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aniqua · 11 months ago

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error: b3n3v013nt | yandere!qimir x droid!reader

✧content: 18+ mdni, f!reader, smut, angst, overstim, p in v, mean qimir, dacryphilia, pathetic dom qimir, mentions of character death, edging, punishment, condescension, toxic relationship, reader and the waterworks

✧note: chasing the clock before I head to my job. no grammar checks until later, we die like girlbosses.

✧word count: 4.8K

✧series masterlist

The defense protocols of your system registered the angle of attack the instant Qimir decided to send you a punch. So when you dodged it, you anticipated to be in the clear. However, it was foolish of you to be sloppy. It was a strike that wasn’t in your field of view that took you down. You felt him swipe you from under your feet, resulting in you impacting the mat for the sixth time. Even with all your effort, your intelligence couldn’t make up for the experience he had over you. Your only solution was to whine as you lay on the mat and watch him stand over you with a smirk that fostered frustration in your thoughts.

“Can I activate self-defense?” you said with all the petulance you could manufacture. Activating self-defense meant activating your strength which you understood was one of the many reasons why it was your third time requesting permission in the first place.

Qimir took your hand and brought you back up so effortlessly to stand parallel to him. “And what’re you gonna do if you end up in a situation where you can’t? A glitch isn’t likely–”

“But the possibility is never zero,” you recited in defeat as you recalculated your plan of attack.

“Ready?” Qimir asked as he returned to a defensive stance. His biceps were promising to break his longsleeves yet he seemed entirely in control of every contraction and relaxation of his muscles. You nodded and anchored your feet ready for your next round.

Qimir went for a few simple swings and weak spots to reinforce your learning. As you blocked each attack and tried–but failed–to land your own, you felt the intensity increase. You made a concerted effort to lock in your focus even as you watched him move like rushing water. It felt like solving equations as variables were rapidly being changed. It all came to a head when he secured a hold on your wrists and pinned both of your hands behind your back.

All the falling came to a stop as you listened to him catch his breath while you mimicked his breath even though there was no reason for you to. It was a force of habit.

As Qimir stood there with his chest against your back, he couldn’t resist drawing a bit closer to let your scent wash over him like a prize for victory. He had you cornered which excited the pedagogue. Not a moment with you did he not use every opportunity to abuse the proximity that he would always have a hand in orchestrating. To indulge, he placed himself in between where your neck and shoulder met.

“Is this a part of the lesson?” you asked as your eyes danced around.

“I hope not,” he said and went for a kiss to your neck. “Do you plan for anyone else to do this to you?” he asked in between each kiss’s breath. You were getting better at reading between the lines he wrote but sometimes it took you a while. The pause to process earned you a playful bite on your neck that had you leep from your skin.

“Qimir,” you called. He still had your arms pinned.

“You didn’t answer the question,” he taunted through playful tight lips.

“No,” you answer.

“Good,” you could hear him smile even if you didn’t see it. He landed a final kiss on your cheek and then spoke a few words into your ear. “[Name], activate self-defense,” he whispered.

Your back straightened on demand as your eyes flashed white.

Without any further instruction, you elbowed Qimir with enough force to knock him far back enough to meet the nearby wall. You hadn’t seen the collision but the thud and followed groan was enough for you to use inductive reasoning.

“Qimir!” you gasped as you ran.

“I’m good,” he sported an unconvincing smile while holding his side. You started reaching for him. “I’m fine,” he interrupted as he held out a hand. “Good girl,” he praised with a gentle pat on your cheek that made you forget your motor skills. “You followed orders.”

“May I help?” you asked carefully as you took his hand.

As much as Qimir wanted to refuse your help in exchange for engulfing you in his sheets with a tight hug until the pain went away, there were certain things he had to let you do. When you had something to do, it kept you from getting antsy and asking hard questions.

“Would you like me to remove your shirt?” you asked as you placed down your collected materials.

“There’s a sexier way to say that,” he bantered as he started lifting the hem of his long sleeve.

“Unfortunately, I’m aiding with medical assistance,” was all you could manage to say without causing your outputs to spike too high.

Qimir simply hummed in response. You watched in wonder as his crafted physique came out of the item. His body stretched and then relaxed when he had finished tossing the fabric aside. A faint but present bruise decorated the skin that sat where you had elbowed him.

“Bruising detected over LLQ,” was what he heard as he marveled at your features. The way your hands ghosted over the surrounding skin to have a better look at the damage made Qimir hungry but he was good at being patient.

“Apply this for fifteen minutes by the hour for the next 24 hours.” You handed him a cold sack of solution.

Your laser focus took you from a concerned lover to a professional healer. It provided a sense of deja vu to one person among the two. He let you continue as you made your way to his back for further inspection without thinking too deeply. Even Qimir had a recent tendency to escape off to other places only to be brought back by the next inconvenience he saw as a fire. This time it took on the form of a soft finger tracing along his scar. The sensation ghosted his skin and possessed his thoughts like a haunting apparition. An uncanny familiarity made him scared to look behind to see who he’d find. He jolted out of the chair once he had processed the check in his leg.

“That’s enough of that.” He made the extra effort to sound light-hearted.

“Your scar,” you said timidly. He didn’t like the way your eyes twinkled when you spoke.

You didn’t mean to touch but when you had come face to face with a vine running across his skin, for some reason, you almost wished to kiss it.

“Oh, yeah,” he started reaching for his sack. He was cursing himself for forgetting that you hadn’t actually ever seen it. He didn't know how to show you for fear of you digging. “I’ve always had it,” he lied like you couldn’t differentiate scars by type. But your deep learning told you to drop it.

“I haven’t finished,” you insisted as he put on his shirt.

“I’ve got a head out anyway. Don’t wanna be late,” he scrambled. “Don’t open the door.” He put on his robe. “Your new books are in the box by the bookshelf,” he said as he grabbed a few coins from a drawer. He gave your forehead a kiss and he was gone.

You hated when he left you alone because you were left to spend your time waiting for his return hoping he would come back like he promised.

Deep into the night, you had exhausted all your options for entertainment. Five hours had passed and you weren’t even finding the holonet to be any bit entertaining. The sounds of programs zipping by at your command. The background sounds weren’t even all that comforting. That’s how you found yourself dusting the trinkets throughout the home for the fourth time that week. You went from the ground floor shop to the living room, until you traveled up another set of stairs.

As you returned the mats to their rightful spots, you couldn’t help but peek at the room across the hall. With an empty and active imagination, restricted areas were starting to appear like uncharted waters. The door of the room that you were told to never enter had been left open by the smallest sliver that only an eye like yours could catch.

It was an enticing predicament. Another moment that tested your control over your new emotions. What was once an easy order to fulfill became a sign of your growing flaws. You convinced yourself that you initially walked toward it because you wanted to close it yourself. After all, how could you ignore an opportunity to be of help? Your journey crossing the hall with very careful steps was marked with you repeatedly justifying each move forward.

By the time you reached the door, you should have none better than to let that be your first act of blatant defiance but you chose to override your orders. You were willing to widen the gap if it meant satiating your curiosity.

Your plan was to express that it was an honest mistake. However, nothing could have prepared you for what your eyes would catch. It was something that you never going to be able to feign ignorance toward.

You stood grounded as you watched Pandora’s box. The first things to come out were the piles of paper that were scattered across the floors and on the walls. Though the space was dark, it was half illuminated by the light of the hall and the other half by the main source that operated in the center. A chamber of sorts that lets you see the entity at the bottom of the box. You’d open a box to find yourself in it. There you were with shut eyes in the chamber.

You almost dropped at the site. There were no distorted mirrors but you were staring at a reflection of yourself that was much paler, much quieter, and entirely clueless to your discovery. The was no expectation for what you found and all your algorithm could say was to turn back from the potential threat. Yet, it was too late now to pretend like you hadn’t seen anything.

So you took your first step outside of the cave and further inside the room. Your vision combed over the oddity and tried to analyze what exactly you had found. Every aspect of your system was searching, cross-referencing, and calculating. Anything to make sense of what you were witnessing.

Despite your protest, your other self looked everything like you. The only difference was the makeup and the state of being. You saw yourself peppered with crystals of ice all over you once you drew closer to the shining blue lantern like a moth. Just in time for this discovery, your search found the lantern to be a nitrogen chamber.

Your focus denied surrounding books, scribbled theories, and torn pages on reanimation. As you overlooked your surroundings, you made first contact with your alien as you brought your hand against the glad. With your wide eyes that reflected the blue, your first tears crawled out of one corner. It was a peculiar reaction that you hadn’t initiated but your first chance of self-reflection was interrupted.

“What are you doing?” Qimir’s voice cut through the room. He sounded close but you were hesitant to turn around when his question sounded too still.

“You’re home,” was all you could muster out as you carefully turned around to see him.

“[Name]–” his lips formed a hard line in the sand.

There were only a few ways you could soften the oncoming crash so you rushed to say, “The door was open and I was just closing–”

“I ordered you not to never go in here.” you didn’t miss the way his jaw tightened.

You had no defense to his words as you just watched an oncoming asteroid in silence. “Get out,” he said.

“I’m so–” you pleaded as you started to approach him. Perhaps you could have appealed to his understanding but he stopped you from getting any closer. Qimir reached for the back of your neck and held you from there.

“Get out,” he punctuated every word as you felt his strength lift you a bit off the ground. “Before I sell your scraps,” he hissed and dropped you instantly.

On first landing, you wasted no time and went scurrying down the stairs for your charging station. You connected immediately in the hopes that you wouldn’t have to face him for the rest of the night or the rest of your life.

Unbeknownst to you, Qimir never left the room even as the night progressed. He stayed in prison even as he slept. At a floor below, as you charged, you played footage of the encounter just once for deep learning but then over and over again. You watched every angle and projected all that you could even as the sun rose. Even when you sensed Qimir’s stares in your off-state, you never woke up.

It was during the evening when you finally reencountered him. You stayed on the platform in shame until he came up and through the doors. His first appearance back and he looked as mundane as ever. It unsettled your common sense. There were no clear signs of anger or disappointment. The only difference was the darkness in the skin under his eyes but you weren’t going to comment on it.

“Honey, I’m home,” he joked as he threw his things aside. With clear confusion in the processing face you made, he gave your cheek a brief pat after his approach and left you to sort it all out on your own.

You watched him pretend to play house as he moved about the house getting tasks down. Through it all, you never joined in. You remained seated for instruction which made you harbor the feeling of tension all alone. So you escaped once more like the coward who made you and went into sleep mode.

Three hours had passed when you returned and he was on the balcony alone with an empty flask that barely gave warmth since he held down his alcohol too well. His back was to you so he didn’t see you come to consciousness, but as he taught you, you took the window of opportunity in his vulnerability to take another step into the light.

You snake behind him “Qimir?”

He turns his hand in acknowledgment. “You’re awake,” he says with a bit of a grin.

“I was updating,” you lied

“What did you do today?” he simply put.

You couldn’t read him when he was like this. There was a chance that he was baiting you but you were steadfast on asking the questions that were driving you insane. You were set on making yesterday as painful for him as it was for you. At least that’s how you saw it. You intended to go down kicking and screaming until you were reduced to bits of metal if it resulted in helping your distaste for the unknown.

“Qimir,” you called once more.

“Hm?”

“Can I,” you pause. “What did I see yesterday?”

He couldn’t be bothered to pretend to answer your question as he went silent and walked back inside.

“Qimir–” Hot on his tail you echoed but he turned to shoot you down in an instant.

“Think carefully about what you’re going to ask me.” He cautioned.

The way his eyes were closed to imprisoning you made you take his advice on the first call. There was no need to ask about the obvious.

During your state of charging you had put pieces together. With the way the body looked upstairs and the need for a nitrogen chamber, it was obvious that he wasn’t preserving a clone. He was preserving the living. And if the scattered pages and the scribbled writing weren’t enough evidence, the theories on reanimation were all you needed to know that you and the alien were the same person. There was no separation or duplication. Your mind was being projected into your android body in real-time.

“Why am I not in my body anymore?” You questioned.

He wasn’t shocked that you figured it out but irritated that you had no wish to leave well enough alone. He swallowed.

“I’m in there but with you at the same time. What’s the point?”

Qimir started to feel like he couldn’t breathe. Your inquirie was peeling off the lid that he had done a shawty job at sealing shut. “[Name],”

“I tried going through my memory files but can’t find a thing since I woke up so I’m asking you," you insisted. "I promise to not ask for anything else! Tell me or let me see what happened.” If you were still you but in a different container, why couldn’t you remember anything? It was clear that your creator would have more than just answers.

“It’s going to clog your data,” he haphazardly explains hoping that throwing a piece out would leave you something to chew on to bide his time.

“I have more than enough storage,” you fired back at his lie.

“You wouldn't handle it well” he told you as he already heard start speaking.

“Yes, I wou –” He called for you to stop and you kept going until you both were speaking over each other.

“Just give me access to my memories!” You pleaded as you locked into his arm praying. “That’s all I ask for,”

“So you can know what it feels like to drown?” He spat.

You ate up your words and went silent.

“Because that," he got closer "that is what you’re asking me to give you,” he snarled. You gawked at the challenge in his eyes that begged you to give him permission to really put you in your place.

“I’ll shut you down for years before I ever give back to you,” he declared. His voice rang with conviction that stoked an idea that shot through your mind faster than your better judgment could. That’s when you went running.

It was one of the most mindless decisions you had ever made but you were getting used to your firsts being a result of last-minute miscalculations and high-spinning emotions.

You could hear Qimir shouting for you as you started for the stairs. If you could just get to the panel near the chamber, lock yourself in the room, and override whatever was in control, you’d get your questions answered.

It was a ludicrous dream because you hadn’t even made it to the fourth step of your stairway to heaven before you were dragged right back down to reality. You felt a force pull you back.

You were tossed onto the ground and saw yourself captured under Qimir. Your legs flailed and your arms went every which way but it was immensely humbling when you saw how little Qimir had changed his position. He only needed to keep a hand around your throat to lock you in your misery as he thought of what to do next. He looked upset but still not yet angry.

“I won’t let go until you stop,” he said as the hold around your neck tightened. You didn’t need the air to breathe but you could feel the discomfort nonetheless. From your perspective, he seemed entirely uncompromising as he virtually waited for your cue to arrange where the rest of the night would go. You knew better than to think you’d get out of this on top. Qimir was much too skilled and much too disciplined to go down without a fight, a fight that he was sure to win. So you conceded.

Your movements died down and your energy waned. Two cold bodies in a quiet room stood still waiting for their next cue. Qimir's faint voice cracked the frozen air first.

“You’re feeling antsy,” he lulled as he took his hand off your neck to stroke your hair. “It’s a shame.” His voice was expelled with such condescension while you were so busy trying to decipher his current feelings. Conceivably, you even considered truly raising the white flag. After all, who were you to question your maker when he could put you down by the end of a heartbeat?

You were ready to give another apology—a real one this time, so you never saw it coming when he directly placed his hands into your pants.

“Your frustration is understandable,” he told you as he immediately placed a finger in your hole with no preparation. Your gentle hands clasped his shoulders on instinct as you moaned.

How could you have known that you missed him inside you? With how feral Qimir was, he held so much restraint that you were pooling at the initiation of first contact in days. His fingers pushed and pulled against your tight cunt with no rhythm.

“But it’s not an excuse,” he criticized. You had already forgotten what he said prior. “So I’ll teach you obedience through pain today.”

You had no proper picture of what he meant when he made that proclamation but there was no space for you to ask All you could do was thoughtlessly take in his two fingers in hopes that he would go faster. His choice of distraction was brilliant. As he increased his and watched you try to bounce on his fingers, he began seeing the signs. The bucking hips, the loud whines, the hard nipples poking through your shirt, and your eyes gradually going over.

“[Name], hold it,” he said. That was an order. It was order he was daring you to try and override.

Your eyes went white and you stopped grinding against him as you held onto your release. “No,” you purred in frustration at the feeling. He hadn’t stopped stretching his fingers and grazing your walls. He curled without remorse and you were forced to hold your climax with no complaint. “Qimir,” you called once more.

“Sh,” he nipped your whining immediately. “No talking.”

Your folds got wetter and he only got faster as you held your breath the hotter you got. You were swelling with no sign of relief until the fingering eventually stopped. It wasn’t at all a sweet release but rather a further push into punishment.

Qimir took out his fingers and gave them a lick to clean up just before he went tossing you onto the couch. You weren’t privy to any of his plans as he just carried on with you left to play catch up. He took off your clothes with haste and as he peeled the layered you shivered each time his hands would graze your skin. You were desperate and distracted and it was shameful. Your streak of rebellion meant nothing when you were lapping in his hands at the first thought of him penetrating you.

Your body was moving at his every whim as he pulled you to straddle him. Qimir pulled out his growing cock and aligned it with your entrance as he pull you to him. While swallowing a grunt, he watched his pulsing shaft disappear into your puckering hole in satisfaction. “[Name], bounce and start counting,” he said.

There was no doubt that you were drooling once his balls hit your ass but your system had you moving before you could even savor the moment. You gripped him as you rose high enough for his tip to almost leave you cunt, then you slammed back down.

“One,” you recited. You elevated yourself again and then sank into his member. “Two.”

It felt like you were choking as you bounced on him and recited your punishment. The way his cock tore you open didn’t come with the euphoria that it once did when he and you were in sync. Instead, you were left to ride out your arousal alone as every time you watched him, he looked to be indifferent and not even present.

“Qimir, please, I’m sorry,” you said through sporadic hiccups.

“[Name], no talking,” he secured the demand “Don’t tell me you lost count,”

You frantically shook your head as you pushed out the number twenty-six. You were sensitive and Qimir certainly knew that about you. By now, you would have been creaming all over him as you gasped in his neck but you were still registering the previous order to hold your climax.

When he ordered you to go faster, you did. When he demanded you slow down your pace, you followed. He put you entirely in control of your edging knowing you couldn't do anything but fill the entire home with your pathetic moans.

“[Name], stop,” was the last thing you heard before you felt your strings cut as you went limp on him. You wanted to stay there cock warming him until you didn’t feel dizzy anymore but he already had you over his knee in a new position.

You felt like you were dangling over the edge of his lap as he parted your lips to expose the bud in between your folds.

“Give me a number,” was all Qimir said. He didn’t explain further to use your inexperience against you.

“Twenty-seven,” you blurted out and it would have made him laugh if he wasn’t holding in his anger. It was the number of days it has been since your creation. He could tell you liked to keep track of the days since it was the one set of numbers that were always baked into coding whenever he would give your software a check.

He placed two fingers in your pussy to anchor you. “Don’t act cute,” he warned you as he dulled his first slap to your ass. You gasped as you started to pull away but Qimir held you down with so little effort. “Careful,” he threatened. He struck you again while keeping two fingers for you to clench around.

“Let this be a learning experience,” he chastised you as he had spanked your tender skin with a loud snap.

He spanks with you counting each time until you’re truly crying under him. “You can handle it,” he continues almost knowing what was going through your thoughts. When he strikes you again, you bite your lip down as you stomach your punishment. For no reason clear to yourself, you wanted to prove you could handle it even when you weren’t showing it well.

So for every impact, Qimir’s rough hands had on your ass cheek, your grip on the fabric of the couch only got tighter until your nails burst through the seams.

“[Name], eyes open.” He sounded so emotionless.

Your skin got hotter as your cunt got warmer. You never stopped clenching around his fingers until the very end when he delivered the final blow. A climax never came, however, for either of you. There was just gasping on your end and wetness spilling from out of your hole and onto his fingers.

Your already aching ass landed on the floor once Qimir had started rising off of the couch. At that point, you had wished the Qimir left you as you were before. You missed when you didn’t feel things like shame, desperation, and pain. As he stood over you, you could have matched his indifference but you cared too much now.

“[Name], come here,” he said.

You shook your head fervently as you tried to hold off on the command.

“[Name–”

“No,” you countered. You were tired of torture. You were sick of the delay. You thought that your consequences were more than enough.

Qimir’s brows furrowed. The first of the cracks in his mirror.

“P-Please,” you felt a tear run down your face. “I-I’m sor-sorry,” your speech was glitching. “No, no mor-more or–orders. I, I can’t-nt ta-take i-i,” you vomit out. Your software was breaking down.

Qimir came down to you like a god as he crouched to look you over. He watched as you shrunk into yourself like a caged animal. It was time to power you down.

Your self-defense protocols saw him reach for the back of your neck. It was fast enough for Qimir’s fingers to make it to the ring behind your neck but you still managed to grip his arm beg with all that was left in your. Tears were running out of your eyes fast enough to empty your water system if he let it happen too long.

“Ple–Do-don’t shut shut me do-down,” he watched his still face in the glass of your eyes. “Qim-mir!” He pressed four consecutive times and you dropped.

As Qimir finished unscrewing your breast panel, he lifted the metal and set it aside. Just as he thought, your battery had expanded from the heat of your constant overstimulation. He gripped a set of tweezers and broke the circuit that was at the heart of your function. The piece was tossed aside and hit the nearby table with a clack.

The idea of creation sounded appealing in its inception. If he just got it right he could govern his own fate without any interference. Yet, he made a full circle back where he started and he had to choose to break the cycle before he worsened his insanity.

He ran his hand across his face as he sat still near the platform almost waiting for you to spring back to life. The sound of your glitched begs bounced off every wall in his head as he repeatedly shot back apologies under his breath. Once he had properly disposed of the old battery, he sat back in his chair to inspect his possibilities as he toyed with the new battery in between his fingers.

leave a comment, send an ask, or reblog. I might write a whole fic because of it or maybe send a meme, but I always respond.

#qimir smut #qimir x reader #qimir x y/n #the stranger x reader #the acolyte #star wars fanfiction #manny jacinto x reader

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meowkusunoki · 4 months ago

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imo any discussion of "the correct verdict for [character] was [forgiven/unforgiven]" is misguided because there is no correct verdict. milgram is an inherently abusive system, which means that even if the ones acting in it (the audience/es) have good intentions, no actual improvement will come of it. it is literally make it worse or make it worser.

in every trial so far, the main justification for an unforgiven verdict was "let's not enable their bad behavior" (i am counting denying you did anything wrong at all as a bad behavior), which is fair. we do want these characters to get better. but the consequences are mental and now physical torture, which i don't think i even have to say will not bring about self improvement, at least not at no cost. i mean, sure, fuuta and mahiru were realizing the error of their ways, but one was under so much stress that he fell victim to religious delusions, and the other is straight up dead.

the character i see the most discussion about this is amane, and it's usually "we have to show her that she/what she did/her religion is wrong" which, again, is fair. she needs to realize it's wrong before she can escape and start to heal. but do we really think an unforgiven verdict would help with that? i mean, it sure didn't the first time, i can't imagine that torturing this kid harder would make our lives any more awesome /ref

and for the forgiven characters as well. haruka and muu became worse in trial 2, yes, but how much better would they have been if they had been unforgiven? yuno and kazui are upset at their forgiven verdicts because they don't think they deserve them, but how much more upset would they have been if they were actively tormented by unforgiven verdicts?

milgram itself is named after the milgram experiment, where it was tested how far people would go in hurting someone else if it was to follow instructions. by voting, we are hurting someone else under jackalope's instructions, regardless of what our vote is, or what our intentions are. that's been hinted from the very beginning, and it only becomes more apparent with each trial.

#milgram #my post #amane discourse #< a little

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aeth-eris · 8 months ago

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astrology masterlist 2023 - 2024

general astrology study guide exploring astrology for self care

astro observations composite , composite #2 , composite #3

ascendant & houses: rising signs : animalistic features leo in houses: what makes you proud? 11th house: social media profiles 3rd house: texting , 3rd house: writing astrology jukebox observations

moon ghosted vs. ghostee

synastry: ascendant in partner's houses moon square moon synastry venus signs heartbreaker vs. heartbroken 12th house overlay , 11th house overlay , 10th house overlay , 9th house overlay , 8th house overlay , 7th house overlay , 6th house overlay , 5th house overlay , 4th house overlay , 3rd house overlay , 2nd house overlay , 1st house overlay , synastry house overlays overview synastry placements as love tropes synastry observations synastry observations aspects in synastry

venus venus signs aesthetics venus signs & pet names venus placements + love language

solar return can mars rx in your solar return chart affect your energy levels? 4th house in solar return "how do i find my solar return chart?" 11th house friendships , 6th house health , 7th house partnerships , 2nd house finances retrogrades in solar return charts pluto house placements , neptune house placements , uranus house placements , saturn house placements , jupiter house placements , venus house placements , mars house placements , mercury house placements , moon house placements , sun house placements

planets maturity vs immaturity series saturn , venus , mercury , moon , mars

fun: mars signs when reacting to bad food during a dinner date mr darcy = cap rising take mercury signs as computer error messages , mercury signs & book recs 5th house & video games zodiac signs as classic literature philosophers & astrology

moodboards: libra mars conjunct midheaven , saturn taurus 5th rx , sagittarius mercury 12th , scorpio moon 11th , aquarius venus 2nd

rambles "Uranus in the 2nd/Aquarius in the 2nd/Venus conjunct Uranus/Saturn in Taurus/Uranus in Taurus" "TW : drug use, addiction, abuse, etc. basically a ramble of 12th house/square neptune energy."

asks that I answered : "Hey bro , do you know about northnode and uranus in pices 7st house" "I just wanted to know when looking at your solar return chart, would you recommend the placidus or the whole sign system." "would you consider making a long detailed post about taurus placements observations , please?😍" "Vertex 19° Piscis in the 7th house conjunct Attila 23° Agrippina 20° and Excalibur 16 and Fan 18° all in Pisces in the 7th house" "I would like to ask about how to deal with my aquarius neptune in 6th house." "hello ��🏻 beautiful soul 🌸 would you consider making a post about Taurus in houses , please? ;)" "Hi! About career and public image, what would having Jupiter, MC and POF in Leo 10H mean?" "Hii whats the order to read a solar retun chart? Should i read the chart on its own or where those placements fall in my natal chart?" "what could all those planets in the 5h indicate?" "Hii! Can I have your opinion on north node in gemini and cancer in 9th house?"

transit full hunter moon in taurus lunar eclipse 10/28/23 venus trine/sextile transits , venus square transits , venus conjunct transits

daily routine 6th house series pisces , aquarius , capricorn , sagittarius , scorpio , libra , virgo , leo , cancer , gemini , taurus , aries

personal my chart as gifs

#astrology #astrology observations #astrology aspects #astro observations #human design #masterlist

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mariacallous · 3 months ago

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Elon Musk’s so-called Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) has spent the first six weeks of the new Trump administration turning the federal government upside down. It has moved from agency to agency, accessing sensitive data and payment systems, all on a supposed crusade to audit the government and stop fraud, waste, and abuse. DOGE has posted some of its “findings” on its website, many of which have been revealed to be errors.

But two federal auditors with years of experience, who have both worked on financial and technical audits for the government, say that DOGE’s actions are the furthest thing from what an actual audit looks like. Both asked to speak on the condition of anonymity because they weren’t permitted to speak to the press.

“Honestly, comparing real auditing to what DOGE is doing, there’s no comparison,” says one of the auditors who spoke to WIRED. “None of them are auditors.”

In September, in a speech during the presidential campaign, then candidate Donald Trump said that he would create a government efficiency task force, headed by Musk, which would do a “complete financial and performance audit of the entire federal government.” Musk initially said that he wanted to cut $2 trillion from the federal budget, more than the entire 2023 discretionary budget of $1.7 trillion. Musk has since tempered his ambitions, saying he’d aim to cut $1 trillion in government spending. Still, he has alleged that much of this money can be cut by identifying waste, fraud, and abuse, and has continued to claim DOGE’s cuts of agency staff and resources are all part of an audit.

While there are certainly instances of government money siphoned off to fraud—a Government Accountability Office study published in 2024 estimated that the government loses between $233 billion and $521 billion to fraud each year—even recovering all that spending wouldn’t amount to the $1 trillion Musk hopes to cut from the budget.

The auditors who spoke to WIRED allege that not only is Musk’s claim not true, but also that DOGE appears to have completely eschewed the existing processes for actually rooting out waste, fraud, and abuse.

“An audit that follows Generally Accepted Government Auditing Standards (GAGAS), also known as a Yellow Book audit, is conducted in accordance with the standards issued by the US Government Accountability Office,” says the first auditor. Audits can focus on the finances, compliance, or performance of an agency. “That is the gold standard for how you audit the government.”

There are generally five phases of a GAGAS audit, the auditors tell WIRED: planning, evidence gathering, evaluation, reporting, and follow up. Auditors work to define the scope of an audit, identify all the applicable laws and standards, and come up with an audit plan. Next, auditors conduct interviews with staff, review financial records, and comb through data, reports, and transactions, documenting all the way. From there, auditors will assess that information against policies or procedures to figure out if there’s been some kind of alleged waste, fraud, or abuse and issue a report detailing their findings and offering recommendations. Often, those reports are made available to the public. After an audit, the auditors can follow up with the agency to ensure changes are being made.

There are also very technical definitions for what constitutes waste, fraud, or abuse. Waste could mean that there are inefficiencies in a program that might lead to purchasing more of something that goes unused, or paying more for a service than is necessary. Fraud involves intentional deception—for instance, bribery or falsifying business records. Abuse means doing things that aren’t necessarily illegal, but that are unethical. This could look like nepotism or favoritism in hiring, or spending excessively on travel.

In a recent interview with podcaster Joe Rogan, Musk said he believed that the government was “one big pyramid scheme” and alleged that “entitlements fraud” is a “gigantic magnetic force to pull people in from all around the world and keep them here.”

The two auditors told WIRED that going through the technological and financial minutiae of even just a single project or part of an agency can take anywhere from six to 18 months.

“You can’t coherently audit something like the whole Social Security system in a week or two,” says the second auditor. It’s exactly this rush to crack systems open without full understanding, the auditors say, that has led to Elon Musk’s false claims that 150-year-olds were receiving Social Security benefits. “It could be that DOGE didn’t de-dupe the data.”

“In no uncertain terms is this an audit,” claims the second auditor. “It’s a heist, stealing a vast amount of government data.”

Federal workers who have spoken to WIRED say they are worried that their own data could be used to surveil and target them for firings based on their identities or political views. There are also concerns that DOGE could access contracts and procurement data that contain sensitive information that companies provide in order to work with the federal government. DOGE has also deployed an AI chatbot within the General Services Administration (GSA) and appears to want to expand the use of such tools, bolstered by access to government data. New court documents also indicate that Marko Elez, the former DOGE representative at the Treasury Department, shared a spreadsheet with personally identifying information outside the agency.

And without time spent for auditors to understand a new data system—like interviewing agency staff or learning the coding language—the first auditor believes it’s likely the DOGE team is flying blind. “When they collect a dataset, they don't get it with any sort of description, I imagine,” they say. “There are no terms of use for any government systems … There's no supporting testimony from data system owners, from data system experts. They don't even know the language and the database systems that they're working in. That’s why they keep messing up.”

The auditors described a lengthy vetting process that allowed them to get the permissions necessary to dive into an agency’s data and systems. In addition to going through the initial vetting process, the auditors say that they are required to engage in continuing education.

“None of them have any auditing background, none have any certifications, none have any clearances,” says the first auditor.

Federal workers who have spoken to WIRED expressed concern that DOGE’s operatives appear to have bypassed the normal security clearance protocols in order to access sensitive systems. WIRED found that many of DOGE’s youngest members, all of whom were 25 or younger, have very limited work experience, and none in the government. One, Edward Coristine, who goes by “Big Balls” online, appears to be a 19-year-old high school graduate. Despite this, they were given high-level access at places like the GSA, the Social Security Administration, and the Treasury. Others, like those at the Federal Aviation Administration, come directly from Musk’s own companies and were not fully vetted before their start dates.

The auditors also noted that even canceling contracts, as DOGE has done, can add to costs, rather than reduce them, in the long run. For instance, often the government negotiates deals on large purchases where it gets discounts for bulk purchases. Canceling a contract likely not only means the government needs to pay some kind of fee to compensate for the contract cancellation—maybe 10 to 15 percent of the contract amount—but if some or part of that purchase needs to be reinstated later, that initial bulk discount will likely be gone, making it more expensive overall. This was the case with many of the software licenses that DOGE said it wanted to cut.

Since sweeping through the government, DOGE has canceled thousands of government contracts, including 10,000 specifically for humanitarian aid. According to reporting from the Associated Press, 40 percent of those canceled contracts through late February will likely not save the government any money.

“They'll end up costing more in some way, whether it's time, inconvenience, or money,” says the second auditor.

But the auditors say that there are ways DOGE could get it right. “If DOGE wanted to be the good guys, they could,” says the first auditor. “I’d start by looking at existing Inspector General recommendations.” On the website for the Inspector General for the Department of Health and Human Services, for instance, there are more than 1,200 recommendations that have yet to be implemented that could potentially save the government hundreds of millions of dollars.

In an interview on FOX Business with Larry Kudlow, when asked about how his team was identifying what to go after in the government, Musk replied, “We look at the president's executive orders, and we also just follow the money.”

The auditors say they aren’t necessarily against bringing in people from outside the government to help streamline government processes—something that the government was already doing before Trump was sworn in for his second term. For instance, 18F, the digital services agency within the GSA’s Technology Transformation Services, was explicitly designed to serve as an in-house consultancy that would allow federal agencies to leverage private sector expertise. As part of DOGE’s sweep of the government, however, it has gutted the group, putting a pause on several ongoing projects to make government services more efficient for users.

And it’s these actions, the second auditor says, that best show that DOGE’s intentions may not be geared toward “efficiency” at all. “It’s a con,” they allege.

The White House did not immediately respond to a request for comment.

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ash-says · 1 year ago

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Tips for Dysfunctional Family Girlies Part 2:

1) Get your basics straight. Education. Boundaries. Financial independence. Further breaking it down and linking it if you get proper education at some point you are bound to get an awareness of this world, if you are able to adapt and improvise yourself and develop your emotional intelligence and get your boundaries straight you will save yourself a lot of unnecessary drama and problems. Education (formal and informal) both will help you in gaining opportunities and if you are financially independent, you are holding the power to make your own decisions.

2) Develop thick skin. Your mom is calling you names. Slut, whore and what not. Your dad doesn't trust you and abuses you physically. So, what now? Are you going to let them define what you are or internalize the anger and use it as a fuel to become successful? Choice is yours.

3) They say you don't owe an explanation to anyone. Sorry to burst your little bubble. Actually you do. We live in a society and have relationships that we need to maintain for survival. This hyper independent stuff is only good to read. We have responsibilities that we need to fulfill. If you don't owe an explanation to anyone then don't cry about a closure from someone too. If you can live by this go ahead and practice it.

4) Stop isolating yourself. That's it. That's the point.

5) First kill the fear inside you. Being a rebel outside the house is no good. Be disciplined. Know how to manipulate your family members in your favor and if you can't just find the weak points and threaten. I know it's difficult to implement but you learn through trial and error. Plus something is better than nothing.

6) Stop glorifying people who treat you with kindness and love. That's the bare minimum. Just because you didn't get it served in a silver spoon doesn't mean it is not served in a silver spoon. People can have ulterior motives and even if they don't fix it in your brain that's normal. No rose colored glasses allowed.

7) Don't be afraid of indulging in your sexuality. No I am not saying go and have sex with people. I mean it in a deeper sense. Connect with the repressed sexual side and try to find healthy outlets. Don't dim yourself to fit in others'expectations or to ease someone's insecurity. Be unapologetic about your wants and desires. Know yourself. It's a powerful energy source if you know how to use it positively.

8) Cry, cry and cry. Wail like a child. No need to keep it all in. No need to act like a macho woman BUT only in front of your god or your belief system. Max in front of your truly trusted people.

9) Question everything as easily as breathing. Doubt every thing. Every action. Every person. What proof do you have to not doubt ? Stop giving benefit of doubts. Stop looking for excuses on how they could be good and instead look for ways in which they can harm you. That's your lottery to be poised and composed. It's just what it is.

10) Obsession. We have it in loads. That's natural to us. So the trick here is to be obsessive. Hella obsessive but about things, topics, goals, subjects, inanimate things,etc. God forbid but never be obsessive about a person. Not even over your dead body. Why? For that I need to make another detailed post I think.

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sunderwight · 1 year ago

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SV Malevolent AU where, due to a system error (Shen Jiu not actually dying from the qi deviation? Mu Qingfang being present and resuscitating him in time maybe?) Shen Yuan ends up only half-possessing SJ by gaining control of his eyes.

SJ, of course, fully believes that he's been possessed by a demon and wants to evict the creature in question as soon as possible. However, he's still a paranoid bastard before anything else, so his first attempt is to just quietly do it himself after chasing Yue Qingyuan and anyone else away from his house. He doesn't want either a reputation for being weak and susceptible to possession, or one for having ties to demonic influence. There's enough grime on his reputation and the ONE thing he has confidently never been at risk of adding to it was consorting with demons, and he'd like to keep it that way.

Except, of course, Shen Yuan's not a demonic spirit, so none of the efforts to "evict" him actually work. Much to Shen Yuan's relief. A blind cultivator is still plenty formidable, but after a few days of deadlock over the issue, and with Shen Yuan fully in control of Shen Jiu's eyesight but otherwise unable to do much, Shen Yuan negotiates with the system (which SJ cannot perceive at all) to be able to tell Shen Jiu some things. Enough to get him to do something other than crack and run out of his house to let the other peak lords try their hands at ousting SY.

He tells Shen Jiu that he's not a demon (not for the first time, not that SJ believed him) but that he IS a spirit from another realm, and that he got turned around somehow on his way to try and warn this world about an impending catastrophe. SJ is naturally still suspicious, but after SY provides him with enough tidbits of information to verify that he's not completely lying, he decides to at least entertain the idea that SY isn't a demon and that a more nuanced approach is called for (also this route is appealing for him because it means he can still avoid telling anyone else that there's anything wrong with him).

Thus, uneasily, the two Shens reach a truce. Shen Yuan offers to help SJ navigate the world by describing things to him (within the privacy of their now-shared mind, of course), and SJ just sort of gives up on destroying him. For now.

Shen Yuan also, of course, tries to stop SJ from abusing Luo Binghe. Both because he would do that regardless, but also because he's now co-piloting SJ's body, which means he has a vested interest in making sure it retains all of its limbs. This has varying degrees of success.

But mainly I think this would be hilarious because Shen Jiu would essentially be held hostage to Shen Yuan's descriptions of things. Flowery, detailed and fascinated descriptions of monsters (at least these are useful because SY also has encyclopedic knowledge of their weak points). Largely vibes-based descriptions of scenery and women. Glowing assessments of Luo Binghe. Constantly bringing up Liu Qingge's beauty. Shen Jiu doesn't need his own shidi described! He knows what the asshole looks like! Go possess his body instead if you like it so much! (SJ was maybe kind of hoping that would happen when the spirit did something during the debacle in Lingxi Caves -- but no, SY just saved Liu Qingge's life, like some kind of not-evil creature. Infuriating!)

#svsss #scum villain's self saving system #scum villain #shen qingqiu #shen jiu #shen yuan

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liver-f4ilure · 11 months ago

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The Charleston Church Shooting: Dylann Roof

*NOTE! This is a repost! And it will look familiar CAUSE IVE POSTED IT ON ANOTHER ACCOUNT!! Is it the best? No.*

—

Early life/ Prior convictions

Dylann was born April 3rd 1994 to mother Amelia and father Franklin with 2 sisters Amber and Morgan. During early childhood his parents would divorce and his father would later remarry. His stepmother accused his father of abuse. He would beg his step mother to let him live with her but she wasn’t able to. Dylann would be described to have obsessive compulsive tendencies with germs. In middle school he would stop caring about school and started smoking weed and drinking vodka. In nine years he would have attended seven schools. In 2010 he would drop out of Highschool and continue playing video games and smoking weed and drinking.

(The Roofs home)

In 2015 he was caught with an invalid prescription for suboxone at a mall to which he was banned from for a year. Later that year he was caught loitering in the mall to which they searched his car finding a forearm grip for a AR-15 semiautomatic rifle and six unloaded magazines capable of holding 40 rounds each but was let off it was legal in the state. Roofs Suboxone charge was mishandled and a system error took it as a misdemeanour instead of a felony. Which would have possibly prohibited him from purchasing the firearm.

(The flag of Rhodesia)

Later Dylann would look into the Trayvon Martin case and from an unknown article concluded Zimmerman was in the right. He then fell down a rabbit hole of black on white crime and misinformation. He then found 4chan and would find even more misinformation and hard right ideologies Dylann states he hasn’t been the same since that day. Which leads to his manifesto titled ‘The last Rhodesian’ Rhodesia being the African state founded in 1965 ran by primary Europeans and a white supremacy ideology before being abolished in 1979. The term now sticks with white supremac!sts like Dylann had became, as he also used the flag on his jacket. In preparation before the attack he looked up black churches and found the Emanuel Methodist Episcopal Church and would scout the area and ask around about mass times.

The shooting

(The Emanuel Methodist Episcopal Church)

June 15th 2015 somewhere around 8:00pm Dylann entered the church, once he did he was greeted by Rev.Pinckney and given a bible to study with. Roof was sat next to Pinckney as the study continued. As the study closed and the ending pray started Roof stood up and pulled out his Glock 41 .45 calibre handgun and began shooting. Killing Pinckney first. Then 26 year old Tywanza Sanders stood up to plead with Dylann before he said ‘I have to do it. You rape our women and you’re taking over our country and you have to go’ he then shot and k!lled Sharonda Singleton, Dr. Daniel L. Simmons, Ethel Lee Lance, Cynthia Hurd, Myra Tompson and Tywanza Sanders. Dylann would reload 5 times that day. Polly Shepherd was spared when he asked her if he shot her yet to which she replied no he then told her ‘good cause we need someone to survive because I’m gonna shoot myself and you’ll be the only survivor. He then turned the gun on himself realizing he was out of ammo. He then left the church to the surprise there wasn’t anyone outside. The next day the police confirmed the gunman was 21 year old Dylann Roof with witnesses reporting they saw him drive towards Shelby, a town close to Charleston. At 10:44am Roof was arrested at a traffic stop in Shelby where it was then confirmed he worked alone.

(The victims)

The Trial

Five days after the shooting the grand jury announced that Roof was being indicted for 33 federal charges.

12 counts hate crime against black people

12 counts obstructing the exercise of religion

9 counts murder using a firearm.

On June 6th Roof reportedly did not want to be trialed by jury and instead let the judge decide if he was guilty and if the death penalty was reasonable. August 23rd Roofs lawyers called the motion of death penalty unconstitutional and asked to reject the motion. On September 1st an on camera hearing was held in case of outbursts. December 7th 2016 the trial started. During a survivor statement Roofs mom collapsed as she had a heart attack. After 3 days of the trial FBI played a video on which he admitted to laughing and drinking while describing to friends how he’d shoot the church. To which his friend didn’t report to police and said he was drunk and took his keys and Glock that was on him. After 2 hours the jury found him guilty on all 33 charges. Roof wanting to plead guilty but told not to by lawyers.

(Roof at his video hearing)

January 10th 2017 Roof was sentenced to the death penalty,death by lethal injection.

#tc community #tcc columbine #tccblr #true cringe community #tcc tumblr #dylannstormroof #info post #informative #information #eric columbine #dylan columbine #eric and dylan

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kolesodd · 1 year ago

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𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐀𝐃 𝐋𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐃 𝐁𝐎𝐘

Part two

Genre: angst

Setting: early 2000s ,, L.A.

Warnings: mentions of alcohol and drug addiction. Sex addiction. lots and lots of cursing. he cheats. (the horror) slight mentions of suicide. slight grammar errors im writing this at 3 am.

Summary: Jungkook was always one to have his anger get the best of him...that was only because of the amount of drugs and alcohol he abuses in his daily life. When you first met him, you knew he had personal problems but he never discussed those things with you. One night after a show, you wanted to talk about his habits and something snapped in him. You don't know if you're able to even look at him again.

Rockstar!Jungkook - he sings and plays guitar.

Jungkook had some problems...mentally. And you knew it, and so did his band mates. You were the type to try and ignore it and see the good in him for the most part. Certain times, Jungkook was definitely a good boyfriend to you. He would buy you expensive bouquets, new clothes, and even jewlery; but that was all during a time where he was sober. You don't know what happened to make him relapsed and you honestly tried to retrace your steps.

It gotten so hard on you, to the point Jaehyun, his bandmate that plays drums, had to remind you countless times that none of this wasn't your fault. You couldn't help but still have it on your mind though.

Kook distanced himself from you and he rarely ever calls you. You tried to call him but you would always hear that he was either unavailable or worse, just a dead line- no one would even pick up. Overthinking with such a guy like him was inevitable. You didn't know what he was doing because you couldn't even get a hold of him. You tried your best to let him be an adult and let him just comeback on his own; but that never worked out in the end.

So you decided to take matters into your own hands. Jaehyun contacted you that they would be during their last show of their tour in downtown L.A. at the metal club. You we're excited but very disappointed in how Jungkook didn't tell you but someone else did. You shrugged it off and made your way towards the club.

The show went on as planned and they performed- in a sense good. The other members were flawless with their instruments but you noticed that Kook wasn't doing so well. It was unusual for him to even slip up a riff. You sighed already could tell he had some alcohol in his system. It was even obvious in his singing. You looked over at the bassist and the other guitar player-Yugyeom and Eunwoo. The two seemed to take notice of Jungkooks performance and how it can affect the rest of the members and song all together.

Luckily, the show went on and managed to have the crowd cheering and screaming. You went backstage and waited for them to come out. Each member greeted you with a warm smile and Jaehyun stopped for a moment.

"You noticed?"

"Yeah...he's drunk. He was already in a shit mood ever since this morning. When he sees you, hopefully that sour attitude changes."

Jaehyun said before shaking his head. "If he does anything to you..let me know. Ok?" You nodded at his request and that nearly had your hair on your arms sticking up. At last Jungkook came off stage already having a beer bottle in his hand. He saw you and just rolled his eyes which you was taken aback by that action of his. "What are you doing here (name)?" He said nonchalantly, as if he didn't wanted you there in the first place.

"Jaehyun was nice enough to tell me you were doing your last tour stop here. Ughh Kook, you fucking reek of alcohol-"

Jungkook just chuckled and took a swig of his beer. "And this? can we talk about how you just relapsed out of nowhere and how you never return my calls? You've been so distant with me lately." You snapped at him as you watched him, carelessly drink his drink. "I've been busy-"

"Drinking and doing coke isn't being 'busy' you need serious help Jungkook and your band mates is slowly getting sick and tired of your behavior and so am I!"

"I don't fucking care what they think. I'm living my best fucking life as much as possible trying to keep myself fucking happy in this world!"

"So doing this is your solution?!"

"Yeah. Drugs, beer, a good fuck with a girl who isn't bugging me 24/7 trying to get in contact with me"

That was it. You froze for a moment and all the color on your face has drained as your heart sunk. Jungkook still didn't realize what he said. You watched him throw away the bottle, taking out a cigarette and lighting it with his lighter afterwards. You didn't have the energy to even comment on it but you were more worried about his wellbeing.

"Why? just....just why are you trying to kill yourself like this?" You said trying to not choke up on your words.

"Im tired. I kinda do wanna sleep." Kook replied, exhaling the nicotine. "also I wanna get away from you. i'm sick of you..."

im sick of you

You couldn't help but repeat those harsh words over and over. You couldn't tell if the alcohol or drugs were talking or Jungkook himself. He still had no reaction to what he said but you was already too weak to even argue with him. You felt tears roll down your cheeks and heard a sigh coming from him. "Look, I gotta go. I can't be here while you're crying like this-"

He walked passed you so carefree. He didn't even bother to look back as he walked down the hallway. After that, you knew it'll be the last time you talked with him. You felt like he didn't need you so why should you continue to care.

You left the club alone without your boyfriend that you once cherished and cared about.

Extra: 6 months later. Jungkook was in rehab in a therapy session. Told in Kooks pov.

I was in my therapy session and I told my therapist about my problems I had with the things I do. I've been told things that I regret saying to my girlfriend. I was just too upset with everyone and high off my fucking mind to the point she stopped all contact.

I wanted to go back to my habits again but that would only cause me more unwanted trauma. I was still in denial after what Jaehyun told me. I seriously don't remember anything from that night...and it pisses me off.

After receiving the news I've gotten from my brother, my whole world crashed and I wanted a way to get out of here. I couldn't bare just being here I was mentally and physically exhausted with my life. Nothing was making me happy and touring definitely didn't help. I grew an unhealthy addiction with sex. I had sex with many woman not caring in the slightest I was taken. Not caring I had someone worried about me back at home.

I really loved (name)...I really did. In the beginning; I tried my absolute hardest to stay away from the dark. She was my light.

"It seems you wasn't ready..."

"I wasn't. I wish I could go back in time and changed everything."

a/n : Yay or nah? Lowkey was in my feelings but i wanted to write angst.

dividers: cr to owners

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arscorpii · 11 months ago

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little observations of episode 16 of revolutionary girl utena: cowbell of happiness

(these are just some thoughts i had. i tried to organise and articulate the ideas the best i could.)

(all dialogues are from the empty movement website)

this is a nanami-centric episode. it begins with the regular fairy-tale-like scene of utena meeting prince dios when she was younger.

this is an interesting screenshot from episode 16:

the dialogue for this scene (as in, for this specific shot):

as anyone can see, utena wasn't wearing her red socks here (she wore the red socks even when she decided to wear the girl's uniform in episode 12 [screenshots from episode 12 below, for clarity]). thus, this shot caught my eye.

another shot where utena wasn't wearing her red socks in episode 16:

the dialogue for this scene (as in, for this specific shot):

at first, i surmised that these were just animation errors because these shots lasted for only several seconds. however, upon watching and rewatching several times, the only times utena didn't wear her red socks were when she's directly confronting nanami about the cowbell. utena was the only person openly calling out nanami about it, as opposed to others who either ridiculed, ignored, or tiptoed around the matter. tsuwabuki tried saying something about the cowbell to nanami, too, but was quickly shot down by her:

generally, not wearing socks while wearing shoes can be somewhat uncomfortable, especially for long periods. it's much worse when one walks or runs while wearing shoes without socks, as this could cause skin irritations, foot blisters, etc.

when people buy certain types of shoes (or any, i think), it's common to buy shoes with a little room for toes and heels, rather than a tight, perfect fit, for comfort. when worn with a pair of socks, these shoes would usually fit perfectly. without socks, these shoes can feel loose and thus, affect gait/movements (i believe this depends on the type of shoes).

based on some readings i've done, some of the common interpretations/themes of nanami's situation in this episode (oversimplified):

exploitation and abuse of girls and women via indoctrination of patriarchal norms that simply equate them to mere livestock; raised as subservient as a calf to then be slaughtered and reduced to a piece of meat to be consumed by men.

nanami was so blinded by the love she held for her big brother that she was willing to do anything to keep that love, to maintain her bond with him. she was willing to make a fool of herself, and ignore the ridicule and concerns from others. however, deep down, she was aware of how this could all go wrong and hurt her terribly later, and all of this could very much be orchestrated by her own beloved big brother. (i hope i worded these properly)

to relate the themes of the episode to the visuals of utena not wearing socks and her dialogues: in my opinion, i think utena calling out nanami on the cowbell puts utena in a somewhat uncomfortable position (hence, wearing shoes with no socks); it's akin to challenging detrimental societal norms of a patriarchal system. notable examples that come to mind regarding detrimental societal norms are fashion and beauty standards (as in this episode). people usually don't take too kindly to the safety of their realities and status quo being challenged/questioned critically, because these are what they have been raised with, what were taught to them, and what they have been made to believe to be right and true. therefore, the person who challenges/questions these is often ignored or triggers aggressive reactions, even from the individuals who have been detrimentally affected by the status quo, in this case, nanami. "the deeper the attachment to the status quo, the greater the willful blindness." this quote by clark (2023) from his writing about challenging one's organisation's status quo felt fitting for nanami's situation (although the case with nanami definitely requires more nuances than what the quote can present).

nanami said that utena's boy uniform was very weird (dialogues above) in response to utena calling nanami's cowbell weird (2nd picture). they perceived the other's pursuit as weird because it didn't align with their ideals (an adult's fashion sense versus a noble prince). these things weren't quite the same, in a literal sense: nanami essentially wore the cowbell to appeal to the students of the academy, to be an idol of the school, to stand out, be special. meanwhile, utena wore a boy's uniform to become a prince/emulate princely ideals. however, fundamentally, both did not truly understand (at this point, at least) what these truly entailed (to be the most special girl at school versus to be a prince).

when nanami said that utena's uniform was very weird, the focus was on chu chu drinking milk from a bottle. then, at the end of the argument, chu chu was shown to have been stuck in the milk bottle, after drinking the milk. these visuals may be indicating how nanami and utena's attempts at striving towards respective impossible ideals they envisioned for themselves may be self-fulfilling at first, but will eventually have them equally trapped and hurt, you know, something like "in the end, all girls are like rose brides." (i may be wrong here)

a look at other episodes: one may say that the shots where utena didn't wear her red socks were indeed animation errors based on this shot from episode 24:

however, this shot was from the scene of episode 16 as narrated by anthy based on what was written in tsuwabuki's diary. we can see this as tsuwabuki's perspective while the previous shots as the audience's perspective (this is how i chose to see it, at least).

watching through other episodes, utena also wasn't wearing her socks when her foot was injured in episode 30, throughout episode 33, and in episode 37 when utena went on a date with akio. i pondered the correlation between utena's sans red socks moments from episode 16 and those specific events. based on episode 12, i think one can conclude that the pair of red socks was a part in which utena expressed her sense of self (because it made up her whole outfit of emulating a prince). hence, i think that nanami's situation in this episode was also a foreshadowing of utena's future, in a way (this was also illustrated with the chu chu stuck in a milk bottle imagery after drinking the milk during their argument, as above). as described earlier, utena called out nanami twice on her cowbell; on the second time, utena thoroughly explained to nanami in japanese that a cowbell is a bell that cows wear, as in the dialogues below (the following scene after these dialogues was the 5th picture; 6th picture contained the corresponding dialogues):

i think it's safe to conclude that nanami may not know what the english word "cowbell" means. this was further emphasised by utena admonishing nanami for not knowing what a cowbell is all about (see the 6th picture). everyone around her called it "cowbell" and knew what it was (what the word meant). upon explanation by utena, nanami finally came to her senses (as in, turning into a cow). relating to utena's case in later episodes, i think this could be synonymous with the fact that utena was unaware that akio was actively grooming her. several people noticed the changes in utena due to akio's grooming: juri and miki in episode 36, where juri said that utena looked more like a girl; touga asking whether utena was in love with akio in the same episode. and of course, anthy was the most aware of what akio's doing to utena throughout.

the point detailed above regarding nanami's situation in episode 16 foreshadowing utena's future can be further supported by the fact that the cowbell and the earrings akio gifted to utena were closely identical in design (interesting to note that the cowbell was purchased by anthy for her cow named nanami while the earrings were picked by touga on behalf of akio).

from my understanding, nanami turning into a cow may be equivalent to utena accepting akio's proposal to be his bride, to take kanae's place. much like a calf raised to be slaughtered for consumption (nanami's dream), akio groomed utena to be his bride. and similar to how wearing shoes without socks can be uncomfortable, utena was evidently uncomfortable in these scenes as well (the worst being episode 33). in episode 30, utena's left foot was injured. akio offered to help her, then proceeded to kiss her. akio was grooming utena to be fully dependent on him. also, since the red socks were synonymous with her self-expression, these moments (episodes 30, 33, and 37) were when her true sense of self was gradually repressed through akio's grooming. utena not wearing the red socks during the most gut-wrenchingly blatant depictions of grooming and sexual assault ⟶ how grooming and abuse can ultimately strip you of your personhood and cultivate this cycle of dependence of victims on their groomers/abusers, not being able to stand on their own feet.

after nanami turned into a cow, utena tried, and succeeded, in taking off the cowbell from nanami. i think this would be analogous to utena rejecting akio's proposal.

nanami then turned back to her human self ⟶ utena wearing back her prince outfit.

to reiterate:

critiquing the status quo may induce harsh feedback even if it's done in good faith.

nanami's situation in this episode can be seen as a foreshadowing of utena's fate in later episodes.

#i'm sorry that it's long and convoluted #please feel free to point out any wrongs/mistakes in this post #i'm honestly not confident with my writing and analysis here #i just hope this makes sense #revolutionary girl utena #shojo kakumei utena #shoujo kakumei utena #rgu #sku #utena tenjou #nanami kiryuu #anthy himemiya #mitsuru tsuwabuki #akio ohtori #touga kiryuu #analysis #the first proper draft of this took 6 hours #✮

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jellymochii · 6 months ago

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My Angel

♱ pairings: Guardian Angel!Felix x F!Reader

♱ genre: fluff, angst, smut

♱ cw: smut, cunnilingus, religious themes, mentions of abuse/foster care system.

♱ wc: 4.1k

↪author's note: Hiya! I apologize in advance for any grammatical errors or if it seems rushed, I'm still a new author so any feedback is greatly appreciated! Hope you enjoy :)

**THIS IS PURELY A WORK OF FICTION AND DOES NOT REFLECT THE TRUE NATURE OF THE PEOPLE MENTIONED**

*Abrahamic-denoting any or all of the religions (Judaism, Christianity, and Islam) that revere Abraham, the Biblical patriarch.

_______________

An angel's task was always difficult, yet fulfilling. Serving at the right hand of the Lord and doing everything possible to assist humans in gaining access into heaven. Some angels, however, we're granted one of the most difficult tasks of all– becoming a guardian to a human.

The tradition of every abrahamic* Religion states that at birth, a guardian angel is assigned to the human, overseeing the physical and spiritual protection of that individual, as well as encouraging them through various methods to turn back to God. While it can be a daunting task for many, especially the angels who were assigned reckless and bold humans, it was overall a beautiful and rewarding experience for many of the angels, watching their little humans grow and live life to their fullest.

While it was quite normal for angels to grow quite fond of their little beings, and even experience love for them, becoming in love with them was something that was forbidden entirely, as it represented otherworldly and ungodly desires and lust not suited for the pure kingdom of God. This was something, of course, that a newer guardian angel would quickly learn.

_______________

Life would always find a way to kick you down, no matter how hard you tried to crawl your way back up. Not a single day in your life was free from pain, even on the day you were born.

Growing up in foster care was less than ideal, switching from house to house on a whim, leaving any friends you may have made in that town behind as you started fresh. Some of your foster parents and towns were much more pleasant than others, but living in a cycle of rejection of adoption from everyone led you to spend 18 years of your miserable life in the care of facilities and strangers. You were never wanted, not even by your own parents.

The only people you ever considered to be your true family were a pair of twins in the same boat as you, Hyunjin and Yeji. Much like you, the two never had any luck with getting adopted and struggled a lot with trusting others after what they'd been through, and yet, they welcomed you right in every time you found your way back to the facility after another failed fostering. Once all of you had turned 18, you collectively decided to scrape together moments from part time jobs and rent out a small apartment south of the city, where you'd been residing alongside the Hwang siblings for a while now.

Since the foster facility was highly faith-based, you were always subjected to weekly preachings and visits from the local pastor. He was kind, sure– but he always said that God had a path for all of us, and that everyone would find peace eventually, and that your guardian angel is always watching over you and protecting you. Despite listening intently every Sunday, that peace and protection from the world you were promised never seemed to make its way to you. You were cursed and cast out in the eyes of the Lord, left being the second option to everyone. There was no way in your eyes someone out there could truly love someone like you. And yet, you felt that there was someone out there who desired nothing more than you. It had to exist somewhere. Maybe somewhere, love was right next to you all along.

_________________

There you found yourself that day, umbrella in hand, taking the usual 10 minute commute to your part time job. The pouring downfall certainly wasn't ideal for walking in, but you trudged through nonetheless, passing through familiar streets that were usually bustling with life at this time of day. It felt quiet, unusually quiet.

As you're about to place your headphones on, hoping to drown out the sound of pouring rain around you, a loud THUD coming from behind a coffee shop quickly grabbed your attention. Normally, you wouldn't give it a second thought. It could just be the usual raccoon rummaging through the dumpster, but something didn't feel quite right. Why did you feel so compelled to stop in your tracks and investigate? Perhaps it was a natural wave of curiosity or something compelling you to walk towards the source of the sound. As your feet dragged you towards the narrow alleyway, you felt something stronger than any rummaging dumpster critter could possibly make you feel, almost as if you were being pulled by a string of fate to peek behind the rundown bricks of the shop.

What you didn't expect to see, however, was a man with large wings rubbing his head in pain sitting on top of piled garbage bags in a dumpster.

You froze in your tracks at the sight as your mind raced. What the fuck was going on? Was your brain playing tricks on you again? Was this a lucid dream of sorts? Who is this guy?

The man’s eyes met yours, suddenly snapping out from his pained and confused state as his eyes widened as his face turned into a state of shock.

“Uhhh, Y/N, can you see me?” He said hesitantly.

Who is this guy? You thought. How does he know my name? And most importantly, how big are those fucking wings? Are they real?

“Who are you? How do you even know my name?!” You shouted, taking steps back out of fear.

“Wait...you CAN see me? Is this real?” The mysterious man questioned as he took notice of his large wings wrapped around him, now covered in dirt and torn white cloth from his attire.

Admittedly, he was extremely beautiful. Warm brown eyes, long golden hair, and sun-kissed skin lathered in a constellation of frekels. Not to mention, the once delicate white fabric wrapped around his muscular arms.

“That doesn't answer my question, who are you and what's with the giant wings?” You retorted.

He paused for a moment as if contemplating his next thought.

“Felix...yeah, I'm Felix. I'm your guardian angel, Y/N.”

“My...what?” You questioned.

He hopped down from the garbage bags he sat on and approached you slowly. Every neuron in your mind was screaming at you to run away, to call for help, but your feet kept you planted as he crept forward, his hand gently cupping your face.

“I’m from the Kingdom of Heaven, I've been with you since the moment you were born, and God... you are so beautiful.” He spoke softly as he wrapped his arms and wings around you and pulled you into a tight hug.

Your mind still couldn't wrap around the fact that a gorgeous man in a dumpster with comically large wings was hugging you like his life depended on it. You felt your nostrils flare up as a stray feather from his wing fell on top of your nose, as your face twitched.

“AH-CHOO!” You sneezed. Okay, maybe the wings were real.

He quickly pulled back from you after the sneeze. “Oh, sorry about these, let me just-” he said as he quickly retracted his wings, almost making them vanish into thin air.

“So.” You said. “If you're really my guardian angel, and you're really from heaven, then why are you here?

“It's...a long story. I made a bit of a mistake, but hey- at least I'm here with you now!” He beamed.

“So then you've seen me this whole time? Everything I've gone through, and everything I've ever done?” You questioned, as you felt your cheeks flare with anger. How could he be real, and how could he let you suffer from rejection your whole life?

“Well, not everything you've ever done, most just the major ones-”

You cut him off quickly with a slap to the face.

“How could you ever let me go through hell and back?! You know all I ever wanted was to be loved, and yet you let me suffer?” You screamed, memories of the past flooding into your head.

Felix hunched over slightly, hand cupping his cheek from the sting you gave him. He crawled away slowly, like a rejected puppy, before he spoke.

“I really...tried my best Y/N. I know you've suffered so much, and it's my fault, really. I was still a young angel in heaven when you were born, and I got assigned to you. I felt every emotion you had and tried my best to keep you safe. It was for your own good...I promise.”

This was unbelievable to you. How was all of that for your own good? The countless lonely nights, praying to God that you'd finally get a loving family, only to be shut out and left to rot in the foster home until the cycle would repeat.

“My own good? How was any of this shit for my own good?! I suffered because of you, asshole!”

His heart shattered. You were everything to him, and yet it seemed like all his dedication to you was worthless.

“I'm done with this conversation, I need to get to work.” You declared as you began to walk back to the alleyway before a voice stopped you.

“Y/N...please. You can hate me forever, but just look at this, please?” He spoke with a whimper in his voice, holding up a soggy newspaper with 2 faces plastered on the front cover.

As much as you were frustrated, you decided to indulge him for once and take a look. The headline of the local paper issued in bold letters stated “BREAKING: FOSTER PARENTS ARRESTED FOR SERIAL CHILD NEGLECT AND ABUSE.”

Once you actually saw the couple's faces, you felt the color in your face begin to fade. It was one of your foster couples. Your favorite one, in fact. The two seemed so sweet all those years ago, spoiling you with frequent gifts and homecooked meals that tasted amazing - it was the rejection that hurt the most because of how much it appeared like they loved you. Were they really monsters this whole time, and did Felix know about this?

Maybe you hadn't given him a fair chance.

“Did you know they were terrible people, Felix?” You asked, almost regretfully.

He nodded, head still tilted down in ache.

“They were evil. They wanted to hurt you, I couldn't let them.”

“What about the rest of them, then? There were... some nice ones, I suppose.” You responded.

“No...none of them were ever good enough for you. They would never give you the life you deserved.”

You felt immense remove and guilt for the poor angel, covered in dirt and in pain from your harm. You'd heard so many horror stories from the Hwangs’ about cruel foster parents in and around the town, and maybe Felix was just doing his job. Maybe he did care.

“Hey, listen-uh, Felix. I'm sorry, I didn't know they were horrible. I shouldn't have slapped you.”

His head slowly rose, warm eyes locking into yours. “It's okay, Y/N. You didn't know. But man...I guess this is what pain feels like, huh?” He spoke as a smile crept back onto his face.

“Listen-forget work, okay? How about we just get a coffee or something.” You remarked.

“Oooh sounds fun! I've always wanted to try it!” He beamed.

________________________

You learned a lot that day, to say the least. Felix told you his life story–about how he died when he was only 5 from leukemia, rising up to heaven and living amongst the paradise of heaven, until he was assigned by the elder angels to become a guardian to a human, a high honor for such a young angel as him. At the very moment you took your first breath, Felix was there with you. While still young himself, he quickly matured and aged alongside you, almost as if you were going through everything with him.

Felix began to tell you how he could sense when you were in danger with your life, and how we knew the moment your mother gave birth, you would be in harm's way with her, hence why she felt compelled to give you up to adoption.

He really did want to see you in a loving home, truly. Yet no one who welcomed you had the best intentions, he'd rather you be alone than in the house of monsters. Call it bad luck, or call it fate.

“So Felix, what grave mistake did you make to get kicked out? Did you try to murder one of my foster parents?” You asked, almost humorously as you sipped your coffee.

“Oh...just a fight with another angel, was all. Not supposed to fight in heaven, y'know?” He muttered.

He couldn't tell you the truth.

The truth that he was cast out of heaven by the elders for falling in love with you.

He's always adored everything about you as a young angel, but as the two of you grew together worlds apart, his feelings grew even more. However, his obsession didn't become out of control until recently. He loved everything about you, inside and out. He loved how you always had your nose stuffed inside a book when you weren't on the job. He loved how your sneeze was so high pitched it sounded like a mouse squeaking. He loved the way you walked, talked, and slept–to say he was a man possessed was an understatement.

Unfortunately, God was all-knowing. He could see his desire, and word quickly got around of a lust-filled angel.

That's when this morning, after a long meeting with the elders to decide his punishment, he chose to come to earth, to be with you. It didn't matter that he would grow old and feel pain, he loved you, and he would do anything to simply bask in your presence.

You decided to keep him in your life. You let him follow you around and keep you company (as long as he promised not to have his giant wings out). At night, he'd find someplace to sleep, which during the cold and wet season broke your heart, so you let him slowly become accustomed to your shared apartment, introducing him as a friend you met at work. You gave him an allowance to buy whatever clothes/shoes he wanted (to which he quickly became addicted to shopping, spending the bare minimum on clothes while splurging on stuffed animals for the two of you.)

You couldn't complain, truly. He was a ray of sunshine, and brought something new to your life.

________________

Time flew by quickly with your newfound friend by your side. While Yeji was a little unsure at first of him, Hyunjin quickly became inseparable to Felix, and frequently taught him how to play video games and cook for the house. Turns out, Felix had quite the knack for baking, specifically brownies, which tasted better than any dessert you'd ever had before. As quickly as Felix came into this world, he'd swiftly become the best thing that ever happened to you.

And yet, there was still something that was bugging you.

How could someone as perfect as Felix in every way ever possibly be cast out of heaven? He didn't have a mean bone in him, and surrounded everyone close to him with his graceful love and support.

He had to have been lying to you about the fight.

One night, while he was enjoying some soup and TV, you decided to confront him. Something wasn't right.

“Felix, can I ask you something?”

“Sure, what's up?” He said as he patted the empty spot on the couch, giving space for you to sit beside him.

You sat down and took his hand in yours. You were desperate to know the truth.

“Be honest with me, please. Why did you actually get cast out from heaven?”

He froze in his spot, face becoming pale.

“Felix...you know I won't judge you, I promise. Hell, even if you murdered someone, I'd still forgive you since you've done so much for me.”

He breathed a heavy sigh, there was no turning back now. He had to know if you loved him the way he loved you.

“Ok…I'll tell you but promise me that this won't ruin our relationship, okay?”

“Of course, pinky promise.” You said as your pinky interlocked with his.

“Well–I love you, Y/N. That's why I was kicked out.” He muttered, face heating up his freckles with a rosy pink.

“What do you mean? I'm sure you do love and care for me, but how is that wrong?”

“No, Y/N. I'm...in love with you. I have been for a long time. You're everything to me, I love every detail about you in ways I shouldn't.”

He paused, catching his breath and staring into your now widened eyes.

“Guardian Angels aren't supposed to fall in love with their humans…” He stated. “It's considered Lust, which is a sin. I'll probably never be let back into heaven unless I repent to God, and to you. Even though I’m head over heels for you, I'll never deserve you.”

Tears threatened to spill from his eyes as he let go of your pinky, standing up and turning towards the door.

“I'm sorry Y/N, I've ruined everything, but I'll leave you alone now.” He whispered as he wrapped his hand around the doorknob preparing to leave.

Only to be stopped by you, as you spun him around and smashed your lips against his.

Your soft lips and gentle cusping of his face made his heart soar back to heaven, leaving him no other choice but to pull you closer and embrace you while your kiss continued.

You pulled back first, almost reluctantly.

“I love you too, Felix. I actually have for quite-” Your speech was cut off by his lips fervorishly smacking back into yours.

A long, drawn out groan came from his lips as your kiss melted all his worries away, ever so romantic and tender, yet wanting more.

The other angels were right, he needed more, a desire like no other was consuming him, making him hungry with lust. To him, just the chance to taste you was worth more than any eternal life he could have, because who needed Heaven when his Heaven was here in front of him? The more your tongue danced with his, the more something he'd never felt until a few months ago burned in his heart. He needed to taste you, he needed to worship the ground you walked on. He could feel his length hardening every second he spent engrossed in your presence, not claiming you as his was not an option anymore, he had to.

“Baby…” He whispered into the kiss. “...Please. I'll do anything you want, I'll make you feel so so good, j-just please let me have you.”

You parted your lips from his and looked deep into his eyes, now expanded from the love and lust consuming his system.

“Then take me Felix, I'm all yours.”

That was all it took for a switch to turn on inside of him, swiftly grabbing you and carrying you bridal style to your bedroom. He laid you down gently on your back, almost as if you were a delicate sculpture, eyeballing your figure attentively.

“Can I?” He asks as he fiddles with the zipper of your jeans. You quickly nod and help him remove it from you, leaving only your delicate yet soaked panties exposed.

Felix wasted no time, as he quickly pressed the pad of his thumb to your clothed clit, rubbing circles at a torturously slow pace, causing you to whimper gently.

“Felix...please, I need more.” You whined.

“Oh, sorry love, I got a little carried away.” He giggled at himself, as he began to take off your panties, exposing him to your glistening and throbbing cunt.

It was more perfect than anything he could have ever dreamed of, and all he could ever want.

He looked up at you with pleading and glowing eyes like a puppy begging for its food, looking for any sign of approval to feast on you.

“Go ahead Felix.”

Without hesitation, his face dived into your needy pussy and began desperately licking stripes up your folds like a starved man. It was truly the sweetest nectar he had ever tasted, he needed all of it. Every last drop.

You felt almost helpless with him devouring you at this pace, a firm grip on both of your thighs as you squirm at his every touch. His tongue turns its attention to your clit, as his lips wrap around it and begin sucking it for dear life. Jolts of electricity were sent flying across your entire body as you let out a series of high pitched, whiny moans, making Felix suck even harder.

“Felix, p-please!I-Its too much!!” You cried out from overstimulation.

His lips released from your clit with a “pop” as he turned up to you. He looked disgustingly beautiful, with puffy lips dripping with your juices, and pupils dilated in an almost drunken state.

“S-so good baby, you taste so good!” Felix said desperately. “Cum for me, please? I need it so bad, you have no idea.”

Soon enough, your fingers guide his head back down and begin tugging against his hair while you drive him deeper into your cunt. Felix can’t help but rut against the bedsheets to your moans, his eyes shutting from time to time from the friction of his cock and the sound of your voice as you cry out his name whenever his tongue hits a sweet spot.

“Oh my god oh my god, Felix please! I'm gonna cum!” You cry out, earning a moan from Felix as he speeds up the already brutal pace, eating you out like it’s the greatest meal he’s ever had. His wings swiftly materialized to hold your thighs in place, allowing him space to bring your body closer to the edge.

One little peck to your clit was all it took to send you over the edge as you released the most guttural moan you'd ever cried out, your whole body trembling as your pussy released the sweet juices Felix desired so much. He wasted no time in licking every spot of your folds clean, drinking it all in as his whole body shook alongside yours.

Your breathing became erratic and heavy, trying to come down from what was possibly the greatest orgasms of your life- when you noticed Felix pulling himself up shakily from his position, taking notice to the newfound stain, and you see why. Right where he was lying down on your sheets, a puddle of warm liquid sat with some running down his leg, with underwear completely soaked. You couldn't help but giggle to yourself as you pulled him into a warm embrace, his breathing still heavy.

“I love you...so fucking much Y/N.” He spoke softly, head tucked into your shoulder.

“I love you too Felix, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me.” You replied, placing a gentle kiss on his temple, rubbing his neck and scalp gently.

Even after only a few seconds, you heard a sniffle followed by a wet feeling on your neck.

“Felix, baby...what's wrong?” You whispered, tilting his chin up so his eyes could meet yours. Tears were streaming down his face, and his lip quivered violently.

“I'm the luckiest angel in the world.” He croaked out through his soft sobs. “I'm glad I get to spend the rest of my life here with you.”

As his soft wings wrapped gently around your body, you finally realized that maybe love was around you this whole time. A sweet boy who loved you and always did his best to protect you, even if you couldn't see it at the time. You were truly grateful to God for sending him to you, and you knew your story with him was far from over. No matter what, you knew he'd always be there for you, and see the best in everybody.

“You really are my sweet angel, Felix.”

#kpop #stray kids #skz #skz x reader #lee felix #skz felix #kpop smut #skz smut #angel x reader #guardian angel

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uboat53 · 4 months ago

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Okay, we all know that Elon Musk isn't good at a lot of things, right? Video games, mechanical engineering, relationships, the list goes on and on, but one of the things he does genuinely claim to be good at, and a lot of people believe him, is programming. What if I told you he was also bad at that too and that I have proof.

So right now, Musk is claiming to be going through government records to find fraud, waste, and abuse. Obviously that's not true because he's got a team of less than a dozen people, many of them have little to no actual experience (not being old enough to have actually had any), and the experience his team does have has nothing to do with actually tracing complex finances. What experience this team does have is in programming, or at least in software, so you'd expect that they might, at the very least, be okay at that.

Yesterday, Musk claimed that he'd found massive fraud in Social Security with payments going to 150 year old people. That sounds pretty bad right? Why did he claim that? Well, in examining the Social Security databases, they found a bunch of people listed with birthdays in 1875. Proof positive!

Yeah, except not so much. If you look more closely at those records, not only is every single birthday in 1875, but every single birthday is on the same date; May 20th, 1875. That's an oddly specific cluster isn't it?

If you work in software, you know there are a bunch of standards out there, and one of those standards is called ISO-8601. According to ISO-8601 standard, if there are issues with a date, your software should return a date of May 20th, 1875 because it's a date that just about no computer system would actually use. In other words, it uses an obviously wrong date because that way you know instantly that you have a problem, and it uses a specific date because then you can easily search for that specific date and see all of your bad data at once to make it easier to fix.

If Musk and his team were actually good or even minimally competent programmers, they might not be familiar with ISO-8601 specifically (there are a metric crap-ton of ISO standards and I doubt any rational human being is familiar with more than a few of them), but they'd see a cluster of strangely specific bad data and immediately check if it was part of an error standard before doing anything else. In this case it's not just that his (likely barely of age) programmer didn't spot this, no one else on his team, including him, did either.

Musk and his team aren't going to find any actual problems in the government, they'd have to be good at accounting, finance, and a dozen other fields to do that. Instead, they're not even good at the one thing they can actually claim to have real experience in. DOGE is pretty much set up to fail.

#politics #us politics #elon musk #doge #iso standard

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amalthea-13 · 2 months ago

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Stolas as a Privileged Character

Introduction

This is obviously not my Harvest Moon Essay, but I felt passionately enough on this topic to discuss Stolas so take it or leave it guys lol.

A mutual of mines reposted this post that lowkey had replies that ticked me off. One of the characters in the line up being Apple White from Ever After High who I cannot stand.

The main characters I will be discussing are Stolas, Pink Diamond, Zuko (ATLA), and Apple White because I know the source material of each of these characters.

The reason this essay is being written is purely to show the difference from Stolas to a character like Apple White.

Why is Stolas Successful at getting Sympathy as a Privileged Character and not Apple White?

The reason Stolas is successful at gaining the audience's love because he is not purely just an aristocrat or rich individual, but he is an individual who has been hurt by the same system that benefits him.

While Stolas is privileged as a Goetia, being a repressed gay man still puts him in an awful position. Stolas is also a victim of abuse who has developed much empathy for individuals like Blitz who have been hurt by the same system as him. Clearly in differing ways, but still harmed by the same system that doesn't allow them to simply live.

Stolas is as much of a victim of the system as much as he is a benefactor of that system. Yes it provides wealth and money, but it actively harms his life.

Think of Pink Diamond. Yes, she is a privileged character, but Pink was actively abused into submission by the same system that hurt gems just like her. Both her and Stolas make mistakes that cause accidental harm despite both being empathetic and kind individuals. Those choices had caused damage, but it was never their intent to hurt those they loved.

Zuko, while a spoiled prince, he is also an abused and hurt son who simply wants to gain back his father's favor. We know Zuko was kind like his mother and was taught gentleness and kindness by her, but he became callous and angry due to his father and sister. Zuko had no one in his corner to protect him. However, having a loving Uncle and an environment that was willing to be patient with him fostered a world that Zuko could grow to see the errors of his ways.

All three of these characters make mistakes due to their position and privilege, but they all work in their stories to right their wrongs and do BETTER. They actively choose to change when reality hits them.

Slight tangent here, but to ANYONE who says Stolas "neglected" Octavia, LEARN TO USE A FUCKING DICTIONARY, the literal DEFINITION of neglect is;

": to leave undone or unattended to especially through carelessness"

NEGLECT FUCKING IMPLIES THAT HE NEVER FUCKING CARED FOR OCTAVIA, AND THAT'S NOT WHAT HAPPENED, SO SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Moving on, why is it Apple White is the one in this line up I do not like?

Personally it is because Apple actively chooses to harm those around her for her own benefit and she does it knowingly.

Stolas never realized he was harming Blitz.

Pink didn't know she was hurting life instead of creating it.

Zuko didn't realize the harm he was causing others and himself for a long time.

All of these characters had to face reality at some point. However, when Apple White is slapped with reality, she actively does everything to maintain the status quo and what benefits her. She actively bullies and outright mistreats Raven while also ignoring how her friends will be harmed if they followed their "happy endings". Hence why many fans do not like Apple White. Her motivations actively harm the people around her and cause danger while actively deflecting the blame onto Raven for not signing the damn book.

When writing a privileged character that you want to be likable, you need to give us SOMETHING to empathize with beyond them "not getting their way". It actively sabotages the character from being likable.

Also the way Stolas is written.

The Stolas and Blitz Dichotomy and Why It Works so Well

Stolas and Blitz are purposely written in tandem with one another to give perspectives of Hell from varying views.

Both Stolas and Blitz have very similar backgrounds as I noted in the Stolas and Via v.s. Loona and Blitz essay. Both Stolas and Blitz are the respective disappointments to their groups or families. Both suffer due to that fact and are both immensely abused by not just family, but those around them

This dichotomy of how it doesn't matter who you are you can still be abused is heavily important to their dynamic and why people are rooting for Stolitz. They're so similar despite being WORLDS apart.

Why is it so many don't really root for Apple in the same regard with her friendship to Raven. While I could be- talkin a bit outta my ass since I haven't fully watched Ever After High, but the dichotomy between Raven and Apple isn't as clean cut. It makes it incredibly hard to relate to or understand Apple when she is actively doing things AGAINST Raven's best interests, needs or wants.

Hence why I didn't entirely like her being put in a lineup with Stolas. Stolas made unintentional harm, while Apple made active and knowing harm that she exacerbated purely for her benefit.

Even when reality hit her.

A similar dichotomy is set up for Zuko and Aang in Season 1 Episode 12 of Avatar. They're two characters from differing backgrounds, but both struggled with the fact their lives were altered by things and choices they didn't realize would affect them. Aang ran away from being the Avatar due to the conflict and issues it caused. Everyone wanted Aang to be an Avatar when he was just a boy. His life- fundamentally being altered by adults around him who wanted to send him away. Zuko being permanently scarred and dishonored by his father, being banished he was fundamentally wronged by the people who were supposed to protect him. This dichotomy between Zuko and Aang in this episode allows us to humanize Zuko and empathize with his issues. The same can be said for Stolas via Blitz, allowing us to see him from a similar view we see Blitz.

Conclusion

Not sure if I'll keep this up, but this is more an "info dump" than a solid essay. Hope this all made sense.

#helluva boss #justhellaversethings #stolas #stolitz #stolas goetia #helluva boss blitz #helluva boss stolas #stolas x blitz #hazbin hotel #blitzø

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