#Please reach out if you need help

[daniswoso]

“Would that be so bad?”

Leah Williamson x Reader

Warnings: SELF HARM, mentioned and no one physically does it in the fic but it’s alluded to. Suicidal thoughts, HEAVY on the angst. Please don’t read if you are struggling, and read at your own risk and pace. Thank you.

Summary: What if you want something bad to happen?

*********

You were in bed. Asleep. Your back to the woman you love.

Meanwhile Leah was wide awake, adjusting herself every 3 seconds, but never being able to take her eyes off the back of your head.

The thing was, you had just faced a life altering (maybe even career changing, but Leah didn’t want to think about that right now) injury.

Your 2 ACL tear in 2 seasons. You recovered from your last one quicker than most, spending 289 days on the sidelines recovering as opposed to the typical 300 odd. Then you tore it again not even 3 weeks later in a match against Tottenham.

Ashleigh Neville went in for an ,admittedly awful, tackle which caused you to go down. You heard the pop, felt the same throb, felt the lump in your throat and the tears stream down your cheeks.

You knew you’d done it.

And Leah knew too, it seemed. Because she came storming down to Tottenham’s half with a look that rivalled the aggression of Roy Keane in his prime, fully prepared to rip both the ref and Neville a new one.

But when she saw you, crumpled on the floor looking utterly defeated she stopped short.

All she could think about was how much this was going to affect you mentally again, just like last time.

Because last time you isolated yourself. You stayed locked in your’s and Leah’s room, only going out for physio or doctor’s appointments, to have a quick wash, a single slice of toast; then the cycle repeated.

Lock yourself away.

Shower and go to physio.

Come back.

Eat one tiny thing.

Lock yourself away.

Repeat.

It was a dangerous cycle, Leah knew that as she was the one looking after you. But some days she felt like she’d failed, some days she’d find both new and faded cuts on your wrist and thighs that knocked her sick.

And this time was no different.

Leah had come to bed. You had been there all day. Leah had done her nightly routine, you had not. You’d been in bed all fucking day.

And Leah felt useless.

So at 3:29 AM, she shook you awake, sick of not knowing what was going on in your head.

“Babe..” You murmured, shaking her hands off you.

“Y/N please, just wake the fuck up.” The urgency in Leah’s voice and the crack in her tone caused you to shoot up.

“Love? Are you okay? What’s happening?” Questions came spewing out of your mouth at a million miles per hour, fearing for the worst.

Leah put a hand on your forearm to relax you and you try to ignore the slight sting of the fabric pressing against the lines on your arm, “I’m worried about you.” She admits.

And your heart stops, slowing down. Your eyes feel like they’re about to pop out of your skull.

“Please, please just talk to me, what’s going on?” Her voice was urgent.

“Nothing.” Your reply was calm, short.

“Y/N…” Leah sighs, switching on the lights. “If you don’t talk to me, something bad’s going to happen! I’m scared! Okay? I’m fucking scared what you’ll do to yourself!” She shouts, desperate to not cry.

“What if I want something bad to happen?!” You snap, your voice dry and your words loud.

Leah stops. You stop.

“Y/N… Are- Do you… Are you going to kill yourself?” Leah murmurs the words as if the mere thought of them makes you sick.

“I… No. I’m not going to, and- and I don’t want to kill myself… I just wouldn’t be sad if I did die soon.” You admit shakily, tears streaming and your breath coming in short shaky gasps.

“Oh… Oh baby.” Leah sobs, bringing you into a hug. “Why didn’t you tell me?” She mumbles into your hair as your tears wet her shoulder.

“I didn’t want to worry you.”

She tries to hold back a sob, kissing the top of your head, “You worry me more by locking yourself away.” She mumbles.

“Please just promise me you’ll talk to me. We can get better together.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yeah.”

You were tired of feeling like you had the world on your shoulders, tired of feeling like you were deadlifting 600lbs by yourself. But you were so grateful Leah was there now.

***********

A/N: lowk hate the ending, but enjoy anyway!

[karmagotme]

On New Years Eve of 2023, the world lost a beautiful soul. My darling niece, Emily Williams, lost her battle and passed away surrounded by her immediate family. She brought so much joy to all who knew her and always wanted to help others. In her honour, her family have established a grassrootz fund-raiser to raise awareness for those struggling with their mental health.

Please consider a donation, no matter how small. There are many youths just like Emily who need your support.

Be at peace, my darling girl. ❤️

[pagesofkenna]

My Outer Wilds Solar System Map Embroidery Pattern is finally done, and up for sale on my ko-fi!

The pattern includes a printable template (which you can use on printable fabric, or copy onto your fabric by hand) plus a 25-page booklet detailing the steps to take for every section of the pattern. I've also included suggestions on how to improve on my initial design!

This is currently up on my ko-fi for $4 USD, and is a digital product (nothing physical will ship; you'll have to supply your own fabric and thread, though I give a list of all the DMC thread colors I used).

Thank you to everyone who reached out over the last two years expressing interest in this project!

[vaggieslefteye]

HUSK, Hotel Bartender & Concierge | 1x04 - Masquerade

"Oh, I FORGOT — you're the wise-old bartender who's seen it all! Get the fuck over yourself and pour me a real drink."

[hoforwonho]

thank you, moonbin. rest in peace.

[dtfans-for-palestine]

(❗❗❗❗❗❗❗❗❗project is on hiatus ❗❗❗❗❗❗❗❗❗)

MASTERTHREAD

Here you will find how to donate to Gaza in various sources as payments for the commissions that you want and the post with the artist/writers/editors/translator availables in this project ^^

All you need to do is send a screenshot proof that you donated the amount and you are good to go :D

Where and how to donate or buy e-sims

Threads of artists

Threads of writers

Threads of editors

Translations in french and Spanish available too 4 dollars (the minimum for an e-sims) as staters price ( Will be negociated with the length of the work )

[valewritessss]

My friend just made me download Airbuds how do I explain me listening to the entire Hamilton track

[whyeverr]

Today is Election Day in the US. 🗳

My reach is small—and my influence essentially nonexistent—but it still feels important to say something, especially knowing how important the midterms are this year.

Turnout of voters aged 18–29 is on the rise—51% voted in 2020, compared to just 39% in 2016—which is fucking amazing. But, even at 51% turnout, young voters still have the lowest turnout of any age bracket. And turnout always drops for midterms, something we cannot afford to have happen as our hairline majority in the senate hangs in the balance. Maintaining and growing that majority is our best chance at protecting reproductive freedom, LGBTQIA+ rights, expanding gun reform, etc. 

I’ve seen a tweet making the rounds about how voting isn’t a valentine to a candidate you love and support 100%, but rather a chess move toward the world you want to live in. And I might not be a chess player but I think that’s a pretty damn good way of putting it. The platform of the particular Democrat candidate(s) on your ballot today likely does not perfectly reflect your ideals. But, pragmatically speaking, a vote for them is a vote against a Republican (whom I hope I can safely assume, dear mutual, reflects none of your values). A vote for them is—at minimum—a vote to hold the line of crumbling democracy against the terrifying slide into christofascism, and at best, may actually pleasantly surprise us all and lead to something positive. I never would have imagined Biden passing student loan forgiveness when I voted for him, and yet, here we are! 

Of course, there is so much room under the sun for critiques of the two party system, corrupt politicians, Citizens United, the electoral college, etc, etc, etc, and unfortunately there will always be those who insist that voting “doesn't matter,” or in some way makes you complicit in upholding an imperfect system. But I truly and firmly believe that it’s not either/or, it’s “yes and.” Gerrymandering and voter suppression wouldn’t be a thing if voting didn’t have power. And abstaining from voting is about as effective politically as abstinence-only birth control. If you have the ability to vote, please, please make it a priority today. 🥲🇺🇸 

[logan-w]

hope this isn’t triggering (too badly-)

TW SH:

Idk if this helps but I need really big help I can’t find stuffn to keep me from relapsing

Try wearing a long sleeve garment, keep away from items that could be used against you in your relapse, if it gets really bad and you can't keep it away then try a loose rubberband instead of something sharp. Try music and TV shows, be with someone you know you're safe/comfortable with, find your pets if you have any, try reading, try running cold water over it, or mindfulness

You're gonna be okay, I know it's hard right now, but I swear to you, Anon, it gets better, okay? There is a light at the end of the tunnel. It's just gonna be a journey, and it will be worth it if you keep moving. Please don't hesitate to reach out if you're struggling, okay? You are not weak for asking for help. I'm proud of you for reaching out here over asks, which takes a shit ton of courage to do. I don't know what you're going through or what you've gone through before, but I hope things get better for you. It just takes one step at a time, but you'll make it through. I'm sure of it <3

You are not alone, and you have support if you want it. I'm proud of you, pookie. Keep fighting, the sun can't hide forever

[holystressresponsebatman]

Okay, so, just one question...

Does anybody else want to know and/or speculate on what the heck the other "Shell Raisers" are??

Because in the s2 episode "Vengeance is Mine," we see the weapons options for the Shellraiser other than hot compressed garbage and manhole covers. We see Donnie utilize both "Smoke Screen" and "Pizza Grease," both of which are pretty self-explanatory.

But what about "Snaggletooth?" Or "Rad Weekend?" Even "Das Boot?"

I think we can all figure out what "Poop T.N.T" is supposed to be (*cue stinkiest explosion known to mankind*)... ("Why am I smelling... ze baby poopz?") hehehe, anyway *whistles and walks away from the public property I just ruined*

Are these other ones a reference to something that I'm just too young to get? Is it like a callback to earlier iterations of our scaly shelled friends?? I'm so curious.

Has anybody written a fanfic exploring these or just happen to have a hc about them?? I would love to hear/read about them! And rn I'm too lazy and tired to think of my own (nursing school kicking my behind atm, sigh...) Anyway please please please let me know what you think!!! I am desperate!! I'm on my hands and knees pleading for just a drop of that oh-so-valuable Fan-Craziness (TM pending).

[heymacy]

I’m sorry if this is bothersome, but I am interested in learning how to make GIFs. Could you possibly nudge me in the right direction on how to do so? And, again, I’m sorry if this is an annoying ask, I’m just genuinely curious.

hello sweet friend! this isn't an annoying ask at all! i'm so happy you reached out and i'm more than happy to share some resources + tips that helped me start on my own gif making journey!

lots of info + babbling below the cut!

first, THIS is the initial tutorial i used to get started. you will need Photoshop (or an equivalent, though i will admit i'm not familiar with the other applications) and a computer - and that's pretty much it! i know it can seem overwhelming at first because it's so much information but i promise this tutorial has absolutely everything you'll need and is laid out in a really straightforward way!

second, if you're planning on using the video import method as opposed to screencapping, like i do, you'll need video files. i don't know how to use websites like MEGA or any other file downloader so i got all my videos from THIS youtube channel (which i feel most everyone in the gallavich fandom is already familiar with, lmao) - but the quality is still really really good! 1080p should be all you need. you can either download an application to your computer that converts the files via URL or you can use a website (THIS one is really good) OR you can do what i do sometimes when i realize i'm missing a scene (because some videos that are age restricted [see: dock scene] often won't be convertible via applications and websites) which is screen record on your computer or phone and then plop the file wherever you need it - whatever works best for you!

third, when it comes to adjustments, coloring, editing, etc. it's going to take a lot of trial and error but you WILL get there! my favorite adjustments are: curves, levels, hue/saturation, color balance, selective color, vibrance, and sometimes black & white. my favorite filters are the smart sharpen feature and noise.

for SMART SHARPEN my settings are:

amount: 500%, radius: 0.4px, reduce noise: 10%, remove: gaussian blur

THEN a second adjustment using:

amount: 10%, radius: 10px, reduce noise: 10%, remove: gaussian blur

then for NOISE i usually add 4% noise, uniform, monochromatic! admittedly i just recently started using this filter but i think i've found my sweet spot! feel free to play around with this one. for example, black & white with high level noise gives old movie vibes - experiment, experiment, experiment!

HERE is a link to the BBC coder for colored text for captions

HERE is a link to a website where you can get a ton of free PNG files for overlays and funky edits - just make sure you put "PNG" after your search terms!

i also have a bunch of bookmarked links to various gif maker's resource pages that have been helpful to me in the past - if you'd like them please just DM me and i can send you some links!

finally, do you know about the Shameless Creator's Network? we're a network of digital creators for shameless; all characters, all seasons, all experience levels! if you're on Discord, we have a server where we have channels dedicated to just this: learning, growing, inspiring! HERE is an invite link and HERE is our blog!

otherwise, if you have any other questions or need help along the way, PLEASE don't hesitate to reach out to me via asks or DM - i am MORE than happy to help! i love seeing people learn a new craft and if i can assist at all with that then i absolutely will!

[tavs-kin-korner]

Little Announcement (vent, kinda)

hI, eVERYONE, aS MANY OF YOU MAY HAVE NOTICED, i HAVEN'T BEEN DOING REQUESTS AS QUICKLY AS i NORMALLY DO, i CAN'T REALLY HIDE IT ANYMORE, i'M NOT DOING OK AT ALL LATELY, iT'S HARD FOR ME TO FIND HAPPINESS IN THE THINGS THAT USUALLY BRING IT ANYMORE, aND i'VE BEEN SO OVERWHELMED WITH MY STRESS, aNXIETY, aND DEPRESSION, iT'S MAKING THINGS i ENJOY DOING NOT AS ENJOYABLE ANYMORE, tHE BIGGEST INFLUENCE ON HOW i'M FEELING IS SCHOOLWORK AND STUFF, sO HOPEFULLY AFTER GRADUATION, i START DOING BETTER, uNTIL THEN, pLEASE EXPECT REQUESTS TO BE PRETTY SLOW, i'M SORRY IF THIS IS AN INCONVENIENCE TO ANYONE, i WILL STILL POST A BIT UNTIL THEN, iT JUST WON'T BE AS FREQUENT, i'LL STILL HAPPILY REBLOG ANY PROMO POSTS, sO FEEL FREE TO TAG ME IN THOSE, i RECOMMEND REQUESTING FROM THEM UNTIL MY LITTLE HIATUS(?) ENDS, tHANK YOU FOR STICKING HERE AND UNDERSTANDING, i LOVE YOU ALL, /P

V

[Hi, everyone. As many of you may have noticed, I haven't been doing requests as quickly as I normally do. I can't really hide it anymore. I'm not doing ok at all lately. It's hard for me to find happiness in the things that usually bring it anymore, and I've been so overwhelmed with my stress, anxiety, and depression, it's making things I enjoy doing not as enjoyable anymore. The biggest influence on how I'm feeling is schoolwork and stuff, so hopefully after graduation, I start doing better. Until then, please expect requests to be pretty slow. I'm sorry if this is an inconvenience to anyone. I will still post a bit until then, it just won't be as frequent. I'll still happily reblog any promo posts, so feel free to tag me in those. I recommend requesting from them until my little hiatus(?) ends. Thank you for sticking here and understanding, I love you all. /p]

[violetsandshrikes]

Can you clarify what you mean when you say people need more information on hormones and don't understand them? I don't think you're TERFy but things have been bad recently.

Sorry this has taken weeks to reply to - I got caught up with uni and then family things, and I was trying to think of a good way to explain what I meant.

From memory, when I posted about needing more hormone education, I meant in the general public as a whole, and stupidly I actually forgot about gender because I was thinking about the rise of the trad era and their beliefs, and a lot of the (sometimes very strange) misinformation they spread about health.

Since getting into animal hormones and working with them, I’ve had a lot of strange questions from different people, whether that be family, friends or strangers. At first I was honestly quite confused and a little horrified at some of them, but it came quickly apparent a lot of people just…don’t have any basic information to work off of, and so it’s really hard for them to take an idea presented and decide if it has any truth to it or not.

One example I’ve seen a lot is people really concerned about testosterone - particularly a lot of men, usually younger, really concerned about their testosterone levels for various reasons. I was at an event and I had heard the older teenage son of a family friend talking to people about how there was basically a movement within governments and heath orgs to give men low testosterone because destroying masculinity and so on. When he mentioned being worried about his own low testosterone, I just simply asked him if he’d requested a blood panel from his doctor. And he wasn’t the only one who looked…genuinely confused. People were arguing that you couldn’t just ask your doctor for a basic blood panel. And I was like uh…yes you can. If your doctor doesn’t want to, that’s usually a pretty good sign that the working relationship isn’t going to be great, and you should seek a new one. A lot of people seemed really confused by this concept as well (which is a whole other concerning kettle of fish).

I think that basic health and biology is already pretty poorly understood by a lot of people for a variety of reasons. Hormones in particular are a bitch because they can be complicated to explain, and because of that, it’s easy for an air of mystery to be added and for them to be used for people to peddle some real bullshit.

Ideally, I think we need more science communication to the general public about what hormones actually are, what they do, that you can ask to have them checked on a basic level and HOW to do that, and genuine signs that you should be concerned about. I think good public health campaigns would help disperse a lot of general misinformation and fear around them.

[supercantaloupe]

so maestro told me tonight at the end of rehearsal that he "got an email about me", turns out it was the org that's interviewing me next week for their summer job reaching out to him as a reference. and then when that was figured out maestro proceeded to spend the next, like, twenty minutes standing there writing out a recommendation for me on his phone at 10 pm while i'm Sitting Right There, just trying to get the assignment notes to send to the orchestra,

[altruistic-meme]

if you could... describe aftg in 5 words

oh this is not as easy a question to answer as it should be akfhsdkf bc like. i could describe its plot, or my thoughts on it as a fan, or how it makes me feel, or just make a joke, or or or and bc idk why you're asking it makes it harder :'))

but let's see...

plot: gay sports mafia found family.

fan: drama, familiarity, trauma, comedy, home

feelings: love, understanding, chaos, joy, comfort

joke: you know, i get it-

(as you can see, i couldn't pick which one to go with, so choose whichever 5 words you want lmao)

[hauntingblue]

I have connected two dots... yamato kaido and momo (and kinda shirahoshi with her top) have clouds above their shoulders... and luffy in gear fourth has them also.... I can see the signs