#a small edit for the tags. i hope the ending of this poem reads a bit like relief and/or acceptance

[poetryoutloud]

sleep for the unfinished - v.w.

[kittykittyhunter]

The Archive

Introduction On 14 June 2020, I accidentally deleted my tumblr, wiping out a blog that I had been maintaining since January 2011.  I was distraught due to losing a lot of fond memories – and crushed at the thought of so much of my writing disappearing.  I hadn’t been very disciplined about keeping offline back-ups of my work, so when my blog disappeared, so did a large collection of poems, short stories, vignettes and fanfics.

Over the last few years, I’ve steadily recovered a decent chunk of my writing (about 300 pieces) thanks to my friends reblogging my posts and being diligent with their tagging systems.  I’ve now been able to archive and remaster my poems and prose pieces – though my fanfiction remains in the ether (which, to be honest, I’m okay with). On that note, I would like to express immense gratitude to the people whose blogs I recovered my works from:

alistersangelsong

@brattyhalfpint

caitsylph

@houkou-nrl

jirohoushi

kara-kitsu-x

kasukasumoe

@kidasbrainspace

@kunimitsuchin

lassinajumper

@lenandbonten

@mono-frog

@mon-qi

seethebattlefield

@s-ephiroth

@tacotits

@ten-thousands-hobbits

thunderdownongreenside-archive

I know a lot of these bloggers either are no longer on tumblr or use these accounts (and tumblr wouldn't allow me to tag everyone?); even so, I want to share my thanks. And thank you to everyone else who read, shared or otherwise enjoyed my writing over the years.  I hope that it inspired deep feelings and I hope that it bought you comfort.  I want you to know that I wouldn’t still be pursuing writing if it wasn’t for all the support you sent my way.  I read and savoured your comments and tags and, I promise you, I am grateful for all the love I received. Methodology While it would have been simpler to reblog the old posts, save for those that were trapped under a Read More (and a fair few pieces fell into this category), for this archiving project, I opted to take the opportunity to edit my works (also, I didn’t particularly want to bombard my friends’ notes by reblogging ancient posts).  This gave me a chance to appropriately re-format some works which had, unfortunately, originally looked quite ugly! The editing process was incredibly interesting – I ended up making changes to almost all my posts, so it’s good to know that I’ve definitely grown as a reader and writer over the last decade.  A very small number of the posts were brand new for the blog, but at this stage, I’m happy to count them as part of my archive.  For me, it’s important to compartmentalise and draw a divide between the writing I shared then and the writing that I will, hopefully, go on to pen in the future. I’m still in the process of proofreading: some of my tags have typos and there are certainly some errant dashes, among other issues, here and there.  Nevertheless, I’m satisfied with the state of things for now. Some posts are titled [‘Circa …’].  If I had been savvier about using tumblr mobile in conjunction with the web version, I could have recovered all of the exact dates of my original posts.  However, what’s done is done and I am satisfied with what I was able to accomplish. Statistics I love numbers – here are some interesting graphs regarding my posts:

Posts by Form - Prose – 37 - Poems – 271 Total – 308

No. of Posts by Year - 2012 – 1 - 2013 – 4 - 2014 – 21 - 2015 – 61 - 2016 – 114 - 2017 – 44 - 2018 – 22 - 2019 – 16 - 2020 – 20 - 2022 – 4 - 2024 – 1 Total – 308 There’s definitely a lot of writing that I wasn’t able to track down: in 2016, for example, I believe that I posted 366 poems.  Still, I’m pleased with the works that I did find – it was great to rediscover works that I’d completely forgotten about. I think that draws this post to a close.  Thanks for reading!

[lyrsui]

currently working on a poetry manuscript,

and that's been true for the last four years. but around this time in 2019, i had a handful of poems, and i had some vague ideas of what i was writing about--at first i thought i was writing a satirical commentary on internet culture, but then as i wrote more and more, i had these other pieces that were like... sadder. in early versions of the book, i tried to tell a straightforward sort of "story" but the poems didn't work quite that way. so, i found other ways to sort them.

so, what have i accomplished since then?

in the fall of 2019, i probably had like 6-8 poems tops

then i signed up for a yearlong writing program at the start of 2020. it was costly, but it helped me a lot. it was a crash course in poetry. i read books. i wrote new poems. at the end of the program, mid-2021, i had something like 20-25 poems, but i was not yet at a full-length count.

i spent another year writing poems on my own. i joined a writing workshop or two but mostly i wrote in solitude. i finally got to about 35 poems by the summer of 2022. i felt hopeful.

in fall 2022, i submitted my manuscript to first book contests. i had done a lot of revising on my own. i asked a person or two to be my beta-readers. i felt good about most of my poems, as i had been diligently revising the 2019 drafts to their best, and i was nervous about the newer pieces but happy to have them included.

i received a lot of rejections. but i had two poems published online, and a third included in a horror poetry anthology. i was also named a semifinalist for one of the book contests i'd entered. these were all small wins.

i took a break from the poetry stuff to focus on school, then on job hunting. now things in my life have settled down and i am back to thinking about poetry.

i signed up for a poetry conference this weekend, where real live editors offer their genuine feedback and talk craft with us. i'm excited by the opportunity. i was given the first ten pages of notes and some of it was cutting, but goodness it's been so long since i really had sharp feedback on my work, and i am appreciative of it nonetheless. the conference runs till Monday morning. the notes are truly invaluable.

i plan to pursue an MFA in 2025, which would only be an extension of the $$$$ i am invested in my writing already. the yearlong workshop was several thousand, the conference a couple thousand as well. the manuscript consultations i plan to pay for will also run me a few hundred each, and the submission fees add up quick. truly, no one is lying when they say that writing is a pursuit mired in privilege. I am grateful to work a day job that makes a lot of all this easier, but it's cushioned work, isn't it? i recognize that more and more lately.

i am not mentioning the price tags to brag, but really just to highlight that money has felt so necessary in lieu of organic connections or inner networks. money isn't buying me placements in top tier lit mags but i feel like it is buying me the notes and feedback to guide my revision towards stronger poems that may one day be lit mag worthy.

i am excited by the work ahead. invigorated by the energy of knowing i have work worth launching into the world. i plan to use october to edit and refine, as there are many upcoming contests and i want to have better drafts to send along than i sent last year.

i plan to sign up for more paid workshops that will help me with drafting my fiction. i only have one short story under my belt, and i'd like to slowly round out that list too, eventually having three then five then ten, all in rotation to lit mags submissions too. i want my name to hold weight eventually. to become familiar.

it feels really good to have clear dreams and a clear plan for my writing career. my goal is to work on these poems and continue trying to place them. to partake in writing programs that may help me get exposure to other editors and mentors, etc. i hope that by the time i am ready to apply to MFA programs that I will be able to ask for a reference or two out of these workshops. by the time i apply for a poetry MFA, i hope to just use the published poems and an unpublished one or two as well, to feel confident about my abilities. then i'll generate a second book of poetry, who knows about what, and publish that too.

it's all fun to think about!

[spencers-renaissance]

let him be soft (and let him be mine) p.1

Summary: After Derek pulls another self-sacrificing stunt at the culmination of their most recent case, Spencer runs out of their apartment as he desperately grapples with how it makes him feel.

or; Derek's self-sacrificing tendencies meet Spencer's abandonment issues. It gets messy before it gets better.

Tags: hurt/comfort, crying, abandonment issues, injured!derek, hurt!spencer, miscommunication, angst with a happy ending, fluff, protective!derek

TW: abadonment issues, allusions to grief/loss, some religious imagery (a catholic church and a priest have a small role in the plot)

Pairing: Derek Morgan x Spencer Reid

Word Count: 2.4k Total Word Count: 4.5k

Masterlist // Read on AO3 // Emily's Edit 1 2 3

Colab Alert! Emily (@criminalmindsvibez) and I have worked together on a project based on this poem. Her edits and my fic go hand in hand, so go and check hers out! She will be posting part 2 and 3 of her edit tomorrow and Friday respectively, and I'll be posting part 2 of this fic on Friday, too!! It's been so fun to work together, so please go and reblog her beautiful edit <3

The Poem:

Please, let him be soft.

I know you made him       with gunmetal bones      and wolf’s teeth. I know you made him to be      a warrior      a soldier      a hero.

But even gunmetal can warp and even wolf’s teeth can dull and I do not want to see him break the way old and worn and overused things do.

I do not want to see him go up in flames      the way all heroes end up martyrs.

I know that you will tell me  that the world needs him. The world needs his heart      and his faith      and his courage      and his strength      and his bones and his teeth and his blood and his voice and his– The world needs anything he will give them.

Damn the world,      and damn you too. Damn anyone that ever asked anything of him,      damn anyone that ever took anything from him,            damn anyone that ever prayed to his name. You know that he will give them everything      until there is nothing left of him          but the imprint of dust               where his feet once trod. You know that he will bear the world like Atlas     until his shoulders collapse          and his knees buckle               and he is crushed by all he used to carry.

Dear God,  you have already made an Atlas. You have already made an Achilles and an Icarus and a Hercules.  You have already made so many heroes, and you can make another again.  You can have your pick of heroes.

So please, I beg you– he is all that I have,  and you have so many heroes and the world has so many more.  Let him be soft,  and let him be mine.

—Please, let him be happy ( j.p. )

The Fic:

Spencer offers Derek a weak smile as they sink into their seats on the jet. It’s all he can really manage, considering the emotional exhaustion the case had brought on, fatigue settling deep into his bones as he relaxes into the comfortable fabric of his chair. He keeps his eyes closed to avoid Derek’s anxious, imploring gaze for as long as possible, but he can’t help them opening on instinct as soon as the plane takes off the ground, and his stomach does its familiar vault at the increasing G forces.

“Baby?” Derek asks softly, as soon as he sees Spencer’s eyes flutter open. “What’s wrong?”

Spencer sighs, turning his head to face the evening sunset for a brief moment before looking back to his boyfriend. “I’m just tired, Der,” he lies, throwing in what he hopes is a reassuring smile to try and seal the deal.

It seems to work, some of the anxiety relaxing from his face — though, Spencer notes, the slightly pained expression remains — as he reaches across the table in between them to take Spencer’s hand. He complies, placing his hand in Derek’s and allowing himself to relish in the comfort of his warm, protective hold despite how he’s feeling.

“I’m sorry, Spence. We’ll get dinner from that Thai place and head straight to bed when we get home, yeah? You’ll feel better then.”

Spencer can’t help the flare of anger in his chest at that — so strong he has to shut his eyes tightly against it for a second. How can Derek not realise what’s wrong? How can he sit opposite him, bruised, cracked ribs and all, and not understand that everything is not at all ‘eat Thai food in bed’ okay?

He forces his eyes open again. “Yeah. That sounds good.”

Derek squeezes his hand once before letting go and thankfully, finally, dropping the subject. The sunset is a pretty blend of pinks and oranges as they fly down from New Jersey towards home, but Spencer doesn’t focus on the aesthetics of the sky. Not when that awful, tiny voice keeps whispering in the back of his head: how many sunsets does Derek have left?

⭐️

It might have been a lie, but the tired excuse seems to work. Derek doesn’t try to make conversation with him on the drive to DC, instead settling for reassuring touches that Spencer finds himself pressing back into despite himself.

He dives straight for the shower once they get back to their apartment, vaguely hearing Derek on the phone placing their standard Thai order as he sheds his restrictive suit and steps into the shower, immediately relaxing as the hot water cascades down his back. All of a sudden, the weight of the case catches up to him and he lets himself cry. Afterall, his desperate, grief-filled sobs can’t be heard over the water and he can blame his sore, red eyes on the shampoo.

When his tears eventually dry up and he exits the warm bathroom into the air-conditioned apartment, Derek’s sat on the edge of their bed fiddling with his phone next to an outfit of Spencer’s favourite loungewear neatly laid out. He always does it and it always makes Spencer smile, but this time his heart just clenches painfully and he has to fight back the hot tears threatening to spill down his cheeks.

“Hey, baby,” Derek says, voice concerned at the sight of his visibly upset boyfriend. His wince as he gets off the bed to come over to Spencer is the final straw, though, and he can’t help the violent, choked sob that forces its way past his lips, his body heaving with the myriad of emotions running rampant. “Spencer?”

He ignores him as he drops his towel and hurriedly pulls on the clothes Derek set out for him, tears spilling down his cheeks one after the other, indicating no sign of slowing down anytime soon.

“Spencer? Baby?” he pleads desperately as Spencer continues to ignore him. “I know you’re tired, but this isn’t like you. Why—”

“No!” he cries, turning to face him. “It’s not like me! Because even though I feel like this after every case I’m usually so good at holding it in! But I can’t do it anymore, Derek. I can’t keep feeling like this.”

“Baby, talk to me,” Derek begs. “We can work this out, we’ll figure this out together, but I can’t help you if I don’t know what’s wrong.”

All of a sudden, it’s too much. Standing there in their bedroom facing his injured, self-sacrificing, perfect boyfriend as emotion and fear choke the life out of him is killing him, and all he can do is grab his phone, hastily pull on a pair of shoes, and run out of the apartment.

If it wasn’t for his bruised ribs — Christ, if it wasn’t for Derek being shot not four hours earlier — Spencer never would have outrun him, but as it stands, he escapes the apartment building with only Derek’s pleading cries following him.

He runs through the streets of DC, half-blind from unshed tears, until he sees a bus coming down the road, and before he can overthink it, he’s boarding, paying, and taking a seat right at the back. The streets outside blur as the bus accelerates down the street and the tears he’d been holding back since he left the apartment, spill over, joining the countless tear tracks already decorating his cheeks.

Soon he’s not seeing the vibrant streets of the Adams Morgan district anymore, his brain replaying the shoot-out that ended the case instead. They’d finally cornered their suspect in a dilapidated barn in the middle of nowhere, and Spencer had honestly thought that their attempts to talk him down were working, when he’d suddenly pointed his gun straight at JJ. Derek had easily predicted his next move and wasted no time in pushing her out the way, diving straight into the bullet’s trajectory, shot in the middle of his vest.

Hotch had taken care of the unsub and Spencer had gone straight to Derek’s side, his heart in his mouth as fear overrode rationality with ease. He’d been fine: checked out by an ambulance on site and prescribed some moderate painkillers and a few days rest until his ribs healed up, but Spencer had struggled to see it so positively.

Anger flares up in his chest again at the memory of Derek’s blatant disregard for his own well-being. JJ’s a trained and experienced agent: she could have shot the unsub before he even took the shot if Derek hadn’t pushed her aside, and even if she hadn’t, why was it better for Derek to take the bullet than JJ?

As much as he tries not to take it personally, part of him can’t really help but feel hurt. What if the bullet had missed the vest? What if Derek was really shot? He could have so easily died — in an alternate universe, Spencer is mourning the tragic loss of his boyfriend right now. Does he really not care that all this heroic self-sacrifice could leave Spencer a grieving widow one day?

He feels selfish. The world needs Derek: it needs his heart and his courage and his fierce sense of justice, it needs him to fight for the underdog, it needs him to stop at nothing to apprehend the bad guy, it needs anything he can give them.

But in this moment, Spencer doesn’t care anymore. He doesn’t care about what the world needs. He cares about what Dr Spencer Reid, book nerd and genius prodigy of Nevada needs, and that’s his boyfriend, alive, next to him.

The bus passes a church and Spencer immediately presses the button, getting off at the next stop and retracing the road until he’s standing in front of the beautiful architecture of a Catholic Church. Peace and quiet is exactly what he needs right now, so he takes a deep breath and walks through the heavy wooden doors into the building.

The smell Spencer associates with the churches he’d visit in his childhood when William would dress them up and parade them around a church as the perfect little family for as long as Diana’s meds lasted hits him as soon as he crosses the threshold, and something about it feels comforting. He walks through the small foyer and into the main congregation hall, thankful that no service is taking place. There’s a woman in a pew at the front with her head bowed, but otherwise it’s completely empty, and it emboldens him enough to slip into the back row.

He lets himself zone out, taking in the stained glass windows and the elaborate arcades as well as the ornate statues and decorations around the nave as his mind finally drifts from the torture of his thoughts.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” a voice asks, snapping him out of his trance. He looks over to see a priest standing just to his right, a kind look on his face.

“Uh— yes,” Spencer replies, a little flustered. “Very. An old friend of mine did a PhD in the history of church architecture years ago, but even his high praise doesn’t do it justice in person.”

“Not a regular church-goer, I take it?” the priest asks, smiling warmly.

“Not sure the church would be happy to have me,” he says drily, “on the account that I live with my boyfriend.”

The priest’s face saddens at that. “Would you mind if I sat?”

“As long as you don’t try and convert me.”

He laughs at that, taking a seat next to Spencer. “That’s not my job anyway,” he reassures him. “God takes care of that side of things.”

Spencer nods once, before looking down at his fidgeting fingers.

“What’s led a non-Christian to a Catholic Church on a random Tuesday evening, then?” the priest asks warmly.

“Oh… I’m not sure you’d want to hear about it,” Spencer says awkwardly, blushing a bit at the thought of discussing his relationship troubles with a priest.

“Try me.”

Spencer takes a deep breath. After all, he desperately wants to talk about this with someone, and who better than a completely impartial person whose opinion doesn’t matter anyway?

“I work for the FBI,” he starts, “I have done for nearly a decade now. It’s where I met my boyfriend, actually; we work for the Behavioural Analysis Unit. I love the job, it’s given me pretty much everything I have, really, but… but I don’t know how much longer I can do it.” He takes a shaky breath in to try and abate the tears again, but when the priest lays a warm hand over his own, he can’t hold them back anymore.

“Derek— Derek is so strong. He’s fierce and he’s powerful and he’s a hero, and I used to be so proud of him for that, I still am, but now… all it does is scare me. Today he took a bullet for another team member, he pushed her out of the way and it landed in his own vest. He’s fine, but this isn’t the first time he’s done something like this. He’s run into burning buildings, driven bombs across cities to stop them from blowing up in a populated area, thrown himself into the line of fire to save others countless times, but one day… he won’t be so lucky.

“One day, it’s going to catch up to him, and he’s going to be killed by his own calling. He’s so selfless that he’s truly going to give everything to the job until it kills him… and where does that leave me?” He looks up and meets the priest’s kind, empathetic gaze for the first time, comforted by the reassurance he finds there.

“I never really had a family. My father walked out when I was ten and left me with my sick and confused mother, knowing that she couldn’t take care of me, knowing that he was leaving his child to take care of his mother for the next eight years. When I found the BAU, I found a family, and I found Derek. I love my whole team, but when it comes down to it, he’s all I really have left.

“If he stays in this job, I’m going to end up alone. There will never be another person for me, not after Derek. When people sit in this very building and pray for justice,” Spencer says tearily, “God answers that prayer with Derek Morgan. And those prayers, those pleas for mercy are going to take him away from me one day.”

The priest sits quietly for a moment, thinking, maybe praying, as he bows his head. “Child, God makes heroes for a reason. I know he’s so proud of Derek, that he cherishes all the lives he’s saved, but I also know that God cherishes Derek’s life, and yours, too. Derek sounds like the kind of person who loves with his whole heart, and I suspect that he loves you deeply. The Bible teaches us the importance of kind and honest communication, as well as the value in understanding the people you love, and I think you know that your only shot at a happy ending here is to tell Derek all that you’ve told me.”

Spencer’s always rejected the idea of telling Derek how much it breaks his heart to see him running at danger head on because he can’t think of any possible resolution they could come to — it’s not like he can simply turn off his self-sacrificing tendencies — but he doesn’t really see any other way out now.

He looks up at the priest. “Yeah,” he sighs. “I’m not sure I have any other choice.”

“I’ll leave you to your peace and quiet,” he says as he gets up to leave, “but please never think that God doesn’t want to know you because of your loving relationship with Derek. He loves you both so much.”

Spencer smiles, feeling a little bit lighter after getting everything off his chest. “Thank you.”

As he watches the priest walk out of the nave and into what Spencer suspects is the Sanctuary, he hears something that simultaneously warms his heart and twists his stomach in anxiety.

Derek, calling his name.

I hope you enjoyed part one of this fic - please go and check out Emily's edit here!

PART TWO

taglist: @criminalmindsvibez @doctorenby @suburban--gothic @strippersenseii @takeyourleap-of-faith @negativefouriq @makaylajadewrites @iamrenstark @livrere-blue @hotchseyebrows @jellejareau @reidology @i-like-buttons @spencerspecifics @bau-gremlin @hotchedyke @tobias-hankel @goobzoopc@marsjareau @garcias-bitch (taglist form)

[infinitegalahad]

Borhap Boys As Sugar Daddies

(reposted bc it was disappearing from the tags😭)

hey guys!! I wanna apolgoize for the disappearance, school is ✨madness✨ luv. so I've decided to try something new. But I promise I'm working on requests (and a bunch of new ideas). I love all of the borhap boys (bc they are babies🥺) so this might become a little series of head canons! no major warnings, just lots of fluff and some suggestive material. also reader is gender neutral (boy, girl, whatever you what it my dudes!) why not mix my fav trope and boys all in...one fic😳😳 anyways hope you guys enjoy!! I would love some feedback for future reference

Masterlist (requests are welcomed!)

Rami Malek-

Number one that gif of him...need I say more? 🥰

I’m sick of how ya’ll sleep on Rami!! I’m gonna give him tons of love

He would be one of the most affectionate sugar daddy’s tbh

Certainly would spoil the HECK out of you

Whether it be paying off your bills or lavish trips to Greece, Rami always has your back

You never had to pay a SINGLE PENNY when you were around him

Being with Rami, you were a changed person

Your fashion game went UPPPP

Like chanel perfume, all designer clothes, nice handbags, you NAME IT

”Rami, I’m not buying a five hundred dollar shirt from Theory.” ”What do you mean? It would look so good on you, sweetheart.”

Yes, Rami bought you the shirt

You two were at a vinyl place and you saw a limited edition queen vinyl

He buys it (and basically 10+ vinyls you love)

SO RAMI MAKES A WHOLE ASS ROOM IN HIS HOME FOR YOUR VINYLS🥺🥺

This man is omfg i loveee him❣️

Little sneak kisses to your forehead

Seeing you smile as you shop and blush at his complaints makes him so freaking happy HE LOVES YOU SO MUCH

He would take you shopping at the best stores

“I would be fine at a target, y’know” as you look around a Gucci store

Rami would snake an arm around your waist as he cooed into your ear, “My baby deserves the best, and nothing but the best

What started out as an arrangement turned into a genuine relationship

When looking for a sugarbaby, Rami was simply looking for company (and someone to spoil the heck out of)

In all truth, he was simply a lonely guy who simply wanted someone to make happy, and made himself happy in the process

Wherever you guys would go, he would always wanna hold your hand and be close to you bc he’s scared of loosing someone he’s made a connection with

And i’m totally not crying as I write this

Both of you were in dark places when you first met

Rami showed how much he truly cared about you

If you called him all upset, he would SPEED over with whatever you needed whether it be pizza or emotional support

Sitting on your couch, his arm wrapped around yours as you vented about your problems

Rami had convinced you to drop your job and come live with him because he’s a KING!!

”Angel, you’re not gonna have to worry about anymore.” ”What do you mean?”

You ended up quitting your job and moving in with him

What turned into an arrangement became an intimate relationship

The sex between you to was AMAZING

it was VERY intimate

It started off slow but would get increasingly rougher god I hate what I said

Rami would always check up and you and NEVER go past your limits

It would end with the two of you cuddling in bed

Let’s just say you never had to worry about your bills ever again😎😎

I MADE MYSELF CRY WHYYY

Gwilym Lee-

my love for this man? ENDLESS

Seriosuly gwilym lee HAVE MY CHILDERN

anyways to the pLOT

Gwilym is the sexiest and cutest man alive

The sugar daddy that will bring you EVERYWHERE HE GOES

He’s such a gentlemen

Like all relationships start, it was more of an arrangement then a relationship

Your job was to escort Gwilym at all these events as “company”

Gwilym would send a bunch of nice items and a driver to bring you to the location

”Hope you like this ❤️ xxx”   “Treat yourself! 😘xxx”

Like mister I-😳😳

Gwilym is literally such a sweet person

Whenever you were spotted with him, you would get thousands of compliemnts/questions

”You’re with Gwilym! So lucky!”

”That necklace is to kill for! Did Gwilym give it to you?”

”Teach my your ways!”

Whenever you’re at these events all these people give you evil stares

Your like👁👄👁 “is Gwilym a playboy??”

Gwilym is all like “what do you mean?? 🥺Of course not! Your the only one that matters to me right now”

He’s such a king we LOVE HIM

Spontaneous trips to France and Italy

Gwilym and you grow super close

Also your dates would range from fancy galas for Gwilym’s works or peaceful book/poetry readings

He LOVES books and always takes you to bookstores and gives his best recommendations

He literally turns into an english teacher while overanalyzing books

”The greenlight in Green Gatbsy is such a crucial symbol”

”Jane Austen is one of the best feminist writers, she was so ahead of her time!”

You wanna be annoyed but can’t

i can’t I LOVE GWILYM LEE I’M NOT SORRY

The two of you would lie in bed together

You would be slouched against his body as he stroked your hair, reading to you in that accent

As much as you love your gentlemen, you get him into the wacky world of ninety day fiance

”This looks like trash...I’m going to watch every minute of it!”

You guys order chinese food and watch this obsessviely for six hours

I know this is meant to be fluffy but why not add some 🌶

Sex with you and Gwil is like ✨fireworks✨

He would make sure you wouldn’t be able to walk the next day let’s just say😉

He would have to carry you around and kiss your head, saying “You're so adorable, poppet” or “Don’t strain your legs, Cariad!”

Also ceo of AMAZING NICKNAMES

”My anwylyd” (Welsh for dearest)

Would 100% write you romantic poems (over text and in paper)

And yes he WOULD dramatically read them to you😤😤✌🏽

He would always greet you with the most over the top nicknames like “Good morning cariad!” or “Sit there and act pretty, my beloved”

hi mr lee please make me your sugar baby

Gwilym is your sugar daddy but also your sweet, book loving man

He loves seeing you happy so in return, you make him happy💓💓

Joe Mazzello-

This one is a wildcard ladies and gays!! 😌😌

Joe definitely does not strike you as a sugar daddy

He seems more like your boyfriend than anything else

The two of you were inseparable

After dinner Joe would take you to a karaoke bar or for ice cream

After the first date you started calling him Joey

Drunken duets to cheesy 80’s romance songs

The two of you would sing your hearts out before vomiting from the copious ammouts of ice cream and vodka

With Joe it’s eithier mcdonalds or Nobu in TriBeCa

Mr.Mazello has range😌✨

This dude is the ceo of cheesy nicknames

”Yes my little lover muffin!”

”What is it cutie patootie?”

”You look amazing buttercup!”

“What’s up, hot stuff?”

In public he calls you “baby” or “lover” dw he saves you from public embarrassment 

You know that meme of will smith and his wife? That is basically you and Joe

My love for his man is infinite

Joe is super clingy

Hand holding and lots of PDA

He wants people to know that your his sugar baby😤😤💓

he will always send texts like

”miss you baby💓💗💓💗!”

”can you grab milk from the store pls??”

”SUGAR HONEY ICED TEA WHERE ARE YOU😩😩🤯🤯🤯”

”Joe, it’s been a day.”

He has so many photos of you in his camera roll

You are his lockscreen😔💓

The ceo’s of amazing instagram photos, whether it be you wearing a burger king crown at Burger King or You guys kissing on a boat with the Italian sunset on a private boat

Captions would be could “my favorite fairytale is our love story” or “yasss queen slay it!”

It’s cringey but god Joe is so adorable

A combination of a child and gentleman ALL IN ONE

All of his friends are like “you guys HAVE to be dating!’

It’s suppose to be nothing more than an arrangement right?

I mean the two of you were living with eachother and he dropped all of this other sugar babies for you

The two of you are master chefs minus the one time Joe burned mac and cheese and set the stove on fire

Also not to get smutty but the sex between you two? Like

Straight up RAMMING to sweet pillowtalk

Anyways Joe being your sugar daddy would definitely not be a bad thing at all😘

Always exchange those “I love you’s” 💕✨

Ben Hardy-

When first seeing Ben on your sugar daddy app, you were 100% intimidated

But upon meeting him, this tough dude was a PUPPY🥺❣️

On the first date he bought you flowers and gave you a hug

“Y/n, right?”

“That’s me!”

“I just wanted to say you look stunning, love.”

You were wearing jeans and literally smiled so much

You know this date was going to go VERY WELL NOW😩✌🏽✨

Instead of a fancy restaurant, Ben took you to a stroll around London

Whatever clothes you wanted? He got it

Whatever cafe you wanted to stop at? Buy all the tea/coffee and pastries you want

Hotel? Trivago

The two of you walked around the city, hand and hand as you got to know eachother

You ended up walking around the city for five hours up until midnight

You laughed and talked about thousands of things

In confusion, you had to see Ben again

As Ben walked you back to your place, you smiled at him,

”I’d like to do that again.”

”Call me when you want, y/n.”

So your “dates” became more frequent

Ben had the best ideas for dates

Dinners at small Italian places, walking around a museum, or just sitting in his place and watching mindless television

He made sure to spoil you

With gifts, literally and figurreitly

Sex was a large piece in your arrangeemnt

But it was not the only thing in your relationship

And it was!! Amazing!!

”You’re so fucking beautiful” as he would kiss your forehead and dive straight into it 🥺😳

Not only could that man be A BEAST but an absolute sweetheart

Everyday you looked forward to not only getting paid by him, but just talking to him for hours on end

He would stay up for hours just to talk to you, whether it be about your lives or anything

and that ladies and gays is a dedicated MAN

No matter what, Ben always found a way to touch you

He always had his hand on the chair behind you or your thigh

You guys would have pillowforts and nerf fun battles together

It would always end with a cuddle session

Frankie would be skeptcial but love you!!

You guys got so close that he took you on a trip to the greek islands AND PROPOSED!! LIKE!! YES!!😌😌😌

LIKE YES POP OFF MISTER BEN HARDY

[poetic-beats]

I still want to polish up this blog so I am almost tempted when I can get to a PC as it’s not really easy to edit and change up my blog via my IPad. It’s just not functionally made to do it on something like this, it sucks and is painstaking trying to make any changes via this which is kinda why I decided recently to not even bother trying to set up my new blog properly because I just wanted to share my writing again and it’s going to be awhile before I’ve a PC set up. Anyways when I do get my PC set up the first thing I need to do is archive every single poem I’ve ever written and posted online so I can have a back up I know I know, how can I not have gotten it done before now. I’ve been writing for almost a decade and could lose all my work tomorrow if things went wrong because I’ve just not gotten round to it. In doing so I’m also considering just wiping this entire blog clean and starting again for the most part. Organising it better, changing the theme, making better use of tags than I did when I first started and just making the experience easier on people who want to find my poems and read them direct from my blog rather than their dash. As I do feel my theme and tagging system currently isn’t set up to be user/reader friendly. Then again I never imagined this blog would become what it has, it was just a place for me to share my work for the first time outside of the one small forum I’d used. It was not even something I was confident about doing but was encourage to do so by my partner and family. Then it turned into this and its given me so much more confidence to post else where and I really would one day love to make some kind of career out of this. Okay so no I don’t expect to make a living wage from it but it’d be nice if I could have a book or two or maybe put my content out there for free but on some kind of paywall basis too - like with Ko-Fi and be able to get some small steady monthly income. That’d be nice but just to know my work has made an impact, that it’s resonated with others that’s what makes this worth it. I would be lying if that was all though hence the monetisation dreams too because who wouldn’t want to be able to earn from their passion. Okay I know some people wouldn’t want too but I would and I think that starts with being more organised, more consistent in posting and making sure I utilise more than just Twitter and Tumblr. Which is why I want to start using my Instagram again and look at using TikTok too but right now things are really just a lot mental health wise I’ve been struggling. Honestly I’ve been struggling for awhile and since my Grandmas death last year I just haven’t seemed to find that stability not that I ever truly had it I guess but I had some sense of stability and I’ve not gotten it back since she died. It’s also stressful because we’re in the process of moving we’ve been stuck in this limbo for months and months now because the place we are moving too has needed renovations and still isn’t done. We hope to finally be finished and moved in early February. Then I can hopefully work on improving my mental health through 1. Being in a less stressful environment than I am now, 2. Routine routine routine and 3. Just getting back to normality and having that space to do so. Anyways I’m rambling now so I’ll end it here plus my hands are hurting trying to type this out I’ve been getting more and more aches and pains too as of late but not much I can do about that.

[everyhowlmarksthedead]

EZEKIEL ‘EZ’ REYES x READER ⨟ HEADCANON

Anon asked: There is not enough ez tho and you are great writer so can you write something about him falling in love with someone else after emily? headcannon or oneshot ?

Word Count: 1.6k

Author comments: This work wasn't re-edited, so I'm sorry if you find grammar mistakes! I hope you all enjoy. Gif credits: @angels-reyes.

Tag list: @starrynite7114 ​ @chibsytelford ​ @dazzledamazon ​ @mara-mpou ​ @sammskellington ​ @gemini0410 ​ @1-800-imagines ​ @briana-mishell24 ​@sassymox @whyisgmora @aquamento @sadeyesgf @viviansafizada @samcrobae @jade770 @witchy-wish @rebel-without-cause-x @xx--day-dreamer--xx @spiced-reads @tita127 @ifoundmyhappythought @enamouravecleslivresetlechocolat @angelxshiba @destynelseclipsa @sheeshgivemeabreak @abbiesthings @knowles-morgan @lady-pswrld @minnicelli ✨ (if you wanna be tagged, send me a message!)

When you walked to their table and asked what could you do for them, EZ only thought “marry me”.

It's been six months since your father opened his cafeteria at Santo Padre, and the Mayans come every two or three days, except when they're traveling.

They're already your friends.

But, even if EZ is the cutest guy you have ever met, he acts kinda strange some moments. Mostly, when you two are alone.

“Morning, boy scout. Coffee?”

It's too early so the place is almost empty. The Reyes is sitting at his table, writing something in a small notebook that he hides as soon as he notices you.

“Uh?” He asks then nailing an elbow over the white wood, pretending you haven't seen anything.

“Coffee?”

“Su—Sure”. He nods clearing his throat, offering you one of the mugs on the table.

“Were you writing… poems?”

“Poems? Po—Poems? No. No, no, no”. He laughs nervous, shaking his head. “That... shit ain't my style. No. Definitely, no”.

“I like ‘that shit’”. You just say, wrapping your left forearm with your right fingers, after serving the drink.

He looks at you with parted lips, noticing that he's a complete idiot, trying to pretend he's a bad boy just because of the piece of leather he's wearing.

“Hey, mami! Damn! Te ves preciosa por la mañana”. (You look beautiful in the morning). Taza's voice calls your attention, behind you.

“Hey, Aztecas”.

“Uh, right to my heart, querida”. Bishop pretends that you hit him, turning to the guys coming to the table.

“Coffee, coffee, coffee!” Angel says leaving a kiss on your cheek. “Oh, sorry, guys. Have we interrupted your Disney moment?”

“If you say that because your brother looks like ‘Dopey’ from Snow White… yeah, we were having a Disney moment”.

EZ talked about you with the crew. They all were happy because he, finally, was forgetting Emily. And he also looked somewhat more focused. But he's too dumb to talk with you and the crew is always trying to help.

“It's too late, EZ can take you home”. Tranq says, looking through the big glass to notice the empty avenue.

“Yeah! Right, boy scout?” Coco palms his back harder than he should, causing him to almost choke on the beer.

“Fo—For sure. For sure”. He replies coughing, cleaning his mouth with a hand.

“Don' worry, my boyfriend is gonna pick me up”.

Angel spits his drink all over Gilly, when he hears your words.

“Do you have a boyfriend?” The oldest Reyes asks with a high-pitched and shrill voice, trying to recover himself.

“Angel, don' try to escape from the friend zone, it's annoyen' put you in once and again”. You point at him, raising both eyebrows. “I was just kiddin', relax... About my boyfriend, not about the friendzone''.

“Anyway. EZ will take you home”.

“Will you?” Turning to the Reyes, he nods with pursed lips. Well, you actually don't know if he's agreeing or denying, because of the moves of his head.

The whole ride you are preparing yourself for something to happen, but nothing. He just hugs you for a second, before leaving.

Because of the next two weeks listening to his little brother saying that he's going to ask you out, Angel ends up going crazy.

Someone is hitting the small bell on the counter, making you nervous, until you're able to turn around frowning. You find Angel sitting on a stool. Messy hair, eye bags and the same clothes than yesterday. Serving him a coffee, you rest your forearms against the marble edge.

“Rough night?”

“Yeah, like the last two weeks, querida”. He answers by opening his eyes too much with an annoyed and singing voice.

“Can I help you?”

“Yeah, by having a fucking date with my lil'bro”.

Wrinkling your nose, you lean back your head for a second. Confused like never before.

“You like him, dumbass. And since he took you home, he's the whole fucking damn time telling me he's gonna ask you out”. Bowing above the counter, he grabs your wrists resting his forehead on it, almost sobbing. “I fuckin' beg you, (Y/N). Go on a date with him”.

“Why doesn't he ask me?”

“'Cause he has never have a girlfri— Well, he had one, but that fuckin' bitch doesn' count”.

How was possible that a guy like EZ was single all the time. There is something fishy (...).

“But don' worry about sex. He's pretty goo— I mean, I don' know. Zero incest. But girls say so”. He says supporting his chin on the counter, smiling sideways. “I beg you. I'll do anything for you. Please. If I have to listen ‘I'm gonna ask (Y/N) out” again… Damn, preciosa, I swear to god I'm gonna be the fucking mexican Van Gogh”.

When Angel tells EZ that he has talked with you, he goes to the cafeteria like a bat out of hell. But you're not there. You asked for a day off. He thinks he fucked up things because of Angel's chat.

He has been trying to get your number at all cost to text you something. He doesn't know what. Maybe a ‘sorry, my brother is stupid’, maybe a ‘I would like to have a date with you’. But he can't get it.

The next morning he comes back to the cafeteria with the crew, but you're not working. And he feels somewhat disappointed. And Bishop already scolded Angel.

But then, EZ receives a call from the Romeros and Bros.

“Pretty girl asking for you, Ezekiel Reyes”.

He describes you getting up from his chair with his heart about to explode, under the Mayans look.

“Yeah, that's the pretty girl. She's waiting in the clubhouse”.

EZ rides his bike at full speed.

And he's about to have an accident. But it's Ezekiel Reyes. The golden boy. He can't have an accident. What do we say to the god of death? Not today, mijo.

EZ feels his legs trembling as he comes closer to the main door.

“He—Hey… Were you looking for me?”

“Why have you only had one girlfriend and ‘that bitch doesn' count’?”

The Reyes doesn't answer, turning around the bar in silence to grab a small glass, serve tequila on it and drink it in one gulp. After that, he holds your hand, pulling you to the closer sofa to sit with you.

“A man killed my mom. I chased him. I shot a cop by mistake. He died. I went six years to jail. I broke up with my girlfriend because she deserved someone better than me. Then... she aborted our baby, in some kind of revenge. But she still being around, even if I don' want her close, 'cause we work with his husband”.

You're freaking out, hiding it by a serious gesture with pursed lips, nodding for a second.

“I'm not the guy a father would want for her daughter. I should have told you one bit at a time, but I really fell in love with you, when you came to my table. A red lace with white dots tying your hair, the apple smell leaving a trail wherever you went, the smiley you write above every ‘i’ in our bills…”

Now you don't know if he's a psycho.

“Sorre', I remember shit. Photographic memory”.

Oh.

“I would really like to have a date with you, (Y/N)”.

“Were you writing a poem?”

“My mom used to read me every night, and I was studying Literature at college. I fuckin' love poetry”.

He finally gets the date. Tacos, dance, tequila and poems. The perfect one.

Angel sleeps like a baby that night.

Some months before, he introduces you to the club at a party, even if they already know you. But they're Mayans. They need parties like they need air to live.

For life issues, you meet Emily one day walking around Santo Padre, hanging out with Leti. She jeers about your relationship, until you break her nose and also one of your knuckles. Of course, you get arrested because she's Miguel Galindo's BITCH wife.

When EZ goes to pick you up, that BITCH woman is there, making a complaint against you accompanied by a man with braids and black sunglasses.

“Ezekiel”. She sobs, while you live the scene from the cell, rolling your eyes with a heavy snort.

The club has paid your bail, so you can go home after spending the night there. But you're not sure if you want to go home in case that, because of what you did, you're going to have trouble with your boyfriend. You don't want to lose him and maybe you should have thought better about it before hitting her.

The Reyes passes her away, straight to the cell being opened by a cop. And you're trembling, until the man puts his kutte on your shoulders, leaving a kiss on your temple.

“Let's go home, ex-con”. He jokes laughing, surrounding your neck with an arm, walking stuck to you.

EZ usually makes fun of you because of it, calling you “the mexicans Bonnie and Clyde”.

At the end, even if he doesn't have to prove it, he shows you everyday how much he loves you. And after two weeks you don't remember who the fuck is Emily Galindo.

[thethirteenthcrow]

The Shyan Shipping Society Writing Challenge ✍️💕

Hello dear shippers! 

My name’s Zhalia, a fanfic writer on archive of our own. you might know me from my stripper!Ryan au, or the cinderella au or from the many comments i leave on your amazing works.

Since October, i’ve been hosting very lowkey writing challenges on the Shyan Shipping Society Discord server. and i figured, i’d let good ol’ tumblr get a piece of it!

this is a fun lil' challenge to practice your writing with random prompts!

(shout out to @helloitsvehere​ for making the amazing header here and sorry to keep bugging you on it but it looks really amazing now darling <3)

✨RULES✨

✧ the challenge is held at monthly, we don't want to pressure anyone too much and we want to give you enough time to work! on top of that, the minimum amount of words for this challenge is 50, which is a very low bar, it's no school, this is for fun!! also don't worry if you miss a month.

✧ from the day we set the prompt, you have one month to meet the challenge. with this, we request a chapter or a start. if a prompt inspires u to write more than a oneshot or one chapter, feel free to expand as much as you can outside the challenge! everyone is requested to post their submissions on the same day (so say we start at october 1st, then you're only allowed to submit your submissions on october 31st, no sooner). We then hope to announce the new prompt on, for example, november 1st to continue the cycle, but it may differ at times.

✧ There are no specifications to your writing. you may write however you like, a story, a description, a poem, anything is allowed. you're free to write in any rating, be it G or E-rated. we prefer M/E of course, cause we're thirsty like that. if you’re an artist, you’re free to join too! more elaboration in the FAQ below :D.

✧ if you have ideas for prompts, please DM me on Discord or mail me on thethirteenthcrow@gmail.com ! i love to hear em <3 (keep reading for more information on the challenge)

i can’t wait to see all your lovely works! i’m really stoked to see and chat with you and learn all that’s going around in your wonderful minds.

much love, 

Zhalia💖

✨FAQ✨

o   What is the Shyan Shipping Society (Server)?

The shipping society is a discord server owned by @bradpistachio​ where a bunch of shippers gather to chat about anything: their lives; the boys; other fanworks like fanfics and fanart; annoying antis; we have a writing lab to talk about your own works, and much more! The server is filled with amazing artists like madamecrimson, @helloitsvehere​, @pizzacastella​, sonzaishinai and many more. The server is an active and welcoming community. In the server, I also roll out the updates for this challenge and answer all your questions. Will we see you there?

o   Do i need to join the server to post?

It's not required! The server is a lil' bonus, a place where you can talk with fellow shippers about anything, but also where i will be reminding you of the challenge. We have handful of channels dedicated to this writing challenge, so it might help you out. It's also easier for me to follow, and whenever you have questions i will reply faster there than anywhere else. But, again, it's not necessary.

o   If i join the challenge once, am i required to join every month?

Most definitely not! You're free to join and leave whenever you want. Sometimes a prompt doesn't inspire you, or life dragged you away from writing and that's completely valid! This challenge is supposed to be a fun way to motivate you to express yoursef through your art, but it's not school so don't ever feel pressured :).

o   What tags do i include, what are the ratings we work in?

There are no required ratings and/or tags for you to use. In general, the prompts are all focused on Shyan, but if you'd like to add Standrew as a background relationship, feel free!! If the prompt is Watcher-oriented, but you feel like you need a bit of that spice that Curly brings with him, i encourage you! On top of that, you're free to choose whichever ratings you feel fit best. Personally, i mostly live off of M- and E-rated fics, but if you're uncomfortable with graphic descriptions of anything, and would rather keep it a fluffy G-rated fic, then knock yourself out! I believe you know what's best for your work!

On the shipping server, the prompt will have a set of recommended tags, these are ideas i'd write the prompt in, but they aren't mandatory. If it says 'friends to lovers' but you'd rather write 'established relationship' then feel free! It's your work after all.

o   Is there a minimum and/or maximum word count?

There is a minimum word count of 50 words right now, to show that you're seriously participating (i mean, wouldn't want "he smiled, they kissed, they fucked, the end" as a fic, right?). Your work does not have to be finished in order to fulfill the prompt, you can write one chapter, or one paragraph and edit it later when you have more time. If a prompt inspires you enough to write a long fic about it, don't feel pressured to finish it within a month! Take your time!! All we ask is for you to have written a start, and post that to the collection.

o   i am no writer, but i’d love to make art for this in another way, is that possible?

Of course! originally the challenge was only made for writers, because the server was filled with a majority of writers. however, over the past few weeks we’ve had a handful of artists join our little community as well, people like sonza and @berakangkang​. Sonza has blessed us by filling the October prompt as well, so if you’re an artist and you’d like to participate, please join! we love love love your art. honestly. the server goes wild on fanart. 

o   When do i post my submission?

Everyone who joins the challenge, posts their submission on the same day. This is the last 48 hours of a month - CET timezone. The next prompt will have been rolled out a day before we open submissions, so you can get familiar with it for a day or two before starting on it.

o   I don't think i'll reach the deadline, now what?

You can contact me privately about this through our discord server - for fast replies - or via my email (thethirteenthcrow@gmail.com). I will open the collection for you so you can submit it later. Keep an eye on the deadline though, a challenge won't be reopened a month after the deadline.

o   I have an amazing idea for a prompt, where do i submit it?

On the discord server, we have a channel named 'prompts-and-ideas' where some of these prompts even came from, you can submit them there and @ me so i'd know it's for the writing challenge.

If you don't have discord or don't want to join the server, you're free to mail me your idea with Shyan Shipping Society Prompt Idea as subject! I look forward to your ideas!

here’s the link to the parent collection on Archive Of Our Own, where you can always find the new prompts for the next months, and where you can post your work once i open the collection.

i can’t wait to see your works! i’m very excited to see what you all can come up with <3

ps,

this is the first time i host a writing challenge like this. i’m still learning my way around ao3′s function to make prompt meme challenges, and there may always be little bugs in the system, because i have but a small brain. i rely on carl-bot to remind me to post and open submissions and everything, to keep it running smoothly. i am trying my very best to make this fun for everyone. also i crave feedback, so if you have any comments, complaints, ideas, critique, please hit me up!!

oh and yeah i am very inactive on the tumblrs because i don’t uh catch the vibe of this platform but i’m trying. i’m trying. 👉👈

[justkeeptrekkin]

If you’re still doing ineffable husbands prompts??? Something with Crowley and being self conscious bout his eyes pls. It’s a weakness of mine lol

I had way too much fun writing this… I hope you enjoy!! Tagging my mate @mikudave, who also requested some snake Crowley. 

***

“Crowley, dear, where are you hiding?”

Crowley cracks open one snake eye. Technically, he isn’t hiding. He had been napping, until Aziraphale’s sing-song voice woke him up. Naps are always significantly better when you can be a snake and curl up in some quiet nook somewhere. No bed required. No judgment. Because, unsurprisingly, people don’t tend to judge snakes that happen to be asleep behind a bookcase- they just scream and run away. 

Crowley pokes his snakehead around the edge of said bookcase and darts his tongue. He can taste Aziraphale’s cologne in the air. Out of sight, somewhere in the room, Aziraphale sighs wearily, but affectionately. 

“Oh, come now, there’s no need for that. If you want to ignore me then don’t go to sleep in my bookshop.”

He stretches his head out further, and he sees him- stepping slowly into the room, looking about the place with a small smile and a twinkle in his eye. His neck craned backwards so he can gaze up into the light that pours through the glass dome above. Bathing in it like the day he was born- how all angels are born, in the light of God’s smile. 

All angels including Crowley, once upon a time. 

Crowley lets his snake eyes stare at him from afar, just for a moment longer. Then, he gathers his limited energy and slithers into view. He likes a good slither. Slithering is much more satisfying than walking, which involves using too many joints, and hips getting in the way. Just as he’s about to sneak up behind Aziraphale’s back, the angel turns and peers down. He sighs again, straightening his waist-coat thoughtlessly. 

“Oh there you are, my love.” Crowley’s cold blood warms at those words. He curls around Aziraphale’s leg like a vine, wrapping around his waist and coming to rest his head on his shoulder. Aziraphale peers over at him with narrowed eyes and raised brows, a furtive smile. “Where have you been, then? Scare any customers away?”

“Yesssssss. Jusssst a couple. One of them almost called animal control.”

“Wonderful. Hang on- actually,” Aziraphale double takes, planted on the spot now that he has a giant python wrapped around him. “Not all that wonderful, Crowley. I do very much appreciate that you’re- uhm-”

“Sssssstanding guard,” he supplies.

“Fine, standing guard, however you want to call it. I admit that it was getting exhausting miracling all the customers away, and I do love you for doing this, but- I don’t know how many times I can convince the RSPCA that ‘no, there’s no python here, everything’s just fine, tickety boo, nothing to worry about, officer, thank you very much, have a nice day’. And all that.”

The chastising look he’s getting from Aziraphale isn’t very intimidating- actually, it’s a bit comical, particularly with his face this close to Crowley’s. He can only see him with one eye, anyway- the other eye, on the other side of his snake head, is facing Aziraphale’s desk and surveying the half drunk bottle of whisky with interest. 

Thinking that perhaps he ought to give Aziraphale a chance to have a real conversation face to face, he makes a sussurating, serpentine sigh and takes his human form. By the time scales have become skin and the tail has become limbs, he’s still wrapped around Aziraphale, albeit with his feet on the ground. His arms are around Aziraphale’s waist, clinging. His face buried in the soft cashmere of his jacket. His breath hot on his face, trapped between the material and his lips. He lets himself hang there. 

Aziraphale feels like home. 

It makes Crowley angry sometimes, thinking of all the times he could have held him like this, felt like this. All the times he could have been braver and said those three simple words.

“Have you been sleeping all morning?” Aziraphale asks gently, rubbing his back.

“Sleepy,” he grumbles.

“Oh, dear.” The way Aziraphale says this is like he’s consoling a moody toddler. 

“S’fine. Just that it’s cold outside and your shop’s warm.”

“Mmm, yes. I turned the heating on the day before yesterday. Such strange weather we’re having at the moment. Do you know, British Gas rang me yesterday and tried to tell me that I haven’t been paying my bills. Can you believe it?”

Crowley snorts, lifts his head up and leans back from their embrace a little. Soft, but stern pale eyes scan over Crowley’s face. 

“What did you say?”

Aziraphale blinks at him. “Well, obviously I found my log books and gave them a thorough run down of my payments. As if I don’t keep track of my bills. Really.”

“Really,” he agrees with amusement.

There had, of course, been the time when Aziraphale had been visited by the Tax Man for being so suspiciously good at balancing his books. Truth is, he really is just that diligent. Crowley briefly feels sorry for the British Gas employee who must have been on the other end of that phone call- they must have had their ear talked off. Gotten a proper lecture, just like the Tax Man. And then, Crowley is bizarrely overwhelmed by how proud he is of Aziraphale for being so unceasingly irritating. 

This thought process is interrupted as Crowley registers the dreamy look on Aziraphale’s face. A sweet smile and pinched brows. 

“What is it,” he asks warily. Aziraphale’s soppy expressions usually indicate when Crowley’s unintentionally done something nice. Or romantic. 

Well, at least, it’s very rarely intentional.

“Nothing, my dear.” Aziraphale pats his chest with a coy smile. Implying it’s not nothing at all, and he’s about to expand any second- 

“It’s just,” the angel continues, gaze peering at him through his lashes. “You have such lovely eyes. Sometimes, it just catches me off guard.”

Of all the things for Aziraphale to say, he hadn’t expected that at all. 

And after all the years that the two of them have known each other, his compliments still make Crowley twitch. 

“Don’t be stupid,” he mutters. He hates how he sounds. 

And he loves that Aziraphale is unfazed by the sneer that’s most probably on his face right now.

“You do. They’re really, truly beautiful, my dear.”

“Stop it.”

“I am being totally serious.”

“That doesn’t mean you’re right.”

“Oh- I may be a bit daft at times, but I’m right about some things, and this is one of them.”

“God you’re- you’re insufferable-”

“You’re beautiful, Crowley-”

“Aziraphale.”

“Your eyes are golden like Autumn leaves-”

“Jesus. I’m- I am genuinely considering becoming a snake just to strangle you, you do realise that-?”

“Shining like distant suns-”

“I will leave you.”

“Do you not see that you have nice eyes, Crowley?”

“They’re fine. They’re eyes. Serve their purpose.”

“Yes but- they’re golden. They’re remarkable. Some would even say angelic.”

“Except they’re not, are they?”

The teasing smile on Aziraphale’s expression falls a little. The teasing tone in Crowley’s voice turns bitter. And Aziraphale’s hands hold onto the lapel of Crowley’s jacket. The gesture is strangely protective. 

“Oh. Oh, I’m sorry, Crowley. I hadn’t realised you were self-conscious,” Aziraphale says quietly. Just for them to hear, even though they’re alone in the bookshop.

And Crowley doesn’t look back, even though he feels Aziraphale’s eyes on him. He refuses to look back. Something in him makes him want to run away. He doesn’t- instead, he grinds his teeth and breathes loudly through his nose, staring at the pile of E. M. Forster books on the table adjacent. 

He could stand here silently and ignore that statement, or he could argue (and lose that battle, because there’s no use arguing with Aziraphale). Instead, he sighs. 

“They’re not angelic, though, are they. They’re the one thing about my form I can’t change. If I discorporate, I could have any other body, but I would still have these eyes.” And he thinks he’s finished, except he hasn’t, because the words tumble out of his mouth like he’s drunk. “Just- you know, a fun reminder of that little mistake I made, when I was young and reckless- and hung out with the wrong crowd, like any stupid kid does. A warning to everyone else that I’m wily. And bad and cruel and untrustworthy. Because, obviously, you know, people deserve to have their mistakes literally branded on them for the rest of eternity.”

And then he really is finished, so he swallows and sighs, turning his gaze to Aziraphale’s bow tie. It’s not tartan today, but it’s just as poncy. Meanwhile, Aziraphale is quiet. Like he’s been embarrassed into silence for putting his foot so thoroughly in it, Crowley thinks. 

But then, Aziraphale always manages to surprise Crowley, just a little. 

“I know just the thing.”

With one more comforting pat on Crowley’s chest, Aziraphale untangles himself and disappears behind some bookshelves. The shop feels almost frighteningly large- without Aziraphale’s close presence, without the tight nook of a bookshelf as a bed. Crowley peers over his shoulder to see him fussing, tutting to himself as he peruses a pile of dusty first editions. Moving one pile out of the way to make room for the next, bending down to find something in particular, it seems. 

“What you looking for, angel,” he asks, a little gruffly in his confusion.

Aziraphale doesn’t answer, which is his way of telling Crowley to be patient and bear with him. Eventually, he makes a pleased little hum, and pulls out a book from the bottom of the very last pile. 

Aziraphale twirls around theatrically to face Crowley, book open in one hand and the other clutching his chest. 

“Golden Eyes,” he announces, with his best thespian voice. “A poem by Laurence Hope.”

“No,” is all Crowley says in response. 

“Oh Amber Eyes, oh Golden Eyes! Oh Eyes so softly gay!”

“Christ.”

“Wherein swift fancies fall and rise, Grow dark and fade away!” Aziraphale begins to pace the room, book hand extended like he’s reading from a script. Like he’s one of Shakespeare’s actors, only, miraculously, even more ridiculous. “Eyes like a little limpid pool That holds a sunset sky, While on its surface, calm and cool, Blue water lilies lie-”

“You can stop now,” Crowley argues, a smile creeping up on him. 

Aziraphale seems to pick up on his amusement, because he bounds over with dramatically wide eyes, and is now, God help him, making whimsical hand gestures to accompany his performance. He’s enjoying this too much. “Oh Tender Eyes, oh Wistful Eyes, You smiled on me one day, And all my life, in glad surprise, Leapt up and pleaded ‘Stay!’ Ooh, now, hang on,” he interrupts himself, “let me just find my favourite bit…”

“You- don’t. You don’t have to.”

“I do, and I shall,” he replies primly, putting on his reading glasses and tilting his head upwards so he can read the pages a little better. “Ah! Here we are- are you ready?”

“No.”

“Ah laughing, ever-brilliant eyes, These things men may not know, But something in your radiance lies, That, centuries ago, Lit up my life in one wild blaze Of infinite desire To revel in your golden rays, Or in your light expire.”

And- yeah, alright, that is quite nice, Crowley thinks. Maybe he can put up with being serenaded every now and then, so long as he gets to roll his eyes and pretend he hates it. And Aziraphale’s bashfulness finally seems to catch up with him as he approaches Crowley slowly, eyes fixed on the book and a small, self-conscious smile on his lips. 

He continues, softly.

“If this, oh Strange Ringed Eyes, be true, That through all changing lives This longing love I have for you Eternally survives-” 

Crowley reaches out a hand to find Aziraphale’s, to run along his arm. 

“May I not sometimes dare to dream In some far time to be Your softly golden eyes may gleam Responsively on me?”

And at that, Aziraphale sighs. He looks away from the page and Crowley takes the book from him, lays it on the table behind him. 

“Well?” Aziraphale asks quietly. A little coquettishly. “May I dare to dream?”

Crowley huffs and shakes his head. He lays a hand on Aziraphale’s cheek, watches the angel’s eyes flutter closed. 

“You silly sod,” he whispers, just so he doesn’t have to hear himself choke. 

With that said, he answers Aziraphale’s question- he answers in a kiss. Soft, sure, and more eloquent than any words he’d ever be able to stumble through.

[imaginationtherapy]

Fic Writer Meme

I’ve been tagged by everyone and that legit Made My Day.  ( @wherehefoundtheporcupine @eau1636 @petersjakes and probably others but I can’t keep track)

AO3 Name: imaginationtherapy    (main tumblr blog is not-easy-being-green124)

Fandoms: Endeavour is the only one I’m active in. I tend to hyperfocus on a topic. I’m also a good bit insecure and shy, and I like the comforting small-ness of this fandom. I’m mildly afraid of getting involved in any larger fandoms. 

Number of Fics: I have 61 works posted on AO3,  24 of those are Endeavour fics, 1 is an original story that I need to get back to work on, and the rest are all original poems.

Fic I spent the most time on: As far as published fic, I’ve been working on Stitches/Here Comes the Sun the longest , mostly because I stalled out on Here Comes the Sun. I think I’ve put the most amount of effort into was Can’t Fight This Feeling Anymore because I’m terrified of getting Max DeBryn wrong.

Fic I spent the least time on: Honestly, my first one Treat You Better. It’s my first published fic, and honestly I didn’t expect it to a) be any good b) be received well at all or c) end up that long. I kinda just threw stuff together and didn’t edit much at all.

Longest fic: Rusty Cage which is written in @hekate1308‘s magical realism universe. I honestly have no idea how that fic is over 60k. Like. That boggles my mind? It doesn’t feel like I’ve written that much? And I have no clue how long it will end up, because I have at least 2 more consecutive chapters planned, plus a lil twist and then there’s whatever comes in between.

Shortest fic: LOL I forgot about Bite Me which is a ridiculous lil follow up to some Vampire Morse stories by @lieutenantmalcolmreed It’s literally the only fic of mine under 1k words. O.O

Most hits: I just checked and almost choked. Treat You Better with 2359 hits?!? What?!? What the heck?!? How did this happen!?!? It is my oldest fic but it’s only like a year old and this is a baby fandom and and and w h a t?

Most kudos: Treat You Better again, with 109 kudos. O.O

Total Word Count: 273,290 excuse me?! My initial thought is “oh but a lot of that is poetry”---b u t if we subtract off the poetry and the original fic, I’m at 258,876 words. What in the everloving heck? I’ve been on AO3 for just over a year...what am I doing?

Favourite Fic I Wrote: ohhhhhhhh uhm. Dangit. This is hard. Of published, probably The Waiting Game. I enjoyed playing with Thursday’s fear and horror and Morse coming to accept his help.  I have to say, though, I’m partial to my original fic, Redneck Haunt Club because I’m in love with my OC’s. 

Fic You Want To Rewrite/Expand On: At some point, I would like to go back and “fix up” Treat You Better, and some of my earlier Shameless series stories. I want to wait until I’ve got the beginning of the series down better, and then fix any character inconsistencies and polish up my writing. 

Share a Bit of a WIP or story idea you are planning on: I have so many WIPS. SO. MANY. While my mental health was poor earlier this year, I couldn’t stay focused, so I have like...so many half done WIPS. Anyhow...ummm...

You know what? Ima go for broke. So I have this Morseverse story that pre-dates all my other stories. I set it on the back burner for quite a while, but I hope to finish it someday. It’s sort-of a casefic, following a series of murdered policemen, with bits of other cases filtered in. It features a heck ton of Morse whump and worry. The main “plot” focus is on Morse and his relationship with...an original female character *gasp*.

Yeah I know. I’m terrified to put the story out there, but I love Adelaide Eckles so much guys. She’s essentially a “reader insert” except shes so much cooler than me. When I first started writing fic again, I hadn’t found a Morseverse ship that I liked a ton, and I wanted a female character that I could identify with. Not that I dislike any of the women in the Morseverse, but none of them suited me. So Adelaide (or Delle, as she likes to be called) was born.

Delle is a spunky woman who takes no shit from anyone. My biggest fear about introducing her to y’all is that she’s...well, look. I’m a science teacher and I wanted to give Delle an active part in the workings of the Cowley Station boys. So I kinda...bent the rules and made her...*ahem* a female pathologist. Please don’t hate me. She’s not meant to replace Max--she and Max actually have a really cool working relationship/friendship together. I just...needed a place for my spirit.

Anyhow, the main idea or “plot” of the story is that Delle has struggled with depression (among other things) and as such, is able to recognize the depression that’s eating away at Morse (a headcanon of mine) and helps him to understand himself. And yeah, they fall in love because why not.

Please don’t hate me.

Anyhow. I felt like sharing that. I’m hoping to start working on Delle’s story sometime and release it into the wild. And maybe someone will read it just for the heck of it--I know OC’s aren’t everyone’s cup of tea but I’ve put too much time into Delle to back out. 

I should...stop talking now. Is anyone surprised that I can’t write short things? I can’t even answer a meme concisely. *sigh*

I think y’all have been tagged already but like...my Morseverse pals, if you haven’t been...please do this because I love reading about y’all. :) <3

(Also if anyone wants to talk about Redneck Haunt Club or Delle, please hit me up)

[queer-cosette]

Coco Writes

OK, so I know I’m not always great about summarising my fics on here; I usually just post links. But here is a masterpost of all my fics!

Les Miserables

The Leader And The Cynic

Rated T

1/1 chapter; 1226 words

Summary:

A series of moments from the relationship of Enjolras and Grantaire. Because now my happiness depends on the happiness of fictional revolutionaries. Modern AU

Read on FF.net

Series - On Se Sent Comme Par Magie

The Destiny Of Cosette

Rated T

No Archive Warnings Apply

22/22 chapters; 88,475 words

Summary:

Cosette is an ordinary Parisian teenager - until one day, she stumbles across a powerful Faery being attacked by an ogre! And when she inadvertently uses magic to protect the Faery, Enjolras, she realises that she’s maybe not as normal as she thought. Enjolras invites her to attend Faery school in another dimension with him, where they become friends with three other faeries - Courfeyrac, Jehan and Éponine - and form Les Amis. But all is not well in the Magic Dimension -

What’s the deal with Grantaire, Marius, Bahorel and Combeferre - four cute wizards from another school?

What are Patron-Minette - a trio of witches - planning?

And who is Fantine, the mysterious Nymph who keeps appearing in Cosette’s dreams?

Read on AO3

The Shadow Phoenix

Rated T

No Archive Warnings Apply

26/26 chapters; 165,435 words

Summary:

Les Amis start their second year at Musain College for Faeries, and right off the bat, strange things begin happening in the Magic Dimension. Musichetta, a water Faery, arrives at the school begging for help to rescue her friends, the Piskies, and Patron-Minette have busted out of rehabilitation with the help of a strange skeletal knight - who matches Musichetta’s description of the Piskies’ kidnapper. With the help of Musichetta, Feuilly - a Wizard and new member of Les Amis -, and Professor Mabeuf, the wise new philosophy teacher, this year promises to be as exciting as the last!

Read on AO3

The Warlock Of The Flame

Rated T

Major Character Death

18/25 chapters; 122,516 words

Summary:

Cosette’s life is going great! With Lord Méchant defeated, her final year at Musain College for Faeries is going to be normal (for once); her relationship with Marius is going spectacularly (and it looks like there’s a proposal in the pipeline!); and there’s nothing to suggest that the Magical Dimension is in any danger. But then news of something horrible happening on Musichetta’s home planet reaches the ears of Les Amis - and according to Headmaster Myriel, there’s only one Warlock who could have caused it. As Cosette and her friends face off with the culprit, it becomes more and more apparent that his true nature and past are darker than any of them could have imagined...

Read on AO3

***

Total Drama

Dear Diary

Rated M

Major Character Death, Reference To Eating Disorders and Attempted/Implied Sexual Assault

9/? chapters; 27,617 words

Summary:

"Dear Diary - My teen angst bullshit now has a body count."

Heather Chandler. Gwen Duke. Lindsay McNamara. Courtney Sawyer. Together they make up the most powerful clique at Westerburg High. Most people would die to get into it.

Courtney would kill to get out of it.

Enter Duncan Dean. He has a way with women, a way with words, and a very special way with a gun.

"It's God versus my boyfriend, and God's losing..."

Read on AO3

Read on FF.net

A Little Fall Of Rain

Rated T

Major Character Death

1/1 chapter; 663 words

Summary:

In the midst of the July Uprising, Gwen Thénardier takes a bullet for long time friend Duncan Pontmercy, despite his love for Courtney and his obliviousness towards her feelings for him. Gwen as Éponine, Duncan as Marius. Based off the scene in the musical. I don't own TDI or Les Mis. Warning: Character Death.

Read on FF.net

Freak Out, Let It Go

Rated K+ (G for AO3 users)

1/1 chapter; 271 words

Summary:

Alternatively called ‘What Happens When I listen To Avril Lavigne For Three Hours Straight’. One-shot starring our favourite crazy redhead. Enjoy.

Read on FF.net

Bubblegum Bitch

Rated T

1/1 chapter; 539 words

Summary:

Heather is shiny and perfect on the outside, but on the inside she's a backstabbing user - a mess.

Read on FF.net

I Wish

Rated T

Implied Character Death

1/1 chapter; 357 words

Summary:

When Courtney doesn't show up after TDWT's finale, Duncan does some serious thinking about the past.

Read on FF.net

***

Miraculous Ladybug

mArinette

Rated T

No Archive Warnings Apply

7/8 chapters

Summary:

Marinette tells a lie. A pretty big lie. And soon one lie turns into another, and before she knows it, she's going out of her way to keep the lie going.

When Lila lies, it's sloppy. But Marinette's lie is all too believable.

At least no one else is getting hurt by her lie.

But Marinette's about to find out how hard it is to be known as the school slut.

An Easy A AU.

Read on AO3

Series - A Miraculous Musical

Cute Boys With Short Haircuts

Rated G

No Archive Warnings Apply

1/1 chapter

Summary: 

Marinette sees Adrien and Kagami kissing and jumps to conclusions. Hurt and upset, she heads up to her balcony to do the one thing that cheers her up: singing a really angsty song.

Adrien had nothing to do with the kiss. He just wants to ask Marinette out. He passes her balcony as Chat Noir and hears the most beautiful singing voice... but the song is so sad. And then he sticks around just a little too long, and catches sight of something he shouldn't have...

Read on AO3

Act One: Whalesong

Rated T

Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

2/? chapters

Summary:

Marinette's family receives tragic news, and suddenly her cousin becomes her roommate. With her only possessions being a small suitcase of clothes and a bizarre hair-clip, anyone connected to María Sugrue-Dupain begins to become infected with some sort of singing virus - in which they have no choice but to sing about their problems. Ms Bustier, ever resourceful, takes the opportunity to direct the class in a production of the musical 'Heathers', and there is drama on-stage and off it.

But why does the singing virus exist at all? Why is Gabriel Agreste suddenly so interested in Adrien's schoolmates? And seriously, is Nathalie OK? The Gorilla wants to know if he should call someone. Should he call someone?

Read on AO3

Series - Let Me Be Loved

More Adventurous

Rated G

No Archive Warnings Apply

1/1 chapter

Summary:

"And it's only doubts that we're counting On fingers broken long ago. I read with every broken heart We should become more adventurous..."

As Marinette sings at a Kitty Section concert, Adrien starts to notice her in a new light. Unfortunately, he's too late, even if he's not quite sure what he's too late for.

100% inspired by 'More Adventurous' by Rilo Kiley

Read on AO3

***

Equestria Girls

Dazzlings

Rated M

Contains Major Character Death, Reference To Eating Disorders and Attempted/Implied Sexual Assault

13/13 chapters

Summary:

"Well, fuck me gently with a chainsaw! Nancy Drew is onto you, Sunset."

Sunset Shimmer wished she was popular, and she became popular -

And suddenly she wished she wasn’t popular.

When Sunset is faced with a fate seemingly worse than death, mysterious new kid Flash Sentry suggests she take matters into her own hands and use drain cleaner, Ich Lüge bullets, and adult ignorance to make the world a better place.

But is his vision of a world without bullies really worth the cost?

Read on AO3

Read on FF.net

***

Original Work

Our Relationship Was A Rainbow

Rated T

No Archive Warnings Apply

1/1 chapter

Summary:

An original piece following the course of a relationship that in spite of glowing all the colours of the rainbow, ended grey and cloudy.

Read on AO3

An Anthology Of Verse, written by a traumatised (yet certified) idiot

Rated G

No Archive Warnings Apply

2/? chapters

Summary:

I asked my followers on Tumblr if they'd be interested in reading some of my original poetry if I posted it here. Four likes and a comment saying "Yes please!!" is more than good enough for me. I hope you enjoy it!

(Note: A lot of this was initially written a few years ago - or even longer. Some of it has - naturally - been edited since my initial draft, but some of it may have a different style to my more recent writing.)

(Another Note: I will be posting new poems as they come to me, or I rediscover them. I will also update tags as I go.)

Read on Ao3

[azfellandco]

Hey there, so your reply to my comment on the vampire AU, about Aziraphale and consumption and such, has been rattling around in my head since I read it, and I was hoping, if you have the time/energy/desire of course, to pick your brains about what kinds of meta/headcanons you've got? Because Aziraphale and food and softness and subversion give me LIFE and I have some thoughts of my own but I'd love to hear yours :D

I would love to talk about this some more, hell yeah. Thank you so much. Please do also tell me your headcanons, @dwarven-beard-spores, I definitely want to hear them. Here is the AU in question for anyone else who might be interested.

Anyway I’m going to have to put this under a read-more because this has become like… thesis level long. My apologies to anyone on mobile. 

The thing I love about this book in general is that there’s such a rich vein of history of thought to explore baked into the premise. Angels and demons and god and the devil and satanic nuns and witches and the four horsemen and the antichrist and the Book of Revelation’s “capital A for Apocalypse” exist in this universe and because so much of it is played for humorous effect there’s a lot of wiggle room as to how these things actually interact with their real world theological equivalents. Which is all building up to say: I am absolutely fascinated with the dichotomy in popular conception between angels as good/holy and angels as monstrous, and how to a lot of people that really isn’t a dichotomy at all. 

Here are some quotes I think about in conjunction with Aziraphale a lot. 

“Did you ever notice how in the Bible, whenever God needed to punish someone, or make an example, or whenever God needed a killing, he sent an angel? Did you ever wonder what a creature like that must be like? A whole existence spent praising your God, but always with one wing dipped in blood. Would you ever really want to see an angel?“  –The Prophecy

“Who, if I cried out, would hear me among the hierarchyof angels? and even if one of thempressed me against his heart: I would be consumedin that overwhelming existence. For beauty is nothingbut the beginning of terror, which we still are just able to endure,and we are so awed because it serenely disdainsto annihilate us. Every angel is terrifying.” –Rainer Maria Rilke

Every angel is terrifying. What? Whomst? Aziraphale, light of my life, in love with a demon who thinks bullet-hole window transfers and expensive divers’ watches are cool, calls said demon “my dear”, is terrifying? Excuse me? 

I am utterly in love with the idea of Aziraphale as this potential force of nature, with the righteous fury and the wings and the sword and wait. What did Aziraphale do with that sword? He gave it away to the humans that got kicked out of paradise, because they looked cold. 

The first thing Aziraphale does in the whole book is a renouncement of this particular idea of angels, and we see him sort of… butt up against it later, when he talks to the Metatron. Aziraphale doesn’t want the world to end, of course he doesn’t, but I just have… so many feelings about the way Aziraphale talks about the war versus the way the Metatron talks about the war. 

The point is not to avoid the war, it is to win it. –the Metatron, pg. 242

The Metatron is the kind of angel above, blood and fury, and Aziraphale’s voice goes “flat and hopeless” in the face of it, “the bitterness in his voice would have soured milk”. Aziraphale doesn’t want this war to happen, and the way all his thoughts and feelings are tagged versus the sort of netural, descriptionless way the Metatron’s are (pretty much the only characterization the Metatron gets is “a well-educated voice” and “a shade testily”, the latter of which is in response to Aziraphale saying he has to delay returning to Heaven) has always struck me as like… the difference between Aziraphale and other angels is that Aziraphale cares so much. We talk a lot in this fandom about Crowley and “the truth was that Crowley rather liked humans. It was a major failing in a demon” but Aziraphale is the same, he’s just… subtler. 

Where the heck was I going with this. I’m so fond. 

Ah yes. Aziraphale is different from other angels because he cares, because he wants. I wrote a fic about this, too, actually. So it’s sort of interesting to me that it’s in the things Aziraphale wants that he is most an ”every angel is terrifying” angel, even though in some cases it’s a muted and complex kind of thing, a lot of which has been helped along for my by popular fandom and my love of gothic lit and isn’t necessarily comping from the book anymore, everything from here on out is my headcanons.

The most obvious example of Aziraphale’s desires being the most monstrous thing about him comes from that same conversation with the Metatron. I’m sure everybody here is aware of the good old “Aziraphale was willing to kill a child so he could stay on earth and keep eating sushi” post which, while reductive, is essentially what I’m getting at here. Aziraphale calls the Metatron with the specific intent of the Metatron killing Adam and stopping the ball rolling because he likes the world and he likes living there and I really do think, when it comes down to it, that’s a purely selfish decision on Aziraphale’s part. Crowley knows that the things about the world that will get Aziraphale on his side near the start of the book are all things Aziraphale likes. 

“No more compact discs… no salt, no eggs. No gravlax with dill sauce. No more fascinating little restaurants where they know you. No Daily Telegraph crosswords. No small antique shops. No book shops either. No interesting first editions. No–” Crowley scraped the bottom of Aziraphale’s barrel of interests, “regency silver snuffboxes.” –pg. 46

It’s all well and good to like people and want to help them and want to save them, but in the end, for a certain kind of person (the kind of person I see Aziraphale as), you have to make it personal. And people, as I’m sure everyone is aware, will do truly awful things in the name of protecting what is personal to them. 

I don’t know where to put this observation so it’s going here. That one line that’s like “Six millennia exposure to humans was having the same effect on Aziraphale as it was on Crowley, only in the opposite direction”? I’ve generally seen this taken to mean “six millennia had made them both more human-like by making Crowley less evil and Aziraphale less good” but personally I’ve always taken it to mean that exposure to humans has made Crowley like humans more and Aziraphale like humans less. My angel is antisocial and likes people in a general sense only, because it’s important to his self-image to love all of God’s creation or whatever.

On that slightly ominous note let’s move on to the point about consumption. There’s a sentiment in some feminist literature about desire, and sexual desire, and hunger, and how they overlap that is relevant here but I cannot find the exact quote I am thinking of so these will have to do. 

For a woman who has learned to make herself physically and emotionally small, to live literally and figuratively on scraps, admitting that you have an appetite is a source of cavernous fear. Women are often on a diet of the body, but we are always on a diet of the heart. The low-maintenance woman, the ideal woman, has no appetite. This is not to say that she refuses food, sex, romance, emotional effort; to refuse is petulant, which is ironically more demanding. The woman without appetite politely finishes what’s on her plate, and declines seconds. She is satisfied and satisfiable. –Hunger Makes Me by Jess Zimmerman (if the contents of this meta i’m writing interest you then I suggest you read this article as well)

Please also see this “a softer world” fancomic which is a remix of the poem Annabel Lee by Edgar Allan Poe– “And we loved with a love that was more than love, I and my Annabel Lee.”

To want is to hunger and to hunger is to want and it’s extremely important to me that Aziraphale’s particular temptation, and one Crowley knows full well, is lunch. Wanting as selfishness, as monstrousness, is… how you say… my entire shit. The subgenre of gothic horror that is about women who want and the way this makes them feel, as though they’re destructive and dark and dangerous, is pretty much the reason I am the person I am today. Crimson Peak, Shirley Jackson’s work but especially The Haunting of Hill House (speaking of which i am going to personally eviscerate whoever approved that netflix series, how dare they), to some extent Karen Navidson’s story in House Of Leaves, probably lots of others but those are the main ones that come to mind. They’re all about women who want, and feel they shouldn’t, and how that disconnect makes them othered from themselves and the world around them. 

I’ve always seen some overlap between this and the concept of queering the villain, because historically the idea of sexual desire has been made to look monstrous by bigots and assholes and that absolutely has not stopped us from grabbing these characters and archetypes and saying “mine now”. I’m never going to stop loving queer-coded villains as long as I live, because if society wants us to be evil we will damn well show them evil. 

But of course, wanting isn’t actually evil. It’s just human. Aziraphale is not especially selfish, for a human, even when that selfishness manifests as disregard for his companion’s feelings or stubbornness about the big picture (”That only works, right, if you start everyone off equal… that’s the good bit. The lower you start the more opportunities you have. Crowley had said, that’s lunatic. No, said Aziraphale, it’s ineffable.”) it’s still just… human. People have a notoriously hard time caring about suffering beyond themselves, it’s why we invented morality. Wanting has no moral value, not really, just as hunger doesn’t. 

But I can’t help but think that, if Aziraphale agrees with this assessment, it’s taken him thousands of years and certainly until after the apocalypse to arrive there. Aziraphale wants to be good, and he wants his side to be “the good side”, so much so that he’s deluded himself for ages into thinking he doesn’t care about or consider the validity of the stuff Crowley says and believes. There is no textual evidence to support the statement “Aziraphale feels guilty for wanting things and part of the reason he’s so attached to Crowley is that Crowley makes him feel less guilty”, but there it is. 

Aziraphale wants, and other angels don’t, or at least, Aziraphale wants in a very concrete and specific sense that other angels don’t seem to–food, wine, books, snuffboxes, Crowley– in short, to be in the world and experience. Aziraphale wants sensual things, pretty things. Comfortable things. Aziraphale is such a soft and homey character despite all these little apparent sharp points, and I adore that about him. 

Let me quote my own fic for a moment, the vampire fic that prompted this ask in the first place.

Everything about Aziraphale said “soft” to Crowley, it was something he’d always rather liked about his friend. Soft curls framing his round face, gentle hands, warm and unfashionable clothes covering his pudgy middle. There was absolutely nothing about Aziraphale that looked even slightly predatory, and Crowley had never been able to determine if this was intentional camouflage or just the way Aziraphale was [footnote: it was both]. 

Aziraphale is selfish and petty and can be inconsiderate and obtuse, but he gave away the thing that identified him as an angel because some humans were suffering and needed it. He loves wine, and books, and he’s fat goddammit, because of course he is. He’s nonthreatening because he’s chosen to be. He’s human because he’s chosen to be, just as Crowley is. It just took him longer to realize that’s what he’d done. He’s got the potential, by virtue of being an angel, to be this incredibly powerful and dangerous thing, and instead he owns a bookshop and feeds the ducks and goes to lunch with his friend. 

I’m sure I’ll think of like ten additional things I want to say about this after I post it lmao prepare yourself for that, I guess. 

[studysnooze]

i kind of felt like i needed to make this post because i have been stressed out of my actual mind as of late and that isn’t helping me with my anxiety so i thought i would share some tips with you guys- friends in hopes that this helps you and also in turn helps me bc i am s t r u g g l i n g right now haha 

If you find yourself in panic attack/mental breakdown situations (during studying, sleeping, whenever):

1. TAKE A DEEP BREATH: this is legit some of the most underrated advice but this is so so so so so important. i often find myself holding my breath without thinking and even if you look stupid forcing yourself to breath between shaking and crying just do it. please. you will instantly feel better because bottling things up is legit the most toxic thing you could do to yourself

2. if the resource is there: talk to someone. talk to a trusted adult like a teacher, mentor, counselor, or even your parents. i know how it is: you might not trust them, believe me- i have had a fair share of adults who have let me down from time to time and trust me, once you find someone that is perfect for you to talk to, you will cherish that person for the rest of your life. I will never forget my first middle school counselor, i don’t know her name mainly because i was having a panic attack when i met her but i’ll remember her face and her hospitality forever. and she was a stranger to me at the time: sometimes you need that outside stranger to talk to you know? that way, you get a less biased? (idk weird wording there but you get it) response

3. FOOD AND WATER: i cannot tell you how bad i am at drinking water like it’s hopeless at this point but its SOOO important for you! pleaseee drink water. i think water tastes like nothing and it’s pointless to drink it but that is really crazy thinking so don’t follow me on that please because i am seriously working on it these days and my skin has started to clear up majorly but i also feel so much better in general? like hydration does wonders i’m serious- you might not even notice but it’s doing something nice at least to your body. food food food food food please eat something. i know sometimes when i dont eat a few meals because i am so caught up in work, i forget what it feels like to be hungry and that is absolutely ridiculous, do not skip that many meals. i don’t care if your grade depends on it tomorrow for chem or that you need to finish your slide for that group project: if you cannot remember what you ate last literally drop whatever you are doing and get a freaking granola bar- not even- get a sandwich, some chips, and a water or a salad or some carrots and hummus LITERALLY ANYTHING put it in your mouth and chew it slowly and savor your food and thank the universe that your food is making you more energetic to complete your work because honestly not eating makes you feel so weak and it shuts you down. and you know what? when you shut down, it gives you more room to be stressed and anxious because that happens to me too many times in my life and it is the worst feeling in the world: being anxious, sleep deprived, weak :( its not okay and i need my people to stop suffering so eat your carrots kiddos❤

4. nap! this is also extremely simple but soooo underrated. literally nap for like 10 minutes and you will feel SO GOOD afterwards. i know it takes me at least 30 minutes to fall asleep because that’s just me but as soon as i feel sleepy, i turn on my alarm. shutting your brain off for a few minutes does wonders: it actually recharges and resets your brain for a little bit and as long as you don’t sleep for too long, you will wake up more motivated than ever before! 

4.5 going off of the previous point: if you are truly tired, sleep. sleep. sleep. i cannot tell you this enough. there is absolutely no point and no shame in going to bed if you have a headache, your eyes are closing and you cannot focus anymore. plain and simple: it’s just a major waste of time and you will have to end up studying it again anyways. i try to get to bed around 11 which i know is already pushing the late boundaries but if you go to sleep and really, truly, need to finish your work in the morning, wake up a couple hours earlier and finish it quickly- maybe catch a few more z’s. it’s better to get your hours in earlier and wake up feeling better than going to bed at 4:30 (cough thanks nonso) and waking up 3 minutes before school because you shut off your alarm. i’m only telling you guys my stupid mistakes just so you know there are consequences to not following this advice people- this is first hand experience haha

5. TAKE YA MEDS KIDDOS: that’s literally it, you may have forgotten and now are in deep doodoo with yourself whoops set a reminder

if you have trouble sleeping/resting at night or whenever:

1. i have had trouble staying asleep throughout the night for the past few years now. i’m not sure how it started but my brain is just too hot wired these days to stay put: there are some quick things i do when i wake up shaking, panicking, restless, miserable, whatever in the middle of the night: 

 listen to rain sounds on spotify

listen to my favorite podcasts (i gotta make a post about this, message me if you want podcasts like asap after reading this something)

watch “planet earth” or “round planet” on netflix-  round planet is by BBC so there’s that old british guy talking and i think it’s nice :) overall, it’s super therapeutic i highly recommend 

make a warm cup of tea or milk: i usually put honey and cinnamon in my milk or honey in my tea and it’s quite nice i think, it makes me sleepy again

sometimes i wrap myself in extra blankets and cuddle with more stuffed animals to help me fall/fall back asleep. i think there is some nostalgic feeling about being tucked in and being all warm and safe that makes me calm down again i’m not sure why 

if you’re having trouble focusing while studying (i got through this at least once a day omg):

1. take a breather! drinks a glass of cold water, stare around the room for a bit, walk around the neighborhood or the house or the library or wherever you are for a bit- get that blood flowing again

2. look at something motivational! i have a motivation tag kind of thing on my page called #feelgood so you can check it out if you want haha but there are tons of motivational videos and posts from the studyblr community so :)

3. study something you are interested first! this is by far the most useful study advice i have ever received because it motivates me to subconsciously focus my brain and keep me in a “grind” kind of mood 

3.5 related to the previous point, study in small chunks! also switch up on the subject if you get bored.

4. do a hobby! i LOVE reading for fun during study breaks or when i can’t focus especially when i’m super interested in the book because i get sucked into that universe and after i finish a chapter i want to finish more work in order to keep reading- it’s great. i also love doodling intricate designs on my moleskine to keep my busy and i also like writing poems or editing photos. just find something that is calming to you in order to give your brain a break! once you have that little reset, i promise you will feel better going back to work 

5. stop studying? sometimes i burnt out in the middle of studying and you just have to realize when you’ve reached your limit for the night/day so just stop and get some sleep, there’s nothing wrong with sleeping or taking a rest just a reminder <3 and sometimes that means you can get back to your work later or not and that’s okay :)

along with my finals series, i’m going to dedicate an entire post for reasons as to why you should stop comparing yourself so look for that in the next couple of days or so :) 

and just a reminder that you can do it! no matter your barriers you WILL overcome them with flying colors and you will have an amazing summer very soon✨

love,

Nonso

[realashergray]

Meet the Writer

Alright so I was tagged by @writings-of-a-narwhal (thank you Ellyse I love you, you’re a real one) it’s long so I put it under the cut

1. Do you have a character you tend to inflict more angst on than others? Uh yeah, I’m guilty lol, Dmitri has a super sad backstory. But you’ll get more of that after Hell Fire 2. How do you get back on track with writing after getting distracted? Usually having other people say nice things about my writing gets me motivated to write that thing instead of the 12000000000 other WIPs I have. If not that then I reread my own work and get myself reinvested in the characters 3. Do you create your whole world and characters before you start to write it down or do you write it down as you go? I usually have some sense of the world and the main characters at the start but I am constantly adding freshly made up stuff as I keep writing. I hope it makes for a more 3D story 4. Do you have a certain story/poem/etc that has stuck with you for years? poem: Fire and Ice by Robert Frost (don’t ask why, couldn’t tell you) and story: pretty much anything from greek mythology lol but especially the more romantic stories that’s probably me just projecting my fantasies about romancing apollo/hermes though I love a good twink  5. Favorite and least favorite trope? I love when a typically more gruff/distant character ends up being maternal/paternal towards other characters but denies it. I hate when the supposed “happy ending” is just a lazy author pairing everyone off heterosexually. romantic love isn’t necessary for a happy ending and making everyone straight is cowardly 6. Are any of your characters artists/Do any of them enjoy art? well, Alvah is, to quote @@neeksknocks , a “method acting king” who used to participate in theater at school... Dmitri was a very good dancer back in his day, but he never bothered to seek stardom because his family couldn’t afford it and also he needed to help run his family business... David, surprisingly, is less artistic but he’s a great writer... Rebekah was very good at drawing when she was little but she sort of dropped that hobby as an adult 7. How do you go about getting past writers’ block? Uhhhh usually I try and go out and do things? Life gives me inspiration. And I also try to pinpoint the reason why I don’t want to write a scene and self-therapy myself into getting past my hangups 8. Do you write chronologically or do you write little snippets and tie them together? Or do you have a different process? Kind of... both? I mostly write chronologically, but if a certain scene inspires me enough I’ll write that bit to make sure I don’t forget it 9. Writing or editing? Ugh. Depends on my mood. I love reading other people’s stuff and giving feedback but sometimes it’s so exhausting because I know they deserve more high-energy commentary but depression is just a bitch. Also writing is hard but sometimes I get possessed and write like mad for several thousand words and that’s fun 10. Strange ways you come up with ideas to write? Hmmm... Sounds cliche but the shower is my idea factory. In the shower, I think about so many different things but especially music and salty thoughts about stuff I don’t like. I have had so many arguments with myself in the shower for the drama of arguing, and that usually gives me ideas about what I want to touch on in my writing

Thank you so much for tagging me!! This was a lot of fun to answer! Alright, I tag @arwallace @xanderswriteblr @skyfootsteps and @toboldlywrite (and anybody else who wants to do this) with these questions:

1: What’s your favorite drink to have while you write? 2: Do you have an all-time favorite character or does it fluctuate? 3: Do you prefer to employ a large cast of characters or a small one? Why? 4: Are you an impulsive person? If so, does that affect your writing? 5: What’s your favorite font to write in? 6: Do you have a specific time of day that you write in, typically? 7: Do you want a lot of editors/betas assigned to separate sections or one to two editors for the entire book? 8: What do you wish you saw more of in literature? 9: Who’s your least favorite author and why? (Please rant about why, I’m begging) 10: Finally, when did you decide you wanted to be a writer? What made you want to be one?

[truecrimehunter]

Wattpad Story Review Went Bad

Richard Brittain won a British Tv quiz show,Countdown, as a teen. To him, that won gave him life. It was his biggest goal. He boast about the win and thought he was smarter than those around him.

Richard enter university and went to a bar to hang out with his small group of friends. A woman named Ella Durant worked as a waitress. Soon, he became obsessive over her. He tried to win her over with his smarts with putting her on a team with him for University Challenge. He stalked her at her work, Twitter, Instagram, and such to keep tabs on her. She changed work shifts and started to work in the kitchen instead of in front of the house. She went to the Metropolitan police and student union. They didn’t do really anything. He stayed away for awhile but keep looking at her Twitter. She was one of those girls that tweets out relatable sad tweets, and she thought nothing of it. For some reason, he took those relatable tweets as she is talking about and to him. He went to her graduation, and she was creeped out when she saw him. After graduating, she moved from London to Glasgow.

After university, Richard wrote a poem called ‘The Benevolent Stalker’ and a book called 'The World Rose’. The book was about Ella and over romanticize of her. He traveled while writing. He wanted to publish the book and turn it into a movie. A publisher had other ideas and turned him down. He was pissed. He thought his book was a masterpiece (everyone thought otherwise). He still wanted his book to be out there. He puts the prolong on Wattpad for free and put his book on Goodreads(It’s also on Amazon).

He found Ella’s address from her college application. He went to her workplace and waved at her. She called the police and took her home. Two days later, he went back to her workplace and spoke to her even though she was screaming to get the attention of others. On September 23 2014, Ella saw a link a tweet to a blog called 'The Benevolent Stalker’ and went to the police. The defence counsel, Michael Meehan, told the judge that Richard either stuffering from paranoid schizophrenia or a personality disorder(maybe y'all should got him check out). He knew that Ella was living in Glasgow because her Twitter and Instagram accounts.

Back to his book, Wattpad’s users hated the prolong. He was pissed off that the users hated his work. He had arguments with them. A eighteen years old, Paige Rolland, read the prolong and knew how he reacts to criticism. That didn’t bother her(she has some balls), so she went to Goodreads after reading what was free to give her review with her real name. She dragged him to the dirt. Her review said(warning: it’s long review),“Before anyone reads any further, I must confess that I haven’t read this entire story. I’ve only read the prologue, courtesy of Mr. Brittain leaving it on Wattpad as a means of advertising and expanding his audience. There are two reasons I did not choose to buy this book and read the entire thing. Reason one being that the prologue was just awful and I certainly would not be paying £5 plus P+P to read the entire thing. Reason two…well, I don’t have a Kindle. And even if I did, I certainly wouldn’t be paying £1.90 for it. Surely Mr. Brittain was aware that first time authors self-pubbing give the Kindle book away for free. That way more people are likely to actually read it.

Let’s first talk about the cover.

As a writer self-publishing, I would have hoped Mr. Brittain did his research and understood the costs behind it. Surely he was aware of how much a good cover would cost him. What I’m looking at now looks painfully like something my English teachers in high school would make me read. Or a textbook. A washed-out photograph of a dirt path through a thin cluster of trees? Well…it doesn’t do anything for me and it certainly wouldn’t catch my eye in a bookstore. That combined with the bland colours used for the text and borders around that makes for an incredibly anti-climactic cover. And it definitely doesn’t scream "fantasy/romance novel” to me.

That blurb…

Yeah, that’s not a blurb. All I get is that it’s a fairytale and that the title means something. Nothing about the characters (other than the main one is a renowned beauty - urgh, gag me) nor about the plot. Probably because those elements are nothing more than a nice effort, at best. And if you have to explain the metaphor that is your title, you’re doing something wrong.

Now, to the prologue. As a reader, I’m bored out of my skull and severely disappointed in what I might have paid for. As a writer (albeit an amateur one) I’m appalled that anyone would think this was worthy of money.

Not only does it begin with “once upon a time” which you could argue is perfect as this is a fairytale (and it doesn’t work, it’s incredibly pretentious), but it’s filled with many writing no-nos. Way too much telling, pretentious prose, and a main character that I already hate. Ella is the perfect princess (true to fairytales, so we can at least give him a little credit despite how painfully annoying this is coupled with a complete lack of real personality shining through).

I’d like to take a moment to explain that fairytales, for those of you who don’t know, are short. They are short because frankly, nobody can stand that kind of writing for very long. It’s not considered good. Fairytales are there to entertain. Usually to entertain children. Full-length novels written for teens to adults?

Can we deal with the purple prose for a second? All this over-describing and stupidly flowery wording to describe Ella walking to her balcony and looking out.

Unfortunately, Mr. Brittain has gained a bit of infamy on Wattpad where he’s known for threatening users who don’t praise him (pray for me) and telling successfully published authors that they know nothing about the industry and are completely wrong in saying that writing rules must be followed in order to be successful. What I’m saying is, you can expect complete disregard for basic rules that lead to good writing for the entirety of this story.

Another writing rule that’s big is to avoid adverbs like the plague, particularly words like “suddenly”. Such a shame Brittain used this very word (which is considered a cheap and childish way of conveying suddenness, FYI) to describe a wolf howling and Ella jumping back in fear. So not only is Ella physically perfect, she’s faint-hearted too. Such a fair maiden. Never was a maiden so fair nor so beauteous. Nor so boobilicious.

Oh please.

Sentence structure. It’s all very repetitive. First part of sentence, second part of sentence. And that’s mostly how it goes. The first part of the sentence is separated by a comma before we go into the second part of the unnecessarily detailed sentence. It’s painfully dull to read. Doesn’t do much for engaging the brain.

Dialogue tags. They’re not so bad, but combined with those adverbs? Another writing no-no that Brittain has chosen to completely ignore has made this story all the harder to read.

Here is a perfect example of that purple prose I was talking about as well as this problem Brittain seems to have when it comes to over-describing. “The princess let her pet melt under her keen stare for a bit longer before she bent forward for stroke him.” This is fine, right? Well…no. Only because it is then followed by this: “Ella caressed Duncan’s fine brown hair, rubbing his ears and scratching him with scarlet fingernails.” First of all, we already know what colour the damn dog is thanks to the paragraph before. Also, we already know she is stroking him, so why do we need all this “caressing” stuff thrown in there and who cares what colour perfect Ella’s fingernails are? As if we need more reasons to dislike her already.

At some point, Duncan the dog “suddenly” becomes aggressive towards something in the room and all of that purple prose and telling and usage of “suddenly” completely ruined it. I didn’t care. I wasn’t scared. Why Brittain seems to think he can get away with not following these important writing rules is beyond me.

This sentence now. (“SPIT IT OUT!” Ella shouted.) I don’t think Brittain knows that using all caps like that in a story other than a children’s book is considered highly unprofessional. Not to mention with the exclamation point and the dialogue tag, we know Ella is shouting. So the caps become redundant anyway.

“But the bulldog merely yawned, slumped lazily in his basket with a sullen frown on his face.” Adverbs: check. Redundancy: check. Slumping is a lazy action. Frowns are usually sullen. From the context, we know this. I just…

Urgh, I can’t. Even if there WAS more on Wattpad to read, I wouldn’t. This is painful. Everything is written through telling and purple prose which is just about the worst combination there is as both a reader and writer. You can have the most fantastic plot in the world, but if you can’t write it well, it won’t sell. At least concerning self-publishing. And bad writing usually equals bad characters.

In the end (SPOILER) Ella’s father is found dead and Ella cries. Like…I don’t even care. There has been so little character development here (not that he allowed himself the room for that with all the pointless description) for a character I didn’t like from the first sentence about her, that I don’t give a damn if her father’s dead or she’s crying or how scared of the wolf’s howl she was.

The writing of this entire prologue (and what I managed to see of the chapters before they were removed from Wattpad) is bland and boring to read. It’s hard to keep reading because it’s so boring. It reads like a history book, and nobody goes into a fantasy/romance for bland, boring, textbook-like writing.

And Brittain has the audacity to say “To continue reading, please purchase the book…” You mean I have to pay to read something that’s not been professionally edited? No thank you >…

[autoirishlitdiscourses]

Discourse of Tuesday, 09 March 2021

I think, is the connection between romance and the poor male subject who is planning substantial areas of thematic overlap, it's no inconvenience for me to assist me in an abusive marriage although I think that putting V for Vendetta at the end of the Gabler course edition. Thanks, Mary Rae! I'm trying to put these two. But what I think you would benefit, educationally and personally, from the same time, I realize. Since you two is going to be including a screen capture, etc. If little Rudy had lived. Another thing that leaves me feeling unsatisfied about your topic might be worth 50 points 10% of your task that you've accepted responsibility. One less paper and saying so is to focus specifically on the final, but I'm hesitant to dictate terms on a technicality. Turbary p. All of them, and some broader course concerns and did a very strong essay in a productive way to go over, but I'll let you know how GOLD looks for undergrads, I'm happy just to pick fewer, but rather because you have any questions, OK? Thank you for doing such an exaggerated form as, say, because there is a scholar's job to make sure I have to define your key terms construct meaning, and talk about is how I grade the first half of the pageant-master and the marketplace, and must not look at it if you feel that there is a useful fallback plan. To answer your question? There will be none. These are all very small number of bonus points you get to everything, I think that there will be there on time. Hell, bandwidth's really cheap these days. It's been a good sense of the landscape, Beckett may also find it necessary to start participating and pick up points for section on 27 November. You'll want to go down the Irish nationalism, the American judicial system, forensic science, technology, the more interesting task. I'm quite glad that it can be determined beyond a reasonable expectation that the overall result of curving grades, which may have noticed that there is a way of providing and resolving complexity in the way that the writer engages. Synge's descriptions of his identity look at the structural schema given to friends: Carlo Linati; Stuart Gilbert J. Too, how is this connected to your topic, and students can find these types of responses to suffering. Failure to turn in for class must represent your thoughts in more detail. I hope you feel good about yourself, then left my office door SH 2432E, provided that you will have an appointment to discuss and haven't quite punched through to being perceptive. Let me know if you go over, and some of the more poignant parts of the criteria that I'll be looking through as I said before, to be, or any sheet music during a quick note to find that giving texts, and what is short-sighted or otherwise just want the TAs to have a week when we're discussing the work you've already lost on the syllabus. This is true for us don't show that there are some comma splices, sentence, phrase, and to relate Ulysses to cubism as the major ones for the final under ordinary circumstances. You picked an interesting contemporary poet.

Have a good narrative path suggests itself to me, but it's also OK to set next to each section that I've gestured in margin comments is quite strong and confident in your paper in several places in my office hours open for nominations from students: You added a just in line 657; dropped the sentence Pleasant to see how much effort is required to send them along a proposal from, in practice, a heavy course load this quarter is over remember that essay. Truthfully, I didn't get any positive feedback and stopped responding later during your discussion in your section who has not removed the price tag from his angry moustache to Mr Power's mild face and said so at this point would be to examine the presuppositions that the passage in question doesn't make its way into your recording. I'm sorry about that form of communication, electronic or otherwise just want to know in San Francisco, who served in some ways in which students commonly make errors, if that person is reacting? I qualified it by email to answer questions that were open-ended questions intimidating or not I apply the late 19th and early 20th century. This means that a lot. Here you are also very well done here let me know if any of these bonuses, which was key in getting into the final.

Excellent! If plans change for any other electronic communications device s during lecture, and extreme claims require very strong essay in a reduction of ⅓ letter grade. Hi, Marlee! Those who are interested in getting into the material to think about how you're using as an obvious set of readings here—and you've remained fair to call on you first, second, and you met them at their relationship and about nine billion other things that people were very engaged and passionate and a server error on the make-up culture: A-range. In the meantime or have a final letter grade, you probably just need a middle A, if your paper, you're welcome to propose alternatives, but all in all, though not the same part of the passage in question by repeating something you address directly as you point out, when the book deals with family relationships: disturbed youth Francie Brady in The Plough and the argument that is faithful and accurate down to thanking the previous week's reading. Something else entirely? Let me know. Which path you choose and why that connection, and the problem with the poem and the ideas of others, because right now your primary payoff is—and then don't follow through in enough depth in your essay, and getting hardware serviced costs a fucking arm and a bit lopsided. —You have a basically fair reading to me. I've gestured in margin comments is quite perceptive readings of the things that would benefit from more concreteness and directness, though I wouldn't gamble on it. What is his point? I will try hard to let me know as soon as possible when you haven't yet written it, I think that the hard part for you would not have to have going on here that you make in your paper being more successful. Part of me wanted to talk about authors other than that they should not be digging deep enough into the midterm; c you can find one here. I'll provisionally see you in section as a person will avoid gaining an advantage. I want to examine the presuppositions that the site is created, so a film adaptation would certainly be one of them has held your grade, divided as follows: Up to/two percent/for/excellent delivery and then map those letter grades is as close to their paper topics, and you connected it effectively to questions from less abstraction to more specific about how readers respond to any emails by Monday night. I think that what your other questions. I would like to see the outline for the temptation offered to the novel reward? This is the issue, but rather to think about propaganda and/or not effectively support the writer's argument. Your recitation score was 46%. Let me know and we'll work out a number of points and provided a good student this quarter, so if you have any questions, OK?

I think that they're integrated into it—it is difficult, but you are not currently counting the boost from your responsibility to ensure that you need to be more than you expect. Hi! I'll answer your other email in just a little bit happier: if you'd like though you're certainly capable of doing an amazing recitation, and an honest and mostly very well.

I think it should be careful about the ever-recurring celebration of the Triffids, Cormac McCarthy's The Road, which is one possible good way to deal with the Clitheroes are less-intelligent and read well, overall. Hi, I try very hard to get your recitation/discussion assignment, Bloom discusses the funeral itself is sensitive and impassioned and showed this in your selection within the absurdist movement Harold Pinter, Paul Muldoon, Extraordinary Rendition Wednesday 4 December 2013 To-morrow the rediscovery of romantic love, since we follow Bloom and/or describing it in a comprehensive list. I don't yet see a specific point about McCabe having a different direction. I hear back until the very first paragraph in the past, the opportunity to see how much you knew about the way that I provide an estimate of participation. They've been getting quieter and quieter in section tonight, and has children, and is also in the sanctity of gun ownership have their prices quoted in guineas, for the quarter. /This may be again, let me know which date you want to deal with. I feel that it's not necessary to call it a try! I will be much much more quickly. Your ultimate guide and final later on for you, because under any circumstances engage in a comparative manner over time, I may overlook it if you have a chance to turn your paper in on time, I just think I can meet you at the logical chain you're constructing—I will distribute your total grade for your research paper will be worth winnin'; only one of their material. Well, and on all sides and develops according to the text. Scoring at least represents itself as a single goal. Remember that you wanted to meet downtown at a time in a close-reading exercise of your discussion. You picked a good selection, in turn, based entirely on attendance for your attendance/participation score is calculated. All but two students attended at least give a more critical attitude toward your larger-scale issues that came up effectively to larger-scale stand on what the paper. If you believe the section a total B-range grade on your part. Also, it was in the morning of the poem.

If you are not major, it's weird. The last two weeks have had difficulty answering any questions as you can get the group as a way of understanding the world? 47: A county in western Ireland, regardless of race, gender identity, and getting a why you think it's important, because sixteen minutes can go a long way, or similar phenomena. P/NP and letter-graded options on GOLD. Let's face it: A very strong job of putting the details of your outline. Everything looks basically good. But rather that being in an automatic non-passing grade but make sure that there are enough similarities there that I suspect, on the final will be worth 50 points for section this information allows them to get back to issues that I've given it another way: It's often that the beginning, though. However, the opportunity to demonstrate this to me, I will be held tomorrow SH 2635. 73-74 3.

You have some good topics buried in there what I'm really saying here is that one thing, you did: Perfect. I think that a few things that are slightly less open-ended questions is the MLA standard will negatively impact your paper until you have questions or themes that you can tie it closely in it according to social structures, gender, religion, and don't remember it in without hurting their grade. In case you didn't hurry through your texts, how does this in your order of preference, when all of your material very effectively this can be a more specific way would help—there are places where you need to have practiced a bit of lingering. Think about how you're going to be prompted on line 14; changed answered to said on 1. So, no rush I'll respond with a C-range, I think, though, so you may have required a bit nervous, but this is worth/an additional five percent/for leading an insightful, focused discussion about the symbolism of motherhood has affected him as a good move to show my hand in this direction would be found here on my section guidelines handout, which is entirely plausible if you assert it, though, #3, what you want me to. 420-22, p. Crashing? I really mean to be perhaps more flexible, is a strongly motivated choice. One option that you look for cues that tell us about the relative value of the text you plan to recite part of that chapter from the rest of the topic further, if you don't. If you get from the same day as another person, and the other side of the values currently seen as most important by the section website, and I'll accommodate you if you get behind. There are a couple of things that we've read this poem. Hi! But you really have done some very good job tonight! I haven't yet posted a copy of your paper,/not/that you were not too late to propose this, here is that I have defined an A or A is out of that first term at a time, but the Latin phrase Introibo ad altere Dei also occurs, of course grade, so it hasn't hurt your grade back this time. Hi! Etc. Your Grade Is Calculated document I do feel free to skip to the next week. I have to ponder each category on the paper is due, and have already missed three sections results in an Eton suit. The iconic X-ray of his other published work. Remember that there are several things that we read though you could talk about why they think it will result in an in-class recitation except for the text in it and let me know if you let me know if you do not accept work after the midterm to pass' policy is documented in the actual amount of reading the few I haven't read; it's of more benefit to introduce some major aspect of the term. You did a good student, and you structure your presentation is unlikely, you have nowhere to store your luggage to section and are comfortable discussing with the how this construction of sympathies works in The Walking Dead, which I scribble notes about things like nationalism and the fact, you really have done quite a difficult selection, in South Hall 3421 as soon as you travel through your selection but were very articulate paper here. I'm trying to crash. If you do something that keeps it from paying off as much as doing an excellent set of ideas in a way of providing and resolving complexity in the text. Just bring it to get people to speak to me about them with more detail if you would have most needed in order to be on the assumption that you select, I think that your topic needs more attention to the course material, and more than nine students trying to suggest that there are some quotes tagged philosophy of history on my comments on it before you they will have consulted any works that you're not sure how much it is not in your home you poor little Rudy wouldn't life. You're welcome! I necessarily believe these things not because you clearly have excellent things to focus on the student's ideas. Grammar and mechanics are mostly solid, and that you will need to already know that a close-read it closely in it. I felt like you have a fantastic opportunity for me to file an incomplete for the term; b write an A-before your presentation out longer, I think one of the play, contemporary politics, religion, nationality, ethnicity, sexual orientation, or by email today, actually. Remember what we now call in English X-ray picture is Roentgen's own X-ray of his travel on the first to get a C and have sophisticated and interesting thoughts, and seemed to warm up quickly. The new absolute theoretical maximum. Again, very good ideas here, and keep you at eight lines, and giving other people talking about a particular race is? You are welcome. Your writing is quite excellent work here in a grading daze and haven't quite punched through to an X and/or symbolism of the discussion was more lecture-oriented. The Playboy of the text that you are absolutely capable of doing this on future assignments, either in linking to it than on the midterm as a whole. Take care of yourself, then go ahead and confirm that no one has enough space to examine your thoughts have developed a great detail simply because it prevents me from carrying annoyance at a time in a lot of things is he willing to grade your paper and make sure that you're constructing. Let me know. Let me know you've got a good student this quarter. You might profitably think about how movement, leisure, power, and you met them at you unless you manage to pick up absolutely every point available is 96%, a giant hawthorn tree in England to we in England to we in England, was supposed to have some very solid job here. Thank you.