#These past few weeks have been so strange and just really jarring

[athymelyreply]

•

Semi vent post, more just confusion and speaking my thoughts, im fine with replies and stuff and if you can commiserate feel free to lmk if you want but also feel free to skip this post

[sofiareidings]

Coffee Runs

Summary: The guy who's been coming to the cafe you work at finally asked why you've never called him by his name.

A/N: I'm sorry this story is so late, especially since I missed Monday's post. School has been so busy this week and I've also had a bunch if extracurricular lately. I'll try and be more on time from now on (Don't hold me to that) Also! I got the idea for this one shot from @hanllo-kitty

Word Count: 0.8k

Song Suggestions: Invisible String - Taylor Swift

It was a good job, a great job really. The cafe was in a nicer part of town and people would subconsciously give nice tips so your pay was good. Rarely were customers terrible. Most people that came in were students or really busy people rushing in and going.

There were a few regulars. Like Joe, Joe was an eighty year old man who came in everyday for a coffee and a sandwich. While he waited he would talk about the lotto numbers and how his kids were doing. There was also Lola, she was a journalist who spent most of her day sitting in the corner of the cafe while refilling the same cup until closing.

But there was only one regular you would think about while getting ready for work.

Come on, I don't know his name. Don't shoot the messenger.

He'd been coming in for the past three months almost everyday, right after the cafe opened for a coffee. He always looked a little tired and acted like it too. He barely made conversation and normally shuffled out of the store in the same fashion as the other overworked people; quickly.

You hadn't learned his name yet. He always seemed to forget to say it when you asked, which resulted in you making up something.

"Guy with the sweater vest!"

"Guy in the purple!"

"Guy with the scarf!"

You get the point.

He was your favourite regular because of his looks. God, even when he was incredibly sleep deprived he looked beautiful. He had brown hair that fell just below his sharp jaw. Brown eyes that always happened to be in the light from the cafe window, making the small gold flakes in his eyes shine. He was normally dressed in a sweater vest and neutral pants, he probably worked at some type of office. The one part of him that stood out in his outfits were his converse, odd for the rest of his outfit. You could've sworn a few times you saw brightly coloured mismatched socks.

***

The sound of the cafe bell echoed through the nearly empty shop, having only opened half an hour ago. Smiling in the direction of the person walking in you quickly noticed it was 'Guy with *whatever he had on*" who came in. Something was different, he had thick glasses on. That was new.

"Hey, just the regular coffee and donut?" You put the order into the computer, looking back up at him. Taking in the new look.

"Yeah, thanks." His lips creased into a line, you called it a tired smile, the same one he made everyday. He handed over his money and poured the change into the tip jar then stepped back to wait for his order.

A couple minutes later you came back to the counter with his order. "Guy with the glasses!"

He did his usual, smiled and grabbed his order saying bye. But just when he reached the threshold of the door he paused and turned. "Why do you do that?"

Having already turned around you paused, this was the first time he'd talked to you in a clear voice. You weren't really sure what he meant. "Do what? Did I get your order wrong?"

He cleared his throat and seemed a little frustrated. "You never say my name, you just call me guy with something. Is it just to annoy me?"

"What? No, you've just never told me your name." Laughing a little, realising the misunderstanding.

"I didn't?" His face changed to confusion, "Oh my gosh, I didn't." He realised his mistake then his face flushed a shade of red.

"Don't worry, it's okay. Guy with the glasses." You laughed, looking around the cafe for a minute, strange it was still pretty empty.

"I am so sorry, I thought I told you and you just wanted to annoy me. I feel like a jerk, you seem so nice." Genuinely sorry he apologised profusely. "Can I make it up to you?"

Deciding to take the chance, you'd been daydreaming about this guy for months. "Well, maybe you could take me on a date." A little shocked by your own boldness, your face went up like twelve degrees.

"Uh, yeah…" He trailed off, clearly flustered. "Yeah, I would really like that."

"Well then, it's a date." You beamed, internally jumping up and down out of excitement. Since when were you so forward? He made that smile he made everyday before turning towards the door again.

That's when you realised.

"Wait!" You shouted, louder than you expected. Causing your coworker to drop a cup. "You still haven't told me your name."

"It's Spencer. I'll make sure to be back tomorrow." He nodded again and chuckled lightly before finally walking through the door.

God could tomorrow morning come any quicker.

[ashs-random-writing]

Mushroom Circles

Chapter two

Ao3

—

When an accidental blood sacrifice leaves him in a strange new world, Roman had to hide

Logan would like to know what has been eating all the fruit

—

Roman’s sleep schedule had become somewhat messy since landing in the realm of the faeries. He didn’t sleep at night, because that was when he ate and was able to have a little wander, and most of the day was dedicated to watching.

He only slept when he got too tired to stay awake

The nerdy faerie had been leaving the fruit on the ground for the past week, but Roman could see that it had noticed the fruit. He watched, a little more cautiously than usual, as it began to pack up. It looked down at the fruit that had fallen next to it this time

Roman watched it grab the strange fruit, and thought it might actually pick it up this time, like it did at first, but it instead rolled it across the ground, towards his hideout. He froze in place, and restrained himself from squeaking in alarm

Ok, so it might know where he was, that wasn’t too bad. It didn’t mean that it knew what he was, right? He was too hidden for it to know, right? Maybe it just saw the bite marks in the fruit and assumed he was a random animal? He hoped that was the case

He looked at the fruit that was now just outside his hideout and felt his mouth water. It was too far out and the sky wasn’t dark enough for him to risk going out to eat it, but he really wanted it. He considered risking it, but drew himself back and forced himself to think before making any impulsive decisions

That’s what got him into this.

He was in a strange fantasy land, where the main population seemed to be faeries (who were supposed to be the tiny ones, not him, why was he so tiny?). He knew that every fairy tale, every fantasy book, needed an antagonist, a source of danger and misdeeds, and he knew that that role wasn’t typically attributed to the guy with every disadvantage who got dragged into a different dimension

He needed to be cautious, for once in his life. He looked away from the fruit, and found that the nerdy faerie had left. But there were still faeries flying overhead, so he would still be taking a risk to eat. He sighed and retreated from the opening of the tunnel. Just ‘til it was dark, he promised himself, then he could have food.

He sat down and quietly hummed to himself. He was missing home quite badly, but he knew he had no reliable way to make it home. He sighed, bringing his knees up to his chest and resting his head on them. He stayed there for a while

Perhaps he could look out at the world outside of his tunnel, see if it was dark enough for him to eat. He peeked out of his tunnel.

There were very few faeries flying overhead but still a few too many to be able to eat. He sighed, sitting down again. He ignored his aching stomach for now

By the time he was actually able to eat, he was hungry enough that he ate far more than usual. He figured it was the fact that he had it in his line of sight for so long

He fell asleep pretty soon afterwards, on his bed of leaves. He felt like a fairy from his Disney movies, despite the fact that the faeries outside his tunnel were much, much larger than those depictions. He fell into a deep sleep for the next few hours, waking up to the sound of something large moving around.

He sighed, and peeked at the entrance once he had rubbed the sleep from his eyes. He could see a hand, picking something up from the ground outside. Probably the fruit he’d tried to eat

It was jarring seeing a hand that close. Beforehand, distance had been kept enough that he could somewhat ignore the difference in size between him and the faeries.

It was the cyan-coloured faerie, the one he didn’t see quite as often. It was saying something, likely to the darker blue one (he figured calling it Nerd in his mind was easier than referring by colour, especially since both were some shade of blue)

He couldn’t quite hear what was said back to the cyan one, but he supposed that didn’t matter. He couldn’t understand either way.

The cyan one didn’t move away from his tunnel. Okay, Roman was getting nervous now. First, getting the fruit closer to him, and now not leaving him alone? It was gonna be pretty hard to stay hidden at this rate.

It was still crouched down by his tunnel. It wasn’t trying to look into it, but Roman was still nervous with the proximity. He wanted to stay unnoticed for as long as possible, and all this was not helping, at all. He could hear it still chattering away.

Whatever Nerd said next seemed to draw it away from his tunnel, much to Roman’s relief. He moved slightly closer to the entrance, to watch them.

There was nothing better to do anyway. And he knew that it was too dark in his tunnel in comparison to the daylight for the faeries to actually see into his little tunnel.

It was really more of a burrow than a tunnel. It was only about the size of a small room, once you got past the initial entrance, and it didn’t lead anywhere. It made him feel more… animalistic to call it a burrow, so he referred to it as a tunnel, even though it led nowhere.

He watched as the faeries talked to each other, book on the ground next to them and being ignored. Roman ignored the way that felt strange and caused his stomach to turn- Nerd almost never put down its book, even to talk to Cyan.

His first thought was that it had perhaps found something more interesting to talk about- but that didn’t really bode well for his want to stay hidden. There wasn’t much that was particularly interesting nearby, except himself.

Even if they didn’t know what he was, he was sure that them taking a sudden interest in his existence was something that he should be wary of

Then again, why? He couldn’t stay hidden forever, and it wasn’t like he was likely to be able to get home. If they found him, they might do something horrible to him, but something horrible already happened to him.

That’s what got him here.

If they wanted to do something to him, they’d do it whether they found him sooner or later

He sat down glumly, uncaring of the way both pairs of eyes flickered towards his tunnel when they caught a glimpse of movement.

He watched them for a while, but something Nerd said caused Cyan to jump up and hover a few feet above ground (probably just inches to it, to be fair)

Roman could see the excitement on its face, and he retreated back into the depths of the tunnel as it flew away. His heart was racing. What had excited it so much?

He waited, until something finally happened. Cyan had approached his tunnel once again, and Roman stayed carefully out of sight. Instead of standing just outside of his tunnel, or picking something up or putting something down outside of it, the hand entered just slightly inside, depositing something down

Roman waited until the hand retreated, and for it to move away slightly, and then he walked closer to inspect what had been left there

Fruit. They’d cut up pieces of fruit into more manageable pieces and given them to him. He suddenly realised how hungry he was, now faced with food that he could drag further inside and not wait to eat. A small smile graced his face, and he began to drag the fruit a little further from the entrance

——

Patton was hoping that he’d get to see whatever animal had burrowed under his tree. It must’ve been small, to have fit in that tiny hole, and it seemed to really like the fruit nearby!

He talked to Logan for a while, and went to go pick up the fruit that Logan had rolled towards its little burrow the previous day. Logan had been worried that it perhaps hadn’t eaten, but picking up the fruit showed that it had eaten, and it was covered in little tiny bite marks

Patton, still crouched down, reported all this to Logan, perhaps rambling a little more than necessary. Logan reminded him to move away from the burrow so they didn’t startle the little creature.

He sat next to Logan, who had placed his book down

“What do you think it is?” He asked, wondering what kind of smart hypothesis Logan would’ve correlated to the existence of this little thing

“I… am not sure,” Logan started, something Patton had almost never heard from him before, “All the behaviours it seems to exhibit don’t match up to any one animal,”

Conversation carried on, with them sharing what they noticed about their mysterious creature.

“Perhaps it doesn’t eat during the day because there are too many people,” Logan said, tapping his chin in thought. “I can imagine that it would take larger animals as threats and predators enough that it wouldn’t come out for food unless there was very little risk of being attacked,”

Patton thought for a moment “What if I cut up little pieces of the fruit it likes and I put it into the burrow for it? Then it won’t feel at risk of an attack, and it could get used to us!” He explained with a large gesture

Logan’s small smile wasn’t very noticeable, but it made Patton grin more anyway

“Very well, then. I suppose we could try that,”

Patton jumped up, excitedly, wings flapping and keeping him hovering ever so slightly off the ground. He flew towards the fruit in the branches of his tree and started picking them, bringing them into his house to cut up

He brought two small pieces back, and used a spell to keep the others fresh for next time. He quietly approached the burrow, and knelt down, carefully placing the pieces of fruit down for it.

He retreated soon after, noticing the flicker of movement in the dark tunnel. The next time he looked, a few minutes later, the fruit was gone from where he had placed it

He grinned

—

@a-chilly-pepper @da3dm

[syn4k]

He sat in his chair in front of his newly minted desk with a slight stretch upwards, facing the shining planks and gentle orange glow of the rest of house. A well-worn pen lay on the surface of the desk, next to a new notebook and a small cordial of black ink. Out of a small leather pouch came a small box, inside which rested a nib, which was then screwed onto the pen in place of the old one.

After months of travel, Pixl figured he'd take the long way round with his journaling tonight.

He hadn't had much time to jot things down ever since he'd shown up here- between running from spiders, trying to cobble (hah) enough diamonds together to craft a pickaxe, running from spiders, and visiting the Nether to make some horribly time-consuming roof tiles, he'd been a bit busy. But new worlds were always lots of work, after all, and he'd thrown himself into the hustle and bustle of getting started so many times that the routine was more like supple leather: worn and familiar, the actions practiced and almost a dance.

Ah. There his mind went, wandering again as it often did when he wasn't able to access a pen or paper or (more commonly) a reliable power source to plug his laptop or phone into. Some worlds didn't even *have* electricity as Earth knew it- redstone was just a crude spark of magic dust to them, but he'd gotten lucky this time. At least he'd be able to actually contact people without resorting to magical means.

The pen hovered over the paper, words momentarily forgotten, and with a sigh Pix set it to the paper and starting writing.

"June 6th-

The long gap between this update and the last has an actual explanation this time: I've finally found the world that Fwhip sent the details of, after weeks of getting lost. Walking out of time and space is really weird. I got there in the end, though, hence the new journal and the first entry.

It seems the universe is not done with Pixl the archaeologist, not yet. I arrived- (fashionably) late as I often am) -not in my regular outfit, but something very close to what I'd worn in the second world of Empires. I've discovered that I can pull some rather strange and downright improbable things out of gravel, including lapis lazuli, carrots, and once an entire cake that I refuse to touch. Shelby says it tastes fine, with a faint aftertaste of dirt. I have not asked why she knows what dirt tastes like, nor will I because I do as well.

This world is populated with most of the people who were on Empires but with a couple new faces as well. I'm familiar with Scar, of course, but I've heard of Owen- a pilot who crash landed here and is on a quest to get an origin of his own beyond human. Sausage told me that, and also cheerfully informed me that he blew up the poor lad's camera. I'll have to figure out how to make a new one and also inform him when we inevitably cross paths that being human isn't quite a bad thing.

I myself have spent the past few days seperated from contact with the rest of the world, though, busy running around and gathering samples of literally every cool looking rock I could get my hands on and unfamiliar fauna, including Nether reeds- the lava equivalent of sugarcane- and proceeded to spend the next three days weaving it into roof tiles. No regrets.

I know I'll be here a while, so I've gone ahead and built myself a nice little house on a stony outcrop. It has four wings with things like tinkering tables, my desk, a loft with my bed, and of course, the front door, because I'm not interested in phasing through walls. Again. That was a difficult month and a half.

That's about everything, I suppose. I've been building for two days. I'm going to go to bed now and probably sleep in."

The journal snapped shut with a satisfying thock, glass dinged as the cap was screwed back onto the jar of ink, wood creaked as two feet climbed the ladder, and then the little house was silent for the rest of the night and well into the morning.

[granulesofsand]

Past Present and Future

I feel like there isn’t a right time to disclose our trauma history. Our therapist always scolds us when we do, and it’s never gone well. Not always bad, but never good.

Roommates, professors, friends. There’s a window of opportunity, but we usually don’t make it that far. The roommates we told because they kept asking; they called the police. Our ASL professor sent out surveys, always asking if there was anything else to know about us; she never acknowledged our reply.

We told two people a little of our past, them and another about our plurality, and we talk to none of them regularly. One shut down as we told them, the second was mostly our friend because we’d known each other so long, the last we’ll likely not see again.

Even begging for help with the legal group or the student services, nothing. Nobody can hold space for us. We cry out that we will die, they say it’s unfortunate and turn away.

We’re rushing to get safe enough to guarantee literally any future, but our efforts are invisible. We get in trouble with grades and programs because we can’t prioritize them but don’t want to give them up completely.

We want someone to see us and care. It’s not a matter of knowing boundaries or not oversharing, it’s having to lie and hide active threats out of fear that we will be totally alone if we don’t. Superficial relationships with people I don’t remember.

If we make it another six months, we can run for good. Maybe not immediately, but a fighting chance. Desperately hoping that this time will really be the end and we will have won.

We’re going on a trip to a place we were programmed with cult-involved family. It’s only a week or so, but so much can happen in that time. The only way to turn them down at this point would be running away early, which we already know won’t work.

They know we told their secrets. If it were just a trip, we could hope it was innocent. There is no doubt now. We even got one of those weird calls with the dial tones from our mother. She said it was a butt-dial when we asked what that was about.

I’m deciding how to time this post; I don’t want to cause problems, but I do want someone to know in case we disappear. Even if we come out of this one, our next deathdate is fast approaching.

We still have to pretend this is fine, go about daily life with school and chores. The university already knows our story, so I guess we’re a casualty to them. There’s a humor to it all. We’ve got one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel, yet we still need groceries tomorrow.

If we don’t come back, we either got sucked back into the cult or died. Either way, we won’t have the capacity to be angry anymore. Maybe our grudges are strong enough to make us ghosts, could haunt our perps and any others we find.

The trees will turn and lose their leaves, the snow will cling to their branches. We’ll get to see these things at least once more— unless we get hit by a bus, that would be funny.

We’ve always been prepared to die, did all the little things for when we’re gone. Rings have been scattered, messages written on walls, secret gardens and strange knickknacks all set up. I might have time to find and dump that jar of glitter before we go, they’ll never get rid of that.

I wish we could find freedom, but it’s been alright. We were never meant to live this long, so I can hardly complain after a few nice months compared to everything prior. Kinda hope there’s a hell, though. Got some dead assholes I’d love the kneecaps off of.

Just in case: goodbye. It’s been a good run.

[jimmycarterghostland]

I finished reading Interlude 6 of Worm.

I read some of this interlude before, back when I was reading scenes of Worm out of order. Before I started this proper read. I misremembered something. I thought that Lung killed Bakuda in the prison van. So, when she was taken out of it, still alive, I assumed she wasn't going to be killed off in this interlude. It's weird, I actually liked her as a villain. And Lung and Bakuda as a duo was oddly interesting. It was also jarring to see Lung treat someone with respect(he called that lady ma'am). I love Lung. Dude is such a menacing villain. He's an evil bad guy, but I find this evil bad guy interesting. And Bakuda seemed to genuinely like him. As much as a narcissist could like someone. I was sad to see her go, assuming Lung did manage to kill her.

I didn't expect there to be two narrators in a single chapter. I didn't expect to get a Lung POV. As brief as it was, it was nice.

These past few interludes have been great. I haven't enjoyed most of the earlier ones, but Gregor's and Canary's interludes were amazing. Especially Gregor's.

Worm just keeps getting better and better.

The villains are so interesting. I find myself rooting for the villains a lot. It feels like the overall focus is on the villains. They're pretty much the stars of the novel, so far. Also, I was expecting Canary, Bakuda, and Lung to escape from the prison van and start messing things up for the heroes later. But the good guys were competent and made sure the three prisoners didn't get a chance to escape. It really did seem like they were going to successfully escape, though.

I finished reading the Tangle arc, which means I'll have to go back to my three chapters per day routine. I had decided to read more than three, because the story was that good, but I'm going to go back to my previous routine. Reading these Worm chapters has prevented me from working on my ongoing online stories, but it was worth it.

I appreciate that this web serial exists. Seriously. It's so good. It's so much better than a lot of traditionally published literature out there. Worm is written so well. Intelligent characters, no out of character moments, great description, etc. And I haven't noticed any plot holes or noticeable continuity errors.

Wildbow has a way of describing things in a way that I easily understand. He knows how to use things like similes well. I can't give any specific examples, but they're there.

And I love the villains in Worm. It's strange, but I find a lot of joy in reading about these obviously evil villains. Like Lung and Bakuda. There are some not-so-evil villains too, and I like them as well. I do like the villains in Worm more than I do the heroes, though.

Wildbow is great at crafting interesting, complex characters. He is like George RR Martin in this regard. I didn't like Bakuda at first, but I ended up liking her as a villain, despite her being a horrible person, and I enjoyed seeing her, right up until Lung apparently killed her off-screen. The characters in Worm is part of the reason why this novel is so addicting, along with the intelligence of the characters.

I discovered Worm years ago. I think I googled the longest online story, and it led to me discovering Worm. Or maybe I googled a one million word-long story, and that was what led me to finding Worm. Whatever happened, I discovered Worm. I've known about it for years, researched it, and read various scenes out of order. But I could never commit to a full beginning to end read. I decided to start one weeks ago, and these daily Worm posts I've been making are a result of that.

Worm is the web serial that made me start taking web serials seriously. When I discovered it, I was a crappy Wattpad writer. Now I mainly write for Royal Road, which my currently-being-rewritten web serial, 33, is hosted on. I'm also a better writer than I was when I first discovered Worm. Even now, this web serial is still an inspiration for me. Now that I'm reading it from beginning to end, I'm even more inspired to write my own web serials. Someday I want to write an extremely long web serial that will make people feel the way I feel about Worm.

We need more literature like Worm. We need more well-written web serials.

Another thing, I can't visualize when I read anymore. Instead of everything playing like a movie in my head when I read, nothing happens. I thought there was no enjoyment in reading(or writing) anymore because of that. But Worm has proved me wrong. I genuinely love reading it.

Thanks, Wildbow, for creating this masterpiece. Worm deserves the praise that it gets.

[deus-and-the-machina]

@mcytmarch gift for @fruityenderman

I hope you enjoy!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Pearl’s coronation had been a bit of a testy situation. A group of discontented farmers, feeling ignored by king and country, rising up to form their own kingdom was unheard of. But at least she had the support of several other monarchs, most noticeably her neighbors.

Speaking of which, it was while she was getting ready that one Mythical J. Sausage had snuck his way back to see her. “Pearl!” the newly crowned king of Mythland’s eyes lit up. “Oh, you look amazing!”

She gave him a cheeky grin back. “Sausage, did you sneak past the lookouts?”

“Mayyyyybe.”

With a laugh, she threw her arms around him and gave him a firm squeeze. “I’m really glad you made it, it’s been so hectic these past few weeks! It’s still so strange to think about, me a queen?”

“Don’t be modest.” Sausage said. “They chose you for a reason! You’re gonna be great, Queen Pearl.”

“Dwah, you’re too sweet.” Still hugging him, she picked him and spun him around, Sausage squawking in protest. She put him down and put her hands on her hips. “Now help me decide, how many sunflowers is too many, do you think? Should I pin some to my dress, or just my hair?”

He leaned in conspiratorially and whispered, as if telling a secret. “All of them.”

She grinned. “Aight, all of them it is then!”

Sausage began to help her tuck them into her hair, while she pinned several to the bertha of her dress. He’d always been very reliable with this kind of thing. Often she’d let him do her ponytail or braid before sparring. He’d gotten so fond of it he once gave her begging puppy dog eyes when she said she could do it herself. Sausage was just the nicest, strangest member of royalty she’d ever met. The first prince she’d ever met had been the goofiest one too. Well…no longer prince now.

“Hey, sorry if it’s awkward to bring up, but sorry about your father. Shame to hear.”

He waved his hand as if to dismiss the concern. “Nahhh don’t worry about it. At least your coronation is gonna be a lot happier than mine. But hey! We can tell people we became rulers together!”

“Yeah…” she paused. “Really, you don’t have to put on a brave front for me or anything. It’s not gonna ruin the whole day or anything if you talk about it. I just haven’t seen you since then, so I wanted to check in.”

His eyes were a little watery as he looked at her. “Oh,” he said. “Pearl, that's so nice of you. But really! Just being here and seeing my friend is what’s making me feel better. So I’d rather just celebrate you today.”

Pearl was about to be sappy right back, when there was a thud from her drawer. She squinted. “‘Ello? Anyone in there?” Sausage leaned over her shoulder to squint at it as well. There was a muffled voice and a shushing noise. Pearl and Sausage locked eyes and nodded. She yanked open the drawer to reveal that it was much deeper than it normally was, impossibly so, in fact. And in this endless impossible space, two near identical freckled faces poked out.

Twins Gemini Tay and Fwhip were lodged in an impossible space in her drawer, Gem looking rather bothered and guilty and Fwhip grinning like a child being caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

“Ehrm,” he said. “Surprise?”

“Fwhip! Gem! What are you doing in there!” Sausage gasped. “Is this some magic thing? Can you show me later?”

“Oi, I swear, none of you can just show up normally!” Pearl shook her head. “Get up on outta there and say hello!”

The twins clambered out, Gem muttering to herself about Fwhip’s inability to stay quiet. “I’m so sorry,” she put her hand over Pearl’s apologetically. “Fwhip had an idea and I needed to make sure he didn’t do anything too stupid–”

“Aw c’mon Gem, you can admit you had fun too.” Pearl teased. “You go along with so much of our shenanigans and I know you love it.”

“...Maybe. Sometimes”

Her twin puffed out his chest. “Pearl, queen of Gilded Helianthia! How would you like me to prostrate to you? Full bow? Half kneel? Getting on my knees? Or just a nice little curtsey?”

“All of them in that order,” Sausage came up behind her. “All of them!”

“Hey! You don’t gotta bow to me,” she shook her head. “Wait until I get my crown at least!”

“Ah yes, your Majesty. Very wise, your Majesty.” Gem elbowed him lightly.

Though her noble friends were…quirky, to put it lightly, Pearl couldn’t think of anyone she’d rather have by her side at this moment, as Fwhip and Sausage circled each other like crooning birds and Gem looked on in exasperated amusement. Without them, her kingdom probably wouldn’t even exist as it did now, with full sovereignty and everything. Their support had been invaluable every step of the way.

Gem walked over to her and began to rummage in her large pockets. Pearl wouldn’t be surprised if there was some spell that made them similarly much bigger than they appeared. She tugged out a yellow rolled up banner and held it out. “For you!”

“Ooooooo,” Unraveling it, she could see it was her flag. Cute duck eyes stared back at her, but unlike the regular flag, the edges of the flag lit up in rotating patterns. “The ducky’s going to a party, I see.”

“Just a bit of magic!” Gem smiled. “Fwhip didn’t bring anything. Sorry.”

“Hey!” he cried from the side of the room. “Don’t throw me under the bridge like that, I was busy ok!”

Sausage shook his head in fake disappointment. “What a horrible friend you are, Fwhip. Not bringing a coronation present? My word…”

“Well what did you bring, then?”

“...Oh.”

“Yeah! Exactly. So you can’t judge me.”

Gem laughed and looped her arm through Pearl’s. “So, is the queen ready to go out and get her crown?”

Pearl straightened her back and tried to loosen her shoulders. It would be about time then. “I can’t lie, I’m a bit nervous. I’m sure it’ll be fine though.”

“We can walk you down!” Sausage exclaimed. “All of us!”

She shook her head. “Nah, I don’t think you’re allowed to. Besides, I can’t let a few nerves stop me! I need to show my people I’m worthy of their choosing.”

“Boooooo, rules.” said Sausage. “This is why being in charge is fun. You can do whatever you want forever.”

Fwhip nodded. “It rules. If I don’t like something it can just not be a thing.” He sounded incredibly proud of this. Gem rolled her eyes.

“Sure, if you want to be revolted against.” She patted Pearl on the shoulder. “We’ll go back to the audience, then. But if we start cheering before it’s the proper time, no one will be able to hold us back, ok?”

Pearl felt a wide grin spread over her face. “I’d have nothing less.”

The three milled out of her dressing room, leaving Pearl to brush down her dress and straighten the last sunflower. When she walks down the aisle, the dirt path through the garden, that is, her friend’s voices would probably echo out loud above everyone else’s. They’d probably wallop and whoop during the speeches and the vows at inappropriate times. But Gilded Helianthia was a new kingdom, a more lax kingdom, so it wouldn’t be as strange. As the crown was placed on her head, Sausage would toss flowers and Fwhip would set off a small popper explosion and Gem a little shower of purple sparkles, and their clapping would be so loud and long it would leave their hands raw and red.

She took a deep breath. Pearl couldn’t wait to hear it all. And stepped out to meet her destiny.

[duckapus]

What's Up with Mario?

Mario's been acting a little strange lately, being slightly calmer and quieter than usual and seemingly sneaking off on occasion, and Meggy and SMG4 are understandably worried considering it's only been a few weeks since they got him back from being accidentally reset. So, they do what any reasonable, mature adults would do in this situation; follow him around in secret to see what he's been up to. This is despite Luigi reassuring them he knows what's going on and that it's nothing to worry about (he doesn't actually tell them what it is, since it's not his to explain).

For most of the episode their investigation seems entirely pointless, as all they see is Mario doing mundane, everyday errands with the expected Stupid Mario Twist. They're about ready to call the whole thing off...at least until he meets up with Daisy at a diner and they hang out and just talk, with it being obvious that they do this regularly. It's especially jarring since they're both just acting like regular people, no memes or chaos in sight. And then after lunch they go to what's apparently a therapy group for people whose lives have been drastically changed by the arrival of memes.

The two investigators call it off after that, finally feeling like they've pried into something they really shouldn't have. Later that day Mario shows up at the castle and the two of them try to admit what they were doing and apologize for spying on him, only for him to tell them that he already knew they were there, and he isn't mad since he would do (and has done) pretty much the same thing in their position. Then he explains what's going on.

Apparently, after the Mario Reset Arc, his old Canon personality and the Stupid Meme personality he's has for the past 12 years started to merge, and it threw him off-balance for a bit, which is why he's been acting weird for a while. He was hanging out with Daisy because seeing Shadow Mario's team during the WOTFI made him feel a bit guilty about letting those relationships fall apart, and he's been working on reconnecting with any of his old pre-meme friends who are open to it (so, at least for now, definitely not Peach, Toad or Yoshi). And the therapy group is something Daisy introduced him to, because quite frankly he is the Poster Boy for "had your entire life and personality upended when the memes showed up and only really got things in order years later." Not to say he doesn't like who he is now or what his life has become, but it was still a massive change with some pretty nasty consequences.

As for why he didn't tell anyone, it's partly because he didn't think it was that big a deal and partly because he didn't want anyone to worry about him. Luigi knew since they live together and he's also been trying to reconnect with their old canon friends, though he's got a lot less ground to cover than Mario.

(not really sure how to end this)

[useless-sack]

One Quiet Moment

(Decided to take a crack at my own tale from the eyes of Sugar Globe Cookie, based on the work of the brilliant @brittle-doughie. CW: Implied self-deletion) ...If you're reading this, Cookiekind as we know it is extinct.

A few weeks ago, one of my old comrades breached their prison. Looking him in the eye felt weird, I must say. Seeing him in such deranged joy as opposed to me just feeling nothing but disappointment... it's truly jarring. My allies and I tried to fight him off, but it went wrong. It went so, so terribly wrong.

Pure Vanilla was the first to perish. Seeing him be bound in those strings and torn apart just like that was one of most gut-wrenching things I've ever witnessed. I'll never forget the wail I heard from White Lily at the sight of it before she too was strung up and dismembered before us. Next was Elder Faerie... that man had guts, I'm telling you. The Brave Gang was about to be annihilated before he jumped in and took the full brunt of the assault for them. Nothing remained of him after that... and it didn't even matter.

Have you ever had to hold a kid in your arms in their last moments? Because that's what I had to do with Gingerbrave. Poor kid was laying there, bleeding out, and he thought I was the one who needed the emotional support. He told me not to worry, and that even if we couldn't defeat the Beasts, he was sure there'd be someone out there who could see the world through. He uttered those words to me, took one last breath and... that was it.

And then Shadow Milk managed to free the other four.

It's quiet now. Nothing but the trees over my head rustling like the whispers of what once was. Occasionally, I find the crumb piles of those who I fought alongside, left there by the others like broken toys. I always make sure they're given as proper of a burial as they can have. I've searched all the other kingdoms I can find, hoping against hope that at least someone is out there... but I've yet to find anyone. What I did find on one trip, though, has just... broken me.

The forge hammer of the one I held dearest to me. Sometimes, as I look at it, I hear her hearty laughter brush past my ear... though that's most likely just the trees again. It's a miracle that I've even been able to go out on these searches anyway. You try going on search missions while five all-powerful Cookies are constantly breathing down your neck, like that one drunken flirt at a party you refuse to talk to.

First, Silent Salt Cookie. Likely the least unhinged of the five, but that's not saying a whole lot. They act as a bodyguard of sorts around me, not even letting a dust particle brush past me without swatting it away. I've tried to convince them to at least leave me be... but come on, like that'd ever work.

...Would it be strange to say that I'd find consolation in someone hating my guts in these times? Because I was certain that's how Burning Spice Cookie felt about me before all this went down... but no. They're just as ridiculously in love with me as the others are. Really should've seen that coming, huh?

Turns out, Mystic Flour Cookie actually spared a select group of Cookies. Great, right!? No. She did it purely so she could threaten and indoctrinate them into forming a cult for me. Attempts have been made to dismantle this cult and save those in it. All of them have failed.

Shadow Milk Cookie. For the love of the Sugar Swan, when will this little rat leave me alone? He's always dragging me into his little shows, and they're all the exact same; "Oh, look at us, we're soooo much better than the Cookies we've slaughtered, including your GIRLFRIEND!!". Never have I wanted to punch someone more than him.

...And then there's Eternal Sugar Cookie. Good. GOD. If I'd known what that twitching ball of madness was gonna do to my family, I'd have jumped back into the arms of White Lily or Black Pearl in a heartbeat in order to ensure my own safety. I don't even wanna write down the things she's done to me here, just know it's BAD.

I've tried to escape sometimes, y'know? Ascend to the clouds where I could find my loved ones again, apologise, try and make amends, and I've actually succeeded in the past... if only for a few minutes. Then I'm dragged right back down to the barren hell I tried to run away from. They won't even let me die. I guess that's why I'm writing this down. Because I'm one step away from snapping, and I have to vent somehow. So here I am. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't protect you all, I'm sorry that this is how it's all ended, and I'm sorry I can't be there to apologise to your faces. Maybe one day, we'll all get to meet again in an uncorrupted world, but for now... this is it for us.

This is it for me.

~ Sugar Globe Cookie.

[sapphicautistic]

they tore up a lot of the rest of the floor today and the particle board (yes particle board) that was underneath it. on the actual wood part of the subfloor they stapled black paper. it looks so strange in here now. i think they're gonna lay plywood (to replace the particle board part of the subfloor. WHY was there particle board down there.) in the kitchen & hallway tomorrow, and after that either lay flooring or pull up the particle board & flooring in the living room our stove has not been plugged in for... a couple weeks i think? i forgot when mitigation moved it. food is in weird stashes in several different rooms bc we don't always have access to the kitchen. or to the backup kitchen we set up in the corner of another room after being told we might not have kitchen access for a few weeks to a few months (god i'm so glad that was wrong) we do have the fridge plugged in fortunately, we really thought we were gonna have to live out of a cooler for awhile and we borrowed a cooler to prepare, i'm so relieved to not need it

it's nerve wracking being in the kitchen though, the subfloor has been exposed for awhile and i've had to be hypervigilant about chasing down every tiny piece of food i drop and not doing dishes much since my dyspraxia makes water go everywhere when i do dishes. i'm generally the main dish doer in this house so we've been using a lot of paper plates etc but they're gonna make us have floors soon!!

i gotta be the workers' point person tomorrow and wake up 90 minutes earlier than usual to let them in. i'm so looking forward to this being over.

i'm so tired. i'm so sick. i got paranoid that i had covid for a minute bc i'm developing symptoms that aren't typically this bad with just post exertion ME stuff but all the tests are coming back negative and like. i don't leave the house more than a couple times a month, my odds of exposure are so small. i see like 5 people ever and they're all more careful than most abt covid and none of them are or have been sick. half the time i mask around the ones i don't live w anyways.

so i think it's just post exertion stuff, it's more of a change in intensity than in kind anyways. it's upsetting and jarring to have physical proof of getting sicker though.

like i KNOW it's bad to push myself this hard all the time but what other choice do i have? and when it's so nebulous it's easier to dismiss the damage i'm doing to my body. getting a reminder that it's a real concrete thing, in the form of new worsened symptoms is very disturbing.

i don't want to get sicker. i am making myself sicker. i don't want to live my life as small as is now safe for me so i push past what is safe to do and so i get sicker and sicker and my life gets smaller and smaller. and it's not always a choice. who is going to help me get necessary tasks done? everyone i know is disabled or overworked, almost all are both.

anyways welcome to my tired mind 🤪 by following this blog you're reading the journal of one very exhausted lesbian who just needs to lie in bed for a month or two and not have to eat or go to dr appts and then i'll be fine

[morganupstead]

I just wanted to touch on something you’ve mentioned in a previous response, the power we have as viewers. I work in research at a TV network and networks (and probably the writers too) don’t care if you are hate watching a show or miserable, they only care that you are watching. What people are saying on social media isn’t going to change anything, in fact networks only care that you are talking about it, regardless of whether comments are good or bad. The way to get them to take notice and rethink things is to stop watching (on NBC or peacock). For me it’s an easy decision with the last episode, they have completely ruined my favorite TV character and gone against 10 years of character development. And not only can I not buy what they are trying to sell which is literally their job to make me believe the storyline, I am getting angry and depressed watching it. And yes the ratings have gone down throughout the season but that is the case for nearly every show these days (Rookie being an exception and we all know why that has been seeing atypical week to week ratings increases). PD is tied for the season’s top broadcast drama so unless it falls from that rank to say #5, it is not going anywhere anytime soon because it’s a top program in relation to its competition.

I actually appreciate your expertise in this, because a lot of what I've said in the last few days has been purely based on my own gut instincts. I know what I know from a fan's perspective and my own experience.

I think that the *hate watching* term you mentioned really sticks with me because for this entire season, I've just been watching this show like I'm going through the motions. Compared to the past I've never enjoyed this show less than I have in the last few months. Since 10x03 I felt very conflicted because it felt really jarring to just stop watching my favorite show. Despite having so much anxiety and nervousness every single Wednesday just to watch a tv show, I still continued to do it because there was a part of me (however small) that still had hope that it would get better.

Watching Voight berate Hailey every chance he gets, and her work herself down to nothing was not easy to watch for me, mostly because the idea that a woman has to bury her feelings in work in order to cope with hard times is a stereotype I'm just never going to be willing to stand by. This is like the bare minimum of things that have bothered me this season.

I think we have this mental block at times because we love this show and everything that we have seen over 10 seasons so we feel tied to it. I know it might be strange to say but when you love a show and it becomes a comfort and escape, walking away from is jarring. Even if it's hurting you more than it's helping you, and over time I've had to learn this myself.

I think I've made the decision to not watch live, at least for the time being. I will keep up here and on Twitter and maybe watch on a streamer at a later date if I feel like it but I'm not going to go out of my way to make sure I'm home to watch it anymore. The cost-benefit analysis doesn't come out in my favor right now however I manipulate the data.

Not everyone is going to make the same decision as you are me, and I think that is entirely fair. But right now I find it extremely important for everyone to really think about your power as a viewer and how you are choosing to use that power. We aren't as powerless as we are made to think we are, and we certainly have more of a choice than we remember.

[hesitantadrien]

I decided to redraw an old fandom piece as an original, to use as a portfolio piece, because I'm really struggling to create new art. The only fandomy thing about it is what the character is wearing, and I've always liked the piece, so it seemed like a prime candidate for a redraw. It's essentially a bust in a style similar to art nouveau. Nothing groundbreaking, but it looks nice and I'm hoping it'll help me feel more confident in making something that is actually new.

It feels so strange though. I opened the file, made it mostly transparent, and went to start drawing a circle for where the head should be under the details... But it feels like im tracing someone else's work. Not in a "this is cheating" or "I feel guilty reusing my old art" way, because it's not and I don't-- I think this is a solid strategy to revive the very, very dead artistic drive I once had. The piece is just so different from my current "work" (or maybe lack thereof) that it feels like a different person made it.

Everything I've made, or more accurately tried to make, for the past several years has been made mostly out of desperation. I'm desperate to get into a school, get a degree, get out of my shitty job and into something less shitty at the least. It's killed my creativity over and over, I feel like the very few finished pieces I have made really do look and feel desperate and stressed, that it comes through no matter the subject. Everything recent is poisoned by the pressure of making something good enough to warrant scholarship, to so thoroughly impress someone I haven't met yet that they'll save me from my own miserable life.

This older piece was made because I wanted to make it. Because I thought it looked nice, because it was fun. I knew it wouldn't be for a portfolio ever, and though I wanted it to get social media attention, the stakes were exceedingly low. I wasn't happy with my life when I drew that piece either, but I remember making art all the time, I remember it being easier, something to do for fun. I say I remember it, because I know it was true once, but I don't remember what that feels like anymore.

This isn't burnout, this is something else. I'm 29, trans and too poor to transition, have living relatives but no "family" other than my partner and my best friend, and my life savings is $250 in a jar. I have no degree and seemingly no options, I'm more or less paycheck to paycheck. I work full time and my mental health is so horrific that there's little time for me to complete basic tasks, like eating and cleaning, let alone time to dedicate to practicing art and making new pieces I genuinely want to make. I filled out fafsa and qualify for less than 12k student aid, over 9k of which is just direct loans. I'm already in 10k student debt from being pressured to go to a shitty university fresh out of highschool a decade ago, and my credit score isn't great. I don't want more loans even if I could get them, but I don't have the talent or experience to get an art job without a degree. I don't have a real portfolio, my art is painfully obviously student level. I don't know what to do. I desperately need top surgery and I feel like I'm constantly putting off everything else in my life because I haven't "accomplished" either of these things, because I should be saving for one or the other, because everything costs thousands of dollars and I bring home like $400 a week killing myself slowly in retail.

I have a significant breakdown about my life almost every other week now. I'm really trying to go through the motions of what I should do to improve things, but it's exhausting. Instead of daydreaming about the life I want anymore, I just daydream about joining a cult so I wouldn't have to think anymore (I'm jealous of the Jesus people, it's a new low for me!) or think about really elaborate, convoluted ways to die (there are so many fascinating poisons!) I know I can't live like this forever, but I don't know how to make my life better fast enough. I really do want it to get better.

I guess if anyone sees this and has been in my shoes and lived to tell the tale, tell me what I'm missing. And for the love of god, don't say it's patience.

[mariacallous]

Beginning in 2023, we won’t have Dr. Anthony Fauci to kick around any more. After 38 years in government service, the director of the US National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, as well as the White House’s chief medical advisor, is leaving his jobs—don’t say “retiring”—and, at 82, is headed to his next adventure.

It’s hard to imagine anything more adventurous than what he has been through in the past three pandemic years. The country—well, most of it—sympathized with his anguish as he tried to decode the ever-shifting challenges of Covid while his former White House boss, at various times, named the infection with a racial slur, claimed it was no worse than flu (it’s killed a million people in the US alone so far), and suggested it might be treated with a good injection of bleach. Fauci’s role as the highly qualified, avuncular explainer-in-chief heading a critical research lab won him many fans, but as the pandemic progressed, it also made him a target for those who sniffed conspiracy or simply got sick of following guidelines that might save their lives.

On the eve of Fauci’s departure from government, the nation finds itself in a strange place. We’ve pretty much declared ourselves done with Covid. But Covid isn’t done with us. It killed 2,504 Americans last week, and many thousands are living with the debilitating misery of long Covid. Yet those who wear masks at indoor gatherings—like Fauci—are mocked. Fauci himself got Covid earlier this year, when he briefly let his guard down and lowered his mask.

For my fourth interview with Dr. Fauci (you can read the previous ones here, here, and here), I decided to ask him about how he regards the psychology of denial—and also to get a glimpse of what we have in store for us this winter. The interview has been edited for length and clarity.

Steven Levy: Let’s talk about this winter. Do you expect those two new Covid variants BQ.1 and BQ1.1—they don’t really trip off the tongue—to dominate very soon?

Anthony Fauci: It looks like it’s going in that direction. They went from a fraction of a fraction, to a few, to now double digits. I do expect that, as we’ve seen in other countries, those variants will likely play a role. But they’re not the only ones. You know, there’s BA4.6, BF.7. And then there’s the others that aren’t even here yet that are lingering in other countries.

Those variants are troublesome, right?

Yes, they’re different, somewhat evasive. They elude some of the monoclonal antibodies that have been used effectively. But if you look at the relationship between them and the currently dominant variations, they are subdivisions of that lineage. So although the vaccine isn’t precisely matched to the variant, I believe there’ll be enough cross-reactivity not to create a very serious issue among those who’ve been vaccinated, and particularly those who’ve been vaccinated and boosted.

Can we expect some sort of surge this winter?

It’s unlikely we will see a surge the likes of when Omicron hit us last November and December. I always keep an open mind because I don’t put anything past this virus. But I would be surprised if we saw a major, major surge.

One thing about a surge is that it makes people more careful. Even in communities that once were cautious, most people aren’t masked now, despite continued infections and hundreds of deaths every day. If levels of infection are about the same, we’ll have no incentive to jar us into a higher level of caution.

I believe that you have to enter something else into your equation. As we get into the cooler months of the late fall and the early winter, we’re not only going to have Covid—particularly with these other variants beginning to emerge as we just discussed—but you also have the influenza season. Some years it comes early, sometimes it comes right on time, and sometimes late. This year looks early, at least in some regions. And then there are other infections, such as respiratory syncytial virus, which is particularly problematic for children less than 5 years old and for the elderly.

People should begin masking when they’re in indoor settings during the winter. I’m not talking about mandating anything. I’m talking about using good common sense. If you are a vulnerable person, or if you live in a household with a vulnerable person, you might want to go that extra step. Even though there’s no requirement for a mask, you might want to go back to wearing a mask in an indoor setting.

So let’s talk about masking. I heard that when you got Covid yourself, you attributed it to a moment of weakness, when you took off your mask around people who were special to you and weren’t wearing masks themselves. Those of us who try to wear masks indoors have all felt that pressure. How do we get to the point where we concede the “freedom” of people not to wear a mask and thus endanger others, while the freedom to wear a mask is under assault?

I can’t explain that very well. There’s a very interesting psychological twist there, where you’re doing the right thing to protect yourself, and you feel uncomfortable, because you think that you are making other people uncomfortable. Now, I don’t want to practice psychoanalysis in our interview …

Let’s go for it.

I can tell you my feeling. I was seeing all of my friends—this was a college reunion. I walked into that room, and I had a mask, and they were there with their significant others, none of whom had a mask on. I felt badly, like I was making them feel uncomfortable because they didn’t have a mask on. So I took my mask off. It was a psychological glitch. And it cost me, because there’s no doubt that that’s where I got infected.

Do you think situations like those are a victory for the science deniers?

I don’t want to give them any victories.

But that’s the reality. You’re an empirical person. This is where we are. I wouldn’t want to be in a subway without a mask. But I go on the subway and 20 percent are wearing masks.

There’s a difference. As long as we’re getting into psychoanalysis, here’s how I feel: If I go on in a subway or I get on a plane, and I’m wearing a mask, and nobody else is, I don’t really care how they feel. But when you go to a social event, you know everybody, and you don’t want them to feel uncomfortable—that’s a little bit of a different incentive. Or disincentive, as it were.

I interviewed Bill Gates recently. You must have read his book about the next pandemic.

I have indeed.

Bill and I kind of got into an argument. He said that we’re in a better position to fight the next pandemic, because we fought this one. I said we’re in a worse position, because of the mistrust and even hate now directed toward the public health world, which everyone used to respect. This hostility is something that you’ve experienced yourself. So I think that if another pandemic comes on, we’ll be starting from a disadvantage, because there’ll be a significant percentage of people who won’t accept the proper guidance on what to do to fight this next one. Where do you stand?

There are two elements to that. Overall, I agree with Bill. I think that the lessons learned, particularly among public health officials, are the kinds of things that should be applied. If those lessons are heeded, I think we’ll do better. The good news about the outbreak is that we had years of investments in basic and clinical biomedical research, which allowed us to actually develop a vaccine in unprecedented record time—from the time that we identified the virus to the time that we got a safe and effective vaccine into the arms of people. So we should absolutely remember the lesson of continuing to make investments in biomedical research. Also, heeding the lesson of what went wrong early on, with regard to the public health issues, will put us in good stead.

But in another way, you are correct. Statistically, you will never know when the next pandemic is going to be. I’ll yield to you that in the next pandemic, if it comes relatively soon, there will be people who say, “We’ve had enough of restrictions, we’re not going to have them anymore, we’re just going to go our way.” That would be a big mistake. But what likely will happen is that the next pandemic might be years and years and years from now, when people don’t remember what it was like back then. We would just start all over again. And hopefully, we wouldn’t forget the lessons.

I don’t know if we’re heeding those lessons even now. Hundreds of people a day still die of Covid, and millions are getting long Covid. In September, President Biden asked for more money to fight the virus and help the sick people. He couldn’t get the money.

Right, it’s unfortunate.

To what do you attribute that? Republicans get Covid, too, right?

Obviously, that reflects an unfortunate reality. We live in a very, very divided society. And the degree of divisiveness clearly has interfered with the optimal response to the pandemic. You have a situation where the level of vaccinations in red states versus blue states is substantially different. And the number of deaths due to Covid among Republicans is greater than among Democrats, for the simple reason there’s less of an uptake of vaccinations there. That is unfortunate and should never happen.

There should be a unified response, where everybody realizes that the enemy is the virus, not each other. We need to do everything we can to protect ourselves and protect each other. Unfortunately, that’s not been the case. Political ideologies have gotten involved in a response to an outbreak.

A Senate committee recently concluded that Covid originated from a lab in China. Do you think that’s an unreasonable assumption?

I joined a large group of highly experienced evolutionary virologists who studied this very carefully. We kept an open mind that any theory is possible: lab leak versus natural occurrence. We looked at the evidence on either side and feel that the true evidence—not the tweeting and whatever—strongly weighs on the side of this being a natural occurrence. That doesn’t prove the case. And you still keep an open mind for a lab leak. But I believe that anybody who studies this situation can’t in good conscience say that the lab leak is the most likely explanation.

How much of a practical difference would that make if we knew one way or the other?

Well, knowing which it was would prepare you for the next pandemic, or help you to prevent it from happening again. If we definitively proved that it was a natural occurrence from an animal reservoir—which I believe is the case, again—we would put much more effort into exploring that animal reservoir to see what’s out there, and putting restrictions on the utilization of wild animals in wet markets.

I’d hope we’re doing that anyway.

Well, the Chinese aren’t, when they go against their so-called regulation of not bringing in animals from the wild into the market, exposed to people in the market shopping for food. We have clear-cut proof that they actually did. We have photographs showing the animals in the market that should not have been there. We want to get much stricter on not allowing that animal-human interface.

The state attorneys general in Louisiana and Missouri are charging that you colluded with Mark Zuckerberg to suppress information about a Covid lab leak. Just for the record, you didn’t collude?

That’s laughable. I mean, that is so ludicrous. It isn’t even worth commenting on. I mean, give me a break.

These are people who were elected by state populations as their chief law officers.

Yeah. And some of them are the ones who say that Biden didn’t win the election. So there you go.

Have you ever listened to Joe Rogan?

No, I have not.

Some of his interviews are fascinating and enlightening. And then he’ll have a guest like the Covid denier Robert Malone, and the two of them talk for three hours about how vaccines are more dangerous than Covid itself. It’s baffling to me. Why are even intelligent people so prone to these conspiracy theories? I know you don’t like to psychoanalyze, but you’ve been through tough times before, and it’s part of your job to deal with irrational fears. What’s behind that?

It’s not an easy explanation, Steven. You don’t know whether people really believe that or it’s just acting out. I can’t explain it. It’s too complicated.

You’re leaving your government posts in December, after an amazing career that must be ending bittersweetly because of all the invective and threats leveled against you. Do you think it’s helpful to have a single person, even a trusted one, so much out front in a national health crisis like this?

Other people have to decide that. I am not alone out there. We have the director of the CDC [the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention], we have the surgeon general—there are a lot of people out there. Because I’m the target of the far right, it looks like I’m the only person out there, but I’m not.

[astraldelights]

Meet Cute

Synopsis: an unexpected encounter with a strange gift shopist at the museum

Content: Just cute stuff in general

Word count: 2.9k

Author’s note: This took awhile to write but it was fun! I kept seeing other writings where Steven woke up without reader being real or hinted which made me sad so i wanted to give my boi something sweet. Sorry if I got any Egyptian mythology wrong. Enjoy reading!

Masterlist

The past week had been filled with late nights, filing reports and meetings. Looking for a break from the monotony, you decided to take the upcoming weekend as a way to explore something new. While the national art gallery would not have naturally been a first choice, they did have a new exhibit, so you decided to check it out.

Entering the museum, you walked around the displays of the artefacts. History has always been full of mystery, but you believed it provided an interesting insight to the past.

Deeply lost in thought, you found yourself in front of a sculpture of a cat. 

“Are you a cat lover by any chance?” The strange accent caught your attention

“If you're interested to know, cats were revered by the ancient Egyptians. They even had a goddess with a feline’s head called Bastet.”

“What was she worshipped for?” You questioned the man. This seemed to start a spark in him. He immediately replied,” She was a fierce lioness warrior goddess of the sun! And she-”

“Stevie!” He abruptly stopped his passionate explanation as he was rudely interrupted by a stern looking woman. 

“What did I tell you about bothering the museum guests! You’re not even a bloody tour guide. Get back to your station, and stop being useless!” The woman scolded him harshly. 

 Before you could even tell her there was no problem she had turned to you and apologised for the inconvenience before going about her way. Steven already rushed off at that point, causing you to lose track of where he had gone. 

-

After a few minutes of roaming around the museum, you found the man at a counter with candy and merchandise on it. He seemed to be slowly falling asleep at the counter.

“Hey ‘stevie’? Would you be so kind as to continue that explanation you were giving me earlier?” 

Hearing your voice, he lifted his head. 

“Oh it's you again. I’m sorry for earlier, Donna doesn't like it when I bother the guests here. You could get a real tour from one of our real tour guides.” He tries to direct you to a lady in a black dress, but upon noticing his existence she huffed angrily and stormed away.

“I’m not really on good terms with her. Sorry ‘bout that.” He apologised, figure deflating like a balloon. He scratched his head as silence filled the awkward situation. 

Sensing his self confidence sinking lower than the deepest depths of hell by the second, you try to lighten his mood. “Don’t worry about it! That just means that …. You! Can continue giving me an ‘unofficial’ tour of the place. Would that be alright ‘stevie’?”

Slightly shocked by your reaction to the whole situation, it stunned him in his place. Taking some time to come back to the present, he finally replied

 “Yeah, I would really like that. Also it's Steven, with a v.”

You nodded as he led you deeper into the exhibit.

-

“ They’d suck out all your organs, except the heart, because it was needed to be judged by Anubis, the god of the dead. It was weighed against a pure ostrich feather to determine if you were pure of heart.  If your heart was heavier than the feather, weighed down by wrongdoings in life, it would be devoured by Ammit, devourer of the dead, and you would cease to exist forever.” He waved his hands trying to emphasise the fearful tale.

“Well I sure hope my heart’s pure enough to not get eaten out of existence by some weird crocodile lady.” You laughed nervously.

He blurted out in embarrassment , “Oh-h i never meant to imply y-your heart wasn’t pure. I’m sure y-you have the p-purest of h-hearts!”  

Hearing the compliment made you blush redder than the preserved organs in a jar.

 Following the slight seconds of awkward silence Steven decided to continue explaining, “ If your heart w-hich it definitely is, judged pure, Ra, the sun god would take you to Osiris, god of the underworld, and you would be placed in the field of reeds where you would cultivate your own plot of land for all eternity. It’s a place with no sadness or pain, just work.” As he says this he looks longingly at the book of the dead. Steven seemed to be wishing for peace from living life. You stepped closer to him, you laid your hand softly on his shoulder. 

“I think that that would be kind of boring right? Without pain or sadness what will joy or happiness be.” 

Steven turned to you, smiling gently, “I guess you're right. We surely got it better up here in the land of the living huh?” 

“Yeah I would say so”  

You met his eyes. They seemed tired from everything, in search of some momentary bliss. Getting lost in his gaze was so easy, but that was suddenly broken.

“The Museum is closing in 15 minutes. All visitors, please proceed to the exit and have a nice day.”

Realising the intimate staring contest you had just been in, you quickly removed your hand from Steven’s shoulder abashedly. 

“Steven was it? I really enjoyed the time we had together and was thinking if we could continue seeing each other?” While you knew there was a chance you could get rejected, you never expected the next words that came out of his mouth.

“Are you real?” Standing there, the stillness of all of it made you uncomfortable. The shock of his question held you in your place. What feeling was better to prove your existence than pain? You flicked his forehead as hard as you could. 

“Ouch- yeah your r-real. Sorry ‘bout that question. U-uh i would love to. How ‘bout you come over to mine next friday?” Steven rubbed his forehead, nursing the temporary pain. 

“I would really like that, just don’t question my existence again ok?” You jabbed back lightly.

“Yeah ok- ok! See you next Friday!”

You and Steven walked to the entrance exchanging numbers before bidding your goodbyes. Steven headed back into the museum. Sadly he had to stock inventory again and could not continue walking you to the bus stop like he wanted. As he placed the plastic toys into boxes he had already started planning for your visit next week. 

It felt like his heart was beating the hardest it had ever been.

-

Steven stumbled his way out of the museum. His shift had finally ended and it was late into the night. He made his way to the park he frequented and found the golden man he always shared his days with. Sitting down beside the man, Steven took out a sandwich and started to ramble 

“You won’t believe what happened today. A girl asked me out!” He excitedly stated. The golden man sat there, still.

“Saying that out loud sounds kinda pathetic now. B-but we have a date at my place, next Friday. I'm not risking going to a restaurant again and making her hate me.” Remembering the past occurrence he had vowed not to let it happen a second time.

“But like i said before, can’t really have ankle restraints and sand all around my bed with a girl coming over, can I? That’s the definition of a red flag innit? You know what I mean. Gotta figure something out.” 

Finally, Steven had finished airing out all his grievances. He thanked the unmoving man and left some change before heading back home. 

-

The area you had walked into seemed slightly run-down. Graffiti painted the walls, cardboard boxes piled up near garbage containers. You weave your way through the vendors that occupied the street, all trying to earn a living. Arriving in front of Steven’s apartment, you checked the address to ensure you had arrived at the right place. Stepping aside from the broom seller at its entrance, you walked into the apartment building.

The elevator light flickered, and an elderly lady entered the elevator striking up a conversation.

“I haven’t seen you around here before, visiting someone dear?”  

“Yeah, on the fifth floor. You too?” 

“I’m visiting my old friend Claire.”  The elevator dinged on the fifth floor as the doors opened.

“Have a nice day.” You waved goodbye to the elderly lady and walked up to Steven’s apartment door. Knocking on the door did not prompt any response. Knocking again did not help so you decided to call instead. 

Steven awoke violently from his bed, ankle restraints holding him back from going any further, causing him to fall flat onto the floor. Picking himself up, he removed his restraints and answered the phone.

“Ello?”

“Steven, I’m outside your door? For our date? It’s Friday.”  Hearing this made him panic. It was happening again. Time seemed too fast for him to constantly catch up with. Steven started to sweep as much sand he could under his bed but had a hard time removing the restraints.

“Steven? Are you there?”

“Yes! Just give me a moment!” He hastily peeled off the blue tape and unlocked the door. Staring at you for a while, he took in your appearance. While you didn't really dress up too much you still put together a nice outfit for the occasion.

“So are you going to invite me in?” Steven finally snapped out of his trance, opening the door fully.

-

Books immediately filled your vision, shelves filled to the brim with them. Walking on the dusty floor, you explored the attic-like apartment.

“S-so uh yeah. W-welcome to my place.” Steven tried to comb his curly bed head with his hands but to no avail, it just made his hair even messier. As you explored the apartment you noticed books of different materials. The topics they contained was extensive, it started from Ancient Egypt to French literature to Dictionaries of other languages. A bookworms’ paradise. Noticing you inching closer to his bed, he suddenly shouted out to catch your attention.

“THIS- is my one-fin wonder Gus. Would you like to feed ‘im?” He guided you over to the fish tank and handed you the sprinkles of fish food. The fish didn't struggle at all, supporting all its swimming with just one fin. As you sprinkled the food into the tank, the fish hurriedly swam to each speck and gobbled each one up.

“He certainly has his own charm even with one fin huh?” Steven nodded as both of you observed the fish aimlessly swimming around, however it seemed like his reflection was staring back at you.

“I feel ‘bit underdressed compared to you. You wouldn’t mind if I went to change and freshen up?” Steven said as he stood in his plain white shirt and grey sweatpants. His hair messy like a mop, could have gained its own sentience. 

“Sure! I'll just order some pizza for our dinner.” Moving away from the fish tank, you gave the fish some privacy. Steven entered the fresher with some clean clothes, trying to neaten his unkempt appearance. 

Picking up the phone, you dialed a few places, in search for some vegan pizza options near the area. Even though it took awhile, you finally found a pizza place with a vegan margarita pizza that was willing to deliver to the slightly off-putting neighbourhood. 

Hoping to watch some TV to pass the time, you turned on the television but could not find a couch to sit on. Deciding to make your watching experience more comfortable, you approach the bed to grab some pillows. However, when you reached the bedside, the floor seemed to feel more grainy than before. There also seemed to be ropes tied around the bedposts that were shoved hastily under the bed. Pulling the ropes, at the end you found restraints.

Just then, Steven exited the fresher and saw the scene that played out in front of him. Slack-jawed, he tried to explain himself in a panic

“Those are for my sleeping disorder! N-not for anything w-weird i p-promise.”

You narrowed your eyes at him, “Who needs ankle-restraints for a sleeping disorder? For all I know, you might have some interesting habits.” You wiggled your eyebrows joking. This flustered him further, but he explained his unusual situation to you.  Right as his explanation ended the doorbell rang. Opening the door you picked up the pizza.

“Have you seeked out professional help for this?” Steven shook his head

“I thought it might just go away on its own so i never went to hospital for it.”  He sat down on his bed, wrapping the rope that lay on the floor around his bed post. You hugged the man with your arm, “ Just remember to take care of yourself alright?”  

“ I will.”

With your warmth so close, he felt he could stay in your arms forever.

-

Grabbing the pillows and placing them near the TV, you and Steven settled into the fluffed up pillows with plates of pizza. 

A box of old DVD cases were pulled out by Steven. “Would you like to watch a movie? I’ve got a few on DVD, Most of them are documentaries” Digging through the dusty cases, you picked out a case with a screaming lady on the cover. 

“How about this one?” 

Steven shrugged, “ Why not.”

Placing the DVD in, the screen started to show its title. ‘The Return Of The Cursed Pharaoh’ 

The movie, surprisingly, was not great. It started with its plot with an archaeologist and his beautiful blond assistant. While she tries to help him through the dig site, she activates all of the booby traps and has to be saved. And of course, Zombie Mummies come into play.

“Oh, come on! Osiris is the king of the underworld. He’s not some boogieman that brings the dead back to life!” 

“That’s not even a sacred tablet, it's a cosmetic palette! Where did they find such a detailed replica and not use it right!?”

 And many other complaints came from Steven that night as he stuffed his face with the vegan pizza. Turns out a 80s B-horror movie would not be the most accurate representation of ancient Egyptian mythology. Halfway through you decided to tune out the movie completely and just focus on Steven. His face was scrunched up, disagreeing with all the inaccuracies on screen. His lips seemed fixed in a permanent pout.

“You're so cute when you're like this.” Steven heated up at the complement. Someone that was willing to stand his ramblings was tough to find. Finding them cute? That was a completely different question.

“T-thank you.”

Sitting on the pillows, you started to lay on him. Weaving your arm with his, enjoying his closeness. With you wrapped around him like that, it immediately stopped his complaints as the movie went on. How could he concentrate when you were so close to him? While he was tensed up in the beginning, he found the courage to relax and enjoy your embrace. 

-

As the movie starts to roll its credits, the both of you let out a sigh of relief.

“It’s finally over huh.”

“Yep, thank god!” You giggled at Steven’s exclamation

Tearing yourself from his side, you turned to him, “ It was quite bad, but it had its funny moments. Like when the mummy appeared as man badly wrapped in toilet paper. They surely were creative.”

“Mmhm. But I don't think I could have sat through it without you... l-love. Is i-it ok if I call you that?” He fiddled with his hands while looking at you with puppy dog eyes while his head faced towards the ground.

“Only if I get to call you Stevie.” 

He blushed at the nickname, “ It's a deal”

Picking up the plates, you started to clean them at the sink while Steven placed the pillows where they belong. Looking behind you, you noticed the post cards pinned up beside his tank.

“Lots of postcards beside Gus’s tank. What an adventurous fish, it seems like he wants to visit the streets of Rome or go up the Eiffel tower.” Steven laughed at your comment as he fluffed up his pillows on his bed.

“Ha-ha yeah! They’re all postcards from me mum, I pin them near his tank so he can see the whole world in his little tank.” 

Wiping the plates dry, you placed them back in the cupboard. You walked over to Steven’s side as he arranged his bed. He rested his tired body on the side of the bed, allowing his legs to hang. Laying beside him, you observed his tired eyes starting to close. It’s deep sunken appearance concerned you. 

“I think I should be going Steven, you look knackered. I'll let you rest, is that alright?.” Hearing your voice beside him, he shifted onto his side as well. He nodded tiredly. He didn’t want you to leave. It was scary that this could be all a dream and he would wake up with you a passing thought in his head. But he couldn’t keep you here forever. 

You moved closer to him. Placing your hand on his face before leaving him with a chastise kiss on his lips. Getting up from the bed, you took your bag and headed out the door.

“Rest well Steven.” 

The door closed behind you, leaving Steven alone in the apartment again.

His eyes were wide open, still trying to process the kiss you left him. It was real enough. 

Pounding like a hummingbird’s wings, his heart never seemed to stop beating as wildly for you.

[httpjeon]

heajix ― jungkook (m.)

jungkook/reader | alien!au | angst, fluff, smut

wordcount: 13.1k

contents: violence, blood, stabbing, minor character death, murder, mentions of mass genocide, knotting, breeding kink/impreg kink, light size kink, dirty talk, blowjob, fingering, cunnilingus, begging, multiple orgasms, light cumflation, cum eating, cum sharing

― synopsis: you find yourself on palacios, home to the sehebon. unfortunately, it’s not by choice and you quickly realize how deadly the planet is.

note: heajix is pronounced hay-jicks

© httpjeon 2019. do not repost or modify.

blog masterlist ― made of stardust masterlist

You'd been traveling, backpacking to be precise, through Fanet IV System — the newest system to be open for interplanetary travel. While you were traveling and exploring the newly available system and planets you began experiencing extreme technical difficulties. You wound up having to make an emergency landing on the planet of perpetual night called Palacios, home of the Heajix — an obscure, secretive race small in population.

Unfortunately, the least developed planet hadn't taken too kindly to their status of open-for-visits and had seemingly gone into a global lockdown of some sort since it began.

The second you stepped off your craft, you began to cough. The pollution in the air and smog that you could see had you scrambling for the mask you'd been given ahead of your visit.

You were in the heart of the capital city, Yathe, and it was nothing like you'd expected. Instead of a bustling metropolis like on all the other planets — it was nothing but abandoned buildings and graffiti covered walls. There seemed to be limited electricity supplied as street lamps flickered on and off, though most didn't work. The ones that were flickering helped you navigate your way around regardless.

The place was basically lawless, from what you knew, and the citizens did what they wanted to for the most part.

Pulling your backpack over your shoulders, you began to make your way through a nearby residential area. The houses, if you could call them that, were dilapidated and run-down; some had broken windows and others were completely destroyed. The Heajix's native tongue was plastered all over the ruined buildings and, while you weren't fluent, were talking shit about the other planets.

Using the flashlight on your phone, and aided by the illumination of the moon, you managed to find yourself in front of a house. It was small and wooden, no doubt old. When you walked inside, you realized it was just a simple one-room house with an attached bathroom as the only other room.

It was a gamble to assume it was unoccupied but, you really didn't have any other choices since you really couldn't spend the night out on the street. Your communications were down and there was no cell service.

You sighed and stepped inside, wincing at the visible dust floating around the room — thankful for your mask. When you turned to lock the door, you were dismayed to find there was only a broken locking mechanism. Groaning, you banged your head against the door.

"Why does my life suck? This planet might actually kill me!" You grumbled to yourself.

You dropped your backpack on the floor, unraveling the sleeping bag that was attached at the bottom and dropping it in a suitable sleeping place. There was a window right beside the front door, large enough for you to clearly see outside and allowing the moonlight to drift in.

You placed your bag in the corner near your sleeping bag and sat down. It was soft and cushioned, helping you to not feel the hard, rough floor beneath. There was a pillow sewn into the sleeping bag which you laid your head on.

The trip had been long and grueling, taking a week to complete so sleep quickly caught up to you. As your eyes fluttered closed, just before darkness completely overtook you, you swear you saw someone moving in the window.

Waking up to no sunlight was definitely jarring and you quickly realized that your circadian rhythm was going to flip out. Regardless, you looked at the time and it was just past 9 in the morning so you stood up and stretched, intending to take a shower. Grabbing your backpack, you dragged it over to the bathroom. Toting the thing made you realize how heavy it was — you'd packed so much into it for the trip. It hit the floor with a clunk and you were briefly concerned it would break the wood floor beneath.

There was a shower — a rusted spigot and a broken hot water nozzle. You groaned, realizing how shitty your morning was about to be. You reached in, turning the nozzle. The pipes clanged loudly and made a high pitched wailing noise before spurting out water. Your jaw dropped open and you let out a cry of despair at the yellowed water.

After finishing your horrifying shower, 20 minutes of holding in shrieks from the cold polluted water, you sat on the floor in the main area by the window. You did notice that the moon was a lot brighter than it had been and provided more visibility. Pulling out your file from your backpack, you hunched over the floor to take note of the crummy conditions the planet lived in along with their lack of fresh, clean water.

It was a hobby of sorts, traveling through newly opened solar systems and journaling your stay on the planets.

Checking your phone, you noticed it was nearing noon and your stomach began to growl. You slipped your shoes on and put the mask back on your face before stepping out; hiding your belongings in the bathroom to make it seem like the house was empty should anyone come by.

When you stepped outside, you felt a shiver travel up your spine at the ominous atmosphere. It was completely silent, not a single soul in sight and it set you on edge. Pulling the hood of your hoodie up, you kept your head down as you began to walk towards the area where your ship had been parked. 

Truth be told, it was quite common on planets of weaker economies for the Capital Planet to provide the citizen with rations. 

There were other planets you'd seen them on, and as you walked through the smoggy city you were pleased to find a run-down building marked with a giant red symbol of Vulia — capital of Fanet IV. 

The glass doors were smashed open and you easily stepped inside. It was dark and dusty with minimal light helping to guide you. Finally giving in, you turned your cell phone's flashlight on and began to look around.

The place was massive and you were shocked to see that the shelves were still lined with food. It wasn't abundant but it was clear not many people had been picking from the rations.

You grabbed some things from the shelf, realizing you should have brought your backpack. Most of the food was marked in foreign text but you didn’t care. You just needed food or else you wouldn’t survive long enough, on the planet, to even figure out how to get home. 

You put some in your pockets and carried others in your hands as you swiftly left the building. Looking around, you felt like someone was watching you but the streets were pedestrian-free. In fact it was eerily empty — it was reminiscent of a ghost town. Strange considering it was the capital city of the planet. 

Not wanting to risk getting into trouble, you hurried on your way the your ‘home’. Regretfully, as you shut the door, you remembered the door didn’t properly lock. You weren’t particularly handy enough to really fix it by yourself, unfortunately.

You saved as much food as you could in order to avoid having to go back out and quickly found yourself bored. Looking at the clock, you realized it was only about 2pm. There was no way you could go outside to find something to do. Aside from the fact you knew close to nothing about the planet, you also didn't feel safe out and about.

So you sat there, watching the hours tick by. Your phone battery was depleting and there was no way to charge it — the planet wasn’t quite equipped with outlets and electricity. Once it was dead you were going to be so fucked — no flashlight and no way to tell the time.

It was still early when you decided to roll out your sleeping bag and lay down. You spent a while simply staring at the walls and ceiling daydreaming. 

As you lay there in your own world, out of the corner of your eye, something shifted in the darkness of your window.

You sat up quickly, turning your head to look but found nothing to see.

"Now I'm starting to hallucinate," You grumbled, laying back down and turning your back to the window.

You sighed when you woke back up, glancing at your phone indicated it'd only been a couple hours. Blinking the sleep out of your eyes, your gaze shifted to the window once again.

Your breath caught in your chest when you could make out the shape of a person standing there — silhouetted against the moon's light.

You couldn't see their face but you knew they could see you, you could feel their gaze burning into you, as they brought their hand to the glass and tapped three times. You didn't breathe, eyes wide with fear you watched as their head tilted to the side. They lifted their hand up again, no doubt intending to knock again when they froze.

You swear you could hear muffled voices but it was so faint it was nearly impossible to be sure that's what you heard. The person's head snapped to the side, body going stiff.

Much to your horror, a second figure made an appearance from a few feet behind them.

All was still for a second before the first figure bolted and took off running. The second person stood there for a second and you were scared they were going to harass you as well. However, the person turned and walked in the opposite direction the other one ran.

With your sleeping bag pulled up to your eyes, you knew you weren't going to be falling asleep again.

When the morning came, you began trying to fix the lock — the night before having made you terrified for your safety. It was a simple type of latch and it took you hours to figure out a way to get it to work — with the help of a bobby pin and a spare pen you had in your bag.

It wasn't the best but it gave you a sense of peace of mind. 

You hoped you'd be able to sleep.

Staring at the window, you sighed — maybe you could find something to cover it up when you grew the courage to go out again. You really needed to, having run out of rations and on your last bottle of water that you had collected.

Your phone was almost completely dead after you had been using it to light your work on the lock. The bar was red indicating a sad 18% power left.

The time was a bit past 5PM and you decided to go while it was still technically daytime. Once outside, you wanted to cry with how much you hated it.

Curse you and you terrible luck. 

You could only hope that the signals for help you'd sent out would miraculously find their way to someone who could help you. There was also the possibility of you finding someone in Yathe who could help you — whenever you gained the courage to venture around and find help for yourself.

Until then, you'd just suffer by yourself.

You did the rounds again, this time you stuffed much more into your backpack — which you’d remembered to take. Every little creak and gust of wind caused you to jump, the image of that person standing at your window was still haunting you. 

You were going to be severely out of luck soon; with no phone, no way to contact Earth or a nearby planet to get to for safety, along with the apparent stalkers hiding in the dark. With worries weighing heavily on your mind, you found yourself drifting into your thoughts. Anxiety riddled your being and you cursed yourself for not having been prepared for an event like the one you were in.

The only thing that pulled you from your thoughts were the heavy footsteps not far behind you. The hair on the back of your neck stood on end and your hands began to tremble. Taking a glance over your shoulder, you saw a broad-shouldered individual meandering around behind you. With their hood pulled over their head, you couldn't see their face but you were sure it was a man.

When he noticed you looking, he picked up his pace intending to catch up to you. You held a whimper of fear in, speeding up your own pace.

His footsteps sped up again and you felt tears of fear pricking at your eyes — your house was right up ahead. You could get inside and lock him out.

Just before you reached your house, the footsteps stopped altogether. When you glanced over your shoulder, you saw the man talking to another person.

He had a friend.

You were in such deep shit.

Practically bolting to your house, you locked the door shut and placed your backpack in front of it — it was heavy and it wouldn't do much. Nonetheless, it helped you feel safe. You slid to the floor underneath the window, out of view.

Despite your fear, your stomach began to grumble with hunger. You chanced a peek out of the window and found there was not another soul in sight.

Your hands were shaking so bad it made it difficult to bring your drink safely to your lips. It took you an hour, according to your phone, to eat some of your food as you had kept drifting off into space.

A loud bang made your eyes shoot open, having fallen asleep against the wall with your knees to your chest. Drowsy, you looked around for the source of what woke you up.

Another bang and you saw your poorly locked door move with the weight of someone slamming against it. You scrambled backwards away from the door, eyes wide as tears pricked at them in fear.

There was nothing you could do as the lock gave and the door flew open. A man stood there, shoulders heaving as he glared at you. You could see only his eyes as his face was masked with scarf.

"Please..." You whispered, backing yourself into a corner.

"I knew you were a human," He growled, voice gruff and raw. "You know you're not welcome here."

"I-I..." Your mind blanked with any defense you could have made.

Just as he took another step forward, a second larger figured barreled through the open doorway. He was covered by an oversized black hoodie and black face mask. The heavy black boots on his feet added more to his height. You saw your life flash before your eyes and you just knew you were doomed.

"You—" The new man moved forward in the blink of an eye and had the other man jacked up against the wall by the front of his shirt.

"What did I tell you?" The second man asked, voice muffled by the full-face white mask he wore.

"Look—" The first man began but stopped when the second tightened his grip. "Fuck fine, I'll go."

The second man said nothing, simply letting the other go for him to run out the door. He sighed, shoulders relaxing as he turned to you.

You were frozen where you sat, his dark eyes, through the dark shadow his long bangs casted, doing nothing to quell your fear.

"What's your name?" He suddenly asked.

"_-_____," You muttered, not taking your eyes off him as he began to walk around your house. His boots thunked against the wood floors as he investigated whatever he saw.

"Well ______," He turned to you and sighed. "My name's Jungkook."

He crouched in front of you, the chain hanging on his jeans jingling when it met the floor, pulling the bands around his ears off and removed his mask.

It felt like the air was promptly knocked out of you. Even in the dark you could make out beautiful features on his face; wide, sparkling doe eyes with long curly bangs that hung in them. He had pretty, delicate lips with a small freckle beneath and a sharp jawline.

He was young and really good looking.

"N-Nice to meet you, Jungkook..." You stuttered.

He cocked his head to the side, fully sitting on the floor in front of you with his legs spread and arms resting on his knees. His dark eyes analyzed you, scanning over your features and body.

"What are you doing here?" He asked, his voice portraying no identifiable emotion.

"I-I just found this e-empty house and—"

"No, I mean why are you here...on Palacios," He nibbled on his bottom lip as he stared at you.

"I um...I was traveling and had to make an emergency landing on the nearest planet," You explained.

"Why are you still here?" Jungkook's eyebrows were furrowed.

"My...my communications are down and Palacios doesn't have cell reception," You explained. "I attempted to send out an emergency beacon when I landed but there's no telling if it went through. And I've been too scared to try and make the trek back to see."

"It's probably been looted and dismantled by now for spare parts," He said, making you groan in despair.

"Are there any like...Embassy officials I can talk to? Government officials that can help me?" With every question, you felt your heart beginning to race with anxiety once more.

Jungkook's shoulders shrugged as he shook his head. "Do you not know anything about this place?"

"Only what's been released through the media," You replied honestly. "That you guys went into a lockdown or something."

"We don't...like outsiders here," He whispered before looking away. "There's no one who can help you. We're governless and we have no officials."

"Well how do you have laws a-and—"

"Does it look like we have laws, _____?" He snapped, making you flinch. "Look around. This isn't Earth. We don't have the luxury of being law-abiding citizens. We do what we have to to survive."

"I-I'm sorry I didn't mean—"

"Let's go," He cut you off again, standing up.

"Where?" You whispered, staring up at him.

"I said let's go," He growled, reaching down and grabbing your elbow. You whined when he aggressively jerked you to your feet, ignoring the painful grip he had on you.

"Wait! My things!" You complained, trying to break out of his harsh grip.

Jungkook growled, snatching up your backpack and tossing it over his shoulder.

"My sleeping bag..."

"You don't need it," He grumbled, yanking you out of the broken doorway.

As you walked, you noticed he tugged his mask back on — hiding his face. To your surprise, he pulled you only a few houses down from the one you had been in. He pulled out a key ring from the belt loops on his jeans and slid a key in the lock.

The house was still fairy dilapidated but it had clearly been renovated and fixed up to suit his needs. He hastily slammed the door behind him and locked the three locks that were there — a knob lock, deadbolt, and a simple latch lock like the one in the place you’d been hiding in.

The house was a bit bigger than the one you'd been in — it had an actual bedroom. All except a single window towards the back of the house and a window you could see in the bedroom were boarded up. Jungkook dropped your belongings on the floor with a thud and dropped to sit on the tattered couch in the living area.

"Um..." You stood awkwardly in the middle of the room, watching as he removed his mask again and tossed it away. His eyes cut to you and he raised a brow in question. "Why am I here?"

"What do you mean?" He asked, closing his eyes as he laid his head on the back of the couch.

"I mean...at your house, why...am I in your house?"

He chuckled at your question and you bit your lip at the sight of his crooked smirk. "Well, you were nearly killed over there. Did you want to spend your night there?"

"Well, no, but..."

"Look," He sat up and sighed. "There was no way you could survive on your own in this place. Actual Heajix can barely survive. So, I'm doing you a favor and helping you out, okay? The least you could say is thank you."

"I...thank you." It came out more as a question and Jungkook scoffed.

"You can sleep here," He mumbled, getting to his feet and stalking past you to his room. As he passed you, a sweet smell, delicate scent wafted off of him and you couldn’t help but inhale. It was nice.

You felt around your pockets and realized you had left your phone behind. You whined as you sat down on the couch, not willing to ask Jungkook to go and retrieve it for you. Jungkook's door clicked shut and you were left alone and in silence. It was dark, the moonlight from the back window barely reaching where you were sitting.

You curled up, shivering at the cool draft and your lack of a blanket. Closing your eyes, you hoped for sleep to overtake you.

Soft footsteps moved around you and your eyes fluttered open. Jungkook stood in the kitchenette, shuffling with something on a plate. Sitting up, you winced at how sore your muscles were from curled up on the small space all night. Your neck felt stiff and hurt when you moved it a certain way. 

"Um what time is it?" You asked, voice groggy from sleep.

"I don't know," He replied, not looking at you.

"What do you mean you don't know?" You asked.

He turned around, carrying a plate over to the coffee table and placing it down. He was wearing a loose white sweater and sweatpants, long curly hair messy and hanging in his eyes. "I mean...we don't exactly have a concept of time anymore. There aren't really functioning clocks so we all just...run on our own schedules."

"I see..." You watched him pick at some food on the plate and pop it in his mouth. It looked like some kind of diced meat. "What is this?"

"Food," He replied shortly, not offering any other information even as you glared at him. "Eat before you die of starvation."

You sighed but couldn't deny the hunger pains in your stomach. Albeit suspiciously, you took a piece of meat and popped it in your mouth. You hummed, finding nothing strange tasting about it — it tasted similar to ham.

The two of you finished it together and he leaned back on the couch with a groan, patting his stomach. You sat in silence, listening to the wind blowing outside.

"It's probably going to storm soon," He muttered suddenly, eyes drifting towards the window.

You hummed in response, picking at a thread around a hole in your jeans. You weren’t sure how to reply to him, truthfully his tough attitude and mannerisms intimidated you. The last thing you wanted to do was make him mad enough to kick you out and it seemed like he had a bit of a short fuse. 

"Do you want a shower?" He suddenly asked, making you jump.

"Um...yeah I guess," You dreaded taking another shower in the filthy water but it’d give you a chance to be away from him and relax a bit.

Jungkook led you to the bathroom and you were surprised by how well maintained it was. He grabbed a towel from a shelf on the wall and tossed it to you. Then without uttering another word, he shut the door and left you alone.

You were pleased to see a hot water handle and eagerly turned it. Then, much to your surprise, the water came out perfectly clean and clear. Without wasting a second, you eagerly stripped and stepped under the warm shower.

It felt like you were in there for ages, having to use some soap Jungkook had to clean yourself. You hoped he didn't mind, though it smelled very good.

When you stepped out, you felt fresher and you were surprised to see new clothes on the countertop.

He had come in while you were shower.

Your face burned hot, hoping he hadn't looked. Throwing on the clothes, you hummed at how clean and nice you felt for the first time since being on the planet. When you walked out of the bathroom, Jungkook was sitting on the couch with his eyes closed and arms over his chest like he was napping.

"H-How did you have clean water?" You asked, taking a seat beside him.

You heard him inhale and felt his body tense. For a second you thought he was going to yell at you, but instead he opened his eyes to look at you. "I hooked all my piping to a private water reservoir that continuously purifies the water."

"That's...impressive," You whispered. "How'd you learn to do that?"

He shrugged. "Took a lot of testing, trial and error with the purification. But my parents were mechanical engineers in Zlathe."

"Zlathe?" You asked.

"It was another city a long time ago," He replied, running a hand through his hair revealing his forehead.

"...Was? What do you mean?" You sat up straighter and he sighed.

"Before everything fell, Zlathe was a neighboring city even bigger than Yathe," He explained.

"I don't understand," You muttered. "What do you mean everything fell?"

"You really are ignorant," He chuckled, though it held no mirth. You couldn’t find it in you to be offended because it was true; but no one outside knew anything about the planet.

"Well it's not my fault your planet is a secret," You mumbled, crossing your arms over your chest.

"We were less developed than everyone...the other planets," His voice held nothing but spite as he spat out the words. "Palacios is the smallest and collectively they all decided, even as we rejected the idea, to create landfills here to dispose of their waste so their own planets didn't become a mess."

"So...that's what caused the pollution?" You asked.

He nodded. "The more toxic the air became, the more sick people became. Those who were able to leave did and those who couldn't were trapped. All of our government leaders left us without a word. Everything went to complete chaos."

"That's horrible! They just abandoned their citizens?" You gasped, eyes wide with shock.

"One by one the cities became desolate. Yathe is, from what we know, the only standing safe city. When the population became crammed into this last safezone those fucking Vorderans swept in and raided every nook and cranny they could. We went from 500,000 people to a mere maybe...20,000?"

"Vorderans?" You hummed. "The people of Vulia? Capital Planet for Fanet IV? Why did they do that?"

Jungkook scoffed. "Why would I tell you? So you can report it back to the Humans and they can take what's left of an already dying people? We're a doomed species — pushed to the brink of extinction over greed and classicism. Why do you think we kill any outside official that comes here, huh?"

"W-We just...everyone just said Heajix were very...private," You muttered, a little startled by his aggressive attitude.

"Yeah they would," He spat. "They don't want to have to explain the complete genocide and decimation of a planet they spearheaded."

"Did you say kill?" You suddenly whispered, brain catching up to what he’d previous confessed.

"Of course, any foreign person who comes to us...after we warned the Embassy to leave us alone...they sign their own death warrant," He said, absolutely no remorse in his voice.

"Is that why that guy broke in?" You asked, which he nodded at.

"Yeah, you were targeted by him even though it wasn't even discussed," When he heard you hum in confusion. "We may not have people in high positions telling us what to do but we do maintain some order. Any foreign person who comes here is watched and if they're deemed a threat we take them out. So far...every person has proved themselves to be so. But you...we hadn't caught you doing anything other than trying to survive and hide so we voted to leave you alone."

"So why did that guy—"

"He went off the deep end I guess, didn't trust you and wanted to take you out on his own terms to be safe. He'll be punished and dealt with appropriately," He said, pulling his sleeves of his sweatshirt up to show a wide expanse of tattoos written in a foreign text. "All criminals after punishment are made to have a tattoo on their skin detailing the nature and severity of the crime. It's kind of like a way to shame us for behaving that way. It’s a little piece of our culture we’ve maintained even after the fall."

You leaned closer, looking over the intricate text that was displayed. He had a handful from what you could tell.

"I take it you're not going to tell me what your crimes are?" You asked, unsurprised when he yanked his sleeve down harshly.

"What the hell happened to your arm?" He suddenly asked, changing the subject, eyes pinned to your arm.

When you looked down to follow his gaze, you were shocked to see a nasty purpling bruise around your elbow.

"I have no idea," You muttered. However, he grabbed your wrist and you gasped, attempting to yank yourself away. "That hurts, you know! Jeez, why are you so rough?"

"Rough?" He scoffed. "I'm barely even touching you!"

"Well, you've got a twisted concept of gentle," You muttered, rubbing your now sore wrist. "Oh."

"What?" He grumbled, pouting at having been chewed out by you.

"It's where you grabbed me yesterday," You muttered. "Jeez I knew you were rough but..."

"I wasn't that rough..." At the tone of his voice, you looked up and saw him frowning. He lightly ran his fingers over the bruise. "I didn't meant to hurt you."

"I..." You were shocked by how upset he seemed over it, showing actual concern. "It's okay...it'll heal. J-Just be more careful next time, okay?"

"I didn't realize how easy you are to hurt," He muttered, still staring at your bruise. "You're a delicate race, huh? I'll be more careful, I promise."

You smiled at him and nodded. His lips twitched upward in his own smile and the two of you fell into a comfortable silence.

The following day, Jungkook stood before you with a backpack on his shoulders. His mask was in place and he looked at you where you sat on his couch.

"When I leave, lock the door behind me," He ordered you, watching as you quickly nodded your head. "And don't open up until you're sure it's me, got it?"

"Got it," You replied, feeling anxious over the situation.

His boots stomped against the floor as he walked to the door, casting one strong glance at you over his shoulder before walking out and slamming it shut. You quickly raced over and slid the latch lock in place and twisted the deadbolt while he locked the knob. Left alone in the silence, you felt extremely uncomfortable.

You looked around, eyes falling on the door to Jungkook's bedroom. Debating for a moment, you decided he'd probably be gone long enough for you to have a peek.

Pushing the door open, you were pleased at how nice it smelled — Jungkook's clean scent permeating from every inch.

As you stepped inside, you noticed a pile of old, worn books in one corner. He had a table beside his bed with a picture frame on it. Taking a seat on his mattress, you grabbed the frame and examined it. There was a picture of Jungkook, albeit a bit younger, standing with a man and woman on either side of him and behind him a taller man who looked similar to Jungkook.

You opened the drawer of his table, having to pull hard as it seemed to be off the track. It was empty inside aside from a paper you couldn't read and a bottle of lotion. Humming, you simply pushed the drawer back closed and looked around the room some more.

Deciding there was nothing else worth looking at, you stepped out of his room and shut the door. Boredom struck immediately and you dropped down onto the couch and curled up.

The least you could do is take a nap.

Your rest didn't last long because you were startled awake by violent knocks on the door. From outside, you could hear Jungkook calling your name. Jumping to your feet, you scrambled to unlock the door and let him in. He sounded so panicked that your hands were shaking by the time you slid the latch lock open.

Jungkook burst in the second the door was open and promptly fell to the ground with a groan. You shut the door and shakily locked it again before turning to him.

"J-Jungkook? What happened?" You crouched down and helped him pull his backpack off.

He winced, making a hissing noise the second he was made to move. You gasped, noticing the way that he was holding his side — red seeping through his fingers.

"Oh my god, what happened?!" You cried, hands hovering above him not knowing what to do.

"J-Just a stupid accident," He groaned, the back of his head hitting the floor harshly when he tossed it back. The impact didn’t seem to bother him. "Was chasin' some animal and I fell. Caught myself on some scrap metal on the way down."

"Holy crap, how bad is it?" You urged him to move his hand so you could see his wound.

The metal had torn a hole in his shirt and you could see a deep gash across his ribs. There was blood gushing from it and you were worried about the possibility of infection.

"It needs to be cleaned and probably stitched, Jungkook," You muttered, watching him put his hand back over it to slow the bleeding.

"I don't have t-to clean it or stitch it," His eyebrows were drawn together and his jaw was clenched in pain.

"I have a first aid kit in my backpack," You stood up quickly, ignoring his protests, dashing over to where your backpack was leaning against the wall.

Zipping it open, you began to fish through your belongings searching for the little white box. You pulled out a towel, deciding it might be good to help clean him up some. You made a soft sound when you finally spotted the kit, pulling it out and holding it up in triumph.

Sitting beside Jungkook again, you helped him remove his shirt. There were a few tattoos and scars scattered along his chest and abdomen but you didn't have time to ogle at his naked body. You pressed the spare towel against his wound and apologized as he hissed in pain. His hand was covered red in blood — some of it having dripped down his wrist to his elbow. You noticed that his mask was gone as well.

"Okay, I'm going to put some antiseptic on it alright?" You asked, pulling the towel off slightly. "It's going to burn like...really bad but—"

"Just do it," He groaned. "Nothing can top this pain right now."

You sighed and ripped open an alcohol wipe. The second it touched the wound, Jungkook's entire body jerked and he let out a sharp word in his mother tongue that you assumed was a cuss. In another situation, you would have laughed at the reaction. Next, you cleaned it with some hydrogen peroxide, making sure to flush the wound as best you could.

"Wh-Where did you learn to do this?" He asked, voice tight with pain.

"Well...I have just basic knowledge from things I've seen on like TV and..stuff like that. So I don't actually know if I'm doing it right or not," You whispered. "But the point is it's getting cleaned, right?"

"Shit, I guess you're right," He mumbled, eyes focused on the ceiling above him.

"I-It's still bleeding, it really will need stitches...it's so deep," You whispered, watching as blood continued to seep through.

"Can you do it?" He asked.

"I don't know...the only thing we can do is try, right?" You were lucky you had a full first aid kit, complete with a sterile needle and thread.

It was quite dark and you had to lean close to see the edges of the wound. You took it slow, apologizing to Jungkook whenever the needle pierced the torn skin. Little by little, the wound was closed until you managed to tie a tight knot to ensure the stitches wouldn't open back up.

Sitting back, you let out a sigh of relief. "I have some pain medicine," You said, taking out a few tablets of Ibuprofen from the first aid kit.

"Thanks," He popped them in his mouth, wincing as he had to swallow them dry.

Then was a big sigh, his body finally relaxed against the floor. He blinked slowly, as if he was struggling to stay awake. You assumed his adrenaline rush crashed and he was growing tired — no doubt exhausted from the adrenaline crash.

"This is insane," He mumbled suddenly, voice sounding slurred.

"What is?" You questioned.

"Before I would just think of getting myself home safe and that'd be the end of it," His lashes fluttered as he fought the sleep that threatened to overtake him. "But this time...all I could think was that I had to get back to you so you would be safe. Unbelievable."

You couldn't help but smile, though he missed it as his eyes finally closed. In a matter of moments, his breathing evened out and you knew he fell asleep.

Right on the floor.

Chuckling, you shook your head and wandered to his bedroom to pull the blanket off his bed — just a thin throw blanket and one of his pillows. You returned to him and carefully, doing your best not to wake him, placed the pillow beneath his head and the blanket over his body.

Your own exhaustion seemed to catch up to you and you curled up on the couch, your own eyes shutting as you stared at Jungkook's sleeping form.

When you woke up, it was on your own. You saw Jungkook was still asleep and sighed. Quickly pulling yourself up, you wandered over to him. Sitting down, you peeled the blanket off of him. You moved his arm off his chest so you could look at his wound but you let out a harsh gasp at what you saw. Jungkook's eyes immediately popped open and sharply turned to look at you.

"What is it?" He asked, body relaxing when he realized it was just you.

"Y-Your wound..." You leaned down to get a closer look, looking at your uneven stitching over the red skin.

"What about it?" He hummed, looking down to take a look at himself.

"It's healed up..." Beneath the stitches, the skin was still reddened but there was no sign of the open wound that was once there. Just a puffy looking scar was left in its wake.

"Oh good," He sat up and stretched his arms — his joints popping at the action, making him groan. "Hand me my backpack, yeah?"

"What do you mean good?! Yesterday you were bleeding out on the floor a-and now you're acting like it's just okay?!" You cried, throwing your hands up in frustration.

He stared at you for a moment, looking confused before sighing. He rolled over and grabbed his backpack, pulling it into his lap and digging through.

"Eat something and then we'll talk, okay?" He pulled out a bar of something and when you opened it, it resembled a granola bar but was much softer.

When you took a bite, you were surprised that it tasted like meat. But it wasn't bad. Jungkook pulled out his own and quietly began eating. It was silent between the two of you, as you simply ate. Before long, you were finished and Jungkook simply threw the wrappers into his backpack.

"Now will you tell me?" You muttered, raising a brow when he sighed.

He stood up and moved over to the couch, leaving you kneeling beside his makeshift bed. He sat down and looked at you expectantly, making you rise to your feet and stumble over to sit beside him.

"I guess there's no reason to hide it," You scanned over him as he spoke, taking the opportunity to look over his body again. He was fit, no doubt, with faint abs and lovely, veiny forearms.

"So you have super healing abilities?" You asked quietly.

"We...our species produces a chemical naturally that can heal virtually anything," He explained. "It's in any fluid we excrete; even sweat. And it's in our blood, obviously."

"That's amazing..." You whispered, eyes drifting back to his wound. "Why did you let me take care of it if you knew it was going to heal up?"

"I...Because the other planets use us for it," He muttered, fists clenching. "Do you remember what I told you? About the Vorderans?" You nodded and he continued, "They...collected us for the chemical. They produce the highest quality super medicine in the solar system. And it's because they slaughtered thousands of us to get it."

"So...you didn't trust me to tell me?" You asked, though there was no tone to indicate you were trying to guilt him.

"No," He sighed. "But since you did take care of me...I figured I could at least give it a try, right?"

"Thank you, Jungkook," You smiled. "I'm really happy you're okay, you know. I was really worried. Without you, I'd be doomed here."

"That's very true," He smirked, relaxing into the couch. "You're absolutely helpless!"

"Hey!" You pouted. "You could teach me, you know?"

"Teach you how to survive out there?" He asked, nodding his head towards the door. You nodded and he shook his head. "You're too much of a target. I wouldn't be able to handle looking after you and trying to scavenge."

"I guess that's true," You muttered. "I just don't want to be a burden. You went out of your way to help me and I've done nothing in return for the fact you keep helping me."

He wore a frown as he looked at you. "You're not a burden. In fact, I actually appreciate having you around."

"You do?" You asked, your heart stuttering in your chest as he looked at you with sparkling eyes.

"Yeah," He smiled. "I hadn't realized how lonely I was. But with you here now, I feel a lot...happier. Lighter. It feels nice to not be alone."

"I...I'm happy I can make you feel that way, Jungkook," You whispered, meeting his eyes.

The two of you sat like that in silence. You felt a soft brush of Jungkook's fingers on your hand and he easily laced his fingers through yours.

You felt content; happy even.

You were curled up on the couch, unable to sleep through the howling sound of the wind outside. Rain was pouring down and the thunder was so loud your ears were ringing. Clouds blocked out the moon, blanketing you in complete and total darkness.

It was cold, Jungkook still hadn't given you a blanket and you were beginning to think he forgot. The storm had brought the temperature down drastically, leaving your teeth chattering in effect.

The storm was unlike anything you'd experienced on Earth. It was actually a bit scary.

You sat up, finally unable to take it anymore. There was no reason for you to suffer like you were.

You tiptoed over to Jungkook's bedroom and suddenly hesitated. You didn't want to wake him up for a silly blanket, you'd feel bad. Your shoulders sagged and you turned back to sit back down on the couch.

Somehow, you managed to doze off, curled up in a ball in an attempt to keep warm.

You were awoken very soon after by the weight of something warm being laid upon you. Eyes fluttering open, you met Jungkook's eyes. His brows were furrowed and when he saw you were awake, knelt down beside the couch.

"You're freezing, why didn't you ask me for a blanket?" He whispered, mindlessly tucking the blanket around you.

"I-I didn't want to wake you," You mumbled, voice wobbly from shivering.

"Don't worry about that," He grumbled. "I'd rather you wake me up than fucking freeze to death during a storm."

"I'm sorry," You whispered, eyes fluttering again as you finally warmed up. It felt so cozy beneath the blanket and it smelled just like Jungkook. "Thank you, Jungkook."

"Don't worry about it," He whispered, brushing some stray hair off your face as your eyes closed once again.

"It's my duty to take care of you now," He uttered once he was sure you were asleep.

The first time you noticed something was wrong was when you began to get dizzy randomly — usually accompanying a roaring headache. You ignored it, however, choosing to nap off the headache and continue your days on like usual.

Jungkook began going out for scavenging more and more — bringing home killed rodents and other animals. Sometimes he would come home with some rations or a snack from when the world was a functioning metropolis.

"Are you feeling okay?" He asked one morning while the two of you ate some breakfast you prepared.

"Huh?" You looked up from your plate at him.

He was gazing at you, brows furrowed as usual but his head was cocked to the side. "You just look really dazed. And you're barely touching your food."

"Ah, I just..." You cleared your throat. "I lost my appetite, I guess."

"Well, I'm going to go out again today," He said, eating the last of what was on his plate. "I'll be back tonight as usual, alright?"

"Yeah, be careful okay?" You whispered, watching as he hesitated staring at you.

He lifted his hand and placed it softly on your head, smiling.

"I'll see you soon."

Left alone, you ate as much of the food as you could before you had to toss it. You found yourself laying on the couch once again, feeling sluggish and lazy. Deciding a nice nap was in order, you let your eyes flutter shut.

When you woke back up, it felt like you were hit by a bus. You groaned, your head pounding making you whine. Sitting up proved to be a bad move as you felt your stomach turn. Immediately you let yourself flop back down.

Of course you'd get sick on a dystopian planet with no access to medicine.

The hours ticked by and there was no sign of Jungkook. You'd gotten accustomed to his schedule and the general time frame you both ran in so you knew he was well overdue for his return.

You became antsy, pacing around and taking naps when you could. The cold you'd acquired seemed to only get worse as you were plagued with an unfortunate fever. Hiding under your blanket didn't help and being out from the blanket didn't help either. You whined, knowing you didn't have any medicine to help break your fever.

Feeling crappy and concerned about Jungkook made tears sting your eyes; you were always a cry baby when sick.

The door opening finally is what woke you up. Jungkook grumbled, slamming the door.

"Why the hell wasn't the door properly locked?" He snapped, dropping his bag on the floor with a bang.

"Hey...that's loud," You whined, flinching at the way your head began to pound.

"Answer me—hey...what's the matter?" He asked, losing his anger for concern.

"I'm sick," You complained, watching as he kneeled down.

"Sick?" He mumbled, looking over your face — noticing your glassy eyes.

"I have a fever," You explained with a sigh.

He hummed, bringing his hand up to press his palm against your forehead. He hissed, pulling back and sighing.

"I was so scared you weren't coming back, you were gone so long," You whispered, shakily sitting up.

Jungkook's hands hovered in the air, ready to help or catch you if you fell. "I'm sorry, I went a little further than I usually do. But I was only gone overnight. It wasn't that long."

"It felt like days," You whined, tears stinging your eyes.

"I'm sorry," He whispered, cupping your cheek and brushing some hair away from your eye. "I didn't mean to upset you so much."

"It's okay, I'm just...a crybaby," You muttered, cheeks flushing at the fond smile that crossed Jungkook's face — a cute bunny-like smile.

"I...can help you feel better, if you'd let me," He asked, moving to sit beside you on the couch. "My species can cure illnesses, remember?"

"How will you do that?" You asked, voice a little slurred.

"Well..." In the moon's illumination, you could see his ears burning red. "I...I can kiss you?"

Your mind blanked at those words, blinking several times to take in what he said. You recalled what he said about his saliva, or any fluid, possessing the chemical to cure illnesses. Still, despite the fact it was for medicinal purposes, your stomach fluttered with butterflies and your heart stuttered in your chest the idea of kissing him.

"I-I don't mind..." You uttered, subconsciously licking your lips.

He cupped your cheek, leaning down and ever so softly brushed his lips against yours. When you sighed happily at the contact, he surged forward and pulled you into a much deeper kiss. Your lips moved in unison and you couldn't help but reach up to wrap your arms around his neck.

Shuddering, you held in a whimper when his tongue met your lips. You eagerly opened your mouth, shuddering as the taste of him lingered upon your tongue. Your fingers clutched at his hair as you continued to deepen the kiss.

After several long, lovely seconds of the kiss — he finally pulled away. There was a small strand of saliva still connecting the two of you. He brushed his thumb across your lips, breaking the strand.

The two of you sighed, falling silent but he kept his hand on your cheek.

"You should rest now, you'll feel better soon," He whispered, standing up and stepping away.

You missed his touch immediately, and watched him until he disappeared behind his bedroom door.

You curled up under the blanket, fingers pressed to your lips as the feeling of him kissing you lingered. The way your heart began to race made you sigh heavily; what an effect he had on you.

The next day, you were feeling much better and were back to eating properly. You could tell Jungkook was happy; he was positively beaming and smiling at you every chance he got.

It was cute.

The two of you were playing a card game; using some cards you'd had in your bag for when you were bored on the trip through Fanet IV. You were teaching him Earth games and how to play.

You were just about to beat him for the 5th time at Go Fish when there was a heavy knock on the door. Both of you jumped and Jungkook was on his feet in a second.

His whole body was tense and his fists were clenched so tightly that his knuckles were white. He carefully moved in front of you, shielding your body from the door subconsciously.

"Wh-What is it?" You asked, keeping your voice low.

"No one should come here," He whispered back. "Go hide in the bedroom, alright?"

"But Jungkook—"

"Just do it!" He snapped, giving a gentle push to your back to urge you into the open doorway.

You spared him a longing glance before he pulled the door shut with a soft click.

You took a seat on his bed, listening through the thin walls as Jungkook's heavy footsteps moved towards the door. There was a loud click as he unlocked the deadbolt.

There was a quick beat of silence before a slam so loud that you had to cover your mouth to keep from shrieking.

"Fuck! What the fuck are you doing here?!" You heard Jungkook shout.

"Followed you home," Came a gruff, almost bored-sounding reply. "You weren't very smart. Didn't even notice you were being tailed."

"Fuck," You heard Jungkook swear.

"Now, I hope you make this easy for me and just come along nicely," The stranger asked. “Maybe if you tell me where more are hiding, I'll go easy on you.”

Jungkook didn't offer a reply but you could hear heavy boots approaching the bedroom door. You kept your hands over your mouth to keep from making a peep as you slid off the bed and huddled yourself into a dark corner.

The stranger suddenly shrieked and there was a heavy thud of someone falling to the floor. Jungkook let out a string of curses before there was a crash, grunting and scuffling filling your ears.

What was going on?

From where you hid, you could see a little box beneath Jungkook's bed. As quietly as you could, you pulled it out and opened it up.

It was an array of several different knives. Eyes flicking over to the door, you hatched an idea to hopefully help.

If Jungkook didn't win, the man was going to take him away. The mere thought of that happening sent a spark of terror through you.

Picking up the biggest knife that was in the box, you tiptoed over to the door. You could still hear the two of them fighting, the sound covering up the soft click of the door opening. Peeking through the crack, you were shocked to see the table smashed completely. The man was pinning Jungkook down by his throat. Jungkook was struggling, obviously unable to get air. The stranger laughed mockingly down at him.

Your hands and knees were trembling as you quickly crept out.

"You barely even put up a fight," The stranger spat at Jungkook. "You Heajix never were able to take us on though, isn't that right? That's why we were able to kill so many of you! Such incredible strength yet still unable to protect yourselves. Pathetic.” 

You couldn't even register his words as you finally stood behind him. Jungkook's eyes were fluttering and he was dangerously close to passing out.

Steeling yourself, you raised the knife overhead and brought it down as hard as you could. The man shrieked so loud that your ears were ringing. The knife was stuck in his back, buried more than halfway through. Part of you felt proud for putting the power behind the attack.

Jungkook let out a desperate gasp, finally getting the oxygen he desperately needed. While you were distracted looking at Jungkook, the strange man spun around and grabbed you by your throat.

"I knew there was someone else here," The man snarled, squeezing your neck as hard as he could.

You couldn't even make a sound of pain as your feet were lifted off the ground. Your vision was swimming but you could make you Jungkook getting to his feet. The man, you noticed, had strange glowing eyes — as if a light were coming from behind them and illuminating the whites.

In the blink of an eye, Jungkook ripped the knife from your assailants back — making him drop you in shock. You hit the ground hard, knocking what little air you had left in you right out.

Jungkook was on the man before he could even blink, stabbing him several times until he was on his knees. Jungkook paused, chest and shoulders heaving as he glared down at the man.

Then, you watched with wide eyes as Jungkook lifted his leg and kicked the man so hard his body physically flew back. The man was limp, blood dripping from his mouth and nose — eyes open and unseeing.

"Holy shit..." You whispered from where you were still laying on the floor.

"Are you alright?" Jungkook asked, helping you sit up with a gentleness that had seemingly appeared out of nowhere. His hands were coated in the intruders blood but you didn't mind.

Throwing your arms around his shoulders, you knocked him down on his butt. You hugged him tight, sighing when you felt him wrap his own arms around you.

"I-I didn't know what to do," You whispered. "He was saying he was going to take you away. I saw you were about to pass out and I knew he would take you. I'm sorry I got involved."

"Hey, it's okay," Jungkook pulled back and smiled. "You saved me! Maybe you aren't as helpless as I thought."

You smiled, shaking your head. Then, without thinking, you leaned forward and pressed your lips against his. He froze for a fraction of a second but quickly cupped the back of your head and returned the kiss.

When you parted, you asked, "So what do we do with him?"

"The Vorderans are going to come looking for him when they notice he's not reported back to them," Jungkook mumbled, looking over his shoulder at the body. "I'll take him out somewhere and dump him off where they won't be able to link it to me."

"You're going to leave right after that?" You asked, your shoulders slumping.

"I shouldn't be gone long, _____," He smiled, brushing his thumb over your pouted lips.

"But what if there are more of them? What if they take you away and I don't even know!"

As if sensing the panic in your voice, he cupped your cheeks and brought your gaze to him.

"That won't happen," He whispered, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead — sending your heart into painful palpitations. "It'll be easier to hide out there and easier to lose them if they do find me. I promise, I'll come back and everything will be okay."

"I'm just...scared, Jungkook," You admitted, feeling your eyes burn.

"I know," He sighed, pressing another kiss to your forehead. Your cheeks immediately felt like they were on fire. "But I would never leave you like that."

You clung onto him as long as he allowed you before he decided it was best to get going. He told you to hide in his room until he got back and to just rest.

"Don't open the door," He warned, though he already knew he didn't have to worry about that.

Left alone, you didn't know what to do with yourself. You'd watched Jungkook lift the body like it was nothing — which only reminded you of what the Vorderan has said; Heajix just had incredible physical strength.

You had a much better concept of time since you weren't sick and you were sure 2 days had passed since you'd last seen Jungkook. You could barely sleep, anxiety plaguing every second that he was gone.

You'd taken to sleeping in his bed, taking comfort in his scent surrounding you. Thankfully, Jungkook had managed to stock up on food so you were able to properly eat in his absence. Though it was more a mechanical task to pass the time than it was for actually sustaining you.

It hadn't occurred to you how much he had changed until you were laying in his bed one night. You thought back to the rough, cold exterior he had when you first met him. And now you were blessed with his smile and comforting caresses.

He made your heart ache in the best way and you wanted to hold him and have him kiss you over and over again. He was so sweet and did his best to take care of you.

You'd really been lucky that he was around when he was that night.

The fact he hadn't returned didn't help quell the fears of more Vorderans being around just waiting for someone to come around. For a Heajix to take away.

You didn't think you would hate an alien planet over the sake of another alien race but you knew the Heajix had been treated unfairly. It was cruel and the fact it was just allowed to happen and no one cared really made you angry.

If you ever got back to Earth you were going to do something to help.

You were lost thinking about the things you could do to help when the front door clicked open.

A spark of fear went down your spine as you sat straight up in the bed. Through the door and walls, you could hear heavy footsteps moving around.

They moved to the door and paused. You held your breath, pulling the covers up to your chin as you watched the door creak open.

A black head of fluffy hair popped in and smiled when he saw you sitting there.

"I was wondering where you—!" He was cut off by you flying off the bed and throwing yourself into his arms.

"You're home!" You gasped, burying your face in his neck. You didn't bother fighting the tears that tumbled down your cheeks.

"Yeah..." You could hear the smile in his voice as he wrapped his arms around you, fisting the back of your shirt tightly as if you would slip away. "I'm home."

"I was so worried and..." Your cheeks burned before you muttered, "I missed you."

Reaching up, he cupped both your cheeks in his hands, making you look up at him. You leaned into the feeling of his touch on your skin as he wiped your tears away ever so carefully. He leaned down, pressing his lips against yours.

"I missed you too," He smiled, pecking your lips again. "But I'm back just like I promised I would be. I told you I'd never leave you, right?"

"You're right," You whispered, moving forward to kiss him again. He eagerly reciprocated and you whined into his lips.

He gripped your hips, rough and harsh. You winced, pulling your lips away slightly only for him to chase them — muttering a soft apology before relaxing his grip.

Neither of you wasted time moving to the bed. With your back pressed against the mattress and his wide shoulders above you, you couldn’t help the shiver running down your spine.

Wrapping your arms around his neck, you pulled him down for another kiss.

“I’ve wanted you for so long,” He breathed against your lips.

“Please,” You whispered, reaching down to tug at the hem of his dirty shirt.

“So pretty when you beg,” He growled, sitting up on his knees to pull the shirt off.

Immediately, your hands were roaming across his chest — grazing over scars and tattoos.

He groaned when your fingers brushed over his pebbled nipples. Leaning down, he nipped against the sensitive skin of your neck. As you sighed in pleasure, he began to push your own shirt up until he was able to toss it away.

Sitting up, he let out a curse at the sight of your bare breasts. One large hand cupped one, thumb rolling the nipple harshly until you whimpered. His lips moved down your neck to take the other nipple into his hot mouth, tongue flicking the bud. Your hands wound into his hand, back arching to get more of the delicious feeling.

“Jungkook, please…” You whined, arching your hips upwards. “I-I want you so much.”

“Yeah?” He groaned against your breast, moving to take your other perked nipple into his mouth. “Who would have figured I’d already have you begging?”

“I missed you so much, Jungkook,” You whined, sniffling softly as the emotions came rushing back. “I need you to touch me, please.”

“I’m sorry, baby,” He whispered, leaning back up to peck your lips.

In one swift move, your pants were tugged down your legs until you were left in just your panties. He hummed cupping your heat through the fabric, easily finding your clit and pressing against it. You sighed, head rolling back as you ground your hips down into his touch. Unable to take it, you reached down and tugged your panties off. He allowed you, watching as you kicked them away and spread your legs for him.

“Fuck,” He groaned, dropping onto his stomach between your legs. “So pretty and wet.”

Your legs trembled as he slid two fingers between your folds, spreading them to expose your leaking entrance. He groaned, low in his chest before quickly diving in to catch some of your arousal on his tongue. You sighed, eyes fluttering close as he swirled his tongue over your clit.

“Ah, Jungkook!” You cried, gripping his hair.

“Fuck,” He growled, pulling back slightly. “Does that feel good, baby?”

“G-Gentle,” You whined, gripping his hair tighter. “It’s sensitive.”

He didn’t respond, simply chuckled before diving back in. He took your clit into his mouth and sucked until your back arched. Soon, he introduced his fingers — easily sliding two in. There was a slight burn but it lasted only a second.

“You can take 3, right?” He chuckled, rolling his tongue over your clit. “You’re gonna need that many to even think of trying to take my knot.”

“Kn-Knot?” You gasped, unable to wrap your head fully around his words as he pumped the two digits in and out.

Your hips bucked when he hit your g-spot. Your eyes rolled as he continued to abuse the spot while playing with your clit in any way he could.

“I’m gonna cum soon, Kook,” You whined, unaware the pet name had slipped through your lips.

He growled, viciously pounding his fingers upwards and suckling your clit into his mouth. Your mouth opened in a silent scream, a tight coil of pleasure winding in your stomach. Opening your eyes, you looked down to see his bangs matted to his forehead with sweat. His eyes were closed and his brows were furrowed in concentration. He looked like he was in utopia himself.

What broke the cord, however, was when he eased the third finger into you. You gasped, back arching as you cried out his name — cumming around the digits. He didn’t stop, fucking your spasming hole and sucking on your twitching clit throughout your entire high until you were whining and pushing him away.

He separated his mouth from you with a lewd pop and slid his fingers out. You felt empty, clenching around nothing as he popped his cum soaked fingers in his mouth. His eyes rolled back at your taste and he chased what was left on his lips until there was nothing left of your cum.

He stood at the foot of the bed, unbuttoning his jeans and letting them slide to the floor until he could step out of them. He wasn’t wearing any underwear and you nearly drooled at the sight of his hard cock— weeping at the flushed, red tip with a soft swell at the base of his cock.

You scooted forward on your knees, wrapping your hand around his shaft and leaning forward to slide your tongue of the slit. He sighed, head falling back on his shoulders as you took the thick head on your mouth and sucked. The taste of his precum was delectable — salty-sweet with a bitter tang.

“You’ll make me cum too fast with your pretty lips on me like that, baby,” He whispered, gripping your hair to pull you away.

You whined at the loss but let him urge you onto your back. Your feet hanging off the end of the bed and Jungkook standing at the end with a fist wrapped around his cock made you lick your lips. He looked so powerful standing over you like he was.

“Scoot back,” He ordered, crawling onto the bed after you.

With your head in the pillows, you spread your legs for him. Knees on either side of his waist, you both looked down to watch as he slid the head of his cock between your wet folds — coating himself in your juices. A split second of hesitation as he positioned his tip at your entrance felt like an eternity.

“Are you sure you want to…?” He asked softly, mindlessly slapped your clit with the head of himself. 

“Please,” You gasped, wrapping your hand in his hair to tug him down.

Your mouths simultaneously fell open as he pressed inside, the fat head spreading your walls open. The sound was wet as he sunk inside, dirty and obscene. Your eyes rolled back as he finally bottomed out — the base of him almost as thick as his head.

He dropped down onto his elbows beside your head, pulling you in for another kiss as he began to thrust in and out of your clenching walls.

Every time he sunk inside, he grazed your g-spot making you moan.

“So fucking tight,” He growled. “I don’t know if you’ll be able to take my knot, babygirl.”

“K-Kook—”

“Fuck!” He snarled, cock twitching at the sound of the nickname, slamming his cock into you harshly, making you whined. “Keep calling me that.”

“Kook!” You cried, scrambling to claw at his muscled back.

“I’m gonna knock you up, beautiful,” He breathed, chuckling when he felt you clench around him. “Oh? You like the sound of that? Tell me.”

“Pl-Please kn-knock me up, Kook,” You begged, voice breathy as you fought back sobs of pleasure.

“Yeah, sound so pretty begging for my cum,” He chuckled, reached down to find your swollen clit. “How about you cum for me first?”

Your mouth fell open as everything became even more intense. He didn’t stop the rapid circles on your clit until you were crying out his name and arching. You gushed around him, walls spasming uncontrollably as he fucked you through the high.

As you came down, everything became more intense and sensitive. Every time he sunk inside, the base of his cock would catch at your entrance and stretch you just a tad more. You clung to him, eyes closed as he fucked his knot into your sensitive walls.

“I’m gonna cum,” He warned, suddenly pausing balls deep — his knot popped into your walls, swollen big enough that he couldn't pull back out.

You could feel his cock as it pulsed inside of you — a hot rush of cum immediately following. His head fell into the crook of your neck as he moaned and trembled above you. The knot at the base of his cock throbbed — urging more and more cum out of his cock.

He chuckled darkly, looking down at your swelling tummy — having been stuffed full of his cum that couldn’t escape around his knot.

Your cunt clenched around him and you whined. You felt so full but it felt so good.

Jungkook's nimble fingers found your clit and began to circle the hardened bud in brutal circles. With a dark smirk on his lips, he met your gaze where your eyes were wide and your mouth was open in a silent moan.

"That's it...give it to me, baby," He ordered, grinding his hips against you — his knot and cock stirring your sensitive walls up. “Cum on my knot for me, like a good girl.” 

Your head fell back against the pillow as your back arched. The both of you moaned in unison at your orgasm, the tight squeeze and gush from your orgasm set him off again. Tightening his grip on your hips made you whine but the pain blended into the pleasure as Jungkook's knot throbbed as more cum poured into your already well-filled cunt. Slowly, his body relaxed and he heaved a sigh before beginning to change your positions.

His knot tugged at your walls, making you both hiss. You laid side by side, your head resting on his arm.

As you both caught your breath, you felt his knot slowly shrink until he was able to pull out completely. You whimpered at the gush of cum that followed — oozing out of your stretched entrance and staining the bed beneath you.

He groaned, dropping back onto his stomach between your legs. Feeling embarrassed, you moved to close your legs but his strong hands caught you and forced them back open. You covered your face with your hands and whined as he suddenly slid his tongue across your cum-soaked folds.

Absolutely obscene sounds of him moaning and licking you clean filled the space. Your hips jerked in oversensitivity whenever he brushed over your clit.

Sliding his tongue into your entrance, he caught and swallowed down everything he could reach. Him eating his own cum out of you had your walls clenching again and he chuckled before pulling away.

Pulling your hands away from your heated cheeks, he leaned down and pressed his lips against yours. You whined, circling your arms around his neck as he fed his cum into your mouth for you to swallow.

You moaned at the taste of him, swallowing everything he gave you — continuing to kiss long after you swallowed it. The remnants of his cum lingered on your tongue and on his lips.

Pulling back, he leaned his forehead against yours and moved to lay on his side beside you once again. Wrapping his arms around your waist, he pulled your body close to his.

The two of you dissolved into a comfortable silence; his fingers tracing random shapes along your skin and you taking in his sweet scent and enjoying the warmth of his arms around you.

You were sitting with Jungkook on the floor in front of the couch. Since the table was broken, the two of you were using the couch as a makeshift table. He had an array of papers and old book across the surface and had been spending the last two days teaching you to read the Heajix written alphabet. It was difficult and you frequently confused letters but Jungkook was patient — and gave you kisses whenever you got something right which was great incentive.

Unfortunately, the relaxing atmosphere was broken by a series of knocks on the front door. Jungkook was on his feet immediately, knife drawn and at the ready.

You stayed back, watching as he approached the door and slowly unlocked it. You watched as he took a deep breath and threw the door open.

"What—" Jungkook was at a loss. There was a man standing at the door with his hands up to show he was unarmed.

"My name is Hakyeon," He said, motioning to his badge. "I work for the Interplanetary Embassy on Earth. We received an Emergency beacon and we've been told the human was here."

"Holy shit! It actually got through?!" You cried, jumping to your feet and running over to the open door. "Why did it take you so damn long?"

Hakyeon looked confused, shaking his head. "We received it only 2 days ago...I was the nearest representative and was tasked with finding you."

"Weird..." You mumbled, shrugging your shoulders. "I guess I can go home now, right?"

"If that's what you wish still, yes," He replied, eyeing Jungkook by your side.

"Um," You cleared your throat. "Your ship will be nearby right?"

"Yes, I'll...wait for you there," Hakyeon said, taking the hint.

The door shut and Jungkook was silent.

"Jungkook—"

"I guess you're leaving, right?" He asked, keeping his eyes down. "There's no logical reason for me to ask you to stay here...it's dangerous and you should be somewhere safe."

"But Jungkook..." You reached forward to touch him but he backed away.

"If I'm honest, ______," He wandered away, leaving you to watch him. His voice was shaky, wobbling with the onslaught of tears. "I really don't want you to go and I know that's selfish! But I really don't think I can be alone again. Especially after finding someone I can actually love."

"Jungkook!" You snapped, making him look at you. You sighed speedily walking up to him and pressing your lips to his before he could back away. "I love you too."

"But—"

"Come with me," You whispered, clutching the front of his shirt in your hands. "Come back to Earth with me. We'll find someone there who will help. The Embassy would be more than willing to assist in the cleanup and protection of Palacios and Heajix. You can speak for everyone here who is struggling to survive and those you haven't."

"You want me to come with you?" He breathed, covering your hands with his. Tears still fell from his eyes but in a matter of seconds, he was smiling and pulling you against him in a hug so tight it knocked the air out of you.

"Of course I do, stupid!" You laughed, hugging him back as tight as you could. "Why would I leave you when you refused to leave me, huh?"

"...I love you," He whispered, giving you another kiss.

"Let's get our things together," You said before the two of you separated.

Jungkook packed his bag with anything important, sentimental or not. You noticed he packed his picture away with a sad smile.

Once the two of you were ready, you took his hand and walked out the door. He paused and looked behind him, at the house he'd been living in for the longest time. The boarded up windows and the water reservoir he'd spent ages perfecting.

You squeezed his hand, drawing his attention back to you. He smiled, taking the first step away.

You felt yourself relax against the seat once the two of you were on the craft. Jungkook was gripping your hand tight — it was hurting a bit but you didn't say anything. His gaze was locked on the window, watching as his home planet disappeared from view.

The surface was covered in a green, gaseous layer of pollution and smog that he seemed almost surprised to see. The pollution of the planet was most evident one outside of the planet's atmosphere.

"I'm happy you're here, Jungkook," You whispered, leaning your head on his shoulder.

"I am too," He replied, resting his head against yours as he watched the stars and planets pass by until Palacios was out of view.

[ymiwritesstuff]

Lack of You | Ch. 4

Hey hey sorry this took so long, been really busy BUT this chapter is so far the longest one, so I hope that’s enough to make up for the slow update schedule. This one has a lot of flashbacks, which means more Childe action! And a certain other character will be making a minor appearance. Hope you enjoy!

Genshin Impact

Yandere!Childe/Tartaglia x Fem!Reader

Summary: The terms of the contract were set in stone, and the past was quickly becoming a blur. The time spent in Liyue was healing you significantly, but some pain still lingered.

Notes: Abuse, angst, gaslighting, obsessive themes, yandere themes, reader is getting better and Zhongli is there lol

Ch.1 | Ch.2 | Ch.3 | Ch.4 | Ch.5

Also posted on AO3!

18+ ONLY! MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!

“Mama! I found him! Quickly!”

The reflection in the mirror never stared back at you, your eyes too occupied with trying to treat the fading marks of abuse on your skin. The ointment you had been given on the very first day of your chaotic arrival had done its job fairly well. Daily application of the pale substance had reduced the color and size of the vicious bruises that only served as a grim reminder of events you wished to forget.

And you almost had.

What occurred during those months had become but a thick fog of uncertainty in your head. Only small images and lingering tingles on some parts of your body remained. You could barely recall anything from a few months ago coherently, and even when you tried to, just for the sake of a simple test to see how much you could remember, your mind drew a blank. 

Perhaps you should have been happy about the lack of recollection. After all, in the core of your being, that’s what you coveted. A blank canvas you could fill with colors as you desired.

Yet the recurrent images of those horrible things you experienced would flash in your vision under different circumstances. When you caught people staring, when your fingers brushed against the darkened marks on your shoulder, or just before you woke up from a nightmare. 

All these things awakened a sense of qualm in the pit of your stomach, and likely triggered parts of those misty memories that your consciousness unknowingly attempted to shield you from.

“Oh, my dear boy! We were so worried about you!”

How long had it been?

The 14-year-old sat still on the snowy ground as his mother cradled him in her protective arms, eyes distant and dull like the depth of the abyss he had fallen into. 

His battle-hardened gaze lacked its usual sparkles of curiosity, the young boy’s expression rid of the brightness that once adorned it. The worried looks and cries of his sisters went unnoticed by him, his mind too lost in his newly found desires of a warrior.

Until a voice brought him back.

“Are you okay?”

That’s when his eyes found their target.

The feeling of your fingertips making contact with the bottom of the jar as you scooped the last bits of product pulled you to the surface of the strange memory. Your brows frowned as you looked down at the now empty jar you held with a strangely strong grip. You sighed. You’d have to ask for more.

Your eyes scanned your body through the mirror, the ointment on your skin glistening under the warmth of the lanterns. You looked healthy enough. You had regained your appetite, some of the light had returned to your eyes and you felt a lot better physically. The marks were slowly fading. And so too were a fraction of the memories plaguing you.

Donning the long-sleeved shirt you had gotten rather familiar with over the past week or so you stepped out of the bathroom of the medical facility for hopefully the final time. Mr. Zhongli had arranged a much-anticipated meeting with you, no doubt related to the new home that you still had a hard time believing. 

The contract was on your mind constantly. Whether it was due to an underlying enthusiasm or the dominating paranoia, you didn’t know. All you knew was that it was a necessary step to take if you wished to leave your past behind fully. A daunting task that loomed over you, but so very necessary.

You hadn’t seen Shu since your outburst some days ago, and you secretly wished you didn’t run into her today either. You subconsciously avoided her out of sheer embarrassment at your actions. The way you snapped at her when she only spoke the truth and tried to help you weighed on you more than you would have liked to admit. It was stupid, childish and you wished you had the courage to apologize.

With hurried steps fueled by anticipation, you left the medical facility behind, hoping to get your life back in order.

“The Fatui?”

He nodded at you, the woe in your gaze worsening when you caught him grinning.

“Father’s decision.” He strolled around the room, eyes glimmering in what you could only think was some sort of excitement. “Quite brilliant, don’t you think?”

You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. You couldn’t believe what you were seeing. The boy before you, once so frightened and hesitant, had become obsessed with battle, obsessed with the chance to fight the strongest of foes all the while wearing a smile so frighteningly fierce it made you shiver. Your childhood friend, who had caused butterflies to flutter in your core so many times, had completely changed in those three days he had been missing.

It made your stomach churn.

He glanced at you, seemingly noticing your unsure expression as he quickly approached you, taking a gentle hold of your hand.

“You don’t have to look so sad, (Name).” He smiled at you. So genuinely it almost made you forget everything. He ran his thumb across the skin on the top of your hand, looking into your glossy (E/C) eyes with a tender gaze of his own.

“I know how you must feel but trust me when I say that nothing has changed.” He gave your hand a squeeze. “Nothing between us has changed.”

His easy smile dug itself into the depths of your heart and made it flutter. His eyes, while dull and almost lifeless, still looked at you so earnestly it almost tore you apart. His words carried by his voice with utmost gentleness reached your ears and echoed in your head. 

“...Will you come back?” You carefully asked. The Fatui had always awakened a sense of suspicion within you but perhaps, much like his father thought, the strict military detachment would help him deal with his hunger for battle. 

Still, despite his sudden shift in demeanor, you cared for him, and the thought of him being away from you broke your heart.

His smile widened and morphed into something more reassuring. Bringing your hand to his lips while keeping those azure eyes on you caused you to crack the tiniest of smiles at him.

“I’ll always come back.”

And you believed him.

The crimson stairs creaked lightly under you as you made your way to the designated place. You never expected your new home to be beyond the lavish-looking stairs that were sprinkled across the harbor. You were nervous, but for the first time, it wasn’t out of irrational fear. The pit in your stomach tingled in what could only be described as… excitement.

It felt strange. To feel something so normal after what had happened. You wondered if you could allow yourself to feel something as mundane as excitement. However, you couldn’t deny the strange warmth that spread across your being the more you thought about the fact that you were indeed going to have a home of your own. You were healing.

Once you reached the end of the stairs, it didn’t take long for you to notice the familiar figure standing in front of the door that no doubt led to the apartment you would inhabit.

“Mr. Zhongli?” You called out, grabbing the gentleman’s attention who quickly turned to you.

“Ah, (Name). How are you?” he greeted, that pleasant smile that had gotten etched to your memory from the very first meeting decorating his features. You gave him a small smile of your own.

“Better each day,” you answered honestly, the need to hide behind an invisible wall fading the more you spoke to him. 

It had only recently dawned on you that you didn’t need to try to conceal everything that had happened to you. Especially from someone like him. He was the one who found your unconscious body on a rainy day after all. Shu’s words tended to come back to haunt you whenever you thought about it, and it made you feel all the more guilty.

“I am most glad to hear that.”

There was a sense of relief on his face as his warm smile somehow got even more hospitable. After your last fateful meeting during which you signed the contract, you had seen glimpses of him through the windows of the facility you had stayed in. He would be working, talking to citizens and merchants, each time with the most thoughtful expression gracing his face.

Your eyes would glue themselves on him, that peculiar aura that surrounded him pulling you towards it in the most bizarre way. His lips would move as he spoke, and though his voice was mute, you could still feel the pleasant waves of his speech as you had during your previous meeting.

Something flickered in your core whenever he would glance at you, those golden irises housing something other-worldly in them. His eyes, they were almost inhuman with their warm radiance and the sharp edges of his lashes. You could swear you had seen them glow a couple of times.

“Shall we?” 

He placed a confident hand on the handle of the wooden door and turned to you. He seemed pleased with himself, his fulfilled expression being the most obvious sign of his satisfaction. You had no clue what your new home had in store and the content smile of the mysterious gentleman was making you feel like it was so much more than you could have ever even dared to hope for. It made you almost anxious, but you remained composed and gave a confident nod.

Mr. Zhongli opened the door for you, inviting you in with his graceful hand and calming voice: “After you.” You could only smile for a split second as a response, the warm lighting of the interior inviting you in.

With careful steps, you entered, holding your own hands and keeping them close to your body. Your heart raced, this time not because of fear, but rather of a refreshing nervousness that was eager to see the place you would call home. 

Your eyes scanned the place. It wasn’t too sizeable, perfect for a single person. The decor was elegant, with lit lanterns adorning the walls, doorframes, and the low table right in the middle of the living space. The warm brown color of the furniture was welcoming, and the gold trim of the bedsheets you could see behind an intricate folding screen added a sense of richness and luxury you had never seen anywhere you had ever lived.

The front door closed behind you, but your senses failed to pay attention to it, as your awe-struck eyes glued themselves on perhaps the most astonishing element of the apartment; a balcony. An open, welcoming balcony.

You instinctively walked towards it, the red railing matching those of the stairs littered all over the harbor inviting you in. The fresh breeze coming from the vast sea hit your face as you made it outside, gently placing your hands on the wooden railing. Below you the bustling locals walked by, going about their days amidst the falling leaves. A strange feeling attached itself to you. Like a part of you deep inside lit up like the most strong-willed candle. Your eyes followed the hurried movements of the people, glanced at the street vendors and their commodities, and got lost in the busyness of the harbor.

In the most bizarre way, it brought you comfort. You heard the shouts of business and the laughter of children, it was such a hard contrast to what you had gotten used to in the icy nation ruled by a God with no love left in her cold heart. Everything was so alive, so warm.

Your curious gaze reached the sky, the wind blowing at your hair slightly. The sky was clear, clearer than you had ever seen it. It made you wonder if such heavy rainfall that befell the region on the evening of your arrival was even possible. The only visible clouds were distant and faint like they had no intention of reaching the harbor in the first place.

A content, yet quiet sigh left your lips on its own as you tried to comprehend the scene before you. For the first time since your arrival, you could briefly grasp what you once had. You allowed yourself to close your eyes and just bask in the warm and serene feeling.

Behind you, the courteous funeral parlor consultant watched and noted how your entire body relaxed at the freeing sensation of the harbor. He held his tongue, not wanting to disturb your moment of peace. He could not contain the smallest of smiles but at the same time, his golden eyes were framed by an expression of condolence. 

The man was intelligent enough to read the way you silently reacted to your new place of residence, the way you relaxed as if a massive weight had been at least partially lifted from your weakened shoulders. It was far more telling than words could have ever been.

Curiosity poked at him once again, but he did not dare to cross an unwritten boundary you had set the very moment you locked eyes with him. He could only hope that this little arrangement of his could alleviate your lingering torment.

After spending some minutes just observing with his keen eyes, Mr. Zhongli finally joined you on the balcony, which fortunately brought you back from your floating thoughts. You stood up straight and turned to him, the words of gratitude at the tip of your tongue.

“This…” Glancing back inside, you attempted to find the right words that drifted in your head and bring them forward. You could only let out a sigh as no words could even come close to accurately describing how utterly blessed you felt. 

“It’s so much more than I could have ever imagined."

Your thoughts were an incoherent mess, and somewhere a part of you knew Mr. Zhongli was aware of it. Perhaps you could covertly see it in his knowing smile. The more you let your thoughts wander while trying to express your appreciation, the heavier they became and soon the burden made itself known.

“Surely this is too much.” Your voice died down. It was so difficult to believe. This beautiful apartment was to be your home for as long as you wanted, which you were slowly starting to believe was forever. A deep, amused chuckle was what you received in response.

“As per our contract, I was to provide you with a long-term place to stay in. A place to call home. And this,” He pointed to the interior that you still had trouble believing was real with his gloved hand. “Is precisely what was agreed upon.”

You listened as he spoke, the terms of the contract coming back to you with his words. It made so little sense to you and coming face to face with the embodiment of those terms that favored you so ridiculously did little to lessen your confusion. The home was beautiful, too beautiful, and it was given to you so selflessly for free. 

“Right,” you replied, acknowledging the truth in his statement.

In the midst of your thoughts, you shook your head very slightly. The reality of the situation was overwhelmingly favorable for you, and you merely had to accept it. Easier said than done, you thought.

“I apologize for getting into professional matters like this before you have even properly settled in,” Mr. Zhongli suddenly began, and you followed him indoors, closing the sliding balcony door behind you. He then turned around to face you.

“But I have an errand for you.”

That caught you off guard. Already? If you were honest with yourself, you didn’t expect to be fulfilling your end of the contract so soon, and the apologetic look upon the brunette’s face told you that perhaps he did not either.

“Oh, what do you want me to do?” You asked, admittedly curious about what Mr. Zhongli had planned for your first task. His shoulders seemed to relieve some of the apparent tension that you could not see upon hearing your response.

“I need you to make a delivery for me.”

You gave him a slow nod with a quiet ‘oh’ as you took in his request. It seemed simple enough, just the kind of errand you were expecting him to trust you with. However, there was a sense of urgency in his warm eyes, it was incredibly distant but you somehow managed to catch it.

“A delivery?” You inquired, to which he hummed softly. 

“To whom?” 

Surprisingly, you noticed him breaking his rather unflinching eye contact with you for a moment so brief, that if you had blinked, you would have missed it. Furrowing your brows ever so slightly, you waited for his answer. Surely, the recipient couldn’t have been anyone but an ordinary citizen. Perhaps someone from the funeral parlor?

There was a short moment of silence that was only filled in by your thoughts until he spoke:

“Are you familiar with the adepti?”

~

The fallen leaves at your feet prompted you to look up at what was possibly the largest cuihua tree you had ever laid your eyes on. The sun's rays disappeared behind the massive building resting on top of stone and wood. Your eyes followed the turning water wheel and the moving elevator that reached the very top floor of the impressive construction. 

Wangshu Inn.

Liyue was yet again surprising you with its beautiful architecture and landscape. The warmth of nature’s colors never failed to amaze you and the inn itself was so intricately built you wondered if it was even made by regular people. You internally thanked Mr. Zhongli for dispatching you here of all places. The way to the inn was fairly short, located just north of the harbor, but you would have gladly taken a trip to a further location if a scene this stunning awaited you. 

You glanced at the package in your hands. It was a neatly wrapped box with no outside decorations on it. The contents were light, they weighed almost nothing. They were however very important to the being you were to deliver this small box to. You just had to find this adeptus first.

Mr. Zhongli had kindly told you that there was no need for you to depart on your small journey immediately upon request, despite the small sense of hurry in his gaze, as he most likely wished for you to settle in properly first. You had however assured him that you had no objections to making this delivery immediately. Upon learning of the contents of the box, it became even more clear to you that it was for the best if you did not delay your first errand.

It was but a simple task, yet seemingly vital to this adeptus.

Your knowledge of these otherwordly illuminated beasts and gods was limited, having only heard of them through the whispers of distant stories. Mr. Zhongli was more than happy to share his knowledge of them with you. They protected Liyue, and had done so for many millennia, they were blessed with powers beyond a mere mortal’s understanding and were somewhat isolated from people. And yet, you were about to meet one of them. You had to admit, you were slightly nervous.

Stepping out of the elevator that led inside, you noticed a woman standing behind a counter, eyes glued to what you assumed was paperwork. That must have been Verr Goldet, the owner of the inn, as Mr. Zhongli had told you. He had advised you to ask her about the hidden adeptus’ whereabouts upon your arrival.

You approached the counter after taking in a breath to calm your nerves. This was your first time out of the harbor, your first time interacting with someone that wasn’t Mr. Zhongli or Shu. Realistically, you had nothing to be afraid of, but you could not deny the anxiety in your core.

Verr Goldet looked up from her work which brought an end to your turbulent thoughts. She most likely either heard your footsteps or saw you from the corner of her vision. The owner was quick to put on a smile.

“Welcome to Wangshu Inn. How may I help you? Do you need a room for the night?” Her kind demeanor thankfully washed some of your nervousness away almost immediately. Typical innkeeper, kindness was always good for business, you thought.

“Ah no,” you began, quickly stopping at the counter and placing your hands on it. “I am actually looking for the Conquerer of Demons. I was told that he resided here, where could I find him? I have a delivery for him.”

Verr Goldet’s eyes housed something akin to surprise in them. As if you had used the correct password to gain entry to a place full of secrets. You assumed she was not expecting you, a person she had never seen before, to ask about an adeptus right off the bat like this. Despite the fact that you hadn’t been given all of the details, you were quite sure that not all people were privy to the fact that the inn housed an old god. There was a feeling of secrecy you could not explain surrounding Wangshu Inn.

“If you wait over there,” she pointed to her right, to an open balcony that provided yet another wonderful scenery with her eyes, and continued: “he might show up eventually.” Her statement puzzled you.

“He might?” You asked and the owner gave you a chuckle.

“He stays away from most mortals and travels around the region on his own. He might show up, or he might not, just have to wait and see.”

You glanced at the wooden balcony and nodded slowly. “I see.” Admittedly, you did not expect your errand to go in this direction, you certainly didn’t think you’d have to wait for the recipient,  but you were determined to finish your task.

“I will wait for him then. Thank you,” you said to the blonde woman who gave you a nod of her own. As you began to make your way towards the balcony you heard her yell after you:

“If you get tired of waiting, be sure to get something to eat! We have a wonderful selection of foods! Oh and if he takes too long you can always stay the night here, our rooms are most wonderful!”

You mentally rolled your eyes at her advertisement but briefly glanced at her with a smile. It was admittedly obnoxious, but you understood her motives. Liyue was all about mora after all.

The view from the massive balcony was incredible. You were so high up and you saw so much, it was almost overwhelming. You hadn’t even realized how late it was, the sun was rather close to the horizon, which you weren’t sure how to feel about. You only hoped that this Conquerer of Demons would show up soon, you weren’t too fond of the idea of walking back home in the darkness of the night.

You placed the box on the railing, eyeing it and running your fingers along the edges as you got lost in your thoughts. You hated moments like these. Moments when you were left alone with nothing but your mind. It wandered too much and too far, and though it had partially forgotten the things that had happened, they still pained you. There was always something at the back of your head, a horrible feeling that would evade you when you tried to search for it and remember it. But it was always blurry and unclear.

How was it possible?

There was a grueling silence in the room but you could practically feel your rapid heartbeat as a pounding sensation all the way in your head. The piercing sound of the urn breaking as it hit the floor was still ringing unpleasantly in your ears. He had tried to pursue you too fast and in the midst of his almost animalistic anger caused the ornament to fall. The broken fragments lay in pieces at his feet and the shock of the impact seemed to be enough to deter him.

You thanked the Archons for that.

Your eyes stared at him, alert gaze ready to catch any attempts to get to you again, though a part of you was more than aware that you could never outrun him. He was tearing you apart with his dull azure eyes that were still somewhat alive, but only when they were boring into you like this. It felt like he was stabbing and strangling you at the same time with his expression alone. It made you feel sick.

And yet, there was some resemblance of conflict in his gaze, maybe even remorse. As if he had just been snapped out of this obsessive trance that was slowly taking over. It felt like he became a different person entirely, nothing like the carefree and charming boy you once knew. His expression was challenging to read, and you could only hope he wasn’t losing himself.

Still, you were terrified. The unhinged flame in his orbs you had seen just moments ago was burned into your mind and still flashed in your vision. You were frozen, trembling, and feeling as if you were drowning. You tried to remain calm, but your rueful attempts did nothing to conceal the visible fear in your eyes. And he saw it.

“I was told you were looking for me.”

The stern voice behind you made you jump, embarrassingly much as it pulled you away from the distant memory that had set off rather suddenly. The sun had not yet ventured behind the horizon. Thank goodness. You chided yourself for zoning out like that and promptly turned around towards the unknown voice. Your eyes fixated on the short figure in front of you, taking in his appearance.

His dark hair that was on the shorter side swayed slightly in the natural winds of the region, the bright undertones on the tips almost glowing under the setting sun. His posture was firm, almost taut as if he was always prepared for a vicious battle. The adeptus looked at you with a sharp and tense gaze, his golden irises practically burning into you. Your own eyes shifted to the tattoo that ran around his right arm and the bizarre-looking mask at his hip. He had an air of danger about him as if it was following him wherever he went. Yet, he was calmly waiting for you to start speaking. You swallowed nervously.

So this was an adeptus. He certainly looked the part.

“Y-yes. I was asked to deliver these to you.” You held the box in front of you and after a brief moment of contemplation, took a few tiny steps towards him. He stayed quiet, which promtped you to continue, just to avoid a moment of discomforting silence. “From Mr. Zhongli. They’re um…”

“Remedium Tertiorum. Painkillers.” He finished your sentence effortlessly, it surprised you somewhat. He must have gotten this specific medicine in the past as well, you assumed. You nodded.

“Yes, exactly.” While you were admittedly curious about why a millennia-old mighty adeptus like him would need such strong painkillers, you did not intend to pry into the matter any further. If anything you understood better than anyone that if you were to ask for more details, it would only serve to make him uncomfortable. You were here to merely deliver these painkillers to him, nothing else.

The adeptus took in your slightly tense body language that you tried to somewhat conceal. He watched as your hands lightly trembled while holding the box and noticed the way your eyes would sometimes glance at the wooden surface below your feet. He didn’t blame you, it was clear that you had never seen an adeptus like him before, but he also questioned why Zhongli would send someone like you to do this task. It was a brief thought that he did not indulge for long.

He took the box from your hands with surprising carefulness and looked into your eyes once more. “Give Mr. Zhongli my regards,” he spoke, voice steely but soft at the same time. You managed to maintain eye contact with him as he continued:

“And thank you for delivering these to me.” The adeptus retreated from you and turned around, most likely preparing to leave the inn as he so often seemed to do.

“It was the least I could do, Conquere-”

“Xiao. Call me Xiao.”

That was all he said before he disappeared, leaving behind a small mist of anemo that faded away soon after. You stayed still for a brief moment, processing the speed at which the exchange had occurred. There was a lot on your mind, curiosity most of all. For an adeptus, Xiao seemed so… solemn. One could sense his ethereal nature that told he was an illuminated beast, but his demeanor lacked something that you expected from an adeptus. Was it a sense of pride? Honor? You didn’t quite know.

The sun would set soon. You had to start making your way back home before it was too dark. Walking back inside, you said your goodbyes to Verr Goldet and approached the wooden elevator.

~

The night and its tranquil darkness gave your new home a totally different ambiance. The lanterns were still lit, but they warmed the interior in the most comforting manner. You lightly chuckled at yourself as you looked around from the front door. You still could not believe it. You probably couldn’t believe it even if you ended up living in Liyue forever. The whole region was so warm and welcoming, far more than your homeland could ever be. 

You had been saved, you had been taken care of, you had been given a place to stay, and for what? More than anything, you wondered why. Why had you been blessed so much? Was it Rex Lapis who was giving you his guidance and grace? You barely thought any good of the archons, only because the only one you had ever known was so cold and cruel like the harshest blizzards.

You knew you had to just learn to accept the good things, accept that this was a positive change in your life. Yet, you knew he was somewhere out there. Perhaps that was why it was difficult for you to let go and fully embrace the change. You tried your best to push the thought away, that was partially why you had agreed to finish your errand today, but he managed to crawl back into your head, either through a flashing image of his deadly eyes or an echo of his laugh.

In the midst of your thoughts, you hadn’t even realized that you had begun to wander around the apartment frantically. This wouldn’t do. You realized that you needed to do something productive, and opted to put out all the lanterns throughout the living space and prepare for bed. It wasn’t much but it would at least give you something else to think about.

You walked around, stopping at every lantern and killing their warming flames. As the room got darker, you started to miss the solace the light provided. Even during your time in the medical facility, there was some light, a distant lantern somewhere. You’d have to leave one on for tonight.

As you looked around to decide which source of light to save, your eyes caught something on the low table in the very center of the room. A neatly wrapped package, and a note. You frowned your brows. Had you completely missed it upon entering?

Curious, you made your way to the table and immediately picked up the note, the contents of which were written in beautiful handwriting.

Dear (Name)

I hope you’re enjoying your new apartment, I’m sure Mr. Zhongli picked a really nice one. I’m really happy you finally got a proper place to live in, though I do miss seeing you at the medical facility. So, why don’t we go for tea sometime? Or whatever you prefer. You know where to find me! Also, I left a little something for you, just to help you get started.

Sincerely,

Shu

As you read the neatly written letter, your lower lip began to tremble and you almost let the impending tears fall from your eyes. You weren’t sure what to think. Your mind went back to your last interaction with the kind nurse and immediately thought of just how rude you had been to her. It haunted you, and yet, you had just read a letter in which she invited you for tea as if nothing had happened.

All this time, Shu had only wanted to help, and she had. More than you could have ever asked for. Even now, she had given you a present of sorts. You looked at it, how nicely it was wrapped and even decorated with ribbon. Curiosity overwhelmed you and you went to open it, carefully tearing the wrapping away.

Your eyes widened at the contents. What lay before you were everyday items, such as a hairbrush, a few towels, some clothing, just about everything you could need while living on your own. 

However, what caught your eye the most was a familiar jar. The one that contained the same ointment you had used to treat your wounds all this time. The same ointment Shu had given to you on the very first day. You stood still, trying to make sense of all this. Her kindness touched your heart and for a moment, you felt all your worries melt away. You felt hopeful.

Your eyes scanned the opened package, the reality of the situation settling in. This was real. This wasn’t another false image created by your corrupt mind. You were safe. You were home.

You let the tears fall, but you smiled as you did. A genuine, heartfelt smile tugged at the corners of your mouth, and you might have even let out a laugh or two. Because for the first time in what felt like an eternity, you felt truly alive.

Taking a shirt from the pile of clothes, you held it close to your heaving chest and let out what was probably the longest sigh you had ever let slip from your lips. The silence wasn’t crueling, but rather comforting. Still, you broke it, setting free a silent whisper addressed to whatever being might have heard you.

“Thank you.”

~

Your lover stepped over the broken urn, prowling towards you so painfully slowly, that it made your entire body taut. You did not dare look back at him, for you knew that the only thing in your line of sight would be that unnerving, mad glow in his eyes that was beginning to haunt you. 

With your back against the wall, you felt trapped. You were trapped. The dread that you felt in the pit of your stomach spread across your entire being when he lowered himself to you, that burning, lifeless glare digging into you. He could feel your shaky breath, see your frightened averted gaze and nearly hear the way your poor heart crashed against your chest. It roused something in him.

He almost cracked a smile.

A hand at your jaw was what finally coaxed you to look at him, the tightness of his grip making you wince. His other arm he held against the wall behind you, further reducing the scalding distance between you.

“Have you learned your lesson now?”

The torturous silence was finally broken and immediately you wished it hadn’t. His voice was eerily calm but at the same time, you knew he was holding back, trying to rein himself from another violent outburst. How had it come to this? What had happened to him? You could not understand and you only wanted things to back to how they used to be. Your heart was being ripped into pieces and the man before you almost seemed as if he was striving for it.

You could only nod, your fearful and chaotic state of mind not allowing for anything else. This did not please him, however, as he shook his head lightly, like a disappointed owner of a pet. His grip tightened.

“Use your words.”

His tone, now more demanding, sent bleak shivers down your spine and you felt like you were about to faint. You looked for your voice somewhere deep down, wanting nothing more than to escape from this horrible situation.

“Y-yes.”

The eyes before you softened and for a split second, you saw a mere glimpse of the man you had fallen in love with. His hand changed from the brutal hold on your jaw, to a gentle caress of your cheek. The sensation was familiar, comforting even and you hated it. However, your frightened being yearned to feel his hands on you so tenderly, so you embraced it and subconsciously leaned your weary head against his hand.

He let out a sigh, a tired, long sigh before bringing his lips to yours. You partially relaxed into the kiss, briefly forgetting all about your previous distress. Your fragile heart ached for him, despite everything and he knew it. Somewhere in your being, you wanted to hate him, but at the same time, a part of you stayed hopeful that things would go back to normal. It was a vicious cycle of him slowly corrupting you, and comforting you, entertaining that part of you that only craved his love.

Once he pulled away, he smiled at you, your eyes failing to catch the wickedness in his grin. He was reeling you in once again, you knew it, but that thought failed to reach its destination. You fell into his arms, exhausted, defeated, and so oblivious to reality. Your lover laughed to himself, encasing you in his strong hold and humming at your state of fatigue. You were breaking.

“That’s it. Good girl."

~

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