#Wife Issues

[timstinytool]

how old are you tim

My Age Is Not SomeThing I Wish To Share Publicly BeCause It Is Dangerous To Share Information About YourSelf OnLine And That Is SomeThing I ReFrain From Doing. I Hope You Can UnderStand That I Have Been Targeted For Bully By Bully ForEver And They Send Me Mail In The Electronic Mail And Real Life Mail Too They Send Me Things Like Dog Hair And Other Such Little Things As This. I Do Not Appreciate The Probing Question. Are You My Wife? My Wife Did Not Know My Age Either. SomeTimes I Thought The Hair In The Mail Was Hers. LOL! BeCause She Looks Like A Dog. Yes I Know That Is Rude But It Is JustiFied BeCause She Put Me Through Hell For Having PGD And GasLit Me And Told Me That The PGD Was Not Real But It Was Also Why She Bully For Me To Demean My Self Esteem. They Hate To See Me Winning And Other Such Phrases Said By People Who BeLieve They Are Winning.

Image Is UnRelated. My Wife Never Valued Me In Our RelationShip. I Have Never Seen Another Woman In My Life BeCause Of Her. Do You Ever Think About What It Would Be Like To Be In A Real Loving And Committed RelationShip? My Wife Never Did. I Wish She Was Better To Me. It Is Too Late Now To Ever Go Back. LOL!

[zerruttet]

🎙️Steve Trevino - Marriage Life

[rystiel]

i keep seeing people say the doctor shouldn’t have feelings for rogue because he’s married to river…? river song… who has also married multiple people… one of the most polyamorous characters in the show…?

[shanesevikasfuckdoll]

How do you like your mommy issues?

[buntanteen]

cockwarming dilf!mingyu thoughts (nsfw)

summary: thoughts on reader cockwarming dilf!kim mingyu :3

contains: 18+ nsfw! mdni!!

✩ svt writing & fic rec masterlist ✩

thinking about cock warming and slow fucking dilf!mingyu

after closing the bedroom door behind him, mingyu turns to meet your gaze. the moment the two of you make eye contact, you both gravitate towards each other. the slow movements of feeling up his chest turn into rapid ones trying to undress each other.

walking backwards to mingyu bed, falling into the white sheets with him hovering about you. grazing open mouthed kisses and licks across each other's necks. nosing against each other’s skin as he slips into you. feeling so so so full as you grind down onto his pretty cock.

slow movements of mingyu's hips hitting every spot making you in absolute bliss. the pace slowing down to barely slow fucking. heavy breaths, quiet moans and slips of whimpers filling the room.

trying to keep quiet so none of his kids hear the two of you. mingyu having his arms wrapped around you and his head laying on top of your chest. you have one hand trailing down the curve of his broad back. the other hand is carding your fingers through his hair to move it away from his sweaty forehead.

the summer evening breeze cooling down your flushed skin. the sunset view illuminating his honey skin. the warmth of your and mingyu's bodies lulling the two of you to sleep.

bun note: my other mingoo writing -> bestie fwb!mingyu headcanons

author note: do not distribute my work on other platforms without my consent. if you see my writing in places other than this tumblr account, please let me know. my writings are purely fictional fantasises for fun. the people i write about are real human beings and should still be treated as such. please do not take my writings seriously or as truth.

[hotwife-heat]

[bean-spring]

Am I the only one who doesn't think Mark was a shit husband at all and he just has a very avoidant personality running away from his issues while Gemma clearly wants to face them directly? People can't go through life being happy all the time, you know

[frm9pm]

He’s playing beatmania

[decarabias]

forever thinking about royal’s bad ending. my thing with it is that maruki doesn’t necessarily give anyone what they want most, he gives them what’s most appropriate for them to want within a maruki-approved framework. iirc there’s a really interesting text sequence in the game where he just straight up changes someone’s career because they’re not “good” at it, regardless of whether that’s what they actually want. why struggle at all? ever? right?

and so ultimately i don’t think goro akechi’s greatest wish is necessarily ren. i think it’s a wish for sure, but his greatest wish is his own agency. despite any regrets he has and the fact that shido and yaldabaoth treated him like a pawn, he's generally pretty adamant about owning his choices and their consequences. he doesn't want that erased. and instead, you end up with pleasant boy™ if you take maruki’s deal. maybe maruki (incorrectly) thinks sanding off all of akechi’s rough edges will make him easier for ren to love. but the crux of it is really that maruki has to essentially lobotomize him to preserve the illusion of his perfect reality, because their ideologies are so diametrically opposed that akechi would spend every waking moment fighting back.

this isn’t to undermine ren’s importance to akechi btw — he explicitly acknowledges that he wishes they had met earlier, and there are countless moments throughout their confidant that underscore how much it means to him that they mirror each other so well. he absolutely does want more time with ren, just not under these circumstances.

and that’s also what makes ren’s choice on 2/2 doubly devastating. he knows that either way he loses akechi. and if he takes maruki’s deal, he loses him knowing that his last moments with the real akechi involved the two of them being unforgivably out of sync.

[unoislazy]

Changes

Vi x Reader

Vi has attachement issues and needs a hug.

A/N: get ready for me to write a whole bunch about attachment issues Vi. She just needs a BREEEAAKKK

————————————————————

You sat quietly on your makeshift bed in your dust filled room as you looked up at the ceiling. Finding a house in such a place as Zaun was no easy feat, so of course it wasn’t glimmering with a pristine shine. It was all you had and that was enough for you.

Well, it wasn’t ALL you had. There was another room attached to the apartment that you happened to find that you shared with someone else.

Your friend Vi.

It had been left unused for a while, but once you found out she had been let out of jail and had nowhere else to go, you offered your place without a second thought. Vi, hellbent on insisting she doesn’t need help, declined at first. However, upon realizing that a lot had changed since she had been arrested she soon came back and took you up on your offer.

You two had been great friends when you were younger but now there was a sort of shift between you. Nothing too unexpected though, she had been away for god knows how long, of course things wouldn’t immediately go back to the way they were. But part of you wished it would.

Despite the fact that you two lived together, you rarely ever talked. Not because of any one particular reason, but mainly because it just felt awkward too. You didn’t want to ask about what had happened to her when she left, you heard what you needed to about the incident through general gossip and word of mouth. Vi, on the other hand, seemed like she had things she wanted to ask you as well, but she always pushed it off for some reason.

You continued to stare at the ceiling above before pushing off the bed and leaning on your arms. You hadn’t done anything productive by this point so you decided to change that. With one swift push, you were standing on your feet in front of a cracked wall that seemed stained with smoke and water damage. A staple of the lives of those who couldn’t afford much else.

Life like this always made you wonder what it was like for the Pilties.

You sighed, putting a hand up to your head as you rubbed your face, mentally preparing yourself for whatever task you’d give yourself for the sake of pretending like you actually did something useful with your day. As you walked out of your room, you were met with a very familiar face sitting in the little common lounge area the two of you had set up.

“Hey.” Vi greeted, looking up towards you for only a moment before looking back down at something she held in her hands. You noticed she wasn’t wearing her usual red jacket which wasn’t totally out of the ordinary, but it caught you a bit by surprise to see her arms just on display. You shook your head ever so slightly before quickly responding with your own gentle,

“Hey.”

Silence then returned between the two of you as you walked past her to try and find something to occupy yourself with. Unfortunately for you, the deathly still air around you began to weigh on you, urging you to say something to the girl who now sat behind you.

“So… what’s it like being back?” You asked, not looking back at her as you moved to a box of your things that was just sitting on the floor. What better time to sort this than now, you guessed.

Vi sighed a little before answering,

“Disorienting.” She said simply before pausing for a moment or two. “It's as if I landed on another planet or universe or something.” She continued, still fiddling with whatever was in her hand. You hummed in response.

“A lot changed when you left.” You added which earned a dry chuckle from Vi.

“Tell me about it.” She said, now leaning back on her chair as she looked up at the ceiling. The freak of the chair caused you to look back at her for a moment. It seemed you both had that habit in common, just looking up at the ceiling whenever you needed to think. You wondered if she was always like that or if it’s something she gathered while in prison.

Another silence fell over the two of you before you spoke up.

“Jerichos is still there though.” You said, still looking at her for a moment before turning back to rummage through your box of belongings. You heard her shift in her seat as she sat back up.

“Really?” She questioned with a more egear air about her. You looked at her over your shoulder with a slight smile as you nodded.

“Yeah. We could go check it out now if you want.” You offered, now taking your hands out of the box as you fully faced her. “For old times sake?” You added on.

You watched as her eyes softened even the slightest bit at your words, a smile making its way onto her lips as she nodded.

“For old times sake.”

It didn’t take long for Vi to get ready as she grabbed her usual jacket and waited for you by the door. Once you were both ready to head out, you noticed that the awkward tension that riddled the entirety of your apartment seemed to have dwindled even the slightest bit.

“So what have you been up to?” The pink haired woman asked as she walked casually at your side. Her hands were tucked into her pockets as she looked over to you.

“Eh, stealing stuff, making money where I can. Really anything to get by.” You answered with a shrug. Vi nodded before a smile graced her face once again, her eyes scrunching ever so slightly, naturally indicating that the smile was genuine. The first one you’d seen from her in a while.

“Remember that time we tried to steal food from that one stall that was on this street?” She asked, looking in the direction that the stall once resided years ago. This thought slowly but surely brought you joy as you remembered what had unfolded.

You snickered a bit to yourself before saying,

“Yeah, and I remember how you fell and practically ate concrete. Wasn’t funny then but you know, I think it’s been long enough to say it’s funny now.” You taunted a bit as you looked over to her to which she rolled her eyes.

“Hey, it’s not like you haven’t had your fair share of slip ups Sunshine.” She teased with a smirk before turning her head to look at the other side of the street. She extended her arm and pointed at the remnants of a poor attempt at graffiti.

“Remember when you tried to prove to Mylo you could be daring so you tried to vandalize the shop we used to go to, and you ended up spelling half of it wrong?” She laughed, realizing she was still able to read most of what you had painted on the wall many years ago.

“Live life wiht no regerts, how poetic of you.” She teased to which you lightly shoved her shoulder with a smile.

“Shut up, I was more focused on trying not to get caught than whatever I was writing.” You laughed. You both continued reminiscing on things you had done, or failed to do, together when you were younger. Finally it felt as if that wall between you had fully gone down.

You two were so busy having fun and laughing with each other you almost ended up passing by Jericho’s stall. You quickly corrected that course of action as you both sat down at the counter, ordering the same orders you used to order when you were younger.

“His stuff is still just as good as you remember, I can promise you that.” You smiled, turning back to look towards Jericho who was busy slicing and dicing his dishes, preparing them just how you liked them. When you turned back to face Vi however, you noticed she had a much more nostalgic look on her face as she stared at you. You raised your eyebrow as you looked back at her,

“What, is there something on my face?” You asked, confused as to why she was staring. Upon hearing you speak She simply looked away from you, acting as if she hadn’t been staring to begin with.

“No, no there’s nothing on your face.” She answered quickly. Before you could question her further, Jericho placed your dishes out in front of you, just as cheerful as ever. You both said your thank yous before digging in, Vi much more eagerly than you. She tactically inhaled her food, clearly having not been satisfied with whatever prison slop they had been giving her.

“I missed this.” She said gleefully, practically drowning in the bliss she felt from her meal. As she finished up her meal, she placed the bowl back down before looking back at you for a moment or two. Inc wagon you were going to ask her what was wrong but she beat you too it as she spoke,

“I missed you.”

This caught you by surprise. You simply stared at her for a moment before moving to answer,

“I missed you too.” You replied, earning a small smile for Vi before she continued,

“It feels good to know that at least some things haven’t changed.”

Her words, although coming from a place of warmth, held a melancholic weight to them as well. You hadn’t changed, you were one of the only things in Zaun that stayed the same, and you didn’t know it but Vi took immense comfort in that. Everything else was out of her control, she wasn’t there to see it change, and there was no way for her to stop It either. So knowing you, someone she cared for oh so deeply, was still alive and well, it helped her sleep even the slightest bit better at night.

She wanted to tell you. She wanted to tell you all the things she felt about you. In fact, before everything had gone south with the enforcers, she had planned to tell you. She planned to get everything off her chest and let you know just how much she cared about you.

But she never got the chance.

Until now. Here you were, sitting two feet in front of her, laughing and smiling the same way you always had, the same way she always adored.

And she was hesitating.

What if you never felt the same? What if you had but it’s been so long that those feelings have dwindled? What if she makes it awkward again? She didn’t want that, she didn’t want any of that. You both had finally reached a point of comfort again, everything felt right again with you, she didn’t want to mess that up.

Little did she know, you were feeling the same. You always had feelings for Vi that remained over the years. Sure they dwindled in strength after not seeing her for so long, but the moment you set your eyes on her that first day you knew she was back, the feelings came rushing back like a dam had broken into a river.

It almost made it impossible to focus at times, she looked so different and yet so similar. You couldn’t help but stare at her features from time to time.

As your mind wandered, you couldn’t help but muttering,

“I like your hair.”

You hadn’t realized you said it outloud until Vi looked back at you once again from her bowl. Quickly, you went to remedy the situation before it had the chance to be once awkward.

“It looks good, well you look good, but specifically your hair. It’s nice.” You stumbled over your words a bit in the process of getting that one simple sentence out.

Good Job.

Luckily, this only made Vi smile more as she laughed a bit at what she thought was adorable stumbling.

“Thanks Sunshine.” She replied, in almost a cheeky manner as she smirked at you.

After a bit more talking, and what neither of you would admit was just straight up flirting, you both decided you had spent enough time out and wanted to head back. As you walked back, you two continued to reminisce on old stories with the group, but mainly focusing on the memories you two shared on your own.

You both laughed at another memory as you walked back through the door of your apartment and plopped down on one of the few chairs in the main room. Vi followed after you, sitting just across from you as She slouched on the seat, stretching her legs out as far as she could. There was a smile on her face, but it was clear she was keeping something hidden.

“Vi?” You spoke up, looking directly at her. “What’s up?” You asked, not giving an explanation to your question but just by her facial expressions you knew she knew what you meant.

“What do you mean?” She tried to play it off, but that only made you double down.

“Vi. You’re making that face, you know the one where you’re struggling to keep your thoughts to yourself. I’ve been around you long enough to know when you have something to say.” You explained, crossing your arms in front of your chest as you looked towards her with a very unfazed expression.

Her smile didn’t drop, but it changed to less of a joyful one and more of the disappointment of someone who had just been caught.

“Nothing ever gets past you does it, Sunshine?” She asked in a slightly teasing manner as if to draw away the attention from herself. This was a tactic she often used when you’d start getting on her case about opening up to you. It never worked and yet she tried it every time. You raised a brow at her before she let out a slight sigh.

“Fine, you got me. I was just… thinking.” She answered vaguely, no longer making eye contact as she stared at the wall behind you.

“About what?” You asked. Leaning a bit forward, showing your clear interest in how she was feeling. It seemed as if she gave in as she began to speak,

“About… Everything.” She spoke quietly, she was always so ready to keep her thoughts hidden if it meant keeping others safe from worrying, but she didn’t need to do that here. She didn’t have to worry about that with you.

You could see she was deep in thought as she leaned forward a bit now leaning against the small table that was between the two of you. Clearly she was thinking about what to say and what not to say, so to ease her nerves, you moved your hand to cover hers.

Vi always seemed to calm down at your touch, and now was no exception to that. She seemed to visibly relax as she felt the warmth of your touch cover her own hand. Her eyes softened before she let out a sigh. You always knew how to get your way.

“I was thinking about how I don’t want this to change. I know this whole time we’ve been focusing on how things used to be and how everything has changed since then but, now that I’m with you again everything else doesn’t really matter as much to me.” She began. You sat silently as you listened to her continue,

“Don’t get me wrong, it's upsetting to see how much has changed over the years I’ve been gone, but I know that you haven’t changed. I don’t know where my sister is, Silco is in charge of everything, so just knowing that you’re still here, it’s like a quiet peace in all the other chaos I have to deal with.” She explained with a slight chuckle, now looking back at you.

“You’re the only thing that makes sense to me right now.”

You couldn’t help but feel loved by her words. She clearly valued your presence more than you realized, just as you valued hers.

Before you even knew it, you had stood up from your chair and walked towards Vi. In a mere few seconds you were standing in front of her, and without a second thought you engulfed her in a warm hug. The warmest you could ever muster as you rested your chin on her shoulder.

She hesitated for a moment before eventually grabbing back, her arms wrapped around your torso as she stood up to properly hold you. The force in which she stood up caused the chair behind her to knock back and fall over as she desperately clung to your warmth.

“I've missed you…” She whispered to you, her entire body feeling as if it was powering down against you. For the first time in a long time she felt truly safe. She felt as if she could put her guard down and leave down when she was with you.

“Vi?” You lightly called as you eventually pulled away from the hug and looked back towards Vi’s eyes. She had the look of that of a wounded puppy. Her usual tough looking scowl that was used to keep unwanted attention off her back was replaced by a soft, hopeful and almost loving eyes. It was a look you had seen many times before but you never truly realized what it was. You could finally put it into words. It made your heart flutter whether she did it intentionally or not.

Maybe this wasn’t the time to share your feelings. Maybe it was better to keep them hidden. But you had already called her name so… you at least needed to come up with something.

Screws it, whatever happened to honesty. You took in a deep inhale before closing your eyes. If you can’t see it, the possible rejection isn’t there.

Before you could even fully make a decision about whether or not to say what you wanted, you felt as Vi’s hand lightly went up to your face, the feeling was unexpected but not unwanted as you leaned into her rough touch slightly.

“I love you.” She said, finishing your thought whether she realized it or not. Her words caused you to freeze as you finally reopened your eyes. When you did, you were met by the same blue eyes still staring at you. The warmth had never vanished from her gaze as she kept her eyes trained on you.

“I’ve been wanting to say that for so long.” She chuckled slightly, you could feel her hands beginning to shake a bit as you stayed silent. Her hands then left your face as she continued,

“You’ve been my best friend for so many years and I know we didn’t really interact for a little while but honestly I was scared. I was scared to come to terms with the fact that you might’ve changed just like everything else. Sure you’ve changed physically and maybe your personality has changed in some aspects but, you’re still the same person I was in love with you even when we were kids.” She was clearly rambling at this point as her hands continued to shake. You didn’t know Vi was capable of feeling fears over such a trivial thing, but there it was, staring you right in the face.

As she continued to speak, you could hardly focus on anything, you let your body act on its own as your brain took a moment to catch up. Your hands slowly made their way up to Vi’s face, silencing her as you leaned in slightly before hesitating.

“Can I?” You asked quietly but without even answering, Vi leaned forward and embraced you in a long awaited kiss. It was everything either of you could have dreamed of. Your hands began to leave her face as your arms wrapped around her neck, pulling her closer to you. Her hands lightly traveled down to your waist to keep you in place as she leaned into you more.

After a little while, you both broke the kiss, looking at each other as you both slightly panted before breaking out into laughter. You didn’t know why, you just… felt like laughing. Vi eventually leaned back into you, resting her chin on your shoulder as whispered,

“Can we just… stay like this? Please?” She asked, pulling back a bit so you could see her hard blue eyes softening as she looked towards you, her hand slithering into yours, holding it with care as if you might shatter with even the slightest squeeze. You, the ever loving being you are, smiled softly at your now partner.

“Of course. I guess the question is though, your room or mine?” You asked, to which Vi quickly responded

“Yours.”

So without any argument, you both made your way to your room and laid down together in a tangled mess on the bed. Your arms were wrapped around her neck once again as she held a tight grip on your torso. It was clear she needed an embrace of any sort.

It was no secret that she had been through so much and while you couldn’t go back and change the past, you could do what you could to help her heal.

“Thank you.” She whispered quietly, moving closer to you.

[localcanadiancreature62]

Marital issues mad scientists..

They just do this a lot,huh?. I swear if i see another one of these fuckers i will start killing with hammers.

[tea-potato-gt]

One of my favorite parts of the manga Godaigo Daigo:

Read Chapter 1 here / Chapter 39 here / Table of contents here

THIS is the parental G/t I have been CRAVING for a long time.

A protective giant father not approving of any of his daughter’s fiancé’s.

He was turned into a giant after his daughter was born, and was separated from her for many years. This is their family reunion:

This family is EVERYTHING to me!

He is reluctant to let her get married because he didn’t see her grow up and wants to make up for lost time.

But when her new fiancée shows true guts and love for his daughter, he can’t help but approve.

But more importantly, he wants to make his baby girl happy 😭😌

This is a continuation of this post from @coffehbeans

Now I am BEGGING the universe for either an anime or a printed manga! (Preferably BOTH!)

I NEED people to read this manga RIGHT NOW

[palettepainter]

Guys please please pleas from the very bottom of my heart, I don't think I ask for much, but I BEG of you: if you can, GO AND SEE ELIO IN CINEMAS RIGHT NOW!! (there's no specific spoilers ahead)

Maybe I've just been starved of original animated content for so long, but this movie was so precious and adorable? Like, I genuinely didn't except to find this so cute and heart warming, if you grew up as an autistic child or even as a child who generally had issues fitting in with your peer group, this movie is for you.

I was surprised at how much through out this movie I found myself clutching my chest from how adorable it is, it's silly, it's creative, it's fun, it's fucking ORIGINAL - GO AND SEE IT

AND LORD GRIGON???

Excuse my language ladies and gentlemen, but WOOF~

[tigerdrop]

my little pet project... turning an ita bag into one of fords journals : ) i wanted a lil somethin to pop all my keychains and stuff into and im also working on a ford cosplay so two birds one stone etc

and heres what she looks like with a bunch of my little guys in it! i have a few more to add but i just couldnt resist getting a picture now

(my own lil keychain is on the bottom right! aint he cute)

[nutsack90]

!!!got a proper tablet!!!

im free from the shackles of drawing with my finger on my phone!!! also click for higher res tumblr hates my textures lmfaoo 😓😓

[whotfelsewantedtobelynnyx]

Chat, I regret to inform you that I have added a new hyperfixation…so…

Agatha All Along Incorrect Quotes!

Alice: Hold the fuck up.

Also Alice, crawling into Lilia’s lap: It’s me. I’m the fuck up. Hold me.

Rio: I have an idea!

Jen: No murder.

Rio, sighing petulantly: I no longer have an idea.

Lilia: I have a bad feeling about this…

Agatha: What do you mean?

Alice: Don’t you ever get that little voice in the back of your head that tells you if something is going to get you in trouble?

Agatha: No.

Jen: That actually explains so much.

Lilia: As far back as I can remember, I’ve always had this little voice in my head telling me to “live it up today, because there’s not gonna be a lot of tomorrows”.

Agatha: You do realize there’s medication designed to get rid of those kinds of voices, right?

Teen: A bird flew in through my window and I’m trying to befriend it.

*later*

Agatha: Why don’t you quit bothering me and go talk to your bird friend?

Teen: Matthew and I are not speaking at the moment.

*the coven, huddling together behind a makeshift shelter to shield themselves from repeated gunshots*

Alice, hastily shoving the others behind her so she can return fire: Agatha, do you have any idea who would want to shoot you?!

Agatha, squashed between Jen and Rio: Many people want to shoot me. I take great pride in that!

Jen, glaring at the group as she hands over bail money:

Alice, tapping her shoulder: What about Teen?

Jen, glaring more: I’ve got to bail him out too? Where’s Agatha?

Teen: No one called her. We used Lilia’s phone call to call Alice and Rio’s to call you. Then Rio used my phone call to vote for American Idol.

Rio: :)

Jen: Rio isn’t answering her phone.

Agatha: Here, I’ll try.

Jen: Alice and I have tried six times each, what makes you think that-

Rio, picking up on the first ring: Hey, sweetheart.

Agatha: The ends always justify the means!

Jen: Do you know who said that?

Agatha: Was it Oprah or someone nice and great like that?

Jen: It was Machiavelli. A decidedly non-Oprah like person.

Jen: I bet you didn’t even finish the thing I asked you to get done!

Agatha: For your information, I most certainly did! Got it done last night!

Teen, whispering to Agatha: You didn’t get it done, did you?

Agatha, whispering back: I don’t even know what she’s talking about.

Lilia: I am at a loss for words!

Teen, glancing at the camera like his mom like he’s on The Office: Despite being lost for words, Lilia yelled at us for the next 45 minutes.

Agatha, carrying Señor Scratchy out of the room:

Señor Scratchy: *snuggles under her chin*

Agatha, kissing his head: You are being punished. Please stop being adorable. I love you.

Teen: I got a trampoline tent for summer sleepovers!

Jen, whispering to the other adult witches: …think of all the sex.

Alice: There are two types of people.

Rio: If you wanted to eat someone, you could put a fire under it and slowly roast them :)

Lilia: …three. Three types of people.

Jen, cautiously: I can’t believe I didn’t notice this before, but…Teen, you are a little crazy.

Teen: Aren’t we all a little crazy here, Jen?

Jen: No, I mean you’re aging-ballerina, child-chess-prodigy, professional magician kind of crazy.

Teen: It’s my mom’s fault. You know, we come from a Jewish family, but she used to tell me the reason Santa didn’t come was because my room was too dirty.

Rio: I’ve come looking for trouble. And if I can’t find trouble, I WILL create some.

Alice: Do you trust me?

Lilia, smiling proudly at her: Yes.

Alice, who has been completely panicking: Wait, what? Why?!

Agatha, awkwardly glancing around for help: Er…Alice, I’m gonna be honest, I don’t know what to say to people who are crying. So I’m just gonna hope that the tone of my voice makes you think I do, okay, sweetie?

Alice, sniffling: …thanks, Agatha.

Agatha, patting her on the back with a bit too much enthusiasm: No problem, kid.

Lilia: I told Agatha about it weeks ago!

Teen: She WHAT?

Agatha: What??? Lilia says insane shit all the time, how was I supposed to know this one was true?!

Lilia: Bank accounts are a sham created by the shadow government!

Agatha: SEE?!

BONUS:

Wanda, watching from the afterlife: so…when exactly do kids grow out of that whole emo, rebellious stage?

Lorna, shrugging: I don’t know. Alice is still in it.