#WHY ARE ALL MY FOUNDERS JUST DYING

[wyrm-clangen]

I'm starting to think we're cursed, tbh.

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[badass-queer-couples-battle]

Gay wrongs tournament, semifinals of the losers bracket

Propaganda:

For Wen Kexing and Zhou Zishu:

you've got the founder of the fantasy ancient Chinese CIA and the leader of what is essentially the mafia and then they're soulmates and in love. they're both willing to kill anyone who dares hurt the other while also just wanting a soft domestic life together

Zhou Zishu is an assassin and spymaster who put the current Emperor on the throne, and then quit his job by faking his death (kinda, hes still dying but not as fast as he was supposed to). Had done A Lot on his old job, including murdering children (more than one, and at least one of them in a way I can't even describe without several trigger warnings), exterminating whole families, war crimes (and i dont mean this in a buzzword way, i mean "organized a public execution of foreign diplomats during war time")… btw he doesn't feel particularly bad about any of this, because he believes it was necessary. Like he wouldn't do it for fun, but he thinks the ends (putting a good Emperor on the throne) justified the means (all of the atrocities). As a retiree, he definitely cut down on the amount of morally reprehensible murder, but not murder in general. He still routinely kills ppl, he just doesn't go out of his way to kill more. Wen Kexing, meanwhile, is the Ghost Valley Master - Ghost Valley being a place where the worst of criminals are exiled. Even in such a place, he has reputation as a complete lunatic, owed partially to the fact that he either skinned a man or fed him his own flesh or both at one point, and partially to him having a rule where he would kill anyone who came closer than 3 meters to him. But in truth, everything he'd done was to survive the Ghost Valley and eventually take revenge for his parents, who were brutally murdered when he was only nine. By the start of the novel's timeline, he put his plan in motion - the plan that would drown jianghu in blood, but also deliver poetic justice to all responsible for his parents' deaths, as well as all who'd commit the same crime given the chance. And these two men, these two murderers and schemers, meet - and unexpectedly, find in each other the person who /understands/. The person who is just as ruthless and whose hands are just as bloody, but also the person who knows standing at the top of the world is not worth it, who seeks the same freedom of leaving it all behind, and who is still, underneath it all, a human, with human heart seeking connection. So you have this couple who understand each other with barely a word, and who want the same things - who are so hungry for domesticity and for people they can just goof around with when all their lives they had to measure every step and word - but ALSO where one half a couple is like "i gotta go murder hundreds in revenge" and the other half is like "ok pick you up at 6". (This btw is why I'm submitting novel's iteration of the couple in particular. Show wenzhou with their ridiculous breakups over morality could Never.) Also they were both hiding who they are when they first met, and later flirted about having figured each other out. Finally, I'll leave you my favorite quote that just. perfectly sums up their relationship: "And just like that, they fell asleep in each other's arms, steeped in the smell of blood."

You’ve probably already had submissions for them but I’ll add on. One of them founded an assassin’s guild and killed a staggering number of people. His malewife is the leader of a sect of insane murderous outcasts, and he attained his position by proving to be the most crazy and murder happy of them all. Most of the plot involves him wandering around watching his schemes get more people killed. Together they adopt a kid that was only orphaned due to said scheming (oops). They’re terrible and I love them.

For Legolas and Gimli:

They literally have a running competition between the two over who has more kills. And non-canon my ass, Legolas took Gimli to valinor

They kill alot of orcs together. They make it into a competition. Better minds than i have spoken about the couple ness

[astreia-oniria]

MCL NEW GEN THEORY(S)

But Astreia, surely it's too soon to start making theories! NO IT'S NOT, IT'S NEVER TOO SOON FOR ME.

I've been dying to share this theory(s) since the game came out last week, but my Tumblr wasn't working properly. Now that it's apparently fixed I can't wait to share and see what you all think. Will you agree? Will you think I've gone mental? We'll find out 😂

WARNING: the following text contains spoilers of the first two episodes of MCL New Gen. Do not keep reading if you haven't played Episode 2 (or well you can continue reading under your responsability if you don't care about spoilers).

Let me precede this by saying that this isn't a full-fledged theory. Since we're only two episodes into the game, I don't have enough evidence to back this up completely, so I'm calling it an inkling rather than a proper theory.

My inkling/theory is about Jason, Roy, Devon and how their enmity goes beyond just a professional rivalry. It's kind of divided into two parts or two inklings/theories:

THE FACTS (PART 1: ROY'S ROLE IN DEVENEMENTIEL)

Let's start with what we learn from Roy.

He says he and Devon grew up together, went to college together and decided to embark on a bussiness together (though it wasn't his true calling).

But why would he get involved into something that wasn't his true calling? Was it only because of Devon's influence? Roy says Devon's mother babysitted and he spent quite some time with him back then, so maybe Roy's parents are wealthy and he's the investor or equity partner behind Devenementiel.

When Amanda is telling Ysaline "it's the boss who decides", Roy appears and says "are you talking about me?".

This is curious because he clearly heard what she was saying, but made that jab anyway. Was it possible that he wasn't joking? That he was joking by telling the truth?

After that, he says he's Devon's second in charge.

Yes, maybe Devon put him in that position because Roy is his friend, but that isn't professional if Roy only knows about sport events.

Amanda continues by saying he's wrong and that he's like the rest of the team, but Roy answers by saying "well, not exactly like the rest... well, whatever".

It looks like he was going to say more, like he's refering to not being actually at the same level as the rest of the team.

This isn't a huge detail but he calls Devon "the big boss" and you normaly use that term when there are more bosses around.

He kind of deflects Ysaline's question about wheter he's only in charge of sport events.

He is in the New Palace meeting, something that doesn't involve sports. Apart from Ysaline, the meeting seems to involve bosses/owners (Jason, Devon, the New Palace's owner...) and not team members.

CONCLUSION 1:

I really think Roy is co-founder and co-owner of Devenementiel and that he might be the one who financed the company. I think he's also our boss but he is playing coy about it. Knowing what we do about him, I don't think he likes the normal boss-like relationships with his employees and prefers to be "in the field" with them, being part of their team, and leaving other matters to Devon. That would make sense for a guy with his attitude.

THE FACTS (PART 2: THE HOSTILITY BETWEEN DEVON, ROY & JASON)

Now let's see what we learn from the whole Devenementiel vs. Goldreamz situation:

Roy is extremely upset and angry at anything Jason or Goldreamz.

This might be normal between rivals, but I can't help but think Roy's reactions are too extreme and there seems to be some kind of resentment.

Roy calls Jason "cheater and thief" and specifies that it's not only in relation to Danica.

This is what got me thinking hard about everything, because Roy went too far and if it's not about Danica, then about what could it be? Of course, it could be about Goldreamz getting their deals, but again it reads like too much for a professional rivalry.

Jason refers to Roy as Devon's guardian dog.

Not super important, but I get the feeling that Jason, Devon and Roy knows each other too well, and that Jason says this like it irks him. Could it be some bitterness?

Devon says to the New Palace's owner that "we've crossed paths already" refering to Jason.

This could just be something normal to say, but he doesn't add anything about their paths crossing because of bussiness. So maybe he's referencing knowing each other for a long time because of other motives.

Jason showing up and trying way too hard to get in Devenementiel's way.

It could be for the sake of the story, but isn't it too much? Could there be other reasons behind his behaviour?

CONCLUSION 2:

This is the "inkling" part of the theory, I guess. I have a hunch that Devon, Roy and Jason not only have known each other for a long time, but that they were actually friends. I think that maybe Jason was one of the other kids Devon's mother babysitted or that maybe they met in college, that they started their journeys and careers together. I think Jason and Devon (who are clearly more into events production & management than Roy) had this dream of starting a company and that Roy got on board with their friends so they could all work and be together. And I think something went horribly worng in the process.

I think that whatever happened between them might have been a misunderstanding relating to projects and/or money (hence the cheater and thief comment), something that framed Jason and turned Devon and Roy against him and in turn made Jason bitter about their friends not believing him.

Having this into account, there are a few possibilities that I can think off:

They founded Goldreamz, Devon and Roy left and Jason got the company (another posssible reson for Roy callin him thief), so Devon and Roy founded Devenementiel.

They founded Devenementiel and Jason was forced to leave, so he founded Goldreamz for revenge (and paying the bills obviously).

Everything happened at the early stages of creating a company, so maybe an external investor or something gave the project to one of them (possibly Jason) because they weren't sure about the others, and this was seen as a betrayal.

If anything about my theory proves to be right, then Ysaline will be able to get to the core of this a resolve the misunderstanding, getting Devon, Roy and Jason to make up (not before having us siding with someone and making drama 😂). This could lead to the future fusion of both Devenementiel and Goldreamz and a happy ending for all the characters.

And that's it, that's all. If I see more evidence in future episodes I will update this. So what do you say, have I read too much into everything? Do you agree with my theory or have anything to add to it? Let me know what you guys think.

I think that you should go out more and stop overanalyzing games, Astreia.

[prettypeppermint]

amazing grace.

for t. shelby a prelude to 'the gift of silence. (how sweet the sound)'

“My, what a dear sight: Thomas Shelby, Peaky Blinder and founder of Shelby Brothers Limited, fucking a whore on the same desk he signs business deals on.”

Your languid body, draped with the tender silks of your night slip, leaned against the door frame. The strong oak plowed against your supple shoulder and tugged at the pink lace pooling in your clavicle. A slim cigarette drooped like a petal from your rosy fingertips which rested near your naked thigh.

You watched, unamused, as Thomas repeatedly rutted into the thing, his eyes staring directly into yours. Despite the dimness of it all--of the sex-stained chamber and the way the dying lamps made the room appear dipped in oil--his sharp, diamond eyes still cut through the haze.

You took a quaint draw of your cigarette and fixed your gaze on the girl, tilting your head at the way she convulsed and thawed into the mahogany. You pushed yourself off the frame and let yourself in, crossing the threshold into sin.

Your bare feet made slow steps across the dry panels and stopped in front of her. You used your hand free of the cigarette to pet the crown of her head, smoothing down her jostled, earthy locks.

You shushed her softly, quietly, though it came from a dwelling deep within your heart. Your fingers tightened at her roots and pulled her head up so you could see her disheveled face. "You're a pretty one," you stated, observing the way her nose sloped perfectly into her cupid's bow. Her shaky, glossy eyes could barely keep your gaze as they kept rolling to the back of her head. Obscene moans and small cries escaped her bobbing throat.

You took another puff from your smoke. "I know you think you've caught a big fish, but really--Thomas Shelby isn't any less a minnow than every other man in this Godless city when it comes to pretty lasses like you." Your voice was befitting of the night--quiet and something of the tide.

You traced her tear-stained cheek with your thumb. "Do you know why you're here, bent over his work desk in the first place, love? It's because the last pretty thing that wandered into Mr. Shelby's trousers put all our heads on the line--right after her own, pretty little blonde one."

Immediately after the last sour-coated words left your lips, the girl burst into a million ecstacies, and Thomas gave her one last soundless pound before leaving her empty and hollow on the nippy wood.

You let go of her head and it dropped to the desk--as if she craved its cold companionship.

Your eyes found Thomas's.

"So this is who you are now? A whore fucker is no more than a whore, himself, y'know."

"Who I fuck"--he zipped up his knickers and took a swig of Irish whiskey left out from the morning on his desk--"concerns no one. Least of all you."

You slowly snubbed your cigarette out on his expensive, lacquered desk. "Don't get cute," you said, pulling out a couple extra shillings than girls like Lizzie are used to seeing after a long day. You stretched at her unbuttoned collar and pressed them into her bra. "On you go, love. Don't come back.” You said the last part mainly to yourself, but it didn't go unnoticed in the weight of the room. You loathed her life for her.

A minute sigh, heavy with something dire and secretive, escaped Thomas's nose as the lax girl collected her stray garments from off the floor and flitted out of the room. He never looked at her, though she seemed to burn for it.

Thomas leaned the small of his back against the edges of his desk, staring off at something distant in that vacant way he always does.

"It seems as though everybody in the city respects Thomas Shelby except yourself,” you said.

You never called him Tommy, and you never would. Nicknames are for kin and lovers, and he was just pristine, clean-cut Thomas.

He didn't respond. He didn't move save a subtle tensing of the muscle in his jaw. You made your way next to him, propping yourself up on the desk. Your legs dangled in the air as the hem of your slip rode up your thighs. He passed his whiskey glass over to you without sparing you even a glance, and you took a sizable swig.

Since it was evident he wouldn't be doing much of the talking, you started up.

"Men are weak. They get dumb in the head when anything with a cunt passes by. A primal urge--makes you animals." You looked at the wooden wall and imagined you were seeing the same thing he was as he stared right through it. A moment of silence--a hidden breath--hitched and made the room swell--the wood crack.

"I loved Grace, too. In my own way," you continued softly, matter-of-factly. You handed the glass back to him. He could tell you've had a little too much already. "I saw something in her that I had been chasing my entire life. It made me admire her."

"And what's that," his voice croaked, raspy from the silence that grew familiar to his throat's walls--like a tumor.

"She had love." Slowly, as if unfolding like a picture, you began to see the invisible landscape Thomas saw in the grain of the walls. "It made her strong. Gave her something to fight for, and then later something to lose."

This, Thomas realized, was the most you've confided to him in years. You looked so vulnerable, so lush in your unguarded, slightly slouched form. He saw glimpses of your Irish youth in your tired yet glistening eyes.

You were never a predictable woman.

A silence spanned and stretched at the air in the room. The more it did, the hotter you got.

"I've never had that, Thomas. And you should be grateful you did for at least a little while, because even if you fail at your multiple hands and end up rotting in the canal, you would have died a man who knew love. So stop slouching and moping and fucking sorry whores and get back on your feet."

He didn't like the way curses sounded coming from your mouth--from that pretty little voice. Your usual mellow demeanor had faltered for the first time in front of him.

You didn't wait for him to hand you the glass this time, as you swiped it out of his grasp and downed the last ounce of amber fire. "You're Thomas fucking Shelby. But right now you're just pathetic."

At this, his hand clasped around your slender neck, almost simultaneously with his lips as they crashed into yours. He repositioned himself between your legs so his knee could pry and tease at them. His callused hand was strong and warm as it crept from your throat to that sweet nook between the back of your neck and the bend of your jaw. His fingers cupped your cheek and raked through your freshly washed hair. Your slip had collected in a wrinkle of crests at your hips and you subconsciously waited for your exposed thighs to be seared with his radiating palms. But he stopped himself. He pulled away. And yet again, there was that vacant distance.

"Don't tell me about not knowing love. I loved Grace the way you've always loved me." His voice was so low you had to furrow your brows to make out every word--every syllable--so that you could ensure you weren't going crazy. "I see it. Every day. I fuckin' feel it every time you look at the back of my neck. You love me. And you're filthy for it."

For an impossible measure of time, you saw him for something he wasn't.

His thumb swiped past your chilled earlobe, bringing your forehead to his. "She sang these songs. And I heard in all of them your stories."

You wanted to shoot him. And kiss him. And kill him. Hell, you just wanted him.

"But I could never have you. No, not when you put on such a tough act with a face like that and make a mess of yourself and everything else--messes I needed to clean up and protect you from." With this, he gave your face a little shake with his hand still embedded in your locks.

It was impossibly gentle and genuine and moronic. It was simply just impossible.

His whiskey-licked breath stung with every lap he took at your salted wounds. You both stayed like this until the ticking of the clock became jilted and painful.

You looked into his wayward eyes one final time, swallowing a heavy sigh before slowly slipping off the table, past his burning body and out the door.

It was as good a goodbye as any.

All humans have ever needed was love, so why is it that when it's finally within the palms of our hands--no matter how much we cherish it, kindle its erratic flame, breathe life into it--it always seems to betray us?

x.

[murfpersonalblog]

IWTV S2 Ep3 - Random Musings (Spoilers)

This was the best S2 ep by far; they're just getting better & better. I have so much to say; I can't even keep up. This is just the random stuff I don't have AS MUCH to comment on (yet).

AMC, we GOTTA get some flashbacks of Papa DPDL. We know so much about Les' folks, but nothing about Lou's pops. :(

Not "Real Rashid" going bar for bar vs Sartre abt morality & evil!? 👏

"Wolf Wrangler," I hate this effing show so much, please stop it.

SANTIAGO BACKSTORY LFG; we're finally being fed!

Ohhhhh.... Francis "Santiago" Naughton, I see~! They're definitely leaning into the Sant-"iago" of it all from Othello--nice touch!

1921--Santiago's a BABY vampire. (And omg he loved Annika's "performance" so much that he incorporated it into his regular lineup! Sickos! XD) I saw the Siophmedia review call it the Mimic Gift, which I love--expanding the AR lore.

Thoughts & prayers to this dude, being stuck for all eternity as an old man; relegated to backstage work with the noob stuck for all eternity as a little girl. (Hilarious how this is in blatant violation/disregard of Marius & Rhosh's Great Law #2 about beauty.)

Vampires sneeze?! 😂 Estelle is the ONLY Theatre vamp I like, bless!

ROTFLMFAO. Humor on this show comes from the WILDEST of places; I love it.

Someone's saaaaaaltyyyyyy~! 👀👀👀👀

Welp, now we know where Louis'll spend "ETERNITY IN A BOX," when they drag him in that burlap sack.

Louis' a strong independent man don't need no coven! 😤👏 Especially not you WEIRDOS. Monsieur LDPDL would NEVER allow anyone to make him act like a clownish BUFFOON on some stage, or write/film creepshows everyone points and laughs at, are you crazy?

Louis said SKILL ISSUE. 💀

Don't act coy now! XD You go and OWN your bussypowers, Louis of Troy! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

I am STUNNED this trash liar won a Pulitzer for investigative journalism. Truly a dying industry.

Armand, my love, you have no idea. 👀

Deflection & misdirection, as usual with these vamps.

SHADE.

Roget the "FIRST" eh?... 🧛🏼 This completely removes Nicki as the founder of the Theatre, but I guess it makes sense that Armand would be the one communicating with Roget, cuz lord knows Nicki wasn't "fit to pick an apple off a tree in his current state...." 👀👐 Louis, Armand's fed you a crock of lies; don't be fooled by his pretty doe eyes! You were SET UP, my guy; he was SICK of that coven for hundreds of years; WAY b4 Lestat AND YOU showed up!

Then he hangs Lestat's portrait on the wall as a shrine and says he's their co-founder, while breathing not a word about how Lestat gave the Theatre TO NICKI, NOT ARMAND. Where's Nicki at, Armand!? 👀👐 Where's Claudia at, Armand!? 👀☀️ Why do all of Lestat's fledglings go missing under YOUR supervision, Mr. I Could Not Prevent It? I swear, those 🥺👉👈 eyes are lethal weapons!

STUNT QUEEN. Behind every gay man is a gayer, more evil man!

And he took that PERSONALLY.

Siri, google when butt-plugs were first invented.

Armand's FACE! 😭 Yeah, Lou don't make a lick of sense sometimes. Thank god he's pretty! But for every ounce of pretty there's another TONNE of mental trauma. If I were Armand, I'd've cut my losses and left Lou's arse to "Bruce" right then & there. Now look at you!

Incredible episode. 👏

Preview for Ep4:

I hate it here. 😱

I'm sorry, but I simply CANNOT with Loumand, knowing what's coming. I never have, and at this rate I NEVER WILL! Armand, I don't care what weird dynamics you & Lou are always up to, but by putting your hands on MY daughter!? DISHONOR!

Armand, Louis is right: you just earned yourself a spot on my hit list.

I'll rant about Loumand specifically in a separate post--this ep was A LOT, omg I'm exhausted.

[bringthekaos]

one of my personal favourite Jayce and Viktor scenes are when they’re showing off the Atlas Gauntlets and Hexclaw to Heimerdinger. It’s got a certain amount of catharsis to it, hearing them talk about mining efficiency and artificers when we all know they’re both going to be exclusively used as weapons (I like to imagine the writers sitting around a white board trying to figure out a peaceful reason why someone would invent a death laser). And also because, I noticed that a lot of Viktor’s story telling and foreshadowing is explicitly done a lot more physically then almost any other character, and the way the Hexclaw was show when he was using it is just *chefs kiss*, and I’d imagine that if you were going into the show well aware of lol lore and were expecting him to be way more evil, it would have been a bit more tense, almost akin to the “at last, my arm is complete again” scene from Sweeney Todd.

Yesssss! See, I went into it totally blind, didn’t know anything about lol lore at the time. And even then I could sense that they were trying to foreshadow something, especially with that one shot of him looking a little manic as he says “Hextech that evolves.”

And then I got obsessed and went down the Machine Herald rabbit hole, learning anything and everything I could about him, and then on second watch I was like oooooohhhhhhh. It’s everywhere. The way the Hexclaw is positioned over his left shoulder in that scene, the way they cut from Viktor to Sevika throwing down these cards.

And even in more subtle clues, like the scene where he disarms Jinx’s bomb—at first he was precise and careful, making no mistakes as he showed it to Mel. But then Jayce said something that angered him, and he let his emotions get in the way of his precision, and that anger caused him rip away a portion of the bomb without care, thereby setting it off.

But yeah, the scene where he and Jayce show Heimer the Hexclaw and Atlas Gauntlets is definitely the most saturated. You know it actually got me thinking about Christian Linke’s comment about champions not having plot armor, and that they’re not immune to dying… what if Viktor ends up killing Heimerdinger? With the Hexclaw, in a similar fashion to how the camera angle initially made it look like Viktor had fired at him.

Oooof. Like… I don’t particularly like Heimerdinger, but the thought of Viktor killing him, a pinnacle of Piltover society and one of its founders? They will despise you, indeed.

Just can’t wait for all of this intricate foreshadowing they’ve done to come to fruition. It’s going to hurt so good.

[silverynight]

Alive!Tanjuro AU time!

…

The Corps couldn’t believe that this skinny frail looking man defeated the Demon King.

“Uh, I didn’t actually do anything and neither did that thing… That demon just screamed so loud and disintegrated away into ashes…”

“Seriously???”

“Yeah, he just shouted ‘Yoriichi?!’ and died from fear in front of my house.”

“Um ok…”

…

Tanjiro is legitimately confused that the Hashira and even most other lower ranking slayers are sending him loads of gifts compared to his father. His dad scared the Demon King into dying just because he looked eerily like Yoriichi, the founder of Breathing Styles who nearly killed Muzan!

The eldest son thinks that they’re doing this out of kindness for his family as a whole. But he accepts the pretty kimonos/haoris, hair ties/accessories, flowers and even exotic foods nonetheless. I bet the bedroom is becoming stuffed full of gifted boxes.

The Kamados will need to build an extra room, attic or basement lol.

…

Tanjurou’s lips is in a thin line and frowning a bit, not having his usual signature chill smile, “So you all want to date my eldest son?”

The Hashira are bowing and their heads are touching the ground despite shivering in nervousness, “Yessir!”

“Of course! We are serious about this!”

“Please give us a chance!”

…

Oh man, if Muzan died from his heart attacks, all demons will follow suit and die with him.

“What?! I’m disintegrating!!!”

“No no no! I don’t wanna die!”

“Aww shit We are all going to Hell…”

“Why did our boss still have that trauma of that man?”

Or maybe in a more merciful route they’ll convert back into their humanity (the ages they were transformed into) and age naturally. Though some of these demons turned humans will still commit crimes.

“I’m no longer powerful??”

“Huh? We are free from him?”

“I’m free? I’m free! I don’t have to be coworkers with a jerk like you anymore! Wooohooo!”

But maybe some of the less vile demons turned humans will find gratitude in whoever freed their curse and will genuinely redeem themselves.

Human Akaza/Hakuji ready to meet the person who finally defeated Muzan and therefore returned his humanity to him only to fall in love with his eldest son, Tanjirou.

The Pillars are having none of it.

[annalyticall]

Thoughts on Attack on Titan

Me being 10 years late to things, I was recently convinced to watch Attack on Titan and I ended up binge-watching the entire anime (and reading the final manga chapters) these last two weeks. I had purposefully been dragging my feet about watching this show since I had heard so much controversy surrounding it; that it was sexist, pro-fascist, pro-nazi, pro-imperialist, pro-propaganda, and heavily anti-Semitic. All pretty good reasons to stay away from something, I think.

But then I saw a video about how the criticisms leveraged against it were not quite so black-and-white, and how the show was more complex than those labels gave it credit for. Admittedly, that piqued my interest. I want to come to my own conclusions about the media I consume, so I decided to watch it with an open mind and a discerning eye.

And boy did I discern... a lot.

I am recording my very very lengthy opinions about Attack on Titan and its manga ending under the cut, mostly so that if anyone asks how I feel about certain things portrayed in the show, I can reference them to this post. Here's a quick table of contents:

The Themes

The Good

The Bad

The Problems

The Characters

Conclusion (and why Jean is the best character you can't change my mind)

Anime and Manga spoilers ahead.

The Themes

Attack on Titan tackles a lot of different themes throughout the course of the story. Possibly too many. Right now, I'm listing the big ones I noticed here because I will be referencing back to them later. Also note I am stating these themes as they are presented in the text, not as my own personal beliefs.

The human desire to create meaning in life and death. Does dying for a cause give life meaning? If the cause is hopeless, would dying for that cause be in vain? Is it enough to know that the living will continue your legacy after death? Does honoring the dead give their life meaning? Is the gift of life itself meaningless if not used to ensure humanity's ongoing survival? Is it enough to simply exist? Characters that most embody this theme: Zeke, Eren, Armin, Jean, Levi, Hange, Erwin, Historia, Ymir (of the Cadets), Marlow.

Everyone is shackled to a dream. Does the desire to fulfill a dream make you a slave to it? Will devoting your life to a dream of freedom make you paradoxically a slave to the very ideal? Will the hope of achieving a dream drive people to do terrible things they never would have otherwise? Is true freedom in the ability to let go of a long-held dream? Characters that most embody this theme: Erwin, Eren, Levi, Kenny, Armin, Jean.

The corrupting power of love and loyalty. Similar to an enslaving dream, will blind devotion to someone (in a romantic, platonic, subordinate, or familial relationship) drive that person to do terrible things just to be with them or make them happy? How far can that love go? Is blind devotion even love? Is it wise to love if it creates fatal weakness? Characters that most embody this theme: Mikasa, Armin, Eren, Zeke, Annie, Reiner, Falco, Historia, Ymir (of the Cadets), Ymir (The Founder).

The cycle of violence is endless. As long as more than one person is alive on Earth, there will always be conflict. Is it worth fighting to break the cycle when the cycle is inevitable? Is it necessary to perpetuate the cycle in order to survive in a world that forces violence? Is humanity worthy of saving if saving it demands the loss of one's own humanity? Characters that most embody this theme: Erwin, Eren, Armin, Reiner, Jean, Floch, Hange, Levi.

The pursuit of truth and wonder are the driving forces behind humanity's ability to work together. Propaganda and the obstruction of truth might work to pacify the populace short-term but will always be defeated once people put in the effort to truly understand others and the world they live in. The promise of discovery and truth are invaluable sources of hope and ingenuity. Characters that most embody this theme: Hange, Armin, Erwin.

People are people. Everyone is capable of great evil or great kindness, regardless of what nation, class, or race they were born into. Everyone has strengths and everyone has weaknesses. Everyone is influenced by their own hopes and dreams. The recognition of these innate similarities is crucial for forgiveness and acceptance across boundaries. Characters that most embody this theme: Reiner, Jean, Eren, Armin, Sasha, Gabi, Falco.

There is no accurate measure of good and evil. Being a "good person" is subjective, based more on personal goals and cultural ideals than on a base standard for "good." When faced with a difficult decision, perhaps it is best to choose whatever option will cause the least regret, a measure that is unique to everyone depending on an individual's values and on unknown outcomes. Live a life you can be proud of. Characters that most embody this theme: Armin, Annie, Levi, Jean, Eren, Reiner, Gabi, Ymir (of the Cadets), Historia

As you might have noticed, I chose to summarize many of these themes in a list of questions, and for good reason: oftentimes, the theme is raising a question but is almost never interested in giving it a straightforward answer. Instead, AOT will often raise a question, and over the course of the story, you get to come to your own conclusions depending on how the characters act. For example, I listed Jean as a character that embodies "meaning in life and death." Does Jean give Marco's death meaning by honoring his memory and values each time he's faced with a moral dilemma? That's up for the audience (and Jean) to decide.

Compared to other shonen that tackles similar themes and questions, this freedom of interpretation was novel for me, and for the most part, I loved it. Fullmetal Alchemist is the only other shonen I can think of that I've seen that touches on similar subject matter, but the tone of FMA is not nearly as dark, bleak, or ambiguous. While I also love FMA, the world of AOT is much more harrowing to navigate, and I found it exhilarating to have my preconceptions of its world challenged at every turn. Such a thematic approach felt grounded since real life is also not so easy to navigate. Unfortunately, this also has a glaring downside, which I will discuss in my "The Problems" section.

The Good

The first 3 seasons and almost everything that entails. To be quite honest I have very little to criticize about this show before the basement reveal. The pacing is almost perfect and I was always on the edge of my seat wanting to know more. The mysteries are intriguing and, upon slowly getting more and more answers, the narrative either only raised more tantalizing questions or completely recontextualized previous scenes, constantly giving the show new breath. The action is exciting, the stakes are heart-poundingly high, the losses are devastating, and the gore is graphic and stomach-churning but I think it necessary to absorb the horrifying and hopeless nature of the setting, which serves to heighten the few victories the characters actually do get to experience. There also isn't much of The Problems yet in these seasons.

The music. The soundtrack is undoubtedly one of the best aspects of this show and is quality throughout.

Animation. While I prefer the fluid and expressive animation of the first three seasons compared to MAPPA's comparatively stiffer animation of the final season, MAPPA still gave plenty of jaw-dropping sequences for the most impactful moments.

A tragic, queer, CANON romance. The fact that Ymir is canonically lesbian is amazing to me if only because I haven't watched a shonen yet where one of the main cast is actually lesbian, let alone has a significant portion of screen time devoted to establishing her unambiguous feelings for another woman who also reciprocates her feelings. AND THEN their romance ends tragically in-universe not because it's gay but because of narrative circumstances that were simply beyond their control or understanding. "My only regret is not marrying you." How romantic is that?

Female character design. Specifically all the big noses. As a big-nose-haver it makes me happy to see women have big noses and still being seen as pretty. That, paired with the fact that women are hardly ever sexualized and are often portrayed just as strong if not stronger than the men was nice to see after being exposed to so many infantilizing and sexualizing shonen tropes. That said, there could have been more diversity in body shape and skin tone.

The setting (of Paradis). I am going to stress here that I strictly like the world-building of Paradis, which is the main setting of the first three seasons. Marley and the rest of the world after Season 3? I'll get into that later.

Erwin vs. Armin. I consider Levi's decision to save Armin over Erwin to be the true thematic climax of this story, and I thought it was exceptionally well done. I've seen endless arguments about whether or not saving Armin was the right choice, so I'll throw in my two cents: if you think Levi should have saved Erwin, you are Missing The Point. In this moment, Levi, a character who fights for the greater good but is not quite as pragmatic as Erwin and who has a deep hope for humanity's future but is not quite as idealistic as Armin must make an emotional choice here, not a tactical one. Maybe saving Erwin might have been better for the Scouts, but the truth is Erwin was selfish, and Levi had already come to terms with this when he told his old commander to "give up on your dream and charge to your death." Armin, on the other hand, had a pure and selfless dream about the world outside the walls, and that is what Levi decided to value for humanity's future. That is the symbolic meaning of that decision, not whether or not Erwin would have been a tactically better commander.

It is enough to simply exist. Manga spoilers for the final chapters ahead. I said this was a question raised by one of the main themes of the story, "Is it enough to simply exist?", and I was pleasantly surprised that the ending gave it an answer through the conversation Armin has with Zeke. After so much deliberation about genocide, sterilization, war, the inherent and unbreakable cycle of violence, and so many other depressing themes surrounding the depraved nature of humanity, having the main takeaway for the series be "we were put on this Earth simply to enjoy it and to enjoy each other" was a cathartic release. I know I'm probably going to cry when that bit is animated.

The Bad

The frustrating thing that is Eren Yeager. I suppose this is biased but I really do not gel with Eren. Even in his Season 1-3 era I did not like him and his one-track angry boy mind, only ever finding him tolerable during the Uprising arc when he got a healthy dose of humility which he immediately ruined with his pitiful self-flagellation in the midst of a dire titan battle but I digress. This characterization does make a whole lot more sense though when he enters Season 4, when all of his personality traits are only slightly twisted in order to make him the villain, ala Walter White. Didn't make him any less frustrating.

The frustrating thing that is Mikasa Ackerman. She started out great. Then Eren turned into a titan for the first time and things quickly went downhill. After that, it seems like her character was retroactively changed from being the stoic and protective older sister to being the blindingly devoted and fussy love interest. I might have been okay with it if she had ANY other defining character traits, or hell, even any relationships outside of Eren and Armin. Manga spoilers, but she doesn't even have a strong relationship with Jean, who she apparently marries in the epilogue. Between Eren and Mikasa being two of the three main characters, I unfortunately felt very little towards them which was a not-so-small problem in my enjoyment of the series.

The humor is... fine. I get it, a show as dark as Attack on Titan probably shouldn't try to be funny, nor would I expect it to be. Still, the few attempts at humor it did have fell flat for me, especially when a lot of it leaned on Sasha's potato and meat gags (and a really uncomfortable torture gag after the Uprising Arc? Hey, what was that about? That was kinda fucked up, right?) Now that I think about it, the hardest I ever laughed while watching this show was when Reiner nonchalantly tells Eren that he and Bertolt are the Armor and Colossal Titans simply because I wasn't expecting the biggest bombshell reveal of the story thus far to be so casually dropped like that.

The Titan mechanics got so fucking convoluted. Don't get me wrong I love a good mystery and I don't necessarily mind the supernatural time-warping twists that the Titan storyline took up to a point. It's just that the story kept adding so many conditions to Titan powers and lore that it was getting hard to keep track of it all. Okay, so the Colossal Titan will create an unavoidable nuke during transformation even though it clearly didn't do that at the raid on Trost, sure. Okay, so Reiner can survive a fatal injury to his person as long as he manages to transfer his consciousness to the Titan body first, sure. Okay, so Eren can't awaken the Founding Titan's ability unless he's in contact with someone of royal blood, sure. Okay, so the Founding Titan's abilities can alter the biology of all Eldians, and also control all Titans, and also deactivate all Titan hardening, and also impose the will of the king onto all its future royal successors, but it's somehow NOT the Titan with the power to see the future? Sure? Okay, so Falco inherited the Jaw Titan, but because he was originally turned with Zeke's spinal fluid, he ALSO inherited aspects of the Beast Titan even though Zeke is still the Beast Titan and it's never been established that the spinal fluid used for the original Titan transformation affected the inheritance of Titan shifter abilities? Why not, at this point.

Uprising Arc and its overly simplistic military coup. I didn't dislike the arc as a whole, but it was a very lengthy detour from the main objectives the series was already on track for and added to the repetition of Eren getting kidnapped. Additionally, I thought the coup to overthrow the old government was too... easy? It was really only made up of two setups: one to expose the corruption of some random military police guy to the press and turn public opinion in favor of the Scouts, and one to expose the government's selfishness to the military commanders enough to convince them to depose their current leaders and pardon the Scouts. Then the Scouts essentially say "Hey Historia here just killed a Titan and has royal blood (trust us) so she's going to be the queen now. Please ignore the fact she is also a Scout and therefore could easily be a puppet queen for the military branch that was until very recently public enemy number one" and everyone just kinda accepts this. I don't know, it didn't do much to sell me on realism in a world that had done so up until that point.

Wow, the stakes are getting pretty high, I wonder if... WAIT, 80%?! That was kind of my reaction to the whole manga finale. I don't mind high stakes, but when we're talking about the horrific genocide of 80% of humanity at the hands of our main character, uh, that scale is a little hard to grasp. This also feeds into The Problems, which I'll get into later, but all in all, I think after a certain point the story just got too big for me to stay believably invested in what was actually happening.

Endgame plot thread irrelevance (especially for the female characters). Why did Historia get a whole story arc just to be sidelined and pregnant for the whole rest of the story? What happened to Yelena? What happened to Mikasa's relationship with the Azumabito clan? What's the deal with Ymir? So many things were rushed at the end that it was disappointing to see so much setup for very little payoff. Unfortunately, the female characters seemed to get the brunt of this.

The Problems

Okay, so this section is basically why I made this post to begin with. I want to address all of the criticisms I've seen for Attack on Titan and give my honest opinion on them because, yes, I do think it's more complex than I've seen people give it credit for, but neither is it free of harmful interpretations either.

On the topic of being Pro-Imperialist, Pro-Nazi, Pro-Facsist, and Pro-Propaganda: Attack on Titan is positioned against all these things. Just because a media depicts something doesn't mean it's condoning or endorsing it. Imperialism, fascism, and propaganda are all present in the story but are very often forces that the main characters must fight against. It might not go as far as to say "military bad" but it definitely says "war bad, genocide bad, euthanasia bad, blind devotion to one's country bad" and a whole host of other issues that it does not depict in a favorable light. Now, the viewpoints of the mangaka might be in question, and I can't say much about the way he supposedly views Imperialist Japan. I'm just saying, in the context of the show, I don't see an unquestioning approval of imperialism being portrayed here.

On the topic of Sexism: eh, maybe. It feels weird to be so nonchalant about that but to be honest, it's not prevalent enough to stand out compared to other shonen. Female characters might not always see fully fleshed-out arcs, but neither are they handled in a way I would deem sexist other than the very strange exception of Mikasa's one-sided obsession with Eren somehow mirroring the "love" a child bride sex slave had for her abuser 2000 years ago. That said, strong characters like Annie, Ymir (of the Cadets), and Gabi manage to have fairly compelling motivations and growth while also being love interests. There's really no fan service to speak of, and some of them even get to be gay. So, you know, I'll take it.

On the topic of Anti-Semitism (Disclaimer: I am not Jewish): yeahhhhhhh... so, up until the end of Season 3, I was confused about this claim. I mean, there were Titans, mindless man-eating monsters that could resemble the blood libel spread about Jewish people, but I thought it was a bit of a stretch. Besides, while the walled city is evidently based on 19th-century Germany, there isn't really a divide between the people who live there and the people who can turn into Titans; given the right conditions, any human character in the show could potentially turn into a Titan, so I didn't see the problem. If anything, I thought it was just a modified take on the zombie apocalypse genre.

Then the basement reveal happened, where it's revealed the walled city we had been following the last 3 seasons wasn't actually the last bastion of humanity as both the audience and the cast once believed; it is actually an island where distinct people called Eldians fled to escape the persecution they faced for their unique ability to turn into Titans. Turns out the rest of the world is populated by many diverse cultures who all hate the Eldians for their ancient Titan-enabled crimes against humanity. The Eldians who aren't trapped on the island of Paradis live in the gated ghettos of the Nazi-Germany-coded nation of Marley and are forced to wear star-embroidered armbands to denote their subhuman status.

Okay. Yikes, I thought. But I still gave it a chance, because as I mentioned before, just because something is depicted in media doesn't mean it's being supported or condoned. I was hoping that, at some point, the claim that Eldians committed atrocities with the Titans or the claim that only Eldians can turn into Titans would be proven wrong. Neither of these hopes came to fruition. It's revealed that Eldians did a lot of good with their Titan powers, true, but they also waged endless warfare in the name of a King that enslaved them. So, while they weren't really to blame, they certainly did commit the crimes that earned the world's ire.

This is a problem. If the imagery of the armbands and the WW2 ghettos were never involved, perhaps I could give the story the benefit of the doubt and see the Eldians as a fictional race created for the purpose of illustrating the cycle of violence and the need to relate to each other as humans first. But the problem is, they are very explicitly compared to Jewish people, thus insinuating, whether intentionally or not, that Jewish people do have these monstrous qualities and did commit crimes that earned them the oppression they continue to face when in reality, they did nothing to deserve it.

As an additional "yikes," there's also the questionable existence of the Tyber family, the only Eldian family in Marley allowed to have wealth and political influence. It's revealed that the Tybers have essentially been pulling Marley's strings the whole time, which... wow, really doesn't do much for anti-Semitic conspiracy theories that Jewish people are actually in control of everything, huh. Thankfully, the Tyber storyline is short-lived, but then there's the Yeagerists, a fascist Eldian party that wants to counter-genocide the entire world before it can genocide Eldians. Triple yikes. Let's throw in Zeke's plan for forced sterilization against his own people for a solid quadruple yikes.

However, there are also important distinctions to make between Eldians and Jewish people that are in the story's favor. While the Eldian people of Marley are mistreated and considered subhuman, Marley still puts in the effort to brainwash them into thinking they are the "good" Eldians in order to earn their unconditional loyalty and turn them into frontline soldiers in their war to conquer other nations and the island of Paradis, something that doesn't really mirror Nazi Germany and gives us a reason to sympathize with the Eldians who were once the "bad guys" of Season 1-3. There's also the fact that 95% of the show's main cast IS Eldian, and up until the basement reveal we've only known them as human. Everything until that point has essentially served to make us identify with Eldians more than anyone else. While the rest of the world may dehumanize them, we the audience react negatively to any mention of them being less than human because we've only ever seen them fight to survive in a world where they thought they were humanity's last hope. We want to see them make it out of this alive.

And here's where my internal conflict with the show lies; it would be so much better if it cut out the WW2 imagery. Sure, there would still be plenty of subtext that could lead people to compare Eldians to Jewish people, but it wouldn't be so distractingly obvious and spur additional real-world comparisons where there aren't any. The sudden jump to 20th-century Germany is also somewhat jarring and I wouldn't have minded if Marley was based more on just another nation of the same era rather than a 100-year jump forward of the same setting (though it does make in-universe sense, what with Paradis being 100 years behind technologically but I digress). Basically, I think a LOT of the story's problems with probably-unintentional-but-still-present anti-semitism could have been avoided if the war and race allegories weren't given the same tact and grace as a David Cage game.

But now that brings me to what I think is Attack on Titan's fatal flaw: thematic ambiguity. "But Anna," you may say, "you said the freedom of interpretation is what you loved about its themes." You're right, I did say that. I still do. But ambiguity is a double-edged sword: it gives the audience freedom to derive unique meaning from the text and connect with it in deep, personal ways, but on the other hand, if a theme is too ambiguous, the author runs the risk of either telling a meaningless story or telling a story that conveys an unintended meaning. I think an author must have SOME intention with a theme if it is to be included, and must provide some sort of guide (usually with a character or two) to point the audience in the right direction. I'll give an example of what I mean for both instances in Attack on Titan.

For an example of a well-executed ambiguous theme, I'll turn to the question "Is humanity worthy of saving if saving it demands the loss of one's own humanity?" that I listed under the "cycle of violence" umbrella. Specifically, this question is raised after the Battle of Stonhess, where Erwin allows a Titan battle to rage in the middle of a populated area for the slim chance he could capture Annie alive and extract information from her. This decision cost hundreds of innocent lives, and worse of all, Annie was of little use to him. Erwin stands behind his decision for the greater good and Armin rationalizes the battle as a net gain, but Jean presents Armin with a counterargument: "If it's that easy to let the fight turn us all into monsters, maybe we don't deserve to win." Still, we aren't given an outright answer to who's right and who's wrong here. Instead, the guide we are given is in the way ideologically-opposed characters like Erwin and Jean are treated by the story: Jean maintains his humanity, minimizes civilian casualties whenever possible, and in the end, is left with few regrets. Erwin, on the other hand, feels the weight of all the lives he callously sacrificed in the name of a "greater good," which we learn was perhaps more selfish than he let on. Upon resigning himself to death, he laments all the innocents who died at his command. It is through these characters that we learn who, ultimately, was in the right, and what that theme is trying to tell us (also coincidentally applying to the theme "live a life you can be proud of.")

For an example of a poorly-executed ambiguous theme, I'll turn to the question "Is it necessary to perpetuate the cycle of violence in order to survive in a world that forces violence?" that I also listed under the "cycle of violence" umbrella. This question is perhaps no more apparent than when the main characters are faced with the terrific power of the Rumbling, basically a Titan-powered WMD Eren uses to preemptively wipe out humanity before it can inevitably attack Paradis. While many characters deliberate the ethics of this, there are two characters who have starkly different viewpoints: we have Floch, a Yeagerist who is in full-hearted support of the attack and is uninterested in saving human lives if they are not Paradis Eldians, and we have Hange, who despite being a Paradis Eldian beats an impassioned fist against a table and delivers the rather on-the-nose line "Genocide is wrong!"

So who's right? Well, anyone with any sort of media literary sense will say "Hange, obviously." Because Hange is portrayed as a good person (usually) and Floch is portrayed as a villain (usually). The problem is both these characters fight valiantly in the name of their cause and incidentally die in the same scene while imparting their wishes to the heroes for how they want the world to be. Anyone watching who harbors even a fraction of Floch's nationalism might see that and say, "Floch was in the right. He righteously died for his country and he almost won against an impossible enemy." There's also the problem that Hange does not give an alternative answer to the Rumbling and even admits they don't have one, they just know the Rumbling is wrong, which doesn't do anything to add to the theme in question. Unfortunately, the Rumbling is presented as the only reliable line of self-defense for Paradis, as it's already established that diplomacy has almost no chance of working and that the only other plan is, of all things, sterilizing the Eldian people to appease the world that wants them dead with as little bloodshed as possible. What would have been the only other recourse, the order of a partial Rumbling to wipe out the world's military bases, is immediately taken off the table when it's revealed Eren never had any intention of doing that. Therefore, the story doesn't give us any answer to this question at all, since the characters never get to find an alternate solution for themselves and are forced to simply stop the Rumbling before it can kill too many people despite the risk of dying in the process or play along with Eren's predetermined plan. For a story so bent on saying "genocide is wrong" it does a weirdly good job of presenting it as a survival tactic.

Now, I wouldn't normally have that much of a problem if a story fumbled a theme or two. Not everything has to land perfectly. That said, Attack on Titan NEEDED to deliver these themes clearer than it did, because of one major reason: it was dealing with questions involving fascism, genocide, war, and eugenics. You should not casually raise these issues as a backdrop to a theme that can't be delivered on, because then you run the risk of attracting people who very much are pro-fascist, pro-genocide, pro-war, and pro-eugenics and will blatantly misinterpret everything in the text in order to warp it and fit their worldview (a risk I think FMA managed to avoid by being very blunt with where it stood on those same issues). On the flip side, you'll also repel people who otherwise might have loved the story because at some point they heard someone say "Oh yeah Attack on Titan is awesome, the Yeagerists are cool and I agree with the main character's plan for genocide," and rightfully be put off from that. Then they'll turn around and tell the next person, "Hey, don't watch that, I heard it's pro-fascist and pro-genocide," and that person will go "Oh thanks I didn't know that, I'll stay away from it," and that person will be me for the last ten years.

The Characters

Eren and Mikasa: I'm lumping these two together because I already talked about them at length, but I will say, for being the two main characters on which the finale hinged, I think they were both too simplistic to fully deliver on any of the complex themes they represented. Hell, when listing all the themes each character embodied, I only listed Mikasa under one of them, which is not great for a deuteragonist. Not only that, but Mikasa didn't even really deliver on her one theme: she broke the Titan curse by "letting go of her enslaving love for Eren," but did she really? She kissed and then absconded with his decapitated head to give him a proper burial, then returned each year to his grave with Jean and her family (who remained faceless) to leave a flower behind for him. I get it, he was important to her as a childhood friend and that alone means she should try to remember him despite the monster he turned into, but the framing of this suggests she never really let go of him and was shackled to his memory even as she tried to move on.

Armin: The thing about Armin is that while I ultimately think he's the heart of the story and the main driving force for good (as evidenced by the fact he's the only character I listed under ALL the themes I mentioned earlier), he also reads more like a symbol than a character. That's fine, a character doesn't need to go through an arc to be good, but for me, personally, a character in this kind of setting needs some form of growth for me to form an attachment to them. I'm not just talking about how Armin steadily grows okay with murder because that still doesn't do much to change his rosy outlook on life. The most excited I ever got about Armin's development was when he manipulated Bertholdt into thinking Annie was being tortured because holy shit that's kinda dark for Armin and I thought maybe his strategic mindset was going to start getting the better of his morals, but then that's never really touched on again. It's because I was never quite sure what the rhyme or reason was behind his actions that I found myself disconnected from him as a character, despite being inspired by him as a symbol.

Jean: My favorite character and a sorely underrated one at that. Won't say anything more about him here because I'm dedicating it to the Conclusion.

Levi: Second favorite character. Back when Attack on Titan's popularity was at its peak, I would see Levi on my dash all the time and I would roll my eyes thinking he was just another brooding anime bad boy the girls were fawning over. But I get it now. Yeah, he can brood, and yeah, he can be a bad boy as an ex-criminal who is no stranger to violence, but most of all he's compassionate. He cares deeply about the lives of his comrades and almost never values the "greater good" when decisions are left up to him. Granted, I think he becomes a little one-note after the Erwin vs Armin choice when he resolves that his only motivation from now on will be killing Zeke, but you know, after everything Zeke put him through, I think he earned it.

Hange: Third favorite character. They injected much-needed energy and sincerity into the story right from the start, and they only became more complex as the story went on and circumstances forced more and more responsibility onto them. I'm also glad that, while they are a good and moral character, they also don't mull over hard decisions that a veteran soldier probably wouldn't mull over. If worse comes to worst, they know they may have to resort to torture or violence to protect their comrades and the pursuit of truth. Still, they almost never push this any further than necessary, unlike Erwin before them.

Reiner: Fourth favorite character. I had basically no opinion on Reiner until Season 2 when he pushed Connie out of the way of a Titan's mouth and I thought "he's kinda cool." And then so so so much happens after that. I almost never knew how to feel about him. Is he the bad guy? He's killed so many people, he has to be. But then, why do I still like him? Why do I feel so bad for him? Season 4 only added to those mixed feelings, showing him to be suicidal and suffering from PTSD after all the violence he inflicted when he was just a child soldier. I think most of the themes about "people are people" is best illustrated in Reiner, and how he is able to overcome the pain of life through his dedication to the next generation and to the former friends he had hurt in the past.

Ymir (of the Cadets): Fifth favorite character. Like Reiner, I didn't really have any opinion on her until Season 2. While her contribution to the story is brief, it did a whole lot. Her backstory is technically our first introduction to a world outside the walls which also introduced a whole new mystery. Also, her love for Historia was probably the most genuine example of romantic love I can point to in the entire story, and the most emotionally touching one at that. She's also the one who introduces the theme "live a life you can be proud of" verbatim, which proves to be important for everyone.

Sasha and Connie: Truth is, I don't really have any favorites after Ymir, and how I feel about everyone else is some variation on neutral (except Floch). As for Sasha and Connie, I'm throwing them in the same bucket of "likable-enough comic-relief characters that have some semblance of a character arc but not nearly enough to justify their screentime." People might hate me for this, but I actually think Sasha contributed more to the narrative when she was dead than she did when she was alive. That doesn't mean I wasn't sad when she died, though.

Erwin: People might hate me for this too, but I think Erwin is overrated. I think many dudebro fans see him as the peak representation of heroic masculinity, as an unflinching and at times ruthless commander who takes charge and shows no weakness. That is not true. It's revealed Erwin does have a weakness, a selfish drive to redeem his father's suspicions about the outside world, a drive that makes him fear his own premature death, in the end. True, that drive has paved the way for the Scouts to clear impossible hurdles but also has it led to many senseless and brutal deaths that the story does not intend to justify. Erwin is flawed, incredibly so, and I wish more people could see that.

Historia: I had no opinion of her in Seasons 1-2, even during the love story she had with Ymir. It wasn't until the Uprising arc that she grew on me, as she started to mature beyond her "Disney princess" persona that had previously seemed so out of place in a story like this. That said, after she got pregnant in Season 4, I was disappointed to see that there wasn't much of a point to her character anymore despite being the literal queen.

Annie: I wanted to like Annie. I wanted so badly to like Annie. That's really only for aesthetic reasons because when the show was at its peak I saw her on my dash and fell in love with her as a fellow short blonde girl with a big nose and a name that starts with Ann. After getting to know her character... well, I don't dislike her. I think she served her role in the story well enough. She's just fairly simple once you learn her motivation, and she's hard to get attached to if you don't like emotionally-constipated characters.

Bertholdt: Oh, Berry. Unfortunately, every feeling I could have had for him I already felt 5x more for Reiner, so Berry became rather redundant. Also, his constant stare unnerved me. I did feel bad when he died though. RIP Berry.

Marlow: He didn't have a huge part in the story, but I think he was significant if only for one moment: the second before his death when he thinks of Hitch. Here we are given an everyman who wanted to rise to his calling and dedicate himself to the greater good, who was so driven by ideals and politics that he bravely gave his life for the cause he believed was right, but just before he meets his end, it's revealed to him that what he really wanted was a life with the girl he only just realized he loved. I think that one moment tragically encapsulated the main message of the story; we are here simply to enjoy life and enjoy each other.

Gabi: Again, people might hate me for this, but I liked Gabi. I think she did a good job of being a mirror of what Eren could have been had he been born in Marley, and/or if he had learned to sympathize enough with the enemy to have given up on his revenge plan. She went through a lot of horrors to get the growth she did, and I don't really understand the vitriol some fans have for her, even considering the fact she killed Sasha since killing Sasha and then learning that doing that was a bad thing through the kindness of Sasha's family was kind of the point. Also, as if Eren wouldn't have done the same thing in her shoes. She's a brainwashed child soldier, come on.

Falco: It was a breath of fresh air to have, like, one genuinely nice good kid for once. He's a necessary addition to Gabi's arc I think, since he's the one that keeps her grounded and helps her realize that the Paradis Eldians are not evil. His Jaw/Beast Titan powers are OP though.

Zeke: Hated him throughout all of Season 3 besides only knowing him as the Beast Titan. Season 4 rolled around and I did start to sympathize with him given his upbringing and the way his brother Eren used him after thinking he finally had a family he could be close with. I still didn't feel all that bad when bad things happened to him though, given the things he's willing to do to impose a sterilization "solution" to his own people.

Pieck: Getting into "they're fine but don't add much to the story" territory here. She's smart and has a sleepy-girl charm about her, I guess. She also has that one cool moment where she points to Eren as the enemy, but as far as her relationship with the main characters goes, she basically has none, which makes it hard for me to get invested in her.

Onyankopon, Yelena, Magath, and Kiyomi: Lumping all these characters together as the notable non-Eldians with their own agendas. I had no strong opinion on any of them. Onyankopon was cool, but I thought Magath changed his stance on Paradis too easily in the end, and Yelena and Kiyomi barely contributed anything that couldn't have been done by some other character. Their true purpose was really just to establish that there were different cultures outside of Paradis.

Floch: Saved the best for last. And by best, I mean worst. He's the anti-Jean, if you will; the everyman who, when faced with dire circumstances, turns to brutality and strength rather than humanity and compassion. It's fitting, I think, that he's the one who not only advocates saving Erwin, Jean's ideological opposite ("We need a devil!") but he's also the one who tempts Jean into a character regression since he's a representation of what Jean could have become if he stayed what he was like early Season 1. Other than that, he's a cupcake-head fascist whose dumb face I got tired of looking at even before he become a fascist. I just fucking hate Floch, man.

Every other character I either don't have anything much to say about, like Grisha, Shaddis, Pixis, Rod Reiss, and Hitch, or they died too early for me to say much about, like Porco, Petra, and Marco (although I did love Marco and I was incredibly sad when he died).

Conclusion (and why Jean is the best character you can't change my mind)

So, to take my thesis-length thoughts and distill them into one coherent sentence, my overall feeling on Attack on Titan is this: it's a well-paced, well-constructed story that is consistently engaging and thought-provoking about real-world issues, but is ultimately held back by its final act where the scale and allegory become too big and clunky for the story to properly handle. Many things that were so well set up in the previous three seasons sadly unravel at the finish line. That said, that doesn't mean there is no meaningful or worthwhile conclusion to be had in Attack on Titan; I think it still had a stronger finish than, say, HBO's Game of Thrones. I connected with it in a deep way that I haven't connected to any other piece of media lately besides maybe when I played Dragon Age last year, another story that raised thought-provoking themes about real-world issues but with admittedly clunky allegory. Most notably, though, I think my enjoyment of Attack on Titan was highly dependent on one character in particular, a character who acted as a reliable anchor point to come back to whenever the bigger ideas got away from the story.

Here's where Jean comes in. While Eren, Mikasa, and Armin are essentially mouthpieces and figureheads for the much-too-big themes they represent and are somewhat washed out as characters because of it, Jean delivers on all his themes perfectly while maintaining his believability as a character. In this world, he is basically just some guy; despite being talented, he's not as driven as Eren, he's not as strong as Mikasa, and he's not as idealistic as Armin. Jean himself recognizes all these things, but he also recognizes how their strengths also come with weaknesses that he can make up for. He sees Eren as cool but also suicidally reckless, he sees Mikasa as capable but also overly-dependent, he sees Armin as brilliant but also in need of a backbone. He then steps up to fill those deficiencies; to answer Eren's recklessness, he does everything he can to preserve his own life so that he can continue to serve others; to answer Mikasa's dependency on Eren, he makes his own decisions and creates strategies to get everyone out of trouble, not just Eren; to answer Armin's cowardice, he steps up and relays Armin's genius plans but with a stronger sense of leadership and authority.

But he wasn't always like this, and that's the most important part; Jean started as a selfish, cowardly, and entitled asshole. Floch says this outright. The only thing early Season 1 Jean cared about was securing his place in the top 10 and choosing a position among the Miltary Police where he could live the rest of his life in peace and luxury, the rest of the cadets be damned. I think this is a pitfall a lot of people in the real world can fall into: in a highly competitive and individualistic society, people have little incentive not to step on others in order to achieve a better life for themselves, and this is the very pitfall Jean nearly falls into. It's a relatable flaw, as little as people might want to admit it.

Yet, among all of Jean's negative pre-Trost qualities, he has two that can be seen as positive: his keen perception and his blunt honesty. Marco tells him as much. After the first battle in Trost, Jean, despite his reluctance to take up responsibility, sees opportunities to get his fellow cadets to safety and uses his insight into their strengths and weaknesses to guide as many of them as he can since he's the only one at the time who can take up leadership. Afterward, Marco tells him he makes a good leader not because he's strong, but because he knows what it means to be weak. He is able to lead because he doesn't delude himself with false hopes or illusions of grandeur; he knows exactly what is at stake and what hurdles everyone needs to overcome in order to have a chance at both winning and surviving. Jean is humbled and inspired by this, realizing that he would better serve in a field where he could potentially save lives instead of wasting his talents in the Military Police where he would have nothing to apply himself for.

But his real call to action is Marco's death. After losing his one true friend, Jean resolves to give up his dream of the Military Police and dedicate himself to the Scouts, where he can live up to the potential Marco always saw in him. If we are to take the theme of "true freedom is the ability to give up a long-held dream" to heart, then Jean is actually one of the first characters to achieve true freedom in this story. That doesn't mean it was easy. Freedom comes with the burden of responsibility, and his decision to join the Scouts isn't framed as triumphant or inspiring but instead as terrifying and traumatic. But that's another aspect of real life I think is captured by Jean's character: the decision to become a better person is not always easy, and it often requires a continual and conscious effort to push comfort zones, overcome bad habits, and step into the terrifying unknown, but you still have to do it.

While Jean does change for the better because of this decision (a change even his fellow cadets take notice of), his battle to grow as a person is never over. When faced with life-or-death situations as a Scout, he overcomes his cowardice to leap into action and save others whenever he knows he can. When faced with the selfishness of the Military Police, he is reassured by the knowledge that his decision not to join them saved him from that ignorant mindset. When faced with the consequences of "the greater good," he questions what it means for humanity if serving a grand purpose means they should turn a blind eye to the innocent. When faced with the prospect of having to kill other humans, he grapples with the morality of murder and what it means if he can't pull the trigger to save his friends. When faced with the crowning of Historia, he voices his concern against authority that they're forcing her into another role after she had just fought to reclaim her own identity from her father. When faced with the temptation to regress, ignore genocide, and settle for the easy life he always wanted in his youth, he resists the urge to fall back onto his dream and continues fighting even when it's the hardest thing he could ever do. When faced with the revelation that Reiner killed his friend Marco, he briefly gives into his resentment and anger but later works past it and admits there are more similarities between them than there are differences. When faced with no other choice but to stop the Rumbling, he's the first to bring Mikasa to the painful but necessary realization that they must kill their friend Eren in order to save countless innocent lives, as much as he doesn't want to do that.

Over and over again, Jean is presented with a moral dilemma, and over and over again, Jean chooses to come out of it as a better person despite it all. Because he achieved the freedom to choose who he wants to be so early in the story, the rest of his arc is a revelation that such freedom comes with constant and painful doubt. Yet, Jean never shies away from exploring the moral ambiguity of his world and the actions it makes him take. Because he is perceptive and honest, he's quick to question everything that is presented to him and never takes any one person's perspective as the only undeniable truth. Questioning life at every turn isn't easy either; it takes effort and courage and vigilance, and even when that way of life wears away at Jean, he does it anyway. If he doesn't, he'll end up just like the pitiful and ignorant Military Police he could have easily become. To me, that arc is so much more relatable than any other arc presented in this story. This is the very real struggle of a regular guy navigating a complicated world of war, eugenics, nationalism, and genocide, and is just trying to make it out as a decent person in the middle of it all. Really, isn't that all any of us are?

I think it's also telling that Floch tempts Jean to join the Yeagerists not with the argument that Eren and his plan for genocide is right, because deep down I think he knows Jean would have never agreed with that. Instead, he tempts him with the promise of comfort and a life free of resistance. I think that's the most revealing truth of all: Jean, the representation of humanity and its struggle with its own morality would never have gone along with genocide just for the sake of it. I think most people are too decent to think genocide is in any way justified when it's framed that way. Instead, Jean is only tempted by how the decision to join the Yeagerists and turn a blind eye would affect him and his own life, reframing the problem as a self-preserving one and retroactively justifying the Rumbling not as what is right but as what is futile for any one person to try to stop. That, I think, reflects the true struggle of humanity, the struggle to sacrifice your own self-interest whenever it conflicts with the need to help others.

While other characters like Mikasa, Eren, and Armin are more or less the same character at the end of the story as they are in the beginning, Jean is in a perpetual state of change, which means he also acts as a terrific mirror and foil for so many characters throughout the story depending on what stage of character development he's in. He starts as a foil to Eren, someone who harbors just as much hot-headed ego as Jean, but unlike Jean has all the conviction to back it up. As Jean grows, he continues to foil Eren by proving conviction can not only be gained but can be reigned in and redirected to be used as a force to do good instead of a force for destructive revenge. He then mirrors Armin, a character who is just as thoughtful and questioning as Jean but isn't as weighed down by selfish desires, but neither does that give much weight to Armin's moral dilemmas when he chooses to do the less moral thing than Jean does in his shoes. Jean and Armin eventually learn to work together, combining their respective strengths and weaknesses to become effective leaders in tandem. Interestingly, I learned that Armin and Jean were originally written to be the same character but were separated to reflect two different sides of humanity, perhaps to illustrate humanity's desire to reach outside the walls through Armin and humanity's struggle to resist the comfort of the walls through Jean. While I think that it was a good decision to separate them in the end, I also think that it robbed Armin of Jean's character development and robbed Jean of Armin's plot relevance. Then, of course, there's Jean's mirror for Floch, but I already touched on that in Floch's character summary so I won't retread it here.

But perhaps my favorite foil of Jean's is Reiner. More than Eren or Armin, Jean is inherently connected to Reiner through the death of Marco. While Reiner is positioned in Season 4 to also be a mirror for Eren, I think Reiner's similar loss of his friend Marcel (a friend who, unlike what Marco did for Jean, did the opposite of inspire Reiner by admitting that Reiner was never actually good enough for the role he got and only earned it by Marcel's intervention to protect his brother) positions Reiner as a more apt foil to Jean instead. Reiner is sent on a trajectory where he only clings harder to his dreams of becoming a hero for Marley, winning the affection of his mother and father, and proving himself worthy of his role, never willing to let those dreams go in the face of Marcel's death unlike Jean had done after losing Marco. Because he clings to this dream so dearly, he kills many innocent people to achieve it, again displaying the polar opposite mindset of Jean who fights instead to save innocent lives. But Reiner isn't without a heart, and eventually, the weight of his sins burdens him. How does he deal with it? Not by questioning or confronting reality like Jean does, but by compartmentalizing himself and rationalizing his actions through the use of multiple personas, essentially denying responsibility for his sins and avoiding the painful self-reflection he must undergo to accept accountability for what he's done.

Reiner is only able to truly self-reflect when he returns to Marley, where the reconciliation of who he is catches up with him and drives him to become suicidal, but neither is he deluded by the dream he once clung to anymore. Now that he's accepted responsibility, he joins up with Jean's group, admits he killed Marco, and accepts the brutal punishment Jean has for him. It's only after this moment that Jean makes the realization that they're the same because they are now. They've both undergone a change and while it took them in many different directions, in the end, they've come to the same point; despite their respective sins or lack thereof, they're both fighting to become better people than who they once were. And in the finale, it is Jean who reassures Reiner that he is and will always be a Scout because he's fighting to save humanity, just like they had sworn to do as youths. Jean never forgot what it was they were fighting for, and because of that, I think Jean earns his place as the true moral compass of the series.

Wow, this really got away from me; Do you love the color of the Attack on Titan thoughts post? Anyways, if you managed to read all of this, I'm flattered you stuck around to entertain all my ramblings on a series that is basically over after a decade-long run that I was too late to jump on. With all my thoughts out of the way, I'm going to go reblog some Jean posts now, because he's the best character and no, you can't change my mind.

[sillyfudgemonkeys]

Do you have any Avatar Kuruk headcanons?

Hmmmmm I have a few! (under the cut for length)

So Kuruk is known as a party animal, and while I think it has SOME truth, the over exaggeration of it isn't really him. He's kinda Bruce Wayne-ing it half the time. And while he was a bit of a romantic and a little flirty, he wasn't nearly as bad as his reputation later became. Like he wasn't a manwhore/rake or whatever you wanna call him (at least before the spirits). (after the spirits..... I'm tempted to believe that even if he did sleep around....I fear it might've been because he was preyed on like that one maid did, maybe not all the time but I don't think he was surrounded by a lot of good people ;w;).

UNFORTUNATELY, his old team and supposed close friends had their perception colored later in life and forgot his real personality. Remembering only the silver tongue flirt, and thus they thought Yun was the perfect ringer.

The only people who saw his real personality since fighting the spirits was probably Ummi and Nyahitha, and Kelsang (that one time). And ironically that had more similarities with Kyoshi than other's probably saw. (which is why Nyahitha gives her so much shit and clocked her in like five seconds kfjdksjfa)

Kuruk was TOTALLY and 100% working OVERTIME in Rise of Kyoshi. This guy was trying SO FREAKING HARD to get Kyoshi together with Rangi. TT0TT Like he was totes feeding her lines of his poem because of how Rangi looks, and legit forgot Kelsang knew the poem. Kyoshi even mentions how it looked like Rangi was outlined by a spirit during the Chameleon Bay chase, and that spirit HAS to be Kuruk. TT0TT My man is the best wingman, he was trying so hard for his OTP to be together TT0TT

Kuruk and Kyoshi def vibe in the afterlife. They founded the "I Miss My Wife" club. Only for the most miserable though, which is them. ("I get Kuruk but what about Kyoshi-" My headcanon for how Kyoshi's love life goes is not a pleasant one ;w; So yeah, club founders).

Kuruk was totes fine with Kyoshi killing Xu, he probs would've been up in her face like he was with Chaejin/Huazo incident if he wasn't at least a lil' chill about it. Maybe at worse disapproved, but it was probs something like "Eh, he's an ass, you gotta do what you gotta do. Not my move but who am I to judge?"

If the "you get the face of your loved one when reincarnated" is correct, then he is so happy and sad whenever he looks at Kyoshi. Kyoshi might've decided to present herself wearing make up in the afterlife because she saw how much it hurt him.

Because of that, for the time Kyoshi hated him, he was devastated. TT0TT

He's still Yangchen's biggest fanboy, but likes to tease her about spirits. All in good fun tho. He was always so happy to talk with her.......even when his life was falling apart. TT0TT

He likes to brag about having it easy and being sandwiched between two awesome Avatar lady eras. They usually do all the talking for him when ppl hit up the Avatar past selves line (I like to think Kyoshi and then Roku found a better way to deal with spirits, so Kuruk gets to just kick back and delegate to a different Avatar now. His best advice being "don't kill the spirits" now TT0TT). He deserves rest and this is the closest he's getting to it damnit!

HC that Roku is a fanboy of Kyoshi, Kuruk has a soft spot for the boy since he totally GETS IT.

Kuruk tried his best to keep Kyoshi alive when she was younger. Not much you can do as a spirit, but he was always by her side through her worst fevers. It hurt him seeing her like that, especially when his dying wish was to make sure his friends did right by her. TT0TT

He really likes Korra, little upset he didn't get spiritbending, but hey watchu gonna do? He totally took off his hat/coat when talking to her cause of her animal guide tho fkjsadkfja He's glad she brought back the airbenders (especially since it made Yangchen happy).

I'm fascinated by his past relationships with Hei-Ran and Ummi. I think the song "If We Never Met" by John K fits him and Ummi's relationship tbh (since a lot of the lyrics seem to fit what we know about them).

That's all I got right now. I wish we got more information, I hope he gets a novel soon. TT0TT

[vampires-bitrs]

I too believe that some of Rejet's games take place in the same universe! The events of Black Wolves Saga took place several centuries ago, when the Sakamaki were children, and everything that happens in Dance With Devils, Carnelian Blood and Diabolik Lovers is happening at about the same time. And yes, I'm sure Karl is the big bad in all of this histories 💀.

OMGGGG YESS! The cat people in Black Wolves Saga are never mentioned in any of the diaboys routes unlike races like the Vampires (obviously), Wolves, Vibora, and Alder. It was a little suspicious why there were so few races mentioned in Diabolik Lovers.

It's easy to assume that those four just stood the test of time, and that might be true. However, there was such a wide variety of races in the beginning of Black Wolves Saga, but most of them were either dead or dying, like the bunny boy, Zara Skeens. He's the last of his kind, and the only reason he isn't dead is that he was taken in by Foina's dad, Edgar Galland.

The same goes for the cat boys, Mejojo, Auger, and Julian. I would say the same for their parents as well, but most of them met an unfortunate fate, by the start of the story and now their whole race is slowly dying just like the humans the wolves were killing at the time. Yes you read that right there were humans living in the demon world more specifically Weblin a place for both humans and demi-humans, (creatures who have the power to shift between both human and animal forms.) before Arles made it his life misson to eradicate them.

I'm also assuming their lifespan is not nearly as long as vampires. But it wasn't just the rabbit race human race or the cat race that were dying some wolves were also catching a disease that was wiping out their race aswell (seriously, what's up with Rejet and having diseases decimate entire races?).

The disease was called Zodiva, a.k.a. "Mad Wolf Disease." Some known characters afflicted with this disease were Arles and Rath. However, it's puzzling why we don't see this disease affecting modern-day Diabolik Lovers wolves. My theory is that Karl released this disease to quell the rebellious wolf population; as the wiki states, "For many years, humans, cats, and wolves shared political power, but one day, the wolves revolted, plunging the country into chaos." and "Arles reportedly led a revolt against the monarchy 10 years before the story's beginning and was thus driven out along with the other wolves."

Karl has a history of afflicting people with diseases to defeat them (cough, cough, the founders).

While we're on the topic of founders, we can imply that the person who created Endzeit was Carnelian Brecht from the series Carnelian Blood @vampirerosemary explains it way better then I ever could so I would recommend you read these 3 post!

IT’S ALWAYS KARLHEINZ

🦇Carnelian Blood & Diabolik Lovers🦇

🦇DIABOLIK LOVERS IN THE SAME UNIVERSE AS CARNELIAN BLOOD?🦇

Regarding Carnelian Blood in Dance with Devils, it's 100% canon that vampires exist, and they are the main antagonists in the game, alongside the church. Both settings take place in Japan and involve magical beings, but it's a little confusing why vampires are mentioned in Dance with Devils while devils aren't mentioned in Diabolik Lovers. Kanato and Laito make references to Incubus (Kanato literally had the spirit of an Incubus possess Teddy and hold Yui down), and Urie is an Incubus. So, it's possible that devils are a small or lesser-known race in Diabolik Lovers.

It's also interesting that Nesta is canonically the father of Lindo, and the fact that Nesta and Karlheinz share a striking resemblance, from their hair to their clothing style, it's noteworthy to mention Karlheinz's affinity for cosplaying different people, like Reinhart, and having kids who all look different from each other suggests that he might have assumed various identities and appearances throughout history. This idea is even supported by the fact that Kanato mentioned that their father could change his appearance, becoming a man or a woman at any time, and even they don't know what he truly looks like.

You can argue that Lindo gets his hair colour and eye from his mom

But keep in mind, Karl has a track record of making red-haired kids.

Fun facts it is sorta kinda canon that lindo and ayato met. Just look at this cute little screenshot ( 〃▽〃) Source: @itsaboutyourstruly

In my own personal headcanon, vampires age every 50 years. So if what the wiki says is true, that Karl is about 2000 years old, that means he's in his 40s.

In conclusion, Karlheinz is having the world's worst mid-life crisis, and he's making it everyone's problem. 💀

[allw3doisadvert1se]

Do You Hear the Rapture?

Everest, Amanda, Swatch, and Spamton walked in silence down a street of the SIMULACRUM so warped by glitches and errors that practically nothing looked in place there. Rolling fields intersected by skyscrapers that gave way to dying flowers the size of city blocks decorated the horizon, where a hateful red sun slowly rose, bathing the group in harsh light. As they made their way around jutting slabs of concrete that rose tens of feet into the air, Everest couldn’t help but think they were heading in the right and yet somehow wrong direction simultaneously. Were these fractals made of the architecture a sign that they were getting close to the center of this cancerous blight, or did it signify that they had roamed far beyond its borders? Perhaps such questions would be a waste of thought right now. She needed time, time to think clearly, to consider what will happen when this all ends, to reflect on her time trapped here, and perhaps most pressing of all … what to do with Swatch.

Though the tall butler was being carried in the mostly trustworthy arms of Spamton in his NEO suit, his condition had worsened significantly, the collapsing wound on his side now causing his whole body to shift and pulsate every few seconds. Everest hadn’t known Swatch all too well before she had been brought here, but after the many, many cycles she had spent down here, she had grown to see why Queen had trusted him so dearly when he was alive. It didn’t seem fair to her that after so much preparation on his part to take back the city he cared for from the hands of The Founder he might not get the chance to even see it freed …

No. She couldn’t be thinking like that. Swatch was gonna make it. He had to. They just needed to find the Nail, and this whole nightmare would be over … at least until the inevitable next one if their track record was to be accounted for. But Everest didn’t even know what she was looking for. Xanrir hadn’t specified to Hazel what this thing actually was, and thus her instructions were equally vague. All she and the rest of the group were really hoping for was the possibility of …

stumbling into it …

As if on cue with her thoughts, the group rounded a corner and suddenly standing before them was a massive obelisk constructed of black stone that, unlike the rough and jagged features of the rest of the SIMULACRUM, was unnaturally smooth. Near the peak, Everest could spot a suspended balcony that seemed to spiral up along the outside to the summit. She turned to Spamton.

“Could you fly while carrying one of us?”

“OF [[h o r s e]] 1 CAAN. yOU HEARD H3R, [[Free-Range Poultry]], WE’R E GOING UP!!1!!”

Swatch shifted uncomfortably in the puppet’s arms. “Just don’t you dare drop me …”

“HMMmMMM[[M&M]]MM … I’LL [[Consider the following …]]!”

Without another word, Spamton spread his massive wings and in a very janky fashion lifted Swatch up, up, and up towards the balcony far above. At a certain point, Everest couldn’t make out the details, only seeing the neon metal plates of the NEO suit against the blood red sky. Amanda nervously patted Rodney in her arms, the tiny Tasque letting out a slightly laggy purr in response, before looking to Everest.

“Do you think that was his attempt at a joke?”

“Perhaps. He’s been trying a lot of things recently. Getting on my laptop and posting something, for one.”

Amanda giggled. “Hehe. By the blade, you were so mad at him.”

“Can you blame me? I’m surprised the damn thing didn’t get malware installed just from him touching it.”

“Random question, but are you gonna let him keep the NEO suit when we get back to our world?”

“Hhhhh … Probably not. In here it helps to have a bit of a powerhouse. But … back in the city? I don’t know, that feels more like it behooves us.”

“But has he not earned it? How many times has he saved our lives just from having that thing on?”

Everest bit the inside of her cheek in contemplation before sighing. “… Amanda, do we really need to talk about this right now?”

“I mean … not really. W-We should stay focused, I’m sorry.”

There was awkward silence between the two until Spamton returned, having dropped Swatch off on the balcony. Amanda got flown up next, much to the dismay of Rodney, who Everest could hear yowling from the ground level. Finally, it was her turn. Getting carried up that high into the air with such inconsistent movements was rather terrifying, but the puppet’s confident look towards the skies helped keep her morale high enough. When her feet impacted the ground of the balcony, she let out a sigh of relief. Spamton landed soon afterward, scooping Swatch off the ground from the wall he had leaned him up against. Swatch let out an uncomfortable squawk as he pulsed with the beat of the collapsing wound more, more unstable this time.

Everest looked onward to the stairs leading up and around, and after just a bit more walking, they finally reached the epicenter from which this virulent realm spread. In the center of the roof was a raised dias which held a small effigy formed of flesh and metal alike. Its surface shifted with the same screaming faces that could be seen on A.B.Y.S.S’s body, implying a connection between the two. Everest knew now without a shadow of a doubt that this is what they had been looking for. This was the Nail …

Without another moment’s hesitation, she sprinted for the dias, her footsteps tapping along the surface of the roof in echoes as the group followed a second afterward. She was so close, within 50 feet of it, she could get out of here at last and live the life she was supposed to, before A.B.Y.S.S, before The Founder, before the Queen ever even died … she could finally live for herself.

But of course, it couldn’t be quite so easy. With the sound of static feedback, the profane god of the SIMULACRUM appeared right in front of Everest, its clawed hand outstretched. She couldn’t stop her momentum fast enough before A.B.Y.S.S wrapped its hand around her throat and threw her backwards, causing her to yell in pain as she hit the ground. Amanda ran up to her, placing Rodney on the ground before gently helping Everest to her feet. Spamton had his arm cannon raised and pointed at A.B.Y.S.S, arcane energy glowing at the barrel, and Swatch … Swatch was quietly murmuring something, inaudible to even the puppet that held him.

The bleeding machine’s twisted smile grew wider, the flesh merged to its head tearing just a bit more as he did so. With a moment of pause, it began to speak. “Well done, participants! It seems that your little search has gotten you right where you aimed to be. You’ve reached the catalyst of my control over your precious little world.” A.B.Y.S.S chuckled darkly, the leathery wings on his back folding close to himself. “I would say you’ve sacrificed much to get here, but we both know that isn’t true.”

Everest spoke out in a voice that shook with simultaneously anger and fear. “We left Marcus to die! Is that not enough for you!? Must you take any more?!?”

“Come now. I’m not a fool. I am this world’s eyes and ears after all, I heard your little conversation with Amanda that leaving him to be deleted was for the better.” One of the extra arms that curled over its shoulder pointed at Amanda, causing her to have to gulp down her fear. “He is not of concern for you, and thus his unwilling sacrifice is not enough. But … I will offer you a plead bargain.”

A.B.Y.S.S snapped its fingers as it lifted Swatch and Amanda up with some form of telekinesis. Amanda yelped in panic as the entity pulled her close before stabbing one of its claws into her shoulder, immediately infecting her with a collapsing wound, now just as bad as Swatch’s. As Amanda fell silent, Everest let out a furious shout of rage. “NO! DON’T YOU TOUCH HER!! GIVE THEM BACK!”

A.B.Y.S.S turned to her and laughed raising both in the air higher. “Everest K. Addison … it is time for you to make a choice. Who lives … and who dies? This is the price you must pay for meddling behind my back, turning my own sibling against me, and sending me back to square one.”

Spamton fired a beam of energy at A.B.Y.S.S, which the entity took to the face to little effect. The puppet shouted, “HE-H-HEY!! [[Hands off the merchandise!]]! GIVe SW4<TCH [[Backspace]]!!!”

“It is not your choice to make, puppet. And unless you want to be going home two friends short, I suggest you do not attempt to harm me again.” A.B.Y.S.S was clearly reveling in the choice paralysis he had inflicted upon Everest, especially now with Spamton staring at her, trying to persuade her to save Swatch.

Everest opened her mouth to say something, when she noticed something … very subtle. Swatch’s eyes, though he was hanging mostly limp in the air, were flashing with light. Blinking on and off. On and off. She had a brief recall to when she had written a message in Morse code all that time ago, and suddenly the blinking made sense to her. Swatch was transmitting a short message, two words long:

SAVE

HER

Everest looked down, sorrow welling up in her chest as she took a deep, shaky breath. “I choose … Amanda … to be saved.” As soon as the words left her mouth, she fell to her knees, tears forming in her eyes. Spamton stood still for several moments, glitching, his glasses crackling with static. His emotions were not very clear, but whatever A.B.Y.S.S sensed in there … it was enough.

The entity cackled, lowering Amanda to the ground slowly before centering Swatch above itself. “As you wish. Swatch will never see his world free again.” A beam of piercing red light struck down over A.B.Y.S.S and Swatch, causing the collapsing wound on Swatch to instantly flare up. The corvid butler let out a pained scream as the wound ruptured.

Layer by layer, Swatch was slowly dissolved into nothing, a pile of scrap and organic material no longer recognizable as himself. It started with his feathers, and almost plastic skin, revealing a deep layer of lead-lined metallic plating, supposedly a measure he used to avoid detection by the CIFT throughout the years he was in hiding. Below that lay a complex layout of pipes, gears and wiring that flailed as the connections between them were snapped over and over. When it hit the last few organs Swatch still had that were organic, it left little but a sickly puddle of blood and bile.

Throughout the whole process, Everest could not bear to look at Swatch through his screams and death rattles. Spamton, however just stared onwards, absorbing every detail. But … finally, after wretchedly too long, it was over, and A.B.Y.S.S gave a mocking little bow before fading from sight.

Everest crawled over to Amanda, lifting her up and supporting her. The entity had kept its promise, to her luck, as the newly opened wound began to shrivel back into healthy flesh on the Lightner’s body. Amanda let out a few shaky breaths, seemingly not having been fully conscious for Swatch’s execution. Everest breathed quietly, “We’re getting out of here. Now.”

She let go of Amanda, seeing as she could steady herself now, and sprinted the remaining distance to the dias that held the Nail, this twisted little effigy. Everest grabbed it off the pedestal before throwing it onto the ground and stomping it as hard as she possible could. With a twist of her foot, the effigy let out a satisfying crunch and was destroyed.

Over the course of the next few moments, a blinding white light would flash in the far distance, slowly spreading to where the tower the group was standing on was. Before the light could consume them, Everest, Amanda and Rodney, and Spamton all disappeared. They awoke to find themselves trapped in three different pods of flesh, the pestilent black tumors A.B.Y.S.S had used to integrate them in the first place, now shriveling up. They ripped the weakened flesh away from themselves and crawled out, Amanda and Everest coughing as they crawled away. Spamton simply rose from his pod, gazed around for a moment, and then immediately flew off to somewhere in the city.

The dark fountain that gave life to the CIFT home world was no longer shining red, its corruption purged at last. Perhaps … things could start to recover now, if given the right care.

… But there was one who now was stuck wandering in the dark.

Marcus Baal trudged through the endless shadows of the Greater Void, his binary code for a body flickering unstably. It seemed that with the deletion of the SIMULACRUM, Marcus too got deleted with it. It was clear to the entities that surrounded him on all sides that he would not make it to the Market in time to be saved. But … what he would become interested all of them deeply.

[[System Reboot Successful]]

[[Running Diagnostic Scan for Reparation Protocols]]

[[Thank You, and Have a Regular Day!]]

[badass-queer-couples-battle]

Gay wrongs tournament, round 2 of the losers bracket

Propaganda:

For Vegas and Pete:

Evil babygirl & stealthily evil babyboy. Vegas, known committer of atrocities, and Pete, who didn't rise up the ranks of being a mafia bodyguard for nothing. Never forget how Pete brutally shot and killed his coworker who dared to shoot Vegas in front of him.

I mean. They both kill people all the time. They even have evil gay BDSM sex. It's all right there.

it's plainly obvious to anyone even looking in their direction how murder husbands they are. both have canonically killed multiple people, often on screen. Not to mention the onscreen scene of Vegas literally torturing someone. 

For Wen Kexing and Zhou Zishu:

you've got the founder of the fantasy ancient Chinese CIA and the leader of what is essentially the mafia and then they're soulmates and in love. they're both willing to kill anyone who dares hurt the other while also just wanting a soft domestic life together

Zhou Zishu is an assassin and spymaster who put the current Emperor on the throne, and then quit his job by faking his death (kinda, hes still dying but not as fast as he was supposed to). Had done A Lot on his old job, including murdering children (more than one, and at least one of them in a way I can't even describe without several trigger warnings), exterminating whole families, war crimes (and i dont mean this in a buzzword way, i mean "organized a public execution of foreign diplomats during war time")… btw he doesn't feel particularly bad about any of this, because he believes it was necessary. Like he wouldn't do it for fun, but he thinks the ends (putting a good Emperor on the throne) justified the means (all of the atrocities). As a retiree, he definitely cut down on the amount of morally reprehensible murder, but not murder in general. He still routinely kills ppl, he just doesn't go out of his way to kill more. Wen Kexing, meanwhile, is the Ghost Valley Master - Ghost Valley being a place where the worst of criminals are exiled. Even in such a place, he has reputation as a complete lunatic, owed partially to the fact that he either skinned a man or fed him his own flesh or both at one point, and partially to him having a rule where he would kill anyone who came closer than 3 meters to him. But in truth, everything he'd done was to survive the Ghost Valley and eventually take revenge for his parents, who were brutally murdered when he was only nine. By the start of the novel's timeline, he put his plan in motion - the plan that would drown jianghu in blood, but also deliver poetic justice to all responsible for his parents' deaths, as well as all who'd commit the same crime given the chance. And these two men, these two murderers and schemers, meet - and unexpectedly, find in each other the person who /understands/. The person who is just as ruthless and whose hands are just as bloody, but also the person who knows standing at the top of the world is not worth it, who seeks the same freedom of leaving it all behind, and who is still, underneath it all, a human, with human heart seeking connection. So you have this couple who understand each other with barely a word, and who want the same things - who are so hungry for domesticity and for people they can just goof around with when all their lives they had to measure every step and word - but ALSO where one half a couple is like "i gotta go murder hundreds in revenge" and the other half is like "ok pick you up at 6". (This btw is why I'm submitting novel's iteration of the couple in particular. Show wenzhou with their ridiculous breakups over morality could Never.) Also they were both hiding who they are when they first met, and later flirted about having figured each other out. Finally, I'll leave you my favorite quote that just. perfectly sums up their relationship: "And just like that, they fell asleep in each other's arms, steeped in the smell of blood."

You’ve probably already had submissions for them but I’ll add on. One of them founded an assassin’s guild and killed a staggering number of people. His malewife is the leader of a sect of insane murderous outcasts, and he attained his position by proving to be the most crazy and murder happy of them all. Most of the plot involves him wandering around watching his schemes get more people killed. Together they adopt a kid that was only orphaned due to said scheming (oops). They’re terrible and I love them.

[thedreamworldlibrary]

Magia Chap. 4-Sara's 'Other Friends'

Next chapter, and a Sara-focused one! This one was my favorite to write! Maybe because Sara is one of my favorite characters, and I wanted to shed some light on what she’s been doing behind the scenes.

Big thanks to @gigilefache for being my beta reader.

Enjoy!

As Sara was walking to her office, she answered her phone and sighed, “Hey Winnie.”

“Hey, Sara,” Winnie replied. “Listen, I've been realizing you're lacking in souls. You said you had that Lewis kid in mind and I don’t see his soul.”

Sara sighed, “Look I’ll get his soul as soon as I can. Things have…come up, recently.” She explained.

Winnie growled, “Well you better hurry up!” He snapped.

Sara flinched on the other side of the phone, whimpering a bit.

“Litho doesn’t like waiting. I promised him a soul, and I better see one, or else he’s not going to be happy.” Winnie explained, before hanging up on her.

The female founder groaned in frustration, as she decided to go to her office, cool down, and think of what to do before Winnie or Litho did something to the facility. Sara was so lost in her thoughts she didn’t realize she bumped into her old teacher and current engineer, Eric.

“Oh, sorry Sara!” Eric apologized, struggling to hold the stacks of papers in his arms.

“N-No it’s fine. I should’ve looked where I was-” Sara was cut off as she froze as her eyes glowed pink.

Sara saw she was no longer at the facility, but in the forest, facing a burning house. She was horrified, stepping back away from the fire. She couldn’t run, or do anything just watch the fire burn as a familiar scream rang inside..

“HELP ME! SOMEBODY PLEASE LET ME OUT!” Eric screamed, banging on the door.

“Eric?” Sara asked. She stepped back, she didn’t want Eric to die. Out of everyone in this plan of immortality, she wanted to spare Eric. “N-No. Winnie…why…why him?”

“CARLY?! ANYONE!?” Eric screamed, begging for help.

“N-No! Eric!” Sara screamed as she tried to rescue him only for the roof of the house to collapse, cutting Eric’s cries off.

“ERIC NO!” Sara screamed, as her eyes went back to normal. She breathed heavily seeing she was back at the facility and not facing a burning building. 

“S-Sara?” Eric asked.

Sara slowly turned to see the older man, looking horrified. The papers he was holding fell to the ground.

“S-Sorry. I-I just…” Sara stuttered as the thoughts of Eric in a house fire plagued her mind.

Eric went over to her and hugged her tightly, shushing her and rubbing her back, “H-hey. It’s been a stressful few months, you and your friends need to take it easy for the day.” He said, in a soothing voice.

Sara sniffled and nodded, hugging Eric back. “A-Alright.” She replied.

Eric let go of the hug, ruffled Sara’s hair, and kneeled down to pick up the papers, “Once I pick all these papers up, I’ll let Lewis and Oliver know ok?”

“Okay,” Sara replied. She walked back to her office slowly, shut the door, and locked it. She slowly sank down to the floor pulled her legs close and buried her face.

At that point, Wiatt was right that she and Lewis did have powers. She wasn’t sure what Lewis’s was yet, but what she saw was a vision of Eric dying. She thought to herself, “Is my power time-related?”

“Wiatt, this is all your fault. You fucking idiot.” Sara whispered as she cried.

Sara quietly cried for about half an hour before calming down. She wiped the tears from her eyes pulled out her phone and called Winnie back. She had some questions to ask him, and hopefully, he’ll have the answers. Sara put the phone to her ear and waited for the Pegasus animatronic to call her back.

“This better be important.” Winnie groaned.

“It is.” Sara replied, “Where are you? I need to speak with you in person.”

Winnie smirked, “You know where I am,” He said.

Sara’s eyes widened knowing where Winnie was located. She hung up, unlocked her door, and looked around hoping no one saw her before stepping out of her office and headed towards the maintenance room. She looked around one more time before going in and shutting the door.

“Are you alone?” Winnie asked.

“I am,” Sara replied. “I made sure of it.”

Winnie groaned and stretched his body, tired of sitting around like he was broken. “Ah, finally! I hate sitting around like some rag doll.” He exclaimed. “So did you get the soul?”

Sara shook her head, which disappointed the Pegasus animatronic. “Before you get angry I have a question.” She stated.

Winnie groaned, “Not again Sara.”

“It’s important and I’ll get back on track with helping you.”

“Fine,” Winnie grumbled a bit, but Sara couldn’t make out what he said.

Sara pulled out her phone went to her photos and showed the most recent photo of Wiatt’s Jewelry Box. “Does this look familiar to you?” She asked.

Winnie looked at the photo and his eyes widened in shock. “Hey! I’ve seen that box before!” He exclaimed, “It was a family heirloom given from my grandfather to my father. What’s it doing in your hands?”

“It’s not mine. It’s Wiatt’s.” Sara replied, putting her phone back in her pocket.

“Who now?” Winnie asked, tilting his head.

“Just some friend of Lewis. He’s not my friend.” Sara answered. “Hey brought over this box, opened it and somehow all of us are acting strange.”

“How?”

“Well, for starters, did your family ever open the box?” Sara asked. If Winnie mentioned he and his family had it then sure she’ll get answers about how to cure her friends.

Winnie sighed, “We did, but all there was, was jewels. You couldn’t wear them, so we just let them sit on the high shelf as a way to organize books.” He explained.

Sara was surprised Winnie’s family opened the box, but nothing happened. So, why did something…magical happen?

Sara sighed, “Well for us…and this might sound crazy, but I think my friends and I got powers from the box.” She admitted.

Winnie stared at the female founder like she had two heads. He then snickered before going into full-on laughter, surprising Sara. “Oh, that’s rich! You, the other founders, and that Wiatt kid got powers from a box!” He laughed. “What’s next, one of those boys is my grandson!?”

Sara gave a light chuckle as if he wasn’t wrong.

The pegasus animatronic calmed down, and let out a sigh. “Alright, here’s what I’ll do. I’ll speak to Litho about this issue and see if he can issue you more time or let me do all the work.” He explained.

Sara sighed, “Thank you, Winnie.”

“Don’t thank me yet, Sara. Litho will still be angry about you not doing your job, and would probably make you do it for him.” Winnie said, inching close to Sara’s face. The female founder was frightened till Winnie pulled away and went off to where Litho was stationed.

Winnie walked towards a hidden area of the facility, an area that hadn’t been built yet, and the only thing there was caution tape. Despite working alongside Litho, Winnie was still  nervous talking to him.

“Uh…Litho it’s me.” Winnie spoke up.

A black shadow with multiple eyes appeared towering over the animatronic.

“Carlos? What brings you here? Is Sara doing what she was told?” Litho asked, calling Winnie by his former name.

“Uh…no, but she did ask me a weird question,” Winnie answered.

Litho glared as he circled around Winnie like a predator stalking its prey. “Why is that little pest so incompetent!?” He shouted, surprising the animatronic. “I thought I had that incompetent fool wrapped around my finger the day her life came tumbling down!”

“Well, uh…you’ve been around for a very long time Litho. So you must have knowledge of Sara’s question?” Winnie asked.

Litho glared, “this question better be important.” He spat.

“So, does a Jewelry Box with gems containing magical powers sound familiar to you?” Winnie asked, giving a sheepish smile.

Litho glared, but hearing about the Jewelry Box did sound familiar. “It depends, describe it for me.” He said.

“Well, it had four jewels painted on the lid, the box was wooden brown and rectangular in shape, and oh there was a red jewel that looked like your eyes,” Winnie explained.

Litho’s eyes widened before turning into a deep glare as Winnie described the box in full detail. Litho then leaned in closer as he growled at the Pegasus animatronic. “And none of you took it!?” He growled.

“W-Well it’s under the hands of a kid named Wiatt, he opened it and Sara thinks she, him, and her friends have powers or something,” Winnie replied, nervously.

Litho growled and used his puppet strings to pull Winnie close, his eyes glowing bright red. “That box is the reason why I LOOK LIKE THIS, you parasite!” He yelled. “It was the first time I was defeated, before meeting…”

“Meeting who?” Winnie asked. “The kid with the violin?”

“What do you think, Nicholson?” Litho asked.

“Oh. I get it now.” Winnie answered.

Litho dropped the animatronic to the ground as he continued to ramble about the Jewelry Box, “That box was created many years before I met that child. The four of them tried to stop me, but it wasn’t enough for them. Frankly, they're gone now.” He explained before chuckling.

Winnie brushed himself off as he looked at the demon, “So now what? Do you still want Sara and me to create immortality, or-“ Winnie was cut off by Litho.

“OF COURSE I STILL WANT YOU TWO TO HELP ME, YOU PEST!” Litho shouted, making Winnie flinch. Litho then calmed down and continued, “But keep an eye on Sara, her friends, and Wiatt for the time being. I’ll find the victims for you, in hopes it keeps Sara in line.”

“Yes of course,” Winnie replied. “In fact,” he smirked, “I may have someone in mind.”

Back at Eric’s office, Eric finally picked up all the papers off the ground and got them all organized. “Phew…finally got things done.” Eric sighed. He turned around to see Carly, relaxing on the couch in his office as she played a game on her phone.

Eric smiled but was soon interrupted by a text. The text was from a number he didn’t quite recognize. Thinking it was a spam message he was going to delete it until he saw the message started with:

“Hey, the Director here…”

Eric opened up the message and read it:

“Hey, the Director here! I left some important documents over at the household of Mr. Lewis Bright. Please go pick them up as soon as possible.”

Eric sighed and got up, which caught Carly’s attention. “Where are you going?” Carly asked.

“Got a message from the director.” Eric groaned. “He wants me to run by Lewis’s house to pick up paperwork.”

Carly got up, “can I go with you?” She asked.

“No Carly, best you stay here and keep an eye on Lewis and his friends,” Eric told her.

Carly groaned and rolled her eyes as she went back to playing her game.

Eric rushed out of the facility passing by Lewis, who was confused as to where his former teacher was running off. “Eric, where are you going, darling?” Lewis asked.

“Oh, the director texted me that I needed to pick up some important documents at your old home. I’ll be back.” Eric said as he rushed off in his car.

Lewis was confused, did Eric forget to take his medication again? He knew his former teacher had poor memory, but he started to take medication which helped at times. However, there were days when those poor memories would randomly kick in, even if he did take his medication. However, that’s once in a blue moon.

“Lewis,” Sara said. “Where is Eric running off to?”

“Something about some files being left at my house by the director.” Lewis explained. “However, I don’t recall any files left by the director.”

Sara’s eyes widened remembering her memories from her powers earlier. She hated remembering that, however, it was all connected…

The house in the woods…Lewis’s house was in the woods.

Eric…Eric would be in that house…and then…the fire…that dreaded fire.

Sara snapped out of it and ran after her former teacher, “Eric! Wait!” She yelled.

“Sara! What’s going on?!” Lewis shouted, confused where his best friend was going.

“No time to explain! I need to stop Eric, he’s in danger!” Sara yelled as she jumped into her car and went to Lewis’s home, hoping to make it in time to stop the older man.

Lewis stood in shock and confusion, “now what’s going on with her?” He asked.

In the shadows, Winnie snarled and glared at Sara. “What are you doing Sara?”

[rubyreduji]

he was a skater boy — hvc

summary: your skater boy best friend asks for your help to get with the head of the dance team

tags: slice of life, slight angst, skater boy!vernon, best friend!vernon, high school!au, gn!reader wc: 3.6k an: reader is in their avril lavigne era, we love debut vernon

“CHWE!” At the sound of his name being called, Vernon turns around to see you riding up to him on your skateboard. When you get closer to him you stop your board and walk the rest of the way to meet him. “What did you need from me?”

Earlier today your best friend told you he needed to talk to you later and to meet him at The Place. The Place being the parking lot of the abandoned shopping strip that went out when the new pier was built.

“So as you know you’re my best friend,” he starts.

“Yes…? Oh my god, are you breaking up with me?” You ask deadpanned. Vernon sighs in fake frustration which makes you crack a grin, which makes him crack a grin.

“But seriously dude, you’re my best friend which means I should come to you with shit like this. So like, I kinda…have a crush on someone,” he admits. You try not to laugh at him. You fail. “Hey!”

“Sorry man, that’s just…not what I was expecting. You’re being all dramatic like you’re dying or some shit. So what? You have the hots for someone, why are you telling me? Unless you’re in love with me Nonie~” You tease him and he glares at you before shoving at your shoulder.

“C’mon be serious. I’m telling you because I need help.” 

“Oh? Little Chwe doesn’t have game so he needs Y/N’s superior help?” You smirk at him. He shoves you again.

“I just need some pointers. You date people all the time! Plus you’re friends with this person, so just wingman me,” Vernon says.

“May I remind you that the people I date don’t exactly work out. Besides, you’re a catch man, what do you need me for? Everyone I’m friends with are total losers. Including you.” You punch him in the arm.

“Yeah, yeah, but that’s why I need your help. I mean, how else am I going to get Vanessa to like me.” The name makes your smile drop. You stare at Vernon a little incredulously.

“There’s no fucking way you have a crush on Vanessa Jeffries.”

“I know, okay! But you gotta help me out here man.”

“Hansol.” You give him a pointed look.

“Gross, don’t call me that.” Vernon makes a scrunched up face to display his disgust. “I will literally do anything Y/N.”

“Ness and I aren’t friends anymore, you know this,” you huff annoyed.

Vanessa Jefferies. She lives in the house two doors down from yours and you guys grew up together. Before Vernon was your best friend, it was Vanesssa. That was until you started to get into skateboarding and pop punk music and she started to get into dance and student council.

Once high school hit it was easy for you guys to split apart, especially since her older sister drove her to school and you still had to take the bus (two months into freshman year you just started skateboarding to school). Not that you didn’t try to stay friends, but she was always too busy with new friends or clubs or whatever and at some point you just stopped trying as well. By the end of first semester of freshman year she had a whole new group of friends and a whole new style and even attitude. You on the other hand didn’t change much but that meant that you were still on the outskirts of the school hierarchy.

Then halfway through second semester Vernon moved to California from New York and you guys became fast friends over your shared love of skateboarding and cringey emo phases and it didn’t matter that Vanessa didn’t even look at you in the halls anymore because you had Vernon.

Now in senior year Vanessa is head of the dance squad, student body president, the founder of the conservation club, and on track to be class valedictorian. And you’re still riding to school on your skateboard listening to the same music you have been for four years. You can’t even remember the last time you talked to her, let alone had a conversation.

It’s a whole cliche, you know, and it annoys you to no end, but there’s nothing you can do about it. Vanessa isn’t going to suddenly show up at your doorstep begging to be friends again and you’re not going to change your personality just to fit in with her group of friends. You honestly were planning on spending the rest of high school ignoring her and her band of asshole followers without a second thought.

But here’s your best friend asking you to help him score a date with the most popular girl in school and it’s Vernon so as much as you tease him you still have the biggest soft spot for him and can’t say no.

“Please Y/N?” He begs, eyes round and pleading.

You groan out loud and drag a hand down your face. “Fine. But you owe me so badly Chwe.” 

“He wants you to what?”

You groan. “He wants me to help him get with Ness.”

“Ha, good luck with that.” 

You’re laying on Josh’s bed as he sits at his desk working on his homework. Joshua Hong is the only other person you would consider a good friend outside of Vernon. He lives in the house diagonal from yours and he grew up with you and Vanessa. He was never as close to Vanessa as you were though, always being more of your friend than hers. Unlike either of you Joshua keeps a middle of the road popularity with most of his friends being kids from the theatre department.

As much as you love Vernon he’s a “out to have a good time” friend, whereas Joshua is a “talk until three am about your issues” friend.

“You aren’t really thinking about helping him are you? You’ve had the biggest crush on him since he moved to California, there’s no way you can help him get with your ex-best friend.”

“What else can I do Josh? He’s my best friend. I can't just not do anything.”

“I know, I know. Just…don’t hurt yourself, okay?”

“Aww is Joshie worried about me?”

“Nevermind break your own heart bitch.”

You’re about to retort back to Josh when the doorbell rings. His parents aren’t home so you and Joshua both make your way down the stairs. When he opens the door you swear the universe is playing tricks on you.

“Hey Joshua! Oh, hey Y/N.” The girl you were just discussing is standing there on Joshua’s front porch with a smile on her face. “Wow this is actually so fortunate you’re both here! As you know since we’re all seniors this year we have senior projects to do and I was wondering if you guys wanted to do ours together! I’m head of the conversation club and I was thinking of doing a neighborhood clean up and since you guys live here too we could all work on it together.”

Joshua is about to respond but you cut him off by shoving him to the side and taking his place in front of Vanessa. “Hey Ness, it’s been so long! As great as that sounds, Josh and I are already working on our senior projects together. But you know who still needs an idea and loves the planet? My friend Vernon. You should ask him.”

“Vernon,” Vanessa mutters like she’s trying to figure out who he is. “The brunet skater guy right?”

“Yep, that’s him! Chwe’s his last name, you can find him in the phone book. Thanks, bye!” With that you close the front door of the Hong residence and drop your fake smile.

“Y/N! Why did you do that?” Joshua hisses, rubbing his arm where you shoved him.

“Because I’m helping Vernon out! I wouldn’t have said yes anyways. Working with Vanessa to clean up the neighborhood? I’ll pass.”

“You don’t even want him to date Vanessa!” Joshua shouts.

“You’re right! Are you happy?” You snap back, then let out a deep sigh. “He wouldn't like me back anyways Shua, so I’m not going to risk our friendship over a stupid crush. If he wants Vanessa then Vanessa is what he’s going to get. I just want him happy, I’ll be okay.”

At your tone of voice and the use of the nickname Joshua doesn’t say anything more and you’re grateful for that, but you still see the way he can’t wipe the concerned look off his face.

“The skater guy? He’s weird Vanessa.” The grating shrill voice of Polly Brunham fills your ears as you walk past the girl’s bathroom during study hall. “You were already pushing it by asking Y/N L/N to help with your senior project.”

You roll your eyes at this. Of course Vanessa and her friends are gossiping about you and Vernon. This is the exact reason you were hesitant on helping Vernon out in the first place.

“Hey don’t talk about Y/N like that. As for Vernon, I talked to him earlier. He seems nice and really willing to help. He’s kinda cute too,” Vanessa giggles. You frown at this. Vanessa thinks Vernon is cute. Your dorky best friend who is in need of a haircut and only got his braces off a few months ago. 

“You’re joking with me, you have to be!” Another shrill voice. You then hear Vanessa laughing as well. Of course she’s joking.

“I’m just being nice okay. I’m student body president, I can’t just turn people down when they offer their help like that. Y/N seemed really insistent when I asked too, so let's just call it a favor to an old friend.” You roll your eyes before continuing to walk back to study hall.

The next time you see Vernon is at lunch and you’re about to tell him what you overheard in the bathroom but he barely stops at your table to talk to you.

“Y/N! You’re literally the best! Vanessa wants to eat lunch with me and talk about the senior project!”

“Listen Vern, Vanessa isn’t the type of person to-”

“Hey I have to go, but I’ll see you after school okay!” With that he rushes off. You watch him walk up to Vanessa’s table and the two walk into the courtyard. Your eyes land on Vanessa’s friends and the way they start to whisper the second Vernon leaves. 

You’ll tell him later.

You don’t tell him later.

You barely have five seconds alone with him anymore and he always looks so happy when you do talk to him that you don’t want to crush that. Not to mention that Vanessa always looks happy to be around Vernon, and not in the fake way, in the genuine way. 

Before you know it a whole month has passed and it seems that Vernon and Vanessa have become friends. They’re together most of the time which leads you to spending more time with Joshua who keeps sending you pitying looks every time you hang out.

“You have to tell him,” Joshua insists.

“No I don’t.”

“At least tell him to balance his time better! You guys went from seeing each other everyday to barely even speaking. It’s sad.”

“Stay out of it Joshua,” you growl.

“No! You’re killing yourself over here Y/N. Everyday since you told Vanessa to ask Vernon for help on the senior project you’ve been wallowing in this cloud of miserableness and I’m tired of it! Your happiness shouldn’t be sacrificed for Vernon’s,” Joshua tells you. This is what you love and hate about him. He’s also honest with you and tells you the exact thing you need to hear. He’s great at giving advice, it’s just you who’s bad at taking it.

“It’s fine. Things will go back to normal after they finish the senior project. They should be done soon anyways, have you not seen the posters Vanessa has been putting around the neighborhood?”

The neighborhood clean up she and Vernon are planning is set for the Saturday in two weeks. Your mom keeps talking about it and every time she does you either leave the room or put your earbuds in.

“Fine, but if things don’t get better after the clean up then you better do something.”

Vernon has asked you to hang out together today. The text takes you by surprise because you haven't heard for him in a while because he's "been busying planning the clean up". You don't think there can be that much planning going on. He's probably just trailing around Vanessa like the pathetic shadow he's been for the past five weeks.

He asks to meet up at your guys' favorite skate park which makes you forgive him a little bit. Deep down he's still Vernon, your stupid skater best friend who spends too much time trying to stick skills that just ends up with his hands being scraped up.

When you get there he's about to drop into the bowl. The park is fairly empty, but even if it wasn't Vernon is easy to spot with his colorful outfits and his tall figure.

You stop walking so you can stand and watch him do his trick. You can tell what trick he's trying to the second he drops in. It's the same one he's been trying to stick for months now. He picks up speed around the bowl before flying out, catching air, only to fly right back in, speeding up even more. He goes around the bowl before he catches his tail on the lip, riding around the rim.

You stare, anticipating the normal fall he always does when he gets to the final skill, but you watch at he grabs the lip of the bowl and kicks his feet up into the air for a few seconds before bringing them back down, sticking in the landing and riding out of the bowl.

Holy shit.

This is the first time he's ever been able to stick all three skills back to back. You can tell he's hyped off of adrenaline and you make haste to go congratulate him, just as stoked as he is.

That is until Vernon doesn't turn to you. He turns to the girl who's sitting on the bench excitedly clapping.

"Holy shit did you see that!" Vernon calls excited to her.

She giggles. "You're so cool. I would have fell the second I stepped foot on the skateboard."

Of course. Of fucking course.

You laugh to yourself a bit incredulously. Of course he brings Vanesssa here. Why did you expect that you would be able to get just one moment alone with your best friend? Why did you expect him to keep your guys' favorite hobby to just you and him?

You have half the mind to turn around and leave but Vernon finally catches sight of you.

"Y/N! Hey! You would never believe what I just did!"

"I uh saw," you say.

"Oh. Hey Y/N." Vanessa smiles at you.

"...Hey Ness...What are you doing here?"

"I invited her!" Vernon says happily. "She asked me to sat in on one of her dance rehearsals and I said it was only fair if she came with me to the skate park, so here we are."

Vernon...your Vernon...sat in on a dance team rehearsal.

You love Vernon, you want him to be happy, but not if it means this. Not if it means he's dropping his friends and doing things he doesn't enjoy just to be around Vanessa Jeffries.

Honestly if this is what he wants, you're not going to stop him. He can be happy, but you don't have to jeoprodize your happiness as well.

"Yeah, hey uh, I think Josh needed me for something so I have to go. I'll catch you later." You know its a lie but you don't really care. You don't even bother to listen to Vernon's response before you mount your board and skate away.

“Are you and Joshua dating?” You don’t even have a chance to take your earbuds out before Vernon is interrogating you.

“Excuse me?” He hasn’t talked to you properly in weeks (you are not counting the skate park incident) and now he’s demanding you to answer his question like nothing has happened.

“Are you and Joshua Hong dating?”

“That’s fucking disgusting Vernon. Why would I be dating Josh?”

“I don’t know. You’re around him all the time now and you guys look really comfortable.”

“Yeah that’s called fifteen years of friendship. Plus you’re around Vanessa all the time, even when you ask to hang out with me, so I don’t know what you want from me anymore. To sit around alone everyday waiting for you to finally text me back? Yeah right Hansol, you’re out of your mind.” His first name slips out, something that happens when you’re particularly upset with him. “I don’t care whatever crush you have on her, but don’t think I’m stupid enough to just sit around and wait for you. Just leave me be.” With that you grab your things and walk away from him and he’s too stunned to follow.

Your mom forces you to go to the neighborhood clean up. You’re in jeans and a t-shirt as you stand off to the side with Joshua. You glare over at where Vernon and Vanessa are standing, talking to some of the neighbors.

“He’s being an ass,” you say.

“That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try and fix things,” Joshua sighs.

“Why should I try when he isn’t?”

“Because things won’t get better if neither of you try!”

The rest of the day sucks. It’s hot as you go around trying to clean up trash and pull weeds. You stick close to Josh the whole time and barely even look at Vernon. You’re considering just leaving at one point but Joshua stops you because his conscience is too nice to leave but he doesn’t want to be left alone.

Finally after too many hours of working everything is done. You’re itching to go home and take a shower but you stop when you see Vernon and Vanessa standing and talking.

“Vanessa, I have something to tell you.”

“Yes Hansol?” You cringe. Vernon hates being called Hansol. It’s even worse since you guys became friends because now he associated it with you being mad at him.

“I like you. I have for a while and doing this project with you really solidified everything. I love being around you and I hope you feel the same way. Will you go on a date with me?”

“Oh Hansol,” you hate the pity in Vanessa’s voice, “I don’t like you like that. You’re a great kid and this project was really fun but you’re just not my type.”

“Oh…”

“I’m really sorry.” With that Vanessa turns her back and walks away from Vernon.

You hate the dejected look on Vernon’s face. You hate the way you can see the pain in his eyes as he watches Vanessa leave. When she’s fully out of sight Vernon finally looks away and just happens to meet your eyes.

And just like that weeks of pain and distance don’t exist anymore. You’re walking to Vernon and wrapping him in your arms as he silently cries into your shoulder.

“Hey Vern?”

“What’s up?”

“How would you feel if I wrote a song about Vanessa Jeffries?”

Your boyfriend looks up from his desk top to stare at you. “What?”

You laugh a bit. “You remember senior year?” He nods. “What if I write a song about it? Something like, he was a skater boy, she said see you later boy.”

“That’s awful.”

“No it’s not!” You smack his shoulder. 

Senior year was a distant memory at this point. You and Vernon are now happily dating (even though it didn’t happen until sophomore year of college) and now you guys are both singer-songwriters while Vernon produces music as well.

“And what if Vanessa hears it?”

“Then she’ll know what a fat L she took when she turned you down,” you answer. “But it’s a good thing because now you are dating the coolest person on the planet.”

“I didn’t know I was dating Woozi from Seventeen. How lucky is that.”

“Haha,” you deadpan at your boyfriend’s K-Pop obsession. He just cracks a grin at you. “I’m going to write the best damn song ever and you’re going to see how it blows up. Just wait.”

“Sorry, girl, but you missed out. Well, tough luck that boy's mine now. We are more than just good friends. This is how the story ends. Too bad that you couldn't see, see the man that boy could be. There is more that meets the eye, I see the soul that is inside.” You sing out. You can feel the sweat running down your forehead as the hot stadium lights shine down on you. “We are in love, haven't you heard, how we rock each other's world~”

Your fingers fly over the strings of your guitar skillfully as you smirk. Of course you proved your boyfriend wrong. You always write bangers. Your eyes flit over to the side of the stage where he’s standing there watching you, a smile playing at his own lips.

You look down into the audience and you swear you catch a familiar face, an almost knowing look plastered on said face.

“I'll be at a studio, singing the song we wrote, about a girl you used to know~” You finish. The audience erupts into applause and you smile and thank them before heading off stage.

“Phenomenal as always,” Vernon tells you the second you meet him.

“I know,” you smirk and he rolls his eyes playfully. “Did you see she was here tonight?”

“Who?”

“Vanessa Jeffries.”

“Holy shit.”

“Tell her hey when you go out,” you tell him. “I mean, she’s the whole reason this song is such a hit.”

“God you’re awful,” Vernon says.

“But you love me.” You lean forward to kiss Vernon. “And my awful song.”

“Yeah, I really do.”

taglist: @pandorashbox @leejihoonownsmyheart @soonhoonietrash @enhacolor @brxzilianbaby @baldi-2 @moshiyuron @chaimi-yuta @embrace-themagic @kayleeshinee

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[theimaginatrix27]

I've been in the Star Trek fandom spaces long enough, time to talk publicly about a thing that I am injecting into every fic where it is relevant

So if you've been paying attention to my blog the last couple months, you will know I am a huge fan of @enbygesserit 's work. They write the absolute best Dominion lore and fic I have ever had the pleasure of reading/encountering, and I eat up each new piece like my favourite confectionery.

What I am about to discuss predates any exposure I had to their work by at least thirteen years.

And the ship it surrounds was my DS9 OTP for two entire decades (before I discovered the O'Brien polycule and now my DS9 otp is a "One True Polyamorous tangle", but moving on).

That ship being Kiraodo. My heart broke when Odo confessed his love to an apparently dying Kira, she said she loved him back, and that was the clue for him to realise she was not Kira at all. And then when the Female Changeling Voice of the Link told him Kira would never love him because he was a Changeling, I was a tiny sad twelve-yo who thought, "But I love him!" And then I wanted it to be a thing.

And when I found out it was a thing in canon but they had to part ways at the end of the series, I was happy and sad at the same time.

I was a teenager, I didn't know the relationship felt awkward to some (though to be fair I still hated Children of Time and what the alternate/Gaia Odo did, but I address that in another fic so it's fine). I just wanted the sad Changeling and the fiery Bajoran to prove the mean Changeling wrong.

But also, I acknowledged to myself, even in 2009-10, that it would not be fair to Odo at all to make him leave his people again so quickly. I felt sympathetic toward the Changelings/Founders even as a teenager who had not and would not see DS9 in its entirety (curse you, cable TV! You with your reruns and exorbitant prices making it so hard for us to keep you for more than a few months at a time!) Anyways, I knew even then that I didn't want to take Odo away from his people again, even for him and Kira to be together.

So what was my solution?

Here were the canon points I considered at age nineteen (I was creating the bare bones of the Galactic Warp AU at the time and also had a strict must-adhere-to-canon policy for any fanfic ideas I'd had at the time):

The Great Link turned Odo into a solid.

The baby Changeling in The Begotten turned him back, at the cost of its life (but maybe not if it hadn't already been dying).

Therefore, it is canonically possible for a solid to become a Changeling.

What if Kira had been Changelinged?

WHY IS THAT NOT CANON?

I have this as a significant plot point in any Kiraodo content I'm going to write, so if you see Kiraodo becoming a thing in any fic, expect to see Changeling Kira show up somewhere.

"But wait!" someone yells. "You just said you didn't want to take Odo from his people, and Kira's Bajoranness is a huge part of her identity! And you're gonna just take that away from her?"

No, actually. You think the Prophets give a shit whether or not Kira's corporeal form is solid? Fuck no, they're not corporeal and time is not linear for them! The Kira is always the Kira. The Kira is always of Bajor. The Kira is always beloved of the Prophets.

This holds true in every single fic in which I have inserted this. Kira doesn't always become a Changeling full time (some of my AUs have magic), but more importantly, She never stops being Bajoran in the ways that really matter.

Which, if this had been a canon episode, would have been emphasised by the Prophets themselves and I am not taking critique on this.

"But the Founders would never do this in canon!" I hear you cry. "They hate solids and the Voice doesn't like Kira especially!"

First of all, the convoluted love triangle between Odo, Kira and the Voice was stupid.

Second of all, it doesn't even have to be them who do it, we got other more powerful entities around! Q was basically banned from DS9, sure, but what if Kira and Odo weren't on DS9?

Here's my idea for how this could have happened in canon, if the writers had really wanted to sell us the ship.

Odo and Kira have been away on a mission together (doesn't matter where, they just have to be off the station). It's sometime in Season 6, post the Dominion occupation of DS9. When the runabout returns, Odo coms the station and says he needs to give them warning about something, and they're going to have to take him at his word, however hard that may be.

"What's wrong?" Sisko asks. "And where's Major Kira?"

In response, Odo holds up his bucket. There is a Changeling in goo form inside.

"There was an—incident while we were returning from our mission. It was successful, by the way."

Sisko stares at the screen intently for a moment.

"Are you saying," he asks slowly, "that Major Kira was replaced by a Changeling?"

"No, Captain," Odo responds. "I am saying this Changeling is Major Kira."

Cue opening theme!

And possibly this would be a two-parter! I feel that with the whole theme of DS9 being nuance, and with the Dominion being such a big deal, it deserves to be!

Basically the plot would first involve a flashback to Q popping in while Kira and Odo are arguing about something Changeling-related or whatever, going "You know, I've been watching you and yours for a while now—from a safe distance of course—and frankly, I've been surprised by the lack of nuance with regard to the Founders."

And Kira's all, "Oh come on, don't you start with this high-and-mighty attitude! I read all the records about you after your last visit to Deep Space 9, you don't have any room to talk!"

"And neither do you," Q fires back. "You think your terrible acts were justified, don't you? Oh, you know they were dreadful, the fact that you could be so violent distressed you so! But when it comes down to it, you can sleep at night, because you helped drive out the Cardassians and set Bajor free. But when the Dominion imposes their order on their part of the galaxy because they used to be oppressed and were traumatised, you sit there on what moral high ground you have and pass judgment on them!"

"I don't need to hear this! Especially not from you! Sisko made you stay away from the station—from us! Now get off this runabout and leave us alone."

"Oh, you do need to hear it, Nerys. But if you insist on me leaving, let me do so on my terms. Don't worry, my little firework, I'll make sure you don't need my help undoing this." And he snaps his fingers and disappears.

And Kira's form begins to melt and she barely has time to call Odo's name before she dissolves into Changeling goo.

Back on DS9, everyone's a bit frantic after seeing the runabout footage, which confirms Odo's story. He links with her and is able to help her reform after a little time, during which we get to hear panicked Kira thoughts and some cool visuals of what the link is like for her. We get a scene after she's able to shift back into herself where Jadzia quips that she's got purple hair and Cardassian neck ridges or something, which is not amusing to her at all.

Then there's a whole discussion on how they're going to fix her before the rest of the Federation finds out, because "Are they going to believe the testimony of one rogue Changeling and the footage from a runabout computer? What if they decide Kira's a threat and take her into custody?"

And the answer is pretty obvious, especially after Julian examines a sample of her matrix and discovers traces of her dna are still in it.

They have to take her to the Great Link so she can be restored to solidity. The Founders are rather good at genetic manipulation, after all. It'll be fine!

Except they're at war, and the Voice does not like Kira, which forms the majority of the conflict, as they have to convince any Dominion forces they meet that "Seriously, we are not here to fight, please don't blow us up, we just want to help our friend, yes we mean it, don't fire!"

And in the end Kira has to pretend to be a Founder just to get the various ships to leave them alone, and it's weird as fuck for her but she makes it to the Great Link and the Voice is there and doesn't believe her at first until they link and she gets proof from her memories.

Which leads to Kira finding out about the morphogenic virus early, and being incensed, because "Look, I don't like you, but that's crossing multiple lines! I'd never have signed off on that if it were up to me, and I know Sisko wouldn't either! Doctor Bashir's brilliant—he can help you, I'm sure of it."

"Even if we did not help you right away?"

"I can wait, if I have to. I'm kind of getting used to this whole thing. It's been—an interesting experience."

And after another link to confirm that yes, she means that and it's not even in a bad way, the Voice consents to help her regain her solid status and she goes into the Great Link, gets a small taste of the Founders' collective trauma and is deeply moved by it, bursting into tears when she emerges, once more humanoid. There's a whole final scene about how she wishes more people in the Federation could have experienced what she did, and then she goes to write a log entry on the whole thing or something.

But this would absolutely change the trajectory of the war because that's how DS9 works, so it wouldn't just be handwaved away. in subsequent episodes, Julian is able to find a cure—possibly with help from within the Dominion itself because the Founders would very much like to not die and Julian is being Julian at them and they're taking a real liking to him.

And the galaxy is saved because Q did a thing! But also Kira understands Odo better after this and their relationship is all the richer for it.

*Starts chanting* It should've been canon, it should've been canon, it should've been canon, IT SHOULD'VE BEEN CANON!

[bitimdrake]

How would I get into teen titans but like everything? I want the fab fave AND the Kori, Raven, BB group but idk where to start

Yes okay so!!! Short answer: New Teen Titans if you can. Also Titans vol 1 (1999). Maybe Teen Titans: Year One if you want an easy intro. And a full guide here:

Guide to (Teen) Titans Comics

I'm going to list things here chronologically, but you do not have to read everything, or read it in order if you don't want to. (I've still only read a few issues here and there from the original run, myself. It's the 90s series that got me into the fab five.)

I recommend starting at the beginning, but jumping ahead to the next section if you're having trouble with an era.

Overview:

The original, Pre-Crisis team, beginning with the fab five

The New Teen Titans team of the 80s, which is the blueprint for the famous Kory/Raven/Vic/etc team

The fab five return to prominence in the 90s Titans, blending in the NTT team

The "Teen Titans" name becomes more generic in the 2000s, but the original generation remains as the blend of fab five and NTT

The Original Team

This era is very dated and often corny, but it's also the inception of the team. This is the original era of the fab five, who will be joined by many others, including briefly Beast Boy.

The Brave and the Bold vol 1 #54 (first meeting of the original trio: Dick, Garth, Wally)

The Brave and the Bold vol 1 #60 (addition of Donna)

optional modern prequel: Teen Titans: Year One - an easy introduction and light read, though with its own interpretation of the characters

Teen Titans vol 1 (1966-1978) - the original run of 53 issues. If you want just a few issues, I recommend: #1, #4 (Roy!), #22 (Donna's origins), and #53 (final issue, and reveal of an early mission that explains why Roy is a founder)

The Teen Titans break up by the end of the run, splitting into their own lives. But they won't all be apart for long:

New Teen Titans

The origin of the second team you named, with plenty of guest spots from the original Titans that aren't leads.

Now in the 80s, we leave the corny antics behind for a more mature tone with a lot of focus on civilian life and character arcs. This era is dated for different reasons, most notably some stuff that has not aged well.

It's flawed, but I still adore this series. And, 40 years later, it's not hard to argue this remains the seminal Titans run to this day.

...It also changed names or reset ordering multiple times, and had a bunch of tie-in miniseries, so the list of how to read is going to be kinda long. I swear it's worth it.

DC Comics Presents #26 (optional) - a preview of the team before the book launched

New Teen Titans vol 1 (1980) #1-9 - the real start of the team

Best of DC #18 (optional)

New Teen Titans vol 1 #10-20

Tales of the New Teen Titans (1982) #1-4 - tie-in miniseries

New Teen Titans vol 1 #21-25 / Annual #1 / #26-34 / Annual #2 / #35-37

crossover into Batman and the Outsiders #5

New Teen Titans vol 1 #38-40

series changed names to Tales of the Teen Titans #41-44 / Annual #3 / #45-58

(NOTE: TotTT technically continues after #58, but it's all reprints)

numbering restarts in New Teen Titans vol 2 (1984) #1-12 / Annual #1

New Teen Titans vol 2 #13-14 - tie-ins for Crisis on Infinite Earths

New Teen Titans vol 2 #15-23 / Annual #2

Teen Titans Spotlight (1986) - another miniseries, this one spotlighting various characters. Only the first two issues are really referenced in the main run.

New Teen Titans vol 2 #24-39 / Annual #3 / #40-49 / Annual #4

series changed names to New Titans #50-55 / Annual #5 / #56-59

New Titans vol 2 #60-61 - part of Batman: A Lonely Place of Dying

New Titans vol 2 #62-70 / Annual #6

I recommend stopping here. The series gets very bad after this. (And what they do to my dearest boy, light of my life, apple of my eye...) But, respecting the completionist urge:

New Titans #71-79 / Annual #7 / #80-86

New Titans #87-92- crossover with Deathstroke and Team Titans

New Titans Annual #8

Titans Sell-Out Special (1992) - oneshot

New Titans #93-99 / Annual #9 / #100-114

Optionally, get continuity for Starfire in the third story of Showcase ‘94 #11

The run continues here with an almost entirely new team, led by Roy, that is far less known. Most of the original New Titans return for the last few issues.

New Titans #0 - tie-in to Zero Hour

New Titans #115-122 / Annual #11 / #123-130

Something Completely Different

The 90s tried out an entirely new Teen Titans with entirely new characters in Teen Titans vol 2 (1996). I've heard decent things about it, though never read it.

If you're just sticking with established characters, the fab five takes the spotlight for a single arc in Teen Titans vol 2 #12-16.

90s Titans

Here we reach comics that feel more modern. This iteration returns the fab five to precedence, but blends in the New Titans line-up and a few new faces, to turn them into a cohesive generation.

Like I said, this run is what made me fall in love with the fab five. imo, it starts very strong, though quality starts to slip later on.

JLA/Titans #1-3 - the miniseries that kickstarts the new run

Titans vol 1 (1999) #1-2

Titans Secret Files and Origins #1 (1999)

Titans vol 1 #3-19 / Annual #1 / #20

Titans Secret Files and Origins #2 (2000)

Titans vol 1 #21-50

Titans/Young Justice: Graduation Day #1-3 - the team ends as it began, with a crossover miniseries

Messy Generations

So at the same time as Titans was Young Justice (1998), which focused on the new generation of kid heroes. (Happy to make another post for how to read YJ if you like.) But when the TT cartoon came out in 2003, DC decided to split up both teams--in the above miniseries--to launch a new run that would hopefully capture fans of the show.

At this point, we split into two pieces. Some of the old Titans join with some of Young Justice in Teen Titans vol 3 (2003). Meanwhile other former Titans (or, well, Dick and Roy, and later Kory) start up Outsiders vol 3 (2003).

Which (or both, or neither) you consider to carry the spirit of the Titans is up to you. I love Outsiders for Dick and Roy, but the team overall is not very Titans, and I lost interest after Roy leaves. Meanwhile TTv3 carries the name and more characters, but is of consistently meh quality, and eventually shifts to just the younger generation.

These series crossover plenty, so I'll list them together. Pick the bits you're interested in.

Teen Titans/Outsiders: Secret Files and Origins #1 (2003) - inception of both teams

Outsiders vol 3 (2003) #1-3

Teen Titans vol 3 (2003) #1-6 (in which they massacre my boy, light of my life, apple of my eye, again)

Outsiders vol 3 #4-7

Teen Titans vol 3 #1/2 - that's issue "one half"

Teen Titans vol 3 #7-12

Outsiders vol 3 #8-15

Teen Titans vol 3 #13-16 / Teen Titans/Legion Special / Teen Titans vol 3 #17-20

Outsiders vol 3 #16-19

Teen Titans vol 3 #21-23

Outsiders vol 3 #20-23

Insiders crossover: Teen Titans vol 3 #24 / Outsiders vol 3 #24 / Teen Titans vol 3 #25 / Outsiders vol 3 #25

The Return of Donna Troy #1-4 - miniseries

Teen Titans/Outsiders: Secret Files and Origins #2 (2005)

optional: Outsiders #26-27, where the unrelated original team of Outsiders return

Outsiders vol 3 #28

Teen Titans vol 3 #26-28

Infinite Crisis begins and bleeds into everything:

Outsiders vol 3 #29-30

Teen Titans vol 3 #29-31

Outsiders vol 3 #31-33

Teen Titans vol 3 #32

Robin #146-147

Teen Titans vol 3 Annual #1 / #33

Here we jump ahead with One Year Later.

Roy and Kory leave the Outsiders and I no longer consider this run even Titans-adjacent, so I'll stop including it here. It'll last until issue #49, where it changed to a whole new Batman-led team.

Meanwhile any older characters leave the Teen Titans, and it is purely the younger generation after that:

Teen Titans vol 3 #34-47

Teen Titans vol 3 #48-49 - tie-ins to Amazons Attack, which is not good

Blue Beetle vol 7 (2006) #18

Teen Titans vol 3 #50-54

The Titans / Teen Titans Split

DC made a stupid problem for themselves. People still love the older generation of Titans and want them back. But the younger generation has now also taken the same name. What to do?

Well you see, uh. The Teen Titans and the Titans are now two completely different teams. Just go with it. The new run of Titans had a great line-up, blending the OGs and NTT, but didn't last long and ultimately accomplished very little. Again, listing the two runs together, as they intersect a lot.

Titans East Special #1 - prelude to the Titans reforming

Titans vol 2 (2008) #1-4

optional mini DC Special: Cyborg #1-6

Teen Titans vol 3 #55-61

Titans vol 2 #5-10 (they keep massacring my boy!!!!)

Teen Titans vol 3 #62-68

optional Terror Titans #1-6 - miniseries related to Teen Titans

Titans vol 2 #11

Teen Titans vol 3 #69

Death Trap crossover (my boy.....): Teen Titans vol 3 Annual #2 / Titans vol 2 #12 / Vigilante vol 3 (2009) #5 / Teen Titans vol 3 #70 / Titans vol 2 #13 / Vigilante vol 3 #6

Teen Titans vol 3 #71

Titans vol 2 #14

Teen Titans vol 3 #72-74

Titans vol 2 #15-18

Teen Titans vol 3 #75-76

Titans vol 2 #19-20

Blackest Night tie-ins: Titans vol 2 #21-22 / Blackest Night: Titans #1-3 / Teen Titans vol 3 #77-78

Titans vol 2 #23 - This issue fills me with anger. If you have not read all the stuff before this, it is very important to me that you know everything in it about Roy is wrong and bad.

Teen Titans vol 3 #79-87

The Teen Titans get to continue on as normal:

Teen Titans vol 3 #88-91

Red Robin #20

Teen Titans vol 3 #92-100

However, once again the older generation is thrown apart. From here on out, Titans weirdly becomes about a team of mercenaries led by Deathstroke. Why this was not just made a new run I have no idea. It's also not good fyi. It kicks off in Titans: Villains for Hire Special, then ends the Titans run with #24-38.

Reboots

After that, the universe rebooted for the New 52.

The New 52 is bad. The New 52 brought us Teen Titans vol 4 and 5 (both still about the Tim/Cassie/Bart/etc generation). Do not read these runs. And if you even think about bringing up New 52 Roy or Kory I will stomp you with my hooves.

Then we reboot again for Rebirth, and my expertise ends. I know the original Titans finally return from the war with Titans vol 3 (2016). I cannot weigh in yet if it's good. I know there is also a new Teen Titans vol 6 (2016) run, with most of the cartoon's characters, led nonsensically by Damian Wayne, which I suspect is not great but cannot confirm yet.

And then nowadays we have uh. Teen Titans Academy, I think? Look, at this point, I am as lost as you, but pretty sure all the worthwhile stuff is already listed above.

I hope this is helpful! Feel free to ask any follow ups :)