#Those DAMN DWARVES

[lotshusband]

^ this user has been told they were reading into things too far too many times that they are surprised they spotted antisemitism correctly in the wild

[aeide-thea]

rewatching the lord of the rings movies and honestly they really ricochet wildly between incredible and totally fantasy-of-that-era corny

like. on the whole: really good. really hit the important points as an adaptation. but also wow are some of the like. gaussian blur moments really doofy

[undreaming-fanfiction]

My brain refuses to sleep, so more drabbling! Probably modern-ish AU?

Steve makes a career for himself as a re-decorator (or de-decorator, as he loves to call himself). His clientele are those celebrities who rose to fame so quickly they have plenty of money, but they don't have time to make their houses feel like home. They just bought penthouses and mansions and now live in homes that are fancy, but they feel like hotels.

Steve is there to fix that.

One of his clients is the hard working rockstar Eddie Munson whose life path went from a trailer park to couch surfing to living with 4 people in a tiny apartment, then suddenly tours, hotels and boom! He has a house that looks like an IKEA prop.

He doesn't hide his distaste at the pristine condition of the place (yes, Eddie has a cleaner). "Oh god. A beige carpet?" he scoffs and he sounds so bitchy Eddie decides he likes him already.

He likes him even more when Steve puts on reading glasses. Damn.

Over coffee, they discuss what Eddie wants. Except Steve doesn't just...tell him. He doesn't give him any hints. He just keeps asking about Eddie's favorite colors, what movies he likes, does he have hobbies apart from music? Can Steve see some of the items that bring him comfort?

And Eddie's surprised. "Shouldn't you, like...be telling me what I'm supposed to want?" he asks the gorgeous man who almost wails when he sees the vase with fresh flowers ("This is the third place in a row that has this fugly thing! Is it like a status symbol? Uh, tasteless.").

And Steve just stares at him. "Uh, Mr. Munson?"

"Eddie."

Steve nods. "Eddie. Why should I have any say in what you want? If you ask me what's practical, easy to clean, what bounces off light well, that's another thing. But in matters of taste...you're the boss. You live here, I don't. (Pity, Eddie thinks) Now, let's change this place into somewhere you actually like staying, hm?"

They spend the whole afternoon talking. Eddie opens up about what he loved before the touring and expectations from his agent took that from him. He talks about the Lord of the Rings, Dungeons and Dragons, fantasy in general, and Steve listens, makes tons of notes and asks questions that make Eddie's heart bleed, such as "and who is your favorite Lord of the Rings character?" and "you mentioned elves, dwarves, orcs, wizards...so what is your favorite group?" and "which DnD class would you be then? I guess a bard? Is that too obvious?". Now, Steve doesn't know much about these things, but learns quickly and works with the info he has.

They walk through the house again, with Steve making notes and wincing at transgressions against humanity or at least against his taste in things ("Oh ew. EW. Glossy finish on a kitchen counter? What is this, a future crime scene?") and Eddie feeling equally amused and curious. Eddie orders dinner for them, it goes something like:

"I don't know what would be appropriate, any preferences?"

"Eddie, there's no time or space when pizza is not appropriate."

"What about a funeral?"

"It puts fun in a funeral."

"Touché."

They follow up on a bunch more things. Steve notices Eddie fidgeting and asks him like the mindreader he is if perhaps the place is too clean for him. "Minimalism is what everyone's trying to push," Steve says, not without sympathy, "but it's not for everyone. I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but you seem like a person who'd love a more....personal, cluttered space."

And god, Eddie feels so seen. He tells Steve about all his favorite books and trinkets that he lost during a horrible earthquake in Indiana, so when he moved to the city it was just some clothes and his two guitars. Steve makes so many notes. "I've seen quite a lot of collectibles for your beloved trilogy," he says with a hint of a smile. "Is that something you'd like in your home?" Eddie can't nod any faster.

They talk about the budget (Eddie just scoffs at that, for the first time in his life money is not an issue), Eddie's absolute no go things ("No more vases, please! PLEASE. Also maybe the one room that can stay as it is is the studio, there's no decor"), if he has issues touching any materials, if he wants to keep any areas in the house neutral for visitors (he doesn't). Then finally, he asks Eddie if he wants to be more consulted or surprised.

And Eddie, tired and surprisingly relaxed from talking to Steve, just grins and says: "Surprise me, big boy."

Steve just smirks and makes one more note. "Oh, I will, Eddie."

...

Eddie goes on yet another tour for a couple of months, which is the ideal time for Steve to start working on the house.

Steve sometimes texts Eddie random choices, such as "Rohan or Gondor or both?" or "what's the best pub in the Middle Earth?" and Eddie usually trips over his feet trying to get to his phone after concerts to see if maybe he has another message from Steve. He learns bits and pieces about the man as well - he has a younger brother, Dustin, who is into the same stuff that Eddie is. Sometimes it goes like this:

STEVE: What's the best battle in the LotR movies?

EDDIE: The Ride of the Rohirrim, duh!

STEVE: Dustin says you're wrong, it's the last stand at the gates of Mordor.

EDDIE: The disrespect to king Théoden!

And finally, the big day comes. Eddie meets with Steve at the door. From the outside, the house still looks boring, but that's what they agreed on. At least for now.

But there's one notable difference and Eddie gasps when he sees it.

"I know we said no changes on the outside," said Steve sheepishly, "but I took the liberty to make one slight change."

Where the door used to be bland and white, it is now carved with silver etchings. It replicates the Doors of Durin. Eddie loves it.

Steve smiles at him. "Speak friend and enter, right? Dustin told me. Anyways, are you ready?"

Turns out, Eddie wasn't ready. Steve took all of the shiny and sterile surfaces and turned them into something beautiful.

The kitchen is now in warmer colors, brown and green, imitating the Green Dragon inn, plaque included.

Guest rooms have been changed, each to represent a group or a nation of the Middle Earth. Eddie thinks his uncle will love the Rohirrim one.

No more vases are to be seen, but Steve got potted plants ("almost immortal, as long as your housekeeper waters them once a week or so").

Eddie howls in laughter when he sees that Steve somehow managed to disguise all his security cameras as tiny eyes of Sauron.

The bathroom is inspired by the Rivendell, with soft tones and nods to Elvish architecture.

Eddie's bedroom resembles the Shire, with round shapes and homely motifs.

But Eddie's absolute favorite is the living room.

The only things that remain there that he bought are the massive TV and his stereo system with records. The rest though...

Gone is the ugly and sharp couch that looked like a geometry exercise. The new one is large and comfortable, with a couple of armchairs to finish the cozy feel. The coffee table and TV stand are more rough looking, with decorative ironwork. And then, around the room and on the walls...

"Oh wow," whispers Eddie and Steve beams at him.

There are collectibles and figurines that young Eddie Munson would have killed for. A replica of the Narsil hangs over the TV. It's cluttered but tasteful, still easy to clean, but Eddie always has something to touch, to play with.

And then he spots the bookcase and actually sobs. "What the fuck, Steve?" he asks, but there's no anger, just awe. "How did you know?"

The bookcase is full of Eddie's most beloved books, all that he told Steve about and more, but it's not just that. These aren't just pristine new prints - Steve managed to get both those and well-loved used copies. Most of them are the same editions that Eddie had before the earthquake. He runs his trembling finger over the back of the Hobbit and it feels like home.

"That was the hardest part," says Steve and leaves Eddie to rummage through the books, the old DnD guides and used comic books. "But I assumed you're sick of new and shiny. In fact, most of the collectibles are already used as well. They have some history. As for the books, uh..." He scratches his neck, embarrassed. "I will be honest, I don't read much. Dyslexia and some issues with the eyes, although audio books are making it more possible for me now. So I had to ask Dustin for help. We looked for editions published before the earthquake. I hope we got some of them right?"

Eddie just mutters "Sorry, I'm about to do something really unprofessional now" and pulls Steve into a bear hug. And Steve reciprocates.

"Fuck, this...this is everything," says Eddie into his shoulder. "How did you do this? Are you magic. You must be magic."

Steve grins. "I take it the surprise was a success then?"

Eddie finally pulls back. He would have loved to keep embracing Steve for a bit longer, but boundaries. "A total one. Wow. I mean. It's a lot, but so good. SO GOOD. How can I repay you?"

"You already paid me, Eddie."

"You know what I mean!" Eddie points and the books and apparently also a DVD collection he now owns. "This must have been so much more work than you normally do, no? I doubt every client has you memorize the members of the Fellowship."

"Not just that, but also why Sam is the best," Steve smiles at him and fuck. Eddie might be in love. "It was more than usual, but I loved it, Eddie. That's why I like my job so much, helping people find themselves again. You don't owe me anything. Although, if you're offering..."

"I'm listening."

Steve runs his fingers through that majestic hair. "So, I didn't tell Dustin that I was decorating the house for you, but he's a huge fan of your music. Like, massive, has every album, has been following your career from the start. And feel free to tell me it's too much, you are my client after all, but...he'd love to meet you. Over a pizza, maybe? The plain ham and cheese one you like so it doesn't have too many flavors?"

And Eddie melts. Because Steve still remembers his pizza choice from months ago, even though this definitely wasn't in his notes. He decides there and then that Steven Harrington is a national treasure.

"Sure, big boy," he smiles at Steve, and hopes he didn't imagine Steve leaning into the touch. "How about you invite him over for a movie night or something? With pizza of course."

It looks like Steve could kiss him, but he doesn't. Not yet. That only happens a week later, when they bump into each other in Eddie's kitchen when they scramble to make more popcorn for Dustin.

Steve stays the next night. And maybe a few after that. Always in a different themed bedroom.

They travel for work a lot, but when they are both in Chicago, they always meet in the Green Dragon kitchen, cuddle in the bed that would be far too large for a hobbit, and in the night, Eddie wraps himself around Steve and whispers: "My preciousssss."

And Steve can't really complain, because it's his fault that his boyfriend has re-discovered his dorkiness, so why would he mind?

[ifeelfreewithoutmyshoes]

Ughh Rings of Power got me conflicted

[spacebarbarianweird]

The Dead, the Half-Dead and the Undead

Synopsis: Baby Alethaine is ten and, apparently, the thing she is a dhampir isn't the only problem Astarion and Tiriel have to face.

Tags: dadstarion, dhampirs, necromancy

Alethaine's age: 10

Thanks @queenofthespacesquids for beta-reading!

Read on AO3

Masterlist

Headcanons

Astarion immerses himself in one of his books. It is a complex text that has been written by some ancient magic who had probably been completely insane

Necromancy is an interesting subject, but damn difficult for those without an innate aptitude for it.

It's still midday, but out there in the underground part of Daggerlake, it doesn't matter. The city is divided into two parts, above ground and underground. The city is mostly populated

by dwarves, halflings, and humans but for some reason it feels like home for Astarion.

Besides, the town dwellers had decided they'd better have a vampire of their own than be threatened by other undead.

Astarion is still puzzled by this. Yes, these people should be grateful to him and Tiriel for saving them from a particularly nasty fairy pact. But letting them stay? Tiriel, a half-elven warrior, is one thing, but him, a vampire? Do they really want to share the town with him?

But they are fine. They treat him like others would treat some retired wizard or a former mercenary. But he knows he must be careful - one mistake and the neighbors will remember who Astarion truly is and that there is a reason why he never goes to the upper town in the daylight.

And there is a complication Astarion always has to take into account.

“Dad! Dad!”

Astarion looks up and sees ten-year-old Alethaine. She is upside down, but the hem of her dress brushes the ceiling, ignoring gravity. There's a bit of forest dirt on the girl's shoes, and he can distinguish the smell of wood.

“I told you not to go alone,” Astarion says. When she was younger, Astarion often found it difficult to parent her. The moment she asked something or started crying, he was ready to do anything just to make her feel better. It took him time to get a grip and establish boundaries. He is her father. If he wants the best for her, he has to be strict sometimes. Even if the response is tears and anger. 

“I didn’t go to the woods! I was in the meadow. It’s still in the town!”

Fair enough. The meadow is a favorite place for town kids since it is indeed the forest but their asses won’t get whooped by their parents.

“So, what is it, princess?”

Alethaine jumps on the floor with a soft “thump” and she inclines toward him making direct eye contact. Astarion still wonders sometimes if her eyes black because his eyes used to be, too, or because of her dhampirism. 

Dhampir.

Half-undead. Does Alethaine even understand what it truly means to her? Town kids don’t really care and adore her ability to walk on ceilings and steal sweets for them. But will it last long? She is ten. When she and her friends grow up, they will notice things that make her different. Will they start fearing her the same way town dogs start howling if Alethaine or Astarion pass by? Will they avoid her? Will they force her out of town to go seek her own kind?

“I want a kitten.”

“Princess, last time I checked cats don’t really like us, either.”

Alethaine sits beside him and forces him to close the book. “No, you don’t understand! A week ago, I found a kitten! She didn’t like me at first but I’ve been bringing her food. And today Wyv let me hold her! She doesn’t mind me at all!”

“Wyv?” 

“She is albino! She has red eyes and white fur! I think she went missing from her litter. Or maybe her mother's cat forced her to go. Please! Pretty please! She is so tiny, she won’t make it on her own! And I will take care of her!”

Alethaine stares at him with puppy eyes and her elven ears twitch with anticipation.

“Mum won’t mind, she will be happy there is an animal that doesn’t react to me as if I am some evil entity!”

“Princess, there is a very big chance this poor creature will run away once it senses me in the house. Last time I checked I am still undead.”

“And I am half-undead! Wyv got used to me, she will get used to you, too!”

Astarion flicks the tip of her nose. “But if your mother asks, you forced me to say “yes”.

Alethaine squeals and wraps her hands around his neck forcing him to drop the book. Astarion chuckles when he feels the soft prickling of her teeth on his skin. 

“I will be right back!” Alethaine rushes outside, slamming the door.

He had 200 years of pure misery and it still hurts him to see how much was taken from him. But then… Thirty years of something else. Something he hadn’t wished to have.

A woman to hold and to love who is brave enough to trust and care. 

Fifteen years of adventures, when they could go wherever they wanted and do whatever they desired. Then, they were offered to stay in Daggerlake, a small town near the Unicorn Rim.

Home was a concept unfamiliar to both of them and Tiriel sometimes begged him to return to the road.

But he was adamant. He needed a home. He needed a place to stay. To own. He wanted a place to stash all the artifacts and books they'd found, a comfortable bed to sleep and make love. 

Tiriel wanted it, too, though didn’t admit it.

And five years later the thing he’d least expected happened.

He barely remembers how it was - he was so drunk on blood, he felt his undead heart beating. Then he found Tiriel and dragged her home to pin her to the bed.

As a result…

Alethaine.

His daughter. His flesh and blood. 

Sometimes he treats Alethaine as a matter of course. Most men in Daggerlake have children, and usually more than one. But sometimes Astarion gets distracted and forgets where he is, and only comes back to reality when Alethaine taps him on the shoulder and then Astarion looks at her in awe, wondering how he even deserves her.

Ten years. Such a tiny piece of time but Alethaine’s whole life. Astarion can already see the woman she is becoming. The woman he will be proud of, the woman who will have the freedom he had to fight for.

Suddenly, Astarion realizes Alethaine has been missing for far too long. The meadow isn’t really far away and it’s already sunset - Astarion feels it.

Astarion locks the house and goes looking for his daughter.

It's already night when he gets to the meadow. Alethaine is there sitting on her knees with her head bowed.

“Alethaine, what did we talk about not being outside after sunset?”

She doesn’t answer. Astarion comes closer and sees that her face is red as if she has just stopped crying.

“Princess, what happened?” 

“It’s my fault” she sniffs. “I should have taken her with me right away,” her shoulders tremble and Alethaine bursts into tears once again.

Astarion kneels beside her, not knowing what to do. He still hasn’t learned how to react to her tears properly - so he does the only thing that works all the time with both her and Tiriel and also works for him.

He hugs her.

Through her muffled cries Astarion manages to understand that the albino kitten got out of the shelter and someone kicked her with such effort she died instantly. Now the kitten’s body lies in a small hole in the ground with her mouth wide open and stains of blood on the white fur.

'It's not your fault, it’s the fault of whoever did this, not yours.’

“No, you don’t understand! I could have taken her with me! If you had said “no”, I would have given her to the neighbors! And now she is dead! She is dead because of me!” Now Alethaine almost screams with all the sorrow a ten-year-old girl is capable of.

Astarion hugs his daughter tighter. He often stays with her on his own when Tiriel leaves to do some adventuring job - and usually, Astarion has no trouble. But right now the only thing he needs is for Tiriel to be at home. Because she can find the right words. She always can. Because what exactly does he need to tell Alethaine? It’s the first time she’s witnessed death. And it was the vilest example possible. 

An innocent creature was killed for fun. 

Well, maybe he should find that person and break their legs. It won’t help but maybe it will make Alethaine feel better. 

“Alethaine, let’s go home.” 

Alethaine doesn’t answer. 

“Princess, come on,” he repeats.

His vampiric senses feel that something is wrong. As if something eerie, and unnatural has started to happen.

Astarion glances at the dead kitten.

Then the kitten moves.

“What in hell…,” he mutters. 

It opens its eyes which glow an unnatural green color. The paws twitch, and the mouth opens showing small fangs. 

“Dad! Look! Wyv is alive! She was just wounded! And I thought she was dead!” Alethaine exclaims, grabbing the dead kitten. “We need to show her to the healer!”

Alethaine’s eyes glow with the same eerie shade of green.

Necromancy.

Alethaine has just used the “Rise Animal” spell.

A spell so difficult it takes mages years to learn it. 

Alethaine drops the dead kitten on the ground as if it were a poisonous snake.

“No… What is wrong with her, Dad?”

The kitten immediately sits up and freezes. Waiting for orders. 

“She is dead, isn’t she?” Alethaine sniffs. The kitten doesn't move, staring at her with its resurrected eyes.

Necromancer. If being a dhampir wasn't enough for her. Necromancers have always been outcasts with their abilities to raise the dead and cast the darkest of spells.

Alethaine is one of them. Twice an outcast.

“Alethaine '' Astarion makes her face him. “Listen to me carefully. There must be strings, connecting you with the kitten. Like a puppet doll. You need to cut them.”

“But she will die”

“It is already dead. it’s not a life. Put it to rest.”

Alethaine wipes tears and the weird glowing fades. Alethaine concentrates, looks at her hands, and then makes a movement with her fingers as if she were tearing threads.

The dead kitten falls on the ground like a puppet.

Alethaine sits down tired and exhausted. Resurrecting a creature, even small animals, is a difficult spell requiring much energy even from adult mages. For a ten year old it’s the equivalent of hiking in the mountains. 

Astarion takes Alethaine in their hands.

“Dad?”

“Hm?”

“Will you and mum still love me if I am a necromancer?”

“Of course, we will.”

“You can’t get necrotic damage, can you?”

“Well, I am very undead myself. So fear not, you won’t harm me even accidentally”

“And mum? She is mortal, she can get hurt.”

Astarion sighs. Damn, ‘Tiriel should come back sooner, I can’t answer all those questions’.

“You won’t hurt her. Don’t worry.”

Silence. The little dhampir doesn’t believe him. Alethaine sniffs again.

“Did it hurt when you were resurrected?”

Astarion has to make an effort to keep himself composed. It is still traumatic. Still hurts. Two hundred years of pain. Tortures. Isolation. Transformation.

“I am a vampire, not a ghoul. Ghouls don’t feel anything. They are already dead. you resurrected the flesh but Wyv didn’t feel anything.”

“Are you sure?”

“I am. Alethaine, promise me you won't try to practice alone, all right? No one must know you are a necromancer. People won’t understand. ”

The rest of the walk home is passed in silence. That evening Alethaine refuses to eat, and all attempts to cheer her up fail. She's heartbroken and scared, and whatever is weighing on her mind, she just can't process it. 

He needs to think something up. The sooner, the better. Before Alethaine harms herself or someone in the town.

**

Alethaine can't sleep. 

It's been a week and she feels terrible. There are whispers on the edge of her mind, dark and frightening, they call to her, they promise her something. 

Alethaine can't shut them up.

She sees threads stretching from her fingers to the dead animals. Worse, she feels the threads leading to living people.

Cause them necrotic damage, the darkness whispers. It is going to be fun! Strike fear in them, make them scream, make them cry! And drink their blood if that’s to your liking!

Tiriel didn’t say anything when she heard what had happened. But Alethaine sees uneasiness in her eyes. Of course, she is afraid! There are strings attached to her as well, one or two necrotic spells and she is dead!

Astarion left two days later - he said he would try to look for something. Alethaine cried and begged to take her with him, but he refused. 

Alethaine has locked herself in her room, barely leaving. But the silence and solitude are the fuel for nightmares. For the darkness. For tempting whispers.

The little dhampir gets out of her bed and goes to her parents’ bedroom. Tiriel is fast asleep under a blanket. Peaceful and quiet.

Alethaine fumbles at the door. She is ten, not three! She is too old to sleep with her mother. But the thought of spending one more night alone with those whispers feels awful.

“Kitten? Are you alright?”

“Mum… can… I…”

“Come here.”

Alethaine gets under the blanket and her mother’s arms immediately wrap around her.

“I am afraid,” Alethaine finally admits. 

“I know, Kitten. Dad will think something up.”

“What if I hurt you while he is away?”

“You won’t”

“How can you know that? I am a necromancer!” 

Alethaine turns around to see her mother’s face. 

“Alethaine, you are also a dhampir and I don’t remember you ever trying to drain me. And you’ve had your fangs since you were five months old.”

Alethaine relaxes and hugs mother back. 

“Mum, did you always know dad was a vampire?”

“Hm, I learned it on the third day I think. Woke up to him trying to bite me. He is lucky I’d already liked him.”

“And you weren’t afraid to be with him?”

“No. Your father was a troubled person, not easy to handle. But he was worth it. I know you are scared. People don’t take it easy when someone can cast dark spells. But it doesn’t mean you have to be alone or be a bad person, even if it’s expected. You will meet people who will accept you for who you are. Who will love you. One of the kindest men I knew was a warlock with a devil pact. Things aren’t always what they seem.”

Your mother’s blood is so warm! You’ve tasted it once, remember? When you were dying of bloodlust! Bite her, take what is rightfully yours!

As if hearing the intrusive thoughts, Tiriel hugs her daughter tighter. 

“Whatever happens, we will always be with you. We will help you, we will support you, and no matter what happens, you can always trust us. Even if you do something really bad. ”

Alethaine sniffs and buries her nose in her mother’s neck. 

The darkness steps away, and the girl falls asleep.

She doesn’t have nightmares for the first time that week.

“Alethaine,” she feels a soft tap on her shoulder. “Wake up.”

Alethaine opens her eyes and sees she is still in her parents’ bed. Tiriel, fully dressed, stands at the doors.

“Hm?”

“Dad is back. Could you go down to the basement?”

Alethaine, still half asleep, dresses up and goes down. Her senses immediately tell her Astarion isn’t alone. 

“Hello, princess,” Astarion strokes her head the moment she gets closer.

A man in a dirty red robe sits on the wooden bench. His head is bald and his right eye is missing. Instead, there is a blue gemstone with intricate runes. 

“Astarion, don’t you tell me she is a dhampir.”

“Oh, she very much is! Alethaine, this is Nris. He is going to be your teacher.”

“Astarion, I deeply appreciate you for saving me from that devil but I am not morally ready to teach a dhampir necromancy!”

“I doubt you will be able to pay me. My services are expensive. And I can always sell you back to the devils. I need you to teach my daughter necromancy. End of story.”

“For fuck sake… How old are you?”

Alethaine steps back. “T-ten”

“Fuck, this is the worst age ever! In a year she will hit puberty and it’s bad even without dhampirism and necromancy!”

Alethaine looks at her father.

“Dad, I don't like him.”

“He is a necromancer, princess. People aren’t supposed to like them.”

“Astarion, I knew I shouldn’t have made deals with you! A devil is better than a vampire! At least with devils, I know what to expect! Alethaine, you know what your father did? He took advantage of my desperate situation and forced me to make a pact with him.”

“Nris, don’t be stupid. It’s a working agreement!” Astarion grins. “And I can summon your former master any time, and, I fear, this time he will be harsher on you.”

Nris curses again, and Alethaine makes a note to use one of the slurs next time she gets into a fight. 

The necromancer stretches his right hand, covered in weird tattoos. “Come here, Alethaine.”

Nris sends a shiver down her spine, but Astarion only nudges his daughter slightly, forcing her to approach the mage.

“Dhampir, necromancer, and all this with Fey blood. You did pick the wild cards out of Tasha’s cauldron. What exactly did you do to make your father save my ass from the devils?”

“I-I revived a kitten.”

Nris flinches. “I hate sorcerers to my guts! I’ve spent decades learning how to revive small animals - and you did it just like that! But good for you that you didn’t resurrect a human because if you had, the townsfolk would have burnt you alive. I was trying to make the darkness talk to me and it still doesn’t answer back but it calls upon you like an old friend. Life is truly unfair, Alethaine Ancunin.”

Alethaine is silent, unable to stop staring at the gemstone in the eye socket. The runes move resembling trapped flies. 

“Very well, let’s start from learning the basics!”

**

Astarion leaves the basement. When he glances back he sees Alethaine drawing runes on the floor while Nris is giving her the lecture.

Astarion is tired. He didn’t have time to rest during the week, and besides, the worry of leaving a ten-year-old necromancer who didn’t understand how to control her powers alone with Tiriel plagued him like a nightmare.

Nris doesn’t look like the most decent or talented mage but he is bound to him by a pact and doesn’t have any desire to return to the devils. So, he is going to live in the secret basement under their house and teach Alethaine as much as he can. 

Wild cards out of Tasha’s dungeon. Yes, that’s true. An unlikely child with dangerous skills. 

Astarion finds Tiriel in the inner yard, throwing axes into the wooden wall. He approaches her and hugs them from behind, placing his chin on her shoulder.

“Tired?” she asks.

“Can I take your blood?”

She touches his curls with her tender fingers. “Of course.”

Astarion indulges his fangs in her neck. Blood streams down his throat, calming him down. Tiriel falters. He immediately releases her neck and takes her in his hands to carry Tiriel to the bedroom.

When they get there they lie together on the bed, their fingers intertwined. Due to sharpened hearing Astarion feels a distant echo from the basement. It seems like Alethaine and Nris have started a screaming match.

“You really didn’t warn him, did you?” Tiriel asks, drawing invisible symbols on his back.

“Maybe. Kind of.”

“Well, at least I won’t be the only mortal in the house.”

“Tiriel, don’t make him your drinking pal, I beg you!” Astarion laughs.

“What? A mug of ale after a difficult day hasn't hurt anyone yet.” Tiriel touches the tip of his ear. “Meditate. I will be with you.”

Astarion nods. Thirty years of happy memories are enough to give him bliss. He concentrates and lets the flow of memories take him to reverie.

Astarion holds Alethaine for the first time. A newborn girl is probably still in pain after being pushed into the world. He hears her fast heartbeat as her living heart pumps half-undead blood through her veins.

He cradles her in his arms. Alethaine is so warm, so delicate, so innocent. It’s not yet clear if she is a dhampir but Astarion knows he loves her. It’s a different form of affection, unknown to him. A selfless love for a child, a desire to make sure she won’t endure the same hardships as he did.

And she must not know.

Astarion gives himself a promise. His daughter will never know about his past. it will never taint her. The pain, the touches, the humiliation, the violence - she will not know a word of it. 

Her mindset will be free of that dirt and of that darkness. He won’t pass it. 

“Thank you, my love,” Astarion whispers. “This is a gift.”

--

Tag list

@tugoslovenka @marcynomercy @wintersire @vixstarria @not-so-lost-after-all @ashiro20 @theearthsfinalconfession @herstxrgirl @starlight-ipomoea @micropoe10 @astarion-imagine-archive @veillsar @elora-the-slutty-songstress @fayeriess @lumienyx @tallymonster @caitlincat-95 @tragedybunny @valeprati @lynnlovesthestars @marina-and-the-memes @waking-electric @ayselluna @connorsui @asterordinary @darkarchangel96 @locallegume

[evilminji]

Sooooo.....

Like? We can all agree, that, all other factors aside? Given the life he's lived and the personality he has? The sheer NONSENSE he's been exposed too (from rays to oozes to powders to magics etc) AND the by definition unfinishable nature of his Life's Work/Obsession?

If Batman lived in a world connected to Danny Phantom's Zone in any way... he's DEFINITELY becoming a Realms Ghost.

Like? It's not even a "possibly" here. It's an inevitability. He HAS to protect just one more person. HAS to solve one more case. HAS to protect his kids one last time. He HAS Too, HAS Too, HAS Too.

He's Batman.

It's etched into his soul. The man's ghost will literally REFORM in that outfit. Batman with a glow. Batman the protection spirit. Kindness and grief and an eternity of "I have to save just one more."

He's not going to get to die peacefully or rest quietly. It would go against his nature.

But! Why is this relevant? Because of the Elseworld stories. Those AUs. The Multi-Verse at large. They ALL... Have Batman.

Consider: Ember McClain. Rocker. Remember that name. Yes, in some worlds she makes it big. But? Tragedy and betrayal in others. Death. Do you think the Ember's of those worlds are fine with passing on silently? Shrugging and being forgotten just because some other Ember got there first?

No. They are Ember. SHE is Ember.

Just as Clockwork is Time.

What makes a Realms Ghost different then someone like Deadman? Than a Shade? A poltergeist? Your average spook?

They are only themselves.

Singular.

Small.

A tiny little fraction, of a fraction, of a part, of a small bitty droplet, if even that. You only get one soul. But! You share it. There are many "You"s. Like the universe itself, exploding out, to live, to experience, BE, and then collapsing back together in the end. Running together like rainwater in the cracks of Realitys. Seeping back into one piece, one person, in the place between places.

It's why one forgets silly things like Names and Pasts. You had so, so many. All of them were yours. Made you. Shaped you. But are not why you refuse to let go. Why you still EXSIST. Outside of Creation and Rebirth, beyond any gods you could possibly recognize. Refined to your truest SELF.

Yet... you might still be Alive. You know that you ARE. Time exists for the living. To balance beginnings, middles, and ends. Why do you care? They aren't you yet. They will be. All of you will eventually come together. You'll become something... MORE.

Ancient.

The wisdom and complexity of a complete Being. More a Person then your average soul. Like giant stars compared to a barely burning dwarves. You know, assuming you don't give up first. Most give up. It takes a certain sort of patience, after all. A LOT of timeless time. Kinda sucks.

Yet! We consider The Bat. Persistence and Stubborn Hope made manifest. Compassion born of terrible grief. Dead. Again and again and again. Dead for those who needed him. Who hated him. Who cursed or forgot or lamented him. In every imaginable age, a story played out the same. Ending the same.

Himself instead of another.

Himself FOR the others.

Himself because none other could.

Sacrifice and Sacrifice and Sacrifice. Desperation to save. Worlds burning and cities falling. Waking up, reaching out, to shield sons and daughters that are not there. That live because he does not. Dragging himself through the stubborn walls of world after world, like a haunting final curse, upon those who harmed his family, his city. His world.

A wraith. Gothams final curse upon those who damn her.

What must it be like? To keep saying good bye? To drag your aching soul, fuller and fuller of terrible memories, across the fields of jagged glass that are portals you tear, to world's on fire. Just to save friends and family. Enemies and strangers. All of whom, must in the end... bury you anyway.

Because you must kill the hope in their eyes. Must die before them again. Because you can not stay and they can not come with you. Or worse... they can, and will soon.

Sitting on fields of battle where you tried. Gave all your spirit could muster. But... it's over now. And all you can offer is the knowledge is that they should not be afraid. You will carry them home.

And are there? Nightwings and Robins and all manner of other family, waiting back in the Zone? In a Manor where Pennyworth lives eternal? Do they also hurt and fight to save their friends? Each new piece of them coming with some great tragedy that they must put right?

Do they give Walker and the Observants migraines? Probably.

Imagine, though: Time travel added to the mix. Dying in the future. Your son managing to turn everything back to before the world ended. The Ghost King is suddenly a Baby again. Every one is freaking out. "Oh no! The king!" Blah blah blah.

But you and your family are more concerned about the world ending threat that kills a part of you. So is the baby ghost king, when you tell him. You show up in your own Cave, freak yourself out. Team up time. Though you ARE growing concerned by the Baby Kings self-neglectful behaviors. Hey, Me, are you seeing this?

.......he.... you know, he COULD use more Parental Oversight. He's a good kid. Seems lonely though. Underfed. ("BRUCE, NO." "Hmmm.")

@hdgnj @stealingyourbones @the-witchhunter @cyrwrites

[yardsards]

This is why I refuse to watch/read delicious in dungeon. The entire thing gives me fatphobic vibes.

see the premise as a whole is actually very body positive (i myself had similar worries that a story about eating "healthy" would rely on fatphobic ideas of "healthy", but was pleasantly surprised). like, its approach to "healthy" is "make sure you're eating enough of everything so that your body has enough fuel. make sure you're resting enough and not overworking." rather than "you must not eat The Bad Junk Food." (like, there's one part early on where they're like "oh, we've eaten too much vegetables and lean meat, we need to eat more fat" so they search for fatty meat and eggs. and then later they eat deep fried food and no one is ever like "oh no, this is too fattening" they're just like "wow this is great it's so crispy and tasty")

and the core message of it all is just like "your body is a part of you, and is the part of you that allows you to do things and reach your goals. don't treat it like a burden or an afterthought." and the series has had a positive impact on the way i view and treat my body

and overall, it's better than a lot of other popular anime series in terms of representing realistic and diverse body types. our two human (or "tallman" as they're called in-universe) main characters, laios and falin, are not super skinny, with no wasp waist or shrink-wrapped abs. i would not consider either of them fat in canon, but they're still fatter than your average popular anime character. certain races like dwarves and orcs are just naturally stout, and are never treated as being unhealthy or unattractive because of their weight. fatness is said to be a respected trait among adventurers, as a sign that you're good at survival and can safely recover from injuries.

however. the show has a few small things that make me raise my eyebrows. one or two iffy offhand comments (glaring at you, That One Conversation about laios's hunger near the end) that in most media i'd just be like "sighhh, normalized societal fatphobia strikes again, as expected." but for this series it's like "god damn it, i expected better from you."

and some things about how body types between fantasy races are handled leaves something to be desired for me. like yeah dwarves are all stocky, but also elves are all slender. it makes sense for the different fantasy races to have different *average* body types, but i wish we got to see more variation from those averages between individuals.

(also, i can fully understand praising laios and falin's canon body types! even medium body types are underrepresented in most media and it's good to see more of them! but calling them *fat* representation just feels inaccurate to me)

it's just like. dungeon meshi is GOOD in terms of body positivity and representation, but it's not PERFECT.

like, i love this show/manga (if you couldn't tell from the content of my blog)

mostly i voice my complaints bc like. i'm tired of tumblr getting it's hands on a piece of media that is good and generally progressive and acting like the media is *perfect*. and then proceeding to treat anyone who points out things the media could have done better as if they personally slayed your firstborn. (and then, months later, after the hype dies down, realize that some of that criticism was actually very valid, and then violently knock the piece of media down from its pedestal. and act like everyone involved in the media's creation are irredeemable scum and that anyone who still likes it should be ashamed)

so yeah, funny dungeon show good, and i strongly recommend it if you like fantasy stories and food and worldbuilding, just don't expect it to be a flawless paragon of representation and fat positivity

(also take everything i say here with a grain of salt bc i myself am thin, i just care a lot about representation in media and body acceptance and dismantling fatphobia)

[ironmandeficiency]

stupid goose

pairing: fíli / hobbit!reader

word count: 2953

summary: a goose followed fili into erebor and refused to leave

a/n: this has taken over my brain

no one knew where that damn demon bird came from. all anyone knew is that when fíli returned from the markets of dale one day, he was trailed by a goose. this goose demanded in very angry honks to be let into erebor right behind the golden prince, and despite every attempt made to shoo the thing outside, the goose remained.

it honked during council meetings, entertained some of the young pebbles that had returned to erebor with their families, and generally caused a disturbance everywhere it waddled. fíli took to naming his new pet trøbbel, and he grew to appreciate the feathered chaos harbinger.

thorin couldn’t stand the damn thing. it would flap and honk and nip at him at the most odd times, namely when he was scolding his nephews. the king under the mountain was halfway convinced that fíli trained it to behave so.

the days turned to weeks, weeks into months, and trøbbel stuck around through it all. he was a common companion, and a very proper one indeed. eventually he learned some semblance of patience; the standard amount of patience in geese was alarmingly similar to the patience of dwarves.

trøbbel definitely lived up to his name, so much so that when bilbo sent word that he was planning a springtime visit to the mountain in a few months’ time, multiple correspondents thought it fit to warn their burglar about the newest addition.

“dear bilbo,

the company is delighted to hear of your pending visit to the mountain! many things have changed for the better since uncle was crowned king (not his temper, unfortunately for us all). everyone is looking forward to seeing you again, though i do carry a warning with this letter.

you see, a few months ago i involuntarily acquired a wild goose as a companion. he made himself known to me after leaving dale one afternoon and rather violently refused to be parted from my side.

this goose is a mighty beast that honks and bites diplomats (dwalin never loved him more than when he nipped at thranduil upon first glance of the elf) and steals food from the plates of those not paying attention. i warn you because trøbbel is very suspicious of new people, and i don’t want you falling victim to his wiles if he finds that you don’t have snacks for him upon arrival.

see you soon,

prince fíli”

bilbo was baffled. he was confuddled, stupefied even. how in yavanna’s green gardens fíli ended up with a goose was beyond his reckoning. the last time he heard of a goose forcing its way into someone’s life in this manner was being told the story of how his parents met when he was a wee fauntling.

it was a somewhat rare phenomenon among hobbits to be found by a goose in such a way. they were said to guide hobbits to their soulmates, the other half of their soul as created by lady yavanna. the goddess had to create an animal stubborn enough to aid her hobbit children in finding their soulmates, one that could easily navigate the hills and rivers of their lands, and the goose was her solution.

even though erebor was no west farthing, bilbo could imagine that any goose worth its tail feathers would find a way to survive in the lonely mountain. and, based on the letter he just read, one has.

taking into consideration the thing’s audacity, that bird of fíli’s is definitely a soulmate goose, and a right bugger at that.

the first thing he now had to do was inform fortinbras of this development. as thain and cousin, bilbo was sure that he could find some sound advice there.

now, if bilbo could figure out how to explain that fíli has a hobbit for a soulmate without putting thorin and balin into their deathbeds, that would be just peachy.

“HONK! HONK HONK!”

“i cannot believe you, tansy!”

“HONK!”

“yeah you better run, you wretched thing!”

tansy the goose had to be the biggest pain in the backside you’ve ever met, and that’s saying something considering the run-ins you’ve had with the bracegirdles.

she followed you to the markets, when you went on walks among the meadows and fields, and even snuck into the washroom to be there when you bathed. in your opinion, it was all a bit too much.

your tansy gave the wizard gandalf a run for his money when it came to disturbing the peace. on days you went to the market, she would follow you and honk all the way at passersby and intimidate them off the dirt path you were on.

she also picked up a very peculiar habit of trying to (and sometimes succeeding to) snag fine jewelry from the booths of dwarrow traveling through from the blue mountains. every time you would turn and see a shiny glint of silver or gold hanging from her beak, your heart would drop to your feet in fear. thus far, the merchants you’ve encountered were very understanding of your feathery thief and harbored no ill will against you as you returned their wares to the tune of an angry goose.

while those situations were mortifying and anxiety-inducing, you’ve reached the end of your rope today. tansy has committed a grievous sin by brutalizing your blackberry patch to the point of there being almost nothing left worth eating and you’ve had it up to your ears with her.

you chased her with a wooden spoon as you ranted about her foul deed and resolved to talk to someone about what to do about tansy the chaos goose. maybe the thain would have some advice?

“uncle! we’ve got a reply from bilbo!” kíli waved the letter in the air excitedly as he barged into his uncle’s chambers.

fíli follows kíli in, rolling his eyes as he snatches the parchment from his brother’s hand. “no, i got a reply from bilbo.”

the golden prince makes no mention of the second page bilbo wrote to him with explicit instructions to keep it to himself. that morsel of information was for him and him alone - well, for him and trøbbel, of course.

“hurry up and read it!”

“i would if you’d stop flapping about like trøbbel!”

in response to being compared to kíli (or maybe just hearing his name), trøbbel honked indignantly.

“dearest fíli,

it pleases me greatly to know that erebor is flourishing under your uncle’s rule. i am most excited to see you all again, especially in the comforts of your home.

while i thank you for your warning, i have some news of my own to share. there will be a hobbitess accompanying me on my trip-“

thorin cut off his nephew, his bright mood upon receiving bilbo’s correspondence immediately clouding over. “he’s bringing a hobbit lass?” the king’s thoughts immediately sour with thoughts of his burglar introducing the company to a spouse wooed by his tales of adventure.

both brothers caught the sudden wave of melancholy that surged through their uncle. his feelings for bilbo were a poorly-kept secret among the company, but there were none who had the courage to call attention to it.

“you’re almost as bad as kee with interrupting me,” fíli chastised before clearing his throat to continue.

“-there will be a hobbitess accompanying me on my trip that shares in your feathered predicament. with the description you gave me of your trøbbel, i’d bet all of my fourteenth share that he’d get along swimmingly with her tansy. she’s a menace, that one.”

“see uncle, you can remove that frown! bilbo isn’t courting anyone back in the shire!” kíli interjected with a small smile and an elbow nudge, hoping to goad thorin back into a good mood.

fíli sighed the sigh of a long-suffering older brother. “this is exactly what i mean when i talk about you interrupting me, kee!”

“but he was sad!”

“and i’m annoyed!”

“boys!”

one word put the squabbling siblings back in line.

“sorry, uncle.”

“do continue, fíli.”

“i send this letter ahead of me from bree. i hope you receive it in proper time so you can prepare the mountain for the impending doom that will be brought upon by two geese occupying erebor.

if you note the bite marks in bottom right corner and the occasional blots of stray ink on the parchment, those are courtesy of tansy. she sends her well wishes along with mine.

your burglar,

bilbo baggins”

thorin looks at trøbbel where he’s squatted directly on top of thorin’s favorite bedpillow like the cruel beast he is. the smug bastard has a wicked gleam in his eye as if he knows he’ll soon have a partner in crime to terrorize the whole mountain alongside.

oh mahal, please watch over this mountain.

erebor was teeming with anticipation, both for the arrival of the famed dragonriddler and for the next act of war from trøbbel. for nigh on three weeks, the royal bird has been eerily well-behaved. this was so out of character that fíli carried his companion to óin in the hopes the healer could figure out what malady had struck his friend.

there was nothing obvious to blame for the sudden silence of the royal bird, so the healer told fíli to watch over his bird and take as good care of him as possible.

he didn’t know much of anything about geese, so he simply opted to treat his companion like kíli when he was sick.

a cozy new bed was constructed, fíli monitored his food, and things seemed to be getting better. trøbbel slowly came back to his regular gremlin self, causing chaos that was mildly tamer than before.

at least the mountain didn’t get too comfortable without his shenanigans, because when bilbo arrived with his companion and their goose, all hell broke loose.

“hmm,” bilbo hummed to himself as he observed tansy sitting demurely on her designated pillow. she’d been oddly calm today, as if she knew where her company was going.

when bilbo explained the significance of tansy’s appearance in your life, you were flabbergasted. the idea of true soulmates was a sweet one yet painfully unrealistic in your eyes, something you read in bedtime stories. but with both bilbo and thain fortinbras’s confirmation that you received a soulmate goose from yavanna, you couldn’t deny it any longer.

then bilbo claimed he knew your soulmate and had fought alongside him against trolls and goblins and orcs and a dragon. he told you that he was rather fond of the dwarves of erebor, and that they were rambunctious and honorable.

but when he spoke of king thorin, the uncle of your soulmate, something was decidedly different from how he spoke of the rest of the company he kept. you could see the way his body visibly relaxed, how his eyes were softer and the appearance of pink on the tips of his ears.

your friend clearly held something more than respect for the dwarf king.

one night around the campfire, you told tansy about your suspicions. for a hooligan goose, she was a rather good conversationalist.

“i think bilbo loves that king of his, tansy.”

“HONK!”

“exactly! that’s what i was thinking!”

tansy honks back in response. living among hobbits, she seemed to pick up on some social etiquettes and right now, it was as if you were pleasantly chatting over afternoon tea.

you pondered what to do about this new development. bilbo was always seen as a bachelor, someone unattainable by shire standards. but just maybe, by the grace of yavanna, he’ll find his love in the heart of a king.

“say tansy,” a soft honk of acknowledgement came from your goose, “when you’re done leading me to my soulmate, can you help bilbo find his?”

in years to come, you will swear by the fact tansy nodded at you that evening by the fire.

“they’re here!”

“bilbo!”

“our burglar has returned!”

in the distance, they could see bilbo making his way towards the front entrance of erebor and unbridled joy swept through the company. how they’ve all missed their burglar in his absence from the mountain.

bard was walking alongside bilbo, who had dismounted from his pony when he entered dale and was guiding him along by the reins. at bilbo’s other side was another hobbit, presumably the lass he mentioned in his letter, and waddling with pride beside them was a goose wearing a red ribbon tied into a neat bow.

fíli made a break for the front gates as soon as the horn announcing bilbo’s arrival echoed through the crisp air. he genuinely missed bilbo and was plenty excited to meet the goose (and the hobbitess) described in his letters.

trøbbel dutifully followed behind his dwarf, waddling just fast enough to keep pace. at first. but in the distance, the royal goose of erebor heard a honk that resonated so deeply in him that he couldn’t dawdle with fíli, he had to go immediately.

his orange webbed feet pitter-pattered on the stone floors with the intensity of oliphaunts and the speed of rhosgobel rabbits, honking all the way. members of the company hollered after the speeding goose but trøbbel paid them no heed, far too focused on his destination.

“oi! trøbbel you mangy beast, get back here!”

“you ain’t beatin’ us to our burglar!”

the dwarves stood no chance at catching him, only following behind him like goslings in a rather lopsided row. apparently, trøbbel was going to beat them.

tansy was going to turn you grey long before your time if she had anything to say about it.

that wild beast of a bird strutted into dale with the attitude of the most pretentious hobbits in the west farthing, catching all sorts of strange looks from the big folk who never beheld such a human-acting animal. she honked and nodded to the growing crowd in greeting. you sighed at her antics but carried on, watching as bilbo’s entire countenance changed the closer he got to his dwarrow.

watching the entrance to the dwarven kingdom grow ever closer, you felt strangely lighter, almost as if you were coming home.

before you knew it, there was a stampede of dwarrow emerging from the front gates headed straight towards you and bilbo, led by a goose. logic told you that they were his friends from the journey, that they missed him more than you could imagine missing anyone.

but then tansy let out a screeching honk unlike anything you’ve ever heard in all your days. she immediately bolted for the feathered line leader, not even the slightest bit worried about being trampled by the pounding feet of dwarrow.

“tansy! tansy! oh you reckless fiend, you’re lucky i didn’t cook you on the way here!”

chasing after her was a terrible idea. instead, you elected to watch from beside your pony and hope for the best.

recalling bilbo’s stories, you could point out a few of his companions. bombur with his braided beard that weaves into itself, nori with the star points atop his head, thorin with his raven-colored hair…

the king of erebor was running like a hooligan towards bilbo at full speed, a wide smile on his face that bilbo led you to believe was a nigh impossible feat.

you nudge your friend with a smile, wondering why his feet weren’t going a mile a minute to reunite with his dwarf. “go to him,” you whispered. this seemed to spur him into action, bilbo making a mad dash for his king.

when thorin caught bilbo in a leaping embrace, their laughter was infectious. even tansy was honking joyously with them, echoed by another bit of loud honking you couldn’t place.

looking over, your tansy was nuzzling with the ereborian goose. they were waddling around each other inquisitively at first, then plopped down to the side of the path to watch the joyous reunion of king and burglar.

within moments, you realized what this meant: your soulmate was on his way. oh green gardens, you weren’t ready!

meeting your prince soulmate now, after a ragged journey across middle earth while covered in yavanna-knows-what, had your nerves vibrating with tension. your hands were clammy, eyes flitting around to spot him based on bilbo’s descriptions.

“trøbbel! oi you bugger, how dare you run ahead!”

you heard one voice clearly through the thicket of joyous bustling, and the entire world came to a screeching halt.

your soulmate wore a smile that could have blinded you, and his laughter put you in a tailspin. in the golden light of morning, his hair shone like the wheat fields you grew up playing in.

you had to be closer to him without another moment’s delay.

without your permission, your feet began to carry you into the growing crowd of dwarrow towards fíli. part of you wanted to dig your heels into the dirt because you didn’t know what to say to him! how did one even begin to introduce themselves to the person that the gods made to be their other half?

turns out you didn’t have to answer that question on your own.

in the time he spent on the road with bilbo, fíli learned quite a few pieces of important information about hobbits. they valued their food and their gardens, and placed great importance on flowers and their meanings. so when presented with his hobbit soulmate, he knew exactly how to make a good first impression.

presenting you a few sprigs of purple lilacs, he approached his one with a charming smile. “i imagine you’re starving from the trip here, love. would you like me to fetch you a warm meal straight from the royal kitchens?”

[bg3-stole-my-soul]

❤️Tall Fem! Tav x Astarion Headcanons❤️

So— Tall Fem!Tavs— we need more love and I am going to attempt to play with the idea because in fandom spaces I only ever see fem Tavs that are shorter than Astarion and it makes my tall self’s heart ache.

I also know in game it doesn’t matter if your Tav is taller than Astarion…. But like what if it did— 👀

I am going to keep this as racially, background, and class ambiguous as possible however it is very clear the short races like halflings, dwarves, and gnomes this is most certainly not applicable to. I love them, don’t get me wrong, but this is for us 🤌😌

So on that note physically this Tav is tall, muscular, and probably a lil physically intimidating— and like almost every character I write is of Chaotic Good alignment. Tav is a big, sweet, mischievous muscle mommy with big hands—

This is my first time doing a post like this so please be gracious. I did my best to keep this in character for Astarion, while also sweet and mostly focused on his POV.

Being taller than most of your companions wasn’t a bad thing exactly, just a thing. You had outgrown many of your peers ages ago and while it had embarrassed you for a long time, you eventually embraced it. The stares of others became empowering instead of making you try to shrink yourself in any way you could. However this did not save you from being nabbed by mind flayers and infected— damn. It also surprised you when an elf shorter than you managed to catch you by surprise and hold a knife to your throat.

I don’t think Astarion is the type to be insecure regarding his height, man’s petty enough to climb the counters to the top shelf if he damn well feels like it. However upon meeting a female Tav who’s taller than him, stronger than him, he is ever so slightly worried. It makes him want to spur his plan of manipulation for protection into action quickly. Only because he doesn’t want to run the risk of getting snapped like a toothpick—

On that note, watching you fight absolutely does something to this man. Being able to see your muscles all the way from his perch on the other side of the battlefield is certainly something he can appreciate. He can absolutely admit that you are fine af, especially covered in blood.

At first he would be annoyed if you did things like pat him on the head with your huge hands- after all he puts a lot of work into his hair that he can’t see— but comes to realize it’s your way of gentle support. And he supposes it’s better than other things… Eventually he grows to love you resting your big hands on his head or shoulders. And even further down the line holding your hand, his slender fingers tangled in yours.

When this man chooses to try and bite you in your sleep it is absolutely out of sheer desperation because he is terrified of those arms staking him. But when you accept what he is without any real complaint.. he is pleasantly surprised. He likes you’ve got a good heart in that big chest of yours.

When he gets downed in a fight and wakes up to find himself in your arms being carried back to camp OH BOY that might be the first moment he realizes he’s in trouble.

The next time is absolutely the morning after the tiefling party. He wakes up at the crack of dawn snuggled into your tiddies— and as the old meme states “World hard and cold, tiddy soft and warm”. If he weren’t so excited to bask in the sun he would have stayed there all morning. Post confession it is his favorite way to cuddle.

He believes your arms are the safest place to be, and he is probably right. Being held by you makes him feel like he is surrounded in warmth, and if he sleeps there he usually has less nightmares. Drinking your blood with your arms wrapped around him is genuinely sweet and euphoric for this man.

❤️⚜️❤️⚜️❤️⚜️❤️⚜️❤️⚜️❤️

~ ❤️18+ HEADCANONS BELOW❤️~

He also enjoys the two of you just snuggling and admiring one another’s appearances, it’s intimate, and it feels right. He loves being able to take his time tracing his hands everywhere on your larger body, finding the places that make you laugh and squirm for him.

He also doesn’t mind a little manhandling if it’s from you, because he knows despite your size you will happily let him move you where he wants or stop if he’s no longer comfortable.

Back at the tiefling party he let you top, and while he does enjoy that, he enjoys it just as much if not more when he does. He enjoys getting to look down at you, and see you come undone at his touch. Call it vanilla, but this man loves being able to watch your face during sex, being able to look into your eyes is a BIG thing for this man.

[istoleyoursk1n]

Could I request a durge who, while they have more control of their urges than most other Bhaalspawn, will sometimes blurt the urges out in conversation to try and get someone to help them stop doing it just in case they try? It's half sweet and half chaotic, because on one hand, aw durge trusts them! But also, durge and the character were just having a nice evening stroll in a park when they turned to the character and bluntly said "Can you tie me down before I kill that couple over there?"

With Roland, Dammon and Wyll please!

•❅───────────✧❅✦❅✧───────────❅•

How would Rolan, Dammon, and Wyll react to a Durge who blurts out their urges?

Context: Durge starts blurting unhinged things out like “Can you tie me down before I kill that could over there?!” (I find this so funny)

.

.

: ̗̀➛ ROLAN

“Gods damnit again?! What is it, the fourth time this week?! Can you behave enough to whisper when you utter those violent little thoughts of yours? It's like you want every damn person here to hear you! You’re embarrassing us both y’know!”

You what?! <— His live reaction caught in 4k

He’s well aware of your urges by now but they never fail to startle him. You always seem to blurt them out during the worst times too. He’s spilled his drink once because of you!

He goes from having to quickly shush your mouth by placing his own hand over it, to not so subtly scooting you away from everyone, and then having to use every damn magic trick in the book just to keep you from lunging at people.

He seems more annoyed than scared to be honest, having to scold you once again about ‘not ruining happy couples’ and to ‘stop trying to bite that dwarves leg’.

The whole situation ends up looking like both of you play fighting or Rolan trying to tend to a rabid dog. Either way, it's absolutely hilarious to everywhere who may bear witness to it all.

Eventually, when he's managed to get you to calm down, he’d be able to help talk things out with you, finding out proper ways on how this ‘urge’ of yours could be tamed without the need of you hurting yourself or others.

To his dismay, he cares for you deeply and despite it all, he’d be willing enough to help you through each and every one of your urges no matter how much of a hassle it all is to overcome.

And hey! If someone truly does piss him off, he has you to rely on to immediately go chasing after the poor soul with bared teeth.

: ̗̀➛ DAMMON

“Hells, just hold onto me okay? We’ll get you home and away from this crowd if you think the urges are getting far too overwhelming. Don't you worry, we’ll be back in no time, just squeeze my hand and it’ll all be alright.”

He kind of just stood there awkwardly at first when he first heard you blurt out your urges. He’s so surprised by them that he needs to blink five times before actually processing what you just said.

It would be during the most unsuspecting times too like whenever the both of you were relaxing together side by side whilst eating a nice warm meal then suddenly you’d say something along the lines of ‘dwarf tastes better’.

He’s very much concerned about you and your mental state but he cares for you enough to listen and lend you a hand whenever you do decide to blurt out your urges.

At least then it gives him a clear sign as to when he should be tying you down or locking you in a room for the day.

He hates having to tie you up when your urges get worse, seeing you lash about and growl at him just pains him because he can't imagine the amount of stress you actually going through just to hold yourself back.

He’s probably been scratched by you a few times while he was trying to calm you down but he never once took it against you. Instead, those became his favorite scars all cause they came from you.

He would stay with you no matter how dangerous you say you are. He’d make sure that you’d have food and he’d feed you every time you’re mind was too scattered to eat yourself during the moments when you had to be tied up; for even the fear of dying by your hands does not scare him.

Though it does become an actual shitshow during the times he actually has to wrestle you down. It's funny to watch but Gods does it exhaust him.

: ̗̀➛ WYLL

“By the hells, Is it that time again? Alright, calm down, just breathe with me okay? You're going to be just fine. Now quickly, let's get you somewhere safe before the worst comes to show, I doubt you’d want that poor couple overhearing what you said.”

He goes wide-eyed concerned for a moment as soon as your violent urges suddenly come out of your mouth. He truly could never not be shocked for when and where you say such things.

He’s somehow extremely prepared for it though that it's mildly concerning.

The first step is to take you away from any person aside from him in sight, if you are close to home, even better! But ideally, he either takes you to a secluded forest or an alleyway.

Next, he very gently restrains you whilst reassuring you that everything is going to be just fine. Better to restrain you while you're still in control of your own thoughts rather than when you go full-on feral mode.

He even has a timer for it. If for an hour or so you don't act up and remain calm then he lets you go but if you start lashing out then he knows it’s time for him to probably pull an all-nighter just to make sure you and the others don't get hurt. Note that either way, he stays with you.

He’ll be your number-one supporter in helping you control and contain your violent urges, always giving you hope in times when all you can see is blood red.

He’ll always have a plate of food ready for you when the urges finally settle and you’re back in the right state of mind. Perhaps even a warm bath if you're both in the comforts of your home.

Truth be told, the real reason he stays by your side is not just cause he cares but because one moment he looked away for about ten seconds, and you suddenly disappeared. The poor man nearly had a panic attack.

•❅───────────✧❅✦❅✧───────────❅•

[pika-ace]

TWST Disney Knowledge Yuu Part 3

Part 1 ; Part 2

Trey: We'll use Walrus brand Young Oyster sauce

Yuu: NO WAY, those baby oysters deserved better!

Ace: Are you okay?

Yuu: Do you know how much that damn scene traumatized me?!

Trey: Okay okay, I was kidding anyway!

—————

(Yuu arguing with the teachers)

Vargas: Is that a threat, pipsqueak?

Yuu: Try me, Gaston >:(

Crewel: Such a disobedient pup!

Yuu: Go drive off a bridge, Cruella >:(

Trein: I won’t tolerate disobedience here!

Yuu: Let’s see you stop me, Lady Tremaine >:(

Ace: Hey, I’m all for insults but why do you call them that?

Yuu: Those guys are real bastards where I come from

—————

Azul: Collect a photo of a school field trip of Prince Rielle’s class

Yuu: Rielle…? …*realizes* Oh my god! XD Is he a redhead? Tell me this Rielle is a redhead!

Azul: How did you-

—————

(If Yuu was left behind after the monster attack during Vargas camp)

Yuu: Alright, who’s not dead? Sound off!

Ruggie: Wait to be morbid…

—————

(At the fireworks festival)

Trey: I got these hourglasses for Ace and Deuce

Yuu: Do they turn big and trap you inside of them?

Trey: What-

Yuu: Good.

—————

(Monkey steals things from tourists)

Yuu: ABU, YOU LITTLE SHIT, I SHOULD'VE KNOWN!

Kalim: Who is-

—————

(In the Tea Garden)

Yuu: Hey, do any of these mushrooms make you shrink or grow?

Cater: …

Deuce: …

Ace: …Why the FUCK would they-

—————

Neige: *appears*

Yuu: Oh my god, the Disney Princesses DO exist here! O_O

—————

Riddle: Is the tea ready?

Trey: Yes, there’s even a dormouse asleep in the teapot

Yuu: *out loud and on purpose* Is one of the rules that we’re not allowed to say CAT? >:3c

Dormouse: *GOES APESHIT*

Riddle: WHY WOULD YOU-

—————

Yuu: I wonder if this world has Siri?

Vil: *to phone* Mira Mira, who’s the most beautiful one of all?

Yuu: *bursts out laughing*

—————

Riddle: A toast; very merry unbirthday!

Heartslabyul: A very merry unbirthday!

Yuu: Aww, we don’t get to sing the song? :(

Cater: What song…?

—————

(Not Disney related, but I thought it was funny)

(During Ghost Marriage Giant Chubby fight)

Yuu: HEY! STAY-PUFT MARSHMALLOW MAN! Why don't you pick on someone your own size!!

Rook: The things that come out of your mouth...

((Bonus))

Chubby and Eliza: (fall in love)

Ace: Huh????

Yuu: Seriously, has NO ONE here seen a rom-com?

And now, Disney Knowledge Yuu: Musical Edition

(While cleaning Ramshackle)

Yuu: *starts singing Whistle While you Work*

(Finishes song and finds they’re already done)

Yuu: …Holy shit, did I just musical montage myself?

Ghosts: *lowkey terrified*

—————

(At Heartslabyul)

Yuu: *singing* Painting the roses red...painting the roses red...

Ace: *softly* What are they doing???

Deuce: *softly* I don't know...!!

—————

All seven Blot Monster Dwarves: (attacking the students)

Ace: What do we do??

Yuu: ...*sings* HEIGH HOOOOOOOOO!!

Everyone: ...

Blot Dwarves: ......heigh hoooooo...!

Yuu: Holy shit, that actually worked...! (leads the monsters away with the song Heigh-Ho)

Vil: What...did I just witness...?

Cater: *filming the whole thing* I have no idea...

[britcision]

The important part of the Vimes theory of monarchy is that it actually applies to every power structure, every organization

Is the person at the top good?

What about their underlings? They all have to be good too

It’s why Carrot never actually outs himself as the king, but it’s equally important to every other part of the watch series and Ankh Morpork itself

And Vetinari is its strongest adherent

See, Ankh Morpork only works the way it does because of the presence of four key players:

- Vetinari

- Vimes

- Carrot

- Lady Sybil Ramkin

(You could make an argument for Colon and Nobby too but I digress)

Without all four of these people, and their interpersonal reactions, the well ordered and prosperous city we see later on couldn’t exist

You can tell, because it very literally didn’t until Carrot arrived, and a dragon showed up to coincidentally introduce Vimes to Lady Sybil

Ankh Morpork was a mess and a hotbed of crime and fuckery, and you never saw many species other than humans; always one or two, but as thriving subcultures? As the influential business owners and captains of industry dwarves and trolls became?

No

Vetinari, the man on top of the pile, couldn’t finish shaping the city into a neat and well running machine without an additional stabilizing force; something outside the guilds to keep the law, and he did not have that in the alcoholic Vimes

Vimes could not reform first himself and then the watch without the combination of optimistic ideals and muscle to back them up (physical or social) that Carrot and Lady Sybil brought; without them, the watch was something to step over

Carrot couldn’t grow to understand the complexity of the city or the moral problems of control without a cynical, experienced Vimes to show him just why kings don’t solve everything

And Lady Sybil never had a reason to push for the betterment of her city until she directly met someone who wanted more, and would do anything to get it

If any one of them hadn’t stepped up and done their own thing, in their own way, none of it would have worked

By Men At Arms, the second watch book, Vimes is already seeing how many doors Lady Sybil opens for him. He can demand entry to the Assassin’s Guild because he owns the fucking land it’s built on

Lady Sybil knows Vetinari by his first name, and her little address book is the strongest tool in the arsenal of persuasion on the whole Disc

Sam Vimes persuades her the goblins need to be cared for, but Sybil Ramkin persuades the world

Sweet, uncynical Carrot arrives in Ankh Morpork believing you stop thieving by arresting the head of the thieves’ guild - and then fucking does it

It doesn’t work, because he doesn’t understand the mechanism yet, but it makes a point

Carrot is a narrative force that the flow of the Discworld curves around, just like Granny Weatherwax (and he was raised in the Ramtops by Lancre, they probably met)

He’s got the strength of ten because his heart is pure and his muscles thicc and finally, finally, Vimes has met someone who can actually back up all the ideals he’s left to rot in the bottom of a bottle

With Carrot in the watch, why can’t they arrest a dragon? Who’s going to stop them? He’s not just a brick shithouse, he’s a likeable brick shithouse and everyone wants to see what he’ll do next

Carrot? Carrot cares about people, about all people

He’s ready to speak for the people with no voices, and more importantly he’s ready to shut up and listen to those people about what they need

He’s the idealistic core of the modern watch

Lady Sybil pours in funding, respectability, power, and woe betide a single noble in the city who wants to talk down to her husband’s watch

She’s the backbone that gives those ideals staying power

Vimes has already seen what happens when they fail, and seen enough of human nature not to trust a damn thing, and knows how important it is to have true accountability

Compared to Vetinari, he’s almost as idealistic as Carrot, but he has the taste of reality

He’s the determination, the unshakeable core of militant decency who, if he can, will always stand

Vetinari likes to think that everyone is utterly awful all of them time, and often he’s proven right. But he knows the power of narrative, the power of a true Good Man, especially one with the right support

He knows what people need to thrive, and how to best use their potential

He’s the shepherd of it all, the city and watch combined, and any shepherd will tell you the difference a well trained sheepdog makes

Even if it’s a terrier

That’s why it never works that way in real life

“Organized crime” means something very different in the real world, and we need a lot more than just four good people to hold society together

It only takes one corrupt person and the result is cronyism and worse

[chuuyrr]

That Vessel AU was amazing! Can I request Quen of curses! Scarlet witch dealing with Mahito, like the moment he touched her soul and her saving Junpei….that living Mahito thrash bag dwarves PAIN

queen of curses! scarlet witch! reader deals with mahito — a jjk AU

jujutsu kaisen x reader

masterlist of the series | first part

╰➤ CW(s): major spoilers for jujutsu kaisen, major changes have been made to the canon story, scarlet witch! reader takes the place of king of curses! ryomen sukuna in this AU, detailed fight scenes and reference to multiverse of madness

╰➤ SYNOPSIS: instead of baby fushiguro or the reader being the scarlet witch and megumi's little sibling, in this AU, you are the so-called queen of curses, the scarlet witch, who had been sealed off for hundreds of years, until you had been awakened by itadori yuuji who becomes your vessel.

╰➤ SONG SUGGESTION(s): dark horse by katy perry

╰➤ PAIRING(s): jujutsu kaisen x reader

the red stains on your hands were caused by the loss of your parents, brother, friends, husband, and children—it was the terrifying nightmare that had entrapped you.

even if you destroyed every book of the damned and your past was already behind you given that you were no longer in your original world and had instead found yourself in this world full of curses, the damage was still fresh, so you consented to being sealed in this world to ensure that no monster ever again hurt anyone and to keep your beloved children from another world safe and away from you.

after all, you were far more dangerous than all of the cursed spirits put together, with the monstrosity of a power, grief, remorse, and guilt you possessed. it is why jujutsu sorcerers have dubbed you the queen of curses.

but things changed for the better when itadori yuuji became the vessel of the scarlet witch, the so-called queen of curses.

you were dragged from the deep and dark waters where you had drowned. you've finally awoken from the nightmare you've been trapped in. meeting this young boy, hearing and seeing his pure heart reach out to yours—it was as if you were seeing colors for the first time.

yuuji had given you another chance, and you weren't about to blow it. you weren't going to become the monster you'd painted yourself to be. so, despite possessing him, you remained dormant.

at the very least, you try.

you just can't help yourself at times.

you just haven't had someone in a long time, and the way yuuji resembles your children makes you protective of him.

isn't that what every mother does in the first place? to be protective of their children?

even if it meant killing those curses and occasionally taking control of his body to ensure his wounds nor the danger he was facing doesn’t kill him. you were certainly a little unhinged for that, but you were already dead set on protecting him at all costs. you weren't exaggerating when you said you'd do anything for him. 

so here you were, hands trembling as you glared at the cursed spirit known as mahito through the eyes of yuuji.

you've been dormant the entire time, letting yuuji do his own thing and learn from nanami kento, the jujutsu sorcerer introduced to him who reminds you of vision, your late husband, about remnants of cursed energy as they proceeded with the mission assigned to him, with you only appearing to help yuuji when he needs it.

everything was going well. yuuji had already moved on from the cursed spirits that were once human he faced before together with your and nanami’s help. he even made a friend of a young boy of his age named junpei. you couldn’t be more happy, but then, came the fall.

junpei had been manipulated by this awful cursed spirit, both figuratively and literally speaking. that bastard of a curse had transfigured junpei’s soul, just when he and yuuji had made amends with yuuji insisting that he should come to jujutsu tech, and to hell with it too, he hurt yuuji. your precious son. 

"junpei! junpei! get a hold of yourself!" screamed yuuji as he struggled against the newly transformed curse he was holding. he couldn’t hurt him. of course not. 

you were already slowly slipping from yuuji’s control. you were on the edge. fingers twitching. your red glowing eyes were already dilated, but you had to remain dormant until yuuji himself gave you his word.

'call out to me, yuuji', you thought. 

mahito watched in amusement as yuuji raised his chin up, crying to you as a last resort.

"[NAME]-SAN! i'll do anything!" yuuji exclaimed in desperation with tears in his eyes, "you are free to do whatever you want with me! please heal junpei as you have healed me!"

mahito’s eyes widened, an unhinge smile curving his lips as a deep red tiara manifested and framed yuuji’s face, his brown eyes instantly becoming a menacing, glowing red color as red psionics seeped from his hands.

'just this once again', you thought as you took control of yuuji’s body the same you had when you had used dreamwalking in the past.

you put your chaos magic to work. now, mahito’s technique allows him to transfigure any soul he touches, but you, on the other hand, were capable of doing so much more than that. you can manipulate reality with your chaos magic. 

if you were capable of removing a man’s mouth from existence and turning a man into string cheese like nothing back during your prime, then this was a mere child’s play. the cursed spirit watched in amusement as the boy he transfigured transformed back into his normal self as he glowed red.

as your chaos magic healed junpei, mahito found himself staring into yuuji’s red glowing eyes—your eyes.

his grin merely grew wider. he could feel it. the weighty pressure of your immense power was comparable to a special grade, but most of all, he could feel your emotions too. mahito wasn’t just feeling your vessel’s rage, but yours too, it was far more greater, and you shared it along with your vessel as he laughed ever so delightly.

you gently placed his unconscious body to sit upright against the wall after healing and restoring junpei's body to normalcy after having his soul transfigured. you whispered in a motherly tone with your cold hand cupping his cheek, "it's going to be alright, you're okay now."

"oh? i was hoping for him to be dead already!" mahito exclaimed, wiping a fake tear, "guess that’s how it goes."

allowing yuuji to take control of his own body, he took aim and punched the curse in the face with a closed fist that was imbued in red psionics, causing mahito to fling back but still stand up.

"that won’t work. so long as i maintain the shape of my—he paused. blood oozed from his nose and dripped down on his chin; mahito’s eyes widened at that instant.

'what’s going on?! he struck the shape of my soul as well?' you found yourself smirking at mahito's priceless reaction.

pesky little curse.

it isn’t just because itadori yuuji is your vessel and that he was aware of the counters of the soul, what you possessed wasn’t even cursed energy in the first place, it was chaos magic.

the next words that spilled from yuuji's lips came from so deep within himself that it nearly made everything he'd ever said a lie, but to be fair, with him housing the soul of the queen of curses or the scarlet witch herself, it would only make sense. your souls were linked together right now; yuuji's rage and your rage combined.

"i will kill you," was what the curse heard from you both, and he laughed at this.

mahito licked his lips in anticipation, "don’t you mean you’ll “exorcize” me,  jujutsu sorcerer?"

you scoffed to yourself as you secretly entered mahito's mind. he was correct about your vessel not caring about his own life, but now you know who is pulling the strings. “geto suguru” had forbidden him from using hostages to force him into an external pact. his next set of thoughts, however, had crossed the line.

'i’ll just transform every single student until he forces a pact with the queen of curses and make her come out.'

yuuji lunged at mahito, imbuing his closed fist with the red psionics of your chaos magic once more and repeatedly threw punches to the point where the floor and walls broke from the immense strength as mahito dodged with him, occasionally transfiguring his own soul.

however, as mahito conjured himself wings, yuuji conjured a ball of red psionics and aimed it at him, then another, and another, oblivious to the fact that the surrounding area was breaking down.

"he keeps changing his soul, [name]-san," said yuuji with a frown, calling out to you once more.

"it’s only natural of him to do so. he knows that our attacks work on him, therefore he’ll transfigure his soul that is built for murder," you responded and warned him, "watch out, yuuji!"

yuuji's eyes widened for a brief moment as his entire body glowed red from your chaos magic, which was immediately activated to get him moving. his body moved subconsciously to avoid the bladed whips that mahito had transfigured from his arm until he eventually synched his own movement with your power's guidance, performing flips and evading of his own.

yuuji conjured another luminous ball of your red psionics and destroyed a portion of the wall, jumping through the hole to flee from the curse while carrying junpei's unconscious body that was being held and protected by a force field generated by your magic and landing safely with your magic cushioning his fall into a proper and safe landing.

you put your red psionics into action and placed junpei's unconscious body to safety, a good distance away from you and mahito, and somewhere where he will be more precisely spotted as your vessel readied into a stance.

mahito transformed his hand into a drill and fired it at yuuji, who easily caught and grabbed it. even if mahito had transfigured spikes to rise from the part of himself that yuuji was holding, your vessel clenched tightly and dragged the curse all the way down towards him, unconcerned about the blood seeping from the wounds in his palms.

yuuji gathered more of your red psionics in his hands and aimed them at the ground, causing a collision that would result in smoke. using the smokescreen, yuuji crept towards mahito and punched him in the gut, using your power to hit harder, but he deflected the blow. Instead of recoiling, mahito transfigured his soul and caused spikes to emerge from his body, puncturing the body of your vessel.

"you can't beat me," mahito exclaimed, pressing a hand against yuuji's torso, "so swap out with the queen of curses already... idle transfiguration..."

however, it didn't take long for mahito's eyes to widen as he heard your voice and sensed the immense power you possessed, "you want me that badly? then come get me yourself, fool."

instead of swapping out and taking control of itadori yuuji's body, you manipulated mahito's soul and dragged him right to where you were—the domain you resided within the depths of your vessel's soul.

mahito's gaze was fixed directly on yours. there you were, sitting crisscrossed, floating ever so elegantly dressed in the scarlet witch's regalia and robes, surrounded by tao mandalas and a stricken ominous pressure of red on an altar that had pentagrams and symbols as broken columns that were remnants from the throne you briefly housed back in your original world in mount wundagore surrounded yuuji's inner soul.

"you know, i'm not like the other curse that is supposed to house this vessel," you said venomously as you stared down at him, "i'm not even a curse, all of you dare call me as the queen of curses. but either way, there will be no second time—i'm not going to let you do any more harm to my child, let alone to that young boy you manipulated and jujutsu sorcerer waiting in the physical world."

mahito watched as you uncrossed your legs and levitated towards him in a quick forward motion, not giving him enough time to react because your hand was already gripping his throat.

nanami kento arrived on the scene, rushing towards junpei's unconscious body. as he did so, he noticed a red tiara forming on yuuji's head, framing his face. as he watched the young boy's movement on its own, his supposedly punctured hand moved to grip mahito's throat, perfectly mirroring what was happening in the astral plane or inside of yuuji. nanami saw the red glow in yuuji's brow irises and knew immediately what it was.

"shit," nanami cursed as mahito proceeded to activate his domain expansion despite being restrained mentally and physically by you. 

due to its capacity, the domain expanded long and wide, reaching nanami kento's distance, but it was still useless. your eyes glowed a menacing red as your nails dug into and pierced his skin. your raw strength writhed the curse. his breathing became ragged as he struggled, transfiguring himself to cast spines and tendrils to attack you, but you easily retaliated with your free hand using your red psionics. whatever attack was directed at you or yuuji, your chaos magic easily rendered it useless.

you threw him back, conjured a much larger and stronger ball of red than yuuji's, and sent a hex beam straight at him. mahito immediately transfigured a part of himself to protect himself, but you easily broke through with your power. you blitzed right towards him, almost at the speed of sound, your red psionics blazing wildly from your fingertips.

just as nanami had witnessed the massacre through yuuji enacting your actions in the physical world, mahito's body was cut in half, resulting in an outburst of blood. nanami froze, unsure whether it was a good idea to close in and help yuuji.

whatever power itadori yuuji possessed from serving was clearly not from their world, and it was far more powerful than cursed energy or any technique put together.

before mahito could further transfigure himself and use his domain expansion against him and yuuji, a red mist and strange sokovian whispers filled the air, and you vanished, only to reappear again behind him this time. despite having faced countless of curses, nanami stood there, unable to comprehend what he was seeing that all he could do was grip his bandaged blade.

sharp black claws wrapped around the curse's face like a malevolent vengeful spirit out for blood, and the next thing nanami knew in the physical world, he was no longer staring at itadori yuuji, but a monster, the same monster that resided inside yuuji and had bloody red glowing eyes, pointed teeth, and decaying skin, and ripped the curse's neck open instead of just snapping it.

nanami caught a fleeting glimpse of your monstrosity and corrupted form, the result of being possessed by the darkhold's lies in your previous world years ago, before it faded back to yuuji's actual appearance.

the broken body of the curse collapsed to the ground as it writhed and oozed blood. the red glow in yuuji's eyes, as well as the red tiara that framed his face, flickered and vanished into thin air.

the pink-haired boy blinked profusely, slightly disoriented until it dawned on him. you had taken control over his body. he saw what happened within him when mahito made the cross with his soul, which was now linked to yours, and he mirrored it back in the physical world, as strange as it was.

yuuji's eyes widened as he realized the outcome of his and your rage. his numb fingertips twitched as he gradually regained control. he then looked up at the ex-salaryman before moving his gaze to mahito's body and swallowing hard, "nanamin.."

"itadori!" nanami suddenly cried out. 

they both turned around to see mahito's body come to life despite having lost blood. their eyes widened as they saw the curse used his last cursed energy to make himself enormous.

yuuji jumped into action and dashed straight towards mahito. he immediately imbued his fist with your red psionics and charged at him, but mahito popped and vanished at the speed of light, bolting towards the sewers. nanami followed suit, brandishing his wrapped blade, but mahito had already escaped.

nanami took out his phone and dialed his comrade's number to alert his combrade of mahito who had fled, but the moment he turned around to ask yuuji if the two of them should chase after the curse, yuuji's body collapsed to the floor.

"itadori-kun!" nanami exclaimed, his eyes widening as he realized his body had been severely injured.

nanami bolted towards the yuuji, leaving junpei behind only to pause on his tracks when the atmosphere was filled with an oppressive pressure. the feeling was similar to what he and other jujutsu sorcerers would experience in the presence of a vengeful spirit.

nanami's eyes widened as he cautiously backed away, watching yuuji's unconscious body rise from the ground, his previously broken and dislocated limbs popping back into place as the open wounds on his body and palms stitched themselves back—your chaos magic practically running through his veins like a rush of blood.

nanami found himself holding his breath as he stared into yuuji's eyes, which were still a glowing red color with his face framed by your same red intricate tiara. his heart stopped, but he was quite relieved to see no decaying skin or sharp talons.

nanami's brows furrowed in concern as he slowly raised his bandaged sword, knowing full well that the person he was seeing right now was you and not yuuji, "where's itadori?"

"yuuji is still unconscious," you explained calmly, looking at the blonde man who stiffened up when he heard your feminine and siren-like voice instead of the boy's, "he pushed the limits of his own body while using my power and fighting against the curse with numerous wounds."

"but i suppose i took it too seriously when yuuji asked me to save junpei and told me i could do whatever i wanted," you sighed, resting your chin between your pointer and thumb as your gaze drew over junpei's body, "either way, that scum of a curse deserves a painful death. being sealed for so long made me rusty. i'm terribly sorry for that."

with that, you smiled at nanami and closed your eyes, saying, "i can sense that yuuji is about to wake up soon, so i'll leave him and the boy in your care now. again, i apologize for letting the curse escape, and for scaring you."

nanami blinked at your words. who knew someone as evil and monstrous as you could be so sweet? it baffled him. he then watched as the red tiara that framed yuuji's face vanished into thin air, along with the red glow in his eyes.

yuuji let out a sharp gasp of air as he regained consciousness once again after showing mahito his place while being under your control and nearly tripped on his own feet, prompting nanami to support him by the back.

as nanami did so, he couldn't help but think one thing—there really is something within itadori yuuji that must not be touched—and it was you, the scarlet witch, the queen of curses.

[ author's notes ! AAAAA i finally finished it oh my god. tbh, i really had a good time writing because mahito deserved that beating lol and junpei's alive in this au hooray. hope you didn't mind me adding a nanami and scarlet witch! reader interaction too. oh, and i would also like to clarify that ...

scarlet witch! reader knows of ryomen sukuna due to having knowledge of the multiverse 👀

unlike in the canon story, it only took one attempt for mahito to get thrashed by scarlet witch! reader while it took two tries for him to get his ass beaten by sukuna when he dared to touch yuuji's soul.

again, thank you so so much for requesting this dear anon. hope you enjoyed this 3,000+ words of my writing ( ˘͈ ᵕ ˘͈♡) ]

[immaturityofthomasastruc]

Turns out, the writers wanted to, and stop me if you've heard this before, play with the tropes and symbolism of fairy tales. Wow, I've never seen any kind of pop culture do that before... except for Into the Woods, The Princess Bride, Hook, Shrek, Princess Tutu, Ella Enchanted, Hoodwinked!, Enchanted, Tangled, Once Upon a Time, Frozen, RWBY, Ever After High, Red Shoes and the Seven Dwarves, Guillermo del Toro's Pinocchio, and Nimona. But other than those, that's so original!

Dude, I don't know why, but that gave off so many Nostalgia Critic vibes. I'm sorry if it gets annoying mentioning him so many times on your blog, but damn that was just funny. Bravo man. 👏

It's okay. I used to watch him a lot when I was in high school, so I guess a bit of his comedic style influenced me when writing that part.