#actually the next part should be more intense regardless lol

[atinydragon]

Echoing Whispers Part 1

Oooooooh boy here this is. Hope you enjoy! Summary: A fairy hive desperate for money, agrees to to ‘sell’ one of it’s members who will be able to escape. Unbeknownst to them, he never intends to return after escaping. Unknown to any of them, his escape won’t be as easy as they thought.

Edit: old version

part 2: https://www.tumblr.com/atinydragon/696559479630741504/echoing-whispers-part-2?source=share Word count: 2k

Content Warnings: selling people, treating people as objects, implied animal abuse and death, mouth horror, grabbing, man-handling (kinda), and cages.

Echo regretted his decision to ride in the cage.

It had seemed like a smart choice back at the house. After all, it was where he was supposed to end up. Why wouldn't he just ride in it? It would be a bit silly not to honestly

Except this did not take into account that the puppets were made to have realistic body movements. And that the cage would be attached at the hip.

This meant that as the puppet's legs moved, the cage would be jostled about. It would happen as the thigh swung forward, as the foot hit the ground, and again as the other leg went through its motions.

And Echo was along for the ride with every movement.

He gripped the cold iron bars and braced himself against the smooth floor as best he could. At the very least he was able to keep his back from touching the bars. While he might not have wings that could be burnt against the metal, the little nubs on his back were still sensitive to it.

It was also shockingly dark under the puppet's cloak. Echo could hardly see the outline of the bars. If he lost his grip he might not find it again and spent the rest of the trip sliding around the cage floor.

Which would not be great.

Thankfully the trip wasn't much longer. Soon the puppet paused for a moment, and a long creak signaled their arrival. Though the reprieve didn't last long as the puppet opened the door and walked inside.

"Please stop walking soon" thought Echo as he nearly lost his grip.

Finally the puppet, presumably, reached the counter. A voice came out of the puppet.

Even with the magic altering it, Echo recognized Leaf's voice. He felt a twinge of guilt. This was going to be the last time he heard it after all.

Leaf talked with the store owner for a couple minutes. Then the puppet's hand came for the cage.

Carefully the puppet unclasped the cage and pulled it out of the cloak.

Echo blinked as his eyes adjusted to the brighter light. He was set down on a wooden counter right in front of a bored looking human.

The human leaned forward to scrutinize the tiny fairy.

Echo leaned away as much as he could. This was going to be the worst part.

"It doesn't have wings." said the human.

"Correct." said Leaf. "But it is still a living fairy."

The human absentmindedly scratched their neck "It is... but what good is it if it can't make fairy dust?"

Echo resisted the urge to roll his eyes. The human's eyes had nearly fallen out when he saw the fairy. No way did the smuggler not know of the uses of fairy magic outside of their dust.

Eventually Leaf wore down the human's hard to get charade. Then came the haggling.

Instead of paying attention to that nonsense, Echo looked around the room. Most of his view was blocked by the two giant figures right by him but he could still see a bit.

It wasn't as run down as he had been expecting. There wasn't the huge piles of dirt, or mouse holes, or sad animals chained up in the corners. It was pretty plain actually. Everything was some shade of brown but relatively clean. There was even of vase of colorful flowers on the other end of the counter.

While Echo was glad to not have to witness the terrible conditions just yet, it was a bit disappointing. The cleanliness and generally lack of clutter would not help in his escape. And some mouse holes would have been really convent. But at least the flowers would hopefully mean there would be more plants than anticipated. He could have fun with that.

Finally the two giants exchanged a heavy coin bag. The deal had been made.

"Well than." said Leaf "It was a pleasure doing business with you."

Echo couldn't help but look over his shoulder as the puppet walked out of the store. Guilt gnawed on his spine. He knew that he was never going to see Leaf again. But Leaf didn't know that and would never really be able to say goodbye.

Suddenly the cage was grabbed roughly and Echo was barely able to hang on. He was raised up and up until he was level with the human's face.

The human stared at the fairy, clearly scrutinizing the smaller person.

Echo gritted his teeth. He really really wanted to flip this guy off or do anything. But he also wanted to be left alone as soon as possible. Then he could slip through the bars and be off to freedom. Hopefully that wouldn't tip this human off to the fact that iron only affects fairy wings.

Regardless, making the giant mad would only prolong this dreadful experience. So Echo would have to keep his cool somehow.

"Sal! Get in here!" yelled the human abruptly.

"Do not cuss him out." thought Echo as he clamped his hands over his ears. "Do not tell him to shut his fat mouth."

After some more unnecessary yelling, Sal appeared. "Yeah boss?"

The human, Boss apparently, handed over Echo's cage to Sal. "Take this to the back."

Sal also decided to inspect the fairy. "Really? It has no wings, why'd you buy it?"

Oh boy, Echo was really excelling at self control today. He was only glaring the human's soul away. There had better be a blueberry bush nearby because he certainly deserved a reward.

Boss shrugged "What does it matter, it still has magic don't it?"

"You're right." With that Sal turned and went back through the door he came from.

Past the doors was a large room filled with cages.

Echo looked down at his own cage's floor. He really didn't want to see all the creatures being cruelly kept here. There was no way he'd be able to stand looking into their eyes and not freeing them. But he couldn't. It was too risky and he had no way to get them back to their homes. So he had to keep looking down. Bad enough that he had to hear them...

It was really quiet actually. No whines or growls or even the clicking of claws on metal. In fact it was almost completely silent, save for the sound of the human's shoes.

Unable to stop himself, Echo looked up around the room.

The cages were empty.

All of the cages were empty.

Some of them had their doors shut and were cleaned to were you almost couldn't tell they had been occupied. Others doors hanged open, with bits of fur or feathers or droppings still left in them. But every last cage in the room was empty.

A cold icy dread crept over Echo's bones. This made no sense. Theses humans were known to have a large collection of magical creatures. That was how the hive had found them. So where was their collection?

Echo shook his head. He was panicking for no reason. So what that literally every cage was empty? Surely they just had a couple big sales recently?

Right?

Sal finally crossed the room, arriving at another door. He opened it.

Inside was a very dark room that's only light was what trickled through a small window slit and what came from the bigger room. It was empty except for a large cage and the odd equipment next to it.

Echo recognized the equipment. It was very similar to how the hive powered the puppets. There was a large barrel connected to a black metal box on top of a table. Inscribed on the box were various runes that would translate collected magic into the desired form. These seemed to be making it into a liquid and then depositing it into the barrel.

There were more tubes going from the box to the cage.

That was when Echo finally realized that the smugglers did have one occupied cage.

Curled up inside was a demon of sorts. They were alarmingly thin, with nothing but rags on. And a thick metal caller that the tubes from the box were connected to.

"Ah. That's why." Echo thought as the cold came back "Instead of having to take care of a bunch of animals they just suck the life out of them. And then sell it." He was going to be sick. Maybe he'd still have a chance of escape. Though Echo wasn't sure if he could be happy about it, as it was going to come at the expense of this person getting killed.

Did he dare to get them both out?

Before Echo could even try to think of a plan, there was a loud click as the lock to his cage had been unlocked.

Suddenly Echo's vision was filled with the human's hand. He couldn't even squirm before it was wrapped around him.

Sal roughly pulled the fairy out of the cage. He seemed to be aware of the fairy's urge to bite him, as he quickly dropped Echo into the larger cage. Not even bothering to open the door, just shove his hand through the bars and let go.

Echo tumbled to the ground. It hadn't been a high fall at least.

The demon shrunk back away from the noise, their tail curling around them. It was an odd tail for a demon, thicker and it didn't have the usual spike at the end.

A slam sounded through the tiny room, making Echo and the demon jump. Sal had left them alone.

"Okay" thought Echo "now time to..." he turned towards the bars. While the thick bars were spaced far enough that he could have easily walked through them, wooden planks twice his height had been attached to them. "...escape."

This was fine. Totally fine.

There was a shuffling behind Echo.

He turned backs towards the demon.

The demon had uncurled themself slightly. Despite the fact that there was less light now, Echo noticed more... odd things about the demon.

Like that they had scales. Echo was pretty sure that demons didn't have scales. And then he noticed the wings. They were hard to spot in the darkness, but they were there folded tightly against the 'demon's' back. Demons definitely did not have wings.

Echo reflexively stepped back. There was no way. It couldn't be right? Those things live so far away and are imposable to see let alone capture.

The creature leaned forward, an arm outstretching.

"Shit!" Echo turned and slammed his hands on the planks. He poured magic into them, hoping something would grow.

But nothing did. The planks were long dead.

He looked down, he could feel seeds nestled deep under ground. But the cage's floor was metal. There was no way they would be strong enough to pierce it.

He had stood still for too long.

A hand wrapped around his waist.

Echo jolted and tried to struggle. But the thin fingers held him easily, and they raised him up and turned him around to face the creature. The creature's white eyes were focused on the fairy in their grasp. They started opening their mouth. It was wide. Way too wide. And so many teeth lining it.

And it confirmed Echo's fears.

This was a soul-eater. A magic eater. A Drake.

"No no NO NO" Echo kicked his legs around and squirmed. He was going to have the life drained out of him and then chewed up. And his magic wasn't even going to go to the Drake it was going to go to those stupid bastards.

The Drake paused. Their mouth closing slightly.

Echo was still panicking. His mind finally found something other than mindless failing to focus on. Echo bit down on the Drake's finger. His tiny sharp teeth managed to find their way past the scales.

The Drake screeched, and they let go of Echo.

For a few moments Echo felt like he was floating.

And then he hit the ground. 

His back took the brunt of the fall, knocking the wind out of his lungs.

Whenever Echo read about a character losing their breath it was a quick affair. They got hit, they wheezed, and then they were back at it.

That was not what loosing your breath was like.

Echo tried to breath in, but no air filled his lungs. It was like a thick cloth was in front of his mouth blocking all the air. He couldn't move. He couldn't even tell if he really was trying to breath or if he was just laying there. Or even feel how empty his lungs were.

All he could do was stare at the ceiling.

And he couldn't do anything about the hand slowly approaching him again.

——————————————————————————- taglist that I hopefully did right

@gtinthepot 

[scaredpigeons]

More than you can chew. II: those damned flowers.

Previous // Next

Elirah (genshin impact OC) x 4ggravate (Alhaitham, Kaveh, Cyno & Tighnari)

Word count: 5.3k

WARNING: NSFW 18+ MDNI. This fic contains smut between literally all the characters, the only two who don’t really fuck is ‘Haitham and Cyno cuz they’re the only ones unaffected by the aphrodisiac lol. Dubcon only because of the aphrodisiac, but come on, they’d all fuck regardless, so it should be fiiine.

CW: aphrodisiacs, sex, oral sex, (m and f receiving) handjobs, pussyjob, Tighnari knots Elirah, creampies, talk of impregnating Eli, but it’s okay she’s on birth control cuz girl don’t play around like that, dirty talk, Alhaitham and Cyno banter (sexually charged banter) anal sex (Tighnari rec), haikaveh and Cynonari content, multiple orgasms, Tighnari bites Eli.

Authors Note: I figured I’d post this while y’all wait for the Neuvi smut. It’s coming along, but slowly. I had to take a break bc I run the risk of carpal tunnel at this point, so I gotta be careful lol. I know this isn’t x reader, but I’d really love it if y’all gave elirah some of your time, she means a lot to me. There’s plenty more where this came from, and im working on more smutty continuations of part 1 so keep an eye out! :)

————————————

Hot. Everything was hot. 

She gripped the edge of the reservoir, her vision darkening at the edges, fuzzy and strange. 

A wave of pure, nauseating need pulsed through her. She groaned, doubling over herself. 

“Eli!” Kaveh moved through the water towards her, resting a hand on the small of her back. “A-are you..?”

She moaned his name, the heat from his palm radiating through her clothes.

“Be careful, Kaveh,” Alhaitham said, still standing in the entrance, deathly still. “You might actually want to get out of the water, it affects women and Valuka Shuna more intensely than men.”

“I—“ Kaveh doubled over into himself a bit, clutching his abdomen while he instinctually moved closer to her. “All the more reason I shouldn’t leave them!”

Elirah turned, clutching to Kaveh’s front, pressing herself against him. 

“Hot,” she whimpered into his chest. “It’s so hot.”

“H-how do you…” Kaveh groaned, holding her closer as she rubbed against him. “How do you know s-so much about… hah.”

Elirah couldn’t control herself, everything in her screamed Kaveh, Kaveh, Kaveh. 

He was so warm, his skin felt so good. She ground her hips against him, seeking relief from the erection straining in his trousers. 

“Coolielust lotus was an extremely popular aphrodisiac in ancient societies.” Alhaitham said, almost hesitant as he watched Elirah push herself into Kaveh further, eyeing the way his knee ran between her thighs as she ground herself down on it. “It came up within my studies quite often at the akademiya, and if you read some decent historical texts every once in a while I’m sure you’d know of it too…”

Kaveh’s hands found the plush of Elirah’s ass as he helped her grind into him, his eyes rolling back.

Cyno stepped forward as if he meant to reach out to Tighnari, who was still clutching the edge of the reservoir as if he would otherwise float away from it. 

Alhaitham shot his arm out, blocking the smaller man from moving any closer. 

“Don’t.” He said. “They’re not in their right minds, Cyno.”

“But…” the general Mahamatra looked back and forth between his lover and Alhaitham, eyes pleading. 

Elirah whined, reaching out behind her at the forest watcher. “N-nari…” 

Tighnari moved faster than he should’ve been able to in the water, his hands latching onto Elirah’s waist as he ground himself into her from behind, pushing her further into Kaveh and causing all three of them to let out the most obscene moans. 

Tighnari’s teeth pulled at the high collar of Elirah’s bodysuit, and his mouth latched onto the soft skin on the side of her throat when it was exposed to him. 

“N-Nari.” She moaned. “C-cure?” She was surprised she could push the words from her lips, let alone think them. All she wanted was for this aching heat to be over. 

“Orgasms.” He growled into her skin. “So many fucking orgasms.” 

She moaned again, throwing her head back onto his shoulder as he and Kaveh moved in tandem against her, grinding themselves desperately into her back and front. 

Tighnari pushed her down further into Kavehs waiting thigh, moving her himself now as he ground against her ass. 

“Ah!” Elirah squealed, a sudden and unexpected high falling over her senses. “I’m gonna—!” 

“Cum.” Tighnari growled into her shoulder before licking his way up the side of her throat. “Cum all over him, ‘Lirah.” 

And she did, it blossomed from her aching clit throughout her whole body, somehow soaking the crotch of her shorts even further, despite the sloshing water still surrounding them. Her legs buckled as she cried out, body going limp as both Kaveh and Tighnari pushed and pulled at her body for their own pleasures. 

“This is…” Cyno shifted, hands coming to re-situate himself in the front of his shorts as his widened eyes watched his three friends writhe in the water below. “This is so wrong.”

Alhaitham wasn’t faring any better, but kept his mouth shut and his arms folded firmly across his chest. He was a grown man, a renowned scholar, and he prided himself on his impeccable self control. 

Kaveh unzipped the front of Elirahs bodysuit, pulling her breasts free as he leaned down to pop a pert, rosy nipple into his mouth— moaning and clutching her further into him. 

“Fuck…” Alhaitham groaned under his breath, feeling himself twitch against his thigh. It was unfortunate that the two people who tested his self control the most were two of the people in front of him, giving he and Cyno the show of a lifetime. 

“Off.” Tighnari growled, pulling at Elirahs remaining clothes. “Off, now.” 

Alhaitham watched with hesitant eyes as Tighnari and Kaveh worked to pull the back lacings of Elirahs corset before shucking it and her bodysuit down her body, throwing them on the bed of the water without a second thought.

 Elirah pulled at her gloves, flinging them away as she pulled at Kaveh’s clothes. 

“Need…” she gasped as Tighnari’s gloved hands pulled at her ribcage, growling posessively into the skin of her shoulder. “Need to touch.” 

“Alhaitham…” Cyno said hesitantly. “I don’t know if Kaveh being in there with them is a good idea…” 

Alhaitham struggled to pull his eyes away. “Why do you say that?”

“Tighnari… he can get possessive. I’ve only seen him act like this during his ruts… mating season can get… rough.” 

Alhaithams brow furrowed as he watched Tighnari’s hands get rougher and more persistent, and the low growls in the back of the fox’s throat grew deeper and louder as Kaveh continued sucking and pulling on Elirahs breasts. 

“Fuck.” Alhaitham cussed under his breath. “Fuck, fuck.”

He walked to the water's edge, holding his hand out to Kaveh. 

“Come on, out you get,”

Kaveh whined, pulling himself closer to Eli with no regard for the way Tighnari growled, the way he glared at him. 

“N-need,” Kaveh stuttered, pulling at the front of his pants. 

“I’ll take care of you, Kaveh, but you need to get out before Tighnari ends up hurting you, or even Elirah.”

Alhaitham couldn’t tell if the prospect of him being the one to take care of Kaveh was what made the man so eager, or the possibility of he or Eli being hurt, but either way his eyes widened as he quickly slipped from Eli’s grasp and out of the water. 

“He runs less of a risk of hurting her if there's no immediate threats to him, he should be…” Cyno trailed off as Alhaitham pulled a needy Kaveh from the water, who immediately jumped into the scribe's arms, locking himself to his lips and grinding incessantly where his legs wrapped around his waist. 

His eyes fluttered back to the pool as Elirah whined, only to watch as Tighnari pushed her against the edge, bending her over before roughly pulling at the front of his shorts, pulling them down and entering her in one swift motion. 

Alhaitham sat down, pulling Kaveh’s back to rest against his chest, facing the other two in the pool before them. He pulled at the architect's pants, freeing his leaking erection with firm hands. 

Kaveh writhed in his grip, gasping, hands grabbing whatever part of Alhaitham he could. 

“Shhh,” Alhaitham hushed him. “I’ll take care of you Kaveh, you’re fine.”  

His moral compass was skewed now, watching Tighnari thrust roughly into Elirah, watching her face twist in pure relief and pleasure as she white knuckled the rocky waters edge. 

Alhaitham kissed Kaveh’s neck, rough hand pulling at his cock as he brought his other hand to shove two fingers into Kavehs panting mouth. 

“That’s good,” Alhaitham murmured in his ear. “Suck on my fingers, I’ve got you.” 

Tighnari continued his rough pace, gloved hands gripping Elirahs pale skin as they both whined and cried out in the water. 

Cyno pulled his eyes away from the two on the ground, creeping forward slowly towards the water. 

Tighnari’s ears perked up, and he brought his teeth down onto the muscle connecting Elirahs neck and shoulder as he growled at Cyno. 

She cried out, body shaking as another orgasm ripped through her, Tighnari’s pace never faltering. 

“Nari, baby.” Cyno said, voice small and soothing. “I’m not gonna take her from you.” 

“Mine.” Tighnari growled, hips rutting harder, deeper. 

“Yours,” Cyno nodded. “Right Eli?” 

Her eyes were glazed over, but she managed to grasp a hand around Tighnari’s where it rested on her hip, squeezing it reassuringly. 

“Y-yours, Nari.” She moaned, eyes rolling back once more as the fox purred into her skin. “…’m all yours.” 

Cyno cautiously moved and sat at the edge of the pool, his hand hesitantly reaching out before brushing along Tighnari’s ear, making the fox growl, then whine out as he realized who was touching him. 

“Are you sure you wanna knot her, baby? You can always come out, I’ll take care of you.” Cyno said, slowly, without any pressure. 

Tighnari shook his head aggressively, mouthing at the bite mark on Elirahs shoulder. 

“No, no.” He whined low in his throat before it turned into a growl. “Gonna fill her up, give her my pups.” 

Cyno turned to Alhaitham, who was mouthing at Kaveh’s earlobe, still stroking the blond's cock as he writhed against him. 

Alhaitham must’ve been listening in over Kaveh’s whines. “She’s on birth control, it should be fine.” He murmured, eyes flitting between his hand stroking Kaveh and the scene before him. 

Cyno nodded, and continued to brush his fingers along Tighnari’s ears. 

“It’s gonna be a lot Elirah,” he said, though his eyes never left Tighnari, hoping to not spark up his possessive nature any more than it already was. “The first time taking a knot is… a lot. If you don’t think you can…” 

“No, I want it!” She cried out, meeting Tighnari’s thrusts. “Want your pups ‘Nari, please!”

“Wet,” Tighnari breathed. “So wet, warm. Perfect to take my knot. Perfect for my pups. Perfect.” 

Elirah had never felt so wet before, he was right. Slick seemed to pool from her in droves, coating his cock and dripping down their thighs as he pounded it into her, his thrusts losing rhythm. 

“Baby, I’m gonna help her through it, okay?” Cyno asked cautiously. 

“Take it,” Tighnari huffed, voice raising in pitch and hips stuttering. “Take it.”

Cyno cupped Elirahs face, thumbing the tears that started to form as Tighnari’s knot began to expand, and he pushed it through the tight ring of her entrance. 

Elirah clamped down on him, cumming with him as the first spurts of his seed painted her warmth in white. 

“Good, good girl.” Cyno cooed, wiping the saliva dribbling from her mouth. “Stay nice and still for him.” 

Tighnari grinded himself against her, knot locking his cock and cum deep inside her, moaning and gasping at how her walls twitched and pulled at him with every slow spurt of cum shot within. 

Kaveh keened, body vibrating as he watched with heavy lids.

“Look at him fill up our girl, Kaveh,” Alhaitham breathed. “Look at how pretty she looks while she cums.” 

And he did, he watched her, and suddenly Alhaithams hands became too much, his body burned where it touched his, and the cord inside him snapped, cumming all over Alhaitham’s hand in pretty white ropes. 

Alhaitham may have had some objections to getting involved in the recovery process before, but watching Cyno lean down to kiss Elirah sweetly on the lips before he pressed a kiss to Tighnari’s forehead only helped sway him in the opposite direction. 

The quicker they can get this out of their systems, the better. 

“More,” Kaveh whined in his grasp, cock still leaking and jumping in his hand. “Haitham… need more.” 

Alhaitham looked to Cyno. “How long does that usually last?” He watched as Elirah continued to flinch, her body vibrating at Tighnari’s cock jumped with more spurts of cum every few moments.  

“About 15 minutes, though sometimes longer.” Cyno eyed the pair in front of them. “It’s worse if he doesn’t relax.”

Alhaitham glared, suddenly feeling a spark of possession himself, wanting Elirah in his arms, wanting to be the one to take care of her. “Then make him relax.” 

Cyno seemed like he wanted to protest, but saw the way Tighnari still rutted his hips, shoulders tense and mouth still latched onto Elirah’s shoulder. 

He sighed, slipping into the water and moving behind Tighnari. 

The fox growled as Cyno pushed his shorts further down his legs, reaching to rub soothing circles on his thighs. 

Tighnari relaxed, but only enough to soothe the growl in the back of his throat. 

Cyno dipped his fingers between Tighnari’s legs, coating them in the loose mixture of arousals soaking Tighnari’s pelvis and thighs. 

He brought them back behind, circling a gentle finger on Tighnari’s rim, making the fox jump in pleasure. 

“Shh, baby.” Cyno pressed himself closer. “Relax for me, I’ll take care of you.”

Elirah moaned shakily, the knot inside her deflating ever so slightly, only enough for a rush of cum to flow out the space created, but still not enough for it to come out completely. 

“Won’t that just make it worse?” Alhaitham asked, attitude peaking through. 

“Once his knot is formed, it automatically starts the come down process, and it takes a decent while to be able to pump back up, only able to do so after it’s completely come down.” Cyno said, though he was focused on his fingers tracing and prodding at Tighnari’s ass. “The more relaxed he is, the quicker it deflates, and he loves this, loves having his ass played with, don’t you, pup.”

Tighnari whines, squirming a bit but otherwise still holding tightly to Elirah. 

“And he’s trained so well,” Cyno says, a bit condescending, not really speaking to Alhaitham anymore. “He knows to relax when I’m back here, otherwise I won’t be able to fit my cock in his pretty little hole.” 

Tighnari’s knot loses more mass, and a large rush of thick, pearly cum comes flowing out of Elirah, before she clenches down, inadvertently pushing Tighnari the rest of the way out with a wince and a whine at the stretch. 

His cock falls out, twitching and jumping as he watches his cum flow uncontrollably from Elirahs still clenching hole. 

He whines, reaching to shove his cock back inside, to keep the rest of his seed from falling out, wasted in the water; but Cyno grabs his arms and pulls him back, flush against his chest. 

“Nuh uh,” he tuts against Tighnari’s cheek. “You need to get out of this water, then we can keep going.” 

Tighnari whined and thrashed, but otherwise let Cyno pull him back, his more submissive nature being pulled from him by the General. 

“Alhaitham, come get her.” Cyno said, pulling Tighnari out of the water.

Elirah was still bent over the edge of the reservoir, the naturally smoothed stone rubbing deliciously against her aching nipples. She shook, feeling cum flow out of her still clenching hole, moaning at the warmth of it. 

“Sit tight, beautiful,” Alhaitham whispered just low enough for Kaveh to hear. “I’ll be right back.”

Alhaitham waded into the water behind Elirah, soothing warm hands up her spine. 

“How are you feeling?” He murmured, bringing a hand to cup some water before pouring it down the backs of her thighs, washing away the cum that had dripped down that far. 

“H-hot,” she stuttered, shivering as his hands moved higher to wash her leaking core. “It’s a burning f-feeling… inside…” she cried out as his fingers prodded at her entrance, pulling at what was left of the fox’s cum from within her. 

“Still?” He questioned. “Three wasn’t enough?” 

She shook her head, pushing back into his fingers as he cleaned her out. “More,” she moaned. 

Their attention snapped upwards as a low groan from Cyno rang throughout the cavern, and they watched as both Tighnari and Kaveh knelt at the general's feet, kissing and suckling at his jumping cock between them. 

“I thought I told you to stay where you were, Kaveh?” Alhaitham huffed. 

Cyno’s face burned a deep shade of red as he covered the lower half of it with his hands in shame. 

“Tighnari just… a-and then he…” he groaned, watching the fox and the blond make out over the crown of him, their tongues swirling against one another while slurping up the obscene amount of pre leaking from the tip. 

Alhaitham pulled Elirah from the water, laying his cloak out on the rock before putting her down on it. 

“You seem to have that plenty under control, General,” Alhaitham quipped, a light smirk forming across his lips as he watched Cyno struggle to remain standing with the attention he was receiving. “I’ll be just a moment.” 

He leaned down, pulling Elirah towards him by her hips before diving in between her legs to mouth at her core. 

She cried out, pulling at his hair and writhing in his grasp as he licked and sucked at her clit, moaning slightly at the slick that was still pooling from her. 

It didn’t particularly matter to him at the moment whether it was Tighnari’s, her own, or a mixture of both their fluids; all that really mattered to him in that moment was helping to ease the discomfort Elirah was feeling, and he knew the only way to do so was to fuck orgasm after orgasm out of her until the drug was out of her system. 

“Haitham,” she breathed, chest heavy with the weight of her impending high. “H-how are you so… good…” 

“I’m a quick learner, Elirah,” he murmured, slurping against her clit. “You knew this the other night when you let me crawl between your legs the first time.” His devious grin was infectious, and through the fog she threw her head back and smiled at the memory. 

“And the second time,” he flicked his tongue against her in steady strokes now. “And the third.” 

Her hands gripped his hair hard as she shattered in his mouth, back arching off the cloak covered stone as she came and came and came, seemingly never ending as he worked her through it. 

“AH!” She squealed, kicking her feet where they rested on her shoulders. “T-too much!” 

“Really?” He smirked, it was small and soaked in her juices. “Because to me, it’s never enough.” He whispered. 

He continued to lick at her until the air pushed from her lungs in a dry squeal, and then he pulled away, admiring his handiwork. 

Elirah’s exposed chest heaved with her breaths of recovery, still glistening with water, although he supposed it could be sweat as well, a common symptom of the drug was a rising body temperature. 

He felt a pull in the pit of his stomach to lean down and lick it from the valley between her breasts, and almost succeeded in denying it, but she whined, staring at him through heavy lids as if she still wasn’t done.

“Fucking hells…” he cussed, leaning in to drag his tongue flat across her perspirating skin. She tasted sweet, delicate and floral, and he didn’t have the heart to think his way around why exactly she tasted so good. He just knew he enjoyed it, so Alhaitham allowed himself to give a couple more licks before he stopped. 

“Fuck!” Cyno exclaimed, still dealing with Tighnari and Kaveh a few meters away. 

Kaveh was pantsless now, pulling at his own cock while he mouthed at Tighnari’s jawline. The fox was jerking the General off like a madman, holding out his tongue, waiting and drooling for Cynos release. 

The pair of them staring up at him like that must’ve been too much, because Cyno bit down on his knuckles and came hard, coating both Tighnari and Kaveh in long white ropes with every stutter of his hips. 

Tighnari swallowed what he’d managed to catch in his mouth and leaned to lick the remaining mess from Kaveh’s face and chest. Kaveh keened, his hand stroking himself faster as Tighnari nibbled over his nipples, and Elirah shuddered beneath Alhaitham as they watched Tighnari bite over the marks already lingering there. 

“You like watching him, don’t you?” Alhaitham whispered, sitting her up and putting her in his lap, just as he had with Kaveh moments earlier. 

She whined, nodding and watching the blond shiver and pull at his own cock more aggressively. 

“Cyno,” Kaveh begged. “Cyno, kiss me.” 

The general smiled, a little more calm now that his orgasm had faded, and leaned down to do just that. 

Kaveh moaned into his mouth, whining desperately as Tighnari continued to suck and nip at him, making more marks across his pretty chest. 

Elirah shuddered again as she watched the moment where Cyno bit at Kaveh’s lower lip, and the blond cried out, his hips jumping as he spilled into his hand and along Tighnari’s lap, who purred lavishly at the feeling of it, his cock still hard and throbbing, knot fully deflated. 

“Good boy, Kaveh.” Cyno petted his hair, running his fingers through it affectionately. “You did so good, but I think someone’s waiting for you.” 

Cyno’s eyes trailed behind him, and Kaveh turned and watched as Alhaitham hoisted Elirahs knees up to her chest, exposing her glistening core to the cavern. 

Kaveh nearly drooled as he scrambled over, brain foggy and cock still throbbing with need. 

Cyno busied himself with ridding Tighnari of his clothes, bending him over in the pile to work his fingers back into his ass as he watched the scene unfolding in front of him. 

Alhaitham hooked Elirah’s knees over his arms as he reached forward for Kaveh, grabbing his cock and dragging it through her folds, shivering at the way they both keened in his control. 

“Please,” Kaveh pushed at her core, and Alhaitham let go of his cock in favor of grabbing his hips to still them. 

“Do you think you deserve it?” Alhaitham teased, pushing and pulling at his hips, dragging his aching cock across Elirah, her juices only aiding in the slide. 

“I didn’t take you for a sadist, Alhaitham.” Cyno grinned, thrusting a third finger into Tighnari and watching darkly as the fox shuddered and squealed. 

“Really?” Alhaitham huffed, his own small grin forming once more. “Because I read you as a brat tamer from day one, yet yours seems to be rather spoiled.” 

“What can I say?” Cyno sighed, pulling his fingers from Tighnari. The fox whined, and then mewled as the General pressed the blunt head of his cock against his well prepared entrance. “He behaves more when he’s kept well fed.” 

Cyno pushes his cock into Tighnari in one stroke, and the fox cries out, eyes bulging in their sockets. The general sets a brutal pace right away, slamming into the forest watcher with reckless abandon. 

Alhaithams eyes watch darkly for a moment before he returns to his torturing of the two in his lap. He pulls at Kaveh faster, effectively forcing what he’s heard called a ‘pussyjob’ onto the blond. 

Elirah cries out in his hold, Kaveh’s blunt cockhead pressing against her clit, making it throb and building her next release with each stroke. 

“You're gonna make her cum again, Kaveh. How kind of you,” Alhaitham breathed, teasing the both of them. He was sure Elirah could feel his erection straining against his pants, but he could honestly care less about it, watching the two of them writhe in his hold was gratifying enough for now. 

Kaveh whined, and the slaps of skin and cries from Tighnari grew, pulling the blond’s attention away. 

Alhaitham moved a hand to grab Kaveh’s chin, pulling his gaze back in front of him. “You’ll look at her when she cums, Kaveh. Don’t be rude,” he demanded. 

“Ahh,” Kaveh groaned, watching the way his straining cock slid between her folds with sloppy, imprecise thrusts. 

“I’m…” Elirah whined. “I’m gonna…!”

Alhaitham watched as she jerked in his hold, his grip on Kaveh’s hips getting tighter as he stroked the blond through Elirahs orgasm, watching as he shuddered and his cock twitched and swelled. 

Just as Elirah’s hit her peak, bordering into overstimulation, he pulled Kaveh back and angled his hips just a bit lower, making him enter her in one fluid motion. 

They both squealed, and Elirah shuddered with a dull internal orgasm, her body so sensitive from the external orgasm she just went through. 

Alhaitham guided Kaveh’s hips to rock in and out of her, and the blond gasped as he too came upon entry, his straining cock jumping as he pumped her full of his seed. 

“Good,” Alhaitham breathed. “Keep going.”

They both whined, long and strained, but Kaveh’s hips began to rock on their own, and Elirah’s whine turned into a groan as their shared juices frothed in a messy ring at the base of Kaveh’s cock. 

Cyno continued battering poor Tighnari’s ass with powerful thrusts, and Alhaitham noticed the pool of cum on the pile of clothes beneath Tighnari’s knees, and his already deflating knot. 

He mentally noted Cynos impressive stamina, though he didn’t really want to think more on why he did that.

Cyno pulled Tighnari upright by the hair, and pressed his chest to the foxes back as he continued his pace. 

“I’ll make you cum so hard you won’t have a single drop of it left in your system, Nari.” 

The general reached around and squeezed at the remaining knot from Tighnari’s second orgasm, making the archer cry out pitifully. 

“I’ll milk you fucking dry and then carry you home when your legs refuse to carry you themselves.” Cyno growled. 

Kaveh shuddered in Alhaithams hold once more, his hips picking up their pace. 

“Oh?” Alhaitham gripped his hips harder, making the blond moan out. “You like hearing them, don’t you, Kaveh?” 

Alhaitham grinned over the blond’s shoulder at Cyno, who smiled and nipped at Tighnari’s jawline from behind. “Hear that Nari? Our audience loves to hear how much of a slut you are for me.” 

Elirah cried out as Kaveh’s cock jumped inside her, his hips stuttering as his pace grew more sloppy. 

“Kaveh’s just weak for anyone who talks filthy in his presence.” Alhaitham teased. “Doesn’t even have to be directed at him and he’s weak in the knees, aren’t you, sweetheart?” 

“Mhm,” Kaveh nodded frantically, “p-please— ‘haitham.”

“Oh?” Alhaitham hummed, teasing him more. “I thought it was Cyno’s words you were enjoying. Why don’t you beg him some more?”

Cyno laughed, picked up Tighnari and walked them to lay him down beside Elirah, who was still folded in half in Alhaithams lap, legs still draped over his arms as she took Kaveh’s thrusts with weak yet satisfied moans. 

Cyno pulled out of Tighnari, flipping him and laying him on his back on the rock, entering him with a smooth thrust once more. Tighnari mewled once more, reaching out and grabbing at Alhaithams thigh before his hand found Elirahs, squeezing it tightly as Cyno returned to his relentless pace. 

“C-Cyno…” Kaveh whined, looking embarrassed to even be speaking his name, even though he’d been sucking off the General but moments ago. 

Cyno continued his thrusts, keeping one hand on Tighnari’s hip but reaching the other out to tuck a strand of hair behind Kaveh’s ear. 

“You’re so fucking pretty like this Kaveh, you know that?” Cyno murmurs. 

A shiver racks through the architect, and he keens, hips sputtering into Elirah once more. 

Alhaitham grins wide now—a rare sight—watching it all with rapt attention, loving the way Kaveh melts into his grip, hips keeping in rhythm with his pushing and pulling. 

Tighnari continued to moan and clutch at Elirah’s hand as if his life depended on it. Cyno kept fucking him with deep, powerful strokes as he murmured filthy nothings at Kaveh. 

Kaveh cried out one final time, his hips stilling as he filled Eli once more, the feeling driving her towards another peak for herself. 

She writhed in Alhaitham’s grasp, weak cries pulled pitifully from her chest as she gushed. The sight of both her and Kaveh must’ve set Tighnari off, because he too cried out, a particularly deep thrust of Cyno’s causing him to spray a weak splattering of cum all over his pale chest. His knot swelled half heartedly, and his eyes rolled back in his head as he seemed to lose consciousness for a moment. 

Cyno groaned as he watched it all happen, and with a final deep thrust inside his partner he climaxed. He tried to bite back his sounds, but the deeply satisfied moans were still audible even through clenched teeth. 

Kaveh collapsed onto Elirah, who weakly groaned as his softening cock slipped from her and their combined fluids rushed out of her and down her skin. Alhaitham released his hold on her, and watched affectionately as they both relaxed, the tension easing from their bodies as well as it could while they were still naked on his lap and the cold rock.

“Does Tighnari still have that really quick carrier bird?” Alhaitham said, releasing a breath he didn’t know he was holding. 

Cyno looked at him inquisitively, but nodded nonetheless. 

Alhaitham nodded in satisfaction. “Good. I need to send a message.” 

—

The moon was just peeking over the horizon as Aether found the cave. The message on Tighnari’s carrier bird was hastily written and contained just enough information to get him concerned enough to come right away. 

He’d elected to leave Paimon behind at the inn, the letter seemed like some discretion was needed, and Paimon wasn’t exactly known for her closed mouth. 

He ducked his way into the cave, following the sound of soft voices and a dull pink light to guide him. 

The scene in front of him was… a lot, to say the least. 

Kaveh laid flat on his back with his arms spread wide, shirtless in seemingly damp pants, his hair completely disheveled and stuck up in odd places. 

Tighnari was curled up in a ball in the General Mahamatra’s lap, his shorts and undershirt clinging to his damp body as he shivered, yet seemed a lot more relaxed than Kaveh. 

What really surprised him though, was the sight of Elirah being held bridal style in Alhaitham’s lap, her corset, gloves and boots piled neatly beside them as he wrapped her in his cloak, petting her hair and speaking in low tones to her. Though her eyes were closed, she had a delicate smile on her face, and Aether thought she looked rather peaceful. 

Alhaitham noticed his presence at the mouth of the cavern, and nodded him over. Aether was surprised that he didn’t shove Elirah away in order to maintain their seemingly tumultuous relationship status from outsider eyes, but he supposed that something must have changed since the last time he saw them. 

“You have the ability to use those ancient teleport waypoints, correct?” Alhaitham asked softly, as if not to wake Elirah. Aether initially thought she was just relaxing, but the steady rise and fall of her chest and slow heart rate were clear indicators that she was out cold. 

“Yes, of course.” The traveler nodded. 

“Can you, with the utmost discretion, get us to where we need to be? I’ll compensate you fairly in the morning, we just really need to get these three back to my house.” 

Aether looked at the group again, and it wasn’t just Elirah who was asleep. Kaveh looked as though his life force had been drained from him, and his eyes rolled around as he stared up at the ceiling. Tighnari was out cold like Eli, purring softly in Cyno’s arms even as he shivered every few moments. 

“Can I… can I ask what happened?” Aether blinked in the pale glow of the flowers, looking to Alhaitham for an explanation. 

“You see those flowers?” Alhaitham pointed to the soft, glowing plants behind them. 

“Don’t ever touch them. Ever. If they happen to get you with their pollen, you find one of us, or someone else you’d trust with your life and dignity, yes?”

Aether scrunched his brow, but nodded. 

Alhaitham sighed. “I’ll explain more when we get to my house, but for now, we should really move.” 

“Alright.” Aether moved to hoist Kaveh up. “Let’s get moving then.”

[sunjakes]

pancakes for dinner ; park sunghoon

pairing: classmate!sunghoon x gn!reader genre: fluff, semi slow burn, strangers to friends to lovers warnings: intended lowercase, best friend sunsun and loser hoon agenda, a teeny bit of profanity from reader n a lot from sunghoon LOL, two v short mentions of food word count: 4.5k a/n: HAPPY VERY BELATED HOON DAY AND MERRY CHRISTMAS !!! part 4/7 of my song drabble series !! this one took me a lot longer to write than i'd like to admit ... regardless of my struggle picking a song and then getting out of writers block multiple times, i really like this one and i hope yall do too !! also go listen to lizzy mcalpine her music is seriously so good :>

sunghoon had never been the best with words, and you knew that all too well. after meeting him for the first time, you entirely believed that he could've been a mute until you saw him talking to his friend - and your fellow classmate, sunoo. most people tended to be taken aback by sunghoon’s timidness, but you honestly saw it as a challenge.

something about park sunghoon intrigued you.

maybe it was how he stuttered and stumbled over his words for the first few meetings you two had, but you wanted nothing more than to make him crack. and sunghoon didn’t want to admit it to himself, but he fell for you at first glance. you made him even more nervous than he usually is in front of people.

once you and sunghoon got seated next to each other in class, you took it as your chance to put your ideas into action. you wanted to break sunghoon out of whatever shell he was in, and after a couple of weeks, you can safely say it was working. even sunoo was shocked to see the side his friend was letting out when he was around you.

you made sunghoon laugh and smile more than anyone had ever seen. watching his fang-like teeth poke out from between his lips when you made him laugh extra hard filled your chest with pride. his reputation of being someone cold and shut out was shedding more and more with each passing day. despite how the both of you were always seen as class pets, you started getting reprimanded by your professors for talking too much during lectures.

even though you and sunghoon got super close as friends in class, you didn't spend time with him much outside of it, much to sunghoon's dismay. his feelings for you started to grow exponentially, as did yours for him, but he couldn't seem to gather the confidence to actually ask you about making plans.

"sunghoon hyung, you're never gonna advance with y/n if you never try to say anything, you know.. what if they actually like you back?"

sunghoon groans at sunoo's comment, a loud thump sounding in his bedroom as his head lands against his desk. he knows that sunoo's right, but it doesn't make anything feel any easier. that 'what if' when it comes to you is exactly what's holding him back. if being friends with you is the closest sunghoon will ever be to you, he'd take it in a heartbeat.

"i know, i know... but maybe they just want to be friends. i don't want y/n to pursue me because they see me as some charity case.."

hearing a quiet scoff come from sunoo, sunghoon sits up to look at him, finding a pair of sympathetic yet intense eyes gazing at him.

"hyung, i'm not 100% sure what to say outside of this: i wish you could see them from an outsider's perspective. i don't think they took a random initiative to talk to you because they see you as some pathetic guy like you seem to think."

the response catches sunghoon off guard, and he looks at sunoo with a quizzical expression. the younger boy just sighs softly and shakes his head, standing up from his seat on sunghoon's bed. gently patting sunghoon's shoulder, sunoo begins to make his way over to the door.

"this may sound cliché and cringy, but i think you should try writing how you feel down... maybe that way, if you ever get the balls to confess to y/n, you won't trip over your words and turn into an actual charity case."

before sunghoon could even get out a syllable of a response, sunoo was out the door, and he was left alone to fester in his own thoughts. a deep sigh leaves his lips, and he has to stop himself from slamming his head against his desk again. looking to his right, he sees an empty notebook he had purchased for a class that he never ended up using.

you should try writing how you feel down…

the suggestion rings throughout sunghoon’s head, and he reaches for the book without a second thought, opening the cover as he feels his nerves flood with anxiety. picking up a pen, every single thought sunghoon has seemingly ever had about you completely flees from his mind. he stares at the empty page as if a love letter would just materialize out of nowhere and write itself. he sighs for what feels like the millionth time, his pen hovering over the paper.

"...how the fuck am i supposed to do this...?"

fighting the urge to text sunoo for advice, sunghoon starts to write the first things that pop into his head:

y/n, here's hoping you never have to read this, because i have no clue what i'm doing.. you make me crazy in the most amazing way i don't know how to describe. honestly, i never thought that you would come up and talk to me in class, but seeing you approach me for the first time made me so excited for the future. i'm so unbelievably glad you started talking to me. even though we officially met not that long ago, i feel like i can be my true self with you. i'm not scared of being mocked or judged like i am around virtually everyone else, and it just feels right. you make me feel right. just by being in class with you, everything makes sense. you barely have to move a finger to make me the happiest guy in the world, and i'm hoping that one day i'll get the opportunity to return that happiness to you. i swear your smile shines brighter than the north star, and i want to witness it for as long as i have the chance to. stay just as you are, y/n. your personality is by far the most beautiful and captivating thing about you, and it's what made me fall so hard. - park sunghoon

setting down his pen, sunghoon stares at the page he just filled, not even rereading what he wrote down. he instantly picks up his phone and sends a photo of his writing to sunoo, closing the notebook's cover so he can't look at the letter long enough to regret his decisions. he watches his message to his friend go from delivered to read, and the hesitation in sunoo's response starts to fill sunghoon with dread.

a minute or so later, sunghoon hears his phone ping, and he instantly picks it up to read sunoo's response:

"hyung, you are so down bad..."

with a loud groan. sunghoon's head drops down against his desk again, his phone falling into his lap as his arms dangle helplessly at his sides. not even bothering to actually respond to sunoo's text, sunghoon sarcastically mutters a comeback, getting up from his seat and leaving his notebook abandoned at his desk.

"you say that as if this wasn't your suggestion anyways, you dick.."

sunghoon feels ashamed to walk onto campus the next day, paranoid that you would somehow manage to find out about his impromptu love letter. his rational brain knows that sunoo is the only person who knows—and you and sunoo have barely spared a conversation with each other—but school being school, he knows how easy it is for word to spread about anything. walking into the lecture hall, a quiet sigh of relief leaves his lips when he sees that you haven't arrived yet. he makes his way over to sunoo, rolling his eyes as the younger boy playfully nudges him with his elbow.

"soooo loverboy, when are you planning to confess to them?~"

sunghoon scoffs and makes his way over to his seat, muttering a nearly inaudible "fuck off..." sunoo just chuckles at his friend’s response, setting his book bag on the floor as he sits next to sunghoon. he gently pats the older’s shoulder, noticing how he’s trying to look everywhere besides the door to the classroom.

“look, i can tell you’re worried about y/n finding out. i will swear to you now that i won’t say a single word if you don’t want me to. i would never be the type of person to snitch, anyways; you of all people should know that.”

sunghoon’s shoulders slump as he nods in understanding. a stressed sigh wracks his chest and he threads his fingers through his hair, trying to keep his composure. as if on cue, his posture shoots up pin-straight as he hears your voice approaching the room. sunoo fights back another laugh, smiling knowingly as you make your way through the door.

sunghoon tries to ignore the butterflies in his stomach when you give him that bright smile that he fell in love with so quickly. whispering a soft "i'll take that as my cue to leave..", sunoo gets up from his spot and moves to another seat in the lecture hall, and sunghoon thanks whatever higher power may exist as you take the empty seat beside him without a second thought.

"hey hoon! since it's still pretty nice out, would you wanna go to a café and get some coffee after class? we could maybe study together, and even though it may still be school-related, i wanna see you outside of this setting for once.."

you motion to your surroundings with one hand and a pout on your lips. the endearing nickname you suddenly gave to sunghoon leaves him a little love struck to the point where he almost misses your question. he prays you don't notice the red flush to his cheeks or how his gaze instantly dropped to your lips as he responds—which you absolutely did and made sure to take note of—and he nods as he tries to collect himself to answer.

“oh-uh, yeah, totally! what classes do you need to study for?”

sunghoon instantly running with the study idea left somewhat of a sour taste in both of your mouths, and you have to hide the frown that fights its way to your lips as you ramble off some random class that you know you don’t genuinely need to study for. nodding nervously, he makes eye contact with sunoo behind you—who grins, giving sunghoon a thumbs up—and starts to turn his attention to the front of the room as he sees the professor walk in.

despite the awkward tension between the two of you, your lecture passes by uneventfully. you keep trying to steal glances at sunghoon, and he must have been attempting the same thing, because your gazes met on more than one occasion. you hide a smile as you watch his ears get progressively more pink everytime your eyes meet. you stand up simultaneously as your professor dismisses you, and as you look up at sunghoon, you swear a knife could cut through the nerves you could hear thick in his voice.

"so uh, y/n... i'll meet you at the café, right?"

you look at him confused, and you watch sunghoon's face blush bright red at your reaction. without even thinking, you reach to grab his hand, and both of you feel electricity shoot up through your arms at the point of contact. sunghoon catches himself staring at the way your hands fit together, and his mind runs with want to never let go of your hand. he noticed how perfectly your hand felt in his and fought the urge to intertwine your fingers, wondering if you were feeling the same things he was.

"what you mean 'meet me,' hoon? why don't we just go together right now?"

he wordlessly nods, and you two make your way out of the lecture hall, neither of you letting go of each others hands. sunoo watches in shock, and not long after leaving the room, sunghoon's phone buzzes. he checks it with his free hand, flushing an even darker red when he sees a text from his friend reading: "im sorry .. WHAT DID I JUST WITNESS?!"

by the time you both walk into the café, you were no longer holding hands after sunghoon had gotten embarrassed by sunoo’s text. after choosing a table and setting down your bags, you move to head up to the counter but are stopped as sunghoon puts his hand on your shoulder.

“what do you want to drink? it’s on me.”

you look up to see sunghoon smiling at you, his cheeks dusted with a light shade of pink, and you’re awestruck to see the shy and timid boy you met just weeks ago slowly disappearing in front of you. he seems to notice you spacing out and says your name to get your attention again, snapping you out of your daze.

“o-oh, shit, sorry.. can you get me an iced oat latte? thank you so much, hoon.”

his smile just grows as he nods, motioning for you to sit down as he heads up to the counter to order for the both of you. you watch him in shock, trying to figure out what happened to the nervous sunghoon that practically tripped over his own words just an hour ago when you brought up the idea of coming to the café in the first place. after a few minutes, you watch sunghoon walk back over to the table with both of your drinks and some pastries, and you start to blush as he sets them down onto the table.

"i also got us some things to snack on in case you get hungry!"

you look at him and smile gratefully as he sits down, shyly mumbling a thank you as you take your drink from his hand. starting to get supplies out of his bag, sunghoon looks up at you confused when he notices you not move to do the same.

"y/n, weren't we gonna study? did you not bring anything?"

sunghoon looks at you shocked when your mood suddenly changes, sighing as you look at him with a scowl and a slight glare. setting down your drink, your frown drops and you look at him, seemingly annoyed out of nowhere, at least in sunghoon's opinion.

"park sunghoon, are you being serious right now?"

sunghoon just blinks at your question, growing more confused by the second at your sudden mood switch.

"d-did i say something wrong? what happened?"

you sigh again at his cluelessness, slightly rolling your eyes. looking at sunghoon dead in the eyes, you bluntly tell him of your intentions.

"i didn't actually mean to turn this into a study date, sunghoon. i just used that as an excuse so that i could spend time with you outside of class.. i only ever see you under those god awful flourescent lights in that stupid lecture hall, and it was actually starting to drive me insane."

sunghoon gasps softly as he hears the word date leave your lips, his mouth gaped like a fish out of water. you maintain eye contact with him while holding the same, slightly frustrated expression, and sunghoon blushes darker than you've ever seen before. you can practically hear the gears turning in his mind as he tries to take in what you said and come up with a response.

"a.. a date..?"

you can't help but laugh at his question, resting your head on the palms of your hands as you look at him.

"you really are clueless, aren't you hoon?"

successful in flustering sunghoon with your response, he breaks eye contact with you and drops his gaze to the table, awkwardly coughing and scratching the back of his neck.

"i... i was so excited at the prospect of hanging out with you in the first place that i didn't even realize you didn't actually want to study together, to be honest.."

you mimic his previous shocked expression at his sudden confession, and now it's sunghoon's turn to chuckle. he catches your attention by suddenly outstretching his hand to you across the table, and you look at him confused.

"give me your phone, i want another chance to redo this 'date' and give you the experience you actually deserve."

you blush at his statement and nod, pulling your phone out of your pocket and passing it to him. sunghoon sets his own phone down on the table and motions for you to take it, so you do, putting your number into his phone. he smiles and passes back your phone before getting up from the table, grabbing his coffee and his bag.

"text me when you get to your dorm, yeah? we can replan a better date before class tomorrow."

failing to come up with a verbal response, you nod, and sunghoon grins as he bids you goodbye, turning to make his way out of the café. you continue to sit there for a few moments, processing everything that just took place between the multitude of attitude changes and confessions from both you and sunghoon.

you open your phone to see sunghoon's contact staring back at you, and you smile widely when you see he inputted his display name as "hoon" with a penguin and heart emoji next to it. stuffing your phone into your pocket, you decide to start collecting your belongings to head back to your dorm. right as you go to head out of the café, you notice that sunghoon left the notebook he brought with him sitting on the table. you pick it up and start making your way back to your dorm room, making the mental note to text him about it and return it during tomorrow's lecture.

you had noticed that the cover of the notebook had slightly opened as you grabbed it off of the table, and seeing sunghoon's name printed on the bottom of the first page caught your attention. it looked like a sign-off to some sort of note or letter, and your curiosity got the best of you as you open the notebook's cover to read what it said in full.

y/n, here's hoping you never have to read this, because i have no clue what i'm doing..

after reading that first sentence, you had to force yourself to wait until you got back to your dorm to read the rest of it. you instantly head to your bedroom once you return, and you rushedly pull out sunghoon's notebook again, your curiousity only growing as you were desperate to find out what sunghoon had written to—or about—you in this case. opening the cover to the notebook again, you sit down on your bed and start to read.

i feel like i can be my true self with you. i'm not scared of being mocked or judged like i am around virtually everyone else, and it just feels right. you make me feel right.

you start to smile at his wording, feeling various emotions flood in your chest. holding back your tears, you gasp at the next few lines he wrote.

just by being in class with you, everything makes sense. you barely have to move a finger to make me the happiest guy in the world, and i’m hoping that one day i’ll get the opportunity to return that happiness to you. i swear your smile shines brighter than the north star, and i want to witness it for as long as i have the chance to.

you feel your cheeks heat up as you blush deeply, and the last sentence causes you to tear up, suddenly getting emotional.

your personality is by far the most beautiful and captivating thing about you, and it’s what made me fall so hard. - park sunghoon

gently tossing his notebook in front of you after closing the cover again, you fail to fight back the tears as you begin to comprehend everything you've just read. grabbing your phone, you shoot sunghoon a brief text regarding his notebook, refusing to mention its contents as you wipe the tears covering your cheeks.

“oh shit…”

hanging out with sunghoon again, sunoo's head whips to look at him at his sudden exclamation. sunghoon's face fills with dread and nervousness as he responds to your text, and sunoo looks at him confused.

"what's wrong, hyung? did something happen?"

"y/n has my notebook."

sunoo's eyebrows furrow in confusion, not understanding where the issue lies as sunghoon cards his fingers through his hair, a stressed sigh leaving his lips.

"sun.. y/n has the notebook."

as soon as sunoo makes the connection as to what sunghoon was referring to, his eyes widen, covering his mouth with his hand as if to muffle his response—to no avail.

"OH MY GOD."

sunghoon groans, his head falling back against his pillow as he covers his face with his hands. worried about how he's handling it, sunoo moves to sit on the end of sunghoon's bed, gently resting his hand on the older's leg.

"god, what if they read it..? what if they hate me now? i'm gonna have no chance now.. fuck, man, i'm seriously screwed."

"woah, woah, woah.. pause. you're running to conclusions way too fast, dude."

sunghoon lifts his head up, looking at sunoo with an expression that exudes 'are you joking right now'. sunoo rolls his eyes, nudging sunghoon's legs to the side so he can fully sit on top of the bed. looking at sunghoon with that same intense and sympathetic look from the day before, he starts to speak.

"this is exactly what i meant when i said i wish you could see y/n from a third person point of view. they way they practically beam at you? they don't do that for anyone else i've ever seen. they even basically gave you a pet name. people don't just do that for someone unless they're genuinely interested in them. if anything, you've definitely still got a shot, if not a better shot now, at actually being with them."

sunghoon just blankly stares at sunoo for a moment, not sure sunoo's telling him the truth or just saying this to make him feel better. slowly, he nods, praying that the younger boy is onto something. he sighs quietly as he sits up, running his fingers through his hair again.

"let's hope you're right.. if i just royally fucked up, i'm done for.."

it's safe to say that when you and sunghoon saw each other in class the next day, you both were extremely tense, your reasonings being on the opposite sides of the same spectrum. sunghoon was stiff as a board as you handed him his notebook back, still petrified at the mental image of you reading the equivalent of his whole heart on a sheet of paper. you, on the other hand, were still processing the answers that said paper gave to you. his mannerisms and reactions when it came to you finally made sense.

the awkward "thanks.." sunghoon muttered out left you both cringing internally, hating the sudden atmosphere change between you. there was still some time before the lecture actually started, so the two of you decided to try and talk things out and settle the tenseness. sitting down, you and sunghoon turn your chairs to face each other, and you fight the urge to reach out and touch him.

"so.. the notebook..."

sunghoon was shocked to hear you mention it first, his worst fears beginning to manifest themselves inside his head. it feels like his heart leaps into his throat, and he looks at you with wide eyes.

"look, hoon, i read what you wrote."

oh no.

even though you called him by the nickname you gave him, the one that normally makes his heart race and his face flush, he can feel the beginnings of his heart starting to shatter. he dropped his gaze to his lap, holding back his emotions from rushing to the surface. you can sense sunghoon's distress, and you decide to gently rest your hand on top of his knee. you frown slightly when he flinches, looking up at you with glassy eyes. you slightly panic seeing his current state, gently squeezing his knee.

"wait, oh my god, sunghoon, hold on. please listen to me. i read what you wrote, and i can't even start to describe how happy it made me."

sunghoon isn’t fully sure how to respond. he was constantly dreading, waiting for the “i know about it” statement to stumble its way from your lips. however, the positive acknowledgement of his unintentional confession was the last thing he ever could have expected. looking caught like a deer in headlights, sunghoon responded with the only word his mouth seemed to remember how to say.

“what?”

you sigh softly and reach for one of his hands, which he’s fiddling with in his lap. as you intertwine your fingers, you can feel your heart practically beat out of your chest, but you try your hardest to ignore your emotions for just a moment. his eyes manage to widen even further until you gently squeeze his hand, letting him relax a bit.

"i know you didn't want me to see it, and i'm sorry i did. but please, don't be embarrassed or upset at yourself, okay?"

sunghoon was still seemingly confused at what you were trying to get at. he was so set on the idea that you were going to reject him to even possibly consider you reciprocating his feelings.

"what.. what do you mean?"

sunghoon watches you smile softly and starts to feel his worry start to completely fade away. there's something to your expression that looks different to how he's ever seen you. he notices an underlying look of love in your eyes, and sunghoon can feel the beginnings of his heart racing.

"i've liked you for a while, sunghoon. genuinely. i had wanted to talk to you for a while before i finally decided to do it, and god—i'm so glad i did. you're so incredibly kind, and just being in this class with you has given me a reason to look forward to tomorrows.

the way you're looking deep into sunghoon's eyes lets him confirm that you're telling him the truth, and the smile on your face begins to grow as you watch him start to smile back. sunghoon squeezes your hand lightly, and you have to hold yourself back from pulling him out of his chair and into a tight hug. with his thoughts starting to clear, sunghoon finaly gets to ask you the question that's been replaying in his head for the past few days.

"so, how about we redo that café date after class today? i'll get you your iced oat latte again, and we won't have to do any 'studying' this time."

sunghoon smiles as you nod, and your attention turns to the front of the room as the professor walks in. you both decide to keep holding hands under the table, and you respond in a hushed whisper right before the lecture begins.

"i'd love that, hoon~"

[mysticstrawberryphantom]

Nightmarish Infatuation Part 5

A/N: Hello! Hope you lovelies are well! Who knew a full time job would take away so much of my time just like school did ): Fortunately, and unfortunately in some ways, I got COVID for the first time and had time to write. This is the second to last chapter. It’ll get a little intense, so I hope y’all like thrillers lol.

Warnings: Light gaslighting, manipulation, creepy yandere behavior (It is only for entertainment purposes, I do not condone this behavior). 

Part 4:  https://at.tumblr.com/mysticstrawberryphantom/nightmarish-infatuation-part-4/1plzrhjftfpu

Shock.

Disbelief.

Confusion.

Excitement.

A hint of offense. 

Dream-like.

All those feelings hit you more than once during Dr Crane's stay at your home. More specifically, during your first kiss with him. 

Or rather kisses. 

That shocked you the most. For a week you didn't believe that he actually had kissed you since it had been done in such an impulsive manner. Not to mention that after kissing you he just stared at you until you said his name. To which all he responded with:

-"See you tomorrow."

His stare burned into your memory and would even surface a negative bodily response when it came to your thoughts. You wouldn't call the image of the look he gave you scary, but you also wouldn't call it comforting. Something inside you wanted to run away after seeing him look hungrily at you. It wasn't even a micro expression or feeling you picked up from physical contact. It was what you saw written all over his face clearly. His eyebrows raised, eyes half lidded, and mouth curled. 

He wanted you. 

The next day you couldn't even look him in the eye. After two hours of speaking to each other while you face every wall possible, Crane suggested you take a break and return to your nurse duties for the rest of the day. 

It actually helped you a lot and you felt more at ease, that was until you were leaving the asylum and Crane was at the exit. 

-"I just wanted to see you, and wish you a good night." His eyes burned into your skin. 

You didn't need to touch him to feel his sincerity. -"Goodnight, Dr Crane." 

And that charade continued for about thirteen days. Other doctors assumed you were taking a break after the Joker, you must've gotten scared, so rightfully so, you were resting. 

It wasn't until Jonathan joined you for lunch and he spoke to you softly. 

-"May I sit here, Miss L/N?"

-"S-Sure. It's free for anyone to take." You muttered before quickly taking a bite. 

-"Miss L/N." He called out after a few minutes of silence. 

-"Hmphrrph?" Your throat croaked due to your mouth being full of food. 

-"You're making a mess." He responded while taking a napkin and wiping your mouth. You were eating a sandwich and some mustard had been taking a free ride in your bottom lip for the last minute. 

He also nonchalantly wiped some crumbs near you off the table. 

You, of course, flinched at him touching your bottom lip. 

-"You could've just told me."

-"I know, and I usually don't even care." Jonathan began. -"I acted on impulse and instincts again, I apologize." 

-"Again?"

-"Yes. Our kiss. I can tell that it has been bothering you greatly, I am sorry for causing this emotion based dilemma you are facing at the moment due to my advances." Adjusting his glasses, he finished. -"I will keep matters professional again, and will not seek you after work anymore. I even understand if you ask for a new mentor. I offended you, I should not have done that." 

-"I, uh, wouldn't go that far. I'm not offended, and I definitely don't want to change mentors."

He leaned in, expectantly interested in what you were saying carefully. 

-"Regardless - I wish you would've given me a warning or asked." You huffed while looking away so he couldn't see your embarrassed expression. 

He, in turn, chuckled internally, how could've she not known he was going to kiss her after getting close in like that? 

-"I just wasn't ready for that, is all. .. .. we both like each other, I simply wasn't expecting for us to do anything about it due to our work relation. I'm not sure if us changing our dynamic would be prudent." 

Jonathan purred in almost a muted fashion. -"You'd prefer we forget that night and continue being work colleagues?" He purposely made his face look sad, disappointed. 

-"I would, in normal circumstances, say that would be ideal. But I noticed that even though it's public knowledge, no one has changed the way they behave around us. Nor have any work interruptions, other than the ones by my hand, have occured."

Dr. Crane slid his hand so close to yours so you could feel his warmth near your skin. -"Are you-" 

-"L-let's have a trial period. I'm just worried about my studies and how much it would affect them. Not to mention if we have a fight? What would happen then?"

-"Completely understandable, Ms L/N. I concur with your logical thinking." His lips slightly curled into a smile. -"I'm glad to have you be so thoughtful to counteract my impulses. I promise I will follow suit." He then longingly looked at your lips for a moment before leaning slightly forward. 

Before you could protest, he spoke. -"May I kiss your cheek? Would you feel comfortable with that in this environment?" 

After giving it a thought, you nodded. Dr. Crane then carefully and languidly pressed his lips on your cheek, a smile soon after being felt on the same cheek. 

________________________________________________________________

It was raining. 

Not really pouring. 

Just raining.

Water was falling at a constant, relaxing rate. It was Sunday night and you were sitting at your kitchen island sipping on apple cider while reading a class assignment. "Reaching Down The Rabbit Hole." Unfortunately, this read was painful as it was interesting. Learning how diseases affected the patients depicted in the book caused thoughts of a sorrowful and aching past to dance in the back of your mind. 

Sighing, you placed the book face down, open to the page you were on. Ever since you had started dating Jonathan, thoughts like those not only had become more frequent, but also held more power to sway your mood. Before you could easily dismiss them. But now as if you had a curse, they'd linger around you. Work, home, school. Places you frequented the most. 

You got up, mildly frustrated, and walked to the window of your balcony to let your mind and eyes rest. Not that you could see much on a rainy night, but the city lights did look ethereal at times. 

And then you saw something flutter in the corner of your eye. Quickly, your hand threw the balcony door open and you jumped outside. 

-"Get out now!" You yelled as the other hand searched frantically and blindly for the broom you kept outside. -"Whoever you are!"

-"Ms. L/N, I don't mean to harm you. I just have questions." A very tall, dark figure with two spikes on top of his head and a cape that frapped alongside him as he showed himself. 

-"Batman. " You inhaled almost silently. -"H -how long have you.."

-"Not long, just got here, and need to leave soon."

-"I won't offer you anything then." You responded professionally. 

He nodded in agreement. 

-"These flowers, how long have you had them?"

-"Not long.. .. why?"

-"Who gave them to you?"

-"My boyfriend, recently."

-"You've been experiencing nightmares, or intrusive thoughts, or perhaps old hurtful memories as of late. Correct?"

You nodded hesitantly. 

-"Throw them away immediately. . .. Actually, can I take them?"

You hesitantly nodded. 

While he picked them up, he said nothing. 

-"Tell your boyfriend to change florists." He abruptly voiced loudly. -"Or break up with him." 

Confused, you grimaced. Batman, upon seeing how perturbed you felt, before jumping off the roof he nodded kindly at you. 

-"I'll be around if there's trouble again." 

And somehow, that brought you peace. 

________________________________________________________________

Monday morning after your nighttime visit with Gotham's famous vigilante seemed a little more lackluster than usual. In all honesty, these recent few weeks had been in comparison. Jonathan at first would wait for you to arrive outside of the asylum, always with a present in hand. Coffee, tea, warm hot cocoa, a pastry, flowers, a key chain, a set of pencils, etc. He'd then chastely kiss your cheek, or palm, or hand, or head. You were at work after all. He'd then always ask how you had slept and other menial things about the time you spent apart. For some reason he cared. 

He wasn't just like that when he first saw you. He was like that all day. Some would say the Doctor was quite clingy. You, somehow, didn't mind. Though at times you did have to calm him down when you'd say goodbyes. He seemed to hate them, and soon, so did you. If you weren't a psychiatrist in training, you'd probably would've fallen into some type of anxiety with attachment issues. Thankfully you both were healthy professionals, of course. Everything you did together was healthy. Crane's attachment was healthy, though clingy. 

Everyone is different.

He was pretty different. 

And that would confuse you. You thought you knew he was thinking, but it seemed the closest you got was 50/50 even with your abilities. 

These last few weeks were different and confusing.

Jonathan wasn't a clingy, excitable, puppy like boyfriend. Work suddenly had gotten intense. Research had very close deadlines now. You were second place, or less. Hated goodbyes that lasted thirty minutes now were practically non-existent. He couldn't bother to wait for you at the entrance anymore. 

Yet, he'd show up with flowers, the flowers Batman took away, and smother you with affection at home. He'd then leave and at work acted like he hadn't missed you at all. 

You were patient, however. Stress did that to people. 

-"You're early, Y/N." Dr Crane commented cheerfully, well cheerful for him, when you walked into his office. 

-"I didn't have to water the plants." You carefully said. 

-"It did rain a good amount last night, hmm?" 

-"More like Batman stole my flowers." You muttered. 

He jumped up from his desk. 

-"Batman?" His teeth chattered.

-"He told me to break up with you if you didn't find a new florist." You voiced monotonously. 

Suddenly his lean arms wrapped forcefully around your shoulders and abdomen. 

-”I am vastly glad you are safe.” He heaved slowly into your ear. -”D-did he do anything to you?” His voice shook in an uncharistic manner. 

You placed your hands over his trembling appendages. His embrace felt needy, almost an angry jealousy. Protectiveness over someone he considered a fiend. 

-”He didn’t do anything. He’s just Batman, and I’m not a criminal so-

-”I-I’ve been neglecting you recently. You were lucky last night that nothing happened. But if Batman is showing up at your residence, who else will? There’s no way I can leave you alone tonight, or the rest of these following nights at least.” 

Jonathan turned you around, still embracing you. You now perceived he wanted to keep you safe, as if you were to precious to lose now. Like it would be huge waste?

-”You’ll stay at my residence tonight.” He ordered. 

-”Excuse me?” You blurted out, blushing. -”I-I’m not ready to do that.” Your face looked away so quickly, you almost gave yourself whiplash.

-”No? Then I’ll come over to yours as always. I’ll leave early and pack.”

-”T-That’s not what I meant.” Your face now facing the ceiling, hoping the blood would leave your face. -”You don’t have to do that.”

-”I’m not taking any chances, Y/N.” He voiced sternly while his hands gripped your shoulders. -”Don’t worry, I’ll just stay with you until I know it’s safe.” His right handly delicately caressed your right cheek while he grinned, as if he was satisfied with the situation. 

-”It’s too soon.” You mumbled, defeated. 

Chuckling softly, Jonathan gripped your chin and placed a peck on your bottom lip. 

-”There’s nothing to fear when you’re with me, I’m always respectful and I’ll always protect you and your feelings.” Another kiss was planted, one that clouded your judgement. 

Nodding, you patted his chest and mentioned that you two should get to work.  

Ironically, and most certainly tragically, his presence at home, though physically comforting, did not lessen any of the anxieties you had been feeling as of late. Instead, your resting heart rate could rival that of a machine gun. You couldn’t explain why, but those nightmares worsened. You’d wake up in cold sweat, and refuse to go back to sleep. After a couple of nights, you caved in and let Jonathan share your bed, respectfully of course. That helped a little. His embrace was like a remedy, though not one that brought full recovery, just enough that you still depended on it. 

You wished it would just end. 

Jonathan Crane on the other hand wanted to live with this bliss for eternity. You were finally reacting to his fear chemicals. Little by little the same heavy doses from before were having heftier consequences on your psyche. That on its own was a treat for him, however this treat soon became a feast when you began to depend on him. His months of preparation for this moment had paid off, even if it had been excruciating for him. A simple use of the push-pull technique had left you vulnerable, wondering if you were truly important to him as he would so easily profess in your presence. 

It made you question reality.

You, of course, had put on this facade that you didn’t care, that you were understanding. It had all melted away once he spent time in the one place you knew to be your safety net. Now you needed him, even if you hadn’t realized it yet.  

His experiment was almost complete, and soon you two would be bonded irreparably and inseparably, is such a way that any separation from him would deal a heavy blow to your psyche. 

He, of course, had promised you he could never let harm come to you, so he’d always be there by your side. Dr. Jonathan Crane would be close beside you to take care of you forever.

How lucky you were to have him.

How lucky he was to have you. 

How lucky he was to have you. 

How lucky he was to have you. 

He chuckled. He loved saying that in his mind. It’s because he loved you.

You were all consuming, almost as much as his research, and yet Crane was the only one being nourished from the relationship. It fed parts of him that he didn’t know were famished. Thankfully they were beginning to be satiated now. 

Thankfully he had you. 

And no one could take you away from him, not the Warden, not Batman, not-

-”Ladies and Maniacs, this is the Joker speaking!~” A voice shrilled through the speaker system of the asylum. -”Pardon the interruption, but I just wanted all of you to know that I’m in control of the madhouse now! It was getting boring, so I thought a little party would liven things up! It’s time us patients were able to roam these halls freely with all the lovely toys we want.” 

The voice then chuckled darkly before continuing.  

-”I’d hide while you have the chance.”

[thecreelhouse]

No I totally get your feelings about the fandom because I feel the same. Idk after s3 everyone was like pretty chill and everything was good vibes. But after s4 idk maybe something about the way the season ended or simply because she show got even more popular, people are so aggressive with their theories or headcannons it's no fun. Especially when it comes to ships, first of all it seems like everyone has to be paired up with someone, regardless if it makes sense and if you don't ship Character A with Character B people will tell you you're wrong. Even the kids pairings are constantly discussed in ship wars I'm tired lol. I'm in the older part of the fandom (25+) and I see people my age or older be super invested in relationships that are between 14 year olds and it's kinda too much.

Also it could be a me problem because I simply don't ship the most popular pairings coming out from this season so I feel kinda left out because I just don't see it.

Overall I feel like the fandom is frustrated with how this season ended, especially because in the one month waiting period people came up with great theories so that the actual thing felt extremely underwhelming. (I'm talking about you, the 2 days later title card lol)

And me personally I'm a Steve girlie and the way the writers assassinated his character in the last episode (frankly throughout the entire season) kinda left me so disappointed, I don't even want to rewatch the earlier seasons. I know I'm being dramatic but we/I had three year time to come up with our own version of Steve and how his storyline could have played out, the real thing just felt like a punch to the gut. And I've seen the frustration on other Steve centric blogs which amplifies my own even more so there is this weird vibe going on rn lol.

Yeah exactly like ships should be fun and I don’t think there’s anything wrong necessarily with analyzing characters and discussing why they’d make good parings, or coming up with fun and cute headcanons, but when it becomes aggressive it’s absolutely not fun at all.

I’m sorry these weird ship wars are making you feel like you can’t be involved either, people should be allowed to enjoy their fave show without automatically having to ship their fave characters together or something. Ships aren’t the main priority!!!! And it’s weird to me how the people screaming about how Steve’s confession to Nancy is so far fetched are the ones pushing and shoving for everyone to be paired up, whether its canon or it could be or whatever. Maybe that’s just me.

Going off that, i totally do understand the disappointment based on the wack storyline Steve was given this season!!!! I personally don’t feel like it was so unrealistic— they’re all in a life or death situation, unsure if anyone will make it out alive, so ofc someone has to do a cheesy confession. Does that mean I’m for it? Nah. I was never a big fan of stancy to begin with, but again, this is all personal so I could be totally wrong! And i dont want to let the duffers off easy by being like, “they mentioned the time frozen in the upside down will play a part next season, and I personally think it’s got an influence on whatever the fuck Steve and Nancy were both feeling towards the end of vol. 2,” but….. yeah. And again, I totally don’t care for it personally. I think it’s silly, especially since last season they really gave him such a solid character growth of realizing you don’t NEED to be with someone, only to take it away with little to no explanation, but I do think there’s gonna be more to it. Of course, I could be eating my words come season 5! I could be wrong! Just what i think might happen is all but who knows.

So your frustration is so valid! Steve became a beloved character so fast and the emotional whiplash they throw him into every season is just……. Unnecessary. The general vibe most of the fandom has about this is so so so valid. It’s just weird to me how intense some folks are getting over it when to me it doesn’t seem like a major reach, but regardless, it was unnecessary for them to shove him down that path again. I adore Steve like the majority of the fandom, and I just want to see him be happy and healthy on his own and just embracing the love of the found family everyone’s come together to be. :(

As far as the ships with kids go— I’m a sucker for the sweet, cheesy moments where they show genuine care between one another, like Lucas constantly looking out for Max, especially this season. But would I go out of my way to worry about their ships, canon or not? Nah, not my thing. I’m turning 30 at the end of the year, so that shit doesn’t concern me, and would be a tad concerning imo if I was obsessed with those. Again, that could just be me, but I definitely don’t understand older fans getting like, knees deep in their ships and theories for the kids, especially when it can border inappropriate territory. Like….. y’all we got jopper this year….. can we finally obsess over that rather than be so concerned about fictional children lol.

Also the part you said about theories and said “I’m talking about you, the 2 days later title card lol”, forgive me for being airheaded but idk what that’s referring to, do you mind elaborating? Sorry if it’s something obvious and i just dont get it lol, a lot of shit goes over my head these days. I definitely feel you though on that, it got to the point where I was reading everyone’s theories on Reddit, super impressed and floored and hopeful over many of them, only to realize it…. Didn’t turn out as great as it could have been.

I’m easily amused, though, and while i definitely do not think this season was perfect, i still enjoyed majority of it, but I can so see and respect why some fans weren’t about it! And that’s ok!

I think it’s good to remember that debating (healthily) about show details, characters, etc. isn’t inherently a bad thing, but it’s gotten to the point in this fandom that everyone and their grandmother is on their high horse over shit that in the grand scheme of the show, shouldn’t matter that much to the original plot line. Or that’s how i see it, idk, but to each their own! I just wish the aggression would die down, it makes me not even want to write for Steve or anyone else for that matter, in fear of getting something wrong with a character and being crucified for it lmaooooo.

[distracteddegenerate]

Carnation

Yuta x Fem!reader

Warnings: period sex, lots of blood mentions, yandere undertones for Yuuta, TW.Dubcon if you squint I just want to be safe lol, unprotected sex, smut

Got super carried away with this one which is why it’s so long lol. I decided to combine the asks since I have got a lot for Yuta. Second anon if you’re uncomfortable with this fic which is understandable lol just shoot me another ask and I can do something else for you.

You lay curled in your bed, the sheets and pillows a mess around you, a fluffy hot water bottle cradled tightly to your front. The side of your body you laid on was beginning to ache from pressure, and you felt flush from heat, but you dared not move. You dreaded the intensifying of the stabbing pains your own body was wretchedly subjecting you to. Of course today would be the heaviest of your period, the day you had scheduled for a study session with Yuta. He was due to come over in about half an hour, and your pains were yet to ease up at all, despite the painkillers you had recently downed. You could cancel, yet, this was the first ever study session you had set up with your handsome friend, and you were loath to cancel it over something that would clear itself up eventually.

You closed your eyes, and pulled the hot water bottle you gripped like a lifeline closer to the source of your suffering.

~~~

*knock knock*

Fuuuuck. Was it that time already? You groggily sat up, releasing your water bottle and in replacement lightly pressing your hand against the throbbing pain that was starting to surge more strongly in the pit of your belly. You gently placed your feet on the ground off the side of your bed, and rose onto the balls of them just as delicately. You began your gloomy shuffle towards the entrance of your room, fixing your ruffled hair into place.

You pulled the door open on yourself slowly, croaking as Yuta’s tired but docile face materialised into view. 

“Good evening, (Name)-chan.” Yuta had his hands in his pockets and wore a kindly smile, the only thing betraying his pleasant demeanour being those familiar dark circles dusking the underside of his eyes. Dreary though they appeared, you could swear you saw a specular shimmer dance across his irises when he registered your form.

“Ah good evening to you too, Yuta! Come in and make yourself at home, I have some stuff set up on the coffee table.” You tried your best to look as perfectly in humour as you could, to not draw any attention to your current pain stricken condition. Must have been good enough, as Yuta had nodded in response and was now making his way over to nestle himself onto one of the pillows you had placed next to your make-shift study station. 

You yourself was headed to the kitchenette, about to ask what Yuta wanted to drink when a sharp stab erupted from your core. You threw your hand onto a countertop and visibly winced, when you noticed Yuta’s widened eyes had been following you. 

“(Name)! Are you okay?!” Yuta’s expression was alarmed, prepared to pounce up from his seating.

“Uh- I er uh- tripped over! Nothing to worry about!” You were blushing slightly, but righted yourself regardless and tried to stand as straight as you could. Yuta seemed slightly confused, and whilst he opened his mouth to speak you interrupted him with a casual “So what would you like to drink?” 

“Er.. I’m fine actually, I had something before I left home... actually I think you should come sit down, er, carefully.” He still looked a little concerned. You nodded your head and made your way over to his side. Settling yourself down, you could feel more pain pulsating within you, a low rumble threatening another great stab like you had experienced just. You drew your legs to your chest in an attempt to alleviate it slightly, and picked up your copy of “a comprehensive guide to the relation of curses and the law”; holding it open in front of you.

You could feel Yuta’s gaze still trained on you.

~~~

“So, although the police would have to intervene if someone was hurt or killed in the incident, sorcerers still have the right to- er - (Name)?”

Crap. You were too focused on the waves of torture oscillating in your guts to keep your attention on Yuta explaining the info that went over your head in class to you again. And he noticed. You looked up at him softly, and offered a subdued “sorry.” You didn’t really have energy to maintain your act of being fine anymore. His eyes looked concerned. You turned your head to the floor and fiddled with your hands.

“Hey, (Name).” You heard him shift and alter the positioning of his legs. “Is it that time of the month?”

What?! Who asks that like this?! 

You threw your head back up to look at him, your face red and mouth agape. He threw his hands up defensively.

“Sorry, sorry!” He hurriedly turned his gaze into the distance and rubbed the back of his neck. “I just.. I have a little sister, so I’m used to this sort of thing, or at least I know a bit more about it than other guys.” He looked back to you. “It seems like the pains at least are distracting you from your studies, if you need painkillers or something.. I can go get them for you.”

“I er...I already tried that… doesn’t work out that well for me.” Was your meek, barely audible reply. You played with the tassel of the pillow you were sat on. Yuta looked pained on your behalf.

“Y’know… I read online somewhere that there’s always something you can try out failing all else.” He caught your gaze, and held it intently. 

It must be too good to be true, how would Yuta know some hidden method that you (as someone who experienced periods) didn’t know about for dealing with the pains?! Your eager look betrayed itself when a switch flicked in your head and your expression turned into one of astonishment. There’s no way he’s gonna suggest…

“Org*sms.”

You’d known Yuta for awhile now, but you had no idea just how… artless he was. Where was his tact?! Your cheeks burned from embarrassment. You felt like your face was about to explode.

Looking at him though, he was practically unfazed! As if you were going about some matter-of-a-fact order of business. What was this situation!

“I-is.. that a joke Yuta?” Your hands were curling into tight balls. 

“Of course not, (Name). You look like you’re in so much pain. I just want to help alleviate it.”

What the hell did he mean by that? Like you will just hop up right now and go jerk yourself in the bathroom as casually as using the toilet.. Or.. could he have meant..

You felt Yuta’s hand settle on your thigh, as he leant down further towards you. “I can help you out (Name)-chan.”

You couldn’t deny, you’d always found Yuta handsome, but for things to move along this quickly… and of all times! Surely his level of straight-forwardness defied all social conventions, and yet, it was working. The feel of his hand resting on you, his hungry stare, the way he loomed over you, chest rising and falling intently. You could feel a different kind of ache emanating from your lower parts. 

His hand drifted further up your body, coming to stop just below your belly button. “I want to help you… (Name)-chan.” You looked into his dark eyes. They were intense, hungry. You could swear he was salivating. 

“B-but Yuta.. I-I’m.. You know! Isn’t that.. Gross? For you?” He shot you a sheepish grin, hiding his eyes in an evasive fashion. His hand travelled downwards once more, snaking up the inside of your loose-fitting shorts and looping his fingers over the sides of your panties. He toyed with them, rolling the cloth over your skin and lightly pulling at them. “I don’t think any part of you is gross, (Name)-chan.” His eyes flicked open again, drawing you back into his intensity. “I think every part of you is beautiful, even.” You could sense his earnestness, and it made your cheeks burn. You went to throw your hands up to them, but he quickly caught them in his. “So, what’s your answer?” He planted a kiss in your palm. “Do you want my help? (Name)-chan.” 

Fuck.. the way he looked at you. Those ferocious, hooded eyes. Those calloused hands, usually wrapped around a katana, wrapped around yours right now. The burning you felt between your legs. God yes. God, you wanted it.

The alleviation of pain (and studying) was an afterthought.

~~~

Yuta had returned back to your living space with a towel from the bathroom. What? you didn’t want to get the floor messy. You could see an erection straining tightly against his black pants. 

Fuck, you were really gonna do this. He set it down flat on the floor, and invited you to come situate yourself on it.

~~~

After removing his shirt (It was white, after all), Yuta knelt himself down in front of you. He had a certain glint in his eyes, almost conflicting the harmless smile that he also wore, as if he wasn’t about to blissfully pound your bloody c*nt into oblivion. He undid the front buckle of his pants, a bulge emerging, the explicitness of his bare dick concealed by gray underwear. He began palming at the protuberance. You eyed the display curiously, when you had a sudden realisation.

“Y-Yuta, w-what about… protection?” you asked, uneasily. 

“Hm? (Name)-chan, you’re on your period, remember? You won’t get pregnant.”

“B-but..”

He cut you off. “I don’t have anything. Trust me.”

You nodded and grunted in acknowledgement. Yuta was always a trustworthy figure for you. Your strong, reliable friend who you could always depend on. He always took care of you, even during skirmishes with curses, arriving at your side before things even had the chance to get particularly hairy.

You watch Yuta as he tilts his keeling body forward, his hands landing on your ankles before travelling upwards, spreading your legs open in the process. You feel yourself blushing once again, tossing your head to the side. You can feel the front of your damp p*nties being touched, jumping in slight surprise at the abrupt action before Yuta starts rubbing at your cl*t through the fabric. He notices your breathing falter.

“Do you like it, (Name)-chan? Do you like how it feels when I rub you there?”

You mumble a small “yes.”

He’s applying more pressure to his administrations now. “Do you want me to take your p*nties off? So I can touch you properly?”

You answer yes again, this time more hastily. 

With that, he curls his fingers over the sides of your p*nties, dragging your legs into the air as he twists his body appropriately in order to shimmy the restrictive fabric off of you. He casts them to the side, before pulling your trembling limbs back into their previous position. Once he settled them back down, he kept his hands on your thighs as he drank in the glory of your exposed c*nt quivering before him, the string of your tampon peaking out in a taunting manner.

You heard him cooing at you quietly. “Beautiful.”

You cringed, wondering if he’d still be thinking that when he’s stained with blood. Even so, you couldn’t help but melt under the feeling of his fingertips tracing circles into your inner thighs. The way you felt a thumb flick over your n*ked sex.

“Is your stomach still hurting you?” The sudden question snapped you out of your stupor.

Truth be told, you’d almost completely forgotten about your pains you were so caught up in the moment, but something held you back from saying so. As if Yuta would stop touching you if you let him know the “reason” for the two of you doing this was almost completely resolved. And, you were relishing in the tenderness of his comforting too much for it to stop.

“Y-Yes..”

Yuta bent further over you, his head looming over your core. He sunk down, his face leaning into the space of your skin where your tummy and pelvis met. He planted a light kiss there.

“Well, I’m gonna make you feel better.”

His grip on your thighs tightened as his head lifted, his presence shadowing over you once again as he held himself higher. Your heart pounded. He leaned further on your left thigh and removed his hand from the other, as you felt fingers poking at your aching heat again.

Could you feel… pulling?

You felt a horrible, obscene slick escape you suddenly when Yuta yanked out your tampon. He pinched it limply in fingers, observing it slightly before placing it on the towel you shared.

“Yuta?!” You whelped. It was ironic. The two of you were sharing an intimate moment with each other, almost completely exposed. But this? It felt somewhat... invasive.

You could sense Yuta shrugging. “It needed to come out.” Before you even had a chance to respond, you could feel him caressing your folds. He was circling his thumb over them, the peak of the eclipse swiping over your cl*t. “Don’t worry, (Name)-chan you look beautiful.”

You looked to him, but he didn’t return the gaze. His stare was boring into your most private parts, hungrily eating up the view. The calloused hand still wrapped around your leg was gripping on tightly, as you felt Yuta dip a finger into your sopping c*nt.

“Fuck.. it’s so.. wet.”

Well, that was a given you supposed. But you knew a lot of what was down there was also probably your usual feminine slick, with the way he was making you ache. He continued pumping his finger in and out, the motion becoming deeper and rougher, him gaining confidence in what you were willing to take in. You could feel your muscles strain around it.

“That’s three.”

“Wait, w-what?!”

“Three fingers, (Name)-chan. You’re drenched down here.” You felt him remove his digits, Spreading them out across your lips. You then felt him draw a line across your inner thighs that intersected your p*ssy in the middle. Was he… playing in it? You decided not to question, you were too caught up in a wanton haze, hips bucking upwards, begging for his touch to return to your most sensitive parts.

“Y-yuta..”

He looked at you and smiled sincerely. “-just need to make sure you’re nice and loose for me, (Name)-chan.” Before you could react, plunging fingers speared your weeping c*nt, pumping with violent pace. You yelped and crumpled in on yourself when you felt his fingers curl against your velvety walls, yielding against the pressure. You squirmed underneath him even more when he began spreading them, parting your insides. You hummed, laying your hand over the top of his head, entwining yourself in the strands of his hair.

He shifted into your touch. “God, love this. So fucking beautiful.”

He peered at you from beneath those dark lashes. “You think you’re ready?”

“Hm?”

“For my cock.”

At that, you nodded, releasing your grasp on his hair and trailing your hand down his chest as he straightened himself, looping his fingers over the sides of his boxers, staining it with blood. He tugged them down, his painfully erect dick springing out into open air. You found yourself surprised at the length. Yet, He was focused on you. Pointing at your top half he asked you, “Can you take all of this off?”

You nodded and complied hurriedly.

When you were done Yuta was quick, grabbing your knees to hold you in place, leaning over to plant yet another doting kiss on your body, This time in the space between your bare breasts. You felt him begin to push into you. He managed the entirety of his length, before pulling himself almost all the way out again. You noticed how he looked down, admiring the sheen of your blood now coating his member. He quickly snapped his hips back into you again, and began assuming a steady pace of rutting. Your legs found themselves wrapping around him, your ankles cross sectioning across his taught upper back. You wanted to tell him it felt good, but the most you could manage was a weak moan.

That seemed to set something off within him. He lunged over you, enveloping your entire body with his own. He planted one hand on the towel beneath you, firmly beside your head. The other found itself groping a t*t, clawing over it to pinch your hard nipple, surrounding the ar*ola with petals of red. His pace was raw and piercing, but the slight discomfort you felt was laced with a more intense pleasure.

You heard him groan. “-god.. You feel so good. Fucking you like this.. It’s just so.. primal.” He was lightly scraping his nails against you, tracing trails of scarlet down your body. You understood what he meant by that perfectly. The way he was looking down at you, almost slavering at the lips at your vulnerable form, like some wild animal lost in it’s lust.

The feeling of it, the sounds of it. It was also so expl*cit. Yet so gratifying. 

You lost yourself, allowing Yuta to abuse your lower half as he pleased, even matching your hips to his punishing motions. The l*wd squelching noises as he fucked into your excessive wetness, the way he played with your sensitive nipple at the same time, your entire being yearning into his ministrations. 

“I-I’ve always dreamt of this, (Name)-chan” You were too lost in a fucked out haze to really respond, humming lightly as you stroked the arm gripping your breast. His pace got even quicker then, rougher. His form that was already entirely draped over yours weighed down on you with even more pressure, the slap of his bucking hips against your buttox resounding loudly. It’s all too much, your legs weak when you cream his c*ck, a wave of release gushing out of you as your heat throbs wildly.

Your limbs go weak as you reel from the org*sm, your walls spasming around Yuta as he continued his bucking.

Yuta’s gaze rests on your dazed expression, his dark eyes settling over you. “You needed my c*ck didn't you?” He moves the hand that was on your bre*st to caress over your face.  “Desperately. I know you did.” 

You felt Yuta’s pace get rougher, losing it’s steady tempo as he chases closer to his climax. He thrusts into you heartily a final time before his release spills into you, closing his eyes as he rides out his orgasm out slowly and tenderly. He remains inside for sometime after, rubbing your hips with his thumb as he admires the mixture of c*m and blood streaming out of your hole and cascading down his dick. 

“Beautiful.”

He looks to your face now, smiling gently. 

“So, do you feel better now, (Name)?”

[drabbles-mc]

Spoken For

Happy Lowman x F!Reader

Part 2 can be found Here

Request by @est1887​: this is for my love happy. Y/N at a party it isn’t really her scene but she just tags along with her friend the sons are in attendance and she walking with her head down and bumps into happy and he knows her name she didn’t think anyone noticed her because she stayed to herself. Later on maybe the Same party maybe a different one someone is bothering her and she tells them her fiancé is happy “Tacoma killer” lowman lol you can do you thing of course switch it up whatever way you like thanks your the best fluffy and cute please 🥰🥰🥰 “No no no, sorry! I just-... I honestly didn’t think you even knew my name.” & “I can’t believe you told them you were my fiancé.”

Warnings: language, alcohol, skeevy men

Word Count: 1.8k

A/N: This was really fun to write! I kind of like the sort of cluelessly protective side of Happy. Like, the man does not need the details of why you need his help he is just ready to throw down on your behalf regardless. Love that for him. Hope you enjoy! xo

Join my group-chat here: (X)

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Large parties had never really been your thing. You weren’t a huge fan of the crowds and being around people you didn’t really know. Yet, somehow, your best had talked you into going to the SAMCRO clubhouse on more than one occasions for their parties. You never particularly grew to like them, but you managed to get through them. There was no way you were going to let your friend show up all by herself.

For the most part, you managed to successfully stay out of the fray. You watched the chaos unfold from the sidelines, keeping a constant eye on your friend without hovering too badly. Usually you were able to manage to make one beer last you all night, wanting to keep your wits about you.

The two of you had landed yourself in a group of the other girls who frequented the clubhouse parties. She knew them much better than you did, but they were always nice to you. Since she had a group to be with, a group that you figured would keep her safe for a few minutes, you excused yourself to step outside for a few minutes to get out of the suffocating cigarette smoke that was filling the clubhouse.

Your eyes were glued to the floor as you tried to maneuver your way through the crowd. You managed to slip through a few different groups of people mostly unnoticed, and you were about to make it to the door when someone’s shoulder collided with yours. You stumbled half a step before a hand firmly wrapped around your arm, keeping you from falling to the ground.

“Shit, I’m so—” you stopped short when you saw the person who had caught you, the person you shouldered, “Hey, Happy. Uh. Sorry, I just, I wasn’t paying attention.”

“You leaving?” he asked, completely skipping over everything you had just said.

You shook your head, “No. Just, um, just stepping outside to get some fresh air. Besides,” you nodded over towards your friend, “I’m her ride. Can’t just bail.”

“You should watch where you’re stepping around here, Y/N,” his eyes intensely searched yours, “Don’t wanna step into something you can’t get out of.”

Part of you wondered if he ever responded to anything someone actually said to him, or if he was always just moving onto the next topic. That part of your brain was drowned out, though, by the part that was taking in the fact that he had just said your name. The way it rolled off his tongue snapped you to attention, “What?”

“Said you should watch your step,” his eyes narrowed slightly, “You good?”

“Yea! Sorry. I just…I honestly didn’t think you even knew my name.”

His head tilted slightly as he processed what you had said. He shrugged his shoulders, “Well. I do.”

You chuckled, face feeling hot for a moment, “Yea, apparently,” the two of you stood there in the midst of the chaos for a few more moments before you excused yourself, “Well, I’ll see you around.”

He nodded but didn’t say anything more as he disappeared into the throws of the party. You were silently shaking your head at yourself as you finally made it outside. The music was muffled when you were on the other side of the clubhouse walls, and it gave you some much needed respite from the overload inside. You sat down at the picnic table and took a deep breath, glad to have it not taste like smoke and alcohol.

You gave yourself a few minutes of peace and quiet before forcing yourself to head back inside. Things hadn’t calmed down at all in your absence, which was mildly disappointing. But you knew that you still had a few more hours before people would start to filter out and go off in their own directions. You made your way over to the bar and ordered a drink for yourself, saying thank you to the prospect behind the bar although you weren’t sure how well he could hear you above the noise.

Your friend came bounding over to you, throwing her arm around your shoulder. She was already pretty tipsy, but she was safe and seemed like she was having a good time so you weren’t going to be a buzzkill.

“You having fun?” she asked with a huge grin on her face.

You chuckled, taking a sip of your beer before responding, “I always do.”

She leaned farther onto you, “You wanna go home, don’t you?”

You shook your head and smiled, “I don’t. Go on, have fun with the girls. If you need anything just come find me, alright?”

“You gonna sit at the bar and scope people out?”

You laughed and nodded, “It’s my favorite pastime.”

She flitted back towards the group that she had been spending her evening with and you shook your head with a laugh. You settled onto your seat, leaning back against the bar so you could watch the party unfold.

You were perfectly content and minding your own business when a man came up and approached you at the bar. You purposely didn’t look at him or acknowledge him, hoping he would take the hint and leave you alone. But of course he didn’t. They never did. You tried not to draw too much attention to yourself as you slid one of the rings on your hand over to your ring finger, hoping to add another layer of deterrent.

“Hey there, sweetheart,” his smile was too intense to be genuine.

You looked him up and down, not attempting to hide the disdain on your face. You weren’t looking to meet anyone at these parties, but whoever this guy was definitely wasn’t the kind of person you were looking to talk to. He wasn’t even wearing a kutte, and you fought the urge to roll your eyes. You had no problem being petty and picky, especially given your current company.

“My name isn’t sweetheart,” you weren’t confrontational by nature but you had no use for skeevy men.

“Then why don’t you tell me what it is?”

You turned to him and flashed him a smile, letting a beat of silence pass before saying, “It’s none of your business.”

“C’mon, it’s a party, lighten up,” he inched closer to you, “Let me buy you a drink.”

“I’m not the one you want to be doing this with,” you shook your head and nodded towards the ring on your finger, “Dealing with my fiancé is not the kind of problem you want to deal with tonight.”

He scoffed, “Some fiancé, leaving you all alone at a party like this.”

“Because he assumes that people know enough not to fuck with me,” you glanced around the clubhouse, eyes landing on Happy. A smile crossed your face as you called over to him, “Happy! C’mere!”

The color drained from the face of the man in front of you. Happy’s face was never one that was overly expressive to begin with, always mostly neutral with a touch of anger. But you could see the confusion swirling around in his eyes as he walked over. You hopped down off the stool and casually draped your arm around his waist, causing him to tense up.

“Hey, baby,” you were impressed with how easily the words fell from your lips.

His brows furrowed as he looked down at you, and then to the man standing in front of you, “What’s going on?”

You leaned against him, resting your other hand on his chest, “Nothing. I was just telling this man that if he didn’t leave me alone he’d have to answer to my fiancé, and he didn’t believe me.”

Happy’s eyes bore into the man in front of him. Without any hesitation he wrapped one arm tightly around your waist while the other reached into his kutte and pulled out his gun, pointing it directly at the man’s head. Both your eyes and the man’s went wide. He stumbled backwards a step, hands going up in surrender.

“I-I’m sorry, man. I…I didn’t know.”

“Get the fuck out,” he stepped in closer to him, gun hardly an inch from the man’s forehead, “Now.” You could tell that the man’s feet were probably just frozen to the ground out of fear, but Happy didn’t care. He tapped the end of his gun against the man’s forehead, “I’m not gonna say it again.”

That seemed to snap him out of it. He turned and all but ran towards the door of the clubhouse, not caring that he was shoving through people as he went. Happy tucked his gun back into his kutte and you instantly let your arms fall back to your sides, not wanting to push your luck even more when you had already done so.

“Sorry about that,” you said, nervously rubbing your hand on the back of your neck, “I panicked.”

“If he comes back here again, I’ll kill him.”

You laughed, but you knew that he wasn’t exaggerating, “Something tells me that it won’t end up coming to that.”

“Fiancé,” he said the word like he was unfamiliar with the sound of it.

“Hm?”

“Can’t believe you told him I’m your fiancé. Why not boyfriend?”

You chuckled and shrugged, “Like I said, I panicked. Plus, fiancé has a little more umph to it, you know?”

“Umph?”

“Yea. Umph. Like,” you saw the look on his face and shook your head, “Never mind. Thank you for getting him away from me, though. Sorry for bothering you.”

“Told you to be careful of what you get yourself into,” for the first time all night, you saw a hint of a smile on his face.

You laughed, nodding, “I know. Lucky for me, you’re around to bail me out.”

“Stay closer next time,” despite the roughness of his voice you could see the mischief in his eyes, “that way no one will talk to you in the first place.”

You smiled, “I’ll be sure to track you down.”

He nodded, “Good,” he waved to get the prospect’s attention, “Get her another beer,” he turned back to you, “Find me if you need me.”

He walked off without another word or backward glance, but you were very aware of the way his hand trailed lightly along the small of your back as he walked off. The contact was light, and brief, but you felt like your skin was on fire.

You were snapped out of your thoughts by the sound of a beer bottle clattering against the top of the bar. You flashed a smile and a nod to the young man behind the bar as you lifted the bottle. You looked around the clubhouse as you pressed the bottle to your lips, happy to see your friend still mingling and content. Immediately after, your gaze found its way to Happy who was already looking at you as he sat at the table with his brothers. One end of his mouth kicked up into a smirk as he subtly tilted his beer bottle towards you. You laughed, unable to stop smiling as you returned the gesture. The clubhouse was a lot of things, but surely it was never boring.

[shinsorokiri]

S/o Loses Memory and Quirk

Kaminari Denki HCs

Genre: Angst

Warnings: Language, violence, mentions broken bones, a panic attack, panic attack symptoms, sad Denki

A/N: Ngl writing angst for Denki did something to my little heart. He only deserves happiness and I’m mad at myself for giving him sadness lol. Anyways, I hope you enjoy! I’ll be writing one like this for All Might next so keep your eyes peeled for that one!

Shinsou, Aizawa, Hawks, and Dabi

Todoroki, Bakugou, and Kirishima

Kaminari Denki | Chargebolt

You are his partner in crime

You’re the one who is always there to take care of him when he goes dumb

You’re the one who is always there to comfort him when he feels like an idiot

You’re always the one who is there for him

And he’s always the one who is there for you

It’s been that way for years

Ever since you transferred to UA your second year of high school

The two of you became fast friends

Best friends even

And his flirty nature made it so it wasn’t too long before the two of you entered a real relationship

The two of you EXUDE the most chaotic good energy that even Bakugou finds it kind of endearing

But unbeknownst to his friends

Denki can get really fucking serious when it comes to you

It lowkey shocked you the first time you saw him act like that

And it was all because you were sparring with him and you tripped over your own damn foot and face planted 

You figured he’d just point and laugh at you but he ran over and checked you EVERYWHERE to make sure you weren’t hurt

mans even SCOLDED you

YOU WERE SCOLDED BY DENKI KAMINARI

But you lowkey LOVED it because like

Wow

He does like me !!!

Of course that was in your final year at UA

The two of you are now pro-heroes at separate agencies

And boy oh boy does Denki worry about you

He can’t help it

He has seen you run into a wall because you were trying to rely on scent instead of sight “in case you get stuck in a dark room with a villain”

He worries

But he also knows you are strong

And also a hot badass who can take on anyone

Well

Almost anyone

Midoriya could probably kick your ass but that’s just because it’s Midoriya

But in all seriousness

He isn’t even patrolling today

He has the day off actually

And Denki has never baked anything before in his life

But

He knows that there’s been this mysterious villain giving your agency some trouble recently

So he wants to make you some of your favorite cookies

Or at least try to

And then have a lil movie night

He’s a clingy little shit

And he wants to destress you so

He will refuse to let go of you for the rest of the night goddamnit!

So there he is

Taking the semi-burnt but still edible cookies out of the oven

His favorite program on in the background

When suddenly

His show gets interrupted

And the hero scanner the two of you have goes off in your living room

He immediately turns his attention to the television

Stopping in the middle of the kitchen 

Still holding the cookies

When he sees live footage of you falling from a 3 story building

Onto concrete

He drops the pan

And literally sprints out of the door

He doesn’t even have shoes on

But he doesn’t give a single Fuck™

He rushes down the stairs of the apartment building the two of you live in

And gets to his car in record time

Mans be speeding to the hospital he knows you’re gonna be at

You two had a plan in place with each other and your agencies that if anything would happen to either of you

You would both go to this specific hospital so you two could know where the other was at all times

Of course he was crying while speeding

And his heart rate was way too fast for him to be functioning

But he had to get to you

He had to

And he did

He pulled into a parking spot reserved for pro-heroes and ran inside the emergency room

When he asked about you the nurse told him you were currently in surgery for some severe bone breaks

He got a nasty taste in his mouth

But he just nodded

She told him he could wait in the waiting room

And he did

He sat down in a chair

And he was trying so hard to keep it together

So 

SO

Hard

But eventually Kirishima, Mina, Sero, and even Bakugou showed up

To be fair

Mina and you did work at the same agency

So she saw everything that happened

They immediately went over to him

And he looked up at Mina

And deadass this is the first time any of them see how genuinely serious Denki can get

He asks Mina what happened

And she hesitates

But his face is dead serious

There are obviously tears leaking out of his eyes

But his stare is wildly intense

And Mina knows that if she says no he’ll just keep asking or ask someone else at the agency

So she tells him

“Well… we were patrolling, like usual, when that villain that’s been keeping us on our toes showed up. They’ve never… done anything other than rob people and knock them out so we thought hey this should be easy. Especially since (Y/n) was there. When they saw us they ran into a building and we chased after them and when we had them cornered on the roof they did this weird… sneak attack? But not really? I don’t know it was… odd, they had this like patterned fight technique and they hit (Y/n) in a few different places, and she went to use her quirk to fight back but… nothing happened… and then they hit her like at the bottom of her skull and she just… fell down unconscious. And then they… threw her… off…”

She started trailing off at the end because a sob tore through Denki’s throat

And then he started hyperventilating

Luckily Bakugou and Kirishima were there to help him out

They get panic attacks frequently, so they managed to calm him down and get him to breathe again

And they stayed with him for as long as they had to

Eventually after hours 

A doctor came out and approached Denki

“Pro Hero Chargebolt?”

He stands up very fast

He’s informed that you are out of surgery

And that the surgery went well

However they noticed something odd in your MRI results

It seemed that a portion of your brain was damaged?

But not quite 

It was still functioning

But something about it was off

And they had never seen anything like it before

It was like certain parts of your brain were blocked but everything else was fine

Upon hearing this Denki’s heart broke

And then after hearing the part of your brain that was impacted was the part that contained long term memories

His heart shattered

“We’re afraid she may have severe amnesia. We’re going to keep running tests to see just what is going on, we think it’s the quirk of that villain. A lot of the victims of their crimes have blockages in their muscle groups, but we’ve never seen a blockage in the brain from them.”

Denki is quiet

He literally doesn’t say anything

Until he whispers

“Can i see her?”

The doctor nods

And he leads him to your room

You’re still asleep 

And you’re covered in bandages and casts

It breaks his heart

His friends texted him to tell him they went home but if he needs them at any minute that they will be on their way to the hospital in ten seconds flat

He appreciates it

But right now he really just wanted to be alone with you

He just sat next to you

Holding your hand

He was even moving your pointer finger to trace the Lichtenberg Figures trailing up and down his arms

You always do it when the two of you are cuddling at night 

It helps him sleep

And reminds him that you love him regardless of his faults

And right now he just

He really needs you

This goes on for an hour before he feels you start to move

And he freezes

“(Y/n?”

You open your eyes

And squint at him

“Uh… h-hi… aren’t you that guy in my new class…?”

He stares at you

Completely deadpan

Before laughing a bit

But it isn’t a happy laugh

It’s very much a sad laugh

“Yeah. Yeah, I am.”

“Cool, but um… how did you know my name already?… Are you crying?”

Yes

He was

He was laughing and crying at the same time

He probably looked like he was losing his mind

But he really did just lose his whole world so

It’s a prompted reaction

“Yeah. Yeah, I am.”

His voice was more strained this time

“Are you… are you okay?”

“Yeah, but you’re not. And I didn’t save you, and now you don’t know who I am, and I’m just… I’m so sorry, babe. I’m so sorry.”

The laughing stopped

Now he’s just sobbing

In your mind

You’d seen him a few times while touring the school

And he was always laughing and smiling

Always

So this was shocking

And you’d be lying if you said it didn’t tug on your heart strings

You instinctively reach out to grab his hand

And he grips onto it so tight

Almost like he’s afraid of letting go

“…You called me babe?”

He tries to even his breathing

But he nods

“I don’t… I don’t even know you, I-”

“You do. You do, but… you don’t. It’s… it’s complicated and I’m a literal dumbass so… I’ll call a doctor. They’ll explain.”

And that he does

And the doctor does in fact explain

And after the doctor leaves

You ask him to tell you about your relationship

And he does

He tells you even the smallest details

From the time that you painted the nail on his right hand middle finger pink because he lost a bet and he ended up liking it and buying nail polish for himself

To the time that you two told everyone you break danced all night to break in your new apartment when in reality he turned on Lover by Taylor Swift and the two of you slow danced in your living room

All of it

And he even managed to slip in the fact that you’d remember all of this after he caught the villain who did this to you

And he will catch them.

[petite-ely]

Afraid // JJ Maybank

five - but what if?

Pairing: JJ Maybank x fem routledge! reader

Warnings: bad language (don’t swear kids), mention of drowning, mention of death, nightmares, mention of guns, mention of fight, did I miss something.

Description: after his reckless actions at the party, JJ is unable to sleep but he isn’t the only one still awake.

A/n : I don’t want to make this longer than it already is, I think I’ve talked enough lol. If for some reason you want to know why I’ve been gone for so long I’ve written a post regarding it. Sorry again for not posting in so long. If you want to chat, feel free to reach out. I’m friendly. :) please kindly tell me if I’ve made some mistakes, I’ve reread this like a hundred times but its possible some mistakes slipped.

Previously next

Afraid masterlist

Gif by @cobrazkai

Song recommendation

JJ Maybank was 14 years old when he first realized that he had feelings for one of his best friends. The thing is he didn’t know what the hell those feelings were. He had always thought that y/n was really pretty and he considered her to be one of her closest friends and that was it. Friends- that’s what they were.

But after years of friendship and wild adventures and basically hanging out 24/7, something felt different. And boy, did that scare him.

JJ was not the kind of person to be really in touch with his emotions. Being abandoned by his own mother and living with an abusive alcoholic father didn’t really help either. If anything, his past traumas only made him more disconnected from his emotions and feelings.

He might’ve been hot headed and impulsive but that didn’t stop him from feeling things, often even too deeply. The issue was naming the emotions he was feeling. He didn’t know what he was feeling like half of the time. So when it came to y/n, his feelings for her were so intense and unknown. He had never felt this way for anyone before. He was so confused.

Being around her felt weirdly homely and yet, he never really had a real home to come to. For him, it was only a house. It was a building with things he wasn’t really attached to and a man he couldn’t really call a father, despite DNA saying otherwise. Being with her felt warm and golden and it was like a drug he couldn’t say no to. He was constantly looking for ways to feel this specific way. It was euphoric. But he only felt this way when he was around her. And it felt like home.

She was the home he wanted to come to every freaking night. And he wanted to dance with her and have night long discussion and caress her cheeks tenderly. He wanted to kiss her more than anything else, his lips on hers staying that way until one of them needed to take a breath - oh what heavenly feeling that must be. He wanted to proclaim his feelings to the entire island - the entire world even.

Only he couldn’t. There was this rule, and he couldn’t break it. Usually, he wasn’t the kind of person to let rules determine what he should and shouldn’t do. But it was the pogue rules, he couldn’t break them. He couldn’t do that to his friends, regardless of his own feelings.

Love. That’s what his feelings were. It took him some time to realize it, but yeah, it was love. He was certain of it (which was rare for JJ). A first love, innocent, deep and one sided. At least that’s what he thought. How could she love him? How could anyone love him when even his own father didn’t? Who would want him?

Now, JJ had messed, big time.

He was sitting beneath a tree, at the edge of the yard whims the château, a few feet away from where the water started. His gaze was turned towards the sunrise though he wasn’t really looking at the magnificent show of colours that nature was offering him. He was thinking or more like regretting.

He kept replaying the event that had happened just a few hours ago on the boneyard again and again in his mind. The arrogance on John B’s face while he taunted the kooks, the empty, psychotic look on Topper’s face while he was holding J.B’s head underwater, his own hand holding the gun against Topper’s head. It felt so powerful at the moment and yet in retrospect he felt so stupid. What would he have done if something had actually happened, if someone had gotten hurt because of him?

In the spur of the moment, he hadn’t thought about it really much. How crazy it actually was. He saw his friend in a situation where he could actually die and only thought about helping him. He had this thing with him that could help save him, an object that take could take someone’s life in the matter of seconds. So he used it at his advantage. He had only wanted to help, but at what cost.

He kept picturing the expression on y/n’s face when he got the gun out. It wasn’t anger, no it was much worse, she was terrified. She had actually been scared of him. How could he ever make up for that. How he could he ever admit what he was feeling for her after he had brought her such terror. He had ruined everything.

What if she never forgot that moment? What if she never forgave him?

A branch cracked somewhere in the distance, and JJ turned to face whoever, or whatever, was lurking in the dark. He was blinded by the bright artificial light of a flashlight. “JJ?” A voice spoke and the blond immediately recognized it. Y/n.

“Can you please turn it off, I don’t think it’s necessary,” he responded, motioning to the clarity that brought the sunrise. It was light enough for them to fully see one another.

“Oh, yeah, sorry, “-she sat down beside him- “Couldn’t sleep?” JJ stared at her for a moment before taking his eyes away.

“Yeah, you could say that. What about you? John B snoring too loud?” Y/n gave a small laugh.

“Um, no, not this time.” Her smile went down. “I had a nightmare.” JJ’s brows furrowed.

“Not about um, not about tonight right?” He asked, guilt hidden in the tremors of his voice.

Images of the past night filled y/n’s mind. Her brother being held under water, JJ pulling the gun out, the loud echoing sound of the firearm as it shot in the air. She could still hear it ringing slightly in her ears.

A small moment went by before she finally shook her head in denial, earning a small sigh of relief from the blond (at least that wasn’t his fault, he already felt guilty for so many things). “No, uh, no it wasn’t that,” she said, her voice barely audible.

JJ stared at her face in the golden light of this early morning. He noticed the blank stare in her eyes and frowned. Nightmares, although worrying for most people, were pretty common for y/n. JJ of course knew this, yet something felt odd.

He rested his hand on the small part of her back between her shoulder blades. “Do you want to talk about it?” She turned her head to meet his eyes, the feeling of his skin, warm and soft against hers sending small tingles at the base of her neck.

She didn’t want to bother him with her problems, she knew how horrible his home life was compared to what she was living. She didn’t want to remind him of this not make him feel bad about her small problems when he was facing such violence on a daily basis. Still, she knew JJ and talking about his dad was the last thing he wanted to do. And his eyes, his beautiful ocean blue eyes, it’s like they could see through her. How could she lie to him?

“I, uh I-I-“ his hand went to her shoulder and he squeezed it reassuringly. “You don’t have to tell me, if you don’t want to.” Y/n felt her cheeks burning (hopefully he didn’t notice it). She took a moment to breathe in deeply the fresh air, calming herself slightly before putting her hand on his.

“No, I-I want to. I think it’ll help, in a way.” JJ cracked a sweet smile. “Alright then.”

“I keep having this one dream about my dad and I see him on his boat wandering. He’s lost in the middle of the ocean and he’s calling my name.” Saying those words, she really felt as though she could hear her father calling her name in the far distance, as if he was right beside her. Sadly, it was only her imagination playing tricks on her.

“And it keeps turning to this nightmare, where he dies in various horrible ways. Either drowned or starved or eaten by sharks.” JJ’s gaze softened, his eyes admiring her lips forming each words one after the other. “But tonight-“ she let go of his hand, shifting her body to face him completely, “-tonight, for a reason, I didn’t see him.”

“The boat was empty.”

Flashes of her nightmare came back to her like waves crashing on the beach. Her dad on his boat, a smile sketched on his lips. The sky is clear blue, not a cloud is in sight. There’s a warm breeze, she can almost feel it on her skin, and the sun is shining. It’s almost utopian, the perfect day to spend out in the sea.

Then the scene changes. The sky darkens to a deeper shade of blue, grey clouds towering the ocean. The wind is stronger, much stronger. It whistles as it makes its way in the crevices between each tree and threatens to tear the sails down. And the boat, she can see it floating hauntingly on the wild waves the same way a ghost would in abandoned castle. And there’s no trace of her father. Not even a feeling, that would tell her he’s there, trying to survive this storm.

“What if he really is gone J? What if my dad-“ she stopped her sentence to look at the horizon, somehow hoping to see a sign that would prove she was wrong. “I’m trying so hard to be positive and optimistic, but it’s been so long. What if he never comes back?”

The look in her eyes was heart-wrenching. JJ didn’t know what to say or do. He never really thought about it. What would happen if Big John was gone. To be honest he didn’t want to, that man was more of father to him than his own ever was. And losing him would be... he preferred not to think about it.

“I disagree,” he finally said. “What?” “Your dad is like one of the smartest person I’ve ever known. I think that, he, of all people would know how to get out of any situation, especially if it seems impossible to everyone else. I don’t think that you should give up on him yet.”

“You really think so?”

“Yes, I do,” he smiled. “So fuck everyone who tells you otherwise,“ y/n giggled. “Fuck all of them! You’re allowed to have hope, y/n, even after this much time. They can’t take that from you.”

“In the meantime, we’ll there’s us,” us, “the pogues, our own family. We can get through anything, right?”

“Yeah, we can.” Y/n’s head fell on his shoulder. “We’re the pogues.”

JJ admired her carefully. How her face looked, basked in the golden rays of the sun, looking so terribly tired and yet so beautiful. He could stay like this forever, losing himself completely in her smile. God she was so wonderful.

“Hey y/n/n?” “Yeah?” “Are you mad at me?” “Huh?”

“Why would I be ma- oh, oh.” The gun. He thought she was mad at him for what he did. Though he saved her brother, didn’t he? So, she didn’t understand why he would think she could hate him.

“It’s just that you looked so terrified when-” “You saved him JJ, that’s what matters most.” Y/n interrupted the boy mid sentence, placing her hand on his arm in gratitude. “If you hadn’t done anything, he could have...” she didn’t finish her sentence.

When she saw JJ holding the firearm against Topper’s head just a few hours ago, she had first been incredibly shocked. She didn’t recognize the JJ she knew. But now, she completely understood. It was his way of protecting his friends, his way of showing he cared. And that, she admired him for it. Though he could’ve shown it in a less dangerous way.

“I admit,” she added, “it was dangerous and a bit scary to see and we’re probably gonna get some kind of revenge from the kooks soon, but no one got hurt. And J.B, well he’s okay! We’re all okay!”

“Also, I’m pretty sure I did some very, very stupid things last night, so I can’t really be mad at you,” she cringed remembering the amount of alcohol influenced things she had said and done during the party. “God, I must have looked so ridiculous.”

JJ laughed at her comment. “Yes, yes you did.” “Man, John B was right, I can’t believe I’m saying this.”

“Can you just promise me something?” Asked y/n, once their laughter had died. “Depends what?”

“Promise me you’ll never hurt yourself with that thing, or anyone else for that matter.”

“I promise, y/n. ”

“Thank you.”

Taglist

@deionswannabegirl @kaelyn-lobrutto24 @poguestyle17 @im-a-stranger-thing @lasnaro @thoughtsofthestars @briandaflores19 @lunaposey @allycat449-blog @ifilwtmfc @kitty084 @coloradogirl07 @ponyboys-sunsets @chaoticbisous @p0gue420 @sloaneemily

If I forgot you or if you wanna be added/removed just tell me! Also I’m sorry if your name didn’t work :/

[himbeaux-on-ice]

Hello! I was wondering if you could please explain to me what Robin Lehner said yesterday about vaccination and competitive edge? English isn't my 1st language and from what I gathered NHL and PA promised VGK that if they get vaccinated the restrictions on them will lessen and they can freely leave their houses. And when they players got vaccines, NHL changed their promise and said players can't do that until all of the teams across the league are evenly vaccinated (shitty move from NHL, 1/2

2/2 as always). But what did Robin mean talking about competitive edge? I rewatched the video 3 times and I still don't understand :( Did the league make it a competition between the teams? "The sooner you all get vaccinated, the sooner there'll be no resctions on you?" I hope, I'm not completely missing the point, sorry about that. Big respect for Robin for speaking up and calling out the league. I'm really happy seeing players speaking up for themselves and their teams

Hi anon! I’ve spoken about this already a bit here and here, in case you haven’t seen those yet and think they might answer some of your questions. But I’m happy to elaborate further! I hope I can clear this up for you.

First, just as a note: Right now it doesn’t seem to exactly be clear what the NHL and NHLPA did or didn’t promise players in terms of easing restrictions, but it seems like Lehner was definitely given the impression by somebody that a team getting fully or mostly vaccinated was the ticket to not being under such strict isolation. The NHL for their part seems to be claiming they promised no such thing, but it’s hard to know right now whether that’s just them covering ass, or if there was just a misunderstanding somewhere in which what they actually said was not fully clear to the players. [Elliotte Friedman voice] More news may be yet to come on this.

Right. So as far as “competitive edge” goes, I can definitely explain that. You’re only a little off the mark. What he means in this case is that the NHL is concerned that letting more fully vaccinated teams live under a less intensely restrictive set of internal rules (regarding things like dining together, exercising together, sitting next to each other on planes and busses, having more group off-ice social time, sharing hotel rooms, having in-person coaching meetings again, etc) will lead to that group having an on-ice advantage in their play over other teams who are less vaccinated and still have to live under full restrictions.

Because the NHL is intensely obsessed with “parity of sport” (trying to make the conditions of competition the same for all teams regardless of outside factors wherever possible), they always in as many situations as possible want to eliminate any potential leg up one team could have over others. This is why we have things like the salary cap, rules about scouting players, rules about how draft picks are distributed that try to make sure struggling teams have a chance to draft well, rules against signing your best players for 20-year contracts so nobody else can have them, etc.

In general theory, being parity-oriented is good! It aims to make sure that the success of teams on the ice and in the standings is determined by the hockey play/skill alone as much as possible, not by franchise wealth or other things they did to get an unfair jump on the competition. And that should make the games more fun and less boring/predictable in most cases! As far as sports leagues go, the NHL has pretty good parity of play overall — there are only a few REALLY good teams and only a few REALLY bad ones, and everybody else performs within a pretty similar range most years. This is why back-to-back Cup wins are so rare in the current era, because due to all the rules to enforce parity there are relatively few teams that are THAT dominant over the competition for a long stretch of multiple seasons in a row, and the odds of any given team winning each year are much more similar. (As compared to like that period in the late 70’s when it was like “who won the Cup? oh surprise surprise it’s the Habs AGAIN 🙄” lol).

However, sometimes the NHL gets unrealistic in its pursuit of making sure everything is exactly the same for all teams. We’ve seen it already this season with the stubborn insistence on making sure the Canucks play a full 56 game season like everybody else, regardless of whether it is safe or reasonable to do so in the time they have left.

This time, the fixation on parity seems to be rearing its head in the form of the League insisting that even if a team has most or all of their players and staff vaccinated, they still have to maintain the same intense restrictions within team spaces as other teams which may be WAY further behind in getting everyone vaccinated, rather than getting to benefit from the lowered risk that being thoroughly vaccinated brings within a closed group like that. And they seem to be insisting on this not because it would be unsafe to change things for vaccinated teams, but rather because of concern that doing so might make that team perform better as a hockey team.

That’s the key part here: The NHL seems to consider getting to (safely) return to a mode of team life that is somewhat more similar to what these guys have been habitually used to pre-pandemic, to be something that could translate into an unfair on-ice advantage in the quality of their play, over other teams who are still doing it all “the hard way” under strict restrictions because they haven’t been vaccinated yet. And because of trying for parity, they want avoid giving teams that “advantage” by basing restriction changes around each team’s individual situation, and instead plan to ease restrictions for all teams at the same time at some point once all teams are similar levels of vaccinated.

Now, US teams seem to be getting vaccinated faster and faster every day, but Canadian teams probably have not started vaccinating their players or any team employees under age 50 at all yet, because Canada’s vaccination process has been painfully slow. So waiting on them to catch up could leave US teams who are already mostly/fully vaccinated still stuck in those restrictive mentally draining conditions for quite some time before the other teams catch up — again, not because it isn’t COVID safe to ease their restrictions if done properly (that doesn’t seem to be a problem), but because the League sees the improvements to their mental state and team morale/cohesion that would come from living a less restricted life together and getting to return to familiar off-ice hockey routines as gaining a “competitive edge” over unvaccinated teams, which would lead to them playing better hockey to a level that can’t be matched as a result.

Which, Lehner is right, is a pretty fucked up way to look at it! “It’s an unfair advantage for you to not be miserably alone and depressed by that and frustrated and doing everything with 16 extra steps you’re still not used to, it’s an unfair advantage to get to actually act like a team off the ice when playing a team sport, so no, we’re not gonna let you eat lunch together or share hotel rooms or whatever” is not exactly a compassionate argument!

Anon I’m also really glad Robin said something about it, and I was glad to see VGK captain Mark Stone put full and vocal team support behind him when asked about it last night on the broadcast too. The mental price of these intense restrictions is something that has been weighing on my mind ever since I first heard they would have to spend all their time on the road locked in hotel rooms alone when not playing and thought “oh god, five months of that is going to be psychologically devastating”. It’s a relief to hear it acknowledged.

I’m not fully sure what the best solution is here, but that mental wellbeing factor absolutely must be discussed in all decisions. It would be fucked up if the League is treating that as something purely technical to be controlled like the salary cap, rather than as a key determinant of health and life (in the short and long term) that is just as important as COVID safety. The old hockey culture of “just suck it up” cannot cut it anymore.

Aside: I think it’s also worth mentioning while we’re here, that I think I do understand why players may be angry about have been talked into getting the vaccine because they thought it would lead to eased personal restrictions, and why I don’t believe that anger necessarily represents an “anti-vaxx” mindset. There are reasons they may not have planned on getting vaccinated just yet which aren’t necessarily “anti-vaxx” cult thinking (though that doesn’t mean they’re smart reasons lol) and would likely seem reasonable to players in-context. I’m gonna put that under a cut though bc this is already really long!

First, there’s the fact that we don’t know what medical conditions some players may or may not have which could make them hesitant to get some of the vaccines out of an abundance of caution. More prominently you also gotta remember, these guys are athletes currently competing their way through an extremely intense and extremely important part of the season as they try to secure playoff spots, playing sometimes as many as 4 games a week. Looking at it that way, it’s understandable why some of them would be hesitant about getting a shot at this particular time which we all know is going to whammy you with a nasty little bout of mild-moderate side effects that hit you like a bad cold for as much as a week. They probably don’t feel they can afford to be laid up with muscle aches, sinus suffering, fatigue, and all the other little fun (and eventually harmless in the end!) things that your body runs through while activating that initial immune response — because in the couple of days that it throws them off for, their team could play 3 or more REALLY important playoff-clinching games, which they could end up underperforming in or having to sit out.

If that is the situation you’re in, and you already feel like the current League restrictions are doing enough to protect you, you can see why you would say “I think I’ll wait and get it during the offseason/during the week break between regular season and playoffs, and just suck it up for these last few weeks dealing with the same ol lonely isolation restrictions I’ve already gotten used to dealing with all season long, rather than be hit with that curveball of possible temporary vaccine side-effects during this time when I need to give it my all every game.” That may sound like a selfish mindset, but I wouldn’t be surprised if that is how at least some of these athletes are approaching it, especially ones who may be single guys without families at home to worry about protecting. (Lehner, for the record, has a wife and two young kids).

BUT, if the League told you (or it sounded like the League told you) “Hey, if enough of your team gets vaccinated quickly, we’ll be able to lift some of the internal restrictions for you guys and let you like hang out and do stuff together within the team again”, and if you were REALLY struggling with the mental stress of that isolated living style, you might weigh the two options against each other and say “Okay, I’m willing to power through a week of potential side-effects and get vaccinated with the fellas if it means I won’t have to be so goddamn miserable and depressed every day.” and then you get the shot(s).

And if you did that, and THEN the League said “lol no, even though your team is fully immunized you still have to sit in your room alone every night and eat by yourself and not leave your house, because it’s not fair to other teams if you guys are no longer mentally miserable like them”, well now you find yourself in the worst of both worlds — still stuck in isolation, AND you’ve still got to play through all the potential vaccine side-effects that will leave you a little off your game during some of the most crucial games of the year.

Plus, that leaves you not feeling like you got to give informed consent — you agreed to get vaccinated (ie undergo a medical treatment) under the expectation that there would be certain rewards to be gained in terms of relief for your mental health, which made you decide it was worth the potential dent in your performance for a few games and any other worries you had about the vaccine, because the prospect of that relief was so worth it. And now, you are told by the League “that payoff you expected never existed, we never promised that, what are you talking about? we can’t change things for your mental health because that might make you better at hockey than the depressed unvaccinated teams”. I can understand how that turn of events could leave someone, as Robin expressed, feeling like they were “tricked” or “forced” into making a choice that they may have done differently otherwise. They felt that they were promised something in return that they didn’t get.

Note at the end of all this: Again, we still don’t know whether the NHL and NHLPA actually made any promises, or if they simply weren’t clear enough in communicating expectations to teams and the players misunderstood what was said to mean something else. Regardless, using the idea that being freed from having to be miserably isolated to an even greater degree than most of the US general public is an “unfair competitive advantage” to now justify not allowing reasonable adjustments to the restrictions for fully vaccinated teams is fucked up, and treats mental wellbeing as just another gameplay-impacting factor to be controlled rather than a deeply impactful part of a person’s overall wellbeing which can even threaten their life. The players must be treated as people.

[closer-stars]

Gut Feeling (4)

Member: San Genre: Angst???? Just a lot of discomfort and tension tbh Word Count: 12k (what the actual--) Requested: Yes Content: Like what I said, lots of discomfort in this. Anyways yay tension. Food mention bec people need to eat. Idol life is messy as heck. :flashes a peace sign through the stress: Also roughly around last few weeks of inception going thanxx promotions lmao  Note: One month later, Part 4 is here. Apologies for the late delivery, my mental health really took a dive with everything happening lately. Things are kind of looking up but not entirely. Also this idea really marinated in my head that’s why it’s so long... So much you could do with this prompt tbh. TY to @hwaberrykiwi @yeocult @yeochikin and @barsformars for dealing with out of the blue messages regarding this fic when I was writing-- disregarding the weeks long silence from me.... hahah ily i’ll link the previous parts after a day just so this could appear in the tags lol

Part 3

The past few days have been quiet. Nothing came up between the two of you since that night. Nothing came up but things have quieted down. You can only suppose that it’s because of how exhausting it has been. At least that’s what you think when you try to rationalize it to the strained schedules getting to him now. That’s the only way you’ve been able to keep yourself together in front of everyone, by rationalizing everything that feels off with exhaustion. 

It works to a degree. The makeup covers up the lack of sleep beneath their eyes but it can’t add to the needed sparkle in their eyes. That’s where the ring lights come in. Everything physical can be fixed with makeup and lighting, that’s what the industry does. But emotional? That’s another thing altogether. 

Things were technically smooth sailing despite the chaos. You still go home late, just not for the usual reasons. You still go home late when the members stay late in the studio but that isn’t often at this point. They’re still human, they need rest. On the other hand, Hongjoong still goes to the studio though not to the point where Seonghwa has to pester him to go home. You bring Hongjoong home often now. During this leg of promotions, it’s Yoon who brings them to the first half of their schedules, Bae brings them to the second half-- it’s not easy waking up at 4am just to bring eight boys to their schedules. You’re in charge when it comes to the late night schedules. At least this way, you don’t have to talk to them since they’re too worn from the day’s activities. 

Hongjoong sits on the passenger seat next to you, busy eating the dinner you had bought for him. The ride home is quiet, just him munching on his much needed meal and the ice cubes in your respective drinks. 

“Manager-nim?” He speaks up carefully. 

You hum in response, still not tearing your eyes away from the road. 

“Has San been okay?” 

That catches you off guard for a moment. “As far as I know, yes? Did something happen?” Something that didn’t revolve around _that_. 

He sips on his coffee for a moment, mulling over your words. “He’s just been in his head more often nowadays, I thought he might have talked to you about what’s on his mind.” He reasons softly against the lid of his cup. Now he’s not the type to force his members to talk to him about their issues, they do have a day where they gather and talk about concerns from the past week and the upcoming week. Despite that, there are some worries that can’t wait for the weekly session. 

You hum in thought. That’s not good. “He hasn’t told me anything.” You return. How can he? He’s often at the farthest end of the car, slumped over catching up on rest. “Is there something I need to be aware of, Hongjoong?” 

Your words cause him to laugh thoughtfully. “You’d think because I’m the leader, I’d know what’s on their minds…” He starts. “I don’t know what’s on his mind, much less know what could have happened. If he does tell you something that I might need to know...” He trails off, but you understand where he’s trying to get. 

“I know.” You return gently. You had your doubts that he’d talk about it, especially to you. “Don’t push yourself too hard on it regardless. Though, I do think he talks to Seonghwa or Wooyoung about these kinds of stuff doesn’t he?”

“That’s true.” You can tell that the air in the car has eased a little and with that the rest of the drive has turned quiet. 

Upon arriving home, Hongjoong slides off his seat, rearranging his things. Considering the two of you lived in the same building, it was still the two of you on the way up. Perhaps San learned this habit from his hyungs? 

Now that you think of it, you wonder how San has been. You know how tired he is when there’s no cameras around but still he gives so much for the team.

“Manager-nim?” He says carefully while the two of you wait for the elevator to bring you to your designated floors. You respond with a soft hum. “If the boys start to act up, please tell me. I know you’re the manager but sometimes they get too much to handle, I can keep them in line too.” His words cause the corner of your lips to quirk upwards, touched by his worry. 

“It’s okay, Hongjoong. I can still handle you boys.” You tease lightly as you shake off his concern lightly. When the elevator alerts the two of you that you had arrived at his floor, that’s when he realizes that you didn’t press your floor number.

“Hey--!” It’s moments like this that remind you that they’re the youngest in their families. At his complaint, you shoo him off.

“Come on, Hongjoong. You need your rest more than I do.” You wave him off, chuckling at his shocked expression. Maybe being someone who works behind the scenes had its perks even outside the work environment. He pouts at you, unable to argue and he bids you good night, thanking you for the safe trip. 

--------

He arrives at the dorm, which was mostly peaceful save for the frantic clicking of the mouse and keyboard tapping. At least there wasn’t much yelling but he didn’t need to peek into their rooms to know that the guys were playing an intense League match. When he gets to his room, he’s greeted by Seonghwa doing his usual home training. At least he had a shirt on this time. 

“I thought today was your rest day.” He said as he hangs his bag on the corner of his bed. 

The other, still in the middle of a plank, manages to rasp out. “Habits. Hold on.” 

Hongjoong lets him finish his set as he changes into something more fitting for sleep. From the way his hair sticks to his skin, Hongjoong could only guess that this was probably his last set for the night. “Go shower first stinky. We can talk after.” 

Seonghwa looks at his roommate in a mix of fake insult and annoyance. “Say that to me after you do your laundry.” 

He looks at his laundry that seems to agree with Seonghwa. He carries the basket to their washing machine. “Now go stinky.” He repeats much to the other’s dismay, already loading it into the machine. 

After Seonghwa has done his usual lengthy shower-- seriously what does he even do? The two fill the other on how the past few hours went. Particularly, the talks with San and you. 

Seonghwa starts it as he dries his hair with his towel. “San didn’t really say much. He was pretty vague about it, something about feelings and something about wanting a re-do.” It’s usually like that at the start for San, he noticed. Always at a loss for words until he lets himself be alone. Regardless, if there’s something he and Hongjoong have, it’s the sixth sense when it comes to the members. 

The leader hums in response. It was a bit of an expected move from the younger one to keep to himself, he does see a little of himself in that kid. He wasn’t that successful in his conversation with you either. “Yeah, they didn’t really say anything with me either.” He does recount to the best of his memory the entire conversation. 

The two of them sit in silence, both concerned over how this could affect the group. Seonghwa then sits up, eyes shining with alarm. “I think he confessed to them.” 

Hongjoong stares at him, dumbfounded by how he reached that conclusion until he remembers how the members often tease him when you’re not around-- he didn’t really join in on it. How he seems to show off a little more whenever you’re around. It’s to the point he even waits for you after you park the car, none of them even do that. He buries his face in his hands, he knows how San takes rejection so harshly. It’s one of the reasons that propelled that boy to dance like his life depended on it. “And I’m guessing, they didn’t accept the confession.” 

The words make the oldest wince. “Choi San….” Seonghwa groans, dropping his body onto his bed. The two of them realize that there’s a situation on hand and they’re not really sure if the other boys know. Some of them could, some of them might not. “We should probably ask Yunho or Wooyoung if he has said anything in the near future.” 

Hongjoong nods at the suggestion, suddenly too exhausted to say anything else. “Let’s just get some sleep for now. We still have one more leg of Inception promotions this coming week.” 

Seonghwa switches the lights off, knowing full well that once Hongjoong’s in bed, there’s no getting him out of it unless it’s the next day. “Sleep well stinky.” 

“Whatever.” 

-------- The Inception promotions end without a hitch… well as smoothly as it can. Considering that there’s now a quiet lull in between the promotions, the boys have been using the time to clean the choreography and eat. It’s not ATEEZ if there’s no food. You only entered the studio towards the end of their practice, slipping quietly to sit next to their stylist and Manager Bae as they fixed the last changes for their performances. The rest of the members are walking around the studio, breathing heavily after what was probably their nth run of their next promotions.

“You’re bringing them home?” You ask him as the stylists show you the plans for their clothes. You’ve seen some of these fits during the photoshoots and music video shoots but some of these were a first. You were sure the boys would look good in these. You take note of the changes, taking a few photos of the sets to transfer to your laptop.

He hums in affirmation, too busy keeping note of the changes they discussed while you were gone. You notice San’s the only one on the floor, everyone else already packing up their things. 

“Are you going to stay late tonight?” You ask him, as he’s still on the floor, too exhausted to pull himself up. 

“Probably not, I promised Yunho I’d play a few matches of League with him.” Silence falls on the two of you, either one unsure of how to continue the conversation, much less on how to end it. Why did you expect him to stay? For more, why did that make you feel a little heavy? 

“Ah.” It was the only thing you could think of at that moment. 

Your reply causes a pit in his stomach to sink. Without thinking, he returns the question for the sake of conversation, even though there was no point in it. He doesn’t know why he still wants to talk to you, knowing that talking to you only puts more strain to him. “Are you?”

At his question, you nod. A flash of confusion on your eyes that are immediately pushed aside for the sake of professionalism. “Yeah, I have to assist in the deals with the externals team. I’ll see you tomorrow.” You don’t give him another word, opting to end the conversation with a polite bow before making your way to the office. It wasn’t the whole truth, nor was it a whole lie. Regardless, you tear your eyes away from him.

Silence trails behind you and keeps San company for the next few moments. He winces to himself, not liking how things are going between the two of you. He pulls himself up when Yunho calls for him. 

On the way out, you’re greeted by Seonghwa’s figure waiting for the rest of the boys. “Oh, hello Seonghwa.” You say out of surprise. “Not grabbing something to drink from 7/11?” 

His eyebrows raise, not expecting someone to greet him at this time of the night. “Manager-nim!” He greets you with a tired smile. “Are you going home soon?” He asks, standing a little straighter this time. “And, I think we have enough drinks at home…” he mumbles though it doesn’t sound that convincing to you. 

His question makes you smile a bit, but you shake your head at his question. “Unfortunately no. I have to do additional work to do with the externals.” 

His eyes widen at your words. “Did we get more offers?” 

His words make you mull over your thoughts. You know of one offer that’s already confirmed but you doubt they’ve been informed. “Let’s just say, you’re really staying true to the whole Back to Zero hint you’ve pulled during your Crescent Party.” You say with a chuckle. 

He doesn’t get enough time to understand the hint you give him-- a taste of their own medicine towards ATINYs when they ask for hints. Wooyoung’s already calling him annoying nicknames to get him moving and you chuckle at the pained expression on his features. “Go home, Seonghwa. Don’t want Wooyoung to annoy you more. You’ll know this once the deals are finalized.” You bid him goodbye, sparing the boys a wave before retreating to your office. 

--------

It’s already the middle of the second leg of promotions and you’re already at your last leg of energy. You probably need around two to three days to recover properly, at this rate. For now, you try to continue forward, the finish line is oh so near. You slip into the studio, not surprised to see the lights still on, but surprised to still hear ATEEZ at this hour. It’s a familiar sight in front of you: eight tired boys on the floor or slumped against the wall. Those with enough energy throw any apprehension out the window and change their tops in the studio. 

“Are you staying late in the studio tonight?” You ask San as you check the time. The boys are already getting ready to head home, San on the other hand hasn’t moved an inch. He’s in his thoughts as he stares at his bag. Your question, though, brings him out of his head and he picks up himself up. It was a question out of habit, months of having done it over and over, it was still a challenge to curb such actions. 

“Yeah. I need to clean my levels.” It only made sense that you’d bring home since you practically live under the same roof. Were you expecting him to say otherwise? Slightly. He doesn’t look at you but he makes his way to the computer again. 

“San! You’re still staying?!” Yunho exclaims, he’s the last out the door to which San acts as if it was a normal thing. 

He laughs at the shock on his member’s face. “Relax, I didn’t like my levels in the last run so I’m doing it again. Go ahead though, Manager-nim’s bringing me home.” 

“Heyy, we all know that means you’re spending another three hours.” The taller returns with a whine. 

You watch the two banter, a small hint of amusement quirking at your lips but you immediately squash that. You tip your head to quietly bring the attention back to what’s at hand. “Just tell me when you’re done, San. I’ll be at the office.” Without missing a beat, you excuse yourself out of the studio. Two pairs of eyes following your retreating figure until you disappear from their sight.

Once you leave, Yunho looks back at the male with a raised brow. “San.” 

The other makes a disgruntled sound at the tone of his voice. He knows what that means but he just can’t get himself to talk to you still. The taller male leaves him be and his shoulders fall once he’s left alone. No matter how many times he runs the choreography does he find himself satisfied with his performance. He can’t put his 100% into this when a part of him still lingers in thoughts of you. The song still plays on loop but he stops dancing for a moment, trying to bring himself into slowly going through each count to focus on what needs to be addressed. It goes well for the most part but in moments where he needs to catch his breath, to ease his parched throat, his mind stumbles to you. He looks at the clock on the computer screen. 

At least he didn’t hit the three hour mark that Yunho betted on. 

He changes into something less uncomfortable than a sweaty shirt before stepping out of the now dark studio in search of you. He sees the office not too far from where he is; he takes a deep breath, one that he associates with exhaustion rather than apprehension as he walks to where you said you’d be. 

He peeks into the office, seeing you with your fingers threaded to your hair as you write and pause for a moment to shift to your laptop. He stays there for a moment, watching you work in your own zone. He watches you work from time to time, but rarely does he see you scowl at your work. The way your eyebrows furrow at what’s in front of you makes him ponder over what could be giving you a hard time. Maybe he should’ve asked you about yourself as well instead of having your interactions be centered around him. You’ve had a few talks with him though mostly centered around his experience and you occasionally have to reign him in when he’s too caught in his emotions. He wonders if this is why you fell for Seonghwa. He shakes his head to shoo these thoughts before he starts looking like a stalker outside the office, so he knocks twice to get your attention. “Hey,” he trails off, clearing his throat. “Are you ready?” He asks softly, standing awkwardly by the door once you look at him. 

You look at the clock. It hasn’t been three hours, well it’s nearly three hours but not quite. “You finished early. Give me ten minutes.” You note as you pack all your things. 

He stays in his spot, eyes roaming the room, seeing small things that differentiate your space from the others. You had small post-its color coded over some sheets of paper that were unreadable from his spot, typical work essentials along with a small corgi plush the size of his palm resting next to a few pens. The small thing makes him smile for a moment, once he sees that you’re ready to get moving, it disappears. He lets you lead the way to the car, popping his earphones in for the long ride home.

It’s quiet for the entire ride home, except for the radio playing whatever the public has been into. You don’t look over at San to know that he has his earphones in, neither of you try to start a conversation. Maybe it was better that way anyways. 

Once you parked the car, you shake his shoulder gently to wake him up. “We’re here.” He wakes up almost immediately unlike the past times where he makes it near impossible to wake him up. He raises his head, slightly disoriented with the scattered lights in the parking lot, he looks to the driver’s seat and you’re already out of the car. He hops out of the car, running his hand through his hair as he tries to wake himself up. The car beeps and you pull at the door to make sure it’s locked. Once satisfied, you walk around and find him already by the elevator. This surprises you but at the same time were you expecting anything else? 

You put on your earphones as well, as you wait for the elevator to arrive. As much as he wants to get on the elevator first, he wasn’t going to let you be on your own at this hour. The doors slide open and the two of you get on, staying on two opposite ends. Your finger presses his floor, out of habit, then you quickly follow it with your floor number. The cool metal shows a hazy image of your reflection, nonetheless you take the chance to look at yourself. Even against this material, your exhaustion is clear. Your eyes linger to the blurry image of San through the walls and his slumped figure as he looks at his phone. Thoughts of how to mend the relationship bubble in your consciousness only to be popped by the elevator arriving at your floor. “Good night.” You say, out of respect. 

“Good night.” He returns under his breath, and he waits for the doors to close behind you before he lets out the breath he’s been holding. Now that it’s just him, he lets out a long frustrated groan. Why couldn’t he get himself to talk to you? To clear things out? He never gave you the chance to explain yourself or himself. He just took your lack of answer as a no and admitted defeat. Would trying to get you and Seonghwa together mend his damn heart? He’s also selfish. He wants you. He doesn’t want to lose to his hyung but Seonghwa is also his hyung. He’s someone he respects and loves like an actual brother. Another turmoil in his head as he watches the number on the screen reach his floor. 

He arrives at his room, greeted by the sight of Yunho playing League without him. “Damn, look at you. You don’t need me to hard carry you through a match.” San muses as he tosses his bag somewhere in the room. He doesn’t know if Yunho even heard him over the constant comments that the game makes over each kill. Regardless, he needs a shower. 

---------

He comes back from his shower and Yunho’s headset rests on his shoulders, scrolling through the internet mindlessly. “Did you get to talk to them?” Yunho asks, his eyes haven’t left the screen-- probably watching someone’s gameplay. 

San lets out a disgruntled sound as he dries his hair. “I didn’t get to, they had their earphones on.” Even to him, this explanation sounds weak. 

Yunho pauses the video then looks at the male, clearly not buying his words. “San.” 

“I’m serious.” San interjects, his face crumpling in discomfort. “Even in the hours of my practice, they were in the office the entire time.” 

“You know, if you just said you weren’t ready to talk to them, that works too.” Leave it to Yunho to cut to the chase. 

His bottom lip juts out at such a strong statement from his peer. “T-that’s one reason too…” He mumbles as he climbs onto his bed, defeated by how quick it was for Yunho to see through him. 

The other male stays on his seat, leaning against the backrest as he watches the other. “There’s no rush, honestly but bro, you really need to talk to them soon. Your own good is for the good of the group too.” 

His words make the younger look at him weirdly. He’s aware of how his heart is on his sleeve since birth but his words make him wonder just how evident his heart is. The look on his face makes Yunho laugh softly, as much as San does his best to look after everyone, Yunho still had the upper hand of being an actual older brother. It felt like he was talking to his younger brother with how confused San was. “It was kind of obvious that you couldn’t put yourself into the practice earlier San. None of us just commented on it because we know you.” 

San falls onto his pillow, half his face covered by the soft material as he shoots rainclouds at the male who is clearly unaffected by his attitude. How can he? Yunho’s right. It’s obvious when he isn’t putting his heart into it. It’s obvious when he’s got something in his mind while he practices or performs. He didn’t want to affect the boys with his personal issues. While he isn’t ready to talk to you, he needs to find a way to separate his personal life with his work life.

His roommate looks at the bothered male with a sympathetic smile. “Let’s figure this out some other time, it’s 3AM we need sleep.” He shuts off his monitor, already making his way to the lights. In a few days time, their THANXX promotions would start. San’s going to need to separate his emotions soon. Maybe those acting classes would actually help. 

--------

It’s D-2 before THANXX promotions and the staff had made sure the boys were eating right. You were grateful for the existence of yogurt and fruits, otherwise having the boys eat their vegetables would be a headache. They’ve been eating enough while making sure to leave room for their rehearsals. Today’s the last day of practicing in their outfits for the future stages. Thankfully, the clothes for the first stage were already ready. 

You and the rest of the staff had marked the studio with colored tape, while those who were in charge of production already rehearsed how the cameras would move. Truth be told, you haven’t kept up with the news but with how the production team was moving, you could only assume that the cases were rising then dropping. The boys do one run in their stage outfits with little to no issues-- save for San having to pin his pants. Once that was all over, the boys talked with the stylists for any minor changes and reviews for this set while you and the others removed the tape from the flooring. 

The same thing happens for the rest of the night: managers eating ahead, switching around to keep an eye on their rehearsals, the boys eating later on then back dancing and singing. Perfectionists but it is expected, this song was more in their comfort zone after all. You’re the last in the office again, Manager Bae bringing them home this time. Brand deals were your worst enemy but they were a high risk, high reward if done right. 

You peek into the studio, seeing the boys already packing up. Manager Bae is off to the side stretching his back after hours of moving around. You toss the keys to him to which he catches with grace, much to the group’s entertainment. 

San catches your eye and you glance over at him. Something in you hardens but you try to keep it subtle. “Heading home early?” 

He’s caught off guard by the question. “Y-yeah, I’m heading home with them tonight. You don’t have to wait for me.” He answers after recovering his composure. He shifts his face to your direction but you don’t meet his eyes. Silence falls over the two of you for a moment. With that, you nod at his words. 

“Is that so? Then, get lots of rest tonight. I’ll see you guys in the morning.” With that, you tip your head to bid him goodbye, shuffling away from him and into your office. You don’t give him time to ask if you were going home as well.

His eyes follow your figure as you quickly leave the room and something in him causes him to let out a sigh. He doesn’t have the heart to stop you, wanting nothing but to relieve his stress with a match or two against Yunho. Hell, even just sleeping doesn’t sound like a bad idea. He lets out another sigh, shoulders dropping lower than usual before he steps out of the studio as well, greeted by the sight of his fellow members, bustling about by the elevator. 

Sometimes being quick on your feet had its perks, for example, you slipped away from the boys before they could see you scurry away to your office. Once you had arrived, you let out the breath you’ve been holding in since you left the studio. Now that you don’t wait for San in the studio anymore, your schedule has gotten a lot freer than expected. While this should be a good thing, your body isn’t used to it and ends up restless. You sink into your chair, looking through your to-do list. You should be accustomed to rapid changes, but this was a change you had trouble getting used to. For months, you did your work in the studio, while San practiced his dancing and singing. It was to the point where you gave up using earphones to focus and let San perfect his technique until it became white noise to your ears. Now, the silence was deafening. Earphones are popped into your ears, putting your music on shuffle. 

[ Manager Bae to Manager Chat ] Bringing the kids home today! You guys want anything on the way back? 

You bring your phone up to your eyes, a frown on your lips as you think of what to reply. 

[ You to Manager Chat ] Sweet Cream Cold Brew and chicken sandwich please? I’m staying in the office for overtime lol

[ Manager Bae to Manager Chat ] Call. 

You look at the time. It’s 9PM. He won’t be back until 10 or 11 depending on the rush. Hell, you realized that it’s been a while since you managed to catch a breather in the office. You could barely keep your focus so you end up looking through your phone, doing the routine clean up for the sake of your phone memory. 

For the sake of your sanity, for once, you don’t push yourself to work at least until your (late) dinner comes in. You decide to call your best friend, in need of an ear that would listen because shit your thoughts are just a jumbled mess now. Her phone rings on and on, until you reach the familiar beep of a call untouched. You try again but you receive the same flat note. You tap the red icon on your phone and opt to send them a message. 

[ You to Jiwoo ] Need to talk to you about some personal stuff. Nothing life threatening, just super stressed. 

You put your phone away and stare at your emails and paperwork. If you can’t write something up, at least you can organize something right? It’s mindless work until Manager Yoon comes back. Jiwoo replies after a while. 

[ Jiwoo to You ] Good that you said it’s not life threatening. I just finished watching a zombie movie. I’m free Sunday night/Monday.

Her life choices barely faze you at this point. 

[ You to Jiwoo ] Smart choice to watch a zombie movie at night. I’ll be free by like… past midnight?

[ Jiwoo to You ] I’ll buy the soju. Bring mixers and some food. 

You break into a fit of giggles at her words. A serious heart-to-heart talk was always capped off with a chill drinking session at her place. 

You continue to organize your files, moving some of the files to a hard drive, especially now that some of these files were for the duration of Inception promotion. As you go through your files, you’re greeted by various selfies from the boys, some expected from twenty something boys, some looking very much boyfriend-dol of them. Most of them coming from Seonghwa and San, though San beating the older by a few more. You remember how the conversations always went; San would always ask which one was better, you always doubted the legitimacy of your decisions as usually the social media staff were in charge of that. He would pester you still for which one was better until you chose something. Now that you look at them with the current situation in hand, things slowly made sense. 

A heavy sigh slips through your tired lips as you watch the bar fill up, waiting for all these documents and photos to be in your hard drive. You know some of these photos were going to be needed for their birthday videos and other special events so it was best to not delete anything. Somehow your need to organize everything overpowers the small part in you that wants to process and understand everything that happened between you and San. 

“I’m back!” Manager Bae declares much to your surprise. You jolt up in your seat, surprised by his sudden presence and you look at the time. 10:15PM. 

“No traffic?” You ask and your eyes trail to the food in his hand. He catches how your eyes look at the bag of food instead of at him to which he laughs, like manager, like idol after all. The older male places your food on your table before he settles down by his space. 

“Surprisingly none,” he starts, while you rummage through the bag for your sandwich first. “The boys fell asleep fast in the car too so things went smoother than expected.” 

“They’ve been constantly on the move since September, haven’t they? It’s bound to catch up to them.” You say before taking a bite. With your free hand, you skim through your documents and emails. “After this round of promotions, they have a show with Kakao plus acting offers already. It’s almost still full speed ahead for them, still. You told the boys of the acting offers already didn’t you?” 

“Yeah, Yunho and Jongho are the most excited for it. Expected since they’re the most vocal about wanting to venture into acting.” You could already picture the looks on their face when their wish came true and it brings a small smile to your face. It’s moments like that that makes you think your work is worth it. A few minutes pass as you get halfway through your sandwich and Manager Bae stands up again, ready to call it a day. “Are you still working overtime?” He asks as he glances at the time. 

You take a sip of your coffee, feeling a little awake from the gradual caffeine fix. “Yeah, probably just two hours more. I just want to finish all of these deals and stuff.” He looks at you with a hint of concern but nods. You were a stubborn one, not wanting to stop when the finish line is so close. 

“Don’t forget you got the car keys for tomorrow’s schedule.” 

That makes you pause to do the math of your travel time plus sleep. You have enough time if you keep to your schedule. With that set, you flash him a reassuring grin. “Duly noted with thanks. Get some sleep already, you’ve been on your feet since early morning.” You say as you wave him goodbye. He laughs at your choice of words but lets it be. With that, you’re alone again. Alone with your thoughts and your work. 

Maybe silence wasn’t the best way to deal with this. 

---------

[ You to Jiwoo ] Fuck it. I’m gonna send you voice notes of everything that has happened. Cause I swear if I don’t get this out of my system, I might just lose it. 

You look at the text you composed for a few moments, you’re in bed now, drying your still damp hair. You remove everything and write everything down in your notes app instead. There were things that were better mulled about first instead of being spoken about recklessly. The blank message box taunts you to say something but you don’t. Instead, you put your phone away and ready yourself for sleep. 

---------

You wake up to your phone buzzing reminding you of the new day. The last you remember of your hazy dream was San. [dream dialogue?] You’re not sure if that was a good dream or not, details fade before you could make more sense of what it was. Regardless, it leaves a bad taste in your mouth about today. 

[ You to ATEEZ ] I’ll wait for you boys at the parking lot. Be there by an hour latest. 

[ Seonghwa to ATEEZ ] frodo_thumbs_up

With his reply, you trust that the rest of them would know of your order. You finally get out of bed, getting ready to start what could be another long day. Once you look presentable, you make sure you have everything you need for the day. As you make your way to the parking lot, you look through your messages, and you feel a little better knowing that all your drafted proposals have been approved and are just waiting for the green light from the partners. This also means you have to give the boys the rundown soon. You sent a message to the manager chat of the updates. 

The doors open and one by one the members enter, causing the van to roar to life-- in this case, not the engine. The sudden influx of noise startles you, nearly dropping your phone in the process. 

“Manager-nim!” whines Wooyoung, who was seated right behind your seat. “Why don’t you pick us up from the dorm anymore?” 

You reach behind you to pat his head, or well whatever you can pat more of. “Wooyoung, you boys are already adults..” You reason lightly, trying to keep your tone light. Unfortunately, your head is anything but light. How exactly do you make sense of a dream where someone who has feelings for you appears in them? Especially a talent. You’ve heard stories, rare that they ended on a good note too. 

Those words bring some sort of feeling in San. A bitterness that not even his performance insecurities could bring. He had his earphones in, not wanting to talk to anyone this early. 

‘San’s not a morning person for the most part, just let him warm up on his own.’ 

Manager Hwang’s voice rings in your head and it’s the only thing that’s trying to reason with your uneasiness. Once you’ve appeased Wooyoung, you count the boys to make sure they’re all accounted for before driving them to the company. 

The car mellows down into quiet murmurs between those who were awake and in between awake and slumber. It felt like everything was back to normal for the most part. 

Things go by like normal, stylists who you haven’t seen due to schedule changes have decided to gush to you over the latest gossip that you missed out on. At least they were nice enough to gossip with you after styling the boys, otherwise that would’ve been a disaster. 

“Yes, so they disregarded their contract and are dating a fan.” The tone gives you an odd impression. 

“You make it sound like this isn’t the first time he’s done it.” You note, frowning at such idea entering your mind. It’s the look on the stylist’s face that tells you you’re correct. 

He sighs. “I’ve worked with them for a number of years, their contract states they’re not supposed to date for at least two years after debut. This boy doesn’t even cover it up while doing his work. I’m not one to shame an idol for dating, I’m worried for those who have to cover up his trail and his members if he gets caught.” 

Your blood runs cold at that. It sounds all too familiar for you. But you don’t show signs of your fear to the stylist, knowing better than to talk about issues of the heart with that at a time like this. That said, you opt to just frown and sigh at such actions. It’s hypocritical of you but you couldn’t get yourself to act any other way. “I hope he gets his act together.” You mumble. 

“Who gets his act together?” 

Everyone jumps at the sudden voice and heads turn to the direction. You stand up immediately after calming your racing heart. “Wooyoung! Don’t scare us like that!” While your tone carries no hint of malice or disappointment, it does carry a tone of someone who is used to his antics. 

Your nagging causes him to snicker. “Sorry for scaring you.” He starts, while giving the other staff members an apologetic bow. “Who were you talking about?” Leave it Wooyoung to sniff out the sauce. 

At his question, you shake your head, flicking his forehead in the process. “Nothing that concerns you, Wooyoung. You’re done with your hair and make up?” You shift the topic to something else, much to the relief of the staff and your heart. 

“Yes~” God, it’s so difficult to stay mad at this boy. You watch him shuffle away to change into his performance clothes then shift your attention to the rest of the boys who were just catching up on a few minutes of sleep while waiting for their call time. 

Today’s stage for them was going to be pre-recorded as they had another guesting at the time the music show will air. You wake up those who were still asleep when they had thirty minutes before their call time. “Guys, get ready. You’re going to be called to perform soon.” You say softly, not wanting to scare them. This somehow gets them on their feet quicker than expected, you look around then you spot the camera pointed at their direction. As a reflex, you immediately cover your face and you’re thankful that San managed to step in front of you, now joking about with Wooyoung as they warm up. You take the chance to slip away from the camera and you watch from a distance as they get ready, right on time for one of the production staff to usher them to the stage as they hand them their microphones. 

Once they bid their goodbye to the camera and make their way off to the sides of the stage, a part of you falls into unease. Seasoned eyes look around the room, trying to spot for anything that the boys may have forgotten. ‘Mingi didn’t forget his gloves, same goes for Wooyoung. Did Seonghwa not wear his choker…?’ You ask yourself questions, all of which were answered as you look around the room and the tables. A part of you wants to assume this is just your brain drifting to that weird dream you had and for once, you hope that this logical side of you is right. 

The monitor in the room has you watching how the boys do their rehearsals, two of which were to get used to the stage difference, the last being for the camera work. Once all that was done, alongside the makeup retouches, they were ready for the final run. It’s not a surprise that the last run was better than the rest, you checked your phone, it would take them roughly ten minutes to get back to the room. 

It’s been a while since they finished and you excuse yourself from the mindless chatter the other staff had busied themselves with. “Get ready to pack up already.” Your voice gentle but still holding authority as you knew of their schedules. Where were the boys? You step out of the room looking for them. It took a few moments until you did find them but they made no move of leaving their spot. Something in you forces you forward and you see one of the production staff members throwing their anger on them. 

“Excuse me, did something happen?” Truth be told, you hate confrontations but this is part of your work. If this argument is stretched any longer, you fear that the boys would be late to their next schedule. 

The staff member’s voice booms, bouncing off the walls, as he decides to lecture you on how to make artists be aware of their own mishaps with logistical matters. While he didn’t call you names, it was evident that his anger was starting to become misdirected. It’s a miracle how you managed to hold your ground amidst the tirade despite the storm brewing behind your eyes. So you smile, bright and easy against the man. “Yes, while I would like us to deal with this now, I have to bring these boys to their next schedule--” He cuts you off with another rant, and your features stiffen. As you were about to open your mouth, you feel someone’s arms block you. A few blinks try to get you back to reality and you look at the arm in between you and the staff. 

Seonghwa. 

Hongjoong and San are trying to appease the staff member. Your mind goes into static, you tell the others to go back to the room to pack everything up. “Meet you by the car. Your next schedule is an hour away. Let’s hope there’s no traffic.” You say and Yunho manages to reign the rest in to do as told. Afterwards, you shift your attention back to the staff and put the two boys behind you. “I’ll cut to the chase. Here’s my contact details.” You bring out your calling card and place it in his hands. “We can arrange damage fees by tonight. I apologize for the hasty end to this discussion but the boys still have promised schedules to fulfill.” You bow out of respect and apology and leave the scene. The three following you close behind. 

You know the three are talking, over what? You aren’t sure. Your mind’s on auto pilot, overwhelmed with everything. The stress has been at an all time high for you but you always push it down, focusing on what’s in front of you. Yet, the staff’s outburst is probably the last thing that’s going to break you. A subtle pinch to your arm and you bring yourself back to reality. You check their dressing room and everyone’s already gone except for the boys who were just about to open the door. “Good, let’s go.” 

---------

The trip to their radio guesting was bustling with confusion towards the angry staff as they try retrace their steps towards that event. You on the other hand, are just grateful for the lack of traffic, you’ll get to the next schedule with a few minutes to spare. Nothing from their discussion enters your ears, too focused into making sure that everyone gets to their destination in one piece. You can deal with your emotions and reactions when the day ends. 

On the other hand, San’s been brooding about what has happened. Seonghwa and Hongjoong ask the members about the broken mic that fortunately lasted until the end of their performance. He didn’t like how things played out there. A lot of things are brewing in his mind, all of which were related to you and Seonghwa. His shortcomings of not responding immediately also being an additional burden. The staff’s outburst stunned everyone and it was Seonghwa who managed to respond first by stepping in between the two of you. As expected of the eldest. Hongjoong and him only snapped out of it after he moved. No wonder, you preferred his hyung.  Something was swirling in his pit and it wasn’t anything good.

Before San could make sense of these conflicting emotions, the car smoothly parks and the doors slide open. “We’re here.” You state and you hop off the car. He blinks out of his thoughts and follows the rest of the boys. They’re greeted by a warmer group of staff who give them a rundown of what’s to happen for this guesting. They’re greeted by lunch sets with their names on it and that was enough to elicit excited chatter from them. When the staff informs them that they’re eating as well in front of the camera as they talk about their album, it gets only louder from there. Even it gets him flashing a genuine smile, they drop their bags off in the room before being ushered to where teh show will be aired. 

You followed the boys and were greeted the same way they were greeted. You talk with some of the staff on the way inside, they hand you your lunch set and you stare at it dumbfounded. “I don’t remember this being part of the fee..” You mumble. The staff catches your words and she beams at you.

“It’s on us! We know you guys have been on your feet for so long, so we figured it would be good to give you guys something to eat.” She explains and it’s another whiplash of emotions in you. Maybe you do need a day off soon. You look at the woman in stunned silence for a moment before bowing out of gratitude. 

As the boys do their thing in front of the cameras, you stay in the room, slowly eating the meal you were gifted with. Your confusing dream must have been a warning of what this day would be. With this hour to yourself, your mind wanders to the gossip earlier: an idol dating behind everyone’s backs, for the lack of a better term. You shared the same sentiments, idols should be able to date whoever they want, but it’s the disregard to their contract and group that stresses you out more. One way or another, it strays towards San’s confession and his avoidance. He’s a man with his heart on his sleeve, and a head more stubborn than a bull. Just who did he think you had an interest on? You were mindlessly picking at your food, before snapping out of it when you remembered that you were eating. It took longer for you to finish your meal, not used to these portions after months of being on the move but you managed. Your phone buzzes and it startles you out of the silence. 

[Jiwoo to You] What time are you free

[Jiwoo to You] need your help on making a statement. 

You stare at the messages in confusion. What is she on? Just as you were about to answer, you hear the claps and the choruses of ‘You did well!’, ‘Thank you for the hard work!’. 

[You to Jiwoo] three hours. 

[You to Jiwoo] what happened?

You keep your phone and clean up after yourself just in time for the boys to enter the room with the same staff member telling them that the meal is free. The director follows them and thanks everyone for the successful shoot, thanking you as well for taking care of the eight boys. The praise catches you off guard and all you could do is laugh softly and thank them for their words and work. 

Everyone could feel the end of the day’s schedule when they hit the road back to the agency. The boys were still in their stage outfits and they wanted nothing but to be in something more comfortable. For once they weren’t fast asleep in the car, they were too busy eating still (is there even a limit to their appetite?). All you could hear was their chewing and occasional excited yelling because of how kind the staff were to provide them with food and just let them talk about their album freely. A part of you smiles as they recount the last schedule. Let them have their fun before they end up talking about that damned mic. You had to admit though, hearing them eat is kind of making you hungry too. 

“We’re here.” You state and everyone’s surprisingly finished with their meals. They’re that hungry? They hop off the car and rustle about to return into their regular clothes. They had to return these clothes to their stylists to prep them for the succeeding weeks of performance. 

Once they’re greeted by their stylists, the environment suddenly booms with energy. Food really does something to these eight boys. It takes a while before you’re greeted by them in their normal clothes again. Their makeup long gone as well. They look like regular twenty something like this. Manager Yoon exits the office, taking the keys from you, the swift work surprising you. 

“Hey!”

“My turn, remember? Hongjoong is staying late tonight..” 

You pout, sometimes being the youngest in a company makes it easy for your seniors to tease you. After his words, you nod. “Alright, just give me the keys when you get back.” You wave the rest of them goodbye, and you look at Hongjoong who’s just leaning against the wall. “Are you going to stay late to work on music?” 

He flashes an apologetic smile. “You need our side of our story too.” 

This was going to be a long day but it had to be addressed. You just hope it would end with enough time to get to talk to Jiwoo. 

The next few hours went by with the two of you trying to clear everything. Hongjoong recounting everything that had to deal with the microphone before the staff’s outburst. He even apologizes for you becoming the victim to those words. 

“Hongjoong, it’s not your fault. You don’t have to apologize for something you didn’t do.” You counter gently. You just wanted your bed, to just retreat from today’s events. You can write up an email to the staff in the morning. 

“It’s still our fault, regardless, that you had to deal with that.” Hongjoong returns, he’s not angry at all. On the contrary, he’s frustrated. Not only does he have to deal with schedules on top of schedules, composing, and San’s emotions, he had to deal with an unnecessary outburst that shouldn’t have been directed at you. 

You just flash him a smile, dropping the topic. “Anyways, I’ll relay this to the staff in the morning. Manager Bae will be in charge of your schedules tomorrow.” You look at the time, only half an hour before Jiwoo calls. “Let’s get going?” 

The ride home is quiet as well, at least the silence isn’t stifling. He busies himself with his phone, looking through anything new that has happened in social media. You look at the clock from time to time, a little bit worried for your friend who would call anytime soon. 

“Are you okay?” Hongjoong asks, his voice snapping you out of your anxious state.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” He doesn’t need to deal with your own issues. “Can you keep an eye on my phone? I’m waiting for a call.” You ask just in time for the light to turn green. 

He spots your phone, leaning against the cup holder and puts it on his lap as he goes through his phone. Fifteen minutes in and your phone suddenly vibrates in his hand. He looks at the screen and reads the name out loud. “Jiwoo is calling you..” He says, a little confused if this is the call you were waiting for. 

An annoyed hiss slips from your lips. “Pick it up.” It was inevitable. 

“I’m driving.” You state, asking for a few more minutes. Voice a little louder, to carry over to your phone.

“I’ll be quick, I need your help making a statement.” Her voice rings loud and clear. You look at Hongjoong, he probably put it on speaker. You shoot him a look to keep quiet. 

“On what?”

“Fans found out one of my idols is dating and have been emailing the agency nonstop. I made a draft already and I need your eyes and thoughts to fix any errors.” She says and you rub your temple with your free hand. 

“Send the draft to my email. I’ll get to it in forty five minutes. I’m on my way home.” You state, as you drum your fingers against the steering wheel. “I’m guessing this is what the staff was talking about earlier.” You say though a little softer. 

“You know how word travels fast in this industry.” She returns with a groan. “Call me when you get home, I’ve sent the email already.” 

“Will do, bye.”

She hangs up and you let out the breath you’ve been holding. The silence that hangs over you and Hongjoong is heavy. “Whatever just happened, is between us. If the others find out about it, let them find out about it themselves.” You rarely sound this stern and stressed that all Hongjoong could do is nod. 

Maybe that was why you rejected San. Jiwoo was right, word travels fast in this industry, it’s why he always has to make sure the boys don’t go out of line too much for their sake. He lets them learn from their mistakes but none of them grave enough to affect their name. This one though seemed heavy, especially if fans were emailing the company already. He was going to need to talk to someone though to know how to deal with San should things go out of hand. But how can he when you tell him not to with such a tone? Hell, you don’t even know that he knows that San confessed to you. 

Once you enter the parking lot you unlock the doors. “Get out of the car already, so that once I park the car smooth ride up to our apartments.” You say, a little gentler this time as you seem to have calmed down after such a bombardment of information. He looks at you with raised brows but follows nonetheless. 

By the time you get out of the car, you see Hongjoong waiting for you with the doors already open. An odd weight falls between the two of you as the doors close. 

“Is that why you rejected San?” Hongjoong carefully asks as the elevator slowly goes up. 

Your eyes are shut as you let yourself catch a breather before answering his question. “You know already, huh.” 

“Seonghwa and I kind of figured it out with his sudden mood shifts.” He reasons. “Yunho figured it out too but I doubt the others do yet.” He adds. 

A groan slips from you and you want nothing to just slip down the floor. “Can we talk about this confession thing when your Thanxx promotions end?”

“That’s too far..” He tells you. For once, you can see why the members look up and respect him so much. 

A pause. 

“Fine, Monday. You have no schedules anyways.” This makes him smile a bit. The sooner this is fixed, the better. The conversation is fortunately, cut short when the elevator rings at your floor. “Get some sleep, Hongjoong.” You bid him goodbye as you step out. 

He calls for your name carefully and you stop in your tracks. The lights from the elevator hasn’t closed either so you turn to look at him properly. “Thank you really for everything. You can lean on me or Seonghwa at least, for anything.” 

Something in you softens at those words and you nod. “Yes, sleep well Hongjoong. Manager Bae’s going to be the one in charge of your schedules in the morning and afternoon.” With that he waves you goodbye, the doors closing between the two of you. 

Once you were left alone, your eyes heat up but you shake yourself back to reality. “Still got work.” You remind yourself. 

You don’t know what time you fell asleep, but it’s already noon. “Shit.” You immediately check your laptop if you’ve sent the revised statement to Jiwoo that you worked on. A relieved sigh escapes your lips when you see that you did. You reviewed your emails and see if there’s anything you need to get done. For the first time, you don’t have much to deal with so you check on your social media to see what’s been going on. 

The idol that Jiwoo was stressing over last night is trending. 

You stare at his name for a few moments, deciding if you should check what the noise is about or what the fans have been saying but you think otherwise. Instead, you opt to get ready for what’s left of the day before heading to the agency. 

--------

The boys were on their phones while waiting for their call time. Some of them playing video games while the others look at social media. They see a familiar name on the trending topics and decide to see what’s going on. 

Seonghwa immediately leans to Hongjoong and shows the news to which the latter winces. He looks over at San and he and Wooyoung are also looking at the same post. 

“Should I message him?” Wooyoung asks, he glances over at the older two when he feels their gazes on him. “Did you see the news too?” 

“Yeah. Check on him if you can.” Seonghwa gently urges, worried also for their friend. Truthfully, the rest of the group wasn’t that close to that idol but considering Wooyoung, he’s bound to have some sort of friendship with him. 

San’s busy in his head, mulling over the news. They just resigned. Their friend resigned over being caught in a dating news. His eyebrows are furrowed, deep in thought as he’s just as worried as his friend but he’s worried also for you. For some reason, even when he tries to avoid you, his thoughts still go back to you. How many messages has he composed that he would delete? How many times has he tried to get himself to act normally only to fail and close himself off from you? 

Hongjoong keeps his eye on his two members, clearly with their own problems regarding the news. He knows one will be fine, but the other… it’s hard to say. He looks over at Seonghwa who’s a little bothered by the entire thing as well. “We need to talk to Manager-nim later.” 

“I’ll handle it. Think you can handle San for the time being?” 

“Yep.”

--------

[Jiwoo to You] well fuck, regardless of the statement, they just resigned. 

It takes a moment for you to understand what she was referring to but once you did, you freeze up. It’s like all your biggest fears were coming true, though not for you, it’s right in front of you. 

[You to Jiwoo] drinks this weekend? Your place? 

[Jiwoo to You] call. 

You were going to put your own problems on the back burner for now. This girl probably had to hold so much together thanks to that guy and now things aren’t getting any better until probably months down the line. Too busy in your own thoughts, you accidentally spill water on yourself. “Please.” You murmur to no one in particular as you wrap your jacket around your waist before cleaning up the mess in the kitchen. 

--------

[Seonghwa to You] Are you free later? I think we need to talk about San. 

And here you are thinking you were their manager but then again, the age difference makes it easier for them to see you as their friend after work. You lean against the back rest of your chair. 

[You to Seonghwa] Yeah, free by 6pm. I’ll wait for you. 

Seonghwa shows the reply to Hongjoong and they relax a little. They need to know what you think of San because it was starting to get clearer that you never gave him a definite response to his feelings. 

You stare at your messages, even going as far as reading through your conversations with San which consisted of various topics and banter-- with the occasional fishing for praise from him.

 Why were you so affected by his feelings? 

You spend some time watching some of the videos he has of the members having fun, you could clearly hear his laughter on one of them and it makes you smile a bit, missing that sound a little too much. 

It takes your phone buzzing with another notification to snap you out of your thoughts. “Ah, two more hours.” You note at the time, not really looking forward to your talk. 

[You to Seonghwa] do you want me to get you something to eat as well? Lol

[Seonghwa to You] hehe please?

[You to Seonghwa] lmao, fine. 

Still a kid at heart, really. 

--------

If the food you have on the counter from 7/11 says anything, it’s that you decided to wait for Seonghwa before eating, and that you’re prepared for his appetite. 

[You to Seonghwa] I’m at the office kitchen. 

[You to Seonghwa] I also have meat. 

[Seonghwa to You] ^^*

His reply makes you snort, already picturing his excited grin at the mere mention of meat. It won’t be too long before they arrive at the office. The door opens mere minutes later and while you expected the room to suddenly boom with noise, it was only Seonghwa who entered the room. He catches the look in your eyes and for some reason wanted to tease you about your feelings but now isn’t the right time for that. 

“Relax. Everyone else is just changing and getting ready to head home. I told them I’m staying behind to do some vocal practice.” He knows you well enough to know that you need the complete story when it comes to their schedules. Also because it’s not the complete truth. 

You sigh in relief and gesture for him to sit and eat already. “Let’s talk about it when everyone else is gone.” 

“No one can hear us here. The room next to us is the gym, the room next to the gym is the studio so you’re fine.” 

“Seonghwa.” You say, still a little tense with the mere idea of the boys walking in on your talk. 

“You can’t push this away forever.” He cuts you off, his voice taking on a little bit of strength that surprises the two of you. The look on your eyes makes him look away as he starts to eat. “I’m sorry about the tone but I’m serious. You can’t push this away and think it’ll fix itself.” 

Silence falls on the two of you as you unpack your meal. You let go of the tone slipup, he was right and you doubted this issue could wait for Jiwoo. So while you wait for your respective meals to heat up, you tell Seonghwa what happened: starting from the small things San would do since your first day up until the moment he confessed to you. You admit that you were stumped into who he would think that you would fancy as you have inevitably been stuck to them since their promotions started. 

That’s one thing Seonghwa didn’t expect, sort of. San’s jealousy is something everyone’s familiar with but jealousy in the aspect of romance wasn’t something Seonghwa expected in this situation. It actually makes him forget that his meal is still hot, causing him to slightly burn his tongue from the unexpected temperature spike. At the sight of his blunder, you hand him a glass of water to which he refuses as he struggles to chew the hot piece of beef. You decide to just watch his struggle as you sit there and eat your food. 

Once he succeeds, he takes a few sips of water. His eyes clearly watery from the pain. “Are you okay or do you need a moment?” You ask him, trying to hide the fact that you were amused by his struggle to regain his composure. He finishes what’s left of his water before he turns his attention to you. 

“Did you ever tell him your answer to his confession?” He asks you and it’s the way your shoulders drop that tell you that how you answered or lack thereof is the reason why San is the way he is. “You didn’t tell him that you like him too?” 

Now’s your turn to choke on your food. You stare at him incredulously as you try to regain some sort of control with your food mishap. “W-wait..” you sputter out as you try to catch your breath. It takes some time before you’re able to breathe normally and eat. “I never said anything about me liking him?” 

“You never told him?” 

“How do you even react to someone who tells you they like you while nearly about to fall asleep while standing?” 

“I don’t know…” he trails off, gathering the right words in his head, just as he was about to continue, the door swinging open causes the two of you to stop. 

“Didn’t know you guys were still here.” To be honest, you didn’t think San would be in the studio either. 

“San-ah, I thought you went home with the rest of the boys already.” Seonghwa says, straightening up as he sets his food down. The younger catches how his hyung’s eyes flit to you then to him. 

The younger steps inside the kitchen, refilling his water bottle. “I didn’t. I wanted to squeeze in a workout. I thought you left already.” He returns. All you want to do right now is leave the room. He turns to the two of you once his bottle was filled and it’s unnerving to see his eyes look so steely. 

“I was going to leave later but we can go home now.” Seonghwa returns calmly. His eyes return to you trying to look as if he was asking if they can go home. You knew better, the talk was going to happen some other time. With that look, you quickly finish your meal, then packing up the trash. 

“Sure. Let’s go home.” 

---------

The ride home wasn’t any better: both of them busy with their phones, both sitting at different sides of the car. At least you had full control of the radio. 

Now in San’s eyes, he wonders why Seonghwa would’ve said he was going to do some vocal practice when he was eating dinner with you in the kitchen. He didn’t think of his hyung as someone who would lie. He’s better than that isn’t he? The younger does feel a sense of annoyance though, that he would say such only to go behind their backs and eat with you. He’s trying hard not to think of the worse of his hyung knowing well that he’s the better option between the two of you, but with the recent news of their friend resigning due to dating along with his feelings for you? It’s a challenge. He shuts his eyes and takes a deep breath, doing his best to calm himself down. 

“San-ah, your shoulders are tense.” The older’s soft voice calls him out of his thoughts and it effectively gets him to drop his shoulders. Seonghwa looks at the other for a moment then returns his gaze to his phone. He worries of what goes on in his head especially after seeing the two of you in the kitchen. He genuinely didn’t think that San would stay late especially during promotional periods. He worries that he may have made it worse for everyone, especially him and you. 

“We’re here.” Your voice makes the two raise their heads from their screens. The cold lighting of the parking lot telling them that they are home. You hop out of the car first, waiting for them to get out while making sure you got everything with you. Seonghwa goes ahead, hoping that the talk (or whatever was talked about) makes you move. 

San does it for you though. “So I guess I got my answer?” He pipes up, lingering around you. His gaze beyond you but at his hyung who’s waiting for the lift. Your confused look makes him hiss in frustration. His reaction makes you snap, too tired from all the mental gymnastics you do, too tired from bringing them from point A to point B day in and day out, too tired from keeping yourself together for their sake, for your friend’s sake and for yourself. 

“San, how sure are you about it? All of it? You’re confusing my care for something else. Everyone is worried about you, I have to worry about you as well and while I am your friend, I’m still your manager. At the end of the day, my job is to make sure you guys are able to do your job as artists.” Your blood runs cold at how those words rush out of you, you could barely look at him. The only thing you can hear is your heartbeat and the car’s security lock. “San, how sure are you about my feelings? How are you filling in the blanks that I should be filling?” 

Those words make his feet move, leaving you in the dirt as he walks over to where Seonghwa is. For a moment, you feared that he would get physical-- boy has a black belt after all. He doesn’t. He just lingers by the back, waiting for the lift. He should’ve done a more strenuous workout just so his mind would stop running. 

Seeing him look like so makes you sigh. You had to admit your faults on that, you’re just so tired. You promised your day off would be after promotions but you kind of wish you could make it earlier and have it this week. By the time you arrive at where the two are, the doors of the elevator opens letting the three of you in. You don’t press your floor number first, letting the boys get their rest first. You’re getting additional hours of sleep today anyways. 

“Good night.” You mutter as the two of them step out of the elevator. Seonghwa returns the greeting and so does San. Though one looks back and gives you a friendly wave, the other stalks off, shoulders just as tensed as it was earlier. You look at Seonghwa and shake your head. That’s all he needed to know as to how the mere moments he was out of earshot went. 

“Joong and I will deal with him. Get some rest and think it through. We still need to talk again.” 

“Yeah.” You just hope you didn’t fuck it up for everyone. Something in your gut told you otherwise. 

Part 5

[bts-ficrecs]

Namjoon angst fic recs (no smut)

@ephyra16​​ asked: 

Hey...! Your blog is of so much help to me, thank you for all the hard work you do... I wanted to ask if you know any long Namjoon oneshots or series which mostly have angst but no smut...? Namjoon centered fics are really hard to find. Thanks!!

yes hello for some reason tumblr hates me and idk why everything gets wonky when i try to answer asks so i’m making a new post <3

1) as a jin stan i feel u. is hard to find fics for our mans but that just means when we find one we devour it and cherish it 4 ever lol

2) jsdflajsd you might have more luck asking someone else for straight up angst cause i can barely stomach angst LOL. I tried my best to find some heart breaky fics for you! :”) A majority of these I have not yet read so we will both be riding the emo train together.

As you requested, most of the oneshots are long fics, over 5k but! There are several honorable mentions under 5k are also listed cause they’re great

Thank you for your patience and I’m glad you’re enjoying the fics I reblog! :D so many great stories out there. as always, if there’s a fic that any of you readers think should be on this list lmk!! 🧡🧡 Enjoy!~

��

 

A Little Bit Of Sugar by @lthyl​​

Summary: Namjoon is well aware that some, well actually most people could find his hobby not exactly common, yet he still considers himself to be a man of tasteful words and higher intellect - someone who managed to understand the true, deepest meaning of beauty itself. And so he doesn’t really care if his methods of collecting pretty things end up being darker that expected, once you peek under the surface.

Almost Love by @joonary​​

Summary: You think you’ve got your life all figured out—after all, you found your soulmate already, and you’re lucky enough to have found him in your childhood best friend. You suppose that maybe, now that you’re older, your luck has begun to run out.

Better To Have Loved by @rkivenamu​​

Summary: Love, Namjoon had found, wormed its way though people, consumed them whole until it left nothing of the people they had once been. It became a weapon to be used to wound the other. Love, it seemed, was the worst thing that had ever happened to him.

Bloom by @hobidreams​​

Summary: Family is who you kill for. Who you die for. In this society, you and your kin are shadows, clinging to the darkness to obey orders absolute. But when such orders command you to abandon what little honor remains for wealth and notoriety, you find yourself lost in lonely uncertainty about the only vocation you’ve ever known. That is, until you meet a man with gentle hands, a poet’s heart, and a love for coaxing the world into bloom.

Note: okay, this has smut (there are 2 smut scenes) but… it is too good for me to not add to this list

Breathless by @personawife​​

Summary: Jungkook was eleven when it had begun. At first, he didn’t realize what was happening to him when he had miraculously coughed up a flower petal. He thought that maybe it had accidentally blown into his mouth with the wind, but then he realized that there were no cherry blossom trees around his house.

Pairing: Namjoon x Jungkook

Catching Fire by @namjoonchronicles​​

Summary: “If you didn’t want to go, then you should have told me. I wouldn’t have taken you here.”

Cut by @chimchimsauce​​ (>5k)

Summary: Namjoon always hated soulmates.

Chasing Perfection by @shuaffeine-rkive​​

Summary: Kim Namjoon is the only kid in AP Bio that is smarter than me, and I will make it a point to destroy his perfect record.

Emancipated by @imagniation​​

Summary: CEO!Namjoon is a hero time and time again when your father takes the villain role.

Five Times by @lordofassgard​​

Summary: Five times you wished you never met Namjoon.

Sequel (of sorts): Part 2 - Namjoon's POV

For All the Petals by @rosaetae​​ (>5k)

Summary: A story in which you met him in the spring, fell in love with him in the summer, but he left you in autumn and how you missed him in the winter.

Forget Me Not by @fairyjeons​​

Summary: She fell apart that day. An all white day with crowds of adoring friends and family to see them make the most happiest decisions of their lives, to choose to be together. She chose yes. He chose different.

Ghost In The Machine by @jimlingss​​

Summary: Kim Namjoon is your android that’s modified to become the best serial killer in all of existence. But when he starts to learn about humanity, he begins to threaten your goals.

God of Destruction by @jimlingss​

Summary: Everything he touches breaks; except for you.

Jealous by @btssmutgalore​​ (>5k)

Summary: Namjoon remembered the day you left clearly.

Lit Me Up by @floralseokjin​​

Summary: You find yourself becoming captivated by a mysterious, handsome author, but you may have bitten off more than you can chew…

No Goodbye by @floralseokjin​ (>5k)

Summary: Even if you’re the one who ended things, you can still feel pain. Your heartbreak is valid. Your sadness for the past is a grieving process…

Noble Gain and Loss by @jaeminlore​​ (>5k)

Summary: You are a person of nobility preparing with your tutor for your royal debut. The two of you fall into a forbidden love.

Not The One by @personawife​​ (>5k)

Summary: Maybe you should’ve realized early on then, that something was bound to go wrong. Meeting your soulmate at sixteen and living happily ever after? No one’s that lucky. But you refused to believe anything else.

Paracosm by @jimlingss​ (>5k)

Summary: Namjoon’s always known he was your second choice. He was a substitute for someone who wasn’t there. So when you’re on your deathbed, he intends to reconstruct your memories and remove your regrets.

Press Play by @out-of-jams​​

Summary: You didn’t mean to. Didn’t intend to fall in love with a dying man.

Submerged by @myfeelsinink​​

Summary: Kim Namjoon is the man of your dreams; or rather, from your dreams.

Suspended Soul by @justimajin​​

Summary: A silver ring, a live long promise, and an eternity of happiness. All of which, he had managed to break.

The what Ifs by @ellieljade​​ (>5k)

Summary: You would be able to handle the relationship between Namjoon and your best friend if it weren’t for all those damned “what ifs”

Wishf-oo-l by @sseudanym (>5k)

Summary: To fulfill a good man’s bad dream.

Worshipers of the Soul by @jimlingss​

Summary: The King of the Underworld was denounced and exiled from Heaven as a god. But with your help, he may rise to power once more and claim his rightful throne.

You’ve Got That by @mikrksmos​​

Summary: After making a life-changing decision for your career, you’re unsure of how exactly to bring it up to your boyfriend after your relationship and communication has not really been in sync. Namjoon is ready to take this relationship to the next stage, and he is sure that what he needs to ask you will be the solution to all the problems you have been having. Both know this next move is the right idea, but are unaware of how parallel those ideas really are.

 

 

Confirm Or Deny by @dinoyoongi​​

Status: complete series (6/6)

Summary: You’re a member of the rising group FRNZEE. You’ve been dating Namjoon for years when Dispatch releases an article exposing your relationship. Your company confirms the relationship. Big Hit denies it.

Deeper than Ink by @whoajeon​​

Status: discontinued series (2/?)

Summary: Should you fall in love with someone, even in the slightest, your skin becomes marked with vibrant colors that depict the story of your emotions. A tattoo, per say. However, should they or you fall out of love, the bright hues dull to black and the feelings you once had for each other melt away. To many, it’s a blessing to not have to live with the pain of your past. But what’s the point when you have too many reminders–say 27?

His Deaf Stars by @jooneos​​

Status: discontinued series (1/?)

Summary: When Namjoon turned 20 he had been excited to finally find his soulmate. He hadn’t anticipated that finding them would prove to be such a long journey. Now, more than 500 years later Namjoon still hadn’t found them.

Note: ok, yes it’s discontinued and only 1 part is up but still… please read it. It’s an interesting read regardless!

Inked by @kookswife​​

Status: complete series (6/6)

Summary: The day Namjoon entered your life was the day you were a bit more than utterly fucked.

Monster by @wordycerty​​

Status: ongoing series (1/?)

Summary: Namjoon as a vampire and you’re locked in a basement with him. For you to escape, he first needs to feed.

Noble Heart by @agustkive​​

Status: ongoing series (1/?)

Summary: Unrequited love can destroy anyone, and in a society where it could literally do so, it made it difficult to want anything more. Being among the population with Hanahaki disease, you battled with doing what you loved without actually feeling it. That is, until a new florist by the name of Kim Namjoon came into your life to remind you of what it actually felt like.

Reality by @thoughtssilent​​

Status: ongoing series (11/12)

Summary: Namjoon can’t deal with himself anymore, and to make things worse, BTS is disbanding.

Pairing: Namjoon x OT7

Regrets by @nightbts​​

Status: complete series (3/3)

Summary: When his eyes met yours, you felt your heart squeeze in your chest at the familiar brown eyes that you once used to know at the back of your hand. The very ones you’d wake up to every morning. The very ones that would gaze at you with so much affection as the words I love you spilled past his mouth during the most random moments of your day. It was him, your ex-boyfriend, the very Kim Namjoon.

Solanacea by @softjeon​​

Status: complete series (10/10)

Summary: There was something between them that neither could deny. It was like this from the first day they had met.

Pairing: Namjoon x Jimin

The Heiress’ Son by @jimlingss​

Status: complete series (3/3)

Summary: Love is never enough. It could never feed you, protect you, stop death from taking you. It chains you down. It compels forgiveness unconditionally. It is dangerous. While it is the most intense of feelings, love is not enough and it will never be. Love never helped anyone.

What If I Said by @thoughtssilent​​

Status: complete series (3/3)

Summary: If no one is there for him, Namjoon won't be there for them. Or, a collection of sad stories.

Pairing: Namjoon x OT7

[evanstanhoney]

Work For It : Manners Universe 🌹💋

a/n: this was kind of requested so i decided to make it a part of the manners franchise lol i think i works for it. the rest of the manners universe can be found here. 

summary: you’ve been a little bratty lately and shawn decides it’s time to put you in your place. 

⚠️warnings: D/s, spanking, fingering, thigh riding

word count: 2.8k

The middle of the grocery store was probably not the time to be teasing Shawn, and you knew better. You simply didn’t care. You’re not sure what’s gotten into lately, maybe it was the way that he’d been looking extra handsome? But ever since you and Shawn officially started your little arrangement not long ago, you couldn’t get enough of him and were willing to do whatever it is you needed to do to get him, and Shawn took notice. He saw the way you’d swing your hips just that little bit more, trying to entice him. How you’d bend over just a little too far, how your comments lately always seemed to just a little suggestive. He didn’t mind though, he enjoyed the little games you played. He found it pretty endearing actually, watching you really come into your sexuality. You weren’t as shy anymore and weren’t afraid to take what you wanted when you wanted it. Even if it sometimes wasn’t the best timing. 

Shawn was different too. He was just as sweet and gentle and attentive as he always was, but in your most intimate moments, when you were playing he wasn’t afraid to really let go. To really be dominant and give you what it is that you craved. And it was moments like this, with you teasing him in public, making suggestive comments, and brushing your body against him just a little too often, where he was really happy you agreed to go further with your little dynamic. For the most part, it stayed in the bedroom, but every once in a while it would spill over into your daily lives, either with little sly comments or a possessive grip to your waist. It was always a nice little reminder of what it is that you had. 

You pushed your cart down the aisle picking up what you needed, Shawn trudging next to you, arm draped around your shoulder, thinking of all the things he could do to you once you were in the privacy of your apartment. Of all the ways he could, for a lack of a better phrase, get back at you for all that you’d been doing all day. He’d be lying if he said his cock didn’t twitch a little at all of the possibilities. 

“You’ve been a real brat lately you know that?” he whispers in your ear planting a kiss to the side of your head. 

“Have I?” you smirk taking an extra interest at the bag of kale in your hand. 

“You know you have.” he growls into your ear, “I think we should do something tonight. Maybe straighten you out a bit.” Your breath hitches a little bit at his tone, and the words go straight between your legs. 

……..…...

 Dinner was quick, just chicken and veggies, with a side salad. And just as quick as you were to cook it, you were just as quick to put it away. You just wanted to skip everything and get to the part where Shawn has got you bent over and screaming his name. But no. Shawn was all about anticipation. Tonight though as you were cleaning up, Shawn could feel the impatience radiating off of you and so he decided to give you a break. 

“Go to the room. I’m going to clean up here and I’ll be there in a minute. Be ready.” Shawn says in that tone that you love so much. You nod your head and scurry off into your bedroom.

You go in about your routine. Stripping down to your panties, no bra and sitting in the center of the bed, waiting for Shawn. It doesn't take long for him to enter the room, he always gave you a few minutes to get situated and just wait. So when you finally did see Shawn enter the room, shutting the door behind him, you instantly perked up, your stomach doing somersaults. He walks over to the edge of the bed, holds his hand out for you.  

“Come here.” Shawn rasps. You take his hand in yours, knee walking your way to the edge of the bed. He cups your face in his hands bringing your lips to his and you melt instantly into his touch. He shakes his hand into your hair at the nape of your neck, griping at the strands firmly,  tugging your head back giving him access to your neck. He places kisses up and down the expanse of your neck, sucking and nibbling on your favorite spot, before pulling away.  

“What am I going to do with you.” he tuts, shaking his head. 

“Whatever you want.” 

“Don’t tempt me, baby. You’re already in trouble.” He chuckles, and you pour out your bottom lip, “No pouting,  you know exactly what you’ve done.”

“Nuh-uh.” you say innocently, leaning forward to bring your lips to his but he pulls away quick enough, 

“Teasing me in public. Your little playtime this morning.” You smirk up at him at the memory of you blowing him while he was on the phone. You didn’t pay too much attention to the details of the conversation, you were much too preoccupied. 

He lets out a little chuckle shaking his head fondly at you “That was funny to you?” he asks. 

“Maybe.” you giggle, wrapping your arms around his neck, bumping your nose against his playfully. “You liked it.” you teased  

“I did.” He says untangling your arms from around his neck and pinning them to your sides. “That doesn’t mean you can stick your hand down my pants when I’m doing something important, though. Is that what good girls do?” 

“No.” 

“And are you my good girl?”

“Your best girl,” you say confidently with a dopey grin.

He chuckles, leaning down placing a peck on your forehead. “That you are.” He takes a seat next to you on the bed, patting his thigh. “Across my lap.” You do as you’re told, laying across his lap, chest to the bed, and your ass in the air. “You’re getting fifteen,” he says sternly and you squirm a little in his lap, mumbling something into the mattress. “What was that?” he asks massaging one of your cheeks in his hands. 

“That’s so many.” 

“Do you want more?” he challenges, raising an eyebrow. 

“No!” you rush out, shaking your head. 

“Then no complaining,” he says, squeezing one of your cheeks in his hand readying it for your spanking. “Count them out for me okay?” 

“Yeah.” you huff with an attitude. 

“Honey,” he warns. 

“Yes, I’ll count them out.”  

“Good girl.” He coos, massaging your cheeks. 

The first six were quick but got progressively harder with each swat of his hand. It was a welcome sting, a familiar one, but that didn’t make it any easier for you to stay still. He lands one more, before running his hand over your now warmed skin, soothing it a little. 

“Seven,” you sigh out, relaxing a bit with the gentle motions of his hand on your backside. You could feel Shawn getting hard against your stomach and you wanted nothing more than to wrap your hand around his cock and make him moan in the way that you love. But you were in trouble, and you knew the likelihood of you getting anything you wanted tonight was highly unlikely. Regardless, you made sure to be extra squirmy in his lap giving him some friction.

He massages your ass with one hand, easing the burn before his fingers travel down, to your heat, pressing his fingers against your panties. “Always so wet, just from a spanking,” he comments, shaking his head. He rubs circles over the front of your panties for a few moments before he slowly slips his fingers into the elastic band of the material, shimmying them down your legs exposing you to him. You shiver as the cool air of the room hits your heat, and Shawn takes notice, smirking to himself. He brings his hand down to your heat, giving you three slow circles to your clit before he’s bringing his hand down on your bare bottom hard and quick. It takes you by surprise and you nearly jump out of his lap.

“Eight.” you groan out. “Please.”

“Please what baby.” 

“Can I have your fingers please?” 

“I shouldn’t” he sighs out, dramatically fingers halting their movements, and you visibly deflate, letting out a little huff, “but since you asked so nicely.” His fingers slowly make their way back down to your heat, his thumb running it up and down your folds, collecting the wetness at your entrance and circling your clit. He alternates between that and running his fingers up and down the entirety of your heat and you can't help but push your ass back onto his hand, asking for more, but he pulls back immediately.

“You know better.” He says sternly looking down at you with disapproving eyes. Shawn was all about patience. It was the one rule that you always managed to break but it was just so difficult with the way Shawn worked his fingers. You couldn't think of anything else, but to chase after the feeling. 

“I’m sorry.” you pout, relaxing back onto his lap, “Please don’t stop.” He looks at you as if he was thinking about it for a moment before his hand is right back to where it’d been, where you’d needed him most. He slowly inserts a finger, slowly pumping it in and out anchoring them down trying to find your spot, while his thumb circled your clit. You couldn’t help the moans that fell from your lips, and soon enough Shawns fingers began picking up speed, as they did he gave you three more quick slaps and you counted them out, too focused on the pleasure from his fingers than the stings of his hand. His fingers slow down a little to a half-speed, as he massages the cheek he just finished assaulting. 

“Four more, baby. This isn’t so bad is it.”

“No it’s - it’s not so bad…oh my god.” you pant, gripping at the sheets in front of you, trying everything in your power not to push back on his fingers.  

“Are you close baby?” he asks pressing on your g-spot. 

“Yes,” you cry out bracing yourself for your orgasm, but instead your meat with the halting of Shawn’s fingers and a swift smack to your ass. 

“Fuck! Twelve.” 

“Oops,” he says and you can hear the smirk in his voice, and you want to scream! 

He doesn't take it easy on you the last three, they were quicker and by far the most intense but it was nothing you couldn’t handle. Besides you’d hoped the quicker he finished your spanking the sooner he’d let you come. He massaged each cheek after the final one, before running his fingers down your folds again. This time you refrain from pushing back and he takes notice. 

“Good girl, stay still for me.” He inserts two fingers and begins going to work. At first, they are slow and shallow, but after a few moments he picks up speed, anchoring them down again hitting at your g-spot. And then he stops again. Giving you a quick swat, it was just a light one, nowhere near as hard as the others but you still yelped out and jumped in surprise at the extra slap.  

“I’m sorry that was mean of me, huh?” he smirks down at you, to which you nod with a pout to your lips, “Up.” you get up and sit in his lap hands together behind his neck. He pulls you in for a kiss. “You did good baby. What’s your color?” 

“Green.” 

“If you’re green, what’s this put about then, huh?” He smirks giving you a kiss to the corner of your mouth.

“You’re being mean.” you whimper, and he caresses your face in his hands pecking the tip of your nose. 

“This is a punishment baby. I’m supposed to be mean.” he chuckles. “But you’re okay?” he asks again and you give him a reassuring nod. “Good.” He smiles up at you, bringing his hand up to caress your cheek before he’s bringing your lips down to his. The kiss is soft and sweet at first, relatively innocent considering the circumstances and well...you just couldn’t have that. You threaded your fingers through his hair with one hand, deepening the kiss, while your other hand begins its journey roaming down the front of Shawn's body. You lightly graze your hand over the front of his shorts and you smirk at how hard he was. He’d always teased you about how turned on you were with his spankings, but Shawn would get equally excited. 

You grazed your hand over him, and you could tell Shawn was doing everything in his power not to moan out just by the way he was pulling you in closer, nibbling at your lip just a little bit harder. So feeling brave, you reach for the elastic of his shorts pulling them slightly and letting them slap back against his skin. He’s quick to remove his hands from your face, taking both of your hands in one of his holding them behind your back. 

“Hands to yourself. You lost that privilege this morning.” He says sternly, shaking his head “Stand up,” he says pulling you off of his lap for a moment, “Now come here, straddle my thigh.” You weren’t quite sure where he was going with this, but you did as you were told and took a seat on his thigh. 

“If you want to come, you’re going to have to work for it.” He smirks. He leans back on his hands, looking at you with dark eyes. 

“Shawn, I can’t come like this.” you pout, leaning forward, resting your head on his shoulder. You were so frustrated, he’d brought you to close twice already just to rip its way and now this? There was no way that you were going to finish tonight.

“Have we done this before?”

“No, but-”

“Then try.” He says pulling your head out of his neck. “Come on,” he says, giving you an encouraging nod. 

You place your hands on his shoulders to brace yourself, and slowly start to rock your hips, back and forth against his thigh. And at first, if you were being honest, you didn’t feel much of anything. It felt nice, sure. But it wasn’t anything special.

“I can’t.” you pout halting your movements.

“Don’t stop. Keep going.” You let out a sigh but continued on, back and forth robotically eyes closed trying to focus on the feeling. It was fine enough, nothing to write home about, and then Shawn lifted his thigh up, suddenly giving you a bit more friction, and that somehow made all the difference. It started to feel good….really good. Your grip on his shoulder gets a little tighter and you speed up the movement of your hips chasing after your much needed twice teased orgasm. You let out a little whimper and you hear him chuckle up at you. 

“Was that a moan?” he teases, and your only response is another deeper moan. “Told you.” he chuckles,  “That feel good baby?”

“Mhmm” you whimper, biting your lip. Shawn brings his hands up to your hips, helping you along, and leaning forward kissing up to your chest. 

“Are you going to come like this, right on my thigh.” All you could do was nod furiously and moan out. “But I thought you said you couldn’t,”  he tuts with a smirk.  

“I know but I -” 

“Your close aren’t you?”

“Yes.” you moan, throwing your head back. He brings his hands to cradle your face leaning your forehead forward against his. 

“Ask,” he warns, voice low and stern, your absolute favorite, you could have come with just that alone. 

“Can I come please.” you plead, and he doesn’t say anything for a moment. Just looks between you, and where you were grinding down on his thigh. He smirks down at you, waiting for what he knows is coming because you can feel your orgasm baraling at you at a thousand miles per hour, “Shawn please!” 

“You can come.” He says before crashing your lips to his. 

It’s just a moment later that you come completely undone on top of Shawn, gripping at his shoulders and nibbling at his lip, moaning out a mantra of his name and swears. You ride Shawns thigh through it, and it feels like it goes on forever, every inch of your body is hypersensitive. When you finally start to slow your hips your body shakes a little with the aftershocks, but Shawns there to hold you close, hand running up and down your back. 

“Oh wow,” you say into his neck, with a dopey grin. 

“Told you.” He chuckles, “What do you say?”

“Thank you.” you giggle. You pull yourself out of his neck for a second looking down at him, “How’d you know I’d be able to come like that?” 

“Honey, I know you like the back of my hand.” He says rolling his eyes. 

That he did. 

tag list: @rainbowshawn @fallinfortom @lostinshawnsmemory @shawnscxlvins @thatkidwhodreams @toolazymyguy @outlandishnerd @justanotherfangurl272 @itrocksmysocks @turtoix

masterlist // tell me what you think? // requests? // wattpad // ao3

[onyourzeus]

raining | kyh

ykcyj ➝ arskyh

title: raining pairing: kang younghyun (youngk of day6) & you  genre: fluff, fictional universe words: 4.4k

was listening to this playlist while writing.  author’s note: overwhelmingly cliche, like kdrama levels of it. be forewarned. i am in my youngk feelings tonight, folks. i just wanted to write something sickeningly cute & i think i achieved it lol. do enjoy, regardless.

any requests? check my pinned post if i’m accepting any at the moment, thanks!

The moment you step outside the door, you immediately regret it. You were never one to love the cold, you actually welcome it— but when signs of heavy rain are bound to happen within the hour or so it’s not advisable for anyone to enjoy a walk outside. 

You pull on the ends of your sweaters even more, keeping the tips of your fingers enclosed in the warmth of the fabric. A slight yet wintry breeze whispers against your ear and you shiver involuntarily. It was a win-win situation to cover your head with the hoodie as your hair had seen better days before, and it keeps you extra protected from the cold. 

The convenience store was a mere ten to fifteen walk from your street, it shouldn’t be a big deal. So here you are, shuddering in house clothes, trudging your way to the nearest mart to snag yourself a cup of noodles or two, and maybe buy a drink to keep you toasty on the way back. 

Hands tucked in between your sides, you briskly make your way to your destination. At eight in the evening on a weeknight, there seems to be a couple of people enjoying a chilly stroll outside. 

Well, the only difference is that they’re all dressed for the occasion: thick coats, thicker scarves, and an overwhelming sense of excitement for this weather. 

“They better go home soon before it starts to rain,” you mumble under your breath, costing a fog to escape in front of you. It looks nice, though, that they have one or another person accompanying them tonight. Some with hands held tight and others just comfortably walking side by side. 

The sudden chattering of your teeth makes you question your bitter sentiment. You decide not to think about it any further as you approach the blinding lights of the convenience store. 

Pushing the door open with some elbow grease (they really need to replace that), you’re welcomed with a whiff of plastic packaged items, coffee brewing on the side, and the silent hum of cash registers at the front. 

You’re starting to feel the heat of the inside replace your slight shivering, but you ought to keep the hood on and make the trip as fast as possible. 

Walking towards the ramen aisle, your eyes widen at the sheer possibilities of microwavable meals you can have tonight: curry-flavored, spicy seafood, extra hot with three Xs, it’s shameful that you find these all so appealing. 

Before your mouth waters embarrassingly, you grab three cups of your choice and cradle them in one hand securely. Moving over to the chilled section, you check the price of a small container of kimchi to see if you’re lucky enough to spice up your dinner for tonight. 

Unfortunately, you don’t think it fits your budget, recalling that you just grabbed a couple of coins from the counter before leaving the apartment.

Somehow, while being preoccupied by the fact that you can’t have any kimchi, your head collides against someone’s back. In the most awkward encounter that can happen, cups of noodles drop on the floor. Your hoodie falls off your head, revealing the hair you’re trying to keep away from the public. 

With heated cheeks, you apologize profusely to this person’s back, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry! I wasn’t looking!” You don’t even wait for them to turn around as you quickly bend down and grab your items. 

He picks them up before you do. 

You get a glimpse of him in the seconds he’s bent down; his hair parted in the middle with a little curl to them, roots are dark brown but everything else of a faded grey, his thick brown coat nicely shaping his shoulders, and as he slowly stand upright you have a clear view of a black turtleneck that hugs his neck perfectly, and his face—

“No worries, it happens,” he tells you casually, holding onto your dropped items. His eyes are slanted and yet you see gentleness in them. As he gives you a small smile, you notice his high cheekbones protruding from such graceful features. 

The sudden warmth emanating from your thrift-store find sweater makes your face feel like it’s about to erupt from embarrassment. You scramble over to grab your cup of noodles from his grasp, grazing the skin on his hands. Even that sensation felt so soft for such a short period of interaction. 

You do need to go out and see people more. 

“T-thanks,” you manage to blurt out. From all the apparent staring you’ve done in the past minute or so, you find your eyes glued on the floor intensely. 

“Excuse me…” you trail off almost inaudibly, but he gives you space in the aisle you’ve collided so you can stand in line for the register. 

It felt like an eternity being face to face with him as people have formed a queue to pay already, but you will yourself not to look back. It was a… lucky accident? 

If you can call it that— you still look like you haven’t unearthed yourself from your hermit cave for months. And him— well, to put it frankly, he just looked unreal to be sauntering his way at a local convenience store. 

You shake your head, quickly pull up your hoodie once again and tighten the straps a little bit more forcefully this time. 

It’s hard to hide the shame, but at least your hair will be out of sight again.

Impatiently, you tap your foot with the sound of the clock on the wall. Some problem of some kind with the scanner up front was causing the line to lag, and not to say so first-world problem-haver, but the less time you spend in here, the more time you can scream into your pillow back home. 

A stretch of the neck, you look up, down, and side to side. On your left, your eyes catch something too familiar. 

Something in the universe is clearly toying with you because as soon as you crane your head just a tad bit further, you find the same gorgeous man standing behind you. He’s looking somewhere else, eyes pointed in the distance and his lips pursed together in thought. 

Why. Is He. So. Cute. Just standing there like that?

“Hi,” you see his lips move, voice low but friendly. “Your ramen alright there?” 

“Me?” you squeak out. His eyes train themselves on you, and for a second he looks just as confused. But he comes back with a short laugh, and you feel like shrinking into dust. 

But it doesn’t sound like he’s laughing at you, it wasn’t mean or said with a grimace at all. 

He nods his head confirming your silly question and adds, “Yes, the ones you’re holding onto for dear life in there.” 

“These?” you ask again, like a complete dysfunctional human machine. “Oh, um— yeah. They’re fine. Hahaha,” you reply and you sound nervous. 

You shouldn’t be, he’s asking a legitimate question and you’re making it out to be like an interrogation! Snap out of it, reprimanding yourself in the head. This is not how you talk to people at all. 

“Good.” He continues smiling at you, but his eyes shift elsewhere. Well, that’s probably your cue to stop this uncomfortable situation for yourself, and for his good as well. 

But he’s still talking, and addressing you it seems. 

“I think it’s your turn.” 

“Hi, I can take your stuff right here, miss.” 

“Yes, please! Thanks,” you hurry off to the front, out of breath and out of words left to speak. 

There was no point to keep looking back, you’ve done your part acting the way you did. Maybe you should have just waited until tomorrow to get groceries, you would have benefitted from sleeping in earlier than showcasing how clumsy you can be to a complete stranger. (Not to mention someone your type.)

The employee speedily checks out your items and puts them in a paper bag. She asks if there was anything else you’d like, and you contemplate on the hot coffee that you wanted. You pull out the coins and one lone paper bill you had in your pockets to assess if it’s within your budget. 

“Is this enough for what I got?” you lay out your change and then some on the counter. It may be your imagination, but it feels like the guy behind you is watching. You shift to the side slightly to hide the fact that you’re paying with coins. 

She glances at your choice of payment, and says words that could literally be the cause of your death tonight. “I’m sorry, do you have an extra fifty cents? These would only pay for three of your cup noodles, miss.” 

Robbed of one, already cheap choice of dinner tonight, her voice seemed to increase in volume revealing your insufficient amount of cash on hand to everyone in the store. 

She watches as you blink your eyes tight, face squirming hard. 

“It’s okay… I’ll just get those that I can pay for,” you respond meekly, and she nods. You don’t hear anything else anymore, maybe she was offering a coupon or whatever, you had one mission and one thing in mind only: get the hell out of there. 

You take the paper bag, bow your head in thanks, and head out the door faster than you can realize that the rain had started pouring hard for what seemed like a few minutes prior. 

Now your sweater is drenched, your paper bag is starting to crumble from the bottom, and you didn’t bring an umbrella.

Nor do you have any money or phone with you to call a cab to your apartment. 

In an effort to keep some parts of you not wet, you keep to yourself just barely outside of the store where the roof is still hanging; just enough to cover half of your body from the pouring rain. It’s amazing, you think, what absolute god must you have angered for you to be stuck in something so stupid like this? 

You can’t go back in the store, the guy is still there— suddenly you realize with a panic in your heart. He’ll see you here, right next to the door, waiting for the rain to stop once he exits out of the store. 

Either way, he’ll recognize you, and to pity you or laugh at you secretly, it’s his choice now. It’s his right to, you wouldn’t care anymore. 

Let the clown music reverberate in your ears, it’s an anthem you’d proudly sing amidst pouring rain.

With your thoughts seeming to come to life for the nth time, the door opens with an annoying chime, and as you look up it’s him, of course, it’s him. 

But he’s not laughing nor does it look like he’s just going to avoid your sorry figure. He stands next to you, opens up his black umbrella at an arm’s reach and puts it over both your heads. His shoulders touch your wet sweater, and you’re inclined to move away but the umbrella can only cover a tiny area. 

You hold in a breath, afraid when you exhale he’d see panic written all over your face. 

“You okay?” 

You nod, keeping your gaze forward, into the dim surroundings and the pitter patter of the night sky. 

“Do you have any means of going home?” He asks again, and you’re sure he’s looking at you. 

“I was planning on walking…” you finally quip, quiet and unsure of yourself. “Once the rain stops,” you let out a shaky breath. Frankly, you feel more stressed out than nervous at this point. 

He doesn’t strike you as a man with malicious intent so far, and if he were to rob you right here right now, well — he should know, of all people in this store (aside from the cashier) that there’s nothing of value with you at the moment. You’re basically of no value as far as you can tell. 

Sad.

“It doesn’t look like it’s stopping anytime soon,” he says, and you take a quick peek at him. He scans the surroundings, eyes focused and eyebrows knitted together. He looks back at you, and you’re frozen in place. 

“Let me call a cab for you,” he tells you with concern. 

“I wouldn’t want to be a bother,” you say frantically, dismissing him with one hand. The other was still holding the wet paper bag against your chest, and you feel it dampening your sweater each second that passes by. “I can just wait it out in the store.”

He continues to look at you as he pouts, and you stand there next to him feeling small. You appreciate his kindness, really, but you know a guy dressed like that has better places to be at and you’re here slowing him down. 

“Honestly, it’s okay,” you try and ease his worries, but he doesn’t look convinced. “I live, like, fifteen minutes away. I have nothing else to do at home, so there’s no reason for me to be back so soon.”

“Are you sure?” 

“Positive,” you urge on, smiling at his politeness. “Besides, I don’t want to keep you here. I’m so sorry for the inconvenience.” 

“Nonsense. It should be the rain apologizing to us,” he says with a tsk. 

You can’t help but giggle at his silly remark. He’s handling this stress-free while you haven’t stopped sweating since he stood beside you with the umbrella. 

“How about this, I give you my umbrella—” you start to protest but he puts a finger up, coaxing you to bite your lip to keep it shut. “— so that you can walk home without getting rained on too much, and I’ll call myself a cab.” 

It was a tempting offer, but not quite reasonable to you yet. 

It’s the generosity he’s offering which shouldn’t be too much of a surprise, in fact, you should feel relieved. But your guard is still up, even if the rain isn’t letting up itself anytime soon. 

If you keep declining him, who knows how much more patience he has to appease your feigning grandiose modesty? 

“I’d pay for your cab if I had money with me right now,” you admit shyly. “Unless you’re comfortable with an online transfer, I’d have to know your information...” It was a stretch because maybe at that point you’d learn of his name, but you didn’t want to go too far. 

“Don’t worry about me for a moment. You can take my umbrella, and I can take a cab. We get home safely, with one of us less drenched unfortunately, but everything will work out in the end. Deal?” His proposition sounds so firm and settled that you had no reason to deny him anymore. 

So you relent, much to your own benefit, too. “Fine.” 

He chuckles at your unintentional curt response. You correct yourself, “I mean— thank you, for the umbrella. Sorry, I was just stupid to go out without one, knowing it was gonna rain sooner than later.” 

“Happens to the best of us,” he chuckles again while pulling something out of his own paper bag. You recognize it immediately, the cup noodles you had to let go of. 

“Oh, you shouldn’t have—” 

“There you go again, rejecting what I’m putting down here,” he chastises. “It would be a shame if,” he looks at the label before continuing, “Savory Shiitake Soup was left out unwillingly with his other cup noodle pals.” 

You stop yourself from internally cringing at how he read it so slowly, as if he’s never had cup ramen in his life. You’d believe it, too, but then again he’s the one parading his sophisticated looks in a local store at a random town. 

“I stick to the basic kinds,” he explains, seeing the meek surprise on your face. 

It is almost twenty degrees out yet your body temperature is steaming hot. You admit defeat (to yourself) and open up the paper bag so he can put the cup inside. Secretly, you’re thankful the whole gang is in there which makes your stomach grumble all of a sudden. And he hears it. 

“I take it, it's almost dinnertime,” he points out. 

“Shut up,” you say, lips pouting. To a stranger. 

He laughs at the bluntness. “It’s the perfect meal for a weather like this. If you have any eggs at home, I recommend cracking one in right before you eat it.” 

“Yes!” You exclaim loudly, eyes shining with interest.

You’ve always done that with your ramen, albeit you hear of some people’s disgust over such a technique. 

“I do have eggs at home, thank god, but I can’t believe you do it that way too,” you disclose. It makes the soup eggy and more creamy, what can you say? 

“I add a drop of chili oil for added spice on mine, that really seals the deal for me,” you continue, feeling a little less uptight being next to him. However, the moment you uttered those words, his face grimaces for a second as he gulps and nods absently at you. 

“You’re not a spicy guy yourself?” It comes out before you register what those words could mean otherwise. 

He doesn’t catch it or at least, he doesn’t mind. He laughs again, and the gleeful contrast of his voice to the harsh rain is somewhat giving you warmth inside. 

(And not the sweaty kind.)

“Not in regards to food, sadly no,” he says. “My friends tolerate it better than I do, so whenever I have the chance to cook for them I have to separate their portions if the recipe called for some kick to it.” 

“You cook?”

“I try to,” he implies sheepishly, cheekbones turning up with the way he grins. It was endearing, watching him explain how it’s become a hobby of his for the past few months and that his roommates have benefited as a result. 

All the food talk continues to make you hungrier, but the way he shares personal stories all of a sudden is a delightful experience for you. His eyes glint animatedly when he recalls the time when two of his friends fought over leftover bulgogi, in which he had no choice but to make some more. At two in the morning.

You listen intently, and laugh when he reaches the punchline and prideful banter about the people he seemed to deeply care about. It didn’t even matter how hard hitting the rain felt against the ground, you were actually covered quite expansively by the umbrella. 

In return, you quickly notice that the side of his coat has been drenched all this time. Instinctively, you pull at the sleeve of his clothing, surprising him by the movement as you butt heads for a moment. It wasn’t hard, but it definitely paused the natural flow of conversation you two were having. 

“You’ve had the umbrella mostly on me this whole time,” you chide almost regretting doing so, “Sorry.” 

“It’s just clothes,” he chuckles upon realizing what just happened, but afterwards his smile returns. “Thanks for looking out for me, though.” 

You feel yourself smiling too wide from that comment. 

You think of something to say before you get too comfortable with this feeling, and then you remember: “You haven’t booked your way home yet.” 

“Oh! You’re right,” he says a little too quickly, and you feel a twinge of disappointment weighting in your stomach at how fast he reacted to that. 

Of course, at the end of the day, he’s just stuck with you due to some unlucky situation you found yourself in. He’s just doing you a favor. 

He checks his phone for a few minutes, the light illuminating on his face. You notice the hard lines of his jaw and the curvature of his nose a bit more definitely now, and it’s amazing how one person can look like that. 

This time, you reprimand yourself from staring too much and so you watch the people passing by again. Hand in hand, raincoats and umbrellas in their grasp as they fight against the current of the rain. 

“Okay, I just finished booking it on the app. It says it should arrive in less than five minutes,” he brings you out of your reverie. 

“That’s great to hear,” you say with as much enthusiasm as you can. You eye the handle of the umbrella in which his hand has been gripping all this time. You know you’re soon to be left with it, alone, as he rides the cab and finally part ways with you. 

“I can keep holding on to this until it gets here,” he says, almost reading your mind. “I hope it is of good use to you tonight, and in the near future.” 

“I’ll keep it safe and useful, of course,” you say, feeling the pit of your stomach get heavier and heavier. You’re not sure what it is, or you’re probably in denial. You start to count the seconds in your head, imagining how to tell him goodbye and perhaps… never seeing him again. 

You don’t even know his name. 

“I’m Younghyun— before I forget,” yet again, he hears the pleas in your mind and you ought to keep the thoughts silent as he suspiciously introduces himself. 

“I’ve been exposing my friends’ and their ways of borderline gluttony to you, I haven’t even given you my name yet.” 

Younghyun, you repeat in your head. Your lips curl upward at the sound of his name, it suits him well. 

“Do you mind if I can get yours as well?” It was a polite question, nothing out of the ordinary of two people meeting each other for the first time. 

But Younghyun seemed to have other, further plans from that. His phone is still on, and it’s facing in your direction. Looking down, you see that he has an unfilled out contact information on the screen. 

“Oh,” you mumble out loud, not wanting for it to sound too pleasantly surprised. He takes it the other way, however, as he tries to retract his phone. “Sorry, I thought— I just wanted to know if you got home safely and—”

“No, please! It’s okay. I’d— um, I don’t have my phone on me right now but I can text my number if that’s alright with you,” you explain quickly before he can put it back in his pocket.

With an openly relieved expression, Younghyun changes the app to his messages and gives you his phone. You type in something easy to recognize in addition to your name on it, and send it to your number. Right as you give it back to him, a car with its headlights on park upfront, beaming the two of you with its brightness. 

“I guess that’s my ride,” Younghyun hesitates. “I know it seems odd, but I really enjoyed talking to you despite…,” he finishes by looking at the puddle forming underneath where you both stand. You agree with a hearty laugh, the uneasiness you feel inside dissipating. 

“Thank you, for the umbrella. And my cheap shiitake noodles,” you humor him, but your words are laced with sincerity. 

He hands you the umbrella, enclosing his fingers over yours as you grip onto the handle tightly. His hand is just the right temperature, cozy and warm. It immediately sends your head reeling. 

“Are you sure you don’t want to share the ride with me? I think I’ve proven enough to you that I’m just a beginner in the kitchen, and not an evil person,” Younghyun suggests. You nudge him just enough to tip him over the edge, playful and amicable on your end. 

“I’ll text you, I promise. Is that good enough for you, Younghyun?” With the sound of his name coming from you, lips widen in the most cheerful grin he’s shared to you today. 

If you’re being really honest with yourself, you feel a little special.

“You better stay true to your words.” 

“Go home, Younghyun!” 

You watch his ride pull out of the parking lot, and drive into the night. It’s funny because the rain went from hazardous conditions to gentle whispers of droplets which makes walking back home easier for you, probably even without an umbrella. 

But you hold onto it tight, knowing that Younghyun had his hands on the same spot makes you squeal like a teenage girl on the way home. You walk faster than normal, pools of water on the pavement splashing at the ends of your sweatpants. It’s disgusting, you most likely need to change completely, but it was far from your concern. 

You get home and head straight for your bed where your phone was, disregarding the drenched clothes you have on dripping on the sheets. 

The text from Younghyun’s number came through, and inspecting further he texts you two more times. 

You giggle, finally letting out giddy feelings where no one can judge you. You text him back. 

And you think that’s the end for today, and you think of things to say for tomorrow that wouldn’t make you seem like you’re overstepping it. But your phone vibrates in your hand, and your eyes stare at his quick response. 

Your heart pounds in your chest; it’s heavy, weighing down on you but for completely different reasons. 

You plop down on your bed head first, pillow against your cheek. You actually do it, you scream. Not of what you thought you’d be doing, but the complete opposite. 

Before you pass out in excitement, you manage a reply. 

You do end up staying up late at night, eating your well deserved hot cup of noodles. But the laptop isn’t on, and you decide you can catch up on shows some other time. 

You and Younghyun text the night away, it’s not awkward anymore. You feel yourself easing up to his banter through messages and gifs which you try to one up him every so often. 

The rain had stopped sometime in the night, and instead your heart continued to pound heavily in your chest. It was exhilarating, to say the least, but you welcomed the feeling of having something to look forward to. 

You remind yourself to not only do groceries tomorrow, but also do your laundry. (You never got to change into something more dry that night.)

[burnedbyshoto]

Hi, can you write a headcanon or a scenario about Todoroki Shouto having a girlfriend and he introduced her to his parents. Like how would Endeavor react to know that his beloved son already has a girlfriend. Thank you so much 😊😘

todoroki shouto x fem!reader

warnings: endeavor LOL, fluff?, shouto and reader are like 25 btwwwww

word count: 1,882

a/n: so this is probably going to be my last fic for this week… i dont know, im moving back up to college and i was lazy and didnt get the number of requests needed done before hand… anyways anon, i really appreciated this ask it was super fun and interesting to write about because it really depended on my viewpoint of endeavor and shoutos future relationship. anyways so sorry this is late!!!! I had to go to the hospital because I had an allergic reaction to something LOL

“Are you sure this dress is appropriate? I don’t want to feel overdressed!” 

You were studying at yourself in the mirror with the tenth outfit you had tried on today. Shouto, who had approved of your summer floral dress, was taking you to introduce you to his family–well, his parents as you already met his siblings–after a bit over a year of dating. You sighed as Shouto called out his admiration of your outfit and carried that you had to be leaving soon if you didn’t want to be late.

You knew that Shouto was nervous to be on time because his mother was going to be there. Todoroki Rei had been released from the psychiatric hospital a few months ago and was settling back into the world. Had it been just Endeavor, well you weren’t sure if Shouto would have even agreed to go. Their relationship had definitely matured since Endeavor retired from being a Pro-Hero, but Shouto has still not forgiven him for anything.

Mumbling curses about your indecisiveness, you slipped on a pair of white wedges and stared at your reflection. Your makeup was done, minimalistic jewelry in place, hair was styled in your favorite semi-formal way, and your outfit was cute. Smiling to your reflection, you grabbed your purse and walked off to where Shouto was waiting for you. 

Shouto stood leaning on the hallway’s wall wearing black pants that accented his long legs, a coffee-colored blazer that made you want him to wear the color more often, and a plain copper-colored t-shirt under the blazer. “Mm,” Shouto approved happily as you gave a quick twirl, “You look stunning.”

“You don’t look too shabby either,” You respond as Shouto twirls you into his chest, his lips immediately connecting with yours and you smiled into the kiss. Feeling Shouto’s fingers tangling into your locks. 

“Don’t you dare.” You warn as Shouto’s mouth trails down your neck, you did not need any hickies appearing moments before meeting Rei and Endeavor.

“Fine,” Shouto relents as he pushes you away from his body, a smirk on his face as he stares at you. “You have got to wear this dress for a date next time.”

“I’ll think about it.” You reply as you clutch your boyfriend’s hand with yours leading him out of the apartment and to whatever restaurant everyone had agreed to meet up at.

⋆✭⋆✭⋆⋆✭⋆✭⋆

You were smiling way too much. 

Not in a good way either, but a bad way. This dinner outing was terribly awkward.

Endeavor–Todoroki-san–was sitting directly across from you at the end of the table, Fuyumi next to him with her girlfriend sitting next to her. Natsuo was the furthest away from Todoroki-san and had even placed his girlfriend directly across from him. You glanced over at Shouto who was talking with his mother, Rei, who sat next to him since you felt awkward taking the spot you knew Shouto wanted more.

So there you sat in a cute floral summer dress in shocking juxtaposition to the very formal looking Todoroki family, hell even Natsuo’s girlfriend was more formal appearing and she was wearing a club outfit. But there you sat smiling away whenever Todoroki-san’s eyes met yours.

God was he intimidating even without the flames coming out of his hair and beard.

“So, y/l/n, Shouto tells me that you’re not a Pro-Hero.” Todoroki-san finally states after the Todoroki siblings momentarily paused in their feuding over what was the worst way anyone of them was teased for their white hair.

Your head snapped over to Todoroki-san, your voice suddenly carrying no sound as you attempted to explain what it is that you did for a living. “I’m a, uh, I’m a–” You said attempting to find the words you were seeking, and you felt Shouto’s hand lay reassuringly onto your lap. “I’m a lawyer over at Deku’s Pro-Hero Agency.”

It was a job you were mighty damn proud of, your boss, being Midoriya Izuku was a total sweetheart and was an impressive client with cases that hardly needed you to have excruciating amounts of evidence for. 

“And what might your quirk be?”

“Endeavor–” Shouto snapped, absolutely not okay with this questionnaire, it was a family dinner, not an interrogation on you after all.

“Recall.” You answer back suddenly not nervous, easing yourself with your nerves of steel to take on your boyfriend’s unyielding father. “I can recall anything and everything I’ve experienced with 100-percent-perfection, and can, in fact, present them to other individuals. It makes me an amazing asset to have, because most Pro-Heroes, as you may recall, deal with cases caused by altered communication.” You paused grabbing Shouto’s hand from your lap and giving it a reassuring squeeze. “Having me as the head lawyer makes people completely honest unless they are not aware of my quirk because as Deku-san’s lawyer they can not lie to us, as I can always bring up said events in court.”

Todoroki-san pulls away from his intense stare at you and does what you believe to see as a nod. But this small interaction caused Shouto to immediately switch seats with you, letting you sit next to Rei who gladly struck up a conversation with you that lasted through the entire night with dexterity.

At the end of the dinner, you actually were smiling out of joy. You really did enjoy Shouto’s sibling’s interactions, there hardly was a dull moment. Rei had been lovely to speak to, and being able to talk to the women Shouto loved more than anyone in the world was something that made you genuinely delighted. Things were going great.

The eight of you at the table eventually finished up dinner and were getting ready to retreat home, you went around and hugged everyone at the table, except Todoroki-san, and was delighted to have Rei hug you tightly.

“Take care of my baby boy, will you?” She whispered as she held you close, and you wordlessly nodded. “My biggest mistake in life was not being strong enough for him, but I think you are more than plenty strong.”

You felt your heart skip a painful beat as you pulled away, but there was still a joyful smile on Rei’s face as she went to hug Shouto. As Shouto placed a hand on your lower back ready to walk off with you into the night, someone called out for you.

“Y/l/n-san,” Todoroki-san spoke, and you turn your head to look at the head male of the family who seemed to be wearing a different expression then the cold look he seemed to adorn the entire evening. “Would you accompany me for a walk before you leave with my son.”

The entire group seems focused on your response, and you felt Shouto rearing to tell his father off and say you didn’t have to accompany you anywhere. Only you placed a hand on Shouto’s stomach and smiled up at your boyfriend who did not think well of his father’s invitation before he could react. “I would like that.”

You give a quick kiss to Shouto as you followed Todoroki-san out the door and into the night.

⋆✭⋆✭⋆⋆✭⋆✭⋆

The two of you walked in eery silence for a long time, your hands fastened in front of your body, ready for any question coming your way.

“If Shouto had introduced a girl like you to me years ago, I probably would have flipped,” Todoroki-san spoke finally, and you glanced up to see your boyfriend’s father staring up into the sky. “I’m well aware you know about what type of childhood Shouto lived, and your opinion on me as his father.”

“You don’t know my opinion.” You say in response, unsure of what he meant by that phrase, but it was something you did not wish to have put into your mouth.

“It’s the same as Midoriya-san’s, Yaoyorozu-san’s, Iida-san’s…” He paused probably only having remembered three of the influential friends that Shouto had, and you laughed softly knowing that you did, for the most part, agree with those three’s opinion on Todoroki Enji, but where they wanted Shouto to forgive and move on, you wanted Shouto to do what he felt was best. Sometimes those Pro-Heroes were a bit too selfless.

“I am a bit different from them,” You say honestly, meeting Todoroki-san’s gaze as you nod your head, “Whereas Shouto’s friends believe he should forgive you, I think that Shouto should choose whatever he feels like doing. Be it one day he hates you, or the next he doesn’t, I will support him regardless of my personal opinions towards you.”

He lets out a dry chuckle that held zero amusement to it.

“That is fair.” He agrees.

“I know it is.” You respond.

“I know you may not believe me, and I don’t blame you if you don’t, but I am trying hard to make things work.” He says gently, as if not to alarm you.

“By hosting dinner with your children’s significant others, and going as far as worrying the entire table when you asked questions that most people at the very least wait until after a proper conversation to have?” You inputted and Todoroki rolled his eyes, and you could not help but feel the same energy you got when Shouto got annoyed being replicated by his father.

“I’m sorry about that, it’s hard to turn the switch off sometimes.”

“And again, my opinion doesn’t matter,” You repeat, “I will abide by Shouto’s feelings and opinions, not my own when it comes to you.”

You can now see the Todoroki clan waiting for the two of you by the restaurant’s entrance as you have circled back.

The two of you walk in silence as you near closer and closer.

Moments before the two of you are in speaking distance to the group, Todoroki mutters something to you that you can’t help but take as a win.

“For what it’s worth, I’m glad my son found someone like you,” Todoroki grumbles at you, “You make him happy, even I can tell that, even if your quirks are highly incompatible. Please keep him happy and love him, for both Rei and I.”

You stopped walking as Todoroki continued on, and you watched as Shouto walked over to you, his eyes darting back to his father’s retreating body as his sister, her girlfriend, and her mother. Natsuo and his girlfriend crossing the street and disappearing into the night.

You smiled warmly at Shouto who grabbed your arms, quickly studying your form as he checked for any and all signs of fighting or annoyance. “What did he say to you?”

You don’t respond as you go instead for a bold kiss, your arms snaking around his neck as he kisses you back. You sigh contently into Shouto’s mouth as he presses you softly onto his body. Your head tilts to the side as you deepen the kiss for mere moments before breaking apart with a rosy-cheeked grin.

Looking at him, you Recalled the memory, or at the very least the end part.

“Please keep him happy and love him, for both Rei and I.” Todoroki’s voice echoed in the memory you presented to Shouto and despite any harboring negative feelings Shouto may have had he smiles fondly.

“You do that perfectly already.”

i know i am typically really critical of endeavor because,,, yes, but i decided while i kept my criticalness of his character, I chose another route besides his typical: “fuck your girlfriend shouto! reproduce asexually please” because if shouto is introducing someone to his fam they are perfect, sorry but i dont make the rules

bonus!

“What would you have done in the worst case scenario of Endeavor not liking me?” You asked Shouto as the two of you were getting ready for bed.

“Probably would have told him off among other things.” Shouto admitted with a shrug as he wrapped his arms around your waist and placed his chin on your shoulder.

“Telling him off and other things?” You question not all that sure what exactly your boyfriend meant by other things.

Shouto nodded pulling you in closer to his body as he chuckled, “My father is traditional, what better way of showing him that no amount of disapproval towards you will ever make me want you any less.” His lips gently touched the side of your neck with every word causing you to laugh.

“You spicy little rebel you.” You tease as Shouto smirks.

“Would you let this spicy little rebel show you to bed?”

“I approve of said action.”

And with that, he whisked you away.

[jiminthestreets-bonesinthesheets]

Pas De Deux - Chapter 3 (End)

Title: Pas De Deux

Fandom: Supernatural

Pairing: Destiel 

Rating: not really needed for this fluff lol

Tags: fluff, pretty much just a whole lot of fluff XD

Summary: Dean is a closeted ballet dancer, and Cas is playing the Nutcracker Prince in the Kansas State Ballet. When the ballet loses their Clara and Cas confronts Dean about taking the part along side him, will he be able to put aside his fears and let everyone know who he really is? All to help the man of his dreams?

MASTERLIST

AO3

*** My works are not to be posted on any sites without my permission! But comments and reblogs are love! <3 Please and thanks!!

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Chapter Three

     He woke up to the sun blasting through a crack in his curtains, hitting him perfectly across the eyes. He rubbed his face as he slowly sat up in bed, feeling a bit better then he had when he first came home, and wondered how long he had slept. Looking at the clock and seeing it was now after nine, and he had managed to get a decent few hours sleep, he decided to head down to the kitchen and see who was up. Sam was usually an early bird and most times already had breakfast ready by the time Dean decided to roll down stairs. 

     When he got there Sam was in the kitchen, showered, dressed, and stirring a pot of spaghetti sauce he was making for dinner. And just as Dean had expected, there was a fresh pot of coffee made and a plate of bacon, eggs, and toast waiting for him on the counter. 

     He walked over and sat down on one of the stools at the island, watching Sam as he ate, "Where's Mom?"

     "Around somewhere," he answered, as he turned and placed a cup of coffee in front of Dean, "she was up before I was today."

     He nodded and focused on finishing his food, then thanked Sam before heading through the house to go find their mom. He walked down the hall and heard the slam of the dryer door in the laundry room, so he took a hard right and found her inside. Though his smile instantly dropped when he saw her, his entire body froze, and every limb hummed with anxiety while all he could do was stare at his mom, holding two things in her hands staring at them in confusion.

     The first was the tickets Dean had been given by the directors of the ballet, the ones that were meant for her and Sam. The second… was Dean's tights. 

     "Mom…" He finally managed to breathe out, and she turned to look at him. 

     "Dean, what… what is this? Are they yours?"

     "Why do you have those? Why were you in my bag?"

     "You were sleeping, and I saw your bag on the washing machine," she tried to speak calmly, not wanting Dean to freak out, seeing he was clearly on the brink of a meltdown, "I figured since you seemed so tired lately I would do your laundry for you. But what is this? Are you… are you in this show?"

     He was pretty much in tears now, he was so scared. He wanted to do this differently, he wanted to tell them on his own terms, when he felt ready, not have his mom find out on her own because he forgot he left his bag on the washing machine. "I forgot I left my bag here. I… I…"

     Mary just calmly reached out and took Dean by the shoulders, gently guiding him to the kitchen and sitting him at the table. She sat across from him, staring helplessly at him as he just placed his head on his hands, fingers wringing tightly in his hair, knuckles white.

     "Woah," Sam dropped the wooden spoon on the counter with a clatter and practically ran around the counter to sit beside Dean at the table, "what's going on?!"

     "Dean, talk to us, Honey," Mary tried to get him to look up but he wouldn't budge, "Were those tights yours?"

     "Tights?!" Sam looked between them. 

     "I… I couldn't tell you." He shook his head, hands still over his eyes, "I was afraid."

     "Tell us what, Dean,?" Sam tried this time, placing a hand on Dean's shaking shoulder. 

     "Why not, Honey?"

     "Dad…" He finally lifted his head slightly out of his hands, wiping the tears that had smudged all over his face now, though still not making eye contact with anyone. "Dad would never want me to be the person I am, he would be disappointed."

     "Disappointed about what, Dean?!" Sam moved to get into Dean's eye line but he quickly darted his eyes away. "You're a great person, why would anyone be disappointed in you? What could you have done that's so wrong?"

     Dean just shook his head and closed his eyes, the sobs coming back a little harder now. Mary reached over the table and managed to get ahold of one of his to squeeze it comfortingly. "Tell Sam, it's okay."

     "I…" He tried to look at Sam but he couldn't. He was afraid that just because his dad was gone and he couldn't see the look of disappointment on his face, he still might see it on Sam's. But he forced it out anyways, since there was no going back now, "I… dance."

     "Okay," Sam shrugged his bottom lip and shook his head, seemingly unfazed, "I still don't understand why you're crying though. Lots of people dance, many of them are amazingly talented, so why are you so upset?"

     "But I'm a ballet dancer, Sam! Not some crazy cool hip hop dancer that you're probably thinking of, no, I dance around the stage in girly tights!" He slammed a fist down on the table, making Sam jump a little. "And the tickets Mom found in my bag, along with my tights, were for the performance I am going to be in. I am part of the Kansas State Ballet's rendition of The Nutcracker."

     "You… you dance ballet?" Sam smiled a bit at the thought, "Dean Winchester, the manliest man of all men to ever man, dances ballet?"

     "This is exactly why I didn't say anything," Dean just shook his head and wiped away more stray tears, "Dad would have killed me if he ever found out that I loved ballet, let alone taught myself the skill. He wanted me to be the manly man that everyone knows and thinks I am, not some pansy dancing around the stage in tights."

     "But, Dean, that's awesome!" Dean turned to Sam, a little startled. "Ballet’s actually one of the most intense dance forms out there! It's so powerful, and moving. And the fact that you taught yourself the art, and are a part of a state ballet group, is something that a lot of classically trained dancers could never even come close to be able to do!"

     "But… Dad-"

     “Your father is gone now, Honey, has been for four years," she gave his hand a squeeze again, and this time she managed to catch his eye, "you have to stop looking over your shoulder and expecting him to be there. It's only holding you back. He would have been proud of you no matter what, he loved you."

     "Would he still be proud if he knew I wore tights and danced in pointe shoes?"

     Mary shrugged, "He might have been a little sad that you didn't want to follow in his footsteps and fall into sports, but he would have supported you regardless. I know he seemed like a hardened man, but he loved you boys. And now it's time for you to just let go of that past and be yourself, Dean.” 

     Dean shook his head vigorously, gasping out, "I can't,"

     “You can.” She assured him in her most firm mom voice she could muster.

     "You don't understand!" Dean nearly screamed, "It is hardwired into my brain that I shouldn't be this way! I should be covered in dirt sliding across a baseball diamond, or sweating through my gear on the ice, not dancing in skin tight outfits and sparkles. He would hate me, he would hate everything I am!"

     "No he wouldn't," she said softly and shook her head, "but that doesn't matter anymore, Dean, this is your time to be you, and I wish you would have told me sooner rather than suppressing this obvious passion. I want you to be happy, Dean, and if ballet is it for you then that is perfectly fine! Just be you, please, Honey.” 

     He didn't say anymore after that. Just sat at the table for most of the day, contemplating everything that his mom and brother had said, and what he was going to do about it. 

~~~~~~~~~~~

     It was their last rehearsal before they would open to the public. Opening night was right around the corner. Everyone was a cluster of excitement and nerves, buzzing around the theater, the knowledge that their tickets had sold out seconds after being released was making the atmosphere even more intense. The entire cast was reeling, well, everyone except Dean. He still hadn't shown up at the theater yet, he was almost an hour late for the rehearsal, and Cas was starting to get worried. Along with others. 

     "Have you heard from him, Castiel?" Cas just shook his head at a worried Chuck from center stage, "Has anyone heard from Dean?!"

     He ran through the theater, asking everyone about Dean as the rest of the cast waited patiently on stage. Cas just stood there alone, worried, waiting along with everyone else, his body tingling with fear that maybe Dean wasn't coming back. Maybe this was it, maybe he had decided he didn't want this anymore, or his family didn't want it. 

     He listened to the hushed conversations around him, trying to focus on that for a moment, but that didn't help. For the very first thing he heard was one of the female dancers saying to another, “I overheard him saying yesterday that he was going home to tell his family about the show, he was worried it wouldn’t go over well. I hope everything’s okay.”

     And if Castiel's heart wasn't already in his feet. But then suddenly pounding footsteps came from Castiel's right and he turned to see Dean bouncing across the stage to stand next to him. "I'm here, sorry I'm so late!"

     Both Chuck and Metatron breathed hard sighs of relief and said, “Oh thank heavens!”

     "I just had some things to clear up back home, I'm really sorry!" The directors both waved him off, just thankful their other star was still here. Then he turned his attention to Cas at his side and smiled, a little twinkle in his eye as he said only to him, "I'm ready for this, I'm ready to just be me."

     "Shall we get this final rehearsal on the road then?!" Metarton waved his hands in the air and everyone started running around them. "Places people, places!"

     Cas walked over with a matching smile to Dean’s and took both his hands in his own. He didn't say anything, he didn't need to, neither of them did. So instead he just lifted Dean's hands to his mouth, placed a gentle kiss on the knuckles of each hand, and then moved back to get in his place. The whole time the two of them never took their eyes off one another, even as the orchestra started playing their final dance.

~~~~~~~~~~~

     It was finally opening night and Dean had never been so god damn nervous in his entire life. He was currently standing backstage in full costume, peeking out the curtain at the completely full seats, people packing into the theater, and his heart was pounding out of his chest. Then he looked to the front row and saw his mom and Sam, sitting in the seats given to them by the directors, and then both Chuck and Metatron waltzed through the orchestra to introduce themselves to them. That made his nerves even worse, he was sure his heart was going to pop out of his chest and explode, and he had the sudden urge to whip off his pointe shoes and get the hell outta dodge. But then there were hands on his shoulders, rubbing up and down his arms, steadying and grounding. "Cas," he breathed and leaned back.

     "You're nervous," he whispered into Dean's ear as he leaned impossibly closer to Cas. 

     He nodded, "Sammy's here, and my mom, talking to Chuck and Metatron," he let out a long shuddering sigh, "what if they hate it? What if I mess up because they're watching?! What if everyone laughs at me?! Cas!"

     He turned Dean towards him and pulled him into a tight hug, Dean wrapping his arms around his neck and digging his face in, "You're spiraling, Dean," he rubbed his hands soothingly up and down his back, "you have nothing to worry about. I promise that not just your family, but everyone in the audience will love your performance. You will not fall, because I will always catch you. And no one will laugh at you, because if they do they will have to answer to me."

     Dean chuckled against Cas's neck as Cas continued, "You will be fine. You know the dances inside and out, you know every single move, every line." Cas kept going as he felt Dean relaxing, and started moving his hands up Dean's sides to his arms, then his hands, twisting him around and resting his head on his shoulder, wrapping their clasped hands around Dean and holding him tightly to his chest. "And you know me, and I know you. When we dance together our bodies are one and it is just you and I on the stage together, just us. That's all you need to remember, and if you feel like you are starting to slip, just reach out your hand and I will be there, I promise."

     Dean just nodded and inhaled deeply, trying to calm himself, and it definitely helped when Cas gently pressed his lips to Dean's neck. Not so much a kiss but it was oh so comforting. 

     They stayed like that for a while, as long as they could, Cas's lips still pressed to Dean's neck and rocking them softly back and forth. Until the lights started to flicker, the signal for everyone to take their seats and for the cast and crew to take their positions. 

     Cas gave Dean one last hug before pulling back and taking Dean's hands in his, lifting them to his mouth to do his new favourite thing, and placed a kiss on the knuckles of each hand. Then moved across the stage to stand on the other side facing Dean. 

     His nerves came back a bit now that Cas was gone, he could still see him but not having his hands on him was unsettling him again, and even more so when he heard Chuck and Metatron on the other side of the curtain, addressing the audience before the show would start. 

     "Welcome everyone to the Kansas State Ballet's rendition of The Nutcracker!" Metatron announced and claps and cheers filled the air. 

     "Though," Chuck stepped in, "we got off to a pretty rocky start, didn't we."

     Metatron chuckled, "That we did, but maybe for the better!"

     "Very true," Chuck nodded, then turned to the audience, "early on in rehearsals we had a small bump, that being that our original lead of Clara had to… unexpectedly leave us. But, in place of her, we were gifted an angel, your very own, champion of dance, hometown boy, Dean Winchester!"

     From backstage Dean could hear everyone cheering, clapping louder than before, and the undeniable Sam Winchester whistle and hollar combo, which he had to admit eased his nerves just a bit. And Chuck and Metatron went on. 

      "Well, look at us, gushing over our stars," Metatron laughed, "we should just let you see for yourselves the pure, raw chemistry and talent that we have discovered here. Allow us to let Dean Winchester and Castiel Novak steal your hearts as they have ours."

     "So, without further ado," Chuck said just before they backed away to duck backstage, "we give you, The Nutcracker!"

     They both backed away, tucked themselves backstage to watch their masterpiece unfold, as the curtain opened and the lights shone hot and bright on the stage. 

     Dean took a deep breath, the worst part of this ballet was that he had to do the first act without Cas, before the Nutcracker Prince came in to play. But he looked over at Cas, still standing directly across from him, and he gave him a reassuring smile and gestured to himself and Dean. Just you and I together, Dean thought, I'm dancing for Cas. And with a smile and a new found burst of energy he bounded across the stage to give the best performance he could.

~~~~~~~~~~~

     As the show went on and Dean was finally able to get to dance with Cas, his very own Nutcracker Prince, that chemistry that Chuck and Metatron had spoken of came in full force. 

     Sam watched in complete awe from the front row as his brother moved on stage before him. He had never seen Dean so happy, so powerful, so amazing! And the way he danced with the other lead, it was such an intense form of intimacy, of pure completeness, that Sam was sure the entire audience could feel it. The atmosphere around him was on fire, and everyone in the audience was on the edge of their seats through the entire performance. 

     The ballet had everything, Sam thought as his eyes opened impossibly wider with each passing act. Crazy fights, ups, downs, emotions, romance, devastation, and love. And all too soon for him, and everyone else watching, it was too quickly coming to an end. 

     He watched as the Nutcracker Prince and Charles came together for their final dance, and he had to admit that he was slightly jealous at the way Dean and the Nutcracker were looking at each other. But he was oh so happy for his brother, he was finally truly happy. 

     Sparks were clearly flying between them, and as the orchestra played the final notes of the song, Charles and his Nutcracker Prince held their ending poses and the entire audience rose to their feet. Not a single person wasn't standing, not a single eye was dry, and that included both Chuck and Metatron who walked slightly out on the stage, both cheering as loud as everyone else was. 

     And just before the other dancers joined them on stage for a bow, Cas couldn't resist doing what he had been wanting to do for so long. Both of them panting, gazing deeply at each other, Dean's pure blissful smile that he knew was only there for him, and Cas knew what would make the perfect ending to this night. So he pulled lightly on Dean's hand in his and he bounced forwards into Castiel's arms. And right there, in front of everyone in the audience, Cas dipped Dean backwards and finally, finally kissed Dean. 

     The audience erupted impossibly louder, but Dean and Cas didn't even hear it. It was just the two of them. Dean clutched tighter to Cas as he dipped him a little further back, and Dean ran his hands up to clutch Cas's face as the cast around them bowed, and the curtain closed in front of them. 

~~~~~~~~~~~

     Castiel's lips were on his for what felt like a blissful eternity, lips and tongue moving with Dean's as if they were built perfectly for each other. And Dean never wanted it to end, but eventually it had to. 

     One of their celebrating cast members bumped into them as they bounced by, excited over a perfect performance, and Cas gave Dean one last long kiss before they pulled apart and Cas stood them back up. 

     Dean was even more breathless now then he had been after the dance had ended. Kissing Cas was something he had wanted to do since the very first moment he saw him dancing in that studio, and all he could do was smile and even blush a little as he pulled Cas's forehead to rest on his, "It's about time."

     Cas chuckled, his chest vibrating against Dean's as he did, and pulled Dean in even closer, "Wanted to do that for a very long time now."

     "Me too, Cas."

     They stood together for a moment before Cas said, "You were amazing, Dean."

     "So were you," he nuzzled his nose against Cas's, leaning in a little closer for another kiss, "I wouldn't have been able to do all of this if it wasn't for you."

     Before they could kiss again, a screech was heard from off to the side, startling them both as well as silencing the entire cast and crew still backstage. Cas clutched a little tighter to Dean, but Dean just laughed and hid his face in Cas's shoulder before he turned slightly, still holding Cas.

     "Mom," he laughed as she came running through the parting crowd towards them, nearly crashing into them, "stop freaking out, it's embarrassing."

     She pulled him away from Cas and into the tightest bear hug he had ever been in, "You were amazing, Honey, so absolutely amazing!"

     "Mom's right, Dean," Sam came up behind them, taking his turn to hug Dean, "that was the best performance I have ever seen! It had everything! I was literally on the edge of my seat the entire time!"

     "Thanks, Sammy! And I’m glad you're here cuz there’s someone I want you to meet," Dean said as he backed up, rubbing the back of his neck. Then he turned back and took Castiel's hand, bringing him forwards a bit, "this is Cas, the other lead and… and…"

     Dean stuttered, not exactly sure what to say, especially while his mom and brother were staring at him so intensely. Not to mention the all too knowing matching Winchester smirks they were sending his way. So Cas stepped forward, hand outstretched towards them, "I'm Dean's boyfriend."

     Boyfriend, Dean thought, and his stomach had butterflies again, though this time the good kind. And he couldn't help but laugh as his boyfriend's hand was swatted away by Sam, and he was taken in a Winchester group hug, while Sam patted his back and said, "Welcome to the family, man!" Then backed away and held out two bouquets of flowers to the both of them, "And these are for you guys, congrats on an amazing first performance, and many more to come!"

     "Thanks, Sammy," Dean said as he took it, then settled himself against Cas's side again, "it means a lot that you guys liked the show."

     "We really did, Honey, and we’re so proud of you, both of you." She stood between them for one more hug and a kiss on each boy's cheek before backing away and saying, "alright, you two change and then I'm taking you both to dinner, on me. Sammy and I will wait for you by the car."

     Dean watched them go with a smile as Cas pulled him a little closer so he could kiss his cheek. "Your family is great, I am glad to be a part of it."

     "They're a little crazy but I love them," he said and turned a bit, smiling at Cas, "almost as much as I love you."

     "And I love you, Dean," he said as he leaned in, pressing his lips to Dean's in an almost kiss, "I am so very glad that you snuck into that dance studio and watched me dancing like a creeper."

     Dean couldn't help but laugh against Cas's lips and said, "Me too, Cas, me too," and closed the gap between them. Dean was pleased that everything had turned out better than he had ever thought it would, and that the ballet had been a winning performance, but of all of that the only thing that he really cared about was that the man in his arms, currently kissing him absolutely senseless, was finally all his. His very own Nutcracker Prince.

The end. 

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A/N: So that’s the end friends! My one shot turned three chapter fic lol 

I hope you guys enjoyed it, and as always I have plenty more fics on the horizon, so look forward to those! Love you guys! <3

I also wanted to send a huge shout out to my lovely friend @thebridgekid for always putting up with me, reading all my crazy ideas, and just being super awesome <3<3<3

@dean-humanity-winchester