#Thank you….I am going to think about this for awhile
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alice, your mulan au is so enticing! the world-building and aiku’s role as general is absolutely delectable — curious to know if there were other characters whose roles you could see fitting into your world?
my loveliest cheshire, thank u for the ask (✿◡‿◡)!!!! im always such a happy little clam whenever i see you in my inbox <3
i think .. i am interpreting your question a little oddly so i apologize if this isn't what u are asking (feel free to send me another ask in regards to the correct question alldskvjld) but if not, i finally have an excuse to talk about some of the drafted fairy tale/disney aus i had for the bllk boys ive had cooking since feb WOO!
fair warning: this is a little long . i got carried away (ᵕ—ᴗ—)
beauty and the beast — kaiser i had this particular au in mind with almost a reverse werewolf trope, where instead of kaiser turning into a beast during the full moon, he turns back into a human. same trope per usual, except he refuses to face reader even when he's a human since he's had it ingrained into his head that he's ugly both ways until they stumble upon him naked in the west wing.
princess and the frog — reo specifically the disney version, which is prob my most rewatched movie i shan't lie lolol. i thought this one was pretty suitable for him too since reo hails from a rich background and the fact that his transformation could be a chameleon hehe 🤭
sleeping beauty — nagi reverse trope with nagi as sleeping beauty and reader as the prince who saves him, but instead of a prince, they're a maid that has grown well-acquainted with him compared to the other castle staff since they basically grew up together and is the one responsible for breaking the spell he put himself under since it's only broken by a true love's kiss.
rapunzel — chigiri another one insp by the disney version; i had a short drabble or two actually from this awhile back, with reo as pascal and ego as mother gothel lmfaoaaoao, but this was another reverse trope in which chigiri was rapunzel and reader was flynn rider (who i made an orphan who was trying to steal the crown to sell on the black market for their brothers/sisters.)
cinderella — isagi yet another one with a reversed trope asdfkahs with isagi as cinderella in this one, with kaiser and ness being his evil step-brothers ahehe, in which reader is the prince/princess who has to marry someone of their choosing. the ball comes, they meet and set their hearts on isagi, but he runs away before midnight strikes, only leaving his shoe.
the entire time this is happening, there is also a cold war going on, and kaiser & ness (mainly kaiser lol) are so infuriated with this mysterious bachelor that they tip gov officials off, creating this false image of the unknown aristocrat secretly being a terrorist that was going to assissinate reader (as he had no name or title known to the public). now, instead of looking for isagi as a potential lover, they're now hunting him down as a wanted man, using his shoe as a way of identifying him.
little red riding hood — shidou this was actually a scrapped idea that i'm still interested in writing in since i love a good predator/prey dynamic! the entire premise of it was that reader is the child of a supposed witch, which makes them a town outcast that the town forces to travel into the woods and drop off sacrificial goods to an entity called "the grandmother" to avoid it attacking their town.
shidou is also an outcast that gains an interest in reader when he sees them frequent the woods and wants to help them get away from their life, but does it in a very ..... interesting sense (by that i mean kidnapping/basement wife-ing them HAAHA)
snow white — karasu karasu as the huntsman and reader as snow white who he is doomed to kill when they grow of age!!!! i incorporated a childhood friends trope into this as well to make it a little more angsty (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و✧! when he fails to kill them and tells them to run, he goes on a search to bring them back to him as a way of proving his love wahoo !
the little mermaid — yukimiya u cannot tell me that yukki isn't prince eric material ... wuaugh hehe.. this one had more of a twist into it where yukki is the son of mermaid hunters despite him being hesitant to follow in his father's foosteps and reader has to do their best to hide their true identity
swan lake — sae based on both tchaikovsky's swan lake and the 1994 children's movie, the swan princess, where sae and reader are fated to marry in the future when they both come of age but for the life of them, cannot stand each other. the night before their marriage, they have a huge fight, which ends with reader running away and encountering a sorcerer (ego again lol), who curses them to become a swan that can only be transformed back into a human when the moonlight hits the lake of a secluded garden.
sae sets out for them—but only because he views attempting to marry another person a hassle. when he runs into them in their human form and they tell him that only a true love's kiss can break the spell. sae kisses them, only for the spell to still hold because sae doesn't truly love them. it's only when sae starts to seek them out during the night that he starts to, but even then, he's slow at loving. his doubts about his love for them keeps the spell from breaking. it doesn’t help that he only has a few days time before the spell sets in permanently and he loses them for good.
mulan — rin surprisingly, rin was my first choice when it came to the role of shang before oliver and sae since i thought his edge could bring in a lot more tension. very much a disciplinarian; he wouldn't be as lenient as oliver either and would definitely try to execute reader if it weren't for other circumstances (i based it off the og life-for-life sequence from the movie or the fact that reader was too good of a fighter to lose).
alice in wonderland — barou i couldn't finish off this list without my fav, now can i 🤭 while a lot of characters suit the other a lot, i think that barou's character is best fitted for the queen of hearts in this au! very much enemies-to-lovers that's really questionable on the lovers part lol
reader unknowingly destroyed the ultimate monarchy that barou's parents had built for him in their youth, and now, barou is set out for revenge because his current kingdom is too small for him and wants to punish the person responsible for the downfall of what was to be his empire now that reader is back (completely by accident, they didn't even know they were returning to wonderland until everyone recognized them)
other characters i had in mind for this au were bachira as the cheshire cat, isagi as the white rabbit, karasu as the caterpillar (FDSFDJK i have a good reason 😭bc he can be condescending but wise), reo as the mad hatter, chigiri as the march hare, nagi as the dormouse, niko & kiyora as the twins.
some other characters i had in mind!
anastasia — otoya (more of the plotline anastasia had, where he tries to convince her to act as a lost monarch for some cash, not knowing it's actually them.)
hercules — kunigami (he is built like a greek god and should be treated as such)
aladdin — aiku (he honestly fits SO MANY of the aforementioned, but i thought that he'd do well in aladdin's role in terms of personality)
#cheshire this was exuberantly long and for that I SEVERELY APOLOGIZE AKDVSD#i tried shortening it as best i could but i just get so excited talking about twisted fairy tales WAUHHG do forgive me 🙏🙏!!!#✉ ; letters to wonderland#🍰 ; merry unbirthday to cheshire!#blue lock
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LIFE UPDATE
Hey guys, Lexi here!
I know I've gone radio silent for awhile especially with my art... So it's time I explain what's been going on;
CW: MEDICAL TALK
After returning from my first ever convention, NostalgiaCon, I've begun having some... Problems physically and mentally.
It started with having bad abdominal pain at work one day, to the point where I could barely stand. I rushed to urgent care straight after my shift and got a UTI. I was given medicine and needed to cut back on a lot of foods and really have more water.
To which I was good after a week, but the next thing to have hit me was chest pain and weakness in my arms. So going to the urgent care again, I have and currently still have, costochondritis. Which is inflammation around the chest area. I was given medicine, but only took it for two days, even if it's supposed to be for 7. The only reason I stopped was because I started experiencing heartburn, struggling to swallow and lack of saliva production... Assuming it's dry mouth rn- Luckily the chest pain isn't like.. As bad, but it comes back round now and then.
Last year, I was diagnosed with heart palpitations... But wasn't sure if it was like a one time thing... But I am seeing a cardiologist about it to be absolutely sure, and the current plan is to give me an ECHO exam; Wearing a heart monitor and keeping it on for 7 days. The reason is to find any abnormality with my heart.
I've also been seeing the doctor a lot lately because of a condition I've had since high school called PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome). It's a condition that irregulates my cycles due to me being obese. I used to take those birth control pills, but stopped around 2019. Ever since then... Uh, it hasn't really did me much in favor.
I did get my results very recently from an ultrasound we did around my pelvis area, and they did indeed find a cyst that's about 2 inches... Not only that but because of my UTI that happened recently, it did ring some bells in the bladder... So I need to do another thing for further investigation on that.
I also needed to do a blood test to follow up on my anemia on iron and vitamin D.
Soo... That's as far as physical, now for my mental.
During one of my doctor visits, I was given a test for anxiety and depression.... I didn't think it was that bad-
I got diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder (GAD).
So because of that, I was given a psychiatric to be able to push me through this anxiety. So far it's been working, what's causing my anxiety though is all the medical stuff that's been happening to me. I even brought it up to him and he understood. The goal is to just, continue with this journey and remain calm, continue to use my methods to maintain my anxiety.
So far that journey is making progress, but there is still ways to go.
Andd.... I believe that's all I covered for now... I'm currently in a battle and journey for all of this stuff, but I promise I'm ok! I got my family and friends like you guys supporting me the best way possible.
Now in regards to art, I am slowly making my way back to drawing, but production is slower because of my chest pain... But I am drawing! I am still planning to attend Art Fight, but I've just been working on the ref sheets and line up ATM.
If you wish to see who I have done at least, check out my art fight page! For this year I'm gonna do my South Park OCS! There will be 6 of them! 3 are done so far, but there's still 3 more to go!
For the meantime hope you guys understand my situation, but thought I give this update to reassure some that I am still around!
Thanks for reading! Lexi, out!
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juggalo nemesis (…evil augustus) and horror punk butcher. Very important i think
#nightmaretheater#psychonauts#evil augustus#the butcher psychonauts#you guys dont talk about them enough so im claiming them and playing with them like touys#I dont even care maintag this.Spread my message#Your evil father can have sooo much fun#This makes me so happy i like imagining nemesis havign so much fun#I think nemesis helped butcher with the stitching and spiking snd stuff :)#(butcher has big hands and claws… and doesnt really do thst stuff)#Look at them having so much fun#Thank you….I am going to think about this for awhile#I will never not call him nemesis btw#THANK YOU MY BESTIE FRIEND KRIS FOR GUIDING ME.. zEOULDNT HAVE MADE IT WITHOUT U
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Mini Silverborn Countdown
If you’ve been around for a few years, you’ve seen me vaguely mention a “Silverborn Countdown Challenge” several times. It’s been delayed and changed as many times as the book itself, lol.
If anyone wants sort of a low-stakes, very chill and spaced out version of this ye olde never tackled challenge to complete in the next year before Silverborn, I propose what I’m doing:
Every 3 months leading up to the initial release, I am creating one thing based on each of the books.
January — Nevermoor
April — Wundersmith
July — Hollowpox
#nevermoor#nevermoor fanart#nevermoor fanfic#silverborn#silverborn countdown challenge#thank you theo for reminding me to post abt this on here. I am stealing the “mini” moniker (?) in return. lol.#this was in my drafts and I forgot to post it. happens a lot lol.#anyways if you’re reading this happy new years !#nine masterpost ver 1.0 dropping tomorrow evening prob bc I have had a headache all day and that’s the next time I’m free#now time to sleep. zzzzzz. perhaps I’ll have a prophetic silverborn dream. who knows.#I love giving myself set times to draw nevermoor things or just think about the series bc otherwise I go insane#literally thinking abt this stuff 24/7 it’s all I want to draw. But then I have to hold myself back + then end up never drawing anything lol#I have three big things planned for this like big pieces to work on over awhile and get myself out of my comfort zone#but idk what to draw for this first one. aahhhhh. excited for wundersmith and hollowpox though.#also I want to do a little animation for nevermoorian new years. which is on a leap day this year! how fun!!#I have an eternal nevermoor to-draw list that only gets bigger#sorry to the person that requested some Christmas stuff last year. I missed out and was gonna do it this year. then no time. so next year? 😅#also 🏆 to anyone that ever reads my ramblings in my tags. I am so insane about nevermoor especially. <333
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This thought has been rattling around my head since I first read through Chaos Rising. Obviously at this point Samakro doesn’t trust Thalias that much yet. But how do you think he’d react when she’s rescued from Yiv’s ship with Che’ri?
hello anon i got this ask when i was unpacking and listening to Greater Good and it activated me like a sleeper agent and I got like 1200 words into a response to your asks before I realized that I wanted to take a completely different approach to the scene and so here, please enjoy first draft reaction while I work on a second draft that satisfies my shipper brain even more than this one.
Samakro straightens his posture and turns to face the caregiver, but his voice dies in his throat as he sees the bruise darkening the side of her face. He hadn’t seen it at first beneath the ridiculous makeup and no one had said anything. She also never leaves her hair down when she’s on the bridge with Che’ri, so he can’t help but wonder if her wearing it loose now is indicative of something else that had happened. He also doesn’t realize that he’s staring until Thalias lifts a hand to cover her jaw though the damage is already done. “Someone hit you,” Samakro remarks stupidly, his hands gripping the back of the couch when he can’t think of anything better to do with them. She was a civilian placed into a combat situation and she was hurt on Thrawn’s watch, and Samakro wonders if it will make it into the official report. “Yes, well,” Thalias begins icily, though the tone isn’t directed at him, “General Yiv isn’t so benevolent when things don’t go his way.”
#my copy of chaos rising is also at the other apartment so I couldn't look up references#and thrawn was also there and i'm like 'no i don't want him here on second thought'#anyway thank you for the asks i am going to be thinking about them like all week#also what if i fuck around and finish touching up that other fic i've had sitting in my wips for awhile and post it#a lil miss fic#lil miss writings#star wars#thrawn novels#thalakro#i don't know how you got my number but boy howdy have i been DIALED IN#keep 'em coming anon i will always love to think about thalakro
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Astarion doesn't ask for affection because he can't..... yet.
Ah, more tea steeping in this seeming endless sea of thoughts. This brew is a bit strong on the heart. Read with caution.
Warning for game spoilers and talk of abuse.
This perspective is from game content only. How anybody cannons their relationships or behaviors is perfectly right. No blame, no shame, it's your game.
I was always miffed at the lack of initiated affection from Astarion as a partner. YOU ask him for a kiss. YOU ask him for a hug. YOU ask him to tell you thank you after being an amazing partner and killing a massive beastie just for him! Brat...
But then I had a sudden realization. Given his past, affection is probably insanely hard to ask for. Like it can be for a lot of us.
Stay awhile and listen. (nerd)
Now when I speak of narcissistic abuse I am only speaking from what I know about it. I have no academic or phycology degree on the matter. Just good ol' tossed in the pond and forced to sink or swim experience.
Astarion spent 200 years under the crushing weight of narcissistic / psychopathic abuse. One of the things these types of abusers love to do is take what you love and make you hate it and then make you hate yourself for ever having liked it to begin with. All very nasty business that. But it's one of the main corner stones for the cage they build to control you.
They make you feel as if the request of a simple hug is the most pathetic thing you could ask for. Or the most selfish thing as it inconveniences them. They don't want it, why should they give it to you?
Shame, belittle, degrade, devalue..
200 years with a master who used him like a tool. 200 years with siblings that fought amongst each other so much comfort was a liability. Nights coming home assaulted only to be mocked for your tears. Insulted for your need of comfort.
"Pathetic! Weak! Disgusting! "
Shame, belittle, degrade, devalue..
Affection was nowhere to be found there, I assure you.
And for a Narc. anything given is expected to be "earned" in any way they see fit. And if you were "rewarded" with anything, it comes at high price.
And how dare you not find it fair. You ingrate!
Shame, belittle, degrade, devalue..
Hugs are pathetic. Kisses are an intrusion. Or they become gateways to other unwanted behaviors. To be held...what are you? A baby? The only way you are going to get held, is down.
Shame, belittle, degrade, devalue.. The pattern continues.
But you ask HIM for a kiss. And he says..
"There is nothing I'd like more."
And he means it.
I'd bet a mountain of gold he wants to just ask you himself. But years of conditioning to expect pain when seeking pleasure probably keeps him in a choke hold. Like rats that are shocked every time they try to eat food out of a dish. They learn it is safer to starve.
"I want to ask Tav for a kiss or a hug, but they might think i'm weak. But if they ask me first then it's them who wants it and they can't degrade me for it because they asked, not me. It's safe then."
"I want to ask Tav for a kiss or hug, but they might reject me for being too needy and shame and berate me for being so selfish or demanding of their time and person. But if they ask they have time and want me to kiss/hug them."
"I want to ask Tav for a kiss or a hug, but my primal brain keeps telling me they might demand more than I want to give in return for it. But if they ask, I have the power of negotiating the outcome."
This leads me to believe he would view sex and affection very differently as well.
Where most find affection safe and nurturing, it's anxiety educing and unsafe. It means there are feelings and if there are feelings there is the risk and fear of rejection or judgment. It's much scarier.
Where most find sex to be connecting and intimate, it's been used so much it's lost any meaning. Something you can do a thousand times over and walk away the second it's done and feel nothing afterward.
This may even be a part of the reason why he wants to stop having sex.
He wants to connect with you in ways denied to him. He wants the experience of being courted, treasured, nurtured. It means so much more to him than sex. It is so much more connecting.
Feeling this way is wretched and lonely. The most basic instinct is to want to seek comfort in the arms of those who love us. But it's broken. The risk is too great.
And it's hard. Because you could be the sweetest most honorable Tav in the whole of Fearun. But after being fed poised apples one too many times, all apples appear poisonous regardless of if is true or not.
I have no doubt that this prickly elf soaks up every second of non sexual affection you give him. And truly is grateful for your patience while he slowly and carefully disarms the safety measures he put in place to survive. The fact that he even allowed you to touch him like that at all was a monumental act of trust. And why not? You are incredible after all.
I'm going to go ask my elf for a kiss now. And then cry in my cup.
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P.3. Hopefully Charming?



Part Three
Pairings: Mafia!Bat Boys / Clueless!Reader
Summary: Reader finally goes on her first date with the batboys!
Word Count: 1.7K+
Tags: first dates, flirting, skirting around heavy topics of convo, author lowkey hates this chapter and might rewrite it.
Acotar Masterlist | Series Masterlist
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── °ꨄ︎。 /̵͇̿̿/’̿’̿ ̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ 。ꨄ︎° ──
I looked at myself in the mirror with a small smile. I had the dress stuffed in the back of my closet for a while, it had been a good night for tips when I bought it and I'd had my eye on the gorgeous black piece in the window for awhile. I justified it pretty well but truth be told this was the first time I'd worn it since that night a few months ago.
The sparkly black fabric hugged all my curves in all the perfect places, accentating just right in the areas of my body I sometimes felt insecure in. I had my hair curled and in a bun framing my face and I felt beautiful. I had kept the jewelry light but worn some of my favorites.
They hadn't told me where we would be going just yet, only to be ready by 7 and to look nice. My stomach flipped at the memory of who I was going out with- my bosses. plural.
I shuddered in excitment, leaving my bedroom with my matching black heels in hand. A quick glance at my phone told me it was 6:54 and after slipping my shoes on and grabbing my purse I headed to lobby.
My mind whirled the whole elevator ride down. I'd been working there for a almost a year and hadn't noticed any signs they found me interesting. I shouldn't be going out with my bosses, what would my coworkers say? what if this went horrible wrong and I was out of a job?
The elevator doors dinged open and there I saw Rhysand entering the lobby all my worries draining as my heart fluttered at the smile he gave me. Even though it was stupid as all hell. I couldn't help the shiver that ran down my spine whenever any three of them looked at me like that.
I started walking towards him and once he was in earshot he spoke first. "I would've come up and retrieved you."
"Well what kinda girl would I be to let you see my place before the first date even started?"
"I don't think it says anything about you, but certainly about what kind of man I am for not even walking all the way to your front door." I just rolled my eyes and as soon as I reached him he pressed a kiss to my hand, those almost violet eyes roving over me appreciatively. "You look absolutely stunning darling."
"You clean up pretty well yourself."
He smiled, offering me his arm and I took it. "Thank you, I don't have to try all that hard."
I couldn't help but chuckle, the cool wind brushing against my neck as we stepped outside and making goosebumps run up my arm, certainly not because of his close proximity. "I revoke my earlier compliment then, seeing as your ego is certainly big enough without my help."
He placed his free hand where his heart was, feigning hurt. "Ouch. And here I thought I was making progress."
I didn't get a chance to respond as he opened the car door for me, making sure I was seated before closing it and heading to the driver's side. I couldn't appreciate the leather seats and nice interior when I noticed Cassian and Azriel weren't in the car.
"Don't worry darling they were elected to set up the resturant while I get to be your personal chauffeur."
I blushed slightly, embarassed he could read my disappointment so easily but quickly changed the topic. "So it's a resturant then?"
He didn't say anything just as I exepected, they'd been infuriating quiet the entire week. He just roared the engine to life and headed down the streets of Velaris. "I hope it's not Sevanda's I've heard that place sucks."
Even though I was slightly joking I truly hoped he didn't take me to his own resturant I'd already spent enough time there as is, taking me on a date there seemed a bit egotistical.
He chuckled and I couldn't help but notice how good he looks behind the wheel of a fast car, his strong hands gripping the leather confidently as if he'd done this a thousand times or more. Leaning back in the seat to get comfortable. "I've heard the owner's are especially wicked."
"I've met them, they're not that bad."
"No?"
"Nah, except they totally hijacked my date, very rude to be butting in their employees personal lives."
"You should go to the National Resturant Association. That's very unprofessional."
I couldn't help the laugh that bubbled out of me. "Well it's a good thing I think they're cute."
"Don't let Cassian hear you say that. I don't think any of us will ever live it down."
I turned to smile at him, only to realize his eyes were on mine before returning to the road. His hand quietly fell off the steering wheel and settled on my thigh just slightly above my thigh, his body tensed as if waiting for a rejection.
The touch sent electricty through my skin and I my heart started beating faster. In reality we didn't know each other all that well even if there had been..moments.
I however didn't make a move to remove it, content to let this feeling last however long it would. Wishing he would move those hands further up.
── °ꨄ︎。 /̵͇̿̿/’̿’̿ ̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ 。ꨄ︎° ──
I couldn't help but gasp in awe when we arrived, Rhysand had his eyes covering mine during the elevator ride and after a few steps he finally removed them. It was a rooftop resturant, with dim lights and expensive seating. I could see the whole city for miles. "Where are we?"
"Le cœur"
I whirled around to face him. "You're joking."
He cocked his head to the side. "No."
"It's friday night and this place is completely empty. Le cœur is always busy, my friend works here."
He just shrugged his shoulders. "I have friends here too."
"Are you trying to intimidate me with your money?" I joked.
"We were trying to show off." A familiar voice said from behind me and I turned to face Cassian and Azriel. Grateful to see them. "Is it working?" Rhys asked, leading me to a the closest table with the best view. Velaris spread out below us the Sidra glinting in the setting sun.
"Write me a check then we'll see."
Cassian laughed, claiming the spot right next to me while Azriel and Rhysand took the seats across. "I'm kidding obviously, this is so beautiful thank you so much." I added sincerely. Hoping they werent thinking I was trying to take advantage of them.
Azriel brushed it off but Rhysand locked eyes with me for a few moments "You're welcome." A waiter appeared with a bottle of wine and a few glasses keeping his eyes glued to the floor. He silently slipped away after that and I didn't even get a chance to thank him.
"Did you already order?" I asked when I realized there was no menus. "Trust me, Alice cooks what you will enjoy." Cassian said appreciatively patting his stomach.
I laughed and Azriel silently poured me a glass of wine. "Do you usually go all out with the women you date?"
"Only the extremely beauitful ones." Cassian spoke, his eyes on me and I flushed under his attention.
"We also don't date together…wanted to make it special."
"Wait what?" I turned to face Azriel, Rhys leaned back in his seat his fingers drumming against his wine glass. "Your a unique case."
"I…don't know what to say to that." I admitted, of course I preened under their attention, who wouldn't? and the fact that they all wanted me enough to share me was a sobering reality, even if it had my heart flipping inside out.
"You don't have to say anything. It's just important that you know it." Rhys was obviously the smooth talker of the three and I was grateful for his charm easing the tension. I didn't realize how they felt and it made me.…giddy.
"I don't know how to be on a date with three people." It's my first time being shared too. I silently said and Azriel nodded in quiet understanding yet the man to my side spoke first. "That's alright princess just let us take the lead."
Cassian's smile was infectious and I found myself relaxing with his light charm. "Well what do you like to do for fun?"
"Oh none of those icebreaker questions that's so awkward." I hid a mishevious smile behind my glass. "What do you suggest we talk about then love?" Azriel murmured, leaning forward in his chair to further capture my attention.
"What's the dumbest thing you've all ever done?"
"Oof went straight for it huh?” Cassian chuckled.
"I'll show you mine if you show me yours."
"Alright alright. The dumbest thing I've ever done was sneak into Rhys's dad's whiskey cabinent. I was 16 and when he found out about it he was not happy. I ran laps at five am for a whole year rain or shine."
"Wait wait, I thought you were all brothers?" I asked, Cassian had said rhys dad, not ours.
"Not biologically but we grew up just as close." Rhys said sharing a heavy look with the two other males, spinning a ring on his finger as if in thought. I decided not to push it ay further as it seemed there was a big story there for another time. "And you Azriel, what's the dumbest thing you've ever done?"
"Drive without a sealtbelt." He shrugged and I raised my eyebrows at him. "Driving without a seatbealt? Come on, that's such a lie."
The edges of his lips barely lifted but I noticed and it felt like a small victory from the stoic male. "I'll show you mine if you show me yours." He repeated my words from earlier and I crossed my arms over my chest. "That's how it's going to be?"
He didn't say anything just waited for me to contiune and I huffed, taking a pause to think. "The dumbest thing I've ever done was…take seven shots of tequila the night before a big test at med school. They kinda kicked me out.”
"I didn't know you were in school." "Yep." I popped the p before taking a sip of my wine. "I was going to drop out sooner or later so it doesn't matter." I waved the conversation off, hoping to avoid talking about it further.
Azriel nodded again. "The dumbest thing I've ever done is steal a car."
"You did what?!" I asked and just like that the night kicked off.
── °ꨄ︎。 /̵͇̿̿/’̿’̿ ̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ 。ꨄ︎° ──
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Let me know if your thoughts on my writing & this series / where you want this to go! i always love hearing from you guys! Also let me know if you want to be added to the tag list! <3
taglist: @sstrohma @kissesfromnovalie @throwing-up-butterflies @hjgdhghoe @giovax @acourtofbatboydreams
#mafia!batboys x reader#azriel x reader#rhys x reader#rhysand x reader#cassian x reader#poly!bat boys x reader#poly!acotar x reader#acotar x reader#polyamory#fluff#first dates#oblivious series#clueless waitress series
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Hi! I saw you were open for requests and I was wondering if you would be willing to do one for Oscar Piastri? Something along the lines of Oscar finds driver!reader in the McLaren Garage going over race footage late at night and he comforts her because she’s under pressure as the first Female driver? Sorry if it’s a little wordy 😂 and thank you if you write it!
an: I hope this is what you were looking for🙈
warnings: use of y/n, underlying themes of misogyny

Oscar forgot his phone at the track, two hours after he had already returned to his hotel.
Fine, whatever, he’d get it in the morning.
Except he needed it to set his alarms.
So, showered and ready for bed, he drove back to the track and snuck into the paddock. He took the back entrance to the garage, pausing when he saw a faint glow in the space on your side of the garage.
Strange, the lights and computers were usually shut off at night. Perhaps someone forgot one?
Or, perhaps not, because a voice cut through the still silence. “Where is he getting four tenths?” It was undeniably your voice that was filled with frustration.
You were bent over the computer, comparing your qualifying lap with Oscar’s. Your hair was a mess, your hands having run through it and grasped it in your fists more times than you could attempt to count.
As he got closer, he could see your distressed state. He could see how tension seized your body, and paralyzed it to the outside eye. The darkening circles under your eyes. The exhaustion weighing on your body.
Too engrossed by whatever was displayed on the computer, you hadn’t noticed he was there until you felt his hand on your back. You jumped, fists readying for a fight until you realized it was only Oscar. He held his hands up in surrender. “Hey.” He spoke with a soft laugh. “Just me.”
It had only been seven short weekends—and 5 months that flew by like minutes—that the two of you have spent as teammates. But Oscar was a guy who was easy to get along with. Everything about him (apart from his initial intimidating demeanor) was a big welcome sign.
Every muscle in your body relaxed. “I thought you’d gone back to the hotel awhile ago?” You questioned, diverting the conversation before he can question you about your whereabouts.
“I came back for my phone.” He paused. “What are you still doing here?” He raised a brow.
You adverted your eyes, studying the data in front of you instead. You shrugged. “Trying to figure out where my pace has gone.” He could hear everything in your voice—the disappointment, anxiety, doubt.
Oscar frowned then reached across you to take the cursor in his hand. He closed the tabs.
“Hey-! I was looking at that!”
“It’s not going to help you any tomorrow. You’re better off reviewing it after the race.” He sighed.
You shook your head. “Oh, ha ha.” You laughed sarcastically. “I get it, you’re trying to throw me off to get an advantage.”
“No, im trying to help you.”
“I’m not buying it.”
“Y/n, just listen to me.” He huffed. “I get it. It’s a lot of pressure and you feel like you have to be incredible right away, but you’re going to destroy yourself thinking like that.”
Your laugh was void of humor. “How am I supposed to not think like that? I don’t have a 5 year contract like you.” You shook your head. “One year. That’s all I get.”
He ran a hand through his hair. “I wasn’t going to say anything, but I overheard Zak and Andrea talking. They see potential in you. They want to extend your contract.” Your demeanor shifted. Hope lightened your body.
But it was a lie. He didn’t intend to make a habit of it, and he was sure they would sign you again. He just wanted to give you some confidence. “So will you just come back to the hotel with me?” He was exhausted himself, desperate to get to sleep, but he wouldn’t leave until you did.
He saw the hesitation cross your features before you gave in, shutting the computer off. “Do you mind giving me a ride? I don’t-“
“Yeah.” He answered without a question about it.
You offered a small smile and muttered a, “Thanks.”
Oscar thought that was the end of it. Boy, was he wrong.
This time, he caught you still in the meeting room, two hours after the post-race debrief had ended. He stood in the doorway for a moment, observing you. Routinely, your eyelids fluttered closed before snapping back open.
Until they didn’t, and you let your eyelids close. Your head—previously held up by your hand—slid from its spot. The drop of it woke you up with a start.
“If you’re tired, you should probably head out.” He said, making himself known while stepping into the room. He closed the door behind him.
“Can’t. I have to figure out how to beat you.” You deadpanned.
Oscar chuckled, taking the seat next to you. You glanced at him from the corner of your eyes before rubbing the sleep from them. “That’s where your problem starts. Focus on winning, not beating me.”
You put your head in your hands. “Same thing.” You grumbled.
“Except it’s not-“
“I’m not in the mood for another one of your lectures.” You snapped.
Oscar sat in stunned silence. You’d never lost your temper. It was a strange sight to see. But he didn’t blame you for it. He could see the tension in your stiff shoulders and the frustration in your unkept hair. The pressure was still getting to you. He didn’t offer any more words. Just a hug.
You froze, unsure of what to do or say.
Until the comfort of his embrace broke down your carefully constructed walls built around your emotions. You wrapped your arms around him, burying your head in the curve of his neck.
He just held you, offering his warmth to comfort you. “I wish I was a man. It would be so much easier. Less eyes. Less questions. Less speculation.” You mumbled. “Less people telling me I can’t do it.”
His hand rubbed your back. And all the frustration, it just broke. You shoved his chest as soon as you felt the first tear slip and turned your face away from him. Still, he rubbed your back. “I- I think I got something in my eye.” You rushed out the excuse. Anything to not seem weak.
He chuckled. A sound that wasn’t meant to be cruel but you interpreted as. You stood, distancing yourself. “You don’t have to lie, it’s okay to cry.”
“I’m not crying.” You defended too quickly.
He called your name in that kind voice of his. The one that felt like a warm hug on a cold winter’s day. The one you couldn’t not turn around for.
You took in his gaze, understanding with an undercurrent of pity. “I’m just so frustrated.” You confessed in whispers. “I know I’m good, but the results aren’t showing it.”
He stepped closer, his hand finding your arm. “They are.” He reassured. “You’re just stuck up here.” He tapped your head with a small smile. “And thinking too much about what other people think.” He added.
You bit the inside of your cheek. You hated to admit he was right, but you nodded.
He initiated the hug this time and you reciprocated, resting your head on his shoulder.
#f1#formula 1#f1 x reader#formula 1 x reader#f1 blurb#f1 fluff#f1 x you#op81#f1 angst#oscar piastri x fem!reader#oscar piastri angst#oscar piastri x you#oscar piastri one shot#oscar piastri imagine#oscar piastri#oscar piastri x reader#oscar piastri blurb
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I just read all of your Thomas Shelby x reader and i fell in love with all of it 😍
I honestly don't have any idea or specific request for you but i will send you these GIF in hope that maybe they will spark something for you to write.
Now that i have pick these i kinda realize i want some more hurt comfort 😅
thank you so so much! I'm glad you love them. I really locked in for this to try and get an idea, so hopefully you like it!
Up The Duff
pairing: Tommy Shelby x Pregnant!Fem!Reader
word count: 2536
warnings: pregnancy, hurt w/ comfort :)
"Good of you to join us." Y/N said to Ada when she finally walked into the main room. She and Polly were having tea, gossiping about practically everyone in Birmingham.
"Where have you been all day?" Polly asked in a much flatter tone than Y/N had, looking into her tea as if she were preemptively reading the leaves through the liquid.
"In bed." Y/N raised her eyebrow while Polly picked up a news paper, sharing a look with Ada. Oh, Ada had been in bed alright; in bed with Y/N's cousin. But, Y/N was in bed with Ada's brother, so she couldn't really say anything.
She kept Ada's secret well, and for awhile, Ada kept Y/N's secret. That was, until the entire Shelby lot had walked in while Thomas had her bent over the desk, clawing at the wood like an animal.
It took quite some time for her to gather the courage to look any of the Shelby's in the eye.
"Couldn't sleep. Then I couldn't wake up. Then I was cold, and then I had to go for a wee." Ada was cutting herself some bread, and Y/N rolled her eyes as she over explained everything. "Then I was with this bear on a boat, but that was just a dream. Then I was hungry." Ada sat down across from Y/N, who sipped her tea and looked at Polly. "I've never seen you read the paper, Pol." Ada said as she put jam on her toast.
"The BSA are on strike. The miners are on strike. IRA are killing our boys, ten a day." Polly gave Ada a look, the younger girl simply licking the jam off her fingers.
"What?" Ada asked, looking between Y/N and Polly.
"Stand up," Polly told Ada, making Y/N raise an eyebrow once more.
"Why?" Ada asked, and Y/N tried to follow Polly's reasoning. She wasn't getting anywhere.
"Just stand up." Polly instructed. Y/N stood with Ada, going around the table to stand behind Polly as Ada wiped her hands. "Side on," Not even a moment later, Polly was grabbing Ada's breast, Y/N and Ada both letting out a gasp.
"What are you doing, Pol?" Y/N asked, walking up beside her. The older woman paid no mind to Y/N.
"Ada, how late are you?" Y/N's eyes widened. Was Ada pregnant?
Ada crossed and uncrossed her arms. "One week." Good, not too bad. Still a chance. "Five weeks." Ada said at the silence. Y/N looked a Polly, who was still looking at Ada. "Seven if you count weekends. I think it's a lack of iron." Ada tagged onto the end, and Y/N almost lost her breath. She knew Freddy and Ada had sex, but they weren't married, and she never thought this would have been the outcome. Polly sat down, and Ada sat next to her, causing Y/N to be on the outside behind them.
"What about those tablets?" Y/N asked, hoping to help.
"They didn't work, did they?" Polly asked, a sympathetic look on her face.
"No," Ada shook her head, and Y/N sighed. "I blame Y/N for my lack of notice. We're synced, and she hasn't asked for anything in two months, at least." It was quiet in the room as they all realized what Ada was saying.
"What? I just started buying my own." She lied, crossing her arms.
"No," Polly said, looking Y/N up and down. "Not both of you. Not two Shelby's." She begged, making the sign of the cross.
"I'm not a Shelby." Y/N informed Polly, as if she hadn't already known.
"You might as fuckin' well be!" She yelled out, making Y/N look around.
"I am not pregnant!" She yelled, taking a deep breath and calming herself down as Ada and Polly stared. She looked around, glad all the men were out. "I am not pregnant." She walked around the table and sat at the space across from the Shelbys.
"At least I've come to terms with it." Ada muttered, making Y/N scoff.
"We might not be pregnant. Just," She paused as she tried to think of a reason why her and Ada would be almost two months late.
"That's it," Polly hit the table, even though no one was talking.
"What's it?" Thomas asked as he walked in. Y/N's heart basically stopped beating for a moment, and she swore she was going to throw up.
"Y/N just came up with a new idea for jam." Ada covered, reaching over Polly to grab her toast. "Nothing special."
"Right." Thomas paused, turning to Y/N and nodding. She nodded back, giving a small smile to him. "I just came to pick up Y/N so she could get ready for our date tonight." Thomas walked over to Y/N, grabbing her hand and helping her up. His hand then went to the small of her back, and she smiled up at him.
"Oh, but she just agreed to go out with us." Polly feigned sadness, and Y/N raised an eyebrow.
"Yes, we were going to go to the new pub." Ada added, causing Y/N to squint. She didn't make any plans, and they had no reason to go out tonight.
"Oh?" Thomas questioned, and Y/N licked her lips.
"Uh, yeah," She wasn't sure the reason Polly and Ada wanted to go out, but she could guess that it had to do with their recent discoveries. "Sorry. I forgot we were going out." She bluffed, looking up again at Thomas. He cocked his head slightly, looking down at her.
Oh shit. He has to know.
"Right," Thomas looked at his family then, putting his free hand in his pocket. "Well, in that case, I will just be stealing her for the afternoon." He began to usher Y/N out, the two barely able to utter goodbye at Thomas' pace.
"Tommy, slow down!" Y/N said, tripping over her heels as they stepped out the door. He caught her, continuing all the way to the car. He helped her in as fast as he possibly could, practically pushing her across to the passenger side. "What was all that?" She asked as Thomas started the car.
"I think I should be asking you the same question." He responded, pulling into the street and driving down the road to her apartment.
"Why?" She asked, leaning against the door as she looked at Thomas. His side profile was something she could admire on a daily basis, and today was no exception.
"What was Polly talking about when I came in?" He cut straight to the chase, and she licked her lips as she shifted to face the windshield.
"The jam?" Y/N questioned, trying to stall.
"I'm not buying that shit." Thomas told her, glancing at her quickly before looking back at the road. "Just tell me what you were really talking about." He put a hand on her thigh, making her insides heat up. She forgot what they were talking about for a moment until Thomas hummed in question.
"It really was jam." She said innocently, nodding as if he were watching.
"Right," Thomas nodded, licking his lips and clearing his throat. "And this jam, what's the idea?" He questioned, still not moving his hand.
"The idea?" Y/N repeated, trying to think of something, anything, to tell Thomas.
"Yes, that's what I said." He told her, turning onto her street.
"Of course," She looked out the window; she didn't know the first thing about jams.
"Do you even know the ingredients to make jam?" Thomas asked, causing Y/N to scoff.
"Why would I have an idea for jams if I didn't know the ingredients?" Yes, this was good. She was getting him off topic.
"That's what I'm asking." He told her, not even seeming angry as he pulled up outside her building. She hopped out and met him on the other side, letting him hold her hand and lead them into the building.
"D'you want some tea?" Y/N asked as she opened the door to her apartment.
"Ah, best not. Where did Pol say you girls were going tonight?" Thomas asked, taking his hat off as he entered her small room.
"Oh, ya know, out and about." She said, pouring some water into the kettle to heat it, even though Thomas had said he didn't want any tea. She had forgotten the lie that Polly had made up already, and it made her heart sink.
"Ah, the Garrison?" He asked, taking a cigarette out and putting it in his mouth. Y/N turned, trying not to let her eyes widen.
"Could you not smoke in here, Tommy? It's a small room." She requested, walking up and taking the cigarette out of his mouth, replacing it with her own lips. He responded in kind, hands traveling to her side.
"What's really going on?" Thomas asked as they parted, causing Y/N's brain to come back much faster than she would have liked.
"What do you mean?" She whispered against his lips, trying to distract him again. Thomas was unfortunately strong willed, and he stepped back slightly.
"Come on, love. I know you don't make jam, and I know you and Ada and Pol aren't going to a pub tonight. Why're you lying to me?" He looked genuinely upset, and Y/N took a deep breath, turning back to the kettle as it whistled. As she was pouring the water, he wrapped his arms around her, kissing her cheek and pressing his face close to hers.
"Tommy," She whispered, tears in her eyes. "Tommy, I'm late." She muttered, letting a tear fall from her eye as she put the kettle down.
"Late?" He asked, and Y/N could tell he didn't understand because he hadn't tightened his arms or moved away.
"Yes," She said, not able to explain further.
"For," Thomas led off, leaning into her more causing her to spill some of her tea on herself. She hissed as she put it down, taking a deep breath.
"Tommy," She turned to him, looking up and watching his face fall as he realized she was crying.
"You're late," He said in understanding, taking a deep breath. She nodded, more tears falling down her face.
"We're going somewhere tonight," She told him, not able to look at him. "To confirm it." She kept Ada's secret, knowing that eventually Thomas would figure it out and it wasn't her place to tell him.
"I see," Thomas let go of her and walked backward running his hands over his face as he looked out the window. He licked his lips, rubbing his hands together. "How, um, how long?" He asked, finally looking at her.
"I wasn't keeping track, but, um, probably two months. Maybe 3." Her voice got quieter as she said the last part, and Thomas just nodded, looking back out the window. He then grabbed his hat and wordlessly walked out of the apartment, leaving Y/N in shock. She fell softly to the the floor then, staying there until Ada and Polly came to pick her up.
~
Tommy wasn't sure what to do.
He was feeling a lot of emotions, and his heart hadn't stopped beating out of his chest for thirty minutes. He sat on his bed, his door locked, with his hands over his face as he tried to breathe. He didn't want to leave Y/N, but he didn't want to freak out in front of her either.
How could he be a father? He knew Y/N would be a good mother, but he wasn't so sure about himself. What if he fucked up this kid? He would never be able to live with himself. And his work wasn't the greatest; he wasn't sure if he would ever get to the point where kids would be a good option.
And God, Y/N. His sweet girl. It was his fault that she would go through this, that she would have to birth a child. Was she ready for it?
He should have stayed and talked with her, he realized suddenly. He ran down the stairs and back to his car, speeding to get to Y/N's. But by the time he had got to her apartment, banging on the door and begging her to let him in, he realized she had already left to go out with Polly and Ada. And he doubted they were going to a pub.
Shit.
~
He waited outside the door, sitting in the hallway and watching multiple people walk by before Y/N finally showed up, face free of any makeup and eyes swollen, probably from crying.
"Tommy?" He had his head down against his knees, and he jerked up at the sound of her voice. He took her in, wondering if she was angry at him for leaving, before hopping up.
"I am so, so sorry," He whispers, not sure what else to say.
"Let's go inside." She offers, unlocking the door before walking in. She'll definitely have to move in with him, because he doesn't like how there's only one lock separating her from someone that may want to hurt her in order to get to him. Just the thought makes him sick, and he locks the door as soon as he closes it. It's quiet as they both try to figure out what to say, neither of them looking at each other.
"Why didn't you tell me?" He asked, putting his hands on his hips and then quickly crossing his arms instead.
"What?" She questions, not sure what Thomas was asking. She wasn't expecting that to come out of his mouth, especially after he stormed out.
"When you first had the idea that you were pregnant, why didn't you come to me?" He seems so hurt, so upset, and that makes Y/N even more sad. She looks away.
"I didn't know what you would do," She tells him, tears running down her face. She looks at the floor, rambling. "We're not married, and I know you're trying to build your business and I just-"
"Do you want to be?" He cut her off, stepping closer to her.
"Want to be what?" She asked, too caught up in her worries to understand what he was asking.
"Married." He told her, completely confident. She blinked at him, not sure if he was being serious or if he was drunk.
"Is that how you're asking?" She questioned, crossing her arms and smiling slightly.
"If that's what you want," Thomas told her, grabbing her left hand and getting down on one knee. "I would be honored to be your husband." Y/N took a deep breath, trying to think about her answer.
"Are you only asking me because I might be pregnant?" She muttered, tears falling fast out of her eyes. She wanted to marry Thomas, but she didn't want him to marry her just because she was pregnant. "Because you don't have to do that," She sniffles.
"I wouldn't." He tells her, shaking his head as he puts his other knee down. He pulls her in by the waist, and she lets herself be tugged toward him, her stomach reaching his face. She cards a hand through his hair, smiling slightly.
"We'll be okay." She whispers, smiling as Thomas looks up at her. He stands, wiping her tears and pulling her in for a kiss.
//
tags: @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @one-sweet-gubler @theoraekenslover @jbrownta
#tommy shelby x reader#tommy shelby fanfic#tommy shelby#thomas shelby x reader#thomas shelby fanfic#peaky blinders x reader#peaky blinders imagine
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Hey hey Suzuuuu
I hope you can see this request..
It’s a nsfw
I would like to request Wanderer x shy fem reader at Sumeru Akademiya, a new student came in and its reader who is shy to introduce herself. And the teacher told the new student to sit next to Wanderer and Wanderer finds it annoying when he preferred to be alone.
At some time, Wanderer becomes like a bully when he likes to tease and make fun of fem reader only to see her reactions, and it makes him like want to corrupt her innocence.
wanderer (scaramouche) x fem!reader. smut corruption. fingering. bullying. minor degradation.
i want to sincerely thank everyone for letting me take my time and go through requests at my own pace 😭🥺 i feel bad, though.
wanderer only went to class that day because nahida insisted on walking him there. if she hadn't, he would gone right out into the forest to hide and maybe nap in a tree for awhile. a more valuable use of his time, in his opinion, but nahida insisted that the akademiya would be good for him.
he could practically taste your innocence the moment you walked through the lecture hall door. it was pure in a way he hadn't considered still existed. through his sheer annoyance at you being seated next to him (his table was the only empty seat. he could totally see why), he shot you a glare that sent an unexpected shiver up your spine.
"don't think we are going to be friends because you are sitting next to me," he wanted to level with you right here and now. "99% of the time, i won't even be here."
"oh, that's fine," you replied, organizing your books and tucking some hair behind your ear. "i'm not here to make friends. i am here to learn," you pursed your lips, and offered him a soft smile, "my family also has high expectations of me."
"i didn't ask," wanderer replied, crossing his arms and finding a spot to fixate on and stare at for the rest of the class. chances are he knew more things politically than the professor. the asshole who wrote that essay about what he thought happened on tatarasuna sure thought he knew everything.
still though, as much as he hates it, he kept looking at you from the corner of his eye. it was easy for him to tell what kind of girl you are in these moments. you certainly had no issue sitting there, looking pretty while you listened with such foolish intent. you even took notes on the smallest, most useless things.
did you think this knowledge may come in use later?
judging from your explanation earlier, wanderer knew exactly what to capitalize on and take advantage of.
he didn't expect you to have the most interesting reactions when he bullied you.
"it must be so hard for you," wanderer cooed condescendingly, watching you survey the mess he made by knocking all your books out of your hands. "always being a goody goody. doing your homework on time, never missing class," sighing, he kicked one of notebooks out of the way as you reached down to pick it up. "you have be getting crushed under the weight."
"i..i am just so clumsy," you stumbled over your words a little, clearly flustered. wanderer licked his lips. you are just so interesting. he'd just been so mean to you. anyone should've snapped or fought back. but not you. you had the shyest flush on your cheeks. were you enjoying this?
as for you, you are. the more interactions you have with wanderer bullying you, with his enchanting electric eyes and condescending purr to his voice, the wetter you got. it was embarrassing to you. a fact that you had a hard time coming to terms with. at first.
he even used a small gust of anemo to knock your water bottle out of your hand one day, tossing water all over your shirt (it was to see your nipples harden in your bra from cold the water was), but you only looked at him with further adoration.
but his bullying just felt so good. you couldn't possibly tell him that you often fingered yourself until you were a wet, twitching mess at night after classes.
in wanderer's still very twisted mind, corrupting you would be helping you. he didn't even know when he started coming to class everyday, but you were starting to look like you weren't sleeping well. your hands shook while you took tests.
the moment you felt wanderer's hand dip into your panties for the first time, parting your folds and grazing your clit, your hips immediately jerked up to grind on his fingers. fingers that you always thought are so ungodly beautiful it should be considered a crime.
a moan you didn't even mean to let out sounded from you. the more those beautiful fingers stroked your pussy, the more it throbbed and clenched. your eyes widened in an aroused desperation, your hole clenching around the tips of his fingers as he prodded them teasingly at your entrance.
"you poor thing," wanderer cooed, "this is probably the best you have felt ever," he slowly wagged the pads of his fingers on your clit, tearing mewls from you as he just as teasingly pinched your clit. "you are so fucking wet, your cunt will suck my fingers in."
your clit throbbed, feeling shamelessly compelled to rub your soaking pussy on his fingers. "i thought you had to get to class?" he continued. your eyes widened as he started to take his hand out of your panties. "do you know how foolish it is to try and please everyone all the time?"
your hand shot out to grasp his wrist. "no, please. i don't want to go anywhere. i want to stay right here with you," you urged his hand between your legs again. "please," your eyes watered in desperation.
wanderer chuckled. did you have an idea how much of a turn on you are in general? you, the good and innocent girl was begging to skip class and stay with him with your legs spread on his bed. fuck, you deserve to have your pretty pussy stuffed full with his fingers. "who knew you are really such a slut?"
you are breaking so well under the weight of his corruption. you couldn't think about anything other than the need to feel his fingers fucking into you. thoughts you'd never had before about anyone. until wanderer.
"good girl," he tuggedyour panties off, his cock straining from watching the soaked material peel off your pussy. "moan for me while i break you. it's what you want the most, no?" he pushed two fingers inside of you, stretching you apart and hooking them to the knuckle into your sweet spot.
you nodded, jolts of pleasure crackling through you. your eyes nearly rolled closed in pleasure as he started pumping his fingers. they would've had he not put a hand on your jaw. "no, no, kitten. i wanna see those pretty eyes of yours while i make you cum," he gently squeezed your jaw to remind you of your place.
it is erotic to him how some of your moans even had a tinge of shock in them. you are coming apart so fast, your body only relaxing and submitting to him. he was devouring you, and nothing has ever felt better in your whole life.
the pumps of his fingers grew more aggressive with your consistent moans. he stretched your pussy apart so perfectly, sussing out every sensitive spot between your walls effortlessly. "a third finger, please," you moan, rocking your hips up extra to convey your plea.
wanderer was more than happy to oblige you. he abruptly added a third finger, bullying it against your sweet spot. a near scream of pleasure tore from your throat. "are you feeling good, slut?" his cock pulsed as your walls snapped tighter around his fingers. you obviously enjoy being degraded. "you'll tend to my cock next, yes?"
you struggled to even nod, your cheeks flushed with adoration. "yes! i want to more than anything!" you cried out, stroking his wrist in appreciation as your orgasm curled tighter, your juices frothing and gathering on the insides of your thighs.
"oh? more than going to class or pleasing your family?" wanderer couldn't wait for your inevitable response. a response that would no doubt make him want to impale you on his cock even more. he couldn't break you too fast.
could he?
"yes, yes please! so much more than..than.." your words fell away, the knot of your orgasm building and tightening to an almost overwhelming degree. "anything!" you barely managed to cry out, twitching and writhing as you scrambled to chase the wonderful high unlike any other that he was providing.
wanderer couldn't help but laugh shakily, slowly stroking his cock. you look more beautiful breaking than he imagined. he knew he didn't have to keep his hand on your chin anymore. you couldn't and wouldn't dream of taking your eyes off. not when he'd demanded you to keep looking at him while you cum.
#genshin impact#genshin smut#fem!reader#genshin imagines#scaramouche#scaramouche smut#scaramouche x reader#scaramouche x y/n#scaramouche x you#wanderer#wanderer smut#wanderer x y/n#wanderer x you#wanderer x reader#tw bullying
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since papi is here to stay imagine him with the reader and like him calling himself papa/papi instead of like dada or daddy
I AM SO SORRY THIS GOT LOST IN MY INBOX! 💔
Last night had been horrible. Both you and Auston had been up half the night, up and down until the sun had come up. Crying, screaming, and an unwillingness to lay down, had been the trifecta that lead to one of the worst nights the two of you had had since becoming new parents.
"Why don't you get some sleep, babe?" Auston whispered, watching you pace the floor with the baby in your arms. "I can take over from here."
You looked at him, eyes heavy and body pained from hours of walking circles. Sleep sounded so good -even just the thought- but with how much pain you were in, you wondered if you'd even be able to get any rest if given the chance. "C'mon, you look like you're about to fall asleep standing up."
His arms were outstretched, waiting for you to go along with his plan but you were reluctant. It wasn't because you didn't think he couldn't handle it, but you felt like you were getting close to some sort of breakthrough. But, on the other hand, maybe you were delusional?
"I'm gonna draw you a bath,, then it's my turn, okay? You deserve the break."
Before you could tell him no, he had already slipped out of the room, leaving you to continue bouncing the fussy baby who simply refused to nap. The searing pain across your shoulders burned with each movement you took; your feet ached, causing pain to radiate up your legs and settling in your lower back. Auston simply couldn't return soon enough, and when he did, you finally understood why he wanted you to take a break.
"Go on, mama. My turn." His smile was so warm, so inviting; his voice soft and full of love. "Take some time to yourself. We'll be alright."
Less reluctantly than before, you let Auston take your baby into his arms before giving you a soft kiss to your forehead. Slowly, due to the stiffness in your body, and the corresponding pain, you left the bedroom and went into adjoining bathroom. You'd get undressed as fast as you could and fully submerge yourself in the hot water. Like a rope being unraveled, the tension slowly melted away bit by bit and you'd finally allow your eyes to fall closed, although careful not to fall asleep.
After maybe thirty minutes or so, you wrapped yourself in one of Auston's robes and went to see how things were going, since you hadn't heard any crying. Silently, you wandered back into the bedroom where Auston was sitting on his side of the bed --his back to you--quietly talking to your baby.
"Shhh, shh, it's alright. It's alright. Papa's right here."
You'd put your fingers to your lips, smiling at the heartwarming moment you felt you were eavesdropping on. Auston was such a soft soul; a teddy bear when he felt comfortable enough to let his personality come through. Since becoming a father, it was like you had discovered a whole new side of him and it was such a wonderful journey to be on. But this moment? This was something different because he didn't know you were watching him.
You'd relish the memory for a moment before quietly making your way over to them. "How's it going?" You asked, laying your hand softly on his shoulder.
Auston smiled up at you, "We're alright, how are you?"
"I'm better, thank you. Need some help?"
He just shook his head, "No, mama, get some rest. I'm going to put this little one down for awhile then I'll come join you. You've done enough for today."
You'd give him a kiss before he rose to his feet. You could tell in his movements, that he was also feeling the effects of being up with so few hours of sleep. He was the best partner you could have ever asked for; one so selfless when it came to fatherly responsibilities. Turning back the covers of your bed, you'd wait for him to return before allowing yourself to succumb to any amount of rest you were granted. Thankfully, after just a few minutes, Auston returned to your bedroom -- his eyelids heavy with exhaustion.
"Come here, papi," you motioned, "Come to bed."
"What a night," he exhaled, nearly falling into the bed. "I don't think I've ever felt so tired."
"Me either," you replied, your sigh expressing more than your words. "We should probably get some sleep incase it starts again."
Auston looked at you concerned, "Please, not so loud... Don't tempt Fate like that, mama. I need more than just a two hour nap."
His words made you smile. You told him you'd take first shift so he could get some beauty sleep. Thankfully, his eyeroll was accompanied with a smile, or else you thought you may have hurt his feelings.
#🗣 hockey mom daydreams#auston matthews imagine#auston matthews#auston matthews x reader#auston matthews fic#auston matthews fanfic
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Emily engstler x passenger princess!reader go on a road trip
can be one shot/headcannon
emily engstler x passenger princess!gf hcs
˚ · .·˚ ༘*ೃ༄ʬ꩜ emily engstler and passenger princess gf on a roadtrip,,
— it’s……. so chaotic
— she’s trying to body slam all of your bags into the trunk while you sit and watch
- you always ask if she wants help but she says no.
— once the two of you finally get on the road she’s a little more relaxed
— her hand is immediately on some part of your body
- hand, shoulder, back of your neck, thighs, anywhere she can reach tbh
— you guys listen to sapphic music together!!
- she’s always giving you the aux 🤗
— if the roadtrip is late at night she gets really sappy for some reason
- always giving some love-drunk confession
- “i can’t wait to marry you.”
- “i always felt like green was your color baby.”
- “i love it when you hum.”
— “can i have a kiss?”
- “but you’re driving?”
- “doesn’t matter.”
— she ALWAYS insists on driving
— she also always tries to pack you snacks for the road and a blanket so you can be cozy
— “oh my god that fast food is making my car stink so bad.”
- “no im pretty sure that’s your attitude stinking it up in here.”
— you need to use the bathroom every hour…..
— windows down on summer days >>>>
— “you look so pretty right now.”
— if you brought a book to read she’ll ask if you can read it out loud
— “i’m so hungry i’m gonna eat you emily.”
- “i wouldn’t mind.”
— “baby don’t put your feet on the dash, that’s dangerous.”
— even though she packs you snacks you always end up getting something at the gas station or some fast food restaurant
— you always get out of the car with her at the gas station because you just want to hold and kiss her
- it’s been awhile and you miss her
— “can i get a chip please?”
- you feed it to her 🤗
— you guys play stupid games together to help the time pass
- “ok.. lemme think. oh! ok ok i got one. she’s a ten buuuuttttt she never brushes her teeth.”
- “ew what?! gross. zero. she’s a zero.”
— you’re always taking scenic photos
— sometimes you like to video the roadtrip just for cute memories
— “babe there’s something in the road..”
- “OH SHIT”
- “OH MY GOD OH MY FUCK! DONT SWERVE LIKE THAT EM.”
— “i forgot my water so im gonna drink some of yours.”
— she tries to keep you awake as long as possible but you falling asleep is just inevitable
- will talk your ear off anyway
— emily likes to take pictures of you when you fall asleep
- when she shows you said pictures you get mad because,
- “why are you on your phone if you’re driving.”
— “you look really cozy over there…”
- “i am. thanks for noticing.”
- gives you the most diabolical side-eye
— lets not talk about that time you teased her though……. iykyk
— she likes holding your hand and kissing your knuckles
- says it helps her focus
— you like holding her hand and playing with her fingers or tracing her tattoos
— “are we almost there?!”
— you always wear fluffy socks 🤗🤗🤗
— you guys always scream song lyrics together LMAO
— “that sign says tennessee but babe.. you’re the only ten i see.”
- “please never speak again.”
— you always lean the seat all the way back
- it pisses emily off LOL
— “babe i think you need to put your shoes back on.. somethings stinks..”
-……….
- “OW! babe i was just joking.”
˚ · .·˚ ༘*ೃ༄ʬ꩜
enjoy!!!
i had to make this twice cause i accidentally swiped out right as i finished it…….. 👹
#emily engstler i love you#rea loves em#emily engstler fic#emily engstler smut#emily engstler imagine#emily engstler x reader#emily engstler blurb#emily engstler#emily engstler headcannons#wlw slay#wlw imagine#wlw post#masc lesbian#lesbian imagine#lesbian#queer#bisexual#lgbtq#lgbtqia
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sharing a bed with…hal, barry, roy
finally writing for my faves again!!
these are some quick headcanons i’m writing on a road trip 🧡
including: hal jordan, barry allen, roy harper

Hal Jordan:
• falls asleep the second his head hits the pillow.
• literally, can and will fall asleep in 5 minutes, maybe less
• if you have trouble falling asleep, (like me!) hal will try to stay up with you, but no promises!
• he goes to bed whenever he feels like it, which is usually around 11-2
• literally owns one, sad pillow and a throw blanket. he is a mess of a man!!
• luckily you help him out, he now has 2!!!!!! pillows!!!! and a big fluffy blanket, including his old, semi ratty throw blanket
• he’s okay sleeping with lights or no light. he adjusts very well and quickly, so he’ll sleep with whatever you prefer!
• freaking worst snore-er ever!!! he sounds like a old truck on its last adventure. its loud and obnoxious, but it also ends up feeling like home,
• its like your special white noise lmfao
• only semi cuddly, he’ll reach out to hold your arm in his sleep. he also is a bed hog, get out of his way!!!
• his arms also are wild in his sleep, throwing one over his head, other reaching out for you • likes NO noise when he’s sleep, no white noise, no whirl of fans. silence plz and thanks
• he sleeps very stretched out, takes up most of the bed…

Barry Allen:
• has some trouble sleeping, it takes him around 30 mins - an hour
• he goes to bed at different times, it depends on what he did that day and how tired he is
• one night he goes to bed at 11 and next night he goes to bed at 9!!
• he loves to stay up, limbs tangled with yours as he rambles about stuff to you!!
• he uses a very dim nightlight, if it isn’t bright enough for some light to come in through the windows
• he luckily doesn’t hog the bed or blankets, it’s a perfect split between the two of you
• Barry likes to make tea before bed!! he has all your favorite flavors too
• he always sleeps in cozy, fluffy socks :3
• sleep cuddles!!! expect to wake up in the dead of night to find him draped across you
• follows the no blue light rule before bed, he’s usually winding down at least 40 mins before he plans for sleep
• if he’s really busy on a case or something, he will forget that rule
• he’s a morning bird. he wakes up just a little before the sun, he likes to look at you in your ethereal, sunlight face
• he’s really into doing morning routines together, or just any and all routines together , actually just slowly start incorporating him into your routines
• also I think his temperature would run a little warmer than the average person, so in winter you have a nice heater blanket (barry himself)

Roy Harper:
• he goes to bed usually around 12 pm
• some nights he can pass out within 10 minutes, other nights it takes literal hours. it really just depends on the day he’s had
• when he can’t sleep, he gets up to do something else for awhile, so there’s lots of nights where you wake up and find him in the living room, playing a video game
• he can get around just fine with a wink of sleep, so staying up doesn’t bother him too much
• he snores and drools a lot, you’ll wake up and he’s drooling on your pillow
• he’s a sleep kicker!! you wake up with bruises on your legs and lower back and your just like ???? wtf????
• moves around alot too, won’t stay still and tosses and turns like his life depends on it
• sometimes when he’s really sleepy but just can’t fall asleep, he plays his guitar
• he doesn’t care about the no screens before bed rule, he will watch tv and then go to bed minutes later
• he likes white noise, so he has a box fan on usually, it’s nice in the hot summers
• that being said, he also enjoys sleeping with a window open, the cool air and breeze feels nice and he loves hearing the outside world
• usually sleeps shirtless and it’s hawt 😍

What’s this?? a bonus character?! :0
Kyle Rayner!!
• he goes to sleep really late, like around 1 am if not later
• he claims he is his most inspired self at night, at that he either needs to jot down his ideas or start them
• he lays like all cradled up, knees up to his chest, arms cradling his legs
• he drools too :)) but not nearly as much as hal, just little pools
• biggest stinkiest worst blanket hog!! you have a good amount of blankets on your bed and he takes them all for himself!!!!
• he likes to wrap his arm around you before sleep / in his sleep
• sometimes you’ll catch him doodling in bed, leaving eraser bits everywhere (as an artist i draw in bed too, and despise eraser bits)
• big yawns always, stretches and yaaawwwwnns
• play with his hair right NEOW!!!

thank you for reading <33
started: 5.30.25
finished: 6.2.25
#eveys writing#not proofread#dc#hal jordan#hal jordan x you#hal jordan x reader#hal jordan headcanons#hal jordan imagines#hal jordan imagine#hal jordan green lantern#hal jordan hcs#barry allen#barry allen x you#barry allen x reader#barry allen imagines#barry allen headcanon#barry allen imagine#roy harper#roy harper x you#roy harper x reader#roy harper headcanon#roy harper imagine#roy harper blurb#kyle rayner#kyle rayner x you#kyle rayner x reader#kyle rayner headcanons#kyle rather imagine
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BUT I’M A CHEERLEADER .ᐟ.ᐟ
𓊆ྀི❤︎𓊇ྀི now playing Diet Mountain Dew - Lana Del Rey 𓊆ྀི❤︎𓊇ྀི
“you’re no good for me, but baby I want you.”
sophia laforteza x reader ⋮ you’re a cheerleader, you don’t like girls. especially not that oddity of a football player sophia.
warning you! ⋆ slight internalized homophobia, i went to most my football games and i still have no clue abt it



“i want this to be sharper girls!” your coach yelled, for about the tenth time. the homecoming prep rally was coming up soon and your coach would not take good for a end result. she wanted perfect. she was going over routines for touchdowns, fumbles, & a down. and also the half time performance
soon after you found yourself in the bleachers, in the middle cheering for the girls. cheers erupted from your mouth and stomps shook the bleachers. you were apart of the tumblers who did tricks on the track that surrounded the football field. perfecting your skills everyday from practice, you flawlessly hits stunts, jumps and flips. you had been facing away from the field when you felt a rush of a air, a yell, a scream, and then you felt the track ground. someone had fell into you.
“holy shit! i am so sorry, i didn���t think i was running that far to catch it!” a girls voice said. you touched your head, the headache hitting hard and pain in your foot made you struggle. she took off her helmet, a sweaty face and dark hair cascading down her neck. she kneeled down grabbing your hand and pulling you up gently.
“i- are you okay?” she had asked as she helped you stand up, one of your feet slightly hovering above the track. you looked up at her clueless. no words came up, and why not? because her face was so distracting. no— no it wasn’t, you just got caught off guard, that was all.
“do you have a concussion, can you hear me?” she look concerned that you were just staring at her.
“sorry— um my foot, i don’t think i can walk on it.” you responded to her. the nurse then came over to you and helped you up onto a bed on the side. for some reason sophia trailed right behind her. she looked like a kicked puppy. she probably felt like one too.
“i am so so so sorry! i know your performing in the halftime and i feel really bad!” she started to ramble on to you. “look its okay um—” “sophia.” “sophia, it’s fine, you didn’t mean it, we shouldn’t had been turned around aways..” you said. it was kinda stupid to be looking at the crowd instead of the players.
“you’re gonna need to stay off this foot for awhile, there’s no signs of a concussion so you should be fine in time for the halftime performance.” the nurse said as she placed a ice pack on your foot and told you to rest there for awhile. you watched the game from the sidelines, or rather sophia from the sidelines. it was only because she was only player you could recognize, no other reason.
the next day at school you found yourself with a cast on your foot and you walked weakly around the hallways. then you unlocked your locker to place some books you didn’t need for next period. then closing your locker you found a tall dark hair football player on the other side of the door. practically scaring you and you always fell again.
“woah, didn’t mean to make you drop.” she said with a laugh. “well you almost did, funny job sophia.” you said rolling your eyes. “sorry. look i just came over here to give you this. i asked your friend. the one with the blonde curly hair? she said you liked these.” she referred to your friend daniela, passing you candy bar that you loved since the dawn of times.
“it’s an apology candy. you know, for what happened last night.” she said sheepishly. she smiled at her and thanked her for it “you really didn’t have to, but i appreciate sophia.” she smiled and left to her class.
about a hour later you went to the lunchroom. sitting with your friends daniela & harvey. they had their lunches, eating and chatting. they greeted you and you joined in on the talking. you disengaged from the conversation for a minute to take out the candy bar that was in your pocket. mindlessly eating it.
“no way you went to the store without us?” harvey said, often times you guys went off campus to get snacks during lunchtime. but today wasn’t a day you planned to. “no, it’s uh— from that football player, as a apology.” you said.
“hm, that’s why she asked me about your favorite candy.” daniela said, biting down on the sub sandwich. “huh, cute.” harvey said. you paid harvey no mind as you finished it. the lunch period was over and they threw their lunch away. all of three of you started to walk to class. one by one dropping each other off. harvey dropped you off and left to her own class.
two weeks past and you were now fully healed in time for the homecoming game. you and sophia and grown closer but you paid it no mind. that she was just being friendly. after school you and daniela were at practice. practicing stunts on the sidelines and routine. the coach gave the girls a break and daniela and you sat down as you watched the football player(s) practice. tonight was a big rivalry and they just had to beat them. you could recognize a certain football player anywhere. many times cheer practice overlapped with football practice. so you’d see sophia more often then you thought.
then the players came off the field for a break and she slid herself right next to you. her head resting on your shoulder. mindlessly you played with her hair. it had been something you got used to, every time you saw her at practice during breaks you would hang out together and talk together.
later on you were in the changing room, putting on your uniform for the halftime show. and so was sophia. you were sitting lacing up your shoes, not really paying attention to whoever was next to you. until you felt somebody slide over and wrap a arm around your shoulders. “hey y/n” sophia smiled. you giggled and said hey back. then turning your head, not realizing how close her face was. so close you could feel her breath. so close you could see how perfect her eyelashes were, and how perfect those lips were. so perfect you could just kiss them. and you did.
her lips against yours felt so familiar for something new but then. you woke up. your eyes opened and you realized what you were doing. you pulled away from her at what went through your mind, you touched your lips, looked at her and moved back.
“i don’t— um- im supposed to be on the sidelines. i have to go.” and at that you got up without looking behind you. speed walking out room and running to the field. your mind was spiraling. why’d you kiss sophia? you don’t like her, you don’t like girls. your a cheerleader. you thought. you didn’t say anything and as the game started minutes later. that football player caught your eye again, and you didnt know if these were good reasons or bad reasons.
you watched them play back and forth, fumbles, flags, touchdowns and all. then it was time for the halftime show. first the band with the dancers took over the field. baritones, trumpets, drums played loud as ever. you watched intently as they played. your mind running through your own performance. cheers erupted from the bleachers. as well as the players on the sideline. then it was time for the cheerleaders.
your heart was not in its normal place, it was ten times deeper. and you could feel it every time you moved. locking into your starting position, you counted over and over in your head as danced to the music. you hoped that you wouldn’t mess up any stunts. hoping you wouldn’t drop any flips. while you were in position for a move you caught the eye of sophia. you didn’t know if it was a face of “i’m proud of you” or if it’s “please talk to me again” and if you knew any better it was probably the second thought. after the performance was over yo posed for the ending. and then moved. cheers also erupted for you.
after that the players were back on the field and hustling. this was a rival team they could let put them out in their field. seconds on the clock, sophia ran down the field, ball in a hand, going to the end, getting a touchdown last second. the bleachers were loud, they gladly put the rival team to shame. then. they held the players up cheering and clapping for everybody.
you were sat on the bleachers waiting for you and daniela’s ride. her mom always picked you both up. you had been on the sidelines packing up some things you’d left over there.
“hey.”
you felt your heart stop. sophia. you got up and turned around to face her.
“i’m sorry about the kiss i—“ she said, everything moved in slow motion. and without thinking you pulled her into a hug. your arms tightly around her neck. you had came to the conclusion that if there was anybody to kiss it was to be her. you liked girls, you liked sophia, even if you were a cheerleader.
you moved from her embrace and held her face in your palms.
“i’m sorry, i didn’t think i liked her girls. i didn’t think i liked you, im a cheerleader, you know? ‘m supposed to be the the top football player jock. but i think i want you. i like this football player more than any one.” you said, pointing to her.
she smiled to you, her hands on your waist. “so can i kiss you?” she smiled as she questioned you. you nodded as she pressed a chaste kiss on your lips.
“i like you sophia.”
“i like you too, cheerleader.”
#sophia laforteza#sophia laforteza x reader#sophia laforteza imagines#katseye#katseye x reader#katseye imagines
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[TWST] Azul Ashengrotto X Reader
Warnings: Azul Ashengrotto, Fluff
A/N: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO AZUL!! I LOVE THIS OCTO FELLA ALOT! though it took me awhile to think of what to write
Summary: To just sum it up quickly because sadly this is short as I am sadly tired asf "You're Inlove" "I think you're delusional" "AND we think you're in denial come on Azul~! You think shrimpys a cutie" "Hush"
The sound of clattering was heard as you were hurriedly holding a metal tray in your hands. A wrapped present beside the plate of food and newspaper, as your shoes clicked against the floor heading down the hallways of Octanivelle. Your hands tightened around the Tray glancing over your shoulder to see Jade grinning from down the hallway giving a slight wave with Floyd randomly appearing behind Jade with a glint in his eyes. You were called over to Octavinelle by Floyd well more like dragged when Azul told Jade and Floyd the day before that he would of enjoyed being greeted with breakfast in bed with the daily newspaper so here you were standing in front of Azul is dorm door with a tray in your hand with the present you got him. Entering upon the room you couldn't help but awkwardly giggle at Azul sleeping tiredly on his bed. Placing the tray near Azul is bedside table your hand reached out to touch Azul is shoulder shaking hm your voice hushed "Azul... Azul wake up" silence only came from Azul as you slowly started to poke Azul is cheek giggling quietly when seeing him twitch in bed. Azuls light greyish wavy hair was a mess cheek pressed against the plush pillow as you couldn't help but notice how soft and relaxed his face was compared to the one he'd usually have on a false facade of a con man with a smile that told people to run. For a moment you were stuck staring at his sleeping face before your face turned bright holding your head in your hands at how attractive Azul looked even if he was asleep and how unfair it was. Such a vulnerable moment to see Azul was a rare sight a moment that you couldn't help but smile at once more before relaxing and softly looking back at his sleeping figure before going over to poke Azul awake. A laugh came from you when seeing the male sit up tiredly waving your hand away from poking his face "Floyd cease to poke me awake I wake up at this time anyways as the newspaper is always here-" Silence filled the room Azul face to face with you and your e/c eyes that were glinting wit mischief causing Azul to flinch a blush coating on his cheeks "[MC?!]" "Azul! Happy birthday" You cheered taking out a small party horn placed on your lips that you blew into that lightly hit Azul is cheek the mer not entertained and still tired. "[MC] Good morning to you too- Eh wait why are you in my room?" you couldn't help but shrug "Floyd and Jade" Azul couldn't help but sigh rubbing his temples "and I just woke up how lovely" Azul muttered voice filled with distain as you placed a trey on Azul is lap the male smiling softly thanking you as he noticed the Newspaper and the small gift on the tray. Azul sighed as he read his Newspaper glancing at you as you were laying beside him rambling to him about having to deal with Grim and the idiotic things happening. Even as a few minutes passed of reading Azul fixed his glasses "Hm the newspaper always come on time" "Most likely Jade he reminded me to give it to you" "Of course he would" he muttered as he paused glancing at the purple coloured box that was wrapped with a white ribbon that raised up to him causing Azul to raise a brow "A gift for me...?" "Well duh its your birthday is it not?" "Indeed it is but you perhaps wouldn't be using this for favors later on if so there would be some consequences" A tense atmosphere soon came from you while you spoke "Well okay..? anyways here's your gift... Happy birthday Azul enjoy it" Azul couldn't help but have his entire attention focus onto you eyes widening at how you smiled the way your face lit up at him, your features that you claimed as flaws made him want to compliment your beauty so the moment your hands touched his for a bit longer faster placing the gift he shakily thanked you as you smiled towards him.
Azul felt the bed shift as you got off smiling at him "Like I said happy birthday and enjoy your gift" "Going back so early?" "Grim is gonna bite me if I don't come back. See you in class?" Azul nodded his head "See you in class" He watched your figure leave his room door opened slight as a small huff came from Azul focused onto the wrapped gift in his hand his fingers wrapped around the box touching the edges while smiling softly undoing the ribbon to see a golden bracelet that glinted as its design littered with small doodles of waves and small charms one of the charms being an octopus. His hands wrapped around the bracelet with delicacy before leaving his bed to get ready after washing his face he couldn't help but let out a small noise coming from the door a familiar one at that coming from a childhood friend of his. “What do you want Jade?” Azul grumbled fixing the bracelet that wrapped around his wrist “Your in love” he mocked. The shock of his words hit Azul like a lightning strike his face slightly flushing in different shades “I think you’re being delusional.” he scoffed, “AND we think you're in denial come on Azul~! You think shrimpys a cutie” Floyd added peeping into Azul is bedroom Right over Jade, Azul huffed “HUSH!” Azul clicked his tongue as he fiddled with his pajamas. Azul’s eyes bored into the vanity in front of him hands reaching to cup his own face to make sure his makeup was perfect eyes glancing towards a polaroid of you two together. With you grinning stupidly at the Camera one arm over Azul is shoulder posing after beanfest. Even though the monster team which Azul was on win you were smiling posing with him in the polaroid. He couldn’t help but freeze when hearing a snort coming from Jade; Azul snapped his head towards the doorway at the two clicking his tongue “Even if I did. It wouldn’t work out either way… {MC} is a human a MAGICLESS Human at that, I’m a Mer, a Octopous Mer at that… it would never work out... We come from different worlds literally” Azul grumbled fixing his robe tying the knot as Jade gave a sly smile towards the male "They put a smile on your face that isn't the depressive one you wear to con someone ehe...” Azul scoffed looking away trying to hide how his lips twitched up at the thought of you. The tweels started giggling to each other when noticing how Azul was smiling to himself hiding it behind his hand with the bracelet you had gifted him shined as it was wrapped around his wrist. The poor octo mer couldn’t get the thought of you out of his mind and he couldn’t WAIT to be around you again sooner rather then later even if it was just for a moment something that would make his birthday better.
#twst x reader#azul ashengrotto#azul x reader#azul twst#azul twisted wonderland#Twst X Y/N#Twst X Reader#Twst X You#twisted wonderland x reader#twisted wonderland fanfiction#twisted wonderland#twisted series#Azul X You#fluff#x reader#headcannons#disney twst#disney twisted wonderland#Twst X reader#twst fluff#twst#twst fanfiction#twst fanfic#azul ashengrotto x reader#twst azul#Octavinelle#octavinelle x eader
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Could You Stay a Little Longer // drug dealer!sukuna x reader
Masterlist

Chapter 4 // (8.8k words) // Explicit - 18+
\|/ AO3 - Chapter 4 | << Chapter 3 | Chapter 5 >>
You're pursuing a master degree across the country, but are currently back in your hometown housesitting for your parents. They've told you all about their undesirable new neighbor, but when you start to get to know said neighbor, you realize he isn't all that bad. Your controlling boyfriend won't let up on you and you grapple with enjoying the company of this drug dealing neighbor boy, Sukuna. Nothing about this is going the way you planned, but is it so bad to let yourself be treated well for a change?
The cultural setting for this is technically economically depressed, rural USA where good paying jobs are hard to come by and there's not many opportunities in small towns, but it could really be anywhere that meets this criteria!
Content Tags/Warnings Throughout Work: Reader and Sukuna are mid 20s, mentions of recreational drug use and drug dealing, mentions of abusive/controlling/manipulative relationship (not Sukuna), could possibly be considered cheating depending on your interpretation (not Sukuna), angst, smut, fluff, time skip, prison time, happy ending trust!
AN: FYI we go on a date but it's nothing super graphic. Also I don't know much about the inner workings of a relationship with an inmate, so I apologize if anything seems weird, I just hope I am capturing the complicated feelings that would come with it. Italicized portions are letters between us and Sukuna and bold time stamps are how many months have passed since Sukuna was arrested.
2 Months
Sukuna,
Sorry I haven’t reached out until now. It took awhile to figure out how to mail this to you, and it was hard to know what to say at first. I feel bad talking about my life out here knowing you are confined to a cell. Your lawyer told me your hearing is next month. Thank you for letting him contact me and keep me in the loop. Mr. Higuruma is a nice man and seems like a good lawyer. I don’t wanna to get my hopes up, but I’m optimistic that he can help make this better, maybe that’s just me in denial though.
Enough rambling, how are you though? Are you nervous? Scared? I’m sorry I’m so naive to what prison life is like…have you made friends? If that’s a stupid question just tell me. What’s your room like? I have so many questions, if this is annoying just tell me. The last thing I wanna do is irritate you considering you’ll get one of these every other month.
I’ve been able to hang out with my friends a lot since I got back home. When they heard I’d broken up with Cam, they were so happy. They never held it against me, but they truly didn’t know how else to help me while we were together because I wouldn’t listen to them. Having an outside party like you was really what I needed to finally cut the cord. It’s weird not being around him all the time, but I’m slowly learning how to trust myself and be independent again.
Surprisingly he has pretty much left me alone. I think me cheating on him knocked him down a few pegs and made him see I’m not the huge pushover he made me out to be. Oh well, onto bigger and better things.
The spring semester is almost over for me, I’m planning to teach some undergrad classes to make a little extra money but other than that I’m going to try and take it easy. Maybe do some hiking and camping, I’d like to climb some of the mountains out here so I’m going to start preparing for when the snow melts off the highest peaks.
I’ve included my address with this, so I hope you can write me back. I miss you, feel free to call me anytime.
I hope this isn’t a weird sign off, but I do love you and hope you are okay. Don’t feel pressured to reciprocate.
3 months
Sukuna smiles when he sees the letter come in. The guard had slid it through the bars before he woke up so it was a nice surprise.
How am I? Fucking bored out of my mind, he thinks to himself, chuckling under his breath. You are so nice though and he appreciates how thoughtful you are, but goddamn anything you share is more interesting than what’s in here. Starting at a concrete wall and a steel wall of bars can only be so stimulating.
He won’t be calling you, that will just make things harder for him and you. He stands by his words of wanting you to have a normal life and leaving you to figure out whether or not you want to leave him behind.
God he wants to reciprocate those three words. Nothing in his mind right now is constant, every day feels different even though the motions are the same: Wake up, breakfast, back to the cell, lunch, some yard time, back to the cell, dinner, back to the cell. Day in and day out.
While the physical routine is repetitive, his emotions and feelings are a roller coaster, never knowing how he will feel when he wakes up in the morning and when his head hits the pillow at night. He has no idea what his future holds, everything in the hands of some damn judge who just knows him by his charges and a lawyer who probably just sees him as another paycheck. He’ll get paid whether he wins or loses.
The only thing he can be sure of is his love for you, and that grounds him just a little. The thought that someone outside these walls cares and worries for him brings some comfort in those moments of panic.
Sukuna’s parents were beside themselves when they heard and offered no support. He tried to explain himself, but to them, it was just another failure in the litany of fuckups that was his adult life.
How could he blame them? He just got lucky he met you when he did, you didn’t know him as the kid who could never get his shit together, who’d let everyone down for years. The piece of shit who wasted his parent’s money and time.
Then again, you are joining him on this next chapter of his life which will surely be nothing but him disappointing you, so maybe you’ll feel the same way by the time he gets out, or more likely, sooner than that and drop his ass. This is why he doesn’t want to get his hopes up.
He reads the letter over and over while lying on his bunk and eventually starts to read it every night before bed. Touching the same paper that your hands held before you sealed it up, the smeared ink that he can tell you brushed by accident brings him a comfort that he can’t explain. Maybe if he’s lucky, you kissed it before sliding it into the envelope.
He stares up at the same ceiling he’s been looking at for three months now. Sukuna’s not sure if he’s slowly starting to lose his mind, but he swears he can discern patterns and shapes in the texture of the material. Squinting his eyes, he tries to put a name to the shapes, but it all just looks like a jumbled mess, an accurate representation of his current mental state.
His mind wanders to you as it normally does, the crushing feeling of shame and remorse settling in as he thinks about how he could be with you right now if he hadn’t stopped driving, if he’d let that family die.
Having nothing to do but think all day does dangerous things to his mind. Once he gets sentenced and settled for a while, things should get better and he should get to participate in the various prison programs and activities available to a long term inmate. For now all he can do is work out and watch his pink hair get longer and messier. Oh and overthink every millisecond of his life to date and wonder what you were doing and who you were thinking about when you’re alone.
He prays you won’t hate him, but he wouldn’t blame you if you did when it’s all said and done.
4 months
Tomato girl!
Long time no talk. I’m assuming you know what my sentencing is from Mr. Hiruguma. Ten years with the opportunity for parole. Shit sucks, I’m determined to hopefully get this parole though, whenever that is. Mr. H said usually after serving a quarter to a third of the time they’ll reassess, but he said depending on the needs of the prison system and if they need more space, inmates can get moved around or even moved to parole early.
How am I doing? Honestly, scared, sad, bored, any and all combinations of these words.
Some things I am hopeful about though? Now that I’ve been processed and placed in my new home (long term detention facility :P) I can start participating in the prison programs. Thankfully I was deemed not a threat or a danger to others and myself, so I was able to go to a lower security facility that is focused on rehabilitation. I should be able to finish my degree, AND, they have trade programs I can get into as well. Pretty cool right? I had no idea this was even a thing.
So maybe my plans aren’t as out of reach as I thought, just a bit delayed. It’s the first glimmer of hope I’ve felt in months. There is something relieving about not being caught up in a life of moving drugs and running an empire. Like I can finally just breathe and start over. Obviously being locked up is not the ideal way I’d have liked to do that, but I’m grasping at anything positive at this point.
I’ve made a few friends since coming to my new facility. My cellmate, Gojo, was a dealer from a rival organization. There’s some bad blood, but at the end of the day we respect each other. He wants to be better too, he’s got a girl on the outside, so we have that in common. He has a kid though he hasn’t seen. He got her pregnant right before he got arrested so she was born while he was incarcerated. He’s never met her, never seen her first anything. It makes me sad and it’s not even my kid.
…you aren’t pregnant with a little mini me are you? The thought never crossed my mind until I met him and told him about you. I might actually lose it if that’s the case. I wouldn’t hate it though, it would just mean I’m the fuckin’ man and have the most elite swimmers ha. Just wouldn’t want to leave you alone to go through that.
Fuck Cam, don’t wanna hear about him anymore. He’s lucky I’m locked up is all I can say. I’m glad he’s gone for good.
Please share anything and everything, I wanna hear it all. Also ask me random questions, nothing is off limits.
Hiking and camping sound awesome, I haven't done that in years but now I want to when I get out. I love fishing too. Something so relaxing when it’s just you and the river. Even if I didn’t catch anything, it was never a wasted day in my eyes.
Hopefully I’ll have a more interesting update when I’m more settled, but I guess for now I’ll just buckle up for this ten year long ride and hope some luck is on my side.
With love and a kiss on the cheek,
Sukuna
PS - do you ever seen patterns or objects in the texture of ceilings? Let me know, I’m collecting data.
5 months
You practically drop all your mail when you see the letter from Sukuna in your slot in the mail room. It takes all your willpower to wait to tear it open until you get up to your apartment.
You sit down on the couch and carefully open the envelope, not trusting yourself to stay standing once you finally lay eyes on it.
His lawyer had unfortunately shared the news about the sentencing and it had broken you when you heard.
Your friends knew about the man behind bars. You’d shared the story one day when they dragged it out of you after breaking down in tears, overwhelmed by everything. They were very supportive and listened to everything you had to share, but also felt Sukuna wasn’t completely off base with wanting you to live your life. Ten years was a long ass time and it seemed unrealistic to expect you to wait for someone you’d known for so little time.
At one of your wine nights, you’d found his social media pages to show them what he looked like. Going through old pictures of young Sukuna had you all laughing, he was such a little punk and must’ve thought he was the hottest shit in high school and college with that fratty attire. White backwards hats over a mess of pink hair while holding red solo cups surely full of some kind of cheap beer with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth seemed to be his staple. You wished you could tease him in person but through a letter would have to do.
They agreed though that his most recent pictures were hot and were very proud of you for fucking him all night.
Speaking of that, you were absolutely not pregnant. You can’t deny that the thought crossed your mind given how many times he’d blown his load inside you, but that birth control held strong, leaving you childfree. You can’t even fathom how much worse this could have been, raising your felon baby daddy’s child by yourself for ten years. Your parents would have just been thrilled.
Which by the way, they knew nothing about what happened. Well, not exactly nothing, but an abridged version. Just that you’d met the neighbor and hung out with him a few times while you were house sitting. They were unaware of the anguish and suffering that had followed as everything blew up in your face.
7 months
Papa Kuna,
Let’s address the elephant in the room, you are not going to be a dad, at least with me…not sure about anyone before me though :D
That’s great that you get along with your cellmate. I’m sure it’s a little less lonely in there with someone you can at least interact with. I think being scared and nervous is completely normal. You got dropped into an unknown place where you knew nobody and had no idea how things operate, who wouldn’t be affected?
The news about your degree and trade school…that is so fantastic!! I looked into it too and sure enough, that’s a thing in other prisons. I hope they’ll see you want to be better when you get out and that helps your parole chances.
I stalked your social media and saw some pictures of high school and college Sukuna. You were…something haha. Showed my friends too, we all had a good laugh, but we all agreed you were a cutie. I was so lame at that age you’d never have looked my way, I’m lucky I met you when I did.
What is prison food like? I’ve been cooking a lot of Mexican food lately, throwing anything and everything into a taco.
I’ve climbed three mountains so far this summer. I’ll have to show you the pictures one day, for now enjoy this stick figure drawing of me on a mountain at the bottom. I didn’t look nearly as happy as that horrible drawing shows me, more like a hot mess gasping for breath. But the views were amazing! I could see for an eternity it felt like, and I was really proud of myself for doing something like that.
My classes I teach are full of some real brats. A lot of them are having to retake the class in the summer to stay on track and they just have the worst attitudes and seem to take it out on me. Like guys I didn’t tell you to fail, I’m just here. I don’t get paid enough for that shit.
Staring up at my ceiling now, I can see a few things. A dog, an alligator, and a banana are what I’m sort of seeing. What do you see?
For your random questions:
Did you play any sports growing up? I played soccer and basketball.
What’s been your favorite vacation? Mine was a trip to a national park seeing all the animals. Especially grizzly and black bears.
What did you want to be when you grew up? I wanted to be a doctor but realized I’m scared of blood so quickly abandoned such endeavors.
Lots of love and a kiss on your dick,
Tomato girl
8 months
Sukuna’s jaw hit the floor with a gasp when he saw your sign off and then he got way too hard with the visual that bulldozed all rational thought out of his brain.
“You good bro?” Gojo laughs from the other side of the cell, watching Sukuna’s face flush.
“No, not really,” Sukuna groans, staring up at the ceiling and adjusting himself as best he can. There’s no shame in here, no privacy, no secrecy, so he doesn’t really care.
“Get a sexy message?” Gojo teases. “If you did lemme see, gotta take what we can get in here.”
“She made a reference to sucking my dick,” Sukuna laughs, folding up your letter and tucking it under his pillow. “And no you can’t read it, for my eyes only.”
“Oh being possessive are we? Thought you said you two weren’t exclusive like that.”
“Doesn’t mean I don’t love and adore her. I just can’t have her to myself right now,” Sukuna scoffs, pulling his shirt off now that he’s all hot and bothered.
“Think she’s seeing other people?” Gojo asks.
Sukuna shifts in discomfort at the thought. The images of you kissing his cock combined with the possibility of you getting fucked by someone else results in a whirlwind of emotions that he’s not sure how to process.
“I really hope not, but who am I to say? I don’t really wanna know honestly. Just want her to be there when I get out. I’d be okay never knowing. What about you?”
“She better not be! Utahime better not bring my one year old daughter around other guys!” Gojo exclaims. “My daughter better never be around guys for that matter. Would you want your daughter hanging around pieces of shit like us?”
“Fuck no bro.”
Both guys laugh in response before Sukuna speaks again.
“Is she gonna bring the baby to see you?”
“I told her not to until she’s older. While I’m dying to hold her, I don't want her coming to a place like this so young. It’s not right. It kills me to miss out on her firsts and knowing I left Utahime to be a single mom makes me feel like a disgrace. All I can do is make it up to her when I get out,” Gojo sighs, eyes getting glossy with tears. “What if your girl had gotten pregnant?”
Sukuna pauses before speaking. A part of him would love it. So full of something he made with you except for no one would know it’s his. People would see you pregnant and not realize you belong to him considering he’s locked away. Plus his baby being fatherless for a majority of their underage life is sickening.
Then what? He randomly appears ten years later to a woman and child who don’t even know him? He’d be just another man to his child…a stranger. He swallows hard, trying to maintain his composure but he’s spiraling faster than he can keep up with.
Lord knows he wanted that with you. He fell so fucking hard and now here he was thinking about you as his wife and making the cutest babies. His throat feels heavy at the sad realization that he might never have that with you.
“It probably would’ve been best if she didn’t keep it,” Sukuna says softly, not wanting an ounce of that even though it would have been the most logical decision.
Fuck why did he feel like he was fighting a tsunami from breaking through his eyes? He turns away from Gojo to face the wall, the gravity of his situation starting to crush him all of a sudden. Not only did he have the luxury of continuing your relationship normally, but he might have missed out on you choosing to spend the rest of your life with him, a family together, growing old and watching your kids grow up. He’s never had thoughts like this before and of course the first time he does, it’s tearing him apart.
Shouldn’t something like that be happy? Sure he had stupid relationships when he was younger but normally it was his girlfriends spouting such nonsense while he was just in it for a good time, never thinking long term.
Not you though. A good time would surely have been a given, but he’d been excited to face the challenges of life together, learning and growing as one. Life’s normal challenges, not this fucked up series of events.
He feels a firm hand on his arm, lightly tugging him to roll over. His eyes are burning as he squints hard, trying to hold back everything threatening to spill over from his crimson gaze.
“Sukuna, look at me,” Gojo’s voice is soft but firm.
“Fuck off man.” Sukuna’s shaky voice tries to force out, but his whole body is shaking, heart pounding so hard he feels like it might burst.
“No, turn around. It’s okay. You think I’ve never been where you are? You’re panicking. I get it. Talk to me, you can only bottle up shit for so long in here.”
Sukuna finally surrenders, rolling back around to face his cellmate.
“I just, I-I really loved her. So damn much. And I tried to push her away, albeit gently, when I got locked up. I wanted her to be able to live a normal life, but I don’t fuckin’ want that man. I never did, I wanted us to be together, I still do. But I feel so helpless, I have no control over our future, I feel like one day she’ll stop writing back, and then I’ll know she found someone else. Fuck I feel like such a loser for even saying this shit,” Sukuna starts to cry, wiping the tears from his eyes in this moment of weakness.
Gojo just listens, not chiming in, soft blue eyes full of empathy for his cellmate…no, his friend. The only real friend in here. He understands, prison can break a man and do things to your mind that you’d never think possible on the outside. Even the toughest criminals with a bloodied past have someone they care about, someone who loves them. Being without them during life’s most challenging time is a terrifying and trying time.
“It’s okay man, how could you not feel this way? You’re a good guy, you don’t deserve to be in here. We all had dreams of how our life would go and how we wanted to be better, that’s why we are in a rehab facility and not maximum security. Watching what could have been slip through your fingers is horrifying. Have you thought about telling her how you really feel? If you really love her, you owe it to her to be honest. She still writes you all the time…”
You also try to schedule visitation but Sukuna declines them all. For what? He doesn’t even fucking know. He’d kill to feel you wrapped up in a massive hug, your body pressed against his, your scent in his nose as he buries his face in your neck.
He thought it was incredibly selfish to want you to wait for him, but maybe what he’s doing is even worse. Trying to control and manipulate your feelings like this suddenly seems wrong, no better than your ex. You have free will to do what you want, and if waiting for him was what you choose, who is he to fight you on that?
He feels like he’s going to pass out, breaking out into a cold sweat, breaths so shallow he can’t even tell if oxygen is getting to his lungs.
“Here, get on the floor, take your pants off so you’re just in your boxers,” Gojo says sternly, yanking Sukuna out of his bed onto his back.
The cold hard floor takes Sukuna by surprise, offering a distraction from his racing thoughts. He spreads his arms out, letting the chill touch every inch of his skin, staring up at the ceiling, eyes searching for something, anything.
He swears he sees a heart. A lopsided one at that, but it’s there, even if it looks like it’s about to break. Kind of like him, all this time he’s been trying to break your heart, but the best he’s done is bend it and likely just confuse you.
His however?
He’s broken it without even knowing.
He needs to talk to you. He can’t wait another two months to get a response. He’ll call you, hopefully you’ll pick up but he wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t. He’s been forcing you to live life on his terms, withholding multiple lines of communication this whole time.
The guilt is gnawing at his stomach, the acid boring a hole in his gut as he tries to keep himself from vomiting in disgust.
“I fucked up Gojo. I really did.”
“I don’t think you’re as bad off as you think. She still writes to you, apparently sent you something sexual, and asks you questions about your life. She wouldn’t be doing that if she didn’t care. She just would stop. But fucking call her you piece of shit. Acting like the phone is your mortal enemy like a little bitch, quit being a pussy and man up,” Gojo says, only half teasing.
As much as Sukuna wants to argue with Gojo, he knows he’s right. White haired fuck.
Fuck that guy.
Now he’s nervous like a teenager to call you. How pathetic to be 24 years old and terrified to talk to a girl you said loved…to her face.
9 months
My favorite tomato girl,
Great questions at the end. I played football, quarterback to be exact. Your cliche high school jock that thought he was way too cool. Also I think I’d have liked you in high school just fine, I wasn’t above being friends with anyone, maybe if I’d hung out with you I’d have had a better future cuz you know what’s not cool? Jail.
My favorite vacation? Probably African safari for my high school graduation. I got to choose anywhere for a trip and I chose that. Seems we have wanting to see animals in common, my favorites were the lions. Guess when I get out we will need to plan some animal themed vacations. Polar bears in Canada, manatees in Florida, whale sharks in Mexico, take your pick, I’ve got enough fucking cash to fund anything you want.
What did I want to be when I grow up? When I was really little I wanted to be a chef, then when I was older I wanted to do something with cars and also have my own business. As you know I love working on my own car so I wanted to mod people's cars for a living. And…well here I am.
When I stare up at my ceiling, I see a heart.
Also sometimes a truck. I’ll need to lay in other parts of my cell to see if there is anything else, that’s just above my bed.
I’m glad I’m not gonna be a dad yet. I’d prefer to do that together when I’m out…so you aren’t doing it alone. Give it some thought and maybe one day we can try for one…if you’d want it to be with me that is.
I don’t want to burden you with my feelings, but I’m not doing well. It’s like the realization that this is my life for the next ten years suddenly hit me the other day. You’re the only person I can talk to though outside of here, I hope you are willing to entertain these feelings of mine.
My cellmate Gojo is decent at listening, he’s been in here a little longer than me so he gets it, it’s nice to feel not so alone in that regard.
I’m sorry, I’m rambling, almost treating this like a diary I guess. I want to call you, but I’m really nervous for some reason. If you don’t want to talk to me I understand, you can just ignore the call, but I wanted to wait long enough for you to get this letter before I did. I didn’t want you to get it out of the blue.
I miss you tremendously, I really hope you’ll answer.
You read the letter as you are about to walk out the door to go out.
Out on a date.
You wanted to take Sukuna up on his request for you to try to see other people. The man had very little in the way of freedom to do what he wanted, so the least you could do was honor his wishes.
Your heart sinks and you feel a shiver run down your spine. The letter has you concerned for him, his mental state seems to have declined rapidly if he wanted to call you, something he swore he’d never do.
You leave the letter on your kitchen table, you’ll revisit it later. For now, your Uber is waiting outside your apartment and you don’t want to keep your date waiting.
Slipping into the backseat, you greet the driver and settle in, buckling the seatbelt and pulling your phone out. You begin to scroll social media but eventually stop, opting to stare out the window instead at the buildings whizzing by.
It’s been nine months since you last saw Sukuna, since you last heard his voice. One letter every other month was all the contact you had, but it’s how he wanted things to be. If you had it your way, you’d have talked more often, but his boundaries were more stringent than yours. He had his reasons you suppose.
This would be your first date since Cam. You and Sukuna never truly went on a date. Maybe you could call eating dinner at his house one, even though it had ended badly. Fucking all night hardly constituted a date either, but you’d gotten to know each other slowly up until that point. It felt more natural than meeting someone on an app and going in blind like you were right now.
A pang in your chest was starting to develop. This isn’t what you wanted, you didn’t want another man, but you wouldn’t know for sure unless you put yourself out there.
The car abruptly stops, signaling the end of your ride. Thanking the driver, you get out and turn towards the trendy looking bar where you were meeting.
Just go in there, the worst that can happen is you aren’t having a good time and you can just leave. You don’t even know the man, dating app meetups end this way all the time.
You swallow hard one last time and head inside, eyes darting around the room looking for the guy you were meeting. Finally your eyes lock onto the familiar face you recognize from his profile.
He stands up, smiling at you and waving you over. The first thing you notice is that he’s tall and muscular. The pictures kind of hinted at that, but in person it’s even more obvious.
“Nanami right?” you say nervously as you approach, holding out your hand to shake his. His handshake is firm but gentle, dress shirt cuffed up at his forearms which flex as he grips your hand.
“Yep, so glad you could meet today. I just got off work, how about you?” his voice is low but confident as he pulls your chair out for you.
Wow, what a gentleman.
“I was in the lab most of today. I’m doing the last touches on my research before I really dive into my thesis,” you respond, scooting your chair in as he takes his seat opposite of you.
“You said you should be graduating in a few months right?” Nanami says as he leans his elbows on the table, paying close attention to you.
“Yes! Then it’s off to find a job,” you laugh, trying to settle into the small talk. The pit in your stomach is still gnawing at your insides as you attempt to relax. Maybe a drink will help settle you out.
You order a simple gin and tonic while Nanami opts for a beer. Thankfully your drink is strong which should hopefully give you a quick buzz and calm your nerves.
“So you’re in finance?” you ask, trying to keep the conversation flowing.
“Yep, investment banking. Not the most exciting job in the world, and I don’t like it enough for all the hours I work,” he glances down at the table while speaking, fingers trembling lightly against his glass.
Maybe he’s a little nervous too. You give him an encouraging smile in response.
“I’m sorry if it seems like I’m nervous,” you begin, “I haven’t dated in almost a year since I broke up with my ex. Then some stuff happened in my personal life, so I’m kind of testing the waters so to speak.”
That’s a generous way to put it, you think to yourself. Do you even mention Sukuna? Your boyfriend of a grand twelve hours that technically never broke up with you but told you to see other people? Who you won’t see again for a decade?
Your throat feels heavy at the thought. Trying to push the feeling away, you take a big sip of your drink.
“That’s okay. I haven’t dated since college two years ago. My job has been so demanding, I’ve never felt like I could devote time to a relationship,” Nanami says, sympathy in his eyes. “We can just take this slow, no pressure.”
The relief you should feel from his words doesn’t come, if anything you just feel guilty. You don’t want to lead the man on and you also feel disingenuous about keeping Sukuna a secret. Which in itself also seems disrespectful to Sukuna.
What in the world have you gotten yourself into?
You try to remember what you told yourself earlier. Just see where it goes.
“Thank you Nanami, I’d like that. Let’s just have fun and see where this goes,” you answer with a smile and another big sip of your drink.
Your hypothesis was correct in that the more you drank, the easier the conversation flowed and soon you both were bantering and laughing about your shared grievances with college and the working world. Nanami was a smart, well educated man who could hold an intelligent conversation which was right up your alley.
After a few shared appetizers and two more drinks, the bar was starting to fill up with the late night crowd. Nanami was very adamant about getting a good night's sleep before work, as were you, so he paid the bill and led you outside.
“Wanna come hang out at my place? Still have a few more hours before I should go to bed,” he asks, resting his hand on the small of your back.
His heavy touch sent sparks through your body, warming your skin in the evening chill. You really enjoyed his company. Plus he was hot and respectful, a man of such tasteful flirting that wasn’t too over the top but made you feel comfortable and desired.
“Is this you asking me what I think you’re asking?” you give him a small grin, moving closer to him as his hand pressed you forward.
“Maybe. Like I said though, no pressure. I’ve just found your company to be enjoyable enough that I’m not really wanting the night to end just yet. I’ll be happy with whatever we decide to do after this,” he says with a kind smile.
Fuck, why was he so nice? It’s not like you were complaining, but it really gave you no good reason to say no. You hadn’t planned on hooking up with someone tonight, but fuck it, you were really starting to lean that way.
You missed feeling intimate and cared for by someone. The feeling of someone pleasuring you and feeling their skin on yours was a distant memory. Technically it had been years because lord knows Cam didn’t give you that feeling and Sukuna was essentially a one night stand given what transpired.
You stand up on your toes, pull Nanami down by his loosened tie, and plant a soft kiss on his lips. His strong arms move to wrap around your back, hands not venturing any lower than your hips as he pulls you closer, swiping his tongue across your bottom lip. You part your lips, letting his tongue entwine with yours in a calm and slow dance.
Fuck, you wanted to have sex with the man. He felt safe and respectful, which is what you needed right now. It wasn’t even about the emotional connection, you needed something physical.
Making out on the sidewalk leads to straddling him on his couch in a high rise apartment, his hot breath on your neck as you ground yourself against his lap.
Your eyes flicker open as the image of Sukuna pops into your head. The first time you’d ever kissed him was in a similar position on his couch, except you’d panicked and stopped, feeling like you were being unfaithful.
Why did it feel like you were about to be again? He’d given you permission to do this, and you weren’t even sure if he actually wanted you after trying to push you away and denying everything you countered with. You’d never felt like you had physical needs before, but after that night with Sukuna, you were desperate to feel something similar again. Someone worshipping your body and focusing on pleasing you.
“Wait,” you force out, briefly pulling away from Nanami.
“Is everything alright?” he stops immediately, hands hovering behind your back.
“Yes, but I just want to be honest with my intentions,” you say with a shaky voice.
“Here, sit next to me,” Nanami guides you towards the spot next to him on the couch, eyes softly looking into yours as he waits for you to continue.
“I, um, it’s complicated. Fuck, I’m sorry,” you shake your head trying to compose yourself.
“Hey, we can stop if you want…” Nanami says, studying you carefully.
“I-I don’t know. It’s just, almost a year ago I met a guy. I loved him, I saw a future with him. But something bad happened and he’s, well, he’s in jail now. For ten years. We made it official and then twelve hours later, bam! Arrested. He didn’t want me to wait for him, so I’m trying to honor his wishes…” you start to spill everything while Nanami just listens, not interrupting. Your face heats up in embarrassment as you spew all of this at a stranger.
“I just feel guilty for enjoying this with you. And I wouldn’t want this to have any emotional meaning, just sex. Because I love him, and I don’t think I’ll ever love you, or anyone else right now. But I feel like I should at least try. And you seem so kind and respectful, but I don’t want you to feel used or taken advantage of,” you say, looking back at him. You have no idea what kind of response you are going to get, putting yourself in his shoes you can’t imagine what you’d say. Holy baggage.
“Wow, that’s a lot. Are you okay? Not just physically, but in general?” Nanami asks, the sympathy in his eyes is apparent.
“I’m as okay as I can be,” you respond. “It’s been almost a year so I’ve kinda accepted it.”
“I see. Well I’m sorry that happened to you, that must be so incredibly hard. I can’t imagine being in that situation and I bet there’s only a very small population of people who could truly understand what you are going through. If it’s just sex you want, I can respect that, and I won’t judge you. Truthfully, I’m not looking for anything serious either right now. I can assure you I won’t try to take you from him or sway your feelings if all you are looking for is some physical relief. But maybe you should take a bit to see if this is what you really want. I’m not sure what it’s like communicating with someone inside prison, but maybe talk to him, and if he’s okay with it, we can try again,” Nanami says, clasping your hands between his and pulling them to his lips.
Tears begin to prick at your eyes as you absorb his words. This guy was so caring and you’d only known him for a few hours.
“I’m so sorry, this can’t be what you had in mind for tonight,” you chuckle as you wipe your eyes repeatedly.
“I still had a good time regardless and worst case, I met a nice person who I could see being friends with. Life happens,” Nanami smiles, rubbing your back before going to fetch your coat from the closet.
Sukuna said he would call you in the letter you left at home. You’ll ask him one more time what he wants, and if he gives you some bullshit answer, then you’ll go back to Nanami.
An hour later you are home, more confused than ever. Thank god Nanami was a good man, you both knew you would regret going further and decided to pause everything. You take Sukuna’s letter to your room and read it again. This time you realized your fists were clenched around the paper, wrinkling it from the way your fingertips twisted the delicate material.
You were pissed. You’d been nothing but honest with Sukuna that last day, seeing him in person about wanting to stay loyal to him, but he couldn’t grant you the same. Instead he seemed to be dancing around the topic which resulted in this train wreck of a night. If he were here right now you’d slap the tattoos right off his jawline and demand him tell you how he really felt.
It’s the least he could do, he wasn’t the only one with a mental state on the decline.
10 months
“This is a collect call from an inmate at the Southeastern Regional Jail, press 7 to accept.”
At 9AM you received a call from an unknown number and you were shocked to hear this.
You sat there staring at first, unsure if you wanted to answer. All your pent up anger from the other night suddenly evaporated and fear was the only thing left.
The prompt played 2 more times before you finally smashed the 7 button.
“Hello?”
“Oh thank god you picked up,” Sukuna’s voice answers on the other line. Your breath hitches as his deep tone reverberates through your ear. You exhale loudly, not realizing you were holding your breath. Briefly you mute the phone as you try to control your breathing, trying to take deep breaths and calm yourself.
“Are you there? Hello?” Sukuna says your name almost frantically while you are trying to regain your composure.
“I’m here, sorry, I just can’t believe it’s really you. I haven’t heard your voice in so long,” your voice cracks as you hold back a sob. This is all you’ve wanted this entire time, not realizing finally hearing him would affect you this way.
“It’s okay. For what it’s worth, I’m sorry too. That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about,” he continues, sighing audibly.
“Well I have an earful to give you as well Sukuna, but why don’t you go first.”
“What? Why am I getting an earful?!” his whiny voice responds with a tinge of fear.
You just sit silently for now, taking everything in you to not just explode at him.
“I know I deserve it, I just didn’t know you felt so strongly and it makes me feel worse,” he continues.
“Enough of the cryptic shit Sukuna, I have no idea what you are talking about,” you start crying.
“Okay okay, I’m here. Please just say what you need to say,” Sukuna’s voice deepens as if he’s trying to contain his emotions now.
“Do you want to be with me Sukuna? Like, actually want to be committed to each other? Only each other? And don’t give me any of this bullshit like ‘yes I do, but blah blah’. It’s yes or no. Enough beating around the bush,” you say sternly.
“Fuck you’re scaring me, where is this coming from?” he pauses before speaking.
“I went out with another guy the other night and started to have sex with him, Sukuna. That’s what this is about, this is what it’s come to.”
“Shit…ahhh shit! Fuck!” Sukuna curses before going totally silent. Everything in you wants to apologize but you hold your ground. You refuse to apologize for this.
“Wh-wh-what do you mean started to? What does that mean? Oh god I don’t know what to say…” his voice stutters and cracks, registering the pain in his words.
“I told you point blank at the prison that I wanted to be loyal to you, but you shut me down and left it ambiguous. You told me you didn’t want me to wait for you, you told me you wanted me to try and move on, to see other people. So I tried Sukuna. I tried the other day. But we stopped because I still love you. How can I fuck someone else when you’re all I want?” you start crying, forcing out the words as best you can. “Y-you seem like you don’t want that with me though. You don’t want to talk to me, don’t want to see me, made it seem like you didn’t care if I strayed from you. So I’ll ask you again, do you actually want to be with me?” you say through a combination of sobs and hiccups.
“Oh my god, yes! That’s why I called you!” his pitch is higher as his voice cracks again. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. Fuck! The truth is I don’t want you to be with anyone else! I’m sorry I wasn’t honest. I want to be together, I want to be loyal to each other. God willing you do too, but I don’t blame you if you don’t want that.
“Listen, I - ah - fucked up. Real bad. I don’t know why I wasn’t honest back then, it was shitty of me. I don’t hold it against you for going out with someone and going however far you did, I don’t wanna know specifics so please don’t tell me. It is what it is. I never meant to put you in this position, I thought I was doing the right thing, but I realized I wasn’t and I love you more than anything. It was manipulative, I didn’t give you a direct answer and because of that, you had no agency in this, and that’s not okay.” he says through sniffles as his voice gets harsh with emotion.
“Then why did you say those things?” you say through choked back tears.
He sighs again and you can hear him crying in the background before trying to speak again.
“I just felt so guilty. Felt like a shitty man to put you in this situation after promising you the fucking world. I didn’t want you to feel trapped, but I didn’t even listen to how you felt. It was selfish. I understand if you hate me-“
“You’re right I do fucking hate you,” you interupt him. “If I could pull you down by your stupid pink hair and slap your stupid jaw tattoos around and knock some sense into you I would.
“I hate that you made me fall in love with you, that you’re the first thing I think of when I wake up and the last thing I see when I go to sleep. I hate when I wake up and you weren’t in my dreams, the one place where you and I can actually feel real right now because you refuse to fucking interact with me. I hate that I need to wait for you. I waited my whole life to find you and now I need to wait even longer,” you ramble on, crying into your pillow and twisting your nails into your sheets.
“I hate that I can’t hear your laugh, can’t see your stupid goofy smile, can’t feel your soft touch. Fuck Sukuna I hate all of this. But I hate the thought of anyone else even more, so your godforsaken ass is worth the wait. I’ve already done it once,” you say with a humorless laugh, mouth dry and scratchy, eyes burning as you pour everything out into the open, holding your breath as you wait for his response.
He’s silent and unresponsive. Fearing the call dropped, you were about to lose it if he didn’t hear anything you said.
“Hello?”
“I’m here sweetheart. You really mean all that?”
“What the fuck, of course I did. Boy I swear I would beat your ass if you were here, dense ass motherfucking-”
“I’m sure you didn’t mean that to be romantic at all, but I’m at a loss for words,” he interrupts with a chuckle. What you don’t know is now he’s leaning against the concrete prison wall, biting his tongue and looking all giddy as he tries to replay everything you just said over and over in his mind.
“You think this is funny?” you lash out again. Holy shit this man is testing your patience.
“Kinda yeah. I’m just such a fucking idiot, I’m laughing at my asinine behaviour. I’m so relieved though to hear you say those things. You really love me huh?” he says and you are sure he’s fighting back the biggest grin.
“You’re smiling right now aren’t you?” you say more calmly than before.
“Yup, got a big ole smirk on my face. And crying. You make me happy. It’s happy tears.”
“You make me happy too. And insane. But also insanely happy, even from a concrete cell,” you feel a laugh escape your lips.
“Fuck, wish I could scoop you up and fucking break your little bones from hugging you so hard,” his voice is more husky and even now.
“Um ouch? A little violent don’t you think?”
“I don’t mean it literally. Just that I wish I could be close to you. It’ll be worth it though. One day.”
“Yes it will. Can you actually call me from now on? Also what’s this about wanting to try for a baby when you get out? When did I ever say I wanted one?” you blurt out, remembering that insane part of his last letter.
“Yes I will call. I can’t call often, maybe once a week at most. It’s pricey and I wanna have money left for me when I get out…well for us.
“And yeah, about that. See my cellmate got his girl pregnant right before he got put in here and he got me all paranoid since I busted in you about six times that night. But then I was like well if we are mid to late thirties when I get out, better get to it since time isn’t on our side”
You burst out laughing but feel your heart swell at his words picturing little pink haired terrors running around his house.
“Well you need to get your degrees and trades or whatever in order. I’m not footing the bill for all of us because for some reason I don’t see you being able to keep your hands off of me to stop at just one,” you tease.
“Oh please, don’t act all high and mighty. I saw you that night, begging to take every last drop-“
“Oh my god can people hear you?!” you squeal, interrupting him.
“Um, darling it’s a bunch of dudes locked up in here with no females to be found. You just get used to being shameless after a while. Like when we are done here I’m gonna go tell Gojo to look the other way while I jerk off.”
You practically choke on your own saliva. What the actual fuck?
“Uh, wow, okay. That’s pretty wild Sukuna not gonna lie.”
“I do the same for him after he’s talked to his girl. He owes me, horny little fuck,” Sukuna scoffs.
“Oh, the call is gonna end in a few minutes. I’ll try to call you every other week on Saturdays around this same time. Sound good?” Sukuna changes the topic as the warning sound chimes over the phone.
“That sounds good. Keep writing too. I like it, it’s special and I look forward to it,” you respond, feeling the weight that was heavy on your heart start to feel a little lighter.
“Of course I will. Anything for you. I love you. So so soooooo muuuuuch,” he says in that whiny voice of his that just makes you smile and shake your head. He’s your whiny Kuna though and you love it.
“I love you too Kuna, talk to you later.”
The call ends and the tears come again. Except this time they’re tears of joy. Relief. Filled with hope for what’s to come. Almost a year down with so much more to go, but at least now you know where you stand. Plus now you have calls to look forward to as you inch your way closer to being reunited.
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