#acceptance not tolerance

[sif-eya]

Eyes Wide Open (Awareness and Being Educated: Would That Suffice?)

Entry #13: 040722

Contrary to what most peole know, awareness is pretty prevalent already in our society. Sex education in school, political awareness in mass media, body positivity in social media, LGBTQIA  acceptance in our community, racial diversity in movies, and so on and so forth. As someone who is a GenZ, I can say that everything was and still is being spoon-fed onto us ever since we were born up until now that we are already teenagers and will most likely continue 'til we become adults. The cycle goes on and on for as far as we know. But as I think of it, is being aware and educated enough? What's the next step and how do we use those information to create a change in our society? You see, with all the means that we have as of the moment, it is not so hard to educate ourselves about certain things that are "new" or different to what we got used to. Everyone clearly knows that gay people exists, that a person's skin color varies according to where they come from, that a boy has a penis while a girl has a vagina (biologically speaking) and they can use it for reproduction, that some people are born petites while others are naturally curvy, and the loooong list continues for this and that. But what creates a division between people if they're already aware and educated? Simple, it's their own perception of things based on the environment that they grew up in — including their home, school, peers, and workplace. There are a lot of factors to consider and this is more than just opening your eyes to what's currently happening in front of you. People think that being aware and educated is enough but instead of acceptance, tolerance and/or refusal is what they do.

•"Ang daming nabubuntis na kabataan kada taon 'no? Wala nang magagawa, nadisgrasya na eh." (A lot of teenagers get pregnant every year, huh? It already happened, we can't do anything about that) — WRONG. Adults are aware of the concept of sex as well as the methods to achieving safe sex to not get pregnant or get sexually transmitted diseases (STDs)  and teenagers are not new to this, too, as this is being taught in school starting from 5th or 4th grade under Science and Health classes. However, young people tend to suffer from peer pressure. They feel the need to have sex, too, and they think that it's fine since everybody's already doing it anyway. Let's also not forget that there are a lot of cases wherein guys pressure their partners to do "it" with them since they think that being in a relationship means consent to sex, too. And whenever teenagers would like to practice safe sex, they suffer from public humiliation instead. In the Philippines, you have to be at least 18 before you are allowed to buy condoms and you'd even get the stares from the people around you. Since this is a conservative country, your parents would most likely get mad at you, too.

•"Akala mo kung sino, eh nagpalaglag naman 'yan ng bata. Pokpok kasi kaya ayan, nabuntis ng kung sino sino lang." (Who does she think she is when she had an abortion when she got pregnant by some guy that she had sex with? Such a slut) — WRONG. Abortion is healthcare. Why she got an abortion is out of our business. I'm not pro-abortion but a pro-choice instead. There are a lot of reasons why a woman would get an abortion and who are we to judge them for doing it, right? Their body, their choice! If one is not ready to conceive, why should we force them to care for a child that they didn't even want in the first place? "Why have sex then?" — I already said it and will say this again, these people probably don't have access to contraceptives and condoms. Not everyone is as privileged as you are. Stop being so entitled and grow up.

•"Bakla 'yung kapitbahay natin kaya huwag kayong lalapit doon kasi baka mahawa kayo ng kabaklaan niya. Hindi na nahiya sa diyos." (Our neighbor is gay so don't go near them because you might be gay, too. They have no respect to God) — WRONG. Being gay is not a disease and you cannot be "infected" by it. Also, just because someone is gay, doesn't mean that they're disrespecting God. And stop assuming that everyone believes in God because some people don't and you just gotta live with that. You cannot dictate people on who to love just because of your religious beliefs. Do not go around pushing your beliefs down other people's throats because they're just normal people trying to live a normal life. Let us not define people depending on their gender. Statements such as, "You're a man that's why you can't cry", "You're a woman that's why you have to wear skirts", "You're bisexual so you probably already had sex with both boys and girls", "You're pansexual? Why do you dress like that then?", are very offensive even if you're cisgender or not.

These are just some of scenarios that shows how people tend to hate instead of trying to accept and understand other people. Now answer me, why do situations like this still exist despite the majority of the population being aware and educated enough? Because 1) They're afraid to stray away from the belief that was taught to them while growing up. 2) They do not know how to act out according to the information that they now hold. 3) They think that being "okay" with things is the same as "accepting" it. As long as they don't say anything offensive, then they can avoid being labelled as "ignorants". But that's not acceptance, that's tolerance. Instead of just educating people through seminars and the likes, how about we start creating a safe space for people so that they can learn how to gather the courage that they need in order to speak up about what they already know? Let us teach them how to express their emotions in various ways like writing, singing, acting, drawing, painting etc. etc. so that they can influence others to act instead of just being silent. Because how do we expect to see changes if we're so afraid of speaking up against toxic beliefs in our society? Being aware and educated is not enough. We have to ignite the spark in our hearts and stand up for what is right.

[aborderlineblog]

Today I accepted something small that was upsetting me and I could not change. I accepted it several times and noticed my irritation decrease each time I did it.

I said to myself, “I understand I cannot change this, I accept the fact that this is the way it is. I allow myself to have this feeling of irritation.”

I feel better now and I’m glad I did this exercise.

[yardsards]

are you a "loves asmr" autistic or a "violently hates asmr" autistic? (i am the latter)

[strrwbrrryjam]

one thing homophobic gamer bros like to say to those who headcanon arthur was gay/bi or ship charthur is that "arthur was likely homophobic bc a lot of people were back then" and like. no??? he wasn't???

arthur meets margaret, the mistress of danger and his reaction is not anger, nor any sort of discomfort around his presence, he's honestly mostly confused and exasperated at his personality, as arthurs old and tired and margaret very well isn't. he isn't cruel to margaret at all and bares no judgement, he only really gets annoyed when margaret says he shouldn't give him the emerald because his dad wouldn't want him to.

he meets mr black and mr white, two men who have recently escaped from prison and watches their relationship change from hatred to love in a handful of meetings, he helps them go on to live a better life and when he figures out that mr black and mr white are in a relationship with one another, he advises them to go and find somewhere safe and secluded because "a lot of people don't like people like him," actively warn them against the type of people the gamer bros accuse him to be.

charles châtenay, comes to arthur while disguised as a woman and all he really is, is confused. charles asks him to help and protect him and arthur does. charles kisses arthur and the only thing he tells him is that "do not do that again," he doesn't yell, he doesn't shoot charles, and he doesn't even stop helping him, all he asks him is to not do that again. he's not even that annoyed, even though he would have been justified to be annoyed in this instance since he wasn't consenting to the kiss.

throughout all of this, there's no anger or discomfort to this, he's just- mostly confused, and once he gets past his confusion, he helps them anyway, even giving them advice and well wishes for them to be safe during this hateful time.

its like- no brad, arthur wasn't homophobic, you are though, and you don't get to hide your homophobia and general discomfort with queer people with a character who rockstar tells you, with a handful of examples, that he has no judgement and hatred towards people who are queer.

[akindplace]

being “different” is a lifetime of people telling that they hate me without trying to understand me. being “different” is very isolating until i find community with other “different” people and realize my experiences are not that exceptionally strange, that other people can relate to me and i can relate to them. there is power in realizing that we’re not as alone as we think, because we can’t be excluded anymore by those who want us powerless. being “different” is realizing i’m not that different and i’m not alone and i’m not powerless. it’s being arm in arm with someone and telling the world you can hate us all you want, but we’re not going anywhere.

[canisalbus]

just found ur blog and im kind of obsessed. especially with machete,, i relate to him so much. i know youve said he has anemia, does he have chronic pain? because i would love to project my own onto him. he is so!!!!

Thank you! I'm glad you like him!

I think a lot of the time he's in varying levels of vaguely uncomfortable. He gets headaches and migraines, often from some extremely fixable bad habits like not resting or eating enough, and from stress and work related neck and shoulder tension. His eyes are very sensitive to bright lights and he doesn't see that well, so he ends up squinting more than he should, which leads to chronic eyestrain and more headaches.

[leverage-ot3]

parker in the inside job is so real to me

parker, who has had a very complicated relationship with the concept of ‘family’, who blew up her abusive foster parent’s house, who bounced around the foster system before ultimately making a run for it

who was caught pick pocketing a world-renowned thief and taken in under his wing where he molded her into the best thief that ever existed, where he then ‘released her into the world’

archie took her in, yes, but he didn’t really take her in. he kept her at arm’s length, letting her live in empty warehouses and learning how to pick locks and beat security systems instead of going to school or learning what familial love was

he raised her, but only barely

and leverage did a great job of adding subtleties to her to have her come off as neurodivergent, most likely autistic. she was never what society would deem as ‘normal’, especially back then. and then archie tells nate to his face that she would never fit in, not anywhere

(and nate is mad. eliot is mad. rightfully so.)

parker is different from most people, thinks differently and acts differently. but that’s not wrong, and not her fault. but archie couldn’t see past that and take her in as she truly was, not when he had an ‘actual’ family at home. she wouldn’t fit in and that was something he wasn’t willing to risk, try or explain

and then archie calls parker asking for her thoughts on the steranko situation and she doesn’t even hesitate because his family is on the line. his real family. and he’s her father in a way no one had ever been before and looked after her in the only way she knew how and that meant something to her and she couldn’t have something like that happen to him

not on her watch

[gentleaffirmations]

I accept my emotions without judgement

[awesomecooperlove]

💯💯💯

[cabeswatersedge]

Thinking more about something Lisa said in the documentary, about Wille realizing he can’t both be a Prince and be with Simon:

So August never really became like a complete good guy. We got some more of his backstory to explain him, and I think he definitely grew as a person. But in episode 5 we see Vincent do that microagression against the other student (when they’re talking about the seniors superlatives) and August doesn’t stop it or call it out. August hasn’t become like a great guy, just a better guy than he used to be. He fixed some problems with Hillerska by changing the hazing ritual, but he isn’t suddenly fighting for social equality or whatever. Like he didn’t get rid of the hazing just adapted it. And that’s how it’s supposed to be. August doesn’t need to be a great person to be a great Prince. Because the Royal family’s job isn’t to be leaders or rally for change, their job is to uphold tradition.

Wille’s journey was never about learning to become a better Crown Prince and revolutionize the monarchy or upend the system. His journey was to realize that he could only grow and become who he wants to be by leaving the system entirely.

[whycaninotfindausername]

There's a part of the general politics of tolerance and acceptance that I don't really like and I wish would change.

Usually, it's framed as "but these people are born that way" or "they have no choice about this part of their identity", and for several facets of identity, this is true. You can't choose your ethnicity, or your assigned sex at birth, or the extent to which you may be able-bodied or disabled.

However:

This is usually the only lens through which people view and talk about tolerance and acceptance, which leaves less room to make active choices about yourself and have them accepted by society. If we take transness as an example, the "born this way" view means that pretty much only people with dysphoria can be trans because they have an innate discomfort with their assigned sex. But what if someone is totally fine with their assigned sex, but just wants to make the active choice to transition, purely because that's what they decide they want? Transition to relieve dysphoria and transition because that's just what you want should both be entirely acceptable as trans journeys. A step towards that model of trans acceptance would also just lead to a decrease in the intense denial and questioning that you see discussed in communities like /r/egg_irl. Instead of people feeling free to explore and express their gender, regardless of how strong or weak their dysphoria is, many people are instead starting their journey by interrogating themselves constantly, and trying to invalidate themselves, because they don't feel like it's ok or normal to just be trans for no reason other than they want to.

The same goes not just for trans identities, I'm just using it as an example. We can do the same for weight: instead of only going with the argument that some people just can't help being fat because of genetic factors, metabolism, or the foods available to them because of their location or socioeconomic status, we should also treat a choice to gain weight as valid and acceptable, the same way we do with a choice to lose weight.

[summershouto]

brought to you by my various saved pins on Pinterest

[yardsards]

clint mcelroy creating a dnd character: oh yeah, this bad boy can fit so much simple zest for life in him

[furiousgoldfish]

All your childhood you've been fed the idea that violations of your boundaries should be interpreted as love. And sometimes it felt wrong, you could tell that something is not right; these people should not be causing you this much pain, all of their 'concerns' or 'fears' should not be controlling every aspect of your life and keeping you from having any freedom. Their 'short tempers' or 'issues' should not mean violence towards you is okay, their words should never make you feel this despised, worthless and disposable.

But when you complained, you heard 'No, they're your parents! They do this because they love you. They know better than you, they're only doing what is the best for you. They would never intentionally hurt you, you have to understand their side of the issue. You have to understand their intentions when they did this. You have to forgive them and love them the way they are. They had a tough life. You'll understand one day.'

And since everyone is claiming this left and right, you eventually accept it. Boundary violation is done out of care and love. When people cause you pain, you have to look at their feelings and intentions first and not take it personally. When someone feels the urge to control you, it's because they care. If someone lashes out at you, it's your job to take it and forgive. You don't fight back because these people all know better for you and have your well being in mind when they're doing all of these horrible, painful, sometimes even traumatic things to you.

And then using these guidelines you end up in the hands of predators, you have one abuser after another barging into your life, finding you a perfect target, and your soul feels crushed. Because not after all you already endured, not this, you don't deserve this again, you got this far believing that if you keep your good heart and kindness and compassion that somebody will love you, and you don't understand what you did wrong, why couldn't you be enough, why weren't you good enough so these people wouldn't hurt you.

And those same people from before, who told you over and over to tolerate and forgive and take boundary violations as love, these people will people look at what's happening to you and go 'Well why didn't you build proper boundaries' WELL WHY DO YOU THINK

[odinsblog]

[evicrystal7]

🏳️‍🌈✨️Happy Pride Parade🏳️‍⚧️✨️

I wish all those lgbt folks, all genders and labels, a pleasant day🤗💖