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posttexasstressdisorder · 11 months ago

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CrowdStruck

By Edward Zitron • 19 Jul 2024 View in browser

Soundtrack: EL-P - Tasmanian Pain Coaster (feat. Omar Rodriguez-Lopez & Cedric Bixler-Zavala)

When I first began writing this newsletter, I didn't really have a goal, or a "theme," or anything that could neatly characterize what I was going to write about other than that I was on the computer and that I was typing words.

As it grew, I wrote the Rot Economy, and the Shareholder Supremacy, and many other pieces that speak to a larger problem in the tech industry — a complete misalignment in the incentives of most of the major tech companies, which have become less about building new technologies and selling them to people and more about capturing monopolies and gearing organizations to extract things through them.

Every problem you see is a result of a tech industry — from the people funding the earliest startups to the trillion-dollar juggernauts that dominate our lives — that is no longer focused on the creation of technology with a purpose, and organizations driven toward a purpose. Everything is about expressing growth, about showing how you will dominate an industry rather than serve it, about providing metrics that speak to the paradoxical notion that you'll grow forever without any consideration of how you'll live forever. Legacies are now subordinate to monopolies, current customers are subordinate to new customers, and "products" are considered a means to introduce a customer to a form of parasite designed to punish the user for even considering moving to competitor.

What's happened today with Crowdstrike is completely unprecedented (and I'll get to why shortly), and on the scale of the much-feared Y2K bug that threatened to ground the entirety of the world's computer-based infrastructure once the Year 2000 began.

You'll note that I didn't write "over-hyped" or anything dismissive of Y2K's scale, because Y2K was a huge, society-threatening calamity waiting to happen, and said calamity was averted through a remarkable, $500 billion industrial effort that took a decade to manifest because the seriousness of such a significant single point of failure would have likely crippled governments, banks and airlines.

People laughed when nothing happened on January 1 2000, assuming that all that money and time had been wasted, rather than being grateful that an infrastructural weakness was taken seriously, that a single point of failure was identified, and that a crisis was averted by investing in stopping bad stuff happening before it does.

As we speak, millions — or even hundreds of millions — of different Windows-based computers are now stuck in a doom-loop, repeatedly showing users the famed "Blue Screen of Death" thanks to a single point of failure in a company called Crowdstrike, the developer of a globally-adopted cyber-security product designed, ironically, to prevent the kinds of disruption that we’ve witnessed today. And for reasons we’ll get to shortly, this nightmare is going to drag on for several days (if not weeks) to come.

The product — called Crowdstrike Falcon Sensor — is an EDR system (which stands for Endpoint Detection and Response). If you aren’t a security professional and your eyes have glazed over, I’ll keep this brief. An EDR system is designed to identify hacking attempts, remediate them, and prevent them. They’re big, sophisticated, and complicated products, and they do a lot of things that’s hard to build with the standard tools available to Windows developers.

And so, to make Falcon Sensor work, Crowdstrike had to build its own kernel driver. Now, kernel drivers operate at the lowest level of the computer. They have the highest possible permissions, but they operate with the fewest amount of guardrails. If you’ve ever built your own computer — or you remember what computers were like in the dark days of Windows 98 — you know that a single faulty kernel driver can wreak havoc on the stability of your system.

The problem here is that Crowdstrike pushed out an evidently broken kernel driver that locked whatever system that installed it in a permanent boot loop. The system would start loading Windows, encounter a fatal error, and reboot. And reboot. Again and again. It, in essence, rendered those machines useless.

It's convenient to blame Crowdstrike here, and perhaps that's fair. This should not have happened. On a basic level, whenever you write (or update) a kernel driver, you need to know it’s actually robust and won’t shit the bed immediately. Regrettably, Crowdstrike seemingly borrowed Boeing’s approach to quality control, except instead of building planes where the doors fly off at the most inopportune times (specifically, when you’re cruising at 35,000ft), it released a piece of software that blew up the transportation and banking sectors, to name just a few.

It created a global IT outage that has grounded flights and broken banking services. It took down the BBC’s flagship kids TV channel, infuriating parents across the British Isles, as well as Sky News, which, when it was able to resume live broadcasts, was forced to do so without graphics. In essence, it was forced back to the 1950s — giving it an aesthetic that matches the politics of its owner, Rupert Murdoch. By no means is this an exhaustive list of those affected, either.

The scale and disruption caused by this incident is unlike anything we’ve ever seen before. Previous incidents — particularly rival ransomware outbreaks, like Wannacry — simply can’t compare to this, especially when we’re looking at the disruption and the sheer scale of the problem.

Still, if your day was ruined by this outage, at least spare a thought for those who’ll have to actually fix it. Because those machines affected are now locked in a perpetual boot loop, it’s not like Crowdstrike can release a software patch and call it a day. Undoing this update requires some users to have to individually go to each computer, loading up safe mode (a limited version of Windows with most non-essential software and drivers disabled), and manually removing the faulty code. And if you’ve encrypted your computer, that process gets a lot harder. Servers running on cloud services like Amazon Web Services and Microsoft Azure — you know, the way most of the internet's infrastructure works — require an entirely separate series of actions.

If you’re on a small IT team and you’re supporting hundreds of workstations across several far-flung locations — which isn’t unusual, especially in sectors like retail and social care — you’re especially fucked. Say goodbye to your weekend. Your evenings. Say goodbye to your spouse and kids. You won’t be seeing them for a while. Your life will be driving from site to site, applying the fix and moving on. Forget about sleeping in your own bed, or eating a meal that wasn’t bought from a fast food restaurant. Good luck, godspeed, and God bless. I do not envy you.

The significance of this failure — which isn't a breach, by the way, and in many respects is far worse, at least in the disruption caused — is not in its damage to individual users, but to the amount of technical infrastructure that runs on Windows, and that so much of our global infrastructure relies on automated enterprise software that, when it goes wrong, breaks everything.

It isn't about the number of computers, but the amount of them that underpin things like the security checkpoints or systems that run airlines, or at banks, or hospitals, all running as much automated software as possible so that costs can be kept down.

The problem here is systemic — that there is a company that the majority of people affected by this outage had no idea existed until today that Microsoft trusted to the extent that they were able to push an update that broke the back of a huge chunk of the world's digital infrastructure.

Microsoft, as a company, instead of building the kind of rigorous security protocols that would, say, rigorously test something that connects to what seems to be a huge proportion of Windows computers. Microsoft, in particular, really screwed up here. As pointed out by Wired, the company vets and cryptographically signs all kernel drivers — which is sensible and good, because kernel drivers have an incredible amount of access, and thus can be used to inflict serious harm — with this testing process usually taking several weeks.

How then did this slip through its fingers? For this to have happened, two companies needed to screw up epically. And boy, they did.

What we're seeing today isn't just a major fuckup, but the first of what will be many systematic failures — some small, some potentially larger — that are the natural byproduct of the growth-at-all-costs ecosystem where any attempt to save money by outsourcing major systems is one that simply must be taken to please the shareholder.

The problem with the digitization of society — or, more specifically, the automation of once-manual tasks — is that it introduces a single point of failure. Or, rather, multiple single points of failure. Our world, our lifestyle and our economy, is dependent on automation and computerization, with these systems, in turn, dependent on other systems to work. And if one of those systems breaks, the effects ricochet outwards, like ripples when you cast a rock into a lake.

Today’s Crowdstrike cock-up is just the latest example of this, but it isn’t the only one. Remember the SolarWinds hack in 2020, when Russian state-linked hackers gained access to an estimated 18,000 companies and public sector organizations — including NATO, the European Parliament, the US Treasury Department, and the UK’s National Health Service — by compromising just one service — SolarWinds Orion?

Remember when Okta — a company that makes software that handles authentication for a bunch of websites, governments, and businesses — got hacked in 2023, and then lied about the scale of the breach? And then do you remember how those hackers leapfrogged from Okta to a bunch of other companies, most notably Cloudflare, which provides CDN and DDOS protection services for pretty much the entire internet?

That whole John Donne quote — “No man is an island” — is especially true when we’re talking about tech, because when you scratch beneath the surface, every system that looks like it’s independent is actually heavily, heavily dependent on services and software provided by a very small number of companies, many of whom are not particularly good.

This is as much a cultural failing as it is a technological one, the result of management geared toward value extraction — building systems that build monopolies by attaching themselves to other monopolies. Crowdstrike went public in 2019, and immediately popped on its first day of trading thanks to Wall Street's appreciation of Crowdstrike moving away from a focused approach to serving large enterprise clients, building products for small and medium-sized businesses by selling through channel partners — in effect outsourcing both product sales and the relationship with a client that would tailor a business' solution to a particular need.

Crowdstrike's culture also appears to fucking suck. A recent Glassdoor entry referred to Crowdstrike as "great tech [with] terrible culture" with no work life balance, with "leadership that does not care about employee well being." Another from June claimed that Crowdstrike was "changing culture for the street,” with KPIs (as in metrics related to your “success” at the company) “driving behavior more than building relationships” with a serious lack of experience in the public sector in senior management. Others complain of micromanagement, with one claiming that “management is the biggest issue,” with managers “ask[ing] way too much of you…and it doesn’t matter if you do what they ask since they’re not even around to check on you,” and another saying that “management are arrogant” and need to “stop lying to the market on product capability.”

While I can’t say for sure, I’d imagine an organization with such powerful signs of growth-at-all-costs thinking — a place where you “have to get used to the pressure” that’s a “clique that you’re not in” — likely isn’t giving its quality assurance teams the time and space to make sure that there aren’t any Kaiju-level security threats baked into an update. And that assumes it actually has a significant QA team in-house, and hasn’t just (as with many companies) outsourced the work to a “bodyshop” like Wipro or Infosys or Tata.

And don’t think I’m letting Microsoft off the hook, either. Assuming the kernel driver testing roles are still being done in-house, do you think that these testers — who have likely seen their friends laid off at a time when the company was highly profitable, and denied raises when their well-fed CEO took home hundreds of millions of dollars for doing a job he’s eminenly bad at — are motivated to do their best work?

And this is the culture that’s poisoned almost the entirety of Silicon Valley. What we’re seeing is the societal cost of moving fast and breaking things, of Marc Andreessen considering “risk management the enemy,” of hiring and firing tens of thousands of people to please Wall Street, of seeking as many possible ways to make as much money as possible to show shareholders that you’ll grow, even if doing so means growing at a pace that makes it impossible to sustain organizational and cultural stability. When you aren’t intentional in the people you hire, the people you fire, the things you build and the way that they’re deployed, you’re going to lose the people that understand the problems they’re solving, and thus lack the organizational ability to understand the ways that they might be solved in the future.

This is dangerous, and also a dark warning for the future. Do you think that Facebook, or Microsoft, or Google — all of whom have laid off over 10,000 people in the last year — have done so in a conscientious way that means that the people left understand how their systems run and their inherent issues? Do you think that the management-types obsessed with the unsustainable AI boom are investing heavily in making sure their organizations are rigorously protected against, say, one bad line of code? Do they even know who wrote the code of their current systems? Is that person still there? If not, is that person at least contracted to make sure that something nuanced about the system in question isn’t mistakenly removed?

They’re not. They’re not there anymore. Only a few months ago Google laid off 200 employees from the core of its organization, outsourcing their roles to Mexico and India in a cost-cutting measure the quarter after the company made over $23 billion in profit. Silicon Valley — and big tech writ large — is not built to protect against situations like the one we’re seeing today,because their culture is cancerous. It valuesrowth at all costs, with no respect for the human capital that empowers organizations or the value of building rigorous, quality-focused products.

This is just the beginning. Big tech is in the throes of perdition, teetering over the edge of the abyss, finally paying the harsh cost of building systems as fast as possible. This isn’t simply moving fast or breaking things, but doing so without any regard for the speed at which you’re doing so and firing the people that broke them, the people who know what’s broken, and possibly the people that know how to fix them.

And it’s not just tech! Boeing — a company I’ve already shat on in this post, and one I’ll likely return to in future newsletters, largely because it exemplifies the short-sightedness of today’s managerial class — has, over the past 20 years or so, span off huge parts of the company (parts that, at one point, were vitally important) into separate companies, laid off thousands of employees at a time, and outsourced software dev work to $9-an-hour bodyshop engineers. It hollowed itself out until there was nothing left.

And tell me, knowing what you know about Boeing today, would you rather get into a 737 Max or an Airbus A320neo? Enough said.

As these organizations push their engineers harder, said engineers will turn to AI-generated code, poisoning codebases with insecure and buggy code as companies shed staff to keep up with Wall Street’s demands in ways that I’m not sure people are capable of understanding. The companies that run the critical parts of our digital lives do not invest in maintenance or infrastructure with the intentionality that’s required to prevent the kinds of massive systemic failures you see today, and I need you all to be ready for this to happen again.

This is the cost of the Rot Economy — systems used by billions of people held up by flimsy cultures and brittle infrastructure maintained with the diligence of an absentee parent. This is the cost of arrogance, of rewarding managerial malpractice, of promoting speed over safety and profit over people.

Every single major tech organization should see today as a wakeup call — a time to reevaluate the fundamental infrastructure behind every single tech stack.

What I fear is that they’ll simply see it as someone else’s problem - which is exactly how we got here in the first place.

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ectogeo-rebubbles · 1 year ago

Note

for the 'bored fanfic writer' ask game

25, 27, 29

Thanks for sending these questions! :) (Link to the ask game)

29) Share a bit from a fic you’ll never post OR from a scene that was cut from an already posted fic.

Found this paragraph floating in isolation at the bottom of the doc for a random Sloanshir idea that never really got going. But this random paragraph definitely slaps:

He rolled over and stared at the armchair by the porthole. Empty, but for the pall cast on it by a memory. It was funny how many years of pleasant memories—how many books from Garak he’d read while curled up there, how many lovers in his lap—had been overshadowed by a single interaction. But getting rid of the chair, or even moving it elsewhere, would have meant giving Sloan the power to destroy any part of his life simply by touching it.

25) Have you ever upset yourself with your own writing?

Haha yeah... T_T Usually I'm fine if I know the fic is gonna work out okay (or if I can at least picture a happier potential post-fic future), but if I know that the ending of the fic or projected future is also a big bummer then I run a very high risk of upsetting myself so much that I don't finish the fic lollll.

So, I don't actually upset myself at all while writing horrible creepy sloanshir hurt/no comfort or whatever, because even if the comfort's not in the scope of the fic, I so strongly believe in Garashir ending up together in any given scenario that I just extrapolate in my mind that it'll be fine eventually. XD

The only real problem comes in when I attempt to write Garashir bad endings (for the ship or for either person involved). Like... I REALLY wanted to finish writing my wip about the events of "The Quickening" making Julian slowly go full mad scientist once he's back on the station, but writing it made me too sad because it was important to the concept that it needed to have a devastatingly tragic ending. T_T

27) Is there a fic you were nervous to post/share? Why?

Literally every single fic I've ever written. XD But that's not a helpful answer lol.

I always feel extra nervous posting rarepair fics. With Garashir, there are TONS of canon interactions to model their behavior after, and I've also read soooo much fic about them, which means I have a very good understanding of their dynamic at various points in the timeline of canon, and I know what characterization choices work for me and what doesn't. With Siskarak, there are not that many eps that show the two of them interacting so there's more extrapolation involved in figuring out their dynamic and how to translate that into a sexual relationship, and in terms of fic I have written a solid chunk of what's even out there so I usually put tons of pressure on myself to make sure it's good. And not only good, but like, meshes well with canon and actually follows from what we know about the characters, because I want people to understand how I got from point A to point B.

In addition to that, the longer the fic (or the longer I've spent on the fic), the more nervous I feel when I post. More words, more potential to write something unclear or OOC. XD More time spent, more critical I am of it by the time I post it, because I feel like it should be better than it is given the amount of effort spent. In all honesty drabbles (100 word fics) or other very short ficlets (anything <1000 words) don't make me all that nervous to post anymore, purely due to the time spent writing being so low, which is why I've been posting so many short fics lately lmaooo. If I can bang something out all at once and post without thinking, that's ideal, because then I agonize over it waaaay less beforehand and I don't feel bad if it doesn't get many readers. XD

Posting explicit fics also always makes me a lil nervous, due to the potential embarrassment of what if I've gotten something so wrong that it takes the reader out of the steaminess of the moment.

All that said, my "Second Skin" Siskarak fic, you're a criminal as long as you're mine, recently made me very nervous to post, because it's rarepair smut and it's the second longest thing I've written all year, haha. (Everyone PLEASE go tell me I did a good job, I worked so hard on it.)

#asks #hellostuffedtiger #ask game #bored fic writer asks #feel free to send me more asks everyone #i'll reply faster maybe haha #my fic #sloanshir

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notnctu · 5 years ago

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backseat chronicles - n.jm | ridin’ club

━ welcome to the ridin’ club smut series

genre ➠ slow burn, smut, fluff, lil angst wordcount ➠ 8.5k details ➠ fem!reader, streetracer!jaemin, badboy!jaemin, college!au ━ where Jaemin brings you to his club races as his arm candy. warnings ➠ explicit language, overstimulation, flirty banter, pet names, softdom!jaemin, car sex, praise kink, hittin it raw (y/n on the pill), oral, daddy kink, slight corruption kink, fingering synopsis ➠ There is no reasonable explanation as to why or how you always end up in the backseat of Na Jaemin’s beloved car. Almost routinely, he picks you up around ten in the evening with the stereo blasting the raunchiest lyrics for your entire suburban neighborhood to hear. The entire night remains purely friendly, a dabble of flirtatious comments because well, it’s Jaemin for fuck sakes. But all it takes is one suggestive gaze from his dark, lustful eyes and a drop in his voice that rumbles your core to have you climbing over the seats to get to the back. taglist ➠ @rabbit-doyochi ; @darkneogotmyback ; @im-lame-irl ; @p-mini ; @niniluvsmarkhyuck ; @saniahmichael ; @jaehy9ngs ; @danyxthirstae01 ; @jaehyunoos ; @pikijaemin ; @suhweo ; @yunoyeol ; @lanadreamie ; @ta3ilmoon ;

a/n ➠ hi yall its author doie❀!! thank you for over 1k notes on this series, im beyond impressed by the amount of attention this got! it really blew up and its so crazy!! i wrote this one with more of a romantic plotline i realized its too hard to keep it pwp with all the story building and characterization i have :)) it’s almost over yall! pls pls leave me feedback im sorry it took so long to write ):

While college lecture rooms are too big to interact with other students, discussion classes are there to ease the difficulty. A classroom for about twenty students from a three hundred person lecture. It’s administered by a clueless TA, who barely began his second term in graduate school.

Unlike lecture, attendance is mandatory for participation points. You show up every time without a fail, so it came as a shock to you when a certain blue haired student finally appeared from the list of absent students.

Na Jaemin. The notorious playboy with looks that kill and partakes in some illegal racing club. It’s as if every person in the room fawns over his aura, Jaemin drips with an inexplicable alluring confidence. You didn’t know anything about him besides the fact that he never shows up for class and rumors about how he’s slept with the entire cheer squad.

But he’s drawn to you like a magnet: always sitting in the available spot next to you, asking about your day before the TA arrives, developing an odd staring problem. You don’t feed much into his attention, minding your own business when he starts with his notably flirtatious greeting.

“You just take my breath away, (Y/N).” Jaemin cocks back in his seat with legs stretched wide in an overly comfortable manner. The smug smirk on his face cannot be ignored, he’s doing the absolute most to get you to pay the smallest attention to him.

“I didn’t do anything in particular to do that, Jaemin.” You respond bitterly, pulling out your notes for today’s discussion class. The TA enjoys wasting the first twenty minutes going over the past lecture slides and running through the most obvious topics.

You pay no mind to Jaemin peering over at you with the single handedly most dreamy eyes and smile --- stars shining in his dark orbs and a dazzling twinkle in his wide toothy grin.

“That’s why you’re so amazing. You do nothing and it still leaves me breathless.” His sneaky eyes examine your clothing choice for the long day. On this warm afternoon, the short tank top does nothing to hide much of your skin and the denim shorts that ride up a little too well drive Jaemin insane. And when you cross your legs together, he swallows the spit that pools in the back of his throat.

Your ears catch onto the murmurs of the rest of the class, the midterm is next week. The wretched midterm that is half of your grade dooms you, it is going to take an endless amount of completely undistracted dedicated hours of study--- “On a more serious note, can you help me with this class?”

His voice shatters your inner panic, if anything, adds to the stress that already beats down on your shoulders. You look up to glare at him, but you’re entirely taken aback by the new styling of his hair and the exposure of his tattoos.

The sweet blue cotton candied strands are ruffled lazily above his brows, messy from him constantly running his hand through them. Jaemin sits relaxed in gray sweatpants that are extremely baggy on his slender figure, hands are shoved casually into the pockets.

But what has you staring for longer is the long sleeve of tattoos that wrap around his left arm. Not that you’re surprised that Jaemin has tattoos, let alone a whole sleeve, but this is your first time seeing it as this is the first time he’s come to class without his leather jacket on. Something about the intricate lines and shadowing make Jaemin seem much cooler, almost more attractive.

When you meet his eyes, his lips curl slowly into a sly side smile and he’s practically eating you up under his gaze. He definitely knew that you were staring and what comes next out of his mouth will haunt you for it. “Like what you see, beautiful?”

“I don’t have the time to help you.” The best way out of this situation is to simply ignore it. Jaemin is overly adored and admired by many, he’ll find someone else to help him.

“Jaemin, do you want to study together?” There you go, folks. The random girl snickers with her small huddle of friends in the upper corner of the room, like a crowd of crows, they’re all waiting around for Jaemin to accept her offer so he can be easily integrated into their little group.

However, you watch how his glances bounce between you and her. The most sickly sweet, kind smile is almost too fake to consider it to be genuine. His final choice surprises you, “thank you for offering, but I only want (Y/N)...”

Your breath hitches and gets caught in your throat as you hope for him to finish his sentence, the drumming of your heart distracting you even more. Jaemin wants you? While the thought is flattering, it puzzles you greatly.

“... to help me with my studies.” Jaemin finishes his sentence after a rather long pause, his eyes finally resting upon your figure shying away and finding any way to seem uninterested in the conversation. “Is that going to be okay, (Y/N)?”

“What do I get out of it?” You can’t believe that you are actually considering it. But this is a man that only wants you to help him. Jaemin is an impossible, yet charming man and whatever comfortable attire he is wearing today is really aiding in his request.

He lights up, ears perked up and eyes attentive. His hands fold together on the empty desk, leaning forward towards you. “Dates with me.”

Rolling your eyes, you groan slightly at the arrogant answer. “I don’t care about that. I want something that benefits me.”

“I’ll make sure you’re well fed.” There is a tiny plea in his tone, a remarkable shift from his cool aura. “What do you want? I’ll give it to you.”

“I guess I can’t turn down free food…” there is a hang in your sentence as you contemplate what chaos you’re about to dive into and what life changes are about to be explored with Jaemin.

“Before you agree,” Jaemin chuckles, “there’s one more thing I’d like you to do for me.”

You’re quick to shoot a daggering glare at the overly enthusiastic boy, “why do I suddenly owe you favors?”

“Because I say so.” He deadpans, a chill running down your spine at the deep dip in his octave. The playfulness that was present all this time suddenly vanished, a serious look that intimidates you, but sexy enough to where it erupts something in your core. He blinks at you with dark clouded eyes and you nervously anticipate what he is going to ask next of you.

“Accompany me to my races.” He speaks lowly as if he’s afraid of someone else eavesdropping in the conversation.

Here’s your issue with that request: you’ve never really been part of that scene. You’ve lived pretty mundanely, even in college. It’s simple, you like to stay within the boundaries of what you enjoy to do and what you have to do. But you’re always open minded and willing to try something to determine whether or not you’re fond of it.

Partying and drinking copious amounts of alcohol weren’t your favorite things to do, especially to the point of forgetting your nights. You wanted to remember your nights as much as you do your days. The youth isn’t here for long, why waste them by blacking out in the middle of a large party? Also, whoever said that alcohol goes down smooth is a blatant liar.

Illegal racing could possibly be an extension of people who participate in those things, which is fine, but does place a crippling fear of coming off too boring or unrelatable inside your nervous system. But just because you don’t do those things doesn’t mean that you’re not as cool, right?

Since when was your status based nonsensically on how often you spend your nights in socializing crowds full of sweaty bodies and how much cheap booze you can drink? It had to be all in your head --- you’re just dreading any awkward socializing with people who race cars when it’s absolutely illegal.

“Why me?” It’s a genuine answer, possibly stemming from your insecurities of not being on the same level of charm as Jaemin exudes. You’re not a fool, you’re well aware of the many different people he comes across on campus so, why you?

Jaemin doesn’t hesitate to answer, “why not you? You’re just my type. Hot and smart. Cute and a little shy. The greatest duality, if you ask me.” His words seem so genuine that it has you believing these things about yourself as well.

Nonetheless, you’re taken aback by his observations and his choice of descriptions. “We’ve barely ever talked. How can you say these things so confidently about me?”

Jaemin slightly pulls your chair closer to his own and you yelp in response to the sudden movement and lack of space that separates the two of you. He leans into you, breath hot on your skin and obvious eyes darting between your shocked ones and pretty lips.

“So let’s get to know each other. I can already tell that it’ll just make me fall for you even more.” His finger lightly traces your jaw, stopping at your chin to give it a small lift to meet his focus. Jaemin loves how you squirm underneath his intensity, you’re too cute to let go. “Plus, my boys will love you. I’m sure of it.”

The TA rushes in quickly and is utterly distressed from the traffic that had pushed back his schedule. “Sorry, I’m late everyone.” He rummages through his things to find his notes, but groans to see that the monitor of the computer is off. It’s going to take him another ten minutes to input all his credentials.

But your attention doesn’t stray from Jaemin, especially with his delicate touch at the bottom of your chin. His gentle smile enacts nothing but a soft love, and a peak of interest. Na Jaemin, the one and only. He’s like an adventure waiting to be explored, an open bottle of fun for you to take a sip.

“What would I have to do?” Your voice comes out shaky.

“Just be there as your pretty self.” Jaemin comes off as the type to always have women around him, “you’ll be my lucky charm. For some reason, I always feel better around you.”

The escalation of this conversation is possibly more action you’ve had to handle in the last two years. Jaemin drops your chin and falls back into his own seat with his arms crossed. He is about to turn your life upside down and whether that be a good or bad thing, you don’t mind. You’re excited for the new thrills that come with being by Na Jaemin’s side.

Jaemin’s hot hands lift your shirt quickly, throwing it towards the front seat of his car. His lips return to your soft neck, nibbling at your skin tenderly and with love bites that will remind you of his gentle touches. The streetlamps outside flicker impatiently as you feel the eagerness soaking your panties and he lifts you up to take them off.

“My sweet girl,” his voice is light and airy that it becomes almost lost in the heat of the car. “You’re excited tonight. Did you miss me?” The devilish smirk can be felt upon your collarbones.

“Yes, I haven’t seen you for almost five days.” A peculiar whine settles in your pout and Jaemin’s low growl sends shivers down your spine. The only barrier are his own tight jeans and your hands are fast at unbuckling his belt. Jaemin relaxes back, forearms resting on your soft thighs and watching the neediness in your expression and the speed of your hands. He smiles to himself seeing you this way, wanting him so badly that you can’t wait to get him out of his jeans.

Throughout the two months that you and Jaemin finally became well acquainted, he’s fallen inexplicably into your trance. His friends made it very clear to you that he doesn’t keep the same girl around for more than a few weeks. But he’s brought you to almost every race so far and despite the initial shock of your appearance after the third time, you didn’t let the passing comments phase you.

Why he hasn’t replaced you is unknown and truthfully, there is no reasonable explanation how you always wind up in the backseat of his car by the end of the night. It’s become part of your routine. Jaemin picks you up around ten in the evening with raunchy lyrics blasting out of his personalized car for your entire suburban neighborhood to hear. More often than not, Jaemin has food ready for you to devour and a cozy blanket for your exposed legs.

You’ve learned a bit more about him through your backseat chronicles. Jaemin is possibly one of the only people in your life with a heart bigger than his own body, while also being as carefree as he can. Oddly enough, he cares about you as his friend and as his companion. Not to mention the ridiculous, yet endearing nickname, “Lucky Charm”, that he has coined upon you.

Jaemin has been the best adventure you’ve had in ages. While he takes you on intoxicating thrill rides on the leather of his back seats, every street race has been more than unforgettable. He shares one of the same values as you --- wanting to remember the present. You both know that you’ll remember each other enough for it to transcend into your next lives.

You have him to thank for your youthful experiences, to learn and dive into this new found world of mischief under his care. Jaemin treats you extraordinarily well, he’d never hurt a soul. He showers you in appraisal and carefulness, he’s attentive to your behavior and remembers your favorite things. And he reminds you almost every time you see him that he’s so grateful to have you in his life.

“Have you been touching yourself?” Jaemin’s bold question catches you off guard as it causes your hands to shyly hover over his unzipped jeans. When you glance up at him with soft innocent eyes, as if you’re guilty of a crime and wish to beg for forgiveness, his facial expression is serious and intimidating.

“Continue, baby. You can be honest with me. Daddy isn’t going to punish you if you did.” His tone is sweet and light, but his eyes are dark and piercing. His lips are drawn tightly into a thin line, no curve in sight.

His finger grazes down your cheek gently as he admires your slightly parted lips and the way your eyelashes dance every time you blink. However, his other hand urges you to continue your previous action of getting him out of his restrictive jeans.

You nod, while rubbing his erection through his gray briefs that hug him so tightly. There’s a sharp intake of breath when you pull the waistband of his underwear down and his cock stands against his lower abdomen. “Do you think of me when you do?” His voice gets caught in his throat when you take him in your warm hand.

“Always.” You kiss his jawline and fix your position above his dick. Your slick pussy presses down against his shaft, coating it in your juices and rubbing his tip to your clit for a delicious sensation. Jaemin groans, his gaze dipping between your lower bodies and back to your face.

“My sweet (Y/N) thinks about her daddy fucking her senseless while she touches herself.” Jaemin chuckles darkly, grinding his hips harder against you. There is a shift in the atmosphere as he grips your hips and slowly enters your dripping hole. “That’s cute, baby.”

You hold onto his shoulders as his raw dick fills you to the brim, stretching you out like past nights. Gasps leave your body when he starts pulling all the way out to only have you sink back down. “Daddy, please just fuck me.”

Jaemin picks up his speed, knowing that you have a quiz due at midnight that you scolded him for forgetting earlier. The grip on his shoulders tighten as this man navigates your body all too well. He knows you like the back of his hand, fucking the spot that causes your body to lose control.

One of his favorite sights in the world is the view of your lips parted open with loud whimpers falling effortlessly. Your eyes roll back into your skull as his hips roll deeper into your walls, the tip hitting your sweet spot repeatedly.

“You’re always the best girl for me, aren’t you?” His hand wraps around your neck when you throw your head back, choking you lightly and your walls grip around his shaft. “I know you’re close. Cum on my dick, baby. Be a good girl.”

Jaemin’s tattoos shine under the moonlight when you peer down at him. His hooded eyes are intoxicated by the pure image of your fucked out body and he’s truly in love. “My good girl, come on baby.” He continues to encourage, his other hand giving you a smack on your ass when he drills mercilessly into you.

The familiar bubbling occupy your lower half and the feeling of release unravels all so suddenly. You fall forward, Jaemin lets go of your neck to hold your limp body close to him, your head on his shoulder as your orgasm overtakes you. He grinds his hips into you to prolong your shaking climax, cooing sweet nothings in your ear as his other hand takes a whole handful of ass to squeeze.

He bottoms out, filling you up to the rim to cum deep inside of you. Jaemin moans loudly, his cum spilling all over your walls. You two sit like that until he grows soft, pampering your temples with gentle kisses. Jaemin remembers to take care of you, no matter what.

While you’re in his arms, he reaches for sanitary wipes in the side compartments. He lifts your hips slowly to pull out and you sigh at the emptiness. Gently, he swipes at the dripping cum from your pussy and makes sure that you’re all cleaned up before getting dressed.

“So, you want to tell me why you’ve been MIA for the past five days?” Rolling your eyes, you pull up your panties and fix the last decency of your hair.

“Car meets that are too far for me to take you.” His thumb rubs your chin lovingly and Jaemin’s eyes are so bright and mesmerizing, you find that it’s hard to look him in the eye at times.

“Not because you’ve been hooking up with other girls?” There is a tinge of sarcasm that laces your rhetorical question and though you don’t expect him to give you an actual answer, you take note of his reaction. Jaemin raises an eyebrow, clearing his throat and looking out the window away from you.

“And if I was?” Truthfully, that question hurt you more than your’s hurt him. His hand rests underneath his chin as he patiently waits for your answer. He admires the clear night sky and the rundown abandoned liquor store that stands all by itself.

“What do you want me to say?” Question after question, a stiff tension replaces the sex of the car.

“I’ll take you back now.” Jaemin crawls back to the driver’s seat, completely ignoring your confused figure. He has always been quite like this: going aloof whenever he wants to dodge something. However, it’s been happening more frequently the past times you two have been seeing each other.

The truth is simple, yet entirely complex at the same time. You and Jaemin aren’t dating, despite always going out together and him posessively introducing you to other men. You and Jaemin aren’t dating.

Nevertheless, it doesn’t stop you from growing feelings for him and you can tell that this happens too often for the attractive boy. He can’t have a fuckbuddy that won’t fall head over heels for him. But who could really blame you? Even if all this time Jaemin was pretending that he cared about you, he still pampers you like a princess; he still tells you he does.

But when it comes to discussion about advancing into something more, he hides and grows silent. This has you wondering, maybe this entire thing to him is all sex? And he can’t love you back the way you do.

No one knows his heart, not even himself. He’s never wanted to complicate his life, it’s always been about two things: racing and having fun. There is no easy way to explain it all, the thoughts that flood his mind and heart, so he chooses every way to ignore it. Overall, he’s genuinely lost. You are one source of stability in his life that he isn’t willing to let go, ever. But just because he won’t let you go, doesn’t mean that you won’t take the chance to leave when you’re fed up with him.

This has him wondering, how far can he push before he pushes you too far?

“No, it’s fine. I’ll just walk.” Tonight is unsettling, it usually doesn’t end like this. Jaemin locks the car doors and turns around to reach for your hand. “Jaemin, open the door.”

“I want you to say that you hate when I sleep with other people.” Jaemin confesses all too wildly as his hand lightly squeezes around your wrist. “And I want you to mean it.” He’s only speaking words of truth that haven’t had the time to process in his own thoughts.

“I hate when you sleep with other people.” And you do mean it. You mean it more than anything you’ve ever said to this man. Jaemin just sighs, bringing your wrist to his lips for a lasting kiss.

“Can I drive you home?” Jaemin asks softly, eyes dipping down to the leather seats and avoiding all need for eye contact.

“Yes, Jaemin.” He pulls you back into the passenger seat and drapes the soft blanket over your exposed legs. “Hopefully, I still have time to take my quiz.”

“Can I come inside?” Jaemin coolly turns his marble wheel to reverse out of the parking space, a hand resting on the shoulder of your seat as he does a double take behind him for any pedestrians, even if you two are far out in the middle of nowhere and there isn’t anyone around; Jaemin knows you have the hots for him when he does that specific move.

“What do you mean? You’ve already cum inside.”

It’s the sound of disappointment as his tongue tsks at you and he flicks lightly at your forehead. He steps on the acceleration, revving the annoying engine that roars throughout the peaceful night. The multicolored lights illuminate around his stereo and at your feet, creating the Rainbow Road right out of Mario Kart.

Jaemin isn’t like the others who pay close attention to the details of his car. His motto goes, “if I like it, I’m going to have it.” Whether or not anything matches goes beyond his worries.

In some ways, his car is a mirror of his own personality --- wild and free, colorful and welcoming. And his skills as a driver? Safe, no matter how far the speedometer goes, Jaemin always makes you feel safe.

“I mean come inside your room for aftercare. You know how much I hate leaving you without a proper cuddle.” He pouts and almost immediately his cute baby tone comes out with his beg. Almost subconsciously, Jaemin lays his right palm open facing up to invite yours in. Almost routinely, you lace your hands to complete his hold. Getting Jaemin to smile has never been easier as his hold grows tighter.

“You can’t stay over tonight though. My housemates are doing some Single Girls Only house event tomorrow and it starts immediately when we wake up.” You laugh as the ridiculous words fill the air.

“And you’re participating in that?” Jaemin mindlessly asks and you’re unable to differentiate his implications from the question. Is he asking because the idea is horrendously nothing you’d like to do or he’s implying that you’re not single?

“Why wouldn’t I?” Sounding rather harsher than intended, Jaemin finally realizes how poorly he had worded his previous question. Yet, a part of him feels disappointment whirling in his chest and a desire to feel wanted by you.

“Doesn’t seem like something you’d like: wallowing in your singleness.” He chuckles, remaining lighthearted and playful.

“I really don’t.” Jaemin brings your knuckles up to his lips for a lingering kiss, his eyes darting quickly on the road ahead now that you’ve entered the metropolitan areas and his speed drops significantly to avoid getting ticketed.

“I’ll come pick you up. Instead of being single tomorrow, you’ll be on a date.” When you turn to examine his facial expression, the serious tension in his jawline and focused eyes alarm you. Your stomach twists into knots and if he couldn't already tell, your palms grow sweaty at his offer.

“That’s such a slap in the face to them.” Pulling your hand away from his, you cross your arms and lean your head against the cold window. “I don’t think I can do that to them.”

“I have a race tomorrow.” He starts, his head tilting over at you with his round gorgeous begging eyes, “at least, come to that with me.”

“Okay, but only because I want to see Haechan.” As if it wasn’t moments ago, Jaemin was the one balls deep in you and now you’re spewing enthusiasm for another man. It’s all a joke, a way for you to conceal your undying attraction for Jaemin.

You still remember the first time you met the sunshine that is Haechan and the jealousy that seeped from Jaemin’s words when he noticed the exchange of flirtation. Haechan is someone you’d knowingly gravitate towards: a man with a loud personality that just knows how to conduct every personality in the room. And at that moment, Jaemin couldn’t tell if being more observant was a good or bad thing.

Jaemin never saw himself as outgoing as his other friends, staying more kept in his own circle, but he had the confidence to fake it. He’s bold, rather impulsive and slightly narcissistic, Jaemin knows how to use his strengths very well.

However, when he saw the soft smirk on Haechan’s face and your shy mannerisms, a small tinge in his chest ignited a died out flame. He didn’t realize it before, but that was the very start of his long tumble of feelings for you.

“Do you say those things to purposefully get me jealous?” Jaemin rests his hand on your thigh, giving it a harsh squeeze. His eyes never leave the road and his tone reverts back to his dominant tone.

“Well, are you jealous?” It’s like you two dance in circles, answer questions with a question does not stop.

And as bratty as your tone is, you don’t expect the quick “yes” that answers back and the smoldering look he gives you briefly before focusing back on the drive.

“Then good.” You huff, ready to hop out of the car after the odd, yet sensual tension. Jaemin pulls up to your house and double parks the car to lean in for a nightly goodbye kiss.

“You’re not coming in?” You try to read his facial expressions, but he hides his emotions too perfectly.

His lips curl into a smile before saying, “I think it’s better I cool off tonight.” And you mindlessly give him a peck, but he holds your face to deepen it. Through the kiss, you can feel the neediness by the way Jaemin shoves his tongue into your mouth. The taste of lust against your palette is difficult to ignore, but your academically responsible mind screams at you about your forgotten quiz.

Your hand lightly taps at his chest and he pulls away, his eyes drinking up your swollen lips. “I have a quiz, Jaemin.”

“I know, sorry. It’s just so easy to get lost in you.” Jaemin kisses your cheek once more before you exit. You smile back at him as his words have grown a strong effect on you lately. Bidding him goodbye, he wishes you sweet dreams as he patiently makes sure you’re fully inside your house.

“Is the music too loud?” Jaemin checks over at your hunched figure in the passenger seat. You’re diligently flipping through your thick textbook, a yellow highlighter in one hand and the other comfortably holding Jaemin’s.

The worst part of college is the never ending midterms that are given at any time. Studying in his car isn’t a rare sight, if anything it is more expected than you not doing anything related to your academics. But Jaemin genuinely doesn’t mind, even being mindful about his own actions to ensure an optimal studying space for you.

He really is an ideal guy. Like his first promise, he keeps you well fed and never once asks you for any monetary pay back. Jaemin adjusts the car temperature before you even step into the vehicle, knowing that you prefer wearing less clothes rather than more. Though he isn’t academically responsible, he still makes the effort to try and understand enough information to pass his classes.

The sole flaw would be the lack of open communication. It’s genuinely difficult for you to read his emotions or intentions. Jaemin always has a dazed look in his eyes whenever he looks at you, and it’s an internal fight about whether or not you’re being delusional.

“Music is fine, honey.” The mindless use of a pet name slips from your lips, but your concentration on neoliberalism and globalization doesn’t allow for you to notice.

Nevertheless, Jaemin catches on immediately to the usage. While he showers you in ridiculous nicknames, you’re not one to do so. “Honey?”

“Yes?” You answer back carelessly, not entirely actively listening to him as you highlight an important concept in your book.

“No, you called me honey.”

Looking up from your page, you blink at him with wide eyes and mouth slightly agape. “I did?”

Jaemin chuckles and finally pulls into the overly crowded parking lot, a whole mass of fanboys cheering at the arrival of his flashy vehicle. Everyone just loves Jaemin.

This familiar scene plays like a reel --- several high beams cast light under the dark sky due to the lack of functioning street lamps, dizzy multicolored cars that blaze the tracks, and the all too distinct smell of musky cologne in the chilly air. Oh, and the wide eye admirable stares when you get out of the car.

“Hi, you’re stunning.” A bold new recruit blinks at you in complete awe and awkwardly clears his throat once he realizes his rash comment.

Jaemin raises an eyebrow at him, then at how you plan on handling the situation. You’re flattered, nonetheless, but know that Jaemin didn’t bring you here to flirt with other men. “Thank you. I hope you enjoy your membership in the Ridin’ Club.”

The gracefulness in your delicate voice has the youthful recruit swooning and subtly giddy as he runs off to join a group of others that have been eying you across the parking lot. Jaemin casually drapes his leather jacket over your exposed shoulders, knowing the temperature change is going to result in you most likely catching a cold and because you never bring a jacket despite his plea.

“The power you hold.” Jaemin winks at you before pulling you into a larger crowd to socialize with more impressionable recruits.

“Ah, so you’re (Y/N)!” The stranger is unrecognizable, but you giggle to acknowledge his confident statement. “We haven’t met before, but Jaemin was talking about you the other night at our motorcycle meet.”

Your eyes light up, as if you’ve unlocked a new fun fact of Na Jaemin. “You drive a motorcycle too?” You’re truly shocked at the talent of this man.

Jaemin snakes his arm around your lower waist to draw you closer to his side. “Yeah, but I can’t fuck you in a motorcycle, can I?”

Before the other men can comment on the obvious sexual tension that Jaemin created, he leans in to whisper into your ear. “Actually, I can, but we’ll save our decency from unwanted exposure.” His hot breath grazes against the shell of your ear and you just know where you two are going to end up tonight.

“Bro, you guys probably fuck in the backseat of his car.” One of them chimes recklessly, punching at each others’ chest playfully as if he made a decent joke.

“Why don’t you stay to find out?” Jaemin retorts and the grip on your hip becomes tighter. You’re too flustered to add much into this odd form of competitive banter, distracted by none other than the way Jaemin keeps glancing over at you with a delicious gleam in his eyes.

“So what? You don’t care about us now?” You’d know that bratty tone from anywhere as Lee Haechan pushes past everyone else to rush over to the both of you.

“Aw, are your feelings hurt?” Jaemin sticks his tongue out at his friend before cordially sharing a handshake with him.

“Just slightly.” Haechan looks over at you with a wide grin and playful eyes, “hello, my pretty girl.”

“Drop the possessives, Haechan.” Jaemin rolls his eyes with an irritable twitch on his lips.

He hates how obviously jealous he gets. It’s something too difficult for himself to control, he’s exhausted his efforts to bite his tongue whenever it comes to other people’s flirtations. The thought of someone else calling you theirs doesn’t sit well with him.

“I understand your jealousy, Jaem. If someone was flirting with (Y/N), I wouldn’t be able to stand it either.” Haechan fixes the falling jacket on your shoulders. “But she can handle herself, I know those pretty lips have a mind of their own.” His gaze drops momentarily, yet obvious enough for you to grow shy at how strong Haechan is coming off tonight.

“Stop trying to corrupt her, that’s my job.” Jaemin playfully pushes at Haechan’s chest and they both break out laughing.

“I haven’t said one thing and you’re both talking about me as if I’m not here.” Your small pout is literally the cutest thing to Jaemin. He physically has to stop himself from planting the sweetest kiss on it.

It’s blatantly clear that you’re hot stuff. You’re the perfect example of a head turner, your captivating aura has its ability to suffocate those around you. However, Jaemin has seen all sides of you, but overall finding you so entirely cute. And oddly enough, Jaemin has a knack for cute things.

“Is that (Y/N) I hear?” Huang Renjun engulfs you in a hug, showing clear affection and doesn’t mind doing so. “How did your project go?”

“It went well. You accomplish a lot when you don’t procrastinate.” Renjun gleams at your statement and if Jaemin is delusional enough, he’d probably mistaken the twinkle in his eyes for infatuation instead of admiration.

“You’re so responsible, why are you messing with Jaemin?” Renjun sighs and though his question is more of a joke, there is some truth behind his words.

Your friendship with his friends differ immensely compared to other girls who have come around. Like Jaemin had said before, his boys were going to like you and they do, a lot. Sometimes making it obvious that you’re too good for him.

Jeno comes up from the side, an unidentifiable bruise on his neck and a new cut on his brow. Lee Jeno being such a rough character, his appearance speaks well about how his day has been.

But when he lays his eyes on you, it’s as if all his pain is replaced with joy and security. “(Y/N)! I haven’t seen you in so long!” The enthusiastic boy rushes over to greet you with a warm smile.

“I’m pretty sure I was here a week ago.” You laugh, but welcome him in your arms for a tender friendly hug and pat his head out of habit.

“It’s been a week?! That’s so long.” Jeno narrows his eyes at Jaemin and flicks his forehead.

“Ow!” Jaemin exclaims while rubbing the pain away. “You act like she doesn’t go to the same school as us and therefore, can see her any time you want to.” The tone in Jaemin’s voice raises some eyebrows as they all exchange glances to each other before bursting into laughter.

“Like your jealous ass would allow for that?” Haechan remarks and Jaemin doesn’t outwardly react. However, Jaemin’s hand is squeezing you so tight that you’re more than certain he’s bothered by the comment.

“Oh, stop it. You all know I’m Team Jaemin. He does have the most wins this past month.” You only know that through Jaemin’s proud boasting, anything else in the racing world is unknown to you.

Jaemin situates you in between his legs as he slightly sits on the hood of his car. His arms wrap around your middle and chin rests on your shoulder. Public display of affection isn’t a problem for him, and you learned much earlier that Jaemin can’t keep his hands off of you.

Renjun scoffs at your whimsical fact, in absolute disbelief. “It hurts more hearing you say it. I’m getting my car upgraded, but once it’s done, I’m going to blaze his ass on the tracks.”

“Are you racing today?” Jeno asks the blue haired fellow that clings onto you like a koala.

“Yeah, against a newbie. Apparently he’s really good, so I’m not too sure I’ll win.” Jaemin mumbles into your hair.

“You say that every time, yet you win!” Renjun crosses his arms, weight shifting to his left leg as he pops his hip out. There is always a sense of competition between anyone with Renjun.

Jaemin perks up behind you and when you turn around in his arms, you’re face to face with a beaming smile. “That’s because I have you.” Eyes lock with yours, he isn’t saying that directed to Renjun. Na Jaemin has you wrapped around his pinky, the butterflies fluttering in your stomach are too hard to ignore.

“Alright, lovebirds. Get in your car and let’s start this shit.” Haechan groans and claps his hands to draw the crowd’s attention. Cupping them around his mouth, he roars into the starry night, “let’s roll!”

During the race, Jaemin’s number one priority is to keep you safe. While you’ve sat in his car for a number of times now, it’s different once the loud bang goes off and he’s hitting 100 mph. Tonight’s track is much more dangerous, with twists and turns that can have the vehicle flying weightlessly if he’s not careful.

“You trust me, right?” Jaemin has both hands on the wheel and the engine rumbling as you both anticipate the start of the race.

Spectators watch on the sidelines as if it’s the ultimate battle, but Jaemin doesn’t pay them much mind. He’s more concerned about you instead. “Of course. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be sitting here right now. You’ve proven yourself that you’re an excellent driver, so let’s win this.”

Jaemin smirks at your encouraging words, feeling a warmth spread across his chest. “I’ll tap out any time you want me to, okay?”

You nod and the initial whip of the car is so intense that you didn’t even register the sound off. It’s not your first race, but it’s been awhile since the last one. When you adjust to the pressure, the lanes in front of you cause a slight queasiness in your stomach.

It’s a two lane windy road that wraps around the mountain side and Jaemin happens to be in the outer lane. All it takes is a second of lost control and you two will hit the metal railings that guard the cliff below. Despite your inner panic, Jaemin guides you through the pooling anxiety that leaves you restless.

“(Y/N), look up and out the window. We’re coming up on the cliff side view, I’ve always wanted to bring you here.” Your eyes land on the dazzling glitter that dances on the ripples of the lake. It’s so vast, the moon high up in the sky is reflected on the water below. It’s a romantic scene of melancholy and bliss. Suddenly, you feel at peace in the middle of this high speed race.

“It’s beautiful, Jaem.” You whisper calmly and he’d reach for your hand to hold, but races take too much wheel control. And he’d turn to look at you, but races take too much concentration on the road ahead.

But throughout every obstacle, he hears the gentleness and the solidarity in your cadence in the midst of all the high stress. He, too, feels peace. He feels calm knowing that you’re simply by his side, even in the face of danger. So, he can finally admit to himself… he genuinely developed feelings for you.

Before you know it, you’re thrusted side to side from the sharp turns and the adrenaline kicks in when the other racer catches up right next to Jaemin. “Fuck,” Jaemin curses underneath his breath and steps harshly on the acceleration. “Baby, I’m going to go a bit faster so hold onto something.” He warns and your hand finds the grab handle. It’s neck and neck at this point.

Usually, you squeeze your eyes shut to avoid becoming too overwhelmed by the sights in front of you. Tonight is different, not entirely knowing why, you’re observing every element that circles around the perimeter.

The finish line is up ahead, but there is no sign that the other racer is slowing down. Then, you see it: the fatal mistake that can cost you both of your lives if you didn’t catch it. “Jaemin, watch out!” You yelp when the other car inches dangerously close, your warning allows Jaemin to make a controlled swerve away from a possible hit.

Jaemin shakes his head and tsks at the recklessness. “Now I know why he’s good. It’s foul play.” He blows his bang out of his eyes and casually says, “thank you for warning me. This is why I need you by my side.”

He makes it to the finish line barely before the other, winning the race by half a second. Jaemin brakes smoothly, tire marks scrapping the concrete below, and you both exit the car to celebrate with everyone else.

But before the mass of eager shouting men make their way over to you two, Jaemin hurries to your side to pull you into a steamy, rewarding kiss. The scene is just like the movies; his hand on your lower back and yours on his chest lightly. His lips taste like triumph, like he had won more than just a simple race against a random stranger. He’s won the best person he could ever have.

You two fled the scene after cussing out the other racer. It was a rare sight to see: Jaemin being all bothered and angry, practically fuming after scrambling back into the driver’s seat. However, your mind had mischievous plans of its own and all it took was one look from his hooded eyes for you to announce that you wanted him --- badly.

Back in your usual abandoned parking lot, Jaemin pauses before following you to the back seats. With the engine off and the dead of the night being absolute silent, the tension remains thick around you two. “(Y/N),” Jaemin is about to confess something he never thought he’d admit. He turns to you sitting in the middle seat with just your panties on and a curious look on your face.

His heart burns and despite being so incredibly aroused, he controls his urges enough to be able to say, “I’m into you.”

“I know you’re into me, that’s how we ended up like this in the first place.” You giggle cluelessly to his words, still not understanding the odd shift in mood and intentions. It’s always his unclear, messy intentions.

Though he can’t entirely figure out his puzzle pieces, he has plenty to connect the dots. “I like you. I want to be in a relationship with you and call you my girlfriend.”

You’re stunned. Did Jaemin just confess to you as you sit in your panties ready to fuck? This softness is different from the sides you’ve seen of him. It’s similar to a lost bunny, wandering grasslands to find a purpose. He looks so fragile, one intense stare and he’d crumble. This softness is vulnerability.

“So do it.” The boldness catches him off guard, but switches on the dominance in him. “If you want me, come show it.”

He climbs over the middle console to push you into the leather seats. “Not acting shy anymore, are you?” Practically ripping your shirt off of you, he cups your breast lightly and flicks at your nipples. Your immediate reaction results in a rush of wetness down your core.

“Before I forget,” sitting up, you share a passionate kiss that you’ve held back long enough. You give it every ounce of feeling you have for him. “If it isn’t obvious enough, I like you too.”

“It’s obvious, baby.” Kissing your nose, he wraps a hand around your throat to lightly push you back down. “But hearing you say it out loud makes me happy.” Jaemin smirks, hand still choking you gently and pampering your jawline with soft kisses.

His free hand reaches down into your dripping panties, circling your clit with your wetness. The sensation causes you to whimper for more. “Daddy, give it to me.” You wiggle in his palm, knowing that the nickname is more than effective.

“My sweet (Y/N) wants to get fucked?” Jaemin rolls your underwear off and rids himself of his own bottoms.

“Yes, please.” Through the darkness, his hard dick stands proudly. Jaemin lines himself up as he thrusts into you without another second of hesitation. He waits for you to adjust to his size, his tip barely grazing your sweet spot. “Fuck…”

“You take me so well, my pretty baby.” Jaemin starts moving his hips, slowly at first to build a rhythm. Taking your legs, he presses them into your chest to fuck you at a deeper angle. And you feel him practically in your guts, his cock pumping against your walls deliciously and bumping into your g-spot. “Do you want more of me?”

Your train of thought is in utter shambles and whatever Jaemin is saying to you barely processes. You’re overwhelmed by a pleasure that fills every system, every part of your body. To answer him, you let out an incoherent noise of approval.

Jaemin pulls your hips down while thrusting forward into you, maximizing every inch of his strokes. This single action causes you to scream and grip onto the headrest. “Who knew my sweet girl could be so fucking dirty?” Jaemin chuckles darkly, his cadence dropping several decibels. “When I first met you, I wanted to ruin you.”

All of his filthy words edge you closer to your release as he continues to repeat his previous motion. He holds your hips in place to grind into you, the feeling of his tip rubbing your walls has your eyes rolling back. “Do you want to cum, (Y/N)?”

“Yes!” You yell, the tight ball in your lower abdomen is bound to break any minute. “I want to cum so badly, please.” You beg and moan, the arch in your back lifts you from the seat of the car. Jaemin snaps his hips into you, drilling you quickly to reach your high. And you break. An euphoric cry fills the air as your walls clench around his length. You hear the extra wetness create a slick noise, but Jaemin isn’t done with you yet.

“You wanted to cum so fucking badly. I’ll reward you with one more for being such a good girl for me.” His thumb flicks at your clit and you convulse into spasms from the sensitivity. Your violently shaking legs can’t hold themselves up anymore and Jaemin rests them on his shoulders. He lines kisses along your ankle as the pleasure overtakes you.

“I don’t think I can do it.” You whine, your fingers twisting and toes curling.

“You are going to try, okay baby?” He coos, but it’s most definitely a demand. He sits back on his knees to pick up more speed, fucking endlessly into your swollen pussy and thumb rubbing fast strips against your bud.

“I’m going to snap, Jaem.” You cry, tears rimming your eyes and before you know it, a second wave hits you. Your second orgasm is ruinous and has you squirming around to regain some sense of control.

“Oh fuck, you’re so beautiful.” Jaemin slows down as your walls grip around him again, tighter this time. “I’m going to fill you up with cum,--- watch it drip out of you.” He grunts while releasing into you, his dick twitching and spraying your insides with white.

He pulls out as hot, white cum spills from your pussy. You take this moment to catch your breath and relax your legs. However, Jaemin coats his two fingers and shoves the cum back into you. “Jaemin!” You exclaim at the sudden intrusion.

He curls them into your plushy walls and finger fucks you into another oblivion. “Wait, again?” Your hands wrap around his wrist, but Jaemin moves too fast for you to catch it.

You’re a moaning mess again, louder than before. Jaemin leans down and flicks his tongue against your overstimulated bundle of nerves. Your back arches automatically and a low animalistic scream rises from your throat.

He observes your body lines underneath the moonlight and the last remaining light the broken street lamps have to offer. Your face contours and you’re so far out into ecstasy that you don’t notice how intensely Jaemin watches you lose yourself.

“It feels too good!” With one last thrilling orgasm, you almost pass out and you see small stars of dizziness. He soaks up every last bit of your cathartic reaction and festers a small sense of pride that he can make you feel all this pleasure.

“Such a good girl. You’re beyond impressive, baby.” Jaemin pulls his fingers out to lick them clean and finds some wipes to help you out of your sticky situation.

“Now that you’re my girlfriend, can we cuddle at any time now? Not just as after care.” He peers up at you and the one word enacts a burning warmth to spread across your chest. That is the best nickname he can call you by.

“I think the Singles Girls Only house event is still going on, but after that, yes a million times.” You laugh and wrap your arms around him into a big loving hug.

Jaemin feels right at home. All the long years of living carelessly and wild, he’s finally found someone worth the extra mile. While Jaemin was a thriving adventure to be explored, you were his comfort to run back to.

It is through the intimacy of your backseat chronicles that Jaemin was able to fall deeper for you. You’re his lucky charm, for some reason, he always feels better around you.

#neosmutcollective #neowritingsnet #nct-writers #kpopscape #neothestars #nct scenarios #nct smut #jaemin #nct #jaemin smut #jaemin scenarios #na jaemin #nct dream #nct dream scenarios #nct dream smut #nct imagines #nct dream series #ridinclub

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captnjacksparrow · 3 years ago

Note

In modern aus people always portray the characters as white and American :/. In this one story i read they have white naruto and say sasuke looks "vaguely asian". Why use the word vaguely even. Sometimes the rest of the characters are white and sasuke's the only one who is Japanese. I would prefer modern aus based in Japan because their names aren't American at all. I always wonder why specifically America too. How would you deal with ethnicity if you wrote a modern story?

I wrote a post about 'Why I am not interested in FanFic' and hasn't posted yet... Because this 'Ethnicity' thing was also one of the reason but I was so conflicted about whether to include it.

Thanks to this Ask, I am not the only one.

[[Disclaimer: This post is not about bashing the Fic writers from the West. This is more about me, as a Reader, feeling extremely Disconnected because of the way Naruto and Sasuke were being characterized without having a single cultural reference to where they are from. The Author himself has said, “This is a Japanese Manga written for Japanese Readers...” Also, the manga was drenched with so many of their cultural references. And when I don’t find any of them in the Fics... that’s where it gets total awkward.]]

The thing is.. Male Friendships in Asian media always. like always have a nuance. Most of the times, the Characters involved don’t even talk about themselves ALL THE TIMES. They mostly talk about something else (like their life problems) and argue about that at a good length... Or even when they talk about themselves for the major part, there is always some conversational playfulness/sentimentality involved in it... (not always in a sexual way though). Chapter 698 says Hi.

However, when you take a Western Gay movie, for ex... Broke back Mountain... Whenever they get together for every 3 or 4 years... They talk about their wives and mostly about themselves, they fight and then they go intimate... Even in some Lesbian movies, this is the same case... The amount of dialogue between 2 characters is veryyyyyy less... This is the same pattern I see in SNS fics as well... Like, they behave like American Characters....

That’s my whole problem.

Where is the Real conversation, Damn it????

Let me just shamelessly pull out a scene from another Asian novel and show how conversation can be done between 2 characters... I changed the Original character names with Naruto and Sasuke...

Imagine, Naruto and Sasuke were in a mission... They went to have a drink... But Sasuke is a bad drinker.. He can’t even consume more than 1 glass. But Naruto is a good one... And hence he wants to pull some pranks with Sasuke during this drunken conversation... [[Mind you... They are not in relationship, yet... And Sasuke was crazy drunk so he won’t speak much]]

And, Sasuke was so honest after he was drunk. His actions and comments were also… bolder! Since this was a rare occasion to see such an honest, open Sasuke, it would've been impossible for Naruto to treat him with respect and not play any tricks.

Naruto used his sleeves to wipe off the drops of water on Sasuke’s jaw and put his arms around him, "Sasuke. Now, are you going to do whatever I tell you to do?"

Sasuke, "Mnn." Naruto, "You'll answer whatever I ask you?" Naruto put one knee on the bed and smirked, "Okay. Let me ask you. Have you… secretly tasted the Wine that you hid in your room?" Sasuke, "No." Naruto, "Do you like Cats?" Sasuke, "Yes." Naruto, "Have you ever lied before?" Sasuke, "Yes." Naruto, "Have you ever liked anyone?" Sasuke, "Yes." All of Naruto’s questions were just for the sake of them, not that he really wanted to find out about Sasuke’s private matters. He simply wanted to know whether or not Sasuke would really answer whatever he asked.

Naruto continued, "How about Sakura-chan?" A frown, "Hmph." Naruto, "How about Karin?" Indifference, "Huh." Naruto grinned and pointed at himself, "How about this one?" Sasuke, "Mine." "…" Sasuke stared at him, slowly and articulately stating, "Mine." Naruto suddenly understood. He took Kusanagi sword off his back, thinking to himself, When I pointed at myself, Sasuke probably thought that "this one" meant Kusanagi.

I adore this scene, tbh. [[Don’t tell me that you didn’t smile after reading this scene]]

Look how big the conversation goes and how Naruto was just being playful and wants to troll Sasuke.

Even in Boruto movie, When Sasuke went to meet Naruto in the Hokage office, they were conversing about Boruto and having a decent Conversation.

Or take that scene, where Naruto confessed under the Bridge... He was talking a lot... Before that we’ve never seen him talk much to Sasuke like that.

Or take that scene where Shikamaru went to Naruto’s house to knock some sense in him after Jiraiya’s death.

This is what I call it as conversational nuance which I find consistently in most of the Asian media. I don’t see these types of conversation in fanfics at all. And even if they talk, they talk nothing other than how to Kiss, Hug and Segs. SMH.

I would prefer modern aus based in Japan because their names aren't American at all. I always wonder why specifically America too.

Well, Most of the Authors are from America... And that’s why I guess (???). My problem is not their ethnicity... It’s just that I can’t see Ennis or Jack conversing like how Naruto or Sasuke were conversing in the Above drunken scene. And somehow fic writers are not getting this nuance. That’s why Doujinshis have their characterization better. Because they are from Japan, China or Taiwan.

How would you deal with ethnicity if you wrote a modern story?

Simple. I would

Watch Movies or TV series or Read other Mangas of the same Genre related to the Country where it was created or

Read the Author’s notes that was written in the Back page of his manga or

Read their Fanfics/Doujinshis and see how they portray N and S in modern AU. Because they know better as to how to portray those characters with their own cultural reference.

By doing one/all of the above, You are Guaranteed to find some relation with the Original Material.

For Example,

This is Kishimoto’s notes from Naruto Manga. Chapter 67.

He was talking about his very strict dad. LOL. And his generosity of his Friends.

Didn’t I say the same thing that Asian Kids prefer being around their Friends and Siblings more than their Parents???? Here, Kishi was also doing the same. Knowing that his parents wont buy the stuff he wanted, his immediate resort is his Brother... And then his Friends.

What’s interesting to me is, Kishi is mentioning that the word��“Game” should not be breathed in his House... Otherwise his father would start to lecture him to go study... Why am I not surprised???... LMAO... And I was like, “No way Kishi, my dude!!!”.

Because he literally emulated that attribute of his Dad and gave it to Mikoto and Fugaku. LOL...

“Home Work!”

Just like Kishi... Sasuke also wants to play... And Just like Kishi’s Dad, Mikoto is lecturing about Home Work...

This Importance to Education is what I’ve been saying all along in the Fugaku Character analysis I’ve wrote sometime ago.

And if you read their Doujinshis, you could find a lot of cultural references. There is this Doujin named, “Yotsudake” written in modern day. I swear, that’s one of the best fluff Modern AU doujin I’ve came across with tons of Cultural Reference. Yotsudake means A Classical dance from Okinawa (Japanese prefecture).

Read the Doujin here and you’ll see what I mean and how this above picture relates to the Story. [[Arrrgh... Sasuke smiles a lot in this Doujin...]]

So, If I ever write a story by keeping the ethnicity factor in my mind... I would definitely do all of these I mentioned above like watching movies, Author notes, Read articles and make it faithful to the adaptation rather than whitewashing with my own cultural flavour with it.

The Author literally said that, the Manga was bathed with Japanese Cultural references... Is it wrong of me to expect the same in Fics as well???

I am not accusing the other country fic writers in any way. It’s just that, if they can expend their energy into writing 50 chapter long fic about Naruto/Sasuke.. It would be nice if they could make it even better by introducing these cultural nuances. I mean nobody is asking them to Go to Japan and understand these things... It’s just that they need to put some extra effort to research within the available resources they have, is more than enough. Like for a start, How about making the Characters to talk more about anything other that segggssss... Is it so hard???

#narusasu #sasunaru #sns #nsn #fandom critical

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pascalpanic · 4 years ago

Text

Sweet Talk (Din Djarin x afab!Reader)

Summary: Din can’t hold back anymore, and decides to start flirting with you. Too bad he’s awful at it.

W/C: 3.5K

Warnings: lots of flirting, lots of innuendos, SMUT 18+, unprotected p in v sex (wrap it before you tap it, kiddos), fingering, squirting, cream pie... language? yeah uh there’s a lot. Reader is afab but no pronouns or gendered pet names are used. lots of dirty talk.

A/N: AAAAAAAA this was a request for @notabotiswear!! I hope you guys all like it, this is my first Din smut and I was rlly nervous bc uh Din smut is obviously something big in this fandom and I wasn’t sure if I’d characterize it properly. but here we are!

You don’t know what Din looks like under his helmet, but you think he must be smirking. There’s no way the man wouldn’t be, not with the words he just said to you.

You’ve been travelling with Din and his little green son for a while now. You’d brought everything good to the beskar man’s life the moment you met. You made him eat more, drink more water. The presence of another human on the ship encouraged Din to bathe more and to keep the ship tidier. All in all, things had massively improved when you entered Din Djarin’s life.

One specific perk brought relief: you were extremely in touch with The Force. So was the tiny little green bean. From you, Din had finally learned his son’s name. He didn’t really like the way Grogu rolled off the tongue, however, so he generally stuck to calling him what he had before. Your ability to communicate with Grogu made things like bedtime and baths much easier, and everything went smoother.

Yes, you were a Force user. Ever since you were a child, you’d had a special sensitivity to that force that flowed all around you. Even though Din was not aware of The Force, nor was he able to use it or speak with it, the energy of The Force made the man practically glow. You understood why Grogu liked him so much. The man radiated it, warm energy that seemed unnatural for a bounty hunter. Once you got to know him, it all made sense. His aura was indescribable, really, but it was fitting. He was a good man at his core. He was kind and even funny sometimes.

Let’s return to the present: Din Djarin just pulled a cheesy pickup line on you, and it made you stare at him with an expression of sheer confusion, even though you could feel your cheeks warm from his words. “What the fuck did you just say to me?” You ask, placing your hands on your hips.

He looks up at you and cocks his head to the side. “I said that I may not be able to feel the Force, but I wish I could feel you.”

Your mouth hangs open, trying to press down a giggle that rises in your throat. “Din, what the fuck?” You finally laugh, grinning. “That’s the worst pickup line I’ve ever heard. No wonder you’re single,” you shake your head. “Where is this coming from?”

Din’s last reserve has broken. He’s been planning this for days, planning the way he’d finally tell you everything he thinks. “Just… I wasn’t listening to you at all. Was looking at your face. You’re gorgeous, you know that?” He asks you, the black T-visor staring you down.

You frown as you see your own reflection in the shining beskar. “I wish I could say the same about you,” you tease and tap your fingers on the metal helmet he wears. “What do you look like under there? Can you tell me?”

“Why, so you can make fun of it?” Din rolls his eyes.

“No, so I can finally put a face to the man I think about at night,” you tease, leaning in closer. It’s instinctual, like you’re leaning in so he can kiss you. He obviously can’t, not with that damn helmet on his head that you know isn’t coming off any time soon.

Din’s breath catches in his throat. “Oh come on,” you smirk at him. “Two can play at that game, Din. What do you look like?” You ask, tracing your fingers across the indents of his helmet and down to his neck. “Can I see your skin?” You ask in a low, quiet voice.

Din nods. You pull the neck of his clothing down to reveal a patch of gorgeous, caramelly skin. “Oh,” you mumble before you can stop yourself. “I bet you have brown eyes, don’t you? With brown hair too, since your skin is this dark. Am I right?”

His breath is heavy now. “Yeah,” he rasps out through the modulator. You press a soft kiss to his skin, feeling how warm and soft it is.

A shiver runs through his body, making the skin prick up beneath your lips. “Oh. So you meant it when you were flirting,” you giggle, sitting back upright and looking at him. “Well, you’re gonna have to win me over the hard way, Mando. Flirting is how people usually do it, I’ve heard,” you tease and pat his helmet as you stand and make your way out of the cockpit.

His aura has changed. It radiates further, sucks in more energy and pushes more out, all at a quicker speed. If it had a color, it would be a deep pink. “You want me too, don’t you, cyare?” Din asks, voice low and husky.

“You’ll have to figure that out yourself, Din,” you laugh and make your way over to your little green child to wake him from his nap.

“Grogu,” you sing softly, and the little thing stirs beneath his absurd amount of blankets. Those big eyes blink open and he makes a little grunt of effort. “I know, baby boy. So sleepy,” you coo and lift him from his cradle. He cuddles into your chest contentedly. “Good morning, snugglebug,” you mumble and press a kiss to his head.

Your back is to the ladder, but you can hear Din climbing down. His feet hit the floor. “I’ve been thinking about you for so long,” he tells you. His voice is even deeper, raspier than the modulator makes it sound. “That body… you don’t know what you’ve unleashed by saying tha-”

You turn, holding Grogu in your arms. Din’s demeanor shifts. “Oh. Uh, hi buddy. Can he understand me?” he asks. He knows sometimes the child can, but not always. Not when he uses different words.

You shake your head, reading the baby’s energy. He’s too sleepy to comprehend anything. “No, he can’t. But really, is that so?” You ask, popping a hip and resting a hand on it.

Din nods. “I’ve always loved the color of your eyes. Have I mentioned that?” You shake your head. “Really, they’re so beautiful.”

That makes you genuinely smile up at him. “Din,” you coo and place a hand on one of the indents of his helmet. “Is there a way you can remove the helmet and I can’t see it that’s legal with The Creed? Like, if my eyes were closed, could you do it?”

He nods. “Yes. As long as you don’t see my face.”

You smile a little. “Good to know,” you nod and walk away, the baby in your arms.

The day continues like that, the two of you trading compliments and pick up lines, shamelessly flirting around the Crest. You cook dinner and Din comments that it smells nearly as good as you. Din fixes something mechanical and you comment that those fingers would feel really good somewhere else.

There’s a palpable tension between the two of you for the rest of the night. You and Din dance around each other, sneaking touches of the other’s arm or hand or back. He compliments you and you flirt right back.

When Grogu finally yawns, it’s like the Maker themself sent it. Din hurriedly puts the baby to bed, and finds you in the cockpit after, sitting in his chair. The pilot’s chair. “Din,” you sing-song to grab his attention.

“What?”

You look at him with purpose for a second, then close your eyes. Sitting up a little. Referring to what you said earlier- Din can remove his helmet if you can’t see his face. He can kiss you. You can touch his face, feel him. “I promise they’ll stay closed,” you tell him.

You can hear him breathe through the modulator of his helmet for a moment, then there’s a soft sound of the helmet being removed. Finally, there’s a clank of the helmet being set on the floor. When it’s just your little family of three on the ship, Din omits the full beskar regalia. Nevertheless, you can hear the soft noise of his knees hitting the floor. In front of you. “Can I kiss you?” He asks.

His real voice is like a song. It’s nowhere near as low, though it’s still a bit deep, a bit raspy. It’s beautiful, so quintessentially Din, and you nod with a small smile. “That’s why they’re closed, stupid,” you tease.

One of Din’s calloused hands finds the side of your face. He pulls it down a little, for his kneeling height, and kisses you. Slowly. His lips are warm and soft, surprisingly soft, against your own. You break away from him for a second, your eyes still squeezed tightly shut as if you may accidentally open them. “Can I touch your head?” You ask.

In response, Din takes your hands and puts them on either side of his face. It allows you to feel the stubble beneath your fingertips, the warm skin. “You have a beard,” you giggle softly.

“All the better if my face is between your legs, right?” He chuckles. It’s just so fucking perfect and real, the way his laugh sounds without the helmet. As much as you’re enjoying the sound, the words that his voice formulates make you gasp a little and shudder. “You want that?” He asks you, lips finding your neck and kissing it slowly.

“Goddamn,” you mumble. “No, Din, I wanna fuck you tonight. Can we? Will you keep your helmet off if I promise not to look?” You ask, voice desperate. You clutch the back of his head, digging your fingers into the thick hair there- it’s wavy, you can tell. “Maker, I’ve wanted you for so fucking long.”

Din makes a little noise of affirmation into your neck. “Yeah,” he nods. “Even better, just wait,” he says, pulling away and putting the helmet back on. “You can look again.”

You do, seeing just your reflection in his helmet. “Where do you want me, baby?” You murmur to him, a hand on the side of his helmet.

Baby. No one has ever called Din that before. He’s heard it a million times, in crowded cantinas, between lovers. Between two people who cared for each other. You two cared for each other, he supposes. Obviously, or you wouldn’t be in this situation. The thought of the word makes Din pause for a moment.

“Hello? Din, what’s in there?” you tease and rap on the helmet with a fist.

You can’t see it but he’s absolutely beaming beneath his helmet, overjoyed. “Where do you want me? In the bunk? In the chair?”

You lean in and smirk, your eyes reflected in the black visor. “Where have you dreamed of having me most?” You whisper, and you swear you can see the beskar-clad man shudder.

“My bunk. Get undressed and lie down for me,” he tells you, already climbing down from the cockpit and motioning with his head for you to follow. You nod excitedly and climb down after him.

Din is looking for something, though you’re unsure of exactly what. You remove your top and pants, and start to move to remove your breastband before two large hands find your bare sides.

Din has returned, and he turns you around. He looks down at you with a long and thin strip of dark fabric in his hand, and you shudder. “Is that what I think it is?” You ask, hands finding the sides of his breastplate.

As you start unlatching his armor, Din nods. “You can undress me, then I’ll put it on and remove my helmet,” he tells you.

You smile a little as you start removing his beskar, tossing it to the side onto a discarded cape. It still makes a soft clunk, but it’s not enough to wake Grogu, thank the Maker. Once the metal is gone, your hands run over his flight suit, allowing you to feel the strong muscles beneath them.

“Din,” you murmur, unzipping the front. It exposes his bare chest, his tan skin with dark hair across it. He’s muscular, of course; as a bounty hunter must be. His arms are just as strong as you push the sleeves off of his shoulders, then push the waist down.

He doesn’t wear underwear. Of course he doesn’t, it would be impractical you suppose, but it exposes Din’s surprisingly large dick. You bite your lip as you look down at it, at how hard and needy it already is. You give it a slow stroke and Din groans. “Alright mesh’la. Let’s get that off of you,” he says and lifts your arms, pulling off the breastband.

After that, he shoves your underwear down and you step out of them, kicking them to the side. “Fuck,” he grunts at how beautiful you look, naked before him. Din pushes you back until your ass meets the end of his bunk and he lifts you to sit on the edge.

He spreads your legs and stands between them, his cock pressing against your dripping folds. “Fuck, you’re so wet, and it’s for me?” He chuckles with hardly any air in his lungs.

“Of course I am. So fucking sexy,” you murmur as you let your face fall forward into his chest, kissing at the skin and working a mark into his pec. You pull away and sit back, giving him a little room. “Okay, put it on me. Please. I just wanna kiss you,” you admit, closing your eyes preemptively.

He nods and wraps the cloth around your eyes, using his deft fingers to knot it behind your head. It’s snug, but not too tight. “You do this often?” You tease, resting your hands on his wrists.

He shakes his head. “Never have. Always kept the helmet on. You’re just…” he pauses as he removes his helmet, “something special,” he sighs, finally kissing you again.

You wrap your arms around his neck and pull him tight against you, wrapping your legs around his waist as well. “Din… should’ve said something sooner. Would’ve done anything for you,” you sigh as his lips find your jaw and then your neck, slowly tracing his tongue across your collarbone.

He makes a little grunt. “Sorry,” he chuckles. “Let me make it up to you,” he mumbles as he cups your face and kisses you again, his tongue running along the seam of your lips. “Can I do this, baby? Will you let me fuck you?”

The word again. Baby. It slipped from Din’s lips this time, before he could stop himself. He really really likes you, so much so that he can hardly contain it. He’s never been one for names in bed, degrading or praising, but he’s never going to stop calling you his, his baby.

You whine softly and break the kiss. “Please, Din. Fuck me, wreck me,” you nod before reaching out to where you find his face.

While you trace the stubble of his jaw, one of Din’s thick fingers slips into your folds. He shudders at how wet you are, tracing a finger up and down through the wet skin. “Mm, fuck,” he groans softly as the pad of his middle finger masterfully finds your clit. He rubs small circles into it, causing your head to fall forward into his shoulder.

“Please, please,” you whine, your walls clenching around nothing. “Fuck me already, baby,” you plead with Din, gripping his hips now.

“Relax, cyare,” he murmurs and kisses your neck. With the helmet on, he rarely gets to experience anything pleasurable with his mouth. Your skin is so soft and warm beneath his lips, his tongue, and he just has to bite at it. Din nibbles at your earlobe, feeling himself grow harder. “Let me take my time with you.”

“I’ve waited so long for you, Din. Please don’t make me wait,” you beg, slowly stroking his cock. A bead of precum forms on the tip and you swirl it around the head with the pad of your thumb.

Din can’t hold back anymore. He pushes your hand away and lines himself up to you with the free hand, two fingers circling your clit now. “You ready for me?” He groans.

“Yes, just fuck me,” you whimper and grab both sides of his head, pulling him to kiss you. It’s deep and hot and it grows sloppy as Din pushes into you, splitting you open on his deliciously thick cock. “Fuck,” you cry out at the sensation.

“You think you feel good?” He shivers and barely breathes out. “Feel so fuckin’ good around me, so hot and wet,” he shudders.

Din’s still standing, and he has more leverage as he thrusts all the way in, then pulls nearly all the way out. “Lay back,” he orders you, and you comply.

His second thrust is even deeper than the first as he pulls one of your legs over his shoulder, allowing him to already hit the deep spot inside of you. You whine and he smirks. “There we go. Good job, baby, keep making those noises for me,” he insists as he starts thrusting in and out of you.

He’s fucking good at this. It’s no surprise really, the way he knows your body masterfully. It’s almost as if you’re using The Force to guide him, but he’s just that fucking skilled. His tip drags against that sweet spot against you with every thrust, and Din pulls your hips to his with one hard thrust.

It’s so hot, the sound of Din’s skin slapping into yours, the way the skin of his thigh drags against yours. “Fuck,” you cry out as he presses his fingers a little harder against your clit, making the circles he draws slower and more deliberate.

“Knew you’d sound so good,” he grunts. “Knew you’d love it when I’m fucking you. When I get to take you like this. Don’t you?”

“Yeah,” you nod frantically. “I wish I could see you.”

“I know, cyare,” Din assures, even though his voice is breathless and strained. “Come on, baby, you feel so close, don’t you? I can feel it, the way your walls are getting tighter around me. You gonna be good and cum on me? I think you can.”

His words are just as arousing as his actions. “I will, please, I can feel it, just keep going and don’t stop,” you whimper. You take one of his hands, lacing his fingers through yours.

Din smiles at the gesture. It’s soft, intimate. He likes it as much as he loves the way you call him baby. “That’s my good baby,” he nods and pulls your hips a little off of the bunk, so that anything that spills from you will collect on the metal floor instead of the mattress.

It grows and grows in the pit of your stomach, and you can feel it. It’s coming and it’s coming hard. “Din, Din please,” you whine, one leg wrapping tight around his hip. “Fuck, I’m gonna,” your voice barely manages out before it washes over you, the feeling flowing through your body like a high in your veins. “Din,” you cry out as you cum, toes curling from the intensity. It spills from you, all over Din’s cock, dripping onto the floor.

“Oh, good job, cyare, fuckin’ Maker, you feel so good,” he groans. “I’m not gonna last much longer. Can I cum in you?” He asks, still checking up on you.

You nod. “Please, please baby,” you groan and squeeze the hand you’re holding tight. “Need to feel it.”

He nods too, though you can’t see it. “Okay, okay, I-“ a strangled cry comes from deep within his throat as he finally lets go, his cum pushing deep inside of you. “Fuck,” he murmurs, interjected by shouts of your name.

The both of you come down later, panting and covered in sweat. Din pulls out and a little bit of his cum drips from you, joining your own release on the floor. It’s so fucking hot that Din nearly cums again. “Stay right there,” he tells you, gently stroking your hip. “Don’t take the blindfold off.”

He comes back a few moments later with a damp rag, cleaning you up before cleaning up the mess the two of you made on the floor. He puts it with the laundry then climbs into the bed next to you, cuddling into your side. “Fuck, Din,” you giggle and press a kiss to whatever skin is in front of your face- his jaw. “You’re good at that.”

“Just felt so good,” he chuckles too. “You’re fantastic. I like it when you call me baby,” he admits.

You grin. “Then I’ll have to call you it all the time, baby,” you chuckle and kiss his lips softly. “Din?”

“Yes, ner k’arta?”

“Can we sleep like this?” You ask. “I promise I won’t look at your face or sneak anything, I mean it.”

Din chuckles quietly. “Of course we can. I trust you.”

You give a happy little noise and cuddle into his warm body, his strong arms surrounding you. “I like this. You’re so cuddly,” you admit with a small laugh.

“We can do this anytime you like,” he laughs too, kissing your forehead. “Whenever, wherever. If it’s with you, I’ll do anything.”

@remmysbounty @mishasminion360 @softly-sad @blo0dangel @luxurybeskar @binarydanvvers @sleep-tight1 @apascalrascal @randomness501 @spideysimpossiblegirl @notabotiswear @pedro-pastel @sanchosammy @lv7867

#din djarin #din djarin x reader #the mandalorian fic #the mandalorian x reader #the mandalorian #mando x reader #mando #pedro pascal #jose pedro balmaceda pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal x reader #pascalpanic

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bunny-hoodlum · 3 years ago

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Runner's High Total Rewrite - First Chapter Preview:

He doesn't want to be here.

Across from him is a cute girl. Eh, cute enough. She's slim and pale with a buttermilk blonde hime cut. She scoffs like a prima-donna at the conversation triangulating around them.

She lost interest in him about thirty minutes ago, but even when her time has been wasted, she chooses to stay.

She's the lonely type. He can tell.

"Shouldn't you be drinking?" teases another girl beside him as she leans a little too heavily against his right arm.

His first pint sits untouched.

A silent protest to his being dragged here.

He knows he has to try. Two-and-a-half months into his freshman year at Uni and he has not had a single crush nor hookup.

Even his fellows at The National Society of Minorities in Hospitality organization were no longer buying his 'serious student' excuse. The worst of their workload has yet to arrive, after all.

A sharp jab in his left rib and Naruto glared at the asshole both responsible for the newly forming bruise and his forced participation.

Apathetic black eyes glanced at him, then glanced at his beer.

'Drink,' his eyes said.

Naruto fought the urge to roll his eyes as he grasped his beer glass and put the rim to his lips.

He chugged the amber brew, earning the attention of those around him, their expressions mildly impressed.

His legs itched to stretch, to move, to take him away from here.

He's normally not this sour, at least not publically, and not around strangers he would otherwise care enough to charm long enough to become a warm spot in their hearts.

He's the lonely type, too.

Being more important to them than they'll ever be to him is kind of one of his many quirks.

But no amount of alcohol nor promise of nubile pussy could incentivize him to give a single shit tonight.

Because he didn't want to fucking be here.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Naruto exited the restroom with only one thing on his mind.

He breezed through the roar of conversation from their private room as he passed by. Whatever had been so funny, it sounded stupid.

He snuck outside the restaurant, the late night March air biting his nostrils as he breathed it in deep.

He regretted not leaving earlier when Sasuke came out shortly after, flanked by two girls, his arms draped around their shoulders.

"You wanna choose? Or do you want them to choose?" Sasuke bit out, his brusque impatience earning a full-teethed snarl.

"Fuck you. No one asked."

"Alright," Sasuke turned his question to the girls. "Which one of you wants to get along with this dumbass?"

"Hmmm," they both hummed facetiously.

The girl on Sasuke's left stepped out from underneath and approached Naruto. She poked the tribal scars etched thinly across his cheek, grinning childishly, betraying how drunk she really was.

"Does kiiitty wanna play with my kiiitty?"

Naruto wrenched his head away from her touch, irritation painting his face an ugly red.

Without a word, and there were plenty spinning poisonously in his head, he turned away and took his leave.

"You sure?" Sasuke's voice carried across the length of businesses as Naruto put more distance between them. "Dobe, c'mon."

Naruto flipped Sasuke his middle finger, raising it high in the air for him to see.

He doesn't have a fucking problem.

He doesn't need to be fixed.

He has a type.

Just like everyone else.

He thought Sasuke would be one to understand.

Otherwise he wouldn't have fucking told him.

Naruto hasn't met Hinata yet. I wrote him moody here so that when he meets her, it's like his whole world is fresh and new.

Also, the student-run org that Naruto is a part of is just one I chose out of several on the UNLV website in relation to his major. 🤷 He's also part of the Hi no kuni Hotel & Lodging Association. Idk about the other orgs. There's Epicurean, Wine tasters... I guess Epicurean would be a good final fit for him. 😅

Anyways!✨😎

Same premise, new elements, shifted characterizations, changed order of events, etc. Definitely going to be more like my usual writing and less digestible prose-wise than the original version. 🤔

I totally wish I had just posted OG Runner's High on here at first, like with AWY, but oh wells. 😅

#runner's high the rewrite #naruhina #naruhina fanfiction #snippet #modern au

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bestworstcase · 3 years ago

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You literally made a language, made its fucked up classical form, THEN WROTE A WHOLEASS POEM IN SAID CLASSICAL FORM. Are you aware of the power you wield?

i stared into the abyss and the abyss stared back anyway here's how to write a saporian lágha:

twelve lines of six syllables, divided into two stanzas of six lines each

the first stanza (the nȉtȧnē) is five lines in iambic trimeter followed by a single line of trochaic trimeter, and the second stanza (the càidh) reverses that, so five lines in trochaic trimeter followed by a final line in iambic trimeter. so the metrical structure of the lágha is:

uS/uS/uS uS/uS/uS uS/uS/uS uS/uS/uS uS/uS/uS Su/Su/Su

Su/Su/Su Su/Su/Su Su/Su/Su Su/Su/Su Su/Su/Su uS/uS/uS

[because fuck you that's why]

no rhyme scheme because i'm not a fucking sadist, but i think if there were a rhyme scheme it'd be ab c ab d ba c ba d (i think sorchā def wrote a rhyming lágha using that scheme once just to prove she could, but--well i'd say i'm not going to torture myself to write it but i also used to say i absolutely would not write any actual poetry in actual saporian and then the urge hit and here we are

the nȉtȧnē introduces a thought or idea which is then defended or interrogated in the càidh, following the loose thematic structure of either statement-and-proof or thought-and-reversal; the càidh is an unfolding of or elaboration on the nȉtȧnē, and i think there is a style of lágha heavily identified with sorchā (thus: the sorchān lágha) that is characterized mainly by the càidh being witheringly cynical hsdkfb

ideally the development of the idea from the nȉtȧnē to the càidh is done through wordplay/creative composition/double entendre/punning (esp with contrastive stress, although that is. a lot harder in english than in saporian hsdbhkgs) or using a device i have tentatively decided to call linguistic obversion which is a thing you can do in saporian that involves taking a word (e.g. pàta /ˈpæta/ "skin, flesh") and negating it in a way that implies not the opposite but rather the removal or failure or loss of the root word (e.g. lȧpàta /laˈpæta/ "hide, leather, vellum" but literally "skin/flesh that was flayed away")--saporian is a very flexible and malleable language that lends itself to taking a word or phrase and totally unravelling it and reweaving it into a new context and that is i think the Essence of what the lágha is about.

which makes them goddamn hard to write in english hsdkbhks the amount of time i spent banging my head against the keyboard trying to figure out a way to translate cȧthȅthīrȧdāchēs without losing the essence of its meaning or breaking the meter was too much. bc that word is like—ok it's a triple compound:

cathay+ȅthīr+adách-[locative case] = cȧthȅthīrȧdāchēs

cathay means carcass and ȅthīr means a quarry or pit or other manmade hole in the ground, so cȧthȅthīr pretty straightforwardly means "corpse-pit" or maybe "catacomb"

but adách is a bound root that can mean all sorts of things depending on what grammatical case you attach to it; as a root it loosely means "given shape" and belongs to a family of words that can, broadly, refer to both sculpture and education with specific meaning being largely dependent on context. so adách can mean:

- "pedagogy"/"sculpture" in the nominative case [adáchȧ] - also in the accusative [adáchȧs]

but also:

- "pupil"/"statue" in the genitive or dative cases [adáchaegh/adáchan]

but also:

- "school"/"workshop" in the locative, lative, & ablative cases - [adáches, adáched, adáchet] positioning adách at the end of the compound allows it to receive the locative ending and makes it primarily read as "a place of learning"/"a place where statues are made" but also, the way nominal composition works in saporian is each noun in a compound functions as an adjective describing the preceding noun(s); so a very literal translation of cȧthȅthīr would be "carcasses, which have been dumped in a pit" and a very literal translation of ȅthīrȧdāchēs would be "a quarry, where things are given shape [sculpted and/or taught]", and thus a very literal translation of cȧthȅthīrȧdāchēs would be "carcasses, which are [statues/students/things given shape], and which have been dumped in the pit where other things are [given shape/sculpted/taught]"

so cȧthȅthīrȧdāchēs despite being literally just three nouns strung together can also function as a completed thought all by itself: you could translate this single word as "the university, a mass grave where individuality dies, as students are sculpted and molded like statuary until it kills them."

(this is how lágha get away with being so brief: you can say a hell of a lot in just seventy-two syllables if you're writing in a language that allows you to cram entire complex metaphorical sentences into a simple six-syllable compound word.)

which is all well and good but of course in english there just. isn't a good way to convey all of that in six syllables of iambic meter lmao "The girl thus/digs, and dies; among all/the corpse-pit effigies" is i think probably the closest i'm going to get without violating the meter. the reason i hate poetry is it gnaws on my brain like a goddamn terrier and refuses to let go

#bitter snow

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coffeeman777 · 4 years ago

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I have a question about a section of Hebrews which is in chapter 10. Its bout the willfully sin part and the concept of no more salvation of sins , I remember reading it initially and panicking about it. I internalized it and tired to not to commit a willful sin but I'm afraid that I might have since I then heard 'salvation of sins no more' i dont know what to do and I've been mulling over it extensively. I still have the desire to be with God and study the Bible properly. I'm very confused ;-;

Yeah, that bit in Hebrews 10, as well as a bit in Hebrews 6, has caused no small amount of difficulty for lots of Christians. It did for me as well, until an old teacher of mine straightened it out for me.

So, let's start by quoting the passage in question:

Hebrews 10:26-31

"26 For if we go on sinning deliberately after receiving the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins, 27 but a fearful expectation of judgment, and a fury of fire that will consume the adversaries. 28 Anyone who has set aside the law of Moses dies without mercy on the evidence of two or three witnesses. 29 How much worse punishment, do you think, will be deserved by the one who has trampled underfoot the Son of God, and has profaned the blood of the covenant by which he was sanctified, and has outraged the Spirit of grace? 30 For we know him who said, “Vengeance is mine; I will repay.” And again, “The Lord will judge his people.” 31 It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God."

Now, by itself, it seems very scary. Who among us hasn't deliberately sinned even a single time since we came to Christ? All of us have. But thankfully, this passage isn't saying that you can't be forgiven for sins committed after coming to Christ. If we compare Scripture with Scripture, this becomes clear. Here's a passage on the same subject from 1 John:

1 John 3: 4-10

"4 Everyone who makes a practice of sinning also practices lawlessness; sin is lawlessness. 5 You know that he appeared in order to take away sins, and in him there is no sin. 6 No one who abides in him keeps on sinning; no one who keeps on sinning has either seen him or known him. 7 Little children, let no one deceive you. Whoever practices righteousness is righteous, as he is righteous. 8 Whoever makes a practice of sinning is of the devil, for the devil has been sinning from the beginning. The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the works of the devil. 9 No one born of God makes a practice of sinning, for God's seed abides in him; and he cannot keep on sinning, because he has been born of God. 10 By this it is evident who are the children of God, and who are the children of the devil: whoever does not practice righteousness is not of God, nor is the one who does not love his brother."

So, the writer of Hebrews, then, isn't saying that any sin committed after coming to Christ can't be forgiven; he's saying that a person who makes a profession of faith in Jesus but then continues to live a life characterized by sin, who practice sin as a lifestyle, can't expect to have their sins covered by Jesus' sacrifice, and that they have nothing to look forward to but judgement. This is exactly what John is saying: regardless of what a person claims to believe, if a person is deliberately practicing sin, living a life characterized by unrepentant sin, that person is of the devil, and hasn't been born of God. Everyone who experiences the new birth repents from sins, abandons the sinful practices of their life before Jesus, and begins to worship God sincerely from the heart by obeying Him.

In other words, the writer of Hebrews, like John, is condemning false converts who refuse to repent of sins. Consider Jesus' warning in Matthew 7:15-23, or Paul's many warnings in his letters, like Romans 6, 1 Corinthians 6:9-13, and Galatians 6:7.

This is an ancient heresy called "antinomianism," literally the practice of lawlessness. This heresy is alive and well in the church today; any time you hear a supposed Christian say that sin isn't real, or that repentance is unnecessary, or that Jesus pays for our sins so we can keep sinning and God is cool with it, etc, that is this heresy. And it is damnable. Flee from it.

In Christ Jesus, Christians are saved completely. We are saved by grace, through faith, and not by works. Our good works can't save us, and they can't keep us saved. Once saved, a person is saved for good. This is absolutely true. The lie is that a person can pray a prayer for Jesus to save them once, and then they can run off into the world and live like the devil himself and still go to heaven. The truth is that real, genuine salvation necessarily changes you. When the Holy Spirit indwells you, your passions and desires are different. You don't want to sin; you want to please God. You don't want to be wicked; you want to be righteous, so that you can honor God with your whole life. You want to be clean, selfless, upright, and good, because you have been clothed in Christ's righteousness and justified by faith. Anyone who doesn't want to repent, who doesn't want to flee from sins and begin obeying God hasn't been saved, and they don't have the Holy Spirit. The people who think they're saved without repentance have been tricked, and unless they turn to Jesus for real, they aren't going to make it.

As for those who are genuinely in Christ, we do still struggle with the flesh. Sometimes we screw up. Sometimes we fail. But we hate it. We hate our sin, we mourn over it, and we really want to be free of it, and that desire is proved by our actions. We take real, grace-enabled steps to excise the sin from our lives. If we discover more sin, we repent. We live a lifestyle of repentance, confessing sins and abandoning them, striving every day for greater Christlikeness. This is proof we have the Holy Spirit in us, that we're saved: not that we're perfect, but that we have changed and are changing from darkness to light. And we have God's promise of mercy and grace along the way:

1 John 1:5-10, 2:1-6

"5 This is the message we have heard from Him and proclaim to you, that God is light, and in Him is no darkness at all. 6 If we say we have fellowship with Him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. 7 But if we walk in the light, as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin. 8 If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. 9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 10 If we say we have not sinned, we make Him a liar, and His word is not in us... My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous. 2 He is the propitiation for our sins, and not for ours only but also for the sins of the whole world. 3 And by this we know that we have come to know Him, if we keep His commandments. 4 Whoever says “I know Him” but does not keep His commandments is a liar, and the truth is not in him, 5 but whoever keeps His word, in Him truly the love of God is perfected. By this we may know that we are in Him: 6 whoever says he abides in Him ought to walk in the same way in which He walked."

Make sense?

#Hebrews 10 #1 John #Antinomianism #Repentance #Christianity #Salvation #Truth #Jesus

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wedreamedlove · 4 years ago

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MLQC Men Headcanon Notes

Now that I’ve spent more time with these men (it’s getting close to 2 years!) I wanted to share the general thoughts, themes, motifs, etc. that I keep in mind when I’m writing their character.

This is 1000% headcanon territory, so feel free to take what’s useful and ignore what’s not LOL but I’d also love to see people add in their own “character reference cheat sheet” to this!

(I’m especially curious because, due to being of Asian diaspora, I write best in English but my understanding of the characters come from CN/JP text). Incidentally, if anyone feels ANY of this when reading my fics, then that’s all I could ever ask for LOL.

LI ZEYAN

He is Capricorn² and, while the game doesn’t make explicit mentions to this, I associate the element earth with him because of this. He’s described with attributes like being steady, calm, and always in control. He is the epitome of an immovable boulder and things revolve around him, not the other way around. I like to draw on imagery of unbending steel and/or the stable ground.

Meanwhile, like the goat of his astrological sign, every step he takes to climb to his goal is assured. He doesn’t do anything spontaneous or without thought, so if he does lose control and act without thinking then it has to be a momentuous occasion. Basically, it’s really important to me that if I write a loss of control, then it’s likely to be the centerpiece.

Keeping in mind that his Evol is time control, I also like to try and subtly weave an atmosphere of how everything happens at his pace. Winter being his season only adds onto this because the world stills when it’s covered in snow; everything becomes muted, hushed, and slowed in this season.

The chemistry in his romance arc is how his pace and control gets disturbed, but he adapts quickly and learns to go along with these moments of whimsy. Or more like that’s his character development and how love changes him.

His canon (spirit) animal is the cat and lion. Felines go along very well with the emperor or noble archetypes he has in all his AU cards, because cats are stereotyped as being independent and haughty animals. He’s not big on PDA or excessive skinship, but he’s not disagreeable to them either. Too much stimulation and, like a cat, he’ll probably show exasperation. Ignore him for too long though and he’ll come to share his presence with you.

For me, his love is shown through quiet acts of service that don’t have any attention drawn to them. Him just being in the same room or giving his attention is how he emotes his love.

He’s quite low-key in his normal life so he doesn’t seem like someone who gets confused over commoner things, but there are also moments where he spends an enormous amount of money without blinking. If life can be made easier with money then why not, right?

Keywords: Calm. Steady. Earth. Immovable. Control. Exasperated Affection. Time. Cats. Literal Capricorn. Winter. Mature.

ZHOU QILUO

First thing that comes to mind is the sun and heat. Fire is his element and so I go for stereotypical imagery like flares of passion and burning bright. He switches expressions and moods at the drop of a hat and he’s a mood maker to the extreme, but there’s no hiding the way he shines with his love for his love.

However, because he’s also Helios, it’s really important for me to play around with dualities and explore the other side of this positive imagery. So, just like how the sun can bring warmth and life, it’s also a deadly laser something that can hurt people by blinding them or setting fires. It’s also fun to remember that the moon only has light from the sun’s reflection.

Game-wise, I believe Helios has been described with cold and ice imagery but, because I try to keep that imagery for Li Zeyan, what I like to consider instead is that extremely cold things can “burn” you too. Frostbite can also be called ice burn.

The sky is repeated imagery for Luoluo too, because of his eyes, but I’ll admit I’m still uncertain about how to interpret this for his character. Generally, the sky represents freedom but...? How I approach this is that the sky doesn’t discriminate and protects everyone below it (echoing his quote about how he protects the light in the dark).

On this note about the sky being welcoming, I view Luoluo’s love as one that accepts his love no matter what they’re like and he grows together with them (unlike the two adults, Li Zeyan and Xu Mo).

However, again, it’s super important to remember his duality and just because he’s a playful mood maker doesn’t mean he’s not able to switch into a serious and mature mode. He keeps his innocence and warm heart despite the darkness he’s seen and understands.

His canon animal is the bear which also makes me tilt my head. I can only see this as how bears are seen as both cuddly and cute, but also fierce and protective. He was also given a stag but... no one uses that LOL.

Keywords: Fire. Passion. Playful. Innocent. Little Sun! But Moon. Spring. Sacrifice. Darkness. Sky. Mischievous. Mood Maker.

BAI QI

Every single cell in his body is attuned to his love. You ever lose your phone and then, for the rest of the day, you feel as if you’re missing an important piece of yourself and you have intrusive thoughts wondering where it is? That’s him. You ever see something so cute you experience cute aggression and don’t know what to do with yourself? That’s him. You know those dogs that strain at their leashes on the streets because they want to go and greet you? That’s him.

It’s all about the yearning.

I know, I know, I wrote essays about how he can survive without his love and how he’s someone who carries both love and a greater justice BUT let’s not kid ourselves that he doesn’t revolve around his love like Jupiter around the sun.

Anyway, so the game shoves wind descriptions down our throats. It’s literally another vehicle for him to emote his love and, to be honest, I don’t do much with it other than use it for that. I talked about it extensively in my character essays, but I suppose I play with the irony of how he’s only free because he has a home can return to. [Loneliness SR Wind and Care Call] “Because I have a place for my heart, I can fly anywhere.”

I don’t believe the game emphasizes this any more than it does with the other men, but I try to always have a point of contact between Bai Qi and his love because, again, the yearning and vibrating with All That Love. He’s such a physical character (military archetype) that I also want to emphasize that in writing.

In addition, I’m all about him being the most feral of the men. Heck, his canon animal is the wolf which is great for both its stereotypical and non-stereotypical meanings, such as being a lone wolf and ferocious animal but also a pack animal that can’t survive on its own and needs a pack. Meanwhile, NW717 is described in-game as a monster.

Look, one of his signature descriptions in the game is resting his chin on or against his love’s head and nuzzling them. I’m not baselessly trying to push my kink I swear.

So, like how Bai Qi said in [Light Bath SSR: Tenderness Call] that maybe he only shows his gentleness towards select people (his love and mother), he’ll give the person he loves all the warmth of his being but, oh boy, I see him as being a beast who will remember his true nature upon being chained; the “chain” of love gives him the reassurance he needs to be truly free... in all its meanings.

Keywords: Ginkgo. Summer. Primal. Wind. Love is love is love. 3-Point Contact. Wolf. Yearning. Vitality. Justice. Freedom. Physical. Restraint.

XU MO

First, given how vocal I am about Elex’s changes, this is probably going to be the most drastically different section out of everyone vs. their English version.

Soft. Light. Gentle. Kind. Gossamery. Feathery. Ethereal. Faint. Whenever I write him, do I literally open up a thesaurus to find synonyms for gentle, light, and soft? Yup! LOL.

Fun fact, in CN and JP the word for “smile” and “laugh” is the same character and so sometimes there is ambiguity when translating if there’s no clear markers. The writers definitely had a word in mind when they wrote the scene, but unfortunately we don’t have the ability to check with them at every use and so sometimes it does come to subjective interpretation.

For me, Xu Mo is characterized by a lot of quietness. Game-wise, there are enormous usages of silence and descriptions of emotional fluctuations in his eyes so Significant Silences and Looks are a major thing with him and in my writing for him, which is why I always choose “smile” over “laugh” if there is any ambiguity in the line (I believe Elex leans towards chuckles).

On a similar note, the game also gives him a gigantic serving of descriptions that only ever use the word for “light, slight, faint, soft, gentle” in JP and CN. It gives him a very floaty and dreamy feeling, even if he’s doing something physical. So, it’s important for me to keep a similar atmosphere when writing and make everything feel as if it has to be shared in a whisper.

A bonus here is that it doesn’t require much to turn this ethereal feeling into a melancholic one, so you get that dash of angst that layers over everything. Leave a few things unknown here and there, incomplete actions, eyes that get averted and Boom. Angst.

Shifting gears, but if my imagery of Bai Qi’s love is like a tense, vibrating, and restrained chain of yearning then Xu Mo’s love is like a flood barely being held back by a dam. Knowledge of the quantity and weight behind the dam is terrifying, but it’s safe to be submerged inside it. Much like Luoluo and Helios, Xu Mo also has a dangerous duality in Ares and so I also like to play with this imagery.

So, on this point, I like to preserve an underlying sense of darkness (all-consuming possessiveness, etc.) and envision that he also wishes to stain his love in his colors, like a drop of ink on white paper and how it seeps into every fiber of the paper until the whole thing is saturated with him.

Incidentally, I’m reminded that—whenever possible and natural—I want to exclusively use water imagery with Xu Mo. The game supports this too! He is described with extensive water imagery and so I try to use water metaphors, analogies, and similes.

I try to make sure every sense is present, but I feel like the game emphasizes (especially with the red thread of fate imagery) that Xu Mo and his love are connected at a soul-deep level and so I always keep in mind a mental, emotional, and spiritual aspect.

Lastly, his canon animal is the fox (we ignore the black goat LOL) so contrasting his elegant, scholarly, and gentleman’s air with a black belly, teasing, and mischievous air is also important! Sexual but with, you know, class.

Keywords: Butterflies. Monochrome. Artist. Red Thread. Autumn. Melancholy. Water. Soft. Gentle. Light. Faint. Dreams. Spiritual. Fox.

LING XIAO

I’m getting more comfortable with him, but he’s still shrouded in so much mystery. If every one of the other men treat their loves with gentleness though Ling Xiao is definitely one who isn’t afraid of roughhousing. He’ll act first and then ask for forgiveness afterward, if needed.

But I like to keep in mind that, for all his roughness, he’s still a good kid at heart and when he saw MC’s skirt rising up when he tried to pull her over the fence he immediately stopped. So, a bit of a bully but without any humiliation.

Intelligent, strong, and dangerous but hiding all of that beneath a devil-may-care attitude and someone who does things on a whim. I don’t know what to do much with his canon animal being the shark except to attach it vaguely to this point and think that, as an apex predator of the sea, it does things at its own pace (somehow, it gives me the image that he likes to bite... but, uh, that’s probably just me LOL).

Keywords: Mercurial. Lightning. Sarcasm. Physical.

#love and producer #mlqc #mr love queen's choice #mlqc gavin #mlqc victor #mlqc lucien #mlqc kiro #mlqc bai qi #mlqc li zeyan #mlqc xu mo #mlqc zhou qiluo #love and produc(ing) meta

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