#Queer isn't a box

[hazel2468]

You know, I’ll say it again.

I’m in the process of working out the legal things that need to be done before I actually marry my wife.

When talking to my lawyer, I need to closet myself and refer to my wife’s girlfriend, my metamour, as “a friend”. My boyfriend is also “my friend”. Because I don’t know if my lawyer would agree to continue working with me. If he knew that my wife and I were polyam.

Polyamory is queer. Polyam people are queer, Polyam people share our struggles, our fight for recognition and safety. Our fight to be able to love who we love and be with who we want to be with.

[thiefscant]

every day i think about that person on tiktok who said having all the bg3 companions be bi/pan was bad actually bc it meant that straight women could live out their fantasy of fucking a gay man by getting w/ astarion who is "gay coded."

because i guess feminine/flamboyant bi/pan men don't exist to that person or something? i wish i could stop thinking about this stale ass take but it haunts me.

[just-a-bird-in-a-sweater]

Use whatever labels you want!

Things don't need to make sense to other people as long as they make you happy/comfortable

[olliecoded]

thank u to the person who called me a "transtrender" and said i'm faking it and not queer enough and learned about queerness through tiktok etc etc. all because i made the absolutely fucking buck wild claim that we should let bi lesbians live their lives in peace. wow

[aeide-thea]

the thing abt h*rry styles is like. i don't even personally like his music, and while i still haven't looked up the details of the latest nonsense it sure sounds like he said something dumb and unexaminedly homophobic and it's more than fair to critique that, but the way some people talk abt him sure is revealing wrt how agonizingly fucking narrowly they define queerness, and how viciously fucking snidely they want to police it!

[siblingshowdown]

willel propoganda. they are THE SIBLINGS EVER

propaganda in the ask box will not sway me in deciding who is included in the bracket

[inklingofadream]

periodic reminder that 4thewords is great :) never timed well bc it never occurs to me to say this in november when they offer a month of free subscription time, but! it is making the process of catching up on polychives more satisfying. finishing this chapter is like fighting a literal beast, rather than a metaphorical one, because for $4 a month (or slightly less, I buy the end of year bundle) 4thewords will provide Beasts

[no-good-dirty-homosuck]

hi tumblr dot com its rant timeeee 

mspec lesbians and mspec gays are real and its so simple imo. i used to be an mspec gay (i thought i wouldn't mind fucking anyone but only wanted to romantically be with men). 

"i am a man who wants to fuck guys and girls but romantically i am only attracted to men and only desire a romantic relationhip with men" easy. mspec gay 

"i am a woman who only wants to have sexual relations with another woman but could easily have a romantic relationship with a man as well" boom. mspec lesbian 

to quote a popular post "i think we should just leave fags and dykes alone". let them do what they want. 

getting pissy because "THIS lesbian doesnt conform to MY definition of lesbian and THAT means that shes EVIL!!!!!!" just makes you look like an asshole and an idiot. there's not two distinct sides. its not a coin. its a community. and if youre not going to respect everyone in it then idc what you have to say. 

anyway mspec lesbians and gays out there i love you.

[cooliopumpkin]

Have Some Fat/Trans Body Poetry I Guess

--

Every day I mourn bodies I never had.

I trace their hips, gripping his nipped little waist with my thumbs and forefingers and letting them drag down to an ass born to draw the eye of men and women alike.

She's social, he's confident, they're enlightened. They move through the world with the ease that follows a lifetime not of accomodation, but expectation. An ease I've only witnessed from a third person point of view.

They hang from chandeliers at parties, she loves borrowing clothes from friends, and he practically lives shirtless. Their bodies serve as sources of pride, vessels that allow for and enhance the pleasures of living unrestrained.

Their wedding ring fit on the first try, slid effortlessly over knuckles that don't divot and into place by one of many that felt a shameless attraction and never allowed for doubt.

I see glimpses of him in the mirror sometimes, in the devil horns that form when I dry my hair with a t-shirt or dragging the corners of my mouth up into a zigzag smirk. Her eyes feel warm when I have the nerve to make contact.

Sometimes I don't. Sometimes my gaze stays locked on my freckles, my thighs, my bicep, where my ribcage turns into muffin top, for fear of breaking the illusion, for fear that I'll remind myself that I'm inescapably me, even when their features are so striking reflected back at me.

[dysperdis]

So, it's currently about 10°C outside, I need to wear a jacket inside, and my upstairs tenants are running MULTIPLE air conditioners.

Are my tenants (on an "utilities included" rental agreement) being assholes, or is this just "landlord brain" kicking in? 'Cuz seriously, I can't afford the bill from the ppl upstairs, & they don't seem to give a shit... am I missing something?

[philcoulsonismyhero]

Since I’m apparently Silent Witness Posting this evening, here’s a collection of miscellaneous favourite screencaps of my guy Harry Cunningham, a strong contender for Blorbo Of All Time. Look at this ridiculous man with his wonky smile and frequently silly hair, and if you don’t know him then please be advised that he has both a Very Period Drama-esque Posh English accent, and the sense of humour of a creatively rude 12-year-old with a fondness for puns. Ludicrous man, I Love him.

[belfryprepz]

Don't y'all get tired of deep throating the Queen's boot? Y'all are progressive until you're actually asked to critically think about real word effects

[pepi-nillo]

have i mentioned that i finished watching inspector koo? because i think it's important that i mention i finished inspector koo because the world needs to know i finished watching inspector koo-

[aceaceace144616]

How am I supposed to be bisexual AND trans?

Someone please give me instructions

[romancerepulsed]

i keep seeing misinformation about this, so: queerplatonic relationships do not have a set definition. the name comes from the idea that it's "queering" the platonic relationship, tailoring it to the individual relationships' own desires. it isn't necessarily romance lite, but it also isn't necessarily whatever definition you want to impose on it. the point of queering the platonic relationship is to break away from strict allonormative views on friendship, romance, and sex, not to make a new categorical box to fit in.

the answer to "what is a qpr?" is "whatever you want it to be." sometimes that is romance lite. sometimes it's a deeply committed friendship. sometimes it's friends who have a sexual relationship. sometimes it's based on an entirely different mode of attraction. sometimes it's fluid and impossible to put into words. it's whatever you want it to be. it's queer.

[inkskinned]

it isn't really complicated, but i still can't tell my grandma about it. my girlfriend is also my boyfriend and i'm her girlboyfriend and there are a lot of days this feels like smoothing sheets over a good mattress. it feels like getting a cup of good hot chocolate. we paint our nails lesbian flag pink, and i watch her eyelashes make shadows on her cheeks. she wants to kiss me because i am really good at baking, and i want to kiss her because when i am freaked out about how i spilled coffee, she just hands me extra napkins and helps me clean. he is so handsome i want to eat my fist. they once just winked at me and i couldn't talk for like the next fifteen minutes.

i haven't seen the L word and i was raised catholic. my earliest experiences with queer relationships were through harrowing conversations and hushed questions and blood on the ground. i didn't like boys soon enough. what, are you gay? asked to a 6th grader, almost like a demand.

when she is asleep next to me and i can feel the dreams run up and down her body, i pretend we are both somewhere in the stars. i like to picture a future full of fruit trees, and writing him poetry. sometimes she wakes up, has a whole conversation with me, goes back to sleep, and utterly forgets that we ever even spoke. she is always kind to me, even in that liminal half-there ghost. i like the croaked, raw way her voice sounds in the very-early morning, the way she always seems surprised i'm still here, and home.

on the internet, there are a lot of people who would be annoyed by both of us, and how labels must be pruned into orchids. a box has to hold and define the insides. people must be organized.

we went on a date last night, and the host said, oh, table for 2 nice ladies? neither of us are ladies, but also we are very much 2 nice ladies. i have been wearing her sweater nonstop. he has frequently been forced into wearing my taylor swift official merch quarter-zip because i was worried about him catching a chill, and you simply cannot be cool in an official taylor swift quarter-zip. do not worry: they listen to better music than i do, and their voice sounds like leaves falling.

i wear the skirts and makeup and i am better with spackle and know how to drive stick. recently someone commented on my work - you're just a man trying to reappropriate lesbian spaces. sometimes i feel like she is a clementine to me, and sometimes i feel like he is a german shepherd and sometimes i feel they are a bird. i like watching his hands over a guitar. can i write this poem, even? how can you be a lesbian if you're sometimes with a man? or you are the man?

how can i, huh. you know, our first date lasted 3 days. we'd been flirting for over a year before i finally asked her out. i'd already written her into poetry. she'd already written me into songs.

last night, in the late night, when they woke up again, confused about where they were, they said - oh, thank god. this is your arm. there's just something so precious to me about the specifics, the denotation that the arm was (thank god!) mine. i really liked that definition. i liked the obvious relief because i understand it.

i say yeah, i have a partner. i mean - oh. thank god. it's your arm.