#a little self reflection art!

[theftshrubbery]

i am newly grown

[entity-of-the-rift]

Meep?

[cupiidzbow]

(BLOWS UP AND LEAVES A PAIR OF SHOES BEHIND) I got an amazing comm from @/almguav on twitter I feel so crazy and lightheaded rn IM SO HAPPY AUAGAHAHAHAHAGAGAQGGA

[charrfie]

Sooooo I updated my spamton design... he looks different now!! I wanted to lean a bit more into canon with his appearance :^D also included here are some doodles of my very self indulgent lighter!arrfs au (uncolored ones are roughly a month old so my design changes had not yet been reflected in them.. but you can't really tell since his design was altered so slightly)

[mantimae]

And then I made the tragic mistake of listening to Bo Burnham’s song 30.

[miraclemioart]

mashing together my two teenage years interests for dopamine

[20percentbug]

hey guess who fell down the vocaloid pipeline

song referenced: Venom by Kairikibear

[stillinthatweirdfaze]

I just touched my tarot decks for the first time since middle school and got a reading really early appropriate for my current situation, and I know that’s like, the point, they are designed to do that, they are designed to be vague enough that they could apply to any situation, that stillllll made my heart race a little bit.

[apoapsis]

his very own sleep paralysis demon!

[ilovedthestars]

ok so I've had a Tumblr for like....five days now? wow that's longer than I thought.

some vague thoughts so far:

this is fun! Tumblr is shiny and I can save all the posts I want to look at later and see more stuff than I could before and also leave comments on things which is FUN

I am apparently incapable of reblogging things without tag commentary. especially cool art. I think at least half of my reblogs so far are just cool art with me rambling in the tags for a million years about how cool I think the art is. (you all should let me know if I'm doing that right lol. do I leave too many tags? is there a point at which I should make tag commentary into an actual reblog?should I be using replies, which I have NO idea what to do with lol? right now I've been sticking with tags because they seem like the safest option)

At some point I will work up the courage to make original posts but I haven’t figured out what I want to talk about yet. besides maybe rambling about fics I have written slash am writing, but I have no idea if anyone particularly cares about that. consider this an open invitation to send me asks (or reblogs or however people do this lol) about literally anything if you feel inclined, because I’m not being quiet out of shyness, mostly just because I don’t know what to talk about. But regardless I will figure it out eventually and probably be very wordy when I do :)

polls are fun! I like clicking buttons. we should all keep making polls. (the vanilla extract thing got old very fast though)

please let me know if I'm doing this whole Tumblr thing right so far lol. There is a lot about what is going on here that I don’t understand, but I am participating anyway!!

[androgynarcissus]

DIVERSITY WIN! the alternate version of your cousin who sold your soul in order to escape the circus is trans and a MORON!

[swordsandspectacles]

A sunny smile for a sun-coloured girl!

This was very much ‘sadbh slaps a background on new ref art for Hollyhock and then forgot to ever update her actual ref art’.

But loook at her little face don’t you just wanna squish it.

[dbphantom]

that’s what the water gave me

[wannatalkaboutit]

I was raised in a house with no walls to beat, with no shoulders for tears

where happiness was fed to us, on the dinner table with wooden spoons, where sadness had no home and we never starved, we were never whole either

and when you tell me about moving – it hurts but it makes me feel like home, you are sad, i am too and I write, let’s not think about tomorrow – but i keep teasing you about leaving, because I like to play around with pain

like a child in the sandbox, let me build a castle, a whole kingdom and watch it crumble, I was never taught where to put this pain so I swallow it whole, let it grow in the pit of my stomach, chew me up and spit me out, until there is no me and just pain and roots and leaves that cover me like ivy – not poison ivy

i come from a home where pain had no space, was feared, was denied, now I stand beside myself and watch as she plays with fire, waiting to burn her fingers and crumble like the kingdom she once built

with wet sand in the autumn months

[grokebaby]

"I hate drawing humans, humanoids are okay I guess but just don't make them too human! Bc humans are boring! I would never willingly make a human character unless it's needed for a story! I can't understand why people would want to make or draw plain old humans!"

-> "Ah well I'm cool with drawing humanoid bodies, I think human heads are just a pain. You can do alot of neat stuff with humanoids too if you just think creatively and don't think too human centric. Vanilla Humans can look nice too though. Still not my first pick"

-> "I love drawing faces and bodies I love how many shapes and flavors humans come in I love how many different faces and hairstyles can be on a person. Humanoid bodies are so expressive and attractive. Monster bodies are so expressive and attractive. Humanoids and monsters together are great. I love drawing faces and bodies. Humans are important and it's the little subtle things that truly add the zest to a character cast and sometimes humans can sit comfy in there as the audience window or sometimes be distorted beyond weirdness which are both wonderful ways to use human characters. I love drawing bodies"

[anvoo]

Thoughts, and updates on how I'm doing

I'll try having contrasting hot/cold showers, and see if it's any better than just my usual hot-water-ones.

I haven't been sleeping well for the past few days, but at least I'm going to bed and waking up at normal-ish times.

Sometimes I'm afraid of not finishing ALL my plans or not doing as well as I hoped, so I end up just not starting. Sometimes I get distracted easily and end up procrastinating and/or making up excuses to not do something. Sometimes I feel tired, demotivated, and down, and I just lose sight of my goals and wants, and spend the day just passing the time.

I have a lot of bad habits and thought patterns that I'm trying to work on, but it's a slow-and-steady kinda thing - my least favorite xD. I always hated waiting and not getting what I wanted immediately, but that's just how it is I guess. I can't rush some stuff no matter how hard I think about them or try to force them.

I have enough to spare when something "needs and comes with time". But on the other hand, I can't afford to wait on something and be stuck in one place. I can't afford to wait until the ideal conditions are met; to wait until I wake up feeling motivated, refreshed, and energized to get a move on with my plans; to wait until whatever it is that is troubling me completely goes away after hours of me thinking and wrestling with it in my head. I'm becoming more at peace with the fact that things won't always (and probably most of the time) be ideal and exactly what I hoped for, and that's ok.

I'm breaking things down more and learning to be more satisfied and content with my progress and accomplishments. Less black-and-white, all-or-nothing thinking. There are many facets to life, and all the little happiness adds up.

Being critical of yourself to avoid stagnation is great, but moderation is key, the same goes for everything. When being self-critical exhausts you and tears down your motivation, that's probably a bit too much v.v In conclusion, I'm trying and learning still. Things aren't easy and comfortable, but I don't want and expect them to be anyways! I believe in myself, being capable of navigating through this and coming out on top. Everything's a journey, and journeys take time, so I'll be patient and take mine too.