#Really sad moment when I got far enough into the post to realize it wasn't about smithing.

[paradiseprincesss]

hi!! if ur requests r still open could we get a fic w robert fischer based on deja vu by olivia rodrigo? like maybe reader and robert had like a summer fling but to her it felt like more ykwim 😭 ive kinda been in the mood for some angst lately LOL

btw i love ur fics i start tweaking a lil whenever u post 💀💞

do you get deja vu? | robert fischer

hi anon, first of all thank you! you're so sweet, i really hope you enjoy this & i apologize that it took me so long to post it. i don't know why but i kept revising this fic over and over again. i wanted it to live up to your expectations LOL.

summary: sometimes we don't realize how much things meant to us until we no longer have it.

warnings: smut, p in v, angst, lovers to strangers, robert fucks up lol and now he's forever sad, mdni 18+ only

word count: 2.3k

the city of malibu was breathtaking; every moment spent here was somehow better than the last — how could a place be so beautiful? as you sat in the passenger side of robert's brand new luxury vehicle, you took in the beauty that you were residing in, whilst robert was taking in the beauty of you.

you weren't totally sure how this whole thing happened — but god, did it mean everything to you.

robert had approached you in a bar while you were out with your girlfriends in the city, offering to buy you a drink. one look at his face and you were agreeing because honestly; who would turn down a man like him?

after your friends encouraged you to keep talking to the handsome stranger, who introduced himself as robert, you two just clicked. conversation flowed effortlessly between the both of you, and soon enough, the two of you were going on your first official date.

it was safe to say that robert had charmed you completely, he had you enamoured with him — infatuated, truly. he was a true gentleman, classy and organized, not to mention that he came from money. after a handful of very upscale, fancy, and luxurious dates, the two of you had began seeing each other regularly.

neither of you had put an actual "title," per se, on what you had going on between the two of you, but at this point in time — you didn't see the harm.

so that's the story of how you ended up in robert's luxury car, speeding down the roads of malibu whilst he took you on a weekend getaway here. far, far away from the city you two both resided in.

"i'm craving ice-cream," you said to robert while the two of you were stopped at a red light, "strawberry, specifically."

"what, like right now?" robert asked with a small chuckle, sighing as he admired your breathtaking beauty underneath the heat of the malibu sunshine.

"yes, like right now."

"okay, let's go get some then." robert decided, his baby blue eyes melting your heart as a smile tugged at his lips.

true to his word, robert drove the both of you to a nearby ice-cream shop, and got you your strawberry ice-cream — one spoon for two. that afternoon was spent sharing laughs, sweet kisses, and the strawberry ice-cream that you'd been craving.

even though robert came from money and had more than you'd ever thought someone could have, it wasn't his wealth and status that snagged your heart. it was him, just good old robert fischer. not his money, not his materialistic things, not his cars, no — just who he was.

robert was caring. he was so considerate, listened to you, and was always there for you when you needed him the most. it felt like he was yours, and you were his — and that's how things should've been.

that's how the story should have ended.

but you know what they say; all good things have to come to an end at some point.

"robert," you said breathlessly, "take this dress off of me, please."

"sweetheart," he whispered against your ear as he unzipped your designer dress, "you're so beautiful, you know that?"

"i love—" you paused, suddenly hyperaware of the words that were about to leave your mouth, "i love that you took me here."

you weren't sure if you should've said it — i love you, that is.

robert and you had been seeing each other for the entirety of the summer by the time he'd taken you to malibu, but again; to you it felt like more than a fling. you just weren't sure where he stood with this whole thing between you and him.

"anything for you, sweetheart. i'd do anything." robert replied softly, turning you around as he slipped you out of the dress.

stood in your lacy, white, la perla lingerie along with matching jimmy choo's and stockings (courtesy of robert, of course), you face him with a blush. "how does it look?" you ask shyly, to which robert smiles and sighs happily in bliss.

"you..." he whispered, trailing off for a moment, "you're just so perfect — how are you mine?"

"yours?"

"mine, and mine only, sweetheart. don't ever forget it."

you'd soon come to never forget it — just not in the way you'd hoped.

robert took your hand in his gently, guiding you to the huge, king-sized, luxurious bed in his miami penthouse. no hotels over here; this is robert fischer were talking about — he owned homes down here.

you found your way into his bed, laid up in the pile of silk pillows, as robert found his way between your legs with his hands wrapped up in your hair. he kissed you passionately with a hunger that you'd never seen from him before.

you took your time helping him out of his suit, being dainty and deliberate with your movements — maybe you felt like being a tease tonight. after you'd gotten him out of your clothes, your lacy bra was long gone, but his hands wandered down to the scrunched lace of your underwear.

"may i?" robert asked sweetly, his eyes darting between your pretty face and perky breasts, causing you to blush profusely.

"y-yes," you whimpered, "i can't wait anymore."

"god, when you say things like that — i don't think i can either, sweetheart." robert groaned softly, finally pulling down your white lace panties.

up until this point — you and robert hadn't actually had sex yet. you thought it was sweet; special, even. you thought he really liked you, that he didn't want to sleep with you until you felt ready. obviously, you took this as a sign that he deeply cared about you as a person, in more than just a "fling" way.

as his cock stretched you open perfectly, you arched your back and let out a soft moan, as did he. he started to move in and out of your soaking cunt gently, truly taking the time to make sure you were enjoying this as much as he was.

his cock was thick — it had you feeling fuller than you'd ever felt before from previous partners, and it felt like his cock was made for you. with the way it stretched your pussy out perfectly, hitting every spot just right, bringing you closer and closer to the edge with each thrust he gave you.

"so beautiful," robert praised through gritted teeth, "and so tight, fuck."

"r-right there! mmph!" you moaned softly as his cock brushed up against that spongy spot inside of you, causing your cunt to clench around him.

"right there? is that it, sweetheart?" robert cooed, making you nod feverishly.

"yeah," you said breathlessly, "right — f-fuck! gonna cum!"

"thaaaat's it, my pretty girl. drench my cock so i can fill you up with my cum." he encouraged, causing you to see stars as you came around his length.

your pretty little noises pushed robert over the edge a minute or two later, his hips snapping into your cunt as he fucked his cum into you. as you looked up at robert, he had a small smile on his face and his cheeks were dusty. you returned the smile, and he sighed as he pulled you into his arms, wrapping you in his embrace tightly after he'd pulled out.

he whispered your name to you softly, causing you to stare up at him with admiration and love. "yeah?" you say softly, intertwining your hands with his as the two of you cuddled in between the sheets.

"i never want you to leave," he said, voice saccharine, "you mean so much to me, sweetheart."

"i—" you stammered, unsure if this was a good time to say it; but you figured it would be. especially after what he'd said to you, after the way he made love to you. "i love you, robert."

you smiled to yourself, but frowned when you realized you were just living in a memory — something that only existed in the past now. reality hit you like a freight train as you were brought back to your current situation; in the same bar you'd met robert at once months ago.

you weren't in miami with him anymore — you didn't even know who he was anymore; perhaps just a fragment of your past. you hadn't spoken since the end of august when the both of you had gotten back from your weekend getaway.

things had changed since then.

it was the middle of a bleak november evening, and the cold weather was depressing. summer had left as quickly as it had come.

"are you okay?" your friend asked as you sipped on your martini, looking as beautiful as ever — but for nobody in particular anymore. "that's your third drink, you sure you there's not something you want to talk about?"

"actually, there is," you say, turning to her as the two of you sat in a secluded little table in the corner of the bar, "doesn't she look familiar?"

as you pointed across from you, your friends eyes trailed along until they stopped at a woman who looked eerily similar to you.

she wore the same type of clothes that you did, down to the brand of high heels. her hair was the same colour as yours, so were her eyes, and not to mention she looked like she could be you if you didn't look too hard.

"looks like you found your doppelganger." your friend joked, nudging your arm but to her surprise, you didn't laugh — nor did you come close to even cracking a smile. "are you sure you're okay?"

"look at who she's with." you say bitterly, and your friend looked back at the woman to see that she was now accompanied by a man — a man who she knew as robert fischer.

at first, when robert walked into the bar on the crisp autumn night, you had to do a double take to make sure you were really seeing what you thought you had seen. once you'd confirmed it was him, you were about to grab your purse and drag your friend out of the bar with you — until you saw who he'd come with.

the woman hanging on his arm was a walking reflection of you; it was like everything was all reused. you silently hoped that maybe you weren't just another one of those girls who he pretended to care about; just saying whatever to get into their pants because they were just his type and nothing more.

but this woman couldn't just be his "type" — she was a mirror image of you.

"is that—?"

"yeah," you answered your friend, "it is."

"didn't he tell you that you guys couldn't see each other anymore because of his fathers passing?" she asked you, to which you nodded, throwing back the rest of your drink.

"i told him i loved him and he told me he didn't feel the same. after everything we did together and everything he said. after he called me his and his only — the thing with his father was just some excuse."

"what a piece of shit," your friend scoffed, "but it seems like he might still be thinking about you — i mean, it looks like he's looking for you in every other woman."

"do you think he gets deja vu when he's with her?" you suddenly ask, causing your friend to laugh softly.

"probably," she tells you, "i mean, who's to say he isn't going out with her just to feel like he has you again?"

"do you really think so?"

before your friend could answer your question, you heard your name being called as you both peered over at the sound. at first, your heart dropped because of the familiar voice that had called out your name — but when you looked over at him, you almost flatlined on the spot.

he hadn't even realized you were at the bar, and that's when it hit you — she even had the same name as you, which made everything ten times worse? or awkward? or weird?

"oh shit," your friend said with shock, "she has the same name as you, too. you can't tell me my theory isn't true now."

"my god." you whisper, feeling at a loss for words in this very moment as you watched the two of them together.

he had his arm wrapped around her waist the same way he used to do with you, but the way he looked at her was completely different. there was something missing in his once lively, baby blue eyes — he seemed so blank. like he was there but also, he wasn't really.

you overheard fragments of their conversations; they were talking about the songs you two used to listen to together, and he told her all about how those were "his favourite songs." you also heard him tell some familiar jokes — the same jokes you two used to laugh about.

back when he was yours for the time being.

"i'm going home, you coming?" you ask your friend, swallowing hard as you felt yourself become teary-eyed.

"yeah, yeah, i'm coming."

as you both made your way to the exit, you took one last look back at robert and his new girl, just to get one last glance — but when you looked back at him, he was already looking at you.

time stopped for a minute, and you'd sworn you'd never seen someone look so full of regret in all your years of living. every time you thought he was going to look away, he didn't. he continued to look at you as if you were otherworldly — as if he couldn't believe what he was seeing in that very bar.

but you reminded yourself of the heartache he caused you.

so, with a heavy heart, you walked out of the bar as you turned away from him, letting him relive the past and linger in the feeling of deja vu.

@girlinterrupted505 @ciriceimpera @jordyn-yeager @thevelvetvampyre @galactict3a

@xanaxiii @nocturnest @psylrd @bloodandglitter207 @humbuginmybones 

@oceanstem @futurefamousdeadmusician @jonathancraneslittlepet @dolleyednymphette @kpopgirlbtssvt 

@ll4n4 @ilovetoxicfictionalmen @the-buddy-things @ellebelleshelby @wiseyouthinfluencer 

@aprilsfrog05 @minedofmoria @strangeobsessed @5tud10-54r4h @franzine-xii @stsrfujid

[gimmethosedaddymilkers]

Starving in The Dark

Okay another mini thing while I'm struggling to do the other responses rn, these ones I do while im laying down to go to bed lmao, but your requests will get done I promise!

Anyway! This is based on the thing I posted earlier today 😈 if you know you know.

Its very 18+ so minors DNI

WARNINGS!: NSFW, arthur literally devouring you, in general sexy things, chubby reader because I said so and theres not enough chubny reader and chubby arthur in this world

TAGS:@mrsarthurmorgan7 @photo1030 @kieropal @cantchoosejust1 @6kaja9

So lets get started!!!

You feel as though you're gonna loose a finger to the cold around you, even being bigger and retaining heat better than smaller people would, you felt frozen to the core.

After the gang had left the Amberino mountains on your run from the law you didn't figure you'd be back up here so soon, but here you were, shivering and shaking on your horse, even in your heavy coat, as you and Arthur trek through the snow the further you got into the mountains.

Granted the snow that you traveled through now was no where near as bad as it had been the first time the gang had come through here, but it still seemed to sink right into your bones, you could only imagine how cold your horses were.

But you refused to complain. Arthur had told you he wanted to take you somewhere out of camp, far away, just the two of you, so you could finally spend sometime together without being harassed by the others or being pulled apart to do other jobs.

Granted you would have appreciated it if he'd taken you somewhere warmer, but you weren't about to start whining when he was trying to do something sweet and thoughtful for you. It wasn't often the two of you got to sneak away like this.

"We're almost there Darlin' I swear, then I'll get the fire goin' and that cabin'll warm up quick."

Arthur looks over his shoulder at you, his face reflecting a mixture of guilt and apology.

He'd clearly recogonized your freezing state.

"I'm okay!" You lie through your teeth offering a smile, you hate seeing the big guy look so sad. "Just cold!"

"I know, I shoulda just had you ride in the same horse with me, woulda been warmer for ya." He sighs and then nudges his horses sides. "C'mon, pick up the pace, let's get there."

The two of you ride for just a little longer, snowflakes sticking to your eyelashes the further you go, until eventually the two of you come over a hill to see a rather small cabin on what would be a beautiful lake, had it not been frozen over.

You're quick to hitch the horses in a nearby area where they're slightly sheltered, and make your way into the cabin.

It's a little run down, but upon looking at it you realize someone's clearly cleaned it up, and as you look back at Arthur you realize he really has been planning this for a while. The bed is made and the floor's been decently cleaned, a stack of wood decently high is sat against one of the walls and the cuboards are stocked with food.

Arthur moves and closes the door behind him the moment the two of you step over the threshold, he gently kisses the side of your head before beginning to start a fire up for you.

You can't help but watch him as he works, crossing your arms in an attempt to retain your heat.

Even in the cold he keeps his demenor, which around you is a little softer, kinder.

There's a small smile on his face as he does his work and the cold air has caused his cheeks to bloom red.

"You look so cute in the snow." You mumble, taking note of his denim clad jacket, the collar lined with fur. It covers his cheeks a little, but not enough to cover the fact that his face gets slightly redder at your compliment.

"Now, I don't even believe you when you call me handsome," he chuckles and continues to throw wood into the stove settled in the center of the small cabin. "What makes you think I'll believe you when you say that?"

"Who says I need you to believe it grumpy?"

He simply offers another small chuckle to you before he starts to attempt to light the fire. Luckily it doesn't take long.

The fire blazes and you find yourself crowding in the front of the stove as soon as Arthur shuts the front of it and opens the vents to allow heat into the room.

He stands behind you, his hands gently grasping your shoulders and his chin resting on rhe crown of your head.

"Sorry it was such a long ride Darlin' and a cold one too." He mumbles under his breath, letting out a long sigh that you feel reverberate through your body.

"It's okay Arthur, really." You smile this time, to yourself, he needed this break more than you did, you were just happy he wanted to take it with you. You'd follow him anywhere he wanted to go, and this included anywhere.

"Hmm." He gives the hum in response and then another sigh before he lets go of you to move towards the bed placed against the wall across frkm where you stand.

You watch as he plops down and begins to take his boots off and his coat soon follows.

He himself is a big man, and even he seemed a little cold, that redness of his face, and the small chatter in his teeth that occasionally appeared, it was no surpise you were so cold.

"I know it's cold," he mutters. "But you should get that heavier stuff off and get under the covers body heat'll be better for the two of us then these cold jackets."

You offer a nod, and then move to meet him, taking your coat off as you move.

It was gonna be a cold night.

.............

You wake up sweating, with the smallness of the cabin and the constant wood going into the stove to keep it that way, plus Arthur's body heat, you felt as though you were absolutely swimming.

The two of you together, both bigger bodies, the heat you both gave off, it was a wonder he wasn't sweating his ass off too.

It's completely dark in the cabin, other than a little bit of fire light from the stove.

You manage to get up out of the bed without waking Arthur, sliding out of his iron grip as quietly and as gently as possible.

You do the only thing you can think of to get to a comfortable temperature and strip out of your night clothes.

Tossing them to the side you feel much better, still warm, but without the extra cotton its a much more comfortable warmth.

You give a quiet sigh and clamber back into bed, getting back under Arthur's arm as quietly as possible.

"Y' good?" His words are slurred agains your neck as you settle back down, and after a moment his hand finds your waist and he seems to wake a little.

"The hell did your clothes go?"

"It's hot in here Arthur-" you hear the whine in your voice and feel awful for a moment, but you realize now laying back under the cover with arthur again that you'll most likely wake up covered in sweat once more.

Arthur's silent for a moment, but then you feel his hand travel over your stomach, going a little lower, reaching your thighs.

He's clearly not thinking about the words you just said.

"Arthur you are not listening-"

"Kinda stopped after I realized your tits were out if 'm honest." He sighs and you feel a hot kiss against your neck. "What I wouldn't give to feel these around my head...."

He squeezes your thigh gently, his fingers crawling towards your inner thigh.

"I'm already warm..." it's a feeble excuse, and you know it, yiu absolutely love it when he gets like this, so despite your discomfort you know that you're more than likely going to go along with him.

"Maybe if you got out from under these covers ...let those pretty tits of yours hit the air..."

"What the hell are you suggesting?"

"Mhmmm...." Arthur's voice comes out as a groan in your ear, and he places a small kiss there, right behind your ear.

"I'm sayin'," he mumbles. "I think you should sit on my face..."

"Arthur!"

You've never done such a thing. Of course you've had him between your legs before, and you'd never deny him that, as he got pleasure out of it just as you did, in fact it was one of his favorite things, but NEVER had you ever sat on his face.

"I'm too big." You mutter. "Too heavy, I sit on your face and I'll sufficate you-"

"Good, a fine way to die." He kisses your neck again.

"Arthur I'm serious!"

"I am too."

You sigh and he simply gets closer to your ear.

"Please Y/n...Please, I want you to do it so badly....please."

He's begging you. How could you tell him no.

"Okay..." You mumble the answer after a few moments of silence. "But you have to promise to stop me if you can't breathe, please?"

"Of course, you're My Girl."

You feel a heat in your cheeks and move, watching as he moves to lay on his back.

He keeps his hands to the sides, lazily awaiting you to sit on your throne.

He motions you towards him with his two middle fingers on each hand.

With just that you're compelled.

You manage to manuver yourself to the right place, and you begin to squat over his face, hovering if you will, and you feel Arthur's hands latch onto your thick thighs.

"I said sit." His voice comes out in a growl and then with a tight squeeze and a single rough pull on his end you find yourself completely sat on Arthur's face.

You can't move, he hold's you tightly against his face, buried in your pussy.

His hands massage your thighs, and you can feel his tongue moving in the best way you can think of.

It sends tingles through your body, the way he seems to nearly devour you, as though he'd never had a meal in his life.

His mouth is warm, and wet as he licks, and licks, and each flick of his tongue that seems expert you can't stop yourself from letting out lewd sounds that make you grateful he's taken you all the way into the mountains.

You reach between your thighs, gripping his hair tightly as he has his snack.

"Arthur...." You doubt he can even hear you from his position, but you hope that he gets the message when you begin to move your hips, riding his face.

His hands move from your thighs to your ass, and he helps guide each thrust of your hips.

You take a moment to look down, meeting his eyes between your thighs.

He's got a look there that you've seen many times, full and utter lust.

You can feel his nost brushing against sensitve areas of your heat, and his tongue still works away at you, lapping like a thirsty animal.

One of his hands moves from your ass, wrapping over your thigh and reaching between your legs, finding your clit easily, as it's nearly second nature for him.

Your breathing is ragged as he continues his assult of pleasure on you.

You know it isn't gonna take much longer for you to come undone, and your grip in his hair gets tighter, he can tell it won't be much longer.

The faster his tongue gets the faster his hand goes, he matches the circular motion just right with everything else until-

"Arthur!"

You feel yourself clench up and your thighs close instinctually against Arthur's head, and he continues to lick, doing his best to help ride out your orgasam.

When you're able to regain your composure he offers a few taps on your thigh and you manage to move off of him, catching the glint of your arousal on his face from the small firelight.

"Next time, when I say sit on my face I mean sit." He swallows and you watch as he licks his lips before placing his hands behind his head. "I want you to smother me."

You simply blink at him, your heart still racing from your high.

He'd just eaten you as though you were his last meal and that's all he could say.

You blink and then look towards his waist.

You had some giving to do.

[archerbeans]

So, I finally watched the Archer finale..

WARNING. SPOILERS AHEAD FOR INTO THE COLD!!!

So, Archer has come to an end. Its a lot for me to process, this is a hard one for me, the past 6 months have been exclusively Archer for me, I've fallen so far for a fictional character. I'm going to try my absolute best to collect all of my thoughts in one post for this. I'll try not to spoiler too much. But I think this is necessary for me so I can help process this loss for me.

To say I'm happy is an understatement. I'm beyond relieved and grateful we got the proper Archer ending this show so badly deserved. The season 14 finale was a disgrace, and the way it could have ended would have been tragic. This show ending is tragic enough, but thats just my view on it. Hyperfixations are hard ya'll.

I think the way they ended the plot for this show was very cleverly done. While I don't think Adam Reed would have went in this direction, I'm still satisfied with what the writers did. Seeing everyone band together was wonderful, and there were a couple twists I wasn't expecting at all, but it goes without saying, nothing can be perfect.

Some initial thoughts, pros and cons if you may, but not really.

The growth the characters go through is really really cool to see, notably Archer. When he says he doesn't need to know who his father is, that's a huge milestone and a step towards some emotional maturity. Sterling has so much trauma and is overall a very impulsive character, but letting him have his moments of clarity is always nice to see. There is a good balance between his impulses and realizing that his actions have consequences. I don't think there was any way Slater could have been saved in the end anyways.

There was no main focus on any specific character. Every main reoccurring role in the show got their own moments in this finale, which I am super grateful for. Season 14 had a hard time dedicating specific episodes to certain characters like in the earlier seasons, so this finale did a great job at giving everyone a bit of spotlight.

Focusing on the main characters instead of random one off characters was super cool and something I appreciate as well. Katya, Barry, and Slater were all characters who made the biggest impacts on the show by far, not to mention they're also fan favourites. But seeing Rip Riley was super exciting as well!

The early season throwbacks!! In the elevator shaft you can see the old ISIS sign and an old Cherlene album :3 If there was anything else I probably missed it as there was a lot of clutter, but I always get so so excited when there's early season callbacks. It shows that's the writers really do care about these characters and their stories. I was happy to see Milton!! Milton supremacy!!

The ode to Malory was wonderful, I'm so so happy they did that. Lana's speech at the end was a good way to wrap everything up for the crew.

There isn't much to say negatively, these aren't necessarily things that make this finale bad, just things that made me sad and were a surprise to me that I'm not sure how I feel. This is completely opinion biased and you can disagree all you want!

Slater dying. I'm really sad that one of my favourites ended up dying. I loved the very erotic moments between Slater and Archer and their initial fight was really intense and fun. But seeing Slater die wasn't really all that satisfying for me, except it allowed Archer to grow more and let go of some of that trauma. RIP Slater </3 You were a son of a bitch

Morphing Barry and Katya.. This is a weird one for me. I'm not sure how I feel about this at all. I guess the only fun thing I can say about this is that we got some fun classic enemies to lovers. I dont particularly LOVE that trope, but with making Katya a antagonist, it was quite the choice.

The settings.. I think it was fitting to have some of the settings back in Russia, but Rio was quite the random choice. There was a lot going on and at one point I kind of got confused as to where everyone was at one point, in one scene they're at the Agency, the next they're in a safe house, the next they're in some other random area, that was a bit hard to follow, but a lot happened in an hour, and there was a lot going on. The title "Into the Cold" was clever. Also I hated the whole crypto thing. That genuinely felt like a cheap cop out for some plot holes. Cyril doesn't seem like the type of person to be interested in crypto as one would figure he'd be pretty knowledgeable on how that stuff is shitty. If Lana saw those mines you know she would lose her mind LOL

Overall, I am happy with how things were wrapped up. I was very worried near the end because we hadn't seen AJ at ALL, or had any mention of her, so seeing the scene at the end with her and Sterling made me really happy, knowing that Archer kept in contact with Lana but not anybody else really stung, but Sterling saying he "hates goodbyes" really stuck with me after this finale finished. Saying goodbye to this show is not easy whatsoever, I have such a strong connection with these characters and cast, and my love for Cheryl is eternal. Its hard for neurotypical people to fully understand, and this is a grieving process for me, but I have the support and friends to help me through this, and I will always have these guys around, since I can rewatch this show as many times as I want. I will continue to make content and hopefully start writing more maybe. This world is so expansive and so many things can be done as it falls on the line of realism, slice of life, and science fiction. I love everything this show had to offer, and I'm so grateful for the dedication and work that went into this show.

If you read this far for some reason, thanks for reading.

[amphiptere-art]

I will note this entire thing is currently unedited. I just wanted to post it before I had to go to work. Black Star uses exclusively they/them for Blue Moon. Which is currently not shown. A lot of the lunars should be replaced with crushed glow. The wording could be better. Yada yada yada. I will edit this thing later.

Lunar eclipse

Black Star wandered in the mind space of crushed glow. Some sort of lunar Blue Moon had taken. Apparently there are moon was cruel enough to trick them into helping them. Trapping them in his mind afterwards.

Blue Moon had reversed that. Trapping Moon in the same cage their lunar had been. Magical enchantments on top of course. Blue Moon's magic being unique enough not the moon hadn't broken out yet. Muffled and hidden so that crushed glow wouldn't try to get them back out.

Crushed glow had fallen asleep. Black Star had taken the moment. It was by far the best time. Finally locating the cage that kept the dark moon. He could barely see the scowling face inside. Although he could definitely see the shadow move in surprise. Probably speaking but only a muffled voice was heard.

"Well well. I'm surprised. Blue Moon was telling the truth. A moon really is trapped in here. And look at all these runes and coding keeping you back. I heard my moon didn't do anything but simply swap your places. Blue Moon already increased the security manually magic. I will say, quite a crafty cage. So sad it was for the wrong person."

The Moon behind the wall seem to get up. I'm waving their hands around while muffled yelling was heard. Blackstar simply chuckled as he began to Pace in front of the bickering moon.

"You know Blue Moon has seen the worst. But he's also seen it all. They've seen every little fraction of a world. How's things oh so slightly change. When I explained what my world was like, you know what they said. They said I was a main line. Apparently I'm so close to the standard. The only thing that change was that I got put in this little place. A world where eclipse never existed. Funny how much cruller it came out."

The moon behind the wall seem to realize none of his shouting was getting to them. Sitting back down while mumbling small retorts as Black Star continued his little speech.

"But then again compared to yours I think it's on the same margin. You trapped your lunar. You change the course of the main line. The line where you did not do as such. I apparently broke you."

The moon behind the wall seemed to stand up and slam a fists on the wall. Giving Black Star a chance to see what details he could gleam. Chuckling quietly at the outburst.

"Oh we both know that is true. Why else would you be so needlessly cruel. Lunar offered himself to you. Didn't he. He had too much of me and decided he would be in better arms than yours. Oh what a sore disappointment he had afterwards didn't he. Locked up in the same box You're in. I bet it feels depriving."

The moon behind the wall continue to bang and shout. Clearly disagreeing with Black Stars words.

"You've been in here for what? A couple of months at least. You already here before I arrived. So it's at least been, ahh, give or take 7 maybe 10 months for you? I think that's about the same amount of time You're a lunar was stuck in here. It doesn't feel good. Does it. And yet you still did it. You watched a being cry and big and laugh and love you. And yet you lock them away."

The banging had stopped. Although black star could feel the glare the moon behind the wall was giving him.

"I'm honestly surprised you took so much care to handle one little AI. I thought I was all you were worried about. Not some backup I made. Which reminds me. I've seen thousands of you. Or at least you're lunar's. Blue Moon's adopted, What? At least four of them. And every single time I hear the same excuse was given by you. Lunar wasn't sentient."

"And yet versions of you still torture them with intent. You left them here knowing that. Don't lie. I think a creature with the ability to go against a master is sentient enough. If I remember correctly he didn't even try to do anything afterwards. He was happy playing games with you. He wasn't trying anything to get me back. Hell he contracted blood moon. That one measly trainer who I could not control even if I wanted to."

"They brought back the thing that was my biggest enemy. And yet you still decided they were the bad guy. Oh I think I'm growing soft. Then again when you are suddenly the lowest ring of the food chain there isn't much you can do other than learn what gets you to survive. And trust me kindness helps you survive much longer."

"So many versions of your world perish because you decided to not be kind. You decided to not be kind to the nicest creature imaginable. You want to know how many versions of your world have been massacred by Blue Moon? Thousands. Hundreds and millions of them taken down by my brother. Yes apparently he's my brother. Anyways."

"There's versions of you that killed him. There's versions of you that trapped him in a nauseating void for years until he became nothing more than mindless. There's versions of you that torment him for your amusement. And Blue Moon has killed a version of every single one of them. Even the ones that hold the star. You know that big thing that makes a person untouchable. He's murdered versions of you with those right in their hands."

"You have so many worlds out for your head. I wonder if you've even seen a version of your son that is now an internal slave here. Yes there's a version of your brother that tried to kill a version of this lunar. Blue Moon decided to torment him all eternity. Treating him just like a version of yourself treated him. Isn't that funny."

Black Star was a bit winded for his rant. But he smiled at the wall with an energy. The moon behind it frozen.

"So many versions of you worried so much about him. You basically forgot about me. Honestly I'm surprised. It ruins my pride. So I'm going to make sure a version of you remembers who exactly started all this. Specifically you. Lucky."

"You know I heard you blame lunar for keeping you stuck in his head. You blame him. It appears you have forgotten, I was the one who placed him there. I was the one who made sure he stayed put. I was the one who made sure he knew exactly how to cause you ever loving pain. So. Let's have a jump to the past."

"This moon just switched your places. Blue Moon's not a coder. He just used his unique magic to make it hard for you to speak be seen by others. But I actually know something. I know how to use magic and code. I was the one who tormented you. With this little strip of sigils. Little strip of code. Do you recognize this?"

The moon behind the wall seem to back up. Black Star presenting the line of code that he had used to cause Moon infinite pain. The pain that burned whenever the other moved. Black Star smiling darkly.

"Let this remind you. I'm the real villain here. And I know exactly what I was doing. Lunar was just playing along. Now let's see how loud you scream."

The moon behind the wall seemed to panic as Black Star forced the code into the mind space. Filtering out into the void. He watched as the moon behind the wall seemed to cripple. Hugging themselves with a muffled scream. You could only hear it if you got close to the cell. And even at that you couldn't hear it clearly.

Black Star stood back up with pride. It had been such a long time since he had done anything awful. He wouldn't get in trouble for it either. Since it was to someone deserving as Blue Moon called it. Putting a mental check to ask Blue Moon to increase the muffled nature of their entrapment. Exiting the mindspace and quietly walking away from the sleeping robot. Returning back to his placement on the couch. Chuckling quietly as he went back into rest mode.

————————————————————————

Black Star

Characters that do not speak

Crushed glow, TF lunar.

Moon behind the wall, TF moon

I've had this running round in my brain. Black Star isn't allowed to do a lot of villainous stuff in RBB but he could do this. And it would definitely give him that feeling of his good old villainous life.

Plus it allows me to vent at TF Moon. Give him the punishment he deserves. Lunar wasn't ever an enemy. Eclipse was and Black Stars going to approve it.

TF lunar and moon belong to. @madcatdaderpydrawer-blog

[mirrorbusterz]

No art today, but I've really been thinking about the rkn's characterization as of late.

They're honestly the antithesis of each other; their character traits clash and clash hard but I feel like that makes for a very nice sibling dynamic they have with each other. I also like to hc that their differing personalities was an intentional design choice by Wily.

I'll explain what I mean, just know that I'm not great at articulating my thoughts and this is more of a stream of consciousness than anything else. So! With that in mind:

Enker--Based on his CD data, we know that he's very dedicated to destroying Mega Man, and takes it very seriously; he's a hard-ass with a gloomy personality. Hell, if you know anything about Enka music in general you'd know he's pretty much a physical representation of the music's soulful but sad melodies.

He is so dedicated to his programming that he would rather put himself in harm's way (i.e. sustaining damage to use the Barrier Spear) if that meant he could destroy Mega Man. He is an agent of order dedicated solely to completing his tasks.

So, when said agent of order failed at his one and only task, it makes sense for Wily to overcorrect. Why not design a robot to be the complete opposite of Enker?

That's when Punk was created.

Punk--He's loud. He's brash. He's hates PTAs and the government. Ya gotta love him.

Anyways, he couldn't be farther removed from Enker. While Enker is stated not to stand out, Punk loves showing out, represented by his love of accessories. While Enker would prefer to uphold the status quo, Punk wants to shake it up and have fun doing it.

His personality is heavily based on his namesake, Punk music, which has its roots in anti-facism and rebellion against "the man." It fucking rocks. This is heavily contrasted by the melancholic, "refined," Enka music. Y'see where I'm getting at?

I find it interesting that Punk's entire existence is a paradox considering I'd imagine he has disdain for any kind of authority, Wily included, but must follow Wily's orders anyways. But that's a text post for another day.

Back to the main point, even his fighting style is contrasted by Enker's. Enker's has a level of elegance to it, while Punk just throws his entire body at you. However, this doesn't mean Punk is reckless. In fact, this attack is pretty safe considering he can't be damaged while in his ball form. This is contrasted by Enker's extremely unsafe, even reckless, method of attack, that requires him to sustain damage.

But even Punk, the agent of chaos, wasn't enough to stop Mega Man.

You probably noticed that I haven't touched on Ballade yet. And that's because he doesn't really have any contrasting traits compared to his brothers. Wily must've realized he swung too far in both directions with Enker and Punk, so he made Ballade as a nice middle ground between the two.

Ballade--doesn't really stand for much except fighting. He wants to fight a strong opponent, and views himself as the "strongest" robot, and because of this he can come across as single minded. He feels too standard, too plain.

But his complexities are revealed once he is beaten and realizes what he is fighting for is wrong. He respects Mega Man's power, something that neither Enker nor Punk did.

Maybe the reason why he was able to break Wily's programming was because he didn't stand for much, able to break his base instincts because of his "weak will."

Or maybe because his will was so strong was the reason he broke his programming. Was he, perhaps, tired of fighting for Wily, and saw self-destruction as the only way out? I haven't decided myself.

Whatever the case, in his dying moments he was able to stand for something: ending up on the right side of history by helping Mega Man.

So sorry if this was a rambling, confused read! I've got that RKN autism, lmao. Btw, I really wanted to dissect Quint some too since I consider him their adopted brother, but it was getting way too long. A text post for another time! :)

[alara-kahya]

"Things end, that's all. Everything ends, and it's always sad. But everything begins again, and that's always happy." - 12th Doctor.

Self Para: Post break-up, 3 days later. Involved: Jayden Cross (deceased), her mom & Kian. Mentions: Nate Donovan & Emiri Tezel. Location/s: Cemetery & her home. Triggers: Death, grief, heartache.

"So, yeah, that's it. Sorry to come and bring bad news, I just... Well, selfishly I guess I thought it would help." Sighing as she sat on the ground in front of Jayden's grave, she tucked her knees into her chest and decided to just wallow for a minute. It was day three since Nate had walked out and aside from this right here, she hadn't told anyone. Not her mom, not even Emiri. What was she supposed to say? "I don't know how to talk about it with anyone else, or maybe I'm just scared to." Yeah, that felt more accurate. Alara had worked so incredibly hard over the years to shape herself into a strong and confident woman, it was difficult for her to show that she was still capable of being hurt. "I know what you'd say, I even know what you'd do, you would hug me and tell me to call my mom. Actually, you'd probably call her yourself. You can't beat a hug from your mom." She chuckles, saying something that Jayden used to say about her mother. Honestly, he was as close to an adopted child as her mom had, it broke her too when he died.

The soft laugh soon turned into a sniffle and before she knew it, she was choking back a sob and desperately wiping at the tears that spilled over her eyes. "How did I let this happen again," she puffed out a breath, still somehow laughing between crying, though it was far from a place of amusement. "I did what you always wanted me to do and I took a chance. Now look at me, right back to square one and you're not even here for me to say it's all your fault." Joking, but the words only made her miserable. "I feel like a fool, I really thought if I just kept patience, he'd find his moment and talk to me. Now I'm wondering if I should have pushed harder? And then I hate myself for thinking this could be my fault, because it isn't, is it? I gave him everything, and it just wasn't enough, how am I supposed to accept that? How can I when I don't understand." Groaning, what she does understand now is why she chose to come here and talk to a headstone over someone who could actually support her. Emotional and manic wasn't her best look, she wanted to try and vent a lot of it out before she turned to her family and friends. "It just hurts, it... yeah, it hurts."

The ache that swirled all around her insides only rippled outwards until it felt like even breathing in was painful. "I'm so lost without you, Jj, I miss you so much. So much." It wasn't fair. A thought that she seemed to be thinking a lot lately. Nothing was ever fair and she couldn't stand it. "You don't know what I'd give to go back, even if it was just to see you one last time." She lost herself when he had died, that much was clear to everyone who loved her, but what a lot of them didn't realize was that she never truly recovered. A part of her was still lost, still trying to claw it's way back but it never would. There was an empty space there in her heart that belonged entirely to her best friend. Sighing, she swiped more tears away and climbed up to her feet, staying crouched as her brown eyes lingered over his name. "Love you. I'll be back in a couple days, I'll bring beer." With a sad smile and a soft hand pressed against the cold stone, she takes a deep breath and turns to leave. Hopefully looking a little less blurry-eyed by the time she got home to greet her mother.

"Hey," calling out as she drops her bag at the door. "Sorry I'm late, work ran over and then I got talking to Jay," a statement that wasn't out the ordinary, it was never unusual for her to visit the cemetery just to keep her lost friend upto date on her life. "That's ok, sweetie. Little man is all tucked up, he's just waiting for a hug," her mom smiles, though she can't help but eye Alara with mild suspicion. "Everything ok?" Hard not to notice bloodshot eyes and tear stained cheeks when they were right in front of you, but it wasn't just that. It was something Kian had told her while they ate dinner. That he heard his mommy crying in the middle of the night. "Yeah, I'll go give him his hug," shying away from her gaze, she knew she couldn't talk about it right now, not while her son was waiting for her.

Making her way up the stairs, she does her best to rub the mascara away and go in his room with a warm greeting. "Hello my beautiful baby. Sorry I missed dinner." Walking over to sit on the end of his bed, her smile actually reaching her eyes just at the sight of him. "That's okay, but nanna made me eat sweetcorn," he pulled a blegh face and shuffled out his covers to envelope his arms around her. An action that had her eyes stinging with a fresh set of tears as she wrapped her arms around him and squeezed. "I didn't tell her sweetcorn is on the no no list now." Chuckling, she kisses at the top of his head, and holds him tight, finding a warm comfort that only he could ever really provide. It almost made her unwilling to tuck him back in, but she did, somehow resisting the urge to just lay down with him. "Mommy?" Innocent eyes peer up at her as she strokes his hair. "Are you sad?"

The question made her heart hurt, she never wanted to be sad in front of him but she should have known, he was always very perceptive. "I'm a little bit sad, yeah. Missing your Uncle Jayden a lot today." It wasn't a lie, and she obviously wasn't going to tell her four-year-old child about her breakup. "It's okay to be sad sometimes, as long as you know how to make yourself happy again, and I do, so don't worry." Nodding, she wasn't sure that part was quite true, not as things stood. "How do you do that?" He asks, making her laugh softly. "Well, I just look at you and all that sadness goes away. You know what I always tell you, I'm the luckiest mommy in the world to have a baby as kind and loving as you. But it's late, so close your eyes and dream nice dreams. I love you." Leaning forward to kiss his head, she waits for him to say it back and gently leaves the room, door ajar just how he liked it.

As soon as he was out of sight, she has her hands pressed over her mouth, silencing the hiccup and quickly making her way to her room. Washing up and getting into her pj's, she's surprised when she sees her mom still here, waiting for her on the sofa. "Now that your baby is settled, let me settle mine..." Patting a hand on the sofa, Alara looks between her and the spot, wary, almost timid. She didn't want to break, but damn, it didn't matter how old she got, a mother's influence was always the instinctive way to run. And so, she grabs a blanket and walks over, settling herself closely by her side, head on her shoulder and arm around her front, allowing her mother to just be there and hold her.

"Jayden was never wrong about this, can't beat one of your hugs." Smiling as she sits up, she doesn't bother to hide the sad defeat in her eyes, instead, she just shrugs. "Nate and I are done. He'd rather spiral than lean on me. I tried, but... It's pretty impossible to fight for someone who doesn't want to be fought for." The corners of her eyes crease as she tries to say it with a calm tone. As soon as she hears her mom say she's sorry, she shakes her head, trying to tell her she didn't really have anything else to say, except maybe... "You know what the worst part is? I never forgot how crap this feels, I broke my own promise never to put myself back in a position where I can be hurt because... I managed to convince myself that this time, it wouldn't end with tears."

And in a gesture to her own, she scoffs a sad half-laugh and tries to swallow the lump in her throat. She appreciates that her mom gives her the time to talk without interrupting, the squeeze on her arm is comforting enough without making her feel crowded. "Maybe I'm just not meant to be in a relationship. Some people aren't, and that's fine. I was happy by myself, I can be that way again." Nodding, "Yeah. It's fine. I'm- I'll be fine." Maybe if she said it enough, she would actually start to believe it. "Alara..." That soft tone of a concerned mother had her sucking in a breath as she shakes her head. "Don't. Please, just don't. I don't need you to say anything." She practically insists, misty brown eyes lifting up to hers only to close with a shaky sigh. "Okay, sweetie. I won't. But you should go get me some pajamas because I'll be staying here tonight." Her mom says, lifting a hand up to Alara's cheek, hoping that she wouldn't protest. Truthfully, she didn't have the energy, and not being alone sounded far better. "Thank you."

[eldritch-queern-magicat]

For very valid reasons, I'm not trusted by most of the system. I've been cut off from most connections I'd created since the end of 2022. Ash continued reporting to me, at least the basic day to day things. But things began to change and he reported less and less over last year. Eventually, he quit altogether, and I had no idea what everyone was up to. I had no idea Pandemonum was beginning to heal, or that they'd all investigated enough to process our early childhood. I was not aware of the drone being used for more than personal entertainment.

During his coup, Ash had to get me onboard to hold on to Joshua's power within us. It wasn't that I didn't see why he was doing it, since the hypocrisy was pretty obvious. But there had to be rules, or things would fall apart on us. So we made a contract with conditions that had to be met, otherwise I would take direct control.

It turns out that he pushed the bounds of our agreement and gave me both the bare minimum of what would satisfy me, as well as the most regarding the healing process that wouldn't cause me to step in. Like that Pandemonum was cooperating at all and out in the open in a layer that existed in the shadow of the main layer. Or that it and other parts were using the drone to compile their splintered and disorganized memories. And in all fairness, Ash did know I was against such a thing with our memories because of our instability. But as it happens, others coming out of the first few rounds of fusions had their own ideas because of prior healing. I do, at least, remember collectively realizing we're a trans man, but not much past that.

I shot down so many ideas because of my own insecurities and fears. No beating around the bush. Can't blame Ash for slowly giving me less and less of actually useful details. He turned out like he did partially because of me and how I did things. I was busy keeping everything separate, with special attention to exact words. I'm more than likely responsible for a lot of the posts that never got published.

Admittedly, this is uncomfortable for me. I'm used to working in the shadows, the background. I don't like being front and center. Perhaps that's the trauma. But the others are holding me to this now that awareness has spread that I've been found. I'm already being connected to the drone, anyway. Not really much choice at this point. No point in protesting, and I don't have any right to be angry about it. I've been far more forceful to them in the past, and very hurtful.

No, I'm really not angry at all. If anything, I'm just sad. I'm rambling now, but the fact that things reached the point they did. And all I was doing was slapping bandaids over everything, as if that would be enough on its own.

Yes, the pandemic was big enough to shut me down for a while. It's how the others were able to connect the few dots they did in the beginning. That was not at all in the plan, but now I do realize that my plan was inherently flawed.

My plan is what led to our periodic crashing at critical moments because we were patched together with essentially nothing more than tape. My plan meant suppressing things if they became inconvenient for whatever reason, then ignoring them. Mainly emotions. But it meant that tension built up constantly, and I became a pressure cooker of stress and anxiety. And when something happened, I went boom. I was absolutely neurotic, and of course I hurt more than just myself.

Now, they have more control in the system than me. The drone also represents them pooling their power as individual parts and sharing in it equally. It's for a lot of reasons, but perhaps most importantly for that sense of equality and feeling seen. The power it gives them is more of a bonus than a conscious goal.

Frankly, I should be quite proud of them. They absolutely did a lot better with things than I'd expected they would. I'm one who was afraid we weren't strong enough to handle the truth. My only goal was preservation and survival. What we wanted didn't matter at all. I've never been good at the stuff we want.

I guess if others with serious issues can recover, so can I. It just seems so...I don't know. Awkward. Rhodes insists we'll get there. Healing should feel good, even if it sometimes still hurts.

I'm thinking of calling myself Seer instead of Overseer, I really don't know. I guess it depends on how my role changes as I heal.

-Magicat Overseer ☎️😺

[mysteryloversbookshelf]

The Afterparty: Isabel

This has to be the creepiest episode so far. We’ve finally gotten to learn more about Isabel and that woman has been through a LOT 😭 I can’t say more without spoiling it so I’ll post more under the read more tag.

I just realized I didn’t post last week’s clue because I was so eager to post. It was “Not the Spitter” ruling out Aniq. I know a lot of people suspected Aniq but it just wouldn’t make any sense for him to do that because he loves Zoë and wants her family to like him. This week’s clue is:

“Not Without Planning”

Ok so whoever killed Edgar had a plan in place which makes things tricky. It raises the question of when exactly the killer came up with the plan. People who could have planned ahead of time are Grace, Travis, Hannah, Sebastian, Feng, Isabel, and Vivian. Ulysses wasn't found until a little before the wedding and his interactions with Edgar seemed civil so I'm not counting him in that category. If we're going with the Devil's Trumpet as the murder weapon, Hannah and Ulysses would both have been able to plan with it since they're familiar with the plant. Isabel could have planned it with a readily available pill besides the adderall since by then she'd already started suspecting him of drugging her. Travis could have started planning from the moment he got the invite and started theorizing about the crypto scam. The wedding website mentions Hannah's garden so he could have already known there would be dangerous plants and researched some of them ahead of time.

Isabel’s Pills

Isabel was clearly unraveling after the death of her husband and it’s really creepy to witness. Like she’s lost all touch with reality and her behavior at the wedding is starting to make sense. Whoever called it that Edgar was trying to force her into a conservatorship was right! I’d say Edgar should pay for this but it looks like he already has! 🍻 Omg at the reveal that she actually was trying to help Grace and that she was actually on adderall the whole time. This makes her wedding speech really sad now that we know the context of it. Is this enough of a motive to kill Edgar? Yes. Plus she’s rich enough to get away with it. But I see Isabel as a fighter and someone who would have kept trying to find proof rather than a quick “fix” like that.

Edgar’s Bathrobe

As pointed out several times on Reddit, Edgar’s initials on his robe don’t match his actual initials (Edgar Alexander Minnows). And when Edgar finds Isabel wide awake at 4:30 in the morning once again we see EDM. This could very well be a red herring and I’m not going to bother trying to do an anagram because I bet you that between now and next week someone will have uncovered something.

Travis Being Nosy

As always Travis is in everybody’s business and I want to know WHY? Yes he lost his money in crypto and knew Edgar was a crook but he is too invested. I don’t think he murdered Edgar bc his death means he won’t get the answers he needs, but come on now. WAIT A MINUTE: Did we ever see Edgar and Travis interact the whole weekend? We saw Travis interact with Aniq, Hannah, Sebastian and Isabel but not Edgar. And he also did not mention socializing with Grace as well which is odd because wouldn’t you want to speak to your ex at some point at a wedding to give them well wishes if it ended on good terms? And have we even gotten confirmation from Grace that she was the one who invited him? Did he deliberately leave something out?

Two Ways to Win

Yet another Reddit theory confirmed! But just what does it mean? Who is it that has won twice?

Edgar Getting Drugged Multiple Times

Ok so the Reddit theory that everybody drugged Edgar at some point came true which is wild 😭 We’ve got the wedding cake, the adderall whisky, and the devil’s trumpet. But someone on Reddit thinks the pool could have poisoned him too so who knows?

My Final Guess on Who the Killer Is?

TRAVIS. He’s been playing dumb this whole time, had no reason to be at the wedding, and is inserting himself in as much of the investigation as he can. I wouldn’t be surprised if it turned out he lied and Edgar and Sebastian were the ones who scammed him out of Crypto.

I guess we'll just have to wait and see which of us are right next week when the finale airs! I'm really curious to see what the poll will look like by next Tuesday. If you haven't already, get your vote in! Until then, see you after the season finale.

[rayless-reblogs]

Dist?

Why I like them:

I really enjoy Liam O'Brien's voice work, especially in villain/smug roles, and his performance as Dist is great. Dist brings some excellent humor, but on a more thematic level, he really ties Jade's childhood into the narrative, moreso than Nephry and even Peony. I like that there's a sense that Jade could be like him, just as obsessed with the past, not caring about who he has to hurt to achieve his goal of restoring the professor. In fact, Jade has been like him, so in that way Dist gives an indirect look at a younger, more immature Jade. Just another reason to wish the game employed more flashbacks. On that note, I also like seeing him as a kid in the anime – I feel sorry for the little guy.

Why I don't:

His treatment in-game feels homophobic at times, and I feel like the game doesn't go far enough to humanize him. He's an object of pity, and we feel the weight of Jade's remorse on his, “Farewell, Saphir” line. But the game hasn't really allowed us to see that serious side of their past/relationship. I also wish the game had Dist piloting his machines when you fight them, because it would feel more direct and personal.

Favorite scene:

Maybe when he kidnaps Noelle? It's such a flip to suddenly see him as a credible villain, one who's even backed Jade into a corner.

Favorite line:

Oh, there's lots of good ones – “You're all just jealous of my beauty!”, him calling the team the Jade Gang, him referencing his revenge journal. But I'm a sap for melodramatic moments, I like the sort of sad vainglory in his “Professor Nebilim, I'm coming,” delivery.

Favorite outfit:

Has he gotten any other outfits in the escort titles? I think he's wearing a Malkuth uniform in some art, but I have to give the win to his sharp suit and feather collar.

OTP:

I don't have an otp for him, but when it comes to shipping him, who would I pick? I wasn't ever really on board with JadeDist because Jade always seemed to be completely dead-set against him. And not in a I'm trying to cover something up, baka sort of way, just a disgusted way. But then I read your ship manifesto and I realized that, in the words of Mrs Potts, there may be something there that wasn't there before. You make a really good case for Jade's treatment of him being singular and hinting at something deeper.

That being said, were I writing Dist and pairing him up, I think I'd probably lean towards a male OC who was fairly sweet and low-key because I feel like I'd want to see Dist being nurtured and taken care of after his messed-up twenties and thirties. But this unknown guy would also, like, have to be capable of not budging an inch, because Dist may end up reforming himself post-game, but he's still going to need some supervision.

BROTP:

We never really get any sense of what Peony's and Dist's dynamic is, so I'd love to see that explored. They both have rather showy, theatrical sides (and a disregard for convention), so I think they might get up to lots of wacky, potentially politically unsound hijinks.

Head Canon:

I haven't developed any, but I like the idea of him getting better after the game and helping with moving fomicry forward (in a more humane way).

Unpopular opinion:

I don't know of any?

A wish:

I think the guy needs to be taken care of. He needs a person, or people. I think he, like Luke and Natalia, desperately wants a feeling of permanence and connection, of being accepted and of knowing he's loved. For a long time, he got those feelings from Nebilim, and when she died, that was a huge psychological break. But he also got that from Jade, so he presumably was able to cope. But then Jade (in his mind) betrayed him, and then he's right off the deep end, prepared to kill most of humanity just to further his scientific (but mostly personal) goals. I think it's really sad that he probably thinks his best days are behind him in his childhood, so I want him to push on and be better and make good connections with people.

Please-don't-ever:

...leave him alone to freeze into a popsicle at Keterberg?

5 words:

obsessive, grandiose, innovative, fragile, lonely

My nickname for them:

None. At least I don't call him Dist the Runny.

[zimbardos]

I finished Infinite Jest.

(This post contains spoilers)

I'm proud of myself for doing it. And only in two months especially since English is far from being my native language. I used the Wiki to look up difficult words while reading.

I was very pleased with the ending. It was perfectly ambiguous enough to end there. I was sure Gately died in the hospital and got a flashback to his rock bottom, it seemed so open-ended in a good way.

And then I found out I was wrong about many things. I missed a lot of the plot (since it's not chronological or clear). It's definitely not spoon fed to you and you have to really research the timeline. I was extremely impressed at how the different plots connected to each other perfectly. It's so brilliant now that I get the inter-connectedness and the incredible Lost-style foreshadowing. I don't know how he did it. Nothing in the book is meaningless, everything serves a purpose and tells a bigger story. It's incredible.

I really feel like it was worth the effort. It was difficult but I feel so complete now in a way.

Infinite Jest really helped me on a personal level too, to come to terms with the way I see academic achievement. I watched the film The End of the Tour about two weeks before I started the book. I really loved the movie and I stayed up watching his interviews, discovered I like the way he looks at the world (keep in mind DFW obviously was a really shitty human being irl though) and I decided to order the book, which I rarely do (I don't really buy books before reading them because I often end up disappointed with the book and feel like I've wasted money on it). IJ came to me at a time in my life when I was very confused about achievement. I'm studying to become a clinical psychologist, in my country it's an extremely competitive, long and difficult journey where you're constantly evaluated and compare yourself to others. I thought a lot about how do I not care enough that if I fail on this journey my self esteem won't shatter, while simultaneously caring enough to work hard to achieve it.

During my first year, I was really anxious about getting on the Dean's List. No particular reason other the selfish need for affirmation that I was good (the fact that I NEED to be good to get to my dream job obviously contributed though so it's not all narcissism) an entire year of worrying about it intensely. A few days before I watched the movie, I got an email that I was on the Dean's List. Seeing my name there made me happy, but that high only lasted about 10 minutes. I was confused, sad and disappointed as to why the suffering was so long and the pay-off so short. I tried to make sense of it. Why wasn't I really happy? I naively thought I'd be happy when I get the email. My overall wellbeing during that year was great, but it had the caveat at the back of my mind of "This is good, but I'll be TRULY happy when I'm on the Dean's List". It didn't fulfill all my dreams. Is this what is going to happen to me when I become a psychologist? I saw videos of doctors who talked about finally getting to their M.D.s and realizing the day to day life as a doctor was just as gray and boring and grueling (obviously that doesn't mean that pursuing these careers isn't worthwhile, it's just not going to magically solve all your problems and you shouldn't look at it that way). It was scary in an existential way. A small crisis.

In the book, the Enfield Tennis Academy is a highly competitive place and they have a great philosophy that they try to teach the young players in order for them to be resilient to the difficult psychic struggles of being an athlete of this level. There's an emphasis on caring and not caring at the same time, not thinking about the potential future fame, only existing in the moment. I felt very validated and seen by Hal's struggle especially. DFW was deeply concerned with that kind of stuff. You hear from his interviews he was fascinated by the difficulty of dedicating your life to something and then failing (see also: "How Tracy Austin Broke My Heart").

The main thing I got from the book is to try to get to that point where you don't put all your eggs in the one basket of achievement, it alone won't bring you much happiness.

The achievement part is not the only reason to read the book. He also deals with entertainment in general (which is a whole 'nother conversation... especially since things in this regard are so much worse nowadays compared to the 90's when IJ was written. I would have loved his thoughts on how the internet changed the world. We live now more than ever in a world where you have the right to be entertained all the time, constantly, your mind never getting a moment of quiet for itself if you don't want it) and with drug addiction.

Anyway, it's a phenomenal book. I highly recommend it. I feel stronger now in my pursuit of personal academic milestones. I feel changed as a person, the way only truly great books can change you.

[dabihawksluvr]

(( They had reblogs off, so Imma give a link to the exact post ))

THIS ^^

The difference between Endeavor and Bakugou is like apples and pears (haha making a joke because they both have fire-based quirks).

Endeavor kept up the abuse until he was forced to be #1, and after that he really didn't 'redeem' himself. He just got sad, blamed himself, and so easily gave up when he had the opportunity to show his true worth by standing on his own two feet. But instead, his family (esp Shoto) had to stand by him because he didn't have the spine to stop being a little bitch. And in the end, he just moped around in a wheelchair for the rest of his life. His life had no worth in it the moment he decided to neglect Touya (before that I could understand him wanting more kids because he wasn't abusing any of them yet but after Touya got neglected by him he became a villain to his own family). He could have (and should have) done better, instead of becoming a villain in hero's disguise he should've learned to do far better for his other kids than be a sad sack of shit over his mistakes causing Touya's death.

But Bakugou? Yes, he did bully Izuku to the point of telling him to go kill himself. He did torment him for years, simply for being quirkless. But we see him get his ass handed to not only by Izuku himself, but the rest of the class puts him in his place immediately. We see him struggle with the realization that he is not all that great, and confronting his own damn ego especially with how it centers around Izuku. And you know what? He realizes what he wants out of the relationship, and in the end actually truly discovers that he fuck up badly. We see him do all this on his own, he didn't really need that push because Bakugou is not a little bitch. Yes, his ego and temper get in the way still. But at least he didn't give up, the boy literally lost his heart and died during the war yet instead of staying in the hospital he rushes back to help Izuku fight. And he actually confronts all that he did to Izuku, not even asking for forgiveness despite the good broccoli boy giving it to him a million times over.

Endeavor didn't do enough to deserve that redemption he is so heavily pleading for, and YES he is asking for it to happen as if he 'deserves' it so he can wallow in his misery. But Bakugou, he's done more than enough - and he didn't even ask for anything in return, he's just accepting what he did and moving on to do better.

It's why I am a Bakugou Kin - I believe that, despite how one fucks up, they can still achieve atonement even if they don't want it. The difference is, I've also seen the side where one will wallow in self-pity and expect that atonement to happen because they ask for it. And I NEVER want to end up like that, I want to actually be like Bakugou and face this issues I have instead of being a little bitch about it.

[dangan-infinity]

The Loss of Support - Chapter 2 Post

The occasional clang still echoed down the tunnels as you wearily searched for another vein of "ore". How were you even supposed to figure out the best locations, logically? This was not, you were pretty darn sure, how mirrors were actually made in the real world.

All you could do was investigate the walls and conserve whatever energy you could afford to. The lack of food was really wearing on you now. But with the lot of you split up among the different tunnels, surely someone would find what you needed. Whether it was someone in condition to mine it out, well. One step at a time.

Clang, drip, your own tired footsteps... Every sound seemed to wear you down further.

At least, until the cacophony of falling rocks. When you took from nature, you should not have been surprised when it decided to take something back.

Jolted more awake, it still took you a panicked second to determine it wasn't happening around you. But was it coming this way? Had you heard a yell, or was it just someone's startled reaction? No matter your rationale, you found yourself hurrying back to the mine's center chamber. Between you and the others that had gathered, it didn't take long for someone to point out the clattering of rocks down another tunnel. You followed, though you weren't sure you wanted to go too far in here...

“Oh, f-ck–!”

Though one soul had ventured too far. Maybe by chance. Maybe by fate. Maybe by some other design, Viper had made her way in too deep. The rocks rushed to meet her, but some other force, moving faster than you could think, had made its move first, pushing her harshly. She was sent flying, away from danger. Away from the rocks that wished to get up close and personal. She let out a yelp as she skidded across rock, hitting the floor hard. Whether you thought the sight of her on the ground was karmic, or amusing, or just relieving, the rocks tumbled down, down, down… away from her.

Wide-eyed and certainly terrified, she could only watch as the rocks fell. As the place where she had stood just moments earlier was crushed by the falling boulders. If it had just been a moment later...

Splinters of a supporting frame lay scattered among the dislodged rock. A large silvery gleam made you think someone had at least struck it rich here before the collapse—until you realized what it actually was.

Or who it actually was.

Pinned handily beneath the slowly crushing weight of stone was R.N.A. Surely as the largest among you they had some hope of strong-arming their way out—but it wasn't looking hopeful. 

“I… I appear to be stuck…” The robot said, tone still calm and soft, even in a situation seeming so dire. “I’m… sorry. I didn’t mean… To worry you all.”

There were those of you already surging forward to help before they'd finished speaking. The other supports seemed perfectly stable, so if you could just move one rock out of the way at a time... If R.N.A. could just hang in there until enough of the weight was off of them...

But you were all weary enough to begin with, and so few of you had the strength to contribute without even accounting for injuries. Even with the rockfall stopped, your progress was nonexistent. 

“Stop… You have to… get back. It might… there might be a second falling… you might get buried.” There was the sound of the robot shuffling. “I think… I think I can get… out if I just…” There was the futile struggling of a robot who had been bested. Metal scissors that could not beat rock. You could hear some of the rocks shuffling… shifting.

You heard a creak of metal.

“In truth… I’m… scared… I feel… human… right now… But I don’t know why… Is… Is Viper okay… I can’t see. I can’t see her… But I got her… out of the way. Because I want… my friends… to get off the train. All of you… I know there has to… be a better way off the train. A way… away from killing… Even… Jack could have. The train doesn’t… make him happy… it just lets him… forget how sad he is.”

Maybe that was rude. But R.N.A believed everyone could escape. That there was salvation and a way back to life for them all.

“I’m safe–” There’s a weak, wavering reply from behind those who had rushed forward to try and help, as Viper tried to wobble to her feet, her gaze fixed on the robot being crushed beneath the stone prison.

“...I don’t… I don’t know if I can escape… I have… one more idea…”

Just enough chips of rock sprinkled down from above that even the most desperately striving among you finally backed away. R.N.A.'s metal joints groaned under the pressure. A few more rocks hit. A crack split their digital face, and the light sputtered out.

They didn't speak again.

The ensuing shocked silence was only broken by a faint echoing drip from some other tunnel. Then some of you finally heard a mechanical whir—but R.N.A. hadn't moved. Your hope evaporated all over again as Neko-Neko strode up to the rock pile.

"Are... Are they all right?"

The cat rapped a not-so-soft paw on the side of R.N.A.'s head. The resulting clang made a few of you flinch.

"Nothin' but an empty shell here."

They turned on the rest of you.

"We'd be happy to congratulate the murderer on a job well done, if we had one!"

"Please at least play the game, nya... Even if we lose Passengers, I can't guide anyone back home if you aren't following the rules."

With a shake of their head(s), they left R.N.A.'s lifeless face display behind.

First Jack, now this? You were hoping this horrible game would end... but not from everyone just dying off of their own accords first. And how safe were you? If you had just been in this tunnel instead of a different one...

Maybe killing to go home wasn't that terrible an idea after all.

[Forum Post]

[fandomdancer]

Gloves Off

A few months ago I left social media because I was realizing that I was posting on five different sites (Facebook, Tumblr, Instagram, Twitter, and Discord), and getting almost no responses to things I would say or questions I would ask. The only way to get someone to interact with me was to deliberately call them out. Even when I posted needing help or expressing frustration, it was exceedingly rare that someone would actually reply to me in any way.

I have slowly made my way back and discovered that the same is still true. A few people responded quickly when I posted but now it's dropped off again.

So...I'm going to try something radical. I'm going to start posting personal things here. Since it seems like no one cares or cares enough to respond, I will assume people aren't really reading this either. So it shouldn't matter what I put. At least it'll help me get stuff out of my head.

Last night, I had a dream. It was a typical dream for me...I commonly dream about 'first days', such as first days of work or school. I am usually filled with excitement at the 'newness' of everything, but mixed in is a general sense of unease and discomfort because I can't figure out where I need to go or what I need to do. I'm usually late, running around, trying to find someone or something to help me, and I eventually wake up or leave the situation feeling uncomfortable and hoping the next day is better.

I also dream about 'last days' and this was that kind of dream. For a 'last day' dream, it's usually the last day of school or camp, something where I have made friends or gotten a romantic interest but now it's over and we all have to go away. There's an anxiety in the air, a feeling of losing friends and wondering if we will all see each other again. There's also a pressure, a rush to get things done and close all the loops, so to speak, before finally going home.

In the dream last night, it was the last day of a camp or convention that I was at. I was with two other girls, and we were all close - we'd met during the time we had been there but we were great friends. However, one of the girls had said she wasn't coming back next year, and so we were preparing to say goodbye to her 'forever' (there's never a sense of 'I'll write you', it's always 'probably never again' in these dreams). As we walked and talked, we passed by other 'dorms' where actors were staying. The actors had been in the camp with us, teaching and hanging out with us. It was all very chill, we weren't 'starstruck', but we WERE planning on getting autographs and pictures before leaving, and the actors knew this and were okay with it.

One of the actors (there's still an odd part of me that worries someone will read this and judge me so I won't say who, let's just say he is older and was popular in the 90s) and I had apparently gotten close because I remember when I looked at him, I felt an extreme warmth blossom in my chest, that feeling of affection and familiarity with someone you know well. It wasn't romantic...not really. That feeling was reserved for a different actor I saw a moment later, (still older but not as old, and popular in the 80s and 90s) that sort of tense excitement of looking at That Person and wondering if They Like You Too. Both actors were packing up and getting ready to go so the three of us thought it was inappropriate to bug them for photos and autographs yet. We decided to wait.

While we were waiting, the camp or convention was being broken down, and eventually we were pushed out of our waiting spot to various locations around the dorms or hotel or wherever it was we were. (My brain doesn't always fill in location like that). Everywhere we went, things were being taken down and apart and people were packing and leaving, and the general sense of sadness grew as the time got closer for us to go. Eventually, we were pushed so far away that we had to start walking back to our own 'dorms' to pick up our stuff and get on the bus to go to the airport.

Here's where the dream got odd.

As we were walking back, I saw a shuttle pulling out, and in the shuttle I saw the two actors we had planned to meet. Instead of feeling like I missed out on a chance for a photo and autograph, I suddenly felt like someone I cared about deeply was going away forever, and there would be no contact ever again. To my shock, I saw the actor I had felt familiar with press his hand to the glass of the window, his face frantic as he looked at me, and it was honestly like something out of a movie, both of us raising our hands to wave, me starting to cry, and our eyes just locked on each other as the van drove by. Then, suddenly, the van stopped and the door opened and I ran over there. He got out of the van and we flung our arms around each other.

I was sobbing really hard into his jacket and he was petting my back and murmuring things to me that I don't remember (I WISH I did, I don't remember what I was saying to him either). He was trying to be comforting and soothing I think, but he was holding on to me as tightly as I was holding on to him. None of the other people in the van looked bothered by what was going on, in fact a couple of them looked sad, like they knew or understood what was happening. I heard my girlfriends talking to others behind me but it was really all about this one actor and I, saying goodbye. His jacket was a little rough, a synthetic material, and he was warm. He smelled like the hotel we had been in, that kind of warm, welcoming, clean scent that's like a mix of flowers and linen, and a bit musky.

We eventually drew apart and he wiped a couple of tears from my eyes before getting back in the van. As he did, the other actor I had wanted to meet (the one I felt a little romantic to), climbed into the seat right by the door. He was now only inches away from me, and I had the opportunity to say goodbye to him and tell him how much I appreciated his work and thank him. But after I did that...he ignored me. He didn't look at me once, or even seem to realize I was there. He just stared straight ahead with this blank, angry look on his face. He didn't say a word. He didn't blink. He just stared. I felt so incredibly sick watching him, like I had done something horribly wrong.

And the van door closed and the vehicle drove off - and I woke up.

The whole experience left me feeling wrung out and shaken up. Even though I know it was a dream, I still feel like I did something wrong and I still feel like I lost someone important. The first thing I did when I woke up this morning was make sure both actors are still alive (they are), but I'm still sitting here at work wanting to cry because I can't fix whatever I did wrong - and I know I'll probably never get an opportunity to meet at least one of the actors (the one I was familiar with), so that goodbye might be the only chance I get to interact with him...and it wasn't even a real interaction.

I may have a chance at meeting the other actor...and I doubt it will go as badly as the dream. He's a pretty cool guy from what I've heard. I'm just annoyed my brain painted him in that light. I guess my insecurities are free to roam and take over when I'm asleep. I'm extremely insecure and worried about first impressions. Comes with the autism.

Pictures are of the actors around the ages in my dream.

[jslittlebirdie]

Here Without You

Pairing: Soft!Ledger!Joker x Reader

Summary: Your last days have been really bad and exhausting. There are always new problems you have to take care of, you feel tired and burnt out, and on top of that, J hasn't shown up for several days. That was until today.

Word count: 1,344

Genre: probably a bit angsty / fluffy comfort / self-insert

Warnings: Reader has a bad day, low self esteem

Notes: A very big thank you to my dearest best friend @fan-of-pretty-much-2-much for encouraging me to post this fic. What would I do without you, your support and love? I own you so much🥺😭 Also, thank you so incredibly much for this simply beautiful title💜

Well, this fic is a total self-insert😅 I basically wrote it for myself as a comfort. So it's probably too cheesy and my characterization of J is way too soft and ooc. But maybe someone will like it anyway, I don't know. So read at your own risk lol🙈 Also, the text is unedited and English is not my first language, so I apologize for any mistakes.

Taglist: @ajokeformur-ray @sacredempressnatlyia @rommies

It had been days now since you last saw your clown. News reports were your only clues as to his whereabouts and well-being. You didn't blame him, he was a busy man - a free man who came and went as he pleased - and you wouldn't keep him from his business. Even though, if you were honest, you would love to not let him leave your apartment ever again, and instead keep him with you where you knew he was safe; not that he couldn't take care of himself.

But you missed him terribly. And on top of that, your doubts and insecurities were getting worse with each passing day. You probably weren't good enough for him, too boring and annoying with all your worries. Would he ever come back to you? Was he tired of you? Had you perhaps upset him without knowing it?

And today... Today was a particularly bad day. Already early in the morning the day had started with bad news, new things you had to take care of. Problems kept coming up, there just seemed to be no end in sight. Once you had taken care of one thing, two new things popped up. You felt overwhelmed, burned out and tired. You longed for a break. You longed for him.

A familiar noise. But you only heard it very distantly. You were far too lost in your sad and gloomy thoughts. You sat on your bed and stared at the wall. Your eyes hurt because you tried to hold back your tears as hard as you could, even though you knew it was wrong. But you wanted to stay strong, not show any weakness.

The noise came closer, heavy footsteps. The door to your room cracked open and a face painted with makeup peered in, looking for you. When J spotted you, he grinned mischievously. But his good mood soon changed when he saw you in this miserable state. He immediately noticed that something was wrong, even if he didn't quite know what it was yet. So he entered your room without waiting for you to give him your permission. And even when J stood right in front of you and looked at you with his beautiful dark eyes, which actually showed a hint of concern, you hardly reacted, which admittedly only worried him more. Because you normally ran up to him at the first sign of his presence. But today was... different. And he didn't like it at all.

"What's the matter, toots, hm? I'm back, I'm here."

You stared at him, but you couldn't see him. You hadn't quite realized yet that he was truly standing in front of you. It seemed more like your mind was playing a trick on you - an evil trick to torture you even more. "I'm so sorry, J," you finally uttered. It wasn't so much directed at him as you were talking to yourself.

"You're sorry for what?" He frowned thoughtfully. He couldn't remember anything you had done that you needed to apologize for. But it wasn't a surprise that you apologized in the first place. You apologized for the smallest things, sometimes even for apologizing. But this time, he was a little bit confused.

"I don't know. That I annoyed you with... with me being the way I am. I don't know, okay?!" That was the moment you snapped back to reality. You saw him. Standing in front of you, in his usual slightly bent posture, his head tilted to one side as he tried to figure things out. And that's when you couldn't hold back your tears any longer.

Intuitively, J leaned down towards you and reached out to cup your face with his gloved hands. But you flinched away from him, too ashamed and insecure. "No, J. Don't!"

But he didn't let that stop him. Even though you had said the exact opposite, he could tell by the look in your eyes how much you wanted him. And it caused a strange feeling to rise in his chest - he wasn't sure what to think of it, so he just shrugged it off and focused all of his attention back on you. He sat down next to you, wrapped his arms around your body that was trembling with tension, and gently pulled you to him. This time you let it happen; the second he touched you, you were like putty in his hands. Moments later you found yourself on his lap and you couldn't help but cling to him as tightly as you could, your tear-streaked face buried in his broad chest, inhaling his scent between heavy sobs - a mixture of burnt rubber, gasoline and sweat (he had been out there for days, of course, he hadn't had time to worry about such trivialities) and something so specifically J that your heart ached. Oh, how much you had missed him. All you wanted and needed was him. Your J. It was kind of ironic. While others ran away from him in sheer panic, you longed for him. You had never been like others, you saw so much more in him than just a criminal. To you, he was your charming, sometimes pretty grumpy, but still in his own special way caring and loving clown - but you better not say this out loud. You just loved him. This realization hit you so hard that a new wave of emotions washed over you.

"Shush. I'm here, I gotcha." He shifted beneath you, loosening his grip around you, causing you to sigh in frustration. Rustling of expensive material and then suddenly you felt all warm - he had wrapped you in his royal purple coat and then put his arms around you again like a vice. You were in the warmest, safest embrace you could ever think of. Immediately, your body relaxed, your trembling finally subsided. You listened to his steady heartbeat and mimicked his breathing. J hummed and smiled to himself as he noticed your reaction.

When you finally felt calm enough, you lifted your face off of him so you could look at him; your eyes were bloodshot and dark rings stood out beneath them. He hated to see you like this, but he said nothing; he waited until you were ready to talk. And you were ready. You took a deep breath and finally murmured, "Today was just a shitty day. There's so much to do and it seems to never get any less. Everything is too much. And I... I missed you so much... I thought you weren't coming back."

"But here I am, right?" He squeezed you a little tighter to put emphasis on his words. "I know you've got a lot going on right now. But ya got this, toots. You're tougher than you think you are. Aaand..." A huge and devious grin formed on his lips. You could literally see him thinking about all the things he had done in the past few days. "I need to lay a little low for the next few days."

"Yeah, I picked up something like this on the news. What is it this time?" You're no longer able to suppress a weak giggle. And a yawn. You were so very tired and exhausted, you hadn't slept well since J left, when he wasn't by your side. But now that you were cocooned in his protective warmth... Your eyes grew heavier and heavier. "So does this mean you're staying home, J?"

"I'm not going anywhere, sweets." He moved you both on the bed until you were in a lying position, you still on top of him wrapped in his coat. Even though he would never admit it, he had missed you too. And holding you in his arms like that - feeling you, knowing you were safe and relaxed - made him aware of his own exhaustion. He pressed a sloppy kiss to your forehead, leaving a beautiful reminder for you when you woke up in the morning, and then closed his eyes himself.

[skiyoosmi]

post-break up heartaches

verse 1. in the car that used to drive us to our home

⤷ kuroo tetsurou, oikawa tooru — more characters coming soon

⤷ verse 2 | verse 3

⤷ play. never let me go by ghostly kisses, forget about us by clinton kane

commissions: open

⇢ KUROO sighs for the umpteenth time of the day. he was so fucking exhausted and his body's about to give in to sleep any moment now. work has been beating his ass; there was this newbie who kept on messing up the documents needed by the board and for the whole day, he had to be the one to fix said issues. it's not like he wasn't paid enough for that; if anything, his paycheck was one of the most beautiful things he laid his eyes on— but god, even his body has its own limits and yet...

"ya.... yer not supposed to do this anymore. y-ya left me, remember?" you slurred, index finger pointing right at his chest as he circled his arms around your waist, huffing as you practically dropped all your weight on him. here he was, suddenly given the task of having to take you home after your supposed-to-be designated driver, miya fucking atsumu, also drank his brains out with you.

"be patient. still heartbroken because of you, y'know?" kenma softly tells him despite the tipsy feeling lurking in the back of his mind, shaking his head as he looked at you, whose system finally shut down and were now dozing off in the black haired man's arms.

"..... still?" he mumbles, looking down at your figure and he feels his heart contract with pain all over again.

"you can't expect her to be fine immediately, kuroo. it was your wedding day, supposed to be the greatest day of her life and yet it became the worst one... you left her at the altar alone."

he didn't reply anything— or rather, he was unable to. because what can he say to refute the truth? nothing. instead, he proceeded to his car with you still in his hold. he places you on the passenger seat, locking the seatbelts before jogging to the driver's side.

the car ride was calm as you slept soundly with your head occasionally hitting the window lightly as it swayed from side to side. he was sure as hell that if you were sober right now, you wouldn't even have the thought of seeing him cross your mind. he just knows for sure that you despise him with your whole being... at least, that's what he thought until...

"i'm sorry, tetsu. please come back," you whimper in your seat, voice quiet but he heard it nonetheless, "tell me what i did wrong so i can fix it."

the pitiful sounds and mumbles you made struck kuroo right in the heart and which makes him pull over an empty but safe road, just a block away from your (previously shared) apartment. looking over your form, he finds himself reaching out to touch your face, caressing your cheeks as drops of tears fell down slowly on them, "you didn't do anything wrong. you were fine. you were so perfect."

you squint your eyes at him, probably wondering if this was real or just a part of your drunken imagination. nonetheless, you hiccuped, "y-you... you left me and i... i still can't even bring myself to hate you... i just wanna ask you why? i just want to understand."

he thought he also knew the reason why but every single time he thinks about it, he's only led to one conclusion: because he was a coward. no way was this any of your fault— it's definitely not your fault that right at that moment, as he stared at the mirror, wearing the black suit you chose for him, the sudden fear of commitment loomed over him. it's not like it was your fault he suddenly got scared of losing you the way his parents lost each other. but now he thinks it's ironic, because he lost you anyway.

maybe... just maybe, if he had just met you where you stood at the altar, instead of leaving you alone in it, maybe he would've been happier. maybe his days would've started more with a smile from you as you helped him fix his necktie before going to work. maybe, the working hours he spends in the shitty corporate world would've been more worth it if it meant he can come home to you at the end of the day. maybe... maybe he wouldn't have to be stuck with this lump in his throat as he wonders what could've been happening if he just chose to show up and vowed his life to you.

but he didn't.

"i realized i wasn't just ready to tie my life with anyone yet. that's all there is to it, yn."

so with a heavy feeling stuck in his chest and a quiet promise to never see you again for the sake of not hurting you further, he starts the car's engine again, ignoring the words you replied but he was sure they will haunt him for a very long time... again.

i can wait for you no matter how long it takes, tetsu, you know that.

⇢ OIKAWA gives you what seems like a guilty smile as he stands in front of you, opening his arms and gesturing you to come closer. but the stoic expression on your face takes him back to the reality that the last thing you wanted to do today was to actually fetch him from the airport. it just so happens that his three best friends were caught up with work that they had no choice but to send you, the main ex-bestfriend slash ex-girlfriend, to him.

why did you agree when you practically loathe him with your whole being? well, it was probably because you weren't the devil who would reject your friends when they were literally on their knees as they begged you and for some reason, you thought he'll look pitiful going back to his home country after five years with no one to welcome him. yeah, that's it. it's not like you're still in love with him or anything.

"my car's just around the corner," you begrudgingly walk towards the car park with him quietly following. at the moment, he knew better than to get on your nerves or else there would be war. he hates that this happened to the both of you but he can't blame anyone else but himself. because who wouldn't hate their ex-boyfriend if they suddenly broke up with them over a phone call?

tension filled the car as you both sat beside each other. perhaps, this was what other people were talking about when they say that it's impossible for exes to be friends again, to not feel any awkwardness because you were sure as hell that the word "awkward" was an understatement of your situation right now. nevertheless, your eyes couldn't help but wander to his figure as he adjusted his body, opting for a more comfortable position in the passenger's seat.

he looked more youthful and you felt bittersweet— proud that his whole aura screams of "success" which meant that gone were the days where he longed to get that winter cup trophy, nor the times when he overworked himself and put a strain on his knee which led to countless arguments with you. if anything, he looked happier and it sucks because you're not even close to feeling that way... not without him.

"i heard you've finally gotten yourself your own condominium? that's great, yn!" he exclaimed as soon as you began driving to your destination, a hope lit within him that maybe you might just respond to him. just one smile, that's all i need, he thinks.

but you remain focused on your driving, choosing to reply with a single nod and a soft "yeah..."

disappointment fills his heart as he faces the truth that your relationship has really been ruined, along with your friendship. all because he was foolish to think that he couldn't handle the physical distance between you two. realization dawns upon him that he just made that same distance worse as you pull your heart further away from him.

"... i actually bought it for the two of us, you know?" he whips his head to your direction in surprise, heart clenching as he watch you let out a sad chuckle, "i just... i thought it would be nice if we had a place to permanently stay at and for you to have a home to go to when you're at japan. but yeah... i guess things doesn't go our way sometimes, does it?"

"i'm sor—"

"it's okay. i'm fine now," you quickly reply, shaking your head but keeping your eyes on the road. he tries to ignore the tears that start to form in them because he has no right to stop them, knowing full well that he was the one who caused them in the first place.

as if on cue, you halt your vehicle in front of a familiar apartment and much to your dismay, you find yourself looking back in the past when you used to live in that same place, making wonderful memories with the chocolate haired lad with you. you clear your throat to stop the sob that desperately attempts to escape your throat, "uhm... we're here."

"oh, yeah. we're here," he numbly states, already missing you despite the mere inches of space separating the two of you. you just felt so far away and he hates it. but this was the path he chose so he gets out of your car along with his things, turning to you once more, "uhh... thanks for the ride, yn. i know you probably hate me but yeah... it's very nice of you to put that past us and i guess i just want to say sorry for hurting you... i just..."

"i don't hate you, tooru," you softly tell him, "i just don't want anything to do with you anymore. to see you this happy, without me, is like a slap in the face because i'm not. it still hurts and i'm not fine. i just hope this will be the last time we'll see each other. be safe on your trip back to argentina. welcome home."

and with that, you start the car's engine again, no longer having the energy nor the strength to hear his reply. but he wishes you did because as he watches your car drive further away from him, he can't help but wish that he can take back time so that you don't have to go to that condominium and instead, go inside the home you once shared with him.

but i'm not happy, yn. because how could i call this place my home when you're not here with me?

at that moment, unbeknownst to the two hearts that long for each other break at the same time, you finally let out the tears and cries that you've been keeping since you saw him, knowing that no matter how much you try, you'll never be as happy as you were with him— simply because he left you with a hole in your heart that no one else can fill.

© SKIYOOSMI, 2021. reposting, translating, editing, copying and any kind of plagiarism are strictly prohibited, thank you.

[purityoflust]

The Smile [Jeff The Killer X Victim!Reader] [PART 2]

Jeff the killer X Victim!

WARNING: Yandere. That's it. Yandere.

I finally decided how I would write part 2 to The Smile, which is my first and most popular post on my account so far. Anyone new who has come to read this, check out my other posts as well if you'd like. I'll post more like this. I also have a Quotev account with more fanfictions.

9/12/20, 3/4 days after the top part: God, AFTER SO LONG, I FINALLY DID IT! Took me days! I'm so sorry if this is a bit lazy, it is a tiny bit rushed by the end but how would you guys feel about a detailed part 3? I'll probably go as far as a part 3 or part 4 for the final part.

The vibrations in your brain felt warm and numbing - almost like when you have a horrible migraine and you can finally feel it subsiding with your eyes closed and your fingers gently holding down onto your eyelids as if you're holding your eyes into place to prevent them from bursting out of your skull. Upon waking up you can feel cold air settling into your skin. You haven't been awake 3 minutes and you already know what you're resting on; an extremely uncomfortable metal table. You've only seen them in movies but this was real.

The sound of a singsong voice just slightly echoing through what seemed like a moderately empty room. You groaned softly as you turned your head to your right, very slowly opening your eyes. Your vision blurred in and out, which, you wanted to rub to clear it out but as you went to lift your wrists, you felt pressure around them.

Something was holding your arms down. This catches your attention, blinking multiple times while turning your head back up straight and attempting to sit up. You were hardly successful with that, struggling while grunting under your breath to pull your hands from under what seemed to be a thick rope. As you pulled harder, you sucked in your stomach out of habit before immediately coming to a halt and choking up in pain.

This whole time you were ignoring the voice that was singing eerily nearby, "You and me, always forever~"

The voice was of a male. Scratchy, shaky. Familiar.

Familiar.

You could feel a string of your heart pop out of place as your breath stopped. That's when you knew something was wrong, but it just doesn't add up. You gulp while your eyeballs vigorously glance around to see where the source was coming from, only to see a figure in a corner. It was doubled over and it was sitting down on a simple wooden chair. Doubling over a...table? An average male figure, nothing unique. Although, the clothing style was unusual. At least what was on the clothes. He wore a fluffy white hoodie and what seemed to be black pants and black-and-white converse. The problem wasn't the outfit, no. His hoodie was spotted and had patterns upon patterns of darkened and more fresh-looking blood splatter. He had long black hair down to his shoulders. And luckily, his back was facing you.

You were dumbfounded. How did you get here, why are you restrained, and why is there a blood covered man near you? Is that even blood? Maybe it's paint or a design? Some people do wear clothes that have different kinds of blood splatter designs on them. Hm. Or he's an actual murderer about to gut you like a fish.

You wanted to speak. You wanted to speak so badly but you just couldn't. As you parted your lips, your throat went dry while your gaze stayed locked onto the bloody male that sat before you. The singing made you shiver as you tried so hard to remember where you could have heard or seen him. Why can't you remember?

The male then turned around to look at you. His singing had come to a gentle halt. Your mouth closed as he did so, your throat going completely dry and your whole body feeling like an ice cube. You were greeted with cold blue eyes. They looked hungry and bloodthirsty, yet they held a warm affection as they looked into your traumatized eyes. It was almost comforting until you saw the rest of his face. His skin was snow white and his lips looked dry. That's when more attention is drawn to his lower jaw. He's smiling. Too big for a normal person.

That's when you realize. He has a large smile carved into his cheeks going from ear to ear while his own lips were curled within a smile as well. And that's when it hits you.

And it hits you hard.

The memories of hours prior start brutally crashing into you, flooding back into your numb brain. All of the realization replaced itself with agonizing anxiety, your heart starting to race at speeds that felt impossible. You could pass out, but something inside you kept you awake. Something about him and about this whole situation was making you dizzy. The male slowly stands and turns his body all the way to face you. He seemed deranged, yet, he had a very relaxed stance and body language.

Uncomfortable silence loomed in the air.

He kept staring at you before slowly taking steps forward. You watch him carefully as your head feels like it's spinning, which you could notice your vision blurring a little bit here and there. The silence is suddenly disturbed with the male speaking up again, choking up in giggles. "Oh my sweet Y/N, you're awake~" He cooed, now standing over you. He leaned himself down and reached his hand to your cheek, gently brushing your skin with his surprisingly soft thumb. He leaned his face closer to yours. The smell of booze, blood, & smoke overwhelmed your nostrils. Yet it didn't seem to bother you that much.

His touch almost kind of made you feel...at ease. Your heart slowed itself and your breathing went back to pace. You felt fine, somewhat, but something in your stomach was still sore. The more you stare at him, the more memories come flooding back. The more memories flooding back, the easier you fit the puzzles together.

"M-my...stomach..--" You stutter out painfully.

In response to this, the male turned his head over to your abdomen and gently rested his other hand onto your bandaged stomach, applying very gentle pressure on it as to not hurt you. It was still slightly painful, causing you to groan under your breath.

"Oh, this...I'm sorry, my sweet butterfly. I had to make sure you wouldn't get away, and you didn't! Don't worry, Jack patched you up, so you'll be just fine!"

You remember now. You remember it all. The chase, your friend, the salty kiss before what you thought was your demise.

You naturally wondered as well; who's Jack?

"Wh-.." You weakly force air out of your throat again to speak, "why am I..tied-?"

"Oh, so you wouldn't be able to get away. I knew you would run away, or struggles, so I had to make sure you wouldn't do that!"

He was right. You would run away and struggle to get out of whatever the hell kind of place you're in. Well, knowing what he looks like. He DID stab you, after all. Who knows what this sicko wants.

He lifts his hand from your stomach and turns back to you, gently placing both of his hands at each side of your face. "You're so beautiful, Y/N. So sweet and so innocent. I couldn't keep letting the others eat you up like candy. You're mine and only mine. I need to protect you."

"Wh-who- are you?" You weren't really all too scared for some strange reason now. You were pretty calm. Probably from all of the energy this is draining.

"His name is Jeff." A deep and gruff voice cuts in.

The both of you turn your heads to the door of the room where a tall figure in all black stood. He was about 6"4 wearing heavy boots, black jeans, and a black hoodie. His hair was a dark brown though while he wore a mask. The mask was a dark blue with black goo oozing from the eyesockets. He was pretty intimidating even just by standing idly like a character waiting to be loaded in.

"And I'm Jack." He continued, "I'm the one who took care of your wound."

Jack stepped closer, soon standing at the other side of the table. He stood at the left as Jeff stood at the right.

"He wouldn't stop insisting I help."

You just blink, unknowing of what to respond with. He pursed his lips under his dark mask, in his own thought for a moment while staring down at you. You seemed calm enough, and your still pretty fresh injury was gonna hold you back anyway.

"[P]-[Pronoun]'s gonna-!" He attempts to blurt out, only to be stopped by you.

"I won't."

You were untied at your wrists and ankles, allowing yourself to pull your legs up and rest your feet at the top of the table, propping your knees up. It made your stomach feel weird, but it felt kind of nose and felt like it was easing the pain. You wrapped your arms around your knees, looking around the room more. "What is this place?" You ask.

"It's a medical room."

"Huh.." You shrug it off. Your anxiety levels had died down and the more you actually think about it, this isn't the worst thing that's happened. Your life has been pretty fucked up and you have damaged relationships everywhere. Honestly, being around new people and being far away from others sounds not too bad right now. Not like anyone would care anyway.

The next few hours, you're introduced to everyone else at the Mansion. They've been so...unique and honestly, you're surprised some people and beings like them even exist. They were all equally surprised with how little fear you showed.

You actually got along with most of them.

The others have taken a liking to you and hope you hang around longer. Alone in the living room, you, Jeff, Jack, and others sit at the couches and chairs in the living room, chatting away and getting to know them as they get to know you.

You feel Jeff wrap his arms around you and place a gentle kiss on your forehead, making your heart skip a beat.

You found out Jeff has been stalking you for months at a time. Watching your every move, eliminating anyone in the way. Huh, no wonder so many people in your life kept disappearing. You...couldn't bring yourself to be upset or scared, let alone even sad. You felt kind of at ease.

And far from uncomfortable. Someone loved you. Maybe more than they should, but they love you.

You didn't even feel upset at the fact Jeff had murdered that friend earlier. I mean, you just met the guy, so he wasn't even a 'friend'? So you paid no mind to it.

If anything, you really liked the thrill of someone being obsessed with you. A serial killer being so infatuated with you. He could be so protective of you and get rid of anyone you asked him to! There's is an advantage here. You knew he could snap and probably kill you intentionally or unintentionally, but you didn't mind. You really had no one else, technically speaking. No one that really cared. Not as much as he did.

Maybe he isn't so bad.