#Which tbh it probably a good thing I wouldn't want to have stressed them out

[sysig]

Baby’s first successful molt under our care ♥

[bronx-bomber87]

Hello my wonderful fandom family :) Thanks for being so patient with me. I know I have till January but I am moving/slash road tripping at the end of Sept to a new state. Which is a HUGE change. Going two time zones ahead and everything. So wanting to get it out there before I move and have even less time LOL Also thank you for wanting to take this journey with me. S6 was hard on all of us.

Haven't had a show rock me this hard in a very long time. So I'm forever grateful for the love and comments these in depth reviews get. Never want to take that for granted. This was a ROUGH season to say the least. But I’m excited to dissect it with decompressed eyes and somewhat healed shipper heart. Be lying if I was saying it was fully healed. But was a much needed break for me. Let us begin shall we?

6x01 Strike Back.

Premiere starts off with a literal bang. They’re all trying to figure what is actually happening. The mastermind clearly not the man they just took down in Luke Moran. Also loving how scruffy Tim is in this first shot of the premiere. The stubble all over that gorgeous jawline of his. Mmm. Delicious dusting. Love to break me off a piece. Wouldn't be a review if Feral Caitlin didn't make an appearance would it? ha God he's beautiful I can't help myself. This is his fault really.

Anyway back to matter at hand.... Lucy points out Luke may have been a patsy for the real crime. Diverting all their resources to this this one spot instead of their real target. Our girl always being the brains and Tim being impressed by it. They go hand in hand. You know that man loves her brain. Her intelligence is just one of many reason's he fell in love with her. Fun to watch her flex it I have to say.

There’s so much to love about these shots in the shop with them. The Metro call sign being one of them. It does things to me. It’s just sexy. Also the automatic way she’s paired with him in this moment. Like anyone else would be in that car with him but still. Ever the packaged deal. Just the little things I always love so very much. They don’t share shops anymore. So this is a treat. Riding together, brainstorming, and just being the bad ass team they always are in the field. Makes my shipper heart happy to see it.

After the Federal Reserve mayhem we skip 6 weeks into the future. I always wondered what happened in those six weeks with our ship. Probably nothing massive tbh. But be fun to know what shippy goodness could’ve occurred. I imagine they had some time off after that. Spent it together and decompressed from the madness. Just a nice thought to think about is all. *cough fic writers cough.*

We start off our cuteness with Lucy in Tim’s office studying. There’s so much to love about this scene it’s unreal. Let’s start with Lucy taking residency in his office like it’s hers. Knowing it’s a quiet place for her to retreat to. Also I’m sure Tim offered it up long ago for her. Which makes me giddy to no end. He’s not the least shocked that she’s using it. Only that she’s not out on patrol. Married status continues to level up in this moment.

Lucy explains she’s fallen way behind in her studies. OT is killing her atm. I can’t imagine how stressed she feels. Lucy is our resident academic. Not having the time to nerd out on her studies has to be killing her. It’s why she reaches out to her man for help. To pivot this in a different direction. Something that worked for Tim when he needed studying time. Asking if she could ride with him today? Could quiz her between calls.

Getting flashbacks to 2x02 when she helped him study between calls for his exam. I always love the callbacks they do for them. Continuity is ship crack for me. I eat it up. He accepts and Lucy is beaming. Their smiles in this scene are so adorable. Couldn’t be more in love if they tried tbh. I remember thinking how much I missed our idiots in love so much. I'll be this way for S7 too. I miss them.

Tim looks excited for this challenge. You can see it in his face above. But he is also letting her know how hard it’s going to be if she wants him to do this. That it’s probably not going to solve her problem. But he’s willing to expand her knowledge base on wildcards. This way she can take any curve balls Primm has to throw. Lucy’s smile is everything when she thanks him. Relieved her man is gonna help her her out. I mean of course he would. Nothing he wouldn't do for her and she knows it.

I remember seeing the funniest post for this moment before it aired. How it was her basically asking ‘Babe, please be mean to me.’ LOL Lord knows this woman is well aware he wasn’t gonna take it easy on her. Just like the old days. It's where she learned the most. So it makes sense she would wanna dip her toe back in that pool.

Tim is ready to roll. Starting his ‘boot’ engines back up. Don’t tell me it's not a little bit of a kink for Tim. That man is too damn excited to be able to boss her around again. That being said says she learns best when she’s pissed off. I mean he’s not wrong…No one knows how to teach her better than he does. Lucy counters by saying does she? Or is this is just giving him permission to be an ass?

Tim letting her know if that’s really how she feels she doesn’t actually want his help. Lucy backtracks and is desperate for him to guide her with this. Saying she needs it. Tim is lighting up like a Christmas tree. You know that man LOVES her needing him professionally. It’s been awhile since she has. He’s excited. Lucy has been a self sufficient cop for long time now. Hasn’t needed his guidance for quite some time. So for her to come to him with this he is a happy camper.

Tim is thrilled to put his T.O. hat back on for her. They have such married energy through out this scene. Lucy telling him she doesn’t like his excited smile. Tim deflecting saying it's just his smile haha The absolute wifey look she gives him is hilarious. They just be flirting freely in the hallways. Like they aren’t completely married at this point. Even though he’s driving her insane she follows him out with an 'in love' smile. She loves her ass of a boyfriend haha

They hit the road and Lucy is still questioning her decision. Oh my girl. Saying maybe should’ve chosen Harper or Lopez instead…Tim makes a joke how Angela just got back. Her cop brain is just booting up. Which earns a smile out of Lucy. She loves this man sitting next to her so very much. Written all over her face. Doesn’t take long before Tim triggers a Lucy rant though.

Poor man is just trying to help the woman he loves get through this. Wasn't expecting the time bomb he received. He sets her off by saying no matter who teaches her they all have the same database. That there’s only a 8 percent difference between ranks. This is what ignites the Lucy meltdown above. That Primm is going to use that eight percent to trip her up. His face above when she starts is priceless. Tim is just bracing for impact at this point LMAO Ain't no stopping what's coming his way.

The flood gates have opened and phew lord what a meltdown it is LOL Holy hell. She is the queen of them. I adore how Melissa can shoot off so much dialogue in one breath. It’s impressive af if you ask me. Also makes me cackle so much cause I’ve been her. So many times when I’m under immense stress I do the same. You prattle on until you run out of steam. I can’t believe there isn’t a gif set of this rant so I made one. It’s too good not to have in this review.

It’s the look on Tim’s face that has me ROLLING. It’s been awhile since he’s had an epic Lucy rant thrown at him and it shows. Eric the King of facial expressions is at it again. I’m laughing so damn hard. I remember having to pause cause I was laughing so much at his expression. He most definitely wasn't expecting the rant that he got. If you can look at him above and not laugh you're made of stone. Hang in there Tim lmao Your girl Is worth this intense stress/anxiety vomit she just spewed all over you. It's like he doesn't even know where to begin after she's done. So he just doesn't....

The married energy continues once Lucy has wrapped up her meltdown. Tim being the smart man he is doesn’t say a word. He’s learned a thing or two from this relationship. Lucy though takes his silence as saying everything for him. With her ‘Please don’t.’ Tim trying not to start anything telling her he’s said nothing. He truly wasn’t expecting the explosion he got. Was happy to be a passenger princess today, while he quizzed her through out the day. And instead got an epic freak out right out the gate.

Tim can’t win for losing in this scene. (or this episode really) Lucy telling him she hear him thinking it. I remember there being a Chenford Bingo of some sort before the premiere. And exasperated husband was on there. This delivered that in spades. His reaction after her saying this is gold. Haha This is the woman you’ve chosen to love Timothy. LMAO You know he loves her to death neuroses and all but good lord ha.

Their banter never fails to hit and the marriage vibes on top of this is top tier. I am here for it all damn day. One of those 'When did they get married again?' moments. His look at the end is like he’s chanting to himself . ‘You love this woman…you love this woman...’ Lucy tops it off saying she just won’t sleep till the exam. Leaving Tim to shake his head more and not say a word. Only look out the window as he rolls his eyes. Primo banter and chemistry here. *chef kiss*

They roll up to their first wildcard. I adore the Metro call sign as they do. Tim assigning the crime scene to Lucy as he does. *fans self* I can’t explain why the call sign so sexy. Just is. Also them sharing it on the scene also gets me all in my feels. Tim is telling her that he is there as a resource for her. But she is the one in charge. Asking her what’s her first move?

The Plain Clothes Day vibes are all over this scene and it's fantastic. Another callback I am so happy they touched on. Lucy confidently strides onto the scene and explains her move. Tim tells her to call it in. Love the way she looks at him the entire time she does. Tim asks her what else? This is where Lucy’s confidence starts to wain sadly.

Where that panicked rookie from all those years ago begins to resurface. The way she is talking at Tim trying to figure it out oh my lord. The PCD vibes are so strong. Only this time Tim is helping her out a lot more. Unlike back in S1 he was there to watch her flop around, second guess herself and drown. It’s much different this time around. He truly wants her to succeed and let's her know as much in his responses. Lucy doesn’t see that in this moment though unfortunately.

Tim telling her the obvious boxes are checked but what’s her wildcard? The spiraling is so real for her in this moment. It hurts to watch the anxiety build in Lucy. Tim testing her knowing she can do this but her confidence is eroding in this moment rapidly. He is trying to get her there faster by saying she doesn’t have a minute. Which she really doesn’t when we know how this scene ends…

One of my fav parts of this scene is the line above. The kindness and gentleness Tim has. Because he wasn’t in love with her during PCD like he is now. Here he is trying to be supportive and gently guide her to the answer. Even give her an out for it. S1 Tim never would’ve said there’s no shame in not knowing the answer. Not this directly anyways. Doing his damn best to support her through this. But also help her get to the answer so she learns. Lucy takes it the wrong way though.

Reason being it has nothing to do with the man next to her. That man would die first before not supporting her. Level headed Lucy would know that. Sadly she is not here with us at this crime scene. Who she really is mad at is herself at this point. Because she should know the answer and her brain is stalling out in this moment. Tim told her he wasn’t gonna take it easy on her. But breaks a little with his kind reply. Giving her an out if she wants it. Lucy can’t handle it though...Because she is being far harder on herself for this than Tim could ever be. I can relate so hard to this it's unreal.

I do love the way she says ‘Sergeant Bradford, please.’ Lucy feels like she’s suffocating in her own thoughts. The panicked rush to get this right and hitting a wall. The anger building towards Tim at the same time. The confidence she has built since S3 just melting away the more she stresses. All the while taking it out on Tim. Why you ask? Because in this moment she is projecting that anxiety and stress onto him with her reply. Defense mechanism thy name is Lucy Chen.

Doesn’t take long after that line for the sprinklers to come on….The wildcard revealing itself on its own. We watch as the evidence literally gets washed away and the bullet down the drain….Lucy rushes to chase it and watches as it goes down a storm drain. A reflection for how she feels about her hopes of passing this test…It’s a rough scene to watch unfold for her. The devastation on her face when she realizes that bullet is gone is very rough.

They return to the station and Lucy is as defeated as she can be. Hoping no one knows about it as as she rubs her tattoo. They start to play clown music as she enters. SMH. Tim trying not to laugh. Aaron doesn’t help when he also laughs at her misfortune. Not a good day for our girl….Lucy gets distracted by Wesley being there with the baby.

We get a small sweet departure from her anxiety in this moment. While she has him she wants his legal opinion on her crime scene. He too laughs. These men in her life are the worst right now. Not helping her building anxiety and loss of confidence. Wes telling her she fatally ruined that scene. That she’s gonna need a straight up confession to convict someone. And that’s only if she finds the killer…oof.

We rejoin our beautiful duo staking out the crime scene. Lucy grasping at straws to fix what she so royally screwed up. Her heightened state of spiraling continues on in this scene. Lucy admits she wants to skip the exam. Her face breaks my damn heart. Killing me here Melissa. I do love the way he says her first name in response. Still gets me he can. After years of Officer Chen and ‘boot.’ Just hits differently and makes my shipper soul happy.

Tim tells her she is ready. That man would not tell her she was ready if she wasn’t. Relationship or not that man doesn’t hold back. Wouldn't send her head long into failure. If Lucy was in a better place emotionally she would’ve heard him. Heard the confidence in his tone. Seen the empathy he was exuding for her. This man has changed so much in his time with her.

It sky rocketed when they got together. Tim couldn’t have been more supportive if he tried in this scene. Hell this entire episode. But she is so very stuck in her head. A place Tim could normally shake her loose from. A specialty of his really. He can’t gain an inch of ground in this scenario. Lucy has dug her heels in so to speak that she’s gonna fail. Nothing he says is getting through.

Our girl is experiencing massive amounts of anxiety and self doubt. The panic attack is real. The fact that the one person she would’ve sold her soul for, in order to get his support back in the day, isn’t getting through is a problem. Lucy goes on to say she knows herself. That if she takes this test right now she will fail. Her confidence will die along with it. That it’s better to wait. Tim steps from one minefield to the next with this convo.

When he once again is just trying to be supportive and says ‘Then wait.’ Not only is he being in her corner he gives her something she can do in meantime. Something he hates the idea of. Her going UC while she waits this anxiety/doubt out. If that isn’t him supporting her idk what is. He is also still learning how to be there for her emotionally and she isn't giving him the grace for that. Sadly Lucy isn't in the right mind to see that though. She is just stuck in the mode she's been trapped in all ep.

I get it I really do and empathize with her. I’m the same way when my emotions are in a heightened state. Nothing gets through. I'm frozen in place emotionalIy. I get very doom and gloom as well. Lash out at anyone who isn’t going to be positive and reassuring. Which Tim is doing his best to be. But Lucy is in such a dark state of mind she doesn’t see it. All she sees right now is he doesn’t believe in her and is kicking her while she is down. She needs reassurances right now. To her he isn't delivering that the way she is wanting at this point. Him agreeing with her that she should wait is only making matters worse.

Anxiety is a cruel cruel master. It makes you believe things that aren’t true. Amplifies them to the point that you’re so wound up you’re lashing out at everyone. Even your person. Which is exactly what’s happening with Lucy in this moment. Her accusing him of making it worse with how bad she already feels. When Tim is professing words of encouragement all she hears is him saying she can’t do it.

Tim is desperate for her to know he’s in her corner after this display. Asking her if she heard him? Lucy is distracted by someone showing up to the crime scene. Tim asks her what? Lucy replying that woman was looking at the crime scene while crying. Tim is so sassy in his reply I’m proud of him. ‘Or maybe she just had a frustrating fight with her girlfriend’ heh love this. Calling her his GF always gives me the feels.

Lucy gets a last minute win with this case. Catching this lady trying to get her bracelet back after tossing the gun. Her cop gut serving her well. Sadly Lucy doesn’t see this win as such and it bleeds into this final scene unfortunately. Once again the music is absolute perfection. I’ll post some of my fav lyrics at the end of my analysis of this fight. But first let us witness the incredible chemistry that is Eric and Melissa in this final portion. You know your ship is amazing when even their angst is lightning in a bottle goodness.

This fight I will say when I watched it originally excited me. Because it just showed they’re human. Real. The both of them. They make mistakes and aren’t perfect. How healthy this was for them to get off their chest. Because honestly the UC/detective tension has been building for a long while. This was the boiling point for it IMO. This scene hurt so good to watch. I rewound it a few times before I could process it the first time.

Tim starts off with congratulating her on her 4th quarter win. He’s genuinely so proud of her for bouncing back. Felt like she NEEDED this win. So he makes sure she knows. But like I said earlier Lucy isn’t viewing it that way. Her perception is more than a little skewed atm. Her building anger at Tim has reached it's peak. She is cold to him and brisk as hell. Tim immediately picking up on her clipped ‘Thanks.’ Like she was going to be able to hide her anger and frustration from him. Girl no. Tim asks her what? Lucy shrugging him off once again.

Tim pulls on her arm gently and parrots her own damn words back at her from 5x21. That they’re not gonna work if she’s going to lie to him. Lucy conceding immediately to that. I mean they have a lot to work on communication wise, but they’ve also come really far in this aspect too. Don’t wanna disregard that. Look at Tim confronting this right away and communicating effectively. There are causes for excitement with that growth. That being said they have a ways to go. This fight is proof of that.

Lucy pulls zero punches when she asks if he undermined her today so she wouldn’t make detective? The absolute look of hurt painted across his beautiful face kills me. As you all know I relate with Tim so very much. He is so deeply loyal and loving. That any of his motives are to help those he loves around him. He truly thought he was helping her out today. Being supportive and helpful. So for her to come at him like this is leaving him stunned and extremely hurt.

His person the one person who knows him better than anyone, accusing him of something he would never even fathom doing. I was hurt for him watching this. Last thing he would ever do would be to hinder her intentionally. Loyalty to a fault is having someone else hurt you first before you’d ever do the same. That’s Tim. It’s why he is so defensive the rest of this scene. And rightfully so. I'm proud of him telling her it upset him she would even think that of him. Because IMO he did not undermine her. That man did what was asked of him.

All of Lucy’s pent up anxiety, anger, and frustration comes out full force at Tim in this scene. And my boy didn't deserve it. I was on his side the first time I watched it and I am now. I didn’t see that changing though lol. Do I understand what Lucy is going through? Yes. Good god yes. I've been her. I feel so much for what she's going though. I want to make that very clear. But Tim didn't deserve this barrage against him. Wanna also note i’m so proud of the writers for tackling mental health from the jump with this season. Both our babies got issues and this was the precursor to the season really. We just had no idea at the time....

Lucy assumed all day he was undermining her. Instead of just confronting that fact she sat in it. Stewed in it really. ALL. DAMN. DAY. Which isn’t like her. She is the type to face it right away and voice that to Tim. But didn’t this time. Giving us a little taste of their communication problems early on this season. There’s that saying. 'When you assume you make an ass out of you and me.’ And by the end of this convo Lucy is feeling like an ass. I guarantee you that .

Lucy continues to dig herself a hole when she bring up that maybe it was "unconscious". Not deliberate but also that he couldn’t help it. Which doesn’t make Tim feel any better. Nor would it make me feel any better either tbh….Basically saying he has no control over things he does. Which just insult to injury at this point for him. Then Lucy goes for her next punch below. One I still feel was unfairly delivered.

Does Tim still carry those issues? Of course he does. 100% that is still a weight on him. It’s reflected in the next ep when the subject of UC comes up. But does it belong in this fight with him? No. It has zero place in it. But like I said before she is feeling a loss of control and confidence in herself. So she is projecting her insecurities and feelings onto Tim. By bringing up his and using them to stabilize hers. It's a low blow she is dispatching to him.

She is running from her own feelings about this. She is also protecting herself by making it about Tim and his problems. (Which he has for sure) Because she isn’t ready to face the fact that she’s afraid of UC and all that will come with it. How being a detective on top of it is going to pull her from him even more.

She voiced these concerns in 5x19 when she was originally studying for her exam. It’s easier for her right now to hide in and blame Tim for his problems, than deal with her own right now. Tim’s reaction is so valid in this moment. Because to him all he did was have her back from the jump. He is feels sucker punched by this explosion and it's written all over his reaction.

Lucy asked him to help her. He did. Even told her it wouldn’t be easy and he wouldn’t be soft on her. She accepted the terms of this situation willingly. Tim supported her best he could through her meltdown. Did his damndest to not comment on it. He knows it’s her process to spiral a bit then right herself. Because he knows her so well. He had her back in trying to help figure out her wildcard. She rejected it and drowned.

Tim was calm and kind even if she didn’t recognize it about the exam. When she was doubting herself he built her up letting her know she can do it. Did his best to be in her corner if she truly felt she wasn’t ready. Then congratulated her when she got her case win. To Tim all that was him having her back.

It’s why he’s so blindsided and hurt by her words. Lucy is basically kicking him while he down in this moment and it hurt to watch. Because her anxiety and immense stress has blinded her. Making her act so very not like herself. She came at him with a one-two punch. First punch accusing him of undermining her and second being an unfair Isabel punch.

The K.O. punch really is him reading her face above. The way she looks at him when he says ‘But if you can’t see that then…’ Doesn’t even finish his sentence. He can read her just as well as she can read him. Lucy cannot see that right now. Too clouded by her extreme anxiety and stress to see him and his intentions clearly. So he ejects out of the convo. She has knocked him down for the count.

Tim can’t take the way she is looking at him right now. The way she is making him feel. Tim has always held how she viewed him in high regard. Nothing means more to him than what she thinks of him. So for her to level him with this is heartbreaking for him. So he reverts back to old Tim and clams up. Tells her he’s tired and for them to take the night off. Then walks away from her with no way for her to retort.

Lucy is a block of ice until this line of his. She was fully expecting him to apologize and go home with her. And he did not. He ejected out of the conversation to go lick his wounds. The look of shock on her face is everything. She wasn’t expecting that at all. You can see the panic on her face. That raw panic of her being left behind by him. Of Tim leaving her. The tears building in her eyes as he does this. Oh the painful foreshadowing that is this moment…..

The lyrics for this scene are so poignant and perfect. As is the entire musical lineup for this season. Perfectly encompasses Lucy in this episode and especially this scene. Here are some of my favs.

‘I think I’m losing my mind. I see you’re losing your light. Drowning out the decibels. Do you wanna find the antidote? Trying to watch my obstacles, see how fully I’ve been broke.’ Lucy is so broken in this episode and doesn’t reach out to the one person, her person to help fix her. She was drowning and went to him for the antidote and then refused it the entire time. Then gets consumed by it all.

Just a glaring look into how they both deal with being emotionally overwhelmed and vulnerable. And it’s not a good look for either of them this season tbh. But we start out with Lucy’s where I side with Tim before we go head long into Tim’s and I side with Lucy it's balanced at least lol. Damn good premiere though. I was buzzing with excitement after it.

As always thank you to anyone who read this. To all the likes, comments and or reblogs I may receive you are the best. I shall see you all in 6x02 :)

Side notes-Non Chenford

~~~~

Scruffy Tim in this ep has my ovaries in overdrive. Mmm just wanna nom on his jawline like corn on the cob.

Nyla Harper being a bad ass in a tense situation is primo. Can always count on her. The aftermath sucks for her though.

Angela being more excited to see a burrito than her husband is hilarious and so on brand haha

Main baddie gets eliminated at the end of the ep. Not sure I remember why tbh haha Things got hazy at the end of the season for me with the SL.

[isa-ghost]

*places down some money*

Phil headcannons please

*eats the coins whole*

Other qPhil headcanons

He means it 1000% when he says he'd burn the entire island to the ground for the kids. No building would be safe. Not even his own. All bets would be off. And if one of the other parents would do the same for their kid? He'd be right there with them.

He loves every egg, dead and alive alike. He has no clue what any of them think of him, and tbh he'd probably be overly humble or vaguely negative abt it bc he's just so shitty to himself when it comes to image related things, thinking they probably find him weird or smth. But he loves them all, and even if any of the eggs DO have a negative opinion of him, he'd still shed blood sweat and tears for them.

GUYS PLEASE THIS IS CANON BUT he is SO BAD at picking up on certain things if not explicitly told. If you have an issue with bird man you have to TELL HIM. He has a million other things on his mind and he has survival brain on by default which means several other things are taking up brainspace, he doesn't have the means to be looking for subtle signs someone isn't happy with him. FUCKING COMMUNICATE WITH HIM!!

Idk I just think Fit, Pac & Mike should convince him to get high with them. But I can't tell if I want to say he'd actually chill out for once & get a lil goofy or if he'd be the type that gets super anxious & hates every second he's stoned

Has a manga collection. It's not that big series-wise, he's a completionist so his collection is big bc he collects every volume of a series he's interested in. He has all of Bleach ofc, most of Chainsaw Man, probably 1-3 other series. He's preoccupied with other things usually so he hasn't read any of them in ages, but Chayanne has been going WILD reading them when he's not out and about

He gets sluttier when he's drunk. That confidence boost he gets when he's drunk enough goes places. Particularly when he's around Fit (Fit's a bad influence /pos)

Tbh? If his usual civil disobedience and the like don't work, I would not put it past him to follow Cellbit's example and just start killing Feds. I don't know how canon Phil's past is but if this is the man who helped create the Antarctic Empire or the man that leveled an entire country? Quesadilla Island's days are numbered and it will be Specifically to spite Cucurucho and any other Fed that's responsible for whatever Phil has an issue with. All it takes is taking his kids away again or hurting his friends :)

Fr tho if/when he finds out what they did to Jaiden or Baghera or anyone of the other islanders? He WILL be unleashing hell for them.

He's ready at all times to die for someone. The goal is to Not die, but if it comes to it, better him than them. And in classic hypocritical Phil fashion, he vehemently refuses to allow anyone to do the same for him. The survivor's guilt would be too much for him.

Outwardly, he processes grief and stress with humor. Because if he doesn't, he'll shut down emotionally and mentally. But don't think for a second that internally, he's a wreck. He's angry, he's in pain, he's stressed, he's conflicted, he's grieving. He just won't let anyone know he is. He doesn't like admitting it.

That said, GOD do hugs and random acts of kindness during tough/dark times get him. It's a hit straight to the heart. He'll get emotional before he can stop it or mask it. They mean more than anything, and they're the quickest way to make him realize just how much shit he's shouldering and bottling up.

Currently his greatest fear is the Federation finding out about or asking him questions related to Ender King. Normally he'd at least prepare how to answer such questions. In this case he has no clue what to say, which really stresses him out. And he knows fleeing the conversation wouldn't go well.

He doesn't typically do anything special with his hair but goddamn it looks good in a short braid. He only ever does smth with his hair for certain events, like Festa Junina. And that was mostly because Lullah insisted.

If the Federation one day declared every islander needed some kinda career for whatever weird reason, Phil's would be photography.

Don't listen to his complaining. He REALLY likes that there's so many birds around the house. Prefers them outside but he likes them around regardless.

[littlestardescendants]

So yalls were curious how Munira would interact with her Potential Half Demon Sibling so I decided to write another long ass essay for yalls to get into it.

(Warning it may get a touch dark but let's go!!!)

First is Sathara:

How Munira Takes the News: Now to preface this, yall should remember Mirjami and Satan probably were super affectionate and loving to each other so hearing the news makes Munira timid or scared that Satan won't want her when her little sister is born (Which we all know Satan would be there to assure her, I imagine he's the most affectionate/present dad she's had in a long time). However after this she takes the news pretty well and is excited to be a big sister, I imagine she helps Mirjami with everything or constantly asks the other nobles/Satan how she can be a good sister and the whole process runs smoothly. When Sathara is born, I imagine those warm feelings get exacerbated as she's so happy to have a little sister. They just immediately bond.

Their Childhood: And come childhood, Sathara and Munira would be very close. Sathara is probably the more emotional/reactive sister but she looks up to Munira and is always attached to her constantly being like "My sister!!" Whenever anyone gets near her. Sathara is like her dad she just loves hard and is so passionate about it. Of course they're sisters they're gonna have their squabbles but Munira looks out and protects Sathara from everything. Honestly Sathara probably thinks Munira can scare the Angels because of it.

Upbringing and Adulthood: Of course as they grow up I imagine they stay close. Sathara is the first person Munira tells about her asexuality and Sathara safeguards that secret to the grave even fighting with Satan if he tries to inquire about it (Because I mean on one hand he doesn't like Munira's suitors but on the other the 'No sex' thing freaks him out because he doesn't want her dying. They get to an arrangement eventually but Sathara was hissy about it the whole time). Munira is Sathara's rock. She loves her sister immensely and Sathara is at the point where her Wrath can be worse than Satan's if Munira is hurt. All around the girls got each other's backs no matter what.

Ranking their Closeness: Out of 5 blue circles I'd have to rank them: 🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🟡🟡🟡 - This many out of 5.

They're just super close and always best friends. Like tbh they got the unbreakable sister bond and I imagine it makes Mirjami and Satan thrilled because their kids are happy. Even if Gehenna's chaos took a bit getting used to.

Next is Munira and Maymum:

How Munira Takes the News: Now for Maymum, it was a bit different. Munira was already won over by Mammon spoiling her but when she finds out Mirjami is pregnant she's scared. It's sort of the same fear, she thinks Mammon would prefer her younger Sibling over her but as we know Mammon wouldn't be like that too much. Once she's assured she is very supportive of Mirjami constantly wanting to help her and when Mirjami stresses about the pregnancy and has difficulty carrying Maymum, she's the one to help ground her mother, giving her the strength to carry to term and do everything she can so her new brother is brought into the world. It works and Munira is so proud to hold him after.

Their Childhood: So growing up, Munira and Maymum were fiercely close, I imagine Maymum was a very fragile baby but Munira took alot of care and helped with raising him and as they grew Maymum became attached to her, following her around or always following her move good or ill. Both were spoiled but I imagine Maymum was greedy for his sister's time and only calmed down when she made him that bear, a toy he'd carry everywhere to feel close. The two were just best friends with Maymum always looking up to her.

Upbringing and Adulthood: Of course, as they grow up, the closeness is still there but I imagine Munira had to set boundaries because Maymum was just always wanting to be with her, never time for herself. It took them a bit to get it down as Maymum was terrified of loss in any way but the two are still very attached and Munira gets very audibly pissed whenever she hears anyone take advantage of Maymum. Especially since he's still a bit naive on reading between the lines.

Ranking their Closeness: Out of 5 they'd have gotten a well meaning- 🔵🔵🔵🔵🔴 - They're close I imagine the only issue is Maymum's overattachment but all around they just get along.

Now is Livya (Warning it gets a touch dark from here)

How Munira Takes the News: So I'm not gonna mince words. The only way Mirjami would get pregnant with Leviathan's child is if he cornered, coerced, and baby trapped her and now stuck with him, Munira would see Mirjami's mental state isn't great. Mirjami would sort of withdraw as a mother and it'd leave Munira in the care of Hades Demons and Leviathan which she Dislikes so throughout the pregnancy Munira is helping Mirjami but also begging for her mother to come back. It doesn't get easier however as Mirjami has postpartum depression and sort of detaches from life sort of just going through the motions and sitting there leaving Munira to raise her new sister.

Their Childhood: Now in childhood it gets harder for Munira; Mirjami is still depressed and sort of gave up on life just staring out the window, Leviathan gets jealous of any time Munira spends with Livya and Munira has taken the role as "mother" for her as Livya grows up aware that Mirjami doesn't want her. It's very difficult as I imagine Leviathan raised Livya mostly and before long Livya also becomes depressed because in a way she knows she's unwanted, and is so desperate for Mirjami's attention, she accidentally almost drowns in her bathtub desperate for attention. Munira saves her but this is sort of the mark that shows how much Livya needs her and Leviathan eventually allows them to be close since Livya almost died for her mother's attention.

Upbringing and Adulthood: Following this incident, it doesn't get easier. Mirjami either dies from strangulation or just continues to withdraw and in that time Munira raises Livya, their closeness becoming a dependence as Munira cannot live her life without Livya with her and Livya's mental state is still very fragile, the girl often scratching her face or breaking her horns out of anxiety and unhappiness. She feels so much Envy and it's suffocating as she envies Munira but also doesn't want to lose her and being raised by Leviathan and following his perfect footsteps makes her constantly insecure and anxious of herself, only able to calm down being with Munira. It's sort of like the cycle gets repeated with the two: Leviathan ensnared Mirjami and Livya ensnared Munira, there is no escape from this codependence.

Ranking their Closeness: Out of 5 circles they get a: 🔵🔵🔵🔵🔵🟡🟡🟡🟡🟡🟡🟡 - But the yellow isn't like Munira and Sathara. The two are enmeshed together, Munira is so protective and had to grow up fast for Livya and Livya is heavily dependent on Munira to survive. There is no life without the other.

Next we got Baal:

How Munira Takes the News: Now just gonna preface this one with the fact that after knowing Beel a bit Munira doesn't like him; She thinks he's weird and his smelling Mirjami freaks her out so hearing Mirjami is pregnant with his son she's confused while her mother would do that. She still supports Mirjami but I imagine when Beelzebub wanders off or leaves and checks in she gets progressively irritated the 5 yr old snapping at him as she tries to take over the role of caring for Mirjami with him so in and out.

Their Childhood: Now with Baal born Munira promised to take care of him but it's hard to do so because he's hyperactive playful and gets her in trouble, Munira taking the role to help Mirjami with him even with the difficulty. The resentment for Beel festers but Munira is really considered the "good child" always doing good and making things right while Baal is the "wild child" often running around and getting in trouble. Their Childhood is filled with Baal getting in trouble while Munira gets him out of it and it doesn't get easier.

Upbringing and Adulthood: Now growing up the two grow up very different. Munira is the person who's responsible with good grades and a set plan while Baal grows up wandering like his father with no care in the world except for Munira and Mirjami but that's it. Both actually bond on their resentment to Beel and it becomes a sort of dynamic where Munira is constantly criticizing Baal for his lax life while Baal hates that Munira is always a "hard ass" for his lifestyle. The two live very separately but are also close where it counts. It's just their lifestyles are different.

Ranking their Closeness: To rank their Closeness, I'd have to say they're a: 🔵🔵🔵🔴🔴 - Not exactly close but they're not too bad. I see them as the most neutral since it's hard for Munira to get close since Baal is so irresponsible and carefree. Different energies honestly.

And lastly Noctiel

How Munira Takes the News: Now I've always read the dynamic as Mirjami being more in love with Lucifer than he is with her. Not to be mean just how I've always seen it but for Munira I imagine she was scared of Lucifer so finding out Mirjami was pregnant made her scared. She tried to support her mother but it was difficult as whenever Lucifer walked into the room she squealed and hid from him which made the pregnancy interesting. I think Munira didn't mind the news but was nervous through it all and for good reason since a child between a human and an angel like Lucifer would probably too intense. Even with Gamigin reviving her I don't see Mirjami able to survive having Noctiel. So Munira gets a brother but loses her mother.

Their Childhood: Following Mirjami's passing and Noctiel's birth I can't help but see their Childhood as nothing short of tragic. Munira is devastated to lose her mother, in grief and I imagine Lucifer is just disillusioned making Noctiel's childhood very lonely. I imagine he attaches himself to Munira but Munira is in grief and homesick. She now lost her mother permanently and wants to go back to the Human world with her father while resenting Noctiel partly for stealing her mother away. Their Childhood is pretty much spent with Noctiel desperately wanting to know about Mirjami and be close with Munira and her wanting him to stay away while mourning and missing her life in the human world. She's the last human descendant of Solomon and both just have a very lonely existence.

Upbringing and Adulthood: Growing up it gets easier but is still not the same, Munira stops blaming Noctiel for their mother's death and realizes she needs to be there but struggles because Noctiel grows up with no place. He's not heaven, hell, nor human and he feels like a Nothing. I imagine Lucifer had disassociated but his care for his children sort of helps them as Noctiel just isn't sure of his place and for a long time Munira is spending her time helping him since she realizes Mirjami would want her to help her Sibling and not be attached. They both are still learning to be close after years of isolation and misplaced emotions.

Ranking their Closeness: Unfortunately their Closeness is a low; 🔵🔴🔴🔴🔴 - They're just not there. They spent years where Munira isolated and pushed Noctiel away and now as adults they'll try but I imagine it's hard because Noctiel still feels out of place or like he belongs nowhere. Munira's support helps ground him but honestly they're a long way from feeling like a family

Anyways there we go any questions lemme know!

[reds-writings]

Hey!!! I wanted to start this out by saying that your writings for Rust has been nothing short of amazing ! There aren't enough fics out there for Rust, and yours have honestly been getting me through it.

Now, idk if this is the type of ask you were looking for, but with Old Man Rust, especially when he was in Alaska all that time- I've always wondered the details about his time out there (besides the obvious/what we already know). I mean- it's Rust we're talking about, and that poor tortured man...it couldn't have been great.

I know he spent most of his childhood up there alone with his father and such, but this time around? After everything happened? I've always assumed his self-isolation was probably at the highest it'd ever been, especially with how he talked about it.

Idk- I've always wanted to know his thoughts/feelings about so many different scenes/things within the show, but this is definitely one of the biggest ones. Even if you relate it to the jj universe- I think adding a partner adds layers to my curiosity on his experience/thoughts/feelings. I know when you answered that fluff prompt ask, them being away from each other for all that time was talked about; he still loves her very much, and is incredibly troubled about all of it.

Anyways! I feel like I've gotten a bit carried away, so I'll stop before I keep going 💀. You definitely don't need to feel obligated to respond or spend time on this, but know that your contribution to the true detective community on here is greatly appreciated 🥺.

Howdy! I love this ask!! The more detailed the more fun! And thank you so much for the love ahhh!!

(this will include some spoilers ahead for the JJ universe pls don't kill me lol)

I love the dissection of Rust's reasoning for returning to Alaska, of all places, after the big fight of 02. My fave idea being that he did it as a form of self-punishment for taking part in hurting his only companions in Louisiana. Applying these events to the JJ universe: the incident with Maggie will still be taking place sadly. But hear me out!!!!

In 02 with the resurgence of the Yellow King/Carcosa Rust easily found himself obsessively spiraling back into the Dora Lange case. With all the frustration and lack of support from the department (and Marty), he resorts back to nastier habits and ways of regarding those around him with JJ!Reader unfortunately being in the crossfire more often than not. It places a heavy strain on the relationship to the point where she reaches a breaking point bc tbh he is not being a very good partner at all (stress and frustration can only be an excuse for so long). They break up with her telling him to practically get it together if he wants them to ever continue but of course, shit just spirals more out of control with his hurt and anger so of course it reaches its crescendo with him having to quit then Maggie using their incredible emotional vulnerability to an advantage which he ends up regretting immediately of course because even if he's not currently with JJ!Reader it's no less of a pathetic form of betrayal.

When the fight goes down and he loses Marty it's one thing. Seeing the reader and the tie between them being severed completely with no one else but himself to blame is just about as close to dying as he'll get in that moment. He shit on her trust once and for all and took a friend from her in the process. He knows that there can be no forgiveness even if he were to beg with whatever last bit of reverence he had or sell his sorry soul.

Alaska is a bitterly lonely time for him and from tidbits he mentions in the show he didn't do much to change that loneliness while he was away. Circling back to before I think it was his way of extreme penance and if it weren't for another resurgence in the case he would've probably let himself die there alone with all the drinking/carelessness and wouldn't have had it in him to feel sorry about it if it happened.

Coming back to Louisiana things have changed plenty with Marty, Maggie, and the reader. I think the way he prioritizes his crumbled relationship with Marty (for both the case's sake and his) versus how he passively regards Maggie in the bar will forever be interesting to me. I feel like he'd be scared as hell to even come near the reader knowing she still harbors hatred and pain but Marty the Meddler drags her back in because he knows the two will never be able to truly stay away from each other. It takes a lot and the relationship may never be exactly what it once was but he'd selfishly rather have her near in some capacity than never at all once he's gotten a taste of her presence after so many years. I can't wait to write all that angst and yearning bc we love tension 🤭

Now that was a ramble omg! Hopefully, I didn't stray too off course!

[blush-and-books]

Apologies if you already answered this, but I’m curious what you think Donna and Harvey’s wedding is like in Seattle. What’s her dress like? Where did they get married? What was their song?? Was Jessica there?? I feel like they could have thrown us a short epilogue at least 😩

Hi babes!! I answered a similar question about Donna and harvey's life in Seattle here, but let's talk about the wedding pt 2.

Firstly, I sort of expect them to have their real wedding on the East Coast still, since that is where most of their family is. They kinda feel like they'd have a chill, but classy, wedding at Martha's Vineyard or a similar place that is less touristy/widely known. If they were to get married in Seattle, they'd most likely either do it in the city at the Fairmont Olympic Hotel!! If they wanted to get out of the city they would go to the San Juan Islands or something and have their wedding at a hotel by the water.

I'm tempted to say Donna wouldn't wear a white dress, but also she looks so good in white when she wears it on the show so I kinda think she might lmao. Jessica is absolutely there and Rachel obviously would be too as maid of honor!! Jessica makes a toast at the reception actually. Like she's known these crazies for over a decade and has watched them dance around each other, she deserves some last words about it lmao.

I have No Idea what their song is lol. Probably a romantic jazz song tbh!! The reception music is definitely a lot of jazz and the vibes are really good. It's low lighting, kinda deco, very chill but elegant. There are flowers EVERYWHERE!!! That's probably what Donna stresses about the most tbh is the flowers. I just know in my gut she was pulling her hair out about the perfect arrangements and how big they should be on the tables vs at the entries etc. I seriously doubt anything else stressed her out as much as that did. Harvey actually also is pretty involved and once they mutually decide on food/color scheme and stuff he is the one scheduling the caterers and whatnot and it is definitely not all on Donna's shoulders. They try hiring a wedding planner and soon fire them bc they both have a hard time handing over that much responsibility to a stranger.

uuuhhh other little things:

one of marcus's daughters is the flower girl

jim walks donna down the aisle but still kinda glares at harvey as he does it and harvey just smiles lmao

MOST IMPORTANT THING ACTUALLY: harvey, in his vows, tells donna "you had me at hello" which is a reference to the film Jerry Maguire. Harvey canonically loves this movie and I curse God every day for not having him make this reference bc it just would have been perfect for them??? fuck his gambling analogy i wanted movie quotes!!

anyways yes thank you for this ask this is so fun to think about!!!! <3333

[caramel-demon-on-bike]

☆彡 HEADCANONS AND AU STUFF ミ★

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ok! So as I said this is my little Metal Family ships ranking! All I will say now are my headcanons. you can disagree with them, just remember to not being rude just because someone likes something you don't like!

Main Characters + my oc!

Glam x Victoria - one of my favorite ships! I think they fit together perfectly! I love love love them <3 10/10

Glam x Chive - I think they may had some small romantic relationship in the past. But it's not what I would call a permanent relationship. ( tbh I have a small headcanon that Chive and Glam could flirt with each other when they are drunk lol.) I like them together but prefers their relationship more as brothers/best friends! 6/10

Chive x Victoria - whaaaat..? No, it wouldn't work lmao 0/10

Chive x Anna - naaaaah,, :/ I don't like this ship. I see them as good friends + I think Anna prefers girls. In my headcanon Chive may have flirted with her at beginning but nothing more came of it. Just best friends! 0/10

Victor x Chive (oc x canon ship!) - so basically it's my otp, what can I say about them. I don't think anyone here knows much about this ship because Victor is my oc but I will try to describe you more this ship. When I was creating Victor I wanted to combine opposites! Victor is often stressed and Chive would help him chill out. I think they would complement each other. In my AU Victor would also help Ches out of addiction at the beginning. I just really like this ship. 10/10

Anna x Victoria - it's an interesting ship to be honest. I think like with Glam x Chive there may have been a closer relationship at first but then it turned into a platonic friendship + I think victoria is straight lol. 3/10

Anna x Glam - whaaaaat? 0/10

Dee x Heavy (proship) - NO. -100/10 pls don’t, it should be illegal!!

Dee/ Heavy x Glam/ Vicky/ Anna/ Ches/ anyone over 18 (proship) - HELL NAHHH. If someone ships this, I'll find that person. <•>_<•> -1000/10

Dee x Lif - Cute! I like their relationship it's sweet how Dee tries to impress her! I hope they can be canonically together :> 9/10

Heavy x Lif - I’m so sorry… but they fit so perfect together too…. I'm undecided whether I prefer Dee x Lif or Heavy x Lif (I’m so sorry Dee) 9/10

Dee x Diana - I think she has a crush on him but he doesn't care LMAOOO. But they would be interesting together. 4/10

Heavy x Diana - I don't know what to think about this ship. It wouldn't be a long relationship 3/10

Bob x Lordy - Just best friends! 1/10

Glam x Lydia (proship) - ._. No. Pls no. 0/10

Gustav x Mary - poor Mary.. :( toxic af 0/10

Gustav x Roft - slay. 10/10/j

Chive x Donuts - canon ship. 100000/10/j

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Other probable ships with my oc!! (AU)

Victor x Glam - I don't think they fit together. I see them as best friends. In my AU Victor and Glam would take care of Ches in his hard times, which could bring them together in friendship! 0/10

Victor x Victoria - nahhh same thing as with glam, only best friends! Btw In my AU Victor would have a better relation with Victoria than Ches (because, you know, she would often get nervous at Ches) 0/10

Anna x Victor - Nahhh, they don't like each other in my AU lol. 0/10

Dee/ heavy x Victor (proship) - NO. Pls don’t ship this,, -10/10

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If you have any questions feel free to ask! I would also like to know your opinion about Metal Family ships!

Have a nice day!

[oc-cinematic-universe]

Hiiiii :3

Since I'm thinking about the Joe and Dara mermaid au (for no particular reason) I wanted to do ask games you rebloged (the most recent one)

For mermaid Joe:

5, 10, 12, 29, 41

For Dara:

1, 11, 25, 29, 35

(Feel free to pick and choose if this is too many)

hiii thank you so much for asking sorry its taken me a bit i haven't been thinking <3

5. Can they cry on command? If so, what do they think about to make it happen?

Absolutely. He starts thinking about how awesome the world is and then he starts sobbing like a baby

10. What fact do they excitedly tell everyone about at every opportunity?

"Did you know shells used to have creatures in them did you know that the shells have animals in them and then the animals are gone and you get shells you can keep it's so cool isn't that awesome sometimes i pick up shells and there's guys still in them and it scares me really bad but it's really cool i just gotta wait for them to leave their house before i can take it and then i can keep it"

12. What’s something that makes them laugh every single time? Be specific!

Oh anything, he's super giggly it really does not take a lot. He would fucking love puns he'd lose his mind over wordplay it'd be so fucking cool and then he'd try to make a pun himself but he's laughing too hard to get it out and when he can finally say it it's not even an actual pun

29. How do they respond when someone doesn’t believe them?

He just gets really confused. Like ??? why wouldn't they believe him??? If they're just trying to tell him he misunderstood something he doesn't know very well then that's ok he likes learning new things, but if they just don't believe him and don't give a good reason he just doesn't understand. He hasn't figured out what lying is yet he has no reason to think anyone would have a reason to not believe him. If they continue to not believe him he gets really fucking mad because how can you be this fucking stupid he already TOLD YOU

41. What phrases, pronunciations, or mannerisms did they pick up from someone / somewhere else?

Well, he picked up a lot of stuff from Dara and her crew, they are the first people he's ever met as far as he knows. And he doesn't really . know? A lot of things? So a lot of stuff he knows now was through them, so there's a lot of influence on the way he speaks and acts. As for the rest of it..... he...... doesn't remember

.1. What’s the lie your character says most often?

Dara's actually not that much of a liar in this AU which is pretty wild for her tbh but she doesn't have much reason to be. She mmmight try keeping Joe a secret from people not part of the crew just cause it makes her so stressed out already she's trying to keep it under control in some kind of way? But there's no reason for her to actually be doing that and it's probably not a lie that kept up for very long anyways because Joe refuses to stay hidden when someone new is around he's like a dog he needs to say HIIII HI OMG HIIIIII

11. If someone was impersonating them, what would friends / family ask or do to tell the difference?

Hrm,,,, y'know I'm not sure. Her crew would be able to tell pretty easily I think, Dara's a complicated enough person and her mannerisms don't vary too much so I think they'd just. They'd know. I don't know if Joe would be able to tell, if she was acting weird he'd be confused but wouldn't really say anything, he'd just think he missed something

25. What subject / topic do they know a lot about that’s completely useless to the direct plot?

Probably knitting tbh. She already knits as a hobby in canon, I can see her going even harder on it in the AU

29. How do they respond when someone doesn’t believe them?

She just won't bring it up again. If it's related to something that like, needs to be fixed or otherwise dealt with, she'll handle it on her own and just be discreet about it. Like oh ok you can't be trusted with this information. And then she leaves

35. What is the smallest, morally questionable choice they’ve made?

Well. She is a pirate. Which involves a LOT of morally questionable decisions. Like murder. But the smallest one she's made was probably just letting Joe be part of the crew when they "first" met. Cause that was pretty fucking motivated by selfish means (seeing the similarities between him and her probably-dead loved one and knowing this would fuck her up and knowing she only is doing this because she needs to know if it's him) but it did also make him really fucking happy until she started really digging into him about his missing memories so it wasn't like it was a bad decision. It just. Yknow. Was a small lil domino that she thought maybe wouldn't knock anything else over. And then it did

[what-the-monkey]

Let me preface this by saying AOS will always be in my top 10 kdramas of all time. It truly made me feel so many things, happiness, but mostly anxiety and stress. I don't think I've ever been more obsessed with a kdrama, which is why I need to put all my feelings down so that I can move on from this show. I am well aware that writers/directors cannot satisfy everyone and there's a lot of factors that influence the final outcome of the drama. But I just wanted to talk about the good parts and the bad parts as well as what I selfishly wanted to see. This is going to be all over the place, tbh.

First of all, my love for these characters and actors/actresses is truly unhinged. This is the first time I've seen any of them in a drama and I'll probably follow all of their careers for the rest of my kdrama life.

I think Jung Somin (JSM) and Go Younjung (GYJ) both did amazingly. They were different characters (but also the same) that did great with what they had. Not gonna lie, I was very worried about GYJ before S2 aired (this being her first lead role, her being a rookie, that she had never done romance before this, trying to follow JSM, etc. etc.) but she truly exceeded my expectations. Lee Jaewook (LJW) is my boy and it's hard to believe that he's only 24 years old. Shin Seung-ho and Yoo Insoo will always be in my heart and they're so funny and goofy (in real life especially) and I love them. Hwang Minhyun wasn't my favourite character, but the interactions of all of the actors in real life just makes my heart so warm. They're so cute!

I always have strong feelings towards writers when it comes to any type of show and I tend to feel the most hate towards them. Like do they not have moderators that go "oh, this is shit and doesn't make sense, please revise"? It always feels sad when the story that they've developed for years and the characters that we hold so dearly don't reach their potential. But as I said before these are my own selfish feelings.

Fantasy/romance genre is my absolute favourite. The further from reality the better and romance (when done well) just feeds my soul like no other. Fortunately/unfortunately fantasy has a lot of potential for world building and story telling. So where the kdrama fell flat was the plot, pacing and world building.

This drama had 30 episodes and they had multiple filler episodes that could've been used to flesh out the magical world and the dominant families and how they came to be. I loved ukiedoekie and ukyeong (my fav, tbh), but they could've given some of the other actors more screentime to better the plot.

The questions I have are: was the plan always to have Go Younjung come back? Because season 2 makes you question whether they even wanted her there. What happened with Jung Somin? Why did she not even have cameos in season 2, when clearly she should have? If it was just scheduling issues, then I kind get it, but she made that insignificant cameo when they could've made her do young Jin Buyeon's role, because it doesn't make sense that the 10 year old was there. Was the budget less for S2 than S1? Could they not afford JSM for S2 so they had to rewrite stuff? I just feel like the show really lacked cohesion in S2 and it shows and I'm trying to come up with excuses as to why. I loved Naksu/JBY/CY and how GYJ portrayed her, but the storyline and how they went about her character makes me question everything.

I do not like how they under utilized the female characters in this show. Jin Cho Yeon was just there. It's crazy to me that she was part of the oh so great "four seasons", for what?

Jang Uk (JU) and Mudoek were portrayed very well by the respective actors, I think they were great. But I wonder whether in interviews and press stuff whether it was a PR thing to not have them interact or make you feel anything when they're together (because they knew that LJW would be endgame with GYJ) so that the fans wouldn't get even more attached to them. Or did they not really "like" each other that much outside of their work or maybe their age gap was too significant? I put "like" in quotations because from the BTS videos they were always professional and pleasant with each other. I was sad when NO ONE from the AOS cast showed up to JSMs movie premier and no one really posted about her when the show wrapped for S2, except Yoo Insoo, that sweetheart.

LJW and GYJ are a whole other story. Their chemistry was extremely apparent on screen and in real life. I think they're the cutest and you can clearly see how much they care for each other and respect each other. If they were trying to distract the viewers from the plot with kissing scenes and on screen chemistry then it kinda worked, but I see you.

Naksu, Naksu, Naksu. That opening fight scene was the biggest clickbait I've ever seen in my entire life. I loooooove physically strong female leads that can fight with the boys and hold their own physically. Please see that I'm saying physically, because obviously emotionally or mentally strong is inferred. So to say I was sad that we never truly got to see that again is an understatement. In S2 I get why they ended it how they ended it, but if Naksu/Cho Yeong (CY) was never going to use her mage powers they could've fleshed out the priestess powers to make the ending more satisfying. (See earlier note about budget or them making JU look the strongest at the expense of the female character.)

I would've like to see JU and CY seeing each other when they found out that they could be together forever. Even if it was just them looking at each other from a far. (I just know that their micrexpressions would've slapped) I wish we got more interactions with all of the actors together. I wish that the final scene was them hunting a relic in Daeho and all the village people in awe of the power couple and seeing the faces of their friends and family knowing that they're home. That would've been cute. If they made half of season 2 about them hunting relics, I would've been so happy. I hate that they never cleared Naksu's name. Does the main cast know that she's Naksu or are they still lying to people? That's something that should've been cleared up. I also feel sad about Danggu and Mudoek's relationship that never got closure, because they were besties in S1. I would've also like to see more of Cho Yeon and Naksu's relationship, it was eluded to in one of the episodes that Cho Yeon is aware that Jin Buyeon is Naksu and she still treated her like her sister, which I found very endearing. So I would've like to see them being chosen sisters instead of just blood sisters. I quite like how they never bother to mention to JU that GYJs face is Naksu's original face, like they don't compare the two and JU immediately accepts it because he loves her soul. Cute.

I feel like they didn't let Naksu/CY deal with her trauma. That chick has been through a lot a lot. Like a lot. And they were just like "vibes, she continues". Why, when they gave JU time to heal from his trauma? Yes, in the end it was her choice to give up her sword and not train, but why couldn't they show us her healing process and how she decided that?

This brings me to the pacing of the show. S1 also had shit pacing, let's be honest, but S2 was worse because they could've had so much plot filled episodes and they still decided to give filler episodes. Season 1 kept on opening so many doors that they never closed and that continued on to S2. They dragged that amnesia plot and then the last 2 episodes were rushed. They very much showed the conflicting sides of JU in S2. They showed his reluctance to feel anything towards JBY and him pushing her away (I found him to be really mean at some points) and then his inability to see her suffer and caring for her from a distance. But to drag this out was also unnecessary, he was still mean to her up until ep 7.

That doctor chick was so fucking annoying. She literally had no point in S2 (or S1 really) except to be exceptionally annoying (please see earlier note about how female characters were underutilized and sidelined).

Anyways, regardless of budget and politics the storyline of AOS could've been much better, but I will always be grateful to the Hong sisters for giving me these characters and showing me these actors/actresses.

May 2023 bring in all the good kdramas and HEAs, because 2022 was a bit much. (A part of me hopes that GYJs new action kdrama "moving" is fucking amazing just so that the Hong sisters regret never giving her another action scene.)

[destinyc1020]

Confessions:

"Careful Anon, you're going to have Kaia's shooters all in up my inbox after me again lol. 😂 (as if we HAVE to like this girl)"

Gurl we know its just 1-2 fans 😅 they seem passionate about her, ill giv them that. I think she prob got burnt ojt by modeling n decided to act, problem is shes just nt a good actor. I think being on AHS really humbled her cuz gurl limited hee comments after that, even when Ryan Murphy said she had the "best audition" he kinda set her up

I also find it interesting that she seems to always b interacting wit her bf/ex-bfs ex gfs lmao. On her ig story she has a pic of her hugging cazzie david, both of them r petes exes (and this was a book event hosted by her/hee team). Shes interacted with Vanessa yrs ago, Joey, was friends with Olivia Jade and recently Z. Nt sure if its just cuz hollywood is just small af or shes delibertly interacting with them fir whatever reason. I was shocked by her/Darnell following each other bt 1 thing bout Kaia is she know how to network lol never knew she wuld get that close to Z tho

Gurl we know its just 1-2 fans 😅 they seem passionate about her, ill giv them that. I think she prob got burnt ojt by modeling n decided to act, problem is shes just nt a good actor. I think being on AHS really humbled her cuz gurl limited hee comments after that, even when Ryan Murphy said she had the "best audition" he kinda set her up

Yea, I'm sure she probably got burnt out by modeling, and maybe started to not really enjoy it anymore? 🤷🏾‍♀️ That profession seems STRESSFUL, and heavily looks-based. Acting can be that way as well, but at least I don't think people freak out if you gain 1.5 lbs or something lol. Kaia also probably realized that she didn't want to always have to continue to live in her mom's shadow for the REST of her life in her career. I mean, her mom was THE "It Girl" back in the supermodeling world. Always being compared to your mom, or being called "Look-alike" daughter of Cindy Crawford has got to after a certain point get kinda annoying?? 🥴

Sometimes, you just want to make a name for yourself...and I GET that. But like you said, the problem is, she's not a good actor. Which, in itself wouldn't be so bad if she were actually WORKING on it instead of just getting roles even when doing a bad job. 🥴 Most of us "regular people" don't get promoted in our jobs when we're doing a bad job. MOST of us just get FIRED!

I also find it interesting that she seems to always b interacting wit her bf/ex-bfs ex gfs lmao. On her ig story she has a pic of her hugging cazzie david, both of them r petes exes (and this was a book event hosted by her/hee team). Shes interacted with Vanessa yrs ago, Joey, was friends with Olivia Jade and recently Z. Nt sure if its just cuz hollywood is just small af or shes delibertly interacting with them fir whatever reason. I was shocked by her/Darnell following each other bt 1 thing bout Kaia is she know how to network lol never knew she wuld get that close to Z tho

I didn't know all of the stuff about the exes tbh... But I'm not surprised if she's trying to network. I think Hollywood is just a very small place. And yea, I know she and V used to interact at events, and she even used to like pics of Vanessa and Austin together that would be posted on Vanessa's IG YEARS ago. So yea...it does seem kinda weird that now she's dating him. Almost like she's had her eye on him this entire time... 👀🥴

[chirpsythismorning]

I think people are just coping or trying to cope. Realistically it is very unlikely that we could get the season that fast. They have not even started filming yet. Almost all actors have other projects. They could get some actors earlier but it is expected that the scheduling will create problems, even if the actors have ST as their priority on their sheat... it is not really realistic to just get all actors on set. And the filming will last probably about 7-8 months (at best) and then there will be editing CGI stuff... which could take 10 months or so... yeah. So, do the math, and i did not even mention the potential writers strike thing. I do not think they'd want to rush things anyways, this is the last season, they'd want it to make sense and with a solid editing+CGI. That takes kinda... 10 months or so, and the promo has to also happen. Realistically we'll get the season in 2025. Early 2025 if we are lucky.

I agree! And I completely get where they're coming from.

I struggle with deciding if I should be honest about what I think realistically. Is it something that's disappointing and so people are just going to reject it, even despite the evidence bc it's not what they want? And if that's the case, what even is the point bc I obviously don't want to upset people or stress them out.

All I'm trying to do is think logically, so that way we can be prepared instead of disappointed over and over and over again. And tbh, telling ourselves the best possible case scenario is the most likely case scenario, is just setting ourselves up for even harsher disappointment.

I know 1 year and 10ish months seems like a lifetime from now, but it really isn't. We're going to be much more sad once it's over and we won't ever be able to see these characters again. The Duffers don't want to ruin the magic of Stranger Things, meaning there will be no reboots with these actors ever again in official canon. At best, we could get something animated, and that's at best. If anyone joins a literal live-action spin-off/reboot, it's unlikely to be someone from the MAIN main cast, as they'll have plenty of work opportunities after it's over. They also vouch for the ending of s5 being perfect. Which is why I think they wouldn't want to risk its eternal quality being ruined solely for a cash grab with a reboot set in the 2000's of them being re-traumatized all over again, essentially taking away all meaning and depth to s5's ending. It's just not happening (good thing we have fan-fiction).. ,

So again, once it premieres and it's over, there will be no more theorizing or getting excited for canon content beyond harmless fodder. I try to think about it that way when I get sad about waiting and it does honestly make me feel a little bit better. Bc surprises are arguably the best part of this experience. And so once there are no more left to be had, what even is there!!?

Although on that same note, once it's over, with the revelations all out in the open, they'll all finally be able to talk about things they couldn't during the shows run. So it will still be fun for fans that want to stick around for a while post-s5, but that also won't last forever. People will move on. Every phase of this experience is something we will look back on and wish we appreciated more, including hiatus right now. We will miss these times, when so much was still unknown and there was so much to hope and look forward to. The unknown is one of the best parts.

I do understand wanting to get closure sooner than later too though, bc waiting can sometimes feel like wasted time almost?

I will say that personally this is a good wake up call for me bc I do want to step back a little bit and focus on crafting major posts instead of like daily shit posts. I have so many in my drafts waiting for ?hrs of editing to be posted. Sometimes I find time for them, but then I get distracted and just end up making a random shit post instead. And so maybe it would be good to try to shift my focus to something more casual so that I can enjoy this experience more long-term instead of it feeling like an obligation more or less.

Not saying I'll be gone for months at a time. Quite frankly, if there's news to be reported, I want to be of the first to know, so I couldn't really leave permanently even if I wanted to... the FOMO would eat me alive.

[spacestationstorybook]

said i would do this a long time ago but i forgot about it until now. f/os judged based on how fun doing an escape room with them would be

dash: not really a puzzle solving person so she probably wouldn't be super hyped about this but she'd get really into it if it was like.‏‏‎ ‎daring‏‏‎ ‎do‏‏‎ ‎adventure‏‏‎ ‎themed. moves things where she is asked. will go "yeah that sounds right" when approached with a possible solution which can be useful to prevent arguments but not useful if you are actually looking to know whether or not your idea is solid. 5/10.

trexel: my automatic reaction would be to write him off as being shit at this like he is at everything but he has been shown to be pretty good at logical deduction if you catch him at a normal moment and i think he would be excited about themed events so it might actually be kind of fun in the right situation. do not get‏‏‎ ‎hartro‏‏‎ ‎involved though or they will both get stupid competitive. 7/10.

bernie: honestly they'd probably stress her the hell out but she'd agree to at least one date night because antigone seems really excited about it. she solves at least one of the puzzles which makes her feel a lot more happy and confident but she still probably wouldn't want to do one again. 4/10.

thetis: thinks it's cheesy and dumb and solves all of the puzzles super fast but does it for xeno's sake. had a little bit of fun by the end but won't admit it. 4/10.

kobeni: probably more into it than bernie tbh. the idea of being locked in a room and having to escape at its core would freak her out but the idea of getting to solve little puzzles about it and make it into a game is kinda fun to her. as long as it does NOT have a time limit. 6/10.

beffica/floofty: i think Initially‏‏‎ ‎beff‏‏‎ ‎would‏‏‎ ‎think‏‏‎ ‎it‏‏‎ ‎was goofy but would then get really invested. both are good puzzle solvers and quick thinkers But are probably the most likely to start yelling at each other. 8/10 points deducted for the yelling.

hollis: actually quite excited to try one out for the first time...gets invested to kind of a silly degree but it's cute to see her having fun. with‏‏‎ ‎psynauts!nyx‏‏‎ ‎at least she'd be super hyped up and getting really into the world of the game. if it was like a senior agents' night out she'd hold back a little out of embarrassment but excitement would still slip through. 9/10.

moss: also would have a lot of fun with it! arguably the most Normal one to do it with. gets invested but not to the degree it would devolve into a screaming match. prefers to work with a smaller group rather than a larger group. 9/10.

mordecai: doesn't understand why you'd willingly put yourself in such a situation. he likes solving the puzzles but refuses to play along with any kind of theme. however, he has come to understand that sometimes the strangest things will make max unusually happy, and he...feels some kind of way about seeing them happy. 7/10 because sometimes he's still a little pretentious about it.

glados: would rather be the one making an escape room. ???/10.

helen: literally is the escape room. also ???/10.

[antis-hell]

Answering every question in an ask game because I'm bored and no one can stop me<3

(This game is from a deactivated blog, but you can still find the og post here!)

🦒 Do you have an inner world? If so how big is it?

Yep! It's fuckin massive tbh;-; several islands that we can't really access cus they're too far apart kind of big

🐈‍⬛ If you have an inner world did an alter consciously create it? And is anyone able to change it at will?

Nope;-; the majority of it was forcefully made by our abusers to distress us but some parts are slowly healing and changing from how it was originally, afaik the only alt that can change anything at will is Felix/Ion and that's only in selective parts.

🦝 Who is the most responsible person in your system?

Darky. All the fuckin way💀

🦋 Who fronts the most?

Me lol, I'm always at least in vague co con cus im the host

🦢 Do you mostly communicate externally or internally?

Bit of both tbh! We have chats in sp and discord that we use if amnesia walls are high, but mostly we can talk with people that are nearby when fronting

🦮 Do you have any animal alters?

Yep, we got a bunch, but our more frequent fronters are Mopha, a blue moth. Vulpix a kitsune looking cat thing and Fredbear a small yellow ish bear that kinda just chills with Darky

🦇 Do you have any parts/fragments that aren't fully alters/headmates?

Yep! Polyfrag goes brrrrrr, so we have a bunch of alts we consider parts rather than headmates

🦄 Do you have supernatural beings in your system?

Yep😭 again religious trauma is a bit silly, so we have most major Catholic demons, jesus, a few angels, God, celestial besings from the stars, and so much more;-;

🐖 If you were to be in a relationship would all of your headmates/alters date that person?

Nope! We have alts that are in strictly monogamous relationships in headspace so they wouldn't date the person the body is dating, same also goes for littles/middles and animal alters due to the fact they aren't mentally able to consent to a relationship (+ also any aroace alters that wouldn't want to date them)

🐭 Do most of your alters/headmates have the same or similar style/aesthetic?

Not in the slightest💀 we have fairly different styles which makes clothes shopping absolute hell

🪱 Do your alters/headmates have different sexualities? Do any contradict?

Yep! Most of us are gay men/masc aligned, but we do have a handful of lesbians and aroace ppl chilling up in this head

🐇 Do you know what your head count is?

700 at our last guess, but really, it could be anything😭

🦥 What is something that instantly makes someone switch in?

The taste of blood instantly makes Darky switch in. This is a but awkward when eating steak/meat, but he's pretty good at masking as me, so it's okay in the end

🐴 Do you have child alters/syskids?

Yep! We have a bunch:] Some are allowed on here, but we mostly keep them off social media due to safety concerns

🐆 If you have syskids/child alters do you have more adults/teens or children in your system?

Probably adults tbh😭 we have a LOT of littles, but if we're counting everyone that's not a little/middle as an adult, we dwarf them by a mile

🦔 Does anyone in your system age regress/dream?

Yep! I age regress in stressful episodes afaik only a few others do but I won't name them just for their privacy

🐶 Who has the best memory in your system?

Either Darky or Felix probably- they're the top gatekeepers, so they have access to everything pretty much

🦊 Do any of your alters have their own blogs just for them?

Darky does! He hasn't posted much on it yet but he's been mumbling about doing book reviews or some shit (like a fuchin old person would do/lh) I half told him to make one cus he needs more friends so go check it out if ya want! @upin-the-dark

Anyway, I had fun doing this:D If you want me to do any specific ask games/want me to do your ask game, send me the link, and I'll check it out!!/gen/nf

-anti💚🗡

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

well I've had an interesting first week of the year back at work. I managed to get through to my usual doctor this week, which is a bit of a miracle, considering she's always back late jan/early feb each year. she's recommended 3 places for me to ring to follow up on a probable ADHD diagnosis. the best one is one in Sydney, in Bondi.

but to do all of their tests would mean I'd try to jam them into a week, if I could (probs not let's be real), or each time I do one I spend on a hotel room to stay up there, since I just wouldn't feel bothered to the 2 hour drive home after 8 hours of tests. but the Sydney one gives you a brain scan which would be super cool. but also if you managed to get bulk billed, it's $1,200. also they don't focus on meds, they focus on "brain based" and behaviour change stuff.

the other 2 places are local to my area, but you have to ring to find out their prices. but on the other hand, my doc said to leave all this stiff until after I have my colonoscopy that's booked for a couple weeks from now, on the 16th.

work is better since I'm not at a tired low point like I was at the end of last year. my boss is a bit happier that I'm turning up at the office at around 8:50 roughly and set up by 9. but yeah I hate having to cut my pre work bed relax after my bath each morning to 7:15 to get out the door by 8;20. but rn 8:20 is only working bc it's the school holidays so I'm not locked into the mronjng school run traffic and school zones right next to my house (basically). so it means I will have to bother to leave at 8:15 or whatever when school starts back up again on jan 31st.

but yeah. I still haven't handed in any of my unfinished (or unstarted) cadestship assessments; bc I forgot right before we left of chrissy/NY break to ask our outsourced IT guys to set up our VPN access app (it just gives you a code to type in) on my phone to access the work hard drive at home lmao. so I've meant to start this week, but I just haven't.

aside from work, the other interesting thing is that someone from the catholic school I went to for years 7-10 from 2008 til 2011, decided to invite me to a 10 year reunion that someone else from our year group from that school set up on Tuesday on fb for October this year. and I was just so surprised that someone bothered to remember me and invite me.... and I feel kinda touched tbh lol. bc i didn't even graduate with them properly, in a way, in 2013, bc I obvs graduated at the public school that I transferred to. it's so random that someone thought to invite me all these years later.

and I'm also stressing over the event a little. mostly on the level of what to wear to it, obvs lmao. but also, most of these people are successful working in good jobs. or they run their own successful local businesses/take over their parentd businesses.

while, on the other hand. I finish my cadetship in march, and I have no idea whether i'll be kept on where I am or whether I'll be somewhere else or jobless lmao. but anyway. it's going to be so weird seeing anyone from that school again, when half of them have kids and are married now or some have even divorced or split from their partners that they married in our early 20s (or at least that's what I've deduced from their name changes on fb back to their original last name I knew them by in school).

also im bitterly jealous of a few of them because they've bought their first house or have a second house and are using their first as an investment property. like bruh. am I the only one who still hasn't moved out of home yet??? and obvs there are obvs other people renting but still. am i the only one still at home??? I don't want questions about that tbh.

like is it even worth catching up with these people, when I still remember the derision I got from one of the girls from my group from that school, when I ran into her at uni back in 2016??? how she told me that everyone was actually SO GLAD that I'd left bc apparently they were all secretly harbouring embarrassment for my behaviour and my "attention seeking" or whatever the fuck she said to me???? but also part of me hopes that rich boy goes and is happy to see me and I'll get to congratulate him in person on his engagement or perhaps being married by the time this event happens (if it even does lmao). and that's my other thing. could just be an elaborate joke where they do this, and I turn up, but NO ONE is there???? like hello trust issues, aren't you looking very sexy this week.

[stormlit]

despite my...reservations with the show, it has reawakened my desire for grishaverse aus so a quick rundown:

molly is a kaelish healer, but she isn't fully aware of it? she's just got a good touch, she'd call it, and is excellent at healing people emotionally, but she's untrained and wouldn't think to consider herself grisha. she left the wandering isle a long time ago, working as a maid for rich ravkans (maybe even the royal family to get her known to more canons idk) to be able to send money back home, but with the war she volunteers to help healers on the battlefield, and then as the fold expands she moves to help refugees from the lost villages too.

nynaeve is from a tiny east ravkan village far from os alta that has always been protective of its grisha children, not wanting to send them far away, being unwelcome to the examiners, etc. though young, nynaeve is considered one of the leaders. however, the fold expands around the time a powerful grisha came through, and in the volcra-filled chaos, nynaeve loses track of her friends--and gains mistrust of this grisha. finding out that her friends, on the advice of this grisha, are heading to the little palace, nynaeve does the same; she gets there around the time of the attack on it, and in the wake of the devastation releases a wave of the most powerful unintentional healing/protective shield? almost? seen by anyone, let alone coming from an untrained grisha who knew she could heal, but didn't know the extent of her power. cannot stress enough how powerful this wave is. definitely ends up on alina's side and working at the spinning wheel, definitely not a fan of the little palace even though she does end up getting some training post-trilogy, definitely will tell snobby grisha what she thinks.

sadie isn't grisha. i originally wrote out a different thing but then i just had the thought of what if it's sturmhond's crew who rescues her from the terrible aftermath of the attack on her farm/murder of her husband, because that would also be an environment in which she could find reasons to live again but also be big on her revenge arc, as well as fully encouraging her ability with guns, and then working with nikolai to track down Bad Guys/traitors as a way to find reasons to live.

vex and the rest of vox machina are uhhh not little palace people at all, even though there's a fair number of grisha in their mix, but they do have the respect of a country's leadership in canon/have respected positions on the high council and why shouldn't that be ravka tbh. sometimes you need a gang of mercenaries idk what to tell you. she's suli but was raised away from that culture, along with her twin, by her awful father who is an ambassador and a terrible person, she's (probably) not grisha but is the best shot, would love nikolai's flying machines.

[jinhogwarts]

storytime

cw // pain , blood , disgusting stuff idk how to even flag this

for a few days last week my ear has been feeling irritated around my earring, i ignored it thinking it will pass in a few days on its own.

on friday my husband looked at my ear and he was like......... that doesn't look good at all. so i was like, oh ok I'll get home and take the earrings out to let it rest, and then put them back on after it's gone.

went back home, took the other earring out, fine. tried to take out the one that was irritated... couldn't find the clasp. i was like, uh, that's weird, it shouldn't have fallen off. but surely it's fine and i can just ask my husband to take it out for me.

went to him, he said, there's no clasp, probably it fell off. he tried to pull out the earring but it hurt and i had a very bad feeling about it so i told him to stop. we still thought it was just an infection so he asked his friend what to do and she told us to put an ointment on it until the swelling goes down and then to take it out. i had some leftover ointment from when i had my last tattoo so i put that on.

after a few hours, though, the swelling didn't go down and it felt more and more irritated. my husband was supposed to go to a night shift (he's a volunteer emt) but it was late and i really didn't want to go to sleep like that, so we decided to go to the hospital to get a doctor look at it.

and thank fuck we did because, well, apparently somehow my earlobe got so swollen it completely swallowed the clasp 🥴 the doctor pulled out the earring itself with no anesthesia (it wasn't fun) but then he had to give me a shot in my ear to look for the clasp. tbh it didn't take longer than 10 minutes to do the whole thing and other than making me feel really stressed it wasn't that bad... he gave me antibiotic ointment to put on it, bandaged it, and that's it.

i took a painkiller after we got out so it wouldn't hurt too bad once the anesthesia wore off, which was a good call because it only hurt a little bit. my husband didn't go to his night shift so he could stay with me and replace my bandage before going to sleep, and tbh it hasn't really hurt that much since then, only feels irritated and itchy and looks absolutely disgusting with dried blood and it's still very swollen.

anyways moral of the story do not ignore pain / irritation etc especially if it's from something that is literally inside of your body idk what would have happened if i left it longer...