#I occasionally just lose my ability to communicate:

[beegomess]

ILOVE YOU MATHEO FANFICS!!! And your Theo ones omg they're so cute and make me smile every time I see them!! Could you do something like this? If you want to of course!

It's like in Brookline nine nine where Jake and Amy have that bet where whoever gets the most arrests by the end of the year get to make the other do whatever they want.

• what if Matty boy or Theo (ether is good Matty would be my pick tho! Or if you like the prompt you could do one for each <3 ) and the reader had a bet about who could get the best marks on a test or something like that.

• And he wins and they make you go on "the worst date ever"

• like Jake made Amy in BNN. But like Jake that's when he realize his feelings for the reader.

Supper fluffy and cute!! Rivals/friends to lovers !

Love ya!!

M.R. || Real love baby

Summary: When a boy pulls a girl's hair, it usually means something more than he actually admits. Warnings: none. A/N: This came out faster than usual because I simply LOVE Jake and Amy. I really hope it met your expectations, I'm delighted with how I was able to construct this text.🫶🏼

Open orders!

The friendship between you and Mattheo has always been a roller coaster of jokes, provocations and, occasionally, a latent feeling of competitiveness. His blood boiled when he mocked every time a teacher caught his attention, and you reciprocated in the same coin, turning each slip of his into a reason for laughter. These exchanges never went unnoticed, and the common room often echoed with the barbs exchanged between the two of you.

What began as childish games, however, now seemed to gain a different meaning. In the sixth year, the provocations were no longer seen as mere mischief. Their friends, who used to watch from afar, began to observe them with insightful eyes, full of insinuations, as if they saw something you had not yet realized. What was once just an exchange of innocent barbs, now seemed to have a background of palpable tension, almost as if there was something else behind the debauched smiles and defiant looks.

You had grown up. And, over time, new interests have emerged. However, the fun of seeing the other angry for any insignificant reason still aroused an almost childish satisfaction in both. The adrenaline of a small triumph, no matter how small it was, was addictive. And, to your surprise, that night in the communal room would seal a new phase of this dynamic between you.

I was sitting with Theodore, discussing his grades from the previous year. Both were always the best in the class, and there was no more fun in competing with each other. Someone who really challenged his abilities was missing, someone from another house, maybe. But before they could continue the conversation, a familiar voice interrupted their thoughts.

- What are you talking about? - Mattheo appeared, sitting on the sofa in front, his curious expression, almost as if he was sniffing the opportunity to get into the conversation.

You sighed, rolling your eyes. I knew he wouldn't miss the chance to participate.

- We were regretting the lack of a competitor to match - said Theodore, with a convinced air that only served to fuel Mattheo's interest.

- Competitor? - Mattheo frowned, looking genuinely confused, before opening a malicious smile. - Oh, this nonsense of those who get the best grades, isn't it? Well, your problems are over, because the opponent you're looking for is right here.

His laugh was automatic and loud. Mattheo's idea as an academic threat seemed, to say the least, absurd. Theodore also let out a discreet laugh, and Mattheo looked at them with a mixture of challenge and frustration.

- Oh, please, Matty, don't make me laugh. - you said between laughs, barely able to catch your breath.

- I'm serious - he replied, his voice getting softer as his eyes met yours. - Come on, are you so afraid of losing to me?

You narrowed your eyes, trying to keep your composure. The game was getting interesting.

- Afraid of you? - you replied, raising your chin with confidence. - You won't even come close to reaching me, Riddle.

A glow of determination appeared in his eyes, and you knew that from that moment on he was committed. But before he could answer, Pansy, who was watching from afar with a mischievous smile, intruded.

- Bet on a date at the end of classes - she suggested, her voice full of malice. - Whoever loses will have to do what the other wants for one night.

You blinked, surprised by the audacity of the suggestion, but before you could protest, Theodore was already agreeing, a sideways smile on his face.

- Great idea - he murmured, clearly having fun with the situation.

Mattheo didn't waste time. He stretched out his hand with a provocative smile.

- Closed. Get ready for the worst date of your life.

Without hesitation, you shook his hand, sealing the agreement. He knew he was getting into a potentially embarrassing situation, but he also trusted that, as much as Mattheo could be merciless in his provocations, he would never do anything to really hurt or humiliate her. It was a bet, yes, but one that came with a layer of mutual trust.

From that day on, your destiny was sealed. The "meeting" was already a reality, all that remained was to define who would dictate the rules. A part of you longed for the challenge, while another, more cautious, began to wonder if you hadn't underestimated Mattheo.

[...]

The weeks that followed showed that you had, in fact, underestimated Mattheo.

In the first days after the bet, you treated the challenge carefree, almost mocking the idea that he could do well. Mattheo was always the type of student who killed classes, glued to the exams and, in the end, counted on the good will of the teachers to pass the year. However, something has changed.

In recent months, teachers' conversations about Mattheo have started to surprise you. They no longer talked about their lack of discipline, but about their potential. They said he was finally showing how smart he was - something that, in fact, you already knew, but that he never made a point of demonstrating.

Mattheo, who used to seem uninterested, now really studied. Their furtive glances and provocations during classes seemed to hide a new, almost disturbing determination. Every time he raised his hand to answer a question or hit a complicated question, you felt the pressure increase. He was, against all expectations, taking it seriously.

And, little by little, you realized that maybe you were facing an opponent much more prepared than you imagined.

The months passed like a gale, each day bringing with it new provocations and challenges. The agreement, which initially seemed like an innocent joke, had turned into a real war of nerves. Both maintained a serious posture in class, but behind this facade, the tension was visible with each exchange of glances. No opportunity was wasted for a sharp comment, and the friends around had already gotten used to the constant clash between you.

The whole year was a fierce dispute, with comparative grades right after each class, always followed by sarcastic laughter and subtle provocations. In the first weeks, you laughed at Mattheo's attempt to keep up, making a point of spreading rumors among the girls who met him in the library. With a mischievous smile on your lips, you whispered:

- They say that Mattheo Riddle is looking for a girlfriend. He's been spending more time in the library than anywhere else, he must be trying to impress someone.

The giggles echoed through the common room, and in a short time, the rumor ran loose through the corridors of Hogwarts. The result? The library, which used to be a place of concentration and silence, became a battlefield. Girls appeared unexpectedly around Mattheo, curious to know if there was any truth in the rumors. He, visibly irritated, cast looks of disapproval in his direction, knowing very well where that chaos had come from.

On the other hand, he didn't leave it cheap. Knowing that his weak point was concentration, Mattheo took revenge in a calculated way. Whenever you isolated yourself in a corner of the library to study in peace, he appeared, casually, and started a loud conversation, talking about the most random and uninteresting subjects, but enough to divert your attention. Not satisfied, he began to launch provocative comments whenever he passed by you, as if he were talking to himself:

- Oh, how I love to see the despair of those who are afraid of losing a bet.

Or even:

- I heard that some people can't study under pressure... what a shame.

Not to mention the colleagues who suddenly came to ask silly questions or break their silence, clearly instigated by Mattheo. You knew he was behind each of these little sabotages. The environment that was once his refuge for study had become unbearable. Wherever you went, it seemed that Mattheo was always there, ready to disrupt his plans.

In the weeks of tests, the tension intensified. The psychological war continued, and now, everyone used their tricks with precision. The librarian had already lost patience with both of you, and more than once you were reprimanded for "disturbing the study environment". But nothing seemed to be able to interrupt the dispute. You were tied, each test being decided by tenths, sometimes with him in front, sometimes with you.

And then, the last test of the year arrived. It was from Feitiços, one of the most challenging subjects and also the one that both knew could seal the fate of the bet. The room was tense that morning, with the students silent, nervous, frantically reviewing their notes. Mattheo sat in the row in front of his, and before the teacher entered, he turned around, throwing a malicious smile in his direction.

- Ready to lose? Should I reserve the night for your punishment? - he whispered, his tone soft, but loaded with provocation.

You raised an eyebrow, returning the smile with a sparkle in your eyes.

- I hope you've already chosen your worst outfit, Riddle. I don't want it to seem like a complete disaster on our "date".

He laughed softly, shaking his head before turning around. The game was about to end, and they both knew it. Every word exchanged, every defiant look, everything had led to that moment.

When the teacher finally came in and distributed the scrolls, the silence in the room became absolute. The sound of feathers sliding on the paper was the only thing that was heard. Each second seemed to last an eternity while you wrote your answers with determination, maximum concentration. There was no room for mistakes.

From time to time, you noticed Mattheo moving in front of you, but refused to look away for more than a second. I knew that any distraction now could be expensive. When the test finally came to an end, you let out a sigh of relief. But the tension was still in the air. All that was left was to wait for the result.

In the weeks that followed, the provocations did not stop. Mattheo was confident, always making insinuating comments about what he would do if he won the bet. On the other hand, you kept your posture firm, not showing a shred of nervousness.

- Don't worry, Mattheo. I'm sure you'll love to fulfill your part of the agreement. - you said, without ever letting out the anxiety that grew as the day of the delivery of the notes approached.

When the notes were posted on the board, Mattheo's heart accelerated, but he kept his expression confident. You approached soon after, and when you saw the minimal difference between the notes, your heart sank. Mattheo had won. He had taken the best grade, but by such a small margin that it even seemed like a whim of fate. You, who until then had maintained a calm posture, could not avoid an expression of disbelief.

Next to him, Mattheo let out a loud, triumphant laugh. He looked up, as if he had won a great battle.

- I said! - he exclaimed, drawing the attention of everyone around. - I said I was going to win!

He was not satisfied with the silent victory. No, Mattheo wanted everyone to know that he had won the bet. You closed your eyes for a moment, trying to compose yourself while he turned on his heels, laughing as if he had just won Hogwarts' most desired trophy.

- Oh, I can't wait to see this! - Mattheo provoked, approaching you with a mischievous smile. - I hope you enjoyed losing, because now the night is all mine.

You just rolled your eyes, knowing that he wouldn't miss the chance to make the bet worth every penny. Mattheo wasn't content to just win; he needed to make it a show.

[...]

In the afternoon after Mattheo's victory, he and Theodore walked through the busy streets of the Diagonal Street, in search of the perfect piece for the "date" that Mattheo had planned. The sun was high, and the sound of the conversations of the wizards around filled the air. Mattheo, with a malicious smile on his face, was eager to turn the bet into an embarrassing and memorable situation for you. Theodore, next to him, watched him in silence, waiting for the right moment to pull the conversation that was clearly stuck in Mattheo's mind.

- I think this store will do. - said Mattheo, pointing to a window that displayed a collection of exaggeratedly colorful and extravagant clothes. It was the kind of store that didn't care about following trends, but about being the center of attention. Exactly what he was looking for.

When they entered, the environment was even more absurd than the showcase suggested. There were dresses with giant ruffles, shiny capes and hats that almost touched the ceiling. Mattheo took a quick turn, his eyes dancing between the most ridiculous pieces.

- She'll hate it. - he said, holding a pink dress with golden details and voluminous ruffles. - Perfect!

Theodore, with his arms crossed and an ironic smile, watched as Mattheo looked for more options. He knew his friend was having fun with that, but there was something else. There was always something more when it came to Mattheo and you.

- You know, you're trying too hard for this, don't you think? - Theodore commented, casually, while leaning against the store counter.

Mattheo let out a chuckle, without taking his eyes off his clothes.

- I'm trying hard to make sure she's embarrassed. That was the bet. She knew what she was getting into.

Theodore arched an eyebrow, still watching him carefully. He let Mattheo continue for a few more minutes, before deciding it was time to deepen the conversation.

- Right, right... - Theo said, in a carefree tone. - But... why are you so looking forward to it? I mean, it's just a bet. It seems that you are spending more time and money than you should.

Mattheo stopped for a moment, holding a ridiculous piece of clothing in his hands, but didn't answer immediately. His expression, for a brief moment, showed doubt. He looked at Theo, a little annoyed.

- I just want to make sure she learns not to underestimate a Riddle - he finally replied with a forced smile.

Theodore didn't buy the excuse. He took a few steps, approaching Mattheo, and lowered his voice, in a more serious tone.

- Or you really like her... - Theo shot, bluntly, while watching his friend's reaction.

Mattheo frowned immediately, dropping the dress in a macaw next to him.

- You're delirious, Nott. That has nothing to do with liking her. It's just... fun. A bet, remember?

But Theodore, undisturbed, just shrugged.

- Of course, of course. It's just a bet - he said, with sarcasm in his voice. - But let's think a little... You spent the whole year teasing her, Mattheo. Calling her attention in every possible way. He told girls to talk to her just to annoy her, he did everything to disrupt her studies, and now... he's personally choosing the most ridiculous outfit he can get for this date.

Mattheo turned around, crossing his arms and staring at Theo with a closed expression.

- And what's wrong with that? - he countered, defensively.

Theo took a few more steps, now closer to Mattheo.

- What's up with that? - he repeated, shaking his head with a smile. - You spent hours thinking about it, Mattheo. Hours. For someone who says it's just a bet, you're spending a lot of time on it. That's not just fun, Mattheo. Admitting that won't kill you.

Mattheo clenched his fists for a moment, clearly frustrated with the direction of the conversation. He wanted to deny it. He wanted to laugh at Theodore's face and say that it was absurd. But the words got stuck in the throat.

Theo, realizing his friend's discomfort, gave another accurate blow.

- How much time have you spent thinking about how to provoke her this year? And how many times have you done this because, deep down, you didn't want her to move away? - Theo let out a low laugh and shook his head. - All this, Mattheo, all these provocations... were just an excuse. An excuse to stay close to her, to ensure that she kept noticing you.

Mattheo snorted, trying to ignore the truth in Theodore's words. He took another piece of clothing, trying to divert the focus from the conversation.

- You don't know what you're talking about, Nott - he said, harshly, but his voice didn't have the same firmness as before.

Theo approached again, now with a softer smile.

- I know exactly what I'm talking about. And, deep down, you also know. - He took one last look at the ridiculous dress that Mattheo was holding and sighed, as if he was accepting something inevitable. - But it's okay. Keep pretending it's just a bet. I just hope you realize what's really going on before it's too late.

With that, Theodore walked away, leaving Mattheo alone with his thoughts and the clothes he had chosen. The silence that followed in the store seemed to weigh more than before. Mattheo stood there for a few seconds, staring at the dress in his hands, but his mind was elsewhere. Theo's words reverberated in his head, and for the first time, he wondered if the bet wasn't just an excuse to hide what he felt all the time.

[...]

The next morning, Mattheo seemed to have completely buried Theodore's words. His provocation was the same as always, but maybe with an extra touch of sarcasm. The most ridiculous costume he could find was carefully left at his door, wrapped in an almost solemn way. The box, with a dark green bow, seemed to mock you. Despite knowing exactly what was inside, you spent the day ignoring it, leaving the package untouched next to the door while trying to keep your head busy with anything other than the "date" that would happen later.

The provocations between you continued throughout the day, as if everything was normal. Mattheo seemed to have fun every time their eyes met, and you just rolled your eyes, determined to pretend that nothing would happen. But as the day progressed, reality began to weigh on you. There was no way to avoid it anymore.

When the sun finally set, you knew it was time to face the challenge. With a heavy sigh, he took the wrapping from the door, already feeling the weight of the humiliation that was to come. The contents of the box did not disappoint. The pink dress was a freak, with a huge golden bow that adorned her back, so exaggerated that it looked more like a gift wrapping than a piece of clothing. The voluminous skirt gave the impression that you were ready for an 80s debutante ball, and the boots... Oh, the boots were a monstrosity. Black and worn, with a low and clumsy heel that did not match at all with the rest of the set.

Resigned, you dressed up the best you could. Your hair, at least, was beautiful, and you decided that, if you were going to be ashamed, the least you could do was keep your dignity intact. She went downstairs to the communal room, where some of her friends were already waiting for her, evidently curious to see the disaster that Mattheo had planned.

- This is a nightmare - you grumbled, as you approached, without trying to disguise your frustration. - After that, I can forget about getting any boyfriend.

Pansy laughed softly, covering her mouth with her hand, while Blaise and Theo exchanged complicit glances. Mattheo, who was standing next to the fireplace, couldn't contain a laugh.

- Oh, go, don't be dramatic. - Mattheo said, with a glint of amusement in his eyes. - I guarantee that, after today, you will be the most talked about person in Hogwarts.

You crossed your arms, trying to maintain dignity, although you knew you were already lost.

- Spoken for the wrong reasons, maybe - you replied, your voice loaded with sarcasm.

Mattheo just laughed more, taking a step forward.

- Come on, come down soon. We don't have all night. - He made a theatrical gesture with his hand, indicating that you should come closer.

When you finally came up completely, the muffled laughter began. His friends, no matter how loyal they were, couldn't help it. Pansy and Daphne covered their mouths to try to hide how much fun they were having, while Theo and Blaise watched with the looks of those who knew that it was an unmissable show. But the most surprising was Mattheo's reaction. He stopped for a moment, his lips curving in a smile, but his eyes... Well, his eyes seemed surprised.

Even with all that ridiculous outfit, you could still look beautiful, which clearly disarmed you for a brief second. The dress, as absurd as it was, highlighted the curve of her waist and the delicate features of her face. And, for a thousandth of a second, Mattheo forgot the real goal of the bet.

But he soon recovered, shaking his head and returning to the carefree and provocative attitude.

- Well, well... - he said, crossing his arms and tilting his head to observe you better. - I think a detail is missing.

Before you could ask what he meant, Mattheo took something from behind him and extended it towards him. A track, similar to those of Miss Universe, but with an inscription that made her stomach turn: "Mattheo Riddle is amazing".

You looked at him, incredulous.

- You can only be joking - you murmured, but Mattheo kept smiling, swinging the banner in the air as if it were a prize.

- Come on, you can't miss it. This is part of the agreement. - He insisted, his eyes shining with malice.

- That wasn't in the agreement - you replied, with narrow eyes, but you knew it would be useless to argue.

Mattheo just laughed and extended the band.

- Oh, but it was you who said I could choose whatever I wanted. And now I want everyone to know how amazing I am. - He winked, clearly having fun at the expense of his indignation.

With a sigh, you took the band and reluctantly put it on the dress. It was the height of ridicule, but when he looked at Mattheo, he realized that, as much as he was having fun, there was something more in his eyes. Something beyond provocation.

- Now, make a turn for everyone to see - he ordered, with a mischievous smile.

You rolled your eyes, but turned on your heels, feeling the huge bow hit your back, while the muffled laughter around echoed through the room. Mattheo applauded in an exaggerated way, as if you were at a fashion show.

- Perfect! - he said, laughing, and approached, putting an arm around his shoulders. - And now, let's enjoy this unforgettable night.

And so, you left for Três Vassouras, where Mattheo had scheduled everything. The songs, the dances, even the places where they would sit. His friends, of course, went together, ready to watch every second of this show, but, as much as Mattheo's plan was going to embarrass you, the truth was that while you walked next to him, something seemed different. Maybe it was the way he looked at you, or the fact that, as ridiculous as the situation was, you were about to have more fun than you ever imagined.

When you arrived at Três Vassouras, the environment was full of life, with laughter and conversations filling the air. But as soon as they passed through the door, the bar seemed to stop for a moment. All eyes turned to you, as if you had just witnessed a scene worthy of a comedy play. Your exaggerated pink dress, with your voluminous skirt and the golden bow on the back, made you look like a clumsy doll. And next to it, Mattheo, dressed in a gigantic tuxedo, with his sleeves and pants folded up in an almost comical way, didn't help improve the situation.

The laughter echoed around, and you felt your face burn with shame. People whispered, pointed and laughed shamelessly. You tried to hide the discomfort, but you felt everyone's gaze as if you were on a stage, exposed in a way you never imagined. Mattheo, on the other hand, seemed impassive, with a malicious smile on his lips as he walked next to him to the table at the back of the bar, completely ignoring the reactions around him.

You cast an angry look at his disproportionate tuxedo, muttering something low.

- That was... a creative choice, at least - you commented, still trying to adapt to the situation.

He shrugged, fixing the exaggerated collar.

- It's all part of the show, princess.

As much as you were angry, you ended up laughing at the situation, especially when the buttery beers arrived. The sweet and creamy drink, as always, brought a little warmth and relief to the discomfort, and before you knew it, your friends were already around, laughing and pulling you to dance.

At first, he hesitated. She was too ridiculous to move, but the lightness of the jokes and the excitement of the night began to weigh more than the embarrassment. Soon, you were in the middle of the track, spinning and laughing with Pansy, Draco and the others. Each sip of buttery beer made the dress look less absurd, and the music helped to forget the looks around. Suddenly, it didn't matter anymore that I was dressed like a party cake. Only the fun and the shared laughter mattered.

While you danced, forgotten about the initial shame, Mattheo, from afar, watched with a different expression. He was leaning against the counter, a beer in his hand, but he barely touched it. Instead, his eyes were fixed on you, the way he moved carefree, laughing and spinning to the sound of the music. He didn't realize the exact moment when he stopped thinking all that was a joke.

Theodore's words, said the day before, echoed in his mind. At that moment, inside the store, he had vehemently denied any feeling. But now, seeing you so at ease, with a genuine smile on your face, the provocations and games seemed distant. All he could do was watch you, as if it was the first time he really noticed how much you enchanted him.

The time they spent provoking each other, the jokes, the competitions... all this was dissolving in Mattheo's mind as he looked at you that night. Theodore was right, he noticed. Maybe all that would have been an excuse, a way to disguise what he had been feeling all the time.

And now, with you dancing and laughing so freely, he couldn't pretend anymore. The smile he showed to others was always a mask, but at that moment, looking at you, he felt something real. A slight tightness in his chest that he couldn't ignore.

Without realizing it, Mattheo let out a deep sigh. It was no longer a matter of provoking or winning bets. There was something else there, something he hadn't been able to admit even to himself.

And, for the first time, he stopped fighting against that.

Damn, he really fell in love with you.

____________________________

masterlist xoxo, bee🫶🏼✨

[barelylivingscholar]

Arlecchino, with a daughter pt.6

I've been training my combat abilities with some of the harbingers, namely Signora, Pulcinella, and of course, Pantalone. I had not expected the sudden collaboration due to the tension around me. Whenever they are able to get to hang around me, it always end up with the question, "Is Regrator treating you well?" or the casual "You are free to live with me, if Regrator isn't able to accommodate you." Things like these makes me feel... Weird, but it is good to be wanted. But I wish it didn't feel so suffocating all the time. Lately, I've been having more nightmares, and panic attacks about the Knave... Making me grow restless and more ambitious to be able to heal from it... It was never easy from the start. Everything about the Knave makes me feel sick. I never cared to understand the reason behind her actions, because in the end, what is there to know, when her intentions were never pure from the start. Both Pantalone and Pulcinella told me about what's to know about her, and it makes me more angrier that the Knave was capable of doing such things... They fed me lies, lies that spiked my hatred for her. Until one afternoon, I fell into darkness. Endless darkness that had consumed my entire environment, different from Snezhnaya, everything appears endless, and devoid from any form of life. Enemies were fast approaching, I had to dispatch them. I draw my percussion-lock rifled musket, and started to fight off the horde. Occasionally switching to my rapier as my bullets began to wane... I became outnumbered, and surely enough I was swarmed with creatures that I have not encountered, some that were familiar. I was bound to be dead. The feeling of dread creeps up on me. In truth, I was scared to die, because I had just rediscovered my will to live during my time with Pantalone. It was too early, for me to perish without even getting the chance to see the Knave fall from her grace. It doesn't fuel my urge to fight at all. What rekindled my fighting spirit was when I saw someone, fighting their way up to reach me. I had to match their movements, I couldn't afford to lose here. It seemed like hours of endless fighting, but we managed. I lived. I collapsed from exhaustion. The mysterious woman caught me before I could land on the ground. I awoke to a woman observing a medallion...? I couldn't tell since my vision was blurry. The woman took notice of me when I slowly regained my consciousness. I see her holding up a vision. She stared at me blankly, then tossed me the vision. It was a geo vision. I sighed in relief knowing that I wouldn't have to use a delusion. For almost dying, they decided to grant me power? It was getting ridiculous. I then looked up to the lady, and thanked her for saving me from the verge of death. "...Thank you." The unknown woman sighed. "What led you here was your high ambitions." I struggled to grab a hold of myself as I feel the weight of of my actions from before. The woman sighed at the sight of the young girl slowly attempting to get back up. She was not supposed to be speaking with the girl, as she had no desire to speak with weaklings. But after seeing the girl's ability to withstand horde after horde, she decides that she is worthy to communicate with. The girl looked up at her, confused as to what she meant by that. She then elaborated further. "People do not easily fall here. Certain conditions are met before being able to traverse this realm. I barely even processed the words before responding, "...Which is why I'm here. Is there any way out?" She observed the girl who does not seemed to be disturbed by the events that had unfolded. "There is. But time will pass in long periods before you are able to get back to where you're from. Time passes differently in here." Again, the child's indifference to her situation has her interest peaked. She was eerily calm for a child.

I felt numb. Knowing that I'll be stuck here for months, or even years, decades... While the world that I'm supposed to be would pass for only days, or even weeks. It was supposed to drive me crazy. But it didn't. Maybe I wasn't recovering from the shock fully. "Oh... Okay then. I'm left to fight endlessly with creatures from the abyss, then?" Making the woman before her raise an eyebrow at her nonchalance. But the woman concludes the young girl's peculiar behavior as a side effect from already being corrupted by the abyss. "Not necessarily. You are the source of something being awakened." I wanted to ask more questions, but from the looks of it, the woman had no interest in holding long conversations. So I decided to keep things short. "I understand." Bowing my head to show my gratitude, the woman then halted me. "You're not going to last long without proper training. I'll train you in exchange for you to make things more interesting during your time here in the abyss..." This wasn't something that I can say no to, I barely knew my way around here. So of course, I accepted. Without knowing how brutal, harsh, and mind-breaking the experience was... Days have passed, with endless fighting, sparring with Skirk, with little to no breaks, I was bound to become mad... The thing that kept me from becoming mad was how the effects of the abyss kept altering my mind. I was not used to not being plagued by nightmares, thoughts, and especially the horrors of what I had experienced before... It felt peaceful, too peaceful that I start to see changes that I didn't know that I myself, am capable of. The abyss had changed me, in a way that I could not comprehend how. A month after endless fighting, I had gained some sense of morals. It had never occurred to me before, so this was likely due to the abyss's effects. Things felt out of place, as I was drastically changing into another person that I had not anticipated to be. I was never even the type of girl to put morals, above all. Despite my upbringing influencing who I was before, why did it suddenly all change to becoming righteous, and just? Since when was I ever a good person? Becoming virtuous was not part of the plan. Skirk was no stranger to the changes as well, noticing how my answers have changed from time to time. While we were on break, she asked something that made me think deeply about it. "You're strange, for a young girl who is but a child." "I am aware. I don't fit the standards of a "normal child." I was never normal to begin with. "A child from the hearth, raised to be a soldier for the Fatui, the mentality of a soldier, yet has the fragile mentality of a child. It is no wonder that the abyss was unable to corrupt you further into madness... You were already unstable, from the start. It is a miracle that your arrival to the abyss had changed you for the better. Tell me, after the effects of the abyss, what's your next move?" She could tell I was contemplating about how I will be able to move now that my ideologies have changed due to the temperament of the abyss... I summoned the geo percussion-lock rifled musket and shot it manually towards the opponent's head. "I'll remain in the Fatui. Changes will be made, regardless of the Tsaritsa's will. Justice is to be served, regardless of the ignorant, consequences are made. I am no different from the people who had fallen from the abyss. Being in an organization that is corrupt and unethical is ironic to begin with, perhaps I am there to inflict conflict, I will continue to cause tension and bring disharmony to them. My definition of rightness will be the standard, to all."

It had been 4 months since, and I was finally able to return to where I was. But this time, someone who I had not met before approached me. Judging from the description that Skirk, Pantalone, and Pulcinella had described him, this maybe is "Childe." He approaches me and enthusiastically greeted me. "You must be the disciple that I've been hearing from the old man and Regrator. Nice to meet you, I'm Childe. But you can call me Tartaglia." Before he could talk more, I cut him off. "So you're the one who is also a pupil of Skirk's." Making his eyes widen from shock; he was ecstatic to meet another student of his former master. But held back since you were still young. Too young to fight. "Oh, another fellow student of my former master! So I wasn't wrong about you falling in the abyss. 4 days have passed since your fall at the abyss. I assumed you know about how time works differently there, right?"

I nodded in response. "Yes. I know about it. Did anything happen while I was gone?" He chuckles. "Oh, a lot was going on while you were gone." Her expression hardened. "The Knave went ballistic on Regrator, you should've seen it in person! As well as La Signora, and the old man! Three of them were on Regrator's neck, chewing him for losing you." He stopped chuckling when he saw that I was not amused, at all. He scratched his head, his expression showed a nervous smile. "Well... I did tell them that maybe you fell into the abyss... Neither wanted to believe it until the old man made me look for you, but now you're here!" Making me shake my head and sigh. "The others haven't stopped searching, but I'll send someone after to tell them the news. But before that, why don't you hang out with me and share some stories with me as Skirk's pupils?" The man is persistent, he doesn't look like he'll take no for answer due to his eyes beaming with interest. "Lead the way." Looks like I'll be spending time with this strange man... We arrive at a dessert shop in Snezhnaya, he offers to buy me desserts despite my protests since I had enough mora to buy myself one... I was irritable to be honest since Tartaglia, treats me as a kid. He insists on calling him by his name. "After this, I'm going back to Pantalone's base." I say, he then responded, "Aw come on, I have been waiting to finally meet you. Let's chat more." I denied his attempts to stall me. "Tartaglia, I have to return to my mentor. He's looking for me, right?" He then counterargues, "But I already told an agent to inform them that you were found." I huffed at that. He only gave me a brotherly smile, to which I find annoying. "You know... If the Regrator mistreats you, I can-" I can't believe this is happening right now. I cut him off saying, "No. I'd rather stay at Signora's or Pulcinella's." I displayed a deadpan look, making him pout. "I have younger brothers and sisters for you to play with!" He attempts to bargain. "Erm... I'd still stay at Signora's or Pulcinella's." He looked determined to convince me. "I can be your big brother." Not sure if I want this guy to be my brother at all, he was overbearing. Too much for me. "No." After the back and forth conversation, he maintains a friendly aura during the exchange. The young girl was not an ordinary kid. She seemed too mature for her own age. Of course, the knave had something to do with it, she's crazy after all. Pantalone's a business man, so how can he take care of the child? The only sensible option here is him or the old man. But he's capable, he has his own siblings after all! He just needs to convince the girl to pick him over the others... She shouldn't be exposed to the Fatui at such an early age! She should be playing with toys, just like his siblings at home, protected, and sheltered from the harsh conditions of this climate. The Fatui is not a place for children. He of all people know that, except for the Knave. Who raises children to be child soldiers. But if it's the Tsaritsa's will... He can't do anything about the orphans of the Hearth. But he may be able to do something for this kid... He now sees why his fellow harbingers are fighting for this kid. He doesn't intend to lose at this custody case that they were having, even if no one looks at it that way. But he'll win. No matter what.

An: Kid gets thrown in the abyss, comes back out as fixed(?) 🤐🤐🤐 Not Childe at joining the ongoing child custody battle... 😶 *goes mia for days again* TOODLES!

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for only befriending people in order to provide them psychological counselling?

For context, I(24M) am autistic, which affects pretty much all areas of my life, but especially the social one. Since I haven't been able to pick up how social interaction works instinctually, I have had to manually start learning how it works and still haven't fully figured it out, but as it stands, through years of analysing human interactions and emotions of people (me included) I seem to be able to interpret social situations incredibly well when not actively involved in them. At the same time, I have developped a keen interest in helping people, up to a point where I consider this to be one of the most important goals in my life.

Now, I like to frequent a lot of different communities (mostly online, occasionally offline) related to my interests where I can casually socialize, and as it stands, most of the friendships I forge end up happening as follows - I single out a person who is very obviously mentally struggling, and then proceed to be consistently friendly and accepting towards them until they feel comfortable opening up to me. Once we've reached this point, I start actively listening to them talk about their problems and helping them brainstorm ideas on how to cope with those problems using my years of learning about different types of therapy and encouraging them to improve (and maybe find a licensed therapist) until they have made significant improvement and are able to get support elsewhere. I don't go into my personal issues outside of relating them to my friend's struggles, since I feel like that isn't helpful. Once this happens, I pretty much lose interest in being friends with them - I don't ghost them or anything, and with most of them we still occasionally send each other links related to our shared interest and I'm still avaible to them to come for help, but it just feels like there's nothing for me in the friendship anymore.

Obviously this is maladaptive from my side and hinders my ability to form strong bonds with another person which fucks my social life up severely, but am I morally wrong to do it? I am ultimately manipulating people into letting me become their therapist for my own personal interest, all the while not being a licensed therapist and likely not knowing all of the required theory, which could lead to me giving people bad advice. So, AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[clownrecess]

I was wondering, why don't you speak? Is it a conscious decision for your own comfort or is it that you physically can't? /g /nf

(tw for extremely brief trauma mention)

When I was a small child, I didn't have any speech delays. I developed oral speech at the same time as my peers and was able to adequately communicate using oral speech.

When I was 8, my ability to use oral speech was still existent, and for the most part easy, however when I became distressed oral speech was notably more tiring for me, and would result in me becoming more frustrated and upset. I don't believe this was noticeable to anybody else, but it is something I remember experiencing.

When I was 9 (which was a particularly traumatic time for me), I began loosing speech for short periods of time (like 30 minutes to two hours), and had made a bad quality communication board that I would use around my friends, and had an AAC app on my phone that I would use at home sometimes (albeit it was not taken seriously, and was seen primarily as something I was doing for fun). During these times I physically could not use oral speech, my brain felt like it was preventing me from accessing my oral speech.

At around 10 my difficulty using oral speech increased, and I would have no access to oral speech for time periods of around one day to a week.

When I was 11 I had my first long period of no oral speech, which was four months. During this time I originally began using a free AAC app on a really old android tablet that barely worked. Later on my school provided me with an I-Pad that had both LAMP Words For Life and Proloquo2go on it. I used both, but mostly LAMP because my speech therapist at the time thought it would be better for my personal motor skills.

After that four months I was able to use impaired oral speech at home, but not at school, this lasted for one or two months. During this time I got an android tablet with TalkTabletPRO on it.

After this I used oral speech full time with only very short two hours long nonspeaking periods during times I was really upset (for example when my fish died), for around a year (which was extremely exhausting, because I was forcing myself, which ended up making my mental health horrible and I was terribly burnt out). I was forcing myself to use oral speech at the time because me using AAC was accepted, but treated as less than, and I was scared people would be angry with me.

When I was 12 my oral speech was slowly beginning to decline again.

Later on (maybe mid 13?) I lost all oral speech for two days, and then eventually having oral speech that was really impaired. During this time I also only had acsess to oral speech at home, and not at school. Eventually resulting in a longer fully nonspeaking period.

This continued for a very long time, and my oral speech fluctuated a lot, ranging from short nonspeaking periods to longer ones.

Where I am at currently, I have acsess to zero oral speech (outside of occasionally mumbling hard to understand words when alone as a stim, or to my gecko. These words would not be able to be understood by other people.).

I currently use the same tablet that had TalkTabletPRO on it, except I now use Avaz instead of TalkTabletPRO. Avaz works much better for me, and allows me to use the voice I want to use.

It feels like there is a wall or block in my brain that stops me from acsessing the area of my brain that oral speech is located. I can try to use oral speech, but often times it just physically will not come out at all, or it will come out but is fully incoherent and I cant even understand it. Usually it just wont come out at all, though. It is not a purposeful thing I do for comfort, I physically can not speak.

I use a few different terms to describe my speech, but I usually say I am nonspeaking, primarily nonspeaking, or situationally nonspeaking. I do not feel that the term semispeaking is fitting for me, because I am not a speaking person who loses speech when under stress. I loose oral speech under stress, yes, but also loose it for no reason, and when I loose oral speech it is not usually for short periods. I loose speech for long periods of time and when I do use oral speech it is often impaired (usually just stuttering, but sometimes it is fully incoherent or doesnt match up with what I want to say.). I am also nonspeaking most of the time, which also makes me feel that semispeaking isnt the term for me. I feel most comfortable with being called nonspeaking or primarily nonspeaking, but situationally nonspeaking is also okay. I use AAC almost full time.

My experience is different than life long nonspeakers, because I am a nonspeaking person who lost consistent speech later in life. When I say I am nonspeaking online people tend to think I am a life long nonspeaker, and I want to make it clear I am not. Whilst it is important to listen to my experiences too, it is also important to listen to the experiences of life long nonspeakers.

[frownyalfred]

Obsessed with Borderline!! Is there any chance of you describing how everyone's minds work?

Like Steph's for example, being like Bruce's; ordered chaos, or Damian's running like a river in full force, or Tim's being frantic and all over the place?

Ooh, I guess I haven't really dived into how their minds really feel. I should do that in the next chapter. But my instinctual response is:

Bruce: steady, logical but in shades of grey, constantly shifting through thoughts but when you look directly at it, it's completely still. You can't truly parse it, it's like trying to grab onto a fistful of smoke (unless you're his kids and know how to get around it) It also hurts sometimes, to look directly at that darkness.

Dick: Worried but light, playful, deceptively easy going. He thinks about people largely through lenses of past memories and emotions. Highly empathetic, constantly reaching out to the others in the bond. Checking up on them frequently, can turn icy and serious in the blink of an eye. Naturally good at shielding but loses the ability to shield himself as he tires.

Jason: His mind is quicker than Dick's, almost as quick as Tim's. He scans people in terms of threats and potential risk. Deep down, his mind is a warm, loyal space to crawl into -- combined, it makes him an excellent shielder as well. He has a sly, sometimes inappropriate, sense of humor. Lazarus water threatens at the edges of most of his memories, which he funnels into anger instead of grief.

Tim: quick and logical like Bruce, but far more blunt and with fewer shades of grey. Great information processor and desperately curious about new information. Worse with processing emotions, especially difficult ones. Thinks in a utilitarian mindset, which makes him a good team leader. less familiar with close contact, has a weaker bond with the others in the bond, though this is improving as he settles into it. Thinks through the logic of the bond too frequently to use it instinctually like some of the others -- yet.

Damian: fiercely defensive of Bruce, suspicious of most of the others. soft spot for Dick, Cass, and sometimes Steph. Largely innocent despite what he's seen, same hint of Lazarus green at the edge of some of his thoughts (but not most). Unsure of himself, sometimes unable to control strong emotions in the bond, but is getting better. enjoys sending memories down the bond and finally having something to share with everyone (especially Bruce).

Steph: rigid where Tim is curious, cautious despite her own streak for danger. suspicious and resentful of authority over her, despite agreeing with it occasionally. her mind has the ability to be just as icy as it can be welcoming. she observes far more than she intervenes, but when she intervenes, it's with her full chest. one of the first to truly grasp shielding and to use it effectively after Jason and Dick. secretly protective of several bond members, and now the entire bond.

Cass: largely communicates in images, memories, and emotions in the bond. She's perfectly clear and adept in this format, and finds it easier than before. despite the invasion of her mind, she welcomes the new abilities and closeness. also has a deep seated sense of humor and lightness, thinks through memories in terms of their physicality (flips and footwork and sense memories, etc). Her mind has the ability to uplift the entire bond, and is a good complement to Bruce's in that way.

[silver-tooth-the-panther]

Half-Demon! Tanjiro AU Masterpost

(This has been my comfort AU for a while)

I personally love the idea of Tanjiro having some properties of a demon, but he can still keep his humanity. So here are some details about the AU! (Keep in mind that I haven’t finished the manga)

In this AU, Tanjiro couldn’t fully cure his demon side even after defeating Muzan, but he was able to regain his humanity. His body changed quite a bit and some of the changes are:

He doesn’t need to eat people and he could use his blood to make other demons regain their humanity.

He can bring back dead demons by rebuilding them using their Blood Demon Art remnants

He can also turn people (both dead and alive) into half demons

However, he cannot bring back a human if their head was destroyed

And he can’t bring back demons that don’t have a Blood Demon Art

He can control water to fight off hostile demons and to defend himself. Tanjiro can also use it to heal people.

When he’s pissed, Tanjiro can turn water into fire and use it as a heatwave (he’s only done this once though)

Tanjiro grew quite a bit. Now he’s 6 feet and 4 inches tall

When he is ready for battle, his fangs and claws come out and his eyes become those of a demon.

When he isn’t fighting, he just looks like a normal human with tiny micro fangs.

When it comes to sunlight, he can go out in the daytime, but his skin is extremely sensitive. He can’t stay out for too long, otherwise he gets an extreme sunburn.

After every battle, he needs to regain his strength by sleeping.

Tanjiro can also purr! He usually does it when he’s happy, sick, or injured.

He will occasionally hold someone who is sick or injured close and purr so that they can heal faster

The power of the blood demon art gets halved when they become half demons. This has angered quite a few demons when Tanjiro tried to convert them

Tanjiro still prefers to use his sword in battle. He only uses his fangs and claws if he has to.

He’s quite cuddly and his bigger stature makes him a giant teddy bear

Demons can communicate using a language of growls (it’s really cute!) and now Tanjiro can do that too

They can also communicate telepathically with Tanjiro like Muzan was able to do

When demons suffer from panic attacks or get too flustered, they lose control of their voice and they start growling, roaring and crying

Half demons also have human disguises, so they can walk through villages with no suspicions

He is the new Demon King! It take him a minute to get the hang of it, but he figures it out!

Tanjiro also is incredibly proud of the demons who’ve made progress

Everything here applies to Nezuko too, except the height change, water powers, ability to bring back demons, and the role as Demon King

In this AU, Tanjiro and Zenitsu are dating while Inosuke and Nezuko are just vibing and doing their own thing.

Feel free to ask me any questions or have me write drabbles about the AU! If I get any questions, I’ll link them to this master post.

Chapters:

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

More Information!!

How the demons are doing

Zohakuten and Karaku chat ai!

Tanzen Headcanons!

OC information!

Chat With Half-Demon Tanjiro!

Hashira Information!

Incorrect Quotes!

“Drink the Juice!”

More incorrect quotes!

Drabbles!

When the Emotional Support Needs Help (warning comfort vore)

The Friendly Beast: Tanjiro vers. (contains comfort vore)

The Friendly Beast: Gyutaro vers. (Contains comfort vore)

When Worlds Collide

Flying High

You Can Trust Me (contains soft vore)

Safety From The Sun (contains comfort vore)

Lost And Found (contains soft vore)

Brotherly Troubles (contains soft vore)

In The Belly of The Beast (contains soft vore)

I’ll Keep You Warm (Contains soft vore)

Traveling Within a Harpy (contains soft vore)

Protected by a Friend (contains soft vore)

Mom Mode (contains soft vore)

[ask-cinnavanillamelody]

Momentary Mod Explanation and Apology

It has come to my revelation that I may be hurting people unintentionally with my choice of wording sometimes, and I would like to explain myself and apologize.

I really hate being accused of things, especially of saying words and phrases I didn't say. I also have a bit of a speech impediment, (I consider it one) sometimes, I have occasional slurred speech, and people cannot understand me when I am speaking. I also have voice modulation issues, so sometimes I am speaking quieter or louder than I realize.

(I am also half deaf in my left ear and have audio processing issues due to ADHD)

Because of these facts, I always take great care in saying exactly what I mean as clearly as I can, so there is no room for misinterpretation. Sometimes, I punctuate my sentences out loud, or I talk like Yoda does, (thing, verb, question) for example:

"Do you want pizza for dinner?"

"what?"

"Pizza, Dinner, You want?"

still with me?

this care I have in communication with others carries over in text conversations, and I realize that when I type a certain way, I have a very sarcastic voice or a very stern/upset tone. Sometimes I don't realize I am upset until I am actively typing in an upset state of mind. I have a short temper, and it is very easy for me to get poked into that state of mind. All facial expressions or vocal cues are lost, and it's very easy for others to misinterpret what I type, for being aggressive and meaning something else that I did not mean at all. For example. I might text someone,

"Hey, sometimes *thing you do* is really annoying to me, could you *change behavior*?"

and it can be interpreted as:

"Hey you're REALLY annoying, could you like, not?"

This is a very loose example, but it illustrates my point well. Another thing is if I use a word that's very similar to another word, and its meaning gets misconstrued.

I told someone they were exhibiting "childish behavior" and they took that as "You are a child".

I said the phrase, "You cannot lie to me" and it was taken as "You are lying to me. (actively)" or "You have lied to me"

Those two phrases have two entirely different meanings and connotations. Saying someone is "being childish" does not mean you are calling them a child, it means they are exhibiting behavior that a child would.

"You cannot lie to me" means exactly that, "You cannot actively lie to me" That is not calling someone a liar, that is saying they do not have the ability to lie directly to you.

I can see how those two phrases can be misinterpreted, however, if they appear to be coming from an aggressive party. And for that, I deeply apologize. I did not mean to lose my temper, and I did not mean to throw out any sort of insults. If I have ever not clearly communicated with any of you, it was not my intention to cause harm, I am just very bad at communicating, and am easily misunderstood.

That is all,

-Mod Mocha 🍫

[wraithwars]

remake of my first post using @arisenreborn's wonderful arisen & pawn questionnaire. both characters changed enough that i felt like i had to redo this & will possibly be posting a more detailed character sheet for them in the future. <3

♛ THE ARISEN:

NAME: Valkyrie AGE: 22 RACE: Human PRONOUNS: She/Her/Hers PREFERRED VOCATION: Warfarer FAVORED GIFTS: Anything handcrafted, practical items & books FAMILY: Likely Deceased Parents, Sid (Adoptive Father)

POSITIVE TRAITS: Loyal, Determined, Curious, Willful NEGATIVE TRAITS: Reckless, Impulsive, Nosy LIKES: Exploration, Sunny Days, Learning new things DISLIKES: Uncontrolled Fires, Rich People (the self-serving, greedy kind), Goblins

1. What was their life like before becoming Arisen?

At ten years old, Valkyrie was found hiding in the recently razed village of Great Oak by a traveling merchant named Sid. She doesn't quite recall her life before, flashes of it sometimes reaching her, but whether she was repressing the memories or simply couldn't process them, she finds herself unable to stay fixated in the past. With Sid's help, she soon leaves it behind entirely and begins to forge a new path.

Perhaps it was because people knew of the tragedy that befell Sid before meeting Valkyrie, how goblins had taken the lives of his wife and son, but no one questioned the girl's arrival and welcomed her to the village with open arms. There she was raised by the community. She learned to cook, to hunt, and even to run Sid's shop while he was away. And as she grew older she developed a penchant for magic and even herbology.

By the time she was thirteen, she felt fully acclimated to her new life and even began to refer to Sid as her father. Though she still startled at the sight of flames and suffered from the occasional nightmare, she now felt safe. And for Sid, he made peace with the losses he suffered, knowing they were guiding him every step of the way as he raised this girl.

As she got older, Sid's health began to decline. Apothecaries and doctors were baffled, unable to find a cause or a cure, and as time went on Valkyrie found herself filling more of his roles within the village. By seventeen, she was running his shop full-time by day and at night, taking care of him. Were it not for the community of people helping her, they surely would have lost the shop and fallen into poverty.

At age eighteen, she finds Sid had passed in his sleep.

She shortly after relinquishes ownership of the shop to a trusted friend and leaves the village behind, unable to handle the reminder every nook and cranny held. Instead, she decides to travel like she always dreamed of and learn more of the world, hopefully finding purpose along the way.

Four years later, she finds herself in Melve enveloped in flame and a stillness in her chest.

2. How do they handle being Arisen, and the responsibilities that come with it? A gnawing preemptive guilt follows Valkyrie on her journey, no matter the amount of days that pass by. She's afraid she won't be able to save everyone, that her adventure will be packed with perilous missions and insurmountable obstacles. Despite this, she's still determined to try, unwilling to fail as Arisens before her had.

3. What are their thoughts on Pawns in general? Valkyrie only met a few pawns in her lifetime, but Sid always described them as a helpful people. Even when she loses her memories, she still holds them with the same respect she would anyone else and never treats them as less then. She even becomes a bit overprotective of them after learning how they are sometimes treated by others. Also, the scholar in her is just generally fascinated in their existence and ability to travel to other worlds.

4. What's their relationship like with their main Pawn? Valkyrie is a bit awkward with Nolan at first. She had never been a leader nor felt the inclination to be one, so when she was suddenly forced into the role it felt out of place. There wasn't much confidence in her decisions, and she felt rather guilty that he was stuck by her side.

As her confidence and abilities grow, she sees Nolan as her rock and her perfect counterpart, in fighting style and personality. He keeps her grounded, and she gives him purpose. Soon she finds herself unable and unwilling to be without him.

5. Do they have any interest in being Sovran? What are their opinions on the politics of the world in general? The idea of being Sovran makes Valkyrie throw up in her mouth, but when she sees how shady those in charge are, she's willing to fill the role if it means protecting the people. But she secretly hopes Sven takes up the mantle. Politics had never been her favorite.

6. Who are their love interest(s) and/or closest friends? Ulrika is the first friend Valkyrie had made after leaving her home, and though she no longer holds any memories of her prior to the fell curse, she still finds herself feeling calm in her presence. In the beginning, a lot of her will to move forward was powered by Ulrika's own dedication to protecting the people of Melve and her aid in nursing Valkyrie back to health.

Occasionally, Valkyrie stops by Melve solely to visit Ulrika and they often talk for hours. Ulrika is by far her biggest supporter, and their bond is only strength when she takes up the mantle of Arisen.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

Valkyrie didn't really think of Sven when she first met him, the newfound role of Arisen dominating her thoughts, but after she discovers he's the regentkin she grows rather curious of his intentions. At first she's skeptical, assuming the worst and that Sven was simply there to lay out another trap for her. But as he shows himself to be genuine, she slowly lets down her guard and opens up to the prospect of being allies.

He inadvertently becomes one of her advisors, offering support and any aid he's able to provide without drawing his mother's attention. And sometimes a shoulder to cry on when she feels overwhelmed and not up for the task set before her. On occasion, she also takes the time to tell him tales of her adventures and frequently gifts him little bits and baubles she acquired along the way.

She feels very grateful to consider him a friend.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

Valkyrie would be bit embarrassed to admit that she was enchanted by Srail at first sight. Initially, he had rescued her from a rampaging minotaur that had taken out her entire party. She attempted to flee and right before the strike of the club, she was yanked through a thin crevice between the crags and led to the village to recover. Though he was still posing as a traveling merchant, his untimely rescue had her flustered, something she chalked up to nerves.

The second time she meets him, she knows it isn't just nerves. While she felt like a fool for not seeing through his act, she couldn't help but see him a positive light. For one, he had believed she was the true Arisen with little convincing (the driving force behind his rescue), and then he aided her once again with information on Darragh. His helpful nature only served to amplify her captivation.

Perhaps, it was due to everyone demanding her help, yet for the first time someone had been helping her. And even when Srail later appears in Vernworth requesting her aid with a heist, she doesn't hesitate to agree, eager to repay a debt. After this event, they remain in contact, and she truly values his company.

Although she had good people in her corner, he was one of the few that didn't judge her for thoughts that often wracked her with guilt. Thoughts of abandoning her quest, letting someone else assume the mantle (they both knew she wouldn't let that happen), her developing distaste for always being the one at the rescue. He understood, sympathizing with her plight, and occasionally, he would simply offer comfort.

Valkyrie winds up developing fairly potent feelings for the thief, but fearing what's to come prevents her from taking the first step. She does let the truth slip after rescuing him from the dragon though.

(Has other important friends/bonds such as Brant and Glyndwr but that may have to be a separate post.)

7. What drew them to their preferred vocation? Do they have history with it? Valkyrie was already an eager student, so learning bits and pieces from different vocations simply came natural to her. Jack-of-all-trades, master of none.

8. Do they have any hobbies? Any way of relaxing between all that monster-slaying and traveling? Aside from reading, Valkyrie is an avid lover of music and sometimes will visit the pub simply to listen. She also enjoys writing, often detailing her adventures within journals and even wrote, and continues to write, a comprehensive guide on survival and fighting beasts.

♟︎ THE PAWN:

NAME: Nolan AGE: ???? RACE: Humanoid Pawn PRONOUNS: He/Him/His PREFERRED VOCATION: Fighter FAVORED GIFTS: In love with almost anything gifted to him due to never receiving any, but has a special fondness for baked goods and new armor/clothes INCLINATION: Kindhearted

POSITIVE TRAITS: Alert, Kind, Dedicated, Compassionate NEGATIVE TRAITS: Naive, Socially Awkward (often comes off as intimidating despite being a teddy bear), Self-destructive LIKES: Animals, Sculptures/Statues, Victories in Difficult Battles DISLIKES: The Cold, Sleeping in Beds, Bandits

1. What was their life like prior to being summoned by their Arisen? If he had access to the emotional range he gained after the fact, he'd say his life prior was bleak. Wandering aimlessly until an Arisen had need of him was a given. He would often travel along main roads, engaging in battles he'd happen upon with a near-unusual vigor. But otherwise, he felt positively neutral about his day-to-day.

But then he happened upon bandits. It was so strange to him how, despite it happening so long ago, it came back to haunt him just as he was slowly developing emotions. He remembered being captured and toyed with for amusement, the bandits possessing a clear distaste for pawns. And whenever he would get back up they would strike him down just as hard. If he could have felt anything back then, he thinks he would have felt fear and rage. Both at knowing there was nothing he could do stop them.

2. What is their opinion on the Arisen? How do they view their relationship? Valkyrie was the first to ever to provide him comfort, to speak to him so kindly, and support his ambitions even as they became different from her own. She was the first to drape a blanket over his shoulders, to call out his name in a worried panic and fret over his wounds while tending to them.

So it doesn't take long into their journey for Nolan to find himself entirely devoted to her. And while true in more fate-bound a sense, he feels as if she is his other half. Similar to her, the idea of being separated is not a pleasant one and she often finds herself with an imposing shadow at her heels.

The original intention of their dynamic was meant to be master and their pawn. However, Nolan feels as more of an equal to her and is treated as such. But he still feels a beaming pride at being her chosen.

3. Is there anything about the Arisen they find troublesome? Be it a small quirk or bad habit? (Or are they obviously flawless?) While Valkyrie is smart, she's not much of a planner so as battle-driven as he can be he finds himself in them before he even realizes it. He often chastises her recklessness and frequently finds himself reigning her in before she gets into trouble.

He also notices she doesn't have the best view of herself. Knowing it's something she can only truly fix herself, he still offers daily encouragements and compliments. Even if they leave her flustered.

4. What is their specialization and is there any story behind how they cultivated that skill set? Surprisingly, Nolan takes to learning Elvish rather easily. Outside of Valkyrie, his first non-fate guided friendship was with Glyndwr. The elf is one of the few that can handle his constant barrage of questions and is often met with inquiries in return. He already knew a bit of the language but practices it more intently in order to converse with his friend in their mothertongue.

5. Do they have any thoughts on the politics of the world and their place in it as a Pawn - or how Pawns are treated? Politics generally confuse and hold little interest to him, but as he gains access to a wider arrange of emotions, he does develop certain views on how pawns are treated. He mirrors his Arisen's disgust at the mistreatment in areas such as Bakbattahl and generally finds himself confounded as to where the hatred stemmed from.

He often thinks about that day with the bandits and during the coronation of the false Arisen, and he would not wish that on any pawn, no matter the morality of their master.

6. Does their journey with the Arisen change them in any significant way and how? Nolan was virtually mute before meeting her. He had no reason to speak, so he simply didn't. She helps him find his voice. There's no pressure to do so, but she often gives him little reasons, such as asking his opinion on something or simply engaging in small talk. Soon, he finds himself speaking without needing a reason, and that oddly provides him comfort.

7. Is there a reason they chose their preferred vocation? Nolan is very battle-driven and finds his biggest thrills come from downing imposing foes. And to inflicting as much damage as possible. Though a warrior may be better suited, he likes the ability to protect. (So he protecc and he attacc.) His favorite combination. Also, sliding down hills is easier with a shield.

8. Do they have any hobbies or preferred past-times? Nolan will try every hobby at least once while on his path to self-discovery, but he finds whittling to particularly relaxing and a source of pride for him as his skill increases. He often gifts little whittled creatures to friends he makes along the way. Were they to have the resources, he dreams of making a sculpture. For now though, he's content with smaller projects.

He also finds himself taking in the sights when they stop in major settlements, struck by the beauty of it. Really, he's an artist in a fighter's body. Aside from that, slowly transitioning into the more social one, he enjoys meeting and befriending new people--especially if he had no help from the Arisen in doing so.

[sir-yaps-a-lot]

Doing exactly what my name says, I’m yapping.

So I think I might have DID/OSDD of some kind but i’m not really for certain/completely convinced that I do. I have many questions and concerns for anyone who might know what the fuck is happening to me;

Questions:

Is it possible to not have a headspace as a system?

Could this be the placebo effect from being exposed to people/media to do with it?

Did I use the “Placebo effect” correctly?

Am I just losing my mind?

Have I already lost my mind?

Concerns:

As far as I’m aware I’m always fully conscious

I don’t hear anyone else in my head but sometimes I do things that I would normally never do, completely against my will, for example; Sometimes I go completely nonverbal and lose the ability to communicate in any way but i’m still fully aware of what i want to say and still want to talk or communicate in some way but something that i can’t seem to wrap my head around just won’t let me

I have very sudden and distinct changes in personality that feel to different to be the same person but feel too similar to be different people

I sometimes just.. forget. Like mid conversation I will completely blank out on what was being discussed but I still know that I was experiencing the conversation I just don’t remember it all of a sudden

This is a lot to read and it’s very messy and I don’t have the patience nor energy to make it better, it’s like four in the morning and this has been keeping me up and I don’t think i’m going to be able to sleep until I come to some kind of conclusion.

Thank you for listening to my sleep deprived rant, don’t expect me to post again.. like ever honestly, I literally only made this account to yap occasionally when I don’t have anyone to talk to.

[astridellejo]

My Voice Is Broken So I Don't Use It Anymore What is the Search Term for That?

I began losing functionality of my voice about three years ago. It would happen for a few days at a time, usually when the seasons started to change so I just assumed it was some kind of perfectly normal seasonal hoarseness. It happened to me again in September 2023, but this time it stayed way longer than a few days. It has now been five months since my voice stopped working and I don't think it's coming back. It got on a plane to Peru and said, "See ya!" I've written about my voice loss in previous posts which you can read here and here.

Now that can no longer use my voice like I used to, I've been trying to find some level of community online. Because it turns out, just creating OCs that can't speak, or have difficulty speaking, isn't as fulfilling as I hoped it would be. Curse my needs for occasional social connection! The trick to finding community online is to figure out the correct search terminology that will help get me connected to others.

I started with "spasmodic dysphonia" because that's what the ENT specialist told me I have. Found some information but very few people. I expanded to "laryngeal dystonia", which didn't really take me much further. It did inform me, however, that a panel of experts decided it is the preferred term over "spasmodic dysphonia". Then I thought since I don't talk anymore, I could try using "nonverbal" as a search term. It got me a whole bunch of information on autism, but I am not autistic so that's not going to be the right search term for me. (I am ADHD though.)

So then I thought, "Okay, what is the most generalized concept I could use that is still reasonably accurate to my issue here?" The term "mute" is an option I suppose, but it might be a little too general. Plus it has some negative connotations. Even the dictionary says it's "dated or offensive" in terms of describing someone who cannot speak. Eventually it dawned on me I could simply use "speech disorder" as a search term. I didn't use it at first because I didn't think it was accurate, but I gave it a try. Hey! Look! There's my people!

I'm Astrid. I'm almost 50 (whoa). I have laryngeal dystonia and lost use of my voice only five months ago. Yes, communication now is more challenging, but I'm finding workarounds. And ya know, I actually quite enjoy not talking. I'm learning ASL (American Sign Language) and I absolutely love it! I use my phone to write messages if needed, or good old fashioned pencil and paper whenever I feel thumb typing might take too long.

So if your ability to speak is impeded in some way and/or you use alternative forms of communication for whatever reason, from a pencil and paper, to an AAC device, to sign language, I see you! I finally found the right search term and I see you! You rock!

[image description] Hipster Ariel wears thick-framed black glasses, a green scarf around her neck, a lavender shirt, and a matching lavender starfish in her side-braided red hair. From her right ear hangs a bespoke dinglehopper earring. Ariel sweeps her hair over her left shoulder revealing on her right shoulder a stylized tattoo of a seahorse. In her left hand she holds up a pink mobile phone with text on it in large letters reading, "voices are overrated". [/image description]

[ilthit]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

I was tagged by @keirgreeneyes

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 

Not counting orphaned or anonymized, 297.

2. What's your total A03 word count?

803,155 words, and that includes co-author input. I've been a short fic, instant satisfaction kinda writer for most of this time.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently trying to finish something for Scum Villain's Self-Saving System, and editing the epic Righteous Blood, Ruthless Blades campaign story with @minutia-r. I get really into a fandom and write a bunch for it, then I get out of the fandom and write whatever + original fiction, then maybe get into a different fandom. You know how it is.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Bonus Material, The Makings of Fate, One Thing or Another, The Upstart King and His Golden Concubine, and Some Sugar for Daddy, all of them Scum Villain. It's definitely the biggest fandom I've written for recently. I used to write Discworld and LotR, which are bigger, but those are mostly not up on AO3 and none are very long.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I usually do, especially for smaller fandom fics, not always. But even if I don't, I see and appreciate; I also see and appreciate the kudos. No pressure to comment, y'all.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I have written a fair bit with angsty endings. Maybe The Greyest Timeline (Community); or maybe it just felt angsty, because I wrote it to process my grief over Troy and Abed's separation. Also there may be some I anonymized... but that's my business.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

What a question. 🤔 I'm not sure I can answer that one. I recognize a lot may have more mixed endings, but there are too many to think through.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Rarely. I can't remember an incident right now.

9. Do you write smut?

Yeah.

10. Do you write crossovers?

Not as a rule. My favourite of the few currently up is The Last Florentian, a crossover between Poirot and Jeeves & Wooster, in which Lady Florence and Miss Lemon fall in love.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! Sometimes ones I really didn't think deserved it, but it's not up to me, is it? I always give permission.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Hehe yeah, the Lin Moniao series, which grew out of TTRPG.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Pass!

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Original works. My 60s LA gumshoe novel, the superhero comedy that in retrospect is probably not as funny as I thought it was.

16. What are your writing strengths?

🤔 Side characters with interiority. Ability to keep an entire world in my head, and invent on the spot. Flexibility. Sense of the shape of a story. Not getting too hung up on whether what I produce is popular (so I don't write stuff I don't care about just for the clicks, or get distressed if I get none).

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Losing motivation in the middle of writing longer fic. Underthinking. Messy. Unable to edit effectively due to having lost interest. Self-indulgent ficlets that are more me speaking my thoughts out than anything designed for an audience. Piling my plate too high when I get excited for challenges. Occasionally I have to take a break in the Pit of Despair.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Usually not necessary. Fine if you like it.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Not entirely sure. It was either Dragonlance or Ranma 1/2. Neither will be on AO3.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

If the Lin Moniao series counts as a fic, then it's the Lin Moniao series.

Has everybody been tagged? tagging uhhh @minutia-r

[tobiasdrake]

Finally, we're off to sea. If that's what you call this.

You know, this just occurred to me. If Patches has to keep his eyes shut to use his magic, how do we navigate? Like. Is it someone's job to rotate him? Take him by the shoulders and turn him left or right?

In any case, at least we're on our-- Hey, where the hell is Teaks? Did she miss the boat or fall overboard? Or was she the only one of us with enough good sense to go, "Hahaha nope, I'll wait for the next one."

I'd heard that no one ever returns but I'd just assumed the Dweller of Woe was eating them or something. Are they. Like. Community building instead? That'd be weird.

Kind of, then. It's like a psychic ranch. She keeps people as livestock and occasionally takes them out to slaughter.

Oh shit yes. Can we board it now? Trade in this dinghy for the spoils of our conquest? TELL ME we can do this side quest!

Aww, I wanted it to be ours now. But okay. Fine. We can do my thing first. Pout.

Hold up, how can the night be everlasting if we're expecting an eclipse? Night isn't what happens when the moon is present; It's what happens when the sun is absent. The moon has no authority over the night and day cycle, and is in fact frequently in the sky during day.

You cannot have an eclipse without a sun in the sky. The sky doesn't work that way.

Is the eclipse going to, like, magically pierce it somehow? Because, again, you can't have an eclipse during perpetual night.

Well, I guess if it's a lunar eclipse, you can. Those are pretty common.

You know, I kinda expected you guys to pull up close and make us swim the rest of the way while you hightailed it away from Psychic Cattle Farm Island. Surprised you were willing to stick your necks out like this.

Means a lot to me. I will try not to let you get eaten by the Dweller.

T_T I'm sorry I made fun of your stupid raft. This is really touching and now I want to be besties forever.

Guess we should set up camp and figure out--

TEAKS!

She did wait for the next boat. Or she swam. One or the other.

It's great to have you with us, Teaks. I'm sorry if you end up doomed forever because of it.

There are illusionary treasure chests hiding ghost ambushes. I hate this--

Oh. Pardon me. These are woodland spirits. Illusionary treasure chests hiding gaea's vengeance. The metaphysical consciousnesses that guide the natural order of our world want me dead for some reason. Can't imagine wh--

...okay, so perhaps I have not always been the most reverent of Solstice Warriors. We may have gotten off on the wrong foot. But. It doesn't have to be that way. I believe that, with maturity and grace, we can learn to understand each other and-- RANDOM BULLSHIT GO.

HAHAHA GOT 'EM. Test me, fuck-os.

You know, this is a nice little town the cattlefolk have made for themselves. We've got electric lighting. Nice homes. You almost don't even notice the gloom.

There's even transparent ghost people wandering near their graves! That's great. It means when the Dweller eats once of your loved ones, they come right back to you lickity-split.

You know, I was wondering. I figured there was some sort of low-level psychic barrier that just convinces everyone to stay, but no. It's threat of force. Everyone lives here in uncertainty wondering when the Dweller will summon them to be devoured, but if you try to leave then you're summoned immediately.

Denial? Your bar is denial? That's pretty clever, honestly. Points for that.

GARL NO

Do not give these people hope. They have no ability to influence what's about to happen in any way. If we win then they'll be free to go whether they knew it was coming or not, but if we lose then they'll be crushed by false promises. Hype is an insidious monster that strangles reality in its bed.

Let's just kill what we came to kill, and then we can start talking about it. It isn't news until it actually happens.

There's something about this place. Like. A commentary on the way we use escapism to distract from the hopelessness of living in a world that seems to be getting worse by the day. People meeting at The First Stage of Grief to share fictions of what they want their lives to be like, it resonates with our moment in time.

This place is really interesting.

Hold up, the squiddy on the end of Patches's staff is alive? I honestly thought that was a woodcarving.

Yeah, I have nothing to add to that. This place is a sobering reminder that action and glory are meant for something. In all seriousness, the end-goal shouldn't be the enrichment of the self, but of society.

An organization that claims ownership of violence for "the greater good" must always be cognizant that what they are doing is for the betterment of people's lives. Not of "society" as a whole even, but specifically, "Is the service I'm providing making people happier?"

[neighboringheart]

hi I hope you're having a good day

may I inquire about yours ocs? c:

anon get out here get out here so I can hold your hand and know your face and leave a lil smooch on your cheek (I'm already giving one to @eclipsedmoon87 for replying to my other post asking about them lmao this is for the both of you)

okay so this is gonna get kinda long so just bear with me here

I've got a handful of different OCs but there's only two that I've really fleshed out and I will tell you about them now!

before I start telling you about them tho it's important to establish that they're a part of an AU that's an offshoot of the end of MTMTE/LL in which that the universe they end up in has a cybertron but every Cybertronian is a beastformer

and my OCs are two of these beastformers! they are twin turbofoxes named Turnpike and Trailhead

Trailhead is excitable but just as easily spooked and incredibly fucking smart. He loves experiments of all kinds (even if they're not the safest) and he causes Turn so so much fucking stress all the time from how reckless he can be. He's always carrying some type of blaster, but he's not really that good of a shot. Beware all who may be in the general direction of where he's aiming. He's also religious, but not in a way that was considered palatable back planet-side, as he believes that with the bodies and capabilities Primus gave them, they should use their longevity to find out the full potential of what they can do with their own bodies. Basically, he loves mods and loves his alt-mode dearly, which is frowned upon back home.

Turnpike is the more level headed of the two, they are very stoic, standoffish, and incredible with swords. I'm working on the worldbuilding for this AU still, but I've fully cemented that Turn used to be a fighter in the arena back on Cybertron. They're not religious per se, but like they believe in Primus and similarly to Trail believe that Primus gave them their ability to transform for a reason, and that their robot modes are not their "true form" but that both are equally true and ingrained into them. They have a hard time getting close to people due to how alienated they were before being recruited in the arena. Even after gaining mass popularity there, they still didn't like all that attention and were generally mistrustful of many people.

The two of them are sent out on a mission to gather energon from lifeless or abandoned planets since the naturally occurring energon that was provided by the fruits that grew on Primus' Hand (a giant ass cyber tree that basically spans over the entire planet in one giant system lol it looks like a forest but is actually all one organism) but those trees stopped growing at around the same time that the Blight appeared

The Blight is basically a neurodegenerative disease that causes any who contract it to gradually lose more and more of their memory and have lapses where they will transform into their beast mode for extended periods with little to no responsiveness where they may wander or become aggressive until one day they transform and never return to their robot mode. Their memories and ability to communicate disappear leaving them as seemingly nothing but a standard mechanimal if it weren't for their transformation seams remaining. Despite meticulous research, the cause and cure are still a mystery

luckily the Blight doesn't kill whoever contracts it, but they're not the same after. most who undergo a full regression end up escaping into the wilds never to be seen again beyond occasional glimpses

While on this mission, their ship is critically damaged and despite it being taboo for cybertronians to communicate with outsiders, Trailhead rigs a distress beacon that ends up being answered by the Lost Light

from there the two of them meet the crew and learn things about themselves and I have more plot ideas planned there but I'll leave that a mystery for now because that's more fun

instead I'll keep telling you some little things about my OCs bc that's what you came here for lmao

since they are turbofoxes, the two of them can be very mischievous especially when they team up and the Lost Light crew finds out very quickly just how wild the two of them can get when properly motivated which is quite often since Trailhead is usually the instigator and Turnpike gets bored a lot

other tidbits to note:

Turnpike is a bit of a lurker and loves to sneak around where they can't be seen. They've got some attention deflectors that Trail made specifically for them so they could avoid fans back home and they love to use them to spy on the crew even if Minimus has told them it's against regulation. They'll stop spying once they know they and Trailhead are actually safe aboard their ship. Before long, they learn just how much they love the simple things: music, arts and crafts, and even dancing. That's when they finally start to break out of their shell and really become close with the others

Trailhead has no such hang ups however. Within minutes of meeting and talking to Brainstorm he immediately dove into finding out everything he could from him and Perceptor. By that first night aboard he's already getting drunk at Swerve's with Brainstorm and Nautica and making friends with everyone he can. His biggest vice however is his vanity. With a life of working in a lab day after day and nothing else to do with his spare time, he became incredibly invested in his own appearance, and as such is very protective of it. One scratch in his finish and his mood is dashed for the rest of the day.

and here's some design concepts I've put together for them. The ones in color I originally traced from a panel of dominus bc I was just trying to figure out a direction and I can't draw for shit so like ignore that I'm working on it lol and the second one is a sketch where I'm just trying to figure out some more realism in the way they're put together like in terms of joints (been inspired after assembling a few model kits I guess lol) as well as playing with some shapes.

(the one with the pink is Trailhead as you could likely guess lol he likes his colors bright)

Anyway I'm still figuring that out and I'm way more of a writer than an artist so any work there is especially slow going forgive me but like hopefully you can see what I'm going for there

some other fun notes:

the two of them become obsessed with Minimus. They love to call him big brother to get on his nerves. For them, it was a term of endearment used with the other turbofoxformers in their skulk in the old days, but after everyone else caught the Blight, Minimus is the first other turbofox they've seen in centuries, so in addition to it being entertaining to call him that bc it irritates them, it's also comforting in a way. They also love how small he is since on their Cybertron turbofoxes are quite a bit larger than in the LL Cybertron. they're both a little over a head taller than Minimus when he's irreducible. Once they get comfortable with the crew, they're constantly plotting how they're gonna get Minimus into the nest they share so they can all sleep in a pile in their alts like Primus intended (according to Trailhead anyway Turnpike just likes it bc it's cozy)

but yeah I've got like a million random notes about this AU and these two scattered all over my docs and one day I'll have the motivation to actually write the whole damn thing lmao but for now I hope y'all enjoyed my ramble about them and please tell me what you think of my little guys

oh and I haven't gotten their sexualities set in stone yet since I'm still trying to figure out what kind of endgame would be the best narratively for them both I'm pretty set on Turnpike just not really giving af but being a total romantic who commits to one partner only and that Trailhead is somewhere in the ace and aro spectrums like he doesn't really give af about romance or interface but also isn't opposed to fucking around with his friends if he thinks it might be fun and he enjoys making other people feel good and hasn't figured out what he wants long term just yet

so like I know I wanna pair Turnpike up with someone (and already have someone in mind feel free to guess) and as for Trailhead I'm still not sure what his love life will look like just yet hell I might even leave that one open ended if it would serve the story better I just know that he'd be happy to find the friends he finds on the Lost Light they both are but I feel like he'd find satisfaction in that alone while Turnpike would want more if that makes sense

I also had an idea for him ending up in a sort of queerplatonic polycule situation with some of the other characters that I thought might be fun to explore but it would be a while before I'd get the logistics of that down well enough to be able to implement that so we'll see lol more people = more complexity and I can only handle so much of that before my brain starts to smoke but the image is in my mind and I want to make it real if I can

oh god I accidentally talked about this a lot longer than intended lol I hope anon and anybody else who might be reading this likes these dorks too bc I need the motivation to write this story and also would love people to bump ideas off of for potential side plots and such since I want to write something more long form and there's a lot of blanks still

at last my little guys are unleashed on the world uh T&T be upon ye

[misc-obeyme]

I was a bit disappointed with what happened next, but I knew we'd be disappointed. I'm still hoping that we'll talk a bit more about what happened in the next lesson, it's pretty unpleasant to leave it like that. Also, I love the anon's idea that "Father" planned to put Lucifer in this situation to manipulate him into and "saving" him. it makes "Father's" intentions in this story a lot more coherent, it just makes me worry even more about the boys. 1/2

My biggest issue was that everybody just seemed to forget about the events of the last lesson all together. It wouldn't have been so bad if someone had at least mentioned it?? It just seemed like okay, moving on! And I was like no wait but my feelings are still all wound up from the last lesson, you can't just move on like that! But really, I shouldn't be surprised.

I hope we get some more about it in the next lesson, too, but at this point I'm not counting on anything anymore. And I agree! That take on Father being manipulative and trying to coerce Lucifer into forgiving him and all that does make the whole situation make a little more sense. It's still incredibly annoying, but at least it wouldn't be completely out of left field.

It does make Father's character potentially more conniving, though. And that can't be good, as you say. My main consolation is that Lucifer, while still accepting Father's love and all that, wasn't like okay time to go home. He was still going to stay a demon. And the rest of the brothers will follow him, so even if Father tries to manipulate them, I think they'll be able to withstand it.

If MC gets to meet Father I'll lose my whole mind. So far it's all been Michael, I don't think MC has ever spoken to Father directly? Not that I can remember. But of course just thinking about letting MC straighten that guy out is pretty satisfying lol.

At this point I have zero confidence in their time travel writing abilities. Considering the dumpster fire that was Lesson 16, I'm not expecting this to go smoothly. Especially because I think this Nightbringer arc is more complicated.

I haven't been told anything by people with access to game files, but I've seen a few comments in the community and the general consensus is "prepare for disappointment."

So I am going into the next lesson with zero expectations. It's probably gonna make me crazy and I'll likely get on here and rant about it, but I've come to accept that this is simply the way of the world now. Solmare butchers their story and I write unhinged tumblr posts about it lol.

On the one hand, it's frustrating, but on the other hand, it keeps me on my toes! I can almost never predict what's going to happen in this story and that's a fairly unusual thing for me.

And in the end, as long as I get to read silly daily chats and kiss demons occasionally, I'm willing to overlook the rest. I just file that stuff away under the "Never Actually Happened" file in my brain. 😌

[thelostrainbowthenovel]

Finally got around to making an official/colored ref of Apollo! :3 He has been on my mind a lot lately(mainly thanks to this one idea I've been thinking about, of him and Mini knowing about Nate's sexuality/supporting him there), and since I had a little time for art I wanted to finally make an official ref for him! :D

He is still not a character that I will be focusing on too much, but I do have some other ideas I want to get to with him sometime. These mainly being drawing him with Damini(since they are dating, and I just imagine they would be so cute together), writing something with him and Damini(again to showcase their relationship, but also to explore some of the backstory changes I made to Mini), and writing something with him/Mini and Nate, since like mentioned above I have been thinking about the idea of them being a mini friend group, plus also giving Nate some Feorian LGBTQ+ friends since he doesn't currently have any. But yeah, I hope you enjoy! ^w^

Here is a mini bio for him!

================================================

- Apollo Lumen . Age: 27 . Gender: demiboy(he/they) . Sexuality: bisexual . Relationships: Lady Damini Koeler(together for two years) . Abilities: hand-to-hand combat, bow-and-arrows, solar/sun-based magic(natural)

Citizen of Feor, boyfriend to Lady Damini Koeler. Growing up in a poor family, he at first joined the army as soon as he could, as he was following on the footsteps of the other men in his family and he wanted to help out with earning more money. His time as a soldier was short-lived however, as he was only in the army for a couple of years before he gained a serious injury that gave him a large and rather nasty scar on his back, as well as an early retirement. While it took him sometime to recover physically and mentally from his injury, he was not that sad about retiring from the army as he always had dreams of becoming a traveling musician and finally had a chance to pursue that dream. At first he started out as a backup guitar player for this smaller band, working on his own music on the side, before it eventually picked up some interest and he was able to start his solo career. He first met Damini at one of his earliest solo concerts, and they bonded after she came up to him after his show and complemented him on his work. They clicked enough that they kept up communication afterwards, mainly through letters as he was out traveling for a while. When he returned to Feor was when he asked her out for the first time, not wanting to lose anymore time with her. Their dating has been a little more low-key since they have different occupations and are not seen in public together often, but they haven't been keeping it a complete secret either, and are currently making plans to move in together as they are hopeful for their future together. So far in his musician career he has become famous enough to both live comfortably and have many fans, even in other countries outside of Feor. Aside from Mini, another fan of his music is Princess Hestia, as they both play the guitar and she finds some of the things he has done with it very cool. Through Mini he has also become good friends with Prince Ignatius, with them only hanging out occasionally but they have become close enough, to the point Nate felt comfortable enough to open up about his sexuality and lover with him and Mini. Considered strong, warm, and bright, he is a very charming and friendly person that is able to get anyone to loosen up and have fun with his carefree and happy disposition. He is also incredibly open-minded and accepting of everyone who is not appreciated by general society, but he is also very critical of said prejudiced societies as he proudly stands up and advocates for what he believes in, even if this has not always been appreciated by close-minded people. In terms of more negative traits of his, he is a perfectionist to the point he will forget to take care of himself in order to get something done the way he wants it to be(causing him to feel pretty awful afterwards), he is easily distracted and forgetful so he always has to write things down, he bottles his stress too much to the point he either gets sick or lashes out, and while not necessarily a negative trait, as he is always out traveling he often forgets to make time for his loved ones, but he always makes it up to them when he returns home.

[vigilskeep]

How does Keir feel about Justice?

keir’s working on a very simple equation here: he loves anders. justice is an inextricable part of anders. thus, by default, he loves justice. these are all inevitable basic facts that nothing could alter. anders what’s not clicking. anders why are you crying

which is not even to say that keir only cares abt justice because of anders. to go back to keir and anders’ first meeting, they’re initially confrontational, and that changes after what happens at the chantry. one of multiple reasons for that is seeing justice. keir loves magic, is fascinated by spirits, and is all in favour of doing immeasurable violence to protect the mages he cares about, that’s like, his whole thing. anders gets a solid +30 keir approval here for risking everything to help the people he loves and making the hard choices etc etc, but justice gets the same for his ferocity and protectiveness. (also that whole “you will never take another mage” bit was hot okay we can all agree that and move on.) keir continues to not be certain about justice, having not much to go off except anders’ fears and insecurities, until dissent and night terrors in act 2.

in dissent, justice gets out of hand and frightens anders, yes, but if you don’t lose it after seeing a thing like that, when are you going to? i mean, keir just saw a girl get threatened with tranquillity and implied sexual assault in the same prison his little sister is trapped in, he’s about to fucking lose it too. and even after all that justice listens! and stops! then in night terrors justice is completely loyal and reliable (more than anyone else in this damn house). justice absolutely has keir’s respect and trust by the end of act 2. keir also knows that anders doesn’t have the same confidence in justice (or in himself in general, which to keir’s uncertain eyes seems like a connected or the same issue) and keir is trying to handle that carefully while having all the delicate situation handling ability of a sledgehammer. i also don’t mean that keir doesn’t think justice is capable of getting confused and losing it and doing a lot of harm, just that so is keir, and unlike him (in keir’s opinion), justice has an actual reason for not being able to understand how people work or this world works, and they can help each other or something maybe. i don’t think keir could fully understand or communicate any of this but that’s roughly where he’s at rn. and i don’t think he’s straight up in love with justice or anything per se, not as i would say he’s in love with anders, because if nothing else the ability to talk to justice when he’s up front is simply so fucking limited. (for the same reason i haven’t yet figured out exactly how i think justice feels at all though i have a few uhhh preliminary brushstrokes of it if u will.) but he does love justice, as described above, by default, because he is in love with anders, and they’re part of each other. if that distinction makes sense to anyone but me lmao

this is all based off my perception of justice in da2, which to summarise is hinged on 1) justice’s character gets pretty butchered in this game and nobody likes him which makes me sad, and i’ve decided in-world to pin part of that on varric’s perception of justice so i can get away with a few small fixes, sorry varric. and 2) anders and justice aren’t separate guys to me. i don’t really follow the portrayal of justice as like a houseguest in anders’ head with occasional commentary. i very much base my characterisation of anders-justice on their introductory quest bit abt not even the greatest scholar being able to tell where one ends and the other begins. like there’s a more anders part and a more justice part, sure, but when he’s doing his spirit mode thing that’s also anders and when he’s going about his regular day that’s also justice. i mean just listen to him in his banters, that’s clearly also justice in his day to day conversation. so you can’t pick and choose one or the other, and to only love anders and not justice would to me be to not love an ever-present part of him, and personally i would hate playing a romance like that. it’s certainly not something keir “zero to one hundred loyalty” hawke is remotely capable of. oh and 3) i adore justice he is my pal and he has Such A Bad Time in this game i need someone to care abt and not be afraid of him. for my health. canon can call me back later idc

these are all rough concepts and i need to finish the playthrough to figure out what i think justice is thinking but ultimately i Do kind of think it would be fun eventually if they kiss and then anders immediately claps his hand over his mouth and say scandalised “justice, you—you bloody hypocrite!” while keir laughs unexpectedly loud. that is my justhanders take. is that the right ship name