#a silly little catchphrase

[coldflasher]

oh yeah today i got a new flash funko pop. it’s exactly the same as two of my other flash funko pops, except this one lights up and makes pew pew, whoosh noises when you bop it on the head. it is, quite frankly, delightful

[kendallsroyco]

AURA + 100000

GIF Source

[whumpshaped]

gnawing at the bars of my enclosure

[prettylittlelifeforms]

why does modern trek insist that every captain has a catchphrase.. Picard saying ‘engage’ got quoted a lot but he wasn’t the only one to say it. They’re engaging warp drive

[alexei-home-fromthewar-at-last]

Okay, I love “stress, depressed, and overdressed.”

However, I want something equally as catchy that includes chronic pain, disability, etc. Thoughts, suggestions?

[berryartzionline]

I made some art of this little guy. :)

[tesla-rip]

well I do have an ao3 account. and I’d love to write a flash and flick interaction

[citnamora]

Started saying "goodness gravy gracious" and now I just can't stop saying it. Did it start as a joke? I have no idea. But when I am utterly exasperated it's the first phrase to pop in my head

[conceptalbummultiverse]

WIP Wednesday 4

Whew, I almost forgot to post this! Thankfully it's still Wednesday, so... Here's another excerpt from the first half of Part 4 of Strange Fascination: A Love Story. This takes place right before Ziggy's big comeback show (after having spent three weeks out of the public eye).

Behind Ziggy, Gilly sighed. “Feels like we never left merry old England.”

       “What d’you mean?” Henry said.

       “I mean…” A movement in the mirror caught Ziggy’s eye. His gaze focused on the scene behind him to see Gilly’s arm arc through the air. “They gave us our own dressing room, and here we all are in Ziggy’s.”

       “Like old times,” Weird said, a fond note in his voice. “That wasn’t so long ago, was it?”

       “Feels like years,” Henry muttered.

       Ziggy frowned as he returned to his face-painting. “Haven’t you lot got separate dressing rooms?”

       “Just the one.” Gilly rose from his seat, drumming his palms against his legs as he did so. “Makes sense, I suppose. This place isn’t exactly an opera house.”

       “And we ain’t exactly opera stars,” Weird snickered. He came over to Ziggy and put a hand on his shoulder, dangling an object in midair over his other shoulder. “Not that we can’t still have fun!”

       Again Ziggy’s gaze shifted, to find that the object Weird was holding over him was a bottle of liquor. He smiled. “Don’t drink too much before the show.”

       “Aww, c’mon.” Weird turned around to survey his fellow Spiders From Mars. “I say we have a toast.”

       “Sure,” Henry agreed. “You got any glasses?”

       “Well, I—” Weird faltered, the bottle coming to rest at his side. “I mean, we could always—”

       “Drink straight from the bottle,” Henry drawled. “Brilliant.”

        “Oh, shut up, Henry.”

       As the Spiders descended into friendly bickering, Ziggy wiped his glittery fingers and studied his overall appearance in the mirror. What he saw made him smile. Ever since he’d realized that most people in this society weren’t chalk-white and rail-thin, and had evenly-sized pupils, he’d understood that he possessed an otherworldly influence, a means of asserting himself over them. To stay on the safe side, he’d done his best to blend in, settling in a climate where his skin color and physique wouldn’t stand out, claiming that his eye had been damaged in a fight, and trading the vibrant colors in which he’d arrived for conservative clothes. Such tactics may very well have kept him alive throughout those first few months that he’d spent sitting and racking his brain over what the hell he was supposed to do now that he was here. When he’d started recording and performing, all the energy that he wasn’t using to write, play guitar, and sing went towards keeping up appearances.

       It was after that fateful morning in the Aylesbury Market Square that Ziggy had realized that his current method of presenting himself to the public wasn’t going to work– not if he wanted to get out of here as quickly as possible, which he would need to do now that the Earth’s death was imminent. Therefore, he’d deliberately shed his attempts to conform. He’d sought out wilder fashion, experimented with makeup, and perhaps most crucially, had dyed his hair a color that practically forced him to stand out in a crowd. Stood out he had, and did. His was a face that drew others to it in intrigue, that brought comfort and joy to the outsiders of the world. It was a face that the right kind of people would trust to ease their hardships and to deliver them to safety from their dying planet. Never mind how unlikely it was for Ziggy to fulfill such a task. All he needed was for his audience to believe that he could.

[martuzzio]

HERMITCRAFT CATCHPHRASES

Hi, here's a (hopefully comprehensive) reference list of hermit catchphrases! The main goal here is to help writers and artists who (like me) might struggle with getting the characterization of some hermits right. Check out more info at the end of the post!

Note: this list updates a lot whenever I get new suggestions, which means reblogs aren't always fully accurate. I've linked this post to the top of my blog so it's easy to access the most recent version :)

Bdubs Shreep / uh-oh, gotta shreep! Crastle I love ya to death It’s gorgee Beyootiful Uh oh! Hell’s blazes! Hawsies YOU'LL SPEAK WHEN SPOKEN TO! Shuddup! Judas priest! Bdubs' PERFECT REDSTONE!! What in the world! Holy cow! Nuh-uh! Hoimycraaaaaf Whimsy Trying my heart out

Beef EEskall That was my nickname in college! Nailed it! Dangit! Beefy Tunes Smelly Etho Opulent Etho? Oh, yeah, I own him Eyy, I go up and I go down. Ladders! / Eyy, ladders! Beef taught Etho about redstone Oh my goodness! Oh boy! What the heck Oh, baby! Quote unquote A ton of __

Cleo Class dismissed! I don’t need your stinky torches I will break your legs Trash is fish The answer to everything is leather pants Not because it’s the sand castle you deserve, but it’s the sand castle I need! What did you do, Joe…. It's FINE, everything's FINE Lovely Silly I mean... Not gonna lie... To be fair...

Cub DA CREAMADA CROP Alright guys Nice, nice Ladies and gentlemen / ladies and gentlemen, we got ‘em Eeeeasy money Beautiful, absolutely beautiful Mmmmmhmmmmmm Holy smokes Let's goooo! Sweet Oh, baby! Man, oh man Without further ado Peace out Cheers / cheers, man There's some heat coming off that thing

Doc Are you kidding me now? Alright guys Can’t touch this The G.O.A.T. Etho, get to the damn land man! It all started when Grian touched my redstone… Epic

Etho Uh-huh Like-a so Oh snap Get your snacks! Holy smokes! Take care, have a good day, bye bye Aww snappers! Aww yeah Von Sway I barely know ‘er! Speaking of llamas Bright blue bamboo E. to the T. to the your mum Beefaroni / Beefers Speaking of llamas… That’s what she said! Free glass Eyy, I go up and I go down. Ladders! / Eyy, ladders! Suckerrrr! Check it out

False Blimey Awh dude Frick False Supremacy Oh my goodness I don't know about you guys, but... Props to __ I'm not gonna lie...

Gem Gem is great Her [name] is [adjective]! Gem will __ ("Gem will watch Impulse") Perfect! Epic It's true, I swear! Not gonna lie... Oh gosh! Trust the process Nailed it!

Grian Hello! My name is Grian Good… byeeeee! Pesky bird My heart! My little heart! Mumbo Mumbo you are AFK Can we just agree that Mumbo loses? What in Queen Elizabeth’s shiny crown was that? It wasn't me, it was the man in the chicken costume! SaAaaaAaAnd Chobblesome SCAR NO— / NO SCAR— In theory… Electric boogalooo What does this button do? What on earth? This is in shambles Get outta here! Hear me out... We don't have __. What we DO have is __ Just straight up Without further ado Crack on Bingo bango Yes. 100%

Hypno Right, right Mmhmm You guys Dang guy

Impulse What’s goin on everyone? Shovel Shuffle BEHIND YOU GEM! Peeps Geez Let's goooo! Are you kidding me? Oh, man Now we're talkin'! Holy smokes Oh my gosh How cool is that? Jeez! Dang it! Buddy Presi (for present) You bet!

Iskall Hallo -skall ("richskall") That’s mega / that’s looking absolutely mega Omega “Excuse me? Sir?” __ of doom Okay, lol And I will see you dudes in the next episode I’ve had a realization Oh for goodness sake! It’s not fat, it’s big-boned Not gonna lie SaAaaaAaAnd Very fine Great success! Bird poop Bumbo Cactoni Do you even bust? / Do you even bust bro E Pag

Jevin Hypno smells! Oh my god Sucker What the heck Dude Man I swear

Joe Howdy y’all! That’s the Joe Hills difference! I will now say a poem of my own devising Core concept Keep adventurin’! Time skip! Who’s the guy who conquers death? That’s Joe Hills No not rage quitting I have to pick up my daughter from school or my wife will rage quit me! Grow Hills / Expand Joe Joepacity / Jhost

Keralis Look into my eyes and nothing but my eyes Wanna buy a book? Spank you very much Just sit back, relax, and enjoy Like this, like that I can see my house from here! Bubbles, Shashwammy, Sweetface, Princess Lookie lookie at my cookie / lookie lookie at my cookie… no, please don’t Like-a so I love your face I’m a real boy! I don’t k-nove (know) Not like this! Booshes Clever girl But first… lemme take a selfie I’m sinking… mayday mayday we’re sinking! Hallo yes dis is de German coast guard what are you sinking about? Scary harry larry I’m alayve! Breathtaking — no you’re breathtaking Mm-kay Oh behave I’m a simple man MeOOOow Welcome to my humble abod-ee Not too shabby My face! My palms are sweaty, mom’s spaghetti Tag 2 Booga Booga Stiffy nipples Batman! First I was afraid, I was petrified...

Mumbo I worry about myself sometimes I'm not really quite sure if I like that or not Yeah… yeah that's looking good… I guess… Dude! Chuffed to bits It’s a bit pants I’m such a spoon Oh my word It’s quite simple, really / it’s actually quite simple Bonkers I’ll catch you in the next one. See ya Off you pop Oh goodness me! Hermit challenges — initiation! All done and dusted To be frankly honest Seriously seriously cool Absolutely nuts I don’t even know what to say Iskall I feel sick Peace, love, and plants Moon’s big Mumbo for Mayor Quite simple

Pearl Lovely Bonkers At this point... Cheeky / you cheeky What's this? Mate

Ren Now we’re cooking with gas / we be cooking with gas today Ladies, get in line! / ladies, gentlemen, everybody get in line! You picking up what I’m putting down My dudes Y’know what I’m sayin’ Coming atcha frommmmmm Dude Coming from left, right, and center Greetings cyberdogs and citizens of the Interwebs, this is Ren-diggity-dog comin at ya in another episode from the Hermitcraft server (ey!) Automagically Jazztastic Janktastic Oh baby Like nobody’s business Looking absolutely magnificent Anyhoozle Twaddle Renstone The Octagon is a well-oiled machine! [word]-age [word]-ation [word]-i (to make things plural You love / hate to see it I'm just sayin' / if you know what I'm sayin' Professional __ Jazz Anyhoozle Exqueeze me? Freakin' Some serious __ What's happenin', baby? Chesticles

Scar Scarred for life Woah, what in the world! It’s gonna be am-ay-zing LOOK at the siiiiize of that Well, hello there my fellow miners and crafters, GoodTimesWithScar here. Welcome back to the wonderful world of Hermits and crafting Don’t forget to subscribe or you might just become scarrrred for life! Looking super fancy Let’s hit super fast build mode! Look at the size of that Appreciate ya Hotguy! Operation: Aquathunder! That’s what she said! Rapscallion You silly goose Oh, sweet baby Jellie! Bayum! / Bam! The bee's knees Easy peasy, orangey squeezy

Stress Are you havin’ a giggle? / are you takin the mic? Mate Oh my god / oh my gosh / oh my good gordons Gorgeous Plonker Geezer Ohhhhh nooooo! Yeeeesshhh I legged it Such a pro / I'm such a pro Proper __ Cheeky Bloke Thingamajig Ain't [word]-age [word]-ies

Tango Happy fun sauce -ificator, -inator, -ness, -tastic Skadoodle Fearsome bunny slippers Noob juice So here’s the deal Holding shift Shwoop Flim flam Poop came out Extra dumb with dumb sauce / __ of extra dumb Flee with extra flee! / fleeing with terror! Boom booms Gah! The dungeon is ready for its next victim Behold! Results may vary! I think my math is correct, but it’s been known to be wrong This is the worst timeline. I hate everything Big no! You— you freak of nature! Jerkface Jerkbutt Excellent How embarassing This is true Zombert Bits This I gotta see! Right in the face! [word] is happening Yeah baby! Stupid jerks Boop This is the best / worst thing ever! Niner niner niner [general unintelligible noises]

TFC What in tarnation! Crap-tacular Humongous Butt-ugly Ugly as sin Oh, goody Ender-twits Bugger Oh, fart For crying out loud

Wels Words are hard If you will Super __

xB Aww yeah Mmkay Son of a biscuit Pretty frickin' __ Man Get frickin' wrecked! Chestacle Dang it Staaph it Oy vey Crap on a cracker Dang it, Bobby! Dang guy

Xisuma Oh goodness me Oh dangit Geez Peeps I’m such a derp Oh my days Chooturial Issooma Allo Woa’ah Brought (instead of bought) My dude Achacha

Zed Hello hello hello A-good a-bye Muckin' about I lied TaaaAAnnGoOOooooOOOo Hu-jah! Pretty darn __ Certainly Rubbish I'm [word]-ing [word] me [word]-iness What happens is... Get kersplatted! Epic Oh my goodness!

More Info

So I'm currently writing a HC fic and realized how little I know about some of the hermits (I unfortunately don't have time to watch all of them), which made it really difficult to depict them properly in my writing. I'm assuming at least some of you might also struggle with this, so, here we are!

If you know of a catchphrase from any hermit from any season, comment, reblog, send me a an ask or dm, dm me on discord, whatever works the best :D

Note: when I say "catchphrase," I mean anything a hermit repeats over an extended period of time. It can be something said during a single season (like "You'll speak when spoken to!" or "Hermit Challenges!"), or something that spans their entire careers (like "Aww snappers!" or "Plonker"). I'm not looking for one-off quotes that are never bought up again — there's some great sources (like @hermitcraft-correct-quotes) for that already :)

Sources (which will hopefully expand with time): This reddit post from four years ago This other reddit post also from four years ago Reddit from three years ago This cute diagram A more up to date source Another Xisuma's dictionary on his website HC character tv tropes page This incredible google doc

[everykindofnerd13]

Dude I love haikyuu so much. That’s basically my catchphrase rn. I call my friend and open the conversation with “I love Haikyuu” and proceed to wax poetic about the intricacies of Kageyama and Hinata’s relationship. Or the parallels between Oikawa and Kageyama. Or how Haikyuu is such a perfectly written story because even though we will always want more we will never feel that we are left wanting.

Haikyuu had an incredible beginning, middle, and end. Every character and arc felt intentional and essential. And at the end of the manga there is not one character who I feel needed just that little bit more development. Sure would I have liked to see more timeskip? Absolutely. Would I KILL to see Hinata’s second and third years of highschool and the evolution of the Karasuno first year’s relationship, in a heartbeat. But I don’t feel like it was necessary.

That’s what makes Haikyuu so good, every moment felt necessary and it added to the plot. Even the dumb silly little moments where they’re just teenage boys being teenage boys. I fact that ADDS to it. So much of haikyuu’s story is about Hinata is learning and growing and improving, and it’s because he is meeting and loving and encouraging. Like how do I explain this? Hinata, to me, is a character who cares so much that it forces the people around him to care.

Especially his teammates. I’m sure there are arguments to be made for other characters, but Hinata is the HEART of Karasuno. He’s literally the one who gets their blood pumping. I MEAN COME ON IN THE NATIONALS NEKOMA V KARASUNO MATCH KENMA LITERALLY DESCRIBES THE TEAM AS A GROUP OF HINATAS WHEN THEYRE PUMPED UP. He is their energy. And in return they are his support. If Hinata is the heart then they are the rest of the body. I could give you an analogy for each one but I don’t have to because you can see it, once Hinata starts pumping up, everyone else falls into their role with ease.

He is such a perfect MC and I LOVE HIM. And I LOVE HAIKYUU. AND IM SO GLAD THAT IT DIDNT GO ON FOREVER OR END WITH HUNDREDS OF UNANSWERED QUESTIONS. The fate of a story is for it to end. And the purpose of a story is for it to teach. And the desire of a story is for it to create emotion. And Haikyuu did all of these things so well. I could go on and on, I’m sure as you’ve already noticed, but it’s just because I LOVE IT SO MUCH.

I genuinely recommend Haikyuu to anyone as a first anime, it’s entertaining, it’s reasonably concise, and it’s deeply moving. Haikyuu tells a good meaningful story with action and excitement and grief and despair all without ever causing any real harm. Haikyuu creates the feeling of a villain while also giving you the gift of another perspective on the court.

It is. Amazing. I love Haikyuu. If you made it this far, thank you and good night.

[a-very-cute-snake]

Dnd is a power fantasy but not in the way people who don't play dnd usually think it is. It's the power fantasy of getting to act out your stupid little ideas and go stupid go crazy for a while.

Evil duke exploiting the people? RAY OF SICKNESS bastard duke is now puking all over his baby seal leather boots. You'll probably almost die to his guards but by god you got to dunk on him.

Putting on a show for whatever reason? Sparkles. Gaudy costumes. Cheesy dramatics. Wildshape into a bear for no reason other than random bear. Accidentally set the stage on fire.

Want to be a funny little gnome guy with a stupid catchphrase? Go ham my guy, wear a silly hat to complete the look. Save a kingdom in the stupidest ways possible.

[sebastian-ciel-mutual-bullying]

I'm in love with Sebastian and Ciel's dynamic.

I can't find another dynamic/relationship like theirs. It's so unique

They care about each other, they hate each other, they need each other, they're best friends, they're master and servant, they're predator and prey, owner and pet, human and demon.

They're passive-aggressive towards each other. They reuse each other's jokes. They BULLY each other (thats where my name comes from lol)

They're teaching and learning from each other. They imitate one another (both unintentionally and intentionally). Sebastian is raising Ciel. Ciel is changing who the demon named Sebastian is. They're protective. They're possessive.

And Sebastian himself is such a unique character. I can't find another character like him. He's suave, deliberate, patient, and capable. He can do anything when he sets his mind to it. He's a dominant presence but chooses to be submissive. He is mysterious but not secretive. Seb is incredibly smart and witty, and sharp minded. Despite being a cold and calculated person on the outside, he can't help but show every emotion on his face.

Seb can't help but emote and express himself even when he's alone. He smiles genuinely when he's with a cat. He talks to himself aloud when he's aggravated by a task or trying to think of a solution. He even laughs to himself.

Seb can be whiny, silly, and petty. I'd say that he values having fun in his role more than anything (aside from his meal). The man makes up little catchphrases and jokes for himself. He likes to get creative with things that don't need to be all that excessive, just to show that he can. I imagine making an overelaborate chocolate statue for a charity event was fun to him (despite the stress of fixing the servant's mistakes).

He lets himself get "hurt feelings" over small things (if you could call it that).

Sebastian gets upset when someone calls him old. He's confused when Soma says that he's "not kind." He frets over Ciel's outfits and gets personally offended by Nina Hopkins. His cooking MUST be the best, or his feelings will get hurt. An apathetic response breaks his demon heart (not actually).

Sebastian has to be the center of everything, and if he isn't, he will make it about himself. All of his energy goes into making sure that he- and the things he does- are beyond perfect. He's super extra. Is he having fun? Probably.

And when it comes to Ciel, Sebastian shows something that's strikingly similar to care, pride, attachment, affection, and admiration.

(He may even actually feel those things )

There's so much more to appreciate about him. Yana is such an amazing writer

[gremlinmodetweeker]

Hey there! I really enjoy your posts about our resistant big boy König. I was wondering if you could create some hcs for the reader pampering him and taking care of him. Like maybe he has a stomach ache, so the reader gives him an abdominal massage or something if you’re comfortable with writing something like that. <3

Okay so first, I'm so sorry for being late. I got super busy this week. I've gone on three 6 hour long drives in the past four days. Three!!! I've been travelling north and my lord I'm bouncing all over the place. But, you're not here for me whinging about driving, we're here for the 'RESIDENT BIG BOY'.

I'm taking notes on that one, btw. That one's too good not to use. Resident Big Boy is now the best way to describe him. But yes, I am more than glad to go over some headcannons! König is a very silly man when he gets a bit under the weather, so let's go over why below the cut.

To put it bluntly, König is a big suck. He really is. He's emotionally mature enough to know that he's overreacting, but he's trained to deal with the worst, not mild inconveniences. For him, having a full fever is easier than dealing with a small problem. The worst part of it all is that it's usually self inflicted.

König doesn't really get colds. He also doesn't really get hurt badly (unless he's come back from a mission, but that's another post entirely). He's careful, neat and considerate with his actions. That said, he has these moments where you really have to question how he's still alive.

You see, König has this little saying that he learned from his family. It's his catchphrase, at this point. Horangi groans whenever he hears it. Stilleto puts her head in her hands. Hutch's eyes glaze over as he looks far off into the distance and shakes his head, quietly muttering, "It's not right, man. It's not right." With all these reactions, you might be wondering what exactly is König's favourite catchphrase?

"It's not an expiry date, it's a best by date."

König has had food poisoning many times.

So when König goes on a whole rant about how 'it's not that moldy, just eat around it', the whole company knows to just wait. Almost like clockwork, the only thing König will be eating for the next 24 hours are his words.

When he's sick, he'll go home and he'll make it your problem. His stomach will be cramping, he'll be spewing vomit like a sprinkler, and he'll be stuck in the bathroom for hours at a time. When he crawls out, you'll be there for him.

You'll have to change his bedding religiously for him. He's sweating up a storm over here. Each time you do, he'll thank you profusely and then collapse into bed.

You'll have to change his bucket. He has a designated vomit bucket (he's gotten food poisoning enough to have one marked and ready for the occasion). He'll always thank you and hold your hand. Thankfully, the military forces him to keep short hair so you don't have to hold that back, but he does really appreciate you rubbing his back. Honestly, who doesn't? It's the least you can do for someone turning their stomach inside out.

With his cramps, he'll pretend he's fine but at this point, you probably know better than to believe him when he says it doesn't hurt that much. Instead, get him a nice supply of heat packs for the worst cramps. However, he much prefers you holding him or rubbing his stomach. It's much more comfortable. He's so happy to have someone care for him like this. He might not be able to give back while he's sick, but he won't forget your kindness to him. He'll pay it back three-fold soon enough.

Every time you make him a light soup, every time you carefully feed him a plain salad or some cut fruit, he's delighted. He knows it might be coming back up in less than an hour, but he's grateful for anything you provide him. As long as it's edible, he'll eat it. (Just please remember to stay away from foods that are hard to digest, like protein, dairy and carbs. Maybe some plain toast with his soup is alright, but it's a good idea to give sick people simple food. Just a pro tip.)

He will curl up to you and use you as a blanket when he gets cold. He will soak up your heat like he's in the ice age. He can't get enough of your gentle touches or soft words. He clings to them as he clings to you, a suffocating embrace.

When you are too hot, he'll begrudgingly roll away and kick off all his blankets and sheets. That's a good sign that maybe you can step away and do some household chores for him. The house doesn't clean itself, after all. When he can appreciate your hard work properly, he'll gladly kiss you and hold you close. However for now, he'll just curl up and lay perpendicular to you and lay his head on your abdomen when you get back. He may not be able to kiss you right now, but he'll gladly curl up on the mattress with you.

Sometimes, he might need help walking to and from the bathroom, and that's always an ordeal. Unless you're strong enough, he'll just have you both toppling over in a heap of sickness and sweat. It'll be miserable. Instead, he'll have to force himself to stand a bit so he won't have you losing your balance. When he collapses back in the bed, he'll huff and puff and grumble about the bathroom being too far, but he'll live. Maybe take the time to run your hands through his hair and scratch his scalp. He'd like that quite a bit.

Anyways, I hope these are some decent headcannons! I am most certainly comfortable writing things like this, and you've inspired a post about König getting fully sick, and how to deal with that! I also might make one about him dealing with minor injuries, like stubbing a toe or spraining a muscle while training. I imagine this guy is an amazing survivalist, but his civilian survival skills are akin to that of a lemming.

[pappikapon]

kanon and nicolina differences! ( headcanons ofc )

- i think that nicorins features would be slightly sharper, but still maintaining the same gentleness kanon has!

- ofc she has no signature kanon jellyfish gonads in her hair

- both hair textures are the same and would be indiscernible if nicorin let her hair the down. nicorin’s hair has yellow highlights while kanon’s are salmon but this is just my silly shading nitpicks. kanon’s hair is also bluer than nicorin’s

- nicorins irises are darker, and she has no freckles. i think she’d be a little paler too

- kanon has ‘fuee…’ so i think nicolina deserves a catchphrase too. my vote is on ‘I’m really going to do it this time…’ or perhaps ‘Fiddlesticks…’ as a more formal option

- kanon has thicker eyebrows too. they’re rounder than this art but it was 4am when i drew it

[istadris]

More about that plotbunny of Bowser hiring Luigi as a dealer for one of his casinos.

(Disclaimer: lots and lots of artistic liberties about how casinos and card games work, this is Mario world after all)

At first, Bowser doesn't want to hire Luigi. At. ALL. If it was just up to him, he would just punt the nerd back to Mushroom Kingdom.

But as Kamek points out, not only did he give his word, but if he fires someone just for being good for the job they're applying for, what kind of message is it sending ? If there is one reason Bowser's kingdom is running smoothly despite the regular beatings the kings gets from a pair of silly plumbers, it's the good work relationship between Bowser and his troops : he's a demanding boss, but not an unfair one.

Plus, it's bad enough he fails regularly his world invasions, but hey, world conquest is a hard job, so that's forgivable. But being a sore loser at a card games ?? That's not a good look for Bowser.

So fine. Green Mario is hired in a big show of pretending to acknowledge his enemy's skills. At least Bowser will be able to pretend he's bossing around the actual Mario for a while.

Doesn't mean he can't get his revenge otherwise.

Yes, he can't fire Luigi...but if Luigi is too weak to hold under pressure and quit, that's not on Bowser, is it ?

So Bowser nonchalantly orders the casino manager to make sure the new hire knows what he's in for. Or in other words, push him so hard he quits on his own.

At first Luigi is just put on slot machine filling duty; a boring, tedious job with a lot of noises and loud clients everywhere. Luigi bears it ; he's done that gig before and he's seen much worse as a full time plumber. And while he's doing that job, he befriends several of the maintenant workers, who for the most part are kinda curious about what a human (and a Mario Brother, no less) is doing here.

He's also very, very clumsy. To the point the manager starts to wonder how this is the same guy who beat Bowser at poker. And you know what, he's curious. Screw what Bowser said, until the king butted his head in the job interview, the human had an interesting resume and the manager is not losing more money, he wants to know what the new guy can actually do.

He puts Luigi at one of the tables as his last chance. Either he makes money, or he's out.

And Luigi makes money.

A.

Lot.

Of money.

Bowser visits the casino around about that time, already gloating inside : surely by now that wimp has run back to Mario crying, right ?

Instead he sees Luigi at one of the main Picture Poker tables, charming up the players (and it's something Bowser never expected to see, Luigi being confident and charming -wait why is he finding him charming ??) and large piles of coins piling up on his table.

Turns out, when your casino's style is mostly built around reminding players how tough and impossible to beat you are, a friendly and innocent-looking dealer who encourages you with dorky catchphrases and a cute little laugh is a BIG draw for players who think they still have a chance.

Bowser is FURIOUS (and just slightly horny). But he still can't fire Luigi; not only is he good at his job, but by now word has spread of how Luigi has been hired in the first place, making it very hard to not look like he's a sore loser who can't even win a card came against the "weaker" Mario Brother.

Brother who has the GALL to offer him to play at his table. And smiling on top of that!! That cheeky little thing !!

On his way out, Bowser grabs the manager by the collar : next time he's back, Luigi better has walked out on his own.

The manager appreciates Luigi's work, but he's not putting his job on the line for the new guy. But he's here to make money, and now he's decided to squeeze Luigi out of every coin the human can bring to the casino.

He increases his hours, raises the amount of money he's supposed to make every night, gives him back-to-back shifts, sends the most agressive players to his table (although the bouncers step in if things get too heated).

Usually a dealer is just here to deal, keep count, welcome players, announce hands, that sort of thing. But in Darklands casinos, there are special tables where you can play against the dealer, either on one-on-one or as a normal table; the games there are very high-stake, in an all-or-nothing fashion : you win against the casino, you earn a LOT.

It's the toughest job of the casino : not only the dealer is both player and house, but given these are high stakes games, you can't just put a newbie in charge there. You need a shark, a cold-blooded, lucky son of a bitch who can handle pressure.

The manager sends Luigi there : "you screw up, you're out". Piling up more and more pressure on the poor human's shoulders. As for the other dealers, they feel sorry for the new guy but they certainly won't stick out their necks for him.

But despite the stress and hostile conditions, Luigi isn't Mario's brother for nothing : despite his meek, non confrontational personality, Luigi can be extremely stubborn. He doesn't want to give anyone the satisfaction of seeing him quit and so he holds on.

Thankfully, he's got unexpected allies on his side : the maintenance/cleaning crew he's befriended before are outraged at the treatment and decide to help him out. Sneaking him treats and drinks on long night, disturbing games so he's got an easier time winning, arranging tables and chairs to make the other tables less attractive, hiding stuff around. Of course the other dealers notice and some of them are furious...but some start to realise that if Luigi is expected to hold up such high standards, what if these standards become the norm ? And they realise they really don't want such workplace conditions.

Things are getting out off hand. Revolt is brewing in the casino. Bowser gets winds of it and is tempted to close everything on a whim, but Kamek steps in yelling about the revenues the casino makes and how Bowser should get the situation back under control.

Screaming won't solve things, as the entire crew is one bad word away from quitting or going on strike. And he's not going to negotiate with Luigi!

Kamek : "Sir, either fire him or get revenge on him but DO SOMETHING ! He's the mastermind behind this conspiracy!

(He's really not.)

...fine, Bowser decides, he's going to negotiate with Luigi.

Who still doesn't want to quit.

But offers Bowser a deal :

One game a night, until they go through all the casino games. They count each victory and once the total is done, if Bowser has more points, Luigi walks out. If Luigi has more, he gets back a normal work schedule and he can finally focus on his damn job.

It's a stupid wager. It's ridiculous. It's outrageous. Insulting, even.

And Bowser still takes the wager.

Because he finally picks up on something: for some reason, even after everything, Luigi wants to play against him.

You can guess where this goes.