Danny fake guardian angel au
You know how sometimes it’s highlighted how you have to be very careful on what you say in the presence of a spirit because they can twist your words and end up bidding yourself to it?? well uno-reverse-card the spirit also has to be careful on what he says because when Danny had said he owed the dude one for coming to his rescue in a gala Vlad had dragged him to, he didn’t expect that to be taken literally.
danny: wait seriously?? i literally say that all the time!
cw: not after being crowned ghost king, you haven’t
danny: but—but I was also human when I said it. doesn’t that protect me or smth
cw: *shakes his head*
danny:
danny: omg this is a nightmare
cue timmy’s brucequest period (cuz he’s the guy) being so high strung and tired, he just wants some company, which is a so low stakes thing to want the deal Danny unintentionally goes sure we can do that and pulls him towards the guy, despite Timmy never outright saying he wants company. (tim always speaks in the sanctity of his own mind, not out loud)
So. random spirit manifesting. Tim going all who the fuck are u
and Danny panicking and saying your guardian angel
Tim not being impressed while Danny promptly blushes like a moron because that did not come off as he wanted it to.
Yes accidental dead tired where the dynamic goes from Tim trying to shake this probably demon that somehow latched to him being all like ??? dude leave me alone, and Danny being there like bitch i’m trying
to
huh. im actually being protected by a spirit like he said he would. he’s strangely an idiot but also he’s overpowered and just never leaves my side which he says it’s an angel obligation but I think it’s bullshit but also hoping it’s not because it appeals to my crippling fear of abandonment (anyways he really seems to take after those little cartoon angels that poof into your shoulder to keep from me doing wrong decisions) translate into my future boyfriend seems increasingly appalled to what i am up to
meanwhile danny
Bitch you better thank your god I’m dead because otherwise I would already been killed. I did not sign up for a assassins what the fuck I thought you were a normal civilian not a literal superhero and omg that is a fruitloop. no no back off you wrinkly raisin this is my emotional support idiot you can’t have him and what do you mean you’re messing with time whatever this way I can get back to clockwork—
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Charlie: "Vaggie?"
Vaggie: "Yeah, Charlie?"
Charlie: "Holding hands like this is really really nice, as usual, especially after a desperate fight for our lives, so this isn't a complaint or anything-"
Charie: "-but I think your hand... is leaking??"
Vaggie: "That's blood, sweetie."
Niffty: "I like blood!"
Charlie: "That's a LOT of blood?"
Vaggie: "Yeah. It happens when someone impales your hand to the floor with your own spear, and you want the spear back."
Angel Dust: "Only you, Vaggironi."
Charlie: "YOU'RE HOLDING MY HAND WITH THE HAND THAT GOT IMPALED!?"
Vaggie: "It still works. See?"
Charlie: "GaH- don't SQUEEZE IT!!!"
Niffty: (gigling) "Eww~"
Cherri Bomb: "Wow, someone put this girl in a slasher film."
Husk: "Fuck! It fucking squirted all over my fur!"
Angel Dust: "Ooh-"
Husk: "Not one. Shitty. Word."
Charlie: "SHIT!"
Husk: "That one doesn't count."
Charlie: "Fuck, shit- why is it still bleeding? The battle was hours ago! Shouldn't it be closed up by now!?"
Vaggie: "It might not ever, really. Heavenly steel and whatever."
Niffty: (peering through hole in vaggie's hand) "Oooooh~"
Charlie: "But it has to heal! It's- Niffty stop that- it's your HAND!"
Vaggie: "It's still attached so no big deal."
Charlie: "No big- Vaggie, there's a HOLE in you that I could stick my FINGER in!"
Angel Dust: "Just one? Wow, tight fit."
Vaggie: "Could've been worse."
Charlie: "WORSE-!?"
Cherri Bomb: "Angie, if they hear you and you get yourself killed on top of Pentious today, I'm gonna ugly cry and smear my running makeup and snot all over your stupid corpse."
Charlie: "- and you didn't even TELL ME I was putting a death grip on an open wound!"
Angel Dust: "That's so rude."
Vaggie: "The pressure was helping slow the bleeding anyway."
Husk: "Fucks of a feather fuck up together."
Charlie: "BUT IT ALSO HURTS DOSN'T IT?!??"
Angel Dust: "Aww Husky, would ya cry over me too-?"
Vaggie: "It's fine."
Husk: "Fuck you."
Charlie: "This is NOT fine!!"
Vaggie: (smiling at gf) "It doesn't hurt that much, babe, but I can wrap it up if you want."
Charlie: "No, I'll do it."
Charlie: (sighs)
Charlie: "...not like it's the first time I've gotten here too late, and only been able to bandage you up AFTER she's already hurt you..."
Vaggie: "Charlie..."
Charlie: "Nope! No angst right now- bandaging! I'll be gentle, okay?"
Angel Dust: "That's what she s-"
Angel Dust: "-OW CHERRI watch it with the elbows will ya!? That rib's BROKEN!"
Husk: "So's your fucking brain, dumbass."
Cherri Bomb: "He doesn't have one."
Charlie: "Well does anyone have a NON-BLOODSTAINED bit of cloth I can use for-?"
Niffty: (soaked in blood) "No~"
Charlie: "-AGUH NIFFTY! Stop looking through her hole like that!"
Angel Dust: "...."
Cherri Dust: "For the love of yourself, don't."
Angel Dust: "......I've got nothin'."
Husk: "Thank FUCK."
Vaggie: "Hey look, when I flex my hand the stab wound blinks."
Angel Dust: "Wait actually I'm gonna throw up."
Cherri Bomb: "An open bodily hole you DON'T like? Today really is just full of miracles..."
Vaggie: "I can make it talk." (holds up hand to gf) "Hi sweetie."
Charlie: "...."
Vaggie: ".... Sorry. I think I've lost a lot of blood."
Charlie: "Then let me blindfold and or gag your stab wound, before someone faints-"
Angel Dust: (THUD)
Charlie: "-just like that, great."
Cherri Bomb: "HA, oh that's priceless! Another fallen angel!"
Husk: "Why didn't you fucking catch him."
Cherri Bomb: "What am I, his boyfriend? You catch him!"
Husk: "I'm not that loser's boyfriend!"
Charlie: "Yet."
Husk: "THE FUCK YOU SAY??"
Vaggie: "Wait guys, pause the ship war-"
Husk: "FUCK YOU AND YOUR GIRLFRIEND'S SHITTY SHIPPING!"
Vaggie: "GUYS."
Vaggie: "Where's Niffty?"
Everyone: "........."
Everyone: (looks down at angel dust's unconscious body)
Niffty: (Squished) (one arm sticking out) (thumbs up)
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