#The O'Connell family

[found-family-tournament]

Found Family Tournament Round 1 Part 10 Group 48

Propaganda and further pictures under the cut

St Cassians Chamber Choir: Ocean O'Connell Rosenberg, Noel Gruber, Mischa Bachinski, Ricky Potts, Jane Doe / Penny Lamb, Constance Blackwood

The Crows: Kaz Brekker, Inej Ghafa, Jesper Fahey, Nina Zenik, Wylan van Eck, Matthias Helvar

Mods note: Yeah, I went with an image from the show here. Yeah, I know Matthias isn't on it. Someone please get me official art of them or fanart that I'm allowed to use.

Submissions are still open!

St Cassians Chamber Choir:

There's sooo many silly versions of them, & they all died together !! It's like enemies 2 lovers platonic version pretty much

The Crows:

they are the definition of be gay do crime and they all share a single brain cell

They're cute & funny

they take care of each other, and even though they might not always be able to show it, they care.

[everythingwasnormalhere]

tbh i see the south park kids as having the weirdest (friend group) family tree just because sm of my friend groups have one and its fun ok

it all started with clyde jokingly going "my dads! 🥺" at craig and tweek

they were "o-o tf" but soon jimmy went like

"if they're the dads i wanna be the cool uncle"

token obviously tagged along

"if you're the cool uncle what would i be?"

"obviously the rich aunt"

they made a lot of family lore that day

part of it being that jimmy and timmy were the uncle and his friend who aren't together but have a weirdly vaguely homoerotic relationship (def not inspired by jimbo and ned)

since this clyde calls craig and tweek "dad" randomly

(mainly craig because he knows it annoys him so bad)

anyway cryde were hanging out at craig's one day and clyde did that

and tricia heard so she understandably asked tf was that about-

so clyde told her the whole family tree lore XD

tricia like ":o I WANNA BE LA TÍA CHISMOSA"

craig translates and clyde's all "omg slayy"

after this tricia eventually hangs out with TaTI and tells them about this whole thing

karen's excited XD she's the lesbian aunt :3

eventually tricia and karen adopt ike and firkle

they agree they're twins, and firkle proclaims himself as "the family's dissapointment" 😭

firkle convinces the other goths to join too

they're those guys who nobody's sure where in the family they are but they show up to every family gathering so everyone assumes they are somewhere

on the other side craig told kenny about the whole thing (because they talk about everything)

kenny decided he'd be craig's sibling + that one uncle who's in jail more often than not

then kenny to keep the family tree going pulls a clyde and straight-up asks kyle and stan

"hey guys wanna adopt me?"

they're so weirded out,, more taking into account they aren't even dating,,,

but kenny manages to convince them

cartman is decided by stan kenny and butters to be kyle's sibling

cartman and kyle are So against that

butters and kenny adopt dougie btw :3

at some point the girls find out about the tree too

the guys suspect it was clyde but tbh? who knows

there's lots of lore on their side too

stan was wendy's first marriage and they had red

but it was a shitty loveless marriage so wendy divorced him and married bebe

(just because they're the co-leaders of the cheer team ok)

in that marriage they had heidi and nichole :)

at some point it's clear everyone's somehow part of that dumb craig's gang supposedly internal joke 😭

since nobody agreed on anything though, it's a fucking mess,,,

clyde is the one in charge of drawing it to make things clear for everyone (because he's who started that madness)

so you just see all the kids in class all around clyde who's writing on a sheet of paper in the verge of a breakdown 😭

[pydiasterek]

My Mikaelson Family

Freya Mikaelson: the older, protective sister who tries to keep the family together

Finn Mikaelson: the distant and reclusive brother

Elijah Mikaelson: the noble one and "fathers" of his brothers

Niklaus/Klaus Mikaelson: the hybrid, the brother who does everything for the people he loves

Kol Mikaelson: the rebellious brother, the favorite uncle his life consists of traveling the world with his precious wife

Rebekah Gerard-Mikaelson: the bitch, the female version of Klaus, the little girl of her siblings

Henrik Mikaelson: the youngest Mikaelson, the sibling’s baby

Hope Andréa Mikaelson: the tribid, the light of the family

Nik Vincent Malraux-Mikaelson: the family baby, the little one and the smart kid

Keelin Malraux-Mikaelson: the pacifist, the “the mother” of the family

Sage Benedici-Mikaelson: the older sister-in-law, boxer, the only one who can make Finn want to live

Hayley Marshall-Mikaelson: the queen of the wolves, the boss, the one that puts limits on everyone.

Camille O’Connell-Mikaelson: the family's psychologist, the counselor, it's really sweet, but her gentle smile hides a brave woman.

Davina Claire-Mikaelson: the terror of the witches of new orleans, She loves some family members, the others she can only take because they are her husband's brothers (cof cof Finn e Klaus cof cof).

Marcellus/Marcel MIkaelson-Gerard: The leader of the vampires, the strategist, the one who manages to infiltrate with the enemies to take them down

(sorry for my bad english, it’s not my first language)

[myimaginarymary]

One thing I will always say is that The Originals is better than The Vampire Diaries. Not saying that TVD is not good, I just prefer Originals. Almost every teen vampire story revolves around a basic love story (usually a love triangle). Although The Originals is also a love story, instead of being a romantic one, it is familial love. It is the love of a Father (Klaus) who loves his daughter (Hope) so much that he would sacrifice everything for her. And that love for his daughter spreads to his siblings that previously had a rough relationship with. It’s beautiful. Sure there’s romance involved (Cami/Klaus, Elijah/Hayley, Caroline/Klaus, Marcel/Rebekah, Keelin/Freya, Davina/Kol) but deep down, it’s about family.

(All Credit Goes To Where Credit Is Due)

[bodhrancomedy]

So I had a suggestion that Victor Addams and my unnamed Indiana Jones TA are twins because, well, basically same look.

But I had a better idea. They’re not *twins* they’re triplets.

Two of them went into archeology and one of them ran off to join the Addams.

This series has gone too far. There’s now lore.

[yourdeepestfathoms]

Okay, okay can we have headcannons of Mischa being protective of everyone in the choir (including penny) I’ve just seen this headcannon and went ‘yep he definitely is the protective his friends type’? Thank you! :)

absolutely!!

the m in Mischa stands for “mom friend”

Takes absolutely NO SHIT when it comes to the health and emotions of the choir

The MOMENT someone messes with anyone in the group in ANY WAY, they have put a target on their back

Even if Mischa doesn’t get his revenge instantly, it will come eventually

He doesn’t just let shit done to his friends slide

And even after he’s finished making the douche pay, he’ll still hold a grudge forever

As a result, he’s a bit of a local legend in the principal’s office

And when the threat of him getting expelled for constant physical violence comes about, he becomes more creative with his revenge plots

One time, these assholes took Ricky’s crutches and actually thought they got away with it. And then the sound of footsteps slowly started to get louder and louder. They turned around and saw 6’2 of pure Ukrainian muscle sprinting straight at them with a look of burning hatred in his eyes. Needless to say, those kids needed crutches of their own after he was done with them.

Some dude called Noel the f-slur, and Mischa went BALLISTIC. Noel told Mischa that he didn’t care (he did) and that it was fine (it wasn’t), and Mischa reluctantly calmed down. And then Mischa found the kid’s car and slashed all of their tires. He was never charged for it because nobody could prove that he did it.

Penny was catcalled, so Mischa peed on the dude’s car. Also he replaced their windshield wiper fluid with milk.

Someone called Constance some pretty nasty names, so Mischa broke their nose and knocked out three teeth.

This creep slapped Ocean on the rear while she was trying to walk up some steps at the school, so Mischa shoved him down the staircase. And then stomped on his ribs. Several times. While screaming at him at the top of his lungs.

Other methods of revenge he’s used includes:

Covering someone’s lawn in instant mashed potatoes before it rains

Draining someone’s entire pool right before a pool party

Peeing in a water bottle and then purposely running into the target with the cap unscrewed, effectively covering them in piss (him, too, but it was worth it) (an RA at my college did this before)

Throwing backpacks into a creek

Spreading someone’s number publicly with various reasons to get people to call

Finding the most embarrassing thing possible about a person and then sending it to their parents

Glitter. All inside of a car.

You know glitter bombing a car by putting glitter in the vents so when the AC is turned on, that glitter goes EVERYWHERE? That with cayenne pepper

(He likes targeting vehicles. He’s learned that fucking up people’s cars is just as rewarding as physically harming them for messing with his friends. What’s better than the financial drain of having to repair a car?)

Okay, okay, that’s enough revenge. Here’s some other things he does as the Group Protector!

Will put himself between the choir and any kind of threat

In similar vein, he’ll push someone in choir behind him if he feels that something is wrong

If there is a genuine threat of some kind, he covers Ricky first, then Ocean. Ricky because Ricky may have a harder time defending himself on his own, then Ocean because, well, Ocean is built like an AirPod. Immediately after those two are Constance and Penny because they’re girls, and Mischa is a gentleman. Noel is like “rude” (but he understands)

Will offer his coat to one of the others if they look cold

“Oh my god, I know you did not leave the house without a jacket. It’s freezing out here, you idiot! Get over here, let me fix you. Fucking dumbass…”

He knows what it means when one of the girls asks him to “check them” because my boy is ABSOLUTELY well-versed in that stuff, and he’s prepared to help them if necessary (if they’re comfortable with him helping, of course)! He’s ready to offer his jacket for them to put around their waist if they need it!

He WILL text everyone to make sure they all got home safely, and he WILL get nervous if someone doesn’t reply in a normal timeframe

In the case that any of them need somewhere to hide for whatever reason or just need somewhere to go, he offered his basement as “home base.” Any of them can come by anytime they want, and if he isn’t there, he told them where a spare key is so they can let themselves in. They don’t have to ask, they can just go in, but he does appreciate a text letting him know they’ll be there (so he can bring home food for them both)

(He once came home to find Ocean cleaning his WHOLE BASEMENT because she got bored waiting for him)

(Another time, he came home at the exact moment Penny was walking out of his bathroom after showering. They both just stared at each other for a moment then went “sup” “sup”)

Mischa: Hello people who do not live here.

Ocean: Hi!

Noel: Hello!

Ricky, signing: Hey!

Constance: Hiya!

Mischa: I gave you a key for emergencies.

Penny: We were out of Doritos!

The whole choir once planned this surprise party for Mischa at his house to thank him for looking after them and being so nice to them and overall being a great friend

Mischa cried

He was once given THIS as a Christmas gift

[hyperactivewhore]

People will see how Hayley was willing to let Klaus die, probably even wanted it, so Elijah could return to life and to her in season four, how Klaus begged for Cami's life the moment Aurora threatened her yet did nothing while Lucien had his heart in Hayley's heart because his pride was bigger, liteally died for Camille in season two (the only other person he did this for was Hope btw) and they'll still think Klaus and Hayley could have ever been in a romantic relationship.

[bird-likes-to-fandom]

rtc theme park idea

ofc there's the cyclone

karnak greets all the visitors and reads their fortunes as part of the admission process

the six all have rides themed to their songs + their favorite rides permanently fixed there

jane's coaster is called the Decapitator and the gift shop sells little headless dolls. The Decapitator is TERRIFYING and hurts people's necks.

Constance has a coaster called the Sugar Cloud (with a snack shack nearby called the Sugar Cloud Cafe) and has lots of loops and is generally really fun and a family favorite.

Noel's got a tavern called the Boozy Floozy Flashing Light Tavern (it's shortened by locals and regulars) and the tallest coaster in the with intricate painted circus/fair details on the cart called the Neverending Carnival. When you ride it you can see the whole park. People say getting off the Neverending Carnival makes them feel drunk.

Ricky's got a Zolar themed story-packed coaster like silver dollar city's Fire in the Hole and the gift shop sells comics about Zolar.

Mischa has one coaster that's a thrill ride that plays rap music while you wait in line, and another that plays Ukrainian folk music that is more of a scenic ride. (the guide on the coaster tells a story of two lovers tragically torn apart as they ride)

Ocean's coaster is a kiddie coaster called the Headline Maker. There's a theater in kiddieland that puts on the improv scenarios and teaches kids moral lessons.

[dyne-osaur]

rtc doodle -> drawing :))

they are on the mind 24/7

[vertigoartgore]

The Northern exposure regular cast (plus Eve) being photographed during the filming of the episode "Lost and Found" (3.17, 1992).

[fantasylover4evr]

Looking for a post about the Addams Family meeting the O'Connell Family (the Mummy franchise) Gomez and Rick sword fighting while praising their wives, Morticia and Evelyn drinking tea and discussing their adventures.

[twistthescript]

June Doe 2024 Masterlist [Days 1-15]:

Here's another list that will get updated throughout the month of June Doe. With these, the title, rating, pairing (if any), basic tags, and summary will be included. If a fic contains any content warnings, those will be included too. [SOME OF THESE WILL BE CROSS POSTED ONTO OTHER MASTERLISTS]

Adoration For a Doll: Rated G; SUGARDOLLS; Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Non-Sexual Intimacy; It was terrifying when Jane first asked Constance to brush her dolly’s hair… but then why was it so soothing to do?

What's Better than Being a Doll? Creating One!: Rated T; CONTENT WARNINGS: Hospitals, Major Character Death; The expansive life of one Penny Jane Lamb and The Amazing Karnak’s Wooden Emporium… through the eyes of an old woman, a nurse, and a scrapbook.

The Ocean Trap: Rated G; Fluff and Humor; “Wait. Who’s the victim?” He asked. Penny’s grin was downright evil. “Ocean.” Based on the mattress prank from ‘The Parent Trap.’

Everyone's a Bad Influence… Ocean Would Beg to Differ: Rated T; “I have an idea!” Constance settled next to Ocean excitedly. “What if we pair up and find a new outfit for each other? Like… what if they were things we normally wouldn’t wear, but the other person would? A switch-a-roo!”

The No Good, ALMOST Horrible Birthday (That Nothing Could Ruin): Rated T; CONTENT WARNINGS: Physical Assault, Injuries, Hospitals; Nothing could ruin Ricky’s birthday, but the world certainly likes to test him anyway.

Reputation, Reputation…: Rated T; DRABBLE; Cussing, Mentions of Blood; In which a little Lamb has some thoughts about her FAVORITE musician.

Pop Goes the Jane Doe: Rated G; CRACKFIC; What if Jane had a soft plastic doll head instead of a porcelain one?

Ma'am, This is a Taco Bell…: Rated T; CONTENT WARNINGS: Bullying and Homophobia; Five times Noel Gruber is faced with rude customers at Taco Bell, and the one time he didn’t.

Time Eats All HIS Children in the End: Rated T; DRABBLE; Time was not Father Marcus’ friend. It wasn’t his choir’s either.

Cats? What's the Point?: Rated G; DRABBLE; The choir goes over to Ricky’s for movie night. He chooses Cats: The Musical. Ocean is not a fan.

Elevator Tunes: Catchy, Right?: Rated T; Fluff and Humor; The choir surprises Noel at work, only to get stuck in the elevator on the way out. Chaos ensues.

Prophecies Don't Make Sense… Until They Actually Do: Rated T; Mystery; Karnak could only bring one back, so why were they all here? Everyone was accounted for, right? RIGHT?

Birthday: Rated G; Tooth-Rotting Fluff; “Hey, Jane? What do you want to name it?” Ricky murmured, looking over. “I can name it?” Jane asked. “Sure.” He nodded, smiling at her. “It likes you.”

The Very Opposite of Fun: Rated T; An onlooker with family-friendly mode helps no one. Karnak is stuck watching the accident happen.

[countrymusiclover]

48 - Not The Only Broken One

Part 49

Family is More than Blood

@secretdreamlandmentality

Raelyn’s Pov 

Entering the apartment building that Cami lived in I found her apartment opening the door until I smacked into a barrier spell. “The hell?” Placing a hand on my forehead. 

“Sony Rae, I got a new landlord when my last one left the city.” Cami came around the corner. 

I raised a brow. “Who's your landlord now?” 

“Me. Hi Raelyn.” Davina came to stand beside her. “Come in.” 

I nodded, stepping over the threshold of her apartment doorway. Moving into the living room with the two other woman I came into contact with Freya who I wasn't expecting to see. “What are you doing here?” 

“Cami isn't a witch. So she felt we needed to come and offer our assistance.” She answered me. 

Crossing my arms over my chest. “Assistance of convincing me to not give up my magic right?” 

“Raelyn..” Cami trailed off. 

Holding a hand up I didn't want to hear anymore of this nonsense. “No, I'm done hearing about this. My magic has brought me nothing but heartache these past few weeks and I can't take it anymore.” 

“Will you just hear us out first. Without you and your heretic power I would be dead.” Cami responded. 

Freya sat her drink glass down on the table beside the couch. “Hayley told me what you did for her to become a hybrid. And what you did for her entire pack.” 

“When we met you showed me you didn't have to be a monster just because you had so much power at your fingertips.” Davina gave me a smile. “Why would you want to destroy a part of yourself that has created so much good?”

 

“Yes, Raelyn. I'd like to know your response too.” The four of us all turned our heads around seeing my husband standing outside the doorway. 

I sent him a glare. “What are you doing here, Klaus!” 

“Following your trail since you haven't been yourself lately. Now where in the bloody hell is the hunting knife containing your magic?” He spat back to me. 

Freya rose from her chair creating it out of thin air. “Cami gave it to me for safe keeping for your information brother.” 

“See, it's fine. Now you can go back and watch our youngest kids.” I snapped at the hybrid male. 

Klaus huffed. “Rae, I won't entertain this tone from you for much longer. You need to realize that my intentions are only trying to help you.” 

“I don’t recall asking for you to come here. In fact you are supposed to be at the school since the first headmistress isn’t there. They need a headmaster there if something goes wrong. So head back to Mystic Falls please.” I sent him a glare not wanting him to be here. His paranoid mind never bothered me until this moment. He normally had good reasons to be paranoid sometimes except right now. 

The hybrid steps forward smacking into the barrier, hands gripping the doorway. “Camille invite me inside right now!” 

“I don’t have to follow your commands, Klaus. Raelyn is my sire.” Cami snapped at the Mikaelson hybrid. 

Freya raised her hand waving it in the air. “Okay, I think we should take this conversation somewhere else. Before we all end up fighting and things get violent like most Mikaelson conversations tend to happen.” 

“Raelyn, just talk to me for a minute.” Klaus shifts his blue orbs onto my gaze in a begging tone. 

I briefly paused before answering him. “Fine, let’s go.” He stepped away from the doorway and I moved forward stepping over the threshold vamping down the hallway. Klaus vamped after me leaving the others not to be able to hear our conversation. 

Klaus and I were strolling the streets of Chicago since he had decided that this would be the first place he would take me to. He was holding my hand in his and he could hear my heart calmy beating in my chest since this was before I had turned into a vampire. “So tell me again why you decided Chicago first over New Orleans?” 

“New Orleans is my favorite city, you are right on that. But I once found this city more beautiful before I ever discovered it.” He responded to me, squeezing my hand in his. 

I made a face at the hybrid. “Okay so what do you want to show me?” 

“There’s some great things about this city. But I want to spoil you. That is my goal for this trip.” He sent me that signature smile of his so brightly. 

Shaking my head the hybrid i still wasn’t used to his romantic gestures towards me. It wasn’t as if I had the option of calling up my mother or father for dating advice since then that would only stir up trouble, finding me. Especially Uncle Joshua. Klaus walked closely beside me while I was window shopping the stores we walked past. “You’ve been staring at that dress for the last five minutes. So we’re getting it.” 

“Klaus, no. Just because I look at it for long doesn’t mean I’ll like it.” Whipping my head around I stopped him before he started to go inside the store. The dress that we had been referring to was a dark green with short sleeves and a slit on the right side. The length only reached to the manachens knees. 

Klaus didn’t bother and held open the door for me so I went inside to the dress with a woman who worked there coming over. “Can I help you, ma’am?” 

“Yes. Uh do you have this dress in a six?” I asked her softly. 

She replied. “Yes we do.”

“We’ll take it.” Klaus fired out an answer before I could get a response from my own mouth. The woman walked away when he gave her his card leaving us alone briefly. Crossing my arms over my chest I sent him a half glare. “Don’t give me that look, Rae. I already have ordered some lunch from that chicken place you like too.” 

I sniped back at my boyfriend. “You went through my food delivery receipts. What’s next buying me 50 pairs or new shoes?” 

“If that’s what you wish then yes.” He shrugged his shoulders not fazed by how creepy that might come off as to outsiders. 

Placing my hands over my face I throw my head back failing to hold in my laughter. “Nik, how am I ever going to handle being with you?” 

“You’ll learn to love me in time, siphon queen.” He snags me forward, grabbing the belt loops of my jeans and tugging me against his chest, smiling. 

Draping my arms over his shoulders I booped my nose with his leaning up on my toes. “If you’ll lucky you just might get me forever.” 

“I’d do anything to have always and forever with you, Raelyn.” He brought my lips up to meet his in a gentle and slow kiss until the woman with my dress came back and we headed to pick up his lunch order. 

Standing out on the balcony of the old Mikaelson compound that allowed anyone to look out over the city of New Orleans. My hands rested on the metal railing knowing Elijah would leave us alone since he was the only member who still lived here full time. “You know the point of you agreeing to talk to me implies that you would say something.” 

“Yes I agreed to speak with you. But that didn’t mean I would begin the conversation since you will just cut me off and tell me the same thing you’ve repeatedly told me about how I should take my magic back.” I throw my head back feeling his eyes burning in the back of my head. 

He was leaning in the doorway arms beginning his back simply just watching me in the bright glow of the sunlight and how the wind threw my hair around yet even when it was a knotted ess cause of it he would see nothing but beauty from me. “I am only speaking the truth, love. You shouldn’t have to hide the other part of yourself like I was forced to by my mother a thousand years ago.”

“You still don’t understand it. I choose to give up my magic whereas your mother forced the Hybrid Curse upon you.” Stomping up to my husband I got up in his face. “My brother hates me now because I refuse to use dark magic to let him and Hayley have more babies.”

Klaus natches the knife hanging off the belt loop of my jeans. “Jacob, can’t truly hate you. I don’t think that mate has a hateful bone in his body. Now please I am begging you take it back. Not to please me, not for Jacob or Hayley, but for yourself because I know you.”

“Nik, I am not ready. The Hollow got inside my mind and made me see a version of myself that I didn’t even know existed inside of my brain.” 

“Fructose Ispiritus. Say it Raelyn!” He raised his tone at me. 

The veins and fangs began appearing where I shoved him against the wall with vamp speed baring my teeth. “I said no, Niklaus! And you want to know why look into my mind and see.” 

“Raelyn..” He trails off. 

I shout back at him. “Do it!” 

Once the brightness disappeared I opened my eyes all the way to see a mirror image of myself. The figure of me had my hair loose but the ends were dead in black. The rest of my clothing was almost all black too. “The Hollow isn't fully gone. Her power and soul is now inside you.” 

“You’re me…what do you want?” I blinked my eyes a couple of times feeling my mind was betraying me. 

The dark version of me smirked. “I want you to stop hiding behind this weaker version of yourself. You’ve proven that you are stronger than anyone thought you’d be. Stop hiding who you truly are."

“That’s what this is truly about. You want me to be a bad person after I’ve told my kids to not appear as monsters.” I bite my tongue at the thought.

Dark Raelyn flipped her hair at me. “Just consider how much more Klaus would love you if you let him see the darker parts of you.” 

My husband gasped, holding my face in his hands just scanning over my features. For once in his life Klaus Mikaelson was at a loss for words. He knew he was broken by some degree, yet it baffled the thousand year immortal to see a much darker side of the women he loved. Raelyn has darkness; he knew that when she flipped her humanity switch. Except this other vision of her was the witch side of her that he hadn’t come into contact with. “Rae…I…I’m sorry I didn’t know.”

“She’s why I refuse to take my siphon magic back.” I croaked through heavy tears that cascaded down my face, nails clutching onto his forearms for dear life. “I…I thought I wasn’t broken anymore. Nik, what….what do I do!”

Klaus tilted his head, wiping away the tears that he could. He buried my head into his chest and wrapped his arms around my shaking form.  “Rae Rae, you have nothing to fear as long as I am here. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again that you are not broken  Alina - this better be life or death because your mother needs my support at this moment.”

“Sorry, dad. The problem is that Landon somehow got sent and trapped in a prison world.” Our second oldest werewitch daughter explained through his cell phone once answering her. 

Lifting my head up slightly from his black henley shirt my husband growled. “Bloody hell.”

“Alina, what else is going on?” I questioned her through some sniffles

“Hope is determined to get him back and now she’s looking for the Ascendent. I’d suggest you guys get here before she nearly burns the school down to rescue him.” 

Separating from my husband I take the phone from his hand. “We’ll be on our way in a few. If things start to go sideways I give you permission to use your powers by any means necessary.” Hanging up the phone I scooped Josette’s hunting knife off the ground, sliding it back down into the pocket of my jeans. Klaus moved towards the doorway clasping my hand in his heading back home. 

Comments really appreciated ❤️

[tinydooms]

The Misadventure of the McCanns, the Princess, and Rick O'Connell: A Bullet Point Story Of AU Proportions, Dastardly Deeds and Shocking Heroism That Will Chill, Thrill, and Surprise You! Part One.

Cairo, January 1924

One morning at the beginning of the year, two visitors from Rick’s past show up at the door of the Zamalek house. Rick is the one who answers the door. He opens it, sees the men on the step, and slams it shut again, locking it for good measure. 

“Come on, O’Connell!” hollers the man on the other side, “open up!”

“Go away, Hub!” Rick yells, leaning against the door as if holding it shut, “I’m married now! I have a wife and a brother-in-law who thinks he’s good at cards and I’m halfway through a B.A.! I don’t do dangerous anymore!”

“Oh yeah? Rumor has it you were involved in that weirdness here a few years back!”

“Not willingly!” Rick yells. 

“Damn it, Rick, open the goddamn door!”

The noise has alerted Evie, who ambles into the front hall to see her tall, strong, brave husband cowering behind the door. She asks who it is. 

“Hub and Garth McCann!” Rick says, which explains exactly nothing. “Guys I knew in the Legion. Crazy motherfu–heroic types. They attract trouble like bees to honey. I told them to go away.”

“Don’t be such a baby,” Evie says, reaching past Rick to open the door.

This is so patently unfair that Rick just glowers as his gorgeous, smart, librarian-with-absolutely-no-sense-of-self-preservation wife invites Hub and Garth McCann into their home and offers them coffee and biscuits. He glowers at them as they eat and drink and make small talk with Evie. He glowers when Hub sets his coffee cup down and addresses him. 

“I need your help,” he says.

“Absolutely not,” Rick replies.

“Told you so,” says Garth.

“What kind of help?” asks Evie.

The very long and convoluted story that follows boils down to this: there’s this girl (because of course there is) that Hub is madly in love with (why wouldn’t he be?), but she’s promised in marriage to a certain sheik (naturally) and Hub wants to rescue her from the harem and marry her himself (because of course he does). He and Garth have the whole thing worked out: they’ll infiltrate the palace and rescue the princess, and all Rick has to do is pose as a wealthy American tourist on vacation and spirit them all away in his aeroplane to Egypt and safety. 

“I haven’t got an aeroplane,” Rick says. 

“I’ve got a guy,” Hub says.

“Of course you do,” Rick says. 

“Of course we’ll help!” says Evie, because of course she does. 

Rick snarls.

“We’re going to die,” he says later, after the McCanns have left. “We’ve been married less than two years and you’re sending me to my death.”

“Don’t be so dramatic,” Evie replies. She’s already packing him a bag. “You won’t be anywhere near the danger. The whole point of you being there is to be the secret rescuer, not the public one. You’re doing the sneaky bit.” As if there is anything sneaky about kidnapping a princess and fleeing a country.

 It isn’t kidnapping, per se, Evie points out. It’s a liberation. No woman should be forced into a loveless marriage, and Hub McCann seems to be a stand-up man. When he’s not getting into brawls, Rick thinks but doesn’t say. He still remembers the state he was in when he met Evie and Jonathan. He sighs. This was supposed to be a short research trip: some papyri Evie needs for her dissertation are housed in the Museum of Antiquities library, and she has a months’ leave to go study them. And now he’s being bullied into another adventure he didn’t ask for. Damn Hub. This girl must be pretty incredible. 

(In his heart of hearts, Rick knows that if the situation was reversed and it was Evie they were rescuing, he’d be just as desperate as Hub is, and just as willing to rope in whoever it took to succeed. Hell, he already has.)

“If I die,” he grumbles to Evie, “at least make sure they grant me my B.A. posthumously.”

“I will not,” says Evie, “because you are not going to die.”

So two days later he finds himself stepping off a small passenger ship and going through customs in Saudi Arabia, wearing a very fine linen suit and a pair of short boots: not the ideal outfit for a rescue mission, but he looks dapper as hell, so Rick is willing to let it go. He’s got to meet up with Hub’s guy at the local airfield, to play the part of a rich tourist hiring a small plane to take them around and ‘examine’ potential oil fields. So far, so easy. He gets to the airfield and meets up with the pilot–and it’s Izzy Buttons.

There is mutual swearing on both sides. 

See, a long time ago when Rick lived in Morocco and worked for an antiquities dealer, Izzy Buttons used to occasionally transport heavier pieces around in his biplane, mostly from Marrakesh to Casablanca or Agadir. One time they had to sneak out a legally-purchased piece from a bank that had refused to give it up to its purchaser, an affair that included several bribes, two days undercover work, and a belly dancer as a distraction. It was a perfect heist–or would have been if Izzy Buttons had been on time for the pickup. He’d been shot in the ass in the melee and has never forgiven Rick for it. 

So there is some antipathy on both sides as they set out to Hub McCann’s girlfriend’s fiance’s palace in an oasis in the middle of the desert. But everything goes well: Rick arrives in the little village surrounding the palace and puts it about that he’s a wealthy American businessman on holiday, wandering about making inane remarks about all and sundry, and pretending he doesn’t speak Arabic. The charade is a success. When the McCanns show up, badly disguised as Bedouin, he ignores them until Garth seeks him out that night to give him the message that the rescue mission will take place the night after next, so be on the plane, and for heaven’s sake, don’t go anywhere near the palace. 

Rick has no intention of going anywhere near the palace, and so of course the next day an invitation to visit the grounds is extended to this most illustrious of American oilmen. Rick sighs, and longs for Evie and his B.A. work, and accepts the invitation.

The palace gardens are beautiful, the Sheik very generous and affable in humor. He is to be married, he tells Rick, for the third time, to a beautiful and accomplished young woman. About that, Rick thinks, wondering if the Sheik knows anything about the McCann brothers’ heist happening right under his nose. He suggests that the Sheik examine his lands to see if there is oil under the sand. Maybe untold wealth and riches will make up for the gross insult about to be perpetrated. So, so far so good. It isn’t until evening falls and Rick is wandering in the extensive gardens, casing the joint so to speak, that things take a very sharp left turn. 

Someone steps up behind Rick and before he can turn around or shake them off, a handkerchief dosed in chloroform is clamped over his mouth and nose. Son of a bitch, Rick thinks, and passes out.