her of Adam- and obviously, she misses him like crazy

If you did dye your hair often with her, she’d probably want to help you! I think she’d apply the color so it doesn’t get messy :)

She LOVES your personality. She thinks you are similar to her in many ways!

She also would need to experience it herself. She’s pretty stoic and doesn’t show her emotions. She’d probably think it’d make herself look weak.

I think you both would definitely fight back to back 24/7! You both would fight to the DEATH for each other.

She loves how caring you are for other people- it gives her a different sense of pace. Someone new!

I think Lute would see a TINY BIT through your lies. Lute is very observant with EVERYTHING.

She’d love if you made jokes. She need’s something less boring in her life than just standing there.

Adrenaline rushes? Totally join the exorcists- and you can be her right hand!!

She’d try to help you through paranoia, but you shouldnt worry much. She’s STRONG asf!

She’d LOVE TO HEAR CONSPIRACIES!! she would think they are SO COOL.

Although she isn’t much taller- I think she’d around 5’8 personally. She just looks small bc shes always next to Adam who’s HUGE!

She may not be able to match your energy, only because she’ll need to come out of her shell more- she’s always listening. She has ears EVERYWHERE.

~~~~

HOPE THIS WAS OKAY ❣️

[hiddenhearthwitch]

do u have any tips/advice on how to identify and separate intrusive thoughts vs anxiety vs coincidence vs ‘this a fucking sign from the gods PAY ATTENTION’ cause tbh i feel so alone and def fuckng insane :)

First of all sugs, you're not alone. 💚 I definitely struggle with intrusive thoughts and it can be a terrible struggle between a "sign" and "wow you're in a park of course you saw a bird". You're not insane, there's just a lot in the world and even inside yourself for one human brain to process. I'm going to try to break this up into intrusive thoughts + anxiety then into coincidence + signs because it feels easier to lay out that way. We'll talk magical and mundane ways to work through this. I'm sending you good vibes babes. 🤍✨

I constantly have to remind myself that thoughts are not facts and I shouldn’t believe everything I think.

Sometimes when I have an intrusive thought I visualize myself as this dope ass paladin and I literally fight my thoughts away? I just close my eyes and meditate and focus on being the strong person I want to be and slay my own dragons. Sometimes that’s too hard and I just picture All Might because he’s Best Dad, if you have a favorite character I would give it a shot.

Aromatherapy bracelets and necklaces can be super helpful as well. Medicinally speaking lavender, chamomile, and opium would be the most mentally easing. Magically speaking pine, oak, lavender, valerian root, and hawthorn are all great for stability/protection in my experience. 

I personally carry around a sachet of onyx, rose quartz, lavender, pine, and oak.

You can minimize the damage of intrusive thoughts with self-help. This includes being mindful in the wake of an intrusive thought. Don’t waste your time obsessing over why you had that thought or what it all means. I’ve noticed once I learned to get past asking, “why am I thinking this?” all the time they don’t weigh as heavily on me. You are not your thoughts.

Intrusive thoughts are kind of just like a really loud boombox to me. Usually, if I listen to music I can really get into I can quiet down the thoughts. For the past four months or so Nujabes has been amazing musician to turn too. This past month Modal Soul has been the album that helps the most. It usually takes me a full album to feel normal again and I feel albums give me more stability than a playlist but honestly do what’s best for you.

Compulsive behavior can manifest when you try to change who you are based on the intrusive thoughts you experience. Changing who you are and your reality because of a thought that isn’t necessarily rational is the worst way to go about it. Stop trying to change who you are so you can adjust to your thoughts. Try to think about yourself in a third person perspective, “what would (insert name here) do in this situation?” This might not work for everyone but it’s helped me out once I started noticing the patterns.

From a magical perspective I’ve noticed moonstone is the stone that helps me the most. However most of my intrusive thoughts are PTSD related and I feel like moonstone helps me because it’s also stabilizing and can help prevent dissociation. I do also really enjoy onyx, tigers eye, and rose quartz as well!

Learn to recognize the starting signs for your intrusive thoughts. When my intrusive thoughts begin, they usually start off pretty simple. It’s one thought that feeds into a bigger insecurity or fear. Once you can spot the first thought you can start fighting it.

On the focus of coincidence versus a sign:

If I'm unsure if it's a sign I ask myself why I'm looking for a sign or if my gods made it clear to me to look out for one. Am I in a turning point in my life? Do I know I need guidance? Did previous divination point towards a sign coming my way?

Sometimes coincidence is the sign. If you're trying to decide if you want a purple or green wedding fit and you're driving down the road and see a shit ton of purple cars. I would call that a sign. If it's something you're actively thinking about and then it's glaringly in your face - I read that as a sign.

I've personally asked my gods to send me a sign three times if they're trying to tell me something. So that way I know.

I also take into account where I am. For example: I tend to read falcons and hawks as a sign or general greeting from Freyja. I live five miles from a national park though - hawks are every where, if I'm looking I can pretty much always find one or two on the way to or from work. Not really a sign if it's just local ecosystem at play.

That being said - they can still be signs. It's one thing if a bird of pray is just sitting on a lamp post. It's another to see it sitting on my car or catching a snake right outside my window. Common things aren't always signs - it can just be the mundane. That's when it's important to think about how it appeared and how it made you feel. Intuition is a powerful tool.

Ask yourself how you're feeling. I know this is probably a typical response but I know I personally read into everything when I'm anxious. I will catastrophize. Anything and everything becomes a sign of impending doom, fear of failure, etc. It's important to be aware of your inner dialogue and feelings when looking for signs.

If divination is a strong suit for you, consider using your divination tools as a way to verify if something was or was not a sign.

This is 100% personal belief but if a deity comes to me in a dream I will always read it as a sign. My dreams with gods are far and few between but relationships with them run very deep.

I'm not sure if any of this really helped or made sense but I hope it did. Good luck on your endeavors friend. 💐

[the-stardust-col]

Mr forgettable by David Kushner is such a system coded song tbh

The part in the music video where he walks through the doorway and all of a sudden hes old and he’s looking around like “what happened” is very relatable bc it’s like. What if I black out and wake up and it’s years later and I’m old and my life is gone. Cause that could happen.

“The old me hides while the new me fights look in my eyes hes still in there right” has me thinking about host changes

And when it’s pitch black and you can only see his face and hands illuminated by the flashlight it’s like amnesia and dissociation

Idk watch the video and tell me your thoughts ig