#Plus; she is a puppy and she needs training and stuff to know the rules of the household and such

[siixkiing]

Sorry for delays and such...puppo still getting use to the new house and such. It’s been an all hands on deck situation with her, but she is such a cutie pie soooo she gets a pass.

[m2ok]

Captain Price Headcannons

John Price X M!Reader

A/N: I started putting together furniture today and my first thought was how good Price would be at assembling shit and that headcannon just kinda spiraled into my general thoughts about him :) enjoy

Weirdly good at putting furniture together. Anything you buy that needs to be assembled he can put it together in an hour or less, and without the instructions too. He’d take one look at them, huff and throw em out. He’d probably add reinforcements too to make it better.

Going off of that, he for sure likes woodworking and would rather build you the things you want instead of buying it anyways. He knows he can make it better and just the way you want it.

His love language in terms of giving is acts of service. He just loves doing stuff for you even if it’s something simple like getting your favorite drink when he’s at the store.

His love language in terms of receiving is quality time. He’s so busy that getting down time is sacred and all he wants to do is spend it with you. He’d follow you everywhere you went just to be with you even if he hated whatever stores you went into.

His favorite cuddling position is when he gets to lay his head on your chest and have you play with his hair. He just finds it so relaxing to be able to listen to your heartbeat while your soft fingers worked through his hair.

You cannot tell me he isn’t a complete gentleman. He for sure opens doors for you, insists on driving (you’d always be a passenger prince idc idc), all in all just a respectful man.

I think he’d stick to classic nicknames like “sweetheart”, “honey”, “my love” that kinda thing.

Speaking of nicknames, he gets genuinely worried when you call him by his actual name because you only call him pet names. Will 100% think he did something wrong and get a little pouty.

Protective but not in a possessive way. He knows you can take care of yourself especially if you’re in the military, but it’s just something that comes with him. Honestly he’s protective over all his boys, just you a bit more.

Speaking of you being in the military, he’d have a very strict no favoritism rule. He’d treat you just like he did the other men. Not only because his job is important to him, but also because he respects you and doesn’t want to underplay your abilities simply because you’re together. Plus treating you like everyone else would ensure you get stronger and are therefore safer.

He wouldn’t hide the relationship from the team, but he just wouldn’t tell them. They’d find out because you’d probably give him a kiss goodbye when they went on a mission and the team saw. When asked about it he’d just say “we’ve been dating for a while, I wasn’t hiding it you just didn’t ask”

When you two eventually settled down you would have a cute, small house. It would be like a cabin in the woods, not too far from civilization but far enough that you didn’t have to worry about noise pollution or nosy neighbors.

Likes going on hikes with you, probably likes to camp too. Honestly just all of that kinda outdoorsy shit like chopping wood for your fire place.

You wouldn’t have a farm of any sort but I think you’d definitely have chickens, maybe ducks. He likes the taste of fresh eggs better than the store and he knows they were at least taken good care of.

Absolutely gets a big dog like a Saint Bernard or a mountain dog. Got it when it was a puppy and trained it to be a good hiking/guard dog. You always treated her like a little baby so now she’s more cuddly than scary and John always pretends to be mad about it

“She was supposed to be a killing machine. Now look at her” he’d say as she laid on top of you, blankets tucked around her so she’d stay warm.

“She’s just a baby!” You’d counter, covering her ears so she didn’t wake up.

Has a perpetual smell of pine and fresh air. Not overwhelmingly masculine, but strong and sturdy.

All in all I just think he would be a very comforting lover. He’d take such good care of you and it would be a stable, very mature relationship. You’d talk things out instead of argue, communicate well, and over all just have a healthy relationship.

As always, requests are open :)

[kelliealtogether]

My prompt fulfillment for "If I kiss you right now, I won't be able to stop."

Set in my magic farmer's market universe, timeline unknown. 😌

    Normally, when Ronan returns to the farmhouse on Sunday mornings after taking care of his dreamt chickens and dreamt goats, the house is quiet. Sundays are their lazy days, the days when they putter about the Barns and curl up on the couch together, reading or talking or napping. They’re the only days Adam gets to sleep in, between getting up early to drive to Harrisonburg for work during the week and getting up early on Saturday mornings for the farmer’s market. 

    That’s why it surprises Ronan to hear Adam talking to someone upstairs when he comes back inside after he finishes taking care of his dream animals. 

    Ronan checks the old grandfather clock in the front sitting room as he toes his boots off in the front hallway. It’s almost nine, so it’s not too early for a phone call, but Adam is usually phone avoidant until he’s had a cup of coffee or two, and there’s no evidence Adam’s been downstairs yet. There’s no lingering smell of coffee from a freshly brewed cup and the gray JMU hoodie Adam pulls on every morning is still draped over the back of the couch where he’d left it the day before. 

    So Ronan is more than a little curious about what’s going on upstairs in the master bedroom. But, being a good husband, he decides to make Adam a cup of coffee before going to investigate. 

    When he’s done in the kitchen, after filling a dreamt mug that always keeps its contents warm with coffee from the coffee maker his father had dreamt over a decade ago, Ronan heads upstairs. Adam’s still talking, and Ronan tries to keep his feet light on the steps as he climbs them in an attempt to make out what Adam’s saying. 

    “You’re so bad. You’re gonna get us in trouble.” 

    Ronan pauses, foot hovering over the far right side of the next step because if he puts it down in the middle of the stair, the wood will creak and give him away. What Adam can be doing in their bedroom to get in trouble is beyond Ronan, because when there’s trouble in the bedroom, it’s good trouble and Ronan is involved. Without Ronan, there’s not usually trouble to be had, unless Adam’s talking to his hand. And Adam’s not generally in the habit of talking to his hand, so Ronan figures that’s not what’s on the receiving end of Adam’s admonishment. Plus, if Adam were talking to his hand, Ronan wouldn’t give him trouble for it. Ronan would join in. 

    Avoiding creaky steps, Ronan continues up the stairs, only to stop again after the next thing he hears Adam say. 

    “If I kiss you right now, I won’t be able to stop.” 

    What the fuck?

    There’s no one else in the house. No cars had pulled up in the driveway while Ronan was outside. Ronan is pretty sure he hadn’t dreamt a copy of himself the night before. Was Adam having Sunday morning phone sex while he thought Ronan was out doing his farm work? If he was having phone sex, who was he having phone sex with? If Adam wanted to try phone sex, he could have told Ronan, even though Ronan absolutely can’t fucking stand his phone. Adam definitely hasn’t been shy about asking to try things before, and the stuff he’s suggested has been far kinkier than phone sex. And Adam wouldn’t telephonically cheat on Ronan…

    Giving up on being quiet, Ronan surges up the last few steps and stalks down the hall to the open door of the master bedroom. His fingers have a vise grip on the coffee mug in his hand. There’s just the barest hint of rage that starts to sizzle through him as he gears up for an argument. 

    But Ronan stops dead in his tracks after he rounds the doorframe and steps into his and Adam’s bedroom. 

    Adam isn’t talking to his hand. His phone is still on his bedside table where he’d put it when they’d gone to sleep Saturday night. And there’s no Ronan clone Ronan can see. 

    No, Adam is talking to the nine-week-old Australian Shepherd puppy sitting on top of the duvet piled in his lap. The puppy they’d adopted a week ago. The puppy who is currently covering Adam’s face with sloppy licks while Adam makes kissy noises. The puppy who is not supposed to be on the bed. 

    It’s adorable, but it goes against all the ground rules they’d established around puppy training. 

    When Ronan clears his throat, Adam looks up, wide-eyed, guilty, caught.

    Ronan raises his eyebrows. “Thought we said no Boomerang on the bed.” 

    “You didn’t hear how pitifully she was whining at me from her bed.” Adam buries one hand in Boomerang’s fur, scratching her back as he gestures to the dog bed on the floor next to Adam’s side of the mattress. “I couldn’t just leave her down there.” 

    “She’s never going to learn if you keep giving in every time she whines,” Ronan reminds him, though Adam doesn’t need reminding. He’s the one who did all the research pre-puppy adoption, the one who found a breed fit for their lifestyle, the one who found the rescue they adopted Boomerang from. But Boomerang is also Adam’s first real pet, so Ronan is willing to cut him some slack. 

    “Yeah, I know, but look at this.” Adam picks the puppy up and turns her towards Ronan, holding Boomerang so her face is next to his. “Can you say no to this?” 

    Honestly, Ronan can’t. Not to Adam, his insanely gorgeous husband, with his sleep-messed hair and his collar bone sticking out of the worn neckline of his t-shirt. And definitely not to Boomerang, with her pink and black mottled nose and her icy blue eyes and her droopy ears and her brown, black, and white fur that makes her look at least twice as large as she actually is. Not when this eight-pound ball of fluff already has both of them wrapped around her paw after only being at the Barns for a week. 

    “Nope, I’m rendered powerless,” Ronan answers and crosses the bedroom. He sets the cup of coffee down on the bedside table before sitting down on the edge of the mattress. Taking Boomerang from Adam, Ronan puts her in his own lap and scratches behind her ears as he leans in and kisses Adam. “Against both of you.” 

    Adam smiles broadly before pulling Ronan back in for another kiss, and the three of them spend the rest of Sunday morning in bed. 

[clonemando]

Meeting the Tribe

Din convinces Boba to join him in meeting back up with his Tribe. Boba really doesn't want to but he can't resist his little brother's puppy eyes. AO3 Link

Boba sighed as he and Din entered a rather populated city together. The stares didn't bother him much, no one would be stupid enough to try to take on a pair of Mandalorians together without a full team and even then, he and Din could handle it. Plus if they recognized him and his armor, which by the terror he could feel as they walked slowly towards the market they did, then that was even more incentive to leave them alone. No, he wasn't so much bothered by the place than by the reason they were there.

Din needed to see his people. See who remained of what was once his tribe. Boba understood that. But what he didn't like was that Din insisted he come too.

"Din, I respect your beliefs but I'm not one of them. They won't want me there. I shouldn't know where the covert is located." He had tried to argue but Din had turned big brown puppy dog eyes on him and damn they were even worse when he could actually see them without the helmet in the way.

"You are one of us through me and they will not challenge that. If they do, I'll deal with it. I need to speak with the armorer. There was a lot of Beskar on the cruiser and it should be returned and used for foundlings. Not to mention you could use some repairs. And as part of my clan, you need the signet somewhere on your armor- if that's okay? I know it was your father's. Maybe we can get a new piece made instead…" Din had dissolved into muttering and Boba knew he wouldn't be winning the battle.

So now here they were slowly making their way around twisting and winding roads. Din finally dragged him under an arch and down some stairs and then they were there. Children were running around, all covered with a buy'ce on their heads but none seeming to even notice as they played. Parents watched nearby, eyeing the newcomers warily with the fierce protective streak all Mandalorians shared for children, especially their own. Boba felt like he was intruding and really wanted to leave but Din strode through like he belonged and getting separated seemed like an even worse idea so he kept up.

Even in the dark, in this place Din had never been, it was like he had a map in his mind and they were shortly standing in front of a forge. Din kneeled and Boba hesitated unsurely before following his example while a woman in a gold plated buy'ce made her way around to look at them. Boba knew this must have been the leader of Din's tribe, the armorer he spoke so highly of.

"You have returned. Was your task successful?" She asked Din, completely ignoring Boba's presence and he wanted to feel upset about it but mostly he was grateful.

"It was. The child has been delivered to a Jedi who can train him. He is safe now." He said and Boba wondered if the Armorer could hear the pain in Din's voice as he spoke the way he could.

"Jate. Good. Now tell me why you have brought this dar'manda amongst us?" She said and Boba winced because she said it so calmly. She wasn't even judging him, it was a statement of fact to her. That he existed with no soul. Maybe she was right.

"He is not dar'manda. He was… echoy'la… lost, searching. A foundling of our own kind found by others. Now he has been returned to us. He has been reborn and should be offered cin vhetin." Din said voice sharp as a knife and Boba could admit he didn't recognize all words. His Mando'a was rusty. But he knew Din was defending him.

"I told you I don't belong here, Din. It's fine. Let them call me what they wish. I'm not a child who needs to be coddled." He hissed at him, not sure how to handle being defended. It felt wrong.

The Armor's gaze shifted. "You brought Beskar." She said ignoring their staring contest to look at the container Din had brought with them.

"Yes. The imperials that we fought to get the child to his people had a large amount. It belongs back with our people." Din said setting the container in front of himself and opening it.

The Armorer examined a bar before looking over Din. "Your beskar'gam is still in repair. What do you wish me to make for you? Or shall it all be used for the foundlings?" She asked and Din met her gaze and held it even through their helmets.

"He is part of my clan and requires a signet. His armor is in disrepair and to let my Aliit suffer injury when I have means to protect him would be to break the creed." He said and Boba wanted to growl that he wasn't part of the damn creed or stomp out and leave Din there despite, or maybe because of, how generous he was being.

The Armorer looked between them again and sighed. "You have always had the most stubborn of hearts Djarin. Very well. What will you have me do for your vod?" She asked and Din looked at Boba who was trying to find a way out of this mess that wouldn't offend Din or shit all over how hard he was fighting for him.

"This armor was my father's I don't-" He started his voice coming out less firm that he wanted it to and more pleading. The Armorer seemed to accept that and she backed away, taking the Beskar and starting to work. Boba didn't know what she was doing but he flinched at the loud sound of the hammer feeling confined and on edge. He didn't belong here. He should have told Din no and stayed on the ship.

"Din, go out now. Paz was hoping to speak to you. When you return I will be finished." She ordered and he saw Din hesitate before nodding and leaving. The Armorer finally directed her gaze to Boba and he resisted the urge to squirm like a child. She wasn't Jango about to give him a scolding for sneaking out to play with the other clones. But she definitely had a similar energy to her.

"Boba Fett. Son of Jango Fett. Son of Jaster Mareel who was once Mand'alor. Din Djarin has claimed you as part of his clan and house. Do you know what that means?" She asked and Boba sighed shoulder's slumping despite himself. So he was getting a scolding. Mandalorians had to drag your whole family line into it too.

"We're just brothers. It's not like we're getting married." He grumbled.

"Family is family, no matter position. Love is love no matter the type. Your houses shall be one and the same. Your past will be his past and his your own. That is our way. Cin vhetin… He wishes for you to be given a clear start. Free of what you were before you were Mandalorian. He is offering a soulless being like you a piece of his own so you might join the Manda when you die. That is what it means. If you tarnish and ruin him, I will find you, and nothing you have ever done will compare to the wrath I will let fall upon you. Do you understand?" She said voice still level and calm, but that only made it worse.

"Yes. You are his mother." He said meaning to ask but it came out like a statement. The Armorer looked towards the door.

"They are all my children but the Mandalorian who found Din and raised him here died when Din was still young. To lose his birth family, and then the one who found him, he needed someone who would not fail him again. I claimed him. And now that means I must accept you. Do not let that make you think I like you, however." She said and returned to her work and Boba's head bowed as silence filled the space now, besides the hammering and sounds of her tools.

Boba wanted to be angry. He wanted to hate her for judging him on a life she knew nothing about. He wanted to tell her to stuff it and that this was all a mistake. But mostly he was tired. He found himself wondering instead how his father would like Din. Jango would probably remind Boba that trusting led to betrayal but he wouldn't dislike Din. He might even eventually come around when he saw how good Din was. His lips twitched slightly at the thought of his father arguing with this woman for the right to take Din as his son the way he had heard him argue with the Kaminoans. It would have certainly been a fierce fight.

"Stand." She interrupted his musing and Boba stood looking at what she held out for him trying to identify what the strip of metal would be used for but she didn't wait for him to ask.

"A neck guard." She murmured and fitted it between his helmet and armor and he felt his mouth go dry.

"Oh" Was all he could say and she met his eyes through their helmets.

"Stay still while I place your signet," She asked instead, and Boba was glad she didn't expect him to say anything. When Din returned followed by a hulk of a Mandalorian in blue painted armor, she had finished adding the mudhorn signet to the pauldron that didn't have his mythosaur.

"Boba, Paz will be coming with us when we return to Tatooine. He has some business there." Din said and Boba turned to pierce his gaze right to where he knew Din's eyes were.

"Are you suddenly the one who decides who can come onto my ship to my planet?" He asked in a low growl. Din didn't even flinch though at least Boba knew he wasn't losing his touch because the big guy that must have been Paz tensed. Din could just read him too well.

"I forgot. Oh great and powerful Boba Fett, who rules over Tatooine with a fist of Beskar, I beg of you to humbly allow my pathetic brother Paz to accompany us back to your home." Din said dryly and Boba grinned at the offended. "Hey!" From Paz.

"Hmmm… I suppose, when you ask so nicely, we can arrange to have him loaded in with the rest of the supplies." He said and he could feel the heat of Paz's glare which made him grin. This was more comfortable.

"I always wanted to stuff Paz in a box. Let's go then." Din said leading the way out with Boba and Paz following him. Maybe Boba didn't belong with the tribe, but he definitely knew he belonged with Din. So he'd accept this too.

[phantomphangphucker]

Ectober Day 6: Year - A Warriors Body

The (half)lifestyle Danny (half)lived was bound to affect him in many ways; some more visible than others. He was a fighter after all, and with enough time a fighter is gonna look like one.

Tucker pats Danny as they begin walking to school, “man it’s gonna be so weird being back huh?”. Making Danny chuckle, “tell me about it”, sighing and rubbing his neck, “and what with the lack of classes there’s been so much more time for hunting ‘n stuff. I’m gonna be so jittery just sitting in pointless classes for hours on end”.

Tucker laughs and grins like an idiot, knowing that was an understatement. You’d think the kid would take it easy when given a break, but no. Instead he basically fell face-first into fighting everything. And if there weren’t any fights then he went off training. “You just don’t know how to relax anymore I think”.

“Eh, you might have a point there. Jazz says I’m becoming an adrenaline junkie”.

Tucker gives him another pat and deadpans, “she’s right”.

“Fuck you”.

Tucker just laughs at that before poking Danny’s bicep, “though all your fighting sure has done you some favours”, attempting at flexing himself but just looking kinda ridiculous, “now if only I could pack on muscle that fast! Then the ladies would be all over me!”.

Danny rolls his eyes with a small smile, “you would if you actually did literally any physical activity outside of when you absolutely had to. Plus, you know my body’s more manipulatable”. Which was a blessing and a curse... and also the reason he was going to wear exclusively baggy clothing for the foreseeable future. He’d rather not have the fact that he rather looked like he low-key lived at the gym be on display. After all, he was supposed to be the weak little loser that blended into the background and slacked off; there was no logical reason to an outsider for him to pack on muscle, especially as much as he had. But hey, at least he hadn’t hit a growth spurt on top of it; though that would probably happen sometime in the future. Ugh.

Tucker rolls his eyes and puts his hands behind his head, “still man. You probably look way better naked than me”.

Danny actually pauses on the sidewalk at that and stares at Tucker, “Ancients, you’re such a pervert”. Tucker just looks back and winks at him, making Danny shake his head and start walking again. Smacking Tucker’s stomach as he catches up, “maybe you should focus less on how big your arms are and more on how big your stomach is, Mr. Eats Five Burgers In One Sitting. You’re gonna wind up like my dad... just shorter”.

“Ouch, low blow. But what can I say? All that tasty juicy meat is just begging to be devoured. How can a guy say no to that?”. Tucker digs in his pocket and flips out his PDA, “oh and Sam's still not gonna be back today”.

Danny groans, “great, so first day is gonna be even more shit. Wonderful. And don’t we have gym first block? Zone, the Universe just hates us, huh?”.

Tucker grins, pocketing the device, “like that’s anything new. But hey, at least you probably won’t die this year”, pointing at him, “and you’ve got some bully protection now too”.

Danny quirks a very confused eyebrow, “huh?”. Making Tucker roll his eyes disbelievingly, “dude seriously? There is literally no way you fit in a locker now. Sure your horrible clothing choices-”, tugging on the mustard yellow sweater with a little green puppy pin on the bottom, “-makes you seem small, but Dash isn’t that stupid”, laughing and tilting his head, “sure is close though. As soon as he picks you up he’s gonna notice something’s off, even I know muscle weighs a lot”.

Danny blinks at him, pausing his walking again, “Tuck pal, just how heavy do you think I am? I’m barely a-hundred pounds”. Tucker pokes his arm, “bullshit. I think you need a new scale”.

Danny rolls his eyes, “dude, most of my muscle and stuff is ectoplasm-based. Just my built-up ectoplasm storing itself overtop of my bones and fleshy muscle. And ecto’s weightless, remember? Heck, it can be anti-weight or whatever; me having more ecto muscle makes me weigh less not more”. Tucker blinks, “huh, didn’t think of it like that”, and decides what the heck and promptly wraps his arms around Danny to lift him up. Easily noting that yeah, Danny really doesn’t weigh much. A-hundred might even be being generous.

Danny shoves him off as Tucker puts him back on the ground, “so ha, no Dash won’t notice”, looking at the ground a little worriedly, “though yeah, I probably won’t fit in a locker anymore. Maybe I could...”, glancing at his arm before shaking his head, “hmmmm yeah no, that’d just make me look fat”.

Tucker chuckles, “what? Trying to redistribute the ecto? Hate to break it to ya, but you’ve got way too much to be a skinny twig again”.

“Hey”.

Tucker points over his shoulder at the school, “it’s true and you know it. And it’s not like I was any better”, both of them chuckle at that before Tucker continues, “anyway, welcome back to Hell I guess. Ready for another year of suffering and Highschool inequality”.

Danny snorts, “and suitably started off by the worst class of all, which will probably involve both of us getting rubber balls to the face”. Tucker just snorts right back as they climb the steps to the doors that both of them kinda wanted to never see again. Especially Danny, not like he was ever going to actually need or make use of the crap the teachers shoved down their throats here. If he was more of a delinquent then he’d just drop out here and now.

But hey, at least the whole quartets lockers -yes, even Valerie’s- were all together this year. Small miracles.

Danny groans as the two boys push in the gymnasium doors, making a be-line for the locker room and hoping to continue successfully avoiding the entirety of the football team. At least in the locker room they wouldn’t be total jackasses, since they had some weird level of respect for the ‘sacredness’ of the locker room. Probably some weird sports guy thing.

Pushing? Fine. Ass slapping? For some reason, fine. Hiding someone’s clothes? Sometimes fine. But actually shoving someone into lockers, or giving someone a swirly in the locker room bathroom, or actually wrecking the gym clothes? Off-limits; and messing with the showers was only cool if someone was taking waaaaaay too long. It was weird but hey, at least it made the locker room something of a semi-safe zone. So long as you were cool getting mocked for changing in the showers or out in front of everyone. Chance to show off for the jocks, chance to get mocked for everyone else.

Tucker chills against the wall, waiting on Danny who always took stupid long to change. Dude had bandaging and scars to cover after all. Whistling and inspecting his nails, being the only one still actually in here besides Danny; as per usual. It was kinda weird, felt like they had just finished freshman year days ago and yet here they were again. Back in the same routine. Danny’s voice breaks through his thoughts, “uh, I think we -or more so I- might have a slight problem”.

Tucker sighs, at least Danny’s tone wasn’t serious which meant less ‘danger/ghost fight incoming’ and more ‘mild inconvenience or some general halfa weirdness’, “what?”.

Danny gives a very awkward chuckle, stepping out and holding his arms out to the side before looking down at his shirt, “I may have updated my wardrobe, but I think I may have forgotten something”.

Tucker blinks before sputtering and laughing, bending over a bit to wheeze, “dude, haha, that so doesn’t fit you anymore!”. Tucker absolutely forgot that Mrs. Testlauf was super serious about wearing fitting clothes, pretty sure Danny had too. She always went off about how it ‘showed the value and worth of a person and their progress’ course she’d always add on ‘and shows who the weak pipsqueaks are’. Laughing some more, “how did you even get that on? I get that the underaumour is, like, super-duper stretchy, but the shirt? Looks like it’s gonna burst apart at the seams!”.

Danny huffs, “again, more manipulatable. I’m ‘squishy’ remember?”, and crosses his arms. Both of them still and stare at the air at the sound of ripping; proving Tucker right.

Tucker falls on his ass laughing after a beat, “guess you have to ask for a new one now! Ha! Testlauf’s gonna be pissed”.

“Fuck you man”, Danny starts laughing himself though and glances around before just phasing off the shirt; yeah, he wrecked the sleeves. Stupid Testlauf and her stupid ‘wear your proper sizes or it’ll be detention for the rest of your life’ rule. Least the shorts were supposed to be a bit loose, not that they currently were.

Both boys’ jump a little at hearing a rather masculine female voice shout, “where the Zone is Fenton and Foley! Those two slackers better get their butts out here! Or they’ll be running laps all class!”. Danny and Tucker both panic a little at that, and justifiably so because talk about harsh. Promptly bolting out of the locker room, Danny with his ruined shirt in hand.

Unfortunately, though obviously, everyone is pretty much staring at them as they run out. Most looking to be partway through rolling their eyes but stop. Dash -because of course Danny would get stuck having gym with Dash- is the one to actually point shit out though, “Fenton? What the Hell happened to you?!?”.

Danny quirks an eyebrow, “huh?”, while walking over to Testlauf and speaking rather awkwardly, “I, uh, need a new gym shirt”.

Testlauf blinks, “like Hell you do”, and snatches the shirt. Holding it up and looking from it to the boy, clearly seeing that it’s torn and stretched out. Then giving Danny an almost happy appraising look, “well I’ll be, Fenton, so you do”, and gives him a clap on the arm that is absolutely a pleased one.

Danny blinks, confused, and looks to Tucker, who also looks confused, “what the Zone is happening here?”.

Todd blurts out, “what do you think? You have a bloody six-pack and the arms of an ox. Did you take steroids or something?”.

Danny and Tucker blink, then look to Danny’s chest. Danny instantly blushing a bit and attempting to cover up, belatedly remembering that Testlauf actually took the shirt, “uhhhh. No?”. Tucker has to turn away from everyone to laugh at Danny’s expense. Danny shoves him over for that; Tucker just lays on the ground laughing, not bothering to get up.

Testlauf tosses a larger shirt at him, “get that on and let’s see what you can do with those new muscles. Glad to see you ain’t no bloody wimp anymore”, huffing to herself as she walks off to get the balls, “to see youths shaping up, nothing makes me prouder. I couldn’t give a damn how he did it, kid’s not the type to go to unhealthy measures”. Danny, actually being able to hear her, blushes a little.

In the meantime, all Danny’s fellow classmates rush up and start trying to poke at him. He, of course, bats them off erratically; Tucker springing up to also try shooing people off from his best friend. The fact that Danny’s shirt is still practically skin-tight honestly doesn’t help; less so than the underarmour at least.

Dash scowls at Danny, while aggressively snatching up a ball, “seriously, the goddamn Zone Fenton. Weaklings ain’t supposed to bulk up”.

Danny glances from side to side before steeling his expression and meeting the bully's eyes, effectively deciding screw it, “not my fault you were too busy stuffing me into things to notice things were changing”.

Jesse blinks at him while joining the side Danny’s on, “so wait, you’ve been working out or some shit for a while and straight up no one noticed?”.

Danny shrugs, “it’s also not my fault no one cares to really pay attention to me and besides, I like being left alone”.

Testlauf blows her whistle, which of course results in Dash instantaneously whipping a ball straight at Danny. Which again, makes Danny decide fuck it, and just catches the ball nonchalantly. Dash scowls as Danny smirks, Dash walking off to the side.

Everyone on Dash’s side pauses for a second and glance at each other, before all silently agreeing to bombard the boy. Todd speaking while whipping a ball at him just like everyone else, “so this is why you always wear such baggy clothes huh? Can’t say I understand why or how though!”.

Danny just choosing to dodge with a sidestep this time, “because you people are dicks honestly. And my mom’s a black belt and knows more fighting styles than I can shake a stick at. How the Zone do you think?!?”. More than a couple nod to themselves while running around throwing and dodging.

Mikey, who just so happens to be trying to hide behind him, readjusts his glasses, “and don’t they want you to be a hunter like them? That’s a pretty physical job”. Emily shouting, “and Jack has totally tossed an RV through a wall before! So packing on muscle easily must be in your DNA!”. Danny isn’t about to argue against that, that might actually have something to do with it after all. Even if it was more his ghost halfs fault.

The rest of the game devolves from there, becoming more wild throwing and teenage shrieking than pestering Danny. Which Danny’s perfectly content with, though that results in someone getting practically thrown into him after getting blown back by a ball to the stomach. Which then results in Danny getting flipped over and throwing his ball way harder than he meant to. The entire gym pauses at the ball hitting the back wall and actually cracking the fake brick a bit.

Tucker bends over wheezing with laughter from the sidelines, looks like someone might have gotten a little too used to chucking round -though usually glowing- balls at beings that could handle being rammed by semi’s. Least he didn’t hit anyone and break their arm!

Danny blinks at the wall, “heh heh, whoops”. The few people still remaining on the other side honestly just look impressed rather than the more reasonable reaction, which would be fear and concern for their own safety; but Amity Park and CasperHigh were crazy like that though.

Mrs. Testlauf blows her whistle, “at that I think it’s a good time to wrap this up, before Fenton murders someone”, Danny rubs his neck at that while she points at him and continues, “learn self-control boy, these walls see enough damage as it is”. Which gets quite a few people to start snickering at his expense; Danny just nods awkwardly and blushes a bit. Learning self-control was generally pretty high on Danny’s priority list as it was.

Tucker snickers at him as everyone goes to clean up, “guess someones gotta relearn they’re surrounded by meek little regular old humans huh”, with a cheeky grin plastered on his face. Danny smashes his face into the wall, not hard enough to do actual damage though, “shut up, Tuck”; making a few people around chuckle.

Tucker grumbles a fake, “ow”, as he pulls his face off the wall after Danny let’s go of his head. Then turning to him and smirking meanly, pulling out his PDA. Danny eyes it and Tucker’s grin, “oh don’t you dare”.

“You started it”, and jabs him with the device, giving him a mild electrical shock.

A couple other teens blink and watch the two boys pretty much beat each other up slightly. Emily muttering, “I think I don’t actually want to know what the Zone the defect quartet gets up to in their spare time”.

Todd snorts, “you’re just weak”. She glares back at him, “I don’t hear you asking”. He waves her off, “now why would I waste my precious energy on that”, earning a few snorts from the rest of the class just as the bell goes off.

Jesse runs up to Danny as everyone’s walking to leave, pulling at the ugly yellow sweater, “what I don’t get, is why you dress like such shit if you've got it going on under there”. Danny shrugs, “just don’t care”, he did care, he cared that people didn’t notice literally any of his weirdness. But obviously that wasn’t working out here. Especially with Dash giving him a weird look and clearly choosing to not go and bug Danny. But maybe, judging by how no one really seemed to care beyond being impressed and he had had fun, maybe that didn’t matter.

After all, it had been a year since he died. Since he started fighting day and night practically every other waking moment. Since he started Highschool. Things had changed. He had. And try as he might, people were going to notice that. He wasn’t that same kid anymore. The little living weak wallflower Danny Fenton didn’t exist anymore, and there really was no point in trying to pretend that he did.

End.

[hollyxqx]

lover, leaver  //  jimin  // 02

↪ PAIRING: Reader/Park Jimin (initally reader/Jungkook) ↪ SUMMARY: There’s only so much cheating you can take from your boyfriend when he’s on tour before you take matters in to your own hands. ↪ WORD COUNT: 8.2k 

↪ WARNINGS: lots of infidelity | substance (alcohol & drugs) abuse | heavy angst | filthy sex don’t ever show my parents | characters are quite flawed (who isn’t) | rockstar!jungkook | soft artist!jimin

01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | FINAL

Despite the uneasy feeling that gnaws away at your gut, you have a nice time with Jungkook and the boys. They drink a lot at the after party - held in an exclusive rock and roll bar that's adorned with records on the walls and pictures of some of its famous guests. Jungkook is at your side all night but you don't fail to notice the girls that hover around.

Hoseok ensures everyone gets back to the hotel in one piece and you're pleased all the boys go to bed alone. Jungkook's already kissing the back of your neck as you try to unlock the room door, since you're the more sober one of the two of you.

"Jungkook," You squirm away from him. "We're too drunk."

"Nuh-uh." He's tugging off his clothes and you're almost impressed at how fast he's able to strip down to his boxers, a very obvious bulge forming already. He manoeuvres the two of you to the bed as best he can in this state. "I need you."

As he hovers over you, pressing his hardness into you, you can't stop the images of Namjoon in that girl flashing in your mind, except the more you think about the more you realise it isn't Namjoon's face you're picturing it's Jungkook's.

"Baby, why are you crying?" He asks, looking at you, tilting his head like a puppy. You hadn't even realised you had been. The alcohol had definitely lowered your inhibitions. He wipes away a tear with a thumb.

"Sorry," You mumble.

"Do you want me to stop?" He asks. "Is it me?"

You don't want him to stop. You want him to desire you like Jimin does. You want him to want you and nobody else. You want to prove to him he doesn't need anyone else but you. "No." You whimper.

Jungkook gives you a moment before he continues. It doesn't take long for him to be thrusting into you, lips attacking your neck. Jungkook cums but you don't, unable to get into that headspace. If he notices he doesn't say anything. Instead he just rolls over next to you. You mentally note that's the first time you've ever not reached your peak during sex with him. It feels unusual.

"Love you baby," Falls sleepily from his lips.

"Jungkook?" You ask, hoping he isn't unconscious yet. He hums next to you in acknowledgement. "What if Namjoon had had sex with that girl?"

"You want to talk about that now?" He groans. "So fucking what if he did? I told you not to worry about it. Besides it was just a blowjob."

"That's what you said before." You sigh.

"Baby," Jungkook sits up on one elbow to look at you, using his free hand to turn your face towards his. "If Namjoon wants to act like an idiot, let him. Don't waste time worrying about him."

"I worry about you." You say just above a whisper.

"You don't need to. You're the only girl I want."

He kisses you one more time before pulling you into his arms again. Sleep evades you for an unmeasurable amount of time, the lie your boyfriend told you on loop in your head.

***

The next morning at breakfast Namjoon can barely make eye contact with you. He has bags under his eyes, his skin is sallow and he's unshaven. Jungkook mutters to you that Namjoon is coming down from god knows what he took the night before. He's quiet as he eats.

Jungkook rests a hand on yoru knee as the two of you enjoy your own breakfast. Your mind wanders to Jimin, wondering what he's up to. Korea is eight hours ahead, so by now he's probably finishing work. Sometimes you think about how you'd feel if you found out Jimin was dating. The thought doesn't sting like it does with Jungkook but it doesn't exactly make you want to jump for joy either.

Your eyes flitter to your boyfriend. On the outside he's still the same Jungkook you'd always known and grown to love. He has more tattoos, longer hair and physically he's as big as he's ever been but more or less it's him. On the inside is a different story.

He's more famous now than when you met. With that came lots of good things - money, success, respect - but also some bad. Jungkook always had an addictive personality and having unlimited access to alcohol, drugs and women isn't good for someone like him. You weren't surprised when he indulged, however much it pained you.

When you first got together he was sweet, always playful and always making you laugh. He still has those elements but the toll of the other things are wearing on you. You love him, so you stay but if you're truly honest with yourself you don't know how long love can keep you afloat.

"What time is your flight again? I want to take you to the airport." Jungkook asks, breaking your train of concentration.

"9pm." You answer.

"Okay, well until then I'm spending as much time with my girl as possible."

***

You're so busy with studying for the exam you have in a few days that it takes Jimin banging on your front door as well as calling your phone to get your attention. As soon as you'd arrived back in Korea you had dove straight back in to your routine to make up for the few days you'd been away.

"What are you doing here?" You ask as the two of you stand facing each other. Another steadfast rule you had for hooking up with Jimin was to never fool around at your place.

"I haven't heard from you since you got back." Is all Jimin says.

"I've been busy, I'm sorry. I've got exams soon, so all I've been doing is studying."

"Have you eaten?" He asks, throwing you off guard.

"Uh, no."

"You can keep studying or doing whatever you need to do and I'll cook for you." He says pragmatically. "I won't get in your way."

"What? Jimin you don't have to. I'm busy and you'll be bored."

"Trust me I won't be. I just wanted to hang out with you."

You're a mixture of bewildered and astonished as you let him into your apartment. The fact that that he wants to do something for you with no ulterior motive is unexpected, but you're tired and could use a break. Plus you recall how well he can cook.

Jimin is more than familiar with the layout of your home and heads straight to the kitchen, meanwhile you resume your place on the sofa surrounded by scattered papers and books. "What are you making me?" You call out, peeking a glimpse at him through the breakfast bar.

"It's a surprise." He gives you a grin before resuming before getting started. As you try to concentrate you find yourself unable to, the sounds of pots and cutlery clanging in the kitchen. You bite back a smile thinking about what he might prepare.

Thirty minutes later Jimin is walking in to the room, a bowl in each hand. "I did my best with what you have, but the cupboards are pretty bare."

"Yeah we eat takeout a lot." You admit. He places the dishes down on the coffee table and sits cross legged ready to eat. "Aw Jimin, this looks amazing."

It's simple ramyeon but Jimin has added some pork, an egg and spring onion and god knows what else that's making it smell amazing. "Eat." He insists. You get up from the couch and join him on the floor.

"Thank you." You say gently, touching his arm briefly. He shrugs.

"I like cooking. I like you. It's no big deal."

"You're the kind of guy people write books about Park Jimin." You joke, slurping your noodles. He blushes adorably.

After the meal is finished he washes the dishes and you can't quite believe he's going out of his way like this. Just for you. You, who is unavailable, dating his friend and generally just not good enough for someone this sweet. When he's done he joins you once more, except this time on the sofa. His arm slides along the back of the cushion behind your back.

"Have you got a lot of work left?" He asks.

"I'm ready for a study break." You tell him, stretching forward to dump the books on the table. Jimin shifts closer when you lean back, thoroughly in his arms at this point. A hand slowly caresses your face, his thumb brushes the spot on your neck where Jungkook left a hickey in London and you can't help but flinch a little.

"How was London?" He asks quietly.

"A disaster." You tell him. He raises his eyebrows in surprise. "I caught Namjoon... with a girl. He got pissed with me, Jungkook got pissed with me for being upset. Let's just say I'm happy I'm home."

"Why was Jungkook mad at you for that?"

"He doesn't think it was a big deal." You sigh, Jungkook's words echoing in your mind. "Jungkook basically said it doesn't count because it was a fucking blowjob." You snort.

"What? How can it not be? Namjoon has a girlfriend."

In that moment you feel so fond for Jimin it overwhelms you for a second. Maybe it's because Jimin is older, more settled that you share the same view. "Yeah, I know. She's nice too."

"Sorry you had to witness that."

"Jimin," You say tentatively after a moment. "I'm not stupid, I know Jungkook does stuff like that too while he's away."

Jimin gulps and says dryly - "Yeah."

"Do you have anyone that you date or see? Obviously it's completely ok and I'm not upset but I was just wonder-"

"No." He interjects your rambling.

"Jimin, seriously it's ok if you do." You coax.

"I know." He stresses. "But it's the truth. I don't."

"Why?" You ask and he shrugs again. "You deserve to have someone."

Jimin sighs. "I have you."

The shame and remorse of your current situation threatens to consume you and try your best to fight it. Hearing those words from him makes it hard not to feel as if you're stringing him along, especially when the two of you act like you're in a relationship. Once again you ignore those ugly feelings and press your lips to his. His mouth welcomes yours gladly and he parts his lips as your tongue darts inside.

One hand moves smoothly up his chest to his neck before settling in the thick strands of his hair. Your fingernails scratch at his nape, something you've learned from experience Jimin loves. He lets out a breathy moan as he drags your bottom lip between his teeth. "I really didn't come here for this." He exhales in a deep breathy tone.

"Hmm," Is all you say, attaching yourself to his lips once more. As you kiss you gently nudge him so he's leaning back, lean body pressed into the cushion. He watches you with intent as you slip down on to the floor, kneeling between his legs. "Maybe I just wanna make you feel good."

"As if I would say no." He says with a half cocked smile.

You push his shirt up and relish in how his stomach tenses as you plant soft kisses on his abdomen. You work your way up to his nipple, tongue slipping over the pink bud. Once again you use your nails, dragging them down his sides. He sucks a sharp intake of breath at the contact. You move to his other untouched nipple, running a tongue over it, except this time you suck harder. He jolts underneath you. You really do enjoy the way he reacts to your touch.

Hands make quick work of his clothing, Jimin helps by lifting his hips up so you can push his jeans down. You pepper kisses on his neck as you stroke his half hard cock through his boxers. What his cock lacks in length it more than makes up for in girth, and you grip it in your small hand feeling it grow fully hard. His eyes meet yours as you work him, if you didn't know better you would think he looks awe-struck.

"I wanna suck your cock Jimin." You whisper huskily in his ear, lips touching the skin there. "Please?"

A breathy wine escapes him as he nods. "Fuck yeah."

You resume your original position on your knees as you gently peel away his underwear to free his hard cock. You can't help but lick your lips at the sight of it. You grip the base of him as you run a tongue up the underside of his shaft, all the way to the tip where you swirl your tongue around the engorged head. A spurt of precum leaks out at the contact. Jimin moans.

You love to tease but you don't want to waste anymore time. You slowly let a glob of spit drip from your mouth to his cock, getting it nice and wet for your mouth before you engulf the head of him fully. "Fuck." He whispers at the sight of you inching him in bit by bit.

Slowly, you start to suck and lick as you bob your head. Jimin's thighs tense and he fists the couch cushion beneath him. When you deep throat him fully he moans loudly and throws his head back. You fight the urge to smirk.

"So fucking good little butterfly." He groans. "So pretty with my dick in your mouth."

Your hands find his and you guide them to the back of your head. He easily gets the hint and pushes your head down so you gag a little, groaning at the sensation of his cock hitting the back of your throat. Even you can't help but moan a little at him being rough with you.

Jimin fucks your face faster, grip tightening in your hair. "Fuck, fuck, fuck." He gasps in time with his hip thrusts. You know he's close. Your cheeks hollow as you go for one final push, sucking as hard as you can. "Y/N - Y/N - I'm gonna cum."

His hips jolt off the sofa as he cums down the back of your throat. He lets out a guttural sound that comes from his chest before collapsing, spent. You swallow what he gave you, sucking around his cock to get anything you missed. Your eyes meet again and his plump lips are still hanging open, slack with pleasure. He looks completely and utterly satisfied. His lips curve into a dreamy smile and he lets out a breathy laugh. "God, you're amazing."

You almost want to take a picture to show Jungkook that yes, blow jobs are a big deal.

***

Jimin stays a few more hours but he doesn't stay the night. It's unspoken between you that it would be inappropriate for him to sleep in the bed you share with Jungkook. Even adulterers have to draw the line somewhere.

You're studying when you receive a text from Hyerin. The message makes your heart sink so low you feel as if it's reached the floor beneath your feet.

from kim hyerin: hi babe, how was london? I really need to talk to you. It's about namjoon. Call me!!!

Your thumb hesitates over the green call button. You want to call her, it sounds like she needs someone to talk to but you also don't want to lie. You've done enough of that over the last few months, your conscience can't handle anymore. Fate, however decides for you.

"Hey." You answer Hyerin's phone call after three rings. "How are you? Everything alright?"

"Y/N, hey. Yeah I'm good." Hyerin sounds anything but. "Things aren't alright, no."

"Talk. Tell me. Tell me everything."

Hyerin takes a deep breath. "I haven't heard from Namjoon since you went to London. He's avoiding me."

"What?"

"That's not all." She sighs. "I think I might be pregnant."

"Oh my god." You gasp. That - you had not seen coming. Namjoon and Hyerin had not been dating very long at all, there is no way they would have planned this. Naturally you assume they were just being as reckless as you had with Jimin. "That is...a lot to take in in just a few seconds."

"I'm trying not to freak out y/n but it's hard."

"Ok, ok. Don't freak out." You instruct. You take a moment to gather your thoughts, trying to formulate some kind of solution for your friend. "First of all, have you taken a test?"

"No."

"Okay that's number one on the list. Secondly, did you and Namjoon fight? Maybe he lost his phone?"

"No, we didn't fight. The last conversation we had was...weird though. He was being evasive and distant which isn't like him." She explains. You can't help but feel responsible. If you knew Namjoon like you thought you did he was feeling guilty and paranoid that you'd told Hyerin what you caught him doing. "Have you heard from Jungkook?"

"Yeah." You say quietly.

"Fuck. I think something's happened. I think he's cheated on me. Why else would he be acting like this?"

"You don't know that for sure." You assure feeling like the worst person in the world. "Let me speak to Jungkook and see if I can figure out what's going on with him."

"Thank you." Hyerin lets out a shaky breath.

You say your goodbye's - thankful you can use studying as an excuse - and hang up. You hadn't meant to be untruthful and you feel shitty. You're not sure whether or not you'll actually bring up the topic to Jungkook knowing he'll only chastise you for getting involved in someone else's relationship. With a sigh you get ready for bed, wanting to forget the world for a few hours.

***

You somehow find yourself confiding in Jimin two days later. It feels right, like it makes sense. He knows both Namjoon and Hyerin, he knows Namjoon cheated and he's easy to talk to because of his calm demeanour. It just happens before you can think about it.

"Honestly?" He runs a hand through his hair as he lays shirtless on his bed. You haven't had sex, the two of you have just been lounging around at his place after work. "I'd try and just be there for her. If you tell her about Namjoon she might direct that anger at you and you don't deserve that."

"I never thought about that." You muse. "I hope she takes that pregnancy test soon."

"Namjoon is not ready to be a father."

"You are right about that." You sigh. "I feel crappy. I'm a bad person."

"Come here." Jimin demands. He holds his arms open for you and you move from your cross legged position at the foot of the bed into his embrace. His soft, bare skin always feels so nice. "You're not bad. It's a bad situation."

"They're back in two days, Namjoon is going to have to see her." His grip tightens at your mention of Jungkook returning because then he knows he can't have you anymore. "Anyway, enough about that. I need a break. Tell me how work is going."

"Good. I've got a few projects commissioned this week." He was an artist, a painter and from what you had seen Jimin was extremely talented. "A client asked me to paint their daschund. In a bow tie and top hat." He laughs. "It instantly made me think of you."

"Oh my god." You laughed. "I need to see this when it's finished."

"I'll bring you to my studio when it's done."

"More people need to dress their pets in formal wear." You say and he laughs. The two of you fall quiet. Jimin strokes your hair and you end up falling asleep on him.

***

"What is this?" Jungkook is smiling like a cheshire cat as he lifts up a piece of black, lacy, transparent material. It's hooked on his forefinger as he wiggles it at you, eyebrows raising in question. Your heart hammers in your chest as you realise he's holding the lingerie you bought for Jimin. You curse yourself for not hiding it before he returned from tour.

At least it was clean.

"I-It's underwear." You stammer.

"I know that." Jungkook rolls his eyes. "It's new. You get this to wear for me?"

"It was supposed to be a surprise." You lie, snatching the flimsy material from him, marching back to the dressing table where you sat getting ready. You throw it in a random draw.

"Well I'm ready to be surprised whenever you want baby." He walks over to the closet you share to select some clothes. Tonight you're going to dinner with everyone to celebrate Yoongi's birthday. You're anticipating Jimin being there and it's creating a bubble of nerves in your stomach. "Maybe you should wear it under your dress tonight."

"Maybe." You hum with no intention of doing that. Somehow it feels wrong.

"Maybe if you do I won't be able to control myself and fuck you in the restaurant bathroom."

"Yoongi would love that."

You both finish getting ready, you in a black dress that shows off your curves and Jungkook in a black leather jacket with a black vest that dips low enough to show off his tattoos. Even you can see that you look good together. He drives you both to the restaurant. You're happy because it means he'll stay sober.

When you arrive it's only Jimin and Namjoon at the table, everyone else appears to be running late. Hyerin is nowhere to be found. Talk about awkward. You greet them both as normally as you can, although Namjoon's eyes skirt your gaze. You sit opposite Jimin as Jungkook slings a protective arm over the back of your chair.

"Hyerin's not coming?" You ask Namjoon. You're assuming they're still together - you haven't heard from her - so you act innocent.

"Uh, no." He coughs. "She's working."

"Ah."

Before any awkward tension can truly take hold Jungkook speaks. "Yah, Jimin-hyung, is no one coming with you?"

"No." Jimin replies curtly.

"One day, if you're really lucky you'll get a girl drunk enough to want you." Jungkook teases. You slap him on the chest.

"Hey! Don't be rude." You scold, shooting Jimin apologetic eyes.

"He knows I'm joking."

"The joke didn't bother me the first time he told it. It certainly doesn't bother me the 500th time." Jimin mutters. Jungkook just grins.

Yoongi arrives as if on cue, Seokjin, Hoseok and a girl you've never met before in tow. She's introduced to you as Lisa and described as a 'friend' of Yoongi's. You know that means she's just the flavour of the month, however she seems pleasant enough.

The conversation flows much more naturally now that more people have joined in. You all order your food and wait for it to arrive. As the waitress brings the food to the table you notice her place a beer in front of Jungkook. "You're driving." You utter under your breath at him but he rolls his eyes.

"It's just beer, babe."

You ignore him and continue eating. He uses your silence as an opportunity to fall into conversation with Yoongi about some track they're producing. Your eyes drift to Jimin at the same time as he looks up from his plate. He smiles.

"Is your dog painting finished yet?" You ask before you can stop yourself. You're allowed to talk to Jimin but you always feel guilty doing so, like Jungkook will realise if you so much as exchange more than polite hello's.

Jimin shakes his head. "Not yet. Almost."

Next to you Jungkook is ordering another round of drinks. He offers the table but only you and Jimin decline. You feel silly, you should have anticipated that Jungkook didn't need a lot of convincing to get drunk. You sigh as you realise this means you'll have to drive home tonight. Jimin looks at you with knowing eyes as if he can read your mind.

Jungkook arranged earlier for Yoongi to have a birthday cake. He must have conspired with the restaurant because the cake that arrives is clearly for a toddler and it causes him to roar with laughter. Yoongi just shakes his head with a grin.

By the time the cake is cut and eaten you can tell the boys are tipsy. They're getting louder with each conversation and you're trying not to get irritated by it. "Baby," Jungkook says, voice already a little slurry. "We're all going to a bar, you coming?"

"Jungkook, your car." You remind him.

"So? You're sober. You can take it. Or you can do some shots with me." He quirks a brow at you, hand sliding him your thigh. It disappears beneath the hem of your dress. He always gets so handsy when he's drunk.

"You should come, y/n. I need another sober person to help me with these idiots." Jimin's voice interrupts your interaction with Jungkook. You look between him and Jungkook, sighing.

"Fine."

"Yes!" Jungkook cheers and plants a sloppy kiss on your lips while Jimin looks away awkwardly.

***

The bar seems even louder when you're sober. You sip on a lemonade, next to Jimin in the booth. Yoongi and his girlfriend are talking so closely and intimately you almost feel a little jealous, wishing Jungkook wanted to be doing that with you. He's at the bar with Namjoon doing shots. They're talking to a group of people and you notice there's a blonde getting very cosy next to Jungkook.

"I want to go home." You say through gritted teeth to Jimin. He follows your gaze and even over the background music and people talking you hear him sigh.

"I know. Me too." He squeezes your thigh affectionately under the table. Not that Yoongi would have noticed anyway.

"Jungkook is being an ass tonight."

"I know. I'm sorry."

It's almost as if Jungkook is still in 'tour' mode you think, wild and partying. You used to enjoy going out with him in the early days - the days before you knew about the women - but now it leaves you feeling a pit in your stomach. You turn away from Jimin to find Jungkook has disappeared. So has the blonde. And you don't know how long it's been.

"Fuck," You mumble, a coil of dread beginning to stir in your stomach. "He's disappeared Jimin. I'm going to go look for him."

Jimin lets you slip out of the booth and you storm over to Namjoon. A hand reaches out to harshly grip his shoulder, literally tearing him from his conversation. Namjoon looks half stunned, half annoyed. "Where is he?" You demand.

"I dunno." Namjoon shrugs, giving you an agitated look. "Bathroom I think."

Your heart is hammering in your chest as you stalk off to the bathroom, weaving through the various patrons. You locate the door marked 'Toilets' and enter to be faced with your worst nightmare. In the foyer that separates the men's and women's bathrooms there's Jungkook and he's not alone.

His back is against the wall (although he's swaying on his feet because he's wasted) and the blonde from earlier is attached to his neck, one hand already fumbling with his button. There's a drowsy smile on his face.

"Jungkook," You choke out. He's so drunk it takes a minute for him to register you standing there. The instant he does he literally shoves the blonde off of him. She stumbles, a confused look on her face. The fact that she's not even that pretty stings. "Really? While I'm here? While you're home?"

The tears are welling instantly. It's one thing him fucking around in another city, country, continent - you can detach yourself from it. But right infront of your eyes is a different story. "Baby, it's not what it looks like."

"Your fly is undone." You spit. He has the decency to look ashamed of himself as he fumbles with the zipper, doing it back up. "I'm fucking leaving."

You turn on your heel, ignoring him calling your name. Tears are running down your face but you don't care. You blaze past Namjoon again on your way back to the table. The instant Jimin spots your face his features soften, knowing what's happened without you even having to say it.

"Jimin, I'm going home." You sob barely able to get the words out.

"Let me take you." He offers.

"What about them?" You gesture vaguely to Yoongi and Lisa.

"I don't care, they can find their own way home."

Jimin walks you out of the bar and arm on the small of your back. You look over your shoulder to see Jungkook watching you leave.

***

By the time you arrive at Jimin's house you've stopped crying, but the anger hasn't left you. Neither of you had said a word on the drive over, though occasionally he would shoot you a worried glance. You numbly follow him inside and before you can decide which room you want to face plant and scream into a pillow in, Jimin is wrapping you in his arms. You bury your face in his chest.

"I'm so glad I have you Jimin." You mumble.

"Come on," He says as you pull away. "Lets sit."

He pushes you to the living room and you flop onto the sofa. Jimin sits next to you and grabs your hand. "What happens now?" You ask.

"What do you mean?"

"What do I do now? I've always know he fucked around. He never used to do it at home, let alone while I'm there. How am I supposed to go back to that?"

Jimin lets out a heavy sigh as he stares at your joined hands. "You don't have to go back. That's an option too." He says in a small voice.

"I do, I live with him."

"I mean to him. Not to your house."

Your quiet for a few heavy moments as you let Jimin's words sink in. You've never really thought about actually being with Jimin, you were too focused on fixing Jungkook. This entire tryst started out of retribution to your boyfriend's infidelity. It was only recently, when you had grown more comfortable with Jimin that the dynamic had started to shift.

"I never understood why you go back." Jimin speaks again when you don't reply.

"I love him."

"Do you?"

"Yes." You say but even you can tell how unsure your voice sounds. Jimin lets out yet another sigh as he stands up. Thankfully he drops the subject.

"Do you want to stay here tonight to cool off?" He asks.

"Please."

Your phone rings as you traipse to his bedroom with him. The caller ID is exactly who you feared it might be. Jungkook. Jimin peers at you as you silence the call. "You're not going to answer?" You shake your head no. The calls continue as Jimin searches for a shirt for you to sleep in. He turns around to hand it to you, watching as you strip to your underwear.

"Jimin," You exhale as you press into him wrapping your arms around his neck. Your lips meet in a heated kiss as his hands snake around to your bare waist. You press your body in to him as he cups your ask. Your intentions are clear, you want him, need him in this moment. But to your surprise he pulls away.

"Do you actually want me or are you just mad at him?" He presses his forehead against yours and your noses touch.

"I want you." You breathe.

"I can't do this if you don't want me."

"Right now Jimin I need you."

He walks you backwards to the bed, undoing your bra as he goes, tossing it unceremoniously away. His eyes are fixated on your breasts as you lean back on the mattress and kick off your own panties. His clothes follow and join your heap on the floor.

You take two of his fingers in your mouth, slickening them with your saliva. Jimin gets the hint and presses them inside of you while his pink tongue swirls over one nipple. Your phone rings again and it seems to only encourage the man, fingers fucking into you faster like he has something to prove to Jungkook.

A thumb rubs your clit and the combination of fingers and tongue have you cumming quickly, your ringing phone long forgotten. "Ride me, butterfly. Show me how much you need me." He whispers, hot breath tickling your ear.

He situates himself by the headboard and beckons you to him. You sink down on his length slowly and his mouth is everywhere, your breasts, collarbone, neck - it's like he can't get enough of you. You rock your hips against him, gripping the headboard to stabilize you. "Jimminie, you're so perfect." You whine. You don't just mean the sex either.

He spanks your ass with one hand and grips it tightly, groaning. "I love watching you like this." He pants as he rolls the two of you over. "But I want to make you cum again."

You're on your back in seconds and he drives into you with such force the headboard is thumping off the wall. His neighbours must hate it when you're over. "Fuck Jimin." You moan, feeling another orgasm looming. "Don't stop."

He rests back on his haunches, the new angle has you seeing stars. "I'm going to cum in you, butterfly." He grunted. You didn't say anything as you rubbed your clit, too angry at Jungkook to care. "I'm close. So close. God I love seeing you get fucked by me. I fucking love you." You barely hear the words as your orgasm takes over, thighs trembling around Jimin's narrow hips. "Fuck, I'm cum - I'm cumming. Cum with me beautiful."

He bottoms out letting out a heavy breath as he slows his thrusting to a stop. As your brain starts to re-enter a semi normal state your stomach lurches at his confession. Did he just say he loves you?

No. He got caught up in the moment and probably got tongue tied. Maybe he meant to say I love fucking you.

Neither of you mention it as you clean up and get ready for bed.

***

You tug anxiously on the hem of Jimin's t-shirt as you make your way to the apartment. Regrettably you have to work today and your work uniform is folded neatly on the pile of clean laundry in your bedroom. Obviously you never planned on spending a night away.

Quietly you unlock the door and slip inside. The apartment is so silent a librarian would be proud. Praying you don't find the same blonde from the night before naked in your bed you tip-toe to the bedroom. You don't know what you'd do if that was the case. However when you open the door the reality you're presented with is a shirtless Jungkook sleeping face down, one arm falling off the edge of the bed.

Even though you're beyond pissed his peaceful face makes your heart melt.

You spot your clothes and as quietly as you can you reach for them. However, as if by divine intervention, you receive a text and your phone dings loudly. Jungkook stirs. "Baby?" He croaks, voice thick with sleep. "s'that you?"

You hope if you remain silent he will fall back asleep but fate isn't feeling kind today. He sits up and squints at you in the morning light of the room. "You're home." He yawns. "I was worried."

"Not for long." You mutter. You ignore him as you grab some toiletries and underwear, as well as another change of clothes. They get stuffed in to a bag and you're ready to go. Jimin had kindly allowed you to stay at his place until you had to work.

"Wait."

You don't. You're at the bedroom door, ready to leave when Jungkook is up surprisingly fast for someone who has just woken up, your wrist in his grasp.

"Let go."

"Please can we talk?" He begs.

"What's the point?" You mumble, finally daring to look at him. He looks rough, like he hasn't slept in days even though it's only been a few hours and his eyes are sad.

"The point is I love you."

It's pathetic how easily the walls you've put up crumble at those three words. You drop the bag as he yanks you into his arms, though you don't reciprocate. His chin rests on top of your head as you breathe him in. He smells like home.

"Kook," You say as you separate, swallowing thickly. "There's nothing to talk about."

"There is! It wasn't what it looked like!" He protests you instantly.

"It was exactly what it looked like." Before he can open his mouth you're cutting him off. "I'm not an idiot Kookie," You say sadly. "I've known for a long time what you get up to."

"I don - "

"Save it. You're not exactly good at hiding it." You feel a tear hit your cheek and you swipe at it quickly. "God knows how many girls you've fucked since we've been together. But I took it Jungkook. I took it because I loved - love - you. Fuck I don't even know."

"I've never slept with anyone apart from you." He says defiantly. You let out a puff of laughter.

"Sure."

"I'm fucking serious."

"Jungkook I've literally found women's underwear amongst your things. Don't lie to my face like that. How do you know you haven't slept with anyone when you get so fucked up every night?"

He lets out a long sigh and cards a tattooed hand through his long dark locks. "Can we sit?" He asks. You find yourself nodding and both of you perch on the edge of the bed. He reaches for your hand but you move it away. "I won't lie to you then. There has been girls."

You feel sick.

"But baby, you have to believe me. None of them meant anything to me. I couldn't even tell you one girl's name."

"Wow, that makes it all okay. Carry on then." You spit.

"Sometimes on tour we'd just get so fucked up and girls would sometimes...do things. I barely even touched anyone. Pretty certain I never even kissed anyone either."

"Hang on - " You almost want to laugh. "So you cheated on me, multiple times, because you couldn't be bothered to jerk off?"

"No, it's not like that! These girls are so eager, you've seen them. I just would take advantage. All the guys did."

"Why am I not enough for you?" You ask in a small voice. "I thought - I thought I was special to you."

"Baby," He cups your face with both hands, affectionate thumbs rub at your cheeks. "You are enough. You are so special to me. There's a reason why I always come home to you."

"It's not enough anymore Jungkook. I can't handle it anymore. I haven't been handling it. Why do you think I got so upset about Namjoon?" Jungkook looks down in shame at your words and his hands fall back to his lap.

"What are you saying?" He asks, avoiding your gaze.

"I don't know."

"Did Jimin convince you to do this? Break up with me?" He asks out of nowhere, taking you by surprise. "Spend all night talking shit about me?"

"Why would Jimin try and convince me to break up with you?"

"He's been practically obsessed with you since the day I introduced you." Jungkook scoffs. "I once found a painting he did of you and some drawings. Fucking creepy."

"No..." You breathe, vision tunnelling. Jimin was a fling, he didn't obsess about you. "You're lying."

"Nope." He says boldly.

Suddenly a lot of Jimin's behaviour makes sense. The doting on you even though you're taken, acting like your boyfriend even though he's not, the 'I fucking love you' comment from the night before...You need to speak to him.

"Kook I need to tell you something." You say tentatively. You don't want to do this, you really don't but Jungkook was honest with you and it's only fair. He looks at you, an eyebrow arched in intrigue. "I stayed at Jimin's last night."

"I know...?"

"No, listen." You take a deep breath. "We slept together."

"What the fuck? I'll fucking kill him." Jungkook hisses.

"It was my fault too." You point out.

"No," He shakes his head slowly. "No, no, no, y/n. He took advantage of you."

You close your eyes for a moment in an attempt to summon some courage. A lone tear slips down your cheek. It's like the weight of the last few months are crushing you and you can barely breathe. The realization that you might be the worse one in the relationship hits you like a ton of bricks.

"He didn't take advantage of me. This has been happening for three months." Your voice chokes at the end of your confession.

"You are fucking joking." Jungkook deadpans.

"No." You're crying now. The guilt constricts around your throat like a cobra and it's tight when you inhale. "I was angry at you, and I was in so much pain Kook. I just turned to him as a friend and it led to that. I'm truly sorry."

He rubs at his face with the heels of his palms and a shaky breathe escapes his lips. He lets out a mocking laugh that sounds almost cruel. "Unbelievable." He mutters. "I don't know who I'm more pissed at, him or you."

"What do we do now?" You ask with some hesitation.

"Well seeing as you're wearing Jimin's clothes why don't you fuck off back to your boyfriend for a bit while I figure how I'm not going to murder him." Jungkook seethes. His eyes flash with fury. You reluctantly gather the things you had dropped and make for the door.

"You know Jungkook, when you're 'figuring things out' remember this - I apologised to you. I've yet to hear one sorry from you."

You don't wait for a reply, opting to leave instead.

***

You didn't go back to Jimin's. As you were leaving the apartment you had checked to see what the text message you received was, the one that had incidentally woken up Jungkook. It was from Hyerin.

from: kim hyerin: I really need your help. Can you come over? I'm home all day, phone me!!!

It's a welcome interruption into your day, frankly. The idea of going to face Jimin right now doesn't seem as appealing as it was twenty four hours ago. You have no idea what you'd even begin to say to him. 'Hey, so are you in love with me?' doesn't exactly roll off of the tongue. You push that to the back of your mind for now as you ring Hyerin's doorbell.

When she answers, the first thing you immediately notice is how tired she looks, totally unlike the composed pretty girl you'd become so accustomed to. "Jesus, you look like hell." You exclaim.

"Yeah, well I just got back." She utters dryly. "Come in."

You follow her inside and she leads you her living room. It's the first time you've ever been to her place. It's surprisingly girly, you had expected her to have a much more minimalistic taste. She offers you some water which you readily accept with a thank you. You wait for her to get comfortable on the opposite chair before you speak. "What's going on babe?" You ask gently.

Hyerin looks at you for a moment. "I'm pregnant." She says bluntly. You swear out loud.

"Does Namjoon know?" You ask. She shakes her head. "Have you been to the doctor yet?"

"No. I'm going this week."

"I can go with you if you want?" You offer.

"I'd really appreciate that." She says quietly.

"How are things with Namjoon now?" You ask rather hesitantly.

"Well, we're talking again. He gave me some bullshit excuse for the reason why he was ignoring me." She rolls her eyes. "Still not great though."

"It might improve now that he's home again."

"Yeah." She says with no emotion whatsoever. "It's still such a new relationship. I don't know if I want it to."

The two of you silent for a few moments, a lingering sort of sadness hangs between you. "I caught Jungkook cheating on me last night." You say bluntly, the desire to talk to anyone that's not involved with your situation too great.

"I'm so sorry, y/n." Hyerin says and it sounds genuine.

"Everything is so fucked right now isn't it?" You give a humourless laugh and slump down further on the sofa cushions. A large part of you wishes you could just hide at Hyerin's forever. "Do you mind if I hang out here until I have to work?"

"Not at all." She replies. "Let's stay and here and talk shit about boys until then."  It's the first time you've laughed in nearly two days.

***

from: park jimin: where are you?? I thought you were heading back here...is everything ok? from: park jimin :i'm worried butterfly... (6) missed calls: park jimin (2) missed calls: min yoongi from: min yoongi: have you seen jk??? dude has vanished (1) missed calls: jungkook<3 from: kim namjoon: have u murdered kook? he's gone awol. Panic starts to rise as you check your phone for the first time during your shift at work. It'd had only been three hours since you last looked, the amount of time relatively short compared to the absurd amount of notifications you returned to. Immediately you dial Jungkook's number.

It goes straight to voicemail. God, you hope he hasn't done anything reckless.

The next person on your list is Jimin. You dial him but it just rings out. You try two more times but are yielded with the same result. "Fuck!" You cry out loud in frustration to yourself. "Why does everyone have phones if they don't use them?!" Thankfully you're alone in the staff room without anyone to witness your slight meltdown.

You text Jimin anyway, assuring him you're fine and asking if he's okay/heard from Jungkook. You try to phone Jungkook one more time before the end of your break but again it goes straight to voicemail. Stomach knotting with anxiety you have no choice other than return to work.

The remaining three hours of your shift seems to crawl by. You practically run to Jimin's house the second you clock out, trying not to come across too frantic to your co-workers. When you eventually arrive at his place you observe his car in the lot, surely he must be home.

You hammer on his front door. "Jimin!"

Silence.

"Jimin, I know you're home! Please open the door!" You call out, still pounding on the wood. It's silent for what feels like an eternity until you hear some shuffling inside. Nothing could have truly prepared you for what was on the other side. The door creaked open slowly, and even in the darkness of his apartment you could pick out a very bruised and broken looking Jimin.

"What do you want?" His voice was hoarse, worn.

"What the hell happened to you?!" You try to step forward for a better look but he closed the door slightly, acting as a barrier to keep you out.

"You told Jungkook."

You're silent as you take in his injuries. His lip is split and his eye is swollen. You would bet that that's only the tip of the iceberg knowing Jungkook. "He's responsible? I'm sorry, I never thought he'd do this..."

"What did you expect?" He sighs. "I think you should go."

"I just wanted to make sure you're ok." You tell him, voice small and defeated.

"I'm clearly not." He mutters. "Goodnight, y/n."

"Wait - " He pauses as he starts to shut the door. "Where is he? Everyone's been trying to get a hold of me because he's unreachable. I'm worried he's going to do something stupid. Something else stupid..." You add on, referring to Jimin's injuries.

Jimin tongues the inside of his cheek. He looks as if he wants to tell you to go fuck yourself. "I don't know. He was drunk out of his mind when he was here. He could be anywhere."

"Thanks Jimin. Truly, I'm sorry..." You feel silly, you know a mere apology isn't enough. He just nods. "Can I come by later on? I really think we should talk."

Jimin nods. You take a risk and gently push the door open, which he reluctantly allows you to do. You pull him into your arms as gently as possible, his limbs automatically wrapping around you. You mumble how sorry you are over and over while you hold him, willing yourself not to cry. This entire situation is your fault, you're not allowed that luxury right now.

"Can I do anything for you?" You ask as you detach yourself from him, eyes searching his, a determined look on your face. "Anything."

"I just need to rest." He averts your gaze.

"Call me if you need anything."

masterlist 

[snaileer]

Chips & Salsa Chp 4

Shiro strode down the castle hallways. Repeatedly. Maybe more like paced. But hey, it was like 4 am and he deserved to be a little stressed out. Waking up and calming yourself down from a panic attack was hard work. He missed having access to coffee.

He slowed down in front of Lance’s room. Keith would tease him for being an ‘overprotective space-dad’ but Shiro was worried about Lance. He wanted to help him, but how could he help Lance if he couldn't even help himself. Shiro had tried to support Lance but all that did was make him angry at him.

He was about to keep walking when he heard a mumble from inside the room. And then a groan. It sounded like someone was breathing really harshly.

Lance.

He must be having a nightmare. Shiro immediately jumped for the door.

“Lance-!” He stared at the empty bed in confusion before lowering his eyes to the ground where Lance was.. “Are you doing push-ups?”

“Shiro! What the hell?! Why are you running in here yelling at 2 am?”

“It’s 3 am. And because I thought you were having a nightmare. I wanted to help,” Shiro watched as Lance rolled and got up from the ground.

“Well, I’m not, so… All good.” Lance smiled hesitantly and did finger guns at him. Shiro raised an eyebrow and leaned back on his hip, Shiro was probably the last person Lance wanted to see right now but-

 Lance sighed and dropped his hands as he turned his back to Shiro, “Look, if you wanted to help me you’d let me leave. Or at least spar with me.” 

“The first one I can't help you with,” Lance’s shoulders sagged a bit, “And I don't think you should be doing anything rough this soon.”

“Right, I forgot, Shiro has to follow all the rules,” 

“Lance, we just don't want you to get hurt or-”

“You guys know you don't need to pity me, right? I’m not some fragile weakling who can't handle anything.”

“I know that-”

“Then why can’t you fight me? Was I really that bad when I came out of the pod?”

“No. I promise we’re not scared of you just because you lashed out a bit.” Shiro felt he had to compromise for Lance at least a little bit. He sighed, “As long as you’re careful, I think we can probably try some light training,” Shiro smiled, “If you’re not too tired.”

Lance turned around and he smiled a bit, “Oh, you know I’m not.” Lance and Shiro walked out of the room together, heading towards the training room. “And I bet I could beat you now,”

“Oh really?”

“Yeah for sure. I picked up some badass ninja tricks in my time ‘away’ from the team” Lance did air quotes around away, “And you’re probably the only one on the team I’ll actually feel comfortable sparring with, so I’m glad your mid-morning pacing brought you to my room.”

“You heard me?”

“Of course I heard you, Shiro. I’ve learned to pay attention to whose footsteps are outside my door.” Lance threw a look at him. The implications of his words set Shiro on edge more than he would like to admit.

He tried to brush it off for another time, “And why am I the only one you want to spar with?”

“Because I need to fight but I also need to know that I’m fighting with someone that can handle me if…” Lance’s voice tapered off as he looked down.

“If?”

“If I lose control.” 

Shiro stopped in his tracks, his voice small, “What?”

Lance stopped as well and turned back to him, though he didn't look him in the eye. “Shiro, you and I both know how bad it gets in.. that place. And we know how hard it is to come out the same on the other side. I mean, you’re not fooling anybody with the ‘I wake up this early because I have self-discipline and military training.’ Plus, you were the one to snap me out of it when I got out of the pod and started throwing hands.”

“But you shouldn’t have to think about this stuff. You shouldn’t have had to go through that.”

“Neither of us deserved what happened to us. But it happened all the same and now we have to move past it.” Lance motioned down the hall, but Shiro wasn’t paying attention.

“But I should’ve protected you. I shouldn’t have let them take you, or even let them have the chance to get close to you. I was just so focused on getting out of there. Getting as far away from that ship as possible and I wasn’t paying enough attention and I shouldn’t have let you go off on your own.” Shiro stared down at his own hands, one that barely seemed like his most of the time.

“No,”

“What?”

“No.” Lance paused, “Shiro, you spent a year on that ship, I spent about three months there. Out of anyone on this team, I know what that place is, what it does to you; and there is nothing wrong with hating it. I should hate it. So it is not your fault that you wanted to leave, we all make mistakes sometimes.” 

“But-”

“Especially when we’re afraid. Shiro, just for one second, put your massive guilt complex to the side. Please. For me?” Lance pulled out the big puppy dog eyes to pout at Shiro.

Shiro gave him a shaky smile, “Yeah, Lance, for you.”

“Great, now can we please go fight?” Lance motioned forward with his hands again.

“That’s the only reason I’m here, isn’t it?”

Lance’s fists clenched and unclenched as he followed Shiro down the hall. He felt guilty about pushing Shiro to fight with him... but doing sit-ups and push-ups all night could only cure his jitteriness so much.

“Yeah, it is.”

x--x--x

“Everybody get your lazy asses over to- Hunk! No- I don't want- Fine!” Pidge’s voice bellowed over the speaker system before fading into mumbled arguments.

Hunk’s voice came on afterwards, “What she meant was: Can everybody please come to the kitchen? I made breakfast and Pidge has something to show all of us. Even though she’s being sour and won’t tell me what it is.” The last part sounded like it was spoken at someone else in the room rather than into the microphone.

“Well, I’m sorry but I don't want to repeat-” The intercom clicked out Pidge’s muffled response.

Shiro looked down from the ceiling of the training room at the same time as Lance did. They made eye contact and stared at each other for a second before bursting into laughter.

“It’s good to know Hunk is still attempting to wrangle Pidge after all this time. ” Lance struggled out past laughter.

Shiro’s laughter wound down a bit at the comment, still chuckling, “Well, it was a little hard while you were gone, but it sounds like they’re bouncing right back. I don't know if I’m happy about the return of the fighting though.”

“Don’t worry, Space Dad, you can always ground them.” Lance grinned

“Ooh, I am gonna kill Keith for telling you about that.” Shiro cursed his brother under his breath.

“Hah!” Lance inched towards the door, then smirked, “Who do you think told Keith?”

“No.” Shiro’s eyes narrowed in disbelief.

“Oh Yeah,” Lance smiled bigger.

“No…”

“Yep, and I helped Pidge photoshop your Leap Year baby photos.”

“That was you!?”

“The very one!”

Shiro gasped in mock anger and lunged for Lance, but he was already running from the room, grabbing his jacket by the door before sprinting towards the kitchen.

Lance spotted Keith walking down the hall from his room.

“Keith!!” Keith paused to look back, “Shiro found out you told me his birthday!”

“Shit.” Keith turned and ran.

“Nooo! Keith, you were supposed to help me!”

“I grew up with him, it’s your turn!” He ducked into the relative safety of the kitchen, Lance close on his heels.

“Where’s Shiro? And why are you two so out of breath?” Hunk asked from next to the oven.

“Oh, don’t worry, he should be right along in-” Shiro burst in, “Now.”

“I can’t believe you, Lance!” Shiro yelled. Hunk dropped his pan in surprise and Pidge nearly fell off her perch on the counter at the sudden clatter.

“Sorry, I saw an opportunity and it was my obligation as a younger sibling to use it.” Lance shrugged.

“Ignoring whatever is going on there,” Pidge waved her hand at Lance hiding from Shiro behind Hunk, “I’ve got some information on the tracker.” Lance’s smile shrunk immediately and the room paused to look at her.

“What?” “What’d you find?” “Can you get rid of it?”

“Whoa, everybody slow down. Let her talk.”

“So I woke up early this morning-”

Lance interrupted her, “Seriously, was I the only one in this whole castle with a normal sleep schedule? Hunk’s already made breakfast and it’s only 6 o’clock,” He threw his hands up at the second pan of space-pastries Hunk pulled out of the oven.

“Hey, you know I bake when I’m stressed. Or tired. Or worried.” 

“Believe me, it’s hard to forget when you force-fed me un pastelito every meal during finals week.” Lance moved to look at Hunk with crossed arms.

“Yeah..”

“And midterms,”

“Maybe..”

“And your history tests.”

“Hey, those are hard.”

“And your English project.”

“That was only once.”

“Okay! I think we’re getting off topic!” Pidge yelled.

“Oh, yeah. Pidge, what’d you find?” Hunk turned back to face her on the counter. Lance angrily bit into a pastry he’d snatched behind him. 

“As fun as watching Lance burn his tongue on space-jelly is, I think we have a chance at getting rid of the chip.” Lance glared at her.

“So I woke up really early this morning because of something I discussed with Keith about the chip last night,” the group looked at Keith but he just shrugged, he knew just as much as the rest of them. “There’s no strategy in putting the chip in Lance’s brain.”

“Why would you ask Keith about strategy? His only strategy is run in, stab them and ask questions later.”

“Hey!”

“Well am I wrong Mullet-!?”

“I’m not done!” Pidge yelled again.

“Fine.” Both boys begrudgingly backed off each other.

“It’s too much work for just a tracker they could put anywhere, so I looked closer at where they put it,” Pidge pulled up a hologram of Lance’s scan, “The temporal lobe.” 

“Isn't the temporal lobe in charge of smell, language and-?” Hunk joined in on the genius talk.

“Hearing. Yep, the primary purpose of the temporal lobe is auditory functions. And when I looked at the scan again, I found not one, but two signals.”

Lance’s eyes widened.

“What? What’s the second one for?”

“That’s what I was thinking. One signal is outgoing,-”

“The tracker obviously,” 

Pidge hummed in agreement, “But the second signal has an internal destination.”

“Huh?”

“Precisely. Hunk, you’re the resident expert engineer, what does the design of this chip tell you?” Pidge passed the hologram to him.

“Well, first of all, the chip is attached mostly to the right temporal lobe, but these wires also connect it to the left lobe and to the hypothalamus, but connection to both temporal lobes would only be necessary to create an equal simulation across both auditory cortexes and Oh my gosh!” 

“Okay, that was a lot of science-tech words that I did not understand.” Keith pushed off the wall to move closer to the group.

“It means that the ingoing signal from the chip is trying to broadcast a false sound directly to Lance’s auditory senses,-”

“Which are controlled within the temporal lobes,” It was almost creepy how Pidge and Hunk talked so much in sync.

“It’s trying to broadcast, but it’s failing because the chip is malfunctioning. Otherwise, Lance would be hearing a high-pitched noise most or all of the time,” 

“It’s like it’s trying to cause constant tinnitus. We don’t know why yet, but the most important thing is we can exploit this malfunction to remove it.”

“Okay!” Shiro moved towards the tech pair to break them up, “One of you, talk. The other, please don't. My neck is starting to hurt from looking back and forth between you two nerds.”

“You say that like you’re not a nerd yourself, Shiro.” Shiro glared at Pidge to silence her.

“Ugh, fine. All yours, Pidge.” Hunk handed Pidge the hologram and leaned back against the counter to grumpily eat one of his pastries off the tray.

“If the chip’s not working properly, that may mean the Druids were unable to completely evaluate the human neurological system.” She zoomed out a bit to show the whole head scan, “Since the human brain is so complicated and everything is connected to everything else, this malfunction in the chip is probably rooted in its attachment and implementation. Which also creates a higher possibility of being able to get rid of the tracker without horrible brain surgery.” 

Pidge looked at the team, “And I don't think any of us are qualified to even attempt brain surgery. Eh, maybe Coran could,” Coran smiled and posed at the attention, “So the better option would be to be able to hack into the external signal and shut it down remotely, which would limit the risk of brain damage and would-”

“It won't work.” Lance’s voice was quiet, though the small declaration quickly got everyone’s attention and they turned to him. He stood at the end of the counter, staring down at his hands.

“Yes, it will. I’ll make it work.” Pidge growled back from the other end.

“No, it won't.”

“Goddamnit Lance!” Pidge slammed her tablet on the table, “Why won't you let us help you!? That’s all we’re trying to do! You’ve barely even come out of your room, except to try to sneak out in the middle of the night! And you won't tell us anything that happened! So if the only way I can help is to get rid of this stupid chip, then I’m going to do that!”

“I won't work,” Lance paused and looked up, “because the chip isn’t malfunctioning.”

Everyone stopped dead in their tracks.

“So you’ve been hearing-”

“See my hand right now?” Lance held his hand out over the countertop.

“Lance, what the hell does that have to do with-?”

“My hand is completely steady right now. And do you want to know why?” Lance clenched his hand into a fist, “It’s steady because I goaded Shiro into fighting with me.”

“What?” The team looked at Shiro, but he only stared at Lance, who refused to meet his eyes. Lance pulled his hand back to his side.

“Why would you-” Shiro’s voice was filled with betrayal.

“Because you guys obviously wanted me to stay and doing hundreds of sit-ups in my room wasn’t working!” Lance yelled, “I do hear that ringing. I hear that ringing constantly, everyday, all the time, except-” Lance raked his hand through his hair roughly, “Except when I fight.” He looked down in.. shame? 

Pidge and Hunk made worried eye contact but kept their mouths shut.

“When I fight, my head is finally clear. And I can think. And do things and feel and be myself, and then it comes back.” He looked up at the ceiling with a pained fake-smile then glanced at the team with hard eyes “And it always comes back.”

“I’ve tried everything to get rid of it. I tried meditating, breathing techniques, exercising, ignoring it, distractions; I even tried to drown out the sound myself! Short of slamming my head against a brick wall till my skull cracks, I don't know what else to do! I can’t even sleep unless I pass out from exhaustion! So yes!” Lance’s voice suddenly dropped, “Yes, I chose to fight. I chose it then and I chose it now. I chose the one solution I’ve found that works. And it works one hundred percent of the time.”

“But why me? You know I struggle fighting one on one without flashbacks.” Shiro sounded even more hurt.

“Partially because I was angry at you. Partially because you were there. Mostly,” he paused, “because I needed to feel like myself again. I needed to be able to hear myself think. And I wasn’t lying, I needed to know you’d be able to handle me if I went off the rails,”

“But?”

“But… I also knew I was going to go off the rails on purpose.” Lance finally tried to look Shiro in the eye, “Shiro, I-”

“Don't Lance. Not right now.” Shiro pushed past them and left the room.

Lance looked at the group. Pidge and Hunk looked somewhere between shocked and upset, Coran looked disappointed and sad, Allura looked appalled and Keith looked…

“How dare you!?” Keith threw his fist at Lance. He let the punch hit him and knock him to the ground.

“Keith,” the others moved to stop him but didn’t get close.

 “You of all people should know!” Keith yelled again before leaving to go after Shiro.

“Lance…” 

“No, it’s alright. I think I probably deserved that.” Lance wiped blood away from his nose as he got up. He looked at it on his hand for a second, “Hell, I definitely deserved more than that; but, uh, I think we should finish this some other time. Yeah?” 

Lance turned his back to them and left as well. He followed down the same hallway as Keith and Shiro.

He stopped behind a corner when he heard their voices in the hallway.

“Shiro, are you okay?”

“No! What he did wasn’t okay!” Lance flinched a bit at the sound of a metal fist hitting the wall.

“I know and you have the right to be angry at him right now.”

“Damn right I do. And I know that... it’s just, yeah, I’m angry at him for lying to me like that. Especially about something like this, but I’m also angry at myself,”

“You shouldn’t be, he’s the one that pushed you even though he knew.”

“You didn’t hear him earlier, Keith.”

“In the kitchen, yeah I-”

“No, before that, when he asked me to train with him. Looking back, he sounded almost...,” Shiro paused, “Desperate.”

“What do you mean?”

He means addicted. Lance ignored his thoughts and stayed quiet against the wall.

“I mean, at first, when he asked me I said no. And then he started saying all this stuff he was worried about and I thought, if I can give him this one thing, maybe he’ll keep talking like this. Maybe he’ll end up better than I did. Maybe I can fix this. But he knew I’d give him what he wanted. He was just trying to use me Keith! How do I react to that!?”

“I don’t really think there’s any way you could have expected him to do this.”

“But that’s the thing, Keith. I should’ve. I should’ve expected it, I should’ve known. Just like when I got him captured, I wasn’t thinking about him, I was thinking about me. Again! I should’ve been able to tell this time. ”

“No, Shiro. The only way this could’ve been avoided is if he had told us about the ringing. This is on him. Not you.”

“No, it’s my responsibility-”

“Keith is right, y’know.” Lance finally turned around the corner to meet them. Keith’s face instantly went from gentle to furious again. “As much as I hate to say it, Keith is right, I should’ve told you guys.”

“I swear to God, Lance, are you looking to get punched again?”

“No the first time was enough, thank you.”

“Wait, Keith, you punched him?” Shiro glanced at his brother.

“Well, yeah, it didn’t look like you were going to. So why didn’t you tell us, Lance? I get we’re all having ‘hindsight is 20/20’ moments but something like that is kind of important.”

“I didn’t say anything because I thought it was just me.”

“Huh?”

“I didn’t know it was the chip and I didn’t know why I suddenly felt the need to fight all the time. Why I was such a horrible person to be addicted to something as horrible as the Arena. I thought this was my punishment, for doing everything I did to get through the Arena. I was-,” Lance swallowed and looked away, “I was ashamed.”

Lance’s mind still told him he should be ashamed. That it was his punishment and he would never-.

“Why the hell would you be ashamed for surviving in-” Keith started out angrily, but Shiro cut him off.

“Because you felt like a monster.” 

Lance’s head snapped back up to look at Shiro in surprise before glancing back down again. 

Shiro pushed past Keith to approach Lance. “You felt like a monster because you thought you were addicted to enjoying the fights.” Shiro said it like a realization, like he was finally recognizing something.

“How do you-?”

“Like you said earlier, Lance; I have a bit of experience with guilt complexes and carrying the weight of the world on my back.” Shiro set his hand on Lance’s shoulder.

“Hey!” Lance said with mock indignation, “I came here to apologize to you, not the other way around.” Lance half-heartedly pulled away from Shiro’s hand, “I am sorry by the way. I shouldn’t have done that to you. No matter the circumstances.”

“I can’t say I forgive you just yet, but at the very least, I understand.” 

“That’s all I can ask for Shiro.”

“Hey! I’m still mad at you!” Keith yelled from behind Shiro.

“I wouldn't expect anything less, Samurai!” Lance yelled back.

“Ugh. Come on Keith, I’m taking you away before you can hit him again.” Shiro was already dragging Keith down the hallway towards his room.

Lance briefly listened to the muffled arguments of ‘but he deserved it!’ and ‘that doesn’t mean you can hit our teammates for me.’ He gave a small smile.

He looked down at the slight tremble in his hands before shoving his fist roughly into the pocket of his jacket. A problem for another day.

Next Chapter: https://snaileer.tumblr.com/post/618602039029760000/chips-salsa-chp-5

First Chapter: https://snaileer.tumblr.com/post/613092735756402688/chips-and-salsa-chp-1

[shirtlesssammy]

15x10: The Heroes’ Journey

Then:

Heroes

Now:

Monster Fight Club! RAWR. In one corner we have wolf-man and in the other, we have wraith-woman. I felt like I was watching a Sci-fi channel show or another show on the CW with this opening scene. I have to give it up to the music and cinema of the sequence though. It’s quite lovely, even as the wolf-man gets stabbed to (near) death.

Meanwhile, in tiny Lebanon, Kansas, Dean’s picking up essentials (plus pie magazines) at his local Kwik Trip. 

I have many things to say about this. First, who knew Lebanon had such tall buildings in it? And I’ve read many a comment about Bobo getting his name on something, and while YES, that’s technically true, this Kwik Trip (a real regional chain of gas stations/convenience stores in Wisconsin) is also named after the comedian behind The Manitowoc Minute, Charlie Berens. The Open sign missing the ‘n’ is a reference to it as well. Bless Jerry Wanek and his love for his home state. Anyway, Dean’s credit card is declined, his fight or flight instinct kicks in when faced with the store attendant's psoriasis, he gets a toothache, AND he gets a parking ticket. 

Sam Fucking I Don’t Need Hotpads Winchester royally messes up dinner by burning the food, dropping the pasta all over the food, and breaking all the plates. 

The weirdness continues once Dean gets home. Sam trips when running to greet him and he’s getting a cold.

Dean gets a call from Garth who needs some help. On the road, they discuss their Very Bad Day. Dean thinks they’re cursed. Sam’s too busy sneezing to contribute. I’m surprised Dean didn’t make him sit in the backseat. (Did Dean seem sarcastically unhappy about Cas seeking out angel help? #missinghusbandhour). Then the ultimate travesty happens: Baby breaks down. 

They have to walk the last ten miles to Garth’s. When they make it, he welcomes them with open arms (Sam declines the hug but Dean gets one and a compliment -- “You smell so good.”)

Garth was previously feeding his twin baby boys, and he takes them to meet his children. He has a daughter, Gertie, and twin boys, Sam (named after Sam) and...Castiel. Dean is confused and disappointed. I love how there’s no explanation as to why Dean didn’t get a namesake. Natasha wrote a thing though. 

Garth then takes them to see why he called. Bess’s cousin is unconscious on Gertie’s bed. He has wraith cuts all over his body. 

Dean, the candy eating monster that he is, nabs some candy beans from Gertie’s dresser and Garth notices his pained reaction to eating them. Dean makes note of how nice Garth’s home and life are. (SOFT) Sam sneezes again and Bess tells him she has something to help. 

Beth hands Sam her family concoction for helping the common cold. Sam downs it in one go --and instantly has regrets. It’s mostly cayenne pepper. Wherps. Sidenote: Gertie’s little wolf stuffy. All the hearts! 

Poor Sam really goes through something --and it is a sight to see. Little Sam and Little Cas are sympathy crying with him and he tries to reassure them that “Big Sam’s okay.” He’s really not. 

Garth asks about Dean’s teeth and Dean confesses they’ve hurt since the previous day.

Garth takes Dean to his basement dentist office. It seems he finished getting his dental degree and is now a dentist for other werewolves. “Fang maintenance is a B.” He assesses Dean’s mouth and finds 17 cavities! 

He rolls out the nitrous oxide and gets to work. We get to stay with Dean though, AND GOOD FUCKING CHUCK ON A CRACKER. 

I can’t explain what I witnessed with my own two eyes. I really, really can’t. @neven-ebrez​ had a great thread on Twitter that I fully love. 

In any event, Dean tap dances to Cole Porter’s Let’s Misbehave. Garth starts showing him the ropes, but then he takes over on his own and starts dancing with a light stick LAMP. He blows a kiss at the lamp and ascends a stairway to heaven the top of the map table and finishes his dance. They dedicated almost 2 minutes to this scene. I --I just. can’t. Also, Dean going for the lamp is timed to line up with the “lovebirds” lyric? I’m so very tired. 

Anyway, Dean comes to with a mouth full of gauze, and presumably no cavities. 

Everyone reconvenes in the Fitzgerald’s living room. Garth wants to know what’s happening. Sam tells him that they’re kind of on the outs with God. Garth realizes that they’ve been the heroes of Chuck’s stories, and wonders, “what’s that make me? A supporting character? A special guest star?” Garth's happy being the guest star. Being the hero is the worst. Their lives are going to suck until the end. Also, little vanilla couple Garth and Bess apparently love 50 Shades. Lol. Garth points out that the hero never sweats the small stuff because that stuff ruins the story. They’re normal now. (Dean suggests cursed, which, like, lol bud, normal people's lives just suck.) 

Bess’s cousin calls for her and they all rush to his side. He doesn’t want to talk to hunters. Sam turns on the ol’ puppy dog eyes and….it does nothing. In fact, Brad can hardly believe that that shtick works at all. Ooof. Bummer, Sammy. Bess digs into the wraith wound to get some answers. And ugh. That was squishy grossness. Brad starts talking about the monster fights though. He tells them where to find the place. 

The Winchesters bid Garth farewell. Garth is VERY WORRIED about them. “The old Sam and Dean” could handle a whole warehouse of monsters but the Supernormally Normal boys don’t stand a chance. Dean’s resolute. Fighting monsters, righting wrongs? That’s just who they are. Dean implores Garth to stay home with his wife and kids, and the Winchesters head off. 

They arrive at midday outside the arena. Dean polishes off his SEVENTH grilled cheese sandwich and they gather weaponry to storm the place. Sam’s concerned that Garth’s theory that the Winchesters are normal is correct, and they need to take precautions. They gather extra ammo, dead man’s blood, and Dean pulls out his beloved precious weapon.

Upon entering, Sam immediately trips noisily over a bucket and Dean’s grilled cheese extravaganza decides to throw a party right back into his mouth. Dean races for a bathroom, leaving Sam to peruse the room holding the main fight cage. 

While Dean is throwing up in the toilet, I desperately try to pretend this isn’t happening. I’m FINE with entrails but upchuck is a hard no, apparently. The bathroom stall opens and one of the monsters from the cold open’s fight night stands there, training Dean’s grenade launcher on him.

Sam and Dean end up locked in the cage-match cage (not to be confused with the CAGE cage). The monster, Cutty, owns the fight club. “Man? Monster? They’re at their best, their most pure, in the heat of competition.” Pardon me while I fake cough “Purgatory” for twenty-five minutes. 

Cutty introduces them to their new friend, Maul, a huge monster who grimaces gloomily and flexes his muscles. He wants the Winchesters to fight Maul (together) in the cage match that evening. 

Dean tries to tell a story to get out of the situation and I HAVE NEVER BEEN PROUDER. He draws on their legends - the mighty creatures they’ve taken down - and questions whether any MERE monster should even think about trying to attack them. Nobody’s buying what he’s selling. 

A short commercial for the upcoming cage match plays. It’s….

AMAZING

All the monsters are gathered around, ready to watch the two mighty cage matches. KILLER WRAITH versus JAMAICA DJINN and MIGHTY MAUL versus THE WINCHESTERS!!!

It’s battle royale time, motherfuckers. When the first fight begins, Dean and Sam are locked up in cells just outside of the ring. “Just how I wanted to die,” Dean grouses. “With a freakin’ audience.” We shall not speak of the 200+ times we have witnessed Dean die on this show. 

Dean pulls a nail from the ceiling and proceeds to try to pick the lock. He…fails. Miserably. Sam gives it a try on his lock and neither of them can pick it. 

“Could we ever actually pick locks?” Sam asks, frustrated. I’m with others in guessing that both their natural and learned skills have been hugely demoted through Chuck’s interference and this downturn won’t last. But this is a great way to make them doubt themselves. This is the black moment in the hero’s journey - at least for this episode. They’ve never doubted themselves more! Dean delivers a stirring speech anyway. “We’re the best in the world. I say we go out there. We kick some ass.”

Cutty returns to fetch the Winchesters. “Shirts off,” he demands on the way. EYEBALLS EMOJI. But Sam and Dean are gone, the cage doors wide open! The episode rewinds, this time with another point of view. Who’s that lanky man in the floppy-eared hat walking through the crowd? It’s everyone’s favorite werewolf hero, that’s who. Garth frees them by just…BUSTING off the lock.

Outside, Sam and Dean are ready to flee. But Garth has other plans. He whips out a detonator and we get a quick clip show of Garth planting C4 around the club. The club is DECIMATED by fire. Maul survives, however, and strides out of the burning building. Garth goes up against him, but Maul knocks him out. Sam and Dean stand and face Maul, despite their low, low expectations of themselves. Like real damn heroes!

What follows is a HIGHLY comical fight. Sam and Dean do their absolute, precious best, but fortunately the fight seems to be operating on some modified Looney Toons rules. 

Garth saves them with a machete through Maul’s head. “You got Garthed!”

Back at Garth’s home, Dean and Sam cradle the babies. “This Cas keeps looking at me weird,” Dean notes. “So kinda like the real Cas,” Sam says. OH SAM. OH SHOW. How we are blessed!

They head out, Dean clutching a bag of grilled cheese sandwiches from Bess. Sam and Dean thank Garth for saving them and call him a hero. Excuse me while I CRY FOR FIVE MINUTES this is so soft. “I guess I learned from the best,” Garth returns. Garth gives them a tip - a place in Alaska where you can go when your luck’s run bad. “There’s always a catch,” Garth warns. 

They hug!

“You don’t smell so bad yourself,” Dean notes when he hugs Garth. “It’s Hai Karate,” Garth says. Guys. I love them. 

Werewolves of London plays us out. Garth and Bess dance together through the window as the Winchesters get into the Impala. It’s. So. Precious. And. Warm. 

“I always thought I could be a good dancer if I wanted to be,” Dean muses. Sam admits that Dean’s good at the Macarena. Ah, yes. My generation!

Dean and Sam reflect on their situation. Their lives are far from normal, so being “normal” is dangerous by its very nature. They need as many advantages as possible, so it’s time for a road trip to Alaska!

The music mounts dramatically! Triumphantly! It’s time to ride into the sunset!

Baby sputters out. “Son of a bitch!” Dean shouts as the screen fades to black.

Natasha: I can tell you IMMEDIATELY and WITHOUT RESERVATION that this episode is going to be on my short list of comfort rewatches for all eternity. <3

Werewolves of Quotedom:

Seriously?

Still a hugger, huh?

You smell so good!

You’re very strong

Fang maintenance is a B

Mommy, the giant’s crying!

I wanna be the guest star. Being the hero sucks.

You need a colonoscopy STAT

Just because God yanked the magic horseshoe out of our ass, doesn’t mean we’re gonna give up

I’m a growing boy!

I think you might be lactose intolerant now

You keep all your friends in a cage?

You know them. You don’t like them. The WINCHESTERS

You are SO STRONG

C4, a hunter’s best friend

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive! 

[irithyll123]

Class 1A Headcanons Part 1

EDIT: Since this post is still getting notes and people are enjoying these I’m going to put these up as well so yall can read in one go :D -- Part 2 / Part 3 / Special edition for bakugou’s b-day 

Some of these might have already been thought of by someone else before but whatever. I'm an insomniac and I got nothing else better to do so let's go:

Bakugou and Uraraka are actually good friends

Though neither would admit that

Todoroki, contrary to what everyone expected, is actually very in touch with internet culture

With his mother gone and siblings largely absent the Internet was a great place to distract himself from the bruises and burns

The first time he memed it shocked the entire class into silence

Even Aizawa was surprised

And yes Aizawa knows memes he interacts with a bunch of 15-16 year old daily how can he not

Plus his husband is Present Mic so its kinda inevitable

It is an unsung rule that whenever Min*ta is on his bullshit you ask Sero to dicipline him

If Sero's not available you go to Bakugou

People try to avoid doing that however as Bakugou tends to overdo it and Aizawa is Tired (tm)

Under no circumstances should you go to Midoriya

While the Broccoli drinks his Respect Women Juice he's too nice to tear into the Grape like he should

Plus no one wants to expose local cinnamon roll Deku to all the cursed stuff that Min*ta says frequently

Ever since moving into the dorms they have tripped the fire alarm a grand total of 107 times. Iida kept count.

Surprisingly only a small fraction of those instances involved Todoroki or Bakugou.

Tokoyami has a lot of night lights in his room cause otherwise Dark Shadow gets rowdy and a Bird Needs Sleep.

He lended Bakugou a couple the first few weeks after Kamino as Bakugou couldnt sleep in the dark.

They don't talk about it. Katsuki is thankful.

Ojirou is the designated "Tooru-whisperer" as he has an uncanny ability to discern Hagakure's moods with almost pinpoint accuracy

Shouji and Tokoyami are together ever since the training camp. Only Koda and Tsuyu are aware and their lips are sealed.

Tsuyu will however, occasionally make comments that ruffle Fumi's feathers and leave the rest of the class confused. She's enjoying herself.

Kaminari doesn't exactly have a thing for Jirou but he kept up the flirting. It's all good fun.

Also Kyouka being a Distinguished Gay for Momo. No one knows other than Kami which makes his mock-flirting even more hilarious between the two of them

It was decided that every Friday night is reserved for "class-bonding"

Bakugou refused to participate the first few times but then Kirishima worked his magic.

It involved a lot of manhandling and puppy looks.

They cook, play board games, watch shitty movies and just generally being the teenagers they are.

Okay only Satou, Bakugou and Shouji ever do the cooking. The rest are completely useless in the kitchen. Aoyama is often selected for taste testing though.

For that matter Kaminari is banned from the kitchen.

(See above regarding fire alarms)

Ashido is the most awful at keeing quiet during movies (Izuku comes second) to the consternation of everyone else. Mainly Bakugou.

She makes up for it by always being the one to bring snacks for movie nights.

In regards to movies - horror and other psychologically disturbing genres are Banned after an unfortunate incident involving Kaminari

(Again, see above for the fire alarm thing)

Ashido is absolutely ruthless at Monopoly. Friendship? Never of heard of her. What is a Bakusquad??

Aoyama is invited to all the girls nights as he has excellent sense regarding skincare

He gives surprisingly good advices too, be they about life in general or relationship stuff

That's it for now. Might add more in the future, who knows. Hope you enjoyed them!

[theadventurek9]

Hello, I was wondering if I could pick your brain a little bit since you are basically doing everything I want to do with my dog. If all goes well, I will hopefully be picking up my Australian cattle dog puppy around Christmas. I know the early puppy stage is super important, but honestly all the information out there is a bit overwhelming. So... What should I focus on for a good foundation? links and resource appreciated.

Of course! I’d love to help! First though, I hope all goes well and you have a nice round fluffball for christmas!

There is so much information out there. I know I was incredibly overwhelmed when I was preparing to get Aayla. I wanted her to be a model citizen and my adventure companion. So I’ll list the things that I did with her I think that shaped her into a stable dog, and some things I wish I would have done differently. Okay so I wrote a lot more than I expected, I’m sorry!

In short, do a lot of socializing your dog to all different people, animals and environments. Crate train, do puppy group classes, use puzzle feeders, and reward your dog for being good! Find groups that train in events you might want to do. Volunteer, attend trials and so on. Even better if you can crate and walk around your dog way before they trial at other practices and trials. Let your dog sniff on a long line for walks. Don’t do any jumping/repetitive activity until full grown. Have fun!

If you wanted the long answer!

Research the breed! Know what you are getting! Talk to people who have raised cattle dog puppies. Whether that be the breeder, someone here on tumblr, or so on. I know that we both have herders so the main thing that is common is the nipping! They are bred to bite ankles, they are bred to snap at things that get into their face. Watch videos of working cattle dogs. Herders like to feel like they are in control and like to put animals in their place. Be prepared to walk around with a toy in your pocket. Redirect redirect redirect! Cattle dogs are a hard tempered breed, they tend to be opinionated! So you may have to work harder with socializing and basic husbandry more than your happy golden. Yet they are fun dogs! I’ve always liked them. If you’re looking into getting into dog sports or adventuring they thrive in it!

Crate training Do it. Its something you will use like crazy if you get into dog sports. It will give you peace of mind, helps potty training, and helps a dog learn to settle.

Socializing Okay so I’m constantly doing research on this. With my next puppy I will do some things the same and some things different. I want to my puppy to experience a lot of different people. Adults, kids, babies, elderly, men, women, people in uniform, people with walkers, and everything I can think of. Yet that doesn’t mean I want everyone saying hello and playing with my puppy. If I had another confident puppy I would err on the side of really polite people, who will listen to rules, can reward for sits, and maybe some petting if the puppy can remain calm. No jumping, no over aroused mental state. A nervous or shy puppy, can get food rewards dropped around the people they are unsure of, but are never forced to interact. Puppy doesn’t want to be pet, puppy does not get pet. Yet in general, just being around all these people while getting ignored. Great places for this are parks with playgrounds, home depot, lowes, breweries (non busy hours), coffee shop patios, neighborhood schools when kids get out, and any other dog friendly locations. As for dog socializing, the more I learn the more I find that puppy class socializing is not ideal. Find friendly, calm OLDER dogs (3+ years) for your puppy to interact with. Older dogs that are willing to correct without harming or terrifying your puppy. If you don’t have access to that, then do try to find a puppy socializing class. Your puppy should be around (but doesn’t have to play!) with a lot of different dogs.

Let your dog, be a dog. Let your dog sniff on walks, get a long line and give them some freedom. Let them explore and discover their world and not feel so confined to your side. If you have safe areas that you can let your dog off leash, (and you know they won’t take off) I’m a big advocate that off leash walking is really healthy for your dog’s mental health. But that being said, your dog should not bother any other person or dog. So make sure you have enough awareness of your soundings and a good enough recall to leash them when you are around others. Be safe, and I’m not telling you to break leash laws. If you can’t off leash, then long line is amazing!

Loose leash training started with Aayla the moment she came home pretty much. People often start way later and let their dog yank them around. I started around the house and back yard. If she pulled, I simply didn’t walk until she loosened the leash herself. I also rewarded walking with me, at my speed heavily. Aayla has pretty great leash manners 90% of the time.

Kibble in a bowl is a waste Kongs, puzzle feeders, snuffle mats, pupcicles and training are all ways Aayla ate as a puppy. Everyday I measured out the amount of food she should be eating, then had one bowl with a little of that kibble for every room in my house that Aayla had access too. Whenever I saw a behavior I liked from her, I had rewards close by to give to her. I rewarded chewing on toys, settling, laying on her bed, calling her name and she came to me...and so on. Then the rest of food was given in kongs or puzzle feeders when I couldn’t watch her and she needed to be in a playpen or crate.

Puppy classes I already mentioned I’m not the biggest fan of the puppy crazy play time. Yet if done well the play can be good. There should be short sessions of play with lots a toys and things to explore. It shouldn’t just be an empty room where all the puppies do is wrestle with each other. But I do have to say that getting into puppy obedience classes is really good for your dog. Aayla attended group classes her whole first year. We didn’t need help learning the basics, it was an opportunity for Aayla to learn to work with me in a distracting environment with other dogs and people around.

Find a community. So whatever sports your want to do, find clubs and trainers early. See if they have puppy level classes. They will help with a lot of the early stuff if they are good. Offer to volunteer at events! If you can bring your puppy (after 4 month vax) and have them crated at classes, events and trials. They will be a pro by the time you actually are ready to show yourself! Walk them around trials, and get them used to the environment. Plus let me tell you, getting into dog sports is SO MUCH EASIER when you have people that know whats going on to help you.

Don’t rush it - Spend a lot of time just enjoying your puppy. Go on leisurely walks, play together, not everything has to be super intense training. You have to wait for a lot of stuff for after their growth plates fuse anyways! So no jumping higher than their elbows, and no consistent jumping until after a year at least. Save any repetitive movement (like weave poles, playing strenuous fetch (think chuck-it stick until dog is tired)) until after a year as well. 

Keep it positive - Your puppy has no idea whats right and wrong. They are not (and never will) do anything out of spite or to get you back. They just don’t know what you want or how to be a good dog. So its important to have a lot of patience to help shape them into mature dogs. Reward reward reward. If you are able to ignore your puppy, they should be getting rewarded. The more fun you make training, the more fun it will be and the more your dog will want to work with you. 

Okay so I can’t think of anything else right now, though I’m sure I’m missing a lot. If you know what sports/activities you’re interested in I can give more details on those as well! Otherwise here are some resources for you!

+After You get your puppy - Ian Dunbar (Pretty great details on most common things, good read)

https://www.dogstardaily.com/files/downloads/AFTER_You_Get_Your_Puppy.pdf

+Fenzi classes are great! For a new puppy I’d look at a lot of the foundation classes. 

They have a self study that is: Raising a Performance Puppy

https://www.fenzidogsportsacademy.com/index.php/courses/24

Kikopup on youtube has some great puppy videos!

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLF26FD559887E7EA4

If you let me know what else you’re trying to get into sport wise I can provide more resources too! 

Podcasts : Drinking from the Toilet and Cogdog Radio 

[howanimestuffworks]

Now it’s time for something a little bit out of the ordinary and a little bit different. We all know that at this point in time the world is out of sorts so it’s nice to have that little ray of sunshine every now and again. Luckily for me that ray of sunshine just gotten bigger with me being nominated for the Sunshine Blogger Award!  

I made my first couple of graphics! I think they turned out good!

Like always we have to begin with the rules:

Thank the person who nominated you and provide a link to their blog so that other people can visit them.

Answer the 11 questions put to you by the nominator.

Nominate 11 bloggers of your choosing and provide them with a new set of 11 questions to answer.

Notify the nominees by commenting on one of their blog posts.

List the rules and display The Sunshine Blogger Award logo within your post or on your blog site.

The person that nominated me for the Sunshine Blogger Award was no other then Pinkie from Pinkie’s Paradise, who is one of the many active bloggers I know and has helped me come out of my shell and try and blog more then keep hiding away!

I always love reading Pinkie’s new posts and look forward to any new ones that pop up, I will recommend checking her blog out as her blog is just so CUTE! Especially with all the restyling she has done! (I so need to know how she managed to get a animated background working on her blog!) Anyway onto my answers and if you need any directions to Pinkie’s site just click here!

I am a tad late getting this done (along with everything else hahaha) but I really reaaaally needed to get my training for work completed otherwise my manager will literally murder me with a spatula!

I mean she would if she could, is it even possible to be murdered by a spatula? 

  Q: Have you ever cosplayed, if yes.. what’s your best cosplay? If no what would you cosplay if you could?

Sadly no, I never had enough money to spend on the materials I would need for my cosplay, nor have I had the confidence to pull of a cosplay, I am very self conscious about my body and hate the fact that I still have some “puppy fat” at 33 years old.  Even though I am pretty much self conscious about my body I would still push myself out of my comfort zone and cosplay some of my favourite characters.

There’s a little list of cosplays I would love to pull off from my favourite anime and games, Zelda from The Legend of Zelda series, Hitomi Kanzaki from the Vision of Escaflowne and Chibi Usa from Sailor Moon being three that I would love to go for!

  Aren’t these girls cool! 

Bonus Pic!

Kinda scary shoving Pinkie Pies head on Chibi Usa, give me the willies!  

 Q: What is the least geeky thing about you?

What is the least geeky thing about me…man this one is so so hard! Hahaha! I think the least geeky thing about is that I love love to go for long walks! I just go where my feet take me!

Q: If your life was ever turned into an anime, what type of anime would it be?

Hmm.. I think it would be a dramatic slice of life shoujo that would depict me failing adulthood severely and kinda boring…until my life goes from boring to eventful where I’m transported to another realm to go saving the world with my babble of followers that consist of my favourite characters who somehow got dumped in said realm along with me, and blamed me for that happening cause I had to go poking that portal till it exploded and sucked us all in!

It would all fall on Van and Chise to try and find us a way home without me screwing everything up in the process!!

This was fun to make I gotta admit that, plus I just couldn’t stop laughing!!!

Q:  If your life was ever turned into a video game, what type of game it would be?

It most probably be the same as the anime adaption just more in depth and set out like a JPRG!

Chise would be a perfect character to take the Healer position considering one of her abilities is creating medicine in Mahoutsukai no Yome (The Ancient Magus Bride).

Van would be taking the warrior class, mainly swordsman as he is quite adaptable when equipped with his own sword, though I can picture him cursing his head off about the amount of times I died throughout our adventure.

Hitomi would be our visionary, she can predict things before they happen through visions even though some do take a mental impact on her.

Duo is pretty good at stealth so I can picture him using that to his advantage with some pretty good stealth kills when we cannot attack outright.

Heero is more melee so would just attack outright but he is also good at physical combat and can use that to his advantage.

Luffy would be similar to Heero and would create a good tag team with him.

 Q: If you’d have to choose any other archetype but geek, what would you want to be?

I would be a story teller, one of my goals is to be an author and have my own set of YA Fantasy books out there in the world! It would be a big achievement for me in my life, I have a few brainstorms going on some of the characters but I’m keeping that a secret for now..Suuuush..

I would love to be a well known author and have alot of people adoring my stories and characters!!

 Q: What’s the worst thing you have ever done to a friend?

The worst thing I did to a friend is throw a book at them! I do treat my friends with alot of respect and never treat them all badly, but this friend of mine (who is now my boyfriend, strange things happened ya know) just would not be quiet so I could read, all he ever did was natter away to me and then the book went flying at him…I regret that so much…

 Q: What is your favourite alcoholic beverage and tell us about when you had too much of it.

Believe it or not I have not had one ounce of alcohol pass my lips ever, so I never had any drunk stories to tell. (Which is ironic considering I work in a pub!) It’s mainly tied to my past, I’ve seen what alcohol can do to a person and sadly I was a victim of that, my dad is a severe alcoholic and he used to abuse me, my siblings and my mother, so I never ever touched the stuff.

It’s still quite hard to talk about as it affected me my entire life in so many ways.

 Q: How would you take over the world, in a world of endless possibilities? Be evil!

Firstly I would destroy all the world leaders and then brain wash everyone across the globe to do my bidding and make my cat their supreme leader!! (come on who doesn’t want to be ruled over by an evil kitty!)

I would then force people to constantly pick up litter (mainly because I am so sick of people dumping litter everywhere) and to become my cats slaves and servants and imprison their families if they refused!!!

Okay I’ll admit I am so bad at being evil…

 Q: Which anime character you think could stop the you from question 8.

Can I pick two…I can picture Usagi Tsukino and Sakura Kinomoto tag teaming and defeating me and my kitty! Me and my lovely Videl would pass in each others arms and live a happy and evil afterlife where we destroy Satan and take his throne and become rulers of hell!!

I think they would make a great team!

 Q: Which anime characters would be the henchmen to the you from question 8.

I would brain wash the best of the best to become my henchmen! The Prince of all Sayain’s – Vegeta and of course Goku would be mine and Videl’s guards! Piccolo and Gohan would lead my mighty army!

But they may have a tough time with this lot…we shall see if Usagi and Sakura come up triumphant! 

 Q: If you could make one true wish, but it had to be at least  somewhat selfish, what would it be?

If I could make one wish for myself it would be to be a millionaire and live in a posh mansion that has a pool with all my cats! They would have their own rooms and have luxurious beds like I would! They would also have loads and loads of toys and their own pool side loungers!!!

I’ll be the new kid on the block!

What is the most geeky thing about you?

What is the next Anime that you are planning to watch?

If you could write out your life story, how would that story go?

What was the saddest Anime scene you have watched?

What was the best thing you have done for a friend?

What were your plans this year before the pandemic?

If you could pilot a mech or Gundam, which one would it be?

If you could marry an anime or video game character, who would it be?

Tell me about the last game you have played?

Is there a character out there that is most similar to you?

Last book you have read? 

Truthfully I don’t know that many people considering I’m the new kid on the block within the anime blogging community, I’m basing my nominations based on the few people that I have come to know within the anime blogging community recently.

I’m sorry if you were already picked!!! 

Mari from Starting Life At Zero Who’s brave posts really are inspiring to me and has helped me understand alot of things lately.

Roki Bloop from Secluded Observations who actually stumbled across my blog on twitter and introduced me to a few more bloggers, if it wasn’t for Roki I wouldn’t even be doing the Sunshine Blogger Award at all!

Nabe-Chan from Geek Nabe Another lovely person that I have been interacting with on twitter and has a lovely blog!

Pinkie from Pinkie’s Paradise I am so getting you back! hahaha! Pinkie is so awesome and has such a cute and funny blog!

Steph from Two Happy Cats another blogger that I’ve been following on wordpress since I created my old account.

Kiritonarukami from KiritoNarukami One of the newer bloggers that I stumbled across on here lately.

Mike from Gaming and God Another blogger I’ve stumbled across lately who’s blog consists of not only Anime and Manga reviews but also Gaming reviews!

Lesley from Lesley’s Anime and Manga Corner Another Anime and Manga blogger that I have discovered 🙂

Odyssey from LOFZ ODYSSEY ANIME REVIEWS Another cool blogger that I’ve discovered!

Jiraiyan from Otaku Orbit is one of the two bloggers that I’ve been following on wordpress since I created my old account. (I actually have two accounts but liked the name of this one more.)

Okay I stole this idea from Pinkie but I needed a reason to use this wallpaper!

PS: If you would love to be nominated then you can if you answer this question about me, who is the character I am using throughout my blog? 

    A Pony With Sunburn Is Not A Good Look: The Sunshine Blogger Award! #anime #otaku #blogger #animeblog #blogging Now it's time for something a little bit out of the ordinary and a little bit different.

[gabriellapatterson-blog]

The Dog Days.

A/N: Thank you so much for rps @benjaminschreave and @christopherschreave make sure to check out @the-dogs-of-illea

I sat at my desk leaning back and forth as I read Emma’s letter. I had mentioned in a past one that I had no clue what the heck I was doing with this whole dating thing. She gave three tips:

Wait for him to kiss you first. Don’t be desperate even if he is a prince you’re still the Queen.

Remember relationships are a two way street. Make sure he meets your standards too.

Don’t show him Mr Cuddles.

Knock out deal breakers. DON’T BE PICKY THOUGH. If he doesn’t like peanut butter than you shouldn’t drop out because of that!

I rolled my eyes. Yes Emma obviously peanut butter is a worthy cause to leave the selection. I mean peanut butter cookies, peanut butter toast, peanut butter sandwiches, it’s a magic tool. What other deal breakers would I have though? I guess if he didn’t like family, my family or his. I can’t really test that though. If he was racist? Well I already know he’s not from political interviews. I sighed and laid down in my bed. I wish I could go surfing. That always helps me get ideas. Breakfast will be soon though. Only an hour left till I’m supposed to be awake.

I sighed and walked to my balcony. At least I had a view of the ocean. I closed my eyes and sat down on the floor and just breathed. It’s okay, dating is confusing and new, you shouldn’t know everything yet. Alright. What do you love about daily life? Let’s start there. I walked back to my room and grabbed a notepad and pen.

Waking up early and smelling the morning air too picky to be a deal breaker 

Eating toast  too picky

Running Maybe?

Surfing. Already know he likes it.

Gregory too specific

DOGS!

The idea hit. He needed to like dogs! Really most animals but I could settle for dogs! I can’t just ask him if he likes dogs though, what if he hasn’t had a dog or has only had a bad dog. He might not even know. I paced from one side of the room to the other as I thought. How could I test it? Then the idea hit. I was going to have a date that would go down in history. I smirked as I darted out of my room and made my way to find someone to help. I needed a laptop.

My leg bounced up and down at breakfast. Oh God oh god. I was going to break a rule I could get in so much trouble for this. I watched the kind and waited as he stood up from breakfast. I counted the seconds before I stood as well and followed him at a distance. At least this was an excuse to take those heels off.

He made his way into the library. Oh God I needed to say something. What if he was doing some super secret important stuff that I wasn’t supposed to see what if- OW!

“OH F-UDGE!” I yelped almost cussing but managing to catch myself as I stubbed my bare foot on a library shelf. I mean everyone cusses when they hit their foot. It feels like someone’s just bashed it with a hammer. Though, the king was right there. As my possible future father in law I really couldn’t cuss infron- well behind him.

I had fallen on my bum from hitting my foot. Gosh I need to stop meeting royals on my bum in the library. First Ben now his dad. His dad spun to face me now glancing down at me on the floor.

“Hello Mr King. I would curtsy but as I'm already on the floor I don't think I can go much lower.” I said speaking quickly. Oh no. I’m too nervous. Oh gosh I’m gonna ramble. Don’t ramble, Gabby. Don’t. Ramble. Gabby.

He blinked seeming shocked at the girl who had been stalking him then just fell on their bum, laughed a little bit then offered me his hand, “Lady... Gabriella if i remember correctly?” He asked.

Oh no. Don’t ramble, gabby. Do not ramb- “Uh hi yup. I'm Gabriella Rose Marie Patterson from Angeles I'm a three, I like to surf and play with animals. You are Mr King King Christopher Schreave. Your a king. You do Kingly things.....anyways, I have a reason I don't normally just follow people around. I wouldn't say stalking is one of my hobbies. Clearly not or I would probably be better at it and wouldn't hit my toe on bookcases. Though, that may come down to just poor walking skills not really stalking skills-anyways, point point I have a point how do I phrase this, gosh I'm wasting so much of your time.”  OH GOSH DARNIT.

He listened to my ramble before I finished then waited a moment to be sure I was done before politely smiling and gesturing to a table. “Would you prefer if we sat down, Lady Gabriella?”

“Uh sure yes if you have the time. I have a proposition I'd like to make.” I sighed finally getting out what I needed to say.

“We'll see how that goes.” He said and walked me over to a table. Oh he probably thinks this is something serious. I hope he won't be mad. He did make a vine reference at breakfast the other day though.

“I have a few minutes to spare.” He added.

“Alright okay okay. So don't laugh but here's my pitch. I want to do a date with your son that's just playing with dogs. I've heard dogs aren't allowed to stay here and that's horrible-” He scoffed in amusement at my dread of the no dogs rule.

“-but it would just be for one date and I could put them all in the ballroom there's like 65 on the organization I looked at. The dogs and puppies would have so much fun and it would be like the best thing ever.” I finished.

“Well, just so you know, I couldn't have 35 pets roaming around the palace in case everyone had one, but I really have nothing against dogs.” He said then leaned back in his seat.

“What organization are you getting all these pups from again?” He asked.

“Oh it's a no kill dog shelter called furkids. All of them have been cleaned for lice, vaccinated, and neutered.” I explained quickly my research from this morning. If this was going to be a royal sponsored event I needed to make sure the organization had a good background. Wouldn’t want to publicize a puppy mill.

He scratched his beard as he thought intensely over my idea. Must be an agonizing choice. “65 dogs? All in the ballroom?”

“They can fit! Half are puppies.” I assured him.

He chuckled, “I'm sure they would. Can you assure me this won't end up in a mess? Are they trained?”

“It will not end in a mess. They are potty trained and if they do make a mess I have a dog. I will clean it up.” I added. I really wanted to make this happen and I was willing to do as much as I could to get this through. I’m nothing if not persistent.  

“Sounds like you've got this all covered. I hope this date is with my son, otherwise it would be awkward.” I smiled and giggled a bit at his concern.

“Nope it's with sir Lancelot.” I replied sarcastically before quickly clarifying.

“no no it is with Benjamin. I just want to be sure he likes dogs as much as I do since it's not like relationships are a one sided thing. I have my own priorities a partner must meet and dogs are just one of them.” I explained.

He raised an eyebrow amused, “Oh, he likes dogs, don’t worry. Just don’t feed him lettuce and keep him away from birds and you‘ll be fine.”

“Birds? That's a weird phobia. Was he attacked as a child?” I asked with a chuckle.

He thought for a moment, “By a tarantula once... But that‘s clearly not the story you want. You want birds, which was later on. He wasn’t precisely attacked by them, rather than... chased. Not in a particularly menacing way, but he was scared. When they.. “dropped their load” on him it didn’t help if you know what I mean.”

I couldn’t help but laugh at the image of it. I had read he had a pure hatred of the birds. I had been wondering but thought it would have been something much more aggressive than that. The tarantula story sounds more traumatizing. “Oh my gosh! WOW! I mean I guess that could be traumatizing. How old was he?” I asked.

“Around ten or so. Not the best day in the gardens.” I talked with father for a little longer about Ben and the birds until we finally hit a point of bargaining.

I could bring the dogs to the palace if the king was allowed to take one to surprise Isobel. It seemed like a great idea so I gleefully agreed. Great! Now 3/6 royals met! Just Queen Isobel and the princesses. So far they all seemed like a wonderful family, but I wanted to know all of them before I was as committed as I would need to be at the end of the selection.

I waited a few hours for the dogs to be brought in then helped them get uncaged in the ballroom. Maybe I should have waited until after I had prince Ben to uncage them? No. They seemed so sad trapped in those little boxes. Plus it gave me a head start on knowing them. I picked up a big fluffball of a dog named mashed potato who the King had requested and had a maid make sure he got up there. She seemed delighted with the task.

I carefully exited the ballroom and made my way for prince Ben’s room. I felt giddy about my idea. Then suddenly a little anxiety hit. Gosh what if he thinks I’m a crazy dog lady. Well, at least it’s better than a crazy cat lady. Plus this is just who I am. He understands it or he doesn’t.

I had to stop for just a second before I knocked on his door. My heart was racing just a little bit. Now I remember what having a crush is like. I then grinned after I inhaled and knocked on his door. “Aye Benny boy! It's Gabriella.” I said. Oh whoops I bet the whole hall heard me.

He opened the door with an amused expression, “Do you always greet people like that?”

“Perhaps. I don't normally think too much about how I greet people.” I paused and smiled proudly thinking about all of the work I had put into this date. It was almost time to see his expression at all the dogs. I couldn’t help but to teeter totter on my heels just a bit. Though I had been scolded for doing so as it was not ‘lady like’.

“I have an amazing surprise for you!” I started then took his hand ready to lead him to the ballroom.

“Whatever you're doing stop because this will be the best experience of your life if you come with me.”

His brow raised slightly, “Best experience of my life? That’s quite a promise, Gabby gal.”

“I 100% promise it. I will like give you all of my shoes if not. So will you come?” I said unsure for a moment of what to promise him. Though I knew I would win I would still love to get rid of all of these heels.

“Your shoes? What would I do with those?”

“No idea. You could wear them or use them for a prank and switch all of Wyatt's shoes with them. Anything really.” Little known fact about me. I’m a genius at pranking. For April fools one year purchased one of those cheap sets of like 1000 tiny army men for like five bucks. While she was asleep I placed them all over her house, in her shoes, in her pantry, cupboards, between the sofa cushions. She still finds them.

I noticed him closing the door and took it to mean he was going to come, “Great! Follow me.” I said and turned around. I slid my hand into a pocket on my dress to pull out a map. I had asked my maids if they could start putting pockets in my dresses and was very pleased that they agreed. My head maid Angelina said it was just going to be a designing challenge. I liked her competitive nature.

Ben curiously looked over at my map, “You know I suggested this to someone the other day.” He said. Makes sense. This is a very complicated house to get through.

We talked for a bit more about the size of the palace relating it to my very tiny village. Next we ended up talking about my family until we finally made it to the ballroom. I sneakily got into the room so he wouldn’t be able to see anything.

“Am I going to be kidnapped and thrown into the back of a van?” He asked from the hall.

“Yes that is totally it!” I replied back sarcastically. Some of the dogs began barking for attention as there was a person now there who was NOT petting them yet.

He then walked in and looked down at me in pure shock. I suppose it’s reasonable that he wasn’t expecting this. “Um... what?”

“Well well..my friend Emma said that when you start dating someone, which this kinda is dating someone, you should find out things called deal breakers and one of mine is people who don't like dogs. And some people say they don't like dogs but really what they mean is "i've met 1 mean dog" so i wanted to know if you like dogs.” I said trailing off as a very small puppy ran up to Ben and started trying to climb his leg.

“LOOK AT HIM OHMYGOSH.” I couldn’t help but to lose it at the tiny puppy trying so hard for attention.

Ben leaned down and picked up the puppy that had to be only two or three months old, “Oh my god, is this even real?” He asked as he made his way to the center of dog heaven a smile growing on his face.

“Yup yup 100% real. I talked to your dad and convinced him to say yes. It's not forever though. But was I right is this the greatest experience of your life? Puppy and dog world? It's like a theme park.”

“This is incredible.” He said with a laugh and looked around at all of the dogs before turning his attention back to me.

“Wait, my dad helped you with this?” He asked.

“Well I got him to agree to it. I don't wanna lose the credit since I did find the organization. They're from a very good no kill dog shelter. It's a local business from Angeles. DO YOU SEE THAT PUPPER WITH THE BIG FLOPPY EARS OH MY GOSH THE FELLOW IS CHASING HIS WITTLE TAIL!” I said getting distracted by the cute puppies.

“What’s with conspiring with my parents?” He asked with a chuckle and shook his head, “Those ears are the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.”

“Just 1 parent. I needed permission.” I said then got the best idea ever and just plopped down on the ground.

“Come to me!” I said summoning the dogs. About four came over, one even started giving me puppy kisses causing me to giggle a bit as I pet them.

“I can’t believe you managed to pull this off.” I heard Ben say, my vision blocked by all the cute dogies.

“I'm amazing at arguing.” I replied then sat up and started stroking some of their heads.

“aren't you a cute little baby? I bet that all of these dogs are going to be adopted so quickly now too. They can advertise them as 'pet by the prince' and then all these puppies will have homes.”

“I'll personally make sure each of these dogs gets adopted.” He seemed pleased with the thought.

“I can help and make a list of each of the dogs. I've started learning some of their names. Such as the pupper you are petting right now is Chocolate Milk. He likes to drink chocolate milk though it makes him very sick.” I introduced.

Ben then scratched his ear and leaned in closer to chocolate milk, “Chocolate. Delicious, I know the temptation, but very bad for you.”

I chuckled a bit at Ben being cute with the dog, there was just a lot of cuteness going on in this room. I stood up and brushed some of the dog hair off to start with the rest of the introductions.

“That one is peep because he really likes the story of little bo peep, that one is pepper because she looks like a black pepper. That one is McPickles because he looks like a pickle, and last one I know that is Sunshine because his smile makes you feel as happy as sitting in the warm sun. OH!” I said and suddenly remembered the best perk this shelter had. A new nameless puppy who was only a month old at most. He had his little eyes opened but was about the size of my hand. Just a little bit bigger. I walked over to the small sleepy baby and took him back to Ben and sat down to let the puppy sleep in my lap.

“this little fellow doesn't have a name yet. They said we could pick one.” I said and began to pet his head softly as he napped in my lap. I felt my heart melt as I saw his little sleepy eyes, his paws just resting on my thigh as my legs were folded underneath myself.

“Hmmm I would say sleepy as a suggestion but that might limit us to snow white and the seven dwarf names.” I chuckled as I pet his soft little ears. I was already getting too close to him already.

“You're right though about the dopey appearance.” I replied smiling softly down at the dog.

“You're a sleepy little dopey dog aren't you?” I asked in a soft higher pitch voice as I squished one of his paws lightly.

We finally agreed on dopey and I had to turn to ask for him to be kept aside. Dopey was going to be my new puppy. If I was at the palace or at home didn’t matter, but I couldn’t let him get adopted during the selection. Selected weren’t allowed to have their pets so I guess he’ll just have to wait for his mommy at the shelter.

Ben offered to let me keep him at the palace but we finally decided that really wouldn’t be fair. Other selected couldn’t have their pets, there was no reason I should be excluded from that rule. I watched Ben playing with chocolate milk with a smile as I pet dopey. I could see this being a good life for me. Petting dogs with the boy I have a crush on and am kind of dating. Ughs the word dating made my heart flutter. Though I kind of was. This was a date. It’s not like we would be dating after this. The selection ends with marriage. But whatever Ben and I were I was happy with it. We were getting along, he was funny, we had nice conversations, and we were both having fun petting adorable dogs. This date was a success.

“Chocolate Milk really does seem to like you. Maybe after feeling such a connection he'll take his chocolate problems more seriously.” I joked with a soft chuckle.

He looked at chocolate milk with a serious look, “No more, you hear me? I need you alive and well for when I convince my parents to adopt you.”

I laughed at him talking to the dog, “His addiction will be defeated by love. A true Disney story. Chocolate Milk and his adventure with chocolate.”

“I'd watch the hell out of that.” He laughed as he pet chocolate milk.

“So your dad told me you were traumatized as a child?” I said deciding now would be a good time to bring up his bird vendetta.

“Which time?” He asked in a dry amused tone.

“Well. He brought up your bird trauma specifically. I'm surprised you even go outside after that.” I joked.

I debated with him for a little longer since I found some birds adorable. Like those ones with the really puffy chests that just look like balls of feathers and have tiny cute little beaks. Finally, I decided I would just have to give and bring an army of birds to the palace instead.

“Let's agree to disagree, poop boy.” I joked switching out the benny in benny boy to poop off of our topic.

“I really hope that one doesn't catch.”

I rolled my eyes, “Don't worry it won't.” Suddenly Dopey got up and started to stretch. Nap time must be over. He jumped up and ran off to go play with some of the other puppies who were tackling each other. They grow up so fast.

“Play safely, young one!” I said to him as he ran off, a yellow golden retriver gladdly frolicing over to replace his attention.

In contrast, Chocolate Milk was looking pretty sleepy. He started to curl up against Ben as he got more pets, “If I don't leave in the next five minutes, this guy is the one in danger of being kidnapped.”

I chuckled, “just gotta remember the ethics and rules, Ben. No kidnapping. His brothers and sisters might miss him.”

He frowned teasingly, “But I’d miss him more.” He then chuckled as he pet Chocolate Milk.

“Maybe you can get your dad in here later to try and convince him to fall in love with chocolate milk and let him stay.” I suggested. His dad seemed to like the idea of the dogs earlier. Though Mashed Potato may have already won him over.

“Funny enough I can see that happening.” He said with a small laugh.

“If you really love him you should try. It would be normal for you to have a pet where as with the rest of us there would suddenly be a demand for 35 pets.” I argued in favor of Chocolate Milk. Truthfully, I’d love for their to be a dog at the palace. I’ve really missed Gregory.

He looked down at chocolate milk, “I’ll see what I can work out.”

“I'm going to be on edge until I know if chocolate milk will be a permanent resident. I'll go ahead and make some welcome home cards just in case though.” I said.

He laughed, “If there’s any developments, you’ll be the first to know.” He said.

“Have I ever told you about my dog Gregory?” I asked.

“Gregory... pretty adult name for a dog.”

“It fits his personality perfectly. This morning I went through my letters from home and I had one from my sister Eliana who apparently got him a new blanket for his doggy bed. Now we thought pink as an acceptable color. Apparently it is not. He only likes salmon colored things so the hot pink blanket was ripped up and thrown by him near the trash can. He likes only the lavish things of dog life and refuses anything other than the exceptional. He's a very funny dog.” I said rambling off a little bit.   

He chuckled, “An incredible dog, being color blind and still knowing the difference between shades of pink.”

“Probably can see the different shades of gray. He's very funny. I wonder if he and Dopey will get along. Maybe he'll teach Dopey how to be snooty.”

“I could learn a thing or two from him about being snooty.”

I chuckled, “Why? Are you eager to fit into the royalty stereotype?” I teased.

He shuged teasingly and adjusted his suit jacket, “I’ve heard it’s helpful in certain situations.”

“Like when you're at a restaurant and they give you the wrong order but you're too scared you'll come off as snooty so you eat the burrito anyways even though you ordered it without tomatoes because you're allergic.” I said being a little too specific.

His brow raised, “Speaking from experience?”

We talked for a little bit more about the tomato burrito story until we finally got to the topic of my tomato ‘allergy’.

“I used to be able to eat tomatoes but then when I was little I snuck into the kitchen and ate so many I got sick. Never been the same again.”

“You know I'm surprised I haven't done the same to myself with chocolate.” Ah sweets. I wasn’t even allowed to have them until I was 16. Mom said they would make me perform poorly in school.

“Do you like all kinds of chocolate or just milk?” I asked.

“All. I like milk with caramel mostly, but any that I can find works for me.” Wimp.  I like BLACK chocolate.

“Do you like it super super dark?” I asked testing his tastes just a little.

“Like my coffee, absolutely.” I smiled almost approvingly as he had passed the test. Suddenly more dogs came over to Ben which made me pout.

“How come the dogs keep coming to you? Puppies?” I called to them then saw Dopey running back to me which made me smile. Awww he cares about me.

“I guess you could call me a great dog person.” He chuckled and pet the dogs head. Drop everything. That was the worst delivery of a joke I have ever heard. I didn’t even pick up on it for a moment.

I rolled my eyes, “was that just a great dane joke?”

He grinned, “So you caught it.”

“Alright, benjamin. It's time to teach you one of my skills as comedy master. Comedic pausing. This one makes you seem more like a loser but its effective. Between the A and a great dog person you should have held a like 3 second pause so it would have been "you could call me a...great dog person." It builds suspense.”

“And then put emphasis on 'dog?'” He asked collaborating.

“Hmm maybe. That might be a little too much but let’s try again and see how it sounds. Take it from the top.” I said trying to picture how the delivery would sound.

He paused for a moment and cleared his throat, “I guess you could call me a... great dog person. How'd I do?” He asked.

Dopey seemed to love his joked as his tail began to wag. We talked for a bit and joked about Ben being the king of comedy and already had a number one fan. Though being both the king of comedy and the king of comedy was a little extreme. He watched the dogs for a moment before speaking up, “I should probably go. This was a nice break though.”

“Oh right I did interrupt you when I pulled you into dog heaven.” I chuckled as I moved Dopey up off of my lap to stand up and brush some of the dog fur off. I then offered a hand to Ben, “Do I owe you any shoes?”

“Not a single one. This was an amazing experience.” He said with a smile as he took my hand.

“Heh I'm glad.” I said then offered my arm to him, “and since I started it this time I'll walk you back to your room.” I stated with a smile.

A brow quirked up, “That’s a first.” He said with a chuckle and accepted my arm.

“Well I believe in equality. You did so last time I do so this time. Alright time to pull out my map again. Bye bye Dopey!.” I said and used my other arm to reach my hand into my pocket for the map. He reached over with his free hand and placed it on top of mine.

“Why don’t you let me guide us back?” He suggested. I felt a little flustered when I felt his hand on my own since I wasn't expecting it but looked up at him with a smile.

“Alright. You lead, I provide arm support and company.” I joked.

“Strongest girl around, remember?” He joked and poked my upper arm.

I laughed a bit as he did so, “Be careful, schreave. You're poking the most dangerous guns of all time there.”  

“That's probably a bit of a stretch.” He said with a laugh. Time to be a goof again. This is why you don’t have a boyfriend Gabby. Well you kinda don’t have a boyfriend.

“Not at all. You have no idea the damage that could be done if they were freed. Lucky for civilization I keep them under control.” See this is where a normal girl would have giggled and agreed it was just a stretch and flirted or something. Instead a goof like Gabby says things like this to her crush.

“What kind of damage are we talking about?”

“Like gaston levels of danger. Just women and men swooning. Falling everywhere. The economy would collapse because everyone would be too busy swoony at my amazing guns. End of illea kinda danger. I'm a hero for keeping them under control.” A disney reference, really? Are you twelve, Gabby?

“Well then I thank you for your honorable service to Illéa.”

I couldn’t help but chuckle at his serious response, “You are very welcome. See I'm not just a freeloader, I'm also a national hero. The prince himself even thanked me.”

“A national Illéan, saving the lives of puppies and princes one day at a time. Should be your catchphrase.” He suggested with a grin.

After catchphrases we moved onto superheros and ended up chatting until we reached his door. It felt like our conversation wasn’t over yet but we would need to stop talking eventually.

“I like that. Coolest dynamic duo Illéa's ever seen.” He said as we reached his door.

“Yup. We deserve our own superhero movie about us.” I said then let go of his arm.

“I would ask more about details of our heroes backstories since im sure their thrilling but I don't wanna keep you from your work not to mention standing in front of your door for too long so backstory planning will have to wait for another time.” I said and smiled up at him. I wondered for a moment what to do. We determined last time that we were ready for hugs so I suppose I could hug him goodbye? Should I start it though or should I wait mayb-

My thoughts were interrupted by a sudden kiss on my cheek. “Thanks for the doggy day, Gabby protector.” He said using my superhero name.

I’m not sure how but I didn’t run and hide after. I’m sure I would have by now if this was like when I had a crush on Jonathan but this felt different. Instead of being so nervous I wanted to hide, with Ben I just wanted to spend more time with him. I have no idea where the guts came from but I stood up on my tiptoes, arms around his shoulder to help support myself and returned the cheek kiss with a cheek kiss on his cheek.

“You're very welcome, B.O.S. Good luck with working.” I replied using his hero name as well.

He chuckled back at me and opened his door to go back into his room, “Good luck with all that dog poop.” He replied with a wave to which I just rolled my eyes.

“Thanks, benny boy.” I replied with a small wave and decided to start heading back in the direction we came to go back to the dog room where I would be spending the day with a grin on my face from both dogs and pride at giving him a kiss back, even if it was just on the cheek. It was progress, I had guts, I knew how I felt, and I was more than happy.

[eventually-write]

Gunpowder and Garlic Bread

Request?: Yes (@axelwolf8109 )

Prompt: Jason’s first date

Fandom: Batfam

Pair: Jason Todd x Reader

Word Count: 1,538

Warnings: Cursing, canon-typical violence

Jason panted as he was pushed up against a wall, his back stinging comfortably at the bite of pain. He smirked at the person in front of him who was holding him there.

“You know, I usually wait until the third date before I let someone pin me down like this,” he smirked, pushing the drug dealer with enough force to knock him to the ground. He pulled out his pistol from his holster and shot the thigh of the goon running towards him. The bulky man shouted in pain as he crumbled to the floor just as Red Hood realized the main boss himself was retreating to his getaway van out back.

“Oh no, you don’t!” he growled irritated, his mask deepening his voice. He fought off a couple of the other guys still in the warehouse and sprinted out to where he hid his motorcycle. He hopped onto it and began to pursue the retreating van. They raced down the dense streets of Gotham, but thankfully Red Hood’s motorcycle was narrow enough to squeeze between cars.

Eventually, Jason was able to catch up to the boss’s van, so now he was racing alongside it.  “C’mon, man! I’ve got plans tonight. Can’t we just do this the easy way? You pull over so I can arrest you and I don’t beat the shit of y’all. It’s a win-win for everybody. What do you say?” Red Hood asked with a cheeky grin of his. At that, the boss had his peon in the passenger seat roll down his window and start shooting him.

Red Hood groaned and checked his watch. He really needed to go get ready. “Fine, I guess we’re doing this the hard way, but just letting you guys know, you really just pissed me off.”

---

Jason ruffled his hair both because he was frustrated and because he wanted to make sure it looked stylishly tousled. As he jogged through the doors of a little Italian restaurant, he looked down at his phone. Oh god, he was running late. He was almost 20 minutes late now. He was so not making a good impression.

“Uh, hi, I was supposed to be meeting someone, but I’m a little late… Do you know if they’re uh… are they still here?” Jason asked the maitre d’, shuffling his feet uncomfortably. The woman just looked at him with an expression somewhere between unimpressed and pitiful. It was almost as if she wanted to be upset with him for being that douche who’s late to the date and also feeling bad for him. She sighed softly and picked up a menu for him.

“Right this way, sir.”

As the young woman led him through the loud restaurant, Jason felt his stomach twist. He hardly had any time to change as he was already running late. He just brushed his hair, changed out of his Red Hood outfit and then dashed out of the door. He wondered if he smelled bad… he had been working out vigorously--kicking ass does count as a work out--which meant that he inevitably sweat throughout the day. He hadn’t even showered before coming here. The thought of being so disheveled only made his palms damp as they approached the table. God, what a charming guy he was gonna appear as on a first date.

“Here’s your table, sir,” the young girl said, her pity melting away when she saw the person sitting at the table, waiting for Jason as they had been doing for the last 20 minutes. Y/N raised one eyebrow at Jason as he sat down.

“Heh, sorry for keeping you waiting. I got caught up in something. I know it’s no excuse, but, uh, I’m here now,” Jason chuckled obviously awkward and guilty. He picked up his menu, eyes scanning over it for only a second before he turned to you. “See anything good?” he asked, trying to ease them into having a nice date.

“Their breadsticks are good. I would know. It’s all I’ve been eating since I think it’s rude to order by yourself on a first date,” you spat out, tone venomous, but expression neutral At that, Jason visibly winced. He reached over and held your hand, rubbing your knuckles with his thumb soothingly.

You and Jason met because of your job at the used bookstore. It was a quaint little place, resting beside a nice coffee shop across the street from the train station, so you liked to hang around the area after work. He had been shopping around the classic literature section while you were organizing the books and before you knew it, you had this cute stranger chatting you up and debating with you who the best romantic poet was. (Shakespeare was alright and all, but Lord Byron would totally kick his ass after smoothly luring him into his bed.)

Jason had spent weeks just playfully bantering with you before you guys started to take your discussions to the coffee shop. When he had finally asked you out on a formal date over an analysis of Dorian Gray and a cup of earl grey, you just rolled your eyes playfully, remarked, “Finally, Todd. I was wondering how long you were gonna take,” and let him know the next time you had a weekend free. You were hesitant at first because, while he was sweet and a damn good debater, he was also a flirt. However, you didn’t want to just tack him under the player archetype, so you gave him a chance. It seemed, though, that perhaps you had him perceived him correctly.

“I know, I know, I’m sorry. I was just dealing with a lot of stuff right before I came here and it was totally last second. I didn’t want to leave you hanging like this. I’m sorry. Can you find it in your heart to forgive me?” Jason asked with his overly done puppy eyes. You sighed softly. They were totally dramatic and lame, but he was hard not to forgive and he looked truly remorseful.

“Fine, but you’re buying the coffee next time,” you relented with mock reluctance which caused Jason’s face to light up. Your heart melted a little at that. “Dork,” you muttered fondly to yourself.

From there the date proceeded nicely. There weren’t any awkward gaps in the conversation, no food spillage, no other glaring slip-ups. Actually, the date was quite nice. It felt like a natural extension of all the time you had been spending together anyways. By the end of the night, you two walked out of the restaurant together, Jason walking you to your car. Something about how it was unsafe to be walking alone in Gotham at night. You didn’t mind. You totally agreed with him there and you were glad to have a few more minutes with Jason.

“Well, this is mine,” you chuckled, leaning against the driver’s door. “This was really nice, Jason,” you offered with a smile. Jason stood in front of you, leather jacket wrapped around him to protect him from the chilly night air.

“It was. And again, I’m really sorry for being late like that, I really do feel bad about that.” There Jason was apologizing for the tenth time this evening. You had forgiven him completely at the third apology and at this point, you were getting slightly annoyed.

“Jason, I told you I forgive you. I’m a big kid and I get it. Life gets in the way sometimes, but you still showed up and you were a complete gentleman all evening and I had fun. In fact, I’d like to do this again sometime,” you spoke softly, touching his arm gently to let him know that you truly weren’t mad.

Jason watched your hand. You were shorter than him so he was looking down at you slightly. With his own grin he responded, “Yeah, I’d like that too.”

Then for a moment you were both just staring at each other with soft grins on your faces as the lights of the parking garage and the window open to the large moon cast a warm glow on the two of you. Jason seemed to be leaning in and you didn’t stop him. Just as he closed his eyes, however, you put your hand up to stop him. “Ah, ah, ah. Boys who are late on the first date don’t get a good night kiss. Plus you smell like gunpowder and garlic bread, but nice try,” you whispered since he was just a breadth away.

You winked as you got into your car. You rolled down the window at him after you backed out of your parking space. “Maybe you can try again on Sunday. I know the park by my work is hosting a Shakespeare festival and I’ll be there at one precisely. Don’t be late,” with that you drove off into the night, leaving Jason gaping after you, a grin stretching out across his face.

Next time, he was going to be sure that if he had a mission, he would leave himself plenty of time to shower, get you flowers or something, and be there early. He wasn’t gonna let any person who was that observant go that easily.

Author’s Note (A/N): I know that you asked for his first date, but I kinda wrote it as his first date with the reader rather than his first date ever. I hope you like it anyways though! Remember, feedback inspires me to write faster, so drop me some inspiration! Also check out my request rules here if you want a piece like this.

[burgeonmeraki]

20 Random Things You Don’t Know About Me

Hi guys! I thought I would do something a little fun, humiliating (LOL), and different on my blog today and share 20 things you might not know about me. I get it. As a reader, I, too, love learning a bit more about the people I read. So here goes!

1. I have this weird habit where I want my feet warm especially at night before I go to sleep. I usually put some lotion on it and then put my socks on. And if there are no socks, I put a pillow under my feet, like I'm a mermaid LOL. Weird, I know! But it prevents me from having leg cramps in the morning. 

That is my trophy for the singing contest. This picture was taken 2010, and I couldn’t find my trophy anymore so deal with that picture. Just kiddin’ 

2. I won first place at a singing contest at a talent show back when I was in kindergarten. I sang this 90s hit song My Heart Will Go On By Celine Dion. And I believe that if my parents put me or enrolled me in a voice lesson, girl, I could've been a singer today, and I might be joining singing contest like The Voice. But I only do the singing thing at the shower and karaoke. Hahaha

Left Pic: My oldest brother wasn’t there because he was working abroad Right Pic: My oldest sister is living in Canada, and my older brother is living in South Korea. My mom was holding her phone because that's them on the videocall.

3. I was supposed to have six siblings so that would make us a total of seven. I had an oldest sister, supposed to be the second child, who died because of some complications in her heart when she was still a newborn. Next is my Ate Jaz, which makes her my oldest sister alive. Then after Ate Jaz, my mom had a miscarriage. Basically, my Ate was in between two dead babies. And if ever my two siblings were alive today, I might not be here or I probably don't exist. I have such a huge age gap with my siblings because my mom had me at the age of 38, and she said that I was her only child who made her pregnancy and giving birth so hard. I was born via C-Section and the rest of my siblings were all delivered normal. So, lucky me for being here! LOL

My collection of Candy Magazine back in High School.

4.  Back in High School, I used to collect Candy Magazine until first-year college. This magazine helped me with all my teenage issues like self-esteem, body image, peer pressure, beauty, fashion, dating, friendship, career, etc. They have a bunch of articles there that I enjoyed reading. And I've always wanted to be one of their models, but I was an ugly duckling, and I'm not the confident type of girl back then. I still kept these magazines inside my sentimental box. 

This is my box full of photos, letters, diaries, and other stuff.

5. Speaking of the sentimental box, I'm a very sentimental person. I have boxes of stuff from my friends, family, and ex-boyfriends. I kept this stuff for good memories purposes because I like reminiscing good memories. It reminds me of these real moments that I was once shared with these people, and it's like my return ticket to that memories, whether it's funny, romantic, or sad. Plus good times need to be remembered. They need to celebrate and felt. You know, we're not getting any younger anymore, time will come that a part of our brain might forget those memories. So keeping pictures, letters, and diaries is one way to keep those memories alive.

These are my IDs from the Youth Camp Fellowship.

6. I used to be active in Church back when I was in High School. I even joined the Music Ministry and tried to learn how to play the piano. I went to a few Youth Camp Fellowship and met a lot of people, and it was fun. The reason why I became so active in Church because I had a crush on our drummer guy (he’s my first kiss). Yuck! LOL

Love Me Like You Do By Ellie Goulding (Short Clip) / Stay By Rihanna (Cover)

7. As I was saying on number 6, I used to play the piano before. They made us choose a musical instrument that we want to play, and I was supposedly gonna go for drums because it's cool, plus I used to listen to a lot of rock bands back then, but I didn't choose it because my crush is going to be the one who's going to teach us, and I was shy, so I end up with piano. I actually tried learning how to play the guitar but you got to have callouses on your fingers in order to play it well because it freaking hurts girl! Hehe

8. Okay, let's talk about Puppy Love. When I was in grade school, I have a crush on this guy who's like 3 years older than me, and he's our neighbor. When I got into 6th grade, he started noticing me, and we became, I don't know, together? Like boyfriend and girlfriend? Haha. But since I'm a shy type kind of girl, I was having a hard time talking to him without blushing, I couldn't even let him hold my hands, or hug me, or kiss me. None of that happened. So we write letters to each other (cellphone is not a thing at that time). I know it's all cheesy and mushy and all, but anyways. I asked my niece to be our messenger haha. So I will give the letter to her, and she will give it to him, and then vice versa. Okay, so this is the funny part!! My niece left my goddamn letter for him at our dining table! And my sister and brother read the whole thing. I was so annoyed at my niece. My siblings were like mad at me for having a boyfriend at such a young age because you know, I'm their little sister, and little sissy is not allowed to have a boyfriend LOL. And then they threatened me that they're going to tell it to my mom, so I broke up with him after a week using a letter haha. We kept in touch til I got into High School. I think we went out before, we watch a movie but I brought a chaperone with me. HAHA we didn’t end up together because he’s such a playboy. FYI: I don't count him as my ex-boyfriend. LOL

9. I had a puppy named Mocha because she’s dark brown and it suits her. She’s a shih tzu and she’s the cutest puppy in the world but she died because she got sick. I miss her so much! :(

Snorkeling at Coron, Palawan.

10. I love going to the beach. I love swimming! My mom’s sister owns a beach resort and it was just an hour away from our place. We always go there every summer, and that’s where I learned how to swim, not in the swimming pool, but in the ocean. I was supposedly going to be a swimmer. My 4th grade teacher trained me, and he trained other students in other sports like badminton and volleyball, and they joined sports competition, and they win medals. So I got very interested because I want to win medals too. So I did my training but I was having a hard time to dive. I know I'm doing it wrong because the water kept going inside my nose and it freaking hurts. So I stopped and quit the training because I couldn't do it properly. Haha

I think I was in 3rd Grade in here. Lol

11. I joined Girl Scout back in grade school. I can't remember why I joined. All I know is I am going to have a lot of fun in here. And that was my first camping experience. We camped out at our school, and yeah, it was fun and scary at the same time because there are lots of ghost stories in our school. Our motto: "Girl Scouts are always ready and prepared.” 

I also joined Drum & Bugle. I was a Majorette, the one who throws the baton in the air and twirls it. I just love to dance back then, and nope, I'm not a professional dancer. It's just that life is better when you dance! :)

Junior Year High School. Cheer Dance Competition during our Intramurals Day. 

12. When I got into High School, I've always wanted to join Cheer Dance Competition since I was in my freshman year. But most of the girls in my school back then were all pretty and mean. I only joined when I was in my junior year, and we won 2nd place. I'm really not a good dancer, but I know I've got moves. I just don't know what happened today LOL. I'm one of those girls who they always lift and toss because obviously in the picture I'm thin as a rake haha. Then I tried joining again in College, and I got into an accident. I freaking fell flat on my back while we're doing our pyramid stunt and no one's there to catch me. Ouchie! I'm on the second level, standing on my right leg at this guy's shoulder, and then my left leg was angled and lifted because on the third level, a girl's going to stand on my left thigh. She was scared and not keeping her balance well so she dragged me backward with her. Someone caught her and none for me because the way I go down the pyramid is by jumping in front. Our coach didn't see that coming and I thought I am gonna go home with broken hips.

Left to Right: Elementary Graduation Day; Sophomore Year in College; Junior Year - wearing retainer; Retainer and Braces Free 

13. I first had my braces when I was in 6th grade because my sister got one, so I want one too LOL. I had it for a very long time. Since I got it at such a young age, my teeth were not complete yet. And based on my x-ray, I've got several impacted wisdom tooth that's going to come out so my doctor waited for it. I only got it removed when I was in my 3rd-year college. So I had my braces for 7 years. HAHA

14. I can’t whistle. I tried. I don’t know how to. I can’t do it. PERIOD

Cupcake Nail Art, Cheetah Print Nail Art, Polka Dots Nail Art

15. I love doing my nail art from when I was in High School to College. I don't like my nails plain and simple back then, so I put a design on it and make it fun. I'm always into art and being creative. Creativity is inventing, experimenting, growing, taking risks, breaking rules, making mistakes, and having fun. So my parents saw that potential in me, and they made me choose Architecture as my profession.

These are my high school arts that I saw on my facebook LOL.

Circa 2015. Photographed By: Iks Virina

16. I'm not a morning person. I hate waking up so early. I only wake up so early if I have important errands to run or if I have to go to work. I love sleeping during the day and staying up during the night. I'm a night owl. There's something about being up at night that makes it more peaceful to work and think. Most of my creative juices come out during the night. And I've read that night owls have better mental alertness than early risers. I don't need caffeine to keep me up at night. LOL

Circa 2015. Photographed By: Iks Virina

17. I'm not a coffee person. Don't get me wrong, I love the smell of coffee. It's just that the coffee doesn't like me at all. Every time I drink coffee, especially those with high caffeine like espresso, I end up palpitating and having heartburn. I can drink it but not too much, and sometimes I preferred Frappuccino. I'm more of a tea person. I love chamomile and red berries flavors.

FEU I.D. vs BPSU I.D.

18. I went to two schools back in College. When I was in my senior year in High School, I didn't really plan my college life. I have no idea what school I am going to attend. I only know was my mom wants me to take up Architecture even though I don't want to. So yeah, I end up going to Far Eastern University for 2 years. Then, my Dad, he was working abroad in Libya, and there was a war at that time in the Middle East. So they had to go home and stopped working. We have no income, we had financial issues, and that's when I decided to return home and study in my hometown, get a scholarship because I have no choice. I was in college for 6 years, supposedly 5 years only but I had to retake some of my subjects that I already took up in my previous school because the school didn't credit it.

Back in 2015, I tried to dress up like Blair Waldorf. She loves wearing headband hehe

19. My favorite show of all time is Gossip Girl. It's like the first rated r tv shows that I really got hooked up and fall in love with. It's the reason why I've always wanted to go to New York. I have watched this already a few times, and it doesn't get old. I love Serena Van Der Woodsen (Blake Lively), her style, and the way she carries her clothes. She's this free-spirited, charming, nice, laidback IT GIRL. And then Blair Waldorf (Leighton Meester) aside from her classy, preppy style, I like her domineering and loyal personality. Plus her romantic on and off love affair with Chuck Bass (Ed Westwick). But my biggest crush on this show is Nate Archibald (Chace Crawford), oh god I love his eyes, it's so sexy! HAHA

Sandbox Adventure at Pampanga; Bike Trailing and Wakeboarding at Nuvali, Laguna; and Skimboarding at Boracay

20. I love some good adventure. I have this bucket list of things to do before I die, and I want to fulfill that. Like traveling the whole world, plus I want to go skydiving or bungee jumping. Aside from that, you're just not creating memories, you're also trying new things. And I'm always up for trying new things, and I like challenging myself sometimes. Life is boring if you don't at least try or go out of your comfort zone. Just try new things once in a while, and don't be afraid to soar high.

What’s something random about you? And if you make a post, share it below. Thank you so much for dropping by!

Love Lots, Jamie

[modernart2012]

Grave Robbing for Fun and Profit (Mostly Profit)

@sumigakure ​ Halloween Event 2017

Bonus Prompt: Grave Robbing

Word Count: 14170

On AO3

Summary: Aka - Kagami may have lost the battle, but he will win the War.

Takes place in the same Universe as You remind me of (Home). Consider this the sequel that also ate my brain

Kagami bursts into the room, panicking at a decent Level 7. “Profess - FIRE GOD’S FLAMING BALLS MY EYES!” He recoils trying to erase what he had just seen from his retinas, but then remembers who is following just behind him. “MINION NO!!!! DON’T COME IN!!!!” Trying to cover his eyes and block Orochimaru’s eyes simultaneously was pretty hard, especially since Kagami isn’t precisely sure where Orochimaru is.

  Orochimaru pauses behind him somewhere, unfazed, “Kagami, I am best friends with Jiraiya. I have undoubtedly seen and heard worse.”

  Kagami doesn’t think that’s a valid defense. “No! Bad! Minors shouldn’t be exposed to these sorts of R rated things!” He bops Orochimaru on the nose like a particularly misbehaved puppy, and gets a startled look for his efforts. He’s going to regret that when his coffee is exchanged for decaf pumpkin spice - a vile monstrosity on all parts - tomorrow. Today. Whenever the next most convenient time/place was. Whatever, live fast die young and all that. Then he whirls back around to his cousin and his … actually what are they? Dating? Boyfriends? Lovers? Is this the right time to ask if they’ve DTR’d?  Wait, that isn’t the point, “Why were you doing that sort of thing in a place where anyone could just walk in on you?!”

  Cousin Madara makes a high pitched whine of horror and abject humiliation, and Professor Senju simply quirks an Eyebrow of Doom at them. “This is my private residence. The door was locked.” Kagami wants to frown disappointedly at Professor Senju - they’d known each other how many years now? A locked door means nothing.

  Orochimaru calls over from the bookshelf, “Kagami picked the lock.”

  Cousin Madara groans harder, covering his face with his hands. Tough luck, but it really didn’t do anything for his disheveled hair and half-unbuttoned shirt. Or Professor Senju’s missing shirt. Which, good job Cousin Madara, Professor Senju is fit. Would this be the time to send a Subtle and Discreet Thumbs Up? “Is there a particular reason you broke into my home at … 8:16 pm on a Saturday, Kagami?”

  Oh. Oh yeah. “I,” Orochimaru interrupts with a pointed cough, “- I mean we - fixed the issue with the Reanimation technique.” Both Cousin Madara and Professor Senju blanch simultaneously. Kagami hadn’t known either of them could go any paler. “Wait, no, we made it work on a dead dog. There are no supernatural zombies this time.”

  “This time?” Orochimaru perks up, interest piqued. Oh, Fire God’s balls.

  “NO. BAD MINION. NO SUPERNATURAL ZOMBIES FOR YOU.” Maybe Kagami should invest in a spray bottle. Properly training and socializing one’s minion is hard work. How did Professor Senju ever get him trained? He catches Orochimaru glaring at him with calculation in his eyes, turns his head and sees the exact same look on Professor Senju, as if both are contemplating the best way for him to die. He resolves to work on his death glare. Clearly that’s what he’s been doing wrong this whole time.

  “And this couldn’t have been a text message why?” Ah, there’s that throbbing vein in Professor Senju’s forehead. Kagami’s old friend.

  “Well, see, that’s a long story….”

  500,000 ryo, two favors of his choice, a house, and a left kidney (extraction pending) was the final pot that Cousin Izuna won. Plus a second date with Tōka Senju, though that might have been incidental to the actual bet if the way he was walking funny was anything to judge by. Kagami wonders where he had gone so wrong, to lose out on that much stuff. Did no one pity the young and their student debt? Cousin Izuna didn’t need that stuff, he had a job that paid well. Except the date with the Senju lady, he’d been starry-eyed long enough over her. Kagami is still holding out hope on a double wedding - tensions are still rampant with the Senju, so having a two-for-one wedding would limit the amount of dead bodies created. Unless it was Uncle Setsuna, in which case, fuck Uncle Setsuna.

  Cousin Hikaku is unimpressed. “Kagami. Please stop clutching my leg and crying in public. You’re scaring the children.” Kagami looks over at where Orochimaru and his friends are staring at him impassively over various forms of ice cream.

  Kagami considers for a moment, “They are minors.” Genius minors that were revolutionizing their chosen fields of study, but still minors. It still wasn’t enough to stop him from flopping pathetically over Cousin Hikaku’s lap. He had no shame, and Hikaku was the best for cuddling.

  Jiraiya blusters around his mint chocolate chip mouthful, “We’re 16, not idiots!” Tsunade ducks his wildly gesticulating spoon, calmly sipping at her milkshake.

  Orochimaru eyes Jiraiya skeptically, “Are we absolutely sure about this.” When Jiraiya chokes on his ice cream in his haste to disabuse Orochimaru of the statement, neither he nor Tsunade made a move to help.

  “Aren’t you studying to be a doctor?” Kagami asks Tsunade distractedly. He didn’t know people could actually turn that color. Maybe he should take pictures? Jiraiya might want to know, he is a writer and he needs descriptions.

  “The Medic’s Oath only applies to those who are your patients. Jiraiya is not.” Over the sound of Jiraiya coughing, Tsunade adds, “Besides, he’s coughing. He can breathe.” With a move that spoke of years of practice, she punches his breathing back into normal pattern. “Are you finished having your pity party over losing one portion of the betting pool? I want to know so I can decide if I need to get another milkshake or not.”

  Kagami slumps over. “No, I’m done.” The youth were so jaded and cynical these days! Where were their hearts? Their sympathy for their fellow struggling humans?

  Cousin Hikaku decides that he’s going to be nice for a moment and scritches Kagami’s head like he did when they were little. Long suffering and patient. “There there, Kagami.” It felt good where his hair was still growing back in after having it burned off by Cousin Madara - who knew Cousin Madara had such excellent aim even without being able to see? Luckily he had been in a hospital already.

  “What’s the big deal about having debts anyways?” Orochimaru asks. Jiraiya and Tsunade nod, because genius and young meant that they had caboodles of money falling out of the sky into their laps for their achievements. “You just have to make something and patent it and you get money for it and pay off the debt.”

  “Says the Baby Experimental and Theoretical Magician Who’s Already Famous for Their Experimental Magic, the Kabillion-times Awarded Writer Renowned Throughout the Elemental Nations and Has People Falling Over Themselves to Buy Their Books, and the Medic Who’s Already Revolutionized the Medical Field Plus Invented New Magical Technology.” Kagami accuses. “The most groundbreaking thing I’ve worked on is already owned! By the military. A little to the left Cousin Hikaku, ah, right there. Perfect.”

  “It’s kind of scary, but you really can hear the capitals,” Tsunade muses. Orochimaru nods once in agreement. Jiraiya looks intrigued.

  “You know, this is giving me all sorts of ideas for my next novel,” Jiraiya comments over the edge of his notebook. “Kagami, would you say you’re feeling pampered and well-cared for?” He thinks for a moment, “Actually, would you say that you’d call Mr. Hikaku ‘Big Brother’ or ‘Master’ in this situation? Or is this more ‘Peon/Servant’ like?”

  Tsunade and Orochimaru exchange speaking looks, then Tsunade punches Jiraiya in the head. Kagami blinks blankly. Come to think of it, what kind of books did Jiraiya even write?

  “It doesn’t matter, the project is a dud for want of control of the subject.” Kagami groans into Hikaku thigh. They’re very comfortable, unlike Cousin Mikoto who apparently has never heard of skipping leg day and has thighs that could crush a man’s skull. Then the Idea hits him. “Wait! THAT’S IT! I just need to invent and patent a fool-proof control seal, then when the Man wants it I can name my price!” He grabs Orochimaru, “COME MINION! LET US AWAY!” He’s a good Mentor, so he makes sure Orochimaru has his ice cream cone and napkins before he drags him away. Rule One of Minion Keeping: Take Care of Thy Minion.

  As he dashes out of the ice cream parlor, he faintly hears: “Hey, Mr. Hikaku, how much is the minimum amount to place a bet in the betting pool?”

  “Tsunade-hime, no.” Jiraiya moans in despair.

  “Tsunade yes.” Kagami feels the fingers of the Lady of Death wrap around his coffin and shivers, but Experimental Magic waits for no man and he forges on.

  Kagami pauses as he hears a stomach growl. “Minion, why didn’t you say you were hungry?! This is unacceptable. Professor, I’m pressgang-ing your kitchen. Come along Baby Snake.” He marches confidently out of the room, because his cousin’s whatever’s house was his house too and all that.

  Cousin Madara splutters, “Kagami you can’t just tell people you’re taking over their kitchen.” Because Cousin Madara didn’t do the same regularly. The hypocrite. Besides, Kagami needs to know how Professor Senju keeps his kitchen before he gives Cousin Madara his blessing. Kitchens tell you a lot about a person, after all, and it wouldn’t do to have a kitchen heathen in the family.

  Professor Senju looks at his - whatever - in askance, “Is that the only issue you with that?”

  Cousin Madara shrugs, “It’s Kagami,” as if that explained everything. Which, maybe it did but that’s because he’s sensible and everyone else around him is slightly insane.

  Orochimaru seems to concur, “We had ice cream for breakfast yesterday because Kagami said he needed to eat his feels and it’s proven to be good for mental health.” Still he gets up and follows Kagami like a good minion, and receives a piece of candy for good behavior. Cousin Madara and Professor Senju trail behind looking perturbed. Whatever, they just don’t get his genius.

  He sets the dishes in the sink to cleaning as he pokes around for ingredients, because 1) eww, who wants to have to do dishes on date night?, 2) he’s pretty sure he’s going to need that spatula because Orochimaru likes eggs, and 3) it take less than a thought, so why not. “Professor Senju, where do you keep the rice?” Omelette rice was simple and tasty, but he’d been practicing making egg curry rice balls and he needed guinea pigs to taste it before unleashing it on the unsuspecting masses that was the grad student lunch-luck. He was going to beat out that asshole Inuzuka in the Medical Pharmacology department if it was the last thing he did in graduate school. Choices choices.

  Professor Senju ignores him in favor of asking, “Is this like the House Thing?” Oooh, fresh tomatoes. Curry it is.

  Cousin Madara nods while Orochimaru looks up from where he’s perched on the counter petting his snake, “What House Thing?” Then he pauses and corrects, “I don’t want to know if it’s something kinky.” Kagami passes him another candy. Good behavior must be rewarded. Cousin Madara makes a dying noise and collapses into a chair.

  “That doesn’t matter, you heard Tsunade make a outrageous bet and didn’t think twice about your course of action?” Professor Senju asks while pinching the bridge of his nose. He’s somehow managed to procure a shirt, boooo.

  Orochimaru speaks around his mouthful of candy. “To be fair, Tsunade is usually wrong.” She usually is - there was a reason all the local bookies were fighting over if it were fair to tell people what she had bet on. It tended to drive up business, but people tended to win more, so it’s pretty much an even split as to opinions.

  “Before we go any further, do we really need to know anything that transpired in the last 24 hours?” Cousin Madara sounds pained. Maybe he’s eaten something that doesn’t agree with him? Kagami isn’t surprised, the man likes his spice with extra spice and that’s not easy on the stomach.

  Kagami sets the rice to cook and pulls out the first of the (frankly lacking) vegetables to be chopped. “Well, yes, mostly because I’m pretty sure the military and international police are hunting for us.” At least one, possibly two, but that wasn’t important, really.

  Kagami is pretty sure Cousin Madara is praying for a lightning bolt to kill him dead right now. Someone really ought to keep an eye on that, praying to die is probably a sign of depression and/or suicidal thoughts.

    “Kagami, why are we breaking into the Restricted Archives.” Orochimaru nods and smiles at the librarian at the desk, because he’s somehow gotten in good with them and Kagami would like to note it’s entirely suspect because his minion routinely fails Socialization 101 so him being in good with anyone is questionable.

  “We’re not breaking in.” Kagami protested as he scanned his universal access card that he had copied from the Dean’s Office. “We have an appropriate pass and everything! And it’s broad daylight!” Nothing illicit happened in broad daylight.

  “A pass the administration doesn’t know you have and that I would stake my third undergraduate degree on you having obtained through less than legitimate means,” Orochimaru points out.  Kagami pretends to not notice as Orochimaru subtly picks his pocket and clones the pass on his phone. Of course his minion wouldn’t pass up the opportunity to have access to knowledge!

  “Baby Snake, have I ever led you astray?” Kagami leads the way down the long aisles of books, looking for the shelves with the advanced and forbidden sealing techniques. There was some book about mind control seals, something from the heyday of sealing in Uzu no Kuni. Kagami had seen it before, back when he had been packmule-ing texts for Professor Senju.  

  He walks confidently down the corridor to the rotunda where the shelves started.Forbidden fire magics, forbidden earth magics, forbidden water magics (oooh, Kagami would have to remember that there is a text on torture methods, that one’s new), forbidden air magics, forbidden nature transformations, forbidden bukijutsu (weren’t all bukijutsu forbidden?). They should be getting close, sealing was usually hidden deeper in the vault of libraries, where the wards were older, stronger, and more sensitive to intruders trying to forcibly break through.

“Kagami, you regularly get lost. Do you really want me to answer that?”

  Kagami swears the quality of minion has gone down since his day. That’s it, Orochimaru gets to re-calibrate the micro pipettes, no wet bench experiments for him. “Ah, here we go.” Finally the right shelf. A quick perusal of the titles gained nothing significant, so Kagami takes the most promising titles and then dumped the less promising ones on Orochimaru. “To the research tables!”

  Four hours of scribbling notes and painstakingly copying seal matrix elements later, they had exhausted the texts they had claimed and started in on round two. Upside, Kagami is pretty sure he could pass any pop quiz Professor Uzumaki gives on sealing and it’s theory in that moment; downside is that he’s running low on candy to bribe the minion with. He stares moodily at the latest betrayal: the right text (finally!) but one written in code. “If this ends up being a puzzle like in Full Metal Alchemist, I’m going to invent time travel just to go back in time to punch the author,” Kagami informs Orochimaru.

  At the blank look he gets in response, he fears the worst. Then, “Wouldn’t you rather use time travel for something … more humanitarian? Like, ending wars before they started?”

  “And jeopardize my own existence? I think not.” Honestly, did Orochimaru think he was born yesterday? Kagami has a healthy appreciation of the Grandfather Paradox. What if he were to end up with multiple Uncle Setsunas? He’d have to go to jail for pre-mediated multiple homicide, no matter that he’d be doing the world a service. Objectively, it’s not worth it.

  Orochimaru considers Kagami thoughtfully before nodding, “Fair enough.” Then, with slightly too much magic, he twisted air and lightning-flavored-fire together and the air was awash with books flipping through their pages madly, pausing open on certain pages. A second twist, this time water via a snake hand seal and the blank loose leaf surrounding them began to fill with information. As soon as the information from each paused upon page was noted, and the rest of the book checked for relevance, the books returned to their places on the shelves.

  Kagami had to admit it was a neat use of magic, but also, “Are you trying to blow us all up? Air and fire together is liable to cause an inferno! Channeling water through a primarily earth magic hand seal? It could have exploded the entirety of the University! Where would you get such an idea from anyways?” He keeps thwacking Orochimaru over the head until he steps out of range.

  Orochimaru rubs the back of his head where Kagami had whacked him petulantly, “Professor Sarutobi’s done it before.”

  “Professor Sarutobi has practiced in a controlled environment, with more hand seals until he could do his spell with only a few hand signs, and not just experimented on the fly. And don’t try to tell me that you didn’t just make up those spells just now.” At least Orochimaru has the sense to look guilty. “Seriously! You’re a genius, did you not think that through at all? Just… don’t do it again. Get the notes and let’s see what we have.”

  What they have is a hot mess. Not even the fun kind of hot mess. Time for trial and error then. “Grab your tablet, we’re going to have to test seal matrices.” Thank the Four for Professor Uzumaki developing a seal and ward prediction app. Draw in your proposed seal or ward, and it would spit out what it would do. No more explosions in the Sealing and Wards department! The only downside is the drawing - Kagami isn’t in the Sealing and Ward department for a reason. Glancing over at Orochimaru’s chicken scratch, it’s clear that there is a good reason he isn’t either. It was going to be a long day.

  “Actually, wouldn’t it just be easier to scry for the right elements?” Orochimaru, that sly bastard. “I mean, we should have enough moon-harvested water around, and we have a thrice-mirrored bowl?” Kagami waits patiently for the answer to become obvious - there’s a good reason they can’t use scrying here and it would compute in 3, 2, 1 … “Oh, the symbols.”

  “Exactly. Premontionary and Clairvoyant magic is a lost magic for a reason, and it isn’t because we can’t do it. We just can’t focus in on when or what we want to see.” Kagami chews his lower lip in concentration; the whorls of the external enclosing planes had to be precise for energy direction. Would an earth based element as a part of the directory pathways help or hinder the process? Air elements wouldn’t be right, they weren’t look for knowledge, they wanted mind control which was as opposite of knowledge that they could get, but water’s malleability conflicts with earth and it’d become a muddled mess.

  It was an unfortunate shortcoming, but the application wouldn’t, or rather couldn’t tell you where you went wrong. Just that the seal didn’t work, or that the energy pathways ruptured, or memorably, with one frustrated scribble, death and destruction to the bonds between molecules. From that point, things rapidly devolve as their eyes begin to blur with strain. They had created a 13th brand new variant of explosive seals - really, they’re easier to make than anyone wants the average person to believe - when the latest seal matrix is announced to probably have mind control properties. Kagami nearly drops the tablet in shock. “Holy Fire God’s blessed ashes. We did it!”

  Orochimaru catches the tablet when Kagami finally finishes fumbling it around. “It only says ‘probably’, though.”

  Kagami doesn’t stop dancing in celebration, “It’s good enough for a test! To the graveyard!” He moonwalks to the door and is halfway down the hallway before realizing. “Wait! Save that seal,and the rest, and print out like seven copies of each on seal paper. Plus the Reanimation seal! Let’s test the lot!”

  It wasn’t a long trek to the graveyard, but they’d stopped to pick up lunch and snacks, plus water bottles and a bag because who knows how long it’d take to get through all of these seals. Proper hydration and feed was the undisputed key to excellent research, everyone knew that. It was also around lunchtime and research did not wait for growling stomachs.

  Then they realized that it was an exotic pet cemetery and no one really needed a tiger on the loose on the off chance that the seal failed to work and had to go to the opposite end of town for the regular pet cemetery attached to the regular human graveyard way in the back.

  “This one seems promising!” The headstone read “Spot”, and that was a normal pet name. Easy enough, really. Probably a dog, maybe a rabbit if someone had a rabbit with a spot -

  “It’s a cat.” Orochimaru boggles from where he’s prized off the top of the casket. “This is ‘Spot’?”

  “Now now, minion, we can’t judge people on their naming sense. Afterall, ‘Spot’ is a human name too.” And he had always wondered what had happened that Uncle Tajima had agreed to that name. Aunt Akane really must have put the fear of the Four into him….

  Kagami shakes himself out of his spiral of thinking when he hears the crunching of gravel. “Quick, hide,” he hisses at Orochimaru, then scrambles into the bushes. Grave robbing is a crime still, no matter that this is in the name of Experimental and Theoretical Magic, and Kagami would like to not go to jail, thank you.

  Two figures in dark cloaks trudge up the path carrying flowers. Small Lords of Ash and Smoke, please let them not pause at the dug up grave please let them not pause at the dug up grave pleasepleaseplease - The figures stop in front of the dug up grave. Fuck the Water God’s sacred duck.

  “What’s happened to Madara?” The tall one with the face cloth cries, part horror and part vengeance-will-be-mine. He drops to his knees in the mess, sifting through the dirt and grass pensively. After a long moment, “They can’t have left too long ago, Hidan. The soil is still freshly overturned.”

  Kagami and Orochimaru exchange looks and in an unparalleled instance of reading each other’s minds sprang into action simultaneously. Orochimaru sprints in the opposite direction while Kagami leaps out and blows the strongest fire spell he can muster into the face of the two men.

That should take care of that - “Flame of the Fire God!” A scythe rips through the fire ball, closely followed by the bare-faced man, Hidan, who looks remarkably undamaged for having taken a fire ball point blank.

  Kagami makes the executive decision to run. He’s halfway back to his car, dodging sweeps of the scythe and vaulting over headstones, to where he hopes Orochimaru has gotten in and started the engine, when he feels a solid thwack to his skull and the world goes dark.

    Cousin Madara groans from where he’s watching tomatoes stew down on the stove, poking at the mass warily, “Every time I think this can’t possibly get any worse, it does. First with the breaking and entering, then the grave robbing, and now kidnappers.” He points the wooden spoon that’s been stirring the sauce in Kagami’s face. “You are never allowed out without supervision again. Ever.”

  Kagami pouts, “Excuse you, but you’re not the boss of me.” He sticks his tongue out for added effect.

  Professor Senju had pulled out a cooling compress around the time they got to the graveyard, and lifted the corner that was just over his eyes. “You did say ‘Hidan’ correct? Was he by chance with a man named Kazuku?”

  Orochimaru perks up from where he’s been patiently shelling field peas, “Do you know them Professor?”

  Professor Senju pauses, then states baldly, “Kazuku tried to kill me and Brother once.”

  He replaces the cloth just in time to miss Cousin Madara whirls around, “When was this?!” Tomato sauce flies off the spoon as Cousin Madara gesticulates frantically. Kagami really hopes it won’t stain the pale Iron blue Professor Senju had painted his kitchen. Even if it was mostly for show.

  Then the thought occurs to him, “Ah, to be fair, they were more like jacks-of-all-trade rather than just kidnappers? They did ransoms, sacrifices, assassinations, bounty hunting, serial killing/mass murder - what’s the difference by the way? - plus or minus some contract killing, but that could be the same as assassination. And odds jobs, as long as they paid.”

  It’s like a record had jumped and scratched. Professor Senju and Cousin Madara exchange a Look, and how sweet, they’re at the stage where they could hold entire conversations with their eyes! Practically married! “And how did you come by this information?” Professor Senju queries calmly and carefully.

  Orochimaru answers from where he’s digging his snake out of the pea shells, “Oh, we talked to them.”

    Contrary to what the movies would have you believe, getting knocked unconscious tended to be traumatic and leave one with a ringing in the ears and a throbbing in the skull. Unfortunately, the lack of light in what appeared to be a car trunk meant Orochimaru wasn’t able to check him from concussion, and the lack of room meant neither of them could risk a small flame to see either. As it was, someone had disabled the emergency escape latch in the trunk so rolling out and getting to a medical facility was completely out of the question. Or so Orochimaru tells him, Kagami is a little too nauseous to check for himself. The bouncing of the car tells him they’re not on asphalt, more likely gravel or one of the many forest roads that are covered in rocks and tree roots. Either one is not a good sign - neither of those are features of roads anywhere near the University.

  Telling Orochimaru that would do no good; Frightening the Minion is Not to Be Borne. So instead Kagami announces with as much dignity as he can muster laying on his side curled into the fetal position. “I think I am going to vomit.”

  The car comes to a screeching halt. “Oh, fucking no you don’t! I just got the Chariot of Fucking Destruction detailed!” Ah, the dulcet tones of yelling. They don’t help Kagami’s swimming head, or the building roiling of his gut.

  Which is how Kagami projectile vomits all over Scythe Dude when he yanks open the trunk. He flops over the rear bumper and moans pitifully. He wants ice like burning and the cloud-blanket Cousin Izuna had knit him that felt like a hug when he snuggles in. And his mom to pet his head like she did when he was little. That wasn’t too much to ask, was it?

  Apparently so, because he gets hoisted up into a fireman carry by Mr. Strong Arms and - Holy Fire God he has muscles. ”Do your workouts work out?” He squeezes the bit of bicep he can reach, and pokes at the trapezius on his other side. The robe gets in the way a bit, but thank the Four for partial nudists!

  Orochimaru follows sedately behind. “I apologize in advance for Kagami.”

  The Veil-Face nods sympathetically, “I as well; Hidan always uses too much force.”

  Orochimaru extends a pale hand, “Orochimaru. I’d say it’s a pleasure to meet you but - ”

  “Kazuku. Don’t worry about it, we’re consummate professionals. We will ensure that this is as painless as possible so you are inclined to leave a positive review about your experience.” The handshake they exchange is firm and cordial. Kagami thinks he needs to set up a module on Kidnapping 101. This is most probably not the proper thing to do when kidnapped. Professor Senju never had to give him that lesson; he can’t even trawl through Professor Senju’s archives for help. He moans, he doesn’t want to have to create a new Power Point, they take forever and what does he even say? If the University finds another incident of suspicious search history….

  “Oi! If you puke on me again I’m sacrificing you to Jashin-sama!” Hidan barks over his shoulder, apparently concerned by the pitiful sounds Kagami is making.

  Kagami thinks about it for a moment, over the murmur of conversation Orochimaru and Kazuku discussing … immortality and magic natures, or something like that? … before going for broke, ���Who’s Jashin-sama?”

  He takes Kazuku’s, “Lady of Death preserve me in eternal life,” at face value. There’s only a select few people who would ever call on the Lady of Death and only the movies would have you believe they’re all crazy, much more likely he’s a follower of the Lady of Death. Weird, but much more plausible. Immortality was myth and legend, and not even a Lost Art myth or legend; at least those had some evidence towards being real and replicable.

  “Jashin-sama is a great and benevolent God, heathen! Take a page from this wretched soul and listen to the word of Jashin! Maybe you’ll be saved!” Hidan crouches to let Kagami down at the base of a tree, and then gestures at Orochimaru to get himself over there too. Then he starts rummaging through his pockets, apparently that cloak had a lot, and deep ones too. Kagami’s impressed, he’ll have to ask after the make and model and get himself one. It seemed useful, like a lab coat only socially acceptable to wear outside of lab.

  Kazuku sighs heavily, before stating blandly, “If either of you have people willing to pay ransoms for your safe return, and/or pay for repairs to Spot’s grave, speak now.”

  Orochimaru eyes Kagami speculatively, before taking the proffered call phone and dialing. “Professor Sarutobi? I’ve been kidnapped. So has Kagami. Yes, Kagami Uchiha. Please comply with our kidnappers requests.” Orochimaru listens intently, nodding to whatever Hiruzen says, before handing the phone back to Kazuku.

  Kagami can feel the disappointment from Hiruzen already. He’d bet last night’s authentic Uzu ramen that he’s going to be lectured at the next faculty meeting. He’ll have to bring a discreet snack, Hiruzen tended towards long-winded and unnecessarily complicated explanations and lectures that were probably best delivered in vernacular rather than high-brow concepts and metaphors. Where he even picked up that tendency was anyone’s guess, Professor Senju was concise and to the point and definitely was not a dick about things like Hiruzen. Maybe if he threw a glove to issue a challenge? Kagami could take Hiruzen in hand-to-hand combat. He only had nitrile gloves though, did that even count?

  “Aha! Found it!” Hidan bellows in triumph, breaking Kagami from his stupor. “Time to enlighten you heathens to the truth, to Jashin-sama!” He unfolds a small booklet, before straightening his spine to pronounce with gravity, “Tenet the first: Everything is destined for utter destruction.”

  “Makes sense, the second law of thermodynamics.” At Hidan’s blank look, Kagami expands, “You know, entropy? Everything is in a constant state of decay, everything in the universe is on track to be completely destroyed? Everything tends towards destruction? It’s basic physics!”

  Hidan looks conflicted, “Your heathen science has somehow found the truth, yet is still heathen and ought to be rejected.”

  Kagami crosses his arms, “You can think of it that way, or you can think of it as science being the explanation for the Unknown Mysteries of the Universe. ‘A Search is what They have wrought for length, and depth, and wideness.’”

  A series of thoughtful nods, then Hidan clears his throat. Kazuku reappears from between the trees, phone call over. Orochimaru asks him conversationally, “So, what is it that you do?”

  Hidan continues, “Tenet the Second: To wreak Destruction upon everything is the highest calling. Anything less is a sin. Tenet the Third: Discard those who fear death, for there is nothing more holy than the end. Death is the absence of fear. Tenet the Fourth: Those who undergo the mystic rituals will find immortal life by the will of Jashin-sama.” He pauses, then, “Remember these tenets, because they will be the core of your life henceforth! You, once you have accepted Jashin-sama and the teachings of Jashinism, will live and die by these fundamental truths.”  

  Kazuku looks up from his notebook and calculator, apparently tabulating something, “We do a bit of this and that. Whatever pays most at the time, kidnapping, ransom, contract killing, bounty hunting. Odd jobs, as necessary. Keeps the bank account flush.”

  Hidan spits, sidetracked, “Of fucking course, because this heathen piece of shit only worships money. He’s killed monks and destroyed temples for money. Blasphemous motherfucker, sold out his own country for a quick buck.”

  Kagami would like to point out the obvious, but it might not be a good time. Considering that Hidan pulls out his scythe - which, on second look, is really impractical, given that it has three blades on the same side, meaning that unless one uses it in a primarily overhand chopping manner only one blade is ever going to do the cutting - and Kazuku is queuing up magic like it’s a Magic combat tournament championship. “Are you going to sacrifice me to your Jashin-sama? Without praying? Am I neighborly enough to qualify for killing, Hidan?”

  And now would be the time to duck for cover. Because Kagami hasn’t heard that level of vitriol and barely leashed rage since the time someone made a sexist remark about women in front of Koharu. He’s willing to stake his life on the fact that they’re about to see a similar level of beat down, with the same exact sum number of witnesses: none. “Minion, move.” He pushes at Orochimaru’s shoulder with as much this-is-imperative-listen-to-me desperation as he can muster, because they are both in danger of dying and -

“Fucking rot in Hell.” Before Kagami can react- even think about shielding Orochimaru from what’s coming, because he’s too young to see something like murder - Kazuku’s neck is severed. Blood gushes forth, and then thousands of thin black threads that quickly attach Kazuku’s head with no other apparent damage beyond the new set of stitches to his throat. It is easily one of the most horrifying yet fascinating things Kagami has ever seen.

  “Fire God’s Eternal Flame.” Kagami can’t stop replaying the scene he saw over and over and over in his head. Orochimaru is the only thing holding him upright; his bones have turned from jelly to water. There’s no way - Kazuku moves lightning quick, or must’ve, because the next thing Kagami can see is that Kazuku’s fist is through Hidan’s chest. Hidan only laughs maniacally.

  “Like that sort of thing can kill me fuckwit.” The scythe swings down and slices through Kazuku’s arm for long enough that Hidan slides straight off the end of his arm. The gaping absence in the middle of his chest starts to close over before their eyes. Right. Immortality. Damnation of sulphur and ash.

  Luckily, the duo seems well matched in terms of ability and wholly focused on trying to murderize each other. “Orochimaru. Tell me you got the keys?” Kagami whispers lowly as they stumble blindly through the woods. Every now and again the sound of a massive collision roars by, tinged with different magic types equally. Monsters, the both of them.

  A cloud of dust and high-speed wind has them ducking behind one of the massive trees that Hi no Kuni is known for. It adds a new level to the ringing in his ears. Kagami wants to blame his still throbbing head, but he would swear that they’re not getting any farther from where the immortals are duking it out. “Come on Kagami, only 500 meters to the car, we can make it.” Orochimaru, such a good minion, being supportive… and supportive, given the fact that Kagami’s arm is around Orochimaru’s neck and the teen is half carrying him since his legs are failing to support him properly without assistance. Once Kagami got a chance, he was going to promote Orochimaru to Head Minion. Maybe Chief Lab Assistant. Definitely put him up for the “Best Minion Award” at the next departmental grad student meeting.

  The crack of a twig that didn’t come from their footfalls first alerts them that there is something else out there that isn’t just them and the still clashing monsters wreaking havoc across the landscape. There were red laser dots flitting across the tree trunks, but that was probably a hallucination - Kagami really needs to get his head checked out. “Shit.” And Orochimaru is cursing. Since the last last time Kagami had ever heard a curse exit Orochimaru’s mouth was after he paralyzed his arms, he’s suitably alarmed.

  Orochimaru picks up his pace, moving diagonally to flank the dancing dots. They’ve nearly gotten behind the shadowy figures gliding through the dappled shadows and dust clouds when a low and dangerous growl starts up behind them. “I would stop moving if I were you.”

  “Would this person happen to have white hair? In a completely non-regulation ponytail? Scary, but nice scary? Younger than Kagami but Older than Orochimaru?”

  “Uh, he had a wolf?” Really that was the most memorable thing about him. That thing was clearly suffering from gigantism, or whatever the canid version of Marfan’s Syndrome is. If it even was a regular canid and not some beast of myth and legend. Kagami got a hair sample. Just to be sure. Who knows, maybe Celestials and Spirits had DNA like normal mortal creatures. “Do you prefer vinegar and sugar rice, or just plain rice in your rice balls.”

  “This explains why I got a phone call about someone who looks like an Uchiha cavorting with known criminals and fleeing from the military.” Cousin Madara looks conflicted, then passes the vinegar and sugar. Kagami would have to be sure to add extra spice to the curry to balance it out then.

  “And you didn’t expect Kagami?” Thanks Professor Senju, Kagami’ll be sure to give him a rice ball with all the pickled plum. He didn’t get into trouble that often, and most of his family are employed in law enforcement.

  “Look, you try meeting the Wild Hunt and not fleeing. I have things to achieve and they all start with no getting scooped by the Fair Folk and spending eternity hunting things down. Or being hunted. Or being eaten. ” Kagami grumbles, then floats over a mug of coffee. Going 24 hours without the nectar of the Gods is pushing it, okay. He needs his fix.

  Cousin Madara makes a pinched face. Kagami adds a pinch of asafoetida, anise, and turmeric to the curry - indigestion and constipation is normally the cause of faces like that. “Sakumo Hatake isn’t Fae.” Shows what Cousin Madara knows.

  Orochimaru protests, “He had a massive wolf! That’s not normal for humans.” What’s left unsaid is that it’s normal in the stories for Wild Hunt to have large predator companions. Like massive wolves. That thing was easily the size of a bear. Not a small bear either, like a bear on steroids. Some Princess Mononoke animal shit.

  Kagami agrees, “Definitely a Heavenly Dog.” To add more garlic or more soy? He leans over to proffer a spoon to Professor Senju - whatever he says, the opposite. Unless he says it’s fine in which case both, plus chilies. Kagami’s sure he saw a dried Ghost Pepper in the spice cupboard…

  “Fuzzy isn’t a Heavenly Dog.” the statement is bald and matter-of-fact, but what does Cousin Madara know? It’s amazingly clear Cousin Madara knows nothing. Then Cousin Madara stops to think, as if reviewing the conversation because something’s not adding up. “Why would you even think that the military was the Wild Hunt?”

  Kagami is too busy trying to wrestle the soy sauce bottle away from Professor Senju’s control, Fire God’s Flame he was strong, so Orochimaru answers instead. “Immortals are a thing. Who knows what else is out there?” He pauses to consider, then, “But since you know the white-haired Fae, please apologize for us about the screaming. And running. And the fire. There was a lot of fire.”  Oh look, Cousin Madara can look even more horrified. Kagami should take a picture for the databook.

    Kagami would like to contend neither he nor Orochimaru screamed shrilly like small children. They scream like terrified grown adults, thank you very much. Even if the response is confused whining and pained distress on the part of the wolf and a startled look on the Fae’s.

  Granted, Kagami’s automatic response is to punch the human-looking one in the face. It’s sloppy, and Kagami resolves to return to the dojo with Cousin Madara and Cousin Izuna because apparently just being in academia does not mean that he’s exempt from needing to throw punches.

  Though, since it lands and has the Fae stumble back in surprise, Kagami will take it. He feels the cold-prickle-shhhh-shiver of Orochimaru’s magic, and ducks on instinct. He’s not surprised when a blast of fire flies over him, or the yelp of both Fae creatures as they scramble away from the flame. Idly, Kagami notes it’s blue, but then he’s too busy running in the opposite direction to note much more.

  Neither he nor Orochimaru are concerned by stealth anymore; clearly the jig is up and was always up since, you know, Wild Hunt. There is but one choice, and only one: to go sprinting through the underbrush at top speed (or rather, at a fast stumble) and keep firing the most destructive magic they know at whomever crosses their path and dodging the magic sent their way, plus or minus Heavenly Dog. Heavenly Wolf. Whatever. It’s not like they need to worry about  permanently hurting anyone they come across, since one group is immortal and the other is … immortal. Huh. Tonight has been wild on the things Kagami thought he knew for a fact. Maybe he should have Orochimaru research immortality for his senior thesis….

  Orochimaru pulls them both into the boughs of a particularly ancient oak with a fancy twist of air magic, bringing them safely out of the reach of snapping wolf jaws. “We’re - ,” there’s a crackle of lightning and Kagami tackles Orochimaru flat to the wood as the bolt flies through where their heads had last been. “We’re not good, Four Almighty.”

  Orochimaru snarls as lightning strikes the tree proper and shakes it violently. “Kagami, hold still.” He startles then feels the distinct feel of cold-prickle-shhh-shiver and his headache alleviating. Ooooh, healing magic. Magic fingers.Kagami could sigh with relief.

  “When did you learn healing magic?”

  “One of my closest friends is a prodigy healer. Where do you think?” Right, pissed off Orochimaru is snarky. Must remember. Kagami isn’t going to complain, because his head feels clearer than after a 4 coffee morning and it’s a minor miracle. He opens his mouth, only to be cut off, “No I will not be doing this regularly. Deal with your caffeine addiction like a normal person.”  then Orochimaru launches into a complex series of hand seals and Kagami takes that as his cue to be cute and distracting.

  “Hey~, Mr. Wild Hunt. Are you looking for little old me?” He calls innocently into the shadowy forest. “Wolfy?” Kagami almost misses the nearly silent exhale Wolfy breathes next to his ear, but does manage to stick his hand in Wolfy’s mouth just in time to feel it so it all works out anyways. He never knew that such a massive, powerful animal could look so startled, but then again, Kagami is also technically a member of an apex predator species and he’s definitely surprised to find his hand in a mouth unexpectedly. They make awkward eye contact, and carefully Kagami extracts his hand from Wolfy’s mouth. “Let’s never speak of this again,” he intones solemnly, and he’d swear Wolfy agrees.

  The forest around them rings with the sound of spells and shouting, but the bubble around the two of them is uncomfortably silent. Kagami likes to think they’re each trying to figure out where to go from here, because what does one do after they stick their hand in someone else’s mouth without prior consent? Is there some protocol after removing one’s hand? He’s probably already missed his window to apologize, and now the situation is stuck.

  Kagami’s about to ask how Wolfy’s finding the weather when he’s saved by Hidan and Kazuku bursting through the tree-line in a flurry of scythe and magic, swiftly followed by the Wild Hunt wielding guns and military-grade spells. It takes some creative dodging of what looks like a particularly well-executed evisceration magic, ducking of a three bladed scythe, and fleeing-for-his-life-ing of bullets - which, huh, Wild Hunt must have gone modern, who would’ve thunk it - to get away. For a given value of “get away”, since he’s muddy, covered in leaf litter, being chased by a massive wolf (though, Wolfy seems to be playing with Kagami and trying to eat Hidan and/or Kazuku, and that’s a small comfort really), the Wild Hunt (also aiming to kill Hidan and/or Kazaku, whomever’s more open), and Hidan and Kazuku (one of whom is bellowing about sacrificing Kagami to Jashin-sama to free him from his irrational fear of death, and the other of whom is hissing about Kagami being necessary for getting the ransom). This is also discounting the various tree roots, rocks, and …other things Kagami bolts over. The less noted about those the better.

  He’s about to dart over a river-creek-moving body of water thing when he sees shapes surface from the middle of the river. Fire God’s Fury, weren’t Fae supposed to be unable to cross running water? Or was Kagami confusing them with the undead? In any case it didn’t matter, because Orochimaru finally finished his overly-complex set of hand seals and the world turned to smoke and ash and roaring flames as far as the eye could see.

  Not that it seems to bother the water Fae. Kagami flails and backtracks back towards the chaos of the pursuing vanguard since he has no burning desire to experience the hospitality of the Fae now or ever. Running for so long has left him a little winded, but hey, there’s nothing like getting in a bit of adrenaline-fueled cardio in the afternoon. Plus the leaping, evading, sending spells blasting off in every which direction, and avoiding the general mayhem is easier said than done, even if the Wild Hunt are doing their level best not to hit him. Or hit Wolfy, who’s been following him like a cat playing with a mouse, and Kagami feels especially hunted - Wolfy seems to be herding him, but that can’t be right because wolves are not sheepdogs. Really, all the near-misses of nipping and circling is unnecessary. Can’t he just run for his life in peace? Is that too much to ask?

  Apparently so, because he’s just ducked Hidan’s electrically-sparking scythe - no clue if that’s because it’s actually electric or simply electrically-conductive - and managed to stumble his way out of the firefight with minimal physical damage. His magic pools are running low- he’s not a monster like Cousin Madara or Professor Senju - but that’s okay because that will fix itself with enough time and rest. And then he rests his eyes on what is possibly the most horrific sight today. This time his shriek is shrill. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”

  Orochimaru perks up from where he’s pinning a very twitchy white-haired Fae to the trunk of a tree. “Oh good, you’re here.”  Still, he makes no move to release the Fae and Kagami curses whatever God decided that he needed a Minion like this.

  The Fae makes desperate eye contact while trying to maintain the maximum amount of distance between himself and Orochimaru, “Please get him off of me.” That was clearly begging. An extremely powerful Fae is begging.

  “But I haven’t finished seducing you.” Orochimaru purrs. Even worse then Kagami initially suspected. Wolfy begins to sidle away with a confused whine but stops and whines even harder, ears flat, clearly conflicted. Kagami is similarly conflicted, since on the one hand, this is horrifying beyond all reason and is completely inappropriate, yet on the other hand he wants to claw his eyes out and unsee this scene with prejudice. Unfortunately, there is only one correct answer.

  “Four Almighty, this is sexual harassment. This is so much sexual harassment.” Kagami fists his hand in Orochimaru’s collar and pulls him off the Fae. “I’m so sorry about this, I promise he was raised better than this.” Then to Orochimaru as Kagami shakes him, “What in the Twelve Hells possessed you to think that was okay?” The Fae looks traumatized - Kagami hadn’t known you could traumatize ageless beings who hunted people down in various gruesome ways for fun; he really hoped there wouldn’t be a complaint lodged with HR at the University. Given his luck, there would be.

  Orochimaru looks unrepentant, “But it worked! It bought just enough time for you to come without him messing with the seal.”

  “That doesn’t make it better!” Then Orochimaru’s response processes, and then Kagami has to double check that he heard that correctly. Suspicion colors his tone, “What seal.” It does not escape his notice that the Fae and Wolfy are sidestepping away as if they’re both insane and liable to go bonkers at any moment. He can’t decide if that’s good or bad - on the one hand, they’re too insane for the Wild Hunt, on the other, they’re too insane for the Wild Hunt. Kagami clearly needs to rethink his life choices.

  Orochimaru beams, “This one!” Then there’s a massive burst of magic and the world turns into a whirling light tunnel.

    “There are so many things I want to say, I have no idea where to begin.” There is a distinct air of resignation to Professor Senju’s tone, and Cousin Madara preemptively left 15 minutes ago to get medicines to combat both of their growing headaches. “The idea that you’d encountered Fae, the fact you ran from the military - and incidentally caused an International Incident, by the by, it was on the news- of not one, but two different countries, the fact you,” He glares over his steepled fingers at Orochimaru, “thought sexual harassment was a viable path for a distraction, or that you used a seal for travel.”

  “It worked!” Orochimaru throws his hands up in defeat, then stalks out of the kitchen. His snake remains curled happily on top of the still warm rice cooker, flicking it’s tongue out at intervals.

  Kagami exchanges a Look with Professor Senju, before saying, “The department is doing a refresher course on sexual harassment in a week, I already signed him up.” He has a spoon whirl between the oil poaching eggs cooking sous vide to make sure they’re not sticking together, then fishes out the seaweed from the drawer. “And in all fairness, the seal did transport us elsewhere. Just not where we expected to go.” He tastes the rice, before adding a dash of sugar. “What’s this about the news?”

  Professor Senju just groans.

  The seal has some of its intended effect in that they’re transported from point A through space to point B. Though given that Point B ends up being smack into a tree several hundred feet above ground, it’s a mixed bag.

  The nausea it causes isn’t ideal either. But hey! It worked! They’re not dead or lost to the space-time continuum! This is a win for Experimental and Theoretical Magic! With a little tweaking it’d be fine!

  “Where were you aiming for?” Kagami asks in between retching. It’s a small comfort that Orochimaru is also retching and green.

  “I was supposed to aim?”  Right Orochimaru is no longer allowed to transport them anywhere.

  “You didn’t pay attention in the lab meeting regarding the Teleportation seal?” If Kagami weren’t already alarmed he would be now. The lab meeting had only been preliminary, after all, and had only reviewed the basics of a Teleportation seal, or rather what remnants had been found and pieced together from ancient sealing treatises. That seal hadn’t been complete, and yet apparently Orochimaru tried to use it.

  “I usually tune out the lab meetings.” And that explains a lot. Kagami knew Orochimaru couldn’t be taking such detailed notes, the slippery little worm.

  Kagami really can’t wrap his brains around the fact Orochimaru used an unknown seal on live human subjects. “You could have killed us.” An unfinished seal, was a surefire way to die.Not to mention entirely unethical. Was this actually one of the Twelve Hells and Kagami just didn’t know? It might be, since everything due … left  is scrub. Were any of the Twelve Hells scrub land?

  Orochimaru winces as he twists onto his back. “I doubt I could get it to work again - Idon’t have enough magic left to try it again, and a few magic pathways ruptured in trying to get the seal to function.” Kagami winces at that proclamation. The only one of the two of them who had any clue how to do basic first aid was the one who was injured, with ruptured magic pathways, and Kagami has no clue where they are. It’s nearly nighttime, though, and Kagami has been forced through enough wilderness survival training camps/simulations/exercises by his relatives to be competent at navigating them via the stars.

  He fishes through the pack that’s miraculously stayed with them, mostly intact. “Here, have a sandwich and water. It should help some. Slowly.” It would go a long way to dealing with magic replenishment, but not if it was just vomited back up again. Rule One and all that. He digs around some more and finds a bag of candy. Oh good, ginger flavored - great of anti-nausea. “Suck on this too.” Kagami popped a piece himself, for the ginger and the sugar content. Neither of them had eaten since breakfast, and it shows by the way his stomach growls. If he’s hungry then Orochimaru must be as well. Kagami takes a moment to peer over the edge of the branch they landed on.

  It’s not too far down to the ground, not if he uses a few well placed bursts of air to slow his descent into something more manageable. There look to be some edible berries, and since Kagami has no clear idea of how long it will take them to get back to some form of civilization, it’d be best to gather some and save the snacks they had brought for if they ran out of edible foods. The act taxes his magic pools, but not noticeably enough given his magic’s already depleted state. At least he’s not completely exhausted like Kagami suspects Orochimaru is, no matter that the teen is trying to play it off like he’s got something left. Orochimaru isn’t finished growing, and so long as his body is in flux, so are his magic pools. They’ll even out eventually, and probably into the upper end of the spectrum, but for now they’re still developing.

  There’s a glut of blackberries, but Kagami avoids them. Fae fruit are suspect, and he doesn’t need another set of Fae on their case at the moment. He whispers an old rhyme to appease them anyways, because who even knew what rules ruled interactions the Fair Folk anymore if they were going around with guns - gunmetal had iron in it, right? A few meters away he finds a large strawberry bush, the berries brilliant red and ripe. Good fortune, which Four know they need more of. He fills his two handkerchiefs, and the already emptied sandwich container before eating his own fill of the berries. He knows they’re a stopgap measure at best - the terrain is rugged, and there probably isn’t much by way of travel options beyond “on foot”. With that in mind he pulls up some dandelion greens, and nettle greens nestled in among the branches of the strawberry bush and eats a handful. Mmmm iron.

  It’s only when he hears the low telltale hiss of an agitated snake does Kagami freeze. He knew he was forgetting something important; strawberry bushes attract snakes. Okay, that’s not necessarily true, but for all intents and purposes of this situation, Kagami is going to simplify into ‘strawberry bushes attract snakes’. Damnation of sulphur and ash.

  “Hello little one.” And now Orochimaru is involved. Professor Senju and Hiruzen would gang up and kill him dead, reanimate him, then kill him dead again if their precious prodigy is even slightly injured; Kagami is afraid to think of what would occur if Orochimaru dies out here. “And what’s your name?” He’s cooing at a snake. A - Kagami checks the shape of the purple reptile’s head - probably venomous species of snake. Fire God’s flaming balls.

  Kagami eyes where Orochimaru is petting the wild snake, then at the dandelion greens. He’s absolutely sure those are dandelion greens and not hallucinogenic, but he hasn’t been bitten by a snake - and snake species native to Hi no Kuni  don’t have venom that cause hallucinations. His eyes drift skyward, only to be met by twilight still. So either he’s hallucinating realistically, or this is reality. Kagami will take the hallucination, thank you very much.

  Orochimaru and the purple snake stare at Kagami judgmentally, which isn’t fair because hallucination snakes don’t get to be judgemental. “Why not?” And the snake speaks. Thanks brain.

“It’s not the little one, Kagami.” It knows his name. It knows his name. What. How. Why. Even Orochimaru looks surprised, so win for hallucination.

  “Kagami.” That’s an alerting-warning tone if Kagami ever heard one, and he turns to look behind him, where Orochimaru’s eyes are fixed.

  He makes eye contact with a massive black snake, one who’s easily as thick around as a tree trunk and could easily fit Kagami in it’s mouth if it chose to. And now it’s laughing. Why is it laughing. Kagami wasn’t built to deal with hallucination snakes laughing at him. Can he quit this adventure in favor of fleeing back to the University and Professor Senju’s lab? It was safe there, or at least it lacked hallucinogenic agents that weren’t properly labeled with warnings.

  “Greetings, Honored One. This one calls himself Orochimaru, and this one Kagami. May we be honored with what you are called?” Pros of Orochimaru and his obsessive compulsive need to know everything- he’s got a surprisingly good grasp of the classic tales.

  “This one is called Kuroda. The little one is called Manda. And I know your names human.” The tone is amused, and has an odd double timbre to it that echoes around Kagami’s skull, all the way back to the very recesses of his lizard-hindbrain.

  It clicks faster for Kagami than Orochimaru, feat of feats. “You’re a telepathic Celestial Snake.”

  “Indeed. You’re much faster on the uptake than most humans.” The last bit is tinged with idle curiosity-noted-respect. “You must have been well taught as a child. Rare these days.”

  With good reason, because Celestial Snakes are currently thought to be tiny (comparatively to the massive snake in front of them) tree dwelling snakes in the coastal forests of Uzu no Kuni and a tiny part of Hi no Kuni that ate birds and other small creatures and prized for their rainbow scales. The whole telepathic and massive thing was supposed to be just legend; then again, Kagami’s met not one, but two, count ‘em two Immortals and more Fae than he can count  in the last 24 hours so this doesn’t surprise him at all. Not even the slightest bit.

  “Honored Kuroda, can we request your assistance? We are far from home and would like to go back.”

  Kuroda raises himself up to squint down at Orochimaru, who is standing tall and composed before the Celestial Snake. “You are strange little human. Your soul is something cold, yet warm, deadly and safe to those you love, a thing that squeezes tight and sinks it’s fangs in deep and does not let go. A snake-souled little human if there ever was one.”

  “I am honored by your words, Honored Kuroda of the Celestial Snakes.” Orochimaru bows neatly.

  Kuroda continues as if Orochimaru had not spoken at all. “I think I shall have Manda stay with you to see what you become, snake-souled Orochimaru. He knows the way back to human civilization, and will lead you there. Travel well, little humans.” Kuroda must have deemed the conversation over, because he turned his huge body around the tree and disappeared into the encroaching twilight.

  “You thought you hallucinated a snake.” Cousin Madara paused where he was shaking out pills from the bottle that proclaimed it to be ‘migraine strength!’ anti-headache medicine, then shook out two more apiece for himself and Professor Senju. Awwww, significant others taking care of each other. Reminds Kagami of his parents being lovey-dovey and taking care of one another.

  “A massive Celestial Snake, yes.” He pauses in forming the rice ball, neatly packaging it in a strip of seaweed, before plating it before Orochimaru. A smaller rice ball with more egg and less curry is placed in front of Manda. “I’m not entirely sure it wasn’t a hallucination though.”

  Orochimaru strokes Manda’s head, offended. “But Manda is real and took us to Yu no Kuni.”

  “And how. I never heard Manda speak. For all I know he’s a normal snake.” Manda bares his fangs in an obvious threat display, affronted. Probably. In any case, Kagami gives him another rice ball.

  Orochimaru rolls his eyes, “Kagami, he’s telepathic. He was talking to me the whole way. How else did we find that multi-terrain vehicle?”

  “Luck? I had strawberries!”

  Cousin Madara swipes some rice balls, and gives half to Professor Senju before digging in. “So what’s this about Yu no Kuni, and would it have anything to do with why half of its hot springs district is demolished.”

  Kagami and Orochimaru share a Look. “The Hot Springs Destruction was entirely the fault of the Wild Hunt and the Yu no Kuni military. We just happened to be there.”

    By dint of winning rock-paper-scissors, Orochimaru gets to drive when they stumble across the jeep. Or Manda leads them to the jeep. Whichever makes the most sense, since Kagami hasn’t heard a peep from the supposedly asshole snake. Kagami takes a minute to demonstrate how to hotwire the car, but after that it’s all Orochimaru. It’s not like anyone’s around to call them out on the fact that Orochimaru doesn’t have a learner’s permit, and there’s no one around to crash into or injure, both important when teaching a beginner driver. This is a proper, normal learning experience and Kagami is willing to let his Minion have it. Plus, it’s nighttime and this can count as his nighttime driving experience! It’s a three-for-one!

  It’s also easier to navigate when he can stick his head out the roof and call out directions instead of having to keep pausing and rechecking directions. Though the point of that is rendered moot by Manda who is supposedly telling Orochimaru what to do - Kagami hasn’t heard a word out of the snake. At least so far, though, he and the snake are in agreement - they’re in western Hi no Kuni and headed to Yu no Kuni because that’s the closest site of civilization. Also, least likely to be suspicious of their lack of passports and the easiest way to reorient themselves into the direction of the University.

  On top of it all, Kagami found a massive wad of cash in the glove compartment, and it’s more than enough for a swanky inn for the night, including baths, and dinner. He knows he has enough grime, leaf litter, and other associated muck on him that a bath would be glorious.

  The moon and stars are bright and  light their path, so they make good time. It’s a little past 1 am (according to the probably wrong car clock) when they finally pull into the hot springs district of Yu no Kuni. The town is still bustling with activity, so they blend in seamlessly, for a given value of seamless. Some people look at him scandalized, as if he’s done something terribly illegal by tromping through the town disheveled and dragging his younger companion (also bedraggled) behind him, but it’s usually people who look like tourists rather than residents of the town.

  First things first, though. Kagami leads the way into a small clothing shop, since he’s fairly sure neither of their outfits can be salvaged. They’re going to need a first aid kit too, and then a hot meal and a bath. Actions one and two are completed quickly, and so is checking into a nice looking inn. The innkeep directs them to the baths,  saying dinner will be delivered after they’ve had their fill of the mineral rich waters. “Ahhhh, there’s nothing like a bath,” Kagami sighs happily as he pushes open the door between the dressing room and the baths proper, towel tucked neatly around his hips. He cleans off dutifully at the provided showers and stools, scrubbing away the accumulated grime and dirt from his hair and skin, humming happily. It was such an underrated luxury, to be clean. Orochimaru, with his long hair, will take longer and Kagami leaves him to it.

  The baths are sparsely populated at this time, with only a handful of other patrons lounging in the bath. The steam rising from the water occludes their faces, giving a nice hint of privacy, and Kagami gratefully slips into the hot water. The sounds of the night are muted, the laughter and noise of the crowd still on the streets dulled by the high walls surrounding the baths, the only discernable noise is … giggling? Kagami tries to tune it out, return to relaxing and letting the stress of the past day flow out of him, but the giggle rises in volume, and sounds…. Close?

  His eyes fly open -who the fuck giggles late at night like a perverted child flipping through a skin mag when sane people are trying to relax? - and Kagami whirls to confront the hooligan, temper snapping. “Oi, knock it off, or by the Small Lords I’ll make you.”

  His eyes meet Jiraiya’s startled (and guilty?) ones, then move to the notebook Jiraiya’s clearly been scribbling in, then the hole in the partition between the men’s and women’s baths. “Are you  peeping?!” It’s just Kagami’s luck that the quiet murmurs around them fall silent just as he speaks. In the blink of a moment there’s chaos, screams of outrage and terror filling the space. Someone on the women’s side - someone with spectacular aim - lobs over a stool, then a tub, then a rock, and each misses Jiraiya by centimeters as he scrambles out of the space.

  Orochimaru sighs from where he was just slipping into the bath. “By the Four and the Heavenly Courts, Jiraiya.” He gets up and rewraps his towel, disappearing into the misty after his erstwhile friend. Kagami decides it might be best to leave the area, since he knows that look on his Minion. Someone’s going to be eviscerated, and it’s still a 50-50 split on if it’s going to be verbal or physical. Getting viscera in his hair right after he just got clean is not a pleasant thought.

  A massive stone splashes violently into the bath from across the barrier - someone on that side must have a terrifying temper - tossing Kagami about like a toy boat caught in the currents of the Nanako.  He headbutts straight into a well developed pectoral, and he’s about to apologize, but - “Hey I know that bicep!” Just to be sure though he feels it up, and yup, he’s encountered that particular bicep before. Now, just where -?

  That particular question is answered quickly when Kagami ends up pinned by the throat to the side of the bath. “Oi! Heathen, ready to be sacrificed the Jashin-sama?” Oh good. Immortal One, Hidan. And where one immortal is, there’s bound to be - ayup, Immortal Two, Kazuku. They both look terrible, a mess of stitched over wounds, bruises, scabbed over cuts and burns plus or minus what look like bullet holes.

  There is only one recourse and that is to scream. Screaming in bath houses drew attention, and not of the good kind, and for good reason. No one wanted a pervert preying on someone in a bath. Hidan drops Kagami like he’s hotter than burning and starts quickly paddling away, but not quickly enough. One of the men at the other end stands, “Hey you! What were you doing?!” He’s built like a brick shithouse and is coming this way like a bull rampaging.

  Kagami takes the quickly escalating altercation as an opportunity to go fishing around his toiletries tub, thanking whatever God is looking out for him that he stuck a few disintegration seals in there prophylactically. He’s just about to pick one out from the bottom when he hears Kazuku loom up behind him. “We meet again Kagami Uchiha.”

  Sweet Flame of Heaven, could that man be any more menacing? Kagami turns rigidly, hoping that the Immortal won’t notice the crumpled wad of sealing paper in his fist, “Ah-hahaha, fancy meeting you here Kazuku! Are you enjoying your soak?”  Please please let societal conventions trap him like it had Hidan.

  Kazuku’s face veil hides any visible reaction beyond the narrowing of his eyes. “Better having found our missing ransom prisoner. I’m afraid I must insist you return.” Kazuku clamps a hand on Kagami’s shoulder, fingers digging in painfully. “We’re awaiting quite a sum of money in exchange for you. Pity no one specified ‘living’, though.” And there came the creep-factor. A+ Mr. Immortal.

  Kagami pretends to mull it over as he rises to his feet. “Just out of curiosity, how much am I worth?”

  Kazuku’s taken aback. “What?”

  “How much am I worth? Like, how much money are you expecting to get for me? I’m not a prodigy like my Minion, I’m not famous or rich, and I’m not paid all that much so I’m not someone with a massive net worth or anything. I can’t imagine anyone I know having the money to pay a ransom, except Minion and he probably wouldn’t because I’m pretty sure he’s not all too fond of me and is probably lulling me into a false sense of security so that when he finally decides that I’m of some specific use, he can play up the ‘favorite Minion’ angle and get away with whatever he needs, probably something entirely unethical, immoral, and/or illegal. It’s a toss up at this point. Either that or he thinks I’m a hilarious bumbling fool and is humoring me for comedic effect. In any case, he wouldn’t pay a ryo for me; nor would Uncle Setsuna cause he’s an asshole. All in all, I’m really not sure that you could’ve asked for all that much money, so I have to ask, how much am I worth? And is all the hassle of kidnapping me really worth the pittance you’re going to get?” Kagami hopes his nervous sweat is taken instead to be water from the bath. He’s only got one shot at this, and keeping Kazuku on the back foot with his anxious babble is imperative.

  “Aah- that is- Um, how should I say -,” Kazuku is frantically trying to think up something complimentary, and Kagami moves. The seal slaps down onto wet skin and adheres as Kagami forces magic through. Black veins scrawl out like a spiderweb of death over Kazuku’s silent scream of pain until they’ve covered the entirety of Kazuku in ink, and then with a underwhelming puff disintegrated into dust.

  Kagami sets fire to the ashes just in case - Immortals. One more thing to add to the list of traumatic incidences of the week, but on the bright side he’s got another functioning seal to patent. This one is all his, too!

  He trots towards the exit, hoping that Muscles McMuscley over there can keep Hidan occupied, but has no such luck when Hidan gets thrown across his path into the decorative stone wall. Experimental and Theoretical Magic holds that any result could be due to random chance, so repeated testing is necessary. Kagami looks at his spare seals, and goes for broke with a shrug. He’s already offed one person today, might as well  go for broke and collect the set. Hidan puffs off without so much as a farewell, and Kagami immolates his ashes too. For symmetry, and poetic justice. Unfortunately, it does nothing to fix the damage caused to the bath from the violent response to Jiraiya peeping, but Kagami is not responsible for that in any way shape or form. Things are looking up, finally.

  Almost immediately he has to reverse that opinion. The white-haired Fae is trapped in the entrance, Wolfy-less, by Orochimaru and Manda. The poor man - Kagami hopes the Fae is male, but really doesn’t want to go ask about gender and pronouns of the Fae since it’s really not his area of study - looks like he’s been through the wringer and then some, but also like he’s humoring Orochimaru who’s looking interested in all the worst ways; Kagami has to sympathize. A swift kick to Orochimaru’s butt fixes the situation nicely. “Minion! No sexual harassment in the the baths!”

  “Ah, no it’s fine, really we just bumped into one another -,” The Fae cuts himself off, then quickly does a double take at Orochimaru, then Kagami. “You’re the pair from the forest.”

  “And you’re Wild Hunt.” Kagami hurriedly ducks into the pants and shirt he’d laid out. “How’s Wolfy? I know things are still awkward about the whole ‘mouth’ thing, but can you apologize for me? Wolfy was pretty cool when he wasn’t trying to eat me.”

  “Wild Hunt? What mouth thing?” The Fae is perplexed, but shakes himself from it quickly. “Never mind that, you’re both wanted by the military. Stop!”

  “Oh, would you look at the time. We’ve got things to do, place to be, we should catch up some other time! See ya!” Kagami flashes the Fae a peace sign, then exits the room. He’s halfway down the hall when he hears the thunder of many feet pounding across the wooden floors behind him. Kagami bolts out back onto the streets, which are still crowded, and ducks around groups carousing drunkenly in the streets. Thank the Four for tourist destinations, this would never work anywhere else.

  He sees Orochimaru and Manda slip into the mouth of an alley, and follows. Just in time, as the mass of (uniformed! Since when do they have uniforms?!) people dash past. Some straggle behind, flashing badges and questioning drunks in the street. Orochimaru peers out, then starts digging through the pack. “Here, I think I can wrangle a disguise together, but you’re not going to like it.” Manda peeks out from where he’s acting like a hair tie for Orochimaru’s impromptu ponytail.

  Kagami stares at the assorted items Orochimaru has pulled out, and has a sinking feeling.

    “Does this explain the … outfits?” Cousin Madara asks around a bite of ice cream.

  Kagami has to take offense, because they look great. Arresting even. “ You’re just angry you can’t pull something like this off.”

  Orochimaru lays back and kicks a leg out like a pinup girl, crossed at the knee and everything, like it’s Exhibit A in their defense. Manda hisses, but Manda is biased and can be bought with egg yolk treats, so it might just be him begging for more food. Kagami obliges him either way.

  “This still doesn’t explain the destruction of the hot springs.” Professor Senju prompts around a spoonful of coffee ice cream.

  “The clothing - is- was rather integral to that. Still not our fault though, for want of us not doing much magic flinging.”Orochimaru shrugs.

  “That’s not no magic flinging.”

  “In all fairness, we only had one spell. Is that ‘no magic flinging’? No. But is it ‘town decimation level magic flinging’? Also no.” Cousin Madara opens his mouth, and Kagami slams on the coffee table, “THERE’S NO EVIDENCE BEYOND THE ANECDOTAL YOU CANNOT CONVICT US.”

    “Why did you even buy this stuff?” Kagami would like to lodge a protest with whatever court will take it that he is only doing this under duress. Not that he thinks it’s wrong to crossdress, if that’s your thing - and dresses are really comfortable, even though this one is kinda clingy and short-  but walking in heels. He is only wearing heels under extreme duress.

  “Here, heat the stick bit of this earring.” Orochimaru hands him a pair of dangly earrings. Kagami eyes them, then Orochimaru’s unpierced ears.

  “Minion no.”

  “I’ve wanted pierced ears anyways. Think of it as teenage rebellion.” Putting it that way helps, especially the bit where Orochimaru has him shove hot metal through his ears. Kagami considers the studs left in the pack of earrings, but ultimately decides against it for want of a mirror and stability. Seriously, he’s standing still and wobbling like a newborn fawn.

  Orochimaru pauses from where he’s sweeping on dramatic purple eyeshadow, lone bracelet sliding down his forearm, “Give me a minute, then we’ll sneak out.”

  “Remember, the game plan is drunk. Just until we get to the outskirts of town.” He once overs their appearance in a puddle, then has the hike the top of his dress higher. The lack of straps wasn’t doing him any favors, especially given the fact that raising the top meant raising the hem, and there was no way to make it non-scandalous. He looks at Orochimaru’s much more conservative dress, with it’s sleeves and leggings, and calls shenanigans. “This was rigged, wasn’t it.”

  Orochimaru links their arms at the elbow, then sniffs, “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” before they stumble out into the street. The soldiers give them a wide berth since two underage looking drunk girls is a recipe for a career ending headline should someone snap a badly staged photo, and Kagami gets a good look at their badges when he stumbles into one of the younger looking ones. Who knew Yu no Kuni had an active offensive military - last time he checked, they supposedly only had a defensive branch.

  All things considered though, the disguises work well. Entirely too well, as they stumble “drunkenly” into the woods. It’s nearing dawn, and they’ve been traveling across the Elemental Nations for almost a full day, they’re Four knows how far from home, and there are crows. Too many moving to count, though Kagami does try, because that old rhyme hasn’t steered him wrong yet. Orochimaru starts poking at some half moss covered rock, then starts digging.

  He stops counting when he feels a rush of magic - the size and quantity that makes people nervous when it’s not in a controlled environment. “Minion - “

  Then he sees the dog. Wolf. Massive Canis Whateverus. “Fire God’s flames.”

  Orochimaru looks proud, “The control seal works. Guess you have something to patent and sell for a lot of money to the military after all.” What. Right. What they set out to do. That thing. Somehow it feels tawdry, like it pales in comparison to the journey, but considering that had immortals and Fae and shooting and massive telepathic hallucination snakes and sky high heels… maybe it’s because it’s anticlimactic? Now whatever life lesson about messing with the forces of life and death, and the role of humans in the vastness of the cosmos, trying to take the easy way out, the value of thinking before acting - whatever he was supposed to be learning and internalizing - has become moot. He would have been successful even if they hadn’t been caught in the original graveyard, only with less property damage and displacement. Does that fact mean anything? Is it the journey, not the result that’s ultimately worth something, something better than financial stability and security? “Kagami, now is not the time for a meditative trance.”

  “What? Oh. Right.” Kagami scrambles up behind Orochimaru on the back of the … let’s just call it a dog. “Time to head home?”

  “Time to head home.” Poor Manda yawns and uncircles himself before draping himself like a particularly scaled scarf around Orochimaru’s shoulders. The eyeshadow - sharp like winged eyeliner, or whatever Cousin Mikoto likes to proclaim - and Manda match, for a given value of all purples match, and Kagami is struck by a wandering thought.

  “Hey, Orochimaru - “

  “Kagami. Duck.”

  “What duck?” Kagami whirls about on the gently trotting Reanimated dog. Then he sees. “Oh.” And promptly ducks.

  The flaming boulder is large, surprisingly so for Yu no Kuni, which according to legend (and famously) repurposed all its rocks for bathhouses. It still misses by a wide enough margin to be called a warning shot, though, which is a consternation best left for another time since the dog freaks out. It bounds into the town, leaping over buildings and landing neatly in streets as waves of magic buffet them - first an earthquake hemming them in on one side, a wall of fire bearing down on them from due north, a gust of hurricane force gales from above, and Kagami is just waiting for the tsunami of water as he hangs onto the patchy fur of their ride as it bounces around in what might generously be called evasive maneuvers. He tries not to think about the mass destruction such massive spellworks must be leaving, or that he’s still too low on magic to do anything about it. Also, considering that even a most basic shielding spell needs at least two other people (besides himself), he’s still up a creek about stopping the military from wrecking up their people and country’s main source of income. Kagami hopes they have good insurance.

  He stops caring for things outside his gastrointestinal tract around the time they smash a tank - which is painted a completely different design than the Yu no Kuni uniforms, so it might a completely different group, fun - ,though, since he’d rather not given his minion blackmail leverage from puking all over him. Also Manda is in the way, probably would take offense at getting human digestion peristalsis’d all over him, and is still probably highly venomous besides. Kagami decides that focusing on breathing would probably be best and leaves the heavy duty stuff to Orochimaru. It’ll probably be more appreciated long term.

  Maybe he should invest in an anti-motion sickness charm - it might be useful to have on hand, especially given recent events. “Oh, for the Air God’s sake,” Kagami vaguely makes out Orochimaru grumbling caustically, then his world goes black.

    “In all fairness, you were projecting quite loudly according to Manda, and making you go to sleep saved us all the hassle of having to clean up vomit.” Orochimaru shrugs unrepentantly, “I’m not sure why you’re complaining, we got back to the University in one piece.”

  “Doesn’t mean you couldn’t have asked. Also, there is no way you had enough magic to pull off the Reanimation, power the control seal, and knock me out.”

  Professor Senju sighs, resigned, “Not if his current research project is magic storage in crystalline structures.” Orochimaru waves regally, showing off the stone bead bracelet he had pulled on around the time of their outfit change.

  Kagami has never felt more betrayed in his life. “You are an awful awful person and I hope you get caught in shady business and end up in the weirdest situation you could ever hope to imagine,” he informs Orochimaru candidly. “And when that transpires, I will laugh in your face.”

  Cousin Madara takes a hard swig of the brandy bottle Professor Senju had unearthed. “So this is how you ended up on the run from international law enforcement, the military of Hi no Kuni, and the military of Yu no Kuni. Yet you came here why?”

  “Oh that’s easy. We need an alibi. And to patent the seals. Uh, plus we may have broken into the Registrar’s office.”

    Omake:

  “So, who all bet against Tsunade’s bet?” The show of hands was depressing. No one would have any reason to suspect that the regular goings on of a Friday night would make international headlines, much less cause International Incidents.

  Hikaku read the bet slip.‘There will be wild adventures by persons in this pool that cause an international incident tonight.’ Innocuously phrased, yet almost prophetic.

  “All in favor of banning Tsunade Senju or any proxies from betting in any future pools, raise your hand?” The show of hands was unanimous.

[dramallamadingdang]

Reply time!

First of all, thanks to everyone who offered up kitten name suggestions! They aren’t born yet (but will be if I play the game tonight), but I am now prepared with names for them. :)

Anyway, these are for @kayleigh-83, @mrningbrd, @carriests2designsworld, @acquiresimoleons, @nathanialroyale, @nyshabrokeit, @getmygameon, and @penig...

kayleigh-83 replied to your photoset “Amelia Shankel – Adrian and Gwendolyn’s spawn – became a toddler. She...”

LOL that laziness might be an impediment to skilling though!

Well, not for the toddler skills, though. My rule is that I lock toddler skill wants in the order they appear (besides potty-training, because that just happens naturally because of the toddler care schedule I employ in households that have toddlers). If there’s another Sim in the household with time, they will teach the kid the skill they have locked. Only the locked skill can be worked on until it is learned. Then I lock the next one the toddler rolls (if they roll more). I’m perfectly OK with toddlers not learning all of the toddler skills. Or any of them, for that matter, although they are all eventually potty-trained by default.

kayleigh-83 replied to your post “Name My (Pixel) Kittens! :)”

Weird true fact – years ago I read a historical fiction novel about Josephine Bonaparte, and after reading it, I decided that one day I wanted a pair of cats named Napoleon and Josephine because the pair of names were just so perfect together. So seeing them on your Simblr was kind of a trip!

It was unintentional on my part. A random pet name generator spat out the name “Napoleon,” and I went with it. (Had no idea it would actually fit him pretty well. :) ) And then when there was a want for another cat, it seemed logical to get a female named Josephine.

As for the real people...Say what you will about Napoleon, but he did love his wife. Their love letters are like, whoa! :) It’s too bad that they were never able to have children, or else I’m sure they’d’ve stayed together to the end. Or at least I hope they would have. Maybe in an alternate reality... :)

kayleigh-83 replied to your photoset “Promotions! This is where Adrian and Gwendolyn ended up by the end of...”

I'm trying to be better about not power skilling my way through promotions, without them rolling for the want to do so. Much more realistic that way. Although I do allow a bit of leeway for skilling that happens as a result of preferred hobby interactions, because that's its own kind of realism in itself. :)

My whole playing style is centered around Sims free-willing because, IMO, that’s how you learn who a Sim really is. Basically, they do what they want unless they roll up a want that I can actively fill. So, unless they roll up a want for a skill point, I don’t command them to skill. That said, I’ve made autonomous lots of stuff that isn’t by default, and some of it confers skill points. So, if they choose to read a cookbook or work on restoring a car, then so be it, but I’m not going to make them study cooking or mechanical unless they roll a want to do so. That’s how it works for me. Frankly, I find force-skilling and Sims at the top of their careers and raking in ridiculous amounts of money just incredibly boring, so this is what I eventually came up with to mitigate that.

As for Cherry, specifically...She seems entirely uninterested in bettering herself. Her life centers around sex, social interaction in general, bubble baths, and interacting with the dog, in that order. She’s a hedonist, really, and I can relate.

mrningbrd replied to your post “Name My (Pixel) Kittens! :)”

i like that people gave actual french names and i gave a dessert

Ah, but it’s a yummy dessert, so it’s all good! :) 

(Is it bad that when I hear the new French president’s surname, I think of the dessert and laugh myself silly? :) )

carriests2designsworld replied to your photoset “I’m going to be using this 10-year-old window set made by Tiggy quite...”

I just finished setting up the base of my new town, Stockbridge. Yeah, well, my recolor list for this is already about 4 pages long. Including windows. So, I'm just going to snag these up, and add to my already-revolting downloads folder. Between your recolors, and mine...I may actually get a real post-apocalyptic neighborhood! LOL

Heh, I’m hoping I’ll get to play retro-Strangetown before the end of the year... :) Nah, that’s not true. I’m building it and making stuff for it concurrently, and I’m only building houses for the premades plus the two households in the family bin, so it shouldn’t be that long. I think. I hope. I can get a little obsessive with the making of stuff...

acquiresimoleons replied to your post “Some random thoughts before I do whatever it is I’m going to do...”

Offensive? Pffft :p i think you're awesome, extremely helpful and kind. I also really enjoy your gameplay, its so unique and entertaining :D

Aw, thank you! <3 I do try to be nice here on Tumblr and online in general...although if I’m feeling tetchy, I’ll occasionally go to Simsecret and argue with people. (Always under my name, though; I don’t do the silly “anon” thing. If I’ve got a beef with someone, I’ll own what I say to them and say it to their “face.” Anon is for pussies.) But in general, I’m a person of strong opinions and I live a...well, alternative lifestyle, both of which have the potential to offend or just piss off certain people, particularly certain people that I know follow me, but I try to rein that in here. I’m here on this blog to be all about a silly game, to share stuff and be helpful when I can, not to pick silly fights or to sling around politics and social issues or to be shocking for the sake of being shocking.

nathanialroyale replied to your post “Some random thoughts before I do whatever it is I’m going to do...”

I've been hmming on retexturing old dirty things for this theme or make them more medieval for my game. Otherwise I am sadly left with little ideas for this theme that could be useful to my current game :/

And oh, hey! Here comes some of that stuff that people might find gross, yay! :)

I am of the opinion that my game needs dungeon clutter, particularly things to hang on walls and/or peg racks. Which could be medieval or...um, not. ;) I’m also envisioning a certain kind of bed. I have a neighborhood wherein I occasionally play around with *ahem* certain things. I mean, it’d be nice if there was more functional dungeon-y stuff, but even non-functional decorative stuff can give the right atmosphere in combination with some functional stuff. Buuuuut what I’d like to have would require me to know how to mesh, which is a vast frontier that I have yet to breach. :) I do already have some stuff that could use some nicer/updated textures, though... I don’t know that anyone else would be interested, though, in terms of sharing. I have no idea how kinky/fetishy the community generally is and/or whether or not people would want to admit to it and/or whether or not other people who are kinky/fetishy would actually want that sort of stuff in their game, much less whether or not GOS would want such stuff posted there. ;) So...yeah. :)

nyshabrokeit replied to your post “Coupla replies before I toddle off to bed. :)”

I used to have inaccessible beds, but it bugs me that sims don't walk as close to the bed as they can before teleporting. The number of times I had a sim stand up from the dinner table and instantly teleport halfway across the house to bed... >.>

I have actually never had a Sim teleport across the house to get in a bed. They will do long-distance bed-making, though. Like, they’ll stand up from the breakfast table and do the bed-making animations while across the house the bed does the animations, too. But, for instance, in order to use the bed-for-three, even if I command the Sim who “owns” the middle space to go to bed, she’ll only follow the command if she’s in the same room as the bed. I don’t know if I have another mod that’s contributing to this, though.

getmygameon replied to your photoset “It’s winter! Time to take care of the autumn leaves because I don’t...”

Just don't catch on fire XD

That doesn’t happen to me, either. I think it’s because I have a mod that prevents fireplaces from starting fires. I’m guessing that burning leaf piles uses the same code, so the mod is nuking that, too.

getmygameon replied to your photo “Hmmmm. where are they off to? :) Oh! :) (I’ve never bred pets before,...”

I only bred once with my - oh my gosh I don't remember which fam - but it was kitties - 3 of em and couldn't tell em apart worth a damn lol XD

I think the game only has a certain number of puppy/kitten coat patterns, so, yeah, kittens all tend to look alike. But they tend to grow up looking very different. Napoleon and Josephine looked the same as each other as kittens -- white kittens -- but they look very different as adults. I suspect the same will be true for in-game-born puppies/kittens.

penig replied to your post “Replies! :)”

There's a lowest-common-denominator factor in HP's popularity, honestly. If you want a truly great fantasy author, read the greatest English language author of the 20th century, Diana Wynne Jones.

Well, I’ll say this for HP. I might not have any interest in reading it, myself, but it got my severely-dyslexic son -- who had great struggles with learning to read and being interested in reading -- to read. He’s always been a rather anti-intellectual jock (which has always irritated me, as a nerd), I think partly to cover up his reading struggles, but even his jock buddies when he was a kid decided it’d be not-uncool to read Harry Potter. So they did, and he did, too. And then because he got through the Harry Potter books, he felt encouraged enough to read some other things, too. So while he’ll never, ever be a great reader, at least he’s no longer afraid of books and he’s more confident that he can read, if he ever wants to. So, my son is probably one of those lowest common denominators, and frankly God bless JK Rowling for Harry. I just don’t have any interest in reading the books myself. :)