#Ray will never really let Sand go

[tungtung-thanawat]

the irony is that Top is so much more faithful to Mew than Ray. Poor Mew really can’t hedge his bets well can he?

[emptyjunior]

It looks like with the movies taking off, everyone is on the Dune train now!! Which is very exciting, I’m glad a bunch of new people are discovering this media and reading the books, but can I recommend you the David Lynch, Dune (1984) movie.

First of all, if you are invested in the lore of the books and the deeper messaging of the story, you’re going to need to turn that part of your brain Off. If you love kick ass shit and are willing to be slightly tipsy while you watch and have a great goddamn afternoon, this is the flick for you.

Now first fun fact I’m going to share with you. David Lynch (twin peaks, eraserhead director, celebrated surrealist) turned down the opportunity to direct Return of the Jedi for this film. A film that was devastatingly slow to make, changed hands multiple times, had a pricy VFX budget of $40 million and then made barely $31 million, David Lynch turned down Star Wars to work on it. And he did this when he had never read the novel, and did not even like or engage with sci fi media. THAT’S how you know we’re really in for something.

Now this film has some big names in it! We’ve got a young Kyle MacLachlan who is rocking some Devastating outfits:

We’ve got Sir Patrick Stewert as our Gurney and Sting, lead singer of the police, playing the 15 year old Feyd Rautha! If you wanted to see a grown man, sprayed orange, basically naked playing a free wheeling maniac you are in for a treat! And another fun fact, David Lynch also did not know who these actors were, he made a mistake and thought Patrick Stewert was someone else and when Sting said he was in the police he assumed he was in an organization of lawmen.

Now these characters are familiar to you, but let me get into the unfamiliar. Lynch made some directorial executive decisions throughout this film, for I suppose the ease of the viewer? I mean an adaptation is supposed to adapt so he went let me change some stuff up👏👏👏.

Those who paid attention to Jessica’s backstory may know about the Weirding Way. This is a martial arts style created by the Bene Gesserit, and practiced by Paul. It is more than just a fighting style but also an important philosophical concept, like Aikido or how Kung Fu has foundations in Buddhism.

You may also be familiar with the quote “My name is a killing word.” This inner monologue of Paul’s refers to how his title Muad’dub will be used to spur a holy war. A simple name is what people will die and bleed for, it will be what they scream as they cut down enemies.

Dark! Intense! That’s Dune, anyways in the novel it’s easy to take your time exploring these concepts. Introducing the audience to the religious ramifications of a simple name and fighting practice and how these things can have rippling repercussions upon a society like the Freman.

Now David Lynch didn’t have time for that! He had the belief (that may be right🤷‍♂️!) That watching a bunch of people kick each other on top of a sand dune would be Lame😭😭

So he made the choice for his film that “My name is a killing word” was to be taken Absolutely Literally and invented a device where if the freman said the name Muad-dib, shit would explode.

If they said Paul’s name, they could Explode Stuff. Let it sink in how rad that is. Hell yeah man, hell yeah. Imagine me interpreting religious text that way, imagine if I made a bible movie and the moral I took from a parable is that when Jesus asked for food and everyone donated fish, I concluded that Jesus was a mutant who had fish powers and could immediately conjure fish with magic and gave him fish death rays that shot out of his hands.

So that’s what you can expect from this interpretation, the weirding way now means everyone has Lasers its rad as hell.

Some other incredible choices made! This is a spoiler, but in the novels and the new films you can see the Freman collecting every scrap of water they can. Dr Liet-Kynes, the planetologist, reveals to us it’s because they have a long, multiple generation spanding plan to fix the planet. By introducing this water back they hope to reset the ecosystem over centuries of work. The reason they have been unable to do this is because a green planet would obviously not have worms and sand who produce spice, the most coveted drug in the empire, so imperial and harkonnen forces have been stopping this from ever happening. They want to be free from oppression so that they can start to work on slowly fixing their world, a project that plays out in Paul’s adult life and has its own dramas and complexities.

In Dune 1984??? The moment, the Moment Paul lays out his cousin and throws the final punch, it begins to rain in Arrakis. As if they were all under a magical curse and were just waiting for a teenager to come fight another teenager and then the water will come back. It’s so good, it’s so funny.

Also Pugs! House Atreides official Pugs! Paul has pugs in his lap!!

This is honestly an adaptation choice that I really really like! Paul is the result of centuries of selective breeding, this practice is an artform to the Bene Gesserit and a skill that they monitor closely. It produces bizarre and sometimes terrifying results and is the reason for Paul’s existence.

I think having an animal that was also created through selective breeding, was engineered from a wolf into an animal that can hardly breathe is an incredible metaphor! A smart and identifiable symbol for the audience, I think it’s a slam dunk and the new movies should have done it to.

Anyways can not recommend this film enough.

-The body suits the bad guys wear are made out of real body bags, that actually had been used.

-David Lynch to this day hates it.

-The original cut was four hours.

-The cast and crew were sick the Entire shoot with something they called Montezuma's Revenge, which was probably just food poisoning, side effects from the constant smog because they shot the whole thing on backup generators, illness from the cockroach infestation and terrible morale.

-Frank Herbert saw it multiple times and said he absolutely loved it.

-When they ride the worms, sick rock jams play.

If you love electric guitar, lasers, worms and will forgive me for not including all the trigger warnings cause Yes this film will gross you out, then go watch this movie.

[anadiasmount]

u and jude being in the same friend group and ur all together on a trip, though jude has been in love with you since day one and on the first night there u two sleep together, leaving u confused and wishing for more knowing things couldn’t be the same after the special night <3

no one knows - jude bellingham x reader.

quick sum: request above!

wc: 2.5k | masterlist | jude’s masterlist

psa 🗣️: hii!! ik i said this would be posted sooner but i got sidetracked (what’s new… also don't hate me i didn't proof read...) ANYWAYS... this does contain small bit of smut so minors dni! like always hope you enjoy 🤍

the soft waves of the hammock you laid on rocked slowly as you stared out into the almost night sky. the different shades of orange now purple and blue, tiny star appearing in the distance, waves hitting the shore making the whole atmosphere just at peace. it was a king day of travel, having missed your first flight due to a delay on the train.

you had arrived last, but it didn’t matter because you were finally with your friends, wanting to make most of the trip you had planned. you changed into a knitted crème color swimsuit, loving how it fit and hugged your figure, accentuating your curves and pushing up your cleavage just right.

everyone inside was asleep, but you couldn’t go to sleep without wanting to watch the night fall. you loved the beach, the smell, the feel of sand, how your hair went to its natural state, and the feeling of freedom. you quickly got distracted by the click of the door opening, footsteps approaching where you were.

“hi,” you squeak as you see jude lean against the palm tree pole, shirtless and wearing similar shorts as your bathing suit. “you okay? you were the last to arrive and your here alone,” jude asked softly not being able to hold back the gulp at how dreamingly your body looked under this ray and light.

“i’m okay… just can’t sleep for some reason,” you stifle a small laugh, “plus i haven’t seen a view like this in so long, i just wanted too see it, i mean take a look.” jude obliged, looking around in a daze at how the night sky looked now. “yeah you’re right… i feel at ease,” jude nodded.

“how come you’re still up? is everything okay with you?” you sat up, propping your elbow and the back of your hand resting on your temple, your full attention on jude. you couldn’t deny but feel a tad bit confused he was here. jude never really spoke to you an when he did it was short and simple. so you wouldn’t be surprised if he made small talk and left.

“jet leg i guess? you’d think after all the constant travel i’d be used to it but it’s always difficult to fall asleep after a long flight for me,” jude explained taking a seat on the wood chair that was by the balcony. you hummed in response, your hand dragging up from your thigh to your hip letting it rest.

you sensed he wanted to tell you more, his fingers tapping against his massive and toned thighs, his eyes adverting from you to the sea. jude wasn’t shy, quite the opposite, and he knew in this moment it was now or never. “do i make you nervous?” you ask slyly, standing and walking over to him. you hated feeling awkward and left out around him, and you needed to know the reason behind it.

jude was a complete different person in his games, in public, around your friends, yet, he treats you so differently which threw you off the edge. jude roamed your eyes from your tanned shiny legs, your curved torso and bust, his heart stammering against his chest as you looked so willingly and utterly beautiful. “or do you just hate me?”

“hate you? why would i hate you?”

“don’t know… you tell me. it’s like this every time we’re around each other. the tension? you can’t even look into my face? you barely speak a word to me? if i’ve done something to offend you, let me know so i can apologize,” you spoke dearly, following his exact movements by roaming your eyes on his figure. legs spread out begging to be touch, abs defined, with veins adorning his arms. jude was fucked, all he could think about was you in this damn bathing suit and the silly theory you made in your head.

hate you? that’s impossible.

“what if i told you it was the opposite? what if i told you i’m infatuated by you?” jude looked up, standing and over towering you, your gaze shifted from confident to shy. your eyes lowering as jude looked down at you. “that when i’m around you all i can think about is you. how you look, smile, talk and walk, smell… it’s so infuriating to be this madly in love with you and not being able to do a thing about it…” jude confessed, drawing the air out of your lungs, like the wind that breezed the night sea.

“i feel like you’re lying to me…” you couldn’t help but say. a hesitance of insecurity, and that’s there’s absolutely no way this man was in love or was confessing any sort of feelings when actions proved otherwise. “why would i lie to you hm? i’m being completely truthful here y/n,” god the way he said your name had you trembling your knees. “you can’t be jude. we’re so different-”

“that’s what you think, and it’s all in your head. tell me this second you don’t feel it? the magnitude sensation for me to approach you? i can see it in your pretty face darling. now it’s you who can’t even look at me? or yet talk,” jude inches closer to you, seeing your chest rapidly raise up and down.

“you’re everything to me… i’ve had to resist myself because i have no idea if you feel the same way. i’d rather love you from a distance than be embarrassed and you not liking me back…” jude traced with his fingertips along your forearm. “don’t you see it? everything i’ve done it’s because of you… i wouldn’t be here if you weren’t y/n. i just want you…” his pleading and vulnerability in his voice had you gulping a response.

“let me show it to you hm? how you make me feel… how you deserved to be treated,” you nodded feeling the heat rise in you. the familiar desire to be wanted, appreciated, touched by a man like jude. “please jude…” you said in a small whimper, looking up where jude had a hungry gazed, lips slightly open. “show me-”

you remembered how cool the wall was when he hit your back against it, kissing you deeply, so messy and hot. how his hands traveled from your side and around your spine, gripping your ass as he ran his tongue down from your jaw and pulse point. you could feel everything, how big jude was, how hot his skin was to your touch, how desperate the need was.

he had dragged you to his room, his lips never leaving yours any second. it was so vivid in your head, how your back pressed against his chest, how his fingers slowly traced your abdomen down to inside your bottoms, his fingers covered by you slick coat, adding the bit-test of pressure on you clit rubbing it in small circles. all you could focus on was the determination and how hot he looked like this.

jude untied the bows from your bottoms, freeing you completely. he felt like he would die any second, this was real and no turning back. he could’ve watched you all night like this. so sensitive with the smallest touch.the familiar burn in your tummy when he sunk into you with a forceful thrust, hips curling and rocking to pleasure waves of emotions, the heat between your legs as he talked you through it all. the flicker in his eyes when you moaned and begged his name, how your nails scratched against his back asking for more and more.

“you belong to me… don’t you forget that y/n…” he kissed you sloppy, pushing one last thrust and spilling into you. it wasn’t just one round, he made sure to take you against the wall, balcony, shower, and the small couch in his room, in many positions too. he wanted to savor the moment like he imagined. this was way better than his dreams and thoughts in his head. you were so tight, so wet, very much made exactly for him.

the heavy weight on top you made you wake up early. you were used to waking up this early, but not with a hot body on top of you. with one eye barely open you looked at the digital clock, showing just before 7am, the whole house quiet. you looked around before your eyes landed on a sleepy jude, tucked between your arm and head nuzzled into your neck.

your heart raced, not being able to control your confused and guilty emotions. last night was real then? not a sick dream in your head or a movie, it had happened here in his room. “oh shit…” you whispered, chest sinking down as your controlled your breathing. you had to get out, feeling a tad stuck and rushed in space. this wasn’t supposed to happen… even though it felt so right. so meant to be.

you had managed to sneak jude to his back without waking him up. his lips pursed and brown drawn in, breathing heavy. you changed quickly back to your bikini, leaving the room how you had remembered. you ran a hand against your hair, the need to throw water in your face to cool the warmth in your cheeks. you weren’t used to this. you never did one night stands or had friends with benefits relationships. if that’s even what it was.

you couldn’t help but think maybe jude was lying to just get into your pants. you had seen how jude was like when around other woman. but you weren’t other woman. you we’re y/n. the shy but outgoing, smart but naive, and overly patient y/n. you didn’t want it be like them, or seen like them either. all you could think of was him. his brown eyes and stupid gentlemen demeanor.

you avoided him anywhere he was or walked in. the only way you could escape and let go of things was this. you weren’t used to this and didn’t have much experience so you did what you were best at which was ignore jude. but even your friends had noticed you were off and that there was a glow to you. drawing attention from everyone and the person who caused it all.

a small part of you did have a twinge of faith… what if he wasn’t lying? what if everything he proved to you last night was exactly how he felt? what if he was madly in love with you? that you were the woman of his dreams? that it wasn’t just sex and there was raw emotions included?

the ghost feeling against your back made you shiver, realizing it was jude who stood behind you, locking you with both arms extending out to cage you in as you cut up fruit. “you left me this morning,” jude spoke into your ear, feeling your weight shift from one foot to another. “i didn’t want anyone to catch us,” you say shaky, making up a lie knowing part of it was true.

“you’re lying to me…”

“am not. let me go… i-i-i need to bring this outside.”

“you are darling, you think i didn’t notice? you can’t even look at me without talking to me, and you’ve ignored me the whole day thinking i haven’t realized that,” jude let you go but followed behind you speaking a little louder. “lower your voice! i haven’t said anything to anyone!” you hiss, grabbing his wrist and dragging him to the pool room. “what is it you want from me?” you say pleading.

“i want you! i thought i made that clear last night. not just with sex, but with my confession? before we fell asleep? don’t tell me you forgot that,” you shook your head. “i’m just having trouble to process all this, jude… i feel like we’re making a huge mistake…”

“to whom? to our friends? or to you?” jude asked sincerely. you always seemed to put them first over yourself and jude noticed that. “why would it be a mistake? if at the end of the day what we have is real…”

“jude it’s been one night together between us! look at us now! i can’t risk our group falling if we don’t work out jude! it’s not fair to them, to me and you!” you tried to reason but jude shook his head. he stood up from where he leaned, his broad frame over towering yours again.

“why are you so adamant we won’t work? we’ve barely been given a shot here! you’re overthinking it y/n. they don’t have to know a single thing pretty girl, not unless you don’t want them too.but for once think of what you want and your heart desires. not what your friends say. forget them and for once think about yourself,” jude spoke, grabbing your hands.

“i want us to work more than anything y/n. i’m not lying to you and have never gave you the reason either. i’m a good man y/n. just let me in here,” he poked your heart, seeing a sad smile appear on your face. “we can’t be so quick to judge without even trying! why is it so hard to do that? i just want to be with you, i’ve suffered enough as it is already,” jude was pleading, wanting to do anything to keep you here with him.

“and if we do and i lose you jude? people have walked in and straight out of my life. what if we try and it’s going so well just for us to part? i can’t handle losing someone else i love,” you whimper, tears of exhaustion and pain let out. “imagine me now and then? i’ve always thought what’s best for myself and i’m just confused jude… why me?” your voice sounded strained and from another dimension.

“why not you? you’re perfect y/n. anyone who thinks other wise must have been dropped into their head. you have everything that makes me so drawn to you… your eyes… your smile… your way of being… your hair… your everything. you’re everything i want and i’m willing to prove that to you however you ask. just let me be the man you need pretty girl…” jude rested his forehead against yours, his thumb stroking your jaw as you began to fall deeper into this new wave and world with him.

“no one knows. just me and you jude,” you kissed him feverently. the aching burn in your chest as he kissed you with such devotion and power. you shivered beneath him, arms wrapping around his neck and pulled him closer. jude let out a small groan gripping your hips and pushing you to his lower body. there was no self-control here, no professionalism. he quickly became your favorite taste, and feeling. just two humans brought together in the most correct and soulmate way.

two humans who had no idea what was ahead of them.

[milla-frenchy]

Morning waves

3k7 | Joel Miller x fem reader x Frankie Morales | ao3

Summary: you meet two men who are on a road trip. You like the same things: the ocean, surfing, dancing and having fun

Warnings: 18+ mdni. threesome MFM, praise kink, fingering, public sex, oral (m/f), piv, dp, anal play, rimming, anal, spit as lube, creampies

No age specified

a/n: this is a contribution to Jamie’s ocean challenge @mermaidgirl30 thank you for this great idea 👌🙏

I've wanted to write Frankie for a while, and even more so after reading “Down the hall” @frannyzooey 😍😍 and this challenge was perfect to introduce him as my new Pedro boy. 

Dividers @saradika-graphics 🙏

@aurorawritestoescape thank you for beta-ing, for the ideas, and for holding my hand with this one, as always 💕 🫶

Masterlist

*********

The first rays of sunshine were already warming you through the windows of your car. You were driving towards the ocean, ready to enjoy its waves. Every morning, very early, you were going to your favorite surf spot. This morning like the others, a few other surfers were also present. Between each set, you were all waiting on your boards, straddling them, letting yourself be carried away by their calm movement.

“You’re impressive”, you heard behind you.

You turned around, and met the most beautiful, sweetest brown eyes you had ever seen.

“Frankie, another set is coming.” You didn't look at the man who had spoken, immediately turning your gaze towards the horizon and new waves that were forming. You surfed that set and a few more. 

When you were returning to the beach, you saw the man called Frankie taking off his wetsuit. The man next to him was doing the same. They smiled at you, when you approached them.

“Hi! I’m Joel, and this is Frankie.”

“Hi, guys!”

“Nice waves!” Frankie’s smile was really sweet. And cute.

“Yeah! Where are you from? I’ve never seen you before. And with that drawl…Texas, I guess?”

Joel laughed and replied “yeah, Austin. We’re on a road trip. Coming from northern California, heading to the south. Are you from here?”

“Yeah, I live here. I’m on holidays, enjoying the ocean.”

“That’s great! Seems like heaven here. Do you know any cool bars? We’ve just arrived, and we’re gonna stay for some time in this place,” Frankie asked. 

“Yeah, there’s ‘The lagoon’. I'm gonna be there around 6 p.m., if you wanna join me?

“Sure! We’ll see you there.”

You spent the evening with them at the bar. Frankie and Joel had been friends for a long time, they told you about their trip, their lives in Texas. Joel worked as a contractor and Frankie was an ex-military, doing jobs with Joel from time to time. They were nice, cool, and made you laugh a lot. They were not flirty nor pushy, and you felt good and safe in their company.

Joel had a certain self-confidence, and was more direct than Frankie. His brown hair was shorter. His smile was devastating. Every evening, when the three of you met again, he wore jeans and a blue or black T-shirt which accentuated his torso and biceps.

Frankie was a little shyer. His slightly longer hair called for your fingers with its brown curls. His eyes and smile were incredibly soft. He often wore lighter pants, gray or brown t-shirts. A cap that he only took off to surf. Both men were beautiful.

You spent the next evenings with them, dancing and drinking shots at The lagoon. Every day you looked forward to seeing them at the beach, then at the bar. They were doing pretty well at surfing, asking for some advice from time to time, and making great progress. 

One night, the three of you were on the beach, hoping to catch some Northern Lights. And you weren't disappointed. The sky was colored with pink, purple and blue lights, while you were lying next to each other on the sand, a little closer than usual. And when Frankie kissed your forehead and Joel your cheek as you were lying on the blanket between them, you felt heat in your core. You saw them differently for the first time.

The Lagoon was crowded. You sat on a stool at the counter, sipping your cocktail until you saw Joel enter the bar. He smiled at you and you wondered how many hearts he had broken. He was so hot. He joined you, hugged you and said “hey, sweetheart” with his Texan drawl.

“Isn’t Frankie here?” you asked him.

“He should be soon. He went to get a tattoo.”

“What, now?”

“Yeah”, he laughed.

You two danced, his hands settled on your hips. Slightly more intimate than usual. He smelled good. He smelled like the sun and the beach. He ran his hand over your back, which your summer dress barely covered. And when your eyes met, something was different.

You walked back to the counter, and he was smiling as he was drinking his beer. His eyes were fixed on you.

“What?” You asked him, smiling too.

“You’re damn pretty, sweetheart.”

Your eyes widened slightly, hearing him. It was the first time he told you something like that. So directly. Even though last night, on the beach, the atmosphere was different between the three of you. Even though two minutes ago, when you were dancing, you felt the warmth of his fingers on your skin, and your hair stood up from the desire for him.

He waited for a few seconds, checking on your reaction. Took another sip. When he saw you smile at him again, he leaned towards you, his nose brushing against your cheek, his hand resting on your waist. You felt goosebumps again. Some electricity between you. And you saw in his eyes that he was feeling the same thing.

“Wanna have some fun tonight?”

You felt heat reach your cheeks but you nodded and murmured, “yeah.”

“Yeah?”

He got up, stood between your knees while you were still sitting on the stool, and leaned forward to kiss you. You felt your heart rate speed up. He placed his hands on your bare thighs and caressed them, slightly pushing the fabric up, as you ran your fingers over his biceps. Then he slipped one hand between your legs. Slowly. Stroking your inner thigh. You whimpered when his fingers brushed against your pussy through your panties.

“You want more, darlin’?”

“Yes, Joel...”

“You gonna let me finger you in here?” he asked, his cheek against yours. His soft beard against your skin.

“Yeah…”

He slid your panties to the side, and his fingers brushed against your folds, making you moan into his neck. He looked up and said, “hey, Frankie.”

You felt shy and tightened your thighs against his legs. He kissed your cheek then said in your ear, on the side where Frankie was standing to make sure he would hear “I’m sure he’d love to touch you too,” before looking back at you. His fingers were still brushing against your delicate skin, and you really wanted to feel him more. To calm the fire, burning you from the inside.

You looked at him, then turned your head towards Frankie. His stare was still soft, but not only. You saw the desire for you in his eyes. 

“Do it Frankie”, you told him. At that moment you didn't care about anything else anymore. The crowded bar. The people who could see you, and wonder what the three of you were doing. Or knowing too well what you were doing.

“Are you wet, baby?” Frankie asked.

You nodded and whined, the second Joel pushed a finger in your core.

“She’s soaked”, Joel said, nuzzling your neck, and you bit your lip. 

“Damn, baby,” Frankie moved closer, the two men now standing in front of you. When one of Frankie's fingers joined Joel's in your pussy, your fists clenched their shirts. One of them stroked your clit with his thumb, but you didn’t know who. It turned you on even more. Their fingers slid into your wetness, pumping your pussy at the same rhythm, and you tried to hold back your moans even if it was getting more and more difficult.

“You're gonna come for us?” You shook your head “I…I can’t. Not here. Too many people.”

“Forget about them. Soak our fingers, baby. And then we’ll have some time together in our van if you want.”

“Yeah…Yes. Fuck.” You felt their eyes fixed on you. They were close to you, so close, protecting you from the eyes of others. Your pussy tightened around their fingers and you were trembling more and more. You felt another thumb near your clit that soon replaced the other one, and whimpered. Your pussy was trickling, and they could have pushed more fingers in easily.

“Come for us, sweetheart. Right here, in this bar. God, you’re fucking hot.”

You bit your lip as you came on their fingers, your pussy clenching desperately on them. They kept fingering you through it, until one of them put your panties back in place, then your dress. You watched Joel lick his finger with a look full of desire, and your arousal increased even more. 

“Take me to your van, please. I need…I need more”, you breathed.

Frankie kissed your cheek, and Joel placed his hand on the small of your back as you got off the stool. Your legs were shaky and he held your elbow until you reached the parking lot then the van. Frankie offered to come to the back with him, on the mattress that they had already set up for the night, without knowing how it would end. You both lay there as Joel started driving. You didn't know where and right now you didn't care. Frankie was already leaning towards you, kissing your cheek then your neck. Your fingers ran through his soft curls. His hand rested against your face at first, then he brought it to his mouth. Licking the finger you had come on, just as Joel had done a few minutes before.

“Damn baby, you taste so good. Can I go down on you?”

“What, now?”

“Yeah. I’ll make you feel good, I promise.”

“Fuck…Ok.”

The van was swaying on a bumpy road when Frankie knelt between your thighs, and took off your dress, then your panties. He brought them to his nose and breathed them slowly, keeping his eyes on you, and the vision was intoxicating. The way they wanted you was driving you crazy. He turned the front of his cap backwards, and lay down between your thighs. He growled as he licked a long stripe between your folds.

“Jesus Christ, Frankie…you lucky bastard”, Joel said.

Frankie was already lapping at your pussy, and he was good at it. So good that you already felt a new orgasm building, while he was drinking all your wetness, his thumb twirling on your clit.

“Frankie…oh my god”, you whimpered. 

You heard Joel unzip his jeans and pull out his cock. “You’re so hot that Joel can’t help fisting his cock while driving, baby” he said, before licking your folds again.

“Fuck, of course I do. All these moans are killing me. How does she taste? Tell me.”

“The sweetest taste, man...” He grabbed your thighs to pull you closer to him. As if he wanted more, always more, and you couldn’t stop moaning.

“Jesus...” Joel growled, as you heard the sound of his wrist fucking his cock.

Your fingers were lost in Frankie’s brown curls, while his nose rubbed perfectly against your clit and his tongue roamed your pussy.

“Frankie…”

“Yeah baby, tell me.”

“Your fingers, please, need your fingers.”

“Like this, mmm?” he asked, pushing two fingers in you.

“Yeah…your tongue too, please.”

His lips surrounded your clit, sucking gently, before giving way to his tongue. His wrist gently pumped your pussy and you felt your wetness running down your folds to the sheets.

“Fuck, baby…I can hear the pretty little noises of your pussy from here, you’re so fucking wet.”

“I know, I know, oh my god, Frankie!” You squeezed his head between your thighs when you came, letting him lick your folds until you stopped shaking. The van's engine was off, but you didn't realize you had stopped. You heard the sound of the waves as Joel opened his door to join you in the back.

“Fuck sweetheart, look at that… he ate you good, huh?”

“Yeah, yeah…fuck”, you breathed out.

Frankie shifted aside slightly and Joel lay down, his shoulders between your knees. He caressed your folded thighs, and delicately licked your wetness, being careful not to stimulate your overly sensitive clit.

“You taste so fuckin’ good, darlin’. Lemme eat ya just a little, ok? “ he said, moving his hand up your sweaty stomach, to a breast that he grabbed. Frankie kissed your thigh, while he caressed your other breast. You moaned again, your stomach rising rapidly with your heavy breathing. Joel’s beard rubbed against your inner thighs. He ran his tongue flat through your folds, sometimes down to your tight ring. Before going back up again, tirelessly. You imagined their hard cocks and you couldn’t wait to feel them in you. 

“You want us to fuck you, baby?”

You nodded, “yeah, need your cocks.”

“Damn, could do this for hours. How do you want us?”

“I huh… I don’t know, I’ve never done that…with two men.”

They looked at each other then Frankie said “we’re gonna undress and we’ll see how it goes, ok?”

“Yeah, seems good.”

“If you’re not comfortable with something, you tell us right away, ok? We’re all here to have fun. Ok, darlin’?”

You nodded and smiled. They were so considerate and careful with you. You helped Frankie unzip his pants and take them off, then his boxers, and held your breath when you saw his cock. “We’ll go slow,  baby”. “We?” You widened your eyes and turned to Joel, already in his underwear, taking off his t-shirt. “Oh fuck”, you said when you saw his bulge. You brushed his crotch and he spread his thighs wider. He was so hard, and so big too. You whispered “fuck...” again, before getting on all fours, facing him. You took his cock out of his boxers, the precum glistening on his red tip. You spread it with your thumb and jerked his cock, while Frankie was caressing the roundness of your buttocks, kneeling behind you. You licked the tip, letting Joel’s taste run down your mouth and then your throat.

“You’re ready for me, baby?”

“Yes, Frankie.”

He nestled his cock at your entrance, pushing in. You whined when he thrust deeper, gripping your hips as leverage. And for a minute you didn’t move, Joel’s cock in your hand, catching your breath. Frankie kept thrusting until he bottomed out. Pushing on your walls.  And you started to suck Joel’s cock, his hands on your head, but letting you lead the pace.

You moved your hips back and forth, fucking yourself on Frankie’s cock. He wasn’t moving, letting you lead too. Your mouth on Joel’s shaft followed the movement of your hips at the same pace as you impaled yourself on the cock, piercing you.

“Fuck, fuck. Sucking me so good.”

“Fuck, baby. You’re so tight. So good for my cock.” You loved how they were praising you. Frankie’s hands roamed your body. Your back, your waist, your hips, as your thumbs caressed Joel’s balls, your head still bobbing on his shaft, your lips gradually getting used to his size.

You pulled him out of your mouth and licked his tip, looking at him you asked, “Frankie, will you let Joel fuck me?”

“Of course, anything you want.”

You lay on your back, inviting Joel to come between your thighs. He lay there, his cock in his hand, and pushed in. Frankie lay against you, and turned your face towards him. Kissing you as Joel thrust in.

“Damn, sweetheart…Frankie was right, you’re so tight. Squeezing me so hard, fuck…”

You whined in Frankie’s mouth while Joel was kissing your neck. He thrust in slowly before pulling back. Repeating the movement endlessly, while your legs spread wide gave him full access. Frankie leaned down and took one of your breasts in his hand, sucking on the nipple, his lips wrapped around it. Joel gave you a forehead kiss, his thick cock buried in you. Sometimes Frankie would slide his hand up to your clit, rubbing it lightly, and your pussy would contract on Joel's cock, making him groan. Their mouths and hands were brushing your skin constantly. 

They took turns between your legs, drawing two new orgasms out of you. Seeing them, feeling them fucking you, one then the other, was turning you on desperately and your pussy was weeping. When one of them was kissing you, searching for your tongue with his, the other was kissing your neck, your cheek, sucking a nipple. You loved feeling their mouths on you at the same time.

They fucked you, one then the other, and they never seemed to get tired, filling your pussy perfectly each in their own way. Until you wanted more, and needed more.

“More? Tell us what you want, sweetheart.”

“I want you both…at the same time.”

“Oh, baby. You want our two cocks filling your two holes?” said Frankie, his cock buried in your cunt.

“Yeah, I’d like to try…”

“It’s ok, baby. We’ll go slow.”

“Yeah. Frankie?”

Frankie nodded, pulling out of you. 

“Get on me, sweetheart.”

Joel lay on his back and you straddled him, grabbing his cock and sinking on it. You brushed his cheek and kissed him, before pressing your chest against his, giving free access to Frankie.

He spread your buttocks, your ring was glistening by the wetness that had been flowing there continuously. He passed his thumb slowly, lingering very lightly over it, as you rolled your pelvis slowly towards Joel. Then Frankie leaned down and started to lick it, pointing his tongue against your tight muscle. His hands now gripping your ass, he softened it under the tip of his tongue. Sometimes dropping his saliva on it, and lightly pushing his thumb in. Then a little deeper. He did it patiently, taking his time to prepare you. He was feeling his cock twitching. Your head resting on Joel's shoulder, you were moaning continuously, overwhelmed by the cock in your pussy, and the tongue opening you little by little. They were so hot, they took care of you so well since the start of the evening at the Lagoon. Attentive to your desires, to your reactions. Slightly changing the pace or position depending on your respiration, the pressure of your hands.

Eventually, Frankie pulled away. “You still want it, baby?”

“Yes, yes. Just…go slow, please, Frankie.”

“Of course. Lemme wet my cock in her pussy a little, Joel”, he asked. You pulled away from Joel slightly and he pulled out, his cock rubbing against your clit. Frankie pushed his cock easily in your dripping pussy, fucking it with one hand on your hip, and his thumb on your ass. Joel placed his hand on your neck, his forehead against yours, and murmured “you gonna take us both, sweetheart?”

“Fuck, yeah…Yeah, I’m gonna take you both, oh my god I can’t believe it’s happening…”

Franck grabbed his cock in his hand, and positioned it against your ring.

“Kiss me, sweetheart”, Joel muttured, stroking your hair. You looked up at him, his hands cupping your cheeks before coming to press his lips to yours. Quickly, his tongue sought yours, just as Frankie pushed in. You felt the muscle resisting at first, then gradually giving up. You whined in Joel’s mouth, his tongue never stopping brushing yours. You knew he wanted to make you forget the pain. Then he nibbled one of your lips, before licking it. Kissing you again. Until Frankie bottomed out, his balls against Joel's cock. He didn't stay buried and pulled back as slowly, before thrusting in again.

“Oh, fuck. Baby…it’s so good, fuck…”

“I can feel your cock Frankie, damn…are you ok, sweetheart?”

You nodded, unable to speak. Overwhelmed by all these emotions you were feeling. Your body was in the middle of theirs, and you felt fulfilled. Their hands were all over your upper body. Frankie’s mouth placed a thousand kisses on your shoulder blades and the back of your neck. Joel's hands caressed your breasts, your ass, your thighs. You heard them grunt and moan, in turn or together. You felt a new orgasm building, from rubbing your clit against Joel's lower abdomen.

“I’m gonna come, I’m gonna come”, you whined.

“Come on baby, come again. Fuck, your ass is so good, baby.”

“Come on our cocks, sweetheart. Then we’ll fill you up. We’ll fill that pussy and that ass.”

“Oh fuck”, you whimpered, coming on their cocks, clenching them. You wondered if you hadn’t fainted, for a moment. 

You heard Frankie growling, and Joel calling you a “good girl”, just before he pulsed as deep as possible in you, followed by Frankie. 

You all froze, panting. Catching your breath. Then Frankie pulled back, placing one last kiss on your back. You pulled away from Joel after kissing him, and you lay against him. Frankie lay against you on the other side, spooning you, his hand on your hip. Their cum flowing from both of your sore holes.

You slept there, sometimes waking up during the night, feeling their bodies against yours or their arms around you. Snuggling against one of them then the other. 

When the rays of the sun woke the three of you and Frankie opened the van door, you had a direct view of the ocean. Its color was perfect. The most beautiful blue. And also these pastel, pink colors of the sky, at dawn. 

You spent the day with them. You surfed, took photos. Frankie’s freshly tattooed forearm with the word “adventure.” You looked at them so many times during that day. And every time your eyes met, you all blushed and giggled, thinking about the night you had spent.

You returned to the Lagoon, and didn't leave them until they finally gave up on the idea of going all the way to Southern California. They called you “our girl”. Their hands, tongues and cocks roaming every inch of your body, just as yours on theirs. They stayed with you until they had to return to Texas.

The day before, Frankie went to get another tattoo. Joel told you Frankie always got one at every place they visit, a tattoo of the best thing there. He showed it to you when he came back: a surfboard with your name on it. You hugged him so tight that he could barely breathe and couldn’t stop laughing, squeezed by your arms.

At the airport, they held you until the last minute. And your heart sank when they left.

A few months later, you were sitting at the same airport. Ready to board for Austin. So that they, in turn, could introduce you to their lives.

You looked at the sun through the large windows of the airport, and smiled. Life offers good surprises sometimes. Yours was Joel and Frankie.

***************

Thank you for reading 🙏

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[babygorewhore]

Prey

Rafe Cameron x Fem reader

Part one

Part two

After moving to the Outer banks to stay with your cousin, John B after your parents death, you catch the eye of Kooks. After being invited to one of his parties as part of a bet, you realize that Rafe Cameron has decided to make you his. Even if that means he’s going to stalk you.

W.C over 3k

Thank you so much to @take-everything-you-can and @reidsbtch for beta reading!!

Warnings! FemReader is alternative and introverted! Parental death! Bullying! Implications of stalking and flashing! Reader is slightly naive and easily manipulated at first. No use of y/n. No smut in this part but it’s definitely going to be in part two and I’m crazy. Concept inspired by @sadfury and Haunting Adeline by H.D Carlton. Events after season two but altered because I said so.

John B let you settle into your new room as you slightly grimaced. This was the last thing you ever expected, moving here away from home. But after the death of your parents, you weren’t able to live alone, you didn’t have a choice. He was the only family you had left.

You couldn’t be more different. He was used to the beach life, a Pouge as he educated you on the drive here after you arrived. He was sunshine, tan and light colored clothes. Sandals and shorts.

You on the other hand were an all black wearing, band shirts, dark makeup and tall boots that gave you at least four inches. You stood out like a sore thumb.

It was hard to adjust to the passing of your parents after the sudden car accident. It couldn’t be more cliche.

If you weren’t in your room crying, you were usually scrolling aimlessly on social media looking at your photos of them.

Shy wasn’t the exact word to describe you, introverted was a better description and you completely dreaded the next day because John B was determined to show you around and introduce you to his girlfriend and friends. You tried to smile, practicing in the mirror but it looked painfully fake.

The weather was just as hot as John B mentioned. You were wearing a band t shirt, black shorts and he tried to convince you to wear flip flops but you kept on your converse shoes. The beach was crowded much to your distain and you desperately wished you brought an umbrella.

This part of the beach had a golf course not far away and you had never played golf a day in your life. You stuck to solitary hobbies.

“You sure you’re not gonna get too hot in that? I can buy you a swimsuit.” John B nudged you with his elbow and you shook your head.

“No, thanks. I’d rather wear something I’m comfortable in.” You forcefully smiled as you shield your eyes from the sun rays.

“So, uh. We have a library in town, a few shops nearby. We have a pretty good restaurant Kie’s parent’s own. I know you remember some-unless you want to be alone.”

“I think that’s good right now.” You confessed as you both settled your towels on a spot on the beach. The waves crashed and it was a soothing sound you didn’t expect.

“Wow, it’s so beautiful.” You nodded.

John B smiled. “I’ll take it.”

You laid down on the towel, gingerly moving off any sand that flicked onto your calves. You did bring a book you were determined to finish when John B growled. “Fucking prick.”

“Why so hostile?” You questioned, you never saw him angry. John b crossed his arms and pointed behind you.

You turned, twisting your back to see two men at the golf course. You squinted but you could tell one of them was pointing in your direction. They were both blonde, dressed in preppy light clothing while holding golf clubs. They looked rich.

“Who are they?”

“Kooks. The worst of them. That one is Topper, he’s Sarah’s ex boyfriend and the taller one is Rafe. Her insane brother who beat the shit out of me, Pope and JJ.” You scowled and turned around.

“Kooks are the…?”

“Slang for the rich people. You and I are the Pouges.”

A few minutes later, his friends joined you. They were nice, really nice and outgoing. You stayed mostly quiet, watching the interactions and the way they swam in the water. Kie stayed with you the longest, consistent in her question if you needed anything or wanted to join them. You declined each time. Needing alone time after the long trip and new environment.

You sighed, having enough of uncomfortable sun bathing and decided to get a drink. You still had some cash and it wouldn’t kill it to just buy a soda. You walked to a shack, quickly wiping off your shoes of all sand.

You started towards the counter, grateful there wasn’t a line when a a blonde male moved around and stepped in front of you. He was the same man who was pointing at you and John B. The friend of this infamous Rafe.

“Hi, you must be John B’s cousin.” You remembered his name. Topper. He stuck out his hand and you folded your arms.

“Uh, yeah. That’s me.”

“Everyone’s heard about you, John B wanted to brag and Sarah couldn’t wait to meet you.” You internally winced at the not so subtle anger in his voice.

“Right, yeah.” You told him your name and started to step around him. “I’m just here to buy a drink.”

“Oh, let me,”

“No, really I’m fine-“ You both stood at the counter.

“I insist.” Topper paid for your soda and you wanted this interaction to be over.

“I’m not trying to be rude, but is there something you wanted?” You held the bottle protectively as he smirked.

“Sorry, I’ll get to the point. But I noticed how you were talking to the gang John b is friends with. And I wanted to see if you’d let a couple of Kooks let you show you around. You’ll actually get to see the island.”

Your hackles raised immediately and he sensed it.

“Don’t worry, we’re not gonna do anything. I just wanted to be nice. If you don’t want a tour, Rafe is throwing a party tonight. I wanted to invite you.” You raised an eyebrow and scoffed.

“No offense Topper but John B told me that Kooks wanted nothing to do with Pouges and how much you both hated him. Why would you be nice to me?”

To your dismay, he stepped closer. “Just because you’re John B’s cousin doesn’t mean we can’t be friends. And you don’t seem like you want to stay on the beach all day. Come on, maybe you’ll have a good time?”

You wanted to scream hell no, but something in your chest secretly wanted to get away, get a distraction for why you left home and John B unintentionally reminded you of your loss.

“I’ll-I’ll think about it.” Tooper smiled triumphantly and quickly wrote down on a napkin his number.

“Here. I really hope you come. And I can pick you up if you want.”

You gulped the bottle of coke and made your way back to the beach. After a few more hours of roasting underneath the sun, the invitation felt more and more appealing. The air conditioning didn’t work at John B’s house even though he was trying to fix it. And would one night really be so bad to let loose with a bunch of rich kids?

When you asked John b to drive you home, he kept asking you if you’d be okay alone and you firmly said yes. You left out the information of a party and Topper as you scrambled to find something to wear. Everything you had was black. Well. At least mostly everything.

You owned a pair of sparkly, silver high heels that you got as a birthday present two years ago for your twenty first and you hadn’t gotten a chance to wear them. Biting your lip, you slipped on a black dress that was mid thigh height, ruffles at the bottom of the skirt and it was a v neck exposing your bust.

Your hair was messy from the bun it was in all day so you braided it in two. Quickly slapping on makeup, you pulled out your phone and texted Toppers number.

“Is the offer still on the table?”

He responded almost immediately. “Of course! I’ll be there in twenty”

True to his word, he was there in twenty and you inhaled. You could do this. You could go to one party.

The ride was…okay. He talked to you about the landmarks and talked about who would be there. His friends since childhood and of course…he talked about Rafe. How great he was. How rich he was. How he took over his parents empire after his father’s death and he ran it alone. You withheld comments about being handed down rich lively hood as you kept quiet.

You dreaded if he made any advances towards you but he never did. He was ever the gentlemen when he parked in the driveway of the massive penthouse. Booming with music, you saw people dancing through the bare windows and the balcony.

You couldn’t believe you were here. John B probably wouldn’t assume you were out of your room and besides. You were a grown woman capable of your own decisions.

“Let’s go,” Topper opened the door for you and you followed him inside. It was crowded. More than any party you’d been too.

Several people turned and stared at you, you couldn’t tell if it was judgement or curiosity. You clutched your small bag where your phone was closer. You could call John B anytime, despite his probable anger.

“Can I get you a drink? I can introduce you to some people.”

“Sure, thanks.” You wanted to scream for him not to leave you alone but you stayed strong and drifted to a corner.

God, now you were having regrets as the music turned up and people started cheering. Topper was taking longer than expected and you decided to be brave. Fuck it. You moved from your place and wandered around. Your heels clicking over the wooden floors.

The kitchen was almost filled to the brim with people, several sitting on the island and girls immediately turned towards you and paused mid conversation. Topper held two cups as he talked to Kelce.

“Oh, hey! I was just about to find you.” Uneasiness settled in your chest as you took the red cup. “It’s okay. I just-.i feel a little awkward.” You whispered.

“Come on, I wanna introduce you to the man of the hour.”

You started gulping the alcohol to try and suppress your nerves as you both climbed the stairs to another lounge area with dark lights. People were doing lines, slurring from drunkenness and making out. Basically fucking as your eyes narrowed on Rafe.

Up close, he was fucking hot. Sharp jawline, blonde hair that was separated with bangs and crystal clear blue eyes that were currently focused on a girl straddling his lap.

They were tongues and teeth making you feel even more uncomfortable and another emotion hit you. You tried to shove it away, but his fitted light pants around his muscular thighs, t shirt that exposed his defined arms and large hands…thick fingers gripped her ass.

Oh god, you were fucking jealous over a man you hadn’t even talked too.

“Hey, man. Hate to interrupt, but this is the new girl.” You tried not to bite your lip and smear your lipstick as he pulled away from her.

His light eyes swept over you, pausing longer on your tits, hips and exposed legs. He gave you a nod before a small smirk slid towards Topper. “Get off,” he lifted the poor girl off and plopped her on the couch to her distain.

Your core tightened in anticipation as he drew closer. He couldn’t be more opposite. In clothes. In height. In status. He oozed power, money and sex. With a little danger.

“Mmm. Yeah. I saw you today with John B. Didn’t expect him with Tim Burton.”

You cleared your throat, offense rising but you tried to remember you were in his house and yelling at him probably wasn’t the best idea given he could crush you. You started to extend your hand but he turned.

“Hey, get your asses to the pool! Im tired of being up here!” He called out and everyone started moving quickly. His commands obeyed without question as he jerked his hand to point them downstairs.

“Oh, I don’t have a swimsuit with me-“

“You live on the beach. But you didn’t bring one, Tim Burton?” Rafe challenged, looking down at you with a hazed look. You couldn’t tell if it was dislike or anger.

Why would he invite you if he didn’t like you?

“Come on,” Topper gestured with his head for you to follow him.

The pool was lit from under the water where several half naked people were playing chicken, kissing and smoking. You didn’t exactly mind the scene but it was entirely out of your comfort zone. Your heels caught a puddle on the concrete and arms caught you.

You inhaled sharply, thinking for a second it was Rafe but you saw him sitting on a lounge chair with the same girl perched on his thigh. She was beautiful except for the death glare she was giving you. You turned around to see your savior. It was Kelce who gave you a smirk before you were launched over his shoulder.

You screamed, “What the FUCK?!” And then you saw Topper briefly before you sailed into the cold pool. The water stung your eyes as you flailed from the weight of your shoes and panic. You clasped onto the side and pulled yourself up.

Everyone was laughing. Even recording you.

Your chest burst with embarrassment, anger and utter heartbreak as you knew how stupid you were for believing this was a kind invitation.

You wiped your face as you got your bearings and black liner, lipstick and foundation smeared all over your hand. “Fucking shit.”

You went to climb up but you slipped again, causing more laughter.

You remembered your phone, oh god your phone. No, your purse was still held by Kelce. You let your anger heave you over and you crawled up, shakily standing before you yanked your heels off. Everyone was still laughing and recording but you locked eyes on Rafe himself.

He wasn’t laughing. But his eyes held a hint of amusement and the corner of his mouth was tilted up.

You wanted to run. Cry and scream. That’s exactly what they expected. Instead, you marched towards him, shoving people out of your way as you stepped in front of him and the girl.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” You growled, pointing a dripping finger. “Is this your idea of some kind of joke?”

He shrugged. “It looks like I won five thousand dollars. Top didn’t think you’d actually come. I said you couldn’t resist some attention, Tim Burton.” He parted his legs further as he got comfortable.

You were seething but you were also petty. So you took the bottom of your dress, not caring if it exposed your black panties underneath around the crotch as his blue eyes immediately dipped down to the area. You flapped the skirt. Splashing water right in their faces. And when he stood up, the girl followed suit, you slapped him.

Hard but he hardly moved an inch as he chuckled darkly and took a small step forward. The water dripped from his brow and landed on the ground.

“Fuck. You.” You hissed. You turned around and flipped everyone off before he could get a chance to tell you off.

You stormed away, bursting through the house, ignoring the cat calls as you shoved open the front door. You didn’t have a car and it was late. You had ripped your purse away from Kelce and checked your phone. John B was calling you.

You answered. “Hello?”

“Oh my god, are you okay? I’ve been calling for an hour, where did you go?” He sounded worried and you winced.

“Um. Can you pick me up?”

“Yeah, of course. Where are you?” You cringed at his question but you had no choice.

“I’m at Rafe Cameron’s house.”

To say John B was angry was an understatement as you were sitting like a scolded child in his living room. You were still soaked like a wet cat as he rummaged to find a towel.

“I can’t believe you fell for it! I told you about those assholes. You can never trust them. Why did you even go?”

“Stop talking to me like I’m a child!” You finally snapped, standing. “I made a mistake. Can we just let it go?”

“Let it go? Rafe Cameron is a monster and you were made as an example for Pouges and now he has more ammo. He’s never going to leave it alone. And you may never-“

“What? Show my face? Be accepted? Guess what, John B, I’m already fucking USED to it. And maybe I just wanted a distraction from what happened. For once, I just wanted to let loose. Obviously, I fucked up. I’m going to bed.” You ground out and moved toward your bedroom.

“Wait, I’m sorry-“ But you slammed the door and locked it.

You were too upset to even shower as you yanked off your dress, underwear and shoved on an oversized t shirt, put your hair up and flopped onto the mattress.

Now, the tears started as you looked on social media.

Somehow they found your account and tagged you in dozens of videos of the incident. Horribly mean comments underneath caused you to cry harder. You never should have gone.

You hugged your pillow, about to close your phone and throw it, when a text came through. You didn’t recognize the number but hair raised on your arm as you read the words.

“Maybe if you did more than flash your panties, I would make them take them down.”

You sat up immediately. Now this, this had to be a joke. Rafe Cameron was texting you.

“Go. Fuck yourself. And don’t text me. I’m blocking you.”

“Do you really think this is my only phone number, Tim Burton?”

Your mouth parted. He was right but you thought of another tactic.

“Fine. I’ll change mine tomorrow.”

“Good luck. I’ll find out what it is.“ You clenched your jaw. Half a mind to call and scream at him.

“Leave me alone.”

The reply came almost immediately.

“I make the rules here, princess. Not you.”

You then pressed the call button. It rang once, twice, three times. “Pick up, asshole.” You grunted.

Finally, it stopped ringing and you heard silence. “I know you’re there, douchebag. Don’t text me anymore and don’t fucking call me princess.”

“Are you still trying to have control, princess?” You had to breathe deeply so you wouldn’t wake the neighbors with your yelling.

“What are you doing, Cameron? Why are you talking to me? After what you did? After hurting me like that? Is this some sort of sick game? Well, I’m not playing it. Stay the fuck away from me, you son. Of. A. Bitch.”

“I would be very careful how you talk to me, little girl. What makes you think this wasn’t what I wanted? You. All to myself.”

Fear stilled you as you whispered, “You-you leave me alone. I don’t like you. In fact, I hate you and I hate what you did! Fuck off.” You then hung up.

You shut off the light and crawled back into bed. Your body went from boiling hot to now ice cold. You blocked his number. Quickly and you shut your eyes. Drifting into a nightmare filled sleep being tormented by Kooks. Rafe Cameron’s voice and then…you dreamed of his dark eyes trailing the outline of your pussy through your black panties.

You snapped awake at the knock of your door.

“Hey, uh…do you want to go to breakfast? If not, that’s okay. I just want to make up for what happened. I feel awful for yelling at you and this shouldn’t be your first impression.”

You were tempted to say no. Let him go alone but you were hungry. And you wanted a distraction from the event last night. Sighing, you got out of bed. “Yeah, I’ll be right out.”

You throw on a pair of black shorts and your converse. Still wearing your big shirt and ponytail. You were weary of your phone, but you forced yourself to move past your fear and you snatched it from the pillow.

Another number was on your screen but you could see part of the message. You could only squeak when you opened it.

“I hope you enjoy breakfast, baby doll. I’d hate for you to starve that pretty little body. But I want you to behave. Like a good girl. Or this will be harder for you.”

Your mouth was completely dry when you stared at the screen. Oh fuck. He was true to his word. This was another number. But how the hell would he know about this morning? You realized the reality of this situation. He had eyes and ears everywhere.

You were certainly fucked.

And not in a good way.

Tagging

@scene-and-dandylover @xxhellfirebunnyxx @slvt4jamesmarch @take-everything-you-can @drewstarkeyslut @ifeeltoofuckingmuch @emsgoodthinkin @imyourdaninow @reidsbtch

[fairlyang]

Summer Lovin’ 🕷️

in which you have a little summer romance fling

w/c: 3.9K

pairing: greaser!miguel x f!reader

tags: 18+ smut. exhibitionism, making out, sucking on tits, eating out, fingering, praise kink, blowjob. mention of face sitting, overstimulation, 69, eating pussy underwater (LMAO), spilling the tea x2

notes: reposting my precious baby, my fav, my grease au series!! might post part two after this idk but I’m writing part 3 and I’m excited :D 🤝🏼

part two — part three

You had spent almost your entire summer in California, and being from the Midwest you took advantage of the hot weather and beaches.

You had stayed at your aunt's house along with your parents but not your older sister who apparently didn't wanna "burn to a crisp" but you didn't mind. In fact you loved feeling the sun on your skin and spent most of your days on the beach.

Your sister had teased you about a summer fling and maybe you'd meet someone but won't be able to bring them back. You called bullshit and said you weren't out searching for that kinda thing.

That was until you met him.

Miguel O'Hara.

One day you were reading a book on the beach under an umbrella when a guy came up to you and you were a little shell shocked looking at him. He was gorgeous. So handsome.

He asked what you were reading which made you laugh because he did not look like the reading type. He wore a black leather jacket and his hair slicked back, you can imagine reading is not one of his things.

And who the hell wears a leather jacket in the hot weather?

But nonetheless you still answered and he just nodded along probably pretending he knew what you were talking about.

"Well I came over because I thought you were gorgeous." He says giving you a wide smile, showing off his crooked pearly whites.

You chuckle and close your book, leaving it on your lap, "oh I bet a guy like you says that to all the girls." You say playfully rolling your eyes and he shakes his head.

"Only to the really special ones." He responds sweetly and you felt a shiver run down your spine.

And with that you were sold.

Almost too easy.

But it felt real.

Genuine.

You had spent the first three weeks of August with Miguel. Splashing around, building many sand castles, playing volleyball. Tanned while getting to know each other, had little picnic dates on the beach.

It was so surreal to you and he was such a gentleman.

But on the third week was when he was more flirty than usual, always touching you subtly like grabbing your hand or having his arm around your waist.

He would even twirl you around as you walked along the sand which just had you laughing as you tried not to fall.

One specific time he wrapped his arms around you as you watched the sun set, the waves lightly hitting your feet. He gently trailed his fingers along your waist making you turn to look at him, he was already looking at you, with a mischievous look on his face if anything.

He then leaned down, letting his forehead lean against yours, "you're so beautiful."

You smile and feel your body grow warm, "you're not too bad yourself Miggy."

He then let go of you and stood in front of you, bringing a hand up to gently cup your cheek. His eyes were sparkling and he just looked so handsome up close.

The pink, orange, and yellow rays of the sun hitting the sides of your faces as he looked down at your lips. He couldn't help himself.

And he knew he'd never see you again after this considering you'd have to fly back home so what's a little fun on your last week here?

You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer which only makes him chuckle, "no patience huh?" He teased and you shrugged.

"We only live once... and we might as well while we're young.." you say and lean up, pretty eyes boring into his.

He was quite shocked that you were the one making the moves but he wanted to be the one to actually do it.

So he did.

He leaned in and kissed you gently, you instantly kissed back and you swore you could feel fireworks erupting in your stomach. It felt so right. So nice.

He nipped on your bottom lip to which you then return as you feel his hands exploring your body. You felt them snake their way down your back then staying by your lower back.

Then you felt them slowly trickling lower to which you had to pull away and shake your head, "eager hm? No patience huh?" You mock and he snickers.

"Couldn't help myself doll." He murmurs and pecks your lips softly.

You melted back into his arms and kissed back before he pulled away and then leaned in to peck your lips again. He repeated this until you burst into fits of giggles which had Miguel ignoring the effect it made on him and pulled away, grabbing you by the hand as you went back to walking on the sand.

Things only progressed throughout your last week.

He snatched more kisses from you until the sun was gone and you had to go home.

The next day he had you on his lap and making out with you while his hand was trailing around your thigh. Only testing the waters.

But also playing around with you.

You were a good girl, not ever looking for trouble like this. But it seemed to have found its way to you.

And you couldn't help but want to open yourself up more to him, maybe not just kisses.

At least those were your thoughts when you were in bed, daydreaming about him.

You met up again on the third day and decided to maybe go a little further. Just a tiny bit.

So you were on his lap again, making out when you start to slowly grind yourself on him. He moaned into your mouth and it only made you grow more excited but you didn't want to push yourself too much.

And he was okay with that.

His hands were on your waist helping you move as his tongue explored your mouth. Gotta love a man that can multitask.

You moved faster and could feel his bulge grow hard beneath you. It made your skin feel hot and deep down you wanted to take it forward but also knew you probably shouldn't.

"Miguel-" you breathed out and pulled away but he latched his lips on your neck, kissing harshly against your skin.

You bite your lip and he made you continue your movements as he hummer onto your skin. "I- I-I think- maybe we s-should st- fuck-" you stutter and moan as he sucks on your neck then pulls away peppering the hickey in kisses.

"What were you saying doll?" He asks and kisses down your chest.

That day you decided to wear a bikini top with some shorts, clearly he appreciated that right now as he kissed your cleavage, bringing a hand up to squeeze your left breast. You moan and feel your eyes flutter, already losing your train of thought.

"W-We shouldn't do this here-" you breathe out but it didn't matter, he was already pulling your bikini top up.

"Miguel!" You squealed trying to cover yourself and looking around but it was vacant.

"There's nobody out here, you know we've been having this side of the beach all to ourselves for weeks." He murmurs and gently moves your hands away.

"So beautiful." He murmurs before squeezing both tits and latching on to your left nipple.

You bit your lip and held onto his head, you couldn't even blame yourself. You knew you wanted this. And that heat going straight to your core was the proof.

He pulled away and immediately sucked on your right breast, pinching your left nipple making you shift on his lap. He moaned against you and you almost forgot he was already hard. Almost.

It was kind of hard to forget since you were directly on him.

So you began to slowly grind on him again making him groan as you moved your hips back and forth. He pulled away and breathed out, "Just like that angel."

Your face flushed and you put your hands on his shoulders to steady yourself as you continued your pace. "Good, good girl." He murmurs before sucking on your left breast, leaving yet another mark.

A moaned escaped your lips and you can see a smirk on his when he pulled away. He looked up at you and pecks your lips before pulling away and taking you off his lap and setting you to his right side on the shared blanket.

He then moved down your body, hands already undoing the button and zipper of your shorts. You lift your ass up and he slides your shorts off setting them to the side.

He then gets between your legs, kissing and squeezing your thighs and he neared where you so desperately needed him. He kissed your left inner thigh then moved to the right side to do the same.

He then went down and looked at the soaked spot on your panties, nearly drooling. "Look at you doll, already so wet." He murmurs looking up at you before leaning in and leaving the softest kiss on your clit.

You moaned and bucked your hips forward but his strong arms kept you in place which only made you whine. But he didn't care.

He was going to go at his own pace. Just like you did when you were on his lap.

Even if he technically was making you a move a bit.

But still.

He gently moved your panties to his right side as you squirmed, whining above him but he ignored you to pay all his undivided attention to your gorgeous sopping cunt. "Oh baby this all for me?" He murmurs and you feverishly nod.

He tuts and smirks looking up at you, "such a dirty girl. Thought you were a sweet innocent good girl?" He teases only making you grow more wet by the second.

"God you're so perfect." He coos before diving full on in to your cunt, immediately getting a taste of how sweet you are.

You moan and bring a hand down to pull his closer already. You needed him so badly and didn't want to waste more time.

And he could tell.

He didn't mind, given how he started lapping at your folds and his nose practically buried in your clit. "Miguel-“ You moan out and he hums sending a vibration of pleasure curse through your body.

You look down at him and buck your hips forward, this time he doesn't stop you, letting you grind your perfect cunt against his mouth. His mouth went up and down your slit, slurping up your juices as you continued your melody of pretty moans for him.

He looked into your ears as he came up and flicked his tongue on your clit earning himself more moans. He brought his hands up and intertwined them with yours as you bucked your hips against his face, grinding yourself against his tongue. "Shit- feels so good Miggy." You moan and he hums against your cunt.

He moans and lets go of your left hand, bringing his right hand to start teasing your hole with the tip of his finger. He pulls away, lips glistening from your slick making you smile as he licks your arousal off. "Need more doll?" He coos and you nod.

"Yes- yes please Miguel." You whimper and he nods, shoving his middle finger inside you.

You groan and your walls clench against his digits as he starts fucking you hard. "Oh fuck!" You moan and grip your right hand against his.

"Feel good angel?" He asks softly and you nod with an almost drunken smile.

"So pretty baby." He mutters and then slides in his second finger immediately pounding his digits into you.

You let out a loud moan and try to close your legs but he quickly let go of your hand and spread them open. "Too much already doll?" He mocks making you whimper.

His fingers were much thicker than yours and you haven't had any other fingers inside you besides your own. At least in a long time.

"Look at you taking them so well." He says and looking at your cunt just sucking his fingers in.

He then shuts up and brings his mouth back to your clit, tongue flicking on your nub while his mouth sucks harshly. Your body was getting hotter and your legs were shaking as you kept them wide open for him. "Fuck!"

His praises only continued and drove your mind wild, and just like that you found out you had a praise kink. And he used that to his advantage.

Mumbling as many praises to you seeing just how much more wet you'd get for him as well seeing how long it'd take for you to just cum off his praise.

And it didn't take long for you to feel your orgasm approach before quickly taking over and your climax hit as he was calling you his good girl.

You let out cries as you came and clenched on his fingers, entire body shaking as he fucked you slowly letting you ride your high.

As soon as your breathing calmed down and he slipped his fingers out of you, you sat up and got him to sit in your position. "C'mon your turn pretty boy." You coo and he chuckles but moves so anyway.

And without another word you laid down between his knees and undid his shorts as fast as you could. You slid them off his legs and left them on top of yours before slipping his cock out of his boxers. You left those on and just started stroking him.

You lean in and lick his tip, tasting his precum and swallowing every drip then spit on the tip and letting it drip down before stroking him again. He let out a shaky breath and you looked up at him with innocent eyes that drove hims absolutely insane. "You look so pretty." He murmurs making you squeeze your thighs together.   

You then took him in your mouth, slowly bringing your head down at first not thinking you'd be able to take all of him considering how thick he was but you were slowly getting there. Only took a few minutes to take half of him before he put his hands on your head and made you take him deeper.

You were gagging against him which only made him thrust his hips into your mouth making you take all of him. You closed your eyes already feeling them fill with tears but you fought through it and took him all the way feeling his happy trail hit your nose.

You pulled away and gasped, panting but then slipped him back into your mouth and letting him do it again but for a longer period of time.

Soon enough you felt him twitch in your mouth as he was deep in your throat. You closed your eyes, breathed through your nose and prayed for the best.

He groaned and his legs shook beneath you as he shoots his load down your throat. You swallowed as much as you could but it was too much so you pulled away and let it fall in his thighs. You start stroking him slowly which makes him whine as his cock twitched at the sudden contact but yet more cum continued shooting out.

"Oh fuck!" He moans as you stroke him and go down to clean it up with your tongue.

You made sure to lick off every drop before finally taking your hand off him and taking notice he was breathing heavily. "Holy shit-" he mutters and grabs your face, bringing you in for a kiss.

You kiss back and he slides his tongue into your mouth, getting a taste of himself which only made you weak in the knees.

He then pulled away and gave you a sheepish grin, "that was- do you really have to leave?" He says and you laugh.

"Sadly. But I still have a few days left!" You say and he chuckles before bringing you into his chest as you both looked up and see a few twinkling stars above you.

And you used those days up to the best of your ability.

Now you told him the one exception was you didn't want to fuck, not there at least.

So the following day he had you wear a dress and made you sit on his face. And he made sure to emphasize "sitting down" because he wanted to feel all your weight on him.

You were scared you'd crush him but he said that'd just be the most badass way to die which only made you slap his arm. But you ended up sitting on his face and it was the best thing you'd ever tried.

You ended up like that for a good few hours before your poor pussy grew tired and you were just so overstimulated.

So you ended up making out until the sun set and you gave him a handjob as well.

The next day was your second to last day before you'd leave and he wanted to try out 69-ing to which you didn't complain about. He had already grown so use to eating you out and did not grow tired of it at all. And he loved hearing your moans, feeling your body shaking.

So he couldn't complain either.

That same day he had the brilliant idea of trying to eat you out underwater, you told him he'd actually die if he did that but he claimed he could hold his breath for a while.

Well it felt weird for both parties and he nearly drowned so that wasn't worth it. But you then stroked him while hiding behind a big rock then you got down to your knees so he could cum on your face.

And finally on your last day you sat next to each other and touched each other until you both came at the same time.

Prior to that you were just spending time together for the final time. He wanted you both to cum as the sun set. How romantic.

As you both got up and got dressed you sighed, sad that your little summer fling would come to an end.

And unfortunately never getting the chance to actually have him fuck you. But nothing lasted forever.

So after the final make out session you both pulled away breathless and you felt sad. But also happy it happened at all. And that you got to meet him.

"If it's meant to be I'm sure you'll get to go all the way in the future." You joked making him laugh and smile.

"Hopefully doll, I'm sure you feel absolutely amazing." He murmurs and you slap his arm before shrugging and giving him a sly wink finally walking away to never see him again.

Or so you think.

Your parents ended up giving you the grand surprise that you weren't actually leaving. You were moving to California.

And the reason your sister didn't come was because they actually gave her the house and her boyfriend was going to move in.

Why they didn't think of telling you before? Who knows but now you were gonna be leaving here and they made you enroll in the nearest university.

Somehow you got in just in time for classes to start to. You didn't have high hopes in seeing Miguel considering he'd told you a couple times he didn't really like university and wasn't really thinking about going back.

And you weren't sure in telling him you weren't going back after all. Especially considering you just had a couple good summer nights together.

So you didn't give it a second thought and just decided that's all it would be. A summer fling.

Not like you had much choice considering you didn't have any way of contacting him anyway.

You ended up going to your first day of uni and met two lovely girls outside who immediately helped you out. Frenchie and Sandy.

They were so sweet and led you to your classes, even having a few with both of them surprisingly.

You ended up having the same schedule layout and you all ended up going to the large dining hall to get something to eat.

You were then introduced to their other three girl friends, Rizzo, Marty, and Jan. Frenchie explained their little group were called the pink ladies which you thought was cute. They all had matching jackets as well.

Suddenly a girl named Patty comes along and the trio roll their eyes and groan. You pretend you don't notice and just take a bite out of the macaroni you got before she sat down next to you and started blabbing about who knows what.

Then Frenchie, a godsend angel, turned to you and asked you how your summer was.

"It was good! Spend most of my time at the beach. Might've met someone there..." you say and Patty beside you giggles but Rizzo just scoffs.

"Laying all your eggs in one basket? For some guy?" She asks and you shrug.

"He was... special." You say and she gives you a fake smile.

"There is no such thing hun." She says and you sigh looking at Patty. "It was so romantic."

On the other end of campus, on some bleachers, the self proclaimed 'T-Birds' were also asking Miguel how his summer went. But he had already told them that he met a girl.

But unlike your reminiscing of the romantic portion of your days together, his friends' immediate thoughts went to the more explicit portion...

"You don't wanna hear all the horny details." Miguel teases and all the guys gather around him yelling at him that they absolutely do.

So you both ended up spilling what you wanted to reveal except you kept your mouth shut on your exhibitions, not wanting to say too much about that.

On the other hand Miguel gave them every dirty detail possible. But for him he couldn't bring himself to tell his friends about the romantic side of how things went.

No way in hell was he going to admit those kinds of feelings in front of the guys. And mostly because they all just fucked around. Even though he knew he felt something besides just when things switched to the dirty side.

And thus you both reminisced on your favorite parts of your time together not knowing you were both on the same campus. Soon enough you'd both run into each other shocked but for now you stayed in your respective friend group.

As you walked out of the dining hall and to your last class Jan asked, "so what was his name?"

"Miguel O'Hara." You replied and her eyes widened as her and Marty burst into giggles but Rizzo smacks them to shut up.

"If you believe in miracles I'm sure Prince Charming will show up again some day. Somewhere unexpected." She says and gives you a smile.

"Think so?" You ask and she nods, grinning ear to ear as the other two girls follow her giggling their heads off.

"Oh you think so Frenchie?" You ask turning to the redhead and she avoids your gaze, awkwardly laughing and grabbing your arm.

She gives Sandy a look before Sandy links with your other arm, "how about we get to class yeah?" She says to you and you nod, questioning what the hell was going on.

[heretherebedork]

Sand is the most empathetic character on the entire show and he has the best perspective on the entire show and he loves Ray wholeheartedly but also sees and understands exactly how toxic and painful that love is because Ray doesn't know how to move past the only other person he's ever loved.

And in this moment, Ray was lying. On just... every level possible. Love him to death but babygirl, darling babygirl, sometimes you just gotta face a truth about yourself.

And the biggest difference here is between Sand and Mew. When Ray tries to get answers out of Mew, Mew shuts down and stop talking. He never explains anything or tries to communicate with Ray. He just either shames him, rejects him, or demands he stop talking. But Sand will never do that. Because Sand sees Ray as a whole person and a person who can be better and so he treats him like a person who is being shitty but can be better.

Mew doesn't see that in Ray. Mew sees Ray as the eternal fuck up and the only reason he chose him after Top was because Ray was a sure thing, a failsafe choice. Sand is Ray's second choice but Ray is Mew's last choice.

And I love Sand so much. Because he is honest and he doesn't mince his words and he doesn't hide. Now, he's also doing all of this with an addict who is using him to cheat on his boyfriend because, frankly, his boyfriend doesn't love him and he doesn't love his boyfriend but also can't let go of him because he saved him from a suicide attempt so... you know. But he is honest!

Just... just them. Them, fucked up but darling them. Oh, they are so damaged and so hurt and so fucked up and so in love and it's rough but I love them anyway.

Ray, babygirl, darling, sweetheart, you really need to work on that. You're so close! SO CLOSE.

I love Sand's honesty despite knowing that he really, really does love Ray and will likely struggle to move on even if given the chance. At least he's open to trying and is making sure that Ray understands what's at stake.

Not that he's managed to say no to Ray yet.

Just Sand helping Ray cross uneven ground in a place where he was insecure and unsure. That's all. No symbolism here at all.

[jungshookz]

y/n needs help with sunscreen and, uh, yoongi can definitely help out with that

➺ pairing; demon!yoongi x y/n 

➺ genre; ...:-) 

➺ wordcount; 1.5k 

»»————- ☀️ ————-««

“remind me again why we couldn’t just stay home today?” yoongi grunts, leaning back against the flimsy foldout chair and tilting his head back, squinting slightly as bright rays of white-hot sun seem to shoot directly into his eyes despite him wearing a pair of pretty solid sunglasses, “fucking hell, that’s bright. you need to do something about the sun. can’t you, like, fly up there and shove some clouds in front of it or something?” 

god, he hates the outdoors 

and he hates the heat

years of living on earth have really softened him because he would like nothing more than to go back home and blast the air-conditioner until the apartment becomes an icebox 

“aw, don’t be like that. i, personally, love summer,” jimin sighs, crossing one ankle over the other as he basks in the warmth of the beautiful, golden ball of butter hanging in the sky, “and humans love going to the beach during the summer season! we need to do things that they like now that we live with them. you need to humanize yourself-“ 

“first of all, you love everything, and second of all, we aren’t humans,” yoongi grunts, reaching over to adjust the umbrella so that he’s covered by more shade, “you could literally sprout wings out of your back if you wanted to, and i could set someone on fire right now if i wanted to. and right now, this heat is making me want to set everyone on fire- oh my god, this shitty umbrella isn’t budging- how far did jungkook stick it into the sand?!“ 

“NOOOOOO!” both jimin and yoongi look over when they hear jungkook whining, yoongi letting out a laugh of genuine joy when he realises that jungkook’s sandcastle just got completely washed away by a rogue wave

HAH

“oh, no!” jimin gasps, sitting up straight in his seat as if the destruction of jungkook’s sandcastle is the worst possible thing to happen in the entire course of humanity, “oh, gosh… we should help him rebuild his castle, it’s the only right thing to do… i feel awful-“ 

“awful? that wave did him a favour.” yoongi snorts, “his sandcastle was an ugly little clump of sand, anyway- and if he was smart, he shouldn’t have built it so close to the water-“

“aw, did jungkook’s castle get wrecked?!” yoongi turns his head slightly upon hearing your voice and he isn’t surprised to see a popsicle (or what’s left of a popsicle) in your hand, “i told him not to build it so close to the water but he refused to listen to me. he said he wanted it to be close to the water so the crabs would be able to live in it if they wanted to.” 

“yeah, i’m sure the crab real estate market is booming right now-“ yoongi rolls his eyes, “see, jimin? i’m not the only one around here who thinks that jungkook’s sandcastle location was stupid-”

“hey, i never said stupid-“ you drop to your knees on top of your beach towel next to yoongi as you slide the rest of the popsicle off the wooden stick and pop it into your mouth in one go, chomping down on the deliciously citrusy icy crystals, “i jusht said it wahs in a bad locashun-“ 

“yeah. a bad, stupid location-“ 

“well, i don’t know about you guys, but i’m gonna go help him!” jimin gets up from his seat, pulling his sunglasses down from the top of his head before shaking his head, “i feel bad, i can practically see the waves of disappointment radiating off of him and i just can’t help but-“

“yeah, yeah, we get it, you’re an angel-“ yoongi dismisses jimin with a flick of his wrist, his eyebrows raising slightly when he sees you peeling your top off to reveal the very cute bikini you have on underneath, “and i am the complete opposite, hello-“ he lowers his sunglasses onto the tip of his nose, shamelessly letting his eyes wander along the slope of your back and the curve of your perky bum as you get settled on your beach towel, “where’ve you been hiding this little number??” 

“i haven’t been hiding it anywhere, i just brought it out for the beach!” the corner of your mouth twitches in a smirk as you get comfortable on the soft, warm ground, folding your arms over each other and resting your cheek on top of them — the truth is you have been hiding this little number (it’s a slinky little two piece that matches the fiery orange of yoongi’s newly dyed hair) because you’ve been saving it for a nice beach day like this, “do you think you could help get my sunscreen from-“ 

“yes.” yoongi rips his sunglasses off his face and gets up from his seat immediately, leaning down to grab the bottle of sunscreen out of your bag,  “god, yes, i can help-“ his mouth goes dry when you reach behind yourself to undo the string of your top and he turns to bite his fist because all he wants to do right now is thank satan for linking him up with you 

he remembers he was gonna call in sick on that day, too, but thankfully he decided to get out of bed and actually go to work like the good, hardworking demon he is 

it’s only a second later that you feel yoongi straddling you gently, crotch pressed against your bum and- “oh- god, yoongi, a little warning would’ve  been nice-“ you laugh lightly when you feel a squirt of sunscreen shoot across your back, shutting your eyes as your muscles relax under yoongi’s familiar touch 

“your ass looks so fucking good, baby-“ yoongi seems to be mesmerised and in his own little world as he rubs the sunscreen into your skin, letting his hands glide up and down your back in slow sweeps as he takes his bottom lip in between his teeth, “i, like- god, i wanna fuck the shit outta you-“ 

“yoongi-“ your eyes pop open and you feel your face burn up immediately when yoongi suddenly grips your hips with both hands and forces you up a little 

you turn your head to look back at him (which, in hindsight, perhaps only encouraged yoongi even more because he loves when you look back at him when he’s got you on your elbows and knees for him), flustered to see that yoongi’s eyes have gone dark and there’s a certain look of heat swirling around in them, “we are in public-“

“so? there’s an umbrella and we’re off to the side-“ yoongi’s hand slides up your greased-up back before it slinks into your hair, fingers wrapping around your hair before he gives you a gentle yank, “and you love when i fuck you in this position, you were certainly a big fan of it last night-“ he growls playfully, leaning down so he can press a kiss to the back of your ear 

“you are shameless!” you can’t help but let out a laugh of disbelief as the logical voice in your head tells you that this is a highly inappropriate way to act on a public beach while the sprinkling of demon in you tells you that you should 100% just let yoongi yank your panties down on a public beach- 

“i’m a demon, the fuck did you expect?” yoongi’s other hand grabs a fistful of your ass as he starts rocking against you, “you knew who i was when we got together, you literally summoned me-“ 

“y/n, jungkook needs your help with his castle!” 

“shit- one second!“ you practically shove yoongi off and roll out from under him when you hear jimin’s sweet voice ring out, getting up onto your knees and reaching behind your back to fumble with the strings of your top, “you’re horrible, you know that?” 

the last thing you’d want is for jimin to pop his head under the umbrella to see yoongi slutting you out because that would probably traumatise him 

“you love it, don’t lie.” yoongi can’t help but chuckle to himself at how flustered you are (even after all this time together, your cheeks still get so pink as if you’re not used to him being so brazen with you all the time) as he plops himself back down on his chair, running a hand through his hair before he leans down to pick his sunglasses up off the floor 

“you’re gonna have to help him dig the moat because apparently i didn’t do it as well as you-“ 

“coming!” you get up onto your feet, dusting the flecks of sand off your hands and looking around for your own sunglasses, “i’m coming, i’m coming-“

“well, not yet, but you will be once we get home.” yoongi coughs, flicking his finger towards you before your sunglasses suddenly float out of your bag and over to you 

“you are horrible.” you snatch it midair before anyone notices before scrunching your nose at yoongi in a frown of disapproval

absolutely horrible! 

🎙️ scold yoongi and y/n for public indecency (talk to my characters!) 

📚 why not explore the rest of the library while you're here? (full fics!) 

💫 or perhaps you want something shorter to read? (drabbles and mini series!)

🌟 or something even shorter? (teeny tidbits like this!) 

[thewayuarent]

Clothes in Only Friends

And how it let us know everything we need about Ray’s choice

God, do I love costume department working on Only Friends. There is so, so many fun and interesting things to notice - “talking” t-shirts (especially Boston’s), and Sand with yellow, and how TopMew started as “striped” couple - but one is vertical and the other is horizontal (is it about them being misreading each other? or is it about them crossing each other’s lives? idk), how Boeing appeared and we immediately see TopMew vibes all over him. How we can easily indicate each character individual style.

But my favorite thing is how the series uses style shifting to show what’s going on with characters without telling it out loud.

We have Nick, who was so obsessed in his jealousy, that he started to copy man he knew Boston was interested in. We see him coming back in terms with Boston, but we also see him learning to accept himself again - the way his style got back to his usual one, with green and blue colors and more boyish vibes. He’s not the same, because his experience changed him, but he is who he is, not a shadow of someone else.

We have Mew, who adapted Ray’s style and behavior because he was hurt, and he chooses to numb his pain, and he gets to the only person he thinks can help him with that. He’s coming back to his senses by the end of episode nine, but he’s still very Ray-coded, because he still didn’t figure out who he is or what he wants and he’s in the middle of his journey (I’m so waiting to see how it will turn out).

And we have Ray, and his example is so fascinating. Because if you look at Ray’s choices of clothing in episodes 8 and 9, you can actually predict everything happens. (I will exclude scenes from university cause, well, uniform)

His style screams Sand most part of the time, but it’s absolutely not about him wanting to adapt Sand’s life or look. It’s about him choosing Sand since the very beginning of his and Mew situationship. Because while Ray needs his time to realize everything about him and Mew and him and Sand, we know he already subconsciously made his choice. As well as we know Ray and Mew will never work out way before they are ready to admit it.

The talk. There a lot of things were said out loud for the first time in this scene that are every important. But this is also about what was shown to us - that the first time we see Ray and Mew as a “couple” is also the first time Ray chooses to wear something Sand-coded. Specifically something very similar to what Sand picked for him.

And there is something about Ray saying “I’m so happy when I’m with you” (can he hear himself? no, but really, it’s been two weeks and I’m still like, bro, for real?) while he stays here, wearing this shirt that looks like the one he wears at the night they were happy, and the night their relationship was damaged hard.

The bookshop. Here we see Ray way closer to his usual style, but not exactly. Ray is always extravagant, and attention grabbing, and using patterns, and lip gloss, and he is just that kind of person. But here he’s quiet. And monochrome. No make up, not patterns, no usual brightness. Mew looks more like Ray than Ray himself.

And this is indicating why their relationship with Mew is wrong - Ray is not fully himself, he adapts in a way Mew never asked him, actually, but he knows makes his presence more tolerable. He seems like himself, sure, but he doesn’t feels like himself.

The party. I made a post about is already - it’s just great example of Mew and Ray thinking they are on the same page while they are actually not even from the same book.

It’s all about toxicity, and pain, and dragging each other down instead of helping each other to stand.

The fight. This is my absolute favorite one. Because this whole conversation - absolutely unhealthy and terrible it is - is actually both of them realizing they will never work out.

And they try so, so hard. And I believe it’s really frustrating for both of them to accept they failed. And of course instead of talking it out they blames each other, and hurt each other. And of course they will manage thing well later - but this is their breaking point, right here.

And of course Ray, who is attentive enough to recognize Mew’s feelings for Top has no fucking idea about him spending this whole time with Sand written all over him. While Yo knows, and Mew knows, and everyone including my grandma knows - he himself is just not ready to allow himself to admit it.

The river. So, this scene, as well as next one, Ray wears not just Sand-coded clothes, but actual Sand’s clothes. But there is a difference.

Because this is the scene where Ray finally admits his feelings - but he’s able to do it only after Sand admits his. Because Ray is incredibly insecure, and incredibly drowned in self-hatred, because Ray always reaches towards people who give him attention and love. Because he can’t allow himself to go for such risk without assurance.

And he’s sitting here with Sand, and Sand is in bright blue color, while Ray is in his t-shirt, but dark, and black, and with “You Only Live Once” and he’s admitting - to Sand and himself - his feelings, but he doesn’t admit to himself that he’s already made his choice until the very next scene.

The choice. And they are sitting again, and that’s only two of them again, and Ray wears Sand’s t-shirt again, and this is very different.

Because this is not just occasional t-shirt. This is the one we saw Sand wears. This is the one that was on him the very same day Ray made an attempt to move on from Mew. The very same day Ray said “I want to know you better”, the very same day he invited himself in Sand’s life. The day they were probably very happy, even if way far from well communicated, the day that could become an indication of something new for them.

And he wears this t-shirt when he says something cheesy about “I will handle everything while I have you” and “Let me be the part of your dream” - the very same dream Sand told him about the very same day.

And it’s just painfully obvious that there is nothing about Mew on the picture anymore. Sand told him “I won’t wait for you” and Ray was like “You don’t need to, I’m already here”. Oh they’ll fuck it up so hard, won’t they?

The comeback. And like that, Ray’s style is back. Because Ray’s clothes don’t tell us story about trying to be someone else, but a story about wanting someone else.

And when he and Mew have this beautiful adult healthy conversation that I love the most we know that Ray is already accepted his choice - the one that Yo knows, and Mew knows, and everyone in this world actually kind of knows. And this is how we know that this painful arc of Ray and Mew being toxic disaster is finally over even before they say anything out loud. Just because Ray wears his style again.

[firstkanaphans]

I heartily concur with your interpretation of the Ray/Mew no-sex scene - it absolutely wasn't about sex, it was about Ray pleading with Mew to just give him a sign that he's actually genuine about this 'relationship' - at this point I think Ray wants to be with Sand, but as long as there's a chance Mew is being sincere about this, Ray feels bound to stay with him, not because he's in love with him, but because a) he begged for this (even though I still maintain he wouldn't have had Mew not brought it up again) and b) I don't think he has it in him to actively reject Mew (which in itself is part of the reason they don't work), so imo in this scene he's thinking 'show me something, anything, that allows me to convince myself I did the right thing playing it safe/not going after Sand' and THAT'S why he's so angry - it's not about sex, it's not about Top, it's not even about Mew not being able to love him. And it's not about him just being mad at not getting what he wants. It's about Ray realising that he's thrown away the possibility of real love for the lie that is this 'romance'. And like you said, Mew as good as confirms as much in the final convo. I appreciated Mew's maturity and honesty so much in that scene - it made me do a complete u-turn on his character. Mew realises that Ray wants out of this non-relationship just as much as he does, but he also knows that Ray will never be able to be the one to say it because of the power imbalance between them, so he does it for the both of them, which is a true act of love and friendship. I think for some ppl Ray 'choosing' Sand had to be an A or B scenario, aka Ray could have Mew but chooses Sand instead. But because Ray is a messed up raw wound seeping trauma and addiction and self-loathing and confusion it was never going to be that simple. What we get is more complicated but just as valid - Sand isn't his second option, Sand is who he WANTS to be with, Sand is who he loves, and who he WOULD be with if a) he was better equipped to recognise and understand his own feelings ('when I'm with you I'm so damn happy') and b) he didn't have such a longstanding and complicated (and unhealthily co-dependent) history with Mew. He doesn't drive off hoping to hook up with Sand because Mew turned him down. He seeks Sand out because, if we agree the Ray/Mew fight is the moment they both accept on some level their relationship is fake, then that's the moment Ray allows himself the chance to go after what his heart really wants, which is Sand. Ray doesn't have the emotional toolkit necessary to be able to articulate all this to himself, let alone to anyone else, which is why Mew very gently does it for him. But Mew being the one to break this to Ray doesn't mean Ray's feelings are any less his own. I think of it more this way: Sand is Ray's first choice, but Ray's own happiness is Ray's last choice, because on some level he doesn't believe he deserves it, and so without intervention - from Mew, from Sand - Ray would always continue to self-sabotage (as talked about in the tweet Jojo reposted a few days ago). And slightly but not entirely off topic: I also think nuance is often lost in translation - I might be wrong but I wonder if his words ('why won't you let me have it') are less...yeesh in Thai. Just part of a general thought I've been thunking about deep analysis of foreign language shows when you're reading so much into everything and yet relying on what are often serviceable at best subtitles (for which I'm still eternally grateful!) - SO MUCH can be misinterpreted by just a single word choice, and I sometimes find myself having to choose between taking subs at face value vs retranslating them in my head to what I think better suits the acting/story/characterisation. Apologies for the indecent length of this - I got carried away! Long story short: I agree with you!

Honestly, I agree with all of this and couldn't have said it better myself. I don't have much to add, but I will pull out some of my favorite lines for a TL;DR:

"At this point I think Ray wants to be with Sand, but as long as there's a chance Mew is being sincere about [their relationship], Ray feels bound to stay with him, not because he's in love with him, but because a) he begged for this...and b) I don't think he has it in him to actively reject Mew."

"So imo in this scene he's thinking 'show me something, anything, that allows me to convince myself I did the right thing playing it safe/not going after Sand' and THAT'S why he's so angry - it's not about sex, it's not about Top, it's not even about Mew not being able to love him....It's about Ray realising that he's thrown away the possibility of real love for the lie that is this 'romance.'"

"I think of it more this way: Sand is Ray's first choice, but Ray's own happiness is Ray's last choice, because on some level he doesn't believe he deserves it, and so without intervention - from Mew, from Sand - Ray would always continue to self-sabotage."

As for the question of translation accuracy, I actually did a little digging into this. The line that was translated as "Why won't you let me have it?" was literally บอกกูมาได้ป่ะว่าทำไมมึงถึงไม่ยอมให้กูเอาสักทีอ่ะ (bòk goo maa dâai bpà wâa tam-mai meung tĕung mâi yom hâi goo ao sàk tee à), which can more accurately be translated as "Can you tell me why you won't let me have it?" I know that's not a huge difference, but it turns an accusatory statement into a legitimate question. Ray's not just stomping his foot because Mew won't give him sex. He's asking for an explanation. [Insert disclaimer about me not being a native Thai speaker here.]

[bird-inacage]

Only Friends: How Mew criticises Ray VS How Sand criticises Ray

Something I've really noticed since Episode 4 is the increasing distinction between how Mew and Sand school Ray. The scenes in Episode 6 and Episode 7 provide a perfect point of comparison. Both Mew and Sand use the phrase 'love yourself' towards Ray but the tone and delivery is completely different.

Unsurprisingly, what Ray desperately needs in his life is a mother figure. Someone who can be firm and stern when necessary but still caring at the same time. Sand's approach feels better suited to Ray in this respect.

Sand starts by acknowledging that Ray's hurting but it doesn't excuse his behaviour and it isn't going to stop Sand from calling it out. He makes sure to explain why it's problematic, why it's hurtful, why it's dangerous. Sand's words are driven by concern. He's even worried about the guilt Ray would have to shoulder if he did hurt anyone else.

Whereas in the scene with Mew, he makes immediate assumptions (I still maintain that Ray was not high here, he looked pretty darn sober throughout the bathroom scene to me), but that's where Mew's mind goes. His question "why don't you love yourself at all?" implies that Ray doesn't have any self-respect to take care of himself, and so what he's saying sounds driven by disappointment. Mew's tone also carries an air of exasperation, 'I've told you again and again'. @thatgirl4815 does a great job of commenting on Mew's attitude towards Ray in Episode 6 (here).

After Sand has said what he needs to say, he still doesn't want Ray to feel too bad. Sand's little pat on Ray's knee is an attempt to soften the blow, paired with a slightly helpless feeling of, 'I just want what's best for you'.

Now let's observe how Ray reacts when schooled.

Ray may not always implement the stern talking to he's getting, but you can tell that when with Sand, Ray is listening. He doesn't try to deflect, retort or dodge. He usually looks guilty. Guilt suggests remorse. Which means you realise what you've done is wrong. Whereas Ray's initial reaction to Mew is slight shock. This is the biggest indication to me that Ray wasn't getting high here. When he finally responds to Mew, it's brushed off with a laugh - 'yeah, yeah, I'm fine, it's nothing, no matter' - it doesn't seem like any of what Mew's said has really sunk in, just that Ray doesn't want him to dwell on this point any further.

How Mew delivers his pep talk feels authoritative, 'I told you to quit using drugs' (and you didn't listen). Your mistake is not taking my advice. On the other hand, Sand never once says anything along the lines of, 'I told you so, I warned you, I tried to stop you'. It's not about Ray following his orders, it's Sand providing Ray with the context to hopefully avoid making reckless decisions for himself in future.

Mew seems to have accepted Ray's inability to change, and his criticisms are merely a matter of routine at this point. Whereas Sand seems genuinely driven to encourage Ray to do better for both the sake of himself and others around him.

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Fight Night

ALRIGHT! Life is wilder and crazier than normal and I have finally had a singular moment to breathe so it is time to do my first scene breakdown of Only Friends. Jojo and co have been feeding me so well, a literal feast of good sex choreo, hand placements, and puppy dog eyes that it has been impossible for me to figure out where I want to start.  But the end of episode five was just so expertly executed I couldn’t not talk about it, the build up, the explosion, the cool down?! Zero people in this production came to play, they showed up on set day one, gave some of their best performances, and just went about their goddamn day. [insert thirty more minutes of showered praise here]. 

So let’s get in to it: 

The Calm Before the Storm

We’re going to start with Sand and Ray before shit goes downhill, at a moment of genuine connection. This is not the first time we have seen them connect. The first of their peaceful, friendlier interactions are paid for by Ray but Sand quickly moves towards free hang outs with Ray after he gets to know Ray a bit better. I think we can all agree that 95% of the time that Sand and Ray are spending with each other, Ray is asking to be serviced (either seeking out sex, or being fed, clothed, or protected by Sand) [and I do think it is pretty telling that Ray’s idea of friendship is being taken care of in every way, and that Sand fully calls that out as being the role of a father]. But the 5% they do have of these moments of getting to know each other, primarily center around their own family dynamics, but in Episode 5, Ray does start dipping his toes in to getting to know more about Sand’s own hopes and dreams.

Where before Ray wasn’t really interested in Sand’s backstory as much as Sand was interested in Ray’s, now on the balcony of Sand’s dingy apartment, Ray finally starts to ask Sand about himself. And Ray is locked in, just absolutely attentive to Sand as he is talking, rarely looking away, asking follow up questions, and making statements based off of what Sand is saying. Things seem to be flowing smoothly, Ray seems slightly sad that Sand doesn’t know his father, he has an actual smile on his face with he tells Sand that he thinks his mother is really cool, and that he respects her. And of course he would respect the relationship that Sand and his mother have, the obvious love they have for one another, because he never got that from his own family. 

Sand has asked about Ray’s family before now (they talked about Ray’s mother in Ep. 2) but when they were first starting to get to know eachother, Ray brushed off any further conversation around his mother’s death. But that willingness to be honest with Sand is beginning to shift. Ray sits there listening to a birth story that runs parallel to his own, a mother with an unexpected pregnancy after a hookup, a father that wasn’t really intending on having a child, and Ray is faced with what his life could have possibly looked like if his mother was a different person. 

And they’ve been hanging out all day, Ray has seen much more of Sand’s personal life, his family life, it’s Sand’s birthday, they are cross faded, and Sand asks Ray once again what happened to his mother, and Ray takes the opportunity to be honest. He watches Sand refill his glass, and he says “she drank herself to death”. 

Now, personally, this is a very important moment to me in terms of both understanding Ray better as a character, and getting Sand and Ray to connect to each other more. A really important thing to remember about substance use disorders is that they are aware of the health consequences of long term substance use. Ray knows his mother drank herself to death, Ray knows that alcohol in the quantities that he is consuming are dangerous, and he cannot stop drinking. Ray does not have any good coping mechanisms for when his life gets hard, (and we will see a much stronger example of that near the end of this scene), but in the build up to the blow out, we are taking some time to re-establish that Ray has a drinking problem. And we are gaining a bit of further insight in to the genetic history of Ray’s own mental health problems. 

I’d have to go back and rewatch all the episodes to be completely certain, but I think so far the only person we haven’t see call Ray a burden is Mew, Mew who knows that Ray tried to kill himself two years ago, Mew who remembers that Ray said if he was gone he wouldn’t be a burden anymore on his goodbye phone call. I mention his mostly because, if that is true, then that is an indication to me that Ray’s other friends don’t really know that much about him. They don’t know how deeply the idea that he is a burden to everyone around him is rooted in to his psyche. They probably don’t know anything about Ray’s relationship to his mother, after all, she died when he was still in high school. 

We know from the end of Episode 4, that Ray has shifted his interests from Mew to Sand. That is not to say that he is not still in love with Mew, or that he wouldn’t drop Sand as soon as possible if presented the opportunity to date Mew, at least from my perception. But what it does indicate to me, is that Ray is beginning to at least consider Sand someone that care about him, that will listen to him, that will be an emergency contact, and as such Ray is more willing to be upfront and honest about who he is as a person. How his mind works, what his place in his own family is, what his own connection to family is. 

Ray senses he is bringing the mood down, and makes a comment to change the subject, shutting down any potential deeper conversation or exposure to pity that he could have with Sand. We know Sand has been down bad for Ray since like…Dick Down 1, but he is really just embarrassingly obvious with his interest in Ray. The way his face goes slack jawed when he looks at Ray’s face for a second too long? Your cool guy persona is in the fucking gutter. ANYWAY, the point of this is that Sand and Ray are vibing, having a good time, connecting, Ray is opening up more, and Sand is falling deeper in to this infatuation at the first sign of Sad Boi Hours when we cut to Nick and Boston. 

Boston, who has had a genuinely peaceful day thus far. He got some work done for school, he and Nick clarified their relationship to one another, he made out in the pool, and he’s looking to reward Nick for changing by asking if he can stay over. We know that Boston has been blackmailed by someone, we know that as a result of that Boston has decided to “settle down” a bit as it were, spend more time with people who he can talk with afterwards. (If you ask me, this isn’t really what Boston wants, it’s just how he is trying to justify laying low with Nick, someone he thinks he has control over and someone I don’t think Boston suspects is capable of blackmail). 

It is Boston who suggests staying over (I am not going to dig too much further in to his choice to ask Nick, but I will just look respectfully towards the thought that he doesn’t want to be found). 

Anyway, Boston asks if he can stay over, and Nick smiles like he’s won something, and leads Boston inside, where they both promptly interrupt Sand and Ray. Boston’s face lights up when he sees Ray there, but not in any way that indicates that Boston is actually excited to see his friend. More so, that he has gotten +1 Information in his notes on Ray’s comings and goings. 

Boston sees Sand and Ray, and he is scheming already. The very first fact we learn about Boston in Only Friends is that he is The Hunter, and while we have primarily seen this in the way that he hunts-for-that-d, Boston is a hunter through and through, he doesn’t just aim and fire, he plays with his prey. He toys with Top and Nick’s emotions to try to manipulate them in to what he wants, and he sees Ray and Sand together here, and the douchebag gears begin to turn. 

But, Boston needs to know what these two are to each other first, so he can figure out his best approach to fucking with the two of them, so he asks:

“What’s with you and Sand?” 

“What? We’re just friends,” Ray says with a smile and a small laugh, like he is trying to brush off any attempt for Boston to think of Sand and him as anything more. Sand is of course, devastated (and it is at this point I would like to make a tangential remark about the brilliance of the cinematography in this entire scene because it frequently moves between blurry and clear, like the camera is having as difficult of a time focusing on any of the characters as the characters themselves are, since they are under the influence). 

Nick, having already interrupted the SandRay foreplay once today, tries to pull Boston along quickly, to give everyone in the apartment some motherfucking privacy, but no no, when it comes to every other person in the world besides himself, Boston does not do privacy. So he cockblocks himself and SandRay and suggests they all party instead. 

The Build Up

There is this moment of awkward tension, that Nick tries to break by saying that Boston is bothering Sand and Ray, but Sand, having just been reminded that Ray does not think of him as anything more than friends, agrees to all hang out together, thus shifting the mood between himself and Ray from sexual to casual. 

And Boston? 

Oh Boston has already won. 

Now, before I get further in to breaking down this episode, I just need to take a minute and just give a huge MASSIVE shout out to Neo motherfucking Trai. He has absolutely been destroying this role, he is clearly having such a good fucking time. But I don’t care about that part (I do but it’s not the relevant aspect here), I care about how much of Boston’s character, Boston’s internal monologue Neo reveals through Boston’s eyes. 

Boston has been watching how Ray and Sand interact with one another, he saw them make out, he saw Ray grab a cookie from Sand’s mouth with his own, and now, he is sitting here, with Nick pressed up against his chest watching Ray flirt with and cling to Sand. That boy has mischief in his eyes, that boy is a hunter and he smells fresh meat. Boston is The Drama, and while he’s in the middle of his own blackmail saga, he’s found new toys to pass the time until the dust settles. 

This is the face of a man who will cause problems on purpose. This is the face of a man who does not give two shits about upsetting the people in front of him. Boston is a miserable, manipulative piece of shit, and he will drag everyone down to his level. 

I am showering praise in Neo’s general direction, anyway, Boston is studying Ray and Sand’s interactions, the way they talk with one another, all the little things that point towards there being some genuine feelings. 

“The cookie’s getting to me”

“I told you to hold back”

“Well, it’s a good thing I’m not driving” 

“Can I stay over?”

“More often than this I’m going to start making you pay rent”

“Go ahead”

They aren’t talking like this is a one time thing, they aren’t talking like they are just fuck buddies. The way that Ray and Sand are slightly bickering/scolding each other, the way that Ray just so absentmindedly reaches to put his arm around Sand, it reads a very particular way. Especially when you add on the fact that Nick interrupted them in the kitchen that morning. 

Now, something happens here that could have been good. If Boston was a good person, if Boston actually cared about his friends, if Boston wasn’t such a fucking Masshole. Because Sand has been very obviously dopey and doe eyed for Ray for ages and the lines between lust and love have been blurring heavily for him. But when they started fucking, Ray and Sand both discussed and established the nature of their relationship. Only friends. No love, only sex. Friendship can come from sex. Sand wouldn’t take someone like Ray as his boyfriend (liar). But things have changed since their first hook up, at least for Sand. Sand is catching feelings and Sand has not talked with Ray about how his feelings are shifting. 

And Nick actually opens up the potential for Sand and Ray to have that conversation when he asks “Are you and Ray going out?” 

See, Nick is definitely nasty4nasty when it comes to his desire to be with Boston, and Nick is by no means whatsoever a pure person, the man bugged Boston’s car and kept the recording for fuck’s sake, but he is also not an asshole the way that Boston is an asshole. Nick isn’t asking Sand if he and Ray are going out because he wants to fuck with them, he’s asking because he is genuinely curious, because this ain’t the first time that he’s walked in on them.

But don’t pay attention to Mark Pakin’s body language here, because Nick is obviously drunk, relaxed, content, and curious. Look at Neo. Look at Boston. Look at the way Boston is looking at Nick when Nick asks if they are going out:

And look at the way Boston turns his gaze upon Sand and Ray the second Nick finishes asking the question. Boston is picking apart every action, every expression, every movement between Sand and Ray. Boston is calculating. This is not a dude that is just turning to look at the next speaker in a conversation. He’s staring deep into their souls to figure out how they actually feel about each other so he can decide if one or both of them cares enough about each other to be hurt by him.

So naturally, the next shot we get is Ray drunkenly cozying up to Sand, resting his head on Sand’s shoulder, in a way that feels very couple-y, in a way that feels different to the casual arm Boston throws over Nick like he’s got his prize on a leash. 

“You two talk all lovey-dovey like you are a thing, you know?”

Consider the fact that the second that Nick starts saying “you two talk all lovey-dovey, you know?” Ray peels himself off Sand’s shoulder and stares at Nick. And he’s smiling casually, like he finds the question funny, though he doesn’t fully break physical contact with Sand, still resting his arm across Sand’s shoulders. 

Sand is taken aback for a second, like he’s been caught, but he knows that he is not supposed to be falling for Ray. He knows he isn’t supposed to be wanting a relationship with Ray. He knows that this is not the time or space for a “what are we?” conversation, so he puts on a smile and squeezes Ray’s cheeks and says: 

“Look at his face. Look how squishy he looks. He looks just like a dog my mother has.” (Which we can interpret as Sand saying look at him, we cuddle cause he’s cute, I think of him like a pet). Associating Ray with his mother’s dog for me, feels like a way for Sand to try to get Boston off his back, to put his feelings in alignment with how Boston typically views his hook ups, as pets, as toys, as prey. But Sand’s face betrays him more than Boston’s ever could the very second that Ray says “I’m not a dog and I’m not his boyfriend” 

Sand has a moment of quiet devastation hearing that, even though he SHOULD KNOW BETTER. He should not be so upset about an objectively true statement. Sand may think of Ray as special, and may want to date Ray, and may want Ray to be his boyfriend, but they have never revisited their initial conversation about the nature of their relationship. As far as Ray knows, Sand would never take someone like him to be his boyfriend. Sand is just getting caught up in his feelings and this brief reprieve from the hard and labrous and exhausting life he leads is clouding his judgment.   

And Boston goes in for the kill 

“Ray, I bet Sand likes you. I can tell.”

And here is the question of the hour, a question I personally do not believe we have the full answer to, why the fuck is Boston targeting Sand? (beyond the fact he finds it fun). Boston and Sand clearly know each other, Boston knows Sand well enough to know that the weed he is smoking is not his typical supply. Boston came in to Sand’s home, smoked Sand’s weed, and then went straight for Sand’s throat. 

And Sand is a little mad and more than a little anxious. The way First plays the emotions in this moment is brilliant, you can see all these little moments of Sand feeling put on the spot, the way his mouth moves like he is trying (and failing) to maintain his composure. Like he is looking for an escape route, but can’t find one. Especially because Boston will not let him escape, explicitly calling Sand in to the conversation:

The Blow Up

“So what is it, Sand? Do you like him? My buddy here has both the looks and the dough. His type is hard to come by, you know?”

Sand tries to dodge, by putting on his logical person hat for the first time in what is most likely weeks. “Now that you said that” he starts with Ray literally moving his hand to brush it gently against Sand’s shoulders. “My answer has to be yes now, doesn’t it? But if you really want to know the answer, ask me again when I am sober” 

Sand is willing to let Boston win this, to concede here, to admit to liking Ray as if forced to agree expressly because Boston is poking at him about it. But he will not engage in an important conversation like the one Boston is setting up for him and Ray about what they are to each other when they are under the influence and when they are in public. 

Nick is like “alright”, but that is not enough for Boston. (SERIOUSLY LOOK AT NEO, LOOK AT HOW MUCH FUCKING DISATISFACTION IS BEHIND THOSE GODDAMN EYES! Jojo and Ninew fucking thank you for giving me Neo in this role, he’s been craving complex roles since his time on The Eclipse and I’m glad he’s getting to have some). 

Boston is watching, waiting, wanting to see how Ray reacts to Boston speaking for Sand. Unfortunately for everyone, but Boston especially, Ray does not have the reaction I think Boston is expecting. Instead of Ray getting uncomfortable, instead of Ray pushing himself away from Sand, instead of Ray doubling down on him and Sand not being boyfriends, instead of Ray reacting negatively to the idea that this “not his type” poor boy might actually like him he leans in close, he smiles wide, he teases Sand a little in a way that does not feel cruel. 

So Boston has to escalate. Boston has been stalking his prey in the grass for as long as he has been in this apartment, and now it is time to strike. 

“Even if you really do like Ray, I doubt it will work out between the two of you. Ray’s whole ass is owned by Mew” 

BOOM. Instant kill. Boston just made this entire encounter go from 0 to 100. Especially because (as far as we know), he has no goddamn idea about the dent in Ray’s relationship to Mew, and his realization about how Ray and Mew’s feelings are never going to align. 

Ray did not spend all that time sitting in the bathtub staring at a keychain and a Poor Boy shirt for nothing. Personally, I am uncertain where Ray stands with Sand, I think Ray is probably chasing the endorphins of a good and easy lay. I think he is drawn to Sand’s inherent need to act as a caretaker. But as I’ve said before, Ray uses Sand far more as a service provider than he does a person he wants to make genuine connections with, only recently has he started to open up more and seem more interested in Sand as a person.

But Boston is poking at an extremely sore spot. A spot I don’t think Boston considers as a nuclear option, because I don’t know that Boston is aware that Ray tried to kill himself. I don’t think Boston knows that Mew came and saved his life. I don’t think Boston is truly aware of just how deeply important to Ray Mew is because he seems to be one of the first people to make Ray feel less alone. 

Immediate anger. Boston has struck a nerve, gotten a bullseye. If he actually cared at all for his “friends” and their feelings he could have stopped there. Boston is a voyeur, a photographer, all he does all the time is watch, record, manipulate bodies. He can read people well, but he is cocky and overconfident about his own understanding of the situations that have occurred between people in his social circle. If Boston cared, he would see that Ray just turned on a dime, that the loose, casual, fuzzy, flirty person that was just wrapped around Sand has turned in to a tense, focused ball of rage. ““What the hell are you saying, Ton?” 

“What? Sand doesn’t know you’ve been in love with your best friend for years? But Mew is with Top now. Someone beat you to it, man.” 

So…my Dad has this habit of saying shitty things, and over the years we have made safewords with him to tell him when he is approaching saying something out of pocket and he should change the subject (“pothole”), and for when he has said something out of pocket and should probably stop talking immediately (“sinkhole”). My father consistently blows right through “sinkhole” and continues to dig his hole deeper. Boston reminds me of my father. 

Pothole: “Ray’s whole ass is owned by Mew” 

Pothole: “Mew is with Top now. Someone beat you to it, man”  

I honestly don’t feel like I need to use too much space here on Sand’s reaction, because I read a really good post by @bird-inacage about how this revelation hits Sand hard because he may feel stripped of his dignity and see himself as a fool. 

“What a shame for my pal” 

Shout out to Jojo and co for this shot of Nick. Nick who looks horrified. Nick, who I don’t think has seen this behavior of Boston’s up close. I mean, he knows that Boston has something on Ray and Mew, he didn’t really seem to care at that point. But Nick doesn’t really know Mew, Nick only cares about Top insofar as he is competition for Boston’s attention, he’s not really friends with Ray. But he is friends with Sand. And the implications from the beginning of the episode that Ray has stayed over and hung out with Sand all day multiple times, feels like Nick is at least starting to develop some modicum of care/friendship with Ray. And Nick is sitting there, watching Boston be cruel. Cruel to people that Nick actually cares about. Cruel to people that Nick doesn’t think deserve it, and the wheels are turning, so there isn’t much more he can do about it. 

“Oh wait. My bad. I remember you and Mew making out. Did you take his virginity?” (Sinkhole. Boston should probably shut his goddamn little whore mouth at this point)

“Ton, what the shit are you going on about?” Ray asks, shooting up from the ground and in to a standing position [and lord almighty is Khaotung just a powerhouse actor between the way he is able to physically embody Ray’s anger, and just look and act drunk all the time). This has turned in to a fight, Boston has riled Ray up, Boston has already punished both Ray and Sand at this point. But he has to make everyone around him as miserable as humanly possible in as little time as he can, so: 

“Oh? I saw everything. I took some photos, actually.” (SINKHOLE. No seriously dude you need to shut the fuck up right now). 

“What the hell did you do that for, bastard?” Ray is shifting his weight, Khaotung’s breathing has changed. You can fucking tell Ray’s heart is racing, that a blind rage is seeping in to his bones. Ray is livid.

“What? I just want to keep track of my best friends’ romantic moments. Was I wrong?”

 

(Spoiler alert to those reading this post for the body language breakdown: Boston does not actually give a single flying fuck if he is wrong)

“Keep track?” 

And finally someone punches Boston straight in the mouth! And even still! EVEN STILL Boston cannot shut the fuck up. Boston is righteous in the worst possible way. Boston is hurting everyone around him for the sake of “honesty”, “clarity”, “visibility” in a way that Boston himself in his own life actively avoids. With Nick he keeps their relationship status unclear, with Nick he refuses to get photographed, with Nick he hides the fact that he hooked up with Top. But Boston will air everyone else’s dirty laundry, Boston will record and photograph everyone else’s private moments, Boston will give facts as best as he knows them when literally anyone else is involved:

“Sand has every right to know. Ray is in love with Mew. They even screwed! But good thing you came along, Sand. He needs to get over Mew”  

“What does it have to do with you?” Ray is still fucking pissed, and this is a really important and relevant question to ask. Boston has no place in Ray and Mew’s private business. Boston has no right to record them without their permission. Boston has no right to have this conversation about Ray’s feelings with Sand. And Boston does not answer this question. He will not answer this question, because for Boston everyone else’s business is his, and his business is no one’s. 

Now, do I think Boston is lying about Ray and Mew having sex? No. I think there are actually a number of layers to that statement. I think we are either a) setting up to have a killer conversation about people’s perceptions of sex/people’s perceptions of what counts as sex or b) that Boston fully thinks he saw Ray and Mew do something sexual when they actually didn’t [think Ray throwing up while doubling over Mew so it looks like he’s giving head]. And it is worth noting that Ray doesn’t deny the statement, although this doesn’t necessarily mean anything because there are lots of words and fists and vitriol being thrown around at this point, confirming or denying any sexual relationship with Mew is not really going to do anything to calm this situation. 

“If you’re not in love with him anymore, then why did you get so mad?” Boston asks, and I love that this is phrased as a gotcha! moment. Boston thinks asking why someone got mad enough to punch him in the face after he said he was keeping track of his friends' romantic lives by holding on to pictures he had taken of them in secret is definitive proof that he is correct. Ray got real mad about Boston’s doucheness, and that must mean that Ray is love with Mew. 

And he isn’t totally wrong. We know that Ray is in love with Mew, we know part of why Ray is in love with Mew. We know that Sand is now filling a similar role in Ray’s life as the only person who is willing to take care of him. But this question for me highlights a huge aspect of Boston’s character that I do not think we appreciate enough. 

Boston does not know everything, and he acts like he does. 

Ray is getting so mad at Boston because what Boston is saying is true AND Ray is getting so mad at Boston because Ray almost compromised his relationship with Mew by kissing him when he was sleeping. Ray is in a weird place right now in relation to how he sees Mew and how Mew sees him. At the moment, Mew is patient, kind, and forgiving, and willing to maintain their friendship and accept Ray’s apology as long as Ray can get it through his head that Mew is never going to see him as a potential romantic partner. If Ray cannot do that, Ray loses a very important person in his life. (And we see Mew punch Ray in the promo for next week, my hunch is that Nick tells Ray about Boston and Top and Ray tries to warn Mew about Top and Mew takes that as Ray lying to break them up, but that’s beside the point). 

Boston may be correct that Ray is in love with Mew, but Boston has no idea what the fuck he is talking about when it comes to Ray’s current relationship to Mew. Boston does not know that Mew and Ray are in a rocky relationship right now because of Ray’s feelings. Boston thinks that he is right that Ray is in love with Mew because Ray gets so mad so quick, because he does not understand that a huge part of what is riling Ray up is that Boston is poking at a deep injury he thinks is just a flesh wound. 

And still after Boston has gotten a fist to his face, and swung back; even after he has shoved Nick out of the way so hard Nick fell on to the couch; even after they had blown off some steam and were de-escalating to the point of screaming at each other rather than beating eachother up. Boston 

Still 

Can 

NOT 

Quit

“Oh, are you going to be two-timing?”

Boston is literally just…going in to a house that is not his and lobbing grenades all over the place cause he’s fucking bored. Cause he sets Ray off again, leaving Sand, screaming at Boston and Ray to stop fighting (IN HIS OWN FUCKING HOUSE, AFTER SHARING HIS OWN FUCKING WEED). 

Boston listens to Sand, Boston walks away, Boston goes to Nick’s room. But the look in his eye? 

He is not done with this. Boston is not surprised that Ray got mad, Boston was reveling in Ray’s reaction, but I think Ray’s rage went beyond what Boston had anticipated, and this feels to me like an act of war. 

The Cool Down

Boston and Nick remove themselves from the scene and Ray and all his infinitely perfected coping skills rushes to chug as much alcohol as he can. 

Again, thank you to Jojo and co for spending this amount of time highlighting Ray’s addiction, reminding us that Ray is not just a party boy, but is an alcoholic. Ray’s using alcohol to calm his nerves, possibly to forget what happened, and definitely because he has no idea what else to do but run to the most comforting item he can. 

We cut to the silence of Sand’s bedroom. Sand and Ray laying awkwardly side by side. Ray, to his credit, does try to comfort Sand 

“Hey, don’t listen to what Boston said. If there’s something you want to know, ask me” 

The problem is, while Boston does not have the full context for the depth at which he has just hurt Ray, he is still right. Ray loves Mew, and if Ray didn’t, he would not have gotten mad the way he did. Ray can say whatever he wants here, Ray can ask to be trusted by Sand to tell him what he wants to know. But Sand has seen enough of Ray’s behavior, been jerked around enough by Boston, heard too many times in too short a period that Ray does not consider them anything more than friends, and so Sand is back to boundaries and barriers. 

Sand lost sight of himself, and he fell too quickly for a deeply broken boy that he cannot fix, and who is not emotionally available enough to be a good fit for him right now. 

And God, for as much as Sand exists to be jerked around by the narrative and shit on and used by the wealthier characters, I see why First was picked to play this role (besides the fact that there is no one else but Khao that I think could have done Ray, and it’s hard to kick the GMMTV pair-ups.) We have not even gotten to the height of First Crying Over Problems That Are Partially His Character’s Fault in this show yet, but First is a master at microexpressions, and despite the fact that his face is pretty neutral, that Sand has put on this mask, there is just such a palpable disappointment radiating off of Sand. The shine in his eyes is dulled, I saw someone on tumblr say this really looks like the first time that Sand has seen Ray, looked at him without the rose-colored glasses. 

Sand’s mother loves him, I think he is special to her, but it is hard to feel special to someone you have to take care of. In the montage at the beginning of the episode, Sand is shown working, working, working, working and we don’t really see him interacting with other people who he isn’t providing a service to. He sings at the bar, he seems to enjoy that, he seems to have a good time with Yo and Atom, but he is only that close to them because they pay him to play there. He is providing them a service. The only classmates he is shown interacting with are clients he is selling plum wine to. It’s really possible that Sand’s only friend is Nick, and we don’t see them hanging out that much. 

And, I know there is always some contention about how any and all of these characters feel, how much or how little they are telling the truth, etc. But for me personally, I think about when Ray said that he does care about Sand’s feelings, and I at the time he said it, I don’t think he did, but I think by Episode 5 he is starting to genuinely care. 

Ray is getting better at reading Sand, Ray is trying to have a serious conversation, or at least to open the floor to one, and Sand is sad and so he isn’t saying anything, and Ray is able to tell that something is wrong. Ray wants Sand to talk to him, Ray says Sand’s name multiple times, trying to get him to answer verbally. 

And Sand can’t do it, not if he is looking at Ray, not if he has to actually face the reality of how much of a fool he has been, to fall this deep, to fall this fast, to get it in his head that he and Ray were becoming something more than friends. To actually believe for even a second that someone could think he was special. 

So he closes his eyes, and he takes a deep breath, and he says: 

“Forget it. I’m tired. One more thing…This has nothing to do with me.” 

Who is he talking to here, Ray or himself? 

Sand’s inhale in this moment is deep, it’s weary, unsteady, and sad. Sand is gathering the strength to let go of what he thought he had. He is rebuilding his walls, and placing Ray on the other side of them. He cuts Ray out completely the second he turns his back. And you can just see the guilt all over Ray’s face, you can see all these little bursts of realization moment after moment where Ray realizes that he’s losing Sand now too. Even though Sand is likely more of a consolation prize to him, an easy victim of his puppy dog eyes. 

Alone o’clock is not just for Sand, it’s for Ray too. Boston has won yet again because Boston is a miserable sack of shit lashing out because Mew and Top finally fucked and he has to make it everyone’s problem

Tagging the ephemerality squad: @lurkingshan, @waitmyturtles, @chickenstrangers, @ranchthoughts, @twig-tea, @clara-maybe-ontheroad, @distant-screaming

and my blessed mess crew: @so-much-yet-to-learn, @ginnymoonbeam, @bengiyo, @shortpplfedup, @neuroticbookworm, @emotionallychargedtowel because I want attention :)

[syrena-del-mar]

Very Rarely Do Men Know How to Be Altogether Good or Altogether Wicked

The last five minutes of today's episode left my mouth gaping, it really felt like I was watching a catastrophic accident happen in front of me and I just couldn't look away.

I wasn't completely sure on how Sand was going to learn about Ray and Mew's history, but I sure wasn't expecting that Ray's feelings would be exposed in such a volatile way. Maybe I’m in the minority here, I’m not exactly sure because I’m seeing a mixed bag of reactions, but I don’t necessarily agree that Sand ever needed to find out about Ray’s feelings for Mew. Much less from Boston.

This is partially going to be a bit of a continuation of my thoughts that Boston has a Machiavellian personality, followed up with SandRay's relationship becoming the unsuspecting 'victim'. Again, I'll be using pulling from Machiavelli's The Prince, but I'm also using his work Discourses on Livy. [Title credit to ch. 27 of Discourses]

Boston, still the Machiavellian 'Prince'

“Another difficulty to be added to the one mentioned above is that a state that becomes free creates for itself enemies rather than friends.”

― Niccolò Machiavelli, Discourses on Livy

Let me be upfront, I don't hate Boston, I actually enjoy the chaos he brings, but he's a fascinating character to break down and really analyze his actions. The last five minutes was, in my opinion, the most chaos that he has caused out in the open. This was never a situation of Boston 'saying what needed to be said.' This was Boston seeing an opportunity to take control of someone and doing so by unfairly outing Ray's feelings. I, again, stand by the idea that Boston is not a narcissist, but rather a Machiavellian personality type. This doesn't make him a 'villain'; Only Friends does a good job at showing that there are no villains in real life, just incredibly shitty people. Boston is simply a dick, who chooses to play with his friends to feel a sense of control when he doesn't have it. Has he ever cared for his friends? Does he keep them around simply for convenience? Hard to say. That doesn't make him evil, it just makes him a first-class jackass.

In my post where I had stated that he was more of a Machiavellian rather than narcissist, I came to the conclusion that, 'In his viewpoint, he is the kingpin, even in his group of friends, because he believes that he's the one that controls how his friends move since he knows how Mew is developing feelings for Top and is aware of Ray's feelings for Mew.' This time around, he practically admits it right after purposefully revealing Ray's feelings for Mew, "I just want to keep track of my best friends' romantic moments.' Boston hoards information so that he can throw it in people's faces when it fits him the best, there's no 'good intentions' on his keeping tabs on his friends.

Boston knows that TopMew are going to sleep together, they're serious and he's out of the running. Is it simply ego or is it because of self-interest? Whatever the catalyst is, he essentially has nothing holding him back anymore. He's seeing his "friends" getting "serious", while he's out there dealing with known (and unknown) filming of one-night stands he had being used as revenge porn. That'd hurt and anger anyone, but from what has been shown, Boston thrives off of control and so having his sex life used against him would feel like an even bigger blow. They're minor events that are snowballing and Boston likely needs to feel that control again. It's why he pushes Nick down without a second thought when Nick is trying to pull him away (opposed to how Ray lets Sand pull him back). So he claims that control back, he deliberately reveals what he knows, purposefully taking Ray down with him. While he may be feeling like shit, at least he'll be better off than Ray, who's left to pick up the pieces.

Sand and Ray, the intentional destruction of the 'kingdom'

“In general you must either pamper people or destroy them; harm them just a little and they’ll hit back; harm them seriously and they won’t be able to. So if you’re going to do people harm, make sure you needn’t worry about their reaction.” ― Niccolò Machiavelli, The Prince

Yes, Sand and Ray are in a “situationship.” Yes, they’re constantly getting both physically and emotionally closer. Yes, Sand is developing feelings for Ray (arguably vice versa too). But that’s it. They started off as friends with benefits and while they’ve been shifting around, neither one has fully crossed that line. There was no defined area in the relationship, at least not before the implosion. They’re barely getting to know each other, Sand even calls Ray out because he knew that Ray had never noticed him before, not in a way other than just the Bar Performer.

Ray is working through who he is without Mew, without his crush on Mew. He's come to the realization that while he put Mew as his #1 for many years, he's knows he's not that for Mew, and is slowly coming to the realization that he may have never been. These are his feelings to work out and his alone. Sand and Ray are first and foremost friends, as they had agreed upon and they happen to hook up often. This was what they agreed upon. Even if one or both of them are catching feelings, it does not mean that Ray has an automatic obligation to come clean to Sand.

Arguably, Boston was unaware of this set up, but honestly he didn't need to know. This was not his business, Boston didn't suddenly spill the fact that Ray has had feelings for Mew for years to look out for Sand. No, this was an intentional hit on Ray, where he was positive that it would hurt. Boston has repeatedly used Ray's feelings for Mew for his own convenience (Exhibit A: Meddling at the pool party), whether it be to get Ray to react in a certain way or to have a punching bag. He knew how defensive and reactive Ray would get when he brought up RayMew's kiss and supposed sex (was this ever confirmed?) that they had.

Boston speaks in definite presumptions when he talks about others, he does this to Top and he did it to Ray. He spins realities to how he sees fit and with the confidence that he speaks in, he makes others believe him. It's why Mew never questioned that Top is accustomed to sleeping around and didn't think that Top really wanted anything more than sex, because that's what Boston specifically told him that Top was like. It's why now Sand believes that he has no hour in Ray's life, even when Ray gives him the opening to ask more, because Boston purposefully spoke in definite terms. Even the most secure person would be left feeling unsure and unbalanced.

So when Sand, who knows that their relationship is based on being friends with benefits, is confronted with words from Ray's supposed friend who explicitly states that Ray is in love with Mew and that he's being used as a rebound, what else can he do but believe that?

What little trust and rapport that they had started to build up has come crumbling down. They're frantically gathering the pieces of a 'kingdom' that has been turn into dust, the aftermath of the Prince's wrath. It's why Ray scrambles for the bottle and it's why Sand shuts down. How can they react to what Boston did, when they're struggling to salvage the little remnants left behind of what was supposed to be a blossoming relationship?

[tungtung-thanawat]

Ray's mother, music and the barriers to his heart that Sand must overcome

TW: discussion of suicide This is building upon the shorter meta I wrote here about the Micro song that plays during Ray's suicide scene. The parallels between Ray's arc in falling for Sand and Mew are so overt that I was completely overlooking the person that Sand is really up against in Ray's wounded heart and who, I believe Mew is ultimately a proxy for - his dead mother. I go into a little bit about how Sand's affection for Ray can sometimes read as familial here and I think it's quite readily noticeable how Ray acts very childlike around Sand with his puppy dog eyes and constant wheedling. One thing I do want to note is that Ray doesn't particularly come off as childlike in any of his other interactions either with his friends or in his conversation with P'Yo except for perhaps that first night when he got drunk and told his friends how much he loved them and during the suicide scene when he cries wrapped up in Mew's arms, distraught by how his mother never loved him. I think Ray is the epitome of someone with a deeply wounded inner child and the only way he can ask for love is as a child, somewhat helplessly and appealing to people's caretaker/protective nature. The parent child relationship between Sand and Ray comes up a few times through the episodes. The earliest explicit acknowledgement as far as I can tell is here at the end of episode 2:

There's another explicit nod as to how their dynamic is set up within Sand performing acts of service for Ray in Ep 3:

Sand says he has been Ray's driver, drinking buddy, shrink and chef. Three of those things - driving him around, cooking for him and providing him emotional support are not just familial activities but activities you would normally do for a young child. Sand pointedly leaves out that they've had sex from this list of services. And yes, that's because Sand doesn't view sex as a service and if it was just this then it would be hard to make the point that I'm trying to make which is that Sand needs to fulfill that parental attachment need that Ray craves; give him that type of no strings, unselfish kind of love before he will ever be able to gain Ray's trust enough to be able to build a romantic relationship with him. So how is the show making this point? That Sand is replacing not just Mew but Ray's dead mother in his heart? Well, let's start with the two things that Ray's mother has left him with: 1) music and 2) her alcoholism. Ray's friends were all very surprised when Ray volunteers to arrange the music for the party. While that was more about Ray's lack of interest in taking responsibility (His now in restrospect gut wrenching 'I'm only good for spending money' line from Ep1 like ouch) but it also indicates that none of them really know or connect with Ray over his music. How can they?

Music is such a deeply personal part of him, that's where he keeps the love he holds for his mother; the love that is entirely grief - painful in its vastness, beautiful in its consistency. And the first thing Sand tells him to do is be grateful for it - her good taste in music. The second thing? Is to show him how to enjoy it:

The fact that he's taking his hand and Ray is half resisting it, the silliness of the gesture more than the touch itself but he's undeniably enjoying himself - It reads to me like the awkward, stilted movements of a childperson who doesn't know how to move their limbs when they're first being taught how to do something. And when you realize that the song that Ray plays for Sand in ep2 is the same one that is playing when he's taken the pills - the positive associations that Sand is making with Micro in Ray's life suddenly becomes monumental. This happens twice more in the show. Once, in the car when Sand ditches his date to drive them to Ray's house where they engage in a delightful flirtation around it, Ray singing badly while Sand eats it up complains about it

And again, at the night of the party when Ray tells Sand to play Micro for him and Sand like the simp that he is serenades him with it:

But their connection over music doesn't stop at teaching Ray to cherish and honor his past - and unknowingly the pains that are attached to it. No, Sand goes further to expand it, help Ray find a space for himself in music, carve a corner of it that isn't only pain, isn't only that moment of seeing his mother laid flat on that floor with a whiskey glass inches from her fingers.

When music is such an integral part of Ray's personality how else does one interpret this scene other than Sand telling Ray to move on, when Sand plays Selina and Sirinya for him because finding new music he likes is Sand's happiness how else do I interpret it as anything other than Sand teaching Ray how to be happy? What am I supposed to do but pull out my own hair when they're connecting over music, looking at each other like this:

And Sand will do it AGAIN - as the ep5 preview suggests - take Ray's hand and teach him how to enjoy contemporary music while Ray makes his awkward, adorable face where he's having fun in spite of himself. And the sheer amount of joy that Sand gets in seeing Ray like this is just - they're so insufferable:

But perhaps the most surprising (and delightful!) of all is this:

Ray taking his headphone off, interrupting this magical moment of being with Sand and the music, telling him he wants to be close to nature and drink beer - for the very first time Ray desires alcohol not as a means to destroy himself but as a vehicle of peace and of connection and I haven't been well since seeing it and understanding what it means. In many ways, Ray's mother is such a tragic character. I know nothing of this woman other than the three seconds I have seen of her dead and the frightful way she has driven her son to follow in her footsteps, to feel so unloved and unwanted. And yet she named him Ray Pakorn (pakorn meaning sun) - a ray of sunshine. Perhaps even, her ray of sunshine.

How can I truly believe that she never loved him?

I know Ray tells Mew that she never held him but he loves her so dearly, wants to be with her so desperately, she permeates every moment of his life so thoroughly that the loneliness she left behind isn't a gaping emptiness but the festering carcass of a love so profound and full to bursting that Ray keeps trying to give it away, keeps trying to love his friends, keeps trying to save them and aches in the way that he finds no recipient for it.

People wonder what Sand sees in Ray, why he would fall for him. But Ray is a creature made entirely of love, soft still in the way he lets it rule his life, innocent in the way that he asks for it, precious in the way that he gives it away - How can Sand be anything but desperately in love with him?

[devieuls]

ˋ Jealousy .

Neteyam Sully x Metkayina Reader ( ONE SHOT )

Synopsis : When the game of love becomes a double-edged sword, jealousy turns into a consuming force. After months of back and forth between you and Neteyam, his jealousy reaches its climax when you decide to make you want and openly flirt with one of his friends, tormenting him mercilessly. Trapped in a spiral of conflicting emotions, Neteyam will have to confront his inner demons and find out if the desire of possession can ever be love. In an explosion of conflicting feelings that will inevitably lead both of you to bask in each other, consumed by the fire of passion after the spark of jealousy caused by your behavior.

Warning : SMUT MDNI !Explicit sex! - Bites, oral sex, canines, hickeys, unprotected sex, outdoor sex, dirty talk, foreplay, dacryphilia, rude sex…

Lenght : 7.8k

NETEYAM: 21 y.o / Y/N: 19 y.o (dress)

NA'VI WORDS : TANHI: Star / Bioluminescent freckles; YAWNE: Beloved YAWNETU: Loved one

· · ─────── · 𖥸 · ─────── · ·

The eclipse was beginning on the horizon, tinging the sky with pinkish shades, while the last rays of light danced on the sea surface of Metkayina beach. The flames danced animatedly around the bonfire, crackling with an ancestral melody that filled the air, creating an intimate and relaxing atmosphere, while the sound of the sea became increasingly enveloping. Your group of friends sat in a circle on the warm sand, the faces illuminated by the eclipse that began to welcome Pandora’s night. The sky was tinged with shades of purple and bluish, while the sun slowly plunged into the sea, leaving behind a trail of sparkling reflections. Every now and then, the song of a seagull echoed in the air, accompanied by the call of other sea creatures. The waves broke gently on the beach, bringing with them small fragments of shells and algae, which the feet of those present caressed lightly. The smell of salt and wet sand mixed with the pungent smell of wood burnt by fire. Your voices resounded in the air, intertwined in a lively chorus of laughter and tales, while Aonung carried some alcohol taken from the marui of the provisions. Your friends exchanged stories of past adventures, future dreams, new and lost loves, while you tried not to pay too much attention to love stories, knowing you were in a strange situation with Neteyam.

It’s been months since you and Neteyam have been pulling and dropping the rope, like your feelings are just something to pass the time with and not something concrete. You flirted, you spent time together, you talked a lot and it was clear that there was alchemy between you, too bad neither of you had ever bothered to declare or to formalize something, remaining friends, yes, but "not only". You hated that feeling of stalemate, where you waited because even if you mentioned the thing life seemed to lead you to not finish the whole sentence. Neteyam also spent time with other girls, knowing full well that you felt something towards him, almost playing with this too, pushing your buttons until you collapse and completely let go of the rope. The boys who courted you certainly did not miss, you were considered the 'pearl' of the Metkayina clan for a reason, coveted by most of the warriors or young men of the clan to become their companion. Among these men was also Aonung, the son of the Olo'eyktan, who had been raving about you for years now, trying to win you over, but never really succeeding, because of you. But that night you decided to change the cards on the table, to play the same game as Neteyam, intolerant of your overt jealousy when he stayed with other women, beginning to become a little more intimate with Aonung, giving him the chance he’d been waiting for for years now.

Neteyam looked at you from a distance as he saw you walking in the opposite direction to his, where Aonung was sitting with some stolen booze, sharing it with his companions. You approached the boy’s ear, making sure you were perfectly under the watchful eye of Neteyam as you did so, starting to speak to Aonung. You sat next to him while you smiled brazenly, immediately eliminating the minimum distance between your body and that of young Metkayina. You laid your hands on his shoulder, continuing to speak to his ear, while he did the same to you, exchanging complicit glances and fascinated smiles. Neteyam peered at you, sitting silently on the other side of the bonfire along with some friendships he had made in the clan, as he felt a feeling of jealousy he began to burn inside him, struggling to contain the anger that was emerging. He twitched his innervated jaw as his eyes gazed intensely at the scene, feeling the bitter taste of jealousy on his tongue, but he forced himself to smile and appear distant, even though he is slowly breaking inside. He kept a calm appearance, trying to concentrate on his friends and the stories they were telling, pretending not to pay too much attention to them, even if in the long run his annoyance was evident. His mind, however, was filled with thoughts in turmoil, finding the strength not to get up and break the septum of his friend when he saw his hand resting undisturbed on your thigh.

You smiled at Aonung with a playful air, tilting your head slightly to the side as you exchanged little jokes you passed your fingers on his arm and then on his neck or loose curls, maintaining a subtle but obvious physical connection. Your giggles and jokes filled the air, making it heavy for Neteyam’s already saturated lungs. Every gesture, every look or joke you made was calculated to generate a sense of jealousy in the guy you really cared about. Your words are charged with a magnetic energy as you flirt with Aonung in a casual yet seductive way; aware of the power you were having over Neteyam, who had been playing this game for too long on his own, having fun bringing out his annoyance. After about an hour Neteyam surrendered to jealousy, unable to bear to see you so attached to another boy. He hated to see your body too exposed to seek physical contact with that of Aonung who certainly did not deny it, but rather, did even more than he should. The eyes of the Na'vi wandered with hunger on your body, as if you were something that he would eat soon after and then throw or reuse until you were ruined or he tired. And so, like a poisoned arrow, reality crept into Neteyam’s heart, making his blood bitter. He was only able to absorb the frustration as he got up, being stopped almost immediately by Lo'ak who was at his side and was aware of your many childish games. "Bro, you can’t stop her from doing the same thing you did to her." Lo'ak’s voice was sincere, too sincere, while the grip on his brother’s wrist prevented him from doing shit. Neteyam was bubbling, his skin was burning, and his jaw was contracting from nervousness, as if he hadn’t started that game. "Lo'ak. You better let me go. I swear, I won’t do anything." He said turning to him, the frustrated smile still on his face, but with the difference that Lo'ak knew his brother better than anyone else. He let him go. He knew that holding him back was just a way to break that subtle balance that still kept a hidden side he didn’t like to show, that contained an aspect of himself he hated to admit he had. Possession.

His steps were heavy and fast, his feet sinking into the wet sand leaving deep traces. Neteyam had stiff shoulders and a palpable wrath on his face. His eyes shone with anger and jealousy, while his breathless breath echoed in the tranquillity of the night. The full moon illuminated his path, bringing out the furious waves of her dark hair moving to the rhythm of his determined steps. The boy’s hands were tight fists, the knuckles white from tension. You noticed him out of the corner of your eye, letting a mischievous smile out, and a defiant nod shone in your eyes, knowing that your plan was working. Knowing that you had managed to bring Neteyam to a breaking point, where even his calm had found shelter away from him, and this expanded your satisfaction. Your confidence and ability to flirt with Aonung created ambivalent situations full of tension, on the one hand with sexual while on the other with pure ardent jealousy. You enjoyed finally having the power, playing with the desire and jealousy of your 'him', because he had to be 'him'. Him or nobody. So playing this dirty game only helped you get to the much-coveted prize, not taking into account the fact that every action has a reaction, so you will have to deal with the consequences of your choices. The waves were crashing hard on the coast, as if responding to his inner fury. The sound of the sea mixed with the sound of his footsteps, creating a symphony of tumultuous emotions, giving voice to his tacit jealousy. You were amazed when he put on one of the greatest masks you’ve seen, looking almost peaceful and natural. His slower steps and his calm breath, though his aura remained poisonous and pointed. The sea seemed to follow his mood once again.

Neteyam passed behind you, surpassing Aonung’s body, then slipping his hand over your shoulder and then around your neck. Swallow silently as you feel his thumb caress the line of your jawline, as he pulled your neck back slightly, slamming your head against his lower abdomen. You broke away from Aonung without even wanting it, while silently the grip around your neck strengthened the right to let out from your lips a choked breath. "Ma Tanhì" his gentle voice, with a bitter aftertaste that weighed down your thoughts. "May I have a word with you, please?" He went on, completely ignoring Aonung who was watching your interaction, annoyed. "Can you give us a minute? Aonung and I-" He stopped you even before you could finish the sentence, bending over your ear, without taking your hand from your soft flesh, weakening your voice. "Y/n. Baby, don’t make me mad. Get your sweet ass out of here and follow me before I make you regret even coming here dressed like this." He growled low in your ear, making you shiver down your spine. A quiver made its way between your legs, taking you to tighten them instantly. Neteyam’s hand let you go and you started breathing regularly, swallowing while you tried to suppress the pleasure of being taken that way by your 'him' and by how he had obviously shaken your strong and decisive tone. He took a few steps back, waiting for you to get up, not knowing that you wanted to keep pulling the strings a little longer.

"Kalin, what’s going on? Do you have to leave?" Aonung maliciously asked you, with a mocking tone as a smirk unfolded on his face, thinning his eyes. His hand was placed between your hair, as he moved some curls behind your ear, approaching you. You looked at him, biting your lip, giving him clear signals that clearly you didn’t mind what he was doing. "No, I don’t." You said, turning your back on Neteyam. Neteyam looked at you with a smirk for the boldness in which you had posed your challenge, almost offending him. He approached you again, taking you hard from your jaw, turning you completely in his direction, pressing his lips on yours. His free hand went to take Aonung’s fingers out of your hair and then create a new grip there.

Your lips brushed rough, exploring the contours of your mouths, before venturing deeper. His tongue entered your mouth shamelessly, savoring and sucking it with pleasure, almost knotting it and weaving it with uncontrollable hunger, creating a symphony of thrilling sensations. You blushed to think that this was the first kiss you exchanged with Neteyam, never getting to this part in the months you were just flirting. The tip of his tongue grazed yours, pushing and chasing yours like an erotic dance and thought as slow. Each movement was charged with possession and desire, creating a succession of frantic pulsations between your legs. The spasms of pleasure spread through your mouth, panting heavily as the boy created a deep and carnal connection, guiding you on a one-way journey into true ecstasy, an ever more intimate discovery of your most hidden desires. Neteyam wanted to show how his tongue possessed yours, not ashamed to make you pant for the air you were losing and your blush. His tongue came out of your mouth only when he felt fully satisfied by Aonung’s upset reaction, savoring your lips again before they came off, leaving a thread of saliva that still joined you. You blush more, feeling all the power accumulated with your game crumble in seconds. You gasped as you caught your breath and covered your mouth with your hand, cutting the thread that connected you two.

Pride. Pride and Possession. These were the feelings that Neteyam laid two fingers under your chin, looking you in the eye as you looked so helpless and embarrassed. He smiled at you brazenly, showing his lovely canines as he saw something in you had slightly broken, feeling Aonung’s burning, silent gaze. Around you it was as if everyone had turned to look at you in shock, not really believing what they had just seen.

"I told you to get off your ass and follow me. Why do you always make everything so difficult, yawntutsyìp?" He blew his words with a mocking tone on the hand that still covered your mouth, and then took you and dragged you behind some rocks, away from everything and everyone, where not even the crackling of the bonfire was heard anymore. You followed him in silence as you touched your lips in disbelief, your eyes still open and upset, not really being able to conceive of the fact that he really did what he did. "You kissed me… You kissed me in front of everyone… y-you" you whispered breathlessly, while your back scratched against some rocks because of the body of Neteyam that immobilized you and took away every way to escape, leaning your hand on the sides of your body on the rock. "Damn it, yeah. I did. And you loved it so much," he growled at you, feeling so small in that moment, vulnerable. He approached your ear, taking long deep breaths, trying to suppress the anger caused by your behavior. "I’m tired of these fucking games, y/n. You know I want you and you know you want me. Then why the hell did you let Aonung touch you? Why his hand was on your thigh and his eyes were on your breast. Shit, ngatsyìp. You don’t know how long I had to hold on to not break his hands and claw his eyes out." His voice always lower and hoarse, accompanied by snarls and hisses annoyed, first hitting the bundle of nerves between your legs than your ears. You looked away, taking some breaths and then being forced by his hand to look at him. "You look me in the eye when we talk. Ok. What? You don’t feel so strong playing with fire anymore?" he said mocking you, biting your lip violently.

"I just played your game…" you whispered so much that the sea breeze took your words away before they reached Neteyam’s ears. Your heart kept pounding in your ears while trying to realize the situation. "Voice, baby. I thought you had it before. Raise your voice well with me" he said growling at you, causing you to gasp heavily. His free hand washed away the invisible marks Aonung had left on your body, hating how your natural smell was mixed with another man’s. "I said. I just played your game. Now you’re jealous of something you started?" You found the courage to fight back with a tone worthy of yourself, which still made you feel remotely respected by yourself. "That's my girl. Hmhm Jealous? Jealousy isn’t enough, sweetie." he replied in a low, threatening voice. "If I was just jealous, I would have just tamed you later. Now it’s not enough, I want to see how your pride and respect fades from your eyes for me. Make you beg for forgiveness, cuz you belong to me, only to me." He replied with an asshole smile as the tips of his fingers rose along your thigh slowly, coming under your loincloth. You gasped, feeling the blush hit your cheeks again "Can you hear me? just me. Mine alone." concluded before pressing both hands on your hips and waist. His lips touching your jaw before they were on your neck. You could feel your heart rumbling in your chest as your body temperature reached levels of warmth you never imagined. His rough touch made you shudder and get goosebumps, while your silky skin scratched against the rocks, making you wince.

"Tamed? You think you can tame me like this?" You whispered and then panted when his soft lips snapped to start working on your neck, alternating wet kisses with bites. He laughed raucously, gripping your body. "You think you can’t be tamed? I’ve tamed animals bigger and more dangerous than you, Tanhì. But I don’t just want to tame you, baby. I want to break you." His voice easily cut through those security wires you held so close to you. You clenched your teeth as you searched for words that were missing and that were erased in your mind by the body of the Omatikayan. "I am not an Ikran to tame, or an Ilu, Neteyam" you said as your voice died again in your throat, feeling his hands press every inch of your body poorly covered. The idea of being 'tamed' by Neteyam seemed to you an idea too tempting for your uncleanness of mind. "Baby. There’s a difference between taming an animal and claiming what’s rightfully yours. I claim what’s mine, y/n. And you’re fucking mine. I own you." He growled on your neck as one of his hands slid behind your back, following your bear spine, exploring your curves, satisfied to hear you tremble under his touch. "I try to be good to you… I swear" He started again, his warm, slow voice sending impulses all over your body, as he untied the knot of your loincloth slowly, feeling the chills when the sea breeze and a few drops of waves wet your skin because of the rocks. "But you don’t listen to me…" your loincloth now on the ground, leaving your bundle of nerves exposed before him. "You make it so difficult. And you like to see me angry with this" his rough hands explored your body with curiosity and desire, leaving nothing untouched.

He easily tore off the top of the strings that covered your breasts, leaving you completely naked under him, making you blush while in the distance you still heard the buzz of some of your friends talking. Neteyam came down to your collarbones, and then came down to your breasts and took your red, hard nipple in your mouth, starting to brush one with your tongue. " I’ll tame you one way or another, ma yawne," he said as he held your breast in his mouth, sucking your raging buds, bringing one of his hands to do the same job. "And it’s so easy that you’ll beg for more…" his voice was a seductive whisper that sends shocks to your brain. "… and I’ll give it to you." moaned while working your breasts "again…" sucked slightly making you arch your back against his face. "and again. Until you’re drunk on me." His warm breath hit the swollen tip of your breasts, while his malevolent tongue knew perfectly how to do it job. He got slightly annoyed when you began to wriggle slightly because of the pleasure, and his knee ended between your legs, pressing the surface against your inner thigh. He pinched your nipple greedily with his teeth as he swirled his tongue around your bud. Your hand ended up between his braids, pulling them as you sought consolation, whining slightly for the attentions that made you pump more and more blood down your belly, against your intimacy. His hand not engaged in stimulating the other breast, wrapped itself around the base of your fluffy breast, squeezing it against his mouth, while he pumped and squeezed your bud harder and harder.

"ma 'teyam…" you whispered with a thread of voice as you tried to wriggle, feeling the friction between his body and the wet rocks, which made you wince. You stared at Neteyam’s face, his sharp features illuminated by some rays of dim light and his bright tanhì dusted on his cheeks. He smiled maliciously as he released your breasts, licking it one last time before holding hands on your butt, Your breasts pressed against the damp and rough rock, sending you electric shocks all over your body while he pressed his veiled erection on your ass. Your breasts pressed against the moist and rough rock, sending you electric shocks all over your body while he pressed his masculinity on your ass, making you shake your legs. You bit your lip as you felt your intimacy pulsating and becoming increasingly wet, accumulating all the excitement that made you want to have more, to feel more. His fingers slipped on your exposed backside as he admired you bent to ninety just for his pleasure. One of the two hands followed your chills as far as you needed them most, beginning to gently caress your dripping folds. "Oh, you’re so wet for some nipple play? You’re so pretty, yawne. This Aonung wouldn’t let you try it, would he?" He said as he bent over you, talking to your ear, as his fingers rubbed between your folds, playing slightly with your clitoris. He pinched, pulled and stroked it rough while you whimpered with pleasure against the wet rock. "Do you like it? You want more, don’t you baby? I know you want it" He laughed raucously against your ear, while his fingers only played superficially, not entering as you would have liked. "Yes," you whispered in your breath, biting your lip. "Beg me, Tanhì. Show me how much you want it. How much you want me." You blushed at his words. You wouldn’t have begged, you wanted to, but you still cared about dignity, and he realized that. His touch gradually became more absent, as you moved your hips in despair in the hope of hearing more without yielding to his request.

You wince when Neteyam wrapped a hand around your neck, making you bend your back as he carried you slightly closer to him, and then feel his hand slam against your buttock with enough force that you were almost sure it would leave its mark. It didn’t just hurt, you liked it. A submissive moan came out of your lips as you squeezed your eyes holding back some tears. "I said 'beg'. It wasn’t a request, baby. It’s an order" he growled in a tone you found more exciting than he should have. You bit your lip, then decided to fuck off your pride when a second spanking slammed against your ass before being tight. "Please…" you whispered with a thread of voice, meowing because of the spanking, his hard dick still pressed against you and the hand wrapped around your neck that made you feel shivers all over your body. "Beg harder, Yawne. I want to feel it properly" His fingers sank into your skin, your hips, your waist, your neck and your breasts, alternating between the areas to touch. Your whining and pleading was music to his ears, even better than a juicy yovo fruit on a hot day. He wanted to push you to your limit, and in a way, he was taming you for him, making you cry and beg for something he had already decided to give you, just for the sake of feeling you submissive. His hand tightened more around your neck, licking his lips when he heard your words. "Please Neteyam… More." You growled with clenched teeth, you didn’t have the psychophysical strength to resist Neteyam’s bastard games.

"Ma Yawne, I happen to have heard something like 'more'. Be more specific." Neteyam smiled a diabolical smile as he walked away from you, leaving you bent over and needing him. You felt a warmth invade your face, at other times you would be ashamed, but you wanted to feel it inside you. You had a taste of his covered dick against your ass and you wanted to feel it yours, to taste it and use it at your own pace, feeling somehow that his was not like the others. "I guess I have to leave you like this until I get the proper pleading. Without that obnoxious growl, baby" His mocking tone made you shudder as you got back on your feet, slightly wobbly. Neteyam’s masculine scent collided against your nose, sending you into more heat than before, feeling the overwhelming urge to ride it. You approached him and pressed your bare breasts against his chest, as a hand slowly descended along his sculpted abdomen, placing your fingers on the surface of his loincloth. You began to press the cloth down, as its smell made your tail move quickly and your nose curl to accommodate more. "Neteyam. We both know what I want, and so do you" You whispered against his skin, feeling his hot eyes on you. You felt a small gasp when your hand found its way inside the loincloth, caressing the hard flesh that covered so much. "So please… Please. Just do it."

Your gaze met his vibrant golden eyes as he watched you from above, letting you shove him on the sand with a smile, before you sat on his belly and felt the sand scratch against your knees. Neteyam took you from the choker necklace you were wearing and carried you on his lips, replicating the passionate kiss he gave you before taking you away. His bruised hands on your skin as he squeezed the soft, velvety flesh, while only one of yours went into your hair, creating a foothold. You welcomed his warm tongue again, as your heavy breaths mingled in your mouth, leaving some panting while you unhooked the loincloth knot, impatiently removing it. You embraced his hardened dick between your folds, creating only friction without letting it in, feeling it only between your already wet lips. The submissive growl that he left in your mouth made you pant, stimulating a point in your brain that cried out to let him in, to feel him inside you. Your hips kept swaying back and forth as you lubricated the Neteyam muscle with your humors. You felt the pulse of Neteyam’s lateral vein collide with your bundle of nerves and you pounded from the boy’s warm lips to look down, gasping and hissing slightly. You bit your lip as you saw the tiny bioluminescent freckles on his sex, watching as his tip had become slightly reddish, overbearing and angry as precum dripped out due to rubbing against your legs.

Neteyam’s eyes did not come away from you for a second, biting his lip as he watched you almost remain hypnotized by his member and blush almost feeling his mouth. He laughed raucously as he took warm breaths, still feeling you throbbing against his skin, then putting a hand under your chin and stroking your swollen lips, meeting your heavenly eyes. "What’s up, baby? Are you that hungry?" asked in a mocking tone, as he bent his head to the side, letting his pigtails slip over his shoulder. You nodded silently, starting to get drunk of his smell, of his touch. "You can take it. It's all yours." He told you with confidence, noticing how your eyes were pleading. "I don’t…" You blushed when you couldn’t find a way to tell him you’d never had oral sex. The sex among the native Na'vi was more rough, wild and devoid of particularities such as foreplay or the various games that could be played in the process. For this reason it had never occurred to you that a man’s manhood could be taken to other places besides your intimacy. "Baby, have you ever had a blowjob?" He asked bluntly, as he looked for your slightly embarrassed look, immediately realizing that like many other Na'vi he had been with, you had never experienced oral sex. "Oh, you never did…" he said in a mischievous tone as he gripped your hair before leading you down. Now that he knew your mouth were virgin, he felt excited to be the first of all. The idea of having your mouth before anyone else made him particularly happy and his sex, like his tail, seemed to give voice to his pride. "Fine. I’ll teach you how to please me" he said in a low voice.

You started to come down, slowly, savoring every inch of his skin that had a salty aftertaste. Your mouth passed over his chest, falling lower and lower as his hand guided you from his hair. He briefly left you when you arrived on his naked hip, going down with your lips up to his testicles, until he took back the grip in your curly hair and carried you on his sex, ready to be welcomed by your warmth. Your tongue flowed along its entire length, seeking approval in his eyes, seeing him already clench his jaw, making you understand that you had started well. You wrapped its hardness, feeling it already hot and moist, beating against your tongue as its precum pinched the taste buds with a strong and fresh taste. You started to lick the bittersweet liquid as his hand began to make you understand the mechanism of that new game. You made slow movements up and down, enjoying every breathless breath, every hissing and growling softly. His eyes closed as his head bent backwards, noticing the contraction of his abdomen as his tip slowly touched a low point in your throat, and when he felt he had touched your fluffy tonsils he opened his eyes at a snap, letting out a small growl. "Ma Eywa… You’re already so good for me," he said in a gasping voice, intrinsic to pleasure and desire. You watched him enjoy your mouth, unable to stop your thing from slamming into the sand because of the strong excitement that caused you to see it that way.

His golden eyes shone with their own light, slightly darker and tending to green while his gaze became more predatory, thinning as he drove his head at the speed that gave him the most pleasure. You started to take a little more of his hand with the rhythm that he liked and your eyes watered when he hit so far from taking your breath and drooling on his rod, making it reach the peak of pleasure and then bring it down, until he got impatient and raised his hips to make you take his manhood soft in your mouth as much as possible. Starting to fuck your mouth and throat as you let out wet sounds due to friction. You savored it all the way, becoming almost addicted to it, trying to push yourself to where your throat was hurting too, feeling its liquid coming again straight down your throat from how bad it was. His penis getting hotter as it almost seemed to swell in your mouth, making you moan and suck to take as much as possible from his rod. "Look how well you take me, such a beautiful mouth properly used. Maybe that’s how I should shut you up when you get sassy, huh?" He said in a tone full of desire and pleasant, relaxed yet tense because of your eager pumping. Your heart increased your heart rate by accommodating your body’s reaction. You accepted it, your legs heavy as your intimacy became increasingly soggy and eager. You were tense and excited.

It was he who pulled it out of your mouth when he felt he was close, closer than when other people blew him. Your mouth, your moaning and whining had led him to feel high. Completely gone only by your inexperienced but so skillful mouth. It took you out of your hair when it came off, feeling a pop almost like when you pop a bottle and the pressure creates a whistle. "My Eywa, look at you. such a good cocksucker" Your eyes shiny, full of tears while the redness on your cheeks was evident, like the one on your lips that were now swollen and wet with saliva that fell down to your chin. You already missed Neteyam in your mouth, which he noticed just before kissing you, drawing you to him by the necklace again that now looked like a leash and your hair the rope to keep you under his will. &lt; Tamed. > This word rang in your head like a bolt from the blue, becoming strong but superficial. Neteyam’s warm lips could make you feel drunk, influenced by anything he said. The wet, silver sand rubbed against your back when Neteyam blocked you under him, taking him in between your trembling legs, quivering with the desire to feel his member inside you. His mouth went down the line of your jaw, before reaching your ear, where he opened his lips and you felt a smile born on his face. "It wasn’t that hard to tame you, Yawne." You growled faintly at his words, finding a glimmer of clarity that reminded you that you still had some dignity to preserve. " Shh baby, don’t do this now. I just want to see you whine while you ride me just like you did while you ate my dick, hmh?" His tone was a mixture of seriousness, eroticism and teasing. He enjoyed your implicit submission and as you still tried to stick to your pride, he wanted to break you. Your drunken look was enough to keep pushing your buttons to push you over the edge, he wanted to see you lost. Broken. Ruined forever for him. Becoming your biggest addiction so that you don’t want other men besides him.

Neteyam’s mouth began to come down on your neck, leaving mouth-watering kisses on sensitive skin, sucking and biting in places where it would be difficult to hide them. His hand traced the line of your body, making the touch ever lighter as his deep breath struck your neck now wet and branded. Your back arched, wishing to feel more. Eyes opened, as you looked at the stars above you and they seemed so close to you as your body burned under its expert touch. You felt his lips glide over your entire body slowly, causing you chills of pleasure and slight fear, feeling the redness expand on your face. His warm, wet tongue fell back into your navel, his hands shaping your hips, tightening them tightly. He winced when his lips came to your Venus Mountain, not fully understanding where he was going. And then enlightenment. He would play with your intimacy just like you did with him. A thrill of pleasure ran through your body as his mouth walked the path over your sex, feeling once again those jolts hitting the height of your needy clitoris, now swollen and sensitive even just to the sea breeze. His lips embraced the pinnacle of your intimacy, slightly using your teeth, unable to fully understand what he was using because of the gust of heat that clouded your mind. A first subdued moan ran away from your lips as he began to stimulate you, not being able to understand the words he was addressing you, too deaf from that new feeling, managing only to gasp and pant. Jolts of pleasure hit your heavy hips as his hands wrapped around your thighs holding them open to avoid closing spasms that would soon arrive. The touch of his lips on your sex was vivid, you felt the pleasure accumulate with every licking in the wet folds and every eager sucker.

The back arched to the point to hurt, while some pain in the jaw and throat were felt post-fellatio. Your hand found his hair, pulling it slightly as you groaned without shame, stronger than he did and faster. The sound of the waves could no longer censor your cries of pleasure as your free hand squeezed the sand, being bathed by some bolder waves that hit you collaborating with Neteyam’s work. Your eyes were closed, tight as you tried to breathe and let the high ride you, as Neteyam blew and pumped your intimacy mercilessly, gripping your soft thighs as the spasms began. You were afraid that you were feeling so good, not knowing if you were going to make it to the top, never having had this kind of experience. Neteyam ate you rough, drinking your juices and savoring the sweetish taste of your dripping moods trickling down his lips, wetting his chin. He started tickling your entrance with his fingertips, making you angry as you pulled some braids, as if to get him out of there, feeling weak. Neteyam continued his work there, blowing and sucking the air that made you contract the uterus, leaving him amazed and hungry. He swirled his tongue once again over your clitoris, feeling like you were close to reaching the best orgasm of your life. Your hips would unwittingly push against his face as he became more rude and greedy and then feel something in you unlock, and break. You poured yourself on his face, rubbing yourself again on him as Neteyam welcomed your juice into his mouth, satisfied that he had managed to make you come so profusely. You blushed violently as you breathed faster and faster, your chest rose and lowered under the still predatory gaze of Neteyam.

You felt Neteyam’s warm, moist tip press against your still damp intimacy as you took long deep breaths and bit your lip. "Please…" you begged while you were still struggling to breathe because of the orgasm you just had. Neteyam came to look you in the eye, wanted to see the moment when you would break for him. "'Please, what, Ma yawne?" he said in a mocking tone, breathing your sweet smell, mixed with that of pheromones in bloom and your short breath. You closed your eyes turning your face to the side and he pressed between your folds. "I told you to look into my eyes, baby. Tell me what you want," his stern voice made you take your eyes back to his. You breathed deeply as one side of you kept screaming to resist, but that voice was getting so far into your mind as you felt the hot beats of Neteyam. You bit your lip, looking for words. "Just. Please. You know Neteyam…" you whispered while he pressed harder, entering you slightly before going out and sliding your moist lips into your intimacy, not entering. " Shit…"

Neteyam’s smell was intoxicating, like a dangerous drug that made you addicted to every breath or word that made you want more. Close your eyes for a moment, trying to think clearly, basking in the feeling of his sweaty chest pressed against yours. His sex pressed more and more with every damn caress, and when Neteyam’s lips met your neck, he began to torment it with wet and passionate kisses. "Say it, yawnetu… Tell me how much you want me" a kiss. "Let me hear how you feel." Now his tongue was sticking up your neck, making you wince. "You know you want it so badly…" His voice was the poison you couldn’t live without. "Say it and I’ll make you feel every inch of me" now a bite under the jaw, just below the ear. "I’ve already fucked your head, let me do the same where you really need to" He blew the words on your ear, in a sensual and slow tone. You were cracking and he knew it, it was hard to plead once, the second time it wouldn’t be easy. You were afraid to scream like you did before, but you wanted to scream for him, feel him inside pushing and taking over your body. "I know you like this, y/n" you sighed heavily at his words. "The adrenaline, the tension, the jealousy… the fear of being seen while I’m buried between your legs and you moan my name, begging for more. That makes it fun, and it turns you on." Two fingers accompanied his member to press against your clitoris, making you groan and arch your back, as he began to rub slowly. "You know you want me so bad as much as I want you. And I will have you. I will take you here and make you scream like nobody… not even Aonung. So, baby, stop resisting now and ask me." he ordered you, and you broke.

"Please… fuck me." You whispered, looking into his eyes with longing. Pride had left your body, and Neteyam smiled victorious, and then entered you easily, making you wince.

You whined as you felt your sex burn, widening to welcome its warmth. Neteyam kept you pinned against the sand as he began to push his member deep into you with brutal and merciless blows. He would pull back his pelvis and then push his member hard into you, touching your fragility. He kept pushing again and again… relentless, rude and almost savage, making you scream with pleasure at every stroke. A hand wrapped around your throat, stroking it with your thumb as you whimpered and he got excited at every tear of pleasure. "So sweet when you cry for my dick" You prayed that this moment would last as long as you could, feeling perfectly stuck with him. His hoarse groans and growls made you more needy, and every time his tip pressed against your weak spot, you arched your back feeling that you could welcome him better. Suddenly you came back to reality when he bit your lips as he slammed wildly at you, eating every scream or groan as your hands clung to his strong shoulders, scratching them and leaving bruises. His lunges were increasingly fierce, more focused at the point where you felt your excitement increase, as he leaned slightly to you, rubbing your bodies. Your excitement that slid down with every movement, unable to hold back the deep moans that Neteyam caused you, making you shudder. Your wet walls squeezed it and wrapped it with softness, allowing him to hit you deeper and deeper with more decisive strokes, until you felt close to orgasm again. You swear as Neteyam came out of you, leaving you a gap that was hard to fill except with him.

He took you from your hips after sitting, and placed you on him, clutching your soft flesh. You immediately sat on him, welcoming him back into you as you rode the high of both, your hands on his shoulders as your mouth left bites and hickeys on his neck, continuing to scratch his skin. Neteyam’s hands wrapped around your breast and ass, holding both with possession and desire, leaving some well-poised spanking that made you moan and sway more over him, feeling pleasure in his delicate ways. You felt heavy above him and you could get him to hit deep, moving to the places you most needed while some of his fingers slipped over your clitoris to stimulate him as you moved spasmodically. You leaned slightly backwards as you slammed your hips on him, feeling his tail wrap around your leg, squeezing it as he continued his movements to make you orgasm once more. You felt the heavy legs and the rest of the light body, following the rhythm you had decided, only managing to groan above him, whining about having more, as if you were not in charge in that position. He admired you, your body, as you sweated in pleasure, your whining and those drops of dew that bathed you the tanhì. He thought while you were grinding his dick.

At one point you could feel your body slipping out of your hands, and for a moment you lost touch with what was around you, the surging waves in the background, the hoarse groans and grunts, the wet beach and the moonlight illuminating your bodies. You arrived at your second orgasm, feeling your mind free, your muscles relaxed and a strong pleasure and well-being invading every inch of your body. Your movements did not stop, continuing to ride him, wanting to feel him inside you to the last, Applying his manhood as he had appropriated you. He squeezed your breasts, continuing to play with your clit, growling softly "Yawne… if you keep this up-" he whispered before being stopped by you. Your blushed face, swollen lips, and delicate scent had left him speechless even before you shut him up. "Shut the fuck up." You growled as you lowered your head, gripped by impetus and lust, continuing your rapid movements, squeezing your walls around him as his hands left bruises and scratches on your hips, guiding you on your high until it came inside you. His cum was hot inside you, filling you up until you almost feel stuffed. His orgasm was stronger than yours, his voice was hoarse in the groan he released, holding you to him.

You let yourself go on his chest, leaving his member buried in you as your moods mingled and descended upon your bodies. You closed your eyes as you took long breaths and still felt chills and spasms running through your body because of the orgasm you just had. Neteyam’s hand went up your back and then stroked your hair, leaving you to rest exhausted on him. "You were great, ma yawne" he said, leaving a kiss on your head, stroking your curls and smiling satisfied as he looked at your body full of his marks. You were his. "Is that what you say to everyone?" You answered, as you snuggled in need of affection, looking for his sweet touch. "No, that’s what I say to you. You are mine, these are words only for you, yawnetu." He said, lifting your face, leaving kisses on your face. "And after tonight, so will the Skxawngs looking at you. You’re my property." He said looking you in the eye, making you nod. You were still drunk from the double orgasm, from the fact that his cock was still inside you and from his grip. You were broken, in fact, it was always you, but without that pride you had. He tamed you, now you belonged to him and he belonged to you, he knew it. "Baby, I swear. Try what you did tonight again, and I won’t go easy on you like today" You opened your eyes, looking in disbelief. "Easy?! This seemed to you to 'go esay'?!" you gasps as you noticed his sneering smile, his hand caressing your face as you blush. "Aw, baby. Did you think this was my best?" He approached your ear, licking it slightly, making you feel shivers down your back. "That’s not even half of what you’re gonna feel with me."

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Notes II:

Idk, but I liked writing this One shot, I think I’m slightly improving the smuts skills and I’m so happy about it. I hope you enjoyed reading <3

-Mel

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TAG LIST : @riatesullironalite @shadowmoonlight0604

[damn-stark]

Chapter 1 Golden girl

Chapter 1 of Moonlight

A/N- The parallels between young Rhaenyra and y/n!! The parallels between young Rhaenyra and y/n!! Anyway, I really hope you guys like this new series. I'm really excited to share it with all of you!

Warning- Swearing, Aegon, FLUFF, LONG CHAPTER.

Pairing- Aemond Targaryen x Velaryon-Targaryen!fem-reader, Cregan Stark x Velaryon-Targaryen!fem-reader

Episode- 1x06

(If you want to be tagged let me know)

————

A lot of stuff is often restricted to you, like training with swords, sparring, strolling too far alone, and flying far and wide on dragonback. You’re often told what you can’t do and what you can do. You’re told how to behave. And the pressure is never as hard on the boys as it is on you. That’s why you find simple pleasures, and oftentimes they’re secret…at least until your mother figures it out.

Like now, for example, you’re told you can’t swim in the ocean without supervision, but you’re old, and you’re a stronger swimmer. You have confidence in yourself so you dive in the gleaming blue waters and swim blissfully.

You don’t swim too far down, but you swim deep enough to watch in awe as a school of fishes find themselves swimming around you.

You smile at the crabs that crawl away into hiding, you find comfort in the ocean waters embrace, and find yourself tempted when you spot a small spiked shell on the ocean floor.

You don’t know if you should keep your dragon worried and swim down to collect it or swim up to finally leave…

Hm.

Well your grandfather does like to keep what you collect, and you don’t find the necessity to catch your breath yet, so with some strong kicks, you swim down and snatch the shell.

After you secured it you finally decide to swim up to the surface, noticing your dragon halfway in the water as she anticipated your arrival.

“Relax,” you reassure her as you show off the shell. “I wasn’t gone long.”

You admire the shell now that you’re standing on firm sand and can’t help but smile as you admire all the delicate designs.

So intricate and amazing. How can something so small be made?

Your grandfather will be pleased.

“Come on,” you tell your dragon watching you carefully. “Let’s go to mother.”

First, though you dry yourself and shimmy on your dress you had taken off so it wouldn’t get wet. Your hair will—well it’ll dry enough when you’re in the air, so you leave it and quickly climb on your dragon, finding more peace in the calm sky on the back of your beautiful soulmate.

It’s really just perfect, that’s how you’d describe this moment, soaring the white fluffy clouds hundreds of feet off the ground. The chilly breeze sweeping past you with all its might, and the bright shining sun kissing your skin with its warm rays of light.

If you had the choice to just fly all your life without consequence it’s something you’d take it. No royal duties, no man to marry, just your dragon; Astraea, and you flying around the world. That’d be truly perfect.

Alas, much to your misfortune you have to get your head out of the clouds and descend back down to the ground. You have to hop off your dragons back and face life, and responsibilities.

“Princess,” one of your handmaidens interjects at the exact moment your feet hit the ground. “Your mother has given birth.”

You immediately grin with glee and don’t fret to approach the handmaiden whilst you take off your glove from the top of the fingertips with your teeth. “What is it?” You ask in a muffled voice.

“A boy,” the Handmaiden shares.

Another brother…tsk.

Well, he’s here now so there’s no use being upset by not having a sister. Yet again.

“What excellent news,” you rejoice, and peer back at your dragon with a soft smile

Astraea looks back at the same time so you meet her gaze and can’t help but only grin wider as you catch how the sunlight bounces off her purple scales.

Yet the joy is short-lived because you then hear your name uttered by an annoying individual. “Sweetling,” he purrs.

You sigh and roll your eyes to look at the boy, catching your uncle Aegon approaching the dragonpit with a stupid grin on his face.

“I hope your flight was a pleasant one,” he says as he keeps approaching you.

You feign a smile and nod. “It was,” you deadpan and quickly escape to your carriage that’s going to take you home. But first, you greet your other uncle. “Hello, Aemond.”

Unlike Aegon, Aemond isn’t much older than you, he just beats you by a year. And! He, unlike Aegon, is much nicer and respectful, making him your favorite.

“Hello,” Aemond greets you back with a shy wave.

You shoot him a genuine smile and then stop in your tracks to add, “you know, Astraea is almost big enough to saddle two. Perhaps when she is at the right size and you have yet to find a dragon, you can ride with me.”

Aegon scoffs beside his younger brother, but Aemond straightens up and lets his gaze linger before he sighs and responds. “We’ll see.”

You grin and nod. “We will. Now excuse me, I have to see my mother.” You take your first step up to your carriage, but Aegon takes his chance to cut in again.

“Perhaps later we can take a stroll around the gardens? Find ourselves down by the—”

“No Aegon,” you cut him off without shame and don’t even bother to look at him, you just walk into your carriage and slam the door shut.

Thereafter the carriage is ridden through the grande city that is your home, past buildings getting constructed, past workers, and people wandering the dirt streets. You pass visitors strolling through the streets, you pass by different shops that contain some of the same things or completely different things. You pass families that make you wonder what it would be like if you were like one of them, a civilian worried just about living, someone who does not need to question why it is that your younger brother Jacaerys gets to be your mother's heir and not you, her eldest child.

Is it really because you’re a woman? She is one too and she still is going to ascend the throne after your grandfather.

Your father says it’s because your mother doesn’t want to burden you with what she’s forced to now carry. But you don’t really believe it, who knows the truth as to why she didn’t choose you.

Because you’re simply not her favorite? Because you don’t look like your brothers? Because you don’t have brown hair like them, or white skin like theirs because yours more so matches your father's? Because your hair is white like his? And hers?

Why is what you ask yourself all the time.

Sometimes…you wish you would’ve been born a bastard, maybe then you would have inherited the throne.

Regardless, you never ask her, nor will you ever do so.

You never let her see your affliction either, you push it back, always. Like now for example, before you go see her you change out of your riding clothes and wear a lilac-colored gown; with that new change, pushing all your concerns away and putting on a smile that she likes to see on you before knocking on her door.

“Come in,” you hear her voice welcome you in.

You open the door and slowly poke your head inside, catching Ser Harwin inside handing the little newborn babe to your mother.

“Ah, my sweet,” your mother greets and immediately finds the difference in your hair. Yet she doesn’t comment on anything yet. She lets you beam at her and make a beeline toward her now holding the babe on the couch.

“Princess,” you hear Ser Harwin greet from behind you.

You pull your eyes away from the sleeping baby and throw him a mindless greeting. “Hello, Ser Harwin.” You then quickly focus back on your brother and greet him softly. “Hello, you.”

Your mother smiles softly and then looks up at you. “My sweet, meet your brother, Joffrey.”

What an unusual name for him, but he does look like a Joffrey, so you don’t question it.

“You wish to hold him?” She asks you.

You meet her gaze and nod before you reach over so she won’t strain herself, and carefully cradle him in your arms. “Hi,” you greet him again, this time in a softer voice. “I’m your sister.” You giggle softly and look over at your mother. “He’s so adorable and so small.”

“Yes,” she agrees. “Smallest one out of your brothers, and you.”

You hum and shift around slowly, but keep your eyes on him, noticing the small brown hairs on his head. You then steal a glance up at the bulky knight watching you sway the babe and take note that Joffrey also inherited his features…making it another secret to keep.

“I’ll be taking my leave now,” Ser Harwin interjects.

You keep quiet and hear your mother simply hum in response before he walks out of the room, leaving your mother, Joffrey, and you alone.

“Do you need anything mother?” You ask her and meet her gaze. “More water? Food? A pillow?”

Your mother shakes her head. “No, I’m quite content right now. Thank you.”

You take this time now to slowly sit down beside her and make sure to keep swaying the babe so he won't wake.

“You stink of dragon, and salt,” your mother points out. “I thought I told you that you couldn’t go swimming so far. No one can see you from so far.”

You pass her an assuring look and rebuttal. “Astraea is watching me.”

Your mother sighs deeply and shakes her head. “She may not be able to do anything if you drown in deep waters. I won’t be able to do anything if you drown so far away. The currents are strong.”

You bat your lashes so you can get your way. “But grandfather says some of the oldest things lie in the ocean. I just want to see.” You smile at her innocently. And since your mother doesn't have the energy to keep arguing she points out something else.

“I assume you were out flying as well?”

“Yes, but I finished my teachings early so I had time,” you immediately explain to her.

Your mother hums. “Well I hope so, the Septa always likes to complain that you never pay attention.”

You roll your eyes and meet hers. “Well maybe if she didn’t talk so slowly then I’d actually enjoy what she has to teach,” you counter, making your mother laugh.

“Yes, her voice is quite irritating, but I just want you to pay attention to your teachings, okay?” She says.

You let out a soft sigh and nod in agreement. “I’ll try, but if Astraea needs me I simply cannot refuse her.” You look back at your sleeping baby brother and feel your smile soften. “I cannot wait to have a babe of my own.”

“Really?” Your mother questions. “When I was your age all I wanted to do was fly, be with my friends, and dream. I hated the thought of having children.”

You smile as your interest piques and can't help but meet your mother's soft gaze. “Really?” You probe excitedly.

Your mother nods. “Yes, but that all changed when I found out I was having you,” she adds and gently nudges your arm.

You mirror her smile and turn to hand her back the babe so you can be on your feet once more. “Well, I do still want to fly around the world. That would be great,” you tell her and walk around her to stop behind her. “Discover new places. See new waters. Different people.” You draw out a soft breath and pick up her long silver-gold hair to begin braiding it in the way Queen Visenya would wear hers.

“That sounds nice,” your mother goes along with your silly dream. “Perhaps you’ll be like Princess Nymeria.”

The corner of your lips pull to a smirk.

“Yet,” your mother adds on. “How can you voyage the world without finishing any of your teachings? A sailor needs knowledge to read maps for example.”

You roll your eyes and feign a laugh. “Oh haha. Well, I can be like a pirate, or I could travel with my father and have him do all the work.”

Your mother chuckles and nods in agreement. “I bet he would like the idea of being out at sea.”

You hum softly, and then pause after you knit a strand of her hair with the other as you fall serious. “But really, what will I do? I mean…what will be of my life? Queen Alicent says I’m almost at the right age to be married off. Will I have to leave you and be matched to some pampered Lord who just locks me away?”

A deep breath escapes your mother as if ready with a response, but she remains quiet for a moment before she pats the empty space you had sat on before.

You, of course, don’t hesitate and let her hair fall on her back before you take the seat beside her once again.

“I know what it is to want to just hop on your dragon and fly off,” she begins to say whilst she shifts in her seat to try and be closer to you. “I understand what you feel. It’s normal to feel so, but I’ll tell you now something your grandmother Aemma told me when I was young.” She manages to cup your cheek, causing you to draw out a soft breath. “We have royal wombs you and I, my sweet, it is how we serve the realm.” She then presses her forehead against yours, making you smile softly and find comfort in her gesture.

“Besides, you are my daughter,” she adds with a growing smug smile. “You descend from the greatest line, you are the granddaughter of one of the greatest voyagers. I assure you that you won’t sit and do nothing, I promise.”

You mirror her smug smile and with all the trust in the world, you nod in comprehension.

“And,” she continues. “With luck, you won’t be sent far at all.”

You pull back and look at her with a pointed glare. “I don’t want to marry Aegon. I’d rather be sent to the wall than be married to him.”

Your mother chuckles and shakes her head. “Gods no,” she assures you, letting you let out a relieved sigh and lay your head on her shoulder.

“Someone else,” she gives your heart comfort. “I’ll find a match who deserves you, don’t worry,” she whispers and lays her head on yours. “I’ll take care of you. I’ll make sure you have a good life.”

——

*LATER*

Most nights, when rain doesn’t fall from the sky, when the clouds don’t cover the stars you like to sneak out of bed and climb up castle towers to watch the stars with the desire for more.

You like to feel the wind and pretend you’re far away, somewhere lost in the sky, or somewhere in the ocean. You like to breathe in the fresh air that hits the towers and watch those few people below walk the streets or just the simple castle grounds. There are some nights when Aemond joins you, not a lot, but it is always him and no one else.

And it seems that tonight is one of those nights.

“Aemond,” you call with glee.

Said boy carefully and quietly climbs up the roof to sit beside you.

“I didn’t think you’d make it tonight,” you point out.

Aemond shrugs softly. “I couldn't find sleep. I knew you’d be here so I thought I could at least pass time.”

You smile softly and nod in comprehension before you glance at the sky again. You sit in silence and find comfort in it, he's always someone that you can find comfort in. Without Baela and Rhaena here he's your only best friend, someone you can confide in since it’s different with your brothers since they are young—maybe once they’re older you can behave like friends too and not just like the squabbling siblings you are.

“Do you think,” you begin to ask him out of fear even after your mother's attempt at comfort. “I’ll be sent away?”

Aemond pulls his gaze away from the sky and looks at you whilst you keep your eyes on the stars.

“What do you mean?” He asks.

You sigh and blink to look down. “I mean…I’m almost at the age to get married. Since I won’t inherit the throne or Driftmark, I’ll probably be married off to someone far from here.”

Aemond nods and follows your line of gaze. He’s unable to find something to say for a moment, but it then occurs to him. “We could get married. That way you’d stay here.”

You drift your eyes to him and muster a small soft smile. “We could,” you whisper in relief and feel your smile widen at the thought, but it soon begins to fade as doubt once again overtakes you. “But if we don’t would you run away with me?”

Aemond hesitates and then shrugs. “I don’t know,” he says honestly. “We have our duties here.”

Your smile completely disappears at his answer, and your gaze drops to your fiddling fingers. “I’d run away with you if you asked,” you mutter and rest your elbows on your knees to rest your chin on your palms. “We could ride Astraea and fly far away.”

“Be what?” Aemond queries.

You shrug. “Whoever we want,” you throw out as if it wasn't obvious. “Pirates. Rich lords. Dragon riders that discover new lands.”

Aemond scoffs. “I don’t have a dragon.”

You look over at him and nudge his arm. “You’ll have one. I know it. There are still many that are unclaimed, my mother says they rest at Dragonstone.”

Aemond meets your gaze and his lips tug to a smile. “If I asked you to fly me there would you?”

You smirk and nod. “Of course!” You sit up to stand on your feet. “Who’d be laughing then, huh?” You try to comfort his own insecurities. “Aegon. That’s who.”

You twirl around and then reach the top of the roof to begin balancing on it as you slowly walk on it. “There’s Sheepstealer, Greyghost, Silverwing, Vermithor, and the scariest of them all, Cannibal!” You exclaim and jump around, causing Aemond to reach his hands out in case you fell.

“Stop that,” he snaps at you while he follows behind you. “You’ll fall.”

You chuckle and turn around again to keep balancing on the top of the roof. “Who would you pick?” You ask.

Aemond hums for a second before he answers with slight excitement. “Vermithor, beside Vhagar, Vermithor is one the largest.”

You peer back and shoot him a smile. “Nice. I’d still win you in a race though.”

Aemond smirks. “Vermithor is larger, he has more experience as well.” He says smugly.

“But Astraea is smaller, not so heavy,” you quickly rebuttal. “So her weight wouldn’t slow her down.”

Aemond playfully rolls his eyes. “I guess we’ll see,” he plays along and then pushes you forward very gently, causing you to stop in your tracks to turn and try to push him, but he steps back with a laugh.

You giggle in response and try to move ahead, but at that moment you catch a glimpse of your father Laenor standing on a balcony below all alone.

“What is it?” Aemond asks as he notices your smile fall.

You lean your head forward to get a better view, catching your father reading a letter. “It’s my father,” you whisper.

Aemond carefully falls beside you and looks out as well to see what you’re seeing.

“Come on,” you urge Aemond and grab his hand to lead him back inside through the window you had climbed out of.

When you're in the safety of the hall you come to a stop and hold your breaths to listen for approaching servants or guards. When you hear no footsteps, or metal clinking against each other you breathe out, and then lead Aemond down the stairs. He makes sure not to let go so he won’t fall behind, or so he can quickly stop you if he hears someone approaching.

It’s only until you approach the door that leads out to the balcony your father is on that Aemond pulls his hand out of your grasp, causing you to turn and face him with a puzzled look.

“Go,” he encourages you. “I’ll go back to my chambers.”

Your eyebrows slowly furrow. “Are you sure? You could join us.” You let him know kindly.

Aemond shakes his head. “It’s okay, he’s your father.”

“My father won’t get us in trouble for being awake so late,” you try to assure him.

But Aemond remains insistent. “It’s quite alright. I’ll see you on the morrow.”

You don’t try and fight him anymore and nod in agreement.

“Goodnight,” he says softly, matching a small soft smile with his words.

You shoot him a sweet smile in return. “Goodnight, Aemond.” You then turn and join your father out on the balcony.

Albeit he doesn’t turn when he hears the door close, so you call out to him softly. “Father?”

Said man lifts his head and peers back. When he realizes it’s you he blinks in slight shock whilst a smile tugs on his lips. “What are you doing here? It's late.”

You make your way to him and shrug. “I couldn’t sleep. And I…saw you down here alone so I wanted to keep you company.”

Rather than countering with disapproval, your father begins to smile. “You were on the roofs weren’t you?” He knows you too well.

Still, you act shocked and clueless, but he sees through you.

“You gave it away when you said “down here”, and you’re fiddling with your fingers.”

You look down and catch your involuntary act and stop right away whilst you stop beside him against the railing.

“I hope you remember what your mother says about being up there,” your father continues with a more strict tone.

“Well,” you quip innocently. “She won’t know if she doesn’t find out.”

Your father scoffs in amusement as his smile widens. “Alright. As long as you're careful though. Okay?”

You rest your hands on the stone railing and nod. “Always,” you assure him.

He hums and then looks ahead, causing his smile to fall and your curiosity to heighten. “Are you okay, father?”

Said man blinks in disbelief at your question. You’ve worried about him before, you, perhaps more than the other children. And that can be because you’re older and understand more, or because you are his only legitimate child. Whatever the reason, you were the closest to him out of the other two kids.

“I just miss my sister,” your father admits.

You hum softly and look up to the starry sky. “I know,” you begin to add softly. “Perhaps it’s not the same, but I miss my cousins Baela and Rhaena too. And when I do, I find comfort in gazing at the sky. I watch the stars and the moon and know that even if they’re far away, we’re still close in some way because regardless of distance, we all look up at the same sky, we all live under the same stars.”

You flicker your eyes to your father and catch a gleam in his eyes while a tender smile paints his face.

“That’s good,” he says softly and reaches over to pat your shoulder. “I’ve never thought of it that way.”

You mirror his smile and look up at the sky. He follows your line of gaze and smiles wider.

“Thank you,” he whispers to the stars.

You look over at him and offer him a sweet grin. “Of course. Now,” you roll out and lean back as you grip onto the railing. “Serious question.”

Your father scoffs softly and probes. “Okay. Share.”

“If I asked you to take me voyaging, would you?” You ask, and turn on your heels to face him excitedly.

“Voyaging?” He questions.

You nod eagerly. “Yes!” You exclaim. “Voyaging. You could teach me how to sail. I’ve asked my grandfather Corlys, but he says I should instead learn how to sew correctly.” You huff.

Your father chuckles softly. “You are terrible.”

You pout. “Well there are better things to do,” you grumble and roll your eyes. “Besides, the Septa is such a prude—Anway…we wouldn't even have to go far, just maybe across the narrow sea?” You bat your lashes so you can try and pursue him more effectively.

“Well,” your father sighs. “I don’t know how your mother would feel about that, but I can tell you one thing, I can teach you how to sail.”

Your eyes widen with joy. “Really?!” You lean forward and grab his arm. “You really mean it father?”

His smirk turns slightly smug and he nods. “I could.”

You squeal and turn to hook your arm around his. “And then you’d teach me how to wield a sword?”

Your father begins to walk you back inside whilst he answers. “Depends how well you master sailing.”

“Alright,” you nod. “Alright, I can accept that.”

“Can you accept going to bed?” Your father rebuttals with a joke. “The hour is late.”

“Hm, I suppose I could. So when will our first lesson be?” You press.

Your father meets your gaze and matches your smirk. “I’ll let you know.”

You smile and nod with contentment.

——

*THE NEXT DAY*

Soft thrashes echo around the courtyard as your brothers Lucerys and Jacaerys, and uncles Aegon and Aemond train against straw men.

You aren’t really allowed to be watching them, the Septa says that it’s a waste of time, “you’re a Princess.” she says.

Pft, it’s boring going to lessons, besides, you learn far more by watching the boys swing their swords. You like to memorize them and then mirror those same actions at night when you can practice with a wooden sword you stole.

“Soften your knees,” you hear Ser Criston tell Aemond. “Feet light. Keep your feet light and your hands heavy.”

You drop your eyes to Aemond’s feet and proceed to shift your own feet to mirror his stance. He then moves on so you look over at Aegon and watch him swing his sword, but he gets distracted by passing servants so you roll your eyes and focus on Jace.

However, you then get interrupted. “Princess, how are lessons today?”

You jump, and when you peer back you see the friendly face of Ser Harwin walking past you.

Luckily it's not the Septa.

“I suppose well,” you sigh and shrug. “Ser Criston as always picks favorites.”

The knight hums and stops to turn and face you hidden under the shadows. “As always,” Ser Harwin agrees. “Where are you meant to be really?”

You begin to smirk. “Going to study High Valyrian, but I know it well, so I chose to take the long way there.”

Ser Harwin chuckles softly. “Alright, well keep your head low, you know how Ser Criston gets.”

You shoot him a happy smile and nod eagerly. The knight then walks away and joins the men in the courtyard, leaving you in your hiding spot like always. He never minds you secretly watching from the shadows, he's nice that way. Ser Criston on the other hand, “this is no place for a lady. Go.”

He’s such a prude too, he’s also an asshole to your brothers, and to Ser Harwin. Sometimes you wish to just stick a metal sword through his throat so he can shut up.

“…Let’s see if you can touch me,” you hear that same man say as you focus back on the courtyard. “You and your brother.”

You snicker and lift your head up higher to get a better view as Aegon and Aemond begin to fight against Ser Criston. And yes even though he’s an asshole, he’s still an impressive swordsman, you’ve learned a lot from watching him.

It’s also funny seeing him beat Aegon and Aemond.

“Ah,” Ser Harwin interjects. “Weapons up boys. Give your enemies no quarter.”

Ser Criston notices Ser Harwin, and leaves Aemond and Aegon defeated to slowly make his way to Ser Harwin.

“It seems the younger boys could do better with a bit of your attention…Ser Criston.”

Right!

“You question my method of—”

“Ah, young lady there you are!”

Seven Hells!

You jump away from your spot and spin around to face your Septa striding towards you with discontent and judgment.

“I’ve just lost my way,” you lie and begin to head back inside before she can pull your ear. “I was heading to lessons.”

Her footsteps follow you and she quickly counters back immediately. “No, you’ll go to your mother, she’ll know about your wrongdoings.”

Thank the gods! She never punishes you like she tells the Septa she will.

“Hello there sweet niece!”

Seven Hells…

You narrow your gaze and frown with disgust before you look over your shoulder and shoot Aegon a scowl.

He chuckles like always because he thinks it’s some game.

As if.

“Young lady,” the Septa begins to scold you as she quickens her pace to reach you. “He is the prince and your uncle. That is rude, and not ladylike whatsoever. Turn around and greet him back.”

You draw in a deep and annoyed breath and stop in your tracks to turn around. He’s already looking at you and so is Aemond. “Good Morrow, uncle Aegon,” you greet him with a monotone voice.

Aegon snickers and Aemond joins in this time. You’d counter, but the Septa would only scold you again, so you pick up the side of your skirt to just turn on your heels and walk back inside.

Once you reach your mother's chambers you’re relieved to see her, but the Septa walks in and snitches.

“Princess Rhaenyra, I found the Princess at the training yard once again, watching the boys train instead of attending her lessons. Something must be done about her wild behavior, it is not ladylike.”

Since you have your back turned to her you begin to smirk with pride.

“Ah,” your mother answers, “I’m sorry, Septa. I’ll have a word with her immediately, thank you for bringing the issue to my attention.”

The Septa hums in agreement before she excuses herself and leaves, letting you swipe the book off the table to turn and walk over to your mother to give her a hello kiss on the cheek before you turn your attention to your one-day-old brother. “Good Morrow, Joffrey, it’s so nice to see you.”

“If anyone asks, say I…” your mother trails off as you sit by her and open the book. “I kept you from flying for a week.”

You giggle and nod as you turn the pages. “Okay.”

“How are they doing?” She refers to your brothers.

“Uh, Ser Criston as always ignores them, but Ser Harwin just joined them so they should finally begin to learn more,” you share. “How are you feeling?” You ask and look at her with concern.

Your mother glances at your brother wide awake and staring at her before she gives you an answer. “I’m quite in pain today, the milk is quite uncomfortable.”

You frown since you can’t do anything to help her. The only thing you can offer her are words and attempts at some kind of aid. “I’m sorry,” you mumble. “Is there anything I can do?”

Your mother meets your gaze and begins to smile softly. “No.” She shakes her head. “I’m quite fine. The girls should be here soon.”

Regardless of what she said you put the book down and walk over to the small table by the door to pour some water for her.

“I was thinking,” your mother interjects. “How would you like to accompany me when I attend the small council meetings? You could serve wine, as I did once.”

You meet her gaze with a slightly shocked look. “Really?” You ask as you walk back to her. “You mean it?”

Your mother nods. “Of course. They’re quite dreadful sometimes, but you want to be more involved so that should help.”

Your smile widens as you turn giddy. “Well, I would really love that. I think it’s a swell idea. Thank you, mother.”

Your mother offers you a happy smile and watches you move a small table closer to her so it’s easier to grab the water while she’s holding Joffrey.

“Thank you, my sweet girl,” she thanks you and caresses your hand as you join her back on the couch. “Now, would you read to me? I wouldn’t like you to fall behind on your Valyrian.”

This time without fuss you open the book back up and begin reading the words written on the pages. There’s a lot you know already, it’s just some pronunciation that you can’t get right at times, but your mother does offer her support so it makes it easier.

Not so soon after albeit, the Wetnurse comes so she steals her attention away, and since the topic isn’t as attention seeking to you, you keep reading.

That is until one of her handmaidens walks in looking quite distressed. “Princess.”

You lower your book to your lap and listen intently.

“There’s been an incident in the yard. Ser Harwin got in a fight with Ser Criston after an argument broke.”

You swallow thickly and quickly snap your eyes to your mother, noticing her smile had fallen and her gaze lost its happy gleam.

“Okay, thank you,” your mother directs at her handmaiden before she stands up and hands Joffrey to the Wet Nurse. “Do as I said.”

The Wetnurse leaves and your mother turns to face you. “You can stay here if it pleases you, my sweet, I’ll be back,” she says.

Without questioning her antics you nod to assure her and choose to stay in her chambers as she leaves through a secret door she has in her room; one reason being you really didn’t want to go to your room, and two, well you're curious to know what happened.

However, you might have an idea as to what led to that fight. Ser Criston probably provoked Ser Harwin with insinuations about your brothers. That’s the only reason why you’d think Ser Harwin would risk his position and hit a member of the Kingsguard.

But then again, Ser Criston deserves to get hit, he’s a dick. Yes hitting him probably only adds fire to the rumors about your brothers and Ser Harwin, but no one knows how insufferable Ser Criston is to your brothers, you, or your mother. He doesn’t say anything, but he doesn’t have to, his dirty looks, and his cold shoulder when he shows kindness to Aegon, Aemond, Helaena, and Queen Alicent is enough to let you know he doesn’t like either of you.

Who knows why?

Regardless, your mother returns shortly after with an even more glum look painted on her face, meaning she overheard nothing good.

“To ease the pain, Princess,” her handmaiden lets her know as she rinses the cloth.

Your mother remains quiet and lets the handmaiden help her, whilst she now breaks her silence to speak to you. “Why don’t you keep reading to me, yes? You were doing so good.”

“Okay.” You give in to do as she says without probing, even if you’re dying to know what she heard, and even as singing begins to echo out in the hall, getting louder and louder, and also recognizable as the people get closer.

The moment you know it’s your father and his…Paramour, singing, you pause and end up sharing a knowing glance with your mother before the doors open and your father stumbles in with Ser Qarl.

“My dear wife,” your father greets with a chuckle. “My beautiful daughter.”

You look over at the man and offer him a sweet smile, noticing that he in fact is drunk; you can tell by his happy smile and his unbuttoned coat.

“Princess,” Ser Qarl greets your mother and then looks over at you. “Princess.”

“Hello, Ser Qarl,” you greet back, and then leave your book as you stand up since going off by the hardened look on your mother's face, what follows seems private and unpleasant.

“Oh…I fell down,” your father interjects and then snickers.

Yeah, he’s incredibly drunk. Again.

“I’m going to check on my brothers,” you let your mother know before you press a kiss on her cheek.

“Okay,” she answers and returns a kiss to your cheek. You then walk over to the door and stop by your father.

“Bye father,” you say with a smile regardless of his current state.

“Oh you’re leaving,” he counters and grabs your arm. “Why don’t you stay?” He turns to face your mother and then looks at Ser Qarl. “You should have heard what she told me last night. It was the sweetest thing.”

You grab his arm to gently slide your arm from his grasp. “I’m going to check on the boys, father, really,” you cut him off and go on your tiptoes to press a peck on his cheek. “Goodbye.”

“I’ll see you later then, my darling,” he doesn’t argue—or he just doesn’t have the right mind right now to try. Which benefits you, he’s drunk, he gets quite annoying when he’s so drunk so it’s good he didn’t insist.

Yet the curiosity in you does want you to stay back and listen to what your mother was going to tell him—but no, you can’t. Besides, she probably would’ve told you to leave either way….

That doesn’t mean you can’t just snoop.

No, you can’t. You’ll know soon. You can’t give in to temptation even if it’s killing you. You can’t!

——

*SOMETIME LATER*

“…It is Lord Blackwood’s contention, therefore, that the Brackens moved the boundary stones in the dead of the night and put their horses to graze in his field.”

Okay, yes, the excitement of accompanying your mother to these small council meetings has quickly washed away. All they do is talk and talk over insignificant matters.

“Why was this issue not brought before Lord Grover?” Queen Alicent asks. “Has he grown so feeble he cannot settle a quarrel over rocks?”

The Lords and others have stopped asking for wine halfway through this damned meeting, making for a dull wait.

“I’ve heard a tale that Lord Grover’s son now rules Riverrun in all but name,” a Lord adds.

“Well, he is also a Tully and this remains a Tully problem,” Alicent says.

“I would agree,” your grandfather interjects, letting Lord Tyland now cut in.

“If we may move on, my lords—”

“And yet,” your mother cuts him off, continuing with the previous matter. “The Brackens and the Blackwoods will use any excuse to spill each other's blood. So this dispute bears looking into. There will be countryfolk who know where the lines have been drawn for generations.”

“That is easy enough,” the Lord Hand agrees, causing Queen Alicent to scoff quietly in disagreement.

“Of course.” She shakes her head and takes a sip of wine with that same bitchy attitude she always bestows your mother, you, and your siblings. She doesn’t try to hide it either, making for yet someone else you dislike.

“Ser Tyland,” the Hand returns to his matter.

“Uh, we should address the latest developments in the Stepstones, my Lords.”

Your grandfather groans and comments with discontent. “Will we ever be shut of that blasted place?”

“If you ask me, I think the Blackwoods have the upper hand,” Lord Beesbury randomly cuts in with a topic already dealt with.

“We’ve moved on to the Stepstones, Lord Beesbury,” the Maester informs the old lord, causing you to look over at your mother to meet her gaze and share an amused look you quickly hide.

“And the Triarchy’s new alliance with Dorne,” Ser Tyland adds and makes sure to say it loud enough so Lord Beesbury can hear, only making you drop your head to hide your stifled smile.

“I was hoping our negotiations with Sunspear might persuade them to see reason,” your grandfather adds before coughing into his cloth. “To trust a Martell is to be disappointed.”

“And where, I wonder, is our Prince Daemon?” A lord asks. “Or I suppose I should call him King, as he styled himself when he won a battle there…once.”

You see the man smirk faintly as he fills with pride at his own comment only because the man he speaks of isn’t here. You’ve heard of his, uh, rash behavior, so you’d like to hear the Lord dare say the same thing with your uncle here.

He wouldn’t.

“…we have left it undefended,” you focus back on the conversation as your mother speaks. “There should’ve been fortifications built, watchtowers, a fleet of ships, a garrison of soldiers sent to hold our ground.”

“We cannot afford it,” Alicent counters. “Our coffers are great, but not infinite. We must consider the cost to our subjects.”

“I must agree—”

“The cost of war is greater,” your mother cuts Lord Beesbury off. “But we have been lax and the old monster now lifts its head.”

You drift your gaze to Alicent to wait for what she’d respond with, but a second of silence passes as she just glowers at your mother before she responds with ignorance. “Let us be finished.”

“Yes,” your grandfather breathes out with exhaustion, letting the other lords get up.

Albeit your mother stays seated and continues the meeting as everyone is out of their seats. “Wait. I wish to speak.”

You blink in confusion and focus on her as everyone except Alicent sits back down, and she continues.

“I have felt the…strife…” your mother begins to say. “Between our families of late, my Queen. And for any offense given by mine, I apologize. But we are one house. And long before that, we were friends.”

You glance at Alicent and see her expression has not softened whatsoever, she remains shooting glares and looking uninterested in what your mother has to say.

“My son Jacaerys will inherit the Iron Throne after me,” your mother adds, making you look down at your hands clasped together and sigh softly with…uneasiness. “I propose we betroth him to your daughter, Helaena. And my only daughter will inherit Dragonstone when I ascend the Throne…”

You blink and look over at your mother at the mention of your name, feeling your face slowly release the tension you began to have on your jaw.

“I propose we betroth her to your son, Aemond.” She offers in hopes for peace.

And at the sound of this news, finally, your interest is piqued, and a soft smile breaks on your face. Not only that but your grandfather glances over at you to share the same happiness with his smile.

“Ally ourselves,” your mother tries to further pursue the Queen. “Once and for all. Let them rule together.”

“A most judicious proposition,” your grandfather agrees with a smile.

Yet when you look over at Alicent, you don’t see that same joy.

“Additionally,” your mother goes on. “If Syrax brings forth another clutch of eggs your son Aemond will have his choice of them…a symbol of our goodwill.”

Your smile widens as you feel glad for Aemond having more chances to bond with his own dragon.

“Rhaenyra,” Alicent calls out with a serious tone.

You look over at Alicent and wait for what she has to say on the matter, but instead, she goes quiet and just watches your mother, causing you to follow her line of gaze and notice that your mother is leaking milk.

“Oh,” your mother says as she covers her breasts. “Seven Hells.”

You glance around to check if you have anything you could give her so she can cover up and avoid the stares from the men, but you have nothing to hand her. And that only makes you feel bad for her.

“My dear,” your grandfather interjects. “A dragon's egg is a handsome gift.”

“The King and I thank you for your offer and we will consider it duly.” Alicent bounces on after her husband. “You must rest now, husband.” She moves on to your grandfather's side, urging him to get up to finally end the meeting.

“Yes,” he agrees and gets up. Before he turns to walk away he stops before you and caresses your chin with a sweet smile on his face. “Have a pleasant day, darling.”

You beam at him and gently grasp his hand. “And you grandfather.”

Before he leaves and takes his hand away, you quickly take the shell from your pocket that you collected not so long ago and pass it to him.

When he feels what he’s now holding he pulls his hand away and glances at the delicate shell and chuckles softly. “Oh, why, what a wonderful surprise. Thank you.” He whispers excitedly and pats your shoulder before he’s whisked away, making the other lords scurry out after him, and ultimately leaving your mother and you to leave the room last.

“I’m sorry I didn’t mention the proposal before my Sweet. Do you like it though?” She asks you as you walk with her to her chambers.

You turn your head to meet her gaze and nod, noticing she looks even more upset now than seconds ago. Her gaze also looks distant.

“Yes, I do,” you assure her so she can know that she at least got someone to agree with her. “Aemond and I are rather good friends. He’s very nice to me.”

Your mother blinks and focuses on you to offer you a faint smile. “Good, that makes me happy. You’ll make a good pair.”

You glance ahead and feel even more giddy at the thought of telling him, and feel especially more happy at the idea that you wouldn’t have to leave after all.

“Do you think the Queen will accept?” You can’t help but ask. “Grandfather seems quite content with the proposals.”

Your mother shrugs. “I hope she does, but we'll see.”

You hope she does, you really hope so.

“May I go tell him?” You blurt with a growing smile.

Your mother notices your joy and can’t help but smile, albeit you do notice it is a bit strained as her attention wavers between you and her thoughts. “Yes, go on, but remember it’s not official yet.”

You shoot her a beaming grin before you pick up your gowns skirt to run up the stairs and hurry to Aemond’s chambers where you know he’ll be at this time of day. Once you finally reach his quarters you knock once and don’t wait a second before you knock repeatedly until the moment the door opens and he’s there with an annoyed expression.

“I assumed it was you with that annoying knocking,” he remarks.

You beam at him and then grab his arm to pull him out of his chambers since you aren't allowed to be in his quarters alone. “Guess what?” You ask in a sing-song voice while you begin to walk down the hall.

Aemond sighs deeply. “You know I hate playing this game with you.”

You roll your eyes and ignore his comment to share the news. “I was at the small council meeting and received glorious news.”

Aemond finally gets his interest piqued and looks at you with a curious stare, whilst you begin to only smile wider.

“My mother proposed that we get married and rule Dragonstone,” you share giddily.

Aemond’s eyes slowly widen, and you notice he swallows thickly.

“Isn’t that great?” You probe and grab his hand. “That means I wouldn’t have to leave and we won’t have to be apart.”

Aemond’s gaze lingers on yours for a moment without any reaction whatsoever. It was beginning to discourage you, but he slowly begins to smile; it’s a faint gesture, but he does smile and you take it as a good sign.

“Yes,” he agrees softly. “That’s good news. What did my mother say?”

Your smile falters at that question, but you keep trying to remain hopeful. “She said she’d think about it. I hope she agrees. I don’t think I want to marry anyone else truthfully.” You look ahead and let his hand go to clasp yours.

“Yes,” Aemond comments. “Me neither.”

A heat grows on your cheeks, and you feel so flustered that you almost can’t talk, but you add softly. “Anyway, that’s all the worthwhile news I had to share. I hope your mother agrees.”

“Me too,” Aemond agrees, heightening your excitement and causing it to last all day.

It's such a bubbling excitement that you could hardly sleep. That's all that invaded your mind, that proposal and the hope that they’d accept so you wouldn't have to leave, and so you wouldn’t marry anyone else but your best friend.

However, as that excitement shone over you, a dark cloud soon lurked. Besides the pain you know your mother feels, there’s that dark stormy cloud that still looms over her, only now it’s far more unruly and out of control, causing your shining excitement to slowly dim.

Especially when she wouldn't let you leave as Ser Harwin came to her chambers to say his goodbyes before leaving for Harrenhal.

Your assumption was right, he did fight Ser Criston because of insinuations. And yes, it doesn’t prove anything, they could pass it as just a snap of emotions on Ser Harwin’s part, but he's leaving regardless.

“…be good to your mother and sister, lads,” you hear Ser Harwin tell both Lucerys and Jacaerys. “I’ll visit when I can.” His leather creaks as he stands up. “But that may be some time.”

Quick footsteps sound on the floor, causing you to look up from your book and catch Jacaerys approaching your mother.

“Jace,” she mutters as she begins to caress the back of his head.

Ser Harwin then follows after your brother with that same soft look he always seemed to have around them, your mother, and even you.

“I will return,” the Knight tells your brother before he lifts his chin. “I promise.”

Your brother nods, letting Ser Harwin part away to approach your mother, but as he does, you look back at your book and pretend to read since you can’t actually bring yourself to focus.

Silence follows for a moment before you hear a kiss and then sweet words that follow by the same man. “I will be a stranger when we meet again.”

More silence follows, causing you to slowly lift your eyes, noticing that Ser Harwin and your mother were just holding each other's gazes. It was a gleaming gaze from him, you can’t read hers since her back is facing you, but you did know she cared for him, so you imagine it's as hurt as his.

But even still them looking at each other with so much tenderness and longing makes you wish for something as passionate as what they had. You want someone to look at you like how Ser Harwin looks at your mother, soft and lovingly.

“Princess,” he bows his head softly before his eyes begin to drift past her shoulder to where you are, so you hastily pretend to be reading once more and let him approach you before you look up and act clueless.

“Farewell sweet Princess, we’ll see each other again someday. But until then, may you let no one change who you are.” He offers you the same sweet smile he had given your brothers, so you can't help but offer him a kind smile as well before a response.

“Farewell Ser Harwin, may your journey home be pleasant.”

The knight offers you one last smile before he turns to collect his stuff to finally leave once and for all. Once he makes it outside though, Jacaerys runs after Ser Harwin but comes to a stop just past the chamber doors. Your mother follows and they both watch the Knight walk away.

“We will exchange letters by raven,” your mother assures Jacaerys. “Won’t that be fun?”

“Why do I look different from my sister?” Jacaerys bluntly asks your mother, causing you to blink in disbelief and straighten up to keep listening. “Is Harwin Strong my father? Am I a bastard?”

Your mother looks back to check if Lucerys is listening, but he isn’t; he's too distracted by his own thing.

“You are a Targaryen,” your mother assures your brother. “Same as your sister. That’s all that matters.”

Jacaerys says nothing in return, he doesn’t look content with her response, but it lets your mother press a kiss on his forehead before urging him back inside and following shortly after.

And now that is dealt with you close your book and get up to try and leave. “May I take my leave, mother? I wanted to go out to the gardens with Helaena.”

Your mother's gaze snaps to you and she swallows thickly before she approaches you with an even darker cloud that begins to creep toward you now.

“I need to tell you something,” she says and grabs your shoulder before cupping your cheek. “We’re going to be leaving.”

Just like that the cloud fully looms over you now, basking you in its darkness and gloom. “What?” You gasp in disbelief.

“My sweet please,” she mutters quietly. “Make a good example for your brothers.”

You draw in a deep breath and only frown deeper.

“It’s for the best,” she tries to convince you without making too much of a fuss. “Our time here has come to an end.”

You shake your head. “But what of the proposals? Aemond?” You argue.

“If Alicent agrees then you’ll come back when you’re older, okay?” She tries to assure you. “You can always exchange letters.”

You let out a shaky sigh, and lose your gaze on the floor as you begin to bite the inside of your cheek. “And grandfather?” You ask.

Your mother lets out a soft sigh, it’s shaky, but she responds as best as she can. “We’ll send ravens. We’ll be better at Dragonstone.”

If this is going to happen, if you are going to leave here then there’s only one thing that can assure you. “Will we leave together?” You ask and slowly meet her gaze. “All of us? Even father?”

Your mother caresses your cheek and nods. “Of course. We’re all going home.”

Home.

It’s only home as long as your family is there with you. So as long as that’s intact then it’s okay. You’ll be happy to go home.

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Tagged- @namelesslosers @stargaryenx @lightdragonrayne