#UGHHH LET THE SEASON END

[sophfandoms53]

It’s the fact that the legend that is Cirie isn’t even being taken out by some huge strategic move that was concocted to outplay her social game and rip the rug out from under her but instead she’s being taken out by two men who’s only game moves have been winning practically every competition since jury started with no real strategy behind them and Fucking Bowie Jane

[thunderstomm]

The more I think about the finale of A New Wish, the more I can’t help but think it’s going to play out as a tragedy. That Dev & Hazel will be cemented as rivals, or their friendship will be a bittersweet “what could have been”.

Dev is a tragic character. He is a product of his environment, and he acts accordingly. And those actions will almost definitely have consequences. I can’t help but wonder “what if he loses Peri”?

Would really hammer in the fact that fairies and wishing cannot help every kid.

Magic hasn’t exactly been good for Dev, it’s been making him worse with every new piece of information he finds out. Dev makes a lot of empty wishes, chasing a fleeting feeling of happiness, because the only thing he really wants- his Dad’s love -is something he can’t wish for.

I think the finale is going to be Dev’s moment of “flying too close to the sun”, and we’ll see him fall. He’s offered a supporting figure, and it’s still not enough, because it’s not the one he wants.

And as a result, he loses everything. His fairy, and his friend. And even after all that, he’s still not got his father’s love.

(Regarding Hazel’s rule free wish- I feel like it’ll be used to save Fairy World in some regard.)

This is all theorising, and I could be proven wrong ! I would LOVE a happier ending for Dev, because I do think he deserves friends, and a support system. Perhaps they could explore that in a second season, if we end up getting this tragic route.

[palukoo]

okay I am interrupting my gonch posting to say. wtf dead to me that was the worst possible ending like. I quite literally could not have come up with an ending that bad what the hell

[omgsuperstarg]

Shut up and Drive- Toto Wolff x Assistant! Reader

Another one shot with the Capricorn King Toto Wolff. I hope yall like it and subscribe for more

This short is based on this video with him and his lovely wife Susie!!! Ughhh I live for them soo much, they're such a cute and POWERFUL COUPLE!!!!

Alright!!! Let's burn some rubber!!!!!!!!!!

As one of Toto's assistants, it's stipulated that you keep him on track of his appointments and all drama that entails throughout the day. You had your fair share of chaos and it always goes on overdrive on a race weekend. Right now the team is currently in Miami for another Race for the 2023 season and with the sweltering sun and hotter cars it was shaping up to be another fun weekend.

This is your outfit. imagine the Mercedes shirt replacing the blouse

Your gloves

You were multitasking between your computer and Toto and Bono as they analyzed data before the race kicked off when suddenly your best friend and Mercedes' Social Media moderator Jessica approached you.

"Y/N just the girl I wanted to see, I have a fun assignment for you," She says smiling evilly

"Oh boy, I know im gonna regret life choices ", I respond playfully scared.

"Don't worry love, you're going to be doing this assignment with Toto so you'll be safe. How do you feel about driving around the BOSS", she says wringing her hands like a bond villain.

"What are we waiting for, LETS GOO!!", you say pulling her towards the beloved team principal.

Once Toto was caught up to speed, both you and Toto proceeded to the vehicle with your cell phone out to capture it all.

Entering the car, you strapped in your seatbelt and began to record your POV.

"Okay guys, here I am bout to be driven around the track by my Boss. If you don't hear from me again you know who to look at", you say while flipping the camera to show your boss.

"Don't worry, you'll be completely fine and ill even drive slow", the statuesque man sounds while patting my shoulder in a comforting way.

"You say that now but I know the gears be running in your head on ways to torment me. I can feel this is your hazing ritual for me since I'm new," you say while giggling. Your face however is still sceptical, the car begins moving as you begin to further document your trip and that's when the chaos starts.

Toto pumps the gas without warning and the speed was astounding like any adrenaline junkie you begin to cheer in delight.

"Wooooo, this is what im talking bout. It's official I'm petitioning for Toto to be a stunt driver!!", you say as your body slightly moves with the car as it turns.

"I wonder if the fans petitioned you to be James Bond, cuz you have the vintage look of the early movies but a lot more gentlemanly. "you say as you whip your head to the statuesque Austrian.

"A few times, I thought about acting, but I figured it wasn't my place.", he says wistfully.

"Alright boss man,it's the final turn. Give me some speed and remember, if I aint feeling some kind of G force you going too slow."you say while giggling.

You take notice of his playful smile,which resembles a wolfish grin. You couldn't help but snap a picture to remember the moment. This should be one of the main pictures of the post. Sadly, all things must end. Finally, it's your turn.

You decided to wear your fingerless leather gloves for this moment and connect your phone to the car's radio since you have the perfect song in mind.

"Okay, now I have one of my lovely assistants to take her little spin round the track," the leader responds with his Austrian accent shining through.

I'm lovely?!?! Aweee sir, you flatter me, but I hope you don't mind if I put on a little music for us to cruise to, "you say, smiling in glee.

So you turn the radio up and started off slow. After the road was clear, I went full-on fast and furious.

You were hitting those turns like the drivers on the track.

"I hope you're enjoying yourself boss", you state while keeping eyes on the road and jamming to the song on the radio. "I can truly say that this is an experience. I love your touch of the gloves and playing Rihanna is quite fitting for the situation", he speaks with his joyful laugh filling your ears.

"I never thought you would be a Rihanna fan", playfully gasping at his statement. You can thank my eldest daughter for that", he says.

"Are you sure you're not a driver?", the boss man playfully asks. "No, I wish. Maybe if I have gotten into it from a young, now I would've been turning heads but I'm happy where I am, I still get to be in a world I love with the most chill team EVER!!", you say getting a little emotional.

The car slows down as you return to the pits, wishing the time wasn't over. After exiting you gave Toto a hug thanking him for a great time as well as for putting up with your crazy fun.

"I enjoyed it and I sure as hell wouldn't mind doing a carpool karaoke with you the next time",

"I've already made note of it sir and Im looking forward to hearing THAT VOICE", you say as you conclude your heart-to-heart heading back to the garage to observe the good chaos of race day.

[coalswriting]

soccer stares - shauna shipman

summary - (y/n) didn't want to watch the last big soccer match of the season, but thanks to some misfortune, she wasn't given much of a choice (approx 1.6k words)

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

being related to coach ben had its perks. you were able to get out of doing pe for the year, instead opting to ‘help him in the office’ (doing homework). you could also hide in his office when you felt too tired to go to class, though he often scolded you for it. still, you were his little sister and he loved you to bits, so at the end of the day, he always gave in. however, ben was as annoying as he was sweet. he always asked you to try out for the school’s ladies’ soccer team, yellowjackets, and every time he asked you, you would say no almost immediately. you were naturally talented at soccer, but you were also extremely reserved, preferring to read or people watch instead of running around in sweaty, short uniforms. the last time you had played, you must’ve been twelve. you were forced to join a soccer club because of your brother’s ties to the sport, and you complained every. single. practice session. truly, you had no interest in the sport, and you wished you could have nothing to do with it.

one morning, your car broke down on the way to school. everything had been fine, and suddenly, smoke began pooling out of the hood. stopping on the side of the road, you quickly jumped out of the vehicle, checking out the problem. “stupid piece of junk…”, you murmured irritatingly, being unable to pinpoint the cause of the smoke.

you arrived at school an hour late that day. between waiting for your car to be towed, and then having to walk the remaining distance, you were already annoyed. the day was getting off to a horrible start, and now you had to find ben, wherever he was.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

“yeah, of course i can give you a lift home,” ben nodded curtly, leaning against the door to the staff room, “but you know there’s a big match today?”

“ughhh,” you groaned, suddenly understanding why everyone was walking around with yellow and blue painted on their cheeks, “that’s fine, i can just sit in your office until it’s over.”

“no, (y/n), i actually want you to watch the game if that’s okay,” he smiled, as your eyebrows rose in shock.

“is this some weird attempt at you trying to recruit me again?”, you deadpanned, crossing your arms defiantly. you didn’t really mind watching the game, but you had already heard about enough soccer from living with your brother, let alone him trying to convince you to join all the time.

ben shook his head no before replying, “no, it’s just the biggest game of the season. i want as much support for the girls as possible – they’ve been practicing so hard all year. now, no excuses! see you at the game! i’ll leave a spot at the very front of the bleachers open for you.”

before you could reply with some sarcastic remark, ben swung the door of the office open, walking in. you stood for a second, grimacing at the idea of sitting at the front before snapping back into reality. “wait—ben!! I need a late slip!”

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

you begrudgingly sat on your reserved seat as students whistled and chattered amongst themselves. it was quite chilly, considering the time of year, and you felt yourself shiver, pulling your hoodie over yourself. the sky was a beautiful shade of blue with a few odd clouds scattered within it. the sun shone brightly behind you, heating your back up.

you wondered what the girls were doing right now - they were probably in the changing rooms, doing each other’s hair, singing, dancing to music, and bantering. you almost envied it, longing for a close friendship with a team. suddenly, you were pulled out of your thoughts by a pair of two fingers sliding across your cheeks.

“hey!”, you shrieked as your brother laughed, pulling himself away from you before you could punch his arm.

“just popping some paint on you! lighten up and show some support!”, he chuckled, “it’ll be over before you know it.”

almost immediately after, eleven girls ran onto the field in a line. the crowd erupted into a loud cheer as students whistled, screamed, and waved their arms enthusiastically. then the second team ran onto the field, eliciting slightly less enthusiastic cheers. their coach walked over to ben, giving him a firm handshake and began to introduce himself. you watched your brother for a brief moment before focusing on the girls. they chatted amongst themselves, laughing on occasion.

eventually, ben huddled them together and began to talk strategy with them. before you knew it, the game began. there was a ginger girl in the goals, watching the ball intensely. your eyes began to scan the other teammates, noticing a tall, pretty girl with brown hair and curtain bangs, a bleach blonde girl who looked way too alternative to be playing soccer, and then your eyes fell on her. number six. she had dark brown hair with sharp cheekbones. you studied her as if she was a painting, following her as she dashed through the field, dominating the other team with her impressive footwork. she stood out from all the other players, and you couldn’t help but stare. eventually, your worst nightmare came through, her making eye contact with you she was brushing sweaty loose hairs out of her face. she winked at you, smirking a little, and oh no, you melted. she looked like a goddess. you fidgeted with the hems of your hoodie as she got back into the spirit of things, sprinting towards the ball again, much to the dismay of the opposing team.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

once half-time hit, your brother approached you, snapping you out of your longing staring. he followed your gaze, laughing when he noticed number six. “up you get,” he stated, pulling you up by your arm.

“huh?,” you shook your head, looking at him.

“you’re going to hand out water to the team while i go and talk with coach martinez. chop chop!”, he gave you a gentle slap on the back, then turned to talk to his coworker. you grimaced, grabbing the case of waters, and approaching the girls who were all huddled together near a bench. your hands quickly grew sweaty as you walked closer towards number six. you were not mentally prepared to communicate with other people, let alone such an attractive person.

“girls, water!”, number nine announced, turning around towards you. ten more pairs of eyes followed suit, and you suddenly felt extremely small under the pressure of silence. each girl took their turn collecting a water off you, thanking you every time. last but not least, number six came over.

“you’re coach ben’s sister, right?”, she started. upon your affirming nod, she smiled, “awesome! i’m shauna. it’s lovely to finally meet you. he always talks about you.”

“he does?,” you mumbled, barely able to verbalise your words. she was too beautiful, you decided, and at this point, you were doing to fumble her. “what does he say about me?”

“oh,” she giggled, “he just complains about how you won’t join the team. i imagine you hear enough of it at home.”

you looked at her for a moment before sighing, “yeah. soccer’s just not my thing. i wish he’d lay off.”

she nodded along and listened to you as you went on a mini rant. after about thirty seconds, you snapped to your senses, suddenly coming to a stop. your cheeks grew rosy, and you felt yourself become small and uncomfortable in your own shoes. shauna rubbed your upper arm reassuringly, causing you to feel electricity course through your spine. she looked you in the eyes with her intense brown orbs, grinning gently. “soccer’s not your thing, huh?,” she batted her eyelashes, “i don’t know about that, you seemed pretty engrossed in watching me.”

“i.. uhh… err…”, your brain short circuited as you completely forgot how to talk. you looked like a deer in the headlights, causing shauna to smirk devilishly.

“your name?”

“huh?”, you said, before suddenly realising you never introduced yourself. “shit! i’m (y/n).”

she burst into laughter as you spluttered a poor introduction, placing a hand on your shoulder to ground you. “take it easy, it’s all good. i’m only messing with you.”

“i know, i’m sorry. i don’t know what’s gotten into me,” you explain, not wanting to tell the breathtaking brunette that you were feeling Very Gay Thoughts about her.

she finally calmed down, leaning against you as her frame shook from her unsteady breaths; a consequence of laughing so hard. you smiled sheepishly at the ginger girl you saw in the goals earlier as she raised an eyebrow at you. she elbowed her teammate, another girl with gorgeous frizzy brown hair donning the number eight on her jumper, who followed her line of sight. the two of them watched you and shauna sweetly for a moment, before continuing their conversation.  

suddenly, you heard the loud shriek of a whistle as coach ben and coach martinez strutted over. “okay girls!”, ben announced, “huddle!”

shauna gave you a final look. “looks like it’s time for me to go. it was lovely meeting you, (y/n), and i can’t wait to see you watch me at future practices. cute face paint, by the way.”

before you could reply, she ruffled your hair, her hand lingering for a moment. she then left you standing there, jogging towards her team. your entire face must’ve turned a deep crimson shade, as you suddenly became aware of the cool breeze around you. recollecting yourself, you turned on your heel to return to the spot you had previously sat in, excited to watch the remainder of the game.

maybe driving home with ben wasn’t the worst of ideas after all. from there on, you knew that you would watch every single practice and match if it meant being able to admire the pretty brunette again.

[oh-saints]

bowling

what were the odds of the one and only sir lewis hamilton sparing you some time for a mini lesson on mercedes' annual bowling session in japan?

lewis hamilton x merc-crew!OC

word count: 2.3k

tw: nothing

note: blurbs because that particular gif above still sent me UGHHH istg pls sir i just wanna finish GR's part 2 and the mason story i have in mind :(

“who hasn’t had any turns?”

susie wolff was still beaming as she scanned the bowling alley the team had reserved beforehand for the mercedes-amg petronas f1 team’s annual bowling session. the matron—god bless the woman—was visibly trying hard to involve everyone and making sure everyone’s involved, not leaving everyone behind. at the end of the day, the bowling session was an initiative to bring the mobile crew members closer as well as an outlet to let out their stress after going through halfway around the world for a full season of racing.

“you!” susie wolff pointed at the girl at the far back, just as the girl intended to until susie discovered her wishing the earth to swallow her whole so she didn’t have to participate the sport. “how dare you try to slip away from my sight! aletta, you’re next!”

“no, no, no, no, no,” aletta shook her head ferociously she could feel her head going dizzy from the violent shake. “please, no. not me.”

“why not?” george—god, the mischief george—discreetly challenged her to give the rest of the crew a good reason as to why she had to be excluded. she knew because, even without many explicit words being said, george liked to rouse an emotion from her. for god knows what. “are you scared to lose?”

“no!” at george’s raised brow, aletta pursed her lips to give herself a moment to think how to answer george. as much as she enjoyed their bickering, aletta didn’t want to fuel any fire george might be lighting up soon. “it’s not that.”

everyone was expectant of her, of her answer, because everyone had bowled their turns.

except for sir lewis hamilton.

which made everyone realise they were short of one person playing, when the team had registered an even number of people to play today.

fuck it. lewis was brilliant at this—the entire bowling session was sparked by his motive to introduce the crew to one of his favorite sports—and there was no way she could cover her disastrous skills and experience. she didn’t see any choice but to heed to george’s next question.

“then what is it?”

“i can’t bowl for life, okay, george?” aletta let out a heavy huff from her nose. “happy now?”

“then at least try,” susie came down to aletta’s seat before clutching aletta’s hands in hers. “please? for me?”

who was she to deny THE susie wolff, anyway? if she did, she might upset susie, which would upset toto. and upset toto wasn’t the easiest hulk to put down to sleep. god help us all when his emotions were spiked.

“okay,” aletta gave in, pursing her lips hesitantly. “but please teach me how.”

“oh, lewis can teach you!” susie jumped up from the seat beside her and dashed for lewis’ attention. “lewis, will you please give aletta the basics of bowling?”

lewis’ signature light-weighted voice resonated well like it was music to aletta’s ears. “you’ve never played?”

aletta stepped forward timidly, every step she took signalled she was succumbing to the embarrassment of being defeated by susie wolff and her eyes blinking rapidly—a sign she was utterly nervous; not just because she was to humiliate herself in front of hundreds of people, but she was about to step up to sir lewis hamilton. as the new junior social media officer, she was usually attached to george russell instead of handing the meticulous and particular job for the senior driver.

“no…?” aletta instinctively reached for a ball—my days, that is flipping heavy!—to the nerves threatening to spill all over the floor. gross, that would’ve been a whole new level of humiliation. “is that so hard to believe?”

aletta wished lewis wouldn’t catch on how she was struggling to hold the ball but the light vibrations under her feet told her the otherwise.

“nope, wrong ball,” lewis grabbed the shiny object from her hands and put it back where it belonged. “where do you hangout with your friends then?”

“you don’t want the answer to that.”

lewis, for unbeknownst reason to aletta, laughed at her submission before turning around to give her another bowling ball. “try me. but is that still too heavy for you?”

aletta’s eyes widened as she weighed down the ball. she didn’t know there were different types of this thing. “this one’s perfect, thank you.”

lewis nodded in acknowledgement. “you’re holding it wrong but answer me first then we’ll start the basic.”

the younger woman was surprised that the sir lewis hamilton was willing to hear how she lamely spent her time. “we read books together and have a discussion about it.”

“okay, look at how i hold the bowling ball. make sure it’s these three fingers that you put inside those three holes because you’ll hurt your fingers if you don’t,” lewis went ahead to demonstrate it for her before he put it down and corrected the digits she placed in those little, ugly black holes. “ah, yes, i heard your book community.”

“you did?!”

thank god lewis was still holding the hand she placed on the bottom side of the ball, stabilising her as his words sent every fibre of her being out of this world. god knows what’d happen if she dropped the heavy object right to his feet—oh the thought she could’ve jeopardized his next race header raised hairs all over her body.

aletta, in fact, built a strong online community centred to feel woman empowered from books they read. every week she would determine which book to be read to be discussed on the next community discussion. the fantastic engagement on the social media she created for the community was one of the reasons why mercedes hired her in the first place.

but she had no idea—none, nada—that there was a famous figure watching over her account, especially as famous as lewis hamilton. not even george, whom she had been working together from the beginning of this season, knew about the existence of her digital persona.

the shock even alternated her mind from the fact that lewis hamilton was holding her hands. in other circumstances, aletta would’ve gagged at this whole “the prince and the pauper” scene.

“yes, i think it’s impressive how you can unite people through books,” lewis pushed her towards the alley when he was done showing her how to hold the ball. aletta guessed lewis would’ve shaken his head at how ridiculous she was—how could one not know bowling? “you can even make them feel empowered from the characters a fiction book creates. what you do is amazing, is that so hard to believe?”

“it’s more of i can’t believe you’ve heard of the community,” aletta took a shaky breath as lewis corrected her posture this time, to stand a bit straighter. “no one here knows about them except my manager and the hiring team.”

“you really should tell me how you go incognito like that when in reality you have almost half a million followers,” lewis laughed under his breath, probably at his own irony. “now, you’re ready to bowl?”

“never.”

and there was the carefree laugh—the one people always said it sounded like a grandpa wheezing—but to her it was rainbow coming to life. at that moment, aletta got reminded of her sister’s answer to her question of “when do you know you like him?”. the other woman smiled dreamily as she answered, “when you just want to make him laugh all the time.”

“here, watch me.”

it turned out lewis hamilton truly graced the pedestal to teach her how to bowl properly. heck, lewis hamilton went galactic and beyond to lift her from the brink of embarrassing herself further. he went step by step to make sure she got the right posture to get a strike.

susie was the one to call it off the mini tutoring session between lewis and aletta as soon as the matron realised aletta now possessed enough of skills to bowl her first ball without rolling it to the gutter. lewis pushed the small part of her back gently before aletta took her bowling stance—three steps from the line, just as lewis instructed—for the first time ever in her short span of life. but as soon as she let go of the ball, aletta didn’t have the heart to see how many pins she managed to knock out. she didn’t want to get her hopes high after being taught by lewis, only to find george laughing at her result.

but simultaneous cheers she got instead. then the machine voice boomed. strike!

aletta had never turned around so fast in her entire life that it made her head spinning in dizziness. she saw that the machine didn’t lie and that she had, indeed, violently put down the entire set of aligned pins. she could feel her jaw slacking before she realised what she was doing.

on the background, lewis was definitely laughing at her reaction but clapping nonetheless. “you sure this is your first time? you’ve got it in you!”

aletta shook her head. “no way i did that.”

“yes way, missy,” lewis stepped up with his own bowling ball before rolling the shiny object on his own lane. “this is going to be a fun game with you. now it’s your turn again.”

lewis recognise aletta was about to dash for her life so he got a hold of her wrist to stop her from going anywhere. aletta groaned at how fast lewis moved to retaliate her initiation. “can somebody take my place instead?”

“why?”

“because i suck at it, i can feel it!”

“you just hit a strike, who does that on her first ever attempt to bowl?”

“it’s called beginner’s luck, lewis,” aletta rolled her eyes, half with the intention to forget the feeling of lewis’ hands lost from her skin. “we all have that.”

“alright, ms. partypooper,” lewis rolled the sleeves of his black customised sweater and may god forgive aletta for ogling at the sight. “tell you what. if you roll the dice once more and you fail to hit another strike, you can have me do whatever content you’re planning for the next race week.”

her senior social media officer—the one who was responsible for lewis’ appearances on all of mercedes-amg petronas f1 team’s social media—and their direct social media manager jumped elatedly at lewis’ offer in exchange of the challenge. they immediate shouted you can do this! to aletta, even though they were metres away from where aletta and lewis stood. aletta couldn’t even hide the fact that she was tempted at the prize waiting for her at the end of the line because everyone knows lewis didn’t do any more social media stuffs to gain engagement, interactions, or anything that could possibly land him another sponsorship.

(oh to be legends, aletta sighed.)

“you’re being serious?”

lewis raised his eyebrows, giving her what the fuck look. “do i look like i’m joking?”

“nooooooot really… but what’s in it for you?”

lewis only answered her question by handing her another ball fitted for her size as he said, “one way to find out, no?”

aletta could simply lose by not performing well and got the content we all had been waiting for. the thing was, lewis taught her too well for a first-timer that aletta didn’t know how to downgrade the skill she had gained from the world class athlete. she couldn’t even pretend she didn’t know how to bowl anymore, her acting prowess would put pornstars on any podium.

hence, another strike.

this time, aletta didn’t have any time to turn around and avoid digesting reality. everything happened to fast as she focused on not slipping after she threw the ball on the alley that when she stood up, the pins had all already been on the floor, colliding against each other. she gasped at the incredible sight, remained rooted to the ground while the machine swept away the pins clear because fucking hell. aletta didn’t have any athletic bone and now she striked twice?

“told you you’re a natural,”

hairs stood up once more at lewis’ voice came up behind her, gentle as usual but a hint of something more laced behind it. like she should be scared of it. like she should be scared of lewis, for the first time in forever. like she should be scared of what would happen with their dynamics. but may god forgive her for her disinterest to succumb to the fear and wanting to find out what’s in the bag for them. like she just wanted to scream fuck you! to the world and listen to the devil for once.

the pause was killing her because she knew—god did she know—lewis still stood behind her. his breath tickled the back of her ear the only way he knew how, the only way her body alighted at the subtle touch. she wished he’d get this done and over it because my days, aletta couldn’t stand the pregnant tension between them. she was so afraid if she breathed, it’d scatter the bubble and ruin the life of her and she had to walk down the walk of shame.

but maybe aletta should’ve listened to what her mother says. pray in detail; how would God know what you want? aletta had to remind herself to exhale the breath that was caught in her throat, now panting as a result, because bloody hell did she not expect the seam of lewis’ lips grazed down the shell of her ear so featherily she would think she was dreaming if it wasn’t for the next string of words.

“seems like i get to take you for a dinner sometimes. after all, you still owe me the tricks to go incognito.”

[thats-rather-rude]

Editing a rant that I typed in my friend’s dms about something I’d noticed about yuri on ice during my first rewatch of it since 2016:

One of the skating programs Yuuri performs, given to him by Viktor, is the twin of another piece.

We all know the two pieces:

In regards to love - Eros

and In regards to love - Agape

The routine yuuri skates, in regards to love - eros, has a story to it. One we all know.

To summarize the story, in case we’ve forgotten it:

A playboy enters a town, seduces all of the women of the town but one. He becomes infatuated and, I theorize that likely in this story, the infatuation comes from the chase and her resistance rather than a distinctive or remarkable beauty.

Eventually, though, she caves and gives into him, but having gotten what he wanted, the playboy soon grows tired of her and makes his way to the next town, casting her aside…

That’s the story of In Regards to Love Eros, at least the one conjured up Yuuri’s mind.

Originally, Yuuri envisioned himself as the playboy; seducing women left and right and at the end casting the final woman aside.

But that’s not Yuuri… Yuuri’s … not like that.

So instead he envisions himself as the woman that plays hard to get; the one that seduces the playboy and flaunts her beauty/ what he can’t have in his face as he chases and chases her.

But during my rewatch I would sit and wonder each time Yuuri skated to eros, “whos this playboy? Like it can’t be Viktor…” Viktor wouldn’t abandon or cast Yuuri off to the side like that. Viktor LOVES Yuuri. Yuuri INSPIRES Viktor.

So who plays the playboy in this story? Who is Yuuri… seducing and playing hard to get from??? But with the knowledge that eventually he’ll grow tired of Yuuri once Yuuri gives into him fully.

My dumbass.

Who else would it BE FOOL?!

VIKTOR.

Not VIKTOR Viktor. The Viktor Yuuri knows. The idea of Viktor Yuuri had conjured up in his head.

Because that’s how Yuuri THOUGHT Viktor felt about him. Yuuri DOESN’T know the inside of Viktor’s mind as we, the audience, do.

Yuuri, being the self deprecating, anxious, depressed man he is doesn’t, or didn’t, have the FOGGIEST clue how Viktor truly felt about him. He had no idea that his feelings toward Viktor were reciprocated. Viktor is Yuuri’s muse, and Yuuri, Viktor’s.

When Viktor said he was going to be Yuuri’s coach, the entire time Yuuri’s idol was by Yuuri’s side, Yuuri would secretly, at least secretly on Viktor’s end, dread the day of the final and the day that would put an end to Viktor and Yuuri; The day Viktor would leave him.

Yuuri fully believed that Viktor solely came all the way to Hatsetsu to fuck around. That he wanted to be his coach for the year and move on, to leave Yuuri after giving Yuuri everything he could’ve ever dreamed of. How selfish the Viktor in Yuuri’s mind was. A playboy, who could have anybody he wanted, that decided to make Yuuri his next target. Who was Yuuri to deny Viktor that? Who was Yuuri to take Viktor away from the skating scene and not allow Viktor to have his fun?

A FUCKING NOBODY? (At least to Yuuri when he’s japan’s top figure skater but whatever)

Ugh… Each time Yuuri skates to Eros, he’s seducing Viktor, reeling him in while also keeping him at a distance. Then right at the end, he gives in. Let’s Viktor have what he’s always wanted. Then he’s abandoned.

WOW?!

AND UGHHH TO MAKE MATTERS WORSE YURI GENUINELY STARTS GIVING INTO VIKTOR!! OFF THE ICE!! HE TELLS VIKTOR MORE ABOUT HIMSELF, EATS MEALS WITH HIM, BOUGHT VIKTOR AND HIMSELF MATCHING FUCKING RINGS???, THEY SLEEEEPPPPP INNNN THHEEEE SAAAAMMMEEEEEE BEEDDDDDDDDDD, HE STARTS GOING OUT OF HIS COMFORT ZONE TO SHOW THAT VIKTOR ISN’T WASTING HIS TIMEEEE

HE ALLOWS VIKTOR TO KISS HIM GOD DAMN IT.

ALL WITH THE IDEA IN HIS HEAD THAT VIKTOR’S INEVITABLY GOING TO LOSE INTEREST IN HIM AND FORGET ABT HIM ONCE THE SEASON’S OVER.

SICKENINGGGG.

Toward the end of the season Yuuri starts to get desperate, too. Demanding Viktor take him out, “sightseeing”, uncharacteristic, as Viktor points out himself. He wants to spend as much time as Viktor as he can after constantly refusing Viktor’s attempts in the earlier episodes.

Yuuri knows how infatuated with him Viktor is. However, he believes it all to be inherently sexual or just for fun. Just. For. Fun.

When Yuuri tells Viktor how he feels, I feel that’s when Yuuri starts to see that there may be more to Viktor than he’d previously assumed.

When Yuuri brings up his plans to retire, in episode 11-12, brashly saying “Let’s end this”…. VIKTOR FUCKING CRIES.

WOAH!

OKAY?!

Yeah these two are gonna be the DEATH of me.

[pandabyler]

LONG POST AHEAD

hey pooks! this is a continuation of my post about byler songs, and someone asked me to explain these so here u go!

enchanted (taylor swift)

i put this one because it reminds me a lot about the shed scene. "it was the best thing I've ever done" vs "I was enchanted to meet you"

it reminds me of them as a whole, especially the line "please don't be in love with someone else, please don't have somebody waiting on you" and "I've spent forever wondering if you knew" which both talk about their feelings for each other, and will wondering if mike knows how he feels. beautiful song 10/10

2. you belong with me

this one is self-explanatory but its probably the most byler song ever. everything is just so them. will comparing himself to el and feeling like a mistake, and being the one to truly understand mike and his interests. mike wants and needs a lot of things that el cant provide, but will can. "cant you see that I'm the one who understands you? been here all along so why cant you see?" "I'm the one who makes you laugh when you know you're bout to cry" and we've seen will hear up mike when he's sad countless times. 10000/10

3. deja vu

this one reminds me a lot of the byler and mileven parallels. will and mike used to be so close, but now he's spending all of his time with el. "she thinks its special, but its all reused" 9.5/10

4. so american

this one is 10000% in wills pov. to me its about his love for mike. "I'm not gonna...fall in love" -will szn 3 and then season 4 will was just "think I'm in looooooooooooOOOOOOOOVE" (sry this song is just too good) 9.8/10

5. good 4 u

this one is more bitter. it reminds me more of season 3 byler, and how will felt abt mileven. will felt left behind and discarded, and to him, it seemed mike wasn't even fazed (he was) "good 4 u, ur doing great out there without me, baby, GOD I wish that I could do that" 100% in wills pov. 10/10

7. iris (goo goo dolls)

"i just want you to know who I am" will wanting to tell mike how he feels, and that he's gay. this song to me is about their longing for each other, and that they both have secrets they need to be open about. 9/10

8. hear my heart (midnight mantics)

this song is SO SO SO underrated likeee.... but this song is basically about miscommunication, which byler has when it comes to their arguments, and in the end they always sort it out. "my big mistake, was letting you leave when we weren't finished, talking it through" mike to will in s3 and will to mike in s4 9.9/10

9. heather

UGHHH THIS SONG!!! "shes got you mesmerized, while I die" s4 mileven at rink o mania leaving will behind, and all of s3 lollll this song is just so byler 11/10

10. traitor (olivia rodrigo)

def in wills pov, portraying that mike has completely left him once a girl came along. mike making him feel special in the shed, but then showing nothing towards him in season 3 to make him feel special again. not sure if that makes sense but 8/10

honorable mentions

right now (one direction)

"lights go, down and" (the ud being dark) "I hear you calling to me yeah" (will calling for mike in the ud) and "lets go crazy together" vs "crazy together right?" LIKE YOU CANNOT MAKE THIS SHIT UP 10/10

2. strong (one direction)

mike giving will the courage to fight on just for being himself. wills love for mike makes him strong. "so many words we're not saying" (feelings for each other) "but there's nothing I'm running from" (will coming to terms with himself and his feelings for mike" "you make me strong" also also will saying he's felt so lost without mike, and the song goes "but when I'm not with you I'm weaker" 100/10

3. lets hurt tonight (one republic)

"dont walk away, dont roll your eyes" and "you were rolling your eyes, you were moping" which basically is about their communication and needing to talk things out when they argue. "they say love is pain, well darling lets hurt tonight" painful because mileven is together, yes, but also because its going to be so hard for byler to be a couple in the 80s, and they may not be able to do all of the things they wish they could

4. moment like you (liamariejohnson)

ANOTHER UNDERRATED BANGER but to me this is about will not wanting to be replaced for left behind by mike, and coming to terms with his feelings. "please don't leave me here tonight, lonely on the dance floor. cause I've been waiting my whole life, for a moment like you" which could also be seen as the literal intimate moments between byler in s4, and will treasures those heart to hearts and is so glad to finally be close to mike again.

well thats a wrap so lmk what yall think!! dt @skyewaytohell

sry if theres typos guys its 2am and I'm sitting hunchback at my computer

BYLER ENDGAME

[vigilante-fangirl]

Heroes Guide to Parenting

Adrian Chase/Vigilante x Reader Prompt: Surprise you're pregnant! What will you tell the team? What are you going to tell Adrian?!

Warnings: Reader is AFAB, Pregnancy, Cursing and Spoilers for season 1 finale of peacemaker in later chapters

The early morning at the headquarters of the office record store was shrouded in a quiet atmosphere. While everyone else busied themselves with typing on their computers or fine-tuning their weapons after a grueling mission, you found yourself slumped on the office couch, clad in your hero costume, feeling utterly miserable. "Ughhh! Kill meee!" you whined, the intensity of your complaint earning you a pen thrown by Harcourt, which ended up hitting your nose.

"Fucking shut UP!" Harcourt snapped, her patience wearing thin. "You've been complaining nonstop since we got back from the mission! Either go home or sit up and keep quiet." She punctuated her reprimand with a piercing glare. Before you could retort to her harsh words, an overwhelming wave of nausea surged through your body. The sensation hit you like a freight train, and you sprinted out of the room in a desperate bid to reach the bathroom, where you found yourself violently vomiting. Confusion spread among your teammates as they exchanged perplexed glances, unsure of what had just transpired.

"She's been sick for the last couple of weeks," Adebayo voiced her concern, closing her laptop and cringing at the distressing sounds emanating from the bathroom.

"Yeah, but only in the mornings?" Vigilante chimed in absentmindedly, engrossed in the task of polishing his throwing knives. "She's usually back to normal by the afternoon, so no big deal."

"Speak for yourself, dude!" Economos snapped at Vigilante, seated uncomfortably in a shirt that was a size too small. "Your girlfriend friggin' threw up on me while we were in the van! Now I have to wear this!" He grumbled, spinning around in his chair to point at a shopping bag filled with vomit-stained clothes. His now shirt being the only thing from the lost and found.

"She's not my girlfriend! Did... did she say she was my girlfriend?" Adrian questioned with an awkward grin, finally lifting his gaze from his previous preoccupation. However, his smile quickly faded as he registered the disappointed expressions on his teammates' faces.

"I don't know, man. Maybe we should check on her? This isn't normal for her to be this sick," Adebayo suggested sympathetically, her gaze fixed on the closed bathroom door, brimming with concern

"Listen, I've known (Y/L/N) for years. She's fine. She gets sick all the time, but she toughs it out. Now let's get back to work," Harcourt declared, gesturing towards the cluttered desks and piles of paperwork. However, her words fell on deaf ears as the team members continued their discussion about what could be wrong with you.

"Well, she has been moodier lately," Vigilante chimed in, his mind wandering as he recalled recent events.

Economos, leaning back in his chair and clicking his pen, sneered. "Like how she suplexed Peacemaker the other day just for asking if her costume got tighter."

Peacemaker, who glared at Economos for his comment, couldn't resist adding a quip. "Whatever, baby tee! She got lucky! She's so little I didn't see her coming. Like an angry lil Oompa Loompa."

Economos pulled down the small shirt, silenced by Peacemaker's remark. Peacemaker then turned to Vigilante. 

"Nah, bro, but  (Y/L/N) has been aggro lately. Remember that patrol we had a week ago?"

The scene shifted to a vivid flashback.

You stood atop a dog walker, mercilessly curb stomping the guy into the ground. Vigilante and Peacemaker watched, torn between concern and awe. While Peacemaker wondered when to intervene, Vigilante's gaze remained fixed on you, as if you had stolen his heart.

"I think you got him, bro?" Peacemaker offered tentatively. "Plus, I don't think he did anything illegal—"

"He yanked the poor puppy and then didn't pick up its poop! Animal abuse and littering?!" You interjected, halting your assault momentarily to pull the guy up by his hair.

"I didn't see the shit!" he sobbed, hoping for some leniency as you dropped him and resumed your relentless attack.

"Too baddd!" you yelled, your voice filled with a mixture of anger and satisfaction.

The flashback ended abruptly, and the team returned to the present, the memory of your intense outburst lingering in the air.

"Yeah! That was so hot!" Vigilante chuckled, lost in his thoughts as he reminisced about that night. His comment earned a groan from the team, prompting him to quickly clarify, "I meant it in a friend way, guys!" He course-corrected, fully aware that you would have his head if the group discovered the true nature of both of your late-night shenanigans.

Harcourt wished she could drown out the team's conversation, but a sudden realization struck her like a truck. "Wait? Nausea only in the morning? Constant mood swings? Is she... tired all the time?" she asked Vigilante, who looked at her with a puzzled expression.

"Yeah? She sleeps a lot after patrols! It's kind of cute as she—" Vigilante's words were cut off by Harcourt's interruption.

"Shut it!" she snapped, then turned to Adebayo, her eyes wide with hope to confirm her suspicions. Adebayo looked at her, initially perplexed, before her eyes widened in realization, her hand covering her mouth in surprise. Economos and Peacemaker were the last two to connect the dots, apart from Vigilante, who stood there utterly confused. They all knew there was something between you and Vigilante, some kind of relationship, but they were not aware the extent to it’s intimate nature. From the way you wore his clothes after missions to how he constantly hovered near you like a lost puppy, it was evident that there was more to your connection.

A heavy silence fell upon the office until it was shattered by the loud, sickening sound of your vomiting from the bathroom. Peacemaker burst into laughter, collapsing onto the table, while Economos joined in, unable to contain his amusement as he looked at Vigilante.Harcourt and Adebayo sighed in exasperation at the team's reactions.

"I can't believe that idiot, and by you of all people," Harcourt muttered, rubbing her temples in annoyance as she pointed at Adrian.

"Didn't you guys, you know... use protection?" Adebayo asked sheepishly, prompting Peacemaker to laugh even louder.

Vigilante looked rather confused for a moment before attempting to recall the details.

Another Flashback

You had convinced Adrian to accompany you to Walmart to run errands, despite his initial reluctance. After all, you believed it was something a proper boyfriend should do. As you pushed the shopping cart, Adrian's attention seemed to drift away, his gaze fixed on you as you playfully brushed the hair from your face while cracking a joke. Little by little, he started noticing the subtle things you did, like how you loved wearing his hoodies, which he intentionally bought extra baggy just so you would swim in them. Adrian couldn't help but smile as you continued talking, occasionally lifting the hoodie to hide the various hickeys that adorned your neck. His eyes wandered down, noticing the tight yoga shorts hugging your hips, and the way they accentuated your curves. Lost in a daze, his thoughts converged on that very moment when the shorts rode up, revealing the curve of your ass.

"Condoms!" Adrian suddenly blurted out, his voice echoing through the aisle as he remembered what he needed. You spun around, desperately trying to shush him as disapproving glances from nearby moms were cast in your direction. 

"W-what, Adr?" you asked, looking around in confusion."Condoms! That's what I was trying to remember!" Adrian grinned, his usual goofiness on full display as he guided the cart towards the family planning section. He was about to grab a box when you smacked his hand, causing it to drop.

 "Ow! (Y/n), what the hell?" he protested, rubbing his hand and looking at you as if you were insane.

"Look at that price, babe! $11.99 for a box? That's too expensive!" you argued, placing the box back on the shelf.

"But you have some shower stuff that costs, like, $79 in the cart," he pointed out, reaching for the box again, only to receive another slap. This back-and-forth continued, with Adrian growing increasingly frustrated after each slap.

"(Y/N)!" he finally exclaimed, his annoyance evident in his voice, but you stood your ground, crossing your arms.

 "I refuse to pay that amount, Adrian! Besides, we don't even need those! God's got me!" you declared confidently, catching sight of a shelf displaying the new squishmallows. Adrian had intended to argue further, but as you ran over to the shelf, his attention was once again diverted by your hoodie riding up, revealing more of your enchanting figure.

The flashback came to an end, and the team returned to the present. 

Adrian's eyes widened in shock as he finally pieced everything together. Peacemaker, still laughing almost breathlessly, couldn't contain himself upon hearing the story.

"God... got me?" Harcourt and Adebayo both yelled in disbelief, their exasperation evident. "Both of you are idiots," Harcourt muttered, shooting glares at the closed bathroom door. She had expected this kind of behavior from Vigilante, but not from you.

Peacemaker attempted to catch his breath, jokingly remarking, "Aw, looks like thimble's little soldiers can still hit their target!" However, the gravity of the situation quickly sank in for Vigilante. 

"Dude! This is serious! N-no way, right? She would have told me!" he exclaimed, grappling with the reality that if you were indeed pregnant, you hadn't been dating for that long. The question of what he would do next weighed heavily on his mind as he turned towards the bathroom door, calling out your name with urgency.

The scene shifted to an hour ago, with you trembling inside the bathroom. You had pretended to be sick, using it as an opportunity to test the waters. From your cloak, you produced a box of pregnancy tests, investing a hefty $17.99 in ensuring the accuracy of the results. 

With a feverish haste, you tore open the box, causing the tests to clatter onto the floor. Hastily unzipping your costume and discarding the cloak, you sat on the toilet seat, nervously fumbling for one of the tests and scanning the torn instructions.As you peed on the blue stick, you placed it on the counter, praying fervently for the next three minutes. Your pleas to the heavens mirrored those of a sinner seeking redemption in church, as you shut your eyes tightly. The moment arrived, and you cautiously retrieved the test, squinting to discern the results. Two bright blue lines stared back at you.

"Like hell I am!" you exclaimed defiantly, discarding the test and grabbing another one. Once again, after three minutes had passed, two blue lines appeared before your eyes.

“....fuck.” is all you could say before a wave of nausea hit you causing you to actually vomit. 

[fukutomichi]

It's RAMBLE TIIIME!!! Okay, I think I can talk about it now, probably most have seen the episodes. It's a bit longish! Here we go!

That first episode is so far my favorite, because above all else, I'm a GIGANTIC fan of visual storytelling and show-don'tell, and that first episode had me FEASTING. You can probably tell by my gifsets that I love when actors emote and act without dialog using only emotions and facial expressions to get the message out. Episode 1 gave us so much of it. And dare I say bordering a bit on horror/gore a bit, those first few minutes with Sauron in his "desk job era" had me surprised by how brutal it got quickly.

If people are wondering if they're gonna do the Celebrimbor thing, and if THAT is gonna be too brutal to show, this might confirm that they may not shy away from it at all.

I love the fact that they took the criticism that was mentioned for the first two-three episodes in Season 1, when I was actually kinda worried that the pace was going a bit TOO slow and it took three weeks, when the story moves to Númenor , for the series to fully kick in gear. This time they were like, lets get the set-up out of the way, all at once, and then release week after week. Lets see if this decision pays of in the next weeks ahead.

So lets get this out of the way. I had a hunch with Nazanin Boniadi missing from promos and interviews that they are gonna off her character right away. Turns out that there was even an announcement before that I've completely missed and I was gutted when I found out, but in the end of the day, a job is still a job, and if it affects you in anyway, it's probably best to leave it. I have had a first hand experience in this and no matter how high the pay was, my health was much more important than anything and had to quit. I'm gonna miss her and wish her the best!

Arondir and Theo's relationship gets back to square one, so I'm interested to see in what way or IF it gets mended cause man, I dunno how they can pull it off this time. BUT I do LOVE that they've paired Theo alongside Isildur which is a character he can empathize with so I wanna see where that leads. My friends immidiatelly groaned when they heard "Gawddd the ARROW really?? =___="...and then remembered about a tiny movie called The Hobbit and what happened to Kili. We had to go to Hobbit logic to explain it away and move on lol.

The new character Estrid, was IMMEDIATELY suss as HELL to me. Even after she burned her sigil on her back so she can hide it. I've been listening to her soundtrack theme, and almost like as if its made from two layers, feels almost TOO magical for her even. But this is just my hunch. Isildur is still too wide-eyed and naive so maybe she will serve some purpose in him getting a bit jaded later on.

ORC BABIES!! HELLO!! I love that we're getting deeper into the orcish origins and probably everyone's favorite topic, are they redeemable?? Can they be??? I also love that we got to have two Adars. Season 1 we had Joseph Mawle with an almost vulnerable portrayal and what seemed like a suicide mission for him. Now for Season 2 we get Sam Hazledine, with his goal complete AND him still alive, a more driven and focused character...but is he gonna survive THIS season?? 😭

We know Adar also mentions how he meets Sauron for the first time...but that doesn't stop me from AGAIN, thinking that he IS MAGLOR. Come one maaaan, the hand!!! "In the eldest of the Elder days" you don't just drop a line like that causally. DROP THAT REVEAL!!!

WE NEED MORE OF THE HARFOOTS!!! WE NEED MORE WIZARDS!!! These 3 eps were not enough for me lol. I'm just beyond excited for Tom Bombadil!! Please have Goldberry, please have Goldberry!!

Disa and Durin are still relationship goals. UGHHH!! They will have me stressed!

I ain't gonna lie. When that giant eagle landed before Pharazôn, there were a few seconds where I was buttclenching thinking he was gonna pull his sword and swing it on the bird...but then Manwë would probably descend and obliterate Númenor in seconds and the series would be over lol. Númenor will have me stresseeeed. The Petty Lord and his Queen WILL RUIN MEEEH!! 😭 😭 😭

Ben Daniels as Cirdan is an A+++ casting choice. Kinda bummed that he hasn't talked properly with Gil-Galad tho. Make different characters interact more with each other damn iiiiit!!! Let us see them establish connections!!

That being said, my favorite part so far, and are probably gonna be the central focus of this season, are the elves. Their strive for perfection, thinking themselves SO infallible, beyond prideful, are gonna be the very things that bite them in the ass...again lol.

And it's important for us to see that, cause THAT is the extent of Sauron's evil, we need to witness just how much he can mess you up and how much he enjoys playing the game, in the same time thinking himself savior and deserving of love. How much PURE good you have to be to resist him. Elrond so far has proven able to resist, given his past.

Galadriel is on the brink. If listening to "The Last Temptation" tells me something...Galadriel so far hasn't learned her lesson and thinking herself able to resist.

I believe there's a gut-punch coming up in the finale and I'm not gonna be ready for it. And yet, as much as I don't like it, WE NEED TO SEE IT! We need to see how evil can be tempting and irresistible, that even an infallible being can fail.

After all, it's all downhill from here.

[smoothjazzdigit]

PLEASE expand on your thoughts for muppets abc i would love to hear them /nf /gen /pos

Okay for some reason I didn’t get notified for this ask so sorry it’s a bit late!

But YES thx for the opportunity to rant ab this show

Pros

I actually am a big fan of muppets abc. I’ll get into the cons later but I like the style of humor the show has (for the most part), I like when the muppets have more of an adult spin where it’s not like family guy humor but it’s a little more mature than most muppet projects. The modern muppets have been so heavily targeted toward children in many projects that it’s nice to see them recognize that a lot of modern muppets fans are adults (not that adults can’t like children’s humor, I for sure do, but y’know).

Also I really like a lot of the people they chose as guests for the show, and I honestly like the sitcom style following the muppets backstage of a show. I think it’s a good modernization of the original muppet show premise that allows it to focus less on skits and more on characters. Also normally I despise social media plot lines but I actually like the way this show handles pulling the muppets into the digital age, which is crucial for such a timeless property.

Also, as many problems as there are for muppets fans, it’s a really good show to watch with people who casually enjoy the muppets. This show’s style is more to the taste of some of my family members so I like watching it with them. And separate from the muppet’s characterizations the comedy is really good (but that’s subjective so I can see how it rubs some people the wrong way).

Cons

For one the cliffhanger ending kills me. Even if this show was weirdly received it had a really short run, they could’ve used a few more episodes or another season so we didn’t get left on such an annoying cliffhanger (that left Kermit and piggy still officially broken up since the show didn’t continue long enough for them to get back together).

Ok let me get into characters now, because that’s a criticism that I think is 100% valid (though I also think few people other than jerry juhl have properly understood the muppets and not flanderized their characters in some way)(but yeah it’s really bad here).

Scooter!!

How they’ve massacred my boy!

We’ll get to piggy but scooter is the one I’m most upset about. Why? Why change him from nepo baby humor to haha nerd comedy?? It was 2015 man we love making fun of nepo babies and rich people nowadays why would they change the character whose gimmick gets funnier with age?

His characterization feels pulled from the Big Bang theory. All his comedy is just “virgin nerd” comedy. I love that the show tried giving him more screen time than other projects but they fumbled the bag. He was a spoiled teenager who was wild and fun and could get away with anything because his uncle was rich. I get he’s older now but I refuse to think aging did this to him.

Because I’m a nerd I’m gonna pull some quotes about scooter from the new Richard hunt biography bc that man understood his characters.

“Like Hunt, Scooter is a born performer. Scooter also resembles Hunt in his amiable disposition and his almost nonchalant acceptance of the other characters and their quirks.”

“This acceptance stems from his own quiet confidence in himself… happily amusing himself and the people around him.”

“‘Scooter is a perpetual kid and very comfortable with who he is,’ said Hunt.”

HMMMM? CONFIDENCE? A PERFORMER? COMFORTABLE WITH WHO HE IS?

abc scooter just gives off such anxious vibes it really makes him feel like he’s lost the part of himself that made him so much like Richard Hunt.

Piggy

Ughhh she’s just not fun to watch for the most part in this show. I like the idea of her being the star of the show this time around, reminds me of her unexpected rise to fan-favorite muppet soon after Oz took over her character.

I also really like her friendship with deadly. I think miss piggy so often is boiled down to her love for Kermit that I really love the idea of having her explore platonic bonds. Her looking so hard for happiness in romantic relationships but eventually realizing that deadly is the one who’s been by her side, that he’s her friend and that she really loves him for sticking by her is a really sweet arc (for both of them. Love platonic piggy relationships and I like the modern fashion designer vibe they’ve been doing with deadly, I think it’s a fun reimagining of his original character).

But her diva meter really is pushed up to eleven.

Not to pull more from the Richard hunt bio, but Oz describes piggy as “The tough woman underneath the coyness. And the fact that she had to be coy to get things the way she wanted them, like most women at that time.”

Piggy is from humble beginnings and understands how she needs to act to get people to feel a certain way about her. She also won’t take shit from anybody, though. She knows her worth and knows she’s worked hard to get here, but it also was such an uphill battle to stardom for her I just refuse to believe she would become so selfish and act so privileged the way she does in the show.

ABC piggy doesn’t feel like a girl who tries to be coy but knows to be tough when she needs to be. ABC piggy is mean. She has a thin temper and everyone is scared of her and she’s so removed from the non-famous life that she has trouble bonding with people. She only does community service for publicity and can barely manage to do any manual labor. She’s not tough. She’s angry. She’s short-tempered and violent. And she has no trace of her humble roots, that gratefulness for the position of fame she’s in that she holds in so many other roles.

Others

Sam is pretty creepy. I love his gag of being the censorship for the show, him popping up saying “can’t say that” is a nice little nod to him trying to control the chaos of the original show and his little conservative speech sketches. His crush on Janice is kinda odd tho. I like him getting more modern spotlight, I really like his character in most wanted (though a rewatch of that is needed haven’t seen it in a while). But yeah he’s kinda weird here.

Also why were gonzo and Camilla broken up. Disagree. Idc about your relationship drama they’re the muppets otp.

Uhh trying to think off the top of my head, it’s been a few months since my rewatch of the show. I don’t like the mayhem fight. I think teeth and Floyd fighting over Janice is weird and off for them in modern day. Respect Janice rejecting labels, go off Queen.

Conclusion/TLDR

I had more to say than I realized but I don’t want to make too long of a post. Tldr, I really like the show and it’s humor but it does feel divorced from “the muppets” as a pre-established franchise and characters. The characterization is bad, even though I appreciate them trying to give more screen time to some lesser used characters, it didn’t really work. I just think it had a lot of potential, and I like the idea of a more adult but still family oriented muppet show, but the execution was really hit or miss.

Refer to my previous post about it for more condensed thoughts, weird show all around lol

Also stan abc Big Mean Carl. Stole the show, 10/10

[bagelsunshinecoffee]

I have so many Shannon thoughts. She’s only physically in the show for a short time and I wish it was longer. I would have loved for the show to actually play out the Eddie/Shannon divorce and for us to get to see where Shannon’s journey takes her. I can’t help feeling like maybe the show didn’t know what to do with her character so they just killed her off. And I know a lot of people think Shannon is one dimensional but I don’t really agree.

We see Shannon break down and admit her deepest, most vulnerable fears. We see her stand up for herself. We see her make a difficult decision to step away from her marriage to do what is best for herself and her son. Through her we really understand for the first time that she and Eddie were just kids when they got pregnant and married. They are at the crossroads of deciding, as adults, if the path they started on is one they want to continue or if they have grown past it.

Shannon has grown past it. She loves Eddie but knows that at this point the foundation of their relationship is as much nostalgia and wishful thinking as anything. She is determined to prioritize Chris (and ughhh this is why I’m so mad she died because I want to see her stepping into her role as a mother again and learning and making mistakes and getting to have that relationship). Eddie…Eddie is lost, and he’s still lost in that same way by the end of season 7, chasing Shannon and what she represents long after she’s gone. I think there are a lot of reasons (besides the fact that Eddie is actually gay and Shannon represents the life he was supposed to live but will never be able to while being true to himself) including the fact that he struggles profoundly to deal with pain, probably due to being raised to be strong and having that reinforced in the military and then repressing years of trauma. You can’t grow without dealing with pain.

In a lot of ways their dynamic reminds me of Buck and Abby and I’ve seen people react to the two couples in similar ways: demonizing the women to some degree to focus on the hurt they caused the men. And they did hurt Buck and Eddie, and yes let’s deal with that as part of their characters. But both of these are examples of women who decided they needed space from their all-consuming caretaker roles in order to be ready to have real and healthy relationships and both get lambasted for it.

With Shannon there’s the extra layer that she left Chris. She hurt her child, that’s undeniable. I also think it’s true that there are times a person can not be a good parent. Shannon was raising a child she was not prepared for alone, with minimal contact with her husband, for years. She was also raising a disabled child with greater care needs, expensive treatments, and having to make life altering decisions for her child (surgery, etc) all by herself. When she expresses her fear that she harmed Christopher by causing his CP, there’s ableism there, the assumption that CP is a bad thing. There’s also the reality of a young woman who has seen her child experience pain, surgery, difficulties that other children do not and who has felt the full weight of an ableist society descend on her and her child. The world loves to blame mothers for everything about their children, that’s not made up in her head. She’s absolutely coming at it from the perspective of an able-bodied person who didn’t have to grapple with ableism at all until Chris was born and still has a lot to unlearn, but that doesnt make her evil. When Eddie came back into Chris’s life there were many struggles that were already over, that Shannon dealt with all by herself.

What does our society hate more than a woman who refuses to be a caretaker? And what does fandom love more than a woman who can be demonized so the man who steps up as caretaker or lives without her care can be idolized?

Shannon was right at the cusp of something. She was going to have a chance to be a mother on her own terms, to repair the harm she did, to find herself. And it would have been good for Eddie too, I think, to be forced to let go of the idealized image of Shannon in his head which her death only crystallized forever. And then she died because ???? Reasons. I guess.

[l-norris]

The summerbreak is over and the Dutch GP is underway!

Honestly, I can feel the years subtracted of my life already, heh.

DISCLAIMER: Remember that this is just for shits and giggles, I'm not trying to actually hate on any of the drivers cuz all (most) of them are very dear to me!

As always - numbers in brackets = lap numbers

- Formation lap is on

- Welcome back to F1, where your hairs grey in a matter of seconds

- Mom I'm scared

- it fuckem wimdy

- heart rate through the roof, anxiety growing

- Lando don't bottle the start please🙏🏻

- It's lights out and away we go!

- ... UGHHH

- death, taxes, Lando bottling the start

- (not actually him but more like the car)

- Didn't even make it to the first turn this time

- 'Red Bull aren't fast' MY ASS

- To be fair Oscar's start was also kinda meh

- so much wheelspin

- Kevin locks up on lap 1 too

- Max pulls away (8)

- "Lando who are we racing?" Uuuuuh... everyone??

- Some battling and overtaking from Lewis (10)

- Spicy battle between Carlos and Pierre (11)

- "We are on Plan A"

- FERRARI🤨

- Just a quick note that Lando actually keeps up with Max

- Alex pits (13)

- Lando in DRS window

- Lewis is on the chase (16)

- It's getting spicy up front

- Boys. Behave.

- "There are no smiles on the Red Bull pit wall. Only grimaces." Good!

- Lando overtakes Max! (18)

- Masterpiece of an overtake

- Guanyu pits (20)

- Lando pulls away (21)

- Wind is picking up

- Bro I was looking away for two minutes and Lando is 3 seconds ahead??

- Lewis pits (24)

- Charles pits (25)

- George pits (26)

- Ferrari got their shit together also?

- rare Ferrari W

- Max pits (28)

- makes me nervous

- Lando pits (28)

- left front issue😀

- But he overcuts Max!

- Sheer, dumb luck, McLaren. Sheer, dumb luck.

- We currently have a McLaren 1-2

- Lando fastest lap (32)

- Only three people left who haven't pitted yet

- Hello McLaren? Are you gonna pit Oscar anytime soon?

- Now's the time (34)

- Charles is third in THAT SHITBOX?!

- Pierre unsafe release

- Lando is now 8 seconds ahead of Max (36)

- Lance speeding in pitlane

- Lando is now 9 seconde ahead of Max (38)

- Pre-Miami me would have an aneurysm

- Lance 5-second-penalty

- Oscar is in George's rear

- GET HIM!

- Oscar is now fourth

- Lando is now 10 seconds ahead of Max (40)

-Kevin gets OBLITERATED by MULTIPLE cars

- Alex is almost in the points

- Why is Max gaining all of a sudden

- Nevermind just a moment of weakness I guess

- Lando is now 11 seconds ahead of Max (44)

- Sorry I'll stop lmao

- Oscar is chasing down Charles

- While Carlos is stuck behind Checo

- Why are McLaren so positive that a Safety Car will come out (47)

- There hasn't been a single yellow flag or retirement so far what are you lot planning

- Carlos finally passes Checo

- Lewis pits (49)

- I know I said I'd stop but 13 SECOND LEAD?? INSANE (51)

- Bro's gonna be a whole pitstop ahead at the end of this

- Very demure. Very mindful.

- A few pitstops happen (54)

- 15 laps to go

- Nothing is happening (59)

- Rare Lando footage on Live TV (62)

- Lewis P14 to P8 btw

- Ferrari flop era is no more

- Fernando passes Nico (64)

- The rookie is in the points now

- Quick update: 18 seconds gap between Lando and Max (66)

- You're doing amazing sweetie

- Nor Ver Lec Podium looking real nice rn (67)

- 5 laps to go!

- Dead silence in the McLaren garage

- 20 SECOND LEAD NOW HOLY SHIT

- 3 laps to go!

- LET'S GO LANDO!

- FINAL LAP!

- RAAAAAAAAAAAH

- 21 SECONDS NOW

- ANY SECOND NOW!

- HE WINS IT!

- SECOND WIN FOR LANDO NORRIS

- POLE, WIN, FASTEST LAP AND DRIVER OF THE DAY!

- GRAND. SLAM.

- He's very calm, very collected.

- Weekend saved, thanks Lando👍🏻

- Also Charles is back on the podium

- No more 'Terrible day for Tifosi'

- CHAMPAGNE POP!

What. A. Race.

Awesome way to start back into the second half of the season. I'm on an all-time high right now, hahaha. Really happy for Lando, and also happy for Charles to be back on the podium!

[queen-of-writing-bad-things]

Henry Danger Reader Insert | Captain Man x Reader: SEASON 1

Episode 11: Henry the Man-Beast

~The Man Cave~

As per Ray's orders, (y/n), Henry and Charlotte were sorting out all the junk which was kept in the Man Cave's storage rooms. There were machines, boxes, spare parts, and it was all theirs to reorganise. Of course, (y/n) loved a tidy workplace, but the prospect of the three of them doing all the work in one afternoon was exhausting.

"Ugh, why do we have to reorganise the stupid storeroom? Shouldn't Ray be doing this?" Henry asked the woman, who was emptying a load of boxes.

"Probably, but he's the one paying you two, so just tell Charlotte what that is so she can write it down."

"Uh, it's a big, heavy thing with things on it." The boy described it since he had no idea what it was or what it did.

"Great. Another big thing that's a thing with things on it." Charlotte complained. Her list wasn't making much sense.

"Ah, whatever." Henry shrugged it off, thinking that the poor stocktaking would make Ray sort through his own stuff next time.

"Right, you two, I'm going to take these back. Oh, don't touch anything while I'm not here, some of this stuff's pretty dangerous." (y/n) warned them in a serious voice, wheeling the boxes through the door next to the supercomputer.

"Ok." Henry leaned against a machine once she had disappeared. An orange light fizzled out from the top of the device and shocked Henry, making him convulse in pain. Charlotte watched in horror as the shock came to an end.

"What are you doing? Ray and (y/n) said not to mess with this stuff." She told him in a concerned voice.

"I wasn't messing with it. I just leaned on it--" The teen boy was cut off as Ray and Schwoz came through the sprocket.

"You're wrong," Ray said to his friend.

"I told you that--" Schwoz tried to argue back, but he was interrupted by the larger man.

"Give it up, Schwoz! The answer is wild monkeys." He shouted.

"It's not--" Again, Ray's voice overpowered him.

"Well, I told you you're wrong." They were both stubborn men, and without a referee to control them, their arguments got the better of them.

"I told you the answer is soup." Schwoz protested, the two of them walking down to where Henry and Charlotte were stood.

"Well, I disagree." Ray noticed the kids standing around.

"Okay, let's ask them." He gestured to the teens.

"Ask us what?" Since (y/n) was busy, the job of settling their squabbles was up to Henry and Charlotte.

"If you kids had to choose, would you rather..." Schwoz started.

"Be eaten by wild monkeys..." Ray said his answer.

"Or you get boiled in a big pot of soup." Schwoz finished, passing the query to the kids.

"What kind of soup?" Henry asked, as (y/n) came back, smiling when she saw all her friends together.

"Someone say soup?" She asked.

"Listen, my favourite little helper, would you rather--" Ray started to ask her, but unexpectedly, a beeping red alarm sounded on the wall. 

"Ugh, Gooch needs me. I'll be back down in a sec." Charlotte groaned, knowing her time in the Man Cave was up.

"Hey Ray, can we finish going through all this stuff tomorrow?" Henry asked his boss.

"Why? It's only five o'clock." Ray looked at his watch in confusion.

"We can't leave all his crap lying around." (y/n) said to Henry, the thought of living with a huge mess made her skin crawl.

"I know it's just that..." Henry started, but Charlotte shouted over from the elevator.

"He wants to leave early--" She tried to explain.

"Don't tell them!" Henry warned her.

"Okay. Henry's got a date!" Charlotte quickly said as the elevator doors closed and she went upstairs.

"Why did you have to--ughhh." Henry frowned and then turned around to the smiling adults behind him.

"It's not a date." Henry tried to keep them calm, but their excitement only grew. Henry, on a date? Yeah, they were going to be ecstatic!

"I bet it isss." Schwoz teased him.

"You gonna wear your fanciest pants?" Ray joined in, as the blush on the boy's face grew.

"You guys are terrible." (y/n) punched the two men on their shoulders, Henry glad she was there.

"Is she pretty?" She smiled cheekily at him, revealing that she was just as bad as the other two when it came to Henry's love life.

"Can I knock off early or what? And yes, she's very pretty." His answer made (y/n) squeal, happy that the kid was crushing on someone.

"Yeah sure, kid." Ray smiled at him.

"Thanks." The boy walked towards the tube area.

"Hey, where are you going to take her?" Schwoz asked him.

"To dinner at Sotto Voce," Henry replied, impressing the woman who looked up at where he was standing. 

"Oooo, Sotto Voce. I wish I had a man to take me there." She said, a tiny bit jealous that a 13-year-old girl was getting better dates than her. Ray looked at his best friend with a wistful gaze, wishing he could be the one to take her to dinner.

"How can you afford a place like that?" The superhero asked Henry, knowing that the classy restaurant was way more expensive than what he could afford.

"Because I took 100 bucks out of your wallet." Henry showed him the bill, as Ray's smile fell.

"What?" He said, as (y/n) laughed. Man, he'd been hustled by a kid half his age.

"Up the tube!" Henry was off before Ray could process what had happened, leaving the man to check his wallet. He cursed to himself when he noticed that Henry had swiped it.

"Hey. What is this machine? Did I make this?" Schwoz spoke out suddenly, the unknown object making him examine it with a confused face.

"No, my father made that. Long time ago." Ray sounded slightly downhearted at the thought of his father. Their estrangement had left him feeling hurt and abandoned.

"What this do?" Schwoz asked.

"Isn't it the doohickey that was supposed to make you even beefier?" (y/n) squeezed his arm, her small hand barely fitting his rock-solid bicep.

"Yeah, it was supposed to make me stronger, more powerful, you know, manlier." He developed her answer, fully explaining the intended purpose of the machine.

"So it didn't work." Schwoz deadpanned, and (y/n) snorted at his comment. 

"Nice one, Schwoz." She gave him a high-five, the joke was spot on.

"It was never tested on me," Ray said to him in an irritated voice and mussed up (y/n)'s hair as revenge for laughing at him.

"We tested it on my nerdy cousin," Ray explained.

"So, did it make him manly?" Schwoz asked, interested in knowing what went wrong.

"It made him too manly." The tall man said, remembering how his cousin transformed into a macho beast.

"The effects started slowly but... a few days later, he was...less of a man." He grew misty-eyed and mysterious, figuratively leaving his two friends on the edge of their seats.

"Yes?" (y/n) looked at him expectantly.

"More of a beast." He revealed, shocking them at the thought of the savage man.

"Ohhh." Schwoz and (y/n) winced back, Ray nodding at their reactions. They were all oblivious that whilst they were speaking, Henry was turning into a man-beast too. 

~

Charlotte screamed as she came back down in the elevator, tumbling onto the floor as it fell. Stumbling out, she brought the drinks they had ordered ten minutes beforehand.

"Here's your coffee." She handed the soggy cupholder to Ray, who looked down at the smashed cups with a frown.

"Thank you?" He looked at her in confusion, wondering where all the coffee had gone. Charlotte walked off as Ray picked up one of the cups and began to lick the remnants of the coffee off the side.

"The hell are you doing?" (y/n) asked him, taking the cups and their holder from his hands and dumping them onto the couch table.

"So...what are we gonna do with this manly machine?" Schwoz asked his boss, gesturing to the device in question.

"Oh yeah." He and (y/n) looked at it in thought.

"It's obviously majorly dangerous." Her words caught the attention of Charlotte, her face dropping at the mention of the machine that struck Henry.

"We better destroy it. Or I guess we could donate it to a school." He thought, believing that all the puny kids would benefit from being made tough.

"You just love to create problems for yourself, don't you?" (y/n) looked up at him.

"Hey...what do you mean that thing's dangerous?" Charlotte asked them, a sense of dread in her stomach.

"Well, it was designed to make people stronger, more powerful and manlier but it goes too far. Take a look at what it did to my cousin, Elliot." Ray pulled out his remote control and put a picture of his cousin on the monitor.

"Ew." Charlotte wrinkled her face in disgust.

"No, that's the before picture." He told her.

"Oh." She said awkwardly.

"I don't think he looks that bad." (y/n) looked at him and weighed up his features. Whilst he was no Ray Manchester, he wasn't the ugliest man she'd ever seen.

"Here's what Elliot looked like a week after my dad tested this machine on him." Ray wanted her to stop analysing his cousin in terms of attraction, so he changed the screen to a photo of a crazy, hairy-looking man.

"Yah!"

"Sweet cheese!" The two females hugged each other in fright from the picture.

"Yep. He turned into a man-beast." Ray said as the two parted.

"Hey, he looks like my sister." Schwoz stared at Elliot.

"Ha! Your sister wishes!" (y/n) joked, remembering how ugly Schwoz's sister was. 

"She is an animal." Ray joined in and the three adults laughed at their inside joke.

"She smells like a horse!" Schwoz giggled. He had no trouble talking about his sister like that since it was the truth. She smelt really, really bad. 

"She looks like a horse!" (y/n) said, the three of them laughing harder. Ray held his stomach and bent over in a fit of giggles. 

"Guys! You guys!" Charlotte urgently needed their attention.

"What?" 

"Yeah?" The men acknowledged as (y/n) wiped the tears from the corners of her eyes.

"Henry accidentally touched that machine." The joy was instantly gone from their bodies as she spoke the words. 

"He..he turned it on? I told you to watch them." Ray asked Charlotte whilst looking at (y/n).

"I did watch them! I told them not to touch anything when I was in the back!" She insisted to him. She always took her job seriously and would never risk one of the kids getting hurt.

"He didn't mean to. His hand just hit one of those buttons and it went all...bzzz....bzzz." Charlotte explained, not wanting the woman or Henry to get into trouble.

"Uh-oh." Schwoz turned to the pale-faced best friends, as it sunk in that Henry was going to become a man-beast.

"Did you see Henry start to show any signs of..." Ray couldn't think of the right words.

"Exaggerated manliness?" The woman next to him finished.

"I'm--I'm not sure." Charlotte stuttered. She hadn't been concentrating on the boy enough to have noticed any obvious changes.

"Well, where is he?" Ray exclaimed, needing to find his sidekick and fast.

"He's having dinner with the pretty girl at Sotto Voce." (y/n) reminded him.

"Oh, right." He clicked his fingers as he jogged his memory.

"I hear they have good paninis." Schwoz butted in, getting off-topic.

"Oh, shut up, Schwoz. I gotta go get Henry before the symptoms advance too far and they become permanent." Ray snapped at him. There was no time for levity.

"Come with me." He snapped his fingers to the two girls and the three of them ran to the tubes. (y/n) wrapped her arms around Ray so they could share and not have to take multiple trips.

"Bye!" Schwoz waved at them as the tubes came down. He would look after the Man Cave whilst they were saving Henry.

"Up the tube!" Ray called out, his strong arms holding the girl tight.

"Buh-bye!" She wiggled her fingers at the little man and they lifted out of the Man Cave. 

~Sotto Voce~

Henry was stood at the waiting desk of Sotto Voce. The effects of the manly machine had started to become clear as he now had a beard coming through on his face. A man and his wife walked past, accidentally knocking into him, which normal Henry would've just brushed off, but macho Henry wasn't going to take it lying down.

"Oh, excuse me." The man apologised.

"Ohh, no. I will not excuse you." Henry barked at him.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bump into you, I was just passing with--" The man said to him in a polite voice, not wanting to cause any trouble.

"What?! You wanna take a swing at me? Come on!" The boy said in a deep voice, raising his fists to the frightened man.

"Let's go, Mark." His wife pulled him away from the weird boy.

"Yeah...go Mark. Enjoy your salad." Henry seethed at him. Chloe walked up behind him, wearing a really cute, colourful dress with a blue purse and grey boots. 

"Hey, Henry." She greeted him with a smile.

"Hey, dude, what's up?" Henry picked her up and replied in his masculine voice.

"Uh, is that...are you growing a beard?" Chloe looked at him in confusion as she felt his face. No other 13-year-old boy in their school had a stubble like Henry's.

"Huh?" Henry touched either side of his face.

"Nah, I think I just need a shave," he smirked at her.

"Wow, when did you start shaving?" The girl asked him, wondering why he had started so early.

"I guess tomorrow morning, ha!" He said in a loud, laddish voice.

"Hey! Let's get us a table! We hungryyyy!!" The man-beast boy shouted across the restaurant, making the manager come across to tell them off.

"Young man, this is Sotto Voce, would you please lower your voice?" The posh man said in a low, silky-smooth accent.

"Yeah, I'll lower my voice." Henry crouched to the floor.

"WE HUNGRYYYY!" He howled, as his date stood there in embarrassment.

"Yeah! We gonna get food!" He shouted, disturbing the other diners as he led Chloe to a table.

~20 minutes later~

"Lasagne for the young lady." The waiter placed the food the two had ordered down on the table.

"Oh my god, it smells so good." Chloe complimented, smiling at the waiter.

"Yeah! Smell that!" Henry leaned over the table and stuck his nose really close to the girl's plate.

"And, um, are you sure you want your steak raw?" The waiter asked Henry, concerned at how unsafe the raw meat would be to eat without cooking it first.

"Yeah, man, just set it down, yeah." Chloe gagged at the raw meat, as Henry chucked the plate back to the server and stuck his fork into it.

"Okay, enjoy." She looked on in disgust at how Henry smelled the meat, then shoved it into her face.

"Oh yeah, smell that!" He brought it back down to his side of the table and began to chew on the meat with his hands. He tore a piece off, much to his date's repulsion. He chewed it like an animal, as Jasper came into the restaurant, clearly upset about something,

"Hey, Henry! Remember this guy?" The curly-haired boy marched over to their table. He was angry that Henry had cancelled on him to go on a date with a girl, and never gave him any notice.

"Bye, Jasper," Henry growled at him, so Jasper remembered what Piper had told him earlier on.

'If I were you, I'd tell Henry that he's rude, and then I'd shove his face down right into his food.' He liked the sound of her advice.

"What are you thinking about?" Henry said, breaking up his daydream.

"Your sister." Okay, that sounded wrong.

"What?" Henry asked in a grossed out manner.

"Now, I'm going to teach you a lesson." Jasper tried to push Henry's head into the steak on the table, but the manly machine had made the blond boy ten times stronger. They both grunted from the effort, but Jasper couldn't move him.

"Are you trying to push his head down?" Chloe asked in a weirded-out voice.

"Yeah, what are you doing?" Henry added, making Jasper stop from exhaustion. He walked over to another table and grabbed some vegetables from Mark's plate. Poor guy was just trying to have a nice dinner with his wife. Jasper threw them at Henry's face, enraging the aggressive boy.

Henry stood up and grabbed the meat lying on the table, slapping it across Jasper's face. The entire restaurant gasped at the harsh noise the steak made as it came into contact with Jasper's cheek.

"You just beef-slapped me." He cried, tears springing to his eyes at what his best friend had just done.

"You want some more?" He threatened, the meat still in his hand.

"Henry!" Chloe protested.

"You're--you're acting weird!" Jasper ran out of the restaurant before Henry could hurt him again. 

"Bye, Jasper!" The girl said sadly, as Henry sat back down with pride.

"Woo! Is it hot in here?" Henry tugged at his collar and unbuttoned his shirt to show off his chest hair to Chloe. The sight of the excessive amount of hair was starting to put her off her lasagna, as Henry leaned back into his chair. 

~Meanwhile~

Ray, Charlotte and (y/n) were sneaking into the restaurant, intent on finding and stopping Henry from becoming a fully-fledged man-beast. They hid behind a wall and looked at the couple on the date.

"Whoa, look at Henry's beard." Charlotte pointed out, seeing how the boy was shovelling lumps of steak into his mouth.

"And is that raw beef? He's gonna get a serious E-coli infection." (y/n) grimaced at the sight.

"I knew it. It's the effects of that device. Henry's changing." Ray said as he hid fully behind the wall.

"Then if we don't do something quickly, in a few more days he could be a full man-boy beast thing!" (y/n) whispered, panic in her voice.

"Why can't we ever have normal problems?" Charlotte complained, and the woman raised an eyebrow at her.

"Normal? He fights crime and I run his base under a store full of junk. We've never been normal." She joked, but Ray shushed her.

"Just, go get Henry. Make up some reason why he's gotta leave with you." He hissed to Charlotte, who looked reluctant to do as he asked.

"What's the problem?" (y/n) saw how she was contemplating the situation.

"I feel bad. Henry really likes Chloe and she's already mad at him." Charlotte explained to two adults, who had bent down to her eye level.

"Why?" Ray asked, wondering what Henry had done.

"Because he keeps flaking on her because he's always busy working for you." The best friends sighed, not aware of how much Henry was sacrificing in his normal life to help them out.

"I think you need to rethink your strategy." The woman spoke in Ray's ear, so he pushed the two females into a secluded corner.

"Okay. All right. I know how to get Henry out of here without Chloe thinking it's his fault." He said as he chewed a gumball.

"What are you gonna do?" Charlotte asked, as (y/n) checked if the coast was clear. Giving Ray a nod, he ducked behind a mesh wall and transformed into Captain Man.

"Wait here." He said to them, as he dashed into the restaurant. (y/n) and Charlotte eyed the mints on the reception desk and gave each other a look.

"Let's take 'em." The woman said as she picked up the box and poured them into the girl's jumper. Sucking on the confectionery, they watched as Ray worked his way awkwardly around the tables. Checking that no one was watching, he used his laser remote to set fire to some bread buns.

"Fire! Quick, everyone, exit the restaurant!" He shouted to the room.

"Captain Man?" Henry was confused to see his boss on his date.

"Wow." Chloe breathed out.

"Sir, you are at Sotto Voce. Please lower your voice." The manager said to the superhero, even though there was an emergency.

"Sorry. Sorry." He whispered in apology and began to tell all the tables to leave.

"Fire, please keep your voices down and exit the restaurant." He repeated as he ran around the room, the final table being Henry's.

"Fire don't scare me." Henry laughed.

"Well, fire do scare me," Chloe said, grabbing her purse and rushing out of the building.

"Thanks for coming." Charlotte and (y/n) were talking to the guests as they ran through reception. 

"Sorry, no mints left." (y/n) smirked at a woman who looked at the empty bowl.

"Appreciate your business." The younger girl hurried her along. 

"Get out." (y/n) said to the last few guests. Ray took out his laser and tried to stun Henry with it. However, his machoism stopped him from going down.

"Nuh-uh, dude. You're gonna have to zap me harder than that." Henry looked at him, shaking off the laser's effects. Ray zapped him again a couple times, Henry grunting and stepping back, but the boy was still on his feet.

"Come on, kid, I'm trying to help you. Just drop." Ray said to him.

"Well, sorry. Three little laser shots can't hurt me." His aggressive words frustrated Ray, so he spammed the laser at Henry, this time making him pass out. Ray caught him before he fell on the floor and lifted him over his shoulder. The waiters watched in fear and uncertainty.

"Ooh, panini." Ray grabbed the food as he walked to the doors.

"Come on, hurry!" (y/n) whispered at him and he jogged over.

"And stop eating that!" She said as he took a bite of the panini. He put Henry's unconscious body in the back of the Man Van with Charlotte.

"Want some?" He offered her the bread as they climbed into the front seats.

"Oh sweet cheese, yes." She smiled as he broke it in half and passed it to her. He knew the way to her heart like the back of his hand.

~The Man Cave~

Henry had entered the next stage of the transformation, and now he was a mindless savage. Schwoz and Ray had had to restrain him in a chair when he lashed out at (y/n) and Charlotte. Currently, the boy was roaring and struggling against the cuffs as the small genius finished his machine that would reverse the effects.

"Let me go!" His voice sounded demonic, making the two females shiver as they tweaked the machine's settings.

"Can we please hurry up and get this done?" Charlotte looked at Schwoz, feeling antsy at how animalistic Henry was becoming.

"It is ready. Pick up the meat-beef." Schwoz pointed to the steak they had prepared, and Henry went crazy at the sight of it once Ray raised in it his fist.

Schwoz released him from the chair and Ray dangled the meat in front of him.

"Throw it in!" (y/n) shouted at the superhero, who did as she said and lobbed it into the machine. Henry dived in after it, letting Ray lock him inside. 

"What happens now?" Charlotte asked.

"What that machine did to Henry, this machine do the opposite," Schwoz explained.

"Turn it on, turn it on, turn it on! He's getting worse!" (y/n) cried, feeling Henry beat against the door. Schwoz pulled a giant lever and pressed the controls. 

"I go speedy," Schwoz told her, as Ray pulled her away from the door and put his body in her place. If Henry broke out, he couldn't risk the boy hurting her.

The machine illuminated once it was activated, and Henry roared and groaned as his body changed. Ray moved the two girls away from the machine and pulled (y/n) behind his back. Slowly, the lights stopped, meaning that the process was over. They looked to Schwoz to see if it worked, but all the little guy could do was shrug. He had no idea if they had been successful. 

"Open!" Schwoz lifted the lever and the three opened the door, letting Henry step out. Only, something must have gone wrong, as now Henry was a girl.

"What happened? I feel so... different." Girl Henry said in a feminine voice and wiggled her hips, much to the horror of the four other people in the room.

"Oh my God, it's Henrietta!" (y/n) exclaimed, and Ray quickly picked up the girl and put her back in the machine. 

"I need to make some adjustments," Schwoz said in an abashed voice. He quickly typed away on the machine's screens and Ray, Charlotte and (y/n) watched on with bated breath.

"Okay, we go again." The genius activated the machine and it lit up again. Smoke poured from the vents and they could hear Henry's groans. As the process came to an end, they tiptoed towards the door. Schwoz gave Ray a grave nod, knowing that they had to see if it had worked.

A figure stepped out of the machine and collapsed into the superhero's arms. His face looked up, and to the man's delight, there was no facial hair, or female features staring back at him.

"Ray?" Henry asked in a hoarse voice.

"Kid!"

"Henry!" They all piled onto Henry in a group hug, so relieved to have him back to normal. Henry laughed and patted them all on the back as he returned the hug.

"What happened to me?" He questioned them after he pulled back.

"Oh, you nearly became a man-beast," Charlotte told him and the boy had a disturbed expression on his face.

"Then Schwoz turned you into a girl." (y/n) added on, making Schwoz run upstairs when Henry looked at him with anger, which quickly turned to dread when he remembered the disastrous date. 

"Oh no! Chloe! I gotta go home and apologise!" Henry cried out, running to the elevator.

"Yeah, I should go too. Rescuing one man-boy beast is way out of my job description and I'm beat." Charlotte groaned, following her friend across the room.

"Bye guys!" The teens waved as the elevator doors slid shut, leaving Ray alone with his best friend.

"Stay safe!" The woman called out to the kids, turning away to the computer once they were gone.

"Hey." Ray started, swallowing the lump in his throat.

"Yeah?" (y/n) didn't look away from the screen.

"Sotto Voce is probably open again." He mentioned, shuffling his feet and looking down.

"Yeah, so?" She wasn't picking up on his hints.

"We could get some more paninis." The man poked her shoulder with a cheeky grin, making her turn around.

"After everything that happened tonight?" She raised her eyebrows, but he just smiled.

"Yeah, I'll even buy you an ice cream." Ray offered.

"Okay then. But I want two ice creams." She giggled after thinking for a moment. She stood up and linked her arm in his. They walked to the elevator together, their hearts fluttering in each other's company. 

Looks like Ray got to take her to dinner after all.

[pleasetakethis]

New favorite ep of the season acquired the moment it opened. Some shippy rambling in the live blogging ahead.

If you know me at all, you know right off the bat that I AM UNHINGED ABOUT THIS EPISODE.

NATPEGGY YASSSSSSSSSSSSSS

THE BACKSTORY INTRO!

"What are new friends for?"

THEM SHOWING OFF THEIR MOVES TO EACH OTHER !!!!!

Wasp, too??? Yasss, all the ladies!!!!!!!!!!

Peggy and Nat already working so well together in combat and the level of trust that already exists between them, I just--slkdjflasdjfklajflajlfkjas

Them sassing Loki !!!!!!

Intro credits: Elizabeth Olsen???? Wanda's here, too????? Super spoiler alert: I waited so long for her to show up 🤣

Me and the Watcher feel the same about Captain Peggy Carter <3

The role reversal when Peggy picks up Nat in that slick ass car while Nat's running... guhhhhhh.

I am here for all versions of evil Steve, including brainwashed.

SCRUFFY SKINNY STEVE!

CA: TWS parallels got me in my feels, too. Peggy/Nat is THE SHIP for me, but there's something about Peggy/Steve that hits just right the same way as Tony/Pepper, Steve/Tony, and Steve/Bucky.

The framing of these shots got me--Peggy in the background pissed because she wasn't told about the rumors of the Hydra Stomper, while Nat (listening) definitely knew about Steve:

AHHH, PEGGY'S FACE WHEN SHE REALIZED NAT KNEW:

AND DIDN'T TELL HER:

SDALKFJLAKJFLAJS

Natasha quipping "Didn't see the point in breaking your heart twice," fucked me up, oh.

DILF old man Bucky <3 Bucky getting to grow old!!!! WIBBLES.

Guess it's gonna take both of the loves of Steve's Rogers life to get through to him? lmaooo

Peggy is the perfect mirror of Captain America Steve. In goodness, selflessness, AND their particular brand of self-righteous selfishness. I love both of them for it, but especially Peggy <3

Bucky standing up and saying Steve would be stupid enough to do the same for him. 😭 Bucky trying to get through to Steve. 😭

"What can I say, Peg? I'm a sucker for a good love story." Damn, that hurts for a million different reasons. oh, Nat. <3

UMMMM the way Nat sits back and says, "You know, I always wondered how you got all those G.I. boys to follow a woman into war? Question answered." !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BRAIN EMPTY! ONLY PEGGYNAT! And Nat couldn't be more obvious if she tried, but she does it so well and Peggy is distracted.

Are you kidding me with the framing of this shot?

I feel like it's foreshadowing but IT SCREAMS pining. A lot of pining:

Barton introduced Peggy to dad rock <3 fuck yes

Widow bites interrupting the kiss, lol.

Peggy being a weak point for Nat, to the point Nat gets nabbed by widow bites, JFC.

Peggy will die for Steve, the same way Steve would have died for Bucky--ughhh I do not like but I understand.

"Mission accomplished." !!! Hot damn, that was slick, A++, AND Nat tells Peggy she doesn't want to fight about it. 😏

THERE WAS A MUSICAL!

BAMF Melina. Love to hate her when she's on the wrong side, parent/child issues me in a weird way these days and this ep got under my skin.

But also: guhhhhhh these Widows.

"This isn't us! I am done fighting, Steve. [drops shield] I have been fighting for so long: to end the war, to forget what I lost. I'm… I'm tired." oh, Peggy.

oh, Steve.

oh, Nat.

This ep got me in the feels, all of them.

Peggy going back for Nat AND them running out together <3

Ugh, Nat and her transparent, "Okay. Let's hit the road." Just: THEM.

...and oops, Peggy's gone.

But then! OOOO, this Fury! AND FINALLY, WANDA!!!!!

Overall: similar in ep 4 in that it was close to the emotional impact of Stephen's ep in the first season but still missed the mark (and tbh the Tony ep hit harder, but more because of Tony's characterization--Peggy is fairly consistent, Tony is not, so getting him so right (for me) was incredible). I adore this ep, I love Peggy, I love Nat, I enjoy this universe, and I hope we visit their universe again (if not, there's always fanfic, my beloved).

[phantombanquet]

Master Chef SR Idia Edition “Apprentice Chef” / Personal Card Story Part 1

~Let's make stuffed peppers 1~

[WARNING: Mentions of skipping meals. I placed an * before the line in case you are uncomfortable with the topic, but still want to read the story.]

Kitchen

Chef Ghost: Well, I'll ask you to make stuffed peppers immediately, but... Idia-kun, have you ever cooked before?

Idia: Eh... I...... I... (whispering) I haven't..

Chef Ghost: Oho, are you nervous? This program contains stuff for beginners like you. No need to have your guard up!

Idia: Th-this is my default.....

(whispering) No, it's a bother to explain, so I'll just leave it as a misunderstanding.

Chef Ghost: Idia-kun? Would it be fine to continue on like this?

Idia: .....Yeah.

Chef Ghost: First, let's prep the bell peppers. Cut off the ends, then using your fingers, remove the seeds and the white part.

It's really sticky and difficult to remove, but if you leave it there, it will taste bad. Make sure you remove them properly.

Idia: Slicing a round bell pepper on a flat cutting board... Ughhh, it's not steady.

It isn't funny that I might get an injury because of a class I don't care about. I have to hold it tightly... And, carefully.... Carefully...

TAP!

Idia: Phew... That was nerve-wracking. So, next is removing the insides using my fingers... Ughh, I really don't like this soggy feeling...

Chef Ghost: Be gentle and careful to not damage the bell pepper. But, there's still a lot of work to do, so don't spend too long on it

Idia: Wh-which one.....!? Do I be careful or quick!? These seeds sticking to my hands... is the worst..

Chef Ghost: After removing the seeds, slice the bell peppers into 2 cm wide, round slices.

Make sure the pieces are cut evenly so that the thicknesses are not inconsistent.

Idia: If you're going to keep on pushing me like that, shouldn't you consider using a method that doesn't involve a kitchen knife!?

Chef Ghost: You don't have to think too hard about this. It's just for reference.

Idia: Ah, so it's fine as long as it's within the default range? Then, you should've said so in the first place.

Chef Ghost: Next is to make the seeds that will be stuffed inside. And then, you put the ingredients in the bowl according to the amount written on the recipe.

Idia: The items that need to be measured are... 1/4 cup of breadcrumbs, 2 tablespoons of milk, eggs, salt, and powdered pepper... “A little”?

There it is... “A little”. That unreproducible instruction that was left by the creator based on their knowledge and preferences.

It's seriously confusing. For example, if I liked pepper, I would've probably changed my mind about “a little” seasoning???

Chef Ghost: That's right~ With this recipe, I'd say to use about three shakes of the small bottle. Lightly shake your wrist, then pa-pa-pa it around.

Idia: Onomatopoeic sounds!? Eh, but with the amount of force applied when you snap it with the wrist, the differences in physique, and more would cause tons of calculation errors.

Chef Ghost: I-I never thought I would be asked so many questions.

Idia: ...Haa, well, never mind. It would be a hassle to deal with this any longer, so I'll just shake it to whatever I like.

Chef Ghost: But still, you sure pay attention to even the smallest details. Are you getting a little more interested in cooking?

* Idia: No......? Eh, how did that happened...?

In.... In the first place, I really have no interest in food itself. In fact, I often forget to eat.....

Chef Ghost: Ehhh!? But your family will be worried!

Idia: Well.... What's done is done, yes.. My younger brother somehow packs way stronger stuff than those nutritional management apps.

When I decided to take this class, he told me: “I hope this would be a chance for you to get interested in cooking.”

Chef Ghost: You have a good younger brother, huh. So, how was the experience with this course?

Idia: I understood even more stuff again after actually working here. Cooking for myself is super inefficient.

It's already a lot of pain to just eat, but if you cook for yourself, you won't have enough time to do it, and nothing beats a completely nutritional diet.

Chef Ghost: M-Master Chef is backfiring!? But, you see, cooking appliances have evolved quite a lot these days!

There are even pots that automatically cook the food for you if you put the necessary ingredients and seasonings in it!

Idia: Eh..... With a convenient pot like that, wouldn't it be unnecessary to learn how to cook from scratch?

Chef Ghost: No, no, you would still have to do the work of cutting the ingredients and measuring the seasoning by yourself.

Idia: Why is that part still an analog!? You can do better with home appliances!

Chef Ghost: Really? I think it's pretty amazing.

Idia: If it's called “automatic cooking”, I'd like it to at least do the food prep and measurements of the seasoning.

Something like just putting the ingredients in the pot, covering it with a lid, waiting for a while, then serving it on a plate.

Chef Ghost: If such a pot really existed, we might lose our jobs.

Idia: If I were to hypothetically make an “Idia Shroud-style cooking machine”..... I'll definitely quantify the “a little” term first.

And to do that, we would need to collect data based on the actual cooking process.

If I'm going to make it, I want to replicate a taste made by a pro.

Chef, I'm going to collect data for the production of the cooking machine, can I leave the actual work to you?

Chef Ghost: No, of course not! It's fine that you're motivated now, but make sure you finish it properly by yourself until the end!

TO BE CONTINUED...

translation note:

i used 'bell peppers' instead of 'paprika', which is written in the original text, because it パプリカ is used for both the fruit and the spice. here, they are using the fruit instead.