#This is the only place I will vent about it

[sysmedsaresexist]

I spoke with Colin Ross again.

The original post, for those who missed it.

This is going to be really disjointed and rough. I've been put in a really weird position and I want to just... talk about it. This is okay to reblog, I'm sure there's pro/endos that have been waiting for this. Unfortunately, it's going to be attached to a vent.

Sadly, talking to him brought up a lot of bad feelings. I'm still so sad to see so many people turn on me. I'm disappointed that there was so much pushback. I'm disgusted by people's hypocrisy.

People wanted to know why I wasn't posting my side of the emails to Colin Ross, they tried to say he didn't believe those things anymore.

So I emailed him again, recapping our previous conversations, and asking him if he still believed in non traumagenic plurality.

And he responded that he does.

I thought I could post it, and that would be the end of it. Proving we had spoken before, confirming the topics discussed. But in my email to him, I shared what I've been doing since I last spoke with him, what prompted me to reach out to him again. The same thing that stopped me from posting my side of the emails originally. I wasn't entirely honest with him, either. I don't think I would have gotten a response if I had talked about tumblr.

And I'm simultaneously so excited and so scared.

This is a man that, in a very vague sense, formed a mentor/professional relationship with me. Our interaction overall was brief, but it was exciting to discuss his work with him, ask him questions that had been bothering me-- I told him about myself, my educational and work background. I used my real email and name. My real school. He's Canadian, we talked about it. I shared real details of my life, and while it wasn't necessarily in confidence, I don't think he would appreciate knowing that I've shared his personal thoughts and emails on tumblr, of all places. I'm not lying or hiding anything in my side of the conversation.

I'm scared.

I'm terrified to post anything that could be linked to me. Even posting this, I'm like, "can people like... reverse edit my picture and get my email?" I genuinely don't know.

I worry about posting the full screenshots with his email, knowing people won't believe me if I don't, but not wanting to have these ridiculously immature people in his inbox. I have encouraged people since day one to find his email themselves and reach out. I figure that the only people who would put in that work are the people who genuinely want to learn.

But then I realized that there are people that could ruin the relationship I made with him.

People that could make it so that I can never contact him in this way again.

People could use this to find me, if they get Colin Ross talking. (The rational part of my brain says he's smart enough not to give someone else my name, but goddamn, some of you people are actually dangerous)

There are people that want to do that to me. People that hate that I even brought a professional into this conversation. And I get it. I sat on the original conversation for almost three years, remember?

It's really scary to admit you're wrong, that you've been close-minded and hardheaded. It's scary to confront your bias and actions.

But having him respond to me... I feel so lucky? Not that Colin Ross is a saint, but how often do you get to meet someone like him? How often do you have a chance to take advantage of a professional contact that seems willing and happy to have these kinds of conversations with you? Three years later and he remembered me. He took the time to answer me, again.

I don't want to fuck that up.

So I thought about reaching out to certain people, showing them the entire set of emails without any blockout and having them vouch for the authenticity.

Then I realized that I wouldn't trust any of you anti endogenic systems with any of my information after how you've all behaved.

And I realized that none of you are going to change your minds, no matter what I show you, and I'd rather to maintain my professional relationships than put any more effort into any of you.

And I know if I wait too long to post this, people will call it fake, so I either need to go ahead and make this post or just kind of let it disappear into obscurity.

It's so important, though.

Isn't it?

I can't tell anymore.

[hockeyrat]

Tate Langdon NSFW Alphabet,

(A/N! This is my first written smut!!! I haven’t yet finished Murder House and I have really bad focus on tv shows so I really hope this is good enough! The divider (flowers and leaves is from @/mietteone) I’ll try and make this without any gender talk!)

A= Aftercare (what they’re like after the act)

He’s very cuddly after a round of sex, even clingier if the two of you go for longer than a round. He can’t find himself letting go of you at all. He’ll probably fall asleep first btw.

Yet some days he’s not as happy has the others, he’ll distance himself from you after sex for a few minutes, lay by himself and stare at the wall before he finally cuddles up to you, only if he can be the little spoon though. Maybe he’ll start venting or crying, but most the time it ends in cuddles and cockwarming if he’s upset.

B= Body part (favorite body part themself and their lover)

He definitely prefers his hands or his mouth, Tate likes holding onto you while fucking, even if it’s not during sex he loves holding you. Running his hand up and down your thigh or gently grazing your neck and the hickeys he left the night before.

His mouth because well, he can give you all the hickeys and kisses in the world! Marking you is his favorite past time, Tate trails kisses down from your chin all the way to between your legs where he can give you the most sloppy oral ever.

Tate can’t pick and choose parts of your body, all of it is the most perfect thing he’s ever seen. But he prefers your face, the way you express your love and watching you talk or whimper under him is the best! Really likes your hair aswell, he can tug and play with it all he wants.

C= Cum (anything that has to do with it)

Inside. He doesn’t care about anything….all he wants is to just stay inside of you a little bit longer…. Talks about breeding you even if he wouldn’t consider a baby at all. (Unless it’s the antichrists :3)

He supposes that he’ll come on your stomach, second favorite place ever, pulling out and letting it spill all over your smooth skin. It gets him going for a second round.

D= Dirty secret (Pretty self explanatory)

First day you moved in, he was already stalking you, watching everything you did even if it was in a sexual way, he also took a habit of stealing your underwear and shirts…just so he could feel closer to you.

E= Experience (do they know what they’re doing)

Not really, no, he didn’t have much of a sex life when he was alive. All he really had was porn and his imagination.

F= Favorite position

Simple missionary is the best, he can watch your face contort into all the different little emotions you have to show while you whimper out his name and beg him to go faster. It’s also super easy to kiss you when you’re facing him.

Back shots when he’s angry, shoving you into the mattress and almost growling into your ear, it’s crazy how fast he can go from loving and caring to nearly suffocating you in the pillows. He’s still gonna leave marks all over your back.

G= Goofy (how serious are they)

Tate likes to crack a few jokes, jokes about being dead stuff like “ever been fucked this good by a ghost?”. Little comments like that or a knock knock joke if he’s really in a good mood.

Yet, like I’ve stated before, when he’s upset, he doesn’t crack jokes, he barely even talks unless he’s telling you how good you’re doing.

H= Hair (grooming habits)

He’s always been a smooth person, he likes shaving, it’s uncomfortable with hair in places like that. Occasionally he’ll have a bit of a carpet but it’s never more than a little chunk of it.

I= Intimacy (in the moment romantic or dirty)

He tries to be romantic, maybe some flower petals scattered along the halls to your bedroom. Or a lit candle sitting on your bedside table, you have no idea where it came from btw.

He praises a lot, telling you how good you’re doing and how pretty you are. He needs to make sure you understand how much he loves you.

J= Jack off (do they masturbate and how often)

Before he met you (well before he actually started talking to you) he was a compulsive masturbater. Any moment he was stressed or when he could catch a glimpse of you changing, he had his jeans down to his knees in a second.

Yet now that you two are dating, he doesn’t jerk it as much, only when you’re at school and can’t find himself waiting for longer than an hour. He knows you’re always up for a round or two if he needs some help.

K= Kink (well, kinks!)

Choking, Praise, occasional degration, (definitely a mommy kink. He also really wants to fuck you in the latex suit.)

He likes to be choked more than choking you. Scared that he’ll possibly hurt you or even kill you if he in a bad mood. So he prefers being chocked when he’s on the bottom.

Praise goes both ways, if you praise him, he’ll cum immediately after whimpering and begging for “momma’s help”. Tate loves praising you, I’ve stated before that he needs to make sure you understand how pretty you are.

Degrades you when in a bad mood, calling you a whore, slut, etc. Sometimes he goes a little far, and he’ll make up for it with the best cuddles and aftercare ever.

Mommy kink, Only really when he’s on the bottom or in an upset mood. With how much of a bad experience he has with his mom, he finds a tiny bit of comfort in calling you his momma in bed.

L= Location (where they like to get it on)

the bed is always a number one place. It’s comfortable and easy for cuddles right after the deed has been done.

Occasionally, he’ll fuck you over a kitchen counter if your family isn’t home, These are typically the days he’s not in a good enough mood to wait.

Infront of a mirror. Pretty self explanatory but he doesn’t do it often, sometimes he really really needs a confidence fix so he fucks you infront of the mirror and degrades the hell out of you.

M= Motivation (things that makes them tick/turn ons)

Just you in general gives him the worst hard on imaginable. But if you’re wearing shorts or a skirt, he really can’t keep his hands off of you.

Making out and giving him hickeys will also make him horny. He enjoys all the kisses and sloppiness of pre-sex kissing.

N= No (turnoffs or absolutely won’t do)

Refuses to ever share you, nothing like threesomes or cucking or letting someone else watch. He gets jealous really quick, he needs you all to himself.

Bodily fluids that aren’t blood/spit/cum. It’s gross, Tate gets disgusted at the mention of it.

Not a huge fan of role plays. Can’t really elaborate on this one but he likes being Tate and you being….well you.

O= Oral (receiving or giving and how skillful they are)

Really good at giving you head, it’s surprising since he never had much experience but he finds himself giving really sloppy and really amazing head.

Loves when you suck him off, he’ll act like he hates it and that he’s some tough guy but the moment your lips wrap around his dick. He’s whimpering and moaning and begging for more, he’s very loud.

P= Pace (how fast they are and how long they last in bed)

I explain this a bit more in Q. But normally he prefers slow and sensual sex. Taking all the time he needs to please you and himself, he can normally last well past your orgasm. But for rounds, he can last about 2 and a half before he starts unraveling.

He can get rough, lasting for about 3-4 rounds with the fastest pace ever imaginable, I mean he’s dead, his energy levels are really off the charts. He can last a good 2 hours without cumming but when he does, it’s a lot.

Q= Quickie (do they prefer fast and hard)

Some days, yes, and some days, no. Sometimes he just needs a little relief and a quick round of sex. On those days, he’ll really rock your shit and go right back to wandering around the house and doing his ghostly things.

If he’s upset or really needs you, he prefers to take it slow, being able to have you under him for as long as possible. He only finds himself speeding up if you want him too, but you have to beg him first.

R= Risk (do they like to try new things)

Yeah, definitely into trying some new kinky things. Like if you asked to tie him up or asking to be tied up. He’ll try it, anything to make you happy, oh it’s an added bonus if you unlock some deep secret kink inside of him.

S= Stamina (how many times they can go and how long each round lasts)

typically, Tate can last 2 rounds, he finds himself getting overstimulated too quickly if he goes on for too long and can’t pleasure you anymore.

If it’s one of those days, 3 or 4, he just needs to get all the energy out. He’ll take small breaks in between if you need them but doesn’t find himself taking breaks.

T= Toys (do they use sex toys on themselves or their lover)

He doesn’t like them but he won’t be pissed off if you own a vibrator or dildo. He understands that he’s not always there when you’re in the mood but he can show you how much better he is then those stupid pieces of silicon.

Not much of a toy user, I mean he won’t start complaining if you use a vibrator on him or something to punish him

U= Unfair (do they tease or do they enjoy being teased)

Typically, no, but ifs he’s mad. Yeah, he’ll spend at least an hour teasing you and pushing you to the edge. He’ll fuck you then give you head and repeat the cycle until you’re basically crying.

Tate enjoys being teased more than he’ll admit. At first he’ll laugh it off and say he can handle it like a man, but after about 2 minutes. He’ll be underneath you, crying and begging (just like how teases you!). He can’t really handle what he dishes out, but he really does enjoy it.

V= Volume (are they loud, what sounds, and do they talk)

The first time, he tried to stay quiet, felt embarrassed at how loud he was. He was basically screaming while jerking off so he didn’t want to make a noise while having sex.

Until he let a few moans slip and you loved it. You told him that the more he moaned, the better. So he never really held back unless your family was awake, he’s really loud. Whimpering, moaning and groaning, all the noises that a man could make, Tate can make them.

W= Wild card (random sincannon of any sort)

As I briefly stated in K, Tate really really wants to fuck you in the latex suit. He will never admit unless you say something first but that’s all he really wants.

X= X-ray (what’s down below in dem pants)

6.5 inches when he’s soft and about 7 when he’s painfully hard.

Y= Yearning (sexdrive level)

Pretty high, he gets horny easily and can’t really get rid of his hard ons as easily. It’s a good thing since he knows you’re always up for a quick round or two.

He’s also pretty patient, if you tell him to wait an hour so you can do homework. He’ll wait (after a few minutes of whining and complaining). He can wait but it’s not his favorite.

Z= Zzzz (do they sleep after if so how quickly after)

He tries to stay awake longer than you so he can lull you to sleep or make you feel more comfortable for the last moments of the night but he normally falls asleep first. Especially if it’s been a rough day for him.

[lets-try-some-writing]

Gotta ask about A Vision of Past and Future because I love some good Solus/Fallen angst.

(For this)

I freaking love A Vision of Past and Future. Honestly I am distraught at the lack of Solus/Megatronus stuff, so I opted to fix that. Anyway, this fic is technically part of a series, but the way it is written means it can stand alone. I do most of the writing, but my co-author helps a great deal with planning. The whole focus is on the first ever family formed on Cybertron. That family happens to be the trio that is Solus, Megatronus Prime, and the Thirteenth Prime.

Most of the story follows the development of their family unit and a few other things such as the roots of written language and other small inventions made by this family that continued into the future. It explores Solus and Megatronus discovering what it is to love while Thirteen worms his way into their lives as an apprentice and eventually comes to be like a son to them. But of course, history is history and in the end, this fic will show what exactly led to the fall of this first ever family unit and the chaos of that broken connection.

(I really need to stop making Alpha Trion be kinda evil)

Anyway, here is a snippet from a few chapters ahead.

━━━━━━ ⊙ ❖ ⊙ ━━━━━━━━━━━━

"Thirteen, what are you doing?" Solus stood up from her chair in concern as the last of the Primes remained firmly in place. He stood firmly before the gathered assembly of Primes, his armor shifting to accommodate him as he reached up to touch his faux vocalizer.

"Solus, be seated. I believe the youngest of our number has something to say." Prima gestured for Solus to settle down and Megatronus clutched the edge of his seat in concern. This was highly unusual. Thirteen had only been given his faux vocalizer a few cycles ago. What could he possibly have to say to all the Primes?

"But-" Solus began before Megatronus reached over and gently grasped her servo. He shook his helm and pulled her slowly into her seat to watch as Thirteen steeled himself. The youngest of the Primes seemed to vent deeply, the glowing orbs that served as his optics flashing white as he prepared. His faux vocalizer spit static as he focused on it. Then, after a moment of tense silence, Megatronus heard his ward speak his name for the very first time.

"I am Optimus Prime, and no longer shall I remain voiceless."

[transmascaraa]

!400 follower special!

cuddling. (collab with @mariaace !!)

characters: the DOA and some members of the ADA x gn!reader

author's note: HIIII so decided to do a collab for this 400 special(this is also maria's 100 special) whereas i'll make cuddling hcs for the doa and the ada, whilst you can find the hcs for the pm and the hunting dogs on her blog😋 i hope you like it either way<3 (THANK YOU SO FUCKING MUCH FOR 400 BTW I CAN'T THANK YOU GUYS ENOUGH)

☆ The DOA

Bram •

-so first of all he would be very nice to cuddle with.

-like he's just the perfect someone to cuddle, plus, it's usually very peaceful.

-you'd be reading a book or something while he would either read it with you, or be fast asleep.

-ofc, it might take some time to convince him to cuddle with you, but after he accepts, there's no turning back, you will be too comfortable.

-another random hc is that he LOVES it when YOU braid his hair or just play with it while you're hugging eachother close cuz his hair is perfect for that.(he's not gonna show it too much tho)

-and also definitely loves complaining to you while cuddling.

-AND it's definitely an everyday thing.

-you're lucky you got him<3

LIVE laugh love bram

Fyodor •

-uhhhh so how do i explain his part........

-once you get the chance to cuddle him, you'll definitely feel comfortable, sure.

-but i'm pretty sure anemia makes your hands ice cold since it's the lack of iron in question.

-it might take a bit for you go get to that comfy state tho BECAUSE of his cold hands

-only if you have a problem with them ofc

-otherwise it may not be that bad!

-but first and foremost the only thing he would probably allow you to do while cuddling him was to read a book.

-with him, or without him, it doesn't matter. just read one.

-he'll deny it, but he finds it adorable when you mumble the words as you read.

it's just a calming experience as a whole

Nikolai •

-the silly little clown guy is a menace when it comes to cuddling(he's a menace even when he's not cuddling w you)

-if you want to do ANYTHING other than keep all of your attention on him, that won't be possible.

-want to read a book? no, he's already taken it away from you and closed it.

-want to scroll on your phone? no, he's already turned it off.

-want to sleep in peace? no, he's ranting about random things which you have no idea what they are in the first place.

-when he does manage to fall asleep, don't just go to sleep immediately, take a bit of time to look at the difference between awake and asleep nikolai.

-one is hyperactive, clingy, sometimes very annoying, but the other one is calm and at peace.

he loves it when you (un)braid his hair for him btw and/or play with it

Sigma •

-he's truly adorable.

-when you ask him the question to cuddle at first, he may be a bit flustered, but it will pass soon and then you'll just kind of already be cuddling

-again, a really calming experience.

-you can do anything like that while cuddling him, you just feel so safe and happy with him holding you so close like that.

-had a good day? rant to him about it and he'll listen.

-had a bad day? vent to him and he'll do his best to comfort you.

-you're the only person who's allowed to touch his hair, and play with it as well ofc

-he wants you to be happy and he's glad you chose him the first place^^

boyfriend material

✯ The ADA

Dazai •

-okayyyy so where do i start

-he loves cuddling you

-in fact, he ADORES it.

-so as soon as he gets the chance to cuddle you, he's not leaving you alone

-you might even need to go somewhere urgently but he won't let you

-he's gonna ramble to you about random things hoping you forget about wherever you're supposed to go to

-he kinda fails but you still don't show up to work on time(sometimes not at all)

-that's just dazai so you'll have to get used to it

-or like maybe think of a new way to distract him from you(it's not gonna work)

good luck is all i can say

Kunikida •

-hmmm

-hard to explain maybe??

-you see, basically, he likes to cuddle you cuz ofc he's your bf/husband and all

-but you rarely get to cuddle him ar all

-either he has some random work he has to do

-or he just won't admit that he WANTS to cuddle you so you'll end up not cuddling at all

-on the other hand, when you DO get to cuddle, it's a relaxing experience for him

-probably for you too

-it would be peaceful because either he's so flustered to talk or the two of you are just too much at peace in that moment

-it's really calming tho

he'll sometimes mumble random math teacher phrases while he's sleeping

Ranpo •

-10/10.

-is gonna cuddle you whenever he can and whenever you want to since he's up for it ALWAYS

-hugging you really tight definitely throughout the whole thing

-most of the time he's gonna bring some sweets/candy with himself so you usually end up eating anything and everything sweet you have in your house when cuddling him

-he's gonna hum lullabies to you if it helps you fall asleep faster<3

-WILL play with you hair and he likes it when you play with his in return

-the cuddling experience will be very fun and interesting, usually full of laughs^^

-basically it's never boring with him

i totally recommend

Yosano •

-it's great when you get the chance

-i mean what else could you expect from such a beautiful and strong woman

-she'd be really sweet towards you tho even tho it's rare, it doesn't mean it doesn't happen AT ALL, it's just rare

-the cuddling in general isn't that rare, half of the nights you fall asleep it's while cuddling her, but yeah

-it's a really enjoyable experience and it's usually really peaceful

-you'd be doing your thing, she'd be doing her thing, but you guys will still be close to eachother

-whoever falls asleep last gets to admire the other one's sleeping face until they fall asleep as well

js don't get on her nerves ig lmao

~~~~~

OKAY it's done!!

i honestly really liked doing this collab as it's my first one🤷‍♂️

THANK YOU FOR 400 FOLLOWERS OVERALL(you better congratulate maria on 100 followers as well‼️)

| @mariaace <3

[friesian]

my father is dead and i couldn't be happier.

the following is a sort of. reconciliation/vent post since i just got the news a few hours ago that my father died, and i finally feel like i can sort of talk about everything that happened to me as a child. for the first time. without the threat of potential violence. so. tw for neglect, abuse, parental death and honestly just. a lot. if you don't like the most stereotypical 'bad dad' shit, don't read this post.

my father was a cruel man. it was only until recently i was informed that my father used to actually shake me as a baby, no more than a few days old. when i was a few months old, he used to do the same to watch my 'funny reactions' and had to be actively reprimanded by aunt and mother in order to get him to stop lest i die a very sudden death.

when i was a little kid, my father i guess got this idea in his head that i was a little innocent flower and that if anything touched me, that'd be it. i'd be sullied. i'd be dirtied. somehow 'impure'. mind you, my father wasn't a religious man. really, honestly, the opposite. i wasn't allowed to talk about religion or god, explore spirituality, really have 'faith'. this would earn me hostile looks, a loud scolding, or called stupid. this also might displace onto my mom, who received it much worse than me.

when i was 7, my father made the move to go somewhere out into the deep west virginia mountains where i would never be in danger. except by him. we moved to a place where the closest store was 45 minutes by car, getting home from school was 35 minutes-- not counting school bus routes, that was up to 2-3 hours-- and there was not a single neighbor that could see the house nor talk to us. we were alone. for good. for over 11 years of my life i was alone in a house with a man who grew actively more and more hostile to being in that house. as i aged, tried to be a teenager, explore my gender, sexuality, ect. it was all shut down. my computer-- my only lifeline-- was bugged with spyware that allowed him to look at my screen and take control of anything i was doing. a vivid memory of mine is when i used to write fanfiction of innocent teenager things. kissing, holding hands, professions of love, the usual-- nothing explicit. at some point i was caught and had my computer thrown and i was screamed it. i could only run to my room and cry, and hope i wasn't chased. this left me with no sense of privacy, as any computer or technology i ever got passed through him, and as he was a engineer for networking, most things were bugged by him first as much as i tried to remove them. my mom suffered similarly to i, both of us being called slurs and having things thrown at us for existing in his radius. we walked on eggshells. we had no room to breathe. if we weren't in his general space, we were yelled at for avoiding him. if we were actually there, we were yelled at for laughing or even breathing too loud. there was no right answer. my friends never wanted to visit because of him, or he would often get mad at their parents for being 'flakes' or 'untimely', leading for me to be berated about my choice of friend. i wasn't allowed to go out unless it was with 'other girls', and i didn't have many friends to begin with due to the many social problems i faced due to his neglect. i grew up in that house, with many other issues i can't even begin to list, but i grew up and left as soon as i could, and didn't really do much. mostly just coasted by after dropping out of college that he pressured me to be in, lest i end up homeless. my mom divorced him shortly after i left due to being threatened with a gun, and at that point i was pretty sure he was officially off the deep end. this is sort of my 'getting it off my chest' moment as i was never able to speak out about what i faced in any regard due to him consistently monitoring my online presence. for all i know, he could've known about this blog-- choosing to hold onto it for some sort of legal proceeding as he had done to my mother. he tracked her car, recorded her calls, did everything he could to fuck her over. his father did something similar to him back in the 90s, and i needed to avoid it at all costs.

he never got the chance now. i never felt like i had a father, more like an angry dragon that guarded a tower with someone who didn't wanna be there. some sort of 'king' that transformed into a dragon, i suppose. but, i remember relating a lot to the imagery of people trapped in towers by beasts. i wanted to make a comic about it at one point. 11 years of solidarity does a lot to a motherfucker.

to this hour, i haven't shed a tear. i cheered and celebrated, put on my mask as i'm talking to the funeral home people, family, his friends, whatever it is. i've just been blaise and calm. i have to go back to my 'tower' this weekend and see it for the first time in years, now with the memory of my father dead seeped in those walls.

it's been a relief i didn't know i needed, but that house haunts me with the horrors that went on in it. i guess this is sort of my testimony to his life. i refuse to have a funeral. i refuse to have a memorial. he's being cremated and disposed of as soon as i can. i can already tell what little remains of his side of the family has an issue with it, but i don't care. they didn't live the life me and my mom had, and they never will now. for what it's worth, somehow, even though i was forged in fires that i don't think any man should go through-- it made me a more hardened and aware person. you get time to think when you're alone for 11 years. a lot of time to see emotions, patterns, understand, and just pick things apart. he never knew me, elf, he knew my dead name. and i'm thankful for that. i came out a good man all things considered, i have my flaws and issues, but who doesn't. but at least i never was like him. here's to getting out of the tower.

[istalker204]

I am not kenough

[tesco-finest-aromantics]

what's the government's response to the awful waiting times to access medical transition? make it harder for people to get referred in the first place. if we can gatekeep a bunch of trans people from ever getting referred in the first place, the waiting lists will be shorter! genius! /s

[adrift-in-thyme]

Note to self: never again let it slip to an irl person that I write whump

[pierregaslays]

:(

[dollopheadsandclotpoles]

I feel like people in my city only talk about the things that are wrong with it. I keep trying to focus on the positives but it gets so hard. Like people just wanna talk about the ways it’s all falling to shit and then there’s just this overwhelming hopelessness about the future. I’m so fucking tired of it. I’m so tired of feeling like things are only going to get worse and there’s no hope to change

[bonefall]

Did you man beam Drizzle? If so, why not just pair up Rustle with Cranberry instead? I get for the amazing ship name but I'm curious about the choice /gen

I totally forgot Drizzle's original gender, but also, I really don't want to overthink it. I'm so tired of overthinking it. I wanted CranberryDrizzle funny ship name and it was getting exhausting to plan out where every pairing in several hundred cats would be getting their kits from

Rustle is going to die at some point after having two QR kittens, and Cranberrydrizzle is going to have 2 important litters (Sunstrike and Emberfoot in the first, Fernstripe in the second). I have done an exhausting amount of work (weeks of planning and hours of work at a time, scouring the wiki and facebook screenshots, redrawing tangles, reading through suggestions, writing out full posts of changes and creating new groups with their own histories) untangling broken fragments of family trees and like... I'm tired. No more shuffling. I deserve Funny Ship Name. is this too much to ask

Boy Drizzle is just the easiest answer. I'd like for Drizzle to just be transfem but I was also told to avoid cats being trans just to have kits, which is ALSO frustrating me at this point, I don't like this weight of "perfect representation" that's being put on me when I'M not even perfect representation as a living human queer.

Do I let Drizzle be transfem and "break a rule," or change them to a boy and "lose" a lesbian pairing? It feels gross to me to have fallen into a mindset where I'm treating queer relationships like quotas or rigid rulesets

I feel like if I 'get something wrong' (like forget the gender of a Missing Kit or a side character, or handwave 'where did these kits come from' with 'trans/queen's rights' without considering a real secret surrogate) I'm going to get smacked upside the head and be forced to hyperfocus on one small part of a massive project when I already have a million other things to work on.

So unfortunately the most honest answer I can probably give is that im tired. I'm really tired. Overthinking minor details before making every single tumblr post is draining me. I forgot the missing kit's original author-assigned gender and didn't scroll to the bottom of Onestar's wiki page to check it before posting. I like the ship name. Cranberrysplash somehow gets pregnant twice, but I was told to avoid trans bioparents, yet doing that is making things even harder after I had to do weeks of work to make a good tree in the first place

I'll figure out Drizzlefall's gender when they become relevant in some context

[lynaferns]

*big sigh* I wish I was undisturbed by sexual content.

(Edit: ok to reblog now if you feel it relatable or just want to save the post. I was feeling insecure earlier but I'm better now)

I'm not talking about light suggestive stuff like a kiss or cuddles, I mean straight up sex even when *that* part it's censored. I don't mind naked or semi naked bodies but sexual acts it's what I can't stand.

One would think that getting exposed to it would make you develop some tolerance, but no.

I thought if I just scrolled past it to get to the stuff I actually want to see it wouldn't bother me, but it does.

I already have filtered some tags that I think are mostly used but sometimes someone forgets to add the tags or uses tags that I don't have filtered or what I think is the worst, uses the wrong tags.

It sucks because it's no one's fault but I always have to get jumpscared by an image I don't want to see, and it sucks that just because of that I get my mood ruined. It's so stupid. The way I get so uncomfortable by this just- ugh.

I run from the sexual artwork, but the robots with penises are faster.

[pacing-er]

Two of my coworkers who know that I am Jewish have been vocally anti-israel on their social media. It's one thing to be pro-palestine and to feel empathy for Palestinians, but another thing entirely is to contribute to the demonization of Israelis. Hate the government and the military if you want, but do not generalize and contribute to the spread of misinformation about an entire country of people. I had hung out with them hoping for us to become friends, but I can't help but feel unsafe near them now.

My sister let it slip while we were with them that our relative (who was a human rights activist) had a hand in the founding of the state of Israel, and they excused themselves for a moment to talk privately with each other. My blood relation to this man is something that I have taken pride in, he was a good man. He was a Holocaust survivor who lost his family to the camps and he helped found the country for the sake of people like him. I don't want to disrespect his memory by pretending he didn't exist and that he was not family. These coworkers did not say anything to me directly about it, but I know without a doubt that the second they heard those words that they assumed the absolute worst of him and of my family. It makes me feel so hopeless and scared. I'm the only Jewish person in my workplace, consisting of 100s of staff. The handful of people that I am closest with there are young, left-leaning, and very online. I want to hope that they haven't been caught up in this spread of misinformation and hatred, but I know that that is unlikely. It makes me feel sick and afraid that based on my background and my family that people who I consider my friends might turn on me and make me and my family into monsters for things that we have never done.

[tricksterlatte]

Anyone else think short form social media based on algorithms designed to promote topics that create more engagement instead of more joy, the idea of fast fashion but conveyed through social media, and the fact you can monetize suffering and outrage better than ever has largely resulted in the death spiral of media literacy and the mass emergence of bad faith readings?

[crimzoncrow]

[kxlance]

guess who got queerbaited once again with a bisexual character that wasnt actually bisexual and the studio just kept profiting off the ship until an interview of the showrunner came out dismissing bisexuality and calling the character heterosexual (even tho he kissed another guy and did probs more?)

THIS GIRL!!!!

it's the klance curse i swear to god