#These were simultaneously very fun and also Hell

[lethesbeastie]

Reference sheets of Chorus and Artemis I threw together for a comic I'm working on

[justhereforthemeta]

Romantic expectations and the story we didn't see: A magic trick hiding in plain sight

Here's a hopeful meta for all my fellow celestial brainrot sufferers out there. Cheers! :)

This idea started as a dead end, trying to track the movements of Crowley’s sideburns/tattoo because I thought time travel shenanigans were afoot. I had to abandon that theory when it was pointed out that David was simultaneously filming as the sideburns-having Fourteenth Doctor, and in-universe Crowley can do whatever he wants with his facial hair whenever he feels like it. But hey - null findings are still findings!

On the bright side, pausing the show to make notations in a spreadsheet forced me to slow down and notice other changes I'd overlooked the first time around: acting choices, costuming choices, references to book lore. And possibly a few surreptitious flicks of the wrist, in places where we’re meant to be focused on the magician’s other hand.

@amuseoffyre and @ineffablefood had a great exchange recently about romance and “the significance of misdirection and three-in-one (magic) tricks” throughout the show. I suspect Neil has done something brilliant with the audience’s long-standing expectations (since the 1990s, really) for the love story between Crowley and Aziraphale to develop. And while it is a wonderful story indeed, playing to this expectation lets Neil distract his audience from the blink-and-you'll-miss-them seeds he's planting for the final chapter.

Continued below the cut...

Let’s start at the beginning of Episode 2. First, context: In the previous installment, Crowley stormed out of the bookshop, was whisked away to Hell by Beelzebub where he learns about the Book of Life threat to Aziraphale’s existence, then returned to the bookshop to dance a little apology dance and hide Gabriel with an unintentionally massive joint miracle. In S2E2, we and Shax catch up with Crowley as he's snoozing in the Bentley.

Shax: “You’re in trouble”

A. J. Crowley, cool as a cucumber: “Obviously. Former demon, hated by Heaven, loathed by Hell. How will our hero cope?”

Interesting! Sarcastic? Yes, absolutely; but that’s also a good 4500 years and an averted apocalypse away from “I’m a demon. I lie,” wouldn’t you say? Someone is sounding a whole lot less depressed and aimless and navel-gazey (do snakes have navels?), and a whole lot more like he’s got a project to focus on, since his "what's the point?" ruminations on the park bench in E1.

And of course we all noticed the costume change right away. Hello, black turtleneck. Feeling cute today, thought I’d cover up my graceful long neck? That sounds unlikely. Let’s put a pin in this one.

There’s also an interesting acting choice going on here. Crowley speaks to Shax in a funny, drawling, too-cool-for-you voice that we haven’t heard in a while. Specifically, not since 1967. If you go back and give the S1E3 scene in the Dirty Donkey a listen, you’ll hear it (and if you know of another instance of it that I've missed, please let me know!). In S2E2, he keeps up this odd voice (if anybody knows what kind of affect this is supposed to be, please do tell!) throughout this dialogue with Shax, except for the brief moment when she first surprises him about the joint miracle having been detected.

1967 was a fun year. Crowley masterminded a heist! And seemed like he was having a ball doing it, right up until his little caper was called off after Aziraphale brought him the thermos of holy water. Crowley spoke to his co-conspirators in that same funny, very 60’s-caper-film voice. He wore a hip 60’s turtleneck. He bought petrol for the only time ever, so he could get those sweet James Bond bullet hole decals for his car (per the book, seen on the Bentley in the show).

Those James Bond bullet hole decals would of course have been part of a promotion for this 1967 release, which you just know our film-enjoying demon went to see in the theater:

Starring this suave, be-turtlenecked guy:

And now - begging your forgiveness - a brief rant.

There are a number of posts out there that refer to Crowley’s S2E2 turtleneck as a flirtatious sartorial choice - actually, ‘slutty’ seems to be the favored accusation. There are even a few posts floating around commenting on how sweet it is that Crowley swaps out his slutty, kinky, throw-me-over-your-desk-and-take-me turtleneck for a more dressy and appropriate collared shirt specifically to attend Aziraphale’s Jane Austen ball. 

Now this is all in good fun, and Crowley does indeed look fantastic here, and I do love a good fangirling sesh as much as the next person. However, fandom’s collective tendency to interpret what we are seeing on the screen through the lens of romantic expectation can, at times, give rise to a kind of blinkered enthusiasm that obscures the original text in a haze that is part Mandela Effect, part unrestrained horniness, and part in-group code talking and identity reinforcement.

Respectfully, Crowley’s black turtleneck does not appear at all in S2E5: The Ball. In fact, it never appears again after the end of S2E2.

For Someone’s sake, let’s collectively pull our heads out of the romantic fog/gutter for a moment and focus on what we are actually seeing in the book and on the screen. For Crowley, this is an uncharacteristic within-period costume change. There is a surreptitious flick of the wrist happening here, out in broad daylight, and we are all missing it.

So here’s a thing. Aziraphale appears to have settled comfortably into life on Earth, his neighborhood, his books, using Crowley as an outlet for sharing his good deeds that he would once have reported to Heaven. Meanwhile, at first glance, Crowley appears stuck in a rut. There he slouches on a park bench with Shax in S2E1: a guy who lives in his car, stagnantly clinging to old familiar habits, mulling over the pointlessness of it all.

Setting aside the bit about living in the Bentley (I’m going to attribute this to well-documented issues between him and Aziraphale, discussed in many other excellent metas, and move on), Crowley has at least two very good, proactive reasons for maintaining his contact with Hell through Shax. First and foremost, it’s a source of information he can use to keep ahead of potential threats to Aziraphale and himself.

But also, I would posit…he kinda likes it.

Recall that book GO was first conceived as a parody, with Aziraphale and Crowley as spy-against-spy (but not really) field operatives in an ages-old cold war between Heaven and Hell. Their entire book dynamic is rooted in the trope of two opposing agents who have been in the field for so long that they now have more in common with each other than with their respective head offices. Their St. James’s Park meetings among other spies and ministers trading secrets are a sendup of what was once a well-known Cold War-era cliché. 

Our contemporary Crowley still likes slick outfits and hellaciously expensive watches and high-performing vintage cars and pens that write underwater while looking like they could break the speed limit. He coaches Shax on how to blend in as a demon on Earth, and he helpfully redirects the wayward contact looking for the Azerbaijani sector chief. He loves improvising and getting away with shenanigans under the institutional radar. And boy golly was he impressed with Jane Austen: master spy, brandy smuggler, and mastermind of the 1810 Clerkenwell Diamond Robbery. 

And if you look at it a certain way, for as long as Crowley has considered himself to be on “[his] own side” - going at least as far back as Job - he could almost think of himself as a sort of double agent. It’s actually a very romantic sort of notion, befitting our hopeless romantic of a (professedly former) demon; but it’s romantic in a very different way than we, the audience, have been primed to watch for.

In other words, in a very “on my own side” kind of way, Crowley really gets a kick out of being a spy. Or at least, dressing up and accessorizing as one, and moonlighting as a good-doing double agent when he can get away with it. And also being a plotting criminal mastermind. Two sides of a coin, really. Just look at Jane Austen.

My point is: No, Crowley did not wait around for Shax to come find him in a turtleneck so that he could go flirt with Aziraphale later. He’ll flirt with Aziraphale no matter what. No, this:

is actually this:

Much like the one he wears to the Dirty Donkey in 1967: 

whilst holy water heist-plotting. Here's a clearer shot with gratuitous Bentley, because I love them:

…and which he'll wear again, with appropriate camouflage, while infiltrating Heaven in S2E6:

That is the 1967 planning a HEIST turtleneck for committing ESPIONAGE and STEALING THINGS in. Because turtlenecks are what modern human master spies wear to get their hands dirty - after all, he saw it in a movie once. 

Crowley dons his tactical turtleneck sometime during the first major break in the action (which doesn't happen until after the joint miracle to hide Gabriel) after he learns about the threat the Book of Life poses to Aziraphale. Loverboy started mentally preparing himself to go after that book immediately upon learning that it was in play as a genuine threat. 

Now let’s pick up at the S2E2 Dirty Donkey scene, reading the story from this angle. Of course, Crowley enables Aziraphale’s delusions about Heaven by hiding information from him, and does not disclose the Book of Life threat when they meet again. They go into the pub, Aziraphale shamelessly paws Crowley’s chest like the seductive Bond Girl he is, and Crowley gets to act all smooth and suave and intimidating as he chases off the interloping Mr. Brown (or Mr. Collins for the Pride & Prejudice fans, take your pick).

Ergo, theory: beginning in S2E2, Crowley is already thinking of himself as a Jane Austen/James Bond action hero (“How will our hero cope?”), psyching himself up to rescue Aziraphale by getting his spy game on and stealing the Book of Life.

Now, watch closely...This is where Aziraphale and Crowley brainstorm their plans to solve the problem they both know about: getting Maggie and Nina to fall in love and thereby get Heaven off their backs. Crowley’s vavoom plan is drawn from yet another movie (“Get humans wet and staring into each other’s eyes - vavoom, sorted. I saw it in a Richard Curtis film.”). But Crowley also implicitly shares his solution to the problem he hasn’t told Aziraphale about. And true to form, Crowley’s Jane Austen solution isn’t the same as Aziraphale’s Jane Austen solution. 

Two solutions that fail by the end of Season 2, and a secret third one that might still work...and there's our magic trick of three.

‘“I’m lost. Am I doing a rainstorm?” Yes, babe. And a heist, too - just not until season three. Can I get a wahoo!? 

I won’t spend time on A Companion to Owls during this meta, except to note that in all three minisodes, we get to watch stories that involve Crowley acting as a double agent on “his/their own side” - successfully making Hell and Heaven think he’s fulfilling their will while saving Job’s goats and children; failing to fool Hell when he does a good deed in Edinburgh; and of course, collaborating with Aziraphale whilst evading detection as an infernal turncoat during the Blitz.

(Because this is getting long, I'll also skip over Crowley's interrogation of Jim in this episode - I'll probably come back to that in another meta. But interrogating is a rather spy-ish thing to do.)

When we catch up with Crowley again later, he’s already slipped out of the bookshop, having left Aziraphale to his biblical reverie about Job. He saunters snakily down Whickber Street as usual, but with a very pointed and swift glance over his shoulder (see pic above). This demon is up to something - possibly something we didn’t get to see, something that may have happened offscreen while he stepped out. In any case, knowing there’ve been unfriendly angels in the neighborhood that morning, he’s rightly concerned about being spied on.

From this point until the beginning of episode six, there isn’t a whole lot of opportunity for Crowley to make any next moves. He babysits the bookshop, during which time he manages to wring some crucial information out of Jim; he follows his Crowley’s Angel around like a puppy, and downs a bottle of red like a good old fashioned lovesick boy once that’s been pointed out to him. If any plotting or scheming is underway, this occult being is keeping stumm for now.

This has been a long one, so I’ll wrap up with Crowley’s infiltration of Heaven with Muriel. The turtleneck disguise works (Archer fans, be vindicated!) long enough to gather some information that will be crucial not just to the denouement of S2, but also to Crowley’s journey in S3 (previous post on Crowley's Fall, Saraqael, and memory wiping). And Aziraphale gets to enjoy that view exactly zero times. The point isn’t oh, a turtleneck! How flirty! So cunty! So cute! Y’all. Everything matters. The costume change was a deliberate choice. In-universe, Crowley’s decision to wear his special spy turtleneck for spying in is a signal that he is out doing spy things, even as we watch.

In sum: Beginning in S2E2 and continuing through the end of the season, Aziraphale and Crowley are actively living out the scripts of two parallel, concurrent, and completely different Jane Austen stories. But you and I, dear fellow audience member, we came here for a comedy with a hefty jigger of romance, and that’s what Neil gave us to focus on. And right up until the Final 15, that was the only story we saw.

Meanwhile, Special Agent A. J. Crowley doesn’t have time to mope around at the end of S2E6. He’s kicked down, but he’s not out. He's got a Book of Life to steal, a very serious bone to pick with a certain memory-wiping angel, and his Angel and the world to save. 

“‘Heigh ho,’ said [romantic, optimist, former demon, hero, master spy] Anthony Crowley, and just drove anyway.”

[hells-wasabii]

Hi could you pretty please do velvette x reader who is Carmilla youngest daughter and how her family reacts (plus zestial pls I ship him and Carmilla so I feel like he's a step dad)❤️

A/N: I blacked out and wrote this.... but yeeees LISTEN!! I love Velvette so much, its not even funny and i had a lot of fun with this prompt! I didn't realize how much i wrote for it until it was too late, and by that point, i really couldn't stop. but I hope you enjoy reading it as much as i enjoyed writing it! ps i honestly ship them too

Part 1 | Part 2

Character: Velvette

Type: Headcanons + Drabble (Velvette x reader who's Carmilla's youngest daughter, General with a bit of Angst and Fluff sprinkled in)

For Velvette, she actually entered into the relationship not really knowing who your parents were. You never brought it up and she never really asked. It didn't really matter to her, since, ya know, you're the one she's dating, not your mum and dad, or step-dad from what you've mentioned.

Honestly, she should've seen the similarities. They were there for sure, but let's face it, there are so many demons in hell that it was probably just a coincidence, right?

Carmilla also knew you were seeing someone as well, though she really figured that you would bring this special demon around when you were ready.

Oh, they were both wrong. So very wrong.

They found out simultaneously, of course, as cliche as it was. You were on an evening out with Velvette with no clear destination in mind, just simply enjoying the evening and each other's company when the next thing you knew you were face to face with your mother.

It... didn't go too well.

What had once been a peaceful evening nearly dissolved into a turf war all in an instant. If you hadn't been able to separate the two with a promise to talk to both separately later there was no doubt that everything in a three-block radius would be collateral.

Zestial and your sisters would find out soon thereafter, Carmilla of course telling them when they see her come home looking quite distraught.

As stated before, to Velvette, it really didn't matter. though it did sweeten the deal. It would give her plenty more opportunities for her to provoke the arms dealer, something that she already took a great deal of pleasure in.

Zestial would be skeptical of the relationship at the start but eventually comes to accept it fully. His patience won out this time. He's seen more than enough relationships like this go up in flames and he'd never want that for you. He considered you a daughter after all.

As for your sisters, both of them were simply happy that you were happy. They were more worried about how y'alls mom would react. And you can't tell me that they didn't already know, either.

Carmilla on the other hand... To her, family is everything. I mean, she killed an angel for you and your sisters. She'd do anything for her kids, and that includes keeping someone like that upstart from breaking your heart. She wholeheartedly believed that Velvette was only dating you to get one over on her. It really comes as no surprise when she goes all the way to Vee Tower to confront the youngest overlord herself.

"You need to stay away from my daughter."

The fashionista bit out a curse as a needle pricked her finger. Velvette doesn't usually startle easily, but shit, between her being completely focused on finishing and the fact that her workshop had previously been silent save for any sounds that she had been making herself, she thought that even the most stone-cold bitch would've jumped.

What good was the security for if those nitwits couldn't keep unauthorized demons out of her workshop? The influencer swore that if any blood got on the material for this dress she'd personally kill the guards and whoever-

Oh.

Of all the people she expected to see, Carmilla Carmine, the uptight weapons dealer, and apparent mum of her girlfriend, was not one of them. Or actually, scratch that. She was completely expecting this to happen sooner or later.

"Well, it sucks to suck then, wrinkles, I'm not going nowhere." The fashionista bit back, a smirk settling on her lips that quickly fell when the older woman tried to push her point.

"I know what you're trying to do and it-"

"Obviously you don't." All mischief gone from her tone, Velvette set her work to the side, careful not to crumple the fabric. She rose to her feet and began to cross the room to Carmilla, who in turn stood taller, determined not to let this miscreant make a mockery of her, her family, and most importantly her youngest daughter. "I hate to break it to you, but the only way I'll break it off is if SHE wants to."

Velvette paused, her eyes boring into Carmilla's with a conviction and passion that the arms dealer hadn't felt from the influencer before. When the younger woman spoke again, her voice was softer than before, laced with a sincerity that would leave the mother speechless.

"I love her."

Its this singular interaction that leads to a truce between the two (technically five if you include Zestial and the Vee's) Overlords. They would come to some sort of mutual understanding that if both of them were to be in your life, they'd have to play nice. At least in front of you. At Overlord meetings, well, that's a whole different story.

[monimccoythings]

Cursed Cat! Alastor x Child!Reader (Platonic)

This fucker has consumed my entire mind. Everywhere I go, I see him. I need posters, keychains and a plushie of this entity of evil. Since the Sacabambapsis, I never laughed at anything as hard as I did with this little freak of nature (affectionate). Going to be a short one because I'm still laughing as I'm writing this.

This is not proof read, so sorry for any grammar and/or vocabulary mistakes.

All credit goes to @coma_0423 on twitter for simultaneously ruining and saving my life.

Tw: mentions of death

tags: @anonymousewrites, @nonetheartist, @littledolly2345, @sunnyx07, @ouroborostheunholy, @mo-0-o, @sydneyyyya @lbcreations-blog

Nobody really knows how he ended up as a cat. One day he just woke up like that.

The first time you see him your mind goes entirely blank. And then you laugh. Like, really loud. You don't remember the last time you laughed as hard as you were laughing now. You were rolling on the floor, tears running down your face and holding your tummy in pain.

You can see smoke coming out of his ears and static getting louder. But oh boy was it funny, he looks like he hasn't had a single thought in his entire life. He doesn't find it the slightest bit amusing, but you are truly laughing for the first time in years so he will let it slide.

He follows you around, being the protective cat-father he is. At some point your strides are too much for him to follow up with, so you have to carry him. And given your short stature he is just dangling in your arms with that stupid looking face, which, no matter how much you try to resist, makes you burst into laughing fits.

Won't allow any doors between you two. If you have to leave him out, he will serenade you with the song of his people until you let him in.

Can't stand seeing you spending time with anybody else, specially Lucifer. If he catches you two together in some bonding activity, he will dart across the room and jump him. You had to practically beg Vaggie to not use her spear as a baseball bat whenever he tried to pull that one on the King of Hell.

When you are sitting, he likes to loaf on your lap. Just keeping you pinned to your seat so you'll be forced to pay attention to him and only him. He won't admit it ever, but he absolutely adores being scratched behind the ears.

Satan fobid if you get a hold of a laser pointer. You can see him literally vibrate, eye twitching, trying to resist the siren call of the light. (He eventually gives in)

Any pests? He will take care of them, you can find him casually munching on the carcass of some dead animal in the middle of the hall, talk about being classy. And then he'll have the nerve to call you out for chewing too loud.

Get ready to wake up to him staring at you unblinkingly, with his snout mere centimeters from your nose. The first time he did it, you screamed and fell out of bed. He checked to make sure you were okay, but still found the situation very amusing, given the way his smile widened.

It is impossible to take a pic of Alastor in that form. He is always hypervigilant since he knows the damage it could cause to his reputation as a feared overlord. All pics of him are either blurry or distorted. You don't have the heart to tell him that it just makes them more hilarious.

You don't know how to turn him back, Lucifer seems to not know how to do it (or maybe he does and is having way too much fun with this), but maybe you'll keep him like that for a little while; as a cat, you dad is practically harmless, or at least less dangerous than he was as a demon. Also, it feels nice going to sleep with him curled into a fluffy ball by your head, his static filled purrs lulling you to sleep.

[alwritey-aphrodite]

Cruel Summer

no rules in breakable heaven

Pairing: Jaime Tartt x fem!reader

Warnings: 18+ - smut(f receiving oral, other implied nonsense, cursing

Word Count: 5.5k

Author’s Note: clearly I’ve gotten caught up in the babygirl wave, my lovely wife @andr0medafallen helped me immensely and I love her. Also I’m just a slutty little virgin so I can’t be held accountable for any inaccuracies

Conversations are swirling around you, music is blasting from a building down the street, you’re keenly aware of the blood pumping in your veins, and you need a goddamn break.

You loved spending time with Keeley, you really did, but it’s hot and muggy outside, and this is the fifth party you’d been to in the past week. Tonight, at least, is with the Richmond boys, and not some friend of a friend of Keeley’s where all you do is stand in the corner and drink by yourself. Keeley, ever the social butterfly, is off chatting with Rebecca and Leslie, giving you the opportunity to focus on not losing your mind.

It’s strange, to feel so simultaneously alive and asleep, and you could swear you can feel the air buzzing in your ears. You simultaneously want to go to bed and to stay awake for the rest of the night, it’s like your mind can’t figure out what it needs.

And then Jamie’s walking over to you and the world comes back into focus.

The two of you aren’t very close, connected mostly through your separate friendships with Keeley, but from what you’ve heard from her and from the internet, he seems to be turning over a new leaf. Though, there was a part of you that enjoyed his bad boy attitude, even when he was a bit of a dick.

Maybe you just had a thing for men who were emotionally unavailable.

“Want me to walk you home?” Jamie says after a few seconds of standing next to each other in silence, shocking you out of your silent appraisal of your surroundings.

“Huh?” Clearly, your brain-mouth connection is taking a while to get up to speed.

“You seem kinda out of it, I know you came with Keeley, figured I should ask if you wanted to leave.”

The kindness of his offer is a little shocking in the way it’s so purely sweet, and again, your brain seems a little slow on the draw.

“I’m alright, I can call a car in a bit,” you tell him, not wanting to drag him away from a fun night just because he saw you acting all mopey and uncomfortable.

“Are you sure? I wouldn’t mind getting outta here,” and then it’s clear to you that his offer is simply an excuse for him to leave the party, and while your heart drops a little you can’t say you blame him.

“What the hell,” you respond anyway, finishing your drink before you turn to follow Jamie out of the party, stopping by Keeley to let her know you’re headed home.

The walk back to your place is mostly silent, the air hanging heavy and thick as you try to figure Jamie out. It’s clear that he’s changed from the first time you’d met him, back when he was only Keeley’s douchebag of a boyfriend, shortly before his stint on reality TV. Now, though, he seems different in some way that you can’t quite puzzle out.

“Wanna come up?” You offer, your heart and your brain in a heated argument over how awful and irresponsible of a decision that is.

“Nah, I’m alright,” he sticks his hands in his pockets and you try not to let your heart sink onto the ground with this cool-guy routine of his.

Still, you thank him for taking you home and head up to your apartment, flicking off your shoes and berating yourself for acting the way you did. Even though you’re an adult, and wanting to sleep with someone doesn’t make you a bad person, there’s a layer of guilt that hangs over your simple question, over your desires.

Maybe it’s because he’s Keeley’s ex, and even though she’s moved on and found her perfect match, girl code says you shouldn’t even look at him. Maybe it’s because as far as you know, he’s an awful person who would treat you like nothing. Or maybe it’s because he’s actually worked on himself and you’re going to self-sabotage anything good that could even possibly happen.

The guilt you taste at the back of your mouth doesn’t change the fact that you want him, though, so you throw a longing glance out your window and are surprised to see Jamie still standing on the street below. As quick as you can in your old building, you unlatch the window and push it open, sticking your head out.

“Change your mind?” You ask, a grin spreading on your face when Jamie jumps at the sound of your voice.

“That ok?” He throws back, looking a little bashful and so unfairly adorable that he makes you a little dizzy. You just nod in response, and he seems to get the message because he disappears from view and a few seconds later, there’s a knock at your door.

Briefly, you wonder if he ran up the stairs.

There’s a part of your brain that keeps screaming about how this is a bad idea, that come morning you’re going to regret this, but you do your best to ignore it as you close the door behind Jamie and press your lips to his. His hands find your waist, settling there with a firm grasp, and you hope you never need oxygen again.

It’s addicting, the way he touches you, the way he kisses you, and you do your best to ignore the alarm bells ringing in your mind that you’re never going to be able to move on from this and instead just enjoy yourself. Moving on autopilot, you find yourself at your bedroom door, and feeling lightheaded you pull away from Jamie and rest your forehead on his.

“Can I?” He breathes against your mouth, fingers grasping the bottom hem of your shirt. You nod enthusiastically, your nose brushing against his. Once your shirt is flung somewhere into the depths of your room, Jamie’s hands settle on your bare ribs.

Pushing every worry you have to the back of your brain, you follow Jamie’s lead and, with his help, pull his shirt over his head as he walks you back towards your bed. Obviously, you’d known he was fit, but seeing him so close, so open to your touch is a whole other feeling. You want to trace his entire body, his scars and bruises and tattoos, first with your hands and then with your mouth.

“This is just a one time thing, yeah?” Jamie asks as your hands settle onto his jaw, trying to bring him in for another kiss.

“Yeah, of course,” you respond, being the cool girl you know you’re meant to be even as you fantasize about hearing the stories behind his tattoos and spending mornings together.

It’s practically impossible for you to keep your hands off of him, every layer removed giving you more of his skin to explore. Jamie, though, seems just as greedy as you are, kissing and touching his way across your body. You feel alive, electric in ways you’ve never felt before. It’s as if every moment you spend with Jamie, he takes up more and more space in your brain, until he’s all you can think about.

Jamie, as he bites that sensitive spot underneath your jaw bone with a grin.

Jamie, as he trails kisses down the center of your body, from your sternum to your belly button.

Jamie, as he moves lower and lower, his hands resting on your inner thighs.

Jamie, he’s all you think about until you can’t think of anything, your mind shut off and your body rewired as you feel like you’re exploding from the inside out.

And then everything comes rushing back in, all the sounds and scents and feelings of your apartment, all the thoughts you’d tried to keep away. You still haven’t said anything, focusing on breathing and not floating away.

“You need water or something?” Jamie asks from his spot on the pillow next to you, watching as your breath continues to heave in and out of your chest.

“This is my place, shouldn’t I be asking you that?” You retort once it feels as if your heart won’t escape your chest.

“There aren’t any rules about who gets water.” You watch as a smirk grows across his face, “Besides, you look like you need it more than me.”

Trying not to give in to his teasing, you hide your face in your hands and groan, “Maybe that means you should have been trying harder.” He shrugs, conceding before he slips off your bed and begins the hunt around for his clothes. You wish you could ask him to stay, even just for a few minutes longer, but instead you shrug on a large t-shirt and walk him to the door.

“See you around,” you offer as you lean in the doorway, Jamie making his way to the stairs.

“Yeah, sure, see ya.” And then you're left all alone again, your brain running wild within your skull, so you make your way back to your bed in the hopes that you can fall asleep and pretend you aren’t regretting all of your life decisions.

The next few times you see Jamie, the two of you talk sparingly, sticking mainly to waves across the room or slightly uncomfortable smiles. And it’s a shame, because you’ve found that you actually enjoy talking to Jamie, but now you’re not so certain you can handle yourself around him.

Even though you know Jamie’s not looking for a relationship, it’s hard not to think about what you’d be like together, if you’d even work out, because in your mind, what’s the point of trying if you know you’re going to fail? Why would you enter into a relationship with someone if you know it couldn’t possibly last?

“Hey,” a voice says from behind, shocking you out of your introspection. You jump, ready to scold whoever snuck up on you when you hear Jamie’s laughter, happy and loose.

“Jesus, Jamie, you scared me to death,” you tell him as his laughter dies down, eyes scanning for anyone watching your interactions. You know that no one cares, that people have casual relationships all the time, but you can’t help but feel like you’d be judged for doing the same.

“You wanna get out of here?” He asks, and you can tell from his voice, from his eyes, from the way he’s holding himself, what he’s really asking you.

“I thought that was a one time thing?” You hide your smile by taking a sip of your drink and delighting in the way Jamie’s cheeks redden.

“What I meant was, it’s just a no-strings-attached thing.”

“I’m flattered,” you tell him, already turning to leave and planning your text to Keeley that you hadn’t felt well and called an Uber to leave early.

Instead of an Uber, though, you find yourself pressed up against Jamie’s car, his hands holding your waist and his tongue down your throat. As much as you loved the attention, you pulled away, placing a gentle hand on his cheek when he tried to follow.

“Someone could see,” you whisper against him, trying to keep an ear out for anyone else leaving the small party at Colin’s house. This seems to bring Jamie back to his senses, though, because he unlocks his car and slips inside, but only after he kisses you one last time.

The drive to his place is short, leaving the two of you sitting in his driveway, no sounds but the noises filtering in through the cracked windows. There’s something about this, about him, that just feels like summer, like late sleepless nights and days spent in bed.

Even though neither of you have spoken about it, you can tell that whatever relationship you have with Jamie ends with the summer. You know this is for the best, knowing that once training and games pick up again he’ll barely have time for friends, let alone any other kind of relationship, but you hate the feeling of waiting for the other shoe to drop. It feels like there’s an expiration date, some dark cloud looming over your sunny day, and it’s making it hard to enjoy the time you do have with Jamie.

You’d never say any of this to him, though, because you’re not even sure if you’re really friends, if this relationship you have is anything beyond physical. It’s not as though you sit around pining after Jamie Tartt all day, but you can’t help but feel left out whenever you see him with his actual friends, as if you’re missing something important about him. The two of you have a surface level connection, and you’re fine with that, you really are, it’s just hard not to get caught up in your own head.

Jamie, though, is doing his best to get rid of seemingly every thought you have, leaning over the center console to kiss you again. It’s cramped and a little awkward and you don’t have any room to move around, but you can’t stop. Eventually, the two of you break apart for long enough to stumble into Jamie’s house and then you’re being pushed backwards to his bedroom.

The realization hits you that this is the first time you’ve ever been to Jamie’s house, and you can’t help but look around his bedroom, taking in all of his choices in decorations and knick-knacks.

“That’s a pretty color,” you say absentmindedly, starting off into his room.

“I’m sorry, am I boring you?” Jamie asks, pulling back from where he’d been sucking a mark onto your chest.

You can’t help but laugh, loud and unrestrained, as you run your fingers through the strands of hair hanging in Jamie’s eyes, giving them a gentle tug. Looking down after you catch your breath, you notice Jamie smiling at you and suddenly you feel too exposed, too open and you want to turn and run and never see him again but instead you use your light grip on his hair to pull him up for a kiss.

There’s a strange feeling deep in your stomach, one that you plan to ignore for as long as you can because it’s distracting you from Jamie. At first, you’d just thought it was the want filling your body, the urge to pull him impossibly close and feel him impossibly deep, but the feeling’s still there hours later as you lie boneless and sleepy.

Jamie’s off getting you some water, even though you never asked for any, and when he returns you’re dozing on his pillow, resisting the urge to snuggle under his sheets.

“You can just stay here tonight, if you want,” Jamie offers, sitting on the other side of the bed and staring off into space before quietly adding, “I wouldn’t mind.”

“Your bed is pretty comfortable,” you reply, thankful that you don’t have to get up and go searching for your clothes.

Instead, Jamie hands you the glass of water and a t-shirt, one that you gratefully slip on before getting under the covers. You fall asleep almost immediately, exhaustion spread throughout your entire body and mind, so you never know that Jamie lies awake almost the whole night, staring at the ceiling and trying not to wake you up or think about how perfect you look while asleep next to him.

When you do wake up, it’s with the sun streaming through the windows and Jamie’s arm slung over your waist. The two of you are impossibly close, both sharing the same pillow despite the size of his bed. It pains you to notice that he’s incredibly adorable when he’s sleeping. Part of you wants to kiss him all over and wake him, but the other just wants to let him sleep forever, watching as he breathes.

Luckily, you don’t need to make that choice, as Jamie’s eyes flutter open and you can see when he realizes just how close the two of you are and he tries to play it smooth but he scoots back to the side he fell asleep on.

“Did you sleep alright?” He asks, and you’re more focused on the scratchy way his voice sounds than the actual question. You just nod, hoping that was the right answer and delighting when he smiles, all soft and sweet and just for you.

You need to leave, get out while you still can before you end up spending the whole day with Jamie, because you know if you stay for a second longer you’re never going to want to leave him. Most of your time together was spent sleeping, but it's already almost impossibly hard to leave him. While you still have your resolve, you slip out of his insanely comfortable bed and go hunting for your clothes. It kills you a little inside when Jamie doesn’t stop you.

“Want me to drive you?” He asks, sitting up and moving to get out of bed and you need to stop yourself from staring at his toned chest, at the shorts low on his hips.

“No, I can just walk, it’s a nice day,” you lie, having no idea what the weather was like but hoping that summer wouldn’t let you down. Jamie nods, settles back into bed, and you could swear your heart physically aches because none of this should be happening.

You shouldn’t even be here in the first place, but here you are not wanting to leave. You shouldn’t be staring at him, with his mussed hair and his tattoos on full display. You shouldn’t have any feelings for him besides physical attraction and the basic feelings of friendship, but you’re starting to worry about that feeling in your belly that just grows and grows every second you spend with Jamie.

“See you around,” you tell him, leaving as quickly as you can before you convince yourself to stay any longer. You wander around London, all turned around and trying to find your flat without thinking of Jamie, while Jamie sits at home and tries not to think of you.

The rest of your day is spent doing meaningless activities, chores and work you’d been putting off for weeks. You wash your sheets and clean your fridge and respond to emails, trying your hardest to keep your mind off Jamie. It’s impossible, and the second you find yourself distracted, your mind wanders right back to him. What you really need is to leave your house, find someplace with blasting music and bodies pressed impossibly close, somewhere that you’ll have no space to think of anything, let alone Jamie.

Lucky for you, Keeley stays busy, always having one event or another she needs to go to and she always lets you tag along. Tonight your mission is to stop thinking of Jamie, even if that doesn’t mean going home with someone else. Just for a few hours, you don’t need him consuming your every thought.

Unfortunately for you, Jamie is always welcome with Keeley and has the same exact plan as you.

The air inside the bar is stifling, as if there’s no air conditioning and no windows, just the thick summer heat. You notice Jamie almost immediately, though it would be impossible not to with his highlights and his beaming smile, like your own personal sun. As much as you try to fight it, you can’t help but wonder if he noticed you at all, if he thinks of you at all when you’re not together.

You’re two drinks deep and you can’t help but think about Jamie, about what he thinks of you. Are you really just someone to fuck, someone who’s attractive enough for him to sleep with you whenever he feels the urge?

You’re three drinks deep and you can’t help but wonder if you could ever be anything more to him, if he’d ever want that. It’s common knowledge that Jamie’s still a little hooked on Keeley, and who could blame him, but are you really just a distraction?

You’re four drinks deep and you can’t stop crying, the tears flowing like rivers as Keeley and Rebecca try their best to comfort you, to calm you down. Eventually, Rebecca calls you a car and Keeley waits with you, ready to leave and make sure you get home safely.

“I’m fine, I’m fine, I promise,” you say through your sobs as you sit in the backseat on your way to your apartment, Keeley rubbing up and down your arms in a soothing manner.

“This isn’t about Jamie, is it?” She asks in that kind, understanding voice of hers and it only makes you cry harder.

“I think I love him and it fucking sucks.” Keeley’s hand moves to smooth over your hair as you lean against her, all the fight draining out of your body.

“Babe, just tell him.” You can’t help but shoot her a glare, one that she brushes off with a laugh, “What’s the worst that could happen? He won’t sleep with you anymore?”

Your mouth drops open, shocked to your core that Keeley knew about what the two of you had been doing and your heart breaks a little more because you feel like you’ve just betrayed one of your best friends. Keeley, though, gives you a supportive little squeeze, one that tells you that she isn’t mad at all.

That was one of your favorite things about Keeley, how supportive she is of all of the people she loves, no matter the situation. She’s wise beyond her years and is the kind of person who will go out and get whatever she wants through her own hard work and determination. Keeley is absolutely someone you need on your side, and it hits you just how thankful you are for her and all she does for you.

Here you are, sobbing over a boy, and Keeley does nothing but support you and try to help you calm down. She doesn’t look at you like you’re over-dramatic or crazy and instead is doing her best to fix whatever was making you feel this way.

“Clearly, this whole situation-ship is hurting you, and if he doesn’t want the same things as you, maybe it’s time to let it end,” she finishes with another loving squeeze, just as the car pulls up outside of your building.

The two of you slide out of the car, Keeley offering you her hand as she helps you up to your apartment and you’re left reeling by what she’s said. You didn’t even know you wanted something more until it hit you like a ton of bricks tonight, Jamie consuming your thoughts in all the wrong ways. You know Keeley’s right, that whatever you have going on is only going to hurt you in the long run, so you resolve to tell him everything the next time you see him.

Keeley’s wise words from the car and the glass of water she gave you before she left after confirming no less than ten times that you were okay have you sobering up rather quickly. You’re left feeling embarrassed and exhausted to the bone, wanting nothing more than to lay down in your bed and stay there for the next hundred years, but suddenly there’s a knock at your door and Jamie’s standing outside.

“Keeley let me in, hope that’s ok,” he tells you, seeming slightly uncomfortable and you briefly wonder if it’s because of your puffy eyes and slightly disheveled appearance, embarrassment coursing hot through your blood. “Just wanted to make sure you were alright.”

Jamie always keeps you on your toes, and though you know this isn’t a big deal, it warms your heart all the same. Jamie Tartt, drama queen footballer and prick reality star, is at your front door to see if you’re ok because you left a bar crying. You’d promised yourself that the next time you saw Jamie, you’d sit him down and talk about your feelings, vowing that you wouldn’t hide them anymore.

But here Jamie is, being all sweet and concerned, and that plan goes out the window. There’s just something about him that makes all the sense leave your body, so instead of having a conversation about your feelings you pull him down by his shoulders and kiss him.

It’s messy and desperate, and even though you’ve sobered up since leaving the bar, your head is spinning and your thoughts are starting to become consumed with Jamie. There’s a weight behind it this time, one that you’re sure the both of you are aware of, because Jamie’s hands are gripping your waist with a bruising force and you barely even pull away from him to breathe.

Both of you know something is going to change.

As you make your way to your bedroom, clothing is thrown down the hallway, a sock here and a shoe there, until you almost trip trying to remove your pants. Luckily for you, though, after what seemed like a miles long walk, you finally reached your bedroom door.

Jamie pushes you gently inside, breaking the kiss but staying close enough to breathe the same air, and he keeps pushing you back until the back of your knees hit the bed and you fall onto it with a sound of surprise. Jamie just smiles, but it’s soft in a way that makes your insides melt and not the cocky smile he has whenever he scores a goal.

You scramble to sit up, to take your shirt off, but your brain shuts off when you see Jamie get on his knees in front of you. More gently than you ever could have imagined, he tugs on the hem of your pants, bringing them down your hips until you need to push off of the bed to get them down the rest of the way. He continues to pull until they slip free of your feet, and by the time he’s standing again you’re throwing yourself upward to kiss him.

There’s just something about him that makes you want to be near him all the time, like a moth to the flame. It doesn’t feel self destructive though, and that’s what scares you. It scares you that you might be hurting yourself without knowing but it scares you more that this might not hurt you at all.

It’s always a little shocking to you just how gentle Jamie is, the soft way he cradles your jaw when he kisses you and the way he runs his hands up and down your back when he can tell everything is starting to get overwhelming. Of course, he can be plenty rough and you have the bite marks on your thighs and the hickeys on your chest to prove it, but it seems like it’s in his nature to be soft with you.

“You sure you wanna do this?” He asks, fingers playing gentling with the hem of your shirt.

“100%,” you reply, and give him a quick kiss to reaffirm your statement. Now, he wastes no time in pulling off your shirt and starting to remove his own clothes. It makes you pause, standing there by the foot of your bed in the process of removing your bra, because suddenly he’s shirtless and it never gets any less surprising despite the many times you’ve been in this situation.

It’s not like your being subtle in your ogling, and Jamie just smirks when he sees you staring. He pushes you back onto the bed, softer this time, and you scoot yourself backwards until your head is resting on the pillows. Jamie joins you, pushing your legs open wider so there's room for him to lay in between them.

Then, you’re almost certain you’ve died and gone to heaven because he’s slipping his fingers into the waistband of your panties and tugging them over your hips and down your thighs. You’re absolutely no help, lying there pliant for him to maneuver however he sees fit because you’re fully convinced your brain has stopped working.

It’s a little startling, how well Jamie knows your body. He always knows the right pressure and movement and location to make you see stars, make your eyes squeeze shut and your mouth drop open. You’d think that he’d be all bark and no bite, but it’s so clear to you now that he has the skills to back up his attitude.

You have the bite marks to prove it.

Your fingers are itching for something to grab onto, something more substantial than grasping at your bedsheets, so you gently twist Jamie’s hair around your fingers, just enough to ground you, to keep you anchored to your body when you feel like you’re seconds from floating away.

It feels too good, too overwhelming, you’re unable to control any of the sounds that come out of your mouth. Jamie’s hands are gripping, digging into the flesh of your thighs and it stings where his fingernails dig in but it’s so perfect you can’t help the way you whine.

The connection between your brain and your mouth must be severed because you keep babbling away about how good, how perfect everything feels. You’re not thinking at all, only able to focus on the feelings building deep in your belly until Jamie licks at your clit with the perfect amount of pressure and you just fucking lose it. Your mouth drops open and you’re completely unaware of the sounds that come pouring out of your mouth until, “I fucking love you.”

It’s like you’ve been doused in a bucket of ice water and Jamie’s pulling away and you’re fucking terrified and the pleasure that’s been building inside your body is completely replaced with dread. After you feel Jamie pulling back, you turn your gaze from the ceiling down to between your legs where Jamie still lies.

He just grins, looking like sin himself with your slick making his mouth all shiny and glossy. And then he gets right back to work, nipping at your inner thigh before doubling down his attention, working twice as hard and you don’t even remember what you’ve said because you’re thrown headfirst back into the intensity of Jamie’s full skill and attention.

It’s only seconds later when you’re almost certain that you’ve died, feeling like an exploding star as your back arches off the bed and you dig your fingers harder into Jamie’s hair and your mouth falls open again. When you regain your sense of existence, your body feels tingly all over as if the remnants of your orgasm are still coursing through your veins.

Breathing hard, you look down to see Jamie resting his head on one of your thighs, just waiting for you to come down from your high. He places a kiss over one of the marks he made on your inner thigh before he crawls up the bed to plant a soft kiss on your lips.

He disappears after that, and you’re a little worried that he’s left you like this before he comes back a few minutes later, with a glass of water and a plate of snacks. The thought of him trifling through your cupboard makes your heart stutter a little and you’re so overwhelmed with feelings that you can only manage to give him a small smile in thanks.

The two of you sit quietly side by side on your bed, eating the snacks Jamie had brought. He checks in on you again and again, making sure you’re totally comfortable. And then, he clears his throat and shifts around, looking uncomfortable and you can feel your heart rising into your throat, dread gripping at your stomach.

“Are we gonna talk about what you said?” He asks, tracing shapes on the bare skin of your knee as he talks and looks anywhere but your face.

“I think I meant it,” you tell him, feeling as if your whole world is crashing down around you. There are other important things in your life, work and friends and family, but there’s something about Jamie that even after the limited time you’ve had together, the thought of losing him makes you sick to your stomach.

“Good, that’s good to know.” He goes quiet for a moment but his fingers never still in their drawing, “I think so too.”

“Good,” you tell him with a smile, one that he returns and it makes you want to cry because he’s so gorgeous and wonderful and you won’t be losing him after all, there’s a hope for you, a future, and that’s all you need.

You know nothing is certain and there are plenty of things that could go wrong, but you try to bask in the afterglow of what’s been confessed the same way you’d lay in the sunshine. You feel warm and happy and you’re determined to hang onto those feelings, to enjoy the time you spend with Jamie instead of worrying that everything will come crashing down.

There’s just something about him, something that makes your worrying come to a pause whenever you’re with him. He brings you an unexpected sort of peace, one that you vow to enjoy now that you’re not worrying when it will disappear, when he’ll disappear. For once, that feeling in your chest isn’t one of anxiety but one that you’re convinced is love.

You love Jamie Tartt, and that thought isn’t as scary as it once was.

Tags: @andr0medafallen @pazvizslasprincess @scaramou @parcelofbread @lightninginab0ttle @curlypeter @maggiecc @percysaidnever

[highdio]

Pleeease, write your thoughts about the musical lol. I really like your Dio meta posts <3

Just a disclaimer: this is really opinionated but I don't like to drag media for its own sake. There were lots of things to like in the Phantom Blood musical, just ... Dio wasn't one of them. Also, Mamoru Miyano threw himself into the performance he was asked for, so it's hardly his fault. It's just always amazing to me that people feel the need to rewrite Dio into someone else when the way Araki's written him is already perfect, complete and a lot of fun.

So, where to start? Basically, the Phantom Blood musical re-writes Dio, giving him a different personality and different motivations through OOC stage direction along with a bunch of original dialog and scenes. What results is a version of Phantom Blood where "Dio" is just a normal guy without charisma who had a bad childhood and spends most of the story being miserable. Dio as he's written in canon has an uncommon charisma and appeal that's allowed him to remain relevant as one of those 'all-time great' villains. Scene after scene in the musical prove that its creative team either didn't read the manga or just really didn't like Dio.

fwiw Araki wrote Dio as thoroughly fleshed-out, with consistent traits and behaviors and consistent motivations behind his actions. He also left a paper trail of interviews and author's commentaries that develop Dio even more fully beyond the manga. So there's really no excuse for media that treat Dio as some sort of empty vessel waiting to be filled by narrative cliches we already know and expect.

It's annoying too, because, along with its OOC content, the musical is peppered with occasional manga-consistent moments. It's like the musical is camouflaging its Very Bad Take on Dio by having Mamoru Miyano periodically re-enact the canon character's most famous panels. The musical wants simultaneously to take credit for bringing Araki's vision to life on the stage, while at the same time completely undermining its most important element: a capital V "Villain" who, according to Araki, "accepts and embraces his evil nature, and follows his dark path without hesitation." This is the biggest change the musical makes to Dio: musical!Dio has none of the confidence that allows canon Dio him to move so decisively and destructively through the narrative.

Musical Dio is introduced by a scene where he's bullied on his way home, before breaking into a song about how terrible his life is, where "everything is always taken from [him]" ("it's hell …I feel nauseated …[I'm] under a cloudy sky.") The song is alternately tearful and hopeful. "I'm going crazy from being robbed!" he laments and then pollyannaishly muses, "hey, Joestar, can you turn my [cloudy] skies to blue?"

If Dio being introduced as a sad sap and self-described perennial loser hoping for any break sounds attitudinally unfamiliar that's because it is. Araki went in the opposite direction: he started his story by subverting the cliche - wide-eyed poor boy victimized by circumstance leaves his sorrow-filled life hoping for a new start - and instead gave us a kid with surprising, even sinister agency. Dio is not just given a hero's upward narrative arc (something Araki crafted very deliberately), he's introduced improbably in his first scene from a position of control. This fact is important because in the manga it's a position he won't lose until four chapters and nearly 100 pages in, when Jonathan finally fights back. From the time young Dio is introduced - reading a book with his back turned to his bed-ridden father who he's secretly poisoning -

- to the time he's systematically broken down his adoptive brother's spirit by alienating him from his friends, taking Erina's first kiss, and of course kicking his dog, Dio is shown as being in control and on top (Erina drinking the muddy water is the only exception). It's OOC to imagine 12-year old Dio feeling sorry for himself because at the time he's introduced, he's already made a habit of getting what he wants. By the time he sets off for the Joestars after killing his first dad, he's already developed full confidence in his abilities and the inevitability of his rise to riches (something Araki has him explicitly state and then underscores with a panel illustration of a steam train signaling the rise of Modernity).

But the writers and director of the musical don't find this characterization interesting enough or something. So they lose the canon entirely and in its place they invent a version of Dio who's despondent. And they didn't get Araki's steam train memo so they miss the Modernity theme (even though Araki's tied Dio so tightly conceptually to the idea of the Modern that he has him "use a 20th century boxing technique in the 19th century"); instead they double down on class difference being determinative. It never occurs to them that Dio is written specifically by Araki with the freedom to move outside of his social status because he sees it as artificial (the "evil elite" monologue later reveals Dio thinks of the whole social contract thing is arbitrary and voluntary).

Throughout the musical, Dio (although it's not fair to Mamoru Miyano since he isn't responsible for writing this mess, let's use mamoDio from now on because it's easier) seems to idolize the Joestars for what he calls their "beautiful blood." Not "beautiful" because usable calories for the vampire he will become but "beautiful" because noble. The Joestars' noble status and the honor that's apparently behind that status become the shining "star" toward which mud-bound mamoDio flailingly, failingly reaches. I don't need to tell you that in canon Dio doesn't have respect for nobility.

"Mud and stars" is heavy-handedly introduced as a dominant theme of the musical. According to the play, Jonathan, noble and bright, looks to the stars while human Dio, pathetic, conflicted and even confused, can only see life as a mud-soaked prison.

Now, the mud and stars thing was only used in Part 1 as a single text element on a Volume 1 illustration but, in spite of its marginality, it's becomes a liturgical text for some fans looking for an explanation for Dio's actions beyond what Araki gives them in the actual narrative. To this sort of fan, a guy who embraces his inner talent for evil and never had the misfortune of developing a moral compass isn't the right type of villain because he's unapologetic. If the villain doesn't have excuses how can you apologize for him? So they need Dio and by extension Araki to give them a "good enough" reason to accept Dio's ever-escalating atrocities. If the reasons Dio has for doing the things he does lie outside of what's considered good or acceptable, they are simply rejected and new reasons are invented in the hope of making Dio much less objectionable.

Now, like I said earlier, Araki's repeatedly told us in his writings that Dio has an upward narrative trajectory, not a downward, "mud"-bound one. The mud and stars duality fails to describe the narrative journey of the two main characters: both look upward to transcend their circumstances and travel along a shonen manga hero's rising path. (In fact, it's Jonathan who needs a good push to realize his potential, something Dio happily provides). And it's Jonathan, not Dio, who Araki first gives a downward arc, being handed defeat after defeat for those first four chapters before gaining his footing and progressively rising to Dio's challenges. "Mud and stars" isn't just a bad choice of metaphor, it's a misleading one.

Back to the musical, mamoDio is the exact opposite. An air of sadness and insecurity haunts his performance. An original scene where George presents the mud and stars dilemma as a lesson highlights Dio's lack of confidence and the depression that lurks behind it, as Dio bemoans how people doomed to "struggle and die" cannot possibly summon the hope it takes to look up to the stars (he's talking of course about himself).

Likewise, and here's where mamoDio's failure as a character really comes into full relief, seven years after this, when Dio's machinations are revealed and he's about to be arrested, before he uses the stone mask, mamoDio drops to the floor and spends the better part of a musical number in tears, bemoaning his sorry life ("I'm trapped in a prison covered in mud… no matter how hard I struggle I'm crushed…") and his lack of noble blood.

(btw this is after the manga scene where Dio fake cries; here, mamoDio is genuinely distraught).

Contrast this to the actual scene in the manga. His expressions in these panels are memorable because of how assured Araki draws him. Dio's entire world - his poisoning scheme, his grab at what one can assume would have been the entirety of the Joestar estate - is about to end but instead of despairing, he launches into a philosophical soliloquy. His body language is haughty: this isn't mamoDio crawling on the ground and decrying his upbringing and lack of noble blood, instead this is a man who apparently, almost irrationally, perceives himself as noble. When he uses the mask, Dio is smiling widely. Metaphorically speaking, he's looking at the stars.

When mamoDio uses the mask? He's on his knees. He's in tears. On one night he interjects, "Mother…" In short, he's conflicted.

One of these depicts Dio. The other does not.

Now obviously the writers and director of the musical must think making these seismic changes adds something to Dio's character. But (and I feel like this is a theme whenever I write these things) I'd argue it only makes him more basic. It makes him predictable and formulaic, someone we've seen in countless other stories.

(Oh! and did I mention mamoDio repeatedly calls himself "useless"!! Because he does this.)

Now, because mamoDio has no confidence and as a human acts out of desperation, when he becomes a vampire he still isn't Dio. Mamoru tries to make his vampire Dio evil and scary by expending a lot of energy, running about the stage and sticking out his tongue ad nauseum. When you look at how Araki has Dio move physically throughout the manga, it's the opposite of kinetic. Dio is a point of fixity who's charisma draws others toward him (ask me for more on this if you want because there's enough here for its own post).

Now for the worst of the worst: at the very end of the production, after the manga ending that features Jonathan's death and Dio's (presumed) defeat as a head imprisoned in Jonathan's arms, the musical takes an original twist in which, following a finale number featuring most of the cast, mamoDio is lead offstage by Jonathan. You read that right. mamoDio is hunched over, resigned, and Jonathan seems to take on a paternal role. Although the lyrics would have you believe this has something to do with "two fates becoming one," it's clear from the stage direction that any embers of Dio's ambition are being tamed and extinguished as Jonathan takes Dio's grasping hand, subdues him, and leads him docilely into the darkness.

It turns out Dio's vampire arc was just a phase, a hurt and lonely child lashing out and making a mess for attention.

His body language here is obscenely out of character. Consider the following because, as I said in the opening, in spite of what all these re-writes of Dio would have you believe, Araki crafted Dio with specificity and consistency: Araki only draws Dio (with very few exceptions) 1) standing tall, looking down at you; 2) back turned, looking back and down at you; or simply 3) back turned, (performatively?) ignoring you. Dio is never on the ground except when he's knocked down (think, young Jonathan finally fighting back in the Joestar home or, much later, Jotaro stopping time and landing those punches). By constrast, mamoDio has spent an incessant amount of time of the ground, crouching, kneeling,, bowing, hunched down. Who is this guy? So his hunched-down exit in the final moments of the production, literally being led by Jonathan (controlled??), is so amazingly stupid that if I didn't have a gif as proof, you might think I'm just making this stuff up:

There's plenty more to unpack that I won't address here: ghost Dario. The lack of grave-spitting. The complete absence of true joy or leisure expressed by Dio especially during his vampire era: no woman eating her baby, no owlcats, no Poco's sister. No chaise lounge. No roses(!). No fun. Not for Dio. That would be too manga-consistent. That might mean Araki wasn't giving us the appropriate message that bad guys are actually just sad guys.

tl;dr Dio isn't in the Phantom Blood musical. He's replaced by a normal guy who's motivated by a lack of self-esteem and despair that he wasn't born into an upper-class household, or something. He's boring. The result? There can be no Part 3 in this musical's world (and presumably no Parts 4, 5 or 6, no Giorno, no Jolyne, … you get the picture) because mamoDio just gives up. It's a nicely produced little tale about Jonathan Joestar and some random other guy who at some point gets a funny green coat.

[rubra-wav]

Main Hazbin Hotel cast x fallen angel reader who wants to cut off their wings (drabble - hc format)

Req by: @lightmoon99

A/N: I fucking love fallen angel angst type content, it's my bread and butter. I hope I was able to do it some justice <3

Cw: SFW, decapitation, a bit angsty, platonic, cannibalism, Gn!Reader

-

When you had fallen from heaven to hell, your hate for your more angelic attributes that had already existed before the fall only deepened.

You hated the sensation of the weight that signified your wings were, in fact, still there even when your halo had been taken when the exterminators had left you to die here.

You hated that you had to feel the pain of your attempt to hide them under cloaks and baggy clothes with ropes pinning them to your back.

When you came to the hazbin hotel, you were open from the get-go with Charlie, hoping she would sympathise being the daughter of a fallen angel herself.

It of course didn't take long for others in the hotel to find out you are a fallen angel, however it did take longer for them to find out simultaneously during a group exercise that you wanted to discard any and all heavenly reminders of what you used to be.

Charlie

- She's horrified when you bring out your wings in a flourish and say such a thing while gesturing to them.

- It's not too surprising considering you hide them practically all the time, but it still fills her with a sense of grief for you to think such a thing.

- She immediately tries to shut it down, telling you that you shouldn't hurt yourself and should be proud you have such gorgeous wings!

- Would apologise and go silent when she realises how badly she's messed up in saying that seeing your expression.

- Only continues speaking to dissuade some of the poor ideas coming from others in the group.

- She'd probably try to think up ways to make it up to you after the meeting.

- Probably tries to suggest doing some trauma work type things? She doesn't know a lot about that kind of thing, but she could get some books on it to try!

- Actually ends up learning a bit about trauma treatment stuff outside of the awful pop culture live love laugh stuff she's on about most of the time.

- Ends up helping out with you coping a bit better in the end due to that.

- Keeps trying but fails to do anything to dissuade certain members of the hotel to stop encouraging you to remove your wings, however.

Vaggie

- She's stung as a wingless fallen angel herself that you'd want to do such a thing.

- But she also understands all the same why you'd feel that way.

- Would respond in a way that's understanding, but ultimately awkward and clunky due to how she is normally.

- Made worse due to her own angst about it.

- Afterwards, she would probably try to have a private chat to you about it since it's clear you're struggling and logically she's gonna probably be the one most understanding.

- May even reveal she's a fallen too if you're close to try and give you a feeling of comradery in a pretty bleak way.

- She's got basically the opposite of what you've got, but it'd still be bonding and mutual support.

- Would be emotionally supporting you and encouraging you to try work through the trauma rather than harming / cutting off your wings.

- What the hotel doesn't have is a doctor, so you'd be screwed if you decapitated a part of yourself.

- She doesn't want you to feel inclined towards taking up certain members' offers either.

- She knows that the others are not going to stop with their bullshit so she actively tries to educate you on what they are up to really and all the risks that come with.

Angel

- When he first hears it, he cringes very noticeably despite his usual persona.

- The definition of 'that's rough, buddy.'

- He feels terrible for you that you'd feel such a way, but he also has absolutely no clue how to express it at all.

- Probably would be the type to try distract you from the bad by having fun, so he'd be trying to get you to hang out with him and either go to parties or go on various shenanigans.

- He's not good at emotionally comforting people at all, so he's awkward as hell and at loss when it gets particularly bad for you.

- But he's always there to try do activities with you to take your mind off of it.

- And he also needs it as well honestly. It's nice having someone who's also feeling shitty so you can mutually drag each other out to do things rather than wallowing in bs and feeling worse and worse.

- Probably calls out Cherry as well because she's always good at cheering him up.

- He knows quite a few people from a lot of different walks of life, so chances are he could get you in contact with someone who'd be able to perform removal surgery if after everything you still want it done.

- No strings attached as well with his assistance, unlike Alastor.

Husk

- He'd not really react at all initially outside of maybe raising his brows at your comment.

- Obviously, it's bad, but he just prefers to play his cards to his chest with how he truly feels about things.

- Would be actively being bitter as fuck at most of the other residents suggesting stupid shit though in a way that's honestly protective.

- Basically shuts all of them down one by one, calling them out on their crap.

- When Alastor points out how he 'seems to care awfully much about you' Husk scoffs and tells him to fuck off.

- Shuts up for the rest of the group part of the interaction.

- Afterwards though, he'd have a private conversation with you and actually gives you some good advice.

- Tells you that you should do whatever the hell you want but also to not let the opinions and thoughts others dictate that.

- If you want to do that, it's really your decision, and nobody has any right to try to tell you what you should do with your own wings.

- Doesn't really share his own opinion on what he thinks you should do because it's asinine and would be hypocritical to what he's encouraging.

- Just encourages you to think for yourself rather than just going with what the idiots and asshole are trying to fill your head with.

- And if you do decide to get them removed? Make sure to be safe with it.

Sir Pentious

- He very obviously feels bad for you. He shows it all over his face but also has no clue how to express it properly.

- So, naturally, he automatically goes to propose a practical solution to the problem.

- "I can do that for you, my fallen friend! I have experience with my creations, so I should be able to attemp-"

- He doesn't even get to finish his sentence before he's very rudely interrupted by Husk and told to fuck off with that shitty idea.

- Visibly deflates when he's told he's not a doctor and is just some inventor wannabe.

- He'd shut up for the rest of the meeting, moping and glaring between Husk and Alastor.

- But afterwards, he's approaching you saying he would try his best to do it if you asked.

- Would go and start researching how to do the procedure and starts meticulously learning about how to properly do it.

- Whether you decide on him doing the procedure or not, he wants to be ready just in case.

- He has no idea how to emotionally provide for you properly in this situation, so he's doing what he does best and is working practically. He's all open to any way he can be of assistance, however.

- Absolutely asked his eggs for advice on what to do and got nowhere.

Alastor

- Person number 2 who receives a resounding 'shut up' message via Husk.

- His eyes absolutely light up when you say you want to remove your wings, grin widening as he takes on a sweet tone that does not match his intentions at all.

- "Well, that could certainly be arranged, darling."

- Asks if you'd like to make a deal for your wings in exchange for something you want from him. He'd take you to someone skilled enough to do the operation.

- He wants a meal that is heavenly in a completely different kinda way.

- It's not every day you get to eat angel wings. And it wasn't like you wanted them, and he sure did.

- Even if you're friends, he wants to win the rare delicacy competition he has going with Rosie. If he bought some skilfully cooked dish with your wings in it, he'd win without a shadow of a doubt.

- It's not like he'd be lying about getting them removed, either. Just his intentions for volunteering to do so.

- Shuts up about it after the first mention of it and being called out by Husk, going on about something different after.

- But he's already plotting out what he can do to get what he wants.

- Would actively be sabotaging Pentious the whole time he's studying how to do the procedure as well. Those wings are going to be his, and he will not be the second choice when you (in his mind at least) inevitably come to him for assistance.

- He won't actively make your misery worse, but he will act as a passive influence urging you towards his goal.

Niffty

- Would also say she can remove your wings.

- But, would then proceed to try and do just that without even allowing you to process what she's said.

- Gets caught thrashing around like a madwoman in mid-air by Vaggie who saw it coming from a mile away.

- Wants to get your wings taxidermied and framed because she thinks they would make an excellent decorative piece in the hotel.

- Would then need to be kept in sight at all times away from you as she would be repeatedly trying again and again to destroy the cloaks you wear to hide your wings to get to them.

- Already had been collecting your feathers for several months and had already sorted those into a freaky art piece.

- So she's more than ready for a more substantial specimen.

- Was the one to actually expose you as being an angel in the first place - unintentionally by mentioning the giant feathers she'd found in your trash.

- Would probably be placated if you gave her more feather tbh. She thinks your wings and feathers are just wonderful.

[sena-shi]

Protector of Teyvat (a troll hell-bent on reviving everyone just for fun) P—2

Isekai’d reader who is hell-bent on reviving everyone using your cheat code as the protector of Teyvat. With great power comes great benefits! Teyvat population stonks

Note: asmoday is the unknown god, reader also grants gnosis and visions, isekai, slight sagau, op reader

Summary: You are just a regular human being living your best life on Earth, collecting husbandos and waifus in Genshin Impact when all of a sudden you were isekai'd to Teyvat, but not as a traveler, a creator, or an NPC. You were a very close friend of both Celestia and the Unknown God, who is known as the Sustainer of Heavenly Principles. You too, hold a very important position of the highest order because unbeknownst to the general populace, you are the Protector of Teyvat from the outside forces. And so imagine the Archon's faces when their dead friend suddenly came back to life just so they can accompany you together with Aether and Paimon on a journey to spit on the Celestia's face

Timeline in Teyvat when you got transmigrated: Before any wars happened. Zhongli is probably sucking on a dragon pacifier or something if that even exists.

Warning: curse words, slight ooc, lore flying over the ocean and going for a swim, author removed the lore from the irminsul so act like you know nothing of it, i'm putting the lore in the cheese grater

“T-The hilichurls… turned into humans?” Because of what she had just seen, Amber's eyes were completely expanded, and you could almost get the impression that she was on the verge of exploding any moment now.

You find yourself thinking that it is understandable. After all, raising someone from the dead isn't something that happens very often; in fact, not even archons are able to do it.

You chuckled and smiled sarcastically at the three people who were staring at you in complete and utter disbelief.

You stood there with your arms crossed as you looked over at the hilichurls that had been transformed into humans with confused expressions adorning their faces.

"Oh wow…" You said while putting on a show of ignorance regarding what had just taken place. "What a miracle it is that they have been brought back to life!" You delighted everyone by clapping your hands.

"P-Paimon was very certain that it was Y/N who brought them back to life just now..." Paimon mumbled something to herself as she scratched the top of her head.

“Hm? That is ridiculous. I just smacked them across the face with a fried egg, see?" You answered as you moved closer to the hilichurls that had been converted into humans by slapping their faces with a fried egg that suddenly appeared out of nowhere.

And as a matter of fact, a noticeable improvement could be seen in the appearance of the other people's skin after the fried egg had been applied to their faces. They let out a sigh of disgust as they observed the yolk splattered all over their faces.

"Paimon had no idea that a fried egg was capable of doing that..."

Aether shook his head at the innocence of his traveling buddy. It was perfectly clear that you were making light of the situation. At least now he is aware that you were telling the truth when you stated that you allowed the Anemo Archon to have a seat in the seven.

“This—” Amber opened her mouth to speak while simultaneously covered her mouth with her palm in shock. "This is really incredible news! You are able to give them a second chance at life!"

"What caused them to become humans?" Aether questioned while frowning in confusion.

You gave a light hum as you brought your hand up to pet him on the top of his head. "Perhaps your sister knows the answer you're looking for.”

“Our benefactor…” As soon as you turned your attention to them, they started talking, and Aether made a low rumbling sound.

You gave them a sideways glance while turning your head to the side since you thought it was likely that they were bewildered by the situation. Their final recollections would be of fighting for their homeland just before the curse took full impact.

They all got on one knee in front of you, which caused you to raise an eyebrow.

"Ah-ah, there's no need to be grateful to me. You probably aren't aware of this, but I'm a very awful person.” You said with a playful tone.

The people around you gave you a disapproving shake of the head as they expressed their dissatisfaction. Who in the devil would even believe a statement like that after what you have done?

“We were in such a painful dream— we are gratefu—"

You made a huffing sound while crossing your arms. "I find it extremely unpleasant when people thank me or express gratitude in any form. You deserve to live, no? I was only performing my duties at the time."

"Paimon speculates that Y/N is simply not accustomed to being thanked at...?"

You let out a sigh and shook your head in a deliberate manner. You looked down at them and they immediately thanked whichever gods were responsible for allowing them the opportunity to finally take a good look at the face of the one who had helped them.

They feel as though fortune was on their side because a God gazed at them with such kindness in their eyes, despite the fact that they were literally citizens from a nation that does not worship any gods.

"How can we possibly repay you...?"

You cocked your head to the side and hummed to yourself while you started to think.

“Brace yourselves.” You spoke.

“Wha—?”

"Oh, wait, here, have this." You smiled broadly as a variety of visions comprising a range of elements appeared seemingly out of thin air.

They did nothing but blink in bewilderment as they held the small vision in their hands, looking like toddlers who had been given machine guns.

At this very moment, Amber was on the verge of passing out. Witnessing a group of individuals all at once getting their visions is unsettling to say the least. It feels even more wrong to breathe the same air as you!

Oh, my archons, her life is not a sufficient payment to be able to witness such a once-in-a-lifetime event!

 “Let’s all hang out once in awhile, hm? Don’t forget to say hello to Lulu for me!”

Aether raised a brow. Lulu?

With a wave of your hand, they vanished into thin air, and you sent them to a place where Lumine and the Abyss Order are currently staying.

To say that Lumine was horrified to the core when a group of humans suddenly appeared above the head of the abyss mage who was just talking to her would be an enormous understatement.

"Y-You can grant visions too!?" The scream that Paimon let out was so loud that it made you wince.

“Sorry!”

You indicated with a wave of your hand that everything was fine, and Paimon immediately let out a sigh of relief.

"Aether, do you know her, or is she a stranger?" Amber's lips were covered as she leaned in close to the man and mumbled something. In response, he gave a nod that conveyed something close to uncertainty.

You snorted as you extended your hand in front of Paimon and insisted that she give you, her hand. And as she did, a gnosis appeared in your hand.

"Oh, my dear archons!" Paimon reacted, fixating her gaze intently on the bright object that was floating directly above your palm.

"If we were to sell this, we could make a ton of Mora!"

“What—!?” Amber and Aether shouted at the same time.

You blinked and stroked your chin with your index finger as if you were considering what you had just heard. "If I remember correctly, there was a term for buy one and get one free. What if we double it?"

"No no no! Paimon is not even certain that there is a single person in Teyvat who can afford a gnosis! In addition to that, don't you think the other archons will feel uncomfortable about it?”

"Why should we worry about how they feel?" You huffed as you continued, "The one ruling Inazuma handed her gnosis to a friend, the one ruling Mondstadt doesn't even use it, and the one ruling Liyue will probably give up his gnosis in the near future.

"Well, if we're talking about the wealthiest individual in Teyvat right this minute..." You made a soft mumbling sound.

“Should we offer it for sale to the Tsaritsa? You smiled mischievously while cocking your head ever-so-slightly to the side.

As soon as you uttered that, an excruciating ringing sound immediately started up in your head. You gritted your teeth and squeezed one of your eyes shut.

“Y/N, are you okay?” You heard Aether’s worried voice.

"I thought we were each other's best friends! You should be aware that she wants a fight with me!” You can clearly hear Celestia nitpicking away inside of your head. As is her custom, she is highly dramatic.

“Well, it’s partly your fault that she wants to fight you.”

The three looked at you in surprise and astonishment as your choice of words came out of nowhere. To silence them, all you did was give them your whole attention while pressing a finger to your lips.

“Hmph…” You could hear her dejected voice.

“Oh hush, you have me. Just let them do their own thing for now.”

“Alright, but why are you selling a gnosis?”

"Creating a strategy for one's own survival is the first step toward leading a more fulfilling life," After having a good laugh, you promptly severed your connection with the Celestia before she could even begin to complain again.

“At least come visit us—!”

Oh, your closest friends and their overprotective tendencies when it comes to you. Why won't they just let you breathe and stop figuratively and physically clutching onto you for dear life?

"Your highness, who were you speaking with only a moment ago?" Amber stuttered, and for some reason, despite her outgoing nature, she found herself experiencing sudden feelings of shyness. I mean, really, how could you possibly hold that against her?

She hasn't even entertained the thought of speaking with an archon, and yet here she is having a conversation with someone who is significantly more powerful than the archons!

“Oh please, Y/N is fine,” you gave her a friendly smile and told her, “The Celestia is in full support of our business!”

They were all shocked beyond belief and let out a collective gasp.

As they imagined every people of Teyvat holding a gnosis, everyone in the room began to break out in a cold sweat at the back of their necks. You couldn't possibly be serious, could you? Surely you must have been joking. Right?

You met three new people along the way, and the four of you set off on a journey to the city that is known for its freedom. They all came to an agreement that the information on your identity and the incident with the hilichurls should not be shared with anybody else.

You trailed closely behind them, periodically turning your head to take in the beautiful surroundings and the people who belonged to your little archon.

“Let me officially introduce the city of wind, dandelions, and freedom— Travelers under the protection of the Knights of Favonius — Welcome to Mondstadt!” Amber grinned broadly as she placed her hand on her chest and cupped her other hand on her hip.

"O-Oh, not that her highness Y/N doesn't already know about Mondstadt...” Amber massaged the back of her head nervously as you made her blush with your laughter.

"I don't. I didn't have enough time to look into it, so I'm grateful for the introduction. Mm, the only figure of this nation that I am familiar with is the archon,” You were able to make her feel better with the words that you spoke, and now Amber can be seen beaming with happiness once more.

That, as well, is a blatant lie. You have completed so many commissions in this nation while you were still a player, so of course you are familiar with every nook and cranny of this city.

You didn't say anything while Amber and Paimon went into great length explaining things to Aether; the only thing you did was hum sometimes in reaction to what they were saying.

You were on the sidelines as Aether received his wind glider and put it through its trials for the first time, which resulted in a successful outcome.

Ha, that kid used to fly around with his very own set of wings before.

You swung your legs around gleefully as you sat precariously perched over the railings.

It is only a matter of time before the city is shrouded by ominous clouds and Dvalin makes another appearance. This means that you will be able to see your little floatie as well.

Aether descended toward Amber, who was standing there waiting for him once more, as the three of them observed that thick clouds and fog had begun to cover the skies above Mondstadt.

“The sky...” Amber uttered those words with a note of apprehension.

People immediately began fleeing to safer areas as Aether and Amber gazed up at you with worried expressions on their faces, as if pleading with you to take some action.

You only smiled at them before speaking the words, “The stormterror is absolutely adorable, no doubt about it, no?

“E—Eh!?” Your response caused Paimon to exclaim, and at that very moment, a wind tornado was closing in on them and ultimately launched Aether into the air.

You heaved a sigh as you stood up from the rails, your palm shining with some unknown power as a barrier began to enclose the city and prevent any harm from approaching.

You sighed again as you began to protect the citizens of the city. However, since you didn't make an effort to clear away the fog, everything will continue to be a mystery.

You cast your sight upward, in the direction of where Aether is floating in the air thanks to Venti's power, and the two people who were observing you followed your gaze in that direction.

"Don't worry, your highness! We will be all right!"

You couldn't help but laugh as you soared to the location of Aether, where you could sense Venti disguising as one of the thousand winds.

“I’m preventing your fall with the power of a thousand winds.”

“Oh? Little floatie came into rescue too?” You teased as the mysterious voice began stammering.

“L-Little floatie…?”

"Alright, alright, let's concentrate on this," You gave Aether a friendly smile while you ruffled his silky locks with your fingertips.

"Don't worry about a thing; little floatie will look after you."

Aether frowned, indicating that he found the idea quite unappealing. "How about you?"

You hummed as you sensed the wind from Venti moving closer to you as though it was also interested in you.

"I'm quite curious to find out if slapping a fried egg on the stormterror's blood clot will be of any assistance."

Aether's jaw dropped in disbelief. You’re still not done with the fried eggs!?

"Hey, what do you think of this idea, little floatie?"

The mysterious voice heaved a cough and mumbled, "Eh..."

After hearing their response, you rolled your eyes at them. They had a feeling that you wouldn't be speaking anytime soon, so Venti made the decision to explain how to make use of the power.

You were observing everything that was going on around Aether as he started to harness the power of the wind.

You made a few comments about how the wind power looked like a machine gun which made Venti cough multiple times to hide his laughter.

“Not enough. Do you want me to slap you with an almond tofu for an increased damage?”

“W—What?”

You didn't bother to wait for his approval before presenting him with the plate of almond tofu that magically emerged in your hands and then you gently slapped it in front of his face.

It was such a surprising thing that you could practically feel Venti shaking, which almost caused him to lose control of the wind. It was that shocking.

As Aether took the final shot, Dvalin let out a roar, and you swiftly flew over to the dragon, which appeared to be about to collapse as it was shaking in the wind.

Venti stayed only long enough to watch the softening of your eyes as you stared at the blood clot on the dragon's back. Aether slowly flew down to the area where the others are, but Venti did not leave.

He watched as your bright hands gently caressed the dark crystal, which immediately silenced the dragon's roaring.

You were reluctant to completely remove the blood clot because it was Venti and Aether's responsibility to do it. However, because you are so compassionate toward individuals who are suffering, all you did was relieve the discomfort that the dragon was experiencing.

It is completely up to destiny to decide whether or not the abyss mage will still be able to exert control over the dragon.

"Little floatie," You moved your attention to the wind that was swirling. "The traveler is known to be trustworthy. I have complete faith that you are aware of the next steps."

The strong wind has started to die down, and the only sound that can be heard out is a faint “thank you.”

You led the weakened dragon back to the ground, and as soon as the two of you landed, three abyss mages suddenly appeared. You grimaced when you realized that Lumine must have sent them to seek you out.

"Our gracious benefactor," An abyss mage started things off. "Our princess would want to offer her sincere gratitude to—"

You heaved a sigh as you frowned and crossed your arms while looking at them. "I believed that I conveyed to them that receiving gratitude is not something that I like in any way,"

“Uh… they may have mentioned that.”

You gave your temples a light massage as the headache began to set in and asked, "So why are you here?"

"We would like to make a request that you lend us a hand in the restoration of our once-thriving nation and in rescuing its people from the curse."

"Oh, I had already made preparations to carry out that task," You gave your response, and then proceeded to yawn.

If only they knew that your two friends were the cause of their fall, they probably wouldn't be as friendly with you as they are now if they knew that.

As they drifted closer to you, the abyss mages showed signs of happiness; however, when they heard your next words, "But not right now," their happiness quickly turned to disappointment, and they almost plummeted to the ground.

“But— why?”

"Of what use is a nation if it does not have its people?" As you lounged contentedly on Dvalin's back, a sluggish expression began to appear on your face.

“So…”

"If I happen to come across one of your own, you can rest assured that I will deliver them to your princess so that she may deal with them." You uttered those words in a languid manner while staring at them. "Focus on gathering your people, since your nation will not all of a sudden grow a foot and run anyways." 

"We are in all sincerity grateful for—"

“Hush.”

They abruptly stopped speaking once they were reminded that you do not enjoy receiving gratitude or hearing thank yous in any form.

You are truly a weird God— they think. But kind like their princess, nonetheless.

“Then we shall return.”

You made a careless motion with your hand, indicating for them to leave immediately.

“Tell your princess that she should at least pay a visit to her twin, and if she does that, maybe I'll feel more motivated to assist you.”

Your level of excitement and enthusiasm is to be expected, of course. The sooner they come to an understanding with one another, the sooner they will get the fuck out of Teyvat.

That means, you won't have any more job to do. On the other hand, you get the impression that it won't be all that simple.

Not with the looks that Aether was giving you, and not with Lumine's nature, which dictates that she won't stop until she pays back whoever helped her out.

Just hush and go, okay!? What is it that they have planned for the following step? Bring themselves to their knees and make a formal request for your hand in marriage? You let out a sigh as the thought crossed your mind.

In spite of the fact that you intended to rebuild the once-mighty nation, you wanted to execute it in private. There is no question in your mind that once they discovered who their benefactor is, then and only then will they revere that benefactor. What then will become of a nation that does not believe in God or even worship one?

The mages of the abyss remained silent for a short while as they observed various expressions adorning your face. It turned out to be quite comical. It's no surprise that their princess was so interested in interacting with you that she issued a command to find you.

They continued to observe you while you glared, huffed, and grimaced at the ground, and it wasn't until you frowned at them that they eventually left with a quiet "thank you."

You rolled your eyes. “What a bunch of brats.”

As soon as you arrived back in Mondstadt, you saw the three of them speaking to Kaeya. Although the fog has long since dissipated, the sky itself is still completely dark.

As you made your way slowly towards the folks who were introducing themselves, you waved your hand and the barrier vanished before your eyes. 

“This is Kaeya, our Cavalry Captain.” Amber carried on talking as if she had not noticed your presence and proceeded. “These two are travelers from afar, Aether and Paimon.”

Kaeya looked at the two individuals and gave a nod in acknowledgement. He then made direct eye contact with you and asked, "And who might this young lady possibly be?"

Amber's eyes widened as she shifted her gaze back and forth between Kaeya and you. Kaeya saw the outrider's expression, which seemed to indicate that she was at a loss for words regarding how to introduce you.

Your presence elevated the level of excitement that he felt towards everything.

“Oh, I’m Y/N. I sell visions and gnoses.” You responded with an expression on your face that was completely expressionless, and your voice was completely emotionless, which made the situation even more awkward and unbelievable.

The response that you gave seemed to take Kaeya completely by surprise. You? Selling visions? How in the devil is something like that ever feasible? And just what exactly are gnoses?

“Uh… haha…” Amber, at a complete loss for words, scratched the nape of her neck.

"Oh? I had no idea that lady Y/N is such a practical joker,” Even though Kaeya appeared to be laughing, there was not the slightest indication of humor in his voice.

"Uh-huh, you bet! Paimon is in agreement that Y/N has a tendency to joke around quite a bit!” In a frantic effort to salvage the situation, Paimon quickly nodded her head.

"Well, if you want to buy one, all you have to do is ask me..." You just said it while crossing your arms.

“Oh? I was wondering if you could sell me one then." It appeared as though Kaeya was making fun of you with his charming smile; in fact, it almost felt that way.

You seemed curious about something as you cocked your head to the side and then asked, "Don't you already have a vision though?"

"Well, having two would certainly make things more interesting, wouldn't you say?"

You took a moment to think about it before giving your approval with a nod. As you lifted your hands and opened your palms, visions of several elements, each glowing brightly, suddenly appeared.

Huh? He thought you were just joking the whole time!

It would be an understatement to say that Kaeya was caught off guard by the revelation. Are you a fraud? A magician perhaps? However, the visions you are holding exude such an overwhelming amount of power that it is difficult to even consider the possibility that they are a fake.

“Mm, you’re my first customer, so in appreciation of your patronage, I'll give you a discount if you buy Aether and Paimon a meal. Fair trade, don't you think?”

What fair trade? A simple meal in exchange for a vision? Do you not realize that visions are extraordinarily rare, and that the vast majority of people would give anything — including their lives — to receive one?

Of course you're aware of it; you're just messing with them for the sake of witnessing their reactions. It's likely that protecting Teyvat for thousands of years has had an effect on you, as seen by the fact that you're even doing this for no other reason than boredom.

Kaeya remained motionless in his stance; his eyes riveted on the bright visions that had no owner. After snapping out of his trance, he took off his cloak and wrapped it around you in a tender manner.

You made a sound that indicated that you were confused as he said, "Let's continue this conversation to our headquarters."

"Tch, I really need to bring Crepus back to life so that he can scold his children to death."

"Are you going to use fried eggs for that man too?" Paimon inquired, which caused Kaeya's surprise and horror to reach an even higher level.

Too? Does that mean that this wouldn't be your first time bringing someone back to life?

Now, Kaeya is positive that he wishes he could just pass out right there and then.

TAGLIST: @valeriele3 @lunarapple @meikoo

ASK OR REPLY TO TAG

[charmercharm3r]

I saw you said you take requests and I just have not been able to get the thought of an agnsty smutty friends with benefits nightmare with seungmin 😣 I just feel like he could be so emotionally closed off it could be such a mess but I want it so bad 😩also I love you’re writing and feel free to ignore this if you’re busy or don’t feel inspired by it 🤎🤍🤎

eeeeeeee this was super fun hehehehehe. I hope you like it!!

Jealousy, Jealousy

KSM

Masterlist

wc: 2.4k

warnings: smut, explicit sexual content, fwb!seungmin, afab!reader, angst!!, semi public/car sex, protected sex, marking, scratching, possessive seungmo, alcohol consumption but neither of them are drunk (consent is key!), heart been broke so many times befooore

When the alcohol starts to taste like water, you know that you should stop. You know, but you don’t, tolerance built too high at this point that it truly feels like you’re drinking just water. You also know that the neon lights can make anyone look decent enough to sleep with if you squint hard enough. But he looks good enough to fuck all the time, like all the time. It’s  fucking annoying.

Hair pushed back and sleek dress shirt made Seungmin’s frame look taller than usual, stronger and more pronounced shoulders shielded around your body and away from any onlookers– or moreso, your friends. He had pulled you onto the crowded dance floor to talk, of all things you could be doing instead. Seungmin stole the half empty drink from your hand and downed it to get your attention, which he had all of now.

“Stop being jealous. It’s not a good look on you,” he leaned down to speak into your ear, arm simultaneously draping around your waist and slowly swaying to the sound of the deep bass.

“Funny, I was thinking you could be a model in the desperation catalog,” you couldn’t help but mindlessly dance with him.

You recalled the reason he had you secluded away from your shared group of friends, Seungmin had seemed to be getting a bit too cozy with a girl at the bar which ended up making you just so happen to stumble into Minho’s lap. It was an accident, you’d reached for more alcohol and tripped into his arms just as Seungmin came back. You were going to get off of him immediately but he’d held onto you, keeping you sat and unable to move. The past hour you spent cuddling up to Minho, you also watched Seungmin from the corner of your eye. He didn’t seem to be remotely bothered until you got up to use the bathroom and he steered you off course.

“Your comebacks are getting better, pretty. You’ve been spending too much time with me.” His hand drifted further down, cupping your ass and tugging so you were chest to chest.

“Kinda have to speak to each other if I’m gonna start picking up on your lingo.”

“I’m speaking to you now, aren’t I?”

“By choice? Don’t make me laugh,” you snickered and pushed away from him, turning to walk away but he’d grabbed your hip and brought you back.

“C’mon, don’t be like that.” The sly smile on his face only looked sexier because it was for you. His smile was always for you, but hidden away from anyone that mattered. His argument, that what did it matter if anyone knew or didn’t? It didn’t change how he felt about you. That just leaves you with more questions and more overly acknowledged feelings, how does he feel about you? Something Seungmin always found a way not to answer. You didn’t expect to start having romantic feelings for him when you agreed to be fuck buddies, no way in hell was that on your bingo card. But here you are anyway, helplessly in love with the one guy who refused to be in any sort of relationship that required caring about anyone but himself. What made it even worse? He’d told you from the very beginning, months ago, that there were gonna be no feelings involved, from him or from you whether you liked it or not.

Seungmin pouted for a quick second before the neon lights shifted and casted a shadow across his face, blurring any remnants of something other than lust.

“Let’s get out of here,” he suggested, lips meeting the shell of your ear and nibbling gently.

“Actually, I told Minho I’d have a few more drinks with him. Can’t let him down,” you pushed him away softly, looking over Seungmin’s shoulder in search of the other man you’d known was out of sight. 

He’d let out a loud scoff, hand dropping to slap against his thigh. Raising an eyebrow, you quirked, “you’re right. Jealousy isn’t that sexy, afterall.” You reached up to tap his cheek mockingly, to which he’d caught your wrist and held on tightly. Seungmin dragged your body back in to smash against his. You could feel his erection against your stomach, clearly straining in his pants needing release.

“”M not jealous. I just don’t share my toys.”

“Who ever said I’m yours? I’m not the one crying for a wet pussy to stick my dick in. If anything, you’re mine with the way you’re begging.”

Anger spread across his face, watching his nose twitch at your blunt words. This was how you got him in your bed in the first place, Seungmin was a sucker for the back and forth shit talk, as were you apparently. Though, he usually caved rather easily once he was hard. Now, through the bright purple you could tell he was red in the face.

Check mate, “I’m gonna go find Minho.”

You pushed past him, taking your empty glass from his hand in the process. Just as you’d made it off the dancefloor and could see your group of friends and Minho, making eye contact and smiling at him, Seungmin emerged behind you and stole you away once more. You cursed at the roughness of which he manhandled you out of the club and tossed you over his shoulder to throw into the backseat of his car. Not without a fight, though your fist weakly slamming against his back may as well have been replaced by tufts of feathers seeing as he didn’t so much as flinch and deciding to give up.

Landing on your back, Seungmin lifted your legs to wrap around his waist and closed the door behind him, now leaning over your body. “What the fuck is your problem?” You shouted in his face.

“You don’t want Minho. You just want a reaction. Now look, I’m fucking reacting. Are you happy?” Seungmin kept you pinned down with his hands next to your head, crotches pressed together and the roughness of his jeans made it difficult not to move against. You could tell he felt it too, biting his lip in hesitation.

“No, I’m not happy.” The loud tone of your voice made Seungmin flinch back, not angry nor sad, simply helpless. For a second he ran through all the unprocessed panging emotions in his chest before shoving them back down, throbbing in his pants overriding his brain.

“How can I make you happy?” He called back even though the two of you were only inches from one another.

Neither of you said anything, both equally taken aback by his question, eyes searching for blatant answers he always chose to ignore. Then your body moved before your brain could say no, crashing your lips into his.

Your hands slipped under the back of his shirt and raked nails down his spine while Seungmin’s hips grinded against your clothed pussy, moans mixing in one another’s mouths. Tongues and spit made the kiss slippery, messy as he sat back on his hunches to undo his pants and lift your dress around your torso. There was only a brief moment where he paused once his pants and underwear were pulled down around his thighs and the kiss turned soft. His hand came up to cup your cheek and melted against you, pressing closed-lipped smooches to distract from him pulling your underwear to the side.

The moan you let out when his fingers slid through your folds made him chuckle into your mouth and lose the sweetness of the kiss. As soon as you had a taste, Seungmin made sure to remind you of what you were here for, what he was here for.

He collected your arousal and used it to circle your clit smoothly, making you yelp in surprise when his head fell down to bite roughly into your neck, sure to leave a mark. That was something he never did, Seungmin was sure to never leave any evidence of your agreement. But now he was moving with intention, purposely placing deepening bruises in the most obvious area while you rubbed your bundle of nerves against his hand.

“Stop being a fucking tease,” you murmured and reached between your bodies for his cock, hot and leaking.

“This not making you happy? People will know you’re mine,” Seungmin grumbled back, continuing his assault to your skin with his teeth and letting you stroke him.

“No. You know what will.”

Seungmin incoherently mumbled into you once more before finding your lips again, blindly reaching for his wallet for a condom and swatting your hand away to roll it on. You were about to complain about his rudeness when the blunt head was pressing against your entrance and slowly sinking in, mind falling blank. The car windows were foggy as he bottomed out and bent your knees to your chest, readjusting by pulling your ass further out from under you so you were folded in half. He slid that much deeper and nudged your soft spot, whimpering without filter as your eyes screwed closed.

“Haven’t even done anything yet, pretty,” Seungmin mocked you, smiling to himself and testingly pulling out just to plunge back into you. Lewd sounds filled the car even more, wetness coating his cock with every short, sturdy thrust. His hands were keeping him up on either side of your head. Just to have something to grab onto, you reached up and held onto his wrists, nails digging into his skin.

The longer his movements stayed minimal, the louder you became. Seungmin kept his eyes trained on your face, watching every change in expression. Until you opened your eyes and found him staring, then he closed his and head fell back. The way he avoided it made your cunt clench, doing so on purpose. His pull out, tighten. Push in, relax with him.

“Fuck– doesn’t even feel like I’m pulling out.”

Seungmin shuffled around again, stealing back his hands but replacing your grip onto his biceps so he could push your knees harder against your chest. His thrusts picked up into a full pounding, skin on skin bouncing around the vehicle and for sure making the car shake. You clawed up and down his arms, leaving darkening red streaks along his pale skin. In a way, you were marking him the same way he did to you and it made you proud.

Unholy noises were falling from both your mouths, even more when you let go of his arm to rub at your clit again. The action made him pause and flick your hand away the way he did earlier, replacing your touch with his. You kept your unbound knee to your chest and let him work you up further, dizzy at how well he knew your body.

“Still think Minho could fuck you this good? Still wanna play stupid games you can’t win, pretty?” You whined and whimpered without a straight answer, but that was telling enough. “Didn’t think so. You belong to me. I’ll ruin you for anyone else.”

You were covered in sweat, body overheating, and on the verge of your orgasm when Seungmin leaned over to bury his head in your neck to leave even more marks. He rubbed harder, faster, just the way you liked and combined with the pain of his teeth breaking your skin, your vision went white with ecstasy. He didn’t slow down, didn’t stop even as your high subsided and used you to chase his own. You pulled him from his hiding place by the back of his hair and stared into his eyes, only whispering, “cum,” and he did. You milked him through his orgasm with hard, steady pulses of your walls until the condom was full.

Seungmin didn’t move, exhausted and shocked that he could come on command. You were surprised as well at how he responded, but chose not to say anything about it as not to scare him away. That was the last thing you wanted.

He pulled out once he started to grow flaccid, pecking your lips a few times and tying off the condom. You don’t know what he did with it, only focusing on adjusting your panties and thinking about what you were going to say to your friends when you met up with them again.

That was your plan, give him an acknowledging smile and go back inside to try and forget about his stupid smile and stupidly good cock that gives you stupidly good orgasms because you were just a hole and he was just a dick to ride.

At least, that’s what you told yourself.

Seungmin helped pull your dress down and stuffed himself into his pants before opening the door to back out of the car. As you clambered out, he held his hand out for you to take. You raised an eyebrow at him. “I’ll take you home,” he closed the door as you stood up straight just to back you against the side of the car.

His face centimeters from yours, hands on your waist and smirking down at the evidence of his presence on your skin. The marks were full bruises now, entirely too noticeable to even consider going back inside without an interrogation. You snuck a peak at his arms to find them covered with a jacket, no telling of you on him. Your face visibly fell, quickly noted by him and making up for it with a chaste kiss. He didn’t let you escape, nowhere to go between him in front and the cold metal of the car at your back.

It was getting harder to be upset the longer his lips lingered on yours, he was letting you card your fingers through his hair and keep his body against yours by the loops of his pants, all in public where anyone could see. You wished someone would. That is, until his hips pressed against your stomach once more and felt his dick solid again. You sighed into his mouth, hearing him chuckle as he pulled away. “C’mon, pretty. Let me take you home,” he asked again.

“Why should I?” You challenged, not entirely ready to let go of him.

Leaning in to your ear, whispering even though no one was around, “I’ll fuck you so good you, you won’t know how to do anything but cum.”

The thought was tempting. So tempting that you giggled and nodded, letting him kiss you one more time, saccharine and gentle. He opened the passenger door for you, closing it and running around to the driver seat. Seungmin started the car and began the drive to your place, his hand on your thigh and climbing higher.

Content, warm, giggling about the condensation rolling down the windows, so blissfully blind, you asked the million dollar question. “Will you stay the night?”

His hand retreated, “you already know the answer.”

-

tags: @sensitiveandhungry @babebatter @aliferousminho @changbinluvr @epiphanynaffit @fawnpeaks @linovely @dumplinbokkieracha @finnydraws @naturules @djeniryuu @hamburgers101 @skzhomiehopper @yesv01 @hyunjinsamdl

[littledollll]

Hii can I please request a fic for principle weems x student reader. Where R has been missing from classes all day and the teachers have reported it. so weems goes to find R and is kind of mad beacuse R is a bit of a problem student with good grades. So when she finds R is sick in her dorm w a fever and is delirious she’s worried and so weems looks after her. I would love this. Thank you for considering it even if you dont write it :) also I love your writing its very amazing. <3 (sorry if this request is a bit long)

Problem child

Larissa weems x student!reader

A/n: I love requests like this so don’t you worry! I started writing this the very same night you requested and had so much fun, thank you for your request<3

Warnings: platonic relationship, sick reader, Larissa being such a mom, reader actually calls Larissa mom once, food.

————————————————————

Larissa could already feel a headache coming on after checking the attendance of the homeroom teachers to find out that you were yet again, not in class. But it wasn’t until the end of the day that all the teachers reported you missing from class that she really got concerned.

It’s always something with you. It was one of the seven wonders to Larissa how you managed to keep up good grades while simultaneously being one of the most problematic children in the school. So you not showing up to any of the classes had to mean you were up to no good. Thankfully though, when she checked if your usual group of trouble making friends attended class, most of them were in all their classes, with the occasional skip or tardy. So what could you possibly be up to on your own?

She was about ready to storm into your room and even more ready for the probability of not finding you there. Turns out she didn’t even consider any of the normal reasons for why a student would miss class, figures.

To say she was shocked to actually see you in your room, in your bed, practically rotting away sick, would be an understatement. In a flash, her anger seemed to fade away as she knocked on the door to announce her presence, which was a little too late but still appreciated.

You looked her way as you heard it, and instantly groaned and turned away. “Oh my you look horrible-“ words came tumbling out of her mouth before she could even think and rephrase.

“Oh thanks- I really appreciate that.” The middle of your sentence was cut off by a cough. You sounded horrible too, but Larissa learned to shut her mouth by now with the dripping sarcasm in your words. “I apologize. That’s not what I meant to say. I just mean you look really ill.” You turned to her, squinting your eyes. “Yeah sure, that sounds better.”

Larissa sighed and rolled her eyes. “You’re impossible.” And you wouldn’t be you if you didn’t bite back even with your hoarse voice. “And you’re an as- mean. You’re mean.” You instantly trailed off from your intentes words at Larissa’s warning look, but she moved on from it quickly.

“Do you have a fever?” She asked, not wanting to overstep or touch you without you allowing it. “How the hell would I know? I just feel like shit and the world is all spiny..” Did you just feel like being extra impossible today? She sighed. “Have you been locked in here the whole day?” The second you nodded she decided to take the rest of the afternoon to care for you as best as she could.

She encouraged you to go back to sleep as she went down to the cafeteria, grabbing a few bottled waters and having them pack up your dinner to bring back to your dorm. Usually nots allowed, but in cases like these she’d make an exception.

When she came back you were already fast asleep. She sighed and spoke quietly to herself. “What am I going to do with you, problem child?”

In all honesty, she truly didn’t know what to do. Should she wake you up to eat?.. no resting should take priority but it’s late, and you’ve yet to have a bite of food. So after a bit of contemplating, she lightly shook you awake, leaving you to wake up confused. “..mom?”

Oh you poor thing. Larissa offered a small smile, choosing not to mention it. “I’ve brought you dinner, I think it’s best if you eat up before heading back to bed, alright?” You whined and complained but eventually sat up, looking between Larissa and the food a little awkwardly. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to sit here and watch you eat. I just needed to make sure you’d actually get to it.”

You nodded, placing a pillow over your lap and resting the container there. There was a beat of silence before you looked back up to her. “Thank you.., principal Weems.”

She flashed you her signature smile, it was oddly comforting. “Of course. Do let me know if you need anything else, and please, rest up, darling. I rather see you up and causing trouble than like this.”

[patrophthia]

congrats on 1k girl! 🎉

could i please request charms professor!reader x remus ?

remus comes back to teach at hogwarts and they meet again after having had crushes on each other back in school and reader and severus are kinda friends since they work together and maaaybe remus gets a little sad/jealous :(

but not too sad still super cute sorry if this is too much or doesn't make sense!

omg i haven’t written remus in so long,,, jealous remus has a chokehold over me it’s no good

it’d be an honor | remus lupin

pairing: remus lupin x reader

genre: fluff, meddling weasley twins!!

part of my 1k celebration event !

Remus knows that it's wrong for him to look at you this way, to even dare to think of you in this way when it's been oh so long since it happened.

And though his Hogswart days has long passed, his feelings for you never really did. Especially since he's been seeing you almost every weekend when the Potters get your friend group together for dinner and you'd —without fail— stick to his side the entire night. He knew you reciprocated his feelings then, now though? Maybe not so much.

Remus also knows that you're friends with Severus —has been ever since you've gotten your job as the Charms Professor, and though he understood —through and through— that the two of you were only friends, he can't help but feel his stomach drop whenever you'd smile at Severus a little too bright for his liking.

But he digress, you were only his friends and he has no right to feel jealous over something as ridiculous as this.

"You'll like him, Professor!" A voice insisted, tone nagging as Remus turned around a corner. "He's funny!"

"For the last time Fred," you sighed exasperatedly, catching Remus' eyes as you did so. Remus raise a questioningly brow at you, only for you to shake your head in return. "No."

Remus doesn't mean to pry, but the look on George and Fred's face reminded him too much of his two best friends —both of which were related to the Weasley's might he add! That he had to chirp in. "No to what?"

George grins brightly, "a date! Can you believe her? She's turned down ten very good looking men (They'd asked for Ginny and Hermione's approval before presenting them to you) just for Professor Snape."

"First of all, Snape is a fun person to be around." There's that pit in his stomach again, threatening to swallow him up and spit him back out. "Secondly, he's my friend. And thirdly, if you're this insistent on trying to find me a date then do it sometimes after your OWLs, I don't want you to waste your time on this instead of studying."

The twins laughs loudly, finding it hilarious that you thought they'd study for OWLs —they did end up studying at the end of the year, but they have a few months left and wanted to use it for something more fun. "Do you like Professor Snape, Professor?"

You choke, baffled at the question. "No, what gave you that impression?"

"Well you're quick to defend him," Fred says.

"And you're always with him," George adds.

Then simultaneously: "Excuse us for assuming that you fancied him."

"I don't fancy Severus," you sigh. And Remus tries not to make it obvious just relief he felt by those words. "I'm just not interested in dating right now."

"Hmm," Fred hums thoughtfully, "how about Professor Lupin then?" He's looking over at Remus now, glossing over the second portion of your retort. "Do you fancy him?"

"He's my friend, Fred."

"That wasn't his question," George says, smirking. "Bloody hell, you do like him!"

Childish. That's what this conversation was. Still, Remus can't find it in himself to not get excited by the twins next words. "Professor Lupin, are you free this weekend?"

Remus turns to look at you, noting how you're avoiding his eyes as he did so. "No, why?"

"Would you like to go on a date?"

You're peeking at him from below your lashes and he pretends not to know that you're doing so by glancing between the twins instead.

"With?"

"Oh but with this lovely, Professor. Of course!" Fred says dramatically, making jazz hands on your left side while George did the same from your right. "What do you say, sir?"

"It’d be an honor.”

[banamine-bananime]

one thing that always perplexes me is how often i see takes on tucker where the work positions him as a great dad*, fluent in sangheili language and culture, and most of all, a great diplomat.

i'm not here to yuck anyone's yum and i, too, am absolutely transfixed and enraptured by this man's oscillation between "my one purpose in life is to constantly test the human limits of Annoyingness" and "sudden, shocking extreme competence with no warning" like a little Newton's cradle. like, i just spent 7000 words indulging myself in thinking about a version of tucker that listens a lot more to the "do whatever you gotta to protect the people you love and do what you think is right regardless of what people think" cartoon angel on his shoulder and less to the "that sounds hard i just wanna mouth off, jerk off, fuck off, and negg church" devil. i cannot throw stones and clearly i think that's a fun and valid interpretation of how his character could evolve. but evolve is the keyword there and it baffles me when this gets treated as the fact of how he immediately snapped into being as soon as he had junior, you know?

like. obviously tucker ended up doing some massively impressive shit as an ambassador in sandtrap. but that's because he wasn't being an ambassador, he was being The Final Girl in il/ct's slasher flick. getting trapped in a beseiged temple is, traghilariously, the best thing that could have happened for him in terms of being good at that job. if tucker were a pathfinder character he would have 18s in "dealing with your life suddenly being taken over by ancient alien religion bullshit", "surviving crazy shit through sheer spite and the adrenaline rush of pissing off whatever asshole has made it their life's mission to kill you this time", and "being the only person who knows what fucked up shit is going on while the rest of the bgc ignore you". he would have a 2 in "saying things that make people want to kill you LESS". de-escalation is not in this man's skillset. he cannot even handle being normal about human women. appreciating the intricacies of sangheili culture and politics, human culture and politics, and sangheili-human relations?

Tucker: People learn English all the time, it aren't that hard.

Church: Maybe you should try learning his language.

Tucker: Fuck that, we got here first, and that makes this a colony. Those're the rules, dude. Earth colony, Earth language.

Church: Tucker there's thousands of languages spoken on Earth.

Tucker: Hyeah, but only one that kicks ass. And that's the one we're teaching. English 101, remedial kick-ass.

i know this is pre-junior and doubtlessly, he is more interested in this stuff after junior (because junior's life does depend on sangheili politics and human-alien relations) and MUST be less dense about it after HAVING to do it as a job. like by osmosis at the very least something must have permeated his brain. but the gap between this^ and "knowledgeable enough to be an asset in this career, one people need at least one relevant degree for" is, uh, bigger than a few months between leaving blood gulch and being sent out to the field

sometimes i think about what a fucking trip it would be to be on the UNSC diplomatic team with tucker LMAO can you imagine how unpopular he must have been. a bunch of polisci and IR nerds like fists clenched shaking like leaves trying to restrain the urge to give this guy a swirlie because he cannot stop sounding like a fucking family guy episode while you're trying to, like, convince the warrior queen of some isolated Sangheili heretical sect to ally with the Swords of Sangheilios and the species they've been dead set on annihlating for decades. and also you know he's only an ambassador as like the weirdest most fucked up variation of a nepo baby. nepo forced interspecies religious incubator. the token chestburster virgin mary hire. the simultaneous Hatred for this guy making your job hell, the impotent rage of knowing that it is, actually, important that he be there for Symbolic reasons, and feeling sympathetic to him. you know part of why he's Like This is literally just because he's 20 and should be at the club but has had the year from hell and didn't ask for this. it's easy to forget that because he doesn't complain about any of the actually bad things that happened and just rolls with whatever crazy shit comes his way. complaining is reserved for being an annoying little bitch about petty shit.

ANYWAYS i'm not saying stop having fun with very competent versions of tucker. we're all just here to have fun. i just like what a weird combo of competent and disaster he is, as i interpret him, and i, personally, am incapable of interpreting him as being actually very good at his job as ambassador

*the only two options are not "bad dad" and "great dad". having an alien parasite non-consensually implanted in you by a manipulative fraudster to force his own involvement in a prophecy - oh and also their species is trying to exterminate yours - and going, "well, this baby didn't choose this, they're just a baby, and you know what? my baby. i love this baby unreservedly and unconditionally, fuck you." shows a capacity for love and forgiveness that's frankly fucking insane, both in the good-impressive way and the what-is-going-on-in-your-brain-and-how-did-this-kind-of-decision-making-not-get-you-killed-yet way. and tucker very clearly loves junior a lot and does his best - which, i want to reiterate, is absolutely wild considering the circumstances - but he wasn't ready for a kid, is bad at accepting responsibility especially for others, and the way that Things Never Stop Happening in his life mean he is really not very present. and it's not JUST because of things happening outside of his control - there were periods after season 8 and after season 13 he probably could have permanently reunited with junior and didn't.

[jhugas]

‘PROVE IT. I’- Jeon Jungkook

Masterlist

✿✼:*ﾟ:༅｡.｡༅:*･ﾟﾟ･⭑

Genre: smut

Pairing: rival!athletic!Jungkook X afab!athletic!Reader

Summary: You and Jungkook both got 1st place in a competition, and as a prize you’re both invited to a luxury hotel. The thing is, you both hate each other. What will happen when Jungkook who believes you’re a slut, gets drunk with you?

Word count: ~2k

Warnings/tags: penetration, clit play, heavy make out, curved dick!Jungkook, jk slut shames the reader (she answers), having sex while drunk, con sex, f gets two orgasms, rough; sloppy sex; make out, mentions of being filmed/ photographed by paparazzis while doing it, very slight aftercare but at least it’s here, unprotected sex (be safe), cums in her, you’re both pretty famous.

✿✼:*ﾟ:༅｡.｡༅:*･ﾟﾟ･⭑

You and Jungkook are enemies. It’s simple, from the moment you both got the 1st place at a competition and the same score; war has been declared.

During separated competitions, you’d always get similar scores. So many people would compare you two to each other and said they wanted you two to be against each other. But now that it happened… you got the same score and you couldn’t be more furious about that. You and only you deserved this place. He was an asshole, a complete bastard. He kept on sending you messages on Instagram saying he was about to win, that you weren’t good enough and other shits like this. Let’s not lie though, you did answer to his insults and tried to humble him, but he’s just too full of himself.

The competition was 3 days ago. Pictures of you two were posted on the competition’s official account, and let’s say everyone noticed the tension between you two; you were both staring at each other fist clenched and ready to fight.

This kept going till you both left the field, but this wasn’t the end. Having two winners wasn’t part of their plan, but they couldn’t just change the rules. So as a prize, you won a trip to « The Grand Deluxe Pool Villa », a huge hotel that’s luxury and famous. Not to mention the gorgeous view you have and the perfect pool. Indeed, it is the perfect destination, but you won’t be alone. This competitive, full of himself boy will also be there. And the worst is; you’ll both be in the same bedroom.

Well… at least you got different private jets.

Today is the day you have to leave, you just finished your baggage and you’re ready to go. Not your first 1st place but your first private jet for sure. You can’t help but be annoyed at the fact that he’ll be there. Fun fact, he’ll arrive an hour before you, so from the moment you leave your apartment, you can say bye bye to your intimacy and peace. On the way to the airport, the taxi driver recognized you, you took a picture with him and from the moment he posted it, there were already comments like:

“I can’t believe they’ll be stuck together”

“this whole thing is so funny to me”

“ain’t no way they’ll survive with a pool beside them… one of them is definitely about to drown”

So it was official, everybody knew you’ll be together and everybody knew that you hated each other.

The private jet was gorgeous and the travel was fine. Only drawback; there wasn’t any food? So after all these hours, you were dying of hunger. All you wanted to do was to arrive to the hotel, and eat. Another taxi driver brought you to the hotel and you were finally there, in front of the big door that’s the entrance of hell and heaven simultaneously.

‘Why you taking so long’

A deep voice said through the doorbell. Shit. It had a camera. You huff and tell him you don’t have the damn keys.

‘Beg to get in’

‘Shut the fuck up and open the damn door.’

He laughs and opens it. He doesn’t even look at you that he starts going back to the pool. He was only wearing his bathing shorts, and some bruises over the competition a few days ago now. You close the door, put your baggage down and immediately go to the kitchen. To your surprise, he cooked. Some little dishes were on the table. You ate all of them then decided to join him. You changed and put on your bikini then went to the pool.

‘Dressed like a slut I see’

The man says while looking at you up and down.

‘You’re talking? You think you look hot with all of them tattoos?’

You cross your arms

‘I do, but that’s not what I wanted to talk about.’

He answers and frowns his eyebrows.

‘You really think I don’t know you fuck everyone in the team? Your opponents… arbitrators… huh? You won’t get me though.’

He assumes full of himself. You can tell this dork is proud of what he just said. It was obviously fake, you never fucked anyone just to get some points or a win. All of your wins existed thanks to your efforts. You truly deserved all of your prizes.

‘I never fucked anyone to get a win loser. I won thanks to myself for believing in me and giving me every chance to win. And guess what? Next time I play against you, believe me, you’ll be crying in your 2nd place with your poor medal.’

You said confidently. You meant every word you said. The night goes on and you’re now both of you sitting beside each other on the couch, alcohol on the small table in front of the TV, a romantic movie playing but you don’t pay attention. You both love to drink, and especially after big efforts and wins. So you won’t stop yourselves and you take multiple shots till you get drunk as hell.

‘Fuck! This shit is burning my throat’

Jungkook said as he turned around to look at you, waiting for your reaction. You lick your lips, tasting the sweet flavour of the drink you just drank and look back at him lazily. You’re too drunk to act normal, so you just stare at him. Nothing in mind.

‘Ha, you really think you can get to me huh?? Licking your lips, staring at me, making me drunk and exposing your body like you always do. You’re just a fucking slut.’

He says as he grabs your chin and gets closer to you and as you can smell his strong, masculine perfume he put on right after the pool. You also get closer, crossing your legs and your cleavage naked, open to the man in front of you.

‘I am not. A slut. So stop treating me like one.’

You said, clearly trying to stop all of this.

‘Sure little thing…’

He whispers as he gets even closer to your face and places his lips only an inch away from yours.

‘Prove it then.’

Is the last thing he said before smashing his reddish lips into yours. Slowly sucking your top lip while you’re slowly trying to keep up with his pace. He’s kissing you eagerly, leaving all of his problems behind, or maybe just putting out his emotions in it. He closes his eyes, frowning his eyebrows as he tilts his head to the side to get a better angle and to get a better taste of you.

The kiss is sloppy, imperfect, but there’s nothing you can do about it, he was all the way in. He assumed every move he was doing, licking your lips, switching in between your top and bottom ones, biting on your bottom ones from time to time. It’s like he had planned all day long to make out with you all night long.

He brings his hands to your waist, hips, neck, and hair. The kiss was also slow, romantic and passionate. He grabs you like someone was trying to steal you away from him. He tastes you like you’re his last meal. And kisses you like he’s been in love with you since forever. It’s like you were the only thing he cared about at that time. Was it winning against you? Or winning you?

He starts going “mmh” in his kisses, going deeper and bringing you closer to him. You pull out to breathe but it’s like he needed you to live. He pulls in back immediately and carries on with what he started. You start moaning into the kiss, your pussy’s starting to get wet and he knows it.

So he slowly gets one of his hands to slide down from the back of your head, to your cleavage, breast, massaging it a little, to your tummy, the hollow in between your hips and thighs, and finally, your throbbing pussy. He starts playing with your clit through your shorts. Going slow then fast, sliding his skinny, long fingers to your entrance occasionally, and caressing the edges. His hand play is too good. You already feel ready to cum. Your body heats up and starts shivering. All he does is pull back, look at you and nod as you stare at him, incapable of kissing back. An electric feeling going up your spine as you finally reach your highest and cum in your little panties. He watches you carefully, squinting his eyes, proud of how he’s making you feel and admiring your pretty face too. You slowly come down but Jungkook isn’t finished. He grabs your ass firmly and brings you to the luxury bedroom. Kissing your jaw, and going down to your neck, leaving purple marks on purpose. Wanting to embarrass you with his very own hickeys. It smells good, everything is so clean. The bed’s sheets already in disorder from Jungkook before you arrived. He throws you on the bed and takes off his clothes.

‘Can I?’

He asks while looking at your clothes. You nod and he starts taking them off too. You’re now both naked, with nothing separating you two. He first admires your athletic body; this is the first time he’s ever seen a body like that. Totally his type. You also observe his body, including his tall, thick cock standing on its own. He gets on top of you as you put your legs around his waist, already tired from being drunk and your previous orgasm and take a deep breath.

He asks you if you’re ready, you answer yes and here it is. Everything he wished he never knew.

A tight cunt, wet and ready for his big and curved dick. He slides in, finally getting to feel a warm feeling from you around his cock and he watches your reactions; your nose scrunching, eyes closing firmly, and moans slipping from your wet, swollen lips. You probably taste like him now, he thought. He pushes himself in out your tight walls, squelching noises resonating in the bedroom along the night birds outside. The curtains weren’t close, anybody could see you, and it wouldn’t be surprising that a paparazzi was filming or photographing you two. But you didn’t care, this was a chance, and a chance you’d take legs wide open like the slut you are.

Slapping noises and moans breaking the weirdly comfortable silence. He whines and says your name under his breath, like he’s sort of ashamed of actually getting pleasure. And nothing could prove this more than him starting to get sloppier as he starts moaning louder. Seeing him like this and his dick hitting all the right spots makes you approach your orgasm faster than you thought.

You close your eyes, making sure to capture this actual warm, welcoming and peaceful atmosphere around the room. Then before you can think about it, you’re both reaching your highest, approaching a strong orgasm and finally releasing your semen in the same spot. His cum meeting yours as he stares at you deeply. His cum slides down to your asshole as he slowly pulls out, making sure to not wake you up too soon from this unreal feeling you’re going through right now.

And just when you open your eyes, he falls on top of you and lazily hugs you close. After a moment, he gets up and carries you to the toilet then tells you that you’ll shower together tomorrow. Right now, you’re both too tired and drunk to do pretty much anything. He brings you back to your bed, already asleep, and you drive off in a deep state of sleep while being cuddled in Jungkook’s strong arms.

What will happen when you both wake up tomorrow?

If you liked it, please like or reblog <3

Masterlist

Prove it masterpost

PART II HERE :)

[evermorethecrow]

asking really nicely so you can properly explain? please? pretty please? with a cherry on top? 🛐

SIGHHHHHHHH

fine because you were nice

Every evermore au summarised PROPERLY

1) Yuuko au-

Chuuya gets a kid at 14 and has to deal with it

2) Cryptid au-

Chuuya nakahara died in 1935, came back and is now murderous and evil (and a giant ram sometimes)

3) High school au-

Chuuya nakahara is a 15 year old who wants to be completely erased from memory when he dies, simultaneously he wants to fight with everything to keep living (it doesnt work)

4) Vampire au-

Chuuya was born (wrong) into an aristocratic heavily established vampire family with a lot of not so great traditions. after escaping from them the third time he looses it a little bit and decides to now dedicate his life to murdering them all off, as well as anyone who gets in the way. hes aproached by mori ougai the head of a powerful vampire slaying organisation and joins to help his plans. i also gave him a gun

5) God au-

born as the god of luck and fortune chuuya is stolen by humans and placed in a shrine to bring insane luck to the earth. then shit hits the fan. Now hes stuck as the god of curses (and bad luck) and cant walk around without hell breaking loose

6) Plant shop au-

Chuuya nakahara ends up at a police station at 14 and meets murase (as well as some other cops). Chuuya is going to be given a death sentence but after some less than legal talk with his supervisors murase can remove it completely. the only condition is rehabilitating chuuya back into society, which proves a harder task than thought considering a few extra issues that went down in his past.

7) College(idol) au-

At 15 chuuya nakahara is the lead of a world famous pop idol group. Shifty treatment from his manager makes chuuya decide to quit, however on while preforming his last show something technical goes wrong, the stage explodes, the other members got away safe but chuuya was hospitalised. the world assumes him dead and since he contract is over he decides to keep it that way, content with living his life like a normal person now. until hes in collage and it turns out his new roomate was the biggest fan of him and his old group. chaos ensues

8) Sky casino chuuya au-

After hardly a year in the sheep chuuya is found by fyodor and placed inside the sky casino for safe keeping. now at 16 hes very good at his job and very bad at being tollerant of annoying house guests from the port mafia

9) DOA au-

15 goes wrong, chuuya gets hit a lot harder by the sheep and he ends up at fyodors doorstep (through less than natural circumstances). hes been working for the doa since. Dazai and him re-meet at 22 after hes captured by the port mafia. it goes intrestingly.

10) Scene kid au- a fun au where everyone in the show wears some kind of alt fashion (also theres like the worlds impending and quickeningly near end looming over everyone but that doesnt matter)

11) God+Vampire slayer au-

Chuuya is the (born human) reincarnatation of the god/lord of the wild in an era where vampire-like zombies run wild. he meets a boy who turned into a vampire but somehow remained concious and is now working with him and a shifty doctor to blast gore everywhere try and find a cure

12) Ability swap au

Chuuya has no longer human instead of Tainted but keeps his singularity, dazai has flawless but keeps being anything but. They have eachother. (that could be enough)

13) No Yuuko au-

Yuuko (that kid who chuuya got) never actually MEETS chuuya and instead through a long path of events ends up in the custody of a 20 year old dazai. what could possibly go wrong

14) college au 2 eletric boogaloo-

Chuuya nakahara grows up strict catholic and ends up a single parent in some lousey apartment trying to ballence class and like not killing his child. also his roomate is an annoying bastard who wont shut up

15) Nun Au-

Chuuya's raised in a cult and then joins the mafia.

16) Pokemon au Red-

All the bsd charecters live in the world of pokemon. chuuyas a gym leader and secretly a team rocket executive following his bosses order to prevent some kid finding mew

17) Pokemon au Blue-

Pokemon exist in the bsd verse! Canon except they all have pokemon to fight with and chuuya may or may not be spiritually connected to a lucario

18) Demon ability au-

Instead of tainted sorrow chuuya has an ability reminiscent of kouyou and kyoukas. (hes still got that singularity unfortunatly but this time its in a huge fucking demon?) his role in the pm changes acordingly

19) Mermaid au- chuuya's a mermaid happily enjoying life on land. Dazai is a mermaid hellbent on dragging chuuya back to the ocean

20) Circus au-

when chuuya joins the port mafia hes placed under lippmanns command instead of kouyou's. unfortunatly its not that easy and the port mafia's fronting as a circus. now chuuyas got to learn how to use rope.

21) Elise au-

On his deathbed mori manages to transfer his ability to chuuya. hes now living through elise. it goes as well as you'd expect now the mafias being run by an 11 year old

22) Chuuya stays with the sheep au-

self explanitory, dazai's plan fails and chuuya never ends up leaving the sheep. then 15 rolls around and verlaine disposes of them. chuuya travels around with verlaine until hes eventually rescued by the flags

23) Ada au-

chuuya moves to the ada after stormbringer. he works with yosano in the infirmary.

24) Demon/Coffee shop au-

Ex-fighting ring demon chuuya runs a coffee shop and tries to be evil (hes bad at it)

25) Chuuya is inside my laptop au-

Dazai finds a beat up laptop on the floor one day and being the cheap person he is decides to take it. the only issue is theres someone (something?) living inside it (its chuuya)

26) Dragon au-

Chuuya nakahara is one of the last dragons of his kind. dazai wants a pet dog but gets something more exotic instead

27) Nyan bungou stray nekos au- nyan neko sugar girls but bsd derailed and i dont know how to explain this now

29) Botw au-

chuuya's a gerudo who isnt that good at fitting in, dazai's a zora next in line for the throne whos bad at everything. together they make a wildfire look like a beach holiday

Honarable mentions

Danganrompa au (Only existed so i could execute chuuya)

Vocaloid/Utauloid au (canon except they have vocasynth voices)

Evermore's chuuyai farm and factory

[melodiousmonsters]

Torrt in this au, which is named Igeo Galaggoro Aphastratous, is basically your grandpa but a bit grumpier, or at least I hope for the most part. It's a reliable, steadfast (perhaps a bit too much), and fairly knowing monster. Also changed the hair to what I think is like, stereotypical spikey anime old guy hair, I have at least seen it once so obviously it means its everywhere/j. I love giving the celestials anime hair it's so fun.

Anyway one thing I forgot with Fhobia last month was any biology! So this time I'll do some, also side note for biological things I use the species name and not the individual even though there's only one torrt in this example, and with all the celestials.

Torrt is made to dig, they have fairly strong limbs, big hands, and large claws. They dig for rocks to eat, usually to the bedrock layer. Eating the rocks is just a quick way for it to gain more earth element to build its form. It doesn’t need to do that, but it also enjoys the taste of rocks so it is also for enjoyment.

Torrt’s insides are made of rock, like if you cut off a part of them the inside would just be rock, except for its shell which is hollow. The rocks making up its shell are more metallic than the rest of the stone making it up, allowing it to make its sound. Its eyes are made of marble, and its irises are made of fuchsite. The only organs it has are a kiln, doesn’t have lungs, still breathes to supply its kiln with oxygen though(Kilns need oxygen to function forgot to mention that in the noggin post).

Torrt’s “hair” is actually feathers, long thin feathers in clusters. Its antennae are used for secondary hearing, it has ears, but they aren’t super good at detecting where a sound is coming from. Depending on how much vibration each one is simultaneously experiencing is used to tell where a sound is coming from.

Anyway more explenation on the character of this thing. Igeo is a steadfast, mildly grumpy monster. They are very difficult to convince to change, for better or worse. And if you try, you better be prepared for an argument that might just end in it tucking into its shell and ignoring you. Even when they do change their mind they are very reluctant to fully admit they were wrong in the first place. It’s very frustrating, but luckily it only affects its personal life and relations with others as it’s only in charge of a few important, but constant things, like the aforementioned plate tectonics, and knowing what time it is.

If they say they’re going to do something you can tell they are going to do it. On the other hand they are not afraid to curse you out if they find something you ask them to do not fit for them and why the hell would you ask me to do that you disgrace? Yeah most of the time they are respectful and kind but sometimes they aren’t.

They admire hard work, especially through craftsmanship. They see the value in persisting through something to ultimately be rewarded, which is probably why they are so stuck in their ways. And they also just seem to like things like well crafted furniture or a building. They have helped in some large construction projects in the past, and was the secondary main monster doing construction on starhenge when it was being built.

When it isn’t being convinced it’s wrong, it's an overall pleasant monster. They are patient in most cases and gentle. They like giving life advice that may or may not be useful or accurate, but it’s said with good intentions. They are very interested in the going ons of the monster world and how monsters go about life, which is what they base their advice on, as their life experience being an immortal god isn’t super useful for a mortal creature.

They get along quite well with most of the other celestials, as they all do. It finds [plixie](don't got a name for it yet) and Xolt(galvana) a tad bit annoying when they are being a bit too playful, but overall appreciates the two. Their arguably favorite siblings are Pistin(vhamp), Pool(hornacle), and MehTeh(glaishur). Pistin is the literal embodiment of perfect creation and Igeo is always up to help with anything it wishes to create, just as long as it’s not too complex, which it often happens to be. Pool is kinda annoying sometimes, they purposefully like getting into debates with Igeo over whatever because it finds it funny that Igeo won’t admit it’s wrong. But they also share the appreciation of beautifully made things, maybe a bit too much in Pool's case, and they also enjoy a good fight every now and then. MehTeh is basically Pool but lest argue-y, maybe a bit preachy that Igeo should be a bit more open to change, but Igeo likes their calm nature and similar reliability.

And here's the slightly outdated sheet of what this old guy looks like! it's already slightly outdated in terms of colors and I kinda forgot the dewclaws on the feet, but it works.

[gabyun]

hii if you’re taking requests maybe a roller rink date with enhypen? (but like each member individually) and readers really good at skating😸

yes this is such a cute idea !! i actually just went rollerskating a few days ago so i think its funny how my first request is abt this, (btw tysm for requesting hehe) and i shall try my best to deliever.

⋆ ˚｡⋆ ୨୧ how i imagine roller rink dates would go w enhypen

a/n : i hope it doesnt seem too repetitive, ive never even attempted an ot7 so i hope it came out well! (also sorry jungwons is so long wtf)

𐙚 - l.heeseung

roller skating is one of your favourite activities, but heeseung has always been a bit avoidant about it. you’ve mentioned it to him numerous times, but he always brushes it off saying he has been before but you honestly have started to doubt it as hes declined the idea, offering up something else. heeseung is always the kind of guy who likes to ‘show off’ toward you and he always wants to seem cool. so, after a really long time of asking over and over again, he finally agrees. you both arrive to the rink, and pay the money and ask for your shoe sizes. the employee hands you the roller skates, and you sit down and begin tying them up. you look over at him, extremely excited to skate with him after ages. you notice a very worried aura on him, and you ask "are you sure you’ve been roller skating before?" his head turns to you. "uhm, well-" "heeseung its okay if you havent, i can always teach you" he sighs and nods. "im sorry i made you think i know how to skate". you tell him that its okay and you think itll be a fun idea to teach him. you guys get on the rink, and your holding him up and keeping him steady. once you guys start going, (slowly, obviously) you go infront of him holding both of his hands while he steadies himself. he genuinely looks like a baby deer. you giggle, thinking that hes the cutest thing ever. (you guys obviously get icecream after to celebrate hees big accomplishment)

𐙚 - p.jay

its a late afternoon and you guys are laying on the couch together. "hey, y/n?" jay begins. "mm? whats up?" you look over at him. he turns his phone towards you, showing you a new roller skating arena that had opened the previous week. "do you wanna go tonight? theyre open until 11." you grab his arm excitedly. "do i wanna go!?! do i wanna go?!? hell yes i do, you should know its one of my favourite things!" you shoot up from your laying position, looking at him like a puppy. "yeah, thats why i asked babe." he says with a smile. you guys get ready and leave for the roller date. jay has gone roller skating before, but hes not the absolute greatest. he has wiped out a few times, falling straight on his butt. you guys arrive and put your shoes into these little cubbies and change into your roller skates. you get up, going back and forth infront of the seats whilst waiting for jay to finish up tying the laces. you notice hes done, and he gets up, slightly wobbly. you grab onto his hand leading him onto the rink. he regains his 'roller skating abilities' and you guys do laps around while holding hands.

𐙚 - s.jaeyun

jake has known about the fact that you enjoy roller skating, but you haven't talked much about it. so, one day he asked if you wanted to go roller skating for a date and you naturally complied. you were in his car, on the way to the roller rink. "im amazing at skating y/n." he brags. "oh really? im excited to see you skate then." you giggle. a couple more minutes pass and you arrive. the place is pretty huge. you guys are putting your skates on simultaneously and you’re ready to go. he stands in front of you, prepared to hold you up and guide you, but to his surprise you get up perfectly fine. so, you guys hold hands whilst leaving the roller skates exchange area thing, and get onto the real rink. "woah, y/n. you’re better then i thought you’d be." "yeah?" you replied, but you had a slight challenging tone in your voice. you let go of his hand, going in front of him and skating backwards, and doing a bunch of cool tricks. you were also much faster then him. "y/n?!?! why’d you never tell me you could skate so good." he said, extremely impressed but also disappointed. "i wanted to impress you, and plus i never really had the chance to show you my awesome skills." you make your way back beside him. "i get it, but i want you to tell me everything about you!" he perked his head up whilst saying that. "yes jake, of course." you pecked him on his cheek.

𐙚 - p.sunghoon

you’re quite aware that sunghoon has been competitively ice skating, so you wondered if he would be just as good at roller blading as you would be. you two arrived at the rink, putting the skates on. sunghoon and you whizzed around the roller rink, laughter bubbling between you both. you teased, "watch out, sunghoon! i might lap you!" sunghoon grinned, playfully stumbling, "you're just showing off now." you grabbed his hands, guiding him through twists and turns. "come on, ex-figure skater, keep up!" sunghoon chuckled, "i'm more of a blades guy, but i'll try my best." you guys raced, and eventually, sunghoon spun you into a dazzling twirl. breathless, you guys exchanged a look, and sunghoon teased, "not bad for a ‘starter’, huh?" you both sat down, worn out. "well, y/n. our next date is definitely gonna be ice skating. now i need to show off to you." you giggled, "whatever you say hoon."

𐙚 - k.sunoo

you and sunoo loved going on little dates or hangouts. you guys would much rather be out doing something, rather then laying in bed (which you guys still loved doing.) so, you guys ended up at the relatively new roller rink place. you payed the employee and they handed you the roller skates. as you and him entered, sunoo looked a bit unsure in his skates. you, the experienced skater, reassured him, "just follow my lead, sunoo!" you guys navigated the rink, sunoo clinging to your hand for stability. "i feel like a baby giraffe on wheels," he admitted, earning a giggle. you grinned, "you'll get the hang of it!" after a few wobbly rounds, sunoo found his rhythm, and soon, you guys were twirling and laughing together. sunoo pulled off a clumsy spin, and Y/N cheered, "see! look how good you’ve become!" afterwards, you guys went to the local diner and had your favourite drinks. it became a memory you and him always looked back on.

𐙚 - y.jungwon

you were sitting at home, bored out of your mind. you heard the consistent buzzing of your phone from beside you, and you grabbed it. it said that "wonnie💗" is calling, so you immediately picked up. "hii won!" you said. "hi y/nnie, do you wanna go out tonight?" "yeah of course i do, i love hanging out with you." "okay okay, ill be there soon." he hung up, and you excitedly got up to begin getting ready. you were curious as to where you guys were going. you arrived to the place, and it had bright neon lights saying "roller skating arena" and your eyes immediately lit up. "I thought it would be fun!" jungwon smiled at you, eyes crinkling. you both entered, and put on the skates and some other equipment. as you both circled the rink, jungwon's skating skills proved a bit unsteady, but his enthusiasm was infectious. you, the experienced skater, couldn't help but tease, "you've got that 'deer on ice' vibe, jungwon." he chuckled, "yeah, well, it's a work in progress." your guys laughter echoed as you glided side by side, the rhythmic hum of wheels beneath you creating a soundtrack to your guys joy. you decided to show off a few spins, gracefully twirling around. jungwon's eyes widened, "okay, that's impressive. teach me your secrets!" he whined. as you tried to guide him through a spin, jungwon's legs wobbled, and he almost took a tumble. your quick reflexes kicked in, and you steadied him with a grin, "you should be glad i was beside you" you joke. he blushed and smiled his dimples peaking through, "maybe i need more practice." but practice didn't matter in that moment as you guys continued, sharing laughter, playful banter, and the genuine joy of navigating the twists and turns of a roller rink and a budding romance together.

𐙚 - n.riki

you and niki were at an amusement park and had gone on a bunch of different rides. you clung onto his arm whilst you guys walked around the rest of the park. you guys turned a different way, into a section of the park you both were unfamiliar with. a decently large place with the words "roller skating" on it was right infront of you guys. you and niki, in sync turned to look directly at each other, slowly smiling. so, before you knew it you were both helping each other put knee pads on. niki had a little bit of experience, but he wasnt entirely amazing at it. so, you guys were giggling looking at each other, slowly gaining balance and making your way toward the rink. you spun around him in a circle, showing off your skills "y/n what the hell thats so cool?! i wanna try!!" so, he begins trying to spin in little circles and its going well and you’re cheering him on, until he completely lost balance toppling over you. you both are groaning in pain, but look at each other for a few seconds and begin uncontrollable laughing. it was a cute moment you guys shared. your ass really hurt afterwards though so you guys took a quick break before continuing.